Friendship is Magic, part 1

Narrator: Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies. But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Nightmare Moon.
[lightning crack]
Narrator: She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night. Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister, and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for both...
Narrator and Twilight Sparkle: ...sun and moon...
Twilight Sparkle: ...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since. Hmm... Elements of Harmony. I know I've heard of those before... but where?
[theme song]
Twinkleshine: There you are, Twilight! Moon Dancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry, girls... I've got a lot of studying to catch up on.
Twinkleshine: [sigh] Does that pony do anything except study? I think she's more interested in books than friends.
Twilight Sparkle: I know I've heard of the Elements of Harmony.
Spike: Ow!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Spi-ike! Spike?
Spike: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: There you are. Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. What's that for?
Spike: Well, it was a gift for Moon Dancer, but...
[squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing.
Spike: But we're on a break!
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no... no, no, no! [grunts] Spike!
Spike: It's over here!
[whack]
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Elements, Elements, E, E, E... Aha! Elements of Harmony, see: Mare in the Moon?
Spike: Mare in the Moon? But that's just an old ponies' tale.
Twilight Sparkle: Mare, mare... aha! The Mare in the Moon, myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal! [gasp] Spike! Do you know what this means?
Spike: No— whoa!
[smack]
Spike: Ow!
Twilight Sparkle: Take a note please, to the Princess.
Spike: Okie dokie.
Twilight Sparkle: My dearest teacher, my continuing studies of pony magic have led me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster!
Spike: Hold on. Preci... preci...
Twilight Sparkle: Threshold.
Spike: Threh...
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, brink? Ugh, that something really bad is about to happen! For you see, the mythical Mare in the Moon is in fact Nightmare Moon, and she's about to return to Equestria, and bring with her eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true. I await your quick response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
Spike: Twi... light Spar... kle. Got it!
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Send it.
Spike: Now?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course!
Spike: Uh, I dunno, Twilight, Princess Celestia's a little busy getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration. And it's like, the day after tomorrow.
Twilight Sparkle: That's just it, Spike. The day after tomorrow is the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration! It's imperative that the Princess is told right away!
Spike: Impera... impera...
Twilight Sparkle: Important!
Spike: Whoa!
[crunch]
Spike: Okay, okay! [inhale] There, it's on its way. But I wouldn't hold your breath...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not worried, Spike. The Princess trusts me completely. In all the years she's been my mentor she's never once doubted me.
Spike: [belch]
Twilight Sparkle: See? I knew she would want to take immediate action.
Spike: [clears throat] My dearest, most faithful student Twilight. You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm!
Spike: ...but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Spike: My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying, so I'm sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year's location: Ponyville. And, I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Spike: Look on the bright side, Twilight. The Princess arranged for you to stay in a library. Doesn't that make you happy?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, yes it does. You know why? Because I'm right! I'll check on the preparations as fast as I can, then get to the library to find some proof of Nightmare Moon's return.
Spike: Then... when will you make friends, like the Princess said?
Twilight Sparkle: She said to check on preparations. I am her student, and I'll do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends.
Royal guards: [whinnying]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, sirs.
Royal guards: [huffing]
Spike: Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about. Come on, Twilight, just try!
Twilight Sparkle: Um... hello?
Pinkie Pie: [prolonged gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that was interesting all right.
Spike: [sigh]
Spike: Summer Sun Celebration official overseer's checklist. Number one, banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack: Yeehaw!
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Let's get this over with... Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle—
Applejack: Well, howdy-doo, Miss Twilight, a pleasure makin' your acquaintance. I'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!
Twilight Sparkle: Friends? Actually, I—
Applejack: So, what can I do you for?
Spike: [snickering]
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you're in charge of the food?
Applejack: We sure as sugar are! Would you care to sample some?
Twilight Sparkle: As long as it doesn't take too long...
[triangle ringing]
Applejack: Soup's on, everypony!
[thump]
Applejack: Now, why don't I introduce y'all to the Apple family?
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, but I really need to hurry—
Applejack: This here's Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin. Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp... [deep breath] Big McIntosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. Up'n'attem, Granny Smith, we got guests.
Granny Smith: [snort] Wha..? Soup's on? I'm up, here I come, ahm comin'...
Applejack: Why, I'd say you're already part of the family!
Twilight Sparkle: [spit] [nervous laughter] Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way.
Apple Bloom: Aren't you gonna stay for brunch?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do...
Apple family: [disappointed sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: ...fine.
Apple family: [cheering]
Spike: Food's all taken care of, next is weather.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh... I ate too much pie...
Spike: Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she's not doing a very good job, is she?
[whack]
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: Nng.
Rainbow Dash: [sheepish laughter] Uh, 'scuse me? [more sheepish laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Nnnn.
Rainbow Dash: [laughter] Lemme help you.
[rushing water]
Rainbow Dash: [more sheepish laughter] Oops, I guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how about this? My very own patented Rain-Blow Dry! No no. Don't thank me. You're quite welcome. [bursts out laughing]
Spike: [bursts out laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Let me guess. You're Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: The one and only. Why, you heard of me?
Twilight Sparkle: I heard you were supposed to be keeping the sky clear. [sigh] I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the Princess sent me to check on the weather.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, that'll be a snap. I'll do it in a jiffy. Just as soon as I'm done practicing.
Twilight Sparkle: Practicing for what?
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts! They're gonna perform at the Celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff!
Twilight Sparkle: The Wonderbolts?
Rainbow Dash: Yep!
Twilight Sparkle: The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?
Rainbow Dash: That's them!
Twilight Sparkle: Pfft! Please. They'd never accept a Pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat.
Twilight Sparkle: Prove it.
[whooshing noises]
Rainbow Dash: [sounds of exertion] Loop-de-loop around, and wham! What'd I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat. I'd never leave Ponyville hanging. [sheep baaing] [chuckles] You should see the look on your face. Ha! You're a laugh, Twilight Sparkle. I can't wait to hang out some more.
Spike: Wow, she's amazing! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Rrgh.
Spike: Wait! It's kinda pretty once you get used to it!
Spike: Decorations. Beautiful...
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, the décor is coming along nicely. This ought'a be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed.
Spike: Not the décor, her!
Rarity: No, no, no, oh! Goodness no.
Spike: How are my spines? Are they straight?
Twilight Sparkle: Good afternoon—
Rarity: Just a moment, please! I'm 'in the zone', as it were. Oh, yes! Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rarity, you are a talent. Now, um, how can I help yo— [yelp] Oh my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your coiffure?!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you mean my mane? Well, it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations, and then I'll be out of your hair!
Rarity: Out of my hair? What about your hair?!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Where are we going?! Help!
Rarity: No, no, uh-uh. Too green. Too yellow. Too poofy. Not poofy enough. Too frilly. Too... shiny. Now go on, my dear. You were telling me where you're from.
Twilight Sparkle: [wincing] I've... been sent... from Canterlot... to—
Rarity: Huh?
[crash]
Rarity: Canterlot?! Oh, I am so envious! The glamour, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there! I can't wait to hear all about it! We are gonna be the best of friends, you and I... Emeralds?! What was I thinking? Let me get you some rubies!
Twilight Sparkle: Quick! Before she decides to dye my coat a new color!
Spike: [sigh]
Spike: Wasn't she wonderful?
Twilight Sparkle: Focus, Casanova. What's next on the list?
Spike: [clears throat] Oh, uh, music! It's the last one!
[distant birdsong fanfare]
Fluttershy: Oh my. Um, stop please, everyone, umm. Excuse me, sir? I mean no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off. Now, follow me, please. A-one, a-two, a-one two three-
Twilight Sparkle: Hello!
Fluttershy: [yelp]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten your birds. I'm just here to check up on the music and it's sounding beautiful. [pause] I'm Twilight Sparkle. [pause] What's your name?
Fluttershy: [very quietly] Um... I'm Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, what was that?
Fluttershy: [even quieter] Um... My name is Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't quite catch that.
Fluttershy: [squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [pause] Well, um, it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order. Keep up the good work!
Fluttershy: [squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Oookay. [to Spike] Well, that was easy.
Fluttershy: [gasp] A baby dragon!
[thump]
Fluttershy: Oh, I've never seen a baby dragon before. He's sooo cute!
Spike: Well, well, well...!
Fluttershy: Oh my, he talks. I didn't know dragons could talk. That's just so incredibly wonderful I, I just don't even know what to say!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, in that case we'd better be going.
Fluttershy: Wait, wait! What's his name?
Spike: I'm Spike.
Fluttershy: Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy. Wow, a talking dragon! And what do dragons talk about?
Spike: Well, what do you wanna know?
Fluttershy: Absolutely everything.
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Spike: Well... I started out as a cute little purple and green egg...
Spike: ...and that's the story of my whole entire life! Well, up until today. Do you wanna hear about today?
Fluttershy: Oh, yes, please!
Spike: Gyah!
Twilight Sparkle: I am so sorry, how did we get here so fast? This is where I'm staying while in Ponyville and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep.
Spike: No I don't— whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Aww, wook at dat, he's so sweepy he can't even keep his widdle bawance!
Fluttershy: Poor thing, you simply must get into bed...
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, yes, we'll get right on that. Well, g'night!
[door slamming]
Spike: Huh. Rude much?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Spike, but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now, where's the light?
[light flicks on]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [honk]
Ponies: Surprise!
[kazoo blows]
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
[music warps down]
Pinkie Pie: Surprise!
[party whistle blows]
Pinkie Pie: Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Huh huh huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Very surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet.
Pinkie Pie: Well, that's silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! Y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all "hello" and I was all [deep gasp], remember? Y'see I've never saw you before and if I've never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Pinkie Pie: And if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went [deep gasp]! I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!
[kettle whistling]
Applejack: Are you all right, sugarcube?
[train whistle blowing]
Pinkie Pie: Aww, she's so happy she's crying!
Spike: "Hot sauce".
Pinkie Pie: Ooh... [with mouth full] What? It's good!
[muffled disco music]
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
[door opens, music gets louder]
Spike: Hey Twilight! Pinkie Pie's starting "pin the tail on the pony"! Wanna play?
Twilight Sparkle: No! All the ponies in this town are crazy! Do you know what time it is?!
Spike: It's the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration. Everypony has to stay up, or they'll miss the Princess raise the sun! You really should lighten up, Twilight. It's a party!
Twilight Sparkle: [mockingly imitates Spike]
[door closes, music stops]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, here I thought I'd have time to learn about the Elements of Harmony but, silly me, all this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it! "Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night." I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old pony tale...
Spike: C'mon, Twilight, it's time to watch the sunrise!
Pinkie Pie: Isn't this exciting? Are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited— well, except for the time that I saw you walking into town and I went [deep gasp] but I mean really, who can top that?
[fanfare]
Mayor Mare: Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!
[ponies cheering]
Mayor Mare: In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...
Fluttershy: Ready?
Mayor Mare: ...Princess Celestia!
Rarity: Huh?
[ponies chattering quietly and nervously in the background]
Twilight Sparkle: This can't be good.
Mayor Mare: Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games! Is she hiding?
Rarity: She's gone!
[ponies gasping]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, she's good. [yelp]
[ponies gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no... Nightmare Moon!
Spike: [sigh]
Nightmare Moon: Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces.
Rainbow Dash: What did you do with our Princess?!
Applejack: [muffled] Whoa there, Nelly...
Nightmare Moon: [chuckle] Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, more guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes! How about... Queen Meanie! No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty—[muffled noises]
Nightmare Moon: Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?
Twilight Sparkle: I did. And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!
[ponies gasping]
Nightmare Moon: Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here.
Twilight Sparkle: You're here to... to... [gulp]
Nightmare Moon: [chuckle] Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever! [laughter, thunder]
[To be continued...]
[music]
[credits]

Friendship is Magic, part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: "Elements of Harmony, see 'Mare in the Moon'"?
Spike: But that's just an old ponies' tale.
Twilight Sparkle: She will bring about nighttime eternal.
Twilight Sparkle: It's imperative that the princess is told right away.
Spike: [burps]
Twilight Sparkle: I knew she would wanna take immediate action.
Spike: My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying. Make some friends!
Pinkie Pie: [prolonged gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: All the ponies in this town are crazy!
Twilight Sparkle: I hope the Princess was right.
Rarity: She's gone!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no. Nightmare Moon!
Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh]
[theme song]
Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh]
Mayor Mare: Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!
Nightmare Moon: Stand back, you foals! [laughs]
[screaming]
Applejack: Ergh...
Rainbow Dash: Come back here! [pants] Nighttime? Forever? Where's she going?
Spike: Uh... We gotta stop Nightmare!...
Twilight Sparkle: You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon after all. Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?
Rainbow Dash: And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy? Whoa!
Applejack: Simmer down, Sally. She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's going on. Don't you, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!
Pinkie Pie: "The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide."
Twilight Sparkle: How did you find that?!
Pinkie Pie: [sing-song voice] It was under "E"!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now--
Everypony: The Everfree Forest!
[spooky music]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own.
Applejack: No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.
Everypony: [agreed hmph]
Pinkie Pie: Especially if there's candy apples in there. What? Those things are good.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: So, none of you have been in here before?
Rarity: Ugh, heavens no! Just look at it - it's dreadful.
Applejack: And it ain't natural. Folks say it don't work the same as Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: What's that supposed to mean?
Rainbow Dash: Nopony knows. You know why?
Applejack: Rainbow, quit it.
Rainbow Dash: 'cause everypony who's ever come in has never come out!
[crash]
[scream]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! Quick!
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.
Rarity: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Applejack: Hold on! I'm a-comin'!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! What do I do?
Applejack: Let go.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you crazy?
Applejack: No I ain't. I promise you'll be safe.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not true!
Applejack: Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe.
Twilight Sparkle: Yaaah! Phew-wah!
Fluttershy: Sorry girls. I'm not used to holding anything more than a bunny or two.
[animal roar]
Rainbow Dash: And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Rainbow, I was there, and I'm very grateful, but we gotta- [gasp] A manticore!
Manny Roar: [roar]
Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta get past him!
Rarity: Take that, you ruffian!
Manny Roar: [roar]
Rarity: My hair! Woop--
Fluttershy: Wait.
Manny Roar: [roar]
Applejack: YEE-HAW! Git along, little dogie.
Fluttershy: Wait.
Manny Roar: [roars]
Applejack: Whoa! All yours, partner.
Rainbow Dash: I'm on it.
Fluttershy: Wait!
Manny Roar: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!
Manny Roar: [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: [snorts]
Fluttershy: WAIT!
Manny Roar: [roar]
Fluttershy: Shhh... It's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby.
Rainbow Dash: Little?
Fluttershy: Now this might hurt for just a second.
Manny Roar: [roar]
Everypony: Fluttershy!
Manny Roar: [purrs]
Fluttershy: [giggles] Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are.
Twilight Sparkle: How did you know about the thorn?
Fluttershy: I didn't. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness.
Rarity: No. My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck. Well, I didn't mean that literally.
Twilight Sparkle: That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it.
Rarity: I didn't see you there, my apologies.
Rainbow Dash: Right here... guh...
Applejack: Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'.
Fluttershy: [scream]
Applejack: It's just mud.
[tree growls]
Applejack: Aah!
[trees growling]
[screams]
[screams]
Pinkie Pie: [laughter]
Everypony: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: [laughter] Bleh. Ooo! [funny noises] [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, what are you doing?! Run!
Pinkie Pie: Oh girls, don't you see?
[Pinkie Pie]
When I was a little filly and the sun was going down...
Twilight Sparkle: Tell me she's not...
[Pinkie Pie]
The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown...
Rarity: She is.
[Pinkie Pie]
I'd hide under my pillow
From what I thought I saw
But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way
To deal with fears at all
Rainbow Dash: Then what is?
[Pinkie Pie]
She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall
Learn to face your fears
You'll see that they can't hurt you
Just laugh to make them disappear."
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ponies: [gasp]
[Pinkie Pie]
So, giggle at the ghostly
Guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy
Chortle at the kooky
Snortle at the spooky
And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh...
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh!
[laughs]
Pinkie Pie: How are we gonna cross this?
[distant cry]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Steven Magnet: [sobbing] What a world, what a world.
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?
Steven Magnet: Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid. [wails]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, give me a break.
Applejack: That's what all the fuss is about?
Rarity: Why, of course it is. How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales.
Steven Magnet: [sniffs] I know.
Rarity: And your expertly coiffed mane.
Steven Magnet: Oh, I know, I know.
Rarity: Your fabulous manicure.
Steven Magnet: [gasp] It's so true!
Rarity: All ruined without your beautiful mustache.
Steven Magnet: It's true, I'm hideous!
Rarity: I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected.
Steven Magnet: [yelp] What did you do that for?
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, what are you-
Steven Magnet: [moans] Oh-hohohoho! My mustache. How wonderful.
Rarity: You look smashing.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rarity, your beautiful tail...
Rarity: Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back.
Rainbow Dash: So would the mustache.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] We can cross now. Let's go. Ah!
Steven Magnet: Allow me.
Twilight Sparkle: There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it!
Applejack: Twilight, wait for us!
Twilight Sparkle: We're almost there. Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: What's with you and falling off cliffs today?
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Now what?
Rainbow Dash: Duh.
Pinkie Pie: Oh yeah.
Shadowbolt Leader: Rainbow...
Rainbow Dash: Who's there?
Shadowbolt Leader: Rainbow...
Rainbow Dash: I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!
Shadowbolt Leader: We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Who?
Shadowbolt Leader: Why, you, of course.
Rainbow Dash: Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'cause I've been trying to get into that group for like, ever.
Shadowbolt Leader: No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, The Shadowbolts. We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent-
Rainbow Dash: Yep.
Shadowbolt Leader: Swiftest-
Rainbow Dash: Yes.
Shadowbolt Leader: Bravest flyer in all the land.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, [chuckle] it's all true.
Shadowbolt Leader: We need... you.
Rainbow Dash: WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal.
Shadowbolt Leader: No! It's them or us.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, what's taking so long? Oh no. Rainbow! Don't listen to them.
Shadowbolt Leader: Well?
Rainbow Dash: You... Thank you! For the offer, I mean, but I'm afraid I have to say no.
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa.
Applejack: Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?
Twilight Sparkle: The Elements of Harmony, we've found them. Careful, careful!
Pinkie Pie: One, two, three, four... There's only five!
Rainbow Dash: Where's the sixth?
Twilight Sparkle: The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.
Applejack: What in the hay is that supposed to mean?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen.
Applejack: Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate.
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
Everypony: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: The Elements!
[All five ponies talking over each other: Fluttershy: Twilight? Applejack: What? Rarity: Where did she go? Pinkie Pie: What happened? Rainbow Dash: What's going on?]
Applejack: Twilight, where are you?
Rarity: Look!
Applejack: Come on!
Twilight Sparkle: [coughs, gasps]
Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Hmph!
Nightmare Moon: You're kidding. You're kidding, right?
Twilight Sparkle: [groan] Just one spark. Come on, come on. Aah!
Nightmare Moon: No, no!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] But... where's the sixth Element?!
Nightmare Moon: [laughter] You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever! [evil laugh]
[All five ponies talking over each other: Pinkie Pie: Don't worry Twilight, we're here. Applejack: Don't worry, we'll be there.]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here.
Nightmare Moon: What?
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty! Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of... kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... laughter! Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of... generosity! And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of... loyalty! The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us.
Nightmare Moon: You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!
Twilight Sparkle: But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!
Nightmare Moon: Nooo! Nooo!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, my head.
Applejack: Everypony okay?
Rarity: Oh, thank goodness.
Fluttershy: Why Rarity, it's so lovely.
Rarity: I know! I'll never part with it again.
Fluttershy: No. Your necklace. It looks just like your cutie mark.
Rarity: What? Ooh. So does yours.
Fluttershy: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Look at mine! Look at mine!
Rainbow Dash: Aw yeah.
Applejack: Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.
Princess Celestia: Indeed you do.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.
Twilight Sparkle: But... you told me it was all an old pony tale.
Princess Celestia: I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!
Princess Luna: [gasp]
Princess Celestia: It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Sister?
Princess Celestia: Will you accept my friendship?
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
Princess Luna: I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!
Princess Celestia: I've missed you, too.
Pinkie Pie: [blows her nose] [sobs] Hey, you know what this calls for?
Pinkie Pie: A party!
[music and cheering ponies]
Princess Celestia: Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?
Twilight Sparkle: That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them.
Princess Celestia: Spike, take a note, please. I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville.
[ponies cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before.
[ponies cheer]
Pinkie Pie: Isn't this exciting? Are you excited cause I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I went [deep gasp] but I mean really-
[music]
[credits]

The Ticket Master

Spike: No. Nope. Nope... [continues in background]
Applejack: Thank you kindly, Twilight, for helping me out. I bet Big McIntosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down Stirrup Street in one of Granny's girdles. [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: No problem at all, Applejack. I'm glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry.
Spike: I know, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Puh-lease, Spike. You've been lounging on my back all morning while we worked.
Spike: Exactly. You two are taking so long, I missed snack-time.
Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles] [laughs nervously] Eh, I guess we better get some food.
Spike: Nope. Worm. A-ha!
Twilight Sparkle: [licks lips] Oh Spike, that looks delicious!
Spike: [munching]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike.
Spike: What? [burp]
Twilight Sparkle: It's a letter from Princess Celestia.
Spike: [clears throat] Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] The Grand Galloping Gala!
[theme song]
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: The Grand Galloping Gala! [cheering]
Spike: [burp] Look, two tickets.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, great! I've never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?
Spike: No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don't want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense.
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, come on Spike. A dance would be nice.
Applejack: Nice? It's a heap good more than just nice. I'd love to go. Land sakes...
Applejack: If I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin' our tasty vittles 'til the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin' up 'round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip.
Applejack: Why, I'd give my left hind leg to go to that gala.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well in that case, would you like to—
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [crash] Ugh. Are we talking about the Grand Galloping Gala?
Applejack: Rainbow Dash. You told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doing? Spyin'?
Rainbow Dash: No, I was busy napping, and I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but—
Rainbow Dash: YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at the Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now...
Rainbow Dash: Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on the Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash!
[audience gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut.
[audience cheers]
Rainbow Dash: Then, I would mesmerize 'em with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, the Buccaneer Blaze! The ponies would go wild!
[ponies go wild]
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their newest member.
Rainbow Dash: Don't you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me! [grunt]
Applejack: Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here. [spit] I asked for that ticket first.
Rainbow Dash: So? That doesn't mean you own it.
Applejack: Oh, yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrestle. Winner gets the ticket.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: Girls, these are my tickets, I'll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don't you think?
Applejack: Drummin' up business for the farm?
Rainbow Dash: A chance to audition for the Wonderbolts?
Applejack: Money t' fix Granny's hip.
Rainbow Dash: Living the dream.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, those were all pretty good reasons, aren't they? [stomach rumbles] [chuckles] Listen to that, I am starving. I don't know about you, but I can't make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I'll, uh, think about it over lunch and get back to you two, okay?
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Okay. [groan]
Spike: So, who you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know Spike, but I really can't think straight when I'm hungry, so where should we eat?
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Gah! Bats! Bats on my face! Help! Wait, these aren't... tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?!
Pinkie Pie: It's the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I've always always always wanted to go!
[Pinkie Pie]
Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
Hip hip
Hooray!
It's the best place for me
For Pinkie...
Pinkie Pie: With decorations like streamers and fairy-lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. With goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla. And I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like Pin the Tail on the Pony!
[Pinkie Pie]
Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
'Cause it's the most galarrific superly-terrific gala ever
In the whole galaxy
Wheee!!
Pinkie Pie: Oh thank you, Twilight, it's the most wonderful-est gift ever.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, actually—
Rarity: [gasp] Are these what I think they are?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh—
Pinkie Pie: Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot.
Rarity: The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him.
Pinkie Pie: Him! ... Who?
Rarity: Him.
Rarity: I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder, "Who is that mysterious mare?" They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, "Yes!" We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is [giggles] what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams.
Rarity: Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can... party, and prevent me from meeting my true love. How could you? Hmph.
Spike: Hey!
Fluttershy: [gasp] Angel, these are perfect.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, listen guys, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to.
Rarity and Pinkie Pie: You haven't?
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, I mean, if it would be all right, if you haven't given it to someone else...
Rarity: You? You want to go to the gala?
Fluttershy: Oh, no. I mean, yes, or, actually, kind of. You see...
Fluttershy: It's not so much the Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom... and that's just the flora! Don't get me started on the fauna. There's loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz. White-blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos!
Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Fluttershy, it sounds... beautiful...?
Rainbow Dash: Wait just a minute.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Were you following me?
Rainbow Dash: No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe. Look, it doesn't matter. I couldn't risk a goody-four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody.
Applejack: Wait just another minute.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, were you following me too?
Applejack: No. I was followin' this one to make sure she didn't try any funny business. Still trying to take mah ticket.
Rainbow Dash: Your ticket?
Pinkie Pie: But Twilight's taking me.
[ponies argue]
[ponies argue]
Twilight Sparkle: QUIET!
Pinkie Pie: And then I said, "Oatmeal, are you craz—" oh.
Twilight Sparkle: Girls, there's no use in arguing.
Rarity: But Twilight—
Twilight Sparkle: Eh! This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise... [stomach rumbles] not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo.
[ponies grumble]
Twilight Sparkle: And don't worry, I'll figure this out... somehow.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Spike, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy, Rarity... Oh, who should go with me? [stomach rumbles]
Savoir Fare: Have you made your decision?
Twilight Sparkle: I CAN'T DECIDE!
Spike: Twilight, he just wants to take your order.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich.
Spike: Do you have any rubies? No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you think, Spike?
Spike: I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?
Twilight Sparkle: I mean about the Gala and the ticket and who I should take.
Spike: Oh. You're still on that?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, listen. How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies. What if I—
Savoir Fare: Ah, your food.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat.
[ponies galloping]
Savoir Fare: Em, madam? Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?
Twilight Sparkle: It's not raining...
[thunderclap]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Rainbow Dash: Hi there, best friend forever I've ever ever had. Enjoying the sunny weather?
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?
Rainbow Dash: Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that's all.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?
Rainbow Dash: Me? No no no, of course not.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Rainbow Dash: Seriously, I'd do it for anypony. [gulp] Heh heh, eh.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine. [zip]
Twilight Sparkle: That's better. [groans]
Rarity: Twilight, it's raining.
Twilight Sparkle: No, really?
Rarity: Come with me before you catch a cold.
Twilight Sparkle: [shaking] Heh heh, oops, sorry.
Rarity: Oh no, it's quite all right. After all, we are... the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Rarity: Makeovers!
[crashing, construction noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, Rarity, ow, this really isn't fixing it. I mean, thank you but, ooh, that's too tight.
Rarity: There. Oh, you're simply darling.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it?
Rarity: And you. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent.
[more crashing, construction noises]
Spike: D-ah, ow, oh, hey, wow, watch it, whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Oh, Spike.
Rarity: Now you just need a hat.
Spike: Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk. See you back at the library.
Rarity: [laughs] Oh, who needs him anyway. This is all about you, and how fabulous you'll look at the Grand Galloping Gala.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, the Grand—
Rarity: [gasp] And oh, my goodness, what a coincidence. I happen to have an ensemble of my own that matches yours to a T. We would be the belles of the ball, you and I. Everyone would be clamoring for our attention. All eyes would be on us, and then everyone would finally know, the most beautiful, most talented, most sophisticated pony in all of Equestria is Rarity the unicorn. Ah, [nervous laughter] and Twilight Sparkle, of course.
Twilight Sparkle: I see what's going on. You're just buttering me up so I give you the extra ticket. Well it's not gonna work. You're going to have to wait for my decision just like everyone else. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been trying all day just to get some lunch.
Applejack: Did somepony say lunch?
Twilight Sparkle: You've got to be kidding me!
Applejack: I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumblers, and apple Brown Betty. Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?
Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles]
Applejack: Is that a yes?
Twilight Sparkle: No. No. I don't know who I'm giving the ticket to, and all these favors aren't making it any easier to decide. In fact, I'm less sure now than I was this morning. Ugh!
Applejack: So, that's a maybe?
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating.
Fluttershy: [humming]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Fluttershy, not you too?
Fluttershy: Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you.
Twilight Sparkle: It's summer.
Fluttershy: Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea.
Twilight Sparkle: You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?
Fluttershy: Oh no, I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right, Angel? Oh, yes, we are just doing this for the ticket.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no! Well, this was all very nice of you and Angel, but I'm not accepting any extra favors until I've made my final decision, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ponies: SURPRISE!
[trumpets blow]
[Pinkie Pie]
Twilight is my bestest friend
Whoopie, whoopie!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie...
[Pinkie Pie]
She's the cutest, smartest, all around best pony, pony!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie.
[Pinkie Pie]
I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
[Pinkie Pie]
She'll give her extra ticket to the Gala to me!
Twilight Sparkle: PIIINKIIIE!!
Pinkie Pie: Yes, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket.
Drizzle: Wait, what ticket? What gala?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, you didn't know? Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!
Ponies: [in unison] The Grand Galloping Gala?!
[offscreen: Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?]
[offscreen: I'll wash your dishes.]
Daisy: Would you like any help with your gardening?
Shoeshine: I have a cartload of extra carrots.
[offscreen: I'll paint your cart.]
[ponies offer favors]
Spike: What are we gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: We're... gonna... run!
[Benny Hill-esque music]
[ponies offer favors]
[offscreen: I'll do your taxes!]
[offscreen: Where is she? Where did she go? She's disappeared.]
Spike: Ugh... Warn me next time you're gonna do that.
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors!
[doors closing, lights clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: Phew. Yaaaargh! I can't decide, I just can't decide! It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference, because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!
Applejack: Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise.
Fluttershy: Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful.
Pinkie Pie: And me too. It's no fun upsetting your friends.
Rarity: Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did.
Rainbow Dash: Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, [sing-song voice] I got the ticket, I got the ticket—! You know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for the Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either.
Applejack: We all got so gun-ho about going to the gala that we couldn't see how un-gun-ho we were making you.
Rest of main cast: [in unison] We're sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, take down a note. Dear Princess Celestia,
I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Rest of main cast: [in unison] What?!
Twilight Sparkle: If my friends can't all go, I don't wanna go either.
Applejack: Twilight, you don't have to do that.
Twilight Sparkle: Nope. I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now.
Spike: [gasp]
Fluttershy: Now you won't get to go to the gala either.
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me...
Rest of main cast: [laughing, "awww"]
Twilight Sparkle: ...So I would rather not go at all.
Spike: Hgh... hgh... urk... urk...
Applejack: Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy? Can't handle the least bit of sentiment.
Spike: [burp]
Applejack: Whoa Nelly!
Twilight Sparkle: A letter from the princess? That was fast.
Spike: "My faithful student Twilight,
Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" Six tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Rest of main cast: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Now we can all go!
Rest of main cast: [cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: [stomach rumbles] [laughs nervously]
Rarity: Allow us to treat you to dinner.
Rainbow Dash: What a great way to apologize.
Pinkie Pie: And to celebrate! Come on everyone, the cupcakes are on me!
Spike: How come I don't get a ticket to the gala? Hurk! [burp] "And one for you, Spike." [giggles] I mean, gross, I have to go too? [continues giggling]
Applejack: [chuckles]
[music]
[credits]

Applebuck Season

Applejack: Boy howdy! I got my work cut out for me. That there is the biggest bumper crop o' apples I ever laid eyes on.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Too big for you to handle on your own.
Applejack: Come on, big brother! You need to rest up and get yourself better. I haven't met an apple orchard yet that I can't handle. Oops, sorry. I'll take a bite out of this job by day's end.
Big McIntosh: Biting off more than you can chew is just what I'm afraid of.
Applejack: Are you sayin' my mouth is makin' promises my legs can't keep?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Why of all the... This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalest of friends and the most dependable of ponies?
Big McIntosh: But still only one pony, and one pony plus hundreds o' apple trees just doesn't add up to...
Applejack: Don't you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue! I said I could handle this harvest and I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna get every last apple out of those trees this applebuck season all by myself. [gulps]
[theme song]
Applejack: Well I better get kickin'. These apples aren't gonna shake themselves outta the trees. Hey! Oh no.
Rainbow Dash: STAMPEDE!
[cows mooing]
[ponies panicking]
Sweetie Drops: Stampede!
[ponies panicking]
Pinkie Pie: [laughter] Hey...! [vibrating] This makes my voice sound silly!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, are you crazy?! Run!
Mayor Mare: Everypony calm down. There is no need to panic.
Rarity: But Mayor, whatever shall we do?
Rainbow Dash: Look there!
Applejack: YEEHAW!
[ponies cheer]
Applejack: Move aside, Winona. Put 'em up, girl!
Winona: [barking]
Rarity: [moan]
Pinkie Pie: This is the best rodeo show I've ever seen. [eats popcorn]
Applejack: Come on, little dogies! Turn! [whistle] Winona, put 'em up! Ha hah! Gotcha. [grunt]
Winona: [bark]
Applejack: Attagirl. [grunts] Yee haw!
[ponies cheer]
Applejack: Whoaaa. Hooie. Now what was that all about?
DaisyJo: [moo] [cough] Oh my! Begging your pardon, Applejack, but Moo-riella here saw one of those nasty snakes.
[cows startled]
DaisyJo: And it just gave us all the willies, don'tcha know.
Applejack: I completely understand. Just next time, try and steer clear of Ponyville.
DaisyJo: We certainly will, Applejack. So long, Winona!
[ponies cheer]
[crowd: Applejack!]
Applejack: Yee haw!
Pinkie Pie: Yee haw! Ride 'em, cowpony!
Mayor Mare: Applejack was just... just...
Pinkie Pie: Appletastic!
Mayor Mare: Exactly. We must do something to thank Applejack for single-hoofedly saving the town.
Pinkie Pie: I know.
Pinkie Pie: A party!
Twilight Sparkle: We all ready?
Rarity: Just one last thing. Now we're ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Is Applejack all set?
Rainbow Dash: Actually, I haven't seen her all week.
Pinkie Pie: Not since the stampede.
Rainbow Dash: But she'll be here for sure. Applejack is never late.
Twilight Sparkle: Welcome, everypony! Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great and small. A pony whose contributions to--
Rainbow Dash: Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete. This week she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. And...
Pinkie Pie: This week, I get to run Sugarcube Corner for the first time.
Twilight Sparkle: What does that have to do with Applejack?
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Applejack, one of the best bakers ever, is gonna help me. Applejack makes everything great, so free samples for everypony!
[ponies cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh-kay, that's great. Now if I could just make a point without being inter--
Fluttershy: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: --rupted.
Fluttershy: Twilight, I'm so sorry, but I just wanted to mention that Applejack is also helping me this week with the official bunny census, where we count up all the new baby bunnies that were born this season. She's gonna help gather them using her wonderful herding skills.
Twilight Sparkle: Anyone else? Anyone? No? Well then, as I was trying to say... Urgh! Never mind.
Mayor Mare: Ah-ahem. And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!
[crowd cheer]
Spike: Cool! Way to go Applejack, that was awesome! I mean-- heh.
Mayor Mare: Ah-ahem.
Spike: Awkward.
Applejack: I'm here. I'm here. [yawn] [sigh] Sorry I'm late--whoa--I was just... whoa... Did I get your tail? Miss Mayor. Thank you kindly for this here... award thingy. [yawn] It's so bright and shiny and, heh, heh heh, I sure do look funny heh. Ooo-ooo.
Pinkie Pie: Woo-ooo.
Applejack: Ooo-ooo.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Well, thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede, and always being there for everypony.
Applejack: [yawn] Yeah. I like helping the ponyfolks and [yawn] and stuff. [snore] Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, Thanks.
[sounds of dragging metal]
Twilight Sparkle: Was it just me, or did Applejack seem a little--
Rainbow Dash: Tired?
Fluttershy: Dizzy?
Rarity: Messy? Well, did you see her mane?
Pinkie Pie: She seemed fine to me. Woo! Woo!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm.
Applejack: [grunts] [sigh] Phew. [gasp] O-oah.
Twilight Sparkle: What on Earth is that pony doing?
Applejack: Whoops.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey Applejack!
Applejack: [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack.
Applejack: [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack. AppleJACK!
Applejack: Oh, howdy, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: What is all this?
Applejack: It's Applebuck season. Whoa.
Twilight Sparkle: Applewhat season?
Applejack: Neh, It's what the Apple family calls harvestin' time. We gather all the apples from the trees so we can sell 'em.
Twilight Sparkle: But why are you doing it all alone?
Applejack: 'cause Big McIntosh hurt himself.
Twilight Sparkle: What about all those relatives I've met when I first came to Ponyville? Can't they help?
Applejack: [sigh] They were just here for the Apple family reunion. They actually live all over Equestria and are busy harvestin' their own orchards. So, uh, I'm on my own. Which means, I should really get back to work. Ahem... hint hint? Get back to work?
Twilight Sparkle: Fine.
Applejack: Could you step aside, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I just did. Applejack, you don't look so good.
Applejack: Eh, don't any of you three worry none, I'm just fine and dandy. Whoa.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you... want some help?
Applejack: Help? No way, no how.
Twilight Sparkle: But there's no way you can do it all on your own.
Applejack: Is that a challenge?
Twilight Sparkle: Uhm... no?
Applejack: Well, I'm gonna prove to you that I can do it! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got apples to buck.
Rainbow Dash: There you are.
Applejack: [yawn] I'm a mite sorry, Rainbow. I was busy applebuckin' and I guess ah, I closed my eyes for a second and, when I woke up, I was late. Now, what's this new trick a' yours?
Rainbow Dash: See this contraption?
Applejack: Uh... Yeah.
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm gonna stand on one end, then you're gonna jump down from that platform, launching me into the air faster than I can take off on my own. Once I'm in the air, I'm gonna do some amazing flips and spins that are sure to impress the Wonderbolts.
Applejack: Isn't that a mite dangerous?
Rainbow Dash: Pfft, Heh, not for a pony who can fly.
Applejack: Well, all right-y then. Oh my.
Rainbow Dash: Ready? One... two... THREE!
Applejack: [crash]
Rainbow Dash: Umm... maybe I wasn't clear. You're supposed to land on the other end.
Applejack: Got it. [grunt] [grunt] [grunt]
Rainbow Dash: Applejack, what the hay is going on? I mean, I thought I was working with Ponyville's best athlete!
Applejack: You are. I'm okay. Really. I-I have an idea. Watch this. [groan] Ta da! Oh... Maybe not. Okay, one more try. I'm sure to get it this time.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Applejack: Heh heh... Here I go!
Rainbow Dash: Wait, Applejaaaaack!
Applejack: You're welcome!
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: Can I help you?
Rainbow Dash: I think somepony else needs your help.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack?
Rainbow Dash: Yep.
Applejack: Ow!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, can we talk? Applejack, can we talk?
Applejack: Can bees squawk?! I don't think so.
Twilight Sparkle: No. Can we talk?
Applejack: Twenty stalks? Bean or celery?
Twilight Sparkle: No! I need to talk to you.
Applejack: You need to walk to the zoo? Well, who's stoppin' you?
Twilight Sparkle: I need to talk to you!
Applejack: Oh! Well why didn't you say so? What you wanna talk about?
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash dropped in to see me today.
Applejack: That's quite neighborly of her.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, except that she crashed onto my balcony after you launched her into the air.
Applejack: Oh, yeah. I wasn't feeling quite myself this morning.
Twilight Sparkle: Because you're working too hard and you need help.
Applejack: What? Kelp? I don't need kelp. I don't even like seaweed.
Twilight Sparkle: HELP! You need HELP!
Applejack: Nothin' doin', Twilight. I'm gonna prove to you, t'everypony, that I can do this on my own. Ow! Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go help Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh.
Mrs. Cake: Now Pinkie Pie, are you sure you're up for baking the muffins and running the store this afternoon?
Pinkie Pie: Yes siree bob, Mrs. Cake. Plus, I have Ponyville's prized pony to help me out. Why, she's the best baker ever. Right, Applejack?
Mr. Cake: No? You're not the best baker ever?
Applejack: WHAT? Oh no! I mean, don't you fret. I can bake anything from fritters to pies in the blink of an eye.
Mrs. Cake: [sigh] All right. Well, see you later, girls!
Pinkie Pie: Stop with the shakin', it's time to get bakin'.
Pinkie Pie: All right-y! I'll get the sugar and the eggs. Can you get me some chocolate chips?
Applejack: Eh, uh, whu, what was that?
Pinkie Pie: Chocolate chips.
Applejack: Chips... got it. Tater chips, a little salty and dry, okie-dokie. What next?
Pinkie Pie: Baking soda.
Applejack: Soda. Perfect. That'll get the tater chips nice and wet. Now what?
Pinkie Pie: A cup of flour.
Applejack: A cup o' sour? Well, lemons are sure sour. One cup o' sour, comin' up. Anything else, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: One last thing. Wheat germ.
Applejack: Wheat worms? Oh, that must be fancy talk for earthworms.
Pinkie Pie: Now that's gonna be delicious.
Applejack: If you say so.
Pinkie Pie: Free muffin sample spectacular!
[ponies: mmm, muffins]
Applejack: Yeah! Muffin spectacles! Get 'em while they're hot.
Twilight Sparkle: We came as soon as we heard.
Nurse Redheart: Oh thank you, Twilight. We need all the help we can get.
[ponies moaning]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! What happened?
Spike: [sniff]
Nurse Redheart: It was a mishap with some of the baked goods.
Pinkie Pie: No, not baked goods, baked bads. [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack.
Spike: [chomp] Want one?
Applejack: [grunt] [snore] What? Huh? [grunt] [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, we need to talk.
Applejack: Wha, huh? Oh, it's you, Twilight. [yawn] I know what you're gonna say, but the answer is still no.
Twilight Sparkle: Not to upset your applecart, but you need help.
Applejack: Hardy har. [groan] And no I don't.
Twilight Sparkle: Here, let me help.
Applejack: Help? No thanks. [groan] A little more... [groan] Little... [grunt] There. I'll prove that this apple can handle these apples. Come on [grunt] apples [grunt] fall off [grunt].
Twilight Sparkle: AJ, think you're beating a dead... tree.
Applejack: I knew that.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Applejack, I had something else to talk to you about. I just came back from Ponyville Urgent Care and--
Applejack: You know, I'm a little busy to get lectured right now, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: But if you'd just let me help--
Applejack: Ugh. No, no, NO! How many times do I gotta say it? I don't need no help from nopony!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. That pony is stubborn as a mule.
[mule braying]
Twilight Sparkle: No offense.
Mule: None taken.
Fluttershy: Oh Applejack! Thank you so much for offering your herding skills for the annual rabbit roundup.
Applejack: Ugh. Why are we doin' this?
Fluttershy: Well, lots of new baby bunnies have been born, so it's my job to get a count of all the new families.
Applejack: Fine. Can we just get on with it?
Fluttershy: Certainly, but remember, these are bunnies we're dealing with, not cows. They're a timid bunch and need to be treated gently.
Applejack: I do NOT need any direction on corrallin' critters. Right, Winona?
Winona: [barks]
Fluttershy: Okay, little bunnies! I need you to all gather here in the middle.
Applejack: That's right! Let's go, bunnies. In the center. Hop to it. Swell. Just swell. Put 'em up, Winona!
Winona: [barks]
Fluttershy: Applejack! Winona! Stop! You're scaring them.
Applejack: We know what we're doin'. Get along, little bunnies.
Winona: [barks] [growls]
Fluttershy: Oh no.
Rainbow Dash: STAMPEDE!
Daisy: [yelps] Stampede!
[ponies scream]
[rabbits running]
Lily Valley: [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: [humming] [gasp]
Rose: The horror, the horror.
Lily Valley: It was awful.
Daisy: A disaster. A horrible, horrible disaster.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't get it.
Lily Valley: Our gardens, destroyed.
Rose: Every last flower, devoured.
Daisy: By... by... THEM!
Fluttershy: Oh my. Oh... Please stop, little bunnies. Oh no! Please, let's go home. Oh my goodness.
Twilight Sparkle: All right. Enough is enough.
Applejack: Must [gasp] keep [gasp] buckin'... just [gasp] a few [gasp] more. Must finish harvestin'.
Twilight Sparkle: All right, Applejack. Your applebucking hasn't just caused you problems, it's over-propelled Pegasus', practically poisoned plenty of ponies, and terrorized bushels of brand new bouncing baby bunnies. I don't care what you say, you. Need. Help.
Applejack: [grunts] Ha! No, I don't. Look, I did it. I harvested the entire Sweet Apple Acres without your help. How d'ya like them apples?
Big McIntosh: Um, how do you like them apples?
Applejack: [mumbling] Where'd all the apple...? [mumbling] [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack. Applejack.
Applejack: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good, you're okay. Now Applejack, I completely respect the Apple family ways. You're always there to help anypony in need, so maybe you can put a little of your stubborn pride aside and allow your friends to help you.
Applejack: Okay, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I am not taking "no" for an answer--what?
Applejack: Yes, Twilight. Yes, please. I could really use your help.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
My friend Applejack is the best friend a pony could ever have, and she's always there to help anypony. The only trouble is, when she needs help, she finds it hard to accept it, so while friendship is about giving of ourselves to friends, it's also about accepting what our friends have to offer.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Applejack: How about y'all take a little break? I got some fine apple juice waitin' for ya! [sigh] Girls, I can't thank you enough for this help. I was acting a bit stubborn.
Twilight Sparkle: A bit?
Applejack: Okay. A mite stubborn, and I'm awful sorry. Now, I know the town gave me the Prized Pony award, but the real award is having you five as my friends.
Rainbow Dash: Phew! That applebucking sure made me hungry.
Spike: And I've got the perfect treat.
Pinkie Pie: Eeew... Spike, I threw those all away. Where'd you get them?
Spike: From the trash.
Ponies: [in unison] EW!
Spike: Just a little nibble? Come on.
Ponies: Ew! Gross!
[music]
[credits]

Griffon the Brush Off

Pinkie Pie: Hoof-biting action overload! She was like a stunt superstar, flying higher and higher, and then Rainbow Dash swooped down--swoosh--and right before she hit the ground--shoom-she pulled up--vrrrmmm!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Pinkie Pie: And then she looped around and around like whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. Phew.
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Pinkie Pie? Not again.
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Not now, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: But, but Rainbow Dash–
Rainbow Dash: I'm in the middle of something.
Pinkie Pie: But–
Rainbow Dash: I said not now--[grunt]
Pinkie Pie: I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain.
Rainbow Dash: [grumble]
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: [humming] Hi, I'm looking for Rainbow Dash. Have you seen her? Hi there, have you seen Rainbow Dash? Okay, thanks anyway. Twilight, have you seen Rainbow Dash anywhere?
Twilight Sparkle: Isn't she right up there?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Rainbow Dash: Phew. That was close.
Pinkie Pie: Hi!
Rainbow Dash: Aah!
Rainbow Dash: [pants]
Pinkie Pie: Hi again.
Rainbow Dash: Aah!
Pinkie Pie: Pfeh. I need a favor, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Waaa--oh, forget it.
Pinkie Pie: I totally promise it'll be totally fun.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Over to the right. No no, a little to the left. Oh wait, back to the right. Now a little leftish while staying rightly. Stop. Hmm. Maybe a few inches to the south. Now a couple centimeters north. Okay. One more smidgimeter to the--
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I mean, perfect. Now wait for my signal.
Spike: [humming]
[thunder]
Spike: D-aah! [hiccups]
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] Oh Rainbow Dash, we startled Spike into getting the hiccups.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
Spike: [chuckles] Good one, Pinkie [hiccup] Pie. [hiccup] You're always pulling a fast one [hiccup] on me. [hiccup] Nnaa--
Pinkie Pie: Oh no, you're not hurt are you?
Spike: Ne--[hiccup]--eh, don't be [hiccup] silly, dragons are [hiccup] fire-proof.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, okay, good.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Spike: I wish the same thing [hiccup] were true with scrolls.
Princess Celestia: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Spike: [hiccups]
Pinkie Pie: Have you ever seen anything more hilarious? [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: I can think of one thing.
Pinkie Pie: Aah! [hiccup] [giggles] [hiccup] [chuckles] [hiccup] [laughs] [hiccup]
Rainbow Dash: I didn't take you for a prankster, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Are you [hiccup] kidding? [hiccup] I love to pull pranks. It's all [hiccup] in good fun, and Pinkie Pie lo--[hiccup]--oves to have [hiccup] fun! [hiccup]
Rainbow Dash: You know Pinkie Pie, you're not as annoying as I thought.
Pinkie Pie: [hiccup]
Rainbow Dash: You wanna hang out?
Pinkie Pie: [hiccup] That'd be [hiccup] I'd really [hiccup] When do [hiccup] I mean [hiccup] When would you [hiccup]
Rainbow Dash: A simple nod would do.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: Is she even home?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. This is gonna be gold.
Rainbow Dash: There she is.
Rarity: Ooo. [sneezes]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: Aaa-choo!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm?
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Applejack: [gasp] Land sakes!
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
[water splash]
Applejack: [chuckles]
[squeaky toy]
Pinkie Pie: Is someone over there? Who're we gonna squirt? Who're we gonna squirt?
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie: WHAT? [spits] Nononononono, we can't prank Fluttershy, I mean, she's so sensitive. It'll hurt her feelings, even our most harmless prank.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, you're right. [raspberry] Huh. We need another victim who's made of tougher stuff. So, who's it gonna be?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, [chuckles] I've got someone in mind. [chuckles] The toughest around.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, awesome. Who? Who? Do I know them?
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Oh, yes. [giggles] You're very close.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Good one, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Ridiculous.
Pinkie Pie: [blows party hooter] Rise and shine Rainbow Dash! It's a brand new day and we got a lot of pranking to-- Ooh.
Rainbow Dash: Mornin', Pinks. Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie.
Gilda: Hey. What's up?
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, this is my griffon friend, Gilda.
Pinkie Pie: What's a griffon?
Rainbow Dash: She's half-eagle, half-lion.
Gilda: And all awesome. Raa. Heh-haa. Yeah, that's right.
Rainbow Dash: Gilda's my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster flight camp. Hey, remember the chant?
Gilda: Sha, they made us recite it every morning, I'll never get that lame thing out of my head.
Rainbow Dash: Sooo...
Gilda: Ugh. Only for you, Dash.
[Rainbow Dash and Gilda]
Junior Speedsters are our lives,
Sky-bound soars and daring dives
Junior Speedsters, it's our quest,
To someday be the very best!
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Oh that was awesome, and it gave me a great idea for a prank. Gilda, you game?
Gilda: Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon. But Dash, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, uh, well, Pinkie Pie, you don't mind, do you? Gilda just got here. We'll catch up with you later.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Um, well sure, no problem. Have fun you guys, I'll, uh, just catch up with you-- [sigh] later. [blows party hooter very sadly]
Gilda and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Gilda: Whoa, that was sweet. Just like old times.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, only faster. So now what?
Pinkie Pie: Hey there.
Gilda and Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: It's later. And I caught up.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random.
Gilda: Hey Dash, think you got enough gas left to beat me to that cloud?
Rainbow Dash: A race? You are so on.
Gilda: One, two, three, go.
Pinkie Pie: Hey!
Rainbow Dash: I win.
Gilda: As if. I won, dude.
Rainbow Dash: No way.
Gilda: Yes way.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on, I was way ahead of you.
Gilda: Uh, I don't think so.
Rainbow Dash: Oh Geez, dream on.
Gilda: Remember back in camp? I–
Rainbow Dash: There is no way you beat me.
Gilda: Whatever.
Pinkie Pie: Wow guys, that was really close, but I think Rainbow Dash beat you by a teeny weeny itty bitty hair, or a teeny weeny itty bitty feather.
Rainbow Dash: Hah, see? Good thing Pinkie Pie's here to keep you honest, G.
Gilda: Okay... Dash, last one to that cloud up there is a gnarly dragon egg. Go! [To Pinkie Pie] I think the high altitude is making you dizzy.
Pinkie Pie: Wait, guys! Oh wow, you guys almost got away from me that time.
Gilda: So, Dash, got any new moves in your tricktionary, or are you 100% old school?
Rainbow Dash: New moves? Heh, sit back G, this is gonna take a while.
Gilda: Hey Pinkie, c'mere.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah?
Gilda: Don't you know how to take get lost for an answer? Dash doesn't need to hang with a dweeb like you now that I'm around. You're dorkin' up the skies, Stinkie Pie, so make like a bee and BUZZ OFF.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] Whaaa-aaa–
Rainbow Dash: Try matching that. Hey, where's Pinkie Pie and her crazy contraption?
Gilda: Eh, she left. Something about being as busy as a bee.
Pinkie Pie: Hmph!
Twilight Sparkle: So Pinkie Pie, are you sure that this friend of Rainbow Dash is really so mean?
Pinkie Pie: Um, yeah. She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she pops my balloons, and she told me to buzz off. I've never met a griffon this mean. Well, actually, I've never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn't have been as mean and grumpy as Gilda.
Twilight Sparkle: You know what I think, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I think... you're jealous.
Pinkie Pie: Jealous?
Spike: Green with envy. Well, in your case, pink with envy.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, yes. Jealous. Listen Pinkie, I don't want to upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn't make Gilda a grump. I mean, perhaps it's you, Pinkie, who needs to improve her attitude.
Pinkie Pie: Improve my attitude? But I... D... B.. It's Gilda that... D... Are you seri... [scream of frustration]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Pinkie Pie: Maybe Twilight is right. Maybe Gilda isn't a big meanie grumpy mean-meanie-pants. Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous-jealousy-pants. [sigh]
Pinkie Pie: [sips]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] That was sweet. Ugh, I gotta take care of a few weather jobs around here. Shouldn't take long. Just, uh, hang out in town and I'll come find ya.
Gilda: That's cool, I guess. I'm gonna go chow down.
Rainbow Dash: Later.
Granny Smith: [sniffs] Aaah! A rattler, a rattler! Run for the hills! Everybody forsake yourselves!
Gilda: This stuff ain't fresh, dude.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, poor Granny Smith, she didn't know it was a joke. How mean. No, no, I can't misjudge her. It was kind of a funny prank, I guess.
Gilda: [chews]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] I did misjudge her. She's not only a meanie mean-pants, she's also a thief. Nonononono, she might give it back. It's just a joke.
Fluttershy: All right little ones, this way, this way. Mama duck, you're free and clear.
Gilda: Hey.
Fluttershy: Please excuse me.
Gilda: I'm walkin' here.
Fluttershy: Oh, um, I'm sorry. I-I-I was just trying to...
Gilda: [mocking] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus?
Fluttershy: B-b-b-but I... I...
Gilda: [breathes in, roars]
Fluttershy: [bleat] [sobs]
Gilda: Ugh, please, all these lame ponies are driving me buggy. I gotta bail.
Pinkie Pie: She's a grump, and a thief, and a bully. The meanest kind of mean meanie-pants there is. I can take it, but no one treats Fluttershy like that. No. One. This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style.
Pinkie Pie: Welcome, welcome. Welcome!
Applejack: Who's this Gilda I've heard nothing about?
Rarity: I hear she's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. A griffon, so rare.
Twilight Sparkle: You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?
Fluttershy: Oh, um, well, I'll tell you later, Twilight.
Pinkie Pie: Welcome. Welcome.
Fluttershy: Um, Pinkie Pie, about this party for Gilda. Umm... Do you really think it's a good idea? I mean–
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda. Your auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of.
Fluttershy: I'm a year older than you.
Pinkie Pie: Gilda! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely, hope you feel welcome here amongst all us pony folk.
Gilda: [grunt]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
[laughter]
Rainbow Dash: Oh Pinkie Pie, the old hoof-shake buzzer. You are a scream.
Gilda: Yeah [chuckles nervously] uh, good one, Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash: Come on G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends.
Gilda: Right behind you Dash. I know what you're up to.
Pinkie Pie: Great.
Gilda: Rrrh. I know what you're planning.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Well, I hope so. This wasn't supposed to be a surprise party.
Gilda: I mean, I've got my eye on you.
Pinkie Pie: And I got my eye on you. Everyone, I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long-time, dear friend of Rainbow Dash. Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville.
[ponies cheer]
Pinkie Pie: Please help yourself.
Gilda: Vanilla lemon drops. Don't mind if I do. HOT!
Rainbow Dash: G, the punch.
Gilda: [gasp] [gulp] Huh?
[laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Well, whaddya know, pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass.
Rainbow Dash: Ha. Priceless. Priceless. [laughs]
Gilda: [gulp] [gasp] Yeah, hilarious.
Rainbow Dash: Hey G, look, presents.
[laughter]
Applejack: Spittin' snakes. Hah, somepony pulled that prank on me last month.
Gilda: Ha ha. I bet I know who that was.
Pinkie Pie: You do?
[ponies chatter, birds singing]
Pinkie Pie: Cake time everypony.
Spike: Hey, can I blow out the candles?
Twilight Sparkle: Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She is the guest of honor after all.
Spike: Ugh.
Gilda: Exactly. [gasp] [blow] [gasp] [blow]
[laughter]
Gilda: [continued gasping and blowing]
Spike: [laughs] Re-lighting birthday candles, I love that prank. What a classic.
Pinkie Pie: Now, I wonder who could've done that.
Gilda: Yeah, I wonder.
Spike: Mmm, who cares. This cake is amazing.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike.
Spike: What? It's great, try some.
Rainbow Dash: Hey G, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you?
Gilda: No way, Dash. Like I said, I'm down with a good prank.
Rainbow Dash: Come on then, let's have some cake.
Gilda: Hey, I'm watching you. Like a hawk.
Pinkie Pie: Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?
Applejack: Hey y'all, it's pin the tail on the pony. Let's play.
Rarity: Oh, my favorite game. Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?
Gilda: Well, I am the guest of honor, and I'll have the purple tail.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, Gilda should definitely go first. Let's get you blindfolded.
Gilda: Hey what-- ugh-- what are you doing? Rrrah.
Pinkie Pie: We're spinning you around and around and then you can pin the tail on the pony. Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail.
Gilda: [mockingly] Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail. Hmph, yeah, right. This is another prank, isn't it? I'm going this way.
Pinkie Pie: Wait. The poster is this--
Gilda: Whoa whaa waah waah waaaaah [groan]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, Gilda? You pinned the tail on the wrong end.
[ponies laugh]
Gilda: [roar] This is your idea of a good time? I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life. And Pinkie Pie, you! You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks. Did you really think you could make me lose my cool? Well, Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together. Come on Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene. Come on Rainbow Dash. I said, we're leaving.
Rainbow Dash: You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those weak pranks at this party.
Gilda: [gasp] What?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh.
Rainbow Dash: So I guess I'm queen lame-o.
Gilda: Come on, Dash, you're joshing me.
Rainbow Dash: They weren't all meant for you specifically, it was just dumb luck that you set them all off.
Pinkie Pie: I shoulda known, that dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it.
Gilda: No way. It was Pinkie Pie. She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me.
Pinkie Pie: Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude. I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down.
Rainbow Dash: And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new cool friends someplace else.
Gilda: Rrgh. Yeah? Well you, you, you are such a, a flip-flop: cool one minute and lame the next. When you decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call. [bird of prey shriek]
Rainbow Dash: Not cool.
Spike: Wow, talk about a party pooper.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, what was that about?
[ponies talking indistinctly]
Merry May: Um, what just happened?
Pony: Really awkward.
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry everypony, for bringing Gilda here. I didn't know how rude she was. And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, if you want to hang out with party poopers, that's your business.
Rainbow Dash: I'd rather hang out with you. No hard feelings?
Pinkie Pie: No hard feelings.
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey Pinkie. Sorry I accused you of misjudging Gilda. Looks like I'm the one who misjudged you.
Pinkie Pie: It's okay Twilight, even you can't be a super smart smarty smart-pants all the time. Come on everypony, there's still a whole lotta party to finish.
[ponies cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Dearest Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice. Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior. Just continue to be a good friend. In the end, the difference between a false friend and one who's true will surely come to light.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Princess Celestia: Dear Twilight Sparkle,
My most faithful student... Oh! Heh, wrong ink. [sigh] [chuckles]
[music]
[credits]

Boast Busters

Spike: Come on, Twilight. You can do it!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here goes.
[magical chime]
Spike: Ha ha! Ya did it! Growing magic, that's number twenty-five. Twenty-five different types of tricks and counting. And I think this is the best trick so far. Hello, Rarity. What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my awesome mustache. [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice, and it's gotta go.
Spike: Wait! Aw, rats!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughter]
[theme song]
Spike: Twenty-five, Twilight. Twenty-five different kinds of tricks and counting. I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talents!
Twilight Sparkle: True, for ponies whose talents are for things like cooking or singing or math. But what if a unicorn's special talent is magic?
Spike: Like you, Twilight, and you know a ton of magic.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me.
Spike: Are you kiddin'? I don't think there's another unicorn in all of Equestria with your kind of ability, Twilight.
Snails: Gangway! Comin' through!
Spike: Augh! Snips, Snails! What's goin' on?
Snails: Wha, haven't you heard?
Spike: Whoa!
Snails: There's a new unicorn in town!
Snips: Yeah! They say that she's got more magical powers than any other unicorn ever!
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Spike: Aw, no way, that honor goes to Twilight here.
Twilight Sparkle: Where is this unicorn?
Snails: Ho, she's in the town square. Come on!
Snips: Yeah! [laughter] Come on! Whooo!
Trixie: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
Audience: Ooh!
Trixie: Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!
[fireworks and fanfare]
Rarity: My, my, my! What boasting!
Spike: Come on, nopony's as magical as Twi— Twi— Twi— Oh! [clears throat] Hey, Rarity, I, uh— Mustache!
Twilight Sparkle: There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there?
Applejack: Nothin' at all, 'cep'n when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons.
Rarity: Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us.
Rainbow Dash: Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us. [laughter] Eh, I mean, yeah, uh, magic shmagic. Boo!
Trixie: Well, well, well, it seems we have some neighsayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?
Rarity: [raspberry] Just who does she think she is?
Spike: Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is—
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Shhh!
Spike: What? What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: You see the way they reacted to Trixie? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a show-off.
[fanfare]
Rainbow Dash: So, "Great and Powerful Trixie". What makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?
Trixie: Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded ursa major!
[fanfare, fireworks]
Audience: Ahh!
Snips: What?
Snails: No way!
Trixie: When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the ursa major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!
Snips and Snails: Saw, sweet!
Snips: That settles it.
Snails: Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awesome unicorn in Ponyville.
Snips: No, in all of Equestria!
Spike: How do you know? You didn't see it! And besides, Twi— [zip!] Mmph! M-mmph!
Trixie: [laughter] It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville.
[crickets]
Trixie: Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie? [chuckles] Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians. Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?
[fireworks and fanfare]
Spike: [zip] Please! She's unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta! [cries]
Twilight Sparkle: There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike. Especially since—
Trixie: Hmm, how about you?
Twilight Sparkle: [gulps]
[music]
Trixie: Well, how about it? Hm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?
Twilight Sparkle: I— I—
Trixie: Well, little hayseed?
Applejack: That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!
Spike: You show her, AJ!
Applejack: Can your magical powers do this?
[banjo music]
Audience: Whooo! [cheers]
Applejack: Top that, missy.
Trixie: Oh ye of little talent. Watch and be amazed at the magic of Trixie!
[snake charmer music]
Applejack: Whoa! Uh!
Audience: [laughter and cheers]
Trixie: Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails.
Rainbow Dash: There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that.
Trixie: Oh?
Rainbow Dash: That's my job!
[electric guitar music]
Rainbow Dash: They don't call me "Rainbow" and "Dash" for nothin'!
Audience: [cheers]
Trixie: When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is loser.
[rapid music]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-a-a-a! [gulp] I think I'm [gulp] gonna be sick.
Trixie: Seems like anypony with a dash of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie.
[thunder]
Rainbow Dash: Ow!
[laughter]
Spike: What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss.
Applejack: A real unicorn to unicorn tussle.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Rarity: Enough. Enough, all of you. I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace.
Trixie: Ooo, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?
Rarity: Oh, it. Is. On! You may think you're tough with all of your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A unicorn needs to have style.
Audience: Ooh!
Rarity: A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty.
Spike: Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she's beautiful, she's—
Audience: [gasps]
Rarity: Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing.
Rainbow Dash: It's fine.
Applejack: It's gorgeous.
Spike: It's green. What?
Rarity: Ugh, no. Green hair! Not green hair! [cries] Such an awful, awful color! [cries]
Golden Harvest: Well, I never!
Spike: Well Twilight, guess it's up to you. Come on, show her what you're made of.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean? I'm nothing special.
Spike: Yes, you are! You're better than her!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not better than anyone.
Trixie: Hah! You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent? Well, come on, show Trixie what you've got. Show us all.
Twilight Sparkle: Who, me? I'm just your run-of-the-mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go.
Spike: Twilight?
Trixie: Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Huh, was there ever any doubt?
Snips: Here's your smoothie you asked for, with extra hay, just how you like it.
Snails: Mmm, hay.
Trixie: [sips] Yes?
Snips: Ooo, tell us another story, Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snails: Yeah, tell us about how you vanquished the ursa major.
Trixie: Guh! Trixie is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination. Begone with you until morning.
Snails: Oh, of course, Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snips: Anything you say. We are at your beck and call.
Trixie: Ah.
Spike: What are you two doin'?
Snips: Just bringin' the Gee an' Pee Tee a—
Spike: The what?
Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie.
Spike: Sheesh.
Snips: Just bringin' her a smoothie.
Spike: How can you fall for her lameness? She's just a show-off. Unlike Twilight, who—
Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an ursa major. Can your Twilight claim that?
Spike: Oh really? Were you guys actually there?
Snips: Well, eh, uh... no, but—
Spike: But nothin'. The proof is in the pudding.
Snails: [laughs] I like pudding.
Spike: Look, unless an ursa major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I am not gonna believe a word she says, and neither should you!
Snips: Hm, an ursa walkin' up the street, hey? Snails! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Snails: Why is it they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas?
Snips: Yeah, uh... oh, come on!
Spike: Twilight, would you put down that book and just listen to me?
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't you see how they hated Trixie's bragging, Spike? If I go out there and show off my magic, I run the risk of losing them as friends.
Spike: It's not the same thing, Twilight. You'll be using your magic to stand up for your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike, it's exactly the same.
Spike: Come on, Twilight, any one of these tricks, even the teeniest, would be enough to show up Trixie.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want to be seen as a bragger like Trixie.
[door slam, door open]
Spike: But you're the best!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Please, Spike, I said no!
Spike: [sighs] If that's the way you want to be, then fine.
[door slam, door open]
[spooky music and sounds]
Snips: Oh, how we gonna find an ursa major when I can't even see my own hoof in front of my face?
Snails: Hold on. [grunts]
Snips: Oh, heh. That's better.
[growl]
Snails: Yaaaah!
Snips: Yaaaah!
Ursa: [roar]
Snips: [screaming]
Spike: Hey, guys, where ya goin'?
Snails: [breathing hard]
Snips: Can't talk now.
Snails: Got a major problem!
Snips: Yeah, ursa major, to be exact.
[roar]
Spike: Huh?
Ursa: [roar]
Snips and Snails: Trixie!
Spike: Twilight!
[banging on door]
Snips and Snails: Trixie! [mingled speech]
Trixie: Trixie thought she said the Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!
Snips: [nervous laughter] We— We have a— a tiny problem.
Snails: Actually, it's a big one.
Trixie: What is so important that you cannot wait until morning to disturb Trixie?
[roar]
Ursa: [roar]
Trixie: [screams]
Snips and Snails: [screams]
Ursa: [roar]
Spike: Twilight! You've gotta come! Quick!
Twilight Sparkle: I already told you, Spike, I don't wanna show up Trixie!
Spike: No, you don't understand, it's—
[roar]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, is that what I think it is?
Spike: Majorly.
Snips: Great and Powerful Trixie, you've got to vanquish the ursa.
Snails: Yeah, vanquish so we can watch.
Snips: It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here.
Trixie: Wait, you brought this here? [gasp] Are you out of your little pony minds?
Snips: But, you're the Great and Powerful Trixie.
Snails: Yeah, remember? You defeated an ursa major.
Ursa: [roar]
Trixie: Uh, okay. [gulp] Stand back.
[snake charmer music]
Trixie: Heh. Piece of cake.
[growls, snap]
Snips: Aw, come on, Trixie.
Snails: Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh?
Trixie: [gasp, gulp]
Snails: Well, that was a dud.
Snips: Yeah, pfft, come on! Where's all the cool explosions and smoke and stuff like earlier? You know.
[crackle]
Trixie: Uh-oh.
Ursa: [roar]
Snips, Snails, and Trixie: [screams]
Ursa: [roar]
[ponies gasp]
Ursa: [roar]
[crash]
[ponies crying in fear]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Snips: We brought an ursa to town.
Twilight Sparkle: You what!?!
Snails: Don't worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it.
Trixie: I can't.
Snips and Snails: What!?
Trixie: Oh, I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an ursa major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better.
Snips and Snails: Made it up!?
Ursa: [growl] [roar]
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
Ursa: [growl]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[wind]
[music from broken cattails]
Ursa: [growl] [grunt] [guttural sigh]
Spike: Nice use of number sixteen.
[metallic sounds]
[water flowing]
[milking sounds and moos]
Unidentified cow: Golly, dont'cha know?
Spike: That's new.
[metallic clank]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Ursa: [sucking]
[cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Unbelievable!
Spike: That was amazing!
Applejack: Heavens to Betsy! We knew you had ability, but not that much!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry. Please, please don't hate me.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: Hate you?
Rarity: Why, whatever do you mean, darling?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie's showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought--
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth.
Rarity: Most unpleasant.
Applejack: All hat and no cattle.
Twilight Sparkle: So, you don't mind my magic tricks?
Applejack: Your magic is a part of who you are, sugarcube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend.
Rainbow Dash: And after whuppin' that ursa's hindquarters, we're even prouder.
Twilight Sparkle: You are?
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh.
Applejack: Mm-hmm.
Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Spike: Wow, Twilight, how'd you know what to do with that ursa major?
Twilight Sparkle: That's what I was doing when you came looking for me. I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them.
Spike: So it is possible to vanquish an ursa major all by yourself?
Twilight Sparkle: That wasn't an ursa major. It was a baby, an ursa minor.
Trixie: That was just a baby?
Twilight Sparkle: And it wasn't rampaging. It was just cranky because someone woke it up.
Snips and Snails: Awww...
Spike: Well, if that was an ursa minor, then what's an ursa major like?
Twilight Sparkle: You don't wanna know.
Trixie: Huh. You may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
[retreating hoofbeats]
Rainbow Dash: Why, that little...
Twilight Sparkle: Just let her go. Maybe someday she'll learn her lesson. Now, about you two.
Snips: Ah [nervous laughter]. Uh, we're sorry that we woke up the ursa minor.
Snails: We just wanted to see some awesome magic.
Snips: Yeah! And the way you vanquished that ursa minor was awesome!
Snails: We deserve whatever punishment you give us.
Twilight Sparkle: For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty five?
Spike: Oh, twenty five! Yes! And I think I deserve it, too.
Snips and Snails: Heah?
Twilight Sparkle: I think you're right.
Snips, Snails, and Spike: Sweet!
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship: I was so afraid of being thought of as a show-off that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off... Especially when you're standing up for your friends.
Spike: So, you finally admit that you're the most talented unicorn in all of Ponyville?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah, but it's nothing to brag about. So, uh, how did it go with Rarity?
Spike: Eh, she didn't go for the mustache.
Twilight Sparkle: You know, Spike, that mustache has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself.
Spike: Or... Maybe the mustache wasn't enough. Maybe if I had a mustache and a beard?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, not this again!
Spike: Okay, imagine me with a nice, long, Fu Manchu type beard. Or maybe a goatee. Oh, no, a soul patch right on my chin!
[music]
[credits]

Dragonshy

Fluttershy: [spits] Not too fast now, Angel Bunny. You don't wanna get a tummy ache. [chuckles] You really should eat more than that, don't you think? It's not play time yet. I know you want to run, but... just three more bites. Two more bites? One more bite? Pretty please? [sighs]
Angel: [coughs]
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness. Are you okay?
Angel: [coughs]
Fluttershy: Are you coughing because there's a carrot stuck in your throat?
Angel: [coughs]
Fluttershy: Because you need some water?
Angel: [coughs loudly]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Because of that giant cloud of scary black smoke? I'll take that as a... yes.
[theme song]
[ponies conversing in the background]
Fluttershy: Help. Help! Please? Help? There's- there's a horrible cloud of smoke. It's headed this way and- [shrieks]
Rainbow Dash: Don't be such a scaredy-pony. It's just me, future Equestria ball-bouncing record holder. Three forty six, three forty seven...
Pinkie Pie: This calls for a celebration!
Fluttershy: Oh, no, Pinkie Pie, this is no time for celebration. This is a time for panic, for-
Pinkie Pie: Ooo! I'm going to need balloons! One for every pony in Ponyville!
Fluttershy: There's- there's smoke. And- and where there's smoke, there's fire. And-
Pinkie Pie: Let's see, that's one, two, three, four...
Rainbow Dash: Three hundred fifty four...
Pinkie Pie: Five, six...
Rainbow Dash: Three hundred fifty five, no, wait...
Pinkie Pie: Seven.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie! Now I have to start over.
Fluttershy: We're all going to have to start over, in a new village. 'Cause ours is gonna be-
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow Dash, wait up!
Fluttershy: Oh, please, this is an emergency. I-I need everypony to-
Twilight Sparkle: Listen up! Smoke is spreading over all of Equestria.
Ponies: What? Oh no! That's awful!
Fluttershy: That's what I've been trying to-
Twilight Sparkle: But don't worry, I've just received a letter from Princess Celestia informing me that it is not coming from a fire.
Fluttershy: Oh, thank goodness.
Twilight Sparkle: It's coming from a dragon.
Ponies: [gasp]
Fluttershy: A... d-dragon?
Applejack: What in the name of all things cinnamon swirled is a full-grown dragon doing here in Equestria?
Twilight Sparkle: Sleeping.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: According to Princess Celestia, he's taking a nap. His snoring is what's causing all this smoke.
Pinkie Pie: He should really see a doctor. That doesn't sound healthy at all.
Rarity: Well, at least he's not snoring fire. What are we meant to do about it?
Rainbow Dash: I'll tell you what we're meant to do. Give him the boot. Take that. And that!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: We need to encourage him to take a nap somewhere else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and we must not fail. If we do, Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next one hundred years.
Fluttershy: [gasp]
Rarity: Hmph. Talk about getting your beauty sleep.
Twilight Sparkle: All right everypony, I need you to gather supplies quickly. We've got a long journey ahead of us. Let's meet back here in less than an hour.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, girls, you heard her. The fate of Equestria is in our hooves. Do we have what it takes?
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: [affirmations]
Fluttershy: Um, actually...
Rainbow Dash: Raaah!
Applejack: Yaaa!
[pop whistles]
Pinkie Pie: [laughter] Oh, I mean, grrr!
Rarity: Ewww! Much better. Onward!
Fluttershy: [squeak]
Applejack: Let's go!
Fluttershy: Um, let's... not? [squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: All right girls, listen up. I'm mapping out the fastest route, but we've all got to keep a good pace if we expect to make it up the mountain by nightfall.
Fluttershy: M-m-mountain?
Twilight Sparkle: The dragon is in that cave at the very top.
Applejack: Looks pretty cold up there.
Rainbow Dash: You bet it is. The higher you go, the chillier it gets.
Rarity: Good thing I brought my scarf.
Pinkie Pie: Ooo! Pretty!
Rainbow Dash: Heh, oh yeah. That'll keep you nice and cozy.
Fluttershy: [gulp] Um, excuse me, Twilight? I know you're busy, but...
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. Well, we could go this way.
Fluttershy: But if I could just have a second...
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. No, we want to avoid that.
Fluttershy: So, um, I was thinking that, um, maybe I should just stay here in Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Fluttershy: Oh! Good. I'll stay here and-
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! You have to come! Your way with wild animals will surely come in handy.
Fluttershy: I don't think I-
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, and don't worry about your little friends in the meadow. Spike's got it covered while you're gone.
Spike: You can count on me! Oooh! Hey! Hey! Wait!
Fluttershy: I don't really think he's up to the task. Maybe... but... but... [squeak]
Rainbow Dash: Are you sure you want Fluttershy to come along? I mean, that pony's afraid of her own shadow. She's just going to slow us down.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's just a little nervous. Once we get going, I'm sure she'll be fine.
Fluttershy: [squeal]
Twilight Sparkle: All right girls, move out!
Fluttershy: But... but...! [scream]
[dragon snore]
Fluttershy: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. What was that?
Twilight Sparkle: That is what it sounds like when a dragon snores.
Fluttershy: It- it's so... high!
Rainbow Dash: Well, it is a mountain. I'm going to fly up there and check it out! Wah!
Applejack: Hold on, now. I think we should all go up together. Safety in numbers and all.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, all right.
Rarity: I hear the only thing that sparkles more than a dragon's scales are the jewels they use to build their nests. Ooo, if I play my cards right, I might be able to convince him to part with a few!
Pinkie Pie: [imitating a dragon] Welcome to my cave, Rarity. Care for a diamond? [roar]
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Girls! This is no laughing matter! Fluttershy, you're the expert on wild creatures. What do you think the dragon will be like? Fluttershy?
Rainbow Dash: Hey! What are you waiting for? An invitation?
Pinkie Pie: Ooo, I think I have one in my bag!
[pop whistles]
[cheering SFX]
Fluttershy: I-it's so... so... steep.
Rainbow Dash: Well, it is a cliff. You could just, oh, I don't know, fly up here?
Pinkie Pie: Come on, Fluttershy, you can do it. Flap those wings!
Fluttershy: Oh... okay. [soft cry]
[dragon snore]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Fluttershy: [soft grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, we don't have time for this. What are you doing?
Applejack: I'll need this if I'm going to take her around the mountain another way.
Rainbow Dash: [groan] Around the mountain? That's going to take them forever.
Fluttershy: [squeals]
[dragon snore]
[goat bleat]
Applejack: Don't worry, Twi. We'll be there lickety-split.
Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo! I win again!
Rarity: Ugh. That's thirty-five games in a row. Best of seventy-one?
Applejack: [panting] We. Made. It. [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Told you it was going to take them forever.
Fluttershy: [gulp]
Twilight Sparkle: Your turn, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: But... it's so... wide.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Fluttershy, we should be much farther along by now.
Applejack: You could just leap on over.
Fluttershy: I-
[dragon snore]
Fluttershy: I don't know.
Pinkie Pie: There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a hop, skip and a jump. See?


[Pinkie Pie]
It's not very far
Just move your little rump
You can make it if you try with a hop, skip and jump
Twilight Sparkle: We don't have time for this.
[Pinkie Pie]
A hop, skip and jump,
Just move your little rump,
A hop, skip and jump,
A hop, skip and jump,
A hop, skip and jump,
A hop skip and jump,
A hop skip and jump!
Fluttershy: O-okay. Here I go. A hop.
Applejack: That's it.
Twilight Sparkle: You've got it.
Rarity: Almost there.
Fluttershy: Skip.
Twilight Sparkle: Just don't look down.
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Fluttershy: I guess I forgot to jump.
Twilight Sparkle: [whispers] Let's keep it down. According to my map, we're entering an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a huge rock slide.
Fluttershy: An... an ava... ava...
Twilight Sparkle: Shhh!
Fluttershy: AVALA-!
[collective sigh]
[rumble]
All ponies: Avalanche! [cries]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! Help! Ooh!
[coughing]
Applejack: Oh my! [stops coughing] Everypony okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks to you I am.
Rarity: Eugh. Blech.
Pinkie Pie: Whoo-hoo! Let's do it again!
Rarity: Uh! This is why a girl always packs extra accessories. Oh, please tell me I brought the tiara that goes with this.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, think we got bigger problems than making sure our hair bows match our horseshoes.
Fluttershy: [sigh] Sorry.
Applejack: Aw, no big whoop, sugarcube.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, we'll just have to [sigh] climb over.
[grunts]
Fluttershy: [sigh] [whimpers]
Rarity: [cry]
Applejack: Wha! Wha...
Rarity: My apologies.
Rainbow Dash: Not your fault.
Fluttershy: [whimper]
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] Still think it was a good idea to bring Fluttershy along?
Twilight Sparkle: We're about to find out. We're here.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, you'll use your wings to clear the smoke.
Rainbow Dash: Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there.
[squeaky toy]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack. But it shouldn't come to that, because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between the two of us, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go. Is everypony ready?
[affirmatives]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay then, we're goin' in. So, what is the best way to wake up a sleeping dragon without upsetting him? Fluttershy? Oh, come on! Come on! [grunt] We have to do this! [grunt] Now! Every [grunts] second longer that dragon [grunts] sleeps is another [grunts] acre of Equestria that is covered in [grunts] smoke. Ooh!
Pinkie Pie: [laugh]
Fluttershy: I- I- I can't go in the cave.
Ponies: Ugh. [crash]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, great. She's scared of caves now, too.
Fluttershy: I'm not scared of caves, I'm scared of [mumble].
Applejack: What's that, sugarcube?
Fluttershy: I'm scared of [mumble].
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Fluttershy: I'm scared of dragons!
[dragon snore]
Fluttershy: [squeal]
[coughing]
Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy. You have a wonderful talent dealing with all kinds of animals.
Fluttershy: Yes, because they're not dragons.
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on! We've seen you walk right up to a horrible manticore like it was nothing.
Fluttershy: Yes, because he wasn't a dragon.
Pinkie Pie: Spike is a dragon. You're not scared of him.
Fluttershy: Yes, because he's not a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, totally all grown-up dragon!
[dragon snore]
Fluttershy: [whimper]
Twilight Sparkle: But, if you're so afraid of dragons, why didn't you say something before we came all the way up here?
Fluttershy: I was afraid to.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Applejack: All of us are scared of that dragon.
Rainbow Dash: I'm not!
Applejack: Almost all of us are scared of that dragon, but we've got a job to do. So, get in there with Twilight and show her what you're made of.
Fluttershy: I- I- I just... can't.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm goin' in. He... probably just doesn't realize what he's doing... right?
[ponies agree nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Mr. Dragon.
Razer: [rumble]
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me.
Razer: [rumble]
Twilight Sparkle: Mr. Dragon.
Razer: [rumble]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good, you're awake. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Twilight-
Razer: [yawn]
Twilight Sparkle: Augh! Puh! Sparkle, and my friends and I are residents here in Equestria. Ponyville, to be exact. We've come here to ask that you find another spot to take your nap. It's just that you seem to be doing an awful lot of snoring, and every time you do you send out a terrible cloud of smoke. [coughs] Equestria simply can't survive a hundred years in a dark haze. You understand, don't you?
Razer: [stretches] [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: So, you'll find another place to sleep? [coughs]
Razer: [huff]
All ponies: [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: So much for [coughs] persuading him.
Applejack: Now what?
Rarity: [coughs] Obviously, this situation just calls for a little "pony charm". Allow me, girls. I'm so sorry to interrupt. [clears throat] But I couldn't possibly head back home without mentioning what handsome scales you have. And those scales have to be hidden away in some silly cave for a hundred years?
Razer: [rumble]
Rarity: Personally, I think you should skip the snoozing and be out there, showing them off. Hmm. Obviously, I would be more than happy to keep an eye on your jewels while you're gone.
Razer: [growl]
Rarity: [cry]
Rarity: I was this close to getting that diamond.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean... getting rid of that dragon?
Rarity: Oh, yeah... sure.
[horn]
Applejack: What in tarnation...?
Pinkie Pie: [horn]
Rarity: Darling, you look ridiculous.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! Sharing a laugh is a sure-fire way to get someone on your side! Hi!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Apparently he doesn't like laughing, heh. Or sharing.
Rainbow Dash: All right, that's it. We tried persuasion, charm, whatever it is Pinkie Pie does.
Pinkie Pie: [busted horn]
Rainbow Dash: It's time to stop wasting time! I'm going in!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, no!
Rainbow Dash: Get! Out! [smack]
Razer: [sneeze] [growl]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Sorry.
Razer: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Who-o-o-o-o-a!
[tenpins]
Ponies: Ugh!
[roar]
[screams]
Razer: [roar]
Ponies: [moans]
Razer: [rumble]
Ponies: [moans]
Fluttershy: How dare you... How dare you! Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully! You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not—I repeat—you do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?
Razer: [whimper]
Fluttershy: Well?
Razer: But that rainbow one kicked me.
Fluttershy: And I am very sorry about that. But you're bigger than she is, and you should know better. You should also know better than to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures.
Razer: But I-
Fluttershy: Don't you 'but I' me, mister. Now what do you have to say for yourself? I said, what do you have to say for yourself?
Razer: [whimper] [crying]
Fluttershy: There, there. No need to cry. You're not a bad dragon, you just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all.
Ponies: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: You did it! I knew you could do it.
Spike: [pant] I said come back here! Ooh! How does Fluttershy put up with you furry little things?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, take a letter.
Spike: [sigh] With pleasure.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
I am happy to report that the dragon has departed our fair country, and that it was my good friend, Fluttershy, who convinced him to go. This adventure has taught me to never lose faith in your friends. They can be an amazing source of strength, and can help you overcome even your greatest fears.
Always your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.
Applejack: Twilight! You gotta come see this! She's just five away from a new pony record!
Rainbow Dash: Three hundred forty-seven, three hundred forty-eight...
[roar]
Rainbow Dash: Dragon!
[goat bleat]
[laughter]
Rainbow Dash: [pants] Why are you laughing? That awful dragon is back!
Pinkie Pie: [roar]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you scared me! I mean, uh, you... broke my concentration.
Fluttershy: It's okay, Rainbow Dash. Not everypony can be as brave as me. [scream]
[goat bleat]
[laughter]
[music]
[credits]

Look Before You Sleep

Applejack: [groans]
Rarity: Hmm. Hah! Perfect.
Applejack: [spit] Just take the broken limbs down, Rarity. Don't y'all care about nothin' other than prettifyin'?
Rarity: Somepony has to. You were making an absolute mess of the town square, Applejack.
Applejack: Yeah, well, the storm's gonna make an even bigger mess if we don't prune all these loose branches so they don't tumble down on anypony.
Rarity: I simply cannot imagine why the Pegasus ponies would schedule a dreadful downpour this evening and ruin what could have been a glorious sunny day.
Applejack: [sigh] Think more practical-like, will ya? They accidentally skipped a scheduled sprinkle last week, so we need a doozy of a downpour to make up for it, is all.
[rain pouring down]
Rarity: Oh no! My wonderfully styled mane shall be ruined!
Applejack: Ya shoulda hurried up and finished the job already.
Rarity: Oh! Ah! Oh! Ph! It's coming down too fast! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ah! Help me!
Applejack: Uh, there. Hunker down to yer heart's content whilst I finish things.
Rarity: [pant] Oh, no, no, no!
Applejack: What now?
Rarity: I prefer not to get my hooves muddy.
Applejack: Guh. There is just no pleasin' ya, is there? Everything's got to be just so.
Rarity: [scoff] Well, and how does muddying my hooves serve any useful purpose?
Applejack: Y'all wouldn't know useful if it came up and bit'cha.
Rarity: [laugh] That doesn't even make any sense.
Applejack: Does so.
Rarity: Does not.
Applejack: Does so.
Rarity: Does not.
Applejack: Does so.
Rarity: Does not.
Applejack: Does so infinity. Hah.
Rarity: Does not infinity plus one. Heh. What say we go our separate ways before one of us says something she will regret?
Applejack: I reckon y'all are gonna say something you'll regret first.
Rarity: On the contrary, I believe it shall most certainly be you who says something you will regret first.
Applejack: I'm not sayin' anythin'.
Rarity: Nor am I.
Applejack: Y'all just be on yer way, then.
Rarity: After you!
[thunder cracks]
Applejack and Rarity: [yelp]
Rarity: Perhaps we should stick together for now and find some shelter.
Applejack: Uh-huh, perhaps we should. And fast.
[theme song]
Applejack: Heh. Nice and dry under here, sorta.
Rarity: Oh! Unacceptable.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! Rarity! Applejack! Rarity!
Applejack and Rarity: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Come inside girls, quick.
Applejack: Whoa, nelly. Is inside a tree really the best place to be in a lightning storm?
Twilight Sparkle: It is if you have a magical lightning rod protecting your home like I do. Come on in!
Rarity: Hah! We are most grateful for your invitation.
Applejack: Thank ya kindly for yer hospitality.
Rarity: Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?
Applejack: [grumble] If I gotta spend one more second with that fussbudget Rarity today, I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do.
Twilight Sparkle: Some storm, huh? The Pegasus ponies sure have outdone themselves this time. I hope you and Applejack don't have any trouble getting home.
Rarity: It may indeed be a problem.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you're welcome to stay if need be. Spike is away in Canterlot on royal business. I'm home all alone tonight. [gasp] You and Applejack should totally sleep over! We'll have a slumber party! I've always wanted one of those.
Rarity: Oh! Uh, goodness. Uh, I do believe I have another engagement scheduled for this evening that completely slipped my mind until just now. [nervous laugh] Ah, silly me, I can't possibly stay here all night -- with Applejack. [reading] Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.
Twilight Sparkle: My own personal copy. It's a fantastic reference guide. You should see the table of contents. I've been waiting for a chance to use it, and today is the day! This is gonna be so great!
Rarity: Yes, uh, great. [nervous laughter]
Applejack: [gasp] What in tarnation... Now wait just a goll-darn minute. Ya make me wash the mud off my hooves, but it's okay for y'all to have mud all over yer faces?
Rarity: Silly! This is called a mud mask. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion.
Twilight Sparkle: We're giving each other makeovers! Eee-hee! We have to do it, it says so in the book.
Applejack: Slumber 101: Everything You... Oh hey, heh, would'ja look at the time. I gotta skidaddle on home quick. I'm powerful late for, uh, fer somethin'. Uh, g'night. [cry] Or maybe I'll sit here for a spell.
Twilight Sparkle: Hurray slumber party!
Applejack: Blahch. What in the world is this for?
Rarity: [sigh] To reduce the puffiness around one's eyes, of course.
Applejack: Puffiness-schmuffiness! That's good eatin'! [chews loudly]
Twilight Sparkle: Hee-hee! Isn't this exciting? We'll do everything by the book, and that will make my slumber party officially fun.
Rarity: Did you hear that, Applejack? You certainly would not want to do anything that would ruin Twilight's very first slumber party, would you?
Applejack: Of course not, 'n you wouldn't either, I reckon?
Rarity: So do we have an agreement?
Applejack: You betcha. [spit]
Rarity: Oh! Gross! You know, there's messy and there's just plain rude.
Applejack: You know, there's fussy, 'n there's just plain gettin' on my nerves.
Rarity: Fortunately, I can get along with anypony, no matter how difficult she may be.
Applejack: Oh yeah? Well, I'm the "get-alongin-est" pony you're ever gonna meet.
Rarity: That's not even a word.
Twilight Sparkle: This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever! Yay!
Applejack and Rarity: Yay.
Rarity: So, how are you getting along over there, Applejack?
Applejack: Just fine, Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle: This is so awesome! [giggle] Makeovers, check. Ooh, it says here we have to tell ghost stories. Who wants to go first?
Applejack: Me! I'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. Oo-oo! I'm sure y'all are familiar with that one?
Rarity: Never heard of it, but I have a much better one. It's the horrifying story of the messy, inconsiderate ghost who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! Oo-oo!
Applejack: That's not a real story. You made it up.
Rarity: It is a ghost story, they're all made up.
[screams]
Twilight Sparkle: I've got one! This story is called The Legend of The Headless Horse. It was a dark and stormy night, just like this one. And three ponies were having a slumber party, just like this one...
Twilight Sparkle: ...and just when the last pony thought she was safe, there, standing right behind her, just inches away was--The Headless Horse!
Applejack and Rarity: [gasp] [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: Ghost story, check. Now, who wants s'mores?
Rarity: Then you place one marshmallow on the top of the chocolate and be sure it's centered--that's critical--and then carefully put another perfectly square graham cracker on the top. And done. Ta-da! [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooo!
Applejack: Nah, ya just eat 'em. [munch] Mmm-mmm! [belch]
Rarity: [sigh] You could at least say excuse me.
Applejack: Aw, I was just about to, but you interrupted me. Pardon.
Twilight Sparkle: S'mores, check. Now the next item of fun we have to do is Truth or Dare.
Rarity: I dare Applejack to do something carefully and neatly for a change.
Applejack: Oh yeah? Well I dare Rarity ta lighten up and stop obsessin' over every last little detail, for a change.
Rarity: I think the truth of the matter is that somepony could stand to pay a little more attention to details.
Applejack: And I think the truth is somepony oughta quit with her fussin' so the rest of us can get things done.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, I don't think this is how the game's supposed to work. You have to give an honest answer to any question or do whatever anypony dares you to do.
Applejack: I dares you to step outside and let your precious, tidy mane get ruined again.
Rarity: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: You have to. It's the rule.
Applejack: Hah!
Rarity: Fine! [cries]
Applejack: [snickers] [laughs]
Rarity: Okay. I dare Applejack to play dress-up in a frou-frou, glittery, lacey outfit.
Applejack: [gasp] Happy?
Rarity: Very. [smirk]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, do I ever get a turn?
Applejack: I dare ya to enter the next rodeo when it comes to town.
Rarity: I dare you not to enter the next rodeo that comes to town.
Applejack: I dare ya to not comb your mane a hundred times before bed.
Rarity: And I dare you to comb yours just once.
Twilight Sparkle: I, uh, I think we should check off Truth or Dare and move on. Let's see what our next fun-fun-fun thing is, shall we? Hm, what does this mean? Pillow fight?
Rarity: Oh, please. I am not at all interested in participating in something so crude. Oh! It! Is! On! [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I get it! Pillow, fight! Fun! Ugh. Ah. Uh, girls? Maybe we should take it down a notch?
Applejack: I will if she will.
Rarity: [gasp] She started it.
Twilight Sparkle: [spit] Maybe we should just call it a night and get some sleep?
Rarity: Keep your muddy hooves on your side of the bed.
Applejack: My hooves ain't muddy.
Rarity: They were. There might still be a little on them.
Applejack: There ain't. See?
Rarity: Eww!
Applejack: Now who's bein' inconsiderate?
Rarity: I have to make the bed again so the blanket will be right. Get up.
Applejack: Hey!
Rarity: Ah ah ah! You'll ruin it. You have to do it like this. Mm, uh, ooh, u-u-u-uh, uh, ah.
Applejack: Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Geronimo!
Rarity: Hey!
Applejack: Ah.
Rarity: You did that on purpose.
Applejack: Um, yeah?
Rarity: Get up so I can fix it again.
Applejack: Can't hear ya, I'm asleep. [snore]
Rarity: M-mmm!
Applejack: I ain't budgin'.
Rarity: You will if you want any blankets.
Applejack: Give it back!
Rarity: I will not!
Applejack: Yes, you will!
Rarity: Won't!
Applejack: Will!
Rarity: Won't!
Applejack: Will!
Rarity: Won't!
Applejack: Will!
Twilight Sparkle: Enough! It says right here that the number one thing you're supposed to do at a slumber party is have fun, and thanks to you two I can't check that off!
Applejack: I've been tryin' my darndest to get along.
Rarity: No, it is I who have been trying my best.
Applejack: No, it was me.
Rarity: No, it was I.
Applejack: Me!
Rarity: I!
Twilight Sparkle: I hope you're happy, both of you. You've ruined my very first slumber party. The makeover, the s'mores, Truth or Dare, the pillow fight... I mean, is there anything else that could possibly go wrong?
[lightning strikes]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry I asked.
Applejack, Rarity and Twilight: [gasp]
Applejack: Ya see? That's why we needed to take down all those loose branches in town, not spiffy 'em up.
Rarity: But I--
Applejack: Outta my way, missy! Time's a-wastin'.
Rarity: Wait! Stop! Don't!
Applejack: No waitin'! No stoppin'! Doin'! And that, my friends, is what we call gettin' 'er done.
Rarity: [cry]
Twilight Sparkle: [cry]
[crash]
Rarity: [cries] I tried to tell you it would come crashing down in here.
Applejack: Well, ya shoulda tried harder. [sigh] I'm mighty sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: It's... Well, it's not okay. There's a giant tree branch in the middle of my bedroom, and the book doesn't say anything about having a giant tree branch at your slumber party. Or at least I haven't found that entry yet. Ooh... ah!
Applejack: What in tarnation are y'all doin' over there?
Rarity: Cleaning up this mess somepony made. Who was that again? Oh, right, that's you.
Applejack: We gotta do somethin'!
Twilight Sparkle: Baking... BFFs... Brothers... There's nothing in here about branches.
Applejack: [grunts] Rarity, for pony's sake, stop sweatin' the small stuff and help me get rid of this thing! I said hussle over here and help me! Look, I'm sorry, all right?
Rarity: What was that?
Applejack: I said I'm sorry! I shoulda listened to you when you noticed where this here branch would end up. Yer annoyin' attention to detail would'a saved us from this whole mess. But right now, ya need to stop bein' so dang fussy pickin' up all the little things and help me move the one big thing in here that actually matters! Please!
Rarity: Uh. Uh, but I'll get all icky.
Applejack: Consarnit! What the... eh... you... I mean, yes, ickiness is often a side effect of hard work. But y'all need to get over it, on account I just can't fix this mess I made myself. I need your help.
Rarity: Oh. Let's do this.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, they do have a section about backyard slumber parties. Is that what we're doing right now? Does this count as camping?
Rarity: [grunt]
Applejack: [grunt]
Rarity: U-ugh. Oh, I look awful.
Applejack: Better?
Rarity: Hmph, thanks.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, pretty! Where did these come from? They're not in the book either.
Applejack, Rarity and Twilight: [laughter]
Applejack: Is it bigger than a barn?
Twilight Sparkle: [laugh] Nope.
Rarity: Is it smaller than a saddle?
Twilight Sparkle: [laugh] No! Only three of your twenty questions left!
Applejack: [sigh] We're never gonna guess what you're thinkin' of, it could be anythin'.
Rarity: Are we getting warmer?
Twilight Sparkle: Why? Is it too cold in here for you? I can turn up the heat.
Applejack: She means are we gettin' any closer with our guesses?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! No. And that technically counted as a question, so only two more left!
Applejack: Is it... a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shootin' stars comin' out of his eyes?
Rarity: Who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkly eggs?
Twilight Sparkle: That's it!
Applejack and Rarity: It is?
Twilight Sparkle: No. [chuckle] It's that. But it was just so nice to see you two finally getting along, I wanted you to be able to win together.
Applejack and Rarity: [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: See? We could have been having fun like this all along.
Applejack: If only somepony hadn't been so persnickety.
Rarity: Well, maybe she wouldn't have been if somepony else hadn't been so sloppy.
Applejack: Sorry for being such a pain in the patootie.
Rarity: Oh, no, I'm sure I was much worse.
Applejack: That's kind of ya to say, but I'm the one who's sorry.
Rarity: Oh, I'm much more sorry than you are.
Applejack: Ugh. Are not.
Rarity: Are too.
Applejack: Are not!
Rarity: Are too.
Applejack: Are not.
Rarity: Are too.
Applejack and Rarity: [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: I declare my first slumber party a success!
Applejack and Rarity: [cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Have fun, check.
Applejack and Rarity: [laughter]
Rarity: Now take two steps to your left. Uh, no, my left.
Applejack: Whu, which is it? [crash] Whoa! That mess is your fault, not mine. [laughter]
Rarity: [laughter] Sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
It's hard to believe that two ponies who seem to have so little in common could ever get along. But I found out that if you embrace each other's differences, you just might be surprised to discover a way to be friends after all.
Twilight Sparkle: So, who's up for another slumber party tomorrow night? Ugh. How about a week from Thursday? Oh, how about two weeks from Saturday? A month from now?
Applejack and Rarity: [laughter]
[music]
[credits]

Bridle Gossip

Twilight Sparkle: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Spike: Rainbow Dash must have gotten up early for once and cleared all the clouds away.
Twilight Sparkle: I bet all of Ponyville is going to be out enjoying the sunshine. What? Where is everypony?
Spike: Is it some sort of pony holiday?
Twilight Sparkle: Not that I know of.
Spike: Does my breath stink? [belch]
Twilight Sparkle: Not more than usual.
Spike: Is it... zombies?!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... not very likely.
Spike: Not likely... but possible?
Pinkie Pie: Psst! Twilight! Spike! Come here! Come! Here! Hurry! Before she gets you!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Spike: Who?! The zombie pony?
Pinkie Pie: Z-Zombie pony?!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! There are no zombie ponies. Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?
Pinkie Pie: I'm not alone in the dark.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Okay then, what are you all doing here in the dark?
Applejack: We're hidin' from her!
[All gasp]
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Did you see her Twilight? Did you see... Zecora?
Applejack: Apple Bloom! I told you never to say that name.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I saw her glance this way...
Pinkie Pie: Glance evilly this way.
Twilight Sparkle: ... And then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason.
Applejack: No good reason? You call protectin' yer kin no good reason? Why, as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, she started shakin' in her lil' horseshoes.
Apple Bloom: [shakily] Did not!
Applejack: So I swept her up and brought her here.
Apple Bloom: I walked here myself!
Applejack: For safe keepin'.
Apple Bloom: Applejack, I'm not a baby! I can take care of myself!
Applejack: Not from that creepy Zecora.
Fluttershy: She's mysterious.
Rainbow Dash: Sinister.
Pinkie Pie: And spoooooky!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Everyone but Twilight: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Will you cut that out?
Rarity: Just look at those stripes! So garish!
Twilight Sparkle: She's a zebra.
Everyone but Twilight: A what!?
Twilight Sparkle: A zebra, and her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they're what she was born with.
Rarity: [faints]
Applejack: Born where? I've never seen a pony like that in these parts, 'cept... her!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she's probably not from here, and she's not a pony. My books say that zebras come from a faraway land. But I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?
Applejack: That's just it, she lives in... the Everfree Forest!
[Crash that sounds like a thunderclap]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Spike: Uh, sorry.
Applejack: The Everfree Forest just ain't natural. The plants grow...
Fluttershy: Animals care for themselves...
Rainbow Dash: And the clouds move...
Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash: All on their own!
Rarity: [faints]
Pinkie Pie: And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil... stuff! She's so evil I even wrote a song about her!
Rainbow Dash: Here we go...
[Pinkie Pie]
She's an evil enchantress
She does evil dances
And if you look deep in her eyes
She'll put you in trances
Then what will she do?
She'll mix up an evil brew
Then she'll gobble you up
In a big tasty stew
Soooo... Watch out!
Pinkie Pie: [heavy breathing]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. Catchy.
Pinkie Pie: It's a work in progress.
Twilight Sparkle: This is all just a lot of gossip and rumors. Now tell me; what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?
Rainbow Dash: Well... Once a month, she comes into Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle: [dramatically] Oooooh.
Rarity: Then, she lurks by the stores.
Twilight Sparkle: [dramatically] Oh, my.
Fluttershy: And then, she digs at the ground.
Twilight Sparkle: [dramatically] Good gracious! [normal tone] Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit?
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Maybe she's just tryin' to be neighborly.
Twilight Sparkle: And maybe she's not lurking by the stores, maybe she's going to them, lurk free, to do some shopping?
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Everypony likes to shop. You know what I think?
Applejack: Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk.
Apple Bloom: [under breath] I am a big pony!
Rainbow Dash: W-what about digging at the ground? You've got to admit that's weird.
Fluttershy: What if she's digging for innocent creatures?
[Pinkie Pie sings "Evil Enchantress" in the background]
Twilight Sparkle: I am sure there is an explanation for everything Zecora does. And if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth.
Apple Bloom: Well, I'm brave enough; I'm gonna find out myself. [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: You ponies are being ridiculous!
Pinkie Pie: Well, I heard that Zecora eats hay.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I eat hay; you eat hay!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, but I heard it's the evil way she eats hay.
Applejack: Hey! Where's Apple Bloom?
Fluttershy: The door's open.
Rarity: She went outside!
Rainbow Dash: And Zecora's still out there.
Applejack: [sigh] That silly lil' filly! I told her to stay put!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you stay here in case Apple Bloom comes back.
Spike: Will do!
Apple Bloom: [gulps]
Applejack: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Applejack: You get back here right now!
Zecora: Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!
Applejack: Y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear?
[Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity speak over each other against Zecora]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Oh brother.
Zecora : Beware! Beware!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, back at ya, Zecora! You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!
Applejack: And you! Why couldn't you just listen to yer big sister?
Apple Bloom: I...I...
Applejack: Who knows what kind of nasty curse Zecora could have just put on you?
Pinkie Pie: Just like in my song! [Starts singing a shorter version of "Evil Enchantress"]
Twilight Sparkle: You guys, there's no such thing as curses!
Rainbow Dash: Well, that's interesting to hear coming from Miss Magic Pants herself.
Twilight Sparkle: My magic, real magic, comes from within. It's a skill you're born with. Curses are artificial, fake magic. It's conjured with potions and incantations; all smoke and mirrors meant to scare. But curses have no real power, they're just an old pony tale.
Applejack: Just you wait, Twilight. You're gonna learn that some pony tales really are true.
[dream sequence]
Pinkie Pie: She's an evil enchantress, she does evil dances!
Zecora: Beware! Beware!
Pinkie Pie: If you look deep in her eyes, she will put you in trances!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, was that supposed to scare us?!
Rarity: Wicked, wicked zebra!
Fluttershy: ... it's a curse.
Pinkie Pie: Then what will she do?
Applejack: Just you wait, Twilight; some pony tales really are true.
Pinkie Pie: Then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew! Soooo... Watch out!
Zecora: [evil laugh]
[rooster crowing]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh... what a dream... Curses, schmurses. Whoa! [chuckle] Maybe Zecora cursed my hair. [Laughs nervously and then gasps] Or she cursed my horn!
Twilight Sparkle: No no no no no! None of these books have a cure! Ugh! There has to be a real reason for this! An illness? An allergy?!
Spike: A curse!
Twilight Sparkle: I said a real reason. Something that points to something real.
Spike: How about this one?
Twilight Sparkle: "Supernaturals"? Spike, the word supernatural refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies, which are as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hooey!
Spike: But what if you're wrong, Twilight? What if this really is a-
Pinkie Pie: Ah pfurse!
Spike: A purse? How could it be a purse?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? What happened?
Pinkie Pie: Pee pah Zthecora! Sthe put a cursthe on me!
Spike: Hey, say it, don't spray it, Pinkie!
Rainbow Dash: [thud] Ow! [thud] Oh! She's [thud] trying to say-ow!- Zecora [thud]-oh!-[crash] she slapped us all with a-ow- curse!
Rarity: I'm afraid I have to agree. [Blows hair out of her face]
[Spike and Twilight yell in surprise]
Applejack: [high pitched voice] I hate to say I told ya so, Twilight, but I told ya so!
[Spike and Twilight gasp]
Applejack: It's a curse, I tells ya!
Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy... seems just fine!
Rarity: Yes, there doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy? Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? Would you care to tell us? So... you're not going to tell us? Yes you're not, or yes you will?
Applejack: Good gravy, girl! What's wrong with you?!
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] I don't want to talk about it.
[Spike snorts, then bursts out laughing]
Spike: This is hilarious! [laughs] Look at all of you! We got: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Flutterguy, and... uh... I got nothin'... Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can't even work with that.
Twilight Sparkle: [Sarcastic laughter] This is no joke, Spike. Now start looking for more books so I can find a cure!
Spike: [groan]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] I think we'll find a cure to this curse at Zecora's place!
Twilight Sparkle: It's not a curse!
Applejack: I agree with Dash! We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!
Twilight Sparkle: It's not a hex either!
[Everyone but Apple Bloom and Spike shouting at once]
Apple Bloom: This is all my fault. If I hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this would have happened. I just gotta fix this.
Applejack: Now where does she think she's goin' this time?
Rainbow Dash: I don't care what you say, Twilight. It's time to pony up and confront Zecora. Come on, girls. Are you with me?
Pinkie Pie: Ah am-pft!
Rarity: And I as well.
Fluttershy: Uh, I don't know. Seems awfully dangerous.
Spike: [giggle]
Rainbow Dash: How about you, Applejack? Applejack?
Pinkie Pie: Pf-she's gone-pft!
Rarity: Aah! Or somepony stepped on her!
Twilight Sparkle: ... or sat on her?
Rainbow Dash: Rarity's hair!
Rarity: Oh! OH! Pinkie, what are you doing? Ah, really. Aah! You ever hear of personal space?
Pinkie Pie: Nopthe.
Twilight Sparkle: Apple Bloom is gone too!
Rainbow Dash: I bet they went after Zecora.
Twilight Sparkle: Well we better go find them. Come on girls, let's go.
Rarity: [grunt] Oh dear. Oh, this is so unseemly. Auuuaah!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, a little help here?
Fluttershy: Oopsie! Sorry.
Rainbow Dash: [crash] OW!
Fluttershy: Uh... Spike? Are you coming?
Spike: Nope! Uh... gotta stay here and look for a cure. [gasp] Twilight Flopple!
Applejack: Stop right there! Turn around right now, missy!
Apple Bloom: No.
Applejack: No?! You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister!
Apple Bloom: Hehehe. Sorry, Applejack, but I'm the big sister now.
Applejack: Apple Bloom, you come back here right this instant! I'm gonna tell Big McIntosh on you! Aw, pony feathers.
Twilight Sparkle: C'mon girls. We've got to get to Zecora's. Hurry!
Rarity: Ooh... Ahaha. Easier said than done.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, wait for me! [screaming and owing]
Applejack: Rainbow! Thank Celestia! There's no time to lose! I need to get to Zecora's pronto! Giddy-up pony!
Rainbow Dash: Ex-CUSE me?
Applejack: YEEE-HAW!
Rainbow Dash: What the...
Applejack: No, Rainbow Dash. Other way!
Rarity: Oh. I look horrible!
Pinkie Pie: Plis place plooks horrible!
Rarity: Oh my. That place really does look horrible. Nice decorations, if you like creepy!
[Ponies gasp]
Zecora: [talks in her native language]
Pinkie Pie: Sthe sthtole my sthong! Shthe shtole mm mm!
Rarity: She stole your song?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh Pinkie. Doesn't sound anything like your song.
Pinkie Pie: Ah. Hmm... Pbth! [whimper]
Fluttershy: [sigh]
She's an evil enchantress
And she does evil dances
And if you look deep in her eyes
She will put you in trances
Then what would she do?
She'll mix up an evil brew
Then she'll gobble you up
In a big tasty stew
Soooo... Watch out.
Rarity: You saw those terrible things. Now do you believe us Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron? [sigh] Everything is pointing to Zecora being... bad. Or... what if Zecora is just making soup?
Zecora: Mmm! The perfect temperature for ponies, I presume. Now, where is that little Apple Bloom?
Twilight Sparkle: Or... what if she's making Apple Bloom soup?!
Twilight Sparkle: What if she's making Apple Bloom soup?!
Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy: [scream]
Applejack: I'm comin' for ya, Apple Bloom!
Rainbow Dash: Aaah!
Zecora: [Native language]
Applejack: Whoa there. Easy, Rainbow Crash.
Zecora: Oh. [Native language]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Zecora: [Native language]
Twilight Sparkle: What have you done with Apple Bloom?
Zecora: No! No! [Native language]
Applejack: [grunt]
Rainbow Dash: Ahh!
Zecora: Ponies! What is this you...
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Zecora: No! You know not what you do! You've gone and spilled my precious brew!
Twilight Sparkle: We're onto you Zecora. I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming!
Rarity: You made me look ridiculous.
Fluttershy: You made me sound ridiculous!
Pinkie Pie: [incoherent] You made me speak ridiculous!
Twilight Sparkle: You ruined my horn!
Zecora: How dare you! You destroy my home, destroy my work, then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?
Rainbow Dash: You put this curse on us, now you're gonna uncurse us.
Zecora: It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!
Twilight Sparkle: Where is Apple Bloom!?
Apple Bloom: Zecora! I think I found all the things ya asked for. What in Ponyville is goin' on here?
Applejack: [gasp] Apple Bloom! You're okay!
Apple Bloom: Why wouldn't I be?
Twilight Sparkle: Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was gonna cook you up into soup!
Zecora and Apple Bloom: [laughs]
Apple Bloom: Oh Twilight. Did those silly fillies finally get in yer head? You know there's no such thing as a curse.
Twilight Sparkle: Apple Bloom, sweetie. You can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse.
Apple Bloom: This isn't a curse.
Zecora: If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact. [flashback]: Beware, beware you pony folk. Those leaves of blue are not a joke.
Apple Bloom: It was a warnin'. About that blue plant. It's called Poison Joke.
Zecora: That plant is much like poison oak. But its results are like a joke.
Applejack: What in the hay does that mean?
Zecora: It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead this plant just wants a laugh.
Applejack: Will somepony please talk normal?
Twilight Sparkle: I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Apple Bloom, we ran into the poison joke. All our problems are just little jokes it played on us.
Applejack: Little jokes?! Very funny.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, fine. But what about the cauldron?
Fluttershy: And the chanting?
Rarity: And the creepy décor?
Zecora: Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello', and this 'welcome'.
Rarity: Not welcoming at all, if you ask me.
Zecora: The words I chanted were from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme.
Twilight Sparkle: But the cauldron... The Apple Bloom soup?
Apple Bloom: Lookie here Twilight. That pot of water wasn't for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients. The cure for poison joke is a simple old-natural remedy. You just gotta take a bubble bath!
Twilight Sparkle: But I tried to find a cure in all my books and couldn't find anything. What book has this natural remedy?
Zecora: Here is the book, you see? Sad that you lack it in your library.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so... Weird. Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-alls That Are Simply Super. I...I... I'm so sorry, Zecora. I had the answer the whole time, if only I had bothered to look inside.
Zecora: [chuckle] Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book.
Apple Bloom: Hahaha.
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora? Would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?
Zecora: Mix it up I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: But whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops are mysteriously closed.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well... I think we can help you with that.
Daisy: Look Rose! How awful!
Rose: The wicked enchantress has cursed them all.
Lily Valley: The horror, the horror!
[Ponies panicking]
Daisy: Run, ponies! Run!
Twilight Sparkle: Daisy, we need to talk.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
My friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: Never judge a book by its cover. Someone may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your "cover" is; it's the "contents" of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Lotus Blossom: Miss Zecora, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious!
Apple Bloom: Applejack! Hey, where's Applejack?!
Ponies: [gasp]
Applejack: [normal voice] I'm right here, little sis. I ain't tiny no more!
Rarity: Oh! I have never felt so lovely in all my life!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, my gosh! I never realized how horrible it is not to be able to talk. I mean, I love talking so much, and when I couldn't talk anymore, my tongue was all 'ehhhh'! It was the worst! Don't you agree, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: [normal voice] ... Yes.
Everyone: [laughing]
[music]
[credits]

Swarm of the Century

Fluttershy: La, la la, la la, la la, la la. Thank you little squirrel, but remember: these flowers are for Princess Celestia. Only the prettiest ones will do. La, la la, la la, la la, la la.
Parasprite: [chirp]
Fluttershy: Gah!
Parasprite: [chirp]
Fluttershy: Hello, little guy. I've never seen anything like you before.
Parasprite: [sniff]
Fluttershy: Oh, are you hungry? Here you go. [gasp] I guess you were hungry.
Parasprite: [purr]
Fluttershy: You're the cutest thing ever! I can't wait to show you to my friends.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Hurry up, Spike! This place isn't gonna clean itself.
Spike: It also didn't mess itself up.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia will be here tomorrow!
Spike: I thought this was just an unofficial casual visit.
Twilight Sparkle: There's nothing casual about a visit from royalty. I want this place to be spotless, and you've barely made a dent in the clutter.
Spike: Maybe you should, ugh, start reading them one at a time-- whoa ho! Aw.
Twilight Sparkle: Everything's got to be perfect. No time for fooling around.
Spike: You know, this would be an awful lot easier if there weren't two of us here getting under each other's feet.
Twilight Sparkle: Great idea. You clean, I'll go see how everyone else's preparations are coming.
Spike: Or maybe I should... [groan]
[ponies chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: What happened to the rest of her name?
Golden Harvest: We couldn't fit it all in.
Twilight Sparkle: You can't hang a banner that says "Welcome Princess Celest". Take it down and try again.
Twilight Sparkle: That looks perfect. Keep up the good work.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. How's the banquet coming?
Mrs. Cake: Uh...it would be coming a little better if...
Pinkie Pie: Mmm... [slurp]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! What are you doing? Those sweets are supposed to be for the princess.
Pinkie Pie: I know. That's why I'm tasting them. Somepony needs to make sure that everything is tasty enough to touch the royal tongue, and I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess.
Fluttershy: Twilight, Pinkie, you won't believe... oh, I'm sorry. Uh, am I interrupting?
Pinkie Pie: No, not at all. Come on in and make yourself at home. [slurp] What's going on, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: You won't believe what I found at the edge of the Everfree Forest. Come on out, little guy. It's okay.
Parasprite: [purr] [chirp]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Three?
Twilight Sparkle: They're amazing. What are they?
Fluttershy: I'm not sure. I'm also not sure where these other two came from.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll take one off your hooves. I've never seen anything so... adorable. Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying.
Fluttershy: Pinkie, do you want the other one?
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! A parasprite? Are you kidding?
Fluttershy: Ugh?
Twilight Sparkle: A para-what?
Fluttershy: How could you not like...
Pinkie Pie: Ugh. Now I gotta go find a trombone.
Twilight Sparkle: A what?
Pinkie Pie: A trombone, you know: [trombone imitation]
Twilight Sparkle: Ahhh, typical Pinkie.
Parasprite: [purr]
Rarity: Stand still, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, I caaan't, I need to flyyy! This is waaay too boring for me.
Rarity: Do you want to look nice for Princess Celestia or not?
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. Rarity, those outfits are gorgeous.
Rarity: Mmhmm. Thank you, Twilight. Nice to know someone appreciates my talents.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, sooo boooring.
Parasprites: [chirp]
Rarity: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: What's that sound, Twilight?
Parasprite: [several chirps]
Rainbow Dash: Wow, what are they?
Twilight Sparkle: The better question is, where did they come from? I only had one a minute ago.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I'll take one.
Rarity: Me too, oh, they're perfect.
Pinkie Pie: Does anypony know where I can find an accordion?
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [baby noises]
Pinkie Pie: Girls! Hello! This is important. Durgh! Thanks a lot.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] The decorations, the banquet, I really hope everything comes together in time for tomorrow.
Spike: [snore]
Parasprite: [baby noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, [yawn] what's there to worry about?
Parasprites: [loud baby noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Wake up! What happened?
Spike: Huh? Whaaa! What's going on?
Parasprite: [chirp]
Twilight Sparkle: Where did they come from?
Spike: I don't know. The little guy got hungry in the night, so I gave him a snack, but... I have no idea where these others came from. Oh no! They're messing up all my hard work!
Twilight Sparkle: The princess will be here in a few hours.
Spike: Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, help me round up these little guys.
Spike: Ugh, what does it look like I'm doin'? Ooow, waaah! D'oh. I know, I know, "stop fooling around".
Parasprite: [several chirps]
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Huh?! [screech] [grunt] [groan] Get off me! [groan] [grunt] Waaa!
Rarity: Not only are you adorable, but you're also quite useful.
Parasprite: [purr] [grunt]
Rarity: Oh! Are you okay? Aaah! [gasp] Eewww. Aaah! Gross gross gross! No creature that behaves so revoltingly is allowed in my boutique!
Parasprite: [grunt] [pop]
Rarity: [screech]
Pinkie Pie: Look Rarity, Applejack loaned me a harmonica. [plays harmonica] Isn't that great?
Parasprites: [chirping]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] And not a moment too soon.
Rarity: Ugh, Pinkie, I'm a little busy right now.
Pinkie Pie: And I'm not? You know how many more instruments I've gotta find? A lot, that's how many. Now if we split the list between us, we might just make it in time.
Rarity: Please, Pinkie, I don't have time for some silly scavenger hunt. I've got a real problem.
Pinkie Pie: You've got a real problem, all right. And a banjo is the only answer!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Rarity: [gasp] I see we're having the same problem.
Rainbow Dash: Ditto!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy knows everything about animals, I'm sure she can tell us how to stop them from multiplying.
Parasprites: [chirp]
Twilight Sparkle: ...or not.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, do something Fluttershy, can't you control them?
Fluttershy: I've tried everything I know: I've tried begging, and pleading, and beseeching, and asking politely and...
Rainbow Dash: Guh.
Twilight Sparkle: [whine]
Princess Celestia: [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: If we can't get them under control before the princess arrives, it'll be a total disaster.
Parasprite: [hack]
Rarity: Ew! If you ask me, it's already a total disaster.
Applejack: Here's all those apples you wanted, Fluttershy, but I still can't figure why y'need so many. Hey!
Fluttershy: What do we do?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] I got it! Nopony can herd like Applejack.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! We can drive 'em back into the forest.
Applejack: [scoffs] I'll rastle 'em up, but I need everypony's help to do it. Twilight, you and Rarity wait over there. I'll herd the little critters straight at ya like a funnel. Rainbow Dash, you and Fluttershy stay on top of 'em, don't let 'em fly away.
Rainbow Dash: Aye aye.
Applejack: Yeeeeeee-haw!
Parasprite: [screech]
Applejack: Alright y'all, here goes nothin'. Look out Rarity, that one's fixin' to get away. Keep a lead on 'em, Rainbow Dash! Hold on girls, we're almost there.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, we don't have much time.
Twilight Sparkle: You're telling me. The princess could arrive at any moment.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly. That's why I need you gals to drop what you're doing and help me find some maracas.
Twilight Sparkle: Maracas? Pinkie, we've got much bigger problems than missing maracas.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] You're right! Getting a tuba has to be our number one goal. Follow me. I said, follow me!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random.
Pinkie Pie: And you are all so stubborn!
Applejack: Forget her ladies. Focus. Head 'em up and move 'em out.
Rainbow Dash: All right! [grunt]
Fluttershy: Ouch.
Twilight Sparkle: We did it. Nice work, Applejack.
Applejack: Couldn't a'done it without y'all.
Twilight Sparkle: Now let's get back and clean up the mess they made before the princess arrives.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, everyone knows what to do, right? We gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time.
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Where did they come from?
Fluttershy: Well, I may have kept just one. Heh. I couldn't help myself. They're just so cute.
Twilight Sparkle: We don't have time to keep rounding up these things. What do we do now?
Rainbow Dash: We call in the weather patrol. [grunts]
Rarity: [shriek]
Rainbow Dash: Time to take out the adorable trash. YAAAAAA!
Parasprites: [chirp]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunt] Way to go, Rainbow Dash!
Applejack: Looks like our problems are solved.
Pinkie Pie: They will be with these cymbals. [crash] Hey! Give me those back!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. Yaa! Yow! Whoa! Wow! I can't hold it! She's breaking up.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, what have you done?
Pinkie Pie: I've lost a brand new pair of cymbals, that's what I've done.
Twilight Sparkle: Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second? You're ruining our efforts to save Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: Me? Ruin? I'm not the ruiner, I'm the ruin-ee! Or is it ruiness? Ruinette?
Applejack: Come on girls, there's no reasoning with that one. She's a few apples short of a bushel.
Pinkie Pie: Hey! I'm trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof. If you'd just slow down and listen to me!
Parasprites: [chirps] [munch] [munch]
Pony: [gasp]
Gardening pony: Aah!
Fluttershy: What do we do? They're eating all the food in town.
Applejack: [gasp] My apples!
Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta do something. [gasps] I got it! I'll cast a spell to make them stop eating all the food.
Pinkie Pie: Look, tambourines! If you could all just... [scream] [tambourines shake]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Parasprite: [chirp]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Parasprite: [munch]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Hey, it worked. They're not eating the food anymore.
Rarity: Oh no... if they get inside my store... Everypony for herself!
Rarity: My outfits! Go on, shoo! Get out of here, you naughty! Naughty! [shrieks]
Pinkie Pie: I'll save you!
[recorder]
Rarity: [shriek]
Applejack: No woodland creature's gonna eat the Apple Family's crop.
[parasprites buzzing]
Applejack: Brace yourself, y'all, here they come. [gasp] Didn't see that one comin'.
Spike: Help!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] They're eating the words. [grunts]
Spike: Help...
Zecora: Ugh. Have you gone mad?
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora, these little guys are devouring Ponyville, and the princess is on her way. Can you help us, please?
Zecora: Oh, monster of so little size. Is that a parasprite before my eyes?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! Is it?
Zecora: Tales of crops and harvests consumed. If these creatures are in Ponyville, you're doomed.
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Oh no, here she comes.
[ponies scream]
Daisy: Aaaah, aaaaaaah!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them.
Rainbow Dash: YAAAA!
Twilight Sparkle: Good. Everyone else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there. We've got less than a minute. Zecora was right, we're doomed. Oh no, the princess's procession is here. It's all over!
[polka music]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? We're in the middle of a crisis here. This is no time for your... nonsense?
Twilight Sparkle: Look.
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello, princess.
Princess Celestia: So lovely to see you again, as well as your friends.
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?
Princess Celestia: Ah, what is this? Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable.
Rainbow Dash: They're not that adorable.
Princess Celestia: I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville have organized a parade in honor of my visit.
Twilight Sparkle: Parade? Oh. Yes, the parade.
Princess Celestia: Unfortunately, that visit is going to have to wait for another time. I'm afraid an emergency has come up in Fillydelphia. Apparently there's been some sort of infestation.
Twilight Sparkle: An... infestation?
Princess Celestia: Yes, a swarm of incredibly bothersome creatures has invaded the poor town. I'm sorry Twilight, to have to put you all through so much trouble.
Twilight Sparkle: Trouble? What trouble?
Princess Celestia: Before I have to go, would you care to give me your latest report on the magic of friendship in person?
Twilight Sparkle: My... report?
Princess Celestia: Haven't you learned anything about friendship?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I have. I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from where you least expect it. It's a good idea to stop and listen to your friends' opinions and perspectives...
[cymbals crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Even when they don't always seem to make sense.
Princess Celestia: I'm so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle, and I'm very impressed with your friends as well. It sounds like you're all learning so much from each other.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, princess.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, what happened to the princess?
Twilight Sparkle: Emergency in Fillydelphia.
Rainbow Dash: Some sort of infestation.
Pinkie Pie: Oh no! Have they got parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel.
Twilight Sparkle: I think the princess can handle it.
Applejack: So you knew what those critters were all along, huh Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Well, duh! Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments? I tried to tell you.
Twilight Sparkle: We know, Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen.
[Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, Pinkie.] [Rarity: So sorry, Pinkie.] [Fluttershy: Sorry, Pinkie.] [Applejack: Real sorry, Pinkie.]
Twilight Sparkle: You're a great friend, even if we don't always understand you.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks guys, you're all great friends too, even when I don't understand me.
Twilight Sparkle: You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle: ...Or not.
[sad trombone]
[music]
[credits]

Winter Wrap Up

[crickets]
Spike: [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Spike, wake up. Wake up, wake up, it's Winter Wrap Up day!
Spike: Huh? Mommy?
Twilight Sparkle: Winter Wrap Up!
Spike: You're not mommy.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, the first day of spring is tomorrow, so everypony in Ponyville needs to clean up winter. Now help me get ready.
Spike: Clean up winter? Who cleans up winter? Don't they just use magic to change the seasons like they do in Canterlot?
Twilight Sparkle: No Spike, Ponyville was started by Earth ponies, so for hundreds of years they've never used magic to clean up winter. It's traditional. [sigh]
Spike: It's ridiculous. No magic... Fuh.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's see: scarf, check; saddle, check; boots, check; Spike refusing to get up and going back to sleep, check. It's a good thing I'm so organized, I'm ready. Bright and early. Oh... maybe a little too early.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Those must be the team vests Rarity designed. Blue for the weather team, green for the plant team, and tan for the animal team. I wonder which team vest I'll be wearing.
Spike: I'll take a blue vest, same color as my blankie, which I think I hear calling my name. "Spike! Spike! Come to bed!" Ugh, it's too early.
Mayor Mare: Thank you, everypony, for being here bright and early. We need every single pony's help to wrap up winter, and bring in spring.
[ponies cheer]
Mayor Mare: Now, all of you have your vests, and have been assigned to your teams, so let's do even better than last year, and have the quickest Winter Wrap Up ever!
[ponies cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, this is so exciting.
Mayor Mare: All right everypony, find your team leader, and let's get galloping!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh gosh, where should I go? I'm not sure where I fit in. What exactly does everypony do?
[Rainbow Dash]
Three months of winter coolness
And awesome holidays
[Pinkie Pie]
We've kept our hoofsies warm at home
Time off from work to play
[Applejack]
But the food we've stored is runnin' out
And we can't grow in this cold
[Rarity]
And even though I love my boots
This fashion's getting old
[Twilight Sparkle]
The time has come to welcome spring
And all things warm and green
But it's also time to say goodbye
It's winter we must clean
How can I help? I'm new, you see
What does everypony do?
How do I fit in without magic?
I haven't got a clue!
[Choir]
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
[Applejack]
'Cause tomorrow spring–
[Rainbow Dash]
–is here!
[Choir]
'Cause tomorrow spring is here!
[Rainbow Dash]
Bringing home the southern birds
A Pegasus' job begins
And clearing all the gloomy skies
To let the sunshine in
We move the clouds
And we melt the white snow
[Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie]
When the sun comes up
Its warmth and beauty will glow!
[Choir]
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
'Cause tomorrow spring is here!
[Rarity]
Little critters hibernate
Under the snow and ice
[Fluttershy]
We wake up all their sleepy heads
So quietly and nice
[Rarity]
We help them gather up their food
Fix their homes below
[Fluttershy]
We welcome back the southern birds
[Fluttershy and Rarity]
So their families can grow!
[Choir]
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! ([Rarity] Winter, winter)
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! ([Rarity] Winter, winter)
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! ([Rarity] Winter, winter)
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
'Cause tomorrow spring is here!
[Applejack]
No easy task to clear the ground
Plant our tiny seeds
With proper care and sunshine
Everyone it feeds
Apples, carrots, celery stalks
Colorful flowers too
We must work so very hard
[Applejack, Cherry Berry, and Golden Harvest]
It's just so much to do!
[Choir]
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
[Pinkie Pie]
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
[Choir]
'Cause tomorrow spring is here!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Now that I know what they all do
I have to find my place
And help with all of my heart
Tough task ahead I face
How will I do without my magic
Help the Earth pony way
I wanna belong so I must
Do my best today,
Do my best today!
[Choir]
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
Let's finish our holiday cheer
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!
[Twilight Sparkle]
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
'Cause tomorrow spring is here
'Cause tomorrow spring is here!
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony belongs to a team. What should I do? Where should I go?
Rainbow Dash: All right team, you're clear for takeoff.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey Twilight, what's up?
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?
Rainbow Dash: Sending off one of my flight crews to retrieve the birds that have flown south for the winter.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, can I help? How about if I help clear out the clouds?
Rainbow Dash: Um...
Twilight Sparkle: Right. No wings.
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Great, now what do we do?
Spike: I don't know about you, but I'm gonna be nappin'. [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: Come on Spike, this is serious business. Winter needs to be wrapped up, and I'm determined to do my part. Somehow.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, please tell me there's something, anything I can help you with.
Rarity: Well, how would you like to help create Ponyville's finest birds' nests?
Twilight Sparkle: Birds' nests?
Rarity: Why yes. When the weather team guides the birds back north for the spring, they'll need a place to live and lay their eggs.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rarity, that one's really beautiful.
Rarity: Oh why, thank you most sincerely. Would you like to try your hoof at a nest?
Twilight Sparkle: Would I? Yes! Where do I begin?
Rarity: Okay. Now... uh, take some of that straw and hay over there, and a little bit of branch. Now, weave them through there, yes. Uh, take some ribbon, yes, oh uh, n... not there, oooh, yes, uh, tuck it in over there, uh but be careful not to... I don't know I guess that would do... oh dear.
Twilight Sparkle: There! It looks just like... yours. Oh my.
Spike: That nest needs to be condemned.
Rarity: Oh, Spa-ha-hike, it's not so bad, ah, maybe birds can use it as a...
Spike: An outhouse?
Rarity: Spike. It's just fine. It's just a little rough around the edges. Let me lend you a hoof. Let's just untie this ribbon, and let me take out these sticks here, we'll shave this... [mumbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hw...
Spike: I think we lost her.
Rarity: Ah, and we need to weave the string...
Pinkie Pie: Hellooooooo, Twilight! Wheeeeeeee!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Pinkie Pie, you're quite the skater. Probably the best skater I've ever seen.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks Twilight, I've been doing this since I was an itty-bitty little-wittle Twinkie-Pinkie. Just comes natural. Which is probably why they designated me the lake scorer. I cut lines in the lakes with my skates. That way, when the rest of the weather team comes here to break the ice, it'll be easy as pie.
Twilight Sparkle: How clever. When the thick ice begins to melt, it'll break along the lines. Well, you sure have a lot of work ahead of you, there's quite a few lakes in Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: Ha, tell me about it. Hey, Twilight, wanna help me out?
Twilight Sparkle: Would I?
Pinkie Pie: Come on, put on those skates over there. I bet you'll be a natural too.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Yaaaaay! [cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... maybe on second thought.
Spike: What are you talking about? You said you wanted to be helpful.
Pinkie Pie: Yippie!
Spike: Now get out there.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, whoa, wow...
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, steer! Steer!
Twilight Sparkle: Yaaaaa!
Pinkie Pie: Oh boy...
[screams]
Spike: Pwuh.
Pinkie Pie: [blips]
Spike: Ha ha, you are a natural, Twilight. A natural disaster. [laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, you did a great job your first time around. I'm sure my first time was just as wobbly and bobbly and crasheriffic as yours.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Pinkie Pie: No.
Spike: [chuckles]
Pinkie Pie: But did I make you feel better?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm, yeah, I guess.
Pinkie Pie: I think you'll be super awesome at something that keeps your hooves on the ground. I know, Fluttershy could probably use your help with the critters.
Twilight Sparkle: Well... I'm pretty good with little animals. Yeah, I'll go help her.
Pinkie Pie: Uh... it's, ah, that a-way.
Twilight Sparkle: Yaaaaaa!
Spike: [chuckles]
Fluttershy: Wake up, little sleepy heads. Hope you had some wonderful dreams and restful hibernation, but it's time to get up now, spring is coming.
Hedgehogs: [yawn]
Twilight Sparkle: Awww, how cute.
Fluttershy: Aren't they? This is my favorite task the whole season, when I get to see all my little animal friends again.
Spike: Uh, what's "hibernation"?
Fluttershy: It's like a long sleep.
Spike: Long sleep?
Fluttershy: Yes. [bell rings] Wake up, little porcupines. Animals often hibernate through the winter to save their energy and eat less food.
Spike: I definitely like the idea of hibernation, uh, except for the "eat less food" part.
Porcupines: [yawn] [yelp]
Fluttershy: Oh, would you just look at all these warrens and dens? I'm worried that I won't be able to wake up every animal before spring comes.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'll help, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: You will? Oh, that would be wonderful.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's start there.
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? Wake up little friends, wherever you are. Spring is coming. [bell rings] I wonder which cute little furry creatures I've awoken.
Snakes: [hiss]
Twilight Sparkle: Waaa! Snakes! Snakes! [scream] Ugh! [grunt] [scream] Ugh!
Fluttershy: Good morning, friends.
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] All this Winter Wrap Up stuff is a lot harder than it looks.
Spike: [nasally] Right, because there's no magic. Why don't you just use magic, Twilight, and get it done the right way?
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike, I have to do it the traditional way. Ponyville has never needed magic to wrap up winter.
Spike: [nasally] Well, they never had you here before, either. Think how much quicker they could wrap up winter with your magic.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no! I'm gonna find some other way that I can help out if it kills me. [grunt]
Applejack: Keep pushin', Caramel. That's it, Bumpkin. I know it's hard work, but you guys are doin' great. Yee-haw!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Applejack. How's everything going?
Applejack: Oh, just dandy. A little slow startin', but peachy all the same. There's a lot of ground to clear, ya hear? We can't even start the plantin' and the waterin' until we git all these heap a' snow hightailed outta here.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'd like to help.
Applejack: Well, I... I dunno Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Just give me a chance.
Applejack: Well, I never turn down a hard worker, but...
Twilight Sparkle: [struggle] Ugh... [struggle] Ugh... [gasp]
Spike: Think of how much quicker they could wrap up winter with your magic.
Twilight Sparkle: I could use a come-to-life spell. Hwww... Here goes...
Applejack: Hmm. She's awful strong for such a little pony.
Spike: That's my girl, following my advice.
Applejack: And what in tarnation does that mean?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Uh-oh. Slow down. Slow down!
Spike: [yelp]
Spike and Applejack: Whoa-oa-oa!
Applejack: What's going on? Wha'd'ya do? You used magic, didn't you?
Applejack: Nuts, Twilight, you used magic.
Spike: The nerve. Can you believe her?
Applejack: That's not how we do it 'round here, Twilight, and especially not on MY FARM!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, see, I just wanted to... [whine]
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Come on out.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm a winter mess up.
Spike: Well you're good at a lot of things, just not nest-making, ice-skating, animal-waking, snow-clearing.
Twilight Sparkle: [whine] Thanks a lot for making me feel so much better.
Spike: That's what I'm here for, sister.
Applejack: Rainbow Dash, y'all on the weather team need to melt the rest of the snow here on the ground and the trees, pronto.
Rainbow Dash: Got it.
Fluttershy: Wait. My poor little animals' homes will get flooded if the snow melts too fast.
Rainbow Dash: Got it.
Applejack: I'm tellin' you, Rainbow, you gotta melt that snow now.
Fluttershy: No, you simply must wait.
Rainbow Dash: Okay.
Applejack: Go.
Fluttershy: Stop.
Applejack: Go.
Fluttershy: Stop.
Applejack: GO!
Fluttershy: STOP!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Make up your minds!
Mayor Mare: Oh! What in Equestria are all you arguing about? This sort of silliness is why we were late for spring last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.
Twilight Sparkle: Did she say late?
Mayor Mare: I was hoping my amazingly inspirational speech would urge everyone to do better than last year, but now it looks like we're going to be later than ever. I mean just look at this catastrophe. The ice scorers made the ice chunks too big to melt. The nest designer is horrendously behind, we need several hundred, and she's only made one.
Rarity: [sob]
Mayor Mare: And don't get me started on all the clouds in the sky, the icicles on the trees... This isn't good, not at all!
Applejack: And it's gonna be all to pieces disastrous if we can't get our seeds all planted.
Rainbow Dash: Chillax Applejack, we're bustin' our chops as fast as we can.
Fluttershy: No, not fast, we have to wake animals slowly.
Big McIntosh: Uh, AJ?
Applejack: Oh good gravy, Caramel lost the grass seeds again, didn't he?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Caramel: [whimpers]
Rainbowshine: [grunt] Ditzy Doo accidentally went north to get the southern birds!
Rainbow Dash: Oh that featherbrain. Didn't she learn her lesson last year when she went west?
[ponies grumble and complain]
Mayor Mare: Stop this at once. We don't have time to argue. It's almost sundown. Spring is going to be late again. Another year of scandal and shame. If only we could be more organized.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Get my checklist and clipboard, STAT!
Spike: Eh, yes, ma'am.
Twilight Sparkle: Stop, everypony!
[ponies argue]
Twilight Sparkle: Stop!
[bird chirps]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. I know you all want to complete your jobs on time, but arguing is no way to go about it. What you need is organization, and I'm just the pony for the job.
[Winter Wrap Up instrumental]
Mayor Mare: I can't believe it. Spring is here! On time! And we have you to thank for it. If it weren't for your organizing skills we would still be arguing.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: It was a team effort.
Mayor Mare: And since you helped every team, we have an official vest for you. We give you the title, "All-Team Organizer".
Twilight Sparkle: Gosh, I don't even know what to say. Thank you, everypony.
Mayor Mare: And hereby I declare that winter is... wrapped up on time.
[cheers]
Applejack: Spike's sure gonna be in for a hog-sized surprised when that last piece a' ice melts.
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
Winter Wrap Up was one of the most special things I've ever been a part of here in Ponyville. It helped me to learn we all have hidden talents, and if we're patient and diligent, we're sure to find them, and as always, with good friendship and teamwork, ponies can accomplish anything. How's that, Spike? Spike?
Spike: [snore]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. [laughter]
[music]
[credits]

Call of the Cutie

[school bell rings]
[students chatter happily]
Cheerilee: Let's quiet down please. We have a very important lesson to get to. [class quiets down] Thank you. Today we are going to be talking about cutie marks.
Diamond Tiara: Bo-ring. [sigh]
Cheerilee: You can all see my cutie mark, can't you? Like all ponies, I wasn't born with a cutie mark. My flank was blank.
Twist: Aww...! She's so precious!
Cheerilee: Then one day, when I was about your age, I woke up to find that a cutie mark had appeared.
[offscreen: Look at her hair!]
Cheerilee: Yes I know, but honestly, that's how everypony was wearing their mane back then. I had decided to become a teacher, and the flowers symbolized my hope that I could help my future students bloom if I nurture them with knowledge. The smiles represented the cheer I hope to bring to my little ponies while they were learning. Now, can anyone tell me when a pony gets his or her cutie mark?
Twist: Oh! Oh! Oh! When she discovers that certain something that makes her special!
Cheerilee: That's right, Twist. A cutie mark appears on a pony's flank when he or she finds that certain something that makes them different from every other pony. Discovering what makes you unique isn't something [Diamond Tiara: Pssst!] that happens overnight, and no amount of hoping, wishing, [Diamond Tiara: Pssst!] or begging, would make a cutie mark appear before its time.
Diamond Tiara: Pssst!
Apple Bloom: What?!
Cheerilee: Apple Bloom! Are you passing a note?
Apple Bloom: Uh, I... Um...
Cheerilee: What could be so important that it couldn't wait until after class? [gasp] It's blank.
Diamond Tiara: [laughter] Remind you of anypony? [laughter]
[students whisper]
[theme song]
[school bell rings]
[students chatter happily]
Twist: Want some sweets? I've got some peppermint sticks. I made them myself.
Apple Bloom: Mm-mm.
Twist: They'll make you smi-i-le.
Apple Bloom: No...
Diamond Tiara: I don't know why we had to sit through a lecture about getting a cutie mark. I mean, waiting for your cutie mark is sooo last week. You got yours, I just got mine. We all have them already. [gasp] I mean, almost all of us have them already. Don't worry, you two, you're still totally invited to my cute-ceañera this weekend.
Silver Spoon: It's going to be amazing.
Diamond Tiara: It's a party celebrating me and my fantastic cutie mark. How could it not be?
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Bump! Bump! Sugar-lump, rump! [laughing]
Apple Bloom: Gimme a break.
Silver Spoon: See you this weekend...
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing] Blank flanks! [laughing]
Apple Bloom: It's not fair! It's just not fair!
Applejack: Don't get your mane in a tangle. You'll get your cutie mark. Everypony gets one eventually.
Apple Bloom: But I don't want one eventually! I want one right now! I can't go to Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera without one, I just can't!
Applejack: 'Course you can. Y'know, I was the last pony in my class to get my cutie mark, and I couldn't be prouder of it. I knew my future was to run Sweet Apple Acres, and these bright shiny apples sealed the deal. [gasp] Come to think of it, Granny Smith was the last one in her class, too. Huh, same as Big McIntosh.
Apple Bloom: I really don't see how that's supposed to make me feel better. It probably means that being the last one in your class to get a cutie mark runs in the family. ...runs in the family. Runs in the family! Runs in the family! You've got apples for your cutie mark, Granny Smith has an apple pie, Big McIntosh has an apple half, my unique talent must has som'n to do with apples! Apples apples apples! [crash] Oops... apples.
Applejack: Get your delicious, nutritious apples here!
Apple Bloom: Delicious and nutritious, and so many uses! [chomp] You can eat 'em. [gulp] Play with 'em. [grunt]
[offscreen: Hey, watch it!]
Apple Bloom: Create fine art for your home with 'em. You have to be crazy not to get a bushel of your very own.
Applejack: Heh... she's so creative, heh.
Apple Bloom: You, sir, care t' buy some apples?
Dr. Hooves: No thanks.
Apple Bloom: Why not?
Dr. Hooves: I have plenty at home.
Apple Bloom: Are you sure?
Dr. Hooves: Yes, I'm pretty sure I...
Apple Bloom: You're pretty sure, but you're not absolutely positively completely super-duper sure, are you?
Dr. Hooves: Y...ah... If I buy some apples, will you please leave me alone?
Apple Bloom: All right!
Applejack: You forgot your change!
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo! That's how you sell s'm apples and get a cutie mark! So, what does my cutie mark look like? A shoppin' bag full of apples? A satisfied customer eating an apple? Hmm... maybe I gotta increase my sales figures first. You touch it, you buy it! We take cash or credit.
Applejack: I'm sorry, ma'am. Ma'am! Aww... Now Apple Bloom, you can't just...
Apple Bloom: That'll be four bits.
Sweetie Drops: I didn't put those in my bag.
Apple Bloom: Likely story. Four bits, lady!
Applejack: Apple Bloom! I am really really sorry about that. She's new. Here, take these. No charge. And these. And these.
Sweetie Drops: [groan]
Applejack: Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Apple Bloom: What?
Applejack: Sorry, little sis, but your apple-sellin' days are over.
Apple Bloom: What? But how else am I gonna get my cutie mark?
Applejack: Home. Now.
Apple Bloom: Hm!
Applejack: Ugh. Listen, sugarcube, I know it's hard to wait for your very own cutie mark, but, you just can't force it. Besides, you're not that grown-up just yet. Ain't there other fillies in your class without one?
Apple Bloom: Well... Twist doesn't have hers yet.
Applejack: Do you think you'd feel better if you went to the party with her?
Apple Bloom: Mmm-hmm.
Applejack: Well there you go. Bet you and Twist would have a great time together. Now run along and find your friend.
Apple Bloom: You're sure you don't want me to stick around 'til the end of th' market?
Ace Point: Hey! Who's been using my racket?
Applejack: Yeah. I'm sure.
[knock, knock, knock, knock]
Twist: Oh, what's up, Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: So I was thinkin'... maybe we could go to Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera together. I don't have a cutie mark, you don't have a cutie mark.
Twist: Well, um...
Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Twist: Isn't my cutie mark swell? I've always loved making my own favorite sweets, but it took me some time to discover that it was my super-special talent. Pretty sweet, huh?
Apple Bloom: Yeah, pretty... sweet.
Twist: Hey... this doesn't mean we can't go to the cute-ceañera together. You're still gonna come to the party, are you?
Diamond Tiara: Of course she will.
Silver Spoon: It's not like being the only pony there without a cutie mark would be, like, the most embarrassing thing ever. [laughter]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, looks like somepony's got a dark cloud hanging over her head. Let me do something about that. What's the matter, kid?
Apple Bloom: [inhales] There's a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I wanna get my cutie mark but I'm no good at sellin' apples but I really wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don't have my cutie mark which my big sister says I'm gonna get eventually but... I WANT IT NOW!
Rainbow Dash: Cutie mark? I can get you a cutie mark like that! [snap]
Apple Bloom: Applejack says these things take time. I have to just wait for it to happen.
Rainbow Dash: Why wait for something to happen when you can make it happen?
Apple Bloom: But Applejack says th...
Rainbow Dash: Hey, who are you gonna listen to, Applejack, or the pony who was first in her class to get a cutie mark? I always liked flying an' all, but I was going nowhere in a hurry. It wasn't until my very first race that I discovered a serious need for speed, and KAZAM, this sweet baby appeared as fast as lightning.
Rainbow Dash: That's right, stretch out those legs. Gotta be nice and loose. The key here is to try as many things as possible as quickly as possible. One of them is bound to lead to your cutie mark. Are you ready?
Apple Bloom: I'm ready!
Rainbow Dash: I said: Are! You! Ready!
Apple Bloom: I'M READY!
Rainbow Dash: Juggling, go! [whistle blows]
Apple Bloom: Ah!
Rainbow Dash: Hang-gliding, go! [whistle blows]
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Karate, go! [whistle blows]
Apple Bloom: Hi-ya! Ee...
Rainbow Dash: Kite-flying, go! [whistle blows]
Rainbow Dash: Ultrapony Roller Derby, go! [whistle blows]
Roller ponies: [growl]
Apple Bloom: Whoaaa! Whoa...
Rainbow Dash: Tried that one... tried that one... tried that one...
Silver Spoon: Your new outfit is, like, perfect for the party.
Diamond Tiara: I know. It totally shows off my cutie mark.
Silver Spoon: I love being special.
Diamond Tiara: Can you imagine how embarrassing it must be to be... not special?
Silver Spoon: I don't even want to, like, think about it.
Rainbow Dash: Tried that one... tried that one...
Apple Bloom: I'm doomed. Doomed! I'll never find sumth'n I'm good at.
Pinkie Pie: You look like you'd be good at eating cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Eatin' cupcakes?
Rainbow Dash: Eating cupcakes?
Pinkie Pie: Eating cupcaaakes!
Apple Bloom: I really appreciate all your help, Rainbow Dash. You're a really great coach and I really learned a lot from you and I'm sure I can learn a lot more but... I've got some cupcakes to eat! See you at the cute-ceañera! Hold on, Pinkie Pie, I'm comin'.
Apple Bloom: I can't believe I didn't think of this. A cupcake-eating cutie mark, it's sooo obvious. Now, where are those cupcakes? I'm ready t' chow down!
Pinkie Pie: I don't have any cupcakes.
Apple Bloom: Oh.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] But you look like you'd be good at helping me make some.
Apple Bloom: I guess, uh, making-cupcakes cutie mark could work too.
[Pinkie Pie]
All you have to do is take a cup of flour!
Add it to the mix!
Now just take a little something sweet, not sour!
A bit of salt, just a pinch!
Baking these treats is such a cinch!
Add a teaspoon of vanilla!
Add a little more, and you count to four,
And you never get your fill of...
Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty!
Cupcakes! Don't be too hasty!
Cupcakes! Cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES!
Apple Bloom: [cough] Hot, hot, hot!
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, those look much better than the last batch. [chomp] Mmm...
Apple Bloom: Ugh! I guess I'm not cut out to be a baker either. [sigh] I just have to face it, I'm gonna have a blank flank forever.
Pinkie Pie: What about that?
Apple Bloom: What about what? Is there something on my flank? Is there, is there, is there? [gasp] A cutie mark! It's a... a measuring cup? No. A mixin' bowl? No... Are those cupcakes? A tower of cupcakes maybe.
Pinkie Pie: [blow] Flour. It's flour! Yay! I guessed it. What game you wanna play next? Please say bingo, please say bingo.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, what's been going on in here?
Pinkie Pie: We've been making cupcakes, wanna try them?
Twilight Sparkle: Nnnno thank you... not that they don't look, heh, delicious.
Apple Bloom: Twilight, you have to help me!
Twilight Sparkle: What's the matter?
Apple Bloom: [inhales] Tiara's cute-ceañera's today and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I want to get my cutie mark but I'm no good at selling apples or hang-gliding or making cupcakes, but I wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don't have my cutie mark, which Pinkie Pie says I can't just make appear, but I need it to appear, right now!
Twilight Sparkle: Uhhh... I don't follow. How can I help you?
Apple Bloom: You can use your magic to make my cutie mark appear.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, Apple Bloom. A cutie mark is something a pony has to discover for herself.
Apple Bloom: Please Twilight, jus' trah.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, but-
Apple Bloom: Oh please, please, please please please!
Twilight Sparkle: All right, all right!
Apple Bloom: Oh thank you thank you thank you. [pwing] Yes! I knew you could do... it.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, sweetie, but I told you-
Apple Bloom: Try again, try again!
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
[pwing] [pwang] [pwing] [pweng] [pwung] [pwing] [pwung] [pwong] [pwing] [pwing] [pwung] [pwing]
Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Told you that not even magic can make a cutie mark appear before its time.
Apple Bloom: It's hopeless, hopeless! I just won't go to the party, I can't go. Everyone will just laugh at me and make fun of me and call me names. It will be the worst night of my life.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure it won't be as bad as all that.
Apple Bloom: Forget it, there's no way I'm going to that [gulp] party.
[ponies chatter]
Apple Bloom: How could I have forgotten the time? How could I have forgotten Pinkie Pie was hosting the party? How could I have forgotten it was at Sugarcube Corner?
Pinkie Pie: Don't forget your party hat, Forgetty Forgetterson!
Apple Bloom: I have to get out of here before anypony sees me.
Snails: [chomp]
Diamond Tiara: Hey! It's my cute-ceañera, I'm supposed to get the first bite at cake.
[pop] [pop] [pop] [pop] [pop] [pop]
Apple Bloom: Okay, Apple Bloom, almost there.
Applejack: Apple Bloom, you made it. After I heard about Twist, I was afraid you wouldn't show up. I sure am glad you came to your senses about this whole cutie mark thing. These things happen when these things are supposed to happen. Trying to rush 'em just drives you crazy. I'll let you be, looks like your friends want to talk to you.
Apple Bloom: [grunt]
Diamond Tiara: Well well well, look who's here.
Silver Spoon: Nice outfit.
Apple Bloom: Just sumt'n I, uh, pulled together last minute.
Diamond Tiara: It really shows off your cutie mark. Oh wait, that's right, you don't have one.
Apple Bloom: Uh, I have a cutie mark.
Silver Spoon: Eh, what? Since when?
Apple Bloom: Since... Um... Earlier today.
Diamond Tiara: Oh really? Let's see it.
Apple Bloom: I shouldn't. I couldn't. My cutie mark is so unbelievably amazing, I'm afraid that if I show it off, everyone will start paying attention to me instead of you. Outshined at your own cute-ceañera. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?
Diamond Tiara: Uh, forget it, I didn't really want to see it anyway.
Apple Bloom: Okay, well, I'm gonna go mingle. Enjoy your party. [sigh]
[record scratch]
[everyone gasps]
Apple Bloom: Oh no.
Silver Spoon: Wow, that is an amazing cutie mark.
Diamond Tiara: Nice try...
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Blank flank!
Scootaloo: [offscreen] You got a problem with blank flanks?
[fillies gasp]
Scootaloo: I said, you got a problem with blank flanks?
Silver Spoon: The problem is, I mean, she's like, totally not special.
Sweetie Belle: No, it means she's full of potential.
Scootaloo: It means she could be great at anything. The possibilities are, [mocking] like, endless.
Sweetie Belle: She could be a great scientist, or an amazing artist, or a famous writer. She could even be mayor of Ponyville someday.
Scootaloo: And she's not stuck being stuck-up like you two.
[ponies laugh]
Diamond Tiara: Hey, this is my party, why are you two on her side?
Scootaloo: Because...
Apple Bloom: [gasp] You don't have your cutie marks either? I thought I was the only one.
Scootaloo: We thought we were the only two.
Twilight Sparkle: I for one think you are three very lucky fillies.
Diamond Tiara: Lucky? How can they be lucky?
Twilight Sparkle: They still get to experience the thrill of discovering who they are, and what they're meant to be.
Applejack: And they got all the time in the world to figure it out, not just an afternoon.
[ponies chatter]
"Tornado Bolt": Wow, Apple Bloom, I wish I could be a scientist.
"Piña Colada": Do you really think you could be mayor?
"Coronet": Maybe I got my cutie mark too soon.
Diamond Tiara: Hey, what's everypony doing? This is my party, everypony is supposed to be paying attention to me.
Silver Spoon: Whatever. We still think you're losers, right, Diamond Tiara? Bump, bump, sugar... lump...
Diamond Tiara: Not now, Silver Spoon.
Scootaloo: Name's Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle: And I'm Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom: Apple Bloom.
[music]
Twist: This song is so super!
Apple Bloom: So I was thinking, now that we're friends... I mean, we are friends, right?
Scootaloo: How could we not be? We're totally alike. We don't have cutie marks, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon drive us crazy--
Sweetie Belle: Totally crazy.
Apple Bloom: Well, now that we're friends, what if the three of us work together to find out who we are and what we're supposed to be?
Sweetie Belle: Ooh! Ooh! We could form our own secret society.
Scootaloo: I'm liking this idea.
Apple Bloom: A secret society. Yeah. We need a name for it though.
Scootaloo: The Cutie Mark Three?
Sweetie Belle: The Cutastically Fantastics?
Apple Bloom: How about... The Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Scootaloo: It's perfect!
Sweetie Belle: This is gonna be so great!
Apple Bloom: We're gonna be unstoppable!
Scootaloo: What do you say we celebrate with some of these delicious cupcakes?
Apple Bloom: Not the cupcakes. Trust me.
Sweetie Belle: Let's see if there are any cookies.
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Come on.
Twilight Sparkle: Dearest Princess Celestia,
I am happy to report that one of your youngest subjects has learned a valuable lesson about friendship. Sometimes, the thing you think will cause you to lose friends and feel left out...
Princess Celestia: ...can actually be the thing that helps you make your closest friends and realize how special you are. Hmm...
[music]
[credits]

Fall Weather Friends

Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Whoo-hoo!
Applejack: Hoo-wee! Not a bad pitch for a pony who works with her head in the clouds.
Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah? Think you can do better, cowgirl?
Applejack: I know I can. [grunt] Oh, for Pete's sake!
Rainbow Dash: Heh! Looks like this Pegasus can pitch better than the workhorse. The object of the game is to get the closest to the stake.
Applejack: All right, all right. You got another throw there, pony girl.
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Applejack: [sarcastically] Wow, Rainbow, heh. You couldn't hit a barn door with that kind of a throw!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah. I still have the closest throw, Applesmack. Just try and beat it.
Applejack: [grunt] Yee-haw! It's a ringer. That's how you do it down here on the farm.
Rainbow Dash: I lost.
Applejack: Ah, don't feel bad, Rainbow. It's all in good fun.
Rainbow Dash: I hate losing.
Applejack: Besides, you're a mighty good athlete. I'm just better. Heh heh heh.
Rainbow Dash: All right, Applejack, you think you're the top athlete in all of Ponyville?
Applejack: Well, I was gonna say in all of Equestria, but that might be gildin' the lily.
Rainbow Dash: ...and I think I'm the top athlete. So let's prove it.
Applejack: Prove what?
Rainbow Dash: I challenge you to an Iron Pony competition. A series of athletic contests to decide who's the best, once and for all.
Applejack: You know what, Rainbow? You're on.
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: So you two are doing what, now?
Applejack: An Iron—
Rainbow Dash: Iron Pony competition.
Applejack: See, we've set up a bunch of events to decide which one of us is—
Rainbow Dash: The most athletic pony ever! [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm here to...?
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] I don't know. Why is she here?
Applejack: To be our judge and keep score.
Rainbow Dash: Right, heh. Somepony's gotta record my awesomeness for the history books. [grunt]
Spike: Hello everypony, and welcome to the first annual Iron Pony competition!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Spike, who are you talking to?
Spike: Um... Uh, them! Let the games begin!
[ponies cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Ready. Set. Go!
Applejack: [gasp] Dagnabbit.
Twilight Sparkle: Time, Spike?
Spike: 17 seconds.
Applejack: You're kiddin'! That breaks my record from last year's rodeo.
Spike: But you got a five second penalty for nudging the barrel.
Applejack: [sigh] Nuts and chews! Still, that's 22 seconds. Not too shabby. Hey, don't be nervous. Remember, it's all in good fun. Now git on up there.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready. Set. Go!
Applejack: Woo! That was some fancy hoofwork there, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: Thanks, but I [pant] couldn't have been as fast as you.
Applejack: What was the time on that, Spike?
Spike: 18 seconds!
Applejack: 18 seconds. Rainbow, are you sure you're not secretly a rodeo pony?
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash wins the barrel lead!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I can't believe I won.
Applejack: Yeah, well, don't you go gettin' used to it.
[bell rings]
[ponies cheer]
Applejack: Mighty respectable, [spit] but let me show ya how it's really done. [grunt] [bell rings]
[ponies cheer]
Applejack: Years of applebuckin'.
["Shave and a haircut"...]
[bell rings]
[..."Two bits"]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Granny Smith: Waa-hoo!
Apple Bloom: Whoo-hoo!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: Why me?
Twilight Sparkle: Go!
Spike: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-hoa! Whoa! Whoaaa! Ouch.
Rainbow Dash: Ready for another pony ride?
Spike: No.
Twilight Sparkle: Go!
Spike: Guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guh guhwhoaaaaaa!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash wins the bronco-buck.
[bell rings]
Spike: And I lose.
[ponies cheer]
Spike: Whoa! [grunt] How do I get roped into these things?
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Does this count?
[bell rings]
Applejack: [grunt]
[ponies cheer]
[bell rings]
Rainbow Dash: Yuh! [blows raspberry]
[ponies cheer]
[bell rings]
Applejack: [grunt] Wah!
[bell rings]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.
[ponies gasp]
Fluttershy: [gasp]
[bell rings]
Spike: Fillies and gentlecolts, at the halfway point, our competitors are tied at five and five.
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you talking to?
Spike: Them!
[crowd chatters]
Twilight Sparkle: 95, 96, 97, 98, 99... a hundred!
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
[bell rings]
Applejack: Be a good sport, Applejack.
Applejack: [grunt]
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
[bell rings]
[hens clucking]
[chicks chirping]
Applejack: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: All right, you two. This is the final event. Give it all you've got.
Spike: Looks like the workhorse might come out ahead in this one.
Applejack: [mumbling] That's not fair. You can't use your wings to help you win.
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Applejack: [mumbling] You're cheatin'!
Rainbow Dash: I can't understand you with that rope in your mouth.
Applejack: [spits] I said... uh-oh. [grunt]
[crowd cheers]
[bell rings]
Rainbow Dash: Whoo-hoo! I win by a landslide... or mudslide in your case. [chuckles] I am the Iron Pony!
Applejack: Only 'cause you cheated.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Applejack: You used your wingpower to help you win over half those contests.
Rainbow Dash: Sounds like sour apples to me.
Applejack: Are you sayin' you didn't use your wings?
Rainbow Dash: Well... no. But you never said I couldn't use my wings.
Applejack: I didn't think I needed to tell you to play fair.
Rainbow Dash: I still would have won even without my wings.
Applejack: Hah! Prove it.
Rainbow Dash: Gladly. How?
Applejack: Tomorrow is the annual Runnin' of the Leaves. I challenge you to race me in it.
Rainbow Dash: Heh! Easy shmeasy.
Applejack: Hold on! There is one condition: the point is to run, so no wings allowed.
Rainbow Dash: No wings? No problem.
Applejack: [spit]
Rainbow Dash: [spit]
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry]
Applejack: [chuckle]
Spike: Twilight, hurry up, we're gonna be late for the race.
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you so excited about the race? It's only for ponies.
Spike: Yeah, but I'm hoping I can be the announcer again. Just listen: Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the annual Running of the--
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to the annual Running of the Leaves! This is Pinkie Pie, your official p-eye-in-the-sky announcer.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Spike. I guess that job's already taken.
Pinkie Pie: As everypony knows, the Running is a very important tradition, for without it, the autumn leaves of Equestria would never fall. So get ready, ponies. The Running of the Leaves will begin in five minutes.
Applejack: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Pardon me, excuse me. Make way for the Iron Pony.
Applejack: The Iron Phony, you mean.
Rainbow Dash: So, Applejack, you ready to win second place?
Applejack: I'm ready to run a good, clean race.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah...
Applejack: You are not allowed to use your wings.
Rainbow Dash: I could win this race with both wings tied behind my back.
Applejack: [grunts] Trussed up like a turkey. Well, a turkey who can't fly, that is.
Rainbow Dash: Very funny.
Applejack: 'Least now we know we're racin' fair and square.
[trumpets]
Pinkie Pie: Racers! Please take your positions!
Spike: Um... Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Spike! What's up? Oh wait, it's me! I'm up! [laughs]
Spike: Uh, yeah. I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff and... I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all, but... I was just wondering...
Pinkie Pie: What?
Spike: Aw... Forget it.
Pinkie Pie: Spike! Would you like to be my co-reporter? We could comment on the action together.
Spike: We could?
Pinkie Pie: Climb on up.
Applejack: Twilight? What in tarnation are you doin' up here?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm racing.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Good one, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not joking.
Rainbow Dash: What? You're not an athlete, you're a... well... you're an egghead.
Twilight Sparkle: I am not an egghead, I am well-read.
Rainbow Dash: [softly] Egghead.
Applejack: [snickers] But have you ever run a race?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, no, but I do know a lot about running.
Rainbow Dash: And you know this from...
Twilight Sparkle: Books. I've read several on the subject.
Rainbow Dash: What'd you read, "The Egghead's Guide to Running"? Did you stretch out your eye muscles to warm up? [laugh] Get it? Eye muscles.
Twilight Sparkle: Scoff if you must, Rainbow. But the Running of the Leaves is a Ponyville tradition, and since I'm here to learn, I've decided I should experience it myself.
Applejack: Well, I think that's just dandy, Twilight. Good luck. [snickers]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. See you at the finish line... Tomorrow.
Pinkie Pie: All right, ponies, are you ready?
Spike: Get set.
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: And they're off!
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to the official coverage of the Running of the Leaves! You know, Spike, despite its name, the leaves don't do any of the actual running. No, that's left to my little ponies.
Spike: Why, yes, Pinkie, it's the running of the ponies that causes the leaves to fall.
Pinkie Pie: Ugh. Those lazy, lazy leaves. But this year, the run is about more than the weather. It's about the race to the finish and the two runners who want to win it: Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
Spike: You know, Pinkie, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they're trying to settle. Trying to prove who's the most athletic.
Pinkie Pie: Yes, and "grudge" rhymes with "fudge".
Spike: Yes, it... does. What?
Pinkie Pie: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much fudge I get a pudge and then I can't budge.
Spike: So... no fudge?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no thanks. I had a big breakfast. Let's check in with our two competitive ponies, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Having come fast out of the gate, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are evenly matched running neck and neck. But what's this? Applejack is making a move, she's now ahead by a nose. But Rainbow Dash won't let Applejack have it and takes the lead. She's ahead by half a nose. Or maybe three quarters of a nose. No, about sixty-three point seven percent of a nose... roughly speaking. Applejack sees this move and pushes forth with her strong workhorse legs slinking ahead by three hundred and fifty noses!
Applejack: Not so easy without wings, is it?
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Rainbow. Show 'em a little dash.
Spike: Ho-hold your horses, Pinkie! Rainbow Dash is catching up the frontrunner Applejack!
Pinkie Pie: What an upset. I thought Applejack had this in the bag.
Rainbow Dash: You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easily, did you?
Applejack: Whoa! I don't believe it.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, it's beautiful, isn't it?
Applejack: Not the scenery, Twilight. Rainbow Dash just tripped me.
Twilight Sparkle: She did not.
Applejack: She did too!
Twilight Sparkle: She did not, and if you slowed down and looked where you're going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock.
Applejack: What? Oh, hayseed! Now I got a lot of ground to make up to catch Rainbow.
Twilight Sparkle: Just be careful!
Applejack: See you at the finish line!
Spike: I don't believe it. After a huge setback, Applejack is back at the front of the pack.
Pinkie Pie: She's the head of the pack, all right. The pick of the litter! The cat's pajamas! Oh wait, why would Applejack take some poor kitty's PJs? That's not very sporting of her.
Spike: Oookay... Let's get back to the race.
Rainbow Dash: Not so fast, Applejack! This race isn't over yet!
Applejack: It is for you. Heh.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Guh, I don't believe it, Applejack tripped me.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't you ponies ever look where you're going? You tripped on a stump. See?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I see. A big cheater is what I see.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, Applejack would never cheat. It was just an accident.
Rainbow Dash: Sure it was. I mean, yeah, I'm sure it was.
Twilight Sparkle: Remember, Rainbow, this is just a game.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, but the rules have changed, and two can play at that game.
Pinkie Pie: Welcome back, Ponyvillians, it's me, Pinkie Pie.
Spike: And Spike. Looks like Rainbow is doing her best to catch up.
Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally, I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike?
Spike: Uh... I... like... pickles?
Pinkie Pie: Aaand it looks like Applejack has found herself in quite a pickle as Rainbow overtakes her.
Rainbow Dash: Look, ma, no wings.
Spike: As the racers enter Equestria's Whitetail Wood, Rainbow Dash is back in the lead.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
Applejack: Ugh. Hey, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry]
Applejack: [gasp] Why, that little cheater did that on purpose. It's on.
Rainbow Dash: Nice one, Rainbow.
Applejack: Later!
Rainbow Dash: [gasp] Aaa!
Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, Whitetail Wood is just lovely. Hey, Rainbow, shouldn't you be up ahead?
Rainbow Dash: [chuckling] I'm sure I'll win now.
Twilight Sparkle: Except that the other racers just passed you.
Rainbow Dash: Oh horse apples... See ya!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack, what are you doing up here?
Spike: There aren't even any trees.
Applejack: Er, no, but the sign's pointed this way... Rainbow. Mind giving me a lift?
Rainbow Dash: What the hay?! You said no flying!
Applejack: No, I said no wings.
Pinkie Pie: I must say, Spike, that this has been the most interesting Running of the Leaves in Equestria history!
Spike: With the most interesting announcing.
Pinkie Pie: But it isn't the running that's been fascinating. It's the lack of running!
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Aaa!
Applejack: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running?
Rainbow Dash: You know, I think Twilight's right.
Applejack: You do?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! If you wanna beat me, you better... RUUUN!
Pinkie Pie: Once again, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are neck and neck, jockeying for position. Applejack inches ahead, now it's Rainbow, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack--
Applejack: [grunt]
Spike: Oh no, she di'int!
Pinkie Pie: Oh yes, she di'id!
Applejack: Cut it out!
Rainbow Dash: No, you cut it out!
Applejack: You started it.
Rainbow Dash: And now I'm gonna finish it.
Applejack: Oh no, you won't.
Rainbow Dash: Oh yes, I will. [grunt] That's it! All bets are off!
Applejack: Oh no, you don't.
Pinkie Pie: It's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash--
Rainbow Dash: I won!
Applejack: No, I won!
Rainbow Dash: I won!
Spike: You tied!
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Tied?!
Applejack: For first?
Pinkie Pie: For last!
Applejack: Last?!
Rainbow Dash: Then who won?
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: You?!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, but I did get fifth place, which is rather good considering I've never run a race before.
Applejack: What? How's that even possible?
Rainbow Dash: You ran so slow, and looked at the scenery.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. I paced myself, just like my book said. Then at the end, when all the other ponies were worn out, I sprinted to the finish.
Rainbow Dash: I don't believe it. Twilight beat us.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, with all your horsing around, it was quite easy.
Applejack: You're right, Twilight. Our behavior was just terrible.
Rainbow Dash: We weren't very good sports.
Princess Celestia: Sounds to me that an important lesson was learned.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Princess Celestia?!
Applejack: W-What are you doin' here?
Princess Celestia: Fall is one of my favorite seasons, so I came to celebrate the Running of the Leaves.
Applejack: I'm sorry you had to see us being such poor sports, Princess.
Princess Celestia: That's all right, Applejack. Anypony can get swept up in the excitement of competition.
Twilight Sparkle: It's important to remember that the friendship is always more important than the competition.
Princess Celestia: Exactly, Twilight. Now, unfortunately, because the two of you were busy tricking each other instead of shaking down leaves, many of the lovely trees of Equestria are still covered.
Applejack: Why, Princess, I bet we can knock those leaves down for you lickety-split. Whaddya say, friend? Wanna go for another run?
Rainbow Dash: I'd love to stretch my legs.
[music]
[credits]

Suited For Success

Rarity: Oh, Opalescence. Can't you just picture it? Moi, stepping out in a stunning new gown at the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot!
Opalescence: [meowing]
Rarity: Why, yes! I did make it myself. Thank you so much for asking.
Opalescence: [low growl]
Rarity: Oh, Opal, of course you can help me. Thank you. What's that? You want to help me more? Oh, aren't you the sweetest thing? Careful now. Don't move. This shouldn't take long at all.
Opalescence: [low growl]
[theme song]
Applejack: Howdy, Rarity!
Twilight Sparkle: Shh... Can't you see Rarity is trying to concentrate?
Applejack: What do you think she's makin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like a dress.
Applejack: Well, that makes sense. Since this is a dressmaker's shop and all.
Rarity: Is there something I can help you with?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, so very sorry to trouble you, Rarity, but I need a quick favor. Could you please fix the button for me? It's my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.
Rarity: Oh, no, no, no! You can't wear this... old thing. You need a glamorous new outfit for the Gala and I'll make it for you. No problem at all. It will be my pleasure!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, that's really sweet of you to offer, Rarity, but I can't let you do that. It would be so much work. This dress is fine.
Rarity: Twilight Sparkle. I insist on making you a new dress.
Twilight Sparkle: But...
Rarity: Not another word! I won't take no for an answer.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, in that case... Thank you for your generosity, Rarity. Knowing your handiwork, I'm sure it will be absolutely beautiful.
Rarity: Let me guess, Applejack. You don't want a new gown either.
Applejack: Gown? Shoot. I was just gonna wear my old work duds.
Rarity: You can't possibly be serious, Applejack! You absolutely must wear formal attire.
Applejack: Hm... Nah.
Rarity: What if I just spruce up your... duds for you a little bit?
Applejack: Okay, sure. Why not? Since you're up for it and all. Just don't make them too... frou-frou-y.
Rarity: Deal!
Rainbow Dash: Look out below!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Sorry. New trick. Didn't quite work.
Rarity: Hmm... [gasp] Idea! I'll make you an outfit for the Gala too, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Outfit for the what now?
Rarity: I'll make one for you and you and all of you. Oh! And of course Pinkie and Fluttershy too. Oh, and when I'm done, we can hold our very own fashion show!
Twilight Sparkle: What a great idea! If you're sure you can handle it.
Rarity: Oh, it'll be a little bit of work, but it will be a wonderful boost for my business. Plus, fun!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I love fun things!
Rarity: Then it's settled. We'll have a fashion show starring us.
Applejack: So all you have to do is make a different, stunning, original, amazing outfit for one, two, three, four, five... plus yourself, six ponies? And lickety split?
Rarity: Oh, Applejack. You make it sound as if it's going to be hard.
[Rarity]
Thread by thread, stitching it together
Twilight's dress, cutting out the pattern snip by snip
Making sure the fabric folds nicely
It's the perfect color and so hip
Always gotta keep in mind my pacing
Making sure the clothes' correctly facing
I'm stitching Twilight's dress
Yard by yard, fussing on the details
Jewel neckline, don't you know a stitch in time saves nine?
Make her something perfect to inspire
Even though she hates formal attire
Gotta mind those intimate details
Even though she's more concerned with sales
It's Applejack's new dress
Dressmaking's easy, for Pinkie Pie something pink
Fluttershy something breezy
Blend color and form,
[To Opalescence] Do you think it looks cheesy?
Something brash, perhaps quite fetching
Hook and eye, couldn't you just simply die?
Making sure it fits forelock and crest
Don't forget some magic in the dress
Even though it rides high on the flank
Rainbow won't look like a tank
I'm stitching Rainbow's dress
Piece by piece, snip by snip
Croup, dock, haunch, shoulders, hip
Thread by thread, primmed and pressed
Yard by yard, never stressed
And that's the art of the dress!
Rarity: That's it. Keep them closed. Don't look. Okay, you can look now!
Main cast sans Rarity: [gasp]
Rarity: These are your new outfits. What do you think of your old duds now, Applejack? Pretty swanky, are they not? And Twilight! I made this dress for you and I designed each outfit theme to perfectly reflect each pony's unique personality. Oh, it took me forever to get the colors right on this one, Rainbow Dash, but I did it. Oh, and it turned out beautiful, don't you think? And I know you are going to love yours, Fluttershy. It just sings spring! And Pinkie Pie, look! Pink! Your favorite! Aren't they all amazing?
[pause]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow... They're...
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, they're...
Applejack: They sure are... somethin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Something.
Pinkie Pie: I love something! Something is my favorite!
Fluttershy: It's... nice.
Rarity: But what's the matter? Don't you like them?
Twilight Sparkle: They're very nice...
Applejack: And we're plumb grateful 'cause you worked so hard on them.
Rainbow Dash: Mine's just not as cool as I was imagining. She asked.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess what we're all saying is that they're just not what we had in mind.
[collective yeah]
Rarity: That's okay. Not a problem. There's plenty more where that came from. They were only a first pass. You're my friends and I want you to be 110% satisfied. Not to worry, I'll redo them.
Fluttershy: Oh, Rarity. You don't have to do that. They're fine.
Rarity: I want them to be better than just fine. I want you to think they're absolutely perfect.
Applejack: Are you sure? I mean, we wouldn't wanna impose.
Rarity: Oh, it's no imposition. Really, I insist.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, in that case... Thank you again, Rarity.
Rarity: What have I gotten myself into?
Fluttershy: Hello? You wanted to see me, Rarity?
Rarity: Fluttershy! Your new-new gown's ready. I completely revised it and I know you're going to love it. What do you think?
Fluttershy: I... love it.
Rarity: Oh, you're just saying that.
Fluttershy: No, no. I do. It's... nice.
Rarity: "Nice"?
Fluttershy: Nice.
Rarity: If you don't like it, you should just tell me.
Fluttershy: Oh, but I do like it.
Rarity: Like it or love it?
Fluttershy: Um... both?
Rarity: Which is it?
Fluttershy: Please stop asking me this, I...
Rarity: Well, just tell me what you really think.
Fluttershy: No, that's okay...
Rarity: Tell me.
Fluttershy: No... it's fine...
Rarity: Tell me!
Fluttershy: I... like it...
Rarity: Tell me, tell me, tell-me-tell-me-tell-me!
Fluttershy: All right! Since you really wanna know... [inhales] The armscye's tight, the middy collar doesn't go with the shawl lapel, the hems are clearly machine-stitched, the pleats are uneven, the fabric looks like toile, you used a backstitch here when it clearly called for a topstitch or maybe a traditional blanket stitch, and the overdesign is reminiscent of prêt-à-porter and not true French haute couture. [pauses] But, uh... you know... um, whatever you want to do is fine.
Twilight Sparkle: Now, the stars on my belt need to be technically accurate. Orion has three stars on his belt, not four.
[Rarity]
Stitch by stitch, stitching it together
Deadline looms, don't you know the client's always right?
Even if my fabric choice was perfect
Gotta get them all done by tonight
Pinkie Pie, that color's too obtrusive
Wait until you see it in the light
I'm sewing them together!
Pinkie Pie: Don't you think my gown would be more "me" with some lollipops?
Rarity: Well, I think...
Pinkie Pie: Balloons?
Rarity: Well...
Pinkie Pie: Do it!
[Rarity]
Hour by hour, one more change
I'm sewing them together, take great pains
Fluttershy, you're putting me in a bind
Rainbow Dash, what is on your mind?
Oh my gosh, there's simply not much time
Don't forget, Applejack's duds must shine
Dressmaking's easy, every customer's call
Brings a whole new revision
Have to pick up the pace, still hold to my vision
Twilight Sparkle: That constellation is Canis Major, not Minor.
Fluttershy: French haute couture, please.
Rarity: Ugh...
Applejack: What if it rains? Galoshes!
Pinkie Pie: More balloons! Oh no, that's too many balloons. More candy! Oh, less candy. Oh wait, I know. Streamers!
Rarity: Streamers?
Pinkie Pie: Whose dress is this?
Rarity: Streamers it is.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Rarity: Aren't you going to tell me to change something too?
Rainbow Dash: No, I just want my dress to be cool.
Rarity: Do you not like the color?
Rainbow Dash: The color's fine, just make it look cooler.
Rarity: Do you not like the shape?
Rainbow Dash: The shape's fine, just make the whole thing... you know, cooler. It needs to be about twenty percent cooler.
[Pinkie Pie]
All we ever want is indecision
[Rainbow Dash]
All we really like is what we know
[Twilight Sparkle]
Gotta balance style with adherence
[Fluttershy]
Making sure we make a good appearance
[Applejack]
Even if you simply have to fudge it
[All sans Rarity]
Make sure that it stays within our budget
[Rarity]
Got to overcome intimidation
Remember, it's all in the presentation!
Piece by piece, snip by snip
Croup, dock, haunch, shoulders, hip
Bolt by bolt, primmed and pressed
Yard by yard, always stressed
And that's the art of the dress!
Rarity: Oh, Opal. These are the ugliest dresses I've ever made.
Rarity: Okay. I did exactly what each of you asked for. Now don't hold back. Let me know what you really think.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my!
Fluttershy: It's... perfect!
Rainbow Dash: It's cool!
Applejack: Why, they're the best duds I ever did see.
All sans Rarity: It's exactly what I asked for!
Rarity: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, Rarity.
Pinkie Pie: Are you as happy with them as we are? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Rarity: Well, I'm... happy that all of you are happy. I'm just relieved to finally be done.
Spike: You are never gonna believe this! You've heard of Hoity Toity?
Twilight Sparkle: The bigwig fashion hotshot in Canterlot?
Spike: Uh-huh. He heard about your fashion show. Well, maybe I happened to mention it to him... He's coming here all the way from Canterlot to see your work, Rarity!
Applejack: Whoa, Nelly! You could sell a ton o' dresses to this guy. Your business will be boomin'!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow!
Rainbow Dash: That's so cool!
Pinkie Pie: I don't believe it!
Rarity: Hoity Toity? He's coming here? To see THESE dresses?
Spike: Yep! Get ready for all of your dreams to come true.
Rarity: Oh. [gasp] There he is! [deep breaths] Okay. Relax, Rarity. Your friends like their outfits and so will he. [squeals] What's wrong with the lights?! Oh, yes. That means the show's starting. Good.
[music]
Spike: Since the beginning of time, the elite of Equestria have longed for pony fashions that truly expressed the essence of their very souls. Patiently waiting decades -- no, centuries -- for the perfect pony gown. Today, at long last, Equestria, your wait is over! Let's hear it for the breathtaking designs of Ponyville's own Rarity!
[ponies murmuring]
Applejack: Why's everypony lookin' at us like that?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh dear.
Rainbow Dash: You think we overdid it?
Applejack: Nah. [pause] Okay, maybe a little.
Hoity Toity: Oh, those amateurish designs look like a piled-on mishmash of everything but a kitchen sink! It's a travesty is what it is. Those outfits are the ugliest things I've ever seen, oh for shame. Who is responsible for subjecting our eyes to these horrors? Not to mention wasting my valuable time.
Rarity [to Opal]: Oh! Hide me.
Spike: Come on out and take a bow, Rarity. You worked really hard for this. Yes! All right, woo-hoo! Go, Rarity!
Pinkie Pie: Rarity? You okay in there? You haven't come out for days.
Rarity: I'm never coming out! I can't show my face in Ponyville ever again! I used to be somepony. I used to be respected. I made dresses. Beautiful, beautiful dresses! But now everypony is laughing at me. I'm nothing but a laughing stock! [sobs]
Twilight Sparkle: You're not a laughing stock, Rarity...
Rainbow Dash: She kind of is.
Twilight Sparkle: Shhh! Come on out and talk to us.
Rarity: [sobbing] Leave me alone! I vant to be alone! I want to wallow in... whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in! Do ponies wallow in pity? Oh, listen to me, I don't even know what I'm supposed to wallow in! I'm so pathetic!
Twilight Sparkle: Now what do we do?
Fluttershy: Uh... panic?
Rainbow Dash: That's your answer for everything!
Applejack: Well, we can't just leave Rarity like this.
Pinkie Pie: She'll become a crazy cat lady!
Twilight Sparkle: She only has one cat.
Pinkie Pie: Give her time.
Rarity: Exile... I guess technically I'd have to move away to live in exile. Where would I go? And what would I pack? Oh, it's going to take me forever to do all of that packing. What are you supposed to pack when you go to exile? Are you supposed to pack warm?
Opalescence: [meowing]
Rarity: Huh? Opal?
Opalescence: [meowing]
Rarity: Opal, how did you get up there? Hang on, you poor dear! Mama's coming!
Rarity: Rainbow Dash?! How dare you strand my poor Opal in a tree?
Rainbow Dash: Well, how else were we gonna get you out here to show you this?
Rarity: What is it? It's not... You... [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: We all finished your dress for you.
Applejack: Thanks to Fluttershy's freaky knowledge of sewing.
Fluttershy: Do you like it?
Rarity: Like it? Like it?!
Fluttershy: Uh-uh. She doesn't like it.
Rarity: No, I don't like it.
All except Rarity: Awwww...
Rarity: I love it!
All except Rarity: Yay!
Rarity: You ponies did an amazing job. It's exactly the way I imagined it.
Fluttershy: We just followed your brilliant design.
Twilight Sparkle: Like we should have let you do for our outfits. Those first dresses you designed were perfect.
Pinkie Pie: We're so super sorry.
Rainbow Dash: You worked really hard to make our dresses exactly the way we wanted them. We all saw how well that turned out.
Rarity: Oh, I forgive you.
Applejack: Well, that's mighty big of you.
Rarity: But my whole career is still ruined!
Applejack: Oh, right. That.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe not.
Hoity Toity: All right, I haven't got all day.
Hoity Toity: Take two.
[music: Twilight's dress]
Hoity Toity: Hello... Oh, this can't be the same designer.
[music: Applejack's dress]
Hoity Toity: Simply magnificent! And I suddenly have a fierce craving for some Dutch apple pie, candied apples on a stick, apple turnovers, apple cobbler...
[music: Pinkie Pie's dress]
Hoity Toity: Brilliant!
[thunder]
[music: Rainbow Dash's dress]
Hoity Toity: Oh, spectacular!
[music: Fluttershy's dress]
Hoity Toity: Now this is a fashion show! All of these dresses are absolutely amazing. Who is responsible? Step forward, show yourself!
[music: Rarity's dress]
Hoity Toity: Brava! Brava! Magnifico! Encore!
Rarity: Oh, thank you. Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
This week, my very talented friend Rarity learned that if you try to please everypony, you often times end up pleasing nopony, especially yourself. And I learned this: when somepony offers to do you a favor, like making you a beautiful dress, you shouldn't be overly critical of something generously given to you. In other words, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. [giggles]
Hoity Toity: Rarity, my congratulations to you on a most impressive fashion debut. Would you do me the great honor of allowing me to feature your couture in my Best of the Best Boutique in Canterlot?
Rarity: [gasp]
Hoity Toity: Now, I'll need you to make a dozen of each dress for me by next Tuesday.
[music]
[credits]

Feeling Pinkie Keen

[music]
Twilight Sparkle: Tuh! Nuh! Uh! Nyuh!
[magic chimes]
Twilight Sparkle: Eyes over here, Spike!
Spike: Uh, sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: For this to work, it's crucial we keep our concentration totally on the-
Pinkie Pie: Ooh!
Spike: Nyuh!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! This magic needs our full attention to make it happen. There's no other way!
Spike: I can't help it. Look!
[various sound effects]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, never mind her. She's just being Pinkie Pie.
Spike: Super-extra Pinkie Pie today.
[eerie music plays]
Pinkie Pie: Hmm... Twitchy twitcha twitcha twitch.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie? What in the wide, wide world of Equestria are you up to?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! It's my tail! It's my tail! It's a-twitch a-twitchin'! And you know what that means!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Pinkie, I haven't the slightest idea.
Pinkie Pie: The twitchin' means my Pinkie Sense is telling me that stuff's gonna start falling! You two better duck for cover.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Pinkie, it's not gonna rain. Why, there's barely even a cloud in the-ugh!
[frog croaks]
Pinkie Pie: He just said "nice catch" in Frog.
[frog croaks]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so, so sorry. You okay, Twilight Sparkle? I just couldn't stand to see the pond getting so over-populated, what with the frogs all hopping into each other and all, so I decided to fly as many as I can on over to Froggy Bottom Bogg.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course you did.
Fluttershy: [muffled] Bye-bye!
Pinkie Pie: Um... Twilight? You gotta little somethin' on your face there.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, really? Did your Pinkie Sense tell you that, too?
Pinkie Pie: Nah! I could just see it. La-la-la-la-la...
Twilight Sparkle: C'mon, Spike, let's continue our practice session where there's a little less commotion.
Spike: Wow! That was amazing! Pinkie Pie predicted something would fall, and it did!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, come on. She said that something would fall, and a frog just happened to fall right around the same time. A coincidence, nothing else to it.
Pinkie Pie: My tail! My tail! Twitch-a-twitch! Twitch-a-twitch! Somethin' else is gonna fall!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Pinkie, please. Nothing else is gonna fa-aaah!
Spike: Oh no, Twilight fell! Is it... safe to go help her?
Pinkie Pie: It's okay, my tail stopped twitching. La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la...
Spike: Ha ha! That was amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, please.
Applejack: Uh, Twilight? Why are you hanging out in a ditch?
Spike: Because, Pinkie Pie predicted it!
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, Spike, she did not. Two coincidences in a row like this may be unlikely, but it's still easier to believe than twitchy tails that predict the future.
Applejack: [gasp] Twitchy tail? Pinkie Sense? Whoa! Nyu-uh!
Spike: Don't worry, it's safe. Prediction already came true.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, wait. Don't tell me you believe in this stuff, too?
Applejack: I know it doesn't make much sense, but those of us who have been in Ponyville a while have learned over time that, if Pinkie's a-twichin', you better listen.
Pinkie Pie: My ears are flopping! My ears are flopping!
Spike: Nyuh! What does that mean?!
Pinkie Pie: I'll start a bath for you.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? [chuckles] A bath? This thing keeps on getting more ridiculous by the minute!
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: [grumble]
Twilight Sparkle: [blows]
Pinkie Pie: Sooo, basically, it works like this: I get different, little, niggly feelings and they mean different things. Like when my back is itchy, it means it's my lucky day. And, when my knee gets pinchy, that means something scary's about to happen.
Twilight Sparkle: Is your knee pinchy now?
Pinkie Pie: No, but my shoulder's achy. That means there's an alligator in the tub.
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: [scream] How come your knee didn't get pinchy?! That isn't just scary, it's downright dangerous!
Pinkie Pie: No, it's not, silly! This is my pet alligator, Gummy. He's got no teeth. See? Haha!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, okay... I get it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I still don't believe all this... "special power" stuff. It's just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.
Pinkie Pie: What's not to believe? You do magic, what's the difference?
Twilight Sparkle: Huge! For one thing, [clears throat] magic is something you study and practice. It only happens when you decide to do it, and it's meant to make something specific that you choose to happen, happen. With you, uh, it makes no sense at all!
Pinkie Pie: That's so not true, Twilight! Sometimes it's a bunch of random things happening to my body at random times that supposedly predict the future. I call 'em "combos".
Twilight Sparkle: Combos?
Pinkie Pie: Sure! You know, like, ear flop, then knee twitch, then eye flutter. That means the sky is about to be graced with a beautiful rainbow!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, sure.
Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh, I feel a combo coming on. Ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh!
[beeping noises of a truck backing up]
Twilight Sparkle: Ughhh... You said that combo meant "beautiful rainbow".
Pinkie Pie: Oh no-no-no-no-no. You're thinking of an ear flop, then knee twitch, then eye flutter. This was an ear flop, then eye flutter, then knee twitch. That usually means "look out for opening doors". You okay?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't believe this.
Pinkie Pie: You don't believe because you don't understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm...
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Now when you get another twitch, we'll have all kinds of scientific information.
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie-lokie!
[steam stack whistling periodically]
Twilight Sparkle: Any twitches yet?
Pinkie Pie: Nopey-dopey!
Twilight Sparkle: Now? Anything?
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Hold on! Uhh, no.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding me?! After a whole day of nonstop twitching, now that I've got you all hooked up, you're not getting a single one?
Pinkie Pie: I don't control it, they just come and go.
Twilight Sparkle: That makes no sense!
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes you just have to believe in things, even when you can't figure 'em out.
Twilight Sparkle: I will not believe in anything I cannot explain.
Pinkie Pie: Wait, hold on, I'm feeling something...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my gosh, what? What is it?!
[Pinkie Pie's stomach growls]
Pinkie Pie: It's my tummy! That usually means I'm hungry! Let's eat!
Twilight Sparkle: Urgh... You know what? [bite] [snap] Just forget it! I don't need to know if this is real or not. I don't need to understand it! I don't even care!
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie-lokie. [gasp] Uh-oh. [gasp] Hu-bu-bu-bu-buh!
[smash]
Spike: Pinkie? Have you seen Twilight?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh.
Spike: Twilight? What are ya doing back there?
Twilight Sparkle: Rrrrgh... Did you two plan this?
Spike: Plan what?
Twilight Sparkle: Urgh! This is ridiculous. This can't be happening. This makes no sense. I have to figure this out.
[frog croaks]
[frogs croaking]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling] [sniff] Mmm... [giggling]
[tribal music]
Spike: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Ah!
Spike: Whoa-oh-uh!
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, Spike, don't you know better than to sneak up on ponies?
Spike: Oh, sorry, but, um, well, isn't that what you're doing?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] No! I'm doing scientific research. I'm observing Pinkie Pie, scientific name: Pinkius Pieicus, in its natural habitat.
Spike: Pinkius-whoicus? Hh!
Twilight Sparkle: There's something fishy going on with the whole twitchy prediction thing, and I'm getting to the bottom of it. So, shh. Come on, Pinkius Pieicus is on the move.
Pinkie Pie: [humming]
Twilight Sparkle: Hm... Itchy nose...
Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Aha! That makes no sense. See? She's hiding like something's about to fall from the sky, but a twitchy tail means something's gonna fall from the sky, not an itchy nose.
[theremin music]
[swarm of bees buzzing]
Twilight Sparkle: This proves...
Spike: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: ...perhaps conclusively, that—
Spike: Gah!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Where are you going? I'm trying to teach you the value of scientific—
[swarm buzzing]
[comical "sting" noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Ow! Ouch! Ow! [whimper]
Spike: What's she doing now?
Twilight Sparkle: Smelling a flower.
Spike: Holy guacamole! I wonder what that means?
Twilight Sparkle: Probably that the flower smells good. Wait. I'm getting something. Ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch.
Spike: Hold on... You told me that's the combo that says "watch out for opening doors"!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh-ho. You really, really believe this stuff, don't you? Here, let me show you there's nothing to be afraid of. You see? I promise you there's nothing to fear from that— Wo-o-ah! Ow! Ugh! Ow! Ow!
Applejack: Twilight! You came to visit my new apple cellar, how nice. Twi? You okay? Uh, Twi?
Spike: Here, let me help you.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, take this down: twitchy tail.
Spike: Twitchy tail? [gasp] Twitchy tail!
[theremin music, growing louder]
Twilight Sparkle: Hush, Spike! We can't let Pinkie know we're here, remember?
Spike: Something's gonna fall, something's gonna fall! Run for your lives. Ah-ha-ha!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, Spike honestly, you're overreact—
[crack]
[clang]
[smash]
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh!
Pinkie Pie: [humming] Hey, Applejack. Whatcha doin'?
Applejack: Takin' more apples to my new apple cellar. How 'bout you, Pinkie? Whatchu doin'?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, letting Twilight secretly follow me all day without me knowing.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean you knew all along?! Why didn't you tell me?
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Silly, that would've spoiled the secret!
Twilight Sparkle: Urgh!
Spike: Tail... still twitching?
Pinkie Pie: All done, clear skies from here on in, as far as I can tell— Hu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu!
Spike: Oh no! What does that one mean?
Pinkie Pie: Dunno, never gotten any like it before, but whatever that shudder's about, it's a doozy. Something you'd never expect to happen is gonna happen! Hu-bu-bu-bu-bu hu-bu-bu-bu! And it's gonna happen... at Froggy Bottom Bogg!
Applejack: [gasp] That's where Fluttershy's headed!
Spike: Oh no! Is it about her?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I'm not sure.
Applejack: We better go and make sure she's okay.
Twilight Sparkle: Calm down, everypony. All we know right now is that Pinkie Pie just got a case of the shivers. That's all.
Spike: Guh— Hey! I thought you didn't believe in this stuff?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't. I just want to be there to see the look on Pinkie's face when we find out nothing's wrong.
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie!
[gate creaks]
[frogs croak]
Pinkie Pie: [shivers] Hu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu!
Twilight Sparkle: Cold? Need a jacket or something?
Pinkie Pie: No thanks, I'm fine. [shivers] Hu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu!
Spike: So... Whadda'ya think happened to Fluttershy?
Applejack: I hope nothin'.
Spike: I know, but, whadda'ya think happened?
Applejack: I'm tryin' not to think about it.
Spike: Me too. But I'm thinkin' about it anyway. Like, what if she exploded?
Applejack: Just exploded? For no reason?
Spike: Yeah, like boom!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
Spike: I know.
Pinkie Pie: What if... What if she exploded, and then... and then exploded again!?
Spike: Can you do that? Can you explode twice?
Applejack: Of course not.
Spike: But what if she exploded, and exploded again, and then— ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: Will you two stop? She's fine, I'm sure of it.
Applejack: I hope you're right, for Fluttershy's sake. Look! There's Froggy Bottom Bogg!
[dragonfly buzzing]
Applejack: Fluttershy?
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy? [gasp]
Spike: Fluttershy! You're okay!
Fluttershy: Of course.
Applejack: Phew, what a relief.
Pinkie Pie: I'm so glad everything's all right.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, I know it's not nice to gloat but... Aha! I told you there was nothing to worry about, and I was right. Pinkie Pie said whatever she was shuddering about was a [cough] doozy, and [cough] and the only [cough] doozy here is how right I am.
Applejack: Um... Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie's made a lot of predictions today but [cough] ugh, what is that smell? But what we've shown here is that there's no point in believing [cough] in anything you can't see for yourself.
Spike: W-Well t-then, s-see what's b-b-behind you, Twilight!
[hydra growls]
Twilight Sparkle: I see it... but I don't believe it!
[hydra roars]
Pinkie Pie: Is that a hydra?!
Applejack: Who cares? Run!
[ponies screaming]
Pinkie Pie: [whimper]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! Come on!
Pinkie Pie: Ooph! [pant]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so sorry.
[hydra roars]
Fluttershy: Ah!
[hydra head laughs]
[ponies and Spike screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony up that hill!
Spike: He-e-elp!
Twilight Sparkle: Coming, Spike! Hang on!
[hydra growls]
Twilight Sparkle: I think we're gonna make it.
Spike: But Pinkie's still shuddering!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, lookie there, it stopped. O-h-h-h, t-h-e-r-e i-t i-s a-g-a-i-n!
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, he'll be up here in no time! Quick, one at a time, cross!
Spike: Nyu-uh! Uh, do you know any spells for turning a hydra into a mouse?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Spike: How about a squirrel?
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Spike: How 'bout—
Twilight Sparkle: No small rodents of any kind!
Spike: That's too bad.
Fluttershy: A hop, skip, and a... jump!
Spike: Whoa-ho!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
Applejack: [grunt]
Twilight: He's too close. I'll distract him. You two go, now!
[whoosh]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh... What would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do? Chaaarge!
[hydra chirps]
[smack]
Pinkie Pie: T-T-T-Twilight!
[hydra chirps]
[crash]
[crumble]
[ponies gasp]
[hydra roars]
Pinkie Pie: T-T-T-Twilight! You have to jump!
Twilight Sparkle: I'll never make it!
Pinkie Pie: You'll be fine!
Twilight Sparkle: I will not!
[hydra roars]
Pinkie Pie: It's your only ho-o-ope! You have to take a leap of faith!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Y-ugh! No! Oh no! Noooo! WA-A-A-AH! Ugh! Blegh!
[ponies cheer]
Pinkie Pie: I knew you could do it, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know how it happened; coincidence, dumb luck, or what, but you said there'd be a doozy here at Froggy Bottom Bogg, and I'd say we just had ourselves one heck of a doozy. I mean that hydra—
Pinkie Pie: [shudders]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: That wasn't it.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Spike: What wasn't what?
Applejack: What are you talking about, Pink?
Pinkie Pie: The hydra wasn't the doozy.
[hydra blows raspberry]
Pinkie Pie: I'm still getting the shudders. Oo-o-oh, oo-o-oh! You see? There it is again. Whatever the doozy was at Froggy Bottom Bogg, my Pinkie Sense says it still hasn't happened.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? But I— WHAT?! The hydra wasn't the doozy?! How could it not be the doozy?! What could be doozier than that?!
Pinkie Pie: Dunno, but it just wasn't it.
[kettle whistles]
Twilight Sparkle: Rrrgh... [flames and growls] Ooh... I give up...
Spike: Give what up, Twi?
Twilight Sparkle: The fight. I can't fight it anymore. I don't understand how, why, or what, but Pinkie Sense somehow... makes sense. I don't see how it does, but it just does. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean it's not true.
Pinkie Pie: Y-Y-Y-You m-m-mean you b-b-b-believe?
Twilight Sparkle: Yup, I guess I do.
Pinkie Pie: Oo-woo-oo-oo-oo, woo-oo-oo-oo-oh, woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh! Ooh! [gasp] That was it! That's the doozy!
Spike: Bbrrbbrrbbrr.
Twilight Sparkle: What? What is?
Pinkie Pie: You believing! I never expected that to happen! That was the doozy, oh and, oh what a doozy of a doozy it was! La-la-la-la-la...
[giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good, Spike, you're here. Take a letter.
Spike: With pleasure, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia, I'm happy to report that— Spike, what have I been saying about focus?
Spike: I know, but I... Well...
Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong, Spike? Never thought you'd see me with an umbrella hat on?
Spike: Not really, no.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie's tail's a-twitchin'. What else can I do?
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: I am happy to report that I now realize there are wonderful things in this world you just can't explain, but that doesn't necessarily make them any less true. It just means you have to choose to believe in them, and sometimes it takes a friend to show you the way.
Pinkie Pie: Honk!
Spike: Honk.
Twilight Sparkle: Always your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
Pinkie Pie: There it goes again.
Twilight Sparkle: I wonder what's gonna drop outta the sky this time?
Pinkie Pie: You never know.
Spike: [inhales]
[jet engine sound]
[crash]
Spike: Twitchy tail? Holy guacamole!
[music]
[credits]

Sonic Rainboom

Rainbow Dash: Now, what have we learned?
Fluttershy: Loss of control.
Rainbow Dash: Good.
Fluttershy: Screaming and hollering.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, and most importantly?
Fluttershy: Passion!
Rainbow Dash: Right! So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one.
Fluttershy: [inhales] Yay.
Rainbow Dash: ... Ugh. You're gonna cheer for me like that? Louder.
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: Louder!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: Louder!
Fluttershy: [deep breath] [quietly] Yaaay.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh...
[thud]
Fluttershy: Too loud?
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: [deep breath] And now, phase one of my routine.
Fluttershy: Wooo.
Rainbow Dash: Phase two.
Fluttershy: Way to go.
Rainbow Dash: Here we go. Phase three. The sonic rainboom. C'mon! [grunt] Uh-oh. [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Last one. Thank you so much for helping me clean up all these books, guys. It was a crazy week of studying.
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunt]
Pinkie Pie: [grunt]
Applejack: [grunt]
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, you rock! Woohoo. [gasp] Did my cheering do that?
Rainbow Dash: Hehe. Sorry about that ladies. That was a truly feeble performance.
Fluttershy: Actually, it wasn't all bad. I particularly liked it when you made the clouds spin.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. I'm not talking about my performance, I'm talking about yours. That feeble cheering!
Twilight Sparkle: What are you two arguing about?
Fluttershy: Were we arguing? I'm sorry.
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] I wish you guys could come to Cloudsdale to see me compete in the Best Young Flyer Competition.
Twilight Sparkle: What's that?
Pinkie Pie: It's where all the greatest Pegasus flyers get together and show off their different flying styles! Some are fast! [makes car sounds] And some are graceful. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Applejack: Golly. I'd love to see you strut yer stuff in that competition.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. I wish you guys could be there. Fluttershy's a great support, but her cheering isn't exactly inspirational.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I'd love to see you make a sonic rainboom! It's like, the most coolest thing ever! Even though I've never actually seen it, but I mean come on! It's a sonic rainboom! How not cool could it possibly not be?!
Twilight Sparkle: What's a sonic rainboom?
Pinkie Pie: You really need to get out more. The sonic rainboom is legendary! When a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash gets going sooo fast... Boom! A sonic boom and a rainbow can happen all at once!
Applejack: And Rainbow Dash here's the only pony to ever pull it off!
Rainbow Dash: It was a long time ago... I was just a filly.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, but you're gonna do it again, right?
Rainbow Dash: Are... you kidding? I'm the greatest flyer to ever come out of Cloudsdale! I could do sonic rainbooms in my sleep.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. If you pull that off, you'll win the crown for sure!
Rainbow Dash: The grand prize is an entire day with the Wonderbolts. A whole day of flying with my lifelong heroes... It'll be a dream come true!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna go rest up. Don't wanna over prepare myself, y'know. Hehe. You, on the other hand, better keep practicing. I need a cheering section to match my spectacular performance.
Fluttershy: She's practiced that move a hundred times, and she's never even come close to doing it. I don't know if I can cheer loud enough to help her.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, guess we better get this cleaned up... again.
Rarity: Go on, go on.
Twilight Sparkle: Go on what?
Rarity: Find a spell that will get us wingless ponies into Cloudsdale. Didn't you see how nervous she was?
Applejack: Nervous? Have you spit yer bit or somethin'? She was tootin' her own horn louder than the brass section of a marching band!
Rarity: Oh, puh-lease. I have put on enough fashion shows to recognize stage fright when I see it. We've got to find a way to be there for her. Now go on!
Twilight Sparkle: Owaa! Ugh. How am I supposed to find a flight spell in this mess?
Pinkie Pie: A flight spell? One sec. Page twenty-seven.
Applejack: How'd you do that?
Pinkie Pie: It landed on my face when Rainbow Dash knocked me into the bookcase.
Twilight Sparkle: Here it is! A spell that will allow Earth ponies to fly for three days. Ooh, it looks really difficult... I'm not sure I can do it.
Rarity: You've got to try!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay... But who's gonna volunteer to be the test subject?
Rarity: I will! For Rainbow Dash, I will go first.
Twilight Sparkle: Here goes. [grunts] [screams]
Applejack: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: I think it worked!
Rainbow Dash: You've got to learn to be assertive, Fluttershy. Don't be afraid to speak up.
"Dumb-Bell": Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Hoops: It's our old friend Rainbow Crash!
"Dumb-Bell": Get kicked outta any flight schools lately?
"Dumb-Bell", Hoops, and "Score": [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: I didn't get kicked out.
"Dumb-Bell": Face it, Rainbow Crash. Flight school had too many rules, and not enough naptimes for you.
Hoops: Huh, ask her about the sonic rainboom.
"Dumb-Bell": That's nothing but an old mare's tale. You don't have the skills to try something like that.
Fluttershy: Now wait just a minute! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be more assertive. Anyhow... She is going to do a sonic rainboom!
"Dumb-Bell": No she's not, 'cause there's no such thing!
Fluttershy: Then show up at the Cloudeseum and see for yourself! ...If you're free.
"Dumb-Bell", Hoops, and "Score": [laughs]
Hoops: [within laughter] Yeah, I'll be free.
"Dumb-Bell": Oh, don't worry. We'll be there!
Hoops: See you then, Rainbow Crash!
Fluttershy: Did you see that? I was so assertive!
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] Those guys are right. I'll never be able to do it.
Fluttershy: But Rainbow Dash, just because you've failed the sonic rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium, full of impatient, super-critical sportsfan ponies.
Rainbow Dash: Aaaaaah! What do I do?! Everypony's gonna see me fail! The Wonderbolts will never let a loser like me join. Princess Celestia will probably banish me to the Everfree Forest! My life is ruined!
Fluttershy: Rare...
Rainbow Dash: Rare?! The sonic rainboom is way more than rare!
Fluttershy: Rarity?
Rainbow Dash: Rarity! Are you... flying?!
Rarity: I most certainly am! Aren't my wings smashing?! Twilight made them for me. I just adore them! Why so shocked? We couldn't leave our favorite flyer without a big cheering section!
Rainbow Dash: "We"? I... I can't believe it!
Fluttershy: It's incredible!
Rainbow Dash: This is so cool! You guys made it!
Pinkie Pie: Sure did!
Rainbow Dash: Wait! How'd you do that? Only Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds.
Pinkie Pie: Haha. Pretty cool, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: I found a spell that makes temporary wings, but it was too difficult to do more than once. So I found an easier spell that lets the rest of us walk on clouds.
Applejack: And we came to cheer you to victory!
Rainbow Dash: To be honest, I was starting to get just the teeniest, tiniest bit nervous. But I feel a lot better now that you guys are here. Hey, we've got some time before the competition. Why don't Fluttershy and I show you around Cloudsdale?
Rarity, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie: Yes!
Rainbow Dash: Here it is: the greatest city in the sky!
Group: Oooh! Aaah!
Rarity: [in mirror] Oooh! Aaah!
Rainbow Dash: Uhh... Some of the greatest Pegasi in history came from Cloudsdale!
Rarity: Oh, wait for me!
[jackhammer sounds]
Steam Roller: Those wings are gorgeous!
Rarity: Why, thank you!
Twilight Sparkle: Be careful with those wings, Rarity. They're made from gossamer and morning dew, and they're incredibly delicate.
Rarity: Don't worry, Twilight. I'm sure they can't get worn out from too much attention.
Applejack: Since we're up here, I'd sure like to get a look at where the weather's made.
Rainbow Dash: Great idea! C'mon, girls. To the weather factory!
[thunder]
Rainbow Dash: This is where they make the snowflakes. Each one is hoofmade. As you can see, it's a delicate operation.
Rarity: [gasp] Ooh, the snowflakes look even better from up here.
[snowflake workers grumbling and yelling]
Rainbow Dash: We better move on before Rarity ruins winter and causes a drought.
Rainbow Dash: And here's where they make the rainbows!
Pinkie Pie: [slurp] [pants] Spicyyyyyy!...
Applejack: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, rainbows aren't really known for their flavor.
"Dumb-Bell": Whoa! Oh, where'd you get those amazing wings? I want a pair!
Rarity: Hmm... Yeah, I guess I could see that.
"Dumb-Bell": Oh, hey look, it's Rainbow Crash again!
Hoops: Heheheyeah! Rainbow... Umm... Eyah... Crash!
Rainbow Dash: Rarity! What're you doing talking to these guys?
Rarity: Oh, they were just admiring my wings, Rainbow Dash.
"Dumb-Bell": Yeah, you should forget the sonic rainboom and just get yourself some wings like these!
"Dumb-Bell", Hoops, and "Score": [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Oohh...
Fluttershy: Uhh... C'mon, girls. Why don't we go see how clouds are made? Don't listen to them. You're gonna win that competition for sure!
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? I can't do the sonic rainboom, and just look at these boring, plain old feathered wings. I'm doomed!
[group of workers awing at Rarity]
Rarity: What, these old things? Go ahead, everypony. Photos are encouraged.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, we're supposed to be helping Rainbow Dash relax, remember? Put your wings away and stop showing off!
Rarity: Oh, pfft. How can you ask me to put away perfection?
[workers awing]
Rarity: Waa-haa-haa!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, are you okay? You don't look so good.
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Of course! Why wouldn't I be okay? Everyone's so in love with Rarity's wings that they won't even notice when I totally blow it in the Best Young Flyer's Competition.
Rainbowshine: Hey! There's an idea! YOU should enter the competition!
Foggy Fleece: Yeah! I could watch you fly all day long!
Rarity: There really isn't anypony who uses their wings quite like me. Perhaps I should compete.
Rainbow Dash: WHAT?!
[workers continue awing at Rarity]
Rainbow Dash: What am I gonna DO?! I'll never win the competition now...
[trumpet fanfare]
[crowd cheering]
[knock, knock, knock]
Rarity: I'm going to be a while!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
"Dumb-Bell", Hoops, and "Score": [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: [gulp]
Madden: Fillies and gentlecolts! Please rise and join me in welcoming our beloved Princess Celestia!
[fanfare and applause]
Madden: Please welcome our celebrity judges for the Best Young Flyer Competition: the Wonderbolts!
[crowd cheering]
Madden: And now, let's find out who will take the prize as this year's best young flyer!
Lucy Packard: Okay, contestant number one, you're up.
Rainbow Dash: Eyah!
Lucy Packard: Okay, number two, let's go.
Rainbow Dash: Umm...
Lucy Packard: C'mon, c'mon, we ain't got all day!
Rainbow Dash: She's talking to you!
Dr. Hooves: Oh. Umm... Oh, I guess that's me!
Lucy Packard: Okay, number four, time to go.
Rarity: I'm number four, and I need just one more itsy-bitsy minute. Be a dear and have somepony go ahead of me, hmm?
Lucy Packard: Look, I don't care who it is, but somepony's gotta go on!
Meadow Song: Let's do this!
Rainbow Dash: Uhh... What am I gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: I loved number seven. Doing fifteen barrel rolls in a row can't be easy.
Fluttershy: My favorite is number ten. She just looked like such a nice pony.
Applejack: Hmm... Wonder how come we haven't seen Rainbow Dash or Rarity yet. The competition's almost over.
Lucy Packard: Number fifteen, let's go!
Rarity: Rarity... is ready!
Lucy Packard: Look, ladies. I don't know what to tell you. There's only time for one more performance. If you both want to compete, you'll just have to go out there together!
Rarity: Well, Rainbow Dash? Shall we?
Rainbow Dash: [scared babbling]
Madden: And now, for our final competitor of the day, contestant number fifteen! Uhh... And apparently contestant number four...
[crowd cheering]
Rarity: Good luck, Rainbow Dash. Just do your best. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of changing our music. That "rock and roll" doesn't really match my wings.
[classical music]
Rainbow Dash: [gulp] C'mon, Rainbow Dash. You can do this. Just remember the routine. Phase one.
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Oof. Waaah!
Hoops: Nice work, Rainbow Crash!
"Dumb-Bell", Hoops and "Score": [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Time for phase two.
Fluttershy: Look! Phase two is working.
[ponies cheering]
Princess Celestia: [gasp]
Rarity: And now for my grand finale. I will fly right up to the sun and beam my beautiful wings over the whole city of Cloudsdale! [gasp and squeal] They'll be talking about it for years!
Rainbow Dash: Looks like this is my last chance to turn things around. Phase three. The sonic [gulp] rainboom. Wings, don't fail me now!
[crowd gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Rarity: [panting] Look upon me, Equestria, for I... am... Rarity!
[crowd oohs]
Rarity: Uh-oh. [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! Her wings evaporated into thin air!
Rarity: [screams]
Misty Fly: Ooh!
Soarin: Aah!
Spitfire: Uuh!
Rarity: [continues screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Hold on, Rarity! I'm coming!
Rarity: [more screaming]
Fluttershy: Oh, I can't look!
Rarity: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Fluttershy: A sonic rainboom! She did it! She did it! Wooo!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa.
[crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: A sonic rainboom! Wooo! Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: I did it. I did it!
Rarity: [sigh] You sure did. Oh thank you, Rainbow Dash. You saved my life!
Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah. I did that too. Ha, best day ever!
Rarity: I want to apologize to all of you for getting so carried away with my... beautiful wings. I guess I just lost my head.
Fluttershy: It's okay.
Applejack: Oh, don't worry about it, kiddo.
Pinkie Pie: We still love you.
Rarity: And I'm especially sorry that I was so thoughtless as to jump into the contest at the last minute after you had worked so hard to win it. Can you ever ever forgive me?
Rainbow Dash: Aw, it's okay. Everything turned out all right, right? I just wish I could have met the Wonderbolts when they were awake. [gasp] Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
Spitfire: So you're the little pony who saved our lives. We really wanted to meet you, and say thanks.
Rainbow Dash: Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess.
Princess Celestia: Hello, Twilight Sparkle, and hello to your friends too.
Rarity: Princess Celestia, I am sorry I ruined the competition. Rainbow Dash here really is the best flyer in Equestria.
Princess Celestia: I know she is, my dear. That's why, for her incredible act of bravery and her spectacular sonic rainboom, I'm presenting the grand prize for Best Young Flyer to this year's winner, Miss Rainbow Dash!
[crowd cheers]
Rainbow Dash: Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!
Princess Celestia: So Twilight Sparkle, did you learn anything about friendship from this experience?
Twilight Sparkle: I did Princess, but I think Rarity learned even more than me.
Rarity: I certainly did. I learned how important it is to keep your hooves on the ground, and be there for your friends.
Princess Celestia: Excellent. Well done, Rarity.
Rainbow Dash: This really is the best day ever!
"Dumb-Bell": Uhh, hey, Rainbow Crash.
Hoops: Dash!
"Dumb-Bell": Oh! Uhh... Sorry. Rainbow Dash. Uhh, we just wanted to congratulate you on winning the competition.
Hoops: That sonic rainboom was awesome!
Rainbow Dash: Heh, thanks, guys.
"Dumb-Bell": Uhh, we're really sorry we gave you such a hard time before.
Rainbow Dash: Aww, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
"Dumb-Bell": Hey. Do you want to hang out with us? Maybe you could show us how you did that incredible trick!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, boys... But I've got plans!
[music]
[credits]

Stare Master

Rarity: Where'd I put that? Ohh, I thought I already...
[clatter]
Rarity: Ohh, and I can't forget I've got to... oh, how am I ever gonna get this done?
Sweetie Belle: Are you sure I can't help? I could—
Rarity: No!
Sweetie Belle: Maybe just a—
Rarity: No thanks!
Sweetie Belle: How about—
Rarity: Just stand over there.
Sweetie Belle: But—
Rarity: Where you'll be out of the way. Ribbon, ribbon! Where's the ribbon?!
Sweetie Belle: I got it!
[creaking]
Sweetie Belle: Whoa!
Rarity: [gasps]
[clattering noises]
Rarity: Aah!
[crashing noises]
Sweetie Belle: Um, I-I'll just go and stand over there, where I'll be... out of the way.
[zip sound]
Rarity: [sigh]
[theme song]
Sweetie Belle: Won't you at least let me help you clean up?
Rarity: No. You've helped me quite enough.
Sweetie Belle: I'm sorry, sis! I just thought that if I could help, I might find my special gift and finally earn my cutie mark.
Rarity: I understand. It's just that... I need this time to fill this order without any... complications. Okay, all done. Now, back to work. I've lost a lot of time, and I cannot have any more interruptions.
[doorbell rings]
Rarity: Oh, what now?!
Fluttershy: Oh, sorry. I thought the "open" sign meant you were open, but I must have been mistaken.
Rarity: [gasps] Fluttershy! Forgive me! I was so wrapped up in my work that I forgot you were bringing Opalescence back from her grooming!
Fluttershy: No worries, Rarity. I've left her there in the basket.
Opalescence: [purrs]
Rarity: Oh, she looks great! I just don't understand how you're able to do it! I can't get near her without getting a swipe from her claws.
Opalescence: [hiss!]
Rarity: Ahh! Did you use... the Stare on her?
Fluttershy: Oh, no! I wouldn't! I couldn't! I-I don't really have any control over when that happens. I-It just happens. No, I'm just good with animals. It's my special gift, you know?
Rarity: Well, you should have a picture of Opal as a cutie mark instead of those butterflies.
Sweetie Belle: Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Maybe I can be good with animals, too!
[shing!]
Sweetie Belle: Or not.
Fluttershy and Rarity: [laughs]
Rarity: I'm sorry I can't invite you to stay and chat, Fluttershy. I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew with this order.
Sweetie Belle: But you're not eating anything.
Rarity: No, Sweetie, it's an expression. It means that I've taken on more work than I can handle. I've got twenty of these special robes to make tonight! They're due in Trottingham tomorrow morning.
[twinkling]
Fluttershy: [gasp]
Rarity: See? I've lined them in a special gold silk. It took so long to make, but I think it adds just the right touch, don't you?
Fluttershy: These are lovely, but twenty by tonight? How will you get it all done?
Rarity: Well, I, uh...
Sweetie Belle: Oh, oh, oh! Maybe I could... just... just stand over here and watch.
Rarity: I'll manage.
Fluttershy: Well, maybe I should get out of your mane so you can work.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Hi, Fluttershy! Hi, Rarity!
Rarity: Hello, uh, girls...
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Hey, Sweetie Belle!
Sweetie Belle: Scootaloo! Apple Bloom!
Scootaloo: You ready for tonight?
Sweetie Belle: Yup! Cutie mark planning session is a go!
Apple Bloom: Tonight is the night we each try to find our own special talent.
Scootaloo: Even if it takes us all night!
Apple Bloom: I'm ready! You ready?
Scootaloo: Very ready!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover at Rarity's! Yay!
Sweetie Belle: And... look what I made us!
[trumpet flourish]
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Oh, wow! [laughter, gasps] That's so cool! Oooh!
Fluttershy: What does that patch on your cape mean?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: The Cutie Mark Crusaders! Yay!
Scootaloo: We're on a crusade, a mission!
Apple Bloom: To find our cutie marks!
Sweetie Belle: Yup. And look. I lined them with this special gold silk. It took sooo long to make, but I think it adds just the right touch, don't you?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Oooooh!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle! What have you done? That was the last of the gold silk! Oh, now I'll have to make more! Oh, I hope I can make more. I'm gonna have to work all night! Which means... Sorry, girls, I'm afraid the Crusaders sleepover is cancelled.
Sweetie Belle: What?!
Rarity: I just won't have any time to watch you if I want to get these robes delivered on time.
Sweetie Belle: But—
Rarity: No buts this time. I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle. It's just the way it has to be.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Awwww...
Fluttershy: I, uh, I suppose I could take them for the night.
Rarity: I couldn't ask you to do that.
Fluttershy: Oh, it's no problem at all.
Rarity: Have you met my sister and her friends? A problem is all it would be.
Fluttershy: Did I have a problem with Opal? You've seen how well I handle small creatures!
Rarity: I suppose that's true... and I do have a lot of work to do...
Fluttershy: Come on, it'll be fun.
Rarity: I assure you, they're quite a handful.
Fluttershy: These sweet little angels?
Rarity: Well... all right.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover at Fluttershy's cottage! Yay!
Fluttershy: So cute. W-wait for me!
Rarity: Hmmm...
Fluttershy: Oh, won't this be ever so fun? We can have a nice little tea party, and braid each others' tails, and sit quietly and color, and tell each other fairy tales, and—
[rush of air, clattering hooves]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hello, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Oh! Hello, Twilight. Where are you off to?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm heading to the Everfree Forest to Zecora's to get some of my favorite tea.
Fluttershy: Th-The Everfree Forest? Ah, you'll be careful, won't you?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! How about you? What are you doing with the girls?
Fluttershy: Rarity has a big order to fill tonight, so I volunteered to take the girls over to my cottage for a sleepover.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. Sounds like everypony has their hooves full today. Taking care of those three fillies all by yourself? You sure you can handle it?
Fluttershy: What? These sweet little angels? They'll be no problem at all.
[crickets chirping quietly, owl hooting]
[door closes]
Sweetie Belle: Wow! Look at this place! What's that? Are those chickens?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [unintelligible loud chatter, clattering hooves, zippy sounds]
Fluttershy: [to herself] No... problem at all. [normal] Okay, girls, uh, what should we do?
Scootaloo: I'm gonna get my mark first!
Fluttershy: Girls?
Sweetie Belle: Nuh-uh!
Fluttershy: Should we—
Apple Bloom: I am!
Fluttershy: Girls, okay, now settle—
Scootaloo: I'm staying up all night!
Apple Bloom: Me, too!
Sweetie Belle: Me, three!
Fluttershy: I-I know you're excited, but— girls, oh, oh, careful with the— oh, ah, girls— [huffs] So! What do you wanna do? Play a game?
Scootaloo: We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Apple Bloom: And we want to crusade for our cutie marks!
Sweetie Belle: And, and, and, we, um— yeah! What they said!
Fluttershy: Mmm, I don't know... how about a nice quiet little tea party?
Scootaloo: Or... we could go adventuring in the Everfree Forest!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Fluttershy: Oh, no! The Everfree Forest is much too dangerous. It's filled with far too many strange creatures.
Sweetie Belle: But you could go with us and we could catch those creatures. We could be, umm... creature catchers!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader creature catchers!
Scootaloo: Arrrr! I am a dangerous creature from the Everfree Forest! Rrrarr!
Sweetie Belle: Halt, dangerous creature of the Everfree Forest. I am Sweetie Belle, the creature catcher, and I'm here to catch you!
Scootaloo: You can never catch me! I am far too powerful and dangerous!
Sweetie Belle: You cannot run from me!
Scootaloo: Raaaar!
Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Scootaloo: Raaaar! [giggling]
Fluttershy: Um, oh, maybe that's not such a— now, girls, how about we do some nice coloring? Doh—
Sweetie Belle: Come back, dangerous creature, so I can catch you!
Scootaloo: Never!
Fluttershy: Careful... you don't...
[crash]
Fluttershy: ...break anything.
Sweetie Belle: Sorry, Fluttershy.
Scootaloo: Yeah, sorry.
Apple Bloom: I guess we aren't creature catchers.
Fluttershy: Oh, girls, it's okay. I—
Apple Bloom: I know! We could be Cutie Mark Crusader carpenters!
Fluttershy: C-carpenters?
Apple Bloom: Hammer!
Scootaloo: Hammer.
Sweetie Belle: Hammer!
Scootaloo: Hammer. Hammer! ...Hammer.
[thumping, clattering, sawing, jackhammer sounds]
Sweetie Belle: Um ... that doesn't look like a table.
Scootaloo: We were making a table?
Apple Bloom: Somepony needs to put this thing out of its misery.
Scootaloo: We are definitely not Cutie Mark Carpenters.
Sweetie Belle: Who wants a picture of a hammer on their flank anyway?
Fluttershy: Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about a game?
Apple Bloom: A game?
Fluttershy: It's called "Shhh!"
Scootaloo: What's that?
Fluttershy: Well, it's a game about who can be quiet the longest. Sound fun? I'm the world champ, you know. I bet you can't beat me! [squee] [deep breath]
Scootaloo: I lose!
Sweetie Belle: Me too!
Apple Bloom: Me three!
Fluttershy: [sigh]
Apple Bloom: Okay, now what can we do? Oooh! How about Cutie Mark Crusader coal miners?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah!
Fluttershy: No!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Awwww!
Fluttershy: I mean, it's time for bed, don't you think? Aren't you excited to get all toasty and warm in your snuggly-wuggly widdle beds?
Apple Bloom: Snuggly-wuggly? But we have more crusadin' to do!
Scootaloo: We've got plans!
Sweetie Belle: And capes!
Fluttershy: Um, okay, um. Maybe the crusading can wait until morning? When it's light? And not so... dark?
Apple Bloom: How are we gonna find our special talent in our sleep?
Fluttershy: [blows out candle] Maybe you'll have a lovely little dream about your special talent.
Scootaloo: But we're not even tired!
Fluttershy: How about I sing you a lullaby?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm, yeah!
Fluttershy: [clears throat]
[Fluttershy]
Hush now, quiet now
It's time to lay your sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now
It's time to go to bed
Sweetie Belle: I know this one!
Fluttershy: Oh, how wonderful! Why don't you sing it with me?
Sweetie Belle: [clears throat]
[Sweetie Belle]
Hush now! Quiet now!
It's time to lay your sleepy head!
Said hush now! Quiet now!
It's time to go to bed!
Fluttershy: Okay Sweetie, that was...
[Sweetie Belle]
Driftin' (driftin') off to sleep!
Exciting day behind you!
Driftin' (driftin') off to sleep!
Let the joy of dream land find you!
Fluttershy: Thank you Sweetie, um...
[Sweetie Belle]
Hush now! Quiet now!
Lay your sleepy head!
Said hush now! Quiet now!
It's time to go to bed!
Ow!
[chickens clucking and flapping]
Scootaloo: What is that?
[chickens squawking]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Girls!
Apple Bloom: Fluttershy, your chickens are on the loose!
Sweetie Belle: I wonder what could have caused that...
Scootaloo: Don't worry, Fluttershy, the Cutie Mark Crusaders will handle this!
Sweetie Belle: Cutie Mark Crusader chicken herders! Yay!
[rush of air, more chicken clucking]
Fluttershy: No, I don't think that's a— ah, come back! Please!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders giggling, more chicken flapping and squawking]
Fluttershy: Come on, girls, the chickens are fine— oh, girls, um... girls!
[chickens flapping and clucking]
Fluttershy: Come on, in you go.
[eerie music]
Fluttershy: There's some good chickens. Okay, you three. Isn't it about time you got into bed?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: But—
Fluttershy: Please?
Fluttershy: So, no more crusading for tonight, all right?
Scootaloo: Yes, Fluttershy!
Sweetie Belle: We promise, Fluttershy!
Apple Bloom: Good night, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Okay, good night.
Sweetie Belle: Okay, so what kind of crusading do we do next?
Apple Bloom: There's not much we can do from this room... unless we become Cutie Mark Crusader cottage cleaners.
Sweetie Belle: N-no, thanks.
Apple Bloom: Well, we have to think of somethin'. We can't just waste this opportunity to find out what our special talents are. Hey, girls! Look! Some of the chickens may have escaped!
Sweetie Belle: Into the forest!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [whispering] Cutie Mark Crusaders chicken rescuers are go!
Fluttershy: [sigh] It really wasn't that hard ... I mean, all I needed to do was just show them who's in charge. Nothing's gonna get past Fluttershy! Good with animals, good with kids.
[quiet galloping]
[tearing fabric]
Scootaloo: [whispering] Wait up!
Fluttershy: Mmm, peace and quiet. [gasps] Too quiet. [gasps] Girls? Girls? Elizabeak! She's missing! Girls?! [gasps] Oh, no! They must have gone looking for my missing chicken! Which means... they must have gone into... [gasp] [gulp] The Everfree Forest!
Fluttershy: Those girls have really done it this time! They've really bitten off more than they can chew! Oh, just like me! I never should have offered to watch them. [deep breath]
Apple Bloom: Here, chick-chick-chick-chick-chick! Brawck, bawk-bawk-bawk, brawck!
Scootaloo: What are you doing?
Apple Bloom: Callin' for the chicken!
Scootaloo: That is not how you call a chicken.
Apple Bloom: Oh, and you know how to call a chicken?
Scootaloo: I know that's not the way.
Apple Bloom: Then show me.
Scootaloo: I don't have to show you!
Apple Bloom: You're just chicken!
Scootaloo: Am not!
Apple Bloom: Oh, wait, now I know how to call a chicken! Scootaloo! Scoot-scootalooooo!
Scootaloo: That's so funny I forgot to laugh.
Apple Bloom: You also forgot how to call a chicken!
Scootaloo: Why, you...
Apple Bloom: [blows raspberry]
Sweetie Belle: Come on, guys, we're not gonna find the chicken or our cutie marks by arguing.
Apple Bloom: Maybe that's our special talent. Arguin'!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too! Anything yet?
Scootaloo: Nope.
Apple Bloom: Darn.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom: [giggle]
[wind blows]
Apple Bloom: Heeeere, chick-chick-chick-chick, baaawk, bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk, b-baaaaawk!
Fluttershy: [whispering] Girls? [gulp] Girls? [tiny terrified squeak] Oh! Get a hold of yourself, Fluttershy. Just put one hoof in front of the other.
[twig snaps]
Fluttershy: Ahh! What was that?
[thump]
Fluttershy: [scream]
[rush of air, clattering hooves]
Fluttershy: Twilight? I-Is that you? Oh, Twilight, it is you. Thank goodness you're here. I need your help. The girls are out here somewhere, and I'm afraid that they're— [gasps] Oh! What's happened to you? [scream]
[thud]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! If you've been turned to stone, it must mean— oh! Oh no, the girls! Don't move. I'll be back for you. Girls!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too!
Scootaloo: Is not!
Apple Bloom: Is too!
Sweetie Belle: Girls! Our special talent is not arguing. Besides, what would the cutie mark of somepony whose talent is arguing even look like?
Fluttershy: Girls? Girls?
Sweetie Belle: Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Girls! Thank goodness I found you!
Apple Bloom: Fluttershy, what—
Fluttershy: Girls, we have to leave the forest at once!
Sweetie Belle: But... we haven't found the chicken yet!
Fluttershy: There's no time for that. There's a cockatrice on the loose!
Apple Bloom: A cocka-what now?
Fluttershy: A cockatrice! It's a frightening creature with the head of a chicken and the body of a snake. Now, come on!
Scootaloo: The head of a chicken and the body of a snake? That doesn't sound scary, that sounds silly!
Apple Bloom: Why, if I ever saw one of them cockathingies face-to-face, I'd laugh at how silly it was.
Fluttershy: No! Never look one in the eye!
[brush rustling, a chicken cluck]
Fluttershy: If you look a cockatrice in the eye—
Apple Bloom: The chicken!
Fluttershy: Girls! Wait!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Here, chick-chick-chick-chick-chick!
[chicken clucking]
[growling]
Sweetie Belle: There he is!
Scootaloo: Two chickens?
Apple Bloom: I thought only one escaped!
Sweetie Belle: Grab them both!
[chicken clucking]
[brush rustling]
[roar]
[squawk]
[chicken clucking]
[thud]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [scream]
[thump]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Fluttershy: See? Now we have to—
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [screaming]
Fluttershy: Girls, please. Girls— now listen to me, girls, I— please!
[screaming]
[cockatrice squawking]
Fluttershy: Girls! Behind me, now!
[cockatrice squawking and roaring]
Fluttershy: You! Just who do you think you are, going around turning others into stone?
Cockatrice: [dismayed squawk]
Fluttershy: You should be ashamed of yourself. I have a mind to find your mother and tell her what you've been up to, young man. Now you go over there, and turn Elizabeak and my friend Twilight back to normal, and don't ever let me catch you doing this again. Do you understand me?
Cockatrice: [dismayed squawking]
Fluttershy: Are you girls all right? I was so worried!
Scootaloo: Yeah, fine!
Sweetie Belle: Thanks to that stare of yours.
Scootaloo: You're like the queen of stares. You're the—
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Stare Master!
Sweetie Belle: We're sorry we snuck out of the house and into the forest.
Apple Bloom: Yeah. We'll listen to you from now on.
Scootaloo: We promise.
Fluttershy: Oh, you do, do you? Well, you better, or I'll give you... the Stare!
[giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: What... what happened?
[chicken squawking]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Fluttershy: And that's when it brought you back from stone.
Twilight Sparkle: This is gonna make quite a letter to the princess. I was wrong about you. You certainly do know how to handle those girls.
Fluttershy: Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm? How so?
Fluttershy: I assumed that I'd be just as good with kids as I am with animals. Boy, was I wrong. I really learned the hard way not to bite off more than I could chew.
Twilight Sparkle: You and Rarity both. Good morning, Rarity.
Fluttershy: Did you finish all those capes?
Rarity: [sigh] Just delivered them. I have to admit, if you hadn't come along, I might not have. Thanks again.
Fluttershy: Won't you stay for some tea?
Rarity: I really must get back to the shop and clean up. Girls! Get your things. Time to go. Girls!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling, calling to each other]
Rarity: Girls! Time to— Girls! Your things! Girls! It's time to— Girls!
Fluttershy: Allow me. [clears throat] Girls?
Apple Bloom: Yes, Fluttershy.
Scootaloo: You called?
Fluttershy: Go and get your things. Rarity is here to see you home.
Sweetie Belle: Of course, Fluttershy, right away!
Rarity: Ah, huh, ah, how did you... how did you do that?
Fluttershy: I guess I'm just as good with kids as I am with animals.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Thank you, Fluttershy! Bye! Thank you, Stare Master!
Rarity: Ah, uh, speaking of which, I could use your help with Opal.
Fluttershy: Of course. How about later today?
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: How about now? [strains]
Opalescence: [yowls]
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [giggling]
[music]
[credits]

The Show Stoppers

Apple Bloom: Where are you takin' us?
Applejack: We're almost there, young'uns.
Sweetie Belle: I've never been here before.
Scootaloo: Ouch!
Apple Bloom: Oh. Sorry.
Scootaloo: Are we there yet?
Sweetie Belle: There? Where? What? I don't even know what we're doing.
Applejack: Here we are.
Apple Bloom: What are we lookin' at?
Scootaloo: I have no idea.
Sweetie Belle: What is that thing?
Applejack: Cutie Mark Crusaders, welcome to your new clubhouse. [silence] Well, don't thank me all at once. This was my clubhouse when I was your age. Sure it hasn't been used in a while, but it's empty and on a secluded, private part of the farm. And it's all yours. It just needs a little, uh... TLC.
Scootaloo: TLC as in Tender Loving Care or Totally Lost Cause?
Apple Bloom: Applejack! We're supposed to turn this into our new clubhouse?
Applejack: Well, maybe y'all will get your cutie marks when you discover your talent for... Waaah! [crash] Uh... house cleanin'?
[theme song]
[birds chirping]
[all gasp]
Granny Smith: Soup's on!
Apple Bloom: Whoa! Hi, Scootaloo! Back already? You're amazin' on that scooter.
Scootaloo: Thanks! Wow, Apple Bloom. You did all of this?
Apple Bloom: Yep! I've fixed the broken shutters, sanded off the splinters, rebuilt the roof, painted...
Scootaloo: That's so cool. What's Sweetie Belle up to?
[Sweetie Belle]
We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders... [humming]
...Never stop the journey... [humming]
Apple Bloom: There you are, Sweetie Belle! See? I told you we could find her by following her totally awesome voice.
Scootaloo: What's that sweet tune you're singing?
Sweetie Belle: Oh. I was just working on our new Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Cool!
Scootaloo: Teach us?
Sweetie Belle: Well, I've only come up with one part... but okay!
[Sweetie Belle]
They all say that you will get your mark
When the time is really right
[Apple Bloom]
And you know just what you're supposed to do
[Scootaloo]
[loud and off-key] And your talent comes to light!
Applejack: Well, uh... I'll be, Cutie Mark Crusaders. You've done one fine job with this place. So, what's next?
Apple Bloom: Well, now that we have a real life clubhouse...
Scootaloo: ...and a map of Ponyville...
Sweetie Belle: ...and a Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song...
Applejack: Theme song?
Apple Bloom: We're gonna go out in the world and discover our talents.
Scootaloo: A new adventure!
Sweetie Belle: And earn our cutie marks.
Apple Bloom: We'll leave no stone unturned!
Scootaloo: No mountain unclimbed!
Sweetie Belle: No meal uncooked!
Apple Bloom: No sock unworn!
Applejack: Well okay then! Sounds like you have a plan. I gotta, uh... Leave no apple unpicked! See y'all later!
Scootaloo: Are we ready to get our cutie marks, ponies?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ready!
[bell rings]
[pigs squealing]
Sweetie Belle: [sniff]
[machine whirring]
[bell rings]
"Frou Frou": [crying]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[wind whistling]
[bubble sounds]
[frantic bubble sounds]
[octopus growling]
Spike: I had nothing to do with this.
Twilight Sparkle: What is going on here?
Apple Bloom: Hmm... Well, we sure aren't gettin' our cutie marks for bein' librarians.
Spike: Huh. I should think not. What?
Twilight Sparkle: Girls, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to do things in areas you're not familiar with, why not try doing things in areas that you already like?
Cheerilee: And I have the perfect place to start.
Apple Bloom: "Showcase your talents..."
Scootaloo: "...for all to see."
Sweetie Belle: "Perform in the Ponyville school talent show!"
Cheerilee: There'll be all sorts of awards. Best dramatic performance, best comedy act, best magic act... Surely you can find your talent.
Apple Bloom: This would be the perfect place to discover our talents. Jugglin'!
Scootaloo: Acting!
Sweetie Belle: Magic tricks!
Apple Bloom: Square dancin'!
Scootaloo: Tightrope walking!
Sweetie Belle: Tiger taming!
Twilight Sparkle: My little ponies! You're missing the point. Think about the things you already enjoy doing. Think about what you're already good at.
Scootaloo: Sure! We can do that.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! Sure we can.
Apple Bloom: Well, whatever we do, we'll do it as...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: ...The Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle! I told you not to touch my things. Come back with my supplies!
Sweetie Belle: We're just borrowing them for the talent show. Don't worry, sis. I promise we'll bring them back.
Scootaloo: Thanks, Mr. Breezy. We'll return the fan to you real soon.
Apple Bloom: What do we need this fan for?
Sweetie Belle: Trust me on this one.
Scootaloo: Okay, so that's six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes. Anything else?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah. Instructions on how to use six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes.
Twilight Sparkle: "Ghosts, Goblins and Ghoulish Figures"? Good heavens, girls. What do you need a book like this for?
Scootaloo: You'll see. Thanks, Twilight. We'll give it back as soon as we're done with it.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you think they're up to?
Spike: I have no idea and I don't know if I should be excited or scared to find out.
Apple Bloom: I'm glad we're doin' this as a team.
Sweetie Belle: Me too. Um... so what are we doing again?
Scootaloo: A super awesome dramatic song for the talent show, of course.
Sweetie Belle: Right! With super-cool scenery. And amazing costumes!
Apple Bloom: And mind-blowin' dance moves.
Scootaloo: This is gonna be soo amazing!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle, I think you should be a singer.
Sweetie Belle: What? No way I'm singing in front of a crowd. Twilight said to do something we like to do, and I'd like to be like my big sister, and she's a designer.
Scootaloo: Fine then. You can do the costumes and the scenery.
Apple Bloom: And Scootaloo, you're great in maneuvers on your scooter. So you should do the choreography. Y'know, all those dance moves.
Scootaloo: Nah. I'd rather sing a wicked rock ballad. Why don't you come up with the dance routine, Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: Hm... I'm not much of a dancer... but I do like Kung-fu. That's kinda like dancin'. Hi-ya! Hah! Hah! Yah!
Sweetie Belle: Then it's settled! Let's get started.
Apple Bloom: One... two... three... Oh! Oh!
Scootaloo: Ow, Apple Bloom! What are you doing?
Apple Bloom: Oh, I feel like I have four left feet. I can't even spin right.
Scootaloo: Don't be silly. You just gotta keep your head forward until the very last minute, like this. See? Easy-peasy. You just gotta practice a bunch, that's all.
Apple Bloom: Wow! That does look easy. Thanks. Okay. Let's try this again. Oh! Ouch! Ow. I'm okay!
Scootaloo: Keep practicing!
Apple Bloom: Will do.
[discordant piano notes]
Scootaloo: We fight the fight, walk the walk. Talk the talk, eat the... uh... food like a celery stalk? Ugh! I'll never come up with anything! Never, never, never!
Sweetie Belle: Come back! Come back! Uh. Dumb fabric. Hey, Scoot! How's the song going?
Scootaloo: Pbbbt.
Sweetie Belle: Pbbbt? Oh my! Sounds serious.
Scootaloo: I'm just no good at lyrics. Coming up with words is, like... [pause] really hard.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, it can't be that bad. "With our cutie marks we'll rock Equestria. We use our stomachs to... digestia"? Umm... Well... These are... um... good, but... How about after "we fight the fight"...
There is nothing that we fear
We'll have to figure out what we'll do next
'Til our cutie marks are here
Scootaloo: Wow! That's so awesome! Did you just come up with that now?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah... kind of.
Scootaloo: Thanks, I'm totally using that.
Sweetie Belle: Oh no!
Sweetie Belle: One, two, three, four, five? [moan] [sigh]
Apple Bloom: Ouch!
Sweetie Belle: How's the spin coming along?
Apple Bloom: I think I gotta just stick to punches and kicks. You know, ponies only have four legs.
Sweetie Belle: [moan] I'll never be a designer like my sister Rarity.
Apple Bloom: Hey, it's no big deal. Why don't you use the dress form? It'll help you with your patterns and help you put all the pieces in the right places.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, is that what that's for?
Apple Bloom: Uh... maybe you should also clean your paintbrush between each color.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, I was wondering why all the colors looked like mud.
Apple Bloom: You're not using power tools, are you?
Applejack: The talent show is just around the corner. I wonder how the fillies are doin'.
Apple Bloom: Oh! Sorry, Scootaloo.
Scootaloo: That's okay. Ugh!
Sweetie Belle: Oops! Sorry, Scootaloo. Ouch!
Scootaloo: Oh, my bad, Sweetie Belle. Let's sing the chorus again!
Applejack: Well, gosh. Sure wasn't expectin' that.
Apple Bloom: I think that sounded pretty good.
Sweetie Belle: Me too. You think we're ready?
Scootaloo: Ready as we'll ever be. Hey! Did you see us practicing?
Applejack: Uh... Yeah.
Apple Bloom: Well? How'd we do? How'd we do?
Applejack: Uh...
Scootaloo: Speechless! See, girls? I told you that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna leave them speechless.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yay!
Applejack: "Speechless" is right.
Snips: ...And on the count of three, this rabbit will disappear, and something tasty will reappear in its place. A one, a two, and a three! Hey! Where are they? Snails, where are the... carrots. SNAILS!
Cheerilee: Uh, how about a round of applause for the S&S magic act? Now for our next act, we have Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie reciting their favorite poem... on roller skates!
Sweetie Belle: Break a leg!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle! What a thing to say!
Sweetie Belle: No, no, no. You see, in the theater it's considered bad luck to say "good luck". So you say "break a leg" instead.
Twilight Sparkle: My little ponies! How are you doing?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Nervous...
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, just stick to what you know best. I can't wait to hear you sing, Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle: Why does everypony always think I'm gonna sing?
Scootaloo: Actually, Twilight Sparkle, I'm the main singer tonight.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh?
Apple Bloom: And I'm the main dancer. Hi-ya!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh?
Sweetie Belle: And I'm in charge of...
Twilight Sparkle: Costumes?
Sweetie Belle: And sets and props. How'd you know?
Twilight Sparkle: Really, girls? Are you sure...?
Cheerilee: Cutie Mark Crusaders, you're on next. Break a leg.
Twilight Sparkle: Break a le—
Apple Bloom: Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... good luck!
[Scootaloo]
Look, here, are three little ponies,
Ready to sing for this crowd,
Listen up, 'cause here's our story
I'm gonna sing it
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Very loud!
[Scootaloo]
When you're a younger pony
And your flank is very bare
Feels like the sun will never come
When your cutie mark's not there
So the three of us will fight the fight
There is nothing that we fear
We'll have to figure out what we'll do next
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
'Til our cutie marks are here!
We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders
On a quest to find out who we are
And we will never stop the journey
Not until we have our cutie marks
[Scootaloo]
They all say that you'll get your mark
When the time is really right
And you know just what you're supposed to do
And your talent comes to light
But it's not as easy as it sounds
And that waiting's hard to do
So we test our talents everywhere
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Until our face is blue
We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders
On a quest to find out who we are
And we will never stop the journey
Not until we have our cutie marks
We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders
On a quest to find out who we are
And we will never stop the journey
Not until we have our cutie marks!
[crash]
[laughter]
Scootaloo: Wow. That did not go as well as I expected.
Apple Bloom: I can't believe they're laughin' at us.
Sweetie Belle: Was it that bad?
Cheerilee: Back on stage, girls. It's time for the awards.
Sweetie Belle: Back on stage? No.
Apple Bloom: They'll just laugh some more.
Scootaloo: Yeah, what's the point?
Cheerilee: Now girls, let's be good sports. You made a great effort. You should be proud. Now come on!
Cheerilee: Let's hear it for all our talented fillies and colts.
[hooves stomping]
Cheerilee: Our first award goes to... Snips and Snails for best magic act.
Snips: Hey! Mine's at least shinier.
Snails: Well, mine's bigger.
Snips: Oh yeah, well... Well, mine is, um... heavier?
Cheerilee: The next award goes to... Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie for best dramatic performance.
Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie: [gasp]
Cheerilee: And finally, the last award of the night goes to... the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: What?
Cheerilee: For best comedy act.
[ponies cheering]
Apple Bloom: Can you believe it? We won!
Scootaloo: I knew our act was awesome.
Sweetie Belle: You know what would be the best? If we won and we got our cutie marks.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [moan]
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, ponies! Job well done.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sadly] Thanks, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you don't sound too excited.
Scootaloo: [sigh] We worked really hard and won a prize, but we still don't have our cutie marks.
Sweetie Belle: Which is the prize we really wanted.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, girls...
Apple Bloom: But we think we know why.
Sweetie Belle: Yes. We know why.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh? Tell me. I'd love to make a special report to the Princess.
Sweetie Belle: Well, maybe we were trying too hard.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes? And?
Scootaloo: And instead of forcing ourselves to do something that's not meant for us...
Twilight Sparkle: Yes? Yes?
Apple Bloom: We each should be embracing our true talent!
Twilight Sparkle: And that is...?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Comedy!
Applejack: Apple Bloom! You did it!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Did you see our award? Weren't we funny?
Twilight Sparkle: One day... [giggle] One day...
[music]
[credits]

A Dog and Pony Show

Rarity: Perfect!
[doorbell ringing]
Rarity: Coming! Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique. [gasp] Sapphire Shores! The pony of pop!
Sapphire Shores: Good afternoon, Miss Rarity!
Rarity: You yah... Y-y-you know my name?
Sapphire Shores: Well, of course I do, darling. I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming designers and Clothes Horse magazine simply raved about you.
Rarity: Oh my stars. If I'm dreaming, do not wake me up. How may I help you, Miss Shores?
Sapphire Shores: Oh please, call me Sapphire.
Rarity: [giggle] How may I help you, Sapphire?
Sapphire Shores: Well, as I'm sure you know, I'll be touring all of Equestria with my latest concert, Sapphire Shores' Ziegfilly Follies, so I need to look seeensational! Ow!
Rarity: I have just what you need. Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the pièce de résistance de la haute couture. I used every last diamond I found on this one garment.
Sapphire Shores: [gasp] And it is spectacular! I'll take it.
Rarity: Really?
Sapphire Shores: Oh yes, and five more, each done up in a different jewel.
Rarity: Beg pardon?
Sapphire Shores: Costume changes.
Rarity: [faints]
Sapphire Shores: [chuckle] Yes, I do have that effect on ponies.
[theme song]
Spike: Oh my gosh! Sapphire Shores! The pony of pop! She is awesome! I mean, she's gorgeous and talented and — heh... and not even half the pony you are. I mean, you're ten times more gorgeous and talented and—
Rarity: Spike, a lady is never jealous.
Spike: Eh, of course not. But were you totally flipping out or what?!
Rarity: Ladies do not "flip out", Spike. However, I was quite in awe. Oh, I need to find more jewels than ever before to decorate her costumes. Oh, aha!
Spike: Did you find some?
Rarity: Yes, Spike! Right there!
Spike: Ooooo! You look so delicious...
Rarity: Spike! I promised I'd give you gems to snack on, but we need to collect more first or I'll never be able to make these outfits for Sapphire.
Spike: Hm... I will miss you, my sweets.
Rarity: Come along, Spike. We have many jewels to find.
Spike: At your service, milady.
Rarity: Spike!
[jackhammer sounds]
Spike: [licks lips]
Rarity: You've been very patient today, Spike. And for that you get the finest reward. This is from me to you.
Rarity: Is something wrong, Spike?
Spike: No. It's perfect.
Rarity: Ooo, bring the cart, Spike. There are more over here.
Spike: For me. From Rarity.
Rover: Yesss, gemsss. Gemsss!
Fido: Where?
Rover: Preciousss gemsss! He is the gem hunter. With him we can have all those gems... and more! Let's get the dragon.
Rarity: Spike! Where are you?
Rover: Wait! Who is that?
Rarity: You know, it's terrible to keep a lady waiting.
Spike: Coming!
Rarity: I think we're really going to strike gold this time. So to speak. [laugh]
Spike: Jackpot!
Rover: Oh, it's not the dragon we want. It's the pony!
Diamond Dogs: The pony...
Rarity: Well, Spike, I think that's all we can do for today. And these will certainly get me well on my way with Sapphire's outfits. Why don't we start headi... Oh! What's this? Another jewel. Oh.. Oh, strange. It's in the trees. Oooo... Ewww! Uh... uh... Good day, gentle... uh, fellow. Uh, I am Rarity and this is my friend Spike.
Spike: Ehe...
Rarity: And you are...
Rover: A Diamond Dog.
Rarity: Oh really? Oh well, that explains your fine taste in jewelry. I mean I-I-I know that diamonds are a girl's best friend and now I know that they're a dog's best friend too, ha ha ha. So, um, [cough] you're out hunting for gems as well?
Rover: Yes. We hunt.
Rarity: Uh... we?
Rover: We hunt for gems. But you are a better hunter. So now we hunt... for you!
Rarity: [screams]
Spike: [jackhammers] [babbles]
Spot: Yaaaaah!
Fido: [growls]
Spike: [grunt] Run, Rarity! Run! Aaaah! Uh!
Fido: Ooooooh!
Spot: Yaaaaah!
Rarity: Spike! Come on! Hurry!
Rover: Gotcha!
Rarity: Waah! Spike!
Spike: Got him, Rarity! I got him!
Fido: Haha! Nope!
Spot: Sorry, scaly one.
Spike: Wait! Rarity?
Rarity: Unhand me this instant, you ruffians. Stop! Put me down, you thugs! You brutes!
Spike: [gasp] Rarity!
Rarity: Spike! Ah, dirt! Aaaaah, Spiiiike!
Spike: Which, what, where?
Rarity: Save me...!
Spike: Nooooooooooo!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, can you breathe now?
Spike: Yes... [pant] I think so.
Twilight Sparkle: Good. Now tell us what you know.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. 'Cause all you said earlier was...
Spike: [pant] Aaaah! Rarity... woods... jewels... dogs... hole... taken... Save her!
Applejack: Not a whole lot to go on there, sport.
Spike: Sorry. Rarity and I were in the woods looking for jewels when these creepy guys showed up.
Twilight Sparkle: Creepy guys?
Spike: They called themselves the Diamond Dogs. They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground.
Applejack: Well, this sounds mighty easy. Just take us to that there hole and we'll save Rarity.
All: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, girls! Let's get started.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello?
Fido: [growl]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Puh!
Rainbow Dash: Yuck! Ugh!
Pinkie Pie: [squeal]
Spike: Puh!
Twilight Sparkle: Quick! We gotta get down one before they're all filled up.
Fluttershy: Oh! Oh my. Oh, oh!
Applejack: We can't muscle through it!
Rainbow Dash: We'll see about that. [gasp]
Applejack: Whew. Heavens to Betsy. Now I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even touch mud 'less it's imported.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rarity...
Rarity: Oh, woe is me! Whatever shall I do? Ah! Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt! Oh! Make it stop, make it stop! Ah! Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings, it burns. Help! Oh, somepony save me, save me!
Applejack: We gotta save her.
Fluttershy: But they blocked up all the holes.
Applejack: Don't mean we can't dig 'em out. Come on!
Pinkie Pie: Ow!
Fluttershy: Oof!
Spike: [panting] Whoa! Oof!
Rainbow Dash: Get 'em!
Applejack: [grunting] [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Whoooaaa!
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
All: [grunting and panting]
Fluttershy: All those scary monsters popping up everywhere. Oh, poor Rarity must be terrified.
Twilight Sparkle: [worryingly] Ooh.
Spot: Give me the baubles!
Rarity: Ah!
Fido: Give me the beads!
Rarity: Aah!
Rover: Where are the trinkets?!
Rarity: Aaaah!
Diamond Dogs: Where is the treasure?!
Rarity: [faints]
Twilight Sparkle: Poor Rarity. What are we gonna do?
Spike: I got it! I'll save you, my sweet.
All: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, it is very noble of you...
Spike: Shhh!
Twilight Sparkle: [quieter] ...to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you.
Spike: Oh, Lady Rarity. My damsel in distress.
Sir Spike: I shall save you. Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs! Ah. There you are, you mangy mutts.
Rover: Who are you calling mutts? Unleash the hounds! [blows dog whistle]
Mook dogs: [barking] [yelping]
Sir Spike: Now, where is Lady Rarity?
Lady Rarity: [gasp] Spike! I knew you would save me!
Sir Spike: Nothing could stop me, milady.
Lady Rarity: Ohohohoh, Spike. You are my... hero. [smooch]
Sir Spike: Mmmmmm...
Applejack: Hoho there, lover boy.
Spike: Whoa! Whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa... I got a bite! I got a bite!
Applejack: Hold on there, little fella.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack!
Rainbow Dash: Twilight!
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness...
Pinkie Pie: Wait for me!
Fluttershy: Oh!
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Spike: [yelps]
All: [yelping]
Spike: [yelps]
All: [yelping]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Ha, ha, ha!
Spike: Oh, oh!
[ponies grunting]
Spike: Ha ha, it worked! We're in! Now we can finally save Rarity!
Twilight Sparkle: Um... Which way do we go?
Spike: Nooooooooooo!
Twilight Sparkle: All these tunnels... How are we ever gonna find Rarity?
Applejack: Guess we're just gonna have to start going down them one by one.
Rainbow Dash: That could take forever! There's gotta be way to narrow it down.
Spike: I know! I bet they've taken Rarity down the tunnel with the most gems.
Twilight Sparkle: But Spike, Rarity is the only one who knows how to find gems.
Spike: No, Twilight. You can! You can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my gosh! You're right! Rarity showed me how she did it a while back. If I can just remember...
Spike: That's it. You did it, Twilight! Come on! We're coming, Rarity. We'll save you. Just hold on.
Rarity: Oh please, Diamond Dogs. Please let me go.
Spot: No!
Fido: You're our precious little pony.
Rover: Forever! Muhahahaha!
Rarity: But whatever do you want from me?
Rover: Gemsss!
Spot: Yes! The gems. The jewels.
Fido: Find them! Find them all!
Rarity: Oh! Is that all?
Rarity: There. A lovely pocket of jewels are right there. Now, if you'd be so kind as to show me the exit?
Rover: Good! [laugh] Now, dig them up, pony.
Rarity: What? But you said you wanted me to find the gems.
Spot: Yes! Find and then dig.
Rarity: Dig?
Fido: Yes. Dig.
Rarity: Ohh... [grunting]
Fido: What are you doing? We said dig!
Rarity: Forgive me, but prior to you so rudely dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony-pedi and I am not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging. [grunting]
Rover: Oh, for goodness— Fine! Just stop. Stop! Dig, dogs! Dig! And fast.
Fido: She won't dig, she pulls.
Rarity: I beg your pardon, but what, pray tell, are you doing?
Fido: Others will dig. You will haul the wagon.
Spot: Prrrecious pony-pedi will be preserved.
Rarity: Well, somebody certainly needs proper nail care. When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things!
Rover: Please be quiet!
Rarity: Good heavens, what is that smell?
Rover: Smeeeeeell?
Rarity: Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath.
Rover: Enough! Search, pony!
Rarity: Well, since you insist... But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stifling, suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseated.
[crash]
Rarity: You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks. Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Oh water, oh water, I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?
Spot: Good gracious, I can't take this anymore. Be quiet, pony!
Rarity: And that's another thing. I would appreciate if you stopped calling me "pony". I am a lady and I wish to be addressed as such. So you may call me "Miss" or "Rarity" or "Miss Rarity".
Rover: Enough! Your whining! It-it-it hurts!
Rarity: Whining? I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining? Thiiis iiis whiiining! Oooh, this harness is too tiiight! It's going to chafe. Can't you loosen it? Oooh, it hurts and it's sooo ruuusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's gonna leave a staaain! And the wagon's getting heeeavy, why do I have to pull it?!
Spot: Aaah! Make it stop!
Rover: Stop whining!
Rarity: But I thought you wanted whiiining!
Rover: Geh! We'll do anything, pony!
Rover: Oh, uh, uh, we'll do anything, "Miss Rarity". [nervous laughter]
Rarity: [dreamily] Anything?
Rarity: [sigh] This water is hardly sparkling. But I suppose it will have to do.
Rover: [panting] Wait! Why are we doing this?
Spot: To stop the awful noises from the pony's mouth, remember? [whines]
Rover: Yes, yes, I know. This is ridiculous! Letting a pony order us around. What are we? Mice or dogs?
Fido and Spot: Mi... dogs?
Rover: Dogs do not pull. Ponies pull. Let her make the awful noises.
Rarity: What are you doing? Hey, you spilled my drink. Oh! [whining] Not sooo tiiight!
Rover: Ha! Make the noises all you want. But move while you make them. Hyah, mule!
Rarity: Did you just call me a... mule?
Rover: Ehh...
Rarity: Mules are ugly. Are you saying that I too am ugly? [cries]
Spot: What are these noises?
Rarity: He called me ugly!
Rover: No! Mule! I said mule!
Rarity: An old ugly mule! And it's true! Just look at me. I used to be beautiful, but, but nooow...
Fido: No, no! You're still beautiful, po... uh, Miss Rarity.
Rarity: You're just saying that!
Spot: No, you're still pretty and... and...
Rover: Oh, uh, uh, nice. Yeah.
Rarity: I don't believe you! You never liked me! [wails]
Rover: Oh, I've had just about enough of this!
Twilight Sparkle: We're getting close. I can feel it.
Rarity: [distant crying]
Spike: It's coming from down here. Come on!
Rainbow Dash: She must be in there. Let's go!
Mook dogs: More workhorses.
Applejack: Hoh, doggies. If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride. Come on, ponies! Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down.
Mook dogs: [yowling]
Applejack: Yeehaw! Get along, little doggies!
[crashing and clattering]
Spike: I'm coming for you, milady. Hi-ho, Twilight! Away!
Twilight Sparkle: And just what do you think you're doing?
Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this.
Twilight Sparkle: Eh... fine. [neighs]
[crash]
Spike: Lady Rarity, I'm here to save you!
[Dogs' screams: Save us! Please, save us! Make it stop! Please!]
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me?
Spot: So picky.
Fido: And critical.
Spot: She won't stop talking.
Fido: And crying.
Rover: We, uh, give her back. Yes.
Spike: Rarity! You're safe!
Rarity: Why, yes. Hello, girls. You arrived just in time to assist me.
Applejack: Assist you with what?
Rarity: With those.
Spike: You're letting her leave with all these... jewels?
Rover: Yes. Take them. And her with them.
Spot: Please!
Pinkie Pie: I can't believe you found all these gems!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. I can't believe you tricked all those dogs.
Rarity: Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I cannot handle myself in a sticky situation. I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her what you taught me today.
Rarity: Me? What did I teach you?
Twilight Sparkle: Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak. In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all.
Spike: Hm... "Outshines" is right. Now you have enough gems to cover Sapphire Shores' costumes.
Rarity: Not if you eat them all, Spike.
[laughter]
[music]
[credits]

Green Isn't Your Color

Rarity: So sorry, Fluttershy. I hate being late for our weekly get-together. The usual!
[steam hisses]
Rarity: But you will not believe what happened to me.
Fluttershy: Is everything all right?
Rarity: Oh, it's much more than all right. I was on my way here, wearing my latest hat creation, when who should stop me on the street but Photo Finish!?
Fluttershy: Photo Finish?
[steam hisses]
Rarity: She is the most famous fashion photographer in all of Equestria. Anywho, she saw my hat and said it was absolutely marvelous!
Fluttershy: What a lovely compliment.
Rarity: She was so impressed that she wants to take some pictures of my shop featuring some of my clothes!
Fluttershy: [squee] That's wonderful.
Rarity: [vibrating] Do you know what this could mean for my fashion career?
Fluttershy: Oh, Rarity, I'm so happy for you.
Rarity: But I'm going to need somepony fabulous to model for me. Somepony with beauty. Somepony with grace. Somepony... like you?
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness. I don't know.
Rarity: Oh, this is such a huge opportunity. And it would mean so much to me.
Fluttershy: I'm flattered, really.
Rarity: Nopony is going to have your elegance and poise.
Fluttershy: But...
Rarity: Nopony!
Fluttershy: There has to be somepony more quali-
Rarity: Please!
Fluttershy: Somepony more into fashion.
Rarity: Please!
Fluttershy: Somepony more comfortable in the spotlight.
Rarity: Please, please, pleeease!
Fluttershy: Oh, if it's that important to you, of course I'll do it.
Rarity: Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! You are the best friend a pony could ever have!
Fluttershy: [sigh] What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon.
Rarity: Isn't it? Though I was so afraid you wouldn't agree to model for me that I felt completely frazzled. I think I feel a pimple coming on. Oh! Only one solution! The usual!
[theme song]
Rarity: Hm... She's going to want to see attitude and pizzazz.
Fluttershy: A-a-attitude and, um... pizzazz.
Rarity: More light! It has to catch the sequins just so or the whole outfit is just a disaster. Oh, and the headdress needs more feathers. Pinkie Pie! More feathers! And sequins! More sequins!
Fluttershy: [whimper]
Rarity: And more ribbon! Oh no! Less ribbon. No! More ribbon.
Fluttershy: [squeal]
Rarity: Oh, this hem is completely off. Pincushion! Thank you all for helping me. I'm sorry to be so short with you, but I'm... I'm just so nervous.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, doesn't that hurt?
Spike: Thick scales. Can't feel a thing. And even if I could, there is no pain that would keep me from assisting the most beautiful creature in the world. I'm gonna tell you two a secret. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.
Twilight Sparkle: I promise.
Pinkie Pie: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.
Spike: I have a crush on Rarity!
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] We won't say a word!
Twilight Sparkle: Give me a break. Everypony already knows how you-
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! You promised Spike you wouldn't say anything. He trusts you. And losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever!
Twilight Sparkle: But-
Pinkie Pie: Forever!
Twilight Sparkle: My lips are sealed. Though I'm pretty sure Rarity is gonna pick up on your feelings.
[doorbell rings]
Photo Finish: I, Photo Finish... have arrived.
Rarity: Let me just say, what an honor!
Photo Finish: We begin... now!
Rarity: Attitude and pizzazz!
Photo Finish: Yes! Show Photo Finish something. No! Yeees. No! Yeees. No! Yeees. Enough!
Twilight Sparkle: She hardly took any pictures.
Fluttershy: I'm so sorry. I tried my best.
Rarity: Well, the headdress is too big for you and cape had too much sparkle. I can't believe I ever thought I could impress her.
Photo Finish: It seems that I, Photo Finish, have found the next fashion star here in Ponyville.
Rarity: Really?
Photo Finish: Yes. Really. And I, Photo Finish, am going to help her to shine all over Eqvestria. Tomorrow, a photo shoot in ze park. [pause] I go!
Rarity: Did you hear that? I am going to "shine all over Equestria".
Fluttershy: Oh, Rarity. I was so worried I'd ruined everything.
Rarity: Oh, never. I knew you'd be perfect. [excited giggling]
Rarity: No, no, no, yes! That is definitely the one. Photo Finish is going to love it. Everypony is going to love it!
Fluttershy: Oh, I am so excited for you. Just don't forget us little ponies when you become the most famous designer in all of Equestria.
Rarity: Never.
Photo Finish: Put me down here. Oh, nonononononono. The model should be in something simple! Something inspired by... the nature!
Rarity: That's just what I was thinking. Um... give me a moment and I'll, uh, put a little something together.
Photo Finish: Yes... that will not be necessary.
Rarity: But... but... how are you going to help me "shine across Equestria" if I don't design something new for these pictures?
Photo Finish: I am not going to help you shine across Equestria. I am going to help her shine. She is my star. You! Go!
Rarity: [gasp]
Fluttershy: I can't, Rarity.
Rarity: Oh, but you must, Fluttershy. Photo Finish wants to make you a star. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I know we were both hoping it would be my lifetime, but nonetheless you can't throw away this chance. You must do this for me. You must. You must! You must!
Photo Finish: Floottershy! It is time to make... the magics! Oh, wunderbar! You are like a delicate flower. So much more alluring without all those sparkles und feathers.
Pinkie Pie: How'd it go? How'd it go?
Rarity: It didn't. Photo Finish wanted to work with Fluttershy, not me.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rarity. I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do?
Rarity: I just vant to be alone right now.
Spike: You heard her. She vants to be... alone. What? I didn't think she meant alone alone.
Photo Finish: Too much blush. Not enough. Too much. Not enough. Perfect.
Fluttershy: Ah... Aaah... [tiny sneeze]
Photo Finish: Oh, yes! Even her schneezes are graceful. Now go! How do you feel? Excited? Overjoyed? Thrilled beyond your wildest dreams?
Fluttershy: N... nervous.
Photo Finish: Nervous? Dun be ridiculous. You're only facing a large crowd of ponies who will be watching your every move and silently judging you.
[music]
Photo Finish: Your cue! Now go!
Background voice: No seriously...
[ponies chattering]
[cameras clicking]
Fluttershy: You can't let Rarity down. You must do this. You must. You must. You must.
[ponies cheering]
Lyrica Lilac: So graceful.
Royal Ribbon: So lovely.
Hoity Toity: So perfect for my new advertisement.
Rarity: [gasp] [growl]
Shoeshine: It's Fluttershy!
[ponies shouting excitedly]
[bell rings]
Rarity: Wow. Look how popular you are. I'm so excited for you. You must be having the best time ever.
Fluttershy: Oh, yes. Best time ever...
Photo Finish: Floottershy! I have been looking for you everywhere. We have the thing at the place.
Fluttershy: I'll see you at the spa? Our usual time?
Rarity: Of course! I can't wait to hear all about the... "thing at the place".
Fluttershy: [yelp]
Rarity: I'm the one who should be mobbed by strangers wherever I go.
[bell rings]
Rarity: Welcome to Carousel Boutique!
Sweetie Drops: Is she still here? We heard Fluttershy was here.
Rarity: Sorry. You just missed her. But you're still in luck. I'm having a huge sale on some of my best designs.
Sweetie Drops: And you are...?
Rarity: Rarity, of course.
Sweetie Drops: Never heard of you.
Photo Finish: Obviously I, Photo Finish, am thwilled to have found her.
Fluttershy: Photo Finish?
Photo Finish: She's a natural in front of the camera.
Fluttershy: Um... Photo Finish?
Photo Finish: I only need to point and shoot, and I capture... the magics!
[ponies: Over here! Fluttershy, over here!]
Fluttershy: Photo Finish, I'm so sorry to interrupt. It's just that I'm running late.
Photo Finish: [gasp] How could I have forgotten?! Your appearance at the ballet opening! Everypony who is anypony will be there.
Fluttershy: Oh, actually I'm supposed to be meeting my friend...
Photo Finish: We go!
Rarity: My hooves are getting positively pruney, I've been waiting here so long. Obviously Fluttershy's just too busy with her new career to spend time with her best friend.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure she just got tied up.
Rarity: Of course she did. She's a big bright shining star! I wish that star would burn out.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity! Fluttershy is your friend.
Rarity: I know, I know. And I should be happy for her, but instead I'm just... jealous! Oh, please promise you won't tell her I feel this way. Please, please, pleasepleaseplease!
Twilight Sparkle: You have my word. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend.
Pinkie Pie: Forever!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! You look great!
Rarity: Fluttershy may be the one who's famous, but that doesn't mean I have to stop looking fabulous.
Fluttershy: Rarity! I'm so sorry I'm... Oh no. She's already gone, isn't she?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
Fluttershy: Oh, I can't believe this. I am so frustrated, I could just scream. [inhales] [squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: Feel better?
Fluttershy: [sighs] No. Can I tell you something?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course.
Fluttershy: You promise not to tell Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: I swear.
Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie Swear?
Twilight Sparkle: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my [poke] Ooowwwww!
Fluttershy: I don't like being a model. No, I hate being a model. All this attention is awful, just awful. And I'm only doing it because Rarity told me I must. I must! I must! [sigh] I must...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, really? Well... If you wanna know the truth, Rarity...
Fluttershy: Oh, what were you about to say?
Pinkie Pie: [quietly] Forever!
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing!
Twilight Sparkle: I was just thinking. If you really don't like being a model, you could always quit.
Fluttershy: Oh, no. I could never do such a thing. Rarity would be devastated.
Twilight Sparkle: But Rarity told me... [gasp]
[eerie music]
Pinkie Pie: [chomp] Mmm... Juicy!
Twilight Sparkle: Uhhhhhh!
Fluttershy: Oh, if only all these ponies didn't like me so much. Photo Finish wouldn't want me to model anymore. She'd find somepony else with... the magic!
Twilight Sparkle: I guess you're right. [pause] You're right. You're right, you're right, you're right!
Gala Appleby: It's Fluttershy!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't you see? On her own, Fluttershy could never do something unattractive. But if I used my magic to help her do something unattractive at her next fashion show, no one will ever want her to model again. And if Fluttershy no longer has to be a model, Rarity will no longer have to be jealous of her. And I'll no longer have to keep their secrets! It's the perfect plan! You can't tell anyone about it. Promise me you won't tell anyone?
Pinkie Pie: [miming]
Twilight Sparkle: So you do promise or you don't?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, yes! Obviously, that's why I zipped my mouth closed, then locked it with a key, then dug a hole, then buried the key, then built a house on top of the hole where I buried the key, then moved into the house on top of the hole. [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Obviously.
[ponies chattering]
Fluttershy: You really think it'll work?
Twilight Sparkle: They love you for being you. So all I have to do is make you not be you. Just leave it to me.
[music]
Rarity: Guess it's time to see what all the fuss is about.
Fluttershy: Oof!
[music stops]
[ponies gasp]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Ooh... Aah!
[ponies gasping]
Fluttershy: [barks]
Rarity: Oh no.
Fluttershy: [brays]
[ponies gasp]
Golden Harvest: Get her off the stage!
Lemon Hearts: She's an embarrassment to all things fashion!
Photo Finish: I, Photo Finish, have made a terrible mistake!
[ponies booing]
Rarity: Bravo! I say bravo!
Lyrica Lilac: Bravo? Who could possibly say bravo to that horrid display?
Rarity: Such attitude! Such pizzazz! She's invented an entirely new kind of modeling! Bravo!
Lyrica Lilac: Who is saying these things?
Royal Ribbon: It's her. The unicorn in the gorgeous cape and headdress.
Lyrica Lilac: Now that is a pony who clearly knows a thing or two about fashion. Well, if that fabulous pony likes it, then I do too! Bravo!
[ponies cheering]
Fluttershy: [moans]
Fluttershy: This is awful. Just awful! Somehow I've become more popular than ever. Oh, I'm so frustrated I could just kick something!
[vase wobbles]
Fluttershy: If only Rarity didn't want me to be a model so badly.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! But Rarity...!
Rarity: Fluttershy! Are you all right?
Fluttershy: I'm great! I'm a super famous fashion model. Why wouldn't I be great?
Twilight Sparkle: Because you ha...!
Rarity: Out there on the runway, everyone was turning on you and... Oh... Oh, Fluttershy. It's so awful. I wanted them to.
Fluttershy: You did?!
Twilight Sparkle: Of course she did! Because...!
Rarity: I'm jealous! I wanted all the attention. And instead it was going to you. I even started hoping that you would do something silly so your modeling career would be over. But then, when it started happening, all I could think was how could I want you to fail at something you love so much?
Twilight Sparkle: But... Fluttershy doesn't... Ugh!
Fluttershy: Love? Oh, Rarity. I hate being a model.
Rarity: You do?
Fluttershy: More than anything.
Rarity: Then why did you keep doing it?
Fluttershy: I was afraid if I quit, you'd be mad at me for not wanting to... "shine all over Equestria".
Rarity: And I thought if I told you how jealous I was of your success, you'd think I was a terrible friend.
Fluttershy: Never!
Rarity: All this time!
Fluttershy: If we'd just told each other the truth.
Rarity: I promise never to keep my feelings in secret again.
Fluttershy: Me too.
Fluttershy and Rarity: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. [laughs]
Photo Finish: You were brilliant. Brilliant! I've already got six photo shoots lined up for tomorrow alone.
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, Photo Finish, but I don't think I'll be able to make any of them.
Photo Finish: Whaaat?
Fluttershy and Rarity: We go!
Photo Finish: Vat has just happened?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike has a crush on Rarity!
Pinkie Pie: [sigh] And you were doing so well.
Fluttershy: Now this is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon.
Rarity: Isn't it, though?
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
Being a good friend means being able to keep a secret. But you should never be afraid to share your true feelings with a good friend. Did you get all that, Spike?
Spike: No. I did not. I still can't believe you told someone about my secret feelings for Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right. That was wrong of me, and I'm very sorry.
Spike: Apology accepted.
Twilight Sparkle: Now will you take down my letter to Princess Celestia?
Spike: I would love to. But... I'm a little busy at the moment.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
[music]
[credits]

Over a Barrel

Applejack: And that's when the yellow birdie thought to himself, "Hmm. My favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore." So she sang her song, big and strong, and they all lived in that great, big tree happily ever after. The... end.
Rarity: Applejack! Were you reading a bedtime story to... an apple tree?
Applejack: Heh... uh... Well, ya know, bein' replanted in a whole new place is very upsettin' for a tree... and Bloomberg here is one of my favorites.
Rarity: No fair, Applejack! You've got a luxurious, private sleeper car for a tree, while I am crowded and cramped in the same car with all the other ponies. How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep?!
Applejack: But Bloomberg's the whole reason we're makin' this trip. He needs his rest so we can give him as a gift to my relatives in Appleloosa.
Rarity: Hmph! You talk about it as if it's your baby or something.
Applejack: Who you callin' a baby?! Bloomberg's no baby! Don't wet widdle Rarity make you all saddy-waddy. Bloomberg's a big and strong apple tree. Yes, he is. A-coochie-coochie-coo-coo-coo!
Rarity: It's widdle Rarity who's all "saddy-waddy"! Urgh!
[theme song]
[indistinct conversations]
Rainbow Dash: Oh man, we're going fast! This is so exciting, I can't even wait!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my goodness...
Rarity: [sigh] For crying out loud in the morning!
[more indistinct conversations: Fluttershy(?): I can't wait! Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah! Oh, my gosh!]
Spike: [groan] Do you guys mind? I was up early fire-roasting those snacks you're all eating, and I'm pooped!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, speaking of, some of these popcorn kernels didn't get popped.
Spike: Okay, fine...
Rainbow Dash: Ghk...
Spike: Good night!
Twilight Sparkle: Uhh... maybe it's time we all got a little shut-eye. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie: Awwww!
Spike: [snoring]
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Psst! Pinkie Pie, you asleep yet?
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] No, are you asleep yet?
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] If I was sleeping, how could I have asked you if you were asleep?
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Oh yeah! [giggle]
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] When we get to Appleloosa, you think we'll have to carry that heavy tree all the way from the train to the orchard?
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] What tree? You mean Bloomberg?
Rainbow Dash: [whispering and sarcastically] ...No, Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Fluttershy's not a tree, silly!
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy's a tree!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] I do not think she's a tree! I was just–
Twilight Sparkle: Did you say she was a tree?
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] No. Well.. Yes. But not exactly–
Twilight Sparkle: Ya know she's not a tree, right?
Pinkie Pie: She's not a tree, Dashie!
Fluttershy: I'd like to be a tree...
Spike: Oh, for Pete's sake!
[door opens and slams]
Twilight Sparkle: Well that was kind of huffy.
Fluttershy: Huffy the magic dragon!
All except Rarity: [giggles]
Rarity: Would you all be quiet... now?!
All except Rarity: Aaaaaah! [blows out candle]
Spike: Bloomberg...? Bloomberg? Sorry, but I tend to snore a bit. Good night. [sigh]
[indistinct surprise; Rainbow Dash: Who gets what now, huh?]
Twilight Sparkle: A buffalo stampede!
[ponies awing]
Rarity: I just love their accessories!
Twilight Sparkle: They're getting awfully close to the train.
[all shouting indistinctly]
Rarity: I want to speak to the manager!
Spike: [snoring]
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, looky! Now they're doing tricks! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Now do a backflip!... Or... Just jump?
Rainbow Dash: Hmm.. Something tells me this isn't a circus act. Hey there!
Little Strongheart: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: Where ya headed in such a hurry? Wow, you're pretty quick for someone so... bulky. No offense.
Little Strongheart: Huh..?
Rainbow Dash: I just wanna know– Hey! I'm talking to you– Whoa... Arrgggg... I got you now, you– [groan]
Little Strongheart: [whistle]
Applejack: [gasp] They've got Bloomberg!
Spike: Heeeelp!
Twilight Sparkle: And Spike!
Rainbow Dash: Ugggh..
Spike: [distant] Heeeelp!
Rainbow Dash: Dragon-napping Spike. I'll show her! Ow...
Braeburn: Hey there! Welcome ta A-A-ppleloosa!
Applejack: Braeburn, listen–
Braeburn: Cousin Applejack, mind yer manners, you have yet ta introduce me to your compadres! Shame on you!
Applejack: Braeburn, listen, somethin' terrible's happened–
Braeburn: Terrible is right, your train is a full seven minutes late! That's seven minutes less for you to delight in the pleasures and wonders of... A-A-A-ppleloosa! Boggles the mind, we settler ponies built all this in just the past year, don't it?! And as you can see, we have all of the finest comforts. Like horse-drawn carriages!
"Black Stone": Okay, you pull now.
Noteworthy: Aww, we just switched.
Braeburn: And those there are horse-drawn horse-drawn carriages.
Applejack: ...Listen, Braeburn, I– Oof!
Braeburn: And here's our local waterin' hole, the Salt Block.
"Morton Saltworthy": That's enough salt for you!
Ol' Salt: Can't I at least... get a glass of water?
Braeburn: Over there's the office of Sheriff Silverstar. And here's where we have our wild west dances! And here's where we have our mild west dances!
Applejack: But, Braeburn, we–
Braeburn: And here's the most wonderful sight in all of... A-A-A-ppleloosa! Our apple orchard.
Applejack: Braeburn!
Braeburn: First harvest should be any day now.
Applejack: Braebu–
Braeburn: Good thing too!
Applejack: Brae–
Braeburn: 'Cause we need that grub to live on.
Applejack: Braeburn!
Braeburn: Uh, yes, cuz?
Applejack: You have a very nice town an' all, but we have a hu-uge problem! Some of our friends are missin'!
Fluttershy: A stampede of buffalo.
Rarity: They took Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash went after them!
Fluttershy: And we can't find Pinkie Pie.
Applejack: And we had an apple tree with us for your orchard, but they took that too!
Braeburn: Did you say... buffalo? [sigh] Them buffalo, they want us settler ponies to take every single tree you see here off this land. They sure as hay don't want any new ones added in.
Fluttershy: But why?
Braeburn: Beats me. We put a lot of hard work into this land, so we can feed our town, our families, our foals! And now they're sayin' all these trees have to go? T'ain't fair...
Rainbow Dash: Ooh, I can't wait to get my hooves on that little buffalo... Hnnh... Ow! Nobody tricks Rainbow Dash and gets away with it.
Pinkie Pie: Boo!
Rainbow Dash: Yah! ...Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Ah, ya caught me! Looks like I tricked you and didn't get away with it either! You're good.
Rainbow Dash: Shhshh! What do you think you're doing?! You gotta get out of here!
Pinkie Pie: I do?
Rainbow Dash: You're gonna blow my cover.
Pinkie Pie: I am?
Rainbow Dash: I'm trying to save Spike!
Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh! So am I!
Rainbow Dash: And the more of us there are out here, the more chances of us getting... caught. Run, Pinkie, I'll hold 'em off. Save yourself!
Spike: Stop! Dash, Pinkie, 'sup? Hey, no worries, I know those guys. They're cool.
Buffalo: If you say so, Spike. Catch ya later, bro.
Spike: Seems they took me by mistake. And they feel awful about it too, poor guys. Fortunately, they totally respect dragons, so they treat me like an honored guest.
Rainbow Dash: [sniff] Ugh...
Spike: Still don't like ponies much, though... But you're with me, so it's cool.
Rainbow Dash: Huh. Well, I still don't trust them. I say we turn tail and bail while we still–
Pinkie Pie: Mmm! [munching] Before we finish eating? Are you loco in the coco?! Can I please have more of that mushy stuff, whatever it was?
Little Strongheart: Certainly. And, Mr. Spike, you like gemstones, yes?
Spike: Turquoise. Mmm! [munching] Heh hah! This here is Little Strongheart, and these are my friends Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: You!
Little Strongheart: You!
Rainbow Dash: That's it! We are outta here!
Little Strongheart: Wait! Please accept my apologies for what happened on the train. We didn't mean for anyone to be hurt.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right.
Little Strongheart: We only wanted the tree. The settler ponies have overtaken the land and have planted an orchard all over it! Because of their thoughtlessness, we can no longer run over our traditional stampeding grounds.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Spike: I think it's time they met Chief Thunderhooves.
Chief Thunderhooves: Hmmh. We have a long and winding stampeding trail that we have run upon for many generations. [breath] My father stampeded upon these grounds, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and–
Little Strongheart: I think they get the idea, Chief.
Chief Thunderhooves: Hmph. It is a sacred tradition to run the path every year. But this year, these... settler ponies, these... [snort] Appleloosans! [snorting]
Little Strongheart: They planted apple trees all over it without asking our permission.
Pinkie Pie: Well that's not very nice. Right, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Hmph...
Little Strongheart: The ponies refused to move their trees, so we are stuck here, and it is not fair!
Spike: See, Rainbow Dash? They had a good reason to–
Rainbow Dash: Huh... Ah!
[buffalo gasp]
Rainbow Dash: I'll say they had a good reason! C'mon. We have some apple-pickin' Appleloosans to talk to!
Rarity: Ow! [groaning] Gently, please!
Applejack: Sorry, Rarity, but our friends are out there and we have ta' be ready for a long hike into buffalo territory if we're gonna save 'em! Let's go!
Pinkie Pie: Hi, guys!
Fluttershy: Pinkie! We're so glad you're safe.
[indistinct "Oh, there you are!" "Thank goodness!"]
Twilight Sparkle: How did you escape from the buffalo?
Pinkie Pie: We didn't!
[ponies gasp]
Rainbow Dash: We promised the buffalo a chance to talk.
Applejack: Oh, yeah? 'Bout what?
Rainbow Dash: We brought our new pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off buffalo land.
Braeburn: That information would be quite help–
Applejack: That's weird. 'Cause my cousin Braeburn here wants to explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay.
Little Strongheart: That would be a useful thing to–
Rainbow Dash: The land is theirs! You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now, you just gotta move 'em, that's all.
Braeburn: Well... heh...
Applejack: They busted their rumps here! An' now they're supposed ta bust their rumps again, just 'cause some buffalo won't stampede someplace else?
Rainbow Dash: Plant the trees somewhere else!
Applejack: Where?! It's the only flatland around these parts!
Rainbow Dash: The buffalo had it first!
Applejack: The settler ponies need it to live!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Applejack!
Applejack: [over Rainbow Dash] You're bein' unreasonable!
Rainbow Dash: [over Applejack] I put my hoof down!
Twilight Sparkle: Look! Both the settlers and the buffalo have good reasons to use this land. There must be something we can do.
Pinkie Pie: Hey! I've got an idea!
[piano intro]
[Pinkie Pie]
We may be divided
But of you all, I beg
To remember we're all hoofed
At the end of each leg
No matter what the issue
Come from wherever you please
All this fighting gets you nothing
But hoof-and-mouth disease
Arguing's not the way
Hey, come out and play!
It's a shiny, new day
So, what do you say?
You gotta share
You gotta care
It's the right thing to do
You gotta share
You gotta care
And there'll always be a way through
Both our diets, I should mention
Are completely vegetarian
We all eat hay and oats
Why be at each other's throat?
You gotta share
You gotta care
It's the right thing to do
And there'll always be a way
Throoooough!
Spike: [applauds] All right, Pinkie Pie! That was fantastic! What a great song! Yeah, right on!
Chief Thunderhooves: It appears that Sheriff Silverstar and I have come to... an agreement.
Sheriff Silverstar: We have.
Chief Thunderhooves: That was the worst performance we've ever seen.
Sheriff Silverstar: Teh... Abso-tively!
Chief Thunderhooves: The time for action... Hmh... is upon us! Our stampede will start at high noon tomorrow. And if the orchard is still there, we'll flatten it... and the whole town!
[ponies gasp]
Little Strongheart: But, Chief!
Sheriff Silverstar: An' we Appleloosans say you'd better bring yer best, 'cause we'll be ready and waitin'.
Braeburn: But, Sheriff...
Pinkie Pie: Oh... That wasn't the message of my song at all...
Applejack: I want my kin ta' have what they need to live... but a storm's a-brewin' here. And I don't like the look of it.
Twilight Sparkle: We've just got to talk some sense into them before somepony gets hurt. Listen, maybe if you would just reconsider, we–
Rarity: About the trees. Now if you could–
Twilight Sparkle: If we could just sit down and talk we could–
Goldengrape: Grrrrr!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Why won't anybody be rational and reasonable?!
[hammering, sawing, and nailing]
Applejack: Sheriff, if we could only–
[buffalo snorting]
Spike: Isn't there someway to stop this?
Little Strongheart: Unless the settlers remove those trees, I do not think so.
Spike: [sigh] [munching]
Rainbow Dash: I know you don't want to do this.
Chief Thunderhooves: But they have taken our land. What would you have me do, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know... but it's never too late to think of something.
Chief Thunderhooves: At noon, it will be too late.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, think! Think, think, think, think, think, think, think!
[clock strikes twelve times]
Chief Thunderhooves: [sigh]
Rainbow Dash: [gasp] He's not gonna do it!
[Pinkie Pie]
–what do you say?
You gotta share
You gotta care
It's the right thing to do
Chief Thunderhooves: Grrr...
You gotta share
Chief Thunderhooves: Chaaarge!
You gotta care
Pinkie Pie: Wah-ahh! Whoa-oo-oo-oo-ooa!
Sheriff Silverstar: Ready... aim... fire!
[pies splattering]
Cherry Berry: [gasp]
[clang!]
[crash]
Sheriff Silverstar: Ah! Aah!
Chief Thunderhooves: [distorted] Nooo!
Buffalo: [crying]
Spike: [cries]
Chief Thunderhooves: Yum! Hey, I've got a much better idea!
Applejack: [whistle]
Chief Thunderhooves: We... will allow the apple orchard to stay in exchange for a share of its fruit, heh... Those... delicious apple pies!
Spike: I'd rather eat turquoise any day of the week. [chomp] Auhh...!
Applejack: Bloomberg, this is yer special day. Mama's so proud of you!
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing. Even the worst of enemies can become friends. You need understanding and compromise. You've got to share. You've got to care.
Pinkie Pie: Hey! That's what I said!
[music]
[credits]

A Bird in the Hoof

Fluttershy: There you go, Mr. Mousey. Now you stay off that leg and do everything I told you. And it will be just like new in no time at all.
Mouse family: [squeaks]
Fluttershy: Oh, you're welcome. Happy to be able to help.
Angel: [pants] [squeak]
Fluttershy: You... found a watch? You... wanna be a watch? You're running! Running out of time? No. You're... late?
[clock strikes four]
Fluttershy: [gasp] I'm late for a very important date! The big brunch for Princess Celestia at Sugarcube Corner. Oh, the princess is here in Ponyville for a party, and we all promised we'd be there. But I'm not there! Oh, do I look all right? Do I need to bring anything? Maybe I shouldn't go.
[trumpet fanfare]
Fluttershy: Aah! It's starting! I'm missing it!
Angel: [sigh]
Fluttershy: Oh, thanks, Angel. I mean, if you hadn't reminded me, I might have not remembered, and then I wouldn't be there, and everypony would be wondering where I was and... Oh, right. I'm late.
[door rattles]
Fluttershy: Oh, okay then. See you later.
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: So... what do I have to do to get to be one of the Princess's royal guards, anyway? Is the pay good? Hellooo? Anybody home? [babbles] Wah-wah! [babbles] Ooh, you're good. [pause] Too good. I'm bored.
Fluttershy: Phew. Made it. [gasp]
Guard 1: Halt!
Guard 2: Who goes there?
Fluttershy: [gulp] No one. Never mind. I'll go home.
Twilight Sparkle: It's all right, sirs. She's on the list.
Fluttershy: Thanks, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you could make it, Fluttershy. It wouldn't be the same without you.
[ding!]
Mr. Cake: How's everypony doing? Good? Good.
Mrs. Cake: Anything else we can get for you, dearies...? Ooh, I-I mean, esteemed guests.
Princess Celestia: Everything is fine, Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
Fluttershy: Sorry I'm late. I had to finish taking care of a patient first.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you and your tender loving care of little animals. I just know Princess Celestia is gonna love that about you. I mean, I hope she will... I mean, of course she will!
Fluttershy: Wow, Twilight. I thought I was the only one who got nervous at social gatherings.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's not that. I just want the princess to approve of my friends.
Fluttershy: But she's met us all before.
Twilight Sparkle: And read about you in my letters. But this is the first time she's spent any real time with you. I want everypony to make a good impression.
Fluttershy: Well, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides, it's just a casual get-together, right?
Rarity: Don't touch me! Watch the dress! Careful, you're gonna spill that on me! Oh, oh, that looks delicious. What is it? Oh, does it stain?! Keep it away from me!
Fluttershy: Or... perhaps not that casual.
Applejack: Uh... which is the salad and which is the appetizer again? And which am I supposed to eat first? Oh, never mind. I'm not hungry.
Fluttershy: It's okay, Twilight. So our friends' manners aren't perfect. I doubt the princess will even notice.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Whoo-hoo! Cupcakes, candies and pies, oh my! Oooh! Chocolate fountainy goodness! [munching] You gonna eat that?! [munching]
Mrs. Cake: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Hey!
Mr. Cake: A thousand pardons, Your Majesty.
Princess Celestia: That's quite all right, thank you. [sips]
Mrs. Cake: Empty teacup at 4 o'clock!
Mr. Cake: Uh, I see it, honey bun!
Princess Celestia: Oh, um... thank you.
Mr. Cake: Not at all, Your Highness.
Princess Celestia: [sips] Thank you again.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, but of course, Your Majesty.
Princess Celestia: [sips] [sips] [sips] Gotcha!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh...
Princess Celestia: And what about you, dear? Fluttershy, is it?
Fluttershy: Me? Oh yes, Your Highness.
Princess Celestia: I understand from Twilight Sparkle's letters that you enjoy tending to the needs of woodland creatures.
Fluttershy: Yes, I love to take care of animals.
Princess Celestia: As do I. As Princess, I care deeply about all creatures, great and small.
[cough]
Princess Celestia: Nothing means more to me than the well-being of all my subjects.
Philomena: [coughs and hacks]
Princess Celestia: Ah, Philomena, my pet. You're awake. Do say hello to our gracious hosts.
Philomena: [coughs and hacks]
Fluttershy: Oh... my.
Princess Celestia: She is quite a sight, isn't she?
Fluttershy: I... I... I've never seen anything like it.
Philomena: [cough]
Guard: [clears throat] [whisper]
Princess Celestia: Really? Well, if I must... I'm sorry, everypony. I'm afraid I have to cut the party short. The mayor has requested an audience with me. Royal duty calls. Thank you for a wonderful time. It's been a joy getting to know you all better.
Applejack: Phew! Now I can eat someth'n! I'm starved! Oh...
Pinkie Pie: [whooping and giggling]
Rarity: Stay right where you are. All I want is a clear path to the exit. Nobody move and my dress won't get hurt! Stay back! Back, I say!
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Well, Spike, I don't know for sure how things went with the princess, but at least no big disasters happened.
Fluttershy: Oh, you poor little thing. How did you ever get in such bad condition? Don't you worry, Philomena. I'll nurse you back to health. As a favor to the princess, who's obviously just far too busy to care for you properly.
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: I'm sure the princess will appreciate the help. Oh my. We'd better get you to bed right away. There. [gasp]
[thermometer glass shatters]
Fluttershy: This is far worse than I thought. What you need is some medicine. Stat!
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: Here you go, Philomena. This will fix you right up.
Philomena: [sniff]
Fluttershy: Doctor Fluttershy expected that.
[jackhammer sounds]
Fluttershy: Always works. [gasp] Uh... Almost always.
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: There's nothing like homemade soup to cure what ails you. Come on now. You're not gonna get better if you don't cooperate. Mmm... See? It's delicious. Good and good for you. Here comes the choo-choo train. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, whoo-whoo!
[splash]
Fluttershy: Oh dear. Don't worry, Philomena. I know what'll make you feel better. Wait right here. I have just the thing.
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: Look, Philomena. I brought a fellow feathered friend by to cheer you up. Hummingway here was sick once too, but he let me help him and got better in no time. Didn't you, boy?
Hummingway: [humming "Mm-hmm!"]
Fluttershy: Say hello to your new friend Philomena.
Hummingway: [humming happily]
Fluttershy: Aw, look. I think he likes you. [vocalizes My Little Pony theme]
Hummingway: [hums My Little Pony theme]
Fluttershy: Your turn now, Philomena. Go ahead. You can do it. [vocalizes My Little Pony theme] Oh! Um... good try?
Fluttershy: I know what'll clear up that tickle in your throat. A humidifier. [deep breath] Refreshing. How's that feeling now for you, Philomena? Better?
Philomena: [deep breath] [cough]
Fluttershy: Oh... That's okay. I know lots of other ways to take care of you. Don't worry. You're gonna get better. How about...
Fluttershy: Aromatherapy?
Philomena: [sneeze]
Fluttershy: Warm bath?
Fluttershy: Ointment?
Fluttershy: Scalpel. Surgical tape. Feathers.
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: Oh, Philomena. I thought it would be easy to nurse you back to health. I've tried everything I know. And look at you. You're worse than ever.
[knock knock knock knock]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Fluttershy! I just wanted to drop by and say thank you so very much for making such a good impression on the princess today... [gasp] What is Celestia's pet doing here?!
Fluttershy: I couldn't leave the poor thing there. She needed my help.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no. Nonononononono! This is bad.
Fluttershy: How could I just walk away and not do anything?
Twilight Sparkle: But... but... she doesn't belong to you!
Fluttershy: I had to do something.
Twilight Sparkle: Without telling anypony?! Without asking permission?!
Fluttershy: But...
Philomena: [cough]
Twilight Sparkle: I know you had good intentions, but you have got to return the princess's pet!
Fluttershy: But...
Philomena: [deep breath]
Fluttershy: [sigh] You're right. Okay, let's...
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: ...go.
Twilight Sparkle: If we hurry, we can put her back before anypony even realizes she's missing. [gasp]
Guard 1: We were told we could find Twilight Sparkle here.
Guard 2: We regret to inform you, miss, that the royal pet has gone missing.
Twilight Sparkle: Really? You don't say! [nervous laughter]
Philomena: [cough]
Twilight Sparkle: [cough]
Philomena: [cough]
Twilight Sparkle: [cough]
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [excessive coughing]
Twilight Sparkle: It's that dry night air?
Fluttershy: But it's daytime.
Twilight Sparkle: Well... day air's even drier. You guards better be on your way if you're gonna find the princess's missing pet. Philomena, was it? Thank you ever so much for keeping me in the loop. Bye! [pants] Phew... What are you doing?!
Fluttershy: Going to return Philomena, remember?
Twilight Sparkle: We can't now!
Fluttershy: Why not?
Twilight Sparkle: You have no idea what the princess is gonna do if she finds you're the one who took her pet, do you?!
Fluttershy: Do you?
Twilight Sparkle: Well... no. But it can't be anything good. She might banish you from Equestria. Or throw you in a dungeon. Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!
Fluttershy: You really think the princess would do that?
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Granted that probably won't happen, but do you wanna take any chances?
Fluttershy: All that really matters to me is that poor little Philomena here gets well.
Philomena: [cough]
Twilight Sparkle: That's very noble of you. I'll write to you when you're banished. Unless I'm banished too somewhere there's no post office. Then you'll have to write to me. Deal?
Fluttershy: Please, Twilight. You just have to help me get Philomena healthy and then we can return her to the princess. And everything will be fine.
Twilight Sparkle: Did you give her any kind of medicine?
Fluttershy: I tried to, but she wouldn't take it.
Twilight Sparkle: [groan] Then you have to make her take it. You can't be such a pushover, Fluttershy! You need to show this patient who's the boss. Make her straighten up and fly right!
Fluttershy: She can't fly.
Twilight Sparkle: No excuses!
Twilight Sparkle: Done. Okay, what else?
Fluttershy: Uh... well, she keeps pulling her feathers off. The ones that haven't fallen out yet from all her coughing, I mean.
Twilight Sparkle: There you go.
Philomena: [groaning]
Fluttershy: I don't think she likes it.
Twilight Sparkle: Tough love, baby. You want her to get well, don't you?
Fluttershy: Of course, but...
Twilight Sparkle: Next!
Fluttershy: Well, she desperately needs some bed rest, but I can't get her to stay put.
Twilight Sparkle: One step ahead of you.
Fluttershy: It's for your own good, Philomena, I promise. Please, just relax and try to get some sleep.
Twilight Sparkle: What's this soup over here? Smells delicious.
Fluttershy: I made it for Philomena. But she wouldn't eat it.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she'll eat it, all right.
Philomena: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! Where are you going?
Fluttershy: No! Philomena! Come back!
[Benny Hill-esque music]
Rainbow Dash: What are you two doing? Are you having a race? Oh, can I play? One, two, three, go!
Pinkie Pie: [munching]
Fluttershy: Excuse me!
Pinkie Pie: Hi!
Twilight Sparkle: Beg your pardon!
Rarity: Put me down!
Applejack: What in tarnation?!
Fluttershy: Sorry, but we've gotta find...
Guard: The princess's pet bird!
Philomena: [cough]
Fluttershy: Philomena, come down from there! You'll hurt yourself!
Philomena: [cough, exaggerated death rattle] [repeats]
Fluttershy: I'll catch you!
Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
[Philomena bursts into flames]
Fluttershy: [gasp]
All except Fluttershy: [huge gasp]
Fluttershy: [cries and whimpers]
Princess Celestia: What is going on here? Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, your Majesty, there's been a terrible accident.
Fluttershy: It's all my fault.
Twilight Sparkle: No, Princess. Fluttershy didn't know any better. It was my fault.
Fluttershy: I'm the one who did it.
Twilight Sparkle: But you were only trying to help.
Fluttershy: Some help I was.
Twilight Sparkle: Will ya let me do this? She'll go easier on me.
Fluttershy: But it's my fault!
Twilight Sparkle: No, it's my fault!
Pinkie Pie: No, it's my fault! Wait, what are we talking about?
Fluttershy: Thanks for trying to protect me, Twilight, but... Princess Celestia, I'm the one who took your pet bird. I really was only trying to help the poor little thing. Then I was gonna bring it right back to you, honest. So, if you wanna banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to, then that's what I deserve.
Princess Celestia: Oh, stop fooling around, Philomena. You're scaring everypony.
[ponies gasp and awe]
Fluttershy: I don't understand! What is that thing? What happened to Philomena?
Princess Celestia: This is Philomena. She's quite a sight, as I said. But nothing unusual for a phoenix. Isn't that right, Philomena?
Philomena: [squawks]
Fluttershy: A... A phoenix?
Princess Celestia: A phoenix is a majestic and magical bird. While it appears healthy and happy most of the time, every so often it must renew itself by shedding all of its feathers and bursting into flame. [silently] Rather melodramatic, if you ask me. [loud again] It then rises from the ashes, fresh as a daisy. All just a normal part of the life cycle of a phoenix. I'm afraid mischievous little Philomena here took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Fluttershy. Say you're sorry, young lady.
[Philomena makes an "I'm sorry" sound]
Fluttershy: So... aren't you gonna banish me? Or throw me in a dungeon? Or banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to?
Princess Celestia: Of course not, my little pony. Where on Earth would you get such an idea?
Fluttershy: I guess I have some imagination.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy really did do everything she could to try to take care of Philomena for you.
Princess Celestia: And I do appreciate that your heart was in the right place, child. But all you had to do was ask me and I could have told you Philomena was a phoenix and saved you all this trouble.
Fluttershy: I know. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Next time I'll ask before taking matters into my own hooves.
Twilight Sparkle: Should I write you a letter about that lesson, Princess?
Princess Celestia: No, that's quite all right. I think I can remember.
Fluttershy: It's beautiful. Thank you, Philomena. No hard feelings.
Rainbow Dash: Hmm... [indistinct whispers] Hey, you know what you should do? You should go over there and tickle them!
[royal guards laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! [laughs]
[everypony laughs]
[music]
[credits]

The Cutie Mark Chronicles

Sweetie Belle: [gulp] Are you sure about this, Scootaloo? I've never even heard of a pony zip lining before.
Scootaloo: Neither have I, but Spike told me it was awesome!
[whooshing noises]
[whirring]
[smoke hissing]
[snap]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [scream]
[bonk]
Scootaloo: Whoa!
[honk]
Sweetie Belle: Oh!
Apple Bloom: Wah!
[crash]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ow!
Apple Bloom: See anything?
Scootaloo: Tree sap and pine needles but no cutie mark.
Sweetie Belle: Plan B?
Scootaloo: Yeah. You know where we can find a cannon at this hour? It's no use! No matter what we try, we always end up without our cutie marks. And, surprisingly often, covered in tree sap.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should do something less dangerous, like pillow testing or flower sniffing.
Apple Bloom: This town is full of ponies who have their cutie marks. Why don't we ask them how they did it?
Sweetie Belle: That's a great safe idea.
Scootaloo: Yeah! And we can start with the coolest pony in Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: Applejack!
Sweetie Belle: Rarity!
Scootaloo: Come on, guys, I said "cool"! You know who I'm talking about. She's fast. She's tough. She's not afraid of anything!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Pinkie Pie?
Scootaloo: No! The greatest flyer ever to come out of Cloudsdale.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Fluttershy?
Scootaloo: No! Rainbow Dash!
Apple Bloom: Oh! Yeah, that makes much more sense.
Sweetie Belle: Of course!
Scootaloo: Let's do it. Let's find out how Rainbow Dash earned her cutie mark!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Sweetie Belle: Aah! Uuh!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [groan]
[theme song]
[motor revving]
Scootaloo: [gasp]
[screech]
Applejack: Get back here, you thievin' varmints!
Apple Bloom: Thievin' what now?
[crash]
Applejack: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: Hey sis! How'd you get your cutie mark?
Applejack: I never told you that story?
Scootaloo: Hey! I thought we were gonna ask Rainbow Dash.
Apple Bloom: We need all the help we can get.
Scootaloo: Ugh. Fine.
Applejack: Why, shoot. I was just a little filly. Even littler than y'all.
Applejack: [voiceover] I didn't want to spend my life on a muddy old apple farm. I wanted to live the sophisticated life, like my Aunt n' Uncle Orange. So I set out to try my luck in the big city, Manehattan! The most cosmopolitan city in all of Equestria.
Count Caesar: Hey! Outta the way, you rube!
Applejack: [voiceover] I knew I'd find out who I was meant to be in Manehattan.
[knocking]
Young Applejack: Aunt Orange! Uncle Orange! Thank y'all so much for lettin' me stay!
Aunt Orange: "Y'all". [laughs] Isn't she just the living end?
Uncle Orange: [chuckle] How quaint.
Aunt Orange: Don't worry. We'll have you acting like a true Manehattanite in no time.
Tall Order: And how are you finding good old Manehattan?
Young Applejack: Oh, it's simply divine.
Aunt Orange: Very well said, my dear.
Young Applejack: Although, I must admit the city noise took some getting used to. Where I'm from, nights are so quiet, you seldom hear a peep until the roosters wake you.
Dane Tee Dove: The... what?
Tall Order: I say, my dear, what in the world is a "rooster"?
Young Applejack: [voiceover] What's he talking about? What do I say? I don't wanna look like a fool.
[bell rings]
Pony: Dinner is served.
Young Applejack: Thank goodness. Being a city pony's hard work. I'm so hungry I could eat a...
Young Applejack: Cock-a-doodle-doo... Oh, I wonder what Granny Smith and Big McIntosh are up to. I bet they're applebuckin' their way through the Red Delicious trees. Oh, what I wouldn't give for just one bite...
Applejack: [voiceover] I never felt so homesick in all my days as I did right then.
[explosion]
Applejack: [voiceover] It was amazin'! A rainbow pointin' right back to... home. In that moment, it all became clear. I knew right then just who I was supposed to be. That's when this here appeared.
Applejack: I've been happily workin' in the farm ever since.
[bunnies blow raspberry]
Applejack: There they are! Get back here, ya thievin' varmints!
Sweetie Belle: Aw. That was such a sweet story!
Scootaloo: Sweet? Try sappy. [mock-gags] Come on! We've got to find Rainbow Dash and hear the cool way to get a cutie mark.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [scream]
Fluttershy: All right, little ones. This way. This way. You really should be more careful. Somepony could get hurt. Why are you in such a hurry anyway?
Scootaloo: We're trying to find Rainbow Dash, so we can hear how she earned her cutie mark.
Fluttershy: Oh, that would be interesting. You know, I wouldn't have gotten my cutie mark if it weren't for her.
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash?! Really?!
Fluttershy: Oh yes. It all started at Summer Flight Camp.
Fluttershy: [voiceover] You'd never guess, but when I was little I was very shy. And a very weak flyer.
Young Fluttershy: [yelping]
Young "Dumb-Bell": [laughter] Nice going, "Klutzershy"! They oughtta ground you permanently.
Young Hoops: Ha! My baby brother can fly better than you!
Fluttershy: [voiceover] It was the most humiliating moment of my life. And then, out of nowhere...
Young Rainbow Dash: Leave her alone!
Young Hoops: Ooh, what are you gonna do, "Rainbow Crash"?
Young Rainbow Dash: Keep making fun of her and find out!
Young "Dumb-Bell": You think you're such a big shot? Why don't you prove it?
Young Rainbow Dash: Whaddya have in mind?
Young Hoops: You're going down!
Young Rainbow Dash: In history, maybe. See you boys at the finish line!
Young Fluttershy: [yelps] [screams]
Young Fluttershy: [screaming] Huh?
Fluttershy: [voiceover] I had never seen such beautiful creatures. Butterflies don't fly as high as my cloud home. And I'd never been near the ground before.
[Young Fluttershy]
What is this place
Filled with so many wonders?
Casting its spell
That I am now under
Squirrels in the trees
And the cute little bunnies
Birds flying free
And bees with their honey
Hooooonneeeeeeey!
Oooh, what a magical place
And I owe it all to the Pegasus race
If I knew the ground had so much up its sleeve 
I'd have come here sooner, and never leave
Yes, I love ev-er-ythiiiiing!
[explosion]
[hysterical animal sounds]
Young Fluttershy: Shhh. It's okay. You can come out. Everything's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Fluttershy: [voiceover] Somehow I had the ability to communicate with the animals on a different level.
Scootaloo: Wait, wait, wait. What happened to Rainbow Dash? What about the race?
Fluttershy: Oh. Well, I wasn't there, so I don't really know what happened.
Scootaloo: Come on, Crusaders. We've gotta find her. Besides, I can't take anymore singing.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe my sister knows where she is. Bye, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Bye, girls!
Scootaloo: How did we get roped into this? Oh, we'll never hear Rainbow Dash's story.
Rarity: Are you girls still obsessing over your cutie marks?
Sweetie Belle: Of course! Most of the fillies at school already have theirs.
Rarity: Mmm, I know how you feel. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't have mine.
[music]
Rarity's teacher: Well done, Rarity. Your costumes are very nice.
Young Rarity: Nice?! They need to be spectacular! And the performance is tomorrow!
Rarity: [voiceover] I tried every trick I could think of, but nothing seemed to work. The costumes just weren't right, and the play opened that night.
Young Rarity: Maybe I'm not meant to be a fashionista after all... Aah! What's going on?!
Rarity: [voiceover] I had no idea where my horn was taking me. But unicorn magic doesn't happen without a reason. I knew this had to do with my love of fashion and maybe even my cutie mark! I knew that this was... My destiny!
Young Rarity: A rock?! That's my destiny?! What is your problem, horn? I followed you all the way out here for a rock?! [groans] Dumb rock!
[explosion]
Young Rarity: [scream]
[rock cracks]
Young Rarity: Ooh!
[music]
[ponies awing]
Scootaloo: Ugh! These namby-pamby stories aren't getting us any closer to our cutie marks! They're all about finding who you really are and boring stuff like that.
Rarity: Yes, Scootaloo, that's exactly...
Scootaloo: Come on, girls! We need action! We need Rainbow Dash!
Twilight Sparkle: As a young filly in Canterlot, I always wanted to go to the Summer Sun Celebration, where Princess Celestia raises the sun.
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] And I saw the most amazing, most wonderful thing I've ever seen.
[trumpet fanfare]
[ponies awing and cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] I poured myself into learning everything I could about magic.
Young Twilight Sparkle: [grunting] [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] My parents decided to enroll me in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. It was a dream come true! Except for one thing... I had to pass an entrance exam!
Crystal Clear: Well, Miss Sparkle?
Young Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughter]
Crystal Clear: Well, Miss Sparkle?
Arpeggio: [cough]
Young Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
Top Marks: [yawn]
Crystal Clear: We don't have all day.
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] I knew it was the most important day of my life, that my entire future would be affected by the outcome of this day and I was about to blow it!
Young Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry I wasted your time.
[explosion]
Young Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[magic surging]
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle.
Young Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...
Princess Celestia: You have a very special gift. I don't think I've ever come across a unicorn with your raw abilities.
Young Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Princess Celestia: But you need to learn to tame these abilities through focused study.
Young Twilight Sparkle: Huh?!
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, I'd like to make you my own personal protégé here at the school.
Young Twilight Sparkle: Huh?!
Princess Celestia: Well?
Young Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Princess Celestia: One other thing, Twilight.
Young Twilight Sparkle: More? My cutie mark! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes...
Twilight Sparkle: ...yesyesyesyes...
Apple Bloom: Okay, okay.
Sweetie Belle: We're happy for you, Twilight.
Scootaloo: Yeah, thrilled. Let's get out of here while we still can.
Twilight Sparkle: ...yesyes, yeeees!
Cherry Fizzy: Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: [giggle] Um... yes.
Scootaloo: Ugh! Why don't we ever smash into Rainbow Dash?!
Pinkie Pie: You're looking for Rainbow Dash? If I was her, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner. Of course, if I was anyone, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner. Hey! I have an idea! Wanna go to Sugarcube Corner?
Sweetie Belle: Well, we're sort of looking for Rainbow Dash, so we can hear how she got her cutie mark.
Pinkie Pie: Cutie mark? Come with me and I'll tell you how I got mine!
Scootaloo: [sigh] Why not?
Pinkie Pie: All right!
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] My sisters and I were raised on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. We spent our days working the fields. There was no talking. There was no smiling. [sigh] There were only rocks.
[bell ringing]
Pinkie Pie: We were in the south field, preparing to rotate the rocks to the east field, when all of a sudden...
[explosion]
[wind whistling]
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] I'd never felt joy like that before! It felt so good I just wanted to keep smiling forever! And I wanted everyone I knew to smile too, but rainbows don't come along that often. I wondered, how else could I create some smiles?
[rooster crows]
Igneous Rock Pie: We better harvest the rocks from the south field.
[muffled music]
Cloudy Quartz: Pinkamena Diane Pie! Is that you?
Young Pinkie Pie: Mom! I need you and dad and the sisters to come in. Quick!
[door creaks open]
Young Pinkie Pie: Surprise! You like it? It's called... a party!
[party tweeter]
Young Pinkie Pie: Oh. You don't like it. [gasp] You like it! I'm so happy!
Pinkie Pie: And that's how Equestria was made!
Scootaloo: Wha... huh?
Apple Bloom: Look! We're here!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe on the way home I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark. It's a gem!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, come on. She's just being Pinkie Pie.
Scootaloo: Ugh...
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash! You're here!
Rainbow Dash: I hear you're looking for my cutie mark story.
Scootaloo: [sigh] You have no idea what I've been through today to hear that story.
Rainbow Dash: It all happened during the race at Flight Camp...
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] ...where I stood alone against all odds to defend Fluttershy's honor.
Young Fluttershy: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] I've never flown like that before! That freedom was unlike anything I've ever felt! The speed, the adrenaline, the wind in my mane... I liked it... a lot!
Young Rainbow Dash: Ow!
Young Hoops: Ha! Later, Rainbow Crash!
Young Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] Turns out the only thing I liked more than flying fast... was winning!
[explosion]
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] Most people thought that the sonic rainboom was just an old mare's tale. But that day... The day I discovered racing... I proved that the legends were true. I made the impossible happen!
[Pegasi cheering]
Rainbow Dash: And that, little ones, is how you earn a cutie mark.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whooooaaaa...
Fluttershy: Wait a second. I heard that explosion. And I saw the rainbow too. Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark.
Pinkie Pie: I heard that boom! And right afterwards, there was this amazing rainbow that taught me to smile.
Applejack: When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home. I bet it was your sonic rainboom!
Rarity: There was an explosion I could never explain when I got my cutie mark.
Twilight Sparkle: This is uncanny! If that explosion didn't happen when it did, I would have blown my entrance exam. Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn my cutie mark too!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: We all owe our cutie marks to you!
Fluttershy: Do you realize what this means? All of us had a special connection before we even met.
Rarity: We've been BFFs forever and we didn't even know it!
Applejack: Come here, y'all.
Mane Six: AWWW!!!
Fluttershy: I'm so glad we're friends!
Pinkie Pie: I love you, guys!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Awwww...
Scootaloo: Ewwww... Gimme a break. Come on, Crusaders! Maybe we just need to try zip lining again. [sigh]
Fluttershy: Hey. How about a song?
[cries of approval]
Pinkie Pie: Definitely!
Scootaloo: Nooooo!
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned something amazing. Everypony everywhere has a special magical connection with her friends, maybe even before she's met them. If you're feeling lonely and you're still searching for your true friends, just look up in the sky. Who knows? Maybe you and your future best friends are all looking at the same rainbow.
Spike: Gross! When did you get so cheesy?
Twilight Sparkle: Just write it, Spike.
[music]
[credits]

Owl's Well That Ends Well

Twilight Sparkle: This meteor shower tonight's gonna be amazing!
Spike: Awesome!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, this shower only happens once every 100 years.
Spike: A centennial celebration!
Twilight Sparkle: We better get a move on!
Spike: Don't wanna be late! Whoa, whoa, whoa! [sigh] There.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, did you grab my quill and ink?
Spike: Check!
Twilight Sparkle: Scrolls?
Spike: Check! I've also packed a telescope, apples, bananas, fruit punch, and my freshly baked homemade triple-decker nut-crazy vanilla cream cookies!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggle] I can see that. Once again you've read my mind, Spike. And that is why you are my number one assistant.
Spike: I'm sorry. I didn't hear you.
Twilight Sparkle: That is why you are my number one assistant.
Spike: Missed that! Huh...?
Twilight Sparkle: I said... [giggle] Come on, let's get going. Wait! I almost forgot! I wanna bring the "Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy".
Spike: The Astronomo-lomo homono what?
Twilight Sparkle: You know that really old big blue book on stars, moons, planets, the universe...?
Spike: Right. Check! Ah... Ahh... Ahhh... Ahhhh...! [sigh] [huge sneeze]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! What's taking my number one assistant so long?
[ominous music]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: I was sure I put the astronomer's guide back. The book would have helped me identify different planets and stars tonight.
Spike: Well... Maybe someone borrowed it? Besides, you don't need that book. You can already name all the planets and stars, 'cause you're super smart and astronomically awesome!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike. You're such a flatterer.
Spike: Yeah, I'm a sweet talker.
Twilight Sparkle: And a number one assistant, right?
Spike: Check!
Rainbow Dash: [munch] [gulp] Wow, Twilight! You're lucky to have such a rad assistant. I wish I had someone to do whatever I told them.
Scootaloo: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me! I'll do whatever you want, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah, pipsqueak? How about taking out the trash?
Scootaloo: Yes ma'am!
Rarity: Do we have Spike to thank again for this amazing spread? Isn't he simply amazing?
Spike: Oh, come on. [pause] I said come on.
Pinkie Pie: Little Spikey-wikey! Who knew that big ferocious dragon started off so cutesy wootsy?
Rarity: Spike, you are such a little star that I had to make a little bow tie for you.
Spike: Gosh. You guys are embarrassing me. Stop it. [pause] Twilight, your turn.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, that's enough.
Spike: Oh, right. That's enough.
Sweetie Belle: Hey, everypony! The show is starting!
[Everybody: Wow, that's amazing!/It's really cool./Once!]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Wow...
Spike: [yawn] Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Mmm. Wow! These cookies are delish!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike made them. Speaking of, Spike, can you bring us some punch? Spike?
Spike: [snoring]
Rarity: Oh, poor little thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Aww... He's worked himself to the bone.
Pinkie Pie: And now the punch has been... "spiked"!
[ponies laughing]
Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Goodnight, Spike. [giggle] Sweet dreams, number one assistant. [sigh] "The Study of Comets. Comets are small, irregularly shaped bodies that are made of nonvolatile grains and frozen gases. They..."
[creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. "...have body structures that are fragile and diverse..."
[creaking]
[wind whistling]
Twilight Sparkle: Shoot! Oh... This is a job for Spike. If only he were awake...
Owlowiscious: Hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Don't go! Don't be afraid. Thank you for returning my scroll.
Owlowiscious: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo-hoo.
Twilight Sparkle: Gosh, it's cold tonight. Say, would you like to relax in here and keep me company while I work?
Owlowiscious: Hoo! Hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Now, where was I? Oh, yes. "...fragile and diverse with a surrounding cloud of material called a coma, that grows in size and brightness as the comet approaches the sun..."
Spike: [snoring] Huh? Waah! I overslept! I know it's already ten, but I'm scaly-tailed and bright-eyed and ready to work twice as fast! Oh please, don't be upset, Twilight! And what do you want for breakfast? Oatmeal? How about a sunflower smoothie? Grass pancakes?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, don't worry.
Spike: But my morning chores...
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay. Owlowiscious did them for you.
Spike: Who?
Twilight Sparkle: He's our new junior assistant. He's gonna help out with your chores so you won't be so tired all the time.
Spike: Wha... Wh... What do we need a junior assistant for? I'm not tired. I do fine on my own. I don't need sleep, I...
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, don't worry. He's just here to help out a little. Now, I have to go out, so why don't you introduce yourself to Owlowiscious? He's in the library.
Spike: Worried? Do I look worried? I'm not worried. Who's worried? Hello? Hellooo! Whoa! Dude, that's creepy. Uh... Hi there! I'm Spike. I'm sure Twilight has told you all about me.
Owlowiscious: Hoo.
Spike: Uh, Spike? You know, assistant number one?
Owlowiscious: Hoo?
Spike: I'm Spike! And who are you? What are you?
Owlowiscious: Hoo!
Spike: Who?
Owlowiscious: Hoo!
Spike: I thought your name was Owlowiscious!
Owlowiscious: Hoo?
Spike: Okay, "Who", "Owlowiscious", whatever. I'm Spike, okay? Look! All you need to know is that I'm number one and you're number two. Got it?
Owlowiscious: Hoo?
Spike: So, a man of mystery, huh? I'm keeping my eye on you! I've got eyes in the back of my head too, you know? [crash] Well, not really, but... You know what I mean!
[door slams]
Spike: That bird is out for my job. He wants to be number one. I'll prove to Twilight that I deserve to be number one. Not Freaky Feathers over there. I won't let him have my job if it's the last thing I do!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, what a fantastical, flufflicious feathery little friend! I'm... Hooked!
[everybody laughs]
Fluttershy: He's just wonderful.
Spike: [mocking] "He's just wonderful." Uh, yes. Wonderful. He's quite... the charmer.
Rarity: And Owlowiscious is just such a star I just had to make this little bow for you.
Spike: Grrr!
Applejack: What's he all saddle sore about?
Rainbow Dash: He's probably just jealous of Owlowiscious.
Fluttershy: Maybe Spike feels threatened or worried that Owlowiscious will replace him?
Twilight Sparkle: Replace him? Hah! That's crazy! Spike knows he can't be replaced.
Spike: They're trying to replace me! I better step it up and make sure that Twilight and Owlowiscious know that I'm still number one!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike! Can you fetch me that book called "Two-headed Myth—
Spike: ...Mythological Mysteries!" I know where it is.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Owlowiscious. Hey, Spike, no worries. Owlowiscious flew up and got the book for me. Oh, and gee! I guess I need "Ferrets of Fairyland" too.
Spike: Hey! Whoa! Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Climb down from there before you fall.
[crash]
Spike: Grrr!
[snap]
Twilight Sparkle: Shoot!
Spike: Yes, sir!
Twilight Sparkle: My last writing quill. It's broken.
Spike: Never fear! Spike, your number one assistant, is here! [under his breath] Quill... Quill... Where is it? Not here... Quill... Quill, where is it...?
Owlowiscious: Hoo.
Spike: Where am I gonna get a quill?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, wait! Wait!
Spike: But the store is called "Quills and Sofas". You only sell two things!
Davenport: Sorry, Junior. All outta quills until Monday. Need a sofa?
Spike: [groan]
Pinkie Pie: I swore I had one here somewhere. Ah, here it is! A quince!
Spike: Not a quince. A quill!
Pinkie Pie: Right. A quail? A quilt! A quesadilla? Aha! A quiche! [pronounced phonetically]
Spike: Not a quiche. [pronounced correctly] A quill!
Pinkie Pie: Nope. Sorry. All outta quills.
Spike: [sigh] Shoot.
Spike: Come on, chicken! Here, chicky-chicky-chicky! Here, chick-chick-chick-chicky! Come here! Ugh! Come here! [grunting] Not the face, not the face! No! Hey! Stop! Quit it!
Spike: [panting] Spike... to the rescue.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. I was calling out for you when you were turning this place upside down. Owlowiscious gave me one of his feathers to use as a quill.
Spike: That's just great. Perfect! Sweet! I think I'll just, uh... finish up the rest of my chores! Or did Owlowiscious already do them?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no no. There are quite a lot of them.
Spike: Well, that's fine. Because I can just stay up all night and finish– [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Poor Spike. He'll come around. He's genuinely a good little guy.
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike. What is this? You said this book was missing. Well, Owlowiscious found it right where it belongs, but like this. How did it get this way?
Spike: Uh... Well, um... You see, I... I just didn't wanna disappoint you and, uh... Have you ever seen a dragon sneeze?
Twilight Sparkle: I've seen a dragon lie. I'm very disappointed in you, Spike.
Spike: [to Owlowiscious] You set me up! Well, two can play that game.
Owlowiscious: Hoo!
Spike: Not "who"! Two! Urgh!
Spike: Owlowiscious is out to take my place, I just know it! I've gotta stop him. But how?
[mouse squeaking]
Spike: Ah... Muahahaha!
Rarity: Come along, Opal. Let's hurry up and get to Fluttershy's tea party.
Spike: So lifelike. And when Twilight discovers it shredded up on her floor, she'll think mouse-eating Owlowiscious is to blame. And I'll be number one... again! Muhahaha!
Spike: [evil laugh] That poor little field mouse! Torn to pieces! It must have been Owlowiscious! You know, since owls eat, you know, mice. What a terrible, terrible bird! He must be punished! Right?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! I don't know what upsets me more. That you deliberately tried to set up Owlowiscious or that you actually thought this pathetic attempt would work! You've let your jealousy get the best of you, Spike. I am truly disappointed. This is not the Spike I know and love.
Spike: She... She doesn't love me anymore.
Spike: Twilight hates me. I'm cold, hungry, tired and lonely. Could it get any worse?
[thunder]
[rain falls]
Spike: I guess that's a yes. Hello? Hello?
[thunder]
Spike: What is that? If this is what running away is all about, I never wanna go home! Gems! Mmm... Woohoo!
Spike: [hiccup] Even if my tummy's full, the rest of me is still empty. I miss Twilight and the pony gang. But she doesn't love me anymore. So, I'm better off here, all by myself. Wow. Seems to be getting warmer. The steam is great for my complexion, but it's sure getting hot in here.
Green dragon: What are you doing in my cave? And why are you eating my gems?
Spike: Heyah bro! I didn't know this was your cave. And I didn't know these were your gems, but... we're cool, right?
Green dragon: [growl]
Spike: Whoa, whoa! Hey... We're like brothers, you know? I mean, you're a dragon, I'm a dragon... It's us against the world, right?
Green dragon: [roar]
Spike: You don't scare me! So you're big.
Green dragon: [growl]
Spike: Really big. And your claws are super sharp. Tail... extra spiky. But, uh... You don't scare me! Ha! How'd you like that? Uh... I'd love to stay, but gotta go! See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya! Aah!
Owlowiscious: Hoo-hoo!
Green dragon: [roar] [wail]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Over here!
Spike: Am I glad to see you!
Twilight Sparkle: Hurry! Hop on! It's too dark! I can't see!
Owlowiscious: Hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Green dragon: [roar]
Spike: [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: [pants] Spike. We were so worried about you. I was so worried about you. Why did you run away?
Spike: I thought you didn't need me anymore. And that you didn't love me anymore.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike. Sure, I was disappointed, but you are my number one assistant! And friend. And you always will be. It's just that sometimes I need some help at night. I can't ask you to stay up late. You're a baby dragon and you need your rest. Owls are nocturnal. So I asked Owlowiscious to help. But not to take your place. No one could ever replace you, Spike. Not even when you are being a jealous numbskull.
Spike: I'm sorry, Twilight. I never should have been so jealous.
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm sorry too, Spike. I should have been more sensitive.
Spike: And Owlowiscious... I know now that you weren't out to take my job. Forgive me?
Owlowiscious: Hoo?
Spike: Me. Forgive me, Spike.
Owlowiscious: Hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggle] He forgives you, Spike.
Spike: Hey! How did you guys know where I was?
Twilight Sparkle: It was your ketchup-covered feet. Owlowiscious discovered your footprints and we followed them all the way to the cave.
Spike: Oh yeah, the ketchup. It looked pretty real though, didn't it? Uh... [nervous giggle]
Twilight Sparkle: I know Princess Celestia will wanna read about what happened today...
Spike: I'm ready when you are.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike. Why don't you write to Princess Celestia? And tell her what you've learned?
Spike: Really? Why, that's a big responsibility!
Twilight Sparkle: I know. But nothing my number one assistant can't handle.
Spike: Dear Princess Celestia,
This is Spike, writing to you about my adventures. This week I've learned that being jealous and telling lies gets you nowhere in friendship. I also learned that there's plenty of love for every friend to share. So from here on out, I promise, that I, Spike, will... [drops asleep]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike.
Owlowiscious: Hoo?
Twilight Sparkle: Who? Spike! You kno... Ohhhh... [giggle]
[music]
[credits]

Party of One

[knocking]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Hi, Pinkie Pie...
[Pinkie Pie]
This is your singing telegram
I hope it finds you well
You're invited to a party
'Cause we think you're really swell
Gummy's turning one year old
So help us celebrate
The cake will be delicious
The festivities first-rate
There will be games and dancing
Bob for apples, cut a rug [pop]
And when the party's over
We'll gather 'round for a group hug
[Slowing down]
No need to bring a gift
Being there will be enough
Birthdays mean having fun with friends
Not getting lots of stuff
[Breathing heavily]
It won't be the same without you
So we hope that you say yes
So, please, oh please R.S.V.P.
And come, and be our guest!
Pinkie Pie: [rasping voice] Next time, I think I'll just pass out written invitations.
[theme song]
[music]
Rainbow Dash: Nice one! Now, let me show you how it's really done.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, girls!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Pinkie Pie!
Applejack: Howdy!
Pinkie Pie: [squeal] Just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you could make it to Gummy's party.
Applejack: Are you kiddin'? I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Rainbow Dash: Me neither. When Pinkie Pie throws a party, I am there! Ta-da!
Pinkie Pie: Aw! It's just a boring old apple. Don't worry, there are plenty of other surprises in there.
Rainbow Dash: [spits] What kind of surprises?
Pinkie Pie: I can't tell you that, silly. Then it wouldn't be a surprise.
Applejack: [laughs]
Rarity: This punch is simply divine. Is this the same recipe you used for your "Spring Has Sprung" party?
Pinkie Pie: Nope! Something new.
Rarity: [spits]
Pinkie Pie: It's Gummy's favorite.
Rarity: [gulp]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, this is my jam!
Rarity: [spits]
Pinkie Pie: Having fun?
Twilight Sparkle: A blast!
Fluttershy: You always throw the best parties, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: They're always the best parties 'cause my best friends are always there!
Twilight Sparkle: Yah!
Fluttershy: [yelp]
Pinkie Pie: C'mon, everypony! Gummy wants to dance! Go, Gummy! It's your birthday! Go, Gummy! It's your birthday!
Applejack: Hoo-wee! I am beat! I haven't danced that much since... Well, since your last party. Thanks again for the invite!
Rainbow Dash: See ya later, birthday alligator!
Rarity: Bravo for hosting yet another delightful soiree.
Fluttershy: It's been lovely.
Pinkie Pie: You sure you don't wanna stay? There's still some cake left.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I think I'm gonna pass. Great party though. We should do this again soon.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] We should do this again soon!
[knocking]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Hi, Pinki-
Pinkie Pie: It's soon!
Twilight Sparkle: Pardon me?
Pinkie Pie: You said we should have another party soon, and... it's soon! Here's your invitation!
Twilight Sparkle: "You're invited to Gummy's 'after-birthday' party. This afternoon at 3 o'clock."
Pinkie Pie: All our bestest friends are invited, and there's gonna be dancing, and games, and cake, and ice-cream, and punch!
Twilight Sparkle: This afternoon? As in, "this afternoon" this afternoon?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, indeedy!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, gosh. I wish I could make it, but I've gotten a bit behind in my studies. I've really gotta hit the books.
Pinkie Pie: I understand. Your studies come first. But don't worry, we'll be sure to save you some cake.
Twilight Sparkle: Please do.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! And Twilight, you shouldn't hit the books. You should really just read them.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll keep that in mind.
Applejack: Huh? Oh, hi, Pinkie Pie! What brings you 'round these parts?
Pinkie Pie: Who's ready to shake their hoof-thang?! It's an invitation to Gummy's "after-birthday" party this afternoon. There's gonna be dancing, and games, and cake, and ice-cream, and punch!
Applejack: This afternoon? A-as in, "this afternoon" this afternoon?
Pinkie Pie: That's funny. That's just what Twilight said, and the answer is, "Yes! It's this afternoon!"
Applejack: Uh, well, I... I... uh... I don't think I can make it 'cause... uh... I have to... uh... uh, you know what? I... uh... pick apples! Yep, apples! 'Cause that's what we do! With the... apples. We, uh... pick 'em!
[pause]
Applejack: [gulp]
Pinkie Pie: Okey-dokey-lokey! A party is still a party, even if there are only three guests.
Applejack: [sigh]
Spike: [grunts] Anything else I can do for you, most beautiful one?
Rarity: [sniff] [whimper] Hmm... perhaps you could take a bath. How do I put this delicately? You smell like a rotten apple core that's been wrapped in moldy hay and dipped in dragon perspiration.
Spike: [sigh]
Rarity: Ooh! Love the new hat. Very modern. What's the occasion?
Pinkie Pie: Gummy's "after-birthday" party is this afternoon. I'm delivering the invitations.
Rarity: The party is this afternoon? As in, "this afternoon" this afternoon?
Pinkie Pie: It's so strange. Everypony keeps saying that.
Rarity: Oh... do they?
Pinkie Pie: I know it's short notice, but we had such a great time at his birthday party, I thought we could have even more fun at his after-birthday party.
Rarity: And I'm sure that we would, but I'm going to have to decline. I have to... wash my hair!
Pinkie Pie: Don't be silly, your hair doesn't look dirty.
Rarity: It doesn't?
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
Rarity: See? [gag] Dirty! I have to go!
Pinkie Pie: Huh... No Twilight, no Applejack, no Rarity. Oh well, a party is still a party even with only two guests.
Rainbow Dash: This afternoon?
Fluttershy: As in...?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! As in, "this afternoon" this afternoon!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, man! We'd love to, but... we're... house-sitting this afternoon.
Pinkie Pie: [sigh] Both of you?
Fluttershy: It's... uh... a big house.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, look at the time! We'd really better get going.
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Maybe I could bring you some after-birthday cake and ice-cream. Who're you house-sitting for?
Rainbow Dash: Harry.
Pinkie Pie: Harry?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I don't think you know him.
Pinkie Pie: That's strange. I know just about everypony around here.
Fluttershy: He's... a bear.
Pinkie Pie: A bear?
Rainbow Dash: Yup! He's a bear all right, and he'll be pretty upset if we don't get over to his house soon.
Pinkie Pie: Wait! There's a bear around here who lives in a house?
Fluttershy: It's, uh, really more of a cave.
Rainbow Dash: But he's fixed up the place so much, it feels like a house.
Fluttershy: And, uh, he wants us to look after his house... uh, cave... while he's, uh...
Rainbow Dash: A-at the beach!
Pinkie Pie: He's vacationing at the beach?
Rainbow Dash: Yup! He loves to...
Fluttershy:
Collect sea shells!
...Play beach volleyball!
...Collect volleyballs!
Rainbow Dash:
Play beach volleyball!
...Collect sea shells!
...Play sea shells!
Rainbow Dash: Gotta go!
Pinkie Pie: Something strange is definitely going on around here, Gummy. Sure Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had to house-sit for that vacationing bear, but what are the chances all my other friends would have plans this afternoon too? Rarity has to wash her hair? Applejack has to pick apples? Twilight is behind on her studies and has to hit the books? The more I think about it, the more those are starting to sound like... [gasp] excuses!
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: That doesn't look like studying... or hitting!
[bell rings]
Mrs. Cake: Ooh! You must be here for...
Twilight Sparkle: Shh! Is Pinkie Pie around?
Mrs. Cake: Oh, I don't think so.
Twilight Sparkle: Good. I don't wanna her to know anything about this.
Mrs. Cake: Yes, of course. I'll be right back.
Pinkie Pie: But... we're friends. What wouldn't Twilight want me to know anything about? [gasp] She's coming back.
Mrs. Cake: [muffled] There you go!
Twilight Sparkle: [muffled] Thanks, and remember, not a word to Pinkie Pie. Hey! What's with the tin can? [yelp]
Pinkie Pie: Time to get to the bottom of things! [gasp] I think our cover's been blown! We'll need a new disguise.
[doorbell rings]
Rarity: She didn't see you at the sweet shop, did she?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think so.
Rarity: Oh, good. I'd hate for her to ruin everything.
Twilight Sparkle: Me too.
Gummy: [sneeze]
Rarity: Have you seen her?
Fluttershy: Not since this morning.
Rarity: Me neither. Can you believe she was planning on throwing an after-birthday party today?
Fluttershy: I'm just glad I was able to come up with an excuse for why I couldn't be there.
Rarity: Me too! This is obviously going to be so much better.
Fluttershy: As long as we keep her from finding out about it, it will.
Rarity: [whispering] See you later!
Fluttershy: [gasp] [scream]
Pinkie Pie: I thought everypony loved my parties.
Rainbow Dash: Hi, Pinkie Pie! Uh-oh!
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! Wait!
Rainbow Dash: Phew...
Pinkie Pie: Where're you going?!
Rainbow Dash: Ah!
[shriek]
Pinkie Pie: What's the real reason you didn't want to come to Gummy's party?!
[bell ringing]
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Pinkie Pie: What's in the bags?!
Rainbow Dash: Applejack! We have a problem!
Applejack: [gasp]
[pounding]
Pinkie Pie: I know you're IN THERE!
Applejack: Oh! Howdy, pardner!
Pinkie Pie: Mind if I... take a look inside the barn?
Applejack: No! Uh, I mean, yes, I mean... you can't come in here!
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash just went in there.
Applejack: Oh, well, she was just bringin' in some... supplies! Yup, supplies for the... renovation! Fixin' up the whole thing, top to bottom... uh, lots of construction goin' on in there right now.
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] You heard her! Construction!
[ponies mimicking noises of various construction tools]
Applejack: Yup! Construction! That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it. [nervous laugh] [gulp]
[pause]
Pinkie Pie: Okey... dokey... lokey.
Applejack: [relieved sigh]
Rest of main cast: [relieved sigh]
Pinkie Pie: Secrets and lies! It's all secrets and lies with those ponies! They're up to something, Gummy! Something they don't want me to know about! Well, I'm gonna know about it! I'm gonna know about it big time! And I know just who's gonna tell me all about it. Tell me all about it big time!
Spike: Wow! Nice spread!
Pinkie Pie: It's all yours, Spike. All you have to do is talk.
Spike: That's it? Oh, you got it. Okay... uh, beautiful weather we're having, eh? I love a sunny spring day, don't you? The birds chirpin' and the flowers bloomin'.
Pinkie Pie: No, no, no. Talk about our friends.
Spike: Oh, okay. Let's see, there's Twilight Sparkle. She's a unicorn. Good with magic. A real brainiac. And then you got Rarity. Total knockout. Twilight seems to think I don't even have a chance with her, but... eh, what does she know? Let's see. There's... there's Fluttershy, a Pegasus who's afraid of heights. Heh, what's up with that?
Pinkie Pie: Grr! No! You're not understanding me! I want you to confess!
Spike: Confess?
Pinkie Pie: Confess!
Spike: I'm the one who spilled juice all over Twilight's copy of "Magical Mysteries and Practical Potions"!
Pinkie Pie: And?
Spike: And I'm the one who used up all the hot water in Ponyville yesterday when I took a seven-hour bubble bath!
Pinkie Pie: Aaand?
Spike: And sometimes... when no one's around... I do this: Lookin' good, Spike! Lookin' real good!
Pinkie Pie: No! No! No! No!
Spike: W-What do you wanna hear? Tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it!
Pinkie Pie: Tell me that my friends are all lying to me and avoiding me because they don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore! [panting]
Spike: Your friends are all lying to you and avoiding you 'cause they don't like your parties and they don't want to be your friends anymore!
Pinkie Pie: Aha! I knew it! [balloon deflating noise] Oh no, my friends don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore.
Spike: Uh... so... [loud eating noises]
Pinkie Pie: [sigh]
Pinkie Pie: Thank you all so much for coming! It means so much to Gummy.
Pinkie Pie voicing a bucket of turnips: Could I have some more punch?
Pinkie Pie: Well, of course you can have some more punch, Mr. Turnip. [twang]
Pinkie Pie voicing a pile of rocks: This is one great pahty! You really outdone yourself!
Pinkie Pie: Why, thank you, Rocky.
Pinkie Pie voicing a clump of lint: I'm having a delightful time as well.
Pinkie Pie: I'm so glad, Sir Lintsalot. [ding]
Pinkie Pie voicing a bag of flour: Might I trouble you for anozer slice of cake?
Pinkie Pie: Anything for you, Madame le Flour.
Pinkie Pie [as Rocky]: I'm just glad none o' them ponies showed up.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, they're not so bad.
[low string instrument whine]
Rocky: Not so bad? Puh-lease! They're a buncha losers!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, c'mon now. "Losers" might be a little strong, dont'cha think?
Sir Lintsalot: After the way they treated you? I say "losers" isn't strong enough.
Pinkie Pie: Well, it was pretty rude...
Madame le Flour: Pretty rude? It was downright deespicable!
Pinkie Pie: It was, wasn't it?
Mr. Turnip: If I were you, I wouldn't speak to them ever again.
Pinkie Pie: You know what? I'm not gonna speak to them ever again. And I'm not gonna invite them to another party as long as I live! They don't deserve to be invited to my parties. [plink] Not after the way they've been acting.
Madame le Flour: [clapping] Deeespicable!
Sir Lintsalot: Such losers!
Madame le Flour: Yes, zat's right.
Pinkie Pie [as Mr. Turnip]: Well done.
Pinkie Pie [as Sir Lintsalot]: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie [as Rocky]: You show 'em!
[knocking]
Pinkie Pie: Who could that be?
Rainbow Dash: Hey there, Pinkie Pie! Sorry I was in such a rush earlier. Had some place to be and couldn't slow down and say, "Hello." You know how it goes.
Pinkie Pie: I know how it goes, all right!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah... so, why don't you come with me over to Sweet Apple Acres?
Pinkie Pie: No thanks. I'm spending time with my real friends. Isn't that right, Madame le Flour?
Pinkie Pie [as Madame le Flour]: Oui! Zat iz correct, madame.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Another slice of cake, Sir Lintsalot?
Pinkie Pie [as Sir Lintsalot]: I'd love one.
Rainbow Dash: Aaallrighty. What do you say we get on out of Creepytown and head over to Applejack's...
Pinkie Pie [as Mr. Turnip]: She's not going anywhere.
Pinkie Pie: I most certainly am not. I'm having a wonderful time right here.
Rainbow Dash: You should really just come with me.
Pinkie Pie [as Rocky]: You heard the lady! She ain't goin' nowheres, chump!
Rainbow Dash: Who you calling a chump, chump?! Ugh... That's it. Party's over. Come on, Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: No!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, let's go!
Pinkie Pie: I said no!
Rainbow Dash: You... [grunts] have to... come with... me!
Pinkie Pie: No... I... don't!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, you wanna do this the hard way?! We'll do this the hard way!
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] [panting] We're... here...
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy: [in unison] Surprise!
Fluttershy: I really thought she'd be more excited.
Pinkie Pie: Excited? Excited?! Why would I be excited to attend my own farewell party?!
Twilight Sparkle: Farewell party?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! You don't like me anymore, so you decided to kick me out of the group and throw a great, big party to celebrate! A "Farewell to Pinkie Pie" party!
Applejack: Why in the world would you think we didn't like you anymore, sugarcube?
Pinkie Pie: Why? Why? Why?! Because you've been lying to me and avoiding me all day, that's why!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, yeah! Because we wanted your party to be a surprise.
Rarity: We'd been planning this party for such a long time, we had to make excuses for why we couldn't attend Gummy's party so that we could get everything ready for yours.
Twilight Sparkle: If this is a farewell party, why does the cake I picked up from Sugarcube Corner say "Happy Birthday, Pinkie Pie"?
Pinkie Pie: [squeak] Because it's my birthday! Ooh, how could I have forgotten my own birthday?
Rest of main cast: [relieved sigh]
Pinkie Pie: And you like me so much you decided to throw me a surprise party!
Rarity: That's what we've been trying to tell you, darling.
Pinkie Pie: You girls are the best friends ever! How could I have ever doubted you?
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Pinkie Pie. It could have happened to any of us.
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh! It sure would.
Fluttershy: Don't worry about it.
Rainbow Dash: I'm just glad I haven't been replaced by a bucket of turnips.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: You don't wanna know.
Applejack: All right, girls! Enough of this gab. Let's party!
[music]
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
I am writing to you from the most delightful party. I'm not only having a great time with my friends, but also was given the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson about friendship. Always expect the best from your friends, and never assume the worst. Rest assured that a good friend always has your best interests at heart.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Pinkie Pie: You girls wouldn't mind if we celebrated Gummy's after-birthday party too, would you? His party was cut short, and he's pretty upset about it.
Fluttershy: Oh, definitely.
Rarity: Aww, he was upset?
Applejack: Uh-huh, sure!
Rainbow Dash: For Gummy, yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, why not? Let's have a party for Gummy. [giggles]
[music]
[credits]

The Best Night Ever

Pinkie Pie: Ahh! I... can't... believe... the Grand... Galloping... Gala... is... tonight!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! Please stop shouting, I'm trying to concentrate.
Rarity: Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now. It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty.
Pinkie Pie: What's Twilight doing?
Spike: She's got an awesome magic spell she's been working on for the Gala.
Rarity: Where are the others? It's getting late.
Applejack: Hold your horses, girl. We're here.
Twilight Sparkle: Perfect! I'm ready.
Rainbow Dash: For what?
Twilight Sparkle: All right, Spike.
Pinkie Pie: An apple! Are we having pie?
Spike: Shh! Watch!
[collective: Awesome! Wow! Lovely!]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks. But that's just the start. Fluttershy, did you bring your friends?
Fluttershy: Yes. Will they be safe, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: You have my word.
Twilight Sparkle: Ta-da!
[collective: Oh. Uh. Ah. That's a choice. Interesting.]
Twilight Sparkle: Neat, huh? And don't worry. They'll be mice again at midnight.
Fluttershy: Opalescence, no!
["mouse-horses" neighing]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Come back! Those horses were supposed to pull our carriage. How will we get to the Gala?
Rarity: Whatever shall we do?
Rarity: Uh... ahem. Excuse me. Uh, would you boys mind pulling our carriage to the Gala?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Yeah. Right.
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh!
Spike: Come on, you guys. Let me in!
Rainbow Dash: Sure thing, Spike.
Rarity: Heavens no! We're getting dressed.
Applejack: Dressed? Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but, uh... we don't normally wear clothes.
Rarity: [moan] I'm sorry, Spike. Some of us do have standards.
Spike: I still can't believe we're gonna be at Canterlot tonight. Our hometown, Twilight! And the best part is that we all get to hang out together all night long!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... I-I don't know, Spike.
Rarity: We'll just have to see.
Applejack: We're gonna be a mite busy.
Pinkie Pie: Busy having fun! [boing]
Spike: Oh. Okay.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Spike. We'll all get to spend some time together.
Spike: Great!
Spike: 'Cause I planned out my insider's tour of Canterlot. I've gotta show Rarity the crown jewels, and Applejack the Princess's golden apple tree. And Pinkie, we gotta go to my favorite donut shop.
[excited chatter inside carriage]
Spike: Then let's get moving! Hyah!
Caramel: Excuse me!?
Spike: Um... I...
Lucky Clover: If you weren't friends with our neighbor Rarity... Hmph.
Spike: Whoa! You all look... amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this... The Best Night Ever!
[Twilight Sparkle]
At the Gala
[Choir]
At the Gala
[Fluttershy]
At the Gala
In the garden
I'm going to see them all
All the creatures
I'll befriend them at the Gala
[Choir]
At the Gala
[Fluttershy]
All the birdies
And the critters
They will love me big and small
We'll become good friends forever
Right here at the Gala!
[Choir]
All our dreams will come true
Right here at the Gala
At the Gala
[Applejack]
At the Gala (It's amazing)
I will sell them (Better hurry)
All my appletastic treats (Yummy yummy)
Hungry ponies (They'll be snacking)
They will buy them (Bring your money)
Caramel apples, apple sweets (Gimme some)
And I'll earn a lot of money
for the Apple family!
[Choir]
All our dreams and our hopes from now until hereafter
All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala
At the Gala
[Rarity]
At the Gala
All the royals
They will meet fair Rarity
They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala
[Choir]
At the Gala
[Rarity]
I will find him
My Prince Charming
And how gallant he will be
He will treat me like a lady
Tonight at the Gala!
[Choir]
This is what we've waited for to have the best night ever
Each of us will live our dreams
Tonight at the Gala
At the Gala
[Rainbow Dash]
Been dreamin'
I've been waitin'
To fly with those great ponies
The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks
Spinning 'round and having kicks
Perform for crowds of thousands
They'll shower us with diamonds
The Wonderbolts will see me right here at the Gala!
[Choir]
All we've longed for
All we've dreamed
Our happy ever after
Finally will all come true
Right here at the Grand Gala
At the Gala
[Pinkie Pie]
I am here at the Grand Gala
For it is the best party
But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie
For I am the best at parties, all the ponies will agree
Ponies playing
Ponies dancing
With me at the Grand Gala!
[Choir]
Happiness and laughter at the Gala
At the Gala
[Twilight Sparkle]
At the Gala (At the Gala)
With the Princess (With the Princess)
Is where I'm going to be (She will be)
We will talk all about magic and what I've learned and seen (She will see)
It is going to be so special
As she takes time just for me (This will be the best night ever!)
[Choir]
Into the Gala we must go
We're ready now, we're all aglow
Into the Gala, let's go in and have the best night ever
Into the Gala, now's the time
We're ready and we look divine!
[Choir and Fluttershy]
Into the Gala
[Fluttershy]
Meet new friends
[Choir and Applejack]
Into the Gala
[Applejack]
Sell some apples
[Choir and Rarity]
Into the Gala
[Rarity]
Find my Prince
[Choir and Rainbow Dash]
Prove I'm great
[Rainbow Dash]
As a Wonderbolt is
Fluttershy: To meet!
Applejack: To sell!
Rarity: To find!
Rainbow Dash: To prove!
Pinkie Pie: To whoop!
Twilight Sparkle: To talk!
[All]
Into the Gala
Into the Gala
And we'll have the best night ever!
At the Gala!
Spike: Yeah! This is gonna be the best night ever. You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna spend time at the Gala to... gether. Or not.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia!
Princess Celestia: Twilight! It is so lovely to see my star student.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm so excited to be here! We have so much to catch up on.
Princess Celestia: Well, I want you right by my side the entire evening, so we'll have plenty of time together.
Twilight Sparkle: That's just what I was hoping you'd say.
Rarity: [gasp] [squeals of excitement] Hurry, Rarity... Oh, but not too fast. But don't wanna lose him... Wait! Have to play it cool. Oh, but don't be cold! I can't lose him, I can't! He's everything I imagined! Even better than I imagined.
[bird chirping]
Fluttershy: Oh my! A meadowlark!
[whistling]
Fluttershy: I think she's calling to me. It's exactly what I wished for! [humming]
[whistling]
Applejack: Howdy, partner! You hungry?
Soarin: As a horse!
Applejack: Well, what'cha hankering for? Caramel apple? Apple pie? Apple fritter? Apple fries?
Soarin: I'll take that big apple pie!
Applejack: Well, thank you kindly, sir! Yee-haw! In the first minute, I made my first sale. Just like I expected.
Spitfire: Always hungry after a show. Eh, Soarin?
Soarin: Heh. Yeah! [gasp] My pie! You saved it. Thanks.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, no prob.
Spitfire: Hey! I know you. You're the pony that saved us in Cloudsdale and won The Best Flyer Competition.
Rainbow Dash: Hay yeah! Name's Rainbow Dash.
Spitfire: Well, Rainbow Dash. Looks like your skills saved us again. Oh, well, at least they saved Soarin's apple pie.
Soarin: [eating noisily] Yeah...
Spitfire: Wanna come hang out with us?
Rainbow Dash: Sure. Why not? I'm... hanging... with the... Wonderbolts! [squee, giggle]
Pinkie Pie: The shiny dance floor... The pretty party ponies... Ooh, the fancy band... Shiny! Pretty! Fancy! [anxious noise] Gotta dance!
[Pinkie Pie]
I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala,
I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala,
I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala,
It's all I ever dreamed.
It's all I ever dreamed, woo hoo!
It's all I ever dreamed, yippee!
I'm at the Grand Galloping GalaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA!
[pause]
It's all I've ever... dreamed?
Prince Blueblood: Well, hello. I am Prince Blueblood.
Rarity: I am... Rarity. Oh my, what a lovely rose.
Prince Blueblood: You mean... this rose? Thank you. It goes with my eyes.
Rarity: [moan]
Fluttershy: [humming]
[whistling]
Fluttershy: [gasp] My little meadowlark is right around this bend!
Mr. Greenhooves: [whistling]
Fluttershy: Was that you?
Mr. Greenhooves: Yep! I love whistlin' while I work. [whistles]
Fluttershy: Oh! Yes... Well... Excuse me.
[animal noises]
Fluttershy: Oh! I see a toco toucan! And a spider monkey! And, oh! Is that a wallaroo? Oh, Fluttershy. You're such a loudmouth.
[ponies chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Spitfire! You ever done a rain cloud double backflip? [to Soarin] You ever soared past lightning? It's awesome!
Princess Celestia: Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess! I've been so excited to spend time with you and...
Princess Celestia: Yes. Me too, Twi... Oh, good evening! Welcome to the Gala. Which is why I... Ladies! Lovely to see you again.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Looks like getting a chance to talk to the Princess is gonna be a magic trick in itself.
Applejack: First minute, first sale. Second... Fourth... Sixth... Sixtieth minute... no sales. [sigh] This ain't what I expected at all.
Pinkie Pie: I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala... and it's not what I dreamed.
Rarity: This isn't at all what I imagined.
Princess Celestia: [in background] Good evening! So nice to see you. Welcome!
Twilight Sparkle: This isn't what I hoped.
Rainbow Dash: This isn't hanging out.
Fluttershy: This isn't what I wished for.
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Rarity: I waited all my life...
Fluttershy: ...for this moment!
Pinkie Pie: And I'm not going to...
Applejack: ...let it slip by!
Rainbow Dash: If it's the last thing I do...
Twilight Sparkle: ...I'm gonna make this...
All: ...the best night ever!
Fluttershy: I just have to be more bold, like Twilight says. [loudly] I'm so sorry to have scared you, my friends! But I'm leaving now, so you can all come out!
[sound of crunching]
Fluttershy: Gotcha! It's okay. I promise not to hurt you. I just wanna be your... friend?
Mr. Greenhooves: Mmm... Sounds good to me.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Rainbow! If they don't notice you, you gotta make 'em notice you. [whistles]
Count Caesar: [yells] [grunts]
Rarity: Just give him a chance, Rarity. His princely side is sure to come out if you're just patient.
Prince Blueblood: Miss Rarity! Stop!
Rarity: Oh. Prince Blueblood! How chivalrous.
Prince Blueblood: One would hate to slip.
Rarity: Yes. One certainly would.
Prince Blueblood: One's cloak should take care of the problem.
Rarity: Oh, of course it will.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] [whispering] C'mon, everypony! I know what will make you shake those groove-thangs!
[Pinkie Pie]
You reach your right hoof in
You reach your right hoof out
You reach your right hoof in
And you shake it all about
You do the Pony Pokey meeting lots of folks with clout
That's what I'm talking about
You step your left hoof in
You pull it right back out
You step your left hoof in
But you better help him out
You do the Pony Pokey but should find a different route
That's what it's all about
You kick your back left in
You pull your back left out
You reach your back left in
Just be brave and have no doubt
You do the Pony Pokey feeling like you're gonna pout
That's what I'm singing about
You tilt your head in
You tilt your head out
You tilt your head in
Then you shake it all about
You do the Pony Pokey even though your date's a lout
You're better off without
You stomp your whole self in
You stomp your whole self out
You stomp your whole self in
And you stomp yourself about
You do the Pony Pokey and you give a little shout-
Fluttershy: COME OUT!
[Pinkie Pie]
That's what I'm talking about
You do the Pony Pokey
You do the Pony Pokey
You do the Pony Pokey
And that's what it's all about
Yeah!
Lyrica Lilac: Young lady, this is not that kind of party.
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhhhh... They don't want a party. These ponies want a paaartay!
Rarity: Two apple fritters, please.
Applejack: Two apple fritters comin' right up. That'll be four bits.
Rarity: Ahem.
Prince Blueblood: Ahem.
Rarity: Ahem!
Prince Blueblood: Ahem!
Rarity: [sigh] I'm going to have to pay, aren't I?
Applejack: It's okay, Rarity. I got you covered.
Rarity: Thank you, Applejack. At least somepony here has good manners.
Prince Blueblood: [barf] Oh! Fritters! Dumplings! Caramel apples! My royal lips have touched common carnival fare! I'm going to the buffet for some... hors d'oeuvres.
Applejack: Well, no wonder nopony wants my food. They're fillin' up on those fancy-schmancy vittles. Well, my down-home apples are plenty good enough for this crowd. I'll just dress 'em up a bit and prove it to 'em.
Fluttershy: I'll catch you yet, my pretties. Oh yes. As soon as one of you little birds or monkeys or bears touches this net... you'll be mine! Mine! [evil laugh] Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Come on, everypony! You wanted a partay? Now it's paaartaaay! Yeah! Uh! Now that's a beat, yeah! Uh! C'mon, dance! Yeah, woohoo!
Applejack: Okay, all you high-class ponies. Here's a highfalutin apple cake for your hoity-toity taste buds.
Pinkie Pie: Stage dive!
Rarity and Prince Blueblood: [scream]
Rarity: [angry growl] You, sir, are the most uncharming prince I have ever met! In fact, the only thing royal about you is that you are a royal pain!
Prince Blueblood: Ewww...! Uh, stay back! I just had myself groomed!
Rarity: Afraid to get dirty?! [babbles]
Prince Blueblood: [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: This is my chance! Yes! Whoa!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Well... it can't get any worse.
[rumbling]
[door opens]
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: You're... going to love me!
[ponies screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, um, uh... Eugh.
Princess Celestia: Run.
Twilight Sparkle: [whistles]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper! Now your prince is sure to find you.
Rarity: [shriek] No! Ugh! Let's go!
Spike: Hey, Pony Joe. Another donut.
Joe: Don't you think you've had enough?
Spike: Another donut! Extra sprinkles!
[bell rings]
Joe: Twilight Sparkle! Ha, ha. Long time no see.
Spike: Hey, how was the Gala? How was your best night ever?
Spike: That sounds like the worst night ever!
Everypony: It was! [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for ruining the Gala.
Princess Celestia: That was the best Grand Galloping Gala ever!
Everypony: Princess Celestia!
Twilight Sparkle: Pardon me, Princess, but tonight was just awful.
Princess Celestia: Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is always awful.
Twilight Sparkle: It is?
Princess Celestia: That is why I was thrilled you were all attending. I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. And while the evening may not have gone as you planned, I'm sure you'll agree that in the end it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Princess. Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Hanging out with friends!
Fluttershy: Talking!
Pinkie Pie: Laughing!
Spike: You mean doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Spike. You were right.
Applejack: As horrible as our night was...
Rarity: ...being together here has made it all better.
Pinkie Pie: In fact, it's made it...
All sans Celestia: ...the best night ever!
All: [laughter]
[music]
[credits]

The Return of Harmony Part 1

Cheerilee: I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot sculpture garden. That one over there represents "Friendship". Alright, my little ponies. This one represents "Victory".
Scootaloo: How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?
Apple Bloom: Cool, if you were actually victoryful at somethin'.
Sweetie Belle: That's not a word!
Scootaloo: What are you, a dictionary?
Cheerilee: Girls! Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?
Apple Bloom: It's got an eagle claw!
Scootaloo: And a lion paw!
Sweetie Belle: And a snake tail!
Cheerilee: This creature is called a draconequus. He has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?
Apple Bloom: Confusion!
Sweetie Belle: Evil!
Scootaloo: Chaos!
Sweetie Belle: It's not chaos, you dodo!
Scootaloo: Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of! And it is too chaos!
Sweetie Belle: Is not!
Apple Bloom: You're both wrong!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [grunting]
[pulsating]
Cheerilee: Actually, in a way, you're all right. This statue represents "Discord", which means a lack of harmony between ponies. In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it.
Group: [laughter]
Cheerilee: Now let's go, and I don't want anymore fighting.
Apple Bloom: It's confusion!
Sweetie Belle: Evil!
Scootaloo: Chaos!
[stone cracking]
Discord: [laughter]
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: Come back here, you! Gotcha! Eww, what is this? Cotton candy?
[thunder rumbles]
[drip]
Rainbow Dash: Wait a second! It's not supposed to rain until tomorrow. You can't just–
[rain falling]
Rainbow Dash: You did.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I didn't tell you to go anywhere!
Applejack: Rainbow Dash, what's goin' on with this rain? I mean chocolate milk? I mean chocolate milk rain?!
Rainbow Dash: There's crazy weather all over Equestria! Cloudsdale is getting soaked by a major cola storm right now! But don't worry. I'm not leaving you until I get control of Ponyville!
[popping]
Pinkie Pie: Why would you wanna stop this? [slurp]
Rarity: Ahem. I heard about your troubles, Applejack, and I came to see if there's anything I can do without getting wet. Or dirty. Or out from under my umbrella.
[wood creaking]
Applejack: Fluttershy! Do somethin'!
Fluttershy: Now, Angel, you really shouldn't– No! It's not possible! I must be seeing things!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, everyone. I've learned a new spell that'll fix everything. My fail-safe spell... failed. What do we do?
Spike: Uh, give up?
Rarity: Spike, Twilight will come up with something.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm, time for plan B. Rainbow, can you corral all those clouds in one corner of the sky? Applejack, I need you to bring those high-strung storm clouds down to Earth.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, what happened?
Twilight Sparkle: [whispers]
Fluttershy: Oh dear. I hope none of the animals see these delicious chocolate-filled cotton candy clouds. I'd hate to have to share them.
Pinkie Pie: You and me both, sister! Hey!
Applejack: And when y'all are done with that, feel free to have some popcorn for dessert.
Twilight Sparkle: You see, Spike? You should never give up. There's nothing we can't overcome if we all work together.
Spike: [burp]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Come on, girls. Princess Celestia wants to see us all in Canterlot immediately!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!
Princess Celestia: Thank you, Twilight. Thank you, all.
Twilight Sparkle: Is this about the weather? And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there–
Princess Celestia: Follow me.
Princess Celestia: I've called you here for a matter of great importance. It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name... is Discord.
Fluttershy: [squeal]
Princess Celestia: Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness. Luna and I saw how miserable life was for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns alike, so after discovering the Elements of Harmony, we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone.
Rainbow Dash: Alright, Princess!
Princess Celestia: I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken.
Twilight Sparkle: No longer connected?
Princess Celestia: This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept inside since all of you recovered them. I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos.
Twilight Sparkle: But why us? Why don't you–
Pinkie Pie: Hey, look! We're famous!
Princess Celestia: You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe. Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, you can count on–
Pinkie Pie: Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't listen to her, Princess. We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again.
Rarity: Ooh. You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!
Princess Celestia: Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord with these!
All: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw.
Twilight Sparkle: The Elements! They're gone!
Princess Celestia: That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn't make sense!
Discord: [laughter] Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?
Princess Celestia: Discord... Show yourself!
Discord: [chuckling] Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone.
Princess Celestia: Enough! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?
Discord: Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while. [snap]
Princess Celestia: You'll never get away with this, Discord!
Discord: Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia. It's really quite boring.
Rainbow Dash: Hey! Nopony insults the Princess!
[smack]
Discord: Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent.
Rainbow Dash: That's right! I'll always be loyal to the Princess!
Discord: We'll see about that.
Rarity: I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window.
Discord: The beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?
Applejack: So you know who we are, big deal.
Discord: Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack.
Twilight Sparkle: You seem to know our strengths too.
Discord: Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic. Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine - laughter. [laughter]
Pinkie Pie: [snickering]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] He's standing on your head!
Princess Celestia: Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?
Discord: Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really? Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way. To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began. [laughing]
Fluttershy: Can we go home now?
Applejack: What do you reckon he meant? Twists and turns and endin' back where we started?
Twilight Sparkle: Twists and turns... twists and turns... twists and turns! That's it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!
Princess Celestia: Good luck, my little ponies. The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Princess. We won't let you down.
Discord: [laughing]
All: [gasp]
Fluttershy: W-We have to go in there?
Rainbow Dash: Nope! Dopey Discord forgot about these babies! I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time. My wings!
Fluttershy: [scream]
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: Your horn! My horn! Ahhh!
Discord: [laughing] You–You should see the looks on your faces. Priceless! [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Give us our wings and horns back!
Discord: You'll get them back in good time. I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic.
Rainbow Dash: The first rule?
Discord: The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over, and I win. Good luck, everypony! [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Never fear, girls. We have each other!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, girls, let's do this!
All: Together! [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Stay calm, girls! Everypony head to the middle as fast as you can, and we'll regroup there!
Rainbow Dash: Moving out!
Rarity: See you in the center.
Applejack: Yee-haw!
Pinkie Pie: See you guys there!
Fluttershy: [gasping] What's that? Who's there? Girls!
Applejack: What in tarnation? Where am I?
Apples: [laughing]
Applejack: Who are y'all?
Red apples: The keepers of the grove of truth. You may ask us...
Light-red apples: ...one question...
Green apples: ...past, future or present.
Red apples: But be warned...
Light-red apples: ...that the truth...
Green apples: ...may not always be pleasant.
Applejack: Alright then. I don't trust this place worth a hill of beans, but I've got a really bad feelin' about this feller Discord. What's gonna come of this mission we're on?
Red apples: For the answer you seek...
Light-red apples: ...go ahead, take a peek.
Pond Rainbow Dash: I hope I never see you again!
Pond Fluttershy: Me too!
Pond Pinkie Pie: Fine!
Pond Rarity: Fine!
Pond Twilight Sparkle: It's settled then.
Applejack: No! Our friendship? Over?!
Discord: [chuckling]
Applejack: It can't be true. It just can't!
Applejack: That just can't be the truth.
Light-red apples: When all the truth does...
Green apples: ...is make your heart ache...
Green apples and Discord: ...sometimes a lie is easier to take. [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! Thank goodness! I thought I heard voices over here. Who were you talking to?
Applejack: I was talkin' to... uh... nopony! Nopony whatsoever!
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Applejack: Nothing. Come on, uh, we best be going.
Twilight Sparkle: Did Applejack just...? Come on, Twilight! Applejack wouldn't lie.
Pinkie Pie: [whistling]
Balloons: [sing-song laughter]
Pinkie Pie: [chuckling] Whee! This is the greatest balloon garden I've ever seen! It's the first balloon garden I've ever seen, but still! Wah! [splash]
Balloons: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, what gives?
Discord: What's the matter, Pinkie Pie? I thought you appreciated a good laugh?
Pinkie Pie: It's different. They're laughing at me.
Discord: It's hardly different. Your friends laugh at you all the time.
Pinkie Pie: My friends laugh with me, not at me.
Discord: Oh, really? [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: No! Stop it!
Balloons: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Stop laughing at me!
Discord: Oh, poor Pinkie Pie. And here I thought laughter made you happy.
Pinkie Pie: [gravelly] Happy? I don't think so.
[balloons popping]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie! Are we glad to see you!
Pinkie Pie: Oh you are, huh? Why? Need a good laugh?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? What do you suppose has her so upset? It's not like her.
Applejack: I didn't notice anythin' strange about Pinkie.
Twilight Sparkle: Weird. Better pick up the pace before the stress of this gets the better of all of us.
Rarity: I was expecting an audience with the Princess, not outdoor sport. Agh. Oh my...
Discord: [laughing] Welcome to your lucky day, Rarity. You've found the one thing in Equestria that could rival my face for sheer beauty. What do you think? You like?
Rarity: Yes... I like very much... No! No, I shan't succumb to such fabulousness. Must... get to the center... to meet... the others. [grunt] Mine!
Rarity: Well, Rarity. It took forever, but it was worth it. Who knew three little gemstones would turn out to be this handsome hunk of a diamond? Now to get you home. [grunts]
[wall crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity! Are we glad to see... Why are you carrying a humongous boulder?
Rarity: What do you mean, "boulder"? This big beautiful bedazzling rock is a diamond! And it's all mine. Keep your envious little eyes off it! I found it and it's mine fair and square! [grunting]
Fluttershy: [teeth chatter] Okay, I can do this. I can... [scream] Oh, wait a minute... Butterflies? Wait! Don't leave me here!
Butterflies: Fluttershy, looks like you've been left behind by your so-called friends, huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, no. I'm certain they're doing their best to find me.
Butterflies: Well, it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are.
Fluttershy: Not at all. I am weak and helpless and I appreciate their understanding.
Butterflies: Yes... Well, surely it burns you up... I mean, that they're always pointing out your flaws, right?
Fluttershy: Not really. In fact, I think I'm awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be.
Discord: Oh, for goodness sake! You've been kind for far too long, my dear. Time to be cruel. Arrivederci!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! I'm so glad to see a friendly face. This awful labyrinth is getting to everypony.
Applejack: Grrr...
Pinkie Pie: [blows raspberry]
Fluttershy: Aw, boo-hoo-hoo! Why don't you wave your magic little horn and make everything all right?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Fluttershy: Oh, that's right, you can't. You don't have one.
Twilight Sparkle: What is happening to my friends?
Applejack: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: And what are you laughing at?
Applejack: Chocolate milk.
Rarity: Little help here! Thanks, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: You're welcome–
Rarity: But don't get any ideas about my gem! I know where you live.
[thunder crash]
Rainbow Dash: I've got you now, element.
Discord: Oh. I can see why you like these clouds so much. Very plush.
Rainbow Dash: Get off there and put 'em up! Come on! Let's go!
Discord: Hey, I'm here to deliver a message.
Rainbow Dash: I've got a message for you too!
Discord: Listen closely, this is important. A weighty choice is yours to make: the right selection or a big mistake. If a wrong choice you choose to pursue, the foundations of home will crumble without you.
[thunder] [spinning]
Rainbow Dash: Cloudsdale? Crumble... without me? No!
Discord: That box contains your wings. You can take them and leave the game, or you can carry on aimlessly wandering this maze. Your choice.
Twilight Sparkle: Must... find... Rainbow Dash. As a team... we're unstoppable. Rainbow Dash won't let us down.
Applejack: Well, looky there. Rainbow Dash is flying away. She's abandonin' us.
Twilight Sparkle: Now I know that's a lie. [gasp] How can it be?
[thunder, cracking]
Discord: Well, well, well. Somepony broke the "no wings; no magic" rule. [snap] Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious elements. [mewl] Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos. [laughter]
[To be continued...]
[music]
[credits]

The Return of Harmony Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could.
Princess Celestia: I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord.
Twilight Sparkle: The Elements! They're gone!
Discord: [laughter] Everypony has to play, or the game is over and I win.
Applejack: Our friendship...over?
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you talking to?
Applejack: Nopony! Nopony whatsoever.
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie! Are we glad to see you!
Pinkie Pie: Why? Need a good laugh?
Twilight Sparkle: What is happening to my friends?
Discord: Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos. [laughter]
[theme song]
Discord: [laughter]
Pinkie Pie: And what are you laughing at!?
Discord: Oh, you ponies are just the most fun I've had in aeons.
Pinkie Pie: Well, quit it! You'd better think before you laugh at the Pink...ie Pie!
Fluttershy: Oh, yeah? Well ha, ha.
Pinkie Pie: Quit it!
Fluttershy: No. Ha, ha.
Pinkie Pie: Quit it!
Fluttershy: No. Ha ha-ha ha ha.
Applejack: Uh... Rarity? This here diamond of yours? Twilight said we should split it six ways since we, uh, found it together.
Rarity: HI-YAH! Try it, punk. He's mine. All mine! Ya! Ya! Ya!
Twilight Sparkle: Girls, why are you all acting like this?
Pinkie Pie: Quit it! Stop it!
Twilight Sparkle: We need to stick together.
Fluttershy: Ha, ha.
Discord: [laughter] It's just too entertaining.
Twilight Sparkle: Stop it, Discord. You're not playing fair.
Discord: I'm not playing fair? Perhaps we haven't met. I'm Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. Hello?
Twilight Sparkle: How are we supposed to find the Elements of Harmony when you took away the labyrinth before we could get to the end?
Discord: Oh, wait, did you...? [laughter] How funny! You thought the Elements were in the labyrinth?
Flashback Discord: Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.
Discord: I never said they were in the labyrinth.
Twilight Sparkle: But...but...
Discord: Keep trying, Twilight Sparkle. [mockingly] Maybe the magic of friendship can help you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some chaos to wreak.
[thunder]
[falling rain]
Pinkie Pie: Chocolate milk? I hate chocolate milk!
Twilight Sparkle: [grunt] Think, Twilight, think! "Find the Elements back where you began." Back where you began.
Rarity: Don't touch my gem!
Fluttershy: I'm touching your gem, Rarity. Ha, ha.
Pinkie Pie: What 'chu laughin' at?
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. I just want to go home... Wait a minute... Home! "Back where you began!" The Elements must be in... Ponyville! Come on, girls. I'm certain this is what Discord's riddle really meant. If we get back to the library, I have a book that I just know can give us a clue. Ah!
Fluttershy: Good boy, Angel. Mama's so proud.
Applejack: Wow, I can see so much better now. Whoa! I meant to do that.
Twilight Sparkle: Wah! Ahh! Whoa! Discord's turned our dirt roads into soap!
Discord: Beautiful, isn't it? This is the new and improved Ponyville, and these are only my first of changes.
Pinkie Pie: This may look like fun, but it's not.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh.
Discord: Picture it. The chaos capital of the world.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't picture anything. It's too dark. [splash]
Discord: Well, wait a few minutes and you'll see it in the beautiful light of day. Or not.
Twilight Sparkle: Ponyville, the chaos capital of the world? Not if I have anything to say about it.
Fluttershy: Don't worry, you won't. [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Okay, we're here. Everyone please, please, please just go inside, please?
Applejack: I absolutely refuse.
Fluttershy: With pleasure.
Pinkie Pie: I hate libraries!
Twilight Sparkle: [moan]
Rarity: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Pleeeease, we gotta hurry!
Rarity: Forget it, Twilight. I know what you're up to. The second I go in, you'll have your little minion Spike come and take Tom!
Twilight Sparkle: Tom?
Rarity: Well, it's not going to work.
Twilight Sparkle: You're not going in without him, are you?
Rarity: Mm-mm.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting] Fine!
Spike: [snore]
[splash]
Spike: Ah! Brrr! What did you do that for, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: 'Cause you just looked so peaceful.
Spike: I...uh...huh?
[crash]
Rarity: Careful, Twilight! You'll ruin his beautiful finish.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, for the love of...
Spike: Twilight, what's going on? Why does everybody look so...gray?
Twilight Sparkle: Don't ask. I need you to help me find something.
Fluttershy: Hey, Twilight, what's soaking wet and clueless?
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I've had just about enough– [splash]
Fluttershy: Your face! [bang]
Spike: What's happened to everypony?
Applejack: I guess you just bring out the worst in us, Spike.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. No time to explain. We've got to find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony before somepony does something she'll regret!
Spike: The Elements of Harmony? Oh, I know exactly where that book is. Found it!
Fluttershy: Hah!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, you'd better give me that book!
Fluttershy: [sing-song voice] Keep away!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! Applejack, give me that book!
Applejack: I don't have any book.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! You guys! Stop it right now!
Spike: Ugh!
Rarity: Mine!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, do you even know what you just stole?
Rarity: No, but if you want it, I want it!
Twilight Sparkle: [strained groan] GIVE ME THAT BOOK!
[smack]
Twilight Sparkle: Where is she? Where's Rarity?
Applejack: Beats me.
Twilight Sparkle: Lies!
[cat yowl, fighting noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Get back! All of you! This is my book, and I'm going to READ IT! [gasp] The Elements!
Twilight Sparkle: The Elements! They were here all along!
Spike: This is great! Now you guys can defeat Discord and put everything back to normal!
Twilight Sparkle: See, girls? We did it! We found the Elements of Harmony! Together!
Applejack: [yawn]
Twilight Sparkle: You don't even care, do you?
All: No!
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] I never thought it would happen. My friends... have turned into complete JERKS! Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! And... big crown thingy! Come on, everypony, let's go!
Spike: But Twilight, aren't you missing somepony?
Twilight Sparkle: Nope. We've got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, and the brute. That just about covers it.
Spike: But what about Rainbow Dash?
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!
Spike: [gasp] Me? B-b-but what if she finds out I've been impersonating her? [moan] That won't end well.
Twilight Sparkle: Too bad, you're Rainbow Dash. Now let's go defeat Discord so we don't ever have to talk to each other again!
All but Rarity: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
Rarity: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Move! Look out, here comes Tom!
[crash]
Discord: Well, well, well, I see you've found the Elements of Harmony. How terrifying!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! I've figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!
Discord: I certainly am. You've clearly out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate. I'm prepared to be defeated now, ladies. Fire when ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Formation, now!
All: Eh.
Twilight Sparkle: "Rainbow Dash", get over here.
Spike: [gulp]
Twilight Sparkle: All right, let's get this over with. What's going on?
Applejack: Mine's workin'. There must be somethin' wrong with yours.
Pinkie Pie: I HATE the Elements of Harmony!
Fluttershy: Hmph! Garbage.
Rarity: MINE!
Spike: Sorry, Twilight. I guess I'd better get back upstairs and clean up the library. Good luck with all this– whoa!
Fluttershy: [mockingly] Oops, sorry, Rainbow Crash. [chuckle]
Discord: Bravo, ponies, bravo! [clapping, random noises] Harmony in Equestria is officially dead. Discord rules, Celestia drools. [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: [growl]
Pinkie Pie: It's your fault it didn't work.
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you talking to?
Pinkie Pie: Any of you! ALL OF YOU! I'm outta here!
Applejack: I better go, too. I've got new better friends waiting for me at the farm.
Fluttershy: Yeah! I'm sick of you losers.
Twilight Sparkle: FINE! Leave! See if I care! I don't need you guys either! With friends like you, who needs...enemies...?
[tear splashes]
[distorted music]
Discord: [laughing] Oh, my stomach! Twilight, you've got to see what I just did.
Berryshine: [sneeze]
Discord: It's priceless! [laughing] Come now, Twilight Sparkle. You've got to get into the spirit of things! After all, this is your new home.
Twilight Sparkle: Not anymore...
Discord: YES! [triumphant laughter]
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Pack your things, Spike, we're leaving.
Spike: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't ask where we're going, 'cause I don't know yet. Just not here.
Spike: Can't...move. The princess...has been sending these...since I came back upstairs. [belch] Make it stop!
Twilight Sparkle: These are all the letters I've written to the princess since I've lived in Ponyville. But why would she send them back?
Spike: [groan] [belch]
Twilight Sparkle: "Real friends don't care what your cover is."
"Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing."
"And like the path cut through the orchard, there will always be a way through."
"The best thing to do is stay true to yourself."
"Everypony has a special magical connection with her friends. Maybe even before she's met them."
Spike! Spike, it's all so clear! Can't you see? Discord's trying to distract us from what's important. He knows how powerful our friendships are, and he's trying to keep us from seeing it. Do you remember what I said the first day we arrived in Ponyville? I told you that the future of Equestria didn't rest on me making friends. But the opposite is true! The friendships I've made since I've been here are what saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon. And now they need to save it from Discord!
Spike: [moaning]
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Spike. I've got to fight for my friendships. For them. For me. For Equestria!
Spike: [moaning]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh...uh...why don't you just stay here and rest? I'll take care of the whole fighting for friendship thing myself.
Spike: [moaning] [belch]
Applejack: And so I tried to defeat Discord, but none of my so-called "friends" would lift a hoof to help me.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, I'm here to fight for our friendship.
Applejack: Oh, now you want to fight. Where you went when I was battlin' Discord?
Twilight Sparkle: Snap out of it. This isn't you! You're not a liar.
Applejack: Wh-what happened? Twilight! [sigh] I saw a vision of us feudin' and fightin'. I couldn't face the truth, so I started tellin' lies. Can you ever forgive me?
Twilight Sparkle: I already have. Come on!
Fluttershy: Oh no! Twilight, Applejack, I just had the worst dream!
Rarity: What do you think you're doing? Get away from my gem! Get away--! [grunting] Let us never speak of this again.
Pinkie Pie: [laughter] And I-I turned gray! [giggle] Can you believe it?!
Fluttershy: Uh? She's not here.
Twilight Sparkle: Without Rainbow Dash, we can't use the Elements.
Applejack: She could be anywhere by now! We're never gonna find her.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, we will, 'cause she's right there!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, guys!
Twilight Sparkle: We've been looking everywhere for you!
Rainbow Dash: That's nice.
Twilight Sparkle: Discord's still on the loose! We need you to help us defeat him with your element, Loyalty!
Rainbow Dash: Pfft. Loyalty, schmoyalty! Have you guys seen Ponyville? It's a disaster! I'm staying here in Cloudsdale where everything's awesome.
Rarity: How in Equestria can she think that tiny patch of clouds is Cloudsdale?
Applejack: The same way he got you to think that cheap rock was a bona fide diamond.
Rarity: I thought we agreed never to speak of that again.
Twilight Sparkle: Time for Plan B.
Rainbow Dash: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Okay, Fluttershy, you grab Rainbow Dash and hold her down. Applejack will lower me down from this rope so I can cast the memory spell on her.
Fluttershy: Got it!
Rainbow Dash: [snoring]
Fluttershy: Um...I'm just wondering if it's okay if I hold you down against your will for a little bit?
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh...
Rainbow Dash: Nice try! Ponyville's your problem, not mine.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Fluttershy, we've got to catch her. Hyah! Applejack!
Rarity and Pinkie Pie: WHOA!
Rarity: PINKIE! You were supposed to secure the ROPE!
Pinkie Pie: Oops.
Applejack: Rarity, Pinkie, hold on! Y'all are slowing her down!
Rarity: Oh, Fluttershy, would you be a dear and FLY FASTER, please?
Fluttershy: [whimper/crying] I can't!
Twilight Sparkle: If you can't catch her, Discord wins!
Fluttershy: That big... dumb... MEANIE!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Applejack, last rope! Make it count!
Rainbow Dash: Lemme go! I don't need you guys! Leave me alone! Wh-what happened? [gasp] How's Ponyville? Where are the Elements?! Did we stop Discord?
All: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe it's a little early for a group hug.
Discord: [laughter] Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Not as wonderful as friendship.
Discord: Oh, this again?
[explosion]
Applejack: That's right. You couldn't break apart our friendship for long.
Discord: Oh, Applejack. Don't lie to me. I'm the one who made you a liar. Will you ever learn? [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord: we've learned that friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!
Discord: Ugh, gag. Fine, go ahead. Try and use your little Elements. Friend me. Just make it quick. I'm missing some excellent chaos here.
Twilight Sparkle: All right, ladies, let's show him what friendship can do!
Pinkie Pie: Wait-wait-wait! [slurp] [growl]
Discord: Huh. What's this? No. NO!!!
[rocks cracking] [crash]
[trumpet fanfare]
Princess Celestia: We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos.
Crowd: [cheering]
[music]
[credits]

Lesson Zero

Twilight Sparkle: Quill.
Spike: Check.
Twilight Sparkle: Parchment.
Spike: Check.
Twilight Sparkle: Extra ink.
Spike: Check.
Twilight Sparkle: Extra extra ink.
Spike: Check.
Twilight Sparkle: Is that everything on the checklist?
Spike: Yep.
Twilight Sparkle: Great. Now that we've completed the checklist of things we need to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I have to get done by the end of the day. Ready?
Spike: Ready!
Twilight Sparkle: Item one: create checklist of the things I have to accomplish by the end of the day.
Spike: [sighs]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: How are we doing, Spike?
Spike: Let's see... We've already dropped off your cape at the cleaners, returned the blackboard you borrowed from Cheerilee, ordered new parchment and quills from the stationery shop...
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... Seems like we just placed an order for those a few days ago.
Spike: Can't imagine why we go through so many of them.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like we're ahead of schedule. What's next?
Spike: Cupcakes!
Spike: Whoa...
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I only ordered twelve.
Mrs Cake: Oh, I know, dear, but I had an extra. So I thought I'd make it a baker's dozen.
Spike: Uhhh-no!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. It's just some of the icing from the extra cupcake is getting all over the one next to it. See?
Mrs Cake: Ohh... sure...
Twilight Sparkle: It's just that I'm planning on sharing these at a picnic later and I don't want anypony to feel like somepony else is getting more icing.
Mrs Cake: Oh, no... of course not.
Twilight Sparkle: Not to worry, I'll just move some of this one to... hmm... I think I may have scooped too much... oops! Now those two have more. Let's just try this again... Hmm, no, that won't do. Let me just... hmm... put some here, and... no, that's not right. A little more on this one, a little bit... and wait... I'll just... ooh, a little bit here, and here, and... perfect!
Mrs Cake: Hmm, oh yes... much better...
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, time to tackle the next item on our-- oops! Looks like we're going to have to add 'give a baby dragon a bath' to our list.
Spike: [slurp]
Twilight Sparkle: Very efficient! And a little bit gross.
Spike: Eh.
Spike: Looks like that's everything!
Twilight Sparkle: Almost everything.
Spike: "Triple-check checklist to make sure we didn't miss anything when we double checked the checklist!" Uh... check! Ugh... I've been holding that quill so long, I've got a claw cramp! Well, good thing we don't have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week... I don't think I could write another word!
Twilight Sparkle: We haven't sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?!
Spike: Why? Is that bad?
Twilight Sparkle: Bad? BAD? Of course it's bad! I'm supposed to send Princess Celestia a letter every week, telling her about a lesson I've learned about friendship! Not every other week, not every ten days, every... single... week!
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Ohh... Where's my calendar, where's my calendar?!
Spike: Where it.. always is?
Twilight Sparkle: When did we send the last one?
Spike: Last... Tuesday?
Twilight Sparkle: And today is...
Spike: Tuesday?
Twilight Sparkle: Argh! Nononononononono! If I don't send her a letter by sundown, I'll be... tardy!
Spike: What's that now?
Twilight Sparkle: Tar-dy, Spike! Late, I'll be late! Oh, how could I let this happen? I'm usually so organized. I've never been late with an assignment.
Spike: Oh, please! You're the most studious student ever! I'm sure the Princess will forgive you if you miss one little deadline.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm afraid to take that chance, Spike. This is the ruler of all of Equestria we're talking about. The pony who holds my fate in her hooves! What if she doesn't forgive me?
Spike: Yeah... I don't think she--
Twilight Sparkle: What if instead she starts thinking I'm not taking my studies on friendship seriously?
Spike: Why would she--
Twilight Sparkle: What if she makes me come back to Canterlot and puts me back in school and makes me prove I've been taking them seriously by giving me a test?! What if I don't pass?!
Spike: Well, why wouldn't you pass--
Twilight Sparkle: She's my teacher. Do you know what teachers do to students who don't pass? They send them back a grade! But she won't just send me back a grade. She'll send me back to... magic kindergarten.
Various fillies: [laughing]
Spike: Twilight? Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Spike: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! You're not going to be sent back to magic kindergarten.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right. I have no reason to worry. Because I'm going to solve a friend's problem and get that letter to Princess Celestia before sundown!
Spike: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: So... got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I as a good friend could help you solve?
Spike: Huh. Hmm. Huunh. Huh... I got nothin'.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] Then it looks like I'm going to have to find somepony who does.
Spike: [sigh] This won't end well.
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: You've got this, Twilight. You still have plenty of time to get that letter to Princess Celestia! Has to be somepony who needs the help of a good friend!
Rarity: [loud scream]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity!
Rarity: [more loud screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Rarity! I'm here!
Rarity: [sobbing] Why me-e-e-e-e-ee... [gasp] WHYYYY?! Why? Why-y?! And of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!
Twilight Sparkle: What's happened? Are you alright?
Rarity: [gasp] I've lost my diamond-encrusted purple ribbon! I have searched high, and I have searched low. Low and high! High and low! But I can't find it anywhere! Anywhe-e-e-e-ere! How can I possibly finish my latest creation if I can't find it?!
Twilight Sparkle: Never fear, Rarity. As your friend I'll do my best to help you fi--
Rarity: Oh, there it is. Isn't it always just the last place you look?
Twilight Sparkle: So... you just lost your ribbon?
Rarity: Mm-hm!
Twilight Sparkle: But now you've found it?
Rarity: Yuh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: And nothing else is bothering you? Nothing that I, as a good friend, could help you with?
Rarity: Hmm... there is one thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes?
Rarity: I think I left my measuring tape under the fabric over there. Could you get that for me?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Measuring tape? Sure.
Rarity: Twilight? Is there something bother-- Twilight?
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: No need to panic. Rarity is just one pony. I'm sure one of my other friends will need me.
Rainbow Dash: [assorted grunting and kiai noises]
[crashing]
Twilight Sparkle: What in the world...? Rainbow must be angry with Applejack! She must hate her guts! How wonderful! Rainbow Dash! Stop! Listen, Rainbow. I know you're upset with Applejack, but don't worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what are you talking about?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don't have to hide your feelings from me! I can tell you two must've had a terrible fight.
Twilight Sparkle: Now, why don't you tell me all about your issues with Applejack.
Rainbow Dash: I don't have any issues with Applejack.
Twilight Sparkle: You don't? Then why are you destroying her property?
Rainbow Dash: Because she asked me to. Right, Applejack?
Applejack: Yes, ma'am. I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one's gotta come down first. Hehe. Now get back to it, R.D.
Rainbow Dash: You got it, boss!
Applejack: I'd take cover if I were you.
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[explosion]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] I can't believe I wasted all that time. I should have just come here first. Fluttershy always has some fear she's trying to get over. As a good friend, I'll be able to help her.
Bear: [roars]
Fluttershy: [assorted grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: [continued assorted grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: How can this be happening? Of all the days she had to stop being such a scaredy-pony, she had to pick today?! What am I going to do?!
Fluttershy: You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder.
Bear: [growls]
Twilight Sparkle: It's fine. It'll all be fine. The day isn't over yet. But it will be over soon!
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] It'll be all over! My time in Ponyville! My advanced studies! Nono. You're a good student. You can do this. Ooh! But what if I can't? You can! You just have to keep it together. Keep. It. Together!
Spike: Are you talking to... yourself? Twilight?
Fillies: [laughing]
Spike: Snap out of it!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Spike: Are you okay?
Fillies: [laughing]
Spike: Twilight, I'm really worried. I mean this letter thing is really getting to you. Here. You've been so anxious all day that you completely forgot about the picnic. Why don't you just relax and go hang out with--
Twilight Sparkle: The picnic! I should go see my friends!
Spike: I'm glad you've come to your senses.
Rarity: Please tell me I did not forget the plates. [gasp] I did. I totally forgot them. Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! [cries] Why, why, why... Uh... What? You didn't expect me to lay on the grass, did you?
[hee haw!]
Applejack: You alright, hun?
Twilight Sparkle: No! I am not alright.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [various shock statements]
Twilight Sparkle: It's just terrible.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Yes?
Twilight Sparkle: Simply awful.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Yes?!
Twilight Sparkle: It's the most horrific trouble I've ever been in and I really really really need your help!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: YES?!
Twilight Sparkle: My letter to Princess Celestia is almost overdue, and I haven't learned anything about friendship!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [sighs of relief]
Fluttershy: Oh, thank goodness. I thought something really awful had happened.
Twilight Sparkle: [strangled noises] Something awful has happened! If I don't turn in the letter on time, I'll be tardy! TARDY!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [giggles]
Applejack: No offense, sugarcube, but it looks like somepony's gettin' themselves all worked up over nothin'.
Twilight Sparkle: This is not nothing. This is everything. I need you guys to help me find somepony with a problem I can fix before sundown! My whole life depends on it!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Oh, Twilight, you're such a crack-up! [laughs]
Applejack: Come on now. Have a seat and stop sweatin' the small stuff.
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed groans]
Fluttershy: Wow. I've never seen Twilight so upset before.
Rarity: Oh, what a drama queen. Mm. Relatively speaking...
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: Clock is ticking, Twilight. Clock. Is. Ticking. Keep it together. If I can't find a friendship problem... I'll make a friendship problem!
[bird chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: [insane giggles]
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, girls! [twitch, twitch]
Apple Bloom: Oh, hi, Twilight. How's it go--
Twilight Sparkle: Gr-eat. Just great. You three look like you're doing great too! Looks like three good friends who obviously don't need the help of another good friend. This is Smarty Pants. She was mine when I was your age, and now I want to give her to you!
Scootaloo: Uhh... she's... great.
Apple Bloom: Yeah. Great.
Sweetie Belle: I really... like her... mane.
Twilight Sparkle: She even comes with her own notebook and quill, for when you want to pretend she's doing her homework!
Scootaloo: That's... um... great.
Apple Bloom: Yeah... great.
Sweetie Belle: I really like her... mane?
Twilight Sparkle: I just hope the fact that there are three of you and only one of her doesn't become a problem! I'd hate to cause a rift between such good friends. So, who wants to play with her first?
Apple Bloom: Uh... You should play with her first, Sweetie Belle. Y'know, 'cause you like her mane so much.
Sweetie Belle: Nonononononono. I think Scootaloo should get to play with her first.
Scootaloo: I'd love to, but, um, you take her, Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom: Applejack says it's important to share.
Twilight Sparkle: [thinking] I gotta think of something! Thinkthinkthinkthinkthink Twilight, think! [gasp] That's it! [aloud] Ooh, you're going to like Smarty Pants. And you're going to like her more than anything.
Scootaloo: [gasp] I want it.
Apple Bloom: I need it.
Sweetie Belle: I really like her mane!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [arguing]
Twilight Sparkle: The 'want it, need it' spell. Works every time. Okay, okay, let's break it up. I think we can all see that there is an important lesson to be learned here about-- Ugh! C'mon, girls, we're all friends here, right? Don't you think you ought to share?
Apple Bloom: No way!
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed groan] Big McIntosh! Thank goodness! You've gotta help me get that doll away from those girls!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [continue arguing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, thank you so much. Now if you could just give her to me?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no!
Apple Bloom: Give her back!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [don't touch it, it's mine, etc.]
Mayor Mare: What's all the commotion about?
Orange Swirl: They're fighting over that doll!
Sweetie Drops: That incredible, amazing doll!
Many ponies: [arguing for the doll]
Twilight Sparkle: Can't... get... a clear shot! [grunting]
Mayor Mare: Gimme!
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, what have I done?!
Ponies: [arguing]
Applejack: Y'all hear that? What in the name of all things oats 'n apples is goin' on here?!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't look at it!
Rarity: Don't look at what?
Twilight Sparkle: My Smarty Pants doll! I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her!
Fluttershy: Why would you enchant your doll?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!
Applejack: Not almost!
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle!
Applejack: Whoa nelly.
[Smarty Pants doll squeaks]
Big McIntosh: [neighs and whinnies]
Princess Celestia: Meet me in the library.
Twilight Sparkle: Goodbye, girls. If you care to visit, I'll be in magic kindergarten, back in Canterlot.
Fluttershy: Magic kindergarten?
Rainbow Dash: Canterlot?
Pinkie Pie: We're never gonna see Twilight again!
Applejack: Uh, what are we gonna do, y'all?
Rarity: Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! What? I really mean it this time!
Twilight Sparkle: But...but... I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad student! I'm... tardy!
Princess Celestia: You are a wonderful student, Twilight. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Rainbow Dash: Wait!
Pinkie Pie: You can't punish her!
Applejack: It wasn't her fault!
Princess Celestia: I'm listening.
Fluttershy: Please, your Highness. We all saw that Twilight was upset.
Rainbow Dash: But we thought that the thing she was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about.
Applejack: So when she ran off all worked up, not a single one of us tried to stop her.
Rarity: As Twilight's good friends, we should have taken her feelings seriously and been there for her!
Fluttershy: Please don't take her away from us just because we were too insensitive to help her.
Princess Celestia: Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Princess Celestia: Very well. I'll forget Twilight's "punishment" on one condition.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [All right, etc.]
Princess Celestia: From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship when, and only when, you happen to discover them.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?
Princess Celestia: Your friend Spike made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you. I commend him for taking your feelings seriously. Now, if you will all excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I'm expecting some mail.
Applejack: Y'all heard the Princess. Spike, take a letter.
Applejack: [clears throat] Dear Princess Celestia,
We're writin' to you because today we all learned a little somethin' about friendship.
Fluttershy: We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously.
Rainbow Dash: Even if you don't think that she has anything to worry about.
Rarity: And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem...
Pinkie Pie: ...into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem.
Applejack: Signed, your loyal subjects.
Spike: P.S. Obviously Spike did not have to learn a lesson, because he is the best, most awesome friend a pony could ask for. Unlike everypony else, he took things seriously, and- Eheh... uh... yeah... I'll just, um...
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [laughs]
Spike: [snorts]
[music]
[credits]

Luna Eclipsed

Spike: Ugh, come on, Twilight. We're gonna be late for the Nightmare Night festival. Huh? Are you that one kooky grandpa from Ponyville Retirement Village?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm Star Swirl the Bearded! Father of the amniomorphic spell? Did you even read that book I gave you about obscure unicorn history?
Spike: Uh.. [knocking] That sounds important. [yelp]
Fillies: Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, everypony. Great costumes. Happy Nightmare Night, Granny Smith.
Granny Smith: I should have been asleep five hours ago.
Pipsqueak: Pipsqueak the pirate, at your service. It's my very first Nightmare Night.
Twilight Sparkle: Since you moved here from Trottingham?
Pipsqueak: No, my very first Nightmare Night ever!
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawk] Enough chitchat! Time is candy!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, aren't you a little old for this?
Pinkie Pie: Too old for free candy? [chicken squawk] Never.
Twilight Sparkle: [bell jingles] Do you like it?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Great costume, Twilight! You make a fantastic weirdo clown!
Twilight Sparkle: A clown? Look at the borders on these robes. These are hoof-stitched!
Spike: It's a great costume! Huh! Grandpa!
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl the Bearded is only the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era.
Background ponies: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: He created more than two hundred spells! He even has a shelf in the Canterlot library of magic named after him. Maybe I should start up a pony group to teach ponies about history. I bet everypony would love it! Don't you, Spike?
Spike: [chewing candy] Mm-hmm! [eating sounds] I love it!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey look, we're here already! Should we get something to eat?
Spike: [burp]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, Twilight! Look at our haul! Ah! Can you believe it? And then, we went to Cheerilee's house, and got a bunch more goodies. Didn't we, Pip?
Pipsqueak: Sure did!
Pinkie Pie: And then, we had to stop and wait for Granny Smith, and -–
[lightning zap]
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawk]
Foals: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing maniacally]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, that wasn't very nice.
Rainbow Dash: Lighten up, old-timer. This is the best night of the year for pranks!
Twilight Sparkle: Look what you did to Spike!
Spike: [choking on candy]
Rainbow Dash: It's all in good fun. Oh! Oh! There's another group over there!
[lightning zap]
Background ponies: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing maniacally]
Twilight Sparkle: Happy Nightmare Night, Applejack!
Applejack: Howdy, Spike! Hey, Twilight! Nice costume.
Spike: Thanks! I'm a dragon.
Twilight Sparkle: She means me, Spike.
Applejack: With that beard, I reckon you're some sorta country music singer.
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed grunt]
Spike: [laughing]
Applejack: While y'all are here, ya' feel like bobbin' for an apple?
[cheering and applauding]
Mayor Mare: Thank you, everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival!
[cheering and applauding]
Mayor Mare: Now, all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon! [laughter]
Spike: Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Zecora: Follow me, and very soon, you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.
Zecora: Listen close, my little dears, I'll tell you where you got your fears of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary. [blows] Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.
All: [gasps]
Zecora: Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves from her searching eyes.
Foals: [screaming]
Zecora: But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing: to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!
Pipsqueak and Pinkie Pie: [scream]
Zecora: Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year!
Pipsqueak: Uh, Miss Zecora, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won't gobble us up, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?
Zecora: A perfect question, my little friend. For Nightmare Moon you must not offend. [blows] Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!
Pinkie Pie: [screaming] Everypony! Just dump some candy and get out of here!
[thunder]
[wind whistling]
All: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] It's Nightmare Moon! Run!
All: [screaming]
[thunder]
All: [screaming, squawking]
[thunder, lightning, screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: [awestruck] Princess Luna!
Cloud Kicker: [whimpers]
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!
[lightning, thunder]
Pinkie Pie: Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!
All: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [normal voice] What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror! [stomps hoof] Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived.
Mayor Mare: [gasp]
Raven: [gasp]
Princess Luna: What is the matter with you? Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna go talk to her.
Spike: You can't talk to her! She's Nightmare Moon!
Twilight Sparkle: No, she's not. I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good. But it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna? Hi, my name is-
Princess Luna: Star Swirl the Bearded. Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! Finally! Somepony who gets my costume! Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is-
Princess Luna: Twilight Sparkle. [booming voice] It was thou who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us and took away our dark powers!
Twilight Sparkle: And that was a good thing, right?
Princess Luna: [normal voice] But of course. We could not be happier. Is that not clear?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at me.
Princess Luna: But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice! It is tradition to speak using the royal "we", and to use [booming voice] this much volume when addressing our subjects!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results. I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Change our approach?
Twilight Sparkle: Lower the volume?
Princess Luna: [normal voice] Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Princess. Fluttershy can give you some great pointers. She's delicate and demure with the sweetest little voice. [knocks]
Fluttershy: Go away! No candy here! Visitors not welcome on Nightmare Night!
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughing] Fluttershy, it's me, Twilight!
Fluttershy: It is you. Ah, and Nightmare Moon. [gasp] Nightmare Moon? [yelps]
[door slams]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughter] Wait right here.
[various noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy... you remember Princess Luna?
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Charmed.
Fluttershy: [timidly] Likewise.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Twilight Sparkle hath spoken of the sweetness of thy voice. We ask thou teachest to us to speak as thou speakest.
Fluttershy: [very quiet] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Shall our lessons begin?
Fluttershy: [whisper] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Shall we mimic thy voice?
Fluttershy: [quiet] Okay.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] How is this?
Fluttershy: [hurriedly] Perfect, lesson over!
[door thuds shut]
Twilight Sparkle: A little quieter, princess.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] How is... [loud voice] this?
Twilight Sparkle: Better. Right, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: [nervous, dazed laughter] Yes.
Princess Luna: [loud voice] How... about... now?
Twilight Sparkle: Now you're getting it.
Princess Luna: [normal voice] And... how about now?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Well done.
Princess Luna: [booming voice] I thank thee, dear Fluttershy! Our normal speaking voice shall surely win us the hearts of thy fellow villagers.
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy! You've gotta hide us! Nightmare Moon is here and... [chicken squawk] Ah! She stole Fluttershy's voice so she can't scream when she gobbles her up!
Foals: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [booming voice] Nay, children, wait! [normal voice] I mean... nay, children, no, wait.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, princess. Time for plan B.
All: Hurray!
Several ponies: [whimper]
Sassaflash: Aah!
Princess Luna: It is of no use, Twilight Sparkle. They have never liked us and they never shall.
Twilight Sparkle: My friend Applejack is one of the most likable ponies around. I'm sure she'll have some ideas.
Pipsqueak: Heee...!
Applejack: Whoop. Careful there, partner. [whimper]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Applejack, the princess is looking for a little advice on how to fit in around here.
Applejack: "Fit in"? Really?
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed grunt]
Applejack: I mean... that's easy! All you gotta do is have the right attitude. Loosen up a bit, be positive, play a few games, have some fun.
Princess Luna: Fun? What is this "fun" thou speakest of? Pray tell, what purpose do these serve?
Cherry Berry: Try to land the sp-sp-spiders on the web.
Applejack: You can do it, princess!
Princess Luna: Ha! Your princess enjoys this "fun"! In what other ways may we experience it?
Twilight Sparkle: Fire away, princess!
Princess Luna: Ha ha! The fun has been doubled!
All: Hurray! [cheering]
Applejack: Why don't you try bobbin' for apples? We got the best apples in Equestria here, princess.
Princess Luna: I ask that thou call us... me... Luna, fair Applejack. Hear me, villagers! All of you! Call me Luna!
All: Luna... [approving chatter]
Princess Luna: Show me to these bobbing apples.
Pipsqueak: Whoa! [splash]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, gals. Anypony seen Pip? We lost him the last time we had to run– [chicken squawk] Aaah! Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!
Fillies: [scream]
Pipsqueak: Help! My backside has been gobbled!
Princess Luna: 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp! [hoof stomp, thunder] Fair villagers, please do not back away. Let us join together in... fun!
[toy spider squeaks]
Princess Luna: Not enough fun for you? What say you to this?!
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: Huzzah! How many points do I receive?
Golden Harvest: [scream]
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: Do not run away!
Daisy: [scream]
Princess Luna: As your princess, we command you!
Citizens: [screaming]
Princess Luna: [deafening voice] Be still!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, remember! Watch the screaming!
Princess Luna: [booming voice] No, Twilight Sparkle! We must use the traditional royal Canterlot voice for what we are about to say. Since you choose to fear your princess rather than love her, and dishonor her with this insulting celebration, we decree that Nightmare Night shall be canceled! Forever!
[thunder]
Applejack: [sigh] Shoot. We had everything goin' our way. Luna was happy, everypony in town was happy, now look at 'em.
Noi: [crying] But I wanted to be a zombie next year.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not over yet.
Applejack: What are you gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm going to do what I do best. Lecture her!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess?
Princess Luna: Leave me be, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out how we wanted. But you have to believe me when I tell you that Nightmare Night is one of the most popular celebrations we have.
Princess Luna: Yes. I can tell. By all the adoring shrieks of the children as they run away.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess...
Ponies: [whimpering and crying]
Pinkie Pie: [chicken squawking] [shriek]
Twilight Sparkle: No! No shrieking. No screaming or squealing either. Okay?
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Okay.
Twilight Sparkle: There's something I want you to see. And I promise that it's safe, but you really, really, really can't shriek. Do you promise not to shriek?
Pinkie Pie: Mm-hmm. [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you remember Princess Luna, right?
Princess Luna: Ah. The ringleader of the frightened children. Hast thou come to make peace?
[thunder]
Pinkie Pie: Nightmare Moon! [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: [laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: She's changed, Pinkie! She's not evil or scary anymore! And she definitely doesn't want to gobble you up!
Pinkie Pie: Well, duh.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: I know that. Sheesh, Twilight. I'm almost as big as her, how's she gonna gobble me up?
Twilight Sparkle: So why do you keep running away and screaming?
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes it's just really fun to be scared!
Twilight Sparkle: Fun? Pinkie Pie, you're a genius!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm not. I'm a chicken. [chicken squawk]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna! I've finally figured out why you're having so much trouble being liked!
Princess Luna: [deadpan] Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm.
Twilight Sparkle: Come with me. I'll explain everything on the way.
Pipsqueak: Gosh. I never thought my very first Nightmare Night would be my very last.
Zecora: Come, little Pip. Now don't you fret. Nightmare Night's not over yet. We still have candy left to give, so Nightmare Moon might let us live.
Mayor Mare: Yes. Come on, little ponies. What's Nightmare Night without the annual candy offering? You don't want Nightmare Moon to gobble you up, do you?
Spike: Aw, the rainbow wig just kills it for me.
Applejack: Come on, kids! Doesn't that sound like fun?
Pipsqueak: Goodbye, Nightmare Night. Forever.
[wind whistling]
Nightmare Moon: [booming voice] Citizens of Ponyville! You were wise to bring this candy to me. I am pleased with your offering. So pleased that I may just eat it... instead of eating you!
Ponies: [scream]
Princess Luna: [spit] I am not certain that did what you meant for it to do, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Just wait.
Princess Luna: For what? For... for them to scream some more?
Pipsqueak: Um... Princess Luna. I know there's not gonna be any more Nightmare Night, but do you suppose maybe you could come back next year and scare us again anyway?
Princess Luna: Child. Art thou saying that thou... likest me to scare you?
Pipsqueak: It's really fun! Scary, but fun!
Princess Luna: It... is?
Pipsqueak: Yeah! Nightmare Night is my favorite night of the year.
Princess Luna: Well then. We shall have to bring [booming voice] Nightmare Night back!
Pipsqueak: Whoa! You're my favorite princess ever! [to foals] She said yes, guys!
Foals: YAY!
Twilight Sparkle: See? They really do like you, princess.
Princess Luna: Can it be true? [thunder, booming voice] Oh, most wonderful of -- [normal voice] I mean... Oh, most wonderful of nights.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn't know anything about friendship. I met somepony tonight who was having the same problem -- your sister, Princess Luna! She taught me that one of the best things you can do with friendship is to give it to others, and help them find it themselves! And I'm happy to report that all of Ponyville has learned that even if somepony seems a little intimidating, even scary, when you offer them your friendship, you'll discover a whole new pony underneath. And even if my Star Swirl the Bearded costume didn't go over, this still turned out to be the best Nightmare Night ever!
[lightning zap]
Rainbow Dash: [scream]
Princess Luna: [laughter]
Spike and Twilight: [laughter]
[music]
[credits]

Sisterhooves Social

[birds chirping]
Rarity: [mumbling in sleep] Oh... Are those sweet... carrot... pancakes I smell? [gasp] Mmm, how divine, num num num num. The aroma... spiced warm apple cider. [sniff] Ahh, and, the smell of... smoke... smoke? Smoke?! SMOO— AAH!
[fire siren, crashing, yelps]
Sweetie Belle: Rarity! Rrgh, you ruined the surprise! I was gonna serve you breakfast in bed!
Rarity: [sigh]
[theme song]
Rarity: [inhales]
Hondo Flanks: Well! G'mornin', Rarity!
Rarity: Father! Mother!
Hondo Flanks: I'll have you know that Sweetie Belle here cooked this yummy lookin' breakfast all on her own.
Rarity: I... figured. [sniffs] I didn't know you could burn juice.
Cookie Crumbles: I've been giving her lessons. I wouldn't be surprised if she's got a cutie mark in fancy cooking by the time we get back from our vacation.
Rarity: Vacation? Is that this week? As in 'starting this very instant' this week?! Uurh. Let me guess: apple sauce?
Sweetie Belle: Nope. Toast! We're gonna have the bestest time two sisters could ever have! I'm gonna go grab my stuff from Dad's wagon.
Rarity: So, now, when you say 'a week'... is that, um, seven whole days?
Cookie Crumbles: And six nights, I know! Such a short time to spend with your little sis.
Hondo Flanks: You gonna eat that?
Rarity: But I've got such a long to-do list. Oh well, I suppose 'spend time with your sister' will just have to be added to the list.
[crash]
Sweetie Belle: Just a few necessities.
[horn honks]
Rarity: Now, let's get that kitchen all cleaned up.
Sweetie Belle: Cleaned up? But we haven't even eaten yet.
Rarity: Well now, Sweetie Belle, I appreciate the gesture, but we simply can't eat this breakfast; it's burnt.
Sweetie Belle: It's not that burnt.
Rarity: Never fear, my dear, I'll get a proper breakfast going.
Sweetie Belle: Can I help?
Rarity: Oh, er, of course, er, in one moment, Sweetie Belle. Let me just get things started.
Sweetie Belle: Rarity! I thought you said I was gonna help!
Rarity: You are! You... can... put the garnish on the plates.
Sweetie Belle: You mean this parsley?
Rarity: Okay, now, easy! It has to be just right! No need to rush. No! That's too slow. Careful! Back up! Looking for perfection here...
Sweetie Belle: Whoa, whoa!
[crash]
Rarity: Not... bad.
Rarity: [gasp] There are some things I must attend to. Can you take the dirty towels to the laundry room?
Sweetie Belle: No problem, I'll make myself useful!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle!
Sweetie Belle: I told you I'd make myself useful. Surprised?
Rarity: Am I? You washed my incredibly expensive one-of-a-kind designer crocheted wool sweater! Do you know how hard these things are to come by?
Sweetie Belle: What's the big deal?
Rarity: The big deal is that in the heat of the sun, wool... shrinks.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Sorry.
Rarity: Nng... Well. Back to work. I must create.
Sweetie Belle: Sorry?
Rarity: Huh. Stay out of trouble, okay? Please?
Sweetie Belle: I just wanted to do something nice for my sister.
Sweetie Belle: Raargh, I'm so bored! When is Rarity gonna finish her work?
Rarity: [in Sweetie Belle's mind] Stay out of trouble, okay?
Sweetie Belle: I never got in trouble for drawing. Hmm. This needs something...
Sweetie Belle: Hi, Rarity! I made a special drawing for y–
Rarity: [screams] Oh no! Did you use these gems?!
Sweetie Belle: Well, yes, but I know you'll have more in your work room...
Rarity: But, but these are extremely rare baby blue sapphires! I need them for an outfit for an extremely important client!
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Sorry.
Rarity: [sigh] Sweetie Belle, what am I going to do with you?
Sweetie Belle: Oh! We could paint together, we could ride bikes, play chess, sing a song, catch frogs, pillow fight–
Rarity: That's not what I meant!
Sweetie Belle: Oh.
Rarity: Now I have to go and find some more of these gems!
Sweetie Belle: I'll go with you and help!
Rarity: No! No thank you. You can help by picking up these papers and stacking them, neatly. Put the pens and pencils back exactly where you found them, and please find something to do that doesn't create a large mess for me to clean up!
Sweetie Belle: Geez Louise, can't I do anything right?
Rarity: Sweetie Belle! I'm back! Sweetie Belle? [gasps in shock]
Sweetie Belle: Surprise!
Rarity: My- ee- bleh- My inspiration room! What did you do? What did you do?!
Sweetie Belle: When I saw the big mess in your room, I thought I'd clean it up for you.
Rarity: This wasn't a mess! It was organized chaos! I was just about finished planning my new fashion line, and, and you, you, you went and, and you– and you put everything away!
Sweetie Belle: But every time I make a mess, you get upset!
Rarity: But this was my mess in my house! And now I have to start from scratch!
Sweetie Belle: But, I thought it would make you happy!
Rarity: Happy?! Happy?! I– [grinds teeth] I just need some time alone. Hm!
Apple Bloom: How's the sleepover at Rarity's goin'?
Sweetie Belle: [mimicking Rarity] Why, it's smashing!
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: I just wish we could do something special together that didn't include me goofing anything up.
Apple Bloom: The Sisterhooves Social! Applejack an' I do it every year! You an' Rarity can compete against other sister teams in all these neat events!
Sweetie Belle: That sounds like the perfect way for us to hang out! Rarity will think it's an excellent idea.
Rarity: What a ridiculous idea. A contest at Sweet Apple Acres? It doesn't sound... very... clean.
Sweetie Belle: So, what, now you're back to hating messes?
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, watch your tone! I am still your big sister.
Sweetie Belle: Right! And any sister who cares about her sister goes!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle...! Honestly! Playing silly little games in the dirt is just... uncouth! With or without a sister.
Sweetie Belle: Well then! Maybe, maybe I'll try the Sisterhooves Social without a sister! In fact, I think I'll try the rest of my life without a sister!
Rarity: [gasp] Oh, I'm the one who's ruining your life?! Really?! Have you looked around this place? I'm the one who'd be better off with no sister!
Sweetie Belle: Well it looks like we finally agree on something! Neither of us needs a sister!
Rarity: Deal!
Sweetie Belle: Deal! Goodbye, un-sister!
Rarity: Hmph!
Applejack: 'Uncouth'? She said the Sisterhooves Social was 'uncouth'?
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Uncouth? [belch] Wait. What's uncouth?
Sweetie Belle: It's not just the Social. She thinks I'm uncouth.
Applejack: Honey, Rarity thinks everything's uncouth.
Apple Bloom: [with mouth full] What's uncouth?
Applejack: It means uncivil. Y'know, bad mannered?
Apple Bloom: [belch]
Applejack: Exactly. Sweetie Belle, just give Rarity some time. She'll come around. Sisters always do.
Sweetie Belle: Not sisters like Rarity.
Applejack: Come on, now. Apple Bloom and I got some chores to finish up on. Maybe you can help!
Sweetie Belle: You sure you want me to help? I just mess everything up!
Applejack: Oh, come on, that's just stinkin' thinkin'. Watch!
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [laughing]
Applejack: Good catch there, Apple Bloom! Whoo!
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [more laughing]
Sweetie Belle: This is a chore?
Applejack: Since we can't sell the bruised apples, we gotta collect them all for the pigs to eat.
Apple Bloom: It's a lot of work, so we make a game of it. Wanna try?
Sweetie Belle: Um, okay. Ow! You're right, it is hard work.
Apple Bloom: That's why we do it...
Applejack and Apple Bloom: Together!
Sweetie Belle: Huh, Rarity never wants to do chores together.
Rarity: Ugh, all that work ruined, thanks to Sweetie Belle. Oh my. It's usually a big mess in here. [gasp] Id-ee-a! This is genius! I shall call it 'full spectrum fashions'! If Sweetie Belle hadn't– [clears throat] Well, no matter. She still shouldn't have touched my things without permission. Hm!
Applejack: Apple Bloom! You're up!
Sweetie Belle: You're... making... grape juice? Rarity would call the fashion police on me if I got grape juice anywhere near her precious outfits.
Apple Bloom: Well, that's silly!
Applejack: Apple Bloom...
Sweetie Belle: Please, Applejack, she didn't mean–
Apple Bloom: Whoa! [laughing]
Applejack: How d'you like them grapes, y'little whippersnapper!
Apple Bloom: That tickles! [laughing]
Rarity: Now to get these fabrics washed for my fabulous new line. Ooh, my favorite sweater... I just can't believe that Sweetie Belle.
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: Oh, Opal-wopal! It's as if Sweetie Belle knew the sweater was perfect for you. And Sweetie Belle should consider herself perfectly lucky that this thoughtless mishap turned out all right. Hm.
[sheep baaing]
Applejack: Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: Got it, sis!
Sweetie Belle: Wow. It's as if they were just one pony.
Applejack and Apple Bloom: Yee-haw!
Applejack: Way to corral some critters, sis!
Sheep: You coulda just a-a-a-asked.
Sweetie Belle: Rarity never high-hoofs me.
Rarity: Perfect! Just one more, and this ensemble is fini! Rrgh, Sweetie Belle! Where's her silly little arts and crafts project?
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie Belle! My one and only sister! What have I done? All the time I could have spent with you was wasted complaining and wishing you were gone! [crying dramatically] Woe is me! No! I must get her back! I must! As Celestia is my witness, I shall never be sisterless again!
Rarity: [gasp] Sweetie Belle! Oh, I have been galloping all over looking for you. I–
Sweetie Belle: Oh hello, un-sister. What are you doing here? Better be careful, you might get some dust on you.
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie Belle, I want to apologize. I am not better off without a sister.
Sweetie Belle: I'm not better off without a sister either. Spending the day with Applejack and Apple Bloom made me realize that.
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie, you don't know how happy I am to hear–
Sweetie Belle: And that's why I'm adopting Applejack as my big sister!
Rarity: What?!
Applejack: What?!
Apple Bloom: What?!
Sweetie Belle: A sister is someone who loves and takes care of another sister. Applejack's a real sister.
Applejack: H-Hold on, Sweetie Belle. Don't get ahead of yourself here.
Apple Bloom: Besides, she's my big sister!
Applejack: Yeah, um–
Sweetie Belle: [to Rarity] Or maybe she should be your sister, so she could teach you what a good sister is supposed to be!
Applejack: Heh, um, actually, I–
Rarity: But I don't need lessons on being a good sister, I-I promise! Listen! I'll show you how to cook my favorite quiche! Or, or, I'll show you the proper way to beautify your mane. Won't that be fun? Hm?
Sweetie Belle: Hm! You want me to go home with you, so we can do what you wanna do?
Rarity: Uh... yes?
Sweetie Belle: Just forget it!
Apple Bloom: We're still sisters, right?
Rarity: Well, that apology went swimmingly. Applejack, why do you have to be so good and make me look so bad?
Applejack: [chuckles] Oh Rarity, once again you're thinkin' about yourself. Bein' sisters is a give and take. You've been doin' a whole lotta takin', but you haven't been doin' a whole lotta givin'.
Rarity: But of course I give. I give lessons. Reasonable demands.
Applejack: But ya never give in. Bein' sisters is like... apple pie. You can have amazin' apples, and you can have a wonderfully crispy crust, but only together you can have a perfect apple pie.
Rarity: But apart, all we are is just a pile of mush and some crumbly dry mess... [gasp] I know what I need to do! I just hope it isn't too late!
Sweetie Belle: Well, I guess it's a good thing Rarity isn't here. Do I see 'uncouth' written all over this contest?
Apple Bloom: Look at the size of that pig!
Applejack: He sure is a cutie.
Sweetie Belle: That's the last word Rarity would use. [mimicking Rarity] Oh my, what a repulsive monstrosity! This thing needs a head to toe makeover!
Applejack: It's almost time!
Sweetie Belle: Well, you two have fun. Sure wish I had a sister to run the race with. Huh?
Apple Bloom: You do now!
Applejack: AB and I figured since we do this every year...
Apple Bloom: I'd let you borrow my sis so you can give it a try!
Applejack: Sister for a day.
Sweetie Belle: No way!
Apple Bloom: One. Day. One. Day.
Granny Smith: Is this thing on? [to Big McIntosh] I don't think this thing is on. [to the megaphone] Hello! [Big McIntosh whispers into her ear] What is the- e- oh. You have to say so. Confangled modern doohickeys. Now, the event you've all been waiting fer! The Sister Soci- The Socialhooves- Oh, dabnabbit, you know, the big race! We have five teams this year fer the event! So y'all head on up to the finish line, y'hear? [Big McIntosh whispers into her ear] [to Big McIntosh] Eh? [to the megaphone] The start line! [to Big McIntosh] That's what I said.
Sweetie Belle: That's us.
Apple Bloom: One. Day. Good luck!
Granny Smith: And may the best sisters win! On your marks... get set... Gooooo!
Applejack: [yelps]
Sweetie Belle: You okay, Applejack?
Sweetie Belle: Applejack, help!
Sweetie Belle: You can do it, sister!
[ponies cheering]
Apple Bloom: Ooh, so close! You almost won!
Sweetie Belle: Thank you, Applejack! You were amazing! I don't even care that we didn't win. This was so much fun! Huh? Rarity?! Wait, where's Applejack?
Applejack: [deep breath]
Sweetie Belle: I don't get it.
Applejack: [chuckles] We switched places over at the very first mudhole.
Sweetie Belle: So, we did the whole competition... together?
Rarity: That we did, little sister. Well, except for the start line.
Apple Bloom: But you finished together!
Sweetie Belle: You mean... you were all in on it?
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Sweetie Belle: You did this for me?
Rarity: Us. I did it for us. You see? We are apple pie!
Sweetie Belle: Huh?
Rarity: Uh, I'll explain later. For now, I think we deserve a celebration!
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Sweetie Belle: Where?
Rarity: The spa, of course.
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, Rarity.
Rarity: No, I-I-I'm serious.
Rarity: Very well then, what should we write to the Princess?
Sweetie Belle: I'll start. Having a sister is just about the bestest thing in the world. But it sure isn't the easiest.
Rarity: I agree that being sisters is a wonderful thing, but it takes teamwork. Sometimes it's about compromising. Sometimes it's about accepting each others' differences. But mostly, it's about having fun together. Even if it means getting your hooves a little bit dirty.
Sweetie Belle: A lot dirty.
Rarity: A little bit dirty.
Sweetie Belle: A lot dirty.
Rarity: A little bit dirty!
Sweetie Belle: A lo–
Spike: Hold it, hold it! How about "a medium amount of dirty, not too little, not too much, just right"?
Rarity and Sweetie Belle: Deal!
[birds chirping]
[music]
[credits]

The Cutie Pox

Apple Bloom: Today's the day, Cutie Mark Crusaders! I can just feel it! Today's the day we are all gonna get our cutie marks in... bowlin'!
Scootaloo: Whoo-hoo!
Sweetie Belle: [muffled] Whooo! [spits out bag] I mean, yaay!
Apple Bloom: Why, after today, we won't even be the Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore! We'll be the... the Three Strikes!
Scootaloo: That makes us sound like we've struck out.
Apple Bloom: Mmm. How 'bout the Pin Twins?
Sweetie Belle: But there are three of us.
Apple Bloom: Okay then... Um... the Bowlin' Dolls!
Sweetie Belle: The Bowling Dolls! That's it!
Scootaloo: Perfect!
Apple Bloom: All righty then! Let's bowl 'em over!
Scootaloo: [laughs nervously]
Apple Bloom: Phpoo!
[ponies cheering]
Sea Swirl: Cool! A bowling cutie mark!
Apple Bloom: I did it! I did it! Blank?
[more cheering]
Apple Bloom: But... but... what about my ball?
[theme song]
Sweetie Belle: That bowling sure was fun, even if all I got was gutter balls.
Scootaloo: Yeah, at least you were able to keep your ball in your lane. I don't think Mr. Kingpin is ever gonna let me play again! Hey, maybe I could get my cutie mark in demolition!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [laughs]
Scootaloo: Aw, come on, Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle: I know just what you need to put the bloom back on your apple.
Sweetie Belle: A treat from Sugarcube Corner will cheer you up.
Apple Bloom: No, it won't.
[kazoos blow]
Pinkie Pie: A party will cheer you up!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [blow party whistles]
[kazoos blow]
Apple Bloom: No, it won't.
[honk]
[crash]
Rarity: A lovely new chapeau will cheer you up.
Apple Bloom: No, it won't.
Scootaloo: Come on, Apple Bloom, it's just a cutie mark!
Sweetie Belle: Or lack of a cutie mark!
Scootaloo: Shh! That's not helping! Apple Bloom! Where are you going?! Apple Bloom, come back!
Apple Bloom: Whoa! Ah! Ooh! Ow! Nnnn...
Zecora: Well, who is it that we have here? Why, it's Apple Bloom, my dear!
Apple Bloom: Ow...
Zecora: What has happened to you, youth? Ah, you've gone and chipped your tooth. Come with me, I have just the trick that will fix you up quite quick.
Apple Bloom: [with a lisp] I've tried everything, Zecora, and still no cutie mark! Well, I'm gonna be as old as Granny Smith and still have a blank flank!
Zecora: Your frustration is well understood, but one must be patient for all things good.
Apple Bloom: [with a lisp] Ugh, I've heard that from every pony I know! And now from every zebra I know! I'm just too impatient to be patient. I just want my cutie mark and I want it now!
[poof!]
Zecora: For your cutie mark, you will have to wait. We must fix that tooth before it's too late. Now drink down every little drop, and this mixture will mend that chip on top!
Apple Bloom: [glug, glug] Oh my star apples, you did it, Zecora! Golly, you have tonics that heal all sorts of ailments. Bad bones, bad back, bad breath...
Zecora: Yes little one, it is true, I have many a healing brew.
Apple Bloom: And not only stuff that fixes the bad, but stuff that brings the good! Good health, good hair... good heavens! Hmm... I bet you can mix up a brew to fix... anything.
Zecora: There are many mixtures in this room, but none for what you want, dear Apple Bloom. A magic potion does not hold the key. For a cutie mark, time is the only remedy.
Apple Bloom: Fine. Whatcha got goin' on there?
Zecora: I am brewing up another mix for a rooster and his chicks. [muffled] It seems the rooster has lost his crow, [normal] making mornings very slow.
Apple Bloom: Hey, I've seen that flower bloomin' in Ponyville! What is it?
Zecora: It is one we call 'Heart's Desire'. A dash will ignite the rooster's fire. With Heart's Desire, his talent comes into view, and he'll give a mighty cock-a-doodle-doo!
Apple Bloom: Zowie! Heart's Desire, huh?
Zecora: Ay me, but what is this? I have run out of amethyst. I must go get this purple flower for my brew to have full power!
Apple Bloom: Yeah, you go, you go.
[foals chattering]
Sweetie Belle: I'm so hungry.
Scootaloo: Yeah, I can't wai--
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Aah! Apple Bloom! You got your cutie mark!
Sweetie Belle: Um, Apple Bloom... what is it?
Scootaloo: Yeah! Is it an 'o'? Is your talent spelling?
Sweetie Belle: Or is it a ring? Are you a jewelry maker?
Twist: Or is it a powdered donut? 'Cause that sounds delicious.
Apple Bloom: No, it's a loop-de-hoop!
Scootaloo: [gasp] A what now?
Apple Bloom: A loop-de-hoop! 'Least, that's what I always called it. Applejack made it for me from an old rain barrel when I was littler! Who woulda thought that loop-de-hoop would end up bein' my special talent?
Sweetie Belle: Wow, Apple Bloom, that's amazing!
Diamond Tiara: That's it? That's your talent?
Silver Spoon: Spinning a hoop around your waist? Puh-lease.
Apple Bloom: Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
[foals cheering]
Scootaloo: Apple Bloom, you're super-duper-loop-de-hooper!
Apple Bloom: Thanks, everypony!
[bell rings]
Cheerilee: All right, my little ponies, time for class!
[foals in awe of Apple Bloom]
Cheerilee: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: Yes, Miss Cheerilee?
Cheerilee: I want you to take your loop-de-hoop into the yard... and give us all a lesson in your amazing loop-de-hooping!
[foals cheering]
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [grunting]
Apple Bloom: Don't worry, gals. Keep at it and you might get to be half as good as me!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Grr...
Apple Bloom: Great job, girls!
Sweetie Belle: You're too kind, Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo: Yeah, we stink.
Apple Bloom: Nah, you just need a little practice. Soon you'll be able to... hoop and bop! Hoop and hop! [muffled] Hoop and skip! [normal] And hoop and flip!
[foals cheering]
Cheerilee: [laughs] Show us some more, Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom: Well, all right, just a few more tricks. But be warned! These are advanced moves, not for beginners. Got that, Diamond Tiara?
Diamond Tiara: [growls]
Apple Bloom: I call this one the hoop-la! [makes helicopter noises] Huh? Oof!
Diamond Tiara: Another cutie mark? Hah! I guess that last trick was a lot of hoopla. Those cutie marks are fake!
Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Twist: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: What? No they're not!
Diamond Tiara: Miss Cheerilee, have you ever heard of a pony with two cutie marks?
Cheerilee: I must say that I never have, but maybe Apple Bloom has two special talents!
Silver Spoon: Oh yeah? Then let's see you do that!
Snips: Spin plates!
Snails: Yeah!
[foals gasping]
Sweetie Belle: Two cutie marks?
Scootaloo: Two talents?
Apple Bloom: Aw yeah!
Sweetie Belle: Our friend is the most...
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: ...special pony ever!
Apple Bloom: Alright, everypony, You ready for a real show?
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [snoring]
Applejack: [whistles]
[more cheering]
Applejack: Yee-haw, little sis! Congratulations on gettin' not just one, but two cutie marks! We're mighty proud of you, right, Big McIntosh?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: I've never seen anythin' like it. Have you, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Granny Smith: Why, the way you were a-hoopin' and a-hoppin' and kickin' and spinnin' reminded me of when I was a spry young filly. Guh, charley horse, charley horse! Ooh, that's better.
Applejack: Why, Apple Bloom, I think you're ready to hit the rodeo circuit right now!
Apple Bloom: Actually, I'm ready to hit the hay right now. I'm plum tuckered. I'll see y'all in the mornin'. Night!
Applejack: Night! Oh my, little Apple Bloom has finally blossomed, hasn't she, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
[tapping]
Applejack: [grunting] What in tarnation is that? Apple Bloom, what is all that awful... tapping? [gasp] Three cutie marks?!
Apple Bloom: Help me!
Apple Bloom: Help me!
Applejack: C'mere, you! Ow! Ow! Whoa!
Apple Bloom: I'm sorry, Applejack! I dunno how to make it stop!
Applejack: Well, I know somepony who might!
Twilight Sparkle: Three cutie marks. Three talents. I've never seen anything like it! I was just reading something about unusual equine illnesses. What was it?
Spike: "Perplexing Pony Plagues", perhaps?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Spike, you're amazing!
Spike: Yes, well, I do have some talents.
Twilight Sparkle: Hay fever... the trots... [gasp] Cutie pox!
Apple Bloom, Applejack and Spike: Cutie pox?!
Twilight Sparkle: Cutie pox. This puzzling pony plague afflicted a population of ponies back in the Paleopony Period!
Spike: Heh, say that ten times fast!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Random cutie marks appeared all over the ponies' bodies, causing them to perform all the talents that came with them!
Apple Bloom: Just like me!
Applejack: Yes, but what's the cure? What's the cure?!
Twilight Sparkle: It says here there's no known cure!
Apple Bloom, Applejack and Spike: No known cure?!
Twilight Sparkle: The cause of the breakout was never discovered, and the cutie pox disappears as mysteriously as they arrived!
Apple Bloom: Oh, no! Sacré bleu! Plus de marques de cutie! [gasp] Qu'est-ce c'est?! Je parle Français?!
Applejack: My sister's speakin' in fancy!
Twilight Sparkle: She needs help!
Applejack: I know she needs help! We can't just wait for this to go away! We gotta find somepony to mix up a cure! And fast!
Apple Bloom: Tout de suite!
Twilight Sparkle: Not some pony... some zebra!
Applejack: Zecora!
Applejack: Hurry, hurry!
Apple Bloom: Dépêchez-vous!
[jackhammer sounds]
[accordion playing]
[lions roaring]
Lily Valley: She's cursed!
Rose: Hexed!
Daisy: Enchanted!
Spike: No, she's not.
Daisy, Lily Valley and Rose: [sigh of relief]
Spike: She just has some weird mysterious disease with no known cure called cutie pox.
Everypony: Cutie pox?! [screaming]
[ponies panicking]
Pony: She's got the cutie pox!
[hawk cry]
Zecora: I thought I had removed their fear the last time that I visited here. But doors are barred and shutters shut. Guess I should've stayed inside my hut.
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora! Apple Bloom has cutie pox! We were just on our way to see if you had a cure!
Applejack: But magically you're here! Was your zebra sense a-tinglin'?
Zecora: My 'zebra sense' did not bring me round, it was a special flower that I needed found. I thought I picked enough to fix all the potions I had to mix, but after my visit from Apple Bloom, some had mysteriously left my room. Apple Bloom! What do you say? Did this flower just walk away?
Apple Bloom: I, um...
Zecora: A cutie pox cure I have forsooth, for healing power is in the Seeds of Truth.
Applejack: Well, well then give 'em to her! Quick!
Zecora: These seeds must be planted in the ground. With the truth, they'll grow, and the cure is found.
Applejack: Come again?
Zecora: The Seeds of Truth do hold the cure, but one must speak words, true and pure.
Apple Bloom: [gulp]
Applejack: Well then let's get to it! Alright, they're planted, now somepony tell the truth!
Apple Bloom: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Applejack: Somepony! Anypony!
Pinkie Pie: Yesterday I told Mrs. Cake that I ate two corn cakes, but I really ate three! Okay, six! I ate six corn cakes! [cries] Make it stop! Oh, make it stop!
Apple Bloom: Wah, I can't stand it any more! It's me! I admit it! I didn't earn my cutie mark! They're all fake! I figured the Heart's Desire would help me get what I wanted most! So when Zecora left her hut, I mixed up a special potion and put the rest of the Heart's Desire in it!
[ponies awing]
Apple Bloom: [chomps, chews and swallows] Ahh.
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom!
Scootaloo: Are you okay?
Apple Bloom: I'm great, and I've never been happier to be a blank flank. But I'm awful sorry I lied, 'specially to you gals. I was so desperate for my cutie mark, I just got carried away. And I'm really sorry I snuck those flowers from you, Zecora. Why, I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted me to come by again.
Zecora: Now, Apple Bloom, do not be silly. You are always welcome, my little filly. With each mistake you learn something new, growing up into a better you.
Twilight Sparkle: Apple Bloom, would you mind writing to Princess Celestia and telling her what you've learned?
Apple Bloom: I'd be happy to, Twilight! Spike?
Spike: Ready!
Apple Bloom: Dear Princess Celestia,
Waiting for what your heart desires can be really hard. So, you may try to take a shortcut. But this dishonesty never works, because you didn't earn what your heart desired. The only cure is being honest with yourself and others. And that's something every heart desires.
Applejack: I sure am proud of you, sis. Seems like you finally learned the importance of patience.
Apple Bloom: Yup! All good things come to those who wait. Well! I've waited long enough.
Scootaloo: Actually, that was way too long.
Applejack: What?!
Apple Bloom: So what are we gonna do today to earn our cutie marks?
Scootaloo: Well, I was thinking, for a pony who's never mixed up a potion before, you sure stirred up something fierce.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! So what if your talent is potion making?
Apple Bloom: Oh my gosh, totally! Let's go talk to Zecora, now!
Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!
[music]
[credits]

May the Best Pet Win!

Rainbow Dash: Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [laughs] Whoa!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Rainbow Dash: Who? Oh, it's you, Owlowiscious. C'mon, try and keep up! [laughs]
Winona: [barks]
Rainbow Dash: Winona? I mean... Winona's head?! Um, is this weird, or is it just me? Angel? Gummy?! Okay, this is officially beyond weird now and right on down to freaky town.
Opalescence: [hisses]
Rainbow Dash: [gasp] Yaaaaah!
Rainbow Dash: Whaa!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Winona: [barks]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Rainbow Dash: Phew.
[theme song]
Winona: [barks]
[ponies chattering]
Applejack: Let's get this thing started!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Rarity: Sincerest apologies, Rainbow, if our pets were bothering you.
Opalescence: [meow]
Rarity: Say you're sorry, Opal.
Opalescence: [hisses]
Rarity: She's... sorry.
Rainbow Dash: What are you all doing out here?
Applejack: Why, we always round up our critters for a regular ol' Pony Pet Playdate in this park.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you do?
Applejack: Same time every week.
Fluttershy: I thought you knew. You didn't know? She didn't know?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we had initially planned on inviting Rainbow, of course, except–
Pinkie Pie: We were totally gonna invite you, Rainbow, then Twilight remembered that you don't even have a pet, and Rarity remembered that you really like to take naps in the afternoon, so Applejack figured you wouldn't be missing out on anything anyway, and Fluttershy and I nodded our heads in agreement like this.
Fluttershy: Oh, please don't be mad at us.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'm not mad. You all are right. Not much point of a Pony Pet Playdate for me if I'm a pony without a pet, right?
Applejack: Eeexactly. So, if'n you'll excuse us...
[ponies chattering to their pets]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, now wait a minute! Just because I don't have a pet now doesn't mean I never want a pet!
Fluttershy: Ohh! Y, y, Oh, really? You really want a pet? Really? 'Cause I've got so many wonderful choices at my house! Oh, and I know you'll just love them! And they'll love you! Oh, and you'll be best friends forever and ever! Oh!


[Fluttershy]
Now, Rainbow, my dear, I cannot express my delight
It's abundantly clear
That somewhere out here
Is the pet that will suit you just right
[Rainbow Dash]
I can't wait to get started, but first let me set a few rules
It's of utmost importance
The pet that I get
Is something that's awesome and cool
Fluttershy: Awesome, cool, got it!
I have so many wonderful choices, just wait, you will see
[Rainbow Dash]
I need something real fast like a bullet to keep up with me
[Fluttershy]
Sure! How 'bout a bunny?
They're cutesy and wootsie and quick as can be
[Rainbow Dash]
Cutesy? Wootsie? Have you even met me?
[Fluttershy]
Rainbow, have faith
You see, I will bet you
Somewhere in here is the pet that will get you
Fluttershy: Come on, the sky's the limit!
Rainbow Dash: Sky is good. I'd like it to fly.
Fluttershy: Really? Because I think this widdle puddy tat has your name written all over it. Yes, he does. Aww, look, he likes you!
Rainbow Dash: Pass.
[Fluttershy]
I have so many wonderful choices for you to decide
There are otters and seals
With massive appeal
Rainbow Dash: Otters and seals do not fly.
Fluttershy: Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal catch ten feet of air when he breaches the water!
[seal barks]
Rainbow Dash: That's it. I'm outta here.
[Fluttershy]
Wait! There must be a pet here
That will fit the ticket
How 'bout a ladybug, or a cute cricket?
Rainbow Dash: Bigger. And cooler.
Fluttershy: Bigger, cooler. Right.
I've got just the thing in that tree, Dash
Meet your new fabulous pet, Squirrely!
Rainbow Dash: It's just a squirrel.
Fluttershy: Not just any squirrel. A flying squirrel!
Rainbow Dash: ...Yeah. So, like I was saying...
Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it
I need a pet to keep up with me
Something awesome, something flying
With coolness that defies gravity!
Fluttershy: I'm sensing you want an animal that can fly.
Rainbow Dash: Ya think?
[Fluttershy]
I have plenty of wonderful creatures who soar in the sky
Like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly
Rainbow Dash: Better, but cooler.
[Fluttershy]
I see. How 'bout an owl, or a wasp, or a toucan?
There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that
There are falcons and eagles
They are both quite regal
Or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious bat?
Rainbow Dash: Now you're talking! But instead of just one standout, now that's too many.
So many choices, and such riches aplenty
Fluttershy: Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me.
[Rainbow Dash]
The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too
Do you have something in a yellow striped bat?
Fluttershy: No.
I've got a hot pink flamingo, just dying to meet you
[Rainbow Dash]
What to do, what to do? [gasp]
A prize! That's it! There's really just one way
To find out which animal's best
Hold a contest of speed, agility, and guts
That will put each pet to the test
[Fluttershy]
Don't forget style, that should be considered
[Rainbow Dash]
Then we'll know for sure who's best of the litter
[Fluttershy]
The one who is awesomest cool
[Rainbow Dash]
Just like me
Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
So a contest we will see
[Rainbow Dash]
Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
In the world for me!
[Fluttershy]
May the games
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
Begin!
Rainbow Dash: And may the best pet win!
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle]
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle] Shh! [to assembled animals] So! You all think you've got what it takes to be my pet, do ya? Well, we'll just see about that! If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers. This competition isn't for the weak. You'd better be prepared to step up your game! You call that flapping?! That's better. There's only room on Team Dash for one of you, and my future pet needs to be able to take it to the extreme! Any questions?
Applejack: I got one. Does she understand what a pet really needs?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection– Ugh! And breath mints!
Fluttershy: Now, you just pay attention, and try your best, and–
Rainbow Dash: Seriously, Fluttershy! The turtle? What did you bring that thing here for?
Fluttershy: Technically he's a tortoise, and he's always dreamed of being somepony's pet. He just wants a chance to compete, he won't get in the way. You won't even know he's here.
Rainbow Dash: No.
Fluttershy: Oh, just let him try.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, but there's no way he can possibly keep up. Look at him!
Fluttershy: It won't hurt to let him try.
Rainbow Dash: But–
Fluttershy: Just let him try?
Rainbow Dash: Grrgh, ugh, fine! But don't say I didn't warn you! This isn't a game, you know! Alright, now these games will determine which one of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a pet. Speed. Agility. Guts. Style. Coolness. Awesomeness. And radicalness.
Twilight Sparkle: Aren't those all the same thing?
Rainbow Dash: You would think that, Twilight. And that's why you would never qualify to be my pet.
Rainbow Dash: Speed! On your marks...
Duck: [quack]
Rainbow Dash: Get set... [blows whistle] Sorta speedy... not speedy... pretty speedy... could be more speedy...
Falcon: [cries]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! That's speed!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [to the tortoise] Tsk-tsk. That's just sad.
Rainbow Dash: Agility! Sorta agile... not agile... pretty agile... could be more agile... [to the tortoise] Wanna know the opposite of agility? That.
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, baby, now that's what I call agility! [sing-song voice] Don't leave me hangin'! I'm gonna have to shave a point off your score for that.
Rainbow Dash: Okay! Which of you has the guts to try and get Opal's favorite toy away from her?
Opalescence: [growls]
[toy squeaks]
Rainbow Dash: Now that takes guts!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rainbow Dash: Style! Any pet of mine's gotta look good, 'cause you gotta make me look good!
Rainbow Dash: Coolness!
[owl hoots]
Rainbow Dash: Sorta cool.
[duck quacks]
Rainbow Dash: Not cool.
[bat cries]
Rainbow Dash: Pretty cool.
[toucan cries]
Rainbow Dash: Could be cooler.
[wasp buzzing]
Rainbow Dash: Not what I had in mind. I can't hear you!
[tortoise coughs]
Rainbow Dash: Eugh.
[eagle cries]
Rainbow Dash: Now that's a cool sound!
Rainbow Dash: [to bat] Sorta awesome. [to toucan] Not awesome. [to flamingo] Could be more awesome. [to owl] Ho ho ho, yeah, that is awesome! [to tortoise] Uh, you did that already. That's pretty much all you can do, huh?
[My Little Pony theme song plays on glasses]
[bat screeches]
[glasses shatter]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! That was truly awesome! But I'm afraid this is the radicalness competition, so I'm gonna have to take some points off.
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] Listen, turtle...
Fluttershy: Tortoise.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever! You've had your fun, but I think you and I both know who made the cut and who didn't.
[turtle croaks]
Rainbow Dash: You didn't.
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: I mean... 'A' for effort and everything, you gave it your best shot, maybe I've got a gold star sticker around here somewhere you can have, but, seriously, go home. You're starting to creep me out. So, anyway, you're all outstanding competitors, but there can only be one of you who's number one. So the final tie-breaking contest is going to be... pause for dramatic effect... a race against... me! Through Ghastly Gorge! Dun dun dun!
[eagle cries]
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit.
[Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" plays]
Rainbow Dash: Actually, Ghastly Gorge isn't scary. It's fun. Heh. I've flown through it a million times myself, so obviously I'll be at the front of the pack. But whichever of you make it across the finish line with me will have proven you can keep up with me, and will have earned the honor and glory of getting to be my pet! Ready? Setgo!
Rainbow Dash: Woo-hoo! Haha! Try to keep up!
Rainbow Dash: Can't catch me, ha-ha!
[wind whistling]
Rainbow Dash: [whistles]
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, slowpokes! You wanna win, don't ya?
Rainbow Dash: Oh! I forgot to tell you! Watch out for the Quarray eels! They don't like it when you get too close to their nests, like this. Whoa.
[Quarray eels growl]
Rainbow Dash: Easy, peasy, one-two-threesy! Right, guys?
[rock cracking]
Rainbow Dash: AVALANCHE! Hey! Whoaaaa!
Rainbow Dash: C'mon... No! Wait! Come back! Don't leave me! I'm the one who's supposed to win! I don't wanna end up stuck here... forever! Oh no, nonono, th-this can't be happening. Forever is way too long to be trapped in Ghastly Gorge. I mean, it's like, forever! Somepony! Anypony! Help me!
Rainbow Dash: Wahoo! My prayers have been answered! Oh, thankyouthankyoutha– You?! Oh no! Now I'm not only going to be stuck here forever, I'm gonna be stuck here forever with the most annoying turtle in the world! Gyh, I'm doomed. DOOMED, I tell you!
[ponies cheering]
[cheering slowly dies down]
Twilight Sparkle: Hm, something's not right here.
Fluttershy: Where's Rainbow Dash?
Applejack: Great galloping galoshes! There's been an avalanche in there!
Spike: Rainbow!
[ponies' concerned chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Look!
Fluttershy: It's the turtle!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: Tortoise!
Fluttershy: Oh, whatever...
Twilight Sparkle: And he's carrying something on his back...
Pinkie Pie: Ahh! It's Rainbow Dash! It's her! It's Rainbow!
[ponies cheering]
[cheering slowly dies down again]
Fluttershy: Maybe we'd better go meet him halfway.
[ponies cheering]
Spike: Huh. Way to go, little guy!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, thank goodness you're not hurt, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: Just my pride.
Rarity: I certainly hope all of this dreadful dust was worth it! [sneezes]
Applejack: It sure was, if'n it means Rainbow gets to have her own little critter just like the rest of us from now on.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... thanks. What you did... I owe you one.
Fluttershy: Rainbow! Your new pet is over here waiting for you!
[ponies awing]
Rainbow Dash: Oh... Right... Yeah... That.
Spike: What's the matter?
Pinkie Pie: You got your perfect pet, right?
Fluttershy: The best of the best like you wanted, remember? It can fly and it's not a squirrel! Should we sing about it again?
Applejack: A falcon sure looks good on ya, Rainbow.
[camera clicks]
[tortoise yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Easy, fella. Nothing to be afraid of. The falcon sure does looks cool... He's absolutely everything I wanted in a pet. [sigh]
Fluttershy: Yay?
Rainbow Dash: But I said whoever crosses the finish line with me gets to be my pet.
Pinkie Pie: You did! You did say that! She did say that, that was the rule!
Rainbow Dash: And the only racer who crossed the finish line with me was the one who stopped to save me when I needed help. The tortoise!
[falcon cry]
Twilight Sparkle: But what about the–
Applejack: Wouldja look at that? He even smiles slow.
Everypony: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Spike, take a letter. Dear Princess Celestia,
I used to think that the most important traits to look for in a pet, or any best friend, were all physical competitive abilities. But now I can see how short-sighted and shallow that was.
Opalescence: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: Today I learned what the most important quality really is. A certain kind of spirit. A stick-to-it-ive-ness. A never give up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner. And this tortoise has it.
Twilight Sparkle: Tenacity.
Rainbow Dash: Gesundheit. You just can't stop that little guy. He's like a... like a... Tank!
Fluttershy: But Rainbow! You didn't want a pet that couldn't fly because it would keep you grounded and hold you back, remember?
Rainbow Dash: Hmm...
[ponies cheering and talking to their pets]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. C'mon, Tank! We're gonna be late for our very first Pony Pet Playdate!
[music]
[credits]

The Mysterious Mare Do Well

[ponies chattering]
Scootaloo: Attention, everypony! Attention! The official Rainbow Dash Fan Club will come to order. Let's get right down to our first order of business. I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared the most awesome pony in Ponyville.
Snails: I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word 'awesome' in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash.
[ponies agreeing]
Snips: I object!
[ponies gasp]
Snips: I think the word 'awesome' is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better! I motion that we declare her the most stupendous pony!
Scootaloo: 'Stupendous'? Is that the best you've got? I motion that we declare her... wonderiffic!
Snips: Astonishing!
Scootaloo: Breathtaking!
Snips: Astounding!
Scootaloo: Bedazzling!
Rainbow Dash: What about super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?
[ponies agreeing]
Scootaloo: All in favor of declaring Rainbow Dash the most 'super-ultra-extra-uh-whatever you said' pony in all of Ponyville, say 'aye'!
Fan club: Aye! [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [giggles]
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] What a beautiful day. There's nothing like a dip in the clouds to make a Pegasus feel super relaxed.
Aura: Help! Help! Help! Help!
Rainbow Dash: Looks like my sky swim will have to wait! I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm here to rescue you!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Wow. What's with this crowd? Uh, thanks, everypony. It was really no big deal.
Aura: To me it was! You're my hero, Rainbow Dash!
[ponies cheering]
Scootaloo: That Rainbow Dash sure is something.
Snips and Snails: Something special.
"Millie": [screams]
Cream Puff: [crying]
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!
[crowd gasps]
Rainbow Dash: She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!
[ponies cheering]
[cameras clicking]
Scootaloo: There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe Rainbow Dash's awesomeness.
Twilight Sparkle: I can think of a few new words.
Applejack: And I bet 'modest' is not one of them.
[ponies cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: No, but she is kinda awesome.
[elderly ponies chattering]
[splintering wood]
Rainbow Dash: Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!
[elderly ponies screaming]
[ponies cheering]
Pony 1: We'd be lost without you!
Pony 2: You're our hero, Rainbow Dash!
Crowd: Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I can't hear you!
Crowd: Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!
Twilight Sparkle: Call me silly, but I think this whole hero thing might be going to Rainbow Dash's head.
Pinkie Pie: You may be right...silly.
Rainbow Dash: And then I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my middle name. Rainbow 'Danger' Dash. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.
Spike: That day.
Applejack: Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely arrogant ever since.
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack. How'd you like to be immortalized as my friend?
Applejack: Immorta-what?
[camera clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you taking notes?
Spike: Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!
Twilight Sparkle: Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written by the pony they are about.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] Spike's a ghost!
Rainbow Dash: ...Anyway. Spike here writes down everything I say. Don't you, Spike?
Spike: Don't... you... Spike. Got it!
Rainbow Dash: This way, I can stay focused on performing those acts of bravery that nopony else has the guts to perform. Yep, it takes guts. But it also takes brains. And sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero is surely not for everypony, but I'm up to the challenge.
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] There you go.
"Lemon Daze": Someday, I wanna be just like you!
Rainbow Dash: Aim high, kid, but don't aim for the impossible.
Cherry Berry: [screams]
[ponies gasp]
Cherry Berry: Help! Help!
Snips: Uh, don't you think you should go and help?
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Yeah, yeah. I've got a good ten seconds to spare. Just a couple more.
Spike: The tension is unbearable. Will Rainbow Dash make it on time?
[ponies cheering]
Pony: Holy turnips, that pony came outta nowhere!
Daisy: I've never seen such bravery in all my life!
Mayor Mare: That's right! Ponyville has a new hero. A mysterious mare that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero 'The Mysterious Mare Do Well'!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!
[ponies screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow–
Globe Trotter: Excuse me, uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine! Picky, picky. Whoaaaa! Aah!
[ponies cheering]
"Wisp": Oh, thank you, Mare Do We– e...
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe it. Mare Do Well is stronger than me? Well, a hero is more than just muscle, and she's gonna learn that the hard way.
[jackhammer and drills]
Crafty Crate: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Never fear, your friendly neighbor– Whoa!
[building creaking]
[crashing]
Rainbow Dash: Never fear– Uh! I'm coming! Hold on! Whoa!
Jack Hammer: Look!
Crafty Crate: [cheers]
"Jim Beam": Look out for the– Watch out for falling– On your left! Agh! Your other left!
Rainbow Dash: Here ya go, safe and sound.
[crash]
"Jim Beam": [faints]
Rainbow Dash: Well, Mare Do Well, or should I call you Mare Do Slow? You're gonna have to pick up the pace if you wanna compete with me, 'cause I move like lightning.
"Rivet": Actually, she saved all of us! We owe her our lives!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [growls] Okay. She's strong, fast, and somehow knows what's gonna happen ahead of time. I've gotta step up my game.
[water rushing]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] If the dam breaks, the whole town will be flooded! Looks like Ponyville needs a hero! Easy peasy.
[stone cracking]
Rainbow Dash: My game is officially back on. If only somepony were here to pat me on the back. Eh, guess I'll have do it myself– [yelps] [screams] Help! [spits] Help! You?! I suppose you want me to thank– You gotta be kidding me...
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Lemme get this straight. She's strong, she's agile, and she's magic? Ughhh! How do I compete with that? Wait a minute. I do have a leg up on her. And that leg is... wings! Hah! Take that, Mare Do Well!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, for the love of Pete.
Applejack: Gotta hand it to the girl, that Mare Do Well sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.
Twilight Sparkle: I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam. Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
Fluttershy: She really cares about everypony's safety.
Rarity: Have you seen her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.
Applejack: And she's modest and humble. She lets her actions speak for themselves. Gotta admire that.
Rainbow Dash: I don't have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!
Spike: She's... great.
Rainbow Dash: I didn't say that.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like somepony's jealous.
Rainbow Dash: Who, me?
Spike: Rainbow Dash is jealous.
Rainbow Dash: Don't write that, Spike!
[others laughing]
Spike: Correction: Rainbow Dash is very jealous.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good– no, that I'm a better hero than Mare Do Well!
Rainbow Dash: Huh, no sign of trouble here. Darn it.
Rainbow Dash: Buses and baby carriages are always careening down this hill. Where is an out-of-control vehicle when you need one?!
Rainbow Dash: Rrgh, there are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere! How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe? [gasps] Hold it right there, Granny Smith! You don't have to pretend with me. I can see that you're in way over your head here.
Granny Smith: Eh, what's that?
Rainbow Dash: You're putting on a brave face, I get it. But you don't have to anymore. I'll help you cross the street!
Granny Smith: [grunting] Actually, I can cross the street just fine!
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry! You're in extremely... capable... hooves!
Granny Smith: [panicked grunts] Back off!
Rainbow Dash: [pants] Here we are! Safe and sound. A good and heroic citizen deserves a little recognition, don't you think?
Granny Smith: I didn't wanna cross the street in the first place! [complaining and squeaking]
Amethyst Star: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Somepony's in trouble!
Amethyst Star: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: You'd better let me handle this, ma'am! For your own safety, I must ask you to stand back!
Amethyst Star: Oh, brother.
Rainbow Dash: [cracks neck] [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Ta-da!
Amethyst Star: Uh... thanks.
Rainbow Dash: How would you describe what I just did? Would you say I was amazing?
Amethyst Star: Aren't you milking this a bit?
Rainbow Dash: Please, just answer the question! Was I, or was I not, amazing?
Amethyst Star: Oh, you're amazing alright. An amazingly–
Rainbow Dash: Oh, look!
[lawnmower rattling]
Rainbow Dash: Another great feat of heroism! I have just saved that grass!
"Pine Breeze": From what?
Rainbow Dash: From weeds! Weeds that were attempting to eat this lawn!
Liza Doolots: Lame...
Pony: Whatever.
Rainbow Dash: Aww, who am I kidding?
[thundercloud rumbles throughout]
Rainbow Dash: All anypony talks about is Mare Do Well this and Mare Do Well that! What about me? How could everypony forget about me so easily? I mean... have I changed? Same sleek body. Same flowing mane. Same spectacular hooves. Nope, I'm still awesome. They're wrong. But... then... why am I all alone? I hate being all alone.
Scootaloo: Hey, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I knew it! No need to apologize, squirt. Anypony could make that mistake.
Scootaloo: Mistake? What mistake?
Rainbow Dash: Wait a minute. Why are you here?
Scootaloo: To invite you to join us! We're heading off to the thank you parade for Ponyville's greatest hero, Mare Do Well.
Rainbow Dash: No! No way! Can't you see I-I wanna be alone? I love being alone.
Scootaloo: Oh, okay. See you later then.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right, like I'm gonna thank her. [mockingly] Thank you, Mare Do Well, whoever you are, for ruining e– [normal] Hey, squirt! Wait up!
Mayor Mare: Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mare Do Well!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: The mysterious Mare Do Well, huh?
[ponies gasp]
Rainbow Dash: So what are you hiding? Let's see how mysterious you are without that mask!
Mare Do Well: [whistles]
Rainbow Dash: What the hay?
Mare Do Well: [whistles]
Rainbow Dash: Grrr... I got you now! Alright, Miss Mysterious! Mystery... solved! [yelps] P-p-p-p- Pinkie?! Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- huh?! Twilight?! Applejack?! There were three of you?!
Twilight Sparkle: Yup, we all played Mare Do Well at different times.
Applejack: I stopped the carriage bus with these babies, Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee.
Pinkie Pie: I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense. [twitches]
[flowerpot shatters]
Cherry Berry: Sorry!
Pinkie Pie: It's alright.
Twilight Sparkle: And I used my magic to fix the dam.
Fluttershy: Ooh, ooh! And I did the flyby afterwards.
Rarity: I made the costumes. Fabulous if I do say so myself!
Rainbow Dash: I don't understand. Why? Don't you want me to be a hero?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course we want you to be a hero.
Applejack: But a real hero doesn't brag.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I guess I did start to brag a little.
Other main cast: A little?!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, a lot.
Twilight Sparkle: Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But...
Applejack: ...Rubbin' them in everypony's face is not.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake. [slurp]
Applejack: I think we're getting off topic here.
Twilight Sparkle: What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.
Rainbow Dash: Ohhhh. That makes loads more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mare Do Well.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Princess Celestia.
Spike: Already got it covered. As your ghost writer, I've already penned a letter to the Princess.
Rainbow Dash: That's nice of you, Spike, but I really wanna write this letter myself.
Spike: Aww, come on, I wrote the whole thing already!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, let's hear it.
Spike: [clears throat] Dear Princess Cel-
Rainbow Dash: Look out! It's a real ghost!
Pinkie Pie and Spike: [yelping and screaming]
Others: [laughing]
[music]
[credits]

Sweet and Elite

Rarity: [gasp] Here? I get to stay here?
Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle said you were coming to Canterlot for a visit, and asked if I might accommodate you.
Opalescence: [purring]
Rarity: Thank you so much, Princess.
Princess Celestia: You're very welcome.
Rarity: No, really. This is so nice of you.
Princess Celestia: It's nothing, really.
Rarity: Oh, but it isn't nothing, it's everything! I, I just don't know what to say but thank you, thank you! [kiss] Thank you! [kiss] Thank you! [kiss] Thank you, thank you, thank you! [more kisses]
Princess Celestia: You are very we–
Rarity: Thank you!
Bags Valet: [pant] Your luggage, mademoiselle?
Princess Celestia: I'll leave you to get settled.
Bags Valet: Your highness.
Princess Celestia: Enjoy your stay.
Rarity: Thank you!
Bags Valet: [straining] Where would you like me to put these?
Rarity: That's perfect.
[theme song]
Rarity: Opal, do you know what I love about Canterlot? [sip] Ahh. Everything! I may have been born in Ponyville, but I am a Canterlot pony at heart. [sip] Now, I know that we are here to pick up some fabrics for the shop, but Twilight was such a dear to get me that suite at the castle, I simply must make her something to express my gratitude. Hmm... ooh! An outfit for her birthday party this weekend! Perfect! Don't you just love it here, Opalescence? [sip]
Jet Set: Please excuse our interruption. I'm Jet Set, and this is my wife Upper Crust. We saw you from across the cafe and just had to find out...
Upper Crust: ...Where did you get that simply marvelous chapeau?
Rarity: Oh, this old thing? Oh, it's just something I–
Hayseed Turnip Truck: Rarity! Hey, Rarity! Whoo! It's me, Hayseed Turnip Truck! We met at the big hoedown in Ponyville last month?
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course... how are you?
Hayseed Turnip Truck: Good! Real good!
[crash]
Jet Set and Upper Crust: Hmm...
Jet Set: You're from... Ponyville?
Rarity: Well, yeah, yes, but–
Hayseed Turnip Truck: She sure is! She's a real big-time fancy pants dressmaker there! Probably made that real purty thing she's got on her head!
Upper Crust: I thought it looked a little country.
Jet Set: I told you it wasn't something you could get here in Canterlot, dear.
Jet Set and Upper Crust: Hmph!
Hayseed Turnip Truck: Well, they seemed real nice.
Rarity: [disappointed sigh]
Rarity: "Looked a little country". "Not something you can get in Canterlot". I'll show you something worthy of Canterlot!
Rarity: [panting] I have to get started right away. This new design is very ambitious, and I've already written to Twilight to let her know she'll have something beyond fabulous to wear to her party. [gasps] Fancy Pants!
Fancy Pants: I say, that's one way to make an introduction.
Rarity: Oh, goodness, I am so sorry. I didn't see you there. I've just got so many bags and I was trying to get back to my suite at the castle and–
Fancy Pants: You're staying at the castle?
Rarity: Wh– The Princess invited me to stay in one of the suites.
Fancy Pants: You know the Princess?
Fleur de Lis: Hmm, a pony with expensive tastes, I see.
Rarity: Oh, it's for an ensemble I'm making for a friend. Her birthday is in a few days. [pants] Again, I am really sorry I bumped into you.
Fancy Pants: I'm not! Heheh, you are obviously somepony worth bumping into! Listen, I have a VIP box reserved at the Wonderbolts Derby this afternoon. Would you, would you be so kind as to join me and a few of my companions there?
Rarity: Me?
Fancy Pants: But of course, my dear.
Rarity: Well, I'm, uh, ah- no- sure.
Fancy Pants: We'd love to see you there, uh...?
Rarity: Rarity.
Fancy Pants: Rarity.
Rarity: Pro: Seeing the Derby from a VIP box is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Con: Going to the Derby cuts into the amount of time I have to finish Twilight's outfit. Pro: Fancy Pants is the most important pony in Canterlot. His stamp of approval could mean big things for me here. Con: Twilight's party might not be as sophisticated as the Derby, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't put all of my energy into creating her birthday ensemble. My Ponyville friends will appreciate my hard work more than anypony. I'd hate to let them down. And I won't. Opal, I am going to the Wonderbolts Derby as a guest of Fancy Pants! [excited giggling]
Rarity: Pardon me. 'Scuse me, 'scuse me!
Fancy Pants: Rarity, jolly good to see you! So glad you could make it.
[ponies chattering]
Fancy Pants: Everypony, this is Rarity. She's staying at Canterlot Castle.
Ponies: [gasp, confused chattering]
Announcer: Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the Wonderbolts Derby! The competitors are taking their places at the starting line, and the race will begin momentarily!
Fancy Pants: I'll be rooting for Rapidfire, of course. He's sure to take home the grand prize.
[ponies agreeing]
Rarity: I don't think he has a chance against Fleetfoot.
[ponies gasp]
[fanfare]
[whistle]
Announcer: And it's Fleetfoot by a nose!
Rarity: [cheers]
Fancy Pants: Bravo, Rarity! I say, how did you know Fleetfoot would be victorious?
Rarity: My friend Rainbow Dash talks about her all the time. She says what Fleetfoot lacks in size, she makes up for in speed.
Silver Frames: And who is this 'Rainbow Dash'?
Rarity: Uh... [gulps] Why... she's... she's the... the Wonderbolts' trainer, of course.
Fancy Pants: Staying at Canterlot Castle, and she knows the Pegasus training the Wonderbolts. I told you all this was an important pony.
[ponies chattering]
Fancy Pants: Three cheers for Rarity, my new favorite party guest!
Ponies: Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!
Rarity: ...And then I said, "Puh-lease, that isn't a hat, darling, that's a natural disaster that somehow landed atop your head!"
[ponies laughing]
Silver Frames: Oh, you are a delight, Rarity, an absolute delight. You simply must attend my art gallery opening this evening. [laughs]
Rarity: Oh, I'd love to, but I–
Golden Gavel: And let's not forget my charity auction tomorrow morning.
Rarity: Well, that sounds wonderful, but I–
Swan Song: And of course there's a seat for you at my dinner party tomorrow night.
Rarity: I'm flattered, really. It's just I have a project I really need to get started on, and-
Silver Frames: Oh, but Rarity! I may as well close down the whole gallery if you can't attend!
Golden Gavel: My auction is for charity, dear. For charity...
Swan Song: And my dinner party will be a disaster if you don't come.
Rarity: ...of course I'll be there.
Silver Frames: Wonderful!
Golden Gavel: Oh, thank goodness!
Swan Song: Disaster averted!
Rarity: Looks like we'll be spending a few more days here, Opalescence. Turns out bumping into Fancy Pants like that was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Of course, finishing Twilight's dress in time for her birthday party is still my top priority, but I can't possibly disappoint the Canterlot elite by rejecting their invitations now, can I?
[Rarity]
I'll be the toast of the town, the girl on the go
I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know
I'll be the one to watch, the girl in the flow
I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know
Becoming as popular as popular can be
Making my mark, making my mark in high society
I'm the belle of the ball, the star of the show, yeah
I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know
See how they hang on every word that I speak
My approving glance is what they all seek
I'm the creme de la creme, not just another Jane Doe
I'm the type of pony every pony should know
At home, at the opera, on a fancy yacht
Becoming the talk, the talk of all of Canterlot
I'm the creme de la creme, not just another Jane Doe, yeah
I'm the type of pony every pony, every pony should know
Because I'm the type of pony
Yes, I'm the type of pony
Yes, I'm the type of pony every pony should know
Rarity: Oh, I hope I haven't forgotten anything.
Bags Valet: Me... too...
Rarity: We'd better get going.
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: I must get back to Ponyville with enough time to finish Twilight's ensemble.
[letterbox clicks]
Rarity: For me? Dearest Rarity, your presence is requested at the Canterlot garden party tomorrow afternoon. Yours, Jet Set and Upper Crust! [gasps] The Canterlot garden party! Why, next to the Galloping Gala that is the premier event in Canterlot! [squeals] Oh, but if I go, I'll miss Twilight's birthday... But if I don't go, my new reputation in Canterlot as a Very Important Pony might be ruined! I might never be invited to another high society event again! Friend's birthday... Very Important Pony... [winces] It's just too important. [takes deep breath] My dear Twilight, I am afraid I won't be able to make it to your birthday party tomorrow, because... because poor Opal is quite ill, and she is in no condition to make the long journey back to Ponyville! I do hope you understand. Your friend, Rarity.
Bags Valet: I suppose this means you don't need me to bring down your bags?
Rarity: No. But, I will need some help unpacking them.
Bags Valet: Oomph!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: What do you think? Too much? You're right. Too little. Ah, garden party, here I come!
Rest of main cast: Surprise!
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: [fades in] Swoosh! And right before she hit the ground, shoom, she– Hi again!
Rarity: What are you– how did you– Why are you–
Applejack: Listen to her. She's so excited to see us, she can hardly talk.
Rarity: What I mean to say is, what are you all doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: When I got your letter saying you were stuck in Canterlot, I asked Pinkie Pie if it wouldn't be too much trouble to move my birthday party here, so you wouldn't have to miss it!
Pinkie Pie: Balloons are super easy to pack.
[balloons deflate]
Rarity: Wow... First you get me a suite at Canterlot Castle and now this. I don't know what to say, Twilight.
Rainbow Dash: How about you start by saying what you're doing in that fancy getup?
Rarity: This? Uh- well, I- I always put on something a little fancy when Opal's feeling under the weather... Cheers her right up. [laughs nervously]
Fluttershy: Oh, poor Opal. Where is the sick darling?
Rarity: Oh, uhh, she's... Hold on a minute.
[doors slam]
Rest of main cast: Huh?
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: I am so sorry about this.
[running water]
Opalescence: [more yowling]
Rarity: She's resting on the bed.
Fluttershy: Poor baby.
Opalescence: [more yowling]
Fluttershy: She looks awful.
Opalescence: [growls]
Twilight Sparkle: Is... that my dress?
Rarity: Yes.
Twilight Sparkle: It's so... simple. So practical. So me! It's the perfect dress for my birthday party! I love it!
Rarity: [sighs in relief] You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that.
Twilight Sparkle: When I told the Princess that I was moving the party to Canterlot, she was kind enough to offer us the Canterlot Castle ballroom!
Pinkie Pie: Isn't it fancy pants?
Rarity: Fancy Pants?! Where?! Ahh, I mean, where did you find the time to put up all these decorations? Ha-ha. [chirp]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I never leave home without my party cannon!
[explosion]
[party blowers blow]
Pinkie Pie: Ta-da!
Twilight Sparkle: I thought about having my birthday outside, but they're having another party on the castle grounds today.
[ponies chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Let's party!
[swing music]
Rarity: Mmh... No reason I can't at least make an appearance...
[classical music]
Rarity: I'm here!
Upper Crust: Darling, I'm so glad you made it.
Fancy Pants: Rarity! So happy to see you here.
Rarity: I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Fancy Pants: [sniffs] I say, what is that scent you're wearing? It smells like... [sniffs] Is that cake frosting?
Rarity: ...Yes, I always dab a little frosting behind my ears before I go out. [laughs nervously] After all, who doesn't like the smell of cake frosting?
Fancy Pants: I know I do.
Upper Crust: Mm-hmm.
Rarity: [sighs] Well, all this talk about cake has made me hungry. Think I'll go and see what's on the hors d'oeuvre table. If you'll excuse me...
Fancy Pants and Upper Crust: [starting conversation]
Fancy Pants and Upper Crust: [continuing conversation]
Rarity: [chokes]
Rarity: I think I left the bathwater running in my suite.
Rarity: I really should go check on Opal...
Rarity: Is that Princess Celestia?
Rarity: [hushed] I need to use the little fillies' room!
Twilight Sparkle: [blows party trumpet]
Rarity: Can I get anypony more punch?
Rarity: I... have to go to do the... thing with the... stuff... you know...? [trails off]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what's with the croquet mallet?
Rarity: [muffled] What croquet mallet?
Rainbow Dash: Duh, the one in your mouth!
Rarity: [laughs nervously] Ooh, that croquet mallet. I- well I, you know, the truth is... the truth is...
Twilight Sparkle: Were you at that other party in the garden?
Rarity: I, I...
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, I'm surprised at you.
Rarity: Twilight let me explain! I–
Twilight Sparkle: I hadn't realized you were such a savvy businesspony!
Rarity: You must understand! I–
Twilight Sparkle: All of those ponies look so posh. And with the Grand Galloping Gala coming up, I bet you could totally get some of them to buy your dresses. Very smart!
Rarity: Woo, wwwhy yes, I-I didn't want you to think I was being rude, so that's exactly the reason I didn't tell you. The one and only reason. [laughs nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well, you didn't have to do that. You should totally go over there and mingle!
Rarity: Twilight, you really are the best friend a pony could ever ask for. I don't know why I ever thought you wouldn't understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Understand what?
Rarity: Nothing. See you girls later!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, wait up! We're your friends! I'm sure they won't mind if we check out the party too! C'mon, you guys! Let's show them how to party Ponyville style!
Rarity: Oh no!
[explosion]
[party blowers blow]
[birds chirping]
Pinkie Pie: Mmm!
Applejack: How come y'all aren't doing any gardening? This is a garden party, isn't it?
Rarity: [sip]
Jet Set: Can you believe what that pony is wearing?
Upper Crust: It's just so plain.
Rarity: [nervous laugh] Yeah.
Fancy Pants: Excuse me, might I ask where you got your ensemble?
Twilight Sparkle: Why, yes! Yes, you may. A very, very close friend of mine from Ponyville made it for me.
Rarity: [spits]
Fancy Pants: Ponyville? You don't say?
Twilight Sparkle: I do say. Her name is–
Rarity: Fancy Pants! Come with me! I'd like to show you this, er, thing that's over there. On the other side of the room.
Fancy Pants: In a moment, my dear. This lovely filly from Ponyville was just about to tell me who made her charming dress.
Rarity: That dress? Oh come now, who cares, it's just a plain old–
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, don't be so modest! This dress you made is beautiful!
[ponies gasp]
[glass shattering]
Twilight Sparkle: We all think so!
Fancy Pants: [to Rarity] You know these ponies?
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: Yes. Yes, I do know them. They may not be as sophisticated as some of you Canterlot ponies, but they are my best friends. And they are without a doubt the most important ponies I know.
Jet Set: Important ponies? These ruffians?
Upper Crust: Don't make me laugh!
Jet Set and Upper Crust: [laughing]
Fancy Pants: I, for one, find them charmingly rustic.
[ponies gasp]
Fancy Pants: And I think the dress you made for your friend is lovely. [chuckle] I dare say every mare in Canterlot will be wanting one.
Upper Crust: Oh, I'd like to place my order right now.
Jet Set: I think you should get two.
Fancy Pants: Er, yes, now then. How about you introduce me to your friends?
Rarity: With pleasure!
Rarity: Dear Princess Celestia,
I wanted to tell you about the important lesson I learned during my visit.
Princess Celestia: Now that I would like to hear.
Rarity: I learned that no matter where you go in life, you should never forget that you are the product of your home and your friends. And that is something always to be proud of, no matter what.
Princess Celestia: Hm, a very valuable lesson to have learned.
Bags Valet: It certainly is! But... might I ask that we hurry things up a bit?! Oh no!
[music]
[credits]

Secret of My Excess

Twilight Sparkle: No distractions. Today is too important. Re-shelving day! Understanding Medieval Equestria goes in Pony History. Modern Spellcasting. That's Classics. The Art of the To-Do List... actually, I kinda wanna read that again.
Spike: [chuckling]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! What are you laughing at?
Spike: This little beauty is my birthday present to myself! It's a fire ruby! I've been aging it for months, and it's almost ripe!
[tuning fork pings]
Spike: [giggles] Hey, you took my advice! Just use the whole floor as one big shelf.
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
[theme song]
Rarity: [muffled] Hellooo? [normal] Anypony home? Twilight? [gasps] Is that a fire ruby?! Huh, that must be at least twenty carats! No inclusions, pristine facets...
Spike: And totally delicious.
Twilight Sparkle: Uhh... if you guys don't mind?
Rarity: Oh, uh, of course. I just came by to see if you had any books on historical fashion... [to Spike] Did you say... delicious?
Spike: Sure did! Next week's my birthday, and this is my birthday dinner.
Twilight Sparkle: Start with this one.
Rarity: Thanks, Twilight. I've got a feeling ruffled taffeta capes are going to make a huge comeback this season, and I want to be ahead of the game... [to Spike] I hope it's as tasty as it is beautiful, Spike. I've never seen anything quite so stunning before.
Spike: Gosh... You really like it, huh?
Rarity: Like it? It's magnificent.
Spike: [sighs] Then you should have it. This beautiful gem was meant to be with you.
Rarity: I don't know what to say... this is so thoughtful. Oh, my little Spikey-wikey! [kisses] Thank you so much!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Spike, that's one of the kindest, most generous things you've ever done. I've never seen Rarity so happy!
Spike: I will never wash this cheek again. [sighs and laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Just about finished, Spike? Everypony will be here soon.
Spike: There. Perfect! Everything looks perfect!
Twilight Sparkle: Not quite everything.
Spike: A washcloth? I don't get it. Ah, no way, Twilight! I said I wasn't gonna wash the cheek that Rarity kissed, and I meant it!
Twilight Sparkle: It's over, Spike! I'm cleaning that cheek!
Spike: [gasps for breath] It's mine! Stop it!
Twilight Sparkle: Never!
Spike: Twilight...!
Pinkie Pie: [blows party hooter] Happy birthday!
[trumpet fanfare]
Pinkie Pie: Party time, woo-hoo!
Spike: Are those... for me?
Applejack: You bet they are, birthday boy.
Fluttershy: Happy birthday, Spike.
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Don't you know you get presents on your birthday?
Spike: Well, actually, this is my first birthday in Ponyville... I usually just get one present... from Twilight. A book.
[sheep bleating]
Rarity: Speaking of presents, this is from my new line of taffeta capes. I'm going to make one for each of you!
Rest of main cast: [Wow, they're great, etc.]
Rarity: I've been inspired by the generosity of my little Spikey-wikey, who gave me this beautiful fire ruby, one of the kindest acts I've ever experienced. Mmm.
Spike: Applejack, I can't thank you enough for this great blanket. I really needed a new one.
Applejack: C'mon, Spike, you already thanked me fifteen times. I'm startin' to get a little embarrassed.
Spike: I know I keep thanking you guys, but I'm just so grateful. I wish this party could last forever.
[balloon pops]
Pinkie Pie: Duh! The party can't last forever 'cause you have to go to Sugarcube Corner, 'cause the Cakes said they have a special surprise for you, 'cause it's your birthday!
Spike: No way!
Pinkie Pie: I said the party couldn't last forever, but it doesn't need to end right now!
[door slams]
Spike: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!
Mr. Cake: There's the dragon of the hour! Happy birthday, Spike!
Spike: Thanks!
Mrs. Cake: When we found out it was your birthday, we couldn't resist trying out a new recipe: sapphire!
Spike: Wow!
Spike: Thank you so much! Man, first I get a bunch of great presents from my best friends, and now an amazing sapphire cupcake! Hohoh, what a day! Whoa! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, Cheerilee!
Cheerilee: That's okay. What's got you so excited?
Spike: [chomps] [muffled] Pinkie Pie told me I should come see the Cakes, so they could give me a cake 'cause it's my birthday today.
Cheerilee: Well, happy birthday, Spike! I wish I had something to give you! Uh... Oh! Here you go!
Spike: Wow, really?
Cheerilee: Sure! Everypony should get fun gifts on their birthday! Have a great birthday, Spike.
Spike: I wish every day was my birthday...
Spike: Pinkie Pie mentions my birthday to the Cakes, and I get a cupcake. I mention it to Cheerilee, and I get this great hat.
[ball bouncing]
Spike: Hmmm, I wonder... Hey there, Lickety Split! That's a pretty cool ball you got there! Did you know it's my birthday?
[ball bouncing]
Spike: [laughs] This is unbelievable! [chuckles] Hey, Junebug! It's my birthday!
Junebug: Happy birthday, Spike.
Spike: Aren't you gonna give me something? You know, like a birthday present?
Junebug: Um, I... I don't have anything.
Spike: Well, how about those flowers? I'll take those–
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Uh, sorry, Junebug, I think Spike might've gotten a little carried away.
Junebug: Uh, no problem... H-Happy birthday, Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing? You're out here demanding gifts now?
Spike: Wow, you're right, Twilight. I don't know what got into me. Thanks for snapping me out of it. I'd better go give Cheerilee her hat back.
Twilight Sparkle: No problem. See you at home later?
Spike: Sounds good! Bye! [chuckles] Who else has a present for 'Spikey-wikey'? [hisses]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, what a rough night's sleep, Spike. I had the weirdest drea–
Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you! Where'd you get all this– [gasps]
[clatter]
Spike: [yawns/hisses] What happened?
Spike: What's happening to me, Twilight?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! Think back to last night. Did something happen? Spike? What did you do after I saw you?
Spike: I went to talk... to...
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: You went to talk to who?
Spike: Oh, um... I don't remember. Hey, can I have that globe? You're not using it, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
[crash]
Spike: What about this book?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I'm worried about you. You're usually not so... grabby!
Spike: My arms aren't usually [voice drops] this long either. What's happening to me?
Twilight Sparkle: [slaps]
Dr. Horse: Well now, what seems to be the problem?
Twilight Sparkle: This is Spike. [slaps] And something's wrong with him. [slaps] He used to be half this size! And he keeps trying to take things that aren't [slaps] his!
Dr. Horse: All right then, let's just have a look see, shall we? Widdle guy not feewing too good? Who's a brave widdle boy, huh? Who's a brave one?
[rushing fire]
Twilight Sparkle: So? What do you think, Doctor?
Dr. Horse: Well, I think I know what the problem is. He's a dragon!
Twilight Sparkle: That's not the problem. He's always been a dragon.
Dr. Horse: Oh. Well, that would explain it. Listen, I don't know anything about dragons, I know about baby ponies. Maybe you should try a vet.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Okay. Thank you, doctor.
Dr. Fauna: Hm, well, I'm flummoxed. Y'bring me a dog, I've got it diagnosed in seconds. Snake even faster, but... to be honest, I've never seen a real live dragon before.
Spike: [snorts]
Dr. Fauna: Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Sit.
Spike: [pants]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks anyway. C'mon, Spike.
[squee, squeaks]
[watch ticking]
[slap]
Zecora: Ooh, he is starting to mature. Of this fact I am quite sure.
Twilight Sparkle: Mature? So he's just... growing up? But that doesn't explain why he keeps grabbing things.
Zecora: A dragon's heart is prone to greed, a steady diet to make growth speed. Then, the resulting bigger size only makes their hunger rise. If this trait should go unchecked, if Spike continues to collect, more growth will certainly occur – he is going to turn into a monster.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] You mean the more things a dragon collects, the bigger and greedier he gets? But how do we stop him before he's completely out of control?
Zecora: If his monstrous ways you wish to impede, you must prevent him from practicing greed.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously]
Apple Bloom: Get away from her, you brute!
Spike: Spike want!
Scootaloo: You're not getting my scooter!
Spike: Spike want!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike! Check out this amazing broom!
Spike: Spike want! [hisses] [roaring]
Twilight Sparkle: [sing-song voice] C'mon, big boy! Look at this incredible broom!
Spike: Spike want!
[crashing]
Twilight Sparkle: Fight all you want, I'm not letting you out! Oh, Spike, I just re-shelved this room!
[door closes]
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] What now?
Applejack: Now who in Ponyville would steal my apples? For that matter, who would steal my leaves?
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, help! Spike's running wild and I need you to lasso him!
Applejack: [laughs] Oh, that's a good one, Twilight. Sweet little Spike, running wild. Ha, what a laugh.
Spike: [stomping]
Applejack: Twilight, get my rope.
Spike: [roars]
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: Help!
Rainbow Dash: Huh? [laughs] Don't tell me! You-you tied yourselves up?
Applejack: Get us out of here right now!
Fluttershy: [screams]
Applejack: [gasps] What was that?
Rainbow Dash: Sounded like Fluttershy to me!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy? Fluttershy?!
Fluttershy: I'm up here!
Twilight Sparkle: What happened?
Fluttershy: I was helping my squirrel friends with a dance step, and all of a sudden, a giant, r-rampaging d-d-d-dragon stormed through!
Twilight Sparkle: That was Spike!
Fluttershy: Spike? But why would Spike steal my chicken coop? He just pulled it out of the ground and filled it with a bunch of apples and stuff!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: That sounded like Pinkie Pie!
Twilight Sparkle: C'mon, girls!
Pinkie Pie: Back! Get back!
Spike: [hisses]
Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
[pie splats]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie! Stop giving him cake!
Pinkie Pie: I'm not giving him cake, I'm assaulting him with cake!
Spike: [grunts]
Pinkie Pie: How dare you take the cake!
Spike: [roars]
[crash]
Spike: [stomping]
Twilight Sparkle: He's completely out of control! Who knows where he'll go next!
Rarity: [hums] Hm, perhaps some more ruffle. [screams]
[air raid siren]
[ponies screaming]
Spike: [roars]
Rarity: [screams]
Spike: [roars]
[splash]
[ponies screaming]
Rarity: Put me down, you brute!
Spike: [roars]
Rarity: How rude.
Fluttershy: Don't worry Rarity, we'll save you!
Rainbow Dash: Put her down, right now!
Fluttershy: I-If you wouldn't mind, that is...
Rainbow Dash: I mean it, dragon boy!
Fluttershy: We'll be ever so grateful if you'd be so kind as to possibly consider...
Rainbow Dash: Drop her, scaly!
Rarity: Hey! I'm– not some– sort of common– fly swatter!
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
[splash]
Rarity: Girls! My cape!
Spike: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Look! The Wonderbolts!
Spike: [growls]
Rarity: [screams]
Spike: [begins to roar]
Rarity: Oh, be quiet. You've got nothing to be proud of. You steal everypony's things, terrorize the town, and use me as a weapon against my own friends! Which, as horrible as it is, I can almost understand because you're a dragon and all. But this! [rips off dress] This is a crime against fashion! Oh no. You are not getting this gemstone! This was given to me by my dear friend Spikey-wikey, the kindest, sweetest, most generous dragon ever. And it is too precious to me to give to a greedy old beast like you!
Spike: [grunts]
Spike (flashback): Here, Rarity, you take it. It would mean even more to see you happy than to eat it myself.
Rarity (flashback): I... I don't know what to say. This is just so generous. [kisses]
Rarity: Oh, what now? I suppose you'll be eating me or something? Spike?! You're the rampaging dragon?!
Rarity and Spike: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: Somepony do something!
Rainbow Dash: On it!
[wind rushing]
Spike: Rarity? I need to tell you something! Just in case we don't make it! I've always sort of had a crush–
Fluttershy: [gasps] We did it! I can't believe we did it!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: All in a day's work.
Rarity: Spike, I just have to tell you how absolutely proud I am of you.
Spike: Proud of me?
Rarity: Yes. It was you who stopped... w-well, you, from destroying Ponyville. You are my hero, Spikey-wikey! [kisses]
Spike: Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned a great lesson about friendship. Well, you might think that it would feel good to get lots and lots of stuff, but it doesn't feel nearly as good as giving something special to somepony you really care about. But I learned that it truly is better to give than to receive, and that kindness and generosity are what lead to true friendship. And that's more valuable than anything in the world. Well... almost anything.
[kiss]
[music]
[credits]

Hearth's Warming Eve

[train whistle]
Twilight Sparkle: We're getting closer!
Rainbow Dash: I can hardly wait!
Fluttershy: I'm so excited, I-I feel like shouting! [softly] Woo-hoo!
Applejack: Hooo-wee! Canterlot, here we come!
Rarity: Oh, I do hope I look festive enough!
Pinkie Pie: There it is! Canterlot!
Main cast: Oooh...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, isn't Canterlot wonderful this time of year?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I wish it was Hearth's Warming Eve every day.
Applejack: There's so much to look at! I feel like my durned eyes are gonna pop right out of my head!
Twilight Sparkle: I have an idea, let's play 'I spy with my little eye' as we walk! I'll go first. I spy... an eight-foot candy cane.
Rainbow Dash: I spy a snowpony!
Pinkie Pie: I spy somepony eating a gingerbread house...
[cash register ringing]
Pinkie Pie: [munching] ...and it's me!
Main cast: [laughs]
[theme song]
[ponies chattering]
[orchestra warming up]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe that Princess Celestia chose us to put on the most important play of the season! Do you guys know what an honor this is? For all of us?
Fluttershy: Oh, I wish she hadn't honored me quite so much... I can't go onstage! I don't want everypony looking at me!
Rarity: Fluttershy, darling, there's nothing to feel nervous about.
Fluttershy: No?
Rarity: Of course not. All across Equestria, ponies are preparing their own pageants for Hearth's Warming Eve in their own towns. It's tradition.
Fluttershy: So you're saying they'll be too busy to come to our play?
Rarity: Well, no. We're in the Canterlot pageant, the biggest, most important production in all of Equestria. A lot of ponies will come to watch us.
Fluttershy: A lot?
Rarity: Hundreds.
Fluttershy: Hundreds?
Rarity: [gasps] Maybe even thousands!
Fluttershy: [yelps]
[wind rushing]
Rarity: Oh, my hair! Applejack? Be a dear and shut those windows, will you?
Rainbow Dash: Aaah! Rain-bow-Dash! Rain-bow-Dash! Aaaah! Thank you, thank you!
Applejack: It's a reenactment of the founding of Equestria. It's not the 'Rainbow Dash Show'.
Rainbow Dash: Well it should be the 'Rainbow Dash Show'! I'm the star!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, you've got to come out of there!
Spike: Curtain in two minutes!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, let me handle this.
Rarity: My hair!
Twilight Sparkle: PINKIE!
Pinkie Pie: [shivers]
Applejack: The Hearth's Warming Eve pageant is about harmony and friendship.
Other main cast: Shut the window!
Spike: [sighs]
[music]
Spike: [with a faux British accent] Once upon a time, long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart... by hatred!
Audience: [gasp]
Spike: [normal voice] I know. Can you believe it? [accent] During this frightful age, each of the three tribes – the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies – cared not for what befell the other tribes, but only for their own welfare. In those troubled times, as now, the Pegasi were the stewards of the weather. But they demanded something in return. Food that could only be grown by the Earth ponies.
Audience: [whispering]
Spike: The unicorns demanded the same, in return for magically bringing forth day and night. And so, mistrust between the tribes festered, until one fateful day, it came to a boil. And what prompted the ponies to clash? 'Twas a mysterious blizzard that overtook the land, and toppled the tribes' precarious peace.
Spike: The normally industrious Earth ponies were unable to farm their land.
[wind blowing]
Spike: The Earth ponies were freezing. The home of the Pegasi fared no better. The Pegasi were hungry. And the unicorns were freezing and hungry. Even the unicorns' magic was powerless against the storm. Each tribe blamed the others for their suffering, and the angrier everypony grew, the worse the blizzard became. And so it was decided that a grand summit would be held to figure out a way to cope with the blizzard.
Spike: Each tribe sent their leaders.
[fanfare]
Spike: Daughter of the unicorn king, Princess Platinum.
[fanfare]
Spike: Ruler of the Pegasi, Commander Hurricane. And lastly...
[fanfare with kazoos]
Spike: ...leader of the Earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead. Perhaps the three tribes could finally settle their differences, and agree on a way to get through this disaster.
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]
Rainbow Dash: All I wanna know is why the Earth ponies are hogging all the food!
Pegasi: [shouting]
Pinkie Pie: Us?! We're not hogging all the food, you are! Oh, wait. You're right. It's us. Well, it's only 'cause you mean old Pegasusususes are making it snow like crazy!
Rainbow Dash: For the hundredth time, it's not us! We're not making it snow! It must be the unicorns! They're doing it with their freaky magic!
Rarity: [gasps] How dare you! Unlike you Pegasi ruffians, we unicorns would never stoop to such a thing! H-m-ph!
Unicorns: Hmph!
Pinkie Pie: Well, if you non-Earths aren't gonna stop using your weirdo powers to freeze us all, then I'm just plum out of ideas.
Rainbow Dash: What a shocker. An Earth pony with no ideas.
Rarity: Commander Hurricane, please cease with the insults!
Rainbow Dash: You're not the boss of me, your royal snootiness!
Rarity: I beg your pardon?! I am a princess! I won't be spoken to that way!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm leaving first!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm first!
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]
Spike: And the blizzard raged on.
[windigos whinnying]
Spike: So the summit of the tribes did not turn out as well as hoped, and the three leaders returned home to lick their wounds, and basically complain.
Rainbow Dash: Atten-tion! Well? Aren't you curious about how it went?
Fluttershy: Oh! Commander Hurricane, sir! How did it go, sir?
Rainbow Dash: Horribly! Those other tribe leaders are so disrespectful! Don't they realize that we are a mighty tribe of warriors, and should not be crossed? We have got to break ranks with those weak foals!
[splat]
Rarity: [shivering] Clover the Clever! I need you!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, your Majesty. Did the other pony tribes see reason as I predicted?
Rarity: Those other tribes are impossible! I, for one, can no longer bear to be anywhere near those lowly creatures. The unicorns are noble and majestic. We will no longer consort with the likes of them!
Applejack: Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door, Chancellor?
Pinkie Pie: Maybe for you, Smart Cookie. But I am a chancellor. I was elected because I know how to think outside the box. Which means [slightly echoes] I can also think inside the chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?
Applejack: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: I didn't think so.
Applejack: Ugh.
Pinkie Pie: Ohmygosh. Hold on to your hooves! I am just about to be brilliant!
Applejack: [under her breath] That'd be a first.
Pinkie Pie: I have decided that the Earth ponies are gonna go it alone!
Applejack: Aw, so you mean the other tribes didn't come around? Shoot... I really thought we could get through to 'em if we–
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry about them. We're the ones with all the food, right?
Applejack: Actually, we're all out.
Pinkie Pie: Fine, then we'll have to go somewhere new where we can grow some new food. And with me as our fearless leader, what could go wrong?
[crump]
Applejack: [under her breath] Where should I start?
Pinkie Pie: The point is...
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: We must find a new land!
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, Private Pansy, let's get a move on! Hup-one, hup-two!
[lightning cracks]
Fluttershy: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Get a hold of yourself, Private! We cannot let anything distract us from the mission at hand. To find, and if necessary, to conquer a new land!
Fluttershy: Conquer, sir?
Rainbow Dash: You never know where enemies might be lurking.
Fluttershy: I don't see any enemies, Commander. Just... snow.
Rainbow Dash: A-ha! What's that?! [fighting noises]
Fluttershy: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Okay. This is getting old.
Rarity: Oh, this is simply taking forever. My hooves are killing me! How long have we been walking for?
Twilight Sparkle: About five minutes, your highness.
Rarity: Oh, I never imagined finding a new land would be so hard. But it'll all be worth it, don't you agree?
Twilight Sparkle: I actually think that the three tribes could've tried harder.
Rarity: Stoooooop!
Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong?
Rarity: That is what's wrong!
[water rushing]
Twilight Sparkle: Your Highness, it's just a stream. We can cross it easily.
Rarity: I refuse to get my gown wet. I have no intention of arriving at my new land looking like a bedraggled Earth pony, or worse yet a rough-and-tumble Pegasus. I, for one, have no intention of stooping down to their level. On the other hand, I have no trouble watching you stoop down.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rarity: And do watch the gown, darling. It's worth more than all of the books in your library.
Pinkie Pie: Yes, yes. This is definitely the right direction.
Applejack: It feels like we're going in circles.
Pinkie Pie: But that's impossible. Are you suggesting that I'm reading the map wrong?
Applejack: Absolutely not, your chancellorness. It's just that there are holes in the map, and–
Pinkie Pie: Of course! How else could I see where I was going?
Applejack: Yeah, uh–
Pinkie Pie: Or talk? I need to be able to talk! I mean, how would we survive if I just suddenly shut up?
Applejack: Heaven forbid that should happen, your chancellorship. Heh. It's just that... the map is also upside down.
Pinkie Pie: I got a newsflash for you, Cookie. The Earth is round. There is no up or down.
Applejack: You're right! It's such a relief to me that you're in charge of this map...
Pinkie Pie: Relief? You don't need relief! If anypony needs relief around here, it's me! I'm a chancellor! I'm a bigshot! You're just my, um... my, uh...
Applejack: Secretary.
Pinkie Pie: Whatever. You take the map, while I enjoy some relief.
Applejack: Yes, Chancellor Puddinghead.
Spike: [accent] And so, each leader encountered obstacles along the way, but eventually, they all arrived in a new and wondrous land. Nopony had ever seen paradise before.
Rainbow Dash: This is the new land we've been searching for!
Fluttershy: What a view... I can see my future house from here.
Rainbow Dash: I proclaim this new land to be... Pegasopolis!
Rarity: I've never seen such jewels! This ruby is dazzling. This whole land is dazzling. I'm double dazzled! [squeals] In the name of the unicorns, I hereby dub this land Unicornia!
Pinkie Pie: The air! The trees! The dirt! This dirt is the dirtiest dirt in the whole dirt world!
Applejack: And fertile, too. Perfect for growing food.
Pinkie Pie: In the name of the Earth ponies, I think I'm gonna call this new place... uh... Dirtville.
Applejack: How about "Earth"?
Pinkie Pie: Earth! Congratulations to me for thinking of it.
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: We found our new home!
Rainbow Dash: I planted my flag first!
Rarity: Did not!
Rainbow Dash: Did too!
Pinkie Pie: I planted mine earlier than first.
Rarity: All of you riffraff are trespassing in Unicornia!
Rainbow Dash: The name is Pegasopolis!
Pinkie Pie: Earth!
Rainbow Dash: Pegasopolis!
Rarity: Unicornia!
Rainbow Dash: I say we fight for the land. May the best pony win!
[wind blows]
Rarity: That's barbaric. Clover the Clever? Throw that brute into the dungeon!
Twilight Sparkle: What dungeon? Look, perhaps if we all calmed down...
Applejack: I agree. Let's all calm down.
Fluttershy: I vote for calm.
Rainbow Dash: I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination, Private! We settle this on the battlefield!
[whack]
Rarity: [laughs]
[whack]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rarity: Who dares throw a snowball at royalty?!
Pinkie Pie: Wait a minute, where'd all this snow come from anyway?
Rainbow Dash: Oh no. Not again.
[wind blowing]
[windigos roaring]
Spike: [accent] And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow and hard feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy. Instead of wonderful, it was wintry! Instead of spectacular, it was snow-tacular! Instead of–
Shoeshine: We get it! Move on!
Spike: [laughs nervously] [clears throat] [accent] Everypony was forced to seek shelter. They searched high and low, but the only shelter for miles was a cold and desolate cave. And, of course, the three tribes had to share it, and nopony was too happy about that.
Rarity: Please, Commander Hothead.
Rainbow Dash: It's Commander Hurricane.
Rarity: [clears throat] Please, Commander, could you just stand back and give me my royal space?
Rainbow Dash: You mean like this, your highness?
Rarity: Indeed not! You see this invisible line?
Rainbow Dash: Private? Outline our territory for everypony to see. See this real, non-invisible line? No unicorns or Earth ponies are allowed to cross it! This is the sovereign territory of Pegasopolis!
Rarity: Clover the Clever?
Pinkie Pie: Uh... Smart Cookie!
Applejack: I know, I know.
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing? Don't go around the rock, go over it! I'm not giving up an inch of territory to the enemy!
Rarity: That rock is clearly on the Unicornia side of the cave, and it belongs to us! [under her breath] Who knows? there could be jewels inside.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] I claim this rock for Pegasopolis!
Rarity: Unhand that rock this instant, you scoundrel!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, look, you found my rock. I've been looking for it everywhere.
Rainbow Dash: Hey! You invaded our territory!
Pinkie Pie: Finders keepers, losers weepers!
Rainbow Dash: That's the last straw!
Rarity: Give me my rock!
Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [arguing]
[wind blowing]
Twilight Sparkle: Look, everypony! The entrance!
[ice cracking]
Rainbow Dash: Great. Now there's no way out! We're trapped!
Rarity: You two deserve this horrible fate. You've done nothing but argue and fight with each other!
Rainbow Dash: You've been fighting too, your Highness.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Worse! I haven't been fighting nearly as much as you!
[ice cracking]
Rarity: How ridiculous! A unicorn never stoops to fighting!
Rainbow Dash: That's just 'cause you wimpy unicorns know you'd never win! Earth ponies are numbskulls!
Rarity: Pegasi are brutes!
Pinkie Pie: Unicorns are snobs!
Applejack, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] [sigh]
[windigo roaring]
Applejack, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Fluttershy: W-W-What is that... thing?
Twilight Sparkle: They must be... windigos!
Applejack and Fluttershy: Windigos?
Twilight Sparkle: My mentor Star Swirl the Bearded taught me about them. They're winter spirits that feed off fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder things become!
Applejack: Then... this is our fault. We three tribes... we brought this blizzard to our home by fightin' and not trustin' each other. Now it's destroyin' this land, too.
Twilight Sparkle: And now our bodies will become as cold as our hearts... all because we were foolish enough to hate.
Fluttershy: Well, I don't hate you... I actually hate Commander Hurricane a lot more than I hate you guys.
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
[windigo snorts]
Fluttershy: Actually, I don't really hate her, I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike her.
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Applejack: Well, I don't hate you guys either.
Twilight Sparkle: Nor do I.
[windigo whinnying]
Applejack: No matter what our differences, we're all ponies.
[ice cracking]
[ice shatters]
Fluttershy: What was that?
Applejack: I didn't know unicorns could do that.
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't either. Nothing like this has ever happened before. But I know it couldn't have been just me. It came from all three of us, joined together, in friendship.
Spike: [accent] All through the night, the three ponies kept the fire of friendship alive by telling stories to one another and by singing songs, which of course became the winter carols that we all still sing today. Eventually, the warmth of the fire and singing and laughing reached the leaders, and their bodies began to thaw. [normal voice] And it even began to melt their hearts.
[rumbling]
Spike: [accent] The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land, and live in harmony ever afterwards. And together, they named their new land...
Main cast: Equestria!
Audience: [cheering]
[Choir]
The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns, we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through)
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end
Audience: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: We should be so honored that Princess Celestia chose us! She must really think we exemplify what good friends are!
[wind blowing]
Rarity: Applejack, I thought you closed all the windows.
Applejack: Don't blame me. Rainbow Dash should've flown up there and shut it. After all, she's got wings.
Rainbow Dash: Why do I always have to do all the high up chores? Why can't Twilight use her magic for a change!
Main cast: [arguing]
[windigo roars]
Rainbow Dash: Y'know what? I got it.
Main cast: [laughing]
[music]
[credits]

Family Appreciation Day

[timberwolves howling]
Applejack: [snoring]
[pots and pans banging, continues under]
Granny Smith: The timberwolves are a-howlin'! The timberwolves are a-howlin'!
[timberwolves howling]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Granny Smith: The zap apples are comin'! The zap apples are comin'!
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh: Yay, the zap apples are comin'!
Granny Smith: That's what I said.
[theme song]
Granny Smith: Hey, silly goose! Quit your gawkin' and move your caboose!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: [grunts]
Apple Bloom: Ready, Granny!
Granny Smith: Ready for what?
Apple Bloom: For makin' zap apple jam!
Granny Smith: Darn tootin'! It's time for some good old-fashioned zap apple jammin'!
Apple Bloom: Yes, ma'am. I can't wait, ma'am!
Granny Smith: [pause] Wait for what?
Apple Bloom: To make zap apple jam with you!
Granny Smith: O'course. Now I been doin' this ever since I was a little pony, so be warned, pickle pear. There's a whole mess o' steps in this process and you gots to get each one of them just right, or no zap apple jam. Take this.
Apple Bloom: Uh, is this one of your gazillion secret herbal ingredients for the zap apple jam?
Granny Smith: That there's a broom. Now get sweepin', pipsqueak! Now while you sweep, I'll get to, uh... something there... umm... Oh, ponyfeathers. Bet I'd forget my mane if it wasn't attached to my head.
[wind blowing]
Big McIntosh: [sniffs]
[electricity crackling]
Applejack: There's the zap apple leaves, right on schedule!
[springing sounds]
Granny Smith: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L-M-N-O-P...
Diamond Tiara: [laughs]
Granny Smith: Well, howdy-doo there, Filthy Rich!
Filthy Rich: Hello, Mrs. Smith. Did I hear right that there's a zap apple harvest coming in a few days?
Granny Smith: Four days, to be exact.
Filthy Rich: Excellent news, and as usual, I get your first hundred jars?
Granny Smith: 'Course, Filthy.
Filthy Rich: Uh, I prefer Rich.
Granny Smith: Oh, and how is your pappy doin'?
Diamond Tiara: Oh, you poor, poor thing, having to make all that zap apple jam with Granny Smith.
Apple Bloom: Actually, I been looking forward to making zap apple jam for years!
Diamond Tiara: I'm not talking about the jam. I'm talking about Granny Smith! You must be sooo embarrassed.
Granny Smith: [muffled] Soup's on!
Apple Bloom: Uh, what do ya mean?
Diamond Tiara: You know, with all her silly ways, how she forgets things, and makes you wear these ridiculous costumes?
Apple Bloom: Granny said that the water needs–
Diamond Tiara: Thank goodness you're here on the farm and not in town where everypony could see you. [hushed] Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.
Apple Bloom: "Silly ways"?
[gong crashing]
Granny Smith: Uh, thank you kindly, Filthy!
Granny Smith: Shake a leg there, slowpoke! We got a gaggle's worth of goods to gather before the harvest. Come on! [singing to the tune of "Skip to My Lou"] Gonna make zap apple jam, hoop-dee-hoo! Gatherin' my goodies now, hoop-dee-hee! Singin' and dancin', diddley-hoo, flippity-floo, my darlin! [voice cracks] They don't make 'em like they used to. [chomp]
Daisy: Hey! You bite it, you buy it!
[bees buzzing]
Granny Smith: [muffled] Whoo! Why, hello, Bea, Beatrice, Beecher! Ooh, you've all been busy little bees, haven't you? [buzzes]
Apple Bloom: Granny, isn't there a less... silly way to get the honey? [gasps]
Granny Smith: Oh, isn't this just precious?
Apple Bloom: Please stop!
Granny Smith: And it is perfect for makin' our zap apple jam!
Apple Bloom: Shh! Stop it, Granny!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: Granny, please! Those ponies over there are watchin' me!
Granny Smith: What? Are those fillies your friends? Hello, Half-pint's friends!
Silver Spoon: Hiii, Granny Smith! Hiii, [mockingly] Half-pint!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
Granny Smith: What dolls. Why, when I was little, ponies didn't come that purdy.
Apple Bloom: Are we done shopping, Granny? 'Cause I'd like to get back to the farm, fast.
Granny Smith: All done, smellybelly. [singing] I got my honey, gooey-goo! Got my honey, gooey-ooh! Got my honey, iddley-hoo!
Fillies: [snoring under]
Filthy Rich: And, by capturing the whole sale market, purchasing in bulk and slashing all prices, we undermine every other gift market in town, and that's how Rich's Barnyard Bargains became the cornerstone of retail in Ponyville.
Diamond Tiara: [clapping]
Cheerilee: Well, thank you, Mr. Filthy—I mean, Mr. Rich. What a wonderful day of sharing! And thank you for being a part of Family Appreciation Day! Now, uh, let's see who will be bringing in a family member for next Monday's Family Appreciation Day. Um... Oh! Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: But Miss Cheerilee. Monday is zap apple harvest day, and Applejack and Big McIntosh will be too busy to come and speak.
Cheerilee: Well, is there anypony else in your family that could–
Diamond Tiara: Miss Cheerilee. Apple Bloom's Granny Smith isn't working harvest. She could come.
Apple Bloom: Oh! But, uh, no, that wouldn't–
Cheerilee: That's a splendid idea, Diamond Tiara! Apple Bloom, you shall bring in Granny Smith on Monday.
[bell rings]
Cheerilee: Have a great weekend, everypony!
Apple Bloom: Granny Smith? Come Monday, I'll be the laughin' stock of Ponyville!
Applejack: I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. I already told you that we just can't take a break from harvest to come to your school. You know what'll happen.
Apple Bloom: I know... After the fifth day, the zap apples disappear...
[wind blows]
[crows cawing]
Granny Smith: Look! The third sign! Right on time! Hot diggity!
[electricity crackling and popping]
Apple family: Wow!
Granny Smith: Alright, you lazy daisies, move your caboose!
Applejack: I'm sorry, Apple Bloom, but don't you fret. Granny Smith's got no shortage of entertainin' stories to tell.
Apple Bloom: I know. That's what I'm worried about.
Apple Bloom: I'll be embarrassed, shamed, disgraced, mortified, humiliate–
Scootaloo: What are you, a dictionary?
Sweetie Belle: Snap out of it. We're here to help you!
Scootaloo: After all, we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We'll figure out a way to postpone your presentation.
Apple Bloom: But how? Ugh! All this worry is makin' me sick!
Sweetie Belle: Sick?
Scootaloo: That's it! C'mon!
Granny Smith: Ten-hut! Now listen here, troops! Now, I don't want any whinin' or cryin' or crackin' under pressure! Do I make myself clear!?
[jar cracking]
Granny Smith: Court-martialed!
[clang]
Scootaloo: Stay still, Apple Bloom! You have to look sick!
[kettle boiling]
Apple Bloom: Aaah! [muffled] Hey, this is hot!
Granny Smith: What in the hayseed is going on in there, silly billy?
Scootaloo: Oh, Granny Smith! We were just about to come get you!
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom's sick! Looks like she might have to stay home all week!
Granny Smith: [mumbles] Ooh! Perfect as a Piccadilly pear!
Apple Bloom: Now what?
Apple Bloom: It's already almost sundown! Tomorrow is Sunday, and I only have one more day to figure something out!
Sweetie Belle: Hey! Look!
Apple Bloom: That's the fourth sign!
[electricity crackling]
Apple Bloom: The zap apples have appeared!
Sweetie Belle: And that gives me an idea!
[bush rustling]
Sweetie Belle: We can't move Family Appreciation Day, so let's move harvest day instead!
Apple Bloom: They don't look... quite ripe.
Scootaloo: Harvesting apples early never hurt an apple.
Apple Bloom: I don't know... Zap apple trees aren't like normal apple trees. They're magic.
[electricity crackling]
Sweetie Belle: How different can they be?
[thud]
[electricity crackling]
Apple Bloom: Well if we can't buck 'em, let's just pick 'em!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sounds of exertion]
[splat]
Apple Bloom: Any other bright ideas?
[knocking]
Cheerilee: Granny Smith, it's Miss Cheerilee! Apple Bloom said you wanted to speak with me?... Hello? Granny Smi–
Apple Bloom: [mimicking Granny Smith] Well hello there! Howdydoo!
Cheerilee: Hi... uh... Granny Smith... is, ugh, everything okay?
Apple Bloom: [mimicking Granny Smith] Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be?
Granny Smith: [snores, continues under]
Apple Bloom: [mimicking Granny Smith] Oh, er, excuse me. Uh, pickles always give me the hiccups! I need to tell you that I can't make the presentation on Monday after all!
Cheerilee: Oh no, is that so?
Apple Bloom: [mimicking Granny Smith] No doubts about it! I gotta shear the flowers and water the sheep! I mean, I have to water the flowers and shear the sheep!
Cheerilee: Oh, well, that's too bad. We can reschedule.
[thud]
Granny Smith: E- whut- hai- where am I? Well, howdy, Miss Cheerilee! You window shopping?
Cheerilee: Uh... no? You asked me to come here to tell me that you wouldn't be making it to Family Appreciation Day?
Granny Smith: Fiddlesticks! I wouldn't miss it for all the tea in Canterlot!
Cheerilee: But- didn't you just say...?
Granny Smith: See you Monday!
Apple Bloom: [muffled] [sighs] I can't believe she woke up from her nap. [normal] She never wakes up from her nap! [muffled] I wish I could just run off and hide!
Sweetie Belle: Well, you can't run off... but maybe somepony else can!
[wind blowing, lightning cracking]
[electricity crackling]
Granny Smith: Yee-haw!
Applejack: The zap apple harvest has begun!
[thud]
Granny Smith: And tomorrow we will be makin' up some zap apple jam!
Scootaloo: [in deeper voice] Miss Granny Smith? Telegram.
Granny Smith: Well, bust my buttons. Uncle Apple Strudel wants me to pay him a visit.
Apple Bloom: And you can just make the 8AM train. I already packed you a bag!
Granny Smith: Well, that was considerate.
Apple Bloom: [slaps]
Granny Smith: But don't you worry, flibbertigibbet! I'll be back in time to make that jam!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] That train ride takes all day. I'm safe. Hah.
Cheerilee: For today's Family Appreciation Day, we are pleased to welcome Granny Smith. Um... Apple Bloom? Is Granny Smith here?
Apple Bloom: Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Cheerilee, but she got called out of town on account of a family emergency–
Granny Smith: Well, howdy, my little ponies!
Granny Smith: Howdy, y'all! I'm as happy as a pig in a fresh mudpile to be here!
Apple Bloom: Whuh- what are you doing here? Did you miss the train?
Granny Smith: Er, no, it came. And Uncle Apple Strudel was on it.
Apple Strudel: Ooooooh, noogie-noogie-noggie! [laughs madly]
Diamond Tiara: I can't wait to hear Granny Smith's presentation. [hushed] If she can remember any of it.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [giggling]
Granny Smith: Long ago, when I was a little pony, things were very different here in Ponyville, 'cause there was no Ponyville!
Granny Smith: [voiceover] That's right, my little ponies. Me and my family were pilgrim pony folk, back when I was a little filly. Oh, we ventured far and wide, collecting new seeds and sellin' the old. But my pa was the finest seed collector in all of Equestria. Then, one day, the Smith family found themselves in the most brilliant, most grand, most magnificent of all cities. A place called... Canterlot. Well, I bet your hooves to hindquarters I had never seen anything like it before nor since. And as if the beauty of that city wasn't enough, suddenly, she appeared. Princess Celestia, the most regal of all ponies. When lo and behold, she stopped to look at my pa's seed collection. Then Princess Celestia saw that we were plumb-tuckered and hankerin' to find our forever home. And bein' a royal Princess and all, she knew exactly the place for us to lay down our stakes. My pa gave the Princess a mighty thanks. We quickly found that land near the Everfree Forest, and we built our first home. Next, we planted our first orchards. But an orchard don't grow overnight, and we were getting mighty short on food. Now mind you, we were cautioned about the forest, and we knew that it was not fit to enter.
[timberwolf howling]
Granny Smith: [voiceover] But I knew there was critters livin' there. There must be somethin' to eat. It was dark and musty, and I won't lie, it was scary. But every inch was covered in plant life, and before I knew it, wasn't I standin' in front of the most incredible apple trees! I had never seen anything that bore this kind of colorful fruit! Oh I started picking apples quick as a whip!
[timberwolves howling and growling]
Granny Smith: [voiceover] I turned, and there before me stood the timberwolves! I've never run so fast in my life. I did the only thing I could think of.
[pot banging]
Granny Smith: [voiceover] My pa and I planted those special apple seeds, and before our eyes they grew like wildfire. Why, we had full grown trees faster than you could say 'lickety split'. Then each year, I paid close attention to the signs of the zap apples' special harvesting times. How the weather affects the Everfree Forest, how the timberwolves howl when the zap apples first start growing, and how they zapped away if you didn't pick 'em all in one day! And the fruits of our labor were the best fruit we ever tasted. Soon enough I was mixing up batches of zap apple jam. Just like harvestin' the zap apples had its special rules, so did makin' zap apple jam. I learned that you gotta be extra friendly with the bees, otherwise their honey won't taste rightly sweet to mix in with the zap apples. Who'd'a thought that glass jars needed talkin' to? Or that zap apples like pink polka dots? But magic is as magic does. Just funny that way. Then ponies started comin' to our farm from far and wide just to get a taste of my zap apple jam. Some of them decided to stay, like Stinkin' Rich, Diamond Tiara's great grandfather. Matter of fact, the first thing he ever sold was my zap apple jam.
[train whistle blowing]
Granny Smith: [voiceover] And before we knew it, we had ourselves a nice little town, bustling with all kinds of ponies. And that is how Ponyville was founded.
[music]
Foals: [clapping]
Granny Smith: Oh, thank you kindly, little ponies. Oh, now now, let's settle down.
Scootaloo: So if it weren't for you and the zap apples, Ponyville wouldn't even exist?!
Granny Smith: Darn tootin', little filly!
Apple Bloom: If it weren't for my Granny Smith, your daddy wouldn't have Barnyard Bargains.
Rest of foals: ["It's true", general agreement]
Diamond Tiara: But–
Granny Smith: [licks]
Diamond Tiara: But she's just a... kooky old lady!
Foals: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: She is not a kooky old lady! She is the most amazing pony in all of Ponyville!
Scootaloo: I think this is the best zap apple jam I've tasted yet!
Sweetie Belle: Must be 'cause you had something to do with it, Apple Bloom.
Granny Smith: You betcha. Apple Bloom is one humdinger of a zap apple jammer!
Apple Bloom: I am?
Applejack: So I take it Family Appreciation Day went well?
Apple Bloom: Did it? My Granny Smith is super special! I just forgot that for a little while.
Granny Smith: Aw, don't fret. I forget things all the time. Now, I'll getcha... er... somethin'. Aw.
Applejack: Who wants to help Granny sing to the water?
Foals: We do, we do!
Granny Smith and Foals: A, B, C, D, E, F, G... [continues]
Filthy Rich: Diamond Tiara?
Diamond Tiara: But dad!
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [laughing]
[music]
[credits]

Baby Cakes

Main cast: [chattering excitedly]
Applejack: Can you believe the new baby is finally here?
Twilight Sparkle: Cup Cake and Carrot Cake must be so proud!
Rarity: I wonder if it's a filly or a colt?
Pinkie Pie: I wanna see the new baby pony! I wanna see! Which one is it?!
Mr. Cake: Meet our son, Pound Cake.
Pound Cake: [yawns]
Main cast: Awwww.
Mr. Cake: ...and our daughter, Pumpkin Cake.
Pumpkin Cake: [yawns]
Main cast: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Two new foals for me to play with? [gasps] That's two, two, two times the fun! This is the greatest day ever! We need to celebrate your birthday, babies, 'cause you were just born today! Woo-hoo!
Nurse Redheart: Shhh. The babies are trying to sleep.
Pinkie Pie: But I was just–
Nurse Redheart: Shhh.
Pinkie Pie: But–
Nurse Redheart: Shhh!
Pinkie Pie: [quieter] Happy happy birthday to you and you today–
[thud]
Applejack: Now how in thunderation is one of them twins a Pegasus and the other one a unicorn?
Mr. Cake: Easy. My great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake's great aunt's second cousin twice removed was a Pegasus. That makes sense, right?
Rainbow Dash: Aw, yeah! Heh, just you wait! Once little Pound Cake there gets his wings going, he'll be all over the place.
Twilight Sparkle: And be careful around Pumpkin Cake.
Rarity: Baby unicorns get strange magic surges that come and go.
Pinkie Pie: Quick! Make a wish and blow out your candles! Which is easy, 'cause there are zero candles! You are zero years old, after all!
Nurse Redheart: Shhh!
[theme song]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [happy gurgling]
[Pinkie Pie]
Happy month-i-versary to you and you today!
[very quickly] I-can't-believe-you're-already-a-month-old. Time-sure-flies-doesn't-it-wow. Seems-like-only yesterday-you-were-born.
But now you're a month old today, hey!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [blowing party kazoos] [excited giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Are you ready for your favoritest game in the whole wide world? Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Here I am!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Here I am! Here I am! Here I am! [blows raspberry]
Mrs. Cake: Everything okay in there? Who needs a diaper change?
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, they're fine! [sniffs] Oogh, I mean...
Mr. Cake: Oh, I got it.
[clang]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Mr. Cake: Is anypony hungry?
Pinkie Pie: Ah, no thanks. I just had a big breakfast.
Mrs. Cake: I'm on it.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sucking on bottles]
[watch ticking]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sighs, then groans]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, oh, you're making funny faces! I have one! Bleghhh!
Mr. Cake: [chuckles] No, y'see, Pinkie, the babies need to be burped.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [belches]
Pinkie Pie: All set now? Everything good? Okay, who wants to play again?
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [excited giggling]
Mrs. Cake: Uh uh uh, Pound Cake, no pounding things.
Mr. Cake: Uh uh uh uh, we don't chew on things, Pumpkin Cake.
Pinkie Pie: Except food.
Mrs. Cake: [gasps] Food! Great cinnamon sticks, I completely forgot.
Pinkie Pie: No, you just fed them bottles, remember?
Mrs. Cake: Not the babies' food!
Mr. Cake: Gh! The food for the enormously big catering order we have to deliver today!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, with the new twins, we've been so distracted!
Mr. Cake: Gh, quick, honeybun, we need to find a babysitter to watch the foals while we take care of this.
Pinkie Pie: I could do it! I wanna do it! Oh, the babies love playing with me, I'll do it!
Mrs. Cake: I wonder who would be available on such short notice.
Pinkie Pie: Me! Me! Pick me!
Fluttershy: Oh, I would love to babysit! But I can't today, sorry. I promised Angel we'd go on a picnic. You understand, don't you? Y-you're not mad at me, are you? Please don't be mad at me!
Pinkie Pie: I'll do it! Pick me!
Twilight Sparkle: I have to finish this report for the Princess summarizing all my other reports to the Princess.
Pinkie Pie: I wanna babysit! Pick me!
[thwack!]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Babysit? Now? When there's a swarm o' hungry caterpillars headin' this way? I gotta get all these apples picked before they get swarmed on!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, I wanna do it!
Rainbow Dash: I got tickets to the Wonderbolts airshow this afternoon. Gotta dash!
Pinkie Pie: Ask me! Mememememememememememememe!
Rarity: Moi? Babysit? N- Oh nonononononononono! I'm flattered that you would think about me though.
Mr. Cake: [groans] [unenthusiastically] Pinkie Pie, how would you like to babysit for us?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I dunno. I'll have to check my schedule.
[doors bang]
Pumpkin Cake: [giggles]
Mr. Cake: Now, Pinkie, are you sure you really understand the responsibility of watching over two babies?
Pinkie Pie: I can be responsible. Why, responsibility is my middle name. Pinkie Responsibility Pie.
Mrs. Cake: But this time you need to take care of them, not just play with them. You have to be responsible.
Pinkie Pie: Yes, I know. I will. I am.
[ding]
Mrs. Cake: Oh, here you are, dearie. All your responsibilities are on this list.
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! That's a lot of responsi– Consider it done.
Mr. Cake: [to Mrs. Cake] We'll frost it when we get there! C'mon, sugarplum, tick-tick!
Mrs. Cake: Take good care of our two precious little ginger snaps!
Pinkie Pie: No problemo, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Everything is under control.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, don't cry, little friends! Look, look! Where's Pinkie Pie...? Where's Pinkie Pie?
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Oh no... I'm right here, see?
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: [warbling noises]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, think think think... Aha!
Pinkie Pie: Hey guys, watch this!
[applause]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, you're a wonderful crowd here tonight! Where y'all from? Wow, that's great. Y'know, I used to have an ant farm, but I had to get rid of it because... I couldn't find tractors that small!
[ba-dum tish]
Pinkie Pie: Get it? Tractors that small? [pause] The other day, I spilled spot remover on my dog... and now I can't find him!
[ba-dum tish]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Gee, tough crowd. [to herself] Tell me about it. Fine, I wasn't gonna pull off a show stopper, but you're a lovely audience and I think you deserve it!
[Pinkie Pie]
First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!
[Pinkie Pie]
First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
[Pinkie Pie]
First you jiggle your tail! Oink oink oink!
Then you wriggle your snout! Oink oink oink!
Then you wiggle your rump! Oink oink oink!
Then shout it out! Oink oink oink!
[ploof]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: There, see? Nothing to this babysitting business! Ugh!
Pinkie Pie: Snack time. That's easy enough. Okie-dokie! Eat up! Like this! Num-num-num, num-num-num-num! Ahh!
Pumpkin Cake: Nom-
Pinkie Pie: No, Pumpkin Cake, we eat food, not tablecloths.
Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
[splat]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Huh, huh? Uh, hey, guys, look at me!
[ploof]
Pinkie Pie: Achoo!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. I think I can see where this is going. [snorts]
[water running]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Towels are not food, Pumpkin Cake!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Drop it... Drop it... Drop it!?
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [muffled giggling] [giggling] [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, look, guys! Bubbles! [blows]
[bubble pops]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, uh, uh, uh, don't cry! Look, look, uh, floating things! Ooh, aaah, eeh!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
[water spraying]
[crunch]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, don't make me do it, guys! You know what happens when you mix flour and water, don't you?
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [crying]
[ploof]
[splatting sounds]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] [gasps] [hoof on nose] Smells like somepony needs me to changy-wangy their diaper-wiper right now-a-wow! [tiptoeing noise] Easy... easy...
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
Pumpkin Cake: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: [growls]
[fight sounds; Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake giggling throughout]
Pinkie Pie: Wait- no- stay there- just- for a second- stand still, I've almost-
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Thank goodness they're home!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi! I finished up the work I had to do, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you needed any help. Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming! I can't begin to tell you what my day has been like! I mean, these babies just won't listen to reason, and don't even get me started on their taste in stand-up comedy.
[ba-dum tish]
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Pinkie. I figured you would need some help. That's why I stopped by.
Pinkie Pie: Ex-cuse me?
Twilight Sparkle: Babies take a lot of work, and some ponies are just not cut out to handle the responsibility.
Pinkie Pie: Is that so? Well, thanks for stopping by, Twilight. Sorry, I don't have time to visit. I'm very very busy with my responsibilities here.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm happy to help! It's no trouble–
[door slams]
Pinkie Pie: Well, of all the– She thinks I can't handle things on my own! Maybe because I haven't handled things on my own. Well, I can handle things on my own!
Pound Cake: [happy burbling]
[toy squeaking]
Pumpkin Cake: [giggling and numing]
Pinkie Pie: Pound Cake. [growls] This is a crib. It is only to be used for napping, sleeping, and on occasion with permission, as a pretend old-timey Western fort. It is not a trampoline, so stop your jumping right now, mister!
Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: And you, young filly. We do not put anything in our mouth that we cannot safely and properly digest, so stop slobbering on that toy this instant!
[toy squeaks]
Pinkie Pie: Now, we've all had a very exhausting afternoon, and it's time for all good little foals to take their nap. So, fall asleep!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [snoring]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] [kisses twice] Sleep tight.
[toy squeaks]
Pinkie Pie: Now that's what I call handling things. [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, nononono. Not good, not good, not good! Pound? Pumpkin? Where are you? Come out, come out, wherever you are!
[toy squeaks]
Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! You be a good little girl now, Pumpkin-wumpkin, and stay in your crib for your pal Pinkie-winkie!
Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy repeatedly]
Pinkie Pie: Pound Cake? [clicks] Here, Pound Cake!
[wind blowing]
Pound Cake: [echoed giggles]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, Pound Cake? Uh...
Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy]
Pound Cake: [echoed giggles]
Pumpkin Cake: [squeaks toy; sound gets lower and more sinister]
[Psycho chords play]
Pound Cake: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] You can fly?!
Pound Cake: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: Oh... get down here... this instant... young... colt! [gasps for breath] I'm responsible for you!
[suction cup noises]
Pumpkin Cake: [giggles] Nom nom nom.
Pinkie Pie: No no no, Pumpkin.
Pumpkin Cake: Nom nom.
Pinkie Pie: No no.
Pumpkin Cake: Nom.
Pinkie Pie: No. Hmph! I am the responsible one, and I said no.
Pound Cake: Wheeee!
Pinkie Pie: That goes for you too, Pound Cake!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Gotcha! I think? [yelping]
[thudding on stairs]
[splats]
Pinkie Pie: Mm, razzleberry. I'm- not- letting- go! I'm- re-spon-si-ble!
[thudding on stairs]
[elastic stretching]
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, not you too! There! Now who's the responsible one?
Pumpkin Cake: [jubilant giggling]
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] [sobbing]
[ploof]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Y'know, you're right. That is funny.
Pound Cake: [snoring]
Pumpkin Cake: [sleepy mumbling]
Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia,
I've always had fun playing with little kids, and I thought babysitting meant just more playtime, right? Wrong! Being a caregiver is way more responsibility than just being a playmate. And today, I learned that sometimes our desire for responsibility can outrun our actual ability to handle it.
[bell rings]
Mr. Cake: Pinkie Pie! We're back!
Mrs. Cake: How did everything go? [gasps]
Mr. Cake: Are we in the right place?
Pinkie Pie: Shhh!
Pound Cake: [snoring]
Pumpkin Cake: [sleepy mumbling]
Mrs. Cake: P-Pinkie. This is just... just...
Mr. Cake: Amazing is what it is. We had no idea how responsible you really are. Would you be interested in becoming our go-to babysitter on a permanent basis?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Hm- Ah- lemme check my schedule! I should be available a week from... never!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [sighs]
Pound Cake: Pinkie...
Pumpkin Cake: Pie...
Pinkie Pie: [happily gasps] I have some free time next Tuesday.
[music]
[credits]

The Last Roundup

[galloping]
[tap on wood]
Apple Bloom: Whoo-- Whoa! Whoo-hoo! Applejack, you're sure to knock everypony's hat off at the Equestria Rodeo competition!
Applejack: Aw shucks, Apple Bloom. I sure hope so.
Apple Bloom: Hope so? I know so! After all, you're the ten-time rodeo champeen of Ponyville! Why, you've got more blue ribbons than anypony in Ponyville ever! And I can't wait for my big sis to win every blue ribbon in Equestria and bring home the title of Equestria Rodeo champeen!
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Now, careful, Derpy! Don't want to do any more damage than you've already done.
[crash]
Derpy: I just don't know what went wrong.
[lightning zaps]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. It's a mystery.
Derpy: Nice work, Rainbow Dash.
[thud]
[wood splintering]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
Derpy: You okay, Rainbow Dash? Anything I can do to help?
Rainbow Dash: No! Nothing! In the name of Celestia, just sit there and do nothing!
[wood splintering]
[crash]
Derpy: Oops. My bad.
Crowd: Applejack! Applejack! Applejack! Applejack! [continues chanting]
Mayor Mare: Everypony, can I get your attention? Attention please!
Crowd: [stops chanting]
Mayor Mare: Yes, we are all here to send Applejack to compete in this year's Equestria Rodeo competition in Canterlot.
Crowd: [cheering and applause]
Mayor Mare: And I want to thank Applejack in advance for generously offering up her prize money to fix town hall.
Derpy: Yeah, Applejack! Whoo-hoo!
[thud]
Crowd: [cheering and stomping]
Pinkie Pie: Speech! Speech!
Applejack: Oh, shucks. I'm not much for speeches.
Pinkie Pie: Alright then, no speech!
Applejack: Buuut! This here is the nicest send off anypony could ask for. Y'all have been cheering me on in every rodeo since I was a little little pony. So it seems only fittin' to use my winnings to fix up town hall. I promise to make Ponyville proud.
Crowd: [cheering]
[bell ringing]
Granny Smith: I want you to show all them highfalutin rodeo ponies what a real rodeo pony's like!
Applejack: You betcha, Granny Smith.
Mayor Mare: And bring back all that money!
Applejack: You betcha, Mayor.
Pinkie Pie: And have fun. And don't be nervous. Or if you are, use that nervous energy to do even better than you already would! And eat peanuts and popcorn and taffy. Taffy gives lots of nervous energy! [munching]
Twilight Sparkle: Just do your best, Applejack.
Applejack: I'll do better than my best!
Conductor: The train to Canterlot is about to leave! All aboard who's coming aboard!
Applejack: Guess that means me.
Rainbow Dash: Seeya in a week!
Apple Bloom: With lots of new blue ribbons!
Mayor Mare: And lots of money!
Applejack: Darn tootin'! See y'all in a week, with a big bag full of blue ribbons!
Assembled ponies: [Bye, etc.]
Pinkie Pie: And drink sarsaparilla! What? It gives you extra sass.
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope Applejack is surprised by this surprise party!
Rainbow Dash: Well, that is the point.
Fluttershy: I know, but I hope she isn't so surprised she's startled, because while being surprised can be nice, being startled can be... very startling.
Pinkie Pie: Surprise!
[party whistle blows]
[thud]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, Pinkie, you startled me.
Pinkie Pie: Sorry! I was just practicing my "surprise!" for when we surprise Applejack with this super cool party for becoming rodeo champeen of Equestria! Surprise!
[party whistle blows]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Quiet, Pinkie, I think Applejack's coming!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight. Got my lips all limbered up! [makes various noises with her mouth]
[door opens]
Ponies: Surprise!
Big McIntosh: [blows kazoo]
Pinkie Pie: Surprise! Shoot!
Parcel Post: Wow, this is the best surprise ever! How did you know it was my birthday?
[doors slam twice]
Apple Bloom: Who's it from, Twilight? What's it say?
Twilight Sparkle: It's from Applejack. "Family and friends, not coming back to Ponyville."
Ponies: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: "...Don't worry, will send money soon." That's all there is.
Ponies: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: Applejack's... not comin' back?
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean Applejack's not coming back?! She loves Ponyville!
Granny Smith: And she loves Sweet Apple Acres!
Apple Bloom: And she loves her family!
Rarity: [gasps] Something just dreadful must have happened to Applejack to make her not return!
Fluttershy: Maybe she's hurt, or sad, or scared!
Rainbow Dash: So, what are we waiting for? Let's go find her!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. We'll search all of Equestria if we have to. We'll bring her back.
Apple Bloom: Y'all are the best.
Granny Smith: Thank you, girls! [to Big McIntosh] Our little bushel just lost one apple.
Big McIntosh: [sniffles]
[train whistle blows]
[ball deflates]
[hawk cries]
Pinkie Pie: [panicked sounds under]
Rainbow Dash: I hope this lead doesn't turn out to be a dead end. I don't wanna go home empty-hooved after promising we'd find her.
Fluttershy: I don't know how we'll break it to the Apple family.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know how we'll break it to Ponyville!
Pinkie Pie: I don't know how I'll make it to the next stop!
Twilight Sparkle: This is Dodge Junction, girls. Applejack is supposed to have come here after the rodeo ended. Let's fan out and try to find her.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, pickles! [knocking] Hurryhurryhurryhurryhurry! Hurry it up in there!
[toilet flushes]
Applejack: Huh, some ponies. Sheesh.
Pinkie Pie: Applejack! I found her, I found her, I found her, I found her, I found her!
Rarity: Oh, Applejack, thank heavens!
Fluttershy: We're so glad you're safe!
Pinkie Pie: I found her, I found her, I found her, I found her! Be right back.
[door shuts]
Applejack: Uh, hey, everypony. What's up?
Rainbow Dash: Why didn't you come back to Ponyville?!
Rarity: Yes, why are you here?
[toilet flushes]
Fluttershy: Are you okay?
Pinkie Pie: Do you have any snacks?
Twilight Sparkle: Tell us what happened, Applejack!
Cherry Jubilee: Applejack? Are these some of your Ponyville friends?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, ma'am.
Rarity: And you are?
Cherry Jubilee: Why, I'm Cherry Jubilee, boss of Cherry Hill Ranch. Hasn't Applejack told ya? I saw her compete at the Equestria Rodeo. Never saw anypony win so many ribbons in all my life.
Applejack: Aw shucks, Miss Jubilee. You don't have to go into all that.
Cherry Jubilee: Oh, she's so modest. Anyway, I can always use a pony with quick hooves and a strong back. So, when I heard Applejack was looking for a change of scenery, I snapped her up as quick as I could and brought her to Dodge Junction. Well, I'll let you catch up with your friends. See you back at the ranch.
Rainbow Dash: "Change of scenery"? What's that supposed to mean?
Applejack: S'no big deal, guys. I thought cherries would be a nice change from apples, so I took the job and came here. That's it. End of story.
Pinkie Pie: That's it? Well, that's a terrible story!
Applejack: Sorry, but that's all there is to tell. Thanks for checkin' on me, but y'all can go home now. Tell my family hi, and that I'm doing a-okay.
Rainbow Dash: Excuse me, AJ, but we didn't travel all over Equestria searching for you to come home without you!
Applejack: Well, I didn't ask you to come lookin' for me! There is nothin' to tell and I am not going back to Ponyville!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't care what she says. Applejack's not telling us something.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight's right. We gotta get her to spill the beans.
Pinkie Pie: What?! She had beans? Ugh, I told her I was snacky!
Cherry Jubilee: You ready to put your back into it, Applejack?
Applejack: Sure am, Miss Jubilee.
Cherry Jubilee: Terr-ific. Come on in, girls!
Applejack: What are you all doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: We're your cherry sorters. Shall we get started?
Applejack: Fine.
Cherry Jubilee: Haha, red cherries go in one bin, and yellow cherries go in the other. Simple as cherry pie. Uh, just one teensy thing to remember – have fun!
Applejack: What are you five up to?
Rarity: Well, uh, you made working on a cherry orchard sound... so delightful.
Applejack: Uh-huh. Well, just remember: no talking about Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! Why don't you quit talking and get walking?
[gears turning]
Twilight Sparkle: So, AJ, how was Canterlot? Not talking about Ponyville, talking about Canterlot, totally different town.
Applejack: Canterlot was fine.
Twilight Sparkle: Was the rodeo fun?
Applejack: Yes.
Twilight Sparkle: Did you meet some nice ponies there?
Applejack: Some.
Rainbow Dash: Really? Did you see Wild Bull Hickok? What about Calamity Mane?
Applejack: Yes, I saw 'em both.
Rarity: And how did you meet Miss Jubilee?
Applejack: Um, well, Miss Jubilee had a cherry stand at the rodeo. Real good treats.
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me?
Applejack: Cherry winks, cherry cheesecake, cherry tarts. We struck up a conversation, being orchard folk and all.
Twilight Sparkle: So you told her about Sweet Apple Acres?
Applejack: Yes.
Rainbow Dash: Did you tell her why you weren't going back?
Applejack: No, 'cuz it was none of her business!
Fluttershy: Ooh... Can you please slow down?
Rainbow Dash: Is it because I made it rain on you that one time?
Applejack: No!
Fluttershy: Help!
Twilight Sparkle: Is it because you were insulted when I gave you that book on organized orchards?
Applejack: NO!
[gears turning]
Rarity: Is it because you were insulted when I insulted your hair?
Applejack: No, no, NO! I'm not telling you why, so just–
Fluttershy: STOP!
[screech]
[splat]
Rest of main cast: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, girls, we seem to be striking out.
Rainbow Dash: That's 'cause we're playing too nice.
Rarity: Yes. Desperate times do call for desperate measures.
Rainbow Dash: It's time to call in the big guns.
[five thumps]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack. Need some help?
Applejack: You promise not to ask me any questions?
Pinkie Pie: I promise.
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Have you ever had a cherrychanga? Ooh! Sorry, that was a question.
Applejack: That kind of question is fine, Pinkie. No, I-I never had a cherrychanga.
Pinkie Pie: Well, no wonder, because I made it up myself! A cherrychanga is mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. Cherrychanga. Great name, huh? Oh, but maybe I should call it a chimicherry. Ooh, that's good too. Which do you think sounds better? Cherrychanga or chimicherry? Or what if I combine them? Chimicherrychanga! What sounds the funniest? I like funny words! One of my favorite funny words is 'kumquat'! I didn't make that one up. I would work in a kumquat orchard just so I could say 'kumquat' all day! Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat! And 'pickle barrel'! Isn't that just the funnest thing to say? Pickle barrel, pickle barrel, pickle barrel! Say it with me! Pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, pickle barrel, kumquat, chimicherrychanga!
Applejack: No! Make it stop, make it stop!
Pinkie Pie: [continues chant, muffled by Rainbow Dash]
Rainbow Dash: The only way to make it stop is for you to spill the beans!
Applejack: Never!
Pinkie Pie: Speaking of beans, did you ever realize how many words rhyme with 'beans'? Lean, mean, spleen, unclean, bean... [continues under]
Applejack: Alright, alright! I'll tell everypony what's goin' on! Just please stop talkin'! But... can it wait 'til tomorrow at breakfast? I'm plum tuckered out.
Rainbow Dash: Tomorrow, huh? I don't know...
Pinkie Pie: Do you Pinkie promise?
Applejack: [sighs] I will tell you the whole truth at breakfast. Pinkie promise.
[rooster crows]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad we're finally gonna get some answers from Applejack.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, maybe.
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Rainbow. She's gotta 'fess up after making a Pinkie promise.
[knocking]
Pinkie Pie: Good morning, Applejack. You ready for br– [gasps]
[sound of kettle boiling]
Pinkie Pie: Nopony breaks a Pinkie promise!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack! [slightly distorted] You Pinkie promised!
Applejack: [yelps]
Pinkie Pie: Applejack, come back here!
Applejack: Giddy up, fellas, I gotta get the heck out of Dodge!
Coach ponies: [neighs]
Pinkie Pie: She's gonna get away!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, she won't! Look, girls!
Pinkie Pie: Follow that stagecoach! Oh, we have you now!
[screeching]
Rabbit: [sniffs]
Applejack: Whoa! What the hay?
Rainbow Dash: Pull over!
Applejack: Hey! Cut that out! Whoa! [to coach ponies] I'll pay you double to outrun them.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll pay you triple to slow down!
Applejack: I'll pay you quadruple to leave them in the dust!
[horses neighing, engine revving]
Rest of main cast: [coughing]
Rarity: That was rude!
Pinkie Pie: Get them! Get them!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Fluttershy!
Applejack: Hyah! C'mon, y'all! Go, go!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack, you broke your Pinkie promise! Apologize!
Applejack: Pinkie, I did not break my promise!
Pinkie Pie: Wha?
Applejack: If y'all reckon back, I told you that I would tell you everything at breakfast. But I didn't come for breakfast. I couldn't come to that breakfast, not if it meant telling y'all what happened.
Pinkie Pie: Well, I... I...
Applejack: I'm sorry, Pinkie, but I can't tell y'all the truth. I just can't!
Pinkie Pie: Well I heard a "sorry" in there, so that'll have to do for now. I'll get a real apology later. Rarity, catch me.
Rarity: What? Pinkie– [screams]
[crunch]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, go back!
Rainbow Dash: No time! They knew what they were getting into!
Rarity: [coughs]
[railway crossing bells]
Applejack: Yes. Hyah!
[train whistle]
[crunches]
Applejack: Yee-haw!
Coach ponies: [in unison] Lady, you're trouble.
Applejack: Ha, try and catch me now. Oh, nuts.
Fluttershy: [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Not so fast!
[thump]
Applejack: Fine. Now you know.
Twilight Sparkle: Know what?
Applejack: Well, just look!
Twilight Sparkle: I am. You won an amazing number of ribbons, just like Miss Jubilee said!
Applejack: Don't you get it? There's every color of ribbon down there. Every color... but... blue. I came in fourth, third, even second, but I didn't win one first prize, and I certainly didn't win any prize money.
Rainbow Dash: But the telegram said you were gonna send money.
Applejack: That's why I came here. I wanted to earn some money. After that big old send off Ponyville gave me, I just didn't have the nerve to come home empty-hooved. I couldn't come home a failure.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you're not a failure.
Rainbow Dash: And we're your friends! We don't care if you came in fiftieth place! You're still number one in our books.
Applejack: So... you're not upset or disappointed?
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: Nn-nn.
Applejack: But what about the mayor? I don't think I can face her and tell her I didn't get that money to fix the broken roof.
Fluttershy: Applejack, we can always find a way to fix that hole in the roof. But if you don't come back, we'll never be able to fix the hole in our hearts.
Rainbow Dash: [sniffles] Darn it! Now you got me acting all sappy!
Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia,
It's a tad easier to be proud when you come in first than it is when you finish further back. But there's no reason to hide when you don't do as well as you'd hoped. You can't run away from your problems. Better to run to your friends and family.
Pinkie Pie: What do you think, Rarity? Chimicherry or cherrychanga? Chimicherry, cherrychanga? Chimicherry, cherrychanga? Chimicherry, cherrychanga? Chimicherry, cherrychanga? [continues under]
Rarity: When I get back, you're gonna get it, Rainbow Dash! [grumbles]
Pinkie Pie: [continues repeating question to fadeout]
[music]
[credits]

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000

[knocking]
Fluttershy: [yawns] Who could that be? It's still dark!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, Fluttershy! Cider season's about to start!
Fluttershy: [squee] [shrieks] Oh, where are we? What's the rush?
Rainbow Dash: The rush? Don't you remember what happened last year? Or the year before that? Or pretty much any cider season ever?
Fluttershy: Um, well, uh–
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie. She always ends up ahead of us in line, and then they always run out of cider!
Fluttershy: I guess I–
Rainbow Dash: Well, not this year! This year I'm gonna get there before sunrise, so I can drink all the cider I want and laugh when she doesn't get any! It's the perfect plan. Y'know, I might even buy some cider and hold onto it for a while, drinking it drop by drop in front of her– [gasps]
Fluttershy: Gee, Rainbow Dash. It looks like a few other ponies had the same idea.
[zipping noise]
Fluttershy: Oh, gosh, Pinkie. I love your new style.
Rainbow Dash: Who are all these ponies?!
Pinkie Pie: Isn't this great? I couldn't sleep last night 'cause I was so excited about cider season, and I had this brilliant idea to come down here and camp out, so I told a few others about it, and they all thought it was a great idea too, and now it's just a big old cider party! Woo-hoo! Oh, gosh, that's a lot of ponies. Hope they don't run out before you get any.
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Isn't this exciting, Spike? Opening day of cider season!
Spike: Yeah! That means it's only thirty more days 'til sapphire season!
Applejack: [through megaphone] Attention, everypony! Cider season is now officially open!
Ponies: [excited chattering]
[bits clinking]
[tap clunking repeatedly]
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
[tap fizzling]
Applejack: Heh. Sorry, everypony! That's it for today!
Ponies: Awww.
Rainbow Dash: Surprise, surprise. You ran out again!
Caramel: Yeah, you always run out!
Fluttershy: For the record, I don't mind–
Rainbow Dash: Why can't you make enough cider for all of us? Or at least for me!
Ponies: ["Yeah", general complaining]
Applejack: Hold on, everypony. We've done our best to improve supply this year-
Caramel: You always say that!
Applejack: And it's always true. But Apple family cider is made with love and integrity, and only the highest quality apples in Equestria. Sorry, but that recipe takes time.
Ponies: [more complaining]
Applejack: If y'all just be patient, we'll have plenty more tomorrow.
Pinkie Pie: She's right, y'know! You can't rush perfection! And this year's batch was perfection!
Fluttershy: Uh, Pinkie Pie–
Pinkie Pie: I'll never forget the cider I just drank! It was a moment in time that will never exist again. [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
[honk]
[motorized noises]
Applejack: What in Equestria is that?
[bang]
[Flim]
Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair
[Flam]
That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share
Ponies: [excited chattering]
[Flim and Flam]
Well you've got opportunity
In this very community
[Flam]
He's Flim
[Flim]
He's Flam
[Flim and Flam]
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Pinkie Pie: Nonpa-what?
[Flim]
Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be
And that's a new world, with tons of cider
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking
[Flam]
More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking
Rainbow Dash: I doubt that.
[Flim and Flam]
So take this opportunity
[Flim, Flam, and Crowd]
In this very community
[Flam]
He's Flim
[Flim]
He's Flam
[Flim and Flam]
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers
Traveling salesponies
[Flim, Flam, and Crowd]
Nonpareil
[Flim]
I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout our peculiar mode of transport
[Flam]
I say, our mode of locomotion
[Flim]
And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?
[Flam]
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
[Flim]
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
Unseen at any time in this big new world
[Flim and Flam]
And that's opportunity
[Flim]
Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best
[Flam]
The unbelievable
[Flim]
Unimpeachable
[Flam]
Indispensable
[Flim]
I-can't-believe-able
[Flim and Flam]
Flim Flam Brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flam: What d'you say, sister?
Rarity: [faints]
[Crowd]
Oh, we got opportunity
In this very community
Please, Flim, please, Flam, help us out of this jam
With your Flim Flam Brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flim: Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spellbindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?
Applejack: Uh, sure, I guess.
[Crowd]
Opportunity, in our community
[Flam]
Ready, Flim?
[Flim]
Ready, Flam?
[Flim and Flam]
Let's bing bang zam!
Flim: And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!
[Crowd]
Cider, cider, cider, cider... [continues until Granny Smith interrupts]
Flim: Watch closely, my friends!
[Flam]
The fun begins!
Flim: Now, here's where the magic happens. Right here in this heaving, roiling, cider-press-boiling guts of the very machine, those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-A, top-notch, five-star, blow-your-horseshoes-off, one-of-a-kind cider!
[Flam]
Feel free to take a sneak peek!
[Granny Smith]
Now wait, you fellers, hold it!
You went and over-sold it!
I guarantee that what you have there won't compare
For the very most important ingredient
Can't be added or done expedient
And it's quality, friends, Apple Acres' quality and care!
[Flim]
Well, Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear, I say I'm glad you brought that up
You see that we are very picky when it comes to cider if you'll kindly try a cup
[Flam]
Yes, sir, yes, ma'am, this great machine lets just the very best
So whaddaya say then, Apples?
Care to step into the modern world
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?
[Crowd]
Cider, cider, cider, cider... [continues until Flim and Flam begin singing]
Flim: What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can't? I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he! C'mon, Ponyville, you know what I'm talking about!
[Flim and Flam]
We're saying you've got
[Flim, Flam, and Crowd]
Opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim, he's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil!
[Flim and Flam]
Yeah!
Apple Bloom: You got a deal!
Crowd: [excited chattering]
Granny Smith: Not so fast! No way no how that machine matches up with the care we put in our cider!
Apple Bloom: But if it really does work, we could make everypony in town happy!
Applejack: I just don't know, y'all. We've always made cider the same way.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Huh?
Flim: We'll sweeten the deal. You supply the apples...
Flam: ...We supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.
Flim and Flam: Then we split those sweet sweet profits...
Flim: ...Seventy-five...
Flam: ...Twenty-five.
Apple Bloom: Deal–
Applejack: Hold on. Who gets the seventy five?
Flim: Why, us, naturally.
Flam: And, we'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free.
Applejack: Cider sales keep our business afloat through the winter. We'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if we agreed to this.
Flim and Flam: So? What'll it be?
Big McIntosh: No deal.
Flim: Hmph. Very well. If you refuse our generous offer to be partners, then we'll just have to be competitors.
Applejack: You wouldn't dare.
Flim: Oh no?
Flam: Don't you worry, everypony! There'll be plenty of cider for all of you!
Flim: [quietly] Once we drive Sweet Apple Acres out of business.
Apple family: [gasps]
Apple Bloom: What?
[clinking of bits]
[tap clunking]
Twilight Sparkle: Still worried about Flim and Flam?
Spike: Granny Smith says they were just blowing hot air.
Applejack: I'm not so sure. They sounded mighty serious when they threatened to run us out of business.
Apple Bloom: That's it! Last cup!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, for Pete's sake!
Crowd: [sighs of disappointment]
Apple Bloom: C'mon back tomorrow, everypony!
Crowd: [complaining]
[Cider Squeezy 6000 clunking]
[crunch]
Flim: What seems to be the problem here?
Flam: Oh my, oh my, out of cider again?
Flim: What have we here? Who'd like a cup?
Crowd: [cries of excitement]
Flam: Don't worry, everypony, we've got the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to make more in an instant!
[crunch]
Applejack: You can't sell that cider! That's made from Apple family apples!
Rainbow Dash: Is this some kind of cruel joke?
Flim: Don't worry, everypony, there are plenty of apples in Equestria. We'll find some others and make more cider than all of Ponyville can drink!
Crowd: [gasps]
Apple Bloom: We'll make more cider than you could ever imagine!
Crowd: [gasps]
Granny Smith: Now, it ain't about the speed, young'un, it's about quality.
Crowd: [disappointed sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Who cares how good the cider is if I never get to drink any?
Flim: Oh, look at these poor, dissatisfied ponies.
Apple Bloom: Ponyville is Sweet Apple Cider country!
Applejack: Our cider speaks for itself!
Flim: Let's put it to the test!
Apple Bloom: Anywhere, anytime!
Crowd: [shocked muttering]
Granny Smith: Well, that's enough now.
Flam: With our machine, we can make enough cider in one hour to satisfy this entire town!
Apple Bloom: We'll do it in 45 minutes!
Crowd: [Wow, really? etc.]
Granny Smith: Easy, Apple Bloom, easy.
Flim: What's the matter, Granny Smith? Chicken?
Granny Smith: What did you call me, sonny?
Flim: If you're so confident in your cider, then what's the problem?
Granny Smith: Tomorrow mornin', right here!
Flam: But I'm afraid we haven't any... [spits] ...apples.
Granny Smith: You can use our south field! It'll be worth it to teach y'all a thing or two about cider making!
Flim: Excellent; we have a bet. Whoever produces the most barrels in one hour wins the exclusive right to sell cider in Ponyville.
Granny Smith: And after we beat ya, I don't never want to see you bambahoozlers around here again!
Crowd: [chattering]
Flam: Until tomorrow.
[Cider Squeezy 6000 driving off]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Applejack, I know you'll win tomorrow!
Applejack: We'd better, 'cause if we don't, we're gonna lose our farm.
Granny Smith: [sniffing]
Applejack: [sounds of exertion]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack? Are you sure this is such a good idea?
Applejack: Me 'n' the family are... one hundred percent confident... in our cider making capabilities.
Apple Bloom: And besides, nopony calls Granny a chicken.
Mayor Mare: [through megaphone] Attention, everypony!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, good luck.
Applejack: Thanks, Twilight. We'll need it.
Mayor Mare: [through megaphone] The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville!
Crowd: [shocked gasp]
Mayor Mare: Are both teams ready?
Granny Smith: [snorts]
Applejack: Ready!
Flim and Flam: Ready!
Mayor Mare: Then let's... go!
[crackling electricity and vacuum sounds]
Granny Smith: Ugh, bad 'un. Good 'un! Bad 'un...
Applejack: Great job, y'all! We've already filled an entire barrel!
Apple Bloom: I'll bet you those guys don't even have–
Apple Bloom, Big McIntosh and Granny Smith: [gasps]
Apple Bloom: What?!
[machine noises from Cider Squeezy 6000]
Applejack: [gulps]
[dings and buzzes]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: C'mon, Apple Bloom, focus! We gotta forget those guys if we're gonna have a chance of winnin'!
Apple Bloom: Sorry, sis! Better keep up, Granny, we're fallin' behind!
Granny Smith: Egh... [sniffs] Good 'un... Ugh, bad 'un...
Applejack: Rest when it's over, Big McIntosh! Ride! Ride!
Rarity: This is just dreadful. Even at top speed the Apples are only making one barrel to the twins' three!
Twilight Sparkle: Um, Miss Mayor! Are honorary family members allowed to help in the competition?
Mayor Mare: Well, I'm not sure... Flim, Flam, would you object to honorary family members helping?
Flim: Are you kidding?
Flam: We don't care if the whole kingdom of Canterlot helps. It's a lost cause.
Mayor Mare: Hm, I guess it's okay. Applejack? What do you think?
Applejack: I think I'd love to have the rest of my family helpin' out.
Rest of main cast: All right!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, everypony, we're not gonna let those smooth talkers take our friend's farm.
Rest of main cast: Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, help Applejack with the trees.
Fluttershy: Got it.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you're on apple catching detail.
Pinkie Pie: Yessir, ma'am, sir!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you've got a discerning eye. Help Granny Smith at the quality control station.
Rarity: Of course.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, do you think you can help Big McIntosh press?
Rainbow Dash: In my sleep!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, everypony, let's save Sweet Apple Acres!
Rest of main cast: All right!
[clattering sounds]
Pinkie Pie: Over there, Apple Bloom! Don't miss them!
Apple Bloom: Right behind you, Pinkie Pie!
Granny Smith: Good 'un, bad 'un, bad 'un, good 'un...
Rarity: Lovely, horrid, horrid, lovely...
Twilight Sparkle: Based on these figures, we're making five barrels for every three of theirs!
Crowd: [cheering]
Applejack: Keep it up, everypony! We're back in this!
Flim: [spits] Come on, brother, we've gotta pick up the pace!
Flam: Right, uh, double the power!
[electric sounds]
Flim: We've gotta try something else!
Flam: I've got it, brother of mine.
[Cider Squeezy 6000 dinging]
Flim: Well done, Flam! We're at top productivity!
Crowd: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: C'mon, Rainbow Dash, keep grinding!
Rainbow Dash: We don't have time for quality control if we wanna win this thing!
Granny Smith: [yelps] Get back, you! One bad apple spoils the bunch!
Rainbow Dash: Applejack, help me!
Applejack: There's no point in winnin' if we cheat!
Twilight Sparkle: We'll just have to work harder! C'mon, everypony!
Rainbow Dash: All right then, double time!
Mayor Mare: Time's up!
Main cast and Apple family: [groans]
Crowd: [cheering]
Mayor Mare: [mumbling]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm proud of you, Applejack.
Applejack: Thanks. [pants]
Twilight Sparkle: Integrity like that will always be... rewarded.
Mayor Mare: Flim and Flam win!
Crowd: [shocked gasp, "What?", etc.]
Apple Bloom: Wh, wh–
Applejack: We... lost?
Flim: Daww, too bad, Apples.
Flam: Guess you'll just have to find a new line of work that doesn't match your names quite so... perfectly.
Flim: Now should we tear down all these tacky old buildings and put up new ones, brother?
Flam: I don't see why not, brother. After all, this isn't Sweet Apple Acres anymore. How about 'Flim Flam Fields'?
Rainbow Dash: I ought to press you into jerk cider!
Applejack: No, Rainbow Dash. A deal's a deal.
Flim and Flam: [laughing]
Applejack: Congratulations to y'all. The cider business in Ponyville... is yours. C'mon, Apples. Let's go pack up our things.
Flim: Fear not, everypony, there's more than enough cider to go around.
Flim and Flam: [laughing]
Applejack: Go ahead, everypony. Go on, y'all. It's okay.
Pinkie Pie: [crying]
Flam: Drink up, Ponyville! Down the hatch!
Ponies: [spitting] [grunting]
Cherry Berry: I can't get the taste off my tongue!
Sweetie Drops: Mine's got rocks in it!
Comet Tail: I wouldn't pay one cent for this dreck!
Flam: You wouldn't pay even one cent?
Crowd: No!
Flim and Flam: [mumbling to each other]
Flam: How about two cups for one cent?
Crowd: No!
Flim and Flam: [mumbling to each other] Two bits for a barrel?
Crowd: NO!
Flam: [nervous noises] It looks like we've encountered a slight... problem here in Ponyville.
Flim: Nopony wants our product. Next town?
Flam: Next town. Let's go, Flim!
Flim: Let's go, Flam!
[Cider Squeezy 6000 driving off]
Applejack: They're gone.
Twilight Sparkle: That means Sweet Apple Acres is still in business!
Caramel: Plus we can have high quality Apple family cider!
Apple Bloom: Because of this silly competition, we've made enough of our cider for the whole town!
Crowd: [cheering]
Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia,
I wanted to share my thoughts with you. [clears throat] I didn't learn anythin'! Ha! I was right all along! If you take your time to do things the right way, your work will speak for itself. Sure I could tell you I learned something about how my friends are always there to help me, and I can count on them no matter what, but truth is, I knew that already too.
[music]
[credits]

Read It and Weep

[whooshing noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Rarity. Hey, Pinkie Pie. What are you looking at?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! Isn't she the most daring devil? I mean, the most devilish darer? I mean—
Rarity: She's dazzling!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, yeah, that's a good word. She's dazzling!
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, oh no, oh no!
Pinkie Pie: Ai yi yi yi yi!
[crunch]
Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: Oohh.
Pinkie Pie: So much for dazzling.
[theme song]
[heart monitor beeping]
Applejack: [muffled] Is she gonna be okay?
Fluttershy: [muffled] Oh, I'm so worried!
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Is her face gonna stay that way?
Rainbow Dash: Awwww.
Twilight Sparkle: How is she, doctor?
Doctor Horse: She's going to be fine. Luckily she has friends like you who got her over here in a jiffy.
Rainbow Dash: Huh, how long do I need to lie here? I've got things I need to do!
Doctor Horse: Well, that all depends on your recovery, but I'd say a few days minimum.
Rainbow Dash: You guys have gotta get me out of here! I'm gonna climb the walls!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, just like a spider! [to Doctor Horse] Did the crash somehow give her super-duper spider powers?
Doctor Horse: Nnnno, nor did it give her amazing healing powers. She needs to stay in bed for a few days.
Rainbow Dash: Few days? Might as well be a few months, or a few years!
Fluttershy: It's not so bad, Rainbow Dash.
Applejack: I bet the chow in here is hoof-lickin' good.
Rarity: And the hospital gowns, they...match the curtains!
Pinkie Pie: And look! You have a roommate!
[wheels squeaking]
Rainbow Dash: What's this? 'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone'.
Twilight Sparkle: This is the first story in the series. I own all of them. [squee]
Rainbow Dash: No thanks. I so don't read. I'm a world-class athlete. Reading's for eggheads like you, Twilight. Heh, no offense, but I am not reading. It's undeniably, unquestionably, uncool.
Rest of main cast: [laughing]
Applejack: Is she serious? Who doesn't like to read a bang-up tale from time to time?
Rarity: Why, a good book is almost as magnificent as silk pajamas on a Sunday morning, heh!
Twilight Sparkle: Reading is for everypony, Rainbow Dash!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I love reading, and my head isn't even close to the shape of an egg! It's more the shape of an apple, or maybe an orange, but a big orange! More like a grapefruit really...
"Nurse Sweetheart": All right, my little ponies. Rainbow Dash needs her rest. You'll have to come back tomorrow.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you'd like Daring. She's a lot like you. Adventurous, fierce, and undeniably, unquestionably, unstoppable.
[door closes]
[clock ticking]
[ball bouncing]
[glass clinking, sloshing, etc.]
[light clicking]
Rainbow Dash: ...to get to the other side! Get it? Never mind...
[clock ticking]
Rainbow Dash: [growls in frustration] [sighs]
[Dash's head banging on bed]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] [unenthusiastically] "As Daring Do trekked through the tropical jungle, the wet heat sapped her energy and slowed her every step. If only she could escape this oppressive atmosphere and fly up into the cool blue sky. But her crash landing in the jungle had injured her wing and she was grounded for a few days. Few days... it might as well be a few months, or a few years!" Huh. I'm right there with you, sister.
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] "The mosquitoes buzzed loudly. The macaws cried from the high trees. Yet all of these distracting noises were not enough to cover the sound of the predators following her every step."
[various big cats growling and roaring]
[kitten mewing]
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover, steadily getting more excited] "Safely landing on the other side, Daring finally allowed herself a moment to breathe. She turned around to find herself face to face with the long lost temple that she had sought tirelessly for over sixty days and nights!"
Rainbow Dash: I hate to admit it to myself, and would really hate to admit it to my friends, but... I love this story! I, I... I love reading! I'm an egghead.
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] "The smell of decay and danger hit Daring Do as she peered into the dimly-lit entrance of the ancient temple."
[beetles scuttling]
[clunk]
[various noises: metal hitting stone, fire whooshing, alligators snapping, shing!, etc.]
[thud]
Daring Do: Phew!
[clunk]
Daring Do: [exasperated sigh]
[cacophony of noises; pots clanging, monkeys screeching, kazoos, etc.]
[angelic music]
[knocking]
Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, hey, guys...
Fluttershy: We thought we'd come and cheer you up!
Twilight Sparkle: We brought your favorite board game!
Fluttershy: We know how much you like to win!
Twilight Sparkle: You go first, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [short nervous laugh] No no, you first.
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, uh... cloud three.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, shucks, you... rained on my cumulus, heh. Go again!
Fluttershy: Um... sky five?
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, you found my seagull.
[seagull crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... cloud two?
Rainbow Dash: You zapped my weather pony! Uh-huh, you stung my bumblebee. Oh, my thunderbolt. Aw, and that's my last cloud. You found it. Guess you guys win, I lose. [nickers]
Fluttershy: But Rainbow Dash, you, you didn't even get a turn.
Rainbow Dash: You win some, you lose some.
Twilight Sparkle: But you don't lose some. I don't think you've ever lost a game of—
Rainbow Dash: [yawns] Thanks for coming!
Twilight Sparkle: But yesterday you were desperate for things to do!
Rainbow Dash: Do? Who said anything about Daring Do? I told you I'm not interested in reading. [yawns] It's nap time for me! [mocks snoring]
Fluttershy: Glad we could... cheer you up?
Rainbow Dash: [yawns]
Twilight Sparkle: Alright then.
[door closes]
Rainbow Dash: "Daring Do stood at the entrance to the central temple chamber."
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] "At last, she was face-to-face with the legendary sapphire statue!"
[stone clinking]
[arrows firing]
Daring Do: Hmm, there must be a pattern here. What do all these animals have in common? Ah-ha! These animals are all predators... except... rats! Phew!
[statue sparkling]
[stone grinding]
[rumbling]
[lava bubbling]
[thud]
Ahuizotl [with Pinkie Pie's voice]: Hello, Rainbow Dash!
[heart monitor beeping]
Rarity: How's our patient doing today?
Applejack: Ugh, we need to get some fresh air in here. You're lookin' sweatier than a pig wrangler on a summer's day.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, well, guys, thanks for visiting, but—
Nurse Snowheart: Okay, now, dinner time for Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, just in time. I am sooo hungry.
Rarity: Oh, well, don't mind us, Rainbow Dash.
Applejack: Yeah, just go ahead and eat up.
Rainbow Dash: [makes exaggerated eating noises]
Rarity: Uh, on second thought—
Pinkie Pie: Uh, we'll see you tomorrow, Rainbow Dash, aheh...
[door closes]
Rainbow Dash: [spits] "'You thought you could evade me and capture the relic for yourself, but you are sadly mistaken, Miss Do.'"
Ahuizotl: And now, you shall meet your doom! [blows whistle]
[various big cat sounds plus kitten mewling]
Ahuizotl: [laughs manically]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Who is this dude?
Daring Do: [pants] You won't get away with this, Ahuizotl!
Ahuizotl: But I already have.
[clanking]
Daring Do: [exasperated sigh] Not again...
[snakes hissing]
Daring Do: Quicksand! [sounds of exertion]
Doctor Horse: [echoing] Rainbow Dash?
Doctor Horse: [muffled] Rainbow Dash? [normal] Rainbow Da-ash!
Rainbow Dash: H— oh, good evening—
Doctor Horse: Morning.
Rainbow Dash: —morning. Doc.
Doctor Horse: Have you been up all night?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, of course not. [blows]
Doctor Horse: Well, I'll be quick. Congratulations, Rainbow Dash, we're checking you out of the hospital.
Rainbow Dash: What? Later today? [biting hoof]
Doctor Horse: No. Right now!
Rainbow Dash: Right now?! 'Right now' right now?
Doctor Horse: 'Right now' right now.
[struggling sounds]
Rainbow Dash: But I don't feel better!
Doctor Horse: Now take it easy, Rainbow Dash. Remember to stay off that wing for a week.
[door opening and closing]
Rainbow Dash: How will I ever find out what happens to Daring Do?!
Rainbow Dash: Is Ahuizotl going to get away with the statuette? What's gonna happen to Daring?! Ah-ha! Twilight has a copy of the book! Uh, but I can't ask her after I called her an egghead and all...
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, this is making me sick all over again!
Rainbow Dash: Owww... [grunts in pain unrealistically] Oh, the pain... the pain!
Doctor Horse: Rainbow Dash! What are you doing here, a-anything wrong?
Rainbow Dash: Well, uh, my wing! It's still hurtin', Doc. Oh, ouch! Right there.
Doctor Horse: I was touching your good wing.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, right. Well, I think that one's hurting now too.
Doctor Horse: [chuckles] I think I know what the trouble is. A severe case of lazy-itis.
Rainbow Dash: B-But, you got me all wrong, Doc! I'm not being lazy!
Doctor Horse: You're fine, Rainbow Dash. Give it some time and you'll be right back in the swing of things.
"Nurse Sweetheart": Good day, Rainbow Dash.
Nurse Snowheart: Take care!
Rainbow Dash: What am I gonna do? I'll never get to sleep without knowing what happens to Daring Do! ...Which may not be such a bad thing...
[owl hoots]
Rainbow Dash: [squee]
[heart monitor beeping]
Daring Do: Feels like the harder I struggle, [grunts] the tighter the ropes get!
Spider [with "Fuzzy Slippers"'s voice]: Help! Burglar, burglar!
"Fuzzy Slippers": Someone's trying to steal my slippers!
Rainbow Dash: I'm not trying to steal your slippers, I'm trying to steal this book!
[thud]
"Nurse Sweetheart": Stop, thief!
[crunch]
[airplane engine]
[alarm buzzing]
[barking, continues throughout]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, nopony invited me!
[screeching]
Rarity: Huh! Hasn't anypony heard of beauty sleep?
Doctor Horse: Rainbow Dash, what in the world is going on? Why are you stealing slippers?
Screwy: [barking]
Night Watch: Hey, get back to the hospital!
Applejack: What's all the ruckus?
Pinkie Pie: Mmm, I'd say it's more of a fracas than a ruckus.
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I'm an egghead.
Rarity: Pardon?
Rainbow Dash: See, I was trying to get back into the hospital to finish the last chapter of—
Twilight Sparkle: —'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue'!
Rainbow Dash: You got me.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, I knew the book was good, but I didn't know it could drive a pony to petty theft!
Rainbow Dash: Good? Try awesomely amazing. That book is undeniably, unquestionably, un-put-down-able! But then I had to put it down; I was sent home before I could finish it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm glad that's all this is about.
Applejack: There's no reason to go around causin' a ruckus—
Pinkie Pie: Fracas!
Applejack: ...causin' a fracas just because you like to read.
Twilight Sparkle: Like I said, I have every book in the series, and you can borrow them all, any time you like!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, thanks, Twilight. I'm sorry I made such a big deal about all of this. I thought reading was just for smart ponies like you.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, just because you're athletic doesn't mean you aren't smart!
Spike: Yeah, just look at me! [kisses]
Twilight Sparkle: Reading is something everypony can enjoy, if they just give it a try.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I get it. I shouldn't knock something until I've tried it.
Twilight Sparkle: That's a great lesson, and it would make a great letter to the Princess.
Rainbow Dash: [to Spike] Didja get all that?
Spike: Yeah?
Rainbow Dash: Great! You write the letter, I've gotta finish this book! [bites]
Daring Do: [sounds of exertion]
[cranking]
Daring Do: [takes deep breaths] Another day, another dungeon!
Ahuizotl: [laughs evilly] With Daring Do out of the way, the world will suffer mightily at my hands. I am victorious! [laughs]
Daring Do: I'll take that!
Ahuizotl: Huh? Wha—? Noooooooo!
Daring Do: Better luck next time, Ahuizotl!
Ahuizotl: Curse you, Daring Do! [cries]
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] "And so, with Ahuizotl defeated, and the sapphire statue secured..."
Rainbow Dash: "...The world was safe and sound once again, thanks to Daring Do!" [sighs in admiration] 'Daring Do and the Griffon's Goblet'. Awesome!
[music]
[credits]

Hearts and Hooves Day

[indistinct chatter]
[school bell ringing]
Apple Bloom: Hmm... I just don't feel like it's quite finished.
Sweetie Belle: I know what you mean. If it's for Miss Cheerilee, it needs to be perfect. Hearts and Hooves Day only comes once a year, after all.
Scootaloo: I say we add a little more ribbon!
Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. And just a tiny bit more lace.
Apple Bloom: A few more hoof-prints.
Scootaloo: Glitter! It could definitely use just a little more glitter!
Apple Bloom: Now that'll show Miss Cheerilee how much we care about her. Just have to get it to the Hearts and Hooves party at school.
Scootaloo: I think we're gonna need a bigger envelope.
[theme song]
[indistinct chatter]
Diamond Tiara: I like the red ones.
Cheerilee: It's lovely. And so... big!
Apple Bloom: We just wanted to let you know that we think you're the best teacher in the whole wide world! And we think you're super! And that we love you so so much! And we want you to have the best Hearts and Hooves Day–
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo: Ever!
Cheerilee: Thank you so much, girls. I love it. I really do.
Sweetie Belle: I'm sure it's nothing compared to the gifts you've gotten from your... very special somepony.
Cheerilee: Oh, I don't have a very special somepony at the moment.
Apple Bloom: Really?
Sweetie Belle: How could somepony as amazing as you not have a very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day?
Cheerilee: It's alright, Sweetie Belle. I have lots of good friends and wonderful students who care about me very much. I'm gonna have an absolutely terrific Hearts and Hooves Day. Alright, everypony, who's ready to play "Pin the Heart on the Pony"?
[ponies excitedly volunteer]
Apple Bloom: If anypony deserves a very special somepony, it's her.
Sweetie Belle: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: Uh, you all right?
Sweetie Belle: I'm more than all right. I've just come up with the best idea ever. We're gonna find Miss Cheerilee a very special somepony.
Apple Bloom: That is the best idea ever.
Sweetie Belle: [singsong voice] Tooold yooou!
Apple Bloom: So what are we waiting for? Hearts and Hooves Day is almost over! Let's get out there and find somepony special for Cheerilee already.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Scootaloo: Let's do it!
Sweetie Belle: Now it can't be just anypony. Miss Cheerilee is one of the best mares in Ponyville. She deserves to have one of the best stallions as her very special somepony.
[Sweetie Belle]
Cheerilee is sweet and kind,
She's the best teacher we could hope for.
The perfect stallion you and I must find
One to really make her heart so-o-oar.
But...
This one's too young,
This one's too old.
He clearly has a terrible cold.
"Hay Fever": Achoo!
[Apple Bloom]
This guy's too silly.
He's way too uptight.
"Persnickety": I say!
[Sweetie Belle]
Well nothing's wrong with this one,
He seems alright...
Scootaloo: His girlfriend sure thinks so.
[Sweetie Belle]
How 'bout this one?
[Apple Bloom]
He's much too flashy.
[Scootaloo]
He might do!
[Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle]
If he weren't so splashy!
[Apple Bloom]
Too short.
[Sweetie Belle]
Too tall.
[Apple Bloom]
Too clean.
[Scootaloo]
Too smelly.
[Sweetie Belle]
Too strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [sigh]
[Apple Bloom]
I don't think that we're mistaken,
It seems all the good ones are taken.
[Sweetie Belle]
I really feel that at this rate,
We'll never find the perfect date.
[Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle]
Don't wanna quit and give up hope!
Scootaloo: Doing anything special for Hearts and Hooves Day?
[Sweetie Belle]
Oh please, oh please oh please say-
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [gasp]
[Sweetie Belle]
We did it girls,
We've found the one!
Who will send our teacher's heart aflutter!
Apple Bloom: Wait a minute. Lemme get this straight. Are you talkin' 'bout my brother?
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle is right. Big McIntosh is the perfect match for Miss Cheerilee. He's really nice, super hard-working.
Apple Bloom: Hmm... but he's also pretty shy. He's never gonna ask Miss Cheerilee to be his very special somepony.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe he doesn't have to.
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: If we can get Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee in a really romantic setting, I bet she'll ask him.
Scootaloo: Sounds like a plan to me.
Apple Bloom: So? What are we waitin' for? Let's get out there and create the perfect date!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Yay!
Sweetie Belle: Flowers. Don't forget the flowers.
Apple Bloom: Oops. I'm on it!
Scootaloo: [gasp] They're coming! This is gonna be perfect. Miss Cheerilee is gonna have the best Hearts and Hooves Day ever.
Sweetie Belle: With her new very special somepony.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Cheerilee: Hi, girls.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Hi, Miss Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: So you three said you needed help identifying a tree you found here near the gazebo?
[ricochet]
Cheerilee: [dryly] That's an apple tree.
Apple Bloom: Is it?
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Apple Bloom: Oh, sorry, big brother. We went and fixed up the gazebo all on our own. See?
Scootaloo: As long as you're here, why not have a bite to eat from this romantic-looking picnic? Oh gosh, seems like there's only room for two.
Apple Bloom: I guess we'll just be goin' then.
[gramophone playing]
Scootaloo: You really think this'll work?
Sweetie Belle: Of course it will work. They're perfect for each other.
Cheerilee: Beautiful day we're having.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Any big plans for tonight?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Apple Bloom: Oh, come on, Miss Cheerilee, ask him to be your very special somepony.
Sweetie Belle: [gasp] Ohmigosh, look.
Cheerilee: Big Mac...
Big McIntosh: Eeyup?
Cheerilee: You have something stuck in your teeth.
[record scratch]
Sweetie Belle: Aw, come on!
[record plays erratically]
Cheerilee: Well this has been... strange.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: I need to get going, but it's always great running into a good friend.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] Do you think it just wasn't romantic enough?
Scootaloo: Maybe it was too romantic.
Sweetie Belle: [sigh] Either way, we failed.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] There's gotta be somethin' else we could– UGH!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my goodness, I didn't even see you there. I'm so so sorry.
Apple Bloom: Aw, it's okay, Twilight. It was an accident.
Twilight Sparkle: I've just been reading the most fascinating book about Hearts and Hooves Day. Did you know that this holiday got its start because of a love potion?
Sweetie Belle: Did you say... a love potion?
Twilight Sparkle: That's right. It even has the recipe.
Sweetie Belle: I... don't suppose we could borrow that book for a little while, do ya?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course you can. I have another book here that I think you'll–
Sweetie Belle: [giggling] Take a tuft of cloud;
[splash]
Sweetie Belle: A bright rainbow's glow;
[vacuum noise]
Sweetie Belle: Stir with a Pegasus feather–
[plink]
Scootaloo: Hey!
Sweetie Belle: Fast, not slow.
Apple Bloom: Serve to two ponies who aren't in the know.
Apple Bloom: I feel kind of bad trickin' my brother and Miss Cheerilee this way.
Sweetie Belle: What's the problem? We all agreed these two are perfect for one another.
Scootaloo: Yeah, they just need a little nudge.
Sweetie Belle: And what could make them happier than being together, right?
Apple Bloom: Right!
Scootaloo: Oh, oh, here they come.
Apple Bloom: Hiya, Miss Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: Hello again, girls. Hello, Big Mac. Would you three like to tell us why it was so very important that we meet you here–
Sweetie Belle: Punch!
Cheerilee: Excuse me?
Sweetie Belle: Punch! We made punch. We were gonna set up a stand and try to sell it but, heh, we needed somepony to taste-test it first.
Apple Bloom: Yup.
Sweetie Belle: We thought you two would be perfect together. To test it. Together. So, uh, we'll just leave you two alone. Together, to test it. [giggling]
Cheerilee: I'm very sorry about this. I mentioned to the girls that I don't have a very special somepony, and I believe they're putting us in these awkward situations because they've decided it should be you.
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: [chuckling]
Cheerilee: I suppose we should just humor them for a moment. This punch does look delicious.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: I think they're gonna drink it.
Cheerilee: To good friends!
[glasses clink]
Scootaloo: They're drinking it. They're drinking it!
Big McIntosh and Cheerilee: [hiccup]
Scootaloo: They're looking into each other's eyes.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [giggling] They're about to be in for a big surprise!
Cheerilee: Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Yup?
Cheerilee: Will you be my very special somepony?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: YES!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [singsong voice] He's her special somepony! She's his special somepony!
Cheerilee: He's my special somepony.
Big McIntosh: Eeeeeyup.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: Aww!
Cheerilee: He's my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
Big McIntosh: You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie.
Apple Bloom: Did he just say–
Cheerilee: You're my cutie-patootie lovie-dovie honey-bunny.
Big McIntosh: You're my heartie-smartie smoochie-woochie baby-waby.
Apple Bloom: Big Mac! Hey! Hello! What's going on?
Sweetie Belle: Miss Cheerilee, are you alright?
Cheerilee: I have a special somepony. A kissy-wissy snuggy-wuggy sugar bear.
Sweetie Belle: I think we may have given them too big of a nudge.
Big McIntosh: You're my cuddly-wuddly boopsie-woopsie pumpkin pie.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Eugh!!
Scootaloo: Ya think?
Apple Bloom: What have we done?! My brother's actin' like a grade-A goofball!
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we added too much rainbow.
Scootaloo: Or maybe not enough cloud.
Sweetie Belle: Or maybe... uh-oh.
Apple Bloom: Whaddaya mean, "uh-oh?!"
Sweetie Belle: We might not have given Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee a love potion. We may have given them a love poison.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: What?!
Sweetie Belle: Apparently, some prince a long time ago whipped up this recipe and gave it to this princess he liked. He meant it to be a love potion, but things didn't turn out so well.
Apple Bloom: How "not so well" did things turn out?
Sweetie Belle: Well, there's something here about a dragon, the kingdom falling, chaos reigning... Okay, apparently it was all because the prince and princess were so lost in each other's eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties.
Apple Bloom: Great! We've not only turned Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee into a couple of nonsense-spoutin' nincompoops, we may have put all of Ponyville in jeopardy!
Scootaloo: Come on, Apple Bloom. Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac don't have any royal duties.
Apple Bloom: But they still got responsibilities. If we don't fix this... Oh no, Miss Cheerilee won't be able to teach. Big Mac won't be able to harvest any apples, and before you know it... Ponyville will be overrun with uneducated little ponies starvin' for apples. Oh, it'll be chaos! It'll be chaos!
Sweetie Belle: There's an antidote!
Apple Bloom: Well, why didn't you say so? Didn't you see me gettin' all panicked back there?
Sweetie Belle: If we can keep Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac from looking into each other's eyes for one full hour, the love curse will be broken.
Scootaloo: Only an hour? Pfh, we can pull that off in a second.
Cheerilee: You take the first sip, snuggle-wuggles.
Big McIntosh: No, you take it, schnoodle-dumplin'.
Cheerilee: No, you, shnooky-lumps.
Big McIntosh: No, you, pookie-pie.
Mrs. Cake: I'm all for romance, but this has been going on for hours. What's happened to these two?
Sweetie Belle: [nervous chuckle] Who knows?
Mrs. Cake: Well, these lovebirds will probably be planning a wedding soon. I can always use the catering business.
Sweetie Belle: A wedding! That's it! Miss Cheerilee and Big Mac should get married!
Apple Bloom: How is gettin' hitched gonna keep them apart?
Sweetie Belle: They aren't really gonna get married. They're just gonna get ready to get married.
Cheerilee: [chuckle] No, you, biscuit-wiscuit bear!
Big McIntosh: Nope, you, huggy-wuggy snuggy bunny!
Sweetie Belle: Hi, Miss Cheerilee, how are you?
Cheerilee: I have a very special somepony.
[clank]
Big McIntosh: I have a very special somepony.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, we noticed.
[squeaking]
Sweetie Belle: Gosh, you two are so in love, the next thing you know, you'll be getting married.
[smack]
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: Married?!
Sweetie Belle: That's right. Maaarriiied.
Cheerilee and Big McIntosh: Married...
Apple Bloom: [gagging] Ugh!
[squeaking]
Apple Bloom: 'Course, if you're gonna get married, you wanna pick out a really nice diamond for your – ugh! – shmoopy-doopy, uh, pookie-pie.
Big McIntosh: Diamond!
Cheerilee: [distressed] Shmoopy!
Scootaloo: Don't you think you should start looking for your wedding dress? You'll wanna look your best for your... [straining] honey-bunny snuggle-baby.
[spring]
Cheerilee: Oh! Dress!
[crash]
Sweetie Belle: Now we just need to keep them apart. I'll keep Miss Cheerilee occupied. You two do the same with Big Mac.
Apple Bloom: No problem.
[clock ticking]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Sweetie Belle: Meet you back at the clubhouse in an hour when this whole mess is over.
Sweetie Belle: This one looks nice. Better try it on though.
[furniture clattering]
Sweetie Belle: Ten minutes down, fifty minutes to go.
[flapping]
Apple Bloom: No.
[flapping]
Apple Bloom: No.
[flapping]
Apple Bloom: Not that one either.
[flapping]
Apple Bloom: No.
[flapping]
Apple Bloom: Too... shiny. No. You know, somethin' less... shiny.
"Karat": Mmm.
Apple Bloom: Miss Cheerilee deserves the best. How much time is left? I'm runnin' out of ways to make diamonds sound bad.
Scootaloo: We still have twenty five minutes.
Apple Bloom: [sigh] [anxious] Where's my brother?
"Karat": He made his purchase and departed out the back. Said something about needing to see his... shmoopy-shmoo.
Scootaloo: Ugh.
Apple Bloom: [gagging]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: Okay, I'll see what I can do to slow him down. You go on to Carousel Boutique and warn Sweetie Belle.
[wheels creaking]
Apple Bloom: Huh–
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Scootaloo: [gasping]
Sweetie Belle: What's wrong? Where's Apple Bloom? Where's Big Mac?
Scootaloo: On [gasp] his [grunt] way. Gotta [grunt] keep him [gasp] out of boutique.
Apple Bloom: Huh?
[creaking]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Scootaloo: Move away!
Apple Bloom: He'll get to her! He's too strong!
Sweetie Belle: Let him go!
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo– Whoa!
Scootaloo: [sigh] I sure am glad you found those shovels.
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: One more minute and the spell will be broken!
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
Cheerilee: Sweetums?!
[crash]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
[crash]
Big McIntosh: Shmoopy-doo!
[clock-tower bell chimes]
[clock ticking]
[crash]
Apple Bloom: Aaaa–
[smack]
[clock-tower bell chimes]
Apple Bloom: Oh, please be normal, please be normal.
Cheerilee: Am I wearing a wedding veil?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Are you sitting on a feather bed in a hole in the ground?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cheerilee: Girls! Can you explain why I look like I'm getting married at the bottom of a pit?
Sweetie Belle: We may have given you the teeny-tiniest bit of love potion... that may have turned out to actually be a love poison, and you may have gone just a teeny-tiniest bit nutty.
Apple Bloom: But we only did it because we thought you and Big Mac would be really happy if you could be each others very special someponies on Hearts and Hooves Day.
Scootaloo: Our hearts and hooves were in the right place.
Cheerilee: We appreciate that you care about us and want us to be happy but–
Apple Bloom: But no matter how good our intentions might have been, we shoulda never meddled in your relationship.
Scootaloo: Nopony can force two ponies to be together.
Sweetie Belle: It's up to everypony to choose that very special somepony for themselves.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: We're sorry.
Cheerilee: And you can think about how sorry you are while you're doing all of Big Mac's chores at Sweet Apple Acres. Does that seem like a fair punishment to you?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [sigh]
Apple Bloom: Hey there, Miss Cheerilee! What are you doin' here?
Cheerilee: Since you three are doing all of his chores, Big Mac and I thought we'd have a picnic at the gazebo. Ready, sugar bear?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup, pumpkin pie.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle: [gasp] NOOOOO!!!
[music]
[credits]

A Friend in Deed

[dance music]
Pinkie Pie: Let's do this!
Pinkie Pie: [wibbles tongue] Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Happy! Sad. Open, shut, open, shut, open, shut, open, shut. Yep, yep-yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. Nope, nope-nope-nope-nope-nope-nope. Oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooo, oooweooweooweoo! [blows raspberry] [panting]
[pinch noise]
Pumpkin Cake: [baby noises] [laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Nailed it!
[theme song]
[rooster crows]
Pinkie Pie: Morning, DaisyJo! You here to pick up some cookies to go with your milk?
DaisyJo: Oh ya, Pinkie, don'tcha know?
Pinkie Pie: Well, Mrs. Cake just baked a fresh batch of your favorite oatmeal.
DaisyJo: Mooo, sounds delightful!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rose, your Calla lilies look even better than last year! I bet you'll take first prize at the flower show again.
Rose: Thanks, Pinkie! Would you like one?
Pinkie Pie: Absolutely! [chomps] Looking fit as a fiddle, Mr. Waddle, and you're wearing my favorite tie!
Mr. Waddle: Aw, shucks, Miss Pinkie, you flatterer you.
Pinkie Pie: Well, happy birthday, Cheerilee.
Cheerilee: Thank you, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Happy day-after-your-birthday, Zecora!
Zecora: What a lovely hi, Miss Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: And Miss Matilda, happy birthday to you... in one hundred and thirty two days!
Matilda: Pinkie Pie! How do you remember everything about everypony?
Pinkie Pie: 'Cause everypony's my friend and I love to see my friends smile!
[Pinkie Pie]
My name is Pinkie Pie (Hello!)
And I am here to say (How ya doin'?)
I'm gonna make you smile and I will brighten up your day
It doesn't matter now (What's up?)
If you are sad or blue (Howdy!)
'Cause cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie's here to do
'Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile
Yes I do
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while
Yes it does
'Cause all I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of mine
I like to see you grin (Awesome!)
I love to see you beam (Rock on!)
The corners of your mouth turned up is always Pinkie's dream (Hoof bump!)
But if you're kind of worried
And your face has made a frown
I'll work real hard and do my best to turn that sad frown upside down
'Cause I love to make you grin, grin, grin
Yes I do
Bust it out from ear to ear let it begin
Just give me a joyful grin, grin, grin
And you fill me with good cheer
It's true some days are dark and lonely
And maybe you feel sad
But Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad
There's one thing that makes me happy and makes my whole life worthwhile
And that's when I talk to my friends and get them to smile
I really am so happy
Your smile fills me with glee
I give a smile I get a smile
And that's so special to me
'Cause I love to see you beam, beam, beam
Yes I do
Tell me what more can I say
To make you see
That I do
It makes me happy when you beam, beam, beam
Yes it always makes my day
Come on everypony smile, smile, smile
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine
All I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of mine
[Choir and Pinkie Pie]
Come on everypony smile, smile, smile
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine
All I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of mine
[Pinkie Pie]
Yes the perfect gift for me
Is a smile as wide as a mile
To make me happy as can be
[Choir]
Come on everypony smile, smile, smile
Fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine
All I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of
[Choir and Pinkie Pie]
Smile, smile, smile, smile, smile
[Pinkie Pie]
Come on and smile
Come on and smile
Pinkie Pie: I've never seen you before.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Kid, you're smarter than you look.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks! I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name? "Property of C.D.D." I'm guessing that last "D" is for "Donkey".
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Quick as a whip, kid.
Pinkie Pie: Now, how 'bout that "C"? Hmm... Calvin? Calhoun? Caleb? Carl? Carmine? Carlo? Charlie? Chester? Chico? Claudio? Cletus? Clifford? Coraline? Cornelius? Cortez? Crank? Christopher–?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Cranky! It's Cranky, alright?!
Pinkie Pie: And your middle name?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [mumbles] Doodle.
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [quickly] Doodle.
Pinkie Pie: One more time...!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [sighs] Doodle.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] So you're a Cranky Doodle Donkey?
[Pinkie Pie]
You're a Cranky Doodle Donkey guy.
A Cranky Doodle Donkey.
I never met you but you're my new friend
and I'm your best friend Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: C'mon now, Doodle, give a smile!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Nopony calls me Doodle!
Pinkie Pie: What just happened? Meet somepony new, check. Introduce myself, check. Sing random song outta nowhere, check. Become instant best friends... uncheck. I don't get it. How can somepony not become instant best friends with me? Was it something I said? Was it something I sang? This is no time for the blame game, Pinkie! There's somepony new in town, and you need to win him over! 'Try everything you can to make Cranky smile and be your friend'... Check!
Pinkie Pie: Alright, Pinkie. If you're gonna win Cranky's friendship, you're gonna have to bring your A game! Let's do this. Howdy-doody, Cranky Doodle! So, uh, are you moving to Ponyville, Cranky?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: What gave you the hint there, kid? The cart full of stuff, maybe?
Pinkie Pie: Well, I'd be happy to show you around. It's the least a new friend can do.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Listen, kid, I traveled around Equestria my entire life. I've made many friends. I don't need any more.
Pinkie Pie: Gosh! I could never have too many friends!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Well, why don't you go and make some more?
Pinkie Pie: But I don't need to go when I can stay and make friends... with you.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Look, kid, y–
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Cranky, you can call me Pinkie. All of my friends do.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Look, kid, I came to Ponyville for some peace and quiet and privacy, to be alone with my memories. All I want is to get to my new home and unpack my stuff.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, what does this bauble do?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Don't touch that!
Pinkie Pie: Ooooooh, what's this?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Please, don't!
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, look at these!
[windchimes chime]
Pinkie Pie: Eeeheeeheee!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie! Keep your hooves off my wagon!
Pinkie Pie: Okay, Cranky. [gasps] [quickly] I promised not to touch your wagon, so I brought one of my own! I use it to welcome folks!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Who'd'a guessed?
Pinkie Pie: Maybe we can be wagon buddies! Well, you've gotta at least let me give you the special welcome that comes with it... [whimper]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [groans] Let's get this over with.
Pinkie Pie: That's the spirit!
[Pinkie Pie]
Welcome welcome welcome
A fine welcome to you
Welcome welcome welcome
I say how do you do?
Welcome welcome welcome
I say hip hip hurray
Welcome welcome welcome
To Ponyville today
Pinkie Pie: Wait for it!
[ding]
[party kazoos blow]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Noooo!
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, silly me! I must've put the confetti in the oven and the cake in the confetti cannons! Again! [giggles] [chomps] Mmm, still delicious! Try some, Cranky, it's sure to make you smile.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, where is it, where is it?
Pinkie Pie: Where's what? [yelps] Spider! Big hairy spider!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Stop, stop, stop!
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Was that your wig?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [growls]
Pinkie Pie: I can fix this, I can fix this! [through megaphone] Hey, everypony! Does anypony have a toupee?!
Ponies: [Huh?, Toupee?, etc.]
Pinkie Pie: This donkey is really, really, bald!
Ponies: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: [through megaphone] What's so funny? This is serious business, everypony! Cranky needs a new wig to cover his hairless head!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I have had enough!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, you're losing him, Pinkie. Wait, Cranky! Please, let me make it up to you!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
Pinkie Pie: Please! Oh, please please please... [fades out]
Pinkie Pie: Ladies, this is a spa emergency. Cranky needs help, STAT.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Cranky! I have a gift for you!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: The spa treatment was gift enough.
Pinkie Pie: It's not going to explode or anything. Promise. Just open it! It's a new toupee! I had my friend Rarity make it. She calls it the "dreamboat special".
Cranky Doodle Donkey: This is wonderful. Thanks, kid.
Pinkie Pie: He's starting to warm up, but still no smile. Hmmm.
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Whatcha doing there, ol' buddy ol' pal?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: What's it look like?
Pinkie Pie: Looks like a yard sale. I'll give you two bits for this!
[snow globe jingles]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I'm not selling, kid. I'm unpacking.
Pinkie Pie: Well, why didn't you say so?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I thought I had.
Pinkie Pie: This is so pretty! Where'd you get it?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Manehattan. Now put it down, gently.
Pinkie Pie: Really? What were you doin' there?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Trying to find a friend.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, I'm always trying to find friends, and today I found you. See how good I am at it?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: This was a special friend.
Pinkie Pie: Like me?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, you're extra special, kid.
Pinkie Pie: [to herself] Yes! I'm in! [to Cranky] Woow, where in Equestria did you get this, Cranky?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Fillydelphia.
Pinkie Pie: It's awfully pretty.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Yes, she was.
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I mean, it was– I mean, it is. Yes, it's pretty. Now put it down!
Pinkie Pie: I wonder where Cranky got this. Huh. Will you look at that? Hey, Cranky! Can I ask you about–
[crunch]
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Oh no!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: What did you say-ayayayayay! What have you done?!
Pinkie Pie: There! Uh, all better?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, not all better, all soggy!
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry, Cranky!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, you're sorry! Well, then, everything is fine!
Pinkie Pie: ...It is?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No! It isn't! Listen to me, kid, I will never be your friend!
Pinkie Pie: Never, or never-ever?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!
[door slams]
Pinkie Pie: That's four 'evers'. That's like... forever!
Pinkie Pie: I just can't believe it. Cranky said he would never forever be my friend. It was horrible.
Twilight Sparkle: I know this is hard for you, Pinkie, seeing that you're friends with everypony, but you just have to accept that Cranky is gonna be an exception. He just... doesn't want to be bothered.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, he doesn't want to be bothered by your over-the-top super-hyper antics.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!
Pinkie Pie: No, no, it's okay, Twilight. I get what you're saying. What you're both saying. And I guess... I can leave Cranky alone. ...Right after he accepts my apology!
Pinkie Pie: Cranky!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No! No! Leave me alone!
Pinkie Pie: Wait! I understand that you don't want me as a friend!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, I don't!
Pinkie Pie: So I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Fine! You said it!
Pinkie Pie: But do you accept my apology?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Cranky! Please accept my apology! Please!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No!
Pinkie Pie: But I'm really, really, really...
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: ...really, really...
[engines revving]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Phew!
Pinkie Pie: ...really, really, really... ...really, really, really... ...really, really, really... ...really, really, really, really... [continues saying "really", speed increases until] ...sorry!
[sound of locks and chains]
[six knocks]
Pinkie Pie: Cranky, please, please accept my apology! I'd do anything to make it up to you!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: But there's nothing you can do! You ruined my book! You destroyed all I have to remember her by!
Pinkie Pie: Her? Her who? The special friend?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Go away, Pinkie! [sighs]
[knocks]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Cranky? It's me again. I understand that you don't wanna be my friend or accept my apology... Before I leave you alone forever, I have something to at least try to make up for ruining your book.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: No, I don't want it, kid! Anything you would give me is sure to lead to some sort of disaster!
Matilda: [muffled] Goodness, you really are cranky.
[locks and chains jangling]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: It can't be... Is it really you?
Matilda: It can, and it is.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Matilda! But how?
Matilda: Pinkie.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: But... I never told you about her!
Pinkie Pie: You didn't have to. I put two and two and two together and it added up to Matilda.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: What?
Pinkie Pie: Well, when you were talking about your souvenirs, you said something about trying to find a special friend! And y'know, I wasn't just born yesterday. Nuh-uh! My birthday isn't for another seventy five days!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: And then, in your scrapbook, there was a flower, an old ticket, and a menu from the Grand Galloping Gala! And I knew I recognized all these things.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: But how could you have ever seen them before?
Matilda: Because I also have them in my scrapbook.
Pinkie Pie: And I'd seen them in Matilda's book!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, Matilda. The night we met at the Gala was the most magical night of my life.
[old timey music begins]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [voiceover] I couldn't wait to see you again. But when I came to your room the next day, you were gone.
Matilda: [voiceover] Didn't you get my note?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [voiceover] No, I never got it. Ever since that day I've gone from town to town to town, searching all over Equestria for you...
Cranky Doodle Donkey: ...Until finally I gave up. I came to Ponyville to retire from my search.
Matilda: I was living in Ponyville the whole time. I always hoped that some day you would come and find me... Doodle.
Pinkie Pie: Uh. Matilda? Nopony calls him Doodle.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Nopony... but Matilda. Mmm.
Matilda: Oh, Doodle, I'm so happy to see you. [kisses]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [braying]
Pinkie Pie: So does this mean that you accept my apology?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Yes, Pinkie, I accept your apology, and I am honored to call you my friend.
Pinkie Pie: [explodes like a firework] Woo-hoo! This is just fantastic! Ooh, now we can hang out together and chat and sing songs and [gasps] party! Oh, I have to throw you guys a big party! It'll be called the 'Welcome to Ponyville/I Found My Lost Love/I'm BFF's with Pinkie Pie' Party! ...Or maybe something less over-the-top and not so super-hyper.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie, we're eternally grateful to you. But... Matilda and I just want to spend some time together in peace and quiet.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Um, but we're still friends?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Pinkie, you went way, way, way out of your way to make me happy. Of course we're friends.
Pinkie Pie: Great!
Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia,
There are many different kinds of friends, and many ways to express friendship. Some friends like to run and laugh and play together. But others just like to be left alone, and that's fine too. But the best thing about friendship is being able to make your friends smile.
[Pinkie Pie]
He had a Cranky Doodle sweetheart
She's his cranky doodle joy
I helped the Cranky Doodle boy, yeah!
I helped the Cranky Doodle boy!
Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Whoops, privacy. Sorry.
[Yankee Doodle Dandy plays over credits]

Putting Your Hoof Down

[bell rings]
Fluttershy: Lunch time! Who's hungry?
[animals chittering]
Fluttershy: Plenty for everypony. Slow down, sweetie. [giggles]
Angel: [thumps on ground]
Fluttershy: Here you go, Angel bunny.
Angel: [continues thumping]
Fluttershy: Okay, Mister Picky-pants, you win. Carrots, lettuce and apples, yum-yum-yum!
[crash]
Fluttershy: What? But... Well then, what will you eat? I'm not sure I can even make that. Well... I don't want you to starve... Oh, are you sure I can't tempt you with a nice crisp piece of–
[smack]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I'll make your special recipe.
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Hmm, let's see. Asparagus. Excuse me, um, I think you just stepped in front of me? Excuse me, I think you made a mistake? You see I was actually here first and–
Lucy Packard: Sorry, didn't notice you there.
Fluttershy: I know.
Sand Trap: [chuckles]
Fluttershy: Oh, pardon me, sir–
Sand Trap: Yes, what?
Fluttershy: I think you just cut in front of me.
Sand Trap: A cut of celery? But– this is the asparagus stand!
Fluttershy: I said [into ear trumpet] I think you just cut in front of me.
Sand Trap: Ohoh, no need, dearie, I'm already in front!
Fluttershy: I noticed.
"Turf": [fades in] ...And I was like, 'Oh, wow.'
Fluttershy: Hey!
"Turf": Would you mind moving back? You're in my personal space.
Fluttershy: But–
"Surf": Seriously, do you need your asparagus so badly? Get a life.
Fluttershy: Oh, okay. There's no rush.
Rarity: Fluttershy, you mustn't let them treat you that way.
Fluttershy: Oh, it's-it's really no big deal...
Pinkie Pie: It's bigger than big. It's double big. You are a pony with a problem.
Fluttershy: What problem? Oh, go right ahead, Pinkie Pie. You first.
Pinkie Pie: Right there! That's the problem.
Rarity: You've got to stop being such a doormat.
Fluttershy: A doormat?
Rarity: A pushover, darling. You've got to stand up for yourself, promise us.
Fluttershy: Oh, okay. I promise. Oh! Good!
[bit clinking]
Fluttershy: Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.
Rarity: Watch and learn. Hold it right there, Mister small and handsome.
Gizmo: Uh, who, me?
Rarity: Oh, of course you. Nopony ever called you handsome before?
Gizmo: Uhh, that'd be a big no.
Rarity: Oh, well, they should! How about flexing some of your muscles for me? [gasps] Oh, my heavens! Do you think a strong, handsome stallion such as yourself could give my friend the last asparagus?
[bit clinking]
Gizmo: [mumbles] Nuhh.
Rarity: See, that's not so hard, is it?
Fluttershy: Um... I guess not.
Rarity: Alright then! What else is on your list?
Fluttershy: Let's see... I also need tomatoes.
[bit clinking]
Fluttershy: Here you go.
"Roma": [clears throat] That'll be two bits. Not one.
Fluttershy: Oh, but last week, it was only one bit.
"Roma": That was then, this is now.
Fluttershy: Oh, okay. I don't wanna argue about it.
Pinkie Pie: What do you think you're doing?
"Roma": Mindin' my own business, maybe you should try it.
Pinkie Pie: Two bits for tomatoes is outrageous. One bit is the right price.
"Roma": I say it's two bits.
Pinkie Pie: One bit.
"Roma": Two bits!
Pinkie Pie: One bit!
"Roma": Two bits!
Pinkie Pie: One bit!
"Roma": Two bits!
Pinkie Pie: Two bits!
"Roma": One bit!
Pinkie Pie: Two bits!
"Roma": One bit!
Pinkie Pie: I insist it's two bits or nothing!
"Roma": One bit and that's my final offer!
Pinkie Pie: Have it your way, one bit it is!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: See? Asserting yourself can be fun!
Fluttershy: I guess you're right!
Rarity: So, Fluttershy, do you feel like giving it a try?
Fluttershy: Um... okay. [to self] I need that cherry. [to Crafty Crate] Boy, am I glad you have one cherry left. You see, I'm making this special meal for my bunny Angel. He's a very picky eater, and the recipe calls for a cherry on top.
[bit clinking]
Fluttershy: Here you go.
Crafty Crate: So, you say you need this cherry 'very badly'.
Fluttershy: Oh, yes, I'm desperate for it!
Crafty Crate: Then it'll be ten bits!
Fluttershy: Ten?! Oh, hey, mister handsome, I know you wanna do the right thing because you're handsome and strong, and big, handsome, strong guys are always nice to everypony, right?
Crafty Crate: Ten bits for the cherry.
Fluttershy: Ten bits for one cherry's outrageous! I insist on paying you... eleven bits!
Crafty Crate: Eleven bits?
Fluttershy: Umm...I mean, nine bits!
Crafty Crate: Er, now wait a minute.
Fluttershy: Okay, twelve bits, but that's my final offer!
Crafty Crate: I think you're confused.
Fluttershy: It's twelve bits, take it or leave it.
Crafty Crate: Okay, I'll take it!
Pinkie Pie: Don't give him your money! One cherry is not worth twelve bits!
Fluttershy: But... I was only doing what you did.
Rarity: It was a valiant effort, but you should refuse to give him your business and just walk away.
Fluttershy: But... I can't let Angel starve! He won't eat it unless I make it just right! I need that cherry no matter what it costs!
Crafty Crate: In that case, twenty bits!
Fluttershy: Twenty?! Oh, but, I don't have that much!
Crafty Crate: Then why're you wasting my time?
Lemon Hearts: I'll give you two bits for that cherry!
Crafty Crate: Sold! Eh, tough break, kid. Next time, don't be such a doormat.
Willful Lighting Tech: [bleats]
Fluttershy: Ta-da! Here you go, Angel. Sorry there's no cherry on top, but the rest of it is exactly what you wanted. Angel? [sighs] Look at me... I really am a doormat. "The incredible Iron Will turns doormats into dynamos. Assertiveness seminar today, hedge maze centre." As Celestia is my witness, I'm never gonna be a pushover again!
[ponies chattering]
Fluttershy: Oh! Ah! Uh... excuse me! [squeaks]
[kick]
[thump]
[music starts]
Willful Lighting Tech: [bleats]
Willful Stage Manager: [bleats]
[fireworks explode]
[ponies cheering]
Iron Will: [kissing] Welcome, friends! My name is Iron Will, and today is the first day of your new life! I wanna hear you stomp if you're tired of being a pushover!
[ponies stomping and cheering]
Iron Will: Stomp if you're tired of being a doormat!
[ponies stomping and cheering]
Iron Will: Stomp if you wanna pay nothing for this seminar!
[ponies stomping and cheering – cheering slows, turns into general confusion, then laughter]
Iron Will: That's no joke, friends. Iron Will is so confident that you will be one hundred percent satisfied with Iron Will's assertiveness techniques, that if you are not one hundred percent satisfied, you. Pay. Nothing. But I pity the fool who doubts Iron Will's methods! You don't doubt me, do you?
Meadow Song: Uh-uh, no sir...
Ponies: [general agreement]
Iron Will: That, my friends, is your first lesson. "Don't be shy; look 'em in the eye."
[ponies chattering]
Iron Will: Now, to demonstrate that Iron Will's techniques will work for anypony, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
Willful Stage Manager: [bleats]
Willful Lighting Tech: [bleats]
Iron Will: You in the back row!
Fluttershy: Who, me?
Iron Will: Yes, you! Iron Will wants you onstage!
Fluttershy: [gulps] Uh, well...
Iron Will: Now!
Fluttershy: [whispering] Okay.
Iron Will: Whoaa! He's blocking your path. What are you gonna do about it?
Fluttershy: Um, politely walk around him?
Iron Will: No.
Fluttershy: Gingerly tip-toe around him?
Iron Will: No!
Fluttershy: Go back home and try again tomorrow?
Iron Will: No! "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Fluttershy: Oh! Sorry.
Iron Will: Don't be sorry! Be assertive! "Never apologize when you can criticize." [clears throat] why don't you watch where you're going!? Now, you try.
Fluttershy: Uh... next time, get out of the way before... I bump into you, 'cause... I totally won't be sorry when I do!
[cha-ching]
Iron Will: You see my friends!? If my techniques can work for this shy, little pony, then they can work for anypony!
[crowd cheers]
Fluttershy: Okay, I feel good. I feel ready to "attack the day", as Iron Will says.
[water spraying]
Mr. Greenhooves: [humming]
Fluttershy: Excuse me, Mr. Greenhooves, but I-I think you might be over-watering my petunias...
Mr. Greenhooves: [chuckles]
Fluttershy: ...again.
Mr. Greenhooves: Let the professional handle it. [humming]
Fluttershy: "Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over."
Mr. Greenhooves: Hm? Hmm... [coughs and sputters] Well, perhaps that is enough water.
Fluttershy: Thank you. [excited giggle] I can't believe it worked!
Cherry Berry: Showpony business is tough.
Sweetie Drops: Go ahead, try one of your jokes out on me. I laugh at everything.
Cherry Berry: Okay, okay, okay. A donkey and a mule are stuck on a desert island...
Fluttershy: [clears throat] Excuse me? Would you mind moving your carts so I can pass?
Cherry Berry: Yeah yeah, in a minute, I just wanna finish up this story. And so the donkey says to the mule–
Fluttershy: A-hemmmm, can you move? You're blocking my path.
Cherry Berry: Yeah yeah, in a minute! So the donkey says to the mule... [fades under] (Why don't we build a boat to get off this island? [laughs])
Fluttershy: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Cherry Berry: ...and the mule says–
[splat]
Cherry Berry: Ugh! Easy does it, lady. We're moving, okay?
Fluttershy: Good!
Pinkie Pie: Who's next please? And what can I get for you today?
Fluttershy: What do you think you're doing?! Didn't you see me?
Shoeshine: Uh, I guess maybe.
Fluttershy: 'Maybe'? "Maybes are for babies!" [growling] Now go to the back of the line where you belong!
[ponies gasp]
[VCR rewind sound]
Pinkie Pie: Heyyy, look at you!
Rarity: Oh, your attitude is so feisty, it's fabulous.
Pinkie Pie: Looks like that monster's workshop really paid off!
Fluttershy: Iron Will's not a monster. He's a minotaur, and a true inspiration. His techniques really work.
Rarity: Well, they've certainly made a difference in the way you carry yourself. You truly are a whole new Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Yes I am. And new Fluttershy feels pretty stoked about new Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie: Well, old Pinkie Pie feels really proud of new Fluttershy. Proud as pink punch. Want some? [giggles]
Fluttershy: "You laugh at me, I wrath at you!"
[crash]
Fluttershy: Bye, girls. What a day. Taxi! Oh no you don't. "Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!"
[fight sounds]
Royal Riff: Aieeeeee! Ow...
Fluttershy: Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around! [screams] Nopony!
Pinkie Pie: Old Pinkie Pie is not so sure new Fluttershy is such a good idea after all.
Rarity: Old Rarity agrees.
Fluttershy: You got this, new Fluttershy! This day is yours! And nopony's gonna take it away from you! Am I right?! Right! What?! He's delivered the wrong mail, again!
"Mr. Zippy": Oh–
Fluttershy: And new Fluttershy does not want the wrong mail delivered to her cottage.
"Mr. Zippy": Ohh, did I mix 'em up again? Sorry about that.
Fluttershy: "You apologize, I penalize!"
[crash]
"Mr. Zippy": Oh!
[stamp]
Fluttershy: [bites]
[mail cart zooms in and out]
Globe Trotter: Excuse me, do you know how to get to the Ponyville tower?
Fluttershy: [muffled] Sure, you just– [gasps]
Globe Trotter: Oh, that's a shame.
Fluttershy: [growls] "You make me lose, I blow my fuse!"
Globe Trotter: Hey!
[bell ringing]
Rarity: Fluttershy! What are you doing?! That's no way to behave!
Fluttershy: Didn't you see what he did to new Fluttershy? And he thought new Fluttershy was a pushover!
Rarity: No, sweetie, he didn't. We saw the whole thing. We think that you've taken your assertiveness training a little too far.
Fluttershy: What?! You just want new Fluttershy to be a doormat like old Fluttershy! But old Fluttershy is gone!
Pinkie Pie: New Fluttershy? Old Fluttershy!?
Rarity: What happened to nice Fluttershy? We want that Fluttershy back.
Fluttershy: No, you want wimp Fluttershy. You want pushover Fluttershy. You want do-anything-to-her-and-she-won't-complain Fluttershy!
Pinkie Pie: Nyaaaaah! Too many Fluttershys to keep track of! Make it stop!
Fluttershy: Things getting too complicated for your simple little brain, Pinkie Pie?
Rarity: Now, stop right there! Let's not let things descend into petty insults!
Fluttershy: Why not? I thought 'petty' was what you're all about, Rarity. With your 'petty' concerns about fashion.
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, leave her alone! Fashion is her passion!
Fluttershy: Oh, and what are you passionate about? Birthday cake? Party hats? I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!
Pinkie Pie: [starts crying] Looks like nasty Fluttershy is here to stay!
Rarity: [starts crying] I cannot believe what that monster Iron Will has done to you!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [crying]
Fluttershy: Iron Will's not a monster, he's a minotaur! [growls] [whimper] I'm the monster.
[wind blows]
[wolf howls]
Rarity: [knocks, clears throat] Fluttershy, are you in there?
Pinkie Pie: It's Pinkie Pie and Rarity!
Fluttershy: [muffled] Go away! Go away before nasty Fluttershy strikes again!
Rarity: Oh, sweetie, we all said things that we regret.
Pinkie Pie: We did?
Rarity: Shh.
Fluttershy: [muffled] Pinkie's right. I'm the only one to blame. [normal] But don't worry, I'm never coming out of my house again. Everypony will be a lot safer with me and my mean mouth locked away.
Rarity: [muffled] Sweetie, [normal] Pinkie Pie doesn't blame you, nor do I. You just received some bad advice from that Iron Will character.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! He's the one that made you act super-duper nasty. What I mean is, there are other ways to assert yourself besides yelling at everypony.
Rarity: Yes! [muffled] You can stand up for yourself without being unpleasant about it.
Fluttershy: I-I'm not sure I can. I'm too far gone. Whenever I try to assert myself, I become a monster.
[lightning strikes]
Rarity: Oh, sweetie, you're not a monster.
Pinkie Pie: No, but he is.
Iron Will: Iron Will's my name, training ponies is my game.
[pause]
Rarity: What a darling little catchphrase.
Iron Will: Your friend Fluttershy loved Iron Will's catchphrases. Word on the street is that she doesn't take no guff from nopony! So, Iron Will is here to collect Iron Will's fee.
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy is in no shape to deal with that creep!
Rarity: [gasps] I'm sure a big, brave, powerful, and rich monster– I mean, minotaur like you doesn't need that money right away. You can afford to come back later.
Iron Will: Are you kidding? Fluttershy is overdue as it is. Iron Will collects now.
[thud]
Rarity: Do something!
[wood crunching]
Pinkie Pie: We're not even sure Fluttershy is home right now. Uh, she might be off frolicking with some woodland creatures. Uh, why don't you give us some time to track her down for ya?
Iron Will: Iron Will does have some grocery shopping to do. Iron Will will come back this afternoon.
Pinkie Pie: But that's only half a day. We need one full day at least.
Iron Will: Iron Will will delay for half a day and no longer!
Pinkie Pie: A full day!
Iron Will: Half day!
Pinkie Pie: Full day!
Iron Will: Half day!
Pinkie Pie: Half day!
Iron Will: Full day!
Pinkie Pie: We need half a day and no more!
Iron Will: Well, you'll get a full day and no less!
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie. See you tomorrow.
Iron Will: Wait, what?
Fluttershy: [sneezes]
Iron Will: Huh, sounds like the search won't be necessary. Iron Will collects now.
Pinkie Pie: But we had an agreement! You gotta come back tomorrow!
Iron Will: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: [spits]
Willful Stage Manager: [munching]
[crunch]
Iron Will: Your payment is overdue, Fluttershy! [knocks]
[door opens]
Iron Will: [snorts] You were nothing but a doormat, and Iron Will turned you into a lean, mean, assertive machine! Now, pay Iron Will what you owe Iron Will!
Fluttershy: Um, no.
Willful Stage Manager: [munching]
Willful Lighting Tech: [simultaneously bleats]
Iron Will: What did you say?
Fluttershy: No.
Iron Will: Ohhh, I'd hate to be you right now, because Iron Will is gonna to rain down a world of hurt unless Iron Will gets his money pronto! [snorts]
Fluttershy: As I recall, during your workshop you promised one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, or you pay nothing. Well, I'm not satisfied.
Iron Will: What do you mean you're not satisfied?! Everypony has always been satisfied!
Fluttershy: Well, I guess I'm the first then. But since I'm not satisfied, I refuse to pay. It's as simple as that.
[goats bleating]
Iron Will: Ohh, are you... sure you're not just a little bit satisfied? B-because maybe... we could cut a deal. I-I mean we're both reasonable creatures, aren't we?
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, but no means no.
Iron Will: No means no, huh? Nopony's ever said that to me before. Huh... I gotta remember that one. That's a good catchphrase for my next workshop.
[goat bleating]
Pinkie Pie: You were amazing, Fluttershy! You totally stood up to that monster!
Rarity: In fact, you didn't change at all! You were the same old Fluttershy that we've always loved!
Pinkie Pie: The one we missed!
Fluttershy: Don't worry, old Fluttershy's back for good. I'm sorry I took the whole assertiveness thing too far. Friends?
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Friends.
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [laughing]
Fluttershy: Dear Princess Celestia,
Sometimes it can be hard for a shy pony like me to stand up for myself, and when I first tried it, I didn't like the pony I became. But I've learned that standing up for yourself isn't the same as changing who you are. Now I know how to put my hoof down without being unpleasant or mean.
[music]
[credits]

It's About Time

Spike: [sighs] I made it for you, Rarity. Why, yes, it is an ice cream house. Chocolate fudge shingles... rocky road garage...
[hoof-steps echoing]
Spike: Huh? Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Hi, Spike.
Spike: It's the middle of the night! Why are you pacing like this?
Twilight Sparkle: Frankly, I don't know how you can sleep at a time like this!
Spike: Three A.M.?
Twilight Sparkle: It's awful, it's horrible, it's tragic!
Spike: Eh... I don't understand. What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Here. Now do you see what's wrong?
Spike: We forgot to celebrate Arbor Day?
Twilight Sparkle: No, the problem is I just finished planning my schedule for the month, but I forgot to leave time to plan for next month! Don't you see? There's no time in my schedule to put together another schedule! I could move my meeting with the Ponyville Hay Board to the following Tuesday, but then I have to reschedule my lunch with Pinkie Pie, and you know what a nightmare she is with scheduling. This is an absolute disaster. My whole year could be thrown off!
Spike: And I woke up from an ice cream dream for this...
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, my gosh, I think I did it! If I can find a way to read "The Art of Invisibility Spells" and "Thornhoof's Brief History of Canterlot" at the same time, that could leave me a half-hour scheduling window! Huh?
[magic crackling, wind blowing]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on? [yelps]
Future Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, you've got to listen to me!
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!
Future Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!
Twilight Sparkle: You're from the future?!
Future Twilight Sparkle: That's right, now listen–
Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you? The future must be awful.
Future Twilight Sparkle: Please! I don't have much time!
Twilight Sparkle: Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?
Future Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I'm from next Tuesday morning, but that's not important right now!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?
Future Twilight Sparkle: The time spells are in the Canterlot archives. But that's not–
Twilight Sparkle: Really? Where? I've never seen them.
Future Twilight Sparkle: They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to–
Twilight Sparkle: Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions– [muffled voice]
Future Twilight Sparkle: I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't–
[magic crackling]
Twilight Sparkle: Future Twilight? Oh no! What was she trying to warn me about? Her clothes, her mane, that scar... Oh, what a mess she is! ...I mean, I am... or I will be... [gasps] She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future! [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: C'mon, Fluttershy! The party can't start until the party supplies get there!
Fluttershy: [grunts] Happy to... help... but... can I carry... the balloons next time?
[crash]
Fluttershy: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Listen, everypony! I've got something really important to say!
Ponies: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: This is no laughing matter! We have a crisis on our hooves!
Ponies: [gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: I've just been visited by myself from the future!
Ponies: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: This isn't a joke! My future self tried to warn me about a horrible disaster that's going to occur sometime before next Tuesday morning!
Applejack: What kind of disaster?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I got sucked back into the future before I could explain!
Pinkie Pie: Run for your liiiiiiiife!
Rarity: What ever should we do, Twilight? How do we stop the disaster if we don't know what it is?
Twilight Sparkle: We'll just have to work together to make sure we're safe. Rainbow Dash, you and the other Pegasi spread out over Equestria, and look for any kind of problem that could lead to a disaster, and I mean anything.
Rainbow Dash: You got it!
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony else–
Pinkie Pie: [screaming] Anypony else wanna panic with me? No? [resumes screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony else, time to disaster-proof Equestria!
[cement squelching]
[screw squeaking]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: Done, and done, and done. Applejack, what about the Everfree Forest?
Applejack: The perimeter's clear.
Twilight Sparkle: Great.
Rainbow Dash: And my team gave the all clear from Fillydelphia to Las Pegasus.
Twilight Sparkle: Excellent. Well, we've done everything on the list, but still... Future Twilight looked like she'd been through a horrible ordeal. I just have this nagging feeling we should be looking for something bigger than loose bolts and leaky pipes.
[Cerberus roaring]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, everypony, follow my lead. [screams]
Ponies: [screaming]
Spike: What is that thing?!
Twilight Sparkle: That's Cerberus! He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus. But if he's here, then all the ancient evil creatures that have been imprisoned there could escape and destroy Equestria!
Spike: Destroy Equestria?!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Isn't it great? Hey, Cerberus! You look like you could use some obedience training! Magic obedience training!
[Cerberus roaring]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Fluttershy: Who's the cute widdle three-headed dog?
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, I knew you were good with animals, but this is amazing!
Fluttershy: Aww, he's just a big furry guy who got out of his yard, that's all. Right, Cerberus? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
Pinkie Pie: [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: [stops screaming] Yes, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Do you have a ball I can borrow?
Pinkie Pie: I have balls stashed all over Ponyville, in case of ball emergency.
Twilight Sparkle: [sing-song voice] Hey, Cerberus! Look what I have!
[Cerberus panting]
Twilight Sparkle: I'll be back as soon as I've returned him to the gates of Tartarus. Once he's back at home, there'll be no disaster.
[rooster crowing]
Spike: [yawns] I wish Twilight would go on epic adventures more often. Best night's sleep I've had in weeks.
[door opening and closing]
Spike: Hey, Twilight. How'd it go with Cerberus?
Twilight Sparkle: Great. I got him back before any of the evil creatures could escape.
Spike: Hurrh... hu– [belches]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Oh no!
Spike: What's the big deal, it's just a 'lost dog' flyer. I guess the Princess hasn't heard we found Cerberus yet.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not that, it's this!
Spike: A paper cut? Come on, Twilight, you really need to toughen up. Just clean it out and you'll be fine.
Twilight Sparkle: The cut's in the exact same spot as the scar on future Twilight's cheek! We haven't changed the future at all! The disaster is still coming!
Twilight Sparkle: If the disaster wasn't caused by Cerberus getting loose, then what could it possibly be?
Spike: [laughs] I dunno, but maybe you ought to give the pacing a rest. You've worn a groove into the floor!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't have time for another one of your lectures, Spike! This is serious!
Spike: My lectures?
Twilight Sparkle: I did everything I could think of to change the future. But it didn't work. So maybe it's not what I do... Maybe it's what I don't do!
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: If I stand right here and don't move a muscle until next Tuesday, I can't possibly do whatever it is that future Twilight wanted to warn me not to do!
Spike: Really? So... no matter what happens, you're not gonna move a muscle, huh? Then maybe you won't mind if I... eat an entire tub of ice cream!
[ice cream splatting]
Spike: Mmm! [muffled] So good! [eating noisily]
Twilight Sparkle: [through gritted teeth] Spike, stop! Think of the stomach ache!
Spike: [chuckles] Stomach ache, huh? That's future Spike's problem.
[knocking]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Twilight, another Pegasus just got back from Baltimare with an all-clear and– [laughs] What's going on? Aren't you gonna stop him?
Spike: She sure isn't! In fact, she's not gonna move 'til next Tuesday! She thinks it'll prevent the disaster from happening!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Oh, this is too rich. [gasps] Hey, Twilight! There's a mouse right behind you!
Rainbow Dash and Spike: [laughing]
Spike: Wait, wait, wait, let me try! Whoa-oa– [belches]
[whoomph]
Rainbow Dash: Oh no!
Twilight Sparkle: What happened?
Spike: I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! It was a total accident!
Twilight Sparkle: Show me.
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... I'm not so sure that's a–
Twilight Sparkle: Show me! Oh no! This is the same mane cut as future Twilight!
Rainbow Dash: Y'know... it really doesn't look too bad...
Twilight Sparkle: I don't care how it looks! It's just another sign that the future hasn't changed! Not doing anything didn't work either! Oh, I wish there was a way to know what was going to happen so I could stop it!
Spike: You wanna see the future? I might know somepony who can help!
Twilight Sparkle: What's this?
Spike: It's Madame Pinkie's place.
Twilight Sparkle: Madame Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: [spookily] Come... Enter the chamber of Madame Pinkie Pie... For the answers you seek, let us consult the mystical orb of fate's destiny... [normal] Do you like my mystical orb of fate's destiny? I just got it. Cool, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, uh... best one I've seen.
Pinkie Pie: [spookily] Look deep into the crystal ball... for soon it will reveal all! Ah, yes, I see something... It is a vision of the future... I see... you, Twilight. You will get a really cool birthday present next year...
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, and?
Pinkie Pie: That's it.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure?
Pinkie Pie: Yep. Cool birthday present.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I need your Pinkie Sense to tell me what the impending disaster is that future Twilight was trying to warn me about!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, my fortunetelling has nothing to do with my Pinkie Sense, silly. It's only good for vague and immediate events.
[crack]
Pinkie Pie: Like that, see? Where did that even come from?
Pinkie Pie: Lalalalalalala, lalalala... Gosh, I haven't seen Twilight since the flowerpot incident. Hope she still isn't mad. Uhhhh...
[papers rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: Off by point zero two from yesterday. Carry the fifteen... Negative azimuth on the fourteenth moon...
Spike: Hey Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight's really serious about finding out about that cool birthday present, isn't she?
Spike: Who cares? As long as I can keep eating ice cream. Sorry, future Spike.
Pinkie Pie: [to Twilight] Are... you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Ah, Pinkie, I'm glad you're here. Can you help me recalibrate the apertures on the nine-and-quarter catadioptric telescopes?
Pinkie Pie: Sure!
Twilight Sparkle: So I was thinking, after I came to see Madame Pinkie and the flowerpot landed on my head—see the bandage? Just like the bandage from the future...
Pinkie Pie: Nice!
Twilight Sparkle: I had an epiphany after that flowerpot. Doing things didn't work, not doing things didn't work, and I couldn't predict the future either, so I only had one other choice. Monitor everything.
Pinkie Pie: Makes sense to me!
Twilight Sparkle: That way no matter what happens in the future, I'll be ready! I thought I saw something last night in the Horsehead Nebula, but after staring at it for three straight hours I realized, I was wrong!
Pinkie Pie: Three hours? But when did you sleep?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I didn't sleep. I haven't slept since future Twilight was here. There are only three days left until next Tuesday, I can sleep all I want after that!
Spike: You've been awake too long, Twilight.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. Tuesday's not three days from now, Tuesday's tomorrow!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Pinkie, did you finish recalibrating the apertures on the nine-and-quarter-inch catadioptric telescopes?
Pinkie Pie: I have no idea!
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! My eye!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight, I have eye patches stashed all over Ponyville, in case of eye patch emergency. There! Now you look like a pirate! A sleepy pirate, with a really weird mane cut.
Twilight Sparkle: The eye patch...! Another sign! Nearly all the signs have come true! I haven't done a thing to prevent the catastrophe! If Tuesday's tomorrow, and the disaster happens by Tuesday morning, then there's only one solution. I'll just have to... stop time!
[train chugging]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Okay, the Canterlot archives are right over there. Let's move!
Spike: Uhh... I don't think we need to sneak around, Twilight. It's not illegal to walk around Canterlot.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Guard! C'mon, you guys! [exhales] That was close.
Spike: I dunno why we have to wear these things, either.
Pinkie Pie: Aren't we wearing them for fun?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, there's nothing fun about this!
Pinkie Pie: Oh... Are you sure?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Focus, guys! The only way to prevent this disaster is to stop time! Time spells are kept in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing, the most secure section of the archives. That's why we're sneaking around!
Pinkie Pie: Awesome! That sounds fun!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, it's not fun!
Pinkie Pie: Aww.
[rustling]
[ripping sound]
Pinkie Pie: I still don't understand how sneaking into the archives is gonna help her find out about her birthday present.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] The coast is clear. Now slowly lift me into the window so we can– AH!
Spike: [sighs] Let's get this over with.
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Okay, if my calculations are correct, the Star Swirl the Bearded wing should be right... here.
Spike: Uh, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] What is it, Spike?
Spike: Isn't this where we came in?
Pinkie Pie: Cool! Can we climb in the window again? That was super fun!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. It's supposed to be right here... How are we supposed to find it now?
Pinkie Pie: Maybe we should ask somepony in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing?
[orchestral twang]
[angelic choir]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. How'd I miss that? Look at all those priceless magic scrolls. There are more than I ever imagined!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, the guard!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] What do we do, what do we do?!
Guard: Hey, Twilight, haven't seen you in a while. Let me open that for ya.
[gate squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles nervously] Thanks!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no!
[splat]
Spike: Oof!
Pinkie Pie: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Look! I look just like future Twilight... The last sign has come true!
Pinkie Pie: And that's bad, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on! It's almost Tuesday morning! The disaster could happen at any moment!
Spike: But how do we find the time-stopping spell? There must be a million scrolls here!
Twilight Sparkle: I. Don't. Know!
[birds singing]
Spike: Twilight, it's over! It's officially Tuesday morning.
Twilight Sparkle: Nnngh, no! Tuesday morning, the disaster! Incoming!
Spike: I dunno, Twilight. I don't see any disasters. Looks like a pretty nice day.
Princess Celestia: Good morning, Twilight. Love the new hairstyle. Well, happy Tuesday!
Twilight Sparkle: Why isn't anypony surprised to see me sneaking around in here?! Is it possible there never was a disaster? That I've just been making myself frantic over nothing?!
Spike: I don't get it. If future Twilight wasn't warning you about a disaster, then what was she trying to tell you?
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] I don't know. But I do know one thing. I look ridiculous.
Spike and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Spike: Yeah, you do!
Twilight Sparkle: And it's all because I couldn't stop worrying and let the future handle itself! Well, not anymore. From now on, I'm gonna solve problems as they come, and stop worrying about every little thing!
Spike: That's great! Does that mean there won't be any more late night pacing?
Twilight Sparkle: No more late night pacing. If only I had learned this lesson a week ago, we wouldn't have had to go through all this.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, Twilight, I found something! It doesn't stop time, but it lets you go back in time. It says you can go back once, and it only lasts for a few moments. Does that help?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you're a genius!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Now I can go back and tell past Twilight that she doesn't need to go berserk with worry about a disaster that's never gonna come!
[magic crackling]
Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, you've got to listen to me!
Past Twilight Sparkle: Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!
Twilight Sparkle: Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!
Past Twilight Sparkle: You're from the future?!
Twilight Sparkle: That's right, now listen–
Past Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you? The future must be awful.
Twilight Sparkle: Please! I don't have much time!
Past Twilight Sparkle: Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I'm from next Tuesday morning, but that's not important right now!
Past Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?
Twilight Sparkle: The time spells are in the Canterlot archives. But that's not–
Past Twilight Sparkle: Really? Where? I've never seen them.
Twilight Sparkle: They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to–
Past Twilight Sparkle: Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions– [muffled voice]
Twilight Sparkle: I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't–
[magic crackling]
Twilight Sparkle: –waste your time... worrying... about... Ugh! I can't believe I just did that!
Pinkie Pie: Did you tell her about the cool birthday present?
Twilight Sparkle: Remember last week when future Twilight came to warn me about something? That was me trying to warn myself not to worry so much! Now I'm gonna spend the next week freaking out about a disaster that doesn't even exist! Ugh...
Pinkie Pie: Ah, don't worry about it. It's past Twilight's problem now.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Huh, I guess you're right, Pinkie.
Spike: [stomach growls] Ohhh... my stomach... I, I think it's all that ice cream... I thought the stomach ache would be future Spike's problem... but now I am future Spike. Ohh...
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, future Spike. Let's get you home.
[music]
[credits]

Dragon Quest

[digging sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: C'mon, Fluttershy, it'll be fun!
Fluttershy: There's nothing fun about dragons! Scary, yes! Fun, no!
Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy, the great dragon migration happens only once in a generation! Do you really wanna pass up a chance like that?
Fluttershy: Now that you put it that way, yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, Fluttershy, we just don't want you to miss out.
Fluttershy: Miss out on what? Dragons? Big, scaly, fire-breathing dragons?
Twilight Sparkle: Well... yeah!
Fluttershy: Thanks, but... no thanks!
Rainbow Dash: Look, Fluttershy, I watched that boring butterfly migration with you, so now it's your turn to watch the dragon migration with me! You owe me!
Fluttershy: I... said... no!
Rainbow Dash: Yeaagh! Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Fluttershy: [high-pitched growling] [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, I guess I'll let you off the hook this time.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] I don't see any dragons.
Applejack: [hushed] Me neither.
Pinkie Pie: Me neither neither.
Rainbow Dash: Shoot! You don't think we missed them, do you?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, I don't think so. We're just a little early, and I'm glad we are. This way, we can watch every moment of the migration without bringing any unwanted attention to ourselves!
Rarity: Yoo-hoo! Well?
[squeaking]
[party horns]
Rarity: What do you think? Am I the toast of the trench or what?
Applejack: [hushed] You'll be toast alright, when the dragons see you parading around in that getup.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] You look very nice, Rarity, but could you maybe look nice down here in the trench with us?
Rarity: Nice is an understatement. I look fabulous! Who says camouflage has to be drab?
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] Ahoy, maties! Dragons ho!
Main cast: Oooh... Ahhhh!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, amazing!
Rainbow Dash: Pfft, pretty lame move. Is that all they've got?
[dragon roaring]
Applejack: [hushed] What do ya think of that 'move', Rainbow Dash? Still think they're lame?
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] Uh, not so much. The word 'fierce' comes to mind.
Rarity: [hushed] And 'formidable'.
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] And 'super-duper scary'!
Spike: Yeah. Us dragons are definitely a force to be reckoned with.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Yeah, right, Spike. That's one of the scariest aprons I've ever seen!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Spike: What's wrong with wearing an apron? You won't be laughing when you spill blueberries all over your scales. Feathers. That's one tough stain!
Rainbow Dash: One tough stain against one lame dragon. [laughs]
Rarity: You leave him alone, Rainbow Dash! Spike's style is unique. He doesn't have to look like other dragons.
Twilight Sparkle: Or act like them.
Rarity: My little Spikey-wikey is perfect the way he is.
Spike: I don't act like other dragons?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, not even close!
Applejack: But why would you want to, Spike?
Rarity: Yes. You've got something those dreadfully fierce dragons can only dream of.
Spike: What's that?
Rarity: The cutest widdle chubby cheeks! Ooooo!
Spike: Cute?! Dragons aren't supposed to be cute! Right?
Rarity: Oh, sweetie, you are turning the most delightful shade of red. It is most becoming.
Spike: Rrrgh!
Rarity: Oh, isn't he adorable when he waddles off in anger?
Spike: Waddle?! Rrrrrggggh!
Spike: What am I? Where am I from? Who am I supposed to be?
Twilight Sparkle: Uuugh! I don't know! For the last time, Spike, you were given to me as an egg. I don't know who found you or where they found you.
Spike: Seriously? That's all you know?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Spike.
Spike: That doesn't tell me anything about who I am! I need answers! I feel like I'm... I'm looking at a complete stranger. Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. Why don't we do some late-night research? See what we can find out.
Spike: Really? You'd do that?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! I'm sure we can find something.
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing. Nothing in this one either!
Spike: Nothing at all about dragons? This is getting ridiculous!
Twilight Sparkle: I know! It's hard to believe, but ponies know next to nothing about dragons. Apparently they're too rare and too scary to try to talk to or study!
Spike: I wonder if dragons cry...
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, Spike.
Spike: It's okay, Twilight. I'm gonna discover who I am if it's the last thing I do!
Rarity: Yoo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, guys!
Spike: Waugh!
Rarity: Good morning!
Rainbow Dash: Ya wanna join us for breakfast?
Twilight Sparkle: That sounds great. I'm famished.
Spike: Count me out. I've gotta get an early start!
Rarity: An early start?
Spike: Yes! I'm going on a quest of self-discovery! I need to learn what it means to be a dragon! And the only way I'm gonna do that is to join the dragon migration!
Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash: What?!?
Rainbow Dash: Spike, that's nonsense talk! I know that you're a dragon, but those dragons mean business! They're big, and tough, and scary...
Spike: And I'm small, and meek... and I like to wear aprons. See? This is exactly why I need to spend time with them.
Rainbow Dash: All I'm saying is that you could get hurt.
Rarity: Darling, this time I really do have to agree with Rainbow Dash. I don't want those big, ugly, nasty dragons to hurt one little scale on your cutesy-wutesy head!
Spike: I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind.
Rarity: Oh, uh, quick, do something! Stop him before it's too late!
Spike: Ngh! Hey! Give it back!
Twilight Sparkle: Hold it!
Spike: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Aaagh!
Spike: Really?
Rainbow Dash: Don't tell me you think he should go?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Spike. I couldn't answer your questions. My books couldn't either. I understand why you want to look elsewhere. I truly believe you need to go on this quest. And we have no right to stop you.
Rarity: I suppose not.
Rainbow Dash: I still say you're nutty, but hey, I've done lots of nutty things.
Rarity, Spike and Twilight Sparkle: We know.
Rainbow Dash: [under her breath] Rrgh.
Twilight Sparkle: Well then, I guess this is goodbye, Spike. We can't wait to hear about it when you return.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we hope your trip–
Twilight Sparkle: Quest.
Rainbow Dash: –your quest answers some of your pesky "Who am I?" questions.
Spike: Thanks, everypony. I know it will.
Rarity: Goodbye, Spikey-wikey!
Rainbow Dash: Go get 'em, big guy!
Twilight Sparkle: We have faith in you!
Rarity: [through her grin] We're following him, right?
Twilight Sparkle: [through her grin] Of course.
[wind blowing]
[rain pouring]
[dragon roaring]
[teacup clinking]
Spike: Ugh!
Spike: Nngh...
[dragons roaring]
Spike: [gulps]
[distant shouting]
Spike: Alright, teenage dragons! Now that's more my speed. And size.
Twilight Sparkle: [sounds of exertion]
Rainbow Dash: I'm telling you, we'll never pass for a real dragon!
Rarity: Oh, pish-posh! This costume is fabulous, one of my finer creations.
Twilight Sparkle: Shh! [hushed] We'll never pass if they hear three voices coming out of one dragon! Now come on, let's go!
[dragons cheering]
Spike: Um, excuse me? Uh, hi. I'm Spike.
Fume: You sure your name is Spike and not Shrimp?!
[dragons laughing]
Spike: No, it's Spike! I'm not, I mean, I'm sure about that...
"Clump": You look more like Peewee to me.
[dragons laughing]
Garble: Hey guys, c'mon, seriously. Leave him alone or he might fly away. That is, uh, if he had any wings! [laughs]
[dragons laughing]
"Clump": You fly in on your mommy's back during the migration?
Spike: Not exactly...
Fume: No, no, can't you see baby Spike just hatched? I bet he still sucks his claw at night!
Spike: No, I haven't sucked my claw in months!
[dragons laughing]
Garble: Well, if you weren't just hatched, how come we haven't seen you around before?
Spike: Oh, well, y'see, I live in Ponyville and–
Garble: Hahaha! Ponyville? That explains it! I knew there was something vaguely pony-ish about you! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were part pony!
Spike: Who, me? I'm not part pony! I'm all dragon, see? Raar!
Garble: Or maybe you're a pony in a dragon costume.
[dragons laughing]
Fume: A pony in a dragon costume...! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: [deep voice] Aheh... yeah... hilarious.
Spike: Nnh, I am a real dragon!
Garble: Oh, yeah? Prove it.
Spike: Well... how?
Garble: By acting like one! Who's up for a little belching contest?
[dragons cheering]
"Fizzle": [belches]
Fume: [belches]
"Clump": [belches]
[dragons cheering]
"Clump": [coughs]
Garble: You think you can beat that, Peewee?
Spike: [gulps] [belches]
Teenage dragons: Huh?
Garble: From the desk of Princess Celestia. Dear Spike, please te– Ha! Get this, guys! Spike's pen-pals with a namby-pamby pony princess!
[dragons laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] How can he just throw that away?! That letter could be something important!
Rainbow Dash: We can't worry about that now, Twilight. We're here to help Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: I know, I know!
Rainbow Dash: [strained noise]
Twilight Sparkle: There's no reason to disrespect Princess Celestia that way!
Garble: Maybe tail wrestling is more your speed.
Spike: Uh...
Teenage dragons: Yeah!
Garble: Ready... go!
Backdraft and Charcoal: [sounds of exertion]
Garble: The winner!
[dragons cheering]
Spike: Good old tail wrestling...
Rarity: We can't let little Spikey-wikey wrestle one of them! He'll get clobbered!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's go! [deep voice] I challenge Spike to a tail wrestle!
Garble: Who's this weirdo?
Fume: I think he's Crackle's cousin.
Crackle: BWAAGH!
Garble: Oh, that would explain it. Ready? Go!
Spike: [sounds of exertion]
Garble: Spike's the winner!
[dragons cheering]
Garble: Nice going, little Spike! Maybe you are a dragon after all!
Spike: Yeah! Maybe I am!
Rarity: Rainbow Dash, I can't believe your silly plan actually worked. Ow.
Spike: Alright, who's next?
Garble: Getting a little cocky, huh? I like that. So how about you wrestle... him! Go!
Spike: Whooooooooa!
Garble: So, Spike, you haven't exactly proven yourself as a dragon yet, have you?
Spike: But... I get an A for effort?
Garble: Huh, maybe. Let's see how you do in this next contest.
Spike: Whaaaaa! Oof! Wha! Oah! Oof!
[dragons laughing]
Garble: King of the hoard!
[dragons cheering]
Spike: This is my chance.
Fume: [chuckling]
Rainbow Dash: Not so fast!
Twilight Sparkle: Oof!
[pinching noise]
"Clump" and Garble: Whoa!
Spike: King of the ho- whoa! Oof! Uh! Nuh! Oof!
Garble: Looks like this is another fail for you, little Spike. Can't wait to watch you fail at lava cannonball, too.
Spike: [gulps]
Garble: Whoever makes the biggest lava splash is the ultimate dragon! Geronimo!
[splash]
Spike: Nuh!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Spike's on his own this time.
[dragons cheering]
"Clump": Cannonball!
Spike: Guh!
Garble: What's wrong, Spike? You afraid the lava will hurt your soft pony hide?
[dragons laughing]
Spike: [gulps] [screams]
[thwack]
Teenage dragons: Oooh...
Spike: Ugh... Was I... that bad?
Garble: No, dude. That was awesome! No pony could live through a belly flop like that! [chuckles] You're one tough little dragon.
Teenage dragons: [general approval]
Charcoal: [snorts like a kazoo]
Garble: Spike, by belly flopping so hard, you have proven yourself worthy. I hereby dub you 'rookie dragon', and will now perform the initiation ritual. Rrrrgh. [chuckles] Now let's party dragon style!
[dragons cheering]
[dragon roars]
Spike: Man, was that a great party.
Garble: Great? Huh, maybe by Ponyville standards. Stick with us, Spike. We still got plenty to teach you about being a dragon.
Spike: I'm not going anywhere. The way I feel right now, I could hang out with you guys forever.
Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: Forever?!
Spike: [sighs]
Rarity: Spikey-wikey is going to stay with these awful dragons? Forever?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no, this is terrible!
Rainbow Dash: I should've stopped him back at the library when I had the chance!
Twilight Sparkle: No, Rainbow Dash, this is all my fault! I encouraged him to go!
Garble: Y'know, Spike, I think you just might be ready for a real dragon raid.
[dragons cheering]
Garble: There's a nest full of phoenix eggs nearby, and we're gonna swipe 'em!
"Clump": Aren't you totally psyched to go on this raid?
Spike: Oh yeah, I'm excited. I mean, I'm psyched.
Garble: Alright then. Let's fly!
Spike: Uh, sorry, guys! I guess I'll meet you back here at the crater! After the whole raid thing's over? We'll totally hang then! Whoahoa!
Rainbow Dash: Oh no, they took Spike! We've gotta go after them!
Rarity: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Rainbow Dash, stop! We can't fly!
Rarity: And you're ruining my fabulous costume!
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, but we gotta help Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we're just gonna have to hoof it!
Garble: Alright, Spike. Since you're our rookie dragon, you get to lure the parents away from the nest.
Spike: Heh... Lucky me...
Garble: Well go on, then!
Spike: Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Phoenix! I was hoping I could have a word with you? Um, I'd, um, like to ask you some questions actually...
Garble: [hushed] We haven't got all day, Spike!
Spike: Hey, you bird brains! Come and get me!
[phoenix caws]
Spike: [yelps]
Garble: What the...
[phoenix chicks chirping]
Fume: The eggs have hatched.
"Clump": What do we do now?
Garble: We take the hatchlings, of course!
[phoenix chicks screeching]
[phoenix chicks blowing raspberries]
Garble: Get 'em!
Spike: [continues yelping]
[phoenix chicks screeching]
Garble: Ohh... Get them!
[phoenixes screeching]
Garble: [chuckles] Nnnghh...
Teenage dragons: Ugh!
Garble: Nnngh, they got away! I hate that!
[crash]
Teenage dragons: Oof!
Spike: Huh, what have we got here? What happened?
Garble: They got away! Hey! You stole an egg?
Spike: Uh...
Garble: Well, I guess the raid wasn't a total waste after all.
[other dragons cheering]
Garble: Nice going, Spike.
"Clump": Well, what are you waiting for, Spike? Smash it!
Spike: Smash the egg?
"Clump": Yeah!
Fume: Yeah, throw it on the ground as hard as you can!
Teenage dragons: Yeah! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!
Spike: No! It's just a defenseless egg, like I was! And I'm not gonna let you hurt it!
Garble: What did you say?
Spike: I said no.
Garble: No one says no to me. [growls]
Rainbow Dash: Nopony's gonna lay a claw on him!
Twilight Sparkle: That's right!
Rarity: Fighting's not really my thing, I'm more into fashion, but I'll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!
[dragons laughing]
Garble: Ooh, scary, hehe! Spike, are these namby-pamby ponies your friends?
Spike: Yes, they are. And they're better friends than you could ever be. Now, if you don't back off, you'll see what us ponies do when confronted by a huge group of jerky dragons.
Garble: Oh, yeah? [snorts] What's that?
Spike: Run away!
Garble: [growls]
Twilight Sparkle: Nyuh!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike and Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Spike: Phew, that was a close one. Thanks, you guys.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course. What are friends for?
Spike: You're more than friends. You're my family.
Rarity: [squeaks]
Spike: Dear Princess Celestia,
Seeing the great dragon migration made me wonder what it meant to be a dragon. But now I realize that who I am is not the same as what I am. I may have been born a dragon, but Equestria and my pony friends have taught me how to be kind, loyal, and true! I'm proud to call Ponyville my home, and to have my pony friends as my family.
Yours truly,
Spike
[egg cracking]
[phoenix chick chirping]
Spike: Aww. [chuckles] Hey, welcome to the family, Peewee! Stick with me. I've got plenty to teach you about being a pony.
[music]
[credits]

Hurricane Fluttershy

Rainbow Dash: Calling all Pegasus ponies! Meeting tonight!
Flitter: [reading] "Mandatory meeting for all Ponyville Pegasi."
Rainbow Dash: Library, tonight. Be cool or be mule. No offense.
Mule: None taken.
Rainbow Dash: All right, go on in, find a seat. Ohh... You too, Fluttershy. Come on, let's go.
[theme song]
[film projector running]
[old music begins playing]
Film announcer: Every living thing depends on the life-giving nourishment of rainwater, and it is up to Cloudsdale to provide rain-filled clouds to every corner of Equestria. But how, one pony might ask, does Cloudsdale gather all this extra water? Tornado power! That's right, Pegasi-driven tornado power. A team of Pegasi combine their wing power to create a jumbo tornado, powerful enough to pull water out of the local reservoir and funnel it all the way up to Cloudsdale. Remember, Pegasi, your jumbo tornado must reach a minimum of eight hundred wing power to lift that water up to Cloudsdale. So, the next time you're wondering "Where does all that extra rainwater come from?", just remem–
[music and voice suddenly halt]
Pegasi: [confused chatter]
Spike: Uh... intermission?
Rainbow Dash: So, here's the scoop. Cloudsdale has chosen our own highland reservoir as a source of the rainwater they need for all of Equestria. And you know what that means. It means it's up to Ponyville's Pegasi to bring that water up to Cloudsdale.
Pegasi: [excited chatter]
Rainbow Dash: Not only that, but Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, will be here to oversee the water transfer and record our top tornado windspeed. Now last year, Fillydelphia broke the windspeed record with a top speed of nine hundred and ten wing power. But I think we can do better. I think we can get a top speed over a thousand!
Pegasi: [excited chatter]
Rainbow Dash: ...if each and every pony trains, and trains hard to get their wing power numbers up.
Thunderlane: [coughing]
Rainbow Dash: That coughing better be from a popcorn kernel, Thunderlane. Nopony's getting sick on my watch. So, are we gonna train hard?
Pegasi: Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: Are we gonna be strong?
Pegasi: Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: Are we gonna be fast?
Pegasi: Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: Record-smashing fast?
Bulk Biceps: YEAH!
Rainbow Dash: Who's with me?
Pegasi: Woo-hoo! [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy!
Rainbow Dash: Stretch those glutes, Flitter! Nice flexibility, Cloud Chaser. A... little too much flexibility, Blossomforth. Uh, somepony give Blossomforth a hoof. Let's see some faster trotting, Thunderlane! Good pace, Silverspeed! [blows whistle] Keep it up! We're gonna need all the wing power we can get to break that record!
Bulk Biceps: YEAH! [snorts]
Rainbow Dash: Good work, everypony! [under her breath] Everypony except Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash: [knocking] Fluttershy? I know you're in there! You're avoiding tornado duty and I want to know why! Fluttershy, open–
Fluttershy: Achoo. Hi, Rainbow Dash. [coughs weakly]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy, what happened to you?
Fluttershy: Oh, I [sniffs] I think I have [coughs weakly] the pony pox. I'm sorry. I really, really wanted to come to training day today [coughs weakly], but this pony pox has really knocked me for a loop. Achoo. [coughs weakly]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, you poor thing. You know, there's only one cure for pony pox.
Fluttershy: I know, plenty of bed–
[splash]
Fluttershy: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Cold water! Those pony pox are clearing right up.
Fluttershy: Oh, y'know, all of a sudden, I'm, I'm starting to feel better. [laughs nervously] I'll just get out of these robes and– ow! Oh, my wing, oh, ow, it's hurt. I guess I can't fly after all–
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle]
Fluttershy: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Messed up wing, huh? Stop horsing around, Fluttershy. We've got a lot of training to do. Come on now, what's going on?
Fluttershy: Well, y'see, uh, well... Oh, Rainbow Dash, I just can't do it! I can't fly!
Rainbow Dash: What are you talking about? Just last week you went into that wicked nose dive to save that falling baby bird right before it hit the ground!
Fluttershy: But that was different, that was an emergency! This whole tornado thing, it's more like a performance, and you know how I hate performing in front of others. Don't you remember flight camp? I couldn't gallop hard or fly fast, not with everypony looking at me!
Rainbow Dash: It wasn't that bad.
Fluttershy: You're right, Rainbow Dash, it wasn't bad. It was horrible!
Filly Fluttershy: [gasping] [yelps]
Fluttershy: [voiceover] The other foals used to tease me, a lot!
Foals: [chanting] Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly! [repeats, begins echoing, then stops]
Fluttershy: I just can't risk that sort of humiliation again.
Rainbow Dash: Suck it up, Fluttershy! This is no time for– I mean, confidence or no confidence, I'm gonna need every Pegasus to break the record, including you. I need every ounce of wing power I can get.
Fluttershy: Oh, I-I don't think so, Rainbow Dash...
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Thanks anyway.
Fluttershy: Wait. I'll do it.
Rainbow Dash: You will?
Fluttershy: I will.
Rainbow Dash: You're game?
Fluttershy: I'm game.
Rainbow Dash: Alright!
[anemometer squeaking]
Cloud Chaser: What exactly does this machine do?
Twilight Sparkle: This is an anemometer. It measures your accelerative velocity and translates it into wing power, thus gauging your cumulative H2O anti-gravitational potential. Any other questions?
Flitter: Yeah. [to Spike] What exactly does this machine do?
Spike: It tells you how fast you're flying and how strong your wings are.
Pegasi: Ohhhh... Okay... I see...
Pegasus: [coughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Is that you again, Thunderlane? Please, we need to have a germ-free environment.
Thunderlane: It wasn't me, it was Blossomforth.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, Twilight. Thunderlane's just cooking up an excuse to spend tornado day in bed. Why don't you get over here and be our first test flyer, Thunderlane?
Blossomforth: [coughs]
Thunderlane: [revving sounds]
[anemometer squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: We have 9.3 wing power.
Pegasi: Wow! That's fast!
Bulk Biceps: YEAH!
Rainbow Dash: Not bad, not bad. [joints cracking] [revving sounds]
[anemometer squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: 16.5 wing power!
Pegasi: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Now listen up! If each of you can get your numbers up to at least 10.0 wing power by the end of the week, we'll no doubt set a new tornado speed record. We'll be number one!
Pegasi: [cheering]
[anemometer squeaking]
Rainbow Dash: Impressive. Fluttershy, your turn. [blows whistle]
"Tornado Bolt": [wings buzzing]
Fluttershy: [takes deep breath]
Flitter and Cloud Chaser: [laughing]
Foals: [echoing] Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly...
[anemometer squeaking and clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Tell her!
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] No, you tell her!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, you!
Rainbow Dash: Um... great job, Fluttershy! You measured, uh, uh, .5.
Spike: .5? Isn't that like... less than one?
[bonk]
Spike: Ow!
Foals: [echoing] Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly! [repeats] [demonic laughter]
Fluttershy: [crying]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy, wait! So some punks poked a little fun at you and you got stage fright, big deal. You aren't gonna go quit just because of that, are you?
Fluttershy: [crying] Yes!
Rainbow Dash: But I need you!
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, I just [between sobs] don't have the courage right now...
Fluttershy: [squeaks] [crying]
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: [sniffles] Oh, thank you, but I'm afraid a couple of little acorns won't solve my big flying problem.
[duck quacking]
Fluttershy: I tried, but you should've seen those ponies laughing at me...
[birds chirping]
Fluttershy: I know it's important to have confidence in myself...
[badger squeaking]
Fluttershy: Yes, yes, I do remember. The river was swelling...
[badger squeaking]
Fluttershy: ...and you were scared...
[badger squeaking]
Fluttershy: ...yes, I did tell you to never give up... and to believe in yourself. You're right, my friends. I shouldn't give up. I will get my confidence up and show everypony that I am a good flyer! A great flyer!
[animal noises]
[training montage music begins]
Angel: [blows whistle]
[crash]
[splash]
Angel: [blows whistle]
[sucking noise]
[crash]
[animal noises]
[music finishes]
[anemometer squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: That's wonderful, Flitter. Much better than yesterday.
Rainbow Dash: This is crazy awesome! We're gonna smash that record!
[squirrel chittering]
Spike: What did he say?
Twilight Sparkle: Do I look like I speak squirrel?
Spike: What's that?
[montage music resumes]
[anemometer squeaking]
Fluttershy: 2.3? 2.3?! That has to be some kind of mistake! I worked so hard!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, that's a huge improvement!
Rainbow Dash: You did awesome, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: No, I didn't. I thought I'd gotten over my nerves, but they still got the best of me! There's no way I'll fly with 10.0 wing power tomorrow!
Rainbow Dash: So you won't fly with 10.0 wing power. Every bit counts!
Fluttershy: How would you feel if everypony else was flying with 10.0 wing power and you were flying with 2.5?
Spike: Actually, it was only 2.3, and– ow!
[zipping noise]
Rainbow Dash: Well, uh... I'd feel... um...
Fluttershy: Exactly! Humiliated! [between sobs] I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, I just can't do it!
Spike: It's okay, Rainbow Dash, you've still got plenty of wing power for your tornado. You'll be able to lift tons of water up to Cloudsdale!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] If only there was a way to lift Fluttershy out of the dumps.
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Are we ready to do this?
Pegasi: Yeah! [cheering]
Spike: Look!
Rainbow Dash: Lazy Thunderlane! Where is he?! He's been trying to get out of tornado duty the whole time with his fake coughing and all. Rumble, where's your lazy brother?
Rumble: He's got the feather flu. He's down at Ponyville Hospital.
Spike: But he's not the only one.
Twilight Sparkle: Let's see, with those eight sick Pegasi out with the feather flu... [gasp] Oh no!
Rainbow Dash: Don't tell me we won't be able to break the windspeed record?
Twilight Sparkle: No...
Rainbow Dash: Phew!
Twilight Sparkle: ...You might not have enough wing power to create a tornado powerful enough to lift the water to Cloudsdale!
Spike: Well, should we pack up?
Rainbow Dash: No. Of course not. Forget the record. Cloudsdale still needs water! Okay, everypony! Let's give it all we've got! On the sound of the horn, we take off!
Twilight Sparkle: [taps giant anemometer]
Spike: [takes deep breath, blows horn]
[wind howling]
[giant anemometer squeaking]
Spike: You think they're gonna make it to eight hundred wing power?
Twilight Sparkle: I sure hope so! One hundred and fifty wing power. Two hundred and fifty wing power. Five hundred wing power!
[water churning]
Twilight Sparkle: Seven hundred and fifty wing power!
Fluttershy: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! What are you doing here?!
Fluttershy: I figured... if I couldn't help Rainbow Dash with the tornado... the least I could do was offer moral support!
Twilight Sparkle: She could sure use it, considering eight Pegasi are sick with the feather flu!
Fluttershy: Oh no! That's terrible news!
[water splashing]
[crunch]
Pegasi: Whoa! [etc.]
[splash]
Rainbow Dash: Yaa– oof!
Twilight Sparkle: Are you okay?
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] I'm fine!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you were so close to the eight hundred wing power minimum! I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Rbbbb– We've got to try again!
Twilight Sparkle: But you've pushed your crew to their limit already!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: If you break apart again, somepony could get hurt! You should quit, it's not safe!
Rainbow Dash: No! One more time! I've gotta know we gave it our all! If I'm going down, I'm going down flying! C'mon, ponies, let's make this happen!
Pegasi: [cheering]
Bulk Biceps: YEAH!
Spike: [blows horn]
[wind howling]
[giant anemometer squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, here we go... One hundred wing power! Two hundred! Five hundred!
Rainbow Dash: Stay in position! Flap those wings! Faster!
Twilight Sparkle: Seven hundred! Seven hundred and fifty wing power!
Spike: [yelps] They fell apart right after this!
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm too nervous to look!
Rainbow Dash: C'mon! Just a little harder! I can see the water trying to funnel through!
Twilight Sparkle: Seven ninety five! We are so close! Fluttershy, they need you up there!
Fluttershy: I won't make a difference!
Twilight Sparkle: You can make a difference!
Fluttershy: My measly 2.3 wing power is still too little!
Spike: It's sticking at seven ninety five! I don't know if they've got any more in 'em!
Twilight Sparkle: Do it for Equestria! Do it for Rainbow Dash! Do it for yourself!
Fluttershy: [gulps] [yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: It's moving! She's doing it! Seven ninety eight! She surpassed her best wing power number!
Foals: [echoing] Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly! [laughs]
Fluttershy: No!
"Serenity": What was that?
"Slipstream": I think it was Fluttershy!
[anemometer beeping]
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: She did it! She did it! They all did it!
Spike: [blows horn]
Pegasi: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, girl, take it easy!
Fluttershy: Whuh, what? Did we do it?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we did it! You did it!
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: Ah!
Flitter: Great job, Fluttershy, that was awesome!
Cloud Chaser: Yeah, we couldn't have done it without you.
Spitfire: Nice job, Rainbow Dash. You may not have set a new record, but you showed a lot of guts.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks, but if you wanna talk guts, then you've gotta give it to my number one flyer, Fluttershy! Let's hear it for Fluttershy!
Pegasi: [chanting] Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can really fly! [cheering]
Fluttershy: Dear Princess Celestia,
Sometimes you can feel like what you have to offer is too little to make a difference, but today, I learned that everypony's contribution is important, no matter how small. If you just keep your head high, do your best, and believe in yourself, anything can happen.
[Cloudsdale chugging]
[music]
[credits]

Ponyville Confidential

[bell rings]
[foals chattering]
Sweetie Belle: Can you believe Featherweight got his cutie mark? Featherweight! Before us!
[foals cheering]
Snips: Great cutie mark, Featherweight!
Snails: [chuckles] Looking good!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [sigh]
Sweetie Belle: I give up...
Apple Bloom: I've got it! The answer to all our problems!
Sweetie Belle: The Foal Free Press? How's the school paper gonna get us our cutie marks?
Apple Bloom: [takes deep breath]
Granny Smith: Move your caboose!
Apple Bloom: Uh-oh. That's Granny Smith. Gotta run!
Scootaloo: Maybe there's something to this newspaper idea.
Sweetie Belle: Guess it's worth a shot...
[paper ripping]
[bubbling]
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom. Your newspaper idea was nothing but a big bust.
Scootaloo: We tried everything, from papier-mâché to making birds' nests, and nothing worked.
Apple Bloom: [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: What's so funny?
Apple Bloom: What I meant was, we should write for the paper! We can get our cutie marks as journalists!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [groan]
[theme song]
Cheerilee: Okay, class, see you tomorrow! Oh, for those of you who want to join the newspaper staff, stay here, because we're meeting right now!
Apple Bloom: Cutie marks in journalism!
Scootaloo: Such a good idea.
Cheerilee: Welcome, everypony. Now, as you know, our editor-in-chief graduated last year–
Sweetie Belle: Oh, oh, oh, ohohohoh!
Cheerilee: Yes?
Sweetie Belle: What's an editor-in-chief?
Cheerilee: Good question, Sweetie Belle. I like those reporter's instincts. The Foal Free Press is a student-run paper. I'm only involved as an adviser, so the editor-in-chief is the pony in charge, from choosing the stories to making sure it gets to press on time. Now, as I said, we have a new editor this year!
[door opens]
Students: Diamond Tiara?!
Diamond Tiara: Hm.
Cheerilee: I'll leave you alone now to discuss everypony's assignments. Have fun!
[door closes]
Diamond Tiara: Alright, listen up. The Foal Free Press is a joke.
Students: Huh?
Diamond Tiara: Nopony at this school takes it seriously. Well I, the editor-in-chief in charge, am going to deliver us to newfound glory!
[pause]
Truffle: Yay!
Diamond Tiara: First things first. Where's the staff photographer? Get out there and document everything. I'll decide what's important.
[door closes]
Diamond Tiara: The rest of you, I want hard-hitting news and interesting think pieces. No more Namby-Pamby stories like last year's editor.
"Ruby Pinch": But Namby-Pamby was a great editor.
Diamond Tiara: Well, there's a new regime now, and I want juicy stories. The juicier, the better! Now get out there and report!
Scootaloo: Let's get out of here, girls. Maybe we can try packing boxes again.
Sweetie Belle: But this could be our last chance to earn our cutie marks! If we really are supposed to be journalists, isn't it worth a little grief?
Scootaloo: I guess you're right. We can take a little bit of Diamond Tiara for a lifetime of cutie marks.
Sweetie Belle: C'mon! Let's go get these marks!
Sweetie Belle: [voiceover] My first story's going to be an exclusive interview.
Scootaloo: [voiceover] I saw a brand new nest of baby birds the other day. I bet our readers would eat up a sweet story like that!
[splat]
[birds laughing]
Apple Bloom: [voiceover] Granny Smith has all sorts of great stories! I reckon I'll do a piece on the history of Ponyville.
[typewriter clicking]
[ink squirting]
Diamond Tiara: I hope you've got something, because everything so far is unusable. "Baby Birds Born"? "Rarity's Hot New Hat"? "Ponyville: The Early Years"!? Oh! I don't know what you call this, but it sure isn't news!
Sweetie Belle: We just... thought...
Diamond Tiara: Get something else on my desk by the end of the day, and it better be juicy!
Scootaloo: Now what? Do you know what I had to do to get that story?
Apple Bloom: Oh, you don't even wanna know what I had to sit through.
[camera snapping]
Snips: Oh! Get it off me, Snails!
Snails: Eh, you get it off me, Snips?
Snips: Aah! Stop it! You are making it worse! Nah! Oh, great.
Snails: I'll get it. [grunt]
Snips: Aah!
Snails: Get it off! Get it off!
Sweetie Belle: [giggles] Hey, Featherweight, c'mere! [giggles] Take a few pictures of this, then meet me during lunch. Girls, I have our story.
[paper spinning noise]
"Noi": "Snips and Snails in Bubblegum Veils! And that's when the biggest jokester in school really stuck his hoof in it – literally!"
"Green Daze": The Foal Free Press is usually just boring news and stuff.
Cotton Cloudy: So funny!
Snips: Our mothers always told us we'd end up in the papers someday.
Snails: Yeah, and look! We finally got the gum out! [laughs]
Diamond Tiara: Your column is a sensation! I don't want you doing news anymore. I want more columns like this. Columns about ponies and their private lives, the things they do when they think they're alone. You three are my new gossip columnists! And I love the way you signed it! "Gabby Gums"... [sigh] That was a stroke of genius!
Sweetie Belle: We couldn't fit all of our names, so we decided to create one for all three of us.
Diamond Tiara: Well, I want more Gabby Gums! Nice work, girls.
Scootaloo: But we sure seem to have a gift for gossip.
Sweetie Belle: If we can write a few more of these Gabby Gums columns, we'll earn our cutie marks for sure!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Woo-hoo!
Sweetie Belle: Scootaloo? Do you have anything?
Scootaloo: Nope.
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Sorry.
Scootaloo: Let's face it, nothing very juicy happens at this school.
Snips and Snails: [grunts]
[thwack]
Sweetie Belle: We're doomed.
[thud]
Rarity: Ohh, Sweetie Belle... Was she raised in a barn or something? [gasps] Oh, you really shouldn't be snooping, Rarity... Oh, but it's so much fun, Rarity. Hello... what's this? [giggles] Gum on their bum! [laughs] Too rich!
Sweetie Belle: Can you please keep it down with all the laughter? I'm trying to– hey!
Rarity: Bleh! I, I was just–
Sweetie Belle: Are you snooping through my saddlebag?
[twang]
Sweetie Belle: How dare you!
Rarity: Oh, but this Gabby Gums column is so funny!
Sweetie Belle: You actually like the school paper?
Rarity: It's so much juicier than anything in the boring old Ponyville Express. Could I borrow this to show my friends?
Sweetie Belle: Your friends would wanna read the Foal Free Press?
Rarity: Oh, they'd just love Gabby Gums! Who is she, anyway? I've never heard of her before. Is she a new–
Sweetie Belle: We gave up too quickly, girls. Forget trying to squeeze stories out of this school. We need to expand!
[camera snapping]
Apple Bloom: We can find all kinds of great gossip out there in Ponyville!
Sweetie Belle: We'll need to tell Featherweight to start working overtime.
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle, you're a genius!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [screaming and crying]
Diamond Tiara: "Pound and Pumpkin Cake Trip to the Store Ends in Tears." Gabby Gums comes through again!
Truffle: [panting] The Ponyville news stand wants to carry the Foal Free Press! Ponies keep coming by and asking for it!
Diamond Tiara: Send 'em twenty copies, and if they run out of those, we'll send 'em twenty more! You three are doing a great job for this paper. Keep those columns coming!
Scootaloo: This is great!
[typewriters clicking]
[ink splashing]
Rarity: Oh, this is the life, isn't it, girls? The best hooficure I've ever had!
Applejack: [voice vibrating] You said it, ooh...
Spike: [sighs] I don't know if I've ever been so relaxed.
Rainbow Dash: You guys!
Spike: Aaah!
Rainbow Dash: The new Gabby Gums just came out! "The Great and Powerful Trixie's Secrets Revealed!"
Rarity: We already read that one, Rainbow Dash. Come on, relax, have a hooficure, it feels amazing.
Rainbow Dash: [swallows] Did you forget who you're talking to? The day I get a hooficure is the day I turn in my daredevil license. Besides, I haven't read this Gabby Gums yet.
Spike: Well, do it quietly, will ya? [sigh] Some of us are trying to unwind!
Twilight Sparkle: I like Gabby Gums too, but don't you think she can be a little mean?
Applejack: She's not mean, Twilight, she's a hoot!
Twilight Sparkle: "Celestia Just Like Us"? Gabby Gums doesn't value anypony's privacy.
Rarity: Oh, lighten up, Twilight, it's nothing but harmless gossip!
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, Twilight, I mean listen to this one. "Mayor Not Naturally Gray!" The Mayor in a mane dyeing scandal? Who wouldn't wanna read that?
Twilight Sparkle: I just can't help feeling sorry for the ponies featured in her columns. It's gotta be a little embarrassing.
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? Do you know how awesome it is to get your name in the paper?
Rarity: Rainbow, why don't you join me in one of these delicious hooficures?
Rainbow Dash: It's that good, huh? Well, maybe just one little hoof.
[chords]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Forget it, I don't like ponies touching my hooves. Man... I'd love it if Gabby Gums did a story on me.
Spike: She did one on me.
Main cast: What?!
Spike: Aaaah!
Apple Bloom: "Exclusive! Local Dragon Tells All! Spike opens up about Canterlot, naps, and his favorite jams!"
Scootaloo: It's our best column yet!
Diamond Tiara: More like your worst column yet! Gabby Gums didn't become the biggest thing in Ponyville with namby-pamby stories like this!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Yeah, she's right. This column is a little softer than our usual gossip.
Sweetie Belle: Were you guys feeling guilty about all the gossip too? Like... maybe we could be hurting other ponies' feelings?
Apple Bloom: Yeah, I didn't wanna say anything because everypony loves Gabby Gums so much, but... I was sorta hoping we could start writing more stories like this one.
Scootaloo: Me too.
Sweetie Belle: If we're gonna get our cutie marks, we've got to give the ponies what they want.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Awww...
[paper spinning noise]
Applejack: "Applejack Asleep on the Job!" Can y'all believe this?! And this one: "Big McIntosh – What's He Hiding?" Who the hay does this Gabby Gums think she is?!
Twilight Sparkle: Listen to this one. "Twilight Sparkle: I Was a Canterlot Snob. A well-placed scaly source close to the prissy pony says Twilight Sparkle thinks Ponyville is nothing but muddy roads and low-class rubes." Spike!
Spike: [yelps and belches]
Twilight Sparkle: How could you say such a thing?
Spike: Well, I didn't! Gabby Gums made that up! I never said anything like that!
Rarity: Everypony, please! She's just a harmless schoolpony engaged in a little harmless gossip. You're really making too big a deal out of this.
Twilight Sparkle: But it's all lies! Gabby Gums prints whatever she wants! She doesn't care whose reputation she destroys! "Fluttershy Has Tail Extensions!" "Pinkie Pie is an Out-of-Control Party Animal!"
Pinkie Pie: What?! It's true! I do have a problem! [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, look! According to this one, the Cakes are breaking up!
Mrs. Cake: We are?!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Well, my life is officially over. [normal] Gabby Gums has made it to Cloudsdale.
Twilight Sparkle: "Rainbow Dash: Speed Demon or Super Softie?"?!
Rainbow Dash: I grabbed as many copies as I could, but it was too late! [crying] I'm a laughing stock!
Twilight Sparkle: See, Rarity? Your so-called 'harmless gossip' can be very hurtful!
Rarity: Honestly, you ponies have no sense of humor. So she tweaks a few ponies every now and then, maybe they deser– [gasps] I'll destroy her! "The Drama-Queen Diaries"... She's reprinted my diary! How could Gabby Gums possibly get access to my private diary?!
Twilight Sparkle: We've got to put a stop to this once and for all! Sweetie Belle's on the newspaper staff. Maybe she knows who Gabby Gums is.
Rarity: [gasps] My sister would never associate with anyone as beastly as Gabby Gums! I resent you even suggesting such a thing, Twilight! Why, she's the most innocent, most lovely–
Rarity: –most evil pony in Equestria! How could my own sister steal my private diary? How could my own sister be... Gabby Gums?
Rarity: Et tu, Gabby Gums?!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] You know?! How'd you find out?!
Rarity: The gilded pages of your betrayal!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, yeah.
Rarity: How could you do this to me?! You stole my secret diary and published it for all the world to read! Gossip can be a very hurtful thing. It is an invasion of privacy, just like when I snooped through your saddlebag. You didn't like that much, did you?
Sweetie Belle: No...
Rarity: What is important is that you understand how your column makes the ponies that you're writing about feel!
Sweetie Belle: I do understand, and we've all been feeling guilty, but we just want our cutie marks so badly!
Rarity: Do you really think that writing nasty things and making everypony feel horrible is your destiny?
Sweetie Belle: Well, when you put it that way...
Diamond Tiara: No! I won't let you quit!
Sweetie Belle: But the gossip we've been printing is hurting everypony's feelings!
Diamond Tiara: Feelings?! I don't care about feelings! Gabby Gums is my bread and butter, and I'm not gonna let you goody-two-horseshoes take that away from me!
Sweetie Belle: We're sorry, Diamond Tiara, but we've made our decision.
Scootaloo: Yeah, you can't force us to keep gossiping.
Diamond Tiara: When you see these... you may not want to quit after all.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
[camera snapping]
Diamond Tiara: I told Featherweight to document everything...
[camera snapping]
Diamond Tiara: ...And that's exactly what he did.
Scootaloo: [gasps] Gimme those!
Diamond Tiara: Sorry, girls, property of the Foal Free Press. And if Gabby Gums really does go into retirement, I'll need something to fill that empty column space. Now get out there and bring me more Gabby Gums!
Sweetie Belle: We'll find a way out of this, girls.
Scootaloo: Maybe Rainbow Dash will have a story for us. She's always good for some gossip.
Apple Bloom: Rainbow Dash! Hey, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Well, if it isn't Gabby Gums!
Sweetie Belle: You heard too, huh?
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? Everypony in town knows it's you three.
Scootaloo: Don't suppose you'd let us write a column on you, huh?
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[rain falling]
Fluttershy: [muffled crying]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, hi, Angel. Is Fluttershy home?
[door slams]
Scootaloo: [muffled] Hey, what gives?
Spike: A-ha! [muffled] Twilight thought you might try to show your faces around here, so she put up a force field.
Apple Bloom: Aw, c'mon, Applejack! You're not mad at us too, are you?
Applejack: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: You're not even gonna talk to us?
Applejack: Nnope.
Big McIntosh: You should be ashamed of yourself, humiliatin' your sister 'n' me like that. We don't wanna talk to any o' y'all right now so take your little gossip column and your embarrassing photographs and just go away!
[doors and windows slam]
Sweetie Belle: We've ruined all of our friendships and we still don't have our cutie marks!
Apple Bloom: This is the worst day ever!
Scootaloo: Oh yeah? Wait 'til tomorrow, our most embarrassing moments are about to be published for everypony to laugh at.
Apple Bloom: So what do we do?
Sweetie Belle: I don't know, but we're not leaving this clubhouse until we think of something!
[birds singing]
Diamond Tiara: That's it, Gabby Gums is out of time. Run these instead. I want this paper on every street corner in Ponyville!
"Shady Daze": Yes, ma'am!
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: Stop the presses!
"Shady Daze": Uh... they haven't started yet.
Scootaloo: We have a Gabby Gums column!
Diamond Tiara: Hmph, you're lucky I'm nice.
[typewriters clicking]
Diamond Tiara: This better not happen again, or else.
Diamond Tiara: [sighs] Well done, Diamond Tiara. You've averted yet another crisis with your amazing diplomatic skills. [gasps] "An Open Letter to Ponyville by Gabby Gums"?! What is this?! Ooh, they're not gonna get away with this! I'll publish those photos tomorrow! They messed with the wrong pony!
Sweetie Belle: To the citizens of Ponyville,
For some time now, you've been reading this column to get the latest dirt and the hottest buzz. But this will be my final piece. We want to apologize for the pain and embarrassment we've caused.
Apple Bloom: Y'see, I'm actually three little fillies, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo.
Scootaloo: As the popularity of our column grew, we got swept up in the hype. We knew that what we were doing didn't feel quite right, but we ignored the guilt because everypony seemed to want to read what we were writing.
Sweetie Belle: From now on, we promise to respect everypony else's privacy, and we won't engage in hurtful gossip any more.
Apple Bloom: All we can do is ask for your forgiveness, Ponyville.
Signing off for the very last time,
XOXO, Gabby Gums
Cheerilee: Well, staff, I guess I gave a little too much authority to a first-time editor. I'm sorry, Diamond Tiara, I have to strip you of your title. [thunk]
Diamond Tiara: [growls]
Cheerilee: And for the next editor of the Foal Free Press...
Diamond Tiara: [blows raspberry]
Cheerilee: ...here's your new editor-in-chief, Featherweight!
Students: [cheering]
Diamond Tiara: Ugh! Him? But what about me?!
"Shady Daze": Here ya go! I've been promoted to staff photographer!
[camera snaps]
[splat]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
[music]
[credits]

MMMystery on the Friendship Express

Pinkie Pie: Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. You've really outdone yourselves, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. This is sure to be the winning entry of this year's national dessert competition!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, thank you, Pinkie!
Mr. Cake: And thanks for transporting it all the way to Canterlot for us.
Pinkie Pie: Absolutely! It's my honor and I–
Applejack: Uh, beg pardon, but could we maybe move things along? This here cake's a mite heavy. Right, Big McIntosh?
Big McIntosh: [grunts] Eeyup...!
Pinkie Pie: Alrighty then, Big Mac! To the train depot! That's it, Big Mac, nice and slow. This is precious cargo you're carrying.
Mr. Cake: Yes, it took months of planning and testing.
Mrs. Cake: I would hate for it to–
Big McIntosh: [grunts]
Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake: Fall!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, a little pegassistance? I'll get it there safely, you'll see!
Mrs. Cake: Ahahah, oh... of course, Pinkie.
Mr. Cake: We never doubted you.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, can I see you a second? A nice protective spell as extra insurance. [laughs] Better safe than sorry. AJ, Rarity, one last thing? All right, everypony, we're in the home stretch here.
Mr. Cake: [wheezing]
Pinkie Pie: See, Mr. and Mrs. Cake? I got it here without a hitch! Now all we have to do is get it... in?
[theme song]
[squeaking]
[banging]
Pinkie Pie: [sigh] Thank you all for helping me get the cake safely on the dessert car.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you for inviting us all to go with you to Canterlot for the National Dessert Competition.
Rarity: I'm sure the festivities will be just lovely.
Applejack: Phooey on the festivities! I can't wait to try all those tasty treats!
[slap]
Pinkie Pie: Well, the tastiest treat of all is sure to be the Cakes' Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. All that rich creamy goodness of the marzipan, combined with the tart tanginess of the mascarpone, blended perfectly with the smooth, silky sweetness of the meringue. That's why I call the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness the "MMMM".
Rest of main cast: MMMM.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly. It's the most delicious delectable delightful de-lovely cake in Equestria, and it's sure to win first prize.
Gustave le Grand: Zis is not so, for I, Gustave le Grand, do challenge your crude cake to a duel of delectable delicacies against my exceptionally Exquisite Éclairs! They will undoubtedly strike down all ze competition, winning first prize and crowning me le champion.
Donut Joe: Not a chance, le Grand.
Twilight Sparkle: Donut Joe! What are you doing in Ponyville?
Donut Joe: Picking up the final all-important ingredient for my contest entry, Donutopia! And with these super-sprinkles, my donuts are going to dunk all the other lousy desserts, steal first prize, and make my donut shop famous forever! [laughs]
Mulia Mild: Oh, Joe... [laughs] Your dippy donuts could never out-rival me. [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: Hello. What's your name?
Mulia Mild: I am Mulia Mild. Behold, my Chocolate Mousse Moose. It will trample all your treats, be given first prize, and make me the greatest chef in Equestria.
Gustave le Grand: Madame Mild, you and your mousse moose are mistaken.
Donut Joe: Your frou-frou éclairs will never defeat my donuts!
Pinkie Pie: The Cakes' Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness is going to win!
Mulia Mild: Your simple cake could never take my moose. [gasp]
[train whistles]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it sure looks like we're in for a delicious competition tomorrow. Maybe we should all settle in for a good night's sleep.
Donut Joe: Hmph.
Mulia Mild: Nyahh.
Gustave le Grand: Huh! [mumbles]
[doors slam]
Rainbow Dash: [yawns] I gotta admit I'm pretty beat.
Applejack: Yeah, I'm gonna hit the hay myself.
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Didn't you hear those chefs? We have to protect "MMMM".
Rarity: MMMM?
Pinkie Pie: Mmm-hmmm. I know for super sure that "MMMM" is the best dessert in all of Equestria, and I know that they know it too.
Rainbow Dash: So...
Pinkie Pie: So... one of them is going to sabotage the Cakes' cake tonight! You have to help me stand guard!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie... you're overreacting.
Applejack: Yeah, those chefs aren't going to do your cake any harm.
Pinkie Pie: But they are! I just know it.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! If you want to stand guard, go for it. We're going to bed.
Pinkie Pie: I'll show them. I'll stay up all night and protect you. Nothing and nopony will stop me from keeping you safe.
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Stop, you saboteur! I have you now! Wha? A-ha! Ahh?! Oh! Thank Celestia you're okay! But one of those bakers is mixing up something bad, so I'm not leaving you again no matter what.
[blinds snap shut]
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Who turned out the moon? Don't go near that cake, thief!
[galloping]
Pinkie Pie: Stop, thief!
[clang]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, are you okay, thief? [growls] Huh... Overreacting, my hoof. I knew I was going to have to keep a close eye on you, and that's just what I'm gonna do. [snores]
[rooster crows]
Pinkie Pie: [snores] Huh? What? [gasp] The cake! Oh, MMMM, you look mmmm-marvelous.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: I know. I think some congratulations are in order for a job well done.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, you better hold off on giving yourself an award just yet, Pinkie. Look.
Pinkie Pie: Look at what? Huh? [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Applejack: What is it?
Rainbow Dash: What happened?
Pinkie Pie: It's the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, it's been [crying] mutilated!
[gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Now we just need to find out who done it.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean, who did it.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly. Who did-done-dood it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, having read many mystery novels, I know that the only way to discover the culprit is to investigate.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly.
[bubble pops]
Pinkie Pie: And as chief detective, that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Applejack: Uh, you're investigatin'?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! And Twilight shall be my lowly assistant who asks silly questions with obvious answers.
Twilight Sparkle: Fine, Pinkie. Should we start looking for clues?
Pinkie Pie: Perfect silly question, my dear Twilight. Because the obvious answer is...
Twilight Sparkle: Yes?
Pinkie Pie: No! 'Cause I know who did it.
[gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, how could you possibly know?
Pinkie Pie: How could I possibly not know? Clearly this dastardly deed was done by the baker, who knew their dessert could not measure up to the mastery of the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. I guess you feared your éclairs lacked flair, Gustave!
[silent film music]
Pinkie Pie: Thus, destroying the cake and the Cakes' chance of winning the National Dessert Competition.
Twilight Sparkle: But it makes no sense!
Pinkie Pie: What do you mean, lowly assistant?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, first, if you were tied to the train tracks, how are you now here?
Pinkie Pie: Huh... Guess that isn't a totally silly question.
Twilight Sparkle: And second, the cake hasn't been sliced. It's been bitten. Just look at the teeth marks!
Pinkie Pie: Hm... You're right, my fine fellow. Gustave le Grand is clearly in the clear, which means the "MMMM" was destroyed by another baker. A baker who's donuts are do-nots. That's right, it was Joe!
[spy music]
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Or as he's known the spy world, Mane. Con Mane.
[giggles]
[beeps]
[spraying noise]
[thud]
[laser noise]
Pinkie Pie: Crushing the Cakes' chances to win!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! There is no laser beam security system! And Joe is not sleek, stealthy Con Mane! He's big, gruff, and messy!
Donut Joe: Hey!
Rarity: Although, you would look rather dapper in a tuxedo.
Pinkie Pie: Huh... You may be right, lowly assistant.
Twilight Sparkle: May be?
Pinkie Pie: Now that I'm taking a closer look at these desserts, I see that one simply cannot look me in the eye.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie... that moose is a mousse!
Pinkie Pie: Yes, and the mule behind the moose panicked when she saw the mastery of the "MMMM".
Twilight Sparkle: So you're saying that the culprit is...
Pinkie Pie: Mulia Mild!
[ninja sounds]
[clang]
[cutting sounds]
[gong!]
Pinkie Pie: Putting an end to the Cakes' dreams of taking first prize. Huh, I hope you're proud of yourself, Mulia.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, stop! This is ridiculous! Look at her!
Mulia Mild: [whimper]
Pinkie Pie: [sigh] I guess you're right...
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
Pinkie Pie: But I was so sure that it was one of the other bitter bakers that destroyed the "MMMM". That way, their delicious dessert would reign supreme. I mean, just look at Joe's Donutopia. It's a spectacular city of donutty delight, topped temptingly in sprinklicious sprinkles. And Gustave's éclairs look incredibly edible, with glistening glaziness. But then there's Mulia Mild's Mousse Moose. [sighs] why, this mouth-wateringly marvelous mousse moose tempts the taste buds with its silky, smooth, yummy-nummy, chocolateyness. So why did this criminal devour the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness while leaving this trio of tasty treats untouched?
[munching sounds]
[scream]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] Now I have no idea who do-doned it!
Pinkie Pie: This mystery gets more mysterious every minute.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you have to stop the wild accusations and get to the truth. Everypony go back to your cars while we do a little investigating. Okay, Pinkie, in order to really solve this mystery, we're going to have to find clues. Now you were here at the scene of the crime all night.
Pinkie Pie: Huh! You're not accusing me, are you?
Twilight Sparkle: No! But maybe you saw something that will help us.
Pinkie Pie: I saw a silhouette in the moonlight!
Twilight Sparkle: Good... Let's retrace your steps.
Pinkie Pie: And then I chased the culprit down the train towards the caboose, but when I got there, he was gone.
Twilight Sparkle: Hm... A-ha! Our first clue. I think I know who did it, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Already?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but I need more evidence to confirm. Tell me what happened next.
Pinkie Pie: I heard somepony else in the dessert car and chased them up to the engine. But when I got there, all I saw was the conductor shoveling coal.
Twilight Sparkle: The conductor, huh? [gasp] But that doesn't make any sense. What happened next, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Well... I went back to the dessert car.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes?
Pinkie Pie: The curtains mysteriously closed, all on their own.
Twilight Sparkle: Interesting. Anything else?
Pinkie Pie: I heard hoofsteps, a loud thud...
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: ...and then they were gone! When I opened the curtains, I saw that the portrait by the door was all crooked.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, what is that?
Pinkie Pie: [growling]
[teapot whistling]
Twilight Sparkle: What next Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: That's it. I was here guarding the cake the rest of the night. I mean... I slept by the cake the rest of the night.
Twilight Sparkle: And when you woke up, half the cake was gone?
Pinkie Pie: Exactly.
Twilight Sparkle: By Jove, I think I've got it. Call everypony back. We have a cake culprit to catch.
Mulia Mild: [stuttering] Why are we all here again?
Twilight Sparkle: I bet you're wondering why you're all here again.
Donut Joe: She's good.
Twilight Sparkle: We have discovered the true culprit of this cake carnage.
Gustave le Grand: But how?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you see, when committing a crime, it's crucial that one never leaves behind clues, especially an obvious clue like... this.
[gasp]
Pinkie Pie: A-ha! A blue feather! I knew it was you, Gustave le Grand!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, Gustave doesn't have blue feathers.
Pinkie Pie: No, 'cause he's been dyeing them!
Twilight Sparkle: No, Pinkie. Remember how when you chased the suspect to the caboose, they suddenly disappeared? That's because they flew away. But the thief did leave a little something behind, didn't you, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I-I don't even like cake!
Pinkie Pie: So Rainbow Dash did it! Case solved!
Twilight Sparkle: Case not solved, because when we went to the engine, I saw the conductor's hat. And inside the hat was... this.
Pinkie Pie: So it was you! That pink hair came from your rainbow-colored mane!
Rainbow Dash: I don't have pink in my mane, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: So you're wearing a wig?
[stretching noises]
Rainbow Dash: Ow! Cut it out!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, remember? You chased a pony to the engine, where you thought you saw the conductor shoveling coal, but that wasn't the conductor at all. It was... Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [gasp] Oh my.
Pinkie Pie: You're goin' down, Fluttershy!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! But then another clue confounded my suspicions. You were guarding the cake when the curtains mysteriously closed. But that's no mystery, that's magic. But when the thief tried to make their great escape, they left a little addition to the portrait. Has anypony else noticed that Rarity is wearing her hair rather differently today?
Rarity: [gasp] What? Is it a crime to change one's style now and again? Why, I think it's a crime not to.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Rarity: Fine, I'm guilty! [crying] I wear false eyelashes! Oh, and I took a bite of the cake.
Fluttershy: So did I.
Rainbow Dash: Aw nuts, so did I.
Rarity: You just made it sound so delectable.
Fluttershy: So tasty.
Rainbow Dash: And boy was it!
Rarity: I only meant to take a little, lady-like bite.
Fluttershy: And it was so good.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I just dove right in!
Fluttershy: But I'm really really sorry.
Rarity: Terribly sorry.
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: That's okay. At least this mystery is finally solved.
Twilight Sparkle: But it isn't. We figured out who ate the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, but we still don't know who devoured the other bakers' goods.
Pinkie Pie: You're right, Twilight. You know what we have to do?
Twilight Sparkle: Well... Yes, I do. Do you?
Pinkie Pie: Look for clues! [sniffing] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, Pinkie. Did you find the devourer of the desserts?
Pinkie Pie: I most certainly did. It was none other than... the bakers!
[gasp]
Pinkie Pie: First of all, Gustave has mousse in his moustache! And Joe has éclair in his hair! And Mulia has sprinkles in her wrinkles!
Twilight Sparkle: What do you say, bakers?
Gustave le Grand: Oh, I am so sorry, Mulia, but Pinkie made your mousse moose sound... très magnifique.
Donut Joe: And Pinkie's description of your éclairs really did make 'em sound scrumptious.
Mulia Mild: And the way she spoke of your Donutopia, ohh, was too delectable to resist.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, everypony, we finally have the mystery solved.
Gustave le Grand: Yes, but now we don't have any desserts to enter into ze contest!
Pinkie Pie: I think we can fix that. Come on!
Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that it is not good to jump to conclusions. You have to find out all the facts before saying somepony did something. If you don't, you could end up blaming somepony for something they never did. This could hurt their feelings, and it can make you look really foolish. So from now on, I will always make sure to get all the facts.
Pinkie Pie: How's that for a lesson, Princess Celestia?
Twilight Sparkle: Care for a bite?
Pinkie Pie: I don't mind if I do.
[munching sounds]
Pinkie Pie: Mmmmm.
[laughter]
[music]
[credits]

A Canterlot Wedding - Part 1

Rarity: Ahh!
[running footsteps]
Rarity: It is gorgeous out. Just gorgeous!
[running footsteps]
Applejack: [slurp]
[running footsteps]
Spike: Twi... light! ...I... have... Lemme just... [deep breath] [belch]
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot. [to the others] Wedding? [reading] I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music.
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness! What an honor!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, I can think of no one more qualified than you to host the reception.
Pinkie Pie: Hip, hip, hooray!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you will be in charge of the catering for the reception.
Applejack: Well, color me pleased as punch!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash–
Rainbow Dash: [yawn]
Twilight Sparkle: ...I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom complete their "I do"'s.
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids.
Rarity: Princess Celestia wants me to– [unintelligible] ...wedding dress? For a Canterlot wedding... I, ah, ooh, oooh!
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: And as for you, Twilight, you will be playing the most important role of all: Making sure that everything goes as planned. See you all very soon. Yours, Princess Celestia. But... I don't understand. Who's getting married?
Spike: Oh, wait! Uh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and... [gasp] My brother?!
[theme song]
Applejack: Your brother's getting married? Congratulations, Twilight! That's great news!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, great news. That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper! Thanks a lot, Shining Armor. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally? [as Shining Armor] Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, never mind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation. [normal] Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in the hoof is that?! [snort]
Fluttershy: Um, Twilight? Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, it's just that Shining Armor and I have always been so close. He's my B.B.B.F.F! [beat] Big Brother Best Friend Forever?
Rest of main cast: Ohhh!
Twilight Sparkle: Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Shining Armor was the only pony I ever really accepted as a friend.
When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly
To see how many other ponies I could meet
I had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever need
Other ponies to make my life complete
But there was one colt that I cared for
I knew he would be there for me
My big brother, best friend forever!
Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together
He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)
We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)
We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams
I miss him more than I realized
It seems...
[Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity]
Your big brother, best friend forever
Like two peas in a pod, you did everything together
[Twilight Sparkle]
And though he's, oh, so far away
I hoped that he would stay
My big brother best friend
Forever...
Forever...
Applejack: As one of your P.F.F.'s... [beat] Pony Friends Forever...
Rest of main cast: Ohhh!
Applejack: ...I wanna tell you that I think your brother sounds like a real good guy.
Twilight Sparkle: He is pretty special. I mean, they don't let just anypony be captain of the Royal Guard.
Rarity: [chirp] So let me get this straight. We're helping out with the wedding of not only a princess, but a captain of the Royal Guard?
Twilight Sparkle: I guess we are.
Rarity: Ooh, ooh, oooh!
[thump]
Rest of main cast: [excited chattering]
Rainbow Dash: A sonic rainboom? At a wedding?! Can you say "best wedding ever"?!
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] [echoing] Best wedding ever!
Spike: So you all get to help with the big fancy wedding, but I'm the one who gets to host the bachelor party! I have just one question. What's a bachelor party?
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Fluttershy: [laughter]
Applejack: Why the long face, sugarcube?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm just thinking about Shining Armor. Ever since I moved to Ponyville, we've been seeing each other less and less. And now that he's starting a new family with this "Princess Mi Amore Ca-whatshername", we'll probably never see each other.
Applejack: Come on, now. You're his sister. He'll always make time for you.
Twilight Sparkle: Couldn't seem to make time to tell me he was getting married.
Pinkie Pie: We're here, we're here!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, what's with all the guards?
Rarity: I'm sure they're just taking the necessary precautions. Royal weddings do bring out the strangest ponies.
Pinkie Pie: Aaaaaaaaa– [sneezes like a trumpet]
Rarity: Now, let's get going! We've got work to do!
Applejack: And you've got a big brother to go congratulate.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. Congratulate. And then give him a piece of my mind.
Twilight Sparkle: I've got something to say to you, mister.
Shining Armor: Twily! Ah, I've missed, you, kid. How was the train ride? I–
Twilight Sparkle: How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married! I'm your sister, for pony's sake!
Shining Armor: It's not my fault! Princess Celestia has requested a major increase in security. Didn't you see all the guards at the train station?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, there's a big wedding coming up. Maybe you heard about it?
Shining Armor: It has nothing to do with the wedding. A threat has been made against Canterlot. We don't know who's responsible for it, but Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection. This, you need to see.
[pop]
Shining Armor: [gasps] The burden of keeping Canterlot safe and secure rests squarely on my shoulders. Staying focused on the task at hand has been my top priority.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, okay, I get it. You've got a really important job protecting all of Canterlot with a force field only you can conjure up. But still... how could you not tell me about something as big as your wedding? Am I not that important to you any more?
Shining Armor: Hey. You're my little sister. Of course you're important to me. But I'd understand if you didn't want to be my best mare now.
Twilight Sparkle: You want me to be your best mare?
Shining Armor: Well... yeah.
Twilight Sparkle: I'd be honored! But I'm still pretty ticked you're marrying somepony I don't even know! When did you even meet this "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza"?
Shining Armor: Twily, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance, your old foalsitter.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance? As in the Cadance? As in the greatest foalsitter in all the history of foalsitters?!
Shining Armor: [chuckles] You tell me. She was your foalsitter.
Twilight Sparkle: Ohmygoshohmygosh! Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever! She's beautiful, she's caring, she's kind...
Young Twilight Sparkle: I am so lucky to have you as my foalsitter!
Young Cadance: I'm the one who's lucky, Twilight.
Young Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs] You're a princess. I'm just a regular old unicorn.
Young Cadance: You are anything but a regular old unicorn.
Young Twilight and Young Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake! [laughing]
Wild Fire: I am going for a hooficure and that is that!
Lucky Clover: You are not going–
Wild Fire: I am! I am!
Lucky Clover: I've already paid for three this month!
Wild Fire: I... no! My girlfriends are all getting their hooves done! And you said that onl–
Lucky Clover: Please, we've done this at least–
Lucky Clover and Wild Fire: [suddenly stop arguing]
Lucky Clover: Oh! Ho, ho, ho.
Wild Fire: Oh, sweetie. You just did that face.
Twilight Sparkle: How many unicorns can just spread love wherever they go? I only know of one! And you're marrying her! [sing-song voice] You're marrying Cadance! You're marrying Cadance!
Princess Cadance: I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance! Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!
Princess Cadance: What are you doing?
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance, it's me, Twilight!
Princess Cadance: [uninterested] Uh-huh.
Shining Armor: I've gotta get back to my station, but Cadance will be checking in with all of you to see how things are going. I think I speak for both of us when I say we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Right, dear?
Princess Cadance: Absolutely.
Shining Armor: Well, we'll let you get to it.
[country music]
Applejack: Cake, check. Ice sculpture, check. Best darn bite-size apple fritter you ever tasted...
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm. Check.
Spike: [deep voice] I do. Do you? [high voice] I do! [kissing noises] [laughs nervously]
Applejack: Hiya, Princess!
Princess Cadance: Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.
Applejack: Hiya, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. You come to check out what's on the menu for your big day?
Princess Cadance: I have!
[sinister chords]
Princess Cadance: [gulp] Delicious! I love-love-love them. [laughs nervously]
Applejack: Aw, shucks. Why don't you take a few to go? [squee] I know how you brides can be. So busy, you forget to get a little somethin' in your belly.
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Did... you see what she...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you should have seen how she acted back there. I don't know when she changed, but she changed! [imitating Cadance] "Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
Princess Cadance: Did I hear someone say my name?
Rarity: Your highness! Let me just start by saying what an honor it is to play a role in such a momentous occasion. [laughs nervously]
Princess Cadance: [unenthusiastically] Uh-huh. Is my dress ready?
Rarity: [stammers] Yes, of course. Um, I've been working on it ever since I was given the assignment, and I think you'll be pleased with the results! Mmm!
Princess Cadance: I was hoping for something with more beading and a longer train.
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course.
Princess Cadance: And those should be a different color.
Twinkleshine: I think they're lovely.
Minuette: Me too!
Lyra Heartstrings: I love them.
Princess Cadance: Make them a different color.
Twilight Sparkle: Gee, maybe her name should be "Princess Demandy-pants."
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, let me see. We've been over the games... [rattles dice] ...the dances...
[polka from Swarm of the Century plays and stops]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I think this reception is gonna be perfect! Don't you?
Princess Cadance: Perfect! ...If we were celebrating a six-year-old's birthday party.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Thank you!
Princess Luna: Rest, my sister. As always, I will guard the night.
Twilight Sparkle: Bet I can guess what you're all thinking. Cadance is the absolute worst bride-to-be ever.
Spike: [high voice] Who, me?
Applejack: Spike! That goes on the cake.
Spike: [laughs nervously]
Rarity: Twilight, whatever are you talking about? Cadance is an absolute gem!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, she was so demanding!
Rarity: Well, of course she is! Why shouldn't she expect the very best on her wedding day?
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, did you know that after she told you how much she just 'love-love-loved' your hors d'eouvres, she threw them in the trash?
Applejack: Aw, she was probably just trying to spare my feelin's.
Twilight Sparkle: No, she was just being fake and totally insincere!
Fluttershy: She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal.
Twilight Sparkle: See? Rude!
Fluttershy: But he was singing really off-key.
[bird sings off-key]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you had to have noticed how Cadance treated–
Pinkie Pie and Spike: [kissing noises and laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Never mind. Rainbow Dash, you're with me, right?
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, Twi. Been too busy prepping for my sonic rainboom to pay much attention to the bride's bad attitude.
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
Rarity: The princess is about to get married. I'm sure any negative behavior she might be displaying is simply the result of nerves.
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm sure it's the result of being an awful pony who doesn't deserve to even know Shining Armor, let alone marry him!
Applejack: Think maybe you're bein' just a tiny bit possessive of your brother?
Rest of main cast: Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: I am not being possessive, and I am not taking it out on Cadance! You're all just too caught up in your wedding planning to notice that maybe there shouldn't even [thumps table] be a wedding!
[knocking]
Shining Armor: Twily! Your big brother's looking pretty good, don't you think? Huh. Everything okay?
Twilight Sparkle: We need to talk. I think you're making a big–
Princess Cadance: [clears throat]
Shining Armor: Oh, uh, hi, sweetie.
Twilight Sparkle: She sure has a way of sneaking up on people.
Princess Cadance: Could I speak to you for a moment, dear?
Shining Armor: Better see what she wants.
Princess Cadance: [muffled] Look, we need to talk.
Shining Armor: [muffled] I'm here to talk.
Princess Cadance: [muffled] It's about your sister, okay?
Shining Armor: [muffled] I– look, look, she's okay–
Princess Cadance: [muffled] Just... listen to me, (over Shining Armor) alright? No no–
Shining Armor: [muffled] I'm listening, I'm listening.
Princess Cadance: [muffled] I thought I made it perfectly clear I didn't want you to wear that.
Shining Armor: This was my favorite uncle's.
Princess Cadance: And?
Shining Armor: And I think I should wear it.
Princess Cadance: Are you disagreeing with me?
Shining Armor: I guess I am– Ah!
Princess Cadance: Oh, dear. Are you getting another one of your headaches?
Shining Armor: Gyah!
Princess Cadance: Feeling better?
Shining Armor: [grunts] Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: She isn't just unpleasant and rude. She's downright evil!
Shining Armor: Twilight!
Princess Cadance: Let her go.
Shining Armor: Huh. It seemed like she had something else she wanted to tell me.
Princess Luna: Who goes there? Stay indoors, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor's in real trouble! You have to help–
Rest of main cast: [various chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Dresses? What are you–?
Fluttershy: Can you believe it? We're gonna be Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's new bridesmaids!
Twilight Sparkle: New bridesmaids? What happened to her old bridesmaids?
Applejack: She didn't say. But she did tell us that she would love-love-love it if we'd fill in for them.
Rarity: Seeing as we've been working so hard and everything.
Applejack: And you had your doubts about her.
Rarity: Told you she was an absolute gem!
Rainbow Dash: You sure this is what I should wear? Doesn't seem all that aerodynamic.
Rarity: Hmm. I'll see what I can do.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy: [excited chatter and laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like I really am on my own.
[church organ music]
Princess Celestia: Perfect, girls. No need to rush. Then of course, Cadance will enter.
[Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" plays]
Princess Celestia: I'll say a few words, and then we'll begin with the vows. Shining Armor, you'll get the ring from your best mare.
Spike: [deep voice] Do you? [high voice] I do!
Shining Armor: Hey... has anypony seen Twilight?
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm here! I'm not gonna stand next to her! And neither should you!
Shining Armor: I'm sorry, I... I don't know why she's acting like this.
Princess Cadance: Maybe we should just ignore her.
Twilight Sparkle: You have to listen to me!
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fine.
Applejack: Ya sure about that?
Twilight Sparkle: I've got something to say! She's evil!
Rest of main cast: [concerned chattering]
Royal guard: [inaudible comment to other guard]
Twilight Sparkle: She's been horrible to my friends, she's obviously done something to her bridesmaids, and if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all [bells jangling]!
Princess Cadance: [starts crying] Why are you doing this to me?!
Twilight Sparkle: Because you're evil!
Princess Cadance: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Evil! And if I don't stop you, you're gonna ruin my brother's life!
[smack]
Shining Armor: You want to know why my eyes went all [bells jangling]? Nuh! Because ever since I started having to perform my protection spell, I've been getting terrible migraines. Cadance hasn't been casting spells on me. She's been using her magic to heal me!
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales]
Shining Armor: And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding was so that they could meet Canterlot royalty! And if she hasn't been on her best behavior with your [stomps hoof] friends, it's because with me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding!
Twilight Sparkle: I was just trying to–
Shining Armor: She's been completely stressed out because it's really important to her that our big day be perfect! Something that obviously wasn't important to you! [gasps] Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and comfort my bride. And you can forget about being my best mare. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all.
Applejack: C'mon, y'all. Let's go check on the princess.
Twilight Sparkle: I was–
Princess Celestia: You have a lot to think about.
[doors slam]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I was being overprotective. I could've gained a sister. But instead... I just lost a brother.
He was my big brother, best friend
Forever...
And now, we'll never do anything
Together...
[smashing noise]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry!
Princess Cadance: You will be.
[flames crackling]
[To be continued...]
[music]
[credits]

A Canterlot Wedding - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: "Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and..." [gasp] My brother?
Shining Armor: Twily! Ah, I've missed you, kid.
Twilight Sparkle: How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married!
Shining Armor: A threat has been made against Canterlot. Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection.
Twilight Sparkle: But I'm still pretty ticked you're marrying somepony I don't even know.
Shining Armor: Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever!
Princess Cadance: I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance, it's me! Twilight!
Princess Cadance: [uninterested] Uh-huh.
Shining Armor: And I think I should wear it.
Princess Cadance: Are you disagreeing with me?
Twilight Sparkle: She's evil! I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all [bells jangling]!
Shining Armor: Cadance hasn't been casting spells on me. She's been using her magic to heal me! If I were you, I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all.
Twilight Sparkle: I just lost a brother. I'm sorry!
Princess Cadance: You will be.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] Hello? Is anyone there?
[thud]
[laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Where am I?
Princess Cadance: The caves beneath Canterlot, once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside. And now, your prison.
Twilight Sparkle: Help! Help!
Princess Cadance: [laughing] It's no use. No one can hear you. And no one will ever think to look for you, either. Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist, which is why they are the ideal place to keep the ones who try to interfere with my plans. [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Plans? What plans?
Princess Cadance: The plans I have for your brother, of course.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't you dare do anything to my brother, you... you monster!
Princess Cadance: Only way to stop me is to catch me! [laughing] Over here! [laughing] Nope, over here! [laughing]
[glass breaking]
Princess Cadance: No! Wait! Ugh! Please! Don't hurt me! Twilight, it's me! Please, you have to believe me. I've been imprisoned like you. The Cadance who brought you down here was an imposter.
Twilight Sparkle: Likely story!
Princess Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves...
Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance: ...and do a little shake.
Twilight Sparkle: You remember me!
Princess Cadance: Of course I do. How could I forget the filly I love to sit for the most?
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: We have to get out of here. We have to stop her!
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]
[Queen Chrysalis]
This day is going to be perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
Everypony will gather 'round
Say I look lovely in my gown
What they don't know is that I have fooled them all!
[Princess Cadance]
This day was going to be perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
But instead of having cake
With all my friends to celebrate
My wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all…
[Queen Chrysalis]
I could care less about the dress
I won't partake in any cake
Vows, well I'll be lying when I say
That through any kind of weather
I'll want us to be together
The truth is I don't care for him at all
No I do not love the groom
In my heart there is no room
But I still want him to be all mine
[Princess Cadance]
We must escape before it's too late
Find a way to save the day
Hope, I'll be lying if I say
"I don't fear that I may lose him
To one who wants to use him
Not care for, love, and cherish him each day"
For I oh so love the groom
All my thoughts he does consume
Oh, Shining Armor, I'll be there very soon
[Queen Chrysalis]
Finally the moment has arrived
For me to be one lucky bride
[Princess Cadance]
Oh, the wedding we won't make
He'll end up marrying a fake
Shining Armor will be...
Queen Chrysalis: ...mine, all mine. [evil laugh]
[organ music]
Princess Celestia: Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the union of [muffled] Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor.
Princess Cadance: Oh, we're never going to save him.
Twilight Sparkle: We will. We just have to find... There!
Minuette, Lyra Heartstrings, and Twinkleshine: You're not going anywhere.
Princess Celestia: Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you–
Twilight Sparkle: Stop!
[ponies chattering]
Queen Chrysalis: Ugh! Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother? [sobbing] Why does she have to ruin my special day?
Princess Cadance: Because it's not your special day! It's mine!
[ponies gasp]
Queen Chrysalis: What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?
Minuette, Lyra Heartstrings, and Twinkleshine: I want it!
Queen Chrysalis: Hmph. Clever. But you're still too late.
Applejack: I-I don't understand. How can there be two of 'em?
Princess Cadance: She's a changeling. She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them.
[flames roaring]
[ponies gasp]
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] Right you are, Princess. And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!
Princess Cadance: They'll never get the chance! Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!
Queen Chrysalis: [chuckling] Oh, I doubt that. Isn't that right, dear?
Shining Armor: Mm-hmm.
Queen Chrysalis: Ah, ah, ah. Don't want to go back to the caves, now do you? Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now, my minions are chipping away at it.
Changelings: [laughing]
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now.
Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance: [gasp]
Queen Chrysalis: And, I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the Royal Guard.
Princess Cadance: Not my Shining Armor!
Queen Chrysalis: Soon, my changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot. And then, all of Equestria!
Princess Celestia: No. You won't. You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!
Queen Chrysalis: [grunting]
[explosion]
[crown clatters]
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia!
Queen Chrysalis: Ah! Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought! Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!
Princess Celestia: The Elements of Harmony. You must get to them and use their power to defeat the queen.
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy: Rarity!
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] You can run, but you can't hide!
Changelings: [laughing]
[barrier breaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Go, go!
Rainbow Dash: Looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way. How did you...?
Twilight Sparkle: They're changelings, remember?
Changelings [as Twilight Sparkle]: They're changelings, remember?
Twilight Sparkle: Don't let them distract you. We have to get to the Elements of Harmony. They're our only hope.
[various fighting sounds]
Changelings [as Rainbow Dash]: [growls]
Changeling: [hisses]
Applejack: Okay, this is just gettin' weird. Real me! Real me!
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] Do me! Do me! Meh, I've seen better.
[changelings buzzing]
Princess Cadance: You won't get away with this! Twilight and her friends will–
[doors open]
Queen Chrysalis: You were saying? You do realize the reception's been cancelled, don't you? Go! Feed!
[doors close]
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] It's funny, really. Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along. Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct! [laughing]
Applejack: Sorry, Twi. We should've listened to you.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not your fault. She fooled everypony.
Queen Chrysalis: Hmm, I did, didn't I?
This day has been just perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
Everypony I'll soon control
Every stallion, mare, and foal
Who says a girl can't really have it all? [evil laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Quick! Go to him while you still have the chance!
[electric sounds]
Shining Armor: Wha– where... huh? Is...is the wedding over?
Queen Chrysalis: It's all over!
Twilight Sparkle: Your spell! Perform your spell!
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] What good would that do? My changelings already roam free.
Shining Armor: No! My power is useless now. I don't have the strength to repel them.
Princess Cadance: My love will give you strength.
Queen Chrysalis: [chuckling] What a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment.
[magic twinkling and surging]
Queen Chrysalis: Noooooo!
Queen Chrysalis and Changelings: [screaming]
Princess Celestia: Don't worry about me. I'm fine. You have a real wedding to put together.
Princess Cadance: [gulp]
[birds chirping]
[cymbals crashing]
[birds whistling Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"]
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Seriously, though. I get why the queen of the changelings wanted to be with you, but how did you get someone as amazing as Cadance to marry you?
Shining Armor: I told her she wouldn't just be gaining a husband. She'd be getting a pretty great sister, too.
Princess Celestia: Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the real Princess Mi Amore Cadenza–
Princess Cadance: Princess Cadance is fine.
Princess Celestia: Hm. The union of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. May we have the rings please? I now pronounce you mare and colt!
[cheering]
Princess Celestia: This is your victory as much as theirs. You persisted in the face of doubt, and your actions led to your being able to bring the real Princess Cadance back to us. Learning to trust your instincts is a valuable lesson to learn.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance: [kissing]
Princess Celestia: Rainbow Dash, that's your cue.
[explosion]
Rainbow Dash: Best... wedding... ever!
["Love Is In Bloom" starting]
Princess Luna: Hello, everypony. Did I miss anything?
Pinkie Pie: [squee] Let's get this party started!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom,
Two hearts becoming one
A bond that cannot be undone because
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us (For us, For us....)
Shining Armor: Twilight! None of this would've been possible without you, little sis. Love ya, Twily.
Twilight Sparkle: Love you too, B.B.B.F.F.
Shining Armor: Ready to go?
Princess Cadance: Oh! Almost forgot.
Rarity: IT'S MINE! Oof! Ahaha... ha.
[Twilight Sparkle] [background]
Love is in bloom
A beautiful bride, a handsome groom
I said love is in bloom
You're starting a life and making room
For us, (For us... For us... Aah...)
Twilight Sparkle: Now this was a great wedding.
Spike: Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party! [laughing]
Everypony: [laughing]
[fireworks]
[music]
[credits]

The Crystal Empire - Part 1

Royal guard #1: News from Northern Equestria! Uh... Your Highness.
Princess Celestia: Yes?
Royal guard #1: I am simply to tell you that it has returned.
Princess Celestia: [gasp] Find Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.
Royal guard #2: Yes, Your Highness.
Princess Celestia: My dearest Twilight, you must come to Canterlot at once.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: [panicked breathing] Where are all my quills? Brbrbr. No, no, no, no, no... Ugh! I need the Magical Compendium volumes 1 through 36! Where is it?!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Flash cards! I should make some flash cards. Spike, I'm gonna need you to quiz me. On everything. Everything I've ever learned. Ever. That isn't going to be enough cards.
Spike: Twilight, calm down. It's just a test.
Twilight Sparkle: Just a test? Just a test!? Princess Celestia wants to give me some kind of exam, and you're trying to tell me to calm down because it's just a test?!
Spike: Uh... yes.
Applejack: I'd say she's handling things pretty well, considerin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Urgh!
[explosion]
Princess Luna: Are you sure you don't want me to go as well?
Princess Celestia: Yes. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor are already there. The others will be joining them soon.
Princess Luna: The Empire's magic is powerful. It cannot fall again, my sister.
Princess Celestia: She will succeed at her task. And when she does, we'll know that she is that much closer to being ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Ahem.
Princess Celestia: Trust me, little sister.
Twilight Sparkle: You wanted to see me? To give me a test? I brought my own quills and plenty of paper to show my work. Sorry, sorry!
Princess Celestia: This is a different kind of test. The Crystal Empire has returned.
Twilight Sparkle: The Crystal Empire? I'm sorry, I-I thought I'd studied. Ooh. I don't think there's anything in any of my books th–
Princess Celestia: There wouldn't be. Few remember it ever existed at all. Even my knowledge of the Empire is limited. But what I do know is that it contains a powerful magic. One thousand years ago, King Sombra, a unicorn whose heart was black as night, took over the Crystal Empire.
King Sombra: [growls]
[chains jangling]
Princess Celestia: He was ultimately overthrown, turned to shadow, and banished to the ice of the arctic north.
King Sombra: [roars]
Princess Celestia: But not before he was able to put a curse upon the Empire. A curse that caused it to vanish into thin air. If the Empire is filled with hope and love, those things are reflected across all of Equestria. If hatred and fear take hold... Which is why I need your help finding a way to protect it.
Twilight Sparkle: You want me to help protect an entire empire?
Princess Celestia: It is, as I said, a different kind of test. But one I'm certain you will pass.
Twilight Sparkle: How do I begin?
Princess Celestia: By joining Princess Cadance and Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire.
Twilight Sparkle: My brother is there?
Princess Celestia: He is. And your Ponyville friends will join you there as well. I have every confidence you will succeed. And when you do, I'll know you are ready to move on to the next level of your studies.
Twilight Sparkle: But what if I fail?
Princess Celestia: You won't.
Twilight Sparkle: But what if–
Princess Celestia: You won't. But Twilight, in the end, it must be you and you alone who ultimately assists Princess Cadance and Shining Armor in doing what needs to be done to protect the Empire. Do you understand?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm!
Princess Celestia: Then go. There is no time to lose.
Spike: Ah! Twilight! That was fast! Let me guess, you got a perfect score? A-minus? B-plus? [gasp] Twilight, did you... [quietly] fail?
[Twilight Sparkle]
I was prepared to do my best
Thought I could handle any test
For I can do so many tricks
But I wasn't prepared for this
Levitation would have been a breeze
Facts and figures I recite with ease
Twilight Sparkle: The square root of five hundred and forty-six is twenty-three point three six six six four two eight nine one zero nine.
Professor Bill Neigh: She is correct!
[Twilight Sparkle]
I could ace a quiz on friendship's bliss
But I wasn't prepared for this
Will I fail, or will I pass?
I can't be sure...
[Spike]
She can't be sure...
[Twilight Sparkle]
My mind is sharp, my skills intact
My heart is pure...
[Spike]
Her heart is pure...
[Twilight Sparkle]
Oh, I've taken my share of licks
I've made it through the thin and thick
But no I wasn't
[Spike]
Oh no, she wasn't
[Twilight Sparkle]
Oh no, I wasn't
[Spike]
Oh no, she wasn't
[Twilight Sparkle]
No I wasn't
[Twilight Sparkle and Spike]
Prepared... for this!
Spike: Uh, prepared for what exactly?
Applejack: Twilight! Uh, did you pass?
Pinkie Pie: Are we gonna celebrate your awesomeness with Princess Celestia?
Twilight Sparkle: Not quite. We're going to the Crystal Empire!
All: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: Crystal what?
[train whistle]
[strong wind blowing]
Rarity: Ha! And you all made fun of me for packing so many scarves.
Spike: [grunts] I didn't say a word. Whoa! Hey! C'mere... [fades out]
Shining Armor: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor?
Shining Armor: Twily! You made it! We'd better get moving. There are things out here we really don't want to run into after dark.
Fluttershy: [gulp] What kind of things?
Shining Armor: Let's just say the Empire... isn't the only thing that's returned.
Shining Armor: Something keeps trying to get in! We think it's the unicorn king who originally cursed the place.
Twilight Sparkle: But Princess Celestia said I was being sent here to find a way to protect the Empire! If King Sombra can't get in, then it must already be protected.
[howl]
Fluttershy: [gasp] Th-That's one of the things, isn't it?
Shining Armor: Guh. We have to get to the Crystal Empire! Now!
King Sombra: [growls] [roars]
Twilight Sparkle: Go, go!
Shining Armor: Almost there.
King Sombra: [growls]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps for breath] Everypony okay?
Other ponies: [general agreement whilst gasping for breath]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Shining Armor, your horn!
[electric crackling]
Pinkie Pie: Sparkleriffic!
Rarity: It's gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous! [mumbles incoherently] There are no words!
Applejack: Focus, Rarity. We're here to help Twilight, not admire the scenery.
Rainbow Dash: Eh, I don't see what the big deal is. Just looks like another old castle to me.
Rarity: A– p– guh! Another old...! Have you lost your mind? Look at the magni–
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Rarity: Very funny.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance!
Princess Cadance: Ooh.
Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake! [laughs]
Princess Cadance: One of these days we need to get together when the fate of Equestria isn't hanging in the balance. [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you okay?
Shining Armor: Cadance has been able to use her magic to spread love and light. That seems to be what is protecting it. But she hasn't slept, barely eats. I want to help her, but my protection spell has been countered by King Sombra.
Princess Cadance: [breathes deeply] It's alright Shining Armor, I'm fine.
Shining Armor: She's not fine. She can't go on like this forever, and if her magic were to fade... Well, you saw what's out there waiting for that to happen.
Twilight Sparkle: That's why we're here.
Applejack: Why we're all here.
Other ponies: Mm-hmm.
Shining Armor: Well, with Cadance putting all her strength into keeping her spell going, and me trying to keep an eye on signs of trouble in the arctic, we haven't been able to gather much information from the Crystal Ponies.
Rarity: Crystal Ponies?! Hahaha, there are Crystal Ponies?! Um, ahem. Please continue.
Shining Armor: But we have to believe one of them knows how we can protect the Empire without having to use Cadance's magic.
Twilight Sparkle: A research paper!
Shining Armor: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: That must be part of my test – to gather information from the Crystal Ponies and deliver it to you! This is gonna be great! I love research papers!
Rainbow Dash: [sarcastically] Yeah, who doesn't?
Pinkie Pie: Oh-oh-oh! Lemme guess! Is it Spike? Nono, Fluttershy! Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, big brother. I am really good at this sort of thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure? Absolutely sure?
Autumn Gem: I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. But I... can't seem to remember anything before King Sombra came to power. [flash] And I don't want to remember anything about the time he ruled over us. [shudders]
Twilight Sparkle: King Sombra's spell must be why their coats aren't... crystally.
Autumn Gem: Have we really been gone a thousand years?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes.
Autumn Gem: It feels like it was just yesterday.
Twilight Sparkle: If you think of anything, even the smallest thing...
Autumn Gem: Of course.
Spike: Well, that was a total bust.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe the others are having better luck.
Rainbow Dash: A way to protect the Empire! You know anything about it or what?
Fleur De Verre: I wish I could help you. Really.
Rainbow Dash: Hold on! You gotta know something!
Fleur De Verre: But... I don't have any information.
Fluttershy: Oh, um. Excuse me! Oh! Hello! Umm, I was just wondering. [deep breath] Oh, oh, that's okay, um, you all look really busy. [laughs nervously]
Pinkie Pie: Time to gather some intel!
Elbow Grease: It just feels like something is missing.
"Night Knight": I know. It looks the same, but it doesn't feel the same.
Pinkie Pie: Because it isn't!
Elbow Grease: [gasps] A spy!
Pinkie Pie: [screams] A spy? How did they know? Ah! Must have noticed my night vision goggles. Ooh! Night vision-y!
[clang]
Rarity: Hm-hm-hmmm. And when you flip your mane, it simply must create a rainbow of color. Oh! Wouldn't I look just magnificent? So sparkly! [titters]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I got nothing so far.
Rarity: Oh, me neither.
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] My cover has been blown. I repeat, my cover has been blown!
Twilight Sparkle: Ooookay.
Applejack: Sorry, Twilight. These crystal ponies seem to have some kinda collective amnesia or somethin'. Only thing I was able to get out of 'em was somethin' about a library.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] A library? Well, why didn't you say so?!
Applejack: Uh... thought I just did.
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: I just... I don't even know what to... There are no words.
Amethyst Maresbury: Ahem. May I help you?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes. We're looking for a book.
Amethyst Maresbury: We have plenty of those.
Twilight Sparkle: [in awe] You do. You really do.
Applejack: We're lookin' for a history book. Somethin' that might tell us how the Empire might've protected itself from danger back in the day.
Amethyst Maresbury: Yes. Of course. History, history... Ah, yes.
Mane Six: [squee]
[pause]
Twilight Sparkle: Which is where, exactly?
Amethyst Maresbury: I... I can't seem to remember. I'm not sure I actually work here.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll just take a look around. I'm sure we can find it on our own.
Amethyst Maresbury: Let me know if you find anything.
Pinkie Pie: I like her!
Applejack: Uh, anyone else startin' to think this is a lost cause?
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no, no, no... Yes! "History of the Crystal Empire". I just hope it has the answers we need.
Twilight Sparkle: A 'Crystal Faire'. According to this book, it was established by their first queen and became their most important tradition. The Faire was held every year to "renew the spirit of love and unity in the empire so they could protect it from harm". My friends and I could put it together. Everything we need to know is in the book!
Shining Armor: That sounds pretty promising.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll get started right away. C'mon, Spike, we've got a Crystal Faire to put together!
Spike: [grunting]
[Twilight Sparkle]
Princess Cadance needs our help
Her magic will not last forever
I think we can do it
But we need to work together
We have to get this right
Yes, we have to make them see
We can save the Crystal Ponies with their history
[Rainbow Dash]
It says that they liked jousting
[Rarity]
They flew a flag of many hues
[Applejack]
Made sweets of crystal berries
[Fluttershy]
They had a petting zoo with tiny ewes
[All]
Oh, we have to get this right
Yes, we have to make them see
We can save the Crystal Ponies with their history
[Pinkie Pie]
There was a crystal flugelhorn
That every pony liked to play
[Twilight Sparkle]
And the Crystal Kingdom anthem
Can you learn it in a day?
[All]
Oh, we have to get this right
Yes, we have to make them see
We can save the Crystal Ponies with their history
Twilight Sparkle: It looks amazing! I don't know how I could've done this without you! One last check to make sure everything is in place, and then the festivities can begin!
Applejack: What's this thing for?
[thunk]
Twilight Sparkle: The last page of the book mentioned a Crystal Heart as the faire's centerpiece, so I used my magic to cut one out of a crystal block.
Applejack: Nice work, Twi. Think we're ready to get this faire up and runnin'.
Pinkie Pie: [draws deep breath] [blows flugelhorn] Flugelhorn! [takes deep breath]
Twilight Sparkle: Hear ye, hear–
Pinkie Pie: [blows flugelhorn] Flugelhorn! [laughs nervously] My bad.
Twilight Sparkle: Ahem. Hear ye, hear ye! Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor do cordially invite you to attend the Crystal Faire!
Crystal Ponies: [chattering]
Applejack: Come on in, y'all. Got food and drinks thataway, games and crafts are thataway, Crystal Heart to the back near the Princess.
Elbow Grease: Did she say... Crystal Heart?
Crystal Ponies: [chattering]
Rainbow Dash: We totally nailed it, right? Must be feeling a lot of love and unity about now! Gonna have some grub, huh? What are you thinking? Crystal Empire berry pie? Maybe some crystal corn-on-the-cob! [pause] What is with these ponies?!
Autumn Gem: Seeing all of this, I feel like I'm starting to remember. Remember things from before the king.
Fleur De Verre: Me too.
Autumn Gem and Fleur De Verre: [gasps] The Crystal Heart!
Fleur De Verre: Do you think they really have it?
Rainbow Dash: Of course we have it! Can't have a Crystal Faire without the Crystal Heart, right?
Amethyst Maresbury: Of course you can't. The whole purpose of the Crystal Faire is to lift the spirits of the Crystal Ponies, so the light within them can power the Crystal Heart, so that the Empire can be protected! [gasps] I do work at the library!
Rainbow Dash: W-what's that about 'powering the heart'?
Amethyst Maresbury: I just can't believe you found it. King Sombra said he'd hidden it away where we would never see it again! I only hope it will still be as powerful after all these years...! Mm, funnel cake!
Rainbow Dash: [strangled sound]
Twilight Sparkle: Why did you–
Rainbow Dash: I think we may have a problem...
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't know it was an actual relic! The book didn't mention anything about the Crystal Ponies powering the Heart! There was a page missing... How did I not notice?!
Princess Cadance: It's alright, Twilight.
Shining Armor: Twily...
[howl]
King Sombra: [growls]
[To be continued...]
[music]
[credits]

The Crystal Empire - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: You wanted to see me? To give me a test?
Princess Celestia: The Crystal Empire has returned.
Twilight Sparkle: You want me to help protect an entire empire?
Princess Celestia: It must be you and you alone.
[train whistle]
Twilight Sparkle: But what if I fail?
Shining Armor: Let's just say the Empire... isn't the only thing that's returned.
Twilight Sparkle: Go, go!
Pinkie Pie: Sparkleriffic!
Shining Armor: Well, with Cadance putting all her strength into keeping her spell going, and me trying to keep an eye on signs of trouble in the arctic, we haven't been able to gather much information from the Crystal Ponies.
Rarity: There are Crystal Ponies?!
Autumn Gem: I wish I could help you. But I... can't seem to remember anything before King Sombra came to power. [flash]
Twilight Sparkle: "History of the Crystal Empire". The last page of the book mentioned a Crystal Heart as the Faire's centerpiece, so I used my magic to cut one out of a crystal block.
Amethyst Maresbury: The whole purpose of the Crystal Faire is to lift the spirits of the Crystal Ponies, so the light within them can power the Crystal Heart, so that the empire can be protected!
Rainbow Dash: I think we may have a problem...
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't know it was an actual relic!
Princess Cadance: It's alright, Twilight.
Shining Armor: Twily...
[howl]
King Sombra: [growls]
[theme song]
King Sombra: [laughing]
Shining Armor: The Empire is under attack.
[shing]
King Sombra: Arrgh!
[fizzling]
Shining Armor: I have to find the Crystal Heart!
Twilight Sparkle: No, you stay here with Cadance. She needs you, Shining Armor. I'll retrieve the Heart.
Rainbow Dash: Let's do this!
Twilight Sparkle: I've been trying to figure out how I'm meant to pass Celestia's test. Retrieving the Crystal Heart must be it. But there is something else you can do.
Rainbow Dash: Name it.
Twilight Sparkle: You and the rest of our friends have to keep the Faire going.
Rainbow Dash: What? With that thing moving into the Empire?
Twilight Sparkle: The whole purpose of the Crystal Faire is to lift the spirits of the Crystal Ponies, so they can activate the Crystal Heart.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, and?
Twilight Sparkle: If the Crystal Ponies find out that King Sombra is trying to take over the Empire again, their spirits are gonna be anything but lifted. It won't matter if I find the Crystal Heart. They won't be able to make it work. You have to keep them happy here at the Faire.
Rainbow Dash: Keep the Faire going and the Crystal Ponies' spirits high. Done and done!
Shining Armor: Twily, be careful.
Twilight Sparkle: I will.
[growl]
[clink]
Autumn Gem: [eating]
[rustling]
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Okay, here's... [becomes indistinct]
Rarity: Huuuuh? [pause] I... just found out they're offering face painting for the little ones. [laughs nervously] [whispers]
Spike: [under his breath] Uh-huh. We can do that. Twilight's doing what?!
Rarity: He... really... loves getting his face painted. Haha.
Rainbow Dash: Who wants a flugelhorn?
Pinkie Pie: I want a flugelhorn!
Rainbow Dash: Who else wants a flugelhorn?
Pinkie Pie: [screaming] I want a flugelhorn!!
Spike: [pants] Twilight, wait! I'm coming with you!
Twilight Sparkle: You can't. I have to retrieve the Crystal Heart by myself.
Spike: I know. I promise I won't lift a claw to help you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Not a claw, Spike.
Spike: Where are we going exactly?
Twilight Sparkle: I think I might know where King Sombra hid the Crystal Heart.
Spike: The castle?
Twilight Sparkle: The king would've been counting on the fact that nopony would dare come looking for it here. They'd have been too afraid to even try.
Spike: I hope you're right.
Twilight Sparkle: You and me both.
Applejack: [whinnies in surprise]
Rainbow Dash: What are you lookin' at?! That's what I thought!
Applejack: [whispering] Uh, Rainbow Dash? We're supposed to be actin' like nothing's wrong.
Rainbow Dash: Exactly. [growls]
Applejack: [hushed] What I mean is, maybe you should let me keep the Crystal Ponies away from the fake Heart, while you show off your joustin' skills.
Rainbow Dash: Huh. Seeing my awesomeness does have a way of putting ponies into a pretty good mood.
[ewes bleating]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Knight Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: It's showtime.
Applejack: How are y'all feelin'? Havin' a good time?
Autumn Gem: The best I've had in over a thousand years!
Applejack: Well, that's good! Gotta renew that spirit of love and unity if you're gonna power up that Crystal Heart, right?
Autumn Gem: I sure would like to see it before the ceremony. It's been such a long time.
Applejack: Oh, I hear ya, but, uh... phew! Gettin' a little toasty out here. Bet you'd like to cool off with a little Crystal Empire nectar! [panicked noise] Uh, you tried the Crystal Empire fritters yet? Made from a traditional Crystal Empire recipe! You're gonna love 'em! [loudly] Uh, I hear there's a joustin' match about to start! You don't wanna miss that! [hushed] Come on, Twilight... These Crystal Ponies are more curious than a cat!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting, noises of exertion, sighs]
Spike: [pants]
Twilight Sparkle: It's gotta be here somewhere. It's just gotta be! Not a claw, Spike.
Spike: Uh... [laughs nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Celestia's orders!
Princess Celestia: [echoing] If the Empire is filled with hope and love, those things are reflected across all of Equestria. If hatred and fear take hold... [echoes out]
Twilight Sparkle: Of course!
Spike: [panting for breath] Argh! What? Did you find it?
Twilight Sparkle: No. Because this isn't King Sombra's castle.
Spike: Well, isn't this where he lived when he was in power?
Twilight Sparkle: It is. But it didn't look like this. [grunting]
Spike: Whoa. When did you learn to do that?
Twilight Sparkle: That was a little trick Celestia taught me.
Spike: [gulps] [nervous noise]
Twilight Sparkle: You stay here.
Spike: Huh, if you insist. [echoing] Can you see what's down there yet?
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] Not yet. I can't even tell how far down this goes!
[squeaking noise]
[distant clatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?
Spike: [echoing] Yeah?
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] Can you see outside?
[thunder rumbling]
King Sombra: [growls] Yesss... Crystalsss...
Spike: It's not good! Cadance's magic must be fading [echoing] faster than before!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! Ow! [sounds of pain]
Spike: [echoing] Twilight? Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes...
[crunching]
Twilight Sparkle: What in the... [thud] Stop... moving! [sounds of exertion]
[door creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I think it's here! Huh?
Princess Celestia: What are you doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I opened the door and–
Princess Celestia: And now you must go.
Twilight Sparkle: Go where?
Princess Celestia: Doesn't matter to me. You failed the test, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand! The test?
Princess Celestia: Not only will you not move on to the next level of your studies, you won't continue your studies at all!
Twilight Sparkle: I... You didn't say anything about no longer being your student if I failed!
Princess Celestia: Didn't I?
Twilight Sparkle: But... what do I do now?
King Sombra: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [crying]
Spike: [incredibly distant and muffled] Twilight! [closer] Twilight? Twilight! Twiliiiight! [quickly] I know you told me to stay up there, but you were down here for such a long time and you weren't answering and I got worried so I came down here and you were just staring at that wall and... I was calling your name, but I couldn't seem to get your attention, and– What were you looking at? I mean... it's just a wall. ...Ponyville?! Well, how did I get... No! I don't wanna go! Please, Twilight, don't make me!
[door slams]
Twilight Sparkle: King Sombra's dark magic. A doorway that leads to your worst fear.
Spike: We were home. You told me you didn't need me anymore. You were sending me away...
Twilight Sparkle: A fear that will never come to pass. I'm never gonna send you away. And I'm not gonna fail my test!
[door opens]
Spike: What's in there?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. [sighs] Maybe you should come with me this time.
[thunder rumbling]
King Sombra: [laughs]
Crystal Ponies: [cheering]
Fluttershy: [scared, nervous noises]
[thunder rumbling]
Pinkie Pie: [flugelhorn fanfare]
Fluttershy: [shrieks] [screams]
Crystal Ponies: cheering]
Crystal Pony: [off-screen] Bravo, Knight Rainbow Dash!
Fluttershy: [nervous exhale] [catching breath] Isn't there... somepony else who could... take over the jousting demonstration with you?
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] The fate of an entire empire rests on us showing these ponies a good time. But, y'know, if that isn't important to you...
Fluttershy: [cries]
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] Okay, okay, I'll take it easy on you next time. But not too easy. I've got a reputation to maintain!
[stone cracking]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Spike: [panting] What if this is just more of his magic? He makes a door that leads to your worst nightmare. Why not a staircase that goes on forever?
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on to me.
Spike: Uh...
Twilight Sparkle: [sounds of exertion] Whoa. Whoaaa! Yaaaah!
Elbow Grease: [shrieks]
Fleur De Verre: [distressed cries]
Crystal Ponies: [scared indistinct chatter]
Rarity: [laughs nervously] Excuse me, pardon me... [hushed] I am running out of weaving materials for the traditional crafts booth! I just made a hat out of three pieces of hay and a drinking straw! I made it work. But still!
Applejack: We gotta do everything we can to keep this thing goin'. The Princess isn't lookin' so good. I can't imagine her magic is gonna last much longer. It's gonna be fine. These ponies are gonna power up that Crystal Heart when the time comes, and we won't be needin' her magic anyway.
Pinkie Pie: I sure hope that time comes soon! Even I can't keep this party going forever! [shrieks]
[bonk]
Crystal Beau: This isn't the Crystal Heart.
Rarity: [laughs nervously] Oh, of course it isn't. The real one is–
Applejack: On its way!
Rarity: [hushed] I was going to say 'being polished' to buy us some more time?
Applejack: Oops.
King Sombra: [laughs]
Crystal Ponies: [distressed cries]
Sapphire Joy: It's... It's him!
King Sombra: Crystal Heart...
Twilight Sparkle: Whoooooahahaha! I actually studied gravity spells, thinking it might be on my test! Turns out I was prepared for this! Wooo-hooo! [laughs]
[thud]
[wind blowing]
King Sombra: [growls] [laughs]
[lightning strikes]
Twilight Sparkle: The Heart... Where's the Crystal–
Spike: Here! It rolled over to me when you dropped it!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't move!
Spike: [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: You can move, just not toward me! How could I have been so foolish? I was just so eager to get it! Then when I saw what was going on outside, I...
Spike: You have to get out of there, Twilight! You have to be the one who brings the Heart to Princess Cadance! If you don't, you'll fail Celestia's test!
Twilight Sparkle: King Sombra is already attacking the Empire. He could reach the Crystal Ponies at any moment... reach Princess Cadance, my brother, my friends. There may not be enough time for me to find a way to escape.
[stone cracking]
Twilight Sparkle: You have to be the one to bring the Crystal Heart to the Faire.
Spike: Me? But Twilight–
Twilight Sparkle: Go!
Spike: But–
Twilight Sparkle: Goooo!
[crystals cracking]
Crystal Ponies: [indistinct worried chatter]
Applejack: Now, don't y'all worry your pretty, little Crystal heads! The real Crystal Heart will be here any second!
Rarity: [hushed] I don't know if they believe you...
Applejack: [hushed] Don't know if I believe me...
[electricity crackling]
Sapphire Joy: He's back! I can't take it! [shrieks] Ugh!
King Sombra: Ahhhhhh...
Sapphire Joy: [shrieks] King Sombra...!
King Sombra: My crystal slaves...
Spike: Whoa! Huh! [spits fire] Yah! [nervous noise] Hey! Up here!
Rarity: Spike?
Spike: I got the Crystal Heart!
King Sombra: [growls] That is mine!
[crystals cracking]
King Sombra: [growls]
Rarity: [gasps] Spikey-wikey!
Princess Cadance: [wings unfurl]
King Sombra: Hah. Huh?
Crystal Ponies: [indistinct awe chatter]
Bright Smile: Behold! The Crystal Princess!
[crunch]
Princess Cadance: The Crystal Heart has returned. Use the light and love within you to ensure that King Sombra does not.
[whirring noise]
King Sombra: What? No... No! Stop!
[whirring noise]
[whoosh]
Rarity: Oooh! [giggles]
[crystals cracking]
King Sombra: [screams]
[boom]
[crowd cheering]
Spike: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Good job, Spike.
Rarity: I do so wish it was permanent. Did you see how my mane just absolutely sparkled?
Applejack: But... good things are better when they're a rarity.
Rarity: Aww. [laughs]
Shining Armor: Everything's gonna be okay. You've gotta stop saving my rump like this. It's starting to get embarrassing.
Twilight Sparkle: Wasn't me who saved you in the end. It was Spike.
Shining Armor: It's just a test. Maybe she'll let you retake it.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think she's gonna give me a new test.
Spike: [breathing heavily] [to himself] Keep it together, buddy... Gotta stay strong... for Twilight...
Princess Celestia: It's beautiful.
Twilight Sparkle: I wish it had been me who ultimately made it so. But it wasn't.
Princess Celestia: Twilight, as I understand it, Spike brought Princess Cadance the Crystal Heart because you weren't sure how quickly you could find a way to escape the tower. You weren't willing to risk the future of the citizens of the Crystal Empire in an effort to guarantee your own. Far better that I have a student who understands the meaning of self-sacrifice than one who only looks out for her own best interests.
Twilight Sparkle: Does this mean...?
Spike: She's totally gonna lose it! [breathes heavily] Keep it together, buddy... Gotta stay strong... for Twilight...!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: I passed!
Other main characters: [cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh.
[Rarity]
You were prepared to do your best
Had what it takes to pass the test
All those doubts you can dismiss
Turns out you were
[All sans Twilight Sparkle]
Prepared for this!
[Applejack]
You clearly have just what it takes
[Pinkie Pie]
To pass a test with such high stakes
[Fluttershy]
We knew for sure you would prevail
[Rainbow Dash]
Since when does Twilight Sparkle ever fail?
[All sans Twilight Sparkle]
All those doubts that you can dismiss
Trust yourself and you cannot miss
[Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie]
Turns out you were
[Twilight Sparkle]
Turns out I was
[Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Spike]
Turns out you were
[Twilight Sparkle]
Turns out I was
[Rarity]
Turns out you were
[All sans Twilight Sparkle]
Prepared for this!
Spike: [laughs nervously] Yeah, I knew everything was going to be fine. [sighs]
[music]
[credits]

Too Many Pinkie Pies

[stretching sounds]
Spike: Try again, Twi, you can do it!
Twilight Sparkle: Phew, this spell's a toughie. But I feel lucky this time! One, two...
Pinkie Pie: Hi!
Twilight Sparkle: Nnnnnng! Pinkie, why'd you do that?!
Pinkie Pie: 'Cause hugs are funneriffic, especially when you throw one around a friend. Whatcha doin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Trying to turn that apple into an orange!
Spike: But you kinda threw her aim off...
Pinkie Pie: Wheee! [giggles] What a cute orange birdie! Do me next, Twilight! Do me, do me!
[doing]
Pinkie Pie: Ooooh, Rarity, wanna see Twilight turn me into an orange? It's gonna be funna-fun-fuuun!
Rarity: As fun as creating this haute couture ensemble that I just finished making? Delightful, non?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] This is terrible!
Rarity: I admit it's perhaps not my finest work, but I–
[honk]
Pinkie Pie: You had total-awesome-amazing fun and I missed out on it?! Neh! Wait! What if there's more awesome amazing fun with friends happening somewhere in Ponyville right now that I'm missing out on too?!
Spike: We weren't going to turn her into an orange! I swear!
[whipping noises]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow Dash, whatcha doing?
Rainbow Dash: This punk cloud got so heavy it's making fog. Figure I'll thin this bad boy out so it floats back up.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, fun! Wheeeeee! Gotta go!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, thanks, Pinkie...?
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack! That looks like fun, can I join you? Wheee! Next time I'll pull you!
Fluttershy: [sipping tea]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy! [panting] There... you... are...! Doing... [deep breath] anything... [deep breath] fun?
Fluttershy: Not especially.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, good. Fun... is hard...! [sighs]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Feeling better, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Abso-tutely-lutely! Thanks for letting me rest in your butterfly grove while I get my Pinkie strength back!
Fluttershy: What are friends for?
Pinkie Pie: That's just the thing! I've got so many wonderful friends having fun in every last corner of Ponyville, I can't figure out how to keep up with it all! It's driving me even more coco-loco than usual!
Fluttershy: I can promise to not do anything fun at all if that would help.
Pinkie Pie: You are such a good friend.
Applejack: There you are, Pinkie. Been lookin' everywhere for ya, girl.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Pinkie. Got something fun planned this afternoon thought you might wanna know about.
Applejack: Heh. Well, I'll be an apple crisp. I'm here for the same reason.
Pinkie Pie: This is perfect! Everyone will now bring their fun to me. Ha, this'll solve everything! Why didn't I think of that?
Rainbow Dash: Actually, what I meant is after I'm done whipping up today's weather, I'll be chilling by the lake catching some rays. Wanna hang?
Pinkie Pie: I am so there. Wheee.
Applejack: And my family's havin' a barn-raisin' this afternoon at Sweet Apple Acres.
Pinkie Pie: And I'm also so there. Whee, whee.
Rainbow Dash: But... that's when I'll be at the swimming hole. Ah, well, doesn't matter. Whichever one you choose is okay with me.
Applejack: Me too.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Choose?
Twilight Sparkle: One, two...
[ribbit]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! What in the wide, wide world of Equestria are you doing now?
Pinkie Pie: Timing myself galloping back and forth between the swimming hole and Sweet Apple Acres. I'm trying to cut down my time so if Rainbow Dash dives off the swing, I can get to Sweet Apple Acres to help with the barn raising, and then be back in time to see Rainbow Dash hit the water after doing a double flip! [sigh] If I can cut my time by only twenty minutes, I'm good.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] Oh, Pinkie. I'm afraid no matter how hard you try, the only way to pull something like that off is if there's more of you to go around.
[clock ticking]
[alarm clock going off]
Pinkie Pie: That's it, Twilight! The legend of the Mirror Pool!
Twilight Sparkle: Legend of the who-what now? Pinkie! I'm familiar with loads of legends, and I never heard of–
Spike: Does this mean practice is over?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course not! Back to work.
Pinkie Pie: Seems like hardly anypony's been here in ages. I hope I'm remembering the rhymes right from my Nana Pinkie's story. "Where the brambles are thickest, there you will find a pond beyond the most twisted of vines!" [echoes] What was that?! Oh, I heard a voice! Oh. Hehe. It was me. Ouch! Ooh! Stop scratching me up, you brambles, and– Whoooaaa!
[thuds, whacks, and honks,]
Pinkie Pie: [gasp] The Mirror Pool! [echoes] Oh, and there's that voice again! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Ah Pinkie, you have got to stop talking to yourself. Starting... now. "And into her own reflection she stared, uh, yearning for one whose reflection she shared, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!"
Pinkie Pie 2: Wheee-heee!
Pinkie Pie: Wow, the legend is true. It really worked!
Pinkie Pie 2: [under] Fun, fun! [continues]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, wait. I promised not talk to myself anymore. I should say something to her. Or... would that still be talking to myself? Excuse me, me? Can I have a word with you? Uh, I mean, me? Listen, I can see you're having lots of fun, but–
Pinkie Pie 2: Fun?! Did somebody say fun? Where?
Pinkie Pie: I did, over here!
Pinkie Pie 2: I thought someone said something about fun! Where is it? Over here? Over here? I don't see it! Where is it? Where is it?
Pinkie Pie: Whoa, calm yourself, Pinkie, there's loads of fun to be had in Ponyville with my girls! Trot on over back to Ponyville with me and I'll tell you all about 'em.
Pinkie Pie: ...And then there's Rarity. She's the one with all the fancy clothes and ribbons and stuff! I'm thinking she can make us all matching t-shirts that say 'Team Pinkie', and–
Pinkie Pie 2: Is this Ponyville? Where's the fun? Where's the fun?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, well, let's see, Applejack's having a barn raising at–
[whoosh]
Pinkie Pie: It's that-away!
[whoosh]
Pinkie Pie: Wait, come back! Don't forget to meet me back here to tell me everything about everything, like I was there myself! Because I'm you and, and you're me, and– Oh, my gosh! This is the greatest plan ever! [squee] Now, off to double my fun!
Rainbow Dash: [yawns]
Pinkie Pie: Let's rock this pool, ponies! [blows up inflatable] Whee!
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: Coming in, Dashie? The water's great, it's totally wet and everything!
Rainbow Dash: I don't know... Cloud busting was tougher work than usual today. [yawns] I'm kind of exhausted.
Pinkie Pie: That's fine, you relax. At least we'll still be together!
Rainbow Dash: Glad you made it, Pinkie. I thought you maybe went to Applejack's, instead.
Pinkie Pie: I did.
Rainbow Dash: Oh. The barn up yet?
Pinkie Pie: I have no idea.
Rainbow Dash: But I thought you said you were just at Applejack's.
Pinkie Pie: Actually, I'm probably still on my way there now! Whee!
[splash]
Fluttershy: Oh, Pinkie Pie, I'm so glad you wandered by. I know I promised not to have any fun today, but, oh, I couldn't help myself. All of my critter friends wanted a picnic, and I couldn't disappoint them. Come join us. We have plenty of hay juice and marmalade to go around, don't we, critters?
[critters chatter in agreement]
[mouse squeaks]
Pinkie Pie 2: [chomps] Wait, but that sounds super fun! Oh, but Applejohn sounds super fun too! Uh, and, and I can't do one without missing out on the other!
Fluttershy: Who's Applejohn?
Pinkie Pie 2: Two fun things at once? But which, which? Oh, can't decide... [breathes heavily] Trouble breathing... Walls closing in!
Fluttershy: Walls? But we're outside.
Pinkie Pie 2: [shrieks]
Fluttershy: Goodness. Was it something I said?
[bear grunts]
Pinkie Pie 2: Yes!
Fluttershy: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: So you see, that's how I'm able to have fun in two places at once.
Rainbow Dash: Duplicates of you, huh? Heh, yeah, sure, Pinkie. [yawns] Look, I was just gearing up to catch some Z's, so, uh...
Pinkie Pie: Gotcha. I'll have the rest of my fun really quietly. [quietly] Wheeeee...
Rainbow Dash: How'd you do that?
Pinkie Pie: Just trying to show a little consideration for my sleepy friend. Ooh, ooh, gotta run. Looks like I'm trying to get my attention. Excuse me.
Pinkie Pie 2: And me.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, tell me all about it! Did they pull the walls of the barn up slow or fast?
Pinkie Pie 2: I–
Pinkie Pie: Maybe slow to medium fast, somewhere in that range?
Pinkie Pie 2: I–
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, did you get ice cream? What kinds did they have? Banana brickle?
Pinkie Pie 2: I didn't make it! I was on my way there and then Fluttershutter–
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie 2: Yeah, her. She offered something else fun for me to do! A picnic, with cute little animals!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, how could you say no to that?
Pinkie Pie 2: That's what I'm saying! Then I would've missed the super fun thing with Applesauce!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack.
Pinkie Pie 2: [bawling] So I didn't do anything fun at all!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, my poor poor me! There, there. Tell me what, we just need a couple more Pinkie Pies. Easy peasy.
Pinkie Pie 2: Really?
Pinkie Pie: Come on, would I lie to me?
Pinkie Pie and Pinkie Pie 2: "...and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!"
Pinkie Pie 2: Look, a double me!
Pinkie Pie: I think you mean a double-double me. Plus another double-double me, which makes two double-double mes, or a double-double-double me, if you will.
Pinkie Pie 2: [happy squeal]
Pinkie Pie 3: Did somebody say fun? Where? Fun fun fun fun fun!
Pinkie Pies 2, 3 and 4: Fun! [repeated many many times, amongst laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Now Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are covered, plus one extra Pinkie Pie in case we get an extra invite from somepony else. Perfect! Okay, let's go! [under] Hey, Pinkies! Yoo-hoo!
Pinkie Pies 2, 3 and 4: "...and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mared!"
Pinkie Pie: Okay, good enough. Pinkie Pies, move it out–
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: "...not to be scared, at the prospect of being doubly mared!"
Pinkie Pie: What in the name of pink?! Knock it off!
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: Fun! [repeated]
Pinkie Pie: To Ponyville, everyone! Follow me!
[pause]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Yes, it's fun there.
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: Fun! [repeated]
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: [more "Fun!" and the occasional "Whee!"]
Pinkie Pie: [whistles] Okay, between the bunch of us, we should have every nook and cranny of fun in Ponyville covered at all times. An unprecedented and massive undertaking! But first, a pop quiz on the names I taught you!
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: [in chorus] Applejack! Fluttershy! Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Excellent. Okay, let's get on with this, folks. Fan out on three. One–
[whoosh]
Pinkie Pie: Eh, good enough. La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, whee!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: [sneezes] What the–
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: [all shouting "Fun!", etc.]
Rainbow Dash: Wow! Pinkie Pie wasn't kidding about the duplicates! Except now there's triplicates... and quadruplicates!
Pinkie Pie: Dash is gonna love this! Aw, if I push her around on this floaty thing, it'll be fun and relaxing!
[duplicates shouting in distance]
Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh...
Rainbow Dash: No more Pinkies! I can't take it!
[drum banging]
Pinkie Pie: Gosh, uh... I wonder what fun they're having raising the barn at Applejack's right now! Maybe I'd better go check!
Applejack, Big McIntosh, Apple Fritter, and Meadow Song: [sounds of exertion]
[Pinkie duplicates shouting "Fun!"]
Applejack: No!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, phew! Looks like I haven't missed a thing!
Applejack: I wanna know right now where all you Pinkies came from, so I can find out who's responsible for y'all ruinin' our barn raisin'!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, you look pretty busy right now, so [laughs nervously] maybe we should talk a little later?
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
Applejack: Y'all come back here and clean up after yourselves this instant!
[duplicates shouting]
Pinkie Pie: Oh no, what have I done, what have I done?! My poor friends...
[ponies shouting angrily]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, everypony, please, calm down!
Rarity: Calm down? I just had a Pinkie hurricane raging through my shop!
Fluttershy: And they trashed our critter picnic!
[ponies shouting angrily]
Twilight Sparkle: Please, everypony, hang on while I try to figure something out! Come on, Spike. I've gotta try to remember the name of that legend she mentioned.
[wood creaking]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Aha, here it is! "The legend of the Mirror Pond"... It describes a spell I can use to send them back where they came from!
Spike: That's perfect! Let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: But there's a catch. If I can't figure out which one's the real Pinkie, I might send her back by mistake!
Spike: Well, we'll just have to figure out who the real one is then. Shouldn't be too hard.
Twilight Sparkle: Does anypony here know how we can tell the real Pinkie Pie from all the rest of them?
Ponies: ["Uh...", "I don't know", etc.]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! I have to talk to you, I need your help!
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, whoever you are, but I'm not talking to any of you Pinkies unless you're the real Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, but, but I am the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: No, you're not! I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 2: I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 3: No, I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 4: I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 5: No, I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 6: I'm the real Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
Applejack: How in tarnation are we supposed to tell which is the real Pinkie?
Twilight Sparkle: I have no idea.
Pinkie Pie: Me either. Ohh... We've all got the same adorable tails, we've all got the same adorable manes, we've all got the same adorable hooves! Which one of us is the real Pinkie?! Oh! I haven't the slightest clue! And if I can't tell us apart... who can? [crying]
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
[duplicates shouting]
[windows slamming]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, this is hopeless!
Spike: Maybe that one's the real Pinkie.
Twilight Sparkle: Please. The real Pinkie Pie never sat that long in one place her whole life!
Spike: I'm gonna go ask.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course she's gonna say she's the real Pinkie! They all do! You're wasting your time.
Spike: So lemme guess. You're the real Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Heck if I know. Could be any one of us if you ask me. And if I said I was the real Pinkie, you wouldn't even believe me anyway. So just leave me alone. I've got some important poking the ground with my hoof to do.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, how're we gonna do this? I can't risk sending the real Pinkie back into the pond!
Spike: I miss the real Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] I bet she misses you too. Bet she'd do just about anything to get to be with her friends again. Hey. Hey! What if you gave them a test? Pick something really hard for a Pinkie to do, something not fun at all! Any Pinkie that can't do it goes back into the pond. But whoever wants to stay the most, that must be the real Pinkie!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, that's not a bad idea.
Pinkie Pie: This is great! If I pass, I get to be with my friends again! [gasps] But what if I don't pass? Oh, what if I'm not the real Pinkie Pie?! Ohhhh! Stupid [thud] magic [thud] mirror [thud] water! This is all your fault! ...And mine. [thud]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: I've been looking all over for you ponies. What are you all doing here?
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy spoke with the woodland critters, and they've agreed to take us into their home 'til the Pinkie storm dies down.
Twilight Sparkle: You guys, we're gonna fix this. And I know exactly how.
Fluttershy: Are we gonna lose our real Pinkie Pie?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think so. Now come along. I've already got Applejack and her family rounding up all the Pinkies.
[rumbling]
[duplicates shouting]
Applejack: Hyah, ya Pinkies! Hyah!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Ooh, they wanna play chase! This is fun, too!
[duplicates shouting, continues under]
Applejack: Oh, give it a rest.
Twilight Sparkle: Welcome, Pinkies, welcome. Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable. [pause] Okay, I suppose you can't be comfortable staying in one place, but have a seat anyway. [pause] Sit down!
[duplicates stop shouting]
Twilight Sparkle: Better. Now, I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you all here today.
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: For fun?
Twilight Sparkle: No, just the opposite actually.
Rainbow Dash: Wait up, I got one more! Found this one poking at the ground with her hoof, drawing frowny faces.
Twilight Sparkle: Have her come sit with the others.
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkies, you've been brought here to take a test.
Pinkie Pie Duplicates: [in chorus] Awww!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, it's a simple test, about as simple as they come, and whoever passes gets to stay.
[duplicates making huh noises, yeah]
Twilight Sparkle: Curtain, please. The test... will be watching paint dry!
[duplicates gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: On your mark, get set, go!
Spike: Ooh, this is so exciting!
Spike: Okay, maybe not that exciting.
[bird chirping]
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Oh, hey, look at the birdie!
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[poof]
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Watch me bounce and touch the ceiling!
[poof]
[frog croaking]
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Is that... is that a frog crossed with an orange?
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 2: Cool!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate 3: Where?
[poof]
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Look what I can do with my hooves! [blows]
[popping noises]
[poof]
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: Betcha can't make a face crazier than... this!
[poof]
Twilight Sparkle: [sounds of exertion] [blows]
[long pause]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, I can't take it anymore! Somepony's making balloon animals!
Pinkie Pie Duplicate: What? Where?
[poof]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you can look away now.
Pinkie Pie: I passed?
Twilight Sparkle: You passed. You're the only Pinkie who kept staring at the wall.
Pinkie Pie: I had to. I just had to. I couldn't leave my friends, I just couldn't. But I guess sometimes I will have to choose between them.
Twilight Sparkle: I knew you'd be up to the challenge.
Pinkie Pie: I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! Or am I? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am.
Pinkie Pie: Dear Princess Celestia,
It's great to have fun, but it's even greater to have great friends. And having lots of friends means that you sometimes have to make choices as to who you'll spend your time with. But that's okay, because good friends will always give you lots of opportunities to have fun. So even if you're missing out, it's never for long.
Respectfully yours,
Pinkie Pie.
Spike: [blows fire]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Pinkie Pie. We were thinking we should go out and celebrate.
Applejack: You up for some wheelbarrow races?
Rainbow Dash: Or I could take everypony on a cloud ride!
Rarity: I could throw a party with punch and zesty cucumber sandwiches! Ooh!
Pinkie Pie: You wanna know exactly what I feel like doing right now? [sighs] [snores]
Fluttershy: That looks like fun.
[all laughing]
Applejack: Oh, Pinkie.
[door closes]
[music]
[credits]

One Bad Apple

Apple Bloom: [whining] What to wear, what to wear? Oh, what to wear?!
Applejack: Scoot your boot, Apple Bloom. It's not like it's the Harvest Day Parade! We're just goin' to the train station!
Apple Bloom: Too casual. Too summery.
Applejack: [sigh] Your cousin isn't gonna care what you're wearin'. Just pick somethin'!
Apple Bloom: This is my first time meetin' her, and she's from Manehattan. I wanna make a good impression!
Applejack: You know what would make a good impression?
Apple Bloom: What?
Applejack: Bein' on time to pick her up!
Apple Bloom: [whining]
Applejack: You got nothin' to worry about, sugarcube. Y'all are gonna get along great. You already have somethin' in common.
Apple Bloom: [muffled, through snorkel] Oh, yeah? What's that?
Applejack: Neither of you have your cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: What?! How could you forget to tell me somethin' like that?
Applejack: Well, I–
Apple Bloom: Oh, this changes everything! Meet you at the train station! I'm gonna go tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!
Applejack: You know, your cousin is supposed to sleep in here!
[theme song]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: Do you really think she'll wanna join?
Apple Bloom: She doesn't have her cutie mark. Of course she'll wanna join the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Sweetie Belle: I'm just so excited I could burst!
[train whistle blows]
Apple Bloom: Is that the train from Manehattan?
Applejack: Yep.
Apple Bloom: That's her! Oh, wait, no, no, that's not her. Oh! No, tha-tha-that's her! Um, no. Oh, wait, tha– that's not her either, uh...
Applejack: Apple Bloom, you've never met Babs Seed, remember?
Apple Bloom: Oh... [laughs nervously] Yeah.
[train lets off steam]
Applejack: Ah, that's her!
Apple Bloom: Babs! Babs! It's me, your cousin, Apple Bloom! And this is Sweetie Belle, and this is Scootaloo, and we are so, so, so glad you're here!
Babs Seed: Thanks, I'm happy to–
Sweetie Belle: This is gonna be the best week of your life!
Babs Seed: Sure hope it's gonna be–
Scootaloo: Seriously, we are gonna have a blast.
Applejack: [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: The Summer Harvest Parade's going on while you're here! You'll get to ride in a float!
Babs Seed: Really? I've never been on a float before.
Apple Bloom: And we've got a really big surprise for you!
Babs Seed: Yeah... uh... a surprise?
Apple Bloom: I give you... the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse!
Babs Seed: The Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Scootaloo: A club devoted to helping ponies get their cutie marks! We're its founding members.
Sweetie Belle: Technically, we're its only members.
Apple Bloom: But we're always looking to expand, and you seem like the perfect candidate!
Babs Seed: I do?
Scootaloo: Well, yeah, since you don't have a cutie mark and all.
Babs Seed: Oh, yeah... [blows] That...
Apple Bloom: Allow me to show you just some of the highlights of our clubhouse, should you choose to join us.
[poik]
[squeak]
Apple Bloom: This is where we do our role call...
Sweetie Belle: [squeaks]
Apple Bloom: This is where we eat our lunch...
Sweetie Belle: [munching]
Apple Bloom: Sometimes we stand here and think of great ideas.
[ding]
Babs Seed: Yeah, uh...
[pause]
Apple Bloom: Uh, could you excuse us for a moment?
Babs Seed: Sure...
Apple Bloom: [hushed] Thought she'd be more impressed.
Sweetie Belle: [hushed] She's from Manehattan. If we wanna impress her, we need to really wow her!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Hmmmm.
Scootaloo: [gasps] [hushed] The float! She can ride with us on our Summer Harvest Parade float!
Apple Bloom: [hushed] That's perfect! This really is a good spot for thinking up great ideas.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm.
Apple Bloom: Here it is! The official Cutie Mark Crusaders float for the Summer Harvest Parade!
Scootaloo: As a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you'd be able to ride on it with us! It'd be totally fun.
Babs Seed: [laughs nervously]
Diamond Tiara: More like funny...
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: ...looking! [laughing]
Silver Spoon: What is that thing, a giant orange?
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: It's a pumpkin.
Diamond Tiara: More like a lame-kin.
Silver Spoon: [laughs]
Diamond Tiara: Who's the new blank flank?
Apple Bloom: She's mah cousin, Babs. She's from Manehattan!
Diamond Tiara: Manehattan, huh? Well, I guess you have that going for you.
Silver Spoon: Suppose you're gonna join their little club? What's it called? The [mockingly] Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Babs Seed: [blows] More like the Cutie Mahk Crybabies! [derisive chuckle]
Apple Bloom: Hey!!
Diamond Tiara: Oooo, heh, big city attitude! I like it!
Silver Spoon: Mm-hmm!
Babs Seed: Oh, yeah? Well there's more where that came from! Check this out! [grunts]
Scootaloo: Oh no, she didn't!
Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed: [laughs]
[creaking, rolling, crashing]
Babs Seed: Looks like somepony's pumpkin just got squashed!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughs]
Apple Bloom: When ah tell Applejack–
Babs Seed: You gonna tell Applejack what?
Apple Bloom: W-well, y'know, uh...
Babs Seed: What're you, a snitch?
Diamond Tiara: Come on, Babs, you should hang with us! Y'know, the cool ponies, not these babies!
Apple Bloom: What... just happened?
Scootaloo: I think Babs just went to the dark side.
Sweetie Belle: We have to tell Applejack!
Apple Bloom: No! We're not snitches!
Scootaloo: Yeah! And we're not babies!
Sweetie Belle: Then... why do I feel like crying?
Scootaloo: I still can't believe she ruined our pumpkin float.
Apple Bloom: I still can't believe I'm related to such a big stinkin' bully!
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] What are we gonna do?
Apple Bloom: We're gonna build a new float, that's what.
Scootaloo: Why bother? She'll probably just ruin that one, too.
Apple Bloom: [sighs]
Sweetie Belle: We could always tell Applejack.
Babs Seed: [echoing] What are you, a snitch?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: [groans]
Apple Bloom: We're not gonna be a bunch of tattle-tales! Besides, she's only here a couple of weeks. We'll just avoid her like the plague until she goes home.
Scootaloo: Avoid her. Yeah, how hard can that be?
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Yeah, yeah, yeah 
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Apple Bloom]
First, we thought that Babs was so really, really sweet
A new friend to have, and it seemed like such a treat
[Scootaloo]
But then, we found the truth; she's just a bully from the east
She went from Babs, yeah, to a bully and a beast
[Apple Bloom]
Everywhere we turn, she's just a step ahead
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?
Got a bully on our tail
Gotta hide, we gotta bail
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she's after you
Gotta run, we gotta flee
Gotta hurry, don't you see?
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad seed
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Apple Bloom]
Hiding from a bully, we know it isn't right
But the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we aren't lookin' for a fight
[Scootaloo]
Oh, she'll go home soon, and then we'll have some peace again
But for now, we're staying out of her way 'til then
[Apple Bloom]
Everywhere we turn, she's just a step ahead
[Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo]
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, what we gonna do?
Got a bully on our tail
Gotta hide, we gotta bail
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, if she's after you
Gotta run, we gotta flee
Gotta hurry, don't you see?
Why so mean? Why so crude?
Why so angry? Why so rude?
Can't you be nice? Can't we be friends?
Isn't it sad? Is this how it all ends?
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad-
Babs Seed, Babs Seed, she's just a bad, bad-
Babs Seed, Babs Seed-
[Scootaloo]
She's just a bad, bad seed!
Apple Bloom: Babs may have run us out of town, but at least we still have the club–
Babs Seed: Hey! What're you doing at my clubhouse?
Scootaloo: Y- y- your clubhouse?! This is our clubhouse!
Babs Seed: Well, it was yours, and now it's mine.
Silver Spoon: And mine.
Diamond Tiara: And mine.
Apple Bloom: That's not fair, Babs! We never did anything to you!
Babs Seed: And let's keep it that way. Now scram, crybabies!
Babs Seed, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Bump, bump, sugar-lump, rump!
Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Babs Seed: [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: [takes deep breaths] [wails]
Sweetie Belle: [crying]
Apple Bloom: That Babs has really gone too far this time!
Scootaloo: Kicked out of our own clubhouse!
Apple Bloom: And my own bed!
Scootaloo: Seriously?
Apple Bloom: Super-seriously.
Sweetie Belle: We need to talk to Applejack.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: Rarity?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: No!
Sweetie Belle: Twilight?
Apple Bloom: No, no, no! We need to fight back!
Scootaloo: Yeah! Fight back! How're we gonna do that?
[Pinkie's polka begins playing in background]
Apple Bloom: [gasp] By makin' her the guest of honor at the Summer Harvest Parade!
Scootaloo: [gasps] Yeah! Wait, what?
Apple Bloom: [laughs under her breath] When you look up 'embarrassed' in the dictionary... [deep breath] Her face will be there!
Babs Seed: [snoring]
Sweetie Belle: Moo! Moo!
[cow chewing]
Sweetie Belle: Moo! Moo!
[squeaking]
Babs Seed: Aheh... [resumes snoring]
Apple Bloom: Are those from the Carousel Boutique?
Sweetie Belle: Yup.
Apple Bloom: Excellent.
Scootaloo: [blows]
Sweetie Belle: Ooh!
Scootaloo: Luster dust from Sugarcube Corner. They use it for decorating cakes.
Sweetie Belle: That must be what Rarity uses on her emergency edible boots!
Scootaloo: The gears and bands for the moving mechanism, my tools and stuff... Did you bring the thing from the place?
Sweetie Belle: What's that?
Apple Bloom: Granny Smith's kitchen timer.
Sweetie Belle: What's that for?
Scootaloo: [sing-song voice] You'll see! [giggles]
Apple Bloom: C'mon, y'all, let's get to it. We only got a few hours before mornin', and this thing has to look so good, Babs won't be able to resist wanting to ride in it!
[A-Team-like music]
[scissors cutting]
[hammering]
Sweetie Belle: [yawns] Is this it?
Scootaloo: [tired] I think... we're a go.
Sweetie Belle: [tired] Good, 'cause we'd better get out of here before Babs finds us.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [tired] Cutie Mark Crusaders, ho!
[Pinkie's polka plays in background]
"Roma": Hot carrot crêpes! Get 'em here, get 'em hot!
[thud]
Spike: [licks lips]
[wrench noises]
Babs Seed: [blows] Whoaaaa...
Sweetie Belle: Isn't it smashing? No! I-I didn't mean smashing! I mean... Isn't it a hit? No! No, I- No! No hitting! I meant–
Scootaloo: Well, don't even think about riding it, Babs.
Sweetie Belle: Ow!
[motor running]
Scootaloo: You had your chance.
[boing]
Babs Seed: See ya later, Cutie Mark Crybabies!
[door slams]
Apple Bloom: [hushed] The timer set?
Sweetie Belle: Teach her to fool with the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Applejack: Y'all are letting Babs ride in your golden apple float?
Apple Bloom: Yeah. We thought she deserved to be the... center of attention.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Applejack: Well, that's just super sweet of y'all, makin' Babs feel so special. Y'know, after all the heartache she's been havin' in Manehattan.
[pop]
Apple Bloom: Heartache?
Applejack: Well, I didn't say nothin' 'cause I didn't want her to feel singled out, but there's been some bullies back in Manehattan just been teasin' her to pieces for her blank flank.
Apple Bloom: T-t-t-teased?
Sweetie Belle: B-Bullies?!
Applejack: Yup. She came up to the farm to get away from all her problems back home. I'm so proud of y'all. You've done a good deed.
[balloons deflating]
Scootaloo: So that's why she jumped in when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started giving us a hard time.
Apple Bloom: She didn't want to be bullied like at home, so she decided to be a bully instead!
Sweetie Belle: And now we've turned into bullies too!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: What do we do?!
[crowd cheering]
Diamond Tiara: Nice float, Babs.
Babs Seed: Snagged it from those whiny baby blank flanks.
Diamond Tiara: Too cool for mule, Babs.
Mule: [brays]
Apple Bloom: We gotta stop that float!
[kitchen timer ticking]
[band playing very loudly]
Apple Bloom: [almost inaudible] Applejack, quick you have to–
Applejack: Huh?
Apple Bloom: [almost inaudible] Quick, you have to help us–
Applejack: What?
[band stops]
Apple Bloom: We booby-trapped it!
[pause]
[band suddenly starts again]
Scootaloo: Babs! Bully! Payback! No time to explain! We've just gotta get Babs out of that float!
[kitchen timer ticking]
Spectator: Oof, my popcorn!
Apple Bloom: Sorry!
Scootaloo: 'Scuse me! Ah, whoops.
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
Scootaloo: Pinkie Pie, let us in! ("lettuce in")
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Funny joke!
Apple Bloom: No, really! Let- us- in!
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh! Here!
[tires screeching]
[ponies panicking]
Apple Bloom: Babs! You gotta get out of that float!
Babs Seed: You're not getting your float back, crybabies!
Sweetie Belle: But it's booby tra–
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Veggie salad!
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Veggie salad!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Veggie salad. [munching]
Apple Bloom: Seriously?
[engine driving away]
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Don't leave me! [laughs] Leaf me! [laughs]
[kitchen timer ticking]
[kitchen timer ringing]
Babs Seed: What the–
Apple Bloom: Babs! Babs!
Babs Seed: Oof!
Apple Bloom: [yelling] Oooh, sweet applesauce!
[thud]
[squelch]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [groans of pain]
Apple Bloom: Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in stupidest ideas of all time.
[camera clicking]
Applejack: Are y'all okay?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah... we're fine.
Scootaloo: No sweat.
Babs Seed: After I'd been so mean to ya... you saved me!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] About that...
Babs Seed: I don't get it! I saw it all happen! You pushed me out just when the float was about to head into the lake!
Scootaloo: Except... we were the reason it was headed into the lake.
Sweetie Belle: We booby trapped the float.
Apple Bloom: Y'see Babs, we were tryin' to get you back for bein' a big bully...
Scootaloo: But then Applejack told us about how you were being bullied back in Manehattan.
Sweetie Belle: And we figured out you were just doing it to avoid getting picked on in Ponyville. But, by then... we were the ones being bullies. And... Oh, why does life have to be so ironic?!
Apple Bloom: Guess what we're trying to say is...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We're sorry.
Babs Seed: [blows] I'm sorry too.
Applejack: [sighs] Y'know, this all could've been avoided if y'all just came to me in the very beginning.
Sweetie Belle: That's what I kept on saying!
Babs Seed: So... can we... start over?
Apple Bloom: Definitely.
Scootaloo: Yeah.
[Scootaloo playing timpani]
Sweetie Belle: "We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, elect Babs Seed to join us as a sister, friend, confidaynte, alley, boss-om buddy, gal pal, compader, chum of chums..."
Scootaloo: [clears throat]
Sweetie Belle: Well you wrote this.
Scootaloo: Oh, uh, yeah...
Sweetie Belle: "Homegirl... Amiga..." Blah blah blah blah blah. Oh, yes, here. "...and fellow Cutie Mark Crusader! You are solemnly sworn in, here this day, in witness of your fellow sisters, friends, confidantes... boss-om buddies... compadres..."
Scootaloo: Congratulations! [quickly, under her breath] Gotta remember to revise that.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Babs Seed: [blows]
Apple Bloom: So you promise you're gonna start our Manehattan branch of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, right?
Babs Seed: Yeah, and I promise to keep talking to my big sis about the teasing back home.
Applejack: Good. And if you have any problems, we've got your back too, y'hear?
Diamond Tiara: So you're leaving huh? Great! Now we're stuck here with these lame blank flanks.
Babs Seed: Hey! That's not how you talk to my friends!
Silver Spoon: F-friends?
Babs Seed: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Diamond Tiara: Well, what if I do? What are you gonna do about it?
Babs Seed: Tell your mothers about your bad attitudes!
[splat]
[pig grunts]
Sweetie Belle: I'm sure gonna miss that bad seed.
Applejack: Bad seed? I thought y'all were friends now?
Sweetie Belle: No, see, first we called her 'bad seed' as in actually a bad seed, but now she's bad as in good. Get it?
Applejack: Yea... No.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
[train whistles]
[music]
[credits]

Magic Duel

[rain falling]
[splash]
[shop bell ringing]
[items clattering]
Shopkeeper: May I help you, traveler? Hmm, something drew you to my shop... something powerful. Ah, you have a keen eye. The Alicorn Amulet is one of the most mysterious and powerful of all the known magical charms. Uh, ah— I'm afraid this is... far too dangerous.
[bits clinking]
Shopkeeper: [quickly] Would you like that gift-wrapped?
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Don't be scared, little friends. Twilight is wonderful with magic. [to Twilight] Anything happens to them, Twilight, so help me...
Spike: Aww, don't worry, Fluttershy, Twilight's magic has gotten a lot better since she accidentally crushed me and Applejack with a giant snowball.
Fluttershy: Of course she's good with magic. Twilight's great with magic. I guess I just don't want my little friends to be scared. Oh, oh, look how scared they are!
[animals chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: I promise, Fluttershy. Nothing bad will happen to them.
Fluttershy: [high-pitched] I know! Stop, stop! They can't take it!
[animals chittering and cheering]
Fluttershy: [teeth chattering]
Spike: Twilight, that looks amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: Phew!
[animals chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: That's all for now, little ones. Maybe we can practice again later, if Fluttershy says it's alright.
[animals chittering]
Spike: Your magic has really improved since we came to Ponyville, Twilight. Princess Celestia's going to love it.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike. I have to be at my best when she arrives with the delegates from Saddle Arabia. I can't believe she's trusting me with the entertainment.
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight! Come quick! It's an emergency!
[poof]
Rarity: [gasp] You beast! This shade of brown should only be used for accents!
Pinkie Pie: Come on, Applejack. We've got to get her in a nice, soothing pink, stat!
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on here?
Trixie: Well, well, well. If it isn't... Twilight Sparkle.
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Trixie!
Spike: What's she doing here?
Rainbow Dash: You call that great and powerful?
[poof]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
Snips: Oh! She's Rainbow Wobble, now!
Snails: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
Snails: Good spell, oh Great and Powerful Trixie!
Trixie: You two! Quiet!
[poof]
Snips: Uh, hey! W— What happened?
Snails: Get off of me! Brbrbr.
Snips: Let go!
Snails: Go this way!
Twilight Sparkle: Stop picking on my friends, Trixie!
Trixie: You and I have some unfinished business. My magic's gotten better since I was here last. And I'm going to prove it! Me and you, a magic duel. Winner stays, loser leaves Ponyville forever!
Twilight Sparkle: Forget it! I'd never make a deal like that!
Trixie: Hm. Your choice.
Spike: [yelps]
[stretching noise]
[bouncing]
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie, put him down. Why are you doing this?
Trixie: Why? Because you humiliated me! After you showed me up with that Ursa Minor, I became a laughing stock! Everywhere I went I was laughed at and ostracized. I even had to take a job on a rock farm just to earn a living! A rock farm!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! You're lucky a rock farm would take the likes of you!
[click and drag sounds]
Trixie: Now I want revenge! And I'll just keep casting spells 'til you agree. Well? What do you say?
[Snails and Rainbow Dash grunting]
Spike: Whoooaah! Help... me!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, Trixie. Let's duel!
Trixie: Excellent.
[thud]
Rarity: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: [indignant muffled noises]
Trixie: If I lose, I won't set hoof in Ponyville again. But if you lose, you're the one banished from this one-horse town!
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
[tense music]
Trixie: Draw!
[poof]
[ponies gasping]
Shoeshine: [Wilhelm scream]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Phew. [gasps]
[poik]
[parasprite burping]
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales]
[snow melting]
Rest of main cast: [laughing]
[snip, snip]
Trixie: Snips, Snails, step forward!
Snips: Wh— what is it, oh Great and P— P— Powerful Trixie? [laughs nervously]
Baby Snips: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: An age spell? But... how could you do an age spell? That's only for the highest level unicorns!
[wiping noise]
Trixie: Well, Twilight? Give up?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] [grunts]
Baby Snips: [surprised noise]
Spike: Come on, Twilight, you can do it!
[magic sputtering]
[thud]
Baby Snips: [crying]
Old Snails: [spine clicking]
Trixie: Trixie is the highest level unicorn! [laughs] And now it's time for you to leave Ponyville! FOREVER!
Applejack: That's enough, Trixie!
Rarity: You proved your point, but you can't possibly expect Twilight to leave Ponyville!
Trixie: You fools! She's already gone!
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[pop]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, guys. I'll figure something out. Just take care of each other. And keep an eye on Trixie. There's something strange about her.
Spike: Twilight? [thunk]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts of exertion] Ugh! It's impossible! How could Trixie know such advanced magic? Without Spike, I can't get a message to the Princess in Saddle Arabia. So who else do I know who understands strange and powerful magic?
[tribal music]
Zecora: Your tale of woe upsets me so. [sips] No wonder you're dour. It's an abuse of power!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what to do, Zecora. I feel like I've abandoned my friends. But I can't take her on horn-to-horn.
Zecora: [sips] If you train with me, so good you'll be. I'll show you the way to make sure she won't stay.
Twilight Sparkle: You'll train me in magic? But she was doing age spells, weather spells, you name it!
Zecora: When it comes to magic, it would be tragic if somepony licked me, especially Trixie.
Twilight Sparkle: You really think I can beat her?
Zecora: Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, when do we start?
[banner unfurling]
Trixie: You two! Hurry up with my throne.
[splat]
Trixie: And you, how long do I have to wait for my applesauce facial?
Applejack: Forget it, Trixie! I ain't doing nothin' 'til you let Twilight come home! [laughs uncontrollably] Okay, I'll do it! Just make it stop! Hoo!
[crash]
Trixie: I thought I told you to dance!
Rarity: Oh, Trixie's cruel magic is ruining Ponyville. Ow! [whines] Oh, somepony has to help us!
[tribal music]
Zecora: Ah, no noise, no sound, no din, no fuss must interfere with your focus. Unlearn what you have learned. Only then can victory be earned.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
Trixie: [echoing] Trixie is the highest level unicorn! [laughs]
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[splash]
Zecora: There is much, much that I can teach, but the answer you need may still be out of reach.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Zecora. I'm trying my best, but... I can't stop thinking about Trixie. There was something different about her. It's like she's gone from high and mighty to mean and nasty.
Zecora: Your thinking needs a readjust. Total concentration is a must.
[banners flapping in wind]
[wind whistling]
Rarity: Ugh, this really doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere.
Pinkie Pie: [muffled noises]
Applejack: I hear you, Pinkie. I can't find anything that describes the kind of magic Trixie's doin'.
Spike: Ugh, there must be something! Twilight has every magic book there is!
Fluttershy: [quietly] Um, I think I may have found something?
Rarity: Yes, it's time for us to consider our futures in this new Trixie-led Ponyville.
Fluttershy: [quietly] Um, this sounds an awful lot like Trixie's magic–
Applejack: She wants me to grow apples with no peels! Now how the hay am I supposed to do that?
Fluttershy: [quietly] Um, there's a picture here of that necklace–
Pinkie Pie: [muffled noises]
Fluttershy: [quietly] It's called the Alicorn Amulet, and whoever wears it is blessed with untold—
Spike: Hey, everypony, look! This book has a picture of Trixie's necklace! It's called the Alicorn Amulet, and whoever wears it is blessed with untold powers!
Fluttershy: [quietly] If you read a little further, you'll see—
Rarity: [reading] Even though it provides great power, it also corrupts the user!
Fluttershy: [quietly] Yes, but, um, you can't—
Spike: [reading] You can't just take the Alicorn Amulet off her neck, it has a magical lock! Trixie's the only pony who can take it off!
Fluttershy: [quietly] Maybe we could—
Applejack: We need to get this information to Twilight. She'll know what to do.
Fluttershy: [quietly] But, h— how—
Rarity: If any of us try to leave, Trixie's magical force field will tell her!
Fluttershy: [quietly] Maybe we should—
Rainbow Dash: I've got it! Trying to sneak past the force field would be impossible without help, but I know who's got the goods to get into those woods!
Fluttershy: [quietly] It— it must be—
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Whaaat?!
[thud]
Applejack: What do you say, Fluttershy? Can you handle the mission?
Fluttershy: No! I'll crack under the pressure! I'll snap like a twig!
Rainbow Dash: Perfect! Fluttershy'll sneak out of Ponyville and find Twilight.
Fluttershy: But— but I, I—
[thud]
Fluttershy: [teeth chattering] [sighs] Okay.
Applejack: Alright!
Other ponies and Spike: [general agreement]
Rarity: I know just the design for a dangerous mission outfit!
Snips and Snails: [grunts of exertion]
Trixie: Pull, you fools! [cracks whip] Somepony set off the magic force field, and Trixie intends to punish them!
Snips: [gasping] But... wouldn't it be faster if we had some... wheels?!
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't trust wheels. Now pull faster!
Snails: [gasping] I'm telling ya, Snips, she's getting weirder and weirder!
[whip cracking]
Snips and Snails: [grunts of exertion]
Trixie: Stop! You there! What are you doing?!
[beaver chittering angrily]
[thud]
[poof]
Snails: Gah, why is she so mean to us?
Snips: Yeah! I miss the days when she was just a fraud!
[whip cracking]
[grinding noises]
[beaver chittering]
[pop]
Fluttershy: Oh, oh dear! Rarity's dangerous mission outfit is ruined! Guess we'd better go back! [laughs nervously]
[beaver chittering]
[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh, okay, okay, you're right. I need to be brave and find Twilight.
[bird tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh! Y— you found her?
[bird tweeting]
Fluttershy: She's in the Everfree Forest?!
[whoosh]
[pop]
Fluttershy: Oh, this is me being brave! I wanna be brave at home, locked in my closet, with my teddy bear!
[tribal music]
Fluttershy: [sips]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I didn't recognize the Alicorn Amulet!
Fluttershy: The more she uses it, the more it will corrupt her!
Twilight Sparkle: But how am I supposed to beat that amulet? My magic's not good enough!
Zecora: Twilight Sparkle, much work have you done. You learned all of my lessons; all but one. If Trixie's tricks have you in a fix, you must nix your magic and use the six.
Twilight Sparkle: Nix your magic, use the six... Nix your magic, use the six! Use the six! That's it! Zecora, you're a genius! Now we'll need to get you back inside Ponyville, Fluttershy.
[scribbling]
[dragging noises]
Trixie: This better not be another false alarm, or the Great and Powerful Trixie will– [gasps] You! [muffled] What's the matter, Twilight Sparkle? Not enjoying your exile?
Twilight Sparkle: I know about the Alicorn Amulet. I know you cheated.
Trixie: Cheated? Moi?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. And I thought you might wanna see what a real magical amulet looks like. Zecora gave it to me. [muffled] It's from beyond the Everfree Forest, [normal] and it's way more powerful than your measly little Alicorn Amulet!
Trixie: Ha! Nothing's more powerful than the Alicorn Amulet! And nopony's more powerful than the Great and Powerful Trixie!
Twilight Sparkle: [muffled] Care to put your amulet where your mouth is? [normal] How about another duel?
Trixie: [muffled] Why should I? I already beat you.
Twilight Sparkle: That's up to you! But I guess you'll never see the totally awesome magic from beyond the Everfree Forest. Come on, Zecora.
Trixie: Wait!
[poof]
Trixie: Okay, okay, you're on! A second duel.
[thunder rumbles]
[lightning cracks]
[hoof stomps]
Trixie: Let's start with a simple age spell, shall we?
Twilight Sparkle: Let's.
Trixie: Snips, Snails.
[poof]
Baby Snips and Baby Snails: [crying]
Trixie: An oldie, but a goodie, ha. Now, let's see what your little charm can do.
Twilight Sparkle: No problem. Um, Applejack, Rarity? Could you help me, please?
Applejack: Huh?
Rarity: Huh?
[scratching]
[magic zap]
Trixie: Oh, ho-hum. So you can do an age spell, big deal.
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
Trixie: That's... That's impossible!
Twilight Sparkle: That's nothing!
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: Yow!
Trixie: How did you–
Twilight Sparkle: Duplication spell. Ever see one pony play ten instruments?
[magic zap]
Pinkie Pie: [plays one-pony band]
Trixie: This... just can't be!
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, one more. I can turn a mare into a stallion.
[magic zap]
Big McIntosh (as Male Applejack): (nervously) Eeyup.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, Trixie, looks like my amulet is more powerful than yours– Hey! Give it back!
Trixie: [laughs] With this amulet, I shall now rule all of Equestria!
[click]
[electricity sparking]
[click]
Trixie: Witness, my subjects. Gaze upon an ever greater and 'powerful-er' Trixie!
[lightning cracks]
Trixie: Hey! [scoffs] I don't need that old Alicorn Amulet. I have this!
[weak electricity crackling]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Stop it! Tha— that tickles!
Trixie: Tickles?! That was supposed to make you writhe in agony! This amulet is defective! [magic zap] Give mine back!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry. This is going back into hiding where it belongs.
Twilight Sparkle: By the way, Trixie, the amulet around your neck? It's one of Zecora's doorstops.
[rock shattering]
Trixie: [upset] But... how did you do those spells? Nopony can do those spells!
Twilight Sparkle: You're right. Not even me. Zecora taught me so much about magic while I was in exile. She even taught me when not to use it. My magic alone wasn't powerful enough to take on the Alicorn Amulet head to head, so I needed to use a different kind of magic – the magic of friendship. I also knew that the only pony who could get the amulet off your neck was you.
Trixie: But... what about the pony with the ten instruments?
Twilight Sparkle: That's not magic. That was just Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: [continues playing one-pony band]
[ponies cheering]
[birds singing]
[ponies in awe]
Saddle Arabian delegates: Oooh!
[fireworks exploding]
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?
Trixie: It's the least I could do. I treated you and your friends so horribly when I was wearing that Alicorn Amulet. I just couldn't control myself. You can forgive me, can't you?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. Sure.
Trixie: Oh, good. Don't you think the Great and Apologetic Trixie is the most magnificent humble pony you've ever seen?!
[poof]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: [angry muffled yells]
[poof]
Pinkie Pie: [inhales]
[music]
[credits]

Sleepless in Ponyville

[bits clinking]
Scootaloo: [wings buzzing]
[ponies yelping]
Scootaloo: Whoo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: [sips] Nice moves, kid.
Scootaloo: Nice moves? Rainbow Dash thinks I've got–
[thud]
Scootaloo: [gasps] ...nice moves!
Bessie: [moos]
[theme song]
Scootaloo: ...Then, all of a sudden, I'm airborne! And Rainbow Dash looks over and was like, "Nice moves, kid."
Apple Bloom: Woooow.
Sweetie Belle: She really said that?
Scootaloo: I mean, it's like she practically told me she wanted to take me under her wing, teach me everything she knows, and become like my big sister!
Apple Bloom: I dunno about all that.
Sweetie Belle: It was a really nice compliment and all, but...
Scootaloo: I know, I know. But all that stuff I said could happen, right?
Apple Bloom: Sure.
Sweetie Belle: Absolutely.
Scootaloo: I just need to find a way to spend some time with her, y'know, so she can see more of my awesomeness.
Apple Bloom: Well... Applejack and I are supposed to be campin' up at Winsome Falls this weekend. Maybe I could get my big sis to invite Rainbow Dash, and then you could come, too!
Scootaloo: Really?!
Apple Bloom: Sure!
Sweetie Belle: I wanna go...
Apple Bloom: Well, duh, of course you can go!
Sweetie Belle: And I'll get Rarity to come too! Rarity loves camping!
Rarity: I despise camping! All of that... [shudders] ...nature.
Sweetie Belle: Applejack's going with her little sister. But, y'know, if you don't wanna spend time with me... [squee]
Rarity: Oh, all right! Ooh! Of course I will need to find an outfit more appropriate for 'roughing it'. Ooh!
Sweetie Belle: See? Told you she'd wanna go.
[water running]
Applejack: You packed bug spray?
Apple Bloom: Yup. You got the canteens?
Applejack: Yup. Looks like we're all set then.
[cart trundling]
Rarity: Hey!
Applejack: Gee, Rarity, did you remember to pack?
Rarity: Oh, well, let's see who gets the last laugh when you're absolutely desperate to curl your lashes, and you realize you didn't bring your eyelash curler.
Applejack: Well, looks like we're all set now.
Scootaloo: But what about Rainbow Dash? Isn't Rainbow Dash coming?
Applejack: 'Course she is, sugarcube. She's gonna meet us up at our first campsite.
Scootaloo: Oh.
Applejack: Alright, y'all, let's move 'em out!
Rarity: Oh, are we there yet?
Applejack: The last thousand times you asked that, the answer was no. This time, it's actually yes. There's Rainbow Dash up there right now.
[crunch]
[thump]
[splash]
Scootaloo: [quietly] Alright, Scootaloo, just play it cool. [normal] Hey Rai–
[wobbling noise]
[thud]
Scootaloo: [clears throat] Hey, Rainbow Dash! What's up?
Rainbow Dash: What took you guys so long?
Applejack: Well, some of us didn't pack as light as the others. So we were slowed down a bit.
[hammering]
Rainbow Dash: Looks like you'll be sharing a tent with me, huh?
Scootaloo: Heh, if that's okay with you.
Rainbow Dash: Sure! Long as you don't snore. You don't snore, do you?
Scootaloo: Nope. No way. Not me. Never snored a day or [laughs nervously] night in my life.
Rainbow Dash: Then you and I are gonna get along just fine.
[pop]
[wind blowing]
Rainbow Dash: You have got to be kidding me.
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, do be a dear and see if you can find some fresh flowers for my bedside vase.
Rainbow Dash: [mimicking Rarity] Scootaloo, do be a sweetheart and see if you can gather some firewood.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Seriously though. Can you get us some wood for the fire?
Scootaloo: Of course!
[fire lighting]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, everybody get comfortable, 'cause I'm about to tell you the best story you've ever heard.
Scootaloo: Is it about the time when Rarity had wings, and then they got ruined, and then you saved her from plummeting to her doom?
Rainbow Dash: Okay, maybe it's the second best story you've ever heard. But probably still the scariest. [spookily] You like scary stories, right?
Scootaloo: [gasps] Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: It all happened on a night just like this one, in a forest, just like this...
Rainbow Dash: ...And then, The Olden Pony asked, [mimicking aged voice] "Who's got my rusty horseshoe?"
Sweetie Belle: Not me!
[suspenseful pause]
Rainbow Dash: You do!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Scootaloo: [clears throat] Something in my throat. I wasn't scared at all, heheh. Good story.
Rainbow Dash: Knew you wouldn't be scared. The way you jumped that cart the other day, you're like me – fearless.
Scootaloo: [nervously] Yeah. Fearless. [teeth chattering]
[owl hoots]
Rarity: [coddling] Don't worry. Rarity is here to keep you safe and sound. Ooh!
Applejack: [yawns] Think it's about time for me to hit the straw.
Apple Bloom: [trembling]
Applejack: Don't you worry, little sis. There's no 'Olden Pony' in our tent.
Scootaloo: [nervously] Haa, that sure was funny, wasn't it? Heheh. How they were all afraid of The Olden Pony? Heh, but not me, heh!
Rainbow Dash: That's because you're tough, just like when I was your age!
[splash]
Scootaloo: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: I'm hitting the sack. Come in whenever you feel like it.
[twig snaps]
[leaves rustling]
Scootaloo: [nervously] It's, it's nothing... Just my imagination...
[branches creaking]
Scootaloo: [nervously] And that isn't the thundering stomp of The Olden Pony...
[wolf howling]
[zip]
Rainbow Dash: [snoring loudly]
[distant muttering]
Scootaloo: I-Is anyone out there?
[hoof stamps]
[branches creaking]
The Olden Pony: [mumbling]
Scootaloo: [gasp] [panting]
The Olden Pony: Who got my rusty horseshoe?
Scootaloo: [gasp] [panting] [neighs]
[roar]
[snap]
Scootaloo: [sighs]
The Olden Pony: Who's got my rusty horseshoe?
Scootaloo: [cries] [dash] [panting] Rainbow Dash–?
The Olden Pony: You do!
Scootaloo: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: [snores]
Scootaloo: [nervous humming]
Scootaloo: [nervous humming]
Rainbow Dash: [yawns] What's that noise? Is there a bug in here? [sighs] I dunno about you, but I slept like a filly.
Scootaloo: [nervously] Best night ever.
Rainbow Dash: Glad you're rested up, because we've got a long trek ahead. Totally gonna be worth it when we get to Winsome Falls.
[eerie noises]
Scootaloo: Yeah... Totally... [twitches]
Rarity: Ohh... Am I sweating? Oh! I think I'm sweating! Oh, uh, but it's absolutely worth it to get to spend time with my little sister. It's just that this cart feels like it's getting heavier all the time!
Applejack: I don't care if that's cart's as heavy as a pack of mules. If we don't get a move on, it'll be dark before we get to the campsite!
Scootaloo: [gasps] Dark?! [wings buzzing] I'll just ride ahead and make sure the path is clear. We don't wanna be out here after dark, right?
Rainbow Dash: Doesn't matter to me.
Scootaloo: Well, y'know, [hushed] it's for the scaredy-ponies, heheh.
Scootaloo: [yawns]
[thump]
Scootaloo: [gasps] Don't fall asleep now... We've got to get to that campsite before dark... [snores, continues over]
[bonk]
Crocodile: [growls]
Bear: [licks lips] [chomps] [grunts]
Rarity: [fades in] That's why it's always important to bring your own trunk on any public outing.
Scootaloo: [gasps] Um... don't come this way! Take the path! It's, heh, way better than going through the bushes.
[twig snaps]
Scootaloo: [yelps]
[poof]
[crunch]
Applejack: You're more nervous than a worm in an apple on cider making day. What gives, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: Heh, nothing, just thought I heard something, aheh.
[owl hoots]
Scootaloo: [yelps]
Applejack: You sure you're okay? You seem a little jumpy.
Scootaloo: Just getting my exercise! You know how important it is to stretch out those hindquarters every so often, aheh.
[frog croaking]
[bells ringing]
Scootaloo: Uh, d-do you need a little help?
Rarity: That's so sweet, thank you.
Scootaloo: Um... what are friends for? [sounds of exertion]
[cart creaking]
Applejack: No need for tents tonight, y'all. We'll just take shelter in that cave.
Rainbow Dash: All right! A deep, dark cave! Perfect for the story I've got for tonight. All we need is a campfire, and we're good to go.
Scootaloo: [gulps] [nervously] Uh, of course...
[wolf howling]
Scootaloo: [nervously] I'll be right back with lots of firewood from the deep... dark... not-scary-at-all forest!
Rainbow Dash: Thanks.
[creatures growling]
Scootaloo: [breathing heavily] [sighs] Okay. I can do this. On the count of three, I get those branches. One... two... three! [trembling] [sighs] [nervously] Here, branches branches branches...
Applejack: Bbbbrrr! Hoo-wee! It's colder than a timberwolf's toenail. Bbbrr! Where's that Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: [panicked laughing] Here you go!
Rainbow Dash: That's it?
Scootaloo: It's all I could find, 'cause, y'know, there aren't that many trees around here!
Applejack: It's all we need. Why don't you sit with Rainbow Dash for a while?
[fire starts]
Rainbow Dash: Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the [spookily] scary part. [laughs evilly]
Scootaloo: Hey, I have an idea! How about I tell tonight's story?
Rainbow Dash: Alright, just make sure it's a horrible one.
Scootaloo: There once was a really really nice pony who lived in a bright and sunny land, where there are rainbows every day, and lots and lots of happy friends, and–
Rainbow Dash: No offense, but it's not a real campfire story unless somepony's shaking. [spookily] I've been told that these very woods are haunted...
Scootaloo: [gulps]
Rainbow Dash: [spookily] ...by The Headless Horse! It gallops only at night–
Applejack: If it doesn't have a head, then how in tarnation does this pony know where it's goin'?
Rainbow Dash: It's headless, not brainless. [spookily] ...looking for little lost ponies–
Applejack: So where's its brain?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. [spookily] Fear was dripping from the air...[crossfades out]
Rainbow Dash: [spookily] [crossfades in] ...and they were never heard from ever again!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] Never?
Rainbow Dash: Never.
[fire sparks]
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [screaming] [laughing]
Scootaloo: [trembling]
Rarity: Don't worry, you'll be safe with me tonight.
Scootaloo: It's not time for bed yet, is it?
Applejack: 'Fraid so, Scootaloo.
Scootaloo: Uh, but we haven't even sung any campfire songs yet! [squeak]
Sweetie Belle: You don't have to ask me twice!
[thud]
Sweetie Belle: [out of rhythm and out of tune] Ninety-nine buckets of oats on the wall, ninety-nine buckets of oats! Take one down, [crossfades] pass it around, you got eighty-one buckets of oats on the wall, [crossfades] forty-one buckets of oats! Take one down, pass it around you got forty [pauses] buckets of oats on the wall! [crossfades] ...buckets of oats! Take one down, pass it around, you've got zero buckets of oats on the waaaaaaaalllllll!!!! [snores]
Other ponies: [yawning]
Rarity: Good night, Sweetie Belle.
Applejack: Good night, y'all.
Apple Bloom: Good night, y'all.
Rainbow Dash: Sleep tight.
Scootaloo: Oh, just one more song! Anyone? [whoosh] How about a dance contest? I know you love to cut a rug, so how 'bout we mess up a cave floor? I have a brilliant idea! Hide and seek! Who's with me?
Apple Bloom: [yawns] Maybe tomorrow.
Scootaloo: Aww.
Applejack: Seems like you don't really wanna go to sleep tonight. Is there some reason why?
Scootaloo: Pfft, of course not! I just love camping and hanging out with Rainbow Dash so much that I don't wanna waste a single minute with sleep! [yawns] Heh, silly sleep.
Rainbow Dash: That's cool and all, Scoot, but this pony needs her shut-eye and she needs it now!
Scootaloo: Ugh, this is so unfair... [yawns] I'm falling asleep... [snores]
[water dripping]
[hoofsteps]
[hoofsteps increase speed]
[vehicle accelerating]
Scootaloo: [gasps] If The Headless Horse catches me, I'm never gonna be heard from again! And I wanna be heard from! Woah, woaaah! Ugh! [grunts] Woah!
[running hoofsteps]
Scootaloo: It's all over! [cries hysterically]
Scootaloo: [panting] Aaah!
Princess Luna: [echoing] A warm welcome to you, Scootaloo.
[poof]
Scootaloo: Princess Luna! I thought you were The Headless Horse!
Princess Luna: You were mistaken, but I hope not disappointed.
Scootaloo: You are so, so much better than The Headless Horse. But what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Canterlot?
Princess Luna: I am the princess of the night. Thus it is my duty to come into your dreams.
Scootaloo: Oh, yeah... Wait, is this just a dream? But it feels so real!
[reverberating drumbeat]
Princess Luna: I assure you that you are asleep. But when you awake, the thing that frightens you most will still exist.
Scootaloo: [nervously] Eh... The Headless Horse?
Princess Luna: Hmmm... Is The Headless Horse really what frightens you the most?
Scootaloo: Mm-mm. I'm afraid Rainbow Dash will find out I'm not as tough as she thinks I am.
Princess Luna: Everypony has fears, Scootaloo. Everypony must face them in their own way. But they must be faced, or the nightmares will continue.
Scootaloo: [nervous whine]
[rocks tumbling]
Princess Luna: Face your fears!
Scootaloo: –Princess Luna?! [sighs] It was just a dream.
[water dripping]
Scootaloo: [gasps] But The Headless Horse isn't! Rainbow Dash said it lives here, in these very woods!
[distant whinnying]
Scootaloo: It's the wicked whinny of The Headless Horse! [wings motoring]
Rainbow Dash: [whinny-like snoring]
Scootaloo: [panting] So it's a horse without a head... which means it doesn't have a mouth... and if it doesn't have a mouth, then... it's not a horse-eat-pony kind of horse... but still... it's a horse without a head!
[tires screeching]
Scootaloo: Whoa, whoa! [whining]
[river rushing]
[splash]
Scootaloo: Hello?! Is anyone out there? [nervously] Anyone except The Headless Horse?
[branch cracking]
Scootaloo: Heellllp–
[splash]
Scootaloo: [gasps for breath]
[splashing]
Scootaloo: [screams, fades out]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: I gotcha!
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash! Is that you? Thank you, thank you!
Rainbow Dash: What were you doing out here in the middle of the night?!
Princess Luna: [echoing] It is time for you to face your real fear, Scootaloo!
Scootaloo: [sighs] I'm so, so sorry, Rainbow Dash! I just wanted you to hang out with me and see how cool I was so you'd take me under your wing, teach me everything you know, and become like my big sister! [takes breath] But then you started telling those spooky stories and I got scared! I thought I heard The Headless Horse so I ran out here by myself, and... [crying] ...well, I guess you know the rest. [sniffling]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I'm gonna tell you something, but if you ever tell anypony else, I'm gonna deny it. First time I heard those stories... I was scared too.
Scootaloo: [sniffles] You were?
Rainbow Dash: Sure! I mean, I got over it because I realized pretty quick that if there was such thing as a Headless Horse, I could totally take it on. So, you're looking for somepony to take you under their wing, huh?
Scootaloo: Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I might be up for something like that.
Scootaloo: Really?
Rainbow Dash: As long as you don't go falling into any more rivers in the middle of the night.
Scootaloo: [giggles] It's a deal!
[waterfalls rushing]
Sweetie Belle: I call sister teams! Last herd to make it to the falls is a moldy carrot!
Rarity: Ugh, if you insist. [giggles] It is so on!
Rainbow Dash: They think they can beat the two of us?
Scootaloo: [wings fluttering]
The Olden Pony: [grumbling] Who's got my rusty horseshoe?
Rainbow Dash: Here it is, for pony's sake. Now take it and stop all your moaning.
The Olden Pony: Thank you, and have a nice day.
Princess Luna: [chuckles]
[music]
[credits]

Wonderbolts Academy

Rarity: [sipping]
Pinkie Pie: Ooooh, I wish the mailpony would just come already! I can't wait another minute to find out if Rainbow Dash got in or not!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you're more nervous than Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: I'm not nervous at all. When I get into the Wonderbolt Academy...
Pinkie Pie: IF you get in! If you get in! Don't jinx it!
Rainbow Dash: I'm telling you, it's in the bag.
Pinkie Pie: Don't jinx it!
Applejack: She is the best flyer in Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash: In Ponyville? I'm probably the best flyer in all of Equestria. I wouldn't be surprised if they just went ahead and made me a Wonderbolt on the first day.
Messenger Pony: Got a letter here for Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: I... didn't get in.
Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha! Ha, you guys are so gullible. Like I wasn't gonna get in!
Pinkie Pie: I'm just sooooooooooo happy for you!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... thanks?
Pinkie Pie: [squeals]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie? I kinda need to get going.
Pinkie Pie: Okay. I'm done!
Rainbow Dash: The sooner I get there, the sooner I get to show 'em my stuff! See you guys in a week!
Applejack: Good luck!
Rainbow Dash: Won't need it!
[megaphone feedback]
Pinkie Pie: DON'T FORGET TO WRITE!!! [echoing] [to others] Do you think she heard me?
[theme song]
[Pegasi chattering in background]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! This is gonna be sweet!
Spitfire: Well, lookie what we got here. Bet y'all think you're Wonderbolt material, don't ya?
All Pegasi: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Think you got what it takes to be an elite flyer?
All Pegasi: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Well then. Let me be the first to tell you... You don't! If you had what it took to be an elite flyer, you'd already be a Wonderbolt! Still think you're something special?
Cloudchaser: No, ma'am!
Spitfire: [to Bulk Biceps] Ya think you're hot stuff? [to Rainbow Dash] You look like you're the worst flyer in the whole academy! You'll probably quit after the first day!
Rainbow Dash: No, ma'am! I'd never quit, ma'am!
Spitfire: Ha. What about you? Bet you couldn't fly past the first flagpole without getting winded.
Lightning Dust: Try me, ma'am.
Spitfire: What's that?
Lightning Dust: Let me show you what I've got, ma'am.
Spitfire: Ah. You want a chance to prove yourself, huh?
Lightning Dust: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Well then, now's your chance. Give me five hundred laps! All of you!
[Pegasi moan]
Spitfire: Now! [blows whistle]
[Pegasi cough]
Spitfire: Lap four-hundred and ninety-nine!
Rainbow Dash: One more lap to go!
Lightning Dust: You're on!
Spitfire: Five hundred!
[screech]
Spitfire: Not bad... for a couple of newbies.
Lightning Dust: Name's Lightning Dust.
Rainbow Dash: Rainbow Dash!
Lightning Dust: Wanna grab some grub in the mess hall?
Rainbow Dash: Definitely.
[mailbox door creaking]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash hasn't even been gone twenty-four hours yet. Give her a chance to settle in first. Why don't we just go see what Twilight's up to? I hear Princess Celestia's got her workin' on some new spells!
Pinkie Pie: New spells, huh? Okay. Wait! If I'm not here when Rainbow Dash's letter arrives, I won't be able to read it right away. And if I don't read it right away, I won't be able to write her back right away. And if I don't write her back right away, she might think I didn't get her letter, and then she might worry it got lost. And if she's worrying about her letter, she'll be distracted. And if she's distracted, then she won't do well at the academy! And if she doesn't do well at the academy, then she'll get kicked out! And if she gets kicked out, they'll never let her be a Wonderbolt! And if she doesn't get to be a Wonderbolt, all her dreams will be crushed! And it will be all... my... fault! [thud]
Applejack: So in other words, you're stickin' by the mailbox.
Pinkie Pie: Yep!
Applejack: Suit yourself.
[mailbox door creaking]
Spitfire: The Wonderbolts are the fastest, best precision flyers in the world. But spin-outs can still happen. And when they do, a Wonderbolt must be able to recover quickly. This... is the Dizzitron. It's gonna make you very – I repeat – very dizzy. Your task is to try and recover and fly straight again, as soon as possible. Once you have recovered you must come in for a smooth landing. Now, who's first? [to Meadow Flower] You. You're up.
Meadow Flower: Me? [gulps]
Spitfire: Now! Ready?
Meadow Flower: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Go!
[Dizzitron spinning]
Spitfire: Release!
Meadow Flower: [groaning]
Spitfire: Huh. Fifteen seconds. Decent, but I wouldn't go writin' home about it! Who's next? Alright, Rainbow Dash. Let's see what you got.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Okay, go!
[Dizzitron spinning]
Spitfire: Release! Six seconds? That's an academy record.
Meadow Flower: You made it look so easy.
Rainbow Dash: I make everything look easy.
Spitfire: Okay, Lightning Dust. You're up.
Lightning Dust: Ma'am, can you put the Dizzitron at maximum speed? I wanna push my limits.
Spitfire: You sure about that?
Lightning Dust: Yes ma'am.
Spitfire: Okay. You asked for it.
[Dizzitron spinning rapidly]
Spitfire: Release! Six point five seconds. Not bad.
Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust: Heh!/Oh yeah!
Spitfire: Next!
[off-screen crash]
Rainbow Dash: No pony even came close to six seconds.
Lightning Dust: They should make us Wonderbolts right now.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, they should.
Spitfire: Listen up! For the rest of the camp, you'll be working in pairs. 'Morrow morning, I'll post the teams, including who'll be lead pony and who'll be wingpony. Good luck.
Lightning Dust: Like we're going to need it.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, yeah.
Rainbow Dash: So, which one of you lucky gals gets to be my wingpony? What?
Cloudchaser: Eh, you might want to check the wall.
Rainbow Dash: A wingpony?
Lightning Dust: They made us a team! Isn't that awesome?
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Permission to enter, ma'am.
Spitfire: What is it, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I had the best time on the Dizzitron! Only six seconds!
Spitfire: And?
Rainbow Dash: And you made me a wingpony!
Spitfire: Because I believe you and Lightning Dust will be an unstoppable team. Do you not think you'll be an unstoppable team?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am! I mean no, ma'am! I mean... We'll be an unstoppable team, ma'am.
Spitfire: Then what's the problem?
Rainbow Dash: I think I should be lead pony, ma'am.
Spitfire: And I think Lightning Dust likes to push herself a little harder than you do. That's why I made her lead pony. Got it?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am.
Spitfire: Good.
Spitfire: Today you will all be participating in a flag hunt. We'll divide you into two teams, red... and blue. Whoever finds the most flags of the opposing team's color wins.
[Pegasi cheering]
Meadow Flower: Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!
Spitfire: If you think this is gonna to be fun, you are sadly mistaken. This is for training purposes. This is not recess. Lead ponies and wingponies must fly together. If any pair splits apart, they will be immediately disqualified. Do you understand?
All Pegasi: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Then let's go! [blows whistle]
Lightning Dust: Ready to rock and roll?
Rainbow Dash: Ready.
Lightning Dust: You spotted any flags yet?
Rainbow Dash: Not yet. Oh! There's one!
Lightning Dust: Good eyes!
Rainbow Dash: We should slow down. It doesn't look like both of us can make it at this speed!
Lightning Dust: Peh.
Rainbow Dash: Ow!
Spitfire: Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash found the first flag!
Lightning Dust: Come on! Let's find some more!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, sure. Just give me a second.
Lightning Dust: Oh, you're fine.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah... totally. [groans]
Pinkie Pie: [snore] [gasp]
[mailbox door creaks]
Rarity: She's still at it.
Fluttershy: I just wish we could help her.
Pinkie Pie: Help me? The only thing that could possibly help me right now is a letter from Rainbow Dash! It's been three days already. By now, she probably doesn't even know our names anymore! She probably can't remember our faces! "Pinkie Pie? I never heard of a Pinkie Pie! Who is Pinkie Pie?"
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you're so worried, then why don't you send her a letter first?
Pinkie Pie: Of course! That's a great idea!
Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack: [sigh of relief]
Pinkie Pie: Oh wait! I got an even better idea! How about we send Rainbow Dash a care package? You know, before she forgets all about us? Although, come on, let's face it. It's probably too late for that. But, uh, maybe it'll jog her memory somehow.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, I'm sure Rainbow Dash still remembers our faces and who we are. But I think sending her a care package is a great idea.
Pinkie Pie: A care package it is! We'll send it through the mail! WAIT! Ah! That won't work at all!
Applejack: Why not?
Pinkie Pie: Because what if the package gets lost in the mail? What if somepony else gets the package by accident and then she remembers us instead of Rainbow Dash and then she becomes our new friend? And then the real Rainbow Dash won't ever know that she used to have friends and she forgot them!
Applejack: Is anypony else followin' this?
Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity: Mmm-mm.
Pinkie Pie: I've got it! We'll deliver the care package to Rainbow Dash in person!
Rarity: I wouldn't mind a little trip.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll go!
Applejack: Count me in!
Fluttershy: Me too.
Pinkie Pie: Me five! But don't be upset if she doesn't recognize you at first. It may take a while for her to get her memory back.
[trumpet fanfare]
Spitfire: Today we'll be doing our famous air obstacle course.
[cloud spouts bursting]
Spitfire: The object of this exercise is to work on your precision flying under extreme circumstances. And don't worry about winning. It's not a race. Now everypony, get on your marks! [blows whistle]
[cloud spouts bursting]
[screech]
Lightning Dust: Ugh! Can't they go any faster? It's no good, I can't get around them!
Rainbow Dash: Doesn't matter! We can still fly completely in sync and blow Spitfire's mind with our moves!
Lightning Dust: I guess...
[rain falling]
Lightning Dust: What are they, a couple of snails? It's just a little weather.
[lightning strikes]
Lightning Dust: Now's our chance to pass these slowpokes!
[Pegasi screaming]
[screech]
Spitfire: Not bad! And in record time, too! Definitely made the right decision making you two a team. The others seem to have had a little trouble with the precision part of the exercise. I'd better go help sort them out. Why don't you two go hit the mess hall early?
Lightning Dust: Yes, ma'am!
Rainbow Dash: Thank you, ma'am. Um, Lightning Dust? Next time, maybe we don't cut the other teams off like that.
Lightning Dust: Hey, you snooze, you lose! Besides, Wonderbolts are supposed to be able to recover from a spin-out. You saw them on the Dizzitron! They could use the practice. I mean, it's not our fault we're so much better than those other guys! Not every pony is destined to become a Wonderbolt. Only the best of the best, right?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I-I guess you're right...
Lightning Dust: 'Course I'm right! Now let's go fuel up! Kicking all that tail has made me hungry.
[whistle blows]
[cloud punching]
Bulk Biceps: [chomp] Yeah!
Lightning Dust: I have an idea about how we can literally blow away our competition.
Bulk Biceps: [growl]
Rainbow Dash: But we're already way ahead.
Lightning Dust: Are you in or not?
Spitfire: [echoing] Lightning Dust likes to push herself a little harder than you do. That's why I made her lead pony.
Rainbow Dash: I'm in!
Lightning Dust: Then follow my lead!
[tornado blowing]
Lightning Dust: I can't control it!
Applejack: It's a twister!
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on!
Rainbow Dash: Noooooo!
Rest of main cast: [screaming]
[boing]
Rest of main cast: [screaming] Huh?
Rainbow Dash: Are you guys okay?
Rarity, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy: Uh-huh.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: You... remember me!
Rainbow Dash: Well... yeah, of course I remember you. But... what are you all doing here?
Applejack: We wanted to bring you a care package. Didn't realize you'd be in the middle of some crazy tornado drill.
Lightning Dust: That... was... awesome!
Rainbow Dash: Awesome? My friends could have been smashed to pieces!
Lightning Dust: Yeah, but they weren't, right? Can't say the same for the clouds. We totally wiped them out with that tornado. The other cadets will have to be up there for days to bust as many as we did.
Rainbow Dash: A hoof bump? Seriously? You made me clip my wing. You sent half of our class into serious tailspins on the obstacle course. You unleashed a tornado that nearly demolished my friends!
Lightning Dust: Yeah, and?
Rainbow Dash: And I get that you want to be the best. So do I! But you're going about it in the wrong way.
Lightning Dust: The Wonderbolts don't seem to think so. After all, Spitfire did make me the leader and you the wingpony.
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] You're right. She did.
[door opens]
Spitfire: This better be important. You're supposed to be up there busting clouds with your partner.
Rainbow Dash: We're done with that, ma'am.
Spitfire: Already? That's an academy record! Explain your methods.
Rainbow Dash: That's why I'm here, ma'am. Lightning Dust decided to use a tornado.
Spitfire: A bit excessive for cloud-busting. But judging from your time, it was obviously an effective tactic.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well that "effective tactic" nearly took out my friends! No disrespect, ma'am, but there's a big difference between pushing yourself as hard as you can and just being reckless. And if being reckless is what gets rewarded around here, if that's what it means to be a Wonderbolt, then I don't want any part of it.
Spitfire: What are you saying, newbie?
Rainbow Dash: I quit.
[door closes]
Applejack: You did what?!
Rarity: Being a Wonderbolt was your dream!
Rainbow Dash: Not anymore.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I know how much this meant to you.
Spitfire: Rainbow Dash! How dare you storm out of my office without giving me a chance to respond! The Wonderbolts are looking for the best flyers in Equestria, but you were right. Being the best should never come at the expense of our fellow ponies. It's not just about pushing ourselves. It's about pushing ourselves in the right direction. You've shown that you're capable of doing just that. You're no wingpony, Rainbow Dash. You're a leader.
Rainbow Dash: OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh!
Spitfire: Now get out there and give me twenty!
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am!
Pinkie Pie: Wait! You didn't even get to open your care package!
[music]
[credits]

Apple Family Reunion

Applejack: Ha! Found 'em!
Granny Smith: Aaa-choooo!
Applejack: Heh. Gesundhoof.
Granny Smith: Why, thank you, Applejack. I still can't believe it's been almost one hundred moons since our last family reunion. Aw, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Applejack: Well, you have been talkin' about it pretty much every day since then.
Granny Smith: Apple Bloom! How them RSVPs comin' along? Who's showin' their muzzle at the reunion?
Apple Bloom: Everypony!
Granny Smith: Everypony? [aside, to Applejack] Feathers on a goat. [to Apple Bloom] Are you sure?
Apple Bloom: Well, I got RSVPs from Apples from Yonder Hill, Hollow Shades, Galloping Gorge, Foal Mountain, Apples from Fillydelphia, Tall Tale Town, and all the Apples from Appleloosa!
Granny Smith: Guh?
Apple Bloom: Oh! And how could I forget? Manehattan! Babs is comin'! I get to see my favorite cousin!
Granny Smith: I think we're gonna need a bigger cider trough.
[theme song]
Granny Smith: Whooeee! Looks like the family's grown tenfold since the last reunion! I'm gonna be busier than a worm in a rotten tomater tryin' to get everything ready!
Applejack: I could always help out.
Apple Bloom: Me, too!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Granny Smith: Oh, I sure would appreciate that. Granny's a little rustier in the giddy-up since the last time the Apples all got together.
Applejack: You may be a tad old, Granny, but you're as feisty and full of spark as ever–
Granny Smith: Who you callin' old?!
Applejack: Uh... I just meant... Why don't you let me take over puttin' the reunion together this time 'round? Then all you need to worry about is enjoyin' yourself.
Granny Smith: Hmmm. Alright, young'un, you got yourself a deal. You are in charge.
Applejack: I won't let you down, Granny. You just tell me what the reunion needs, and I'll take care of the rest.
Granny Smith: I'll do better than tell you what the reunion'll need. I'll show ya!
Granny Smith: We've been hostin' these things at Sweet Apple Acres every hundred moons since we first planted roots here in Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: Hey, who's that?
Granny Smith: That'd be your Great-Great-Auntie Applesauce when she was just about your age. Now, she used to go by another name, but everypony started calling her Applesauce after half her teeth fell out when she was makin' apple jam. Yeah. Never did find them teeth in all those jars.
Apple Bloom: Hey! That's you, Granny!
Granny Smith: Sure is. Apple family's been workin' on that same old quilt since our first reunion.
Young Granny Smith: I can do it! Ngh! Oh, fingle-fangle!
[ponies laughing]
Apple Bloom: [giggling]
Granny Smith: Well, nopony told me you actually had to knot the end of the thread!
Apple Bloom: [giggling]
Applejack: Okay, so I'll need to get new quiltin' materials, fabric, needles, thread... You've really been workin' on the same quilt since the first reunion?
Granny Smith: Surely have. I don't think we're ever gonna finish that doggone thing!
Apple Bloom: Hey, what's goin' on here?
Granny Smith: Well, you know us Apples enjoy a good fritter...
[splat]
Half Baked Apple: [licking lips] [munches] Ooo, hot hot hot!
[firetruck's bell ringing]
[apple cider splashes]
[plate clinking]
Apple Split: Hey, where did all them apple fritters go?
Baby Applejack: [munches]
Apple Split: And...
Baby Applejack: [baby noises]
Apple Split: Who are you, little one?
Baby Applejack: I'm Applejack! More apple fwitter?
Granny Smith: That's how we figured out your sister had the appetite of a full-grown stallion.
Applejack: Better get twice as much honey and flour, then... fifty more buckets of apples... more oil... wood for the fire...
Granny Smith: Now, stick an apple in my mouth and roast my rump! This one sure brings back memories. Y'know how Babs is your favorite cousin? Well, Apple Rose is mine. The two of us entered the seven-legged race every reunion!
Young Apple Rose: We're gonna win this one, cousin!
Young Granny Smith: You bet your hot-diggety-derriere we are! C'mon, cousin, speed'er on up!
Young Apple Rose: [yelps] [laughs]
Young Apple Rose and Young Granny Smith: [laughing]
Granny Smith: Never won a single one of them races.
Applejack: Races. We'll need cloth ties, finish line... Not much to a seven-legged race. Hmm...
Granny Smith: And, of course, we can't forget to take the big family photo! We always snapped a photo in front of the barn at the end of every reunion, let's us see how our family's grown!
Applejack: Photo in front of the barn. Got it.
Apple Bloom: You sure have some great memories of these reunions, don'tcha?
Granny Smith: Indeedy, and I'm lookin' forward to makin' more at this one. Oh, I'm sure everypony is, and I do mean everypony! We got the whole family together this time 'round! Who knows if they'll all be able to make the next one?
Applejack: That's true! Busy as everypony's lives are gettin' these days, chances are pretty slim we'll be this lucky next time 'round. Don't worry, Granny, I'm gonna make sure this is the most memorable reunion we've ever had! I'd better get started... I've got some plannin' to do!
Granny Smith: Oh, hootenanny! Would you look what your second cousin is wearin' on her head?
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: [giggling]
[clock pendulum ticking]
Apple Bloom: [groans]
Applejack: Apple Bloom! What are you doin' up?
Apple Bloom: I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Applejack: I can't sleep. My gears are turnin' in my head about this reunion!
Apple Bloom: [yawning] Yeah... I can't wait to see my cousin Babs. We're gonna do so many fun things together...
Applejack: Fun? That's just the beginnin' of it! Granny Smith handed me the reins of this reunion, and I'm gonna make the most of it. Apple Bloom, I've got so many things planned you won't even have a minute's rest!
Apple Bloom: [snoring]
Applejack: Trust me, little sis. This reunion I'm puttin' together is gonna be worth the wait.
Apple Bloom: [snoring]
[rooster crows]
Apple Bloom: [snoring] Whoa!
Applejack: Rise and shine! We don't have much time!
[thump]
[dragging sounds]
[bucking trees, apples falling]
[bees buzzing]
Pinkie Pie: [belches] Don't forget the glitter!
Applejack: [coughs]
[rain falling]
[lightning cracking]
Rainbow Dash: [whistling]
Spike: [clicking noises] [breathes fire]
Applejack: H-ah. Think that'll do it!
Granny Smith: And just in time, too.
[rumbling]
Applejack: They're here!
[ponies shouting]
Granny Smith: Apple Rose! Ohhh! Ooh, this is more excitin' than when it rained frogs!
[microphone feedback]
Applejack: [through megaphone] Howdy, y'all, and welcome to the Apple family reunion!
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: [through megaphone] My name's Applejack, and I just want to let y'all know that I got a real big day planned for ya! We're gonna start off with an obstacle course for the young'uns, and some fritter makin' and quiltin' for the not-so-young'uns. And there's lots more to come after that! Hope y'all enjoy it!
[ponies cheering]
Apple Bloom: Where is she?
Babs Seed: [blows]
Apple Bloom: Babs!
Babs Seed: Cuz!
Apple Bloom: I know it hasn't been that long since we've seen each other, but–
Apple Bloom and Babs Seed: –It felt like forever!
Babs Seed: I can't wait to tell you about my new school!
Apple Bloom: I can't wait to hear all about it!
Babs Seed: Jeepers, where do I start? Okay. So first day–
Applejack: Babs! Huh, so glad you could come!
Babs Seed: What am I, gonna miss out on spendin' time with my favorite cousin? Forget about it! [blows]
Applejack: Why don't you two head over to the obstacle course?
Apple Bloom: We kinda wanna catch up a little bit first...
Applejack: Don't you worry. There'll be plenty of time for family bondin' while you're racin' against your other cousins.
Applejack: Alrighty, ponies! Ready to have some fun?
Babs Seed: Whoa, is that the finish line? It's like a mile away or somethin'!
Applejack: Actually, that's just the marker where you go on to the next leg of the race.
Apple Bloom: There's more?
Applejack: Much more. Trust me, I have put together somethin' you are never gonna forget. After the seven-legged race, you're gonna wanna hurry up and head over here, where you'll be bobbin' for apples!
[splash]
Applejack: Then you'll run around these trees fifty times until you're real good and dizzy. Then you'll jump these big wooden hurdles. And then there's the final leg, where you'll balance plates on your head while sayin' "Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets" over and over and over again. Last pony standin' wins!
[pause]
Apple Bloom: Seriously?
Applejack: Seriously! C'mon, y'all! Let's start makin' some memories! On your mark... get set... go!
Applejack: Whooeee! Lookin' good, everypony! Ooh, better go check on the quilt.
Granny Smith: How long you had those new choppers, Auntie Applesauce?
Auntie Applesauce: A lady never reveals the age of her teeth.
Apple Rose: Ugh.
Auntie Applesauce: Don't you roll your eyes at me, Miss Apple Rose! I imagine you two think I have forgotten what you did to my parasol six reunions ago?
Granny Smith: [giggles] We were just usin' it to help break open that piñata!
Apple Rose and Granny Smith: [laughing]
Auntie Applesauce: Applejack, delightful to see you. Are you gonna join us in some quiltin'?
Applejack: Sorry, Auntie Applesauce, I am busy-busy-busy. Y'all should get started, though!
Granny Smith: We couldn't find our rocking chairs.
Applejack: I got rid of 'em to make room for these. This is the year y'all are finally gonna finish that quilt!
Apple Rose: Finish it?
[engine starting]
[very loud sewing machine rattling]
[Auntie Applesauce's teeth chattering]
Applejack: [over noise] Won't that be excitin'?
Apple Rose: [over noise] What's that?
Applejack: [over noise] I said, won't that be–
[rattling stops]
Applejack: –excitin'?
Auntie Applesauce: I suppose, although I have been told that too much excitement can wreak havoc on this youthful complexion of mine.
Apple Rose: Oh.
Granny Smith: [giggling]
[rattling restarts]
Applejack: [over noise] That's the spirit!
Granny Smith: [over noise] What did she say?
Apple Rose: [over noise] What?
Granny Smith: [over noise] Good gracious!
Apple Rose: [over noise] Golden Delicious? I think he's racing with his cousin!
[dizzy music]
Babs Seed: [dizzy] How are Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?
Apple Bloom: [dizzy] Great! Ugh...
Babs Seed: [dizzy] You alright?
Apple Bloom: [dizzy] So... dizzy... [Wilhelm scream]
[crash]
Apple Bloom: Ugh...
Babs Seed: [sigh]
[splat]
Big McIntosh: [sniffs] [licks lips] [gulps] [whistles innocently]
Apple Dumpling: You've got eight now, dont'cha?
Apple Leaves: Oh, sure do. Tell you what, my Apple Tart may just be a baby, but he is a hoot!
Applejack: Havin' fun?
Apple Leaves: Sure are!
Applejack: Better pick up the pace on those fritters though, huh? Roll, fold, crimp, slide to the left. Roll, fold, crimp, slide to the left. Roll, fold, crimp, slide to the left. Now you try! That's it! Gotta keep this assembly line movin', gals! We want every Apple here to get a chance to taste the best darn fritters in Equestria!
Apple Bloom and Babs Seed: Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets.
Apple Bloom: Any other blank flanks at your new school?
Babs Seed: Yeah. Two.
Apple Bloom and Babs Seed: Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets.
Apple Bloom: Do they wanna be Crusaders?
Babs Seed: Totally!
Apple Bloom: Great!
Apple Bloom and Babs Seed: Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets. Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets. Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets.
Babs Seed: Ah can' thfeel my tongue.
Apple Bloom: Neh nehber.
Applejack: [through megaphone] Alright, Apples, break!
[sewing machine rattling stops]
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Finally...
Applejack: Ooh, can't forget to capture all these memories for Granny's album! Huh. Nothin' all that memorable there. Or there. Or there. C'mon, Applejack, think. You gotta kick this thing up a notch! Hm...
Apple Bloom: I get that my big sis wants this to be like a super-awesome reunion, but that was ridiculous!
Babs Seed: I thought we'd never get a minute to just hang out!
Applejack: And your minute's up! Your fellow Apples are waitin' for you to join them.
Apple Bloom: Applejack, I haven't had any time with Babs! We were so busy with that obstacle course, we didn't even get to talk!
Applejack: There'll be plenty of time to bond with Babs when we do the hayride.
Babs Seed: Hayride?
Applejack: Alright, everypony! Step right up, take a seat, and leave the drivin' to these stallions! Now, I know y'all've been workin' real hard makin' some awesome memories. And in all of our past reunions, we always had a nice and relaxin' hayride around the farm. Which is why I decided to change things up a bit, and try somethin' just a wee bit more excitin'. So let's get this show on the road! Giddy-up!
Stallions: [whinnying]
Ponies: Whoa!
[crunch]
[Auntie Applesauce's teeth chattering]
[chomp]
Auntie Applesauce: [teethless] I just had those professionally polished.
Granny Smith: Where in the world does that girl have us headed? The west orchard?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Granny Smith: What?! I was jokin'! Why, we haven't tended those fields since all the trees went and got filled up with... [gulps]
[thunk]
[fruit bats squeaking]
[ponies oohing and ahhing]
Babs Seed: Wowza! Never seen real fruit bats before!
[ding]
[fruit bat licking lips]
[aeroplane engine noises]
Applejack: Uh-oh.
Auntie Applesauce: [yelps]
[ponies yelping]
Apple Bloom: Everypony! Jump out!!
[crash]
[dust settling]
Applejack: [crying] Ruined. Everythin' is ruined.
[crunch]
Applejack: Oh, Granny. I'm so, so sorry.
Granny Smith: Oh, it's alright, child.
Applejack: But it's not alright. Just look at this! The barn and all my plans for the perfect family reunion are completely destroyed!
Apple Bloom: Maybe that's a good thing.
Applejack: How can that possibly be a good thing?
Granny Smith: Applejack, you had us so caught up in all the doin', we haven't had a second to enjoy the company of the folks we've been doin' it with!
Applejack: Really?
[ponies agreeing]
Applejack: [sighs] Oh, Granny Smith, here you let me be in charge of creatin' great memories, and the only thing anypony's gonna remember about this reunion... is that it was the worst one we ever had.
Granny Smith: Oh, hey now... everypony's still here, ain't they? Still plenty of time to make good memories! You've just got to give everypony a chance to actually make 'em.
Applejack: The family photo! Guess we can't take it in front of the barn this year... unless... Everypony! I have one more activity!
Granny Smith: Applejack...
Applejack: Trust me, Granny Smith. This'll be one we'll remember for all the right reasons.
[Applejack]
Yee-hoo!
Raise this barn, raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Together, we can raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Up, up, up, go the beams
Hammer those joints, work in teams
Turn 'em round quick by the right elbow
Grab a new partner, here we go
Apple family: Yeah!
Applejack: Come on, Apple family! Let's get to it! Wee-hoo!
[Applejack]
Raise this barn, raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Together, we can raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Finish the frame, recycling wood
Workin' hard, you're doin' good
Turn 'em round quick by the right elbow
Grab a new partner, here we go
Apple family: Yeah!
Applejack: Whoo-whee!
[Applejack]
Raise this barn, oh, raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Together, we can raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Slats of wood come off the ground
Hold 'em up and nail 'em down
Turn 'em round quick by the left elbow
Grab a new partner, here we go
Apple family: Yeah!
Applejack: Come on, Apples! Get 'er done!
[Apple Bloom]
Look at us, we're family
[Applejack]
Workin' together thankfully
[Apple Bloom]
We Apples, we are proud to say
[Applejack and Apple Bloom]
Stick together the pony way
[Applejack]
Bow to your partner, circle right
Get down if you're scared of heights
Forward back and twirl around
That barn's gonna be the best in town
Apple family: Yeah!
Applejack: Yee-haw! Attagirl!
Apple Bloom: Alright, let's get to it!
[Apple family]
Raise this barn, raise this barn
One, two, three, four
Together, we can raise this barn
One, two, three, four
[Applejack]
Take your brushes, young and old
Together, paint it, bright and bold
Turn 'em round quick by the left elbow
Grab a new partner, here we go
[Apple family]
We raised this barn, we raised this barn
Yes, we did
Together we sure raised this barn
Yes, we did
Being together counts the most
We all came here from coast to coast
All we need to strive to be
Is part of the Apple family
Apple Bloom: Yeah!
Granny Smith: Oh!
Apple Rose, Auntie Applesauce and Granny Smith: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: I can't wait for the next reunion!
Babs Seed: Me neither!
Apple Bloom: I mean, obviously we have to get together before then!
Babs Seed: [chuckles] Obviously.
Granny Smith: Oh, you did it, Applejack! You put on a reunion that everypony will remember!
Applejack: Just had a couple minor hiccups along the way.
Granny Smith: Yeah, just a couple.
Granny Smith: Ohohoh, that's a good one.
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: Oh!
Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned a great lesson about family, which, if you think about it, is really the first group of friends you ever make. Turns out that when you're with folks you care about, you don't have to do much to make that time memorable. Even the simplest of activities can take on a whole lotta meanin'! And you'll find that you'll remember the "who" long after you've forgotten the "what".
Your humble subject,
Applejack
[music]
[credits]

Spike at Your Service

Spike: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. That's not that many.
Spike: Are you kidding? How are you supposed to read twelve books in one weekend?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia obviously thinks I can or she would never have assigned them to me. I'm not planning on letting her down.
Spike: Well, I hope you're not planning on sleeping then, either.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Spike, why don't you take the day off?
Spike: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Why not? These books are gonna keep me busy for a while.
Spike: Hmm... I do have a long list of things I've been dying to do!
Spike: "Touch nose with tongue." Eeeng... done! "Play bongos on my belly."
[bongo drum sounds]
Spike: Done! "Smell my dirty feet." [sniffs] [sigh] Done! Huh, that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would.
[theme song]
Spike: What to do, what to do...
[cat yowling]
Spike: [gasps] A hot air balloon ride!
[thump]
Spike: [gasps] Oh no! Wait! Runaway balloon! Gah!
[boing]
Spike: [groans] Sorry!
[wheels rattling noisily]
Spike: [yelps]
[screeching]
Spike: [relieved sigh] That was a close one. I-if I didn't know better, I would swear that I was in the middle of the dark and scary Everfree Forest.
[twig snaps]
Spike: [yelps] What was that?! C'mon, Spike. Just because this forest is full of wild dangerous animals, doesn't mean that you're gonna see one! Hehe...[sniffs] [grunts]
[timberwolves growling]
Spike: [screams]
[timberwolves barking]
Applejack: Come 'n' get me, ya big goons! [to Spike] Run!
Spike: I'm running! I'm running!
[barking]
Spike: [yelping]
Applejack: Whew!
Spike: Wow, Applejack! That was amazing! I mean, you rocketed those boulders at them like they were... rockets! Pow, pow, pow pow pow! You saved my life! [softly] You... saved... my life.
Applejack: Aw, don't mention it, Spike. C'mon, we should be headin' on back, now.
Spike: Man, am I lucky you were out here. Uh, why were you out here?
Applejack: Saw the balloon floatin' by with nopony in it, came out here to investigate. Guess you did too, huh?
Spike: Uh... yeah... I was investigating the runaway hot air balloon too! So, uh, now that the mystery's been solved, let's get outta here, huh?
[distant howling]
Applejack: Thanks for walkin' me home, Spike. That was mighty kind of you. But now I have chores that need tendin' to, so see you later.
Spike: What chores? I'll do them!
Applejack: That's sweet, but you don't have–
Spike: It's the least I can do! You saved my life! I need to repay the favor.
Applejack: Shoot, Spike, that's what friends do for each other. You don't need to repay the favor.
Spike: Yes, I do!
Applejack: Sugar, it's okay, it's not necessary.
Spike: Applejack, you don't understand! This is something I really need to do!
Applejack: Well, I'd hate to get in the way of doin' somethin' you need to do...
Spike: Great! What should I do?
Applejack: Uh... Apple Bloom's over yonder givin' little Piggington a bath. I was gonna lend her a hoof, but maybe you could lend her one instead.
Spike: On the double!
Spike: Applejack said I could help you!
[pig snorts]
Apple Bloom: Great! I could use all the help I can get!
[thud]
Spike: Heh, wait 'til Applejack sees how you sparkle!
[pig squealing]
Spike: Ta-da!
[pig oinks]
Applejack: Good job, you two.
Apple Bloom: Applejack, is it okay if I get goin'? I don't wanna be late for my Crusaders meeting. We're gettin' fitted for water skis!
Applejack: Heh, you definitely don't wanna be late for that.
Apple Bloom: Water skiin' cutie mark, here I come!
Applejack: Spike, you can head on out too. I reckon you have repaid me in full so we are officially even Steven.
Spike: What? Ohhh no. We aren't even close to being even Steven! Please, Applejack, you must allow me to assist you further!
Applejack: I dunno, Spike. Just don't feel right to have you, uh, doin' things for me.
Spike: Please?
Applejack: Really, you don't–
Spike: Pretty please?
Applejack: It's just not necessary–
Spike: Pretty pretty pretty please?
Applejack: [sigh] Oh, all right. You can help Granny Smith and me bake some–
Spike: Pies! Pies! I'm helping Applejack make some pies!
Granny Smith: Uh, Spike, little feller, could you get us some more eggs?
Spike: Coming right up! [sounds of exertion]
[crash]
Spike: Uh, oops, sorry, Applejack. Lemme get something to clean that up!
[thud, splash]
[poof]
[splat]
Applejack: [sighs] Appreciate all your help today, sugarcube, but... I can take it from here.
Spike: Don't be ridiculous! It is my honor and my duty! Today's just the beginning!
Applejack: What's that now?
Spike: You saved my life! [belches] According to the "Spike the Dragon Code", I owe you a life debt and must serve you.
Granny Smith: Now, what about Twilight? Doesn't she need your help and such?
Spike: [breathes fire] Huh, you're right. I better break the news to Twilight. I just hope she doesn't take it too hard... Be right back!
[splat]
Spike: Come on, Spike, this is your personal, moral, ethical dragon code we're talking about! You have to do this! It's not like you and Twilight won't be friends anymore... but it won't be the same... but it has to be done. Twilight, Applejack just saved my life from horrible, dragon-eating timberwolves!
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm...
Spike: And, as you are aware, I adhere to my dragon code, and this means I must serve her for the rest of my natural born days! I'm sure you understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm...
Spike: It's... been an honor... being your faithful assistant.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good.
Spike: [sighs]
Spike: She said it was okay.
Applejack and Granny Smith: Really?
Spike: So, with Twilight's blessing, I'm free to follow my code and serve you until–
[crash]
Spike: Well, until forever!
Applejack: Listen, sugarcube, I completely respect your "dragon code"... Truly I do, but I just can't cotton with you permanently servin' me.
Spike: Please, Applejack, my dragon code is a part of me! I have to be true to myself! If you don't let me do this, I won't be a noble dragon anymore!
Applejack: Oh, well, I can't have you feelin' like you're not a noble dragon now, can I?
Spike: Great! Then from here on in, your wish is my command.
[pause]
Applejack: Oh, uh, okay... I would like you to... hmm... huh... oh! ...Help me take some of the pie you made to...
Spike: Rarity?
Applejack: Uh, sure, why not?
Spike: I helped bake it.
Rarity: Eugh.
Applejack: [squeaks neck]
Rarity: [chewing]
Spike: You even look good when you're chewing... [laughs nervously] W-who looks good when they're chewing?
Rarity: [spits]
Spike: Aren't you gonna have some more?
Rarity: I... had a big lunch!
Spike: It's ten in the morning.
Rarity: Breakfast. A big breakfast.
Spike: Ohhh. Okay.
Applejack: Maybe you could take her plate back to the kitchen and wash it off?
Spike: As you wish!
Rarity: What was that all about?
Applejack: [sighs] I saved Spike from some timberwolves in the Everfree Forest, and now he thinks he has to serve me forever.
Rarity: [delighted squeal] Oh, what I wouldn't give to have somepony forever in my debt! I'd get them to organize my closets, and give me pedicures, and help me with my sewing and–
Applejack: Okay, I get it, havin' somepony to do things for you would be a dream come true. But I don't feel right havin' Spike thinkin' he owes me somethin'. You tasted that pie. Sometimes, his help isn't that helpful.
[crash]
Spike: Do you... have a broom I could borrow?
[soap bubbles bubbling]
Rainbow Dash: AJ, Rarity, what's happening?
Rarity: Applejack saved Spike's life and now he has to serve her forever.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! What are you having him do? Wash your laundry? Clean your room? Help you with your unfinished novel? Mine's about this awesome Pegasus who's the best flyer ever and becomes the captain of the Wonderbolts!
Rarity: [sarcastic] How ever did you come up with that ingeniously woven intricate plot line?
Rainbow Dash: Just came to me.
Applejack: Thing is, I don't really want him to serve me forever, but I don't know how to get him to stop.
Rainbow Dash: That's easy! Just make him help you with something really, really hard.
Applejack: I dunno. I don't want him to get hurt.
Rainbow Dash: Puh-lease. He'll quit way before there's even a chance of getting hurt!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: [hushed, to Applejack] Leave this to me. [to Spike] Sooo, Spike, Applejack was gonna help me stack some hay so I could practice smashing through it, but I'm feeling extra, extra powerful today.
Applejack: You are?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I am. So instead of hay, I'm gonna smash through rocks!
Spike: Rocks?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A huge tower of rocks! And you're gonna build it!
Spike: I am?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I mean, unless you don't wanna help Applejack...
Spike: I do! It is Spike's dragon code!
Rainbow Dash: Then get to it! [to Applejack] Trust me. This is gonna work like a charm!
Spike: [sounds of exertion]
Rainbow Dash: Huh. I was sure he'd give up after, like, three rocks.
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness. If it'd been me, I'd have just pretended I didn't have anything for him to do.
Applejack: Why didn't I think of that?
Spike: [yelling] Is this high enough?
Applejack: That's plenty high! Come on down, Spike!
Rainbow Dash: Bad news: He actually ended up building the whole rock tower. Good news... [nervously] I've got a rock tower to knock down.
Spike: Haha, yeah! You can do it! Haha, hahah, alright, yeah!
[crash]
Spike: That... was... awesome!
[thud]
Spike: Wanna do it again, Rainbow Dash? Applejack can rebuild it for you. And when I say "Applejack", I of course mean me!
Rainbow Dash: [dazed] Sure! Why not...?
Applejack: No! I mean, I don't think Rainbow Dash needs any more of your help. My help. She doesn't need it. Right, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Bbbbrrr. Yeah. I guess I'm good. For now.
Applejack: And so am I! I just can't think of one more thing I need help with, so you don't have to do anything else.
[thud]
Spike: W-What do you mean you can't think of anything else I can help with?
Applejack: Exactly that! There's nothin' else. I don't want you to do anything.
Spike: If I don't help you, how will I know I'm a noble dragon?
Applejack: Well, I–
Spike: Maybe there's things you need help with, but you don't even realize you need help with!
Fluttershy: If she needed help, I think she'd realize it.
Spike: Maybe not! Maybe Applejack needs help realizing what she needs help with. Like... maybe your back itches!
Applejack: Huuuuh... that does feel... good...
Spike: [laughs] See? Or you might need help remembering your favorite song! "The dragon is the finest creature ever, there's more to him than just guarding treasure..."
Fluttershy: I don't think that's her favorite s–
Spike: Or... you might need help breathing!
Applejack: Breathin'? I certainly do not–
[bellows pumping]
[air being let out of balloon]
Spike: See? There are plenty of things I can help you with, and you don't even have to trouble yourself with thinking of them!
Applejack: No, I'll think of 'em. Lemme think of 'em.
Spike: As you wish.
Applejack: Twilight? Twilight, are you there? Twilight!
[clatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Agh!
Applejack: Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] No, it's okay, I need to take a break anyway. What's going on?
Applejack: I know Spike told you that he was gonna follow his dragon code, and serve me forever for savin' him from the timberwolves, and that you were okay with it, but–
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, what?
Applejack: He said he told you all about it. I'm guessin' maybe you were a little distracted when he told you.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, maybe a little...
Applejack: I should've realized you wouldn't have let him go so easily. Well, now that you know what's goin' on, maybe you could talk some sense into him!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Applejack, I wish I could, but this is dragon code we're talking about. Surely you know how important the dragon code is to a dragon!
Applejack: I sure am startin' to.
Twilight Sparkle: Hm, there's only one other way Spike is gonna fulfill the debt he feels he owes you.
Spike: Seventy, seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four, seventy-five...
Applejack: All right, y'all, here's the deal. Spike needs to save my life.
Pinkie Pie: And you want us to shoot you out of a cannon towards a hornet's nest and give Spike a butterfly net so he can catch you mere seconds before you hit the nest and are stung by a thousand angry hornets! I'll wear this mustache.
Applejack: No. I am gonna be attacked by a timberwolf!
Rest of main cast: [gasping]
Pinkie Pie: Can I still wear the mustache?
Applejack: When I give the signal, Pinkie Pie and Rarity will come runnin' out of the woods, bein' pursued by the timberwolf. I'll start to run too, but then pretend to get my hoof stuck. I'll ask Spike to help me dislodge it, and he will, and I'll be able to get away from the terrifyin' timberwolf! Havin' saved me from certain doom, Spike will then consider us even. Everybody get it?
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll do my best.
Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Pinkie Pie: Just one question.
Applejack: Yes? [beat] No.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Suit yourself.
[crash]
Rarity: [clears throat] We are all ready to play our parts, ahem, but are you sure you are ready to play yours, Applejack?
Applejack: What d'you mean?
Rarity: Show us your best "damsel in distress" move.
Applejack: Uh... Oh, well, aheh, how's this? Hooooooo.
Rarity: Absolutely horrendous! Okay, this needs some serious work! Now, first, you must lift your foreleg up to your forehead, like so–
Spike: [in distance] Applejack?
Applejack: No time! Here he comes! Uh... over here, Spike!
Spike: [pants] You said you had something else you needed me to do?
Applejack: Oh, yes, I, I was just hopin' you could maybe, uh, sweep up all those leaves for a compost pile, and–
Spike: But of course. Oh, by the way, there are exactly twenty-four million, five hundred and sixty-seven thousand, eight hundred and thirty seven blades of grass at Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack: I can't believe you counted every single one of 'em...
Spike: You asked me to.
Rainbow Dash: [inhales]
Spike: And, as a noble dragon and follower of my dragon code, I–
Rainbow Dash: [roars like a timberwolf]
Fluttershy: That was very convincing!
Rarity: [screaming] Timberwolf! [sobbing] We are doomed!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Rarity: [to Applejack] See? Like that.
[wood clacking]
[wood stomping]
Rainbow Dash: [quietly laughing] [roars like a timberwolf]
Applejack: [unconvincingly] Oh no! I seem to have got my hoof caught in between two rocks! I cannot run away! I am a damsel in distress! Help me, Spike!
Spike: Wait a minute.
Applejack: No, no, don't wait a minute. Save me from the terrifyin' timberwolf!
Spike: Well, he would be terrifying if he wasn't a fake! You got the clomping on his claws...
[string snapping]
Spike: ...The roar was spot on, and the detail on his face is pretty good. But you forgot one thing: his breath! You could smell a real timberwolf's breath from a mile– [sniffs] [laughs] Too late, I'm already on–
[magical poof]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: Timberwolf!
[wolf snorts]
[timberwolves roaring]
Spike: Timberwolf!
[barking]
[crunching]
Applejack: Whooooah!
[crash]
Applejack: Ow!
[wolf howling in distance]
[wood clicking]
Spike: Uh oh... Applejack, come on!
Applejack: [grunting] I can't! I'm really stuck!
Spike: No more messing around! Let's go!
Applejack: [grunting] Come on...
[giant timberwolf roaring]
Applejack: Forget it, Spike! You gotta get out of here! Would you just forget your dragon code already and go?!
Spike: No! I have to save you!
[crunch]
[giant timberwolf choking]
Spike: Let's get out of here! [grunts]
[giant timberwolf coughing]
[crash]
Applejack and Spike: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: What happened to you guys back there? Thought you were right behind us!
Applejack: My hoof was stuck, and that timberwolf was coming right at me!
Rarity: Wait, you were actually stuck?
Spike: Uh-huh!
Applejack: But Spike picked up a pebble, and rocketed that thing right at the huge timberwolf's mouth, and saved my life!
Spike: Aw, it was nothing.
Applejack: It was somethin' alright! 'Course, I wouldn't've needed help if I hadn't been tryin' to stage a fake timberwolf attack in the first place.
Spike: Yeah, what was that all about?
Applejack: [sighs] I know this code thing's important to you, but if somethin' like this comes up in the future, think maybe we can go back to my code, say "that's what friends do" and leave it at that? I promise I won't think of you as any less noble.
Spike: Sounds good to me. But, maybe let's just try to avoid situations where one of us actually needs the other one to save their life?
Applejack: You got yourself a deal.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike.
Spike: Happy to help!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't know what I'd do without you.
Spike: No, really! I'm really really really happy to help you!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] Oh...
[music]
[credits]

Keep Calm and Flutter On

Pinkie Pie: I love it when Princess Celestia comes to Ponyville! I got my hooves shined just like Rarity for the occasion. Ya like?
Rarity: I certainly do!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm surprised she's not here yet.
Spike: [sighs] I wonder what's taking so long?
Twilight Sparkle: And where are Applejack and Fluttershy?
Rarity: Fluttershy's detained helping Applejack with a mishap at Sweet Apple Acres. They'll be along.
Spike: But, I still don't get why the Princess would be so late.
Twilight Sparkle: She's bringing an important visitor. That could be part of it.
Rainbow Dash: A visitor who's important and slow.
Rarity: Maybe it's somepony so terribly important, she still had many more terribly important things to do before she got here.
Spike: [gasp] Maybe the visitor has a deer antler, a goat leg, a bat wing, and a snake tail!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, right. That's Discord.
Rarity: Why in the wide, wide world of Equestria would Princess Celestia bring along someone like that?
Spike: M-m-maybe you should ask... her!
Rarity: Huh?
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: With all due respect, Princess Celestia, how could you bring Discord here?! [clears throat] Your majesty.
Princess Celestia: I'm fully aware that the last time Discord was here, he created serious havoc.
Rainbow Dash: If by "serious havoc" you mean "turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world"...
Rarity: ...and tricking us all into being the opposite of our true selves...
Pinkie Pie: And making yummy delicious chocolate milk rain all over the place without a single dollop of whipped cream to go with it anywhere in sight! Not a single dollop!
Princess Celestia: Yes, I understand. But I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed to serve good instead of evil. This is why I've brought Discord here, because I believe that you are the ponies who can help him do just that.
Spike: This will never work! This is a disaster! How will we ever control him?! We're doomed!
Princess Celestia: Need I remind you that you are the ponies who turned him back into stone like this in the first place?
Twilight Sparkle: I suppose we can just use the Elements of Harmony against him again if it gets out of hand.
Spike: Uh, w-w-we probably need a volunteer to run away from here right away to get them. I'll do it!
Princess Celestia: No need, Spike. I have them right here, and I've cast a spell so Discord can't take them and hide them again. Now where is Fluttershy? I believe she may know best how to begin reforming Discord.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy? Really?
[beaver chittering]
Applejack: What's he goin' on about now?
Fluttershy: Good news. Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth has agreed to take his dam apart and move it.
Applejack: Well, it's about time. My apple trees are so waterlogged, I can practically hear 'em gargle!
[beaver loudly complaining]
Fluttershy: But he says first you'll have to apologize for calling him "a nuisance".
Applejack: Apologize? He's lucky I didn't call him a varmint!
[beaver loudly complaining]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth! Such language!
Applejack: Fine, fine. I apologize.
[beaver blowing raspberry]
Applejack: [growls]
[logs tumbling]
[splash]
Applejack: [sighs] Thanks, Fluttershy. Don't know what I would've done without you.
Fluttershy: Glad I could help.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, slackers! Double time it on over to Ponyville, would ya?! We're all waiting on you!
Princess Celestia: I realize that this is a tall order, but I wouldn't ask if I weren't confident you could get him to use magic obediently of his own free will.
Fluttershy: And... you really think I'll know best how to do that?
Princess Celestia: I do. Now, I must return to Canterlot for Equestria's royal summit. You may release Discord when ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, ponies, guess it's time to get started. Let's just hope this releasing spell works.
Spike: Or... let's not.
Twilight Sparkle: We'd best keep our elements on at all times 'til further notice.
Rest of main cast: Check!
[magical warbling]
[rock cracking]
Discord: [screaming] [yawns] Oh! Ooh! Ooooh! Well, it's about time somepony got me out of that prison block. What a relief! [snaps fingers]
[twig snaps]
Main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: What do you think you're doing?!
Discord: Nnnnnnnnngh– Why, stretching, of course. When you're a creature of chaos, stone bodysuits aren't your typical go-to fashion choice. Nnngh... [snaps fingers]
[discorded bunny screeches]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Make that bunny cute again! Now!
Discord: Oh... [sniggers] He's adorable the way he is.
[bunny chomps]
Discord: [blows raspberry] You know what else is adorable? You ponies truly believe that you can reform me, and that you're putting your faith in this one here to make it happen. Makes me wanna pinch your little horsey cheeks...
Twilight Sparkle: How'd you know about that?!
Discord: Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says. Although I admit it makes rolling my eyes a challenge.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, unless you want us to turn you back to stone, you'll zap those animals back the way they were, pronto!
Discord: Oh, you wouldn't dare turn me back to stone and risk disappointing your precious princess.
Rainbow Dash: Try us, "Dip-cord"!
Fluttershy: You think you can treat poor defenseless animals like that and get away with it?!
Rainbow Dash: You go, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: You'd best watch your step, buster, or I'll give you... the Stare!
Discord: [sarcastically] The Stare? Oh no, please, not that! Anything but your disapproving eyeballs! [laughs] Oh no! No no no, stop! No, no! [strangled noises] I can't! Stop! I can't take it anymore! I'll do whatever you say! Because... [laughs] You are hilarious! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: If it turns out we need to use our elements against you, I'm sure we can convince Princess Celestia it was for a good reason!
Discord: Mmm... I suppose that's correct. [snaps fingers]
[bunny chittering]
Discord: [snaps fingers on tail]
[beavers chittering]
Discord: [to audience, under his breath] Oopsie! [normally] Well, it looks like I know where I'll be crashing while I'm being "reformed"... With you, Fluttershy. [laughs]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear.
Fluttershy: He may be horrible, but that doesn't mean we have to act the same way. We should at least try to be hospitable. [to Angel] You don't mind giving up your favorite spot on the couch, do you, Angel Bunny?
Angel: [angry squeaking]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sorry about Angel. Are you alright?
Discord: Oh, yes. Thank you, Fluttershy, for your concern. If only your pony friends could be as considerate...
Rainbow Dash: Don't listen to him, Fluttershy! He's just trying to drive a wedge between us like he always does.
Discord: Now why in the world would I ever try to do a thing like that?
Rainbow Dash: So we can't unite and use the Elements of Harmony against you, that's why!
Discord: I never thought of that...
Rainbow Dash: You big liar!
Discord: Now, look who's a liar. Anyone can plainly see that I'm not big at all.
[crash]
Discord: Oops. [snaps fingers] There, all better. [cracks tail like a whip]
Applejack: I can't watch...
Rainbow Dash: We'll be outside.
Twilight Sparkle: You sure you're okay with this?
Fluttershy: I know it's not gonna be easy, but Princess Celestia's counting on me. And... I think I actually know what to do.
Twilight Sparkle: You do?
Angel Bunny: [angry squeaking, continues under]
Fluttershy: I think the key is to befriend him. Being kind to him and letting him be my house guest is probably the best way to do that.
Twilight Sparkle: And you really think that'll work?
Fluttershy: I think it's worth a try.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, but if you need us, all you need to do is whisper "help", and we'll be back here with our elements. [to Discord] So watch that goat-legged step of yours, pal!
Discord: Wh-what?! Look at me! I'm practically reformed already.
[door closes]
Rarity: She's really alright with him staying there?
Twilight Sparkle: That's what she said.
Rainbow Dash: Personally, I think we should come up with a backup plan, in case this whole "befriending" business doesn't work out.
Rarity: Rainbow Dash is right. This is Discord we are talking about, girls. It wouldn't be a bad idea to have another trick up our sleeves.
Twilight Sparkle: And I think I know just the trick.
Fluttershy: Discord? Oh, there you are. Listen, Discord, I just want to make sure you know that if there's anything I can do to– uh, umm, are you eating... paper?
Discord: [gulp] Am I? Huh, how odd of me. [chews]
Fluttershy: Well, um... I'm just heading out, so you just make yourself at home while I'm gone.
Discord: Buh-bye, have a nice time! Everything is fine here. Bye bye... Bye bye...
[door shuts]
Discord: You like carrots, Angel? I'm playing your owner for a fool! [laughs] How d'ya like them carrots?
Angel: [screams]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[pages turning]
Twilight Sparkle: That's weird. The spell I had in mind isn't in here. Spike, where are the other books I asked you to pull?
Spike: Right here, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I really want to have a reforming spell up and running pronto.
Spike: But what if he makes the Elements of Harmony disappear like he did last time?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia cast a spell protecting them, remember? Uh-oh.
[books thudding]
Spike: What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia didn't cast a spell protecting our books! Everywhere I thought I'd find the reforming spell... [gasps]
[rumbling]
Discord: [eating] Are you sure this isn't overdoing it? You said to make myself at home while you were gone, but I wouldn't want to overstep my bounds.
Fluttershy: Nngh... I did say that, so... if this makes you more comfortable... by all means, please feel free.
Discord: Oh. Well, it does, very much so. You're so very kind, my dear Fluttershy. I always knew that you were the understanding one, not like those nasty friends of yours.
Angel: [Wilhelm scream]
Fluttershy: [gasps] My friends aren't nasty!
Discord: Well, of course you'd say that. It just goes to show how understanding you truly are. You know, I think Princess Celestia is right when she singled you out as the one who could reform me. You're off to such a good start, I'm seriously considering actually being reformed. [under previous: blows raspberry]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! Fluttershy, can you hear me?
Fluttershy: Goodness! I hear Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, what's going on? Are you okay?!
Fluttershy: We're fine. Everything's going great. Isn't it, Angel?
Angel: [chitters dizzily]
Twilight Sparkle: We've come to get you away from Discord! He's just terrible and, from the looks of it, completely out of control!
Fluttershy: Oh, but you're wrong! We're making great progress!
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Seriously?!
Fluttershy: I'm earning his trust by giving him a little space to be himself.
Spike: Hate to break it to ya, but he used that "space to be himself" to tear out all the reforming spells from the library!
Fluttershy: That does explain the paper eating...
Twilight Sparkle: He ate them?! Ugggghhhh!
Fluttershy: But we aren't gonna need a spell. He's already really considering being reformed! He said so.
Twilight Sparkle: And you believed him?
Fluttershy: If I'm going to be his friend, I have to start by giving him the benefit of the doubt! Tell you what. Bring all the ponies over for a dinner party this evening, and I'll bet his manners will have really improved by then. I'll even get him to put the cottage back on the ground first.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Alright. Dinner it is.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, I can't believe we're having a dinner party with Discord!
Rarity: This evening is sure to be a disaster. Glad I didn't bother wearing my fanciest outfit.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy thinks this is the way to reform Discord and asked us to give it a chance.
[door opens]
Discord: Oh, our pony guests! [upper class voice] We're so delighted that you've come. Please, do come in.
Fluttershy: See what a beautiful job he did helping? Discord set the entire table himself. I'm so proud.
Discord: May I take your... [clears throat] hats, ladies?
Twilight Sparkle: Hang on to your elements, girls. It's gonna be a bumpy night.
Fluttershy: As you all know, Princess Celestia hoped we'd help Discord use his magic for good instead of evil.
[splat]
Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie, care for some gravy?
Pinkie Pie: You bet!
Discord: Allow me.
[magic pop]
[animate gravy boat panting like a dog]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, what a cute little gravy boat you are! Yes you are! Yes you are!
Rainbow Dash: That's one creepy little gravy boat if you ask me.
Fluttershy: Oh, come on now, Dashie. You're not even giving this a chance.
[pouring]
Rainbow Dash: Hey! That's hot!
Discord: Whoops! [chuckles] I'm so sorry!
Rainbow Dash: He did that on purpose!
Discord: Oh, well, I don't know about that. Mistakes happen. Oh, look, everypony, dancing candles!
Rainbow Dash: I'm not falling for that! Discord's just trying to distract us from–
[poking noises]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] Hey! Knock it off! I suppose that's another "mistake"?
Discord: No, I think you just made them mad.
Twilight Sparkle: There's something fishy going on.
[splashes]
Fluttershy: Discord?
Discord: Well, it's hardly my fault if the soup tureen finds the term "something fishy" to be offensive.
Rarity: Not the dress! Not the dress!
[splashes]
Applejack: That tureen's only doin' what you're makin' it do!
Fluttershy: Now let's not jump to any conclusions.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! Can't you see what he's doing? He's playing innocent with you so you'll never agree to use the Elements of Harmony against him!
[splash]
Discord: Oh, well, that's a bit harsh, isn't it?
Rainbow Dash: You see what I'm saying, right, Fluttershy? Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: You know what I see? I see that Discord's far from perfect, but I also see none of you giving him a chance!
Rest of main cast: [complaints]
Rainbow Dash: What's gotten into you?! Why do you keep cutting him so much slack?
Fluttershy: Because that's what friends do.
Discord: We're friends?
Fluttershy: Why, of course! I can't remember my house ever being this lively before you came along.
Discord: Oh... Well, I've... never really had a friend before.
Fluttershy: Well, now you do!
[window opening]
Angel: [worried chittering]
Fluttershy: Now is not a good time, Angel. We're having a dinner party.
Applejack: Hold up! I-I think he's tryin' to tell us somethin'!
[glass clinking]
[splashing]
Main cast sans Fluttershy: Apple!
Main cast sans Fluttershy and Applejack: Applejack!
[dragging sound]
[splash]
Rarity: Oh, oh, oh! Sweet Apple Acres?
Rainbow Dash: Flooding at Sweet Apple Acres! And we all know who's behind that now, don't we?!
Discord: Who, me?
[ding]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, give it a rest! What do you think of your "friend" now, Fluttershy?
[splashing]
Applejack: I've never seen the floodin' this bad! They've built dams 'round here before, but never like this! What's goin' on?
[beaver chittering]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Such language! [sighs] It's no use. They won't listen to a word I say!
Rainbow Dash: You see Discord's behind all this, right?
Fluttershy: Oh, of course I do! Do you all think I'm a silly, gullible fool?
Rarity:
Only in the sense
of being silly and gullible...
Pinkie Pie:
Um, well...
Applejack:
Uh... uh, no, not exactly...
Fluttershy: I've just been trying to gain his friendship any way I can, so he'd come to trust and listen to me!
Discord: Hey there, Fluttershy, you want a turn? The water's great!
Fluttershy: Time to see if it worked.
Discord: Fluttershy, oh, there you are. A sight for sore eyes.
Fluttershy: As you can see, there's a big mess down here at Sweet Apple Acres.
Discord: Oh, yes. Awful business, that. Mm.
Fluttershy: It is awful. This is Applejack's home, and it's being destroyed by innocent creatures who would never be acting this way if it weren't for your reckless behavior. You need to fix this.
Discord: Oh, yes, very well, I will fix it. I only ask one thing in return.
Fluttershy: Yes?
Discord: I ask that you never use your Element of Harmony against me. As a sign of our friendship.
[necks squeaking]
Fluttershy: I will never use my Element of Harmony against you.
Discord: Excellent! [snaps fingers] There, much better! I do prefer ice skating to water skiing! Don't you? [humming]
[nonexistent crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: Discord! That's not fixing it! Why, I oughta...
Discord: Where are you going? What's wrong, pal?
Fluttershy: Don't call me your pal!
Discord: Oh, pfft, come skating with me, and we'll let bygones be bygones.
Spike: Here you go, Fluttershy! Game on!
Twilight Sparkle: He fixes this or he goes back to being stone! Princess Celestia will understand!
[suspenseful pause]
Fluttershy: I made a promise not to use my element against him, and I'm going to keep it.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Discord: Hahah! You see? She wants to have fun with me because we're friends. She can't use the elements against me because we're friends. I'm free forever! [laughs]
Fluttershy: [growls] Not. Your. Friend!
Discord: Who cares? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm Discord, the master of chaos! You think you can boss Discord around? You think I'm just going to turn all this back because you say so? Because if I don't, I'll lose the one friend I ever had? [pause] Oh. Oh. Well played, Fluttershy. Well played.
[magic noises]
Main cast sans Fluttershy: [cheering]
Discord: I like it better my way, but... I guess when you're friends, you can't always have things exactly your way all the time, eh?
Discord: Yes, Princess, I'm ready to use my magic for good instead of evil. [under his breath] Most of the time.
Princess Celestia: Congratulations on your success, ponies. I definitely sense a big change in Discord. [to Twilight] I'll leave the Elements of Harmony with you, Twilight. Just in case.
Twilight Sparkle: You were right when you said Fluttershy would be the one to find the way to reform Discord. By treating Discord as a friend, she got him to realize that friendship was actually important to him. And something that, once he had, he didn't want to lose.
Fluttershy: Go on. Say it...
Discord: [groans] Alright. [quickly] Friendship is magic.
Fluttershy: See? He can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him.
[music]
[credits]

Just for Sidekicks

Spike: [humming] [singing] Spike is great...making a jewel cake... [chewing]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Me, that's who. [singing] Been saving up my gems so fine... for a cake that is divine... [chewing]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Who are you hooing at?
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: I know, they're delicious.
[jewels rattling]
Spike: Now you see 'em, now you don't. [chewing] [belches] Mm! [singing] This is how you make a jewel cake: stir in some gems, and then you bake. [chewing] Mm-hmm! Gonna, eat, eat it up! Gonna– [gasps] What happened to all my jewels?! [drums claws] I had a bowl full of them here, and now I don't! Which means somebody took 'em!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Who? That's what I'm asking, who?! Who took my jewels?! Oh. I'm who. This cake was gonna be so good! Why? [thump] Why?! [gulps] Whyyyyyyyyy???!!!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
[theme song]
Spike: [singing] I have no jewels... I have no cake... I'm a sad little dragon... With nothing to–
[knock on door]
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: ...is it?
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Oh! Oh goodness, I-I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Spike: Well... I do have this cake to not bake...
Fluttershy: Oh... sorry, it's a bad time.
Spike: Uh, inside joke. Talk to me.
Fluttershy: It's just that... Princess Cadance needs us to do a great job welcoming the Head of the Equestria Games when she visits the Crystal Empire tomorrow–
Spike: Oh, I know all about that. As if I wouldn't be any help at welcoming...
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't know what was I thinking. Of course you might be upset for not being invited, and... here I am coming to ask you for a favor. You were probably going to say no anyway. All I had to offer you in exchange was one little jewel.
Spike: What was that?
Fluttershy: [yelps] All I have is this jewel.
Spike: [slurp] That's a really big one. A really big, juicy, perfect-for-a-cake-topper jewel.
Fluttershy: Does this mean you'll do it?
Spike: Yeah... Sure...
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you, thank you! So while I'm gone, you'll take care of Angel, and tomorrow is Tuesday, which is his tail-fluffing day, and it's really important for him to look good.
Spike: Wait, what? You want me to take care of him?
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Fluttershy: Oh, well, yes. But if it's too much trouble, I can always see if there is somepony else.
Spike: Uhh... We already agreed on the whole jewel thing, so I'll just...
Fluttershy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Angel, aren't you just so excited?
Angel: [distressed squeaking]
Fluttershy: See you tomorrow.
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: You know... She's not the only pony with a pet that might need some watching...
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: All I'm saying is, if Fluttershy thought that her beloved little friend shouldn't be left alone while you're busy in the Crystal Empire, then maybe that's just something to think about.
[gems clinking]
Rainbow Dash: Tch! Tank's not some fuzzy little bunny. He can take care of himself.
[thwack]
[thudding]
Rainbow Dash: He's a strong, fearless, and totally together pet.
[crash]
[apples rolling]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[gyrocopter restarts]
[crunch]
Spike: [whistles innocently]
Rainbow Dash: Alright. You can watch him, but only because... uh... Tank's got a strict flying regimen, and-and someone needs to make sure that he doesn't slack off while I'm gone.
Tank: [licking]
Rarity: Ohh! [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: You know... the two of us are very diligent.
Spike: Okay, whatever.
Rarity: Yes, yes, more importantly, as for Opal, she likes to eat every thirty six and a half minutes, you groom her with her silken brush, head to toe...
[scribbling]
Rarity: ...Oh, and don't forget to pooch her pillow out in the middle, that's where she likes it. And the temperature in the room should always be exactly eighty one point four degrees. That's the only way she can get to sleep.
Opalescence: [purring]
[scribbling]
[feather spontaneously combusting]
Rarity: And, um... hmm... oh, good, so thanks for your help and good luck to you.
Rainbow Dash: A-hem... I think the dragon was expecting a little something for his efforts.
[gem sparkling]
Spike: Almost as beautiful as the pony who gave it to me...
Rainbow Dash: Shouldn't you be critter-proofing the library or something? Tank has a tendency to–
[thud]
Opalescence: [yowls]
[crash]
Spike: Critter-proofing. Yeah, I'll get right on that. [chuckles] Three down, three to go.
Spike: What's that you said, Gummy? Uh-huh. Well, you're just gonna have to ask Pinkie Pie about that one.
[sproing]
Pinkie Pie: Ask me, ask me!
Spike: Go ahead, ask her!
[boing]
Pinkie Pie: Of course you can have another cupcake! Mm? Mm-hm? Yeah? Why didn't you say so? I'll get you a bigger pond immediately.
Spike: I think what Gummy's trying to say is–
Pinkie Pie: He's always wanted a pair of riding pants? His toenails need a new coat of shellac? He wants to floss twice a day instead of just once? [giggles]
Spike: I think what Gummy's trying to say is that he'd like a little Spike time.
Pinkie Pie: Who wouldn't?! Spike time is the best!
Spike: Alas, it doesn't come cheap.
Rainbow Dash: All I'm saying is you might wanna think about a helmet. You only want to get hit in the head by a flying turtle... once.
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: A thousand plus carats of pure deliciousness...
[doing]
Spike: [slurp]
Applejack: Looks like you got a regular pet day care in here, Spike. You'll still be able to get some good play time with Winona like you said though, won't ya? She tends to get a little wild if she doesn't get her exercise.
Spike: Exercise. Sure, of course.
Winona: [barks]
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't remember seeing critters on the invite list.
Applejack: That's 'cause we're leavin' them here with Spike. He's gonna do a little critter-sittin' for us.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, really?
[thunk]
Fluttershy: So sorry I'm late. Silly bunny had hidden his brush. Be sure you get plenty on his tail, or it won't get as poofy as he likes it.
Applejack: Come on, girls, or we're gonna miss the train. One more for the road? Oh, you little puppy-wuppy, come on here! [chuckles]
Pinkie Pie: No, no no no. I love you more. No, I love you more! I love you more!!!
Fluttershy: Oh, I promise it'll be okay. I'll fluff your tail twice next week. Three times?
Rarity: Oh, I know. It's a chilly eighty one point two in here. Spike, take care of this, would you please?
Spike: You got it! So, uhh... What are you thinking about that hooting little friend of yours? Suppose you want me to keep an eye on him too.
Twilight Sparkle: That would be nice. You sure you don't already have your hands full?
Spike: Nah, pshaw. I'll be fine. But, uh, just between you and me, I gotta give priority to the... paying customers.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] You absolutely sure you can do this?
Spike: Of course. Wouldn't have agreed to it if I couldn't. Piece of cake. Speaking of cake, I got a little something I need to attend to.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like keeping an eye on a house full of critters.
Spike: [slurp] Uh, yeah, uh, that was totally what I was talking about. Relax. Go to your welcoming thing in the Crystal Empire. Spike's got it all under control.
[door closes]
[noises of ruckus]
Winona: [barking]
[thunk]
[noises of ruckus]
Winona: [barking]
Opalescence: [yowling]
[pages ripping]
[scratching]
[gyrocopter spinning]
[crash]
Spike: Alright, sidekicks, front and center!
Winona: [barks]
Spike: There are six of you, but there's only one right here in front of me... Gah! Two! And what I say goes!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Spike, the boss of you, that's who. One, two, three! Nngh, come on, number four!
Opalescence: [yowls] [scratches]
Spike: Whoa! Guh...
Gummy: [sucking]
[squelch]
Spike: One, two, three, four, five... Argh, who's missing?
[zip]
Spike: Angel.
[thunk]
[gyrocopter spinning]
Spike: All I wanted were some jewels. Big, juicy, delicious jewels. Now what do I have? A missing rabbit and–
Winona: [barks] [sniffs]
Sweetie Belle: Awww, little fluffy Angel Bunny-kins! You're so cute! The natural weaves in his fluff are to die for!
Spike: [clears throat]
Angel: [thumping]
Sweetie Belle: Isn't Angel just the cutest thing you've ever seen?!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
[ding]
Spike: [to Angel] Look, you don't wanna be with me. I'd rather not chase you around all over the place when I could be enjoying some jewel cake. Watch me solve both of our problems. [to the Cutie Mark Crusaders] Y'know, I'm supposed to be watching him, but you all have just hit it off so well that maybe, maybe I could let you take care of him instead.
Apple Bloom: We would, but we've got some major Crusaders business planned for today!
Scootaloo: Major. We're getting our skydiving cutie marks today!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ha! Yeah!
Spike: Well, I suppose, if you've got other plans... It's just, you're so good with them. Like get-a-cutie-mark-for-bunny-sitting good?
Apple Bloom: A bunny-sittin' cutie mark...
Sweetie Belle: That would be adorable!
Scootaloo: He does seem to like us.
Apple Bloom: And we haven't exactly figured out how we're gonna pull off this whole skydivin' thing.
Spike: You know what? As hard as it's gonna be for me part with these little guys, I think you should probably just take all of them. If you ask me, nngh, the more critters you take care of, the more chances you have of getting some kind of critter-sitting cutie mark. Am I right or am I right?
Apple Bloom: Sure!
[door shuts]
Spike: Yes!
Apple Bloom: But wait! How're we gonna take good care of them without treats for when they're good?
Sweetie Belle: And we'll need beds for when they're tired!
Scootaloo: And toys! They need toys!
Spike: It's an afternoon. They don't need all that stuff. They'll be fine.
Apple Bloom: We need to be able to buy them some things! One jewel might be able to cover it all.
Spike: Uh... what would I possibly be doing with jewels?
Apple Bloom: I happen to know for a fact that Applejack gave you a gem to watch Winona, which means...
Spike: Obviously, no one around here is getting a cutie mark for kindness toward a poor, hungry little dragon. Take it or leave it.
Apple Bloom: We'll take it.
[zip]
[door shuts]
Spike: [singing] Gonna put in some flour, and add a little sugar for my five de-li-cious jewels!
Sweetie Belle: [muffled] But pink feathers would look so good with your eyes!
Spike: Meh... that bird could use a little color.
Scootaloo: [muffled] Has anyone seen Tank's head? Where's his head?!
[door opens]
Spike: What have you done to the turtle?!
[pop]
Scootaloo: Ohh, I totally forgot he could do that. Heh.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, so, pretty sure critter-sittin' cutie marks are out.
Sweetie Belle: And our critter-grooming cutie marks probably aren't going to appear anytime soon either.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: [groans] Alright, load 'em up. And you can gimme back that jewel I gave you.
Apple Bloom: Sorry, we don't have it anymore.
Spike: What? Why not?!
Scootaloo: How do you think we paid for the industrial-sized pet hair dryer?
[dryer blowing]
Spike: [groans] Oh.
Winona: [barks]
Opalescence: [yowls]
[crash]
Angel: [laughs]
Zecora: Zecora knows just what to do about all this bad mojo that's floating around you.
Spike: I'm thinking a cage and a great big lock might be next.
Zecora: Zecora can take the bad away if you do just what I say.
Spike: Really?
Zecora: But before I can do my duty, I am going to need some of your booty.
Spike: [sighs] Where are you going?
Zecora: You think jewels are what you need, but there's no worse mojo than dragon greed.
[dramatic chord]
Angel: [laughs]
Spike: [stomach growling]
[pets fighting]
Spike: Almost there...
Granny Smith: [suspiciously] Mm-hm...
Spike: Just taking good care of everyone's animals. What am I gonna have to do to get this to go away? [sighs] And this is just between you and me, right? No other pony has to hear a word about it?
[pets fighting]
Granny Smith: A word about what now?
Spike: This better be important.
[steam hissing]
Conductor: All aboard!
Spike: Angel.
Conductor: I can't have all of these animals on my train. Not without tickets and not without chaperones.
Spike: All I need is to get on for one minute, grab a bunny, and get off! Promise!
Conductor: [laughs] Likely story. No chaperone, no train.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: Skydiving cutie marks!
[splash]
Spike: Is three ponies enough? [sighs] At least I have you two left, my delectable little treasures.
Conductor: All aboard for the Crystal Empire!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Crystal Empire?!
Scootaloo: I've always wanted to see the Crystal Empire!
Sweetie Belle: I wish I were dressed for it, but still... [squealing] THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!
Spike: We're not really going! We just needed to get on the train so I can get that rabbit! And when I do, we're off!
Scootaloo: What?!
Apple Bloom: That's not fair!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: There he is!
Conductor: Next stop, the Crystal Empire!
Spike: No, no, no, no, no, no!
[train engine chugging]
Apple Bloom: So it seems like the Crystal Empire would be really cold, but I've heard that it's not! It's as warm as can be!
Scootaloo: Do you think the walls are crystal? [gasps] Maybe even see-through! Can you imagine see-through walls?
[door opens]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasping]
[crash, crunch]
Opalesence: [yowls]
Spike: Take it! Just take it!
[train engine chugging]
Scootaloo: So beautiful!
Spike: Well, enjoy it while you can, 'cause we're not getting out of this car until we're back in Ponyville!
Apple Bloom: There is no way, no how, we're comin' all the way to the Crystal Empire without lookin' around!
Spike: Nopony's gonna get past this dragon!
Apple Bloom: Don't make me use this!
Spike: You wouldn't dare! [giggles]
[crunch]
Spike: Oh no! [gasps]
Scootaloo: Whoa, just whoa.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Sweetie Belle: Ah! I'm in crystal heaven!
Spike: Shhh! They're right there! There's the bunny! Please, please, pretty please, don't go down there! I'll fluff your tail! I'll perm, highlight, and blow it out if you'll just stop!
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Spike: What do you want?! Name it, and it's yours! [pants] [groans] [kisses] Hyah!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasping]
Angel: [crying]
[click]
[luggage clattering]
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness.
Conductor: All aboard!
Spike: Hah! You're coming with me!
Angel: [crying]
Spike: We made it!
Sweetie Belle: Without seeing the palace!
Twilight Sparkle: I think this car's empty.
Spike: They're coming this way! Everybody down!
Sweetie Belle: There has to be a better solution!
Spike: Shh! Oh, don't sit down, don't sit down!
Applejack: Whooeee! My dogs are barkin'.
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: Did y'all hear that? They really are!
Rainbow Dash: Huh, bummer Spike had to miss out on all this. He woulda' had fun here.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure he's having a great time watching all the critters back at home.
Applejack: Think he's still got a handle on things?
Twilight Sparkle: If he's staying calm and collected, I bet he's doing a terrific job as a leader.
Spike: Go ahead, bunny. Do your worst. I deserve it. I ignored you, tried to pawn you off on someone else, I didn't take these silly things out, or fluff this like I was supposed to. I wasn't really thinking about you at all. Any of you. Just wanted the jewels. I hope you'll all forgive me someday.
Winona: [licks]
Spike: You will? [stomach growls] Oh great. I'm gonna be the one who gives us away.
[clink]
Spike: Where did you– [stomach growls]
Applejack: You all hear that?
[patting]
[train pulls to halt]
Applejack: I can't wait to scratch the belly on Winona. Oh, I miss her.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait to see Owlowiscious! [giggles]
Spike: Hello! Thought we'd meet you at the station!
Sweetie Belle: So we could hear all about the Crystal Empire, and find out if you brought us one of the crystal snow globes that they sell at the train station!
Rarity: How did you know about the snow globes?
Sweetie Belle: Um... lucky guess?
Twilight Sparkle: I've gotta hand it to you, Spike. You did a really good job of taking care of the animals.
[gyrocopter spinning]
Fluttershy: Oh, Spike, Angel looks perfect! You did such a good job fluffing his tail.
Spike: Yeah, well... we're like this now.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: You know who.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Twilight Sparkle: So what are you thinking? Bake 'em into a jewel pie? Ooh, six-layer gem cake sounds pretty good!
Spike: Yeah, it does. [slurps] It really really does. [pause] Whyyyyyyyyy???!!!
Winona: [howls]
[music]
[credits]

Games Ponies Play

[train puffing]
Twilight Sparkle: You absolutely sure you can do this?
Spike: Of course. Wouldn't have agreed to it if I couldn't. Piece of cake. Speaking of cake, I got a little something I need to attend to.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, like keeping an eye on a house full of critters.
Spike: [slurp] Uh, yeah, uh, that was totally what I was talking about. Relax. Go to your welcoming thing in the Crystal Empire. Spike's got it all under control.
[door closes]
[noises of ruckus]
Rainbow Dash: Hurry up, Twilight! We can't miss our train!
Conductor: Tickets.
Applejack: Oh, this is gonna be a real treat. Princess Cadance said she'd never seen the Crystal Ponies so excited.
Rainbow Dash: Duh! Of course they're excited. They're up for the Equestria Games. It's only the biggest sporting event in all of Equestria.
Rarity: Didn't Cloudsdale host the Equestria Games one year?
Rainbow Dash: No. Cloudsdale should have hosted the games one year. I'll never forget when we got the bad news.
Laurette: The Equestria Games go to... the city of Fillydelphia.
Young Rainbow Dash: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rainbow Dash: These Crystal Ponies lost a thousand years to an evil king's curse. They've had enough bad news. No way we're letting them experience the pain of losing out on these games.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. Princess Cadance is counting on us to do our part to convince the Games Inspector to choose the Crystal Empire. And we are not gonna let her down. Are we?
Pinkie Pie: NOOOOOOOOOOO! What? I was just answering Twilight's question.
[theme song]
[train whistle]
Main cast: Four, three, two, one! The Crystal Empire, that's the one!
Pinkie Pie: [through megaphone] Okay, everypony, great job! Sounds like we're ready.
Main cast: [cheers, etc.]
Twilight Sparkle: One more time from the top.
Rest of main cast: [groans]
Rarity: Oh, please! I think that was perfect.
Applejack: [sighs] But we've run this, like, twelve times already. I think we've got it.
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance said the Games Inspector really puts folks through the wringer on her visits. There's no margin for error here. And this time we need to practice the steps.
Applejack: On a train car?
Rainbow Dash: You heard the pony! On your hooves!
Main Cast: Two, four, six, eight– [screams]
[brakes squealing]
[crash]
Train Conductor: Crystal Empire, ladies! Watch your step leaving the train!
Rarity: [groans]
Applejack: [sighs] Probably should've watched our step while we were still on it, too.
[train chugging]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! The Crystal Empire looks crystallier than ever!
Applejack: They must have everypony in the Empire out sprucing it up!
Twilight Sparkle: This must be why we were asked to handle the welcome committee routine.
Rainbow Dash: And it's probably also because we'll be awesome at it.
Applejack: Princess Cadance was right. These ponies do look pretty darn excited.
Rainbow Dash: Yup, I remember that feeling. But not as much as I remember the crushing wave of disappointment that came when things didn't work out. That right there. That is the face I do not want to see.
Rest of main cast: [mutters of agreement]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: We're here.
Princess Cadance: [giggles] There are my girls.
Twilight and Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake!
Rarity: [gasp]
Twilight and Cadance: Clap your hooves and do a little shake! [giggling]
Rarity: Oh, my. This is spectacular. Please, everypony, stand back! I need air!
Princess Cadance: Go ahead and try whatever you like. It's all complimentary for the welcome committee.
Rarity: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Princess Cadance: That over there is a crystal mud bath, which relaxes your body and rejuvenates your coat. Now, I realize it can be kind of strange to climb into mud, but if you'll just give it a chance, I'm sure–
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, no!
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] Ahh, so relaxing!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie! Honestly!
Princess Cadance: [breathes in]
Twilight Sparkle: [breathes in]
Princess Cadance: [breathes out]
Twilight Sparkle: [breathes out]
Princess Cadance: Go ahead, have a good time while I get my ceremonial headdress done.
Rarity: Ceremonial... headdress?
Princess Cadance: When meeting with important guests, it was tradition for rulers of the Crystal Empire to weave crystals into their manes in a very specific way. The Games Inspector is known for doing her homework. She'll certainly be expecting my look to reflect the importance of her visit.
[door opens]
Golden Hooves: Princess, if I may have a word... I-I have two pieces of news for you. First, your mane stylist has the flu and won't be able to make it for fear of you catching it, too.
Princess Cadance: Oh. Well... I hope she's better soon. Do any of the other stylists here know how to do the traditional royal ceremonial headdress?
Crystal Ponies: Um... well... uh... (No.)
Princess Cadance: Oh. [breaths in] [breaths out] Just a... small detail.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're trying to land the Equestria Games here. There is no such thing as a small detail!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash!
Rarity: I suppose... I could give it a shot.
Princess Cadance: Oh, Rarity, you would do that for me?
Rainbow Dash: Way to step it up, Rare!
Princess Cadance: Fortunately, I have all the precise instructions right here.
[paper unfurling]
Rarity: Oh, my!
Princess Cadance: You sure you're up to this?
Rarity: Working on the hair of royalty on such an auspicious occasion is the opportunity of a lifetime! I will give it everything I've got!
Twilight Sparkle: See? No worries!
Rarity: Besides, the Games Inspector isn't expected for several hours. I'll have plenty of time to figure out exactly how to... do... this...
Princess Cadance: Oh, Rarity, that's wonderful! [to Golden Hooves] You said you had a second bit of news?
Golden Hooves: Yes, quite. The Games Inspector, Ms. Harshwhinny, will be arriving on the... next train.
All: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: What!? You couldn't have told her that news first!? That's fifteen minutes from now!
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness!
Rainbow Dash: [panicked breathing]
Twilight Sparkle: [breathes in] [breathes out] How long before Cadance is ready?
Rarity: Hmmmm... I'm sure to find some shortcuts.
Twilight Sparkle: Can you have her back at the castle when we're done?
Rarity: Done.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, we'll be fine. Everypony, just be on the look out for the pony with the flower print luggage.
Pinkie Pie: Easy peasy, pudding in the freezy!
Twilight Sparkle: We bring the Games Inspector back to the castle, put on our big welcome committee how-do-you-do and then...
Pinkie Pie: Put the pudding out to thaw before you eat it or you'll crack a tooth?
Rainbow Dash: I'll just ignore that. We need to remember that the Games Inspector arriving early is probably part of a plan to psych us out.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean?
Rainbow Dash: You said it yourself. She's got a rep for trying to catch hosts off-guard, just to see if we can handle the kind of massive pressure that comes with hosting the Equestria Games.
Fluttershy: Oh, no... We're gonna blow it...
Rainbow Dash: Not if we always stay one step ahead and don't fall for any of her mind games. Anything she throws at us, we just need to remember she's testing us and roll with it.
[train braking]
Rainbow Dash: Excuse me, ma'am?
Ms. Peachbottom: Yes, what is it?
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
Twilight Sparkle: Be cool. [to Ms. Peachbottom] Well, I know you're not expecting us, but we're here to personally welcome you to the Crystal Empire.
Ms. Peachbottom: The whole lot of you came to do that?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, well, um... yes!
Ms. Peachbottom: Well, darn tootin', ain't that the cat's meow! Y'all didn't need to do that. Why, I hardly expected anything like this.
Applejack: Whew! The Princess wouldn't have had it any other way.
Ms. Peachbottom: The Princess? Princess Cadance?
Twilight Sparkle: None other!
Ms. Peachbottom: Well, tie me up and throw me down! This just keeps gettin' better and better!
Fluttershy: Can we help you with your bags?
Ms. Peachbottom: Don't mind if ya do!
Fluttershy: Ooh, I love flower print! Sorry.
Pinkie Pie: Our first stop is the castle, where we got a big razzamatazzy welcome planned for you!
Ms. Peachbottom: The castle? Are you kidding?! Hot-diggety-dawg!
Twilight Sparkle: See that? We just gotta roll with it until the Princess gets there and we'll be just fine.
[train chugging]
[drilling noise]
[stretching noise]
Princess Cadance: So, uh... how's it going so far?
Rarity: Oh, I'm so sorry... It's just... oh so complicated. [laughs nervously] I can fix it!
Princess Cadance: Fix what?!
Rarity: Well, I-I was looking for shortcuts and I thought step twelve was optional! But it's not!
Ms. Peachbottom: My golly, the crystal castle! [gasps] Why, I've seen pictures, but I never expected to see it with my very own eyes! [gulps] From the inside...
Fluttershy: Oh, my gosh, she's so nice!
Rainbow Dash: You're letting her lull you into a false sense of confidence. Watch that. It's all part of the game.
[twang]
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, my, I'm so excited.
Twilight Sparkle: Please, have a seat, won't you?
Ms. Peachbottom: Mind if I take a quick run outside first? It was an awfully long train ride and my legs could use a stretch.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well... we were just about to start.
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh! Never you mind. You go on ahead. I'm listening.
Rainbow Dash: She was probably testing us to see if we could remain in control of a complex situation. Looks like we passed. Bump–
Fluttershy: –cha!
Twilight Sparkle: We'd like to thank you for this opportunity to introduce you to this wonderful kingdom!
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, why, the pleasure is all mine.
Twilight Sparkle: And since we're not even from here ourselves, who better than us to let you know just how welcoming this place can be!
Main cast:
Two, four, six, eight!
Name a place that's really great!
One, two, three, four!
Keeps you coming back for more!
Two, seven, nine, three!
The place that we all wanna be!
Four, three, two, one!
The Crystal Empire, that's the one!
Ms. Peachbottom: Oooh, yeah! [whistles]
Main cast: [panting]
Ms. Peachbottom: Ooh, I tell ya! I have traveled far and wide, but I have never, ever been welcomed anyplace in the fashion that y'all have done here today.
Twilight Sparkle: That's fantastic! Princess Cadance would be so glad to hear that!
Ms. Peachbottom: Honestly, I'm surprised she knows anything about me at all!
[pause]
Twilight Sparkle: Of course she does! She's been looking forward to your visit for weeks!
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, goody! Is she here?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Applejack: [hushed] Where the heck is she anyway? Wasn't she supposed to be here by now?
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, that's all right. [gulps] Maybe I-I-I'll just take my little run outside now. [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Or, if you like, we could give you a tour of the castle! That way you could be learning and stretching all at the same time!
Ms. Peachbottom: Ooh, a tour of the crystal castle... I'd love that a whole heap.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Dash! We've hardly ever even been here before!
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] It's just another test! We gotta roll with it, remember?
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! Lemme give the tour! I'lldoit, I'lldoit, letmeletmeletme!
Twilight Sparkle: [breathes in] [breathes out] Fine. You all start giving her the tour, and I'll go see what's keeping Cadance.
[luggage dragging]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Oof!
Twilight Sparkle: Hello there!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Hello yourself. First hello of the day–
[splash]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Oof! [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [humming]
Rarity: [gasps] W-What are you doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: We finished the welcome committee song and we just wanted to introduce Ms. Harshwhinny to–
Rarity: No, no! Princess Cadance isn't ready. Something's gone terribly wrong!
Twilight Sparkle: I need to speak to the Princess.
Rarity: You can't! You mustn't! She's in the middle of a delicate conditioning rinse that must go perfectly if there's to be any hope for her hair!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, how bad can it be?
Rarity: Imagine her mane turned into a porcupine.
Twilight Sparkle: Ew.
Rarity: Please! I will bring her back from the brink of tragedy, but you have got to buy me some time! There's no other way!
[door slams]
Pinkie Pie: So, you see this here? This, um, this is, um... a big, round room. It's known for its roundness and bigness. And did I mention that it's round?
Ms. Peachbottom: I think they call it a rotunda? A small, confining, rotunda...
Pinkie Pie: [blows raspberry] Whatever. Round is round, am I right?
Applejack: [hushed] Easy, Pinkie, let's play this safe! We got her in a good mood, so let's not do anything to ruin that.
Ms. Peachbottom: You know... I love this sort of architecture. I-I-I detect a neo-Gothic inspiration in the design, yes?
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Look at me! [makes funny noises]
Applejack: [sighs] And not a moment too soon. Where's Cadance? Please tell me she's right behind you.
Twilight Sparkle: There's a bit of a problem with her headdress. How's it going here?
Pinkie Pie: Boingy, boingy, boingy! [wibbles tongue]
Ms. Peachbottom: I, uh, hate to be a bother, but the legs are cramping up on me with all this standing around...
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: She's getting bored, and we have to buy Rarity some more time. [breathes in] [breathes out] I'll see if Shining Armor can come help. Can't one of you other ponies take over in the meantime?
Rainbow Dash: I got this. Wanna stretch your legs, huh? Well, whatever you need, I'm sure we can provide. Let's just make our way to the castle's gymnasium. Our tour will now be headed... this way. And we're walking, and we're walking...
Twilight Sparkle: [humming]
[door opens]
Athletes: [indistinct conversations]
Shining Armor: Twily!
Twilight Sparkle: Hello there! Shining Armor, you've gotta help me.
Shining Armor: [blows whistle] Everything okay?
Twilight Sparkle: I left the other ponies behind giving the Games Inspector the worst castle tour ever.
Shining Armor: Come on, gang! Are we gonna gallop, or are we gonna trot!? [to Twilight] Castle tour, huh? I'm pretty sure I can give you a hoof with that. [to athletes] Let's move, move, move! [to Twilight] Everything's gonna be okay.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, I'm not worried. I'm not worried... it worked!
Ms. Peachbottom: [gasping] I'm outside! [laughing] Feels so good to stretch the old legs!
Shining Armor: Uh, what the–
Rainbow Dash: Turns out the crystal castle doesn't have a gymnasium.
Shining Armor: Watch it!
[crash]
Ms. Peachbottom: Woo-hoo!
Shining Armor: Make her stop!
Rainbow Dash: Wait, that's the Games Inspector! Let her do her thing.
Ms. Peachbottom: Good. Oh, these hooves! I'm outside!
Shining Armor: Why would she do that?
Rainbow Dash: I have no idea, but that's why she's who's in charge of choosing who gets the Games, and we're not.
[crashing]
[skidding]
Ms. Peachbottom: [muffled] Oh! Oh, get me outside for a run!
Shining Armor: Look out!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, okay, we need to stop her.
Ms. Peachbottom: [muffled, hysterical yelps]
[splash]
Fluttershy: Where's she going in such a hurry?
Ms. Peachbottom: [muffled, hysterical yelps]
Rainbow Dash: Closer... closer... I think we've got her... Yaaaaaaah!
[thud]
[glass squeaking]
Ms. Peachbottom: Hoo-eee! Oh, that felt good! Nothing like a great run to shake the cobwebs off these old bones.
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
Ms. Peachbottom: Hey there, speedy. Ah, these wide open spaces y'all got here remind me of home. This is great!
Rainbow Dash: Oh! [pants] So you're [pants] enjoying your visit? [pants] Well, I'm so [pants] glad! [pants]
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, good golly, yes. I just love to travel and see new places. Such a beautiful spot you got here, too!
Shining Armor: Why... thank you so much! I'm Shining Armor.
Ms. Peachbottom: [gasps] The Prince!
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Rainbow Dash: From the looks of it, just locking up the games for the Crystal Empire is all. Ain't no thing.
Ms. Peachbottom: My, oh, my... I never met a Prince before...
Shining Armor: [chuckles] I'm surprised. I'd think in your line of work you'd meet princes all the time.
Ms. Peachbottom: Hardly. Just an ordinary wild mustang from Mustangia here to enjoy a little vay-cay. Never thought I'd also be meeting royalty to boot. [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: You... are Ms. Harshwhinny, the Equestria Games Inspector, aren't you?
Ms. Peachbottom: Inspector what-now?
Rainbow Dash: We got the wrong pony?!
Pinkie Pie: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I mean, YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!
Twilight Sparkle: [panicked breathing]
Applejack: Oh, please still be here... Oh please, oh please, oh please...
Twilight Sparkle: There's got to be another pony with flower print luggage around here somewhere.
Rainbow Dash: Except that there isn't!
Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta find her before Cadance finds out what a mess we've made of things.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, here's what we do. We split the Empire up into five sectors.
Fluttershy: Each of us search a sector.
Pinkie Pie: Well... except for the spa. What's the point of checking there? That's where Cadance is. If Ms. Harshwhinny is there, well, then, game over, right?
Rest of main cast: [gasp]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Every city and empire wants to host the Equestria Games. So, I have to go through all the big phony-baloney song and dance, though of course, I'm never getting the real inside scoop.
Ms. Peachbottom: Oh, golly, I've been having a swell time since I got here. I'm actually thinking of extendin' my stay.
Ms. Harshwhinny: And what exactly has made your visit so special?
Ms. Peachbottom: Oohohohoooh, gosh, where to start?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, there she is! We're in luck! I don't think either of them knows yet that the other one's here!
[bell rings]
Rarity: Wonderful news, look! Princess Cadance, better than new!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Princess Cadance? So, this is where you've been! I will have you know this is by far the worst welcome I've had in all my years!
Princess Cadance: I-I can't believe it... What was wrong with your welcome?
Ms. Harshwhinny: There wasn't one!
Princess Cadance: What is going on?
Rainbow Dash: Princess, we gave our welcome to the wrong pony, left the right one waiting at the station, and completely ruined everything.
Pinkie Pie: [nervously] Cinnamon bun? [squee]
Rainbow Dash: When I was a little filly, I wanted so badly for Cloudsdale to win the Equestria Games. But it didn't happen. So I thought I could make up for that disappointment by helping the Crystal Empire win the chance to host the Games. But it looks like I ruined your chances instead.
Ms. Peachbottom: Not so fast, speedy.
Ms. Harshwhinny: I just finished hearing about how this pony was just treated to the warmest, finest, most fabulous reception she ever had.
Ms. Peachbottom: Darn tootin'!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Courtesy of these fine ponies right here. Which, in my expert opinion, amounts to the first ever unvarnished, unrehearsed, and unbiased appraisal of a potential host of the Equestria Games. Which can only mean one thing...
Princess Cadance: [through microphone] The next host of the Equestria Games is... the Crystal Empire!
[cheering]
Rainbow Dash: We did it!
Princess Cadance: [through microphone] Congratulations, Crystal Ponies!
[boom]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] You know, it feels good to help others get something you always wanted but never had. Almost as good as getting it yourself. Almost.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll still be able to come back here and watch the games when they're played.
Rainbow Dash: You're right. That'll rock!
[luggage collapsing]
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness.
Conductor: All aboard!
Rainbow Dash: Huh, bummer Spike had to miss out on all this. He woulda' had fun here.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure he's having a great time watching all the critters back at home.
Applejack: Think he's still got a handle on things?
Twilight Sparkle: [breathes out] If he's staying calm and collected, I bet he's doing a terrific job as a leader.
Spike: [stomach growls]
Applejack: You all hear that?
[music]
[credits]

Magical Mystery Cure

[Twilight Sparkle]
Morning in Ponyville shimmers
Morning in Ponyville shines
And I know for absolute certain
That everything is certainly fine
There's the Mayor en route to her office
There's the sofa clerk selling some quills
Davenport: Morning, kid!
[Twilight Sparkle]
My Ponyville is so gentle and still
Can things ever go wrong?
I don't think that they will
Morning in Ponyville shimmers
Morning in Ponyville shines
And I know for absolute certain
That everything is certainly—
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, that's not funny!
Rarity: Terribly sorry, darling. I'm afraid I'm... I'm not good with the thundery ones.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Something tells me everything is not going to be fine.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing? What happened to your cutie mark?
Rarity: Whatever do you mean, Twilight? I'm simply doing what I've done since the day it first appeared. Does my sky look fabulous or what?
[ponies complaining]
Rarity: Too last season?
Twilight Sparkle: Where is Rainbow Dash? Why isn't she handling this?
Spike: [yawns] I still don't know what you had to wake me up for. I love sleeping in the rain.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not about the weather, Spike. Rarity had Rainbow Dash's cutie mark and said this was Rainbow Dash's cottage. Something strange is going on... [knocks]
[animal noises]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, guys.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Why is Rarity doing your job?
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: And what in Equestria is going on in... here?
[Rainbow Dash]
These animals don't listen, no, not one little bit
They run around out of control and throw their hissy fits
[cat hissing]
It's up to me to stop them, 'cause plainly you can see
It's got to be my destiny, and it's what my cutie mark is telling me
[Fluttershy]
[blows balloon]
I try to keep them laughing, put a smile upon their face
But no matter what I try, it seems a bit of a disgrace
[blows party horn]
[laughter]
I have to entertain them, it's there for all to see
It's got to be my destiny, and it's what my cutie mark is telling me
[Pinkie Pie]
I don't care much for pickin' fruit and plowin' fields ain't such a hoot
No matter what I try, I cannot fix this busted water chute!
I've got so many chores to do, it's no fun being me
But it has to be my destiny, 'cause it's what my cutie mark is telling me
[Applejack]
Lookie here at what I made, I think that it's a dress
I know it doesn't look like much, I'm under some distress
Could y'all give me a hand here and help me fix this mess?
My destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is tellin' me
[Rarity]
I'm in love with weather patterns, but the others have concerns
For I just gave them frostbite over top of their sunburns
I have to keep on trying, for everyone can see
[Rarity and Rainbow Dash]
It's got to be
[Fluttershy]
It's got to be
[Pinkie Pie]
My destiny
[Applejack]
My destiny
[Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy]
And it's what my cutie mark
[Pinkie Pie and Applejack]
It's what my cutie mark
[Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack]
Yes, it's what my cutie mark is telling me!
Twilight Sparkle: This is bad. This is very, very bad.
Spike: What's going on? Why is this happening?!
Twilight Sparkle: Last night when you were taking one of your seven-hour bubble baths, I got a special delivery from the princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Twilight Sparkle,
The spell contained on the last page of this book is Star Swirl the Bearded's secret unfinished masterpiece. [gasps] Ooh! He was never able to get it right, and thus abandoned it. I believe you are the only pony who can understand and rewrite it. Princess Celestia
From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled. That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't even rhyme!
Twilight Sparkle: I cast the spell so I could find out what it was, but nothing seemed to happen. But now I know something did happen. The spell has changed the Elements of Harmony! That must be why their cutie marks are all wrong!
Spike: So just cast a counter-spell to switch them back.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. There is no counter-spell!
Spike: Why don't you just use that memory spell you used to fix everypony when Discord was here?
Twilight Sparkle: It's not their memories, Spike. It's their true selves that have been altered!
Spike: Zecora's cure for the cutie pox?
Twilight Sparkle: That won't work either...
Spike: Well [sighs], maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe our friends will grow to like their new lives.
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike. They're not who they are meant to be anymore. Their destinies are now changed, and it's all my fault.
[Twilight Sparkle]
I have to find a way
To make this all okay
I can't believe this small mistake
Could've caused so much heartache
Oh why, oh why?
Losing promise
I don't know what to do
Seeking answers
I fear I won't get through to you
Oh why, oh why?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, what have I done?
Spike: Aw, come on, Twilight, you'll figure out a way to fix this. These are your friends.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Spike. And they mean more to me than anything. My friends...
Spike: Twilight? Are you alright?
Twilight Sparkle: I've got it! I know what to do!
Spike: You do?
Twilight Sparkle: I may not be able to remind them of who they are, but I can show them what they mean to each other. They'll find the part of themselves that's been lost so they can help the friend they care about so much! Come on, Spike!
[bits clinking]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, wait!
Fluttershy: Oh... Hey, Twilight...
Twilight Sparkle: Where are you going?
Fluttershy: I'm moving back to Cloudsdale. I don't know what's wrong, but I can't seem to make anypony laugh.
[whoopee cushion deflating]
Twilight Sparkle: Before you go, I was wondering if you might be willing to help Rainbow Dash. She's really struggling with her animals.
Fluttershy: But... I don't really know anything about animals...
Twilight Sparkle: But you do know something about Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy: I... know that she's a true friend, and I'll do anything I can to help her.
[thunk]
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I'm in here! Help! I'm trapped!
Fluttershy: Hurry, Twilight! Can't you do some sort of spell to get her out?
Twilight Sparkle: No. Fluttershy, you're the only one who can help! Rainbow Dash needs you!
Fluttershy: Um... Hello? Little... woodland creatures? I know that you're all very upset and feel like giving Rainbow Dash a hard time, but we'd all really appreciate it if you'd calm down and, um, maybe... rest for a bit? Oh! Uh... look! Here's some nice, juicy leaves for you to munch on. And some crunchy, munchy acorns too. Uh, wouldn't you like to take a break and have a little snack?
[cutlery clinking]
[animals eating]
Fluttershy: Aww, look at that. I guess you were all just cranky because you were hungry. Oh, you are very welcome, little friends.
Bear: [kisses]
Fluttershy: Goodness, it's like I can understand them! I... I feel strange, like... like this is what I'm meant to do, like this is who I am! My destiny! Wha... what happened?
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, look! Your cutie mark!
Twilight Sparkle: It worked! It worked! Oh, I'm so happy you're back to normal! Now we need your help!
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
A friend will be there to help them see
[Twilight and Fluttershy]
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light that shines from a true, true friend
Rainbow Dash: Um, hello? Friend trapped inside, remember?
[Twilight Sparkle]
Rarity needs your help
She's trying hard, doing what she can
[Fluttershy]
Would you try, just give it a chance
You might find that you'll start to understand
[Twilight and Fluttershy]
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
A friend will be there to help you see
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light that shines from a true, true friend
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what just happened?
Twilight Sparkle: There's no time to explain, but we need your help. Applejack's trying to make dresses!
Rainbow Dash: Say no more!
[Rainbow Dash]
Applejack needs your help
She's trying hard, doing what she can
Would you try, just give it a chance
You might find that you'll start to understand
[Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash]
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
A friend will be there to help them see
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light that shines from a true, true friend
Rarity: [gasps] Oh my, what a terrible dream I had. Or, maybe I'm still having it.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, Pinkie Pie is about to lose the apple farm. We need Applejack's help!
Rarity: Lose the apple farm? Well we can't let that happen, now can we?
[Rarity]
Pinkie Pie is in trouble
We need to get there by her side
We can try to do what we can now
For together we can be her guide
[Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity]
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
A friend will be there to help them see
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light that shines from a true, true friend
Applejack: Yee-haw! Now that's more like it! What's next?
Twilight Sparkle: The townspeople are furious. We need the old Pinkie Pie back.
Applejack: I'm on it. I know just the thing.
[Applejack]
The townspeople need you
They've been sad for a while
They march around, face a-frown
And never seem to smile
And if you feel like helpin'
We'd appreciate a lot
If you'd get up there and spread some cheer
From here to Canterlot
Pinkie Pie: Come on ponies, I wanna see you SMILE!
Crowd: PINKIE!
[Main cast and crowd]
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
A friend will be there to help them see
A true, true friend helps a friend in need
To see the light! (To see the light!)
That shines! (That shines!)
From a true, true friend!
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] A mark of one's destiny, singled out alone, fulfilled. [normal] [gasps] Wait a second, that's it! I understand now! I know how to fix the spell!
From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!
Rest of main cast: [cries of shock]
Fluttershy: [gasps] What happened?
Rest of main cast: [exclamations of shock]
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] Hello? Where am I? What is this place?
Princess Celestia: [echoing] Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you could do it.
Twilight Sparkle: [echoing] Princess... I don't understand. What did I do?
Princess Celestia: You did something today that's never been done before. Something even a great unicorn like Star Swirl the Bearded was not able to do, because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you've learned here in Ponyville have taught you well. You have proven that you're ready, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready? Ready for what?
[Princess Celestia]
You've come such a long, long way
And I've watched you from that very first day
To see how you might grow
To see what you might do
To see what you've been through
And all the ways you've made me proud of you
It's time now for a new change to come
You've grown up and your new life has begun
To go where you will go
To see what you will see
To find what you will be
For it's time for you to fulfill your destiny
Applejack: Twilight? Is that you?
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Applejack: Wha... I-I've never seen anything like it!
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Twilight's got wings! Awesome! A new flying buddy! [laughs]
Rarity: Why, you've become an Alicorn. I didn't even know that was possible.
Pinkie Pie: [screaming] Alicorn party! [blows party kazoo]
[crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: Wow... You look just like a princess!
Princess Celestia: That's because she is a princess.
Main cast: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Hold on a second! [drinks] [spits]
Twilight Sparkle: A... A princess?
Princess Celestia: Since you've come to Ponyville, you've displayed the charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, the leadership of a true princess.
Twilight Sparkle: But... does this mean I won't be your student anymore?
Princess Celestia: Not in the same way as before. I'll still be here to help and guide you, but we're all your students now, too. You are an inspiration to us all, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: But... what do I do now? Is there a book about being a princess I should read?
Princess Celestia: [giggles] There will be time for all of that later.
Princess Celestia: We are gathered here today in celebration of a momentous occasion. My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has done many extraordinary things since she's lived in Ponyville. She even helped reunite me with my sister, Princess Luna. But today, Twilight Sparkle did something extraordinary. She created new magic, proving without a doubt that she is ready to be crowned Equestria's newest princess. Fillies and gentlecolts, may I present for the very first time, Princess Twilight Sparkle!
[Choir]
The Princess Twilight cometh
Behold, behold
A Princess here before us
Behold, behold, behold
Behold, behold (behold, behold)
The Princess Twilight cometh
Behold, behold (behold, behold)
The Princess is
The Princess is here!
[crowd cheering]
Princess Celestia: Say something, Princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Um... [clears throat] A little while ago, my teacher and mentor Princess Celestia sent me to live in Ponyville. She sent me to study friendship, which is something I didn't really care much about. But now, on a day like today, I can honestly say I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the friendships I've made with all of you. Each one of you taught me something about friendship, and for that, I will always be grateful. Today, I consider myself the luckiest pony in Equestria. Thank you, friends. Thank you, everypony!
[crowd cheering]
Shining Armor: Twilight! I'm so proud of you!
Twilight Sparkle: Are you crying?
Shining Armor: Of course not. It's... it's liquid pride. Totally different thing.
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Applejack: Way to go, Princess!
Pinkie Pie: Best coronation day ever!
Fluttershy: We love you, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I love you too, girls!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Life in Equestria shimmers
Life in Equestria shines
And I know for absolute certain
[Main cast and crowd]
That everything (that everything)
Yes, everything (yes, everything)
Yes, everything is certainly fine
It’s fine
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Everything’s going to be just fine!
["A True, True Friend" plays over credits]

Princess Twilight Sparkle - Part 1

Rainbow Dash: You gotta really flap 'em hard.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, maybe not quite that hard.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Oof!
Applejack: Lookin' good up there, Princess Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you know you don't have to call me that.
Rarity: Why do you protest so? You've already given up wearing your crown all the time. The least you can do is embrace your new title.
Twilight Sparkle: If other ponies want to address me that way, I suppose it's fine, but... not my friends. It just doesn't feel right. [sigh] And neither does all this flying business. The Summer Sun Celebration is only two days away, and I'm never gonna be ready to perform my part.
Rainbow Dash: Not if you spend all your time down here, you won't! Now get up there and show everypony the big finish!
Main 6 sans Twilight: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo! Whaaaa! Oof! Oof! [coughs] [screams]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! That was a big finish!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[theme song]
Rarity: You look amazing, darling. They've really captured your regality.
Twilight Sparkle: I suppose.
Rarity: Oh, don't be so modest. It's everypony's dream to someday wear a crown and have their coronation ceremony preserved in stained glass for all to see. [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: I don't know if it's everypony's dream.
Pinkie Pie: Most of my dreams are about frosting! [slurp] Ohohohoho...
Fluttershy: We'd better get going. We don't want to miss our train.
Applejack: Fluttershy's right. Don't know about y'all, but I've still got bushels to do to get ready. The official celebration may be here in Canterlot, but hoo-wee, has the Mayor put us in charge of one heck of a party back home. Aw, don't look like that, sugarcube. You get to be right there with the other Princesses when Celestia raises the sun.
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm honored. Really, I am. It's just that the Summer Sun Celebration is what first brought us all together. It just doesn't feel right not getting to spend such a special day with my Ponyville friends.
Rarity: It doesn't feel right to us either, darling. If the Mayor wasn't so desperate for our assistance, we'd most certainly stay here in Canterlot. And of course we do understand that your royal duties must come first.
Applejack: The Summer Sun Celebration may have brought us together, but it's something much bigger that'll always keep us connected. Exhibit A: The six of us are united by the Elements of Harmony. No amount of royal duties is gonna change that. Right, everypony?
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [general agreement]
Applejack: Right, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Creamy, creamy frosting... [chuckles]
Fluttershy: You should take that as a yes.
[train whistle blows]
Pinkie Pie: We're gonna write you and give you so many details, it'll be like you're in Ponyville with us! Right, girls?
Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.
Rarity: And you will be with us right after the Celebration. We already have an appointment on the books to discuss the royal upgrades to your loft decor.
[train whistle blows]
Train Conductor: All aboard for Ponyville!
Main 6 sans Twilight: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
[train chugging]
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales] I can't help it, Spike. They've only been gone a minute, and I already feel like I'm missing something.
Messenger Pony: For the Princess.
Spike: [reading] Dear Twilight, you aren't missing anything. Your friend, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: [in the distance] That's me!
Main 6 sans Twilight: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: But I am. I just know it.
Spike: Check, check, check, check, and... check! Huh, whaddaya know? We're way ahead of schedule! I credit your extremely competent assistant.
Twilight Sparkle: So do I.
Spike: The Celebration isn't until the day after tomorrow. We could still fit in a quick trip to Ponyville and be back in plenty of time to finish off these last few things before the main event!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] That would be nice, Spike, but what if something else came up while we were gone? What if we were delayed getting back and I wasn't able to finish everything on that list? What if we lost the list on the way to Ponyville and then couldn't remember which things we'd done and which things we hadn't done, and then spent so much time trying to figure out what we hadn't done and what we had done, and we ruined the entire Celebration by not doing the one really important thing that we were supposed to do?!
[thud]
Spike: Uh... so that's a 'no' then?
Twilight Sparkle: These are the first royal duties Princess Celestia has given me. I can't risk letting her down!
Princess Celestia: And I'm sure you won't.
Spike: Your highness!
Princess Celestia: No need for that now, Princess Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
Princess Celestia: [giggles] No need to apologize.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry!
Princess Celestia: I must admit that it is wonderful to actually be looking forward to the Summer Sun Celebration.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean?
Princess Celestia: For my subjects, it has always been a celebration of my defeat of Nightmare Moon. But for me... [sighs] It was just a terrible reminder that I'd had to banish my own sister.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I never really thought about it that way.
Princess Celestia: But now it has become a wonderful reminder of her transformation back into Princess Luna, and our happy reunion. I am so pleased that you will be playing a role in the festivities. I know it must have been difficult to see your friends return to Ponyville without you.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe a little.
Princess Celestia: You may no longer be my student, Princess Twilight, but I hope you know that I will always be here if you need me. Just as I hope that you will always be there when I need you.
Spike: [clears throat] I think this guy needs you?
Messenger Pony: Uh, a message for Princess Twilight.
[party popper going off]
Princess Celestia: A letter from Ponyville, I presume?
Twilight Sparkle: Never mind. It's not important. Spike, where were we?
Spike: About to call it a night?
Twilight Sparkle: We should probably go over the checklist one more time.
Spike: I knew you were gonna say that...
Princess Celestia: I'll leave you to it.
Princess Celestia: [gasps] [yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?! Spike?
Spike: [snores] Check-check-check-check-check-check...
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Spike: Ungh... What time is it?
Twilight Sparkle: It's the middle of the night! But it could be morning. That's just it! I can't tell!
Spike: Whoa. That is weird.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Spike, we have to find out what's going on.
[ponies chattering]
"Primrose": What do you think it means?!
Royal Ribbon: Princess Twilight will know!
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm-I'm sure it's just... Well, there's certainly a logical ex–
Royal guard #1: Your Highness, you must come with us.
[doors slam]
Royal guard #1: It's Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.
Royal guard #2: They're gone!
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: But I don't understand! Where are they?
Royal guard #1: We don't know. It seems that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have simply... vanished.
Spike: Vanished?!
[thud]
Royal guard #1: This is why we have come to you.
Royal guard #2: We await your command.
Twilight Sparkle: My command?!
Royal guard #2: We're officers of the Royal Guard. We take our orders from royalty. With Princess Luna and Princess Celestia gone, and Princess Cadance overseeing the Crystal Empire now, that means we take our orders from you.
[thud]
Royal guard #2: Princess Twilight, there's no time to waste. We need to know what you want us to do.
Twilight Sparkle: I want you to continue the search for Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. We have to find them before ponies start to panic. There must be some clue that can tell us what's happened to them. If you find something, anything, let me know immediately. [exhales]
Spike: Way to take charge, Twilight.
[doors slam]
Royal guard #3: Your highness! News from Ponyville! The Everfree Forest appears to be... well... invading!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[thud]
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: Excuse me... Oh, pardon me... Are you all right? My goodness, what is it that has caused you all such distress?
Bear: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Whatever it is, I'm sure it's nothing you need to really worry about. [screams] Oh, no, you were right. You should be worried! Very, very worried!
Granny Smith: [grunting]
[snap]
Applejack: Come on, y'all! Put your backs into it! [grunts]
[stretching noises]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. [chomp] Nope. Eeyup. [chomp] Nope. Eeyup. [chomp]
[thud]
Big McIntosh: ...Nope.
Applejack: [straining] Dagnabbit, we ain't never seen this kind of trouble with weeds before. Now that I think about it, I've never seen these kinds of weeds at all! Have y'all?
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Applejack: Where the heck are these things comin' from? And what in tarnation is goin' on with the sky?!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no, you don't! This is Ponyville territory, and we aren't due for rain until after the Summer Sun Celebration. You Everfree clouds need to just head on back to where you belong! Whoa! [yelps] Gonna make me do this the hard way, huh? [yelping] Hey!
Rarity: [humming] Hmm. Something strange about the sky.
[tea trickling]
[splash]
Rarity: What in the name of calming chamomile is going on?!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: Opalescence, darling, I'm so sorry! I promise I am not doing this on purpose!
[hiss]
[smashing crockery]
Rarity: It wasn't me, I swear!
Opalescence: [growls]
Rarity: Ooh, Sweetie Belle! If this is some sort of prank you and your little Crusader friends are pulling, I find very little humor in it!
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, you have to help me! I think something's wrong with my horn!
[thud]
Sweetie Belle: [grunts] [yelps]
Rarity: [gasps]
Sweetie Belle: [screams]
Rarity: [yelps]
Spike: Where are we going?!
Twilight Sparkle: The Everfree Forest is... 'invading'. Whatever is going on, I'm sure we're going to need our friends and the Elements of Harmony to stop it! I just hope we haven't missed the train...
Spike: [gasps] [short on breath] Twilight? There is another way for us to get to Ponyville, remember?
Twilight Sparkle: There is?
Spike: Huah! You can fly!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Right!
[car engine starting and sputtering]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
[Wilhelm scream, other ponies scream]
Rarity: Something very strange is going on, and- [gasps] I for one would appreciate an explanation!
Rainbow Dash: All I know is the sky's split in two, and these clouds moving in sure aren't from around here.
Applejack: Neither are all these crazy plants! They're comin' from the Everfree Forest! And try as we might, us Earth ponies can't do anythin' to get rid of 'em! Don't suppose you know any magic that might stop 'em from spreadin'?
Rarity: Alas, this whole raging forest situation seems to have left my horn on the fritz!
Fluttershy: We have to figure out something! I don't know how much more of this Ponyville can take! [yelps] I don't know how much more I can take!
Applejack: The forest is expandin', y'all, and judgin' by how fast it's movin', it doesn't seem content just takin' over Ponyville... I reckon before long, it'll cover half of Equestria!
[plants creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [unsure noises]
Spike: [gags]
[click]
Spike: I'm starting to wish... we'd taken the train!
Twilight Sparkle: Almost there! Come on, Spike, we need to get the Elements of Harmony and find the others!
Spike: Incoming!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Aah!
[thonk]
Rarity: Oh, thank goodness!
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope you know we wouldn't normally go through your books without permission...
[door opens]
Spike: Sweet ground! [kissing noises] Sweet, sweet, wonderful ground!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I get it! I need to work on my flying!
Pinkie Pie: I dunno if you've noticed, but the Everfree Forest is just a teeny-tiny bit out of control.
Rarity: [groans]
Applejack: Guess it turned out you were missin' something here in Ponyville after all.
Rarity: But perhaps you already know what's causing all of this calamity. Has Princess Celestia sent you to dispel it posthaste?
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly. You see, Princess Celestia is, well... she and Princess Luna are both...
Spike: They're missing!
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know who has taken them, but I've got a hunch we're going to need the Elements of Harmony to get them back.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah, just like old times.
Pinkie Pie: A-boo-yah!
Applejack: I told ya we'd always be connected by the Elements. [sighs] Now we just gotta figure out who to aim these bad boys at so we can get Celestia and Luna back and keep the rest of Equestria from becoming plant food! Any ideas?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm...
Pinkie Pie: I haven't found squat in any of the books I've been looking through! Oopsies! Missed a spot!
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Half day, half night... strange weather patterns... out of control plants. I think I'm starting to get a pretty good idea of who we're up against.
[magical whirling noises]
Discord: [singing] Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap-ooh! [laughs] Now, Twilight, you know Princess Celestia said that you were to give me a heads up before you summon me with that little spell she gave you. In case you haven't noticed, I was in the middle of a particularly invigorating shower.
Twilight Sparkle: E-nough! Release Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and stop the Everfree Forest from invading!
Discord: Why, [chuckles] whatever are you talking about?
Applejack: Don't you play dumb with us, Discord! We know you're the one behind all of this!
Discord: Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love what you've done with the place, but I couldn't possibly take responsibility. I'm reformed, don't you remember?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right! This has got your cloven hoofprints all over it!
Discord: I'll have you know that I have only one cloven hoof. Such accusations. And here I thought we were friends.
Pinkie Pie: Drop the act, buster! We're onto you!
Discord: Ladies, ladies, I'm innocent. Would I lie to you?
Main cast sans Fluttershy: Yes!
Fluttershy: Um, maybe?
Discord: Well then, it seems we've reached an impasse. I'm telling the truth, but you think I'm lying. What do friends like us do in a situation like this, Princess Twilight? Congrats, by the way, on the promotion. You totally deserve it.
Rainbow Dash: I say we blast him back to stone!
Applejack: Works for me!
Rarity: Hear, hear!
Fluttershy: Hey! We can't do that! What if he really is telling the truth?
Discord: Well, finally! Somepony willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. The rest of you could learn a lot about friendship from my dear friend Shutterfly here.
Fluttershy: Um, it's Fluttershy.
Discord: Oh, right, whatever.
Twilight Sparkle: If you're not the one responsible, then help us figure out who is!
Discord: I suppose I could, but after all the hoof pointing and besmirching of my good name, I just don't know if I'm up to it.
[knitting needles clacking]
Twilight Sparkle: Rrrgh!
Discord: Why don't you ask your zebra friend if she knows anything?
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora!
Zecora: From my home, I have had to flee! The forest has grown too wild, even for me!
Applejack: Any idea why all this is happenin'?
Zecora: I'm afraid it is a mystery to me as well, but I may have something that, if combined with a spell... I do not dare to use it myself, the results would be tragic. It only responds to Alicorn magic. Princess Twilight, you can turn the potion from purple to white. After a sip, you may see why the sky is day and night.
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
Pinkie Pie: Oooh!
Twilight Sparkle: [drinking] Doesn't seem to be worki-
Twilight Sparkle: Where am I?
Princess Luna: Not... another step!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna! I don't understand. Where are we? Why did you and Celestia disappear?
Princess Luna: Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?
Twilight Sparkle: Precious light?
Princess Luna: There can only be one princess in Equestria! And that princess... will be me!
[rumbling]
Nightmare Moon: [evil laughter]
[To be continued...]
[credits]

Princess Twilight Sparkle - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Royal Guard: It's Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.
Spike: They're missing!
Twilight Sparkle: The Everfree Forest is... invading. I think I'm starting to get a pretty good idea of who we're up against.
Discord: I'm reformed. Don't you remember? Why don't you ask your zebra friend?
Zecora: You can turn the potion from purple to white. You may see why the sky is day and night.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna!
Princess Luna: There can only be one princess in Equestria! And that princess will be me!
Nightmare Moon: [laughing]
[theme song]
Nightmare Moon: [laughing]
[crashing]
Twilight Sparkle: Luna! Think of how long you were banished to the moon! You'll give us no choice but to send you back there if you don't stop!
Princess Celestia: Luna, I will not fight you! You must lower the moon! It is your duty!
Nightmare Moon: Luna? I am... Nightmare Moon! I have but one royal duty now: to destroy you! And where do you think you're going?
Princess Celestia: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Celestia!
Nightmare Moon: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: No... Why would Luna do this? Why now? [crying] You're all right. You're all right! Princess Celestia?
Princess Celestia: Oh, dear sister. I am sorry, but you have given me no choice but to use these.
[rumbling and clanking]
Twilight Sparkle: Are those the Elements of Harmony? But that's how they looked in... the past. This is the night you banished her.
Nightmare Moon: Nooooooo!
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you all looking at me like that?
Applejack: It's just... you were mumblin' to yourself...
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! And don't forget the uncontrollable sobbing!
Fluttershy: We were really worried about you.
Discord: I for one found it delightful. Sort of a one-pony theater piece, if you will. You should really consider taking it on the road.
Rainbow Dash: Did you find out whose rump we need to kick and where we can find them?
Twilight Sparkle: I saw something from a long time ago. But it didn't explain what's happening now.
Zecora: Perhaps farther back still are the answers you seek. Another sip of the potion will give you a peek.
Spike: You sure about this?
Twilight Sparkle: [gulping]
Discord: Oh, I do hope she breaks into a song this time!
Discord: Oh, this is so much fun. How about a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'?
Princess Celestia: [gasp] Play time is over for you, Discord.
Discord: Oh, I doubt that. [munching] Hungry? Suit yourselves. Oh! What have you got there?
Princess Celestia: The Elements of Harmony.
Princess Luna: With them, we shall defeat you.
Twilight Sparkle: This must be when they turned Discord into stone.
Discord: [laughing] You should see yourselves right now. The expressions on your face. So intense. So sure of yourselves. [laughing] Hilarious!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Princess Luna: [gasp] The Tree of Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle: The Tree of Harmony? My cutie mark.
Princess Luna: Are you sure?
Princess Celestia: We have managed to discover the only means by which we can defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria. Even without these elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic. As long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here.
Spike: So what did you find out?
Twilight Sparkle: I still don't know what's happened to Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, but I think I know why the Everfree Forest is acting this way. Something's happened to the Tree of Harmony.
Rainbow Dash: The tree of what now?
Twilight Sparkle: It's where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna found the Elements. I think it's in danger.
Applejack: Well, all right then! Let's go save a... tree. Uh... where is it exactly?
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's in... there.
Discord: Ooh-hoo! I'm going to need more popcorn!
Rarity: Seems like only yesterday we were heading into these woods to find the Elements of Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle: Seems like only yesterday I was foolish enough to think I should go after them on my own. I don't know what we're going to face in there. But whatever it is, I know we need to face it together.
All: [agreeing]
Twilight Sparkle: We can use those to cross. [yelps]
Rarity: [gasps] A cragadile! Run for your lives!
Cragadile: [roars]
Main 6 sans Twilight: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: That was close.
Applejack: [sighs] A little too close, if you ask me. You sure you're all right?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fine. I just can't seem to get these new wings to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, you'll figure it out eventually.
Twilight Sparkle: "Eventually" isn't soon enough.
Applejack: You have been having an awful lot of trouble with those things. And, well, who knows what else is gonna to come after us? You know, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for Twilight to go back to Ponyville and let us look for the Tree of Harmony without her.
Twilight Sparkle: What? Why?
Applejack: For starters, you just about got eaten by a cragadilly.
Twilight Sparkle: We all did. He wasn't after just me.
Applejack: Sure, but... well, the rest of us aren't princesses.
Twilight Sparkle: What's that got to do with anything?
Applejack: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are gone. If something happened to you, I-I just don't think Equestria can risk losing another princess.
Rarity: Applejack does make a valid point. Even if we manage to save the Tree of Harmony, it won't necessarily mean Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will return. Equestria will need somepony to lead in their absence.
Twilight Sparkle: But the Tree of Harmony! I'm the only one who has seen it and knows what it looks like.
Rainbow Dash: Huge tree, cutie marks on the trunk, probably being attacked by something hideously awful? Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll know it when we see it.
Twilight Sparkle: All of you feel this way? Feel like I shouldn't be here?
Fluttershy: It is probably for the best.
Discord: [humming]
Cherry Berry and Comet Tail: Help! Help!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord!
Discord: You're welcome! Hmph. No luck finding your tree?
Twilight Sparkle: We ran into some trouble. And my friends decided it would be best if I returned to Ponyville while they continue the search. Equestria will need me if Princess Celestia and Princess Luna don't return.
Discord: I'm just surprised that you agreed to their plan. I never thought you'd be the kind of pony who would think she was better than everypony else.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think I'm better than anypony!
Discord: Oh, well, how silly of me to assume that you would think that. All you did was choose to keep your precious princess self out of harm's way while your friends thrust themselves right into it. I'm sure you'll all be the best of pals again when they return from their terrifying yet deeply bonding experience that they're having without you. [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: I never should have agreed to come back here.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Discord may be reformed, but he's not that reformed. He's just trying to get under your skin.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it's working!
Rainbow Dash: Anypony else starting to think this is a lost cause? We're almost at Celestia and Luna's old castle. Maybe whatever Twilight saw when she took that crazy potion wasn't real. Maybe there is no Tree of Harmony. Maybe–
Applejack: Maybe it's right down there.
Rainbow Dash: [gasp] It can't be!
Rarity: How are we supposed to get to it?
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Oof! Ugh! Take the stairs, silly!
Spike: Are we there yet?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know where we are. We're lost. I never should have left my friends.
Spike: We can't just give up. Maybe if I get up there, I'll be able to spot 'em. Well, what do you know? Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [coughing]
Spike: [gasp]
Fluttershy: [gasp] I think it's dying!
Applejack: So let's save it already! [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Nice try. Heh- Whoa! Oof!
Rarity: Valiant efforts on both your parts, but the tree remains in jeopardy.
Applejack: And I suppose you've got a better idea? That's what I thought.
Fluttershy: I know who would know what to do. But we sent her home.
Rainbow Dash: It was your idea, Applejack!
Applejack: We all agreed it was the best thing, Rainbow Dash! We were tryin' to protect her.
Spike: Oof! Ow! Ugh!
[whinny]
Spike: Twilight! Trouble! Help!
Plant Crab: [screech]
Applejack: Listen here, you rabid rhododendrons! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!
Pinkie Pie: [blows party horn]
Plant Crab: [screech]
Rainbow Dash: Up here!
Pinkie Pie: Yoo-hoo! Come and get me!
Rarity: Don't forget about me!
Pinkie Pie: Ta-da!
Plant Crab: [roar]
Applejack: I sure am glad you came looking for us.
Twilight Sparkle: Not as glad as I am that you found me.
Rarity: The truth of it is, Twilight, we're simply lost without you.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Equestria may need its princess...
Fluttershy: ... But we need our friend.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] [yelps]
Princess Celestia: [voice over] Even without these elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic. As long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here.
Twilight Sparkle: I know how we can save the tree. We have to give it the Elements of Harmony.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa, heh. How are we supposed to protect Equestria?
Rarity: How are we meant to rein Discord in if we can't use the Elements to turn him back to stone?
Applejack: Twilight... The Elements of Harmony... They're what keep us connected no matter what.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right about one thing, Applejack. The Elements of Harmony did bring us together. But it isn't the Elements that will keep us connected. It's our friendship. And it's more important and more powerful than any magic. My new role in Equestria may mean I have to take on new responsibilities, and our friendships may be tested, but it will never, ever be broken. There's no time to lose. Everypony ready?
All except Twilight: Ready! [gasp]
[whirring]
Discord: [thud] Oh, poo.
Princess Celestia: We know how difficult it must have been for you to give up the Elements. It took great courage to relinquish them.
Twilight Sparkle: What's inside it? How am I supposed to open it?
Princess Luna: Six locks, six keys.
Princess Celestia: I do not know where they are. But I do know that it is a mystery you will not be solving alone.
[party horn]
Discord: Bravo, ladies, bravo! How ever did you save the day this time? Blast the beastie with your magic necklaces, I presume? Where are those little trinkets of yours? You know, the ones you use to send me back to my extremely uncomfortable stone prison?
Applejack: [sigh] Gone.
Discord: Gone? Gone?
Fluttershy: But our friendship remains. And if you want to remain friends, you'll stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking and help us clean up.
Discord: Fine. But I don't do windows.
Applejack: One thing I don't get. Why did all this happen now?
Discord: I have no idea. Those seeds I planted should have sprouted up ages ago.
Twilight Sparkle: What did you say?!
Discord: Oh, why should I try to explain it when you can see for yourself?
Twilight Sparkle: [gulping]
Princess Celestia: Play time is over for you, Discord!
Discord: Oh, I doubt that. [munching] Hungry? [voice over] Well, obviously things didn't go according to my original plan. My plunderseeds should have stolen the magic from the Tree of Harmony and captured Princess Celestia and Princess Luna thousands of moons ago. Alas, it seems the tree had enough magic to keep the seeds from growing up big and strong. Until now, that is.
Twilight Sparkle: You realize this is information we could have used hours ago?!
Discord: And rob you of a valuable lesson about being princess? What kind of friend do you think I am?
[snap]
[trumpet fanfare]
Princess Celestia: Citizens of Equestria, it is no longer with a heavy heart but with great joy that I raise the summer sun. For this celebration now represents not the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but the return of my sister, Princess Luna.
[ponies cheering]
[music]
[credits]

Castle Mane-ia

Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
[whap]
Spike: What's wrong, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, I've gone through every book in Ponyville, Spike, and there isn't a single mention of the mysterious chest that came from the Tree of Harmony, nor anything about keys to unlock it! But something tells me that opening it is pretty important. I hope Princess Celestia has some ideas. If the library in Canterlot doesn't have anything, I-I don't know where else to look!
Spike: [yelp] [belch]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] My dearest Twilight, while it would be perfectly lovely to have you in Canterlot once more, I have another option in mind much closer to Ponyville.
Princess Celestia: [voice over] As you know, the ancient castle that I once shared with Princess Luna lies mostly in ruins, deep in the Everfree Forest. But if you look carefully, you may find a book that could prove helpful to your research, hidden somewhere in what's left of the castle library.
Twilight Sparkle: [happy gasp] Wow! Look at all these ancient books! It's a veritable goldmine of information! I can't believe it! Woo-hoo!
Spike: Whoa, whoa-whoa! Oof! [yelp] Uh, heh-heh. So, uh, Twilight. Uh, ready to head home?
Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding? This place is perfect!
Spike: [teeth chattering]
[spiders scuttling]
[theme song]
[bees buzzing]
Rainbow Dash: I'm not gonna move. You move.
Applejack: Uh-uh. There is no way I'm movin'.
Pinkie Pie: This is the most daring dare anypony ever dared dare another pony to dare!
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: It's exciting!
[pop]
[bee buzzing]
Parcel Post: Uh, whatcha'll doing?
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash and Applejack are competing for the title of "Most Daring Pony"! This is the final test: the Bee Stare! Last pony to blink wins!
Parcel Post: ... I'm gonna need my bees back.
Rainbow Dash: But then we'll never find out who the Most Daring Pony is!
Parcel Post: Eh, sorry about that. [whistles]
[buzzing stops]
Applejack: Well, what do we do now?
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, ladies, I've been keeping excellent score all day! [quietly] Hmm, move the decimal, carry the 2, and... [aloud] Congratulations! You're tied!
Applejack: Tied?
Rainbow Dash: You can't be tied for the Most Daring Pony!
Pinkie Pie: I dunno! Numbers don't lie! I'd love to stay and keep keeping score, but I promised to help test the new school bell. I get to ring it all week, nonstop! And I don't even have to take turns, because no one else volunteered! [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, no problem. We just have to come up with another daring dare.
Applejack: Right. I think I might have an idea of what we can do.
Fluttershy: Um, Rarity? Don't you think it's a little late in the day to be walking through the forest? It is... star-spider season, after all. Though, I'm sure you have a very good reason.
Rarity: Simply the most important reason I've ever had in my entire life!
Fluttershy: Oh, well then I'm happy to help. What is it?
Rarity: I've heard rumors that the Castle of the Two Sisters is filled with the most gorgeous of ancient tapestries in all of pony history! It pains me to think of those magnificent creations rotting away in those old ruins, totally unappreciated.
Fluttershy: I see...
Rarity: I require your help in borrowing one or two to bring back to the boutique where I can restore them. Maybe I'll even use the patterns as the inspiration for a new line!
Fluttershy: That does sound... very important.
Rarity: Yes, well, [clears throat] maybe not the most important thing in my entire life, but retro-ancient classical will be all the rage next season, so it's nothing to sneeze at. [sneezes]
Fluttershy: Um, are you sure you need those tapestries?
Rarity: But, of course. Although, I must admit these ruins are a fright. Just look at all the dirt everywhere! Ugh...
Fluttershy: [gasp] Angel!
Rarity: Goodness! It's practically an artistic treasure trove of ancient good taste! [sigh]
Fluttershy: Angel! Oh, you really shouldn't have run off like that. Ancient ruins are filled with all sorts of things that can hurt you! You could stub your toe, or, or trip on a loose stone... You have to be careful!
Spike: I don't think I'll need all these candles, Twilight. I was really only scared for a second.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, these aren't for you, Spike. We're gonna be studying late into the night, and we're gonna need all the light we can get.
Spike: Oh, great.
Applejack: Well, here we are!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what's so daring about this place? This is where we got the Elements of Harmony.
Applejack: When I was just a filly, Granny Smith told me of an ancient legend. When Nightmare Moon was banished, not every last bit of her dark magic went with her. Granny used to say, when night falls on the castle, that magic takes the form of... the Pony of Shadows!
Rainbow Dash: You mean, like a ghost?
Applejack: [spookily] Nopony knows!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Rarity: [excited gasp] This one is perfect!
Fluttershy: Well, it certainly could use some restoration.
Rarity: Be a dear, fly up there and lift it off that hook?
Fluttershy: [grunts]
Rarity: [calling out] Maybe from below?
[clattering and shuffling]
Rainbow Dash: I don't see what's so daring about an old legend. Plus, I don't believe in ghosts.
Applejack: You might wanna rethink your position on that.
Fluttershy: [scared yelling]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [yelling] [screaming]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [screaming]
Applejack: You saw that, right?
Rainbow Dash: Run!
[clattering and shuffling]
Fluttershy: Ow... I think I hurt my wing.
Rarity: Oh, my dear, I am so sorry! That tapestry is far too heavy. We'll just have to find a smaller one.
Fluttershy: Oh, of course.
Rarity: Where, pray tell, did you disappear to?
Fluttershy: What do you mean?
Rarity: While you were struggling under that fabric, the entire wall spun around! You must have activated a secret door.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sorry.
Rarity: I suppose these ruins are chock full of them.
Fluttershy: Really?
Rarity: Absolutely. We must use the utmost care as we—
Fluttershy and Rarity: [yelp]
[clunk]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Okay, so, maybe the legend is true!
Applejack: Well, that's why I brought you here! I guess only the most daring pony of all could stay in this castle all night without being scared off.
[screech]
Rainbow Dash: Scared? I'm not scared!
Applejack: Well, m-me neither!
Rainbow Dash: Then it's settled! Whoever stays in the castle the longest is the Most Daring Pony.
Applejack: Deal.
[clop]
Rainbow Dash: But it's gonna take a lot more than some shadowy ghost pony to get me to leave.
Applejack: Me too! Humph!
Twilight Sparkle: Find anything, Spike?
Spike: Uh, nope. Nothing yet.
[boing]
Spike: Aaah!
Twilight Sparkle: Angel? What are you doing here?
[whoosh, clatter]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Whoa! [reading] The Journal of the Two Sisters. [gasp] Maybe this is the book Princess Celestia was talking about!
Rainbow Dash: I sure hope you're not afraid of the dark, Applejack!
Applejack: I can't say that I am! But even if I was, I'd be at least fifty percent less scared of it than you, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: I dunno how all that math works because I'm not scared at all!
Applejack: Me neither!
[whoosh]
Applejack: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: W-what's the matter? It's just a dark hallway full of... disembodied pony legs.
Applejack: Yeah. Nothin'... creepy about that.
Rarity: I'm starting to wonder if maybe this castle doesn't want my expertise!
Fluttershy: Oh dear. Angel? Rarity, have you seen him?
Rarity: I'm not sure he made the trip down with us, dear.
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! We have to find him. An ancient castle is no place for a bunny. He could get hit by falling debris, or the floor could give out under him! Oh! He could be trapped in a dark place with no way out!
Rarity: [flatly] I can only imagine how that might feel. Hmm...
Rainbow Dash: Applejack, if you're scared, you can just admit it. You don't need to put your hoof around me.
Applejack: Uh, I'm over here.
Rainbow Dash: [scream]
Applejack: [scream]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [both screaming]
Rarity: [gasp]
Fluttershy: Rarity! What is it?
Rarity: I felt something... alive!
Fluttershy: [gasp] Angel!
[rattle, spin]
Rarity: Well, tapestries or no, I have had just about enough of secret passages, mysterious presences, and unappreciative castles! [echoes]
Fluttershy: But we can't leave now, not with Angel lost somewhere in this dangerous old castle! He could be trapped under a crumbling statue, or stuck high in a tower without food or water or any friends at all!
Angel: [munching]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you've got to hear this. [reading] I love to duck behind the paintings, and though the Hall of Hooves still gives her a bit of a fright, the trap door slide is Luna's favorite.
Spike: "Hall of Hooves"?
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] Soon the Organ to the Outside will be finished. I can hardly wait.
Spike: What's the "Organ to the Outside"?
Twilight Sparkle: [happily] I have no idea!
[organ music]
[crash]
Applejack: You hear that?
Rainbow Dash: You mean, the creepy sound of a haunted pipe organ?
Applejack: Uh... maybe?
Rainbow Dash: [worried] I don't know what you're talking about!
[organ music, whinny]
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Did you hear something?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. Quit being such a scaredy-dragon. This castle is thousands of years old, and half of it was destroyed by Nightmare Moon. Of course it makes strange sounds. It's practically falling apart!
[clatter]
Angel: [giggles]
Spike: Oh... kay.
Fluttershy: [calling] Angel! Angel!
Rarity: I'm sure we'll find him.
Fluttershy: Angel?
Rarity: [hysterical yelling]
Fluttershy: Did you find Angel? Is he okay?
Rarity: [gasp] They are perfect! No castle in its right mind could possibly object to my restoring such exquisite works of art.
Fluttershy: Oh! They're lovely, Rarity, but... I have to keep looking for Angel. Oh, I hope he doesn't think I've given up on him.
Rarity: I'm right behind you! Won't... [grunts] be... [grunts] a moment!
Applejack: Do you think there's a single room in this castle that isn't filled with terrifying things?
[rattle]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [nervous laughter] It's just old pony armor. What's the big deal?
Applejack: Yeah! It's not like it's gonna come to life or anything. Right?
[organ note]
Applejack: Huh?!
[spinning]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[organ chord]
Rarity: [yelps]
[spinning]
Fluttershy: [screams]
[organ chord]
[carrot platform spins]
[organ broken chord]
Applejack: Whoa-oa!
[lightning and thunder]
Applejack: [screams]
Rarity: Oh! [screams]
[more ominous organ music with strings]
[crash of thunder]
Rarity: [groans, spits] Now, you look here, castle! You are very old and very scary! But your wall art is in an atrocious state!
[wind whistling]
Rarity: And there is nothing you can do to keep me from my sacred task of restoration!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Applejack? If you went back to Ponyville, that means I win, right?
[rattle, crash]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Fluttershy: [calling] Rarity! I know hiding isn't really your sense of humor, but please let this be a joke!
[light tap]
[loud organ chord]
Fluttershy: [panicked screaming, panting]
[spinning]
Applejack: [screams] [echoing] Rainbow? Hello? I guess if I don't find you, I win by default, right?
Rarity: [grunts] [grumbles] Of all the castles in Equestria, this is by far the most ungrateful!
[bonk]
Rarity: Oof!
[lightning]
Fluttershy: [whispered yelling] Angel! Rarity! Oh... I hope you two are together.
[rock sliding]
Applejack: [yells]
Rainbow Dash: Haunted statues, creepy armor... Come on, castle! Is that all you got?
[thunder]
Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [all screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Fluttershy: [screaming]
Applejack: [screaming]
[bonk]
Rarity: Aah! Aaaah! I was only trying to restore ancient art! [muffled crying]
[lightning]
Fluttershy: [whimpering] [gasp] Angel?
Applejack: [grunting]
[crash]
Fluttershy: AAANGEEEEEL!!!
[distant thunder]
Twilight Sparkle: What in the world is that?!
Spike: Oh, you know. Probably just more strange sounds of this old castle falling apart!
Twilight Sparkle: No one likes sarcasm, Spike.
[Twilight's friends yelling and screaming]
Spike: What got into them?
Fluttershy: [grunting] It's okay, Angel! You're okay! You're okay!
Applejack: Yaaaaah! Shadows everywhere!
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Rarity: [crying]
Fluttershy: [sobbing] Aaangeeeeel!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, everypony, stop!
Applejack: Twilight?
Fluttershy: Must... save... Ange—! ...Oh.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy? What are you doing here?
Rarity: She's with me...
[magic release]
Rarity: [gasps] Thank you.
Twilight Sparkle: Have you all spent the whole night running around, scaring each other?
Applejack: Well, that depends.
Twilight Sparkle: On what?
Rainbow Dash: On whether or not you're the Pony of Shadows.
Spike: What's... the Pony of Shadows?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, that's just an old ponies' tale.
[organ music]
Spike: Then who's playing... that?
Twilight Sparkle: We're going to find out.
[ominous organ music continues]
[all gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [whispered] The Pony of Shadows!
[organ player continues]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, you guys! Did you know I can totally play the organ? Because I didn't!
All: Pinkie?!
Pinkie Pie: Check it out!
[plays sports "Charge!" theme]
Rainbow Dash: You're the Pony of Shadows?
Pinkie Pie: [continues playing light melody] The pony of what?
Twilight Sparkle: See? What'd I tell ya?
Applejack: I thought you went to ring the school bell all week!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah! I only had to ring it for, like, five minutes! They said that was good enough! Eh, can't imagine why...
[bell ringing]
Pinkie Pie: So then, I decided to throw a "finish ringing the school bell" party! But I didn't have any bluebells, and you can't throw a "finish ringing the school bell" party without bluebells, so I went to Everfree Forest to pick some, but it started to get so chilly.
[plays happy organ music]
Pinkie Pie: I had to wrap myself up in the tarp I was gonna use to gather flowers, and then I saw Fluttershy and Rarity. But they went into the castle before I could invite them to my party. Luckily, I followed them inside so I could help you all with your party!
[stops playing]
Rarity: What party is that?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, the "everypony come to the scary old castle and hide from each other while I play the organ" party? [plays note]
[sproing, thud]
Pinkie Pie: Duh!
Rarity: I swear, this is going right back where I found it just as soon as I've returned it to its former glory.
Fluttershy: Now don't go running off again! Oh, I can't believe I was so frightened. Guess I let my imagination get the best of me.
Applejack: I think we all did.
Pinkie Pie: I always let my imagination run away from me! Then it comes back... with cake!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it's good to know that whenever your imagination is getting away from you, a good friend can help you rein it in. And even though I didn't find anything out about the mysterious chest, I'm glad I was here to help all of you.
Rarity: You certainly did that, Twilight.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Why weren't you scared?
Twilight Sparkle: Reading Celestia's diary made it hard to be afraid, because I knew what it was like when she and Luna lived here. Knowing something about the past made it easier to deal with my problems in the present, even the scary ones.
[remarks of agreement]
Twilight Sparkle: I've just thought of a great idea! Why don't we keep a journal, just like the royal pony sisters?
Fluttershy: All of us?
Twilight Sparkle: Sure! That way we can learn from each other! And maybe some day, other ponies will read it and learn something, too!
Rarity: What a splendid idea!
Applejack: I know what my first entry will be! "Dear Diary, I'm glad Granny Smith's legend wasn't true."
Rainbow Dash: Me too!
Pinkie Pie: Me three! Because that means you two are still tied for Most Daring Pony!
Spike: Heh, Shadow Ponies... How ridiculous is that?
[credits]

Daring Don't

Rainbow Dash: Four more months, four more months, four more months! I bet you're excited, huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, my. I, uh, I could be excited. I don't really know. I wasn't really think—
Rainbow Dash: Come on, you gotta be excited!
Fluttershy: Oh, well, I guess maybe I'm a little kinda sort of excited.
Rainbow Dash: I thought so!
Fluttershy: Yeah... So, um, why am I excited?
Rainbow Dash: Because the next Daring Do book is coming out exactly four months from today! That's how exciting it is! So what amazing, incredible, awesome adventure do you think Daring Do will have in her next book, huh?
Rainbow Dash: [voice over] Will she at long last stalk the Fortress of Talacon? Only to be forced to contend with its dreaded and impenetrable arrow defense? And if so, could her skill, quick wits, and courage possibly carry the day? Or will her next adventure bring her face to face with the vast and horrible Ahuizotl himself?!
Ahuizotl: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Would she cower, turn tail and run? Or would she fly at him, full bore, knowing full well against all odds that the greatest challenge she ever faced was still surely no match for—
Ahuizotl [with Fluttershy's voice]: [gasps] Look out!
[crash]
[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm not so sure she's gonna last another four months...
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: Three months and twenty six days, three months and twenty six days, three months and twenty six days! Heya, Twilight! Aren't you excited that—
Pinkie Pie: [blows party horn]
[party music playing]
Twilight Sparkle: So glad you've finally made it!
Rainbow Dash: What's everypony doing here?
Pinkie Pie: We're having a holiday party! [blows horn]
Rainbow Dash: So what holiday would today be?
Pinkie Pie: National Random Holiday Party Day! Woo-hoo!
Rarity: I've never heard of it either. [sips] But the punch is quite tasty.
Pinkie Pie: You might say the secret ingredient is... [whispering loudly] a secret! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: How come nopony bothered to invite me?
Applejack: I came to invite you personally, but it seems you were a speck too busy reading the last Daring Do book for the twelfth time.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, in three months and twenty six more days, I'll be able to read the next one.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, haven't you heard? The release of the next book got pushed another two months.
Rainbow Dash: [spit-take] Two more months?! I've been waiting so long already! I don't think I can take another two months! I'll never make it!
Fluttershy: Yeah. I can vouch for that...
Rainbow Dash: Did they give a reason?
Twilight Sparkle: The publisher just said author A.K. Yearling won't be able to finish the book for another two months. Cupcakes?
Rainbow Dash: [growls] How could you possibly know that before me? I'm the series' biggest fan!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm just as big a fan as you! In fact, I'm the one who first introduced you to the books, remember?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Right.
Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling just might be my favorite author. I know everything about her. Where she grew up, where she studied literature, where she wrote the first Daring Do book...
Rainbow Dash: Where she lives?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... no, though I could probably find out somehow. Why?
Rainbow Dash: Don't you get it? The new book is obviously delayed because she needs help dealing with whatever everyday nonsense is distracting her from spending her every living breathing second writing! So I– I mean, fans like me, can get to read the new book ASAP! Think about it! We could help her with her laundry, buy her groceries, cooking her meals, whatever! Now, who wouldn't appreciate that?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm, I don't know... What she probably wants most of all is respect for her privacy.
Rainbow Dash: She can always just say no.
Twilight Sparkle: Mmh... I suppose you're right...
Rainbow Dash: Of course I am. So... how's about getting that address?
Twilight Sparkle: You see what I mean? Why would she live in this remote part of Equestria except to keep folks from intruding on her privacy? We should respec—
Rainbow Dash: I think I spotted the house! We're super close! This way!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Oh no. What happened?
Rainbow Dash: Apparently somepony has intruded on her privacy pretty hard already...
[knocking]
[crash]
Applejack: Hoo-wee, somepony really trashed this place.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm... Maybe... or maybe A.K. Yearling's just a terrible, horrible, unbelievable slob!
Rarity: I hope A.K. Yearling's alright!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! What if something terrible happened to her?
Rainbow Dash: I know! There might be no more books! Uh... But, of course, I'd be worried about her, too. Heh.
A.K. Yearling: What are you all doing here?
Rainbow Dash: Uh... A... K-K... Yearling...? [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: We didn't do this! We swear!
A.K. Yearling: What have you done to my house?
Applejack: We didn't do this, Ms. Yearling— whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: We're awfully glad to see you're alright.
Rainbow Dash: [whistles] Okay, clearly this isn't the best time, but I've just gotta say how much we all really love your books... [laughs nervously]
[thud]
[clicking]
A.K. Yearling: [sighs] It's safe.
Rainbow Dash: Great! Maybe now would be a good time for me to ask her how we can help move the new book along a little faster. Chop chop!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, a minute please! A.K. Yearling has made it pretty clear that she wants to be left alone. We need to respect her wishes!
Pinkie Pie: You should tell that to those guys.
Henchponies: [exclamations]
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling is Daring Do!
Twilight Sparkle: A.K. Yearling and Daring Do are one and the same! My mind is officially blown!
Rainbow Dash: Aw, come on, I knew it all along.
[ring clanking]
Henchponies: [exclamations]
Applejack: Amazing!
Rarity: Incredible!
Pinkie Pie: Wow! So much action! Whee!
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do!
[grunting]
[ring settling]
Dr. Caballeron: Many thanks, Daring Do. As you've probably surmised, our earlier search for this treasure was... unsuccessful. So kind of you to find it for us.
Daring Do: [grunting] Give it back, Caballeron!
Dr. Caballeron: That's Doctor Caballeron to you.
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] He's from book four: Daring Do and the Razor of Dreams. He wanted to partner with Daring Do on her adventures.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, but she refused! I can't believe it! The real Daring Do and the real Caballeron!
Daring Do: So let me guess: Ahuizotl has put you up to this? You're stealing the ring to give to him so his hold on the Fortress of Talacon will be good for eight centuries as foretold by prophecy!
Dr. Caballeron: Close, but... no. I'm going to sell this to him, make a bundle, and retire from archaeology in splendor.
Daring Do: [grunting] Caballeron, you fool! You're dooming the valley to eight centuries of unrelenting heat!
Dr. Caballeron: To market, henchponies!
Daring Do: [grunting]
Fluttershy: Uh... should we go in and help her, maybe?
All except Fluttershy: Oh, right.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Are you okay?
Daring Do: I got this.
Fluttershy: Um, she was just trying to help, Ms. Do.
Daring Do: Daring Do doesn't need help. She handles her business herself.
Rainbow Dash: We've gotta go help!
Twilight Sparkle: You heard her! She says she works alone!
Rainbow Dash: How can we just stand by and do nothing? You know what's at stake here! Ahuizotl has sought control of the Tenochtitlan Basin since book three!
Twilight Sparkle: True, but in book four, she defeated Ahuizotl and secured control of the Amulet of Atonement, dispelling the dark magic of the Ketztwctl Empress, and thus protecting the basin with the Radiant Shield of Razdon!
Rainbow Dash: But the Radiant Shield of Razdon is vulnerable to the dark enchantment of the Rings of Scorchero!
Twilight Sparkle: But are you forgetting that the Rings were scattered to the four corners of Tenochtitlan, thus rendering the dark enchantment powerless?
Rainbow Dash: Only if you assume that the Rings have yet to be retrieved, and the ring Caballeron just stole isn't the last to completely restore the dark tower and its cruel hold on Tenochtitlan! Did you ever think of that?!
Pinkie Pie: You gotta admit, Rainbow Dash makes a pretty good point.
Rainbow Dash: We gotta help Daring Do retrieve the ring for safekeeping before it's too late!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Okay, but sounds to me like we're in way, way, way over our heads. We're going to need a carefully thought out plan...
Rainbow Dash: I'm coming, Daring Do!
Twilight Sparkle: That's not a plan!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, come on, come on... Bingo! Here I come, Daring Do! To join an adventure with the greatest, bravest, coolest, most incredible hero I could ever– [whimpers] Okay, maybe I just need a sec... Just another adventure. No big deal. [smack] Get a grip! I got this. Though, doing it alongside Daring Do... Wow! Maybe I could get my picture taken with her, or an autograph– [smack] There you go again. She's just a pony like any other pony. A pony who stops entire armies of bad guys with nothing more than her bare hooves, and an attitude, and—! [smack] Ow... That's starting to hurt.
Daring Do: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Yow! Stop!
Daring Do: Oh, it's just you.
Rainbow Dash: Wait, don't go! [to herself] Think fast. This is your big chance to impress her with your quick wit and courage. [nervously] I am suuuuuch a huge fan. [laughs nervously]
Daring Do: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Wait, wait, wait! Let me help you! I promise I could be a huge, huge help if you just give me a chance.
Daring Do: I. Work. Alone.
Rainbow Dash: But why won't you let me team up with you just this once?!
Daring Do: My work always involves secrets. And since you never know who you can trust, it's best never to trust anypony.
Rainbow Dash: But just because you can't trust some, doesn't mean nopony can be trusted!
Daring Do: Look, I don't have time to argue-
Rainbow Dash: Neither do I. Let's go!
Daring Do: [sighs] [under her breath] Can't believe I'm even talking to her...
[bushes rustling]
Rainbow Dash: Looks like they decided to have an early dinner before making their way back down the hill to the marketplace in town.
[digging noise]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I see. You're gonna ambush them like in book four at the Horavian caves! Or maybe, that neat trick you did in book three, where you swoop in and knock three guys down with one swing! Or maybe- [hushed] Okay. I'll be quiet now. Just watching very quietly, heh. Shh. So, what kind of ambush are you gonna use then?
[bits jingling]
Rainbow Dash: Wow!
[chewing noises]
[bits jingling]
Daring Do: [gravely voice] I have been led to believe you have in your possession an item of significant importance that might be... for sale.
Dr. Caballeron: Oh, uh, well... I did have another buyer lined up, but he's not here, so... sounds like we have a deal.
Ahuizotl: [roars] Caballeron!
Daring Do: Ahuizotl!
Ahuizotl: The ring!
Dr. Caballeron: [gasps]
[ring clanking]
Ahuizotl: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: Be cool, Rainbow Dash, be cool... she's got this!
Ahuizotl: The ring, Daring Do! Give it to me!
Daring Do: Now, Ahuizotl, you know I love you, but I can't give you the ring 'til I've properly proposed.
Rainbow Dash: [snickers]
Ahuizotl: [laughs] Interesting, because my friends here have a proposal of their own. [fingers click]
[big cats and kitten growling]
Daring Do: Bring it!
[big cats growling, punching noises, Daring Do grunting, etc.]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Daring Do, come on...
[Wilhelm scream]
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do! I've got your hat! You want me to toss it? Daring Do! Daring Do!
Daring Do: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [yelps]
[cats yowling]
Daring Do: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, Daring Do! I'll come help you! Whoa! Ow.
[thud]
Daring Do: Don't bother! I'd say you've already helped plenty.
Rainbow Dash: What have I done?
Rarity: [gasps] Thank goodness you're alright!
Twilight Sparkle: Quick, where does it hurt?
Rainbow Dash: In here. Daring Do and the ring have been captured by the dreaded Ahuizotl, and it's all my fault.
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Dash, I'm sure whatever you did was an honest mistake.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever. Let's just go home.
Applejack: We can't go back now! Looks a mite like she needs our help more than ever!
Rainbow Dash: Trying to help is how I got in this mess in the first place. You were right, Twilight. We should've stayed out of this.
Twilight Sparkle: Look, there is more going on here than meets the eye. In every Daring Do book, there always is! We can't turn our backs on her!
Rainbow Dash: She doesn't want my help, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Perhaps. But she might need it anyway.
Rainbow Dash: No. My hero's way better off without me.
Applejack: This don't sound like you.
Pinkie Pie: Where's the Rainbow Dash who would help anypony at the drop of a hat?
Rarity: Or pith helmet, as the case may be.
Rainbow Dash: She's here where she's got no business being. She should be at home.
Twilight Sparkle: It's fine to look up to Daring Do, but you've put her so high up on a pedestal, you can't even see your own worth anymore! She's in the fortress, and we're here, and we wouldn't be who we are if we didn't go in after her! And neither would you! So, are you with us, or not?
[underwater sounds]
Daring Do: Surrender now, Ahuizotl, or I'll be forced to take you down! [grunts]
Ahuizotl: [laughs] Oh, Daring Do, I will so miss your amusing laughter-jokes. Now, I must leave to commence the ring-placing ceremony to unleash eight hundred years of unrelenting, sweltering heat!
[water thundering]
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
Daring Do: [sounds of exertion]
[piranha jaws snapping]
Daring Do: [sounds of exertion]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha! [grunts] You can flap too, y'know!
[crushing rocks]
Daring Do: I was just about to save myself, y'know.
Rainbow Dash: Of course. I just thought you might need this.
Daring Do: Have I mentioned yet that I work alone?
Rainbow Dash: Have I mentioned yet that you're lucky I don't?
Daring Do: [sighs]
[rhythmic thudding]
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
Applejack: Drop the ring, Ahui... whatever your name is!
Ahuizotl: Hmph, place the ring, quickly! Get it!
[thuds, ring clanking, etc.]
Daring Do: Come with me! Help me get all these rings off!
Rainbow Dash: [straining noises]
[rings clinking]
Daring Do: [panting] If we can remove the giant ring at the bottom, the whole fortress will collapse!
Rainbow Dash: W-Was this your plan all along?
Daring Do: I had to find a way to get into the fortress.
Rainbow Dash: You did it on purpose?! But– but I thought—
Daring Do: I didn't count on how heavy this ring would be, though... Guess having a little help can be handy sometimes.
Ahuizotl: [laughs]
[rumbling]
Ahuizotl: Stop her!
Daring Do: [straining noises] You can flap too, y'know!
Rainbow Dash: [straining noises] Ponies! Run! This place is goin' down!
[Wilhelm scream]
[rumbling, crumbling]
Ahuizotl: Daring Do! I will have my revenge!
[shattering]
Daring Do: Could never have done this without you, Rainbow Dash. I've got a book to finish!
Rainbow Dash: Just had the coolest adventure with the coolest pony ever. Came this close to blowing it because I got so wrapped up in how awesome she was, I almost forgot about how awesome I was. Good thing I didn't, 'cause it gave me a chance to show her how important it is to put your trust in somepony else.
[knocking]
Messenger Pony: Package from A.K. Yearling.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! The new book a week before anypony else gets it! [inhales] Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
[credits]

Flight to the Finish

Cheerilee: Today, we have two special guests with a very special announcement! Everypony, welcome the head of the Equestria Games, Ms. Harshwhinny!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Thank you. Now, I'm sure you all know about the Equestria Games, where ponies from all over the land compete for glory in various athletic pursuits. Well, now you littlest ones will have the chance to compete for a weighty responsibility of your very own.
Rainbow Dash: [distant] Oh, come on! Tell 'em the fun part!
Students: [Oohing and ahhing]
Rainbow Dash: That's right! All you gotta do is show Ms. Harshwhinny the coolest, most spectacular, most rocking routine and you're going to the Games! So who's going to be the lucky ponies?!
Diamond Tiara: It's gotta be me!
Aura: Maybe it's me!
Scootaloo: Maybe it's us!
Snips and Snails: Maybe it's us!
[creaking]
[thud]
Snips: Hey! It could happen!
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: So, the winning team gets to carry the Ponyville flag at the Equestria Games! Oh, you are gonna love this!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Ms. Dash, will you please curb your over-enthusiastic outbursts? Now then, let me be clear on the rules. You ponies will form teams. Each team will create their own flag carrying routine. Everypony will be judged on grace, style and originality. There's a most complicated scoring system, which I will elaborate upon now. Firstly--
Rainbow Dash: Aw, get to the nitty-gritty later. Tell 'em the important stuff! Like who's the coach! [blows whistle] That's right! Me! And you know why I'm qualified to coach you? Guess who carried the Cloudsdale flag in the Games when she was a little filly? Me! I'll never forget it –- I burst into the stadium, spreading my wings, the flag flapping in the breeze. I did tricks with that flag the likes of which nopony saw before and nopony's seen since!
[thud]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Professionalism, Ms. Dash. I must insist. If you want to keep your job as coach of these ponies, you must maintain a professional attitude and keep your emotions in check! Am I making myself absolutely, one hundred percent crystal clear?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, Ms. Harshwhinny. Y'know, "professionalism" is my middle name. Rainbow Professionalism Dash.
Ms. Harshwhinny: Hmph! Well, in three days time, Ms. Dash will accompany anypony competing to the Crystal Empire, where you will demonstrate your routines for me and the other judges, who will judge you very professionally.
Rainbow Dash: Ahem. Yes. Quite, quite correct. In the meantime, get ready to train, and train hard, because I know this opening ceremony is the single most important thing that will ever happen in your young lives! But, I know you're up for the challenge. And so am I! Wooho-- Ahem... Meet me after school tomorrow at 1500 hours. Sharp. And show me your flag carrying skills. I am outta here. Professionally. See how professionally?
Ms. Harshwhinny: Ugh. Ponies, the most important thing is this: Your routine needs to show what your town means to you. So, do Ponyville proud. Work hard, be bold, wow me. That is all!
[school bell rings]
[foals talking]
Scootaloo: So what do you say we come up with the perfect routine and win this thing?
Apple Bloom: I'd say that's rootin'-tootin' terrific!
Sweetie Belle: But there's one problem! I bet everypony in class is planning to compete!
Scootaloo: Listen. Somepony in our class is gonna carry that flag, so it might as well be us! Crusaders, are you in or are you in? 'Cause I'm in!
Apple Bloom: Me too!
[beat]
Sweetie Belle: Me three!
Scootaloo: Alright, the winning routine needs to show what's important about Ponyville, right?
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Right!
Scootaloo: So... what's special about Ponyville? It's... It's... I got it! It's a place where different kinds of ponies live together as friends!
Apple Bloom: Earth ponies like me!
Sweetie Belle: Unicorns like me!
Scootaloo: And Pegasi like me! So somehow we got to figure out a way to show that in our act.
Sweetie Belle: We're gonna need a plan.
Apple Bloom: And a lot of hard work!
Scootaloo: And a whole bunch of practice! But take it from me; we may just be little ponies, but we have hearts as strong as horses!
[Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle]
We're the toughest little ponies in town
Got the moves, got the mojo, no harder working ponies around
We are a trio, work as a team
We'll be the first ponies out on the flag-waving scene
We get going when the going gets tough
We know our very best is just never enough
We're kinda short, but so what? We don't get defeated
We could take a little break, but we don't need it
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hea-a-a-arts, hearts strong as horses
When we put our minds together, we can achieve
We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and you should believe
We've got determination to represent the nation
For the win
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
And we're playing to win as we gallop to glory
We can conquer any challenge we're in
We've got hea-a-a-arts, hearts strong as horses
Hearts strong as horses
Crusaders: Whoa!
[thud]
Crusaders: Oof!
[clapping]
Diamond Tiara: If that's the best you've got, we're going to win for sure.
Silver Spoon: We already have the most divine routine planned.
Diamond Tiara: It's absolutely sure to crush everyone else – and I mean crush.
Scootaloo: But we're winners! And we have [starts singing] hearts--
Silver Spoon: Sure. But you know what you don't have?
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Your cutie marks! Blank flanks, blank flanks, blank flanks!
Apple Bloom: What does that have to do with flag carryin'?
Silver Spoon: Having cutie mark-less ponies represent Ponyville would be unthinkable.
Diamond Tiara: And we, of course, already have our cutie marks. So we know who's gonna be in the winner's circle.
Scootaloo: Listen, you two! Cutie marks or no cutie marks, you'll see! The Crusaders are gonna carry that flag at the Games.
Silver Spoon: May the best ponies win!
Scootaloo: Game on!
Rainbow Dash: Show me what you got, Cutie Mark Crusaders, and make it good!
Scootaloo: Don't worry, we will!
Sweetie Belle: Now, this is just a little something we threw together. It's not perfect yet, not even close.
Diamond Tiara: Let's watch the Cutie Mark "Goof-saders" do their saddle routine.
Silver Spoon: They're gonna be a hot mess!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [giggling]
Scootaloo: Since the dawn of recorded time, in one town of amazing amazingness, three types of ponies coexist!
Apple Bloom: We are Earth ponies!
Sweetie Belle: We are unicorns!
Scootaloo: We are Pegasi! And the town where friendship reigns is our home. Now, welcome to the stadium, the flag of the place we love best...
Crusaders: Ponyville forever! Yay!
Scootaloo: It's kind of a work in progress. So? What did you think?
Rainbow Dash: That was ama-- [in her head] Wait. Hold on now. Gotta stay calm, cool and collected. [out loud] To give a calm, clear analysis-- Wait. You whipped that act together just yesterday?! That is-- [in her head] Professionalism, Dash, keep those emotions in check! [out loud] Overall, it was... kinda, sorta... [quickly] Overall, it was okay. Keep working hard. Who knows? You might have a shot. Gotta go!
Apple Bloom: Do y'all think she liked it?
Sweetie Belle: I'm not really sure.
Scootaloo: You heard her! If we keep working hard, we might have a shot! So let's keep working! Trot to it, ponies!
Diamond Tiara: Did you see that?! I can't believe I'm saying this. They could win!
Silver Spoon: But how do we stop them? We already called them blank flanks!
Diamond Tiara: Then we need to find a new way to get under their skin. Or maybe... get under their wings.
Diamond Tiara: Girls, we just wanted to say your act is quite impressive!
Sweetie Belle: Wait... What?
Apple Bloom: Um... Thanks?
Silver Spoon: Oh, but of course. As a matter of fact, we think you're very brave.
Scootaloo: Brave? Why?
Diamond Tiara: Isn't it obvious? It is to us. In fact, it's obvious to everypony. You're showing all three types of Ponyville ponies, yet you have a Pegasus pony...
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: ...who can't even fly!
Apple Bloom: What in tarnation does that have to do with anything?
Silver Spoon: I'd say not even being able to fly has everything to do with everything. Doesn't it?
Diamond Tiara: I mean, a Pegasus pony at your age? You should've been flying long ago.
Scootaloo: So what if my wings can't get me off the ground?
Diamond Tiara: Your career as a flag carrier isn't getting off the ground either.
Silver Spoon: Ms. Harshwhinny will never pick a Pegasus pony who can't fly to represent Ponyville in front of all of Equestria.
Sweetie Belle: Ms. Harshwhinny never said anything about that!
Silver Spoon: I would've thought that was obvious.
Diamond Tiara: Well, have fun practicing anyway, even if your routine will never—how shall I say—take off!
Sweetie Belle: Don't listen to them, Scootaloo. Scootaloo? You okay?
Scootaloo: This routine isn't working how it is. We've gotta rethink my part in the whole thing.
Sweetie Belle: What?
Apple Bloom: Why?
Scootaloo: If we wanna win, I'm gonna have to fly!
Sweetie Belle: Is that even possible?
Apple Bloom: And by tomorrow?
Scootaloo: Maybe I can win if I work twice as hard. See? Oof! Maybe... three times as hard.
Apple Bloom: Golly, I don't know, Scootaloo, I don't think that's the problem.
Scootaloo: Well, I know this for sure – flying is the only way we're gonna win, so it's back to practice!
Sweetie Belle: Is this a good idea?
Scootaloo: Whoaaaaa!
[thud]
Scootaloo: I'll just work four times as hard!
Apple Bloom: Probably not.
Scootaloo: [sighs] Guys, guys, guys! Try it again!
Apple Bloom: [yawns] But we've been rehearsin' all the livelong day! We're gettin' tired!
Scootaloo: Fine! We'll skip to my big impressive flying entrance. So you've done the do-si-do to the left, then to the right, and then there's the hoop. Then I come in--
[thud]
Scootaloo: Not quite what I had in mind. We'll just... try that part again. [straining noises]
Apple Bloom: [hushed] I liked the routine the way it was!
Sweetie Belle: [hushed] Me too! But all she cares about now is flying!
Scootaloo: Don't worry, I'll be flying high tomorrow on our final run-through for Rainbow Dash. I'm gonna get this, you'll see. [straining noises]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, Cutie Mark Crusaders, this is your final run before you show it at the stadium tomorrow. I know you're gonna absolutely, positively-- have a lot of fun, heheh. Okay, go! [blows whistle]
Scootaloo: [panting] Ponyville! Home of the, um...
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [hushed] Friendship!
Scootaloo: Ah, friendship, right! Uh, there are four-- no, three kinds of ponies.
Apple Bloom: [yawns]
Sweetie Belle: [hushed] Left, left!
Apple Bloom: [hushed] I'm sorry! I'm just tired! And then I dip, and then we turn, and-- Sorry!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [straining noises]
[boing]
[thud]
Scootaloo: Ta-da! Oof! [panting] So? What'cha think?
Rainbow Dash: That's... y'know... good and all, heheh... I just thought... maybe possibly you might wanna go back to, say, the first version of the act, which was, I dunno, what's the word, better? Just do the routine as it was! Don't mess with success, right? Seriously. Now I need to... go coach these other ponies! And don't forget, we've got to catch the early train for the Crystal Empire. See you in the morning!
Scootaloo: What are we gonna do?! We're competing tomorrow, and I still can't fly! Unless...
Sweetie Belle: I'm just too tired! I can't keep going!
Apple Bloom: Me too! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and now I hate this routine! It feels like it's all about you now!
Sweetie Belle: She's right. It's like you don't even need us anymore!
Scootaloo: Of course I need you! Without you two, who's gonna hold up the hoop?
Apple Bloom: Rrgh! You don't listen to yourself! Forget it. I'm goin' home to get some sleep.
Scootaloo: So? Are you gonna leave me too?
Sweetie Belle: We've gotta catch the early train to the Crystal Empire. I'd better get some rest. See you in the morning, Scootaloo.
Scootaloo: Come on, Scootaloo! Do it for Ponyville! Just got to try twenty times as hard! [straining noises] Thirty times as hard...! Oof! Just... a little... harder!
[thud]
Scootaloo: [straining noises] [sighs] I can't fly. I just... can't.
Train conductor: Crystal Empire! All aboard!
Sweetie Belle: Scootaloo? Where is she?
Apple Bloom: She'd better get here soon! This here train is about to leave!
Scootaloo: Here I am...
Apple Bloom: We were scared you were gonna miss the train!
Scootaloo: I... I'm not going.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: What?!
Scootaloo: I'm the weak link. If I go, and fall, flop, or do anything but fly, I'm gonna blow it for you two.
Sweetie Belle: I can't believe you're quitting on us!
Scootaloo: But you're better off without me!
Sweetie Belle: But that's not true, Scootaloo!
Apple Bloom: You know what, Sweetie Belle? Forget it. If she's gonna quit, we don't want her, and we don't need her!
Scootaloo: Fine!
Apple Bloom: Fine!
Sweetie Belle: Fine...
Train conductor: All aboard!
[train puffing]
[train whistle blowing]
Rainbow Dash: How's my favorite routine going today? Oh, I just can't keep it in! I want you to win so bad! [to the BGM] Bom, bom, bom, bom... and then Scootaloo does that [half-whistles] through the hoop!
Apple Bloom: Well, there ain't gonna be a Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle: She's staying home.
Rainbow Dash: She's what?!
Apple Bloom: She got it in her head that the only way to represent Ponyville was by flyin' in our routine! When she couldn't do it, she told us that she was quittin'.
Rainbow Dash: And then you tried to stop her from doing that, right?
Sweetie Belle: Well, actually, we kinda told her...
Apple Bloom: ...uh, that we didn't want a quitter.
Rainbow Dash: Hang on. Are you nuts?! You're a team, and a team never leaves a friend behind!
[ding]
[brakes squealing]
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Diamond Tiara: Sorry you can't make it! We'll take a picture for you from the winner's circle!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing, under]
Sweetie Belle: I do not like them one bit.
Rainbow Dash: Put on some speed, girls!
[ripping noises]
[clang]
Rainbow Dash: Throwing away your scooter?!
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Yup, but not just me.
Scootaloo: I don't wanna see them. And what are they doing here, anyway? They're supposed to be on the train.
Apple Bloom: We're not goin'.
Sweetie Belle: Not without you, Scootaloo.
Rainbow Dash: What's gotten into you, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: I didn't want to ruin their chance to win just because I couldn't fly.
Rainbow Dash: And who said you had to?
Scootaloo: But flying's what Pegasus ponies are supposed to do! You flew when you carried the flag in the games!
Rainbow Dash: But that was me! You're you! And it just doesn't matter if you can fly or not. Your routine was amazing 'cause it represented exactly what makes Ponyville special. You do still know what that is, right?
Sweetie Belle: Friendship.
Apple Bloom: Three kinds of ponies livin' together as friends. Just like us. Earth ponies...
Sweetie Belle: ...unicorns...
Scootaloo: ...and Pegasi. But Rainbow Dash... what if... what if my wings never grow? What if I never fly?
Rainbow Dash: Listen, Scootaloo. Maybe you'll fly someday, or maybe you won't. You're all kinds of awesome anyway. Who's the toughest little pony in town?
[Sweetie Belle]
Got the moves, got the mojo...
[Apple Bloom]
No harder working pony around.
[Scootaloo]
We are a trio, work as a team
[Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle]
We'll be the first ponies out on the flag-waving scene
Scootaloo: So let's get to the Crystal Empire and let's do the routine as it was! And let's win this thing!
[Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle]
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
We've got hearts as strong as horses
And we're playing to win as we gallop to glory
We can conquer any challenge we're in
We've got hea-a-a-arts, hearts strong as horses
Hearts strong as horses
[crowd cheering]
Crusaders: Ponyville forever! Yay!
[microphone feedback]
Ms. Harshwhinny: [through microphone] In the Equestria Games, the Ponyville flag will be carried by... 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'!
[crowd cheering]
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [groaning]
Rainbow Dash: Ahem. Look. What you three did was... acceptable.
Ms. Harshwhinny: Acceptable? Acceptable?! Why, it was totally stupendously the single most amazing thing I've ever seen! [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Contain your excitement, Ms. Harshwhinny. Remember – professionalism.
Ms. Harshwhinny: Ahem. Y-Yes, well, I- [laughs nervously]
Rainbow Dash and Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: You know what this means, right?
Apple Bloom: What?
Scootaloo: We are totally gonna get cutie marks in flag-carrying!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Crusaders: [laughing]
[credits]

Power Ponies

[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you really need to go to sleep!
Spike: Aw, two more minutes, Twilight! I'm just getting to the really good part! The Mane-iac is about to—
Twilight Sparkle: "The Mane-iac"?
Spike: The Power Ponies' most evil nemesis! She was the power-mad owner of a hair-care product company. A tragic accident at her shampoo factory in Maretropolis not only gave her mane strange new powers, but also caused her to go completely insane! She and her henchponies are planning to break into the Maretropolis Museum and steal the Electro-Orb, so she can use it to power up her doomsday device! Of course, the Mane-iac wouldn't have even known if Hum Drum hadn't slipped up and told her all about it.
Twilight Sparkle: Hum Drum?
Spike: Nah, the guy in the blue boots and pointless red cape. The Power Ponies' bumbling and totally useless sidekick. The Power Ponies have to stop the Mane-iac or Maretropolis is doo-hoo-hoo-hoomed!
Twilight Sparkle: Believe me, Spike. If anypony understands what it's like to get caught up in a really good book, it's me. But if we're going to make any progress fixing up Luna and Celestia's old castle tomorrow, we all have to do our part. We don't want to be too tired to lend a hoof... or claw.
Spike: Okay, okay, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
[click]
[patting]
Twilight Sparkle: Two more minutes.
Spike: Yes!
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Looking good, everypony! Let's keep this magical makeover moving!
Rainbow Dash: You got it!
Spike: Good old Spike is here, ready to do his part!
Pinkie Pie: A little more to the left! No, the other left! [quickly] Awesome! That's perfect right where it is! On to the next painting!
Spike: You sure you don't need any help?
Applejack: Nah, that's okay.
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] We have everything under control!
Spike: Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I'm good!
Spike: [sighs] Isn't there anything I can help you with, Twilight?
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] Don't worry about it, Spike! It's all good!
Twilight Sparkle: I think she's right. It looks like we've got it, Spike. Looking great, everypony! Why don't you find a quiet spot and finish reading your comic? Aren't you right at the part where Hum Drum was about to stop the villain?
Spike: Hum Drum never stops the villain. He's just there for comic relief. [splash and clatter] [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, lemme give you a hoof with that!
Spike: I could do it!
Twilight Sparkle: That's okay, Spike.
Pinkie Pie: Pony power! Weehee!!
Spike: [sigh]
[bucket clatters]
Spike: [to himself] Mane-iac breaks into the museum... Okay, here we go. ...Ugh, what a surprise! Hum Drum is in the way again while the Power Ponies do all the work! I guess I know what that feels like... [gasps] Wait. What? How can that be the end?! What's... that? "You can... retr-" What? "You can... return..." Urgh! I know I saw a magnifying glass laying around the last time I was here...
Applejack: Spike! Where are ya, Spike?
Rarity: We're breaking for tea and biscuits!
Rainbow Dash: Spike!
Spike: [reading] "You can return to the place you started when the Mane-iac is... defeated." Huh? "Take a closer look to join the adventure in this book"? What does that even mean? Whoa! Cool!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! What are you—
Spike: Heeeeeelp!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! [straining noises]
Rainbow Dash: [straining noises]
Fluttershy and Rarity: [gasps] [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: Weehee!
Spike: Is this... Maretropolis?
Applejack: Somepony wanna tell me what the hay is goin' on?
Spike: Holy new personas, ponies! You're the... Masked Matter-Horn! Fili-Second! Zapp! R-Radiance! Mistress Mare-velous! Saddle Rager! You're the... Power Ponies!
[thud]
[whipping noises]
Mane-iac: Power Ponies! [laughs] How kind of you to join us!
Main cast: Huh?
Mane-iac: [evil laughter]
Mane-iac: [evil laughter]
Applejack: Did she just call us... Power Ponies?
Spike: You're the... the superheroes from my comic book! It somehow zapped us all in here!
Rainbow Dash: So somepony zap us back out!
Spike: My comic book! It said the way to get back to where we started was to defeat the Mane-iac! Your arch-nemesis!
Mane-iac: Time for the mane event!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie! Where'd she go?!
Pinkie Pie: Wheeeeeeee!
Spike: She could be miles away from here by now! Pinkie is Fili-Second, the fastest pony in all of Maretropolis!
[whipping noise]
[clang]
Applejack: Whoa! [straining noises]
Mane-iac: [cackles]
Spike: Twilight! Freeze her mane!
Twilight Sparkle: Do what?
Spike: You're the Masked Matter-Horn! You can shoot all kinds of crazy power beams from your horn!
[magic fizzling out]
Mane-iac: You know, I'm beginning to enjoy this. [cackles]
Main cast: [gasps]
[thud]
Spike: Dash! Quick! You're Zapp, and your superpower is controlling the mighty forces of nature! Unholster the lightning bolt!
[electricity crackling]
[lightning cracking]
Spike: Lightning, not a tornado!
Pinkie Pie: [yelps]
Main cast: [yelping]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa-whoa!
Main cast: [screaming]
Spike: Fluttershy! You're Saddle Rager! Lose your temper, and you'll turn into a huge, super-strong monster!
Fluttershy: Oh, gosh! That wouldn't... be very... polite!
Spike: Ugh! Rarity! Use your jewelry to create attack constructs!
Rarity: What's an attack construct?!
Spike: Just think of something, anything, and your bracelet makes it appear!
[smashing crockery]
Spike: Something useful!
[thud]
Spike: The Electro-Orb!
Mane-iac: Well, this has been quite the mane-raising experience. But I really must be going. [laughs]
[thud]
Mane-iac: Why, thank you, Hum Drum! [evil laughter]
[whipping noises]
Spike: I'm Hum Drum...?! Oh no... [straining noises] Applejack! You gotta... help stop the... tornado from destroying.. the city!
Applejack: But every time I move, this darn lasso gets tighter!
Spike: You're psychically connected to it! Will it to where you want it to go, and it'll obey you!
[lasso whipping]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] That was spin-tastic!
Applejack: Lemme get this straight: We've been sucked into some kind of comic-book world?
Spike: Technically, it's called Maretropolis. And if we wanna get back to Ponyville, I think we have to stop the Mane-iac from using her doomsday device to destroy it!
Rainbow Dash: No biggie. I was already awesome. And now we've all got superpowers!
Spike: Almost all of us have superpowers...
Rarity: But you must have them too, Spikey-boo. Your character is wearing a cape!
Spike: Yeah, for absolutely no reason. He's pretty much useless...
Twilight Sparkle: Good thing you're not really Hum Drum, then.
Spike: Yeah, good thing...
Rainbow Dash: So the six of us Power Ponies will take care of Mane-iac, and get us back to Ponyville!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, where is the Mane-iac building her doomsday device?
Spike: Her top-secret headquarters! But you'd better get there quick. That glowing orb she just stole is what she's going to use to power it up!
Applejack: Lead the way, Spike!
Rainbow Dash: Then leave the rest to us!
Spike: [sighs]
[neon light humming]
Spike: There it is!
Applejack: Is that a... shampoo factory?
Twilight Sparkle: All right, Power Ponies, here's the plan. Rarity, you, me and—
Rainbow Dash: Come on out, Mane-iac! Or the Power Ponies are comin' in!
[thunder crash]
Twilight Sparkle: So much for "element of surprise".
Spike: Guess I'll just hang back here doing nothing.
[electricity crackling]
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't think she's home. Maybe we should just come back later.
Mane-iac: [evil laughter]
Rarity: She's home.
[garage door opening]
Applejack: Time to Power Pony up!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Nice catchphrase!
Twilight Sparkle: Freeze ray!
[thwap]
Rarity: It's an improvement, darling.
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
[banging]
[crash]
Rarity: Ooh, I do so love a functional accessory!
Fluttershy: [whimpering]
[lightning strikes]
Henchpony: My hair!
Rainbow Dash: Seriously? You aren't even just a little angry right now?
Twilight Sparkle: Nice work, Power Ponies! Now let's take care of the Mane-iac and get ourselves home!
Mane-iac: I don't think so! I have a city to destroy, and I'm not about to let the Power Ponies stop me! Not this time!
Rainbow Dash: Just watch us!
Spike: The Hairspray Ray of Doom! It stops you in your tracks and renders your powers useless!
[hairspray hissing]
[clunk]
Rarity: We'll just see about that!
[hairspray hissing]
[ice cracking]
[tink]
Mane-iac: [evil laughter]
Spike: Fluttershy, please! Just a little anger?!
Fluttershy: Well, I'm not so much angry as I am concerned, bordering on terrified!
[hairspray hissing]
Spike: Don't spray!
Mane-iac: [cackles] Oh, Hum Drum, why in all of Maretropolis would I use the Hairspray Ray of Doom on you? Rather pointless, don't you think?
Main cast: [shouts of concern]
[door slamming]
[clang]
Spike: What am I supposed to do? I'm useless. No wonder my friends never need me to do anything important. They're the ones with superpowers. They've probably already figured out how to escape.
[clang]
Spike: Or not!
[cracking]
[timer ringing]
[hairspray hissing]
[cracking]
Mane-iac: Congratulations, Power Ponies! [laughs] You shall live just long enough to see me fire... the instrument of your destruction! [cackles] Once the Electro-Orb has powered it up completely, this cannon will amplify the power of my mane one million times, expelling an energy blast that will cause everypony in Maretropolis's mane to grow wild! [laughs] You will be my weapon's first victims, and there is nopony who can save you from this fate! [evil laughter]
Fluttershy: Ahem. I don't mean to interrupt, but aren't you forgetting about somepony?
Mane-iac: Hum Drum? Little guy? No superpowers whatsoever? [laughs] He's utterly useless!
[timer ringing]
[hairspray hissing]
Mane-iac: Puh-lease. Everypony knows you just keep him around because you [condescending tone] feel sowwy for him. Wah. Wah.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe in your world. But in our world, Spike— uh, Hum Drum always comes through when we need him! Always!
Rest of Power Ponies: [agreements]
Spike: I'm not like Hum Drum! When my friends really need me, I do come through! And they need me now!
Mane-iac: [laughs] I see dementia must be a side-effect of prolonged exposure to the Hairspray Ray of Doom. [laughs] Tonight, we stand upon the brink of immortality, for we collectively – though, mostly me – have finally defeated our most hated nemeses! We have hurled the brush of badness into the now fearful face of [laughs] goodness, and have struck a blow for freedom in the name of oppression! And nothing will stop us! [laughs]
[chain rattling]
Henchponies: [yelping]
[whinny]
[timer ringing]
[chain rattling]
[thwack]
[hairspray hissing]
Twilight Sparkle: Way to go, Spike!
[cracking]
[clang]
Rainbow Dash: Get mad!
Fluttershy: I'm trying! [straining noises]
Pinkie Pie: Tag you're it! Tag you're it! Tag you're it! Tag you're it!
Mane-iac: Over there! There! There! Idiots!
[ice cracking]
[thud]
[electricity crackling]
[lightning crackling]
Rainbow Dash: Need a place to put these guys!
[clanging]
[thudding]
Applejack: Hold it right there, partner!
[zapping]
Henchponies: [screaming]
[Wilhelm scream]
Spike: Fluttershy, where are you going?
Fluttershy: You seem to have everything under control.
Spike: Fluttershy, we need you! You have to power up!
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, it's just that nothing is making me mad.
[firefly buzzing]
[smack]
[firefly squealing]
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! Are you okay? [to the Mane-iac] Are you kidding me? I mean, I know you're evil and everything, but [getting frustrated] you hurt a teensy, little, harmless firefly?! Really?! Well you're just a great, big, meanie! [voice getting deeper] There! I said it! What makes you think you're so special?! Like the rules of common courtesy don't apply to you?! [voice getting even deeper] Why don't you pick on somepony your own size?! [roars]
[controls buzzing]
[laser firing]
Fluttershy: [roars]
Mane-iac: [yelps]
Fluttershy: [roaring]
[smashing noises]
Fluttershy: [spits]
Mane-iac: My mane! [laughs] My maaaaaane! [laughs insanely]
[thud]
[electricity crackling]
Spike: Once again, the day is saved by—
Main cast: [yelping]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!
Applejack: Whoo-ee!
Main cast: [excited chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Did you see how I was raining down a storm of justice at the end there?!
Applejack: You catch how I was wieldin' that lasso?
Pinkie Pie: Cupcakes?
Rarity: How did you—
Pinkie Pie: Eh, we had a good half second before we got sucked back out of the comic, and the Maretropolis bakery was only sixty-five blocks away!
Spike: I'm just glad to be back.
Twilight Sparkle: We wouldn't have made it without you, Spike. And I hope you realize that just because we don't always need your help, it doesn't mean that we don't think you're helpful.
Spike: And that you don't have to have superpowers to be a super friend.
Main cast: ["Mm-hmm!", "Yeah!", "You got it!", general agreement]
Twilight Sparkle: But I do have one question. Where exactly did you get that comic book?
Spike: This one I got in Canterlot at the House of Enchanted Comics. Well, I didn't know it meant they were literally enchanted!
Main cast: ["Aw, come on!", overlapping disbelief]
Spike: I thought it just meant, like, the comics they sold there had really enchanting storylines! Hey, wait up! I'm an important part of this team, remember?!
[magic zapping]
[credits]

Bats!

Applejack: Any minute now...
[rooster crowing]
Applejack: Yee-haw! It's officially Apple Bucking Day! Look at all those apples! Ripe and juicy, perfect for buckin'! [grunts]
[angelic music]
[splat]
Applejack: What the heck is goin' on? [gasps] They're back!
[bats chittering]
[theme song]
[bell ringing]
Applejack: Attention! This is a Sweet Apple Acres code red! I need all hooves – and claws – on deck!
Rarity: Calm down, Applejack.
Applejack: Calm down?! How can I calm down at a time like this?! Vampire fruit bats are attackin' Sweet Apple Acres!
Twilight Sparkle: But I thought the fruit bats usually stayed put in the west orchard.
Applejack: The fruit bats do, but these aren't just your everyday ordinary fruit bats. They're vampire fruit bats! I'll be darned if they think they're gonna sink their fangs into my blue ribbon apple.
Rest of main cast: [Wow, etc.]
Spike: Awesome!
Applejack: This here's our entry into the Appleloosa State Fair's produce competition. [exhales] You know how much TLC goes into getting an apple to grow like this?
Rarity: Applejack! When you go big, you really go big!
Applejack: Them vampire bats want to shrivel it up like a raisin!
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure if we just let them know how special that particular apple is to you, they'll leave it alone.
Applejack: Yeah, right. Be my guest.
[bats chittering quietly]
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Mr. Vampire Bat--
[splat]
Fluttershy: We were just wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind leaving that really big apple alone?
[seeds hammering]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Applejack: Well? What'd he say?
Fluttershy: Um... yes.
Applejack: Huh?!
Fluttershy: But... it could've been a no.
Applejack: Oh.
Fluttershy: This is the first vampire fruit bat I've ever met and, well, it might take some time for me to really understand their language.
Applejack: Uh-huh. And in the meantime, this pest and his vermin friends are gonna go after my prized apple and, while they're at it, every other apple in the orchard! These vampire bats are nothin' but a bunch of monsters!
Fluttershy: Monsters?! Oh, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?
Applejack: No, I do not.
[Applejack]
Those vampire bats will give you a fright
Eating apples both day and night
They rest for a minute, maybe three
Then they're eatin' every apple in your apple tree
They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothin'
'Cept bringin' about an orchard's destruction
[Fluttershy]
Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this
And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss
These bats are mamas and papas too
They care for their young just like we ponies do
[Applejack]
Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind
These creatures have a one-track mind
The orchard is not their restaurant
But do they ever think what others may want?
No! They don't! And that is just a fact
These bats, they simply don't know how to act
[Fluttershy]
That's where I have to disagree
They're loyal to their family
Spreading seeds both far and wide
[Applejack]
You see one comin', you'd better run and hide!
They're big and ugly and mean as sin
Will ya look at the state my trees are in?
[Fluttershy]
They help your trees, they'll grow stronger faster
[Applejack]
They've turned my life to a total disaster!
[Rarity]
Well, I for one don't have a doubt
These vermin must be stamped right out
[Rainbow Dash]
I second that, they've got to go
These bats, they've got to hit the road
[Applejack]
It comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them back!
[All except Fluttershy]
Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the bats! Stop the bats!
Make them go and not come back!
[Applejack]
Yes, it comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack!
Rarity: I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I believe Applejack has made the better argument. These vampire fruit bats sound downright dreadful.
Applejack: So let's get to roundin' them up so they don't destroy the rest of my orchard.
Pinkie Pie: [to the tune of Winter Wrap Up] Fruit bat round-up, fruit bat round-up!
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, but, um, what if instead of rounding them up, we... let them have part of the orchard?
Applejack: [whinny] Have you lost your pest-lovin' mind?!
Fluttershy: They're only here because they're hungry! If we build a sanctuary for them, they could have their own apples to enjoy! After a while, they could even help the rest of your orchard! The vampire bats don't eat the seeds of the apples, and when they spit them out, they grow into even more productive apple trees!
Applejack: Listen, Fluttershy. That sounds real nice 'n' all, but every second we spend buildin' this so-called 'sanctuary' is a second they'll spend destroyin' orchards! You don't know what it was like the last time there was an infestation, but Granny Smith has told me enough stories about it that just the thought of it gives me nightmares! [narrating] Granny says we lost a huge section of orchard that year. They had to ration out apples all winter!
Rainbow Dash: What about the cider? There was still cider, right?
Applejack: Not...a...drop.
Rainbow Dash: No cider?! No cider?! We need to round up these monsters, and we need to do it now!
Applejack: If Granny Smith wasn't with Apple Bloom an' Big Mac checkin' out our produce competition in Appleloosa, she'd be here tellin' us to do just that!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I think Applejack is right. I just wish there was another way we could convince them not to eat them in the first place. Maybe there is...!
Twilight Sparkle: So, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that I found a spell that can get the vampire fruit bats to stop wanting to suck the juice from the apples. But in order for the spell to work, I need the bats' full and complete attention.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh no.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I need you to do your Stare on the bats.
Fluttershy: Oh, gosh, I don't know.
Rainbow Dash: What's the problem? You've used the Stare plenty of times before!
Fluttershy: Yes, but it's not something I take lightly. I've made a vow not to use it except in dire circumstances.
Applejack: This circumstance is plenty dire to me!
Rainbow Dash: Me too! Think of the cider! Won't somepony please think of the cider?!
Fluttershy: I'm sorry. I just don't like the idea of taking away the thing that really makes the vampire fruit bats [inhales] vampire fruit bats! It just feels wrong!
Twilight Sparkle: But if we don't do this, there won't be any apples left for anypony here in Ponyville. Doesn't that feel wrong, too?
Applejack: So what's it gonna be, Fluttershy? Will you do your Stare on the bats or not?
Fluttershy: Um... Um... Okay, I'll do it.
Rarity: Good choice. I knew you wouldn't side with those icky bats! [whimpers]
Fluttershy: They're not icky.
Rainbow Dash: First round of cider's on me!
Applejack: Hold it right there! We've gotta round up these beasts with wings first. Time's a-wastin'!
[bats chittering]
Rarity: [muffled] [yelps] Ew, ew, ew, ewwww!
[bat gulps and spits]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Rarity: [screams]
Applejack: Good work, everypony! I think we got 'em all! [to Fluttershy] Now all we need is for you do to your Stare.
Fluttershy: Oh, um, are you sure I really need-- Okay. I really, really, really hate to do this to you... I just hope you can forgive me...
[bats hissing]
Applejack: Good... Now you go, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright.
[magic humming]
Twilight Sparkle: You can stop staring, Fluttershy.
Spike: Did it work?
Applejack: Only one way to find out for sure.
[bat sniffing, chittering]
Rainbow Dash: Ye-he-heah, whoo!
Applejack: My crop is saved! Yee-haw!
Rainbow Dash: We'll be drinking cider all winter long!
Applejack: I wanna thank you for your help. I couldn't have done it without you.
Spike: Aw, don't mention it, Applejack. It was my pleasure! Really!
Applejack: Now all we gotta do is sweep up these cores so I can start buckin' fresh tomorrow mornin'!
Fluttershy: [sniffs]
Applejack: Apple Bucking Day, take two!
[rooster crowing]
Applejack: Yee-haw! Time to collect those juicy, sweet apples! [grunts]
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: The spell didn't work!
Applejack: You're darn tootin' the spell didn't work! I think we're gonna have to take more extreme measures!
Rainbow Dash: I hear ya, Applejack! C'mon, everypony! Let's track down those vampire bats!
[bats chittering]
[splat]
Applejack: Wait a minute... I don't think these bats are the ones that sucked my apples dry.
Rarity: But if the vampire bats aren't eating your apples...
Twilight Sparkle: Who is? Fluttershy, you're our animal expert. Do you know of any other creature that might be capable of this?
Fluttershy: I'm sorry. I don't.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, there's only one way to find out. We'll have to catch whoever it is in the act.
Rarity: And how do you propose we do that?
Twilight Sparkle: A stakeout...!
Rainbow Dash: [spookily] The witching hour...
[owl hoots]
Fluttershy: Maybe we should just call this off. Not sure about the rest of you guys, [entranced] but I'm really hungry... [drip, drip, gulp]
Rarity: Oh, Fluttershy, it'll be okay. Don't forget, darling, we're all in this together.
Twilight Sparkle: That's right. Nopony leaves this orchard until we've solved this mystery. Agreed?
Rest of main cast: Agreed!
Applejack: Does everypony have their pony signals? Now remember, Pinkie Pie, only use the signal if you see somethin' suspicious.
Pinkie Pie: I got it. Something suspicious...
Fluttershy: [sniffing]
Pinkie Pie: Whatcha doin'?!
Applejack: Alright, now everypony split up. We'll each patrol our own row of the orchard. Whoever or whatever's destroyin' my apples has gotta be here somewhere.
Fluttershy: I have a bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling about this... That apple... It looks... [entranced] so juicy... and sweet... [slurps]
[biting]
Pinkie Pie: What was that?! [gasps] Suspicious! [giggles] It's pony signal time!
Rarity: Who's there? Oh, well, there's obviously no need to worry about that shadowy figure overhead... [frightened] Or maybe there is! I think I'll just go see how Rainbow Dash is doing...
Rainbow Dash: Uh... who's there? Answer me or you'll regret it! Fine, have it your own way! Take that, you, you, you... scarecrow... Oh.
[rustling]
[owl hoots]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[slurping]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, what is it?
Pinkie Pie: Suspicious!
Fluttershy: [hisses]
Fluttershy: [slurps]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy? Yoo-hoo! Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [hisses]
Rarity: That's not Fluttershy... That's Flutterbat!
Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta get her down from there!
Rarity: Uh... Fluttershy, sweetness, please come down, and... do stop being a vampire bat.
Fluttershy: [hisses] [slurps]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! It's me, Rainbow Dash! Why don't you cut the bat act and come on down?!
Fluttershy: [hisses]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Whoa! Maybe we should just let her come down when she's ready.
Pinkie Pie: Flutterbat on the loose! Run for your lives!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, calm down! See? She's back on her... branch.
Pinkie Pie: She's just biding her time! Waiting for the right moment to pounce!
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, bats don't eat ponies. Not even vampire bats.
Pinkie Pie: But maybe vampire ponies eat other ponies! I'm not taking any chances!
Rarity: How did this happen? That's what I don't understand.
Twilight Sparkle: I think this was actually our fault.
Rainbow Dash: Our fault?
Applejack: And how'd you figure that?
[magic humming, synth-electronic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so this is me, these are the bats, and this is Fluttershy doing her Stare. The spell was supposed to go right onto the bats like this, but somehow the spell must have backfired. It took the vampire fruit bats' desire to be vampire fruit bats and transferred that desire into Fluttershy. C'mon! We'll reverse the spell and make it right!
Pinkie Pie: Then what are we waiting for? Let's save Fluttershy before that thing eats us all!
Rainbow Dash: Hit the deck!
Rest of main cast: [yelps]
Pinkie Pie: Follow that bat!
Rarity: I can't believe we lost her!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Fluttershy, where are you?
Fluttershy: [hisses] [slurps]
Applejack: Look out! Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: If she keeps this up, your whole crop will be gone in no time!
Applejack: That's the least of my worries. I just want my friend back.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll never get her back unless we corner her and catch her so I can reverse the spell!
[wolf howling]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] There she is!
Fluttershy: [hisses]
Applejack: There she goes!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, this is no use. I think the only way we're gonna catch her is if we find a way to lure her closer to us.
Applejack: But even if we can lure her to us, how're we gonna get her to stay still long enough for you to do your reverse spell?
Pinkie Pie: Aww, if only we had Fluttershy to do her Stare on the Flutterbat.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] That's it!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's get our friend back. Action stations!
Rainbow Dash: So much for having the winning apple in the Appleloosa State Fair, huh?
Applejack: [sighs]
[juice leaking]
Fluttershy: [sniffs] [hisses]
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] She's coming!
Fluttershy: [hisses]
[magic humming]
Fluttershy: Oh... where am I?
Rest of main cast: [cheering]
Applejack: Thank goodness you're okay!
Fluttershy: But... what happened to me?
Pinkie Pie: You turned into a vampire pony!
Fluttershy: [gasps] I tried to eat ponies?!
Pinkie Pie: Of course not!
Fluttershy: So I wasn't a vampire?
Pinkie Pie: Yes!
Fluttershy: Yes I was, or yes I wasn't?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, you were!
Fluttershy: But I didn't try and eat ponies?
Pinkie Pie: Yes!
Fluttershy: I did?!
Pinkie Pie: No!
Fluttershy: I'm confused...
Rarity: Me too... and I was there!
[bats chittering]
[sign creaking]
Applejack: Fluttershy, I'm real sorry I didn't take your suggestion in the first place.
Fluttershy: And don't forget, now you'll get seeds that will grow into even bigger and better apple trees.
Rainbow Dash: Does that mean what I think it means?
Applejack: Yup! More cider too.
Rainbow Dash: Yea-he-heah, whoo!
Spike: Okay, got the part about the spell, Fluttershy turning into a bat, building a sanctuary...
Applejack: Be sure to put in there that I came to see that my short-term solution was a little short-sighted.
Fluttershy: And that you shouldn't let anypony pressure you into doing something that you don't think is right. Sometimes you have to tell even your closest friends 'no'.
Applejack: Now, how about we celebrate our stronger than ever friendship with a nice, ripe, juicy apple?
Pinkie Pie: [fake accent] Stand back! I vant to suck its juuuice! [squee]
Main cast: [laughing]

Rarity Takes Manehattan

Spike: There you are, Rarity! That's the last of your bags.
Rarity: Actually, Spike, I've got one last pile of bags, over there. Won't you be a dear?
Spike: Sure... I'll be a dear... [strains]
Rarity: An entire week in the fabulous city of Manehattan! Plus, all of my very best friends there with me!
Twilight Sparkle: Of course we'd all come along to support you during Fashion Week, Rarity!
Fluttershy: Not that you'll need it. We're sure you'll win.
Rarity: [squeals] I can't begin to tell you how excited I am that you'll all be there with me! However... Perhaps I can show you...
Twilight Sparkle: What's that?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know! A paper fan!
Rarity: No, it's—
Pinkie Pie: A magic trick! You know, where I pick a card and remember what it is and then you put it back in the deck so you can't look at it and—
Rarity: These are tickets to the hottest musical on Bridleway!
Twilight Sparkle: You couldn't mean Hinny of the Hills... because that show's been sold out for months! Or could you?!
Rarity: I could. I do.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Oh, Rarity, you didn't have to do that, but... since you did...
Main cast sans Rarity: [cheering]
Pinkie Pie: This trip is fun already! I love jumping up and down! Whee-hee!
[theme song]
[train engine chugging]
Rarity: Come along, ponies! I found us a place to stay only a block from the train station in the very heart of this glorious metropolis!
Applejack: Hey, look! That's the theatre where Hinny of the Hills is playin'!
Rest of main cast: [oohing]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rarity! How'd you manage to get us seats for tomorrow night?
Rarity: Oh, I gave some designs to the costume designer, so he pulled a few strings.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Rarity: That is what makes Manehattan so splendid and amazing. You do something nice for somepony, and then you never know when they'll do something nice for you!
Applejack: So then you can do something nice for us!
Fluttershy: Like get us in to see Hinny of the Hills!
Rainbow Dash: Which is only the best musical in all of Equestria!
Applejack: It must be good if Rainbow Dash is impressed. Normally she doesn't even like musicals.
Rainbow Dash: I know. Ponies just bursting into song in random places at the drop of a hat? Who does that?
[Rarity]
Oh, Manehattan, what you do to me
Such a huge bustling community
And there's always opportunity
To do the friendly thing
If some are grouchy, pay no mind
Surprise instead with something kind
Lo and behold, you may just find
A smile is what you bring
"Luggage Cart": Welcome to the Manefair Hotel! Please allow me to take those bags to your room for you!
Rarity: Only if you'll accept this gratuity first.
"Luggage Cart": Oh-ho-ho! I'll get your change!
Rarity: Do keep it all. I insist!
[Rarity]
Generosity, I'm here to show all that I can give
Generosity, I'm here to set the bar
Just sit back and watch how I live
Rarity: After you.
Tourist Pony 1: Why, thank you.
Rarity: Please, take mine.
"Wisp": Wow, okay.
[Rarity]
Some may say, "Rarity,
Don't be so big-hearted and bold
Treating strangers like they're friends
This town's too big and cold"
But this is how I play my cards
I'm not about to fold
Where I see a frown, I go to town
Call me the smile patrol
[Rainbow Dash]
Oh, Manehattan, what you do to us
[Fluttershy]
What if you find a Gloomy Gus?
[Applejack]
It's no intimidatin' thing
[Pinkie Pie]
Just be kind without a fuss
[Rarity]
Generosity, I'm here to show all that I can do
Generosity, you are the key
Manehattan, I'm here just for you
Just for you
Rarity: [sigh] To think my dresses could soon be displayed on the most glamorous shopping thoroughfare of the most glamorous city in Equestria! Oh, it would be my dream come true!
Twilight Sparkle: Is there anything left to do we can help you with?
Rarity: Hm, nothing I can think of. The dresses are all completely finished, all made from a fabulous new fabric I've been developing for months. Stretchy, but not clingy. Shimmery, but not showy.
Fluttershy: Sounds amazing.
Rarity: There's nothing left for me to do but check in at the runway with my dresses by two this afternoon.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that's funny. Because that clock over there makes it seem like that's only ten minutes from now!
[thunder rumbling]
Rarity: Oh, my ribbons and threads. And the runway ballroom is all the way across town! If I don't get there, I'm disqualified! Taaaaxiii!
Fluttershy: Oh, no! We've gotta help her find a cab, now!
Rainbow Dash: I'm on it! Hey, buddy! Is this cab taken?
Cherry Fizzy: The line ends back there, "buddy"!
Rainbow Dash: Huh? What? Does everypony in this town want a cab?
Rarity: I'm afraid getting a taxi at this time could prove almost impossible!
Twilight Sparkle: Please won't you let her have this taxi? She has somewhere very important to be right away!
Businesspony: Not likely! She can get in line like the rest of us!
Ponies: [complaining]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's no use! The cab drivers just drive right past to get to the next pony in line!
"Pronto": New wheel works like a charm! So now which of you nice folks are hoppin' in?
Rarity: Fashion runway plaza in seven minutes. Can you make it?
"Pronto": Hang on!
Rarity: Ta-ta!
Spike: Whew, that was close.
Main cast sans Spike: [general agreement]
Spike: Anypony else got a sneaking suspicion we're forgetting something?
Main cast sans Spike: The dresses!
Rarity: [out of breath, quickly] Good afternoon, I'm here for Fashion Week!
Janine Manewitz: Everypony's gathered in front of the runway and about to start, so you'll just have to bring your dresses along with you and store them backstage later.
Rarity: My– My dresses! How could I possibly forget them?! [gasps] I'm dooooomed!
"Luggage Cart": Got 'em right here, ma'am! Your friends told me you need these in a hurry, so I offered to race 'em over myself. "Anything for that nice mare," I told 'em!
Rarity: You're a lifesaver!
Rarity: [sighs] I made it! And with seconds to spare! Hello, everypony. Pleased to meet you all.
Prim Hemline: Rarity, I presume.
Rarity: You must be Prim Hemline, the host of this grand event. How do you—?
Prim Hemline: Miss Rarity, how is it that all your competitors are here half an hour early, and yet you arrive seconds before we begin?
Rarity: Uhhhh... [chuckles nervously] Just... lucky, I guess.
Prim Hemline: Once we're done here, you're to finish setting up backstage, so you'll be ready for your run-through appointment. You show your designs last. We keep to a precise schedule, so let's try to be more than a few seconds early, hmm? Tomorrow is the contest to see which one of you gets to stay to meet top designers all across the city. The rest of you must go home early. So sad. Dismissed!
Suri Polomare: [chuckles] I'm so glad you made it, Rarity!
Rarity: Me too, but everything just seems to keep working out!
Suri Polomare: Don't you remember me? Suri Polomare from the Ponyville Knitters League?
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course, of course! I– I thought you looked familiar, but I couldn't place it. You haven't been back in years!
Suri Polomare: Because I moved here to make it in the big city. [laughs], okay?
Rarity: Oh, good for you, Sur—
Suri Polomare: Ooh, it's so good to see you! And now here we are, competing! [laughs], okay?
Rarity: Yes, yes. Well, good luck!
Suri Polomare: Oh, I don't need luck. Would you like a hoof with your things?
Rarity: Why, thank you so much!
Suri Polomare: My, your collection is gorgeous!
Rarity: Oh now, I'm sure your collection is equally lovely, if not more so!
Suri Polomare: It's alright, but nothing like this! Take my culottes, for example – they are simply crying out for just the right accent, but I haven't the slightest notion where I— [gasps] Actually... just a touch of this fabric could be perfect with it. W– Oh, hey, would you mind terribly if I took a swatch?
Rarity: Oh, not at all! Here, I have loads extra.
Suri Polomare: You're sure?
Rarity: Positive! Oh, well, it's been wonderful getting caught up, and I don't wish to be rude, but I must finish my preparations and I am a bit late as it... is?
Rarity: Hello! I'm here half an hour early for my run-through appointment, just the way Prim likes!
Janine Manewitz: Get in line over there. Oh my, that fabric's gorgeous, did you make that yourself?
Rarity: Oh, why, yes. It's stretchy, but not clingy. Shimmery—
Suri Polomare: [simultaneously] Shimmery, but not showy. And the entire line is in the same adorable pattern. It works on everything from skirts to tops to shoes and, [chuckles]...
Prim Hemline: Oh, bravo! I've never seen anything like it!
Rarity: You stole my fabric!
Suri Polomare: [laughs] I didn't steal it, okay? You gave it to me, 'member?
Rarity: I gave you the fabric for accents! Not for your whole line! And how could you possibly make all of those outfits out of it so fast?!
Suri Polomare: Fast? Hah! Coco Pommel here took practically forever. Nearly got me completely disqualified.
Coco Pommel: Well, I wanted to make sure you'd win, so I took the extra time to—
Suri Polomare: Quiet! I pay an assistant to sew and get coffee, not talk. 'Kay?
Rarity: [gasps] How could this happen?
Suri Polomare: Aw, sweetie, don't blame yourself. It takes some small-town fillies a while to learn it's everypony for herself in the big city, m'kay?
Rarity: [crying]
Suri Polomare: Hope you realize how fortunate you are to have me as a mentor. Now get me some coffee!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, my gosh, what a great afternoon! That was almost too much fun!
Rainbow Dash: Better pace yourself, 'cause the rest of the day is jam-packed!
Applejack: First there's the salon appointment to get our manes done.
Pinkie Pie: Then our fancy dinner at the Far-Afield Tavern!
Fluttershy: And after that...
Main cast sans Spike: Hinny of the Hills! [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Is... everything okay?
Pinkie Pie: You got the dresses the bellhop brought you and everything, right?
Rarity: [bawls]
Rainbow Dash: But he said he brought them.
Rarity: [crying] And then Suri stole them! [fast breathing] I let one of the other contestants use some of my one-of-a-kind fabric [fast breathing] and then she turned it into a wardrobe just like mine, [fast breathing] only now it looks like I'm the one copying her! My generosity has ruined me, I tell you! Ruined! [bawls]
Twilight Sparkle: Now, Rarity, whatever went wrong, we're all here to help you get through it, no matter what it takes.
Rest of main cast sans Rarity: [general agreement]
Applejack: Come on, Rarity, buck up! All we need is some fabric and you'll be back in business!
Rarity: [gasps] This new line is going to be marvelous! Perhaps even better than the last! It's daring, it's bold! Perhaps I still have a chance after all!
[sewing machines whirring]
Rarity: Twilight! Sew these pieces together according to that pattern there!
Twilight Sparkle: You said if we skipped dinner at the Far-Afield Tavern, you'd order a meal for us while we keep working.
Rarity: Don't fret. It'll be here in an hour. That's not going to be a problem, is it?
Rainbow Dash: Well, we're supposed to be watching Hinny of the Hills by then...
Rarity: Oh! I see! I go out of my way to get you tickets for a show, and this is how you repay me? By abandoning me in my hour of need? Oh, oh, oh! Fine! Go and see Hinny of the Hills tonight! And then tomorrow morning when you come to see my fashion show without any fashion to show, you can have more entertainment! "Oh, why look, there's our friend Rarity going down in flames! Isn't friendship magic?!"
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, calm down. What's gotten into you?
Rarity: What's gotten into you?! Oh, go ahead! See your little show! Congratu-pony-lations, fillies! Sounds like you've all figured out already it's everypony for herself in this town!
[door slams]
[sewing machines whirring]
[clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: There. That's the last of them.
Rarity: [gasps] Finally!
Twilight Sparkle: You're welcome!
Prim Hemline: Let's have another round of applause for Suri Polomare's amazing collection.
[ponies cheering]
Prim Hemline: That fabric! So original!
Rarity: [sighs]
Suri Polomare: [chuckles] Well look who's here. Here to show off your copycat collection, mm? Heh.
Prim Hemline: And now, Rarity from Ponyville with her brand new line – and I mean "brand new" – Hotel Chic.
[ponies talking excitedly]
[cameras clicking]
Rarity: Oh! They're liking it! I think I may have just won this thing! Oh, I can't wait to celebrate with... My friends. They didn't come. What have I done?
[ponies cheering]
[cameras clicking]
Prim Hemline: Rarity, they all adore you! Aren't you going to tell them about your fabulous pieces?
Rarity: I have to go.
Prim Hemline: [gasps] Come back at once!
[audience gasps]
Prim Hemline: This is unheard of!
"Luggage Cart": How do you do, ma'am? Contest going well?
Rarity: No time to talk. I have to find my friends!
"Luggage Cart": Oh, uh, they're gone already. I saw them headed out this morning.
Rarity: Oh, no! Back to Ponyville, I imagine. Oh, they worked so hard on my behalf! And I repaid them with unkindness. What have I done?! Oh... here you are.
"Luggage Cart": But miss, I– I didn't do anything!
[thunder rumbling]
[Rarity]
Oh, Manehattan, what have I done?
The thought of Fashion Week was fun
But I went way too far
My friends gave to me in ways so kind
And I gave them nothing but a hard time
And now alone I stand
And now alone I stand
[bell rings]
Rarity: I need a moment with Prim Hemline. I have to rush back to Ponyville, but I just wanted to thank her first for—
Suri Polomare: Uh-uh-uh, you'd best steer clear of Prim for a while. She's pretty furious. Isn't that right?
Coco Pommel: Um... yes.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Rarity: There you all are! I can't believe it, I thought you went back home!
Twilight Sparkle: We missed the show because we overslept. Suri told us you lost. I'm really sorry.
Rarity: I lost? You know what? I don't even care. I'm just happy you're all still here after how I treated you. Taking advantage of your friendship the way I did. How could you ever see past it?
Applejack: Yeah, you were pretty rotten.
Rainbow Dash: Wow, Applejack. I know your thing is honesty, but come on!
Twilight Sparkle: Last night we may not have seen you at your best, but we know you. And we would never let one thing like that change how we feel about you.
Rarity: Oh, thank you! You really are the most wonderful friends a pony could have! You know, I already arranged to make it up to you this afternoon! Hope you're all available for an exclusive performance of Hinny of the Hills!
Rest of main cast: [cheering]
Suri Polomare: And that is how it's done. Pretty clever how I convinced her to stay away from Prim, wasn't it? [chuckles] Wouldn't have wanted her to find out the truth now, would we?
Hinny of the Hills: [singing] And I'm a dancing pony!
Main cast: [cheering]
Applejack: Wow! That was even better than I imagined!
Rainbow Dash: I loved it! [beat] Uh, I mean, it was a'ight.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: How did you ever get them to agree to do an extra performance just for us?
Rarity: Remember my costume designer friend who got me the tickets? Well, I offered to make all the costumes for his next show!
Fluttershy: Um, here in Manehattan?
Rarity: Well, um... yes... it will keep me away from Ponyville for a while.
Rest of main cast: [sighs]
Rarity: But I so wanted you to see this show! And working for this designer is such a great opportunity!
Applejack: We know. We're happy for you, Rarity. We're just sad for us.
Coco Pommel: Mind if I join you?
Rarity: Sure. Come on down. This is the first place trophy for Fashion Week. [gasps] With my name on it! But I thought I lost!
Coco Pommel: You didn't. You won. Suri was hoping that if you didn't claim your prize, the judges would consider it a forfeit and first place would go to her. So she lied to make you and your friends go away, and, well, I lied too. I've worked for Suri for so long, I started to believe that it really is everypony for herself in this town. Until I saw how generous you were with your friends and how generous they were with you. It made me start believing there was something better for me out there. So, I– I quit. I brought you something to say thank you.
Rarity: Hm. I suppose you'll need a job now that you're no longer with Suri. How would you like to work for my friend making all the costumes for his next show?
Rarity: Manehattan was simply grand. It was in this magnificent metropolis that I learned that, while there are ponies who will take advantage of your generosity, you should never, ever let that cause you to abandon your generous spirit. Nothing feels worse than taking advantage of the giving nature of your friends.
[credits]

Pinkie Apple Pie

Pinkie Pie: Whatcha doin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Aaagh!
Pinkie Pie: "Aaagh" yourself! But that doesn't answer my question, silly. [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Just some genealogical research.
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh. [whispering] I don't know what that is.
Spike: Genealogy is the study of family history. Y'know, where ponies come from and who they're related to.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, fascinating.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you should pick one from the... top?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh... Interesting... I see... Hmm, that makes sense... Not much of a surprise there... WHAT?!? This is the most amazing thing ever! Why didn't you tell me how amazing this is?! Genealogy is better than cotton candy on top of a fountain of chocolate! [thud] You'll never believe who it says I'm related to!
[knocking]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, cousin!
[theme song]
Applejack: This is just so excitin', I can hardly believe it!
Pinkie Pie: I know! Isn't it the best?
Apple Bloom: I have another sister! I have another sister!
Pinkie Pie: Well, you actually have a fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, but that's like exactly like a sister!
Applejack: I'd try to tone it down a little around non-family members, because I don't want to make them jealous, but...
Apple Bloom: This is the best family ever!
[sproing]
Applejack: It really is. You are gonna love bein' an Apple. I mean, you've got the playful one...
[boing, thud, boing]
Pinkie Pie: [clapping]
Applejack: The strong one...
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[splat]
Applejack: And of course, there's Granny Smith, who knows everythin' about everythin'!
Granny Smith: A Ponyville snail can hibernate for up to forty-eight moons!
Pinkie Pie: Who knew?
Applejack: And then there's me. [sniffs, exhales] Do you smell that sweet apple air, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs]
Applejack: That was rhetorical. Of course you smell it. You're an Apple now!
Apple Bloom: And Applejack is the one responsible for it!
Applejack: Aw, Apple Bloom, that is sweet, but--
Apple Bloom: It's true! I mean she keeps us all organized and on schedule and does her own part on top of it all!
Big McIntosh and Granny Smith: Mm-hmm.
Pinkie Pie: I was already super happy as a Pie! And now I get to be a part of this amazing family too?
Apple Bloom: It's even more amazin' now that you're in it! [rhythmically] We're family, we're family, you an' me are family!
Pinkie Pie: Best family twirl everrrrrrr!
[crash]
Applejack: Huh, I just can't believe we've never heard anythin' about this before! Hmm...
Apple Bloom: What's wrong, sis?
Applejack: I'm not seein' where exactly it says we're family.
Pinkie Pie: It's riiiiiiiii- [inhales] -iiiiiight here!
Applejack: It... is?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh. Applesauce of the Apple family lineage is a fourth cousin twice removed of the Pie family!
Applejack: I see the part about our great, great auntie Applesauce and fourth cousin twice removed part, but that last bit's awful smudged. Are you sure it says 'Pie'?
Pinkie Pie: I guess it is a little smudged, but I see most of it there, and when I read it, I knew in my heart it was true!
Granny Smith: Well, ain't that just the sweetest thing!
Applejack: It is, it is. I'd just hate for us to get all excited before we found out for sure.
Apple Bloom: So how are we supposed to find out for sure?
Granny Smith: Ehhhh... Oh! Cousin Goldie Delicious! Her cabin's practically an Apple family history museum! If anypony has the records to back up Pinkie's theory, it's her!
Applejack: Huh, I suppose we could always... I mean, Goldie Delicious doesn't live that far away, and we haven't been on one as a family in a real long time... Are y'all thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Apple family: Family road trip!
Granny Smith: Has anypony seen my travelin' bonnet?
Apple Bloom: Isn't that it on your head?
[beat]
Granny Smith: No!
Apple Bloom: It looks an awful lot like--
Granny Smith: Well, it ain't, and that's final!
Applejack: Hey, everypony? Since Pinkie Pie's back home gettin' her stuff for the trip, can y'all gather round? I just wanted to say somethin' real quick.
Granny Smith: I've had somethin' in my teeth this whole time, haven't I? Gadsnickety, what a way to welcome a family member!
Applejack: Er, no, Granny, your teeth are fine. I just wanted to be sure that we're all on the same page about showin' Pinkie Pie how awesome a family we really are. We want her to get to know the family she's been born into, but, like, the best version of it, y'know?
Granny Smith: Oh, [blows raspberry]. Don't you worry, honey. We're a great family, and she can't help but see it.
Apple Bloom: I'll bet my future cutie mark's gonna be a picture of me bein' the best behaved pony ever! That's how good I'm gonna be! Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Pinkie Pie: Are y'all ready to go? Because I'm ready to go-go-go!
Applejack: Er, Big Mac? Are you sure we really need all that stuff?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Are you sure you're strong enough to really pull all that stuff?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Are you sure the wagon's strong enough to hold it all?
Big McIntosh: [groans] Eeyup!
Applejack: Then lets get this show on the road!
Applejack: C'mon, Apples, y'all know this one!
Granny Smith: Hot-diggity!
Applejack: Yee-haw!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[Applejack]
We've traveled the road of generations
Joined by a common bond
We sing our song 'cross the pony nation
From Equestria and beyond
[Applejack and Apple Bloom]
We're Apples forever, Apples together
We're family, but so much more
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
We're Apples to the core
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[Apple Bloom]
There's no place that I'd rather be
Than travelin' with my family
Friends all around come to join and see
As we sing out across the land
[Applejack, Big McIntosh, and Apple Bloom]
We're Apples forever, Apples together
We're family, but so much more
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
We're Apples to the core
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[Granny Smith]
We're peas in a pod, we're thick as thieves
Any cliché you can throw at me
We're here for each other, through thick and thin
You're always welcome with your Apple kin
Wheeeeee!
[Pinkie Pie]
You're more fun than the color pink
Or balloons flying over your favorite drink
The love I feel here is swim, not sink
As we party across this land
Apples: All right!
[All]
We're Apples forever, Apples together
We're family, but so much more
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
We're Apples to the core!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
[crash]
Applejack: Big Mac! I thought you said– Uh, I thought– I mean, not that I'm blamin' you, because we don't blame in this family, but I thought you said all this stuff wasn't gonna be too heavy.
Apple Bloom: How're we supposed to get to Goldie Delicious now?
Granny Smith: I don't know, but I don't see how we can go back now either. We're closer to cousin Goldie's that we are to home.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I have the best... idea... ever! Family river trip!
Applejack: Heh. Just one problem. We haven't got a raft. [under her breath] 'Bout the only thing that didn't get packed.
Granny Smith: Well, back in the old days, we used to use the sap from a sugar pine tree to glue things together.
Applejack: That is, uh, fascinatin'... Don't know that it's helpful, but it is fascinatin'...
Granny Smith: Pfft! 'Not helpful', my patootie! We're gonna build ourselves a raft out of these here jalopy parts and keep it held together with sugar pine sap!
Applejack: Hm, worth a shot!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Applejack: Could be worse, I guess. Now remember, this time we're only packin' the necessities.
Pinkie Pie: Wait a second!
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: This one is for the scrapbook!
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, when did you have time to make this?
Pinkie Pie: Applejack, when you're family, you make the time.
[splash]
Applejack: Woo-hoo! We did it!
Pinkie Pie: Say 'soaked'!
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: So what you're saying is, if I have the courage to jump, the parachute will open.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! That is deep!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Uh-oh... All right, y'all. Please tell me that the map didn' get wet. 'Cuz it looks like I'm gonna need it right about now.
Apple Bloom: Found it!
Who's got the map?
I got the map!
M to the A to the yeah, that's right, P
Ain't no other pony found a map like me
I'm Applel—
Uh-oh.
Applejack: [gasp]
Everypony: [screams]
[splash, splash, camera clicks]
Apple Bloom: [laughs nervously]
Applejack: [through gritted teeth] All you had to do was bring it to me. No singin', no dancin', no games. Just walk it over!
Big McIntosh: [through gritted teeth] Eeyup.
Pinkie Pie: Say 'best siblings ever'!
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, that's another keeper!
Granny Smith: It's okay, y'all! I travelled down this river as a filly and I know it like the back of my hoof!
Applejack: Are you sure you know which way to go?
Granny Smith: Does a June bug like to hide in a tree?
Applejack: Uh... I don't know.
Granny Smith: Well, I do know! And I also know we wanna head southeast! Now step aside, young'un!
Applejack: Um, Granny?
Granny Smith: Myuh-huh?
Applejack: Are we supposed to go through a cave?
Granny Smith: Ah, don't worry, child! The scariest cave in Equestria was down that other way!
Apple Bloom: The scariest cave in Equestria?
Granny Smith: Oh, it's a fright all right! Filled with creatures that'll eat ya soon as look at ya!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, sounds scary. Tell us more!
Granny Smith: Ponies go in... but they never come out!
Applejack: And you're sure it's not that cave? The one we're headin' straight for?
Granny Smith: Now, Applejack, I taught you better than to question your elder ponies!
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Applejack: Heh... you sure did.
Granny Smith: Alrighty then. Now everypony just sit on back an' leave the steerin' to your old Granny Smith.
Applejack: [gulp]
Granny Smith: See now? Told ya th--
[roaring]
Apple family: [screaming]
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: Got it! Best scary unidentifiable creature ever! Say 'terrified'!
Apple family: [continue screaming]
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: [hums]
Granny Smith: Guess that was the scariest cave in Equestria. Uh, of course I meant to take us through it! Unexpected adventure is good for the soul!
Pinkie Pie: Best granny wisdom ever!
Applejack: Uh-huh. Why don't you just scooch on over there, Granny? Think I'll take it from here on out.
Granny Smith: Huh! Is that how I taught you to treat your elder ponies?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! Is it?
Applejack: You taught me to trust my common sense. And my common sense says we should get to Goldie Delicious's cabin in one piece.
Granny Smith: And that is exactly what I'm gonna do!
Applejack: That is mighty generous of you, but I think you've done enough for one day.
Granny Smith: And how exactly are you gonna know which way to go?
Pinkie Pie: Hmmmmmmm?
Applejack: It would be easier if the map hadn't gone overboard!
Apple Bloom: Hey! There wouldn't have been an overboard if Big Mac hadn't overpacked the jalopy!
Big McIntosh: Eeyu- hey!
Applejack: Exactly! So I think we can all agree that from here on out, I should be in charge of everythin'.
Apple family: [arguing]
[splash, duck quacks, eagle cries]
Applejack: [laughs nervously]
Pinkie Pie: I just wanna say... that I think you're all super duper, and I can't wait to make a page in my scrapbook about the amazing waterfall we went down!
[water rushing]
[duck quacks]
Apple family: [panicked cries] [screams]
Apple family: [screams]
Pinkie Pie: Wheeeee!
[camera clicks four times]
[splash]
Granny Smith: Huh! Told you that sugar pine sap would hold this thing together.
[crunch]
Apple family: [yelps]
[balloons pop]
Pinkie Pie: [yelps]
Apple family: [groaning]
Pinkie Pie: We're here! We're here! We made it to Goldie Delicious's's's's's! You guys! There's a note! [giggles]
Applejack: Uh, Pinkie Pie? Maybe you could read that one out loud?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, right, sorry! I haven't even read it yet. I was just looking at how pretty the paper is. Okay, it says that she ran off to run some errands but will be home soon! Oh, that's perfect!
Apple Bloom: Why is that perfect?
Pinkie Pie: Because it'll give me enough time to get more scrapbook paper! See ya!
Apple Bloom: Worst family road trip. Ever.
Big McIntosh: [sadly] Eeyup.
Applejack: I can't believe she witnessed our family fallin' apart like this. [sighs] I can't believe I was arguin' with you so much that I tore the wheel right off the raft. It's like I wasn't myself at all.
Granny Smith: Aw, that wasn't your fault. My stubborn streak got a hold of me somethin' fierce. Should've let you take the wheel long a'fore that.
Apple Bloom: It was my fault the map got all wet...
Big McIntosh: I was the pony who—
Granny Smith: Now, now, Big Mac, you gotta know we forgive you for packin' the jalopy so much that it collapsed. You was just as eager to please Pinkie Pie like the rest of us.
Applejack: Everypony, I think we have to let Pinkie Pie know that even if she does discover that she's an Apple, she does not have to feel obliged to consider herself one.
Granny Smith: Sure as applesauce.
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding me?! You guys are the best family ever!
Applejack: How can you say that? We started out as one big unit, and now look at us.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Now look at you! You're all here still in one big unit, loving each other and owning up to what went wrong! You never gave up, even when things got tough!
Apple Bloom: She does make a pretty good point.
Pinkie Pie: You aren't just family, you're best friends! And I wanna be an Apple more than ever!
Apple Bloom: And we want you to be one too!
Pinkie Pie: Yippee! [giggles]
Goldie Delicious: Now that's how you run an errand.
Pinkie Pie: Hello!
Goldie Delicious: Hello yourself!
Applejack: You must be Goldie Delicious. So nice to meet you.
Goldie Delicious: Uh-huh. And who exactly are you?
Pinkie Pie: We're Apples!
Applejack: Well, we think we're all Apples. But we need your help finding out if Pinkie Pie here is our fourth cousin twice removed.
Goldie Delicious: Well why didn't you say so? If anypony can help solve this genealogy mystery, it's me!
[door creaking]
Goldie Delicious: [straining] Oh, I am sorry about this. I wasn't exactly expectin' company. Lemme try to squeeze in here... [straining]
[cats complaining]
Goldie Delicious: Gotta... get some oil... for the hinges... Alrighty then, just have to move a few things out of the way of the door. Ooh! Ah! Get off of that, Mr. Fluffy... Come on, Pooples... Come here, sweetheart... Come on in! Sorry about the mess!
[many, many cat noises]
Applejack: Whoa!
Goldie Delicious: Oh, careful now. Those belonged to your great-great-great-great uncle Apple Tart!
Apple Bloom: Well, whose was this?
Goldie Delicious: Well, that was my lunch. A couple of weeks ago.
[cats purring]
Goldie Delicious: [blows dust away] [straining] This here is a complete record of, of our family tree! It's not here, or here, or, or here, or it certainly isn't here, is it...? Oh, here it is! ...Oh, dear.
Granny Smith: 'Oh, dear'? What is it?
Pinkie Pie: Am I not an Apple after all?
Goldie Delicious: Well, that's just it. I don't know. The page is all smudged. I sure am sorry, but I don't think I can help you out after all.
Pinkie Pie: Don't be sorry, it's okay. I'm just a little disappointed that I'll never know for sure if I'm a part of this family.
Applejack: Well, I know for sure!
Pinkie Pie: What do you mean? You can't know!
Applejack: I can know for sure that it doesn't matter what the book says or doesn't say. After all you've been through with us and all you've put up with, it's obvious you're an Apple to the core!
Granny Smith: Darn tootin'!
Apple Bloom: Yes siree!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Say 'best family hug ever'!
Apple family: Best family hug ever!
[camera clicks]
Applejack: Thanks again for the wagon, Goldie! We'll see you soon!
Goldie Delicious: Y'all sure you don't want to take any of these Apple family heirlooms home with you?
[crash]
[cat mews]
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
[All]
We're Apples forever, Apples together
We're family, but so much more
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
We're Apples to the core!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Applejack: Twilight agreed this was definitely an experience worth puttin' in the journal. Think I'll write about how bein' a good family isn't about bein' perfect as much as it is about bein' able to get through the rough patches together. About bein' able to forgive each other for mistakes.
Apple Bloom: Don't forget to mention how really good friends can also feel like your family.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: You know what? Maybe I should write it. I'm good at makin' things sound excitin'.
Granny Smith: I have a history of excellent storytellin'. I should probably do it— Hey! Where in the haystack do you think you're goin' with that there pen?!
Big McIntosh: I'm goin' to do- [voice drowned out]
Apple family: [arguing]
Pinkie Pie: [to the viewers] Look at me! I'm part of the Apple family too! I'm arguing! Argue, argue, argue! Bicker, bicker! [laughs]
[credits]

Rainbow Falls

Rainbow Dash: Alright, ponies, listen up!
Fluttershy: We're all ears. Right, Bulk Biceps?
Bulk Biceps: [kissing noises] [grunts] Nuh-uh! I'm all muscles! Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: I like your attitude, Bulk Biceps, but it's gonna take more than muscles and Yeah!s to get us to the Equestria Games! We are the Aerial Relay team, and it's up to the three of us to make sure that we qualify at the tryouts. And do I need to remind you how much I— I mean, Ponyville, heh, wants to qualify and make it to the Games?
Fluttershy: I remember. I really, really, really want to qualify for you and Ponyville.
Bulk Biceps: Bring it on!
Pinkie Pie: Gimme a 'P' for 'Ponyville'!
Fluttershy: [yelps]
Pinkie Pie: [through megaphone] P, Ponyville!
Bulk Biceps: P!
Fluttershy: Oh, thanks, Pinkie Pie. That was a scary— I mean, great cheer. [laughs nervously]
Rainbow Dash: Just make sure you have one ready for when we qualify for the Aerial Relay.
Bulk Biceps: And after that, for when we win gold medals in the Equestria Games!
Applejack: Not so fast! If you're gonna be good, you're gonna be better with some of my apple brown bettys in ya. They're perfect.
Pinkie Pie: 'P' is for 'perfect'!
Bulk Biceps and Fluttershy: [chewing]
Rainbow Dash: Alright, team! Show me what you got! Put some bend into those knees! Flap those wings! And I want to see all four hooves off the ground on the count of three! [beat] [quickly] One two three!
Bulk Biceps: [straining noises]
Rainbow Dash: Don't forget to breathe while you're up there!
Bulk Biceps: [wheezes]
Fluttershy: [yelps]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: 'P' is for, uhh... 'pain'?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[theme song]
[train engine sounds]
Helia: Good luck, Rainbow Dash! Sorry we couldn't fly with you on the Aerial Relay, but the air sprinters needed us too.
Thunderlane: Too bad we can only compete in one event. [sighs] But rules are rules.
Twilight Sparkle: Good luck! [to Rainbow Dash] It was nice of you to be part of the team that doesn't have... uh... the strongest flyers.
Rainbow Dash: Nothing nice about it. I know that I can pick up the slack for anypony. With me on the team, we'll qualify. I'm sure of it.
Twilight Sparkle: Ponyville is very lucky to have you.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.
Fluttershy: [straining] [gasping] I am so proud to be representing Ponyville. [straining] Oh, it's such an honor to even try out for the Games. I just hope I don't let anypony down.
Bulk Biceps: We'll make them proud!
Pinkie Pie: 'P' is for 'proud'! We're gonna be the best fans anypony has ever seen!
Rarity: Ooh. Can't wait to see what everypony else is wearing, even though I am absolutely sure they won't be better than the Ponyville uniforms I'm designing for the Equestria Games.
Applejack: And we will make it to the Games once everypony carbo-loads on my apple brown bettys.
Pinkie Pie: I can't wait!
[train engine sounds]
Ponies: [excited chattering, groaning]
Mane Moon: There's Rainbow Dash! She's an awesome flyer!
Orange Swirl: I heard that she's flying the last third of the relay, which means everypony else is gonna have to be way ahead to beat her!
[distant boom]
Mane Moon: Oh, the Wonderbolts!
Sprinkle Medley: I hear they're flying for Cloudsdale.
Orange Swirl: Then Cloudsdale will definitely qualify. They're the best flyers ever.
Spitfire: And the game is on!
Soarin: Hah, nice to see there's some real competition here!
Fleetfoot: Two more days of practice, then we'll see you in the air, Rainbow Dash! If you're lucky.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] The Wonderbolts know a winner when they see one, and we'll be winners just as soon as we practice! Right team?
Fluttershy: Right.
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie: Hooray! [blows party hooter]
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: And, um, I'm with her! Hooray!
Cloudsdale cheerleaders: Give us some clouds! Give us some dale! And what do you get? Cloudsdale! Woo-hoo!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Where can I get pompoms like those?!
Rainbow Dash: So, do I need to remind you of what our goal is here?
Bulk Biceps: Uh, maybe?
Rainbow Dash: We want to qualify! We need to be one of the first four teams to cross the finish line! Bulk Biceps, you're the first flyer, so let me see you flap it!
Bulk Biceps: [grunts]
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: What the?
Applejack: Sorry! Got the idea from them, but...
Rainbowshine and Sprinkle Medley: Hooves down! Cakes up!
Fleetfoot and Spitfire: [chewing]
Applejack: ...It looks like they got better aim.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, the passing of the baton needs to be seamless. You shouldn't miss a wing beat or drop a hair in altitude! And whatever you do, don't let go of it!
Fluttershy: Are you really, really, really sure you're ready? I mean, I don't want to take it if you're not super sure.
Bulk Biceps: Ready!
[clink, thud]
Rarity: Ponyville could do so much better. I'll be back with a freshly painted one in no time!
Rainbow Dash: We were using that! And it's not like anypony else has color-coordinated horseshoes or anything!
[clink]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I guess some ponies do.
Twilight Sparkle: Some ponies do what?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Have a better chance of qualifying and going to the Equestria Games than others.
Rainbow Dash: Watch and learn. The Cloudsdales are Wonderbolts, and Wonderbolts are the best flyers there are. And my personal heroes. So, maybe you can learn something.
[jet engine sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Please learn something?
Fleetfoot: C'mon, Soarin, pick up the pace! You can do better than that!
Spitfire: I sure hope so.
Cloudsdale cheerleaders: Practice, practice, yay, practice!
Soarin: Whoa!
[sound of plane plummeting]
Soarin: Whooaaaa!
Soarin: Aaaaah! Help!
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
Wonderbolts and Ponyville team: [excited cheering]
Fleetfoot: Awe-some!
Spitfire: As good as any Wonderbolt!
Fluttershy: Oh, Rainbow Dash, I'm just so proud of you. You scooped Soarin out of the sky and brought him down to the ground and now, now he's okay. At least, I hope he's okay. [to Soarin] Are you okay?
Soarin: Uh, my wing hurts, but I-I'm sure it'll be okay by the competition.
[siren wailing]
Soarin: You're the best, Rainbow Dash. [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Ah, it was nothin'. But, if you feel like talking about how great I am, don't let me stop you!
[siren wailing]
Bulk Biceps: 'P' is for Rainbow Dash!
Fluttershy: [whispering] Um, 'Rainbow Dash' actually starts with an 'R'.
Bulk Biceps: Never mind!
Rainbow Dash: Tough break to lose a teammate right before the tryouts.
Fleetfoot: You know, you grew up in Cloudsdale.
Spitfire: So that means you could fly with us.
Rainbow Dash: Fly?
Fleetfoot: Uh, we mean practice. You could practice with us until Soarin's better.
Spitfire: What do you say? Wanna be our third?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I don't know. My team really needs me to be at my best in order to qualify. Don't wanna be too worn out by the time the race comes around.
Spitfire: We put you through some pretty intense workouts at the Wonderbolt Academy and you handled those just fine.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, I did kick some major tail at the Academy... but I don't know how my teammates will feel about me practicing with the competition.
Fleetfoot: Who says they need to know? Think about it, Rainbow Dash! This is your chance to fly with the winners!
Bulk Biceps: [flexing muscles]
Rainbow Dash: Alright, I'll do it.
Spitfire: [chuckles] Wise decision, Rainbow Dash.
[training montage music]
[clink]
Fleetfoot: Awesome!
Cloudsdale cheerleaders: Whinny, ponies, whinny! Fly on, fly on, fly on!
Bulk Biceps: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Bulk Biceps, you can do it!
[creaking]
Fluttershy: Um... I'm ready to take the horseshoe, if you want me to.
[clink]
Bulk Biceps and Fluttershy: [screaming]
[distant crash]
Rainbow Dash: Nnnngh...
[training montage music]
[squeaking]
Fluttershy: [yelps] Oof!
Rainbow Dash: You, uh, keep doing your wing-ups. I'm just gonna get some, uh, water.
[training montage music]
Fluttershy: [chewing]
Bulk Biceps: [chewing] [laughs] [swallows] [grunts]
Applejack and Fluttershy: [laughing]
[training montage music]
[buffing tool spinning]
[hairdryer blowing]
[scissors cutting]
Bulk Biceps: [laughs] Yeah!
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Rarity: Too much?
[training montage music]
[zip noise]
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: It's not easy practicing with two teams, is it?
Rainbow Dash: [spit-take] You... know? Does anypony else?
Twilight Sparkle: No. They're too busy practicing to wonder why you keep disappearing.
Rainbow Dash: Well, I've seen the other teams practicing and we're still gonna qualify. I can fly fast enough to make up the distance.
Twilight Sparkle: It just seems like one of the teams you're practicing with needs a little more help than the other one.
Rainbow Dash: But it's so much more fun working out with the winners than... um... the non-winners. Besides, Ponyville will still qualify.
Spitfire: Rainbow Dash, you got a minute?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, sure.
Fleetfoot: You could really be an asset to our team, so... we want you to join the Cloudsdale team. Permanently.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Spitfire: It looks like Soarin's wing won't heal in time for the trials. We want you to fly with us.
Fleetfoot: Of course, this means you won't be able to fly for Ponyville, but let's face it. Even with you on their team, their chances of qualifying for the Games—
Bulk Biceps: Ow!
Fleetfoot: —are pretty slim.
Bulk Biceps: [whimpering]
Spitfire: So, what's it gonna be?
Rainbow Dash: Well, I...
Spitfire: Take some time to think about it.
Rainbow Dash: They want me to fly with them! It's like a dream come true!
Twilight Sparkle: If you fly for Cloudsdale, Pinkie Pie won't have anypony to cheer for. Rarity's uniforms will never be seen. And Applejack will have slaved over those apple brown bettys for nothing.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, but I really wanna fly with the best team! What would you do?
Twilight Sparkle: I think this is a decision you have to make on your own. The race is tomorrow, so you'd better make it soon.
[anemometer spinning]
Rainbow Dash: [exaggerated groaning] Woe is me! Oooh!
Crowd: [concerned chattering]
Fluttershy: What's happened?
Rainbow Dash: Urgh, I've hurt my hoof...
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [gasps]
Spitfire: All of them?
Rainbow Dash: I, uh, tripped on a-a foam hoof and landed on a... [mumbles, near unintelligible] pokey stick coming out of the ground...
Pinkie Pie: [growls] If I get my hooves on that [matching unintelligible gibberish], it'll be in big trouble!
Rainbow Dash: There is no way I can fly now.
Fluttershy: Do you think you'll be better by tryouts?
Rainbow Dash: [exaggerated groaning] I'll be lucky if I ever fly again! [sighs] I just need a little rest.
Fluttershy: Oh, don't worry, Rainbow Dash. We'll take care of you... or, at least, somepony will. Like, a medic or-or a doctor, or a nurse.
[EKG beeping]
Twilight Sparkle: So, the medic pony isn't sure what's wrong with you.
Rainbow Dash: Everything! Absolutely everything!
Applejack: This'll cure everythin' that ails ya!
Rainbow Dash: [with mouth full] Thank you. I couldn't have done that on my own.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rarity: Nothing says 'get better' like a little medical pizazz! Silk slings and a glitter bandage?
Rainbow Dash: That might help.
[door opens]
Fluttershy: And how is our patient doing?
[thud]
Bulk Biceps: [neighs]
Rainbow Dash: I've been better.
Fluttershy: We just wanted to let you know that we're so sorry you're hurt, but you shouldn't worry a bit about not being able to be in the tryouts. We'll be alright. We even have a replacement. We're so, so sorry that you can't compete. We all know how much you love to fly. And we promise—
Bulk Biceps: Cross our hearts!
Fluttershy: ...That if we qualify and make it to the Equestria Games and all win gold medals, you can have ours, because we know how much a gold medal means to you.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks...
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] I think Rainbow Dash might need to rest some more.
Rest of main cast: [chattering]
Applejack: Don't forget your bettys!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, choosing not to choose isn't really a decision.
Soarin: You sure have nice friends. Nopony's been by to visit me. Eh, too busy practicing, I guess.
Rainbow Dash: Well, hopefully your wing will be better soon.
Soarin: Oh, it's fine. I-I'm just keeping it warm in case my team wants me back.
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean, 'wants you back'? Spitfire and Fleetfoot told me that you were still too injured to fly!
Soarin: And they told me that they were worried I wouldn't be one hundred percent by the tryouts, so they were going with somepony else!
Rainbow Dash: That somepony else was me! Until, uh, well, until I got hurt, that is.
Soarin: So, [sighs] I guess we're all out of luck. Cloudsdale won't qualify without three fliers, and Ponyville won't qualify without you. Too bad...
Twilight Sparkle: Even with Rainbow Dash's replacement, I don't think we're gonna qualify. No offense.
Pinkie Pie: Gah! What am I gonna do with all these now?!
Applejack: Uh, what were you gonna do with them before?
Rarity: [sighs] Maybe my Equestria Games uniforms will still be in style next year. I mean, I am pretty fashion-forward.
[hoofbeats]
Twilight Sparkle: Is that Rainbow Dash... walking?
Spitfire: [drinking water]
Fleetfoot: Does... this mean you're feeling better?
Rainbow Dash: I-I feel great, because... I was never hurt in the first place.
Wonderbolts: [gasps]
Bulk Biceps, Fluttershy and Derpy: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I faked my injury so that I wouldn't have to choose between flying for Ponyville or Cloudsdale. I wanted to fly with you both, and the decision was too hard!
Fluttershy: Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don't have to choose us. I know you love to win, and you should go with the team that surely will.
Rainbow Dash: I know now who I should've been loyal to.
Spitfire: Good choice. Always stick with the winners.
Rainbow Dash: Ponyville. Because it's not just where I live, but it's where my friends are. The ponies who really care about me, whether I can help them win a race or not.
Rest of main cast and Derpy: [cheering]
Spitfire: Are you sure that's the right decision?
Rainbow Dash: You lied to me about Soarin's wing just so you could get a better flyer! You may be a winning team, but you're still not the kind of team I wanna be a part of.
Spitfire: Huh. Rainbow Dash, you are something. Saw it at the Academy, seeing it again here. We could learn a lot from a competitor like you.
Fleetfoot: Think we already have.
Spitfire: Ready to fly?
Soarin: Really?
Spitfire: Never should've lied and tried to replace you to begin with.
Soarin: [gasps] Go, Cloudsdale!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Ponyville relay team! We've got a race to get ready for!
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
[click]
Soarin: Come on, Ponyville! You can do it!
[flapping wings]
[ticking]
[clink]
[fumbling]
Bulk Biceps: [wheezes]
Twilight Sparkle: Go, Fluttershy! Woo-hoo!
Cloudsdale cheerleaders: Qualify, Ponyville! Qualify, Ponyville!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Go, Rainbow Dash!
Applejack: [chewing]
Official: Ponyville qualifies!
[crowd cheering, neighing]
[crowd cheering]
[clicking]
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
Main cast sans Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Equestria Games, here we come!
[camera flashing]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I can't deny it. I love to win! But if I ever gotta choose between winning and being loyal to my friends, I'm always gonna choose my friends. 'Cause as much as I love winning, I love them waaaaay more.
[credits]

Three's A Crowd

[mailbox opening]
[door closing]
Spike: Mail's here!
Twilight Sparkle: Please be a yes, please be a yes, please be a yes... Yes! She can make it, she can make it!
Spike: Going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that Princess Cadance said she can come this weekend!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm finally gonna get to spend some quality time with my sister-in-law! This is the best news ever!
[knocking on door]
Fluttershy: Um, so sorry for barging in like this... but I'm so excited, I just couldn't wait to tell somepony! The Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures have given me permission to observe the rarest, tiniest, most adorable magical creatures in all of Equestria – the Breezies!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Fluttershy, that's fantastic!
Fluttershy: Oh, it's not just fantastic; it just might be the best news ever!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: I just got the most incredible mail anypony's ever received in all of recorded pony postal history! It's a flyer about a one-day sale on used patio furniture! Aah! Could this day get any better? Woo-hoo!
[theme song]
[train engine hissing]
Rarity: Here's a wrap, in case it gets cold.
Applejack: And I packed you a basket of nice fresh apples in case you get hungry.
Twilight Sparkle: Have a great time!
Fluttershy: Oh, I will. And I hope you have fun with Cadance.
[train whistle blowing]
Conductor: All aboard!
[door closes]
[train engine noises]
Fluttershy: Goodbye! Goodbye, everypony!
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy! I'll never forget youuuuuuu! [beat] Ooh, something floaty! La-la-la-la-la!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm a bit nervous about Cadance's visit!
Applejack: What could you be nervous about, Twilight? Cadance just loves you to pieces!
Twilight Sparkle: I know, but I really want her visit to go without a hitch!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, why wouldn't it?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the last three times we've seen each other haven't exactly been worry-free.
Rarity: The fate of Equestria has hung in the balance during most of your visits with her.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. Cadance and I haven't really had a chance to just enjoy being friends again. Which is why it is so important that this visit be about the two of us having some real quality time together.
Applejack: I'm guessin' you've got a plan that'll keep it that way.
Twilight Sparkle: The timing couldn't be more perfect. For one day only, right here in Ponyville, the Star Swirl the Bearded Traveling Museum! Cadance and I can spend the whole day looking at Star Swirl the Bearded artifacts!
Rarity: Sounds like a perfect drama-free way to spend the day with Cadance.
Twilight Sparkle: Not counting the drama surrounding which of the bells from his cloak they've chosen to put on display. Spoiler alert: it's this one!
Rainbow Dash: [hacks] Uh, sorry. Something in my throat... like a big ball of 'lame'!
Rarity: I think it sounds delightful.
Applejack: Yup, definitely sounds like you two will have some real quality time together.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. Just quiet time.
[train whistle blows loudly]
[loud train engine noises]
[fanfare]
Princess Cadance: Your Highness.
Twilight Sparkle: Your Highness.
Princess Cadance: I'm teasing, Twilight. We're sisters-in-law. We don't have to be so formal.
[train whistle blows]
[train engine noises]
Princess Cadance: Knowing you, you've made some plans.
Twilight Sparkle: Boy, have I. Hang on just one second. [to rest of main cast] You guys-
Rarity: Now, now, don't you worry about a thing! We will make sure that nothing – but nothing – interferes with your visit.
Applejack: Go on, have a hootenanny with your kinfolk.
Twilight Sparkle: You really are the best friends a pony could ever have. Coming, Cadance!
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Two sisters-in-law bonding. Well, I for one am gonna make sure that nothing spoils their day!
[something whistling in the distance]
Applejack: What is that thing?
Rarity: Whatever it is... duuuck!!!
Pinkie Pie: Rarity, that doesn't look anything like a duck!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: What is that?
Discord: [sniffing] No, not a "what", but a "who", dear.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no... That sounds like...
Discord: [sneezes] [sniffs] Oh...
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: Discord!
Applejack: What in tarnation are you doin' here? And why the jumpin' June bugs are you blue?
Rarity: More like a shade of cerulean, to be precise.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever color you are is the color of trouble!
Discord: Oh, Rainbow Dash, I've changed, surely you remember? I was reformed by lovely little- [starts snorting] F-F-Fluttershy- [sneezes]
Applejack: What are you, sick or somethin'?
Discord: Well, of course I'm sick. The blue skin? These sneezes? Could somebody find me a fainting couch?
[beat]
Rarity: What?
Discord: How charming, thank you. I can't stop sneezing and wheezing. In short... I need help. [whines]
Rainbow Dash: If you're so 'sick', why have you come here instead of, y'know, staying home in bed and getting over your weird illness?
Discord: [sneezes] [blows nose] Because this condition has left me helpless, simply helpless! Why, I can barely lift a spoon.
[clang]
Discord: I came to find the one pony who truly understands me and could nurse me back to health. Where is that dear, sweet Fluttershy? I need attention! I need some care! I need-
Rainbow Dash: You need to chill. Fluttershy's out.
Discord: Oh, of course, her trip to see the Breezies. Ah, yes, I had forgotten that was today.
Applejack: How do you know about her trip?
Discord: Well, she told me about it in her last letter.
Pinkie Pie: You and Fluttershy write each other letters?
Discord: Well, of course we do! We're friends! It's just such a shame that today of all days is when I really need her. Oh, well, I know what to do.
Rainbow Dash: Good thinking. Head on home, put your feet up. I'm sure eventually you'll have the strength to make yourself soup or something...
Discord: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no! I mean, while she's gone, you ponies can take care of me! Isn't that what friends are for, taking care of each other? [laughs] Let the healing begin!
Rainbow Dash: Not it!
Discord: Well, that's some way to treat a suffering friend. [sneezes]
Pinkie Pie: Don't you worry, Discord! I'll give you cuddles, and read you stories, and tell you all about me! I was born on a Tuesday-
Discord: Oh, you're so sweet to offer, but Rarity and Applejack already volunteered to be my own personal nursemaids. [chuckles]
Applejack and Rarity: We did?
Discord: I so hope you don't mind, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Well, as a matter of fact, I most certainly- Hey! Who keeps throwing away these perfectly good balloons?
Applejack: [hushed] That joker's up to something, and whatever it is, we're gonna keep it as far away from Twilight and Princess Cadance as possible.
[ECG beeping]
Rarity: [hushed] You're right. We promised we wouldn't let anything ruin their visit... although I do so wish that "anything" had turned out to be something else!
Discord: Did I hear you two talking about Princess Cadance's visit with Princess Twilight?
Applejack: Maybe.
Discord: Fluttershy had mentioned that those two were getting together today. Mm-hm. How wonderful for them both. It is so rare that those two get to see one another. I don't know about you, but I sometimes wonder how close they could actually be. All those years apart before being reunited?
Applejack: They're plenty close.
Discord: And if they're not, this rare opportunity to focus on their friendship will certainly bring them closer. Unless...
Rarity: Don't even think about it! They mustn't be disturbed!
Discord: Disturb them? I wouldn't dream of it. Not when I have two such dear friends of my own who have already offered to take care of me. And at such peril! This flu of mine is highly- [snorts] [sneezes] contagious.
Applejack and Rarity: [sneezes]
[crash]
Discord: Oh no, I've gotten you both sick. Whomever shall I turn to now in my time of need? [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: A whole day to celebrate Star Swirl the Bearded. What could be better?
Princess Cadance: Absolutely nothing. [gasps] Is that the candlestick he used to light the way when he was exploring the caverns of Maretania?
Twilight Sparkle: It sure is!
Princess Cadance: Oh, I can't believe I'm getting to see it in real life!
[rattling]
Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Discord: [sneezes]
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! What are you doing here?!
Discord: Oh, dear, dear Princesses, I'm sorry to say that I'm sick. [hacks] Blue flu.
Princess Cadance: Blue flu?
Discord: Ah, I fear I've already given it to poor Applejack and Rarity. [sneezes]
Princess Cadance: Magic health bubble.
Twilight Sparkle: Good thinking.
Discord: Indeed. How would Twilight nurse me back to health if she were sick too? You will be letting me stay at your place until I'm all better, won't you?
Twilight Sparkle: Stay? With me?! Uh, now is not really the best time, though I'm sure you already knew that...
Discord: But taking in the sick and the desperate - isn't that what Fluttershy would do? Isn't 'helping' something that friends do for friends? Unless, of course, you're really saying that you're not my friend.
Twilight Sparkle: [through gritted teeth] No, that is not what I'm saying.
Discord: Oh, how elated I am to hear that. Shall the three of us head back to your place? I don't want to get anypony else sick.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Guess we don't have much choice.
Discord: Carry me?
Princess Cadance: It isn't far. I think you can manage.
Discord: Oh, poo.
Twilight Sparkle: Need anything else?
Discord: Just knowing that I have a good friend like you to take care of me has made me feel better already. I'll be fine here on my own. Oh, just before you go, just a little small request.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Princess Cadance: It's going to be fine. We'll just get him what he wants and be back to the exhibit in no time. What was it that you needed?
[Discord]
A little glass of water please
A fresh pressed hanky if I sneeze
Some tea with honey from the bees
Whenever you can brew it
Princess Cadance: I'll get your tea.
[Discord]
And while I get a little rest
A teeny tiny small request
Some codfish oil for my chest
Poured from a crystal cruet
Twilight Sparkle: A crystal cruet?
[Discord]
[singing faster]
My goodness, I'm a nincompoop
Because I fear I've got the croup
I need a vat of pumpkin soup
And scarves made out of zinnias
Did I say zinnias? I meant silk
Or something shiny of that ilk
And then I'll need some nice warm milk
And pastries from Abyssinia
And since my stomach's feeling crummy
Why not give my aching tummy
Something soothing, something yummy
Piled up with noodles?
Add a slice of homemade rye
With stacks of Swiss way up high
Served with sides of sweet mince pie
More basil; I need oodles!
Twilight Sparkle: Anything else?
[Discord]
I'll be grateful for your charity
Until the bitter end
Because I've heard that tenderness
Is what you lend an ailing friend
Tenderness, isn't that right, friend?
Twilight Sparkle: Right, but—
Discord: So, who's ready for my big reprise?
I'd like that glass of water please
Some magic spell to cure disease
A firm "gesundhoof" when I sneeze
A fresh bouquet of roses
Some lozenges will soon appease
My wheezing when I start to sneeze
A wig to keep me from the breeze
And blankets for my toes-es
Take tweezers out of my valise
And then massage my knobby knees
A bowl of peas, some extra cheese
A cuddle with a Pekingese
A singing harp who's named Louise
A goat on skis, a new trapeze
And more and more and more and more of these
And just because I oughta...
Make sure I'm drinking in the right
Amount of fluids day and night
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have just one little thing
Oh, would you please finally bring
Me that tiny glass
Of water?!!
[coughs]
[clink]
Discord: Oops. Sorry. [sneezes]
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, this is ridiculous!
Princess Cadance: How did you even catch this flu?
Discord: Inadequate hoof and claw washing?
Twilight Sparkle: There must be some way to just cure you! There has to be a spell or remedy in one of my books!
Discord: There is one way...
Princess Cadance: And you didn't think to mention it earlier?
Discord: Slipped my mind. On a hill at the very edge of Equestria, there grows an exquisite magic flower. Pick the flower as it drops its petals at sunset. Then you can make a magical soothing elixir to cure the blue flu.
Twilight Sparkle: I suppose you have a good reason you didn't bother to get this flower as soon as you realized you were sick?
Discord: Well, I couldn't travel that far in my condition. By the time I got there, I'd be too weak to even attempt to retrieve the flower.
Twilight Sparkle: So where exactly are Cadance and I headed?
Discord: Well, [clears throat] you'll want to head north, turn left, th— Oh... You know, it'd be much easier if I took you there myself.
Princess Cadance: I thought you were in no condition to travel.
Discord: I'm not. We'll need to make some arrangements. [chuckles]
Princess Cadance: [straining]
Twilight Sparkle: Doing okay there?
Princess Cadance: To be honest, I'm a little out of practice when it comes to flying.
Discord: Well, then lucky for you. We're here.
[thud]
Discord: It's just at the top of that hill.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm really sorry about this. All I wanted was to have some peaceful quality time together.
Princess Cadance: I know, I was looking forward to it too.
[eagle screeches]
Twilight Sparkle: This is the top. But where is that flower? Oh. Come on, if we hurry, we can still have some time together.
[cracking]
Princess Cadance: One... last... pull!
Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
Twilight Sparkle: Phew! Let's get Discord and this flower back home, then all our problems are solved-
Princess Cadance: What in Equestria?!
Tatzlwurm: [roars]
Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle: [screaming]
Tatzlwurm: [roars]
Princess Cadance: Twilight! Help!
Twilight Sparkle: Get your coils off my sister-in-law!
[thud]
Tatzlwurm: [roars]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Princess Cadance: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Princess Cadance: Let go of my sister-in-law!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks!
Princess Cadance: Don't thank me yet!
Tatzlwurm: [roars]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic zapping, Tatzlwurm roaring]
Twilight Sparkle: Just... a little... more!
Tatzlwurm: [roars] [Wilhelm scream]
Princess Cadance: And for good measure...!
[thud, crashing]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Are you okay?
Princess Cadance: [panting] Yes. Better than okay actually.
Twilight Sparkle: Then let's get Discord back to Ponyville, make that elixir, and finally get a chance to spend some quality time together.
Discord: To the ends of Equestria! To face such great danger! And she did it for me! She did it all for me, for me, for me! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: You... were... faking?!
Discord: I was! But I had a very good reason.
Twilight Sparkle: We're listening.
Discord: Well, I was in my thinking tree – that's where I do most of my really deep thinking – I was there, and I said to myself, I said, "Discord, your friend Twilight says that she's your pal, but she never writes and she never pops in for a visit."
Twilight Sparkle: I don't even know where you li-
Discord: "Now that she's a princess, maybe she's decided that she's too good for you."
Twilight Sparkle: I have never considered myself t-
Discord: But how was I supposed to know for sure that I'm truly still friends with one of the most important ponies around?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not more-
Discord: By seeing if you would go to the ends of Equestria for me, of course. Which you did, literally. Congratulations, Twilight, you passed my friendship test!
[clink]
Discord: Why the angry eyes? You love passing tests. It's not because my little exam put a damper on your visit with Princess Cadance, is it? Made it so that there was no time for you two to focus on your friendship?
Princess Cadance: You didn't put a damper on our visit at all.
Twilight Sparkle:
He didn't?!
Discord:
I didn't?!
Princess Cadance: Spending the day at the Star Swirl the Bearded exhibit would've been more relaxing, but to be honest, relaxation is the last thing I need.
Twilight Sparkle: It is?
Princess Cadance: Don't get me wrong. Life in the Crystal Empire is wonderful, but it's become a little... predictable. I enjoy a little excitement now and then. Getting to face all these challenges today was just what I needed. And facing them with you just made me realize even more how lucky I am to have somepony like you as a friend. We may not see each other very often, but I know you'll always be there when I need you. Just like she was there for you, Discord.
Discord: Yes, she's a real sweetheart. We're all so lucky to have her in our lives.
[rumbling]
Tatzlwurm: [roars]
Discord: What in the world?!
Tatzlwurm: [spits]
[popping]
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's pretty clear that my visit with Cadance didn't go quite the way I expected. But in the end, I realized that when you're with a good friend, even the most chaotic day can end up being a great experience that brings you closer. Wouldn't you agree, Discord?
Discord: [snorts] Yes, Twilight.
Applejack: I don't wanna go sayin' you got what you deserved...
Rarity: Well, I have no trouble saying it. You got what you deserved!
Fluttershy: Now, now, he's learned his lesson. Isn't that right, my little patient?
Discord: I'm so glad that you're back from your trip, Fluttershy. Just your presence here is making me feel so much better. I was just wondering, could I trouble you for just one more thing?
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Discord: What? I was simply going to ask for a teeny, tiny glass of water.
[credits]

Pinkie Pride

[cheering]
Cheese Sandwich: Well, Boneless. Looks like our work here is done.
[sloop]
Cheese Sandwich: Yep, those ponies never partied so hard. Thanks to me: Cheese. Cheese Sandwich.
[tingling, accordion playing]
Cheese Sandwich: Woo-hoo-hoo! That was a doozy! Well, Boneless. Looks like our next party is gonna be in... Ponyville.
[theme song]
[Pinkie Pie]
Every single day there's something new you can plan for
Every single day there's something wonderful to do
But nothing makes me happy like a day that I can say
"Today I planned a party, and it's just for you!"
Vendor Pony: How's it going today, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Great, thanks! Got any streamers today?
Vendor Pony: [chuckles] You betcha! Big party planned?
Pinkie Pie: Don't you know it!
[Pinkie Pie]
Don't have much time to gather all the things I need
If I'm really gonna make this party fly
For today's another day that all of Ponyville will say
[Crowd]
There goes the super party pony Pinkie Pie!
[Mr. and Mrs. Cake]
She planned our first foal shower where we played all sorts of games
Having so much fun as we chose Pound and Pumpkin's names
[Diamond Tiara]
She planned my cute-ceañera my dad made me, I won't lie
I demanded all the best, I suppose she passed the test
Sure it was pretty good all thanks to Pinkie Pie
Pinkie Pie: Thanks, I guess?
Art Vendor: What color paints do you need?
Pinkie Pie: I'm gonna need the full rainbow!
Art Vendor: A paintbrush too?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, if you please!
Peachy Pitt: And what from me?
Pinkie Pie: Your biggest banner! This party's gonna be the best!
Peachy Pitt: Haha I don't doubt it!
[Crowd]
Every single day there's something new we can plan for
Every single day there's something wonderful to try
But nothing makes us happy like a day that we can say
"Today there'll be a party planned by Pinkie Pie!"
Rarity: I don't know how she does it.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, look at her go!
Applejack: Oh, boy! This is gonna be good!
Fluttershy: Go, Pinkie, go!
[Crowd]
There's no other pony like her, no pony that could be
As great! (As great!) As fun! (As fun!)
As our super party pony Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, I am so, so, SO excited because today I'm planning the birthday bash of... Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: You realize that, by enlisting me as your party planner, I guarantee that this is going to be the funnest, most fantabulous, superbial party in Ponyville?
Rainbow Dash: Uh...yeah? I guess.
Pinkie Pie: No guesses! Parties are no picnic.
Fluttershy: Oh, I like a nice picnic party.
Pinkie Pie: [growls]
Fluttershy: Oh!
Pinkie Pie: Parties. Are. Serious! And you have my certified Pinkie Party Promise that you will have the best birthday party ever!
Rainbow Dash: Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Great! Now, who's ready to join this super duper party pony to plan this super duper pa-rty?
Cheese Sandwich: I am.
[gasps]
Cheese Sandwich: [blows party horn]
Pinkie Pie: Who are you, stranger?
Cheese Sandwich: Name's Cheese Sandwich. I plan parties.
Pinkie Pie: What an amazing coincidence! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm planning a party!
Cheese Sandwich: Oh, it's no coincidence, my little pony. My cheesy sense was a-tingling, telling me a party was in the works.
Pinkie Pie: A cheesy sense? Ah! Double amazing! I have a Pinkie Sense!
Cheese Sandwich: Yes. I sensed you did. And I happen to be the premiere party planner in all of Equestria. If there's a party in need, there I'll be. Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I'm your pony.
Pinkie Pie: A pair of party pony planners in Ponyville?! What can be more perfect?!
Rainbow Dash: I'll tell you what -- making this party epic! 'Cause this isn't just any birthday. It's also the anniversary of when I moved to Ponyville!
Rarity: Good heavens, Rainbow Dash. It's your "birth-iversary"!
Rainbow Dash: Exactly! So what do you say, party planners?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I think we can do it!
Cheese Sandwich: Oh, I don't think so.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Cheese Sandwich: I know so! After all...
[Cheese Sandwich]
The super-duper party pony–that pony is me
I always knew that was the kind of pony I would be
Pinkie Pie: Me too!
Cheese Sandwich: Come on, ponies! Who here likes to party? Ha-ha! You do! I can tell!
When I was but a little colt, I just wanted to play
Pinkie Pie: Like me!
[Cheese Sandwich]
But everypony told me, "Cheese, that fun just wastes the day"
Pinkie Pie: As if!
[Cheese Sandwich]
But when I threw a party and I busted out some moves
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh!
[Cheese Sandwich]
The ponies finally saw the light and got into the groove
Pinkie Pie: You know it!
[Cheese Sandwich]
The super-duper party pony–that pony is me
Pinkie Pie: And me!
[Cheese Sandwich]
You'll never meet another party pony quite like Cheese!
Pinkie Pie: Uh, Pinkie?
Cheese Sandwich: Hey, good-lookin', want some mayonnaise?
My parties are all off the hook
I never plan them by the book
I start out fun, then whoopsie-daisy
Everybody just gets crazy!
Bored of snacks made by your mom?
How about a giant party bomb?
Huge piñatas filled with cake
Or dive into my fruit punch lake!
Goldengrape: Geronimo!
[Cheese Sandwich]
The super-duper party pony–that pony is me
You'll never meet another party pony quite like Cheese
C'mon, kid, take it for a spin!
Colt: Golly! Thanks, mister!
[Cheese Sandwich]
Oh, when I throw a Cheese party, be sure to not be lame
And miss my pie fights, wacky kites, and streamers in your mane
Fizzy drinks, Hawaiian shirts, and brie fondue delight
You know that with Cheese Sandwich, you'll be partying all night!
Rainbow Dash: C'mon, everypony! Let's party down with Cheese!
Fluttershy: You're really a certified party pony?
Cheese Sandwich: That's right! That's my guarantee!
The super-duper party pony–that pony is me-e-e-e-e
[Pinkie Pie]
But what about the super party pony named Pinkie...?
Cheese Sandwich: [indistinct] Thanks buddy! You're gonna love this party! Hey kid, have a streamer, on me!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Hah, now that's what I'm talking about! I'm so stoked you're here, Cheese Sandwich!
Applejack: Yeah. You sure did come on the right day.
Rarity: [sighs] Your party sounds simply divine.
Twilight Sparkle: We're so lucky to have you here.
Cheese Sandwich: Just doing my job, little fillies.
Rainbow Dash: I mean, Pinkie Pie's parties are fun and sweet and all, but now this party's gonna be--
Cheese Sandwich: Epic?
Rainbow Dash: You said it! Oh, yeah!
Cheese Sandwich: Feels gouda!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, heh, no offense, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Uh, n-none taken. [squee]
Rainbow Dash: My birth-iversary's already looking way cooler! You are my kind of party pony, Cheese Sandwich.
Cheese Sandwich: [chuckles] You got that right, Rainbow Dash. All right, party ponies, I've got some planning to do!
[cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! Aren't you gonna help Cheese Sandwich plan the party?
Pinkie Pie: That's okay. [chuckles nervously] He obviously has what it takes to do it all by himself. Heh.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, indeedy! [chuckles nervously] After all, if Cheese really is the super duperiest partying-est pony of them all, maybe that means... I'm... not.
[Pinkie Pie]
For all my life, all I've wanted to do
Was make my friends want to smile true
But maybe I was wrong
And Pinkie Pie shouldn't plan parties at all
I'll try to get up on my hooves
And try a different task
I'll find something new to do
There's gotta be more to me than planning a party or two
I put away my party cannon, I deflated all my balloons
The bubbles all burst, now what is next for you?
For you...
Oh, I remember this one: my first party ever. My whole family was there. And that's Twilight's welcome-to-Ponyville party. She didn't even expect that one. [giggles] Oh, look at Gummy! He just looks so excited for this birthday party! Hmm. Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding sure was special, especially once I got a hold of the music.
Oh, look at those happy faces
All the parties that I had thrown
I made them laugh, had such a blast
A smile that's all their own
They loved seeing me, the real Pinkie
Show them the time of their life like they've never known
Like they've never kno-o-own
I've got to get back out there, have to show them that I've tried
For there's only one great party pony -- that is Pinkie Pie
Won't let Cheese Sandwich beat me, won't let him get me down
For I am Pinkie, the bestest party pony around!
Rarity: I must say I marvel at your superior party planning expertise, Cheese Sandwich. [giggles]
Applejack: Well, they don't call him the super duper party planner for nothin'.
Pinkie Pie: That's it! This pony has gotta get her title back! And I know just what to do!
Rainbow Dash: Totally awesome!
Applejack: Huh. Best I've ever seen.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it!
[ponies awing]
Pinkie Pie: Freeze, Cheese! I challenge you... to a goof off!
[ponies gasp]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Not a goof off!
Applejack: [whispering] What's a goof off?
Fluttershy: I have no idea, hehe.
Cheese Sandwich: This Cheese has stood alone a long time, Pinkie Pie. You think you can out-goof me?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I don't think so. I know so! And the stakes are high, Cheese Sandwich. Whoever wins will be dubbed the ultimate super duper party pony and headline the Rainbow Dash birth-iversary bash!
Twilight Sparkle: And the loser?
Pinkie Pie: Doesn't!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: So, are you in, Cheese? Or are you... boneless?
Cheese Sandwich: Nopony calls me boneless. Right, Boneless?
Pinkie Pie: Then the goof off is on for high noon!
Twilight Sparkle: Um, Pinkie? It's already 3 o'clock.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Oh, well then. Make it 3:10 to goof off!
[eagle screeches]
[clock ticks]
[spurs jangling]
[squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: [blows party horn]
Twilight Sparkle: All right, everypony. According to my official goof off rulebook...
Rainbow Dash: She actually has a goof off rulebook?
Spike: Are you kidding? Twilight can find a rulebook for everything!
Matilda: Shhh.
Twilight Sparkle: The two competitors have free range to goof about -- be it by singing, dancing, playing, prancing, joking, or performing -- to make the judge chortle, chuckle, giggle, guffaw, hoot and holler, whoop it up, and party down.
[tuba sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: The funnier, sillier, wilder, and goofier, the better. Rainbow Dash, since the winner will be headlining your party, you are the judge.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Big tense competition on my birth-iversary. What could be better?
Twilight Sparkle: Cheese Sandwich, Pinkie Pie, are you ready?
Pinkie Pie: I was born ready!
Cheese Sandwich: I was ready before I was born!
Twilight Sparkle: Then... Let the goofing begin!
[bouncing, squeaking]
[Pinkie Pie]
It's your birthday party, a very special day
I've got a song, it won't take long, I just wanted to say
Happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to you!
[Cheese Sandwich]
If you wanna be the life of the party
But you're feeling just a little uptight
Call the doctor, beg and plead
"Doctor, tell me what I need"
Try to put a little cheese in your knees!
[Pinkie Pie]
Bubbles and balloons, bubbles and balloons
What's a birthday party without bubbles and balloons?
Star-shaped or trapezoid, look what I can do
Only Pinkie Pie can make a bubble shaped like you!
[Cheese Sandwich]
Just let yourself go floppy, for now this is your chance
Pretend you have no bones and do the rubber chicken dance!
Hit it, Boneless!
[Pinkie Pie]
Cooler than a rubber chicken and tastier than cake
Come on, you, let's party down and do the Gummy shake!
Hit it, Gummy! Uh-huh! You know it! Shake it!
[Cheese Sandwich]
'Cause I like to make you smile, smile, smile
Yes I do
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while
Yes it does
'Cause all I really need's a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of mine
Pinkie Pie: That's my song!
Cheese Sandwich: What do you mean? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Pinkie Pie: THAT'S IT!
[Pinkie Pie]
Roll out the party cannon
When you hear the party cannon song
Ka-BOOM!
[Cheese Sandwich]
Why should you compromise? Try this one on for size
'Cause nothing quite says cheer like the ringing in your ear
Of the cheese supreme cannonball surprise!
[Pinkie Pie]
¡Dale, dale, dale
No pierdas el tino!
Porque si lo pierdes
¡Pierdes el camino!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Rainbow's not having the best party ever! I... I broke the Pinkie Party Promise! Stop! The goof off is off!
[ponies murmuring confused]
Rainbow Dash: But I haven't named a winner.
Pinkie Pie: You don't have to. I forfeit. Which means... Cheese Sandwich wins.
Cheese Sandwich: [laughs] [sighs] ...I do?
Pinkie Pie: Yes. You get to headline Rainbow Dash's party.
Twilight Sparkle: But, what about you, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: I... [sniffles] I don't.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, wait! I'm sorry I got all swept away by Cheese Sandwich.
Twilight Sparkle: We all are.
Rest of main cast: [general agreement]
Spike: [sighs] Sorry, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: No. I'm sorry I let my pride get in the way of you having the best birth-iversary ever. Cheese Sandwich really is a super duper party planner, and he'll be a terrific headliner. I should've been a big enough pony to admit that and let you have your day.
Rainbow Dash: But don't you get it? You're both super duper party ponies. Sure, Cheese Sandwich is a great guest party pony, but you're Ponyville's permanent party pony. Nopony could ever take your place, and we could never have a party without you.
Cheese Sandwich: Rainbow Dash is right. I never meant to take your place in Ponyville. I just wanted to show you what a great party pony I am, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Why me?
Cheese Sandwich: Well...
[Cheese Sandwich]
I fear I told a little fib about my pony past
I hope that when you hear the truth, you will not be aghast
I wasn't quite the super party pony like I claimed
The fact is that I was so shy, nopony knew my name
I stumbled into Ponyville one afternoon by chance
And found the biggest ever celebration party dance
Everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place
And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face
I vowed that day to change my life, the past I did set free
For now Cheese Sandwich was a party pony full of glee
A super duper party pony -- that's what I became
I traveled all Equestria, and all did know my name
But that never would have happened on my own, I'll tell you why
For the one who threw that party, it was you, Pinkie Pie
Pinkie Pie: Me?
Cheese Sandwich: Yes!
Pinkie Pie: Hah, really?!
Cheese Sandwich: Really!
Pinkie Pie: So I was the pony that threw the awesomely spectacular party that inspired you to become an awesome spectacular party thrower?
Cheese Sandwich: Swear on Camembert!
[music warps down]
Rainbow Dash: Enough with the warm fuzzy stuff, you two. It's my birth-iversary, and you gotta throw me a bash!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah!
Cheese Sandwich: Let's go!
[Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich]
Super duper party ponies -- that is me and you
A party thrown by one is good, but not as great as two
Come on and let's join forces, have twice the expertise
Now let's all go to the party planned by Pinkie Pie and Cheese!
[dance music, rattling, cheering, splash, explosion with kazoos]
Cheese Sandwich: All right, everypony! We are here to celebrate the birthday...
Pinkie Pie: ...and anniversary...
Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich: ...of Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, everypony! Who's ready to get their party on?! Hit it!
[Pinkie Pie]
Get your hooves up, party's starting out right now
Everypony, everypony get down
Time to make a wish, better make it right now
It's been a year and today is your birthday party
Make a wish, it's your birthday
Make a wish, it's your birthday party
Make a wish, it's your birthday
Make a wish, it's your birthday party
Rainbow Dash: Cheese Sandwich! Oh, I gotta tell ya, you and Pinkie have totally made this the best birthday/anniversary super combo ever! Hah, it's totally--
Cheese Sandwich: Epic?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it is!
Cheese Sandwich: That's all I needed to hear, little filly. Just a little memento of my visit.
Pinkie Pie: You're giving me your special rubber chicken friend?
Cheese Sandwich: Oh, he's not the only one. Well, Boneless Two, another job well done. But it's time we mosey along. Another town, another party.
Pinkie Pie: I never did get that pony's name.
Rest of main cast: Cheese Sandwich!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Oh, yeah!
[Instrumental version of The Goof Off plays over credits]

Simple Ways

Rainbow Dash: Wow! I can't believe how many ponies showed up!
Pinkie Pie: I can! I mean, finding out who the Ponyville Days pony of ceremonies is is a pretty big deal!
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't know Granny Smith was on the selection committee.
Applejack: Of course she is. Ponyville Days celebrates the founding of Ponyville, and she was right there.
Pinkie Pie: I'm glad the committee didn't automatically pick me so everypony gets a chance to see how great being me actually is! Even though the festival's basically a party and the pony of ceremonies gets to organize the whole thing! So it'd totally make sense if they did pick me.
Ponies: Shhh!
[microphone feedback]
Mayor Mare: Citizens of Ponyville, this year's applicants were all exceptional, but there can only be one Ponyville Days pony of ceremonies. And that pony is...
Pinkie Pie: [long inhalation]
Mayor Mare: Rarity!
Ponies: [cheering]
Applejack: Whoo-ee! All right, Rarity!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Whoo-oo-oo! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Rarity! Do you know what you're gonna do?
Spike: [straining noises]
Rarity: Oh, I might have a few ideas.
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: I'm so excited for the festival, I can hardly stand up straight!
Twilight Sparkle: Me too. I'm glad Rarity was picked. I know she'll add a touch of elegance to the whole thing!
Applejack: Probably more than a touch!
[lights buzzing on]
[cranking]
Spike: [clears throat] [reading] This year's Ponyville Days festival, designed by Rarity, will feature various high-class events such as... a silent cider auction and tasting.
Main cast sans Rarity: Ooooh!
Spike: A Ponyville gala in town square.
Main cast sans Rarity: Ahhhh!
Spike: And, of course, a Ponyville fashion show.
Main cast sans Rarity: Ooooh!
Spike: This year's Ponyville Days festival pony of ceremonies creates shimmering couture of her own design.
Rarity: And the theme is... "Small Town Chic"!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rarity. You really have put a lot of effort into this.
Applejack: I'll say.
Fluttershy: Oh, I think it's going to be magical.
Rarity: [gasps] Do you really think so?
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding? I can't wait!
Rarity: Oh, that's such a relief. But of course, I couldn't possibly do it all on my own. The festival is in three days!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie and I can hang lights and decorations in the town square!
Applejack: And I can get Sweet Apple Acres all ready for the cider tastin'.
Rarity: Oh, that's just perfect! And now, Twilight, if you and Fluttershy wouldn't mind helping with the fashion show...
Twilight Sparkle: Of course!
Fluttershy: I'd be honored.
Rarity: I can focus on the thing I'm worried about most of all.
Main cast sans Rarity: What?
Rarity: Creating a Ponyville Days festival fantastic enough to impress... Trenderhoof!
[beat]
Applejack: Uh, who's Trenderhoof?
Rarity: What?! How can you not know who Trenderhoof is? Trenderhoof is only the most amazing, handsomest travel writer to have ever traveled or written! Before Las Pegasus became an Equestria travel destination, he wrote about it! Before the culinary revolution in Trottingham, he discovered it! He knows what's going to be hot even before it's tepid! [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like somepony has a little bit of a crush.
Rarity: Oh, Twilight, "crush" doesn't even begin to describe it. He's practically divine. I can't believe he's coming! [tittering]
[train engine noises]
Rarity: Thank you ever so much for joining me, Twilight. I don't think I could have met Trenderhoof on my own!
Twilight Sparkle: It's no problem, but you shouldn't be nervous about meeting him.
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: Is that him? Is he here? Twilight, is he there?
Twilight Sparkle: Uhh... I'm not sure.
Rarity: You don't suppose he's decided not to come? Twilight, I don't see him! What if he doesn't arrive? The whole festival will be a disaster! Twilight, where is he?!
[beat]
Rarity: [clears throat] Sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you have to get a hold of yourself. I mean, you haven't even met him yet!
[bubbles popping]
Rarity: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong?
Rarity: Shh! [hushed, quickly] It's him, it's him, is it him? Is it him? It's him, he's here, he's here!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, go up and talk to him!
Rarity: [unintelligible screeching] I can't! [nervous laughing] Uh, hi– [clears throat] Hello, Mr. Trenderhoof. I am Rarity, and I have been chosen as pony of ceremonies for the Ponyville Days festival. [nervous laughing]
Trenderhoof: Please, call me 'Trend'.
[thud]
Rarity: And over here will be the climax of the festival, the Ponyville Days gala! Music, dancing! [laughs nervously] And of course a locally sourced menu of delicious treats.
Trenderhoof: Reminds me of the "Spring Fling meets Manehattan Wedding" I wrote about in Gallop & Prance.
Rarity: Exactly! I, I can't even describe how much your work has influenced me!
Rarity: And finally, Sweet Apple Acres. Ponyville's core, heh-heh, so to speak, where our quaint little hamlet began.
Trenderhoof: Oh, breathtaking! I've heard about it of course, but to see it in vérité, to stand on the soil of a working farm... You can really feel the authenticity.
Rarity: Oh, yes, uh, they, they really do grow apples here.
Trenderhoof: Thank you, Rarity. Thank you for bringing me here. This farm is truly something special.
Rarity: Oh, I had planned to transform it into an elegant country inn for the festival... but now I see just how special it is au naturel.
Trenderhoof: Au naturel indeed.
[bubbles popping]
Trenderhoof: Who... is... that?
Applejack: [panting]
Rarity: Who? Applejack? Ahem! Why are you staring at her like that?
Trenderhoof: I've seen a lot in my travels, but I've never beheld such beauty. Applejack... The pony of my dreams...
Spike: Rarity? Rarity! Hello?
Rarity: [muffled sobbing]
Spike: I brought my cider-tasting cup. Are you ready to go try the samples?
Rarity: [sobbing throughout] What's the point?!
Spike: Rarity, what's wrong?
Rarity: Nothing!
Spike: Is it something I said?
Rarity: He doesn't like me.
Spike: What?
Rarity: He doesn't like me.
Spike: Rarity, I can't hear what you're—
Rarity: He doesn't like me because he has a crush on Applejack, even though I've had a crush on him ever since the beginning of time, and it's not fair!
Spike: Trenderhoof doesn't like you? That's ridiculous!
Rarity: Oh, Spike, how could you ever know what it's like to be totally obsessed with a pony only to find out they're obsessed with somepony else?
[beat]
Rarity: I mean, what could Applejack possibly have that I don't?!
Spike: I 'unno.
Rarity: Hmm...
Trenderhoof: You know, I have such respect for the work ethic of Earth ponies.
Applejack: Uh, gee, thanks. Granny Smith always said, "Pick an apple a day and keep trouble away."
Trenderhoof: How many varieties of apples do you think there are?
Applejack: Uh, on the farm or in all of Equestria? 'Cause—
Trenderhoof: I once had an apple so rare, they thought it was extinct. I ate four of them. [bites]
[splash]
Applejack: Is that a fact?
Trenderhoof: That's my thing. I take the mundane, the simple, the unappreciated, and I make it relatable.
Applejack: Well, I hope you can relate to Ponyville.
Trenderhoof: Me too. But enough about me. I wanna know about you! What do apples mean to Applejack?
Applejack: Look, I'm glad you're interested in Ponyville 'n' all, but I'm kinda busy with my chores. And if I can't get 'em done, there won't be a Ponyville Days festival for you to write about.
Rarity: Well, that will never do!
Applejack: Rarity, what are you wearin'?
Rarity: What, this old thing?
Applejack: Aren't you too busy plannin' the festival to keep makin' new outfits for it?
Rarity: I am. But the thought of hauling apples inspired me, and I just couldn't stop myself!
Applejack: Really?
Rarity: If there's one thing I love, it's hauling apples!
Trenderhoof: [dreamily] I'm growing fond of it myself.
Applejack: [under her breath] Maybe you two should try it sometime.
Trenderhoof: I'm feeling a tad inspired.
Without farm life, there'd be such disparity
These thoughts I think with great clarity
Apples high to the sky
She's the one of my eye
That fruit-hauling pony named... Applejack!
Rarity: [mule bray]
[bubble shattering]
Spike: Rarity, why do you want to plow a field?
Rarity: Is it me, or could this use a splash of color? And maybe a wash!
Spike: Don't we need to check on the gala decorations?
Rarity: Yes, yes, of course, but Trend obviously has a thing for farm life. If I can't convince him that I'm just as much of a farm hoof as Applejack, I'll never get him interested in the festival.
Spike: The festival. Right.
Rarity: And I do appreciate your help ever so much. I couldn't do a thing without you, Spikey-poo.
Spike: Well, that's what friends are for!
Rarity: Right, so. [whips reins] Come on! [grunts] Farm... thing! [sighs] Oh, how does Applejack do it?
Applejack: Well, it would help if the harness was on right! What are you doin'?
Rarity: I am simply lending a hoof with the chores, which I love doing ever so much.
Applejack: Well if you're still interested after the festival I can teach you all about it. But right now, I need to get the plowin' done, if you don't mind.
Rarity: Not at all. Ugh! Oh!
Spike: She makes it look so easy.
Trenderhoof: [dreamily] I know. Isn't she fantastic?
Applejack: [grunts]
Trenderhoof: [clapping]
Rarity: I really don't see what the fuss is all about.
[tapping]
Applejack: Now, Rarity, you be careful. If you don't get the buckin' just right, you could sprain a hoof.
Rarity: I am perfectly familiar with the apple-bucking process, thank you very much. But while you seem to rely on raw power, I believe a certain amount of style is required. It's really more of a dance, if you ask me. [happy 'hm'ing noises] Et voilà!
Applejack: Well, your way is definitely long on style.
Rarity: Thank you.
Applejack: Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have some more chores to do. Inside!
[chickens clucking]
Trenderhoof: Rarity, can I ask you something?
Rarity: Oh, why, Trend, you can ask me anything.
Trenderhoof: I've been meaning to ask for a while, and frankly I'm sort of embarrassed. Rarity... do you think... Applejack would be my date for the festival?
Rarity: Why don't you go ask her yourself?! Hmph!
[chickens clucking]
[door slamming]
Applejack: Whew! Well, that was close.
Rarity: If you've come to apologize, there's really no need.
Applejack: What are you talkin' about?
Rarity: Let's dispense with the charade, shall we?
Applejack: Listen, I know you really want Trend to like you—
Rarity: And he does! Despite somepony's best efforts!
Applejack: I swear I don't know why he's payin' so much attention to me. And I don't know anypony who's that interested in farmin'. Not even me!
Rarity: Well, maybe it's time Trend met a real country pony.
Applejack: Shouldn't you be workin' on the festival instead of comin' up with new ways to impress Trend?
Rarity: Oh, I'm sure you'd love that. Well, I have a new vision for the festival, [in country accent] and it's gonna be more country than the whole Apple family put together!
Fluttershy: Um, isn't it a little late to be changing the theme?
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, what's going on?
Applejack: I'm too scared to guess.
[lights buzz]
Rarity: [country accent] Firstly, I just want to thank you all for comin', and second, I know y'all will all adore my new festival theme!
Spike: [playing banjo]
Rarity: [country accent] "Simple Ways"!
Applejack: [laughing]
Rarity: [country accent throughout] Well? What's so funny?
Applejack: Rarity, that is the silliest getup I have ever seen!
Fluttershy: It is a little funny.
Rarity: Fun-nay?
Twilight Sparkle: [laughing] Rarity, you aren't serious, are you?
Rarity: [normal voice] Well of course I'm serious– [clears throat] [back in country accent] Why wouldn't I be?
Applejack: Because you would never dress like that. You like fashion and high society and fancy things.
Rarity: And I can like plowin' fields and haulin' apples just as much.
Applejack: But you don't!
Rarity: How do you know what I like?
Applejack: Because I know you.
Rarity: Wail, maybe you don't know me as well as you thank.
Applejack: And I suppose it's just a coincidence that Trenderhoof seemed so interested in country life, too?
Rarity: I don't know what you're gittin' at!
Applejack: Well then, I guess I'll just have to show you!
Rarity: Be my guest! Now, if you all will excuse me, I have a hootenanny of a festival to put on.
Applejack: [growls]
Rarity: [country accent throughout] Now, to be a model in the Simple Ways fashion show, you might think "simple" means "less is more". Well, that just ain't so. If you want to be real simple, more is more. Now, y'all go off and make yourselves look just like that. [to Spike] Who's our next model for the fashion show?
Spike: Um... Apple... Jewel?
Rarity: Who the hay is that?
[tango music]
Rarity: Is this some kind of joke?
Applejack: [upper-class accent throughout] Why, Rarity, whatever would make you think I was joking?
Rarity: [normal voice] Because you would never wear an ensemble like that. You like plowing fields and hauling apples—
Applejack: And I can like fashion just as much.
Rarity: [back in country accent] But you don't!
Applejack: Well, maybe you do not know me as well as you think.
Rarity: Fine. But I got a whole festival to plan, so if you're goin' to start modelin', just get on with it!
Applejack: Life is a festival, and you should celebrate it by looking just like me! Because I'm a trend-setting fashionista!
[camera snapping]
Rarity: [normal voice] You're a trend-setting fashionista?! Why, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever– I mean... [back in country accent] Good for you. I, on the other hoof, couldn't care less how I look, long as I get the chores done. [mule bray]
Applejack: Oh, is that so?
Rarity: Yes, indeedy-doodle!
Applejack: [gasp] Not me! My mane needs to be perfectly coiffed at all times.
Rarity: Well, my mane is full of dust and split ends.
Applejack: My hooves are so polished, you can see your reflection in them.
Rarity: My hooves are cracked and dry from working in the fields!
Applejack: I'm so fashion-forward.
Rarity: I wear droopy drawers!
Applejack: I smell like rosebuds.
Rarity: I love being covered in mud!
[splash]
[splat]
Rarity: [normal voice] Goodness! Your couture! Ooh, it's bad. Will somepony bring me a towel to wipe this repulsive filth from my hooves?!
Applejack: [normal voice] There's the Rarity I know!
Rarity: Oh, Applejack, I'm sorry I said all those things. You're a true friend who probably knows me better than I know myself. I don't know what I was thinking wearing this ridiculous outfit.
Applejack: I kinda know how you feel.
Rarity: Oh, but you were just trying to help me see how silly I was being. And you were right. [sighs] Besides, that gown looks just gorgeous on you. I wish I hadn't ruined it.
Applejack: Thanks! It's nice, ain't it?
Rarity: It's magnificent! Wherever did you get it?
Applejack: Oh, it's, uh, one of yours.
Rarity: I'll need three gallons of boiling water and one ounce of detergent, stat!
Trenderhoof: [clears throat] I'm moving to Ponyville! Being the most interesting pony in Equestria is exhausting. I want to leave my exotic, exciting life behind and live on a farm!
Applejack and Rarity: What?!
Applejack: Well, that's real nice, but I sure hope you weren't thinkin' of Sweet Apple Acres.
Trenderhoof: Oh.
Applejack: Uh, look, you're a fine pony, but, uh, well, I'm, uh...
Rarity: I think what Applejack is trying to say is that there's something unappealing about a pony who'd change themselves so much just to impress somepony else. If somepony doesn't like you for who you are, it's their loss.
Trenderhoof: Well, this is awkward.
Rarity: Not at all. In fact, I think I know just how you feel.
Applejack: What do you think, Rarity? Is it too late to go back to "Small Town Chic"?
Rarity: Not if I can help it!
[ponies talking in background]
Rarity: Organizing the Ponyville Day celebration was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I learned an important lesson. Real friends will like you for who you are, and changing yourself to impress them is no way to make new ones. And when you're as fabulous as I am, it's practically a crime!
[credits]

Filli Vanilli


[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh, good morning, little friends. Your singing is oh-so pretty.
[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Yes, it is a very beautiful day today. Certainly something worth singing about.
There's music in the treetops
And there's music in the vale
And all around the music fills the sky
There's music by the river
And there's music in the grass
And the music makes your heart soar in reply
[vocalizing]
Animals: [cheering]
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you so much. [giggles] You're too kind.
Pinkie Pie: Wow!
Fluttershy: Oh... You... um... you didn't hear me... um...
Pinkie Pie: Singing in the most beautiful voice ever?!?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, yeah, we did!
Fluttershy: [gasp, whimper]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, I've never heard you sing a solo like that before!
Applejack: It was like a little slice of heaven.
Pinkie Pie: With ice cream on top!
Rarity: Fluttershy, I cannot believe your spectacular voice isn't part of the Pony Tones quartet!
Fluttershy: Um, well, I—
Rarity: Especially since you're having us perform for your Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser tomorrow night!
Fluttershy: Well, you see, I—
Rarity: This simply must be rectified. You must share that stunning voice at the event!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! It'll be so amazing! You'll be there on stage, basking in the hooflights! The center of attention! A shining star! Everypony staring at you, judging you, jealously noting how they could be way better than you! Why wasn't it them? Why wasn't it them? And then, when you choke, they'll turn on you, becoming a seething, angry mob, and you'll be horribly humiliated, never able to show your face in Ponyville again!
Rarity: Pinkie Pie!
[thwack]
Rarity: Don't be ridiculous!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, but I'm so good at it!
Rarity: [sighs] Come, Fluttershy, you will join the group, making the Pony Tones quartet the Pony Tones quintet!
Fluttershy: No.
Rarity: Pardon me?
Fluttershy: I love the Pony Tones, I'm one of their biggest fans, but I do not want to perform with them.
Twilight Sparkle: Why not, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, you see... I... I have... um... I... I have...
Rainbow Dash: Spit it out!
Fluttershy: I have... stage fright.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Is it contagious?!
Twilight Sparkle: Stage fright isn't a disease, Pinkie. It just means that Fluttershy is scared to perform in front of everypony.
Fluttershy: I'm very thankful the Pony Tones are singing at the Pet Center fundraiser, and I'm really looking forward to the performance, but I'll be watching safely from the audience.
Rarity: [sighs] Well... I think it's a terrible waste of an exquisite talent, but I understand that you're not comfortable.
Fluttershy: Thank you. Oh! Angel's right. We'd better get going. There's a lot of work to do before tomorrow's event.
Rarity: [clears throat] Alright, Pony Tones, let's run through that again! [blows pitch pipe]
[Big McIntosh]
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da, ba-da
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da ah
[The Pony Tones]
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da, ba-da (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da ah (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
[Big McIntosh]
Everypony's sayin' you should learn to express your voice
But if talk doesn't seem like it's the answer
[The Pony Tones]
Luckily you have a choice
When you find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you (Rarity: Oh, you)
Find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you
Fluttershy: [sighs]
Spike: Woo-hoo, yeah! Rarity, you were awesome!
Rarity: Uh, thank you, Spike, but this is an ensemble.
Spike: Eh, the rest of you were pretty good too.
Fluttershy: Oh, I thought you were all amazing, Pony Tones!
Torch Song: Thanks, Fluttershy!
Rarity: Now, Pony Tones, I want you all to rest your voices for the remainder of the day. We'll do a final run-through tomorrow before the big event, alright?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Torch Song: Sounds great!
Fluttershy: Oh, Rarity, the Pony Tones are really gonna make the Ponyville Pet Center fundraiser so special. Thank you so much for helping me help the animals.
Rarity: Oh, yes. It is wonderful when a plan comes together without any sort of drama, isn't it?
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. [giggles]
[owl hoots]
[rooster crows]
[animals making various noises]
Torch Song: Morning, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Good morning, Pony Tones!
Rarity: Actually, we're the Pony Tones minus one tone. Big Mac is inconveniently late.
Big McIntosh: [wheezing and snorting]
Rarity: Well, there you are! Haven't I told you about punctuality? Nah-ah! I don't want to hear it! [blows pitch pipe]
Big McIntosh: [gulps]
Rarity: Big Mac? Can you please start the song?
Big McIntosh: [croaking] Nope.
Rarity: Big Mac! Did you lose your voice?
Big McIntosh: [gulps] [croaking] Eeyup.
The Ponytones: [gasps]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rarity: Whatever did you do to cause this?
Big McIntosh: [croaking] Well...
Applejack: [through microphone] Howdy, everypony, and welcome to the twelfth annual Ponyville turkey call!
[ponies cheering]
[turkey gobbles]
Applejack: Who will take the title this year? Will it be somepony new? Or will the turkey call champion of six years defend his title to make it lucky number seven?
Granny Smith: We'll find out if you stop your gabbin' and get on with the gobblin'!
Applejack: Alright, everypony! Let's talk turkey! Big Mac, you're up!
Big McIntosh: [inhales]
Rarity: A...a...a turkey call? You lost your voice doing a... a turkey call?!
Pinkie Pie: Lost his voice and the title! [gobbles]
Rarity: Now we can't perform tonight!
Fluttershy: Wait, what? No! You have to perform! Otherwise, the fundraiser will be a disaster!
Rarity: Well, we cannot perform tonight with only three voices.
Fluttershy: Why not?
Rarity: It would take rearranging all the music, and we just don't have time. I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I have no remedy for this situation.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Of course! A remedy! Follow me!
Zecora: Hmmm.
Big McIntosh: [croaking] Ahhhh.
Zecora: Hmmm.
Big McIntosh: [croaking] Ahhh—
Zecora: I can cure this pony that is hoarse, but it will take a longer course.
Rarity: Uh, come again?
Zecora: Mm. I can mix a brew that can work just right, but it cannot heal him by tonight.
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Ah! Where are we ever going to find a deep voice to replace Big Mac's?
Zecora: [chuckles]
Rarity: Pardon me, Zecora, but this is no laughing matter! We need a bass voice for the harmonies to work! Without it, the performance will be ruined!
Zecora: Please, forgive my strange elation, but I was not laughing at your situation.
Rarity: Then what?
Zecora: Remember when you pony folk stumbled into poison joke? Miss Fluttershy had an unusual change, deepening her vocal range.
Fluttershy: [from Bridle Gossip, deep male voice] I don't want to talk about it.
Rarity: Yes, yes! Your voice became really low, making it sound like...
Fluttershy: [gasps] Flutterguy!
Zecora: With these leaves I can mix a brew, creating the same effect on you.
Rarity: Zecora, that's fantastic!
Fluttershy: Yes! I'll do it! I'd do anything for the animals!
Rarity: Why, you'd even appear on stage!
Fluttershy: Oh. Except that. I just can't bring myself to sing on stage in front of everypony.
Rarity: What if you sang not in front of everypony?
Fluttershy: Huh?
Rarity: What if Big Mac was onstage, moving his lips while you're behind the curtains singing his part? It would be just like singing in your house! Nopony would know it was you!
Fluttershy: Even still, I just don't think I could sing in front of...
Rarity: You must! For the animals!
Angel: [squeaking]
Fluttershy: Oh... Okay then... [gulps] Mix it up!
Rarity: [hushed] Now, do it just like we practiced!
Fluttershy: [inhales]
Crowd: [excited chatter]
Rarity: Good evening, citizens of Ponyville! I want to thank you all for coming out tonight and generously supporting the Ponyville Pet Center! Thanks to your kindness, pets are finding loving homes, and we're sure to meet our fundraising goal!
Twilight Sparkle: Where's Fluttershy?
Applejack: Probably hidin'. You know how much that pony hates the spotlight.
Rarity: So, with no further ado, please welcome the Pony Tones!
Crowd: [cheering]
Rarity: [blows pitch pipe]
Fluttershy: [inhales]
Big McIntosh: [croaking] [inhales]
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da, ba-da
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da ah
[The Pony Tones]
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da, ba-da (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da ah (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da, ba-da (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
Bum, bum, bum-ba-da ah (Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah)
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Trot outside and you see the sunshine
Something's in the air today
Sky is clear and you're feelin' so fine
Everything's gonna be a-okay
[Toe-Tapper and Torch Song]
If you listen carefully
On every corner there's a rhythm playing
[Toe-Tapper and Rarity]
Then it happens suddenly
The music takes you over and you'll
[The Pony Tones]
Find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you (Rarity: Oh, you)
Find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Oh, o-o-oh
Everypony's sayin' you should learn to express your voice
But if talk doesn't seem like it's the answer
[The Pony Tones]
Luckily you have a choice
When you find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you (Rarity: Oh, you)
Find you've got the music (Rarity: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind the music)
Got the music in you
Got the music, got the music in you!
Crowd: [cheering] Pony Tones! Pony Tones!
Twilight Sparkle: Pony Tones! That was truly amazing!
Applejack: And you sounded better than ever, big brother!
Big McIntosh: [chuckles]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy, you were on the wrong side of the curtain! You totally missed the show!
Rarity: Uh, just like a true professional, Fluttershy was backstage making sure everything ran smoothly! [hushed, to Fluttershy] And it was perfect.
Nightjar: That was fantastic, Pony Tones!
Zipporwhill: My new puppy and I thought it was super-duper crazy good!
Rarity: Why, thank you!
Nightjar: And we were wondering if you would consider performing at my daughter Zipporwhill's cute-ceañera.
Zipporwhill: Will you? Will you?
Rarity: We'd love to! When is it? Next week? Next month?
Nightjar and Zipporwhill: Tomorrow!
Rarity: Oh, gracious, I'm terribly sorry, but that's much too last minute.
Zipporwhill: Oh, no...
Nightjar: Well... I understand.
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] Oh, Rarity, we can't disappoint that sweet little filly.
Rarity: [hushed] Are you sure you're up for it?
[The Pony Tones]
When you find you've got the music
Got the music in you
Find you've got the music
Got the music in you
Got the music, got the music in you!
Foals: [cheering]
Zipporwhill: Whoo, yeah, alright! We got the Pony Tones, we got the Pony Tones!
Mayor Mare: Amazing, Pony Tones! And it would be even more amazing if you could perform at my ribbon-cutting ceremony tomorrow!
Rarity: Oh, Mayor, we would love to, but... [clears throat] Would you excuse us for a second, Mayor?
Mayor Mare: Certainly.
Rarity: [hushed] Don't worry, Fluttershy, you don't have to perform again.
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] But we wouldn't want to disappoint the Mayor.
Rarity: Well, then... Mayor? The Pony Tones will happily perform at your ceremony!
[The Pony Tones]
[harmonizing]
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Trot outside and see the sunshine
Something's in the air today
Sky is clear and you're feelin' so fine
Everything's gonna be a-okay
[The Pony Tones]
[harmonizing]
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] We wouldn't want to disappoint the spa patrons.
[The Pony Tones]
If you listen carefully
On every corner there's a rhythm playing
Then it happens suddenly
The music takes you over and you'll
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] We wouldn't want to disappoint the schoolponies.
[The Pony Tones]
Find you've got the music
Find it in your heart, you can
Find it, oh yeah
Got the music in you now
Got the music, got the music in you!
Foals: [cheering]
Rarity: Fluttershy, we must talk to you. Big Mac's voice is all better!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Rarity: Now you can bathe in the poison joke antidote and sound like your lovely self again.
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] It's just... I didn't know that last performance was my last performance.
Rarity: Fluttershy, stop! Ohhh... [to Big McIntosh] Would it be okay if Fluttershy sang for you one last time?
Big McIntosh: Hmm. Eeyup.
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Hey, find it, oh why, you can find it
In your heart, yeah, find the music, yeah
It's in you right now! Oh, yeah!
You can find the music!
[crash, music fades]
[Fluttershy (male voice)]
Yeah, yeah, I love the music, ye—
Rest of main cast: Fluttershy?!
Crowd: [cheering]
[cheering fades into eerie laughing]
Fluttershy: [deep male voice] [starts crying]
Applejack: Big Mac, you got some 'splainin' to do! [beat] Turkey call?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Trash your voice?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Zecora remedy?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Not quick enough?
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Applejack: Needed a deep voice?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Poison joke?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Flutterguy?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Better now?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: And that shy filly was livin' her dream in the shadows because she couldn't bring herself to come into the spotlight?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Well, for corn's sake! Let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy? You in here?
Fluttershy: [normal voice] Yes... I'm here.
Pinkie Pie: That was totally unbelievable! I mean, the curtain came up and there you were, singing in front of everypony! And you know, I don't think anypony was jealous, 'cause there certainly wasn't an angry mob! But it must have been horrible standing there on stage, all eyes glued directly on you! It's like you were living your own personal worst nightmare!
Fluttershy: [crying] It was.
Pinkie Pie: What? Too much?
Fluttershy: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: What Pinkie meant to say is that you were really great!
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Didn't I say that?
Rarity: Hardly!
Pinkie Pie: Whoops. You were great!
Fluttershy: [out of breath crying]
Rainbow Dash: You totally blew my mind!
Applejack: Incredible!
Pinkie Pie: Though, no offense... you kind of sounded like a dude.
Fluttershy: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, a great-sounding dude!
Fluttershy: Well, thank you all. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Because I'm never going to sing in front of anypony ever again.
Rest of main cast: [gasps] [exclamations]
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding me?!
Rarity: Can we please stop running?
Fluttershy: [panting]
Rarity: I just don't understand why, Fluttershy. After all, you're the one that wanted the Pony Tones to sing for every silly thing that was requested of us.
Fluttershy: You mean, you knew I really wanted to perform?
Rarity: Of course I knew!
Fluttershy: Oh...
Rarity: And, for all her babbling, Pinkie Pie was right about one thing.
Pinkie Pie: Only one?!
Rarity: When that curtain fell, and everypony saw you singing, you lived your worst nightmare! Was it really that bad?
Fluttershy: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, what was so bad about it?
Rainbow Dash: The thunderous applause?
Applejack: The praise for your fantastic singin'?
Pinkie Pie: The screaming fans?!


[Fluttershy]
There's music in the treetops
And there's music in the vale
And all around the music fills the sky
There's music by the river
And there's music in the grass
And the music makes your heart soar in reply
[The Pony Tones]
When you find you've got the music
[Fluttershy]
You've got to look inside and find
[The Pony Tones]
Find you've got the music
[Fluttershy]
The music deep inside you
[The Pony Tones]
Find you've got the music
[Fluttershy]
'Cause when you look inside, you'll see it
[The Pony Tones]
Find you've got the music
[Fluttershy]
You're gonna find it, gonna find
[The Pony Tones]
You've got the music
Got the music, got the music
Got the music in you!
Rest of main cast: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: You did it, Fluttershy!
Applejack: See? That wasn't so bad.
Pinkie Pie: And you didn't look completely petrified by the fact that we're all staring at you at all!
Twilight Sparkle: How do you feel?
Fluttershy: Surprisingly... okay!
Rarity: Fantastic, because the Pony Tones have been booked for the Apple Family Zap Apple Jam Extraordinaire!
Fluttershy: Oh, no... I couldn't do that!
Applejack: How come?
Rainbow Dash:
Seriously?
Pinkie Pie:
For real?
Twilight Sparkle:
Come on, Fluttershy...
Fluttershy: I'll get there someday. But for now... baby steps, everypony. Baby steps.
Fluttershy: Sometimes, being afraid can stop you from doing something that you love, but hiding behind these fears means you're only hiding from your true self. It's much better to face those fears so you can shine and be the best pony you can possibly be.
[credits]

Twilight Time

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Sweetie Belle, maybe we should run through the steps another few times before you try it on your own.
Sweetie Belle: Nope. Ready to give it a shot!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay then!
Sweetie Belle: [straining] Can't... seem... to...! [straining] [neck clicks] Ugh! Think I threw my neck out...
Scootaloo: Aw, you're okay.
Apple Bloom: A little more magic practice and liftin' brooms'll be a cinch!
Sweetie Belle: I doubt it. That thing weighs a ton.
[door opens]
Spike: Hey, has anypony seen my– Oh, there it is. [whistling]
Sweetie Belle: Hmph. I'll never get my cutie mark for this...
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe not. But I'm happy to keep helping you learn just for the fun of it as long as you like.
Spike: Hey, who's gonna clean up this mess?
Scootaloo: This is no mess! These are the carefully arranged pieces of a unicycle I took apart and will be putting back together... as soon as Twilight shows me how. [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Scootaloo, I already told you I won't show you how, but I'll help you find the instructions so you can figure it out yourself.
Scootaloo: Ugh, I hate research!
Twilight Sparkle: To your left, third shelf from the bottom. You'll find it in no time.
Apple Bloom: Thanks so much for helpin' us all learn these new skills, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Always glad to pass on my love of learning for learning's sake.
Apple Bloom: Only I'm afraid I'll never get the hang of this potion-makin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Did you follow the magic plant-growing formula I gave you?
Apple Bloom: Well... uh... more or less.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, let's try it out on this apple seedling and see how we do.
Apple Bloom: Oh... I hope this works.
[drip]
[poof]
Twilight Sparkle: [coughing]
Seedling: [coughing]
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Apple Bloom: Layin' it on a little thick there, aren't we, pal?
[theme song]
[ball bouncing]
Diamond Tiara: Yoo-hoo! Gather 'round! It's time!
Foals: [various intrigued noises]
Diamond Tiara: As you all know, I had promised to put on an amazing, first-time-ever acrobatic display for you all today!
Foals: [cheering]
Diamond Tiara: I know, it's so exciting. But I'm tired.
Foals: Awww...
Diamond Tiara: But I did not wish to disappoint you all, so I brought my butler Randolph to do them for me.
Foals: [cheering]
Silver Spoon: That was amazing, Diamond Tiara.
Diamond Tiara: I know. I don't know how I do it.
Apple Bloom: I can't believe she gets so much attention without even really doing anything!
Scootaloo: She's using somepony else to build herself up, and without even putting any effort to learn her own skills like we do!
Sweetie Belle: Hey, come to think of it, if we get really good at the stuff Twilight's teaching us, we could be the big shots around here for a change! Hmm...
Scootaloo: Check this out!
Apple Bloom: And check this out!
Foals: [awed comments]
Sweetie Belle: Now check this out!
Diamond Tiara: [yelping] Hey, put me down!
Foals: [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: [giggling]
Diamond Tiara: Hey, can you hear me?
Sweetie Belle: Huh? Huh? What? What?
Diamond Tiara: I was asking if your sister Rarity will be taking you to Manehattan anytime soon.
Silver Spoon: Because if she is, maybe you can meet up with us while we hang out with a bunch of famous celebrities.
Scootaloo: Cool!
Apple Bloom: Wow, that's... pretty nice of you guys.
Sweetie Belle: Actually, my sister hasn't offered to take me to Manehattan anytime soon.
Diamond Tiara: Yeah, we figured.
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Bump, bump, sugar lump rump! [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, yeah?! Well, I don't have to go all the way to Manehattan to hang out with the famous and super-cool ponies! Me and my friends hang out with Princess Twilight all the time!
Diamond Tiara: D-did you say Princess Twilight?! You hang out with her all the time? For real?
Apple Bloom: More like just once a week.
Scootaloo: She helps us learn cool new stuff to do! That we actually do ourselves!
Diamond Tiara: You must bring me along next time you go!
Silver Spoon: Bring us along!
Diamond Tiara: I mean, we used to see her around town all the time, and I thought, "whatever"...
Silver Spoon: Me too. I thought that.
Diamond Tiara: But now she's a princess, which makes her totally awesome!
Silver Spoon: Plus, she has wings.
Diamond Tiara: And she's an Alicorn. So can I–
Silver Spoon: We!
Diamond Tiara: –go?
Apple Bloom: I don't think we should–
Sweetie Belle: Would you two excuse us for a moment? We should totally say yes! This is a golden opportunity!
Apple Bloom: Are you kiddin'? I don't want them laughing at us while I'm mixin' potions and accidentally sendin' plants into chokin' fits!
Sweetie Belle: But don't you get it? They'll have to learn something too!
Scootaloo: And they won't be able to laugh at us when they're so busy trying to learn stuff of their own.
Apple Bloom: I must admit it's kinda fun to see them workin' hard to get on our good side for a change.
Diamond Tiara: Oh, my gosh! A princess lives in there! And I'm about to go inside and see her! I can't even tell you how excited I am!
Silver Spoon: I can't either!
[knocking]
Sweetie Belle: Now remember, Twilight takes this time out with us so we can learn stuff.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey there, guys! Come on in!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [squealing] Princess Twilight!
Diamond Tiara: Oh, it's really her!
Silver Spoon: Oh, my gosh, I don't believe it!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, and, uh, you brought guests. Great!
Diamond Tiara: Princess Twilight, it is such a thrill and honor to be here! You have no idea. Oh my gosh, who dyes your tail?
Silver Spoon: I so have to get that done.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, it's not dyed. I've always–
Diamond Tiara: [gasp] Are those books in there? What a bold design choice!
Silver Spoon: You should so do that, Di!
Diamond Tiara: I know, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Listen, I'm all for helping as many ponies as I can, but maybe we should keep these weekly visits just between us, hm? Okay, which one of you wants to practice first?
Sweetie Belle: Shouldn't they go first?
Twilight Sparkle: No, silly! I set up Twilight Time especially for you. Apple Bloom, go ahead. Let's see how your plant potions are coming.
Apple Bloom: I can't believe I let you talk us into bringin' guests yesterday.
Scootaloo: I didn't hear them laugh at us once, Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom: 'Cause they laughed on the inside.
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry. We won't make that same mistake again.
Apple Bloom: Aw, great. Look who showed up to make fun of us.
Scootaloo: So much for learning skills to be big shots.
Diamond Tiara: Hey, guess what! I told everyone about your special Twilight Time!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, no, here it comes...
Diamond Tiara: And they all want in!
Foals: Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! [continuing under]
Diamond Tiara: Thanks to me, you three are now the hottest thing around. You're welcome.
Sweetie Belle: Uh-oh...
Foals: Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! [continuing under]
Sweetie Belle: Wow! All these ponies really wanna meet Twilight that badly?
Pipsqueak: We love you, Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Foals: [cheering]
Diamond Tiara: Now, now, everypony! Demanding time with the princess as an unruly mob simply won't do. Might I suggest you get organized through us, the Cutie Mark Crusaders' nearest and dearest friends?
Silver Spoon: Everypony get in line! No pushing, no pushing!
Foals: [cheering, under]
Apple Bloom: What a mess.
Sweetie Belle: Of awesome! Don't you see? We're really and truly and certifiably the biggest of the big shots in school right now!
Scootaloo: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: They all think we're the greatest, because we're their ticket to get time with Ponyville's newest and biggest celebrity, Princess Twilight!
Apple Bloom: We just said like two seconds ago that invitin' two ponies to Twilight Time was a big mistake! And now we're supposed to bring the whole class?
Sweetie Belle: Relax. I got this.
Apple Bloom: I don't like this, Sweetie Belle...
Sweetie Belle: You said not to invite them to Twilight Time and I didn't. So what's the problem?
Scootaloo: This feels like a trick.
Sweetie Belle: What's tricky about inviting Twilight out for a meal thanking her for all the nice things she's done for us? Seems like the least we can do for the princess!
Pipsqueak: Did someone say "princess"?
Sweetie Belle: When I told you when you could come eyeball the princess at one of her favorite hangouts, I said only two or three of you, tops!
Foals: Oops...
Scootaloo: She's coming!
Sweetie Belle: Okay! But stay out of sight!
Diamond Tiara: As you wish, Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle: Yes, as I wish.
Twilight Sparkle: [messy eating noises] Mmm! Mmmm, mm! [with mouth full] I didn't realize how hungry I was! I'm so glad you asked me to join you here today... [swallows] I'm so honored! Mm!
Sweetie Belle: You are?
Twilight Sparkle: When you first asked me to help you develop new skills, I thought, 'Working with young students so devoted to the joy of learning purely for its own sake? What could be better?' You all remind me of myself when I was your age!
Sweetie Belle: Yes, well... we feel the same way.
Apple Bloom: That's why we invited you here.
Scootaloo: All because of our love of learning!
Twilight Sparkle: [sipping drink]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Haven't seen you here in, like, forever and a half!
Twilight Sparkle: I know. I've been so busy I forgot how delicious everything is here!
Pinkie Pie: Totally! Hey, what's going on out there? Oh, never mind, they're gone. They're back! Never mind, they're gone. La la-la la-la...
[cameras clicking]
Apple Bloom: [through gritted teeth] Knock it off!
Twilight Sparkle: What in the world is going on out– [gasp]
Apple Bloom: What was all this? And this?
Scootaloo: I couldn't help it! When I don't smile in a picture, I look sad.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, we're gonna look sad all right...
[doors close]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] [long pause] Uh, can I... help you?
Foals: [excited screaming]
Diamond Tiara: Get my picture with her!
Pipsqueak: Me first!
Silver Spoon: Hey! Get out of the shot!
Sweetie Belle: This is bad.
Scootaloo: Twilight's gonna be so ticked at us.
Apple Bloom: I told ya this was a terrible idea.
Twilight Sparkle: You seriously all want my autograph? Okay, I'll sign just a couple more for you, but then I really must get back to my little friends. Oh, there you are!
Pipsqueak: Wow, to think I've been to the Hay Burger so many times, never knowing it's a regular hangout for a princess!
Twilight Sparkle: This isn't my regular hangout. I'm only here to be with them.
Pipsqueak: You mean, Princess Twilight decides where it's cool to go based on where they go?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, guys, this was fun! See ya around!
Foals: [excited chattering]
Pipsqueak: I'm opening a new lemonade stand! Won't you come to the grand opening? I'll give you free lemonade for a week!
Sweetie Belle: Relax. I know exactly how to handle this.
[scissors cutting]
Foals: [cheering]
[glasses clinking]
Pipsqueak: More lemonade?
Sweetie Belle: Don't mind if I do!
Classmate Pony 2: Done shining your hooves! It's an honor to do you the favor!
Scootaloo: Whoa, so bright I can see myself!
Apple Bloom: And so can I! Nice job bedazzlin' my bow! What do I owe you?
Classmate Pony 3: Your gratitude is thanks enough.
Diamond Tiara: You three must come to my pool party. It'll be much cooler than this.
Sweetie Belle: Look who's inviting who to her fancy house!
Apple Bloom: I believe we have arrived, Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah!
[splash]
Apple Bloom: [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: Wow, this is nice, but there's no one else here. Why is this party cooler, exactly?
Diamond Tiara: Because of all the ponies we're keeping out.
Sweetie Belle: This has been great, but we have to go. It's Twilight Time.
Diamond Tiara: So, we're coming too, right?
Sweetie Belle: Um... a-actually, no. We didn't have a chance to ask Twilight, so–
Diamond Tiara: Really? After all the favors we did for you? After all the favors they did for you?
Foals: Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! [continuing under]
Sweetie Belle: Okay, I know exactly how to handle this. Run!
Foals: Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! Twilight Time! [continuing under]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [straining]
Sweetie Belle: Go, go, go!
Scootaloo: We gotta beat them to Twilight's so we can explain!
Sweetie Belle: This way! I know a shortcut!
Foals: Twilight Time! [continuing under]
Apple Bloom: Then we run, like the wind!
Foals: Twilight Time! Twilight Time!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] [out of breath] We... made... it... Quick! Knock on–
[tires screeching]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: Twilight, we can explain.
Apple Bloom: We know you said we should just keep Twilight Time to us!
Scootaloo: We didn't mean for so many other ponies to be here! Honest!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, don't be silly. I only meant that for your benefit so you could get the most out of our time together. But if you want to share your time with others, that's fine.
Scootaloo: So you're not mad?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course not! Come on in, everypony! Spike made nachos!
Foals: [excited chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Turns out we'll need some more than that.
Spike: [sighs]
Foals: [excited chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Before we start, we should maybe get a bit more organized? Ponies interested in magic in this corner. Ponies who want to learn potions over here. Bookworm ponies over there.
Apple Bloom: Incredible. Looks like everything's workin' out just fine.
Scootaloo: And I was so afraid Twilight would be disappointed in us.
Sweetie Belle: Told you I knew exactly how to handle all this!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks to all of you for taking time out to come learn new things.
Diamond Tiara: Thank you, princess!
Silver Spoon: We love you, princess!
Foals: [You're awesome, etc.]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, okay, let's settle down. If you want to thank anypony, thank the Cutie Mark Crusaders for so generously sharing this time.
Sweetie Belle: It was nothing, really. We just felt it was the right thing to do.
Diamond Tiara: Hmph! What a laugh.
Twilight Sparkle: Let's begin over here. And what would you like to learn, little one?
Pipsqueak: I want to learn how to become a Cutie Mark Crusader!
Twilight Sparkle: And why do you want to become a Cutie Mark Crusader so badly, hm?
Pipsqueak: Because then I could get all my classmates to do me favors and stuff because I'm friends with a famous princess!
Sweetie Belle: Oh, boy.
Twilight Sparkle: Is this true?
Sweetie Belle: We wanted our time together just as a way to be with you and learn new things. Really and truly!
Twilight Sparkle: Prove it.
Sweetie Belle: Huh?!
Twilight Sparkle: If it's true, then I'm sure you've all been practicing your skills over the past week. Show me how much better you got.
Apple Bloom: Uh, well, uh... we... can't.
Scootaloo: We kinda rushed over and forgot to bring our stuff.
Twilight Sparkle: Hm, I see.
Sweetie Belle: No, wait! Hey, everypony, you're in luck! You came to learn, but instead you're getting dinner and a show! Get ready, 'cause we, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, are about to lay on you the amazing skills we learned in Twilight Time!
Foals: [intrigued chatter]
Sweetie Belle: Unfortunately, since we don't have Scootaloo's unicycle parts, she'll take apart and put back together one of the scooters from outside.
Pipsqueak: Hey! That's my scooter!
Scootaloo: You got us into this mess, kid. Might wanna roll with us.
Pipsqueak: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom doesn't have her apple seed with her, so she'll just grab an apple from the kitchen. And I will begin by using my magic to lift this broom!
Scootaloo: Ta-da!
Apple Bloom: Become a tree!
Sweetie Belle: Rise!
[creaking]
[boom]
Sweetie Belle: That didn't turn out quite how I had hoped.
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like Twilight Time is over.
Diamond Tiara: And look who's not the princess's entourage anymore.
Foals: Oooh!
Silver Spoon: Guess they didn't come here to learn after all.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, neither did any of you.
Foals: Awww...
Sweetie Belle: We're really sorry, Twilight. We made a huge mistake.
Apple Bloom: And we really and truly did enjoy learning new skills with you.
Scootaloo: Guess we'll have to just keep on doing it without you now. Thanks, Twilight.
[poof]
Apple Bloom: Thanks...
Sweetie Belle: Thanks...
Twilight Sparkle: Sweetie Belle? Remember a moment ago when you asked me to give you a chance?
Spike: [straining] Aw, come on!
Sweetie Belle: I guess Twilight must not be so super-upset anymore, 'cause she's letting us do a diary entry like our sisters do. Boy, did we get our priorities messed up. We started acting special because we were friends with someone special. We almost forgot the real reason she's special – because she's our friend. But she forgave us, and, like magic, things are good as new! That's the kind of magic I really want to get good at, now that I'm getting so good at the other kind.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, all three of you have made so much progress! I'm really proud of you. See you next time!
Sweetie Belle: We're just glad Twilight Time is back to normal. Well... almost back to normal. I just hope no one sees us.
Apple Bloom: 'Cause we're tryin' to keep Twilight Time a secret now?
Scootaloo: Or because we look ridiculous?
Sweetie Belle: A little of both, actually.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs]
[credits]

It Ain't Easy Being Breezies

Fluttershy: Okay, everypony. As you know, the adorable fairy creatures known as Breezies are about to come through Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: Yes! Ooh, it's so exciting! Ah! I can't wait for Rainbow Dash to make the breeze for them so I can see how cute they are up close!
Rainbow Dash: I've never done it before, not that I won't be totally awesome at it, because I totally will!
Fluttershy: And that breeze is very important, but so is cheering on those teeny-tiny little things, so they have the confidence to ride that breeze to their native land. Did I mention how tiny they are? So tiny! I was thinking we could do a special Breezie cheer!
Pinkie Pie: I love cheers!
Fluttershy: But these cheers should be quiet cheers. We don't want to startle them. They need to be able to concentrate. Why don't we try it? You can do it, Breezies.
Rest of main cast: [shouting] You can do it, Breezies!
Fluttershy: Oh, my.
Applejack: Heh, sorry, Fluttershy. I had no idea how hard it was to do a cheer quietly.
Fluttershy: Oh, it's okay. Quiet doesn't come naturally for everypony. Let's try it again.
Rest of main cast: [quieter but still loudly] You can do it, Breezies!
Fluttershy: Perhaps just a little bit quieter.
Rest of main cast: [quieter] You can do it, Breezies!
Fluttershy: Just a little quieter.
Rest of main cast: [practically whispering] You can do it, Breezies!
Fluttershy: [loudly] Perfect! Oh, um, I mean... yay.
[theme song]
[mariachi music playing]
[wind blowing]
Rainbow Dash: That's too strong! We gotta slow this breeze down or we're gonna blow those Breezies apart!
Mr. Cake: What I don't understand is why they need the Pegasi to make a breeze for them.
Fluttershy: Well, you see, it's the breeze that activates the Breezies' magic, and that magic protects the pollen they're carrying from being destroyed.
Mr. Cake: So, no breeze means no magic means the pollen goes bad?
Fluttershy: That's right! And they only have two days to get that pollen back before the portal to their home closes. That's why it's ever-so-important that we help them make their way through Ponyville safely.
Mrs. Cake: We certainly wouldn't want to scare them and divert them from their path!
Fluttershy: Now you understand.
Mr. Cake: Hm, you certainly know a lot about them.
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you. I went to see them gathering their pollen in Western Equestria. Um, Rarity? I, uh, hate to weigh in with you when it comes to fashion, but...
Rarity: Oh, there's too much purple on this, isn't there? I knew it! But Twilight refused to admit it.
Twilight Sparkle: What?! I-
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no-no-no. It's the perfect amount of purple. It's just that there's an awful lot of sequins on your jacket.
Rarity: Oh, darling, please! One can never have too many sequins! [chuckles]
Fluttershy: You can if they reflect the sun, and the light catches a group of Breezies right in their eyes, and blinds them long enough to get them off their course so they never get home!
Rarity: I stand corrected! I suppose there is the rare instance where one can have too many sequins. I'll just take off my jacket. I suppose this won't do either?
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Everypony, it's time. Please welcome... the Breezies!
Applejack: They're as cute as Apple Bloom on the day she was born.
Rarity: And would you look at those adorable little packs they carry their pollen in?
Seabreeze: Lun! Arshen aifok!
Pinkie Pie: So... cute! Can't... take... it!
Spike: [grunts] [hushed] Pinkie Pie, can I hop on you so I can see the Breezies?
Pinkie Pie: [hushed, straining] May explode!
[thunk]
[wind blows]
Spike: Oh, no!
Breezies: [panicking]
Crowd: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Slow down the breeze for the other group to catch up!
Cloud Chaser: They're too far back! We can't connect the breeze to both sets of Breezies!
Rainbow Dash: What if we speed it up?
Flitter: Then the first group'll be going too fast, and they'll get separated from each other!
Breezies: [panicking]
Breezies: [panicking]
Seabreeze: Tanagretu nik mir! Maisegu de piripa!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Seabreeze: Mekenar stuf!
Fluttershy: He's right! You must all gather as close as you possibly can!
Crowd: [cheering]
Seabreeze: Mugudi saikendus?
Fluttershy: Oh, I understand the language of all kinds of creatures!
Seabreeze: You must be so proud.
Fluttershy: And you speak my language too?
Seabreeze: I can. This lot can only understand you. Clearly, they're not the brightest bunch around.
Breezies: [shouts of indignation]
Pinkie Pie: That was amazing!
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry we couldn't get a breeze going that would get them back to the others.
Fluttershy: Oh, it's not your fault.
Twilight Sparkle: I, for one, am very proud of you, Fluttershy. Leaping into action like that.
Rarity: I feel like I should design you a special hero's gown! Heh... Or a sash. At least a sash.
Spike: Okay, okay, okay! I know what you're all thinking! Why don't you just say it?! [crying] I'm sorry! This is all my fault! I'm so, so sorry!
Fluttershy: Oh, Spike, it's okay! It could have happened to any one of us.
Spike: Okay... Thank you!
Breezies: [shouting]
Spike: Uh... I'm... just... gonna stay over here.
Rainbow Dash: So, Fluttershy, you want us to get the breeze going again so these little guys can get a move on?
Breezies: [cries of protest]
Fluttershy: Maybe we should wait just a moment or so. They've been through so much...
Rainbow Dash: Just gimme the word when you think they're ready.
Angel: [whimpers]
Fluttershy: Oh, my, Twirly, you look like you need a blanket.
Twirly: Sanken
Fluttershy: Oh, no problem.
Breezie: Malenki?
Fluttershy: Oh, did you need some more water?
Breezie: [slurps]
Fluttershy: Now, who else needed a hoof-knitted sweater?
Breezies: [cheering]
Applejack: Hey there! Can we come in?
Fluttershy: Oh, of course! But watch your step!
Applejack: Oop, sorry about that, little one.
Twilight Sparkle: We just wanted to see if you thought the Breezies were ready to give it another try.
Fluttershy: Has it been an hour already? Oh, my goodness! Time flies when you're making sure little creatures don't feel that you're abandoning them to the cruel world.
Twilight Sparkle: But they're not going to a cruel world, right? They're going home.
Fluttershy: Oh, yes, that's right!
Breezies: [cries of protest]
Fluttershy: On second thought, I don't think they're quite ready.
Seabreeze: Supa laipas data kurpa! Mise neku ersken laika maur! Siripat sulat!
Applejack: Uh... what did he say?
Fluttershy: I'd... rather not say.
Applejack: Okay, well, I'm sure you know what you're doin'. No one knows rare magical creatures like you do.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll just wait for your word.
Fluttershy: Thank you. I'll be in touch very soon.
[door closes]
Seabreeze: We need to go now, or we will never get home! I wish we did not need that stupid breeze to activate our magic, or I would just force you all to fly home right now! Why do we have to need magic to keep our pollen safe?
Fluttershy: Um, now, Seabreeze-
Seabreeze: Why are you giving in to these wimps?! If they had not been so scared in the first place, this never would have happened!
Fluttershy: But that is just not true, Seabreeze. It was because of a leaf, and you know that!
Seabreeze: Oh, please! They have no idea what they're doing out there! Like you said, we need as much time as we can get because they are so incompetent!
Fluttershy: Well, I didn't say that exactly now, did I?
Seabreeze: Hmph!
Fluttershy: Oh, well, maybe a snack will lighten the mood.
Breezies: [coos of interest]
Breezies: [chewing]
Breezie: [burp] Mi fargen.
Fluttershy: You're excused. Well, my Breezies, I think we can all agree that now that you've eaten and you have a little energy going in your breezy bodies, you're strong enough to face the breeze! I've loved having you here, and I hope I've made you all feel loved and special. But you have to go. Nopony here will deny that-
Seabreeze: There is nothing special about these losers! They cannot handle a simple breeze home! If they could just stick with the program and listen to me, we would be safe! At home! Home, where every Breezie is like us! [sighs]
Fluttershy: Okay, well, a confusing pep-talk, but nonetheless. I do know that if you don't leave soon, you may never make it back, and that would be terrible!
Breezie: [sneezes] Merte marshken farde.
Twirly: [coughs] Merki marshken plumatu.
Fluttershy: I had no idea you all have colds! Really? All of you?
Breezies: [coughing]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. I can't let you go out there sick! What kind of a friend would I be if I made you go now?
Breezies: [excited chattering]
Seabreeze: D'oh! Irde turten manes pudenhel! Nievo ut! Parde tarmen!
[knocking]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Fluttershy, just wondering if the Breezies are ready to go yet. Clock's kinda ticking for them to make it back before the door closes on their home.
Fluttershy: Oh, yes. I mean, not quite. Um, maybe just a few more minutes?
[door closes]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, alright.
Flitter: We wait too much longer, we'll have to create such a strong breeze, it may be more than they can handle.
Rainbow Dash: We just have to trust Fluttershy. She must know what she's doing.
Breezies: [excited chattering]
[saxophone playing]
[crash]
Breezies: Aww!
Seabreeze: Why are you spending your time on this?! I will never get home!
Fluttershy: Breezies, I must say, Seabreeze has a point. I think it's time for me to get Rainbow Dash and her friends so they can create the breeze for you to get home.
Breezies: [dismayed shouts]
Fluttershy: Ooh... You're all awfully anxious... Oh, I don't want you to feel abandoned, or that I wasn't the most kind host I could possibly be...
Twirly: Adoshen papan gorn.
Fluttershy: Oh, yes, that does make sense... Seabreeze, do you think you could wait just a couple more hou- Seabreeze? Seabreeze? Has anypony seen Seabreeze? [gasps] Where's he going? There's no way he can handle being out there on his own!
[wind blows]
Seabreeze: Ah! Ah! Ah! Blusken! Ah! Ah! Arge nusen! Uf! Osemi! Ah! Narsken! Noi serenda! Ah!
[series of thumps]
Seabreeze: Ah! Gah! Ah! Kesino! Uu! Tu ge! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Miuse konda!
[squeak]
[bees buzzing]
Seabreeze: Vaior uskren! Yavaya...
[bees buzzing]
Seabreeze: Ibeku-u-u! Ah, sa-sabada!
Fluttershy: Excuse me, bees? Can you please back off my Breezie friend? He didn't mean any harm. It was just an accident. I'm working on a bee-type dance and was hoping you could help me? Does this bring to mind any images for you? Perhaps a bee? Excuse me! I have done nothing but be kind, but I guess that is not working! You bees know better than to hurt a helpless Breezie! I demand that you go away now, or you'll have to answer to me!
Seabreeze: Menkyulen. Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you for coming after me!
Fluttershy: Of course. You could've gotten seriously hurt out there. Ponyville is much too dangerous for you. One tiny acorn is a threat!
Seabreeze: Yeah, I know! That is one reason why I have been trying to get us to go from the beginning!
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness. I was just trying not to hurt any creature's feelings, but my displays of kindness may have cost you everything... [gasps] Time is running out, and you may never make it home!
Seabreeze: That is exactly what I have been telling all of them! But they do not listen to me! Nobreezie ever listens to me!
Fluttershy: Seabreeze, I understand your feelings are hurt, but it's hard for them to hear you when you're shouting and being mean. The message doesn't get across.
Seabreeze: But what about those bees? You were not nice to them, and that was the only way they listened!
Fluttershy: Yes, but they had to go, and they wouldn't listen to me any other way. We need to go, now!
Fluttershy: My dear Breezies, I had to rescue Seabreeze from serious harm, and now I know more than ever that you must leave before it's too late! You would never survive in Ponyville.
Breezies: Erski parli polin!
Fluttershy: I can't help you any more. In fact, I wasn't helping you at all by being nice. Oh... But the truth of the matter is that I must be firm! You must go, now! [sniffs] [crying]
[door closes]
[wind blowing]
Rainbow Dash: It's too strong!
Flitter: I can't do it any lighter!
Cloud Chaser: Neither can I!
Rainbow Dash: Fly back! I'm gonna try and see if I can slow it down. Now it's too light! Oh, this will never get them home!
Fluttershy: Oh, my. Maybe it's because there are too few of them. When they started their journey, there was more of them to face the breeze together.
Twilight Sparkle: I've been studying an old spell book from the Castle of the Two Sisters. There's a spell that I think could help us! This is probably gonna feel a little funny at first, but you're gonna have to trust me.
Pinkie Pie: I love new ideas that make me feel funny at first!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Main cast: [excited noises]
Fluttershy: Maifo flai batendud! [high-pitched] Um, I mean, let's go!
[wind blowing]
Breezette: Marskin farskin.
Breezie: Metar.
Seabreeze: You can do this! I am sorry for how I treated you before! It was not right that I called you names! I did not even really believe those things I said! I was worried we would never get back to our home, and I lashed out... I know you can do this! I believe in you! Hold on to me, let us join the group!
[wind blowing]
Main cast: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [high-pitched] Holy mini-sized paradise!
Rarity: [high-pitched] This is simply beautiful! So much inspiration. Where's my sketchpad when I need it?
Pinkie Pie: [high-pitched] So...stinkin'...cute!
Breezies: [commotion]
Applejack: [high-pitched] You okay, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: [high-pitched] I'm just so very happy they got to be reunited with their family!
Breezies: [commotion]
Rarity: [high-pitched] We'd better get going before the entrance- well, exit for us, closes.
Fluttershy: [high-pitched] Goodbye, Breezies. I must go now.
Seabreeze: To remember us by.
Fluttershy: [high-pitched] Thank you! I'll miss you. I'll miss all of you! [voiceover, normal] My experiences with the Breezies have helped me to see that kindness can take many forms, and sometimes being too kind can actually keep a friend from doing what they need to do. Pushing them away may seem cruel, but it's sometimes the kindest thing you can do.
Rainbow Dash: [high-pitched] Whoa! That was a close one!
Applejack and Rarity: [agreeing]
Twilight Sparkle: [high-pitched] Okay, gather round.
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: So, uh, I've always kinda wondered what it would be like to be a griffon.
Twilight Sparkle: Not a chance.
Rainbow Dash: You sure? What about a dragon? No? It doesn't have to shoot fire!
[credits]

Somepony to Watch Over Me

Applejack, Big McIntosh and Granny Smith: [muffled conversation]
Scootaloo: Whatever they decide, Apple Bloom, we'll be here for you.
Sweetie Belle: Totally. Even though it could change everything for you, forever and ever!
[door opens]
Granny Smith: So, we here have decided... that you're old enough to stay home alone and take care of the chores yourself for the afternoon!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [gasps]
Apple Bloom: I accept your decision.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [cheering]
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Stayin' home alone, by myself, on my own! I can't believe I'm really doin' it!
Applejack: Now, hey there, filly. I know you're excited, but bein' the only pony here to take care of the day's chores is a big responsibility.
Apple Bloom: I know it! And it means everythin' to me that y'all think I'm grown up enough to handle it. I won't let you down.
Granny Smith: Well, if'n I'm gonna make my train, I best to be off. When Great Aunt Pine Apple says a pony's gots to ride by a certain time, you better be there! You be sure and take care now, Apple Bloom. Y'all take care as well. I don't know which of your delivery routes is tougher. you're each headed to a mighty hard-to-reach town.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: We know, Granny. That's the only reason I agreed to let Apple Bloom stay behind alone.
Apple Bloom: It is?
Applejack: Oh, I didn't mean it like that, sugarcube. It's just, I take my job as your big sister real serious, which is why I spent all night makin' this.
Apple Bloom: What is it?
Applejack: Just a little list of helpful reminders.
Apple Bloom: [reading] "There's some soup for you in the 'frigerator. Be sure not to heat it up too much. If it's hot, blow on it to cool it off. And take little sips — if you gulp, you could get hiccups." You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself and the chores! I'm ready for this.
Applejack: [sighs] I guess you are. I'm just not so sure I am.
Apple Bloom: But you trust me and believe I'm grown up enough to handle this, right?
Applejack: [sighs] Right. Okay then. Good luck, little sis— whoa!
Apple Bloom: [quickly] Okaygreatseeyousoonbye!
Applejack, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: [various goodbyes]
Big McIntosh: Eyuu-up!
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo! I'm alone! At home! I'm home alone! This is gonna be so awesome!
Applejack: [teeth chattering] [grunts]
[thud]
Applejack: Eheheh... Sorry, Big Mac. I was just frettin' a bit about Apple Bloom. You think she's gonna be okay on her own?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: I just keep on thinkin' of things I forgot to put on her list. Like, I didn't write down that if she wants to get a spoon out of the drawer, she needs to open the drawer first. [sighs] I know, I'm probably just bein' silly.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: But I know I'd feel a heap better if I could just check on Apple Bloom one last time. You go on ahead and make your delivery. I'm just gonna take a quick peek, and then I'll make mine.
Apple Bloom: Okay, number one seventy two: "Make sure to pump the bellows to keep the stove warm."
[bellows pumping]
Apple Bloom: Check! "Make sure the hats and bows closet is fully stocked." Check! [spits] That's everything on Applejack's list! And now that my chores are done, since there's no one else here, I get to make all the decisions! If I wanna listen to music, I can! If I wanna read a book, I can! If I wanna just stand here in the kitchen talkin' to myself, I can!
Applejack: Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
[crash]
Apple Bloom: Ugh... Applejack?
Applejack: I came back to check on you, and I'm so glad I did! I never thought about how dangerous things are around here!
Apple Bloom: Thanks, but I'm really gonna be okay.
Applejack: You are now! Because I'm here and I'm stayin'! No way am I leavin' my little baby sister home alone all by herself!
Apple Bloom: I'm not a baby! I can take care of myself! And what about those pies you're supposed to deliver?
Applejack: Pies? Ha! Family's way more important than pies!
Apple Bloom: But I'm fine! And actually... this was kind of your fault.
Applejack: I know. I should never have left you alone.
Apple Bloom: But I don't need you lookin' after me. I'm perfectly capable of stayin' home alone. Really! Just look! "There's some soup for you in the 'frigerator."
Applejack: What was that?
Apple Bloom: Watch me!
[jars clinking]
[splat]
Apple Bloom: Whoa! Ugh!
Applejack: Oh, no! This is worse than I thought! Well, don't worry, Apple Bloom, I'm here now and I'm not leavin' you home alone ever again. I'm stickin' right by your side, always!
Applejack: Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: Applejack's just overreactin' a bit. I'm sure she'll snap out of it. Whoa!
Applejack: You need somethin'? I'm right here!
Apple Bloom: I know you mean well, but I don't need you watchin' over me! I can take care of things myself!
Applejack: [laughs]
Apple Bloom: Look! Huh? Hey! Who put pillows on this rake?
Applejack: [chuckles] Oh, I don't know. Maybe someone who really loves her little sister and doesn't want her to get an owie?
Apple Bloom: [growls]
Apple Bloom: Hey, Applejack! Watch me buck these apples on my own without anythin' bad happenin' to me! [grunts]
[thunk]
[leaves rustling]
Apple Bloom: Huh? [growls]
Apple Bloom: Hm? Hm.
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Oh, for the love of...! [sighs] You've gone and baby-proofed everythin'!
Applejack: Heh, yup! Your big sister let you down once, but I promise it won't ever happen again.
Apple Bloom: But really, I'm fine! I can take care of myself. I don't need you watchin' over me!
Applejack: Aw, that's sweet. I appreciate you tryin' to make me feel better, but don't worry. I'll always be here for you. Always!
Apple Bloom: [growls]
Apple Bloom: [sighs] And that's the reason I asked y'all to come over quick.
Applejack: Hey, Apple Bloom! You need anything? A snack? A hoof massage? Maybe a snack while havin' a hoof massage?
Sweetie Belle: Why, that sounds delightful!
Apple Bloom: [through gritted teeth] No thank you!
Applejack: O-kay, well you can count on me bein' close by if'n you need anythin'!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] You see what I mean? If this keeps up, I'm never gonna be able to do anythin' without Applejack hoverin' over me!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Mm-hm.
Scootaloo: So what can we do? Hmm.
Sweetie Belle: Uh...
Scootaloo: Um...
Apple Bloom: Hang on a sec! I got it!
Sweetie Belle: What?
Apple Bloom: The pies! I'll sneak out and deliver them! Granny said that they were goin' to some incredibly hard-to-reach town. If I can do it alone, that'll show Applejack I don't need somepony watchin' over me!
Scootaloo: Just one problem. Your sister's gonna come back and check on you any minute!
Sweetie Belle: Which means you need an escape plan.
Scootaloo: Ooh, and I got an idea for one! [mocks snoring] See? It'll look just like you're sleeping in bed. Sweetie and I can take turns! That way, when one of us gets tired, the other can take over. Brilliant, huh?
Sweetie Belle: Mm-hm!
Apple Bloom: You know what? It is! I got a feelin' this just might work!
We're gonna make my sister see
I don't need her watchin' over me—
Scootaloo: Stop! No time for a song! Applejack's coming!
Sweetie Belle: If you're gonna go, we've gotta get you out of here now!
Apple Bloom: Cutie Mark Crusaders, let's do it!
[window opens]
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
[wheels clattering]
Applejack: [muffled] Everythin' okay in there, sugarcube?
Scootaloo: Quick, get in while I hide! Sweetie, no! You gotta sleep like Apple Bloom!
Sweetie Belle: How does she sleep?
Scootaloo: Like she does everything! With sass!
Applejack: Huh. I guess you must've been so tuckered out, you sent your friends home and went to bed. Then again, you are a delicate flower. [sighs] Sleep tight, Apple Bloom. I'll check on you again in a bit.
[door closes]
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [sighs]
[door opens]
Applejack: Just checkin' in on you again!
[door closes]
[door opens]
Applejack: Need anythin' now?
[door opens]
Applejack: How 'bout now?
[door opens]
Applejack: Need another blanket?
[door opens]
Applejack: Did I hear a cough?
[door opens]
Applejack: Want a glass of water?
[clock ticking]
Sweetie Belle: [snoring]
[door opens]
Applejack: [yawning] Just... checkin' in on you again. [sighs] Look at you, dozin' so peaceful-like. Here I am, checkin' up on you every five seconds, and you're totally fine. Maybe you don't need me frettin' over you all the time.
Scootaloo: [gasps] [muffled] Wow, Apple Bloom will be so glad to hear that!
Applejack: Huh? Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: Uh, um, n-no.
Applejack: Sweetie Belle? But... where's Apple Bloom? She's not here! She could be anywhere! She could be lost, cold, hungry, itchy, stuffed up, needin' to go to the bathroom!
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, we know exactly where she is.
Scootaloo: Yeah, she's making your pie delivery.
Applejack: What?! No! Didn't she hear how difficult and dangerous it was?! [gasp] I may never see my little sister again!
Applejack: Okay, Rarity's on her way here to look after you two. Now tell me, did Apple Bloom at least bring flameproof boots? A lion tamer's chair? A snake charmin' flute?! A hunk of ricotta?! [gasps] [teeth chattering] Okay, maybe there's still time to catch her before she gets there. When did she leave?
Sweetie Belle: It must've been hours ago.
Applejack: Oh, no!
Apple Bloom: [sigh] I can't see a darn thing in this swamp. [yelps]
[flames whooshing]
Apple Bloom: Well, now at least I can see.
[chimera growls]
Chimera's tiger head: I'd stay where you are. This is the only safe spot around here.
Apple Bloom: [nervous whimpering] It don't look so safe to me.
Chimera's tiger head: Oh, we just mean from the flames.
Chimera's goat head: Yeah, not from us.
Chimera's snake head: What was that? Ah, can you guysss ssspeak up?
Chimera's tiger head: I was about to tell our guest how we haven't eaten in days.
Chimera's goat head: My sisters and I can never agree on what to eat.
Chimera's snake head: [hisses] Excccept... pie.
Apple Bloom: Well, unfortunately, I gotta get these pies to a town on the other side of the swamp, so, uh...
Chimera's tiger head: Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
Chimera's goat head: Yeah, you don't have to worry about anything anymore.
Chimera's snake head: Because we're going to have our apple pie with a ssside of filly filet.
Apple Bloom: You don't say. [laughs nervously]
Chimera: [growling, bleating, and hissing]
Chimera's tiger head: Now, sisters, on three! One!
Chimera's goat head: Two!
Chimera's snake head: [hisses] Three!
[thud]
Apple Bloom: No!
Chimera's tiger head: Where do you think you're going? [growling]
Chimera's snake head: [hisses]
Apple Bloom: Yaaah! [panting] [straining noises]
Chimera: [growls, bleats, and hisses]
Chimera's tiger head: Where are the pies?!
Chimera's snake head: They're not back here.
Chimera's goat head: This is your fault! You think you've always got to be in charge!
Chimera's tiger head: [sighs] You're lucky, you know? You've got no idea what it's like to have a sister constantly looking over your shoulder!
Apple Bloom: Uh, actually...
Chimera's goat head: Let's try listening to me for a change! And I say, if there are no pies, let's settle for the filly filet!
Chimera's snake head: [hisses] Any lassst wordsss?
Apple Bloom: I really wish my sister were here!
Applejack: Hang on, Apple Bloom! I'm a-comin'!
Chimera's tiger head and goat head: Get her!
Chimera's goat head: Hey! I thought I was in charge now!
Chimera's tiger head: [growls]
Applejack: [plays snake charming flute]
Chimera's snake head: [hisses]
Chimera's tiger head: [growls] [roars]
Applejack: Howdy!
[stretching noise]
[smash]
Chimera's tiger head: [groaning]
Chimera's goat head: [growls] [bleats] Mm, ricotta!
Chimera: [distressed]
Applejack: Let's go!
[flames whooshing]
Applejack: [panting] Are you okay?
Apple Bloom: Thanks to you.
Applejack: I told you you need your big sister lookin' after you! I'm just glad this wasn't a whole lot worse. I mean, sure we lost the cart and all the pies, but at least you're— Huh, the cart! And all the pies! You actually got them all the way up here? In the dark? Through the Flame Geyser Swamp? Past that monster? ...By yourself?
Apple Bloom: Well... yeah.
Applejack: Huh, wow. That's mighty impressive! Anypony who can do that on her own, well, she don't need somepony like me babyin' her.
"Duce Switchell": Mm-hm! Andouille! This pie's even tastier than my momma's swamp water casserole!
[Cajun ponies cheering]
"Duce Switchell": Aw, now, momma, don't be like that.
Applejack: Just remember, you fellas wouldn't be enjoyin' these pies if it weren't for my sister.
Apple Bloom: And my sister!
Applejack: But this don't change the fact that tryin' to make this delivery on your own was a plumb crazy thing to do!
Apple Bloom: I know...
Applejack: [scoffs] I bet Granny Smith grounds you for a month for sneakin' out! And if Big Mac, Granny Smith 'n I ever have to be away for the day again... I would totally trust you to stay home and take care of things on your own. I guess I did get a little carried away watchin' over you, and if you hadn't snuck out like you did, maybe I wouldn't have figured that out.
Apple Bloom: Yes! Now that is the kind of 'looking after me' that I can definitely appreciate! So... we're good?
Applejack: Little sister, we're always good.
[credits]

Maud Pie

Applejack: Has anypony heard from Pinkie Pie since yesterday?
Rest of main cast: Nuh-uh.
Rainbow Dash: [yawns] I don't see what's so important we had to meet her here this early. Celestia hasn't even raised the sun yet!
[rooster snores]
Twilight Sparkle: I hope everything's okay. [knocks]
[muffled crash]
Pinkie Pie: Thank goodness you're all here! There's no time to lose!
Rarity: Whoa!
Fluttershy: Ooh...
[door closes, thwack]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Hey- whoa!
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: Careful!
Twilight Sparkle: What is all this?
Pinkie Pie: My sister Maud's gonna be here soon, and I need your help taste-testing my rock candy recipes!
Applejack: Uh, we're happy to help you, Pinkie Pie, but this seems like an awful lot of candy.
Rarity: Even for you.
Pinkie Pie: I may have gone a teensy bit overboard. [squee]
[theme song]
Main cast: [groaning]
Pinkie Pie: Everypony ready for more?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. My teeth hurt.
Fluttershy: [groans]
Applejack: I think we've had plenty. And shouldn't you be on your way to pick up Maud from the train station?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, but you've only tried half of the flavors, and we have to choose the perfect ones before she gets here so I have time to make more! [chomps]
Twilight Sparkle: Maud is your sister. I'm sure she'll love your rock candy. And I'm pretty sure you've made enough. She's only staying for the week.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, it's not just for Maud, silly. I'm making candy for all of us!
Rest of main cast: [groaning]
Pinkie Pie: It's part of a very important, super-duper special tradition that only the closest and bestest of friends can share. We're going to make rock candy necklaces together! [squeals] It all started when Maud and I were fillies on the rock farm. She taught me the Pie family rock candy recipe! It adds a secret ingredient – [whispering] It's rocks! [speaking normally] – And she showed me how to string the pieces to make them into a necklace! And once we were done, we'd trade! Maud and I have been trading necklaces back and forth since I moved to Ponyville. They're a sign that we'll always be best friends! [squee]
Applejack: Aw, what a great tradition.
Rainbow Dash: Hold on. The secret ingredient is rocks?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. But these are a special kind of rock that Maud discovered.
Fluttershy: Oh, what kind of a rock are they?
Pinkie Pie: Can't tell ya that, silly! [whispering] It's a secret! [speaking normally] Now that Maud is heading out to get her rocktorate in rock science, this may be our last chance to trade them for a really long time. I can't wait for you all to meet her. I just know that my best Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are gonna become bestest friends! We can make bestest-est friend rock candy necklaces together! She expresses herself through fashion just like Rarity, and she's really smart and loves reading just like Twilight! And she's honest, and loves forest things, and is good at games, and... Well, oh, she's awesome!
Rarity: [strained] She sounds amazing, but won't she start worrying if you aren't at the train station when she gets here?
Pinkie Pie: She sure will. [gasp] I gotta get out of here!
[Tank's gyrocopter buzzing]
Winona: [barking]
Fluttershy: I sure hope Maud has an appetite.
Applejack: Never met a pony or critter who didn't love Granny Smith's apple spiced muffins!
Rarity: Oh, it's no use! I simply cannot find anything suitable to wear!
Rainbow Dash: I doubt she'll notice what anypony's wearing, so what's the big deal?
Rarity: The big deal is that it will be very difficult to show Maud what a strong fashion presence we have in Ponyville if the most fashion-forward pony here can't keep her hat from falling apart!
Twilight Sparkle: I think we're all a little nervous about Maud's visit. She's Pinkie Pie's sister, and it's obvious Pinkie really wants us to hit it off. Being able to make those rock candy necklaces together is really important to her. I'm sure everything will be fine–
Pinkie Pie: We're heeeere!
Twilight Sparkle: Where's Maud?
Pinkie Pie: She's coming!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... you sure?
Pinkie Pie: She's not quite as fast as me. I asked Gummy to stay with her in case she got lost!
[beat]
[distant hoofbeats]
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Is she even moving?
Pinkie Pie: We're over here, Maud!
Maud Pie: [sniffs] [deadpan] Hm. Sedimentary.
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] This is a sedimentary rock.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: That's... really fascinating, isn't it, girls? We're just so thrilled you could come for a visit before your big trip. Pinkie Pie has told us so much about you. I'm Twilight, and this is Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
Fluttershy: We're ever so glad to meet you.
Applejack: We're just gonna have the best time!
[beat]
Rarity: Pinkie Pie tells me you share my love for fashion.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm really into expressing myself through my wardrobe.
Rarity: A-and what is the delightful frock you're wearing now saying?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It doesn't talk. It's a dress.
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course, I, I just meant, the frock is, just... [splutters out]
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: Uh, so this here's Winona. That's Owlowiscious, Tank, Opal, and Angel. Pinkie Pie told us you have a pet, too.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] He's in my pocket.
Fluttershy: Oh, you have a pocket pet? Like a tiny mouse? Or a baby bird? Or a trained butterfly?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's a rock. His name is Boulder.
Pinkie Pie: This is going to be the best, most awesome, funnest week ever! I can't wait for us all to become bestest friends!
Rest of main cast: [nervous laughing]
Applejack: Maud? Would you like to try one of Granny Smith's famous apple spiced muffins?
Maud Pie: [sniffs]
Applejack: Oh, uh, heh, that's not– Um...
Maud Pie: [chews] [with mouth full] [deadpan] It's crunchy.
Pinkie Pie: [chews] [with mouth full] Maud's right! They are crunchy! Yum!
Rainbow Dash: So, uh, Pinkie Pie tells us you like games.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Boulder and I sometimes play a game called 'Camouflage'. It's kind of like hide and seek but way more intense.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Awesome?
[rocks landing]
Twilight Sparkle: Any luck?
Fluttershy: I truly wish I'd spent more time with Boulder, because I'm having a very hard time remembering what he looks like.
Applejack: It's like looking for a pebble in a haystack.
Rarity: More like in a pile of pebbles.
Applejack: Well, you don't have to make it even harder.
Rarity: Ugh! I give up! this is impossible!
Twilight Sparkle: It'll hurt Maud's feelings if we all stop playing. Besides, look how much fun Pinkie Pie's having.
Pinkie Pie: Is this him? Is this him? Is this him? Is this him?
Twilight Sparkle: Just a little longer, okay?
Applejack: Uh, alright, fine...
Rainbow Dash: [simultaneously] Really?
Fluttershy and Rarity: [inaudible comments]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Found him.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Where was he?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] He was hiding in my pocket.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on!
[Tank's gyrocopter creaking]
Fluttershy: I don't mean to interrupt, but we really should get these little critters home. It's getting awfully late, and they've had a very busy day.
Pinkie Pie: Maud and I had better get going too. I want her to taste the rock candy we're gonna use for our best friends necklaces! Aw, yeah!
Applejack: She sure is... different from what I expected.
Rainbow Dash: We spent all day digging in the dirt, and he was in her pocket the whole time?!
Fluttershy: On the bright side, Boulder seemed really sweet.
Rainbow Dash: He's a rock!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, girls. I'm sure Maud was just nervous about meeting all of us.
Applejack: Maybe she was just acting a little 'off' because she was shy or somethin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. It must be awfully intimidating to meet all of us at once, especially since we're already such good friends.
Rest of main cast: [general agreement]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe if we spend some time with her one-on-one to try to get to know her better, I'm sure we'll be making those best friend rock candy necklaces in no time.
Rarity: Where shall we start? I've chosen a few fabrics that I think will be stunning with y–
Pinkie Pie: Choices, choices, choices!
Rarity: ...Of course, if you don't see anything that speaks to you, I would be happy to suggest–
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I like this one.
Rarity: [laughs] Pinkie Pie didn't tell us you were so funny!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What do you mean?
Rarity: Oh, well, it's just... I believe that is a dishtowel. [beat] B-b-but it does go very well with your complexion. I'm sure I could work my magic and turn it into something fabulous.
Pinkie Pie: Rarity and my sister working together to design something amazing! This is the best day ever!
Rarity: Perhaps I could sew all of these together and make you something you'd like.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No thanks. One is enough.
Pinkie Pie: Doesn't Maud make the coolest scarves?
Rarity: Quite...
Hummingway: [twittering]
Fluttershy: Hello there, Hummingway. I'm ever so happy to see you.
Hummingway: [twittering]
Pinkie Pie: What's he saying?
Fluttershy: He says hello, and he's happy to see us too.
Pinkie Pie: I wish I could speak hummingbird. Humm! Hum-m-m-m-m, hum!
Fluttershy: [to Maud] These spiders only live in Ponyville, and even though they may look a teeny bit scary, they're actually very sweet and help keep other, more dangerous insects away!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I was looking at the rock.
Fluttershy: Oh.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks again, Fluttershy! Start thinking about which flavors you want to put on your best friend rock candy necklace!
Fluttershy: Oh gosh. I'm not sure we're even friends yet.
Pinkie Pie: Maud is a total bookworm. She loves poetry!
Twilight Sparkle: I've got lots of poetry. Do you read anything by Quilland Ink? Or Flourish Prose?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I prefer to read my own poetry.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'd love to hear some of it!
Maud Pie: [clears throat] [deadpan]
Rock.
You are a rock.
Gray.
You are gray.
Like a rock.
Which you are.
Rock.
I've written thousands.
Pinkie Pie: She's so prolific!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] This next one is about rocks. They're all about rocks.
Rocks; these are my rocks.
Sediments: make me sedimental.
Smooth and round, asleep in the ground.
Shades of brown and gray...
Applejack: You 'bout done peelin' them apples for the cider, Maud?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I think this one is done.
Applejack: Oh, uh, yep. That's a very interestin' method you got there. [laughs nervously]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Should I peel another?
Applejack: No! I mean, nah. I'm sure there's plenty apples in it already.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] Can we taste it now?
Applejack: Sure, why not?
Pinkie Pie: [glugs] Wow! That's the best apple cider I've ever had!
Applejack: What do you think, Maud?
Maud Pie: [sips] [deadpan] It tastes like apples.
Pinkie Pie: Told you she was super honest, just like you!
Applejack: [nervously] We're practically twins, heh.
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Let's see you beat that! Whooaa!
[distant explosion]
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: That was amazing!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. How'd you do that?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I threw it.
Rainbow Dash: I guess you won this one, Maud.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm not really into... 'winning'.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Great, you're all here! Maud is out looking for rocks, so this is the perfect time for us to set up everything we'll need to make our best friend rock candy necklaces!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm not sure it's the best time to make best friend rock candy necklaces.
Pinkie Pie: Why not?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Rarity: Well, darling, you see...
Fluttershy: You're ever so thoughtful to share your special bonding ritual with us, but, uh...
Pinkie Pie: But what?
Applejack: [sighs] The truth is, we've all been tryin' real hard to get closer to Maud, but, well... maybe some ponies just don't click the way others do.
Rest of main cast: [muttered agreement]
Applejack: We just wouldn't feel right makin' somethin' that means we're best friends if, well, we aren't.
Pinkie Pie: [mane deflates] Oh. Okay. If anypony needs me, I'll be in here trying to figure out what to do with two hundred pounds of rock candy.
[door closes]
Rarity: I feel awful! Just awful...
Fluttershy: Maybe we should have just pretended we were friends with Maud.
Twilight Sparkle: If we didn't tell Pinkie Pie that we hadn't all become the best of friends, I think Maud would have.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe, but who really knows? That pony is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an igneous.
Rarity: Don't you mean "inside an enigma"?
Rainbow Dash: Nope. I mean igneous. It's a kind of rock. Ask me how I know that.
[knocking]
Pinkie Pie: I've come up with just the thing to bring everypony closer together!
Pinkie Pie: I call it "Pinkie-Rainbow-Rari-Twi-Apple-Flutter-Maud Fun Time"! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: It combines everypony's interests into one giant activity that we can all enjoy together and that will totally bring all of my bestest friends together as bestestest friends! You'll need these.
Rainbow Dash: Like I said: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Probably better for me to show you. Watch this! Applesauce tunnel for Applejack, pretty shiny stuff for Rarity, reading material for Twilight, critter time for Fluttershy...
[bear roars]
Pinkie Pie: Cupcakes for yours truly... [chomps] and it's a race for Rainbow Dash!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, what is that?!
Pinkie Pie: A rock slide, of course! For Maud! First you climb, then you slide!
Applejack: I've got a bad feeling about this...
Pinkie Pie: [giggling] Huh? [straining]
[rocks rumbling]
Rarity: [shrieks]
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness!
Pinkie Pie: [straining]
Applejack: Watch out!
Pinkie Pie: Huh? [shrieks] Help! [straining]
[jackhammer sounds]
Rest of main cast: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: What– how– what?!
Maud Pie: Pinkie Pie, what were you thinking?
Pinkie Pie: I guess I wasn't.
Maud Pie: I know how important it is to you that your friends become my friends, but I just don't think it's going to happen. I think it would be best if I just go back to the rock farm and spend the rest of the week there. It was nice to meet you all. Makes me happy knowing Pinkie Pie has such good friends.
Pinkie Pie: But... we never even got to make our rock candy necklaces... Wait, Maud! I'll come with you!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe Maud cut her trip short.
Rarity: I can't believe we nearly lost Pinkie Pie to that ridiculous obstacle course.
Fluttershy: Thank goodness Maud was able to reach her in time.
Rainbow Dash: Did you see how fast Maud moved?
Rarity: And the way she smashed that huge rock into dust? How in Equestria did she do that?
Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie was in trouble! Maud would move mountains for her if she had to.
Twilight Sparkle: That's it! I think I finally realized what we all have in common with Maud! Something that just might be worthy of a very important super-duper special tradition that only the closest and bestest of friends can share!
[train engine noises]
Maud Pie: Thank you for coming with me. I don't know how long I'll be gone on my rock research trip. I'm glad I still get to spend some time with you before I go.
Pinkie Pie: Me too. I'm sorry I put so much pressure on everypony to bond. I only wanted my friends to get to know my amazing older sister.
Pinkie Pie: What are you doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, we're so sorry we hurt your feelings by not bonding with Maud right away. And Maud, we're sorry that you felt the only way to spare Pinkie Pie's feelings was to leave Ponyville early.
Rest of main cast: Mm-hm.
Applejack: We've seen how much you care about Pinkie Pie firsthoof.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie's happiness means as much to us as it does to you, and we're sorry we couldn't see it sooner. The thing that makes us click and creates a special bond between us is how much we all love Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, shucks!
Twilight Sparkle: That's a pretty great thing to have in common, if you ask me. What do you think, Maud?
Maud Pie: Sure.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What's wrong?
Rarity: Sorry, darling. I think we all just thought she'd be a bit more excited about this.
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding me? I've never seen her more excited in my entire life!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't show my enthusiasm for things quite in the same way my sister does.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, we noticed. And we're totally cool with it.
Rest of main cast: [agreement]
[train engine noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Maud, we'd like to give you something to take on your trip, so that you remember all your friends from Ponyville.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Thank you.
Pinkie Pie: Try not to eat all the candy before you leave! [chewing]
Twilight Sparkle: Are those all the necklaces Pinkie Pie sent you?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Mm-hm.
Twilight Sparkle: You haven't eaten any of them?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I don't really like candy. But I do love Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: [chewing] Mmm!
[credits]

For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils

Sweetie Belle: I have to leave for dress rehearsal soon, Rarity! Is it finished yet?
Rarity: Uh, not quite. I still feel it needs a certain je ne sais quoi. Perhaps it needs... appliqués.
Sweetie Belle: Appliqués?
Rarity: Or sequins.
Sweetie Belle: Sequins!
[crash]
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, I adore having you help me, truly I do, but...
Sweetie Belle: Guess I got a little carried away. It's just that I know how important it is for you to finish this wardrobe in time for Sapphire Shores and her backup dancers.
Rarity: This is without a doubt my most prestigious order ever. After all, Sapphire Shores is the pony of pop, and her Equestria-wide tour launches in Canterlot next week! Which means she must have these outfits by day after tomorrow at the latest!
Sweetie Belle: But is there time?
Rarity: Barely. But I work well under pressure. Hmm, as long as I stay calm, I'll be fine.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, good! Then maybe you could check the stitching and finish the buttons on the dresses I made for me, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo? I really want them to look perfect, and... I think I need your expertise.
Rarity: My, you've been so much help to me. How could I possibly say no? When do you need them?
Sweetie Belle: Tomorrow night. For the opening night of our show!
Rarity: But, Sweetie Belle, darling! I, I'm behind as it is!
Sweetie Belle: I understand.
Rarity: I suppose... if I got a few more ponies to help me, then maybe...
Sweetie Belle: Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you! You're the best sister ever! The dresses are right over there! [giggles]
[theme song]
Cheerilee: My goodness, girls, it's time! And the audience is almost fully seated! Costumes!
Scootaloo: I can't believe Rarity still isn't here with the costumes.
Sweetie Belle: She's been very busy lately!
Apple Bloom: But how can she still not be here? She's known about this for weeks! Uh... she has known about this for weeks, right?
Sweetie Belle: I kept meaning to ask her, I really did, but I worked so hard on this play. I wrote it especially for the three of us! I directed it, I'm in it, I made the costumes... It's just that this is really my time to shine doing something completely myself, and I really wanted to keep it that way!
Apple Bloom: But we wanted everything to be perfect! All our friends came out to see it tonight!
Cheerilee: Places!
Rarity: Oh, I'm here, I'm here!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] You made it!
Rarity: Oh, I beg your pardon for cutting it so close, but I made some improvements to your original design, and I had a terrible time with these froofy sleeves. It is for the first play you ever wrote, after all, so I made quite certain it came out just so.
Cheerilee: Places! Hello?
[fanfare playing]
[applause, oohs and ahhs]
Sweetie Belle: Forsooth and anon, I cometh forthwith and posthaste with glad tidings, miladies.
[cheers]
Apple Bloom: Wow! A standin' ovation!
Scootaloo: I still have goosebumps!
Apple Bloom: This must be like a dream come true for you, huh, Sweetie Belle?
Scootaloo: Ooh, can you imagine if this show was how you got your cutie mark?
Apple Bloom: Which do you think you'd get it for? Writing, directing, or acting?
Sweetie Belle: [deep breath] Let's not get carried away. We've got a whole lobby full of friends waiting to shower us with adoration and praise. Try to be gracious.
Scootaloo: Modest.
Apple Bloom: Classy.
[ponies chattering]
Sweetie Belle: Here we are, the stars of the show!
Apple Bloom: You may tell us how much you loved it now.
Scootaloo: Line forms here!
Spike: Wow, you guys! I think your sisters would have loved it!
Apple Bloom: Would have?
Spike: They're sorry, but they had to go help Rarity get Sapphire Shores' wardrobe ready to take to Canterlot in the morning.
Scootaloo: Even Rainbow Dash?
Spike: Yeah. Rarity fell way behind.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Aww.
Spike: Aw, cheer up, the show was great! I'll get you some punch.
Sweetie Belle: At least everypony else who was able to stay loved it.
[ponies chattering]
Sweetie Belle: What did you all like best? The writing, the directing, or the acting?
Lemon Hearts: Oh my, I- I loved the dresses.
Noteworthy: I liked some of those lines you said.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, really? Which ones?
Noteworthy: Uh, I don't really remember, but you were wearing a pink taffeta dress with lots of chiffon when you said them! Whoo-ee, that outfit was a dazzler!
Lemon Hearts: I liked that one almost as much as the one with the lacy trim and all the embroidered cuffs! [chuckles]
Noteworthy: That was a nice one too!
Sweetie Belle: [growls] Isn't there anypony here who remembers anything about the play besides the dresses?!
Crowd: [general excuses]
Sweetie Belle: [noise of frustration]
Fluttershy: All of this is one headpiece?
Rarity: Indeed. This marvelous extravagance is the crème de la crème of the entire wardrobe! But alas, without this key hidden stitch, it's just a... I'm trying to think of a nicer way to say 'big bummer'. [sighs] Now perhaps we can all at last take a moment to relax!
[door opens and closes]
Rarity: Whatever's the matter, Sweetie Belle? Didn't the play go all right?
Sweetie Belle: Not even close.
Rarity: Oh, dear. Was something amiss with the dresses I made you?
Sweetie Belle: No, they were perfect, and that was the whole problem!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, um, I think maybe I'll go take that moment to relax now.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, sure do feel like relaxing!
Applejack: Right behind ya!
Sweetie Belle: How could you?! "Oh, what amazing dresses! Oh, how I love the dresses! Ooh, dresses, dresses, dresses, dresses!"
[pause]
Rarity: Oh, so they did like them. [chuckles] You had me worried, you silly filly.
Sweetie Belle: There! I knew it! You did this on purpose! Stealing the spotlight like you always do! It's my fifth birthday party all over again!
Rarity: The... the what now?
Sweetie Belle: Don't act like you don't remember. Or are you trying to prove you're a better actress than me too?!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, if I did anything to upset you, then--
Sweetie Belle: Admit you made those dresses too good on purpose!
Rarity: I thought they were supposed to be good.
Sweetie Belle: Yes, good. Not jaw-dropping amazing!
Rarity: I only tried to do what I thought you wanted.
Sweetie Belle: Ha!
[door slams]
Sweetie Belle: Ugh, I don't believe it. After everything I put up with all week long! [imitating Rarity] "Sweetie Belle, get me some red ribbon! No, that's not red, that's cherry! No, that's not red, that's cinnamon!" [normal, muffled] For Pete's sake, it's all red!
Rarity: [to Opalescence] I should probably go talk to her, hm?
Sweetie Belle: [muffled] At least Sapphire Shores won't be all like "Ooh, who fetched you that red ribbon? Because I don't care about anything else you made. All I care about is that amazing red ribbon!"
Rarity: Perhaps waiting would be best.
[bedclothes rustling]
Sweetie Belle: Ughhh! Hgh, hgh, hgh! Nnngh! [growls] Now I can't even sleep! Happy now, big sis? [growls]
[tap running]
Sweetie Belle: [gulping water] I wish there was a way I could take back all the work I did!
Rarity: [snoring]
Sweetie Belle: Even better. [giggles sinisterly]
[muffled ponies chattering]
[camera clicking]
Sweetie Belle: [growls] Now what?
[ponies cheering]
Eclair Crème: And the winner of the "Best Writer, Director, Actor in an Awesome Play Put on by a Pony and Her Awesome Best Friends" goes to...
"Star Gazer": Sweetie Belle!
[crowd chattering and cheering]
[cameras clicking]
[lightning cracks]
[ponies in distress]
[Wilhelm scream]
Sweetie Belle: Don't go!
Rarity: [evil laugh]
Sweetie Belle: Stop! Why do you have to ruin everything?!
Rarity: [growls]
Princess Luna: Enough!
Rarity: [whimpers]
Sweetie Belle: Princess Luna! It's really you! Or am I dreaming?
Princess Luna: What do you think?
Sweetie Belle: Let me see. You just rescued me from a maniacal laughing Rarity-cloud. Yeah, probably dreaming.
Princess Luna: I understand what you're going through, Sweetie Belle. I too have a sister who often shines more brightly than me, and with this, I have struggled.
Sweetie Belle: Wait, come back! Luna? Can you hear me? Thank you for what you did! Help, Luna! Luuuna!
[series of thuds]
[foals cheering]
Sweetie Belle: I remember this. This is my fifth birthday party! I decided to make a grand entrance. I made myself all beautiful, just like my big sister.
[thud]
Sweetie Belle: Finally, I was perfect, and then went to the stairs to enter like the belle of the ball. When I finally came out of my room, I found the party going on without me.
[foals cheering]
Sweetie Belle: And I kept posing at the top of the stairs, waiting to be noticed, but all I heard was...
"Mint Flower": These party favors are the coolest! [blows party buzzer]
Little Pony 2: Awesome! Where did you get these?
Rarity: Made them myself. And of course, you'll all want cake, won't you?
[foals cheering]
Little Pony 2: You're the greatest, Rarity!
"Plum Star": Who needs a birthday girl when you've got the birthday girl's amazing big sister?
Younger Sweetie Belle: [sniffling]
Sweetie Belle: That's when I learned 'never try to shine with my big sister around'.
Princess Luna: But perhaps you didn't have the whole story.
Sweetie Belle: I thought you said you understood? Luna?
[stomp]
Little Pony 2: Where's Sweetie Belle?
Rarity: I'm sure she'll be along in any moment.
"Titania": [yawns] I'm tired of waiting. I say we get out of here before we all keel over from boredom. Who's with me? Poor Sweetie Belle. Nopony's gonna come to another one of her parties after this fiasco.
Rarity: Don't go! You'll miss out on the, uh, party favors! I was going to save them 'til the end, but...
"Mint Flower": These party favors are the coolest! [blows party buzzer]
Little Pony 2: Awesome? Where did you get these?
Rarity: Made them myself. And of course, you'll all want cake, won't you?
[foals cheering]
"Plum Star": Who needs a birthday girl when you've got the birthday girl's amazing big sister?
Younger Sweetie Belle: [sniffling]
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no. All of these things were Sweetie Belle's idea. I just assisted with the execution.
Sweetie Belle: I guess Rarity wasn't trying to steal the spotlight. She was trying to save my party. Luna? Luna!
[splash]
[dolphins squeaking]
Rarity: Should I hem the cloaks now or wait until I'm there? I could hem them now, but I might have to redo them...
Sweetie Belle: When was this?
Rarity: But if I wait until I'm in Canterlot to hem them, Sapphire Shores might not get the best first impression...
Sweetie Belle: Wait. This must've happened earlier tonight!
Rarity: Ooh... Sapphire Shores is such a big star and such a stickler for details. What if everything's not perfect enough?
Sweetie Belle: Funny, I thought I was the only one who got worried about stuff like that.
Rarity: Oh, buck up, Rarity, stop this foolishness. You've done your best and left nothing to chance! All that's needed now is a good night's rest.
[click]
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] I hope everything goes alright for her tomorrow.
Princess Luna: Hm. How curious you should say that.
[door opens]
Princess Luna: Go. Go see what the future holds if you fail to rein in your worst instincts, as I once did.
Rarity: And here it is! The crème de la crème--
Sweetie Belle: Noooo!
Rarity: The piéce de resistance...
Sweetie Belle: Don't! [gasps]
Backup dancers: [oohing] [gasping]
Rarity: The headdress!
Sapphire Shores: Looks like I made a mistake here.
Rarity: But, but this is impossible! I, I, I checked and rechecked everything! This couldn't have happened!
Sapphire Shores: You sure about that, honey?
Rarity: Please, you must believe me!
Sweetie Belle: Listen to my sister!
Sapphire Shores and Backup dancers: [laughing]
Rarity: [crying]
Sweetie Belle: [screams] I don't wanna see any more!
Rarity: Always check and recheck!
Sapphire Shores: Who all wants to hear a funny story about my ex-costume designer?
[ponies laughing]
Rarity: Check, recheck, recheck, then recheck!
Sweetie Belle: Make it stop! Princess Luna, can you hear me?!
Fluttershy: Make me a dress, Rarity, please?
Rarity: Go away! You know I don't do that anymore!
[door slams]
Sweetie Belle: Wake me up, Princess Luna, wake me up, wake me uuuup!
Sweetie Belle: [gasping]
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: Rarity? [gasps] Oh no! The box is... gone? I'm too late! She left for Canterlot!
[train engine noises]
Sweetie Belle: The key is for you two to distract Rarity long enough for me to put the stitch back in without her noticing.
Scootaloo: If we're not too late already.
Apple Bloom: Oh, my gosh! I can't believe we're goin' to see Sapphire Shores! I'm such a huge fan! I know all her songs!
Scootaloo: 'Get Your Pony On'!
Apple Bloom: Ooh, that's one of my favorites!
Sweetie Belle: This isn't a trip to see Sapphire Shores! It's a trip to save my sister from a horrible future!
Scootaloo: 'Serves Her Right'!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] How can you say that?! Rarity doesn't deserve that at all!
Scootaloo: No, 'Serves Her Right' is another one of Sapphire Shores' songs!
Apple Bloom: You seriously didn't know that? Don't you listen to her music?!
Sweetie Belle: ...I prefer show tunes.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom: Ugh.
[pounding music]
Sapphire Shores: Five, six, seven eight, ba-bam!
Rarity: Oh, bravo! Fabulous! Magnifique!
Sapphire Shores: One more time, from the top. Let's not embarrass me in front of my favorite designer this time? And a-one, two, three, four!
Sweetie Belle: But you have to let us in! I'm Sapphire Shores' designer's sister! You have to believe us!
Security guard: Kid, the only thing I have to do is make sure Sapphire Shores doesn't get interrupted all day by fans like you.
Sweetie Belle: But I'm not a fan!
Apple Bloom: I am!
Scootaloo: Me too!
Sweetie Belle: Not helping!
Backup dancers: [panting]
Sapphire Shores: Now, that's how I like it! You rocked it, girls! Get some water and be back in ten. Rar-i-ty, come on up here and show me what you brought me. Sapphire wants to see it and to love it!
Scootaloo: [straining] Almost...
[crash]
Scootaloo: Oof!
Sweetie Belle: We've gotta get in there, now!
Sapphire Shores: Okay then. Liking what I see so far. So is this the whole shebang?
Rarity: Actually, I saved the best for last!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [screaming]
Rarity: And here it is!
[thudding]
Sweetie Belle: You gotta see this with the cinnamon ribbon! You'll love it!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle?!
Sapphire Shores: You know her?
Rarity: Uh... [laughs nervously] Ahem. Just a moment!
[door opens]
[crash]
[door closes]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, good! This is just a dream!
Princess Luna: Actually, no. This is very much real.
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] Oh, Luna... I wish none of this ever happened... What am I gonna do?
Princess Luna: Let's begin with this. And I think I know how you can even improve it.
[door opens]
Rarity: I would like to know what in the wide, wide realm of Equestria this stunt of yours is all about, and I want to know now! Do you have any idea how important this job is to me?
Sweetie Belle: Actually, I do. I was upset at you for stealing the spotlight from me at the play, so I pulled out the center stitch to the headpiece so it would fall apart.
Rarity: What?!
Sweetie Belle: But then I realized I didn't want your future to be ruined forever and ever, so I came back to change it before it was too late! So... here it is. It's all fixed. Please forgive me.
Rarity: Wait... what is this?
Sweetie Belle: Trust me. Sapphire Shores is gonna love it.
Sapphire Shores: Rarity, this isn't going to work out. You don't get to my level of success without learning to read the signs, and this situation has bad luck written all over it.
Rarity: I promise you'll absolutely adore the headdress as soon as you see it.
Sapphire Shores: My, it is attractive, but...
Sweetie Belle: Look at the stitching, real close.
Sapphire Shores: Well, I'll be. It's a dolphin! That's my lucky animal! They swim with me in my dreams.
Rarity: Wherever did you come up with the idea for a dolphin?
Sweetie Belle: Oh, it just came to me... in a dream. I'm sorry I got jealous about those dresses. I know now that you were only trying to help.
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie, I forgive you! But I never did get to see your play. Any chance I could catch an encore performance?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, I don't think the play went all that good. To be honest, the costumes were the best part.
Rarity: Awww!
[credits]

Leap of Faith

[splashing]
Apple Bloom: Just one more time? Please?
Applejack: Alright, but this is the last one.
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woooo!
[splash]
Granny Smith: [spluttering] Who done that?!
Apple Bloom: Sure wish you'd come swim with us, Granny.
Granny Smith: Uh, sorry, dear. I just can't bring myself anywhere near that there swimmin' hole.
Apple Bloom: How come?
Granny Smith: Well, I wasn't always this way...
[telecine beeping]
Granny Smith: Time was, I was an aquapony all-star! In fact, I was the only Apple to ever come close to breaking the Equestria high-diving record! Falling six stories into a deep dish pie pan takes a toll on the hindquarters. Oh, I was so sore, took years before I could even look at the water again! Just the idea of swimmin' makes my whole body ache! Besides, these old legs can't even paddle fast enough to stay afloat.
[splash]
Granny Smith: [panicked noises]
Apple Bloom: Boy, I sure would hate to be afraid of swimmin'. You think I'll ever be scared of the water?
[Jaws-theme BGM]
Apple Bloom: Aah!
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Applejack and Big McIntosh: [laughing]
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Wow, Granny. I can't believe you were a high diver!
Granny Smith: The best one in Ponyville!
Apple Bloom: Do you think I could be a high diver?
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Applejack: Absolutely not.
Apple Bloom: But–
Granny Smith: Now you hold your horsefeathers, little seed! I never said bein' a high diver was a smart decision! It's incredibly dangerous!
Apple Bloom: I know, but–
Granny Smith: But nothin'! It is the riskiest, scariest, darn-fool thing I ever did do! That's not to say I didn't wish I was still young and spry and confident, but let's leave the flyin' through the air to the Pegasi.
Apple Bloom: Wow, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so fun.
[ponies talking]
Applejack: Wow. I wonder where everypony's headed.
[distant fairground music]
Applejack: Now where in Ponyville do you two think you're goin'?
Granny Smith: Aw, quit bein' such a worry-worm and follow your ears!
Apple Bloom: Come on, Applejack, aren't you curious?
[fairground music gets closer]
[ponies chattering]
[crank turning]
[steam puffing]
Flim: Thank you, one and all, for your attendance, and we guarantee that your time here will not be spent in vain!
Flam: In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time you've ever spent!
Applejack: The Flim Flam Brothers! This should be interestin'.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Flim: Welcome, one and all, to the demonstration of a lifetime!
Flam: A demonstration of a better life!
Flim: A demonstration of a better time! And if we haven't captured your interest just yet, by the time we've finished, an unfortunate phenomenon practically guarantees that we will!
Flam: A phenomenon? What's that?
Flim: It's a circumstance perceptible by the senses, but in this case, it's the simple fact that:
There's ailments all around us in everything we touch and see
[Flam]
A sickness that lies waiting there in every breath you breathe
[Flim]
Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea
[Flam]
It's amazing how infected that the natural world and all its things can be
Flim: Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick.
Flam: But twisted hooves and aching joints don't heal all that quick.
Flim: Consider just how dangerous this world is! You might...
[Flam]
Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight
[Flim and Flam]
But luckily for you, we've got the thing you need
And it's easier when all you need's the cure
The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure
Flim: Now I know our claims seem fantastical.
Flam: Impractical.
Flim: Improbable.
Flam: Impossible.
Flim and Flam: And magical!
Flim: So we welcome every suffering pony to make their way up to the stage.
Flam: Now don't crowd.
Flim: And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness before your very eyes.
Flam: You there! Come up here, good sir.
Flim: I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.
Flam: Try taking a sip of this!
[ponies gasping]
[Flim and Flam]
That's why you're so lucky we've got the thing for you
Just come on up, we've always got some more
Of the Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
[Silver Shill]
I won't need these crutches to dance out the door
Granny Smith: Now how do ya like that?
Applejack: I don't. There's somethin' funny about this whole thing.
[Flim]
Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair
You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work, there's graying in your hair
[Flam]
Just listen and I'll tell you that you don't need to fear
Your ears will work, your muscles tone, your eyes will see so clear
[Crowd]
Luckily for us, you've got the thing we need
The answer to our problems in a jar
The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
Is the greatest ever miracle by far!
[in background]
Tonic... tonic... tonic...
Flim: It cures the reins, the spurs, and the Clydesdale fur blight.
Flam: Hooferia and horsentery cured in just a night.
Flim: You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters or terrible bridle-bit cleft.
Flam: Saunter sitz and gallop plop will give your tail some heft.
Flim: Mane loss, hay fever, or terrible tonsillitis.
Flam: You heard it here, folks -- this is the only place in all of Equestria you'll find it!
[Flim]
It can make you shorter, taller, or even grow old
[Flam]
But who'd want that?
[Flim]
When with one drink
[Flim and Flam]
You can be young again–
Granny Smith: SOLD!
Flim: Congratulations, Granny Smith! You just made the purchase of a lifetime!
Applejack: Are you as worried as I am?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[splash]
Apple Bloom: Boy, I just can't believe all the things that Flim Flam Tonic can do!
Applejack: When somepony says somethin's too good to be true, it usually is.
Apple Bloom: You mean Granny wasted her money?
Applejack: Well, I don't know about that, but I don't think there's a tonic in Equestria that can make an old pony young again.
Granny Smith: Howdy!
Apple Bloom: Granny?!
Applejack: Hang on now! We'll get ya!
[splash]
Applejack: [grunts]
[splash]
Apple Bloom: Granny, I thought you were too afraid of the water to swim! And, and what about your hip?!
Granny Smith: Well, I reckon it might have been a problem before I had myself a dose of that there Flim Flam Tonic!
Applejack: I'm not so sure that tonic really does anythin'.
Granny Smith: Doesn't do anythin'?! What d'you call this? [hums a tune]
Applejack: I'm glad you're feelin' good, but how do you know it's from the tonic?
Granny Smith: I looked out at the water this mornin' and I felt the same terrifyin' aches and pains I always do. But one sip of that magic elixir and it all went away! Why, I might even get a head start on my chores! What do you say, Big Mac-a-doo? Up for a little afternoon applebuckin'?
Big McIntosh: Uh, no.
Granny Smith: Oh, quit your bellyachin'!
Apple Bloom: Gee, it looks like that tonic works after all! I wonder what's in it.
Applejack: I think maybe it's time we found out.
[Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic in background]
Apple Bloom: So you're just gonna walk up and ask them how it works?
Applejack: I guess. Though if it's a genuine cure, I don't suppose they'll be too keen on sharin' the recipe.
[Silver Shill]
–out the door!
Apple Bloom: Wait a second! That's that same pony from before!
Applejack: Hey!
[thudding]
Applejack: Now hold it right there, Mister...?
Silver Shill: Shill. Silver Shill. Ooh, what do you two want?
Applejack: Our Granny took some tonic and we want to know how it works.
Apple Bloom: Granny couldn't swim before, and now she can. Just like you couldn't walk and now you can. But what are you doin' back here? I mean, if the tonic cured you and all...
Silver Shill: [gulps]
Applejack: ...Because he's part of the act! It's time for you to tell the truth! You never needed crutches at all, did ya?
Silver Shill: I, uh...
[whistles blowing]
Applejack: Hey! Huh?
Flim: Well, if it isn't our most favorite Apple!
Flam: What brings you back to our humble abode?
Applejack: You two charlatans sold my Granny a bottle of tonic, and now she's off actin' like a filly again.
Flim: What's so bad about that?
Applejack: If she keeps gallavantin' around like a yearlin', she's apt to drop from exhaustion or worse! What's more, I know for a fact that your friend here is dressin' up as a different pony every night so he can pretend to be cured!
Flam: Well, well, well, that's quite an accusation.
Flim: But let's say that it's true...
Flam: Hypothetically...
Flim: Theoretically...
Flam: As I understand, your Granny was a famous aquapony.
Flim: The star of the show, once upon a time.
Flam: But hasn't set so much as a hoof in the water since.
Applejack: Until today, that's right.
Flim: Well, then even if our tonic were nothing more than a mixture of apple juice and beet leaves...
Flam: Hypothetically...
Flim: Theoretically...
Flam: The fact is that Granny is happier now than before she tried it.
Applejack: I guess...
Flim: So, the question is...
Flam: Do you really want to be the pony who takes all that happiness away?
Applejack: I...
Apple Bloom: There you are! I've been lookin' all over! Did you find out what's in the tonic?
Applejack: Honestly, Apple Bloom... as long as it works, I... don't suppose it really matters.
Apple Bloom: Well, if it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter to me either, sis.
Flim: That's the spirit!
Flam: Come back anytime!
[splashing]
Apple Bloom: Hey, Granny! Think you can buck me over the water?
Granny Smith: I don't see why not! Come on, Big Mac, toss her this way!
Applejack: Granny, wait!
Granny Smith: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: [laughing]
Granny Smith: Uh, what were you sayin', dear?
Applejack: Granny, don't you think you should take it kinda easy?
Granny Smith: I've been takin' it easy for too long! And now, thanks to that Flim Flam Tonic, I don't have to!
[splash]
Apple Bloom: Granny, you think I could be an aquapony like you?
Granny Smith: Of course you can, sapling. There's nothin' to it but to do it!
Apple Bloom: Well, the Ponyville swim meet is comin' up. We could enter together! A legendary water pony like you? We'd be a cinch to win!
Granny Smith: Mm, ee, uh, I don't know... Bein' back in the water is one thing, but a competition is a pony of a different color.
Apple Bloom: Oh. Okay.
Applejack: I don't know, Granny. A swim meet sounds pretty safe. And after all, if that tonic lets you swim in a river and a swimmin' hole, a pool should be no problem at all.
Granny Smith: Well, I'll be a tart turnover, you are right! All we need now is more tonic!
[ponies chattering]
Flam: Welcome, friends, and step right up! The next show starts in five minutes!
Flim: But why not buy your tonic now and avoid the rush?
Flam: Right this way, good sir!
Granny Smith: We'll take the whole case!
[bits clinking]
"Jinx": Are you saying this stuff actually works?
Applejack: It seems to work for Granny.
Flim: You heard it here first, folks! Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic is Granny Smith-tested and Applejack-approved!
"Jinx": If Applejack says it works, that's good enough for me!
[ponies chattering excitedly]
[bits clinking]
[splash]
[ponies clapping and cheering]
[splashing]
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: Hoo-ha, hee-hee, ha-hoo-ha!
Applejack: Just remember, you two. The most important thing is to be safe and have fun, right?
Granny Smith: Fiddlesticks! With the routine we've been workin' on, I'll be a plum puddin' if we don't win this thing!
Applejack: Uh... good luck, then!
Granny Smith: Luck? Pfft, who needs luck? We got tonic on our side!
Flam: Flim Flam's Magical Curative Tonic!
Flim: Get your Applejack-approved tonic! Granny Smith drinks it – why shouldn't you?
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: [sighs] Right.
Granny Smith: Now, if'n you'll excuse us, we got some swimmin' to do!
[splashing]
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: Well, I'll be...
[cameras clicking]
Snappy Scoop: That was some of the most amazing aquabatics I've ever seen! How in Equestria did you do it? Hard work? Lots of practice? [clicks camera]
Granny Smith: Yeah, but mostly it's the tonic!
Flim: That's Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic, to be precise.
Flam: Buy it now while supplies last.
[ponies chattering]
Applejack: What are you doin' here?
Silver Shill: Oh, things are going so well, Flim and Flam gave me a promotion! Just made my first bit as a salespony. No more costumes for this pony. [beat] This is more of a uniform.
Applejack: If you say so.
Silver Shill: I used to wonder if I was doing the right thing. You know, pretending to be cured, basically lying to folks about this tonic. But thanks to you, I realized that sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Applejack: Thanks to... me?
Apple Bloom: With Flim Flam's magical Curative Tonic, my Granny can do anything! Just ask Applejack!
[cameras clicking]
Applejack: No! This has gotta stop! If ponies keep believin' that tonic can do things it can't, who knows what'll happen?
Silver Shill: Maybe something like that?
Applejack: [gasps] Granny! What in blazes does she think she's doin'?!
Apple Bloom: Granny's gonna break the Equestria high divin' record!
Applejack: Land sakes! [catching breath] [gasps]
[whip cracking noises]
Granny Smith: [yelps] Now what in tarnation did you do that for?!
Applejack: That was the most fool-pony thing I've ever seen anypony do in all my life! You can't do a dive like that!
Granny Smith: Oh, quit your fussin'! I had enough tonic to do a dive ten times as high!
Flim: Twenty times, by my count.
Flam: Thirty, with a favorable breeze.
Applejack: I hate to disappoint everypony, but there's no way Granny could have made that dive, because this tonic is a fake!
[crowd gasps]
"Jinx": But you gave it your stamp of approval!
Rainbowshine: Are you saying you lied?
Applejack: ...I am.
[crowd gasps]
Applejack: I didn't mean to! But everypony seemed so much happier, I couldn't bring myself to tell you when I found out the tonic wasn't real. I know it was wrong. I just hope, with time, I can win back everypony's trust.
Apple Bloom: But if the tonic is a fake, then how come Granny can swim again, and what about all that aquabatics stuff we just did?
Applejack: I reckon sometimes you can forget what you're capable of, and it just takes a little extra confidence to remember that it was inside of you all along. But tellin' ponies your tonic can do things it can't is just wrong!
Flim: But you just said it boosts confidence!
Flam: And that's not all it does, folks–
Silver Shill: Yes, it is! In fact, it's not a tonic at all! I know, 'cause I helped make it! Watching Applejack save Granny and then admit to lying, well, that made me realize I was making ponies believe in a thing that just wasn't so!
Applejack: Believin' in somethin' can help you do amazin' things. But if that belief is based on a lie, eventually it's gonna lead to real trouble.
Silver Shill: Thank you, Applejack. I got this through dishonest means. That was a mistake I won't be making again! I'd like you to have it, as a reminder of how you helped me finally see the truth.
Applejack: I don't know...
Silver Shill: Oh, don't worry. I'll track down the pony I sold that worthless tonic to and give him another bit to replace this one! Honest.
Applejack: I'm sorry, Granny. I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop swimmin'.
Granny Smith: Why in tarnation would I do that? I just can't believe those two salesponies had me believin' I could near fly! Hey, where'd they go?
Applejack: Bein' honest sure gets hard when it seems like the truth might hurt somepony you care about. But I think believin' a lie can end up hurtin' even more. Maybe some ponies don't care about that – but I sure ain't one of them. Now you take it easy there, Granny!
Granny Smith: Oh, I plan to! Hoo, ha, ha-whee!
[splash]
Apple Bloom: [laughing]
[credits]

Testing Testing 1, 2, 3

Twilight Sparkle: [reading] The magical properties of this spell will only have lasting effects if you focus on—
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: No! Rainbow Dash! [grunts] How in Equestria does that pony expect to pass her history of the Wonderbolts exam tomorrow if she's wasting time flying?! I'm just gonna fly right up to her and tell her what I think about her lackadaisical approach to studying! Won't she be surprised!
Rainbow Dash: Surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: What? Huh? How did you—
Rainbow Dash: Puh-lease, Twilight. That was the worst sneak attack ever.
Twilight Sparkle: Wha? But—
Rainbow Dash: I saw you giving me the stink-eye from the ground and heard you flying towards me and muttering from a mile away.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you heard me "muttering", then you must know what I was "muttering" about.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, the Wonderbolts history test. No big deal.
Twilight Sparkle: No. Big deal. Really big deal. It's a test! A test that will determine if you can join the newly-formed Wonderbolts Reserves, and being part of the Wonderbolts Reserves means you'll have the opportunity to live your dream as a Wonderbolt! This is the most important test of your life!
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, not everypony gets all freaked out about tests like you.
Twilight Sparkle: I do not get "all freaked out" about tests!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, seriously? Your freakouts are so epic, you sing whole freakout arias about freaking out.
Twilight Sparkle: Fine, I may tend to take my tests a little seriously, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be studying for yours! Oooh! And I know just the pony who can help you: me! This is gonna be so much fun!
[teleporting noises]
Rainbow Dash: Sure. Fun.
[theme song]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Wha– huh?
Twilight Sparkle: This is the most complete—
Rainbow Dash: And ginormous!
Twilight Sparkle: —book on the history of the Wonderbolts.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, but how am I supposed to get what's in there into here?
Twilight Sparkle: With my handy-dandy study checklist, of course!
Rainbow Dash: Of course.
Twilight Sparkle: First up, reading and highlighting. Reading and highlighting is the foundation of any good study method. It allows the student to hone in and boil down on what's really important, separating the good from the bad, the wheat from the chaff, getting to the crux of things. Let's see what you've got so far!
Rainbow Dash: Um...
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Hm, by highlighting everything, you don't really separate the wheat from the chaff... Or the good from the bad. Hey, I am not that tall!
Rainbow Dash: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Okay, Rainbow, clearly reading and highlighting is not your style of studying, so let's move on to the tried and true: History lecture! Yes, Rainbow?
Rainbow Dash: Is it snack time?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Rainbow Dash: Recess?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Can't we just watch the history of the Wonderbolts movie?!
Twilight Sparkle: No! Now, just get comfortable, and experience the magic of learning. Ahem. Prior to the great Celestia/Luna rift, there was no need for the Earth, Unicorn, Pegasi, or E.U.P., Guard.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[stool creaks and thuds]
Twilight Sparkle: But after Luna's banishment, the Protective Pony Platoons were formed. On the anniversary of the first Celestial year of peace, a celebration was held.
[stool continues creaking]
Owlowiscious: [starts hooting, continues under]
Spike: [starts drumming, continues under]
Twilight Sparkle: Headed by General Firefly, an elite team of aerial performers were chosen to help celebrate this auspicious occasion. The first performance was so full of energy, so highly charged, that magical lightning showered down on the crowd. Everypony was so filled with amazement and wonder that General Firefly dubbed them "the Wonderbolts"!
[Spike and Owlowiscious stop; stool continues creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, can you repeat any of my lesson?
[stool creaks]
[thud]
[horn honks]
Rainbow Dash: [snorts, laughs]
[cards rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: History lecture... nope. [sighs] Okay, Rainbow– Rainbow? Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Here!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's move on to my favorite style of learning: flashcards!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, does that mean I'll learn in a flash?
Twilight Sparkle: One can only hope. [inhales] Colonel Purple Dart, the leader of the Wonderbolts in the Fourth Celestial Era, was known for his– wha?! Rainbow! Did you see what happened?
Rainbow Dash: What? No! I was... riveted by your captivating cards!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... After becoming the official flying squadron for Princess Celestia, she honored them with– Gotcha!
Rainbow Dash: Got what?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: The original Wonderbolts lightning bolt insignia was– [yelps] Rainbow Dash, you could've hurt me!
Rainbow Dash: With a spit wad? Really?
Twilight Sparkle: A spit wad to the eye would have been no laughing matter!
[snap]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you can horse around like this, then you clearly must be ready for the test.
Rainbow Dash: Clearly.
Twilight Sparkle: Well then, I guess you're also ready for a...
[teleporting noise]
Twilight Sparkle: Pop quiz!
Rainbow Dash: Bring it!
[teleporting noise]
Twilight Sparkle: The initials E.U.P. stand for what?
Rainbow Dash: Ernie's undercooked pancakes.
Twilight Sparkle: The original aerial team performed for...?
Rainbow Dash: Celestia's cereal celebration.
Twilight Sparkle: The Wonderbolts were given their name by this famous Pegasus. Who is she? [to herself] Please don't say Colonel Waffle...
Rainbow Dash: Hello? General Blazing Donut Glaze! [scoffs] So, did I ace it or what?
Twilight Sparkle: Or what. You didn't get one answer correct.
Rainbow Dash: What? But– but how?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. I've never heard answers so wrong! And so breakfast-related!
Rainbow Dash: [stomach growls]
Twilight Sparkle: If you had taken the official test today...
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] My dreams of being in the Wonderbolts Reserve would have been totally crushed! [gasps] What am I gonna do? I'm running out of time! I don't know any of this history! I'm gonna fail!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail! And it's all your fault!
Twilight Sparkle: My fault?! I'm the one helping you!
Rainbow Dash: Maybe your famous study methods aren't all they're cracked up to be, eh, teacher?!
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, I've used them to study for many a test and passed!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you know the name of the premiere Wonderbolts choreographer?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, well—
Twilight Sparkle: Commander Easyglider. Do you know how many Pegasi flew in the original squad?
Rainbow Dash: Um—
Twilight Sparkle: Seven! Do you know Princess Celestia's favorite flight pattern?! The Icaranian Sun Salutation! See? I could pass the test.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! Rub it in, why don't ya? Besides, I don't see why I have to take this lousy test anyway. I've proven I'm one of the best flyers around.
Twilight Sparkle: Knowing their origin and being able to properly represent them for all of Equestria is just as important.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right. Some history buff like you must have made that up to bring us flyers down.
Twilight Sparkle: Knowing history actually is beneficial, Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry] Beneficial for eggheads!
Fluttershy: Girls.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this egghead knows history and can fly. Maybe I should become a Wonderbolt.
Rainbow Dash: Just 'cause you've got wings, doesn't mean you can fly!
Fluttershy: Girls!
Rainbow Dash: You're barely able to just get off the ground!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Girls! Stop! Now, is that any way to talk to a friend?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, sorry.
Fluttershy: Don't you have more important things to do? Like prepare Rainbow for her big test?
Twilight Sparkle: I've tried everything, Fluttershy, but none of my study methods work for her.
Fluttershy: Well, no offense to your teaching methods, Twilight, but I think I may have a way to help Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, who's that, who's that?
Fluttershy: Celestia and Luna, back when they were happy.
Opalescence: [mewls]
[Tank's gyrocopter buzzing]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... now what?
Fluttershy: Gummy's an Earth pony, Winona's a unicorn, and Tank is a Pegasus.
Twilight Sparkle: They're the E.U.P., helping to protect the Princess.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how are you getting all this?
[crunch]
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
[various thuds and crunches]
Rainbow Dash: Stop, stop, stop! That was aw—
Pinkie Pie: Awesome! I give it three woohoo's! Woohoo, woohoo, woohoo! And an extra "woo" for good measure! Woo!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I give it a "whoa, whoa, what?" I'm totally confused and I just wanna go home... Whoa– hey!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa your woes there, woeful. Some ponies learn through theatrical presentation, but other ponies learn through musical intervention.
[Pinkie Pie]
[beatboxing, turntable scratching noises]
Well, back in ancient times, there were the Wonderbolts of old
A general named Firefly, amazing and so...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Bold!
[Pinkie Pie]
She brought them all together, spreading unity...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
In flight!
[Pinkie Pie]
Performing at their very best with wonder...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
And with might!
[Pinkie Pie]
There's Admiral Fairweather and the Colonel Purple...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Dart!
[Pinkie Pie]
Gave Wonderbolts a bit of steel along with...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Lots of heart!
[Pinkie Pie]
An admiral named Fairy Flight and general called...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Flash!
[Pinkie Pie]
Helped the 'bolts fly super high...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
With style and panache!
[Pinkie Pie]
Commander Easyglider was the real cream of...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
The crop!
[Pinkie Pie]
For with her wicked moves, the Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Soared to the top!
[Pinkie Pie]
Wonderbolts, yeah! Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Huh!
[Pinkie Pie]
Wonderbolts, yeah! Wonderbolts...
[Pinkie Pie, Goldengrape, and Dr. Hooves]
Unh!
[Pinkie Pie]
That is my rappin' history of the Wonderbolts!
Pinkie Pie: So, d'you get it?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, Pinkie Pie! [poorly imitating rap-style sounds] General This and Colonel That, they're the Wonderbolts, something that rhymes with that!
Pinkie Pie: That... was pretty terrible.
Rainbow Dash: What?! No... really? But I've gotta learn this stuff! Now!
Rarity: And I am just the pony to help!
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, you look ridiculous.
Rarity: I am going to ignore that comment out of my desire to help you.
Rainbow Dash: Good luck.
Rarity: Get ready, Rainbow Dash, for I am going to take you on an historical adventure in fashion! I am now modeling the rather unattractive, and frankly itchy, original Wonderbolts flying costume. Fortunately, thanks to the vision of Flair d'Mare, the Wonderbolts ensemble became more streamlined in a wonderfully breathable fabric. Of course, there were fashion hits... and misses. Just look at those dreadful bell-bottoms. What were ponies thinking?
Pinkie Pie: I dunno. I bet General Flash rocked these thangs!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Pinkie, you're real!
Pinkie Pie: Of course I'm real! I mean I'm not the real General Flash, the tenth leader of the Wonderbolts, but I, Pinkie, am really real.
Fluttershy: And I'm Admiral Fairy Flight, from the seventh squadron.
Twilight Sparkle: And of course you recognize Commander Easyglider.
Applejack: And I'm sportin' some sort of getup worn by Colonel Purple Dart.
Rainbow Dash: [panicked breathing]
Rarity: Just look at us.
Twilight Sparkle: Look at us.
Pinkie Pie: Look at me!
Rainbow Dash: It's too much for my eyes!
Applejack: Now, don't you fret, Rainbow. This fashion show nonsense wouldn't help me learn nothin', either.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Really? Well, what special study trick do you have, AJ?
Applejack: Who, me? Oh, I got nothing.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Applejack: Why, I could tell you every little thing there is to know about the history of apples, but I picked all that up over years in the field as a labor of love. How much time you got?
Rainbow Dash: Twelve hours.
Applejack: Oh, then you are up a creek.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I think we should just go back to old-fashioned studying.
Fluttershy: What about our play?
Rarity: Just look at these costumes! Surely something resonates with your inner Wonderbolt!
Applejack: And Granny Smith discovered the first granny smith in Fillydelphia, when she was just a filly!
[Pinkie Pie]
Commander Easyglider was the real cream of the crop—
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, stop rapping! That isn't gonna help Rainbow!
[Pinkie Pie]
Well, I suggest you put down your silly cards of flash,
For I know that they cannot help our good friend Rainbow Dash!
Main cast sans Rainbow Dash: [arguing]
Rainbow Dash: Enough! No rapping, no cards, no costumes, no play, and no apples! I am never gonna pass this test, ever! Just forget it!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Rainbow, I'm sorry about all that! We didn't mean to overwhelm you!
Rainbow Dash: It's okay. You were just trying to help. It's just too bad I'm too dumb to learn anything.
Twilight Sparkle: You are not dumb! You just learn differently!
Rainbow Dash: If by "differently" you mean "not at all", then you're totally right.
Twilight Sparkle: No, that's totally wrong.
Rainbow Dash: See? Wrong again.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know anypony that's read more Daring Do books than you.
Rainbow Dash: Well, that's not going to get me into the Wonderbolts.
Twilight Sparkle: And your knowledge of jokes and pranks is only rivaled by Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash: Great. My years of being a class clown prevented me from actually learning how to learn!
Twilight Sparkle: That's not what I meant. You're smart, creative, inventive, and– ugh! Hey! I know you're upset, but you don't need to—
[Rainbow Helicopter blades whirring]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa... I almost slammed into that!
Rainbow Dash: I know. You were jabbering on so much you didn't even notice.
Twilight Sparkle: But how did you notice? You were listening and talking to me the whole time!
Rainbow Dash: Ha-hah, you're such a rookie. An experienced flyer like me knows how to multitask.
Twilight Sparkle: While you fly?
Rainbow Dash: It's essential! Yes, I was paying attention to you, but was also scanning the sky and the ground for any problems.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Rainbow Dash: Flying's not just flying!
[sound of VHS rewinding]
Rainbow Dash: In order to stay safe in the sky, I've got to hear and see everything down to the littlest details. For instance, I saw Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo come out of Sugarcube Corner, and from the looks of it, they had carrot cupcakes with sprinkles. And I'm thinking Big Mac sold a huge order of apples to Filthy Rich, 'cause I heard him give a very hearty—
Big McIntosh and Rainbow Dash: "Eeyup".
Rainbow Dash: I always make note of everything when I fly. No biggie.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Oh, my gosh!
Rainbow Dash: What?
Twilight Sparkle: Gotta go!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't want to hang out with a loser like me either. [sad groan]
[thunder rumbles]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for meeting me, everypony.
Applejack: What is it, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: We have to help Rainbow Dash.
[telescope creaks]
Fluttershy: Yes, but how?
Rarity: We've tried every kind of studying. My way, your way...
Twilight Sparkle: But we haven't tried Rainbow Dash's way.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm, I'm intrigued.
[records scratching]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Listen up, ponies, here's the plan. [unintelligible whispering]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Rainbow. Wanna go for a fly?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Sure. Got nothing better to do. Didn't we just do this?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but like you said, I'm such a newbie, I need all the practice I can get.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll become a great flyer in no time. After all, you're good at everything.
Twilight Sparkle: So... what's going on?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, nothing. Just getting my dreams crushed.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... read any good books lately?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Just history books. I'd tell you what they were about, but my brain is as dry as a rock.
Twilight Sparkle: Speaking of rocks, did you know Pinkie Pie grew up on a rock farm? [short nervous laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Maybe I'll go work there as I have no other plans for the rest of my life.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, come on now, Rainbow. You can't give up on your dream!
Rainbow Dash: Seems my dream has given up on me. Maybe I'll learn to shine shoes, sell hats, dig ditches...
Twilight Sparkle: Or maybe you'll be a Wonderbolt.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, give it up! I have.
Twilight Sparkle: So, what do you remember about that flight?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Nothing important. Except after Luna was banished to the moon, Celestia needed protective forces, so Earth, unicorn, and Pegasi formed the E.U.P. Guard of the Protective Pony Platoons.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes...?
Rainbow Dash: [getting happier] And, at the celebration of the first Celestial year of peace, an elite flying squadron performed, headed by General Firefly, who later named the group the Wonderbolts!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh...?
Rainbow Dash: Commander Easyglider established flight choreography that is still used by the Wonderbolts today!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Rainbow Dash: I... I know the history! I know it all! But how in Equestria did that happen?
Twilight Sparkle: You learned it!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I got that! But how?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, on our first flight, I discovered that you catalog everything that happens all around you when you're flying, without even thinking about it! Don't you see?
[sound of VHS rewinding]
Twilight Sparkle: I made use of your special skills by enlisting everypony to help you learn the history of the Wonderbolts!
Fluttershy: I, Princess Celestia, banish you, Princess Luna, to the moon.
Rarity: Noooooo!
Apple Bloom: Earth!
Sweetie Belle: Unicorn!
Scootaloo: Pegasus!
Apple Bloom: E!
Sweetie Belle: U!
Scootaloo: P!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Fluttershy: Let us celebrate our first Celestial year of peace!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, let's party! I'm General Firefly! Gee, my costume is itchy and unattractive, but I'm gonna assemble an awesome flying team!
[cannon exploding]
Pinkie Pie: I'll call them... the Wonderbolts!
Rarity: Streamlined style by Flair d'Mare!
Pegasus Stallion #1: Admiral Fairweather!
"Downdraft": Colonel Purple Dart!
Sassaflash: Admiral Fairy Flight!
Pegasus Stallion #2: General Flash!
"High Note": Commander Easyglider!
Fluttershy: The history of the Wonderbolts!
Rainbow Dash: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Thank you! Thank you all so much!
Twilight Sparkle: You're welcome, but it all came from you. You learned without knowing you're learning. Your main focus is flying, but then your brain is also absorbing lots of other information! It's actually really brilliant!
Rainbow Dash: Ha, I always knew I was brilliant!
Main cast: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash finally learned the history of the Wonderbolts, but she's not the only pony that needed a lesson; I needed to learn something just as important. One way of learning isn't better than another. After all, every pony is unique and individual.
[papers rustling]
[stamping]
Rainbow Dash: Yeeeaah! Whoo!
[credits]

Trade Ya!

Pinkie Pie: [squeals] Yes! Best day ever! We're all going to the Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange! And not just going – we're accompanying a princess on an official royal duty!
Twilight Sparkle: Please, it's not that big of a deal. There always has to be a princess at the Exchange. Last year was Princess Cadance, this year it's me. It's just a formality. I'm sure none of the other ponies will even notice I'm here.
[crowd cheering]
Crowd Pony 1: Wow, look over there, a princess!
Crowd Pony 2: Oh, this is amazing!
Applejack: Could be wrong, but I think they might've noticed.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness!
Rarity: You said it. The Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange is simply divine. You can get anything you want here!
Applejack: If'n you got the goods to trade for it.
Spike: [grunts] Wha? Nooo! Thanks, Twilight. Whew. One ding, nick or dent, and this Power Ponies comic book wouldn't be in perfect mint condition anymore. And if you want to trade for a mint comic, you gotta have a mint comic.
[crowd murmuring]
Applejack: I guess a pony who's here on official princess business has to expect a little fussin'.
Twilight Sparkle: But all I'm supposed to do is settle disagreements over whether a trade is fair or not. And since the rule is that a trade is fair as long as both ponies get what they want, there's never been a disagreement. So there's really no reason for anypony to treat me as anything special. Hi! Can I help you? [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: There's a pony here who's got a signed first edition of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue, and I'm gonna get it! I've been able to get first editions of all of the Daring Do books, except this one! Nopony's ever put together a whole set, and I'm gonna be the first! If it hasn't been traded yet... It's the only one in all of Equestria!
Fluttershy: Oh no! I'd really hate to see you disappointed. I did want to trade this bear call I've got for a bird whistle, but getting that book seems so important to you, so if you need me to help you first...
Rainbow Dash: Normally I'd say I don't need any help, but you're right. This is really important. I've gotta get that book!
Applejack: Well, I'm off to take a gander at some of the vintage stalls.
Rarity: Did you say vintage? Why, old and rare items are so in style right now! I'm hoping to get a vintage item as well. I just hope I brought enough to trade.
Applejack: I know what you mean, Rarity. Hey! Why don't we pool our trade stashes?
Rarity: Pool?
Applejack: That way, if one of us finds somethin' real valuable she can't live without...
Rarity: [gasps] She'll definitely be able to get it! Who could say no to exchanging a single object for such a huge assortment of items? Oh, yes! That is absolutely brilliant! I'm so glad I have a friend like you, Applejack.
Applejack: I feel the same way.
Rarity: Then let's go shopping!
Pinkie Pie: Um, shouldn't your princessness be headed to the royal box seats?
Twilight Sparkle: I may be the princess on duty, but I don't think that means I have to sit up there all alone doing nothing. Ever since I became a princess, Celestia's been sending me more books to read than ever. The library's overflowing, so I figured while we're here, I might as well trade away some books I don't need anymore.
Pinkie Pie: Mm-hm!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] There it is! The first edition of Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue! It hasn't been traded yet! [to stallholder] Lucky for you, because I've brought my most valuable possession to trade for it: My lucky horseshoe!
"Teddie Safari": I don't want it.
Rainbow Dash: What?!
"Teddie Safari": It's just a rusty old horseshoe. That's not worth anything to me.
Fluttershy: But, but how is Rainbow Dash going to get the book she really wants?
"Teddie Safari": Well, she's not.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[thud]
"Teddie Safari": Unless... she can get me that.
[Orthros growling and barking]
Fluttershy: Aww, an Orthros! How cute!
"Teddie Safari": The pony running the ancient beasts stall doesn't want anything I've got. But if you can get me the Orthros, I'll trade you the book for it.
Rainbow Dash: You got it! [to Fluttershy] I don't know how, but somehow, we're gonna get that Orthros.
Rarity: Oh, Applejack, I am so glad I found you.
Applejack: Me too! You're not gonna believe it!
Applejack and Rarity: [simultaneously] I found a super valuable vintage item I just have to have, and all it's gonna cost is all our stuff! [beat] Uh-oh.
Rarity: So, where is this valuable vintage item you want to trade everything we have for?
Applejack: There!
Rarity: Where?
Applejack: Right there!
Rarity: But... that's a dented old pie tin.
Applejack: A dented vintage pie tin. The metal they used to fashion this one helps cook the pies up to five seconds faster! They don't make 'em like this anymore!
Rarity: I'm so glad you showed that to me, darling...
[clatter]
Rarity: ...because once you see what I've found, you won't want to waste our trade goods on that. [giggles] Just look at this gorgeous vintage brooch. It's one of a kind!
Applejack: It looks exactly like the one you're already wearin'.
Rarity: Well, yes, they may look the same, but I know it's older, and that's what makes it so much more divine!
Applejack: But that doesn't make a lick of sense! Why, I'd wager if I switched them up, you wouldn't even know the difference!
Rarity: Oh, don't be silly, of course I would!
[brooches clinking]
Applejack: So which is the vintage one?
Rarity: That one, of course.
Applejack: Hah, you're bluffin'!
Rarity: Am I? How can you tell?
Applejack: Well... because... [groans] I can't, 'cause the one you wanna waste our whole stash on is exactly the same as the one you already got! There's no way anypony would notice the difference!
Rarity: I'd say it's a lot more likely they'd notice that than some dented tin that cooked a pie a whole two seconds faster!
Applejack: It's five seconds faster!
Rarity: [growls]
Applejack: [growls]
[Orthros growling]
Rainbow Dash: [gulps]
[Orthros barking]
Fluttershy: Yes, such a good two-headed boy. Yes, you are!
[various creature noises]
Cratus: Stop that! C'mon, don't you start now, too!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, I can see you're busy, so I'll give it to you straight. I need to trade this horseshoe for... that.
Cratus: Nope.
Rainbow Dash: Aww.
Cratus: Down, boy! Watch out for the lamp!
[crash]
Cratus: Well, I could use another lamp.
Rainbow Dash: A whole stand filled with Discord-shaped lamps? Seriously?!
Fluttershy: They really do have everything at the Traders Exchange.
Rainbow Dash: Will you trade a lamp for my horseshoe so I can trade it for an Orthros and get my book?
Stellar Eclipse: No. But I'd trade it for an antique chicken.
Rainbow Dash: Great! [beat] What's an antique chicken?
"Match Game": Oh, I got all kinds of antique chicken statues. I got your blue hens, speckled grays, your-
Rainbow Dash: Okay, cool! So will you trade one for a horseshoe so I can trade it for a lamp and then trade it for an Orthros so I can get my book?
"Match Game": Well, lemme think... Uh, no.
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: Aww.
"Match Game": But I'd gladly trade one of my chickens for a crystal chalice.
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Hold on a sec. [inhales] We need a crystal chalice to trade for a chicken to trade for a lamp to trade for an Orthros. So what are you willing to trade for it? I'm guessing it's gotta be some crazy thing way across the Exchange.
"Amethyst Gleam": Actually, I could use a slightly rusty old horseshoe.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, like where am I gonna find– wait, I've got one of those! Now that we've got the chalice, this is gonna be a cinch!
Fluttershy: Do you really think so?
Rainbow Dash: All we gotta do is bring this thing to the chicken stand and we are–
[crystal fracturing]
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: You want me to trade all my books for a broken pen? Alright, fine. You got yourself a–
Pinkie Pie: Stop! What are you doing?!
Twilight Sparkle: I was trying to get rid of all the books I don't need anymore.
Pinkie Pie: For that? Do you reaaaaally want that?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, not really, but I'm running out of library space, so–
Pinkie Pie: Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! I can't believe that almost happened! But luckily, it didn't happen, thanks to me.
Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about?
Pinkie Pie: According to the rules of the Exchange, a trade is only fair if both ponies end up with something they want. You can't break the rules! Did anypony see you do it? I don't think anypony saw! [to "Chirpy Hooves"] But you're not gonna say anything, are you?! Haha, I'm just kidding! Or am I?! Sometimes I can't even tell! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Y'know, if you want to go check out the rest of the Exchange and trade whatever you brought...
Pinkie Pie: Nope, I just came to pony-watch! I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you make a mistake like that again! Hey, everypony, step right up! Do not walk! Gallop over here for your chance to trade for authentic, one-of-a-kind, official princess merchandise!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Well, that took forever.
Fluttershy: I just hope it looks okay.
"Match Game": This is perfect!
[smashing crystal]
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
"Match Game": Perfect for the broken chalice mosaic I'm making! Alright, so what kind of antique chicken do you want? I got speckled, brown, gray... [continues under]
Rainbow Dash: Oh no! The pony we're supposed to trade the chicken statue to didn't tell us what kind he wanted! Okay, look. I'm fast. I'll fly over to the lamp stand and find out what kind of chicken he wants. Just don't let anypony trade for any chicken while I'm gone, okay?
Fluttershy: Um, well, okay! Um, I can do that, I think. [to Crusoe Palm] Um, well, maybe you shouldn't get one of those? You know... unless you really want to...
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Beat it! You go. I'll stay here.
Rarity: Well, since we can't both get what we want, I will be the better friend. You take our trade goods and get what you want.
Applejack: I'm an amazin' friend! So even though it's for somethin' that don't seem valuable at all, you take our stash.
Rarity: How dare you let me get what I want. What kind of friend do you think I am? You are going to get what you want!
Applejack: No, you are!
Rarity: No, you are!
Rainbow Dash: Hello! [tapping] We got the kind of chicken you asked for! Hello? Where's the pony running this joint? 'On break'?! [groans]
Pinkie Pie: These books made Twilight the princess she is. Before that, she was nothing – a big, fat zero!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey!
Pinkie Pie: Then she read these books, and voila! Princess! So who wants to start the bidding?
[crowd chattering excitedly; 'Me', etc.]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, just a moment, please! Pinkie, I appreciate your help and all, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. Nopony should trade for my books just because I'm a princess. I'm not better than anypony else!
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] I know you're not better than everypony! Just leave this to me! [to crowd, normal] Did I mention that Princess Twilight got these books from Princess Celestia?
Fleur De Verre: Whoa, wait, you don't mean–
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that's right! Double princess!
[crowd chattering excitedly]
Fluttershy: There he is!
Rainbow Dash: Look, I know it's your break and all, but you've gotta open your stand so we can trade you for a lamp!
Stellar Eclipse: [stomach rumbles] Sorry, girls. Been trading all day. My belly's tellin' me it's time to eat an oatburger.
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, please?
Fluttershy: Pretty pretty please?
Stellar Eclipse: Sorry, belly says 'no'.
Rainbow Dash: But the Exchange ends at sundown!
Stellar Eclipse: No!
Rainbow Dash: I've got an idea. Next! Next! Next! Next! Next!
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: [straining]
Rainbow Dash: We're home free!
[thump]
Rainbow Dash: As long as this thing doesn't drown us in slobber.
Fluttershy: Oh, he's just an affectionate little two-headed fellow. Aren't you, little boy?
Applejack: No, I insist. You go fetch what you want, 'cause that's the kind of tried and true friend I am.
Rarity: Well! I am way too generous to let you out-friend me like that!
Rainbow Dash: We gotta hurry! [gasps] We're never gonna get to the Daring Do stand through this crowd in time!
Fluttershy: [blows bear call]
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Fluttershy: My bear call!
Rainbow Dash: We gotta go!
Fluttershy: Of course. It's just a bear call. There's nothing I could have traded it for that's more valuable to me than you.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Okay, the Exchange is almost over, but we did it. We traded a crystal chalice for an antique chicken...
Fluttershy: And the chicken for a lamp...
Rainbow Dash: And the lamp for an Orthros, just like you asked.
[Orthros barks]
Rainbow Dash: So there you go! Now where's my book?
"Teddie Safari": Yeah, you know, the thing is... I don't really want an Orthros anymore.
Fluttershy: But... what do we do now?
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[thump]
[Orthros panting]
Fluttershy: Oh goodness, oh goodness!
Rainbow Dash: Argh! Ugh...
Fluttershy: Good boy!
Rainbow Dash: Hey! You said you wanted an Orthros!
"Teddie Safari": I've been watching that thing over at the ancient beast booth! It's crazy! I don't want one in my house!
[Orthros growls]
Fluttershy: There, there, that's a good Orthros. You just have to know how to train them. With a little patient training and a big slobber mop, they can be a wonderful household pet.
"Teddie Safari": [laughing] All right, all right. I'll trade you.
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
"Teddie Safari": If she comes and stays with us in Manehattan until it's trained!
Fluttershy: Gosh, training an Orthros takes a long time. I'll probably be gone from Ponyville for... I don't even know how many moons! But... if that is what you really want...
"Teddie Safari": So we got a fair deal?
Rainbow Dash: Of course it's a deal! Yeah-eah, whoo! [squeals] I did it, I did it! Fluttershy, can you believe it? Oh no. what did I do?!
Pinkie Pie: Who's got something valuable enough to trade for Princess Twilight's princess books that she got from Princess Celestia? Did I say "princess"?
Minuette: Over here, over here!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, come on! These are the books the princess would sit up with all night, with nothing to read by but the light of her own horn! Ooh, now that looks fun– but not fun enough! These are the books that made Twilight the princess she is! So who's got what it takes to trade for them?
Crowd Pony 3: Well, when you put it like that...
Crowd: [various disappointed noises]
Pinkie Pie: Wait, stop, come back! Uh, these books aren't that great... [giggles nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, yes, they are.
Pinkie Pie: But I thought you wanted to get rid of them!
Twilight Sparkle: None of those ponies had anything valuable enough to trade for my books. Not because these books belong to a princess, but because they helped make me who I am. Just like you said. This was the one I was so absorbed in the day Spike decided he owed Applejack a life debt. And this one reminds me of the day I got it – which was the day I met you. I may not ever need to read these again, but that doesn't mean they don't have value. I realize that now, thanks to you, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: I told you I'd take care of everything!
Rainbow Dash: Twilight! I need you to say a trade wasn't fair! Fast!
Twilight Sparkle: I've heard what you both have to say, and I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, but my hooves are tied. You said it was a fair trade.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I said it, but I was wrong! I did want that book, a lot. I said I wanted it more than anything in all of Equestria. But there's no thing that's worth as much to me as a friend. I might have forgotten that for a little bit, but it's true. Which means there's no way this trade can be fair!
"Teddie Safari": Oh, come on, that's... the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Okay, the trade's off!
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: And with that, I declare this trial, and this year's Rainbow Falls Traders Exchange, over! [bangs gavel]
Pinkie Pie: [in distance] Woo-hoo!
Rarity: I know it's not the pie tin you were after, but I hope you like it. It's the rustiest piece of junk I could get.
Applejack: Well, I took my half of our stash and got you this!
Rarity: Ohhh!
Applejack: And I know you're gonna love it, 'cause you already have a bunch of ones that look exactly the same sittin' in the drawer doin' nothin'. So that should settle it once and for all which of us is the better friend.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! You both gave up what you wanted to get something for each other! That's the coolest thing a friend can do. Trust me, I know.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, where's your double-doggie?
Rainbow Dash: I traded it for something way better.
Fluttershy: [blows bird whistle]
Constance: [twittering]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, what do you know? My copy of Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue. It's just a beat up old paperback, not a one-of-a-kind first edition...
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Even better, because I can read this one with all my friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
[credits]

Inspiration Manifestation

Pinkie Pie: Hear ye, hear ye! The Ponyville Foal and Filly Fair is almost ready to begin!
[crowd chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Whee, ha-ha, whoa! [laughing]
[ding]
Rarity: Just because the attendees are young, doesn't mean they don't deserve my very best creative work. Why, this puppet theater is going to be the talk of the Foal and Filly Fair!
Spike: How could it not be? [dreamily] You're the one making it...
Rarity: Oh! But I couldn't have done it without the help of one of my dearest and most supportive friends! You are my favorite dragon.
Spike: Your favorite dragon? Aw, gee...
Rarity: The hours have been long, the work taxing beyond compare, but it will all be worth it when we hear those three little words!
Claude: This is awful!
Rarity: Awful?!
Claude: And completely unusable. Hmmm... Ugh! It doesn't travel! Oh, there's no room for my puppets! It appears I won't have a traveling puppet theater to use after all.
Spike: I don't know what that guy was talking about. This thing is perfect!
[theme song]
Rarity: This is terrible, simply terrible! [whines]
Spike: So that puppeteer didn't like your exquisitely crafted best puppet theater in the history of puppet theaters puppet theater. [beat] You can just contribute something else to the Foal and Filly Fair.
Rarity: [sobbing] I suppose I could... Oh, forget it, Spike. I'd never have something finished in time! [crying] [nomming] I wanted to leave my creative mark on the fair, and I failed – [chewing] miserably! And that makes me miserable! [crying]
Spike: Argh, there's gotta be something in here somewhere.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: It's not "who", it's "what"! Like, what can help Rarity make something in time for the fair? She really, really, really wants to make a creative contribution. She said I'm her favorite dragon, so it's up to me to come through for her in her time of need. There's gotta be some kind of spell that'll do the trick.
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Come on, help a dragon out!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Ugh! It's not for me! It's for Rarity! The one who made you that bow tie you like so much?
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Okay, I get it.
[gears cranking]
Spike: You don't think we should use magic– What is that?
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: [blows fire]
Owlowiscious: [hoots nervously]
[bats chittering]
Owlowiscious: [hoots nervously]
Spike: What? If I wasn't supposed to have it, it wouldn't be so easy to get. And it's covered in spikes, like me.
Owlowiscious: [hoots nervously]
Spike: "Inspiration Manifestation: Instantly brings ideas to life."
Owlowiscious: [hoots nervously]
Spike: I'm likin' the looks of this one. Hmmm.
Rarity: [crying] [nomming]
Spike: Rarity!
Rarity: Leave me be! Can't you see how distraught, disappointed, and downtrodden I still am?
Spike: But I brought you something.
Rarity: Unless it's another carton of vanilla oat swirl or word that the festival has been cancelled, I don't think I'm interested.
Spike: It's magic!
Rarity: Spike, precious scales, I already have magic.
Spike: But not the kind that can help you create something in time for the fair. This can!
Rarity: I suppose it's worth a try. "From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action. Hold close this book and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction, projecting forth whatever beauty you see. Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free."
Spike: Did it work?
Rarity: Hm, there's only one way to find out.
[magic zap]
Rarity: [gasps] Oh, my! I thought about making this a much more beautiful spell book, and I have!
[magic zap]
Rarity: Dear, dear Spike! Here I was about to give up, but like a true friend, you've come through with flying colors! Come! We must find the puppeteer right away, so that I may provide him with the most fabulous theater he's ever imagined! Or, should I say, that I've ever imagined.
Claude: Ah, Miss Rarity, come to see the show, I presume? You'll notice I had to make do in light of your recent failure to produce a functioning theater.
Rarity: Oh, but I think you'll find the new one I've created will be much more to your liking!
Claude: [mumbling] Ah, well, it is gorgeous, but that was never the problem now, was it? Oh, well, this one does seem to travel. Plenty of room for my puppets... I say, Miss Rarity, I don't know how you managed to do so in such a short amount of time, but you seem to have redeemed yourself. How did you manage to do so in such a short time?
Spike: As a matter of fact, she used a s–
Rarity: A good designer never reveals her tricks.
Rarity: Thank you again, Spike, for being such a dear friend and finding this book for me!
Spike: My pleasure. Well, guess I can return it now that the fair's over.
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course. I've made my creative contribution as I'd hoped to do, and all is well! Uh, then again, perhaps I should keep it just a skotch longer... You don't mind, do you, Spike?
Spike: Of course not! See you tomorrow! [to Owlowiscious] What? She'll keep it for a few more hours, no harm in that.
[distant magic zaps]
Spike: [whistling]
[knocking]
Spike: Rarity?
[muffled magic zaps]
Spike: Whoa!
Rarity: Spike, I'm so glad you're here!
Spike: Whoa! Are... you okay?
Rarity: Oh, I've never been better! This book you've given me is amazing! Why, I, I, I, I've been up all night just creating and creating and creating and creating! I've completed my fall line for the next fifteen seasons!
Spike: Wow!
Rarity: But then I started thinking, 'why stop there'? Oh, Spike, I've always thought this town of ours could use a few beautifying upgrades, and with this book, I can make that happen with such ease! You will support me in this endeavor by letting me keep the book just a little longer?
Spike: Of course I will!
Owlowiscious: [hoots nervously]
Spike: [panting] What do you say we get a little breakfast before we get started?
Rarity: No time for breakfast! I want to get started right away!
Spike: Technically, we do have time, because with that book held close, you can just make things– Rarity?
Rarity: Now, this is exactly what I'm talking about! Why, that cart hasn't an ounce of stylish flair!
[magic zap]
Granny Smith: My eyes playin' tricks on me again?
Applejack: What in rhubarb pie just happened?
Rarity: Isn't it gorgeous?
Spike: It's amazing! You should ask Applejack if she wants you to give all the Apple family carts a makeover!
Rarity: Oh, I don't really think I need to ask permission, darling. Everyone loves surprises, especially when they're gorgeous ones!
Spike: You're right! Everypony does love surprises.
Rarity: [hushed] We shouldn't even tell anypony that it's me who's behind all the fabulous changes I'll be making! [giggles] Won't that be a fun little secret for the three of us to share?
Spike: The... three of us?
Rarity: You, me, and the book, of course. My marvelous, marvelous book!
Spike: ...Of course.
Rarity: Promise me you won't say a word to anypony?
Spike: [muffled] You got it!
Rarity: I knew I could count on you, Spike. And I also know just what I want to do next!
Rainbow Dash: [sounds of exertion] Take that! And that! [grunting] [laughs]
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: What in the... Get... it... off... me! [grunts]
Rarity: I've always thought Rainbow Dash could use a little more glamor, and now look at her! Cloud-busting with style! [short laugh] Moving on!
Spike: She'll be fine. It's just a dress. Uh, wait for your favorite dragon!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: [exhales]
[birdseed pouring]
Fluttershy: La la-la la-la la-la la la... There you go, Mr. Robin!
Mr. Robin: [chirping]
Fluttershy: Don't you look so content in your little house–
[magic zap]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, my goodness!
Mr. Robin: [distressed chirping]
Fluttershy: You're lost? No, not that way, that looks like it's the door to a... bedroom. Try that one over there. No, no, that leads to a...
[door slams]
Fluttershy: Shoe closet? Oh, dear. Maybe try the staircase? Oh, no-no-no, the other staircase.
Rarity: Isn't it gorgeous?
Spike: It's probably the most beautiful birdhouse ever created.
Rarity: Go on.
Spike: I'm just not sure how the bird feels about it.
Rarity: Pfft, what does a bird know about architectural design? What matters is what you think, Spike. And you love it. Don't you?
Spike: Of course I do. It's so... [beat] Rarity.
Rarity: It is, isn't it? Ooh!
[thunk]
[foals laughing]
Rarity: Oh, adorable! But it could use a touch of class, don't you think?
Spike: Oh yeah, definitely.
[magic zaps]
Rarity: This party doesn't even seem to have a proper theme. Let's do something about that, shall we?
Spike: You've already made things look really really great. Maybe you should stop while you're ahead?
Rarity: You're right, Spike! There's so much to do elsewhere!
Spike: Right! Elsewhere...
Rarity: Just one more little thing before we go...
[abrupt music change]
Rarity: Why, this party is certain to make the society page now. Won't Pinkie Pie be pleased?
Pinkie Pie: Happy, happy day to– huh?!
Rarity: I am simply buzzing with ideas. Simply buzzing!
Spike: That's great! But, uh, you've been at this for a while now. How 'bout you take a break? Give that brilliant mind of yours a rest?
Rarity: Don't be silly! I'm not going to stop now! Why, I won't stop until every inch of Ponyville has benefited from my creative vision! Starting with you, Spike!
[magic zap]
Rarity: You look fabulous!
Spike: All because of you, heh...
Rarity: Anything for my favorite dragon and most supportive friend. Come, there's so much more to do!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Oh no, not you too!
Spike: What do you mean, not me too?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Judging by that outfit, I thought for sure you'd–
Spike: What? This? I just wanted to try out a new look.
[thud]
Spike: You like?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... Well, in that case, have you seen anypony suspicious around?
Spike: Uh, nope.
Mayor Mare: Princess Twilight, the gazebo has been turned into solid crystal, and two ponies are now trapped inside its walls!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: No! I made a promise to Rarity to keep this to myself!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: [sighs] But you're right, Owlowiscious. I have to tell. And once I do, I can forget Rarity thinking of me as her most supportive friend... I can forget Rarity thinking of me as a friend at all...
Spike: [sighs] I can't do it. I promised I'd keep all of this between the three of us!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Spike: Of course it's weird she meant her, me and the spell book. But– The spellbook! Of course! If I can get it away from her, I bet she won't be able to use its magic anymore! Oh, come on, it's the perfect plan! I... just have to figure out which way she went.
Stallion: I can't see!
[ponies complaining]
Spike: I'm thinking she's headed this way.
Rarity: [giggling] What do you think you're doing?!
Spike: Uh, me? I was just, uh... basking in your creative radiance.
Rarity: Oh, Spike, you do say the nicest things.
Spike: Thanks.
Rarity: Now, where was I? Oh yes! Gold-plated rooftops for everypony!
Owlowiscious: [hooting]
Rarity: Spike!
Spike: [chomp]
Rarity: I have just had the most marvelous idea!
Spike: [gulps] [gasps] Of course you have. You're Rarity.
Rarity: My work here in Ponyville is nearly complete. Don't you think it's time the rest of Equestria benefited from my creative vision?
Spike: Absolutely!
Rarity: Ooh, I'm thinking we go by chariot! Or, as everyone will soon be calling them, "Rariot"! [laughs]
Spike: Oh, yeah, we should definitely go by–
[magic zap]
Spike: Huh?! How... how did you... do that?
Rarity: Why, whatever do you mean?
Spike: The book! It's– I mean– you don't– it's gone! The book is gone!
Rarity: Gone? Why, it's right there. [gasps] I need my book, Spike! What have you done with my book?! [growls]
Spike: Why would I do anything with your book? We're friends! It... it was probably the owl!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Rarity: But, wait... I don't seem to need it anymore, do I? Yes... yes...! I can feel its magic flowing within me now! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!
Spike: [quietly] I'm so scared.
Rarity: Oh, the places we'll go, Spike! Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Canterlot! And there you'll be by my side, just as you've always been here in Ponyville, your constant praise and adoration driving me to even greater heights, until there isn't an inch of Equestria that hasn't been utterly transformed by my creative genius!
Spike: ...No.
Rarity: What did you say?
Spike: I said 'no'. You've been changing things, but you haven't been making them better. I should have told you the truth at the very beginning, but I didn't because I was trying to be a supportive friend. [sighs] But instead, I let you become something awful.
Rarity: Awful?
[magic whirling]
Rarity: Ugh... what happened?
Spike: Rarity! You're okay?
Rarity: I... I think so... though by the looks of it, something quite terrifying has happened to Ponyville.
Spike: You happened.
Rarity: Me?
Spike: The last part of the spell!
Rarity: [flashback] Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free.
Spike: The spell took over you, and you wanted to change everything in Equestria. I was afraid to tell you how I really felt about it, but then I... I told you the truth.
Rarity: Dearest Spike, you should never be afraid to tell me the truth. We're friends, remember?
Spike: Today I learned how important it is to be honest with your friends when they're doing something that you don't think is right. A true friend knows that you're speaking up because you care about them.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike. Never, ever, ever, ever take another book out of the library at the castle without asking! Princess Cadance and Princess Luna have much better things to do than help me clean up Ponyville! Do you have any idea how hard it was to reverse that much dark magic?!
Spike: [chuckles] You don't look so good.
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
Spike: What? I'm just being honest! It's what good friends do!
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
[credits]

Equestria Games

Rainbow Dash: This just got real!
[ponies chattering]
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [cheering]
[creaking]
Rainbow Dash: Listen up, gang! We're almost there, so I've got a few things to say. First off, who here besides me thinks this is the best Equestria Games delegation in Ponyville history?
[ponies cheering]
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: And no matter what your sport is, we gotta give it our best, because we've all got a genuine shot at Ponyville gold!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: ...With the possible exception of Bulk Biceps, Fluttershy, and me. I mean, we're good and all, but we're up against the Wonderbolts in the aerial relay, so gold's kind of a stretch. Let's not kid ourselves.
Scootaloo: Don't feel bad, Rainbow Dash! We have absolutely no shot at getting gold either!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, that's because you're carrying the flag for Ponyville in the opening ceremony. There are no winners.
Scootaloo: Winners or not, we still have the chance to be awesome!
Rainbow Dash: That's the spirit! You hear that, everypony? Winners or not, we all still have the chance to be awesome!
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: But, uh, let's still try to win lots and lots of stuff too, 'kay?
[theme song]
[steam hissing]
[bell ringing]
Spike: [straining] It's all in there, gang! Leave it to Spike, champion gear-carrier for all your gear-carrying needs.
Apple Bloom: And the Ponyville flag? You sure? And what about the flagpole?
Spike: In with the portable ramp! Whoa!
[thud]
Scootaloo: Give it a rest, Apple Bloom.
Spike: Aw, she's just nervous, that's all. Perfectly understandable. Whenever I'm afraid I'll forget something or start to panic, I have a simple trick. I count to ten, and by the time I'm done, I've calmed myself enough to get the job done right every time. Easy-peasy, cider-squeezy!
[hooves rumbling]
Spike: Hey! Put me down!
Scootaloo: What's going on?!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Are you all right?
Crystal Guard: A thousand pardons, O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious.
Spike: Huh? Who the what now?
Princess Cadance: [to guards] Thanks for bringing Spike to us. [to Spike] It's okay, Spike. We'll have our hoofponies go back for your bags.
Spike: Uh, can they hang back a second and tell me what's going on first?
Spike: [eating] Mm! So the ponies here think I'm some kind of hero, huh? [to Fleur De Verre] More of the green ones, please? I like the green ones.
Twilight Sparkle: Last time you were here, you got the Crystal Heart to Princess Cadance in time to save this entire empire from destruction!
Princess Cadance: You are known throughout my empire as "Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious".
Twilight Sparkle: Isn't that awesome? You're a big shot here, Spike! See that? That's you!
Spike: [a la Barbra Streisand] Hello, gawgeous!
Princess Cadance: This is why we all hope you do us the honor of lighting the torch at the opening ceremony. You'd be the very first dragon in the history of the Equestria Games to do so.
Spike: Of course I'll do it! And – bonus – I can do it with my fire breath! [breathes fire] [laughs nervously]
[crowd cheering]
Shining Armor: Places for the procession, everypony! Two minutes!
Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Ms. Harshwhinny: And you're quite certain you also understand exactly what you're supposed to do?
Spike: I stand where you tell me until you give me the signal, and then I walk over and light the torch.
Ms. Harshwhinny: Mm. Couldn't be simpler.
[crowd cheering]
Spike: [gasps]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Mr. the Dragon, are you coming? [to herself] Honestly. [out loud] Would somepony help him walk?
Shining Armor: Now, please welcome the delegation from Ponyville!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Ponyville forever! Yay!
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [cheering]
Ms. Harshwhinny: [stomps hoof] This is the signal! [stomps hoof] I'm giving you the signal now! Mr. the Dragon!
Spike: [inhales] [coughing] Come on, Spike! Calm yourself! Count to ten. One... two... three... thousand... fourteen thousand... Twenty thousand...! Thirty thousand...!
Princess Cadance: What's wrong?
Spike: [inhales] [weak breath] Tell me this isn't happening...
Twilight Sparkle: Equestria, we have a problem.
Spike: [inhales] [coughing]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Mr. the Dragon! Would you light the torch already?!
Spike: I don't know what it is, but I just don't have the stuff today! Did you bring a match?
Ms. Harshwhinny: You're a fire-breathing dragon.
Spike: [coughs] [raspy] Then some cough drops, maybe?
Ms. Harshwhinny: [growls]
Spike: Nevermind. I'll keep trying. [exhales]
Princess Cadance: Somepony go down and help him!
Spike: [clicking] Light! Light! [straining]
[flames whooshing]
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Phew!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Oh! How did you do that?
Spike: I'm... not sure.
Ms. Harshwhinny: Oh, well. Better late than never.
Shining Armor: Let the games begin!
[crowd cheering]
Rarity: Oh! There are our little superstars! You were fabulous!
Applejack: Made me sit up proud like a cornstalk in August!
Rainbow Dash: Ya done good, squirt!
Twilight Sparkle: You three really were wonderful. But does anypony know what was going on with Spike?
Applejack: He sure seemed to be having a tough time of it out there.
Rarity: He put things right in time, though.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, it was me. I didn't want him to be embarrassed, so I cast a secret spell to light it for him.
Rarity: Oh, dear. Have you told him?
Twilight Sparkle: No, but he might have figured it out on his own.
Applejack: You gotta tell him, just in case.
Twilight Sparkle: I know. I'm just afraid of how he'll take it. I know what pride he takes in a job well done.
Rainbow Dash: Psst, here he comes now! Act casual! [to Spike] 'Sup?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Is everything okay?
Spike: I guess. I don't know. The weirdest thing happened down there.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, about that. I–
Spike: I mean, there I was, trying to light the torch, with all of Equestria watching, and feeling like the hugest failure ever, and then the thing just lit! It was amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, phew! I was afraid you'd be upset.
Spike: Upset? Are you kidding? Why would I be upset to discover I can light fire... with my mind?
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Bright Smile: Look, look, it's the Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious!
Elbow Grease: Can we get your autograph?
Spike: Sure!
[scribbling]
Bright Smile: How you saved our Empire last time you were here was really amazing!
Spike: Aw. You know what else is amazing? Watch this! [beat] [straining] Don't worry. Once it bursts into flames through brainpower, I'll sign another one for ya. Promise. [straining]
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Spike, may I have a word with you a moment?
Spike: Hey, you'd better be careful with that! It might burst into flames later! Delayed reaction. Hey, Twi, what is it? Hold on, hold on, give me a second... If I can set fire to stuff with my mind, mind-reading must be just around the corner! And I predict that you are about to ask me... to set fire to something with my mind!
Twilight Sparkle: No, because you can't!
Spike: Oh, really? So how do you explain what happened down there in front of thousands and thousands of–
Twilight Sparkle: I did it, Spike. I cast a spell to do it for you.
Spike: In front of... thousands and... thousands...?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Spike. I just couldn't stand to see you stuck like that! You understand, don't you?
Spike: I... I... I need to be alone right now.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?
"Neighls Bohr": O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious, can I get your autograph?
Spike: Sorry. You should probably ask somebody special instead.
[crowd cheering]
Shining Armor: Our next event... [amplified, some distance away] ...the aerial relay!
Applejack: That's Dash and Fluttershy!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! We can't be late for that!
Security Guard: Miss? Step right over here. Unicorns will no longer be admitted without a disabling spell, to prevent cheating. And make sure you don't even try casting a spell, or we'll know it.
Rarity: Hmph!
Pinkie Pie: [chewing] [swallows] If Ponyville medals here, we'll have eight medals so far, putting us tied for the lead with Cloudsdale! Unless Cloudsdale medals here too...!
Spike: Ms. Harshwhinny? I know you're really busy, but...
Ms. Harshwhinny: What is it?
Spike: Maybe there's something else I can do for the Games. Y'know, something really worthy of the Crystal Empire's admiration?
Ms. Harshwhinny: What are you talking about? You lit the torch for the whole thing!
Spike: Uh, well, actually, that wasn't really–
Ms. Harshwhinny: That wasn't worthy enough for you? Ugh, for pony's sake! Next thing you know, you'll be asking to put on a rock concert. [snorts] [to herself] Celebrities...
Spike: Wait, that's it!
[crowd cheering]
Applejack: We got silver!
Shining Armor: Congratulations to all our medalists. And now, the anthem of–
Spike: And I shall do the honor of singing!
[crowd cheers]
Shining Armor: [to Spike, hushed] Spike, what are you doing?!
Spike: You know how they always just play the music? [amplified] Well, I know all the words to our anthem, and will sing them for you now, loud and proud, to the enjoyment of all!
[crowd cheers]
Shining Armor: And now... um... the Cloudsdale anthem, as sung by... Spike!
Spike: Wait! The Cloudsdale anthem?
Shining Armor: [hushed] They only play the anthem for the winner, Spike! The Wonderbolts are from Cloudsdale!
Spike: But... But I don't know the words to the Cloudsdale anthem! I've never even heard it!
Crystal Pony in Crowd: Sing for us, O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious!
Spike: [clears throat] [singing out of time and rhythm]
Oh, we're the Wonderbolts and we're super fast
And we're from Cloudsdale which-is-a-part-of-Equestria  [laughs nervously]
That we like best and we're proud and we're fast and we like it because it really has nice trees
Yeah, we love the town because it's so cool and, and we like to fly really fast and everything like that
[sighs] I kinda wish this was over 'cause it is... n't... yet... over... now.
Oh, we're the Wonderbolts and we're super fast and we're cloud– from Cloudsdale
We like it there 'cause it's really nice and the trees are cool and I hope it is over now
And... it keeps going on, la la la
And we really love the town
So I wish that this... song... was over now.
Over... now.
Over... now.
[silence from crowd]
[baby crying]
Pinkie Pie: Nailed it!
Apple Bloom: Spike, you comin'?
Spike: Nah, I got this stuff to pack up.
Scootaloo: But you've been moping in here for almost the entire Games.
Sweetie Belle: And tonight's the closing ceremony!
Spike: Which means we leave tomorrow. Ergo, the packing.
[crowd cheering]
Shining Armor: And so the Games conclude as they always do, with the ice archery finals! Ice archers, take your places!
[crowd cheering]
Applejack: Too bad Ponyville doesn't have any ice archers competin'. We don't have anyone to root for.
Pinkie Pie: That's okay. Ponyville has thirty seven medals, and Cloudsdale thirty six, so looks like we'll be medal champs of the Games anyway! Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: But Cloudsdale has two ice archery finalists down there now! If they both place, Cloudsale wins the medal count!
Pinkie Pie: So you're saying that it all comes down to this one event?!
Applejack: Pretty much.
Pinkie Pie: Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh! Twilight! Come take this extra seat next to me and freak out over the medal count! I'll show you how: Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I was looking for Spike. Have you seen him?
Apple Bloom: He wouldn't come.
Sweetie Belle: We tried to talk him into it...
Scootaloo: ...but he wouldn't listen!
Pinkie Pie: You can have his extra seat, though. Uh... Twi?
Spike: [exhales]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?
Spike: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: You here?
Spike: [chokes] Uh, yeah! I'm super-busy! Look at all this packing left to do, heh. Crazy, right?
Twilight Sparkle: No more hiding out. You're coming with me. Now.
Spike: Okay, fine. I'll come. Can I at least wear these?
[arrows being fired]
Rainbow Dash: Those aren't your average arrows. They freeze whatever part of the target they hit. Whoever encases their entire target in ice first wins. Keep your eye on number seven from Cloudsdale – he's the favorite.
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, Spike, I don't see why you're being so hard on yourself.
Spike: I let everypony down. Twice. You never let anypony down, so you don't have any idea what that's like.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding? I've totally let ponies down. That's not the point. The torch got lit, the aerial relay teams got their medals – no harm, no foul.
Spike: Can we at least watch from inside there? I'm not sure I'm ready to face crowds in the stands just yet.
[arrows being fired]
[ice crackling]
[crowd gasping, screaming]
Shining Armor: No!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Steer it towards the field, away from the crowds!
Shining Armor: Somepony cut the disabling spell!
Security Guard 2: There isn't time!
Spike: Dash, Fluttershy! Move!
[fire whooshing]
[steam hissing]
[rain pouring]
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: That was awesome!
Rest of main cast: [various exclamations of praise]
Princess Cadance: I just wanted to thank you personally for saving those ponies and the Games, O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious. You must be very proud.
Spike: I guess.
All present characters bar Spike: You guess?!
Spike: I just saw what needed to be done and reacted. Just so happens I can breathe fire and... if any of you could do that, you'd have done the same.
Applejack: Forgive me for bein' blunt, Spike, but you're not makin' a lick of sense.
Spike: Well, it's just how I feel.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait a second. I think I get it. You keep saying you let everypony down, but we all keep saying you didn't. You know who's disappointed in you, Spike? You. And only you can make it right with you again. What would that take, Spike?
Spike: Meh, I don't know. Can you turn back time? 'Cause I'd sure like a do-over on that opening ceremony.
Princess Cadance: We can't turn back time, but, would you do me the great honor of lighting fireworks in my place at the closing ceremonies tonight?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Spike. You saved the Crystal Empire twice! I think you can light some fireworks.
Spike: Mm, I guess I have to at least give it a shot.
Main cast: [cheering]
[crowd cheering]
Pinkie Pie: We did it! Ponyville won the medal count, and only by one medal!
Rainbow Dash: Hmm, wonder which medal that was? Bam!
Applejack: How does it feel to have opened the best Equestria Games in Ponyville history, squirt?
Apple Bloom: Probably as good as it feels to close them!
[guards marching]
Ms. Harshwhinny: Okay, it's time!
Spike: You know, it's kinda weird. No matter how many times others tell you you're great, all the praise in the world means nothing if you don't feel it inside. [inhales] [breathes fire] Sometimes to feel good about yourself, you gotta let go of the past. That way, when the time comes to let your greatness fly, you'll be able to light up the whole sky.
[fireworks exploding]
[credits]

Twilight's Kingdom - Part 1

[train whistle]
Spike: Seems like only yesterday I was saving this place from being totally destroyed. Hey, you guys remember that?
Rainbow Dash: You only mentioned it about fifteen times on the train here.
Rarity: [sarcastically, to Rainbow Dash] Yes, and we never hear a peep out of you about your exploits.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, point taken.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you all wanted to come, but I don't think it's gonna be that exciting. I pretty much just have to smile and wave as the dignitaries arrive.
Rarity: Yes, but you get to smile and wave like a princess.
Applejack: How exactly is that different than smilin' and wavin' like not a princess?
Twilight Sparkle: It isn't.
Fluttershy: What's wrong, Twilight?
Pinkie Pie: Why the looooooooong face?
Twilight Sparkle: I've just been feeling a little unsure about things lately. It doesn't seem that my new role as a princess equates to all that much.
Applejack: That's just silly. You've got a real important role in Equestria.
Fluttershy: Princess Celestia wouldn't have asked you to come today if she didn't think so.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess you're right.
Rarity: Of course we are. Now hurry along! You don't want to risk having that important role diminished because you were tardy for your regal meet-and-greet.
[fanfare]
Flash Sentry: The Duke and Duchess of Maretonia!
Spike: That was it? Princess Celestia had you come all the way to the Crystal Empire just to do that? I mean, whoa, really regal and important! [laughs nervously]
[thwack]
[theme song]
[doors open]
Duke of Maretonia: Your highness. Thank you for understanding our desire to keep the number of those privy to these confidential discussions to a minimum.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course.
[doors open and close]
Twilight Sparkle: Is there anything else I can do to assist with their visit?
Princess Cadance: I'm sorry, Twilight, but their visit is already over.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
Princess Luna: Something wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I just don't really understand why I'm here. Couldn't one of the royal guard have unfurled the banner?
Princess Celestia: Having all four of us in the Empire to greet them lets the dignitaries know that their visit is considered an important one.
Princess Cadance: Plus, it gives me an opportunity to see my favorite sister-in-law.
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm happy to see you. All of you.
Princess Cadance: But...?
Twilight Sparkle: But I... well, it's just that Princess Luna raises the moon, Princess Celestia raises the sun, you protect the Crystal Empire, and all I seem to do is... smile and wave.
[Twilight Sparkle]
It isn't that I'm ungrateful
For all the things that I've earned,
For all the journeys I have taken,
All the lessons that I have learned
But I wonder where I'm going now,
What my role is meant to be
I don't know how to travel
To a future that I can't see
I have my wings, I wear this crown
I'm a princess, this is true
But it's still unclear to me
Just what I am meant to do
I wanna have a purpose
Wanna do all that I can
I wanna make a contribution
I want to be a part of the plan
[Princess Celestia]
Your destiny's uncertain
And that's sometimes hard to take
But it will become much clearer
With every new choice you make
[Princess Luna]
Patience is never easy
I understand wanting more
I know how hard it is to wait
To spread out your wings and soar
[Princess Cadance]
But you stand here for a reason
You're gifted and you are strong
That crown is upon your head because
You belong
[Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance]
Know that your time is coming soon
As the sun rises, so does the moon
As love finds a place in every heart
You are a princess; you'll play your part
[Princess Luna]
We understand you wanting more
A chance to shine, a chance to soar
[Princess Cadance]
Soon will come the day it turns around
[Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance]
Know that your time is coming soon
As the sun rises, so does the moon
As love finds a place in every heart
You are a princess; you'll play your part
[Princess Celestia]
You are a princess; you'll play your part
Princess Celestia: Your time will come.
[can clanking]
Lord Tirek: [heavy breathing]
Rare Find: Very sorry. [chuckles] You came out of nowhere.
Lord Tirek: "Is he friend or is he foe?", the pony wonders. I can assure you... I am no friend. I am Lord Tirek, and I will take what should have been mine long ago. [laughing]
Princess Celestia: [gasps]
Princess Luna: Sister, are you alright?!
Princess Celestia: I've just had the most terrible dream.
Princess Luna: Why do you think I'm here? You know as well as I that this was not a dream, but a vision.
Princess Celestia: Then we haven't much time. The stronger he becomes, the more we are all in danger.
[pages turning]
Princess Celestia: [narrating] Tirek and his brother Scorpan came here from a distant land, intent on stealing Equestrian magic. But Scorpan soon came to appreciate the ways of Equestria, even befriending a young unicorn wizard.
Princess Luna: [narrating] Scorpan urged his brother to abandon their plans. When Tirek refused, Scorpan alerted us to Tirek's intentions.
Princess Celestia: [narrating] Scorpan returned to his own land, and Tirek was sent to Tartarus for his crimes. But it appears he has found a way to escape.
Princess Luna: We believe it happened when Cerberus left his post at the gates.
Twilight Sparkle: But that was a long time ago. Why is he just now starting to steal magic?
Princess Celestia: His time in Tartarus left him very weak. He has just now gained enough strength to use his dark powers.
Princess Luna: But with each passing moment, he grows stronger still.
Princess Cadance: And I know just the princess who can stop him.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes. I'll find him and–
Princess Celestia: No, Twilight. I'm afraid I must call in another to stop Tirek. Discord.
Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance: [gasps]
Applejack: ...As in Discord Discord?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Fluttershy: I don't think it's that big of a surprise. He can be very helpful.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: He can sense when there's a magical imbalance. The next time Tirek steals magic, Discord will be able to track him down!
Rainbow Dash: So what are you supposed to do in the meantime?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Nothing. Unless of course one of you needs me to smile and wave.
Spike: Where are you going?
Twilight Sparkle: To the Castle of the Two Sisters. I'm not really needed anywhere else. Might as well catch up on some of my reading.
Rainbow Dash: You want some company?
Applejack: It has been a while since we visited the castle. Might be fun!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I could use a little company right now.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I still can't believe we had to give back the Elements.
Rarity: It had to be done or the Tree of Harmony wouldn't have survived.
Fluttershy: But Twilight was right. Even without the Elements, our friendship is as strong as ever.
Applejack: I just hope another 'friend' of ours never makes us sorry we had to give them up.
Discord: [laughs] Oh, you're talking about me, I presume?
Applejack: How'd you guess?
Discord: My ears were burning.
[splash]
Rainbow Dash: What are you even doing here, Discord?
Discord: Oh, just a bit of light reading before I head off on my extremely important mission. I suppose you all know that I've been tasked to capture a certain escapee.
Spike: Big deal.
Discord: You're right, Spike. It is a big deal. Seems I possess a magic that gives me quite an important role in Equestria. Maybe they should make me an Alicorn princess.
[cheering offscreen]
Discord: Mmwah! Mmwah!
Rainbow Dash: In your dreams!
[bonk!]
Discord: Oh, I never dream of such things. Ask Princess Luna.
Applejack: Don't you have a creepy magic-stealin' villain to track down?
Discord: Yes, yes, yes, of course. It's just that I couldn't help but notice that Twilight hasn't yet opened this little chest of hers. I-I-It got me thinking, what if what's locked inside is something that could help her prove her royal worth? I only bring it up because she said that she's been feeling like her role as a princess doesn't equate to much.
Pinkie Pie: Wait a minute! How do you know how she was feeling?!
Discord: [mock sadness] Oh, my. Is eavesdropping not the way you're supposed to find out what your best pals are up to? Woe is me. Will I ever learn the intricate nuances of being a good friend?
[beat]
Discord: [clears throat] Well in any case, I suppose now is as good a time as any for me to make my exit.
[engine starts]
Applejack: And good riddance!
Discord: Oopsie-doopsie, I almost left with the little journal you've all been keeping. What a fascinating read. Haven't you girls just learned so much? I've bookmarked a few of the more interesting passages. You really should take a look! [to Fluttershy, hushed] We're still on for tea later, aren't we, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I wouldn't miss it.
Discord: [singsong] Well, I'll bring the cucumber sandwiches...!
[door shuts]
Applejack: Sometimes I think the 'reformed' Discord is more obnoxious than the 'before-he-was-reformed' Discord.
Rarity: Indeed.
Fluttershy: But he could be right, couldn't he? What if there is something important in that chest?
Twilight Sparkle: There's only one way to find out.
[pages turning]
Twilight Sparkle: Anything?
Rest of main cast: [various 'no's]
Twilight Sparkle: There must be something in this library that can help me figure out how to open it. The answer's in one of these books. I just know it.
[pages turning]
[thump]
Discord: Tirek, I presume?
Lord Tirek: Discord. You're free?
Discord: As a bird.
Lord Tirek: I commend you on your escape.
Discord: I'm afraid the feeling isn't mutual. [snaps fingers]
[chain clinking]
Lord Tirek: Oh, I should have known you would want to have Equestria all to yourself.
Discord: Oh, I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing it for my friends. [hushed] Just between the two of us, it's mostly for Fluttershy. [squee]
Lord Tirek: Fluttershy? You're not saying you're friends with ponies?
Discord: Surprise!
Lord Tirek: I am surprised that someone with your intellect does not see this 'friendship' is but a new form of imprisonment. Clearly you've had to abandon your true nature to stay in their good graces.
[harp playing]
Discord: I have done nothing of the sort!
Lord Tirek: Oh, please, I've seen this before. But he was always weak minded. You are Discord, you are legend, you cannot fall into the same trap that claimed my brother! Help me to grow strong, and be rewarded with something far greater than friendship. Freedom. Once I've stripped these ponies of their magic, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see their world turned upside down. Who better to do so than the master of chaos himself? Join me, Discord, and reclaim your greatness. Unless, of course, 'pony errand boy' is the role you've always wanted to play in this world.
Twilight Sparkle: I think I found something! I've been reading our journal, and there's something interesting about the sections that Discord bookmarked. Applejack, do you remember when you had to tell everypony that the tonic Granny bought from the Flim Flam brothers didn't really work?
Applejack: How could I forget? It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
Granny Smith: [gulping]
Applejack: [flashback] I hate to disappoint everypony, but there's no way Granny could have made that dive, because this tonic is a fake!
[crowd gasps]
Applejack: [present] And in that moment, I knew I had to be honest. I just knew it. But what's that got to do with openin' the chest?
Twilight Sparkle: I've found that each of you has had to face a situation where living up to the Element of Harmony you represent wasn't easy. Fluttershy, it was when you realized that the way to show kindness to the Breezies was by forcing them to leave your home.
Fluttershy: Oh, the looks on their poor little faces! But I knew that, as difficult as it was, pushing them away was the kindest thing I could do.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, even after Suri took advantage of your generosity at Fashion Week in Manehattan, you didn't let it cause you to abandon your generous spirit.
Rarity: I simply couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't do something special for the friends who have always been so generous to me!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, you had the chance to fly with the Wonderbolts at the Equestria Games, but instead you chose to compete with your friends.
Rainbow Dash: Sure! But being loyal to my friends was way–
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, my turn, my turn!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you realized that seeing your friend laugh was more important than proving you were a better party planner than Cheese Sandwich.
Rainbow Dash: Best party I've ever had.
Rarity: It's clear we've all had our moments to shine, Twilight, but I'm with Applejack. What does any of this have to do with the opening of the chest?
Twilight Sparkle: All of you had tough choices to make. But when you made the right one and embraced your element, it helped somepony else make the right choice too. Each of you received something from the pony whose life you helped change. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe there's something special about those objects that could lead us to the location of the keys. The chest is connected to the Tree of Harmony, the Tree is connected to the Elements, and the Elements are connected to all of us. There must be a connection! I hate to admit it, but maybe Discord was trying to be a good friend after all.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't see anything on them that would give us a clue as to where the keys might be. They're just... ordinary, everyday objects.
Pinkie Pie: Come on, Boneless! Give us that key!
[Boneless squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think that's going to work.
[Boneless squeaking]
Main cast: [gasps]
[magic zaps]
[keys clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: There's still one key missing. The key that represents the element of magic. My element.
Fluttershy: Oh, but I'm sure that if we've gotten our keys, you have too, Twilight.
Rarity: Think, Twilight. When have you completed a difficult magical task, and in doing so encouraged another pony to do the same?
Twilight Sparkle: I haven't. If I had, I would have written about it in the journal.
Spike: Don't worry, Twilight. I'm sure you'll get your key eventually. [sharp inhalation] [hurk!]
[magic pop]
Spike: What's it say?
Twilight Sparkle: That I'm needed in Canterlot at once!
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: I came as quickly as I could! Is something wrong? Is it Tirek?
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid I put too much trust in Discord and the effect that friendship would have upon him.
[crowd gasps]
Princess Luna: Discord has betrayed the ponies of Equestria and joined forces with Tirek.
[crowd gasps]
[magic noises]
[Discord clapping]
Twilight Sparkle: How could he do this?! I thought our friendship meant something to him! I thought he had changed.
Princess Celestia: Tirek has stolen enough magic that he now has the strength to steal flight as well. Without Pegasi to control the weather, there will be no rain in Equestria. There is word he has gone after Earth ponies as well. Without their strength, they will not be able to tend the land.
Princess Luna: Ponies will no longer be in control of their world. That power will belong solely to Tirek.
Princess Celestia: There is no doubt that Tirek is after Alicorn magic. With Discord by his side, we will not be able to stop him from taking it.
Princess Luna: Once it is in his possession, his power will know no bounds, and all hope will be lost.
Princess Celestia: But there is one solution. It is only by making this sacrifice that Equestria and the lands beyond it might be saved. We must rid ourselves of our magic before Tirek has the chance to steal it from us.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[To be continued...]
[credits]

Twilight's Kingdom - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Fluttershy: What's wrong, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: It doesn't seem that my new role as a princess equates to all that much.
Lord Tirek: I am Lord Tirek, and I will take what should have been mine long ago.
Princess Luna: With each passing moment, he grows stronger still.
Princess Cadance: And I know just the princess who can stop him.
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid I must call in another to stop Tirek.
Discord: [laughs] Oh, you're talking about me, I presume?
Discord: Haven't you girls just learned so much?
Twilight Sparkle: And there's something interesting about the sections that Discord bookmarked.
Twilight Sparkle: Each of you received something from the pony whose life you helped change.
Twilight Sparkle: There's still one key missing. My element.
Lord Tirek: Join me, Discord, and reclaim your greatness.
Princess Luna: Discord has betrayed the ponies of Equestria and joined forces with Tirek.
Princess Celestia: There is no doubt that Tirek is after Alicorn magic.
Princess Celestia: We must rid ourselves of our magic before Tirek has the chance to steal it from us.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[theme song]
Princess Luna: Tirek is set on possessing Alicorn magic. When he comes for us, we cannot have what he is looking for.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm more than willing to do my part and give up my magic.
Princess Luna: You misunderstand. Our magic cannot just disappear into thin air. Somepony must keep it safe.
Princess Cadance: That somepony is you, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Why me?
Princess Celestia: We do not believe that Tirek is aware that a fourth Alicorn princess exists in Equestria. If we transfer our magic to you, Tirek will not know where it has gone.
Princess Cadance: Do you understand what we're asking of you?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes. It's just... I'm only now learning how to control my own Alicorn magic. To take on even more–
Princess Cadance: Twilight, you represent the element of magic. If there is anypony who can do this, it's you.
Twilight Sparkle: Taking on this task will be one of the most difficult things I'll ever do, but with the help of my friends–
Princess Celestia: I'm sorry, Princess Twilight, but you must keep your new abilities a secret. I fear that your friends being aware of your new power could put them at great risk. Do you still think you can take on this responsibility?
Twilight Sparkle: This is the role I am meant to play as a princess of Equestria! I will not fail to do my duty!
Princess Celestia: Then we must begin at once.
[magic noises]
[wibbling noise]
Discord: [shivers] That can't be right.
Lord Tirek: What can't be right?
Discord: Nothing. Carry on.
[magic humming]
Princess Celestia: [out of breath] It is done.
[owl hoots]
Spike: [snoring] You weren't gone very long. Does that mean everything's okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Yep! Everything's fine! [chuckles nervously]
Spike: In that case, I'm going back to bed. Sun's not up... and neither am I.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] That's strange. The sun should be up by now... [gasps] The sun should be up by now! [inhales, exhales] You can do this.
[magic noises]
Discord: Shining Armor, why, whatever are you doing here?
Shining Armor: Back off, traitor.
Lord Tirek: The only one Discord betrayed was himself. Abandoning his true nature to make friends with weak-minded equines who offer him nothing!
[magic noises]
Lord Tirek: [laughs, chews]
Shining Armor: [weakly] How... could you... do this...?
Lord Tirek: Why don't you go and have a little fun? I won't stand in your way.
Discord: [giggles]
[approaching hoofbeats]
[smash!]
Lord Tirek: [inhales] What have you done?! [inhales] Where is your magic?!
[explosion]
Twilight Sparkle: I have to gain better control. I sure can't practice here.
Spike: Uh, Twilight, [pants] where are we goin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, uh, hi, Spike. Uh, gotta go... somewhere... else.
[explosion sound]
Twilight Sparkle: Waaaaah! Whoa!
[zoom]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Yiiiipe!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh!
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness, are you all right?
Applejack: Jumpin' junebugs, Twilight! When did you learn to fly that fast?
[electricity crackles]
Twilight Sparkle: I must have caught a particularly strong breeze... or something.
Rainbow Dash: Must have been "or something", because there wasn't any breeze up there.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what happened, but I don't really have time to figure it out right now.
[electricity crackles]
Rarity: Another visit to the Castle of the Two Sisters, I presume? We'd be more than happy to accompany you!
Twilight Sparkle: Not today!
[electricity crackles]
Twilight Sparkle: Tirek may still be a threat. I need you all to stay here and encourage everypony to remain inside.
Lord Tirek: Getting rid of your magic so that I cannot take it from you? That was your plan? How does it feel, knowing that soon, every Pegasus, unicorn and Earth pony will bow to my will, and that there is nothing you can do to stop it?
Princess Celestia: You will not prevail, Tirek.
Lord Tirek: Give my regards to Cerberus.
Discord: You meant our will, didn't you?
Lord Tirek: Of course. Here, I want you to have something. This was given to me by someone very close to me. I give it to you as a sign of my gratitude and loyalty.
Discord: Oh, my! I do love a good accessory. I suppose that's Rarity's influence.
Lord Tirek: [laughs] Amusing. But we have no time for such things. With the princesses out of the way, we can now– is this meant to be humorous?!
Discord: Oh, no, I haven't touched that one yet.
Lord Tirek: There's a fourth? And you did not tell me this?!
Discord: I just needed some assurance that you truly considered this a team effort. And now I have it.
Lord Tirek: Then where can we find this fourth princess? Where is her castle?
Discord: Castle? [laughs] No, Princess Twilight lives above a library in Ponyville. Castle? [laughs]
Lord Tirek: Not for much longer.
Applejack: Alright, y'all. I think we've warned everypony to stay inside.
Fluttershy: I'm sure Discord will catch Tirek and this will all be over soon.
Rainbow Dash: I'll bet he takes his sweet time.
Discord: Or perhaps these things just take time.
Fluttershy: [gasps] You're back! Did you bring the cucumber sandwiches?
Discord: I did. I imagine they'll be your last decent meal for quite some time.
[magic zap]
Main cast bar Twilight: [various exclamations]
Discord: Ta-da!
Lord Tirek: You've gathered up all of them?
Discord: And her little dragon, too.
Spike: [chomps]
Fluttershy: [crying] Why are you doing this? I thought we were friends!
Discord: Oh, we were. But Tirek offered me so much more than just tea parties. Surely you saw this coming.
Fluttershy: [crying] I didn't. I really didn't.
Lord Tirek: [inhales]
[thud]
Lord Tirek: You really think she'd do anything for them?
Discord: If Twilight has magic to give, it will be yours. Soon there won't be a Pegasus, Earth pony or unicorn who will be able to stand up against us.
Lord Tirek: Us? Who said anything about us?
Discord: You did.
Lord Tirek: You've helped me grow strong, you've provided the means by which I can obtain Princess Twilight's magic, and now you are no longer of any use to me.
[magic noises]
Discord: [weakly] But you said this was a sign of your gratitude and loyalty. A gift from someone close to you.
Lord Tirek: My brother who betrayed me. It is as worthless as he is.
Applejack: Surely you saw this comin'.
Discord: [weakly] I didn't. I truly didn't.
Twilight Sparkle: I can do this.
[magic hums, teleporting zap]
Twilight Sparkle: See! Ha! Perfectly controlled teleportation–
[many teleporting zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [growls]
Lord Tirek: Princess Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Tirek!
Lord Tirek: You have something that belongs to me!
[thud]
Lord Tirek: You're going to give me what I want! [inhales]
[teleporting zap]
[explosion]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams] [gasps]
[magic noises, explosions]
Lord Tirek: Now I understand what your fellow princesses have done!
[magic noises]
Lord Tirek: [roars]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
[distant thud]
Lord Tirek: [roars]
[crunching]
[magic noises, Tirek roaring in rage]
[explosion]
Lord Tirek: It appears we are at an impasse. How about a trade, Princess Twilight? Their release for all the Alicorn magic in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Rest of main cast: [shouts of protest]
Lord Tirek: What's it going to be, Princess?
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Don't do it, Twilight!
Fluttershy: [muffled] We aren't worth it!
Discord: [muffled] Oh, but you are, Fluttershy. You're the pony that taught me that friendship is magic. I had magic and friendship, and now I don't have either.
Lord Tirek: Enough! I want an answer, and I want it now!
[long pause]
Twilight Sparkle: I will give you my magic, in exchange for my friends.
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Lord Tirek: As you wish.
[bubbles popping]
Twilight Sparkle: All of my friends.
Lord Tirek: After the way he has betrayed you, you still call him a 'friend'?
Twilight Sparkle: Release him!
Lord Tirek: If that's what you want.
[bubble pops]
Discord: Thank you, Twilight. [to Fluttershy, hushed] I'm sorry.
Fluttershy: I know.
Lord Tirek: Your turn.
Twilight Sparkle: [pained screaming]
Lord Tirek: [roars] Yes!
Spike: Twilight, what were you thinking?!
Discord: Tirek tricked me into believing that he could offer me something more valuable than friendship. But there is nothing worth more. I see that now. He lied when he said that this medallion was given as a sign of gratitude and loyalty. But when I say that it is a sign of our true friendship, I am telling the truth.
Applejack: You think that might be the last one we need?
Twilight Sparkle: We have to get to the chest.
[various crunching]
Twilight Sparkle: Together! I think we have to do this together!
[keys turning]
Main cast: [gasps]
[magic noises]
Lord Tirek: How is this possible?! You have no magic!
Twilight Sparkle: You're wrong, Tirek! I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry within me the most powerful magic of all!
Lord Tirek: [screaming]
[Cerberus growls]
[many magic noises]
Rarity: Sweet Celestia! Are you all seeing what I'm seeing?
Twilight Sparkle: But... whose is it?
Princess Celestia: I believe it is yours, Princess Twilight.
Princess Celestia: You've been wondering what you are meant to do as a princess. Do you know now?
Twilight Sparkle: As princess, I believe I have the power to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. That is the role I am meant to have in our world! The role I choose to have! But I didn't defeat Tirek on my own – it took all of us to unlock the chest!
Princess Celestia: Then it is unlikely you are meant to take on this task alone.
Main cast: [gasping in awe]
Pinkie Pie: Wowee!
Princess Celestia: You are now Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship. But what is the princess of friendship without her friends?
Discord: Wait a minute, where's my throne?!
Fluttershy: I don't think you're quite there yet.
Discord: [chuckles] Yes, well, I suppose not.
[Twilight Sparkle]
Each one of us has something special
That makes us different, that makes us rare
[Fluttershy]
We have a light that shines within us
That we were always meant to share
[All]
And when we come together
Combine the light that shines within
There is nothing we can't do
There is no battle we can't win
When we come together
There'll be a star to guide the way
It's inside us every day
See it now! See it now!
Let the rainbow remind you
That together we will always shine
Let the rainbow remind you
That forever this will be our time
[mandolin solo]
[Twilight Sparkle]
Let the rainbow remind you
That together we will always shine
[Princess Twilight's theme plays over credits]

The Cutie Map - Part 1

Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Let's go through this one more time.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but why?
Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' more to it than that.
Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be more to it. It's all simply divine!
Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And Rainbow Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.
Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: As princess, I've been chosen to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. So why would the Tree of Harmony want us to sit in a castle in Ponyville? It doesn't make any sense.
[rumbling]
Spike: [groans] Is that new? I like it.
[theme song]
Spike: This is incredible! It's got all of Equestria!
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Mom and Dad!
[stomp]
[shimmering]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Fluttershy: But if this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we not follow it?
Rainbow Dash: Y'know what? There's a ton of room for dangerous adventure along that route. Count me in!
Applejack: Aw, shoot, I reckon you're right.
Pinkie Pie: Well, I was planning on organizing my baking sheets, but okay!
Rarity: [sighs] Very well.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Um, maybe I'll just stay here with Spike.
Spike: Awesome! Me and Big Mac have a huge weekend ahead of us talkin' hoofball, and... and trading hoofball cards, and arguing about hoofball stats...
Fluttershy: O-o-on second thought, m-m-maybe I'd better go with them. In case they need me.
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like it's time for a road trip.
Spike: Well, suit yourself. But he's got a Hock Fetlock rookie card I plan to sweet-talk right into these hot little claws.
[train engine chuffing]
[brakes squealing]
Twilight Sparkle: That's it! That's the place on the map!
Rarity: Right. Let's get down there and find the spa.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. We don't know why the map sent us here. We shouldn't just walk right in. It could be dangerous.
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Pinkie Pie: Stay behind me, everypony! I'm on it!
Applejack: Careful, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
[thud, scraping noises]
Rainbow Dash: This is where the map sent us? It looks like the most boring place in Equestria.
Applejack: It's just an ordinary village full of ordinary pony folk.
Rarity: It could certainly use a few more architectural flourishes. Or any architectural flourishes.
Fluttershy: I think it's lovely.
Pinkie Pie: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I know smiles. And those smiles? They're just not right.
Twilight Sparkle: Forget the smiles. Look at the cutie marks.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, that's weird.
Twilight Sparkle: An entire village with the same cutie mark? How can that be?
Rainbow Dash: I bet there's some sort of horrific monster behind it.
Twilight Sparkle: What makes you say that?
Rainbow Dash: 'Cause fighting a horrific monster would be super-awesome!
Applejack: I reckon we just ought to head into town and talk to some locals, find out what's goin' on.
Rainbow Dash: Great idea, AJ. Let's go!
Pinkie Pie: Those smiles are bad news.
"Sunny Song": Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Pegasus Mare #3: Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #3: Welcome!
"Bacon Braids": Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #2: Welcome!
"Offbeat": Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Filly #1, Cotton Cloudy, "Princess Erroria", and "Ruby Pinch": Welcome!
Fluttershy: This must be the most pleasant place in Equestria!
Night Glider: Welcome!
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Thanks a lot, map.
Party Favor: Welcome! Pardon my forwardness, but are you an Alicorn?
Applejack: That there's the Princess of Friendship!
Party Favor: Well, you've certainly come to the right place for friendship.
Double Diamond: What brings you to town?
Twilight Sparkle: We're not entirely sure.
Double Diamond: I see. Well, all are welcome here in our little village. My name is Double Diamond, and this is Party Favor.
Applejack: Howdy, Double Diamond. I'm Applejack, and this here's Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.
Double Diamond: And you all have your own unique cutie marks.
Twilight Sparkle: If you don't mind, has there been any sort of... trouble here, lately?
Double Diamond: Trouble? Why, I don't think we've ever had trouble in our little village.
Party Favor: It's true. You'll see. Hm.
Double Diamond: Perhaps you'd care to speak to our founder Starlight Glimmer.
Fluttershy: I wish everypony in Equestria was as friendly as these ponies are.
Pinkie Pie: I've got my eye on them. Something's rotten in... whatever the name of this village is that we're in right now!
[knocking]
Double Diamond: Starlight, we have some new visitors.
Rainbow Dash: [to Applejack] Be ready to fight. We don't know what's gonna come through that door.
Starlight Glimmer: Welcome! I'm so pleased to have you here.
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Double Diamond: This is Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle.
Starlight Glimmer: Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming it's Princess Twilight Sparkle? We don't get many Alicorns around here.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but "Twilight" is fine.
Starlight Glimmer: So! How did you hear of our little village?
Twilight Sparkle: It's kind of a long story. Let's just say we found it on a map.
Pinkie Pie: Technically, it's a Tree-chest-castle-map!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you! We're happy to have anypony who wants to experience true friendship for the first time.
Applejack: Say what?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, indeed. That's what's so unique about our village, you see. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents because we don't have any special talents to flaunt.
Twilight Sparkle: Is that why you all have those cutie marks?
Starlight Glimmer: Perhaps it would be easier to understand if I gave you a tour of the village!
[marching drum cadence]
Starlight Glimmer: Heads high, ponies! Marching proud! [whistle blows] All together now! Every one of you! No pony left behind!
Life is so grand in Our Town
We're always filled with cheer
We never have to look around
To know that we're all here
[Citizens]
In Our Town, in Our Town
We don't have to wait
To find out that our destiny
Is just to emulate
Starlight Glimmer: Let's see those big, happy smiles!
Life is a smile in Our Town
Our cutie mark's the same
Because we do not separate
Ourselves by more than name
[Citizens]
In Our Town, in Our Town
We dare not compete
Winning only breeds the worst
Ego-filled conceit
Starlight Glimmer: You see? Now everypony wins!
Life is a joy in Our Town
We're all equal here
No one is superior
And no one shakes in fear
[Citizens]
In Our Town, in Our Town
We work as a team
You can't have a nightmare
If you never dream
[Starlight Glimmer]
Other ponies argue
Do you ever wonder why?
When you think your talent's special
You don't see eye-to-eye
There's just too many differences
That lead to disarray
But when you learn to act as one
It's like a holiday
[Citizens]
In Our Town, in Our Town
We don't complicate
When you learn to simplify
Life is oh, so great
Join in our utopia
Come out of the dark
Banded by equality
By our cutie mark!
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] You're kidding, right? Give up our cutie marks? No way!
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, don't be so rude. I don't think we should judge them. They all seem perfectly happy with their choice.
Pinkie Pie: Don't believe their smiles, Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, I guess we're just a little confused by all of this.
Starlight Glimmer: We have no judgements here in our village. Each of us was confused once as well, blinded by the false promise of our cutie marks.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is she for real?
Twilight Sparkle: When we were sent to this village, we assumed it was to help in some way. But, well, it doesn't seem like you need any help.
Starlight Glimmer: Have you considered perhaps that you might have been sent here so we could help you? After all, nopony has ever come to our village and wanted to leave. Why should you be any different? But that is entirely your choice. Please enjoy our little corner of Equestria. We're all quite fond of it. No doubt you will be as well. Double Diamond, please help our guests with whatever they might need.
Double Diamond: Of course.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, this will certainly provide a boost to our little community. When the rest of Equestria sees that a princess gave up her cutie mark to join us, they'll finally understand what we're trying to accomplish.
S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #3: Welcome!
"Ivy Vine": Welcome!
"Sunny Song": Welcome!
Twilight Sparkle: A cutie mark is a representation of a pony's unique talents and skills. How is it possible to—
Rarity: [gasps] What in the name of Equestria is that?!
"Burlap": Welcome! Care to sample some local fashion? We've got cloaks this month!
Rarity: [gagging] Wha— Ooh, er, perhaps another time, good sir, thank you. [whispering] No wonder nopony's wearing anything!
Fluttershy: [hushed] Really, girls! They may do things a bit differently than we're used to, but that's no reason to be rude.
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] No, the reason to be rude is that they all keep staring at us!
Double Diamond: Need something?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no! We're good! [hushed] Fluttershy's right. If we're going to get to the bottom of why the map sent us here, we'll need the help of these ponies.
Applejack: I think we ran off to the end of Equestria before we even knew what that map was!
Pinkie Pie: If we were at the end of Equestria, we'd be sitting on a big 'A'! [giggles] Get it?
Rarity: Oh, please, Miss Pie! This is hardly the time for jokes! We've come all this way and for what?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Maybe you're right. But we're here now, and it sure feels like something's wrong.
Applejack: That and two bits'll get you a cup of cider.
Sugar Belle: Is this a bad time?
Fluttershy: We shouldn't be bickering like this in front of our new friends. Really, Applejack, you're almost as bad as Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Don't drag me into this!
Sugar Belle: Is your friendship ending?
Pinkie Pie: Are you crazy?! We'd never let a disagreement get in the way of food!
Sugar Belle: O-kay, well, my name is Sugar Belle. What can I bring you? We have: muffins...
[long beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Then I guess we'll take six muffins!
Pinkie Pie: Make that twelve! What? I'm hungry!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Come on, girls. We've got to stick together. It doesn't matter what happened before, we're here now.
Applejack: I guess you're right. And the sooner we figure out why, the sooner we can go home.
Sugar Belle: Forgive me for overhearing, but just a moment ago you were disagreeing, and now it sounds like you're... agreeing.
Applejack: Uh-huh...
Sugar Belle: Well, you had such differing opinions – and cutie marks.
Rarity: We have differing opinions all the time, darling.
Sugar Belle: But you look like you're friends.
Twilight Sparkle: We are friends. A simple disagreement wouldn't change that.
Sugar Belle: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time understanding. Different talents lead to different opinions, which lead to bitterness and misery. So... why aren't you bitter and...?
Pinkie Pie: [choking] Blech! Mmmm... good...
Sugar Belle: It's all right. I know I'm not a very good baker. At least, I know I'm not any better than anypony else in the village. Well, I... hope you enjoy our little village!
Pinkie Pie: [hacking]
Sugar Belle: [hushed] Come inside before you go! Meet me downstairs!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, that was weird too.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Let's all sit here and eat these muffins and act normal. I think we're being watched.
[scissors snipping]
Rainbow Dash: You think?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, not like that! I mean somepony here doesn't want us talking to Sugar Belle.
Double Diamond: [chomp]
Applejack: I got an idea. But you gotta eat all of them muffins, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Me?! Why me?!
Applejack: [hushed] You got a stronger stomach than any of us, and that filly in there might be our best chance at findin' out what the hay is goin' on round here.
Pinkie Pie: [chomping]
Applejack: [stilted] I can't believe you ate all our muffins, Pinkie Pie! We'd best go inside and get some more!
Twilight Sparkle: Nice work, Pinkie.
[thumps and honks]
Pinkie Pie: I've accidentally eaten cardboard tastier than that...
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? Sugar Belle?
Sugar Belle: Thank you for coming!
Twilight Sparkle: Why did you want us to come down here?
Sugar Belle: So nopony could see what's about to happen.
Party Favor: Are you really the Princess of Friendship?
Night Glider: Do you know Princess Celestia?
Sugar Belle: I love your cutie mark!
Night Glider: How can you be friends with different cutie marks? Don't you end up hating each other?
Sugar Belle: Oh, look at this one! This one's great too! I'd love to have my special talent back even just for a day! Make something besides those disgusting muffins...
Rainbow Dash: So what's stopping you? Go get your cutie marks back.
Party Favor: Daydreaming is one thing, but you mean actually having it put back on? That seems extreme.
Sugar Belle: I'm not sure Starlight would like that. She wants us all to be happy in our sameness.
Twilight Sparkle: How do you take somepony's cutie mark anyway?
Night Glider: The cutie unmarking is a beautiful experience! Starlight uses the Staff of Sameness to magically take them away and replace them with these.
Twilight Sparkle: But nopony should keep you from your cutie mark. It represents such an essential part of who you are.
Night Glider: Oh, we're not kept from them. They're in the vault up in the caves. We can visit them any time we like to remind us of the heartache of a life with special talents.
Twilight Sparkle: Can we visit this cave?
Starlight Glimmer: I'm delighted you're interested in our cutie mark vault. We hope someday every pony in Equestria will make a pilgrimage here to our little village to have theirs removed too, and our message of [continues under] perfectly equal friendship can finally spread across the land.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed, over] This must be the reason we're here.
Pinkie Pie: [hushed, over] "Pilgrimaging"?
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] No, helping those ponies get their cutie marks back.
Fluttershy: [hushed] Oh, are you sure, Twilight? Maybe they miss them a little, but even they didn't seem all that unhappy.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Then why did they want to meet us in secret? And why did they ask us not to tell Starlight who told us about the vault? Something's not right.
Starlight Glimmer: Just through here! Behold! Our cutie mark vault!
Twilight Sparkle: I've never seen anything like it!
Starlight Glimmer: And here is the Staff of Sameness. It was one of the great Mage Meadowbrook's nine enchanted items. We are incredibly fortunate to have it here. This is the tool that allows us to free ourselves from our marks! I'm curious – how did the subject of the vault come up?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, some ponies were telling us how much they missed their cutie marks, and—
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Oops...
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Were they? Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free thinking, don't you?
Rarity: [laughs nervously] Well, w-we certainly didn't intend to cause any disruptions to your charming little—
Starlight Glimmer: Good. Let's just make sure of that, shall we?
Twilight Sparkle: It's a trap!
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
Rest of main cast: [groaning]
Starlight Glimmer: Aw. I don't blame you for what you tried to do here today. You've spent your whole lives thinking those marks are a good thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Give them back!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, now you can spend the rest of your lives here with us! And we'll teach you just how much better life can be without your cutie marks!
[To be continued...]
[credits]

The Cutie Map - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: As princess, I've been chosen to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. So why would the Tree of Harmony want us to sit in a castle in Ponyville?
[rumbling]
Spike: This is incredible! It's got all of Equestria!
Fluttershy: Why are our cutie marks over there?
Twilight Sparkle: Seems like the map wants us to find out.
Twilight Sparkle: An entire village with the same cutie mark?
Starlight Glimmer: Welcome!
Fluttershy: This must be the most pleasant place in Equestria!
Starlight Glimmer: I'm delighted you're interested in our cutie mark vault.
Twilight Sparkle: It's a trap!
Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
Starlight Glimmer: Now you can spend the rest of your lives here without your cutie marks!
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: [slightly muffled, over loudspeaker] In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie.
[door pounding]
Starlight Glimmer: Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your special talent.
Rainbow Dash: [over] [grunting]
Starlight Glimmer: [voice fades under] Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, this is pretty good!
Starlight Glimmer: [under] Be your best by never being your best.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, we've gotta find a way out of here! I can't take much more of that voice!
Rarity: Oh, this is horrible! [crying]
Fluttershy: There, there, Rarity... It's not so bad...
Rarity: Yes, it is! Look at those drapes! I have no idea if they're tacky or not!
Fluttershy: Well, I think they're nice.
[pulsing noise]
Rarity: [crying] So do I!
[bird tweets]
Fluttershy: Oh, thank goodness! Can you help us, little birdie?
[bird tweets]
[pulsing noise]
Fluttershy: Go on, now! Fly away and get us help!
[bird tweets]
Fluttershy: Oh, even tweets don't make sense any more!
Applejack: [grunts] This door's shut tighter than a... summer of...
[pulsing noise]
Applejack: ...uh, piglets in... shoot! I can't even make countryisms no more!
Pinkie Pie: I don't know! Maybe it'll be super fun to be all the same!
[pulsing noise]
Pinkie Pie: Sort of. More pleasant than fun, I guess...
Twilight Sparkle: Something odd about that staff. I haven't studied Eastern unicorns as much as I should have, but I'm pretty sure Meadowbrook only had eight magical items, not nine. And I don't remember any of them being a staff.
Applejack: Well, it looks like you'll have plenty of time to try to think about it.
Starlight Glimmer: [fading up, echoing] ...Choose equality as your special talent. Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail. Be your best by never being your best. Conformity will set you free. Accept your limitations, and happiness will follow. You're no better than your friends. [abruptly fades back under]
Twilight Sparkle: I've got it!
Rest of main cast: [exclamations of surprise]
Twilight Sparkle: I know how we can get out!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Forget it, Twilight. This door's not opening.
Rarity: And I'm afraid the windows are much too small for escape.
Twilight Sparkle: But there is a third way.
Pinkie Pie: Of course! Eventually the wind and the weather will wear down the walls until they start to crumble! Then all we have to do is wait for a big enough hole to form and we can just walk out! It's the perfect plan!
[pulsing noise]
Pinkie Pie: I guess.
Twilight Sparkle: We don't actually have to escape. They'll just let us out when they think we've accepted their philosophy!
Applejack: But they're never gonna believe we switched over in just one night.
Twilight Sparkle: There's one of us they might believe.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Oh! Me?!
Rainbow Dash: You've been saying how great this place is since we got here!
Fluttershy: But that's because everypony's so nice and their village is so pretty, and, and... Oh, you're right. They probably would believe me. I hate to lie to them. They've been so welcoming and friendly... aside from locking us in here and trying to brainwash us into abandoning the things that make us special... Okay. I'll do it.
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! I mean, cool.
Fluttershy: But what do I do once I'm out?
Twilight Sparkle: You've gotta find a way to get our cutie marks back.
Fluttershy: [gulping]
[loudspeaker feedback]
Starlight Glimmer: [over loudspeaker] Oh, good morning!
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: I trust you had a pleasant night? This way, please. There are some friends who'd like to see you. Gather round, friends, gather round! We've come to ask if any of you are ready to join us! There are so many friends to be made once you realize you don't need your cutie marks or the talents that come with them.
Double Diamond: We have a welcome ceremony for new friends! The whole village joins together to build you your own cottage—
Rainbow Dash: Not interested! You may have them now, but we're going to get our cutie marks back!
Applejack: Y'all don't understand, do ya? You can't force nopony to be friends! It don't work like that!
"Sunny Song": Please, join us!
"Rosemary": We love new friends!
Starlight Glimmer: It's all right, everypony. This is a perfectly normal part of the equalization process for those who haven't... quite seen the light yet. We'll try again tomorrow once you've had a bit more time to consider our philosophy!
Fluttershy: I'd like to join!
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy? How could you?!
Fluttershy: If giving up my cutie mark means I get to stay in this lovely village with these lovely ponies, then I'll do it.
[door shuts]
Starlight Glimmer: We have a new friend, everypony!
[ponies chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: Now, there's one more order of business. It seems some in our midst might be... dissatisfied with the village life!
[ponies gasping]
Starlight Glimmer: Unfortunately, it's all too true, my friends! [to Fluttershy] Will you kindly tell us the names of those friends who so desperately miss their cutie marks that they would sneak around in the shadows talking to strangers about it? Just so we can be sure your intentions are indeed pure.
Fluttershy: [gulps]
Fluttershy: Um, I don't know who they were. Um, I'm sorry. I don't know your names and faces yet.
Starlight Glimmer: Nonsense! Obviously these ponies must have asked you directly. Kindly point them out!
Party Favor: It was me! It was only me! But I only wanted it back for a little while!
Starlight Glimmer: And you're quite certain it was only you?
Party Favor: I just wanted to remember what it was like.
Starlight Glimmer: And no thought to the pain you'd cause your friends. Such selfishness.
Party Favor: I'm sorry, everypony! I never wanted to leave the village! I love all of—
[door shuts]
Party Favor: What was I thinking?! I can't believe I even considered asking for my cutie mark back.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. Fluttershy will have us out of here in no time!
Party Favor: Didn't you see what just happened out there?! Your friend has accepted our way! You will all accept our way! It's only a matter of time!
Rainbow Dash: This guy's a barrel of laughs.
Pinkie Pie: [flatly] Laughs don't come in barrels. They come from inside you as your body's response to delight.
Applejack: [hushed] So what are we gonna do while Fluttershy's out there lookin' for our [whispering] cutie marks?
Twilight Sparkle: We have to stay as positive as we can. If Party Favor sees how much we really do like each other, even though we're all different, maybe we can use him to spread our message to the rest of the village.
[loudspeaker crackles]
Starlight Glimmer: [over loudspeaker] To excel is to fail. [continues under]
Rarity: Let's hope they don't convert any of us first.
"Rocky Storm": Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Pegasus Mare #3: Welcome!
S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #4: Welcome!
Fluttershy: Gosh, you really are the nicest ponies I've ever met.
Starlight Glimmer: Come. All new friends stay with me until their cottage is completed. Let's get you settled, and then you can enjoy all that our little village has to offer.
[rumbling]
Fluttershy: [coughing] Brrrrrr! [sighs] Get the cutie marks back. That's all you've gotta do, Fluttershy. Just sneak through the dark up to that spooky old cave with the scary magical staff and get the cutie marks back.
Fluttershy: Okay, you're doing great. The cave's gotta be close now...
Starlight Glimmer: Excellent work, Double Diamond.
Double Diamond: Of course, but I don't understand why you wanted me to bring them here. Fluttershy is one of us now. Surely she can be trusted.
Starlight Glimmer: This one belongs to a princess. It could be very important to our cause.
Double Diamond: But if Twilight Sparkle becomes our friend, then why do we care about this old cutie mark?
Starlight Glimmer: I just want to keep them close until everything is... settled. You may go, Double Diamond.
[door shuts]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. How am I ever going to get the cutie marks back now?
[crash]
Starlight Glimmer: Ow!
[bucket rolling]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! Starlight, you clumsy foal!
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, no...
Starlight Glimmer: I've got a good feeling about today! So, do any of you have anything you'd like to say? Aw, pity. Well, let's try this again tomorrow, shall we? No new friends today, I'm afraid!
Fluttershy: Wait! I'd like to lock them in.
Starlight Glimmer: Marvelous, Fluttershy! That's the spirit! Party Favor, will you join us, please?
Party Favor: I'm sorry, Starlight! I'm sorry, everypony! I've seen the error of my ways! I never want to look at my cutie mark again!
Starlight Glimmer: It seems there's cause for celebration after all!
Crowd: Hooray! [cheering]
Party Favor: They tried to break me! They wouldn't stop talking about how different they are, and that somehow makes their friendship stronger!
Starlight Glimmer: Such backwards thinking.
Party Favor: But I didn't listen! I knew what they were up to, and I didn't listen!
Starlight Glimmer: Well done, Party Favor! We welcome you back with open hooves!
Fluttershy: Um, Starlight? I think we might have one more friend joining us today.
[crowd gasps]
Starlight Glimmer: Is this true?
Twilight Sparkle: I-I think so. But I just want to be sure. If I agree to leave my cutie mark in the vault, I'll really be happier?
Starlight Glimmer: Just look around! Equality has given us more happiness than you've ever known!
Twilight Sparkle: And you wouldn't let me just live here in the village with my old cutie mark?
Starlight Glimmer: Out of the question. A pony with a different cutie mark in our midst would destroy our entire philosophy. We are all equal here!
[crowd muttering]
Fluttershy: Then how do you explain this?!
[splash]
Starlight Glimmer: I knew you couldn't be trusted! No! Get away!
[crowd gasps]
Starlight Glimmer: Wha... What are you looking at?! They're the problem, not me!
Party Favor: How could you?
Double Diamond: You said cutie marks were evil! You said special talents led to pain and heartache!
Starlight Glimmer: They do! Don't you see?! Look at them!
Sugar Belle: Then why? Why did you take ours and not give up your own?
Starlight Glimmer: I... I had to, you fools! How could I collect your cutie marks without my magic?!
Night Glider: But the staff has all the magic we need!
Starlight Glimmer: The staff is a piece of wood I found in the desert! It's my magic that makes all this possible! You'd all still be living your miserable lives thinking you're better than everypony else if it weren't for my magical abilities! I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created harmony!
Double Diamond: You lied to us!
Starlight Glimmer: So what? E-Everything else I said is true! The only way to be happy is if we're all equal!
Party Favor: Except for you.
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony has unique talents and gifts, and when we share them with each other, that's how rea—
Starlight Glimmer: QUIET!
Sugar Belle: You can't have a cutie mark, Starlight! Either we're all equal, or none of us are!
[door shuts]
Double Diamond: Come on! Let's get our cutie marks back!
Crowd: Yeah! [shouted agreement]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! Let's go get our cutie marks!
Fluttershy: Our cutie marks aren't in the vault! They're in there with her!
[pounding]
Double Diamond: Stand back, everypony!
[glass cracking]
[magical zaps]
Rarity: Even without my cutie mark, I can tell this is beautiful!
Starlight Glimmer: They think they can come to my village and disrupt my life? Let's see how they like spending the rest of their lives without their precious cutie marks!
Applejack: [grunting]
Rarity: [grunting]
[whistling]
Night Glider: Stand back, everypony!
[crunch]
[glass breaks]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: They're gone! They were right over there!
Rainbow Dash: Look!
Party Favor: [blows up balloon]
[balloon squeaking]
Party Favor: She's headed for the pass! If she makes it into those mountains, we'll never find her!
Pinkie Pie: These are amazing!
Sugar Belle: There's a whole network of caves up there! Your cutie marks will be gone forever!
Applejack: Then let's get moving, y'all!
[pulsing noise]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on!
[jars rattling]
Starlight Glimmer: Are you all so willing to give up everything because of these strangers?!
[snow thudding]
Sugar Belle: We gave up everything for you, because we thought you were our friend!
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe we have to count on these other ponies to save our cutie marks!
Twilight Sparkle: If we hadn't come here to help them, they'd still be living under her rules! Now it's their turn to help us!
Fluttershy: And I know they can do it!
Sugar Belle: My newest recipe – snow pie!
[thud]
[explosion]
[balloon squeaking]
[balloons stretching]
Rainbow Dash: She's gonna get away!
Double Diamond: Whoa! These are my old skis! This is where I first met Starlight!
Night Glider: Maybe you can reminisce another time! She's almost to the caves!
Double Diamond: Feel like an air drop?
[skiing noises]
[snow thudding]
[glass breaking]
[magical zaps]
Applejack: Yee-haw! Finally, I can buck like a five-bit snake herder in an Appleloosa ranch house again!
Fluttershy: And you got your countryisms back, too!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Wh– I studied that spell for years! How can you—
Twilight Sparkle: I studied magic for years too! But what I didn't know then was that studying could only take me so far. Each of my friends has taught me something different about myself! It was their unique gifts and passions and personalities that helped bring out the magic inside of me! I never would have learned that I represent the element of magic without these five! And I certainly wouldn't be here to stop you now!
Starlight Glimmer: Spare me your sentimental nonsense! I gave these ponies real friendships they never could've had otherwise!
Double Diamond: How do you know that?! You never even gave us a chance!
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: She's getting away!
Double Diamond: We'll never find her in there!
Twilight Sparkle: We just have to hope that when she's had a chance to think it over, she realizes that you all have taught her something.
Party Favor: It's you who have taught us something. We all came to this village because we were searching for something missing from our lives. We thought Starlight had given it to us, but now... now it seems it was in front of us all along. It's us!
Twilight Sparkle: Does that mean you'll stay in the village?
Night Glider: It's our home. I'm not going anywhere.
Double Diamond: This is a chance for all of us to get to know each other again for the very first time!
Sugar Belle: And I finally have a chance to bake something besides terrible muffins!
All: [laughing]
[ponies laughing and chattering]
[Wilhelm scream]
Pinkie Pie: Now those are real smiles.
[cutie marks pulsing]
Applejack: I'll never get used to that.
Rarity: I think it's divine.
Fluttershy: Does that mean that the map is calling us somewhere else?
Twilight Sparkle: I have a feeling it means our work here is done.
Applejack: Looks like you were right, Twilight. The map did have a reason for sendin' us here. We brought real friendship to these here ponies. Guess that's why you're the Princess of Friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: But the map didn't send me. It sent us. You're a part of me, all of you. And there's no doubt you're a part of my mission to spread friendship too.
Main cast: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: This feels like an ending! It doesn't have to be an ending yet, right? 'Cause that Sugar Belle can bake!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we can stay a little while longer. Come on!
[orchestral music over credits]

Castle Sweet Castle

[scrubbing noises]
[bear grunt]
[bubbling]
Fluttershy: Phew! Thanks for helping me get them so fresh and clean, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: No problem, happy to do it!
Fluttershy: You probably can't wait to get back to your castle and take your own bath, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Aren't there more animals that need cleaning?
Fluttershy: I think you and I are the only ones left, and I can't wait to get the mud out of my mane.
[thud, splash]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Angel got dirty! I'd better stay longer to help give him a bath too!
[splash, scrubbing noises]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Thank you ever so much for staying to give Angel a bath too, but, um... I think he's dry.
[floof]
Fluttershy: Goodness! It's gotten late! You really didn't have to stay all day. Not that we don't appreciate it. Isn't that right?
Angel: [grunts]
Fluttershy: I for one am exhausted. [yawns] Plus, I really need to rest up for that big pancake breakfast tomorrow. [beat] And I'm sure you have to get the castle ready.
Twilight Sparkle: No! The castle's... fine! But maybe I'd better see if Pinkie Pie needs help with the pancakes!
[door slams]
Fluttershy: [knocking] Um, Angel?
[main cast eating noisily]
Applejack: [gulps] Mm, these are delicious, Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: [slurps, gulps] Thanks! Twilight spent all night helping me pick the flavor! I kept thinking we'd found the right one, but she insisted I make even more to try. And more. And more and more and more and more! It was like she never wanted to—
Fluttershy: Leave?
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! [chomp] Eventually we ran out of time so we just went with every-berry-any-chip-surprise! [to Rarity, hushed] The surprise is I lost a measuring spoon in the batter. Somepony's gonna get a very special pancake!
Rainbow Dash: Up all night, huh? Is that why she's so, uh... out of it?
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Fluttershy: Um, I don't mean to sound unappreciative, but has anypony else noticed that Twilight has been a little too helpful lately?
Applejack: Now that you mention it, she was lendin' a hoof at Sweet Apple Acres the other day and stuck around 'til near midnight. Dug up fifty tree-plantin' holes when all I needed was ten.
Rarity: She spent an entire afternoon rearranging a single gem drawer at the boutique. An entire afternoon!
Rainbow Dash: You think that's weird? She raced me, like, a hundred times the other day. And lost every time! She just kept goin'! Best out of ten, best out of twenty, best out of a hundred! I mean, I know hanging out with me is awesome, but it was like she'd rather keep losing than—
Fluttershy: Leave?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Who does that?
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
[splat]
Applejack: Somepony who's avoidin' somethin', that's who. Soon as she wakes up, we're gonna find out what.
Pinkie Pie: [coughs] I win!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?! I'm pancake! I mean, awake...
Applejack: Uh, Twilight? Is there somethin' you wanna tell us?
Rarity: You know how much we appreciate all you do for us, and we simply adore having you around... but... we worry you might be... ahem... avoiding something else?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, has it been that obvious? I've been... the thing is... I know it's silly, but I... I've been avoiding... this place.
Rarity: [gasps] Why in Equestria would you want to avoid such a gorgeous castle?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, this place has everything! Big tall ceilings that make you feel tiny! Shiny new floors that are cold to the touch! Brrr! And it even has loooong empty hallways!
["hallways" echoes out]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, I get it.
Twilight Sparkle: The castle is amazing. But it just... [sighs] It doesn't feel like home.
Rarity: [chuckling] Oh, is that all? Why, you simply need to decorate, darling. Make this space your own!
Twilight Sparkle: It's just so daunting! Look how big it is! I-I don't even know where to start!
Rarity: You can start by letting us do it for you. We will make this the castle of your dreams while you go to the Ponyville spa for some much needed rest and relaxation. I'm saying this with love, but... have you looked in a mirror lately? I've never seen you look this... mmmm...
Fluttershy: Frazzled?
Rarity: Yes! That is absolutely the word I was going to use.
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, I guess I do need a little help. And so does my castle. And I just know you'll do a great job, because nopony knows me better than you.
Applejack: We'll make this place feel cozier than hot cider on a rainy day.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] There's gonna be cider?! [beat] Uh, I mean, let's decorate!
Spike: Oh, no! Did I miss the pancakes?!
[toy squeaks]
Spike: I sleep like a baby under that cold, cavernous ceiling.
Rarity: Spike, I'm so glad you're here!
Spike: Really?
Rarity: Yes! You're taking Twilight to the spa!
Spike: Great! I've been meaning to get my claws done! [chews pancake] [with mouth full] Oh, you mean now. [chews]
Applejack: Come on, y'all! We've got work to do!
[Rainbow Dash]
Let's all work together
To make this castle shi-i-ine
[Rarity]
Once we add some sparkle
It'll feel, it'll feel, it'll feel...
[All]
It'll feel divine
[Applejack]
Crates of apples an' bales o' hay
Just makes ya feel at home
[Fluttershy]
Furry friends and some popinjays
So she won't be alone
[All]
And we'll make, and we'll make, and we'll make
This castle a home
[Pinkie Pie]
There's nothing like balloons and confetti
To greet you every time you walk through the door
[Rainbow Dash]
She'll need this and those
Posters of all my heroes
How could anypony awesome ever ask for more?
[All]
And we'll make, and we'll make, and we'll make
A home she'll adore
[Rarity]
Bright curtains of flowing silk and lace
[Rainbow Dash]
This picture of me winning a race
[Pinkie Pie]
Party cannons to give her a surprise
[Applejack]
Hoes and rakes and some more garden supplies
[Fluttershy]
Getting hugs from this nice, big, friendly bear
[Rarity]
Decorate with some gemstones bright and rare
[Rainbow Dash]
More of this and that
[Pinkie Pie]
Don't forget the party hats
[Rainbow Dash]
How could anypony awesome ask for more than that?
[Applejack]
Let's all work together
[Fluttershy]
To show that we have shown
[Rarity]
Princess Twilight Sparkle
[All]
How we make, how we make, how we make
This castle a home
How we make, how we make
This castle a home
How we make, how we make
This castle a home!
[balloon pops]
[animals chittering]
Applejack: [unconvincingly] Wow, girls! We did a... great job... together... [laughs nervously]
Rainbow Dash: We sure did... something.
Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously] Together.
Rarity: [simultaneously] All together.
[birds twittering]
Rainbow Dash: [unconvincingly] Fluttershy, I love that you brought so many animals.
Fluttershy: Are these your trophies?
Rainbow Dash: I prefer to think of them as everypony's trophies but with my name permanently etched onto them.
Rarity: [unconvincingly] [laughs] My my, Applejack, bringing the outdoors inside, it's... earthy... What a lovely touch! [sniffs, heaves] Are these quilts vintage?
Applejack: Nope, just old! Unlike your sparkly window doohickeys which are... why, they're just swell! [laughs nervously]
Pinkie Pie: No one said anything about my hidden confetti cannons! [squee] Oh, right! They're hidden! [giggles]
[door opens]
Spike: Hey guys, how do my claws look—Sweet Celestia!
Rarity: Oh, Spike! Are you and Twilight done already?
Spike: Don't worry, I ordered her the super-deluxe mane blow-out! She'll be a while. Man, this place looks terrible!
Main cast sans Twilight: Phew!
Fluttershy: Thank goodness somepony said something!
Rainbow Dash: It's pretty bad, right?
Applejack: This place looks like a mishmash of knickknacks.
Rarity: Hmm, I suppose it is a little cluttered.
Pinkie Pie: What are you guys talking about? I think it looks super fun!
[confetti cannon explodes]
[scared animal noises, myriad of thumps and crashes]
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Fluttershy: Oh! Oh, no! Please don't do that! If you all just take a deep breath and calm down—
[crunch]
Rarity: No! That bunting is embroidered by hoof! Don't you move one more paw!
[curtains ripping]
Rarity: Everypony, stop!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, now it's a mess.
[confetti cannon explodes]
Rainbow Dash: What're we gonna do?!
Spike: I dunno. But Twilight's blow-out won't take that long. If she was avoiding the castle before, she'll never set hoof in here now!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, guys, we've gotta do something! Twilight's counting on us!
Rarity: Spike, you've got to get back to that spa and stall her! Whatever you do, don't let her come home!
Spike: Like, forever? But we live here.
Rarity: Uh, yes, well, uh, maybe you could manage it 'til... sunset-ish? [bats eyelids]
Spike: Anything for you, Rarity...
Applejack: Okay, we all agree the castle is too cluttered, right? So why doesn't everypony take one of their own decorations out and we'll see how it looks?
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [general agreement]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you're back! How do I look?
Spike: Great!
Twilight Sparkle: And more importantly, how does the castle look?
Spike: Great?
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait to go home and see it!
Spike: Great! I mean, no! I mean, uh, I'm not... quite ready to go yet. Uh, why don't we have a massage? I was really hoping to get, uh... this thingy!
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] The 'Extra-strength-hot-stone-deep-tissue massage'?
Spike: [gulps] Yep!
Twilight Sparkle: I think I'll just have a traditional massage, but you go for it.
Aloe: Did somepony order massages?
[crash]
Bulk Biceps: Yeah! Let's do this, little dragon!
[crash]
Aloe: Oh, I hate it when he does that. Come with me, princess.
Applejack: Come on, Rarity. Everypony has taken somethin' out except you.
Rarity: Ooh, I know! I simply can't decide.
Rainbow Dash: How about this?
Rarity: No! Not that! Anything but that!
Rainbow Dash: How about these?
Rarity: Oh, but those brighten up the whole room! They're my favorite accent!
Rainbow Dash: Then let's lose the curtains! The room wouldn't need brightening if they weren't making it so dark!
Rarity: Not them! They're my favorite too!
Rainbow Dash: [growls] They can't all be your favorite! Okay, I'm taking down the portrait. We all know what we look like.
Rarity: [huffs] Well, the room still looks a little bit cluttered, doesn't it? Perhaps I'll take down a poster or two. Only to be helpful, of course!
Applejack: Okay, everypony calm down. I'm sure we can find a way to remove the clutter together.
Rarity: You're absolutely right, dear.
Applejack: Hey, those are my warmin' quilts!
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: Together!
[balloons popping]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy, tell your birds to stop pecking at my balloons!
Fluttershy: I guess they must not like being scared out of their wits by exploding confetti cannons or something.
Pinkie Pie: But we can't get rid of the cannons! I don't remember where I hid them.
[confetti cannon explodes]
Rarity: Allow me to help.
Applejack: Oh, no, I'll help you.
Rainbow Dash: Not if I help you first!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Great suggestion, Spike. I feel totally relaxed.
Spike: [joints cracking] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow...
Twilight Sparkle: You want to hop on? Maybe I can get us to the castle faster.
Spike: [cracks] Ow! I mean... how... nice is this day? I was hoping we could take the scenic way back.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know.
Spike: Come on. Walking is good for post-massage circulation.
Twilight Sparkle: Really? I've never heard that theory.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I really miss this place, Spike. We had so many wonderful memories here.
Spike: We did, didn't we...?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, I'm so sorry. Of course losing the Golden Oak Library was hard for you too. [beat] I've got an idea. Why don't we have the girls add some things to make the castle feel more like your home as well?
Spike: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Hop on!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Ow! What are you doing?
Spike: I, um... I just thought of what I want!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, okay. What is it?
Spike: It's a... well, I want a... it's... I kind of need a... a bed!
Twilight Sparkle: I thought you said you sleep like a baby in the castle.
Spike: [scoffs] Everypony knows babies are terrible sleepers. Let's go!
Rarity: There! Now nothing is cluttering the castle!
Rainbow Dash: You're right. There is literally nothing cluttering this castle.
Fluttershy: What do we do now?
Rarity: I hate to be the bearer of more bad news, but it's almost sunset. If we don't figure this out soon, it's going to look like we didn't lift a hoof to help her!
Rainbow Dash: Why is this so hard?! We're Twilight's best friends! This should be easy for us!
Applejack: She said it herself – if anypony should be able to make her feel comfortable in her new home, it's us. If we can't do it...
Fluttershy: Then Twilight will be stuck living in a castle that makes her feel... sad!
["sad" echoes out]
Pinkie Pie: Wow, Fluttershy! I didn't know you could be loud enough to echo!
Rarity: [muttering to herself] Can't believe I let go of the portrait... If it had just been me... [ducks under]
Pinkie Pie: What do we do? What do we do?! If Twilight comes home now, she'll be like "What did you guys do?" And we'll have to be like "Nothing!" And then she'll be like "I was counting on you! Some friends you are!" And we'll be like... [screams] [mocks crying]
Applejack: Calm down, Pinkie. We just need to figure out what we did wrong so we can make it right.
Rarity: Well, I didn't do anything wrong! I did exactly what I would do if this were my home!
Rainbow Dash: But it's not your home. It's Twilight's home!
Rarity: Where she keeps all her Rainbow Dash trophies?
Rainbow Dash: Touché.
Fluttershy: Maybe we're all a little guilty of making ourselves feel at home instead of Twilight.
Applejack: Come on, y'all. We just need to think about Twilight. What was it she'd loved about livin' in the Golden Oak Library?
Fluttershy: Oh, everything! The books, the smell of books, the joy she felt from organizing books...
Rainbow Dash: Remember that time I crashed into all those books attempting my sonic rainboom after you guys just cleaned up? [laughs, sighs] That was good times.
Applejack: Yeah, for you, maybe.
Rarity: Oh, and Applejack, remember when we were stuck having a sleepover there? That turned out to be so much fun!
Pinkie Pie: Remember the time it got blown up to smithereens?! Wait, no, that was the worst.
Applejack: We had a lot of good memories there, though. That's what made the Golden Oak Library home.
Rest of main cast sans Twilight: Yeah...
Applejack: [gasps] That's it!
Twilight Sparkle: How's that one? Too soft? Too hard? Too lumpy?
Spike: Um... Just right! I'll take it!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, thank goodness. I thought you'd never find one you liked! Let's find a salespony and get out of here.
Spike: Sounds good to meee—I... nn, um, uh, heh... did you hear that? [mimes squeaky springs] Too squeaky! Better keep looking!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Applejack: [sighs] Maybe my plan won't work after all.
Rarity: Of course it will, darling. I can see it! You and Fluttershy stay here. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, you come with me. We're going shopping! We'll meet back at the castle.
[Applejack]
It's not the things that ya gather 'round
[Fluttershy]
It's not how much you own
[Rarity]
The things that hold the meaning in your life
Are the memories you've sown
[All]
So we make, so we make, so we make
This castle a home
So we make, so we make
This castle a home
So we make, so we make
This castle a home!
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? We're home!
Rest of main cast: Welcome home!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I, uh... love what you've done with the place. You did such a good job of... preserving the integrity of the original design.
Spike: Aw, come on! It looks exactly the same! Do you know how hard it was to keep her from coming back here?! I never want to see another dust ruffle as long as I live!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Keep me from coming back here?
Rarity: [laughs nervously] It took a teensy bit longer than we thought.
Applejack: What really makes home feel like home isn't what it looks like. It's the memories you make when you're there.
Rarity: So we've made something that celebrates the memories we've made with you since you moved to Ponyville.
[doors open]
Fluttershy: The ornaments on the chandelier are reminders of all the fun we've had together.
Pinkie Pie: That one shows your party at the Golden Oak Library welcoming you to Ponyville!
Fluttershy: The time we shared donuts after the Grand Galloping Gala!
Rarity: We were hoping that being able to look at your beautiful old memories would inspire you to make new ones.
Applejack: And the best part of it is, it's made from the roots of the Golden Oak Library, so you'll never forget where you came from.
Twilight Sparkle: It's exactly what the castle needed. And I am ready to make new memories here.
Pinkie Pie: Then let's start right now with a new memory cake! Seven layer what's-that-flavor mystery surprise! These might be chocolate chips or they might be super-spicy black beans!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's go to the dining room. It's a little sparse, but [door opens] at least there's a table and chairs. Whoa! What happened in here? Last I checked, this place was empty!
Rarity: I couldn't help myself! It was just begging for the personal touch!
Applejack: Truth be told... I couldn't either. Your kitchen might have some rustic farm decor, Twilight.
Rainbow Dash: And there may or may not be some Daring Do posters up in your library.
Fluttershy: And some stuffed animals in your bedroom.
[confetti cannon explodes]
Twilight Sparkle: What was that?!
Applejack: [sighs] One of Pinkie Pie's confetti cannons.
Pinkie Pie: What? It's not my fault I hid them so well!
Main cast: [laughing]
Applejack: [simultaneously] Oh, Pinkie...
[credits]

Bloom & Gloom

[knocking]
Apple Bloom: Hear ye, hear ye! This meeting of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is now in session! Who wants to do roll-call?
[beat]
Scootaloo: I'm pretty sure we're all here.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah. Apple Bloom, what's this all about?
Apple Bloom: Oh, nothin'... except this letter from Babs Seed sayin' she's got her cutie mark!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: What?!
Apple Bloom: She says it's a pair of scissors!
Scootaloo: So... she's good at cutting stuff?
Sweetie Belle: Of course! She was always fussing with her bangs and tail! I'll bet she grows up to be a celebrity stylist!
Apple Bloom: But if she spends all her time cuttin' hair, who's gonna run the Manehattan CMCs?
Scootaloo: Well, not Babs. She can't be a Cutie Mark Crusader if she's already got her cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: Oh, wow. I guess you're right.
Sweetie Belle: I'm glad she's happy, but I sure wouldn't want to be up to my flank in mane hair all day. Can you imagine getting stuck with a cutie mark you didn't like?
Apple Bloom: No... or at least I hadn't...
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, Apple Bloom. Most of your family has apple-related cutie marks. I bet yours will be, too. And what's not to like about apples?
Scootaloo: There's the core, and sour apples, and rotten apples, and apples with worms in them— What?
Sweetie Belle: Not helping.
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: I guess I just spent so much time worryin' about how to get a cutie mark, I never even thought about what would happen after. There's just so many things I never considered.
Applejack: I'm sure there are, but you don't need to—
Apple Bloom: What if I finally get my cutie mark and I don't like it? What if I get my cutie mark and nopony likes me?
Applejack: Well, that's just ridicu—
Apple Bloom: What if the Crusaders drift apart? I mean, we won't really be the Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore! [gasps] What if it's not an apple?! Will I have to move out?! Where will I live?!
Applejack: All right, that's enough, sugarcube. Those are way too many questions to answer all in one night.
Apple Bloom: But—
Applejack: And nopony's gonna make ya move out.
Apple Bloom: Are you sure, Applejack?
Applejack: Of course, I'm sure. Now get some sleep. You'll see. Everything will be better in the mornin'.
Hush now, little sister
You're loved by all you know
You'll never lose their friendship
No matter where you go
There ain't no call to worry
So don't you cry or fret
A cutie mark won't change you
No matter what you get
[light clicks]
Apple Bloom: [yawns] No matter what I get.
Apple Bloom: [snoring]
[rooster crows]
Apple Bloom: Hoo-ee! Nothin' like a good night's sleep!
Applejack: [muffled] Breakfast!
Apple Bloom: You were right, Applejack! I feel much better! I don't know what I was so worried about last night!
Applejack: See, now what did I tell you? A good night's sleep'll fix just about an— Well, no wonder you were so worked up!
Apple Bloom: What? What is it?
Applejack: Looks like somepony got her cutie mark!
Apple Bloom: [gasps] I can't believe it! I got my cutie mark! I got my cutie mark! [rumbling and echoing] I got my cutie mark! Wait 'til I tell the others that my cutie mark is a... a... What is it?
Applejack: I have no idea what it means.
Pest Control Pony: [muffled] I know what it means! [breathing through gas mask] It means I can retire! [laughs]
Apple Bloom: Infestations? You mean like... parasprites?
Pest Control Pony: Hah, please. Anypony with a trombone can get rid of parasprites. I'm talking about the serious stuff! You ever hear of... twittermites?
[lightning cracks]
Apple Bloom: Twittermites?
Pest Control Pony: Pest ponies like you and me are the only things keeping these live wires from destroying half of Equestria!
Apple Bloom: Pest ponies?
Pest Control Pony: It's no easy trade! Even the best of us yearns for the day they can move on to greener pastures. Oh, now that you're here to take over, my day has finally come!
Apple Bloom: Take over?
Pest Control Pony: You're gonna need to stop repeating what I say and pay attention if you want to learn anything.
Apple Bloom: I'm sorry. I guess this just wasn't what I was expectin'.
Pest Control Pony: Don't worry. With a cutie mark like that I'm sure you've got the touch.
Apple Bloom: The touch? Oh, sorry.
Pest Control Pony: Now, you're gonna need to be quick. Once these things get out, it can get pretty shocking.
[twittermites buzzing]
Apple Bloom: Wait, what do you mean?
[zap!]
Apple Bloom: Ow!
Pest Control Pony: Hah, told you! And the further apart they spread, the more powerful these jolts will get!
Apple Bloom: What do I do?!
Pest Control Pony: Call 'em back, of course.
Apple Bloom: Twittermites! [whistles] [calling yelp]
[twittermites buzzing]
Apple Bloom: Twittermites!
[various zaps and vacuuming noises]
Apple Bloom: Bugbugbugbugbugbugbug!
[vacuuming noise]
Pest Control Pony: Well, looks like you're all set. Drop me a note sometime at the Piney Shade Retirement Community.
Apple Bloom: Now, hold on! I'm sure this job is real important, but... I don't think I wanna call bugs for the rest of my life. Hey, where'd he go?
Diamond Tiara: Well, well, well! Look at the new bug pony!
Apple Bloom: It's pest pony.
Silver Spoon: Eh, it sure is! Ew!
Diamond Tiara: I might've known you'd end up with the worst cutie mark ever!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
Silver Spoon: But look on the bright side! Whenever you need a friend, you can just go out and catch one!
Apple Bloom: That's not funny.
Diamond Tiara: Heeere, friendfriendfriendfriendfrieeend!
Apple Bloom: Stop it!
Silver Spoon: Here, bug! Here, bug! Will you be my friend, bug? Because nopony else will! [laughing]
Apple Bloom: You know what? My cutie mark isn't the worst! You two are!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: [laughing]
[glass cracking]
Apple Bloom: [sighs] I hate to think that Diamond Tiara is right, but... this cutie mark sure isn't what I was hoping for.
Mysterious Voice: Why should you have to keep it, then?
Apple Bloom: Who's there?! What do you mean?!
Mysterious Voice: If your cutie mark bothers you so much, get rid of it!
Apple Bloom: Well, if you know how to wave a hoof and erase a terrible cutie mark, you go right ahead!
Mysterious Voice: As easily said as done.
[wind blows]
Apple Bloom: Huh. Now that is some serious magic.
[ponies panicked]
Apple Bloom: Hey! Where's everypony goin'?!
[ponies panicked]
[Wilhelm scream]
Apple Bloom: Mayor! What's goin' on?!
Mayor Mare: Apple Bloom, you've got to get your family out of town!
[burst of electricity]
[twittermites buzzing]
Apple Bloom: Twittermites! [gasps]
[equipment clicking and clinking]
Apple Bloom: Twittermites! Here, bugbugbugbugbugbug!
[zap!]
Apple Bloom: Here, bugs!
[multiple zaps]
Apple Bloom: Come on, here!
Applejack: Apple Bloom! What in tarnation are you doin'?!
Apple Bloom: I'm tryin' to stop the infestation, of course!
Applejack: Only a pest pony can do that! Now come on! We gotta skedaddle!
Apple Bloom: But I've gotta do somethin'!
Applejack: Are you crazy?!
[twittermites buzzing]
[zap!]
Apple Bloom: [gasps]
[zap!]
Apple Bloom: Aaaaaaahhh!
[rooster crows]
[glass squeaking]
Apple Bloom: Whoo-ee. That's what I call a nightmare. It seemed so real.
Applejack: [muffled] Breakfast!
Apple Bloom: Applejack! You are not gonna believe the dream I just had! I guess I needed more sleep than I thought!
Applejack: See, now what did I tell you? A good night's sleep'll fix just about— [gasps] Well, no wonder you were so worked up!
Apple Bloom: What?
Applejack: Looks like somepony got her cutie mark!
Apple Bloom: Again?! I mean... I did? Woo-hoo! Potion making! Now that's more like it!
Applejack: More like what?
Apple Bloom: Never mind. I'm just glad Princess Twilight's lessons finally paid off!
Applejack: I expect you want to run off to the clubhouse and tell your friends all about your new cutie mark. But before you go, make sure you do all your... chores...?
[horseshoe clinking]
Apple Bloom: Whooo!
Scootaloo: Why all the excitement?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, what's going on?
Apple Bloom: [coyly] Oh, nothin'... except this brand new cutie mark!
Scootaloo: That's amazing!
Sweetie Belle: Wow!
Apple Bloom: I know!
Scootaloo: That's so cool!
Apple Bloom: I don't suppose either of you got yours?
Scootaloo: Nope.
Sweetie Belle: Me neither...
Apple Bloom: I know it's silly, but I'd always hoped we'd get our cutie marks together.
Scootaloo: Me too...
Sweetie Belle: But I'm still super excited for you!
Scootaloo: Absolutely!
Apple Bloom: I know! [knocks on podium] Let's call this meeting to order! I'm sure the three of us can figure out how to get two more cutie marks.
Sweetie Belle: Um, yeah... the thing is...
Apple Bloom: What?
Scootaloo: Well, you can't be a Cutie Mark Crusader if you've already got your cutie mark...
Apple Bloom: Oh, yeah... Just like Babs Seed... Well, I could just sit quietly in the corner 'til you two figure out what you're gonna do...
Sweetie Belle: Well, technically the clubhouse is for Crusaders only.
Apple Bloom: Oh. Right. I guess I should just come back later, then...?
Sweetie Belle: Why? I mean, you can't come in then either.
Apple Bloom: Oh.
Sweetie Belle: Rules are rules.
Scootaloo: I don't even think we're still supposed to be friends.
[door slams]
Apple Bloom: What?!
[creepy forest noises]
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo! Come on, fillies, this isn't funny!
[wind blows]
Mysterious Voice: More trouble with cutie marks?
Apple Bloom: No! I mean, w— yeah, I mean... Well, I got mine, but my friends didn't get theirs, and now there's all kinds of trouble!
Mysterious Voice: Sounds to me like cutie marks and trouble are two peas in the same pod.
Apple Bloom: I guess so... I mean, if I was a blank flank again, there wouldn't be a problem!
Mysterious Voice: Your wish is my command.
[wind blows]
[crunch]
Scootaloo: Hey, Apple Bloom. Why'd you want to meet here?
Apple Bloom: Well, us blank flanks have to meet somewhere!
Scootaloo: Um, actually, Apple Bloom, we... both sort of got our cutie marks.
Apple Bloom: You did?! What are they?
Scootaloo: Oh, we don't have time to go into all that.
Sweetie Belle: And we certainly don't have time to hang out at an old clubhouse.
Scootaloo: Yeah, we've got responsibilities now.
Sweetie Belle: But maybe we'll see you later.
Scootaloo: Much later.
Apple Bloom: Wait! Hold on! I can get my cutie mark back, I think! Rrgh! I mean, I got it once, right? Oh, just wait a second! Nooooooooooo!
[rooster crows]
Apple Bloom: What in Equestria's goin' on?!
Applejack: [muffled] Breakfast!
Apple Bloom: I'm not so sure sleep is the cure-all Applejack thinks it is.
Apple Bloom: Uh... Applejack? I know you said sleep is supposed to make me feel better, but I'm pretty sure it's makin' me feel worse.
Applejack: See, now what did I tell you? A good night's sleep'll fix— Well, no wonder you were so worked up...
Apple Bloom: Wh— Didn't you hear what I said?! I was trying to—
Granny Smith: Weeeell, what do we have here?
Apple Bloom: What is it, Granny? What's wrong?!
Granny Smith: Oh, nothin', right, Applejack?
Applejack: Right... Nothin' at all... Right, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Truth is, Apple Bloom, it's your cutie mark.
Applejack: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Oh, no! What is it now?!
[spotlights turning off then on]
Big McIntosh: [echoing] Well, I can tell you what it ain't. It ain't no apple.
Granny Smith: Nnope!
Apple Bloom: What?!
Applejack: [in Big McIntosh's voice] And we don't have room for non-apples.
Big McIntosh: [in Applejack's voice] Nnope.
Granny Smith: [in Big McIntosh's voice] Time for you to mosey on. You can't stay here.
Apple Bloom: But this is my home!
Big McIntosh: Oh, and you're gonna have to change your name.
Granny Smith: Eeyup!
Big McIntosh: I think just 'Bloom' has a nice ring to it, don't you, Applejack?
Applejack: Eeyup!
[wind blows]
Apple Bloom: Noooooooooo!
[thump]
Apple Bloom: Ugh!
Pinkie Pie: [gives rooster crow]
Apple Bloom: Alright, this is getting ridiculous. [pause] Whoo-ee! I never thought I'd be so happy to not get a cutie mark. What the?!
[music playing backwards]
Apple Bloom: [frustrated grunt] I don't wanna see another cutie mark as long as I live!
Mysterious Voice: Back so soon?
Apple Bloom: All right, whoever you are! I dunno what spell you went and cast on me, but I want it to stop right now!
Mysterious Voice: I didn't cast a spell, on you or anypony else. I only did what you wanted.
Apple Bloom: Rrrgh! Why would I want you to torment me with nightmares?!
Mysterious Voice: You didn't want to catch bugs, and I helped. You didn't want to lose friends, and I helped. If there's a problem with your family, I'm sure I can help with that too.
Apple Bloom: I don't want your help! Just get away from me!
Princess Luna: Oh, Apple Bloom, you can't get away from your own shadow.
Apple Bloom: Princess Luna?! My shadow? What do you mean? It's just me? You mean I've been doin' all this to myself?
Princess Luna: Of course, Apple Bloom. It's your dream.
Apple Bloom: If I've been dreamin' this whole time, why don't I just wake up?
Princess Luna: Sometimes we can worry about a thing so much, the fear can make us feel we're trapped in a nightmare. I don't suppose there's anything you're particularly afraid of, is there?
Apple Bloom: Yeah... I guess I've been pretty worried about gettin' my cutie mark.
Princess Luna: Well, that is the same as worrying about who you are. That is all a cutie mark is. If you cannot accept who you are, your life might seem like a bad dream. [blows]
Apple Bloom: But if I like who I am, do you think other ponies will too?
Princess Luna: Of course.
Apple Bloom: Then it doesn't matter what my cutie mark is!
Princess Luna: Indeed.
Apple Bloom: But that's so simple! I must be the only pony in the universe this worried about her cutie mark.
Princess Luna: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: [exhales] [inhales]
[cutie mark pinging]
[bucket clunking]
[door opens]
[Scootaloo's wings flapping]
[cutie mark pinging]
Scootaloo: [screams]
[plop]
Scootaloo: [hyperventilating]
Apple Bloom: Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are havin' nightmares too?
Princess Luna: It's been a busy night for us all, but I think it's time to bring it to a close.
[door opens]
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Princess Luna!
Princess Luna: I know you've all had a lot on your minds tonight, but I think Apple Bloom has something she'd like to share before you wake.
Sweetie Belle: We're still asleep?
Scootaloo: Cool!
Apple Bloom: Well, I guess I should call this dream meeting of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to order!
[podium honks]
Apple Bloom: I know we all got pretty anxious when we found out Babs got her cutie mark, but I for one don't want to have nightmares every night from now until we get ours!
Scootaloo: Me neither!
Apple Bloom: And even though we're all a little scared, a cutie mark won't change who we are or how everypony feels about us!
Sweetie Belle: It's lucky we're all scared of the same things. That way we can help and remind each other to just be who we are!
Princess Luna: And when the day comes that you all finally get your cutie marks, you can be sure they'll fit you to a T.
Apple Bloom: Exactly!
Scootaloo: Do you fillies think that Babs is worried or scared about some of this stuff?
Apple Bloom: I know! Let's put together a care package for her!
Sweetie Belle: That way she'll know she isn't alone!
Apple Bloom: We wouldn't want her to think that just because she isn't a Crusader, we can't still be friends! But, uh... maybe we should wait 'til we wake up.
Princess Luna: Good idea.
Apple Bloom: [gasps]
[rooster crows]
Apple Bloom: [sighs]
[pancakes splatting]
[Applejack]
There ain't no call to worry
So don't you cry or fret
[Apple Bloom]
A cutie mark won't change me
No matter what I get
Applejack: Well, sure looks like somepony's feelin' better.
Apple Bloom: You have no idea.
Applejack: See, now what did I tell you? A good night's sleep cures just about everythin'.
Apple Bloom: I guess so. I just wish it hadn't been so exhaustin'.
[credits]

Tanks for the Memories

Rainbow Dash: Look at that, Tank! Cloudsdale's here! That means Ponyville is next up for winter!
[ponies running]
Rainbow Dash: You're doing awesome, everypony! Keep it up! We need those leaves off those trees! Once we get autumn cleared away, it'll be hello, winter!
Tank: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: Was that a yawn I just saw?
Tank: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: How can you be tired when the most exciting time of the year is right around the corner? And don't forget the best part – our first winter together! Come on, wake up! Once those ponies bring in the big, fat clouds full of snowflakes, we'll have a ton of snow for our extreme sledding! [cheering] And over there, we can play horse hockey, with no shoulder or arm pads!
[imaginary crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Everything's looking great, don't you think?
Rainbow Dash: Almost everything. Does Tank look alright to you?
Tank: [yawns]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, he does seem to be moving a little slowly.
Rainbow Dash: I know, right?
Twilight Sparkle: And he looks kind of sleepy...
Rainbow Dash: Totally!
Twilight Sparkle: ...just like he always does.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, ha ha, I'm sure you're right.
Tank: [yawns]
[theme song]
[heart slowly thumping]
Rainbow Dash: Well?!
Fluttershy: I suppose his heartbeat could be a teensy-weensy-eensy bit slower than usual...
Rainbow Dash: Okay, so give him a vitamin or something!
Tank: [snoring] [yawns]
Fluttershy: I don't think he needs that.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe we're just staying up too late. Uh, too many Daring Do stories.
Fluttershy: Oh, that's not it either.
Rainbow Dash: Well, what's wrong with him then?!
Fluttershy: Nothing! He's perfectly fine.
Rainbow Dash: [relieved sigh]
Fluttershy: He's just going to hibernate.
Rainbow Dash: You do realize he's not a bear, right?
Fluttershy: [giggles] When the weather grows cold and less food is available, many animals hibernate to conserve energy. It's like taking a really long nap during winter, and then they wake up in spring. And see? Even tortoises do it! When the time comes, Tank will leave and dig into the ground.
Tank: [yawns]
Fluttershy: But don't worry. He'll reappear when the spring sun warms the ground back up.
Rainbow Dash: Come on! Tortoises don't hibernate! Somepony put that picture in there as a joke.
Fluttershy: It's not a joke.
Rainbow Dash: Well, then your book must be wrong!
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, Tank needs to hibernate. It's healthy for him, just like sleeping is healthy for us.
Rainbow Dash: [short laugh] Whatever. Okay, thanks. Come on, Tank.
Fluttershy: Where are you going?
Rainbow Dash: To get a second opinion from a real reptile expert.
Spike: I told you, Rainbow Dash, I'm a dragon!
Tank: [snoring]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! You're practically twins!
[beat]
Spike: I'm purple.
Rainbow Dash: But if you don't have to hibernate, why should Tank?!
Spike: Because he's a tortoise and I'm a dragon!
Rainbow Dash: Same family though, right?
Spike: No!
Rainbow Dash: I'll take that as a yes.
Spike: Ugh! Look, if Fluttershy says tortoises hibernate, then I guarantee tortoises hiber—
Rainbow Dash: Well, what would you know?! You're a dragon!
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: Nopony knows you like I do, Tank. All you need is some hard work to get the old blood pumping.
Tank: [snoring]
[thudding]
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Rainbow Dash: [huff] These things are heavy! Chock full of snowflakes! We're gonna have such a killer time in the snow, Tank. Tank? Tank!
Pinkie Pie: Aww, look at the cute wittle Tankie, all snuggly-wuggly, getting ready to hibern—
Rainbow Dash: Don't say that word!
Pinkie Pie: Which one? "Snuggly"? "Wuggly"? "Tankie"? "Hibernate"?
Rainbow Dash: That one!
Pinkie Pie: I was just saying how cute he—
Rainbow Dash: If you think hiber... – you know, that napping thing – is so cute, why don't you go do it?! Somewhere far away from here?!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: [to rest of Mane Six] What are you looking at?! Pinkie Pie and I are just having a conversation!
Twilight Sparkle: Look, Rainbow Dash, we all know how upset you are about Tank hiber—
Pinkie Pie: Shhhh! Don't say that word! That's what started this all!
Twilight Sparkle: We all know how upset you are about Tank. But you shouldn't take your anger out on your friends.
Rainbow Dash: Who said anything about anger?! I didn't say anything about anger! I'm not upset! And I am not angry! Do I look angry?! [grumbles] Come on, Tank! Let's get out of here!
Rainbow Dash: I need you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, not sleepy-eyed and scaly-tailed! Which... is exactly what you are. But get up anyway!
Tank: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: You can't hiber– you know. What about all the primo things we're gonna do together this winter? Building snow ponies, starting snowball fights, sipping hot cider by the fire.
Tank: [snores]
Rainbow Dash: Don't you wanna do those things with me?! Think, Rainbow Dash, think! Tank's only hibernating because it's cold, right? Well, I'd rather have him awake in the heat than asleep in the cold... [gasps] I just have to stop winter!
Sunshower: So where do these clouds go?
Open Skies: Over by Clear Skies.
Sunshower: But there's clear skies everywhere.
Clear Skies: Yo, Clear Skies right here!
Sunshower: But there's clear skies over there, too!
Clear Skies: That's Open Skies!
Sunshower: There's open skies everywhere!
Open Skies: I'm not everywhere. I'm right here!
Sunshower: [sighs] Wait. So you're Open Skies, and you're Clear Skies. Then what's all that?
Clear Skies and Open Skies: Open, clear skies!
Open Skies: Hey, where'd our fluffy clouds go?
Clear Skies: Fluffy Clouds? He's over there!
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Stopping winter is gonna be a breeze!
[tree creaking]
[splut]
[Rainbow Dash]
When life gives you lemons
You can make lemonade
But life gave me Tank here
And my choice has long been made
No winter will come to Ponyville
I'll do it on my own
I will keep you by my side
So I will not be alone
And I'll fly, and I'll fly
Until the end of the sky
So I'll be the one who doesn't
Have to say goodbye
I'll clear the skies forever
So we won't be apart
I'll keep the weather warm for you
And the winter will never start
Weather-makers Pegasi
You make the seasons in the sky
I don't want to sabotage you
But you see, I've got to try
No winter can come here now
I'll keep the warmth and the sun somehow
I'm sorry, ponies, this has to be
For I need my friend and he needs me
I know it's wrong, but what does it matter?
'Cause nothing's gonna stop me now
I'll change it all, it's only the weather
And nopony's gonna bring me down
I'll keep the sunlight shining free
And I'll bust the clouds apart so you can stay with me
And I'll fly, and I'll fly
Until the end of the sky
So I'll be the one who doesn't
Have to say goodbye
I'll clear the skies forever
So we won't be apart
I'll keep the weather warm for you
And the winter will never start!
Tank: [yawns]
Sunshower: Here comes the next shipment! Move those clouds over!
[metal raking noise]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! For every hoof step back, they go three hoof steps forward! What are we gonna do? [long pause] Cloudsdale. That's it, Tank! If I can't stop winter in Ponyville, maybe I can stop it at the source!
[click]
[Mission Impossible-style music]
Tank: [yawns]
[whistle blows]
[doors open, ponies chatting]
Rainbow Dash: Lunch hour! Perfect!
[screws squeaking]
[crash]
[locker door creaking]
[door opens and closes]
[multiple thuds]
[door opens and closes]
[bubbling]
Rainbow Dash: The winter lab. We're in, Tank! Now we just gotta figure out a way to shut it down. Sabotage snowflakes? I think we gotta go bigger than that. Wait here. Hmm. We could get rid of these clouds, but... that's still not big enough. [blows air]
[bubbling]
Rainbow Dash: Slam dunk! With no water, they can't make clouds or snow! They can't make winter!
[magnifying glass clanking]
Rainbow Dash: I hate to do this to those weather ponies, but desperate times call for desperate measures!
[metal straining, water rushing]
Rainbow Dash: Oopsies! Looks like these were a little loose!
[water gurgling]
Rainbow Dash: And there goes winter down the drain!
[clicking, powering-up whine]
[fan spinning]
[clank]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I can't see!
[wind blowing]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Aaaaaah!
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: [groan]
[jar rocking]
[jar smashing]
[electric zaps]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[electric zaps]
[pumping noises]
[lightning zapping]
Rainbow Dash: Let's get out of here!
[clank, air rushing]
[pressure building]
[electric zaps]
Applejack: What in the name of Celestia's goin' on up there?
Twilight Sparkle: Prepare yourselves, everypony! Winter is coming!
[wind blowing]
Noteworthy: [Wilhelm scream]
Parasol: [screaming]
[valve squeaking]
[pressure building]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony, look out!
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
[kaboom!]
[spluts]
Pinkie Pie: [groaning]
Rarity: [groaning]
Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
Fluttershy: [groaning]
[pop!]
Rainbow Dash: [groaning] You okay, Tank?
Tank: [yawns]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Are you alright?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] No...
Tank: [yawns]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Knock, knock!
Fluttershy: How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [despondently] Whatever...
Rarity: The poor thing looks so sad! Just what are we doing to do?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what we can do.
Applejack: Buck up, Sugarcube. You just ain't yourself these days.
Rainbow Dash: [despondently] Whatever...
Rarity: Uh, how can I say this tactfully...? You've lost your sparkle, Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie: I hate to say this, but, well... you've become...! [hushed] A party pooper!
Rainbow Dash: Didn't you hear me? I said 'whatever'. I don't know if you're here to cheer me up or what, but I'm fine.
Fluttershy: Let me handle this. Rainbow Dash, your winter is going to be pet-less.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: [sobbing]
Rarity: Whatever did you do that for?!
Fluttershy: Because she'll never get past this until she lets it all out.
Rainbow Dash: [more sobbing]
Applejack: [awkwardly] Uh... it's okay. Tank'll come back in a few months.
Rainbow Dash: Months?! [crying] I don't want him to go! [continues sobbing under]
Applejack: Alright, alright. There, there. [hushed, to Fluttershy] Nice going, Fluttershy. How do we get her to stop?
Fluttershy: [hushed] She's got to be about done by now. Can't be too much left in there.
Rainbow Dash: [more crying, then stops]
Fluttershy: Feeling better?
Rainbow Dash: [sniffs] Uh-huh. [suddenly resumes crying]
Fluttershy: Oh, you poor, poor thing... [starts crying]
Rarity: [starts crying] I can't bear to see Fluttershy cry!
Pinkie Pie: [starts crying] It's just heart-wrenching!
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [crying hysterically]
Twilight Sparkle: [to Applejack] You too?!
Applejack: Nope, I'm good.
Twilight Sparkle: Look, everypony, I know how hard it is to say goodbye—
Pinkie Pie: [crying] I'm mostly sad because you're not sad!
Twilight Sparkle: What?! Me?! What about Applejack?
Pinkie Pie: [crying] Applejack cries on the inside, Twilight!
Applejack: It's true.
Rainbow Dash: [settling down] It's alright, Fluttershy. It's alright.
Applejack: [hushed] You think she's done or just getting a third wind?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know... Rainbow Dash? Are you okay?
Rainbow Dash: [sniffling] I think so. I feel better. Really, I do. Thanks, everypony. I don't know what I'd do without you. [tearing up] Or him... [sniffs] Oh, Tank... I'm sure gonna miss you.
[sledding and skating noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, guess we're starting winter with a bang.
Applejack: The fun's come early! Yee-haw!
[splut]
Pinkie Pie: You think we could mess up winter every year? It's way less work!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I don't think Rainbow Dash could handle it.
Rainbow Dash: Riding that entire season from Cloudsdale to Ponyville was pretty awesome.
Tank: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: I thought you guys might like to say goodbye to Tank. He's ready to hibernate.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, you're using the word! Oh, she's using the word! And when Tank finishes hibernating, I'm gonna throw him the biggest welcome home party ever! Or wait. Should it be a 'welcome above ground' party? Or a 'happy wake-up' party? Maybe an 'it's about time!' party!
Rarity: And I'll design him a very special suit just for the occasion, whichever one it ends up being.
Applejack: I'm glad you're feelin' a little better, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, me too.
[digging in snow]
Rainbow Dash: So, you really wanna do this hibernating thing, huh?
Rarity: Goodbye, Tank.
Fluttershy: Happy winter.
Applejack: See you later, little feller.
Pinkie Pie: Have a good sleep, Tank!
Twilight Sparkle: Goodbye, Tank! We'll miss you!
[snow sliding]
Twilight Sparkle: Well? Ready for some winter fun?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I'm gonna hang here and read to him a bit. That little guy can never get to sleep without a bedtime story. I'll be right there.
[credits]

Appleoosa's Most Wanted

Apple Bloom: Aren't you glad y'all came with me to see Applejack compete in the Appleloosa rodeo?
Scootaloo: Totally! This place is a cutie mark gold mine! There's barrel racing...
[klonks]
Scootaloo: ...roping contests, rodeo clowning...
[thwack]
Scootaloo: ...steeplechase...!
Apple Bloom: If we can get into some of these events, we could all three walk off the train back in Ponyville with brand spankin' new cutie marks!
Scootaloo: Wouldn't a barrel look good here?
Apple Bloom: I want a lasso!
Sweetie Belle: I don't know... All these events look a little, well, dangerous.
Apple Bloom: No risk, no reward.
Sheriff Silverstar: Alright, everypony, listen up! We need a big presence at this here rodeo, so make yourself plenty seen! I want that low-down varmint to know we mean business!
Sweetie Belle: I hope nothing bad is going on.
Apple Bloom: A cutie mark-apalooza and a low-down varmint? This is shapin' up to be the most excitin' rodeo ever!
Scootaloo: Yeah, come on!
[Western harmonica riff]
[theme song]
[bale being tossed]
Braeburn: Woo-hoo! Yee-haw! That's my cousin! Go, Applejack, go!
Applejack: Whew! It's been a dog's age since I got to compete. All the rodeos 'round Ponyville are closed down for some reason.
Braeburn: Well, I guess havin' injured kinfolk in Appleloosa sure paid off then, huh, cuz?
Applejack: Just doin' my best to fill your horseshoes, Braeburn.
Braeburn: Keep tossin' like that and I'll be out of a job!
[poink!]
Braeburn: Ow, ow!
Applejack: Ooh, sorry. Say, where's my sister and her friends?
Braeburn: Uh-oh. Gee, uh, I guess I got so caught up watchin' you that I—
Applejack: You said you'd keep an eye on those fillies! How am I supposed to focus on practicin' if you're not gonna—
Braeburn: There they are! Heh, right where I left 'em... Aw, don't be mad! [beat] Owwwwch! My foreleg! Hurts so much...!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Applejack: Y'all can't go runnin' off like that, y'hear? Backstage at a rodeo ain't no kind of playground!
Apple Bloom: Sorry, Applejack. We won't wander off again. But, uh, speakin' of the rodeo... what would you say about me and the Crusaders maybe competin' in one teensy-weensy little event or three?
Braeburn: Look out!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [yelps]
[myriad thumps]
Applejack: [gasps] What the hay just happened?
Braeburn: You fillies alright?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Uh-huh...
Sweetie Belle: [simultaneously] Yeah...
Sheriff Silverstar: Sugar and salt licks! Well, I'll be...
Applejack: What is it, Sheriff?
Braeburn: Is it him?
Sheriff Silverstar: Ain't no doubt. It's Trouble Shoes.
Caramel: [Western harmonica riff]
Sheriff Silverstar: [surprised snort]
Crowd: [shouting]
Townspony 1: Is it true? Is Trouble Shoes here?
Townspony 2: You ain't gonna shut down the rodeo, are ya?!
Sheriff Silverstar: All right now, I called for a meetin', not a mob scene. Now, as many of you know, the Equestria rodeo circuit has been plagued by the dirty dealin's of a notorious outlaw.
Townspony 3: He knocked barrels every which way at the Hoof City rodeo! Nearly crushed my Aunt Bae Mare!
Townspony 4: That's nothin'! He sabotaged the steer pen at Pinto Creek rodeo, settin' off such a stampede they cancelled the whole dadgum thing!
Crowd: [shouting]
Sheriff Silverstar: Now, now, it's true we had an incident this mornin' at our own Appleloosa rodeo. Hay bale stack came down right near on top of three little fillies! I examined them hoof-prints myself and, uh... it was Trouble Shoes, all right.
Crowd: [gasps]
Sheriff Silverstar: I reckon I oughta cancel this rodeo like all the others done. But dag-hoof it, this has gone far enough! We'll double the patrols! This rodeo will go on! Appleloosa ain't gonna be intimidated!
[ponies cheering]
Apple Bloom: Glad that's settled. So, uh, Applejack, about me and my pals competin' in the rodeo... [nervous chuckle]
Apple Bloom: Don't send us home! It's not fair!
Applejack: Now, quit yer bellyachin'. I can't have y'all around here with some outlaw on the loose. Aw, maybe I oughta call it quits and go home too.
Braeburn: No, you can't! This rodeo is important to Appleloosa! And with you in there, we got a real shot at winnin'! Come on, now, you head on back to practice and don't worry none about these three. I won't let 'em outta my sight.
[door slams, locks click, chair drags]
Braeburn: [to Crusaders] Ya hear? Y'all ain't leavin' my sight!
Braeburn: [snores]
[window opens]
Sweetie Belle: I thought we weren't going to wander off again.
Apple Bloom: This ain't wanderin'. We know exactly where we're headed – to find Trouble Shoes!
Sweetie Belle: But isn't he a dangerous criminal?
Apple Bloom: We only need to find him. We don't need to capture him. The sheriff can handle that!
Scootaloo: And once he's in jail, we'll be competing! And then it's...
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Cutie mark city!
Sweetie Belle: Worst idea ever.
[owl hoots]
Apple Bloom: It's another giant hoof print!
Sweetie Belle: Do either of you have any idea where we are?
[lightning cracks]
[rain starts falling]
Scootaloo: Uh, maybe we should head back and try again later.
Apple Bloom: C'mon, before we lose the trail!
[lightning cracks]
Sweetie Belle: [high-pitched squeal]
Sweetie Belle: Come on, we've gone far enough! It's time to go back!
Scootaloo: The rain is only getting worse, Apple Bloom! Let's come back tomorrow.
Apple Bloom: Maybe y'all are right. So, how do we get back?
Sweetie Belle: You mean you don't know?!
[lightning cracks]
Applejack: Whew! Good job, y'all. I know they need lots of mud for the rodeo tomorrow, but I wish they would've warned us about this rainstorm.
Braeburn: [whinnies]
Applejack: Braeburn? Where are the girls?
Braeburn: [nervous laugh]
Applejack: [echoing] What?!
Sheriff Silverstar: Ha! Fish my wish!
Star Spur: Aw!
Senior Deputy: Dagnabbit!
Applejack: Sheriff Silverstar! You gotta help! My sister's gone! And her friends too!
Braeburn: I've searched and searched, but no sign of 'em anywhere!
Applejack: It must've been Trouble Shoes!
Sheriff Silverstar: Now, now, hold on there. Trouble Shoes done a lot of bad things in his day, but nothin' like that!
Applejack: You really wanna take that chance?
Sheriff Silverstar: Come on, y'all! Let's ride!
Sweetie Belle: You sure about this, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: I thought I was, but now I'm not.
Apple Bloom: So I pretty much got us completely and totally lost. How could this get any worse?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [screaming]
[splash]
Apple Bloom: We gotta get out of this rain. There's no tellin' how long this storm could last.
Scootaloo: Look!
Apple Bloom: It looks abandoned. Let's go see if we can find some blankets or somethin'.
[door creaking]
[lightning cracks]
[hoofsteps falling]
[door creaking]
[lightning cracks]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [screaming]
Trouble Shoes: [screaming]
[multiple crashes]
Trouble Shoes: [multiple exclamations of surprise and pain]
[thwack]
[tinnitus]
Trouble Shoes: [groaning]
Apple Bloom: [through tinnitus] Hello? You alright?
Trouble Shoes: Surely.
Apple Bloom: We didn't mean no harm. We just came in to get out of the rain.
Trouble Shoes: Had some hot cider a-cookin' in the kitchen. Doubt it survived.
[clang]
Trouble Shoes: I ain't gonna rise to greet y'all. Awfully rude, I reckon, but as you can see, I'm the fresh casualty of an unusually unfortunate circumstance. My lot in life, I suppose.
Apple Bloom: Are you... Trouble Shoes?
Trouble Shoes: That's me.
Scootaloo: W-what are you doing?
Apple Bloom: I'm gonna unwrap him.
Sweetie Belle: You can't do that! That's Trouble Shoes!
Apple Bloom: Aw, he don't seem so bad.
[lightning cracks]
Trouble Shoes: Of course guests would arrive while I ain't got no pie to offer. Scores more misfortune points for old Trouble Shoes. Wh-whooaaa!
[crash, bonks]
Trouble Shoes: Typical. Bad luck never rests.
Apple Bloom: You sure that's bad luck? Seems like maybe you're just a little, um...
Sweetie Belle: Klutzy?
Trouble Shoes: Tell that to the flank! Upside-down horseshoe – bad luck. Follows me wherever I go like sour on old milk. Y'all best vamoose before my bad luck rubs off and sticks to y'all. Get along! Skedaddle!
[lightning cracks]
Trouble Shoes: Am-scray!
Scootaloo: Um, we don't really know the way back to Appleloosa...
Trouble Shoes: But o' course I do. Wouldn't you know it? My lucky day.
Sweetie Belle: It's actually kind of sweet of him to help us out like this.
Scootaloo: I know! What do we do if he takes us back to Appleloosa and the sheriff arrests him? If I get a cutie mark for that, I'll feel guilty every time I see it.
Apple Bloom: Say there, Trouble Shoes, you might not want to take us all the way back to Appleloosa. The sheriff sort of has it in his mind that you're a no-good outlaw lookin' to shut down the rodeo.
Trouble Shoes: My kind of luck he'd think that.
Apple Bloom: But... is it true?
Trouble Shoes: Y'all like stories?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm!
Trouble Shoes: Just my luck. I was hopin' you'd say no. [narrating flashback] When I was a colt, I wanted to be a rodeo star somethin' fierce, but I just didn't seem to have the knack for it.
[thwack]
Young Trouble Shoes: Whoooa!
Buffalo: [laughing]
Young Trouble Shoes: [grunting] Awww!
Buffalo: [laughing]
Trouble Shoes: [narrating] I practiced and practiced...
Young Trouble Shoes: Whoooa-oof!
Trouble Shoes: [narrating] And finally, I wrangled up the guts to audition for rodeo school. Right in the middle of that tryout, I knew I was doin' what I was meant to. And wouldn't you know it? In a flash comes this here cutie mark.
[whip lashing noise]
[thunk]
Judges: [laughing]
Trouble Shoes: [narrating] I can still remember them judges a-laughin'. Didn't even finish my routine 'cause right then I knew bad luck was my fate. That fire for rodeo never did leave me, though. Couldn't keep away from 'em. So I'd sneak down and have a look, and wouldn't you know it? Bad luck would strike again. Just my lot in life, I reckon...
Sweetie Belle: Poor Trouble Shoes. I can't believe those mean judges would laugh at him like that.
Apple Bloom: Don't you see? They weren't laughin' at him. They were just enjoyin' the show.
Scootaloo: What are you saying?
Apple Bloom: Think about it. If we saw a rodeo clown doin' what he did back in that shack, we'd think he was the greatest!
Sweetie Belle: You're right! He could still be in rodeos, just not the way he thought!
Scootaloo: So he's been looking at his cutie mark wrong the whole time! It's not bad luck, it's—
Sheriff Silverstar: Gotcha!
Trouble Shoes: Just my luck.
Sheriff Silverstar: Trouble Shoes, you're under arrest for vandalizin' the property and peace of mind of the good rodeo-lovin' ponies of Equestria! Not to mention fillynappin'! And... generalized mayhem!
Apple Bloom: Wait!
Applejack: Braeburn? Get these fillies someplace safe.
Apple Bloom: Wait, no! Listen, Applejack!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: No!
Apple Bloom: But Trouble Shoes isn't the menace everypony thinks!
Applejack: Sakes alive, what's with you? Why in tarnation would you want me to help get him out of jail when he's the one who ran off with y'all to begin with?! Now if y'all excuse me, I'm off to win the Appleloosa rodeo hay bale monster stack.
Apple Bloom: Um, Applejack?
[door closes]
Trouble Shoes: [sighs] Well, at least I get me a view of one small corner of the rodeo.
[bed creaking, crash]
Trouble Shoes: Figures.
Sheriff Silverstar: Aw, come on now, Trouble Shoes! I'm runnin' out of mattresses!
[magic fizzling]
[keys jingling]
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Come on, sheriff! You're about to miss the hay bale monster stack!
Sheriff Silverstar: Jiminy, that's startin' already?!
[jail door opens]
Apple Bloom: Let's go, Trouble Shoes! This here's a jailbreak!
Trouble Shoes: Ain't no need. Can hear the rodeo just fine from this vantage.
Scootaloo: But we've got a plan to help you live your dream!
Trouble Shoes: Listen, y'all, I'm a known criminal. How you proposin' on gettin' me into a rodeo?
[bed creaks and clatters]
[crowd cheering]
[bale being kicked]
Apple Bloom: Go, Applejack!
Scootaloo: [simultaneously] You can do it!
Sweetie Belle: [simultaneously] Woo-hoo!
Trouble Shoes: Well, how do I look?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Trouble Shoes: Come on now, stack them bales! Woo-hoo!
[bale being kicked]
[crowd gasps]
[crowd cheers]
Apple Bloom: That's my sister!
[entertainment music starts, crowd laughs]
Apple Bloom: 'Kay now, Trouble Shoes, you're on!
Trouble Shoes: Say what?! I may be dressed like one, but I ain't no rodeo clown.
Apple Bloom: You got your cutie mark all wrong, Trouble Shoes! You were born to entertain! You've got a gift for makin' folks laugh, don't you?
Trouble Shoes: But my cutie mark's an upside-down horseshoe, and that means bad luck.
Sweetie Belle: That all depends on how you look at it.
Apple Bloom: You always wanted to be a part of the rodeo, right? Well, now's your chance. Go on!
Trouble Shoes: Whoa!
[boing!]
[crowd laughs]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheering]
Applejack: There y'all are! How 'bout your big sis, huh?
Apple Bloom: [flatly] Yeah, way to go.
Applejack: Since when are y'all so into rodeo clowns?
[crashes]
[crowd laughs]
Trouble Shoes: Just leave me be, cutie mark! I aim to clear that there hoop!
[crowd laughs]
[crashing]
Trouble Shoes: [muffled grunts] Come on now! [grunting]
[multiple plops]
[click, slide whistle]
[crowd laughs]
Applejack: That's the best rodeo clown I ever seen! [laughs]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheering]
[pop]
[muffled laughing]
[splash]
[pop]
[crowd gasps]
Crowd: Trouble Shoes!
Applejack: What the hay?!
Female Townspony #1: He escaped from jail!
Male Townspony #1: Ruinin' another rodeo!
Female Townspony #2: Let's get him!
[crowd shouting]
Apple Bloom: Wait, y'all! He ain't what you think he is!
Sheriff Silverstar: Stand aside, young'uns! This one's goin' back to jail.
Sweetie Belle: But he never wanted to ruin any rodeos! Those were just bad accidents!
Applejack: Sweetie Belle, what are you talkin' about?
Scootaloo: Trouble Shoes has a gift for making ponies laugh! He's maybe the best rodeo clown I've ever seen!
Judge: That's true! He is awful funny.
Apple Bloom: He thought his cutie mark was telling him to keep away from rodeos, but deep inside he knew it's where he was meant to be. He just didn't know how to do it.
[crowd muttering]
Trouble Shoes: What she says is true. This here entertainin' y'all with my klutzin'? That's what I was supposed to be doin'. I know it now. I didn't mean no harm, honest! I just ain't never loved nothin' like I love the rodeo, so I kept on sneakin' back and makin' a big old mess of things. Turns out I was just a-lookin' at my cutie mark all wrong.
Sheriff Silverstar: That may be so, Trouble Shoes, but you still gotta face charges for the problems you've caused!
Trouble Shoes: If I done wrong, I'll see to it that I take my medicine and square my accounts.
Sheriff Silverstar: Truth be told, we could understand all the trouble with the rodeos, but why'd you have to run off with these here little'uns last night?
Apple Bloom: Uh, yeah, about that...
[barrel rolling]
[sweeping]
Apple Bloom: [sighs] You really want us to clean up all this mess Trouble Shoes made?
Applejack: Maybe it'll teach you not to go wanderin' off after I say not to!
Apple Bloom: Ugh. Ain't it bad enough that you get to go back to Ponyville with a shiny trophy, and all we're bringing back is these same old blank flanks?
Applejack: Y'all helped Trouble Shoes realize what his cutie mark really means. Ain't that a nice feelin' you can take back with you?
Sweetie Belle: I guess we did make things a little better.
Scootaloo: It does feel kinda nice.
Apple Bloom: So... we can stop now?
Applejack: Nnope.
[credits]

Make New Friends but Keep Discord

Discord: Ohoho, but that's not all! When I went to look for them again, they were on the ceiling!
Fluttershy: [laughs] Oh, Discord, I've never known anypony as funny as you! I love that story about the time you tried to train your right paw... [giggles] ...to fetch your left leg! [giggles] Oh, I do love our Tuesday teas, and I can't wait for you to meet my friend Tree Hugger. She's going to love you too.
Discord: Tree Hugger? [laughs]
Fluttershy: I met her on a trip to see the Breezies. She's a member of the Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures.
Discord: How nice for you. [chews teacup]
Fluttershy: We're all gonna have so much fun together at the Grand Galloping Gala!
Discord: Oh, I was wondering when you were going to ask me. I'd love to.
Fluttershy: Oh. Oh, no. Um, I'm afraid I've already asked Tree Hugger. I'm sorry, Discord. I assumed you'd have your own ticket since you and Princess Celestia are friends now. Were you not invited?
Discord: Who, me? It probably got lost in the mail. No biggie, as the foals say. Well, gotta go!
Fluttershy: But we haven't had any of our Tuesday teacakes.
Discord: Well, I guess we're just going to have to exclude them from our party this time. Oh, did I say that out loud? I mean, ta-ta.
[thud]
[theme song]
Spike: [snoring] Gemstones... [snoring] Gah!
Discord: Where's Twilight?
Spike: Uh, she's in Canterlot, helping Princess Celestia with the Gala!
[magic poof]
Spike: [nervous noises]
Rarity: Oh, your first Grand Galloping Gala! The excitement, the anticipation! I wouldn't miss this for all the jewels in Equestria!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [singsong] We're going to the Gala! We're going to the Gala! We're going to the Gala!
Applejack: Alright, y'all, keep it down. It ain't like it's a life-changin' experience or nothiiiiing... [tearing up] My little sister's all grown up! [sniffs] [blows nose]
Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling] This is gonna be the best night ever! [screams]
Discord: I don't suppose that, uh, these adorable little cutie pies have their own tickets to the Gross Gruesome Gala, do they?
Apple Bloom: [blows raspberry]
Rarity: Ahem! To answer your rather rude question, they're going as our dates, our plus-ones.
Sweetie Belle: [singsong] We're plus-ones!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [singsong] We're plus ones! We're plus-ones!
Discord: Yes, yes, yes, I believe I got that!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie: Have a wonderful, special, fantastic day! Oh, hi, Discord. Want some cake?
[!]
Pinkie Pie: I can give you a list of all the flavors we have in order of most delicious to incredibly, unbelievably delicious!
Discord: Actually, Pinkie Pie, who are you taking to... I mean, do you... eugh, oh, you know what? I am famished. I'll take all the cakes.
Pinkie Pie: All of them?! He wants all of the cakes!
[kitchenware clattering]
Discord: Well, I'll need all my energy when I'm dancing at the Gala, if I decide to go that is. Oh, by the way, are you bringing anypony?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, of course! I was gonna ask my mom, because she's, you know, my mom, but it turned out she didn't want to go, so I started asking around and around and around, and I couldn't think of anypony, and I was about to just go by myself, and I realized, of course! Who loves fancy exciting affairs more than anypony else? My sister Maud!
Discord: You know what? Cancel my order.
[magic poof]
Pinkie Pie: You want none of the cakes now?!
Fluttershy: [laughing] Oh, my, you are funny!
Discord: I guess every being in Equestria is funny today.
Fluttershy: Oh, how rude of me. Tree Hugger, this is Discord. Discord, Tree Hugger.
Tree Hugger: Radical to meet you. Really digging your vibe.
Discord: My vibe?
Fluttershy: It's a compliment.
Discord: Oh, well, I'm sure it is. Well, I must be off.
[magic poof]
Discord: It has nothing to do with seeing you or not seeing you. You can rest assured of that. [laughs]
[magic poof]
Discord: Have fun at the Gala!
[magic poof]
Tree Hugger: Righteous!
Discord: "Oh, Tree Hugger. You're such a great friend. So much funnier than unfunny old Discord!"
[door slams]
[glass shatters]
Discord: "No, no, here. Take my plus-one. I insist. Before somepony else thinks he's my friend and expects to be asked instead. What's that? You're worried Discord might be upset?" Not a problem! I can make more new friends anytime I want. It's not as if any of this actually mattered! I don't even want to go to the Gala anyway!
Parcel Post: [yelping]
Discord: Are you perhaps looking for me?
Parcel Post: Are you "Discord or current resident"? I can't find any street numbers in this place.
Discord: My ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala! I was invited after all!
[beat]
Discord: [grimly] Why is this so late?
Parcel Post: Well, I got a little lost after I escaped the flying badgers... Can you point me in the direction of the bottomless pit? I think I can make my way back from there.
Discord: Oh, over there. Somewhere. Just go over there. Looks like I'll see you at the Gala after all, Fluttershy. But I can't show up alone. She'll think that she's my only friend. Who could I bring on such short notice? [snaps fingers] [giggles]
Princess Celestia: I must say, it's been very nice having you take over some of the planning responsibilities for this year's Gala.
Twilight Sparkle: Anything I can do to make it easier on you.
Princess Celestia: Thank you, Twilight. I am quite looking forward to just enjoying the Gala for once.
[fanfare]
Announcer: Announcing the spirit of chaos, Discord, and his guest, the, uh...
Discord: [unintelligible whispering]
Announcer: The Smooze!
The Smooze: [slithering]
Ponies: [gasp]
Discord: Good evening, everypony! What a glorious affair!
The Smooze: [slurp]
Discord: He does have a yen for shiny things, the rascal.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll take care of this.
The Smooze: [belches]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] What are you doing here with... that?!
Discord: Now, now, now. The Smooze may be an "it", but it's an it with a heart of, well, blob.
The Smooze: [slithering]
Twilight Sparkle: This night is extremely important to me, Discord. [through gritted teeth] Keep it under control!
Discord: Yes, yes, yes, of course. Tell me, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We're here! We're here! We made it to the Gala!
Fluttershy: [giggles] Really? [giggles]
Tree Hugger: The aura coming off the waterfall was so alive! So, like, magic manifestation.
Fluttershy: Wow.
Discord: Oh, Fluttershy. I didn't see you there.
Fluttershy: How did you even know to look for an aura on a waterfall?
Discord: [clears throat irritably, hacks, coughs]
Fluttershy: Discord! I thought you weren't coming!
Discord: No. I actually never said that. But funny how you remembered it that way. Anyway, good to see you. Tree Friend, is it? Your name is slipping my mind right now. How strange.
Tree Hugger: Nice to meet you. I'm Tree Hugger. Blessings.
Discord: You have met me before actually! [snorts]
Tree Hugger: Cool! Like, in another life, maybe?
Discord: You've gotta be kidding. You don't remember me?
Tree Hugger: [laughs] I meet a lot of different creatures, each one of them perfect and unique.
Discord: Yes, well, as I was saying, it's just great to be here with my oldest, bestest friend.
Fluttershy: Am I really your oldest, bestest friend?
Discord: You? [laughs] Of course not! You think I don't have other friends? I'm centuries old! I was talking about the Smooze! Smooze Face, the Smoozinator – well, I mean that's what we called him back in college. Smooze! I would like you to meet Fluttershy and, um, hmm... Tree... how'd you say it... Tree Embrace?
Tree Hugger: Oh, I like that! It's so in rhythm with my life force! [gasps] Maybe I'll change it!
[splat!]
Fluttershy: [giggles] I can't believe I've never heard you speak of the Smooze before. Sounds like you two are so close.
Discord: Well, I'm glad you got that, because that's what is true. We are.
[magic poof]
Discord: Very close.
Fluttershy: That's wonderful! The four of us should go out to dinner sometime!
[splat!]
Discord: We should all go out to dinner sometime?! Have you no heart?
Pony: [screams]
Discord: Oh, oh! It looks like somepony wants to mingle. We'll be back in a bit.
Fluttershy: Oh, okay. Treezie and I would love to talk to you more later!
Discord: Treezie? Really? Sort of a juvenile nickname, don't you think?
[smashing glass]
Pony: [screams]
Discord: Smoozie! Wait up!
Discord: Now, listen, Smooze. I need to make this a party of one for a little while. Just stay out here until I come for you.
[door slams, lock clicks]
Apple Bloom, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo and Tree Hugger: [laughing]
[magic poof]
Discord: [laughing loudly]
Tree Hugger: What's so funny?
Discord: Exactly!
Rainbow Dash: Uhh... I think we're gonna go hit the dance floor.
Discord: Fluttershy, tell the Hugs here about the time that we went to the store and came back with two cakes instead of one, because that's how crazy we are when we're together.
Fluttershy: Um, we went to the store and bought two cakes.
Discord: Oh. Well, you kind of left out all the fun and frivolity there. But I'm sure you got it, Tree Hugger.
Tree Hugger: I got that you really like cake.
Discord: We like each other. That was the point! I'm actually pretty lukewarm about cake.
Rarity: [muffled screaming] Let me in!
[thumping]
[lock clicks]
Rarity: [gasps for breath] That creature took my jewels!
The Smooze: [magical hum]
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! I thought I told you to keep your friend under control!
Discord: Oh, please. I have better things to do than to watch that thing all night. [laughs nervously] What I mean to say is, that thing is a dear, dear friend, and I'll make sure that the ooze, uh, that he can't help but secrete doesn't get on anypony else.
[vacuum cleaner running]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you. It's alright, everypony. Let's just get back to enjoying this magical evening!
Discord: [to the Smooze] You are making me look like a fool in front of Fluttershy. I'll be back when the Gala is over.
[door slams]
The Smooze: [licks]
[magic poof]
Fluttershy: [laughing] Oh, Tree Hugger, I've never known anypony as funny as you!
Ponies: [gasp]
[microphone feedback]
Discord: Check, check, check. Is this thing on? Good evening, fillies and germs! I just flew into Canterlot, and wow, are my interspecies parts tired!
[rimshot]
[silence]
Discord: I've only got these tiny mismatched wings, and even I can fly better than Twilight Sparkle! Am I right? Pchoo!
[rimshot]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey!
Princess Celestia: [giggles]
Discord: [laughs nervously] Uh, well, perhaps you're into more observational humor.
[magic poof]
Discord: Did you ever notice how you always materialize out of thin air? Why not thick air? What's the deal there?
[rimshot]
"Masquerade": [coughs]
Discord: Tough crowd.
Twilight Sparkle: What is he doing?!
Rainbow Dash: I think they're... jokes?
Pinkie Pie: Maud! Jokes!
Maud Pie: My favorite.
Discord: [muffled and out of focus] You might be a Ponyville pony when an ordinary night on the town ends in a lesson about friendship! [in focus] Knock knock!
[beat]
Discord: You're supposed to say "Who's there?"! This is the most basic of jokes!
[thud, splat]
Maud Pie: You're the most basic of jokes.
[ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Good one, Maud!
[colt trembling]
The Smooze: [slithering]
Twilight Sparkle: What is that?!
[ponies screaming]
[Wilhelm scream]
Rainbow Dash: [straining]
[splat]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: None of my magic works on this ooze! Can you stop it?
[splut]
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid not!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord, how could you bring him here?!
Discord: Oh, he's not that bad!
Rarity: Oh, my shoes will be ruined forever!
Applejack: That's what you're worried about? Really?
[spluts]
Tree Hugger: This is kind of a bummer.
Discord: Isn't it, though? And to think, it would never have happened had I come to the Gala as somepony else's plus-one.
Tree Hugger: Seems like something might have harshed his flow, you know? Like, his senses are agitated.
Discord: You don't know anything about rare creatures. I've known Smooze Face for ages. He's not agitated. He's partying down! Whoo!
Tree Hugger: All he needs is some, like, calming auditory therapy. I know I always feel really at peace when I'm being bathed in positive vibes. Maybe he'll calm down with some sonic bliss.
Discord: Do you even know what you just said?
Tree Hugger: Ommmm. Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee! Ommmm. Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!
The Smooze: [bubbling]
Tree Hugger: Let go, Smooze! Bliss out! Ommmm. Ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!
The Smooze: [grins]
Sweetie Belle: It worked!
Everypony: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Way to go, Tree Hugger!
Fluttershy: That was the most magical thing I've ever seen done with animals!
Discord: [grinding teeth]
Tree Hugger: Oh, thanks, everypony. It makes perfect karmic sense why magic doesn't work on him. He only responds to vibrations that peace out his energy fields.
Discord: Stop it! Stop it! That's it! I'm done with you, Tree Hugger!
Tree Hugger: Oh, man. You're really bumming me out. Can you just, like, lower your voice a skosh?
Discord: A skosh? A skosh?!
[magic noises]
Tree Hugger: Whoa, dude! What is that?!
Discord: Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm simply going to send you to another dimension. I can't have you interfering in my relationship with Fluttershy anymore!
Fluttershy: Discord, stop!
Discord: I will, just as soon as she's gone! Then we can have a good laugh about this whole affair over our regular Tuesday tea. [sips]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Fluttershy! We'll stop him!
[disco ball bouncing]
Main cast sans Fluttershy: [screaming]
Discord: I'm doing her a favor, Fluttershy! It's a lovely dimension! White sand beaches, attentive wait staff... I mean, okay, the humidity isn't great, but where isn't that the case these days?
Fluttershy: I don't understand why you're doing this! We were all getting along so well!
Discord: As well as we could, considering you've already stomped all over our friendship by inviting her to the biggest night of the year as if I didn't matter at all!
Fluttershy: Did you really think I'd abandon you just because I have a new friend?!
Discord: Yes, because that's what you did!
Fluttershy: No, Discord! I invited a friend to a party! I didn't abandon you! What if you had a friend that you could discuss chaos-based magic with? Would that mean we weren't friends anymore?!
Discord: Uh... [stuttering] No, I suppose not. It would just mean that I'd have different friends for different things... Oh, oh, dear, it looks like I've perhaps overreacted just a skosh.
Fluttershy: More like a lot of skoshes! Tree Hugger, could you give us a minute?
Discord: I'm just so new at this whole friendship thing. It's so much more complicated than it looks.
Fluttershy: Do you think maybe you owe somepony an apology? Not me!
Discord: Oh! Oh. [clears throat] Yes, right. [snaps fingers]
[magic zaps]
The Smooze: [slithering]
[magic zap]
Discord: Er, Tree Hugger, I'm sorry that you got caught in the middle of my... er, you know... wrath.
Tree Hugger: Oh, it's all groovy. Um, I need like a few minutes to clear out my chakras before I can hug you from a place of authenticity.
Discord: Oh, your chakras. [laughs nervously] Fair enough.
Discord: I owe you an apology, Smooze. I spent the whole evening thinking about my own feelings and never thinking about yours.
The Smooze: [kisses]
Discord: Well, friends! I think I may actually grow to like this multiple-friend thing.
Maud Pie: I like it too.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, it's not a party until somepony spreads magic-resistant ooze uncontrollably over the ballroom! [squee] Come on, Smoozinator! Let's dance!
The Smooze: [slithering]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Princess Celestia. I thought I could give you a break tonight, but it turns out I was in over my head.
Princess Celestia: You have nothing to apologize for. This has been the most fun Gala in years!
Twilight Sparkle: I know, it was a—What?! But there was ooze all over the place! And one of the guests threatened to send somepony to another dimension!
Princess Celestia: I know! Can you imagine how dull it would have been if I hadn't invited Discord? Come on! Whoo! The night is still young!
[credits]

The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone

Pinkie Pie: La, la-la, la-la! La, la-la, la-la, la la-la la-la! This is gonna be so great, Gummy! We have absolutely nothing to do today except bake! I've been waiting for just the right time to finally try Granny Pie's super-special triple-chocolate, fifteen-layer marjolaine recipe! It's gonna be amazing!
Gummy: [licks]
Pinkie Pie: Let's see. Nutty meringue, chocolate ganache, praline and nuts, cocoa-flavored buttercream...
[cutie mark ringing]
Pinkie Pie: An hour per layer – that's fifteen hours of pure baking bliss!
[oven opens and closes]
[cutie mark ringing]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, Gummy, I think we're ready to start prepping the second layer!
[cutie mark ringing]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, my gosh! My cutie mark! [gasps] You know what this means?! [hushed] The map!
Gummy: [licks]
[door shuts]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, Gummy? Could you take over for a bit? Hopefully this'll be quick. I'll just measure the baking powder for you... [squee] ...and when the first layer cools, you can drizzle some of the ganache over it. And don't forget to beat the egg whites for the meringue!
[cutie mark ringing]
Pinkie Pie: I know you can do this, Gummy! You're the best alligator baker I've ever met! [kisses]
[door shuts]
Gummy: [creaking] [thud] [blinks]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: This is so exciting. The map is summoning you to Griffonstone, the very heart of the griffon kingdom! I don't know if either of you have read "Bygone Griffons of Greatness", but griffons were known to be—
Rainbow Dash: Rude, insensitive bullies?
Twilight Sparkle: You mean Gilda?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I mean Gilda! When she came to Ponyville, she was a total jerk to all my friends, especially Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: She was a bit of a party pooper.
Rainbow Dash: Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: So, maybe Gilda was a little rude. You still get to go to Griffonstone, and according to this book, it has a rich, fascinating history! [narrating] In ancient times, griffons were known to be as greedy as dragons, always hoarding their bits and other treasures. But all that changed when King Grover found the mysterious golden Idol of Boreas. Legend says the Idol of Boreas was made from the dust of golden sunsets, blown across the mountains by the north winds. Possessing the Idol of Boreas filled the griffons' hearts with pride. It's said that that one great treasure is responsible for turning Griffonstone into the most majestic kingdom of all the land.
Rainbow Dash: And why do you care so much about griffons anyway?
Twilight Sparkle: It was actually Gilda's visit that made me curious. So I picked up "Bygone Griffons of Greatness", and I've been hooked ever since! And now... [sigh] Now you two get to see Griffonstone with your very own eyes.
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Just me and Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Hey, you can totally take my place if you want. [yawn] I still have half a nap to finish.
Pinkie Pie: Why don't you just come with us? I mean, you are the Princess of Friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, if the map wanted me to go to the coolest kingdom in all of Equestria and tour the palace and see the actual idol that unites an entire species, which would be super amazing, I'm sure it would've said so. You two can handle whatever the issue is just fine. I'll stay here and do important princessy things. I guess.
Pinkie Pie: Well then, come on, Dashie! We're going to Griffonstone!
Rainbow Dash: [sigh] Fine...
Pinkie Pie: That's the spirit! [blows party horn]
[train whistle]
[train chugging]
Pinkie Pie: Whatcha reading, Rainbow?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Twilight literally wrote a book on what we need to do in Griffonstone.
Pinkie Pie: You mean like a guide on how to figure out what problem we're supposed to fix?
Rainbow Dash: And then some. It's like Twilight herself in book form. [imitating Twilight] "Always carry plenty of bits. The griffons are sure to help you as long as you share the wealth."
[bits clinking]
[cart squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: [swallows] Uh, can I borrow some bits?
[train chugging]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Upon arriving in Griffon Gorge, be sure to pause and cast your eyes northerly, up the Hyperborean Mountains, taking in the breathtaking beauty of Griffonstone. Once in Griffonstone proper, go immediately to the palace and introduce yourself to the king. "Bygone Griffons of Greatness" was written a long time ago, and it ends with the coronation of the fourteenth king of the griffons, King Guto. I have no idea who's in charge now. Tell the king you've been sent by the Princess of Friendship, and you're there to help with some sort of problem. If for some reason the king can't help, I'd try the Griffonstone library next. It's a little known secret that if you befriend a librarian, you can usually find out anything. Plus, as a bonus, there's a statue of King Grover outside! [giggles] Photo op! And don't forget to sample some famous griffon scones. They're supposed to be the best.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, Twilight should've come along! Then she could see first-hoof that Griffonstone is...
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: ...a total dump!
[branch creaking]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Maybe the map should've called Rarity instead of us.
Pinkie Pie: Excuse me, sir? This is Griffonstone, right?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Well, that wasn't very nice.
Rainbow Dash: See? These griffons are exactly like I'd thought they'd be.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe we should just find the palace so we can ask the king what's going on.
Gilda: We don't have a king, losers.
Rainbow Dash: Hello, Gilda.
Gilda: Dash.
Pinkie Pie: Pinkie!
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing here?
Gilda: Uh, I'm a griffon? What's your excuse, dweebs?
Pinkie Pie: Hey! These 'dweebs' are here to help Griffonstone!
Gilda: Help it what?
Pinkie Pie: Well... we're not really sure! But it involves a map and our cutie marks and a problem, and—
Gilda: Bored now!
Pinkie Pie: Well if you don't have a king, could you at least tell us where the Idol of Boreas is?
Gilda: Ha-ha! Don't tell me you really believe in that thing.
Grampa Gruff: You'd better believe in it! [coughs and wheezes]
[thump]
[door opens]
Grampa Gruff: It was the best thing to ever happen to us griffons!
Gilda: Oh, great. Now you got Grampa Gruff started!
Grampa Gruff: I'll tell you the whole tragic tale... [laughing] ...for a couple of bits.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[bits clinking]
Grampa Gruff: The first griffon king, King Grover, united our kind like we've never been united before or since! And he did it all with that incredible Idol of Boreas.
Pinkie Pie: [stifled giggling]
Grampa Gruff: That idol brought pride to the heart of every griffon that saw it! From one king to the next, Griffonstone had our golden idol. We were the envy of all other species. [narrating] It held us together – it gave us an identity – right up until the reign of King Guto.
[lightning cracks]
Grampa Gruff: [narrating] That's when Arimaspi came to steal our griffon treasure! King Guto tried to fight him off, but Arimaspi managed to get away with the idol!
[lightning cracks]
Arimaspi: [bellows]
Grampa Gruff: [narrating] They say when our treasure fell into the Abysmal Abyss, our pride went with it. King Guto was the last king of Griffonstone, and we all lived miserably ever after. The end!
Pinkie Pie: [tearing up] That was the saddest story ever!
Grampa Gruff: Aw, well... Tough tailfeathers! No refunds!
Pinkie Pie: No wonder Twilight's book ended with the coronation of King Guto. Who would want to record a history that sad?
[thump]
Gilda: It's not sad! Do we look sad to you?
[thump, scrabbling]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, I think I know why the map sent us here. We need to find the Idol of Boreas and bring glory and pride back to Griffonstone!
Gilda: Ha-ha. Here we go – typical pony hero complex. None of us care about that dumb old idol. Don't you get it? We don't care about anything, and that's the way we like it!
Pinkie Pie: I think Rainbow Dash is right! The map sent us here to fix some sort of problem!
Gilda: The only problem Griffonstone has is you!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I don't care what she says. We're gonna find that treasure, make Griffonstone cool again, and get back to Ponyville! Come on!
Pinkie Pie: Wait, Rainbow Dash. What about Twilight's advice?
Rainbow Dash: What, taking a bunch of pictures?
Pinkie Pie: She mentioned finding answers at the library.
[thwap]
Rainbow Dash: Knock yourself out. But when you get bored with Twilight's tour book, I'll be at the Abysmal Abyss finding the Idol of Boreas.
[door opening]
Rainbow Dash: I'm here to find your missing idol and save Griffonstone!
[beat]
[door breaks]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I'll need some rope, a grappling hook, and a guide to take me down to the Abysmal Abyss.
Storekeeper: And I'll need some bits.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Gilda! Word on the street is that Griffonstone has an amazing library chock-full of answers!
Gilda: Word on what street?
Pinkie Pie: Okay, maybe not this street, but on other streets, your library is the talk of the town.
Gilda: The library's right there, so why don't you go inside and leave me alone?!
[cart rattling]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Maybe it's good that Twilight didn't come... [to statue] It's sad what happened to your town, King, but Rainbow Dash can't be right. This can't all be because of a missing hunk of gold. [as King Grover] You are right, Pinkie! And you've got amazing hair! [normal] Aw, King Grover, you old charmer!
[statue breaks]
[bonk!]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I know what Griffonstone needs!
Gilda: Fewer ponies?
Pinkie Pie: A song! I've got a super song about smiling that sure to make even the most grumpy griffon grin! [inhales]
Gilda: Can't sing here!
Pinkie Pie: But how do you break into uplifting musical numbers with no singing?
Gilda: Yeah, that's Griffonstone's biggest problem – lack of uplifting musical numbers.
Pinkie Pie: Well if I can't sing, how about a party? If there's one thing these griffons need, it's a good cheer! Where's your party store?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: No party store? Uh, how about cake? Nothing cheers folks up like cake! Where's a bakery?
Gilda: Ugh.
Pinkie Pie: No singing, no party store, no bakery?! What is this place?!
Gilda: You're welcome to leave [suddenly yelling] at any time!
[crash]
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Well, that just takes the cake. Wait, no! It can't take the cake 'cause there is no cake! Or muffins! Or griffon scones!
Gilda: Oh, we got griffon scones. That's my specialty.
Pinkie Pie: I'll buy one! [chomp]
Gilda: Bits first!
[bit clinking]
Pinkie Pie: [crunching]
Gilda: Well?
Pinkie Pie: [crunching]
Gilda: What, you like it? That's my Grampa Gruff's secret recipe.
Pinkie Pie: [with mouth full] Ow! I think I broke a tooth!
Gilda: Well, whatever. No refunds. I don't even care anyway. I just want to sell enough of these so that I can leave this lousy town.
Pinkie Pie: [spits] I can help you with that!
[wind blowing]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you think you could tighten the strap on my helmet?
Storekeeper: Can you give me more bits?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Never mind, I got it. So how deep is this abyss?
Storekeeper: How deep are your pockets?
Rainbow Dash: Don't you griffons ever talk about anything but bits?
Storekeeper: Gimme some bits and I'll answer.
Rainbow Dash: No wonder Gilda's such a delight.
Pinkie Pie: [chewing] Grampa Gruff's recipe is good, but it's missing one important ingredient.
Gilda: Don't tell me. "Friendship"?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, no. Baking powder. Lucky for you, I never leave home without it! Now just pop those in the oven, and you'll have griffon scones worth their weight in gold!
Greta: [sniffing]
[bonk!]
[thud]
Gilda: Greta!
Pinkie Pie: Aha! I saw that, Gilda! You may act like a gruff, grumbling griffon, but inside you're gracious and great!
Gilda: What are you talking about?
Pinkie Pie: You just helped your friend up when she got knocked down.
Gilda: What, her? Greta's just some griffon I know. We don't have friends here! [sighs] I did have a friend once, but you saw how that turned out.
Pinkie Pie: [poink!] [slide whistle noise] Oh, my gosh, I gotta go find Rainbow Dash!
Gilda: See ya.
[wind blowing]
Rainbow Dash: [shouting] You sure we can't just fly down? Whoa! Never mind, totally got my answer there.
Rainbow Dash: Just gotta find that golden idol and get out of this place.
[rope snaps]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming] Whoooa!
[thump]
Rainbow Dash: Ow, ooh! My hoof! Help! Throw me another rope!
Storekeeper: You got bits?
Rainbow Dash: Wait! Heeeeeelp...! [fades into distance]
[bandage tightening]
[wind blowing]
[thump]
Rainbow Dash: [frustrated yell]
Pinkie Pie: [in distance] There you are! Forget about finding the idol! I figured out how to solve Griffonstone's real problem – scones!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you get back here!
Pinkie Pie: [in distance] Yeah?
Rainbow Dash: [in distance] Can you throw down a rope or something?
Pinkie Pie: [in distance] Lemme look!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: One rope coming up!
Rainbow Dash: [grumbles]
Pinkie Pie: We need help. Don't go anywhere!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Where does she think I'm gonna go?
[rock crumbles]
Rainbow Dash: [panicked noises] I hope I don't go anywhere!
[scones sizzling]
Gilda: [chewing]
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash is stuck on a ledge in the Abysmal Abyss, and I need your help to save her!
Gilda: Not my problem.
Pinkie Pie: Of course it's your problem! She's your friend!
Gilda: Used to be.
Pinkie Pie: Can't you remember when she was?
Gilda: Yeah. Of course.
Young Hoops: Doesn't that griffon know she's supposed to fly at the Junior Speedsters Flight Camp?
Young Rainbow Dash: Maybe she just doesn't want to make you look bad! Hey there, I'm Rainbow Dash! And you are...?
Young Gilda: Uh... G-G-G-G-Gilda.
Young Rainbow Dash: You sure about that? Stick with me, Gilda, and those guys won't give you any more guff. Whoa! You're awesome!
Young Gilda: [laughing] You too, Rainbow Dash!
Young Rainbow Dash: Well, Gilda, let's show these guys how it's done!
[bowling pins clatter]
Young Gilda: Junior Speedsters are our lives,
Young Rainbow Dash: Skybound soars and daring dives,
Young Gilda and Young Rainbow Dash: Junior Speedsters, it's our quest to someday be the very best!
Gilda: Fine. I'll help her. But that doesn't make me her friend.
Pinkie Pie: Duly noted. [to the audience] Except it does!
[rock crumbling]
[wind blowing]
Gilda: Hang on, loser! I'm coming!
Rainbow Dash: What took you so long, doofus?!
[rock crumbling]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! I'm coming for you!
Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: Gotcha!
Gilda, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
[thump]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Gilda: Hold on, you two! [grunting] Huh? [gasps]
[metallic glint]
Gilda: The Idol of Boreas! [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: I'm slipping!
Gilda: [straining]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [screaming]
Gilda: [grunting]
[thump]
[chink!]
Rainbow Dash: The idol!
Gilda: You're more important to me than some dumb chunk of gold.
[rock crumbling]
Pinkie Pie: Hugging later, climbing now!
Gilda: I'm really sorry about how I treated you two.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks, Gilda.
Pinkie Pie: Apology accepted.
Rainbow Dash: And I'm just sorry we didn't get your idol back. Now we'll never be able to solve Griffonstone's problem.
Pinkie Pie: That's what I was trying to tell you! The map didn't send us here to find the lost Idol of Boreas. It sent us here to replace it with something better!
Gilda: Nothing's better than gold to a griffon.
Pinkie Pie: That's because you don't have friendship! If you can learn to care about each other again, Griffonstone could be a mightier kingdom than it ever was before! And you don't need some golden idol to do that. You just need each other.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, Pinkie. That was... really sappy.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, what can I say? That's how I roll. Go on, Gilda! Go make a friend!
Rainbow Dash: I don't know, Pinkie. You really think these griffons are up for this? We aren't exactly in Ponyville, you know.
Gilda: Okay, so she was really weirded out until I gave her the scone. Then she tried it and said it tasted good! That's the first nice thing anygriffon's ever said to me!
[cutie marks ringing]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, Pinkie. I guess that really was the problem we needed to solve.
Pinkie Pie: [in film reel quality] Baking powder makes baked goods and friendships fluffy and delicious! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: Well, we'd better be heading home.
Gilda: What? Y-Y-You want me to spread friendship here by myself?! How am I supposed to do that?! I haven't even made one single friend yet!
Rainbow Dash: No, you haven't. You've made two.
Pinkie Pie: [tearing up] Hugging! Hugging now!
Gilda: But you'll come back and visit, right?
Rainbow Dash: Just try and stop us!
[creeeak, pop!]
Pinkie Pie: [to statue] See ya later, you old charmer.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Pinkie? Who are you talking to?
Pinkie Pie: Nopony! Come on, let's go home and see how Gummy did with Granny Pie's marjolaine recipe!
Gummy: [blinks]
[credits]

Slice of Life

[pages turning]
[door opens]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I'll never understand the ponies in this town! Everywhere I went, they were all gussied up and lookin' at me funny! Kept asking if I was "nervous"!
Matilda: Did they forget the wedding is tomorrow?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Oh, maybe they're just as excited for us to be married as I am.
Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda: [murmuring and giggling]
Matilda: Well, they're going to feel awfully silly when they realize they've got the wrong date. [gasps] The invitations are wrong! This says the wedding is today!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: But I got such a good deal on them...
Matilda: Everypony in town got these! The princesses have even RSVP'd!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I told you we should have eloped!
Matilda: Oh, dear. The caterer, the flowers, the musicians! We've got to move it all to today!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: What?!
[door opens]
Matilda: Where's my wedding planner?!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: You told me you could do it for half what the others charged, and then you sent the invitations to everypony in town with the wrong date! [snorts]
Derpy: Muffin?
[theme song]
Derpy: I really messed up on those invitations! I feel just awful, Doc!
Savoir Fare: Hmph! Perhaps that explains why I never got mine!
Derpy: I told Cranky I could get 'em printed for cheap, but that meant hiring somepony with no experience using a printing press.
[printing press exploding]
[squirt]
Derpy: Oh, I wish there was a way I could go back in time and fix all this.
Dr. Hooves: [slurping]
Dr. Hooves: Going back in time is old thinking, my friend. I was working off a cutting-edge theory of making time come forward to you.
[clunking]
Dr. Hooves: My life's work, decades – centuries, really – of research and experimentation, and I nearly had it cracked! Turns out there's a magic spell for it. Who knew?
[zap]
[zap]
Dr. Hooves: But there are so many things that magic can't explain, where science and mathematics are the real magic!
Derpy: Like these? They're pretty.
Dr. Hooves: Ah, yes, my flameless fireworks. I never could quite figure out how to get them to ignite.
Derpy: How did you learn to make all this stuff anyway?
Dr. Hooves: I've been studying science my whole life. Ever since a particularly traumatic experience as a foal, I've been looking for ways to make sense of the world around me. Science provides explanations of things we never thought possible! Now, why did we come here again?
Derpy: Yeah. Oh! Because I accidentally sent out invitations for Cranky and Matilda's wedding with today's date instead of tomorrow's!
Dr. Hooves: Great whickering stallions! I completely forgot! And I still need to get my suit tailored!
Dr. Hooves: Rarity? [knocking] Rarity! [grumbling]
[hip-hop playing in headphones]
Dr. Hooves: [to DJ Pon-3] Please! You've got to help me! I lost track of time, unbelievably, and forgot that the wedding is this afternoon! [completely drowned out by hip-hop] Have you seen Rarity? She's got to alter the sleeves on my suit, and she's got to do it now! Oh, ha-ha, thank goodness. Lead on, my friend.
[bowling strike]
Dr. Hooves: Er, why have you brought me here? Rarity would never set hoof in—
[suits sparkling]
Dr. Hooves: Great whickering stallions, they've got style! Gentlecolts! I'm facing certain calamity, and I couldn't help noticing your remarkable fashion sense. Could I have the name of your incredible tailor?
Jeff Letrotski: Oh, yeah, man. His name is me.
Dr. Hooves: "Me". What an unfortunate name.
Jeff Letrotski: No, man, like, I manufacture all of my own garments. We all do, man.
Dr. Hooves: Then you've got to help me! I need this suit tailored! It's an emergency!
Jeff Letrotski: [laughs] Sorry, man, we're just about to start the finals.
Dr. Hooves: What's this word you keep using – "man"?
Jeff Letrotski: I dunno, man, but guess what? Our fourth didn't show, so if you roll with us, we'll alter your suit for you.
[scribbling noises]
Dr. Hooves: I'm sorry, gentlecolts, but I will not bowl. The splits, the spares! There are simply too many variables!
Jeff Letrotski: Variables? What are you talking about, man? Just throw the ball straight!
Dr. Hooves: Hold on. Straight?
[dinging]
[bowling strike]
Dr. Hooves: Very well. I'll try your "straight" technique. It just might be crazy enough to work.
Octavia Melody: Do we know what they're on about?
Apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem or a monster attack.
Octavia Melody: A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't sorted out what to play. How am I meant to practice with a monster invading Ponyville?
Sweetie Belle: Maybe it's just a friendship problem, and it'll all be cleared up in half an hour or so.
Octavia Melody: [groan] I hope so.
Matilda: Where's Pinkie Pie?! I need my wedding planner!
[bugbear growling]
[magic zap]
Matilda: Oh, no! On my wedding day?! Somepony's gotta help me! You!
Amethyst Star: Me?
Matilda: I need to move an entire wedding from tomorrow to today!
Amethyst Star: But nopony's asked me to organize anything since Twilight came to town.
Matilda: So you'll do it?
Amethyst Star: I used to be the best organizer in all of Ponyville. You bet I'll—
[bugbear growling]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
[crash]
Matilda: Come on! We better get to the salon before that monster flattens it!
[bugbear roaring]
[bugbear growling]
Derpy: What am I gonna do? [gasp] Matilda! I feel so bad about the invitations! Is there anything I can do—
Matilda: FLOWERS!
Lily Valley: You want Matilda's arrangements... today?!
[thud]
Daisy: This is awful!
Rose: The horror, the horror!
Derpy: So there's no way you can do it?
Lily Valley: We don't even have Matilda's flowers in yet, much less arranged! [gasps] This is a disaster!
Derpy: Okay. Thanks anyway.
[bugbear growling]
Lily Valley: [gasps] Look, girls! A broken stem on one of the zinnias!
Daisy: Whaaat?!
[thud]
Rose: Oh, the horror, the horror!
Sweetie Drops: I have to admit, when Matilda said we needed this place ready by today, I was a little nervous.
Lyra Heartstrings: With you by my side, I knew we'd get it done in time.
Sweetie Drops: There is nothing like a best friend, is there?
Lyra Heartstrings: Anything's possible when you know somepony as well as we know each other!
[distant bugbear roaring]
Sweetie Drops: What was that?
Lyra Heartstrings: There's some monster attacking Ponyville or something.
Sweetie Drops: What is it this time? A creature from the Everfree Forest?
Lyra Heartstrings: Uh, I think it's some sort of bugbear. [giggles]
Sweetie Drops: Did you say bugbear? It found me!
Lyra Heartstrings: What are you talking about, Bon Bon?
Sweetie Drops: My name isn't Bon Bon. It's "Special Agent Sweetie Drops". I work for a super-secret anti-monster agency in Canterlot, or at least I did until the bugbear went missing from Tartarus a few years back.
Lyra Heartstrings: What are you talking about?
Sweetie Drops: When it escaped, we had to shutter the whole agency. Every last shred of evidence of the organization's existence was destroyed. Celestia demanded complete deniability.
Lyra Heartstrings: ...What?
Sweetie Drops: It was me who captured the bugbear. I had to go deep cover here in Ponyville and assume the name Bon Bon. I never thought it'd be able to track me, but now it has.
Lyra Heartstrings: Are you saying our whole friendship was based on a lie?!
Sweetie Drops: I'm sorry, Lyra! I couldn't tell you for your own protection!
Lyra Heartstrings: B-b-but the lunches! The-the long talks! The benches we sat on! [tearing up] None of that was real?!
Sweetie Drops: It was all real. You're my very best friend.
[bugbear roaring]
[window opening]
[thud]
Sweetie Drops: I've got to go find a crowd to blend into before I put you in danger! I'll see you at the wedding.
Lyra Heartstrings: Fine! But we're going to talk about this later!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I need my ring today, no matter the cost! ...As long as it doesn't cost any extra.
Jeff Letrotski: Seven/ten split, man. Harshest of the harsh. But if you pick this up, we win the whole shebang!
Dr. Hooves: [inhales, exhales]
[door opens]
Derpy: Doc! I've finally figured out how I can help! Your flameless fireworks look just like flowers! I'll use them for the wedding!
Dr. Hooves: Great whickering stallions! Wait!
[pin clattering]
Walter: [angry grunt]
Dr. Hooves: Wait! The flameless fireworks are extremely volatile! Without knowing what the trigger is, they could go off at any moment! My word, is that a bugbear?
[bugbear growling]
Matilda: Oh, there are so many things I'm forgetting! I hope Cranky remembers to tell the musicians! Oh! Oh! I'll never get my mane done in time!
Lotus Blossom: You must relax, my dear! We can handle anything! We once did a pony's hair during the ceremony!
Steven Magnet: Oh, it's true, it's true! They really are the best! Matilda, I've just got to say, I already feel like we're family.
Matilda: You do?
Steven Magnet: Of course! I'm Steven Magnet, Cranky's best beast!
Matilda: You're Steven Magnet?
Steven Magnet: Well, what'd you expect, a bugbear? I've known Cranky forev-er! Surely he must have told you about the time he saved me from Flash Freeze Lake?
Matilda: ...You're Steven Magnet.
Steven Magnet: Oh, I know, I know! Typical Cranky, to leave out minor details, like the fact that I'm, y'know, a sea monster, right? [laughs] I just love that old burro!
Matilda: I'm sorry, Steven. I guess I assumed you were a pony. And I had no idea you had such adventures together.
Steven Magnet: Oh, honey, you don't know the half of it! But let me tell you something. In all that we've been through together, the only thing he ever cared about was finding you.
Matilda: Really?
Steven Magnet: Well, that and a baldness cure. [laughs]
Matilda: He is the sweetest thing, isn't he? All the stress I've put myself through. All the stress I've put him through. The only thing that matters is that we're together. The wedding isn't the important thing – the marriage is.
Steven Magnet: [laughing] Oh, goodness gracious. If you believe that, I have got a bridge to sell you! All these ponies traveling to Ponyville, putting on uncomfortable clothes, sitting through a long ceremony, you think any of them care about the marriage? [laughing] Honey, the wedding is everything.
Matilda: [teeth rattling]
Octavia Melody: [playing Mendelssohn's "Wedding March"] Ugh, all these wedding songs are so... standard. I want Matilda and Cranky's wedding to be special. [continues playing cello]
[cello overlaid with dubstep beats]
Octavia Melody: Thanks, but I'm not sure that's appropriate for a wedding, is it? [resumes playing]
[dubstep cello]
Octavia Melody: [gasps] That's more like it!
[dubstep cello continues]
[dubstep cello intensifies]
[record scratch]
Octavia Melody: Stop! I'm going to be late for the wedding!
[dubstep cello continues]
[bugbear growling]
[magic zap]
[dubstep cello continues]
[thuds under]
[dink!]
[music stops abruptly]
Gummy: [narrating] What is life? Is it nothing more than the endless search for a cutie mark? And what is a cutie mark but a constant reminder that we're all only one bugbear attack away from oblivion? And what of the poor gator? Flank forever blank, destined to an existential swim down the river of life to... an unknowable destiny? [licks]
[series of thuds]
Octavia Melody: Something like that might work.
Princess Celestia: [hushed] What do you mean you left it on the counter?!
Princess Luna: [hushed] I thought you were bringing it!
Princess Celestia: [hushed] [groans] Well, this is just wonderful!
[beat]
Princess Luna: [hushed] I handled the gift for Cadance and Shining Armor! You were supposed to do this one, remember?
Princess Celestia: [hushed] Well, we can't just come to this wedding empty-hoofed!
Shining Armor: [sobbing]
Princess Cadance: [sighs] It's alright. He always cries at weddings.
Shining Armor: [bawling]
Princess Cadance: ...Usually it's not until the wedding starts.
Derpy: These flameless fireworks look even better than flowers! [giggles]
Sweetie Drops: Attention, everypony! Our friends have done it! They've defeated the bugbear!
[ponies cheering]
Sweetie Drops: [to Lyra] Hey.
Lyra Heartstrings: Hello.
Sweetie Drops: So, uh, you didn't happen to mention our earlier conversation about my [hushed through gritted teeth] secret identity [normal] to anypony, did you?
Lyra Heartstrings: No. I did not. And you're not the only one with a secret, y'know. You know those expensive imported oats you were saving for a special occasion? I cooked them up and ate them! All of them! [laughs] It's sort of thrilling to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets!
Sweetie Drops: [laughs] That's what best friends are for.
Princess Celestia: [hushed] Next time, you can just bring your own gift, and I'll bring mine.
Princess Luna: [hushed] Fine.
[door creaks]
Dr. Hooves: There you are! My suit has vanished and this was the only thing left in my closet! How do I look?
Derpy: Like a million bits!
Dr. Hooves: Great whickering stallions, look at the time! We'd better get inside. Allons-y!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: I can't believe I lost my hair! I look ridiculous. The love of my life deserves better than this!
Steven Magnet: Have no fear, Cranky, my dear. It's Steven Magnet's mustache to the rescue!
[shing]
[fsst]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Aw, thanks, buddy.
Steven Magnet: Oh, no problem. Now you get in there and marry that donkey!
Mayor Mare: Well, is everypony here?
[door slams, lock clicks]
Derpy: All set, Mayor!
Mayor Mare: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two in mare-trimony. As I look around this room, I can only imagine how uncomfortable Cranky must be.
[ponies laughing]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [grumbles]
Mayor Mare: But I also see so many ponies from all trots of life, brought together by love. Cranky searched all across this great land of ours to find Matilda, and no matter what obstacles kept them apart, love would finally bring them together, just as it has brought all of us together now. It's remarkable to me how a story like Cranky's search for Matilda could fill this room with such a unique collection of ponies! It makes you realize that everypony is the star of their own story. And it's not just the main characters in our stories that make life so rich! It's everypony – those who play big parts and those who play small. If it weren't for everypony in this room and many more who couldn't be here today, Cranky and Matilda's lives wouldn't be as full and vibrant as they are.
Steven Magnet: [crying]
Bulk Biceps: [squeaks]
Mayor Mare: And so, in front of all these loved ones... Cranky, do you take this donkey to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: You bet I do!
Mayor Mare: And do you, Matilda, take this donkey to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Matilda: [tearing up] I do!
Mayor Mare: Then I'm proud to say, I now pronounce you jack and jenny!
Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda: [kissing]
[ponies cheering]
[flameless fireworks exploding]
Dr. Hooves: [laughs] Of course! They need love to ignite! How could I have missed it?!
Twilight Sparkle: You know something, girls? We are so lucky to live in this town. I love you all!
Rainbow Dash: Ow! That's where the bugbear bit me!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry!
[credits]

Princess Spike

[indistinct chatter]
[fanfare]
Princess Luna: Welcome to the Grand Equestria Pony Summit!
[crowd cheering]
Princess Celestia: You delegates have traveled far and wide to represent your cities as we seek to celebrate and learn from all the unique places that make up our wonderful land of Equestria. At tonight's welcome reception, Princess Cadance will dedicate this beautiful friendship statue made up of gemstones from each of your home cities.
[crowd oohing and ahhing]
Spike: [licks lips]
Princess Celestia: Now I'd like to turn things over to the one who organized the summit: Princess Twilight Sparkle!
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [tired] Thank you, everypony. With delegates from over fifty cities attending three days of conferences, receptions, and meetings, this is the largest Grand Equestria Pony Summit yet. And let me tell you, putting it all together has led to more than one sleepless night. We're so excited to have you here and to learn more about life all across this great land of ours.
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: And now my faithful assistant Spike would like to say a few words.
Spike: Um, hello, everypony! I'm here to help any way I can. So if there's anything I can do for any of you—
Neigh Sayer: We love you, Princess Twilight!
Delegate 2: We love all the princesses!
[crowd cheering]
Spike: [sighs] I guess everypony loves a princess. Hmph.
[theme song]
[knocking]
[door slamming]
Spike: Ugh!
Princess Cadance: Spike!
[thud]
Princess Cadance: Spike?
Spike: [muffled] A little help?
Princess Cadance: Spike, we need you!
Spike: Of course! What can I do?
[door opens]
Spike: Whoa, what happened to you?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] [tired] I'm sorry, Spike. I just... [yawns] ...need a quick... nap. Napkin! Tell the delegates I'll... [trails off]
Princess Cadance: She's been awake three straight days preparing for the summit. We need to make sure she gets some rest today. She'll never be able to attend the welcome reception in this condition. Can I count on you to see to it that she isn't disturbed?
Spike: I promise! I won't let you down!
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
[marching music]
[telescope squeaking]
Spike: Perfect.
[bird singing]
Spike: Not on my watch.
[bird singing]
Spike: Uh, excuse me? Can you keep it down a little? Oh, no!
[door opens]
[bird singing]
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Spike: I'll give you birdseed! Worms! Anything! Just please stop singing before you wake the princess!
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Spike: Huh. I can't believe that worked.
[polo ponies shouting]
Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
Spike: Hyah!
Polo ponies: [surprised noises]
Spike: [sighs] Uh, hi fellas. Sorry to break up your game, but there's sort of an important diplomatic summit kind of thingy going on, and it involves a princess needing to sleep, and, uh... maybe you could move your game somewhere else?
[chainsaw buzzing]
Spike: Uh, the princess thanks you for your understanding! Excuse me. Do you have to do this right now? [sneezes] Oh, no! Are those dragon-sneeze trees? [sniffles]
Horticultural Pegasus: Uh, these are too top-heavy. Wouldn't take much to bring these beauties down.
[trees creaking]
Spike: [strained] Can't you just wait a few hours?
Horticultural Pegasus: Sorry, it's a public hazard. I got my orders.
Spike: Well, I've got my orders too from Princess Twi... Twi... Twilight...! [sneezes]
Horticultural Pegasus: Princess Twilight? [laughs] Why didn't you say so? Gee, I reckon they'll keep a few more hours.
Spike: Huh. Good thing I've got the princesses on my side.
[jackhammer rattling]
Spike: [vibrating yelps] Aw, come on! Excuse me? [shouting] Excuse me, sir! I really need you to— [jackhammer stops] —stop right now! Oops.
Public Works Pony: [loudly] Lemme guess, the noise? Sorry, but we can't have a broken water main!
Spike: Ugh, you couldn't do this yesterday?!
Public Works Pony: [loudly] Hey, pal, I'm just tryin' to make sure everything runs smooth for the summit!
Spike: But there is no summit without Princess Twilight, and she needs things to be kept quiet around here. So if you don't mind, I'd—
Public Works Pony: [loudly] All right, all right, if that's how she wants it! [beat] [quickly] But if something happens, it ain't my fault!
[near-silence]
Spike: Hmph! Princess Twilight will be rested, Princess Cadance will be proud, and Princess Spike deserves a little reward. Hah! Princess Spike. [laughs] [licks lips]
"Joe Pescolt" and "March Gustysnows": [arguing]
"Joe Pescolt": ...Oh, lemme tell you somethin', alright? I worked forever on this speech, and I know I have more—
Spike: Uh, hi. Can I help you?
"March Gustysnows": My friend here, the distinguished pony from up Manehattan, and I are in a bit of a pickle, and we need the Princess Twilight to resolve it.
Spike: Uh, can you talk a little quieter? And maybe come back later?
"March Gustysnows": Oh, sure now, gosh, I wish we could but, uh, we're both supposed to give speeches about our local economies in five minutes, and we've been booked in the same hall!
"Joe Pescolt": I had the room first. And let's be honest, my speech is more important.
"March Gustysnows": Point of order there, sir, but I think you'll find that my speech is the more important one, don't'cha know?
"Joe Pescolt": Look, youse is gonna have a lot of unhappy delegates on your hooves unless we get a ruling from Princess Twilight right now!
Spike: [sighs] Lemme see what I can do.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring] Huh?
Spike: [squeals]
Twilight Sparkle: Does something need scheduling?
Spike: Oh, uh, yeah. Two delegates have speeches booked in the same hall. What do I do?
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, no problem. Just put the hay in the apple and eat the candle, hm?
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: [yawns]
[thud]
Spike: Oh, I need an answer, but Twilight can't even think straight! Oh, my gosh, what am I supposed to do?!
[door opens and shuts]
"Joe Pescolt": Well? What did she say? She picked me, right?
"March Gustysnows": Hey, hey, hey. Let's not be too hasty there, good sir. I got a feeling she went with me.
"Joe Pescolt": He-hey, if she didn't pick me, it ain't hard to see that as an insult to all of Manehattan! You know what I'm sayin'?
"March Gustysnows": And it'd sure be a shame to see something like a scheduling issue create a nasty old rift between Whinnyapolis and Ponyville.
"Joe Pescolt": So? What did the Princess say?
"March Gustysnows": Come on, now! Spit it out!
Spike: Um, she said that... Well, she said that she... she wants you to... share it?
[beat]
"Joe Pescolt": If that's what the princess wants, what are ya gonna do?
"March Gustysnows": The princess is always right!
"Joe Pescolt":
Listen. No hard feelings.
This is not about you or me, alright?
I mean, this is...
"March Gustysnows":
Now there ya go,
we got a solution!
I have no hard feelings...
Spike: [sighs] Now, back to more important things! [chews]
Annoyed Delegate: Combining those two talks was a disaster! The hall was overcrowded and the speakers just shouted over each other!
Spike: Huh? B-but—
Annoyed Delegate: Why would the princess have made such a decision?!
[other annoyed delegates chattering]
Spike: Uh, by order of Princess Twilight, be quiet! [echoes out]
Fluffy Clouds: I was really looking forward to the "Don't Spend All Your Bits" Speech, but when I went into the hall, [tearing up] a pony had taken my seat. A pony who used to be my friend!
Spike: Your friend took your seat? Hah, big deal! Why don't you just—
Fluffy Clouds: No offense, but I don't need some random dragon's opinion. I-I want to hear what Princess Twilight thinks.
Spike: [sighs] Fine.
[door opens and shuts]
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
[door opens]
Spike: Uh...
[door shuts]
Spike: The princess says no friendship should end over a seat. You should forgive your friend!
Fluffy Clouds: [gasps] Of course! Oh, the princess is so wise!
[delegates chattering]
Spike: I could tell these delegates anything as long as they think it came from Twilight. [beat] Alright! Who's next?
[musical sequence]
Spike: So, how can Princess Twilight be of service?
Fancy Pants: Well, as host city, the Canterlot delegation feels it's only right that we should get passes to every meeting and party, yes?
Spike: Well, that doesn't seem fair—I mean, Princess Twilight doesn't think that seems fair.
Fancy Pants: Ehhh... yes, yes, very well. It was worth a try though, wasn't it, old chap, hm?
Spike: This is great! I just took care of a whole bunch of stuff that Twilight won't have to worry about when she wakes up! Wonder if anypony else needs the princess's help?
[door opens]
[paper rustling]
Spike: If I can check a few of these meetings off Twilight's schedule, then when she wakes up, she won't have to think about anything but the reception.
[background ponies chattering]
Spike: Uh, it says here you have a meeting with Princess Twilight?
"Frazzle Rock": [lisping] Uh, yuppers. She wanted me to prep her on all the different gemstones in the Citizens of Equestria statue before the reception tonight.
Spike: Okay, go ahead.
"Frazzle Rock": [lisping] Um, well, I'd rather, um, tell the princess directly.
Spike: Well, if it helps, you can call me "Princess Spike". No-no-no, it's alright. The princess asked me to take care of a few things for her. That's why I came to find you.
"Frazzle Rock": [lisping] Um, if you say so.
Spike: The princess says so!
"Frazzle Rock": [lisping] Uh, okay. Let's start with topaz...
Public Works Pony: [bites apple]
Spike: I'm here for your two o'clock!
Public Works Pony: You?! But I'm supposed to be briefing Princess Twilight on the progress with the water main!
Spike: I speak for the Princess.
Public Works Pony: Uh, well, uh, can I start fixing it again? I'm getting a little worried, to be honest.
[pipe groaning]
Spike: Actually, Twilight still needs her rest, and her no-noise policy is still in effect for a few more hours. Sorry.
Princess Cadance: Hey, Spike. What's going on?
Spike: Oh, you know, just settin' 'em up and knockin' 'em down!
Princess Cadance: What do you mean?
Spike: Not only have I kept things quiet so Twilight could sleep, I also took care of all her afternoon meetings so she won't have to worry about them when she wakes up.
Princess Cadance: Are you sure she'd want you doing that? There are so many things to keep track of at this summit.
Spike: Nah, don't worry. I got it covered. I know Twilight so well, it's easy to make decisions like her!
Princess Cadance: Oh, okay. Well, thank you for keeping Twilight's stress level down. As long as that's the real reason you're doing it.
Spike: Well, why else would I be doing it?
Princess Cadance: You're not enjoying speaking for Twilight a little bit?
Spike: Enjoying it? [laughs] No way! The only things I'm doing by order of the princess are for the good of the summit! [laughs to himself]
Spike: [sighs] [vibrating] By order of the princess.
[steam hissing]
Spike: By order of the princess! [chews]
Spike: [through gritted teeth] By order of the princess...!
Spike: [sighs] Princess life is good! [chews]
Princess Cadance: It sure is, but it's also hard work, isn't it?
Spike: Eh, it's not so bad.
Princess Cadance: Spike, I'm concerned you might be abusing your relationship with Twilight.
Spike: What are you talking about? I'm a great princess—I mean, Twilight's a great princess! And I've been working hard to help her! When two delegates had a falling out, I'm the one who fixed their friendship! I listened to that pony drone on about gems for forty-five minutes so Twilight wouldn't have to! I moved a polo match away from the tower so she could sleep! And I didn't even eat that delicious looking statue! I'm a decision-making master!
[beat]
Spike: [sighs] Okay. So maybe I did get a little carried away making decisions. But it's not like anything bad happened.
[thok]
[trees falling]
[water main bursting]
Princess Cadance and Spike: [screaming]
Spike: This is unexpected!
Princess Cadance: I'll go shut off the main! You get rid of the water!
[splashing]
[crystals growing]
[door groaning]
[splash]
Spike: At least the statue's okay. [sniffles] Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no! [sneezes]
[gems tinkling]
Spike: Oh, bless me...
[delegates shouting]
Fancy Pants: Oh, my! What is the meaning of this?!
Spike: Well, uh, you see, there was this polo game, and—
Fancy Pants: How could you let a water main burst on Canterlot's most important day?!
Public Works Pony: Hey, don't look at me! Princess Twilight said to stop working on it!
Fancy Pants: Well, what about these trees?! I ordered them trimmed to avoid just such a situation!
Horticultural Pegasus: But the princess told me to stop, bub!
Fancy Pants: Why would the princess make such horrible decisions?! This all could have been prevented!
[delegates shouting]
Spike: Please, everypony, listen! I'm so sorry all this happened!
Fancy Pants: What are you apologizing for? These were Princess Twilight's awful decisions!
"March Gustysnows": I'm about to blow my stack on Princess Twilight, I'll tell you that for nothin'!
"Joe Pescolt": Yeah, me too!
Fancy Pants: I'll not let Princess Twilight give Canterlot a bad name in the eyes of Equestria! Come on, everypony! Let's go give her a piece of our minds!
[delegates shouting]
Spike: Please! You've got it all wrong!
[delegates shouting]
Spike: [panting] Wait! I mean, [hushed] wait!
Fancy Pants: What is it now?! There's an angry mob here that demands satisfaction!
Spike: It's just that, uh, we don't want to wake the princess, do we?
"Joe Pescolt": Wake her?! What?! You're tellin' me that she's asleep?!
[delegates shouting]
[door opens and shuts]
[lock clicks]
Spike: [panting]
Fancy Pants: [muffled] Princess, we must speak at once!
Spike: She is SLEEPING!
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Spike: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: [yawns] I'm glad you're here, Spike. We've got a lot to do! Do you know if the water main was fixed?
Spike: Uh, you seem well-rested.
Twilight Sparkle: I haven't slept like that since I was a filly!
Spike: You haven't? Well, at least I got one thing right. And it was the one thing Cadance asked of me. Maybe I did do a good job today!
[knocking]
[doors burst open]
Spike: [yelps]
[delegates shouting]
Twilight Sparkle: Fancy Pants, what's wrong?
Fancy Pants: Don't play games with me, Princess! You know why I'm here!
Twilight Sparkle: Is this about the special privileges you wanted? Because this seems a little extreme!
Fancy Pants: The special privileges?! The last thing on my mind is special privileges!
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on, Spike?
Spike: Um... you needed to sleep. And Princess Cadance told me you weren't to be disturbed. And there was this bird, and, well... long story short, I made a few decisions on your behalf.
Twilight Sparkle: A few decisions?!
Spike: Well, maybe more than a few, but I had good intentions! Honest! Until I... didn't anymore. I'm sorry, Twilight. I guess I got a little carried away. It-it just felt so good to have ponies caring about my opinions on such important matters. I guess I was just enjoying feeling like a princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, Spike, one of the most important things a princess can do is realize when she's made a mistake and fix it.
Spike: How do I do that?
Princess Cadance: You could start with them.
Spike: [sighs] Uh, hi there, everypony. So I guess I owe you all a pretty big apology. It's funny. Here we are at a summit that brings together ponies from all across Equestria, and all I could think about was myself. You all came here to celebrate the things that make each of our cities so unique and special. But instead of getting into the spirit of things like all of you, I used my friend's position to make myself feel good.
[gems clinking]
Fancy Pants: The Canterlot ruby goes here, old sport.
"March Gustysnows": And ours goes here, don't'cha know?
[delegates chattering, gems clinking]
Spike: Does this mean you forgive me?
"Joe Pescolt": Sure! You know, the whole idea of the statue is that when each of us plays our own small part, it adds up to somethin' great.
Fancy Pants: Quite. Just like how all our cities make up the beautiful land of Equestria!
Princess Cadance: I hereby dedicate the Citizens of Equestria statue to everypony who plays their part, no matter how big or how small!
[delegates cheering]
Spike: [sniffles] Aw, come on! [inhales for a sneeze]
[credits]

Party Pooped

Twilight Sparkle: You look nervous. There's no reason to be nervous. Nothing to worry about. Everything's gonna be fine!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, tell those butterflies in your tummy to beat it! Making new friends is always fun.
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhh...
Fluttershy: They're probably just as nervous as you are.
Applejack: You've been plannin' this shindig for weeks. You know everything about these fellers. It's gonna be dandy.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales] [exhales] You're right. Remember, Equestria and Yakyakistan haven't opened their borders for hundreds of moons. In fact, Yakyakistan is so far north of the Crystal Mountains, nopony's even been there! Imagine the look on Princess Celestia's face when she finds out we made friends with a yak prince! [nervous laugh] I'm calm! I'm calm...
Spike: [blows trumpet]
[carpet unfurling]
Prince Rutherford: Ponies! Greetings, ponies!
[teleporting zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Prince Rutherford, your Majesty. On behalf of all of us, I welcome you to Equestria.
Prince Rutherford: Me honored. Yaks hope for great friendship between ponies and yaks. [echoing] Friends for a thousand moons!
Twilight Sparkle: You must be hungry after a long journey.
[table scraping]
Twilight Sparkle: We've prepared a banquet of traditional yak foods.
Prince Rutherford: If things not perfect, yaks get mad. Yaks always get mad when things not perfect!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
Prince Rutherford: [sniffs] [chewing] [spits] This no taste like yak food! Fake pony food make yaks mad!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring]
[assorted noises of destruction]
Pinkie Pie: Is it okay to be nervous now?
[theme song]
[walls cracking]
Applejack: Them yaks sure have a funny way of sayin' "howdy."
Rarity: They're different, that's all. Very... different.
Rainbow Dash: I think they broke my record for most stuff broken in under a minute. I mean, they even broke the trophy.
Twilight Sparkle: All we have to do is show them how great it can be to have friends before Princess Celestia arrives for the friendship party tonight. Now, who read the seven-volume cross-indexed history of Yakyakistan I recommended?
Rainbow Dash: Um... I-I had a thing...
Pinkie Pie: I did, I did! Did you know they live so far north of the Crystal Empire that it's cold all the time? Yaks have yak fur to keep them warm. [squee]
Applejack: Pretty sure that's what fur's always for, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: I know! Yaks are so cool!
[vase smashing]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, can you show them around town? I know you have to plan the friendship party too, but it would really help make them feel welcome.
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry. They'll be in good hooves with me.
Twilight Sparkle: Remember, we want to make sure Equestria feels like home. That means doing everything we can to make this place feel like Yakyakistan.
Pinkie Pie: No problem!
Twilight Sparkle: Good. Let's get out there and make some new friends!
Main cast sans Twilight: [cries of agreement]
Applejack: We know y'all are noble warriors who avoid the so-called finer things, so me and my family would be honored if you rested here in the barn during your visit.
Pinkie Pie: Applejack and I made hay beds like you're used to back in Yakyakistan.
Prince Rutherford: Hmm... This perfect.
Pinkie Pie: You can snooze here all afternoon, 'cause you're gonna need a lot of energy for my party tonight!
Applejack: [sighs] That wasn't so hard.
Prince Rutherford: Wait! This not yak hay!
Pinkie Pie: Well, we didn't have actual hay from Yakyakistan, but we tried our best to make it just like yours.
Prince Rutherford: Not perfect! Yaks destroy!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring and grunting]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, what do we do?!
Pinkie Pie: And now, for your entertainment pleasure... Presenting animals, Yakyakistan style!
[animals chittering]
Prince Rutherford: Animals cute.
Fluttershy: Oh. Thank goodness.
[thud]
Prince Rutherford: Wait. These antlers lie! These not Yakyakistani animals! Yaks smash!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring and grunting]
[teaware shattering]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, well... There's still other things we can do. I think.
Rarity: Yes! These are some of my favorite materials. Very rare, imported from the Crystal Empire to match your northern sensibilities. I hope you'll find them—
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [chewing]
Rarity: ...delicious.
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [spits]
Prince Rutherford: This no taste like yak fabric! Yaks destroy!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring and grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Everything's gonna be fine. You'll just... make it up to them. Somehow.
[birds tweeting]
Pinkie Pie: Listen up! Tell your faces to hold onto their frowns, 'cause they're about to get turned upside-down!
Prince Rutherford: Hold your frown, face!
Pinkie Pie: Hit it, Rainbow Dash!
[snow booming]
Pinkie Pie: Just like Yakyakistan snow, right? Because snow is snow, no matter where it comes from.
Prince Rutherford: [slurp] This not yak snow!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring and grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Seriously?! ...Seriously?
Applejack: Y'know... it's goin' okay.
Rarity: Satisfactory, I'd say.
Rainbow Dash: It could be better.
Fluttershy: [whispering] It's not very good.
Pinkie Pie: It's a disaster!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, tonight's Yakyakistan theme party is more important than ever! You'll make them forget all about this afternoon, right? Because if it's not perfect, they're gonna smash everything! And I'm not sure how much more smashing this visit can take!
Pinkie Pie: I definitely will! I think. Maybe...?
Applejack: You're the best gosh-darn party planner in Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: You'll show 'em a good time!
Fluttershy: You can do it!
Rarity: We have absolute confidence in your abilities, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: It's going to be my most happy-tacular party ever! I hope!
Rainbow Dash: Why are your eyes darting around like that?
Pinkie Pie: It's what I do when I'm not nervous! [laughing hysterically]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, I don't know what we'd do without you—
Pinkie Pie: Me either! Gotta go!
[hoofsteps trailing off]
Pinkie Pie: [hyperventilating] Gummy, what am I gonna do? I had all this amazing stuff planned for the party, but they're gonna hate it! There's no way to make Equestria feel like Yakyakistan. They're just too sensitive! Even Fluttershy made them mad! Fluttershy! Oh... I need a new idea, and I need it now. How am I supposed to make this party feel like Yakyakistan without actually going there and bringing something back?!
Gummy: [slurps]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Gummy, you're a genius. [kisses]
Twilight Sparkle: And this is Sugarcube Corner. They're working hard to make your traditional Yakyakistan cake.
Prince Rutherford: Vanilla extract balance very tricky.
Yaks: Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you mind, um, waiting here for one moment?
[teleporting zap]
Twilight Sparkle: How's tonight's party coming? I'm doing what I can, but it's really up to you at this point! ...Pinkie? Where are you?!
Twilight Sparkle: [teeth chattering] Did you find her?
Fluttershy: Angel and I searched the forest, but...
Rainbow Dash: Aerial recon turned up nothing either.
Applejack: I searched the farm inside and out. No Pinkie Pie. But I did find a set of Granny Smith's dentures under the house, so... not a complete loss.
Rarity: She's simply vanished!
Twilight Sparkle: But the party! It's all we have left! What are we gonna do?!
[whack]
Gummy: [barfs]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Don't worry. I'll be back in time for the party. Love, Pinkie Pie." If Pinkie Pie says she'll be back in time for the party, she'll be back. We have to trust her. Right? [nervous laugh] No reason to freak out!
Fluttershy: Don't worry, Twilight.
Applejack: When it comes to parties, I think she knows what she's doin'.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales] [exhales] You're right. Let's just focus on keeping the yaks happy 'til she's back.
Rainbow Dash: Piece o' cake.
Twilight Sparkle: The cake!
Mrs. Cake: One bite, and you'll be transported right back to Yakyakistan. [nervous laugh] I hope.
[teleporting zap]
Prince Rutherford: [chewing] Hmm... Ponies too heavy on vanilla extract!
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [roaring and grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: We've never needed a party so badly.
Conductor: Next stop, Crystal Empire!
Pinkie Pie: And so my quest begins. I know what you're thinking. "Why go to Yakyakistan alone, Pinkie Pie?" Because I'm the party planner. This burden falls on my rump and my rump alone. If I want a great party, I gotta climb the mountains north of the Crystal Empire, find Yakyakistan, and come back with something authentic! Know what I mean?
[brakes screeching and hissing]
Pinkie Pie: Did we go the wrong way? Where's all the snow? Please tell me this is magical sand-colored snow. [spits] Nope. Sand. Definitely sand.
Conductor: Dodge City. End of the line, I'm afraid. All trains had to stop. Sheep decided to sit on the tracks.
[sheep baaing]
Pinkie Pie: Curse you, sheep! Thanks for you help, conductor.
[smack]
Pinkie Pie: Cherry Jubilee!
Cherry Jubilee: Pinkie Pie?! I reckoned I eyeballed you crossin' my way right now.
Pinkie Pie: How are you? You look amazing! I need help.
Cherry Jubilee: I'm dandy as a daffodil and fit as a floribunda. What can I do ya for?
Pinkie Pie: Have you heard of Yakyakistan? Do you have any idea how I can get there?
Cherry Jubilee: Mark your calendar, missy, 'cause this right here's your lucky day! I'm headin' north to the Crystal Empire myself for a delivery. I ought to warn you though – me and the boys are powerful tired 'cause we was up all night countin' cherries. Hey there! Wake up!
Pinkie Pie: Counting cherries? How many?
Cherry Jubilee: Four hundred and seventeen thousand, two hundred and thirty-four. Yee-haw!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: And so my quest resumes. As I stare across the endless desert, I tell myself I will soon triumphantly enter the homeland of our noble guests and return with a prize to make the best party they've ever seen. Know what I mean?
Cherry Jubilee: [snoring]
Pinkie Pie: Cherry? Ravine. Ravine!
[alarm clock ringing]
[water splashing]
Pinkie Pie: Wake up! Wake up! [grunting] Stooooop!
[screeching]
[thuds]
Cherry Jubilee: Huh?! [gasps] Whoa. I was dreamin' about a ravine. Ravine!
Pinkie Pie: That's what I said.
[rock cracks, snaps]
[piano playing]
Prince Rutherford and Yaks: [sobbing]
Prince Rutherford: Music beautiful. Much soul.
Twilight Sparkle: Phew!
Spike: [sighs] When Twilight told me to stall— I-I mean, entertain you, I thought there's no way I could—
[piano continues playing]
Yaks: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Prince Rutherford: Piano play itself?! Music a lie! [roars]
[piano smashing]
Prince Rutherford: We demand party! Party now or yaks no friends!
Twilight Sparkle: No! Just a little longer!
Prince Rutherford: No more longer! We leave now! Yak go to train, return with more yaks! We declare war!
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: No Pinkie Pie? What's this?!
Applejack: Heh-heh. We panicked and tried to plan our own party.
Rainbow Dash: It's sort of panic-themed.
Twilight Sparkle: The yaks are going home! This is awful! I wanted to surprise Princess Celestia. Now the only surprise is that I may have just started a war.
[wind blowing]
Pinkie Pie: There we were, face-to-face with Falling Pony Ravine. Down, down, down! And then, suddenly... Pow! We were rescued mid-air by the Wonderbolts! And then they gave me a ride to Manehattan, I joined a traveling band, we played some shows here and there, got popular, almost made it big until creative differences tore us apart. And that's when I knew I had to get back on with my journey to the Crystal Empire, the gateway to Yakyakistan! And so here I am. It was a major adventure that took most of the afternoon. Know what I mean?
Princess Cadance: This is it. The northern boundary of the Crystal Empire. Beyond lies Yakyakistan. Nopony who's attempted this climb has ever returned. Are you sure you have to do this?
Pinkie Pie: I do.
Princess Cadance: Good luck, Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle: How could she be so late to the party? This isn't like her.
Fluttershy: I'm sure she's trying her best.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie's tougher than she looks.
Twilight Sparkle: I know you're right, but... I wish she was here. I put too much pressure on her. I let everypony down. And Princess Celestia will be here any minute and see that I haven't made new friends. I've made new enemies. [sighs]
[gears clicking]
Main cast sans Pinkie: [screaming]
[snow shuffling]
[creature roaring]
Pinkie Pie: Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie! I'm looking for Yakyakistan. You know, faraway land, lots of yaks? Maybe you've heard of it?
Monster: [roaring]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa-ho-ho! Slow down! I can't understand a word you're saying—
Monster: [growling]
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] There it is! Yakyakistan!
[sledding]
[gate opens]
[snow cracks, breaks]
Pinkie Pie: Noooooooooo...! [fades in and out]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. Is everypony alright?
Fluttershy: I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can see a little bit.
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Gah! Nope.
[light flickers on]
Main cast sans Pinkie: Ooooh...
Applejack: Look at these! Pinkie Pie's made files for everypony in town!
Fluttershy: With exactly what kind of parties we like.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie has a secret party-planning cave?! How cool is this?!
Fluttershy: [reading] "Twilight Sparkle likes vanilla ice cream, red balloons, dancing..."
Twilight Sparkle: That's right!
Fluttershy: "But she's afraid of quesadillas."
Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm not! They're just so... [shudders] cheesy.
Pinkie Pie: [fading in] ...oooooooo! No! I'm all the way back where I started! Gummy, I was this close to helping Twilight befriend the yaks. Now I've just let everypony down.
[muffled chatter]
Pinkie Pie: Hmm?
Main cast sans Pinkie: [talking over each other]
Applejack: Looky here. It's notes for the party she wants to throw for her folks' fiftieth anniversary. But they ain't nearly that old! Huh. She's already plannin' their one-hundredth too. And their five-hundredth?
Twilight Sparkle: I had no idea she worked so hard on her parties.
Rainbow Dash: She may be more organized than you, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Let's not get carried away.
Rarity: I just wish Pinkie Pie were here so we could tell her how much we all appreciate her hard work.
Pinkie Pie: [tearing up] Thank you! Thank you! I love you too! All of you!
Twilight Sparkle: You're back!
Pinkie Pie: I tried to go to Yakyakistan so I could bring something back for my party. But at the last second, I made a mistake. [sighs] I worked harder on this party than any party ever. But I'm still just a big failure.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, you're not a failure.
Fluttershy: What matters is how hard you tried.
Rainbow Dash: Who else would've gone all across Equestria to plan one party?
Pinkie Pie: You know... the trip was really hard. But everypony I met along the way was so helpful. I just wish the yaks could see how friendly and wonderful and great Equestria really is! [gasps] I just got the best party idea ever!
Twilight Sparkle: It's too late. The yaks left on the last train.
Pinkie Pie: Um, no, they didn't. [squeals] Trust me! There are a whole lot of sheep out there!
[sloop]
Fluttershy: So, um, do we walk back up the slide or... or what?
Prince Rutherford: Yaks stuck here?! Why trains not work?! [growling]
Pinkie Pie: I never thought I'd say this, but... thank you, sheep! And now, if it's okay with you, it's party time!
Yaks: Ooh.
[ponies chattering]
Prince Rutherford: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Pinkie. This came together quick, even for you.
Pinkie Pie: What can I say? I'm good at what I do. Prince Rutherford, every time we tried to make something in Equestria feel like Yakyakistan, we couldn't get it right. When I got back from my adventure, I realized something. We shouldn't try to make Equestria feel like your home. We should try to make you feel at home in Equestria. And that means showing you why we love it here, so you'll love it too.
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony work hard to make yaks feel at home. Now yaks happy. No declare war.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Prince Rutherford: Ponies and yaks... friends?
Pinkie Pie: For a thousand moons?
Prince Rutherford: For a thousand moons!
Mane Six, Princess Celestia, and Yaks: [cheering]
Princess Celestia: I am very impressed, princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Heh. Just doing my best to spread friendship.
Princess Celestia: And you did a wonderful job of it. You and your friends.
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony, you understand yaks now.
Pinkie Pie: Aww, come here, you!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: [strained] Wow! Too strong! Okay, okay, okay!
[credits]

Amending Fences

[dishes clinking]
Spike: [sighs] You know the worst thing about you being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to you for advice about friendship?
Twilight Sparkle: What's funny about that?
Spike: You know, 'cause you used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about? I had good friends in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any photos from before we moved to Ponyville? And look at you now – the Princess of Friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] This is a disaster! All my old friends! I can't remember any of their names right now! But do you really think that they think I'm a bad friend?!
Spike: Well, I only meant that you've come so far. You're a great friend now and—
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I feel terrible! I've gotta make it up to them! Pack a bag, Spike! We're going to Canterlot! And make a list of my friends' names.
Spike: Aw. Me and my big mouth.
[theme song]
Spike: Come on, Twilight. You're getting worked up about nothin'.
Twilight Sparkle: The only logical place to start is at the beginning.
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. It's exactly how we left it! [blows] Look! It's Predictions and Prophecies! And it's still open to the Elements of Harmony!
Spike: And here's that present I was gonna give Moon Dancer! Huh. Guess she won't be needing that. Hey, look! The rest of it's still here!
Twilight Sparkle: How could I have let this happen?
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Princess Celestia gave you an assignment. Nopony could blame you for that.
Twilight Sparkle: But look at the way I left this place. It's a total mess! Just like how I left my friendships.
[window squeaks]
Twilight Sparkle: I've gotta make it up toooo... uh...
Spike: Oh! Uh, Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, Lyra Heartstrings, and Moon Dancer.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. Them.
Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Come on! We've got work to do!
Spike: [groans] Have you been awake all night?
Twilight Sparkle: I did a little research, and I think I know where we can find Minuette! That is one of my friends, right?
[knock on door]
Spike: Uh, it's not too late to forget I opened my big mouth.
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike, I'm glad you opened your big mouth. These ponies have probably been suffering ever since I left. Wondering why their supposed friend would treat them so badly!
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Minuette?
Minuette: Twilight Sparkle! [laughs] You old so-and-so! What are you doing here?! Hey, Spike! Look at these wings, huh?! [giggles] Hey, grab a picture of me and the princess, will ya?! I tried to tell my co-workers we used to be friends back when. [giggles] But they've never believed me!
[lens focusing]
Minuette: Wait-wait-wait! Really fluff 'em up, huh? [giggles]
[flash developing]
[snap]
Minuette: So what are you doing here? I mean, I know you're here all the time, but you never come to see me. Hey! I just had the greatest idea! You wanna go see Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! My old friends!
Minuette: It'll be great! [giggles] Come on! Let's fly! Get it? [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: This is perfect! I can apologize to all three of them at once!
Spike: Let's hope they're not as traumatized as Minuette.
Twilight Sparkle, Twinkleshine, Minuette and Lemon Hearts: [giggling]
Minuette: She did! Twinkleshine literally spit out her oats when she heard you were the Princess of Friendship!
Twinkleshine: We saw you at the coronation. That was some shindig!
Twilight Sparkle: You did?
Twinkleshine: Sure! We see you all the time!
Minuette: You remember our old friend, Lyra, right? [giggles] She lives in Ponyville too. We're always over there visiting her. Or she's coming over here! [giggles] We've thought about asking you to join us from time to time, but we just sorta figured you'd moved on.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
[beat]
Lemon Hearts: [clears throat] So what brings you by anyway? All those times you've come back to Canterlot, you never had donuts with us before.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, uh, you see... [sighs] I came to apologize.
Minuette: [gulps] For what?
Twilight Sparkle: Before I left Canterlot, I didn't really appreciate my friends. And that's because I didn't know how important friendship was. But I've learned so much since I moved to Ponyville. I learned what it means to be a good friend and that I certainly wasn't one to the three of you. So for all the pain I caused you, I am truly sorry.
Twinkleshine, Minuette and Lemon Hearts: [giggling]
Minuette: Oh, come on, Twilight! Sure, it might've stung a little bit when you ran off to Ponyville without saying goodbye, but it's not like we weren't used to that from you!
Twinkleshine: Yeah, we didn't take it personally.
Lemon Hearts: But it's really good to see you now. Hey! Anypony up for a blast from the past?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] It's our old science lab! I have so many great memories of this place!
Minuette: [giggles] Remember when Lemon Hearts got her head stuck in that beaker?
Twinkleshine and Minuette: [giggling]
[fillies giggling]
Young Twilight Sparkle: But according to this book, you're supposed to add the sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: I read ahead, and to make a proper salt lick, you need to add the molasses first.
Young Twilight Sparkle: Well, I read ahead too, Moon Dancer, and I'm sure it said sodium chloride first.
Young Moon Dancer: [dryly] Oh. I've got the wrong book. That's so hilarious.
Twinkleshine, Minuette and Lemon Hearts: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Whatever happened to Moon Dancer?
Lemon Hearts: Moon Dancer?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, you know, our other friend.
Twinkleshine: Oh, right! Moon Dancer! I remember her!
Lemon Hearts: I wonder what she's up to.
Minuette: Yeah, I always liked her. We just sort of lost touch after you left.
Twinkleshine: I think she went to live out by the stadium, didn't she?
Lemon Hearts: Well, let's go see.
Minuette: I think this is the place. Didn't used to look like this, though.
Twilight Sparkle: [knocks on door]
[door breaks]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[door creaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer?
Moon Dancer: What do you want? I'm trying to study.
Twilight Sparkle: It's us! Your old friends!
Moon Dancer: Ugh!
[door slams]
Minuette: [nervous chuckle] That's old Moon Dancer, all right. She always did like her books. Hey! Kinda like you used to be, huh? [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly how I used to be.
Spike: [sighs] Come on, Twilight! We've been watching her for three days! Library, house, library, house. That's it!
Twilight Sparkle: Nopony looks at her or says hello or even gives her a smile. It's like she doesn't even exist. Was she always like this?
Minuette: Well, she always was a little shy. But for a while there, she was really starting to come out of her shell. Remember when she threw that party? Oh, right. I think you might've been busy that day.
Twinkleshine: There you are, Twilight! Moon Dancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry, girls... I've got a lot of studying to catch up on.
Minuette: Thought she finally might be letting her guard down a little with that party. We invited her out a few times after that. But she was always too busy studying. So, eventually, we just stopped asking.
Twilight Sparkle: I had no idea that party was so important to her. I've gotta find a way to make it up to her!
[door opens]
[door closes]
[quill writing]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] [feigned surprise] Oh, my gosh! Moon Dancer?! Is that—
Ponies: Shh!
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer, can I talk to you for a min—
Moon Dancer: Shh! What is this?
Twilight Sparkle: Eh, a bubble of silence. I haven't seen you in a while and I thought it might be nice to catch up.
Moon Dancer: For what purpose?
Twilight Sparkle: You know, 'cause we're friends.
[bubble pops]
Ponies: Shhh!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm really sorry to bother you. I was just hoping we would go outside and talk for a bit.
[page turning]
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] I'm sorry I skipped your party.
Moon Dancer: [screams]
[book closes]
Ponies: [Shhh! Quiet!]
Moon Dancer: [growls] [whispering] Why won't you leave me alone? I'm trying to study! You've got the wrong pony! I don't have parties!
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] You did once. And I was so caught up in my own studying that I didn't take your feelings into account.
Moon Dancer: [whispering] Look, Twilight Twinkle—
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Sparkle.
Moon Dancer: [whispering] Whatever! I just need to be alone so I can study without some crazy pony trying to make friends, all right?!
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Fine!
Moon Dancer: [whispering] Wait. How did you get into my book like that?
Twilight Sparkle: I've been studying a new studying technique. I can only do it for a few minutes, but you'd be amazed how much you can pick up when you're actually in a book!
Moon Dancer: It's one of Hayscartes' methods.
Twilight Sparkle: You know Hayscartes?
Moon Dancer: Of course! He's a genius!
Twilight Sparkle: I have a copy of his Treatise on Ponies, you know.
Moon Dancer: [gasps]
Moon Dancer: What is this place?
Twilight Sparkle: This is where I used to live. You mean, I never had you over?
Moon Dancer: Wow! A first edition of Principles of Magic! Hey, didn't I give this to you?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe?
Moon Dancer: I did! Look, I even wrote something! "To my friend, Twilight Sparkle. Thanks for introducing me to the classics." I can see by the fact that you left it here that it meant a lot to you.
Twilight Sparkle: Look, I didn't bring you over here for even more poignant reminders of what a bad friend I was. I brought you here to give you this. You can come here whenever you want and study to your heart's content.
Moon Dancer: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: But first, you've gotta do something for me.
Moon Dancer: What?
Twilight Sparkle: Have dinner with our old friends tonight.
Moon Dancer: I can't. I'm reorganizing my biology scrolls.
Twilight Sparkle: I've been spending a lot of time with Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lemon Hearts since I've been back. They really miss you.
Moon Dancer: Look! I already told you! The last thing I need is a bunch of ridiculous friend-making keeping me from studying!
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer, wait! A wise pony once taught me that there's more to life than dusty old books!
Moon Dancer: I tried friendship and it's just not for me. Now, if you'll excuse me...
Twilight Sparkle: What if I taught you Hayscartes' method?
Minuette: So, uh, what are you studying these days?
Moon Dancer: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.
Minuette: Yowza! [chuckles] You planning on being a professor or something?
Moon Dancer: No.
Minuette: So you're just... studying.
Moon Dancer: Can I go now?
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer, please.
Minuette: It's all right, Twilight. We're having a good time. Right, everypony?
Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts: [unsure sounds]
Minuette: So, uh... Spike, tell Moon Dancer that story 'bout how Twilight had to read a book about doing a sleepover!
Spike: [inhales]
Moon Dancer: Slumber 101? I've read that.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! [chuckles] Really? Well, uh, did you know Lemon Hearts here works at the Canterlot palace?
Lemon Hearts: Uh, yeah. It's true. I do the big events mostly. State dinners, that sort of thing.
All but Moon Dancer: [awkward noises]
Moon Dancer: Ugh!
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer! [teleportation zap] You've gotta give friendship a chance!
Moon Dancer: Dah! I gave friendship a chance a long time ago! It didn't work out then – it isn't gonna work out now!
Spike: Twilight, are you all right?
Twilight Sparkle: No. No, I'm not.
Spike: W-Where are you goin'?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Spike. I really messed this one up. That party was everything to her. I can only imagine what it must've felt like when I didn't show up.
Minuette: Hey, Moon Dancer! Look at this spread, huh?
Moon Dancer: Thank you so much for coming!
Twinkleshine: Of course. We wouldn't miss one of our best friends' parties.
Moon Dancer: Is Twilight coming?
[beat]
Moon Dancer: Oh. Okay.
Minuette: Hey, we'll still have fun, right? [nervous chuckle]
Moon Dancer: Sure...
Twilight Sparkle: If there was only a way to undo the damage... I know what I need to do. And I know just who can help me.
Minuette: [knocks on door] Huh. Guess they must've gone back to Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: Wheeeeeeeee!
Minuette: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] Whoooooaaa!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: That was awesome! We gotta go flying more often, Twilight!
Minuette: There you are! [laughs] I thought you threw in the old towel and headed home!
Twilight Sparkle: I did head home. But not to throw in the towel. I went to get my secret weapon. Minuette, meet—
Minuette: Hey! Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Minuette! Twilight, you didn't say Minuette would be here!
Twilight Sparkle: You two know each other?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, sure! She was one of Cadance's bridesmaids! We hang out all the time when she's in Ponyville! Didn't you know that? Ha! And you call yourself the Princess of Friendship! Twilight briefed me on the way here. We'll need fifteen bags of confetti and as many hooves as we can get.
Minuette: Let's go! We can pass by the donut place on the way!
Spike: And what are we gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: Just come with me.
Moon Dancer: Ooh! A Brief History of the Wagon Harness! Huh? The Life and Times of Morari the Maneless?
Moon Dancer: [gasps]
[books thudding]
Moon Dancer: What is this?
Twilight Sparkle: It's a party. For you.
Pinkie Pie: Surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on in!
Moon Dancer: Thanks but no thanks. I don't do parties.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I know. And I think it's my fault. Back when we were in school together, you invited me to a party. I was so focused on my studies that I didn't show up.
Moon Dancer: Big deal!
Twilight Sparkle: It was a big deal. And now that I realize how important friendship is, I'd like to make up for my mistake with a new party. A party in honor of my friend Moon Dancer! Please, you've got to let me make this up to you.
Moon Dancer: And you think this is gonna do it, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, yes?
Moon Dancer: Well, sure, why wouldn't it? That was only the first time I put myself out there, and then you didn't even bother to show up! Then you left town without saying goodbye even though we were supposed to be friends! I was humiliated! I felt like I wasn't important! I never wanted to let myself be hurt like that again! Those three finally convinced me that I had value! That other ponies might like me and want to be my friend! And you! Didn't! Show! Up! [screams, sobs]
Pinkie Pie: [whispers to Spike]
Twilight Sparkle: You're right. This party can't make up for the way I hurt you. But please, don't let my mistake be the reason you can't be friends with anypony else.
Minuette: We were your friends then and we'd be honored to be your friends now.
Moon Dancer: [sobs, sniffles] What? That's the librarian! The bookseller! My sister!
Minuette: You've got a lot of friends, Moon Dancer.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Moon Dancer. I've faced magical creatures, the end of Equestria, all sorts of things. But seeing how my actions affected you, that was one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
Moon Dancer: [sobs] Thank you, Twilight. I never realized how much I needed to hear that. Now come on, everypony! Let's party! Right?
Pinkie Pie: Right!
[party cannon squeak]
All: YAAAAAAY!!!
[polka]
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's time for us to go, Moon Dancer.
Moon Dancer: Thank you for helping me make some new friends. Even if they are my old friends.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. We'll come back and visit soon.
Moon Dancer: That would be great! You've still gotta teach me that Hayscartes technique!
Twilight Sparkle: Deal.
Spike: Um, Moon Dancer? It got kinda banged up, but here's a little something I wanted to give you back at your first party.
Moon Dancer, Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine: [chattering and shouting]
[credits]

Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?

[hooves galloping]
Princess Luna: Greetings, Tantabus. I am ready. Do your worst. [grunting]
Main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna's turning into Nightmare Moon again!
Nightmare Moon: [evil laughter]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah? Well, we've got the cure for that!
[magic zaps]
Nightmare Moon: [evil laughter] Wait! What is it doing?! No! It's gone! [grunting]
Main cast: [cheering]
Princess Luna: [gasps] What? My dream ended... happily? That. Cannot. Happen!
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, this is amazing!
Rainbow Dash: [yawns] [tired throughout] Yeah, Rarity. Thanks for setting all this up.
Fluttershy: [tired throughout] A grooming day for our pets really was a great idea.
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: [tired throughout] Oh, my! Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get my normal beauty sleep last night...
Opalescence: [hisses]
Twilight Sparkle: [tired throughout] You know... [yawns] I didn't sleep well either.
Applejack: [tired throughout] Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh.
Pinkie Pie: I'm totally beat too!
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: All right, Winona. Time for your brushin'.
Gummy: [squeaks]
[splash]
Applejack: Oops. I guess I'm too plumb tuckered out to do this right.
Fluttershy: [yawns] I even went to bed early last night... but then I had a really scary nightmare.
Rest of main cast: Me too!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, only, you know, I didn't think mine was that scary!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, mine sure was. There was this blue smoke monster and... what?
Fluttershy: I dreamt about a blue smoke thingy too!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: Me too!
Rainbow Dash: So what? Probably just a coincidence.
Twilight Sparkle: That's an awfully big coincidence.
Spike: Huh. I wonder why I didn't have that nightmare. I slept great!
Rarity: So then, what could've given us all the same nightmare?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, but I do know who might. Spike, could you send a scroll to Princess Luna?
Spike: Sure! All set!
Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Luna, last night my friends and I all dreamt of a creature made of blue smoke. I'm sure you're very busy, but [yawns] when you have the chance, please let me know if you have any idea what it could mean. Yours, [yawns] Princess Twilight Sparkle. You can leave out the yawns.
[scroll rustling]
Spike: [blows fire]
[bang]
Princess Luna: Which of you saw the creature of blue smoke in your nightmare?!
Fluttershy: Wow. That was fast.
Twilight Sparkle: We all did.
Spike: Not me!
Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [simultaneously] Ugh, we know!
Twilight Sparkle: So you've encountered the smoke monster too?
Princess Luna: The Tantabus is a creature of my nightmares. It escaped from my slumbers yesterday.
Fluttershy: But how did it get into ours?
Princess Luna: The Tantabus is like a parasite. My dreams must no longer be enough for it. Now it seeks others to infect and corrupt. It must have learned of you six from seeing you in my dream.
Spike: Whoa-whoa-whoa. So what you're saying is... you dreamt about all of them, and not me? [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, so Smokey gave us bad dreams. No biggie.
Princess Luna: I saw that the Tantabus had grown more powerful, but I did not realize that power was enough to enable it to escape my dreams. If its power grows, it could very well find a way to escape into the real world. It could turn all of Equestria into a living nightmare!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, okay, okay, I take it back! That does sound bad! Really bad!
Twilight Sparkle: We've prepared everything exactly as you requested.
Princess Luna: Good. As you six slumber here, I will pursue the creature into whichever of your dreams it infests.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! It'll be like a princess sleepover!
Twilight Sparkle: Speaking of princesses, aren't you gonna ask Celestia for her help as well?
Princess Luna: There is nothing my sister can do. She has no power in the realm of sleep. Only I can move from dream to dream. I am afraid nopony can help me tonight.
Applejack: Even us?
Princess Luna: Especially you. You have all suffered so much because of me. You need only slumber while I hunt the Tantabus in your dreams.
Spike: I know you said nopony can help, but I'm no pony! I'm gonna stay up and watch over you guys just in case!
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, thank you, Spike!
Applejack: [yawns] One good thing about not sleepin' well last night – shouldn't be too hard to fall asleep now.
Pinkie Pie: Are you kidding?! This is so exciting, I don't know how I'm ever going to— [snores loudly]
Rest of main cast: [sleeping noises]
[magic noises]
Rarity: Oh, my! [gasps] This is simply divine! How avant garde!
[dress roaring]
Rarity: Forget avant garde! I should have said en garde! [gasps]
Princess Luna: It is here!
[dresses roaring]
Rarity: [gasps] It was such a pretty little chiffon...! What kind of monster would do this?!
Princess Luna: The Tantabus.
Rarity: Then let's stop it!
Princess Luna: No, please! I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me. I will catch it.
[dresses roaring]
[magic zaps]
[bricks laying]
Princess Luna: It has jumped into another dream! I am sorry, but if I am to stop it, I must follow it where you cannot.
Rarity: Go! I should be able to handle things here. [gulps] I hope...!
Pinkie Pie: La-la-la-la-la! Whee! Whee, ha-ha!
[dragon roaring]
Pinkie Pie: La-la-la-la-la!
Princess Luna: I followed the Tantabus here. Now I need only find—
Pinkie Pie: Sorry, can't help it! An idea pops into my head, it— [gasps] Ooh, cake!
[splat]
[cake growls]
Pinkie Pie: Ew, cake!
[splat]
[magic zap]
Princess Luna: [inhales] [grunts] No!
Pinkie Pie: Sorry!
[magic zap]
Pinkie Pie: Who wants ice cream?!
Fluttershy: Mmm, it's so nice to be the pet for once.
[magic zap]
Giant Evil Angel: [roars]
Fluttershy: N-n-n-n-nice... giant... evil Angel...! [screams] Phew! Oh, thank you, princess!
[magic zaps]
[crunching]
Applejack: [sighs] Now this is what I call an incredible dream.
[magic zaps]
[punching and kicking]
Princess Luna: I can see the Tantabus has already turned your slumbers into a nightmare!
Rainbow Dash: What are you talking about? This is my favorite dream!
[punch]
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: Hyah!
Sunflowers: [singing to the tune of "This Old Man"]
We are such happy flowers
We will now sing for hours
Aren't we unbearably cute?
Watch me solo on jazz flute
[flute solo]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[books sliding]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? [gasps]
[bat-books chittering]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Luna!
[crystals cracking]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelping]
Main cast: [gasps]
Spike: What happened? Are you guys okay?
Fluttershy: That... that was terrible! I-I never want to have that nightmare again!
Rainbow Dash: [shivers] Me either!
Spike: But Luna caught it, didn't she?
Princess Luna: I am so sorry, my friends. I failed. It will be back to infect your dreams the next time you sleep.
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
Applejack: Yeah. I reckon I could live without seeing that thing ever again.
Princess Luna: But you will. Again and again, every night, until it grows powerful enough to infect the waking world! After what I did as Nightmare Moon, the fact that I am once again responsible for harming others is more than I can bear.
Pinkie Pie: It'll be okay! Everypony makes mistakes!
Princess Luna: As long as none of you dreamt about another pony, the Tantabus remains confined to your dreams. I still have a chance to catch it before it's too late.
Pinkie Pie: Phew, that's good to hear! Although after you left, I did happen to dream that I was eating a giant ice-cream cone with all of Ponyville while taking a test we hadn't studied for. See, what'd I tell ya? Everypony makes mistakes!
Twilight Sparkle: But that means the Tantabus could be turning every dream in Ponyville into a nightmare!
Princess Luna: It is far worse than that. Infecting all those dreams gives it more and more power. Soon it will be able to escape into the real world and infect Equestria with its nightmare plague!
Rarity: Then you must let us help you stop it before that happens!
Fluttershy: But how? The Tantabus was able to escape Luna when it only had six dreams it could get to!
Princess Luna: It is true. With so many dreams to hide in, I do not know how I can catch it.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... What if everypony in Ponyville were having one dream?
Princess Luna: I... can create shared dreams, yes, but for so many ponies at once? I have never done anything like that. The amount of power it would take...
Fluttershy: Well, it is worth a try, isn't it?
Princess Luna: Of course. I will do anything to end this, including accept your help. I cannot allow the Tantabus to escape into the real world. All of you must now go back to sleep and hope that I can create such a dream.
Spike: [snoring]
[magic zaps]
[flying muffin squawks]
Derpy: [meow]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Princess Luna did it!
Applejack: [shivers] Big Mac! Boy, I'm glad to see somethin' familiar!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Princess Luna: Ponies!
Ponies: Princess Luna!
Princess Luna: There is no time for bowing, my friends! There is something coming, something terrible! No, it is already here!
[Tantabus growling]
[ponies screaming]
Princess Luna: I am so sorry! I brought this upon you! But I will end it now!
[Tantabus noises]
[ponies screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess, what's wrong?
Princess Luna: [grunts] It... is taking all my strength just to hold this massive dream together! You will have to stop it! I truly wish I did not have to ask this of you!
Twilight Sparkle: Then you're in luck.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! We're already on it!
[house roaring]
Filthy Rich: [yelping] Please! I'll pay you anything!
[house roars]
Rainbow Dash: [kiai]
[kick]
Rainbow Dash: I got you!
[ponies screaming]
[magic zap]
Mane Moon: [straining]
[chomp!]
[house howling]
Applejack: Oh, no!
[flying muffin clucks]
Applejack: Big Mac! You can do anythin' in a dream, remember?
[magic shimmering]
Big McIntosh: Wheeeeee! [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! If that Tantabus thing turns any more of this dream against us, we'll be too busy saving ponies to catch it! And it'll grow powerful enough to escape into the real world!
[flying muffin clucks]
Applejack: How are we even gonna know when it's able to escape?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I think we'll know.
[magic zaps]
[Tantabus growling]
Princess Luna: [straining] Hurry, my friends!
[zap]
Rainbow Dash: What the?!
Fluttershy: Please, we need your help too!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy's right! We've all got to work together to stop it from escaping!
Mr. Cake: But how can we help? Nopony in Ponyville has your magic or your speed!
Rainbow Dash: That's true... in Ponyville!
Applejack: But this here isn't Ponyville! It's a dream!
[flying muffins squawking]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Twilight Sparkle: And not just any! This is your dream! Anything you can do in your dreams, you can do now!
Spike: [clicks fingers] Well, if you're gonna dream, might as well dream big, right? Hi-yah!
Derpy: Whoo!
[ponies cheering]
[shwing]
[bits clinking]
[wings flapping]
[wind noises]
Rainbow Dash: It's working!
Twilight Sparkle: But it's not enough!
[Tantabus roaring]
Pinkie Pie: Then do more! This is a dream, remember?
[book bats chittering]
[thumping]
Princess Luna: [straining] I cannot hold this dream together much longer! Equestria will fall because of me!
[Tantabus roaring]
Spike: Am I crazy, or did it just get even bigger after Luna said that?
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's feeding off your guilt, Princess Luna!
Princess Luna: If that is so, then perhaps that is how it grew strong enough to escape in the first place!
Applejack: Say what now?!
Princess Luna: I created the Tantabus to give myself the same nightmare every night... [pants] ...to punish myself for the evil I caused as Nightmare Moon!
Fluttershy: But why would you do that?!
Princess Luna: To make sure I never forgave myself for how much Equestria suffered because of me! But it seems I have not learned my lesson, for now I have only made you suffer more!
Twilight Sparkle: But that means you might just be the key to stopping all this!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! If it gets strong because you feel bad about what you did as Nightmare Moon, then you just gotta stop feeling bad for what you did!
Princess Luna: How can I forgive myself? I am no better now than I was then. My creation is about to turn the world into a living nightmare!
Twilight Sparkle: But look at what you're doing! Nightmare Moon would've wanted the Tantabus to turn Equestria into a nightmare! You're doing everything you can to stop it! Don't you see? That proves you're not the same pony you were then! Everypony who knows you knows that Nightmare Moon is in the past! We all trust you, Luna! Do you trust us enough to believe we're right?
[Tantabus growling]
Princess Luna: ...I do!
[Tantabus noises]
[ding!]
Princess Luna: Thank you. Thank you all.
[rooster crowing]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Luna did it!
Rainbow Dash: [yawns]
Applejack: She sure did! Only... I'm not exactly sure what she did.
Twilight Sparkle: Luna created the Tantabus to punish herself! The worse she felt, the more power it had! But once she finally forgave herself for what Nightmare Moon did...
Spike: Poof!
Fluttershy: Shh!
Spike: Huh. Wonder what she's dreaming about now.
[credits]

Canterlot Boutique

[thonk]
[tick]
Rarity: [sighs]
[sewing machine whirring]
Rarity: [humming]
[bell ringing]
Rarity: [gasps] Was that the Pony Post?!
Opalescence: [mewls]
Rarity: Oh, it's just you, Opal.
Opalescence: [mewls]
Rarity: Ohhh... Every other day he's here like clockwork! Not today! What could possibly be holding him up?!
[thonk]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Strawberry cinnamon cilantro salutations!
Rarity: What?
Pinkie Pie: What indeed. I bet you're wondering what warrants such a welcome! Well, that welcome is warranted by a pony that whisked up a warm batch of strawberry cinnamon cilantro cupcakes!
[thonk]
Pinkie Pie: [chomp] That strangely sickening flavor combination sounds just as bad as it tastes. [gulps] Ugh. So I came here to offer you some!
Rarity: After that visually descriptive and disturbing endorsement, I'll pass.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I almost forgot! I have this letter for you, Rarity! The post pony was going to deliver it, but after a strawberry cinnamon cilantro cupcake, he was feeling kinda queasy. And since I was heading over anyway, I figured I could do it for him! Here you go!
Rarity: [gasps]
[paper ripping]
Rarity: [inaudible reading]
Pinkie Pie: [chews]
Rarity: [loud gasp]
Pinkie Pie: [with mouth full] What's it say?
Rarity: I got it!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Got what?
Rarity: Oh, I have been holding out for the perfect location, and it finally became available! So now I can fulfill my dream of opening a boutique in Canterlot!
Pinkie Pie: Whoo! I'm so excited, I think I'm gonna lose my cupcakes! [hurk]
[theme song]
[train brakes hissing]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity's such a savvy businesspony. I'm so impressed she used the huge bonus she earned making the costumes for Sapphire Shores' Equestria-wide tour to open this second boutique!
Main cast sans Rarity: [various exclamations of awe]
Rarity: I take it from your reaction that you like the boutique?
Fluttershy: It's lovely.
Applejack: Gosh, Rarity. I know hard work when I see it, and it looks like you worked your hooves to the nub!
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. Those hooves don't look nubby. They look scrubbied and buffied and pedied!
Rarity: Well, despite my 'nubby scrubby buffy pony pedi, I actually have been working very hard! However, I never could have gotten the boutique ready for the grand opening without the help of my new manager Sassy Saddles!
Sassy Saddles: Bust my buttons, Rarity! The ponies from Ponyville!
Main cast sans Rarity: [various greetings]
Rarity: I knew I needed a manager for Canterlot Carousel, so when Sassy showed me her resumé and I saw that she worked in all of the finest boutiques in Canterlot, I hired her right on the spot!
Sassy Saddles: I then laid out this plan, or "pattern" as we say in the fashion biz, for Canterlot Carousel so that Rarity's boutique will be a guaranteed success and those doors will never, ever, ever close!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Sassy. Your attention to detail is truly impressive.
Sassy Saddles: I've already put a pin in the first piece of the pattern – Beautify the Boutique! But next was the very crucial pattern piece – Marketing to the Mares! Turns out that everypony here loves royalty!
Rarity: So I created a collection that beautifully revolves around the royal element of Canterlot!
Sassy Saddles: And it just so happens there's a hot new princess in Equestria!
Rarity: [to Twilight] In every poll Sassy Saddles took, you were the most popular princess! Coincidentally, one of my gowns is inspired by the window in Canterlot Castle commemorating your coronation!
[curtains unfurling]
Main cast sans Rarity: [various exclamations of awe]
Rarity: While I've always prided myself on paying attention to detail, I've taken my latest collection to a whole new level with "Rarity's Rules of TLC"!
Pinkie Pie: Judging by this baby, TLC stands for Tasty Liquorice Candy!
[thump]
Rarity: TLC stands for 'Time, Love, and Couture'. And while I do agree that this dress has potential, I've not had enough time to give it enough love to become couture.
[door shuts]
Rarity: But the rest of the gowns in tonight's line have met Rarity's Rules and are ready to be presented!
Sassy Saddles: My marketing research also confirmed that customers that viewed somepony famous wearing a gown wish to own that gown for themselves. I call this piece of the pattern Celebrity Status!
Rarity: So, Twilight, we were wondering if perhaps you might possibly wear this tonight?
Twilight Sparkle: If being a princess and wearing that dress can help your boutique in any way, then I say stick a pin in it. It's done.
Sassy Saddles: Alright, everypony! Let's set the stage!
Rarity: Ever since I was a little filly, all I've ever wanted was to own a boutique here in Canterlot. Somepony pinch me! I'm about to open the doors to that very boutique!
[door opens]
Sassy Saddles: Welcome to the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel!
[crowd cheers]
Sassy Saddles: Oh, hello! Oh, nice to see you! Welcome, welcome! Oh, I'm so happy to... [fades out]
Applejack: That Sassy totally stepped on your hooves, Rarity.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! Did she mess up that nice pony pedi?! [sighs] Okay. Phew!
Rarity: Oh, I don't think she meant to.
Sassy Saddles: Rarity, are you ready to reveal the collection?
Applejack: [under her breath] Is she sure she doesn't wanna do it herself?
Rainbow Dash: [snorts] [under her breath] Yeah.
Rarity: Yes, I am. Fluttershy, could you help Twilight get ready?
Fluttershy: Oh, certainly.
[customers chattering]
Rarity: Fillies and gentlecolts! I am designer and couturier Rarity, I'd like to welcome you – again [laughs nervously] – to the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel, and I'm thrilled that you are here to see my newest collection inspired by this regal city!
[crowd oohs]
[camera clicking]
[BGM starts]
Fashion Plate: Rarity, I'm—
Rarity: Fashion Plate of Cosmare magazine! I'm so honored that Cosmare was able to do a piece on the grand opening of my boutique!
Fashion Plate: Well, when Sassy Saddles calls, saying she's found the latest and greatest in fashion, we hightail without fail! Now tell me all about your latest collection!
Rarity: Oh, uh, it's called "Rarity's Royal Regalia".
Fashion Plate: [gasps] Royally radiant!
Rarity: My favorite part of being a designer is finding my inspiration, and that really wasn't difficult when it came to Canterlot. Everywhere I looked, the royal city just spoke to me! I call it "In-spire-ation".
[crowd oohs]
Fashion Plate: Genius! Simply genius!
Rarity: I spent hours by the lily pond on the castle grounds, which inspired this gown – "Water Filly"!
[crowd oohs]
Fashion Plate: Oh, the whimsy!
Rarity: Watching Celestia raise the sun each morning literally lit up my day... [beat] This is "Tripping the Light".
[crowd oohs]
Fashion Plate: Fantastic!
Rarity: [giggles] And of course, Luna raising the moon guided me to sleep. I call this "Over the Moon"!
[crowd oohs]
Fashion Plate: Well, I certainly am!
Rarity: And for our finale, I have something very special. I was inspired by the stained glass window created in honor of Princess Twilight... I call this "The Reign in Stain"!
Fashion Plate: Because the dress is inspired by the—
Fashion Plate and Rarity: —stained glass window of a reigning princess!
Rarity: Yes!
Sassy Saddles: Oh, well, I think "The Reign in Stain" is too difficult to explain! [short laugh] Especially for the signature piece of a collection?
Rarity: But I rather like the—
Sassy Saddles: Fillies and gentlecolts, I, Sassy Saddles, am pleased to introduce the grand finale of the grand opening of Rarity's Royal Regalia – the "Princess Dress"!
Fashion Plate: [gasps] Success!
[crowd oohing and chattering]
Sassy Saddles: Everypony, please follow me and you can all place your orders for the Princess Dress!
[crowd chattering]
Fashion Plate: Rarity, I want to be the first pony to congratulate you! The Princess Dress has just guaranteed Canterlot Carousel's success! [gasps]
[crowd chattering]
Main cast sans Rarity and Twilight: [various congratulations]
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Rarity's Royal Regalia is amazing! And everypony seemed to love the Princess Dress!
Sassy Saddles: You bet your saddle they did. Rarity now has one hundred orders for her signature gown!
Rarity: [stammers] One hundred orders?! All at one time?!
Sassy Saddles: According to my pattern, the next piece is The Success of the Signature Dress, so I do not see the problem!
[beat]
Applejack: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: Cupcake?
Rarity: [clears throat] First of all, Sassy Saddles, I would have appreciated getting to name the final gown from my collection myself.
Sassy Saddles: [short laugh] My research shows that your "Reign in Stain" name was a play on words that was both very confusing and quite unappealing.
Rarity: [disgruntled laugh] While I see your point, we should have discussed it prior to the grand opening, Sassy.
Sassy Saddles: My only goal is for Canterlot Carousel to succeed. That's why I changed the name, and that is why I took all those orders for the Princess Dress.
Rarity: [stammering] But... But receiving orders for one hundred dresses in one day, [stammering] it's just too much too soon!
Sassy Saddles: Are you actually saying we should... cancel these orders?!
Rarity: Wha... But... [stammering] Uh, n-no, Sassy. Promises were made, and I shall sew my very best to provide each and every pony a Princess Dress full of TLC.
Sassy Saddles: Oh, thank you, Rarity, thank you!
Rarity: [sighs]
Sassy Saddles: Oh, satin and silk, Rarity, are you sure you don't want your friends to help you make the dresses?
Rarity: No, Sassy. These orders are my responsibility. All I have to do is stick to my plan so I can deliver each and every Princess Dress in keeping with my Rules of Rarity!
[Rarity]
The rules of Rarity, guaranteed quality
This I can assure
For each and every dress
I vow to give finesse
With time, love, and couture
My favorite moment's when a pony sees it
That special gown that she just adores
That pony's now in style
My hard work's all worthwhile
Oh, yes, it makes my heart
My heart just soar
[instrumental]
[Rarity]
The rules of Rarity, just a parody
No dress here's unique
The panels all the same
Each colored windowpane
I fashion only makes me want to shriek!
[sighs]
Oh, to create would give me elation
To feel once again some inspiration
Come on now, Rarity
Give me some clarity
Time for your couture love to rule
The rules of Rarity, extra TLC
This feels more sublime
Soon now, they will see how good these can be
With a little extra shine
The rules of Rarity, guaranteed quality
All can see it's true
These new gems add such flair
Their beauty can't compare
This old style suddenly gleams anew
[humming]
[door opens]
[bell rings]
Rarity: Is that the customer who ordered this Princess Dress?
Sassy Saddles: I'll take care of her. You keep working.
Rarity: Uh, actually, I'd love to see her reaction to this particular dress.
Sassy Saddles: Paisley and poplin, Rarity, look at all the orders you still have to finish, and you want to take a break? Now?
Rarity: Well, it's just I made some really lovely changes to this dress—
Sassy Saddles: You did what?! But every Princess Dress is supposed to be exactly the same!
Rarity: Yes yes I know, but these gems just spoke to me, and—
Sassy Saddles: Fine. Go see her reaction.
Rarity: Hello, and welcome to Canterlot Carousel! I am so pleased to present to you your—
"Cayenne": Princess Dress! Finally! I've been simply desperate to get this ever since I saw Princess Twilight wearing it on your— ...Wait a minute. There's something different.
Rarity: Well as an artiste, I did take the liberty to change a few minor details.
[beat]
Rarity: I, eheh, I saw these gems glistening in the light, and they just spoke to me. Aren't they lovely? And so unique!
"Cayenne": [sigh] They're... fine. But they're not what I ordered, are they?
Rarity: Uh, no. No, they're not.
"Cayenne": I want the dress to be exactly like the one Princess Twilight wore. Understand?
Rarity: Yes... Y-Yes, of course.
[Rarity]
The rules of Rarity
Once stood for something
But now it feels just like some factory
Now every dress I make
With every flaw and mistake
Oh, how it makes my heart
My heart just break
[sewing machine whirring]
Sassy Saddles: Raving rick-rack, Rarity! You made two hundred Princess Dresses!
Rarity: [deadpan] Yes. Isn't it spectacular?
Sassy Saddles: And I have a special surprise for you! The latest issue of Cosmare magazine just hit the stands!
Rarity: [reading] "Canterlot's newest rising star"?
Sassy Saddles: And in the hour since the magazine's come out, we've gotten another hundred new orders for the Princess Dress!
[thud]
Rarity: [weakly] One... hundred more... Princess Dresses?! I'm the Cosmare cover pony... I have the most successful shop in Canterlot... I've gotten everything I ever wanted... but I'm miserable!
Sassy Saddles: [short laugh] How could you possibly be miserable? My pattern is perfect! Cosmare Cover Pony – done! You have your signature gown, the Princess Dress of Success!
Rarity: I don't want to make another hundred Princess Dresses!
Sassy Saddles: I have a piece for that! Assemble the Assembly Line! You'll never have to sew again!
Rarity: What?! No!
Sassy Saddles: Yes! Then the Canterlot Carousel never closes! And Sassy Saddles' boutique succeeds!
Rarity: Stop! This is not your boutique! And if this is what success in Canterlot looks like, I want no part of it! Now, make up flyers for a going-out-of-business sale! I'm closing Canterlot Carousel!
Sassy Saddles: What?! No! Oh, you can't, Rarity! I-I've worked too hard to make this a success! I can't be a part of another failed boutique!
[door closes]
[magic noises]
[hooks clinking]
Rarity: [to a dress] Oh, don't you look lovely? Nice to see you out here again. [to herself, hushed] Seems Sassy Saddles isn't rushing to open the door this time. Hm.
[door opens]
Rarity: Welcome to the going-out-of-business sale of Canterlot Carousel.
[ponies chattering]
Pretzel: Hey, is this Princess Dress on sale?
Rarity: Oh, no, I'm sorry, the Princess Dress has been discontinued. But there are plenty of other lovely dresses on sale today.
"Moonlight Raven": [flatly] Whoa. This dress completely speaks to my soul. Can I try it on?
Rarity: Certainly. The dressing area is right back there.
"Sunshine Smiles": This is the most amazing of amazing dresses! Just looking at it brightens my day!
Rarity: And I'm sure you'll feel even brighter once you try it on!
"North Point": Do you still have this In-spire-ation dress that's in the new issue of Cosmare?
Rarity: Oh, yes, I do. It's-It's right here.
"North Point": Bats in the belfry! I have to try it on!
"Moonlight Raven": [flatly] Whoa. This dress makes me feel like a princess.
"Sunshine Smiles": And this dress makes me feel like a princess!
"Citrus Blush": This gown is quite beautiful, but it totally clashes with my complexion.
Rarity: Hmmm. Perhaps you'd be even more taken with this one. It was inspired by the fountain in the Canterlot Castle garden. I call it the "Fountain of Truth"!
"Citrus Blush": It's exactly what I've been dreaming of!
Rarity: Oh! Well, then I'll finish it, and the gown shall be yours! [to herself] How can I have forgotten? This is what I've been dreaming about!
[Rarity]
My favorite moment's when a pony sees it
That special gown that she just adores
That pony's now in style
My hard work's all worthwhile
Oh, yes, it makes my heart
My heart just soar!
Rarity: Attention, everypony! Canterlot Carousel will not be closing!
[crowd cheering]
"Moonlight Raven": [flatly] But this stuff's still on sale, right?
Rarity: [giggles] Yes, yes, of course.
Sassy Saddles: Oh, Rarity, I'm so sorry. I focused on that one dress, and the rest of Rarity's Royal Regalia paid the price.
Rarity: Well, so did the Princess Dress. The more I sold, the more each dress lost its time, love, and couture, becoming terrible, lackluster, and common.
Sassy Saddles: I think I finally understand the Rules of Rarity... and will apply them at my next job.
Rarity: I beg your pardon? The Rules of Rarity are only to be applied at Canterlot Carousel! Which is why you must continue to manage the boutique while I'm in Ponyville.
Sassy Saddles: Ponyville?
Rarity: Well, yes, I'll come to Canterlot with new designs and to see the customers of course, but Ponyville was always going to be my home base.
Sassy Saddles: [gasps] Bobbins and bodkins, Rarity! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! And I promise to run everything following your rules.
Rarity: I would expect nothing less.
"Whoa Nelly": Oh, my gosh, a sale! Do you have the Princess Dress?!
Rarity and Sassy Saddles: No! [laughing]
[credits]

Rarity Investigates!

Rarity: Oh, Sassy Saddles, don't you just love my new Femme Mystique Chic line of gowns?
Sassy Saddles: [gasps] Sequins and sashes, Rarity, they're exquisite! Where in Equestria did you find the inspiration?
Rarity: Oh, I modeled them after the adventures of Shadow Spade. Her stories are always full of mystery and suspense and, best of all... fabulous costumes!
Sassy Saddles: They're perfect! [beat] What are you doing?
Rarity: [humming] Oh, uh, just making some minor adjustments. [blows on dress] Shadow Spade believes it all comes down to attention to detail. And so do I. There! Now it's perfect.
[door slams open]
Rainbow Dash: Hey guys, how's it—
[crash]
Rarity and Sassy Saddles: [distressed squealing]
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laughing] My bad.
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Sorry I messed up your dress thingy.
Sassy Saddles: Nothing we can't fix in a stitch. What are you doing in Canterlot?
Rainbow Dash: I'm here for Princess Celestia's royal garden opening tomorrow.
Sassy Saddles: Oh, yes! Rumor has it the gardens are especially lush this season. I heard that the Wonderbolts will be kicking things off with an aerial display.
Rarity: You heard right. And Rainbow Dash is here to fly with them. So exciting!
Rainbow Dash: Well, kind of exciting. Technically, I'm not flying. I'm just the lucky Reserve who was called in to be the backup flyer in case a Wonderbolt can't perform.
Rarity: Oh, don't be so modest. Out of all the Reserves, you were the one chosen.
Rainbow Dash: It is pretty sweet. And I do get to stay in the castle, hang out with the Wonderbolts, and eat awesome food at the dinner tonight. Speaking of the dinner, you're still coming, right?
Rarity: Heavens, yes! A chance to dress up, be charming and show off my newest femme mystique couture? I wouldn't miss it for all of Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Great! See ya tonight!
[door closes]
[mannequins rattling]
[door slams open]
[crash]
Rarity: Ooh, the rhinestones I ordered! [beat] Oh, my. Oh, there's been a mistake... I ordered dragon-cut stones, and these are hoof-polished.
"Package Deal": I'm sorry, but I've got a full load of deliveries today. I'm not sure I have time to redo your order.
Rarity: Of course you don't. Your job is so difficult. Honestly, I don't know how you keep all of those orders straight.
"Package Deal": [chuckle] It is pretty tough, what with the boxes all being... box-shaped.
Rarity: Oh, y—oh yes, and I very much appreciate it. But if there was any way you could squeeze in one more little delivery, I would be eternally grateful.
"Package Deal": [laughs nervously] Well, for you, Rarity, I'll see what I can do.
[door closes]
Sassy Saddles: Rarity, you could sweet-talk a filly out of candy!
Rarity: Oh, [chuckles], it was nothing. Nopony minds a compliment. Now, you simply must help me pick out an outfit for tonight. Something from the new collection, of course.
[general background chatter]
Rainbow Dash: Let's grab some grub!
Rarity: [sniffs] Mm, is that Juniper Phoenix I smell?
Rainbow Dash: No, it's broccoli! [chewing]
Wind Rider: Yeah, Juniper Phoenix is one of my favorite stallion colognes.
Rarity: Oh, mine as well. It's masculine and yet—
[plate smashes]
Rarity: —soft with the barest hint of floral notes and—
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] Rarity! Don't you know who this is?!
Rarity: A gentlepony with fabulous taste in colognes and scarves?
Rainbow Dash: It's Wind Rider!
Rarity: Oh! So nice to meet you!
Rainbow Dash: You didn't let me finish! He's a living legend. He holds the Wonderbolt record in the Mustang Marathon!
Wind Rider: Well, that was a long time ago. Honestly, I can't believe I still hold the record.
Spitfire: Wind Rider, I see you met Rainbow Dash! She's one of our most promising Reserves. She just might beat your record.
Wind Rider: Really now?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, heh, I'm nowhere near as good as you. I mean, I'm fast, but I don't have the endurance to go long distances.
Spitfire: Ah, don't be modest. A little practice and you'll be beating records in no time.
Wind Rider: Heh-heh. Well, it's nice to meet you fillies.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Not as nice as it is to meet you, sir. [barely-contained laughter] I can't believe I just met Wind Rider!
Misty Fly: Yeah, he's coming out of retirement to take the spot of honor in the center of our aerial flower formation tomorrow.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Really? That's incredible! Guess I'll just watch Wind Rider being awesome from the sidelines... practice tomorrow is gonna be so boring.
Rarity: I don't suppose I could keep you company?
Rainbow Dash: You could! They always let friends and family come watch practices!
[splash]
Rarity: Mm, ooh!
Rainbow Dash: Oops. Heh, sorry about that. Lemme help you clean that up. [hocks and spits]
Rarity: Uh, no-no, it's almost impossible to get stains out of silk. But not to worry. I've come prepared!
Rarity: That dinner was absolutely divine. Thanks for inviting me! Ooh, you're staying in the east tower? Those rooms have the best view of Canterlot!
Spitfire: How lucky are we? Well, we better get some shuteye before practice.
[door shuts]
Rainbow Dash: See you tomorrow, Rarity!
Rarity: Good night!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Thanks for keeping me company, Rarity. If you weren't here, well, I don't know who I'd be talking to right now.
[splat]
Soarin: Eh, you'd be talkin' to me. Rainbow Dash, Spitfire's mom sent a message that she was sick. She had to leave to take care of her.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Oh, no! I hope her mom's okay!
Soarin: Me too. In the meantime, we need you to fly in her place.
Rainbow Dash: L-Like, in the actual show?
Soarin: Unless Spitfire comes back, yes.
Rainbow Dash: I won't let you down, Soarin! [squeals] This is the best thing ever! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! [sing-song] I'm gonna get to fly with Wind Rider and the Wonderbolts, 'cause I'm the bestest and I'm awesome and they know it! [continues under] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh...
Soarin: Uh... Rainbow Dash?
Rarity: [hushed] Shh! Let her have this, darling.
Rarity: Hello there! Friend or family?
Stormy Flare: Family. My daughter's a Wonderbolt, but I don't see her up there. Do you know Spitfire?
Rarity: Ooh, you're Spitfire's mum? But I thought you were sick.
Stormy Flare: What?
Rarity: Well, Spitfire got a note from you saying you weren't feeling well, and she went home to take care of you.
Stormy Flare: I didn't send a note.
Rarity: That's so strange.
Soarin: Stormy Flare? Aren't you supposed to be sick? 'Kay, what's happening?
Stormy Flare: I don't know. But I do know I didn't send my daughter a note.
Rarity: Could somepony have sent Spitfire a fake note?
Misty Fly: Who would do such a thing?
Soarin: Somepony who wanted her out of the show, I suppose.
Rainbow Dash: Why would anypony want that?
Wind Rider: Maybe so they could take her spot.
Rainbow Dash: Me?! I would never do that to Spitfire! Why would you think it was me?
Blaze: I did see you and Spitfire leave the dinner together.
Rainbow Dash: We were room neighbors in the castle!
Misty Fly: And you did say you'd do anything to fly with Wind Rider.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but I didn't mean anything.
Soarin: Spitfire came by my room and told me she had to go see her mom at around midnight. Where were you then?
Rainbow Dash: I was asleep at midnight... having this totally amazing dream. There I was at the arena flying with Wind Rider and the Wonderbolts, like I've always wanted to—
[camera flashes]
Rainbow Dash: —ah, eh, never mind. Not helping.
[Wonderbolts whispering]
Soarin: Rainbow Dash, if you can prove that somepony else is behind Spitfire's disappearance before the start of the show, then you can still fly with us. In the meantime, Misty Fly, Blaze, head over to Stormy Flare's house and try to find Spitfire and bring her back. [to Rainbow Dash] I have to warn you, if you sent that letter, the bylaws are clear. I'd have no choice but to ban you from the Wonderbolts forever. Understand?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I understand. But how am I gonna prove I didn't send a letter that I didn't send?
Rarity: With me! Detective Rarity is on the case, and we are going to get to the bottom of this faster than my costume change!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, what's with the getup?
Rarity: Obviously, I am channeling Shadow Spade through these gorgeous garments, and she would say that the best way to prove that you didn't send the letter is to find out whoever did. First stop – the scene of the crime!
[noir music plays]
Rarity: [narrating] We had a long road ahead of us, Rainbow Dash and I. Well, not too long because we didn't have much time, but the point is... I was up for the challenge.
[drawers opening and closing]
Rarity: [narrating] There I was, surveying the crime scene, and looking très chic while doing it. [normally] This must be the envelope for the letter Spitfire got! [sniffs] Hmm. These look like hairs from a rainbow mane!
Rainbow Dash: [gulps] That's not good.
Rarity: [narrating] Rainbow Dash was getting antsy, but I had faith I could clear her name and find the real culprit.
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing?
Rarity: [stammers] Uh, just thinking thoughts. [narrating] Rainbow Dash was right. In order to solve the mystery, we had to be focused. Driven. One hundred percent in the— [normally] Ooh! The damask pattern on these curtains is exquisite! Oh, and this velvet rope-holder – oh, it's just—
Rainbow Dash: We don't have time to look at the décor! They're gonna kick me out of the Wonderbolts unless we solve this thing!
Rarity: I know, Rainbow, and I'm on this case like a charm on a bracelet! Here's what I'm thinking: somepony had to bring Spitfire that letter, which means somepony must have seen them!
Rarity: I just have a few questions for you, and I'm sure once we get some things cleared up, we'll—
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Rarity, we don't have all day! [to a guard] Where were you on the night of last night at midnight?!
Castle Guard 1: We were here, guarding the hallway entrance like we were supposed to.
Rainbow Dash: A likely story.
Castle Guard 1: I'm telling you, we were there all night, and no one went in or out of that hallway.
Spearhead: Except for you.
Rainbow Dash: What are you tryin' to say?!
Spearhead: Just that there are only two rooms in the northwest wing: yours and Spitfire's. So the only other pony who had access to that wing was you.
Rarity: [narrating] The waters were getting choppy. Rainbow Dash's tactics were, well, horrid. It was time for another approach. [normally] Perhaps I should take it from here! You castle guards have such a difficult job. I'm guessing that at times it can be rather... boring.
Castle Guard 1: It is. I've counted all three hundred and forty five bolts in the ceiling tiles two hundred and ninety three times!
Rarity: And of course being a castle guard can be thankless work. I'm not saying you did, but if you took a break, you more than deserved it.
Castle Guard 1: Oh, you're right. We don't get a lot of recognition for what we do.
Spearhead: Except for last night when somepony was nice enough to leave a cake for us. So we did take one little break when we ate that cake.
Rarity: What kind of cake was it?
Spearhead: Cherry with a custard filling.
Rarity: Was the frosting vanilla or chocolate?
Castle Guard 1: Chocolate.
Rarity: Was the base of the cake decorated with buttercream rosettes?
Castle Guard 1: It was.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, who cares how it was decorated?!
Rarity: [narrating] Rainbow Dash was questioning my methods. But I knew what I was doing.
Rainbow Dash: Do you?
Rarity: Oh, oh, oh. Did I say that one out loud?
Rainbow Dash: I mean, even I think I'm guilty at this point! I really did want to fly in that show! What if I wrote that note when I was asleep?! Do you know what I do when I sleep?! Because I sure don't!
Rarity: Oh, calm down, Rainbow Dash. We'll get to the bottom of this. There's only one bakery in Canterlot that makes a chocolate cherry cake with custard filling and buttercream frosting rosettes and that's...
Rarity: ...Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop!
Cinnamon Chai: Hello, how can I help you?
Rarity: I've heard you have the best chocolate cherry custard cake with buttercream frosting rosettes in town!
Cinnamon Chai: Ah, you travel in the right circles! We have the only chocolate cherry custard cake with buttercream frosting rosettes in town!
Rarity: Oh, no. But somepony's already bought it! Who was the lucky pony?
Cinnamon Chai: [beat] I can't even say!
Rarity: Why? Because it was somepony famous?
Cinnamon Chai: No... because it was hard to tell! She was wearing a trench coat, sunglasses, and a scarf around her head that covered most of her face. But I do remember she had a really deep, raspy voice.
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean, raspy?
Cinnamon Chai: Well, kinda like yours.
Rainbow Dash: [gulps]
Rarity: If there's anything else you can remember, dish.
Cinnamon Chai: Well, have I got a story for you! The pony who bought the cake threw a big fit when she accidentally got chocolate ganache on her scarf!
Rarity: That's terrible! What color was the scarf?
Cinnamon Chai: White! No, maybe more an ivory...
Rarity: You don't say!
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe you're talking fashion at a time like this!
Rarity: Rainbow, don't panic. I need you to trust me.
Rainbow Dash: Trust you?! You've spent more time changing clothes than trying to help me! I'm doomed!
Rarity: No, you're not! Come on!
Rarity: [narrating] Rainbow Dash was obviously upset, but I had all my ducks in a row. Except one.
[duck quacks]
Rarity: [narrating] She was not going to like it, but there was only one way to find out if my suspicions were correct.
[rain pouring]
[door opens]
Blaze: We looked everywhere, but Spitfire wasn't at her mom's house!
Stormy Flare: Where could she be?
[door opens]
[lightning cracks]
Rarity: I have found the culprit!
Soarin: [gulps]
Rarity: Somepony sent Spitfire away and framed Rainbow Dash for it. And that pony was none other than... Wind Rider!
[lightning cracks]
[Wonderbolts expressing surprise]
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, I can't believe you would accuse Wind Rider of framing me! He's a living legend, for pony's sake!
Rarity: All the evidence points to him!
Rainbow Dash: Peh! What evidence could you possibly have? All you did was ask about cake, admire décor, and change outfits a gazillion times!
Rarity: Let me explain. I never believed you would send Spitfire away. When we found the rainbow hairs in Spitfire's room, I could tell they didn't fall out. They... were cut! Nopony loses hair in a chunk. And look at the ends. It's a straight line! They were clearly cut with shears, which means somepony planted it! Then when we were examining Spitfire's room, I smelled something on the envelope. Juniper Phoenix, Wind Rider's cologne of choice! Then, in the castle hallway, I noticed some of the damask curtains fell out of their velvet rope-holder, indicating that somepony had been hiding behind them! Perhaps after they dropped off the fake letter?
Wind Rider: Juniper Phoenix is a very popular fragrance, and anypony could have moved those curtains.
Rarity: Precisely why I questioned the castle guards! They were at their post at the entrance to the hallway all night, except for a small window of time when somepony brought them cake. A cake that was ordered by a girl pony with a raspy voice! Whoever ordered the cake got a chocolate stain on her ivory scarf, and I couldn't help but notice that Wind Rider's scarf is tied in a tight Windsor knot instead of its usual loose slipknot! And why is that? Is it to hide the chocolate stain?!
[Wonderbolts gasping]
Wind Rider: Ah, this is preposterous. Wonderbolts, you don't believe a word of this, right?
Rarity: Just admit it – you're as guilty of framing Rainbow Dash as you are of ruining that ivory scarf!
Wind Rider: Ah, fine! You caught me! I did it!
Rainbow Dash: But why, Wind Rider?! Was it because I took the last broccoli at the dinner and you really, really wanted it?
Rarity: No. It was because he was afraid that you would break his long-distance Wonderbolt record! I heard him when Spitfire said you were close to breaking his record. He said, and I quote, 'Heh-heh'. That's the polite but disingenuous laugh you make when you want to seem happy but really you're not.
Wind Rider: I thought if I could get Rainbow Dash kicked out of the Wonderbolts forever, my record could be preserved.
Rainbow Dash: Really? That is so not cool. And I thought you were the coolest Wonderbolt ever. Until now.
Wind Rider: I did what I had to do to protect my record! Sometimes you gotta play dirty to be the best!
Rainbow Dash: That's not what being a Wonderbolt is all about.
Soarin: She's right! Wonderbolts look out for each other! Which reminds me, where is Spitfire?
Wind Rider: I sent her the letter pretending to be Stormy Flare. I told her I had Pegasitis, and the only cure is the ice iris in the Crystal Mountains.
Rainbow Dash: No wonder she's been gone so long. Ice irises are almost impossible to find in spring!
Soarin: The Crystal Mountains are too far for anypony to make it there and back before the royal garden opening! Rainbow Dash, we need you to fly in Spitfire's place!
Rainbow Dash: But Spitfire shouldn't have to miss this! I'm gonna get her!
Soarin: But you'll never make it in time!
Rainbow Dash: Then there's no time to lose!
Blaze: Rainbow Dash is still gone!
Rarity: Oh, don't panic. If I know Rainbow Dash, she'll come through.
[door opens]
Spitfire: [panting]
Soarin: Spitfire, you're back! I can't believe you made it!
Spitfire: [out of breath] I wouldn't have, if Rainbow hadn't found me so fast! Gave me enough time to fly back!
Rainbow Dash: Rare, I couldn't have done it without you. And I'm sorry I doubted you. But why didn't you tell me what you were doing?
Rarity: Well, I didn't want to get your hopes up until I was sure, and I couldn't be sure until I saw that chocolate stain.
Rainbow Dash: Thank you for believing in me, even when I was doubting you. I'm some friend, huh?
Rarity: Actually, you're quite a good friend. You went to get Spitfire, even though it meant you couldn't fly today.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I'll get my chance one day.
Spitfire: Or today. How'd you like Wind Rider's spot in the show?
Wind Rider: Uh, w-w-what? Y-You can't do this to me! I'm one of the greatest Wonderbolts there ever was!
Spitfire: Not anymore. For attempting to frame Rainbow Dash, I hereby strip you of your Wonderbolts status!
Soarin: [to Rainbow Dash] So, would you like to fly with us?
Rainbow Dash: Would I?! Woo-hoo! Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, aww yeah...
Soarin: Uh, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [embarrassed noise] Coming!
Rarity: [narrating] So my friend got her moment in the sun. Or the center of an aerial flower, as the case may be. And as for me? I got a chance to show off my Femme Mystique Chic collection!
Stormy Flare: That's nice, dear.
Rarity: Oh, did I say that out loud?
[noir music plays over credits]

Made in Manehattan

Twilight Sparkle: Ehh... [blows raspberry] [sighs heavily, groans, sighs again] I'm bored.
Spike: But you're reading.
Twilight Sparkle: I've read all these books already.
Spike: And...?
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm bored! I wanna do something! Things have been so slow around here and I just—
Rarity: Twilight! Twilight! Ooh, Twilight, darling! Oh, thank goodness! It seems that my—
Applejack: [panting] Whew! Got here as fast I—
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Yes! Finally! We've been summoned! I wonder where the map wants us to—
Spike: Uh, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[theme song]
Applejack: Where do you think—
Rarity: [excited squeals] Manehattan! We've been called to Manehattan! Oh, I've simply been dying to go back for a visit! And now I return... with a purpose!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. It looks like you've been summoned to this particular neighborhood here.
Rarity: We're off to solve a friendship problem in one of the busiest and most vibrant cities in all of Equestria! Isn't this exciting?! [squeals]
Applejack: Seems a hair odd, though, don't it? Map callin' me to a big city like Manehattan?
Twilight Sparkle: You may be more of a country pony at heart, Applejack, but the map picked you two because you're the best ponies to tackle this particular mission.
Applejack: But how will we even know what our mission's supposed to be? That neighborhood probably has twice as many ponies as all of Ponyville.
Rarity: Pff. Kch. Ts! More like three times! Why, it's not only home to the Haypacking District – it's also home to the Fashion District! [to Twilight] Hmm. Shame you weren't called as well, though, darling. You did end up quite a fan of the hustle and bustle of Manehattan on our last visit.
Twilight Sparkle: It's such an exciting city, and there's still so much I'd like to do there. So many museums and historical landmarks to visit. Not to mention all the libraries! But this is your mission. Heh-heh. Don't worry about me. I've got plenty of... books... to keep me... busy.
Spike: [scoffs]
Rarity and Applejack: Mm-hmm.
Rarity: [gasps] I just remembered something! The Sisterhooves Social!
Applejack: We'll have to miss it. No tellin' how long we'll be in Manehattan. I sure hope Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle aren't too upset.
[train chugging]
[city noises]
Rarity: Oh, Manehattan, what you do to me!
Applejack: [gulps]
Rarity: Darling, are you all right?
Applejack: Ponies move so fast here. Not at all like back home. [to herself] Eyes peeled, ears open. Eyes peeled, ears open.
"Rivet": [blows police whistle]
Rarity: Remember, Applejack, you're in the big city now. No moseying. You've gotta walk with speed and confidence!
"Rivet": [blows police whistle]
Rarity: Yoo-hoo!
Applejack: [snorts]
Diamond Cutter: Move it!
Applejack: Sorry 'bout that.
Strawberry Ice: Ah, get outta my way!
Applejack: Sorry.
Pedestrian Ponies 3 & 4: Watch it!
Applejack: Hey— Oh, dear. Butter my biscuits. I can barely cross the street in this town. How am I supposed to help solve a—
Rarity: [gasps] There!
"Pearmain Worcester": Yes, I think this is the one.
Rarity: No! No.
"Pearmain Worcester": Excuse me?
Rarity: That hat clashes with your mane, not to mention it's far too large and will undoubtedly obstruct your vision. Oh, dear, none of these will do. Oh, Applejack! What good timing!
[bonk]
Rarity: [humming] Here. This will do splendidly.
"Pearmain Worcester": Oh, it's lovely! How much would you like for it?
Rarity: Oh, no-no, please, please, keep it. I can always make another.
"Pearmain Worcester": Thank you!
Rarity: [to Applejack] And you thought we wouldn't discover our purpose here! Pff. Kch. Ts!
Applejack: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that wasn't it.
Rarity: What? We just saved that poor pony from committing a terrible crime of fashion.
[beat]
Rarity: Well, she could've been meeting a friend who would've laughed at her new hat, and then their friendship could've been ruined forever! And... mmm... it's possible.
Applejack: Did your cutie mark glow signifyin' a job well done?
Rarity: Ye— No. I suppose it didn't. Still, a disaster was averted!
Stinky Bottom: Averted? You just lost me a paying customer!
Rarity: Oh, my! Oh, I-I-I-I-I'm s-so sorry. I never meant to—
Stinky Bottom: Beat it!
Rarity: Uh, please accept my sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding, and might I add, what a lovely establishment you have here! [nervous laugh] [clears throat] You're right, Applejack. [sighs] The search continues.
Applejack: Uh, 'scuse me, I was just wonderin'... Uh, friendship problem, anypony? See, we've been sent here to... A-A map summoned us and, uh... If you could just take a moment to...
Rarity: Friendship advice! Anypony looking for friendship advice! Good grief. This isn't working.
Applejack: [sighs] I'm not sure what we're supposed to do. To be honest, I'm still not even sure what the map called me here for.
Rarity: Oh, try not to worry, Applejack. The map picked us for a reason. Although how we're supposed to uncover that reason, I haven't a clue. We can't possibly approach every single pony in town until we find out what we're meant to d—ooh! [reading] "Please help us restore our long-lost but beloved tradition, the Midsummer Theater Revival. There's a guest performance by a local theater troupe, the Method Mares, as well as games, food, and much, much more. This event promises to bring our Bronclyn neighbors together and restore our sense of community, but there's so much to do and we need your help." Huh. [gasps] Darling, this is it! The contact on the flyer is Coco Pommel!
Applejack: Oh, right! She's the one you got a job makin' costumes for that designer friend o' yours.
Rarity: Don't you see?! This must be why the map called us here! Oh, and you were so worried!
Applejack: Well, I suppose it's at least worth lookin' into... that is, if we can ever get off this street corner.
Coco Pommel: I can't believe you found my flyer. Quite a coincidence, don't you think?
Rarity: Applejack and I were specifically summoned here to be of service, and you, my dear friend, are in need of help. It's no coincidence, darling. It's fate! [drinks]
Applejack: [gulps] This Midsummer Theater Revival – what is it, exactly? [chews]
Coco Pommel: An outdoor play held at the community park. Many moons ago, local theater troupes would perform, and ponies in the neighborhood would help make the costumes and design set pieces, prepare food to share during the performance.
Applejack: Y'all do look like you're enjoyin' each others' company. Kinda reminds me of Ponyville.
Rarity: It sounds lovely, darling.
Coco Pommel: It was, up until several moons ago.
Applejack: What happened?
Coco Pommel: That's Charity Kindheart. She was a well-known costume designer on Bridleway. She started the Midsummer Theater Revival as a way to share her passion for theater with the neighborhood. No matter how busy she was, she always made time for the Revival.
[book shuts]
Coco Pommel: But when she moved away to be closer to her grandfillies, the neighborhood lost the special tradition she had started, and worse, the sense of community it fostered.
Street Pony: Hey, I'm trotting here!
Applejack: Nopony else stepped up to take over for Charity?
Coco Pommel: I've been trying to. But I've just gotten a last-minute request to alter costumes for the cast of My Fair Filly, and I'm afraid I haven't made much progress. Oh... There's just so much to do to bring back the Midsummer Revival, and my flyers haven't attracted a single volunteer!
Rarity: Say no more! You finish up your work, and by this time tomorrow, you'll be up to your mane in ponies who want to lend a hoof. Applejack and I will make sure of it!
Coco Pommel: You will?
Applejack: You bet your boots we will!
Coco Pommel: Oh, I don't wear boots. I find they chafe my calves when I walk.
Applejack: It's just an expression.
Rarity: So you see, the Method Mares are only available on this one day, and we need all the help we can get with preparation.
"Fine Print": Yeah, not a good time right now. Heh. What am I saying? It's never a good time!
Rarity: [clearing throat] Well? What do you think?
"Chock-full Carafe": I got my own problems. You think I've got hours to dedicate to somepony else's?
"Uptown Clover": Ah, yes, Charity's Midsummer Theater Revival. Such wonderful memories.
Applejack: So you'll help us?
"Uptown Clover": Oh, [laughs], don't be ridiculous. I run a very important oat and hay import/export business. Why, I can't spare even a moment for such things!
[splash]
[ducks quacking]
Coco Pommel: This is a nightmare.
Rarity: Oh, not at all, darling. It's quite lovely.
Applejack: I think she was talkin' about the Midsummer Theater Revival.
Coco Pommel: I finished the alterations for My Fair Filly, but I've barely started the costumes for the Revival, and the Method Mares are coming to the park tomorrow for a costume fitting and rehearsal!
Rarity: Well, I could help you with the costumes.
Coco Pommel: But what are we going to do about the rest? The park is in desperate need of repairs, and the sets still need to be built!
Applejack: Well I know a thing or two about buildin' and fixin' things. It's kinda, well, my thing. Could be the reason the map called me here!
Rarity: You see, dear? We went out looking for volunteers when all the help you need is right here.
Applejack: Uh-huh.
Rarity: The map wouldn't have chosen just Applejack and me if it was more than we could handle. Everything is going to be just fine!
Rarity: Perhaps I spoke too soon...
Coco Pommel: Oh, dear, you're right. Are you sure you can manage this by yourself?
Applejack: Well, there's a lot to do, but Rarity's right. The map wouldn't have called us here if we weren't up for the challenge. You two go on and take care of the costumes. I'll see you at the dress rehearsal. [gulps]
[plants snapping]
[lawn trimmer whirring]
[shredding]
[plant snapping]
[crunch]
[crash]
[crunch]
Applejack: I know it looks bad, but I'm movin' as fast as I can.
[splat]
[clang]
Rarity: Don't worry, we've still got plenty of time. Everything's going to be—
On Stage: Um, excuse me? Is this where the Midsummer Theater Revival is supposed to be, perchance?
Raspberry Beret: We're here for the dress rehearsal?
Coco Pommel: Oh, yes! We've just put the finishing touches on the costumes.
"Late Show": [to Stardom] At least those look professional.
Raspberry Beret: We'll do a dry run of the play first, and then the fitting.
Applejack: No, wait! I haven't gotten a chance to—
[wood crunching]
Raspberry Beret: [yelps]
[crash]
Applejack: ...reinforce the stage yet.
Coco Pommel: [sighs] I just wanted to live up to Charity's example, to bring my neighborhood together again. But the park is still a mess, we haven't even thought about what refreshments to serve during the performance, and even if we had, we don't have a stage for the Method Mares to perform on! It's hopeless... Just hopeless!
Rarity: [hushed] I don't understand. The map summoned us here to solve a friendship problem. We've clearly found it, but why did it send the two of us? Why not Twilight? I'm sure she could have used her magic to transform this park in an instant!
Applejack: I've been thinkin' the same thing. I mean, I can at least see why you're here – Coco's your friend, and you have an eye for costumes and all – but me? I was never gonna be able to finish a project this big.
Rarity: [dramatically] We'll return to Ponyville as failures! Why must this be, Applejack? Why? Why?! Wh—
Applejack: Now hold on there. I'm not suggestin' we pack up and go home.
Rarity: [muffled] Then what are you suggesting— [ptoo] Then what are you suggesting?
Applejack: I'm suggestin' we stop worryin' about what we can't do and start doing what we can. I think I've got a plan. It won't be anythin' big or fancy, but it'll be somethin'. And somethin's gotta be better than nothin', right?
Coco Pommel: I suppose so...
Applejack: That's the spirit! Sorta...
[hammering]
Applejack: Alright, y'all, it's ready!
On Stage: Should we go ahead and start?
[curtains open]
Raspberry Beret: [as Charity Kindheart] Excuse me. I'm Charity Kindheart. I'm here about the open design position. I brought some samples of my work. I'm sorry I'm late. I had the hardest time finding my way here. [tearing up] I just moved here, and I keep getting mixed up by the street names! I had a map, but I dropped it in a puddle, which only made the street names harder to read!
On Stage: I see.
"Cloudy Daze": What is that?
Blueberry Curls: I dunno, sugar, looks like some kinda play.
"Cloudy Daze": Well, can we stay and watch it please? Please, can we, can we?
Blueberry Curls: Oh, alright, I suppose we could stay for a minute.
"Late Show": Excuse me, but your next appointment is here.
On Stage: Alright. Send him in. [to Raspberry Beret] I'm sorry, but based on these samples, I just don't think this is the place for you.
Raspberry Beret: [gasps dramatically]
On Stage: Don't get me wrong. These clothes are all exquisite and well-made, but more theatrical than avant-garde. Have you considered costume design? I have a contact on Bridleway! If you're interested, I can put you in touch with him. ...And scene.
[curtains close]
[ponies muttering]
[curtains open]
"Stardom": Charity, dear, is that you?
Raspberry Beret: Hello, Mrs. Pearblossom! I didn't see—oops!
"Stardom": Oh, let me help you, dear. Are these the costumes you've been working on?
Raspberry Beret: Yes, I was supposed to be finished by now, but there's just so much to do, and I still have a few last-minute alterations to make before opening night! I'm sorry I couldn't get enough tickets for everypony in the neighborhood. I hope Mr. Pearblossom wasn't too disappointed. I know Trotter on the Roof is one of his favorites.
"Stardom": Oh, my dear filly, don't worry about that. We're so proud of you. We shall be with you in spirit!
Raspberry Beret: Thank you! You've all made me feel so welcome here and have become like family to me! I just wish I could share this experience with you and the others!
"Rivet": Eh, what's goin' on?
Luckette: It's the Midsummer Theater Revival. The Method Mares are performing!
"Rivet": [sighs] The Revival. Mhm, yeah. My pop used to bring me.
"Stardom": So nice of you to put on this play for the neighborhood.
Raspberry Beret: I couldn't have done it without everypony's help! I know it's not Bridleway, but—
"Stardom": Oh, pish-tosh! It's perfect, dear!
Strawberry Ice: [eating popcorn]
Pearly Stitch: Oh, you're such a dear, thank you! This is so nice. Haven't seen the neighborhood this friendly since Charity moved away!
[audience clapping and cheering]
On Stage: Thank you, fillies and gentlecolts. Please give a warm welcome to the one who made this entire event possible – our neighbor Coco Pommel!
[audience clapping and cheering]
Coco Pommel: [clears throat] Thank you all so much for coming. The Midsummer Theater Revival was always something that meant so much to me, and it seems it means quite a lot to all of you as well. I really can't take all the credit, though. My dear friends Rarity and Applejack helped me ever so much.
[audience clapping and cheering]
Rarity: Oh, darling, please, it was just a few costumes.
Applejack: Aw, shucks, I just happen to be good with a hammer is all. To be honest, we had much bigger plans to start. When those fell through, we decided to simplify. This here was the result.
Rarity: Oh, don't be so modest. Coco and I were lost.
Coco Pommel: You bet your boots we were!
[general chatter]
"Viola": We just wanted to say how much we enjoyed the Midsummer Theater Revival and how much it inspired us!
Applejack: Oh, yeah?
"Uptown Clover": I used to think that to help my community I had to do something big. Heh-heh. And let's face it – in this day and age, who has the time for such a commitment? But here, you did something as simple as building a stage and putting on a play and, heh, look at how it's brought everypony together.
"Viola": I saw Coco's flyers for volunteers but didn't think anything I'd have time to do would be that useful. Now I wish I'd offered to help, even if it was just pulling a few weeds or planting a few flowers.
Applejack: Not sure if you noticed, but the park is far from bein' fixed up. I imagine if you look around, you'll find there's lots of little ways for you to get involved in changin' this place for the better.
"Viola": And I will!
"Uptown Clover": And I don't think we'll be alone!
[cutie marks ringing]
Applejack: Yee-hoo!
Rarity and Applejack: [laughing]
Applejack: We did it!
Rarity: [gasps] I understand now! It all makes perfect sense!
Applejack: Huh?
[thunk]
Rarity: I know why the map called you here.
Applejack: You do?
Rarity: If Twilight had used her magic to fix the park, it wouldn't have fixed the real problem, which is that these Manehattan ponies didn't think they had time to do something for their community! But by building that stage and making sure the play went on, you showed them that just by doing something small, you can make a big difference!
Applejack: Well, I'll be!
Rarity: Seems you have more in common with the Manehattan ponies than you thought!
Applejack: Heh-heh. But all the same, I'd sure like to head back to Ponyville on the next train. I want to check in with Apple Bloom and find out how the Sisterhooves Social turned out.
Rarity: Oh, absolutely, my dear. Just as soon as I stop that pony in the shop over there from purchasing that dreadfully hideous scarf! Stop! You're making a terrible mistake!
Applejack: [sighs]
[Applejack's montage music over credits]

Brotherhooves Social

Granny Smith: Oh, snickerdoodle! Where is the darned thing? [groans] I wish for once I'd remembered to label these boxes! Uh, Big Mac, be a dear and help me move those... Uh, maybe it's in that one on the bottom.
[boxes creaking]
[lid sliding]
Granny Smith: Oh, dagnabbit, it's not in there either!
Apple Bloom: [muffled laughing] [normal] You can't catch me!
Applejack: [laughing] Woo-hoo!
Apple Bloom: Hey!
Applejack: [more laughing] You trickster!
Granny Smith: Sisterhooves Social is right around the corner. Thought it'd be nice to award the winner of the big race the ribbon from when we hosted the very first Social! If'n of course I could find the darn thing. Oh, would you looky here! My, how Apple Bloom used to love watching you make that thing fly. It's like she thought you was magic. Ah, right, enough reminiscin'. Gotta find that ribbon! If you would just help me— [straining] pull... this... box, then maybe I can... Uh, Big Mac?
[thump]
Granny Smith: [straining] Found her!
[theme song]
Apple Bloom and Applejack: S-I-S-T-E-R-S! Which two sisters are the best? We are! Apple Bloom and Applejack forever! Yee-hoo!
Apple Bloom: We're gonna win every competition at the Sisterhooves Social! Those other fillies aren't gonna know what hit 'em!
Applejack: Oh. Hey there, Big Mac! Did you want somethin'?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Hold that thought. Applejack, you are the most awesome sister ever!
Applejack: Aw, gee-whiz. [laughs]. Well I think it's sweet that you hold that opinion, but—
Apple Bloom: It's not opinion! It's objective fact! You saved Equestria like a gazillion times, you're smart, funny, strong... Why you're the best sister of all time! Probably the best Apple of all time! Right, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: And with you by my side, I am guaranteed to taste sweet, sweet Sisterhooves Social victory! Go, Apples, go, go, go, Apples go!
Applejack: Uh, Apple Bloom? I think Big Mac's got somethin' he wants to show you.
[squeaking]
[dragonfly toy spinning]
[clicking]
Apple Bloom: Oh, hey. Is that the toy we used to play with when I was little?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Apple Bloom: Neat. [to Applejack] Alright then! Let's get back to practicin'! One more run-through of our jugglin' routine, make sure our harmonies are tight in our song, and see if we can't beat our best pie-eatin' time!
Applejack: Hold on, sugarcube. I need a minute to talk with Big Mac.
Apple Bloom: Mind if I go ahead and start eatin' this pie?!
[splat]
[hammer clanging on anvil]
Applejack: Hey, Big Mac, you all right?
Big McIntosh: [sighs] Yup.
Applejack: You sure? You seemed a little down back there.
Big McIntosh: [scoffs] Nope.
Applejack: Come on, you can tell me. You feelin' a little left out? Apple Bloom and I have been spendin' a lot of time together gettin' ready for the Social.
[cutie mark pulsing]
Applejack: [gasps] What in the...?
Apple Bloom: Your cutie mark! You're being summoned, Applejack! This is so cool!
Big McIntosh: [sighs] Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Wonder where you're bein' called to. Wonder what you're supposed to do when you get there. Obviously to somethin' awesome because you're awesome! But... But if you're bein' summoned to solve a friendship problem, that means you'll have to miss the Sisterhooves Social! And if you have to miss the Social, then I'll have to miss the Social, which means I won't be able to taste sweet, sweet victory! [hyperventilating]
Applejack: Now calm down. Let me just go over to Twilight's castle and see what's what! Maybe it's just a false alarm.
Apple Bloom: But you said it was a false alarm!
Applejack: I said maybe it's a false alarm. Well, it's not. Rarity and I have to go to Manehattan.
Apple Bloom: Can't you just tell that map it'll have to wait a couple days?
Applejack: No can do, sugarcube. When duty calls, I gotta answer right away. What kind of an example would I be settin' for my little sister if I didn't?
Apple Bloom: This can't be happening! Your extreme awesomeness is backfiring on me!
Applejack: [sighs] I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. [to Big Mac] Try and cheer her up, won't you?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[triangle rattling]
Granny Smith: Breakfast, come and get it!
[splat]
[poink poink]
[plate rattling]
Granny Smith: Oh, it's no use, Big Mac. If I know my Apple Bloom, she won't come out of a funk this funky 'til her big sister gets back.
[knocking]
Sweetie Belle: Hey, Apple Bloom, the Social's gonna start in a few hours. Thought you might want to go with us.
Scootaloo: Since Rarity and Applejack are out of town, you and Sweetie Belle can cheer on me and Rainbow Dash instead!
Sweetie Belle: Pretty great they're letting you participate even though you're not technically sisters.
Granny Smith: Well, the Social's always had a pretty loose definition of what consti-ma-tutes a sister. As long as you share a bond that represents the spirit of the Social, you're in!
Sweetie Belle: So what do you say?
Scootaloo: You coming?
Apple Bloom: Why not...? Got nothin' better to do... Lemme wash up and I'll meet you in a little bit.
[thunk]
Granny Smith: [sighs] Such a shame we don't live closer to all your second cousins. You could maybe do the Social with one of them instead. What is it, Big Mac? Y'all got an idea?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Apple Bloom: What? What is it?!
Scootaloo: Today is our big day!
Rainbow Dash: We have so got this. I'm gonna go sign us in.
Sweetie Belle: I guess I'm just a little jealous you two get to compete and I don't. But at least I get to be here and cheer you on! I thought Apple Bloom was gonna be here too.
Scootaloo: Guess she changed her mind. Hey, there you are! You ready to cheer on me and Rainbow Dash to victory?
Apple Bloom: Uh, not exactly. Seems I'm gonna get to participate after all.
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] Applejack is back from Manehattan already? That must mean Rarity is back too!
Apple Bloom: No, our sisters are still gone. But it, uh... turns out my long lost cousin... 'Orchard Blossom' was able to make it last minute. [nervous laugh]
Sweetie Belle: Your cousin who what now?
Big McIntosh: [as Orchard Blossom, falsetto] Well, I do declare! It's hotter today than the business end of a corncob pipe! [giggling]
Big McIntosh: Oh, my! I'm so delighted to meet your little friends, Apple Bloom. Would these be your dear and beloved Cutie Mark Crusaders?
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, cousin Orchard Blossom.
Big McIntosh: It is my extra-ordinary pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Sweetie Belle: [deadpan] That's Big Mac in a dress.
Big McIntosh: Big Mac? Why, as charmed as I am that you find me in the slightest resemblance to such a-a-a fine and noble product of the Apple clan. I am astonished in equal measure. However, I shall take this startling observation under advisement given that it's from such an astute and perceptive filly as yourself, Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle: That's awful nice of you to say, cousin Orchard Blossom! I've been told before I'm pretty observant.
Big McIntosh: I haven't the slightest doubt.
[scribbling]
Big McIntosh: Pardon me. My dearest cousin Applejack is regrettably unable to be here as planned, so I, her cousin Orchard Blossom, will accompany Apple Bloom in her stead. I trust that's acceptable to all concerned?
Rainbow Dash: Cousin Orchard Blossom, huh? I know Applejack has a lot of relatives, but I feel like she would've mentioned you.
Big McIntosh: Why, you must be Rainbow Dash. You're Scootaloo's... say... how are y'all related again?
Rainbow Dash: Hm. Why don't I just let you finish signing in? [hushed] But don't think me and Scootaloo are gonna take it easy on you just 'cause you're a stallion!
Big McIntosh: [laughs] Now, where were we?
[crunch, crunch]
Apple Bloom: Um, excuse me. I have to... go to the bathroom. [zip]
Big McIntosh: [tuts] You mean 'powder your muzzle', don't you, dear? Such a more, uh, feminine-like reference to nature's call, don't you agree?
Sweetie Belle: Have they called your brother's bluff yet?
Apple Bloom: No, but they're about to! I can't bear to watch!
Big McIntosh: Yoo-hoo! Apple Bloom! They've approved us as a pair! [giggles] Hurry along now, precious!
Apple Bloom: I can't believe they bought it!
Sweetie Belle: It's sweet he wants to help you out like this. Weird, but sweet.
[ponies singing]
Booth Barker: Bravo, bravo! Weren't those two sisters great? Now, where are our next competitors?
Big McIntosh: Here we are! This one, please.
Booth Barker: Excellent choice... ma'am.
Apple Bloom: [hushed] You sure you know all the words? 'Cause it took Applejack a pretty long time to get it down.
Big McIntosh: [hushed] Did it now?
Apple Bloom: [gulp]
[Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh]
We all love our brothers
And our fathers and mothers
We honor them like every family should
But there's somethin' that's quite unique
When my sister's there with me
And we share that special bond of sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
Sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Is a special kind of friend
Sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
Sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Is a bond that never ends
[Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh]
It's not always perfect
You might fight or be misunderstood
But together you'll always have sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
Sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
Sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
Sisterhood
[Apple Bloom]
Sisterhood
[Big McIntosh]
[deep bass] Sisterhood!
[Apple Bloom]
[joining in] ...ood
[ponies chatter]
Apple Bloom: [nervous laugh] Are you okay, cousin Orchard Blossom? You sounded like you were catchin' a cold or somethin' else that would make your voice sound totally different right at the end of the song. [nervous laugh]
Big McIntosh: Just a frog in my throat, dear. Probably just need to get a sip of water. If you'll excuse us, we've another event in which to participate. Oh, my, that certainly didn't go as I had planned. But don't you worry. We'll get you a blue ribbon yet, Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom: You sure about that?
Big McIntosh: As sure as my name is cousin Orchard Blossom.
Apple Bloom: [to herself] But that isn't your name!
Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh as Orchard Blossom: C-O-U-S-I-N-S! Which two sis— uh, cousins are the best? We are! Apple Bloom and Appleja— I mean, Orchardjack— Blossom forever!
Big McIntosh: Whee!
Apple Bloom: Whoaaa!
[crash]
[pop]
Apple Bloom: [spits] Yay.
[rope whooshing]
[pins clunking]
Big McIntosh: Oh, I don't know why I didn't choose to wear something more casual. Why, I knew that juggling routine like the back of my hoof! But never you mind. There is still the race to be run!
Apple Bloom: I really appreciate all the effort, Big Ma— cousin Orchard Blossom, but maybe we just skip the whole obstacle course thing and call it a day.
Big McIntosh: Why, Apple Bloom! I wouldn't hear of it! Your cousin Orchard Blossom may be many things, but she is not a quitter.
Apple Bloom: I'm sure she's not, but it's like Applejack said! There'll be more Sisterhooves Socials down the line, and I'm sure she'll help me get a blue ribbon next time around.
Big McIntosh: B-But you wanted to win it this Sisterhooves Social! And no matter what, I am gonna get you that win! Why, I simply have to.
Rainbow Dash: Alright, Scootaloo, remember the parts where teamwork really comes into play!
Scootaloo: How could I forget? We've been training all week!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, hot stuff! What's our move on the grape squish?
Scootaloo: The alley-oop.
Rainbow Dash: Apple toss?
Scootaloo: Flip-flop.
Rainbow Dash: Egg carrying?
Scootaloo: Flutter-bomb.
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo: Yeah!
Big McIntosh: Oh, dear.
Granny Smith: [through megaphone] Competi-sis-tors! Take your positions!
Big McIntosh: [snorts]
Granny Smith: [through megaphone] And a-ready, and a-set, go!
Rainbow Dash: Nice jump, Scoot!
Big McIntosh: [yelp]
[crunching]
[crash]
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo!
[chewing]
Big McIntosh: [belches]
[snap]
Big McIntosh: [chewing] [belches]
[grapes squishing]
[falling whistle]
[splash]
Apple Bloom: Yikes! You almost squished me!
[chickens panicking]
Big McIntosh: Pick up those hooves, Apple Bloom! Why, you're barely movin' at a mosey!
[crunch]
Big McIntosh: Come on, junebug, it's... like you've never carried an egg before!
Apple Bloom: Argh! I'm goin' as fast as I can!
Big McIntosh: [anxious jittering]
Apple Bloom: [yelps]
[crunching]
[ponies yelping]
Apple Bloom: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo: [yelps]
Big McIntosh: Woo-hoo!
[beat]
Big McIntosh: [coughs] I mean, [clears throat] victory is ours, sweet Apple Bloom!
[ripping]
[thunk]
Big McIntosh: Uh-oh.
Registration Pony: "Uh-oh" indeed!
Apple Bloom: I should've known you'd eventually get busted for bein' a stallion!
Registration Pony: Oh, no, we've known all along. The Sisterhooves Social has always had a loose policy when it comes to what counts as a "sister". But we do have a strict policy when it comes to sportsponyship! In your "sister's" desperation to win, he used brute strength to physically take out the competitors. Uh, that kind of behavior is not just unbecoming of a lady, but quite frankly, of anypony! And for that, you two are hereby disqualified!
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Looks like we win, squirt!
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo! Yeah!
[ponies cheering]
Apple Bloom: I told you I should've just waited until the next Social to win with Applejack.
Big McIntosh: [sighs]
[balloon popping]
Apple Bloom: You know I'm... not mad, right?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: I mean... let's face it – you dressin' up as my cousin Orchard Blossom was a pretty crazy idea in the first place.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: And it's not like you got me disqualified from the Social forever or anythin'. I can participate next time with Applejack. Everything's fine.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: I just don't understand why you went so crazy there at the end of the race. I mean, I know you like to win an' all, but... you wanna tell me what's goin' on?
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Apple Bloom: Alright. Well, it's getting late. You comin'?
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Apple Bloom: Okay. See you later, I guess...
Big McIntosh: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: Yeah?
Big McIntosh: When you were little, you used to look up to me, thought I was the best thing since zap apple jam. Things are different now. Applejack's the hero of the Apple family, always rushin' off to save Equestria. And I'm just here on the farm, doin' chores, helpin' out the way I can, nothin' special, nobody's hero. I guess I just thought... oh, never mind. Here I am about to start blabberin' on about my feelin's. You don't wanna hear all this.
Apple Bloom: Yes, I do!
Big McIntosh: I guess I just thought if I could... fill in for Applejack at the Social and get you a blue ribbon, well, I could be somepony you looked up to again. Be your hero again. Even if it was for just a day. It was foolish and I'm ashamed. Please, I just wanna be alone right now.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, well, too bad, you big goof! 'Cause I'm not goin' anywhere. And I know that you're always gonna be here when I need you. Heck, you'll do a whole obstacle course in high heels if you think it'll help me get somethin' I want. You're my big brother. You've always been a hero to me, Big Mac, and you always will be. I'm real sorry I haven't been lettin' you know that's how I feel. Guess both of us have been holdin' back when it comes to expressin' ourselves, huh?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Granny Smith: Big Mac! Apple Bloom! Your sister's home! She says she's got quite a story to tell about her trip to Manehattan!
Apple Bloom: Be there in a bit! I'm spending some quality time with my big brother! [to Big Mac] Hey, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup?
Apple Bloom: How do you think cousin Orchard Blossom would describe this sunset?
Big McIntosh: [chuckles] Why, dear, I do declare this is the most beautiful sunset my eyes have ever looked upon. Though sitting here on these tree roots is a trifle uncomfortable for my hindquarters.
Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh: [laughing]
[credits]

Crusaders of the Lost Mark

Apple Bloom: Okay, Crusaders! Back to the business of earnin' our cutie marks! Any suggestions?
Scootaloo: No, we've tried everything!
Sweetie Belle: We've run out of ideas.
Apple Bloom: Are you kiddin' me, Crusaders? We can do better than that!
[Apple Bloom]
We've been searchin' for our cutie marks
For a while now
Tryin' to find out how we fit in
So many ways we've tried before
But we keep on tryin' more
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
'Cause the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't give in
We'll make our mark
One way or another
We'll make our mark
On the day that we discover
The ultimate reward of our cutie marks!
Apple Bloom: Now, that's more like it!
Pipsqueak: Cutie Mark Crusaders! Help!
Apple Bloom: What's wrong, Pipsqueak?
Pipsqueak: I'm running for student pony president, I was hoping you three would be my campaign managers!
Apple Bloom: We've never tried gettin' our cutie marks in campaign managin'! What do ya say, Crusaders?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah! Hoof!
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: [loudly] So, Pip, how would you help the school if you were elected student pony president?
Pipsqueak: Our playground equipment took quite a beating during Twilight's battle with Tirek!
[snap, thump]
Pipsqueak: If I'm voted in as student pony president, I'll go to the school board and right this wrong!
[foals cheering]
Diamond Tiara: Well, I think that's a ridiculous waste of money! It's just like when Twist proposed to repair the window that Discord destroyed! She just wanted to repair it like a plain old schoolhouse window. But you all know voting for me was the best choice because I convinced the school board to give that window visual appeal!
Apple Bloom: 'Course, it doesn't hurt that her mother Spoiled Rich is president of the school board.
Silver Spoon: Exactly! Which is why when Diamond Tiara is voted student pony president, the school will be putting a statue of her in the center of our schoolyard!
Diamond Tiara: [through gritted teeth] Silver Spoon! That was my big announcement for when I won!
Silver Spoon: I was only trying to help.
Diamond Tiara: [through gritted teeth] I don't need that kind of help!
Apple Bloom: Haven't we all had enough of Diamond Tiara?
Scootaloo: Do we really need a big statue of her?
Sweetie Belle: Especially where our playground equipment should be?
[foals shocked whispering]
Pipsqueak: A vote for Pip is a vote for the playground!
Diamond Tiara: A vote for Diamond Tiara is a vote for more Diamond Tiara!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
It's time to make a change
This is our chance
Don't be afraid to do what's right
He's it! Vote for Pip!
We got an opportunity
To have fun again
A vote for Pip, and you can join the fight
It's time for a new leader
It's time to make a change
We're here to fight for what we believe
(Vote for Pip!)
It's finally time we beat her
And play a better game
'Cause when we vote together
There's nothing that we can't achieve
[Diamond Tiara]
I don't believe what I am hearing
I'm the only one you should be cheering
Pipsqueak? Try "Pip's weak!" Don't you think?
But a diamond is perfection
It's natural selection
So your vote better be for me, not the weakest link
Apple Bloom: We'll let the votin' decide!
[Diamond Tiara]
Everypony has their little secrets
I know you do
A vote for me will help you keep them safe
Like your creepy super strength!
Or your mane extension
A little thing I won't mention
Or those freakish large teeth in your face!
Apple Bloom: Come on now, ponies! Don't listen to her!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
You've gotta vote for change
It's time for a new leader
End all the tyranny
Vote now and we can beat her
It's now another day
And we believe in what's right
[Foals]
Vote for Pip! Vote for Pip!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Our victory is in sight
Diamond Tiara: Stop! Everypony who hasn't voted, listen up!
Pip makes promises he can't keep
But I can do more
You could really use a new bookbag
'Cause I'll make things happen
That none of you here can afford
To do, like, ever!
Wouldn't you like a little something sweet?
Here's a parasol to hide you from the heat
Who says that I can't be nice?
But first there's one thing
An itsy-bitsy little string
And voting for me is the price!
[Silver Spoon]
I've a tiny suggestion
That you should be aware
You could probably win this election
If you show them all you real—
Diamond Tiara: I don't recall asking you to speak!
All: [gasps]
Sweetie Belle: Well, if that's how you treat your best friend, then I choose Pipsqueak!
[Foals]
Vote!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Stand strong and don't be afraid, ponies
Let's free ourselves from the past
[Foals]
For Pip!
Vote!
[Foals]
He's it! Vote for Pip! Vote!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
We'll let honor win out against the tyranny
And make a change that will last
[Foals]
For Pip!
Vote!
[Foals]
Vote for Pip!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
It's time for a new leader
It's time to make a change
We're here to fight for what we believe
[Foals]
Vote for Pip!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
It's finally time we beat her
And play a better game
'Cause when we vote together
There's nothing that we can't achieve
[Foals]
Vote for Pip!
Cheerilee: The votes have been counted! The student pony president is... Pipsqueak!
Diamond Tiara: Huh?!
[foals cheering]
Apple Bloom: Oh, my gosh, Crusaders! Pip won!
Pipsqueak: I couldn't have won without the hard work of my campaign managers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Sweetie Belle: Campaign manager cutie marks!
Diamond Tiara: Guess you're not as good as you thought, blank flanks! In fact, I demand a recount!
Cheerilee: Trust me, Diamond Tiara. Pip won.
Diamond Tiara: I'll be the judge of that, Miss Cheerilee!
[beat]
Diamond Tiara: What?! One vote! Silver Spoon! You didn't vote for me?!
Silver Spoon: No, I didn't.
Diamond Tiara: But you're my best friend!
Silver Spoon: Am I? 'Cause I tried to help by mentioning your 'surprise' statue, and suddenly I wasn't even allowed to speak! You could have actually won this election if you just listened to me. You wanna know how? [whispering] Sorry. I'm not allowed to speak.
Diamond Tiara: [screams in rage]
Silver Spoon: [to Cutie Mark Crusaders and Pipsqueak] What? I don't have to follow her drum any more.
Apple Bloom: I know Diamond Tiara's been pretty awful, but... we should probably make sure she's okay. Just 'cause she's never cared about anypony else's feelings doesn't mean we shouldn't care about hers.
[door opens]
Spoiled Rich: Diamond Tiara! Why are you making that face? That is not the face of a winner.
Diamond Tiara: Because... I didn't win.
Spoiled Rich: What?! You mean I hefted all these party supplies to celebrate nothing?!
[thump]
Diamond Tiara: Sorry mother.
Spoiled Rich: It's bad enough you lost to that transplant from Trottingham, but imagine if you'd lost to one of those blank flanks. As a Rich pony, you must always think of your social standing.
Fancy Pants: Hm.
Spoiled Rich: That starts here in Ponyville and reaches all over Equestria. Don't ever forget that, Diamond Tiara. Ever!
[Diamond Tiara]
If I'm a diamond
Then why do I feel so rough?
I'm as strong as a stone
Even that's not enough
There's something jagged in me
And I've made such mistakes
I thought that diamonds were hard
Though I feel I could break
Would you believe
That I've always wished I could be somepony else?
Yet I can't see
What I need to do to be the pony I want to be
I've been told my whole life
What to do, what to say
Nopony showed me that
There might be some better way
And now I feel like I'm lost
I don't know what to do
The ground is sinking away
I'm about to fall through
Would you believe
That I've always wished I could be somepony else?
Yet I can't see
What I need to do to be the pony I want to be
To be the pony I want to be
Sweetie Belle: Is it weird that I feel bad for her?
Scootaloo: If it is, then... I'm weird, too.
Apple Bloom: She wants to change, but she doesn't know how.
Sweetie Belle: Seems like she could use a friend or two to help her figure it out.
[bell ringing]
[foals chattering]
Apple Bloom: Hey, Diamond Tiara! Wait up!
Diamond Tiara: What do you three want? To gloat? Rub in my defeat?
Apple Bloom: Actually, we wanted to invite you to our clubhouse to hang out.
Diamond Tiara: Really?
Scootaloo: Yeah, for real!
Diamond Tiara: Well, thanks to you all, I don't have any important class president business to attend to or anything. So I might as well.
Sweetie Belle: That sounds like a yes...
Diamond Tiara: So, do you three just sit around here plotting out different ways to try and get your cutie marks?
Apple Bloom: Actually, yeah.
Diamond Tiara: You three are... really lucky.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We are?!
Diamond Tiara: Yeah! You get to explore all these options, learning who you really are before you're stuck with something you don't understand.
Apple Bloom: But... you've done that, right?
Diamond Tiara: Yeah, 'cause I have my cutie mark! And I'm not struggling at all to figure out who I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing with this mark that's already on my flank!
Apple Bloom: Uh... are you sure about that?
Diamond Tiara: [scoffs] That's a weird question.
Sweetie Belle: Not really, since we kind of overheard you yesterday.
Diamond Tiara: Were you trying to get your cutie mark in spying? Is that on your little chart?
Sweetie Belle: No! We were just worried about you when you lost the election, and then you lost your friend, and then your mom yelled at you...
Apple Bloom: We know you wanna change, and we think we can—
Pipsqueak: [muffled] Help!
[door opens]
Pipsqueak: Cutie Mark Crusaders! I was at the school board meeting and they didn't approve my request for the new playground equipment!
Sweetie Belle: Why not?
Pipsqueak: There's no money in the budget! So I checked my Peggy bank to see if I had enough bits, but my little Peggy wasn't nearly full enough!
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, Pip!
Scootaloo: We'll meet you back at school.
Apple Bloom: And help you find a solution!
Pipsqueak: Thanks, Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Diamond Tiara: Oh, I already have a solution! Our new student pony president is gonna be kicked out of office, and I'll be reinstated!
Scootaloo: Where's she going?
Apple Bloom: Where do you think?! C'mon! After her!
Sweetie Belle: Wait! I'm coming too!
[Diamond Tiara]
Cutie Mark Crusaders, get out of my way
Those ponies need to know the truth
And they'll hear it from me
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Stop! Diamond Tiara, this is not the way
You know you're better than this hostility
[Diamond Tiara]
You don't even know me at all
Don't understand the meaning of my fall
What my family would think if I ever
Fail at anything
I'm a diamond – that means you'll never break
No matter what be the cost of the path I take
Whatever I have to do to win in the end
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Stop! This is not the answer
Wait! And it's plainly seen
Listen! You can redeem yourself
But by helping others, not by being mean
We know you want friends who admire you
You want to be the star with all the power too
But there's a better way, there's a better wa-a-ay
There's so much more still left to
Learn about yourself
See the light that shines in you
We know you can be somepony else
You can stop right now
And try another start
You'll finally free yourself from the dark
And see the light
And see the light of your cutie mark
Diamond Tiara: Everypony, I have an announcement!
Apple Bloom: Diamond Tiara! Think hard about the choice you're makin' right now!
Scootaloo: You can be a better pony!
[door opens]
Spoiled Rich: Diamond Tiara! I just happened to be here for the school board meeting, and this is what I see when we adjourn? My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how you move up in Equestria! Come, Diamond Tiara!
Diamond Tiara: No, mother!
Spoiled Rich: Excuse me?!
Diamond Tiara: You've spent your life acting like a high horse and raised me to follow in your hoofprints! At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something you don't have – friends!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasps]
Foals and Cheerilee: [gasps]
Spoiled Rich: That's enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank flanks!
Diamond Tiara: These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends! You need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! They are working harder to get their cutie marks than anypony I've ever seen! And they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent, which I guarantee will be amazing! Now, will you please deliver this to father?
Spoiled Rich: Yes, of course, dear...
Diamond Tiara: I have to thank you, Crusaders. Obviously I've known since I got my cutie mark that my talent is getting other ponies to do what I want. I just asked my father if he could donate the money for the new playground equipment!
[foals chattering]
Diamond Tiara: [to Pipsqueak] I knew you were worried for a second there, weren't you? Ha! Well, I think it's all gonna work out just fine, Mister President!
[Diamond Tiara]
We'll build a playground
For all of us to enjoy
So full of games
There's enough for each girl and boy
I want to help and do
Everything that I can
I'm here to show you I changed
Listen up, here's the plan
Bring it in! That's right, keep it coming! Hey there, you with the amazing strength. Can you help them move that merry-go-round across the lawn? Thank you so much! And you with the super teeth, we need you to help with that teeter-totter. You got it! That's the spirit!
There's so much I can do
To help everypony else
I see the light that shines in me
I know I can be my better self
I can free the past
'Cause now the future's bright for me
My cutie mark has set me free
To do what's right and be the pony I want to be
And be the pony I want to be!
Apple Bloom: I've been thinkin', Crusaders. We spend an awful lot of time fussin' and frettin' tryin' to discover our true talent. But when we take a little time off, we end up helpin' other ponies figure out their true talent!
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, and I think that's way more important than worrying about our cutie marks, don't you?
Scootaloo: Absolutely! I don't care if I ever get my cutie mark as long as I get to hang out with my best friends.
Apple Bloom: So what do you say, Crusaders? Want to just focus on helpin' others find their cutie marks?
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
[magic zaps]
[foals gasping]
Sweetie Belle: What happened?
Apple Bloom: What's goin' on?
Diamond Tiara: It's your cutie marks! They're amazing!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We all got the same cutie mark! Cutie Mark Crusaders forever!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
We were searching for our cutie marks
For a while there
Trying to find out how we fit in
So many ways we've tried before
But we kept on trying more
'Cause the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't give in
[Scootaloo]
Now we know what it took all along
[Sweetie Belle]
And our journey here is never really done
[Apple Bloom]
For it is more than just a mark
It's a place for us to start
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
An adventure that has only just begun
We'll make our mark
Show the world what we can do
We'll make our mark
Helping fillies to break through
To the ultimate reward of a cutie mark
Pinkie Pie: All right, everypony! Get ready for the biggest cute-ceañera celebration ever!
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: Oh, sugarcube, if Mom and Dad were here, they'd be so proud of ya.
Apple Bloom: Oh... Thanks, Applejack.
Applejack: Now go on and party with your pals.
[Rainbow Dash]
I'm so proud of you, little buddy
You've taught me a thing or two
[Rarity]
You've inspired everypony around you
And you've inspired me too
[Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack]
You've made your mark
Done Equestria so proud
You've made your mark
And we're here to sing it loud
For the ultimate reward of your cutie mark
Apple Bloom: Well, what do you think, Crusaders? Were these cutie marks totally worth waiting for or what?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! I can't wait to see who we're gonna help next!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
We started out just three
Crusaders driven to see
What we find in our hearts
Discover our destiny
And here we are, best friends
About to start it again
An adventure that never will end
We'll make our mark
Helping fillies most in need
We'll make our mark
So each one of them succeeds
'Cause the ultimate reward is a cutie mark!
[credits]

The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows

Pinkie Pie: Five hundred and sixty-six, five hundred and sixty-seven, five hundred and sixty-eight... Phew! Look at that, Pound Cake! I am so close to breaking my personal cupcake-icing record!
Mrs. Cake: My goodness! I can't believe what I'm seeing here!
Pinkie Pie: Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.
Mrs. Cake: Pinkie, would you mind watching the counter while I pop to the supply room? We've just received a very special order, and the ingredients need to be perfect.
Pumpkin Cake: [squeals]
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie-lokie.
Mrs. Cake: Thanks, dear!
[zip]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: A baby?! Shining Armor and Princess Cadance are having a baby?! [squeals] This is the best news ever! I can't wait to tell Twilight!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, em, Pinkie, uh... [whispers] it's a top secret surprise.
Mrs. Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [prolonged shushing]
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: A top secret surprise?! That means I have to keep the exciting news... [gulps] ...to myself!
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: Even though I didn't technically make a Pinkie Promise to Mrs. Cake, I can't tell Twilight or anypony the big news! That would make me a... a... a big old surprise ruiner! Right, Gummy?
Gummy: [sucking on pacifier]
Pinkie Pie: Did you take that from Pound Cake again? Don't you know it's wrong to steal from a baby?
Rarity: What's all this about a baby?
Pinkie Pie: What? Who? What? Who said something about a baby?!
Rarity: You did, Ms. Pie, just now. What were you talking about?
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: [sucking on pacifier]
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Everypony's here. Now I don't have to wait any longer to tell you all the wonderful news! Somepony special is coming to visit Ponyville, and I need your help getting everything ready!
[main cast chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: It's...
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor and Princess Cadance!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, and they're coming—
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Tomorrow!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, on the—
Pinkie Pie: Friendship Express rather than the Crystal Empire train so as not to cause too much of a scene when they skip town to come visit? [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes.
Pinkie Pie: Annnnnd?
Twilight Sparkle: And that's it.
Pinkie Pie: Oh.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how did you know all that?
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] Uh... Pinkie Sense?
[stretching noise]
Rainbow Dash: So, you said you needed our help with something?
Twilight Sparkle: Follow me.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet posters! Is that Smash Fortune?
Twilight Sparkle: It sure is! When Shining Armor said he wanted to come to the castle and visit, I started collecting things he liked when he was a colt as a surprise!
Pinkie Pie: Surprise?! [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: I've been so excited that it's been hard to keep it to myself!
Pinkie Pie: [slightly muffled] I have no idea what that's like!
Fluttershy: Aww, look at the cute little ant farm!
[ant screeches]
Spike: And check out all these old comic books!
Twilight Sparkle: Be careful! They're mint-in-bag!
Spike: [blowing] [nervous whistling]
Pinkie Pie: What's this?
Twilight Sparkle: This is Brutus Force. Shining Armor used to carry him around like his baby!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! [nervous laugh] Really cute! [nervous laugh]
Rarity: It is a bit juvenile for castle décor, but it is very sweet of you.
Fluttershy: I'm sure Shining Armor will love it.
Twilight Sparkle: Me, too. But there's a few more things I'd like to add before he gets here, and I could really use a hoof collecting them.
Applejack: Whatever you need, sugarcube, we'll help you get it.
Rest of main cast sans Twilight: [various agreements]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, everypony! I just can't wait 'til they walk in and see everything!
Rainbow Dash: Totally understandable. Watching somepony else be surprised with something is almost better than being the one who's getting the surprise!
Pinkie Pie: But... eh... what if the surprise is something so incredibly exciting that a pony can't keep it in any longer, and she has to tell the pony standing next to her what it is or she might explode?!
Fluttershy: I would say... no.
Rarity: The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt forever!
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] Gotta bounce!
[pinball noises]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: So, I know the bar is set pretty high, but does anypony else think Pinkie Pie was acting weirder than usual?
[zoom]
[door shuts]
Pinkie Pie: [heavy breathing] Phew, that was close! Too close. I almost spilled the beans. Beans that would be really hard to clean up! I obviously can't be around my friends right now. Or anypony for that matter! Hmmm... That's it! If Shining Armor and Cadance are coming tomorrow, then all I have to do is lock myself in my room away from everypony until they arrive! Then I won't ruin anything!
Mr. Cake: Oh, good, you're back! Mrs. Cake needs my help, but these deliveries can't wait! I can't thank you enough for agreeing to be my backup delivery pony, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: I... did?
Mr. Cake: Maybe I should hire somepony to be my backup delivery pony.
Pinkie Pie: I'll do it!
Mr. Cake: Really?
Pinkie Pie: Sure! There's no possible way that I could ever have anything that might interfere with doing that task, like a gigantic, emotionally exhausting surprise that would make it super hard to be around other ponies.
Mr. Cake: Great! Uh, you're sure you won't change your mind?
Pinkie Pie: No way! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah. I Pinkie Promised I'd do it. And I never break a Pinkie Promise! Never!
Mr. Cake: Well, thanks again! You're a real cake-saver!
Pinkie Pie: [deflates, sighs] Hm. Maybe it'll be a quiet day and I can just avoid everypony!
[cart squeaking]
Apple Bloom: Hiya, Pinkie Pie!
Sweetie Belle: Heard any good gossip today?
Scootaloo: Yeah, we're bored. Please say you have some interesting news.
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Fluttershy, what a surprise! I mean, not a surprise! [squee]
Fluttershy: You were in such a rush earlier. Twilight wanted me to ask you if you would bring some snacks to the castle for Shining Armor and Cadance's visit.
Pinkie Pie: Definitely! Got it! Pinkie Promise! Yeah! Heh.
Fluttershy: You know, maybe some baby carrots...
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] What did you say?!
Fluttershy: Baby carrots! They're Shining Armor's favorite.
Pinkie Pie: Mine too! Baby carrots are kinda like big carrots but smaller, kinda like how foals are tiny versions of their parents but smaller and cuter and— Albino squirrel!
Fluttershy: Where? Is it Albert?
Pinkie Pie: It's time to kick this operation into hyper-hoof and avoid all ponies by any means necessary!
[cart squeaking]
[knocking]
[door opens]
[zoom]
[sewing machine clicking]
[light splashing]
Pinkie Pie: It didn't feel good ignoring my friends like that... Maybe I can tell just one little pony the surprise?
Rarity: [with reverb] The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt forever!
Pinkie Pie: You're right, spooky-reflection-of-Rarity-that-I-know-is-actually-my-own-imagination. I can't tell anypony at all! [sighs] Then they would tell Twilight, and she wouldn't be surprised, and it would be all my fault.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Finally, I'm all aloney on my owney.
[paper rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Wow, great idea! I'm starving too! [chewing] [with mouth full] This apple is delicious! [swallows] What are you having, Gummy? Oh, no! It's the list that Twilight helped me make yesterday so I wouldn't forget all of my Pinkie Promises today! And I have three more things to do! Aw, four if you count bringing those snacks to Twilight's castle! I've been getting liberal with those Pinkie Promises lately...
[balloons squeaking]
Sweetie Belle: Ooh! I want a flamingo!
[balloons squeaking]
Apple Bloom: I want a goldfish!
[balloons squeaking]
Scootaloo: Surprise me!
[balloons squeaking]
[baby crying]
Scootaloo: Is that a... baby bottle?
Pinkie Pie: [screams] No! It's a... a... puppy! Ha ha, woof woof, ha ha! Eh...
Scootaloo: Are you sure? Because it looks like a—
Pinkie Pie: Next!
Featherweight: Uh, a baby pony, please! Uh, unless of course that would be a royal pain...
Pinkie Pie: Interesting choice of words, Featherweight.
Featherweight: Was it?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. Was it?
Featherweight: Uh, maybe you'd better just make me a giraffe.
[filing cabinets closing]
Mayor Mare: My, your friends weren't kidding when they said you had a great filing system, Pinkie! You are Ponyville's best kept secret!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm not!
Mayor Mare: [hushed] Speaking of secrets, have you ever known somepony else's secret?
[papers rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Noooooo...
Mayor Mare: [hushed] A surprise that was so big and exciting that it was all you could think about?
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
Mayor Mare: [strangled sigh] Me neither...
[balloon inflating]
"Wooden Legs": [laughing] That's just what I wanted. Thanks, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: You're welcome!
"Wooden Legs": Oh, by the way, can you help spread the word about the big crib sale I'm having?
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Treat your foal like... royalty"?!
[thump]
"Wooden Legs": [laughing] Pretty good slogan, huh? I came up with it all by myself!
Pinkie Pie: [screaming]
"Wooden Legs": Oh. I thought it was clever.
[balloon deflates]
Twilight Sparkle: Those look yummy, Pinkie! Let me help you! But we better cover them up so they don't get spoiled.
Pinkie Pie: Why would they get spoiled? We're all gonna eat them super soon!
Applejack: Oh, didn't anypony tell you? Shining Armor and Cadance are held up. They may not arrive 'til Saturday.
Pinkie Pie: Whaaaaaaaaaat?! [hyperventilating] You mean... [breathes] I have... [breathes] to wait... [breathes] another whole day?! I don't know if I can!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, do you have something you need to say? You seem like you've been keeping something in.
Pinkie Pie: [inarticulate yell]
Fluttershy: We're here to listen.
Applejack: Well, go on then, sugarcube.
Rarity: We're not going to judge you, darling.
Spike: You'll feel so much better once you get it off your chest!
Pinkie Pie: [blowing up balloon]
Rainbow Dash: Come on.
[balloon pops]
Rainbow Dash: Whatever it is, you can tell us! We're best friends! [with reverb] Friends! Friends! Friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [with reverb] Tell!
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [with reverb] Tell! Tell!
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie: Friends! Friends! Friends! Tell! Tell! Tell!
Pinkie Pie: Okay, okay, you win! [inhales] Shining Armor and Cadance are gonna have a—
Shining Armor: An awesome weekend with the best little sister in all of Equestria!
Princess Cadance: [giggles] Hi, everypony.
Pinkie Pie: [exhales]
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor, Cadance! You're early! I thought something had come up and you weren't gonna make it until Saturday!
Princess Cadance: So did we. Turned out we weren't needed in Maretonia until next week. And the summit we were supposed to attend today had to be rescheduled, so... we got here even sooner than planned!
Shining Armor: Surprise!
Princess Cadance: It's wonderful to see you all again!
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [chattering]
Applejack: Well, the pleasure's all ours, Princess.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you're here! I have a big surprise for you!
Shining Armor: Oh, yeah?
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie and Princess Cadance: [chattering]
Shining Armor: [hushed] Lucky we came when we did, huh? I'm guessing you saw the scroll we sent to Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Hey, I'm impressed you've been able to keep our secret this long!
Pinkie Pie: So you're gonna tell Twilight now?!
[honk]
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie and Princess Cadance: [chattering]
Shining Armor: [hushed] You're gonna have to wait just a little bit longer. We have something special planned. It'll be worth it, I promise.
Pinkie Pie: It'd better be.
Applejack: So, do you think Shining Armor liked his surprise?
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't you see him? He couldn't stop raving about it!
Shining Armor: [excited horse noises]
Rainbow Dash: Where did Shining Armor and Cadance say they'd meet us? [stomach rumbling] I'm starving!
Twilight Sparkle: In the town square. I wish they'd waited to walk over with us, but they said they had something to take care of first!
Pinkie Pie: [through gritted teeth] They're gonna have a lot more to take care of soon...
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Pinkie Pie: Nothiiiiiiing!
[zoom]
Twilight Sparkle: That's odd. Usually they're quite punctual.
Rainbow Dash: Ughhh! I need a hayburger in my belly right now!
Twilight Sparkle: What's this? [gasps]
Rarity: What does it say?
Twilight Sparkle: A scavenger hunt! Shining Armor used to set these up for me when I was a filly! At the end, there was always a big prize, like a new book, or several new books, or—
Pinkie Pie: We get the picture! You like books!
Applejack: So what's the first clue?
Rainbow Dash: I hope it's something about eating lunch!
Pinkie Pie: [reading quickly] "You've got a scroll, you're on a roll, why don't you take a peek where young ones spend their week? A piece of paper will continue this caper."
Twilight Sparkle: I've got it! "Where the young ones spend their week."
Applejack: I'm not quite followin'.
[school bell ringing]
Twilight Sparkle: It's the Ponyville Schoolhouse!
Pinkie Pie: Good enough for me! Now where's the next clue? [panting like a dog] [sniffing] [sneezes]
Featherweight: Extra, extra! Get your Ponyville news! Read it in the paper! Extra, extra! [continues repeating under]
Twilight Sparkle: "A piece of paper will continue this caper." [gasps] It's in the Foal Free Press!
[paper rustling]
Rarity: Ooh, look at that dress Mayor Mare is wearing in the social report! Why, it's stunning!
Applejack: Uh, didn't you make that, Rarity?
Rarity: Yes, what is your point?
Pinkie Pie: Focus, everypony!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, there's really no time limit on these scavenger hunts, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Aha! There! [tapping paper]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Though this hall is rather small, in it you'll find files of all kinds. Take a look on the back of the birth certificate of Applejack."
Applejack: I don't like where this is goin'.
[zoom]
[knee-knocking noises]
Mayor Mare: Baby! A royal ba—!
Pinkie Pie: A-hem?
Twilight Sparkle: Does anypony know where the birth certificates are kept?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I do, I do! Go down that hall, then you take a left, then a right, then another right, then a slight left, and it's the third door from the right!
Fluttershy: Wow, Pinkie. I never knew you knew so much about town hall.
Pinkie Pie: There's a lot of things I know! That you don't know I know!
[folders rustling]
Fluttershy: Oh, you're so cute.
Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "This next place is where you can buy a table or chair, or some comfy beds to rest little heads"?
[zip]
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh, really? None of you? [groan] It's obviously the furniture store! Go in, go in, go in!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know...
Pinkie Pie: Daagh, fine!
[rumbling and commotion]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Wow, you're scary good at this, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: [reading quickly] "It seems we've saved the best for last. We hope that you have had a blast. Now it's time to take a break where you can get a slice of cake!"
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie: Sugarcube Corner!
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] That was an easy one.
[door opens, bell rings]
Shining Armor: Surprise! Twily, did you like the scavenger hunt?
Twilight Sparkle: It was perfect! Just like old times, except even better because this time I got to share it with my best friends! There's just one thing missing, isn't there?
Shining Armor: What's that?
Twilight Sparkle: Mmmm, the book prize at the end!
Shining Armor: [laughs] There's still a prize, but it's a little different this time.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. I don't understand.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles quietly]
Princess Cadance: All the places we sent you today had something in common.
Twilight Sparkle: First we went to the schoolhouse...
Pinkie Pie: [trembling]
Twilight Sparkle: And then we read the Foal Free Press... After that we found Applejack's birth certificate... And then the last clue was under a crib.
Pound and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... School... foal... birth certificate... and crib... [gasps] Can it be? Are you two...?!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: We're having a baby!
Pinkie Pie: A baby, Twilight! It's a baby! Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: You mean... I'm going to be an aunt?! This is the best prize ever!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I love you guys! And I can't wait to meet your little foal!
Shining Armor: Neither can we.
[chattering]
Pinkie Pie: I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it! [squee] [pop] Go, Pinkie.
[chattering]
Princess Cadance: [giggles] You did it, Pinkie Pie! You kept it a surprise! Thank you! Was it much trouble?
Pinkie Pie: Piece of cake! [squee]
[credits]

Hearthbreakers

[rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Happy Hearth's Warming Eve!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [laughing]
Applejack: Shucks, Twilight! Y'all done it up nice and cozy in here.
Twilight Sparkle: We're about to hang our Hearth's Warming dolls if you wanna join us.
Applejack: Oh, that's mighty sweet of you, but we're just stoppin' in to wish y'all a happy Hearth's Warmin' before we go.
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's sweet that your families are spending the holiday together.
Pinkie Pie: Picture the most fun-tacular thing you can think of. Now multiply that times infinity! Whoo! It's gonna be great!
[train whistle blowing]
Applejack: That's us. See you later!
Spike: Now can we open presents?
Applejack: But tonight is Hearth's Warming Eve. Everypony knows you don't open presents 'til tomorrow.
Twilight Sparkle: When Spike and I spent our first Hearth's Warming Eve together, he couldn't wait all night to open his presents! Ever since then, we've always opened them the night before!
Spike: It's kinda like our tradition!
Applejack: That's not how our family does it, and I reckon it can't be how Pinkie's does it. Is it?
Pinkie Pie: No sirree!
Twilight Sparkle: To each their own, I suppose.
[train whistle blowing]
Pinkie Pie: Agh! Gotta go, bye!
Spike: [straining]
[paper tearing]
Spike: Just what I always wanted! A book...
[theme song]
[train engine noises]
Porter Pony: Chancellor Puddinghead puddings! How 'bout a Windigo-frosted snow cone?
Applejack: It's so excitin'! Related or not, it's gonna be a hoot havin' our families together under one roof!
Pinkie Pie: Apples and Pies together again for the first time! Maybe. Unless we're related! Which maybe we're not. I think I just confused myself.
Applejack: Friends or family, this here's about togetherness.
Apple Bloom: [mouth full] Have you tried the Equestria flag crepes? The blue is blueberry! And don't tell Granny I saw, but her trunk is full of presents!
Applejack: Now hang on, sugarcube. You know Hearth's Warmin' isn't just about candy and presents, right?
Apple Bloom: Uh-oh. That's your boring sisterly lecture voice.
Granny Smith: [snoring in background]
Applejack: 'Fraid so! [clears throat] A long time ago, the Earth ponies, Pegasus ponies, and unicorn ponies weren't friends.
Pinkie Pie: [as unicorn pony] I don't like you! [as Pegasus pony] I don't like you either!
Applejack: But then, the icy chill of the Windigos almost iced up everythin'. So the ponies decided to work together, and their friendship drove them nasty critters away.
Pinkie Pie: [as Pegasus pony] Beat it, Windigos!
Applejack: Triumphant, they raised a new flag to celebrate all three tribes, and Equestria was born.
[biting sound]
Applejack: Uh, what happened to the flag?
Pinkie Pie: [chewing, with mouth full] I don't know... [swallows, licks]
Apple Bloom: Is that why we celebrate with a flag raisin' tomorrow?
Applejack: Mm-hmm! And tonight, we'll have the traditional Hearth's Warmin' Eve dinner to remember the shared bounties of our ancestors.
Pinkie Pie: We do that too!
Applejack: Then we'll hang our Hearth's Warmin' dolls over the fireplace to remind us of the warmth shared on that fateful night.
Pinkie Pie: That's what our family does too!
Applejack: And tomorrow, we open presents!
Pinkie Pie: Ah! We do that too!
Apple Bloom: Sounds like the Apples and the Pies do everything the same way!
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously] Of course! We might be related! Hey, I was gonna say that! Stop sayin' what I'm sayin'! You stop it first! [beat] [laughing]
[train whistle blows]
[train braking]
[train whistle blows]
Pinkie Pie: I'm so happy, I need to make up a new word for how happy I am. What about... "rooftastic"? [squee]
Applejack: "Rooftastic"?
Pinkie Pie: As in, I'm gonna stand on the roof and yell to everypony how rooftastic this is!
[thump]
Applejack: What if our families don't like each other?
Pinkie Pie: We are friends, Applejack, and after tonight, our families are gonna be friends too. Do you know what that means? Number of Apples times number of Pies is twenty four, minus my preexisting friendships plus one for Maud and you makes five from twenty four is... [deep breath] nineteen new friendships! Maud! [squeals]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm so excited to see you, Pinkie Pie. You too, Applejack. I hope you had fun sledding yesterday.
Applejack: How'd you know that?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Isn't it obvious? There are specks of extrusive andesite on your hoof. It's a mountain rock.
Granny Smith: [hushed] Oh, she's good.
Pinkie Pie: How's school going?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] If you thought quartz was high on the Mohs hardness scale, wait 'til I tell you about corundum.
Pinkie Pie: I missed you so much!
Apple family: Mm-hmm.
Applejack: This place looks amazin'!
Pinkie Pie: Come on, everypony! Meet my super-mega-fun-derful family! Everypony, meet everypony!
Igneous Rock: Surely thy name is not but Granny Smith. I am called Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie.
Cloudy Quartz: Thou shalt know me as Cloudy Quartz.
Igneous Rock: May Providence favor thee well, and to thou comfort our humble homestead bring.
Granny Smith: Y'all gabbin' with words real funny-like. Wh-wh-what'd you say them names were? "Iggy"? And I'm just gonna call you "Big Mama Q"!
Limestone Pie: Gaze into the eyes of Limestone Pie. Ma and Pa may own this rock farm, but I keep it running. Cross me and—
Pinkie Pie: Aye aye, Captain Grumpy! No one's gonna mess with your precious mine!
Limestone Pie: Or Holder's Boulder!
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Everypony stay away from Holder's Boulder. There, you happy now?
Applejack: And you must be—
Pinkie Pie: This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who's only a few minutes younger than me but she'll always be a baby to me, isn't that right? She's so excited to meet everypony! Oh, and she wishes you all a happy Hearth's Warming!
[beat]
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm.
Applejack: [hushed, to Apple Bloom] Guess Pinkie Pie always did the talkin' for her.
Apple Bloom: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: [whistles] Attention!
Limestone Pie: What'd I say about the boulder?!
Pinkie Pie: I'll just be a second. Everypony get settled in! There's plenty of room upstairs. And then it's time for Hearth's Warming Eve dinner!
[confetti exploding]
Applejack: [hushed] So far, so good, cousin!
Pinkie Pie: Hee-hee!
[bed springs bouncing]
Apple Bloom: Oh, I can't wait to taste their fresh sweet rolls! They're my favorite part of Hearth's Warmin' Eve dinner.
Granny Smith: I'm more of a six-layer bean dip filly myself!
Apple Bloom: I love that too! Oh, Applejack, do you think theirs'll be even better than ours?
Applejack: Well, that's a mighty tall order, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Pinkie Pie: Are you excited for dinner time? Because guess who is! Spoiler alert – it's me!
[soup pouring]
[splash]
Applejack: What about hot rolls and mulled cider and double-baked pot pie?
Granny Smith: Uh, what about six-layer bean dip?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] We have rock soup.
Pinkie Pie: Potato, po-tah-to. Double-baked pot pie, rock soup! Dinner is dinner. Am I right or am I right?
[beat]
Applejack: Yeah, um, you know what? This is what we were expectin'! Right, everypony?
Big McIntosh and Granny Smith: [uncertain noises]
Applejack: [laughs nervously]
Pinkie Pie: [slurping, exhales] Is everything all right, Applejack?
Applejack: O' course, I'm just being a rusty fiddle. Tune me up and let's get back to dinner. [slurping] [gag, coughs]
Pinkie Pie: More rock, please!
[soup pouring]
Pinkie Pie: Eat up, so we can get to our Hearth's Warming dolls!
Applejack: Now that's somethin' I know all about!
[picking noises]
Pinkie Pie: Who wants a Hearth's Warming doll?
Applejack: Are you sayin' that rock is a Hearth's Warmin' doll?
Pinkie Pie: Don't be silly, silly!
[picking noise]
[crumbling]
Pinkie Pie: Our dolls are these little pieces! Isn't that right, Marble Pie?
[beat]
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm.
[picking noises]
Apple Bloom: Our dolls are... rocks?
[snap]
[crunch]
Applejack: Uh... y'all don't have traditional crocheted dolls passed down in your family?
Pinkie Pie: Aww, you're just a frown factory because you got a weird rock. Cheer up! I'm sure you'll do great in the flag finding mission!
Applejack: The what findin' what now?
Pinkie Pie: Limestone Pie, you're the judge! Big Mac, Marble Pie, you're team one! Apple Bloom and Maud, you're team two! Ma, Pa, you're gonna be with Granny Smith. Don't think of it as team old. Think of it as team three! And I'm with Applejack of course, since we might be cousins!
Applejack: So now that we're all split up, mind tellin' us what we're doin'?
Pinkie Pie: As everypony knows—
Limestone Pie: Stay off Holder's Boulder!
Pinkie Pie: Sheesh. When the three tribes united to form Equestria, the first flag was sewn by Nimble Thimble. It's tradition to raise a flag on Hearth's Warming to celebrate that famous day.
Other ponies: [general agreement]
Pinkie Pie: But who gets to put the flag on Holder's Boulder?
Applejack: You mean on the flagpole?
Pinkie Pie: No, silly, it goes on the highest point! And who's the lucky pony?
Applejack: Traditionally, it's the youngest—
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] On your marks, get set, go!
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, will you please tell us what's goin' on?
Pinkie Pie: I'll explain on the way!
Applejack: [yelps]
Applejack: I still don't understand.
Pinkie Pie: Earlier today, Limestone Pie hid an obsidian stone. Whoever finds it gets to raise the flag!
Applejack: It's all just so... complicated, and... rock-based.
Pinkie Pie: Well, how else would we do it?
Applejack: I don't know. I sure hope everypony else is havin' a better time.
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm.
Big McIntosh: Eeeeeeeeeyup.
Granny Smith: So, how'd you meet this Iggy feller?
Cloudy Quartz: We were chosen by the Pairing Stone and betrothed within a fortnight.
Igneous Rock: The choosing stone decreed, "Thou shalt love one another." And lo, it was so.
Granny Smith: Hoo-wee, I gots to look into this oldfangled choosin' stone thing. You reckon it knows any apple-farmin' hunks?
Igneous Rock: Indeed so.
Cloudy Quartz: [simultaneously] Mmm.
Apple Bloom: What does the rock look like?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It looks like something that formed when volcanic lava cooled quickly.
Apple Bloom: Oh.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Have you ever wished you could turn into a rock?
Apple Bloom: I had a dream once I was an apple.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] We have a lot in common when it comes to thinking about turning into things.
Pinkie Pie: Found it, found it, found it!
Applejack: A picture? I've been lookin' for a real stone, Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Um, that would be weird. Do you know what this means? I get to raise the flag, and now it's time to hide the presents!
Applejack: Y'all hide your presents?
Pinkie Pie: Of course! What's more fun than getting a present? Finding a present! Although, most years, nopony finds one.
Applejack: So nopony gets presents?
Pinkie Pie: Eh, not usually.
Applejack: So lemme get all this straight. You're only allowed to eat rock soup for dinner, then the pony who finds this rock gets to raise the flag, but not really 'cause you don't got no flagpole, and to top it off, you don't even get presents?!
Pinkie Pie: Well, it doesn't sound very fun when you say it that way.
Applejack: Well, how 'bout you picture this? Both our families, openin' presents, raisin' the flag...?
Pinkie Pie: Picturing it... Loving it...!
Pinkie Pie: Goodnight, everypony!
Applejack: Goodnight, Pinkie Pie! [hushed] We've gotta do somethin', y'all! Pinkie Pie's family never had a real Hearth's Warmin'!
Granny Smith: Is that really what she said?
Applejack: Well, I-I'm sure it's what she meant.
Apple Bloom: These are their traditions.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: [sighs] I know they have their traditions and we have ours, but I just want them to see how much better theirs could be.
[rooster crows]
Pinkie Pie: Hearth's Warming!
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Hearth's Warming, Hearth's Warming! Hearth's Warming, Hearth's Warming! Hearth's Warming, Hearth's— [strangles out]
Igneous Rock: Oh, my. Oh, my.
Limestone Pie: What. Happened. To. My. Farm!
Applejack: It's Hearth's Warmin', Apple-style! We've been doin' everythin' your way, I thought we could mix it up a bit! Marble Pie, you could raise the Equestria flag up this pole, because you're the youngest Pie! Ma and Pa Pie, we'll cook you up a meal you'll never forget! And look, we all get presents without havin' to find 'em!
Pinkie Pie: ...Yeah, this is gonna be great! All the stuff she's said. Right, everypony?
Igneous Rock: Pinkamena Diane Pie! Truly thou cannot favor this madness!
Pinkie Pie: Well, I wanna be one big family!
Limestone Pie: But what about what we usually do?!
Pinkie Pie: I, um, well, I-I don't know! [tearing up] Don't make me choose!
Applejack: I didn't mean to cause a fuss... Why don't we just open presents around the flag pole? It'll be fun, you'll see!
Maud Pie: Excuse me. You planted your pole on a fault line.
[rumbling, cracking, thud]
Limestone Pie: Nooooooooooooooo!
[crunch]
Applejack: Oh, boy.
[bell ringing]
Pinkie Pie: You didn't have to ask them to leave!
Limestone Pie: They wanted to go! We don't need anypony forcing their way into our family!
Pinkie Pie: This was all a misunderstanding, everypony! I know Applejack, and she'd never do anything bad to anypony!
Limestone Pie: Look around, Pinkie Pie! It's gonna take me ages to get this rock farm back on track! And how are we gonna lift Holder's Boulder?! This is all her fault!
Pinkie Pie: Then it's my fault too...
[thud]
Granny Smith: Prob'ly best if we head back to Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe in time we'll be friends again, but for the now it's best if we give them a little space.
Apple Bloom: I wish we didn't have to. I really like Maud. She's sweet once you get to know her. They all are. Worst Hearth's Warmin' ever.
Granny Smith: Eh, has anypony seen Applejack?
Applejack: [sniffling] I really cracked the corn this time.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffling] I really popped the piñata this time.
Applejack: Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] What are you doing here?
Applejack: What are you doin' here?
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously] I came here to think! You did? So did I! [laughing] Aww.
Applejack: I'm too ashamed to go back up there. Your family, my family, they all must think I'm such a nincompoop.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, no one thinks that! Pushy, aggressive, mean... Oh, I'm not helping. Sorry.
Applejack: I'm sorry I forced my traditions over yours. I don't want you to have to choose between the family you were born into and the friends who love you like one. I really hoped we could be one big happy family. I guess not.
Pinkie Pie: Don't say that!
[train whistle blows]
Applejack: I wish I could stay, but I have a train to catch.
Pinkie Pie: [crying] H-Ha... Happy Hearth's Warming.
Applejack: [tearing up] You too.
[train noises]
Granny Smith: You want to know why Holder's Boulder's so danged important? [exhales] Well, now their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Holder Cobblestone – he found that boulder in a dragon's nest, older than time itself! He built the family farm around it, even though it was just an ordinary rock. It always brought them good luck.
Applejack: Aw, crickets! That is important! I got so caught up in the things they were doin', I never asked why they did 'em!
[smack]
Applejack: [reading] To Applejack, from Pinkie Pie. Cousins forever.
Apple Bloom: You just found your first Pie Hearth's Warmin' present ever!
Applejack: [laughing] Only Pinkie Pie could hide a present on a movin' train. ...What a great tradition. [beat] Stop the train!
Pie family: [straining]
Pinkie Pie: [straining] Come on... you... boulder, come on... agh!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm pushing as hard as I can too.
Pie family: [straining]
Limestone Pie: Rrrgh, it's hopeless!
Applejack: Need a little help?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Apples!
Limestone Pie: What do you want?!
Applejack: I wasn't tryin' to take your traditions away, I was tryin' to share ours. I was so focused on us bein' one big happy family, I thought we needed the same traditions right away. What I should've done was learn about yours and teach you about ours. And over time, we'd make new traditions together. I'm sorry, y'all.
[beat]
Limestone Pie: Well, don't just stand there! We got a boulder to move! And I'm in charge.
Apple family and Pie family: [straining]
Pinkie Pie: I think we've just invented our first combined tradition! Pushing Holder's Boulder out of the quarry! [squeals] I can't wait for Applejack to knock it over next Hearth's Warming!
Apple family and Pie family: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: [swallows]
Pinkie Pie: Marble Pie, you want to wish Big Mac a happy Hearth's Warming, don't you! And you too, right, Big Mac?
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm!
Big McIntosh: [short giggle] Eeyup.
Granny Smith: Eh, lemme see here, uh... 'If thou ask-eth me, uh, thou two art, eh, okay-eth in my book'.
Igneous Rock: 'Yee-haw'.
[paper ripping]
Pinkie Pie: Happy Hearth's Warming!
Applejack: Happy Hearth's Warmin', Pinkie Pie.
Apple Bloom: Attention, everypony! Maud wants to sing some Hearth's Warmin' carols that she wrote!
Apple family and Pie family: [various cheers]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] The first one is about rocks. They're all about rocks. [reading, deadpan] Hearth's Warming is great. Like calcium silicate. What a wonderful day. As good as mica or clay.
[carol-type music plays over credits]

Scare Master

[shades closing]
[windows clattering]
Fluttershy: Fuzzy Legs, do you think you could secure those windows?
[webs shooting]
[windows close]
Fluttershy: And you'll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage?
[birds squawk]
Fluttershy: Oh, who am I kidding? When something scary comes close to the cottage! Please tell me my hiding place is ready.
Harry: [growls]
Fluttershy: Oh, look, you've filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night. Thank you. Thank you all! Now I don't have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.
[bucket clattering]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! You don't have any carrots? Do we have any other fresh veggies you may enjoy?
Angel: [growls]
Fluttershy: Or maybe some hay? But that means I'll need to go out... on Nightmare Night!
[thunder and lightning]
[ponies laughing]
[theme song]
[fireworks]
[eerie sound effects]
Twinkleshine and Amethyst Star: [giggling]
Fluttershy: [screams]
Foals: [singsongy] Nightmare Night, what a fright! Give me something sweet to bite!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Foals: [singsongy] Nightmare Night, what a fright! Give me something sweet to bite!
Granny Smith: Fluttershy? What're you doin' out and about? It's Nightmare Night, remember?
Fluttershy: How could I forget? Oh, I don't suppose I could borrow a few pieces of hay from you? I forgot to stock up on food for Angel, and you do seem to have quite a lot.
Granny Smith: We need it for the Apple Family Haunted Maze. [spooky voice] The scariest maze that there ever was. Who knows what lurks inside?
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure I don't.
Granny Smith: Is that a mummified pony that just leaped out at ya?
Fluttershy: I don't know. Is it?
Granny Smith: And what's that crunchin' sound beneath yer hooves? Maybe it's the bones of ponies that didn't make it out alive!
Fluttershy: B-B-B-B-Bones?!
Granny Smith: And are those peeled grapes or a thousand slimy eyeballs starin' at ya from beyond the grave?
Fluttershy: Please tell me they're grapes!
Granny Smith: Oh, I'll never tell. [maniacal laughter]
[thunder and lightning]
Fluttershy: [frightened sobs]
Granny Smith: Huh. I wonder what got stuck in her craw.
[thunder and lightning]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Twilight? Hello? [screams]
Spike: You think it's scary now, just wait until it's done.
Fluttershy: That's okay. I'll take your word for it.
Spike: [grunts] Hey, wait a minute! It's Nightmare Night and you're here and not holed up in your cottage! Does this mean what I think it means?
Fluttershy: That I foolishly forgot to stock up on food for Angel and had to go out to get him something but got spooked in town so I came here hoping Twilight had some lettuce I could give him?
Spike: Oh. I thought maybe you decided to come out with us tonight.
Fluttershy: Goodness, no! I couldn't be out tonight. I just couldn't.
Spike: Technically speaking, you already are out right now.
Fluttershy: Oh. I guess that is true.
Spike: So what if you stayed out a little longer with your friends? I know they'd be super excited.
Fluttershy: You think so?
Spike: You would make them so happy if you joined in. They wouldn't believe their eyes! Come on, Fluttershy, what do you say?
[distant laughter]
Pinkie Pie: And then it got very, very quiet and suddenly they realized the balloons had never been inflated!
All but Pinkie Pie: [scream, laugh]
Rarity: Did I ever tell you about the night that the mannequin came to life and haunted all the costumes?
Rainbow Dash: What happened?
Rarity: I just told you, darling. A mannequin came to life and haunted all the costumes.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals]
Fluttershy: Hi, everypony.
All but Fluttershy: [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?
Fluttershy: Everything is fine. In fact, it's more than fine. I've decided to join you in your Nightmare Night festivities.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Seriously? You? Out? Tonight?
Fluttershy: Every Nightmare Night, I shut myself in my cottage and refuse to come out until morning. But it's just like when I was afraid to sing in front of anypony. If I hadn't given it a try, I never would've found out how much I enjoy it.
Applejack: And we'd have missed out on how great you sound.
Rarity: Fluttershy with us on Nightmare Night? Why, that's positively the most wonderful news I've heard in ages!
Pinkie Pie: You can get dressed up in a costume with us and play Nightmare Night games with us and eat candy apples with us!
Applejack: Don't forget the best part. Goin' through my family's corn maze!
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Fluttershy: Oh, right. The maze.
Applejack: Uh, only if you're up for it.
Fluttershy: Oh, I am! I am ready to take on Nightmare Night!
All but Fluttershy: [cheering]
Fluttershy: [shuddering] [giggles] Just practicing. [nervous laugh]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Rarity: Mummy? No. Headless pony? No. Vampire fruit bat? Ugh, definitely no. You see, Fluttershy, the beauty of Nightmare Night is that you don't have to dress up as something scary.
[smack]
Rarity: Ooh! Yes. This one will look gorgeous on you. Period costumes are all the rage this year. What? No good?
Fluttershy: What if we encounter something terrifying and need to get away quickly? All those layers could slow me down, or worse, make me trip!
Rarity: Oh. I never... considered that. Never fear!
[smack]
Rarity: [hums] Ooh, now this is a real stunner! I call it "Masquerade"! Just a simple black dress underneath but with this ornately decorated mask!
Fluttershy: A mask?
Rarity: No?
Fluttershy: They can just be so difficult to see out of.
Rarity: Yes, but this one has eyeholes.
Fluttershy: W-What about being able to see what's to the left or right of me?
Rarity: I suppose your vision would be somewhat obscured. It's your first Nightmare Night out and about, and we do want you to be comfortable.
Fluttershy: What if I just wear the dress?
Rarity: Oh, sure, dear. That's... fine. [to herself] It's so plain, it's frightening. [out loud] Oh, my! Look at all of you! My costumes fit you to a T!
Applejack: Hoo-wee, we're gonna have the best time!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Fluttershy, where's your costume?
Fluttershy: I'm wearing it.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I get it! You're a robber escaping into the night! You're a ninja escaping into the night! You're black licorice escaping into the night!
Fluttershy: Close. I'm going to a masquerade ball. Without the mask.
[bonk]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, that's great! Isn't it great?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah.
Pinkie Pie: So creative.
Applejack: Great costume.
Pinkie Pie: I figured I'd save the really scary games for next year when Fluttershy's more used to it.
All but Rainbow Dash: Round and round and round you go, where you stop nopony knows!
Pinkie Pie: Okay... go!
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] Good luck beating that, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Well, um, it's just that if I'm blindfolded and somepony were to leap out in front of me, I'd never have the chance to defend myself.
Rarity: That's fine, darling. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Twilight Sparkle: We're just glad you're here.
Pinkie Pie: We don't have to finish that game. I have another one I know you'll love! Bobbing for apples!
[splash]
Fluttershy: [gulps]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, what's wrong?
Fluttershy: It's just that, um... What happens if, when my head is deep down in the water, some kind of scary monster appears? How would I even hear to know I was under attack?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Time for candy!
Fluttershy: It is?
Pinkie Pie: I made candy bags. Each bag has been made with each of you in mind, complete with each of your favorite candies!
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Awesome!
Pinkie Pie: Here. Take it. Take it! What are you waiting for?
Fluttershy: Well, it's just... What if when I'm eating one of these chewy taffies, my mouth becomes glued shut and I can't scream for help?
[beat]
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness. We've only just started to celebrate Nightmare Night together, and I'm already taking all the fun out of it, aren't I?
Pinkie Pie: You're not taking out all of the fun.
Rainbow Dash: Just, like, ninety per—
[clang]
Rainbow Dash: ...Some of it.
Fluttershy: I really wanna do this. But there's just so many things that terrify me about tonight. I couldn't possibly predict what might upset me.
Twilight Sparkle: Unless... you were the one doing the scaring!
Rainbow Dash: Her scaring us? [laughing] Oh. You're being serious.
Twilight Sparkle: The thing you hate is being scared, but if you're the one doing the scaring, then...
Fluttershy: Then I can help you all have fun and I can still be a part of Nightmare Night!
Twilight Sparkle: So you like that idea?
Fluttershy: I think I do! And I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think I have the perfect idea for how I'm gonna do it!
Pinkie Pie: Really? Oh, this is so exciting!
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Meet me at my cottage in an hour. [normal voice] Oh, I'm excited to see everypony soon!
[knocking at door]
[door creaks]
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Welcome to Fluttershy's tea party!
Rainbow Dash: Did she just say "tea party"?
Twilight Sparkle: It sounds like it's a scary tea party?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] Have a seat. Don't be scared of what awaits you. Go on. Pass the sugar. Oh, no! There is none! You're a terrible host! Rarity, put your coat on!
Rarity: Why would I do that?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] You need to cover up because no one has complimented your dressssssss! Pinkie Pie, look to your left and ask your best friend to pass the cucumber sandwiches!
Pinkie Pie: Huh? I can't. There's nopony there.
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] That's right. Because she didn't care to show uuuuuup.
Pinkie Pie: What?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] A friend who didn't come through. That must scare you to the coooore. Quick, everypony, look behind you!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what are those?
Fluttershy: [spooky voice] They're unplanned guests. Your woooorst nightmare. You don't have enough food for them! Oh, no! There's a tiny kitten that needs a home! But you are over-scheduled right now. You don't have time to help! I said, "You don't have time to help!" This should appear to scare you! [normal voice] Why don't you look terrified? You showed up to a party and everypony was extremely disappointed in you. Can you imagine anything more upsetting?
Rarity: It was a really good try, darling, but the scares at Nightmare Night are of an entirely different nature.
Twilight Sparkle: It was really creative, though. I never would have thought of... all this.
[thunk]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm just not cut out for this. Just go on without me.
Rarity: Oh, no. We couldn't possibly.
Fluttershy: You have to. This is the night you look forward to all year.
Pinkie Pie: We could... stay here?
Fluttershy: It's okay. I really want you all to have fun. This is how I spend every Nightmare Night. Please go. I'll be fine.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, it's funny. I actually thought she had an idea for something really scary for a second there.
Applejack: She definitely tried her hardest.
[door closes]
Fluttershy: I did try my hardest.
Angel: [thumping on table]
Fluttershy: Or... maybe not. I suppose I could have gone with something a bit scarier. You're right! I've been taking baby steps! I think it's time for grown up ones! I don't suppose you have any ideas how I could do that?
Angel: [growls mischievously]
Applejack: Everypony's linin' up for the corn maze, y'all! Let's go!
Spike: Oh, yeah! I can't believe we're finally doin' this!
[horse whinnies]
All: [scream, laugh]
Rainbow Dash: It's a good thing Fluttershy isn't here because she would never be able to handle this!
[distant screams]
All: [gasp]
Big McIntosh: Boooo... Eeyup.
All: [laugh]
[crackling]
Rarity: What. Is. That. Sound?
Pinkie Pie: It looks like... bones!
All: [scream]
Rainbow Dash: Looks like a bunch of dried sticks painted white to me.
Applejack: Hey, try to keep up the illusion, would ya?
Rarity and Spike: Gah!
All: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie: Whoo!
[whoosh]
Applejack: Agh! What was that?
Spike: Don't you know?
Applejack: Uh, o-of course I do. It was, uh...
[ghostly moans]
[peeyow!]
All: [scream]
[moaning continues]
Rarity: [grunts] Fluttershy had a point with the layers on the dress.
[moaning continues]
Applejack: [exclaims]
All: [yell]
[thud]
All: [groan]
Rarity: What is this? Is it a tunnel? Where does it lead?!
[grinding]
[slam]
Twilight Sparkle: Which way are we supposed to go now?!
Applejack: Uh, I don't know! I don't know what's goin' on!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] What do you mean? Didn't you help plan this?
[creaking chair]
Applejack: Whew. There's Granny Smith. Not that I was ever scared, 'cause I wasn't. I'm a pretty good actress when I wanna be. Granny? [screams]
All: [scream] [panting]
[crash]
Spike: Applejack, didn't you know about any of this?!
Applejack: Alright, I got to admit I didn't know about any of this, but maybe they're just tryin' to make it interestin' for me, too! I'm sure Granny Smith or Big Mac is behind this.
Granny Smith: [muffled] Are those peeled grapes or eyeballs starin' at ya from beyond the grave? [cackling]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [playful scream]
Applejack: [teeth chatter] That's what we were supposed to do! I don't know why we're down here! This is really scarin' me now!
Pinkie Pie: [teeth chattering]
[foot stomps]
Monster: [growls]
Pinkie Pie: How did that get down here?!
Monster: [roars]
Rainbow Dash: RUUUUUUUUUN!
Pinkie Pie and Spike: [panting] [grunt]
Pinkie Pie: I can't see!
Rainbow Dash: I can barely move!
All: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: It's like glue!
All: [grunting]
Monster: [roaring]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[teleportation zap]
Monster: [growls]
All: [panicked screams]
Flutterbat: [deep cackles] [snarls]
All: [whimpering]
Fluttershy: Oh, my! I'm so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Applejack: Fluttershy?
Rainbow Dash: It was you the whole time?!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it!
Rarity: That... was...
Pinkie Pie: THE BEST THING EVER! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: It was way more terrifying than the most terrifying thing I could have thought of!
Applejack: You out-nightmared the scariest part of the corn maze!
Twilight Sparkle: How did you do all this?!
Fluttershy: After you left, I realized that I wasn't ready to give up on Nightmare Night. So I asked Granny Smith if I could try to make the maze even scarier for my friends.
Rainbow Dash: You came up with all of this?
Fluttershy: I had some help. Angel was the scary figure that kept scurrying after you in the maze. Fuzzy Legs made the sticky wall that made it difficult for you to see and move. And, of course, Harry was the especially scary monster.
Harry: [growls happily]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! That was inspired!
Pinkie Pie: You have to do this every year!
Applejack: Uh-huh!
Rarity: Absolutely!
Twilight Sparkle: Every year!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Fluttershy: We could celebrate Nightmare Night together every year. But the truth is I really don't want to.
Pinkie Pie: You don't?!
Rarity: But you've done it. You found a way that we can all have a fabulous time together.
Fluttershy: Yes, but I've also realized something. You all may love Nightmare Night and I may be good at being a part of it, but it's no fun for me to see my friends feel like they're in danger, even if I know they're not. I really don't like it. It's just not my cup of tea.
Pinkie Pie: Spoooooooooky tea?
Fluttershy: No. Just regular tea. We do lots of fun things together, but I'm afraid this just isn't gonna be one of them. Actually, I'm not afraid. I'm perfectly fine with it.
Twilight Sparkle: Then we are, too.
Harry: [growls happily]
[bats squeaking]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I don't know why I doubted myself for a second. Now this is what I call a perfect Nightmare Night.
[credits]

What About Discord?

Spike: [sighs] Didn't we just shelve all the books in the library a few months ago?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but that was because we needed to! This is just because I want to! I call it my "book-sort-cation"! Three uninterrupted days of reorganizing books. Can you think of anything more relaxing?
Spike: Well, claw massages, back rubs, bubble baths... You weren't really looking for an answer, were you?
Twilight Sparkle: I've even devised a better system for organizing them. It decreases the amount of time it takes to find a book you're looking for by nearly three quarters of a second!
Spike: [flatly] Whoa. That much?
Twilight Sparkle: Look at them all. Why, there must be at least twenty thousand books to organize!
Owlowiscious: [hoots]
Twilight Sparkle: Best long weekend ever! I'm sure we can make some time for a claw massage and a back rub too.
Spike: Yes! Best long weekend ever!
[theme song]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales]
Spike: Whoa! That strange yellow orb in the sky! What is that?
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, alright, so it's been a little while since we've seen the sun.
Spike: A little while? We've been in that library for three straight days!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but they were three very productive days! Even if you did take that two-hour claw massage break.
Spike: Hey, you promise a claw massage, I'm getting a claw massage.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not like we missed anything.
[crash]
Rainbow Dash and Discord: Hello, Twilight! Hi, Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Rainbow Dash. Good to see you, Discord.
Spike: Did you rehearse before you found us?
Rainbow Dash and Discord: What makes you think we practiced?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Rainbow Dash. What's going on here?
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] Sorry. Me and Discord are just messin' around. Like we do.
Twilight Sparkle: Since when?
Discord: Oh, Twilight. We simply had a momentous time together these past three days. You could say it was... "hiss-terical"! [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] Sneaky snake!
Discord: [laughing] Just snaking around!
Rainbow Dash: Good one, Discord! [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: It is?
Rainbow Dash: Kind of an inside joke from this weekend. You wouldn't really get it unless you were there.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Okay.
Rainbow Dash: Cool. Well, uh, catch you later, Twilight!
Discord: [laughing] Catch you later, Twilight.
[whirling]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: That was strange, right? Since when have Rainbow Dash and Discord had inside jokes?
Spike: Since sometime in the last three days, I guess.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! Nopony made you join me on my book-sort-cation.
Spike: I'm jokin', I'm jokin'!
[door opens, bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity?
Rarity: [gasps] Twilight! You've returned from your book sorting sabbatical! All that organizing has done wonders for your complexion!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks! It was very relaxing. And we were able to clear a shelf for those old-fashioned books you wanted to donate.
Rarity: Oh, pfft, they're not old, darling. They're vintage, and they're over there! I've even included my favorites by former Canterlot designer to the stars Rococo Froufrou!
Spike: Oh, I love her!
Rarity: Him.
Spike: [laughs nervously] Both.
Discord: Twilight! This makes twice I'm seeing you in one day! Aren't I lucky?
Twilight Sparkle: Weren't you just with—
Fluttershy: Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike! How was your book-sort-cation?
Twilight Sparkle: It was good!
Fluttershy: [giggles] Orange you glad you did it?
Fluttershy, Rarity, and Discord: [laughing]
Rarity: [within laughter] "Orange you glad"! Oh, Fluttershy, you're a card! [laughing]
Fluttershy: Oh, please. You'll make me blush.
Discord: You do seem to be turning a shade of... [gasps] orange!
Fluttershy and Rarity: [laughing]
Rarity: Oh, sorry, darling. You see, we were at Sweet Apple Acres and, uh, ooh, how to explain...
Discord: Well, let me try and paint her a picture, dearest.
Spike: [to himself] "Dearest"?
Discord: [imitating Bob Ross] You see, we were all at Sweet Apple Acres, and I ended up turning the trees into the most— [normal] Oh, who am I kidding? I simply can't do it justice. You really had to be there.
Fluttershy: We would've invited you to come along too, but we didn't want to interrupt your organizing. We know how important it is to you.
Discord: And I'm sure it was much more important than the fun that we had. [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: I appreciate that... Speaking of books, I should get these on the shelves.
Fluttershy and Rarity: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. Rainbow Dash bonding with Discord, Rarity finding something he did genuinely funny... Must've been some weekend.
Spike: Somepony sorry she missed it?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course not.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: What's got you two in hysterics?
Discord: [gulps] Oh, we were just reminiscing about the best weekend ever!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] He's everywhere today, isn't he?
Discord: Oh, now where was I? Ah, yes, we had just finished our soup, and then Applejack said, [imitating Applejack] "Peanut butter hoof? Yuck, not even with jelly!"
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Eh, I don't get it.
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] It was hilarious! I wish we'd taken a picture for you!
Discord: Oh, well, this should do!
[tapping]
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: I guess that's funny?
Discord: Well, seems this has become quite the... sticky situation! [laughing]
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: [within laughter] Sticky situation!
Applejack: Aw, shucks, Twilight. We haven't even asked how your weekend went.
Twilight Sparkle: It was fine!
Discord: And yet you look so glum. Does somepony need a huggy-wuggy? [babying noises]
[sproing, sproing]
Twilight Sparkle: I am not glum. I'm glad! I'm glad you all had such a good time together. Having inside jokes can really create a lasting bond between friends.
Discord: I'm just sorry that all this bonding happened while you were holed up in your castle.
Applejack: Heh. Oh, don't you worry about Twilight. Bet you were in hog heaven organizin' all them books. Again.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure I had just as much fun as the rest of you.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I missed out on all that bonding!
Spike: [gulps] I knew it! You are jealous!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I'm the Princess of Friendship. I don't get jealous. I'm sorry I missed out because sharing that experience would've helped me with my Princess of Friendship duties!
Spike: [chewing] [mouth full] Come again?
Twilight Sparkle: If our friends could enjoy three full days with Discord that much, it must have something to do with the specific things they did together! If we could find out what those things were, it could be a real breakthrough in the science of friendship!
Spike: Hm. I guess so.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I know so! You thought our book-sort-cation was fun? This is gonna be even better!
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you for coming. I wouldn't have asked you here if it wasn't important.
Pinkie Pie: I love important!
Twilight Sparkle: I want to know how these funny moments you shared came to pass. I can use this data to help advance friendships all over Equestria.
Applejack: Well, I like the sound of that!
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [general agreement]
Twilight Sparkle: Perfect. Let's start with the snake.
Rainbow Dash and Discord: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: I don't know if I can get it out! It's too funny!
Discord: Oh, but we must! It's for the greater good! It started when we were helping Granny Smith with her garden...
[flashback music starts]
Applejack: Uh, I reckon you mean my sister Apple Bloom.
Discord: Eh... All you Apples look the same. And then Rainbow Dash saw a snake!
Fluttershy: I think it was a garden hose.
Rainbow Dash: It was a hose snake. Super deadly.
Applejack: I recall it bein' a large stick that looked like a hose that, in turn, did in fact resemble a snake.
Pinkie Pie: Point is, we galloped away.
Rainbow Dash: And it chased after us!
Twilight Sparkle: The hose? A snake? A stick?
Rainbow Dash: A snake!
Fluttershy: A hose!
Applejack: A stick!
Discord: We literally trotted for our lives. Isn't that hilarious?
Fluttershy: I guess you had to be there.
Twilight Sparkle: I do need to be there.
Rarity: But you weren't! And it's already happened! Ooh, are you suggesting...
Pinkie Pie: Time travel?!
[Back to the Future theme plays]
Twilight Sparkle: Absolutely not! Time travel is not something to be messed with. We simply need to recreate everything that led to these jokes.
Discord: Oh, what a brilliant idea! Shall we begin with the lunch date that kicked off the glorious weekend you missed out on?
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure it was this table?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, does it really matter?
Twilight Sparkle: When it comes to science, everything matters. One change to the equation could ruin the experiment.
Discord: Ohhhhhh... it was this table here.
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, so you sat down at the table, and then what happened?
Rarity: Oh, well, first I expressed my displeasure with the design of the menu. It—
Discord: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just noticed something.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes?
Discord: The tablecloth. It isn't the same color as the one the restaurant used on the day in question.
Twilight Sparkle: ...Really?
Rarity: He's right! The tablecloth was red! I remember because it clashed with the font on the menus.
Applejack: I don't suppose that means we're gonna need to get a new tablecloth, does it?
Discord: Oh, most definitely.
[magic sparkles]
Fluttershy: Ooh.
Pinkie Pie: Wowee!
Discord: One change to the equation could ruin the experiment. Twilight said so herself. Anything stand out as being different? Anything at all?
Fluttershy: Um, I've noticed a couple of things.
Pinkie Pie: Me too!
Discord: Excellent!
[magic zap]
Discord: A little to the left! No, my left! A little bit more... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, a little more right!
Pinkie Pie: The cloud over our table looked like an ice cream sundae!
[stretching]
Pinkie Pie: Perfect!
[slide whistle ascending and descending]
Discord: No-no-no-no-no, this is barely room temperature! Garçon! Garçon, over here!
[tapping]
Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Discord: No? Nothing?
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure there's not something you've missed? Some other detail about your lunch together that you're forgetting?
Discord: Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel we've been pretty exhaustive in our attempts to recreate every single detail of our previous encounter.
Mane cast sans Twilight Sparkle: [general agreement]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, Twilight. If you don't get it by now, I don't think you're ever gonna get it.
Twilight Sparkle: But it is really important that I figure this out. It's for the good of all Equestria!
[ticker tape machine whirring]
Discord: Well, perhaps we should have another look at the data we've collected. [gasps] Of course! There is one last variable that we haven't accounted for.
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Discord: You!
Twilight Sparkle: Me?
Discord: You weren't there observing us. No matter how hard we try, we can't possibly recreate our weekend of fun exactly as it happened because you'll always be watching, and you weren't there.
Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm.
Pinkie Pie: He makes a good point.
Discord: It has only served to prove that moments of levity and bonding between friends simply cannot be recreated so that others might share in the experience.
Pinkie Pie: He makes another good point!
Rarity: Oh, don't worry, darling. I'm sure there'll be plenty of other chances for you to share in the kind of [starts giggling] frivolity we had with Discord while you were away.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, and I'll bet they'll be just as hissssss-terical! [laughing]
Discord: [laughing]
Fluttershy: [laughing] Absolutely.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not buying it. Not for a second. There is definitely something else going on here, Spike!
Spike: [gulps] Or maybe there isn't, and you should just drop this whole thing and admit that you're a little jealous!
Twilight Sparkle: Even if I'm not able to laugh at what happened, I should be able to figure out why they find it funny. Why they think they had this amazing and hilarious time together. But I can't figure it out! It doesn't make sense!
Spike: Some things just can't be explained.
Twilight Sparkle: Our friends think something great happened to them while I was away, but no. It was something awful! If we don't break the spell they're under, who knows what terrible things could happen?!
Spike: Spell?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Spike! There's no time to lose!
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora, what do you think? Can you undo Discord's magic?
[powder falling, cauldron bubbling]
Zecora: In what way can you tell that they are indeed under a spell?
Twilight Sparkle: They're having fun with Discord, that's why!
Zecora: Ah. A friendship with Discord is truly a shock. But who says it is something that we must block?
Twilight Sparkle: Trust me, they would never laugh like that unless something magical was involved. It's not that funny. I know funny.
Zecora: Alright. This potion will break the spell, then you will be able to tell.
Spike: Wait. If that's the potion, then what's brewing in your cauldron?
Zecora: It ties the room together and emits a warm glow. But if I am to be honest, it's just for show.
Applejack: [yawns] I wonder why she asked us here so bright and early.
Rarity: Another map adventure, perhaps?
Pinkie Pie: Nope, no glowing tushies here!
Fluttershy: Or maybe it's more of a non-adventure. Maybe she just wants to tell us how last night's slumber went?
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, gang!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, you look excited!
Twilight Sparkle: I am excited! We're gonna have fun today!
Pinkie Pie: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Just one tiny, minuscule, microscopic thing before fun times. I need everypony to sip this potion to break Discord's spell on you!
Applejack: A what now?
Twilight Sparkle: Don't be embarrassed. So what if Discord cast a spell on you so you thought you had a great time, and now you have all these inside jokes that you seem to be constantly laughing at? Don't worry! You didn't have your defenses up. I get it.
[liquid pouring]
Rainbow Dash: You're kidding.
Rarity: Twilight, darling, we simply had a nice time with Discord. As I recall, we spent much of yesterday afternoon reenacting it for you.
[liquid pouring]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. Or you reenacted what you thought was fun but really wasn't because you were under a spell that made you think what happened was fun!
Applejack: What kind of fertilizer have you had your nose in, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Be honest. The only reason you won't drink the potion is because, deep down in your hearts, you know there's a chance that Discord has you under his power!
Fluttershy: Twilight, how could you say such a thing?! I know Discord still makes mistakes sometimes, but you're accusing him of being downright evil!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! And to top it off, you're accusing us of not being able to tell he was up to something! What do you take us for?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! [glug] What do you [glug] take us for?!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Dee-licious! Got any more, Twilight?
[door opens]
Discord: Hi, Twilight! The gang mentioned we'd all be hanging out together today!
[liquid pouring]
Twilight Sparkle: "The gang"?
Discord: Yeah! The peanut-butter-hoof gang! [tapping]
Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] It's still funny!
Applejack: [hushed] So much for that whole "spell" theory.
Discord and main cast sans Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. But it's still not funny!
Rainbow Dash: It's funny if you were there.
Twilight Sparkle: But I wasn't there! I wasn't included! Maybe it's my own fault for staying in and having a book-sort-cation when I could have been making jokes and memories and having a great time with my friends! But I didn't do that, did I?! You all did! You were all there, but—! [sighs] I wasn't there. I missed out. And seeing you having all these jokes I wasn't a part of and couldn't understand made me...
Spike: Jealous?
Twilight Sparkle: No. The Princess of Friendship can't get jealous.
Applejack: Sure you can, Twilight, and none of us begrudge you for it.
Fluttershy: We're sorry if we made you feel left out.
Twilight Sparkle: You didn't do anything wrong. You're allowed to share things that don't include me.
Rarity: And you're allowed to feel a little jealous about it. You just have to be able to admit that that's what you're feeling so you can let it go.
Rainbow Dash: And, you know, not try to make us recreate everything that happened when you weren't around.
[magic zap]
Discord: Of course none of this would've happened if I hadn't encouraged everypony not to invite you this weekend.
Twilight Sparkle: They wanted me to be there? And you convinced them to not invite me?
Discord: Well, I didn't think that they should interrupt you. But now I see that we should have. Oh, I feel just terrible.
Pinkie Pie: You don't look like you feel terrible.
Discord: Better?
Applejack: Wait a minute. You didn't suggest not inviting Twilight because you wanted to make her feel left out, did you?
Discord: Of course not. That whole jealousy thing was just a happy accident.
[magic zap]
Discord: Certainly we can all agree that Princess Twilight learned a valuable lesson here – that even she can have feelings of jealousy, that she should recognize said feelings rather than trying to pretend that she doesn't have them. Mm-hmm. Did I get the tiniest bit of glee out of watching her try to recreate our weekend of fun in the name of science? Oh, most definitely! But what's important here is that it was never my intent to make Twilight feel jealous. That's something that the old me would have tried to do. Orange you glad I've changed?
[long beat]
Discord: I said, Orange you glad I've changed?
[myriad thumps]
Pinkie Pie: [coughs]
Discord: Orange! Like the ones at the Applejack farm! I-I mean, from this weekend!
[beat]
Discord: No? Nothing? Really? I thought you'd find this hisss-terical!
[rattlesnake tail rattling]
Rarity: ...Yes, no. Discord, I think these jokes have run their course.
Pinkie Pie: Only way we'd find them funny now is if you put us all under some kind of spell!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, you'd have to be a complete crazy pony to think he'd do something like that! What are you gonna say next, Pinkie? That we all have to drink some weird potion to break the spell?
Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Discord: W-W-What's so funny?
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Discord, do we really have to spell it out for you?
Main cast: [laughing, continues under]
Discord: I-I-I don't get it. Somepony want to tell me what's so hilarious? Anypony? Hello?!
[magic zap]
Discord: I'm talking to you! You! And-and you and you! W-W-What's funny about spells? I mean, really, I don't get it, I feel left out and I feel really bad about that...
Spike: Sorry, buddy. Guess you had to be there.
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
Main cast and Discord: [laughing]
[credits]

The Hooffields and McColts

Fluttershy: Does everyanimal have their copy of Wuthering Hooves? Hooray! I love Furry Friends Book Club! Now, let's discuss the theme of nature as it applies to Hoofcliff's love.
[cutie mark ringing]
Fluttershy: Did somepony leave a light on? Oh, it's me. Oh! It's me!
[shimmering and whooshing]
Fluttershy: We'll continue this discussion when I get back!
[door closes]
Animals: [chattering]
[theme song]
[shimmering and whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: You're here!
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Isn't this exciting?!
[cutie mark ringing]
Fluttershy: Oh! You were called, too! Thank goodness. I feel so much better going with a friend.
Twilight Sparkle: I was about to come and get you, but then I got distracted.
[doors open]
Fluttershy: Oh.
Twilight Sparkle: Ever since the map called us, I've been doing a ton of research.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Testing out potential friendship problems.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Diversifying my solution portfolio.
Fluttershy: Ever since the map called us? But that happened five minutes ago.
Twilight Sparkle: I know! But I wanna be one hundred percent prepared! I mean, I'm the Princess of Friendship. How would it look if I couldn't solve a friendship problem?
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so lucky I'm being sent with you. Speaking of which, where are we going?
Twilight Sparkle: The Smokey Mountains!
Fluttershy: Oh, I've never been there before.
Twilight Sparkle: Neither have I. And there isn't a lot of information on them. All I could find was this. The Smokey Mountains harbor the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria between its two majestic mountain peaks.
Fluttershy: That's gorgeous. And where there's nature, there's a ton of animal friends!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait to get started! I'm a little nervous since that's all I could find. I usually like to be a bit more prepared.
Fluttershy: You seem pretty prepared to me. Are those for us?
Twilight Sparkle: Yep! I've prepared our things. Snacks, books, blankets, books.
Fluttershy: You said "books" twice.
Twilight Sparkle: There are a lot of books.
Fluttershy: Ooh!
Twilight Sparkle: What do ya think our friendship problem's gonna be?
Fluttershy: [struggling] I don't know. [grunts] But I'm sure we'll figure it out. [grunting, panting]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you think it'll be a problem about lying?
Fluttershy: [grunts] I'm sure we'll find out when we get there.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right.
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! Could it be about when two friends just randomly decide to do something together, but they forget to invite the third friend, and the third friend feels left out?
Twilight Sparkle: Or where one friend tells another friend's secret after they asked them not to?
Fluttershy: [exhausted] We'll know very, very soon. Since we're almost there.
Fluttershy: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Here. Lemme get that.
Fluttershy: [sighs] Thank you.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry I've been a little skiddly-bopty-boo. I just can't believe this is finally happening!
[pumpkins firing]
Fluttershy: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! What in Equestria is happening?
[pumpkin firing]
Fluttershy: It's nothing like your book said it would be!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, boy. I'm feeling very unprepared. Where do we even start?
[pumpkin firing]
Fluttershy: Maybe by figuring out where the flying pumpkins are coming from?
Ma Hooffield: Ready... Aim... Fire!
[pumpkin firing]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, hi. Hello. Excuse us, but what are you doing?
Ma Hooffield: We're pumpkinin' our neighbors!
Fluttershy: Yes, but, um, why are you... "pumpkining" your neighbors?
Ma Hooffield: Well, because the McColts are just plain rotten. Hey, wait a tick. Who are you two?! You're not spies for the McColts, are ya?
Twilight Sparkle: I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. And I am here to solve your friendship problem.
Fluttershy: I'm Fluttershy, and... um... I'm here, too.
Ma Hooffield: Ma Hooffield. Pleased to meet ya, but you're wastin' your time. We don't have a friendship problem. We have... a McColt problem.
"Buzzard Hooffield": And there's absolutely no friendship there.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe there could be if we figure out what the McColts did to make you so mad.
Ma Hooffield: Oh, they done so many things. Why, just today, they shot pebbles at our farmhouse an' wrecked it. See, we're not very good at buildin', so all it took was a little pebble. But still!
Mice: [squeaking]
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
Twilight Sparkle: I know what to do. We're gonna talk with these McColts and hear their side of the story. Once we have all the facts, we can put an end to this using reason and rationale.
Fluttershy: Good plan. [to mice] That's why she's the princess.
Twilight Sparkle: In the meantime, could you please call off the pumpkining?
Ma Hooffield: Oh, alright.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks. C'mon, Fluttershy.
[knock on door]
"Steel Bolts": State your business!
"Rosy Riveter": Don't even bother. They're probably spies for the Hooffields.
"Steel Bolts": Hey, wait! You're an Alicorn! I thought just the three princesses were Alicorns.
Twilight Sparkle: There are four Alicorn princesses in Equestria now. I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.
Fluttershy: And I'm Fluttershy.
"Steel Bolts": We have a new princess? When did that happen? A-A-And how did the Hooffields come by a princess spy?
Twilight Sparkle: We are not spies! [to Fluttershy] Why does everypony assume we're spies?
[gate unlocking]
Big Daddy McColt: Because we don't get a lot of visitors. I'm Big Daddy McColt. You caught us at a weird time. We're in the middle of a giant feud with our... Terrible neighbors!
[echoes]
[birds squawking]
[farmhouse collapses]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, actually, that's why we're here – to solve your problem with the Hooffields.
Big Daddy McColt: So you're here to help us get rid of 'em.
McColts: [whooping, hollering]
Twilight Sparkle: No! That's not what I meant at all!
Big Daddy McColt: Well, if you ain't fer us, you're agin' us.
Twilight Sparkle: We are not on anypony's side. We're here to help you become friends again.
Big Daddy McColt: Well, that's gon' be hard. I don't believe we've ever been friends with the Hooffields!
Twilight Sparkle: But you could be! They're just really upset you ruined their farmhouse.
Big Daddy McColt: Wait a hog-wogglin' minute! We only did that because the Hooffields pulled the pin out of our wagon wheel!
[wagon collapses]
Big Daddy McColt: A whole week's worth of food rollin' down the mountain. Us McColts are mighty fine builders, but we don't know the first thing about farmin'.
McColts: [whickering]
Big Daddy McColt: We have to travel a ways away to buy our food. Now, we'll be stuck eatin' the pumpkins the Hooffields launched at us. Pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin [mispronounced] quesadillas, pumpkin paella, pumpkin cheese, pumpkin pie, pumpkin frittatas... Actually, that all sounds pretty good. But it'll get old!
[squirrel squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Have you tried meeting at a neutral location, talking about your problems, and really listening to each other?
Big Daddy McColt: What?! No! They'd sooner launch their dinners at us than listen to us.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, they'll listen to me. I'm an impartial third party.
Twilight Sparkle: [voice amplified] Attention, Hooffields and McColts! I'm not on anypony's side, but I can see you're both wasting time and resources on being mean to each other. Ponies are supposed to help each other and be kind. So let's stop this senseless fighting! [speaking normally] There. That should do it. Ready to go home, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I'd love to. But if we solved the problem already, shouldn't our cutie marks be glowing again?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, yeah. They should be glowing any minute now...
[beat]
[kersplut]
[kaboom]
[whistling]
Twilight Sparkle: Or not.
[tomatoes splatting]
Twilight Sparkle: So much for potential friendship solution number twenty-eight.
Fluttershy: I guess we should find out why the Hooffields are launching tomatoes now.
Ma Hooffield: One at a time, Greenhoof. If you smoosh them tomaters in the slingshot, they won't break on the McColts.
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing? I asked you to stop fighting.
Ma Hooffield: Oh, is that what you were hollerin' about? We thought the McColts rubbed ya the wrong way. So we tomatered them for ya. My mistake. [to Hooffields] Stop the tomater slingshots!
[hay bales falling]
Ma Hooffield: Reload the tomater slingshots! We're gonna paint their mountaintop red!
Fluttershy: Bleh!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that didn't work. I was so sure it would.
[hay bales falling]
Fluttershy: [gasps] It was a good plan. We need to think of another one. And soon. This fight is really affecting the animals around here.
Twilight Sparkle: Not to worry. I'll just, uh...
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: ...find the root of the problem and work from there.
[kaboom]
Twilight Sparkle: Pardon us, Ma, but do you remember what started this whole feud in the first place?
Ma Hooffield: They know what they did.
Big Daddy McColt: They know what they did!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm starting to think neither of you know what either of you have done.
Big Daddy McColt: Sure, we do. Them Hooffields did us a grave injustice some time ago for some reason.
McColts: Hear, hear!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, backup plan to the backup plan. Maybe we can find some common ground that you can bond over. What do you do when you're not fighting?
Big Daddy McColt: That's easy. Gettin' ready to fight.
Fluttershy: What do you hope to get out of fighting?
Ma Hooffield: The satisfaction of winnin'!
Twilight Sparkle: Of winning what?
[hammering]
Big Daddy McColt: The fight, of course! To prove our family is the best!
Fluttershy: The best at what?
Ma Hooffield: Winnin'! Haven't you been listenin'?!
Twilight Sparkle: So the only thing they have in common is that they both want to win a fight, and neither of them know what it's over. How can I end this feud if I don't know what it's about?
Fluttershy: Ooh! Maybe somepony just needs to say they're sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: That's a good idea. And friendship solution number forty-eight. But we can move it up.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you agreed to do this. This apology cake will go a long way to making amends between you two. Which part of my argument changed your mind? The part where I said the benefits of friendship outweigh the cost of war, or the part where I said forgiveness is an investment in happiness?
Ma Hooffield: Yeah, yeah. All of it.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Are you even listening to me?
"Steel Bolts": Who goes there?!
Ma Hooffield: It's Ma Hooffield.
"Steel Bolts": Hooffield alert! Arm the cannons!
Ma Hooffield: With an apology cake!
"Steel Bolts": Did you say "cake"? As in... [slurps] cake?
Ma Hooffield: Consider it a gesture of goodwill from us to you.
McColt Guards: [slurping]
"Rosy Riveter": I haven't had cake in ages.
"Steel Bolts": Open the gates!
[gates open]
"Hacksaw McColt": [sniffles] Oh, it's such a bee-utiful cake.
Twilight Sparkle: Think of this as more than just a cake. It's the first step in the long road to forgiveness.
Fluttershy: Nothing says "let's be friends" like a cake that says, "Let's be friends!" [hushed] I wrote that in icing on the top.
[cracking]
Hooffields: For glory! Whoa!
Big Daddy McColt: McColts! Assume Delta Force formation!
McColts: Yah!
[both families shouting]
Ma Hooffield: Ready... aim... fire!
[sproing]
[food falling]
Twilight Sparkle: Ma Hooffield, you planted ponies in that cake?!
Ma Hooffield: Yeah! [laughing] Wait. Were you serious about apologizin'? Why in Equestria would we do that? We didn't do anythin' wrong!
Big Daddy McColt: What're you talkin' about?! You done so many things wrong!
Ma Hooffield: Not as many as you!
Ma Hooffield and Big Daddy McColt: [growling]
[both families fighting]
[sounds of fighting]
Fluttershy: Um, if you could just not yell so much or maybe stop saying words altogether...
[sounds of fighting]
[thud]
Fluttershy: Wah! Twilight?
[pages ripping, magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Fluttershy: Um, Twilight? We should probably get back there. I mean, if you need a break, that's fine, but I really can't do this without you.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know if we can do this at all. Even if I make things right, they're just gonna fight again.
[critters chittering]
Fluttershy: Hey, little fellas. Oh, that's okay, you can come out.
[various critters chittering]
[groan]
Twilight Sparkle: What was that?
[critter stomachs rumbling]
Fluttershy: Oh, you poor things! There isn't enough food here for you! Oh, brrr, and you're freezing! I'm gonna take you all home with me and get you all hot cocoas. How do you feel about book clubs?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't get it. This was supposed to be the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria. What happened?
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: What's that? Oh! Uh-huh... Twilight! They know what happened here!
Twilight Sparkle: What?
[sounds of fighting]
Twilight Sparkle: Stop! You have to listen to me!
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony freeze! [echoing out]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining] Fluttershy! You have to tell them! [strains] It's a lot harder to freeze an army of ponies than just six of them!
Fluttershy: [raised voice] Before you keep fighting, there is something you should know! Long ago, there were two best friends...
Fluttershy: [voiceover] ...Grub Hooffield and Piles McColt. When they found the valley between the Smokey Mountains, they knew it was something special. So they made a promise to each other to protect and preserve the valley for all its adorable furry inhabitants. But they disagreed on how to go about it. Grub wanted to start by planting crops so that everypony would have something to eat. But Piles thought it would be better to start by building a shelter to protect them against the cold and wind. The two ponies were unable to come to an understanding, so Piles went ahead and built a shelter anyway, exactly where Grub was gonna start his farm! Grub was upset, so he tore down Piles' shelter so he could plant his crops!
[crash]
Fluttershy: [voiceover] They kept fighting back and forth, until it turned into a feud!
[crunch]
[thud]
[water pouring]
[thud]
[crunch]
[splash]
Fluttershy: [voiceover] The valley suffered from the constant destruction, until finally the Hooffields and McColts moved to separate mountains.
Fluttershy: Even then, the valley and all the animals in it continued to be caught in the crossfire. You see? By fighting, you're destroying the very thing that brought you here in the first place! So it's time you both put your differences aside and come together! If not for yourselves, then for the sake of these cute and cuddly guys!
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
Big Daddy McColt: Aw, shucks, we never meant to hurt you little critters.
Ma Hooffield: Yeah, we're sorry!
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: They say they accept your apology.
[beat]
Big Daddy McColt: Uh, princess? You can unfreeze us now.
Twilight Sparkle: [straining] Oh, right!
[thud]
Big Daddy McColt: Ma Hooffield? We promise we won't fight you no more.
Ma Hooffield: Us too, except we promise not to fight you. I suppose it doesn't matter who's right. We're both wrong.
Big Daddy McColt: That's one thing we can agree on.
Big Daddy McColt and Ma Hooffield: [spits]
[critters chittering]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: This is wonderful! I am so proud of you two!
Ma Hooffield: Aw, thanks, princess. Though I would just like to point out that I was the, uh, first to admit I was wrong.
Big Daddy McColt: That may be, but I promised not to fight first. That counts for more!
Ma Hooffield: Oh, yeah?!
[critters chittering]
Ma Hooffield: Oh, all right. We don't have to speak animal to know what y'all are sayin'. Truce?
Big Daddy McColt: Truce.
[sounds of work and critters chittering]
Big Daddy McColt: Woo-hoo! Ain't that a pretty sight?
Ma Hooffield: Sure is! The McColts are gonna help us rebuild our homes! Good ones this time.
Big Daddy McColt: And the Hooffields are gonna help us grow some crops!
"Steel Bolts": Not pumpkins.
Ma Hooffield: Thanks for teachin' us that friendship is so much better than winnin' a silly argument.
[cutie marks ringing]
Fluttershy: Yay! I told you we'd figure it out.
Twilight Sparkle: We did, and we didn't need my friendship portfolio to do it. We just needed each other. So, what do you think will happen next? We've all been called by the map now.
Fluttershy: Oof! [straining] I'm sure we'll find out when we get home...
Twilight Sparkle: What if it summons all six of us to another place? Or another pony we weren't expecting? [gasps] What if it wants us to solve other kinds of problems, like quantum physics, or why the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
[country music plays over credits]

The Mane Attraction

[various creaking and squeaking sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Applejack! Are you sure you've never managed a concert before?
Applejack: Well, it turns out doin' up a concert's the same as settin' up a rodeo.
Twilight Sparkle: And thanks to Pinkie's connections organizing the Ponypalooza Rock Concert, we've got quite a lineup for the Helping Hooves Music Festival.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Rarity! Fluttershy! Spike! Pinkie Pie! Oh wait, that's me. Everypony!
Twilight Sparkle: What is it, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: I have the most amazing news ever! It is totally gonna freak your frizz!
Rainbow Dash: Well, spill it, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: It wasn't easy. In fact, it was terribly difficult. But I have managed to book the biggest pony pop star in all of Equestria as the main attraction of the Helping Hooves Music Festival!
Applejack: Sapphire Shores?
Pinkie Pie: Sapphire Shores?! Please! Sapphire Shores is merely the second biggest pony pop star in Equestria. I have booked the one, the only, Countess Coloratura!
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle: Ahhh...
Applejack: Who in the hay is Countess Coloratura?
Sweetie Drops and Lyra Heartstrings: [gasps]
Amethyst Star: [gasps]
Fluttershy, Noteworthy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Royal Riff, Spike, Sprinkle Medley and Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[poing]
Pinkie Pie: My frizz has been freaked!
[theme song]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie, who is this Countess Coloratura pony?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I just told you that she's the biggest pony pop star in Equestria! How-how-how-how-how have you not heard of her?!
Applejack: Don't know. Though I did know a gal named Coloratura when I was just a filly. [laughs and snorts] Wouldn't it just be the funniest thing if that Coloratura and this Coloratura were the same Coloratura? Heh.
Pinkie Pie: Do you mean to tell me that you actually know Countess Coloratura?
Applejack: Well, I don't think it's the same pony, since my friend wasn't any sort of high-falutin' countess.
Pinkie Pie: Do you remember her cutie mark?
Applejack: Sure do. It had this super colorful bunch of musical notes that just shimmered in the light.
Pinkie Pie: You mean... like this?!
Applejack: Well, fancy that! That there's the very same cutie mark!
Pinkie Pie: Do you have any idea the number of hoops I had to jump through to get her to perform at the festival?! A whole lot of hoops! That pony is very demanding!
Applejack: Nah.
Pinkie Pie: Yah!
Rarity: I completely understand. We artistes require certain necessities in order to do our best work.
Applejack: This was clearly some sort of misunderstandin', 'cause Rara was just as down home as me!
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Royal Riff, Spike, Sprinkle Medley and Twilight Sparkle: Rara?!
Applejack: Even that big name was too fancy for her, so I shortened Coloratura to "Rara"!
[foals shouting]
Applejack: [voiceover] We had the best time at Camp Friendship!
[splat]
Applejack: [voiceover] Rara was just so easygoin'! We were like two apples from the same branch.
[splashing]
Applejack: [voiceover] Rara and I prepared this song for the camp talent show. When we performed, she belted it out, singin' in the most colorful, clear voice I'd ever heard!
[Young Coloratura]
Equestria, the land I love
A land of harmony
Our flag does wave from high above
For ponykind to see
Equestria, a land of friends
Where ponykind do roam
They say true friendship never ends
Equestria, my home
[ting]
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: [voiceover] After camp, we wrote to each other for a bit, but...
Applejack: ...then we lost touch. But Rara always did want to go to Manehattan to try and make it big. But a demandin' diva? Just you wait, Pinkie. Once Rara gets here, you'll see she's just a plain old pony like you and me.
Pinkie Pie: I don't have to wait – she's here!
Applejack: Really?
[pop music BGM]
[rumbling and clanking]
Applejack: Rara?
Pinkie Pie: [squealing] Countess Coloratura!
Svengallop: Clear the way! Stand back! Keep your hooves and tail to yourselves!
[cameras clicking]
Applejack: No... that can't be her. [clears throat] Um... hi. Remember me? We met at Camp Friendship? I gave you the nickname "Rara"?
Countess Coloratura: AJ?
Applejack: Yeah! Heh. Howdy, Rara!
Svengallop: [unintelligible whispering]
[splat]
Countess Coloratura: Hoofsies! [short laugh]
Rarity: Ooh, you got hoofsies from Countess Coloratura! Look! Ooh, she clearly thinks you're very special!
Countess Coloratura: Hoofsies! Hoofsies! Hoofsies! [short laugh]
Applejack: Yeah... real special.
Svengallop: Now that's how you make an entrance! Big, bold, absolutely stunning! Though it was muddied a bit with your interaction with that dusty farmpony. Do you actually know her?
Countess Coloratura: Oh, yeah, that's my childhood fillyfriend AJ! She was the one that started calling me Rara.
Svengallop: Oh, yes, how cute and... common. Of course, I was the one that started calling you Countess, and just look at how you've moved up in Equestria since then! Why, you've gotten everything you've ever wanted! Speaking of which, where is the pony Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I'm the pony Pinkie Pie, Mr. Manager, sir!
Svengallop: Do you have the water imported from Rainbow Falls that I requested for Countess Coloratura?
Pinkie Pie: I have twenty glass containers full right here!
[clink]
Svengallop: Did I not tell you to provide straws in all of Countess Coloratura's beverages?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I don't think so. But lucky for you, I have the biggest straw collection in Equestria! I call this straw Fernando.
[flamenco music]
Svengallop: Hm. Let us confirm that you acquired the rest of the items that Countess Coloratura requested before she performs her run-through, shall we?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, we shall!
Svengallop: Floral arrangements from the royal Canterlot gardens... Chocolate éclairs made by Gustave le Grand... A selection of crystals from the Crystal Empire... Freshly picked cherries from Cherry Jubilee's farm separated red from yellow...
Pinkie Pie: Abso-toot-ly!
Svengallop: Well, by some miracle, your requests have been reasonably met. So let us move on... to rehearsal!
Pinkie Pie: See, Applejack? Demanding!
Applejack: Pinkie's right, Rarity! The Rara I knew didn't hide behind a veil givin' out fake stamp kisses, sippin' up imported water, and needin' her cherries separated.
Rarity: Oh, I do understand. Sometimes it's hard to see our friends change.
Applejack: She's become a whole other pony!
Rarity: Trust me. Once you see Countess Coloratura perform, you simply won't believe it!
[Countess Coloratura]
Time for the spectacle
Time for the show
The lights are bright and the colors glow
I'm not just anypony
I think you know
The time is now, it's about to blow!
Razzle dazzle
Glitz and glam
Turn it all up, it's a spectacle
Razzle dazzle
Glitz and glam
Turn it all up, it's a spectacle
Give me more
Razzle dazzle
Glitter eyes, big surprise
Lights, cameras
[vocalizing]
Razzle dazzle
Glitz and glam
Turn it all up, it's a spectacle
Hear the applause
Here to impress
Not just a pony, I am the Countess!
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: Rarity was right! I don't believe it!
Svengallop: Oh, my shining star! Thanks to the sparkling costumes, dazzling choreography, and brilliant vocal effects that I designed, your performance was spectacular, Countess Coloratura!
Countess Coloratura: Oh, [short laugh], thank you, Svengallop!
Applejack: Correct me if I'm wrong here, but that feller isn't actually complimentin' Rara. He's complimentin' all the bells and whistles he's piled on to make her Countess Coloratura.
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no-no-no, you don't understand, Applejack. Creating all those elements is a lot of work, and Countess Coloratura's performance wouldn't exist without them.
Applejack: If you ask me, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.
Countess Coloratura: Oh, if we're all done here, I'd love to go back to my trailer and rest, Svengallop.
Pinkie Pie: Actually, right now you're scheduled for your meet and greet with the schoolponies!
Svengallop: Ugh. I can totally get you out of meeting with the schoolponies, Countess.
Countess Coloratura: Absolutely not. My favorite part of any event is meeting with the schoolponies!
Applejack: The schoolponies'll be so happy to hear that, Rara!
Countess Coloratura: Ponyville schoolponies! As part of the Helping Hooves Music Festival, I'm holding a contest where some of you will get a chance to sing with me onstage at the concert tomorrow! Sound fun?
[foals cheering]
Countess Coloratura: Alright! Now who wants more hoofsies?
[foals cheering]
Applejack: Now that's more like the Rara I remember.
Pinkie Pie: [distant] But... I got everything you requested!
Svengallop: That was for Countess Coloratura! This is for me! And what I want is premium oats!
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Well, we have lots of tasty oats right here in Ponyville!
Svengallop: I would not feed those to a chicken! I want top-of-the-line Appleloosan oats! Next, it appears that we are surrounded by apple trees. Bring me five hundred pre-peeled, pre-cored apples, and I want those things in twenty-four hours!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] But that's impossible!
Svengallop: Do you want me to pull Countess Coloratura from your little podunk charity show?! Because I will!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack! Svengallop just made all of these new demands and he said—
Applejack: I heard, Pinkie. But don't you fret. I'll talk to Rara and fix things right up.
Apple Bloom: Did'ja see, sis?! Did'ja see?!
Countess Coloratura: Is this the little sister you wrote to me about, AJ?
Apple Bloom: Hold on, Applejack. You wrote to Countess Coloratura about me?!
Countess Coloratura: AJ said you were the best little sister ever, Apple Bloom!
[beat]
Applejack: Alright now, you'd best get along, little ponies.
Countess Coloratura: [laughs]
Applejack: Uh... Hey, Rara, you mind if I talk to you about your manager?
Countess Coloratura: Sure, what about him?
Applejack: Well, while you were meetin' with the schoolponies, he was demandin' all sorts of stuff from Pinkie Pie.
Countess Coloratura: Svengallop works very hard as my manager, AJ, so if he needs some things when we're on the road, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Applejack: Well, do you see somethin' wrong with him tellin' Pinkie that if she doesn't get those things by tomorrow, he'd pull you from our charity festival?
Countess Coloratura: What? But he knows how important charity is to me, and leaving the festival would completely ruin my image!
Applejack: I'm afraid Svengallop doesn't give a pickled pippin about your charity work.
Countess Coloratura: That's not true! Svengallop has always supported me in all my interests. You're just saying those things because you're jealous!
Applejack: Jealous of what? A pony who hides behind a veil so thick she can't see when somepony's usin' her? No, I'm not jealous of that, Rara!
Countess Coloratura: I am not Rara! I am Countess Coloratura! And while we may have been friends when we were young, we have clearly gone in different directions!
[squeaking and spinning]
Applejack: It just ain't right! He's manipulatin' her, and she's just not seein' it!
Pinkie Pie: Enough stewin', more peelin'!
Applejack: Sorry, Pinkie, but there is no way I'm lettin' that lousy Svengallop use my friend like that!
Pinkie Pie: [groans]
Applejack: Countess Coloratura!
Countess Coloratura: Wow, AJ, you said my real name.
Applejack: I said your new name, but I saw the real you hangin' out with those schoolponies yesterday. And I know somepony that'd prefer if you stop doin' those little events.
Countess Coloratura: Ugh, not this again.
Applejack: Come on now. You've just got to give me a chance to prove what I'm sayin' is true.
Countess Coloratura: And just how are you going to do that?
Applejack: Do exactly what I say. We'll see if that Svengallop truly has your best interests at heart.
Countess Coloratura: Svengallop? Svengallop! Where are you, Svengallop?
Svengallop: Here I am! Did you need something?
Countess Coloratura: Yes, I was... considering... m-maybe cancelling the contest with the schoolponies...?
Svengallop: Countess, this is wonderful! I've been waiting forever for you to cancel that pointless schoolpony contest.
Countess Coloratura: You... have?
Svengallop: You do it at every charity event, and it does absolutely nothing to promote the Countess Coloratura image that I built! Consider it cancelled. Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: [out of breath] Yes, Svengallop, sir! [coughs]
Svengallop: We are making some adjustments to the show. Follow me!
[magic twinkling]
[thud]
Svengallop: Cancel the contest for the fillies and schedule me a spa treatment. Now that I don't have to oversee a rehearsal with those brats, I have time for the works! You know the drill! Deliver, or the diva ditches your dippy charity!
Svengallop: Okay, Countess Coloratura, all taken care of!
[audio feedback]
Svengallop: [amplified] You know the drill! Deliver, or the diva ditches your dippy charity!
Countess Coloratura: So that's how you've been managing things?
Svengallop: Yeah, so? What's the problem?
Countess Coloratura: The problem is, is you've been using my name to intimidate ponies to get what you want!
Svengallop: But I work incredibly hard for you! I deserve everything I get!
Countess Coloratura: But not because you scare ponies into thinking I won't perform for their charities otherwise! I would never do that to my fans! Which is why you should have known that I would never cancel the schoolponies' contest!
Svengallop: Hmph. All this charity and schoolpony contest nonsense is just remnants of that boring little Rara I met back in Manehattan!
Countess Coloratura: You clearly don't understand the real me!
Svengallop: Ha, that's a joke! I made you somepony! What can you even do without me? Good luck, Countess Coloratura! Good luck.
Applejack: Oh, Rara, I'm so sorry. Are you gonna be okay for the concert tonight?
Countess Coloratura: Of course. After all, the show must go on!
Coloratura: Oh, my gosh, Rarity, Svengallop's right! This is gonna be a disaster! I'm gonna be terrible!
Applejack: Can you give us a minute, Rarity?
Rarity: Certainly.
Applejack: Now, why's it gonna be so terrible?
Coloratura: Because Svengallop was in charge of everything! The lights, the visuals, the sound! Without Svengallop, I have nothing!
Applejack: Now, now, don't go gettin' yourself into a tizzy there, Rara. Svengallop turned you into Countess Coloratura and acted like your friend so he could enjoy the perks that came with bein' a star. But the real perk of friendship is gettin' to see your friend bein' true to their self. And Rara, when you're simply yourself, you're the brightest star I've ever seen shine.
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Good evening, everypony! Welcome to opening night of the Helping Hooves Music Festival! Now it is my great honor to introduce you to our headlining act – Countess Coloratura!
[crowd cheering]
Coloratura: This song may be familiar, but yet, it's totally different. Kind of like me, Rara.
[ponies uttering confusion]
[Coloratura]
I'm here to show you who I am
Throw off the veil, it's finally time
There's more to me than glitz and glam, oh-whoa
And now I feel my stars align
For I had believed what I was sold
I did all the things that I was told
But all that has changed, and now I'm bold
'Cause I know
That I am just a pony
I make mistakes from time to time
But now I know the real me
And put my heart out on the line
And let the magic in my heart stay true
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
And let the magic in my heart stay true
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
Just like the magic inside of you
And now I see those colors
Right before my eyes
I hear my voice so clearly
And I know that it is right
They thought I was weak, but I am strong
They sold me the world, but they were wrong
And now that I'm back, I still belong
'Cause I know
That I am just a pony
I make mistakes from time to time
But now I know the real me
And put my heart out on the line
And let the magic in my heart stay true
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
And let the magic in my heart stay true
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
Just like the magic inside of you
Just like the magic inside of you...
[crowd cheering]
Coloratura: [amplified] Thank you, everypony! When I arrived at the Helping Hooves Music Festival, I had forgotten who I really was! But then an old friend reminded me what real friendship is about, and she told me that if I was true to myself, I couldn't go wrong! So I have a very special surprise for her. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, come on up!
[Coloratura and Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Equestria, the land I love
A land of harmony
Our flag does wave from high above
For ponykind to see
Equestria, a land of friends
Where ponykind do roam
They say true friendship never ends
Equestria, my home
[ting]
[credits]

The Cutie Re-Mark - Part 1

Twilight Sparkle: If somepony had told me when I was a blank flank that one day I'd give a speech to a class at Celestia's School of Magic, I wouldn't have believed it, but...
[cards shuffling]
Twilight Sparkle: I hope that I have been up to the task, because I can tell that all of you are and that the future of Equestrian magic is in good hooves.
Spike: [clapping] Wow, hehe. That was even better than the first eleven times. [clears throat]
Twilight Sparkle: Eh, I don't know, Spike. I'd like to be able to get through the whole speech without looking at the cards.
Spike: Come on, Twilight! You can't be nervous about giving a speech to a bunch of magic students!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not nervous, Spike, but I do have to set a good example, especially for magic students. That's why this speech has to be...
Spike: [sighs] Perfect?
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. Let's go through it one more time. [clears throat] When Princess Celestia asked me to speak to you today, I was honored to have the opportunity to talk about my favorite subject: magic.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Obviously, the long term effects of...
Audience Pony: Shhhh.
Twilight Sparkle: ...the simultaneous acquisition of cutie marks has yet to be determined, but... [sips water] Ahem. Next slide, please.
Spike: [snoring] Huh? Huh!
Twilight Sparkle: I can speak from my own experience that the power of Cutie Mark Magic is very real, and in the instance of my friends and I, it can be traced to a single event! Without Rainbow Dash's race to defend Fluttershy's honor, this rainboom wouldn't have happened. Fluttershy might never have discovered her love of animals. Applejack might never have realized that she belonged on her farm. And Pinkie Pie might never have decided to leave hers. It might be hard to imagine Rarity without her sense of fabulousness. But it's even harder to fathom what my life would be like. Without this rainboom, I might not have gotten into magic school. Celestia wouldn't have taken me on as her pupil or sent me to Ponyville to meet my friends. And the most powerful thing about Cutie Mark Magic that I found is the connection I share with them.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: But, um...
[cards shuffling]
Twilight Sparkle: The real question about... Cutie Mark Magic is... who it seems to affect.
Spike: Starlight Glimmer?
Twilight Sparkle: I was sure I saw her, Spike. But when I looked again, she was gone! I'm just worried what she could be up to.
Spike: Nothing good, I bet. I heard she wasn't very happy the last time you saw her.
Twilight Sparkle: Forcing everypony in her village to have the same cutie mark wasn't right. We had to do something!
Spike: And now she's coming back for revenge. Uh, or she was just really interested in your speech!
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, Spike. I'm not really sure what I saw. But as long as I have my friends, I know everything will be all right.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I was just more stressed about that speech than I thought.
Spike: Yeah. That sounds better than Starlight Glimmer coming back with an evil plot for revenge.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, when you say it like that, it does sound kinda silly.
Spike: Or it's totally true!
Starlight Glimmer: Welcome home, Twilight!
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing, Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs] I'd tell you, but I don't want to ruin the surprise! Won't be needing that anymore. [laughs]
[magic zaps]
[clocks ticking]
[magic zaps]
Spike: Where'd she go?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Spike, but I think we better find out!
Spike: I guess we could start with this.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, no! Don't touch that!
[magic zaps]
[clocks ticking]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [screaming]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Huh! [loud chewing]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [screaming]
[clocks ticking]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [screaming]
Spike: [continued screaming] Cloudsdale? Starlight doesn't even have wings! Why would she come here?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Spike, but it looked like she could fly with just magic! Keep your eyes open. We don't know what she has planned.
[whoosh]
Spike: Isn't that Rainbow Dash?
Twilight Sparkle: Did Rainbow Dash look really young to you? And I didn't see a cutie mark. You don't think...
Spike: ...We traveled back in time to when Rainbow Dash raced the bullies who made fun of Fluttershy and performed her first sonic rainboom?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, only Star Swirl the Bearded could do something like that, and even his spell just went back a week! How could Starlight do more than the greatest wizard in Equestria?
[paper rustling]
Spike: With this.
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl's spell! Oh, no!
Spike: Come on, let's go!
Twilight Sparkle: Go where?
Spike: To watch the race. I don't wanna miss the rainboom! Whoa!
Young Fluttershy: [yelps]
[various whooshes]
[thump]
Young Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Young Hoops: Heh. Later, Rainbow Crash!
Young Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Starlight Glimmer: Aw, sorry about this.
[magic zap]
Young Rainbow Dash: Hey! What gives?
[foals cheering]
Young Fluttershy: [giggling]
[critter noises]
Young Applejack: [sighs]
Young Pinkie Pie: [exhales]
[crow cawing]
[crunch]
Young Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
[magic fizzling]
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: What did you do?!
Starlight Glimmer: You are about to find out.
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [screaming]
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh... I don't know what Starlight's up to yet, but we'd better figure it out before it's too late.
Spike: Um, Twilight? I think it already is.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Where's your castle?
Twilight Sparkle: The map pulled us back, but whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!
Spike: But why? And how did we get here? Where's here?
Twilight Sparkle: More like when.
Spike: What do you mean?
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight altered Star Swirl's spell, then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and change something! Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present!
Spike: So we're back where— I mean, when we started?
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly. Everything's different. Look. The map doesn't even make sense anymore! The Crystal Empire takes up half of Equestria!
Spike: Plus there's the whole missing castle thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Right! This is too big to handle on our own.
Spike: You think?
Twilight Sparkle: We need to find our friends and get help!
[crow cawing]
Spike: I'm gettin' a bad feeling about this, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, Spike, but this is Ponyville. How bad could things be?
Spike: Is that Sugarcube Corner?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand.
Spike: [gasps] [panting] Rarity?
[knocking]
Spike: [grunts] Rarity?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think she's here, Spike. I'm not sure anything we know is the same. But I know one place that could never change!
[sign squeaking]
[machines grinding]
[squeaking]
[machines grinding and hissing]
[rumbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack?!
Applejack: What can I do for you?
Twilight Sparkle: It's so good to see you! We couldn't find Pinkie or Rarity or Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, but I just knew you'd still be here!
Applejack: Of course I am. This is my home. But who in tarnation is Pinkie Bow and Flutterdash? Or you for that matter?
Twilight Sparkle: You... don't know who I am?
Applejack: Nope. Honestly, the only name I recognize is Rarity, but she left for Manehattan years ago.
Spike: Probably to become a world-famous fashion designer, I bet.
Applejack: Not that I know of. Last I heard, she went to help with the cause like everypony else.
Twilight Sparkle: The cause?
Applejack: The war against King Sombra and the Crystal Empire?
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: What?!
Applejack: Where have you two been?
Spike: Actually, it's when.
Twilight Sparkle: I know this is hard to believe, but you and I and those other ponies I mentioned are friends!
Applejack: Did you bump your head on a crate of cider or somethin'?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm telling you the truth! And if you come with me, I'll prove it.
Applejack: Well, I'll admit. I've lived in these parts my whole life and I've never seen this before.
Spike: There's also supposed to be a castle that goes with it.
Applejack: But I still don't see what this has to do with you and I bein' friends.
Twilight Sparkle: Another pony named Starlight Glimmer used this map to travel through time and change things in the past. For some reason, the map's here but everything else is different!
Applejack: Different how?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, for one thing, where we came from, there's no war with King Sombra. Maybe you could tell us how the war started, then we can figure out when everything changed!
Applejack: That's easy enough. [sighs] When the Crystal Empire returned, it brought King Sombra back with it.
[flames whooshing]
Applejack: [voiceover] And it didn't take long for him to force every one of his subjects to fight for him against Equestria.
[marching]
[plane engine noises]
[sounds of battle]
King Sombra: [laughs]
[rumbling]
[rapid digging]
Applejack: [voiceover] And even with Princess Celestia leadin' the charge, it still takes every last pony in Equestria doin' their part, workin' day and night, to keep up the fight.
[train whistle]
Twilight Sparkle: I just can't believe it! We stopped King Sombra! You and me and all of our friends!
Applejack: But we aren't friends. At least not here.
Twilight Sparkle: Right.
Applejack: Look. I hope all this helped, but I really need to get back to cannin' those apples.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you. We're going to set things right.
Applejack: [sighs] I hope you do.
Spike: So... how are we gonna set things right?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! The only thing we know for sure is that Starlight stopped the rainboom.
Spike: And that the map's still here.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Spike, that's it! The map is connected to the Tree of Harmony! It must sense that something isn't right! That's why it's still here! I'll just use Starlight's version of the spell and go back a little earlier and stop her before she even knows we're there!
[paper rustling]
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
Spike: [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: All we have to do now is find Starlight and—
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, finding her will be easy! But stopping her's gonna be harder than you think. Sorry to disappoint you, but I created that spell to send myself back in time. So even when you cast it, I still get sent back here. It wasn't difficult to change Star Swirl's spell. He'd already done the hard part. But figuring out I could use the map to go to any time or place and pull you along with me? [short laugh] I even impressed myself with that. I knew you'd try to stop me. You're so predictable. Why else would I leave the scroll behind? Touching it triggered the map to whisk you here and watch me erase the one thing that linked you with your friends! My village was a sanctuary of equality, where nopony's cutie mark allowed them to feel superior! It was a special place, and you and your friends took it away!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Now it's my turn to take something special from you! Without the rainboom, you and your friends will never form your special cutie mark bonds! Cutie marks for cutie marks! Sounds like a fair trade to me!
[tok]
[crystal shattering]
Spike: Twiliiiiiiight!
Twilight Sparkle: Oops!
Spike: [screaming] Thanks!
Twilight Sparkle: No problem, Spike. At least now we know exactly what we have to do!
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, keep your eyes peeled.
Spike: Right!
Twilight Sparkle: We have to stop Starlight as soon as Rainbow Dash and those bullies race by!
Spike: Um, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: So be ready.
Spike: I know, but—
Twilight Sparkle: Because she could pop up anywhere!
Spike: Like over there?
[aah-OOOOOOO-gah!!!]
Twilight Sparkle: [short gasp]
Starlight Glimmer: Just remember how you'd feel if someone said those things to you.
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on here?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I was just reminding these two colts how hurtful teasing can be.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, don't!
Young "Dumb-Bell" and Hoops: Huh?
Young Fluttershy: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: I mean... you were?
Starlight Glimmer: Of course! In a world where everypony is unique, some are bound to feel more special than others. But that isn't a license to be cruel, is it?
Twilight Sparkle: No, of course not...
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, isn't it a shame we don't live in a world where everypony is equal? No one would ever tease anyone there! Wouldn't that be nice?
Young "Dumb-Bell", Fluttershy and Hoops: Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: No, it wouldn't! I mean, it'd be nice not to be teased, of course, but that's not the same thing!
Young Hoops: Come on, Fluttershy. Maybe I can help you get through the course this time.
Young Fluttershy: Well, I-I sure could use the practice...
Twilight Sparkle: I know you only convinced those bullies to not tease Fluttershy to stop the rainboom!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, that's not true. I convinced them not to be bullies because everypony should be equal. Stopping the rainboom is just a bonus.
[whoosh]
Spike: Look!
Twilight Sparkle: This isn't over yet!
Starlight Glimmer: If you say so!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi!
Young Rainbow Dash: Um... hi?
Twilight Sparkle: You think you can stop for a minute?
Young Rainbow Dash: Sure.
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: I hear you're pretty fast!
Young Rainbow Dash: Pretty fast? Please! I'm even faster than that!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so, um, hey, you want to race?
Young Rainbow Dash: Um, that wouldn't really be fair. I mean, you're a full-grown pony, and... Wait. Are you an Alicorn?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, I thought you were fast!
[sproing]
Young Rainbow Dash: Uh, actually, I just remembered I have somewhere I need to be.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, listen. You don't have to race me. I just need you to fly fast enough for a sonic rainboom!
Young Rainbow Dash: What?! I can't do that! Nopony can! It's not even a real thing! It's just an old mare's tale!
Twilight Sparkle: But it's not! I know it's not! I've seen you do it! In the future!
Young Rainbow Dash: Ooookay... I'm gonna go now.
Twilight Sparkle: No! Wait!
Starlight Glimmer: Gee, Twilight, what's the matter? Couldn't convince her to do the impossible? That's too bad.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales]
[magic zap]
[clocks ticking]
[magic zaps]
[thud]
Spike: Ugh. Well, that didn't work.
Twilight Sparkle: This is gonna be harder than I thought. We'll have to try again!
Spike: Hey, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want to live in that awful future we saw!
Spike: I don't think you'll have to!
[spears clinking]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? Fluttershy?
Pinkie Pie: Silence, changeling!
Fluttershy: All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods must be... destroyed!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp]
[To be continued...]
[credits]

The Cutie Re-Mark - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Spike: Starlight Glimmer?
Twilight Sparkle: I was sure I saw her, Spike!
Starlight Glimmer: Welcome home, Twilight!
Spike: We traveled back in time to when Rainbow Dash performed her first sonic rainboom?
Starlight Glimmer: Without the rainboom, you and your friends will never form your special cutie mark bond!
Twilight Sparkle: But whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want to live in that awful future we saw!
Spike: I don't think you'll have to.
Fluttershy: All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods must be... destroyed!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulps]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! We're not changelings! I'm a pony! And he's a dragon!
Pinkie Pie: A likely story! Do something dragonish!
Spike: [belches]
Pinkie Pie: [wheezes] That works!
Fluttershy: The servants of Chrysalis will do anything to save their evil skins!
Zecora: Stop! If they are changelings we'll soon see. Though I think they're not what they appear to be.
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora! Please, you have to listen.
Zecora: Beneath this salve, no changeling hides, for it reveals the truth inside.
[ponies gasping]
Pinkie Pie: What does it mean?
Zecora: The meaning is far worse, I see, for it is we who should not be.
Twilight Sparkle: I think I can explain.
Zecora: I'm sure you can, but let's not talk here. Chrysalis and her army will soon draw near!
Zecora: The changelings took over not long ago. Though I'll wager in your world that isn't so.
Twilight Sparkle: Chrysalis and her army tried to take over Canterlot, but my friends and I stopped her.
Zecora: Those friends as you know them are not here, alas. But tell me how all this came to pass.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer, a pony who traveled back in time to stop my friends and me from ever coming together!
Zecora: And it is these friends you have in life that keep Equestria free from strife?
Twilight Sparkle: I guess so. But this is the second time I've come back and this world is even worse than the last one! If Starlight keeps doing the same thing in the past, how could the present be so different?
Zecora: Ah. Time is a river, where even the tiniest changes seen can lead to a cascade of effects downstream.
Zecora: This part of the forest is dark and damp, but it's done well to hide our camp.
[thunk]
Spike: This is cozy.
Rarity: [shrieks] Please! You have to help us!
Rainbow Dash: The changelings attacked Ponyville! We barely escaped with our lives!
Zecora: The only changeling attack I see is the one that come here looking for me!
Applejack: It's taken quite a while to find you, Zecora. [laughs]
Queen Chrysalis: [laughs] What a lovely village you've chosen to stage your little resistance. It looks absolutely delicious! [slurping] Oh, come now, Zecora. You're vastly outnumbered.
[changeling wings humming]
Queen Chrysalis: I know you don't want your charges hurt. Come quietly to the dungeons of Canterlot and I promise to leave the others alone.
Fluttershy: Why would she ever trust you?!
Twilight Sparkle: Even if there's a chance Chrysalis will honor her word, shouldn't you try?
Zecora: [hushed] Race to the map while we hold off their attack. Stop Starlight and put the whole world back on track!
Queen Chrysalis: Time to make a decision, Zecora!
Zecora: Even if what you are saying were true, we'd never surrender to a creature like you! [yells]
[sounds of battle, changeling wings]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
[changeling roars]
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: Not bad, but it's gonna take a lot more than that!
Twilight Sparkle: Lucky for you, there's more where that came from!
[many magic zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: You've really gotta work on your aim.
[many magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: [panting]
[magic zaps]
Young Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [chewing]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing? You have to finish your race!
Young Rainbow Dash: No way! This is way more exciting!
Starlight Glimmer: See? You can't stop me no matter what you do.
[magic zaps]
Young Rainbow Dash: Aw, man.
[magic zaps]
[thuds]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [groans]
Spike: That's strange.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you obviously don't mean us falling, because that's becoming pretty routine.
Spike: No, it's just the other times we've come back, it's been day! But look!
Twilight Sparkle: Why would the map bring us back to a different time of day than when we left?
[branches cracking]
Spike: Um, maybe we should figure it out later!
[timberwolves growling]
Twilight Sparkle: [loud panting]
[timberwolves howling]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] The Castle of the Two Sisters!
[timberwolves howling]
Spike: Well, don't just stand here!
[door opens and closes]
Spike: This place looks a lot cleaner than I remember.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity?
Rarity: The castle isn't open for viewings today. The tapestries all need changing. Again.
Spike: Rarity, it's me!
Rarity: I don't socialize with dragons. I don't know anypony who would.
Spike: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you have to listen to me! The future of Equestria's at stake!
Rarity: I don't know how you know my name, but I am far too busy to entertain some tourist's ridiculous fantasies.
Twilight Sparkle: I have to get back to the map so I can stop Starlight from changing the past, because every present I come to is worse than the last!
Nightmare Moon: Time travel, you say? Now that's something I would like to see.
Nightmare Moon: [laughing] Tell me how you came by this magic to travel through time.
Rainbow Dash: The princess asked you a question! And unless you wanna end up in the dungeon, you'll tell her what she wants to know!
Nightmare Moon: Nopony in my kingdom but me should possess a magic powerful enough to change time.
Spike: Your kingdom?
Nightmare Moon: Who else?
Spike: Um... Celestia, of course!
Nightmare Moon: [laughing] My sister has been imprisoned in the moon for years! But it is no less a fate than she'd sentence me to! Now, reveal to me the source of this time magic!
Twilight Sparkle: ...Alright.
Spike: Twilight, no!
Twilight Sparkle: We have no choice, Spike. [to Nightmare Moon] I can take you to it, but you'll have to get past the timberwolves.
Nightmare Moon: I am the ruler of all of Equestria. Do you think I can't deal with timberwolves?
Twilight Sparkle: No. I know you can.
Nightmare Moon: And if you were thinking of trying to escape...
[chains clinking]
Nightmare Moon: ...it would be very unfortunate for your friend.
[magic zaps]
[timberwolf whimpering]
[crunch]
Nightmare Moon: How does it work?
Twilight Sparkle: A pony from my time used this spell to travel back and change the past.
Nightmare Moon: And now you will give this spell to me! With it, I will ensure that the Elements of Harmony are never found and my reign lasts forever!
Twilight Sparkle: But it won't.
Nightmare Moon: What?!
Twilight Sparkle: In my world, my friends and I found the Elements and used them to defeat you! And I will do everything in my power to bring that world back!
Nightmare Moon: No!
[magic zaps]
Nightmare Moon: Noooooo!
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Now more than ever I know how important it is to stop you!
[crunch]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, good luck!
Young Rainbow Dash: Whoooaaaa!
[magic zaps]
[crunching]
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: [clapping]
[squeaks]
[splatting]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
[sound of machinery]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Up for another race-ending fight, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: No. You were right. I can't stop you.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: But you can't stop me from trying, and we could be stuck doing this for all eternity!
Starlight Glimmer: If that's what it takes to keep you and your friends from getting your cutie mark connection, then I'm game!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: What you're doing goes way beyond cutie marks! Everything we do here in the past – even the smallest change – can snowball into an avalanche of trouble for the future!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, next I suppose you'll tell me that "the fate of all of Equestria hangs in the balance"!
Twilight Sparkle: It does!
Starlight Glimmer: Spare me your overblown ego! No group of friends, not even Princess Twilight's, is that important!
[magic zap]
Young Rainbow Dash: Aaaaaaah!
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know how important other ponies' friendships are to the future, but I can show you what the world is like without mine!
[wind blowing]
Starlight Glimmer: Where are we?!
Twilight Sparkle: The future. Or rather, the present.
Starlight Glimmer: But there's nothing here!
Twilight Sparkle: I wish I could say I was surprised. But every world I come back to is worse than the last. I don't know why my friends and I are so important to Equestria, but we are.
Starlight Glimmer: I don't believe you!
Spike: Come on, Starlight, look around!
Twilight Sparkle: Like I said, everything in the past affects the future, even the tiniest act. And what you're doing leads here. I know I can't stop you, but I thought showing you this might change your mind.
Starlight Glimmer: Change my mind? You don't know anything about me! I was perfectly happy before you and your friends ruined what I built!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what happened that led you to make your village without cutie marks, and I'm sorry my friends and I had to take it away.
Starlight Glimmer: You want to know what happened to me?! I'll show you!
[magic zaps]
[clocks ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: Where are we?
Starlight Glimmer: That map of yours is connected to every part of Equestria, and this part is my home.
[young Starlight Glimmer clapping]
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst and I did everything together. In fact, I don't remember us ever being apart. Until today.
[rumbling]
[myriad thumps]
Sunburst: [whinnies]
[ponies excited]
Starlight Glimmer: And just like that, my friend was gone. His family recognized his magical talent and sent him off to Canterlot. I never saw him again.
Spike: Well, why not?
Starlight Glimmer: Because of his cutie mark! He got his, and I didn't! He moved on, and I didn't! I stayed here and never made another friend because I was too afraid another cutie mark would take them away, too!
Twilight Sparkle: That's ridiculous. A cutie mark can't take your friends away.
Starlight Glimmer: Not everypony's lucky enough to get her cutie mark at the same time as her friends!
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: You don't know what it's like to lose a friend because of a cutie mark. But once I stop the rainboom, you will!
[magic zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: And when I destroy this scroll, there'll be no way for you to change it!
[paper ripping]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, you're right! I don't know what you went through! But I do know you can't do this! I've seen where this leads, and so have you!
Starlight Glimmer: I only saw what you showed me! Who knows what'll really happen?
Twilight Sparkle: I've seen it a dozen times! Things don't turn out well in Equestria without my friends!
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! What's so special about your friends?! How can a group of ponies that are so different be so important?!
Twilight Sparkle: The differences between me and my friends are the very things that make our friendship strong!
Starlight Glimmer: I thought Sunburst and I were the same. But we turned out different, and it tore our friendship apart!
Twilight Sparkle: So try again! Make new friends! And if something that you can't control happens that changes things, work through it together! That's what friendship is! And it's not just my friendships that are important to Equestria! Everypony's are! When yours ended, it led us here. But just imagine all the others that are out there waiting for you if you just give them a chance!
Starlight Glimmer: How do I know they won't all end the same way?
Twilight Sparkle: I guess it's up to you to make sure they don't.
[whoosh]
[paper rustling]
[boom]
[magic zaps]
[magic zaps]
[thumps]
[magic zaps]
Spike: [kissing] One Castle of Friendship – check!
[door opens]
Rarity: What in Equestria was that?!
Fluttershy: Is everypony okay?
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] Can you do it again?
Spike: One group of amazing friends – check!
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, Spike. It looks like we're home!
Applejack: Uh... what's she doin' here?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, it's kind of a long story.
[muffled voices]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, I knew my rainboom was awesome, but I never thought all of Equestria depended on it!
Pinkie Pie: Or on us!
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's more than that. Friendship connects all of Equestria, and undoing one group of friends made its magic less powerful.
Applejack: I can't believe y'all were able to travel through time like that.
Pinkie Pie: That Starlight must be pretty magical!
Twilight Sparkle: She obviously has more talent for magic than almost anypony I've seen. My magic couldn't stop her. I had to convince her to stop on her own. Once I realized that, everything fell into place.
Applejack: But if she's as powerful as all that, we can't just send her on her way, can we?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I kind of have something else in mind.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [gulps, exhales] I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair.
Twilight Sparkle: I've been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous.
Starlight Glimmer: I know first-hoof how true that can be.
Twilight Sparkle: And that's why I've asked you here. If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach you what I know. You'll have the power to make Equestria an even better place.
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] How do I start?
Twilight Sparkle: Starting is easy! All you have to do is make a friend! And you've got seven of them right here.
[Starlight Glimmer]
I never thought that I would find a place
To step right in and start again
I never thought that I could just begin
Right where I left off and make a friend
[Twilight Sparkle]
Don't ever think that it might be too late
You don't have to wait, there's no mistakes with the friends you make
A friendship's only made of what you bring
And if you do it right, you can do anything
[Starlight Glimmer and Mane Six]
Just use your eyes
This time, no lies
Just don't disguise
Who you are inside
Because your friends are always there for you
You don't have to be the same for friendship to be true
Because your friends are always there for you
Around the world, it's still the same
Together you have more to gain
There's nothing that a friend won't do
Everywhere you go
Friendship there will grow
When you find it, it's the key
Friends can change the world, you see
Everywhere you go
Friendship there will grow
When you find it, it's the key
Friends can change the world (ah-ah)
Friends can change the world (ah-ah)
Friends can change the world, you see
[credits]

The Crystalling - Part 1

Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Okay. Library... Library... Where did they put the library?
[pause]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] This castle looked a lot smaller from the outside.
[door opens]
[brushing]
Spike: [muffled] Morning, Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: Whoops!
[door shuts]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry, Spike! I guess I'm still trying to find my way around. You don't happen to know where the library is, do you?
Spike: [muffled] Next door on the left!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Thanks!
Twilight Sparkle: Acceptance, mm-hmm. Altruism, definitely. Starlight, good morning, come in!
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry I'm late. I got a little turned around. I still can't believe you're letting me stay here... as your pupil... after everything I did.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm not one to dwell on the past, and neither should you. The castle is your home now, and as far as being my pupil goes, I was just trying to figure out what your first friendship lesson should be!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, well, it looks like you're really narrowing it down!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, these are just the A's. After this, I move on to the B's!
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: I know I'm just learning about friendship, but I didn't think there were this many lessons for anything. How do we choose?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should pare things down a bit before we go through them. Why don't you join the others in the throne room? They're planning our trip to the Crystal Empire when Shining Armor and Princess Cadance have their baby!
Starlight Glimmer: Throne room! Got it! [beat] Um, which way is the throne room? [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Well, I think we should leave ASAP. I don't want to miss the Crystalling!
Fluttershy: But, um, shouldn't we wait for the invitation?
Applejack: Frankly, I'm not exactly clear on all the customs and traditions of the Crystal Empire, especially when it comes to a Crystalling.
Starlight Glimmer: What's a Crystalling?
Rarity: Well, that's just it, darling. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's baby is due any day, and we're still not sure. The Crystal Empire was gone for a thousand years. A lot of their customs are a bit murky.
Applejack: We know it's got somethin' to do with the new baby.
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] And a party!
Fluttershy: And the Crystal Heart.
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] And a party!
Rainbow Dash: And some kinda cool energy.
Pinkie Pie: And... a party!
[confetti explosion]
Spike: It's not hard to understand. Most things in the Crystal Empire aren't. Like how I'm a big hero there, for example!
Rarity: [stifled giggle]
Spike: Eh... plus, I've had to help Twilight do a lot of research on Crystallings. Whenever a baby is born in the Crystal Empire, the parents bring it before the Crystal Heart. They get the purest shard of crystal they can find, then pick a crystaller to present the baby to everypony who comes. Then they all share the light and joy they feel, feeding it into the crystal that joins with the Heart, and increases its power! And this is going to be a royal Crystalling, so pretty much the whole empire will show up. That hasn't happened in a millennia!
Starlight Glimmer: What do you mean it increases the Crystal Heart's power?
Spike: The energy it uses to protect the Crystal Empire, I guess.
Starlight Glimmer: Protect it from what?
Spike: I... didn't help Twilight with that part.
[paper rustling]
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, Twilight, can I ask you something about the Crystal Empire?
Twilight Sparkle: Huh! Funny you should mention it. Because I just narrowed your first friendship lesson down to three options, and one of them is in the Crystal Empire!
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: I found out that's where the first pony you ever cared about lives!
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, that's just one idea. We could also go to Griffonstone. [begins fading out] Making friends with a griffon is a challenge all by itself! Or we could tag along with the CMC's the next time they try to help a pony figure out why they're special...
[high-pitched ringing]
Twilight Sparkle: [normal] Starlight? Is something wrong?
Starlight Glimmer: What? O-Oh, no, heh, those all sound great!
Twilight Sparkle: I know! I guess you were right – it is gonna be hard to choose one!
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously] ...Yeah.
[door opens]
[clatter]
[magic noises]
[door closes]
[door opens]
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! I am never gonna find my way around this place!
Spike: Gee, Starlight, what's wrong?
Starlight Glimmer: I don't know, Spike. Twilight's figuring out what my first friendship lesson is, and I guess I'm not exactly thrilled with the options. Well... with one of them.
Spike: Which one?
Starlight Glimmer: Reuniting me with my first friend.
Spike: What's so terrible about that?
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] [narrating] When we were foals, Sunburst knew everything there was to know about magic. He always knew just what to do. And he was always there to help me. I guess it's not surprising that Sunburst got his cutie mark in magic and... went off to Princess Celestia's school. But when he left...
Spike: You blamed cutie marks and stripped a whole village of theirs, and when Twilight and the others stopped you, you went back in time and almost destroyed Equestria.
[poof]
Starlight Glimmer: Not really stuff I'm super eager to tell Sunburst about. I mean, he's probably some big important wizard now, and... I can't even find my way around Twilight's castle.
Spike: Well, if Sunburst is that good at magic, maybe he'd appreciate your, uh... [clears throat] exploits. You should talk to Twilight about it. I'm sure she'd want to hear what you have to say.
Starlight Glimmer: I know. But I don't want her to think I'm not ready to learn or that I'm not grateful for everything she's doing.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Come quick!
[wind blowing]
Spike: It's a Crystalling invitation!
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor's a father! I'm an aunt! Well, this settles it! Since we're going to the Crystal Empire, your first friendship lesson is going to be... reuniting with Sunburst!
Starlight Glimmer: Great...
[train whistle]
Rainbow Dash: [yawn] Um, Applejack, what is that?
Applejack: Oh, just a little somethin' for the young'un. Made from genuine Sweet Apple Acres apple trees. We make 'em for all the Apples, and anypony related to Twilight is practically family.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, it's okay... But it's no Cloudsdale mobile! Bam!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Ooh!
Pinkie Pie: Pretty!
[shatter]
Applejack: Well, a mobile is real nice... as long as you have somethin' to lay in so you can look at it.
Rarity: And a fetching blanket to keep you warm.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure Shining Armor and Princess Cadance will love all our gifts. But I think they're more happy we'll be attending the baby's Crystalling.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I can't wait to see all that light and love make the Crystal Heart even more sparkly and shiny!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Pinkie, the Crystal Heart is an ancient and powerful relic. Without its magic, the Crystal Empire would be lost to the Frozen North.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow, this Crystalling sounds pretty important. I'd understand if you wanted to... you know... wait to do a different friendship lesson when we get back.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding? This trip is perfect! Not only do I get to see the baby and take part in the ceremony that helps maintain the magic of the Crystal Empire, but I'm starting my new pupil off with the most amazing friendship lesson ever! I can't wait!
Starlight Glimmer: Right... Me neither... [beat] Actually, Twilight, I am a little worried about meeting Sunburst.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, trust me. I know what it's like to see old friends. But I'll be right there to help things along. I've broken the whole lesson down into a few easy steps to ensure this reunion goes off without a hitch!
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously]
[train chuffing]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] Step one, head to Sunburst's house and get you two started on the right hoof. Step two, get to the castle with enough time to visit the ba—
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Shining Armor!
Shining Armor: [tired] Twilight...!
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't know you were meeting us!
Shining Armor: [tired] Of course I am! It's me, right here. Here I am. Why wouldn't I come meet my sister? Though we have met before, heh-heh...
Twilight Sparkle: Are you all right?
Shining Armor: [tired] Never better! Being a father is amazing! And wonderful, and amazing, and confusing, and amazing, but surprising too, you know? I mean, not that you'd know. You wouldn't know, I know... You know? [beat] Sorry. I haven't really slept since Cadance had the baby. Come to think of it, she hasn't either. It sure would be great to get a break.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, of course! I don't know what I was thinking! You two probably need all kinds of help! I'm sorry, Starlight, but I guess combining your first lesson with this visit wasn't such a good idea.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, uh, don't be ridiculous! You're an aunt now! That's way more important than some friendship lesson.
Twilight Sparkle: I just wish there was a way to do both.
Spike: Maybe there is! You've already done the work for Starlight's lesson with this list. All we have to do is follow it!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you're a genius!
Starlight Glimmer: [through nervous laugh] Yeah... [through gritted teeth] genius.
Twilight Sparkle: Then it's settled! Shining Armor and I will head straight to the castle, and you two can head straight to Sunburst's!
Spike: Aye-aye, Princess!
Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, big brother, let's go see this amazing baby pony!
Shining Armor: [snoring] Ahhh... the baby...
Spike: I know you're a little worried about this reunion, but I'm sure Twilight's got everything covered.
Starlight Glimmer: Everything except how I'd rather do absolutely anything else.
Spike: Oh, I bet she's taken that into account too. It's all part of the lesson. Trust the lesson.
Starlight Glimmer: Right... [beat] Hey, i-is that... you?
Spike: Oh, yep, it sure is! Now, according to the list, Sunburst's house is—
Starlight Glimmer: Why is there a statue of you in the Crystal Empire?
"Scarlet Heart": Because Spike the Brave and Glorious saved all of us from King Sombra!
"Amber Laurel": And then again during the Equestria Games!
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
"Golden Väs": Really! [to Spike] Big fan.
Starlight Glimmer: Um, when were you going to tell me about this?
Spike: Nah, it's no big deal.
Crystal Ponies: It most certainly is!
Starlight Glimmer: That's it! We're not going anywhere until I get the whole story!
Shining Armor: Before we go in, I should probably tell you. Seeing the baby might be a bit of a shock.
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, big brother. I've met babies before. I expect meeting this one won't be any different. [gasps]
Flurry Heart: [coos]
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, I could be wrong.
Flurry Heart: [burbling]
Twilight Sparkle: The baby is an Alicorn?!
Princess Cadance: [tired] It looks that way.
Rarity: But... But... But I thought Alicorn wings had to be earned by accomplishing some great, princess-worthy deed!
Applejack: Yeah. How can you just be born with 'em?
Princess Celestia: The birth of an Alicorn is something Equestria has never seen!
Princess Luna: It is beyond even our understanding.
Fluttershy: [hushed] That's not very reassuring.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! A unicorn, and a Pegasus! So she could be a super-strong flyer and have crazy baby magic!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I know all about super-strong flying!
Twilight Sparkle: And I can help keep tabs on her magic!
Flurry Heart: [sneezes] [burbles]
Princess Celestia: It appears her magic is more powerful than that of a newborn unicorn!
Princess Luna: The crowds have already started to gather.
Pinkie Pie: [inhales] [blows balloon] This Crystalling is gonna be some party!
[balloon pops]
Princess Cadance: Do you think we should call it off?
Rainbow Dash: Um, we've all faced a lot worse than baby magic.
Rarity: I can't imagine cancelling such a beautiful and important ceremony over something so potentially adorable!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [general agreement]
Princess Celestia: In light of the little one's abilities, this Crystalling might be more important than ever. [to Cadance] Perhaps you should address your subjects and remind them of that.
Princess Cadance: Hm. [kisses]
Flurry Heart: [baby noise]
Shining Armor: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor! Do you have everything you need for the ceremony?
Shining Armor: [tired] Huh? Oh, no! I still have to interview the honor guards, choose the purity crystal, and pick a crystaller!
Twilight Sparkle: Alright, take it easy. Pinkie can stay here with me and keep an eye on the baby.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Applejack: And we'll all help you with everythin' else.
Shining Armor: [snores] ...baby...
Rarity: That is, if you can stay awake long enough to tell us how.
Spike: ...and that's how we found the Crystal Heart, defeated King Sombra, and saved the Empire.
[Crystal Ponies cheering]
"Cloudy Spinel": We love you, Spike!
"Coral Shores": Yeah. Tell the one about the Equestria Games!
Spike: Well, as much as I love reliving my heroic deeds, Starlight and I have an important lesson to do, by order of the Princess of Friendship!
Foals: Awwww!
Starlight Glimmer: Aw, come on, Spike! I want to hear about the Games too!
[scribbling]
Spike: I know you're nervous about seeing Sunburst, but it says right in step 3, to, uh, "Deal with your fears by facing them, not by putting it off."
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh. Let's go get this over with.
Spike: Wait!
Starlight Glimmer: Huh? What?!
Spike: Knocking on the door isn't the next thing on the list!
Starlight Glimmer: Seriously?
Spike: I know Twilight can be a little nitpicky, but this is your first lesson as her pupil, and it's important that we do it right!
Starlight Glimmer: Fine. What's the next thing on the list?
Spike: [clears throat] [reading] "Before they see each other, be sure to highlight the importance of the meeting."
Starlight Glimmer: I'm pretty sure we can skip that.
Spike: I don't know... I mean if we skip it, the whole lesson could go south! And then you might end up taking a giant step backwards instead of forwards! Maybe you'll never be able to learn anything about friendship at all! It's almost like your whole future depends on this moment. [beat] "Highlight the importance of the meeting" – check! I can't believe you wanted to skip that!
[knocking]
[long beat]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst?
Sunburst: Yes? What can I do for you?
Starlight Glimmer: It's... It's me, Starlight. We used to be friends?
Sunburst: [beat] Oh, of course! S-Starlight! My goodness, it-it's been a long time! What, uh, what have you been up to?
Starlight Glimmer: Me? Oh! You know, some of this, some of that, different... stuff. Right now, I'm sort of Twilight Sparkle's new pupil.
Sunburst: The Princess of Friendship?
Starlight Glimmer: Heh... yeah... that's actually kind of why I'm here. I mean, I know you're probably very busy.
Sunburst: What do you mean?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I figured after magic school, you'd go on to do important wizard work, but...
Sunburst: Oh. No. Y-Yes! Uh, y-yes, that's me, yup. [nervous chuckle] Important wizard! Really busy with lots of, uh, wi-wizarding... stuff. [beat] Right. Uh, well... good to see you.
[door closes]
Spike: Huh. Maybe we should have skipped highlighting the importance of the meeting after all.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I guess that's that!
Spike: Starlight, come on! We have to at least explain what Twilight wants!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Princess Cadance: [tired, amplified] Dearest citizens, I am sure you are all just as thrilled and ready for this Crystalling as myself and Shining Armor.
[crowd cheering]
Shining Armor: [panicked breathing] I'm not ready!
Rainbow Dash: Take it easy! Just pick whoever looks the most like honor guard material.
Shining Armor: Right... right.
[thump]
Royal guards: [whimpering]
Shining Armor: I'm sorry. Fatherhood is way more stressful than I ever thought.
Fluttershy: I can only imagine.
Rarity: Now, I know choosing the crystal of purity is a very important decision. So I have gone through the trouble of arranging them in order from incredibly pure to outrageously pure.
Fluttershy: Um, Rarity, don't they all sort of look the same?
Rarity: Oh, well, to the untrained eye, perhaps. What do you think, Shining Armor?
Shining Armor: [incoherent stammering] I don't know!
Rarity: [hushed] I hope Twilight and Pinkie are having better luck with the baby!
Flurry Heart: [burbling]
Pinkie Pie: Well... at least she's having... fun!
[magic zaps]
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, hold her still!
Pinkie Pie: I'm tryiiiiiiing!
Sunburst: So... the Princess of Friendship wants you and I to be friends again?
Starlight Glimmer: Heh, I know. Weird, right?
Sunburst: Uh, I don't understand. Did something happen to you after I left for magic school?
Starlight Glimmer: What?
[thump]
Starlight Glimmer: No! I-I don't see what that has to do with anything. W-Why would you even ask that?
[tea pouring]
Starlight Glimmer: I mean, did something happen to you after you left for magic school?
Sunburst: What? Um, no. L-Like you said, I'm a, [clears throat] i-important wizard.
Spike: I'm sure there's something on Twilight's list that can help here.
Shining Armor: [heavy breathing]
[door opens]
Shining Armor: Okay. I chose the honor guard, picked the purity crystal, and I know exactly who I want to be our crystaller. So, all we need is...
Princess Cadance: The baby?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: We're here!
Flurry Heart: [burbling]
Pinkie Pie: She's a really strong flyer!
[magic bubbling]
Flurry Heart: [sniffling] [loud crying]
[cracking]
[shattering]
Everypony: [gasps]
Flurry Heart: [burbling]
Applejack: I'm guessin' that's gonna make it harder to do the Crystalling.
Twilight Sparkle: It's worse than that. Without the Heart, the Crystal Empire's about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!
Flurry Heart: [burbles]
[To be continued...]
[jaunty music over credits]

The Crystalling - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Starlight Glimmer: I still can't believe you're letting me stay here... as your pupil.
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor's a father! I'm an aunt!
Twilight Sparkle: Your first friendship lesson is going to be... reuniting with Sunburst!
Sunburst: Uh, y-yes, that's me, yup. [nervous chuckle] Important wizard!
Twilight Sparkle: The baby is an Alicorn?!
Pinkie Pie: So she could be a super-strong flyer and have crazy baby magic!
[shattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Without the Heart, the Crystal Empire's about to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow!
Everypony: [gasps]
[theme song]
Rarity: So... not only can we not take part in a fabulous ancient ceremony, but we're also about to be frozen solid!
Twilight Sparkle: Without the Crystal Heart's magical protection, the entire city's about to become a winter wasteland!
Applejack: But what about when King Sombra ruled the Crystal Empire and the Crystal Heart was missin'? The city wasn't covered in snow then!
Twilight Sparkle: The Heart wasn't missing. It was still in the castle. King Sombra had just hidden it.
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid Twilight is correct, and the storm clouds are already forming.
[lightning cracks]
Rainbow Dash: I can totally fly up there and bust those puppies! No problem!
Princess Celestia: I wouldn't advise it, Rainbow Dash. Those storm clouds are not like the ones you know.
Princess Luna: This far north, the weather has a will of its own, and now it will only grow stronger, enveloping everything in its path.
Princess Cadance: Including the Crystal Empire!
Twilight Sparkle: And us along with it!
Spike: There's gotta be somethin'...
Sunburst: I know Princess Twilight is keen on the two of us rekindling our friendship, but... it's been so long. I don't see how anything on that list is going to help.
Starlight Glimmer: I know, right? It's not like there's some spell that would magically compel us to pick up where we left off.
Sunburst: Well, actually, there's several. Mistmane's Material Amity, Rockhoof's Rapport, Flash Prance's Fellow... ship... [ahem] But I-I get the feeling the princess isn't looking for a spell.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckle] Definitely not.
Spike: Got it! [reading] "And if all else fails, ask them to share an embarrassing moment from their past, maybe even something they regret!"
[beat]
Sunburst: Uh, I don't see how that would help.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, yeah! We should just get out of your mane. It's pretty obvious this isn't going how Twilight hoped, and I'm sure you have plenty of important work to do...
Sunburst: What? Oh! Right, yes, heh-heh! Uh, no rest for the wizardly.
Starlight Glimmer: Come on, Spike.
Spike: [groans]
[door closes]
[wind blowing]
Twilight Sparkle: There must be a spell that can restore the Crystal Heart!
Princess Celestia: Perhaps.
Princess Luna: But it isn't something that either of us know.
Princess Cadance: The library here at the castle is nearly as extensive as the one in Canterlot. There's a good chance we can find something there!
Twilight Sparkle: Can you hold off the storm?
Princess Luna: Yes, for a time, but even our magic will eventually succumb to the power of the Frozen North.
Princess Celestia: We will do what we can, but you must hurry.
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know how long it will take to find the right spell, but you should probably tell the crowd outside to get somewhere warm!
Princess Cadance: And try not to mention the Crystal Heart. We don't want to start a panic.
Applejack: Yes, ma'am. C'mon, girls!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna need all of your help. The crystal library is enormous!
Shining Armor: You can count on us, Twily!
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[magic pop]
Pinkie Pie: [shrieks]
[magic pop]
Shining Armor: Where'd she go?!
Flurry Heart: [distant giggling]
Princess Cadance: This way!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, Spike, looks like my biggest fears came true. I wouldn't be surprised if Twilight decides to give up on me entirely.
Spike: Aw, it's not your fault. I'm the one who said all we needed was this list. [blows fire]
Starlight Glimmer: It's not the list, Spike. Or you. Or Twilight. I'm the one Sunburst doesn't want to be friends with.
Spike: I don't remember him saying he didn't want to be friends.
Starlight Glimmer: He didn't have to say it.
Spike: Well, Twilight obviously thinks you're worth being friends with! And I do too!
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks, Spike. At least I have two friends, even if one of them has dragon breath.
Spike: [exhales] Uh, that's not dragon breath. It's freezing!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, you're right! But I thought the Crystal Heart was supposed to keep the cold weather out.
Spike: It is... unless something's happened! Come on!
Rainbow Dash: We're just saying that it might not be the best idea to stay outside!
"Tough Nut": I camped out all night for this spot! I'm not about to just give it up!
Fluttershy: Still, when you think about it, the view is just as good a little further back, like... inside your house?
[Crystal Ponies complaining]
"Scouts Honor": The Crystalling ceremony is one of our most sacred traditions! And when that foal is held before the Crystal Heart, I plan to be as close to the action as possible!
Applejack: Honestly, I don't know if there's gonna be a Crystallin'. The truth is, the baby's an Alicorn and her magic's plum crazy, so you might not wanna be that close after all.
"Tough Nut": A baby Alicorn? Wow, I can't wait to see that!
"Scouts Honor": Oh, those little wings are probably so cute!
"Mustafa Combe": I know, right?
Rainbow Dash: Look, I am a hundred percent sure the Crystalling isn't happening.
[magic zaps]
"Mustafa Combe": No Crystalling, huh? Then why are they starting the fireworks show?
[Crystal Ponies cheering]
Flurry Heart: [giggling throughout]
Shining Armor: Young filly... come back here!
Pinkie Pie: Come to your Auntie Pinkie Pie!
Twilight Sparkle: Bridle Buck's Boat Chants, Hayhoof's Intonements, Mystic Maps and Mazes... [groans] Anything up there?
[magic pop]
Princess Cadance: Not yet! I'm not even sure how these are organized!
[magic pop]
Flurry Heart: [giggling] [sneezes]
[magic pops]
Princess Cadance: Shining Armor, I thought you were taking care of the baby!
Shining Armor: I'm trying!
[magic pops]
Flurry Heart: Whoo!
Rarity: Gotcha!
[magic pops]
Rarity: Oh! Or not...
Flurry Heart: [continued giggling]
[continued magic zaps]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[crash]
Starlight Glimmer: What is going on?!
Pinkie Pie: You want the long or the short version?
Starlight Glimmer: Short?
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] The baby's an Alicorn and she accidentally destroyed the Crystal Heart, so Twilight and Cadance are looking for a spell to put it back together and save the Crystal Empire from turning into a giant wasteland of ice and snow.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh.
[crunch]
Princess Cadance: [gasps] What about this? Trotter's Tome of Reliquary?
[pages turning]
Twilight Sparkle: I think this is it!
Princess Cadance: [reading] "Spell of Relic Reconstitution"! I can't believe we found it!
Twilight Sparkle: It's a good thing, too! Without this, I don't know what we'd do!
[magic pop]
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
[thump]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Oops.
Twilight Sparkle: That spell was the only thing we found in the whole library that was even close to what we needed!
Starlight Glimmer: I'm so sorry, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: It's not your fault, Starlight. None of us were expecting any of this.
Princess Cadance: Do you think you can remember the spell?
Twilight Sparkle: I only read it through once!
Rarity: Well, if anypony can exactly remember something she read for the first time two minutes ago, it's you, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll try. But I'm not sure how long it'll take.
[wind blowing]
Pinkie Pie: Is quickly an option?
Princess Cadance: I'll help if I can, but we should evacuate the city just in case! You need to lead everypony to the train station before the tracks freeze over!
Shining Armor: We will. But between you and Twilight, I'm sure you'll remember the spell.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: I only hope this spell is the one we need.
Starlight Glimmer: Is there anything I can do?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think so. I'm just sorry about your lesson.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, that doesn't matter now. Sunburst and I don't have anything in common anyway. He's a big important wizard! And I'm re-learning everything I ever thought I knew.
Princess Cadance: Sunburst? I don't recognize the name, but if he's an important wizard, you should bring him here. Maybe he'll know what to do if the spell fails.
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Of course!
Twilight Sparkle: You better go with her, Spike.
[thunder cracks]
[magic zaps]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [straining] Sunburst! Haven't you looked outside?!
Sunburst: Snow? That's... not right. The Crystal Heart—
Starlight Glimmer: Is gone! The baby – Shining Armor and Cadance's baby – it's an Alicorn!
Sunburst: Really?
Starlight Glimmer: Really! And her magic is a little berserk, and well, I guess she destroyed the Heart! But Twilight thinks she can fix it and Princess Cadance thought you could help!
Sunburst: Me?
Starlight Glimmer: Of course! You're an important wizard in the Crystal Empire! It just makes sense!
Sunburst: Right... right... right right right. You know, I'd like to help, I-I really would. I-I just have so much, um, important wizard work to do around here.
Spike and Starlight Glimmer: Huh?!
[wind howling]
Applejack: You can't stay here!
"Mustafa Combe": Did I mention this was a Royal Crystalling? When the crystaller holds the young one aloft, all of the Empire will share their joy and light, and the Crystal Heart will beat stronger than it ever has before!
"Scouts Honor": It really is a moving ceremony!
Fluttershy: I really don't think it's going to happen.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, it's freezing out here!
"Tough Nut": Uh, this is the Crystal Empire. We've seen snow before.
Shining Armor: Not like this! We don't have time to argue! Princess Cadance has decided to evacuate the city!
[crowd gasps]
"Mustafa Combe": But the Crystalling...!
Shining Armor: I don't know if we'll ever have another Crystalling again! The Crystal Heart... is shattered.
[crowd gasps]
"Tough Nut": It's not safe here!
Applejack: [groan] That's what we've been tryin' to tell you!
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst, I know you're busy, but did you hear what I said?
Sunburst: Oh, I heard you, but-but like I said, when you're an important wizard, the work just piles up.
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst!
Sunburst: [sighs] Look, Starlight, I want to help. I do. But I can't. I wish I could.
Starlight Glimmer: What do you mean?!
Sunburst: Fixing an ancient relic? I-I can't even come close to doing something like that!
Starlight Glimmer: But I thought you were an important wizard!
Sunburst: Well, you were wrong, okay?! I'm not an important wizard! I'm not even a wizard at all!
Sunburst: I know it's hard for you to understand, but not all of us end up achieving greatness.
Starlight Glimmer: What? Why wouldn't I understand that?
Sunburst: Really? You're the protégé of the Princess of Friendship! I don't think she picks just anypony for that!
Spike: Technically, she's more of a student than a protégé.
Sunburst: Whatever. I'm sorry I'm not the big important wizard you were expecting.
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst, I don't care if you're a wizard or not. I'm just surprised. You always knew so much about magic. I mean, look at all these books!
Sunburst: Yeah, well, reading about magic is one thing, but you don't know what it was like at magic school! To know so much and not be able to do any of it!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, you don't know what it was like to be left behind! And then getting so bitter that you steal the cutie marks from an entire village and then get defeated by Twilight and her friends, so you travel through time to get back at them, but they beat you again and teach you about friendship, but you're so terrified ponies will find out what you did that you can't make any friends!
[long beat]
Sunburst: Did you really travel through time?
Spike: See? I told you he'd be impressed.
Sunburst: I'm sorry we lost touch. Maybe if I had reached out, you could have helped me at magic school, and I could have helped you to...
Starlight Glimmer: Not become totally evil? [sighs] Let's just say I know what it's like to have something you're not exactly proud of.
Sunburst: When you showed up thinking I was some big wizard... I'm sorry. I should have told you the truth.
Starlight Glimmer: It's fine. At least we worked it all out. I think Twilight would be proud of us.
Spike: Well, if you ever want to tell her about it, we should probably leave now!
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] I forgot to tell you! They're evacuating the city! You need to get to the train station, unless you've got a spell here that will drive back the Frozen North and fix the Crystal Heart so the baby can have her Crystalling?
Sunburst: Crystalling...! Of course!
[magic zaps]
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [straining]
Princess Celestia: Push them back, my sister!
[ponies panicking]
Shining Armor: This way!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Applejack: Just a little bit further, y'all! The station's just ahead!
Starlight Glimmer: We have to go back!
Sunburst: I know how to stop this!
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I think that's everything?
Princess Cadance: It looks right to me, but... there's only one way to find out!
[magic zaps, shards tinkling]
[shattering]
Twilight Sparkle: The spell failed. I don't know what else to do.
Princess Celestia: An old student of mine believes he does.
Sunburst: The baby did this?!
Twilight Sparkle: I tried putting it back together with—
Sunburst: The spell of Relic Reconstitution. No, that won't do it. The Crystal Heart's been around for millennia. Restoring a relic like this is way beyond one spell. You need to combine it with something else. Something unique to the relic itself. Something that strengthens it and provides it with power...?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: The Crystalling!
Sunburst: Combining that spell with the light and love of everypony gathered for the ceremony, together with... Somnambula's Weather Abjuration to clear away the snow... and a little Fledgling's Forbearance for the parents... Heh. That should curb the little one's power fluctuations.
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Princess Cadance: You must be Sunburst. Starlight said you were a powerful wizard.
Sunburst: Oh, I'm no wizard.
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: What?
Starlight Glimmer: But he studied magic his whole life! You should see his house! And since nopony has any better ideas, what do we have to lose?!
Shining Armor: I had planned on asking Twilight to be our crystaller, but since it seems like she'll be busy...
Sunburst: I'd be honored!
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, what are we waiting for?!
[magic zaps, shards tinkling]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
[magic zaps]
[wind blowing]
[magic shimmering]
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Sunburst: Citizens! May I present the newest member of the Crystal Empire!
Flurry Heart: [laughs]
[crowd cheers]
"Mustafa Combe": She's beautiful!
"Scouts Honor": Oh! It's just so moving!
[magic noises]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[Crystal Ponies cheering]
[magic zap]
"Tough Nut": Best Crystalling ever!
Starlight Glimmer: For a pony who isn't great at magic, you did pretty well.
Princess Celestia: Indeed. I'm glad to see you've found a way to share your unique gift, Sunburst. You may be more of a wizard than you think.
Night Light: You would not believe the crazy weather that delayed our train. Came out of nowhere.
Twilight Velvet: But it was all worth it to see this peaceful little angel! Awww, so sweet! Come to your grandmare!
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Applejack: Yeah, peaceful now, anyway.
Twilight Sparkle: I suppose that spell really did the trick!
Flurry Heart: [inhales for sneeze]
Mane Six: [shrieks]
Flurry Heart: [sneezes]
[beat]
Shining Armor: We have Sunburst to thank for that.
Princess Cadance: I hope he takes his role as crystaller seriously. Something tells me the baby will need a pony like him to look to for magical advice.
Twilight Velvet: Cadance, darling, aren't we gonna name the poor little dear, or are we gonna spend our entire visit just calling her "the baby"?
Princess Cadance: We were thinking... "Flurry Heart".
Shining Armor: You know, to remember the occasion.
Rarity: Oh, goodness, how could anypony forget?
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's lovely. [kisses]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I think you're the Crystal Empire's big important wizard, whether you like it or not.
Sunburst: I don't know if I'll have time for any wizarding. I'm a crystaller now. That's a big responsibility.
Starlight Glimmer: I can't think of anypony more qualified. Just... promise you'll stay in touch?
Sunburst: Hm, like I'd ever lose touch with my oldest friend.
Spike: What's wrong, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Spike. I think I have a lot to learn about being a teacher.
Spike: What are you talking about? Your lesson went perfectly! Starlight and Sunburst got over their past and rekindled their friendship!
Twilight Sparkle: No thanks to me. I know a lot happened. I just wish I could have given my pupil the attention she deserves.
Spike: Well, I know she needed to be put on the right path, but giving her the space to make her own decisions worked pretty well. Isn't that how Celestia taught you?
Twilight Sparkle: You know, I never thought about it! But I guess it is!
Spike: Maybe you're a better teacher than you thought.
[train chuffing]
[triumphant music over credits]

The Gift of the Maud Pie

[train chuffing]
Pinkie Pie: [singsong] We're going to Manehattan, we're going to Manehattan, we're going to Manehattan...!
Rarity: [nonplussed] Yes, yes, Manehattan, the height of sophistication, elegance, culture... Since my boutique in Canterlot has been doing so nicely, it only makes sense for me to open one there as well.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] We're almost there! Why doesn't your face look like this?! Eee...
Rarity: Oh, Pinkie, dear, this is just a business trip for me. I need to scour the city for the most perfect location for my new shop. And while it's lovely how excited you are, there's absolutely no chance of me getting swept into the– [gasps] [suddenly excited] energy, the beauty, the majesty of the greatest city in all of Equestria!
[doors open]
Rarity: [sighs] This city's simply a-ma-zing! It's just... everything, ever!
Pinkie Pie: And it's about to get everything ever-er! Because guess who I see! M-A-U-D! You know what that spells?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It spells Maud.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
[party cannon fires]
Pinkie Pie: Maud, Maud, Maud! Yay!
[theme song]
Rarity: Oh, you Pie sisters have just about the sweetest family traditions! Every year, you set aside a special day to spend with each of your sisters?
Pinkie Pie: Yep! I do separate trips with each one, and we make it super fun by picking a different location every year! We see the sights all day and then swap gifts at sunset! And since Maud's getting her rocktorate nearby, we figured this would be the perfect spot for PSSSD!
Rarity: [hushed] Okay, what's the secret?
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Rarity: You just said 'pssst'.
Pinkie Pie: No, silly! Not pssst, PSSSD! P-S-S-S-D! Pie Sisters Surprise Swap Day!
[stallion snorts]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles nervously]
Rarity: Maud!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Boulder promised his cousin a postcard.
Rarity: Well, I'll just leave you two to your PSSSD. And now, I am off to scout possible locations for my new boutique!
Pinkie Pie: Before you go, can I ask you a quick question?
Rarity: Oh, of course.
Pinkie Pie: [loudly] Will you please help me?!
Rarity: [nervously] Only if you let go of my leg and stand up...
Pinkie Pie: Every year, Maud's PSSSD gift always blows mine away! But this year is going to be different! For the first time, I'm finally getting her a gift that's as good as the one she always gets me! There's a specialty store here in Manehattan that sells nothing but rock pouches! A rock pouch would be perfect for Boulder, and I know Maud will love it!
Rarity: Why, Pinkie, that really is the perfect gift for Maud!
Pinkie Pie: I know, right? Problem is, I still need to buy one, and the store is downtown!
Rarity: Hmm, and you want to get a pouch for Maud without ruining the surprise... Well, luckily for you, I know exactly what you should do! Why not sight-see on a path that leads right to the pouch store? That way Maud won't get suspicious! I'll come with you to distract Maud, so...
Pinkie Pie: ...I can sneak away to pick out a rock pouch! [gasps] And if you're coming with us, you can look at boutique locations along the way! [shouting] It's the perfect plan! [echoes out]
Rarity: Y-Yes, yes, yes, let's not get too excited until you actually get a pouch for Maud.
Pinkie Pie: Of course. Got it. Absolutely.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Nothing moved him.
Pinkie Pie: Maud! I'm giving you the greatest PSSSD gift in the history of ever!
[party cannon fires]
Rarity: Oh, what a spectacular view! You really can see everything from here!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Especially the glaciation of the sloping strata. It's breathtaking.
Pinkie Pie: But not half as breathtaking as the gift I'm giving you!
[party cannon fires]
Rarity: I-It certainly is– [grunts] –cozy... but this simply won't do! Working in a space this small would make me lose my mind!
Pinkie Pie: Just like Maud's gonna lose her mind when she sees the gift I'm giving her!
[party cannon fires]
[skating sounds]
Rarity: [inhales]
Pinkie Pie: Whatever you were about to say isn't nearly as good as the gift I'm giving Maud!
[party cannon fires]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You'll be pleased with yours too.
[drawing noises]
Rarity: Pinkie, put down that crayon! The Cantering Cook isn't that kind of restaurant!
Pinkie Pie: [spits]
[splash]
Rarity: Oh... A pony could get used to eating at places like this!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I know. It's the only restaurant in the city with nepheline syenite in their bathroom tiles.
Rarity: [stutters] ...Well, isn't that something! [deliberately] You know what, Pinkie Pie? Uh, maybe you could help me figure out what to order!
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] We're so close to the pouch store! It's just a block away! I could practically smell it from here! If I knew what a pouch store smelled like.
[beat]
Rarity: [hushed] Okay, remember the plan. I will stay here and distract Maud while you go get a pouch!
Pinkie Pie: [hushed] Gotcha!
Rarity: [deliberately] Oh, why, thank you for the kind assistance, Pinkie Pie. And now I know exactly what to order.
Pinkie Pie: [deliberately] You are very welcome, Rarity! Now pardon me whilst I go wash my hooves!
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry!
Rarity: So, Maud... that Boulder of yours is such an interesting... ahem... character. You must tell me, how did the two of you first meet?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It was a dark and stormy night. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever.
[cash register rings]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Look at that hand-stitched ten-thousand-thread-count velvet-lined rock pouch! Maud will love it! I need it!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Ungh! Huh, must be stuck! [reading] "Took a sudden vacation to Canterlot with my grandniece. Back in a few moons." Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Well, maybe, just maybe, he's already back from vacation and just forgot to take the sign down! [shouting and pounding on door] Hello, Mr. Pouch Store Owner! I'd like to hear all about your sudden vacation in Canterlot with your grandniece while buying a pouch for my sister please!
Deputy Copper: Miss, the store's clearly closed.
Pinkie Pie: But it can't be. It just can't be! If I can't get that pouch... then not only am I not getting my sister the greatest present in the history of PSSSD, but now I have no PSSSD present for my sister at all!
[door opens]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] ...and Boulder's been by my side ever since.
Rarity: [deadpan] Wow. What a surprisingly suspenseful and compelling story. I completely get what you see in him now. [gasps] Pinkie Pie, you're back! [deliberately] Oh, your hooves must be sparkling clean!
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Oh, right. [sighs]
[beat]
Rarity: Garçon! One super-deluxe two-mile-high hot fudge sundae, stat!
[thump]
Rarity: What happened? Did you get a pouch for Maud? Tell me everything!
Pinkie Pie: [inhales] [quickly] The door to the rock pouch store is locked because the owner's on a sudden vacation to Canterlot with his grandniece for a few moons, and so there's no way I can get the perfect present for Maud, and now I don't have any present for her at all, so it'll be the worst Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day ever! [inhales]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled sobbing]
Rarity: Oh, not to worry, dear! I'll just have to help you find a new present for Maud. We have plenty of time before your gift exchange at sunset and all of Manehattan to explore. We're bound to find something Maud would like. Maybe even more than a rock pouch!
Pinkie Pie: You're right! Thanks, Rarity!
[My Little Pony theme on piano interrupted by upwards glissando]
Rarity: Maud, I can't help but notice you're staring at that marvelous giraffe. I was just wondering, any chance you could see yourself with it?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Only if I had a mirror.
Rarity: Now, Maud, I know you're a big fan of rocks, so get your camera ready, because these are the most spectacular rocks in all of Manehattan! Surely there must be something here that catches your eye.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [hushed] Boulder says they're all too... stuck-up.
[Western-themed music]
Rarity: [whistles] All right. You and me, Maud, you and me. What do you think about... this? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? This? This? This? This? This? [repeats, accelerating into gibberish]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I like... that.
Rarity: What is it? You have to tell me! Was it this bike? This lamp? This grappling hook? What do you like?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I like that fissure in the sidewalk. It's an elegant example of thermal expansion and soil settlement.
[camera flashes]
[sound of kettle boiling]
Rarity: Fissure in thhhhhhhe soil...? What?! But I...! All of this...! And she likes a crack?!
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: Did she like anything?
Rarity: [hushed] That sister of yours is simply impossible to shop for! There's nothing she needs or wants!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [calling out] Boulder. Boulder. Where'd you run off to? There you are. Sure wish I had something to carry you around in.
Pinkie Pie: A rock pouch was the perfect gift for Maud! Aw, and I know she would have loved the one I saw in the window! It had double stitching, a red drawstring...
Rarity: ...and ochre-flecked velvet lining with reinforced triple-crosshatched seams?
Pinkie Pie: Yep, that's the pouch. [beat] Wait, how'd you know?
Rarity: Because I'm looking at one just like it! Maybe if you can catch up with him, you could ask—
[zoom]
Pinkie Pie: Excuse me, sir! I couldn't help but notice your nifty rock pouch! Is there any chance you'd be willing to part with it? I really need it. Like, really really really!
"Street Rat": So lemme get this straight: You, uh, really really need this pouch, huh?
Pinkie Pie: I believe I said really really really.
"Street Rat": Well, you know, pouches like this are really hard to come by these days. But I might be able to part with it for the right price.
Pinkie Pie: So you'll sell it to me? And I'll finally be able to give my sister the perfect Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day present? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
[party cannon fires]
"Street Rat": Hmmm. That's one sweet party cannon you got there. Tell you what. I'd be more than happy to give you the pouch for the low, low price of... that cannon.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] M-My... party cannon...?
"Street Rat": Well, if you really wanna give that sister of yours the perfect present, then you'll have to give up your party cannon. So, what do you say? The pouch for the cannon.
[ding]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Do you see the exposed chalcedony in the fissure?
Rarity: Probably?
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] What you guys lookin' at?
Rarity: Oh, you're back! [to Maud] Darling, I want to get one more picture of you with that astounding fissure in the sidewalk, and the inspiration just struck me for the perfect shot! Uh, be a dear and go stand behind it. Okay, now just, uh, back up a little bit! Little more! And now just a little... uh... twenty yards more! Perfect! Hold that pose! I think we found your new holiday card! [hushed, to Pinkie] So, how did it go? Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Well, I got the rock pouch for Maud, and... that's really the only thing that matters.
Rarity: Oh, I am so glad to hear that! She's going to absolutely love it!
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Yup.
Rarity: "Yup"? That's it? You got your sister the greatest PSSSD present in the history of ever, and all you have to say is "yup"?
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Yup.
Rarity: But... you're Pinkie Pie. You're supposed to be all [quickly] "Oh, I'm so excited I bought the rock pouch! And I know I say excited a lot when I'm actually just kind of excited, but this time I'm really excited about how excited I am about being this excited over the rock pouch!" [normally] And then you fire off your party cannon. Say, where is your cannon? [gasps] Did you lose it? Is your party cannon lost somewhere in the big city?!
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Well... I wouldn't say it's lost. I mean, I know where it is. It's just... [sighs]
Rarity: I can clearly see that something's bothering you, and I want to help. But I can't help you unless you tell me what the problem is.
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Oh, there's no problem. It just turns out that the going rate for a rock pouch in Manehattan is one party cannon. Who knew?
Rarity: You gave away your cannon?! But, but that party cannon is your everything! You absolutely love that cannon! How could you possibly part with something that means so much to you?!
Pinkie Pie: Well, I finally got Maud a gift that's just as good as the ones she always gets me, and that's all that really matters.
Rarity: Well, I guess I understand... maybe.
Pinkie Pie: Maud's going to be so excited. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees the pouch!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I know, the camera loves Boulder.
Rarity: After the day we've had, I'm probably looking forward to the swap part of the Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day even more than the two of you! [giggles] And I'm not even a Pie sister! I can't wait one more second to see the wonderful gifts you've gotten each other!
Pinkie Pie: Well, you're going to have to. We don't just swap, silly. We always sing the Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day Song first! Ready, Maud?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] As I'll ever be.
[Pinkie Pie]
It's the Pie Sisters' Swap Day Sooooooong!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Hey.
Pinkie Pie: Okay, time to swap presents! Hmmmm. [licks]
[beat]
Rarity: [growls] Just open them already!
[paper ripping]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Thanks.
Pinkie Pie: I knew you'd love it! It was all worth it! Look how happy she is! And I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Rarity. Okay! Time to open your present to me! Oh! You did it again! You got me the best present in the history of PSSSD! This is perfect! This is amazing! This is incredible! I love it, I love it, I love it! [beat] What is it?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's little pieces of cupcake-scented paper. You know, confetti. For your cannon.
Pinkie Pie: Maud... [sniffs] You know me so well. You really are the most thoughtful gift-giver in the world! I'm gonna love it five-ever! That's even longer than for-ever. [sighs happily]
Rarity: You're right, that is impressive. But it's no fissure in the sidewalk.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [to Boulder] Play nice.
Rarity: Oh, I'm so relieved to see that you like the pouch. Especially considering what Pinkie Pie had to give up for it. [gasps] Oh!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What?
Rarity: I mean... forget I said that! I'm, I-I-I'm glad to see that you like the pouch. You can remember that part. Just forget the second part. You know, the second part where I said that Pinkie Pie had to give something up— [shrieks] Perhaps I should just stop talking now. Nothing!
Pinkie Pie: Hee-hee, yay! I love my sister and my new confetti!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Why isn't she using her party cannon?
Rarity: Gahhhh...
[dirt dragging noises]
Rarity: [deliberately] Ooh! Wow, look how filthy my hooves are! I really should go wash them!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Where's her cannon?
Rarity: No, no, stop, stop giving me that look! I can't take it! Nnnnn... [quickly] Pinkie Pie feels bad that the gifts that she always gives you are never as good as the ones that you give her!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What?
Rarity: That's why she was willing to give up the party cannon for the pouch!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] She gave up her party cannon?
Pinkie Pie: [blows confetti]
Rarity: Pinkie Pie! You might want to come over here for a second!
Pinkie Pie: I think I know what this is about. You guys wanna ride the swans. Well, there are swan boats, but there are real swans here we can ri—
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You gave away your party cannon?
Rarity: [inhales] She broke me.
Pinkie Pie: Nnngh, it's just... It's just... It's just... You always give better gifts than me! That's why I had to get you the perfect gift! [beat] Are your hooves dirty? Where're you going?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] To get your cannon back.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] There.
Pinkie Pie: Yep! That sure is the pony I got the pouch from!
Rarity: That's amazing! How did you know where he'd be?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Maud Sense.
Pinkie Pie: Runs in the family!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'd like to return this pouch for my sister's party cannon, please.
"Street Rat": Sorry, missy, all sales are final.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [slightly more forcefully] I'd like to return this pouch for my sister's party cannon, please.
Rarity: Ooh, I've never seen her like this! Look at the fire in her eyes! You'd better do what she says!
"Street Rat": Fire in her eyes?
Rarity: Oh! Did she just clench her jaw?! I think she clenched her jaw!
"Street Rat": I didn't see.
Rarity: Oh, no! When she clenches her jaw... you know what that means?!
"Street Rat": What? What's it mean?
Rarity: Trust me, you do not want to know!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'd like to return this pouch.
"Street Rat": [whimpering] Here! Take it, take it, please! Just relax that jaw of yours and turn down that fire in your eyes! [whimpering]
[skidding]
Pinkie Pie: Maud! I'm so happy you got me my party cannon back! Yay!
[party cannon fires]
Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh. I just realized something. 'Cause you gave back the pouch for my cannon, this is now the second gift you've gotten me today! And it's something I really, really wanted! You did it again! Your gifts are always better than mine! Next year, I'm gonna have to really step it up and—
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie, gift giving isn't a competition. It's an expression of love, and you always make sure to give your gifts with lots of love. That's why I'll always love them, and you, five-ever. That's even longer than for-ever.
Pinkie Pie: Awwww! [to Rarity] There you are! You've sure been washing your hooves for a long time! We've got a train to catch here!
Rarity: I know, but there is one more sight you two simply must see before we leave.
Rarity: Voila! Welcome to the future home of "Rarity For You"! What do you think of the place? Is this the right location? Did I pick a good spot?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No. You picked the perfect spot.
Pinkie Pie: You know, I think this might be my favorite PSSSD ever! But I can't wait 'til next year's PSSS-D-W-R!
Rarity: Wait. PSSS-D-W-R? What's that?
Pinkie Pie: P-S-S-S-D-W-R! It's a new tradition that Maud and I came up with! Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day...
Maud Pie: [deadpan] With Rarity.
Rarity: Oh! Ohhh! Why, that's the sweetest... Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no. I know how good you two are at giving gifts! I'm going to have to get you both something amazing, and I only have a year to do it!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rarity! It doesn't matter what you get us! As long as you give your gift with love, it'll be perfect!
Rarity: [sighs] Why, thank you, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Buuuut now that you mention it... I could use more confetti for my party cannon. You wouldn't believe how much of that stuff I go through in a day!
[party cannon fires]
[flute music over credits]

On Your Marks

[banging]
Apple Bloom: Hear ye, hear ye! The first post-cutie mark meetin' of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is now in session!
[long pause]
Apple Bloom: [clears throat]
Sweetie Belle: Oh! I'm sorry, Apple Bloom. I was distracted by the radiance of my cutie mark... Did you say something?
Scootaloo: I mean... it's pretty amazing how the colors just pop off your flank. It's kinda hard to look aw—
[thump]
Apple Bloom: Look, I know our cutie marks are amazing, but is that all we're gonna do now? Just spend our days starin' down at our own flanks?
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] I guess not.
Scootaloo: Yeah, I suppose that could get real boring...
Apple Bloom: [wistfully] Yeah... [beat] This is ridiculous! We need to go out and do somethin'!
Sweetie Belle: Wow, you're right!
Scootaloo: Yeah, we need to go try new stuff like we used to!
Apple Bloom: Exactly.
Sweetie Belle: Like square dancing!
[square dancing music]
Scootaloo: Or mountain climbing! [stock yodel]
Apple Bloom: Or square dancin' on the mountain we just climbed! [same yodel over square dancing music]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah!
Apple Bloom: And the more things we try, the more chances we'll have to finally get our cutie marks! Come on!
Sweetie Belle: Um... Apple Bloom?
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Wow... Did we really only ever do things just to get our cutie marks?
Sweetie Belle: I don't know. Maybe?
Scootaloo: Aw, come on! We did lots of stuff that didn't have anything to do with getting a cutie mark.
Sweetie Belle: Of course we did!
Apple Bloom: Absolutely!
[montage music]
Sweetie Belle: Huh. So now that we don't have to do stuff to get our cutie marks, what is it that the Cutie Mark Crusaders actually do?
Apple Bloom: We do exactly what we got our cutie marks in!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Helping other ponies!
Scootaloo: Ponies without cutie marks!
Sweetie Belle: Or ponies who've forgotten their special purpose!
Apple Bloom: Exactly! We just have to find ponies who need our help! Come on!
Sweetie Belle: But are you sure you feel content?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Scootaloo: Not even a tinge of dissatisfaction?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Apple Bloom: Not even the slightest naggin' sensation that you don't really know what your purpose is in life or why you have a big apple as a cutie mark?
[thump]
Big McIntosh: [grunts] [spits] [annoyed] Nnnope.
Apple Bloom: The important thing to remember is that there is no rush.
Scootaloo: The three of us tried for the longest time, but it just comes when it comes!
Sweetie Belle: And it's totally normal to feel confused and maybe even a little lost. But being a blank flank is nothing to be ashamed of.
Scootaloo: So if you're having even the slightest problem...
Sweetie Belle: ...or concerns or questions...
Apple Bloom: ...we want you to know that we are here to help.
Mrs. Cake: I... don't think they're too worried about it yet.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [babbling]
[montage music]
[scrolls unrolling]
[door opens]
[door shuts]
[bits jingling]
[bubblegum popping]
Apple Bloom: This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought.
Sweetie Belle: Who knew there were so few ponies worried about their cutie marks?
Scootaloo: Kinda makes you wonder why we made such a big deal out of it for so long.
[beat]
Scootaloo: What?
Apple Bloom: The point is, helpin' ponies with cutie mark problems is what makes us special.
Sweetie Belle: But if we can't find anypony with a problem...
Scootaloo: ...Maybe we're not special.
Bulk Biceps: Yeah! I know exactly what you mean. You can't find a cutie mark problem. I have a cutie mark problem. It's so confusing, and I feel like the solution is staring me right in the muzzle.
[beat]
Bulk Biceps: What?
Bulk Biceps: I see why you guys hang out here! It's cozy!
Scootaloo: [straining] The Crusader Clubhouse is a safe place, Mr... um... Bulk.
Sweetie Belle: A place where we faced all kinds of cutie mark problems!
Apple Bloom: A place where we'll go on to solve even more! Startin' with yours!
Scootaloo: No matter how long it takes!
Sweetie Belle: Or how hard it is!
Apple Bloom: We'll solve it because that's what we do!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah! [straining]
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
Sweetie Belle: So... what's your cutie mark problem?
Bulk Biceps: Oh, right. Uh, well, my cutie mark is a dumbbell, but I've lifted every dumbbell in Ponyville!
Scootaloo: [nervously] Have you tried lifting other things?
Bulk Biceps: You mean, not dumbbells?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah!
Apple Bloom: Yeah!
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
[crunch]
Bulk Biceps: Oof! I mean... no. I hadn't thought of that. You guys are awesome!
[crunch]
Bulk Biceps: But... what happens when I run out of other stuff?
Sweetie Belle: ...I guess you could teach other ponies to lift things?
Apple Bloom: Yeah!
Scootaloo: Yeah!
Bulk Biceps: Yeah! Wow, you three really have a knack for this!
Sweetie Belle: That was easy!
Apple Bloom: Maybe too easy.
Scootaloo: What do you mean?
Apple Bloom: Well, it's lookin' like cutie mark problems are few and far between.
Sweetie Belle: And...?
Apple Bloom: And what if we never find another one?
Scootaloo: Well...
Apple Bloom: And even if we do, we could solve it so quick, it'll be like it never happened in the first place!
Sweetie Belle: So...?
Apple Bloom: So... then the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't have any reason to exist!
Sweetie Belle: The problem boils down to this – we don't need to go out and do things anymore to get our cutie marks.
Apple Bloom: Right! And—
Scootaloo: Ponies with cutie mark problems are hard to find.
Apple Bloom: Exactly. But even when we find problems, we're so good at solvin' them that most of the time there's nothin' for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to do. So...
[map unfurling]
Apple Bloom: I thought we should start figurin' out ways to search all of Equestria for cutie mark problems!
Scootaloo: That kinda seems like a lot.
Sweetie Belle: I don't think Rarity would let me travel to the far reaches of Equestria looking for cutie mark problems.
Scootaloo: Yeah, I'm sure we'll come across them in Ponyville. And when we do, we'll totally solve them because we are so awesome at it!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Hoof!
Apple Bloom: But... what do we do until then?
Sweetie Belle: Maybe whatever we want?
Apple Bloom: What do you mean?
Sweetie Belle: Well, we used to only do stuff to get our cutie marks or fulfill our destiny, but now we don't have to.
Apple Bloom: So... we can do things just for fun? Are you girls thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Sure am!
Apple Bloom:
Makin' potions!
Scootaloo:
Scootering!
Sweetie Belle:
Singing!
Scootaloo: Just remember – stomp, kick, and roll! After this, you two are gonna love scootering as much as me!
Apple Bloom: If you say so.
Scootaloo: Ready? Stomp, kick, and roll! Whooo!
[tires screeching]
Scootaloo: Ta-da!
[thump]
[thump]
Apple Bloom: [nervous laugh] I don't think I did it right.
Sweetie Belle: [blows pitch pipe] Do... Mi... So... It's just a simple harmony.
Scootaloo: Harmony, huh?
Sweetie Belle: [tapping with baton] And a-one, and a-two, and a-one two three!
Sweetie Belle:
[on-key]
Do...
Apple Bloom:
[off-key]
So...!
Scootaloo:
[very off-key]
Mi!
Scootaloo: Wow, that was simple!
[snap]
Apple Bloom: It's just a dash, and a drop, and a drip!
[clink]
Apple Bloom: Just a dash, and a drop, and a drip!
[poof]
[clink]
Apple Bloom: ...and even though Scootaloo thinks bungee jumping is the bee's knees...
[pen squeaking]
Apple Bloom: ...Sweetie Belle would rather keep bees.
[pen squeaking]
Apple Bloom: [spits] Of course, I'm allergic. Who'd've thought it'd be so hard to find somethin' for us all to do together?
Scootaloo: Well, I know this might sound crazy, but what if we didn't?
Apple Bloom: Didn't what?
Scootaloo: Do things together. Well, do everything together.
Apple Bloom: But we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Scootaloo: And we always will be! But I really wanna bungee jump! The speed, the height, the fall!
Sweetie Belle: And I know you two aren't interested, but I wanna try crochet.
Scootaloo: Isn't there something you've always wanted to do on your own?
Apple Bloom: I don't know... I guess I figured we'd always do stuff together. But bungee jumping sounds just as scary as crochet sounds borin'.
Scootaloo: That's okay. Sweetie Belle and I can do the things we like, and you can do whatever you like!
Sweetie Belle: Just as soon as you figure out what it is.
Apple Bloom: I guess...
Scootaloo: Great! Then we can meet back here and talk all about what we've done!
Apple Bloom: But I don't know what it'll be.
Sweetie Belle: You'll find something!
Scootaloo: Something awesome!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Well... I guess now I have to.
[Apple Bloom]
I never imagined myself out on my own
Tryin' to find out what's next for me
The Cutie Mark Crusaders have always been my home
Maybe now there's more that I could be
I guess as time goes by
Everypony has to go out on their own
And maybe someday I'll have to try
Somethin' new that's just for me
A little somethin' that could be
Just my own and I won't feel so left behind
We used to say that we'd be always side by side
Maybe things are changin' and this could mean goodbye
I always thought our friendship was all I'd ever need
We've always been crusadin' – what else is there for me?
I guess as time goes by
Everypony has to go out on their own
And maybe someday I'll have to try
Somethin' new that's just for me
A little somethin' that could be
Just my own and I won't feel so left behind
Hoofer Steps: [muffled] And one, two, three, four, two, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, two, two, three, four—
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Whatever kind of dancin' y'all are doin', you're doin' it together, and I want in! [beat] I-I mean, uh, [clears throat] Would it be okay if I enrolled in this dance class?
Hoofer Steps: Well, let's see what you can do. We have a recital at town hall tonight, and a spot just opened up! [hushed] Tender Taps is a little too shy to perform. But if you're ready to step into a partnered routine...
Apple Bloom: That sounds an awful lot like friendship! And I'm ready for anything I don't have to do by myself!
Hoofer Steps: Well then! Dancing with partner will be perfect. [claps]
[slow tango music]
Apple Bloom: Whooooooa!
[faster tango music]
Apple Bloom: Whoa, whoaaa!
[sound of skittles being knocked over]
[thump]
Apple Bloom: Whew! I feel like that went pretty good, but let's give it one more whirl, because it's important that I do a good job partnering with my new group of friends.
Hoofer Steps: Eh... Now I'm think of it, you might be better as soloist.
Hoofer Steps: Uh, partnering is a little advanced for you. But there's still lots you can do on your own.
Apple Bloom: I'm sorry, but doin' stuff on my own is exactly what I don't want.
[door opens]
Tender Taps: Sorry it didn't work out.
Apple Bloom: Tryin' different things with my friends is always fun, even when we were terrible. Now it's just terrible.
Tender Taps: You weren't that bad. You just need to learn a few things on your own. Being a soloist can be fun! [tap dancing] Ha. Haha! You just have to do it with feeling!
[beat]
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Thanks, but... without my friends, I don't think I'll ever feel again. Good luck at the recital.
Tender Taps: Oh, I'm not gonna do that. I mean, I want to. It's kind of all I think about. I bet some day my cutie mark will even be about performing! But I could never dance in front of an audience the way I do in class. That's t-t-t-t-terrifying!
Apple Bloom: [deadpan] Yeah, okay. Nice meetin' you.
Tender Taps: You, too. [tap dancing]
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle! You are not gonna believe this, but I think I like bungee jumping even more than scootering!
Sweetie Belle: Seriously?! That's amazing! Look what I did!
Scootaloo: Wow, uh, that's, um...
Sweetie Belle: Horrible! But it was so much fun! Rarity showed me how, even though she says [imitating Rarity] "Crochet is knitting's poorer cousin", [normal] but I loved it!
Scootaloo: Awesome!
[door creaks open]
Apple Bloom: Oh, hello, girls. Have fun pursuing your own interests?
Scootaloo: Apple Bloom? What are you doing sitting in the dark?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah, we thought you'd be out looking for things you like to do.
Apple Bloom: [laughs] I did. I looked all over town. I looked... and I looked... and I looked... and you know what I found? Nothin'!
[blind snaps up]
Scootaloo: You tried every one of these?
Apple Bloom: And each one just made me feel more alone than the next! I don't see how I'm supposed to be happy that we're not hanging out anymore!
Scootaloo: Wait, I never said that. I just said we don't have to do everything together.
Sweetie Belle: Like when there's something one of us wants to do that the others don't.
Apple Bloom: Oh. [beat] Well, I guess that changes things.
Scootaloo: I can't believe you thought we didn't want to hang out anymore.
Sweetie Belle: I can't believe you tried all this stuff and didn't find one thing you liked!
Apple Bloom: Well, I kind of liked dancin', mainly because it looked like somethin' you couldn't do alone, but... I wasn't very good at it.
Sweetie Belle: Well, you don't have to be good at something to have fun!
Scootaloo: And being good doesn't always mean you will.
Apple Bloom: I know... I met the best dancer in the world, but he was so shy, he couldn't bring himself to perform, even though he really, really wanted to.
Sweetie Belle: I don't suppose this dancing pony had a cutie mark, did he?
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: You're here!
Shoeshine: Shhhh!
[audience cheering]
[door opens]
Tender Taps: What are you doing here?
Apple Bloom: You told me that you wanted to perform more than anythin', but I was too caught up in myself to listen. You're the best dancer I've ever seen, and I'm here to convince you to get out on that stage!
[piano playing]
Tender Taps: Um, didn't I also tell you that dancing in front of other ponies is t-t-terrifying?! I don't know if you noticed, but that auditorium is full of other ponies! I can't go out there! What if I'm bad?!
Apple Bloom: We can go on together! No matter what, you'll look good dancin' next to me.
[audience cheering]
Tender Taps: [sighs] All right, I'll do it. But I don't have my costume, and the backdrop is all wrong, and we don't have time to change it!
Apple Bloom: Leave everything to us.
Tender Taps: [nervously] I don't know about this...
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, you'll be just fine!
[piano stops playing]
Apple Bloom: Here goes nothin'...
[clunking]
[audience member coughs]
Tender Taps: [gulps]
[jazz-type music starts]
Apple Bloom: [clunky tap dancing]
[thump]
[audience laughing]
Apple Bloom: Can't be any worse than I was!
Tender Taps: [tentatively, then progressively more confident tap dancing] [heavy breathing]
[pause, then audience cheering]
[cutie mark zap]
Tender Taps: I can't believe it! It's just what I always imagined it would be! And if it weren't for all of you, I wouldn't even have it.
Scootaloo: No problem!
Sweetie Belle: It's what we do.
Apple Bloom: I only wish I'd realized what you needed right away instead of mopin' around for no reason...
Tender Taps: Well, either way, I hope you keep dancing. [short tap-dancing burst]
Apple Bloom: [taps] You know, I just might! It sure is a lot of fun, and I'm pretty confident I can only get better. [to the Crusaders] I'm sorry I was so silly about us all doin' our own things. If we hadn't, I might never even have tried dancin'!
Tender Taps: Or find out I needed help!
Sweetie Belle: With each of us going out and trying things on our own, we'll be three times as likely to find ponies to help!
Scootaloo: And trying new stuff might even make us better at helping them, like how I used my bungee jumping to change the sets!
Sweetie Belle: Or my crochet to make the costumes!
Apple Bloom: Well, one thing is for sure. The Cutie Mark Crusaders will never be the same. We'll be better!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah!
[jazz-type music over credits]

Gauntlet of Fire

[magic aura noises]
[gems clacking]
Spike: [licks lips]
Rarity: [hushed] The last time I was here, I woke them and ended up with a mane full of bats! [sighs] Thanks for being my basket holder, Spike.
Spike: Basket holder? I thought I was your bodyguard.
Rarity: [hushed] What? Oh, heh, yes, yes, that of course, too. Oh, for once I wish unicorn magic wasn't so... luminescent!
[gems clacking]
Rarity: [hushed] Spike! You'll wake the bats! Turn that off!
Spike: Ugh, I can't! [groans]
Rarity: [gasps]
[bats squeaking]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you two could come!
Princess Luna: Of course. We so rarely get a chance to relax and just visit.
Princess Celestia: There's usually some crisis we have to deal with. Somepony always needs our help. But today—
Rarity: [muffled, wailing] Help!
[door opens]
Rarity: Twilight! There's something wrong with Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong?
Spike: [grunts] I don't know! Nngh! All of a sudden, my scales just started glowing and... burning!
Princess Luna: Little is known about dragon culture, but this is a phenomenon we've seen before. It is the call of the Dragon Lord.
Princess Celestia: Dragons glow whenever the Dragon Lord has need of them in the Dragon Lands.
Spike: Great... H-How do I make it stop?!
Princess Luna: The only way to end the summons is to answer it. You must journey to the Dragon Lands and see what is expected of you.
Rarity: B-B-But the Dragon Lands are full of... dragons! And they're ghastly creatures! [beat] Oh, oh, not you, of course, Spikey-wikey. But remember that rotten Garble?
Spike: [gulps] How could I forget? He would have burnt us to a crisp if you weren't there. If I have to go to the Dragon Lands, would you two come with me?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! Oh my goodness, I'd love to! We are sadly lacking any information on dragon culture and customs. I could research them – maybe even write an article! This could be my chance to make a great contribution to the knowledge of Equestria! [beat] And be there for Spike, heh, of course.
Princess Celestia: Be very careful. The Dragon Lands are particularly dangerous for ponies. It would be wise to be discreet.
Rarity: Ooh! I'm sure I still have the dragon costume we used the last time we snuck into the Dragon Lands! [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: I think we might want something a little more practical this time.
Rarity: Hmmm... Well, it may be practical, but this disguise isn't flattering in the slightest!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] It's not supposed to be flattering. It's supposed to blend in!
Spike: Shh!
Garble: Hey-hey, look! It's our old friend Sparkle-warkle.
Spike: It's Spike.
Garble: Are you sure your pony friends didn't give you a pony name?
Spike: It's nice to see you too, Garble.
Garble: I didn't say it was nice to see you. It's not. I don't like you. Was I not clear about that?
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: [grunt]
Spike: Hey! That's my rock!
Garble: Oh, really? Then why aren't you sitting on it?
[teenage dragons laughing]
Dragon Lord Torch: Dragons of Equestria, hear me! I have been Dragon Lord for longer than many of you can remember, and my reign has been extraordinary! [beat] Agree with me!
Dragons: [general agreeing noises] Torch! Torch! Torch! Torch!
Spike: Who is that?
Garble: It's Dragon Lord Torch, dummy.
Spike: No, next to him.
Garble: That's his daughter, Princess Ember. I wouldn't even look at her if I were you, unless you want Torch to eat you!
Spike: [gulps]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] This is fascinating! Dragons are notoriously reckless, but they do whatever the Dragon Lord says!
Dragon Lord Torch: Unfortunately, according to dragon law, it is time for me to step down. Sad, I know. [beat] Be sad!
[dragons crying]
Dragon Lord Torch: This is why I have summoned you – to compete for the throne in the Gauntlet of Fire!
[dragons cheering]
Dragon Lord Torch: Whomever has the strength and fortitude to retrieve this bloodstone scepter from the heart of the flame-cano will be crowned Lord of the Dragons!
[explosion]
[magic shimmering]
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] When the scepter disappeared, the dragons stopped glowing! We are learning so much!
Rarity: [prepares to sneeze] [sneezes]
Spike: Uh, excuse me!
Garble: Ugh, you even sneeze like a pony!
Dragon Lord Torch: The Gauntlet is dangerous, for I designed it myself! Only dragons with my ferocity, strength, and determination will be able to finish. We will gather at the cliff when the sun is at its peak!
[dragons cheering]
Spike: I don't want to be Dragon Lord or dragon toast, and I stopped glowing, so let's sneak out of here!
Dragon Lord Torch: Ah! Where do you think you're going, little dragon?!
Spike: Oh, uh, hi, your Lordship. Uh, I was just going home!
Dragon Lord Torch: You don't get to leave unless I say you can!
Princess Ember: Dad, look at him. He's just a runt. Besides, he doesn't even wanna compete. Let him go.
Dragon Lord Torch: He is rather tiny, heh-heh. I could squish him with my pinky claw. [chuckles]
Spike: [nervous chuckle]
Dragon Lord Torch: That wasn't a joke. It was a fact. When I want you to laugh, I will say "be amused!"
Spike: Of course, your Lordship! I, uh, guess I don't understand dragon customs. Another reason why I shouldn't compete.
Dragon Lord Torch: [sighs] Hm. Very well then, little dragon. I release you.
Spike: Thank you! [to Ember] And thank you.
Dragon Lord Torch: [grunts] Where do you think you're going?
Princess Ember: To prepare for the Gauntlet.
Dragon Lord Torch: No, you're not. You're not much bigger than that runt I just sent home!
Princess Ember: But I'm smarter than most of these boulderheads and you know it!
Dragon Lord Torch: Being smart won't help you win this Gauntlet! It was designed for a big, strong dragon to win, because it takes a big, strong dragon to lead! Besides, I said no!
Princess Ember: [growls] I hate when he does that!
[dragons chatting]
Maar: Ha. When I become Dragon Lord, I will make burps an official greeting!
"Barry": Ha, you? Please! When I win, I will pillage Equestria for all their pillows. Why should these ponies be comfortable while we sleep on rocks?
Garble: That's nothing! When I'm in charge, the first thing I'll do is get revenge on those puny ponies! They'll regret they ever crossed Garble! We'll take whatever we want from Equestria and burn the rest!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Oh, my gosh!
Rarity: [hushed] Ooh, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I hope that burping dragon wins!
Spike: None of them can win! Equestria's in big trouble if any of them are in charge!
Twilight Sparkle: But what can we do?
Spike: There's only one thing to do, and only I can do it! I have to win the Gauntlet of Fire!
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: Oh...
Rarity: What do you mean you have to win the Gauntlet?
Spike: It's the only way to protect Equestria from the dragons. You heard them! They have horrible plans for ponies if they win! So somehow, I have to do it!
Twilight Sparkle: There has to be another way. It's too dangerous. Besides, if you win, you'd have to stay here!
Spike: I know, but there's no other way to keep my friends safe.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you're staying to compete, then we're staying to cheer you on!
Dragon Lord Torch: I thought I released you, tiny one!
Spike: I decided to compete. I am a dragon, after all.
Garble: Are you sure? You can't even fly!
[dragons laughing]
Dragon Lord Torch: All dragons are welcome to compete, but they do so at their own peril! Flying to Flame-cano Island is the first of many challenges you will face in your quest to find the bloodstone scepter! [roars]
[dragon commotion]
Garble: Good luck! Just kidding. I hope you lose.
[smack]
Spike: [scream]
[splash]
Spike: [gasps] [sarcastically] Thanks, Garble! I was planning on swimming anyway!
Rarity: You can do it, Spike!
[sea worms roaring]
[splash]
Spike: He's gonna drown!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
[bubbling]
Spike: [gasps] [panting]
Spike: Hey, are you okay?
Princess Ember: [coughing]
Spike: [gasps] Princess Ember!
Princess Ember: What do you think you're doing?
Rarity: Only saving your ungrateful scales!
Princess Ember: Did that seaweed just talk? Ponies?! What are they doing here?!
Spike: They're my friends!
Princess Ember: Friends? Dragons don't do friends.
Spike: Well, this dragon does.
Princess Ember: Whatever. I don't care as long as none of you get in my way. I have a Gauntlet to win.
Spike: But I thought your dad said that—
Princess Ember: I don't care what my dad said! I'll show him and every dragon who thinks I'm just a little princess there are better things than being big and strong!
[slingtail grunts]
[thwack]
Garble: [scream] [grunts] Don't leave me here, Spike!
Spike: [straining]
Garble: Ha-ha! Knew you'd do it. Your pony friends made you soft.
Spike: Uh-huh. You're welcome.
Garble: For what? I didn't say thank you. [sniffs] Wow, you even smell like ponies. [sniffs] Or is it coming from over there? [sniffing]
Princess Ember: [gruff voice] Uh, that's just me. I, uh, robbed some ponies on my way over here.
Garble: Huh, I like your style. Have I met you before? You kind of look like—
Spike: My, uh, old neighbor! Uh, Sandy... Rockbeach!
Garble: Stupid slingtails knocked me down! But I've wasted enough time making small talk. Get it? Ha-ha! Because you're too small to win this! I'm funny.
Princess Ember: Why did you cover for me? You could've had one less competitor.
Spike: I could ask you the same thing. You could've told Garble about my friends.
[Wilhelm scream]
[thumps]
Princess Ember: Yikes... That looks rough. But that's what makes it a challenge.
Spike: Are you kidding? Those boulders are huge! Hey, what if we worked together? You fly me up there, and I'll help look out for boulders, like a second set of eyes!
Rarity: Pssst!
[flump]
Rarity: [hushed] Spike! Are you sure it's a good idea to team up with Ember? You don't know her too well.
Spike: I do know she could've told Garble about you, but she didn't. I think we can trust her.
Twilight Sparkle: Her behavior does seem contradictory to everything I've noted about dragons so far.
Princess Ember: Hey, you, little fella! I've thought about it, and your plan makes sense. Let's do it.
Spike: Really? Great! It's a deal!
Princess Ember: Just so you know, this doesn't mean we're gonna pick flowers or exchange necklaces or whatever pony friends do.
Twilight Sparkle: Good luck. We'll meet you at the top.
[dragon commotion]
Spike: Pull up! There's one on your tail!
Princess Ember: [yelps]
Spike: Go left!
Spike: So what do we do now?
Princess Ember: I think we go through there.
[roar of flame]
[dragons whimpering]
Rarity: [yelps] Oh, that looks scary! I mean, you can do it!
Princess Ember: Listen, Spike. I wouldn't have made it this far without you. So I guess, if you want to, we could keep working together. I mean, just until we get through that tunnel.
Spike: Okay!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] We'll be right behind you!
[crunching]
Garble: [straining]
[crunch]
Garble: [groaning]
[various "shing"s]
Spike: [gasps] Oof!
[thud]
Garble: Urgh!
[shing!]
Garble: [groaning]
Rarity: Oh, you made it! Oh, we were so worried!
Spike: About us? [scoffs] That tunnel was cake! [groans]
[thump]
Princess Ember: Wait. How did you two get through?
[rumbling]
Rarity: [yelps]
Spike: Rarity!
Rarity: [yelps] [panting] Oh, thanks, Spike!
Spike: [sighs] It was nothing.
Princess Ember: Nothing? You just risked everything to save her! And they're putting themselves in danger just to support you!
Spike: Well, that's just what friends do. Don't you have anyone who looks out for you?
Princess Ember: Not really. Unless I count you. [beat] Which I don't! Because we were only helping each other get through the tunnel, and now we're through the tunnel, so that's it.
Spike: Wait, what do you mean?
Princess Ember: Well, there's only one winner, one scepter, and one Dragon Lord. So I guess it's every dragon for themselves.
Spike: Oh. So we aren't really friends?
Princess Ember: Maybe if we were in Ponyland, but like I said, dragons don't do friendship.
Spike: I can't believe Ember ditched me.
Rarity: [muffled] Oh, you're better off. She was only looking out for herself. She's just like all the other dragons.
Spike: She's not, though. I know it. She saved me, even when she didn't have to. I don't care what she says. That makes us friends.
Twilight Sparkle: Is it just me, or have we seen this crevasse three times already?
Spike: It's kinda hard to tell. They all look the same. Except for this one! Look! We made it! I can't believe I'm the only dragon to make it this far!
Garble: You're not! And I'm not losing to a puny pony-loving dragon like you!
Rarity: [yelps] [muffled] We have to do something!
Twilight Sparkle: [muffled] Look!
[thump]
Garble: [yelps]
Spike: [screaming] Ember! I thought it was every dragon for themselves! Why did you save me?!
Princess Ember: That's what friends do! And I am. I mean, we are. I never should have left you back there. Agh, please don't make me talk about my feelings!
Garble: What the?! [growls]
Princess Ember: Spike! Get the scepter! [grunts]
[thump]
Garble: [straining] Argh! Whoa!
Princess Ember: [straining]
[thump]
[ding!]
Garble: [frustrated grunt] I'm sick and tired of you two helping each other! Dragons don't do helping!
Princess Ember: These dragons do! [grunts]
[thump]
[dragons chattering]
Spike: [panting] Whoa...
[ding!]
[magic roaring]
[explosion]
Spike: Leave her alone!
Garble: What? You?! You have the scepter?! But that means that you're...
Princess Ember: The Dragon Lord. Dragon Lord Spike.
Garble: [groans] [reluctantly] Dragon... Lord... Spike...
Spike: That's right! Uh... Now, go start your long journey home. And give every dragon you see on the way a hug. Don't tell them why.
Garble: Awww! But that'll be super embarrassing!
Spike: I command you to do it!
Garble: [annoyed noise] I can't believe this...
Princess Ember: Dragon Lord Spike. Hm, has a nice ring to it.
Spike: Dragon Lord Ember sounds a lot better.
Princess Ember: What? No. You're the Dragon Lord now.
Spike: The Dragon Lord is whoever brings the scepter back to your father! Besides, you'll make a great leader. I was just doing this to protect the ponies. But I know you'll protect them just as well as I would have.
Princess Ember: You sure about this?
Spike: Absolutely. My home is in Equestria with my friends.
Princess Ember: Well, you'll have at least one friend here too. What are you doing?
Spike: It's called a hug!
Princess Ember: Oh. I don't know if I like it. But... okay.
Spike: Mmmmm!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Awww!
Rarity: [giggles]
[magic shimmering]
Dragon Lord Torch: Ember? You?!
Princess Ember: I know you didn't think I could do it, but I did.
Dragon Lord Torch: I expressly told you not to do it, because you're not—!
Princess Ember: I'm not big and strong. I know. But you know what? I won anyway. So maybe it takes more than just being big and strong to be a good Dragon Lord!
Dragon Lord Torch: I was wrong, Ember. You might not be big, but you are strong and smart, and perhaps that counts for more than I thought. And you will make an excellent leader.
Princess Ember: Thanks, dad. [to dragons] Agree with him! Just kidding! That's not gonna be my thing.
Dragon Lord Torch: [laughing] Dragons, hear me! I present to you our new Dragon Lord, Ember!
[dragons cheering]
Dragon Lord Torch: [to Garble] Hm? What is the meaning of this?!
Garble: I can't tell you!
Princess Ember: [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: You did well, Spike. With Ember as Dragon Lord, the ponies will be safe and you've gained us a powerful ally.
Spike: And a new friend!
Twilight Sparkle: Plus, Ember said I could write to her anytime I had questions about dragon culture! With this much information, I'll be able to write a whole book on dragons!
Rarity: And I gained tons of ideas for a new line of camouflage clothing! I think I'll call it "Camo-Maud"!
Rarity, Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [laughing]
[credits]

No Second Prances

[wheels squeaking]
[light thud]
Twilight Sparkle: First lesson of the day, we very carefully set the table without using magic, so that— Yikes!
[silverware clattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Did you...?! How? When? What?!
Starlight Glimmer: What?
Twilight Sparkle: I said no magic. You were supposed to do it by hoof so I could work in a friendship lesson.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I heard "set the table" and just kinda went for it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you hadn't used magic, you'd have heard me say, uh... this plate represents your head, this spoon is your heart, and the knives... are sharp! Always be careful with knives. [sigh] The metaphors make more sense when you're actually setting the table.
Starlight Glimmer: Should I... change it back?
Twilight Sparkle: I just want to make sure you're ready for this dinner. Princess Celestia will be joining us tomorrow night to see how the friendship lessons are going!
Starlight Glimmer: If it's just you, me, and Princess Celestia, why are there four seats?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the whole point is for you to bring a new friend. That way, the princess will see for herself just how far you've come. And how good a teacher you have.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I can't choose. I like all your friends.
Twilight Sparkle: That's the best part! You have to make a new friend!
Starlight Glimmer: New friends? Hey, maybe I'll just force friendships by magically enslaving the entire population of Ponyville!
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: Kidding! [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: Let's see. Make new friends in Ponyville, the friendliest place in Equestria. Shouldn't be hard...
Pinkie Pie: Need to make a new friend, huh? I know just the pony for you!
Pinkie Pie: Miss Starlight Glimmer, meet Mrs. Cake!
[small splats]
Mrs. Cake: How are you, dearie?
Starlight Glimmer: Are you baking? Can I help?
[magic whirls]
Pinkie Pie: Wow, Mrs. Cake! Look what your new friend made you!
Mrs. Cake: [chuckles] New friend. I like the sound of– [gasps] Howza-wowza! A-Are you trying to put me out of business with your fancy magical-thingy-whatsit cake?!
[splat]
Mrs. Cake: [yelps and spits]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry...
Pinkie Pie: [licks, swallows] In her defense, it is delicious! [chomps]
[thump]
[apples falling]
Applejack: I think I have just the pony for you, Starlight. Meet Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Applejack: He's not much of a talker.
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, that's too bad. I love a good conversation.
[magic wisps]
Big McIntosh: [motormouth] Eeyup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-yup-y-y-y-y-you did something! Whoa! What's happening? I feel really weird! I'm talkin' so much! And I'm so articulate! Enunciating with such precise pronunciation! Annie Apple awoke and accidentally ate an auburn azalea! [screams] Make it stop!
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: I can't be friends with somepony who doesn't talk.
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: ...And I guess my first instinct shouldn't be to magically command ponies to act the way I want them to?
Applejack: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: Alright, I'll change him back!
Rarity: The trick to finding a new friend is to render yourself radiant. First impressions count a great deal, you know.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm glad you all got past my first impression.
Rarity: Well, everypony deserves a second chance. Ooh! Now, I have a top-notch idea. I'm thinking pastel silk here and here with a crinoline underneath.
Starlight Glimmer: You really think a new outfit will help me meet ponies?
Rarity: Oh, with the right outfit, you can do anything, darling!
Starlight Glimmer: When will it be ready?
Rarity: Three weeks.
Starlight Glimmer: Dinner's tomorrow.
Rarity: Well then, how about a hat from the... [clears throat] ...clearance bin?
[fabric ripping]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! Maybe not.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Nopony's gonna make friends with you because of your outfit. The only thing you want a new friend draped in is coolness.
Starlight Glimmer: Like you?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but you already know me, so... [gasps] [spitting] Spitfire! Heh. Sorry.
Starlight Glimmer: Who's that?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Only the Wonderbolt-iest pony in the Wonderbolts! Come on, I'll introduce you!
[sonic boom]
Rainbow Dash: You coming or what?
Starlight Glimmer: I guess my first question would be, "What's a Wonderbolt?"
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] You've never heard of the Wonderbolts?! Where have you been?!
Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Enslaving villages, I guess...
Rainbow Dash: Right.
Angel: [giggling]
Starlight Glimmer: You're adorable, but probably not what Twilight had in mind.
Fluttershy: [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: [groan] What is going on? This is Ponyville! If I can't make a friend here, there's gotta be something wrong with me! [sighs] Okay, calm down. Nobody makes friends with a total stresscase.
[more ponies chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: [to herself] Stop stressing... Stop stressing!
[long beat]
[door opens and shuts]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] This is just what I needed.
Trixie: [sighs] Tell me about it.
Starlight Glimmer: You ever have one of those days?
Trixie: For me, they're all one of those days.
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles]
Trixie: I'm gonna start coming here every time I visit Ponyville.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm not from here either. I've been trying to make friends, but it's not easy. They're not saying it, but I think everypony knows about my past. I may have been a tiny bit... completely and utterly evil?
Trixie: Ponies judge me on my past too.
Starlight Glimmer: Finally, a pony I can relate to.
Twilight Sparkle: Soup spoon, salad fork, pasta spoon, strawberry pick. I'm beginning to think that after friendship, the greatest magic of all is proper silverware placement! [giggles]
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight, guess what? I made a new friend!
Twilight Sparkle: That's fantastic news!
Starlight Glimmer: She's great!
Twilight Sparkle: Great!
Starlight Glimmer: She's powerful!
Twilight Sparkle: Powerful?
Starlight Glimmer: She's—
Trixie: Hello... princess!
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?!
Starlight Glimmer: You know each other?
Twilight Sparkle: You could say that.
Trixie: We've had our differences. What matters is Twilight gave me a second chance, and I appreciate it.
[pause]
Twilight Sparkle: So, um, what brings you to Ponyville?
Trixie: The Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie has come to perform a new stage show of grand illusion! I am calling it "The Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour"!
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] That's kind of a mouthful.
Trixie: [hushed] It's a working title.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? A moment? Over here? [hushed] I know I said make friends with anypony, but, well, with Trixie's past, and your past, I'm not sure she's the best... first friend.
Starlight Glimmer: But whatever she did, you've forgiven her, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course. It's just... She wasn't the nicest pony.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, you did say anypony, and I just assumed that you'd trust me to make my own friends the way Princess Celestia trusted you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I trust you. Just be back in time for the dinner.
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks, Twilight! You won't regret it!
Twilight Sparkle: I hope not. [sighs]
Trixie: This magic show's gonna be the greatest thing Ponyville's ever seen!
Cherry Berry and Goldengrape: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you see...?
Caramel, Shoeshine, and Sunshower Raindrops: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you hear...?
Trixie: Everypony always says they'll give you a second chance, but deep down, they never forget.
Starlight Glimmer: That's what I'm worried about.
Trixie: [sighs]
Starlight Glimmer: What is it?
Trixie: I heard what Twilight said about me, and she's right. I wasn't very nice. So I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding? You're the first pony I've met who has any idea how I feel!
Trixie: Can you keep a secret?
Starlight Glimmer: What are friends for?
Trixie: [hushed] The things I've done? I did them because I was jealous of Twilight. She's just the best at everything, and I wanted to beat her at something!
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] Your secret's safe with me.
Trixie: Thanks. Want to help me unpack my wagon?
Trixie: I spend a lot of time on the road with my wagon, so it might be a tad messy.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe I can help. I'm pretty good at organizing stuff. Magic props, brainwashed crowds...
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Pssssssst! Pssst! Psssssst! Shhhhhh!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I'll catch up. I think there's something in my hoof.
Trixie: Sure. The wagon's right around the corner.
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] So, how's it going with your new friend?
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Great. Thanks for asking in a completely not creepy way.
Twilight Sparkle: Because you know, if it isn't working out for any reason, I could introduce you to my friend here.
[bush rustling]
Starlight Glimmer: [deadpan] Nice to meet you.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no! You can come out now!
[dubstep playing]
Twilight Sparkle: You like music, right? DJ Pon-3'd be the perfect friend for tonight's incredibly important dinner with Celestia. You know, if you decide to make a last-minute change. Heh.
Starlight Glimmer: So back at your castle when you said "I trust you", you meant "I don't trust you".
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Who can really say who said what? I know I can't! [to DJ Pon-3] Can you?
[dubstep fades out]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I'm just trying to look out for you.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I appreciate it, but you're wrong about Trixie. She's just like me. We have a real connection.
Twilight Sparkle: That's kind of what I'm afraid of. Oh! What about her?
[thump]
Starlight Glimmer: Please, Twilight! I know you're trying to help, but I need to make friends on my own if I'm going to become a better pony.
Twilight Sparkle: But do you really think Trixie's the one to help you with that?
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Trixie was right. You're not really giving her a second chance. I wonder what that says about how you feel about me.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [snorts]
[bird flapping]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Now he'd be perfect!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[thump]
[dragging]
Starlight Glimmer: I was thinking. You said Twilight is better than you at everything, but that's not true. You're better at magic.
Trixie: Only when I'm wearing a soul-sucking evil amulet, so I don't think that counts. Funny story. Don't need to get into it.
Starlight Glimmer: I meant stage magic.
Trixie: Well, of course! Great? Yes. Powerful? Obviously. But I'm not the best. As great and powerful as I am, there's one trick I've never been able to do – the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!
[silent film-type piano music and film reel flickering]
Trixie: [narrating] Only one magician has ever pulled it off – my hero, Hoofdini! You are supposed to blast yourself into the open mouth of a hungry manticore! After the manticore chews you up and swallows you, you magically step out of a box on the other side of the stage!
[film reel runs out]
Trixie: Completely unharmed!
Starlight Glimmer: That sounds very...
Trixie: Dangerous?
Starlight Glimmer: I was gonna say cool!
Trixie: I knew I liked you for a reason. I don't know how he did it! If I tried it, I'd get chewed up and swallowed by that manticore.
Starlight Glimmer: Not if you could use real magic.
Trixie: Obviously. Way to rub it in.
Starlight Glimmer: No, I mean, I could help! You could start the trick, and right before you got chewed up, I could use magic to save you...
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: ...and make you appear in the black box!
Trixie: I guess that would work... But if you made one mistake, I'd be a goner.
Starlight Glimmer: Hah. When it comes to magic, I don't make mistakes. Maybe I could be your... magic show helper pony!
Trixie: We call it "assistant" in the magician biz. And... nopony's ever offered to help before.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I'd be honored.
Trixie: You may have just made my great and powerful magic show even better! Which I didn't think was possible! We're gonna blow them away tonight!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] I can't! Tonight's this incredibly important dinner with Twilight.
Trixie: Oh.
Starlight Glimmer: Can I vent for a minute?
Trixie: What are friends for?
Starlight Glimmer: Even after Twilight says she trusts me, she clearly doesn't trust me enough to choose my own friends. [sighs] I guess you were right. No second chances.
Trixie: Hmph, I wish I could say I was surprised. Well, lucky for Princess Twilight, I have my magic show tonight. If you have to go to the dinner, I completely understand. [dramatically] I just hope I find a way to survive the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive without my new assistant!
[ice sculpture dripping]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight Glimmer should be here, heh, any minute, heh. Any minute now... [nervous laugh] [forced] How about I introduce everyone? Our friendship lessons are going so well! She made three new friends! She has such great taste in friends. I don't know where she would've learned that! [nervous laugh]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Starlight Glimmer? I thought you said "nosehair trimmers"! What's going on? I'm hungry! And my nose is too hairy. [snorts]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Ha-ha, Cranky Doodle! You're so funny! If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna check the kitchen. Maybe she got lost amongst the, uh... artichokes! [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? Has anyone seen Starlight Glimmer? I'm looking for her! Trixie.
Pinkie Pie: So this is the Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour?
Applejack: Ain't that a mouthful of molasses.
Trixie: It's a working title! Oh, this is gonna be the greatest night of my life! Excuse me. Our lives.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm so glad we're not at that boring dinner.
Twilight Sparkle: Ahem? You just decided to skip our dinner without telling me? Are you aware that, at this very moment, Princess Celestia is waiting for you at a table with exquisite silverware placement?!
Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—
Twilight Sparkle: This is exactly why I didn't want you to make friends with Trixie.
Trixie: A-ha! You still don't trust me! But guess what, princess? It doesn't matter if you want to give me a second chance or not. Starlight had to choose between you and me, and she chose me! Your pupil chose me, so ha! I win!
Starlight Glimmer: You win? That sounds like you just made friends with me to beat Twilight.
Trixie: Exactly! [beat] Wait! I mean, no! I got caught up in the moment. I like you. Beating Twilight is just a bonus. [gasps] Saying that didn't help, did it?
Starlight Glimmer: I should've known. Nopony else in Ponyville wanted to be my friend. Why would you? [controlled sobbing]
Trixie: Wait, it's not like that! I am your friend. [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you won. I hope you're happy!
Trixie: [sighs] Looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie is back to a solo show.
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?
Trixie: ...Which is exactly the way she likes it! Thank you, Princess Twilight, for getting rid of that annoying pony who wanted to be my first friend! I am not sad at all! I definitely don't feel as if my heart is breaking into a million pieces!
[spotlight clanks]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Come one, come all. Come and see the Pathetic and Friendless Trixie's "Way-To-Go-Dum-Dum-You-Really-Messed-It-Up-This-Time Repentance Tour".
[crowd confused]
Trixie: It's a working title! [unenthusiastic] Behold, your fears come true. A pony-eating manticore.
[manticore roars]
Fluttershy: [trembling]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] For tonight, the Great and Powerful Trixie will be performing the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive.
[crowd gasps]
Trixie: [unenthusiastic] Now, now, save your gasps for when I defy the beast's jaws of doom and appear inside that black box. [dramatically] I was supposed to perform this trick with my great and powerful assistant, who was also my great and powerful friend!
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, when I first came to Ponyville, Princess Celestia gave me room to make my own decisions and my own friends. I need to give you the same freedom. I shouldn't have tried to pick and choose your friends for you. Just like me, you have to make your own decisions and your own friends.
Starlight Glimmer: But... what if Trixie really was using me just to one-up you?
Twilight Sparkle: From what I've seen, she's the real thing.
[fuse lights]
Twilight Sparkle: But it's not my place to judge. It's all up to you.
[manticore roars]
[fuse hisses]
Trixie: Starlight? If you're out there and you still want to be friends, let's be great and powerful together! [slightly echoing] Please?
[cannon fires]
[manticore roars]
Trixie: [shrieks]
[manticore swallows and belches]
[crowd gasps]
Fluttershy: [faints]
[crowd confused]
[magic zap]
[crunch]
Trixie: [woozy] Behold, the Peat and Growerful Triskie...!
[thud]
[beat]
[crowd cheers]
Trixie: [amplified] And now, I'm proud to introduce my great and powerful assistant! [normal] And best friend. [amplified] Starlight Glimmer!
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie!
Trixie: What do you want?
Twilight Sparkle: I was wrong. I'm sorry. And I have to hand it to you. I could never have pulled off a trick like that.
Trixie: Thank you, princess.
[fireworks launch]
[ice sculpture dripping]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: How do you get your hair to do that all the time?
Princess Celestia: [sighs]
[silent film-type piano music over credits]

Newbie Dash

Scootaloo: Hey! Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Hiya, Scootaloo! What's up?
Scootaloo: The Rainbow Dash Fan Club just decided – everypony's coming to see you when the Wonderbolts' new tour comes through Ponyville!
Rainbow Dash: Well, it's great that you guys are going to the show, Scoot, but I won't actually be performing in it. Reservists aren't in the show unless one of the real Wonderbolts can't fly. [chuckles] I'll probably be working crowd control or something.
Scootaloo: You're still gonna be wearing a Wonderbolts uniform though, right?
Rainbow Dash: A Reservist one, yeah.
Scootaloo: Hmm. That's good enough for me.
[engines roaring]
[boom]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Scootaloo: Whoa!
Spitfire: Rainbow Dash! Glad we found you. We need you in the show when we get to Ponyville. Flying.
Scootaloo: But she's only in the Reserves!
Spitfire: Not anymore, kid.
Rainbow Dash: [slow gasp] You mean...
Scootaloo: [gasps] Rainbow Dash! You're finally a full-fledged Wonderbolt! Woo-hoo! [laughs] Yeah, Rainbow Dash! Whoo!
Spitfire: Heh. What she said.
[theme song]
[zooming]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, anypony seen my wing balm? I don't want to be stiff when I show up at Wonderbolt headquarters.
Spike: Got it!
[thump]
[click]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you have time to tell us what happened, Rainbow Dash?
Rarity: Oh, yes, we must know every detail!
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Start from when you were a foal and you first knew your destiny was to become a Wonderbolt!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Well, not much to tell, really. Spitfire told me the Wonderbolts need me to go on tour with them.
Fluttershy: That's really great. I know how long you've been waiting for a spot to open up.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Fire Streak decided to retire and teach full-time. Cloudsdale Flight School will probably be churning out Wonderbolts with him there. But guess who was at the top of the Reserve list.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, I know! Pick me!
Rarity: So what do you do now, Dashie?
Rainbow Dash: I have to report to Wonderbolts headquarters this afternoon. It's only two days 'til tour starts, and I need to learn the routine.
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: You're leaving already?! [gasps] But we barely started your congratulation party! I haven't even thought about your going-away party yet!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, I'm not leaving Ponyville. I just have to train for this show.
Fluttershy: I hope everything goes well. Sounds like an awful lot of pressure having to learn everything so quickly.
Applejack: Yeah. Good luck, Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Luck? Heh. Save that for the rest of the team.
[snap]
Rainbow Dash: Now that my awesomeness has finally been recognized, the other Wonderbolts will have to keep up or eat my cloud trail!
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony knows you're a great flyer, Rainbow Dash, but so are the rest of the Wonderbolts. It might be more challenging than you think.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, you're right! I mean, do I show up wearing sunglasses or not? Sunglasses are automatically cool, but anypony can put them on. Maybe I'd stand out more if I didn't.
[engines roaring]
Spitfire: Team briefings are every morning at—
Rainbow Dash: 0720, because there were twenty ponies in the original E.U.P. Guard that became the Wonderbolts!
Spitfire: Right. And I know you've seen the academy bunks, but these are the official Wonderbolts barracks.
Rainbow Dash: Built by Admiral Fairweather himself!
[thud]
Spitfire: Don't forget rule number one, newbie. Always check both ways before crossing the runway.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, sure, but... nopony else is here.
Spitfire: They will be, and most of the Wonderbolts like to make a flashy entrance, so stay alert.
Rainbow Dash: Right, no problem!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Is that General Flash's cap?!
Spitfire: And the original crest with the Wonderbolts motto on it.
Rainbow Dash and Spitfire: "Altius volantis! Soaring higher!"
Rainbow Dash: Wow! [gasps] I mean, ha, cool.
Spitfire: Okay, newbie, we've got a show in two days, which means you gotta hustle your haunches to learn this routine. You got five minutes to get dressed and get outside to meet the rest of the team.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am! I'll have all of the moves down by the end of the day!
Spitfire: Let's hope so. We're all expecting you to make quite an impression.
[zoom]
Rainbow Dash: Lookin' good! Okay, you're about to take your first flight as an actual Wonderbolt. [sighs] No pressure. [stretching groan] Just gotta go out there and knock 'em off their hooves. Okay, Wonderbolts, get ready to meet your most awesome member ever!
[Wonderbolts chattering]
[engines roaring]
Spitfire: Hey, look out!
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Whooaaa!
[crash, clatter]
Rainbow Dash: [unsteady groan]
[Wonderbolts laughing]
Misty Fly: Whoa, most awesome entrance by a newbie ever.
Soarin: Are you okay, Rainbow Dash?
Fleetfoot: More like Rainbow Crash.
[Wonderbolts laughing]
Young Rainbow Dash: Okay, flight school! Get ready for Rainbow Dash! Hah—whooooa!
[thud]
Young Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[crash]
[trash can rolling]
Young Hoops: More like Rainbow Crash!
[foals laughing]
Young Hoops and Young Pegasi: Rainbow Crash! Rainbow Crash! Rainbow Crash! Rainbow Crash!
Rainbow Dash: Hey! You guys buzzed me on purpose!
Spitfire: Not quite. You forgot rule number one, newbie.
Surprise, Fleetfoot, High Winds, Misty Fly and Soarin: Always check both ways before crossing the runway.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, I was just... testing you guys!
Wonderbolts: [disbelieving laughter]
Spitfire: Alright, nopony got hurt and we got a lot to do, so let's forget about this and get flying!
Misty Fly: Classic rookie move, Rainbow Crash. That was amazing.
[jet engines roaring]
Spitfire: [through loudhailer] Higher, Crash! You're breaking formation!
Soarin: Check your nine, Crash!
Spitfire: Tighter, Crash, get in there!
Rainbow Dash: [growls] My name's not Crash!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash and Surprise: [yelps]
Surprise: Huh, could've fooled me.
[locker door closes]
Fleetfoot: Hey, Crash, I know it was a tough day today, but don't worry. You'll get the hang of it.
Rainbow Dash: Tough day? Please. If I can pull off a sonic rainboom, I can learn this routine. I'll have it down cold tomorrow. Probably even come up with a couple of improvements.
Spitfire: Rainbow Dash, over here!
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: I'm glad you're still here.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah? Did you want some ideas on how to make the show extra-awesome?
Spitfire: Not quite. I know you've been a Reservist for a while, but the 'Bolts have a few of their own rules you might not know about. Like worst flyer of the day has to clean up the whole compound. Better get to it, Crash.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] [under her breath] My name's not Crash.
[door opens]
[party cannon explodes]
Rest of main cast and Cutie Mark Crusaders: Surprise!
Rainbow Dash: What?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Hooray, Rainbow Dash! Our favorite Wonderbolt!
Twilight Sparkle: We know you're probably tired, Rainbow Dash, but Pinkie wanted to throw you a real party.
Pinkie Pie: Your best day [through megaphone] ever party!
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh] Yeah. It was somethin', all right.
Applejack: Well we can't wait to hear all about it!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. And I'd love to tell you, I really would, but I'm pretty beat. [yawns] You know, from all the... excitement of my big day?
Fluttershy: Um, is something wrong, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: What could be wrong? I'm finally a Wonderbolt, which means everything has to be totally, perfectly awesome.
Rarity: Oh, no. Something is wrong. What happened, darling?
Rainbow Dash: I told you, it's nothing! I mean, maybe some of the Wonderbolts started calling me Rainbow Crash...
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Isn't that the same terrible nickname those bullies in flight school used to call you?
Rainbow Dash: [whimpering]
Twilight Sparkle: Why would they call you that?
Rainbow Dash: Well, I kinda sorta fell into a garbage can. [whimpering]
Twilight Sparkle: Urgh.
Pinkie Pie: Well, look at the bright side! At least they didn't call you Rainbow Trash!
Applejack: So you started off on the wrong hoof. I'll bet every new Wonderbolt has a tough first day.
Rarity: Mmm-hmm! What you need is to find a positive way to stand out. As soon as you're known for something else, that nasty old nickname will be forgotten.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity's right. Why don't you think of the Wonderbolts like us? We're a team, but we all stand out in different ways.
Rainbow Dash: That's it! I'm gonna stand out in a different way, just like you guys! Goodbye, Rainbow Crash; hello, Captain Awesome!
[zoom]
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Pinkie Pie] Good morning, everypony! Who's ready for a fantastic day of flying? I know I am! I just couldn't be more excited for the big show tomorrow. Are you guys excited? I'm excited! Actually, I'm always excited! Some ponies even call me "Dynamic Dash"!
[balloon pops]
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Pinkie Pie] Because I'm so full of energy all the time! [panting like a dog]
Fleetfoot: Uh, Wonderbolts don't get excited, Crash. You gotta keep a level head to fly the way we do.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] [imitating Applejack] Well, of course I know that! But the truth of the matter is, you should be excited! It's the dream of near every little Pegasus pony to grow up and fly with the Wonderbolts! And here you all are doin' it!
Fleetfoot: So are you.
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Applejack] True! Go ahead and call me "Forthright Filly" if you want. But shee-yucks, I like to tell it like it is, and I believe a pony oughta appreciate hard work payin' off like this, because bein' a Wonderbolt is somethin' special!
Misty Fly: We know.
[door slams]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Twilight Sparkle] You know, I was just reading about how dihedral wing angles can help increase stability in banking turns. It made me think that pre-flight checklists could really help increase our efficiency, so I went ahead and made them for everypony!
[papers flapping]
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Twilight Sparkle] I'm always finding so much interesting information in books. In fact, a lot of ponies call me "Reading Rainboom".
Spitfire: [through loudhailer] We all know how wings work, newbie! And we already have checklists! Now get off the runway!
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Fluttershy] I'm so sorry. I was just trying to help because I care about all of the Wonderbolts oh-so much. Yessiree, just call me "Care Mare". [beat] Um, but if you're busy now, I can just come back later...
Spitfire: [low growl]
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Fluttershy] Or, you know, not at all...
[zip]
[rubbing]
Rainbow Dash: [to herself] Okay. [imitating Rarity] I must tell you how much I just love these uniforms. Why, ever since I was a foal, I've admired the mixture of bold lines and classic contours. They don't call me "Rainbow Fash" for nothing.
Soarin: Uhhhh... huh...?
Rainbow Dash: [imitating Rarity] The "Fash" is for "Fashion".
Spitfire: Crash! I'm not sure why you're acting like this, but you need to stop.
Rainbow Dash: I was just, you know, trying to show everypony all the awesome ways I can contribute to the 'Bolts.
Spitfire: I know you're excited to find your place on the team, but just focus on the routine for now, okay?
Rainbow Dash: Yes, ma'am.
Spitfire: Maybe this will help motivate you.
[thud]
[locker opens]
[Wonderbolts motif plays]
Rainbow Dash: Crash?! Couldn't you just put my regular name on it?!
Spitfire: That's not how it works around here. We all have our nicknames on our jackets. Right, Clipper?
Rainbow Dash: Clipper?
Soarin: Right, boss!
[locker shuts]
Spitfire: Now it's official. Welcome to the Wonderbolts, Crash! [laughs]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] If I don't come up with something unforgettable to add to the routine, I'm gonna be Rainbow Crash for the rest of my life!
[locker shuts]
Scootaloo: This is gonna be so amazing!
Spike: I know! I'm almost as excited as Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: I can't wait to see Rainbow Dash's first performance as an honest-to-goodness Wonderbolt! I hope there's cotton candy!
[zip]
Fluttershy: We should all remember to be extra supportive for Rainbow Dash too.
Rarity: Excellent point. It's simply dreadful that she's had such a rough start after finally achieving her dream.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash is a pretty resilient pony. I'm sure she's shaken off her tough first day and turned it around by now!
Applejack: Speakin' of... Hey, Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Perfect! Hey, can I borrow Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: Me? What for?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, heh, I just needed some help and figured the president of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club was the right pony for the job!
Twilight Sparkle: I thought the Wonderbolt Reserves were here to help.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah, they're all busy doing, uh, official Reserve stuff. But don't worry! With Scootaloo's help, everything's gonna be awesome. Better than awesome!
Rarity: Does... Does that mean practice went well yesterday?
Rainbow Dash: Gotta go.
Scootaloo: What are we doing up here, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I just need a small favor from you that's really gonna make this show something special. Now, the Wonderbolts are gonna fly over this ridge right before the finale of the show. I'll fly by last, and when I signal you, you zip up the ramp on your scooter and kick the storm cloud into my path!
Scootaloo: What?
Rainbow Dash: That kick will shoot off a lightning bolt right behind me, making me look totally awesome! And then I'll do some incredible Rainbow Dash flying with it to create the coolest, show-stoppingest, lightning-tastic light show anypony has ever seen!
Scootaloo: Are you sure about this?
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh! It's gonna be so awesome! And nopony will ever call me "Rainbow Crash" after this!
[engines roaring]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, gotta go! Be ready for me, okay, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: Um... okay...?
Announcer: [through loudspeaker] Mares and gentlecolts, fillies and foals of all ages! Look to the skies and prepare to be awestruck by the incredible flying prowess of... the Wonderbolts!
[engines roaring]
[crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: I hope Spike and Pinkie Pie are done getting their snacks, or they're gonna miss Rainbow Dash!
Rarity: Oh, don't worry, Fluttershy. Nothing would keep Pinkie Pie from missing this!
Applejack: Heh. Except maybe cotton candy.
[engines roaring]
Spike: Come on, Pinkie, the show's starting!
Pinkie Pie: One second! Just a little bit bigger please, but hurry! Bigger!
[engines roaring]
[crowd awed]
[fighter plane engine whines]
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: That was amazing! She's doing great!
Pinkie Pie: Bigger!
[cotton candy stretching]
Spike: [sighs]
[whooshing]
[screeching]
Scootaloo: I hope this works.
[thwack]
[crowd cheering]
[storm cloud crackling]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
[storm cloud crackling]
[leaves being dislodged]
Rainbow Dash: [multiple yelps]
Crowd: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, screams]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, screams]
[lightning]
[downed fighter plane engine noise]
Pinkie Pie: Hope I'm not too late. [scoffs] I dunno what took that pony so long.
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: That was amazing!
Spitfire: Way to go, Rainbow Crash.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Spitfire: You gonna tell us what just happened, newbie?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I'm so sorry.
Spitfire: I should hope so. You changed the routine without consulting me and put other ponies at risk. I've drummed flyers out of the 'Bolts for less.
Rainbow Dash: I know, and I'm ready for whatever punishment you want. You guys were right to call me "Rainbow Crash". I've always been a standout flyer, but since I joined the Wonderbolts, I've only stood out for making mistakes. [sighs] It's been my dream my whole life, but... I guess maybe I'm not Wonderbolt material after all.
Soarin: Are you serious?! You're the most talented flyer we've ever had!
Fleetfoot: And you've saved all of Equestria like, a dozen times.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I—
Spitfire: Of course you're supposed to be a Wonderbolt. We've been waiting for a spot to open up ever since you joined the Reserves!
Rainbow Dash: But... you guys all called me Rainbow Crash.
Soarin: Yeah, so? My nickname's "Clipper". You know why they call me that?
Rainbow Dash: Uh... 'cause you're as fast as a ship?
Soarin: Because I clipped my wing on a flagpole as I was landing on my first day. Heh.
Rainbow Dash: Huh.
Fleetfoot: "Flatfoot". My first day, I misjudged my landing and came down right on Spitfire's hoof.
Misty Fly: "Dizzy".
Surprise: "Slowpoke".
High Winds: "Hoof-in-Mouth".
Spitfire: You don't wanna know what they call me. [unintelligible whisper]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! That is so much worse than Crash.
Spitfire: Right?
Rainbow Dash: So does this mean I'm... still on the team?
Spitfire: Do you think you can be part of this team and not constantly try to showboat?
Rainbow Dash: I promise! I spent my whole life trying to be a standout flyer, but now that I'm a Wonderbolt, it's time to be okay with fitting in!
Spitfire: Good, because I really didn't want to miss the chance to tease you for years about this catastrophe! I mean, that crash was epic!
[Wonderbolts laughing]
Spitfire: But you're on probation for a month. Got a problem with that?!
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] No, ma'am.
[sweeping]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey. Rainbow Dash. We just wanted to check on you. Are you doing okay?
Rainbow Dash: I'm doing great, thanks!
Scootaloo: Sure you don't need any help?
Rainbow Dash: Nah. This mess is my responsibility, and I've gotta clean it up myself. And after this, Spitfire's got me cleaning the Wonderbolts' compound for the next month.
Scootaloo: So why are you in such a good mood?
Rainbow Dash: Duh! Because I'm a Wonderbolt!
[credits]

A Hearth's Warming Tail

[Ponies]
Ponies' voices fill the night
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
Happy hearts so full and bright
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
Oh, what a sight
Look at the light
All for tonight
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Fluttershy]
Clouds arranged so they're just so
[Pegasi]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Rainbow Dash]
Gonna make some awesome snow
[Pegasi]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
The chill wind blows
Making a show
Snowflakes aglow
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Pinkie Pie]
A day that's filled with songs to sing
[Ponies]
Ding-dong, ding-dong-ding
[Applejack]
Cakes and pastries we shall bring
[Ponies]
Ding-dong, ding-dong-ding
We're so busy making merry
Windigos should all be wary
[Stallions]
As our mighty voices carry
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Rarity]
Decorations we shall make
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Rarity]
Perfection you just cannot fake
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Rarity]
Not one mistake
Don't let that break
Oh, goodness' sake!
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once a—
Happy, happy Hearth's Warming Eve
Happy, happy Hearth's Warming Eve
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Starlight! Ready to celebrate your first Hearth's Warming Eve here in Ponyville?
Starlight Glimmer: I was thinking I might just skip it.
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasp]
[theme song]
Spike: Skip Hearth's Warming Eve?!
Starlight Glimmer: I just find it all a little silly. It's mostly a day dedicated to presents and candy, isn't it?
Spike: And why would you deny yourself presents and candy? That's crazy talk!
Twilight Sparkle: I think what Spike means to say is Hearth's Warming is about more than presents and candy. It's a time to spend with friends and family when we celebrate a very important day in Equestria's history.
Starlight Glimmer: I think to most ponies, it's just an excuse for silly songs and fun, not a day to remember some old story.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you just haven't heard the right Hearth's Warming Eve story yet!
Starlight Glimmer: Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns sing songs around a hearth to fight back an eternal winter caused by the mythical windigos? Ha! Every foal and filly knows that story.
Twilight Sparkle: Not that one. My favorite holiday story, "A Hearth's Warming Tale"!
Spike: Oh, I love that one!
Twilight Sparkle: This is the story of a powerful unicorn named Snowfall Frost, who hated Hearth's Warming Eve. It all began many moons ago in Canterlot...
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] Every home in Canterlot was filled with holiday spirit. Every home... except one. It was said of Snowfall that she was almost as studied as Star Swirl the Bearded. Almost, since everypony knows that Star Swirl was an expert at everything from transfiguration, dimensional calibration, teleportation—
Spike: [narrating] We get it. Star Swirl's awesome.
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] Right. The point is, Snowfall was also a powerful unicorn. She wanted to be perfect. Anything that got in the way of that was a waste of time.
[bells ringing]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasp] Well, that batch is ruined. Snowdash!
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] Snowdash was Snowfall's loyal assistant.
Rainbow Dash: What do you need?
Starlight Glimmer: Get this mess cleaned up. Those foolish ponies were ringing those blasted bells outside the window and I lost my concentration!
Rainbow Dash: [under her breath] Whoa, ponies actually enjoying Hearth's Warming Eve. Where did they get that crazy idea?
Starlight Glimmer: Today is nothing to celebrate. Hearth's Warming Eve is a menace. A dangerous day for all of Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Dangerous?! It's awesome! It's the day we remember how unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies came together in friendship to defeat the windigos!
Starlight Glimmer: That silly legend is the problem! Telling everypony that "singing songs and being nice" will solve anything? I've spent years studying magic, and that's not how it works.
Rainbow Dash: I think you might be missing the point.
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Work hard, learn, and use your skills to better Equestria. That's a worthy goal for any pony. [sarcastically] But, by all means, if you want to go home early, ignore all of the work you have, and spend the rest—
Rainbow Dash: Sweet!
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh!
[crowd chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: I hate Hearth's Warming Eve! All of Equestria would be better off if we just skipped the day altogether.
[Starlight Glimmer]
Happy Hearth's Warming, they say in the street
Happy Hearth's Warming, they think they're so sweet
Words said so often that they lack any meaning
Why should I join in when I could be intervening?
Everypony loves this cursed holiday
But would they be better off with it out of the way?
Well, okay
Say goodbye to the holiday
With my magic, I'll erase it
The greatest gift that I give today
And everypony will have to face it
No more little games for you to play
After you say goodbye to the holiday
Goodbye, Hearth's Warming, you had a good run
Goodbye, Hearth's Warming, it's over, you're done
Finally set free from your forced celebrations
No need to reply to your trite invitations
Calendar shorter by a single day
Is my magic up to the test?
Time to see, I can't delay
Say goodbye to the holiday
Prepare the spell, no hesitation
All memory shall fade away
See Equestria's new transformation
No more shall anypony say
Happy Hearth's Warming...
[sinister laughter]
...after today!
After today...
Starlight Glimmer: Once the spell is cast, all of Equestria will be better off, and they'll have me to thank for it!
Starlight Glimmer: Wait a minute. Snowfall doesn't like Hearth's Warming Eve so she decides to cast a spell to get rid of it altogether? That seems a little extreme.
Spike: [muttering] Says the pony who tried to make everypony the same by replacing their cutie marks with equal signs. [sips cocoa]
Twilight Sparkle: I think what Spike is trying to say is that everypony has their reasons for doing things. Even Snowfall. And if I could continue the story, we might just find out what they are.
Spike: Proceed.
Twilight Sparkle: Snowfall was all set to cast her spell that would erase Hearth's Warming Eve for all time...
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] ...when a voice from the hearth caught her attention.
Applejack: You sure you wanna go through with this?
Starlight Glimmer: Huh?! Who's there?!
[bubbling]
Applejack: The Spirit of Hearth's Warmin' Past, that's who. And you and me have got to have us a little chat.
Starlight Glimmer: A spirit?! [suspiciously] I didn't cast any spirit summoning spell. What are you doing here?
Applejack: You don't think a spell like that would get by without some powerful forces noticin'? You've got our attention, Snowfall Frost, and we've got some pretty strong opinions on this spell of yours.
Starlight Glimmer: "We"?
Applejack: They'll be along in a bit. For now, it's just you and me. Let's get a move on. We got a ton to see and barely any time to see it.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm not going anywhere. I've got a spell to cast, and I don't need a history lesson about Hearth's Warming Eve.
Applejack: We aren't goin' to the past to learn about the holiday. We're goin' to learn about you.
Starlight Glimmer: [yelps] [wailing]
[Applejack]
As a young thing, life sure is somethin'
You go makin' choices large and small
Always growin' like a seedlin'
And playin' is like dreamin'
And before you know it, big and tall
And every little bitty choice you make
Sends you down a path to who you are today
So let's take a little trip down memory lane
And see just what the past has to say
Aw, look how cute you were. Looks like you're not too upset it's Hearth's Warming Eve either.
The seeds of the past
They grow pretty fast
Just look at who you were back then
The seeds, as they grow
Look what they can show
Reveal the truth time and again
Professor Flintheart: Just what do you think you're doing, Snowfall?
Young Starlight Glimmer: Decorating the classroom for Hearth's Warming Eve, Professor Flintheart!
Professor Flintheart: You said you wanted to learn to be a powerful unicorn, did you not?
Young Starlight Glimmer: I do!
Professor Flintheart: And what is the way that one becomes a powerful unicorn?
Young Starlight Glimmer: [clears throat] Work hard, learn, and use your skills to better Equestria.
Professor Flintheart: And how do these help you to learn magic?
Young Starlight Glimmer: I want to be strong enough to stop windigos and help ponies!
Professor Flintheart: That's just a story we tell little ponies. Real magic takes time to learn.
[ornament shattering]
Professor Flintheart: It's your choice. Spend your time learning to become a powerful unicorn or play with your toys and make nothing of yourself.
[Applejack]
Then some distress, words so careless
Standin' there, you don't know what to do
Feelin' helpless, you can't make it hurt less
So you go and change your point of view
And in that moment, though you didn't know it
Your defenses set up walls you built to last
Leading to the pony you've become today
And the spell you're about to cast
It all comes from your past
[Starlight Glimmer]
The seeds of the past
We grow up so fast
Some hurts never go away
[Applejack]
The seeds, as they grow
This we can't let go
All tied to this one holiday
[bubbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Spirit? What am I supposed to—
[sound of confetti launching]
Pinkie Pie: [reverberating] Snowfall Frost! It is I, the Spirit of Hearth's Warming Presents!
Starlight Glimmer: Um, don't you mean "Present", like the time?
Pinkie Pie: No! Toys, Hearth's Warming doll... Here, want a cupcake?
Starlight Glimmer: Fine, "Presents". All of the pointless things ponies waste their time on.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Snowfall, it's not what the gift is that matters, it's what the gift means!
Starlight Glimmer: It doesn't mean anything. It's just stuff!
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! Sometimes a cupcake means "I love you!" Or a toy means "Hi, how're you doing?" Sometimes a book means "Your mane looks amazing!" And sometimes a scarf means... Well, a scarf usually means you look cold. That one's easy.
Starlight Glimmer: I don't understand anything you're saying.
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Whoa! [trembles]
Starlight Glimmer: What's happening to you?!
Pinkie Pie: My Spirit of Hearth's Warming Presents Sense is going off! That means a song is coming on!
[Pinkie Pie]
Take a look at everything around you
All the smells that surely will astound you
Open up your heart, it will surround you
In the magic of Hearth's Warming Eve
The little things that make it better
Little ponies spreading cheer
Give a toy, a hug, a sweater
Memories that last all year
The present's always filled with presents
Large, medium, and small
Sometimes the most important things
Aren't very big at all
[tap-dancing solo]
What a party, there's so much to see here
Can't believe you didn't want to be here
You'd have had a blast, I guarantee here
This is the spirit of Hearth's Warming Eve
Cider's flowing, this is living
Come on and feel the beat
Life is better when you're giving
Each time you do it feels so sweet
The present's always filled with presents
So come on, open your eyes
Spend time with ponies just like you
And watch your spirits rise
The present's always filled with presents
Take a look around
The reason for the holiday
Is quite easily found
Yes, the reason for the holiday
Is quite easily found
And the reason is to be with your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [singsong, as Pinkie Pie] And the reason is to be with your friends! [normal] What?
Starlight Glimmer: You know you're doing your Pinkie Pie voice, right?
Twilight Sparkle: I was not!
Spike: [laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: So, what happens next?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the party was—
Spike: Wait! Can we take a quick break? I need to refill my cocoa.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] Fine. But hurry up! We're almost to the best part!
Spike: [blows] Okay, I'm ready.
Twilight Sparkle: The party was in full swing.
Rarity: Snowdash!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Merry.
Rarity: Why, whatever is the matter, darling?
Fluttershy: Was it the eggnog? Oh, I knew I put in too much cinnamon!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no, the eggnog was awesome, Flutterholly, I'm just mad at somepony who was complaining about how awful Hearth's Warming Eve is.
Rarity: I don't suppose that pony's name starts with "Snow"?
Fluttershy: And ends with "Frost"?
Rainbow Dash: She said Hearth's Warming Eve is just an excuse to party, and we would all be better off spending time working to make Equestria a better place.
Crowd: [booing]
Rarity: What does Snowfall think a better Equestria looks like?
Rainbow Dash: Ponies working hard, learning, and using their abilities for the benefit of Equestria.
Fluttershy and Rarity: [giggling]
[thunk]
[foals laughing]
Rarity: [muffled] It looks like we've got everything on Snowfall's list right here.
Fluttershy: I think a perfect Equestria looks a lot like a Hearth's Warming Eve party.
Pinkie Pie: Me too! Too bad it's going to be the last one ever! Ever! Ever! Ever! [echoes out]
Starlight Glimmer: Spirit? What do you mean? What's going to happen?!
[wind blowing]
Starlight Glimmer: Who are you?
Princess Luna: I am the Spirit of Hearth's Warming Yet to Come.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you here to show me what future Hearth's Warming Eves are like?
Princess Luna: No, for there are no more Hearth's Warming Eves for me to show.
Starlight Glimmer: Why not?
Princess Luna: You will succeed in erasing the holiday, as you wished.
Starlight Glimmer: And what happens?
[Princess Luna]
I see a cold wind blowing through
I see days neither fun nor free
I see a future caused by you
I see a path not meant to be
The future should be filled with magic
Dreams and wishes brought to life
But the days ahead are dark and tragic
No time for hope when all is strife
Whatever might have been
All the dreams that ponies share
Because of you, Snowfall Frost
Now the future is a cold nightmare
Starlight Glimmer: Windigos?! They aren't real! It's just a little filly's story!
Princess Luna: They are all too real, Snowfall, and your actions will allow them to return. The future of Equestria shall be bathed in a blanket of eternal snow!
Starlight Glimmer: No! I never meant for this to happen! I didn't understand! I didn't see how important Hearth's Warming Eve was! Please, spirit! I haven't cast the spell yet! Is there still time?! I'm sorry! [echoing]
[window opens]
[bell ringing]
Starlight Glimmer: There's still time!
[party crowd chattering]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Rarity: Oh, my.
Fluttershy: Snowfall Frost?
Starlight Glimmer: I was hoping I wasn't too late for the party? I brought gifts.
[record needle scratch]
Rainbow Dash: [spit-take] Boss?!
Starlight Glimmer: I was wrong earlier, about Hearth's Warming Eve. It's not all about singing and presents. The singing and presents are all about celebrating the ponies in our lives. The ponies we should listen to more often: our friends.
Rainbow Dash: Wow.
[rip]
Rainbow Dash: Dragon toenail? Uh... thanks?
Starlight Glimmer: I was in a hurry. I'll do better next time.
Rainbow Dash: Ha. You kidding? No one's ever given me dragon toenail before! It's awesome! Now come get some eggnog!
Twilight Sparkle: [narrating] And from then on, it was always said of all the Hearth's Warming Eve celebrations, Snowfall's was the Hearth's Warmingest.
Twilight Sparkle: The end.
[book closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that's it! Thanks for letting me read you the story. Guess you can call it a night. Spike and I are heading downstairs, and if you wanted to, you'd be welcome to join us.
[ponies laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Welcome to the party! Happy Hearth's Warming, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Happy Hearth's Warming, Twilight.
[Starlight Glimmer]
Hearth's Warming Eve is filled with presents
Some take you by surprise
A story shared by your good friends
That makes your spirits rise
Sometimes you just let go of the past
Enjoy the present while it lasts
And really it's not that much to ask
With good friends by your side
Now it's time to celebrate
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Starlight Glimmer]
All together, feeling great
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
[Starlight Glimmer]
Can hardly wait
We'll party 'til late
Our favorite date
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once a—
Happy, happy Hearth's Warming Eve
Happy, happy Hearth's Warming Eve
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again!
[instrumental of "Pinkie's Present" plays over credits]

The Saddle Row Review

Rainbow Dash: [panting] Come on! If we hurry, we can get there before the paper's even delivered to Rarity's house!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe she won't read the article.
Applejack: I'm pretty sure Rarity's gonna read a review of her new boutique in Manehattan.
Rainbow Dash: I still can't believe we all just blabbed everything that happened to that reporter!
Fluttershy: I just hope it doesn't end up being an article about how her friends almost ruined the opening.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you're all overreacting. Rarity's our friend. If anypony is gonna understand, it'll be her.
[door opens]
Rarity: [grimly] I was wondering when all of you were going to show up.
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy: [gasp]
Rarity: [excitedly] Now we can all read the review together!
Rainbow Dash: Um, I have an idea. How 'bout we don't read it?
Twilight Sparkle: What she means is, before you read it, we should probably tell you about—
Rarity: No, no, darling. Please, no spoilers.
Fluttershy: But—
Rarity: No spoilers!
[theme song]
Rarity: Now, is everypony ready to hear what I'm sure is a stellar review that describes in stunning detail exactly how each of you contributed to the successful opening of Rarity For You?
[zip]
Rarity: [clears throat, reading] "Many a pony has tried their hoof at joining the ranks of the elite fashion trendsetters currently ensconced in the boutiques of Manehattan's famed Saddle Row." [giggles, continues reading] "Some might say it's the ultimate achievement in Equestrian fashion, and never before has a reporter been granted such unfettered behind-the-scenes access until now!"
Fluttershy: I wish it had been more fettered.
Rarity: Oh, uh... [mutters] Ah! [reading] "I sat down with..." [giggles, continues reading] "...Rarity and her friends after the opening to get the inside scoop, and what a scoop it was!"
Buried Lede: Okay, kid, ya successfully opened a shop in Manehattan and that's no mean feat! Most ponies might wonder what it feels like. Here's how it's gonna be: I'm gonna interview you and your friends so I can paint a picture of how it all came together. A word picture, mind you, not an actual picture. Any questions?
Rarity: Well, I was wondering—
Buried Lede: Let's get started! Ms. Rarity, you've got shops all over Equestria, but this was your first time trying to make it in the big city. What made ya think you could tackle it on your own?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't say all over Equestria. I just have two other boutiques: one in my hometown of Ponyville, and one in Canterlot. Uh, still, when I decided to open this one, I was nothing but confident.
[bell dings]
Twilight Sparkle: Let's just say that if I could choose, I probably wouldn't do it that way again. Heh.
Pinkie Pie: Well, it wasn't the funnest party ever...
Applejack: It was a plum-puckered, pig-pushin' disaster!
Rainbow Dash: After a lifetime of awesome, I think everypony's allowed to mess up every now and then, right?
[pencil writing]
Rainbow Dash: Wait, are you writing this down?
Fluttershy: Um, it didn't go exactly how I thought it would, but it, um, started out all right.
Rarity: Welcome to Saddle Row, an entire street lined with the most fashionable boutiques in all of Equestria!
Applejack: If it's supposed to be the most fashionable block of shops, where's Stinky Bottom's Discount Hat Emporium?
Rarity: I suppose it didn't make the cut. [gasps] Here it is! Rarity For You!
[door opens]
[shelf breaks]
[mouse squeaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, it's lovely. But are you sure you'll be ready to open tonight?
Pinkie Pie: [inhales] [sneezes]
Rarity: No need to fret over a mere moderate amount of preparation. My clothes arrive soon, my sales associate after that, and with a little... dusting, we'll be ready for the grand opening tonight.
Mr. Stripes: Rarity! So good to see you! Your store, it's going to be a very good place, I think! [laughs]
Rarity: Mr. Stripes owns the building. He's a very pleasant landlord. Although he can be pushy at times. [beat] Okay, all the time.
Mr. Stripes: You've met my daughter, the apple of my ear, the hay in my hoof? You will let her work with you.
Rarity: [chuckles nervously] It's just, I'm dreadfully busy preparing for tonight's grand opening, as you can see.
Mr. Stripes: There are only two things I love more than being pushy. One is my daughter. The other is miniature doll furniture. And I would sell my entire mini-furniture collection to make my daughter happy. You understand?
[poit, poit, poit]
Rarity: I'm sorry. I just don't think it's going to be possible.
Mr. Stripes: Let me say another way... Hire her or I raise rent until you no can afford!
Rarity: Oh, uh, welcome aboard.
Plaid Stripes: [loudly] First idea! Instead of clothes, we sell glow-in-the-dark teeth! Like this. [chomp, chomp] But they glow in the dark!
Rarity: Golly, what a splendid idea! [chuckles nervously]
Rarity: Glow-in-the-dark teeth! What was she thinking?!
Rarity: Aah! Fluttershy, your assistance is required in the stock room, posthaste!
Fluttershy: Aw, hello.
Rarity: But what are they doing here?
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Smoky made too much noise eating garbage, so Softpad's mother made them move out of the trashcan.
Fluttershy: Then Smoky Jr. found a nice home in the crawl space behind the building. But Mr. Stripes demolished it, so they were temporarily camped out in the back until they found a new place to live.
Rarity: No, no, no! I can't have a family of rubbish-scented raccoons living in my boutique!
[dance music playing, chandelier creaks]
Rarity: Uh, did you hear that?
Rarity: [annoyed] Heh. Turns out there's a Club Pony Party Palace upstairs.
Pinkie Pie: [excitedly] Turns out there's a Club Pony Party Palace upstairs!
[dance music continues]
Rarity: I'm sorry. Could you please ask her to turn it down? Could you ask her to turn it down, please? [pleading] Turn it down, please! [sobbing] Oh, please!
Rarity: Ugh! Foals today listen to their so-called "music" far too loud. I realize that makes me sound like an old mare. But this is business!
[sweeping]
[dance music playing, chandelier creaking]
Rainbow Dash: I wish we were having as much fun as they are.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, sweeping can be fun, too. [to the beat] Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep. Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
Rainbow Dash: Only Twilight could make a dance remix about sweeping. I mean, how lame is that?
Applejack: Yeah. It wasn't even catchy.
Rainbow Dash: Nope.
[hoof-bump]
Twilight Sparkle: [to the beat] Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack: [to the beat] Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
Rarity: Apparently, DJ Pon-3 has a residency at the Party Palace upstairs, but security won't let me speak to her.
[honk!]
Rarity: Aah! What in the name of Celestia was that?!
Plaid Stripes: You know how most stores have a little jingle-bell when the door opens? Ahem. I thought we should have something with a little more pizzazz! So, I installed one of Daddy's antique horns.
[honk! honk! honk!]
Rarity: [sighs] We'll have to do something about that, after I think of a way to quiet down that music. And after I finish designing the window display!
[crash!]
Rarity: Ahh! Wait, is this my merchandise shipment from Ponyville? It's completely disorganized! A—A—... [sighs]
Coco Pommel: [sneezes]
Rarity: Gesundheit! Oh, Miss Pommel! I'm so glad to see you! Now, as the sole sales associate at Rarity For You, I hate to add to your already overflowing plate of responsibilities, but it looks as though we have just a tad more to do before tonight than I thought.
Coco Pommel: Actually, I— [sneezes] I can't work tonight.
Rarity: Oh? Why not?
Coco Pommel: [blowing nose]
Coco Pommel: [sneezes]
Rarity: Feel better, my sweet. We'll manage without you... somehow. And we'll manage glowing teeth and car horns and disorganized clothes and dance music! Am I forgetting anything?
[raccoons chittering]
Rarity: [sobbing] What am I going to do?!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, opening a store in Manehattan is a pretty big deal. It's natural that Rarity would be a little stressed about how it was going. Since it wasn't going well. Still, I think she handled it all right.
Rarity: My dream is doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!
Twilight Sparkle: I know things haven't gone perfectly so far, but we've done this kind of thing before. If we all work together—
Rarity: I appreciate the offer, but this is Manehattan. To make it in the fashion scene here, everything has to be perfect. The perfect location! The perfect clothes! The perfect opening!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should just postpone.
Rarity: Postpone?! Darling, tonight is the last night of the fall season. If we don't open tonight, it won't be...
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Perfect.
Rarity: Yes. I know what needs to be done. I just need more of me! Oh, how I wish I could make copies of myself!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah... Making copies of yourself always sounds like a great idea, but before you know it, you're locked in a room with fifty Pinkie Pies watching paint dry.
[syrup splashes]
Twilight Sparkle: We can do this. And we can stay true to your vision.
Rarity: You'd do that? Fluttershy, you'll handle those... strong-smelling raccoons for me?
Fluttershy: Of course.
Applejack: Leave Plaid Stripes to me. I'll handle her and her, uh, "good ideas".
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh! And I can go upstairs to that nonstop party and have tons of fun and eat some cake and set off party cannons and—
Rarity: [clears throat]
Pinkie Pie: And then make them be quiet.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm pretty sure I know somepony who wouldn't mind organizing this merchandise shipment for you. [beat] I'm talking about myself. [beat] [pleading] Oh, please, let me organize it!
Rarity: This all sounds splendid, but I don't even have a single employee, and I'll need the best of the best.
Rainbow Dash: Leave the hiring to me.
Rarity: Oh! This is it, my dears. If you can handle these problems, I'll focus on the designs for the front window display. We'll show Manehattan what Rarity For You is all about! Oh, what would I do without you?
Rainbow Dash: What would she do without us? Huh. Lemme think. [imitating Rarity] "Darlings, I'm absolutely doomed, doomed, doomed!" [laughs, normal voice] Heh, I sound just like her!
[pencil scratching]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, you're not writing this down, are you?
Rarity: Now for the perfect window display. Hmm.
[dance music playing]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I can't really stop a super fun party in the middle of mega-happy fun times, can I?! Oh, what would Rarity want?!
Rarity Devil: Keep that party going 'til the break of dawn!
Pinkie Pie: Really?
Rarity Angel: Indubitably! And as for the roof, get jiggy! Raise it, Pinkie! Raise it like you've never raised it before!
Pinkie Pie: Oh! If you say so!
Rarity Devil: Oh, please, Pinkie Pie. Never in a million years would I say such balderdash!
[poof]
[poof]
Pinkie Pie: Oh.
[screech]
Pinkie Pie: Obviously, DJ Pon-3 only plays the sickest of beats. I just wouldn't want her to miss out on the coolest new music straight from the back-alley underground, zip-zap party scene! [to DJ Pon-3] I'd play the whole thing if I were you, no matter what other ponies think.
[record scratches]
[shopping music plays]
Dancers: Awww.
Rainbow Dash: Rarity For You is only hiring the best of the best. And to me, that means the fastest. Now, uh, before we begin, uh... [to herself] Am I doing this right? What would Rarity want? [to applicants] New plan!
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: Who can be the first one to tell me what fabric this is?
Blue Bobbin: That's organza.
Rainbow Dash: Are you sure?
Blue Bobbin: It's a thin, plain weave. Sheer fabric traditionally made from silk, so... yeah.
Rainbow Dash: I don't know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it's clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.
Plaid Stripes: See if you can keep up with me here. What are all clothes made of?
Applejack: Uh, fabric?
Plaid Stripes: Bingo! But not in this store. Uh-uh. Not anymore.
Applejack: Oh, no?
Plaid Stripes: Two words for you: "spoon clothes". All our clothes will be made of spoons!
Applejack: [sighs, to herself] What would Rarity want? [to Plaid Stripes] You know, I like you, Plaid Stripes. If it were up to me, we'd have a spoon clothes store right next to Stinky Bottom's Discount Hat Emporium. But it ain't up to me, so the answer is no.
Applejack: Personally, I think spoon clothes ain't such a bad idea. Useful, too. Eatin' soup, stirrin' gumbo, diggin' little holes.
Twilight Sparkle: There. Perfect. Although, what would Rarity want? Maybe she wouldn't like it done by color. Guess I have to start over!
Fluttershy: Hello, Smoky, Softpad, Smoky Jr.? I have some... interesting news. I, oh... I'd like you all to stay here forever, but... [to herself] What would Rarity want? [to the raccoons] You have to move out! [sobs]
[raccoons shriek]
Rarity: A window display is the first thing customers see, and if they like it, they'll walk inside and experience the glory that is my boutique.
Rainbow Dash: [stammers] I don't know which one of you to hire! Just... keep guessing fabrics!
Plaid Stripes: Daddy, Rarity's friend doesn't like my ideas!
Mr. Stripes: Spoon clothes is good idea!
[dance music playing]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! Not a shopping music mashup!
[raccoons growling]
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
[knob jiggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[slow motion sounds]
Rarity: How's it—
[door slams]
Rarity: Ooh!
Fluttershy: When you write the story, could you maybe skip over the part where we locked Rarity in the window display? [nervous chuckle]
Rarity: Hello? The door appears to be stuck!
Twilight Sparkle: Yep. We're workin' on it!
Rarity: Hmm. Well, shouldn't let this time go to waste.
[ponies chattering and raccoons chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: How did this happen?
Pinkie Pie: I shut down the party.
Applejack: I told Plaid Stripes no.
Fluttershy: I asked the raccoons to leave.
Rainbow Dash: I asked a lot of fabric questions.
Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: Just like I thought Rarity would want!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity asked us to help her with everything because she knows all of us so well. [to Fluttershy] She knows how much you care for animals. She'd trust you to solve the problem your way. [to the others] Maybe we should all do the same. Doing this our way is what Rarity wants. It's not too late. Let's all dig in and we can fix this.
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Before Rarity finds out how bad we messed up.
Fluttershy: I'm sorry I asked you to leave. The place is yours if you wanna stay. Though I would like to ask you all just one favor.
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry I made you play that un-fun, super-boring music. But if you're up for it, I have an idea to make the party even better!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, I don't get fabric, but I do get speed. And I need somepony fast enough to help all the customers Rarity's gonna have. So... first one to the river and back gets the job! [beat] It's a race! Go!
Applejack: [clears throat] Mr. Stripes, I owe your daughter an apology. She's got good ideas, and I should give 'em a chance. So here's what I'm thinkin'.
[taxi rattling]
Rarity: Perfect!
[doorknob rattling]
[door opens]
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: [awkwardly] Wow, looks like we fixed that door just in time!
Rarity: [gasps] Oh! What's all this?
Twilight Sparkle: The whole place organized by style, cross-referenced by size, and reverse-indexed by fabric. She'll be able to find anything in three seconds flat! It was some of my best work.
Rarity: Oh! I knew I could count on you! All right... I suppose this is the moment of truth...
[door opens, bell rings]
Rarity: Rarity For You is now open!
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: Oh, dear. I wasn't quite prepared for such a crowd. How will I handle them all?
Blue Bobbin: My name's Blue Bobbin. I'll be your personal shopping assistant this evening.
Rainbow Dash: Right this way, everypony, and one of our talented salesponies can help you out!
Rainbow Dash: Honestly, they were all pretty slow. But they finished the race. Plus they knew a lot more about fabric than I did. So, I hired them all!
[music starts]
Pinkie Pie: The way I see it, Rarity designs fashion, DJ Pon-3 designs beats. What better combination than a boutique/dance club?
Fluttershy: After a quick bath, they were more than willing to help!
[splat]
"Waxton": Ah, a blue corn reduction with shallot confit! But how can I possibly enjoy it without a—
Plaid Stripes: Spoon?
Applejack: Heh. Toldja spoon clothes ain't such a bad idea.
"Waxton": [sips] Mmm! Exquisite! This is the most whimsical and wonderfully fashionable boutique I've ever seen!
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: [reading] "In the end, Rarity's grand opening was a smashing success! True, it got off to a rocky start, but somehow this rag-tag group of ne'er-do-wells..." [to ponies] Oh, heavens, I think he means you. [continues reading] "...came together and created the perfect boutique. A vision of Rarity combined with the expertise of her friends! This reporter, for one, is a believer." [to ponies] Why didn't you tell me there were so many problems?
Twilight Sparkle: We all figured you had enough on your mind.
Applejack: And we didn't want you to think that the opening wasn't perfect.
Rarity: [giggles] "Ne'er-do-wells" or not, I know I can always count on all of you. And nothing could be more perfect than that.
Plaid Stripes: [sipping]
[credits]

Applejack's "Day" Off

[steam hisses]
Rarity: [sighs]
Aloe: Um... Miss Rarity? Eh, how much longer are you planning to stay in here, darling?
Rarity: Oh, dear. Is somepony else waiting?
Aloe: Oh, no, no. I just don't want you to get all... What is word? Pruney.
Rarity: Oh. Uh, well, I'm just waiting for Applejack. It's been so long since we've had a relaxing day at the spa together. I'm quite certain she'll be along any moment.
[door closes]
[steam hisses]
[door opens]
Applejack: Hey, there, Rarity. I really tried to get here earlier. I just can't believe how much time my chores are takin' up these days. At least now we'll finally get to spend some quality spa time together. Right?
Aloe: Okay, fillies, that's it. We are closing up for the day.
[door closes]
Applejack: Aw, shucks, Rarity. I guess I missed the whole day. I sure am sorry.
Rarity: Me, too.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Rarity!
Rarity: Morning, Twilight, Spike. Good heavens, that's a lot of empty pie plates.
Spike: Uh... yeah. We were just heading to pick up some fresh pies. Heh. I don't know why we keep running out at the castle. [nervous laugh] What are you gonna get?
Rarity: Applejack, actually. Although, I'm quite sure she'll be too busy once again.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean?
Rarity: Oh, nothing. It's just that Applejack and I haven't had one of our spa days in ages.
Twilight Sparkle: You two really should set aside some time.
Rarity: Darling, I have been trying for moons! But Applejack is so busy these days, it's next to impossible.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow. I didn't realize Applejack had so much to do.
[timer buzzes]
[oven door opens]
[oven door closes]
Spike: Hey, Applejack! Another order of pies, please.
Applejack: Sure thing, Spike!
Spike: Aah! Dah! Whoa-oa-oa!
Rarity: I don't suppose those pies are the last chore on the schedule for today?
Applejack: Gah! Land's sakes! Is it time for our spa day already? Rarity, why don't you go on ahead and I'll meet ya there?
Rarity: Oh! Please, Applejack, let's not kid ourselves!
Applejack: Well, it ain't 'cause I don't wanna. But the work on the farm has just been takin' up more and more of my time.
Twilight Sparkle: I hate seeing you two not spending time together. Can't you get somepony else in your family to take over for a bit?
Applejack: [sighs] Wish I could. But Granny, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom all have chores of their own. And today, they're all busy takin' the harvest to market.
Twilight Sparkle: I know we're not farmers, but I'm sure Spike and I could handle things for a little while.
Applejack: Maybe...
Twilight Sparkle: Is there one chore we could do?
Applejack: Well... I suppose if you two got started on feedin' the pigs, I could maybe leave for an hour.
Rarity: Oooh! An hour of spa perfection? I can work with that!
Twilight Sparkle: Perfect! You head out to the spa, and Spike and I'll take care of things here.
[pie plates rattling]
Spike: Whoa! Dah! Whoa!
[whoosh]
Spike: Uh, yeah. We totally got everything covered.
Applejack: [sighs] Okay. This list pretty much covers everything you need to know to feed the pigs. But, uh, maybe I should go over it with you just to...
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, please. If there's a list involved, I am one hundred percent on top of it.
Applejack: Uh, right.
Twilight Sparkle: And don't worry about things here! Spike and I have totally got this! I mean, it's just feeding the pigs. How hard could it be?
Spike: Uh, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa.
Applejack: I'm glad we're doin' this, Rarity. I've been puttin' work before our spa time for too long. I know we've only got an hour, but I can't wait to have a steam.
Rarity: A steam is just the start. I know exactly what we'll do, and an hour will be perfect.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike, ready with that list?
Spike: Ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Let's do this!
Spike: [reading] "Step one: open the gate."
[gate creaks]
[pigs oinking]
Spike: Okay. [reading] "Step two: close the gate."
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Spike: Mm. That's what it says.
[gate creaks]
Spike: [reading] "Step three: walk away."
Twilight Sparkle: "Walk away"? Really?
Spike: [intonation of "I don't know"] Mmm.
Applejack: I just hope Twilight and Spike can handle things until I get back.
Rarity: Now, Applejack, if we are really to enjoy this time together, you simply must give yourself over to the idea that you are off-duty and try to relax.
Applejack: I know. You're right. I really am glad we're doin' this. And as long as it's only an hour, I'm sure everythin' will be just fine.
Rarity: Exactly. Now kindly step this way. Relaxation awaits.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Rarity: [gasps] Rainbow Dash! What are you doing here?!
Applejack and Rarity: [giggle]
Applejack: Yeah. I didn't think spa treatments were your thing exactly.
Rainbow Dash: What?!
[robe and slippers thud]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, they're totally not. At least, not the froufrou kind.
Rarity: Ah.
Applejack: Huh.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I, uh, I think I tweaked something at Wonderbolts practice the other day. I just came in for a deep tissue sports massage.
"Lavender Essence": Ah, Miss Dash, I am so sorry, but we are running just a tad behind, and we are not quite ready to start your pampered muscle massage and indulgent hooficure just yet.
Rainbow Dash: Oh! [chuckles nervously] I-I'm pretty sure that wasn't what I signed up for.
"Lavender Essence": But they are your usual.
Rainbow Dash: And it seems like you're really busy today anyway! I'll just come back tomorrow. [to Rarity and Applejack] Uh, see you two later! Have fun! [to Lavender Essence, whispered] But put me down for the same thing.
[whoosh]
Applejack: [chuckles] Too bad Rainbow Dash just hates those "froufrou" spa treatments. She could have joined us for a nice steam. Hoo-wee! I can't wait.
Rarity: [laughs] Indeed. Although, if they couldn't fit Dashie in, I wonder just how far behind things are running. Obviously, we're on a very tight schedule.
[thud]
Rarity: [grunts, gasps] Well, maybe not everypony is waiting for the steam room.
Caramel: Oh, no. No, that's exactly what we're waiting for. Oh, I hope you're not in a hurry.
Applejack: So everypony here wants a steam bath?
[ponies confirming]
Rarity: Well, the solution is obvious. We'll simply have to start our short time at the spa with something else.
Applejack: [scoffs] Nothin' doin'. I came here to have a steam, and that's just what I'm gonna get!
Rarity: But, but, it'll take most of our hour just to get through this line!
Aloe: RRRRarity! My favorite customer! Mwah! Mwah! And Appleyack? Well, it certainly has been a long time since you two were here together! So lovely to have you back.
Rarity: Well, I wish I could say the same.
Aloe: Yes, the wait time for the steam room certainly has been getting worse lately. But I'm sure we'll be able to accommodate your usual treatments.
Applejack: Not without my steam!
Rarity: Apparently, Applejack won't consider starting her time at the spa without a steam, and we only have an hour.
Aloe: That is a problem.
Rarity: Applejack, where are you going?
[ponies scoff and groan]
Applejack: Um, why are y'all just standin' here?
Buddy: Ugh! Just waiting for the steam to build up.
Spoiled Rich: Without steam, a steam room's just a room, and I've got plenty of those at home. Because I live in a mansion.
[clink, gauge hisses, needle creaks]
Aloe: It has been taking longer for the steam to reach the Ponyville Day Spa quality. We even had to add a warm towel service. So sorry for the delay, everypony. Please help yourselves.
Applejack: So if you're not gettin' enough steam, that must mean there's not enough hot water.
Rarity: Ooh, Applejack, honestly, can't we just start with a hooficure? We're going to run out of time.
Applejack: Hmm.
[door opens]
[loud whirring in distance]
Applejack: Ha! Now what do we have here?
Rarity: The laundry room, of course. And at this point, I'm considering soaking my hooves in one of the machines so my time here isn't a total loss!
Aloe: The Ponyville Day Spa prides itself on sanitary conditions, and fresh linens are integral part.
Applejack: Well, sure, but have you always run every single one of these here machines full bore all day, every day?
"Birch Bucket": The answer is no. But ponies sure do love the warm towel service.
Applejack: Hmmm.
"Birch Bucket": Eh, you are all wanting towel?
Applejack: Looks to me like you don't have any left.
"Birch Bucket": Well, like I said, warm towels are big hit.
[hissing]
Applejack: I think I figured out the problem. You've got a small leak, and that means the steam takes just a little longer to build up. And while ponies wait, they get cold. Cold ponies start wrappin' themselves in towels, and all those dirty towels have to be cleaned because Ponyville Day Spa prides itself on cleanliness.
"Birch Bucket": Eh, what?
Applejack: Basically, losin' steam makes you use more towels. That means you do more laundry, which uses up the hot water you need to make more steam, so the problem just keeps gettin' worse.
Ponies: [talk at the same time]
Aloe: Ah! I had no idea.
Rarity: Wonderful. Now that we've solved the great steam mystery, we can finally get back to our... significantly less than an hour of relaxation.
Applejack: Rarity, are you kiddin'? I can't just leave things like this. I'm gonna need my tools.
Rarity: [scoffs]
[surf rock music]
[clank]
Rarity: Ahh!
Applejack: Whew! Now that that leak's fixed, ponies won't get so cold they use up all those towels! And without all that laundry, there'll be plenty of hot water for all the steam anypony could want!
"Birch Bucket": And I only have to be doing vash once a day!
[door closes]
Aloe: Wow, Appleyack! Have you ever considered a career in the spa industry? I'm sure I can find something for you.
Applejack: [laughs] No, thanks. I'm just relieved I can finally relax in the steam. What do you say, Rarity?
Rarity: It sounds lovely, Applejack, but... unfortunately, you spent so much time fixing the steam room, we don't have any time left to use it. Honestly, how in Equestria did it never occur to you to check for leaks?
Aloe: There's just so many other things to worry about! I suppose ve get used to the way things are, and ve don't realize there vas problem.
Rarity: You obviously need an outside eye to evaluate the situation. It's lucky for you Applejack is too stubborn to relax!
Applejack: Uh, I'm sorry, Rarity. We'll just have to do this another day. Twilight and Spike should be done feedin' the pigs by now.
Rarity: Twilight is a very capable pony. I'm sure she can figure out what to do next.
Applejack: Look, I know Twilight's a princess and an Alicorn, but she isn't a farmer. I've been doin' farm work my whole life, and I'm not sure it's somethin' you can just "figure out".
Rarity: Of course. [gasps] Why don't we pop back so you could explain to Twilight what to do next, and then we'll come back here and pick up where we left off?
Applejack: Well, I suppose I could try... assumin' everythin' went well so far.
Rarity: [laughing] Oh, Applejack, honestly! How could it not?
Spike: Wouldn't it be easier to just fly?
Twilight Sparkle: I told you, Spike. We're following Applejack's list to the letter, and Applejack doesn't fly! [straining] [yelps]
Spike: [yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Applejack: I'm sorry, Rarity, but I think I'm gonna have to finish these chores myself.
Rarity: [grumbles]
Rarity: Twilight, darling! How in the world did you end up there?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike and I were just trying to follow Applejack's list as closely as possible.
Spike: Mmmh... Maybe not the best plan.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Applejack, but we never even got started feeding the pigs.
[pigs snorting]
Applejack: That's alright, Twilight. I know you did your best. I guess a list can't really capture all the ways I have of doin' things.
Twilight Sparkle: At least you two got to spend some time at the spa together.
Spike: Yeah, that must've been super relaxing!
Rarity: Well, if watching Applejack fix plumbing counts as relaxing, then yes.
Twilight Sparkle: What about your hour of spa perfection?
Rarity: As it turns out, the Ponyville Day Spa had a few problems with their steam room, and somepony refused to relax until she had fixed them.
Applejack: I'm sorry, but I just couldn't let those spa ponies go another minute puttin' up with problems they didn't even know they had! Somehow they just got used to a huge bottleneck of ponies standin' around waitin'. An' I took one good look at that spa jam, and I knew I had to do somethin'! Sometimes the simplest things can just derail a whole operation. [babbles] Whether it's a leaky pipe or doin' too much laundry. You can't just stick to the same old way of doin' things and expect them to get better. [clucking] I mean, thinkin' you can is just plumb ridiculous. Right? [short laugh] It's funny when you realize the extra work they were doin' was actually makin' things worse!
[pigs squeal]
[pigs stampeding]
Applejack: I mean, I guess it's possible to get stuck in a routine where you're doin' all this extra stuff and not realize it, but I can't for the life of me think of how! [beat] Why are y'all starin' at me like that?
[beat]
Rarity: Um... Are you certain everything you just did is entirely necessary to feed the pigs?
Applejack: What? Of course! Why would I be doin' it if it weren't? See, this gate here used to squeak so loud, the pigs would run to the other side of the pen and never come out! So I open and close it to let them know it's safe.
Twilight Sparkle: But it doesn't squeak anymore.
Applejack: Of course not! I fixed that ages ago. Then I realized puttin' a little fright into 'em got 'em all hustlin' out of the pen.
Spike: They don't look scared to me.
Applejack: Well, no. They got used to it. Which is why I started doin' the chicken dance! To show 'em that if they didn't get to eatin' their food, the chickens would. 'Course, bein' a chicken, I couldn't very well open the gate. Gettin' the food bucket to spill into the trough was just a happy accident because one time I left it there by mistake.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Applejack? It seems like everything you're doing is to fix things that aren't really problems anymore.
Applejack: Well, I'll be...
Rarity: Hmmm... Maybe it isn't so hard to get stuck doing extra work after all.
Applejack: Huh. I wonder if I've been doin' that around here with anythin' else.
Rarity: Well, there's only one way to find out!
[surf rock music]
[chickens squawking]
[valves squeaking, water sprinkling, repeating]
[chicken wire rattling]
[scissors snipping]
Applejack: [sighs] Thanks, y'all. I guess I just got so used to doin' everythin' a certain way, I didn't realize there were any problems.
Twilight Sparkle: Having a friend look at what you're doing with an outside eye can really help!
Rarity: Mm-hmm! And I suppose if it weren't for our unsuccessful time at the spa, none of us would've realized it.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, now that your chores are streamlined, what are you gonna do with all the extra time?
Applejack: I think I have a few ideas.
[door opens]
Applejack: [sighs] Think you can come up with enough things for us to do now that we have more time to relax?
Rarity: Oh, please. I could plan a week's worth of treatments!
Applejack: Heh. Well, let's just start with the rest of the day for now. After all the work we just did on the farm, I am ready for some serious relaxation!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Thanks for letting me know there was an opening. I don't know if I could make it without my pampered muscle massage.
Aloe: Don't vorry about it. Shall I put you down for another one tomorrow?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, absolutely! Sometimes a girl just has to pamper herself, am I right?
Rarity: You certainly are!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] [stammering] Oh! Hey! I was just, uh, uh...
Applejack: Gettin' a "sports" pamperin'? [giggles]
Rarity: [giggles] Don't worry, Rainbow Dash. We were just heading in for some pampering ourselves. You could always join us.
Applejack: That is, if you don't mind sufferin' through one or two "froufrou" treatments.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... I suppose I could take it. You know, for you ponies.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [laughing]
[credits]

Flutter Brutter

Mrs. Shy: We're so happy you could come have lunch with your father and me, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: I'm so glad you asked.
Rainbow Dash: And it was super awesome of you to invite me too! Things have been so busy with the Wonderbolts lately, it's great to get a chance to relax someplace quiet.
Mr. Shy: That's exactly what I intend to do now that I've retired. In fact, I converted the back house to showcase my cloud collection. I have my clouds, your mom has her flowers, you've got your animals, and your brother...
Mrs. Shy: Zephyr Breeze has his... interests. [nervous laugh]
Rainbow Dash: I'll say! Remember when he was convinced square clouds were gonna be the next big thing? [laughs]
Mrs. Shy: He's matured a lot since then.
Mr. Shy: Actually, it's funny you bring Zephyr up...
[beat]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Not again!
Mrs. Shy: It's just for a little while, dear. 'Til he gets back on his hooves.
Rainbow Dash: Wait, you don't mean—!
[door opens]
Zephyr Breeze: Guess who's home! That's right, big sis, it's your one and only favorite little brother, moi.
Fluttershy: [groans]
[theme song]
[splat]
Zephyr Breeze: Hi, Flutterbutter! How's the bestest big sister ever? Hey, where's the love? How about a little excitement to see your baby brother?
Fluttershy: I'm just surprised. When you left, you said mane therapy was your calling.
Zephyr Breeze: Oh, it is, sis, it is. You would not believe how much stress ponies hold in their manes. Everything gets limp and unmanageable. No offense, but brushing alone won't solve the problem.
Fluttershy: What went wrong?
Zephyr Breeze: Nothing went wrong, per se. It's just the powers that be were so locked into their required styles, and you know me. I've got my own style! And I think they were a little threatened.
Mrs. Shy: O-Oh, this is... lovely, dear.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Zephyr Breeze: Welllll, if it ain't Rainbows "The Best Flyer There Ever Was" Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [flatly] Oh, this ought to be good.
Zephyr Breeze: Sorry, I shouldn't tease you. I know the whole super awesome flyer bit's just to impress me.
Rainbow Dash: [surprised neigh]
Zephyr Breeze: Still, thanks for showing up for my homecoming. It's, it's sweet.
Rainbow Dash: [strangled gasp]
Zephyr Breeze: I kinda thought there'd be more ponies here. I mean, what about your party planner friend, um... Sprinkle Pie! She could've turned this into a real house partay, am I right? I mean, this place could use it. [singsong] Drab!
Mrs. Shy: Heh. I-I, eh...
Mr. Shy: We have been meaning to redecorate...
Zephyr Breeze: Dad, please. When I get all my stuff back in here, you won't even remember what this boring old place looked like!
[scraping]
Fluttershy: [whispering] Um, Mom, Dad, can I talk to you for a second?
Mrs. Shy: [sighs] What is it, honey?
Fluttershy: I'm not so sure letting Zephyr move back home is a good idea. I know you both want to help, but don't you remember last time?
Mrs. Shy: Zephyr's just trying to find his place, dear.
Fluttershy: [sighs] I know. It just seems like his place always ends up being your place. And then he sort of makes you do everything for him!
Mr. Shy: Well, we may not be as bold as you, Fluttershy, but don't you worry. We know how to stand up for ourselves.
Zephyr Breeze: And they were all like, "We love your free spirit, Zeph! And it would be wrong to cage that! Go follow your dreams!"
[thump]
Rainbow Dash: Zeph was just telling me all about the ins and outs of mane therapy school.
Zephyr Breeze: It's all so political. I just could not take it!
Fluttershy: Well, maybe if you stuck with it for more than a few weeks...
Zephyr Breeze: Sorry, sis, but when something's not the right fit, this pony's gotta fly!
[clunk]
Zephyr Breeze: [yawns] Anyway, good talk, Rainbows. I am so touched you came to see me, really. I hate to deprive you of my presence, but this breeze needs his Z's.
Rainbow Dash: You know it's the middle of the day, right?
Zephyr Breeze: I know. [maracas in background] Siesta! I'm just gonna assume you made up my room the way I like it, right, Mom? Oh, I almost forgot! All my stuff is out front. Wanna grab that for me, Pops? [short laugh] Thanks.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Same old Zeph.
Rainbow Dash: I know you weren't expecting to see your brother, but you've been kind of quiet, even for you.
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, but I am just so... so... peeved right now! [gasps] Excuse my language!
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy! It's me, Pinkie Pie! Your friend!
Applejack: [whistles]
[thump]
Fluttershy: Oh, um, sorry about that.
Rainbow Dash: We just had lunch with Fluttershy's parents, and you'll never guess who showed up.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Mayor Mare? Cranky Doodle Donkey? Cheese Sandwich? Ms. Harshwhinny?!
Rainbow Dash: Zephyr Breeze.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that makes more sense.
Applejack: And from the look on your face, I'm guessin' it's for another one of his "extended stays"?
Rainbow Dash: She's a bit peeved.
Fluttershy: Zephyr's my brother, and I love him. But he's never learned to do anything for himself. I don't know why my parents keep letting him trot all over them!
Applejack: Well, if your parents won't stand up for themselves, maybe you need to stand up for them.
Fluttershy: You know, you're right!
Fluttershy: [inhales and exhales]
[smash!]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
[smash!, thunder rumbling]
Fluttershy: Zephyr Breeze!
Zephyr Breeze: Oh, hey, sis. Come to see me work my magic and turn this place from drab to fab, huh? Well, watch and learn!
Fluttershy: Can't you see what you're doing?!
Zephyr Breeze: Yeah! I'm getting rid of this old stuff so I can turn the backhouse into my art studio! I've decided I'm gonna be a sculptor!
Fluttershy: I'm talking about Mom's flowers!
Zephyr Breeze: She's gonna move them so I can have my meditation patio here. She loves replanting stuff. Don't you, Mom?
Fluttershy: And Dad's been collecting his favorite bits of cloud from the factory since before you were born.
Mr. Shy: The very best from every production run since my first day on the job. Ah!
[glass shatters]
Mr. Shy: [sighs] But why hold onto the past really?
Fluttershy: You can't just fly in and change everything Mom and Dad have built here.
Zephyr Breeze: But this is the only place big enough for my studio/meditation garden. Ooh! Unless I do it in the living room!
Fluttershy: [to her parents] I know speaking up for yourself can be hard, believe me, but Zephyr will never stand on his own if he can lean on you.
Zephyr Breeze: Don't be so dramatic, sis! Mom and Dad just wanna let me be me! Right? I can do plenty on my own.
Fluttershy: I agree. Which is why you should move out.
Zephyr Breeze: Oh. Well... I mean, I-I totally would, but... I don't think that's what Mom and Dad want! It's not, is it?
Mrs. Shy: Ehhh...
Mr. Shy: You know we love you, son, but your sister has a point.
Zephyr Breeze: [tearing up] Sure. I mean, I really just came back here to keep you guys company, but... whatever's best for the family. I just... I just gotta grab a few essentials.
Mrs. Shy: And... y-you definitely have somewhere else to go?
Zephyr Breeze: Of course! There's plenty of ponies who'd love for a little breeze to blow their way...
Rainbow Dash: So... where's Zeph gonna go now?
Fluttershy: I'm not sure. Oh, I hope I did the right thing...
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? One hundred percent!
Zephyr Breeze: [singsong] Hey, sis!
[door opens]
Zephyr Breeze: Your new roomie's here!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, maybe like seventy percent.
Fluttershy: Um, Zephyr. When Mom and Dad told you to find someplace else to live, I don't think they meant here.
Zephyr Breeze: Well, it's not their house, so by definition, it's someplace else. Am I right, Rainbows? Stop oogling me and help settle this.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] You know what? I totally forgot that I promised to help Pinkie Pie... sprinkle... something.
[zoom]
Fluttershy: You said you had plenty of places to go!
Zephyr Breeze: Ehhhh...
Fluttershy: [sighs] Fine. You can stay here—
Zephyr Breeze: You're the best! We're gonna have so much fun.
Fluttershy: On one condition.
Zephyr Breeze: Totally. Anything.
Fluttershy: You have to get a job.
Zephyr Breeze: Cracking the whip, huh? You always were kind of bossy.
Fluttershy: [through gritted teeth] Zephyr Breeze...
Zephyr Breeze: Kidding! Get a job. Absolutely.
[scraping]
[rooster crows]
Zephyr Breeze: [yawns] Where are we goin' so early? You have no idea how bad morning sun is for your mane.
Fluttershy: Remember how we talked about you getting a job?
Zephyr Breeze: It was just yesterday, and it's totally on my to-do list, but you can't expect to find something befitting my awesomeness overnight.
Fluttershy: I thought you might say that.
[knocking]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: So I did it for you.
Zephyr Breeze: What?!
Rarity: These fabrics all need to be dyed those colors. Do you think you can handle that?
Zephyr Breeze: [muttering] Um, I don't know...
Rarity: You get started while Fluttershy and I head to the store for more supplies. Ta-ta!
Fluttershy: Good luck!
[door closes]
[splats]
Fluttershy: Thanks for giving my brother a job. I just hope he's up to the task.
Rarity: Oh, darling, dyeing fabric is the simplest thing!
[door opens]
Rarity: You just dip cloth in a bo—
Fluttershy and Rarity: [gasps]
Zephyr Breeze: [humming to himself] Rarity, you're back!
Fluttershy: What did you do?
Zephyr Breeze: Since you talk to animals all the time, I just figured it runs in the family, so why not outsource this stuff, you know?
[animals chittering]
Zephyr Breeze: Turns out the animal communication thing isn't genetic.
Rarity: Zephyr, I asked you to do this job! Not to pawn it off on innocent woodland creatures!
Zephyr Breeze: Okay, I guess you have some feelings about this. But you should know it's basically your cat's fault for walking by and giving me the idea. But I'm actually kinda into this look!
Opalescence: [yowls]
Zephyr Breeze: So I guess what I'm saying is... you're welcome?
Rarity: [frustrated stuttering] Zephyr, this is just unacceptable!
Zephyr Breeze: Wow. I guess I know when my efforts aren't appreciated.
Rarity: Ugghh!
[door closes]
Fluttershy: [giggles nervously]
Zephyr Breeze: Whoa! Those are tall!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you noticed, because they're your new job.
Zephyr Breeze: Wha? [to Fluttershy] You said you were taking me to tea with the princess!
Fluttershy: Actually, I said I was going to tea with the princess. You're going to work.
Zephyr Breeze: Sis, c'mon!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Zephyr, it'll be easy. I just need a Pegasus pony to fly up and wipe each window down from top to bottom.
Spike: And I'm here to make sure you do it right.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Zephyr! This looks amazing!
[ukulele strumming]
Zephyr Breeze: Uh, you know, like you said, it was easy!
Fluttershy: Where's Spike?
Spike: Up here!
Twilight Sparkle: You were supposed to supervise, not do all the work!
Spike: I was supervising! And then Zephyr asked me about different cleaning techniques and which one was best, and if I could— Hey! I did all the work!
Zephyr Breeze: Don't let him fool you. Old Spike is quite the taskmaster.
[zip]
Zephyr Breeze: Oh, come on, sis. I had to ask Spike to make sure I was doing it right.
Fluttershy: You didn't do it at all! [inhales] Well, I guarantee there won't be any fooling around on the next job.
Zephyr Breeze: Next job?
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: That's right, Zeph! You're coming with me!
Zephyr Breeze: You don't have to come up with some excuse to hang out with me, Rainbows! Let's just go for a fly and see where the day takes us.
Rainbow Dash: [frustrated sigh] We're going to Wonderbolts Headquarters. And I am gonna give you a job so simple and straightforward, not even you can weasel your way out of it! [quickly] And the second you try, I'm gonna zap you with a storm cloud! Got it?!
Zephyr Breeze: Oh, I got it. I can already feel the electricity between us.
[door opens]
Zephyr Breeze: Rainbow Dash is crazy, okay?! She expects me to do stuff right when she asks me to do it! It's insane!
Fluttershy: So you just quit? Again?
Zephyr Breeze: Escaped is more like it. Besides, what was I supposed to do?
Fluttershy: Keep trying? Finish something for once? Maybe that way, you'd actually find something you like to do!
Zephyr Breeze: That all sounds fine for your friends, but it's just not me.
Fluttershy: Then I'm sorry, Zephyr, but I don't think you can live here.
Zephyr Breeze: Fine! I'll just go live in the woods like my foreponies before me! Guess the only breeze this zephyr can count on is his own!
[sweeping]
Rainbow Dash: Aw, cheer up, Fluttershy. I know it was hard, but you did the right thing. You couldn't let Zephyr pull the same stuff on you that he's always pulled on your folks!
Fluttershy: I guess so...
Constance: [twittering]
Fluttershy: Oh, hello, Constance!
Constance: [twittering]
Fluttershy: Oh? Oh, dear.
Zephyr Breeze: See, Wigford? The Breeze needs nopony! We've got food, shelter. Just need to put the old kettle on...
[rocks clinking]
[beat]
Zephyr Breeze: Come on, sticky-sticky, make with the sparks!
[clanging]
Zephyr Breeze: Ugh! What's a pony got to do to find a decent stick around here?!
[whap]
Zephyr Breeze: Ugh. [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: I know he needs to learn to do things for himself, but...
Fluttershy: Oh... I can't let him live like this.
[crunch]
Rainbow Dash: Actually, I don't think he'd make it through the night.
[tapping]
[leaves rustling]
Zephyr Breeze: [gasps] Fluttershy! Hey! I was just, um, cozying up in my sleeping bag! Ready to call it an early night! [mock-tired] Such an exhausting day, y'know?
Rainbow Dash: It's noon.
Zephyr Breeze: You know me! [maracas in background] Siesta...
[thunk]
Zephyr Breeze: Ugh... I can't do this. I can't do anything.
Fluttershy: Zephyr, you're smart and talented. You could do anything if you just tried!
Zephyr Breeze: And what if I give everything I have and still fail? Honestly, I think it's better not to try at all.
Rainbow Dash: But then you won't ever do anything.
Zephyr Breeze: I don't expect you two to understand. I mean, when have you ever failed? You've literally helped save Equestria, like, a dozen times.
Fluttershy: And I was worried that I'd fail every time! Sometimes you have to do things, even though you might fail.
Zephyr Breeze: But failing is the worst!
Fluttershy: And quitting doesn't feel much better, does it?
Zephyr Breeze: No.
Fluttershy: So here's the deal: You can come back with me, but you have to do exactly what I say. No exceptions.
Zephyr Breeze: [resigned] I will literally do anything you ask me if it means I don't have to stay here.
Fluttershy: Okay, you know what you have to do, right?
Zephyr Breeze: Beg for help, then quit when I get frustrated. Just kidding! Total opposite of that. Got it.
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: You think he can do it?
[Fluttershy]
Everypony has times in their lives
When their hearts are filled with doubt
[Zephyr Breeze]
Frustration builds up inside
And it makes you want to shout
[Rainbow Dash]
But if you just take that first step
The next one will appear
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
And you find you can walk, then run
Then fly...!
Into the stratosphere
You've got to give it your best
So you can pass the test
Give it everything that you've got
And we know you can win
You just have to begin
Have to give it your very best shot
[Zephyr Breeze]
There are times when you want to give up
When you think that you can't go on
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
But if you fight through with all of your might
You will find that you can't go wrong
That you could do it all along
[Fluttershy]
Everypony has times in their lives
When their hearts are filled with doubt
[Rainbow Dash]
But if you just give it your all
You'll start to work it out
[Zephyr Breeze]
And I know I can't give up too soon
Get myself in the zone
And I find I can walk, then run
[Fluttershy, Zephyr, and Rainbow Dash]
Then fly...!
[Zephyr Breeze]
I can do it on my own
[Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash]
You can do it on your own
[Zephyr Breeze]
I can do it on my own
I can do it on my own
Zephyr Breeze: I did it! I actually finished something! By myself!
Rainbow Dash: And it looks exactly like it's supposed to.
Fluttershy: I knew you could do it, Zephyr.
Zephyr Breeze: I didn't! But I do now. Thanks for believing in me, sis.
Fluttershy: That's what big sisters are for.
Rainbow Dash: So, Zeph, now that you've accomplished this, what's next?
Zephyr Breeze: Anything I want! I mean, the sky's the limit, right?
[beat]
Zephyr Breeze: But, y'know... I've got some baby steps in mind.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Shy! Ha! It was great as usual.
Mrs. Shy: Thank you, dear, for not giving up on Zephyr. After all these years of pining for him, it must be so satisfying to see him on the right track.
Rainbow Dash: Huh...?
Fluttershy: Have you heard from Zephyr? Is he doing well?
Mr. Shy: I tell you, he's a brand new pony! So full of drive and determination.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. That's great.
[door opens]
Zephyr Breeze: [singsong] Guess who graduated from mane therapy training?
Rainbow Dash: Hah, awesome!
Mr. Shy: Congratulations, son!
Mrs. Shy: You look so handsome!
Fluttershy: I'm so proud of you, Zephyr.
Zephyr Breeze: It was only a matter of time before they recognized my true genius! But actually doing the work probably helped, and I wouldn't have if it weren't for you.
Fluttershy: Oh, I just gave you some encouragement. You did this on your own.
Zephyr Breeze: And honestly, right now I feel like I can do anything... except find a place. I can still crash here for a few days, right?
[credits]

Spice Up Your Life

Twilight Sparkle: As you've all probably noticed, it's been quite some time since the map has sent us on a mission of friendship.
Spike: Yeah! Ever since Starlight messed with it to go back in time and try to change history!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes. Since then. But, as part of her studies, Starlight's been assisting me. And together, we think we've come up with a spell that can get it working again!
[ponies cheering]
Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously] Ooh, well done!
Twilight Sparkle: Now without further ado...
[magic sounds]
[ponies gasping and oohing]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy and Twilight in Appleloosa! No, me and Rainbow Dash in Las Pegasus! No, Rainbow Dash and Twilight in Yakyakistan! No, Twilight and Twilight in Twilight's castle! Oh. Me! Me! Oh, me... and Rarity! Ooh! I hope it's some faraway place that nopony has gone before!
Rarity: [chuckles nervously] Well, maybe not too far away. An adventure somewhere that has modern conveniences would be preferable. [gasps] Canterlot! This is wonderful! I can check the boutique! Perhaps there'll be some social events that we can attend! [gasps] I'll have to pack extra outfits! What will I wear?!
Pinkie Pie: Y'know, some ponies get excited about the silliest things.
[theme song]
Rarity: [sighs] Now then, as far as finding a friendship problem, I suggest we start at the castle and begin to question the proper—
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rarity, you don't find a friendship problem. It finds you. We just need to go with the flow, and eventually, kablam! We get friendship problem'd right between the eyes.
Rarity: Well, this is a team effort, so if you feel we should go with the flow, then with the flow we shall go. But where's the flow saying we should go?
Pinkie Pie: You know Canterlot. What do you think we should do?
Rarity: Hm. Take your pick. Culture, couture, cuisine!
[stomach rumbling]
Rarity: Oh, my. Well, it sounds like your stomach is saying we should flow towards some lunch? I know just where to go.
Rarity: Restaurant Row, the absolute best place for fine dining in all of Equestria!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, so many choices! Where should we go? This one? That one? Those ones?
Rarity: Any establishments that have this – the three-hoof rating.
Pinkie Pie: Um, whose hooves?
Rarity: Why, Zesty Gourmand, the Queen of Cuisine. When it comes to food, she is the ultimate authority in Canterlot and thus all Equestria. She judges a restaurant on cuisine, decor, and presentation. Without her approval, a restaurant simply cannot survive.
Pinkie Pie: What's so important about her approval?
Rarity: Zesty grew up around fine dining, and everypony hangs on her every word when it comes to cuisine.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! Then the food here must be amazing! Lead the way, partner! Whee! [giggles]
Rarity: [gasps] Oh, my! Such presentation. Mm. Oh. [smacks lips] Ah. Yes. Very nice...
[ploink!]
Pinkie Pie: Nom nom nom. [gulps, gags] Maybe, I'm not in the mood for... [whispers] whatever this is. Can we try someplace else?
Pinkie Pie: Nom nom. Ugh. Maybe one more stop?
Pinkie Pie: Blech! Nope.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe instead of trusting somepony else's hooves, I should pick the next place?
Rarity: Ugh! Very well.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffing, gasps]
Rarity: The Tasty Treat. It's very... rustic. [whispers] It looks like it hasn't even been rated.
Pinkie Pie: Thank goodness! Hee-hee!
[door closes]
[Middle Eastern music plays]
Rarity: Are we sure they're open?
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs deeply] Mmmm. It smells open.
[clattering]
Saffron Masala: Oh! Are you here for lunch?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, indeedy!
Saffron Masala: I'm Saffron Masala, the chef here at The Tasty Treat, the most exotic cuisine in Canterlot. Would you like to hear about the specials?
Rarity: We're actually in a bit of a hur—
Pinkie Pie: Yes, please!
Saffron Masala: We have a curried oat cake.
Pinkie Pie: We'll take one!
Saffron Masala: Uh, and a grass sandwich that has been marinated overnight in a mustard Dijon dressing.
Pinkie Pie: How can you say no to that?
Saffron Masala: A-And for you?
Rarity: Oh, me? Oh, I'm fine. Thank you. [aside, singsong, to Pinkie] No rating.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
Coriander Cumin: [sighs, grumbling in Hindi]
Pinkie Pie: Hiya! What's your name?
Coriander Cumin: Coriander Cumin.
Pinkie Pie: Are you a chef here too?
Coriander Cumin: My daughter cooks. I host.
Pinkie Pie: Then why are you stacking chairs?
Coriander Cumin: Without customers, I have nopony to host for. So I stack!
Saffron Masala: Father, stop it! Don't close up the restaurant around our guests.
Coriander Cumin: What does it matter?! When they leave, nopony else will be coming in!
Saffron Masala: Well, your attitude isn't going to bring anyone in! Can't you at least pretend to be positive?!
Pinkie Pie: [slurps] So good!
Coriander Cumin: You are doing enough pretending for the both of us. Nopony here wants to try anything new! I know when to throw in the towel!
Rarity: Um, Pinkie, perhaps we should excuse ourselves.
Pinkie Pie: [muffled speaking] Oh, Rarity, try this!
Rarity: [munches] Ooh!
Saffron Masala: Maybe if you would listen to my ideas for once...
Coriander Cumin: Oh, yes! I did not move halfway across Equestria for my daughter that I never listen to!
Pinkie Pie: [spits] Rarity, I think that friendship problem just kablammed us right between the eyes!
Rarity: These two? Oh, I don't know, darling. The food is excellent, but I'm not sure there's much you and I can do to help them.
Coriander Cumin: [scoffs] What would you have me do? We can't even get Zesty Gourmand to come to our restaurant. She took one look at how empty it was and said it wasn't even worth rating!
Rarity: That's it!
Pinkie Pie: Yes! Uh, what's it?
Rarity: The flow has led us here! This is our mission! [to Saffron and Coriander] We are going to get you a three-hoof rating and save your restaurant! I can get Zesty Gourmand here!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] And I can pack this place with ponies!
Coriander Cumin: Hmph. And how do you intend to do such a thing?
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Just leave it to us!
Saffron Masala: Father, will you please stop packing things?!
Coriander Cumin: When the lovely pony comes back and says she couldn't convince Zesty Gourmand to come visit us, we will need to pack all this up. I am just getting a head start.
Pinkie Pie: You really don't know Rarity.
Rarity: [singsong] I've done it!
Pinkie Pie: See?
Rarity: It took all of my charm and cajoling, but I was able to convince Zesty Gourmand to come and try the food!
Coriander Cumin: What is the catch?
Rarity: Ah, yes. Well, um, there is a bit of a challenge. The only time she could make herself available is tonight.
Coriander Cumin: Pfft. Oh, yeah, right.
Saffron Masala: What is it?
Rarity: Zesty rates a restaurant on cuisine, decor, and presentation, and she has very specific tastes. If she's coming tonight, there is quite a bit of work that needs to get done.
Pinkie Pie: Like what?
Rarity: Oh, a tweak here, a tuck there, some slight modifications to the menu. [laughs nervously] We just need the place to feel more cosmopolitan.
Coriander Cumin: Pfft.
Saffron Masala: Father, after Rarity went to all of this trouble for us, can't we at least try?
Rarity: Why don't I stay behind with Coriander to get the restaurant ready for Zesty's arrival? You and Saffron can try and drum up some business.
Pinkie Pie: One packed restaurant, coming right up!
Rarity: Coriander, I understand your trepidation. But I promise you, we will get those hooves by making this place feel just like all of the other restaurants on Restaurant Row!
[door shuts]
Saffron Masala: [sighs] I hope my father doesn't drive Rarity crazy.
Pinkie Pie: It'll be fine. Rarity's gonna make sure that The Tasty Treat is the most unique and beautiful restaurant in Canterlot! Not like all of those stuffy places on Restaurant Row.
[Rarity]
Here's what I know:
If you want to succeed
You must follow the trends, that's the key
If you want to show
That you've got what it takes
You must be what they want you to be
[Pinkie Pie]
Here's what I know:
Your food is so good
The flavor's so fancy and free
You just need to show
That unique sense of taste
Go on, be yourself, let them see
[Pinkie Pie and Rarity]
It's gonna work
I know it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, trust me
It's gonna work
I swear it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, you'll see!
[Rarity]
You need to change
If you want to compete
But fear not, for I know what to do
I know it feels strange
But trust me, when we're done
We'll make sure that you're a hit, too
[Pinkie Pie]
Don't ever change
Being different is good
Don't let what others do be your cue
Never rearrange
'Cause somepony said you should
Just trust your heart, it will know what to do
[Pinkie Pie and Rarity]
It's gonna work
I know it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, trust me
It's gonna work
I swear it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, you'll see!
[Pinkie Pie]
Be unique
[Rarity]
Just be the same
[Pinkie Pie]
Trust your heart
[Rarity]
You'll make your name
[Pinkie Pie and Rarity]
We'll help you every step of the way
Because we know what you need to do
And you should know it too
It's gonna work
I know it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, trust me
It's gonna work
I swear it's gonna work
It's gonna work out just fine, you'll see!
Saffron Masala: [gasps] The day is almost over, and we haven't found any ponies! What will we do?
Pinkie Pie: Try harder! Fillies and gentlecolts! Check out the super stupendous and amazing cuisine of The Tasty Treat! Grand re-opening tonight!
"Citrus Blush": How many hooves does it have?
Saffron Masala: No hooves yet, but hopefully soon!
"Cayenne": Well, when it gets rated, let us know.
Pinkie Pie: Rrrgh! Stupid hooves!
[paper flapping]
[thunk]
Chargrill Breadwinner: Oh, look at this, hun!
Orange Slice: Oh, The Tasty Treat! Do you think that's a restaurant, sugar?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! Yes, it is!
Chargrill Breadwinner: We came to Canterlot from Whinnyapolis to be adventurous. But so far, the food in all these hoity-toity places tastes like somepony cooked up nothin' with a side o' nothin'.
Saffron Masala: Well, please, come try the Tasty Treat. I think it's going to be exactly what you're looking for.
[spraying]
Rarity: [sighs] This is going to be exactly what Zesty is looking for!
[door opens]
Saffron Masala: Father, we're ba— [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Rarity, what did you do?
Coriander Cumin: [unenthusiastic] Welcome to The Tasty Treat. You can eat here if you want. Or not. Who cares?
Rarity: I know. Isn't it perfect? Zesty is sure to love it.
Pinkie Pie: I thought we were trying to make this the most unique and beautiful restaurant in Canterlot! Not make it exactly like every other restaurant!
Rarity: [short laugh] We want to help our friends by getting them three hooves. That will only happen if this is like every other restaurant.
Saffron Masala: Father, what is this?!
Pinkie Pie: Not that! Anything but that!
Coriander Cumin: This is what we must cook if we want to succeed here!
Saffron Masala: This isn't what I wanted! I wanted Canterlot to like us for us!
Pinkie Pie: Rarity, how could you ruin the restaurant?!
Rarity: Oh, pff. Kch. Ts! We helped save the restaurant. Now, where are the other guests? How many other ponies are coming?
Pinkie Pie and Saffron Masala: Two.
Rarity: Just two?! I thought you said you could pack the place with ponies no matter what!
Pinkie Pie: You said you would make the restaurant better...
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: ...so I guess we both didn't know what we were talking about!
[knocking]
Rarity: [gasps] Zesty Gourmand! Everypony, places!
[door opens]
Rarity: [gulps]
Coriander Cumin: [unenthusiastic] Welcome to The Tasty Treat. What can I get you this evening?
Zesty Gourmand: I hardly think it matters, but by all means, try your best to impress.
Orange Slice: Well, we'll both try the special this evening. Maybe with a little kick to it, eh? Yeah, we've been craving some food with actual taste.
Coriander Cumin: Saffron Masala, what are you doing?!
Saffron Masala: I'm trying to save our reputations! [sips] I've given it at least a little bit of flavor.
Rarity: No-no-n-n-no, but that's not what Zesty wants!
Pinkie Pie: What kind of food expert doesn't want flavor?! That's insane!
[pouring]
Pinkie Pie: I'm taking this out there!
Rarity: No! Zesty will hate it! You are going to ruin this for them!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm trying to fix it after you ruined it!
[thunk]
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Noooooo!
[splat]
Zesty Gourmand: I think we are done here.
Rarity: Zesty! Please wait! Allow me to explain!
Zesty Gourmand: Rarity, when it comes to fashion, you are adequate. But take some advice from a friend – keep your opinions out of restaurants. Substandard food, laughable service, and I would think even you could recognize that the decor here is trying desperately while desperately failing. Recommending a disreputable place such as this could do serious damage to your social standing.
Pinkie Pie: Disreputable?! You mean a place with food that actually tastes good?
Zesty Gourmand: Anypony can throw ingredients together and create an obvious taste that uncultured ponies like those two can register.
Chargrill Breadwinner: Hey!
Zesty Gourmand: But it takes a true culinary artist to create a subtle taste, the barest hint of a sensation. That's what I bring to Canterlot. That's art.
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: I'm so embarrassed.
Rarity: I don't know that there are words to adequately express how truly sorry we are.
Coriander Cumin: The worst has happened. No use crying over spilt food now.
Saffron Masala: Here. This always cheered me up when I was younger.
Coriander Cumin: [gasps] My spicy flat-noodle soup!
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Coriander Cumin: [sipping]
Rarity: Oh, my! This is truly delightful!
Pinkie Pie: Mmm, this is the best thing you've made so far! And I thought the food before was the best!
Saffron Masala: That's all I've ever wanted to do, father! Make food for the ponies of Canterlot like the food we made together when I was younger!
Coriander Cumin: It has been so long since we cooked together. Heh. Remember how you used to hide the ingredients you did not like?
Coriander Cumin and Saffron Masala: [laughing]
Rarity: You know what? Who cares what some stuffy unicorn thinks of the food here? It's exquisite.
Pinkie Pie: That's true.
Rarity: And you don't need three silly hooves in your window to prove it.
Pinkie Pie: That's double true!
Rarity: You just need ponies in here to give it a chance! Ponies that will tell everypony else in Canterlot that The Tasty Treat has the best food in the city!
Pinkie Pie: That's true times three!
Saffron Masala: But without Zesty's approval, nopony will even try our food!
Rarity: Ohhhh, yes, they will. Pinkie, we are the perfect team for this! We were just doing the wrong jobs! I will go out and bring the crowd! You stay here and make sure this place is every bit as unique and rustic as it was the moment we walked in!
Coriander Cumin: And? What about us?
Rarity: You two? You are going to cook! Make whatever you want, and make a lot of it! I intend to bring a crowd!
[instrumental of "It's Gonna Work" plays]
Rarity: Would the owner of one of the premier boutiques in Canterlot put a stamp of approval on something that wasn't fabulous?
Rarity: It's almost time! Is everypony ready for the grand re-re-opening?
Saffron Masala: Before we open, my father and I just wanted to say... Thank you for all of your help. We've both been so stressed about the restaurant succeeding that we forgot what it was we loved about it in the first place.
Coriander Cumin: Cooking is something we used to love to do together. No matter what happens next, thank you for reminding us of that.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, you guys! Group hug!
Pinkie Pie and Coriander Cumin: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Now come on! We've got a party to throw!
[door opens]
[ponies chattering]
Coriander Cumin: Welcome to The Tasty Treat! Make yourselves comfortable!
[muffled chattering]
Saffron Masala: Please, feel free to sample the food!
[door opens]
Zesty Gourmand: What's this?! What is everypony doing here?! This place has no hooves! It is not in keeping with the level of cuisine that I have set for Canterlot! Nopony told you this place was acceptable!
"Sweet Biscuit": Uh, Rarity and her friend said it was good? They told us!
Zesty Gourmand: They told you? And who are they to tell you anything? Rarity can tell you what hats to wear with which skirts. Her friend can tell you how to maintain a tragic look for a frizzy mane. They can't tell you what food you can eat!
Rarity: No, we can't, and neither can you! Nopony has the right to tell these ponies what to think! Zesty, you have very... specific...
Pinkie Pie: And very strange!
Rarity: Yes, and very strange opinions about food, and that's your right. But just because you like your food a certain way, there is no reason to tell these ponies that they need to do the same!
Burly Unicorn: Rarity is right! I for one think the food here is delicious! I own The Smoked Oat on Restaurant Row; I hate the food we make! From now on, it's all smoked, basted, and grilled!
Matronly Pony: This food is an inspiration! I own The Bake Stop. I'm going to bake my mother's bundt cake the way she made it – full of flavor!
[crowd chattering and agreeing]
Rarity: Zesty, are you sure you wouldn't like to try the food? Ignoring a unique and fresh establishment such as this could do serious damage to your social standing.
Zesty Gourmand: Hmph!
[door slams]
[beat]
[crowd cheers]
Saffron Masala: Thank you so much!
Coriander Cumin: You are both truly amazing.
[cutie marks ringing]
Pinkie Pie: Nothing can stop the dynamic duo of Pinkie and Rarity!
[crowd chattering]
[credits]

Stranger Than Fan Fiction

[rocks crunching]
Daring Do: [gasps]
[ding!]
[rocks crunching]
Daring Do: Whoa! [gasping] Oof!
[ding!]
[snakes hissing]
Rainbow Dash: Well, don't stop there! You read, I pack! That's the deal!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I just keep thinking about how much fun you're gonna have at the Daring Do convention. I wish Princess Celestia didn't need my help with the friendship summit in Griffonstone.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. I'll make sure A. K. Yearling signs your book. I can't believe she's gonna be there! She never goes to conventions!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Which, I guess, will be cool for all those other fanponies. But since you and I know A. K. Yearling personally, [hushed] and we know that she's secretly Daring Do herself, [normal] it's no big deal. This convention will be fun, but it's nothing to get too excited about.
Rainbow Dash: So excited!
[Daring Do leitmotif plays]
[theme song]
[general chatter]
Salespony: You look like a pony who'd be up for an all-inclusive one-of-a-kind adventu-cation, where you can get to live the Daring Do experience!
Rainbow Dash: No thanks. Did that already. Ahhh.
[hissing]
Rainbow Dash: This is the...
Rainbow Dash and Quibble Pants: ...awesomest thing ever!
Quibble Pants: Now this is something that only a true fan can appreciate.
Rainbow Dash: They even put the tiles in the right order.
Quibble Pants: Huh. Good catch. Oh, I'm Quibble Pants. Nice to meet you.
Rainbow Dash: Rainbow Dash.
[hoof-bump]
Rainbow Dash: Nice costume.
Quibble Pants: You, too.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks. The hard part was figuring out the right...
Rainbow Dash and Quibble Pants: ...number of arrow holes.
Quibble Pants: B-B-Because on page 84 of Sapphire Stone, i-it describes her dodging a, quote, "score of arrows shooting forth from holes in the very walls," unquote, but then on page 107, Daring Do says she, quote, "barely made it past the traps' barrage of arrows," unquote, but clearly, Daring Do is embellishing and the correct number of arrows is...
Rainbow Dash and Quibble Pants: Twenty! [chuckle]
[camera clicks]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I am so glad I ran into you. Even though I knew the convention would be totally awesome, it's more fun when you're with someone who really knows Daring Do.
Quibble Pants: I know what you mean. It's so hard to find a pony who really gets it.
Rainbow Dash: Hm. That's weird. We've only done stuff from the first trilogy. After lunch, we should probably start working our way back through the other books.
Quibble Pants: Whoa, whoa, whoa. There are no other books.
Rainbow Dash: Of course there are. Daring Do and the Trek of the Terrifying Towers, Daring Do and the Many Faces of—
Quibble Pants: Uh, p-please, please don't. Just don't even mention the titles. I-I'm not saying those books don't exist. I'm saying that I refuse to acknowledge them.
Rainbow Dash: Why?
Quibble Pants: 'Cause they're horrible! I mean, there isn't a single thing after Ring of Destiny that is even remotely in the realm of the possible!
Rainbow Dash: What?! I know for a fact that everything in every one of those books is one hundred percent possible!
Quibble Pants: Uh, and how could you possibly know that?
Rainbow Dash: Gyuh, uh, I just... do!
Quibble Pants: Well, that's a compelling argument.
Rainbow Dash: Why would you even come to this convention if you hate Daring Do so much?
Quibble Pants: I don't hate Daring Do. The first series was smart and cool and an amazing nod to old-time serialized adventure books, that somehow manages to be self-reflective and ironic while at the same time celebrating the art form without a hint of cynicism. Which is why I came here to ask A. K. Yearling muzzle-to-muzzle why she sold out and dumbed down the rest of her books into just a series of impossible action sequences!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, now I know you're crazy. A. K. Yearling is awesome, and every Daring Do book that comes out is better than the last!
Quibble Pants: Wha... Wow. Okay, yeah, I-I-I'm sorry, but I could never be friends with somepony who's willing to believe impossible stuff is possible as long as Daring Do does it.
Rainbow Dash: That's okay, because I could never be friends with somepony who's so focused on things being possible that he's willing to turn his back on the coolest hero of all time!
Quibble Pants: Fine!
Rainbow Dash: Fine!
Rainbow Dash: Look, just tell A. K. Yearling that Rainbow Dash is here, and I need her help to convince a know-it-all pony that everything Daring Do's ever done actually happened!
[beat]
A. K. Yearling: Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: A. K.! I gotta talk to you. It's an emergency!
A. K. Yearling: [hushed] Not here!
[door opens, slams]
A. K. Yearling: [hushed] Now tell me, what's going on? Is it Caballeron? Did you see him?
Rainbow Dash: What? No. But there is a pony downstairs who thinks everything you've written after the first trilogy is totally unrealistic and terrible. And I need you to help me prove to him that it's all totally possible.
A. K. Yearling: I've got bigger problems on my hooves than dissatisfied fanponies.
[amulet clinking]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
A. K. Yearling: The Amulet of Culiacan, and Caballeron wants it. But the amulet's only a key. [chuckles] The real treasure is hidden in a lost temple. The Seven-Sided Chest of Chicomoztoc. Caballeron wants to sell it to the highest bidder, of course, which is why I need to find it first.
Rainbow Dash: Yes! Sounds like another awesome Daring Do adventure! But... what are you doing here?
A. K. Yearling: Since I haven't found the temple yet, it's the safest place for me and the amulet. It's crawling with security, and if I get into trouble...
[coat flaps]
Daring Do: ...I can just blend in with all the Daring Do cosplayers.
Rainbow Dash: How can I help?
Daring Do: Just keep your eyes out for anything suspicious.
Rainbow Dash: Got it!
[whoosh]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Does a pony who only likes your first trilogy qualify as suspicious?
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Heh, just checking.
[door closes]
[camera clicks]
Dr. Caballeron: [sighs] I find all this fanfare around my archenemy... disturbing. [to salespony] I mean, where is the booth for Caballeron?
[beat]
Dr. Caballeron: I do not see the likeness. Come, let us find Daring Do and the Amulet of Culiacan. I don't want to spend any more time in this place than I have to!
[thump]
Quibble Pants: Well, if it isn't the pony who know impossible things can happen because she just does!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Sorry, Quibble, I've got more important things to do than argue with a pony who thinks awesome means unrealistic.
[smack]
Quibble Pants: No, wait! I want to hear more about how you're one hundred percent sure that in Curse of the Jungle Queen, Daring Do could survive a sixty-story drop from the top of a waterfall after sustaining a broken wing in a category-six rapid!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Obviously, her wing wasn't broke— Caballeron!
Quibble Pants: See, now that's a great character. Solid backstory, good motivations...
Rainbow Dash: No-no-no-no! Caballeron is right there!
Quibble Pants: Of course he is. He's also over there, over there... Ooh, ooh, over there, and and over there. Where are you going?
[door opens]
Quibble Pants: And we're out here because...?
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do told me that Caballeron came to this convention to steal the Amulet of Culiacan, and I just saw him and his henchponies come this way!
Quibble Pants: Okay. I'm gonna head back inside. There's just a little too much crazy out here for the both of us.
[fwump]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[fwump]
Dr. Caballeron: I do not know what Daring Do is playing at, but if she told you two fanponies of my plan to steal the amulet, you must work for her.
Rainbow Dash: Caballeron! Hah! What do you have to say now, Quibble?
Quibble Pants: This was your plan to prove the Daring Do books are realistic? You bought a Daring Do Experience Adventu-cation, really?
Rainbow Dash: What?! No! Look around us! Henchponies, Caballeron, the jungle it took forever to get to? This is the real deal!
Quibble Pants: Right. We're actually being held captive by Caballeron. Please! This guy's accent is all over the place! No offense.
Dr. Caballeron: I...
Quibble Pants: So what's the setup here? You've... kidnapped us, and taken us to the middle of nowhere because...?
Dr. Caballeron: The Temple of Chicomoztoc is somewhere in this jungle. When I find it, the Seven-Sided Chest is as good as mine! I just need the Amulet of Culiacan to unlock it.
Quibble Pants: Uh-huh, and Daring Do has the amulet so you came up with this over-complicated plot to lure her into the jungle and exchange it for us.
Dr. Caballeron: I wouldn't call it over-complicated, but... yes.
Quibble Pants: Okay, we're done here. Great work. Seriously, very believable.
[smacking]
Quibble Pants: [grunts] Listen, pal, you can keep her money, but I'm not—
Dr. Caballeron: Going anywhere! You may not approve of my plan, but I'm the mastermind here!
Quibble Pants: [aside] Debatable...
Dr. Caballeron: And I say you will remain here until Daring Do comes to rescue you. And if she wants you back in one piece, she will give me the amulet! Tie them up!
[chains clinking]
Rainbow Dash: The Griffon's Lock!
Dr. Caballeron: You know of it? Further proof that you are an agent of Daring Do!
Quibble Pants: Or an avid reader.
[chains clinking]
Dr. Caballeron: And now I will continue my search for the temple. Don't go anywhere. [long, drawn out evil laughter]
Quibble Pants: Listen, if I pretend to believe this nonsense is real, will you call off the henchpony repertory theater over there?
Rainbow Dash: They're not gonna listen to me. They abducted us both.
Quibble Pants: Oh, wow, so you're gonna stick with that script? O-Okay, fine. We're, we're in a Daring Do Adventure. [grunts]
[clink]
"Pickpocket": What was that?!
Quibble Pants: [unconvincingly] Daring Do. Thank goodness. We're over here.
"Pickpocket": Fan out! We can't let Daring Do rescue these two!
Rainbow Dash: [straining]
Quibble Pants: [laughing] All four?! I mean, shouldn't at least one of them stay behind to guard us? Oh, oh, wait, the... No, because then it wouldn't be a terrible Daring Do adventure.
Rainbow Dash: It doesn't matter. We'll never solve the Griffon's Lock before they get back.
[click]
[chains clinking]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, that was pretty good. Quick, we've gotta get out of here and warn Daring Do!
Quibble Pants: No way. Just point me to the hotel and you can play fanpony and hunt treasure out here all day long.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Fine. Let's just say this is a Daring Do Adventucation. The only way to get back to the convention is to go through it. So just follow me, and I'll lead you out. Deal?
Quibble Pants: I... [groans] Fine.
Rainbow Dash: [under her breath] Maybe if I just leave you in the jungle, it'll convince you.
Quibble Pants: ...which would make Daring Do left-hoofed, which we know is false, and that is everything that's wrong with Daring Do and the Trek to the Terrifying Tower. Now, the problems with the next book are even— Oh, right. What Daring Do adventure would be complete without the precarious rope bridge?
[bridge creaking]
Quibble Pants: Look, I'm all for making things feel as real as possible, but are these Adventu-cation ponies sure this thing is safe?
Rainbow Dash: Is it too "realistic" for you? Wouldn't want that on a Daring Do adventure, would we?
Quibble Pants: If this were really a real Daring Do adventure, I'm sure I'd step on the wrong plank at exactly the wrong—
[wood crunches]
Quibble Pants: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: [straining]
Quibble Pants: [sighs] Good thing this is all just a pretend adventure. Least we know all of this struggling won't make the bridge fall apart.
[snap]
Quibble Pants: You need to get your money back.
[snap]
Quibble Pants: [screaming]
[splashing]
Quibble Pants: [yelping and screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Hah! How's that for not possible?
Quibble Pants: That was... awesome! I-I-I thought we... and then you, and the flying...! Wow, and I was like, "Where are you going?!" A-a-and then you swerved, and I was, I was, I was on the water, and then [devolves into hyperventilating gibberish] Wow!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. If you read that in a book, you might even think it was unrealistic.
Quibble Pants: Okay, I'll give you that one. I mean we could have been done for. [beat] We could have been done for! W-What kind of Adventu-cation is this?! I mean, that's just, that's just bad business! What, what are these ponies thinking?!
Dr. Caballeron: Right now? We are thinking that we should thank you for escaping. For you have led us directly to the Lost Temple of Chicomoztoc! [laughing]
Dr. Caballeron: Make sure they are secure this time! We can't have them escaping again.
Rainbow Dash: [straining] You'll never get away with this!
Dr. Caballeron: Won't I? You've led me to the temple, and Daring Do is too noble to let harm befall her companions, so the amulet is as good as mine. What? No witty remarks this time about how silly my plan is?
Quibble Pants: This isn't the official Daring Do Experience Adventu-cation, is it.
Rainbow Dash: Finally!
Quibble Pants: It's some cheap knockoff run by a bunch of incompetent ponies that have no idea how to execute this adventure with any level of safety!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Quibble Pants: What was that with the bridge?! We were in serious danger! I-I'm reporting you all to... well, I don't know who I'm reporting you to, but it's gonna be somepony important! Oh, and this cut-rate excuse for an "Experience" hasn't proved anything except that I'm right! It has all the hallmarks of a lame Daring Do adventure!
[mud rushing]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Quibble?
Quibble Pants: No, I'm talking! Generic jungle location – check. Overly complicated villain plot – check. Random coincidences that conveniently get us to the next big set piece – check!
[stone moving]
Dr. Caballeron: Watch where you are stepping, you fool!
Quibble Pants: Listen, buddy, I don't take orders from some second-rate performer who learned acting from the Supervillain School of Bad Accents! The only thing this mess is missing is some giant Ahuizotl wannabe monster, and I have a feeling that would be a bit too much for you bargain-basement adventurers to pull off!
[mud dripping]
Quibble Pants: Huh?
Cipactli: [roars]
Quibble Pants: Um... you're real. This is real. This is real!
[click]
Cipactli: [roars]
[splash]
[Daring Do leitmotif plays]
Daring Do: I told you to warn me of anything suspicious, not run off on an adventure without me!
Quibble Pants: Wha... Whoa, whoa, y-you're real! You-you-you're friends with her?
Daring Do: Uh, we'll have to do introductions later. Right now we have to—
Quibble Pants: G-Get out of here, yes! Thank you!
Daring Do: Actually, no.
Quibble Pants: What?!
Daring Do: We can't leave without the treasure. And we should probably get to it before our friend gets any higher.
Cipactli: [roars]
[splash]
[stone moving]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Daring Do: Seven doors, seven locks. One of them leads to the treasure. I'd rather not think about what the others lead to.
Quibble Pants: Yeah, yeah, the classic "Pony and the Tiger" bit. All you have to do is—
Rainbow Dash: Um, maybe you should let Daring Do figure it out?
Quibble Pants: Oh, 'scuse me.
Daring Do: [scratching chin]
Quibble Pants: [coughs] Not that one.
[amulet clinks]
Quibble Pants: Ehhhhh...
Daring Do: Is he always like this?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. But... he's usually right.
Daring Do: [sighs] Which lock do you think it is?
Quibble Pants: Ugh, finally. Look, each door has another door that matches. These two both have Earth ponies fighting serpents. These two have Pegasi fighting griffons. These two have unicorns fighting bears. But this one...
Daring Do: ...has an Alicorn on it! It's the only one without a match! How did I miss that?
Quibble Pants: I've been asking myself that ever since book four!
[rattling]
Quibble Pants: The Seven-Sided Chest of Chicomoztoc!
[ding!]
Quibble Pants: Uh, guys...?
[water pouring]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... The way out is totally covered! How are we gonna get out of here?!
Daring Do: There!
Quibble Pants: Seriously, do you ever not escape out of the top of a temple?!
Daring Do: We'll have to carry Mr. Adventure Critic out with us!
Rainbow Dash: We won't be fast enough! We'll never make it!
Quibble Pants: Guys! I think Rainbow Dash and I have this covered.
[splashing]
[monster roars]
Quibble Pants: Go around! You can't go over him!
Daring Do: Go over him?! Are you crazy?!
Rainbow Dash: If Quibble says go over him, we go over him!
Cipactli: [roars]
Quibble Pants: [screams]
[leaves rustling]
[birds twittering]
Quibble Pants: You two are insane!
Rainbow Dash: You said go over him!
Quibble Pants: I said go around him!
Daring Do: [hushed] And I said be quiet!
Dr. Caballeron: This way! I heard them!
Quibble Pants: [hushed] Okay, I got it. Let's create a fake treasure out of mud and rocks, give that to Caballeron, and then we—
Daring Do: [hushed] Not every Daring Do plan has to be super-complicated.
[rock clinking]
Dr. Caballeron: Rrrgh! I swear I heard them!
[wall crumbling]
Cipactli: [roars]
Dr. Caballeron and henchponies: [screaming]
Dr. Caballeron: I'll get you, Daring Dooooo!
[splash]
Quibble Pants: Meh. Not particularly original or inspired, but it worked.
Daring Do: Who were you again?
Rainbow Dash: He's a fan.
Daring Do: [unconvinced] Uh-huh. [normal] There's some stairs on the other side of the temple that lead out of the ravine. I suggest you two take them and head west.
Rainbow Dash: What about you?
Daring Do: I've gotta get this to a museum. Thanks for your help. I couldn't have done it without you. Both of you.
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: So...?
Quibble Pants: So... maybe the later books are slightly more realistic than I gave them credit for. Still don't like them.
Rainbow Dash: What?! How can you—?!
Quibble Pants: Wait, hold on. Before we get in another fight, I-I think I finally figured it out! I love the Daring Do that solves puzzles and uses her brain to get out of tough situations, and she did way more of that in the original trilogy! You love the Daring Do that is brave and awesome and comes out on top no matter what the odds!
Rainbow Dash: Okay...?
Quibble Pants: And that's okay! We might never agree on what makes Daring Do cool, but you... are definitely cool. I-I mean, the way you saved me on the bridge? Wow! And escaping from the temple... you, Rainbow Dash, are awesome.
Rainbow Dash: Well... I-I'm not the one who can locate a treasure in half the time Daring Do can! You may have terrible taste in books, but you're pretty awesome yourself. In a brainy, egghead, puzzle-solving kind of way. Heh.
Quibble Pants: I guess we don't have to agree on everything to get along. Friends?
Rainbow Dash: Definitely friends.
Quibble Pants: Uh, do you think A. K. Yearling would consider letting me write the next book? I... I think I can make things way clearer. I mean, for instance, in the second adventure...
[Quibble continues talking over credits]
Quibble Pants: ...there's a side character. I don't want to kind of name it right now, because it's sort of this thing that I've already written a lot of fan fiction on. I don't want you to... Not that I'm saying that you would steal it! But I am saying this would totally go along my whole thing about puzzle-solving, except what if each puzzle that was solved, uh, unlocked a new karate move? Think of it that way, right? And I mean I'm kind of a "Yearlite" myself, so I'm sure she'd be open to—
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Quibble?
Quibble Pants: Sorry!

The Cart Before the Ponies

[students chattering]
Students: Good morning, Miss Cheerilee!
Cheerilee: Good morning, everypony! I hope you brought your thinking caps, because today we're going to learn about physics!
Scootaloo: Physics?
Cheerilee: Mm-hmm! Specifically, the use of force in energy conversions! In this case, using mechanical work to convert potential energy into kinetic energy!
Apple Bloom: The what now?
Sweetie Belle: Um, Miss Cheerilee? That sounds a bit over our heads.
Scootaloo: Yeah. Why would we even need to know that stuff?
Cheerilee: Oh, it's very important. In fact, you'll most likely end up using it tomorrow.
Apple Bloom: Tomorrow? What for?
Cheerilee: Why, for participating in the... Applewood Derby!
[students gasping and cheering]
Snails: Oh, phew! For a second, I thought we were gonna have to, you know, learn stuff.
[theme song]
[students chattering]
Scootaloo: We get to race in the Applewood Derby tomorrow? That's so cool!
Apple Bloom: My family's talked about it for years, and now I'm finally old enough to race!
[knocking]
Cheerilee: Now hold on to your horseshoes, everypony. You've got a lot of work to do before you're ready to race.
Snips: Yeah, but... not schoolwork, right?
Cheerilee: There'll be a block of applewood just like this one waiting for you at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow, and you've got one day to turn it into a race-ready cart.
[students groaning]
Scootaloo: Oh, yeah... That is a lot of work.
Cheerilee: Mm-hmm. Luckily, you'll each get to pick an older pony to help you! But choose wisely, because they'll also have to ride in the cart with you during the race.
Scootaloo: Hmmm... I think I know just the pony to ask.
Sweetie Belle: Me too!
Apple Bloom: Me three!
Cheerilee: Just remember, everypony. Your cart has to be able to finish the race if you want to win one of the awards. Fastest – for winning the race, naturally. Most traditional – for the best working replica of an original Applewood cart. And most creative – for the cart with the best overall design.
Apple Bloom: [dreamily] Hoo-wee! Those ribbons are the bees' knees.
Students: [dreamily] Uh-huh...
Cheerilee: All right then, class! You've got a lot to learn if you want to build a race cart.
[students groaning]
Snips: Aww... I knew there was gonna be a catch!
Sweetie Belle: Wow! Have you seen what the carts used to look like in the olden days?
Apple Bloom: Yeah, I know all about them. When Ponyville started the Derby, they decided to use the wood from our apple trees for the carts. The race has been a part of Sweet Apple Acres ever since.
Sweetie Belle: I just think these old carts look so cool! But I guess you and Applejack will probably win the award for the most traditional, huh?
Apple Bloom: The Apples usually do, but honestly, I'd rather build the fastest cart there is and win the race!
[wings buzzing]
Apple Bloom: But... I'm pretty sure Scoot and Rainbow Dash'll take that award.
Scootaloo: You know, I race around so much on my scooter, being the fastest isn't such a big deal. Maybe I'll try to make the wildest looking cart I can think of!
Apple Bloom: Really?
Scootaloo: Sure! If I win most creative, you can totally win the award for fastest!
Sweetie Belle: And I can win the award for most traditional!
Apple Bloom: Sounds like we're all gonna try somethin' different. I can't wait to tell Applejack!
Scootaloo: Let's get to it!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Go, Crusaders!
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding?! Of course I'll help with the Applewood Derby! I want you to have as much fun as I did when I was a filly!
Scootaloo: Wait, Cloudsdale has a derby too?
Rainbow Dash: Sure! Practically every town in Equestria has one! [sighs] I still remember racing my cloud cart...
Young Rainbow Dash: This is so awesome! Woo-hoooooo!
Scootaloo: And lemme guess. You won fastest cart.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, obviously!
Scootaloo: So what do you say? Will you help me make my race cart?
Rainbow Dash: Help you? I'm all over it! I've got tons of ideas.
Scootaloo: Don't worry, I've got a lot of— Whoa. Ideas of my own. Um...
[vase breaks]
Scootaloo: What are you looking for?
Rainbow Dash: The blueprint for my derby cart, of course! I'll have to change it a little, 'cause this race is on roads, not on clouds. But trust me, your cart is gonna be amazing!
[thudding]
Scootaloo: Um, okay, Rainbow Dash, thanks! How awesome is this? With Dash on my team, how could anything go wrong?
Applejack: Well, I'm mighty flattered you wanna work with your big sis on your cart. I mean, the Applewood Derby did—
Apple Bloom: —start on our farm. I know.
Applejack: Well, I couldn't be more proud to help my little sister take the prize for most traditional.
Apple Bloom: Actually, I was kinda thinking of somethin' else. Like... fastest?
Applejack: [scoffs] Fastest? Apple Bloom, things aren't like they were in the old days. The fastest cart now has gotta be slick and modern and—
Apple Bloom: Exactly!
Applejack: Not Apple at all. The Apples win most traditional. We have since the Derby started! Why would anypony want to win anythin' else? Now why don't you head off and get some chamomile vines, some hickory sticks, and some apple barrels, and I'll show you what an Apple family cart should look like!
Apple Bloom: I guess I do have a family tradition to uphold...
Rarity: [gasps] The Applewood Derby?! [excited giggling] Of course I'll help!
Sweetie Belle: Wow. Uh, Rarity, I didn't know you'd be this excited.
Rarity: Me? Oh, why, I'm just itching to right an old wrong from long, long ago!
Rarity: [narrating] I designed my own cart when I was just a filly, and I was positive I was going to win the prize for most creative, hooves down! But I came in second. Second!
Sweetie Belle: You? Second in most creative? To whom?!
[ponies cheering]
[lightning cracks]
Rarity: [narrating] But I learned a valuable lesson.
Rarity: I learned to know my audience, and the race cart audience wants big! They want bold!
[door opens]
Rarity: Chop chop! Everypony out!
Upper class ponies: [indignant chattering]
Rarity: We've got work to do!
[door closes]
Rarity: This will take all of my considerable skills... [humming to self]
[scribbling]
Rarity: ...but I will fashion the biggest and boldest Derby cart to ever win the prize for most creative!
Sweetie Belle: Actually, I was sorta thinking of something more... traditional?
Rarity: Oh! [tittering] Please, darling, leave tradition to the Apples. We're doing big, we're doing bold! [humming to self] Soon the prize for most creative will finally be in my hooves!
Sweetie Belle: You mean my hooves.
Rarity: Yes, that's what I said – my hooves. Darling, I hope you're ready to get an early start tomorrow!
Sweetie Belle: Uh... how early?
[birds twittering]
[cart rattling]
Sweetie Belle: [yawns] [groans] Rarity, the sun's not even up yet.
Applejack: Oh, apples, quit complainin'! In my day, we were up even earlier!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I'd get up in the middle of the night if it means my cart crosses that finish line first and wins fastest!
Rarity: And my cart wins most creative!
Applejack: And my cart wins most traditional! Hoo-wee, it's gonna be a good day!
Scootaloo: You mean our carts, right?
Rarity: Yes, that's what we said, darling.
Applejack: Yup.
Rainbow Dash: Our carts.
Apple Bloom: Their carts? It almost sounds like they're planning on building them without us.
Sweetie Belle: I'm sure they meant "our" carts. Like, the team cart, right?
Scootaloo: Of course! I mean, they're all our older sisters. Practically. Plus, they've all done this before. I'm sure they know best. Let's just buckle down and get to work!
[carts rattling]
[chattering and handiwork noises]
Scootaloo: [straining]
Rainbow Dash: Scootaloo, where have you been? I've only got 'til noon to make the fastest cart ever!
Scootaloo: Uh, about that. I was really thinking of going for the most creative prize. I mean, I know all about speed already, so...
Rainbow Dash: Exactly! It's all about speed! You've gotta get across the finish line to win a prize, so we might as well get there first, right? Hey, I left a bunch of paint cans by the road. Bring them up here, would ya? Nothing as fun as painting racing stripes on the winning cart!
[sawing]
Scootaloo: [sighs] Right... Fun...
Apple Bloom: Spendin' time buildin' a cart with my big sister? Why, this is just tee-riffic! Um... how can I help?
Applejack: You can feast your eyes on... this! I-I mean, it ain't quite finished yet.
Apple Bloom: Oh, good.
Applejack: But don't it have the makin's of the best cart you ever did see? Uh... is somethin' wrong, Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: Actually, I was kinda thinkin' of somethin' a little more modern. And less rickety. With maybe a chance of winning?
Applejack: Bless my hooves, I thought we covered this! Tradition is all that counts! And who knows tradition better than Apples? Nopony, that's who! So are you an Apple, or are you an Apple? [snorts]
Apple Bloom: I'm an Apple, but... what if I just take off this fringe?
[crunch]
Applejack: No, not the fringe!
[crash]
Applejack: Ugh! Why, shoot! Now I've gotta start all over from scratch, and it's almost race time!
Apple Bloom: Oh. So, maybe we can redesign it then? Just a little.
Applejack: No time! And who'd want to redesign somethin' that's already perfect?
Apple Bloom: Right... Perfect...
Sweetie Belle: Okay, so I sketched out some of my ideas.
[sound of wrenching]
Sweetie Belle: How about a nice yellow fringe on top?
Rarity: [muffled] Oh-ho-ho-ho, darling, [normal] the fringe is not exactly big! And that yellow is the least bold color I can imagine!
Sweetie Belle: Well, it doesn't have to be yellow. But I really do love the old-timey style. Like this.
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, precious face, "old-timey" is just another word for passé. Remember, big and bold! I do have a reputation to uphold! It was one thing to lose as a filly, but can you imagine if I didn't win the most creative now? Ponies might stop buying my couture!
Sweetie Belle: But we're supposed to be doing this together!
Rarity: Yes, of course we are, darling. In fact, we just finished. Voila! I know. You're speechless. Well, if that isn't big and bold, I don't know what is! Isn't it wonderful? [humming to self]
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] Right... Wonderful...
[montage music]
[ponies chattering]
Apple Bloom: [tired] Hey, Crusader... How's it goin'?
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] Rarity's definitely made the biggest, boldest cart anypony's ever seen.
Apple Bloom: Wow. Well, Applejack's built somethin' so traditional, it's practically an antique.
Scootaloo: [sighs] No matter what I say, there's no talking Rainbow Dash out of making the fastest cart in Equestria.
Sweetie Belle: Doesn't look like any of us ended up with what we wanted.
Apple Bloom: But... I'm sure our older sisters know what they're doin'. Right?
Scootaloo: Right...
Sweetie Belle: Right.
Apple Bloom: And even if our carts aren't exactly what we had in mind, it'll still be fun to drive them to the finish line.
Sweetie Belle: Sure! The race is the best part!
Apple Bloom: Yeah! CMCs behind the wheels!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: [cheering]
Cheerilee: Derby racers to the starting line! Derby racers to the starting line!
Rainbow Dash: The race is about to start, Scootaloo! You better shake a leg if you wanna ride in the winning cart!
Rarity: You, too, Sweetie Belle. There's only one seat left aboard this creative masterpiece, and it's just for you. Woo-hoo!
Applejack: Whoa, ponies! Wait for me! This traditional cart handles at the exact perfect pace – slow! And I got the passenger seat all warmed up for ya, Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: Passenger seat?!
[carts rolling]
Scootaloo: [grunts] They're the only older ponies driving!
Sweetie Belle: First they built the carts, now they're gonna drive them?!
Apple Bloom: I know they were all excited to help, but I don't think they're really helping anymore.
Scootaloo: We better hurry if we wanna be a part of this race at all!
Cheerilee: Um, aren't you all missing somepony?
Applejack: They'll be along.
Cheerilee: And, uh, [hushed] usually the younger ponies drive the carts.
Rarity: [chuckles] Darling, do these look like usual carts to you?
[seat belts clicking]
Cheerilee: [blows fanfare] Racers! On your marks, get set, go!
Sweetie Belle: [screams]
Scootaloo: [screams]
Apple Bloom: [scream turns into a grunt] Can't we go any faster?!
Applejack: Faster? Don't be silly. This is perfect!
Apple Bloom: [groans]
[carts rolling]
[Ponies]
Go, go, go!
[Applejack]
Check me out, racin' the Derby
Check out my old-fashioned cart
[Rarity]
Check me out, racing the Derby
In my original work of art
[Rainbow Dash]
Check me out, faster than ever
There's nopony can catch me now
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Let me out, I'd do it over
If I only knew how!
[Ponies]
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Go, go, go!
[Rarity]
My cart's the most original
Designed with imagination
[Applejack]
My cart's the most traditional
Just plain, no complications
[Rainbow Dash]
Look at me, I am the ace
Might as well give up the chase
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Wish we could stop this race
Start again and do it our way
Scootaloo: Having any fun yet?
Apple Bloom: Nope! Maybe if we could go a little faster!
[Ponies]
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Go, go, go!
[Rarity]
Gotta get some attention
If I want that ribbon
[Rainbow Dash]
Gotta push the limit further
Blow away the competition
[Applejack]
Gotta coast on through
Just relax, we're gonna cruise it
[Apple Bloom]
Guess I don't really care
Since we're clearly gonna lose it
[Rarity]
See, everypony's watching
Presentation is a glory
[Rainbow Dash]
Just passed you, even faster
Speed is king, end of story
[Rarity]
Bigger, bolder down the track
[Applejack]
Love the view from the back of the pack
[Rainbow Dash]
Won't stop, we're on the attack
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Too late to take it all back!
[Ponies]
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Giddyup, derby racers
Go, go—
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Look out!
[crash]
[ponies groaning]
Rarity: Oh! My beautiful swan cart is an ugly duckling!
Applejack: And my old-time cart is a rootin' tootin' wreck!
Rainbow Dash: [straining] It still counts as a win if I push my cart across, right?
[wheel bouncing]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: They're not your carts!
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: Huh?
Apple Bloom: We were supposed to design them!
Scootaloo: And we were supposed to drive them!
Sweetie Belle: The Derby was supposed to be for us, not the three of you! Now you've ruined it for everypony!
Rarity: Mmmh...
[crunch]
Rarity: Yes, well, I suppose we might have gotten a teensy bit carried away...
Applejack: But I thought you all wanted our help.
Apple Bloom: We did! We wanted your help to build our carts. But we all ended up with carts that are what each of you wanted!
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: But why didn't you say anything?
Scootaloo: You've all done the race before. I just figured you knew best!
Sweetie Belle: Plus it's hard to speak up to older ponies.
Rarity: Oh, I certainly understand that. But you mustn't think older ponies automatically know best.
Rainbow Dash: And we probably could have done a better job of listening to you.
Applejack: Oof. I guess we owe all three of you an apology.
Apple Bloom: Maybe not just us.
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh] Um, how do you feel about a do-over?
Cheerilee: I think that's a wonderful idea! But maybe the older ponies should sit this one out.
Scootaloo: Thanks for helping us fix up our carts. Pretty creative, right?
Apple Bloom: I know it's not traditional, but it sure looks fast, don't it?
Rarity: You know, darling, I can't believe I'm saying this, but that yellow fringe is rather bold after all.
Sweetie Belle: Thanks, everypony. We couldn't have done it without you.
[carts rolling]
Applejack: Yup, I sure am glad Miss Cheerilee agreed to run the race over again.
Cheerilee: Well, it isn't every year I get to say this twice, but... Derby racers to the starting line! Derby racers to the starting line! Racers! On your marks, get set... go!
[foals cheering]
Rainbow Dash: And it's probably best keeping all the grown-ups on the sidelines. But... what are we supposed to do now?
Rarity: I think I have an idea.
Rarity: [sipping through straw] Ahhh! Much better! Honestly, I'm not sure why we wanted to race those carts in the first place.
Rainbow Dash: Seriously! [sighs] This is the most relaxed I've been all day.
[spectators cheering]
[carts rolling]
Rainbow Dash: Go, Scootaloo, go! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Uhh, I mean... [nervous laugh] This is the life. Right, ponies? [sighs]
[credits]

28 Pranks Later

[nighttime noises]
Fluttershy: I'm so sorry I lost track of time at our picnic. I didn't mean for us to get caught out here after dark. But there's really nothing to be afraid of. The forest at night is the same as the forest during the day.
[wind gusts, howls]
Fluttershy: Only... darker.
Harry: [teeth chattering]
Fluttershy: Still, maybe we should hurry back to the cottage.
[whoosh]
Fluttershy: Nothing to worry about. No reason to...
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [eerie wailing]
Fluttershy: Ruuuun!
[zip]
Fluttershy: Aah! [gasping]
Rainbow Dash: [eerie wailing]
[thunderclap]
[roars]
Fluttershy: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Gotcha! [laughs harder]
Fluttershy: [hyperventilating] That wasn't funny! You really scared me! I hope you're happy.
Harry: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: Nope. You're too easy. You're scared of everything.
Fluttershy: That's not true.
Rainbow Dash: Boo.
Fluttershy: Aah! [chattering]
Harry: [grunts]
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, how could you not appreciate that?
Fluttershy: Because I don't think being scared is very fun!
Pinkie Pie: I do! Your heart gets all racy, your hooves get all tingly, your mouth gets all dry-ie! Actually, I don't like that part. But the rest is great!
Rainbow Dash: See? Everypony likes a good prank! They're just jokes!
Rarity: Now, Rainbow Dash, I don't think Fluttershy would have called us all here to talk about this if she thought it was funny. Everypony has things they like and things they don't.
Applejack: And scarin' Fluttershy is just lazy.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Lazy?!
Twilight Sparkle: A prank isn't very good if you're the only pony laughing.
Pinkie Pie: But what if it's really, really, really, really, really funny?
Rainbow Dash: And I can do funny.
Twilight Sparkle: I know you can. I guess the trick is making sure that your idea of funny matches the pony you're pranking.
Rainbow Dash: [stifling giggle]
Twilight Sparkle: That way—
[prolonged fart noise]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: [stifling laugh]
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Good one, Rainbow! Ha-ha! You have to admit! That was funny!
Twilight Sparkle: Not really.
Applejack: Yeah. A whoopee cushion is like a joke shortcut.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: What?!
Rarity: Honestly, Rainbow Dash, if you are not willing to put forth the effort required to pull a prank that everypony can enjoy, you may as well not pull one at all.
Rainbow Dash: Fine! If you ponies want effort, then that's just what you'll get.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure she understood what we meant.
Rarity: I know you're excited about the Filly Guide Cookie Drive, but I still have to do a few finishing touches on your uniform.
[beat]
Sweetie Belle: [lips smacking] Hmm. Not bad.
Rarity: Huh. [reading] "You asked for it."
Sweetie Belle: What does it mean?
Rarity: Hmm. I assume this is Dash's idea of a prank, which can only mean she's rigged some kind of booby trap to your Filly Guide uniform up there.
Sweetie Belle: So how do we get it down?
Rarity: We don't. If Dash thinks I'm going to fall for whatever she's got in mind, she's got another thing coming. There's more uniforms where that one came from!
[splat]
Sweetie Belle: Hmm. The sewing machine cake is actually better than the cake cake.
Rarity: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Gotcha! Ha-ha! How's that for effort?
[pans clang]
[bells jingle]
Apple Bloom: What's all this, Applejack? I thought you were gonna help me get ready for the Filly Guide Cookie Drive.
Applejack: Uh, yeah, sorry about that. But Rainbow Dash has been on a prankin' tear, and you can never be too careful.
Apple Bloom: Do you really think Dash is gonna try and prank you in your sleep?
Applejack: Not if I have anythin' to say about it.
[click]
Applejack: See ya in the mornin', sugarcube.
[pig oinks]
Applejack: Huh?!
[rooster crows]
Applejack: Whoa!
[splut]
[pan clanks]
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Still think I'm lazy? Gotcha! [laughing] Pigpen...
Applejack: [grunts] Ugh! Rainbow Dash!
[splat]
[pig oinking]
[polka music]
[skunk sprays]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Gotcha!
[music continues]
Spike: [blows fire]
[thunk]
Spike: [blows fire]
[thunk]
Spike: [blows fire]
[thunk]
Spike: [blows fire]
[thunk]
Spike: [blows fire]
[thunk]
[loud thud]
[sloop]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
[clang!]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
[students laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! We need your help.
Pinkie Pie: Okay! For what?
Rarity: Are you honestly going to stand there and tell us you know nothing about all the pranking Rainbow Dash has been doing?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! She's been pranking up a storm!
Fluttershy: Did she get you, too?
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Oh, yeah! She and Gummy both!
Rainbow Dash: Boo!
Pinkie Pie: Aaah! [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: They got me good.
Applejack: Well, she needs to stop.
Pinkie Pie: Stop? But pranks are so much fun!
Twilight Sparkle: Not for everypony. And it doesn't seem like Dash is taking the time to find out who enjoys them and who doesn't.
All but Twilight: [grumble]
Rarity: Uh, since you and Dash share such an, uh, affinity for pranking, we thought you might be able to get her to, um, uh... quit it!
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow Dash! I have something very important to tell you!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, hey! I actually have something totally important to tell you!
Pinkie Pie: You do? Ooh! You go first!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, you know how I've been pranking everypony?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! [giggles] It's been pretty funny! I-I-I mean, actually, that's what I have to talk to you about.
Rainbow Dash: Here. Have a cookie.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Thanks! [chomps]
Rainbow Dash: So, I got to thinking – why waste my time pranking everypony one at a time when I could prank everypony at once?
Pinkie Pie: Mmm, wow! Everypony at once?! That sounds amazing!
[record needle scratches]
Pinkie Pie: Gah, wait! I mean, it's not.
Rainbow Dash: You don't even know what it is yet! Pinkie, this is gonna be the best prank ever! I special ordered these joke cookies so the colors would match my mane.
Pinkie Pie: And?
Rainbow Dash: And I'm gonna switch them with the Filly Guide cookies. When Scootaloo and her friends sell them, everypony in town's gonna get a rainbow mouth courtesy of Rainbow Dash! Ha-ha! It's gonna be so awesome!
Pinkie Pie: Uh, I don't know. I mean, it doesn't really seem all that funny.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] What?!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe this is a good time to stop pranking for a while. The other ponies in town really—
Rainbow Dash: Stop?! No way! This prank is happening, Pinkie! And it's gonna be hilarious!
Pinkie Pie: [chomps]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, what's the deal? I told you I needed your help switching out all the Filly Guide cookies for the joke cookies. But when you didn't show, I had to do it all by myself! Uh, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Wow. Your face is still pretty rainbowed.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I haven't really [coughs] been feeling well. And these joke cookies are the only thing that makes me feel better. You don't have any more, do you?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, no. I just told you, I used them all for the prank.
Pinkie Pie: Oh.
Rainbow Dash: Pretty soon, the CMCs will start selling them to everypony in town. Ponies will open their boxes and start eating, then all of their teeth will turn rainbow-colored, and they'll know it was me! It's gonna be so awesome! C'mon, you don't wanna miss it!
Pinkie Pie: Actually... [coughs] I don't think I can even... stand... up... [raspy] Unless you've got more cookies!
Rainbow Dash: Aah! On second thought, maybe you better stay here and rest.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Yeah. You're right. Sorry to miss out. I'm sure it's gonna be hilarious.
Rainbow Dash: All right, who's ready to sell some cookies?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Me!
Applejack: Look here, Rainbow Dash. I know you promised Scootaloo you'd help out, but I don't want none of your pranks ruinin' these fillies' night.
Rainbow Dash: Look, I'll be with you the whole night so you can totally keep an eye on me.
Apple Bloom: Come on, Applejack! Let's get started!
Scootaloo: Yeah! We've got a lot of ground to cover!
Sweetie Belle: We wanna hit every house in Ponyville!
Rainbow Dash: Come on! You heard her! Every house in Ponyville! [laughs]
[knocking]
Harry: [growls loudly]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [scream]
[knocking]
[doors creaking]
[bits clinking]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Applejack: I think you three should be real proud. Y'all did a mighty impressive job for your first go-'round.
Rarity: You took the words right out of my mouth, Applejack. Isn't that right, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] Any minute now.
Applejack: Uh... "any minute now" what?
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Oh, uh, nothing! Have you guys noticed how quiet it's gotten? I mean, it's still early, right?
Rarity: Of course it's quiet. Ponies can't talk while they're eating those fabulous cookies, heh.
Rainbow Dash: You think?
Rarity: Of course. They're probably all in a cookie coma right now.
Rainbow Dash: Huh... Maybe you're right. I'll go check.
Rainbow Dash: What is going on...? Okay. Definite cookie-eating happening. But... where is everypony? They must have seen their rainbow mouths by now... They should all be running out into the streets! Unless everypony went to bed early...
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie?
[crunch]
Rainbow Dash: The whole town got the cookies, and now everypony is shut up in their houses! You don't think there's something wrong with the joke cookies, do you?
[clatter]
[clatter]
Rainbow Dash: Mrs. Cake! Phew! Have you seen Pinkie? I was thinking I might have something to do with her not feeling great.
Mrs. Cake: [chewing, husky breathing]
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Mrs... Cake...?
Mrs. Cake: [droning] Cookies...! Cookies!
Rainbow Dash: [whimper] Uh, I can see you're busy! I'll come back!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Uhh!
Pinkie Pie: [droning] Cookies...!
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Mrs. Cake: [droning] More... cookies...!
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [burbling]
Mrs. Cake: [droning] Cookies...!
Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie: [droning] Cookies... cooooooooooooookiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeees...
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [burbling]
Mrs. Cake and Pinkie Pie: [droning] Moooooore cooooookies...
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [droning] More cookies...
Rainbow Dash: [whimpering, gasps]
Lyra Heartstrings and Twinkleshine: [moaning]
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
[munching]
Rainbow Dash: [pant] Twilight! [pant] You gotta come with me to Sugarcube Corner! Something's going on with the Cakes! Well, not something exactly. I mean, it may have something to do with these joke cookies...
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: [droning] Cooooooookies...
Spike: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no!
Twilight Sparkle: [droning] Coooooookies...
Spike: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: [whimpers] Fluttershy—
Fluttershy: [droning] Cooooooookies...
Harry: [low growl]
[door opens, slams]
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
Granny Smith: [groans] [droning] Cooooooookiiiiiiieeeeeeees...
[crunch]
Granny Smith: [droning] Cookies...
Applejack: You sure you don't mind us all comin' over?
Rarity: Oh, of course not. I think the girls have earned a little celebration for all of their hard work. And I have plenty of sewing machine cake left over. Unless anypony wants a cookie...?
Rainbow Dash: Don't touch those!
Rarity: Oh! There is certainly no call for that! There's plenty for everypony.
Rainbow Dash: Come on! We gotta get outta here!
Applejack: What in tarnation are you goin' on about?
Rainbow Dash: There's no time! You have to follow me!
Rarity: Oh, Rainbow Dash, if you want all of those cookies, you will have to buy them, just like everypony else.
Rainbow Dash: I don't want the cookies—!
[ponies groaning]
Rainbow Dash: But they do!
Rarity: Wh-wh-what... What's happening?
Rainbow Dash: I'll explain later. Come on!
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
Sweetie Belle: We need to find somewhere to hide!
Granny Smith: Cookie! Cookie!
Applejack: This way!
[ponies groaning]
[bucking]
Rainbow Dash: [spits, pants] Did we lose them?
Scootaloo: [pants] Why are we running from the ponies of Ponyville?
Sweetie Belle: What happened to all of our friends?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I think it's something in the cookies.
Applejack: Ugh! That's ridiculous! Filly Guide cookies haven't changed for years! It's not like there's a new ingredient that's turnin' the whole town into cookie-cravin' zombies.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, unless there... is...
Rarity: What are you saying?
Applejack: What did you do?
[crunch]
Zombie ponies: [droning] Coooooookiiiiiiiieeeee... coooooookiiiiiiieeee....
[door rattling]
Rainbow Dash: Cover the windows!
Zombie ponies: Coooook...
[pounding on door]
Zombie ponies: [droning] Cooooooookieeeee..... cooookiiiiieeeeeeee... [etc.]
Rainbow Dash: [pants] Okay! So I may have switched all the Filly Guide cookies for joke cookies that were supposed to make ponies' mouths rainbow but somehow turned everypony into mindless cookie-eating zombies instead! I figure we just hide out here until the effects wear off, and as long as nopony else eats the cookies, we'll be fine.
Rarity: That's lovely, darling, except for one thing... [droning] We've already eaten theeeeeeeeeemmmmm...
Applejack: [droning] Looks like your prank up and backfiiiirrrrreeeeed...
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [droning] Cooooooookiiiieeeees...
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[crunch]
[zombie ponies groaning]
Rainbow Dash: No, no! Stay away! They're making you sick! You don't want these!
Pinkie Pie: [droning] But we dooooooo... We want cookiiiiiiiieeeeeeees...!
Rainbow Dash: Nngh! Please! Stop! I never meant for this to happen! It was just a harmless prank! It was supposed to be funny! But this isn't funny at all!
Pinkie Pie: [normal] Exactly!
[splats]
Rainbow Dash: What? Wait... What's happening?
Rarity: Just delighting in pranking the prankster.
Applejack: [chuckles] Yeah. How does it feel to get some of your own medicine?
Rainbow Dash: So... you're... not sick? None of you are?
Pinkie Pie: Of course not, silly!
Crowd: Gotcha!
Rainbow Dash: This... was all... a prank?!
Applejack: Yep! And you can thank Pinkie Pie. After you told her about your plan to prank the whole town, she got everypony together and came up with a way to turn the tables on you.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, shucks, it was nothing! Just a little something I threw together.
Rainbow Dash: Uh...
Scootaloo: Wow! You should see your face!
Apple Bloom: [laughs] Talk about funny!
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Well, I don't think it's very funny! And I'm the one that got pranked! I was really scared! I thought I made everypony sick! You can't just go around—
Twilight Sparkle: —pranking whoever you feel like?
Fluttershy: Without thinking about how it might make them feel?
Rarity: Or if they'd even enjoy it?
Applejack: Or think it's funny?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! [beat] Ohhh. I see what you did there.
Pinkie Pie: Pranks can be a lot of fun when everypony has a good time. I thought you just needed to see what it's like when they don't.
Rainbow Dash: I guess I did. I'm sorry, everypony. I haven't really been thinking about how other ponies feel.
Fluttershy: Well, I hope you learned your lesson.
Rainbow Dash: Totally! You ponies pulled off an amazing prank! I'll have to work extra hard to top it!
[crickets chirping]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha.
[everypony laughing]
[horror film style music over credits]

The Times They Are A Changeling

[train puffing]
Twilight Sparkle: I hope Shining Armor and Princess Cadance don't think it's too soon for me to come back to the Crystal Empire for a visit. But I just know Flurry Heart's grown so much already. I wonder if I'll even recognize her.
Starlight Glimmer: She's the only baby they have, Twilight. I think it'll be pretty easy to figure out who she is.
Twilight Sparkle: [annoyed grunt]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry. I know you want to visit your niece as much as possible, and I'm excited to see Sunburst again. I just don't wanna fall behind on my friendship lessons back home.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, your work in Ponyville isn't going anywhere. Besides, I think we all know you can learn about friendship anywhere. Right, Spike?
Spike: [deep voice] "Spike?" Who's "Spike"?
Starlight Glimmer: Pfft. Uh, you're Spike, Spike. And why are you dressed like that?
Spike: [groans] [normal voice] Guys, you're blowing my cover! How'd you even know it was me?
Starlight Glimmer: Because you're you... in a coat, hat and glasses. Also, we're the only ones here.
Spike: Right.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, why do you need a disguise?
Spike: Last time we came to the Crystal Empire, there was a lot goin' on with the new baby and the Crystalling, but I still got mobbed in the street.
Starlight Glimmer: I wouldn't say mobbed.
Spike: And this is just a family visit. I wouldn't want the presence of Spike the Brave and Glorious to turn it into some kind of circus.
Starlight Glimmer: We get it. The Crystal Ponies adore you.
Twilight Sparkle: He did save the Empire. Twice. But still, I don't think your presence will turn our visit into a circus.
Spike: Not if I find the right disguise, it won't.
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, disguise or not, Spike, I don't think you need to worry about being mobbed. Nopony's here.
[wind whistling]
[tumbleweed drifting]
[bird cries]
Spike: It's like a ghost town.
Twilight Sparkle: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, this is weird.
Spike: I guess I don't need the disguise after all.
[Crystal Ponies cheering]
Honeysparkle: It's Spike the Brave and Glorious!
Sapphire Joy: He's come to save us yet again!
Crystal Ponies: Spike! Spike! Spike! Spike!
Spike: Save you from what?
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, what's going on?
Twilight Sparkle: Why was everypony hiding?
"Amber Laurel": Oh, it sure looks like Princess Twilight and her pupil.
"Scarlet Heart": But how can we be sure?
"Golden Väs": We can't! Either one of them could be the... you know!
[zip!]
"Amber Laurel": [gasps] What if this... [gasps] isn't... [gasps] the real Spike?!
"Scarlet Heart": Everypony, run!
[zip!]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Something strange is definitely going on.
Spike: [groans] Ya think?
Royal guard 1: Who goes there?
Starlight Glimmer: Um, you don't recognize the Princess of Friendship?
Royal guard 1: Of course we recognize her.
Royal guard 2: But that doesn't mean it's really her.
Spike: It's okay, guys. They're with me. And any friend of Spike the Brave and Glorious is a friend of the Crystal Empire, am I right?
Royal guard 2: Huh. It does look like him.
Royal guard 1: Well, it would, wouldn't it? I'm sorry, but we'll need to see some proof of identification.
Princess Cadance: We'll take care of things from here.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Cadance, thank goodness! What's going on?
Shining Armor: We can explain, Twily... if it really is you.
Princess Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine...
Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle: ...ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake! Mmm!
Shining Armor: It's okay, everypony. It's her.
Starlight Glimmer: Of course it's her! What's all this about?
Sunburst: A changeling's been spotted nearby.
Twilight Sparkle: A changeling?!
Spike: That's not good.
Princess Cadance: No, it's not. After Queen Chrysalis took my place at our wedding and invaded Canterlot with her army of minions, we're not taking any chances.
Sunburst: Changelings feed off of love. And ever since Flurry Heart's Crystalling, the Empire is filled with more love than anywhere in Equestria. It's possible they've come for the baby.
Shining Armor: That's why we posted the extra guards, and why we're—
Twilight Sparkle: Checking everypony's identity.
Princess Cadance: I'm sorry for all of this. Flurry Heart's really been looking forward to seeing you.
Flurry Heart: [coos]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's gotten so big! Starlight and I will do whatever we can to help protect her.
Princess Cadance: To be honest, having you here is already a big relief.
Royal guard 2: [whispers indistinctly]
Shining Armor: Hmm. The royal guards were wondering if Spike the Brave and Glorious would like to join in the search for the changeling.
Spike: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea, Spike. It sounds dangerous.
Spike: Come on, Twilight, this is Spike the Brave and Glorious you're talking to. Have you ever known me to run from danger?
Twilight Sparkle: Um...
Shining Armor: He'll be safe with our guards.
Spike: Or will your guards be safe with me?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Royal guard 1: Spike the Brave and Glorious, you've faced the evil changelings before. What can you tell us?
Spike: Oh, uh, well, they are changelings, so they can... change.
Royal guard 1: [to other guards] You hear that? These monsters can look like any of us, so be on guard, guards! Even more than normal.
Spike: And they could be anywhere.
Royal guards: [affirming snort]
Spike: So we should cover as much ground as possible. You, search that way!
[whoosh]
Spike: And you, search that way!
[whoosh]
Spike: And... I'll... just search... here, I guess. Not many places to hide. Unless that rock is a changeling. Okay, rock. How do I know you're really a rock? Hmm. Not talkin', huh? Well, you can't fool me! Uhh! Ow! [screams]
Spike: Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Oh! Uhh!
[boulder thuds]
Spike: Phew! [kisses] Okay. Maybe it's time Spike the Brave and Glorious went back to, uh, protect those guards. Gah! [sighs] Just my reflection. Huh? Ha! Ha-ha! Hmm. Just my imagination, I guess.
[transformation noise]
Spike: [screams]
Spike: Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changeling! [stutters]
Thorax: No, wait! Come back!
Spike: [screaming]
[thud]
Spike: [screaming] This is unexpected.
[splat]
Thorax: The ice is pretty slippery. I wouldn't want you to get hurt because of me.
Spike: You... saved me?
Thorax: It's okay. I know you don't wanna be friends.
Spike: Wait! I don't understand. Changelings are supposed to be evil... right?
Thorax: Evil? Oh, not me. All I've ever wanted is a friend.
Thorax: [narrating] From the moment I first split my egg in the nursery hive...
[changeling larva hissing]
Baby Thorax: [whimpering]
Thorax: [narrating] I was part of the attack on Canterlot during the royal wedding, but I'd never seen true friendship like that! And I couldn't just steal it and feed on its love. I wanted to share it!
[explosion]
Thorax: After that, I knew I couldn't live with my kind anymore. I set off looking for love to share, but...
Spike: But... what?
Thorax: I'm starving! And there's so much love in the Crystal Empire right now. It's what drew me here! But it's drivin' me crazy!
Spike: That would be from the royal Crystalling. It's pretty much a giant outpouring of light and love for a new baby.
Thorax: [hisses] Oh, sorry! I'm just so hungry! If I had a friend, maybe the love we shared could sustain me, but I don't think the Crystal Ponies want to be friends.
Spike: What if I told you there was somepony they respect and admire so much, he could convince them to give it a try?
Thorax: If only that were true.
Spike: It is! I mean, I am! It's me, Spike! Spike the Brave and Glorious? I'm sure you've heard of me.
Thorax: Nope. But I was raised by an evil queen. I'm Thorax. I can't believe you want to help me.
Spike: Why? Hasn't anypony ever just been nice to you?
Thorax: [hisses] Uh! S-Sorry! Kindness like that kind of brings it out. Do you still wanna be my friend?
Spike: Of course! And I am one hundred percent sure I can get the whole Crystal Empire to be your friend too.
Thorax: [hisses]
Spike: But... maybe I should just, uh, talk to them first.
Thorax: [muffled grunting]
Royal guard 1: What do you mean? Did you see the changeling?
Royal guard 2: Did you defeat the evil creature?
Spike: Defeating a changeling would be brave, but do you know what would be glorious?
Royal guard 1: Defeating two changelings?
Royal guard 2: Defeating all the changelings?
Spike: Not having to fight the changeling at all! Because I made friends with him.
[guards laughing]
Royal guard 1: Oh, wow! For a second I thought you were serious!
Royal guard 2: [laughing] Could you imagine? Friends with a changeling?
Spike: I am serious. He wants to be friends!
[guards laughing]
Royal guard 2: Right!
Royal guard 1: Not only are you Spike the Brave and Glorious, you're also Spike the Hilarious!
Royal guard 2: [laughing]
Spike: I'm not joking! The changeling is nice!
[guards laughing harder]
Shining Armor: I'm sorry, but I don't think it's funny. The Changeling Queen Chrysalis kidnapped Cadance and cast a spell on me.
[zip!]
Shining Armor: There's no such thing as a nice changeling.
Spike: You're right, Shining Armor. Sorry. That was a... bad joke.
Thorax: So? So? Uh, what did they say? How many new friends do I have?
Spike: Well, it didn't go exactly the way I thought.
Thorax: [groans] I understand. Well, thanks for trying. I-I guess it's not surprising. How can you expect ponies who looks like this... [transformation noise] to trust something that looks like this? [transformation noise]
Spike: I think I might know!
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, if you're done searching for the changeling, Starlight and I could use your help. We're working on a protection spell for Flurry Heart, and nopony takes notes like you.
Spike: Uh, actually, Twilight, I, uh, wanted to introduce you to my friend, uh... Uh, Crystal, uh... Hoof! Crystal Hoof! [chuckles] My good friend, Crystal Hoof.
Thorax: Nice to meet you.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Well, it's, uh, nice to meet you, too. How do you know Spike?
Thorax: Oh, uh, Spike and I go way back.
Spike: To the Equestria Games! That's when we met. We've been pen pals ever since.
Twilight Sparkle: Pen pals? Spike! You could have been using my pen pal quill set! Why didn't you tell me?
Spike: Well, I... I pretty much only write to him when you and Starlight are... studying.
Thorax: I like to brag to all my friends about my letters from Spike the Brave and Glorious.
Spike: Yeah. [laughs nervously]
Thorax and Spike: [laugh nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm sure Starlight and I can manage, if you want to spend time with your friend.
Spike: Great! Crystal Hoof promised to take me around the city.
Thorax: Oh, that was amazing!
Spike: I told ya.
[montage music]
Royal guard 1: [hushed] Crystal Hoof is nearly as entertaining as Spike himself.
Thorax: [gasps] This place is everything I've ever dreamed of! [hushed] But I can't keep pretending to be a Crystal Pony forever, can I?
Spike: Relax. You're winning them over. Pretty soon, nopony will care that you're a changeling.
Princess Cadance: Spike! Twilight told me you were off with a friend.
Spike: [nervous laugh]
Princess Cadance: And any friend of Spike the Brave and Glorious is a friend of mine.
Flurry Heart: [coos]
Thorax: Oh, she's so beautiful! There's so much l-love around her...! I... I...!
[transformation noise]
Thorax: [hisses]
Princess Cadance: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Thorax: I... [hisses] I'm so... [hisses] ...sorry...! I can't... Can't [hisses] ...stop!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Get away from the changeling!
Spike: Wait, no! You don't understand!
Sunburst: This changeling replaced your friend to get close to the baby! What other explanation could there be?!
Spike: I...
Thorax: [hisses]
Spike: ...I don't know.
Thorax: [whimpers]
Royal guard 1: After it! Don't let the changeling escape!
Princess Cadance: I hope your friend is okay.
Spike: Yeah... Me, too.
Royal guard 1: Spike, you should go find Crystal Hoof while we hunt down the changeling.
Spike: I'm pretty sure he doesn't wanna see me.
Shining Armor: Spread out! The changeling is probably still nearby!
Spike: Actually, I'm pretty sure he ran as far away from here as possible.... But I bet I know where!
Spike: Thorax! Hello? I just want to apologize! I should have stood up for you... Aw, come on, Thorax! I know you're in here!
[transformation noise]
Thorax: Leave me alone! [hisses]
Spike: [yelps] [panting] Little help?
Thorax: Why do you think I would help you? I'm an "evil changeling"!
Spike: Because you're my friend. I just wish I had been one to you. [yelps]
Thorax: It's okay, I know it's hard. Everyone in the Crystal Empire loves you. I couldn't ask you to give that up for me.
Spike: You don't have to ask.
Thorax: What are you gonna do?
Spike: What I should've done in the first place.
Royal guards: Let's move! Move! Move! This way! This way! Let's go! Check there? Okay. Over here! Over here! [etc.]
[guards shouting]
Royal guard: Look around that corner! Over there! Over there! [etc.]
Starlight Glimmer: I know it's bad that there's a changeling around, but is all this really necessary?
Princess Cadance: If there's one changeling, there may well be a whole army on the way.
Twilight Sparkle: True. But Starlight has a point. This is getting a little out of hand.
Princess Cadance: [sighs] I understand, but I don't know what else we can do.
Spike: I do!
[ponies gasp]
Shining Armor: Spike! What are you doing?! Get away from that thing!
Spike: No. He's not a "thing"! His name is Thorax, and he's my friend!
Royal guards and Shining Armor: [gasp]
Princess Cadance and Sunburst: [gasp]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasp]
[Spike]
Would you say I'm a hero
Glorious and brave
If I told you something you wouldn't believe?
That sometimes I'm scared
And I can make mistakes
And I'm not so heroic, it seems
But if day can turn to night
And the darkness turn to light
Then why can't we imagine a changeling can change?
No two ponies are exactly the same
No two snowflakes ever match their design
And I thought I was strong
But I was nothing but wrong
When I forgot to be friendly and kind
But if day can turn to night
And the darkness turn to light
Then why can't we imagine a changeling can change?
Would you say I'm a hero
Glorious and brave
If I told you something you wouldn't believe?
This changeling, it seems
Knows the real me
And would stay by my side 'til the end
So if day can turn to night
And the darkness turn to light
Then why can't we imagine
Just why can't we imagine
Then why can't we imagine a changeling can change?
[long beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I'm so proud of you.
Spike: You are?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! You're a celebrity here in the Crystal Empire, and you just risked all of it for a friend! I can't imagine anything more brave than that. [to others] As the Princess of Friendship, I try to set an example for all of Equestria. But today, it was Spike who taught me that a new friend can come from anywhere. I guess everypony still has things to learn about friendship. Even me! And if Spike says Thorax is his friend, then he's my friend too.
Thorax: Thank you.
Princess Cadance: On behalf of the Crystal Empire, I would like to extend my hoof in friendship, and I'm sure all of my subjects are eager to do the same.
[guards cheering]
Flurry Heart: [coos]
Shining Armor: Welcome to the Crystal Empire, Thorax. I'm sorry we didn't take the time to get to know you. Maybe we can change that now.
Thorax: That'd be so amazing! I want to know all about friendship, and maybe one day I can take that knowledge back to the Changeling Kingdom! If my kind learned how to create love for one another, maybe they wouldn't have to take it from others!
Royal guard 1: To Spike the Brave and Glorious!
[cheering]
Starlight Glimmer: Looks like you were right after all.
Twilight Sparkle: Right about what?
Starlight Glimmer: Friendship lessons can happen anywhere.
[credits]

Dungeons & Discords

Discord: Tea?
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Discord: Trendy coats? Bedrolls? Saddlebags? Oh! A surprise vacation just for the two of us? How thoughtful. I hear Puerto Caballo is lovely this time of year. Sand like powdered sugar. [blows]
[sprinkling]
Fluttershy: Um, Princess Celestia's taking us on an overnight goodwill tour of Yakyakistan. I just found out.
Discord: [gasps] So what you're saying is no tea? Ugh. Well. [clears throat] That's fine. I wasn't thirsty anyway.
Fluttershy: If you're looking for something to do, you could spend the evening with Spike and Big Mac.
Discord: [laughs]
[beat]
Discord: You aren't kidding.
Fluttershy: They're very nice. They have a "top secret" thing they do whenever we leave Ponyville. Although everypony knows about it, so it's not a very good secret. I think you'd have fun with them.
Discord: Fun? With sidekicks? Oh, you must think that we're in a dimension where everything is opposite. [snap] "Da-dee-la! I'm Opposite Discord, and I want to hang out with Spike and Big Mac! I'm sure I'd have fun!"
Opposite Fluttershy: Well, guess what, Sassafras?! I'm Opposite Fluttershy, and I'm sick of being nice and quiet all the time!
Discord: [snap] Let me explain it to you as simply as I can. Me? Amazing! Them? Well, I've already forgotten who we're talking about. You see?
Fluttershy: All I'm saying is it's an opportunity to expand your circle of friends. [coddling] Unless you're afraid they won't like you?
Discord: Oh, please. Don't stoop to tedious reverse psychology. You're better than that.
Fluttershy: It never hurts to make new friends.
Discord: [scoffs] Consider it considered.
[magic poof]
Fluttershy: [humming] [gasps]
Discord: Couldn't I just come with you instead?
[theme song]
Discord: I suppose this is goodbye then. Have an absolutely fabulous voyage. [snap]
[magic zap]
Fluttershy: Discord...
Discord: [gasps] Well, it's not my fault the new train route leads into an active volcano. Guess you'll have to stay.
[beat]
Discord: Oh, you're no fun. [snap]
[magic zap]
Applejack: I got my bedroll, parka, unattractive but functional hikin' boots... Uh, anything I forgot, Pinkie Pie? You're our resident Yakyakistan expert.
Pinkie Pie: Nope! I brought yeti food!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Did I forget to mention there's a pony-eating yeti on Frost Field Glacier? We're gonna have so much fun!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. If he messes with us, I'll turn that yeti into confetti!
[train whistle blows]
[train chugging]
Applejack: Heh. Somepony's in an awful quick hurry to get us out of here. Don't y'all have too much fun without us.
Twilight Sparkle: I bet you boys have big plans. Right, Spike?
Spike: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. Although if I did, I certainly wouldn't be allowed to discuss it with you girls.
Twilight Sparkle: Buh-bye!
[train whistle blows]
Applejack: Bye, y'all!
[train chugging]
[train whistle]
[long beat]
Big McIntosh: [unintelligible whispering]
Spike: [whispering] Uh, I dunno what to say. I mean, I hope he comes but I kinda don't want him to think of it...
Big McIntosh: [hushed] Yup.
[magic zap]
Discord: Fascinating article, yes? [nervous laugh] [hushed, to himself] Don't let them come over, please don't let them come over, please don't let them come over, please, please, please— [normal] Oh, salutations, my friend! Wish I could stay and chat, but I don't want to.
Spike: Wait! Um, we were wondering... What are you up to tonight?
Discord: [to himself] Oh, here we go...
Spike: Do you wanna, I don't know, hang out? Is that, like, something you do?
Discord: Oh, Twilight's friend and Applejack's monosyllabic brother, if only I weren't super busy this evening.
Spike: [to Big McIntosh] I guess guys' night will just be you and me.
Discord: A guys' night? You mean a rowdy evening of reckless revelry? Zoot suits, fedoras, swing dancing?
Spike: Eh, something like that. [nervous] You should totally come. Three of us would be way better than two...
Discord: That does sound fun, actually...
Spike: Too bad you're busy.
[magic zap]
Discord: Well, I suppose I could squeeze you in if I move a few very important ponies around.
[click]
Discord: [gravelly accent] June, honey, be a dear. Reschedule Luna and Cay-Cay. [normal, aside] That's what I call Princess Celestia, what a hoot! [gravelly accent] In fact, clear the whole evening. Tonight is guys' night. These fellas invited me to spice things up and bring a little class to the whole affair.
[magic zap]
[rumble]
Discord: [normal voice] Tonight will be the best night of your lives, and not just because you get to bask in my greatness.
Spike: I do like basking in things. See you tonight. [hushed] Twilight's castle. The fun starts promptly at sundown.
Discord: Technically, the fun starts when I arrive, but I'll make sure it's around sunset. Adieu, fellas.
[magic zap]
Spike: And... we have sundown. Repeat, we have sundown. I declare tonight's guys' night ceremonies officially open!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: It's guys' night.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Spike: Oh, yeah.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Spike: Havin' fun now.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Spike: Oh, yeah!
Big McIntosh: Oh, yeah!
[fanfare]
Spike: What the hay?
[cartoon skedaddling]
Mini-Discord: [high-pitched] Announcing the much anticipated arrival of the spirit of chaos and disharmony, the purveyor of pandemonium, lord of lawlessness, earl of turmoil, bringer of bedlam... [imitating fanfare] Discord!
[electronic music playing]
[confetti exploding]
[magic zap]
Discord: So, shall we hop to it? I made a list of the rowdiest establishments in Ponyville. It's rather short.
Spike: Actually, we're staying here. I hope you like awesome games!
Discord: Games? I love games. I'm great at games.
[magic zap]
Discord: Famous pony charades? Oh, this is an easy one. Who am I? Huh? Huh?
[beat]
Discord: Oh, come on!
Spike: Uh... I'm talkin' about a real game.
Discord: Oh, you mean like trapping best friend ponies in hedge mazes and turning them against each other. Those were the days.
[Celestia's mane yowls]
[magic zap]
Spike: Not exactly. Wait here.
[beat]
Discord: Whatever it is, it can only get better by adding me to the mix.
Spike: [off-screen] Okay!
[click]
Spike: In a world where evil reigns supreme, a small band of warriors stands tall against the darkness. This is... Ogres & Oubliettes!
Discord: [gasps]
Discord: Oh, this looks like...
Spike: The best game ever? You're right!
Discord: Yes...
Spike: Ogres & Oubliettes is a fantasy role-playing adventure game. Our goal, defeat the evil Squid Wizard, or... [stifling laughter] as we call him... the Squizard!
Big McIntosh: [stifled laughter]
[beat]
Spike: [chuckling] [clears throat] The Squizard has laid siege to the last free city in Spiketopia. That's the name of the land. He's kidnapped a beautiful unicorn princess named Shmarity. [beat] Uh, which is like a normal name in Spiketopia, so, you know, don't think about it too much.
Discord: Fear not. Your romantic delusions are safe with me.
[zip!]
Spike: First things first – you've gotta create a character! Name?
Discord: How about... Discord?
Spike: [sighs] The whole point of the game is you get to use your imagination to be someone you're not. I'm Garbunkle, a famous magician. Everyone treats me with the utmost respect.
Discord: Just like in real life?
[crack]
Spike: And don't get jealous, but I'm a level 30 Enchanter with major skill points assigned to Intellect and Perception.
[hairdryer running]
Discord: [not listening] Go on, I'm listening.
Spike: Big Mac's character is Sir McBiggun, a level 27 Black Knight Unicorn from Castle Chadwick!
Discord: [still not listening] I'm listening.
Spike: When his king aligned himself with the Squizard, Sir McBiggun would not besmirch his honor.
Big McIntosh: Nnope!
Discord: [clears throat] [mumbling] I'm listening.
Spike: And so it came to pass, the magician and black knight vowed to rid Spiketopia of the evil Squizard.
[balloon deflating]
Spike: So, your character's name?
Discord: I already have the best name in the universe. Why would I change it for something like "Captain Wuzz"?
Spike: Captain Wuzz it is!
Discord: [groans]
Spike: What class are you, Captain Wuzz? There's Archers, Mages, Rogues...
Discord: [snorts] Can I suggest we take a break and, I don't know, go out and have some fun? Ponyville's not going to paint itself red.
Spike: You'll love it once we get started! [rolls die] How 'bout an Archer?
Discord: Sounds just as miserable as the other options. So fine.
[tok]
Spike: Sir McBiggun, are you prepared to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Spike: Discord, or should I say, Captain Wuzz, are you—
Discord: Oh, get on with it.
Spike: [rolls dice] We find ourselves trapped in the dungeon of the evil Squizard. The bars are locked tight.
[beat]
Spike: The bars exist in our imagination.
Discord: Really? You describe things, and then we pretend it's real?
Spike: It is real. In our imagination. It's your turn first. What do you wanna do?
Discord: Curse myself for attending this infernal evening? Ohhh, no, you mean in the game.
Spike: Well, you can do whatever you want. Then, I roll this twenty-sided die and see if you're successful.
[clang]
Discord: I stick my head through the bars and demand for the immediate release of the Lord of Chaos.
Spike: That's a big risk. You have to roll a seventeen or higher to succeed. [rolls die] Ooh, bad idea. The guard gets mad.
Discord: This spell here. I transform him into a parsnip.
Spike: You need eleven Intelligent points to cast a Transform Into Root Vegetable spell.
Discord: I'm not intelligent? I cast it anyway because this game is stupid.
[thud]
Spike: [rolls die] The spell backfires. So [stifling laughter] your claws grow leaves and transform into parsnips!
Big McIntosh: [chuckling] Parsnips. [laughs]
Discord: [growls]
Spike: The guard laughs. He calls his friends over, and they laugh too.
Spike and Big McIntosh: [laughing]
Discord: Don't you laugh at me, Big Mac! Does it really say that? Let me see.
Big McIntosh: [laughing]
Spike: [rolls die] [laughs] As you get angrier, everypony laughs harder!
Discord: I seal Sir McBiggun in a magic bubble until he stops laughing!
Spike: I told you, you can't do magic!
Spike and Big McIntosh: [laughing]
[magic zap]
Big McIntosh: Whoaa! Nope! Nope! Nope!
Discord: "Not intelligent enough." Please.
Spike: Cut it out, Discord!
Discord: Oh, this game is insufferable! Let me show you a real guys' night!
[snap]
[upbeat jazz]
Discord: [laughing] This is the life! Jazz, dancing, the best table magic can buy! This is what guys' night is all about. Am I right, fellas?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: I know you probably didn't do this on purpose, but this table's the perfect size and shape!
Discord: I don't think so. Let's have a drink. Chocolate milkshakes?
Spike: [sighs] No, we want to go back to Ogres &—
Discord: Oh, how 'bout a different game? [magic zap] Those are very bad cards.
Spike: Stop messing with us! We wanna—
[magic zap]
Discord: A dance contest?
[upbeat jazz BGM]
Discord: Surprise! We won!
Spike: Discord!
Discord: [sinister] Yes?
Spike: Look, we don't wanna do these things. We wanna play our game. If you don't want to play with us, you can, I don't know, sit and watch.
Discord: Sit and watch? Fine. We'll play your game. [reverberating] Are you ready to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?
[magic zap]
Spike: Sir McBiggun?!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: And I'm... Garbunkle? That means... Sweetness! We're in the game! Check it out! Ka-zam!
[magic zaps]
[shings]
Spike: It's guys' night!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: Oh, yeah!
Big McIntosh: Yup!
Spike: In the game now!
Big McIntosh: Yup!
Spike: Oh, yeah!
Big McIntosh: Oh, yeah!
Spike: Discord, where are you? This is great! You made the game real!
Discord: [reverberating] [laughs] Aren't games fun?
Spike: Should we be worried he's using his scary voice?
[army marching]
Squizard: Behold! I am the Squizard!
Spike and Big McIntosh: [gasps]
Discord: [reverberating] [chuckles] You're welcome.
Squizard: Attack!
[army shouting]
Spike: Run!
Spike and Big McIntosh: [panting]
[arrows being fired]
Discord: [reverberating] You find yourself on the battlefield. A barrage of arrows rains down on you. If you roll a fifteen or higher, the shield protects you. Fourteen or lower and, well... [laughs] You get the idea.
[thud]
[magic zap]
Discord: Seventeen! Lucky you!
Big McIntosh: [grunts]
Discord: Boo.
Spike and Big McIntosh: [panting]
Discord: Boo.
Spike and Big McIntosh: [screaming]
Spike: Discord!
[magic zap]
Discord: Sir McBiggun, I'd cover the entrance if I were you.
[shing!]
Spike: This isn't funny!
Discord: Isn't this what every gamer wants? To live the game? Like this?!
[magic zaps]
[thud]
Spike: Ugh!
[army shouting]
[thud]
Spike: [groans] This kinda hurts! Like, real pain!
[magic zap]
Discord: Oh, how kind of you to notice. It's the little details that really bring alternate dimensions to life, wouldn't you say?
Spike: Discord, this is awful!
[magic zap]
Squizard: Of course it is! Spiketopia will be mine! And Rarity shall be my bride!
[beat]
Squizard: I mean, Shmarity.
[magic zap]
Spike and Big McIntosh: [gibbering]
[thud]
Spike: Why are you doing this? You're the worst!
Discord: If I'm the worst, then why did you invite me?
Spike: Because we felt bad for you!
Discord: Because you... what?!
[snap]
[magic zap]
Spike: [panting] We're okay, we're okay! No thanks to you, Discord!
Discord: You felt sorry for me?
Spike: Who wouldn't? Fluttershy told us you practically begged her to stay! And then at the train station, you were just standing there, all alone!
Discord: This can't be. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because I'm me and you're you.
Spike: [sighs] We only invited you to be nice! I mean, you're kind of a... weirdo!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Discord: I ruined your night, and you don't even think I'm cool? Ugh. [zap] [muffled] How embarrassing. I should go. [normal] I have a lot of other friends I need to see tonight.
Spike: Good!
Discord: Yes, so many other friends. [whimpers] Farewell, Garbunkle the magician and brave Sir McBiggun. May providence smile upon thee in thy quest to rid Spiketopia of the dreaded Squizard... [sighs] When I say it that way, the game doesn't sound half bad.
[magic zap]
Discord: Oh, well.
[magic zap]
Spike: [sighs] It... it's better this way, right?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Spike: Because... now he can't bother us, 'cause he's off somewhere by himself... all alone... with no friends.
Big McIntosh: Yup.
Spike: [sighs] [clears throat] [unenthusiastic] We find ourselves in the dungeon of the evil Squizard. The bars are locked, and... Ah, who am I kidding? We should give him another chance. [clears throat] Captain Wuzz? Can you hear me?
[magic zap]
Discord: Oh! You realized how amazing I am and that I make you cooler just by being around me?
[beat]
Discord: Uh... [stammering] No, no, actually, that's not what I meant to say... I'm... sssssss...
Spike: What?
Discord: I'm ssssssss—
Spike: Can't hear you.
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Discord: I'm trying to say I'm sorry, all right?! I'm sorry for ruining your game, and I'm sorry that I thought I was better than you! [pants] [quickly] Now let's play before this evening gets any sappier, shall we?
[magic zap]
Big McIntosh: [unintelligible whispering]
Spike: Huh? Yeah, yeah! Okay! What if we forgot the board and the pieces for a minute? I mean, the whole game coming to life was completely terrifying, but also kind of the best thing ever! So, uh, Big Mac and I were wondering... What if you toned it down just a teensy bit?
[main cast chattering]
[doors open]
Mane Six: Huh?
[army shouting]
Spike: I've got your back, Captain Wuzz!
[magic zap]
Big McIntosh: Wha-hah!
Discord: [grunts]
Spike, Big McIntosh and Discord: [panting]
Squizard: [evil laughter]
Discord: [accented] Garbunkle! Follow my lead!
[magic zap]
Squizard: [squeaks]
[crunch]
Spike: Bull's-eye!
Discord: Nice one!
Spike and Discord: It's guys' night!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike and Discord: Oh, yeah!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike and Discord: Having fun now!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike and Discord: Oh, yeah!
Big McIntosh: Oh, yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: We should just close the door and let them finish... whatever this... is.
Rainbow Dash: No way! Did you see Big Mac's sword? I totally want in!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I don't know what it is, but it looks like super duper fun!
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: Guys' night!
[credits]

Buckball Season

[birds chirping]
Applejack: [hocks, spits]
[wind whistling]
[thunk]
[slow motion sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack! Whatcha doin'?
Applejack: Whoa! Oof! Ugh! Well, I was practicin' my distance buckin'.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, distance bucking? What for?
Applejack: Because Cousin Braeburn and the rest of the Apple family in Appleloosa seem to think that their team can beat Ponyville at buckball.
[thunk, smack]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: What?! Ha! That's ridiculous! Nopony beats Ponyville! I mean, I could beat the whole town of Appleloosa at buckball with one wing tied behind my back!
[thunk]
Applejack: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Applejack: [grunts]
[crash]
Applejack: So I can count on ya to join the Ponyville buckball team?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! I am so there! I've just got one question.
Applejack: Hmm?
Rainbow Dash: Uh... what's buckball?
Applejack: [groans]
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: So, basically, buckball is the coolest game ever. Offense, defense, teamwork, nonstop action! It's got it all!
Fluttershy: Wow, Rainbow Dash. You sure seem to know a lot about this game. I've never even heard of... buckball.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm kind of an expert.
Applejack: Hmph. An expert who hadn't heard of the game either until I told you.
Rainbow Dash: Well, it's a new game. I probably know more than most ponies, so that makes me an expert.
Pinkie Pie: I don't know anything about it at all. But it sounds like there's a ball and bucking, so I'm betting it's super duper fun!
Applejack: The point is, my cousin Braeburn somehow convinced a Pegasus and a unicorn to come play with him on the Appleloosa team, and he can't stop braggin' about how his team is gonna beat ours!
Fluttershy: But, um, we don't have a team.
Rainbow Dash: Well, between Applejack and me, we've got two-thirds of a team. All we need is a unicorn. That's where you two come in.
Pinkie Pie: [whispering loudly to Fluttershy] Uh... they know we're not unicorns, right?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, obviously. You're gonna be on my team, and Fluttershy is gonna be on Applejack's team.
Applejack: We'll play against each other along with whatever unicorns want to try out until we find the best one.
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhh! Phew! That's a relief because I left my unicorn costume at home!
Applejack: I know a lot of you are here because I told you what an amazin' game buckball is. And even though it's already an Apple family favorite, most o' you probably don't know anything about it. So I thought we'd give you a quick demonstration. The two Earth ponies are on offense. They meet in the middle of the field for the buckoff. They both try to be the first one to kick it.
[ball bounces]
Applejack: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: And the Pegasus is on defense. She tries to keep the ball from going in the goal and passes it back to the Earth pony on her team. Just give it a little kick, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Yaah!
Fluttershy: Aah!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh. I get it.
Applejack: And all the unicorns have to do is float these here baskets around the outside of the field and catch as many balls as possible for their team. [to Pinkie and Fluttershy] You two get the idea?
Pinkie Pie: Absolutely!
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't know. That ball moves pretty fast.
Rainbow Dash: All right. Now let's see which of you has what it takes.
"Crimson Heart": Um, what do I do?
Rainbow Dash: When the ball comes towards you, catch it.
Granny Smith: [blows whistle]
Applejack: Okay, just try your best, Pinkie. I have been doin' this a lot longer than you.
Pinkie Pie: [grunts] Aah!
Applejack: [dazzled] Nice kick.
Fluttershy: Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa! Whee! [giggles]
Applejack: Great save, Fluttershy!
"Aloha": [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Coming your way, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: Somersault kick!
"Crimson Heart": [whimpers]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, this game is easy!
Fluttershy: Ooh! [giggles] It actually is kinda fun!
Applejack: Where did Pinkie Pie learn to buck like that?
Rainbow Dash: And Fluttershy's spinning tail catch is pretty amazing.
Applejack: Um... okay. Well, let's see what the rest of you can do.
Applejack: Now, don't expect to be able to beat me twice in a row.
Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Well, hello there, Mr. Ball. Whee!
Applejack: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Hiya!
Fluttershy: Hurry along, butterflies, before that ball comes and hits you.
Sea Swirl: Aah!
[whoosh]
Applejack: Nope. Um... okay. Let's see what the rest of you can do.
[bonk!]
Rainbow Dash: Nope.
Applejack: Definitely not.
[whirl!]
"Sweet Biscuit": [gags]
Rainbow Dash: No.
Applejack: Not a chance.
Rainbow Dash: No.
Applejack: Nope.
Rainbow Dash: Aaaand... no.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] This didn't go how I thought it would.
Pinkie Pie: Whee! [giggles, grunts] Yeah! Ha! [giggles] Whee! Ha ha!
Applejack: It sure didn't.
Fluttershy: This game is a whole lot more fun than I thought it would be.
Pinkie Pie: It's exactly as much fun as I thought it would be! A whole bunch!
[Snails]
Carryin' my water
My water, my water
Carryin' my water
On my shoulder pole
Pinkie Pie: Snails! Look out!
Snails: Hmm?
[water splashing]
Applejack: Amazing!
Snails: You should be more careful with these. You could lose them.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Snails, can you float one of those baskets over here?
Snails: Hmm? Sure. What do you want me to do with it?
Applejack: Catch!
Snails: Anything else?
Fluttershy: Wow, Snails. You're a natural at buckball.
Pinkie Pie: It's a good thing, too. We were running out of unicorns.
Fluttershy: Do you think you'll be ready to play with Applejack and Rainbow Dash against the Appleloosa team?
Snails: I guess I'll find out. Plus, after I deliver this water, I don't really have anything else to do.
Rainbow Dash: Well, Snails, with you on the team, Ponyville is one step closer to crushing Appleloosa!
Applejack: Huh. And after today, it's pretty clear who the other two players should be.
Fluttershy: W-What do you mean? I thought you and Dash were gonna play.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! If you're not crushing Appleloosa, who is?
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Uh, you two, obviously!
Fluttershy: Um, you want us to play buckball against Appleloosa instead of you?
Rainbow Dash: Mm-hmm.
Pinkie Pie: That's "uncredible"!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Unbelievable and incredible? [scoffs] Come on!
Applejack: I can't explain it, but you two are really good at this game. And if it means beatin' Appleloosa, I'll give either one of you my spot on the team quicker than Granny Smith can core an apple.
Rainbow Dash: Me, too. I'd normally be so pumped all of Ponyville was counting on me to win, I'd run right over the competition. But you still flew rings around me.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sorry. I was just having fun.
Applejack: Well, you can have all the fun you want as long as it's while you're beatin' the hide off of Braeburn's team.
Pinkie Pie: I do like fun!
Fluttershy: Honestly, the game was a little scary at first, but once I got the hang of it, I had a pretty good time.
Pinkie Pie: Let's get this party started!
Applejack: All right. But if we really wanna beat Appleloosa, we're gonna have to get serious.
Fluttershy: Serious?
Pinkie Pie: Serious how?
Applejack: With serious practice!
Fluttershy: [gulps] Wow. This looks pretty intense.
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh! You two are gonna be representing all of Ponyville. And, more importantly, us!
Applejack: That's why, before we leave for Appleloosa tomorrow, you two are gonna practice just as hard as we would.
Rainbow Dash: So let's hop to it! Snails already has a head start on you!
[balls bouncing]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, if you wanna win, you totally gotta get this drill down!
[knees shaking]
Fluttershy: I-I-I do?
[epic rock training montage music]
Fluttershy: [gasps, gasps loudly, gasps, whimpers]
[brakes screech, music stops]
Rainbow Dash: It's all about ball control.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Ready? Go! Come on! Faster! You don't want Ponyville to lose because you can't get into high gear, do you?!
Fluttershy: [gasps] Whoa! Ugh!
Applejack: All right. Bein' able to buck a ball into a goal from any direction is the most important thing in the game.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, if you say so.
[bucks, thud]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Whee! Whee! Whoopee! Woo-hoo! [grunts]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Woo-hoo!
[balls thudding]
Applejack: Keep it up! Just one miss'll ruin the Apple family's buckball reputation forever!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! What?! [grunts]
[bonk]
Pinkie Pie: Whoops.
[epic rock training montage music]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! Push! Push! Push!
[clang]
[circling birdies]
Applejack: Come on, now! Every shot is for Sweet Apple Acres! And me! And Dash! And all of Ponyville!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Uhh! Ow.
Rainbow Dash: Faster!
Fluttershy: Whoa!
Applejack: Come on now!
Pinkie Pie: Wh-Wh-Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Fluttershy: Aah! [gasps]
Applejack: Keep it up!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
[bonking]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Applejack: What in the apple happened to those two?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. They mopped the field with us before.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
Applejack: All right! That's it for today, y'all!
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: Phew!
Pinkie Pie: I thought practice was supposed to make us better.
Fluttershy: Maybe we just need a little rest.
Rainbow Dash: Or a whole lot of it.
Applejack: Just be sure to get your heads in the game before tomorrow. All of Ponyville is countin' on a win.
Fluttershy: I really don't want to let Applejack and Rainbow Dash down, or anypony else, but after that practice, I'm not feeling very confident.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe we weren't that bad!
Fluttershy: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: I guess I was hoping you saw something I didn't.
Fluttershy: I know our friends want us to win, but how can the whole town be counting on us if most ponies have never even heard of buckball?
Pinkie Pie: I know! How can we disappoint a pony who doesn't even know we have a team?
Fluttershy: Or that we're gonna play Appleloosa?
Pinkie Pie: Pfft. Yeah. I don't think we need to worry. I'd be surprised if anypony in this town cares about this game at all.
Crowd: Go, Ponyville! Go, Ponyville! Win, win, win! [background cheering] Woo-hoo! Ponyville! Way to go!
Snails: Whoa. The whole town really seems to care about this game a lot.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[train puffs]
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. We kinda went around town and talked up the team a little.
Applejack: Yup! We wanted to make sure you two knew that all of Ponyville was behind you!
Pinkie Pie: [nervous] Greaaaaat...
Applejack: I hear the whole town's already plannin' a parade for when you get back after whuppin' Appleloosa! That should feel pretty good!
Fluttershy: [nervous] It should...?
Rainbow Dash: Totally! Just spend the whole ride to Appleloosa thinking about everypony cheering for the victorious Ponyville buckball team! [gasps] I bet Princess Celestia even comes to congratulate you! If that doesn't get you in "the zone", I don't know what will!
Fluttershy: I don't know what zone Rainbow Dash is talking about, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in it. Do you?
Rainbow Dash: Hey! You two are supposed to be in the zone!
Pinkie Pie: [squeaks] You see... the thing is... thinking about everypony... thinking about us...! Aah! There's just no way to...!
Fluttershy: There's no way that we can get in the zone, because the zone sounds like a horrible place since we are terrible at buckball and we are going to lose and let everypony down and we don't want to play anymore!
Pinkie Pie: [bawling]
Snails: I'm still okay with playing, in case you were worried.
[general background chatter]
Rainbow Dash: I don't get it. They're naturals! Why wouldn't they want to play anymore?
Applejack: Maybe us telling them how much everypony was countin' on them messed them up somehow.
Rainbow Dash: What?! That's crazy talk! Having ponies depend on you is exactly what you need to focus! And—
Applejack: Get serious and play hard and—
Rainbow Dash: Get ready to totally smash the competition, and— and... none of that sounds like Pinkie or Fluttershy, does it?
Applejack: [sighs] Guess not. We got so wrapped up in what's important to us, we went and ruined what was fun about the game for them.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] What do we do now?
[knocking]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie? Fluttershy?
Applejack: We know you're in here! We've looked in every other car on the train!
Fluttershy: [muffled] Maybe you need to look again!
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Yeah! Because... we're totally not in here!
Fluttershy: [muffled] And we're definitely not in here if you're gonna try and make us play against Appleloosa!
Pinkie Pie: Or anypony else!
Applejack: [clears throat]
Fluttershy: Oh... we're sorry to let you down. But it's better to do it now than during the game against Appleloosa.
Rainbow Dash: You don't have to play against Appleloosa.
Fluttershy: We don't?
Applejack: Nope. We're gonna take your place. So you don't have to worry about that at all.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Why didn't you say so?
Rainbow Dash: But... we can't take on Braeburn and his team without any practice. So we need you to play just one more time.
Applejack: Against us.
Applejack: Now I know we mixed up the teams before, but since Dash and I really need the practice, we'll play against the two of you.
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't know how much practice you'll get against us. We've been playing just awful.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry about it. Applejack and I just need a little workout.
Applejack: Yup. You two just do your best.
Pinkie Pie: I can do that!
[whoosh]
Pinkie Pie: [nervous whimper]
[whoosh]
Fluttershy: [nervous whimper]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Applejack: Ahem.
Fluttershy: [grunts] Huh!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! [grunts]
Fluttershy: Looks like you two really do need practice!
[various whooshes]
[various thunks]
Pinkie Pie: Hee-hee! Ha! Whee!
Snails: [snoring]
Fluttershy: [giggling] If you need more practice, we can keep going.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I could do this all day!
Rainbow Dash: [panting] No, thanks. Playing against you two is just as humiliating now as it was when we weren't trying to show you how awesome you are.
Pinkie Pie: Wait... what?
Snails: Finally!
[thunk]
Applejack: You must've noticed how you aren't bad anymore.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah! Weird!
Fluttershy: But, um, why were we so terrible before?
Rainbow Dash: I guess some ponies thrive on pressure and some ponies don't. And even though we weren't playing, we were treating you like us, which totally stressed you out.
Applejack: And that just sucked the fun right out of the game for you.
Rainbow Dash: And having fun is what makes you really, really, really good!
Fluttershy: But being good doesn't matter if we're too afraid of letting ponies down.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! What about all those ponies back in Ponyville counting on us to win?
Applejack: I'm sure folks want you to win, but not if worrying about it makes you miserable. Winning's never worth that.
Fluttershy: But how do we keep from worrying about it?
Snails: You could do what I do and not think about it. Seriously. I don't think about anything. Ever.
Pinkie Pie: Hm. Works for me!
[crowd cheers]
Announcer: And with another bouncing goal from Pinkie Pie, the score is tied!
Rainbow Dash: You guys are amazing!
Pinkie Pie: [panting] Braeburn is really good!
Fluttershy: So is that Pegasus. Oh, I don't know if we can win.
Snails: You know what I would do?
Pinkie Pie: Not think about it?
Snails: Not think a— [beat] Oh, yeah. That.
Applejack: Ha. And as long as you're havin' fun, it doesn't matter if you win or not.
Lucky Clover: [blows whistle]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] I think it's more fun this way!
[thwack]
Announcer: And Pinkie wins the buckoff! But her shot's rejected! Back to Braeburn, whose kick's stopped by another Fluttershy save! Next point wins. Lots of tense back and forth here. Fluttershy unleashes her patented spin move, but Braeburn's there to— No! It's Pinkie with a somersault kick! What a move! And that's the game! Ponyville wins!
Crowd: [chanting] Ponyville! Ponyville! Ponyville! Ponyville! Ponyville! Ponyville! Ponyville!
Applejack: Huh. Looks like you three made quite an impression!
Braeburn: Well, cousin, I have to admit. Your Ponyville team played a pretty good game.
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Good game? We bucked the hooves right off of you!
Braeburn: Yup, you sure as shootin' did. I'm gonna have to get real serious about a strategy for our rematch.
Fluttershy: Oh, I wouldn't get too serious.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Everypony knows the secret to good buckball is just having fun!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Snails: [laughing]
[credits]

The Fault in Our Cutie Marks

[sand throwing and splatting]
Sweetie Belle: So Scootaloo's keeping Petunia busy like you asked. What did you two want to talk about?
Mrs. Paleo: I'm sure you get these questions all the time. Oh, this is so awkward.
Mr. Paleo: Um, you're the experts, so we thought you'd have some insight into our daughter's new, uh, cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: What's wrong?
Mrs. Paleo: Obviously, we're both very proud of her and her cutie mark...
Mr. Paleo: Despite its, um... unsettling nature.
Sweetie Belle: Unsettling?
[sand shuffling]
Apple Bloom: I don't get what you mean.
Mrs. Paleo: Her mark doesn't... bother you at all?
Scootaloo: Hey! Check out what we found!
Petunia Paleo: Look! A spiny-backed ponysaurus! In our own backyard! And I found him on my very own! How cool is that?!
Mrs. Paleo and Mr. Paleo: Oh! [chuckles] She's an archaeologist.
Scootaloo: Of course! What'd you think she was gonna be, a pirate?
[beat]
Mrs. Paleo: Pirate? Pfft! Why would we think that?
Mrs. Paleo and Mr. Paleo: [laughing nervously]
[theme song]
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo! Another successful cutie intervention! You know, Crusaders, I don't wanna toot our own horn, but we've helped a lot of ponies figure out their purpose in life. Like Bluenote here. Nice saxophone, Bluenote!
[saxophone playing]
Apple Bloom: Yep, everywhere you look, there's a pony we've helped find a purpose.
[tap dancing]
Apple Bloom: You've gotta admit. We've had a pretty good effect on everypony since we've discovered our destiny.
Scootaloo: And started helping other ponies discover theirs! Could this get any better or what?
Sweetie Belle: Now, Scootaloo, you do know there will always be challenges? Someday, somepony might even come to us with a problem that even we can't handle. Like, say...
Apple Bloom: A griffon?
Sweetie Belle: Ha! Exactly! Like a griffon. But that's just crazy talk.
Scootaloo: Or not!
Sweetie Belle: Is that really a griffon?
Apple Bloom: You're darn tootin' it is! What do you think that griffon wants?
Sweetie Belle: I guess we've gotta ask her, but aren't griffons supposed to be kind of mean and cranky?
Scootaloo: Crusaders, looks like we've gotta step carefully.
Gabby: The Cutie Mark Crusaders! I can't believe it's really, really you! [laughs]
Scootaloo: [strained voice] Aah! Ooh! This... griffon's... not... cranky.
Apple Bloom: How in the blooming apples did you know who we are?
Gabby: Know who you are? Know who you are?! Why, I've heard about you from everypony in Ponyville! I'm so excited to meet you, I could just explode! I'm Gabriella, but you can call me Gabby since we're friends now! Pleased to meet ya!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [groaning shakily]
Apple Bloom: Well, howdy... um... Gabby.
Gabby: [squeals] I'm just about the most excited anygriffon has ever been about anything!
Sweetie Belle: Excited? But whatever for?
Gabby: What for? What for?! Everypony in town tells me of your amazing assistance! How you help ponies find their place in the world!
Scootaloo: It's a calling, but—
Gabby: And that's why I'm here. I need help, too. I want you to give me a cutie mark!
Apple Bloom: Um, can a griffon even get a cutie mark?
Scootaloo: I dunno, but I think we should probably find out.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [chuckling nervously]
Scootaloo: So, Gabriella...
Gabby: Gabby, 'kay?
Scootaloo: Gabby, why do you even want a cutie mark?
Gabby: [slurping under]
Scootaloo: It doesn't seem like a very... griffon-y thing to want.
Gabby: Right? Right?! Right?!
[thud]
Gabby: You're tellin' me! I don't know if you've heard, but griffons can be a little bit... unfriendly.
Gabby: [voiceover] Most griffons don't pay much attention to each other. And if they do, it's not, y'know, the good kind of attention. As for me, I'm just a little mail delivery griffon who likes to spread a little bit of griffon-y sunshine on my rounds, which always makes me feel different from the other griffons.
[doors slamming]
Gabby: [voiceover] I'd do anything for any old griffon in need.
Elderly griffon: Ahh! Uhh!
Gabby: [voiceover] But it just always seemed like the harder I tried, the less I fit in. It wasn't until your friends came to Griffonstone that I realized some creatures actually like helping each other, and I saw something so awesomely awesome – how helping spreads from pony to pony and griffon to griffon! I knew then that I had to find out why I was so different from the other griffons, and I knew the answer just had to have something to do with those wonderful, amazing marks on the ponies' flanks. And I admit, hehe, I became, um, maybe a little obsessed. So first chance I had to deliver a letter from Gilda, I took it, so I could find the perfect pony to help me understand what those marks are. Everypony here told me one thing – I just had to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders! They've helped everypony here get their cutie marks, and I knew, I just knew, that someday I'd have one, too! A cutie mark of my very own!
Gabby: That's why I flew all the way here! I want to find my own place in the world, and I know you can help me by giving me a cutie mark! So let's make with the cutie! [giggles] Whenever you're ready. Did it happen yet?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, not exactly.
Gabby: Howboutnowhowboutnowhowboutnowhowboutnow?
Apple Bloom: Um, Gabby, I hate to break it to ya, but it sounds like you might've heard some tall tales about what Crusaders can do.
Scootaloo: I mean, we are kinda awesome and all, but nopony can just give you a cutie mark. It just sort of... happens.
Sweetie Belle: Though I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen to griffons. Or if it does, we've never ever heard of it.
Gabby: Oh. I hadn't thought of that. Sounds like a challenge! And who could be up to it but the world-famous Cutie Mark Crusaders? Cutie marks! It's in your name and everything, right? Right?! Right?! Now I have to deliver Gilda's letter to Rainbow Dash. I bet by the time I get back, you'll have it one hundred percent figured out! Toodles for now! Whee-hee-hee! Gonna get my cutie mark!
Sweetie Belle: What she wants... It's not possible, right?
Scootaloo: I don't know. But I know someone who just might.
Twilight Sparkle: I've read every book on the subject, and I've never read a thing about any creature other than a pony getting a cutie mark.
Scootaloo: But, Twilight, Gabby flew all the way here so we could help her. There's gotta be something we can do.
Sweetie Belle: Say, is there some kind of spell you can whip up to make her mark appear?
Twilight Sparkle: Um, I don't know if any of you remember, but using magic to get a cutie mark never really works out all that well.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ohhh. Right.
Twilight Sparkle: Crusaders, I'm sorry. While I can't say for certain that it's utterly impossible, the chances of Gabby getting an actual mark are... pretty slim. Everything I've ever learned tells me. It's just not gonna happen.
Apple Bloom: Oh, no! Poor Gabby! What the apples are we ever gonna tell her?
Sweetie Belle: Crusaders, this is terrible! Gabby really believed in us. And now, we're gonna let her down.
Apple Bloom: But what else can we do?
Scootaloo: Hmm. You know what, Crusaders? So what? Maybe we can't help Gabby get a cutie mark, but we can still do what we're best at. We can help her find her purpose!
Apple Bloom: And I reckon doing that is the same for griffons as it is for ponies or any other creature in Equestria.
Scootaloo: All we have to do is be extra-special clear with her. Like, Crystal Empire clear.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yeah!
Gabby: Incoming!
[thud]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [straining]
Gabby: Hiya, you wonderful, wonderful Crusaders! I just know you've figured out how to help me because you're all so incredible!
Scootaloo: Well, Gabby, we've talked it over, and we think we may just be able to help you out. But not exactly in the way you think. See, here's the thing about you getting a cutie mark—
Gabby: I'm getting a cutie mark!!! Woo-hoo-hoo! [yelling excitedly]
Scootaloo: Wait! You didn't let me finish!
Sweetie Belle: Um, I think maybe that could've been clearer.
Gabby: [rhythmically] Cutie mark! Cutie mark! Gonna get my cutie mark! [yelling excitedly]
Sweetie Belle: She's still going. Anypony know if griffons ever get tired?
Gabby: What do you think my mark will be? A lightning bolt? An erupting volcano? I don't care if it's a jar of marmalade! I know I'll love it, whatever it is!
Apple Bloom: Hold on just a hoofstep, Gabby. There's somethin' we need to clear up. We can definitely help you find your purpose, but that mark's probably not gonna happen.
Gabby: What?!?
Scootaloo: It's true. Twilight's never heard of a creature other than a pony getting a cutie mark.
Gabby: Oh! [laughs] Is that all? You had me worried for a second. I-I mean, there's a first time for everything, right? And she didn't say it was impossible, right?
Apple Bloom: Well, not exactly.
Gabby: Well, then if anypony can make it happen, it's you three. I mean, you haven't failed yet.
Scootaloo: You know what, Gabby? I promise we're gonna do everything we can to help you get your mark.
Gabby: Oh! It's gonna happen! I can feel it! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: Aaaaand... she's off again.
Apple Bloom: Why in tarnation would you promise somethin' that just can't be done?
Scootaloo: I know what it's like to want something that's out of reach. And just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it can't. Maybe trying for the impossible isn't so bad.
Sweetie Belle: Guess we'll never know for sure unless we give it a try.
Apple Bloom: All right, but where do we even start?
Scootaloo: Where we always do – with a good old-fashioned Crusaders chart.
Apple Bloom: The first thing we gotta do is find your purpose.
Scootaloo: Nopony gets a mark without one.
Gabby: All right. Let's do this.
Scootaloo: What are you good at? Do you play any sports?
Apple Bloom: Or like to dance?
Sweetie Belle: Or how about singing? I just love to sing! La-la-la-la!
Gabby: Wow! I kinda wanna just try everything! I mean, I don't even know what to pick!
Scootaloo: Don't worry. That's what we're here for.
[Sweetie Belle]
Like a racer at the starting line
You're chomping at the bit
[Scootaloo]
You are here to find your purpose
And a place you really fit
[Apple Bloom]
And until you find your place in life
You're never gonna quit
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
We can help you find the purpose in your life
[Gabby]
A griffon mixes lion's strength
With winged eagle's might
When I finally find my purpose
Then my cutie mark's in sight
Crusaders, I won't let you down
I've just begun to fight
You're gonna help me find the purpose in my life
Got a job that's just no fun?
Call on me, I'll get it done
Cauldron's stuck and needs a mix?
I'm the one who's got the fix
Help you teach pre-calculus
Scrub the floors, won't make a fuss
Clearing kelp? Just give a yelp
Raring to go, ready to help!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
That's the spirit
You ought to see what you do best
Try it all, pick your fave
And leave behind the rest
[Gabby]
I'll try anything
To get my cutie mark
Keep up with me, Crusaders
We're just getting our start
Rock your little ones to sleep
While hanging up the sheets
I can help you with your heavy load
Walk Granny 'cross the street
I'll run you 'round the bases fast
It's really no big feat
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Can we help her find the purpose in her life?
[Gabby]
Cheer you if you're feeling low
Plant your garden, make it grow
Write a piece for your quartet
Filling in on clarinet
Bake that cake as fast as lightning
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
She's so good at things, it's frightening
Cutie Mark Crusaders,
I think we've got a problem!
[Gabby]
Build a boat
And sail it out across the sea
Need some help?
You know that you can count on me
CMCs, you're gonna help me find my purpose
The purpose in my life!
In my life!
Apple Bloom: Now how we gonna do this?
Sweetie Belle: Gabby's special purpose can't be everything, right?
Apple Bloom: It may as well be. I don't know how we find what she's supposed to do when she can do it all.
Scootaloo: [sighs] And if finding her purpose seems impossible, we can just forget about the whole griffon-getting-a-cutie-mark thing, which is actually impossible. I never should've gotten her hopes up!
Gabby: I did... it... all! So, lay it on me, Crusaders. What's my purpose? And how do we get a mark on these here haunches?
Scootaloo: Gabby, we... we don't.
Gabby: Wait. What are you saying?
Apple Bloom: We're sayin' that since you can do everything so amazingly well...
Sweetie Belle: We just can't figure out what one thing you're supposed to do.
Scootaloo: Gabby, we can't help you.
Gabby: But, but... you're the world-famous Cutie Mark Crusaders! I can't believe it! I... I... I won't believe it!
Apple Bloom: Gabby, wait!
Scootaloo: We're sorry! We're so, so sorry! This is just awful. For the first time ever, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are cutie mark failures.
Scootaloo: I'm sorry, Crusaders. I really thought we could help Gabby.
Sweetie Belle: I thought we could help anypony.
Apple Bloom: Maybe that's just it – maybe we can only help ponies.
Scootaloo: Or maybe we just plain failed.
[door opens]
Gabby: Failed? Then what do you call this?!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: A cutie mark?!
Sweetie Belle: What? You got your mark after all! Even though we couldn't find your purpose? But– What? Huh?! How?!
Apple Bloom: And what does it mean? A cauldron?
Gabby: Uh... I don't know. Maybe it means my purpose is, uh, helping Zecora with potions. That was the first thing I tried. I guess it just took some time to appear. But here it is!
Scootaloo: This is awesome! We're not failures! Whatever we did worked! I had a feeling we could help you, and we did!
Apple Bloom: Oh! We've gotta go see Twilight right away! She'll wanna know about this!
Sweetie Belle: Correction – she needs to know about this! I bet she'll want to write a whole book about the very first griffon to get a cutie mark of her own!
Gabby: Oh, uh, totally! Um, but, you know, Rainbow Dash asked me to pick up her answer to Gilda's letter. I better take care of that before I forget. Heh. Here's an idea. Uh, y-you head to the castle, and I'll meet you there, cutie mark and all! Um... toodles!
[whoosh]
Scootaloo: Wow! Can you believe it? We were able to help her get her mark after all! Come on, Crusaders, let's tell Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Gabby? You just missed her. She was in such a hurry, she didn't even come in. Just dropped this letter and zoomed away!
Scootaloo: [reading] "Dear Crusaders, I'll never forget you. You really are every bit as awesome as I'd heard. I'm heading home to tell all the griffons how you did the impossible by getting me my cutie mark. Toodles."
[books thudding]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait a second. Cutie mark?
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: You actually got a griffon a cutie mark for the first time in recorded history?! You know what this calls for? A full-scale research project!
Sweetie Belle: This makes no sense. Gabby didn't come in and show you her mark?
Twilight Sparkle: You have got to get Gabby back here right away! I have so many questions! Oh, I hope I have enough ink and parchment to document everything! Spike! Guess what just happened!
Apple Bloom: Weird. Gabby didn't show Twilight her mark like she said she was gonna do? Somethin' in this here applesauce smells kinda fishy.
Scootaloo: We'd better find her and find out what's going on. Come on, Crusaders.
Scootaloo: Keep your eyes on the skies, ponies. Gabby can't have gone far.
Apple Bloom: She's not in the air. She's right there! Gabby! Hold up, we're a-comin'!
Gabby: Um... Sorry, no time to chat. I-I just stopped to help this pony get out of the muck, and then I really gotta fly. Okay? Heave-ho! [grunts]
[splat]
Sweetie Belle: Gabby, we're your friends. Why in Equestria are you running away from us?
Gabby: Running away? Oh, I'm not running away. I'm just, uh, e-excited to show my lovely new cutie mark to everyone in Griffonstone!
Apple Bloom: You mean the cutie mark that's runnin' right off your flank?
Gabby: [defeated] Yup... That's the one. I guess the one thing I'm really not good at is faking things.
Scootaloo: Wow, Gabby. Painting on a fake cutie mark to make yourself feel better? You must have been really upset.
Gabby: Sure, I was disappointed. But I didn't do it to make myself feel better. I wanted to make you feel better.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Gabby: I couldn't bear you three thinking you failed after you tried so hard to help. That's why I had to leave before you or Twilight found out the truth. [sighs] I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you. I'll just wing my way back to Griffonstone. Thanks for trying.
Apple Bloom: You don't need to apologize for carin' about how other ponies are feelin'.
Sweetie Belle: I'm just sorry we couldn't come through for you.
Scootaloo: Hmmm... Maybe we can. Gabby, clean up and meet us at the Crusaders' clubhouse!
[door opens]
Gabby: I know you all tried your very best, but I guess griffons and cutie marks just don't mix. Maybe... I don't even have a special purpose.
Scootaloo: Hang on a second. We were racking our brains trying to figure out your destiny, until we remembered how every time you did something new, you tried to help everypony around you.
Sweetie Belle: Even us. How did it feel when you showed up with that fake mark, and the three of us thought we'd actually helped you?
Gabby: Well... I was really glad I helped you feel happier.
Scootaloo: So maybe helping is your thing! You might even say it's your purpose!
Gabby: But helping just feels good. I-It couldn't have anything to do with what I'm supposed to do with my life... right?
Scootaloo: Gabby, finding your special purpose doesn't have to be about being good at something. It's about feeling good about something inside.
Apple Bloom: And it looks like your destiny is a whole lot like ours – helping others. And you don't need a symbol on your flank to know that.
Sweetie Belle: But since we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we made you one anyway. Behold!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Your very own cutie mark! Ta-da!
Scootaloo: We carved it to mark the moment we all figured out what you should do with your life.
Gabby: But they look just like yours. You can't mean...! [gasps]
Scootaloo: You bet we do! You're one of us now! Gabby, today we dub thee...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: The very first griffon member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Woo-hoo!
Sweetie Belle: You may not be able to get a cutie mark...
Apple Bloom: But you're selflessly dedicatin' your life to helpin' others anyhow. I can't think of anything more Crusader-y than that.
Gabby: Awesome! My very own cute-ceañera!
[chatter in background]
Apple Bloom: Oh, land sakes! You sure have earned it.
Sweetie Belle: And so have we! Scootaloo, you're pretty amazing. Even though things looked bleak, you still found a way to help Gabby in the end.
Scootaloo: 'Course! Helping's what we do, right?
Gabby: [laughing] I am so grateful! I'm gonna go home and do my very, very best to bring Cutie Mark Crusader values to Griffonstone! I promise.
Scootaloo: Promise us one other thing, too?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Come back soon!
Scootaloo: After all, you're a Crusader now. Crusaders forever?
Gabby: Crusaders forever!
[credits]

Viva Las Pegasus

Applejack: The map is sendin' us where?!
Fluttershy: Las Pegasus?!
Applejack: But Las Pegasus is a wild vacation spot! It's just one big party!
Fluttershy: All those lights and sounds, not to mention the crowds... Oh, just the thought of it is overwhelming!
Twilight Sparkle: I know Las Pegasus doesn't seem like either of your cups of tea, but I have total faith you wouldn't have been called unless you were the perfect ponies for the job.
Applejack: Probably not as bad as we think. It can't just be a loud, obnoxious party all the time... right?
[pop]
Fluttershy: Uh, Applejack? It isn't as bad as we thought.
[crowds cheering]
Applejack: You're right. It's worse!
[theme song]
Applejack and Fluttershy: [gasp]
[general chatter]
Fluttershy: Do you think the map could be on the fritz again? I mean, this place seems a lot more suited to Pinkie Pie or even Rainbow Dash.
Applejack: If Twilight trusts the map, then so do I. All we have to do is solve our friendship problem and get back home. 'Course, we have to find it first.
Barker: And make sure to experience our signature show, Ponet Fantastique! Trust me when I say you've never seen anything like it! Unparalleled acrobatics! Unique animal antics! Your only regret will be that you didn't see it sooner! And like everything at this amazing, incredible, I-can't-believe-it-even-exists hotel, Ponet Fantastique is brought to you by the chairpony of kindness – Gladmane himself!
[crowd gasping]
Fluttershy: Wow. This Gladmane sure seems impressive.
Gladmane: Well, uh, it is a little embarrassing, but the crowds seem to like it. Uh-huh-huh.
Applejack: Mr. Gladmane?
Gladmane: Just Gladmane'll do. And it's a pleasure to meet actual cohorts of the Princess of Friendship! Thank you for coming. Thank you very much.
Fluttershy: You know who we are?
Gladmane: I'm what you might call a friendship connoisseur, so naturally I'm familiar with the friends of the great Twilight Sparkle! Applejack, Fluttershy, it's an honor to have you here. Uh-huh-huh.
Applejack: I have to admit you're not the type of pony I expected to find in Las Pegasus.
Gladmane: [laughs] Well, my guests may be looking for lights, music, and parties, but working hard and making friends is how I turned this hotel into what it is today, and how I plan to make it even bigger. Uh-huh-huh! Uh, excuse me for a second. [inhales] [through loudspeaker] Wise ponies may say the folks that come here are customers, but I can't help but thinkin' of each and every one of you as friends. That's why there's a three-for-one special on apple fritters in the cafe for the next hour! Enjoy! Uh-huh-huh!
[crowd chattering]
Gladmane: Would you two like to take a tour of the place? I'm just about to do my rounds and check on my friends who work here.
Fluttershy: [hushed] We do have a friendship problem to find.
Applejack: Lead the way, Mr. Gladmane!
Gladmane: Just Gladmane now, you hear?
Trapeze Star: [gasps] Gladmane, you're just in time to see my newest move!
Gladmane: New moves or not, I'm glad to have a star like you working for me, I'll tell you what.
Trapeze Star: Oh, don't make me blush! Now watch this!
Gladmane: Stellar! Uh-huh-huh!
Director: Oh! Oh! Monsieur Gladmane himself is here! Let's run through the whole routine!
Gladmane: Now, don't make a fuss for ol' me. I'm just gonna keep on giving a tour to my new friends Applejack and Fluttershy.
Applejack: Howdy!
Fluttershy: Hi.
Director: If zis pony calls you friend, you're welcome backstage anytime! I owe him my entire career.
Gladmane: Aw, shucks. Well, let's leave the artists to their work.
Applejack: [hushed] Doesn't look like there's any friendship problems here.
Fluttershy: [gasps] I've never seen a pink prairie dog before!
[prairie dog squeaking]
Gladmane: I like the folks that come here to have a unique experience. Uh-huh-huh.
"Roar Horn": Und we love him for it!
"Sprigfield": With Gladmane's help, we've been able to take care of all these little guys!
Fluttershy: Now this place is overwhelming in a good way!
Gladmane: Aw, glad you like it.
Applejack: [clears throat] Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Hmm? Oh, um, coming!
Fluttershy: There doesn't seem to be anything wrong around here at all.
Applejack: I figured lookin' for a friendship problem in Las Pegasus would be like tryin' to find a needle in a stack of needles. But everypony seems to be gettin' along just fine.
Flim: Ladies and gentleponies, despite what my competition might say, I know you've come to this fair city to be entertained, and I assure you there is nothing more entertaining than the astounding acrobatics in Gladmane's Ponet Fantastique!
Flam: Now, I suppose that might be true if it weren't for the existence, and far superiorly entertaining presence, of the show-stopping exotic animal act that Ponet Fantastique includes!
Fluttershy: Those voices sound familiar.
Applejack: They sure do. Flim and Flam.
Flim: Why, I won't even dignify that assertion with a response! Except to say that if you were to consider buying your tickets from me, I might consider offering them to you at a substantial discount!
Flam: But I've always thought you get what you pay for, and in my humble opinion, these tickets are a value at twice the price!
Flim: Don't let this price-gouging charlatan take you for a ride!
Flam: [gasps] Charlatan? How dare you!
Flim: Hah! How dare I?!
Flam: [simultaneous] Yes, how dare you! I was the one that...
Flim: [simultaneous] I call 'em likes I see them, dear brother of mine!
Flam: [simultaneous, background] I'm two minutes older than you – don't you forget that, brother of mine!
Flim: [simultaneous, background] I'm sick and tired of this...
Flim and Flam: [further unintelligible arguing]
Fluttershy: They certainly don't seem to be getting along. [gasps] You don't suppose we've been brought here to help them?
Applejack: Absolutely not!
Flim and Flam: [arguing]
Fluttershy: I know you and the rest of the Apple family have had your issues with Flim and Flam in the past, but they're definitely having trouble, and solving a friendship problem is important, no matter who's having it.
Applejack: Well, of course that's true... for anypony but them!
Gladmane: I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't know why, but those two have been fightin' ever since they got here. I thought giving them these jobs might help, but I... I guess it just made matters worse.
Applejack: Trust me. I know those ponies, and you're better off with them apart. The two of them together will cheat the hooves right out from under you!
Gladmane: Yeah, I suppose you're right. Flim's such a showpony, and Flam has such a head for business. Why, if they ever did work together, they'd be running this place in two shakes! Ah, speaking of which, I'd better get back to work. Y'all enjoy your stay now, you hear?
Fluttershy: I'm pretty sure we should help Flim and Flam...
Applejack: And I'm pretty sure there's another friendship problem here, and I'm gonna search this resort top to bottom 'til I find it!
Fluttershy: [sighs]
Flim: I hope you didn't travel all the way from Ponyville to try to get me to reconcile with my no-account brother.
Flam: Brother? I don't believe I have one of those.
Flim: No! I already know what he thinks of me! All show and no substance! Well, if he's so smart, he should have no trouble becoming a big success on his own!
Flam: "Ooh, why, he's the greatest salespony that ever lived, of course!" Just ask him. He'll tell you all about it.
Fluttershy: I'm sure you could work out your differences if you just sat down and talked to each other.
Flim and Flam: I'm never speaking to that pony again!
Fluttershy: [sighs]
[general casino chatter and noises]
Director: [muffled] No! [normal] You are ruining my show!
Trapeze Star: It isn't just your show, and I'm improving it.
Director: You don't pull a rabbit out of a hat on the trapeze!
Trapeze Star: That's the point – to give the audience something they've never seen before! Acrobatic magic!
[twirling]
Bernard Rabbit: Ta-da!
Trapeze Star: It's called "blending genres", and it's awesome!
Applejack: Shouldn't somepony do somethin'?
"Back Stage": Hah. They've been doing this since they started working here. Too bad, really. If they ever stopped shouting at each other, we could take the show on tour. They'd be way more successful than staying at Gladmane's.
Applejack: Heh-heh. Now that sounds like a real friendship problem!
"Roar Horn": Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!
"Sprigfield": Stop! What are you doing?! It's supposed to be a pink prairie dog pyramid! It's alliterative!
"Roar Horn": Wha— You said a tower! Why do you keep changing everything?
[prairie dogs squeaking]
"Sprigfield": I'm not changing anything! You said pyramid!
"Roar Horn": [shrieks] You are driving me crazy!
Applejack: I thought you two got along.
"Sprigfield": We used to, but we just can't seem to agree on anything anymore. We used to perform all over Equestria, but if we can't agree on a new act, we might as well stay at Gladmane's forever. [stomping]
Applejack: Two friendship problems in the same theater? Now we're talkin'!
Fluttershy: If you count Flim and Flam, that's three big friendship problems all in the same place!
Applejack: Well, I don't count Flim and Flam since those two not bein' friends isn't a problem.
Fluttershy: It certainly isn't for Gladmane. Sounds like he's better off with them fighting.
Applejack: Actually, the other ponies' problems seemed to be good for Gladmane too. Both the trapeze show and the animal act would be better off if they left, but everypony's so busy arguin' that they can't.
Fluttershy: Do you think he knows?
Applejack: I don't know, but I'm startin' to think we should find out.
Trapeze Star: Of course Gladmane wants everypony to get along. He's the nicest, most genuine pony I've ever met. Did the director put you up to this?
Bernard Rabbit: [unintelligible whispering]
Director: I tell you, if Gladmane is your friend, you are welcome backstage. But if you are speaking of him poorly, you leave!
"Roar Horn": Gladmane is the kindest, most gentle...
"Sprigfield": ...most compassionate pony I've ever known!
"Roar Horn" and "Sprigfield": My problem... is with him!
[prairie dogs squeaking]
Applejack: I just can't figure it! The only pony who benefits from all this feudin' is Gladmane, but by all accounts, he's the best friend any of these ponies have!
Fluttershy: Well, Bernard – that adorable bunny from the acrobat's act – claims that every morning, Gladmane tells the director that the star wants control of the show, and every afternoon tells the star that the director wants to get rid of her! But neither is true!
Applejack: [snorts]
Fluttershy: And the Flying Prairinos – the pink prairie dog family – say Gladmane keeps changing their act to make each trainer think the other is doing it!
Applejack: So all his talk about friendship is just a load of applesauce! He's gettin' them all to fight with each other on purpose!
Fluttershy: But how can we get everypony to believe that's what he's doing?
Applejack: There must be a way to trick him into telling the truth!
Fluttershy: Gee, if only there was a pony who knew how to trick a trickster.
Flim and Flam: [unintelligible arguing]
Fluttershy: Or maybe a pair of ponies?
Applejack: [sighs] Fine. Guess bringin' Flim and Flam back together might be why we're here. Maybe.
Flim: Sorry if I don't take the word of somepony off the street, even if that street is in Ponyville.
Fluttershy: But Gladmane is behind so many other friendship problems. How can you be sure he isn't the cause of yours?
Flam: Because the only problem I have is standing right there.
Flim: Same here, buster!
Applejack: Do either of you even know what you're fightin' over?
Flim: Gladmane let me know that ex-brother of mine thinks I'm just a mouthpiece without a single good idea!
Flam: Gladmane assured me this former fraternal foal here thinks I couldn't sell heat lamps to yaks!
Applejack: Sounds to me like neither of you said those things. Why'd you believe Gladmane when he said you did?
Flim: Why would he lie?
Fluttershy: Because he's afraid that the two of you together could move in and take over his resort.
Applejack: And if I'm tellin' you he said it, you know it's the absolute truth because—
Flim and Flam: You never lie!
Flam: Oh, brother of mine, I think it's time for a little payback!
Flim: The Canterlot Two-Step?
Flam: Mmm, we don't have the chickens. How about the Baltimare Flair?
Flim: Ah, my flair isn't what it used to be.
Gladmane: [over loudspeaker] Listen here, y'all! If you're a friend of mine, you're entitled to a free night's stay, and everypony is a friend of mine! Thank you. Thank you very much.
Flim: Are you thinking what I am?
Flam: The High Roller Hustle!
Applejack: The what now?
Flam: Trust us. When we're done, there won't be a pony in town who doesn't know the Applejack-iest truth about Gladmane! That is, assuming you two are willing to help.
Flim: What size gown do you wear?
[crowd chattering and cameras clicking]
Gladmane: Wh-What's all the fuss, now?
Flim: It's the grand matriarch of the Rich family, Impossibly Rich! She's one of the wealthiest ponies in Equestria.
Gladmane: Well, why didn't somepony tell me? You know how I like to give VIP guests my personal touch.
Flim: Well, she's not exactly a guest. Word is she's planning a resort of her own. [hushed] I think she's here to scout the competition.
Gladmane: [hushed] Oh, really?
Flim: And with her bits, she could take over the whole strip, hire away anypony she wants!
Gladmane: [growling]
Flim: Uh, not me, of course! I love it here. My good-for-nothing brother, on the other hoof...
Gladmane: [snorts] Impossibly Rich, what an honor it is to have you at my humble five-hoof resort. I'm sure Flam has done an excellent job showing you around, but nothing could beat a personalized tour from the mane himself. Uh-huh-huh.
Fluttershy: [unintelligible whispering]
Flam: You'll have to excuse Ms. Rich. She saves the energy other ponies spend talking out loud and uses it to make more money.
Fluttershy: [unintelligible whispering]
Flam: She'd love a personal tour! Say, in, uh, about an hour?
Gladmane: Well, that sounds right pleasant. And if you can break away for a moment, Flam, I'd love to see you in my office so I can get ready.
[curtain rustling]
Fluttershy: Are all of you sure this is a good idea?
Flim: Abso-tively!
Flam: Gladmane is one fish that's hooked but good!
Applejack: I sure hope you two know what you're doin'.
Flam: Oho, don't you worry. When it comes to throwing ponies off their game...
Flim: No two ponies do it better than us!
Applejack: Can't argue with that.
[door opens]
Flam: Hey there, boss, Impossibly Rich is just about ready for that tour. So what did you want to see me about?
Gladmane: Actually, there's something I want you to see – the Grand Plan. Every hotel on this strip as amazing as this one, and every one of 'em mine.
Flam: [whistles]
Gladmane: And all it'll take is a little salesponyship, like this.
[click]
Gladmane: [over loudspeaker] Hey there, friends. Uh-huh-huh. If you think my resort is fantastic, wait 'til you see Ponet Fantastique! Tickets are on sale now. Two for the price of one! Thank you. Thank you very much.
[click]
Gladmane: Now I know Impossibly Rich has probably made you a tempting offer to come work for her.
Flam: Well uh, now that you mention it...
Gladmane: And as your friend, I'd never tell you what to do. But nopony's gonna stand in the way of my plans, no matter how rich she is! And I sure wouldn't want you to end up on the losing side. Think you might consider staying here?
Flam: Um...
Gladmane: Well all right then.
Applejack: They're comin'!
Gladmane: And last but not least, Ms. Rich, the jewel in my crown.
Fluttershy: [unintelligible whispering]
Flam: Impossibly wants you to know she's very impressed but doesn't think you can keep a resort of this caliber going for long.
Gladmane: Oh? And why's that?
Fluttershy: [unintelligible whispering]
Flam: Because you've got the best talents in the industry. What stops them from just leaving to join any competitor?
Gladmane: [laughs] Well, you see I have a trick for that, I must confess. Uh-huh-huh. And it all has to do [also over loudspeaker] with how I handle my employees.
Flam: And how is that?
Gladmane: [also over loudspeaker] Well, like friends, of course! And I treat every one of my employees with the kindness they deserve.
Flam: [stammering] That's it? That's your secret, heh-heh? There's... [clears throat] ...nothing else?
Gladmane: Nope, just friendship. But you know all about friendship, don't you... Fluttershy?!
Flim: You knew the whole time?
Gladmane: Never try to con a con-pony. Uh-huh-huh. [laughs] Yeah!
[bits jingling]
[door opens]
Gladmane: I'd have thought you'd have hit the road by now.
Fluttershy: Whether we were able to fool you or not, you can't just go on keeping ponies from getting along! It's just... mean!
Gladmane: Now, maybe it is. But it's a meanness that works. Unlike your pathetic little ploy. I practically invented the "High Roller Hustle". But I suppose I should be impressed. You're the only ponies to ever figure out the secret to my success. Takes a lot of work keepin' everypony fightin'. But as long as I keep 'em convinced that I'm their only friend, all of Las Pegasus will be mine. Oh, you can't trick a confession out of a pony like me! I'm always one step ahead.
Applejack: Well, you better check your hooves, because you've just stepped in a confession!
Gladmane: Oh, no. No, no, w-w-wait, wait!
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] Did that sound okay?
Flim and Flam: Never better!
Applejack: [over loudspeaker] Flim and Flam told us you'd see right through the fake rich pony bit, and that once you did, you wouldn't be able to resist gloatin' about it! This was all part of the plan!
Gladmane: Oh, now, now, friends! Listen, I-I can explain everything!
Director: I think you've done enough of that! Darling?
Trapeze Star: Hmph!
"Roar Horn": Oh, I cannot believe we let him almost ruin our friendship!
"Sprigfield": And our act. Good luck finding another one!
Gladmane: Wait! No! Y'all come back! Come on, I-I'm gonna be ruined! This is Gladmane's, y'all! Come on, you can't do this to... [wailing trails off]
Applejack: Gladmane has left the buildin'!
[crunching, crash]
Fluttershy: I guess the map wasn't on the fritz after all.
[cutie marks ringing]
Fluttershy: If it weren't for your history with Flim and Flam, you never would've been so determined to find somepony else to help, and we never would have found out what Gladmane was doing.
Applejack: And if it weren't for you wantin' to show even those two con-ponies kindness, we never would have been able to trick the trickster. [to Flim and Flam] Must've felt pretty nice to finally put all your connivin' and cheatin' skills to good use.
Flam: In fact, we might think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Flim: Emphasis on "once".
Fluttershy: [suspiciously] What do you mean?
Flam: [over loudspeaker] While this establishment undergoes a slight change in management, my brother and I want to assure you that it remains the pinnacle of Las Pegasus entertainment! Which is why we invite each and every one of you to experience the wonder of the Ponet Fantastique Theater – at half the normal cost of admission!
Flim: [over loudspeaker] And while you're appreciating this historic venue totally devoid of any performers of any kind, we invite you to use the wonder of your own imaginations to fill the space at no additional charge!
[crowd excited chattering]
Applejack: Flim and Flam!
[credits]

Every Little Thing She Does

[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: [yawns]
Twilight Sparkle: [yawns] I've prepared a full day of spells. You've been doing great, but now it's time for a real challenge!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh-ho-ho! It is on! Where do we begin?
Twilight Sparkle: Teleportation! Multiple locations! Try to keep up!
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Transfiguration!
[zap]
[chick chirping]
[zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: [blows]
Twilight Sparkle: Shields!
[zaps]
[explosion]
Starlight Glimmer: Whoo! I am on fire! What's next?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe there is such a thing as too much studying.
[crash]
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: As you know, speed spells like Accelero are not easy. But if done correctly, they can allow you to be much more efficient with your day.
[whooshing]
Spike: Way to go, Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: [laughing] I'm not finished. I've discovered a very old spell, Similo Duplexis, when combined with Accelero in just the right way... [doubled up] ...you can literally be in two places at once! [normal] [sighs] Now I'm finished.
Twilight Sparkle: I have to admit, your skills with magic really are nothing short of amazing. I'm very impressed.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughing] I've always been something of a natural.
Twilight Sparkle: However, it doesn't look like you've tackled any friendship lessons since you met Trixie.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you sure? I could've sworn there were a couple in there somewhere...
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure.
Starlight Glimmer: I see... Well, I'm really quite busy this week. So many commitments. I'll try and find some time in my—
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: No time like the present! Spike and I are headed to Canterlot. Princess Celestia wanted me to give her students a quick overview on the history of enchanted objects in Equestria. We'll be back after the presentation, which should be...
Spike: Twenty moons from now?
Twilight Sparkle: Tonight. It's a quick presentation.
Spike: [to himself] Sure, keep telling yourself that...
Twilight Sparkle: You can tackle a friendship lesson today, and we can review your progress when I get back later this evening.
Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Of course! No problem! Friendship lesson... On it...
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Can't wait. Now, Spike, help me color-code these cards according to time, place, and object.
Spike: [sighs]
[knocking]
[clicking]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Huh? Huh! [humming and muttering to self] Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Spike: Hey! Twilight and I are about to head to Canterlot. Just checking to see if you need anything before we left.
Starlight Glimmer: Nope, not at all! I'm good here. Oh, not good – great! Not a problem in the world! Heh.
Spike: [disbelieving] Uh-huh. So... what are you doing, exactly?
Starlight Glimmer: I... was... just trying to decide which friendship lesson I was going to tackle while you two were in Canterlot. Bap-ba-du... Oh, yep, right here, where I just left them a second ago.
Spike: [blows] [reading] "Bake a cake with Pinkie Pie," "scrapbook with Applejack," "sew with Rarity..."
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Spike: "Help an animal with Fluttershy," "chillax with Rainbow Dash?" What is chillaxing?
Starlight Glimmer: No idea.
Spike: You know, uh, if you're nervous about your friendship lessons, it's totally okay to say so.
Starlight Glimmer: Nervous, me? [fake laughter] Oh, Spike, you really are hilarious, ha-ha. You think I'm nervous that I'm gonna fail something as simple as baking a cake?
Spike: Well, if you were, it'd be—
Starlight Glimmer: Silly! Twilight just said how impressed she was that I combined a speed spell and a duplication spell. That was a challenge. These? Pfft, hah! I could combine all five of these at the same time without breaking a sweat.
Spike: I think maybe you're missing—
Starlight Glimmer: An opportunity to really impress Twilight? [gasps] Great idea, Spike! I'm gonna get right on that! Good talk.
Spike: And I thought Twilight was the master of the freak-out.
Starlight Glimmer: So, with your help, I figure these should be done in no time.
Applejack: Are you sure this is what Twilight would want? Seems like you might want to take your time with each of these.
Starlight Glimmer: But by working as a team, we can get them done faster. And isn't teamwork a key factor in friendship?
Applejack: I... guess.
Starlight Glimmer: Super! Pinkie Pie, since we're baking, you will be in the kitchen.
Pinkie Pie: [inhales]
Starlight Glimmer: Rarity, Applejack, you two can set up in the library.
Rarity: Oh, I don't know that a dusty old library has the proper lighting. Perhaps we can stay out here in the foyer.
Starlight Glimmer: I thought that Fluttershy and I could work with the animals right here in the foyer.
Fluttershy: Oh, um, whatever you think is best.
Starlight Glimmer: Great. Now, Rainbow Dash—
Fluttershy: It might depend on the animal. For instance, this poor little eagle with a sprained wing might be better off up in one of the towers.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Fluttershy: And these adorable little chipmunks might prefer a nook somewhere. Maybe if you spend some time getting to know—
Starlight Glimmer: In a minute, Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I don't know if we can chillax properly in the castle. We need very specific conditions for optimal chillaxing.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I just assumed chillaxing could happen anywhere.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Shows what you know about chillaxing. Let me do some location scouting.
[whoosh]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay... It seemed more efficient to start with the scrapbooking, so we can just get it out of the—
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! Can we start with me? We're gonna need time for the cake to bake! After all...
It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake—
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, we're on a schedule, no time for a song. We can start with baking, then—
Rarity: But we can't design dresses after you've been baking with Pinkie. [hushed] She can be a bit messy.
[squidge]
Pinkie Pie: Mmm!
Starlight Glimmer: Fine. We can start with the dresses, and then—
Applejack: While y'all figure that out, I'm gonna start layin' out the pictures for scrapbookin'. We got a whole lot of time to cover.
Starlight Glimmer: How much is a whole lot?
Applejack: We've got at least eighty moons worth of memories to go through.
Starlight Glimmer: Eighty moons?!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. There is nowhere to chillax in this castle! We're gonna have to set up somewhere else.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie: [overlapped argument]
Starlight Glimmer: Could you all excuse me for... one... second?
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Wow. That pony really needs to chillax.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [hyperventilating] Okay, Starlight. You've got this. A handful of friendship lessons is nothing compared to the spells you've mastered. [nervous laugh] Maybe if I cast a little spell to help things along... Something simple and safe. Fiducia Compelus... That's not bad. They would barely notice it, but... is it enough? Oh... Maybe Cogeria so they're more... open to suggestion. Oh, or maybe Cogeria combined with Fiducia Compelus! Yes, that could work nicely! Oh, with a hint of Persuadere to be sure it sticks.
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Everypony'll probably thank me for getting it all done so quickly. And Twilight will be thrilled I've completed so many lessons. Everypony wins!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Congratulations, Starlight. You're a genius. [gasps] Maybe the congratulations were a little premature...
Starlight Glimmer: Cogeria... Persuadere... Fiducia... Hmm. Ah! Of course! Fiducia Compelus needs a trigger. [amplified] Ponies! Hear my voice and listen!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Pinkie, kitchen. Rarity, Applejack, library. Fluttershy, stay here. Rainbow Dash, find somewhere inside the castle and set up a place where we can chillax.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie: [overlapped agreement]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Let's get to work, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] Okie-dokie! What would you like to do first?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, what are we supposed to do first?
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] Whatever you want to do first, Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight Glimmer: [reading] In a medium-size mixing bowl, beat together eggs, sugar, and two teaspoons of vanilla... [beat] mix in flour... [beat] [quickly] add baking soda, salt and cinnamon! Hmm. I think you can take it from here.
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] Take what from where?
Starlight Glimmer: The baking. Just keep following the instructions in the book until I get back.
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] Abso-tively! Instruction following starting... now!
Starlight Glimmer: Baking a cake – check! Now on to sewing!
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: What did you have in mind, Rarity?
Rarity: [mechanically] Whatever you want me to have in my mind, Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight Glimmer: Can you make a dress exactly like that one?
Rarity: [mechanically] Just like this one?
Starlight Glimmer: Just like it.
Rarity: [mechanically] Absolutely. It will look perfectly divine.
Starlight Glimmer: That's a whole lot of photos. How do you usually organize them?
Applejack: [mechanically] However you want me to organize them, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Okay. Tell me about this one.
Applejack: [mechanically] Sweet Apple Acres, twenty moons ago. Granny Smith was lookin' for her favorite pie tin. She looked in the kitchen, but it wasn't there. She looked in the barn, but it wasn't there.
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh. I don't need every little detail. Heh. Just sum up the story in one sentence.
Applejack: [mechanically] Huh. Turns out Granny Smith didn't know how to make a pig do the backstroke.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh-huh... Why don't you keep putting these photos in chronological order, and when I come back, you can give me more... highlights?
Applejack: [mechanically] Sure thing, Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight Glimmer: Fluttershy, where are all the animals?
Fluttershy: [mechanically] They ran away.
Starlight Glimmer: And why didn't you stop them?
Fluttershy: [mechanically] Because you didn't ask me to.
Starlight Glimmer: Obviously I wanted you to... Never mind. Can you please round up all the animals in the castle and bring them back here to the foyer?
Fluttershy: [mechanically] All the animals. Got it.
Starlight Glimmer: Did you find a place to chillax, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: [mechanically] Sure thing, Starlight Glimmer!
Starlight Glimmer: Great. Let me know when it's ready.
Rainbow Dash: [mechanically] Yes, Starlight Glimmer.
Applejack: [mechanically] Granny Smith knew she was gonna need a bigger boat, so Goldie Delicious says, "If you can't say anythin' nice about anypony, come sit by me!" Big Mac knew if he just covered himself in mud, the creature wouldn't be able to see him!
Rarity: [mechanically] Starlight Glimmer. I have finished the dress. Isn't it gorgeous?
Starlight Glimmer: What is that?
Rarity: [mechanically] You wanted me to make a dress exactly like the one in the book.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Go make a real dress out of fabric, exactly like the one in the book.
Rarity: [mechanically] Ah. I see. Yes, of course, Starlight Glimmer.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Rarity! Make it bigger than the one in the book.
Rarity: [mechanically] Of course, darling. Bigger it is.
[mouse squeaks]
Applejack: [mechanically] She was just a pony standin' in front of another pony askin' him to love her.
[door opens]
[crash]
Starlight Glimmer: Pinkie, what are you doing?!
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] Following all of the instructions in the cookbook in order, Starlight Glimmer!
Starlight Glimmer: I meant just the one cake! I was only gone a few minutes! How in Equestria did you get all of this done so fast?
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] First, I combined three eggs, then I— [muffled noises]
Starlight Glimmer: Think the baking lesson is done.
Harry: [growling]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, what now?
[oven crackling]
Applejack: [mechanically] They can take our farm, but they can't take our freedom!
Starlight Glimmer: What's going on?!
Harry: [growls]
Fluttershy: [mechanically] I gathered all of the animals like you asked, Starlight Glimmer.
[thud]
Rarity: [mechanically] Oh, yes, this will do nicely.
[thud]
Rarity: [mechanically] A much bigger dress!
Applejack: [mechanically, muffled] It was the best of apples, it was the worst of apples...
Starlight Glimmer: [exhales] I can handle this. It's just magic, and I know magic. What's that?!
Pinkie Pie: [muffled noises]
Starlight Glimmer: What did you say?
Pinkie Pie: [mechanically] The cakes are burning. You left the ovens on.
Starlight Glimmer: We need water!
Rainbow Dash: [mechanically] Yes, Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight Glimmer: Storm clouds?!
[thunder rolling]
Harry: [confused noise]
[splashing]
Applejack: [mechanically] Big Mac told me, "With a whole lot of power comes a heck of a lot of responsibility."
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] This can't get any worse!
Twilight Sparkle: What is going on?!
[spider squeaks]
[brushing]
Spike: I had no idea we had spiders in the castle! I'm never sleeping again!
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe if I had reversed the Fiducia Compelus and Cogeria... Or maybe I added too much Persuadere... What?
Spike: You're really missing the point here.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I finally untangled that mess of a spell and got everypony home. It was really powerful stuff. They're gonna feel that in the morning. Now please try to explain to me how in the name of Celestia things got this out of control.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, it was the first time I cast that particular spell, and I didn't fully think it through. I-I bet if I had reversed—
Twilight Sparkle: I think you might be missing the point here.
Spike: Told ya.
Twilight Sparkle: What made you think that casting a spell on your friends to do your bidding was even remotely a good idea?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, when you put it that way, it sounds really bad.
Twilight Sparkle: That's because it is really bad!
Starlight Glimmer: [stammering]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I'm not mad at you, but I am disappointed. You've been doing so well. I just don't understand how a friendship lesson turned into all of this.
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh, fine! I've been avoiding the friendship lessons on purpose.
Twilight Sparkle: Why?
Starlight Glimmer: I can cast complex spells, but baking a cake with Pinkie Pie freaks me out! And yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds. That's why I didn't say anything. I thought if I just kept wowing you with my magical abilities, you might just... not... notice?
Twilight Sparkle: Baking a cake freaks you out?
Starlight Glimmer: Yes! Baking a cake, sewing – all of it! What if I was bad at it? I didn't want to be a disappointment to anypony, and I ended up being a disappointment to everypony.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, do you think anypony cares if you can bake a cake?
Starlight Glimmer: But the lesson—
Twilight Sparkle: Was to get to know Pinkie Pie better by doing something she loves. It was a friendship lesson, not a baking lesson.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. You know, I think I might have missed the point here.
Spike: Told ya.
Starlight Glimmer: So now what?
Twilight Sparkle: Now it's time for a pretty advanced friendship lesson. It's called apologizing.
Applejack: [groaning] I don't know what kind of whammy Starlight put on us, but I feel like I got shoved through the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, tell me about it.
Rarity: [hushed] If everypony could speak in a whisper for the next few days, that would be delightful. My head is thumping...!
Fluttershy: [tired] I was up all night calming the animals down.
Rarity: [hushed] Fluttershy, please! Not so loud...
Pinkie Pie: Starlight's spell made me burn perfectly good cake! I never burn cake!
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, about that... Things got a little out of hand last night.
Applejack: Well, ain't that the understatement of the day.
Pinkie Pie: Hmph! Tell it to the cake, sister!
Rarity: [hushed] Can we all please argue at a lower volume?
Starlight Glimmer: I really messed up. I cast the spell because I was nervous about working with you on the friendship lessons.
Rainbow Dash: Well, here's a friendship lesson for ya — don't cast spells on your friends!
Starlight Glimmer: Believe me, I know. What I did was wrong, a-and I can't take it back. You're right to be upset, and I hope one day I can make it up to you. But all I can say is... I'm sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go clean the castle covered in wet cake batter and spiders.
Rainbow Dash: That was a pretty good apology.
Fluttershy: Seems like she feels pretty bad.
Applejack: Hey, Starlight! Most of the Apple family photos are still layin' around in the wreckage. I think I'll come along and hunt 'em down.
Fluttershy: Oh, and I feel awful for disturbing all of those cute little spiders and bats. I should check on them.
Rarity: Ah, yes, and I left some lovely fabric out. I should come and move it to that nice quiet library.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I'll come and get those storm clouds out of the bathroom.
Pinkie Pie: Fine! Somepony has to bake a cake to honor all the poor cakes that sacrificed their batter in last night's tragedy!
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: It seems your apology went well.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm just lucky to have such understanding friends, but it's probably going to be a while before I try to tackle those friendship lessons again.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean? You've been doing them all day.
Starlight Glimmer: What are you talking about? I've been cleaning up the mess I made by totally failing at friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: Really? But didn't I see you sewing with Rarity?
Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—
Twilight Sparkle: And you and Applejack did a great job collecting those photos and putting them in the book. Helping animals with Fluttershy, baking with Pinkie Pie – those sound like your assignments to me. In fact, I think there's just one that you're missing.
Starlight Glimmer: Sun – check. Chairs – check. And thanks to a simple Catadupa Levitata spell, we've got water. Is that everything we need to chillax?
Rainbow Dash: Nope.
Starlight Glimmer: No? What did I miss?
Rainbow Dash: Quiet.
Starlight Glimmer: Ah! Right.
Twilight Sparkle: Great job, Starlight. Looks like you've completed another friendship lesson. [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Hey! She completes the lesson when I say she completes it. So less learning and more chillaxing!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: So... How long do we sit quietly?
Main cast: [laughing]
[credits]

P.P.O.V. (Pony Point of View)

[birds chirping]
Spike: [panting] Twilight, can you slow down a bit? [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Spike. It's just Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack are getting back from their Seaward Shoals boat trip, and I can't wait to hear all about it! It's such a shame Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had to miss it for their Cloudsdale flight school reunion. Maybe the rest of us not going was for the best anyway. I know the three of them were really looking forward to getting out of their element.
Spike: Getting out of their element?
Twilight Sparkle: I think they all just wanted to try something new.
Spike: Huh. I guess a boat trip qualifies as that.
Twilight Sparkle: My only worry is that they'll be so excited, they'll talk over each other, and I'll miss some of the details! Just to be safe, I may need you to take notes.
[train chuffing]
Spike: Uh... right.
[train brakes hiss]
Twilight Sparkle: So how was the trip?
Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
Spike: Well, at least you don't have to worry about them talking over each other.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what happened on that boat trip. But once Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie have some tea and talk it out, I'm sure everypony will feel better.
[splash]
Spike: [snap]
[knocking]
Twilight Sparkle: Come on in, everypony! Gummy, Opalescence, and Winona? This is a surprise!
Spike: Aren't Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack with you?
Opalescence: [purring]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Sorry, darling, but I must decline the invitation to your soiree. While I'm sure it will be positively resplendent, there are certain ponies I'd rather not associate with at the moment. Rarity."
Spike: Rarity's not coming? Awww. So I polished my scales for nothing.
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Sorry I can't make it, but I'm still a mite upset about everything that happened on the boat. Applejack." "Sorry I can't make the tea party today, but there's a small problem with the guest list. Plus, I'm right in the middle of a very important cupcake. Pinkie." Come on, Spike! Since our friends won't come here and tell us what happened, we'll just have to go to them!
Spike: Right behind you! [stuffing his mouth]
[brushing]
Rarity: [gasps]
[crab snapping]
Rarity: I'm sorry, but my mane wasn't made to support marine life! Ruined, completely ruined.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Rarity. Maybe you could—
Rarity: Throw it away? Yes, I agree. Just another innocent casualty of that disastrous boat trip.
Twilight Sparkle: About that. Spike and I were wondering what happened out there.
Rarity: Please, darling. I don't know if I'll ever be able to discuss it. It's far too painful! [gasps dramatically]
Spike: If it's too difficult to talk about, we completely understand.
Rarity: Well, since you dragged it out of me... It all started at the docks. I knew Applejack and Pinkie Pie wanted to get out of their element, so I thought I would surprise them with an elegant cruise.
Rarity: [narrating] I had brought a small bag with just a few key essentials. [in-world] All right, ponies! Prepare yourselves for luxury on the high seas!
Pinkie Pie: That sounds... fun?
Applejack: [sea dog accent] The sea air carries a portent for trouble this day. 'Tis a treacherous and perilous journey that lies ahead of us! We sail to adventure... or our very doom.
Rarity: I... have no idea what you just said, but your wardrobe is delightfully seaworthy.
Rarity: [narrating] Despite Applejack's colorful seafarer attitude, I was still determined to get my friends out of their element by providing them with all the refinements of a luxury cruise. I made sure to bring the most delectable nibbles for them to enjoy.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, I brought food too!
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Let's see, I've got cotton candy, taffy, circus peanuts, and lots of other super-yummy stuff!
Rarity: Oh, Pinkie Pie, that all looks positively delectable. But you simply must try one of these cucumber sandwiches. Dig in!
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Applejack: [sea dog accent] Arrr! Get those off me ship!
[splash]
[bubbling]
Rarity: Oh! I'm so sorry! I had no idea you had such distaste for cucumbers!
Applejack: [sea dog accent] Yar-har-har-har, hardy-har-har-har!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... That doesn't sound like Applejack.
Spike: Huh.
Rarity: Well, hold on, because it gets even worse. Pinkie tried to lighten the mood with some fun maritime games.
Pinkie Pie: It's piñata o'clock! Wanna give it a whack, Rarity?
Rarity: Oh, darling, of course!
[lightning cracks]
Applejack: [laughs in sea dog accent] I'll be chartin' a course to the very heart of that maelstrom!
Rarity: Ahem. Er, Applejack? Just a thought, but maybe we should steer the ship toward calmer waters.
Applejack: [sea dog accent] This be the only way to Plunder Cove!
[lightning cracks]
[water rushing]
Rarity: Perhaps if I took a quick look-see at that map of yours, I could find us a more cruise-friendly path—
Applejack: [sea dog accent] Yah! There'll be no mutiny aboard me ship!
Pinkie Pie: Look at me! I'm the captain too!
Rarity: [narrating] Clearly, Pinkie Pie had caught Applejack's sea madness.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: [arguing]
[splash]
Applejack: [sea dog accent] Is that all you've got?! [laughs]
[splash]
Spike: Then what happened?!
Rarity: Oh, the boat sank. Obviously. [blows]
Twilight Sparkle: So Applejack got some sort of sea madness and caused the boat to capsize?
Rarity: After all the effort I put in to provide her and Pinkie with the exact luxury cruise they needed to get out of their elements, that is how Applejack thanked me!
Spike: So you were stuck out in the middle of the ocean? How in Equestria did you get back?
Rarity: [sighs] Spike, darling, you'll have to forgive me. I am far too emotionally drained to discuss the matter any further!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, I don't suppose there's any chance you might be... uh, exaggerating things? Just a little?
Rarity: Well! I can assure you that that is exactly what happened! But if you don't believe me, you can ask Pinkie Pie. I'm quite certain her story will be the same.
Pinkie Pie: So that's what Rarity said happened on the boat, huh?
[slam]
Twilight Sparkle: We thought there was a chance she might have... [clears throat] embellished the story just a tad. So we wanted to hear about what happened from you! Did Applejack really capsize the boat?
Pinkie Pie: Of course not! Pfft, that's just silly! There's no way Applejack could've sank the boat!
Twilight Sparkle: I knew it!
Spike: That's a relief.
Pinkie Pie: Because Rarity did!
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: What?!
Pinkie Pie: It all started on the docks. I knew Rarity and Applejack wanted to get out of their element, so I figured I'd throw them the funnest, silliest boat party ever! But I guess Rarity had other ideas.
Pinkie Pie: [narrating] I thought I overpacked until I saw Rarity and her team of porter-ponies!
Rarity: Prepare yourselves for a luxury cruise! A day of opulence, decadence, and extravagance!
Pinkie Pie: [deadpan] That sounds fun.
Applejack: Ahoy, mateys! Batten down the hatches, y'all, 'cause this here's gonna be a boat ride of adventure!
Pinkie Pie: Eh, I can live with that.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Huh. They just keep coming.
Pinkie Pie: [narrating] Now, you can't throw a silly boat party without snacks. So I made sure to pack the funnest party food I could find! [in-world] Rarity, would you care for some cotton candy? It's freshly spun!
Rarity: Oh, Pinkie Pie, those all look simply... well, simple. But they're obviously unfit for a luxury cruise. Now, my cucumber sandwiches, on the other hoof... Try one, then you'll understand.
Pinkie Pie: [chewing]
Applejack: Ooh, are those chocolate chip?
[splash]
[bubbling]
Rarity: Sorry! Cucumber sandwiches are so ten seconds ago.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, wait, wait. That doesn't sound like Rarity.
Pinkie Pie: Just wait until you hear how much more unlike her she sounds!
Spike: [chewing]
Pinkie Pie: I thought I'd lighten the mood with some super-fun party boat games. But Rarity was a real wet blanket.
Pinkie Pie: It's piñata time! Ooh! Wanna give it a whack, Rarity?
Rarity: [exaggerated posh laugh] ...Oh. You were serious. Well, that's adorable.
Applejack: I'll give it a go!
Pinkie Pie: That's the spirit! Let's get this boat party started!
[spinning]
Applejack: Whoooooa! Heh-heh! Whoa, doggie!
[lightning cracks]
[splashing]
Applejack and Rarity: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Tug of war? Now we're talking! Whoever wins gets to be captain!
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Or... one of us should just be captain now?
[wheel rattling]
[thud]
Rarity: Oh, don't worry, dear. Luxury cruises never sink.
Pinkie Pie: What?!
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: And that's why the boat sinking was all Rarity's fault.
Twilight Sparkle: That seems... odd. I mean, we trust you, of course. But it's all so... extraordinary?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, it's "extraordinary", all right. But that's exactly what happened! In fact, the only thing I might've gotten wrong was that there were even more porter ponies! But just to be safe, you should talk to Applejack. She'll know exactly how many porter ponies there were!
Spike: Okay, but if the boat sank, how did you all get rescued?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that's easy. We just— [sniffs] My muffins!
Spike: [fed up] That's it. We've gotta go talk to Applejack.
Twilight Sparkle: Good idea. She'll straighten this out.
Spike: I just really, really wanna know how they made it back! But yeah, that'd be great too.
[thwack]
[apples falling]
Applejack: Hold on a tick. Pinkie Pie says it's Rarity's fault, and Rarity says I sank the boat? Well, that's plumb crazy! If you two really wanna know what happened, I'll tell you. Y'all know how Pinkie Pie and Rarity wanted to get out of their "element"? Well, I bought a treasure map to give 'em a rip-roarin' seafarin' adventure! But they had other ideas.
Rarity: La-la-la! Prepare yourselves for the most luxurious boat outing that ever outed a boat!
Pinkie Pie: And more fun than you can shake a stick at! [squee] Because I brought a stick!
Applejack: Alright, mateys, but just y'all wait 'til you see the high seas adventure I've got planned!
[paper rolling]
Applejack: [narrating] Unfortunately, they seemed less interested in a treasure huntin' adventure and more interested in snacks.
Rarity: Oh, darling, that food isn't fit for a pony of proper breeding, darling, and refinement, darling! Now my cucumber sandwiches, on the other hoof...
Pinkie Pie: Bet you I can fit them all in my mouth! Ahh...
Rarity: Pinkie, darling, please!
Pinkie Pie: [chomping]
Applejack: [yelps]
[thud]
[splash]
[bubbling]
Applejack: U-uh, Rarity, I—
Rarity: Well, I never! Hum-ph!
Pinkie Pie: Me neither! Hum-ph!
Twilight Sparkle: Do you want to say it, or should I?
Spike: I'll go. That sure doesn't sound like Rarity or Pinkie Pie!
Applejack: Oh, it gets a sight worse than that!
Pinkie Pie: It's P.W.T. – Piñata Whacking Time!
Rarity: Oh, darling, whacking is a base pastime for common ponies. Doesn't interest me in the least.
Pinkie Pie: Meh. Hee-hee!
Applejack: Huh?
[spinning]
Applejack: Whoooooa!
[lightning cracks]
Applejack: Looks like we need to change course!
Rarity: Ooh! Why, this will make a perfect tablecloth for my cheeseboard!
Applejack: Maybe so, but it's also the only way to find Plunder Cove!
Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
Applejack: [narrating] And Pinkie Pie was just about as helpful as a weasel in a hen house.
Pinkie Pie: Captain Pinkie Pie reporting for map duty!
Rarity: [yelps]
[splash]
Applejack: Hold on, everypony!
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, so it was Rarity and Pinkie's fault?
Applejack: Yup! And maybe if they ever apologized, I'll consider talkin' to them again.
Spike: If they all blame each other, I don't know how we're gonna get them to talk again.
Twilight Sparkle: Neither do I, Spike. Neither do I.
Twilight Sparkle: There's gotta be some way to fix this. If Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity keep not talking to each other, they could forget what good friends they really are!
Spike: I just don't get it! All of their stories are so different! [sigh] We're never gonna figure out what really happened.
Twilight Sparkle: Their stories were different, but they also had a lot in common.
Spike: I guess... They were all on a ship that sank, and... that's about it.
Twilight Sparkle: Not quite.
[chalk drawing]
Twilight Sparkle: A-ha! Not only do I think I know how the boat sank, I have a pretty good idea how to get Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie back together!
Spike: I hope this plan of yours works.
Applejack: [panting] Winona brought me your note about a friendship emergency! H-How can I help?
Rarity: [panting] Opalescence delivered your message, Twilight! What's the emergency?
Pinkie Pie: It's a good thing it was time for Gummy's bath, or I might not have seen your note about the emergency, Twilight!
[beat]
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: What's she doing here?!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, but I just didn't know how else to get the three of you here together, and there really is a friendship emergency! Yours!
Applejack: Oh, there's no emergency! I'm just waitin' for an apology.
Rarity: An apology?!
Pinkie Pie: What?! Why would you want me to apologize when it was Rarity's fault?!
Rarity: What are you talking about? Applejack clearly caused the boat to sink! She stranded us in the middle of the ocean!
Spike: [frustrated scream] Will somepony please tell me how you made it back?!
[beat]
[splashing]
Applejack: [gasps]
Rarity: [gasps]
Rarity: Well... Maybe it wasn't the middle of the ocean...
Spike: Ugh.
Applejack: Even so, I don't appreciate bein' hornswoggled into comin' back here.
Rarity: On that, at least, we agree.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: I know you each have a different perspective on how the boat capsized and blame each other, but if you come on the boat with me I'll show you what really happened.
Rarity: Well, not that I have any doubts, but it will feel good for everypony to see exactly whose fault it was.
Applejack: I think we all know which pony's about to be proven right.
Pinkie Pie: We sure do.
Spike: Like I said, I sure hope this works.
Spike: [nervous laugh] [hushed] Whatever you're looking for, I hope you find it soon!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Spike. I've got it all under control. [to the others] While all of your stories seem very different, they all had something in common – cucumber sandwiches.
[clunk]
Applejack: What in the hay does that have to do with anythin'?
[splash]
Rarity: And why would you waste a perfectly good hors d'oeuvre?
Twilight Sparkle: You also mentioned the bubbling water.
[bubbling]
Twilight Sparkle: And the swell. Cucumber just happens to be the favorite food of the tri-horned bunyip, and bubbles followed by a swell is what happens when they swim up to the shallows from deep water.
Applejack: So... we attracted a tri-horned whatchamacallit?
Rarity: With cucumber sandwiches?
Pinkie Pie: Sounds like a stretch.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello, bunyip, sir!
[bunyip noises]
Rarity: So that's a...
Twilight Sparkle: A tri-horned bunyip! Who's very sorry he accidentally knocked over your boat. Right?
[bunyip noises]
Pinkie Pie: Wait, the storm had nothing to do with the capsizing?
Twilight Sparkle: Nope!
Rarity: All right. Even if our friend the bunyip is responsible for sinking the boat, it still doesn't excuse a certain pony's behavior!
Applejack: Me?! How about you and Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Pfft– What? Who? Me? No–
Twilight Sparkle: I think I can explain that too. Each of you spent so much time trying to come up with the perfect way to get the others out of their element, that you didn't notice your friends were doing the same thing!
Applejack: Wait a minute. You brought all those games and things for us?
Pinkie Pie: Of course! I figured the boat trip was the perfect time to do things that were silly and fun!
Rarity: And I was just trying to give the two of you the elegant cruise I thought you deserved.
Applejack: And I just wanted to give you two a high seas adventure, since that'd be somethin' new and different for y'all.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: Ohhhh.
Rarity: That is so sweet. You must have gone through so much trouble.
Applejack: Well, not half as much trouble as you did makin' all that fancy food, and bringin' all those games!
Twilight Sparkle: I guess this just teaches us that even long time friends need to work at communication.
Pinkie Pie: Well, there's something I'd like to communicate to you all right now! You girls are the best friends a pony could ever have!
Rarity: Oh, let's never fight again!
Pinkie Pie: You got it!
Applejack: [simultaneously] Agreed!
[bunyip noises]
Applejack: All right, you big softie! Bring it in!
[bunyip noises]
Pinkie Pie: Come on, bunyip, sir! You got it!
[splash]
[coins clinking]
Twilight Sparkle: One thing's for sure, Spike. There's nothing like a luxurious adventure boat party to get you out of your element.
Spike: You said it!
[credits]

Where the Apple Lies

Applejack: Well, that's the last of it, Filthy Rich.
Filthy Rich: Just Rich, please. And on behalf of Rich's Barnyard Bargains, thanks for another season's shipment of zap apple jam.
Applejack: Our pleasure. See ya next time.
[cart pulls away]
Applejack: Uh, Apple Bloom, did you pack up the cider into the same crates as the zap apple jam?
Apple Bloom: Sure did! Now that I'm gettin' older, I wanna prove I can handle more responsibility on the farm.
Applejack: But the crates aren't marked. You kept track of what went into which crate, right?
Apple Bloom: Oh. Um... y-yep. I totally kept track of everything.
Applejack: Good. Because we wouldn't want Filthy Rich to get a shipment of cider when he's supposed to get zap apple jam. You know how Granny feels about sellin' cider anywhere but on the farm. Are you sure he got the right crates?
Apple Bloom: [huffs] Sure I'm sure! Now why don't you and Big Mac head on out to the house and let me finish up here?
[glass jars rattle]
Applejack: If you gave Rich the zap apple jam, then what's this here?
Apple Bloom: Um... extra?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
[theme song]
Filthy Rich: Granny knows I-I wasn't tryin' to make off with a shipment of cider, right? Because I would never do that.
Applejack: Don't worry. We know exactly whose fault it was.
[cart pulls away]
[crate dragging]
Applejack: Now why in tarnation would you lie to me, Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: I was kinda hopin' I could fix it before anypony found out.
Applejack: Tellin' lies won't fix anythin'. Trust me. I know.
Apple Bloom: What could you possibly know about it? You've never told a lie in your whole life!
Big McIntosh: [laughing]
Granny Smith: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: What's so funny?
Granny Smith: Oh-ho, sugarcube. [laughing] Your big sister lied so much when she was a filly, the whole family ended up in the hospital.
Apple Bloom: What?!
Big McIntosh: [laughing] Eeyup!
Applejack: [groans] You might as well tell her the whole story. Might even do her some good.
Granny Smith: When Applejack and Big Mac were just a wee bit older than you are now, they both kept a-squabblin' over who would run the farm better.
Young Applejack: All I'm sayin' is that you may have plenty of brawn, but I'm the one with the ideas on how to run things better around here!
Young Big McIntosh: [laughs] Applejack, Applejack, Applejack, ideas are all well and good, but you can't plow a field with 'em. I don't know how many times I've told you that.
Young Applejack: Too many!
Granny Smith: You two horned toads better stop jabberin' and get to workin'! Yeah, they'd better. I need you to go to town. The apple blight's been awful, and if we don't get more spray, cider season'll be shorter than a dwarf crabapple tree!
Young Applejack and Young Big McIntosh: [snarl]
Young Big McIntosh: It's like I was just tellin' Cousin Braeburn last week. Now there's a pony who knows how to put his back into a problem...
Young Applejack: [growls] Oh, hey there, Filthy Rich!
Filthy Rich: Just Rich, please. And I'd you to meet my fiancée, Spoiled Milk. Honey, this is Applejack and Big Mac, the two hardest workin' ponies at Sweet Apple Acres.
Spoiled Milk: You work on a farm? How... quaint.
Filthy Rich: [chuckles] Oh, now, dear, be nice. Sweet Apple Acres makes zap apple jam. It's one of Dad's best-sellers.
Spoiled Milk: You mean one of your best-sellers. [to AJ and Big Mac] My amazing husband-to-be is running the Rich family business now. Did you know that? Well, now you do.
Filthy Rich: [chuckles] Don't mind Spoiled Milk. She's just proud of me. Uh, but she's right. I'm in charge of the store now, and I'm just burstin' with ideas I wanna try!
Young Applejack: Like what?
Filthy Rich: Well, how 'bout this? Cider season's around the corner. Why not let me sell it for ya?
Young Applejack: That is an interesting idea.
Young Big McIntosh: Well, maybe it's interestin', an' maybe it ain't. But it's definitely not a new idea. Granny Smith told us your grandpa, Stinkin' Rich, used to ask her every year if he could sell our cider in your store, and Granny told him every year about the tradition of everypony in Ponyville linin' up out at Sweet Apple Acres.
Filthy Rich: So start a new tradition. Some day, one o' y'all will take over the farm just like I've taken over the store. I'm guessin' it'll the one with the best ideas.
Young Big McIntosh: Well, now, as I've said many a time before, ideas are all well an' good, but you can't plow a field—
Young Applejack: Ya know what? How 'bout we give you three barrels of cider early, and if it sells well, we'll make a deal for the rest?
Filthy Rich: Oh, hey, now! Perfect! [to Spoiled Milk] Come on, honey. I've gotta get everything ready.
Young Applejack: Hoo-wee! I tell ya, if the future means me runnin' Sweet Apple Acres and you bein' quiet, I can't wait!
Young Big McIntosh: I just can't believe you'd make a deal with Filthy Rich without even talkin' to Granny!
Young Applejack: Aw, Granny will love the idea. And then she'll decide that I'm the one who should take over the farm. You'll see.
Granny Smith: See what?
Young Big McIntosh: Applejack here had another one of her "big ideas", and I think we all know my position on ideas. You can't—
Granny Smith and Young Applejack: "Can't plow a field with 'em."
Young Big McIntosh: Ee... right.
Granny Smith: Big idea, hmmm?
Young Applejack: Actually, more of an opportunity. Y'see, we ran into Filthy Rich in town. Did ya know he's runnin' the family store now?
Granny Smith: And what does this here "opportunity" mean for Sweet Apple Acres?
Young Applejack: Well, uh, since cider season is almost here, he—or, I-I mean, I—thought it'd be a good idea to give him a few barrels of cider to sell at the store before the season starts.
Granny Smith: Oh, is that all? Absolutely not!
Young Applejack: [groans]
Young Applejack: [scoffs] But, Granny, why can't we sell a few barrels o' cider early to Filthy Rich? And how is it any different than when you gave zap apple jam to Filthy's grandpappy to sell?
Granny Smith: Your cider and your jam ain't the same thing! Zap apple jam jars preserve the flavor for moons, but cider starts to spoil the second it comes out the press. That is why every cider season, all of Ponyville lines up at Sweet Apple Acres. And first come is first served! Hmph!
Young Applejack: I get what you're sayin', Granny. But couldn't you make an exception just this once? I sort of promised.
Granny Smith: Mm, meh-enh. Besides, cider-makin' is iffy business. And we're probably not gonna have a lot this year anyway, what with all the blight. I am sorry, Applejack, but you's just gonna have to un-promise.
Young Applejack: [sighs] Oh.
Young Big McIntosh: I hate to say I told you so, Applejack, but—
Young Applejack: You an' I both know you don't hate to say anythin'.
Young Big McIntosh: Well, I've always thought that the most important thing a pony can do is say exactly what's on his mind to anypony who'll listen, so everypony everywhere always knows everythin' they're thinkin', and—
Young Applejack: And you don't ever have to listen to anypony else.
Young Big McIntosh: What?
Young Applejack: Exactly.
Filthy Rich: Well, if it ain't my new business partner!
Young Applejack: Uh, about the cider, Rich...
Filthy Rich: Take a look at what I did last night after we made our deal!
[zip!]
Filthy Rich: Whoo! Ha! Pretty great, huh?
Young Applejack: The thing is, I-I don't think I can get you any.
Filthy Rich: What? Well, I did all this work on your say-so! We shook hooves and everything!
Young Big McIntosh: Well, you see, at Sweet Apple Acres, we've always been about quality, and while your basic jam jar'll keep—
Young Applejack: Plus it's been a tough harvest this year, what with all the blight.
Filthy Rich: Gah! Sounds to me like you're tryin' to make excuses! Whenever Granddad dealt with Granny Smith, she kept her word! If you can't do that, then maybe our families should stop doin' business together! Altogether!
Young Big McIntosh: Now, now, the thing is, Rich, it ain't really up to us. Y'see, Granny's—
Young Applejack: Uh, sick!
Filthy Rich: Wait, Granny's sick? I-I had no idea.
Young Big McIntosh: Ee... yeah. Nopony did.
Young Applejack: Uh, what Big Mac means is, uh, we've been tryin' to keep it quiet. Don't want people to make rash decisions about doin' business with Sweet Apple Acres just because we're, uh, a little short-hooved at the moment.
Filthy Rich: Oh, my! O-Of course, of course! I am so sorry. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.
Young Applejack: Much appreciated. But right now, we-we only ask for your understandin' during this difficult time.
Filthy Rich: Mm-hmm.
Young Big McIntosh: You were supposed to tell Rich the simple truth! But instead, you made things worse with a giant lie!
Young Applejack: W-W-What was I supposed to do? You heard Rich. If I told him the truth, he was gonna stop doin' business with us altogether.
Young Big McIntosh: Yeah, but that's only because I... I forgot to ask if we had any oat crumbles for this delicious-lookin' salad, Granny.
Granny Smith: [grunts] Yeah, I'll go take a look. [mutters]
Young Big McIntosh: [hushed] That was only because you made promises you couldn't keep! But there's gotta be a better way out of this mess than by makin' up some story about Granny bein' sick!
Young Applejack: [hushed] Well, it worked, didn't it?
[knock on door]
Filthy Rich: Sorry to drop by unannounced. We just wanted to come by to wish Granny a speedy recovery.
Young Big McIntosh: [sarcastic] Look, sis. Our good friend, Mr. Rich and his fiancée... are here. Oh, and they brought flowers! For Granny! On account o' she's sick! Like you said. Ain't that sweet?
[door rattles]
Young Applejack: Uh, excuse me one second!
[door closes]
Granny Smith: Aah!
[crash!]
Granny Smith: Golly, what in tarnation?
Young Applejack: Oh, I'm sorry, Granny. I-I didn't see ya there.
Granny Smith: Ya came blastin' in so fast, t'weren't possible to see nothin'!
Young Applejack: Can you go out to the barn? I, uh, I think I might've left a blight sprayer in the orchard.
Granny Smith: Are you outta yer apple-pickin' mind?! It's suppertime, girl!
Young Applejack: I know, but, uh, if we forgot a sprayer, I'd wanna get it before dark. You go start countin', a—and I'll tell Big Mac we'll be right back, okay?
[door slams]
Young Big McIntosh: ...so from that moment on, I took to referrin' to myself as Big or Large or...
Filthy Rich: Oh, Applejack! Your brother was just explainin' why he always wears his yoke.
Spoiled Milk: Even though we asked him how your grandmare is doing!
Young Applejack: Oh, well, you know how Big Mac can get to... to talkin', especially when he's upset. And right now, he's just as worried about Granny Smith as I am.
Filthy Rich: Oh, dear. Is she doin' that bad?
Young Applejack: Well, one thing's for sure, she... she shouldn't be seein' anypony right now. In fact, I'm gettin' more upset just thinkin' about it. Excuse me.
[thud]
Granny Smith: D'oh! What in the frilly fumidil has gotten into you?!
Young Applejack: Sorry, Granny. I just decided if I helped you, it would go faster.
Granny Smith: Well, you're too late. All the sprayers are here.
Young Applejack: Oh, good. Uh, say, Granny, when did you first fight the apple blight again?
Granny Smith: It was my second year here in Ponyville. Uh, they was before I had the rick on the one knee.
Young Big McIntosh: ...and others say that's how the trees got to growin' so tall. But to me, it's just how I got my cutie mark!
Spoiled Milk: But we asked when we could come back to see Granny.
Young Applejack: Uh, Big Mac didn't wanna be rude, but you just can't see Granny right now, because she's... got apple blight!
Filthy Rich: [gasps] I thought only trees got the blight!
Young Applejack: Yeah, that's usually the case. [beat] The doctors think it's from workin' in the orchards for so many years. [beat] Y'see, we had to take Granny to Ponyville General. We just got back right before you showed up.
Filthy Rich: Oh, my. That is terrible!
Spoiled Milk: Ew! It's not contagious, is it?
Young Applejack: Um, I'm sure you'll be fine, but you should leave... [coughs] ...just in case.
Filthy Rich: You're right. We're gonna have to hurry if we wanna get there before visitin' hours are over.
Young Applejack: That's right. Wait. Get where?
Filthy Rich: Why, the hospital, of course. I'm sure we'll see you there.
Young Big McIntosh: Tellin' Filthy Rich that Granny's in the hospital just made everythin' a hundred times worse! What are we supposed to do now?
Young Applejack: I got it!
Granny Smith: Dropped my second best teeth right in the pigpen, and that was the worst case of apple blight I have ever seen!
Young Applejack: I'd love to hear more, Granny, but we gotta get to the hospital right away!
Granny Smith: The hospital? Why? Who's sick?
Young Big McIntosh: You are, apparently.
Young Applejack: What he means is you're needed at the hospital.
Granny Smith: Heh. Whatever for?
Young Applejack: It's the apple blight! It's startin' to infect ponies now! The doctors need an expert opinion, and nopony knows more about fightin' blight than Granny Smith!
Granny Smith: Well, what in tarnation are we waitin' for? Let's go!
Young Big McIntosh: [inhales] [chokes]
Young Applejack: [gasps] You know, we're supposed to go in, uh, in the back! Uh, to avoid anypony in the waitin' room with the blight.
[indistinct conversations]
Young Applejack: Oops! I almost forgot!
[hooves squeaking on tiles]
Young Big McIntosh: Hrk!
Young Applejack: This is perfect! Now you don't have to worry about catchin' the blight.
Granny Smith: [slightly muffled] If you say so, dearie.
Young Applejack: Now you wait right here while I, uh... check on your presentation!
Granny Smith: What in the rotten rhubarb is goin' on here?
Young Applejack: [nervous laugh] Fancy meetin' you two here!
Spoiled Milk: Well, we told you we were coming.
Filthy Rich: Well, I'm glad we found you, because I can't seem to find Granny's room or any nurses who've even heard about a pony with apple blight.
Young Applejack: Granny's room. Sure! Just go down here, take a left, then a right, go down some stairs, up a bunch more stairs, uh, through the cafeteria, left three more times, and then you're there! Easy as Granny's apple pie! [nervous laugh]
Filthy Rich: Uh, aren't you comin' with us?
Young Applejack: Uh, I'll catch up! I gotta find Big Mac!
Young Applejack: Okay, Granny, just wait here one second and we can go.
Granny Smith: Where are you two going?
Young Applejack: Big Mac can't come! He, uh, might be contagious!
Young Big McIntosh and Granny Smith: Contagious?!
Young Applejack: All right, climb up here and I'll cover you up. Then I'll bring Rich in, tell him you're Granny, but you're not allowed to take the sheets off. You moan a few times, he leaves, and this whole thing is over.
Young Big McIntosh: This is spinnin' way out of control, Applejack! Now I know you thought sellin' cider in Filthy's store was a good idea, but it ain't worth lyin' to him about Granny bein' sick and needin' to go to the hospital, or fibbin' to Granny about them wantin' her come here to talk about the blight, or—
Young Applejack: Big McIntosh, please just listen to me for once! This ain't about my ideas. If Rich finds out about all the lies, he'll cut off ties with us and the farm'll go under! Now do you want that to happen, or do you wanna help?
Young Big McIntosh: Why can't you be Granny? You're her size, and this is all your fault in the first place.
Young Applejack: I would, but if I let you do the talkin', you'd just ramble on and on until we all got caught!
Young Big McIntosh: [groans]
Young Applejack: Just lay down, keep still, and promise me you won't say anythin' for once in your life!
Young Big McIntosh: [unconvinced] Eeeeyup.
Young Applejack: Granny! [squeaks] [hushed] Granny!
Granny Smith: It's about time! What is goin' on around here?!
Young Applejack: Uh, Granny, they need you to wait here! I'll come get ya!
[door opens]
Granny Smith: [yelps]
[door closes]
Filthy Rich: [panting] There you are! We've been going in circles looking for Granny's room!
Young Applejack: Well, you're in luck, 'cause it's-it's right over here, and this time I'll make sure you don't get lost.
[gurney squeaking]
Young Applejack: What in the dadgum—?!
Spoiled Milk: What now?
Young Applejack: He– I mean, she was right here! Oh, no. We gotta go!
[gurney squeaking]
Spoiled Milk: I-Is that Granny Smith?
Filthy Rich: Where are they takin' her?
[door opens]
[gurney squeaking]
Young Applejack: You two, don't lose that gurney! [hushed] Granny, what are you doin'? You were supposed to stay there!
Granny Smith: It was a supply closet!
Young Applejack: Oh. Uh... Well, okay, come with me, but be quiet! You know, save your voice for the big presentation!
[door opens]
Young Applejack: [gasps]
"Hippocratic Oath": I-I-I'm sorry, but you can't get any closer without a gown and mask.
Young Applejack: But-but-but-but that's my brother on there!
"Hippocratic Oath": Don't worry. This is our best doctor. She'll have your brother back on his hooves in no time.
Young Applejack: [groans]
Granny Smith: Now apple blight is a serious disease!
"Doctor Spring Bud": [splutters] Did she say... apple blight?
"Open Heart": I think she said "gasket mites".
Granny Smith: And once your trunk turns red like this, the only thing to do is prune the branches.
Filthy Rich: [gasps] Oh, no! Granny!
"Open Heart": Did you say..."prune them branches"?
Granny Smith: Well, sure! What else you gonna do once the blight gets this bad?
[cloth moving]
[scare chord]
[doctors, nurses, and audience gasping]
Young Applejack: Everypony, just stop! This is all a big misunderstandin'! [pants] Actually... it's a big lie.
[cloth moving]
[doctors, nurses, and audience gasping]
Granny Smith: Big Mac?!
Filthy Rich: [gasps] Granny Smith?! What is goin' on here, Applejack?!
Granny Smith: That is a darn good question.
Young Applejack: [sighs] I'm not sure if I was worried that nopony was listenin' to my ideas or just nervous that I wouldn't be the one to end up runnin' the farm, but... I promised somethin' to Filthy Rich that I couldn't deliver, and I was too embarrassed to admit it.
Filthy Rich: So Granny was never sick?
Granny Smith: And there ain't no apple blighted ponies?
Young Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Young Applejack: Those were all lies. A-And I thought if you found out, you'd stop doin' business with the farm. So I just kept tellin' more.
"Hippocratic Oath": So she's not a doctor?
Young Applejack: Please don't make Granny and the farm suffer for what I did! This whole thing is my fault.
Young Big McIntosh: That's... not entirely true. Maybe if I paid more attention to what you had to say instead of talkin' all the time, none o' this would've happened in the first place. I just need to... talk less and listen more. Especially to you.
Young Applejack: [sighs] Thanks, big brother. And whether it's me runnin' Sweet Apple Acres or you, I know it'll be in good hooves.
Granny Smith: Well, that's nice, but I don't know what in blazes you two are talkin' about! I ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon! [blows raspberry] Runnin' the farm. Not after this display! Not likely! [to Filthy Rich] And don't you go gettin' any ideas about cuttin' ties with Sweet Apple Acres, or I'm goin' right to your grandpappy. Get me?
Filthy Rich: [stutters] Um, yes, ma'am.
Granny Smith: Now, who here still wants to hear about the apple blight? Now, when I was a filly...
Apple Bloom: I can't believe you told all those lies!
Applejack: It's not a story I'm proud of, but it taught me a lifelong lesson about bein' honest. I hope you learned somethin', too.
Apple Bloom: I sure did. I learned that nopony starts out perfect and sometimes you gotta make a few mistakes to figure out who you are.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: But I think the most important thing I learned is who really runs Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big McIntosh: Granny!
Granny Smith: You're darn tootin'! Now everypony quit your lollygaggery and get back to work! Right after we have a glass of cider.
Apple family: [laughing]
[credits]

Top Bolt

[locker door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Spring training was awesome, but I can't wait to see my friends!
[locker door closes]
Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna catch up on some Daring Do with Twilight, help Applejack make my favorite cider, and have a sleepover with Pinkie!
Misty Fly: We get it. You have a fun week planned.
Spitfire: Meanwhile, I'm stuck here running trials week at the Academy.
Rainbow Dash: But you love yelling and blowing your whistle.
Spitfire: Yeah. I do.
Rainbow Dash: See you gals later!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[cutie mark ringing]
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Oh, the map!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Twilight! So where am I going? The Crystal Mountains? Vanhoover? Here? Please say here.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the good news is we both got called by the map!
Rainbow Dash: Awesome! [beat] Does that mean there's bad news?
Twilight Sparkle: No. Well, not exactly.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] I was just there!
[theme song]
[whoosh]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh!
Rainbow Dash: Ahem.
Spitfire: All right, newbies! Welcome to trials week for the Wonderbolt Academy! You'll be judged on your speed, strength, agility, and technique, culminating in a final evaluation. Will it be hard? Yes! Will you cry? Maybe. Will you fly so much your wings fall off? That has only happened once.
Angel Wings: She's just exaggerating to make a point, right? I mean, wings can't really fall off... can they?
Spitfire: You think you've got what it takes to be an elite flyer?
Sky Stinger: Yes, ma'am.
Rest of recruits: Yes, ma'am!
Spitfire: Well, lemme tell you. You don't!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs wistfully] I remember when she said that to me.
Recruits: [muttering in awe]
Angel Wings: You don't think Rainbow Dash is the pony whose wings fell off, do you?
Spitfire: [blows whistle] Quit your whispering and give me five hundred laps! Go, go, go!
[whooshes]
Angel Wings: Um, I just wanted you to know, you two are my favorite ponies in all of Equestria.
Spitfire: Well, isn't that sweet? Now get going on those laps!
[whoosh]
Spitfire: Welcome, Princess Twilight. [to Rainbow Dash] What are you doing back so soon?
Rainbow Dash: Official friendship business.
Twilight Sparkle: Have you noticed anypony having a hard time with their friends?
Spitfire: Not really, but it's not my job to worry about their relationships. I'm here to make them elite flyers.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Adorable. They're so full of hope and competition. Eh, their technique could use some work, though.
Twilight Sparkle: You should tell them. I'm sure they'd appreciate any notes from you.
Rainbow Dash: Nah. I wouldn't want to mess with their confidence.
Twilight Sparkle: But they'll never get better if they don't know what to work on.
Spitfire: Sloppy wing placement, crooked lines... I'm gonna have to drill them on basic technique in the classroom portion.
Twilight Sparkle: Classroom portion?
Spitfire: Yeah, it's everypony's least favorite part of trial week, but it has to be done.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we can help!
Rainbow Dash: We can?
Twilight Sparkle: Absolutely! Between your flying skills and my teaching expertise, they could learn a lot! Plus, once they get to know us, they'll be more comfortable coming to us with their friendship problems!
Rainbow Dash: Count us in!
Spitfire: Great! [blows whistle]
[whooshes, thud]
Spitfire: You have your work cut out for you.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank goodness I had time to whip up a few charts on flight patterns and wing symmetry! It's fresh in my mind from when I learned to fly! This is so exciting!
Rainbow Dash: Maybe for you. I practically fell asleep when I went through this. Tell you what. I'll leave the teaching stuff to you, and I'll just make sure they stay awake! [blows airhorn]
[Twilight's ears ringing]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm pretty sure their thirst for knowledge will keep them bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Good one, Twilight.
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: [blows airhorn]
Recruits: [gasping]
Rainbow Dash: Wake up, newbies! Class is in session!
Twilight Sparkle: Hello, students! I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: But you can call us "T-Sparks" and "The Dashinator"!
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs nervously] Just kidding.
Twilight Sparkle: And we're here to go over basic flying technique.
Sky Stinger: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Who said that?!
Sky Stinger: Me. I mean, we're here because we're amazingly awesome crazy-good flyers. We're way past basics.
Rainbow Dash: What's your name?
Sky Stinger: Sky Stinger. You've, uh, never heard of me?
Vapor Trail: He set the record for the fastest vertical acceleration rate! Five hundred feet in two seconds!
Rainbow Dash: [unimpressed] Huh. That's pretty impressive.
Vapor Trail: It's amazing.
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] It is, and we can talk personal records after class, Ms...?
Sky Stinger: Vapor Trail. She's my wingpony. I never fly without her.
Rainbow Dash: But you'll have to in the solo trials.
Vapor Trail: There are... [gulps] ...solo trials?
Rainbow Dash: Yup. It's a part of your final evaluation.
Sky Stinger: [scoffs] We'll ace that test with our wings tied behind our flanks. My picture will go right up there, next to yours.
Rainbow Dash: That's a mighty big claim, considering everypony here is an amazingly awesome crazy-good flyer.
Sky Stinger: I know.
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] Okay! Let's get back on track. Now, who can tell me the best wing angle to achieve minimal air resistance?
Rainbow Dash: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: [blows airhorn]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Wake up newbies! Class is in session!
[door opens]
Recruits: [chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, there were a few hiccups, but overall, that went pretty well.
Rainbow Dash: [cricks neck, yawns] Yeah, nopony fell asleep. What? I'm not a student!
Sky Stinger: Hey, Teach!
Rainbow Dash: Me or Twilight? Probably Twilight.
Sky Stinger: Um, uh, both. About the solo test. I'm actually kinda worried about it.
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, that's all right. We all have moments where we doubt ourselves.
Sky Stinger: No, no. I've absolutely zero doubts about myself. I'm a strong flyer. Like, really, really, really strong. This isn't about me. I'm worried for Vapor.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well, that is very... kind of you?
Rainbow Dash: Tell you what. It's almost time for your freestyle training. Why don't you grab her and show us what you got?
Sky Stinger: Yes! Prepare to be impressed!
[whoosh]
Sky Stinger: By me.
[whoosh]
Sky Stinger: Like I said, Vapor still needs work.
[whoosh]
[whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, he may be full of himself, but I have to admit, Sky is an excellent flyer. He must have shot up two hundred feet!
Rainbow Dash: But did you see Vapor Trail? Her wing was under his. I think she gave him a boost.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I didn't even notice Vapor. I was too busy watching Sky.
[whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] I think you're right! Vapor just created a gust of wind that caught Sky's wing at a forty-five degree angle, propelling him into a flipping loop! [beat] Somepony paid attention in class!
Rainbow Dash: Sky obviously has no idea he's not actually amazingly awesome.
Twilight Sparkle: And Vapor's so busy making her friend look good, she's not focused on her own flying at all. [gasps] This must be our friendship problem! And there's only one thing to do!
Rainbow Dash:
Fix it without telling them.
Twilight Sparkle:
Tell them the truth.
[distant whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: You don't want to tell them?
Rainbow Dash: Of course not! Flying is like thirty percent skill and seventy percent confidence! You can't mess with a flyer's confidence!
Twilight Sparkle: But you can't improve if you don't think you have to! Besides, Vapor's keeping a pretty big secret from Sky, and that could lead to trouble!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but if we tell them that they've been holding each other back, that could be trouble too!
Sky Stinger: Ah, I nailed that flipping loop. I'm actually surprised you're still here. Thought I blew you away.
Vapor Trail: [out of breath] You were... great, Sky.
[thud]
Spitfire: Come on, Vapor Trail! You're gonna have to build up your endurance if you want a shot at the Academy! Wonderbolts don't get winded! Angel Wings, you call that cloud-busting?! That cloud barely knew you were there! I love my job.
Sky Stinger: We'll keep working, and who knows? One day, you might come close to being almost as good as me.
Vapor Trail: Oh, I don't think so. You were voted Stratusburg's most promising flyer! I was voted best sneeze. [sneezes]
Sky Stinger: You do have a really great sneeze.
Vapor Trail: Thanks, Sky, but I don't think I can sneeze my way into the Academy. [sighs] I'm pretty beat. I'm gonna hit the showers.
Sky Stinger: You have to help her.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, she's not the one—
Rainbow Dash: Will do!
[locker opens]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, you did great. You're a really strong flyer.
Vapor Trail: Uh, me?
Twilight Sparkle: Vapor Trail, we know what you've been doing.
Rainbow Dash: You've been doing great!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] You've been helping Sky!
Vapor Trail: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about! Sky doesn't need anypony's help. He's amazing.
[poink poink]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Not without you. And it's gonna be pretty obvious during the solo trials when he can't get enough air to do a flipping loop.
Vapor Trail: Oh, no! I can't let that happen! I mean, ah, uh... Aw, sugarcubes!
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you doing this for him?
Vapor Trail: [sighs] It started when we were kids. You have to understand...
Vapor Trail: [narrating] ...Sky grew up with a lot of siblings. It was tough. He was always trying to get his parents' attention. Meanwhile, I was an only child who hated all the attention I got from mine.
"Twirly Whirly": Vapor Trail! Where are you? Do you need a snack? Do you wanna do homework?
"Steer Straight": Or we can just spend some time together! All day is never enough!
Young Vapor Trail: [sighs]
Young Sky Stinger: Mom, Dad, I'm here! Look, look, look-look-look-look, hey! Mom, Dad, can you see?
[wind blowing]
[whooshing, baby crying]
Young Sky Stinger: [sighs]
Young Vapor Trail: Whoa, that was amazing!
[whoosh]
Vapor Trail: [narrating] Flying together gave us both what we wanted! But I never told Sky how much I was helping him. It started with a small boost here or a little gust of wind there, but I didn't think my help could actually hurt his chances.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand. But now you're both in trouble!
Rainbow Dash: You need to work on your tricks, and Sky needs to be able to fly without you or he won't make it.
Vapor Trail: Oh, but he has to! Flying with the Wonderbolts has been Sky's dream ever since he was a colt!
Twilight Sparkle: What about you?
Vapor Trail: I... I guess I haven't thought about it. I just want to be with my best friend.
Rainbow Dash: Then we have to find a way to help both of you.
Twilight Sparkle: Starting with telling Sky the truth.
Vapor Trail: No, you can't! Sky will be crushed! And without his confidence, he won't fly as well!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Then I guess we'll give Dash's method a shot.
Rainbow Dash: Yes! Hah-hah! I love being right! Okay, here's what we do. Sky needs to build his strength. Air drills, wing lifts, all that boring methodical stuff.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like my cup of oats.
Vapor Trail: But how will we get him to do that? He doesn't think he needs practice.
Rainbow Dash: We'll just tell Sky that he should practice with Twilight so you won't feel so self-conscious about getting special training from me.
Vapor Trail: With you? Really?! You'd do that for me?
Rainbow Dash: Hah. You say that like it's not gonna be a blast.
[montage music]
[thud]
Vapor Trail: Whooa... Ah!
[clang, clang, clang, clang]
[whooshing]
[wind blowing]
[tires screeching]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, you were awesome!
Vapor Trail: Really? Thanks! I can't believe I was able to keep up!
Rainbow Dash: That's the first nice thing I've heard you say about yourself.
Sky Stinger: Hey, can we switch now? I want to do tricks with Rainbow Dash!
Vapor Trail: You can't! I mean, uh, you're already so good at the fancy stuff!
Sky Stinger: Heh. And the basic stuff. [beat] You're right, I don't need to practice at all.
Vapor Trail: Um, maybe, Sky, you should...
Sky Stinger: I'm already the best and everypony's gonna know it when I'm asked to join the Academy tomorrow.
Vapor Trail: But not if you don't practice...!
Sky Stinger: Heh. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked me to become a Wonderbolt straight out of the trials. Boom, dream achieved.
Vapor Trail: [squealing] Sky, you're not as good as you think you are! [gasps]
[beat]
Sky Stinger: What did you say?
Vapor Trail: [sighs] Sky, I want you to get in as much as anypony, and you're amazing, but...
Sky Stinger: But what?
Vapor Trail: I've been... helping you.
Sky Stinger: [scoffs] Puh-lease! I don't need your help! Watch! [straining]
Rainbow Dash: Gyuh...
[thud]
Sky Stinger: [panting] How can you do this to me? Did you all know? Oh, great. So everypony but me knows I'm a joke. Was this your plan the whole time? To embarrass me?
Vapor Trail: What? No! Don't you know me at all?
Sky Stinger: I guess not, since it took me this long to find out you're a terrible wingpony!
Vapor Trail: [gasps] I can't believe you!
Sky Stinger: I can't believe I was ever your friend!
[whoosh]
Vapor Trail: Thanks a lot.
[Dizzitron whirring]
Rainbow Dash: Do you think they're still mad?
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, they're still mad.
Twilight Sparkle: This is all my fault. If we'd just done things your way, maybe we could have avoided this whole mess.
Rainbow Dash: No, it's my fault. It hit me when I was watching Sky train with you. He wasn't even trying!
[Dizzitron whirring]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no. He's lost his confidence.
Spitfire: Do you want to tell me why one of my most promising students is flying like a balloon with a hole in it?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, it's a long story, but we'll fix it.
Spitfire: Yes, you will. [blows whistle]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] We really messed up, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: I have a plan.
Sky Stinger: [straining]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Sky. I thought I might find you here.
Sky Stinger: Well, apparently, I need a lot of practice. Guess I'm not the natural I thought I was.
Twilight Sparkle: No, you're not.
Sky Stinger: [sarcastic] Thanks. Good pep talk.
Twilight Sparkle: I wasn't a natural at friendship. But with some practice and help from my friends, I got better, and now I'm the Princess of Friendship!
Sky Stinger: So you're saying I can be the... Princess of Flying?
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: You know, you're really good. You're lead pony material.
Vapor Trail: Hm. That's sweet of you, but no. I couldn't handle all the attention.
Rainbow Dash: But you'll never become a Wonderbolt if you're too afraid to shine. That is what you want, right?
Vapor Trail: Well, not at first. I just wanted to be with Sky. But learning to do all those fun tricks with you? It made me realize this is something I want for myself!
Rainbow Dash: I was hoping you'd say that. Come with me.
Sky Stinger: What's she doing here?
Rainbow Dash: Sky, Vapor was never trying to steal your spotlight. She thought she was helping you.
Twilight Sparkle: And Vapor, you shouldn't have been so content to take a back seat.
Rainbow Dash: Now, you can either stay mad, or help each other and become two of the greatest flyers the Wonderbolt Academy has ever seen! [beat] Please pick the second option. I don't want Spitfire to be mad at me.
[whoosh]
[wind blowing]
Vapor Trail: You got this, Sky!
Sky Stinger: Focus on a cloud when you spin! It'll help you fly straight when you come out of it!
Vapor Trail: Uh-huh!
[whoosh]
[scribbling]
[whoosh]
[stopwatch ticking]
Vapor Trail: [whooping]
[tires screeching]
[whoosh]
Sky Stinger: Whoo, yeah! [laughs]
[tires screeching]
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [cheering]
[tires screeching]
Recruits: [cheering]
Spitfire: Congratulations! You've both made it into the Wonderbolt Academy!
[flump]
Spitfire: Whatever you did, it worked. They still have a lot of potential. Who knows? They might even be better than you, Crash.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] Okay, let's not get carried away.
Angel Wings: Um, I just wanted you to know, you two are my new favorite ponies in all of Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I heard that!
Vapor Trail: I can't believe we did it!
Sky Stinger: You were great! Even though you can out-fly me, you can be my wingpony anytime.
Vapor Trail: Aw. [chuckles] And you can be mine.
[cutie marks ringing]
[doors open]
Rainbow Dash: [spine clicking]
[doors close]
Twilight Sparkle: Phew. It's good to be home.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] You're telling me. Now we can finally catch up with some Daring Do, I can make cider with Applejack—
[knocking]
[door opens]
Misty Fly: Dash! I've been looking all over for you! Wonderbolt emergency! We got to get back to HQ.
Rainbow Dash: You've gotta be kidding me! I was just there! [sighs]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
[credits]

To Where and Back Again - Part 1

Spike: [grunting, yelps] Well, we don't all have magical horns.
Twilight Sparkle: I've been meaning to move these older books to my reference section for a while. Got to keep the new books front and center! Thank you both for your help.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding? After all you've done for me, this is the least I can do.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, please. I haven't done that much.
Starlight Glimmer: Nah. You just taught me the value of friendship. Not much at all.
Twilight Sparkle: I may have offered some guidance, but you are responsible for the pony you've become. I'm proud to call you my student and my friend. Now we just need to get rid of these boxes. Spike, can you—? Spike?
Spike: What's that?
Twilight Sparkle: Is it a bird?
Starlight Glimmer: Is it a parasprite?
Spike: It's... it's... incoming!
[crash]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. I usually get letters by dragon.
Spike: It is the fastest way to get mail!
Starlight Glimmer: For me? Who'd be sending me a letter? It's... the ponies from my old village.
Twilight Sparkle: Are they in danger?
Spike: Are they upset with you?
Starlight Glimmer: No... It's worse! They've invited me to the annual Sunset Festival!
[theme song]
Starlight Glimmer: [exhales] Uh, hey there, everypony.
Party Favor: Uh... Hey, Starlight. What are you doing here?
Starlight Glimmer: I-I... I was invited. To the Sunset Festival?
Double Diamond: Uh, yeah, but we didn't think you'd actually show up.
Party Favor: You didn't think we really wanted you here, did you?
[paper tearing]
Starlight Glimmer: But... I... apologized. I thought everything was fine.
Double Diamond and Party Favor: [laughing derisively]
Village ponies: [increasingly deranged laughter]
Starlight Glimmer: Please...! Stop...! Stop!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: What happened? Is anypony there? Princess Luna? W-What are you doing here?
Princess Luna: Dreams are my domain, Starlight Glimmer. I am here because you need me to be.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. It's only a dream.
Princess Luna: It may only be a dream, but the feelings in it are real.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Great. So I guess I'm more afraid of going back to the village than I thought. What do I do now?
Princess Luna: I have been helped time and time again by six very special ponies. They helped me overcome my past. You're fortunate to have them as friends. I suggest you share your concerns with them. I see much of myself in you, Starlight Glimmer, and I can tell you from personal experience that things do indeed get better.
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Starlight Glimmer: ...and Princess Luna said I should tell you all how I was feeling. So... there it is. I'm afraid to go back to the village for the celebration.
Rarity: But why, darling? You went back to apologize. They accepted. Everypony has moved on.
Starlight Glimmer: But have they? They don't really know how much I've changed. Or even worse, maybe I haven't changed as much as I think I have!
Rainbow Dash: Trust me. You are a totally different pony now. I mean, you were pretty awful.
Applejack: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: What? She was! It's a compliment!
Fluttershy: I don't think they would've sent the invitation if they didn't want you to come. I'm sure they'd be happy to see you.
Pinkie Pie: And getting an invitation to a party and not going?! That's like... I-It's like...! Well, I don't know what it's like, but it is definitely bad.
Applejack: Just be honest with them. I'm sure they'll understand where you're comin' from.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand how hard this is for you. Maybe if you took a friend along, it might make things easier. Somepony you trust who would look out for you?
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks so much for doing this, Trixie. When Twilight said I should bring a friend, you were the first pony I thought of.
Trixie: Great idea, Princess Twilight. Asking me – Starlight's best friend – to help her on this difficult journey really shows how wise a princess you have become.
Twilight Sparkle: [through gritted teeth] Thanks, Trixie. [hushed, to Spike] I was talking about me.
Starlight Glimmer: The festival lasts a whole week, but I'm sure we won't stay that long.
Trixie: Oh. I don't know, Starlight. Time really flies when you're spending it with your best friend! [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [strained noise]
Main cast: [overlapping farewells]
[eagle cries]
Trixie: There it is! The town where you—
Starlight Glimmer: Magically stole everypony's cutie marks, replaced them with equal signs, and forced them all to hide their natural talents? Yes.
Trixie: I was going to say where you came from, but yours is a more... emotionally traumatic answer.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I just want to... blend in. Be just another pony in the crowd enjoying the Sunset Festival with my friend.
Trixie: Sounds good to me! And if things get weird for you, just let me know. I've got your flank.
Starlight Glimmer: Is that a promise?
Trixie: Not just a promise. A great and powerful promise!
[bamf]
Trixie: [coughing]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I couldn't ask for more than that. If we're gonna do this, let's do it.
Double Diamond: Oh! Starlight, you came!
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous giggle]
Party Favor: We were worried you wouldn't be able to make it! Are you staying the whole week? We have different events planned each day!
Sugar Belle: How is it living in a castle?
Double Diamond: It is so good to see you!
Trixie: [mock-whisper] Oh, yeah. These ponies are terrifying. [giggles]
Starlight Glimmer: [small groan] It's good to see all of you, too.
Party Favor: You got here just in time. We were having some debate about these banners. Which do you think feels more "sunsetty"?
Starlight Glimmer: O-Oh, you don't need me to decide that. Heh. Whatever you think is probably best.
Double Diamond: Uh, well, how about helping us with the routes for the relay races tomorrow? Can you take a look?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I-I shouldn't. You all go ahead. I-I just want to enjoy the festival.
Sugar Belle: But you will be a judge for the baking competition, right?
Double Diamond: We had a few questions about the order of the acts for the talent show.
Night Glider: And the unicorns have a fireworks show planned! We could really use your help!
[villagers chattering loudly]
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: No! [trembling]
[villagers gasping]
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to thank you all for being such an amazing audience. Sadly, it is time for us to depart. Good night, fillies and gentlefoals!
[bamf]
[villagers coughing]
[villagers shocked muttering]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! I was horrible when I led that town! I was ready for them to not trust me, but... I wasn't ready for them to put me in charge again! With my past, I should never be in charge of anything!
Trixie: So you messed up. Big deal. [hushed] Don't you ever tell another pony I said this, but even Trixie's made mistakes. [giggles] I know! The trick is to just move on and pretend they never happened.
Starlight Glimmer: I feel like that's almost good advice.
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, uh, Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Hey... [beat] you!
Starlight Glimmer: So... you're probably wondering why I'm back so soon.
Pinkie Pie: Where were you?
Starlight Glimmer: I... went to my old village? For the festival?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, sounds fun! How was it?
Starlight Glimmer: It was kind of a disaster. I came back early because I freaked out!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, sounds awful! Bye!
Starlight Glimmer: That was... strange.
Trixie: Isn't she always strange?
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, but not like that. Hey! I'm back early.
Rarity: Ah. Welcome back?
Starlight Glimmer: Have you two noticed Pinkie acting a little strange?
Applejack: Pinkie Pie always acts strange.
Trixie: Told you.
Starlight Glimmer: Anyway, I wanted to talk to all of you. Things didn't go the way I thought they were going to go at the Sunset Festival.
Rarity: What happened?
Starlight Glimmer: I kind of freaked out and ran out of the village.
Applejack and Rarity: [laughing]
Applejack: You freaked out and ran away from a festival? Ha! That's the funniest danged thing I've heard all day.
Rarity: [laughing] Oh my. Let me guess. The decorations were terrifying!
Applejack and Rarity: [inconsiderate laughter]
Fluttershy: [whispering] ...Applejack for friendship business.
Rainbow Dash: Hello, ponies. We need Rarity and Applejack. Very important friendship business.
Trixie: I have to say, I'm really not as impressed with your friends as the rest of Equestria is.
Starlight Glimmer: I need to talk to Twilight!
[door creaking]
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight? Hello?
Spike: What do you want? Twilight's very busy!
Starlight Glimmer: Spike, I really need to speak with her.
Spike: Make an appointment! She's a princess, after all!
[hatch slams]
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: What's wrong with you? Why are you being so—
Twilight Sparkle: Rude? I think a certain dragon didn't get his nap today.
Spike: Yeah, right. Whatever.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. He's been acting a little off all day. I think he missed a meal or something.
Starlight Glimmer: He's not the only one. Everypony's acting a little strange today.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, it's definitely been one of those days! How are you?
Starlight Glimmer: Not great, actually. You're probably wondering why I'm back from the village so early.
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't want to bring it up, but yeah, it did seem strange. Did it not go well?
Starlight Glimmer: The townsponies kept asking me things, like they expected me to be in charge again. But being a leader is the last thing I should ever be. So we left. Very suddenly. In a literal puff of smoke.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, you should definitely never go back to that village.
Starlight Glimmer: What?
Twilight Sparkle: If you were worried about what they thought of you before, it's probably way worse now. I'd cut my losses.
Starlight Glimmer: That's... surprising advice, coming from you.
Twilight Sparkle: Trust me. I'm the Princess of Friendship. You don't need those ponies. You can always make more friends.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Speaking of friends, if you'll excuse me, important business to attend to!
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: Cut my losses? That can't be right.
[tumbleweeds rolling]
[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. Party Favor, can you hear me?
Twilight Sparkle: I told you you can never speak to them again!
Starlight Glimmer: What are you all doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: Making sure you do what I said! I'm your teacher, aren't I? Didn't I say to never come back here?!
Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but that just doesn't seem right. You aren't acting like yourself.
Starlight Glimmer and Princess Luna: Something is wrong!
[wind blows]
Starlight Glimmer: A dream? This is another dream!
Princess Luna: [whispering] Starlight Glimmer...!
Starlight Glimmer: Princess Luna?
Princess Luna: Starlight Glimmer!
Starlight Glimmer: Princess Luna, where are you?
Princess Luna: Starlight Glimmer, there is no time! You must get help!
Starlight Glimmer: What? What are you talking about? This is just a dream!
Princess Luna: Not here! In the waking world! They've taken my sister and I! It's worse than the last time! Your dream called to me, and I was able to break through! You must find help!
Starlight Glimmer: What are you saying?! Who's taken you?!
Princess Luna: Be careful who you trust! You need all the help you can find! The changelings have returned and— [gasps]
Starlight Glimmer: Princess Luna!
Starlight Glimmer: [panting] They're back!
[bushes rustling]
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie? Trixie, it's Starlight! Are you awake?
Trixie: [muffled, bleary] Of course, Princess Celestia... I'd love to perform for peanut butter crackers...
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, wake up!
[fireworks exploding]
Trixie: [coughing] [tired] Starlight? What time is it?
Starlight Glimmer: It's late. I think I figured out what's wrong with my friends!
Trixie: [yawning] I have a whole list of things that are wrong with your friends. We can go over it in the morning.
Starlight Glimmer: No, Trixie, we're in danger!
[door opens]
Trixie: [sighs] Okay, fine! Aside from lack of sleep, how are we in danger?
Starlight Glimmer: I think the—! [beat] What did you tell me never to tell another pony?
Trixie: Starlight, if you woke me up to play guessing games—
Starlight Glimmer: After we left my village, what did you tell me to never tell another pony you said?
Trixie: [sighs] [through very gritted teeth] That even Trixie's made mistakes.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, there's no time for this! What did you say?
Trixie: That even Trixie's made mistakes! Okay? Are you happy?!
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Yes. Sorry. I just had to make sure you weren't... [hushed] one of them!
Trixie: [hushed] One of who?
Starlight Glimmer: A changeling! I think they've taken Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!
Trixie: What?! Are you sure?! I mean, what do we—? We have to tell Twilight!
Starlight Glimmer: If I'm right, then it's too late for that.
Main cast: [unintelligible mutterings]
[thwack]
Spike: [yelps]
[thwack]
Spike: [groans]
Rarity: [inconsiderate laughter]
Twilight Sparkle: Is it ready?
Applejack: Just one more.
[magic energy crackling]
Starlight Glimmer: Queen Chrysalis!
Queen Chrysalis: Ugh. I can't take any of you seriously when you look like that.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, right.
[changeling transforming zaps]
Queen Chrysalis: Much better. Now report!
Changeling: Everything here is going according to plan! We've replaced the six ponies and their dragon, and have taken control of the castle!
Queen Chrysalis: Excellent. And I've just received word that the princesses from Canterlot have successfully been replaced as well.
Changelings: [laughing]
Queen Chrysalis: We thought too small last time. One ponynapped princess wasn't enough. With all the most beloved ponies of Equestria taken care of, nopony can stop us! [evil laughter]
Changelings: [laughing]
[door creaks]
Changelings: [hissing]
[changeling transforming zaps]
[door slams opens]
Changeling Twilight: [as Twilight] [sniffing]
Trixie: [gasps for breath]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
Trixie: [panting] I can't deal with this! I'm just a performer! This is... This is princess-level stuff! But the changelings have all the princesses... We're doomed!
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe not. Uh, Queen Chrysalis only said they took Luna and Celestia and obviously Twilight and the others... but maybe Cadance is still safe. Our best bet is to get to the Crystal Empire before the changelings do. That way we can—
Thorax: There's no help coming from the Crystal Empire.
Trixie: [shrieks]
Starlight Glimmer: Thorax?
Thorax: Yes.
Starlight Glimmer: Your wings look... different.
Thorax: I guess they do.
Starlight Glimmer: How do I know you aren't some other changeling pretending to be Thorax?
Thorax: You were there when Spike defended me to the ponies of the Crystal Empire. Princess Twilight said—
[changeling transforming zap]
Thorax: As the Princess of Friendship, I should set an example for all of Equestria. But today it was Spike who taught me—
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, okay. I believe you. We don't need the whole speech.
[changeling transforming zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, this is Thorax. He's a reformed changeling. He's on our side. Understand?
[pop]
Thorax: Hi. It's a pleasure to...
Trixie: If Starlight says you're on our side, I believe her. But maybe just stay over there for now, okay?
Starlight Glimmer: What did you mean there's no help? Did the changelings get Cadance too?
Thorax: They took Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart! Sunburst sent me here to get Princess Twilight's help, but... but it sounds like it's too late for that, too! So... what should we do?
Trixie: Yeah, Starlight. What are we gonna do?
Starlight Glimmer: I... I don't know! There has to be somepony else who can handle this?
Trixie: There is nopony else! Everypony with powerful magic is already gone!
Discord: You know whenever ponies talk about powerful magic, they always leave me out. If I weren't so evolved, I might decide to take it personally. Well, isn't this quite the combination of secondary characters? Where are Twilight and the girls?
Starlight Glimmer: First, how do we know that you're really you?
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[magic zaps]
[splash]
Discord: Shall I continue?
Starlight Glimmer: Chrysalis and the changelings are back. They've ponynapped all of the most powerful ponies in Equestria! Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, Flurry Heart, Twilight and her friends. We need to—
[magic zap]
Discord: [hushed] They took Fluttershy?
Starlight Glimmer: Yes!
Discord: [menacingly] Where?
Starlight Glimmer: The Changeling Kingdom. With you on our side, I can—
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[magic zap]
[magic zap]
Discord: Odd. I was trying to take us right to Fluttershy, but there is no Fluttershy.
[crunch]
Trixie: [whimpers] I think I have a pretty good idea where she might be...
Thorax: I'd hoped never to see that place again. Now what?
[to be continued]
[credits]

To Where and Back Again - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Starlight Glimmer: It's... the ponies from my old village.
Village ponies: [increasingly deranged laughter]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. It's only a dream.
Starlight Glimmer: With my past, I should never be in charge of anything!
Princess Luna: They've taken my sister and I! It's worse than the last time!
Starlight Glimmer: Chrysalis and the changelings are back. They've ponynapped all of the most powerful ponies in Equestria!
Starlight Glimmer: ...this is Thorax. He's a reformed changeling.
Discord: [hushed] They took Fluttershy?
Trixie: [whimpers] I think I have a pretty good idea where she might be...
[theme song]
Discord: Oh, this is so strange. We're here and that's there, and I clearly meant for us to be there and not here.
Thorax: Oh, I-I can probably explain—
Discord: Oh, well. If at first you don't succeed...
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe we should come up with a plan first?
Discord: [blows] A what?
Trixie: You know, figuring out the best way to do something before you actually do it.
Discord: [laughs] Oh, that's adorable. But you see, unlike you, I can do anything.
Thorax: Uh, actually—
Discord: That's all very nice, but really a waste of time. We have me. And what else could we possibly need?
Trixie: A draconequus with magic and half a brain might help.
Discord: Why are you here again? I mean, it's not like you're going to stop the changelings by pulling a rabbit out of a hat. At least my magic can do something.
Thorax: The thing about magic here is—
Discord: Like this! [snaps] For Fluttershy! Yaaah! [snaps]
Pigasus: [oinks]
Thorax: I've been trying to tell you! Nothing other than changeling magic works here. Chrysalis' throne is carved from an ancient dark stone that soaks up outside magic the same way changelings soak up love. It's how she keeps the hive safe.
[magic fizzles]
Trixie: [to Starlight] So, uh, what kind of plan were you thinking?
Starlight Glimmer: Without magic, I have no idea. But nopony else is coming. So somepony better come up with something.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Anypony? Anything? Hmm. This throne – if we get into the hive and destroy it, can we get our magic back?
Thorax: Uh-huh!
Discord: Well, that's a terrible plan. How are we even supposed to get to the hive?
Trixie: We walk.
Discord: I haven't walked that far in a millennia!
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [groan]
Discord: Oh, I don't know how any of you manage not being able to disappear and reappear whenever you want!
Trixie: Well, I, for one, definitely miss you being able to disappear!
Starlight Glimmer: Give Discord a break. None of us knew we weren't going to be able to use magic.
Thorax: I did.
Starlight Glimmer: If we get separated, it might make sense to have a way to make sure we are who we say we are.
Discord: Oh! Like a secret code! How about if I say "we are" and you say "doomed"? Or you say "rescue" and I say... [flails]
Trixie: How about if we say "klutzy" and you say "draconequus"?
Starlight Glimmer: "Klutzy draconequus". Works for me.
Thorax: I'll definitely remember it.
Trixie: Okay. I am definitely glad you came. I don't think we'd be able to find our way without you.
Thorax: You definitely wouldn't.
[rock creaking]
Trixie: Um, where's the way out?
Thorax: It's a changeling hive. It shifts and changes like we do, and we're the only ones who can navigate it. It's total chaos to non-changelings.
Discord: Well, it's decent chaos. I don't know if I'd call it "total".
Discord: Are we sure that I'll get my magic back when we destroy this throne thingy?
Starlight Glimmer: If Thorax is right, then yes.
Discord: [sarcastic] Well, that's reassuring.
Trixie: And how are we supposed to destroy the throne when we find it?
Starlight Glimmer: I... don't know.
Trixie: [sarcastic] That's reassuring.
[rustling]
Discord: I don't suppose you brought any throne-destroying tools along with these useless sideshow props.
Trixie: Asks the Lord of Chaos who can't go for a walk without whining nonstop!
Discord: Yes, but when the throne is destroyed, I'll be able to rip the very fabric of reality to save our friends, while you'll still be a self-absorbed, below-average illusionist!
Trixie: Self-absorbed?! Why, you...!
Starlight Glimmer: Cut. It. Out! I'm just barely keeping it together, and it would be wonderful if you two could actually try to help instead of bickering like foals!
Discord: [defeated] Okay.
Trixie: How can we help?
Starlight Glimmer: Don't ask me! I couldn't even handle giving advice at the Sunset Festival, and I had magic then! And the three of us are as good as useless! At least Thorax knows where we're going.
Thorax: Um, guys? I think we're lost.
Trixie: Oh, great. We might as well just sit here and wait for the changelings to soak up all of our love or whatever gross thing it is that they do. How often do you all get hungry?
Thorax: Actually, I haven't been since I met Spike. And changelings are always hungry. We can never get enough love.
Trixie: Well, that's just super—
Starlight Glimmer: But you aren't hungry at all now?
Thorax: Huh. Once I made a few friends, I guess I just sort of forgot about the whole feeding thing.
Starlight Glimmer: Is that about the same time your wings changed?
Thorax: I guess so.
Discord: [yawns] While I would love to sit around chitchatting about feeding and not feeding, [echoing] I have a Fluttershy to save! [echoes]
[changelings hissing]
Trixie: [hushed] Can you please lower your voice?! You're gonna get us all captured!
Discord: Oh, you keep saying that, but I haven't seen an actual changeling since we got into this hive.
[distant humming]
Trixie: W-What's that?
Thorax: A changeling patrol!
[changeling screeches]
Thorax: [hyperventilating]
Discord: This seems like one of those moments where we need a plan.
Trixie: What kind of plan?! We have no magic, and it's not like my illusions are gonna save us!
Starlight Glimmer: Do you have any of your smoke bombs?
Trixie: Are you kidding?
[changelings' wings buzzing]
Thorax: Looking for somepony?
[changelings screech]
Thorax: Is that the best you've got?! [laughing]
[various poofs]
Discord: Not exactly great and powerful, but effective.
Trixie: Hm. I'll take it.
Starlight Glimmer: "Klutzy"...
Trixie and Thorax: ..."draconequus"!
[transformation zap]
Discord: Ugh. I really think we need a new code word!
Thorax: That was a pretty good plan.
Trixie: But we still don't know where we're going.
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, we might. Two of the changelings didn't go with the rest.
Thorax: Oh! With an intruder in the hive, they went to protect the queen! Good thinking, Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: [embarrassed laugh]
[changelings' wings buzzing]
Trixie: Now what?
Starlight Glimmer: We... go in.
Thorax: Even if I wanted to, there's no way past the guards. We'll be spotted for sure.
Starlight Glimmer: We need some kind of... distraction.
Trixie: I'm fresh out of smoke bombs.
Discord: Normally, I'm the most distracting thing I can think of, but without magic...
Starlight Glimmer: You shouldn't underestimate yourself.
[doors closing]
Discord: [taps microphone] Hello, changelings and changelettes! Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are that I'm here! When I heard that I'd be playing for a bunch of changelings, I was beside myself! Then I realized, it was just one of you.
[rimshot]
[changelings snarl]
Discord: [nervous laugh] But, seriously, this isn't the toughest crowd I've ever been in front of. But it's definitely the easiest to bug!
[rimshot]
Discord: "To bug"? Is this thing on? [taps microphone]
[changelings snarl]
Discord: Well, if you think that you can do any better, be my guest!
[microphone feedback]
[changelings' wings buzzing]
Trixie: It is absolutely ridiculous that that worked.
[changelings' wings buzzing]
Discord: It is certainly a pleasure to have such dedicated fans. I'll have to come back with some new material after I rescue Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: [whimpers] Please, help! [whimpers]
Discord: Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Discord! I'm stuck!
Discord: You certainly are. And I should probably help you get free. But... oh-ho-ho-ho-ho...
Fluttershy: But what?
Discord: But you are obviously not Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Oh.
Discord: I mean, I'm separated from the group and just happen to come across the one pony I care most about? I can smell this setup a mile away.
Fluttershy: [sniffs, crying] No. You're right. There's no way you should trust me. Just go find the others. [wailing] I understand!
Discord: Oh, come on!
Fluttershys: [crying]
Fluttershy #1: We're probably all changelings. You shouldn't rescue any of us. Unless, you think, maybe one of us might be the real Fluttershy. Oh, that certainly would be a nasty changeling trick, wouldn't it?
Fluttershys: [crying]
Fluttershy #2: I'm the real one.
Fluttershy #3: I'm the real one.
Fluttershy #4: I'm the real Fluttershy.
Thorax: We can't wait for Discord. Between seeing him and Trixie, the castle will be crawling with guards soon.
Starlight Glimmer: But if we do manage to destroy Chrysalis' throne, we'll need him. He could take on the entire changeling army by sneezing if he wanted to.
Trixie: He's probably already been captured!
Changeling: Hello? Fellow rescuers?
Thorax: We can't stay here. We gotta find the throne.
Changeling: Ooh! I heard some of the changelings who were chasing me say that they know where it is!
Trixie: "Klutzy"...?
Changeling: Hmm? Oh. Yeah. [chuckling] I-I can be klutzy. Now, follow me.
Starlight Glimmer: [whispering] You know that's not Discord, right?
Trixie: Obviously.
Changeling: This way! We're almost there!
Thorax: I know this trick. If he says to go left, we should definitely go right. He's leading us to a swarm waiting to attack!
Trixie: [sighs] Okay, I'll handle it. You two just get ready to run into the other tunnel.
Starlight Glimmer: Wait, what?! Trixie, you can't! I won't know what to do! We've already lost Discord; I can't lose you too! Without magic, I—
Trixie: Starlight. You got us this far with just my illusions and Discord's annoying personality. You don't need magic to figure out what to do next. I know you're afraid to be in charge, but you are really good at it! Listen to your best friend. Hey, Discord! Want to see the new trick I've been working on? I call it the "Changeling Catcher"! Run!
[transformation zap]
[changeling hisses]
[changelings hissing]
Trixie: [nervously] Ta-da...
[changelings screech]
Starlight Glimmer and Thorax: [panting]
[changelings' wings buzzing]
[splat]
Queen Chrysalis: [laughing evilly] One little pony all by herself. [joints cracking] Oh, how will I ever prevent this daring rescue?
[changelings screech]
[changelings hiss]
Queen Chrysalis: Well, well, well. The Princess of Friendship's sole pupil. Honestly, I didn't think you were worth replacing with one of my drones.
Thorax: [strains] You won't get away with this!
Queen Chrysalis: I already have. Nopony is coming to save you. Your little squad was it. And now, there's just you.
Thorax: Thorax is still out there.
Queen Chrysalis: Don't mention that traitor's name in my kingdom! He was a fool to leave and even more a fool to return! When I find him, he'll learn just what happens to those who betray the hive!
Thorax: [whimpers]
Queen Chrysalis: And it seems I don't have far to look, do I...
Thorax: [whimpers]
[transformation zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Thorax?
[changelings hiss]
[pounding]
Starlight Glimmer: [whimpers]
[zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Very clever. And clearly Thorax revealed to you the secret of my throne. I can't have powerful ponies using their abilities against me. Even with your rather embarrassing little rescue attempt, everything has gone according to my plan.
Starlight Glimmer: What plan? Why did you do all this?!
Queen Chrysalis: So I could feed, of course! By replacing the most beloved figures in Equestria, my drones will be able to store all the love meant for them and return it here to me. Everypony will do as I command, and my subjects and I will feed on their love for generations! [maniacal laughter]
[changelings hissing]
Starlight Glimmer: What if you didn't have to?
Queen Chrysalis: Ridiculous! The hunger of changelings can never be satisfied!
Starlight Glimmer: Exactly! Thorax left the hive and made a friend. He shared love, and now he doesn't need to feed. You don't have to live your lives starving all the time!
Queen Chrysalis: You know nothing of the changelings or what it takes to be their queen! I decide what is best for my subjects, not some mewling grub!
Starlight Glimmer: I know what it's like to lead by fear and intimidation! And I know what it's like to want everypony to do what you say! But I was wrong. A real leader doesn't force her subjects to deny who they are! She celebrates what makes them unique and listens when one of them finds a better way!
Queen Chrysalis: The only thing Thorax has found is what happens to those who turn their back on the hive!
[dark magic]
Starlight Glimmer: No! Stop!
Queen Chrysalis: Just as soon as I drain every last ounce of love from him and show my subjects what a real leader is!
Thorax: [straining] I can feel the love inside me slipping away...! I can't hold onto it much longer...!
Starlight Glimmer: Then don't! Sharing love is what made you different to begin with! You should share yours with Chrysalis! Give her all of it!
[magic blasts]
Starlight Glimmer: This is what happens when you give love freely instead of taking it!
[transformation sounds]
[kaboom!]
[music]
Discord: Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: It's, um, good to see you, too.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? What happened?
Starlight Glimmer: We defeated the changelings with no magic at all, they found a new leader, and... they're all kinda... good now.
Princess Luna: Well done, Starlight Glimmer. It seems as though you've learned a great deal since we last spoke.
[rubble moving]
Queen Chrysalis: [hissing]
[triumphant music]
Starlight Glimmer: When Twilight and her friends defeated me, I chose to run away and seek revenge! You don't have to! You can be the leader your subjects deserve.
[wind rustling]
[smack!]
Queen Chrysalis: There is no revenge you could ever conceive of that will come close to what I will exact upon you one day, Starlight Glimmer!
Princess Celestia: Thorax, as the new leader of the changelings, I look forward to discussing how we can improve our relationship in the future. However, for the moment, perhaps it is best that we leave the Changeling Kingdom to the changelings.
Discord: Splendid idea! Now who's ready for some celebratory tea at Fluttershy's?!
Fluttershy: Oh! Uh, everypony?
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, now that you can snap your claws and send us absolutely anywhere again, I think I have a better option.
Party Favor: Uh, hey, Starlight. What are you doing here?
Double Diamond: You left in such a hurry before, we kinda thought you didn't wanna come.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah... I guess after the way I used my magic on all of you, I wasn't sure I was somepony who should even be in charge of a baking contest. I was afraid I might go back to being the pony I used to be. But I realize that sometimes you don't have a choice. You have to step up. And I have changed! I can handle it. Whether that means saving Equestria or helping friends out with the Sunset Festival. Speaking of which, I know the Festival's almost over, but I kinda invited a few of my friends to join. Hope that's okay.
Double Diamond: [laughing] Are you kidding? Of course!
Starlight Glimmer: Great! Now where's that baking contest? This pony needs a cupcake!
Discord: So I'm able to rip the very fabric of reality again.
Trixie: Yeah, yeah. And I'm still a self-absorbed, below-average illusionist, right?
Discord: Actually, I was going to say a couple of those illusions were slightly above average. If you ever need a little chaos in your act, let me know.
Trixie: Ha! When pigs fly!
Discord: Your wish is my command! [snaps]
Pigasus: [squealing]
Trixie: Whoa! Whoooooaaaa!
Rainbow Dash: Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.
[credits]

Celestial Advice

[knock, knock, knock]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, Spike. What's up?
Spike: Just, uh, wanted to make sure you're ready for your big ceremony today.
Starlight Glimmer: Yep!
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Wow, I still can't believe my friends and I are getting medals...
Twilight Sparkle: Shhh!
Starlight Glimmer: ...of honor.
Spike: Are you kidding? You totally deserve it! After all, you... saved Equestria from... Queen Chrysalis! With the help of Trixie and Thorax and Discord and...
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, yeah. I know what happened. I was kinda there.
Spike: Uh, right. Uh, so... what are you wearin'?
Starlight Glimmer: Not sure. Why? Am I supposed to dress up?
Spike: No! I-I mean, you could. It's like Rarity always says... [imitating Rarity] "There's no such thing as overdressed, darling. You're just the best-looking pony in the room." [chuckles]
Starlight Glimmer: What are you looking at?
Spike: No, don't look!
[teleportation zap]
Spike: 'Cause there was a spider there, but it's, uh, gone now, so, uh... thanks, Starlight! Byeeee!
[zip]
Starlight Glimmer: Huh?
[door closes]
Spike: Ha-ha! She had no idea. We're a good team, Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: "Sparkle"? [laughs] Yeah, we are. So do you think she'll like it? I want this present to say, "I'm so proud of you both as a mentor and a friend. Equestria is safer thanks to you."
Spike: Oh. I thought you were getting her a mirror like yours.
Twilight Sparkle: I am.
Spike: Uh, maybe you should get her a card 'cause I don't think the mirror will say all that. But I think she'll like it.
Twilight Sparkle: It's just what her room needs. The first thing she'll see when she wakes up is herself surrounded by all her friends. I plan on giving it to her after the ceremony.
Spike: Yeah, about that. Don't you need to get the castle ready for the celebration?
Twilight Sparkle: Nah. Pinkie Pie's got that covered.
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm.
[party cannon squeak]
Pinkie Pie: Phew!
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, Trixie, Thorax, and Discord were brave in the face of danger, resourceful when things got challenging, and proved that the bonds of friendship, no matter how unlikely, are stronger than any adversity. By stopping Queen Chrysalis, not only did they save Equestria; they set the changelings free from her reign.
[zap]
Discord: Go, Discord! Yahoo! [laughs]
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles]
Princess Celestia: And that's why we're proud and honored to give them the Equestrian Pink Hearts of Courage!
[cheers and applause]
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Oh. Uh, no. Not quite. Uh... all right. There it is!
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: Yay!
Twilight Sparkle: We are so proud of you all!
[cheers and applause]
[house music playing]
Trixie: It was the Great and Powerful Trrrrixie's pleasure to save you from your imminent doom.
Discord: Yes, because you did it all by yourself.
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles]
Sunburst: I can't believe you managed to do it without magic.
Changeling: It was amazing!
Changeling: No one's ever stood up to Chrysalis like that!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I just did what anypony would have done.
Princess Celestia: It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? Watching your student shine the way you always knew they could.
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] My cheeks are sore! I don't think I've ever smiled this much in my life!
Princess Celestia: I can only imagine what that feels like.
Discord: Yes, Starlight is student of the year, isn't she? She has so much potential. So, what are we going to do with her? And by "we", I definitely mean "you". Being her mentor and all that, her destiny falls squarely on your haunches.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, don't you worry. I've planned enough friendship lessons to cover the next three years.
Discord: [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: What's so funny?
Discord: No, no. Clearly, Starlight is beyond basic friendship lessons. She just won a medal, for Equestria's sake. I thought you were joking. You are joking, right?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh] Of course I was.
Discord: Obviously, you should have a grand master plan for her, the same way Celestia set you on the path that eventually made you a princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Yep.
Discord: Oh, good. I'm sure she can't wait to hear all about it.
[zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous noise]
Starlight Glimmer: So how's the whole ruling-a-kingdom thing going?
Thorax: It's a bit overwhelming. But we're adjusting.
Changeling Girl: So, uh, you can't have friendship without makeovers?
Applejack: Eh, not-not exactly.
Discord: Oh, Starlight. Princess Twilight has something very important to tell us. Well, just you, really, but I'm nosy and I want to hear.
Starlight Glimmer: Okay. Would you excuse m—?
[zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Never mind. What's going on?
Discord: Well, Twilight was just about to reveal her grand master plan for you.
Starlight Glimmer: Really? I was kind of wondering what we were gonna do next.
Discord: Yes. I'd say we were both fairly interested.
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous] Of course you are. And I do have a plan, obviously. But now is clearly not the time to do it. You should enjoy your party. [sips punch]
Trixie: Starlight, come on! The Ponyville Chronicle wants to take our picture! Ugh. You, too, Discord.
Twilight Sparkle: [sipping punch, sighs]
[zap]
Discord: Psst! I see what you're doing.
Twilight Sparkle: You do?
Discord: You already planned the perfect moment during the party to make the grand announcement to everypony about your plan. Brava, Twilight! I can't wait to tell your plan to Fluttershy and the others!
[zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Discord, no!
[door creaks]
Spike: Twilight, are you reading during a party... again?
[papers rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no! She's already good at that! She mastered this! She taught me about this one!
Spike: Wild guess – something's wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I'm a terrible mentor! Why didn't I come up with a path for Starlight? Princess Celestia had it all figured out for me! [gasps] That's it! [excited squeal]
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: I had years worth of friendship lessons ready to go, but when we were captured by Chrysalis, Starlight took charge and really stepped up. I don't think friendship lessons are enough for her anymore.
Princess Celestia: So you have an overachieving student. Sounds familiar.
Spike: [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: That's why I had to talk to you. You, of all ponies, would know what to do. I mean, you were me and I was Starlight. But, for now, I need you to pretend you're you and I'm me.
Spike: Huh?
Princess Celestia: Heh. Go on.
Twilight Sparkle: When I was your student, and you were in this place, you— Oh, no! You sent me to Ponyville! Which means it's time for me to send Starlight Glimmer away!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it! It's really time for Starlight to go, isn't it?
Princess Celestia: Only you can make that decision. It's a difficult one, but your heart knows what's right, even as it hurts.
Spike: Where're you gonna send her? Uh, too soon?
Twilight Sparkle: No. This is something I have to do. Oh, boy.
Fluttershy: Oh, boy!
Discord: Whatever Twilight's planning for Starlight is going to be so exciting!
Applejack: Hmm. Wonder why she didn't tell any of us about it.
Discord: Probably because you're not as close as you think you are. [laughs] Just kidding. She wanted it to be a big surprise. Just between us, she's getting ready to make a big announcement!
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] That's so exciting! And surprising. Usually, you tell your party planner about all your plans for your party.
Rainbow Dash: Well, she definitely has one. I mean when has Twilight not had a plan?
Twilight Sparkle: [low muttering] Gosh, I don't know... I just don't want to send her to the wrong place... [sighs] I just, I just don't know... [gasps] I got it! Since defeating Chrysalis, Starlight's given the changelings an opportunity to revolutionize their society. Maybe I can send her there.
[magic sounds]
Spike: Cool spell.
Twilight Sparkle: If Starlight goes to the changeling hive, she can help them adjust to their new way of life.
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, Friendship 101. Thorax and I are going to show you how to compromise.
Thorax: [stiltedly] I want to have honeysuckle nectar for lunch.
Starlight Glimmer: [stiltedly] I would like a sandwich. Oh, no. What should we do?
Changeling 1: Attack! The winner gets to choose!
[changelings clamoring in agreement]
Starlight Glimmer: Or... Thorax and I can talk about it and come up with a solution that works for everypony.
Thorax: [stiltedly] Starlight, how do you feel about honeysuckle and peanut butter sandwiches?
Starlight Glimmer: [stiltedly] Why, that sounds dee-licious!
Starlight Glimmer and Thorax: Compromise.
[changelings clamoring in agreement]
Spike: Uh, this doesn't seem like something Starlight and Thorax would do.
Princess Celestia: Uh, this is Twilight's fantasy, Spike. There is no wrong way to fantasize.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you.
Changeling 1: Starlight Glimmer is a most apt and perspicacious pony!
Spike: Yep. Definitely a Twilight fantasy.
Princess Celestia: This seems like a lovely path for Starlight. The changelings have so much to learn about how to enjoy love through friendships. Starlight would be busy for a very long time, but her work there would be very rewarding.
Twilight Sparkle: Or dangerous. It would only take one changeling to deviate from the pack.
[transformation noise]
Goofy Changeling: [evil laugh] Hi, I'm Starlight Glimmer! What's your name?
Cornicle: Uh, Cornicle?
Goofy Changeling: [laughs] What kind of name is that? Ah, your wings are so, um... see-through. I'm so glad I'm a pony. Are you, like, bugs, or what?
[zap]
[swat, swat, swat]
Cornicle: [gasps] There she is! Get her!
[changelings clamoring angrily]
Spike: Uh, that probably won't happen.
Twilight Sparkle: But it could! I can't just send her off to Celestia-knows-where without thinking it through!
Princess Celestia: Hmm. I was not aware that I was an expression. An appropriate one, of course, for even I don't know the answer. This is a momentous decision. You must consider all the possibilities.
Twilight Sparkle: Rethink, rethink, rethink! What about the dragons? I can send Starlight to the Dragon Lands! She and Ember would totally hit it off!
[magic sounds]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Ember!
Princess Ember: Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer and Princess Ember: [grunt]
Princess Ember: You ready to do some death-defying dragon stuff?
Starlight Glimmer: Ah, totally!
Spike: Okay, that doesn't sound anything like Ember or Starlight.
Twilight Sparkle: Who knows what their dynamic would be, Spike?
[zaps and torches]
Spike: [gasps]
[tap, tap]
Spike: Freaky.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight will love it in the Dragon Lands. In her letters, Ember said dragons do a lot of fun things. The Feast of Fire, the Dragon Bowl, Claw-chella.
Starlight Glimmer: Whoo! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight could be there for a really long time. But then again, not all dragons like ponies as much as Ember does.
Garble: Hey, Twinkle Star!
Starlight Glimmer: It's, uh, Starlight Glimmer.
Garble: Star-kle Light-star?
Starlight Glimmer: Starlight. Glimmer.
Garble: Yeah, whatever. You wanna hang with us?
[whoosh]
Starlight Glimmer: What are we diving into?
Garble: Lava!
Starlight Glimmer: What?!
Spike: Twilight, this is crazy!
[magic sounds]
Spike: Starlight's really good with magic. She could just stop herself from falling into a pit of lava.
Twilight Sparkle: What if she didn't realize it was happening?! You just never know, Spike! I just need to think of someplace safe to send her! Someplace safe, someplace safe, someplace safe... I could send her to the Crystal Empire to continue her magical studies with Sunburst!
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: It'll be perfect! Sunburst's knowledge of magic is only matched by Starlight's abilities.
Sunburst: I've got it! Try placing your horn directly on the potion and picture the clock you wish to make.
[magic noises]
[dong, cuckoo, dong, cuckoo]
Twilight Sparkle: They could challenge each other into becoming the most talented unicorns Equestria's ever seen!
Starlight Glimmer: We did it! Quick, what's next?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, the study of magic is a lifelong pursuit, and Starlight could be there for a while, especially once they start attempting the really complicated stuff!
Spike: Three, two, one...
Twilight Sparkle: What if they become too ambitious?!
Starlight Glimmer: I never would've thought to combine Star Swirl's apparition spell with Spacium Flexibus! But what would happen if we added Somnambula's Tempus Objectus?
Sunburst: If we do it just right, it should allow us to materialize an object that was lost in the past.
[chalk drawing]
Twilight Sparkle: No! Don't do it!
[whoosh!]
Starlight Glimmer: [screams]
Sunburst: [screams]
Starlight Glimmer: [screams]
Sunburst and Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, noooooo!
Spike: Twilight, snap out of it!
[magic sounds]
Spike: Easy, Twilight. It didn't happen.
Twilight Sparkle: But it could! I just don't think I can send her anywhere. What am I gonna do?
Princess Celestia: [laughs heartily]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you laughing at me?
Princess Celestia: [continues laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you're laughing at me.
Princess Celestia: Oh, Twilight, I'm not. I'm laughing because I had the exact same fears you're having.
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Princess Celestia: Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a very bright young filly.
Princess Celestia: [voiceover] She was truly one of my best students.
Spike: [voiceover] Are you talking about Twilight? I can't see what you're thinking about.
Princess Celestia: [voiceover] Yes, Spike. I was constantly surprised and impressed with her discoveries. But I noticed that her pursuit of academia was preventing her from reaching her full potential.
Spike: [voiceover] You mean it was keeping her isolated and alone?
Princess Celestia: [voiceover] Uh, yes, Spike. I had a decision to make. Oh, but it wasn't easy.
Princess Celestia: Maybe I could close the library or throw a party in the castle. Oh, she'd have to talk to the other fillies then! Oh. I must send her away.
Princess Celestia: [voiceover] I knew there was a special group of fillies in Ponyville, but I kept inventing all kinds of reasons why I shouldn't send you.
Princess Celestia: What if she runs into a manticore? Or what if she gets pulled into Tartarus? Or, worst of all, what if she doesn't get along with anypony?!
Guard 1: Are we supposed to say something?
Guard 2: I don't think so.
Princess Celestia: [voiceover] I kept you in Canterlot longer than I should have.
Princess Celestia: Eventually, I realized all the anxiety I felt was because I didn't want you to go.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Princess Celestia: I loved having you as a student. You challenged me and taught me just as much as I taught you. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I was afraid if you made friends, you wouldn't need me anymore.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, that is so not true. I will always need you.
Princess Celestia: I think Starlight Glimmer might feel the same way about you. If that is what you're afraid of.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe it is. Just a little.
Spike: [chuckles] Oh, it definitely is. Like, a lot.
Princess Celestia: Here we are after all these years, Twilight. We are living proof that letting someone spread their wings doesn't mean you no longer have a place in their lives.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you.
Princess Celestia: And if you're still worried, you can always make her write you letters.
Spike: [chuckles]
[ponies conversing]
[spotlight turns on]
[boom mic bump]
Discord: I may have let it slip that you'd be unveiling your big plan for Starlight tonight. Silly me. But we're all very excited to hear what you've cooked up.
[beat]
Discord: You weren't coming up with a plan just now, were you? Oh, dear. This could be pretty embarrassing for you.
Twilight Sparkle: [sarcastically] Gee, thanks, Discord.
Discord: Anytime. I really do love being helpful.
[zap]
[clink, clink, clink]
Twilight Sparkle: If I could have everypony's attention! As you all know, Starlight Glimmer's been my pupil for a while now, and I'd hoped she'd be my pupil for a long time yet to come. But it turns out that's just not meant to be.
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, you have proved yourself to be a kind, loyal, strong, honest, and truly magical friend. Just looking around this room at all the new friendships you've made, I know there's nothing more I need to teach you. So we have a second reason to celebrate today. Three cheers for Starlight Glimmer on her graduation day!
[ponies cheering]
Pinkie Pie: [squeals, giggles] What a great surprise!
Twilight Sparkle: [to Starlight] The future's in your own hooves now.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. I was not expecting this!
Trixie and Thorax: Mmm... [giggles]
Discord: Darn it. I was hoping you would send her to my realm. We could've been roomies. Way to not pick up what I was putting down.
Trixie: How do you want to celebrate? Girls' trip to Las Pegasus?
Thorax: We could throw you a changeling Gorbfest! Uh, it's more fun than it sounds.
[tap, tap]
Discord: Or we could go cause a little mischief. I know a trick that'll turn Celestia's castle into cheese. Do you think it's a "gouda" idea? [laughs] That's just the first of many cheese jokes if we go down this path.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, that all sounds wonderful. But, um, give me a minute, would ya?
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations.
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks.
Twilight Sparkle: So how do you feel?
Starlight Glimmer: Happy, surprised, overwhelmed. I mean, not that I'm not grateful, but are you sure?
Twilight Sparkle: Believe me. I've thought long and hard about this.
Starlight Glimmer: Of course you did.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, trust me. You're ready.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: No, I'm not.
Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about?
Starlight Glimmer: I'm not ready to leave!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good! 'Cause I'm not ready for that either! Here! I got you this present. It was going to be a "congrats on getting a medal of honor" present, but then I was afraid it would have to be a going-away present, but now it's an "I couldn't be happier you're staying" present! It fits perfectly over your dresser! I know. I measured.
Starlight Glimmer: Thank you.
Twilight Sparkle: I may not know what comes next for you, but whatever it is, I promise I'll always be there for you.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
[indistinct conversations]
[whoosh]
[wheeling in]
[vacuum whirring]
Pinkie Pie: Phee-yew!
[end credits]

All Bottled Up

Trixie: Come on, come on! Turn into a teacup!
[magic zap]
Trixie: No! Teacup!
[magic zap]
Trixie: No! Teacup!
[magic zap]
Trixie: [screeching] No! [normally] Oh, Starlight! I can't put a trick that's not working into my act! How come it's not working?
Starlight Glimmer: It could be because you're just yelling "teacup!" and not picturing it in your mind.
Trixie: Oh. Yeah, that could be it.
Starlight Glimmer: What does your teacup look like? What shape is it? What color?
Trixie: [inhales]
[magic zaps]
Trixie: Whoo! Starlight, I did it!
[splurt]
Trixie: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I did it, I did it, I did it! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Starlight Glimmer: Hey!
Trixie: Teacup! [giggles] Teacup! Teacup, teacup, teacup! Tea-cup! Teacup, teacup, tea-cup! You know what you need? A teacup!
[splat]
[teacup poodle yapping]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Trixie: Whoops! I guess I pictured a teacup poodle? Heh.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie! You ruined my teacakes!
Trixie: I just got excited! This is the first time I did a transfiguration spell! Real magic! Come on! Be impressed by me! [as Starlight Glimmer] "Yay, Trixie! You're so great at magic and having good hair!"
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckles] Good job, Trix. But I was baking these to give to Twilight and the girls for their friendship retreat. Pinkie Pie gave me a recipe and everything.
Trixie: Oh! You need some snacks to give to Twilight? I've got you covered. [humming to herself]
[splat]
Trixie: Problem solved.
[magic rumbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [exhales] Not exactly.
[theme song]
[train whistle blows]
Twilight Sparkle: I am so excited for this friendship retreat! I can't remember the last time we all got to hang out without having to save Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Well, we are awesome. But technically, we weren't the last ponies to save Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: I was speaking in a broader sense. Are you sure you don't want to come with us?
Spike: Yeah, I have three new comics to get through.
Starlight Glimmer: And I promised Trixie we'd practice more magic. It might be better if the castle was empty, if you know what I mean.
Trixie: [groans] Relax. If anything breaks, Starlight will just go back in time and fix it!
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous laughter]
Trixie: Kidding.
Starlight Glimmer: We'll take good care of the castle while you're gone.
Trixie: Have fun on your friendship retreat! [hushed, to Starlight] What in Equestria is a friendship retreat, anyway?
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] They're gonna bond, share laughs, and if I know them, they're gonna sing a song.
Trixie: [giggles] We are gonna have so much more fun than them!
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles] Shhh!
Trixie: Twilight, wait! Starlight has something for you!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Starlight Glimmer: [nervously] Here, I, um, brought you snacks...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, how... thoughtful, thanks. We will... not get hungry on the train.
Starlight Glimmer: It was supposed to be teacakes, but... [sighs] it's a long story. Have a great time!
Twilight Sparkle: You, too!
[door shuts]
[train rattling]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, Trixie, what kinds of spells did you want to work on next?
Trixie: Well, every self-respecting magician has a disappearing act, so maybe we could start with that?
Starlight Glimmer: Hmmm. Nothing just disappears, so that's technically a teleportation spell, and those are pretty hard. Maybe we should start with something smaller.
Trixie: No-no-no-no. The Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie goes big or not at all! Just tell me how you do it.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I've always found magic is tied to my emotions. Whatever I'm feeling fuels whatever I'm doing, and the stronger I'm feeling, the stronger the magic.
Trixie: Right. Like when you were so upset that cutie marks took away your friend, your magic was strong enough to enslave an entire village.
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: Yep. Thanks for bringing that up.
Trixie: See? I'm already learning. If anypony is gonna teach me how to do a disappearing spell—
Starlight Glimmer: Teleportation spell.
Trixie: Whatever. I'm complimenting you. And me. We can do this, 'cause we're amazing, and magic is friendship and stuff.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs] I guess we can give it a whirl. Now, we just need to find you something to teleport.
Trixie: Spike! How about it?
Spike: [nervous laugh]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, let's pick something, I don't know, not living?
Trixie: I mean it won't be as impressive, but okay. Teach away, mini-Twilight.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
"Ginger Locks": [bored] Welcome to Manehattan Escapes.
Rarity: Ooh, I'm going to start with a facial, and then get my hooves done, and—
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's not that kind of retreat.
Rarity: Isn't it called "Manehattan Escapes" because it's a deluxe spa where you can escape all of your troubles?
Twilight Sparkle: Nope! It's because we get locked in a room and we have to solve puzzles and riddles in order to escape!
"Ginger Locks": [bored] The clues will lead you to a key to get out.
Twilight Sparkle: Team-building!
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [sighs]
Applejack: Come on, girls. This could be fun.
Twilight Sparkle: Could be? Some of the brightest minds in Equestria put together these puzzles!
Fluttershy: I'm just happy to be with all of you.
Pinkie Pie: Me, too! I'm not great at solving riddles, but I'm super great at cheering other ponies on while they do it! Go, us! Ooo, ooo! Woo-hoo!
Rarity: Yes, yes, woo-hoo. [clears throat] But just so we know, exactly how long will we be locked in here?
"Ginger Locks": [bored] A group of griffons set the record for the fastest escape. It only took them an hour.
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Griffons barely like each other! We're basically the poster ponies for amazing friendships! So get your quill ready, bub! You're gonna have to write down a new record!
Starlight Glimmer: If you master this spell before the girls get back, you'd be setting some kind of record!
Trixie: Challenge accepted!
Starlight Glimmer: Okay. What you want to do is concentrate on the object that you want to teleport...
Spike: Yeah, I'm gonna go... all the way over here.
Trixie: Concentrate on teleporting. Got it. Doin' the spell!
Starlight Glimmer: No, Trix, wait, not just—
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[thud]
Trixie: [weakly] Ta-da.
Starlight Glimmer: [hyperventilating] No-no-no-no-no-no-no! You made Twilight's friendship map disappear!
Trixie: [clears throat] Teleport.
Starlight Glimmer: Really?!
Trixie: Well, it was behind the apple. It was bound to happen. On the plus side, my magic is getting better! I made a whole table go poof! That was pretty impressive!
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, we have to get that map back.
Trixie: We'll find it. No big deal.
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight's never gonna trust me to be alone in this castle again! What were you thinking?!
Trixie: Teleport, like you told me to.
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: No! You're supposed to concentrate on the object, not just teleporting!
Trixie: [scoffs] Well, gee, you probably should have told me all the steps before you let me do the spell.
Starlight Glimmer: I tried. [gasps] I... need a minute.
[dishes clattering]
[door opens]
[crockery shattering]
Spike: Hey, are you okay?
Starlight Glimmer: I will be once I cast a spell to contain my anger in this bottle.
Spike: Wait, what?
Starlight Glimmer: Do you see this storm cloud? This has never happened before! All this magical energy has to go somewhere, and if I'm not using it to fight a magical duel or bend my friends' wills to obey my every command...
Spike: Hah. I remember that.
Starlight Glimmer: The point is, I don't know what my magic's going to do. So I'm hoping if I bottle up my anger, I won't do who-knows-what to Trixie.
Spike: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Starlight Glimmer: What choice do I have? I've got to get that map back, and I don't wanna lose Trixie. If she knew what I was thinking right now, she'd probably never talk to me again.
Spike: Okay... You do what you need to do. I'll see if I can find the map somewhere in the castle.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie!
Trixie: Oh, there you are! For a minute, I didn't think you were coming back, and that you might be upset with me for some weird reason. But then I remembered – you never get mad at me.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [exhales] Nope! [laughs nervously] Not mad at all! So, the map is probably in the last place you were thinking of. Where was that?
Trixie: Ooh, great question. I wish you'd asked it, like, right after I did the spell. I don't remember anymore.
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] No worries. We'll just take a walk around town. Maybe that'll jog your memory.
Trixie: Okay, that sounds fun. Ooh!
Starlight Glimmer: Did you remember?
Trixie: Nope! But I did think we could stop for cinnamon nuts while we're out!
Starlight Glimmer: Cinnamon... nuts?
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: That's a good idea!
Trixie: Yes! I've been craving something sweet since I couldn't have any teacakes this morning.
Starlight Glimmer: [exhales] You got this, Starlight...
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Go, Twilight! you can do it!
[click, rattling]
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Applejack: Hoo-wee! You solved that triangley thing mighty fast! Uh, does anypony need a purple jewel?
Rarity: Ooh! Plum or boysenberry?
Applejack: Don't both those fruits mean purple?
Rarity: Yes, but one's a lovely purple and one's... well, icky.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Just put the gem in! We're trying to set a record here!
[clunking]
Pinkie Pie: [cheer-singing] Yay! We solved another clue, 'cause our friendship is so true! Yaaaay, us! Woo-hoo!
Trixie: [chewing]
"Clarity Cut": Ah, hello, fillies. Uh, how can I help you? Oh, are those cinnamon nuts?
Trixie: Mmm, yes. I got them from the cart outside. They're delicious. Do you want some?
Starlight Glimmer: Have you seen a big table? Magical map on it, sometimes glowing cutie marks shoot out?
"Clarity Cut": [stuttering] A big ta— Uh, no! Uh, why in Equestria would something like that be in here? Ha.
Trixie: Well, I cast a pretty amazing spell that transported it to the last place I was thinking of, but I might have been thinking about how I'd treat myself to a nice brooch instead.
"Clarity Cut": Ah, well, no huge table here. Uh, are you still interested in that brooch?
Trixie: Sure!
Starlight Glimmer: No! We don't have time for this! Twilight and the girls are gonna be back soon!
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: But I'm not upset. What's our next stop?
Granny Smith: Nope, I ain't seen it.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you sure? It's really, really important that we find it. And it might be here because somepony...
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: ...was craving apples.
Trixie: I'm still craving them. They'd go so well with cinnamon nuts!
Granny Smith: [sniffs] Oh, them nuts sure do smell good! Heh-heh.
Starlight Glimmer: Granny Smith, please. The table?
Granny Smith: [confused muttering] Well, my eyes ain't what they used to be, but I'd know for sure if a big ol' table done appeared out of thin air.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
[teapot poodle yapping]
Trixie: Darn. I could've sworn it'd be at the ice cream parlor, because it was warm in the castle and I thought I wanted ice cream, and— Ooh! Maybe we should check out the Crystal Empire, 'cause Twilight's castle is made out of crystals, so I totally had crystals on my mind.
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [tired] Okay, we better start moving if we want to make it to the Crystal Empire.
Trixie: Are you okay, Starlight? Because you seem a little, uh, what's the word... "lch-bh-ba".
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[magic warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [tired] Nope. I am great.
Trixie: Did your saddlebag just glow?
Starlight Glimmer: [weakly] No.
Trixie: Gimme!
Starlight Glimmer: [weakly] No!
Trixie: Give it here!
Starlight Glimmer: [weakly] Don't!
Trixie: What's in this?
Bulk Biceps: Cinnamon nuts!
Granny Smith: Ooh, I have had a hankerin' for these all day!
"Clarity Cut": Uh, me, too! Ever since that Trixie came by with 'em.
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [straining]
[thud]
[slow motion noise]
[shattering]
[dizzy stars]
Trixie: Um, why are they looking at me like that...?
Bulk Biceps: [growling]
Trixie: Whoa!
Granny Smith: You ruined my teacakes!
Trixie: What?! [anxious noises]
"Clarity Cut": You just had to give Twilight those smelly pretzels!
Trixie: Were they your pretzels? I don't understand.
Bulk Biceps: You don't pay attention when I'm trying to teach you!
Trixie: Starlight, can you help me, please?!
Applejack: Uh, Twilight, can you help me, please?
[bricks moving]
Rainbow Dash: I've seen those symbols! Over here!
Pinkie Pie: You can do it!
[clanking]
Rarity: Almost there.
Fluttershy: I've got the key!
Twilight Sparkle: This is it! I'm so impressed.
Rainbow Dash: I'm not. I knew we were the best!
Granny Smith: You're the worst!
Trixie: That seems harsh.
Granny Smith: Hiyaaa!
Trixie: Whoa! Starlight! [panting] I don't know what's happening! Starlight, help!
[magic fizzling]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm glad Twilight isn't here to see this.
Twilight Sparkle: I wish that Starlight was here to see how strong friendships can be when we trust each other and work together! You've all taught me so much.
[Twilight Sparkle]
Friendship used to make me so queasy, queasy
But you made it all so easy, easy
Now I don't have to say what I'm thinking
You already know without even blinking
[Applejack]
You girls are the apple of my eye
[Rainbow Dash]
The race that doesn't end in a tie
[Pinkie Pie]
You are the funnel cake at my fair
[Fluttershy]
The warm hug of a fuzzy bear
[Mane Six]
Best friends until the end of time
We'll have each other's backs
And let our true selves shine
And that's because everything we need is all right here
When we're with our team
Trixie: Starlight! A spark of magic could be very helpful right about now!
Starlight Glimmer: [grunting] I can't...!
[Twilight Sparkle]
I simply can't imagine there'd be a day
Where I wouldn't want to be walking your way
Whatever new problems there may be, may be
Our friendship is always the door with the key
[Rarity]
You are the jewels in my friendship crown
[Twilight Sparkle]
The sparks that make my world go 'round
[Mane Six]
We bring the best out, that's our goal
There's no telling how far we'll go
Best friends until the end of time
We'll have each other's backs
And let our true selves shine
And that's because everything we need is all right here
When we're with our team!
"Ginger Locks": That was lovely. But, um, you know the game isn't over until you turn that key?
[ding]
Rainbow Dash: Gah!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Did we do it?
[buzz]
"Ginger Locks": So close. You missed the griffon record by two seconds. Probably shouldn't have sung that song.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, nuts!
Bulk Biceps: [screaming]
Trixie: Nuts!
[crash]
Bulk Biceps: You just do whatever you want to do!
Trixie: Starlight!
Granny Smith: And you don't always... [pants] ...have to bring up my dark past!
Trixie: I didn't know you had one, Granny Smith!
Granny Smith: [grunts]
"Clarity Cut": Oh! I just can't believe you sometimes! You make me so mad!
Trixie: I barely even know you! I don't understand why you're all so mad at me!
Starlight Glimmer: [weakly] They're not. I am.
[magic warbling and rumbling]
Trixie: You are?
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm really... mad at you. You lost Twilight's map table. You make jokes like it's no big deal. It's like you don't even care you could get me in a lot of trouble. If we can't find that table, Twilight's never going to trust me again, and the worst part is you didn't even say you were sorry!
Trixie: I... I-I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt that way.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah! I do! [sighs] But to be fair, I don't know how you could have known. I did a spell and bottled up my anger, but when the bottle broke, it infected these three. I'm really sorry. I used magic so I wouldn't use magic. I should have guessed that would backfire.
"Clarity Cut": Aw, that's all right. It was a slow day.
Granny Smith: Yeah, I was gonna get my dentures cleaned before y'all showed up.
Bulk Biceps: Ah! Oh, no! My nut cart!
[magic humming]
Bulk Biceps: Yay! My nut cart!
"Clarity Cut": Uh, hang on. Don't you work at the spa?
Bulk Biceps: [gasps] I'm late for my other job! What? I wear many hats.
[cart squeaking]
Trixie: Not gonna lie. Hearing you and those random ponies say all those terrible things about me wasn't easy. But I needed to hear it. Why didn't you just tell me how you felt?
Starlight Glimmer: I didn't want to lose you as a friend.
Trixie: Pfft! Come on! It'd take a lot more than that to lose me. Our friendship is stronger than a few angry words.
Starlight Glimmer: And a magical temper tantrum?
Trixie: Listen, I'd take that over the boring pony you were becoming any day. The Starlight I love is passionate, lively, and yeah, sometimes angry. Those are my favorite parts of you. That and the fact that you forgive me every time.
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles] I'll forgive you if you forgive me.
Trixie: Deal. [gasps] I remembered what I was thinking about!
[bell rings]
Starlight Glimmer: You're kidding me.
Trixie: There's more to it than that. I was thinking about how glad I am to have met you, and I remembered our first meeting – here at the Ponyville spa. And now I just have to teleport it back!
Starlight Glimmer: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
[thud]
Spike: A little to the left. Oh, now rotate it just a hair...
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, girls! How'd it go?
[loud thud]
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [simultaneously] Nothing!
Twilight Sparkle: ...What?
Starlight Glimmer: Let's just say I learned a friendship lesson while you were gone.
Twilight Sparkle: You've barely graduated, and you're already taking initiative! [tearing up] Oh... So proud...
Fluttershy: We learned about team building and problem solving...
Pinkie Pie: And when not to sing songs!
Rarity: We certainly had a good time, but I really was looking forward to a spa day, and the Ponyville spa's still open. Anyone?
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good to me!
Rainbow Dash: [simultaneously] I have a coupon!
Rest of main cast: [simultaneous agreement]
Trixie: We'll meet you there! [to Starlight] Quick! Do you have a spell that will make the spa ponies forget that the map table was there?
Starlight Glimmer: Haven't you learned anything about using magic to solve your problems?
Trixie: No. If we learned that lesson, how will we ever have fun?
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [giggling]
[end credits]

A Flurry of Emotions

Nurse Redheart: Oh, Princess Twilight! Everypony in the hospital is so excited for your visit today!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm never too busy to visit sick foals. I can't believe a whole class just came down with the horsey hives!
Nurse Redheart: On school picture day, too.
[camera clicks]
Nurse Redheart: Oh, the poor dears really do need cheering up.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll do our best. We'll bring snacks, I'll read to them, and get them gifts!
Spike: Food and presents always cheer me up.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: We'll see you soon!
[door closes]
Spike: Okay, if we want to be at the hospital by lunch, then we have three hours to buy get-well presents, borrow a book from the schoolhouse, [sighing] and pick up treats.
Twilight Sparkle: It's a lot, but if we stick to the schedule, I know we can get it all done.
Spike: Yeah, knock on wood.
[knocking]
[door opens]
Shining Armor: Surprise!
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Oh, my gosh! How's my favorite niece?
Shining Armor: [as Flurry Heart] "I'm good! I was hoping my favowite aunt could watch me for a few houwrs."
Princess Cadance: Hope you're not too busy.
Spike: Actually, we kind of are— [suddenly muffled]
Twilight Sparkle: Busy? [scoffs] Would the best aunt ever be too busy to spend time with this adorable little one?
[pause]
Twilight Sparkle: No!
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: [multiple kisses]
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: [blows raspberry] Flurry! I've got a surprise for you!
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: Just a couple of toys that reminded me of Flurry.
[door opens]
[rattling]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm excited to show you I've done some shopping for Flurry Heart.
Princess Cadance: Oh-ho-ho, you're so sweet. You didn't have to do all that.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, but I can't help myself! Best aunt ever! Open this one, Flurry.
Flurry Heart: [baby noise] [giggles] [growls like a bear] [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! They're bears! You're one smart cookie. [making sound effects to elegant music]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[somewhat less elegant music]
[alternating elegant and less elegant music stings]
Shining Armor: We'll just put Flurry's things over here, Twily!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. Totally.
Shining Armor: Mashed peas, her favorite.
Princess Cadance: And diapers. Uh, extra diapers. Oh, and backup extra diapers. Heh.
Shining Armor: Mashed peas, her favorite. Wait, did I say that already?
[thump]
Spike: Uh-huh.
Shining Armor: Oops.
Princess Cadance: Oh, and this is the most important thing of all – her Whammy.
Spike: I take it Flurry named it?
Princess Cadance: Yup. If she gets fussy, just give her the Whammy and she'll calm right down.
Shining Armor: You getting all this, Twily?
Twilight Sparkle: Whammy. Got it. Where are you guys headed, anyway?
Shining Armor: You remember my friend from the royal guard, Spearhead?
[beat]
Spike: Honestly, all of your friends' names are very similar.
Shining Armor: Well, he has a pop-up art show at the Ponyville Cafe, and we decided to go at the last minute.
Princess Cadance: We're not exactly art enthusiasts, but we could really use a night out.
Spike: You mean "day"?
Princess Cadance: That's what I said! Isn't that what I said?
Spike: Mmm... Mm-mm.
Princess Cadance: Either way, are you sure you can watch her?
Spike: Uh-uh-uh!
Twilight Sparkle: Mmmmh...
Flurry Heart: [squeaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Have no fear! The best aunt ever has everything under control!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [kissing]
Shining Armor: Thanks again, Twily.
Spike: Okay, let's grab that Whummy thing and go.
[magic zap]
Flurry Heart: Uh-uh! [growls like a bear]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you want to pretend we're the bears. I suppose we have time for a quick game.
Spike: Do we, though?
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey! All right! [growls like a bear] I'm gonna get ya!
[toy squeaking]
Spike: Ugh! [sighs] You should catch her soon, 'cause we've got lots to do! Horsey-hives-covered foals counting on us, remember?
Twilight Sparkle: Got it! [growls like a bear] I'm catching up!
Flurry Heart: [happy squeals]
Twilight Sparkle: [growls like a bear]
Flurry Heart: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: [roars like a bear]
Flurry Heart: [squeaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-oh. Sorry, bug. Did that scare you? It's okay. It's just Auntie Twily!
Flurry Heart: [blows raspberry] Bleh!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, that was a very advanced spell for somepony your age. Looks like you're already taking after your Auntie Twily.
Spike: All right, that was pretty adorable. But now...
Twilight Sparkle: I know, Spike, we're leaving.
Flurry Heart: [stomach grumbles]
Twilight Sparkle: I just have to feed her real quick.
Flurry Heart: [blows raspberry]
[splat]
Shining Armor: Is this art or... a mistake?
Princess Cadance: I have no idea. But who cares? We're not changing diapers.
Spearhead: Shining Armor! Cadance! How are the new 'rents? Gimme some hoof. Oh, it is so [grunt] good [grunt] to see you dudes! Hey, thanks for coming.
Shining Armor: Of course! We're having a great time! Loving all the... art!
Spearhead: Uh, that's a trash can.
Shining Armor: So it is! I knew that!
Spearhead: But hey, who's to say it's not art? Art can be anything that speaks to you. It changed my world. This is my latest piece – "A Thousand Nights in a Hallway".
Princess Cadance: Wow, I guess nighttime in a hallway can be pretty dark.
Spearhead: [seriously] There is none more dark.
Shining Armor: [baffled] Yeah. Totally.
Princess Cadance: We're just so happy to be here. Usually we're covered in mashed peas by now.
Spike: When they said mashed peas were her favorite...
[splat]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Spike: ...did they mean her favorite thing to decorate a room with?!
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: Aw, come on, Spike. That wasn't too bad.
Spike: Yeah, and we're only twenty minutes behind schedule.
Twilight Sparkle: Twenty minutes?! [exhales] It's fine. We can totally do this.
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: [embarrassed giggle]
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, we just need to grab some toys and we are outta here.
[shopping cart squeaking]
Flurry Heart: [roars like a bear]
Twilight Sparkle: You want to play, don't you? Well, I know a game that's even more fun! [aside to Spike] And more efficient. [to Flurry Heart] Playing race carts! Ha-ha!
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo!
[tires squealing]
Spike: [panting] [out of breath] Hey, nice thinking, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Best aunt ever! Hang on, Flurry. The race cart's taking a pit stop.
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[cart rattling]
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
[thud]
Spike: I'm not a detective, but I think we got a suspect.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?! [sighs] Well, we'd better get to cleaning. We've got no time to waste!
Salespony: Thanks, but they were organized by color.
Twilight Sparkle: [snorts, sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
[tires squealing]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Yes! We gained back a whole five minutes from running here!
Spike: Yeah, but if you add that to the forty minutes we were already behind... we're still... fifty five minutes behind!
[beat]
Spike: I mean... [nervous chuckle] Yay, team?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm!
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for helping us out, Cheerilee. Sorry we were late.
Cheerilee: Oh, no problem. But I gotta say, I'm surprised you came to me for a book. Don't you have a huge collection?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but—
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
[stroller springs squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, one second.
Flurry Heart: [annoyed grunt] [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't think the foals would be interested in The Unabridged History of Amulets in pony Latin.
Cheerilee: Yeah, it was good you came to me. How about the complete collection of Ponyville Fables and Stables?
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm, too long.
Cheerilee: Alien Alicorns vs. Space Pirates?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, the science there is preposterous—
Spike: How about Burnferno, Warrior from Within? It's about a handsome dragon warrior who slays evildoers with his breath and his snappy comebacks!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Let's borrow that for you and keep looking.
Spike: Eh.
Twilight Sparkle: What else?
[Whammy squeaks]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
[magic zap]
Cheerilee: Uh, how about Gusty the Great?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, that was one of my favorites when I was a filly! We'll take it!
Cheerilee: [teeth chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Mm, should I go with something more current...? [gasps]
Flurry Heart: Ta-da!
Twilight Sparkle: Cheerilee, I am so, so sorry! I didn't even hear her leave!
[erasing noises]
Flurry Heart: [worried noise]
Twilight Sparkle: There, all clean.
Cheerilee: Great. Now I'll just write it up again...! [slightly muffled] With my mouth.
Twilight Sparkle: Ehh...
Spearhead: Feast your eyes. This one's called "A Kitchen Guard's Journey"!
Princess Cadance: [unsure] Oh...
Shining Armor: This reminds me of the time Flurry got into the chocolate pudding, and we found little chocolate hoofprints all over the carpet.
Princess Cadance: That took forever to clean up! But remember how cute her little face looked when we caught her?
Shining Armor: Yeah. She was like, [imitating Flurry Heart] "Uh-oh!"
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [laughing]
Spearhead: Whoa, art is so evocative! I wasn't even going for that memory! Score!
[stroller squeaking]
Spike: Honestly, Twilight, I don't even want to tell you how late we are. Should I just cancel our visit to the hospital?
Twilight Sparkle: What?! Cancel?! We can't cancel, Spike! The sick foals are counting on us! And the B.A.E. would never throw in the towel like that!
Spike: B.A.E.?
Twilight Sparkle: "Best Aunt Ever"? Besides, this errand is gonna be different.
Spike: How do you figure that?
Twilight Sparkle: Because Flurry can play with the Cake twins and stay out of trouble! Best aunt ever!
Pound Cake: [giggling] [suddenly shuts up]
Cake Twins and Flurry Heart: [baby noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Wonderful! They're friends already!
[toy squeaks]
Spike: Huh. I shouldn't have doubted you.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks! Wait, you doubted me?
Spike: [nervous squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you watch Flurry. I'll take care of everything else. [quickly, to Pinkie Pie] Hi, Pinkie! How's it going? I need to pick up the cupcakes for the foals at the hospital! And can you do apology treats?
Pinkie Pie: I'm good. Here they are. Of course I can!
Twilight Sparkle: Do you still have a giant file on everypony's favorite treat?
Pinkie Pie: In my secret party planning cave!
[ding!]
Pinkie Pie: BRB!
[papers rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hee-hee! Remind me to tell you later how amazing you are. Cheerilee?
Pinkie Pie: Eh. I am pretty awesome.
[paper rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Cherry oatmeal cookies with yellow sprinkles.
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Can you write "sorry" on them?
Pinkie Pie: I've got a stamp for that!
[stamp]
Cake Twins: [arguing baby noises]
Spike: Hey, you guys! No need to fight! Uh... Hang on! I'm sure there's another one! Ugh, no, not this one... Oh, that's cute...
[toys thudding and squeaking]
Cake Twins: [screaming]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on, sweetie. We'll play in a second.
[snap]
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: The salespony at the toy store...
Pinkie Pie: Apple strudel cupcake with caramel drizzle!
Cake Twins: [grunts]
Flurry Heart: [yelps]
[splat]
Cake Twins: [grunts]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: [noise of alarm]
[paper ripping]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. You're making the same face Cheerilee made. Pinkie, remind me what your favorite treat is.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm... The sampler platter.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll take three of those.
Spike: Aha! Told you I'd find another one. [gasps]
[balloon pops]
Spike: [chuckles nervously]
[splat]
Spike: Uh... Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Out of the question! We are not cancelling! It's going to be okay! It has to be okay! It's been so terrible so far it can't possibly end up— Oh...
[squirt]
Spike: Uh, sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] No, I needed it.
Spike: I was just gonna say, we're here.
[tires screeching]
Spike: And we're only four-and-a-half minutes late!
Twilight Sparkle: Four and a half?!
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "...and while nopony had ever tried to reach Cloudsdale on hoof, Gusty the Great was not deterred! She and her unicorn warriors marched up the hill. But suddenly, they encountered..."
Spike: [gasps] What?! What was it?!
Twilight Sparkle: "It was the treacherous Grogar..."
Flurry Heart: [baby noises underneath]
Twilight Sparkle: "...and Gusty could tell he was ready for battle. Gusty called out to the unicorn warriors—" Ow! Not right now, Flurry. These foals really want to hear this.
[kettle whistling]
Flurry Heart: [throws tantrum]
[Whammy squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "'We can fight Grogar together!' And the unicorn warriors shot magical beams into the clouds that wove into one! The beam, stronger than a thousand armies, shined down!"
[magic zaps under]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "It wrapped around Grogar and pulled him to the ground! 'Don't let him escape!', yelled Gusty!"
Flurry Heart: [worried squeaks]
[magic zaps]
Nurse Redheart: Say 'ah'.
Cherry Fizzy: Ahhh—
[magic zap]
Cherry Fizzy: —aaargh!
[magic zap]
[magic zaps and thuds]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Grogar was strong, for fear gave him power, and he broke through the bonds!"
Flurry Heart: [worried noises]
Foals: [worried yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: I know! So good, right?
Spike: Twilight, look up!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, you're floating. You're floating!
Spike: So are you!
[magic zaps]
Flurry Heart: [worried noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Flurry, honey, you need to stop this. Put us down, please.
Spike: Twilight, look out!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [screaming]
[thud, thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Nopony panic! Everything's gonna be okay!
[magic zap]
[thud]
[magic zap]
[thud]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I can't keep up with her!
Spike: Oh, yeah, where's her Snoozle?!
Twilight Sparkle: Her what?!
Spike: You know, her Whacky Whompy thing? The snail? Where is it? Cadance said it calms her down.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't see it!
Foals: [worried noises]
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Flurry Heart! Put us all down this instant!
Flurry Heart: [worried noise]
Foals and Nurse Redheart: [yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: Is everypony okay?
Foals: [noises of assent]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Flurry, that was very, very bad! You could have hurt somepony!
Flurry Heart: [starts crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Flurry, I didn't mean to—
Flurry Heart: [continues crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Sweetie, you don't have to be scared. It's just me, see?
Flurry Heart: [confused crying noise]
Twilight Sparkle: You're scared of me. Because I yelled at you like a big scary bear. Flurry, I'm so sorry. I've been a terrible aunt today. All you wanted to do was play, and I've barely been able to pay attention to you. None of this is your fault. It's mine. So much for being the best aunt ever. But I hope you know how much I love you.
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I take it you forgive me?
Flurry Heart: [honk]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Flurry. How about we head home? After we find your Whammy, of course.
Nurse Redheart: [clears throat, taps hoof]
Twilight Sparkle: And clean up. [embarrassed giggle]
Princess Cadance: [tearing up] This one kind of reminds me of Flurry's hair.
Shining Armor: [tearing up] Uh-huh. And this one reminds me of Flurry too.
Spearhead: How so?
Shining Armor: It's small... like her! I-I can't do this anymore! Spearhead, this has been great, but—
Spearhead: Say no more. My art has always spoken to me about what I love. But knowing that it spoke to you about what you love speaks to me.
Shining Armor: What...?
Spearhead: Go to her.
Twilight Sparkle and Flurry Heart: [giggling]
[magic zap]
Flurry Heart: [muffled giggling] [unmuffled giggling]
Twilight Sparkle and Flurry Heart: [giggling]
[door opens]
Shining Armor: Flurry?! Where's our little foal?! Ah! Oh, we missed you so much!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [loving chuckles]
Flurry Heart: [encouraging noises]
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [sighs]
Princess Cadance: But it looks like you had a great time without us.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, not so much. Flurry got into some mischief, but it wasn't her fault. I shouldn't have agreed to watch her with such a jam-packed schedule. It was too much to juggle. But Flurry taught me an important lesson today. It turns out being the best aunt ever isn't about spending the most time with your niece, but spending quality time with her. And she taught me a really cool bear game, so I guess I learned two things.
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [laughing]
Shining Armor: Well, we definitely should've given you more of a heads up.
Princess Cadance: Yes! From now on, we'll give you plenty of notice.
Twilight Sparkle: Ohh, that would be great.
Princess Cadance: Hey, what are you doing next Tuesday?
Twilight Sparkle: [surprised snort]
Princess Cadance: For dinner, not to babysit.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckle] I'll have to check with Spike, but I think we're free.
Princess Cadance: Where is Spike, anyway?
Spike: [reading] "The dashing dragon warrior breathed a scorching flame from his snout, then chuckled to himself as he flew into the sunset. 'If you can't stand the heat, don't fight a dragon!'"
"Peach Fuzz": Hey, you kinda look like him!
Spike: Thank you! Okay, now who wants more cake?
Foals: [cheering]
[credits]

Rock Solid Friendship

["Pomp and Circumstance March no. 1 in D" playing]
Rusty Tenure: So in closing, earning a rocktorate in rock studies from the Equestrian Institute of Rockology is no easy feat. I'm proud of each and every one of you. Uh... each of... No, just you, actually.
Pinkie Pie: Go, Maud! Woo-hoo! Number one! Number one!
Rusty Tenure: Fillies and gentlecolts... and is that magnesium-rich basalt? It is my honor to present our vale-rock-torian, Maud Pie. Excuse me. Doctor Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Whoo! Doctor Pie! Doctor Pie! ..."Rock-tor" Pie?
Maud Pie: [clears throat]
[microphone feedback]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm Maud.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, you are! Brilliant speech! Encore! Encore!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] There's more, Pinkie. I'm Maud. [flips index card] Pie. Thank you.
[camera clicks]
Pinkie Pie: You are so welcome! Brilliant speech! Encore! Encore! Encore!
[clank]
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: [long high-pitched squeal, rapidly] You're moving to Ponyville! We'll live together and get bunk beds and I'll make us fuzzy slippers that say "Best Sister Friends Forever", although I probably can't fit all those words on a slipper, so maybe just "BSFF", but we don't have to decide right now because we'll be together all the time since when it comes to Ponyville, the doctor is in!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Slow down, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Yooooouuuuu'rrrrrrrreeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmooooooooovvvvvvvviiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggg tttttttooooooo Pooooooooooonnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyvvvvvvviiiiiiilllllllleeeeeeeee....
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm not definitely moving to Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: Of course you are, silly. You said... [imitating Maud] "There's nothing left to study back home on the rock farm, so I might move to Ponyville." [inflates, pop]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm also considering Ghastly Gorge.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Classic Maud sense of humor! You should do stand-up!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I do. But that wasn't a joke.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Ghastly Gorge? That terrible, awful, no-fun, all-alone canyon in the middle of nowhere?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] There or Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: But Ponyville is so "eee-hee-hee-hee-hee!" and Ghastly Gorge is so "Blegh!"
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's a rock-based decision.
Pinkie Pie: But what about BSFFs?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] That's why I'm giving Ponyville a chance.
Pinkie Pie: Phew! So all I have to do is prove Ponyville has better rocks than Ghastly Gorge? Challenge accepted. We'll drop your stuff off at my place, and then hold onto your world, 'cause it's about... to... get... rocked!
[beat]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Ghastly Gorge may have rocks, but our gem cave rocks!
[harp glissando]
Pinkie Pie: Huh? Huh? Oh, and look! You'll never know who you'll see!
Rarity: [gasps] Maud, darling! It's lovely to see you again! Oh! Congratulations on your rocktorate. What are you doing now?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Talking to you.
Rarity: Oh, y— Right. [laughs, clears throat] Well, if your trained eye happens to see a chartreuse gem, I'm desperate to find one.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I found one.
Rarity: Oh, you're an absolute darling! This will surely make my gown stand out at Countess Coloratura's album release party. Do you know how rare this is?
Pinkie Pie: Just another day in Ponyville!
[ding]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] That's actually a really common gem.
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Huh?
[rocks crumbling, gems falling out]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] These are all really common gems.
Pinkie Pie: They are? Uh, I mean, heh, come on! Of course they are! That's why I didn't bring you here to impress you! I wanted to make sure you had a chance to, heh, say "hello" to your old pal... Spike!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Hello, Spike.
Pinkie Pie: Way to go, Maud! Cross that off the to-do list! Y'know what I'm sayin'? Check! Now, let's get moving, 'cause I'm about to show you something that'll make you yell "All right!"
Maud Pie: [deadpan] All right.
Pinkie Pie: See? Ha-ha!
Pinkie Pie: Ta-da! It's a castle... made of rocks! Whaaaat?! Did I just blow your mind? I think I just blew your mind.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] A lot of structures are made from rocks, Pinkie. They're a very stable building material.
Pinkie Pie: But this place grew out of nowhere after a magical key-build gem followed a rainbow and buried itself in the ground! I mean, have you ever seen rocks like this?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yes.
Pinkie Pie: No, you haven't!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] We literally just saw hundreds of them in the gem cave.
Pinkie Pie: But... but... Oh, look at those rocks!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Those are sting-bush seed pods.
Pinkie Pie: So they are! But, uh... look at that rock! It's even got four smaller rocks around it like legs!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] That's a tortoise.
Pinkie Pie: Whose side are you on, Tank?! [panicked panting] Oh, wait a minute! What's that?! It's a rock shaped like Lyra Heartstrings! Total rock! [growling]
[deflating]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] I guess you won't be moving to Ponyville after all. Those rocks at Ghastly Gorge don't know how lucky they are to have you.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Actually, rocks aren't the only reason I'm considering Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: You said it's a rock-based decision.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm obviously passionate about exotic rocks, but I've always studied them... alone. I could handle some less exciting rocks if it meant I'd have somepony to talk to besides Boulder.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Are you saying you want... a friend?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I wouldn't mind one.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Maudileena Daisy Pie, this'll be easy! What're you looking for in a friend? Gimme six qualities assigning each one a numerical importance rating between one and seven, seven being essential and one being "eh". [burps]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It isn't hard to meet somepony I like. It's finding somepony who gets me.
Pinkie Pie: I get you.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You're my sister. It's different.
Pinkie Pie: Maud, you are the best! You never know when the lightning of friendship will strike. Somepony could come barreling through that door at this very moment and become your best friend!
[suspenseful music]
Pinkie Pie: Y'know, I really thought somepony was gonna come barreling through that—
[door opens]
[bump!]
Starlight Glimmer: [grunts]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Uh.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, my fault! Totally my fault! Are you okay? I should've been watching where I was going, and— You look really familiar. Have we met before?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yes.
Starlight Glimmer: I knew it!
Pinkie Pie: Whaaaaat?!
Starlight Glimmer: No, no, don't tell me. Um...
Pinkie Pie: [squeals]
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah. See, I was really hoping you'd tell me while I pretended to remember.
Pinkie Pie: How is this possible? [screams]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I traveled Equestria for my rocktorate dissertation.
[rock breaking]
Starlight Glimmer: Psst! Do you know a lot about rocks?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yes.
Starlight Glimmer: Have you ever come across some kind of super-powerful stone that can store the cutie mark magic of... I don't know... an entire village?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yep. In the big cave.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Hey, I got an idea. Let's not tell anypony that part where you maybe, for sure, accidentally helped Starlight enslave a town! [laughs, seriously] Tell nopony!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's not like she's enslaved anypony lately.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckling weakly, sighs] Well, great seeing you again. I gotta run a few errands. [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: [through the side of her mouth] Offer to help.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What?
Pinkie Pie: Offer to help!
Starlight Glimmer: You wanna help?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Do I?
Pinkie Pie: Of course you do! Go!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Okay.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] They're totally gonna be best friends and then Maud will choose Ponyville, and we'll get to wear BSFF slippers!
[thud]
[Starlight's theme playing]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Rocks take on different properties when interacting with magic. With the right stone, you could rule all of Equestria if you wanted to.
Starlight Glimmer: You're messing with me.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Am I?
[grim music]
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs, sighs] So other than rocks, what else are you into?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Minerals. Plate tectonics. Oh, and stand-up comedy, of course.
Starlight Glimmer: I like... kites.
[beat]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Kites are cool.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
Starlight Glimmer: The trick with an S.L.K. is not to make the spars too heavy. But if they're too light, you've got no ballast and then good luck tacking against the A.O.I.! [beat] I really like kites.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] They're starting to grow on me.
Pinkie Pie: Pizza delivery! Oh! Maud and Starlight? You're here too? Whoa-ho-ho! What a coincidence! 'Cause I was just, y'know, delivering this pizza to, um... you!
[thwack]
Pinkie Pie: So how's it going?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, just hanging out—
Pinkie Pie: Hey! You could use this time to bond and talk about feelings! For example, do you feel like you're becoming friends?
Starlight Glimmer: Um... I feel... like I don't want to talk about feelings?
Pinkie Pie: Great! I'll go next. I feel like I love that you two are becoming best friends! I mean, your friendship could be the friendship that makes Maud move to Ponyville! No pressure, Starlight. Um, hello? Where'd you two go?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Sorry about my sister. There's no half-excited with her.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I know. But she always calms down. Eventually.
Starlight Glimmer: Why do you find rocks so fascinating?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Each one has a different story to tell. Like Boulder here. This tells me he's over two thousand years old. [to Boulder] You don't look a day over six hundred.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. You can tell that from a line?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I didn't get a rocktorate because I can shred on guitar like nopony else.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Another reason I like rocks – they don't exclude you if you're... different than other ponies.
Starlight Glimmer: They're beautiful and strong, but they don't judge you or make you feel less than in any way. I think I'm starting to like rocks, too.
[tapping]
Starlight Glimmer: It's hollow?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's granite. Hollow granite is highly unusual.
[crashing and crumbling]
[whimsical music]
Starlight Glimmer: Wow! Have you ever seen anything like this?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No. And that's unusual. For me.
Pinkie Pie: There you are! I thought you went your separate ways but you can't imagine how happy I am to find you both together and to witness one of your firsts as friends!
[camera flashes]
Pinkie Pie: First time discovering an underground cavern! [squeals] I can't wait 'til you're old and eating pistachios together and telling your grand-foals about this! Oh, no! They're not bonding!
[ding]
Pinkie Pie: I got an idea!
[ripping]
Pinkie Pie: [exaggerated] Whooaa! I'm tripping on a rock at this very moment! And now I'm falling down!
[click, boom]
Pinkie Pie: [exaggerated] Oh, no! My accidental clumsiness has trapped us here! Where you'll be forced to bond until we're rescued.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, we won't have to wait for that. There's gotta be a spell that—
Maud Pie: [deadpan, to Boulder] Get us out of here, boy.
[crashing and crumbling]
Starlight Glimmer: Boulder, that was awesome!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No. That was sandstone.
Starlight Glimmer: More sand than stone, apparently.
Pinkie Pie: I'm thinking you wear these around your neck at all times so I don't lose you again, you sillies! That way, I can track your progress as friends!
[cowbells donging]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! And tomorrow, we can have a friendship brunch! What's your favorite kind of omelette cupcake?! [hushed] Mine's jalapeño red velvet!
Maud Pie: [deadpan groan]
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, um, I-I don't know if I can make it.
Pinkie Pie: You'll change your minds when you smell the yummy food! Come on!
[cowbells donging]
[snap]
Starlight Glimmer: Oops.
Pinkie Pie: Tomorrow's brunch is going to be the scrumptiest, brunchiest, munchiest brunch ever!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yeah. About that...
Pinkie Pie: The problem is, while you two were alone, I couldn't get data points on your friendship probabilities! Were you making Starlight smile? How was Starlight's smile-to-frown ratio? Anything over five-to-one is great! Oh, and how many times did you smile like this? [squees]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Zero times.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Maud, don't be so hard on yourself! You've got the best friendship-maker in Ponyville on the case! I'll be by your side the whole time! Speaking of which, your bell fell off, silly!
[cowbell donging]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie Pie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but—
Pinkie Pie: Buuuuuut?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [sighs] Never mind.
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Maud. When you see this brunch, you'll realize everything's gonna be okay! And then, I have amazing bonding activities planned for the next seventeen days! You and Starlight will be besties in no time! Goodnight! [kisses] [clap, clap] [snoring] ...Cupcake omelette...
[birds tweeting]
Pinkie Pie: Friendship brunch!
[paper rustling]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] [voiceover] Pinkie Pie. Thank you for trying so hard to help me make friends. But my decision has to be rock based. And Ghastly Gorge has such great rocks, I won't even have time for friends. It's better this way. Sorry it didn't work out. Maud.
Pinkie Pie: Maud! Wait!
[train chuffing]
Pinkie Pie: Maud! [tearing up] Maud...
Starlight Glimmer: [snoring softly]
Pinkie Pie: Starlight, wake up!
Starlight Glimmer: [yelps] Kites!
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: Huh? Oh. If this is about brunch, I-I, uh... You know what? Jalapeño red velvet omelettes sound gross. I-I just can't.
Pinkie Pie: Maud left in the middle of the night!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. I guess Ghastly Gorge really does have the best rocks.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] Why couldn't you two just be friends?
Starlight Glimmer: Pinkie Pie, I like Maud.
Pinkie Pie: You do?
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah. She's weird!
Pinkie Pie: Hey!
Starlight Glimmer: No, in a good way! She sees the world in a totally different way than anypony I've ever met. She accepts me for who I am. She taught me that a rock is never just a rock, and she could make anything funny. We never had to say it, but we got each other.
Pinkie Pie: You really were becoming friends?
Starlight Glimmer: I think so, but you kinda sorta... got in the way.
Pinkie Pie: [deep gasp]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] You're right, too harsh. Let's go with... You ruined everything all the time?
Pinkie Pie: [whimper]
Starlight Glimmer: Mmmmh, that's worse. What I'm trying to say is—
Pinkie Pie: [tearing up] I have to go!
Starlight Glimmer: Ta-da... Friendship lesson... learned? [sighs]
[wind blowing]
[picking]
[crumbling]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Sigh.
[clinking]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Emerald jasper? This must be my lucky day.
[quarray eel growling]
[train chuffing]
[train whistle]
[train chuffing]
[crows calling]
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] [licks] [chews] Maud tracks!
Pinkie Pie: [sniffing]
[quarray eel growling]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Hello, Pinkie Pie. I found emerald jasper.
[snap]
Pinkie Pie: [shrieks]
[jacking noise]
Pinkie Pie: Are you okay, Maud?! That eel almost ate you!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What eel?
[snap]
Pinkie Pie: [yelps]
[quarray eel roaring]
Pinkie Pie: [panting]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You didn't need to come. I'm having a great time on my own.
[snap]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I even made a new friend.
Pinkie Pie: Is it a rock?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Yes.
[snap]
Pinkie Pie: [shrieks] Maud!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I don't belong in Ponyville. It only proved I'm better off all by myself. Like I always have been.
Pinkie Pie: Don't say that! It was all my fault! I— [shrieks] I thought I knew everything about making friends, but I didn't even know my own sister! I forced you to do things my way, but my way isn't your way!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] This way.
Pinkie Pie: Exactly!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No. This way.
Pinkie Pie: Maud, I thought you couldn't make a friend without my help, but it turns out you couldn't make a friend with my help. I underestimated you, and I'm sorry.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I know you did it out of love. You're my best sister friend forever.
Pinkie Pie: [bawling] Oh, Maud! I love you bigger than all Equestria! [sobbing]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] And you melt my heart more easily than sodium-rich plagioclase feldspar.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] I don't know what that means, but please please please please please give Ponyville another chance! But more importantly, give me another chance... to leave you alone.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] What do you think, Boulder?
Starlight Glimmer: You're back!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Mm-hmm.
Starlight Glimmer: For good?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Mm-hmm. This doesn't mean we need to start talking about feelings, does it?
Starlight Glimmer: Heh. No way.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Maybe after this we could decorate my new place.
Starlight Glimmer: Totally! Where is it?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Well, it's not in Ponyville. More like Ponyville-adjacent.
Starlight Glimmer: It's perfect.
Pinkie Pie: Yes! My sister's totally staying in Ponyville! I mean Ponyville-adjacent! [laughs]
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry, sorry, I'm leaving! I promise. I'm not even here. Aah, you're wearing the slippers! Okay, now I'm really leaving. Buh-bye!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Heh-heh... Wrong way. [zip]
[credits]

Fluttershy Leans In

[phonograph static]
[heroic music]
Fluttershy: Oh! Be careful!
[heroic music continues]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
[slow motion clicking]
[record scratch]
[thud]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Are you okay, Angel?
Angel: [rattle, whimper, crying]
Fluttershy: I told you that entering the Ponyville Parkour Contest was a dangerous idea. You just rest here, and I'll have you all fixed up in no time. Oh, dear. I'm all out of bunny foot braces. I think we need to pay a visit to Dr. Fauna.
Angel: [whimpering]
Fluttershy: [straining] Oh, I was sure she would be here today.
Angel: [whimpering]
Fluttershy: Hello? [knocks on door] Is anypony there?
Dr. Fauna: [muffled] Fluttershy? Oh, am I glad to see you!
Fluttershy: [straining] I wish I could say the same, but the door's stuck, so I, um... can't see you.
[animals chattering]
Dr. Fauna: Ohhhh. Somebunny hurt his foot. Let's bandage that up so he can get back home. I'd like to keep him overnight, but as you can see, my place is just bursting with animals! [exhale] I don't think I can take in even one more critter right now!
Clementine: [sneezes]
Fluttershy and Dr. Fauna: Oh, dear.
[theme song]
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: [gasps] You really have your hooves full here.
Dr. Fauna: [sighs] This place is like a zoo! Then again, it's normally like that, but still... I can't keep up!
[birds chirping]
Dr. Fauna: Oh. Now, does my favowite wittle bunny want a carrot pop?
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Dr. Fauna: [sighs] That's okay. I think the goats ate all of them anyway.
[goat belches]
Fluttershy: I just can't believe all these poor little animals are hurt. What happened?
Dr. Fauna: I'm flummoxed! Every day, there's more and more animals on my doorstep. Most of them just have minor ailments – hurt wings, stuffy noses, and such. But the trouble is even after they're all healed up, I can't seem to get these comfy critters to leave!
Fluttershy: Oh, dear.
[nail clippers clipping]
Fluttershy: They do seem to have made themselves right at home here.
Dr. Fauna: I wonder why they chose to flock to my office. It just doesn't make sense.
Fluttershy: Don't be silly, Dr. Fauna. You're the best vet pony in Equestria. At least that's what I've been telling everypony.
Dr. Fauna: Uh... you did what?
Fluttershy: Oh, no. Do you suppose it's my fault? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just know animals feel safe and happy under your care.
[ducklings chirping]
Dr. Fauna: Normally, I don't mind if a snake wants to slither in or a raccoon needs a rest, but now this place is so full, I have no space to treat any injured animals.
Fluttershy: That is a big problem... that I'm going to fix for you! I already have the perfect solution that'll make the critters happy and give you more space. Then you'll have all your ducks in a row!
Dr. Fauna: The sooner you fix it, the better!
Fluttershy: I'm on it!
Dr. Fauna: [sighs]
Fluttershy: I want to thank you all for rushing right over when I called.
[squirrel chittering]
Angel: [angry chittering]
Fluttershy: Dr. Fauna needs my help with a serious problem.
Twilight Sparkle: A friendship problem?
Fluttershy: No. Her vet clinic is a bit... maybe, um... overrun with adorable critters in dire need of a safe place to lay their heads, and... they don't have anywhere to go!
Rarity: Oh, that's just awful.
Fluttershy: I know!
Applejack: Yeah. Dr. Fauna's always fixin' Winona up when she ain't feelin' too fine, so helpin' her out is A-okay by me.
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Yeah!
Rarity: You can count on us!
Pinkie Pie: [simultaneously] Okie-dokie-lokie!
Twilight Sparkle: [simultaneously] Okay!
Fluttershy: Oh, that's great news! Because it means you'll all be helping me with something special, too. Something that's been a dream of mine for a long time.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, goody! Is your dream to make a bouncy castle shaped like a gigantic bundt cake?
Fluttershy: Um, no. Not exactly.
Pinkie Pie: Huh. Just me then.
Rainbow Dash: So? What is it, Fluttershy? Spill!
Fluttershy: My dream is to build a real animal sanctuary.
[bird chirps]
Fluttershy: A beautiful habitat where every animal – whether sick or scared or even just lonely, feathered or furry, scaly or slimy – every critter would be welcome. My sanctuary can be the one place in Equestria they call home 'til they feel ready to take on the world.
[animals cheering]
Harry: [blows nose]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Fluttershy! I've never heard you speak with such conviction.
Rarity: Oh! That was exquisite!
Rainbow Dash: Pretty awesome.
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you, everypony. You all taught me so much about building my confidence over the years. It's because of your friendship that I finally feel able to make my dream project a reality. But I can't build the sanctuary alone. Will you join me?
All except Fluttershy: [eager agreement]
Applejack: I'm happy to offer my extra hooves to ya. Huh. But come to think of it, I actually know a filly who'd be more help than I would. She's a friend of mine from Winona's sheep-herdin' competitions – Wrangler! Heh. She's an expert in animal enclosures.
Fluttershy: How lovely!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh-ooh-ooh! I know somepony, too! Hard Hat is the best construction pony in Ponyville. He can build anything you could ever, ever, ever want!
Rarity: Hearing you all mention these experts, I am reminded that I too have the perfect pony to help capture the essence of your vision. To give it some style, some flair! [chuckles]
Fluttershy: Is it you, Rarity?
Rarity: [chuckles] No! No. Um, I was referring to the premiere interior designer of the Canterlot elite – Dandy Grandeur. He helped me when I was setting up my Canterlot boutique. I know that he'd be thrilled to work with you.
Fluttershy: Wow, everypony! Thank you! I can't wait to meet all of them and hear their ideas. We're right on track to building the most wonderful sanctuary in Equestria!
Rupert: [hissing]
Fluttershy: Thank you, Rupert. Ahem. It's wonderful that you all could join me to discuss the Ponyville sanctuary project. My friends have so many nice things to say about each of your talents. This is a big project, so I'm happy to have such experienced ponies working on it with me.
Dandy Grandeur: Rarity has impeccable taste in design and friends, so I can't wait to work with you, you know?
Fluttershy: I-I think so.
Wrangler: Yee-haw! I'm just lookin' forward to helpin' ya out, ma'am! And the animals.
Fluttershy: Of course.
Hard Hat: So, uh, Pinkie Pie said you drew up some blueprints?
Fluttershy: Um, not exactly. It's more of a dream board.
Hard Hat: Hmmm, that sure doesn't look like an animal hospital.
Fluttershy: Well, that's because it's not. It's a sanctuary. A place that is safe but not restrictive. Cozy but natural. A place where the animals can come and go as they please.
[mouse squeaking]
Fluttershy: So, can you build it?
Wrangler, Hard Hat, and Dandy Grandeur: [chuckling nervously] Uhhh...
Fluttershy: I want the sanctuary to have an open floor plan. No walls. More like an enclosure that melts into the trees. With a gate in the back. That way, the animals can return to the forest right when they feel ready.
Pinkie Pie: Sneaky! I like it!
Hard Hat: You know, uh, I designed the Ponyville Hospital. I could do the exact same thing right here. I still have the blueprints. Though it'll take a while to clear all these trees.
Fluttershy: But I don't want to clear the trees. I want to use them.
Hard Hat: Are you sure? What you're talking about doesn't really seem like a cohesive structure. Or any structure I'm familiar with.
Fluttershy: Critters don't live the same way ponies do. I know this is unconventional, but that's because we're trying to do something that's never been done before. I really believe it'll work.
[birds chirping]
Hard Hat: Hmm. All right then. I'll see what I can do.
Pinkie Pie: See, Fluttershy? Whatever you want.
Fluttershy: Good.
Hard Hat: [to Steam Roller and Jack Hammer] I know she thinks she knows what's best, but once she sees how much better it works with these plans, she'll thank us.
Steam Roller and Jack Hammer: Uh-huh, yup.
Dandy Grandeur: Which one do you like for the window treatments?
Rarity: Ooooh! Loving the print on those!
Fluttershy: Um, not to be rude, but there must be some mistake. We have no need for curtains at the sanctuary.
Dandy Grandeur: And whyever not?
Fluttershy: Everything is gonna look natural in the animal habitats, not like it was made for ponies.
Dandy Grandeur: All those shades of brown and green? But... they're so... drab, you know? [chuckles]
Fluttershy: Drab? You're calling the colors of beautiful trees drab?
Dandy Grandeur: Exactly! The natural look is not in right now. This is better. Trust me.
Fluttershy: I appreciate your input, but I just know the animals would be happiest with dirt brown pillows and leaf green accents.
Dandy Grandeur: I'll... look into it.
Fluttershy: Thank you.
Rarity: When a client has a vision... [chuckles]
Dandy Grandeur: ...Sometimes they need me to steer them away from it. Especially if it's dirt brown.
Wrangler: And right there, we got your standard sheep-travelin' cage. Fits two critters, dependin' on size.
Fluttershy: Hmm.
Applejack: Uh, what is it, sugarcube?
Fluttershy: I'm looking for something less like a cage and more like a nice hug. Maybe if we lose that part.
Wrangler: Uh... Well then, it wouldn't be a cage.
Fluttershy: Exactly! Ooh! This is the perfect base for a little nest. I'll take a bunch of these and anything else the animals can burrow into.
Wrangler: You sure you don't want somethin' more secure for the critters?
Applejack: She does have a point there. You wouldn't want a bunny wanderin' into the wrong cave, would ya?
Fluttershy: No! No cages. I want to give the animals the freedom to come and go. It's the only way they'll feel comfortable.
Applejack: Well, she's the boss.
[construction noises]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Hard Hat: Hey, whaddya think, Fluttershy? I told ya we'd be fast. Almost finished with the building already.
Dandy Grandeur: The color just pops, you know?
Wrangler: Quite roomy inside, really. And very safe.
Dandy Grandeur: Don't keep us waiting, Fluttershy. Do you love it, or do you love it?
Fluttershy: I... I... [angry] I don't love it! This is not going to work at all! A giraffe can't fit through this door! With these curtains blocking the light, how are the birds gonna sing in the sunshine? And this is the opposite of a nice hug! I know you all worked hard, but none of you did anything I asked for!
Hard Hat: [scoffs] That's not true. We used the trees just like you asked!
Dandy Grandeur: And that curtain fabric is organic! It's got natural fibers!
Wrangler: And I added pillows inside my cages. That should count as feelin' like a hug!
Fluttershy: I may not know much about construction or interior design or wrangling, but I am an expert at one thing: the care of animals! And what animals need is a sanctuary, not this!
Dandy Grandeur: Maybe your "vision" wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, you know?
Fluttershy: My vision isn't the problem here! I told you all exactly what I wanted, and none of you listened to me! So while I appreciate your efforts, I no longer require your services!
Dr. Fauna: Hello! Oh, the animals have been so excited for the sanctuary, they couldn't wait any longer! [laughs] Can we take a look inside?
Fluttershy: Oh, um, actually, it's, uh, not ready and... [gasps]
[bonk]
[raccoon family chittering]
[rip]
[woodpecker pecking]
[goat bleating]
[cage closes]
[bear growls]
Fluttershy and Dr. Fauna: [shriek]
[bump]
[structure collapses]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Dr. Fauna: Oh, I'm so sorry, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: No. I'm the one who should be sorry. This didn't go at all like I had imagined.
[sweet music playing]
Fluttershy: Sleep tight, little one. It's going to be okay. I promise.
[mice squeaking]
Fluttershy: Now, now, every mouse has gotta wait their turn.
[mice squeaking]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I'm so sorry. I thought I'd have a beautiful sanctuary for you all to stay in by now. But I put my trust in the wrong ponies.
Dr. Fauna: It's okay, Fluttershy. I know you did your best, but we can make this work here. It'll be a bit, uh... tight. Heh. But with your help, we'll have these patients back on their paws in no time, even without a sanctuary.
Fluttershy: No!
[bear groans]
Fluttershy: I won't give up! These animals need me! And I'm gonna solve this once and for all! If this little lady can crawl all the way here from Western Equestria, I can find a way to build her a safe place to rest!
[animals cheering]
Dr. Fauna: [laughing]
Fluttershy: Oh! [joins in laughter] Oops. Everyone back to sleep now.
Fluttershy: Thanks for coming, everypony. As you know, building the sanctuary didn't go quite as planned.
Pinkie Pie: I know, right? Who would've guessed that Hard Hat wouldn't build whatever you want?
Rarity: I never would've invited Dandy to help if I thought he'd act in such a manner.
Applejack: [sighs] And Wrangler sure made a fool outta me, too. I'm sorry, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: It's okay. You were all just trying to help. But I know that letting all the experts go was the right call.
Twilight Sparkle: So what are you gonna do now?
Fluttershy: Try again. I'm going to rebuild the sanctuary and do it my way this time.
Pinkie Pie: All right, Fluttershy!
Applejack: [simultaneously] You show 'em, filly!
Rarity: [simultaneously] That's the spirit!
Rainbow Dash: How about putting an awesome flying course for the birds right there?
Pinkie Pie: And a carrot cake stand here?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, a library cave?
Fluttershy: Everypony, stop! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, but I need everypony to respect mine. Other ponies may be experts in their fields, but animals are my field of expertise. And if I say this is what I want, then this is what needs to happen! Oh, um, for the animals of course.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! We should call you "Flutterbold" now!
Rest of main cast: [laughing]
Fluttershy: To get things back on track, I called in a favor from an old friend. He'll be here any minute.
Twilight Sparkle: I thought you said no more experts.
Fluttershy: This is one expert I know I can trust to put the animals first. Plus there's nopony better at building.
[knock on door]
[door opens]
Big Daddy McColt: [laughs] I heard somepony needs construction help fer them critters!
Twilight Sparkle: Big Daddy McColt! [to the others] We met each other back when the map called me and Fluttershy to the Smokey Mountains!
Fluttershy: And he certainly knows his stuff when it comes to buildings and caring for animals.
Big Daddy McColt: Well, shucks. Let's not stand around talkin' about it. Let's build us a sanctuary!
[everyone cheers]
[building montage music from "The Hooffields and McColts" playing]
Fluttershy: Are you ready?
Dr. Fauna: Oh, I'm more excited than a beaver in a log pile!
Fluttershy: Okay, you can open your eyes! Welcome to Sweet Feather Sanctuary, a safe and cozy retreat for everycreature!
Dr. Fauna: [gasps] Oh, Fluttershy! This is amazing!
Fluttershy: Now you should have plenty of room at the clinic. Because once you've treated them, they can recover here! With my help, of course. It's okay, Lola. We all move at our own pace. Sometimes, all we need to do is believe in our dreams. And when we finally reach our goal, we'll know that it was worth what it took to get there, because the view will be even better than you imagined!
[credits]

Forever Filly

Sassy Saddles: [panting] [muttering] Oh, I have to... Oh! I can't believe the winter-to-spring transition is almost here!
Rarity: [humming] Oh, I know. I love it so much, I gave it its own term – "Spring-sition"! [laughs]
Sassy Saddles: Ohhh. I like that. [sighs] I'm going to have to relabel all my binders. Right after we finish... everything! We still have so much to do! Oh, my bustles and bows! Rarity, did we—?
Rarity: Already hemmed, ruched, and cut, my dear.
Sassy Saddles: [sighs] Oh. Rarity, no reason to panic, but, um, we seem to be temporarily low! And when I say "temporarily low", I mean "completely out of"—!
Rarity: The baby blue sapphires? They arrived this morning.
Sassy Saddles: Oh. Heh. Wonderful. [sighs] Oh! What about the design for the—?!
Rarity: And done!
Sassy Saddles: Wow. You are good. And you've really outdone yourself this time! The Morning Sunshine Tulip Frock is gorgeous!
Rarity: Ooh, thank you. Look, I know you're worried about something slipping between the cracks. But with your managerial skills and my fabulous designs, we have everything covered.
Sassy Saddles: You're right. You're right. There are no cracks.
Rarity: Would you be a dear and fetch me some vermilion satin from the back? And I'll start on the Eternal Elegance Empire Silhouette evening gown.
Sassy Saddles: My most certain pleasure!
Rarity: Oh. I love this picture. When was the last time we had that kind of fun together? [gasps] Why, I can't remember! Has it been that long?! I guess I've been so busy running my shop! [gasps] Oh, no! Something, or should I say somepony, is slipping between the cracks! [sobs] I miss my Sweetie Belle! [sobs]
Sassy Saddles: Rarity, we're running low on vermilion satin.
Rarity: Huh? [bawls]
Sassy Saddles: I... I can order more!
[theme song]
Rarity: [continues bawling] And this is when we pretended we were storybook princesses. And here we pretended we were on a dangerous yet stylish safari. [sobs] So many wonderful memories! [sobs, blows nose, resumes sobbing] Not to put too fine a point on it, but... [bawls harder] Sweetie Belle loves playing dress-up. I miss her so much!
Sassy Saddles: Then why don't you go visit her?
Rarity: [through tears] I wish I... could, but... between... running... three stores and the spring-sition... I couldn't possibly...
Sassy Saddles: But you've already done almost all the work. I can handle the rest.
Rarity: B-B-But... but...
Sassy Saddles: Rarity, go. I have everything well in hoof.
Rarity: [sobs, calmer] Mm, point taken. [excitedly] I am going to visit my sister!
Sassy Saddles: Way to immediately turn that around.
Rarity: We can spend the whole day together! And we can do all her favorite things!
Sassy Saddles: I'm sure she'd love that.
Rarity: Oh, Sassy, thank you!
Sassy Saddles: Of course! Now get out of here!
Rarity: I'm going! I'm going! Hang on, sis! I'm coming!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Starry Eyes: [screams]
Scootaloo: Excuse us!
Apple Bloom: Comin' through!
Sweetie Belle: Cutie Mark Crusaders mid-mission here!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling, screaming]
[crash!]
Scootaloo: That was fun! Let's do it again!
Sweetie Belle: Scoot, we've got a job to do.
Scootaloo: Later?
Sweetie Belle: All right, Chipcutter. We've done our part. The rest is up to you.
Chipcutter: You really think I have it in me to be a sculptor?
Scootaloo: Yup!
Chipcutter: But why?
Sweetie Belle: Because you said you weren't good at anything except getting in trouble for making sculptures out of your lunch, right?
Chipcutter: Yeah. I can't help it. When I look at my sandwich, it's like it's just asking me to... turn it into a dragon.
Apple Bloom: Well, what is this slab asking you to turn it into?
Chipcutter: Hmmm... I see...
[jackhammering noises]
[crumble]
Apple Bloom: Wow! T-That's incredible! It looks just like us!
Scootaloo: We knew you had it in you, Chip!
Chipcutter: This is way better than sandwich sculpting!
Sweetie Belle: Chip, we're proud of you.
[flash]
Chipcutter: I finally got my cutie mark!
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo! All right!
Scootaloo: Yes!
Sweetie Belle: Way to go!
[hoof-bump]
Scootaloo: [sighs] Not a bad way to start a day.
Apple Bloom: Not a bad way at all! Helpin' ponies is just about my favorite thing to do.
Sweetie Belle: Another satisfied client!
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Mm-hmm!
Apple Bloom: So who's up next?
Sweetie Belle: Pretty sure it's Zipporwhill. She needs help reconnecting with her cutie mark – three puppy paw prints.
Scootaloo: When is she swinging by?
Sweetie Belle: Well, I think she should be arriving right about...
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: ...now.
Apple Bloom: Wow. You are good.
Sweetie Belle: Come on in, Zipporwhill.
Scootaloo: Okay, so what seems to be the problem, exactly?
Zipporwhill: It's my puppy, Ripley. We used to be so close. In fact, I got my cutie mark the day I found him and took him home. But now, it's like he wants nothing to do with me.
Scootaloo: Don't you worry. You've come to the right place! The Cutie Mark Crusaders are on the job!
Apple Bloom: Trust us. Before you know it, you and your puppy will be back to bein' besties!
Sweetie Belle: You have the CMC guarantee! No matter what it takes, we promise you'll have our full attention.
Rarity: [singsongy] Guess who's here to spend the whole day with her little sister?!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] Rarity? [grunts]
Rarity: Mmmm!
Sweetie Belle: [laughs nervously]
Rarity: [to Zipporwhill] Oh! Heh-heh. So sorry, dear. You're tiny. I didn't even see you there! Tend to get carried away with my entrances! Ta-da! [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, what are you doing here?
Rarity: I am here to spend the day with you! I'm so excited, I could practically faint! You don't happen to have a fainting couch in here, do you?
Sweetie Belle: No!
Rarity: Oh, pfft, of course not. It's a treehouse! That would be très gauche!
Sweetie Belle: Right... Well, I sure am happy to see you, and spending the day with you does sound like a lot of fun, but... I'm kind of right in the middle of something important. I have responsibilities and...
Rarity: Oh.
Apple Bloom: Go on, Sweetie Belle. We've got this covered. How often do you get to spend time with your sister?
Scootaloo: Yeah! Go have fun.
Sweetie Belle: You sure you two can handle our client here?
Rarity: "Client"? Oh, that is so adorable!
Sweetie Belle: Uh, thanks? I think?
Rarity: [sniffs] Ooh! You have mints to offer your "clients". [giggles] How.. professional. [giggles]
Sweetie Belle: Are you sure you two got this?
Apple Bloom: We have it handled.
Rarity: Oh, my! Look at this wall of satisfied customers! [gasps] You girls really have come a long way.
Sweetie Belle: Well, all right then. [to the other Crusaders] But, lemme know if you need me or run into any trouble.
Rarity: Come on, come on! You'll never guess what I have planned! [squeals]
[foals and Rarity giggling]
Rarity: Ooh! So fun!
Sweetie Belle: [indignantly] What?
Rarity: [giggles] It's just I know how much you love these puppet shows.
Sweetie Belle: I did.
Rarity: Oh, it's just like old times! You, me, greasy popcorn. It's like no time has passed at all.
Zipporwhill: [struggling] Come on... [grunts]
Rarity: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! It's your favorite part!
[music and silly sound effects]
[foals and Rarity giggling]
Rarity: Banana peels are so very, very slippery! [laughs] It's funny because it's true! [laughs]
Sweetie Belle: [laughs nervously, sighs]
Rarity: What's the matter, darling?
Sweetie Belle: I, um, guess I just prefer black box experimental theater.
Rarity: What?! Since when?
Sweetie Belle: [sighs] I dunno. It's no big deal. This is great.
[bell dings]
Rarity: Okay. We're here! Ta-da! [laughs, clears throat] Aren't you excited to be back here again? Do I know my baby sister, or do I know my baby sister?
Sweetie Belle: Uh... Yeah... Where is "here" exactly?
Rarity: Oh, pfft! Stop being so silly! You know this is your favorite ice cream shop!
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Right. From when I was a little filly.
Rarity: And I convinced the original owner to come out of retirement to make you your all-time favorite dessert! [giggles, claps twice]
[tray drops]
Sweetie Belle: Huh. I remember it being much bigger.
Rarity: Well, go ahead. I know you're dying to dig in.
Sweetie Belle: [slurps, gulps]
Rarity: Well?
Sweetie Belle: [laughs nervously, sighs] That was, uh... one tasty bite. Still a little hungry, though.
Rarity: [gasps] We can get another sundae! Chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, perhaps?
Sweetie Belle: I was thinking something more like a salad.
Rarity: A salad? When did you get so practical?
Sweetie Belle: Oh, um... I guess another scoop would be fine!
Rarity: [gasps] One more Filly Clown Surprise, please!
[thump]
Sweetie Belle: [groans]
Ripley: [panting]
Zipporwhill: Hey, Ripley!
Scootaloo: Look at me! Over here!
[squeaking]
Ripley: [yawns]
[balloon squeaking]
Rarity: I know you must be bored, darling. This is a very long line for one of Twisty Pop's balloons.
Sweetie Belle: [groans]
Rarity: But just be patient. We'll get you your favorite balloon bouquet, and it'll all be worth it.
Zipporwhill: [baby noises] Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?! You're the good puppy!
Ripley: [whines]
Zipporwhill: Now come on, puppy-wuppy! Get the bally-wally!
Scootaloo: Come on, Ripley! Like this!
Apple Bloom: Good Scootaloo! See?
Ripley: [barking]
Zipporwhill: [sighs] It's not working.
Scootaloo: Maybe if the ball tasted better?
Apple Bloom: I don't think that that's it, Scoot.
Sweetie Belle: Doesn't look like it's going so well. I'm just gonna do a quick check with the CMCs.
Rarity: Well, I guess duty calls, and-and you, you have that now...
Sweetie Belle: What?
Rarity: Oh nothing, nothing. Go on.
Scootaloo: Hey, Sweetie Belle. How's your day with Rarity going?
Sweetie Belle: Well, it's not exactly great...
Apple Bloom: What do you mean?
Sweetie Belle: I don't know. It's like Rarity doesn't even know me anymore.
Scootaloo: I wish we could say our day is going better.
Ripley: [barking]
Apple Bloom: But we can't.
Scootaloo: Seems like Zipporwhill's puppy doesn't want anything to do with her.
Sweetie Belle: Hmmm. I see what you mean... [gasps] You know, it's an awfully big puppy...
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, hurry! He's making it!
Sweetie Belle: Gotta go...
[balloons squeaking]
Rarity: [gasps] I know just what to do with this!
[fashion music]
Rarity: And pose!
[camera clicks]
Rarity: And pose!
[camera clicks]
Rarity: Love the camera!
[camera clicks]
Rarity: Hate the camera.
[camera clicks]
Rarity: Love it again!
[camera clicks]
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, you did "hate the camera" for all these shots! [sighs] Let's do it again.
Sweetie Belle: No!
Rarity: [gasps]
Apple Bloom: Come on, Zipporwhill, you can do this!
[squeaking]
Ripley: [sniffing]
Rarity: W-What do you mean, no?
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, this is hard for me to say, but... um...
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, what is it? You've been acting weird all day. You used to love doing these things with me.
Sweetie Belle: That's just it! I used to! That's not who I am anymore!
Zipporwhill: This isn't who I am! My cutie mark must be for something else, because my puppy just doesn't love me anymore! Hmph!
Rarity: But it is you! You love puppet shows and dressing up and taking silly photos and tiny little clown-shaped ice creams!
Sweetie Belle: Really?! If you still think I like doing this stuff, then maybe you don't know me at all!
Rarity: [whimpering]
Rarity: [sobbing] I can't believe Sweetie Belle talked to me like that. [indignant] And after everything I did to set up a whole day of doing her favorite things! I mean, accusing me of not knowing her?! I know her better than anypony! Um, thank you, Twisty, but the hard truth is, my sister is being unappreciative right now! And I'm going to go and give her a piece of my mind!
[balloon deflating]
Sweetie Belle: Hey, Zipporwhill. What are you doing here? Where are Apple Bloom and Scootaloo?
Zipporwhill: They're with my puppy. He seems to like them better than me anyway.
Sweetie Belle: Now, I'm sure that's not true.
Zipporwhill: It is. He doesn't like doing anything with me anymore. [sighs] He didn't even want to play with this. And all puppies love these. [sniffs]
[squeak]
Zipporwhill: [sniffing, crying]
Sweetie Belle: I think that might be your problem right there! Come on!
[squeak]
Ripley: [yawns]
Scootaloo: [groans] Find Zipporwhill, Ripley!
Apple Bloom: Woof, woof! It's Zipporwhill! Woof?
Scootaloo: [sighs] It's hopeless.
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle!
Scootaloo: Zipporwhill! [sighs] We're sorry we haven't figured this out yet.
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, girls. I think I cracked this one.
Rarity: Aha! There she is! [gasps] Oh, dear. Really should have changed. [huffs] No matter! I'm going to give her quite the talking to! ...Right after she's done with her conversation. Anger is no excuse for poor manners, after all.
Sweetie Belle: Okay, Zipporwhill. What do you see?
Zipporwhill: My puppy?
Sweetie Belle: That's not what I see. I see a full-grown dog.
Zipporwhill: He did get bigger, I guess.
Sweetie Belle: He's not just bigger. He's older, too.
Ripley: [grunts]
Sweetie Belle: You don't still play with the same toys from when you were a foal, do you?
Zipporwhill: Oh. Ohhh. The squeaker is a little small for him now. [sighs] It's just hard for me to believe he's not the same adorable little guy I found anymore.
Sweetie Belle: I understand. But doing things like you used to won't turn him back into a puppy.
Zipporwhill: So... what do I do?
Sweetie Belle: Treat him like the dog he is, and find new favorite things to do together.
Zipporwhill: You think so?
Rarity: I know so!
Sweetie Belle: Rarity?!
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie Belle. I heard what you said, and you are so right.
Scootaloo: About the dog?
Rarity: Yes, but about us, too. The truth is, I know you're not a little filly anymore. But it's just... the last time we did all of those things together, I... I didn't realize it was gonna be the last last time. I loved doing those things with you. It's hard for me to let that go.
Sweetie Belle: Aww, Rarity! I love being with you too! That will never change! But... maybe we could just try to do different things together?
[clicking]
Ripley: [alerted dog noise] [panting]
Zipporwhill: What is it, puppy? [giggles] I mean, Ripley?
Ripley: [panting]
Zipporwhill: [giggling] I love you too, Ripley! Thank you, Crusaders.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: No problem!
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Zipporwhill: [laughing]
Zipporwhill: Oh, Ripley!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, I'm so very proud of the pony you've grown into.
Sweetie Belle: And I'm proud that no matter what, I'll always be your little sister.
Rarity: I, uh, have a little bit of time before I have to head back to Canterlot. Could we spend it together? What would a grown pony like you want to do?
Sweetie Belle: Well, I do have one idea...
Rarity and Sweetie Belle: [licking lips]
Rarity: Heh, I didn't realize your idea would be such a delicious one! [giggles] I don't know how I'm going to finish this.
Sweetie Belle: Oh! I'll help you!
Rarity: [giggles]
Sweetie Belle: [giggles]
[camera clicks]
[credits]

Parental Glideance

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [straining]
Apple Bloom: [straining] Scootaloo... is this such a... good idea?
Scootaloo: What are you talking about? This is the best idea I've ever had!
Apple Bloom: [grunting] It's just...
Scootaloo: You wanna come. But we talked about this. Non-Pegasus ponies fall through the clouds.
Apple Bloom: Right, but...
Sweetie Belle: I think we're good.
[rubber band straining]
Apple Bloom: We are? Scootaloo, I know you have to go to Cloudsdale to finish your report. I'm just wonderin' if this is the best way to get there.
Scootaloo: It'll be fine. Besides, how else could I get there?
Apple Bloom: A Pegasus chariot?
Sweetie Belle: A flock of birds?
Apple Bloom: A hot-air balloon?
Scootaloo: Huh. Those do seem a lot safer. Maybe I should try to find another waaaaaaaaayyyyyy!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [gasps]
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!
[poof]
Scootaloo: [grunts, weakly] Nailed it.
[lawnmower humming]
Bow Hothoof: [echoing] Uh, little ma'am, are you all right?
[head rattling]
Scootaloo: [gasps] You're... You're... You're... Rainbow Dash's dad!
Bow Hothoof: Uh, yes. Bow Hothoof at your service.
Scootaloo: [screams loud and long, fades out]
[theme song]
Scootaloo: [continues screaming]
Bow Hothoof: Uh, honey? Somethin's goin' on out here!
[door opens]
Scootaloo: [stops screaming, resumes screaming at a higher pitch]
Windy Whistles: Oh! Heavens to Celestia, what's wrong with her?!
Bow Hothoof: I don't know, but you just made it worse.
Scootaloo: Sorry! It's just you're... Rainbow Dash's parents! [resumes screaming]
Bow Hothoof: She's doing it again!
Windy Whistles: Oh, dearie, please! You might shatter my Princess Celestia commemorative plates! Ow!
[plates cracking]
Scootaloo: [stops screaming] I'm so sorry. I just... [squeals] I can't believe I'm meeting you! My name's Scootaloo, and I'm doing a school report on your daughter! [ding]
Bow Hothoof: Our Rainbow Dash?
Scootaloo: The report's on an inspirational pony in my life, and nopony inspires me more than she does! I'm putting together this scrapbook for my report! I'm her biggest fan!
Bow Hothoof: Now, little trotter, what you say is impossible. [excitedly] Because nopony is a bigger fan of our Rainbow Dash than us!
Scootaloo: Whoa! You always wear that shirt?
Bow Hothoof: Heh. Actually, it's, uh, laundry day. But pretty great, right?!
Scootaloo: Yeah!
Windy Whistles: My name's Windy Whistles, and I just have to say that it is a total blast to meet somepony that loves Rainbow Dash as much as we do!
Bow Hothoof: What can we help you with?
Scootaloo: Well, I know all about Rainbow Dash's time in Ponyville, but I don't know anything about her life before that.
Bow Hothoof: Well, you came to the right place!
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Windy Whistles: Here you go! Rainbow Dash's favorite meal! A pasta and potato sandwich on sourdough! She just loved to carbo-load. [giggles]
Scootaloo: I can't believe I'm eating Rainbow Dash's favorite food made by Rainbow Dash's mom while sitting in Rainbow Dash's childhood kitchen! This is the greatest day of my life! [munches loudly] Mmmm!
Bow Hothoof: I think it's time for a tour of the house.
Scootaloo: [mouth full] Okay.
Bow Hothoof: Our little Dashie was an early learner and so rambunctious. The combination was—
Windy Whistles: [singsongy] Exciting!
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: Whoa... Is that... her room?
[door opens]
Scootaloo: [screams] Rainbow Dash's linen closet! Her carpet! Her inspirational poster! [reading] "When the going gets tough, the tough don't notice because they have hard shells." That's so Rainbow Dash!
[camera flashing]
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!
Bow Hothoof: Scootaloo, wanna see something really cool?
[curtain opens]
[door opens]
[heavenly choir singing]
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[door closes]
Bow Hothoof: I, uh, installed the sound effects myself. [chuckles]
[door opening and closing, heavenly choir turning on and off]
Bow Hothoof: Pretty great, huh?
Scootaloo: So great!
Windy Whistles: And look at this! She was wearing it when she spoke her first words.
Scootaloo: So cool!
[camera flashes]
Windy Whistles: And this broken lantern is from when she first learned to fly.
[camera flashes]
Windy Whistles: And this bitten apple is from when she grew her first tooth! [gasps] So many memories!
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: You're so lucky to have all of these!
Windy Whistles: Well, I may have a ton of Dash-mentos, but I don't have any of those "Rainbow Dash Saves Ponyville" headlines like you.
Scootaloo: [gasps] Trade-sies?
Windy Whistles: Deal-sies!
Scootaloo: So where's all the Wonderbolt stuff?
Bow Hothoof: You mean Rainbow Dash's personal collection of Wonderbolt memorabilia?
Scootaloo: No. I mean, where's all the stuff about Rainbow Dash getting accepted into the Wonderbolt Academy and then getting chosen as a Wonderbolt? Wait, you don't know that your daughter's a Wonderbolt? And I got to tell you?!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: Uhhhhhhhhh...
Scootaloo: Oh, wow! You should see your faces right now!
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: See? That's what your faces look like.
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: Our daughter's a Wonderbolt?!
[heavenly choir singing]
[door closes]
Bow Hothoof: Great timing.
Scootaloo: Great door.
Windy Whistles: I just... It's... Unbelievable!
Scootaloo: You two were kind enough to show me the Rainbow Dash you know. Now please, allow me to show you the Rainbow Dash I know.
[Wonderbolts' theme playing]
Spitfire: Let's make some thunder!
Rainbow Dash: I was born to make thunder!
[thunder strikes]
Bow Hothoof: Our baby's a Wonderbolt!
Windy Whistles: [cheering loudly]
Spitfire: We've got turbulence!
Rainbow Dash: How? Where's it coming from?
Bow Hothoof: I'm so proud!
Misty Fly: There!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: [cheering loudly] She's a Wonderbolt!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no.
Spitfire: Okay. Which pony broke protocol and invited guests to our training exercises?!
Rainbow Dash: I guess they're with me. [groans, embarrassed] Mom, Dad. So... good... to see you.
Windy Whistles: Oh, honey, it's so great to see you, too! And wow! You were so amazing up there with all of that flying!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how did you know I was here?
Windy Whistles: Scootaloo filled us in on everything, you modest pony you!
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: I can't believe I'm documenting the moment your parents first saw you as a Wonderbolt!
Windy Whistles: And these must be your Wonderbolt friends! Hello, team! I'm Windy Whistles, the mom of the best Wonderbolt ever! Yeah! Just kidding. You guys were great, too! Go, team!
Rainbow Dash: Moooom!
Scootaloo: [chuckles]
Spitfire: Hello, ma'am. Nice to meet you.
Windy Whistles: Nice to meet you as well, and love those goggles! Love 'em! You know, I have goggles, too. But they're mostly just for swimming. Oh, and bath time.
Rainbow Dash: Mom, please! They don't wanna hear about your bath time!
Bow Hothoof: I can't believe it! My daughter, a Wonderbolt! [sobs] So proud!
Rainbow Dash: Dad, hold it together. We're in public.
Bow Hothoof: I know! I know, i— but it's... just... You had a goal, and... you achieved it! [sobs]
[camera flashes]
Spitfire: All right, Wonderbolts! Let's hit the showers and give Rainbow Dash some time to spend with her family.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, yeah! Uh, great practice! I'll, uh, eh, catch up with you guys in a minute!
Fleetfoot: Sir, you really raised a great flyer!
Bow Hothoof: Oh, no! [straining] Tears... welling up again!
Rainbow Dash: Dad!
Bow Hothoof: [continues sobbing]
[camera flashes]
Rainbow Dash: Could you give us a sec?
Scootaloo: Is something wrong?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. You should've warned me that you were bringing my parents! Or talked to Twilight or something! Not just shown up!
Scootaloo: Why?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! It's just my parents and I have a delicate relationship. I love them very much, and we're really close, but there's a reason I didn't tell them I'm a Wonderbolt! They can be a little bit... embarrassing.
Scootaloo: Huh? Really?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, really! And now you've invited a whole lot of crazy into my life!
Scootaloo: What's wrong with a little support?
Scootaloo: Bow and Windy, I'd like you to meet Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom: Hi!
Sweetie Belle: Hello.
Bow Hothoof: Greetings, small ponies.
Apple Bloom: Are you excited to see Rainbow Dash?
Windy Whistles: Oh, my, yes! And to think we never bothered to come to a Wonderbolt event!
Bow Hothoof: We said if Rainbow Dash isn't a Wonderbolt, then what's the point? But now, she is!
Scootaloo: And she earned it! Did you know it all started when she won a spot in the coveted Wonderbolts Academy, training under Spitfire?
Windy Whistles: I didn't know that! How wonderful!
Scootaloo: But then, she had some heavy competition. Especially against another Pegasus named Lightning Dust.
Windy Whistles: Oh, no!
Scootaloo: But, of course, Rainbow Dash proved to be the best and later made it into the Wonderbolt Reserves!
Windy Whistles: Hooray again!
Scootaloo: But jealous ex-Wonderbolt Wind Rider was worried that Rainbow Dash might break his speed record. And so, he framed her for a crime she didn't commit.
Windy Whistles: Oh, no!
Scootaloo: But thanks to Rarity, Rainbow Dash proved her innocence and became a backup Wonderbolt until Fire Streak retired, and she became an official Wonderbolt!
Windy Whistles: Hooray! Wow, what a gripping tale!
Bow Hothoof: You really know your Rainbow Dash history. You're going to do great on your report.
Apple Bloom: Show's about to start.
[Wonderbolts' theme playing]
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: [hooting]
Bow Hothoof: Come on, Bolts! Let's start this thing!
Windy Whistles: Wonderbolts' Big Showcase! Here! We! Gooooooooo!
Bow Hothoof: Rip it up and tear! It! Down!
Windy Whistles: Then build it back up again and tear it back down again! Yeah!
Bow Hothoof: Woo! Yeah! Uh-huh, uh-huh! Go go go! Yes! Go, Rainbow Dash! Best Wonderbolt ever!
Windy Whistles: Woo-hoo! That's my daughter! Go, Rainbow! Go, Dashie, go-go-go-go-go!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: [cheering loudly]
Windy Whistles: You go, girl!
Fleetfoot: [to Rainbow] Your folks were definitely loud, but they weren't that bad.
[fireworks]
Spitfire: Whoa! Since when did we add fireworks to the show?!
Rainbow Dash: Uhhhh, we didn't.
Bow Hothoof:
Attagirl!
Yeah!
Go-go-go-go-go!
Windy Whistles:
Woo-hoo!
Go, girl! Go, girl, you got it!
You're a Wonderbolt!
Fleetfoot: Wow...
[crowd chattering]
Bow Hothoof: Go, Rainbow Dash! You sign that photo! Whoo!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: Cut the ribbon! Cut the ribbon! Cut the ribbon! Cut the ribbon!
[camera flashes]
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: The camera loves you! Yeah!
Bow Hothoof: Now, let's do the pyramid! Scootaloo, get up there! You're the top!
Spitfire: [to Rainbow] You really do got yourself your very own mega-fans. Lucky you.
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[locker door opens]
Windy Whistles: You hung that towel!
[clang!]
Windy Whistles: Yeah!
Bow Hothoof: Greatest towel hanger of all time! [chanting] Towel!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: [chanting] Towel! Towel! Towel! Towel! Towel! Towel! Towel! Tow—
Rainbow Dash: Stop! This is ridiculous! Mom and Dad, you are both too supportive! This is exactly why I didn't tell you I was a Wonderbolt! You're just... too much!
Windy Whistles: Did... Did we do something wrong?
Rainbow Dash: Yes! The fireworks, the cheerleading, and-and how do you even compare who is better or worse at hanging up a towel?!
Bow Hothoof: We're just trying to be supportive.
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm tired of it! I've had enough of you two being so proud of every little ridiculous, insignificant thing I do! [pants] I think you should leave.
Windy Whistles: First of all, great job yelling at us, sweetie. No one [sniffs] can make their parents feel more worthless than you!
Bow Hothoof: [through tears] Your words were direct, clear, and... so painful! Is there nothing you can't do?!
Scootaloo: Why?
Rainbow Dash: Scootaloo, you don't understand!
Scootaloo: I met your parents hoping to learn more about you, but I don't like what I found out! I'll find somepony else to do my hero report on.
[sad music]
[scooter revving]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Scootaloo, wait! I know I wasn't myself back there, and I shouldn't have snapped at my parents! That's exactly why I didn't tell them I'm a Wonderbolt!
Scootaloo: I don't understand. They're so proud of you.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Can I tell you something?
Scootaloo: Sure.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, but you might wanna hold onto your wings because this could rock you to your very core. Believe it or not, there was a time when I wasn't the best at everything.
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: See this picture? It looks like I won something awesome, but actually...
Announcer: And last, but not least, it's time to hand out our participant stickers!
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh!
Bow Hothoof:
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah, Rainbow Dash!
You show 'em!
Windy Whistles:
Go, Rainbow! Go, Rainbow!
Hooray!
Yeah!
Bow Hothoof: Greatest participant ever!
Young "Dumb-Bell": Uh, your parents realize you didn't win, don't they?
[camera flashes]
Rainbow Dash: Granted, I was the youngest pony in the senior competitive circuit. Most other ponies my age were still in the Junior Flappers' Club. I thought it was utterly mortifying having my parents cheer me on even when I lost!
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] But then, when I started to win competitions – which didn't take very long, by the way – things got even worse!
Bow Hothoof:
Yeah!
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah, Rainbow Dash, you show 'em!
Windy Whistles:
Whoo!
Go, Rainbow! Go, Rainbow!
Woo-hoo-hooo! Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] Being the best came with consequences. Very loud, very embarrassing consequences.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Scootaloo: Ya know, some ponies would dream of having parents like that.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right! Name one!
Scootaloo: [sighs] Me. Growing up, I never thought I'd be the best at anything, because nopony ever told me. But your parents told you over and over again. Look! Best bath taker ever. Best carrot eater under three. Greatest napper of all time!
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] I am pretty good at napping. I can fall asleep anywhere. [snores] Huh?
Scootaloo: For your entire life, your parents gave you the confidence to believe in yourself.
Rainbow Dash: You're right. I was always so embarrassed by my parents that I didn't realize their support actually made me the awesome, confident, amazing, awesome, and awesome pony I am! [sighs] And I took them for granted.
Scootaloo: And you yelled at them.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] I gotta make this right. I have an idea, but I'm gonna need your help. That is, if you're willing to help me after I acted like that.
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: Now, that's a great picture! "Rainbow Dash learns the error of her ways"!
Windy Whistles: I'm telling you, I just can't see a thing. Scootaloo, you are just so great at blindfolds!
Bow Hothoof: It's true. You must tell me what kind of knot you used. Uh, falconer's knot? Wait, no! A farmer's loop!
Windy Whistles: What's this all about, anywho?
[microphone feedback]
Rainbow Dash: [over loudspeaker] Windy Whistles and Bow Hothoof, please be seated for a super private Wonderbolt event! [clears throat] Mom and Dad, welcome to the... [quickly] "I Love My Parents and I'm Sorry That I Took Them for Granted and I Know That They Made Me Who I Am Today So I Really Wanna Make It Up to Them"... [normally] event. Enjoy!
[Wonderbolts' theme music]
Rainbow Dash: Thanks for doing this.
Spitfire: Happy to help.
Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles: Oooh... Ahhh... Oh! Ooh! [more awed excitement sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Mom and Dad, I want you to know that I'm your biggest fan.
Windy Whistles: Oh, honey, thank you. But you didn't have to do all this. It's kind of [whispers] embarrassing.
Bow Hothoof: Eh, it is a bit much.
[camera flashes]
Scootaloo: And that's why Rainbow Dash is the most inspirational pony in my life!
[applause]
Cheerilee: Thank you, Scootaloo. Very well researched! But a little heavy on the pictures, and there was a moldy sandwich in your report. [chuckles] Um, I'll give you a B.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Greatest report giver of all time!
Bow Hothoof, Windy Whistles, and Rainbow Dash: [chanting] Scootaloo! Scootaloo! Scootaloo!
Bow Hothoof, Windy Whistles, and Rainbow Dash:
Scootaloo!
Scootaloo!
Scootaloo!
Scootaloo!
Scootaloo!
Scootaloo!
Cheerilee:
Keep it down!
Okay!
This isn't a rock-and-roll concert!
Please!
[credits]

Hard to Say Anything

Sweetie Belle: Hey, Apple Bloom! Rarity's reorganizing her shop, and look what she found! Old costumes from the talent show!
Scootaloo: We thought they'd come in handy in case we ever help a pony put on a play or need to make a quick escape disguised as clowns.
Apple Bloom: Here ya go, Big Mac.
Scootaloo: Whoa, that sure is a lot of apples!
Apple Bloom: Are you makin' another delivery to Starlight's old village?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: That's an awful long way for a pony to go, isn't it?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: You've been goin' there a lot lately. What is this, your fifth trip this week?
Big McIntosh: [laughs nervously] Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Okay, well, have fun. So what other costumes did you bring, Sweetie Belle?
Scootaloo: Are you crazy?! We can't talk about costumes at a time like this!
Apple Bloom: Time like what?
Scootaloo: Your brother is hiding something. Did you see the way he was acting?
Sweetie Belle: Yeah. He totally blushed when you brought up how often he's been going to Starlight's old village.
Scootaloo: Something is definitely going on. There can be only be one reason a pony would travel so far, so often.
Scootaloo:
He's taking private skiing lessons!
Sweetie Belle:
He's training for a marathon!
Apple Bloom:
I've been cooking a lot of broccoli...
Apple Bloom: ...and he wants to get away from the smell!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
[theme song]
Scootaloo: Maybe he's a spy on a mission to thwart an evil villain with a secret weapon: an apple cannon!
Apple Bloom: No, that's crazy! I think it's my broccoli thing.
Sweetie Belle: Why don't we just ask him?
Scootaloo: You saw how shifty he was acting earlier. There's no way he'll tell us what he's doing. Plus, I really wanna go undercover. We already have costumes! Call me "Agent Rainbowhead".
Sweetie Belle: I'll be "Shimmering Spectacles", a librarian with a mysterious past.
Apple Bloom: And I'll be a pirate spy! Arrrgh! A spy-rate!
[record scratching]
Apple Bloom: [gasps] Avast! Our ship be leavin' port!
Scootaloo: Huh?
Apple Bloom: Big Mac's leavin'! If we're gonna be spies, we gotta go! Now!
Big McIntosh: [whistling]
Apple Bloom: Big Mac's a-comin'! Quick! Act like apples!
Sweetie Belle: What? How?
[romantic music]
Sweetie Belle: Who's that pony?
Scootaloo: Let me see! I dunno. Shouldn't have taken the binoculars. I don't know anypony here.
Apple Bloom: That must be Sugar Belle. Applejack told me about her bakery. Obviously, she's just been orderin' a lot of apples.
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: So nothing fishy's going on.
Scootaloo: No way! We came here to be spies! And no spy I know has ever solved a case that quick!
Sweetie Belle: Mmm, how many spies do you know?
Scootaloo: That's... not important. What's important is that we do more recon. Follow my lead!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Mm.
[spy music]
Apple Bloom: Whoa. She sure likes her apples.
Sweetie Belle: What is she doing? Making the biggest apple pie in Equestria?
Sugar Belle: Thanks for coming all this way, Big Mac.
Big McIntosh: Pfft! [whinnying laugh]
Sugar Belle: It sure is nice seeing you again so soon.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. [giggles]
Sugar Belle: All I used to bake were boring old muffins, but thanks to your apple deliveries, I get to bake all kinds of delicious treats! Apple pies, apple fritters, apple turnovers, caramel apples, caramel apple cakes... [sighs] I just wish I had more room to display it all. My shelves only hold so much.
Apple Bloom: I'm tellin' you, this pony reeeeaaally likes her apples.
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] Or Big Mac!
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Huh?
Sweetie Belle: Just look!
Sugar Belle: Ooh! Uh... [giggles]
Big McIntosh: Oh, I... [giggles]
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle, I-I think you're right! [loudly] I think my brother has a crush!
Sweetie Belle: Shh!
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Psst! Big Mac! [to the Crusaders] Now remember, my brother's super shy, so he's probably gonna be embarrassed about his crush. Just try and make him feel comfortable. Hey, Big Mac, it's me! Apple Bloom!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: We're here, too!
Big McIntosh: Mm-hmm.
Apple Bloom: I'm gonna ask you a very personal question, and I want you to answer honestly. Do you... have a crush on... Sugar Belle?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Scootaloo: Well, that was easy.
Apple Bloom: This is so excitin'! My big brother has his very first crush!
Scootaloo: First crush? What about Cheerilee?
Sweetie Belle: It doesn't really count when you trick a pony into drinking a love potion, does it?
Big McIntosh: [angrily] Nnope!
Apple Bloom: [singsongy] My brother has a crush! My brother has a crush! My brother has a crush! [normally] Wait! Does Sugar Belle even know you like her?
Big McIntosh: Uh-uh.
Apple Bloom: Then you gotta tell her!
Big McIntosh: O-Oh... eh... ehhhh...
Sweetie Belle: We're pretty sure she likes you! I mean, she keeps ordering apples just so she can see you again.
Big McIntosh: Eeeyou think so?
Scootaloo: Totally! But you'll never know if you don't try.
Big McIntosh: Okay!
Scootaloo: Go get her, Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: [deep breath]
[knocking]
[romantic music]
Feather Bangs: [California accent] Hey, girl. Heh-heh. I was writin' poetry by the pond when I saw these flowers. I thought I'd show them how pretty you are.
Sugar Belle: Oh! Heh. Thanks, Feather Bangs.
Big McIntosh: [sad snort]
Scootaloo: Um, is it possible to have two crushes at once? Because it looks like Big Mac may not be the only pony Sugar Belle likes.
Apple Bloom: Hey, Big Mac! Where ya goin'?
Big McIntosh: Home!
Sweetie Belle: You can't let that Feather fella get in the way of your one true love!
Scootaloo: You've gotta take him down!
Apple Bloom: What can he do that you can't?
Big McIntosh: That!
Feather Bangs: Whoops! Heh-heh. These balls are like you. I'll always catch you if you fall.
Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
Scootaloo: Seriously? That line worked?
Big McIntosh: She'll never pick me.
Apple Bloom: Sure she will, 'cause we're gonna help you.
Big McIntosh: No love potions!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
Apple Bloom: Don't worry, Big Mac. We learned our lesson the hard way.
Scootaloo: Yeah. We're never gonna do that again.
Sweetie Belle: Besides, I know exactly what to do! When I was younger, I read all the fairy tales.
Scootaloo: When you were "younger", huh?
Sweetie Belle: Well, I was younger on the way here!
[beat]
Sweetie Belle: It was a long ride! Anyway, as long as we do what the book says, you're pretty much guaranteed a happy ending. Uh, how about this one? "Rescuing a damsel-pony-in-distress." That's perfect! Of course, we'll have to improvise without a dragon.
Apple Bloom: Huh. Too bad Spike isn't here. Not that he's very threatening.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Scootaloo: So what should we do? Wait around for Sugar Belle to get herself into a scary situation?
Apple Bloom: Or... we bring the danger to her.
Big McIntosh: [gulps]
Apple Bloom: All right. Scootaloo's gonna pretend to take Sugar Belle's things, then you swoop in and stop her. Ready?
[beat]
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Sweetie Belle: Come on! You're gonna be her hero! In fairy tales, the knight in shining armor always gets the girl.
Big McIntosh: Hmmm... Mm-hmm.
Sugar Belle: Oh! Somepony, help!
[screeching]
[slow motion sounds]
Feather Bangs: Here's your sugar, Sugar. Though it is not as sweet... [chuckling] ...as you.
Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
Sugar Belle: [sighs] Thank you, Feather!
Apple Bloom: That smooth-talkin' pony stole our rescue! And it totally would've worked!
Big McIntosh: [angry] Eeyup.
Sweetie Belle: We're just gonna have to keep trying! Big Mac, are you ready to take it up a notch?
Big McIntosh: Oh, yup!
Big McIntosh: Oh, nope.
Sweetie Belle: Trust us! There's nothing more romantic than waking your special pony from a sleeping spell with a magical kiss! See? "They rode off into the sunset."
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sigh]
Apple Bloom: Any sign of Feather Bangs?
Scootaloo: Negative! Coast is clear!
Apple Bloom: It's now or never, Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: [gulps, nervous sounds, puckering]
Sugar Belle: [gasps]
Feather Bangs: Oh-ho-ho, girl, you been workin' hard all day. Allow me to treat you like the princess... [chuckling] ...you are.
Big McIntosh: [nickers]
Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
Sweetie Belle: Hey! That's our metaphorical sunset they're riding off into!
Scootaloo: All right! This ends now! Feather Bangs may have good timing, and... a good mane... uh, but let's see him compete with a song!
Big McIntosh: S-Say what now?
Apple Bloom: Of course! Why didn't we think of it before?
Sweetie Belle: Every great love story hinges on the romantic musical number. Big Mac, you've gotta write a song for Sugar Belle!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[hoofbump]
Apple Bloom: Come on, Big Mac!
"Swoon Song": [Valley girl accent] Feather Bangs is soooo romantic.
"Fond Feather": [Valley girl accent] When he speaks, I pretend he's talking to me.
Big McIntosh: [sighs]
Apple Bloom: Come on! You can do better than him! Just like we practiced!
Big McIntosh: [gulps]
[Big McIntosh]
We'll take a walk down by the river
Watch the sunset from the field
We'll plant the seeds of love together
And water 'em right for a really good yield
Sugar Belle, sweet as pie
You're the apple of my eye
A cherry blossom in a field of rye
And when the heifer's milked and fed
And the pigs are in the sty
Won't you be there by my side?
[Feather Bangs]
Oh, oh
Oh, ah-oh
When you appeared before me
My heart stopped beating
Stars crossed the sky
To come see what I was seeing
You were the one
That made me believe I could fly
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Birds could not sing
A song that's as beautiful
I'd do anything
That's irrefutable
'Cause you are the sun
Painting my heart in the sky (whoa-oh, oh)
Sugar, Sugar Belle, whoa-oh
When will you tell me that you feel the same?
Like an angel on a candy cane
Or the sunlight shining through a drain
[Big McIntosh]
Sugar Belle, when I look in your eyes
[clears throat]
I see the color blue
And it reminds me of the sky above
Uh, which is also... blue
[Feather Bangs]
Hey, hey, hey, yeah
Be my sugarplum
I will be your watermelon
Every time you smile
I can feel my heart a-swellin'
Blood is rushing from my head to my hooves, yeah
I start movin' when I'm feeling that groove, yeah
[Big McIntosh]
I've been writin' this song for you
Searchin' for the perfect rhyme
For the words I wanna say
Somethin', somethin', somethin', somethin'... Be mine
[Feather Bangs]
[Michael Jackson sounds]
[autotuned] Every day I see you
I know you could be the one for me
Feel my heart a-beating like
The rain upon a bumblebee
Don't you see that I could, uh-oh, uh-oh
Whenever you are near me, I'm so... uh-oh
[Big McIntosh]
Sugar Belle!
Roses are red and violets are blue!
[Feather Bangs]
Sugar, Sugar!
My love is burning hot like a cheese fondue!
[Big McIntosh]
Sugar Belle!
[Feather Bangs]
Sugar Belle!
[Big McIntosh]
Sugar Belle!
[Feather Bangs]
Sugar Belle!
[Big McIntosh]
Sugar Belle!
[Feather Bangs]
Sugar Belle!
[Big McIntosh and Feather Bangs]
Sugar Belle!
[crash!]
[splat]
Sugar Belle: What in Equestria has gotten into you two?! If you think I'm the kind of pony that likes all this nonsense, then you clearly don't know me at all! I wish everypony would just... leave me alone!
Feather Bangs: [whimper]
[splat]
Apple Bloom: Big Mac? Oh, Big Mac?!
Scootaloo: Well, nopony's seen him.
Apple Bloom: Aw, I feel terrible. I've never seen my brother so upset before. Oh, Big Mac?! Big Mac!
Sweetie Belle: Are you okay?
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Apple Bloom: Sorry it didn't work out with Sugar Belle.
Sweetie Belle: We don't get it. Big, grand gestures always work in the fairy tales.
Big McIntosh: But Sugar Belle's not a fairy tale princess. She's a real pony. She's kind, and she works hard, and she's sweeter than everything in her bakery.
Apple Bloom: That's it! We shoulda been thinking about what would mean a lot to Sugar Belle!
Big McIntosh: Hmmm... [gasps] I know just the thing! But I'm gonna need your help!
Apple Bloom: Really? Even after we messed it up?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Come on!
[spy music]
Scootaloo: [fake voice] Hello! My name's Shimmering Spectacles, and I'm a librarian with a mysterious past. [chuckles]
Sugar Belle: Oh, okay. I'm... Wait a minute. You look familiar.
Scootaloo: [fake voice] I shouldn't. Um, uh, I'm new in town. Mind showing me around?
Sugar Belle: Uh, sure. That's the whole town. It's just the one street.
Scootaloo: [fake voice] Oh, no! Clumsy me! Here, let me help you clean it up!
Sweetie Belle: I don't think Scootaloo can hold her off much longer.
[construction noises]
Scootaloo: [fake voice] Uh, n-now hold on a minute. Are you sure I can't buy you a new bag?
Sugar Belle: I'm good. It's no big deal.
Scootaloo: [fake voice] But, u-um, umm... [gulps]
Sugar Belle: Okay, what's going on?
[door opens]
Scootaloo: [normal voice] Ahhh! The cupcake has landed! Repeat – the cupcake has landed! Oof!
Sugar Belle: Big Mac! You made me a new display case?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sugar Belle: And you made it bigger! You remembered! [gasps] Now I have twice as much room for all my desserts! [gasps] Which means... I can make even more! I've been dying to try baking cream pies and whoopie pies and icebox cakes and, of course, more apple treats! Oh, Big Mac, thank you so much. This is the sweetest thing anypony's ever done for me.
Big McIntosh: [chuckles] Uh, y-y-yeah or-or nope or...
Sugar Belle: [giggles] I like you, too.
Big McIntosh: [sighs]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Awwwww!
Apple Bloom: That was the most romantic thing ever!
Sugar Belle: Wait a minute. I recognize you fillies. [to Big Mac] Have they been with you this whole time?
Big McIntosh: Ee—
Apple Bloom: I'm Big Mac's little sister, and these are my friends. We're sorry for everything we put you through today, Sugar Belle. Big Mac never would've gone through with all of those crazy...
Sweetie Belle: ...over-the-top...
Scootaloo: ...downright ridiculous...
Apple Bloom: ...attempts to impress you if we hadn't put him up to it. But we learned our lesson. Romance isn't about impressin' somepony. It's about doin' somethin' that means somethin' special to that pony you love— Heh... [clears throat] like a lot.
Sweetie Belle: Uh, Apple Bloom, I think they get it.
Sugar Belle and Big McIntosh: [chuckling]
Feather Bangs: [singing] Sugar Be-eee-eee-elle...! [vocalizing] Yeah.
Scootaloo: Sorry, Feather. You're a little too late.
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Sugar Belle's already picked her special somepony!
Sweetie Belle: But don't worry. You've got three not-so-secret admirers right behind you!
Swooning Ponies: [swoon]
Feather Bangs: [nervous laugh] What should I say to them?
Apple Bloom: Uh, you're askin' us for advice?
Feather Bangs: Uh-huh. Look, I-I can mane flip, write poetry, and juggle, but actually talkin' to a pony? Oh, it scares me almost as much as loneliness. Will you help me? Please?
Apple Bloom: Gee, I don't know about this.
Scootaloo: He just needs a little nudge in the conversation department. Besides, I don't think Big Mac's ready to leave just yet.
Sweetie Belle: Let's do it!
Apple Bloom: Feather Bangs, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: ...at your service! [laugh]
Feather Bangs: [laughs]
[credits]

Honest Apple

Rarity: Oh, thank you so much for helping me with these flyers, Spike. I'm so lucky you just happened to be walking past the boutique. [chuckles]
Spike: Uh, yeah, right. Just happened to be walking past. [chuckles nervously]
Pinkie Pie: Whatcha got here? Lost dog? Balloons for sale? Guitar lessons? 'Cause I found one, I need some, and yes, I am interested! [imitating guitar riff]
Rarity: No. [chuckling] It's a call for submissions. Fashion contest I'm organizing. A showcase for aspiring young designers.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, wow! What an awesome idea!
Rarity: Thank you. I remember how difficult it was to break into the fashion industry when I was starting out. That's why the winner of the contest will get to debut their line in the Carousel Boutique!
Spike: [dreamily] So selfless... So generous...
Rarity: I've also managed to get esteemed fashion critic Hoity Toity and iconic fashion photographer Photo Finish to come to Ponyville and judge the show. And... [squealing] Wait until you hear who else will be a judge.
Spike: Countess Coloratura?
Pinkie Pie: Sassy Saddles?
Spike: Spike?!
Rarity: No! [chuckling] The third judge for the Carousel Boutique's Couture du Future Fashion Contest is none other than... Applejack!
Applejack: What?!
Pinkie Pie: What?!
Spike: What?!
Rarity: ...What?
[theme song]
Applejack: What?!
Rarity: You already said that, darling.
Applejack: I know. But I had to say it again because that's how confused I am. You want me to judge a fashion show?
Pinkie Pie: I'm sure Rarity has her reasons, and once we hear them, all of this will make sense.
Rarity: I admit, Applejack is an unorthodox choice. But that is precisely what makes her an inspired choice!
Pinkie Pie: See? Now it all... still doesn't make any sense.
Rarity: Hoity Toity has expertise in fabric and stitchwork. Photo Finish has an artistic eye for shapes and colors. But sometimes, we designers forget about practicality. That's where you come in.
Applejack: Uh, I think I might be a little too practical. My closet's nothin' but twenty versions of this hat.
Rarity: Which tells me you're a pony who knows what she likes. Besides, a judge must be honest, and you're the most honest pony there is. Ask any pony – they'll tell you.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! Lemme try! [to Cherry Fizzy] Excuse me. Have you ever heard of Applejack?
Cherry Fizzy: The most honest pony there is? Sure have!
Rarity: See? So what do you say?
Applejack: Well, if I'm bein' honest, I don't think I'm the right pony for the job. Fashion just ain't my bag of oats.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, booooo!
Rarity: I do understand your hesitation. But before you say no, sleep on it?
Applejack: Sure, I... guess I can do that for ya.
[shimmering magic sounds]
Applejack: Yeah, I know, Big Mac. I-I was just as surprised as you are. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: I mean, heh, can you imagine? Me, judgin' a fashion show?
[pause]
Apple Bloom: I'd do it! It sounds like fun gettin' to see all those pretty outfits!
Applejack: Well, you're the exception in our family, sugarcube. You know about that kind o' stuff. I'd be as useful as a burned knot on a zapplin' tree. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Although... Rarity did say I just had to focus on practicality. She already has experts for the... uh, fashion-y stuff. Eh, but I still wouldn't know what to say.
[thunk]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Come on, Apple Bloom! You're doublin' our workload here!
Apple Bloom: Sorry. I wanted to wear a signature hat like yours, but it's makin' it harder to see.
Applejack: That's because it's not like mine. [grunts] You don't need a fancy scarf to keep your hat on. Now you can see. [grunts]
[apples thudding]
Apple Bloom: Wow! That is a lot better! Thanks, Applejack!
Applejack: Sure thing. You know what? I am gonna help Rarity judge her show! I think my sensible "everypony" take on fashion is exactly what the pony community needs!
[bell rings]
Applejack: Rarity, I thought about it some more, and if you still need me, I'd love to be a judge.
Rarity: [squeals] I just knew you'd come around!
Photo Finish: I, Photo Finish, have arrived!
Hoity Toity: As has Hoity Toity.
Rarity: [gasps] It's wonderful to see you! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Photo Finish: [simultaneously] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Rarity: Thank you both so much for doing this. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Hoity Toity: We missed you at Miss Pommel's debut in Manehattan last week.
Rarity: Miss Pommel is showing? I thought she was still making costumes.
Photo Finish: You haven't heard? Everypony who's anypony is talking about it. [clop, clop]
[shimmering magic sounds]
Rarity: Oh, my, they're absolutely stunning!
Applejack: It sure is great to hear Miss Pommel is doin' so well.
Photo Finish: Who is this?! Who speaks?!
Rarity: Oh, uh, this is Applejack. Another one of the judges.
Hoity Toity: So, judge, what do you think?
Applejack: Oh. Wow. Uh, that is just... wow. These are clothes?
[music winds down]
Photo Finish: Ze photo is upside-down!
Applejack: This is... [scoffs] She looks like a disco ball! Hah! D-Did they have to roll her down the runway?! [laughing] I can't believe anypony would actually wear this! [laughing] Am I right?
Hoity Toity: Oh, my!
Photo Finish: I faint! Ugh...
Rarity: [nervous chuckling] So funny... Ahem.
Applejack: Oh, gosh. I didn't mean to make her faint.
Rarity: Oh, don't worry about it, darling. Uh, it happens all the time. Besides, that dress did look a bit like a disco ball. Although, Miss Pommel is making the point that, no matter what we wear, it is a costume of some kind or another.
Applejack: I have no idea what you're talkin' about.
Rarity: And... that's okay. Let's go meet the designers and help them get ready for the show!
Rarity: Designers, welcome! Today you will work on your designs, and we judges will offer our guidance and advice as you prepare for tomorrow's big show.
Lily Lace, Starstreak, and Inky Rose: [excited murmuring]
Rarity: Lily Lace, tell us about your inspiration.
Lily Lace: [Valley girl accent] You guys, this morning, on my way here, I heard a bird singing literally the most beautiful song I'd ever heard! And I wanted to capture not so much the bird's song exactly but more like how the wind carried the bird's song!
Hoity Toity: Powerful yet at the same time fragile and delicate.
Applejack: Uh... Huh?
Rarity: Next up, meet Starstreak.
Starstreak: [panting] I'm not interested in what's already been done. Only what will exist... in the future!
Hoity Toity: Mmmm... Tomorrow's fashion belongs to those who hear it coming.
Inky Rose: I am Inky Rose.
[pause]
Photo Finish: You have a very focused vision! A strong sense of what you want! It's gut!
Rarity: Applejack, you've been rather quiet. What do you think?
Applejack: Well... it's a lot of black. It's kinda... depressing.
Inky Rose: How's this?
Hoity Toity: Makes a world of difference!
Applejack: Maybe to fashion experts like you. But to ponies like me, it's still black.
Hoity Toity and Photo Finish: [gasps]
Applejack: And I'm not sure how you wear singin' birds or the future. [to Rarity] I don't think they liked what I had to say.
Rarity: Ah, well, that's why you're here. Fashion needs a healthy dose of practicality now and then.
[hammering]
[rip]
Applejack: Are you puttin' holes in the clothes?! On purpose?!
Inky Rose: It's to create a distressed look.
Applejack: More like an old and tattered look! When a pony's old clothes get holes in 'em, they don't wanna go to the store to buy new clothes with holes in 'em!
Rarity: Okay, yes, not a very practical choice. Fashionable, but not practical.
Photo Finish: Simply shtunning!
Applejack: Sure, it looks pretty, but that's a lot of fabric. With the way it drags behind, it'll be covered in dirt in no time. Thank goodness I'm here. Otherwise, we'd have had holes in clothes and dirty dresses.
Lily Lace: [whimper]
Applejack: [groans]
Rarity: But of course, no look is complete without mane and makeup!
Applejack: So, uh... when are you gonna do her mane?
Starstreak: Ugh! It's already been done!
Rarity: You know what? Uh, I think we've given the designers enough guidance for today. Let's, uh, let them finish their work.
Applejack: Uh, can't wait to see what y'all do for the big show tomorrow!
Lily Lace: I literally don't know why...
Starstreak: [simultaneously] I am so offended.
Inky Rose: [simultaneous grumbling] That was so insensitive...
Rarity: [chuckling nervously, sighs]
[acoustic guitar chord]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack! On your way home? How'd the first day of the contest go?
Applejack: Heh! Great! At first, I didn't think I'd be much help. But thank goodness I signed on! Without me, they'd be doin' all kinds of crazy fashion-y things!
[off-key guitar chord]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rarity! Applejack says the contest is going great! Good thing she's there, huh?
Rarity: Yes, of course... Some of her thoughts are tough to swallow, but hopefully her candor will help the designers achieve the best designs possible.
Pinkie Pie: You seem a little stressed. Wanna try? Music is very relaxing. [strums guitar]
Rarity: Sure... Hmm.
[hard rock solo]
Rarity: [sighs] Much better.
Pinkie Pie: [blows]
Rarity: [inhale, exhale] I can meet my goals. Today is a fresh start. Good morning, everypony! Time for final adjustments before the show!
Hoity Toity: If buttons could convey sadness, you've done it.
Applejack: To me, they convey wakin' up an hour early just to button 'em all! And that's if you could reach most of 'em!
[buttons clattering]
Inky Rose: Is this better?
Applejack: Heh. There you go! Now when it's cold, you just slide it on ya, and you're set. Like a poncho!
Hoity Toity: Um... poncho?
Lily Lace: I attached each feather individually! [laughs] It took me for-literally-ever! [laughs]
Hoity Toity: Ohhhhh. You used hoof-cross-double-over stitches! [chuckles] They're perfect!
Applejack: Who cares if it's stitched perfectly? You don't need feathers on your head!
[feathers fluttering]
Rarity, Hoity Toity, and Lily Lace: [gasps]
Photo Finish: Gasp!
Applejack: My little sister tried to add some flair to her hat, and guess what it got her – an extra hour of work pickin' apples off the ground!
Photo Finish: A good start, but it needs more. No. No. No. Yes!
Hoity Toity: I'd go with this one.
Photo Finish: No, this one!
Applejack: [chuckling]
Photo Finish: Something is funny?
Applejack: What? Oh, no. Uh, it's just, I mean... Those belts look the same.
Hoity Toity: Well, that one completely changes the look. This one complements it.
Applejack: You're kiddin', right?
Rarity: Is everything okay?
Applejack: They're havin' a heated debate about those two belts.
Rarity: Ooh! Both good choices.
Applejack: No! There is no choice! They're the exact same belt! Ugh! This is so silly! Fashion is ridiculous!
All except Applejack: [gasps]
Rarity: You don't mean that!
Applejack: I do! I'm sorry, but that's my honest opinion!
Hoity Toity: Well! I never would've come if I knew we were going to be insulted!
Photo Finish: We go!
Rarity: No! Please! Come back!
Starstreak: If they're out, I'm out, too. I didn't get into fashion to design boring utilitarian clothes!
Lily Lace: I want to create elegance and drama! And this is literally the opposite of—! [scoffs] I mean—! [scoffs] I can't even! [guttural scoff]
Inky Rose: Yeah... no.
Rarity: [sobbing]
Applejack: What? I was just bein' honest!
Jack Hammer and Steam Roller: [grunting]
Rarity: Stop everything! There is no show! Take it all down!
Pinkie Pie: Rarity, what's going on? Is everything okay?
Rarity: No! It is the opposite of okay! The judges have quit! The designers have dropped out! The show is cancelled! All my good intentions squashed! [sobbing] And it's all Applejack's fault!
Applejack: Why are you mad at me?! I was just sayin' what I thought! And isn't that why you wanted me to be a judge?! For my honesty?!
Rarity: Of course! But you said fashion is ridiculous!
Applejack: But it's my opinion! And I'm not gonna lie!
Rarity: Oh—! [scoffs] Come with me!
[knock, knock!]
[door opens]
Strawberry Sunrise: [chewing] Mmmm! [gulp] Oh! [chuckling] Rarity! Oh, what a nice surprise!
Rarity: Hello, Strawberry Sunrise. This is Applejack. I was wondering if you could tell her how you feel about apples.
Strawberry Sunrise: Don't like 'em.
Applejack: What?! Why?! They're crunchy, they're sweet, they're delicious.
Strawberry Sunrise: [chuckles] They're not strawberries. [chewing] Mmmm! [gulp]
Applejack: You're right! Apples are better than strawberries!
Strawberry Sunrise: Only if, by "better", you mean "better at being disgusting".
Applejack: [stammering] You'd better apologize!
Strawberry Sunrise: Oh, I'm sorry... that you actually bite into those tasteless, mealyworm-filled things. Ohhh.
[door slams]
Applejack: What?!? [growling]
Rarity: Applejack, why are you so angry? It's just Strawberry's honest opinion. What's wrong with that?
Applejack: Well, that's fine if she doesn't like 'em! But if she knew how hard we worked to make our apples perfect, maybe she wouldn't be so mean about—! ...Ohhhhhhh... Oh, boy.
Rarity: Mm-hmm. Doesn't feel so good, does it?
Applejack: Nope. No, it does not at all. [sighs] I am so sorry, Rarity. I got so carried away with bein' honest, I guess I didn't think about how I was makin' others feel. [sighs] I'm a real rotten apple.
Rarity: I appreciate that, Applejack. That means a lot. I just wish you'd realized it before you ruined the fashion show.
Hoity Toity: I need to get some of these.
Photo Finish: It's the only way to travel.
[rumbling]
Photo Finish: What are you doing?!
Hoity Toity: Canterlot is that way.
Applejack: Yup. But you're not goin' back to Canterlot yet.
Applejack: Hey!
Lily Lace: What is she—?! [scoffs]
Starstreak: I don't know.
Inky Rose: Run.
Applejack: [panting]
Lily Lace, Starstreak, and Inky Rose: [panting]
Lily Lace: I can't even!
Applejack: Whew... Listen, y'all. I thought I was just bein' honest when I said all those things. But somepony helped me realize I was actually bein' hurtful. So for that, I apologize.
Photo Finish: Zo! You don't think fashion is ridiculous?!
Applejack: Uh... Well, I, uh... I still don't understand it. But I appreciate how much it means to y'all and how much hard work you put into it. I also know this contest is important to Rarity. So what do you say?
Hoity Toity: Well, I'd hate to have come all this way here and not see what you can do.
Starstreak: If they're judging, we're in.
Lily Lace: Under one condition. Literally.
Applejack: Anything.
Inky Rose: Untie us.
[clanking]
Applejack: Show's back on, fellers!
Hard Hat, "Rivet", Jack Hammer, and Steam Roller: [groaning]
Applejack: [grunting] Ahhh...
[sewing machine whirring]
[screech]
[muffled humming]
Applejack: [grunting]
[sewing machine whirring]
Applejack: Aah!
[fwump!]
Applejack: [laughing]
Starstreak: [laughing]
Inky Rose: Uh-uh. Uh-huh.
[shimmering magic sounds]
Pinkie Pie: ...And then, Applejack found me and told me to distract you for an hour. But the hour's up! Ta-da!
Rarity: B-B-But how?! They were all leaving. This was all coming down.
Lily Lace: You can thank Applejack. She literally did it all by herself.
Applejack: I don't think that word means what you think it means. But I did bust my tail because I know how much this means to you.
Rarity: Ohhhhh! Thank you, Applejack.
Photo Finish: We start now!
[techno music]
Rarity: First up, Lily Lace!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: Starstreak!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: Inky Rose!
[camera clicking]
Rarity: And now, it's time to vote. I am drawn to the beauty and drama of fashion, and nopony does drama better than Lily Lace, so I vote for her.
Lily Lace: It means sooooo much to me! I literally can't even! [guttural scoff]
Hoity Toity: Simplicity is the keynote of true elegance. That is why I vote for Inky Rose.
Inky Rose: You've... made me so... happy?
Photo Finish: Fashion is the art! I, Photo Finish, vote for Starstreak!
Starstreak: Wonderful to hear, darling.
Rarity: Well, it all comes down to you, Applejack.
Pinkie Pie: Can you believe it?! After everything that's happened, Applejack is the deciding vote! [screams] This is so exciting! Eeeeee!
Rarity: Well, Applejack?
Applejack: [sucks air through teeth] Uh... Heh. U-Uh... Uh...
Rarity: Lily Lace's clothes go here, Inky Rose's will go there, and Starstreak's there.
Applejack: Sorry, but I couldn't pick just one. They all did great, and in my opinion, they all deserve to win.
Rarity: And I agree. I told you your perspective would be beneficial.
Applejack: Is, uh, this one of your new designs, Rarity? It's, uh... Uh, the form is... reminiscent of, uh... I mean, it conjures up images of... uh... well, uh... I-I mean...
Rarity: Oh, that? No! I totally messed that one up! It's ghastly! Horrid! Absolutely terrible!
Applejack: Hah. Oh, thank goodness. 'Cause in my honest opinion... it's awful.
Rarity: Pffft!
Rarity and Applejack: [laughing]
Rarity: When you're right, you're right!
Applejack: I am relieved!
[credits]

A Royal Problem

Twilight Sparkle: [strained gasping]
Starlight Glimmer: I know! I can't believe it either! The map has never called me before!
Spike: I'm sure that's not why she looks... like that.
Twilight Sparkle: [babbles] Actually, it is. Well, it's that and the fact that you're being called to the royal palace! I mean, what in Equestria could be going on there?! You want me to come with you?! No. I shouldn't. The map just called you for a reason, right? Heh. Though maybe it's a mistake. Not because of you! Because it's never called just one of us before. [nervous chuckle]
Starlight Glimmer: I also wasn't nervous before, but now...
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. For all we know, it's something small. Like maybe the cooks are fighting over who has the best butternut squash soup. Or the royal hairdressers are fighting over a comb.
Spike: Or, you know, maybe the royal sisters aren't seeing eye-to-eye on something.
Twilight Sparkle: No! That's just crazy! Luna and Celestia would never fight. [beat] Again.
Princess Celestia: So the map sent you to solve a friendship problem?
Starlight Glimmer: Yes, princess.
Princess Celestia: Well, there's nothing wrong here. Right, sister?
Princess Luna: [sourly] No. Everything's perfect as usual, sister.
[theme song]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Psst! Pssst!
[music box playing]
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight? Is that you? How are you here?
Twilight Sparkle: [quickly] I'm not. I'm still home. It's an easy spell. I'll show you later. Anyway, enough about me. I had to check on you. Not in a meddling kind of way! In a friendly "how's it going?" kind of way. So, how's it going?
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Not great. I think the problem might be between Celestia and Luna.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no, that's terrible! I mean, what makes you say that?
Starlight Glimmer: You know how some ponies say nothing's wrong but you can tell something's definitely wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Noooooo... Heh.
Starlight Glimmer: That's basically what the princesses did when I said there was a friendship problem. Only they did it more, you know, regally.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I wish I could help you, but I can't – both for map reasons and because I have no idea! This is big! Like, really big! But I'm here if you ever need to talk. Or listen to music.
[music box playing]
Twilight Sparkle: Heh. Comforting, right?
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: Thank you so much for breakfast, princess. I can't believe you cook it yourself.
Princess Celestia: Of course, Starlight! I really enjoy doing it. It's a small way to say I care.
[door opens]
Princess Celestia: Good morning, sister! Join us?
Princess Luna: [sourly] Too tired. [chomp] Please excuse me.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Last night must've been really hard on her.
Princess Celestia: [sighs] Perhaps. But she is like this every morning.
[clatter]
Starlight Glimmer: So I think Luna may be hurting her sister's feelings without even realizing it.
Twilight Sparkle: Poor Celestia. That's so sweet that she makes her sister pancakes every morning.
Starlight Glimmer: She's your mentor. I think you might be biased.
Twilight Sparkle: Fair enough. So what are you gonna do?
Starlight Glimmer: Nothing, yet. I have to get all the facts. I asked Luna if I could spend some time with her this evening.
[knock, knock, knock]
[door opens]
Guard: Princess Luna's waiting for you, miss.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckling nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Good luck, Starlight!
Guard: [surprised whinny]
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: Wow, Princess Luna. You do this every night?
Princess Luna: Lavender's calming scent is known to aid dreamers in achieving a restorative sleep.
Starlight Glimmer: [sniffs] That's so thoughtful!
Princess Luna: I try my best to make sure the ponies in this castle sleep peacefully.
[door opens]
Fleur De Verre: And so, then I said, "Touring? More like 'boring'!" [airy laughter]
Princess Celestia: [laughs] Oh, you really are a card!
Princess Luna: [sighs] But as always, my sister is too busy having fun with dignitary ponies to acknowledge anything I do. Hmph!
Starlight Glimmer: So, both princesses are hurting each other without realizing it. And instead of talking about it, they're just getting colder and more distant.
Twilight Sparkle: And they're Celestia and Luna. So it's not like you can just confront them.
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, that's exactly what I was gonna do.
Twilight Sparkle: What?! Are you crazy?! I mean, heh, you do whatever you think is best. This is your mission.
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Gee, thanks for believing in me, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I do. But the last time the princesses fought, Luna turned into Nightmare Moon, and Princess Celestia had to banish her for a thousand years! That can't happen again!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I can't do nothing. The princesses aren't the best at communicating with each other.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Sorry. It's just, you said "princesses" and "aren't the best" in the same sentence, and it's making me nervous!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not much help, am I?
Starlight Glimmer: No!
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. I almost feel bad eating this. It's adorable.
Princess Celestia: Like I said, I enjoy this part.
[door opens]
Princess Luna: [sourly, mouth full] Hi.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, Princess Luna! Wait! [deep breath] As you both know, the map sent me here for a reason, and I... think I found out what it is.
Princess Celestia: Really? Oh, that is wonderful, Starlight! What is it?
Starlight Glimmer: You two.
Princess Celestia: Excuse me?
Princess Luna: [simultaneous] I beg your pardon?
Starlight Glimmer: I think you're accidentally hurting each other's feelings without realizing it. Princess Celestia, does it bother you that Luna never notices the wonderful breakfasts that you prepare for her?
Princess Celestia: Uh... Y-Yes. It does.
Starlight Glimmer: Princess Luna, tell Celestia how you feel about the fact that she never acknowledges the work you put into lining the hallway with lavender every night.
Princess Luna: I... Well, I... I-It's not the best feeling. [to Celestia] I'm sorry I never noticed that you make fruit faces on pancakes, but nights are long for me. You might be a morning pony, but I am half-asleep.
Princess Celestia: You think I don't get tired? I'm exhausted! Oh, I apologize for not noticing flowers in a wall sconce. But by the time I get to retire for the night, I can barely see straight! Even so, I still make an effort to smile!
Princess Luna: Like smiling is so hard.
Starlight Glimmer: I-I-I'm sure that's not what Princess Luna meant to say.
Princess Luna: Is that what exhausts you? Smiling and being adored by everypony?
Princess Celestia: And you have it so much worse, do you?! You've spent your evenings flitting around giving ponies lovely dreams! Oh, it sounds just awful!
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckles] Okay! I feel like we should step back, take a deep breath...
Princess Luna: Don't presume to know what it is like to govern the dream realm!
Princess Celestia: And yet you know exactly what it's like to be me?! Oh, please!
Starlight Glimmer: Enough!
[shimmering magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: There! Now you'll know exactly what it's like to... be each other. [gulp]
Princess Celestia: [gasps] What have you done?!
Starlight Glimmer: I... went with my gut?
Princess Luna: Switch our cutie marks back this instant!
Starlight Glimmer: My apologies, your majesties! But I can't, even if I wanted to. The spell lasts twenty-four hours. I-It may have been extreme, but, uh, I think it's still a good idea?
Princess Celestia: [serious] What?
Starlight Glimmer: Y-You said it yourselves! Neither of you believes your sister knows how hard it is to be you. So this is your chance to prove it.
Princess Luna: Well, I could use an easy day followed by a good night's sleep.
Princess Celestia: You can try. I haven't had an easy day in, well, ever! But now, I get to sleep, and tonight will be a breeze. All right, Starlight Glimmer. We will do this.
Starlight Glimmer: Good choice! Not that you had one. [chuckles]
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [snort]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm gonna stop talking now.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating] You switched their cutie marks?! The actual princesses' cutie marks?!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] I thought we moved past this. It was the right call! I hope.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating]
[pounding on door]
Guard: Are you okay in there?
Starlight Glimmer: I-I'm good! Just, uh... reading an exciting book! [whispering to Twilight] He's gonna think I'm nuts!
Twilight Sparkle: He's not the only one.
[drawer opens]
[drawer slams]
Princess Luna: As you can see, Celestia and I are switching places today.
[confused murmuring]
Princess Luna: I assure you, I am more than capable of handling all of Celestia's, heh, duties. Dismissed.
[nervous murmuring]
Princess Luna: So, what is first on my dear sister's to-do list?
Starlight Glimmer: It says you have a few public appearances. Store openings, judging the royal rose contest... You know, that sort of thing.
Princess Luna: [chuckles] Oh, I knew today would be easy, but I didn't think it would be that easy.
[happy montage music]
[scissors clipping]
[applause]
Princess Luna: [sniffing]
[whiffle!]
Princess Luna: [creaking]
[camera clicks]
Princess Luna: "Princess Luna Unhappy with Student Fundraiser"? But I wasn't unhappy!
Starlight Glimmer: Um, you are scowling.
Princess Luna: Well, I-I didn't mean to! I've been smiling all day! My cheeks hurt! I stopped for one second! And that's when he took the picture!
Starlight Glimmer: Guess smiling all day isn't as easy as you thought?
Princess Luna: It says here that, because of me, the school didn't raise enough funds to go on their field trip! I-I didn't mean for that to happen!
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: I know. But you can't dwell on that now. According to the list, some delegates are about to arrive for a luncheon. You need to dispel rumors of timberwolves in the White Tail Woods. The nearby towns have been in a state of panic for weeks.
Princess Luna: B-B-But I have to fix this!
Starlight Glimmer: You can't. You need to put on a brave face and help these ponies. It's what Celestia would do.
[door opens]
Princess Luna: [deep breath, shouting] Hello! Great news! There are no timberwolves!
[slam]
Delegate Ponies: No, there are definitely timberwolves!
Princess Luna: I'm sorry. But I couldn't stop thinking about those poor students. Normally, I have all the time in solitude I need to work through my problems at my own pace.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, your sister doesn't get that luxury.
Mayor Cream Cheese: [muffled] The princess will definitely side with me!
Mayor Baltimare: [simultaneous, muffled] Please see reason, Mayor Cream Cheese! I'm telling you, Baltimare...
Starlight Glimmer: Ready for the town hall?
Princess Luna: [sighs]
Mayor Cream Cheese and Mayor Baltimare: [continued arguing]
Mayor Baltimare: Glad that's settled.
Mayor Cream Cheese: [chuckles] And it only took three hours.
Mayor Baltimare: That got heated, didn't it?
Mayor Cream Cheese: Still on for golf?
Mayor Baltimare: Oh, absolutely.
Mayor Cream Cheese: [chuckles]
Starlight Glimmer: You made it to the end of the day. Yay?
Princess Luna: Hmm? Oh. Yes, uh... [yawns] I'm just going to turn in, then. Good light, Starnight. [yawns]
Princess Celestia: Oh, hello, Starlight. I don't know about you, but I feel very well-rested. Where's Luna?
Starlight Glimmer: Um, uh, she already turned in for the night.
Princess Celestia: Did she now? It seems my duties were harder than my sister expected.
Princess Celestia: Moon raised! It's even easier than raising the sun. [chuckles] What's next?
Starlight Glimmer: [snoring]
Princess Celestia: Of course. Everypony's asleep at night. Heh. Luna works alone... Oh, but it's nothing I can't handle. All I have to do is watch over Equestria, visit the dream realm, and protect ponies in their nightmares. My list was three times as long! [chuckles]
[lightswitches clicking]
Princess Celestia: All right. Everypony's asleep. You're talking to yourself, Celestia. Heh. But there's nopony else to talk to! [chuckles] Yet. I can talk to ponies in their dreams!
[vooooom]
[whimsical music]
Princess Celestia: Now, to save some ponies from their nightmares. Which aren't real, so it shouldn't be too hard, right? Right. Good call, Celestia! And I'm talking to myself again.
Starlight Glimmer: [screaming]
Pancakes: [in Celestia's voice] I care. I care. I care. [distorted] I care.
Starlight Glimmer: [screaming] Ugh! No!
Twilight Sparkle: This is big! Like, really big!
Starlight Glimmer: [yelping]
Princess Celestia: Starlight! I'm here now. Tell me what's wrong.
Starlight Glimmer: [panting] Going with my gut was the wrong call! I was supposed to bring you two closer together! But I've only driven you apart! If you two can't see why you need each other, then—!
Nightmare Moon: Then I am back! [laughing evilly]
Princess Celestia: Don't worry, Starlight. I know how to handle Nightmare Moon.
Daybreaker: Yes! But can you handle... me?! [laughing evilly]
Daybreaker: [laughing evilly]
Princess Celestia: This can't be!
Daybreaker: If Luna can turn into Nightmare Moon, you can absolutely turn into me — Daybreaker! The better, prettier, and more powerful version of you!
Princess Celestia: No! I'll never turn into you!
Daybreaker: Deep inside, you know how powerful you are. You don't need Luna.
Princess Celestia: That's not true! Even when we were apart, I knew I needed her!
Daybreaker: [laughs] Oh, please! You don't need anypony! You can do whatever you want. And all you have to do is get rid of anypony who stands in your way!
[magic zap]
Daybreaker: I never should've banished you to the moon! I should've destroyed you!
Starlight Glimmer: No, you can't do that! Day, night, sun, moon — Equestria needs both of you!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Without balance, there's no harmony!
[boom!]
Nightmare Moon: [growls]
Daybreaker: Who needs balance when you can have it all?! [laughs]
[magic zap]
Daybreaker: Ugh!
Nightmare Moon: You can't get rid of me so easily, sister! Unless you plan on smiling me to smithereens!
Princess Celestia: Enough!
Daybreaker: [laughs] I told you I was more powerful than you!
[magic humming]
Daybreaker: Ugh. So much black. We get it. You're sad. You could really use some... sun!
[flames roaring]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
[shimmering magic sounds]
[flames roaring]
Princess Celestia and Starlight Glimmer: [grunting]
Starlight Glimmer: This is all my fault! I never should've gone on this mission! Now Equestria is doomed!
Dream Ponies: [singsongy] That smile's too wide... It's obviously not real...
Dream Pony: Why don't you want us to go on our field trip?
Princess Luna: [through teeth gaps] I don't...!
[teeth clattering]
Princess Luna: I mean, I do!
Dream Ponies: [singsongy] That smile's too wide... It's obviously not real...
Princess Luna: Celestia! I'm so glad you're...!
[magic zaps]
Princess Luna: [speaking normally] I've seen a lot, but I haven't seen this before.
Princess Celestia: It's Starlight Glimmer's. She's afraid this is what will happen if we continue to fight!
Starlight Glimmer: [sobbing] What was I thinking?! I'm never going with my gut again!
Princess Luna: If you don't fix this soon, it could have a grave consequence on Starlight's psyche.
Princess Celestia: But my magic isn't powerful enough! I thought if we worked together...!
Princess Luna: I have your magic, remember? It doesn't work in the dream realm. It has to be you!
Princess Celestia: Oh, Luna, I can't do this! I was wrong! Your job is so incredibly hard! You have to battle nightmares and work in the darkness and do it all alone! It takes such a brave, strong pony to do what you do!
Princess Luna: And that pony is you. I walked a day in your shoes. I thought all you had to do was smile and be adored all the time, but I was wrong. There is so much more to it than that.
Daybreaker: [laughing maniacally]
[magic zaps]
Nightmare Moon: [screams] Ugh!
Daybreaker: [laughing maniacally]
[flames roaring]
Starlight Glimmer: Don't do this to each other!
Princess Luna: In order to defeat Daybreaker, you need only to trust in your strength as I do.
[magic zaps]
Daybreaker: You can't destroy me! I'm everything you want to be!
Princess Celestia: No, you're not! You are not real, and you will never exist again!
Daybreaker: [groans]
[pop!]
Princess Luna: You did it!
Princess Celestia: Only because you were here. I don't know how you do this alone.
Princess Luna: So, um, did you talk to yourself?
Princess Celestia: Um, a little.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: Is this really happening, or is this still a dream?
[vooooom]
Princess Luna: Welcome back, sister! I know you had a long night, so I made you some pancakes!
Princess Celestia: Oh! Heh. H-How... eh, nice. Ahem. [chews, gags, gulps] They're... delicious. Heh. Thank you.
Princess Luna: [laughs] I know that face! They're not. I know you have to be perfect for everypony else, and you do an amazing job. But you don't have to do it for me.
Princess Celestia: In that case, they are terrible!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [laughing]
Princess Luna: I know!
Princess Celestia: [sighs] But it means a lot that you tried. I love you, sister.
Princess Luna: I love you too.
Starlight Glimmer: So... this was real. [yawns] Or... was it not real, and this just happened now and-and not in my dream? I'm so confused.
Princess Celestia: [laughing] It's all real. It was the right call going with your gut.
Princess Luna: The map was wise to send you, Starlight. Nopony else would have been so bold as to do what you did.
Starlight Glimmer: That's a nice way of saying I came dangerously close to messing everything up.
Princess Celestia: It was just what we needed. The experience has made us closer than ever.
[shimmering magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: Wait. I'm not doing this.
[cutie mark ringing]
Princess Celestia: I believe that one means your mission is complete.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow! I can't wait to tell Twilight!
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [quickly] I already know! I mean, I don't know everything. I just got here to bring you your toothbrush! So this is just a friendly visit! Not interfering because I was worried! I wasn't! I knew you could do it, and I'm so, so, so, so, so proud of you! Tell me everything! Start from after I hyperventilated, and don't leave out any details!
Princess Luna: Oh, uh, by the way, there's a field trip you need to make happen and a – ahem – timberwolf issue you need to address.
Princess Celestia: W-What?
Princess Luna: Oh! Look! There's the sun! Time for me to turn in!
[credits]

Not Asking for Trouble

[ponies chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, wow! Oh, my gosh!
[zoom!]
Pinkie Pie: Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh! Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh! Sorry, Applejack!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Twilight! Where are you?!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm in here, Pinkie! What is it?
Pinkie Pie: You'll never guess what I just got!
[door opens]
Applejack: Is everythin' okay? We heard a lot of "oh-my-gosh"-in', and we weren't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
Pinkie Pie: A good thing!
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "To pink pony who lives with baked goods." It's from the yaks! [reading] "Yaks cordially invite pink pony to Yickslurbertfest. Come. Now."
Pinkie Pie: Prince Rutherford is officially inviting me to Yickslurbertfest in Yakyakistan!
Rarity: What is Yickslurbertfest?
Twilight Sparkle: It's a sacred yak holiday. How did you get Prince Rutherford to invite you?
Pinkie Pie: I subtly hinted for an invitation in my letters to him.
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] May I please come to Yickslurbertfest? Pretty please? Pretty please? Pretty please? Pretty-pretty-pretty-pretty-pretty please?!
Pinkie Pie: After my seventeenth scroll, I think he picked up what I was putting down. [giggling excitedly]
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling excitedly]
Twilight Sparkle: You know, we still don't know a lot about the yaks. So I think you should definitely go to Yickslurbertfest, Pinkie.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy: [general agreement]
Fluttershy: Fostering friendships is what ponies do.
Pinkie Pie: I won't let you down! It's an honor to be the official friendship ambassador to the yaks!
Twilight Sparkle: Um, that's not an official position.
Pinkie Pie: Yet. You're the princess of friendship. [singsongy] You can make it happen.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, you got it.
Pinkie Pie: Ahem? You have to make it official!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Right. I hereby make Pinkie Pie the official friendship ambassador to the yaks!
Pinkie Pie: This is officially the most exciting day of my life!
Pinkie Pie: Yoo-hoo! Gummy! Pay attention! We're in the middle of an official friendship ambassador road trip game!
Gummy: [blink]
Pinkie Pie: That's better. Okay. I spy with my official friendship eye something that is blue!
[long pause]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] We're here! Oh, and by the way, the answer was sky. I win!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I know. That was a hard one, Gummy. You're the best official friendship travel companion ever!
[crunch]
[rumbling]
Pinkie Pie: What is going on?
Prince Rutherford: Yaks destroy!
Yaks: Yaks destroy!
Pinkie Pie: Yikes!
Prince Rutherford: [laughs] Pink pony!
Pinkie Pie: It's an honor to [grunts] be here, prince. Uh, did something terrible happen? Is Yickslurbertfest cancelled?!
Prince Rutherford: No! This Yickslurbertfest, where yaks come together to stomp.
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhhh. I didn't know that was part of the sacred holiday. So this angry display of destruction is part of the festivies. Huh. And here I thought you yaks were just in a bad mood.
Prince Rutherford: No. Stomping relaxes yaks. [grunting] Yaks' head never been so clear.
Yaks: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: This is awesome! [grunting]
Prince Rutherford: Stop!
Yaks: [grunts]
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony better check self before wreck self. That is century-old sacred yak twig, passed down from generation to generation.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Oh, no! I'm so sorry! I was just trying to get into the spirit of Yickslurbertfest. [distressed noises] Maybe I can fix it!
Prince Rutherford: [snort, laughs] Yak kidding! [grunting] Yak got pink pony good. Horn bump! [grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Phew! Oh, you sure did, Prince Rutherford. [chuckles, to Gummy] That was a close one, Gummy! This trip has to be perfect! After all, we're not just visiting as friends. We're on official friendship ambassador business!
Prince Rutherford: Less talking, more stomping!
Pinkie Pie, Prince Rutherford, and yaks: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Stompie-stompie-stompie-stompie!
Prince Rutherford: Now, I take pink pony on Yakyakistan tour.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks, Prince Rutherford, but, heh, I've been to Yakyakistan before.
Prince Rutherford: Yak know. But thought pink pony might not recognize town since decorated for Yickslurbertfest.
Pinkie Pie: You're right! It's so different, now that you've pointed it out. [chuckles]
Prince Rutherford: Oh, yaks not just have eye for decorating. Yaks also amazing builders!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] No way! I thought you hired professional contractors!
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: Here. Uh, let me help you with that.
[splat]
Prince Rutherford: This ceremonial yak fire pit, where yaks tell stories.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! I have so much to officially tell the ponies when I get back.
Prince Rutherford: This yak eating hut. Hut where yaks eat.
Pinkie Pie: [slurp, chomp, gulp] Mmmm! The perfect balance of vanilla extract.
Prince Rutherford: Yaks grow own vanilla bean. Nothing imported. [chomp, gulp]
Yaks: [chomping and gulping]
Pinkie Pie: [chomp, gulp]
Prince Rutherford: Yak sleeping hut. Hut where yaks sleep.
Pinkie Pie: Huh!
[screech]
Yaks: [sleepily muttering and bleating]
Pinkie Pie: [snoring]
Prince Rutherford: Yak music hut. Hut where yaks enjoy beautiful music.
[oriental music]
Pinkie Pie: This is beautiful and—!
Prince Rutherford: Shhh! Pink pony ruin with talking!
Prince Rutherford: ...And that how yaks defeat evil and save world!
Pinkie Pie: [claps, in deep voice] Pink pony like yak story!
Prince Rutherford: Ho-ho! Yak impressed! Pink pony can almost be honorary yak.
Pinkie Pie: [speaking normally] Official friendship ambassador and honorary yak?! [squeals] Pink pony's title card is full! [in deep voice] Horn bump! [speaking normally] Oh, wait! I don't have a horn! [gasps] Prince Rutherford, can I get some honorary yak horns?
Prince Rutherford: No. Yak horn too heavy for small pony head.
[deep horn sounding]
Prince Rutherford: Yickslurbertfest stomp time!
Yaks: [grunting]
[rumbling]
Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
Prince Rutherford: Stomp harder! Yaks extra happy! Ponies and yaks friends!
Pinkie Pie and yaks: [grunting]
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: Is this part of the festival?
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony ask too many questions.
Pinkie Pie: Everything is buried in snow! What are we gonna do?!
Prince Rutherford: Uhhh... Y-Yaks fine! Snow falls from mountain all the time!
Pinkie Pie: All the time?
Prince Rutherford: Every Yickslurbertfest.
Pinkie Pie: Okay. Avalanches like this completely bury all your homes every Yickslurbertfest? Really?
Prince Rutherford: This is... big avalanche. But not a problem, for yaks are tough! Yaks dig through snow! Won't take long.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, good. You have an emergency plan in place.
Yaks: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Here, let me help!
[drill sounds]
Yaks: [exhausted grunting]
[drill sounds]
Pinkie Pie: Whew. I'm tired. We must be almost done. There's still snow everywhere?!
Prince Rutherford: Yaks keep digging!
Yaks: [exhausted grunting]
[rumbling]
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: [whine]
Prince Rutherford: Yaks stop digging! Make situation worse!
Pinkie Pie: Okay. Don't worry, Prince Rutherford. I'll go back to Ponyville and ask for help. Twilight and the others will be happy to come dig the snow away. After all, "many hooves make light work." Right, Gummy?
Prince Rutherford: Yaks no need pony help!
Yaks: [general agreement]
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Well, I'm sure it'll be okay, 'cause you probably have a Plan B.
Prince Rutherford: Yes. Yaks wait for snow to melt.
Pinkie Pie: All this snow?! It'll take a thousand moons before it melts!
Prince Rutherford: Yaks known for their patience.
Pinkie Pie: Well... be that as it may, in the meantime, what will you eat? Where will you sleep?
Prince Rutherford: Dah! Yaks can make this work! Hardship make yaks the strong yaks that yaks are! If pink pony disagrees, then she can leave Yakyakistan and never return!
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] Uh, of course pink pony agrees with you! [nervous chuckle] Hey, let's try out some snow recipes! [grunting] Snow cakes! Snow spaghetti! Snow sandwiches! [nervous chuckle, chomp] Mmmm! Yaks can make this work!
Prince Rutherford: [yawns] Yak tired. Yak retire to new sleeping hut.
Yaks: [shivery snoring]
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: [groans]
Yaks: [chomping]
Prince Rutherford: [gulps] Snow cake good!
Pinkie Pie: [chomp, gulp, shiver] Mmmm! Just the right balance of cold and water!
[chomp]
Prince Rutherford: Aah! Stop! Yak eating new eating hut!
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Psst! Prince Rutherford. What are we doing?
Prince Rutherford: It's obvious. This new music hut.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. So we're swaying to—
Prince Rutherford: Shhh! Pink pony ruin snow music with talking!
[stomach rumbling]
Yak Kid 1: What was yak?
Yak Kid 2: Yak stomach rumbles. Yak hungry.
Yak Kid 1: Shhh! Prince yak will hear yak!
Yak Kid 2: But snow worse than yak ever seen!
Yak Kid 1: Yak know. Yak hungry, too.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Gummy, did you hear that? They can't make it work!
Prince Rutherford: Yaks stop swaying! Music over!
Pinkie Pie: If Twilight and the others knew what was going on, they would be here to help in a pony's heartbeat. We have to convince Prince Rutherford that asking for help is okay. Will you help me, Gummy?
Gummy: [low gurgle]
Pinkie Pie: Thank you! And see? Asking you to help wasn't hard at all.
Gummy: [slurp]
Pinkie Pie: Pink pony has gathered you around the new ceremonial yak fire pit to tell you a story! A yak tradition, right?
Yaks: [general agreement]
Pinkie Pie: Yay! This is a story about a group of... uh, goats!
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Who lived in the desert. There was a sandstorm, and their entire village was buried in sand. There was nothing they could do. They knew they could not survive by only eating sand...wiches!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Get it?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: ...Okay. Anyway...
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Finally, the goats' brave, wise leader – let's just call him Prince... uh... Drutherford [giggles] – decides that they couldn't do it by themselves. So he asked the neighboring town of, uh, Bovineville to come help them. [giggles] Yeah! Cows! The magical cows helped the goats, everyone survived, and lived happily ever after!
Pinkie Pie: Because they asked for help. The end!
Yaks: [cheering]
Pinkie Pie: So what is the moral of that story? Is it – A – asking for help is okay? B – asking for help saves the day? Or – C – asking for help is good for everypony?
Prince Rutherford: D – goats weak and horrible! Magic bovines need to stay out of goats' business!
Pinkie Pie: Um... [nervous chuckle] Not quite. Any yak wanna shout out another answer?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: [whines]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Prince Rutherford. I wanna talk to you about something. Uh, what are you doing?
Prince Rutherford: Uh, yak's snow bed got a little melty last night.
Pinkie Pie: Okay, yeah. That's what I wanna talk to you about. You know, these yak snow beds are the fluffiest I've ever slept in. They're so comfortable, you forget that it's just a cold block of ice. And the yak snow sandwiches? Mm-mmm! I hate it when food burns your mouth or overwhelms it with flavor!
Prince Rutherford: Ah! Yak hates that, too!
Pinkie Pie: You know who would really, really enjoy these snow sandwiches? Twilight Sparkle and the other ponies! Oh, hey! I have an idea! Why don't I go to Ponyville and bring them back here?
Prince Rutherford: Ponies like snow sandwich?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Ponies love snow sandwiches! And hey, while they're here, you can ask if they'll clear the snow away. Fun, right?
Prince Rutherford: When prince was little yak, prince stomped on ground too hard. Made deep hole and fell into hole. Ice froze over hole. Prince waved to friends and family from inside frozen hole. Waited for spring thaw. Prince survived on own.
Pinkie Pie: W-W-Wait a minute. You spent the whole winter in a hole?
Prince Rutherford: Yes. And yak never asked for help!
Prince Rutherford and yak: [grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Okay. First of all, how did you make such a deep hole from stomping? And how did it freeze over so fast? And how could you see your family and friends to wave to them from inside a frozen hole? Even if all that was possible, how did you breathe in there?!
[slam!]
Prince Rutherford: Yaks don't ask for help!
Pinkie Pie: But the yaks are hungry! And who knows when the snow will melt? I just don't understand why—
Prince Rutherford: Ah, yes. Is clear now that pink pony does not understand yaks. Honorary yak status rescinded! Bang! Pretend there is door! I just slammed it!
Pinkie Pie: Fine! Be stubborn!
Pinkie Pie: [groans] Those yaks are so stubborn! They refuse to ask for help, even though they need it! Well, this official friendship ambassador is gonna take matters into her own hooves! I'll show them!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] You're right, Gummy. I am too worked up. Road trip game would officially calm me down. I know! Let's play Twenty Million Questions! You think of something, then I'll ask you twenty million questions until I can come up with what you're thinking of! Let's go! Is it blue? Is it green? Is it red? Is it greenish-red? Is it reddish-blue? Is it bigger than a bread box? Is it smaller than a bread box? Is it a bread box? Is it bread?
Pinkie Pie: ...Is it teeth? Is it Granny Smith's dentures? Is it you? Is it a rooster? Is it a red rooster? Is it a red rooster eating corn? Ah! Used up all twenty million questions! Oh, well. We're here anyway.
Prince Rutherford: Official pony balloon still here? Pink pony gone because pink pony not tough like yaks! Horn bump in agreement! Now!
Yaks: [grunting]
Prince Rutherford: [chomp, chewing] Pleh! Snow sandwich lose novelty! Snow couscous for dinner!
Yaks: [disappointed grunt]
Pinkie Pie: Then Prince Rutherford said, [imitating Prince Rutherford] "Bang! Pretend there is door! I just slammed it!"
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie—
Pinkie Pie: So then pink pony said, [high-pitched] "Fine! Be stubborn!"
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, we have to help the yaks.
Pinkie Pie: So in conclusion, we have to help the yaks!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm?
Applejack: Just go with it, hon.
Twilight Sparkle: Great idea, Pinkie. We'll be happy to help the yaks. This is what friendship is all about.
Applejack: Hey! I'll bring apples. This season's batch are extra juicy.
Rarity: And I shall provide the yaks with Equestria's finest textiles. They'll be silky and warm with hints of gold to complement their horns—
Pinkie Pie: Stop! We can't bring the yaks any pony stuff!
Fluttershy: Why not?
Pinkie Pie: The yaks are very proud. They won't ask for help. You know what they say – "you can lead a yak to water, but you better not let him know you're doing it."
Rainbow Dash: Nopony says that. Do they?
Twilight Sparkle: Okay then. This'll be an official covert friendship mission.
Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity: Mm-hmm!
Rainbow Dash: You got it!
Pinkie Pie: [excited giggling]
Pinkie Pie: Is it yellow? Is it slimy? Is it slimy yellow?
Rainbow Dash: We're not playing that!
Pinkie Pie: First, we have to infiltrate the yak compound. [grunts]
[clang]
Pinkie Pie: These walls are high. Sneaking in will not be easy.
[zoom!]
Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
[gate creaks]
Rainbow Dash: Or it's super-easy 'cause I'm awesome.
Pinkie Pie: Go ahead! I'll catch up! You all know what to do!
[thud]
Prince Rutherford and yaks: [snoring]
[montage music]
Prince Rutherford: [yawns, gasps] What happened?!
Yak: Snow melted! Prince Rutherford was right!
Yaks: [cheering and laughing]
Prince Rutherford: [laughs] Yaks tough! Yaks wait patiently! Yaks win!
Applejack: Hoo-wee! Helpin' to fix an entire yak village sure takes a lot outta ya.
Twilight Sparkle: Let's get out of here before—
Prince Rutherford: Oh, pink pony!
Pinkie Pie: [nervous gasping] Just play it cool! [to Prince Rutherford] We didn't help fix Yakyakistan! [nervous chuckle] No, no! We're just here for the snow sandwiches! But then we got here, and the snow was gone, so we thought we'd hit a diner on our way back to Ponyville! Bye-bye!
Prince Rutherford: Wait. Yak not mad at pink pony.
Pinkie Pie: Yak not?
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony help yaks without yaks asking. Means pink pony understand yaks.
Pinkie Pie: I do? Huh! I do!
Prince Rutherford: Pink pony the best kind of friend. Officially honorary yak!
Yaks: [cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Yippee! My own honorary yak horns! Now I can officially horn-bump! Whoa!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah... You know, this is a little heavy for my small pony head.
Applejack: [chuckles] Need some help with that, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: [deep voice] Pink pony no need apple pony's help! [giggling and snorting, normally] Just kidding! Pink pony got apple pony good!
Mane Six: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Seriously, this is heavy.
[thud]
[credits]

Discordant Harmony

[birds chirping]
Fluttershy and Discord: [laughing]
Fluttershy: Care for a carrot-ginger sandwich?
Discord: Oh! You remembered to cut off the crusts for me.
Fluttershy: Of course I did. I know how you like them.
[pop, pop, pop!]
[poof, poof, poof!]
Discord: You really do make the best finger foods.
Discord's finger: [high-pitched burp]
Discord: What do you say?
Discord's finger: [high-pitched] Excuse me.
Discord: [scoffs] I really can't take them anywhere.
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[splat!]
Discord: Can I trouble you for another sugarcube?
Fluttershy: Oh, no. I'm so sorry, but I seem to be out.
Discord: Well, I can just pop us in some more.
Fluttershy: Oh, that's all right. I need to go to the market anyway. I have to restock my pantry for our tea party next week.
Discord: Oh. I never realized how much work you put into hosting these tea parties.
[fluttery music]
Fluttershy: Oh, it's really not that much.
Discord: No, no, no, no, no! I've been taking advantage of your hospitality for far too long. It's high time I do something about it. What to do, what to do...
Discord 2: Why don't you host the next tea party?
Discord: I've got it! Why don't I host the next tea party at my place?
Discord 2: Hey, that's my idea.
Discord: [snaps fingers]
Discord 2: Why didn't I see that coming?
[whistle!]
[pop!]
[theme song]
Discord: So, Fluttershy. Mmmm! What do you think of my brilliant, genius, amazing idea of having the next tea party at my place? [snaps fingers]
[faucet running]
Fluttershy: Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to go through any trouble.
Discord: You? Trouble? Never! I insist! [snaps fingers]
[sheep baaing]
Fluttershy: Then count me in. I'm already looking forward to it.
Discord: Me, too! I'm so excited! I can't wait! No, really, I can't! How about we have the tea party tomorrow afternoon?
Fluttershy: Sounds good to me. You know, Discord, I've never been to your house before.
Discord: Well, that's okay, because I've never hosted a tea party before.
[boom!]
Discord: Oh! I've never hosted a tea party before! So much to do! [sips tea] Thank you so much for the tea and nibblies, but I really must be going!
Fluttershy: Uh, Discord? Before you go, would you mind helping me tidy up?
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: There you go. Back to normal, just the way you like it. See you tomorrow!
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: I can't wait!
[poof!]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[poof!]
Discord: Okay. Since Fluttershy always goes out of her way to host the perfect tea party for me, how do I make my tea party for her even more perfect?
Pearly Stitch: I'm sorry, dearie. Were you talking to me?
Discord: Actually, madam, I'm talking to myself.
Discord 2: Well, I'm not talking to you!
Discord: It's for Fluttershy!
Discord 2: Oh, all right. No more holes, though. [snaps fingers] You have to knock this tea party out of the park for her. She was our first friend, after all.
Discord: You don't have to tell me that. She gave us a chance when no other pony would.
Discord 2: She makes us want to be a better draconequus. Fluttershy deserves the best of everything.
Discord: Of course! I should get her the best of everything. Why didn't I think of that? ...Well? Are you going to answer me or not?
Pearly Stitch: Me? Uh, I thought you were talking to...
Discord: No time! I'm off to prepare a tea party worthy of Fluttershy! [snaps fingers]
[jetpack engine whirring]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: Excuse me. Is this where Fluttershy usually buys her tea?
"Jasmine Leaf": Why, yes, it is.
Discord: Oh, wonderful! I'll be enjoying her company tomorrow, so I will be needing your very best tea, please. Something especially special.
"Jasmine Leaf": I'm sure Fluttershy would enjoy some of our rose hip green tea.
Discord: [chuckling] Oh, interesting. Does it decorate your hips in roses or turn you green?
"Jasmine Leaf": Uh... neither? It just tastes good.
Discord: How boring. Pass. Hold on! Ginseng tea! Now that sounds promising. What does it sing? I'm partial to something upbeat and jazzy.
"Jasmine Leaf": Again, it's just tasty like all of our tea here.
Discord: So... all of this is just tea you simply drink?
"Jasmine Leaf": Uh-huh.
Discord: Ohhhh, it seems that I got here just in time. [snaps fingers]
[tea bags singing]
Discord: [laughs] Singing ginseng! I'll take it!
"Jasmine Leaf": Are you sure you're friends with Fluttershy? You seem so very different from her.
Discord: Well, of course we're friends! She gets me, and you obviously do not! [imitating "Jasmine Leaf"] "Are you sure you're friends with Fluttershy?" [scoffs] The very nerve!
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: I'm sorry. Do you validate?
[poof!]
Discord: Hello!
"Raspberry Vinaigrette": [yelps] Uh, can I help you find something?
Discord: Yes, you can. Your finest tea set, please. I want only the best for my friend Fluttershy.
"Raspberry Vinaigrette": Uh... you're friends with Fluttershy?
Discord: Yes... judgy... clerk... pony! Why is it such a surprise? Sure, she's on the quieter side, and I'm a bit, well, more showy. But I'll have you know we're besties. And that's why I need the [echoing] best tea set!
"Raspberry Vinaigrette": Uh, perhaps then you'd be interested in our classic tea-for-two set.
[tea pouring]
Discord: A teapot that just pours tea? How positively dreadful!
"Raspberry Vinaigrette": But that's all teapots are supposed to do.
Discord: Not anymore! [snaps fingers] Much better! Don't wrap it. I'll walk it home. [snaps fingers]
[bits jingle]
Discord: Now, let's see. I have the perfect tea and the perfect tea service. What else do I need for the perfect tea party? Oh! Decorations, of course!
Discord: Good... but not nearly good enough for Fluttershy. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Piñata: [sneezes]
[volcano rumbling]
Discord: [chuckles] Better. Oh! I'll need napkins. I'll simply make them... ah, well, I could... or... No. I've got nothing. How do I make these better? What should I do? Make them... [gasps, snaps fingers] Make them glow! Oh, that's not good enough for Fluttershy. Should I make them fly? Glow, fly, and [chuckles] and fold! Glow, fly, fold into fun shapes, perhaps?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, Discord? Are you okay?
Discord: Pinkie Pie! Just the pony I need. [snaps fingers] As the party pony and Fluttershy's close – but not best – friend, I need your advice. I'm hosting a tea party for her, and it has to be perfect. No! It has to be even better than perfect!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Discord. You're waaaaaay overthinking things. All you have to do is make Fluttershy feel comfortable. It should be pretty easy for you. You know her so well!
[ding!]
Discord: And that's why you're the party expert. Thank you, Pinkie Pie. I feel so much better now.
Pinkie Pie: Eh, it's what I do.
[shopping cart wheeling away]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[bits jingle]
Pinkie Pie: [to Cherry Fizzy] Excuse me! Where can I find the glowing, flying, self-folding napkins?
[poof!]
Discord: Make Fluttershy feel comfortable, make Fluttershy feel comfortable, comfortable, comfortable... Well, I mean, that shouldn't be a problem.
[whimsical music]
[lava bubbling]
[teapot clanking]
Piñata: [sneezes]
[tea bags singing]
Discord: Oh, dear. That might be a problem.
[tea bags singing]
Discord: Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe Fluttershy would be comfortable having a tea party here.
Piñata: [sneezes]
[splash!]
Discord: Maybe I just need another set of eyes on this. What do you think?
[poof!]
Discord 2: [gasps deeply]
Discord: That bad?
Discord 2: No, worse! Fluttershy would never be comfortable here! What have you done?!
Discord: I was trying to make the tea party different and special like me. But all I did was make it chaotic and weird... like me. What if those ponies at the tea shop and the china shop were right? What if Fluttershy sees how crazy this place is and realizes how different we are? And then doesn't want to be friends anymore?! [hyperventilating]
Discord 2: Relax! We can fix this. Time to call in the team.
[door opens]
Discord 2: Okay, chief. What's the plan?
Discord: What to do, what to do, what to do... Oh!
[bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk!]
Discord: Got it! We know Fluttershy, and we know what she likes. First of all, we need to get rid of all the new stuff.
Discord 2: You heard him! Strike the new stuff!
[poof!]
[vacuum whirring]
[poof!]
[jar clinking]
[smack!]
[boing]
[poof!]
Piñata: Bleh!
Discord 3: Piñatas hate bats.
[tea bags singing]
[tea bag yelps]
Discord: Enjoy your all-expense-paid trip around Equestria!
[poof!]
Discord: Well done, everybody, but there's still more work to do.
Other Discords: [grumbling]
Discord: We need to make this place more Fluttershy and less, well, me.
[poof!]
Discord: One thing I know about my dear friend is that she loves comfy chairs. But not on the ceiling. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: And I'm almost certain she likes stairs...
[poof!]
Discord: ...that lead somewhere.
[poof!]
[stretch, whip!]
Discord: And although we've never discussed it, I'm pretty sure Fluttershy likes gravity. [snaps fingers]
[crash!]
Discord: Okay, fellas! This is a good start, but stand back. Let me show you how it's done. We just need some of this. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: And a little of that. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Other Discords: [sounds of awe]
Discord: And a whole lot of those! [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: Phew!
[fan whirring]
Discord 2: How boring. I mean, normal.
Discord: Thank you!
Discord 2: Good job. The window treatments are perfectly unexceptional.
Discord: But we're not done yet.
Discord 2: You don't mean...
Discord: Mm-hmm.
All Discords: Makeover!
[dance music]
Discord 2: Hating it. Hating it. Hating it. Hating... how much I love it!
[scissors snipping]
[whip!]
[whip!]
[bees buzzing]
Discord: [screams]
Discord: Okay, let's give these conversation cards a whirl. [clears throat, reading] "It is very nice to see you today." "Have you read any good books lately?" "Your garden looks positively lovely."
All Discords: [cheering]
[poof!]
Discord: Huh. Quite strange. For the first time in my life, I don't feel quite strange. In fact, I feel... completely normal. Everything is finally perfect for Fluttershy.
[clock chiming]
Discord: And just in time. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Fluttershy: Discord! I'm so excited to finally see where you live!
Discord: G-Greetings, friend. Please do come in.
Fluttershy: I can't wait to see how... uh... Oh.
[clock ticking]
Discord: Is something amiss?
Fluttershy: Um, no, no, not at all. It's just not what I expected. It's quite... lovely.
Discord: Please have a seat.
Fluttershy: Where is it?
Discord: Right here.
Fluttershy: Oh.
Discord: I think you'll be quite pleased with the green tea I've selected for us today.
Fluttershy: Oooh! Does it actually turn us green? Is it really envious of the other teas? What's it do, what's it do?!
Discord: Uh, well, it tastes delicious.
Fluttershy: Oh... Okay.
Discord: What particularly nice weather we're having.
Fluttershy: Yes... Yes, we are.
Discord: [sips tea] It did rain the other day, however.
Fluttershy: Uh-huh...
Discord: But the weather today is particularly nice. ...As I previously mentioned. Would you care for some milk toast?
Fluttershy: Uh, Discord, you don't seem to be yourself today. Are you feeling all right?
Discord: Whatever do you mean?
Fluttershy: Well, it's just... what you're wearing. And also what you're saying. And also the way you're saying it. And, um, pretty much everything else.
Discord: Oh, dear Fluttershy, worry not. I can assure you that for the first time, I'm feeling perfectly normal. Now, let me top you off.
[clatter!]
Discord: Oops! Butterfingers! How embarrassing.
[fizzle]
Fluttershy: Uh, what's going on?
Discord: I have... no idea.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Discord! You're starting to fade away!
Discord: Oh, you don't say... Have you read any good books lately? [chuckles nervously]
Discord: Huh. Have you tried the scones? They're positively delectable. The secret is in the extra butter.
Fluttershy: What is wrong with you?! You're acting so normal, which is not so normal for you!
Discord: Well, whatever do you mean? This is just me being me.
Fluttershy: No, it's not! It's you being like everypony else!
Discord: [gasps]
[clatter]
[fizzle]
Fluttershy: Eeeek! The more you do it, the more you fade away! Of course! You're a creature of pure chaos! Being normal is destroying you!
Discord: [laughs] How interesting. That reminds me of something I heard at the market today.
[fizzle]
Fluttershy: Stop it! Please! You need to go back to being your not-normal normal self! Quick, Discord! Uh, do something chaotic before it's too late! Please!
Discord: Do something chaotic? I'll try...
[squeak]
Discord: Ohhhh, that's not good...
Fluttershy: [whimpers] Then I guess it's up to me. [whimpers] Okay. All right. How about... [whimpering]
[clatter]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! I tipped over that cup! That's pretty chaotic, right?
Discord: [yawns]
Fluttershy: [whimpers] What if I... [chomping, mouth full] Oh, my! Talking with food in my mouth after taking a bite from every sandwich! [gulps] How wacky! Doing anything for ya?
[fizzle]
Fluttershy: [whimpers] Okay. Hmm. Maybe I need to start thinking like you. Ohhh... What would Discord do? Well, I guess he'd probably make another version of himself to bounce ideas off of.
[clatter]
Fluttershy: But one wouldn't be enough. He'd need more! Way more!
[zipping]
Fluttershy: [to her reflections] Hey there, Fluttershys! Any ideas on how to Discord up this tea party? [higher-pitched] Hi, Fluttershy! Thanks for asking! First of all, you gotta redecorate this place. I mean, this is where Discord lives! And you're telling me there aren't any stairs that lead to nowhere? [speaking normally] On it!
[zipping]
[crash]
Fluttershy: Better... but it still needs something. Now, that's more like it!
[shimmer]
Fluttershy: [gasps] It's working! Okay, what else? Furniture on the ground? So predictable! Let's put them where they don't belong!
[hammering, zip!, hammering]
[shimmer]
Fluttershy: And he'd have a chaise lounge that would actually chase you! Because he's funny like that! Bet you can't catch me!
Discord: [chuckles lightly, snaps fingers, gasps, laughs loudly]
[chaise lounge panting]
Fluttershy: Oh! And Discord would have a special kind of tea! Like a ginseng that could really sing!
Discord: I would. I-I would! [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[tea bags singing]
Fluttershy: And he'd serve it on a floating table! We never talked about it, but I'm pretty sure Discord hates gravity!
Discord: I do! Who wants to be tethered to the ground when you can do this? [snaps fingers]
Fluttershy: [laughs] Now this is exactly what I was hoping for!
Discord: This is what you were hoping for? But this is the complete opposite of your tea parties.
Fluttershy: I wouldn't expect you to throw a tea party the way I would. We're different!
Discord: I know. I was afraid that if you saw exactly how different we are, you wouldn't want to be friends anymore.
Fluttershy: What?! Why would you ever think that?
Discord: Because you and I don't make sense to anypony else.
Fluttershy: That may be true, but we make sense to me. I never would've thought to make singing ginseng before I met you. But you've opened me up to so many more possibilities and impossibilities. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I like you because you're so different from me.
Discord: You do?
Fluttershy: Of course I do, silly! Besides, what's discord without a little chaos?
Discord: [chuckling] Well! In that case, I certainly don't need to be wearing this.
[rip!]
Discord: Oops! [laughs] I forgot that I still had this on!
[poof!]
Fluttershy: [giggling] Now, about that tea party...
Fluttershy: You know, your garden really is looking lovely.
Discord: Why, thank you for noticing. I also couldn't help but notice that you need a refill.
[tea pouring]
Piñata: [sneezes]
Fluttershy: Gesundheit.
Discord: It really is nice having you here.
Fluttershy: I'm happy to be here. And I really do like your place. Because it's so you.
Discord: Why, thank you, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Now, how about we try some of those delicious-looking sandwiches?
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: [chuckles] You read my mind!
Fluttershy: [giggling]
[tea bags singing]
Fluttershy and Discord: [laughing]
[credits]

The Perfect Pear

[ponies chattering]
Apple Bloom: Hmmm.
[ponies continue chattering]
Apple Bloom: [gasps] Thank you! You must be new. I'm Apple Bloom.
Grand Pear: I'm Grand Pear.
Apple Bloom: Welcome to Ponyville!
Goldengrape: [scoffs] You mean welcome back to Ponyville. Grand Pear was originally from here before he opened his famous pear jam store in Vanhoover.
Apple Bloom: Really? Why'd ya move back?
Grand Pear: I, uh... [smacks lips] Well, I needed a change of pace.
Apple Bloom: Huh. [chomps] This is delicious! [chomps] I can't believe I've gone my whole life without ever havin' this.
Grand Pear: Glad you like it.
Apple Bloom: How much?
Grand Pear: Nah.
Apple Bloom: Wow! Thanks, Mr. Grand Pear, sir! It was real nice meetin' you!
[ponies continue chattering]
[door opens]
Applejack: Glad you're back, sugarcube. Just in time for breakfast for dinner.
Apple Bloom: I got the perfect topper for flapjacks at the market today.
Applejack: [gasps] Pear jam?! What were you thinkin'?!
[distant door closing]
Applejack: Quick! Hide it!
[wood breaking]
Apple Bloom: Huh?
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: What's the big deal? It's just pear jam.
Applejack: The big deal is that there is a long-standing feud between the Apples and the Pears!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Apple Bloom: Why?
Applejack: Why?! ...Well, uh, a-actually, I-I'm-I'm not really sure. You have any idea, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Uhhh... nope.
Apple Bloom: Then I guess we should ask Granny?
Granny Smith: Ask me what?
[dirt shuffling]
[thud]
Applejack: Uh, what goes better with apple fritter flapjacks – caramel syrup or praline!
Granny Smith: [blows raspberry] Praline.
[clatter]
Granny Smith: [sniffs] Oh-ho-ho, that smells great, Applejack. I'ma go wash up for supper. Be right back.
[door closes]
Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big McIntosh: [sighs]
Applejack: Listen, sugarcube. Anytime Big Mac and I ever asked Granny about the feud or the Pears, she'd get so upset she couldn't talk. Best not bring it up.
Apple Bloom: O-Okay, but that Grand Pear was really nice to me, even though I'm an Apple. I wonder what happened.
Applejack: Me, too. But if we can't ask Granny, I don't know who— We can ask Goldie Delicious! If anypony knows about the feud, it's the family historian!
Apple Bloom: I'm in! What do you say, Big Mac? Siblin' trip first thing tomorrow?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
[knock, knock]
[cat yowls]
[crash!]
[cats meowing]
Goldie Delicious: Now, that's how you make an entrance! Or is it an exit? [laughs] Well, anyway, it's so wonderful to see you three. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Applejack: Well, Goldie, we were hopin' you could tell us about the, uh... feud with the Apples and the Pears.
Goldie Delicious: Oh. Oh, dear. Well, does Granny Smith know you're here?
Apple Bloom: No, ma'am. But I ran into Grand Pear yesterday, and he was real nice. Maybe the feud was a misunderstandin' or somethin', and we can fix it?
Goldie Delicious: Oh, well, I don't know about that, little one. But if it's a story you're after, I suppose you have a right to know. Now, let's see, I got a stack of books here someplace... Oh! Apple Family History, Volume 137! Hmm, hmm... Here we are. "Feud with the Bears". I mean, "Pears". My eyes ain't what they used to be. A long time ago, Sweet Apple Acres wasn't the only farm in Ponyville. In fact, there was another one just right next door.
Young Granny Smith: Come and get your apples! Nothin' sweeter than bitin' into a crisp apple on a beautiful fall day!
Young Grand Pear: Unless, of course...
[ponies gasp]
Young Grand Pear: ...you could bite into a juicy pear.
Young Granny Smith: [scoffs] Please. Pears are just what happens when you ain't no good at farmin' apples.
Young Grand Pear: Pears are nature's candy. Apples are sour. Like the expression on your face right now. [chuckles impishly]
Goldie Delicious: [voiceover] And so it went. Granny and Grand Pear were always at each other on who was the best farmer or who took better care of their trees. If Granny read to her trees at night...
Young Granny Smith: [reading] "And then, the little tree reached his branches up to the moon, and the moon said, 'Good night.'"
Goldie Delicious: [voiceover] ...why, then Grand Pear had special blankets made for his trees so they wouldn't get cold.
Young Grand Pear: Good night, trees. [kisses] I've got you covered. Mm-hmm.
Young Granny Smith: [growls]
[book thuds]
[Apple family ponies grunting]
Goldie Delicious: [voiceover] In fact, all the Apples and the Pears were rivals to the core! The only Apple and Pear who ever got along were Bright McIntosh and Pear Butter.
Young Bright McIntosh: [whispering] Pssst! I'm not supposed to talk to you.
Young Pear Butter: [whispering] I'm not supposed to talk to you either.
Young Bright McIntosh: [whispering] My mom says if you hold a buttercup under your chin, it'll make your chin glow. But it doesn't work on me. See?
Young Pear Butter: [whispering] Does it work on me?
[heart beating]
Young Bright McIntosh: It sure does, Buttercup.
Young Pear Butter: Buttercup. I like that name.
Applejack: [voiceover] Wait an apple-pickin' minute!
Applejack: Bright Mac and Buttercup? Those are our parents' names!
Goldie Delicious: Of course Buttercup was just a nickname your father gave your mother. Pear Butter – well, that was her given name.
Applejack: Are you sayin' our mother was a... Pear?!
Apple Bloom and Big McIntosh: [deep gasp]
Big McIntosh: So we are half-Pear?!
Applejack: I can't believe it! How did we not know?!
Goldie Delicious: Well, uh, nopony called your mother Pear Butter.
[cats meowing]
Goldie Delicious: And her cutie mark was a preserve jar, but pear butter don't look too much different from apple butter, so no clues there.
Applejack: [sighs] Is there a-anythin' else you can tell us about them?
Goldie Delicious: I know they loved each other very much. They had that magical, star-kissed, other-side-of-a-rainbow kind of love. You couldn't be around them too long and, and not feel a little bit lighter than air yourself. [chuckling]
Apple Bloom: Anything else?
Goldie Delicious: Hmm... I'd need Volume 138 for that.
[cheetah grunts]
Goldie Delicious: I'm sure I could wrangle it... in a, in a couple of days.
Applejack: [sighs] That's all right, Goldie. It was... nice just to hear—
Goldie Delicious: Ooh-hoo-hoo! I just remembered somethin'! Your dad and his buddy Burnt Oak would get in all kinds of trouble together as colts.
Applejack: Burnt Oak? The firewood salespony? I haven't seen him in ages.
Goldie Delicious: He and your dad were thick as thieves back in the day. Y'all should talk to him.
[thud]
[cheetah grunts]
Burnt Oak: Well, well, if it isn't the Apples. What can I do for ya? I know you're not here for firewood. You got more trees than anypony in Ponyville.
Applejack: You're right. We're not here for that.
Burnt Oak: Come to ask about your dad?
Big McIntosh: Uh, eeyup.
Burnt Oak: I wondered if you might. Hoped you would. It's nice to talk about him. [laughs] We had a lot of laughs. In fact, this one time...
Burnt Oak: [voiceover] ...we were racin' to see who could till the fastest, and Bright Mac was leavin' me in the dust. He would've won, too, if he wasn't so... distracted.
Bright Mac: Whoa!
[crash]
[splash]
Pear Butter: [spits]
Grand Pear: Oh!
[splash]
Grand Pear: Pear Butter, what did you do?!
Pear Butter: I-I'm not sure.
Bright Mac: She didn't do it, sir.
Grand Pear: Excuse me?
Bright Mac: The water silo. It was my fault.
Pear Butter: [giggles]
Grand Pear: [snorts] You owe me a new silo, boy! [to Pear Butter] And you, come with me. No daughter of mine is gonna make goo-goo eyes at an Apple!
Burnt Oak: Grand Pear never would've known it was your father's fault. But there was no way he'd let your mother take the blame for somethin' he did.
Apple Bloom: So Dad was super honest! Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh, Applejack?
[thunk]
Burnt Oak: Your dad worked the Apple farm all day and then headed over to the Pears on his breaks to fix the water silo. I didn't see him for weeks! Not that he minded. Gave him a chance to get to know your mom.
Apple Bloom: Did you know our mom, too?
Burnt Oak: Buttercup was a real peach of a Pear. But if you want to know more about her, you should ask Mrs. Cake.
Apple Bloom: Mrs. Cake?
Burnt Oak: She and your mom were inseparable when they were fillies.
Applejack: Then let's go! Thanks, Burnt Oak!
Big McIntosh: Uh, would it be okay if we stopped by again sometime to hear more stories?
Burnt Oak: I'd like that very much.
[the Cakes' theme playing]
[door opens]
Mrs. Cake: Well, cinnamon sugar on toast! All three Apple siblings!
Applejack: Hi, Mrs. Cake. We heard you and our ma used to be real good friends, and we were hopin' you could tell us a bit about her.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, I would love to. I never knew the right time to bring it up. But I'm so glad you came! [laughs] Uh, for starters, did you all know that it was your mom who convinced me to pursue baking?
Apple Bloom: But isn't your name Mrs. Cake?
Mrs. Cake: Not always. Back when I was Chiffon Swirl, heh, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. But one day, your mom brought me some candied pears, eggs, flour, sugar, and vanilla, and told me to just be creative! Next thing I knew, I was whipping up pear upside-down cake, and I got my cutie mark! It was like she knew what I was supposed to do long before I did.
Applejack: [to Apple Bloom] Just like you, sugarcube! Or rather, you're just like her!
Mrs. Cake: That was the first of many cakes for me, and Buttercup was with me through it all.
Mrs. Cake: [voiceover] She'd be my taste-tester, help with the decorating, and prep new ingredients. Over the years, I perfected my recipes. Your mom did so much for me. One day, I wanted to surprise her with a cake.
Bright Mac and Pear Butter: [laughing]
Bright Mac: [sniffs] Achoo!
Pear Butter: [blows, giggles]
Bright Mac and Pear Butter: [laughing]
[twig snaps]
Pear Butter: [gasps] Oh. It's just you.
Chiffon Swirl: Sorry. I just brought you a little something to say thank you. But I see you're busy. Hah.
Pear Butter: [giggles] Promise you won't say anything?
[bush rustles]
Granny Smith: [whinny, snort] What in tarnation are you doin', Bright Mac?! We do not fraternize with Pears! [spits]
Chiffon Swirl: You and Bright Mac? Whew, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Your families hate each other.
Pear Butter: I can't help it. We just sorta... happened.
Mrs. Cake: [voiceover] Then Pear Butter told me the sweetest love story I have ever heard.
Bright Mac: Happy one hundred and thirty-one thousand, four hundred and fifty-six hour anniversary, darlin'.
Pear Butter: What? [laughs] That's way longer than we've been together.
Bright Mac: I know, but it's the anniversary of the first time I called you "Buttercup". It's okay if you didn't get me anythin'.
Pear Butter: Actually... I did.
Bright Mac: A guitar? For me? But... [strums guitar] I don't know how to play.
Pear Butter: Quiet, you.
[Pear Butter]
We're far apart in every way
But you're the best part of my day
And sure as I breathe the air
I know we are the perfect pair
On a prickly path that goes on for miles
But it's worth it just to see you smile
And I cannot be pulled apart
From the hold you have on my heart
And even if the world tells us it's wrong
You're in my head like a catchy song
Bright Mac: Wow. It's just... wow.
Pear Butter: Do you like it? Be honest now.
Bright Mac: It's the best gift you could've given me!
[Pear Butter]
The seasons change and leaves may fall
But I'll be with you through them all
And rain or shine, you'll always be mine
On a prickly path that goes on for miles
You're the only one who makes it all worthwhile
And you should not blame me, too
If I can't help fallin' in love with you...
Bright Mac: Hey, no fair. I was gonna tell you the same thing.
Pear Butter: You're just mad I beat you to it.
Bright Mac: I'm tellin' ya, I was gonna pull you up, cover your eyes, lead you over here... and say, "Surprise!" And then you'd say, [imitating Pear Butter] "Oh, Bright Mac, I love it!" [speaking normally] And then I'd say I love you. Too bad it didn't work out though.
Pear Butter: Eeyup. Too bad.
[paper ripping]
Grand Pear: The Pears are moving!
Pear Butter: [deep gasp]
Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big McIntosh: [deep gasp]
Applejack: I mean, I figured the Pears moved, but I didn't know all that stuff happened before with Granny and Grand Pear.
Apple Bloom: It must've been really hard on our parents.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, it was.
Pear Butter: We're moving?! To Vanhoover?! But that's so far!
Grand Pear: It's what's best. There's acres of untouched land and a warehouse to make our jams. We'll get to expand our business and get away from those gosh-darned Apples.
Mrs. Cake: [voiceover] Pear Butter was devastated. But seeing no way out of it, she did what she had to do.
Bright Mac: So that's it?
Pear Butter: What do you want me to do, Bright Mac? We're movin'. I love you, but [tearing up] I have to stay with my family.
Mrs. Cake: [voiceover] Then Bright Mac did the most romantic thing I've ever seen anypony do.
Apple Bloom: What?! What?!
Applejack: [simultaneous] What?! What did he do?!
Big McIntosh: [simultaneous] Tell us! Tell us!
Mrs. Cake: We're gonna need one more pony to tell that story.
Apple Bloom: Mayor Mare, you knew our parents?
Mayor Mare: Not as well as Mrs. Cake, but I did play a part in their love story. The night before the Pear family moved, Bright Mac asked me to meet him at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres.
Pear Butter: [gasps]
Bright Mac: I don't want to be apart from you. Ever. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I'm sure of us. So sure that I'd marry you today.
Pear Butter: I would, too!
Young Mayor Mare: I think that's my cue.
Mayor Mare: [voiceover] I had the honor of officiating your parents' secret wedding, and it was perfect. Bright Mac knew Buttercup wouldn't want a big splash.
Apple Bloom: [voiceover] Reminds me of somepony else I know.
Big McIntosh: [voiceover, chuckling] Eeyup.
Mayor Mare: [voiceover] So they had a special way to seal their vows.
Young Mayor Mare: I now pronounce you—
Granny Smith: What is goin' on?! What's with all these here candles?!
Grand Pear: Pear Butter! Where are ya? You're supposed to be packing! [grimly] What are you two doing?
Bright Mac: Ma, Grand Pear, Buttercup and I are in love!
Granny Smith and Grand Pear: What?!
Pear Butter: And we'll be married as soon as Mayor Mare says...
Young Mayor Mare: Oh! [quickly] I now pronounce you husband and wife!
Pear Butter: Doesn't that feel nice? [kisses]
Bright Mac and Pear Butter: [kissing]
Granny Smith: What are you talking about, married?! You two can't be married!
Grand Pear: Finally, something we can agree on. Pear Butter, enough of this nonsense. We're movin'! And you gotta stick with your family!
Pear Butter: But... the Apples are my family now, too.
Grand Pear: You can't be serious. Are you choosin' to be an Apple over being a Pear?!
Pear Butter: Are you makin' me choose?
Grand Pear: Yes. I am.
Pear Butter: Then yeah. I guess I am.
Grand Pear: Fine!
Pear Butter: [sobbing]
Applejack: I can't believe Grand Pear just up and left Ma like that! No wonder Granny never told us about any of this.
Mrs. Cake: These things are never easy.
Mayor Mare: And it's hard to know when it is a good time.
Applejack: It seems to me that now's as good a time as any.
Apple Bloom: To talk to both our grandparents.
Apple Bloom: Excuse me? Grand Pear?
Applejack: I'm Applejack, and this here's Big McIntosh. But you already know who we are, don't ya?
Grand Pear: Sure do.
Apple Bloom: Did you really move to Ponyville just for a change of pace?
Grand Pear: No.
Apple Bloom: Then you came here because you're sorry and that you wanted to get to know us, too?
Grand Pear: I'm... so sorry. I-I-I was just so angry, and... well, I-I never...
Apple Bloom: It's in the past, Grand Pear. Oh! Can I call you Grand Pear-Pear?
Grand Pear: [chuckles] Sure can.
Granny Smith: Now where'd you all get to? I ain't seen hide or hair of ya's all day.
Applejack: We've been all over. Learnin' about our parents.
Granny Smith: Guh... Y-You have?
Applejack: And our grandfather.
Granny Smith: So... you're back, huh?
Grand Pear: Sure am. [mumbling] Never should've left.
Apple Bloom: Findin' you and learnin' all about Mom and Dad, I feel like I found a piece of me I didn't even know was missin'.
Applejack: Hearin' their story makes me feel closer to them somehow.
Granny Smith: I'm sorry. I should've told you all about 'em sooner.
Grand Pear: And I should've been here. Ah, I can't believe I let a silly feud keep me from my family.
Applejack: Nothing's keepin' ya from us now. Let's not miss anythin' else.
Granny Smith: Applejack's right. Welcome back, prickly old pear. Heh.
Grand Pear: [chuckles] Thanks, you old crabapple.
Apple Bloom: Now that we're all together, there's somethin' we want to show you. Mom and Dad left us somethin' to remember them by. Come on!
[bushes rustling]
Grand Pear: Whoa.
Granny Smith: [sounds of awe] It's beautiful.
Grand Pear: It's... impossible.
Applejack: If anything's gonna make it through, it's apples and pears.
Grand Pear: [chuckles]
["You're In My Head Like a Catchy Song" instrumental plays over credits]

Fame and Misfortune

[foals laughing]
[splat]
Toola Roola: Oops! Sorry, Princess Twilight. That was meant for her. Incoming!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
[clink]
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: Toola Roola, Coconut Cream, what are you doing?!
Coconut Cream: That was meant for my ex-friend.
Toola Roola: I'm not your ex-friend – you're my ex-friend!
[multiple splats]
Twilight Sparkle: Both of you, stop!
Twilight Sparkle: ...So you see, friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt, it's worth fighting for.
Coconut Cream and Toola Roola: Awww! [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. That sounds familiar. [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: [humming and hmm-ing] No... Aha! Here it is.
Starlight Glimmer: What is that?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Starlight, don't judge a book by its cover. This is the friendship journal my friends and I used to keep. It's filled with all the things we've learned, like: "Friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt, it's worth fighting for."
[paper rustling]
Starlight Glimmer: I'll judge a book by its cover just this once.
Twilight Sparkle: [grumbles]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for coming, everypony. I've got a surprise for you.
Fluttershy: What is it, Twilight? Do I need to prepare myself?
Twilight Sparkle: It's this!
[magic zap]
Rarity: Ugh, what is that thing? Why is it so smelly?
Pinkie Pie: Wait a minute. [gasps] Is this our old friendship journal? I haven't seen this thing in forever!
Applejack: Hoo-wee! It's lookin' a little, uh... overripe.
Rainbow Dash: I'll say!
[pages turning]
Rainbow Dash: There's a smushed apple in Applejack's lessons.
[page turns]
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy's lessons are so small, you can barely read them.
Fluttershy: I, uh, wanted to leave room for all of you.
[pages turning]
Rainbow Dash: I-I don't even know what this is.
Rarity: It is called calligraphy, darling. If you're going to make words, at least make them fabulous.
[page unfolding]
Applejack: Looks like you got a little aggressive with your friendship lessons, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: What can I say? When I learn something, I learn it hard.
[confetti explodes]
Rainbow Dash: [unimpressed] I found Pinkie's page.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Well, I am surprised!
Twilight Sparkle: That wasn't the only surprise.
[magic zap]
[pages rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: Ta-da! Starlight and I decided to make one for each of you!
Applejack: That's amazin'! A perfect copy!
Starlight Glimmer: I learned the spell years ago when I needed to make copies of a certain— [long pause] [clears throat] ...manifesto.
Rarity: [sniffs] Ahhh! Even better than a perfect copy.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'd forgotten all about this lesson.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] Remember this one from when I helped Daring Do? "Never underestimate the power of friends who always got your back."
Pinkie Pie: Aww, Cheese Sandwich! Party cannon! Ah! Birth-iversary!
Starlight Glimmer: After Twilight remembered the journal, I had so much fun reading all the stuff you've all learned, I just had to have my own copy.
Twilight Sparkle: And that brings me to the second part of the surprise. My idea. How would you girls feel about making our journal available for everypony? If we can get these lessons into other ponies' hooves, maybe they'll benefit from them.
Fluttershy: Well, I think that's a great idea.
Pinkie Pie: I'm in! Yay!
Applejack: W-We always said we wanted to.
Rarity: Sounds fabulous.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] I'm awesome.
[pause]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah. Uh, good idea.
[montage music]
[foals chattering]
Toola Roola: No! I don't wanna play with you anymore!
Coconut Cream: Why not?! You love playing hopskotch!
Toola Roola: No, you do because you always win!
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, girls. Couldn't help but overhear. You might want to take a breather, maybe read Rainbow Dash's chapter on Rainbow Falls? It might help.
Toola Roola: Sure, Princess.
Apple Bloom: Thanks, Twilight! The friendship journal's makin' us super popular!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
Apple Bloom: We were thinkin' of puttin' together a cutie mark summer camp. Now, everypony's definitely gonna sign up for it! This is gonna be awesome! [laughs] Cutie Mark Crusaders, whoo.
Starlight Glimmer: A cutie mark camp is a great idea.
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but the purpose of the journal isn't supposed to be marketing.
Twilight Sparkle: I just hope those foals actually learn something from our lessons.
Starlight Glimmer: They will! I'm sure ponies all across Equestria will— Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, hello! Can I... help you?
Out of Town Pony: We're here all the way from Fillydelphia because we got copies of your friendship journal!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! How wonderful! What was your favorite friendship—
Out of Town Pony: Will you sign them?!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, uh, I guess so. So, what did you think of the lessons?
Out of Town Pony: Oh, we haven't read them. These are keepsakes. We gotta keep them in mint condition. Ha-ha.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
Out of Town Pony 2: Wow, that was worth the trip!
[visiting ponies chattering excitedly]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Starlight Glimmer: Don't worry, Twilight. I'm sure lots of other ponies are being inspired to be better friends.
Diamond Cutter: Well, I for one found the journal terribly illuminating.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Daisy: I agree. I'm seeing sides of these ponies I didn't know were there. I only wish they'd left Rarity out. She clearly doesn't belong in that book with the rest of them.
Diamond Cutter: Oh, I know! Who does she think she is? Certainly she did a fine job setting up the Ponyville Days celebration, but does she really believe it was a success just because of her? [inconsiderate laughter] The nerve!
[paper rustling]
Rarity: [bawling]
Twilight Sparkle: But that's not what she was saying! Rarity!
Rarity: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, poor Rarity. She overheard all the mean things those ponies were saying. She must be devastated. I'm going after her.
Starlight Glimmer: Go ahead. I'm gonna have a chat with these two.
Rarity: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, wait!
[smack]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Isn't it amazing? Our journals are everywhere!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I've got to—
Pinkie Pie: Ponies keep stopping by to tell me my entries are hilarious!
[scribbling]
Pinkie Pie: I even had somepony come all the way from Las Pegasus to say how much he liked my lessons!
Twilight Sparkle: I am so glad to hear some ponies are being inspired by the journal.
Cherry Berry: Hey, look! There's Pinkie Pie! The funny one!
[ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Giggly feedback is the best kind!
[ponies laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, at least you're getting a positive reaction. I just saw Rarity, and I'm afraid this whole journal thing really upset her.
Pinkie Pie: Aww, that's too bad.
[ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Wait. That wasn't even funny.
[ponies laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: O-kay. Well, I guess I'll catch you later.
[beat]
Cherry Berry: [coughs]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Yup. Bye, Twilight!
[ponies laughing]
Sassaflash: Hah! Classic Pinkie! Oh, she's even funnier in real life!
Pinkie Pie: You've known me for years!
[ponies laughing]
[pages rustling]
Rainbow Dash: Maybe it's time to call it a day.
"Princess Erroria": I wipped out all the Twilight Spawkle lessons 'cause they were getting in the way of the good ones.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean you skipped the lessons? We've all had valuable experiences.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, here's a great idea! Why don't you guys talk to Twilight for a while? So I can get back to things like working and napping and, well, pretty much anything else.
"Princess Erroria": Aw, we don't wanna hear her bowing lessons! Come on! Tell us again about when you met Dawing Do!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs nervously] Again? Haven't we already covered that one? A couple dozen times?
"Princess Erroria": We can't get enough of it! Come on, you don't want to disappoint your fans!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... It's just that I, uh, really need to get those storm clouds back in their... pens.
"Princess Erroria": Oh, cool! We'll come along. You can tell us the stowy there.
Pegasus Fillies: Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, what's going on now?
Fluttershy: Please, just leave me alone!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, what's wrong?
Glasses Stallion: We want answers!
"Lemon Chiffon": Yeah! We're entitled to know!
Twilight Sparkle: What is it, everypony?
"Lemon Chiffon": We wanna know why Fluttershy keeps learning the same thing over and over again! Be assertive already!
"Wisp": Even I've learned more than she has! Why can't I be in the book?!
Starlight Glimmer: What? Really?! Are you attacking my friend because you want to be in a book?!
Fluttershy: It's okay. I got this, girls. [inhales] Listen up! I am more assertive! And yes, it took me a while to get there. But can you honestly say that you could learn something one time and completely change who you are? [beat] I didn't think so.
Glasses Stallion: Wow. You're way different from the Fluttershy in the book. I don't know how I feel about that.
Fluttershy: [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: It feels like everypony in Equestria is missing the "friendship" part of the friendship journals.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, are you alright? [yelps]
[smash]
[sewing machine whirr]
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?
Rarity: Why, I'm creating a gown, darling!
Twilight Sparkle: For what?
Rarity: I don't know! I'm stress-sewing! [frustrated noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Stress-sewing?
Rarity: When I overheard those two at the cafe, I suddenly understood why I've been getting cancellations for days!
Starlight Glimmer: What? Why are ponies cancelling their orders?
[squeak]
Rarity: Because nopony likes me any more! They're boycotting me! [grunts]
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure if I go out there and talk to those ponies, they'll see that they're being unreasonable.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Applejack: [panting] I need a hundred blankets, and I need 'em now! Sorry, Twilight.
Rarity: Right away, pony-who-still-likes-me!
Applejack: I don't need nothin' fancy.
Twilight Sparkle: What's the matter, Applejack?
Applejack: I'm popular, Twilight! I'm popular, and I don't like it one bit!
Starlight Glimmer: You go ahead. I'll stay here.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales and exhales]
[sewing machine whirr]
[loud pony chattering]
[squeaking]
Apple Bloom: [frustrated groan]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, who are all these ponies?
Applejack: They call themselves the Sweet Apple Admirers. They say they read my journal entries, and they felt like a part of the family. And now they actually wanna become part of the family!
[camera flashes]
Twilight Sparkle: Your journal entries?
Applejack: Yeah, you know, all the stuff about how friends are like family and whatnot?
Twilight Sparkle: Can't you get rid of them?
Applejack: And kick out my own family?! Granny Smith, hang on! Let me help!
Sweet Apple Admirer: There she is!
Ponies: Yee-haw!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I wish we'd never released that journal.
Starlight Glimmer: There you are! Okay, I just left Rarity. I think she's doing better, and— Oh, boy. Window-staring, huh? Was it that bad at Sweet Apple Acres?
Twilight Sparkle: It's bad everywhere. I thought I was doing something good. I thought I was helping. How could our friendship journal have led to so much... anti-friendship?!
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, Twilight, it's not your fault.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course it's my fault! If I hadn't had the big idea to make copies, none of this would be happening! I'm afraid I made life awful for my friends!
Starlight Glimmer: I really think you're being too hard on yourself.
Twilight Sparkle: Am I?!
[knocking]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[loud chattering]
[doors slam]
[crunch]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Applejack: I didn't know where else to go! I've got so much cookin' and cleanin' and family-in' to do... I ain't got time for anythin' else!
Pinkie Pie: At least ponies aren't laughing every time you talk! Not even I want to be funny all the time! I'm telling you, my days of hilariosity-ness-ness are over!
Rainbow Dash: You think you've got problems? I know I'm awesome, but I can't even go to the bathroom without somepony trying to tell me how cool I am! [beat] Uh, Rarity? What are you wearing?
Rarity: My emotions, darling! Stress couture!
Fluttershy: I don't know what I'm gonna do if I have to defend myself one more time!
Rarity: Hmm? Oh, uh, sorry, darling. Force of habit.
[curtain drawing]
[loud muffled chatter]
Applejack: [snoring]
[pop]
[crunch]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, so maybe they are having a hard time with it. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, I did! Releasing the journal was my idea, and it backfired in ways I could never have imagined!
Starlight Glimmer: It's not your fault. It's everypony else's! They're just focusing on the wrong things, and— [gasps] Wait here! I've got an idea!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't wait any longer. I've got to fix this.
[ponies arguing loudly]
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony, please stop!
[ponies arguing loudly]
Reporter Pony: Princess Twilight, I'm with the Canterlot Chronicle. Quick question — what would you say to ponies who wonder why you moved to Ponyville in the first place?
Twilight Sparkle: I moved here to learn about friendship. That's why the journal even exists. It took some time for me to get the hang of it, but it was each of these ponies standing next to me who taught me the lessons in those journals. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy, too. Then it was all of you. I've learned so much from—
Reporter Pony: What I mean is, some ponies would argue that it doesn't seem believable that the six of you would be friends.
Twilight Sparkle: "Believable"?
Reporter Pony: Well, sure. I read this journal cover to cover, and I have to say your character would have been much more interesting if she'd stayed in Canterlot.
Twilight Sparkle: My character?! We are real ponies! This journal is a record of things that actually happened to us! We made mistakes, and we learned from them!
Diamond Cutter: What about Rarity? Are we really supposed to believe everything she wrote in there?
"Princess Erroria": That's why you wanna be Team Dash! She's the only one that didn't weally need to learn anything, because she was alweady so cool.
Pearly Stitch: Twilight was better before she got wings!
"Lemon Chiffon": Fluttershy is just so painfully shy, it's hard to relate! I mean, come on!
[angry chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait a minute, everypony!
Caramel: Are Pinkie Pie and Applejack related or what?!
[more angry chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Listen to me! [amplified] Listen to me!
[Twilight Sparkle]
I never claimed to be perfect
My mistakes are all written in ink
None of us claimed to be perfect
And it's sad if that's what you all think
Our flaws helped to make us special
They bond us and keep us strong
Our flaws are what brought us together
So stop actin' like somethin's wrong
[Mane Six]
We're not flawless
We're a work in progress
We've got dents and we've got quirks
But it's our flaws that make us work
Yeah, we're not flawless
We're a work in progress
So tell me what flaws you got, too
'Cause I still like what's flawed about you
[Rainbow Dash]
They say I'm a big shot
That my ego's the size of a whale
My confidence comes off as cocky
But it gives me the courage to fail
[Rarity]
Sure, I can be a drama queen
A bit stuck-up, it's true
[Applejack]
And I can be too eager to please
There's such thing as bein' too honest, too, 'cause
[Mane Six]
We're not flawless
We're a work in progress
We've got dents and we've got quirks
But it's our flaws that make us work
Yeah, we're not flawless
We're a work in progress
So tell me what flaws you got, too
'Cause I still like what's flawed about you
[Pinkie Pie]
Ponies think I'm all bubbles and laughter
That I don't seem sincere
I might joke around a little too much
But I'm just so happy you're here
[Fluttershy]
It took me a while to be confident
To really come out of my shell
[Twilight Sparkle]
But nopony has to be perfect
By now, don't you know us so well? Because, yeah
[Mane Six]
We're not flawless
We're a work in progress
We've got dents and we've got quirks
But it's our flaws that make us work
Yeah, we're not flawless
We're a work in progress
So tell me what flaws you got, too (Pinkie Pie: You got, too)
'Cause I still like what's flawed about you
Twilight Sparkle: So you see, everypony? None of us ever claimed to be perfect. Without our flaws, there wouldn't be any friendship lessons to learn. Without our flaws... there probably wouldn't be any friendships at all.
[beat]
[angry chattering]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Main cast: [sighs in unison]
Rainbow Dash: So that just happened.
Starlight Glimmer: Girls! I found two ponies who have something I think you should hear.
Toola Roola: Um, we just wanted to say thank you. To all of you.
Coconut Cream: Yeah, our friendship? Well, we were having trouble until we read your journal. It showed us that friends can go through all sorts of tough times and come through stronger than before.
Toola Roola: It's made us better friends than we've ever been!
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Coconut Cream and Toola Roola: Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to hear that. Thank you for telling us. We've had a tough couple of days, but knowing we've helped fillies like you...
Applejack: It makes everythin' we've been through worth it.
Rarity: Absolutely. Fads come and go. Friendship is forever.
Rainbow Dash: There are worse things than not being able to do anything without being told I'm awesome.
Fluttershy: And we can't change the way other ponies think about us. But we can change how we let it affect us.
Pinkie Pie: Or how we don't let it affect us!
[splat]
[clang]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Go ahead! Laugh!
Everypony: [laughing]
Applejack: Reckon we still have to deal with them, don't we?
[loud arguing]
Twilight Sparkle: Stay in the friendship moment, Applejack. They can wait a little longer.
[credits]

Triple Threat

[cheerful music]
Spike: Is the banner even? Are the flowers in place? By which I mean "completely out of view". I'm pretty sure dragons don't like flowers. And what about the Ceremonial Dragon Fire Flame of Friendship? Is it still flaming?
[flame bursts]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, everything looks great! You're getting yourself worked up for no reason.
Spike: I have lots of reasons. In fact, I wrote them down.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] You've been hanging around Twilight for too long.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles nervously]
Spike: Reason number one – I invited Dragon Lord Ember to Ponyville today. Reason two – the Dragon Lord is a dragon. Reason three – she's coming here to learn more about friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: According to Ember's letters, the dragons are trying to be friends, but competing is in their nature, and it's leading to more and more fights.
Spike: Which brings me to to reason number four. The Dragon Lord wants my advice, and as the new official Equestrian friendship ambassador to the dragons, I can't let her down.
Twilight Sparkle: I know you feel a lot of pressure, but you've got this, Spike!
Spike: I... I just want things to be perfect.
[tap, tap]
Spike: [gasps] Thorax! You're in Ponyville!
Thorax: Of course I am, silly! You invited me. And I'm not one to back out of an invitation. Hey, Twilight! Hey, Starlight!
Twilight Sparkle:
[nervously] Hey!
Starlight Glimmer:
[nervously] Hello!
Thorax: Oooh! I can't believe you did all this for me! Great banner! Love the stage! What's this flame thingy? Oh, it's pretty!
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering, to Spike] You invited Thorax over to Ponyville on the same day as Ember?!
Spike: Apparently.
Starlight Glimmer: That doesn't seem like a good idea. How are you gonna entertain them both?
Spike: I have no idea. [whimpers]
[theme song]
Spike: I completely forgot! Thorax wrote and said he needed to talk, and I told him to come over. I didn't realize it was the same day I invited Ember! What am I gonna do?! [teeth chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, maybe they'll like each other.
Spike: Probably not. Ember is tough and self-assured and intimidating. And Thorax is...
Thorax: Spike, I'm so glad you invited me! You are one of my closest, nicest, most caring, most understanding friends ever! Ooh! Is that ice in the shape of a dragon?
[warbles]
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, I see your point. They might not get each other.
Spike: Or worse – they'll hate each other! And if the leader of the changelings and the Dragon Lord get into a fight... [gulps] I could be responsible for starting a war that could ruin Equestria as we know it! [gasps]
[battle music]
[explosion]
Spike: [hyperventilates]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure that won't happen. Now pull it together.
Spike: So, heh, Thorax, heh, everything good with you?
Thorax: Well, honestly, no. Not really. I have indigestion. Not sure if it's the new diet or stress. Or maybe it's both.
Spike: No!
Thorax: Yeah, it really could be both. And it might be affecting my sleeping, too. I'm a real tosser and turner.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-oh! [whimpers]
Spike: Sounds like you really need to unwind. Uh, how about a, uh... a trip to the castle? Heh. You can't miss that view.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, the castle! I'll give you a personal tour!
Thorax: Uh, aren't you coming?
Spike: Yeah, I'm just gonna... grab some ice cream for us and catch up. Heh-heh.
[whip]
[whoosh]
[boom]
[fanfare plays]
Spike: Dragon Lord Ember, as the official Equestrian friendship ambassador for the Dragon Lands and for Ponyville, I, Spike of Ponyville, welcome you to... uh, Ponyville. [quietly, to himself] I gotta work on my official speech.
Ember: Okay, thanks. [chuckles] Right. The hug thing.
Spike: [chuckles]
Ember: This place has a lot of colors. In the Dragon Lands, everything's just rocks or the color of ash. [sneezes]
[ponies gasp]
Ember: That's probably why.
[ponies screaming]
Ember: Hey, Twilight!
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, I'm Starlight. Starlight Glimmer. Nice to meet you.
Ember: Oh, sorry. I'm really gonna have to get used to these pony names. Lots of "-lights" and shiny things. So, where is Twilight?
Spike: She's in her castle. D'oh!
Ember: We should go visit her then. Part of friendship is saying "hi" to your friends, right?
Spike: Uh, well, yeah, but... [nervous stammering]
Ember: You're making weird noises. Do you have a stomachache?
Spike: Dah. I think I feel one coming on.
Ember: Well, you know what us dragons say. "Push past the pain!" Now, let's go.
Spike: Or we could stay here.
Ember: Or I could go without you.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs] Ah, I like her.
Spike: Ohhh.
[door opens]
Spike: Good. They're not here.
Ember: What was that?
Spike: Uh, I... I said, "It's all clean in here!" Uh, you must be hungry from your travels. Please, I'd love to present you with an official friendship welcome banquet.
Ember: [crunching loudly] So this is something friends do? I could get used to this. [resumes chomping]
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, that's not food.
Spike: [aside] Dragons love gems!
Starlight Glimmer: Fine, but you're telling Twilight what happened to her wall.
Ember: [continues chomping]
Spike: Just keep her here. [to Ember] Okay, yeah! [laughs] Enjoy all the, uh... crystal... things!
Ember: Where are you going? I thought this was an official friendship banquet.
Spike: Just gotta use the little dragons' room!
Ember: [chomps]
Twilight Sparkle: So this is my comfy chair for fictional reads. [grunts] This is my studying chair because the hard back keeps me awake.
[door opens]
Thorax: Oh, Spike! I'm so glad you're here! [quietly] This castle visit is getting weird. Twilight really likes chairs. Oh, what happened to the ice cream?
Spike: What? Oh, right! Uh, they ran out. Heh. Hey, I'm really sorry, but I gotta borrow Twilight quickly.
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[thud]
Spike: Be right back!
Thorax: But we didn't get to talk yet! [groans]
Spike: Ember's here!
Twilight Sparkle: I know. I saw you coming and had to distract Thorax by showing him chairs. Why did you bring Ember to the castle of all places?
Spike: I don't know! Ember was asking for you, Thorax wants to talk with me. We need to switch places! They might be getting suspicious.
Twilight Sparkle: All we have to do is make both Thorax and Ember feel special and keep them apart for a few more hours. We can do this.
[shimmering sounds]
Spike: Dah! What's happening?! [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's the map. It's calling... you. Apparently, you also have to solve a friendship problem!
[dramatic sting]
Spike: The map is calling me?!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, amazing! The map is really reaching out!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Not a good time? I get it.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Spike, are you here? Ember's eaten all of Twilight's decorations, and—oh! Hey, Twilight! [chuckles, gasps] Glowing map... [gulps] Glowing spikes... That's not good.
Spike: I know!
Starlight Glimmer: At least your friendship problem is in Ponyville? Heh.
Spike: Okay, okay. To pull this off, I'm gonna need both of you to help. You two need to keep Ember and Thorax separate while I get ice cream.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean "find the friendship problem".
Spike: Yeeeees! Go easy on me. I'm under a lot of pressure.
Spike: Friendship problem? Anypony gotta friendship problem here? Any problems to solve? Friendship problems? Friendship problems! Anypony got a friendship problem here? No? Okay.
Lyra Heartstrings: [grunts] Well, I think vanilla strawberry cream is overused!
Sweetie Drops: Hmph.
Spike: Yes! Fighting! Uh, I mean, what seems to be the problem?
Ember: Mmm. Mmm. I'm stuffed. [belches]
Twilight Sparkle: Ember, there you are!
Ember: Okay, right. More pony hugs.
Twilight Sparkle: How's your trip to Ponyville so far?
Ember: Well, I'm certainly learning a lot about friendship. I had no idea it was polite to decorate your walls in your friends' favorite foods!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously] Oh, my.
Ember: Where'd Spike and Starlight go? I feel like I'm being avoided. [snorts]
Twilight Sparkle: Nooooo. They're just making sure everything is perfect for your welcome party later. In the meantime, how about I show you around town?
Ember: Sounds good. I can't exactly learn about friendship if I don't make new friends.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Thorax: [grunting, sighs]
[door closes]
Thorax: Oh!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, hey, Thorax. Um, Twilight and Spike had some boring official paperwork to deal with, so looks like you and I get to hang out. What would you like to do?
Thorax: But I wanted to talk with Spike. He said he'd be right back.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, you will. But first, how about we grab a bite to eat?
Thorax: Huh. Well, you know, now that you've said it, I am a little hungry. Is there a dining room in the castle?
Starlight Glimmer: No! I mean, yeah, but that's castle food. If you want the good stuff, we gotta go to town. Phew!
Spike: ...and that's why you should never let cupcake flavors get in the way of your friendship.
Lyra Heartstrings: Huh. I guess I never thought of it that way. Thanks, Spike!
Spike: Oh, come on! Glow!
Thorax: Spike! There you are! Uh, done with your boring paperwork, I see.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Spike: Yep. [laughs] I am done with whatever Starlight says I was doing.
Starlight Glimmer: Thorax wanted to get out of the castle. I thought coming to town was a really, really great idea.
Thorax: Well, maybe now we can talk.
Spike: Uh, sssssure.
Starlight Glimmer: I'll leave you guys to it.
Thorax: First of all, I want to say thank you for having me over. I'm in a bit of a leadership pickle, and I could use some advice.
Spike: Well, I definitely want to help you out as quickly as possible.
Thorax: Here's my problem. There's this renegade group of changelings who still feed off of love. Even though I said, "Hey let's not do that anymore," they say, "Hey, this is how we've been doing things for hundreds of years..." [crossfades] ...but it's like they don't want to, even though I'm the leader and I have to... [fades out]
[ponies sounding interested]
Ember: Hello, I am Ember, daughter of Torch, winner of the Gauntlet of Fire, and lord of all dragons! [roars]
[ponies scream]
Ember: Usually when I do that, the dragons are eager to meet me.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not how ponies make friends.
Ember: Ah, I get it.
Derpy: [slurps]
Ember: This is a weird friendship thing you ponies do, right?
[splat]
[honk!]
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, you guys are in town, too?
Ember: What are you talking about? You've been with me this whole time.
Starlight Glimmer: No. I'm Starlight.
[beat]
Ember: Riiiight. I'm sorry, but you can't blame me. You both look and act so much alike.
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: What?!
Thorax: ...and they said to me they just keep saying the same thing. You know, I think my leadership problem started in childhood. I must've been three when... [crossfades] ...three's a different story, a-and you've definitely gotta hear it. But the story about my brother was when I was two... or was I one?
Crusoe Palm: This is my seat! I saw it first!
"Rainbow Stars": Well, I got here first!
Spike: Thorax, uh, excuse me for a second.
Crusoe Palm and "Rainbow Stars": [growl]
Spike: Ponies, please! If I may, I think I can help solve this friendship problem. You two should sit together. You both like the same place, you both ordered muffins, you're both ponies. I think if you made a little effort, you'd find— Whoa! Okay, that had to have done it. Come on, spikes. Glow! [strains, sighs]
Thorax: Hey, that was really great advice. So what do you think I should do?
Spike: [gasps] Uh, actually, I, uh... need a minute... alone... to, uh, really come up with great advice! [pants] I'll be right back.
Thorax: [sighs] Great. No problem. Leave me again. It's fine.
Ember: I'm just saying you're both purple ponies with purple hair. You both have cutie marks with sparkly things.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckles] Mine's more of a glimmer. Heh.
Ember: How is that different? Oh, good. Spike. Can you please tell these two I'm right? They look very similar.
Spike: Uh... Well, y'know, one thing friends do is let something go when it's upsetting somepony else.
Ember: But I'm right! Besides, who are you to be telling me about friendship? I've barely seen you all day!
Spike: Uh, well, I've seen you.
Ember: Are you calling me a liar?!
Spike: [chatters]
Thorax: Hey! No one yells at my friend!
[transformation noise]
Thorax: [bear growl]
Ember: Spike, get away from the bear!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, the bear is a changeling. And he's quite gentle.
Thorax: Not anymore! [bear roar]
Ember: [roars]
Thorax: [bear growl]
Spike: [screams] My worst fears are happening!
Spike: Noooo!
Thorax: [pants] Back away, Spike! I'm not gonna let this dragon harm a scale on your back!
Ember: You back away! I'm not gonna let you harm him! Wait. Did you say you're not gonna let me harm Spike?
Thorax: Yeah!
Ember: But that's what I'm doing!
Thorax: Uh, what?
Ember: Yeah, what?
Spike: [panicked] Equestria as we know it is over! The war that pits changeling against dragon is about to begin! And it's all my fault! My title of Equestria's friendship ambassador is a lie—! Oh. Hey. You guys aren't fighting?
Ember: Why would we be fighting?
Spike: Because I accidentally invited you both over to Ponyville on the same day?
Ember and Thorax: So what?
Spike: So I... was trying to keep you apart because I didn't think you'd get along.
Ember: Oh. I get it. You thought he wouldn't like me just because I'm a dragon and I'm bad at friendship?
Spike: No, no, of course not! But— Wait. Isn't that why you're here?
Ember: I can say I'm bad at friendship. You can't say it about me! You know what? I don't wanna talk about it.
Spike: Wait, please! [sighs] [to Thorax] I'm sorry.
Thorax: No, no, it's cool. You thought I would be too soft, and someone like Ember would never respect me. Just like my own changelings!
Spike: No, that's not it! Thorax, wait! Oh, no... What have I done?
[splash]
[kick]
[splash]
Ember: Why are you still here?
Thorax: [sighs] Because I'm having trouble leading my pack, so I don't really wanna go home.
Ember: Wait, you're in charge? [chuckles] Oh, boy. You need to be more assertive.
Thorax: Well, that's my problem. I don't know how! I tried asking them to please follow my directions. I even offered a prize, and then—
Ember: Shhh! Stop talking.
[beat]
Ember: That's how you do it.
Thorax: Whoa! That just gave me chills.
Ember: I know you have it in you. You turned into a bear to defend Spike.
Thorax: Huh, I guess I can be tough when I'm defending my friends, but when I'm just enforcing my rules, I-I feel unsure of myself.
Ember: There's nothing to be unsure of. You're the leader for a reason. Make a decision and let it be known that the decision is final. And if that doesn't work, turn into a bear.
Thorax: Oh, well, that's good advice.
Ember: I know it is.
Thorax: So what's your deal? Why do you think you're so bad at friendship?
Ember: I don't want to talk about it.
Thorax: Oh, you have to! How else are you gonna solve your problems?
Ember: Through feats of strength and fire duels, of course. [grunts, roars]
[explosion]
Thorax: Uh, how does that help?
[crunch]
Ember: Crushing another dragon in competition establishes my dominance and makes me feel great.
Thorax: Right, but, uh, how do you think they feel?
Ember: Humiliated! Ashamed! They'd probably wanna run away and bury themselves under a rock and... never come out. They're probably sad. Kinda low. Definitely not happy.
Thorax: That's because that kind of competition can divide you. And it doesn't get to the heart of the issue. Talking about your feelings does.
Ember: [sneezes] Ugh! I think I'm allergic to feelings.
Thorax: You know you don't have to be sappy...
Ember: [blows]
Thorax: ...or huggy-feely about it! But you should let your friends know how you feel.
Ember: Uh, I know where we can start.
[whoosh]
Thorax: Where? Ohhhh. Spike. Hah. I got there.
Spike: I think they're gone. They probably never want to see me again.
[thuds]
Starlight Glimmer: Or they want to see you now.
Spike: [gulps]
Ember: Guess what, Spike.
Spike: I know. I'm so sorry.
Ember: Let me talk about this! I... feel... [strains] mad. [sighs]
Thorax: Okaaaay... That's a good first attempt. Now maybe try to be more specific?
Ember: [cracks limbs, breathes deeply] I'm... [sighs] upset!
Spike: You have every right to be.
Ember: I know I do! And I know I need to tell you how I feel because my friend Thorax said it would make me feel better. And it does!
Thorax: Yeah! And I have no problem telling you what you did was wrong because my friend Ember is helping me be more assertive!
[thud]
Spike: Whoa.
Ember: Nice.
Ember and Thorax: Ha-ha!
Spike: You guys should be mad at me. I was so worried about how it could go wrong, I didn't even think about how it could go right. [sighs] Can you forgive me?
Ember: I really do feel better. So, yeah. I'm good.
Thorax: Hah. Me, too. [pleased sounds]
Ember: [groans] Again?
Spike: [laughing]
[spikes shimmering]
Spike: No way! It's finally happening! I solved the friendship problem!
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, you created the friendship problem by not trusting your friends.
Spike: Yeah, but then I solved it by learning my lesson. I should have told my two friends about each other immediately instead of assuming they wouldn't get along.
Twilight Sparkle: Good job, Spike.
Ember: Is this another part of pony friendship? Telling each other what you learned all the time?
Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Spike: [giggling]
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, pretty much.
Spike: Yup.
[ponies chattering]
Spike: [through loudspeaker] So, as a show of unity, I present the Dragon Fire Flame of Friendship to both Dragon Lord Ember and Thorax, leader of the changeling pack! May the flame of friendship burn for eternity.
[ponies cheering]
Ember: [sneezes]
[whoosh]
[crowd gasps]
[beat]
Ember: You should have more things made of rocks.
[beat]
Spike, Ember, and Thorax: [laughing]
[credits]

Campfire Tales

Applejack: [straining] [muffled] Hey, kid, get over here!
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [straining]
[thunk]
Applejack: Tents are lookin' good. And we made good time today. At this rate, we'll be at Winsome Falls by tomorrow!
Apple Bloom: We should do the annual Big-Sister-Little-Sister camping trip every weekend!
Applejack: Then it wouldn't be annual. And if we did it every weekend, it probably wouldn't be as special.
Apple Bloom: But the more we do it, the better we get at camping. Remember the first time we came here and Rarity had that ginormous tent?
Rarity: I heard that! [giggles] I've gotten much better at "roughing it", haven't I?
Sweetie Belle: Yup. This time, you only packed three suitcases.
Rarity: I know what you're thinking. But I promise, I only brought the essentials.
Applejack: Like those light thingies?
Rarity: Of course. What is life if you can't make it beautiful?
[bushes rustling]
Rainbow Dash: Mmmm! These berries look good enough to eat!
Scootaloo: Don't! According to my book, they're extremely poisonous!
[berries falling]
Scootaloo: [sighs]
[leaf landing]
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[snap]
Scootaloo: [grunts, screams]
Rainbow Dash: What?
Scootaloo: I heard something, I stepped on something, and I saw that creepy cave... I guess I still get a little bit scared out here, even after the last camping trip.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, kid. You've got a big sister this time.
Apple Bloom: This looks amazing!
Scootaloo: This is gonna be the best Big-Sister-Slash-Little-Sister camping trip ever!
Apple Bloom: [chewing]
[tea being poured]
[Fly-der buzzing]
[splat]
[Fly-der swarm buzzing]
Everypony: [screams]
[theme song]
[Fly-ders buzzing]
Everypony: [indistinct complaining]
Scootaloo: Ow! What are these things?! Aaagh!
Applejack: Fly-ders! Everypony, run for cover! Don't get stuck in their—
[thud]
Applejack: ...web.
[smack]
Sweetie Belle: [shrieks] Now what?!
Rainbow Dash: Follow me, everypony!
Scootaloo: Aaah! Not the scary cave!
[whoosh]
[Fly-der swarm buzzing]
Scootaloo: Where did those terrible bugs come from? And why did they destroy our camp?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Applejack: Flyders are from the Luna Bay area. Never seen 'em this far east, though. Probably attracted to the food. Best wait here until they're gone.
Apple Bloom: Oh, apple rot! What are we supposed to do now?! We had games to play and marshmallows to roast at camp! In here, we got nothin'!
Rarity: Mm, that's not entirely true. We have each other.
Applejack: That's right! And if you girls want to, maybe we could tell some stories to pass the time.
Rainbow Dash: You want stories? I've got a ton of stories! Spoiler alert – they're all about me and how awesome I am!
Applejack: I was thinkin' more like campfire stories?
Apple Bloom: But we don't even have a campfire.
Rainbow Dash: I got this!
[whoosh]
[Fly-ders buzzing]
[stinging noises]
[whoosh]
[thud]
Applejack: Wow. That was brave.
Rainbow Dash: [in discomfort] Eh... heh. It was no biggie. [coughs]
Scootaloo: We aren't gonna tell scary stories like our last camping trip, are we? It's bad enough just being in here!
Applejack: Don't worry, Scootaloo. I was gonna tell you mine and Apple Bloom's favorite legend.
Apple Bloom: Ooh! You mean Rockhoof? I love that one! He was so strong, and when he—
Sweetie Belle: Apple Bloom, shhh! We haven't heard it yet!
Apple Bloom: Oh, okay. But it's so good! Heh.
Applejack: Well, it's true. Rockhoof was known far and wide for his incredible strength. But he didn't start out that way. You see, Rockhoof was a tiny little fella, the son of a farmer.
Apple Bloom: Just like us!
[beat]
Apple Bloom: [laughs nervously]
Applejack: They lived in a village that sat at the foot of a gigantic volcano.
[flute music]
[clink]
Applejack: [narrating] And the village was protected by an elite group of guard ponies called the Mighty Helm.
Mighty Helm ponies: [laughing]
[thunk]
Applejack: [narrating] Young Rockhoof wanted nothing more than to be part of the Mighty Helm.
[straining noises]
[thud]
Mighty Helm ponies: [laughing]
Applejack: [narrating] But he was told that he was too scrawny and weak to protect the village.
Mighty Helm ponies: [more laughing]
Rockhoof: [whimper]
Applejack: [narrating] But Rockhoof wouldn't take no for an answer.
Applejack: [narrating] Then, one fateful day...
[rumbling]
Applejack: [narrating] ...the volcano erupted!
[boom!]
Rockhoof: Eeeeeeeeeeee—
Apple Bloom: [continued] —eeeeeeeeee! This is my favorite part!
Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: What happened next?!
Applejack: The molten lava poured down the side of the volcano...
Mighty Helm ponies: [indistinct chatter]
Applejack: [narrating] ...and try as they might, the Mighty Helm couldn't figure out a way to save the village! They had to evacuate. But the village ponies didn't wanna leave their homes. They spent their entire lives there. They had nowhere else to go! So Rockhoof decided to do something crazy.
[digging]
Applejack: [narrating] He thought if he could divert the flow of the lava, he might be able to save his village. He started diggin' a trench!
Sweetie Belle: Wait a minute. All by himself?
Rainbow Dash: It'd be impossible for one pony to dig a trench fast enough to stop the lava. I mean, even I couldn't do that.
Apple Bloom: [fangirl squealing]
Applejack: Good thing Rockhoof didn't believe in the word "impossible".
Applejack: [narrating] He continued to work, knowin' the odds were against him, but determined to push through it. Then, somethin' magical happened.
[digging]
[magic noises]
Applejack: [narrating] Rockhoof got visibly stronger! But the lava was getting' closer.
[rapid speed digging]
[crunch]
[steam hissing]
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: [narrating] Through his extraordinary determination and sheer force o' will, Rockhoof more than earned his place in the Mighty Helm.
Mighty Helm ponies: [laughing]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Good story, Applejack! Even if it wasn't about me.
All but Rainbow Dash: [giggling]
Apple Bloom: I love that story, no matter how many times I hear it.
Rarity: Why don't we see if it's safe to head back to camp?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, girls? There is no camp to go back to.
[Fly-der swarm buzzing]
All but Sweetie Belle: [gasps]
[Fly-der swarm buzzing]
Sweetie Belle: All our hard work is ruined!
Rarity: There, there, Sweetie Belle. Not to worry.
Sweetie Belle: How? Our camp was so pretty, and this cave is so... not.
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no-no, no, not true. There's beauty in everything. Even these blah rocks aren't really blah. If you look closely, you can see flecks of gold in them. And the way the firelight dances on the cave wall, shadow and light? Ooh, it's so gorgeous! Sweetie Belle, have I ever told you about my favorite legend?
Sweetie Belle: No. I didn't know you had one.
Rarity: Her name... was Mistmane.
Rainbow Dash: Mistmane? Isn't she the old wrinkly sorceress with the flower?
Rarity: Yeeees, but did you know she used to be the most beautiful unicorn in all the land?
Rainbow Dash: [flatly] No.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: So what happened to her?!
Rarity: Well, Mistmane was a very promising young sorceress.
[Asian-style music]
Rarity: [narrating] She was as talented as she was beautiful and kind. Everypony loved her and missed her when she was sent to the finest magic school.
Rarity: [narrating] While she was gone, she was delighted to find out that her best friend, Sable Spirit, was crowned empress. She couldn't wait to return home once she finished her studies.
Rarity: [narrating] But once she arrived, she was devastated by what she saw.
Mistmane: What happened here?
Villager: The Empress happened. She makes everypony work day and night on her palace. We don't have time to take care of anything else.
Mistmane: But that can't be. I know her! She would never do this.
Rarity: [narrating] But there was no denying what was in front of her.
Foal: [gasps]
Rarity: [narrating] Sable Spirit took everything that was beautiful away from anypony else! And Mistmane was sure there had to be some explanation.
Sweetie Belle: I'd assume there was, too. If somepony told me either one of you two'd gone evil...
Scootaloo: Yeah, I'd never believe it.
Apple Bloom: I dunno. I've seen the way you two get when you miss breakfast.
[beat]
Apple Bloom: [chuckles nervously] Just kiddin'. But I'd want answers too.
Rarity: So did Mistmane. She went to confront her friend.
Mistmane: Sable, is that you?
Sable Spirit: Don't tell me you don't recognize your old friend.
Mistmane: I don't. My friend would never work our families and friends to the bone for something as silly as a palace.
Sable Spirit: Silly? My palace is a beacon of beauty! Anypony who passes will be in awe of its majesty!
Mistmane: What good is a pretty palace if it just hides the misery of its ponies?
Sable Spirit: Beauty is everything. You taught me that.
Mistmane: What?!
Sable Spirit: You were always the pretty one. You got to go to the best magic school. Everypony missed you. Everypony loved you! I admit I was jealous, so I tried to perform a spell that would make me beautiful. You can see how that went!
Mistmane: [gasps]
Sable Spirit: I found if I couldn't have beauty, I would take it. I wasn't chosen to be empress, you know. I took it! Just like I'm going to take everything else.
Mistmane: I can't let you do that.
Sable Spirit: Let me? [laughs]
[magic zaps]
Sable Spirit: [grunts, growls]
[magic dragons roaring]
[magic zaps]
[wood creaking]
Sable Spirit: [grunts]
[ponies cheering]
Rarity: [narrating] Everypony thought Sable Spirit was defeated, and that was that. But Mistmane knew there was more she could do to help.
Rarity: [narrating] Beauty isn't everything. But Mistmane knew that it does have the power to make ponies smile.
[magic noises]
Rarity: [narrating] She made a huge sacrifice to bring that smile back to her friends' and family's faces... including Sable Spirit's.
Sable Spirit: [gasps] You did this for me? Even after I was so cruel?
Rarity: [narrating] Sable Spirit was so touched that she vowed to be more like her friend in the ways that mattered. From then on, she ruled with kindness and compassion.
[ponies cheering]
Rarity: [narrating] Even though she gave away her physical beauty, she dedicated her life to spreading beauty all over Equestria. Any time you go out of your way to brighten somepony's day by doing something like giving them flowers, you're following in the hoofsteps of Mistmane.
Sweetie Belle: I think she's my favorite legend too.
[Fly-ders buzzing]
[splat, hiss]
Scootaloo: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! These Fly-ders won't quit! What do they want from us now?
Applejack: Well, like it or not, we're food, too.
Sweetie Belle: And I've got the bites to prove it.
Scootaloo: [panicking] What are we gonna do?! They're almost here!
[thwack]
[rubble falling]
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: What?! Now those bugs can't get in!
Scootaloo: [hyperventilating] And we can't get out!
Scootaloo: [hyperventilating]
Applejack: Let's all just stay calm. Let me re-light this fire...
[sticks rubbing]
[flames crackling]
Rarity: We just have to wait until the swarm moves on. Then we'll think of a way out.
Scootaloo: How long will that be?! Don't bears live in caves?! [moaning]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Scootaloo. You're focusing on the wrong things.
Scootaloo: You have a plan?!
Rainbow Dash: Close. I have a story.
Applejack: Lemme guess – it's about you?
Rainbow Dash: Practically. It's about my favorite legend, Flash Magnus!
Apple Bloom: Wasn't he the pony who took on the dragons?
Scootaloo: Dragons?! Big, scary, mean ones or like Spike?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, these were definitely the big, scary, mean kind!
Scootaloo: [panicked sigh]
Rainbow Dash: But not too scary. You can sit closer to me if you want.
[zoom-thump]
Rainbow Dash: A long time ago, before the Wonderbolts were even founded...
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] ...Flash Magnus was a lowly cadet in the Royal Legion.
[heroic music]
[smacks]
[plane propellor noises]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] And the Legion needed to fly over the Dragon Lands to get to their comrades on the other side. But as they got closer to the dragons...
Flash Magnus: [coughing]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] ...the dragons attacked!
[dragons roaring]
Scootaloo: [shivering] You said this wasn't too scary!
Rainbow Dash: [very muffled] Scootaloo, if you just hang in there—
Scootaloo: What?
[stretching, snap]
Rainbow Dash: I said if you just hang in there, I promise you'll like the ending. So, like I was saying, Flash Magnus and the Royal Legion tried to get past the dragons...
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] ...but the dragons wouldn't let them!
[dragons roaring]
Commander Ironhead: Everypony, retreat!
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] Flash Magnus and a few other cadets were separated from the battalion. He managed to get away, but the dragons captured his friends and took them back to their lair!
[Legion cadets screaming]
[plane propellor noises]
[thump]
Flash Magnus: Commander! We need to save our captured comrades!
Commander Ironhead: I appreciate your loyalty, Flash Magnus, but getting past those dragons is going to be impossible. Nothing will work.
Apple Bloom: The commander was right. You can't outfight dragons.
Rainbow Dash: But you can out-think them.
Flash Magnus: Commander Ironhead, I'm pretty sure I can outfly the dragons. If I can lure them into chasing me, you can all sneak into the lair and retrieve our friends before they get back.
Commander Ironhead: Are you really willing to take that chance, soldier?
Flash Magnus: I am, sir.
Commander Ironhead: It's a very brave thing you're doing. You'll need all the help you can get.
[clank, shing!]
Flash Magnus: Is this... Netitus, the fireproof shield?!
Commander Ironhead: It has protected Legion heroes for generations. And today, I can't think of a worthier flank for Netitus to protect.
[clank]
Commander Ironhead: Good luck, soldier.
[plane propellor noises]
Flash Magnus: [exhales] [shouting] Hey! Come and get me, fire-breath! If you can! [clanking shield] Hey, hey! Come and get me! Hey, I'm over here!
[dragon roars]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] While Flash Magnus bravely flew for his life, Commander Ironhoof was able to get his soldiers back.
[dragons roaring]
[plane propellor noises]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] Flash Magnus flew like the wind...
[dragon roaring]
[shield burning]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] ...faster than the dragons!
[burning]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] But he knew he couldn't do this forever. Luckily, he had a plan.
[lightning striking]
[electricity crackling]
Commander Ironhead: [whistles]
[plane propellor noises]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] He led the dragons straight into a storm that the Legion had planted!
[lightning striking]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] One taste of the lightning, and the dragons retreated.
[long pause]
[pomf]
Flash Magnus: [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: [narrating] Flash Magnus' plan worked!
[Legion cadets cheering]
Scootaloo: Wow! I did like that ending.
Rainbow Dash: Told ya! He always inspired me to be my brave and awesome self.
Apple Bloom: Mm-hmm!
Applejack: Yeah, I guess he kinda reminds me of you.
Rainbow Dash: Tch! You guess? Come on, I'm just like him!
All but Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Applejack: Hey, do you hear that?
Apple Bloom: Uh, I don't hear anythin'.
Applejack: Exactly! Those gosh-darn Fly-ders are gone! We can get out!
[thumping]
[rockslide]
Applejack: Whoa!
Rarity: Or not.
Applejack: We're gonna have to see if we can get out the other way.
Scootaloo: You mean go further into the dark, spooky cave?!
Rainbow Dash: Scootaloo, just remember the story. Gotta be brave like me and Flash Magnus, okay?
[water rushing]
Rainbow Dash: I hear water!
Rarity: And if there's flowing water, then...
Applejack: ...it might lead to the way out!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa!
Rarity: Okay, on three. One, two—
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Three!
[splashes]
[waterfall sounds]
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo!
Sweetie Belle: Yeah-ha-ha!
Applejack: Huh. Well, what do you know? We found ourselves a shortcut to Winsome Falls!
Scootaloo: [sighs] It's never looked so beautiful.
Rarity: Well, almost.
[snapping]
Apple Bloom: [gasps]
Applejack: We sure are sorry that our camping trip wasn't what we hoped it would be.
Apple Bloom: Are you kidding? This trip is awesome!
Rarity: It is?
Sweetie Belle: We got to hear legendary stories and go on an adventure.
Applejack: Wait, you three wanna stay?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Of course we do!
Sweetie Belle: We could turn those trees into a nice, little shelter!
Apple Bloom: We can get you some big logs and branches to help build it!
Scootaloo: And I bet we could find some more berries! Come on! I can't wait to see what happens next year!
[credits]

To Change a Changeling

[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Ha! Straight to the changeling hive! I told you I could do it.
Trixie: Well, not exactly straight, Starlight. We've been popping all around Equestria, and we still have to walk.
Starlight Glimmer: [scoffs] It's like twelve steps away. Before Chrysalis' throne was destroyed, the closest magic would've gotten us was waaaaaaay over there. On a scale of one to ten, how happy do you think Thorax is gonna be about our surprise visit?
Trixie: Definitely ten. I mean, who wouldn't be happy at the chance to marvel at the overwhelming talent that is the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie?!
[fireworks]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, we're coming to offer Thorax encouragement and support. His letters make it seem like the responsibilities of being a changeling leader are a little overwhelming.
Trixie: Yeah. I know. That's basically what I said.
Starlight Glimmer: He's dealing with the wants and needs of his subjects. Redesigning the hive, a dread maulwurf wreaking havoc outside...
Trixie: It does sound like a lot, but are you sure that last thing is real?
Starlight Glimmer: The dread maulwurf? Sure it is. Thorax said it's like half-bear, half-mole, half-raging-pile-of-claws! But now that the changelings don't feed on the love of everything around them, plants have started to grow back. But this maulwurf keeps eating them all up.
Trixie: "Maulwurf". Uh-huh. You're just trying to scare me, but it won't work. Because not only am I the Great and Powerful, I am also the Unscareable Trixie!
Pharynx: [growls]
Trixie: [screams] Please tell me Thorax also mentioned a terrifying-looking changeling who greets visitors but is actually nice!
Starlight Glimmer: [meakly] Nope.
Pharynx: And I'm not nice. [growls]
[magic blasts]
Trixie: Starlight, you got us here. I'll take us home. Teleportation spell, go! Did I save us?
Starlight Glimmer: Nope.
[dun-dun-dun]
[theme song]
[suspenseful music]
Trixie: What are you waiting for?! Use some magic to get us outta here!
Starlight Glimmer: Calm down, "Unscareable Trixie". We have to find out what's going on. Thorax might need our help.
Trixie: We need our help! Teleportation spell, go! Teleportation spell, go! [gasps] Teleportation spell—!
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! Why do you keep doing that? You know it doesn't work that way.
Trixie: I know, but this is my process.
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [yelp]
Pharynx: I've captured these trespassers!
Thorax: Starlight! Trixie! It's okay, Pharynx. You can let them go.
Pharynx: But they were lurking on our grounds! In the old days, I would've already feasted on their love.
Thorax: Well, that's why they're called the "old days", because they're old. We don't do that anymore.
[celestial music]
Pharynx: Dah! I liked the old days better.
Thorax: Uh, what are you two doing here?
Starlight Glimmer: We wanted to surprise you. [sheepishly] Surprise.
Thorax: Well, it's great to see you! I'm sorry about the welcome committee.
Pharynx: [hisses]
[changelings yelp]
Starlight Glimmer: I thought Ember helped you get more assertive so you could deal with all the renegade changelings who didn't wanna change.
Thorax: Oh, she did. Really helpful. I was able to convince all of them to change, except one of them... My brother.
Starlight Glimmer: Your brother?
Thorax: Yep. Pharynx is my elder broodmate.
Pharynx: Ha! [grunting]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, yeah. You guys have the same... um... eye shape?
Pharynx: What a ridiculous comparison! We are nothing alike!
Thorax: [sighs]
Pharynx: [grunts]
Thorax: Stop doing that!
Pharynx: The hive looked better with holes. [hissing]
[plink]
Thorax: Ugh. Well, how about I show you the rest of the hive where it's less loud and bangy?
Thorax: There've been a lot of changes since you were here last. I'm trying to start some new activities since the only thing we did before was hunt and patrol. There's theatre, swing dancing, a once-a-week potluck lunch. Ooh! And who can change shape and organize craft time? Hmm? [transformation noise] This guy!
Starlight Glimmer: I am really impressed, Thorax. The hive, all the activities...
Sclerite: Gah! He did it again! Pharynx dumped an entire can of black paint on me! He said my fuchsia color wasn't "intimidating to our enemies"! What enemies?!
Thorax: I am so sorry. I promise I'll talk to him.
Sclerite: You're the ruler of the hive, Thorax! You need to do more than talk!
Trixie: Well, maybe not everything here is amazing.
Starlight Glimmer: Seriously, Thorax. What is up with your brother?
Thorax: Ugh. Pharynx used to be head of patrol. But now we're peaceful and there's no need to patrol, so he just stalks around the hive making everyone miserable. The other changelings are sick of it, and if I can't get him to accept love and friendship and change like the rest of us, everything I've done here is at risk.
[beat]
Trixie: Uh-uh.
Starlight Glimmer: [encouragingly] Hmm?
Trixie: [sighs] Uh-huh.
Starlight Glimmer: We know a thing or two about what it's like to be outsiders. Maybe we could talk to him for you.
Thorax: Do you really think you can help?
Trixie: Thorax, if there's anypony who can help your brother, it's me. And with Starlight helping, it might take slightly longer, but I guarantee you we can do it.
Starlight Glimmer: [groan]
Frenulum: Thorax, we're ready to start work on the trail of plants to lead the maulwurf away.
Thorax: Oh, I have to head outside. You sure you're okay handling Pharynx?
Starlight Glimmer: Absolutely.
Pharynx: [angry grunting]
Trixie: Yeah... we totally got this. [chuckles nervously]
Pharynx: [continues grunting]
Pharynx: [angry grunting]
Trixie: So, how do you wanna play this? I'm thinking "good pony/bad pony". You yell and blast him with magic while my natural charisma will convince him that— uh, Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, Pharynx. I know when we first met, it didn't go so well.
Pharynx: I put you in a bag. I thought it went great. [grunts]
Starlight Glimmer: Right. [clears throat] So... not a big fan of the vines, huh?
Pharynx: They're a safety hazard. An enemy could hide in them or use them as weapons. I don't even know why they're here.
Starlight Glimmer: Because they're pretty?
Pharynx: That's ridiculous.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, totally. We get you. But... [clears throat] maybe don't express how you feel by destroying them?
Pharynx: I don't take advice from ponies. The only thing I take from you is breakfast. At least, I used to.
Trixie: You know, you're a lot like us!
Pharynx: Doubt it.
Trixie: It's true. Do you know who Twilight Sparkle is?
Pharynx: No.
Trixie: Well, she's the most well-liked, studious, do-goodiest pony in Equestria.
Pharynx: Ugh! She sounds awful.
Trixie: Oh, you'd hate her. I used to. She made me unsure about my place in the world, which led me to act out against her.
Starlight Glimmer: And I used to be a dictator who ran a village with an iron hoof.
Pharynx: Really? Hmm. Maybe you two do understand me.
Starlight Glimmer: Yes! We do! But now, Trixie has come to terms with being second-best, and I no longer control ponies against their will. And our lives are so much better for it.
Pharynx: Wow. So you're both losers. Stay away from me, or I'll do to you what I did to the vines.
Thorax: Well, "Operation: Lead Maulwurf Away" is coming along. How'd it go with Pharynx?
Starlight Glimmer: Your brother is, um, challenging.
Thorax: Oh, that bad, huh?
Starlight Glimmer: It wasn't great.
Thorax: You wanna talk it out? You can come with me to the feelings forum.
Trixie: The feel-like-what-now?
Thorax: Oh, it's a place for changelings to express their feelings so we all gain a better understanding of each other. It's really helped bring the hive closer together.
Green Changeling: Sometimes I feel like I'm a blue changeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm a purple changeling. But here I am, a green one.
Tymbal: You can be anything you want to be. Be blue one day and purple the next. Be both on the same day!
Green Changeling: But then I feel like I'd be living a lie.
Tymbal: It's very brave of you to share something so personal. Does anyone else have similar concerns?
Changeling 1: I used to, but craft time has given me such a creative outlet, I feel great now!
Changeling 2: Uh-huh. Everyone loves craft time.
[changelings agreeing]
Changeling 1: Well, everyone except for... you-know-who.
Changeling 2: Yeah. You-know-who spends all his craft time making spears.
Changeling 1: He's scary and intimidating. You-know-who makes me uncomfortable.
Green Changeling: He makes us all uncomfortable.
Thorax: Everyone, please! I understand Pharynx can be challenging at times.
Changeling 1: That's an understatement. He lined a hallway with thorns!
Green Changeling: He teaches little changelings to growl and hiss!
Changeling 3: My soup's too hot!
[beat]
Changeling 3: What? I thought the feelings forum was for sharing our problems.
Pharynx: It sounds like your lame "feelings forum" is for talking about me behind my back!
Tymbal: The feelings forum is for talking about anything that's bothering you. Is there something you'd like to share, Pharynx?
Pharynx: Actually, there is. The changelings used to be a fearsome swarm! Now we sit around talking about our feelings so much, you can't even stop a maulwurf from eating all your "pretty plants"! I could've sent that thing packing before, but I guess now we'll just try to lead it away and hope that keeps us safe!
Changeling 1: I don't feel safe with him around!
Green Changeling: I'd feel safer if he were gone!
Thorax: I can't do that.
All changelings: We want him banished! [arguing]
Changeling 3: [slurps] Hey, my soup's cooled down! These feeling forums are great for solving problems!
[BWONG!]
Tymbal: Everyone, please. If we are interrupting each other, we are not affirming each other.
[changelings resume arguing]
Tymbal: That's it! Feelings forum is over!
[changelings grumbling]
Starlight Glimmer: I... [sighs] I want to say something, but it goes against everything I've been taught as Twilight's pupil.
Trixie: Ooh! Then, by all means, say it.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I think Pharynx is a lost cause.
Trixie: Mm. I'm all for second chances. Third, even. But he just seems like a bad bug.
Starlight Glimmer: And Thorax has a duty to the whole hive, not just his brother.
Trixie: If he keeps sticking up for Pharynx, the hive might decide they don't want Thorax as their leader.
Starlight Glimmer: I think he might have to kick Pharynx out. But I don't wanna be the one to tell Thorax that.
Trixie: Me, neither. But somepony probably should. I nominate you!
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh!
[transformation noise]
Starlight Glimmer: Thorax, we have something to tell you.
Thorax: It's about Pharynx, isn't it?
Trixie: [hesitating] Mmmmmmmaybe?
Thorax: Look, I know he's an aggressive warrior type, but when I was little, every young changeling wanted to be like that.
[young changelings shouting]
Thorax: [voiceover] ...Every young changeling except me. The others would pick on me for not wanting to fight.
Young Changeling: Look at the little grub playing with his dollies!
[young changelings laugh]
Young Pharynx: Step away from my brother!
[slam]
Thorax: [voiceover] But Pharynx never let them hurt me.
Young Changeling: We were just complimenting his dollies.
[transformation noise]
Young Pharynx: [shrieks]
[young changelings scream]
[transformation noise]
Young Thorax: Thanks, Pharynx.
Young Pharynx: Why are you hitting yourself?! Stop hitting yourself! Why are you hitting yourself?!
Young Thorax: Ouch! Cut it out, Pharynx!
Young Pharynx: They're right, you know. You need to have tougher skin.
Trixie: Aw, that was a really sweet story. Until the end.
Thorax: I know Pharynx loved me in his own way, and I know there's still good in him. That's why I keep sticking up for him. Anyway, what did you wanna talk to me about?
Trixie: Me? Oh, noooo. But, uh, Starlight has something she—
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, Thorax, um, never mind! C'mon, Trixie, we've got a... thing to do.
Trixie: [whispering] What are you doing? I thought we agreed you'd tell Thorax he had to kick his brother out of the hive!
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe we don't have to. Get Pharynx and meet me at the hive entrance. I'll explain everything.
[magic zap]
Trixie: And how am I supposed to know where Pharynx is?!
Passing Changeling: I just saw Pharynx.
Trixie: Oh! Well, that was easy.
Starlight Glimmer: We'll just use one problem to solve another. I switched the trail of plants around to lure the maulwurf here. The changelings may not be able to stop it anymore, but Pharynx certainly can. When it attacks, he'll save his brother, showing everypony his good side, the others will accept him, and Pharynx will finally let love and friendship into his life and transform! [pants]
Trixie: Wow.
Starlight Glimmer: I know, right? Great idea? Where's Pharynx?
Trixie: He's gone.
Starlight Glimmer: Gone like gone to the throne room?
Trixie: Gone like gone! One of the changelings said Pharynx left the hive for good!
[changelings cheering]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasp] Then who's gonna stop the dread maulwurf I'm leading here?!
[changelings screaming]
Starlight Glimmer: [panting] Thorax, there you are! Pharynx is missing!
[changelings cheering]
Trixie: Wait for it...
Starlight Glimmer: And the dread maulwurf is coming this way!
[changelings screaming]
Trixie: Told ya.
Thorax: That doesn't make any sense. The trail of plants should have led the dread maulwurf away.
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous laugh] I might have relaid them to lead it back toward the hive.
Thorax: Why would you do that?!
Starlight Glimmer: I thought if Pharynx saw you were in danger, the loving, caring side of him would come out when he protected you!
Thorax: But instead, he's out there alone somewhere between us and that rampaging monster?! I have to save him!
Starlight Glimmer: I'm coming with you!
Thorax: Of course you are! This is all your fault!
Trixie: [condescending] Oh, don't be too hard on Starlight. Her heart was in the right place.
Thorax: You're coming, too!
Trixie: Oh. Right. I mean, I was gonna volunteer anyway...
Thorax: Who else is coming?
[beat]
Thorax: [groans] Fine.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, sure, you could all stay here, not help Pharynx and he won't bother you anymore. It's your choice. But remember when you didn't have a choice! When you were forced to obey Chrysalis! You might have been unstoppable, but you weren't free to choose! And now you are, because of Thorax! Well, it's his brother out there, and now it's your chance to prove you're just as strong embracing love as you were feeding on it! Now is your chance to show what changelings can really be! Not because you have to, but because you choose to!
Trixie: That was an amazingly epic speech, Starlight! I just can't believe not a single changeling was moved by it.
Thorax: I can't blame them. If he wasn't my brother, I don't think I'd be here. We're gonna have to face the maulwurf by ourselves.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe it'll be long gone and we'll find Pharynx out here alone!
[roar]
Pharynx: [grunts]
Starlight Glimmer: Or maybe not.
[maulwurf growling]
[transformation noise]
[Pharynx-bug skreeing]
Thorax: Pharynx!
Pharynx: What are you doing here?!
Thorax: I'm here to save you!
Pharynx: Get outta here! Let me handle this!
Starlight Glimmer: We're not leaving you!
[maulwurf growling and roaring]
[magic zap]
[maulwurf roaring]
Thorax: [nervous] I may have forgotten to mention in my letters that maulwurfs have really thick hides!
[maulwurf growling and snapping]
Starlight Glimmer: I thought you said you could beat this thing!
Pharynx: Yeah, with the rest of the swarm! Not alone!
Changeling 1: Good thing you're not alone!
Trixie: I told you it was an epic speech.
[changeling battle-cry]
[smack!]
[thud]
[maulwurf roars]
Thorax: It's no use! We're out of practice and he's too tough!
[maulwurf roars]
Trixie: And strong! Too bad we can't get it to fight itself!
Pharynx: That's it! Thorax, remember when we were young and I made you hit yourself?
Thorax: Now is not the time to make fun of me, Pharynx!
[beat]
Thorax: Oh, right! Of course!
[maulwurf roaring]
[slap]
Pharynx: Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?!
Thorax: Yeah, maulwurf, why are you hitting yourself?
[crunch]
Thorax: Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Huh? Huh?
[thud]
Pharynx: [hisses]
[crunch]
Trixie: Ooh, that looks like it hurts.
[maulwurf roars]
[digging]
Starlight Glimmer: We did it! It's gone!
[changelings cheering]
Thorax: What were you doing out here?
Pharynx: Leaving. I'm done with all of you.
Thorax: Oh. It's just, why bother fighting the maulwurf then? You coulda left it alone.
Pharynx: Well, I couldn't just let it attack you!
Thorax: But I thought you were done with us, and you didn't care.
Pharynx: I never said that. The hive is the thing I care about most.
Thorax: Well, you certainly don't act like it.
Pharynx: Well, I'm sorry if I don't get excited about pretty flowers and feeling circles and—
Thorax: It's a feelings forum.
Pharynx: Whatever. It doesn't matter. Even if I do care about the hive, I obviously don't have a place there anymore.
Changeling 1: Actually, you do. Because we've been wrong. Um, the hive may be a gentler, nicer place...
Changeling 2: ...but that doesn't mean we won't have to defend ourselves. Clearly.
Thorax: And who better to help us do that than the only changeling who never stopped protecting us?
[changelings chattering]
Pharynx: You all want me to stay?
Thorax: Unless you still want to leave the hive.
Pharynx: Why would I want that? I love the hive!
[changelings cheering]
[magic noises]
[changelings oohing and aahing]
Trixie: He did it! He transformed!
Starlight Glimmer: I always knew you had it in you!
Pharynx: Really? Because I thought you said I was a lost cause and you were going to tell Thorax he should kick me out.
Trixie: Oh! Starlight! How could you say that?
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh! What?! That's—! I mean—! But you—!
Thorax: Lucky for us, you weren't a lost cause.
Pharynx: Lucky for me, you didn't give up on me.
[changelings chattering]
Trixie: Soooo... glad everything worked out.
Thorax: Yeah! Let's talk about how you not only led the maulwurf to the hive but also drove my brother away from it!
Starlight Glimmer: I am so sorry about that, but I would like to point out that my admittedly terrible plan did bring everything together in the end. [nervous laugh]
Pharynx: Hey. Do you guys want to hear the story about how I used to make Thorax hit himself?
Starlight Glimmer: [relieved] Oh, absolutely, yes, right now!
Pharynx: Well, when we were young, every changeling wanted to be a warrior. Except for Thorax. He was a little weak. I had to protect him... [fades out]
[credits]

Daring Done?

Newspaper Pony: Morning, Pinkie Pie. Get your Ponyville Chronicle right here!
Pinkie Pie: Fan-tizzy-astic! I just love to read about happy happenings, and it's always good to be a pony in the know, you know? And there's so much to know!
Rainbow Dash: Eh, seems like a bunch of boring hooey to me.
Pinkie Pie: Does "New Shrubbery In Castle Garden" sound like boring hooey to you?
Rainbow Dash: Snooze.
Pinkie Pie: What about... "Parasprite Infestation In Fillydelphia Eradicated"? Ah! That's great news!
Rainbow Dash: Eh. Another day, another parasprite hype story.
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Noodles Named Official Food Of Whinnyapolis". "Author A. K. Yearling Announces Retirement". "Cloudsdale Election Heating Up For Candidate In Favor Of Cooling It Down".
Rainbow Dash: What?! Let me see that!
Pinkie Pie: I never knew you were so into politics, Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: No, this! It can't be true...
Pinkie Pie: I'd have never have picked noodles as the official food of Whinnyapolis either, but here we are.
Rainbow Dash: No, Pinkie! I can't believe that the greatest author and secret pony adventurer of all time, A. K. Yearling... is retiring!
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: A. K. Yearling just retired. Like, today. Are you sure she wants visitors?
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, the A. K. Yearling I know would never quit and retire out of the blue! Something could be really wrong, and we need to make sure she's okay!
Pinkie Pie: Okay! Heeeey... You're not just trying to make sure she writes more Daring Do books, are you?
Rainbow Dash: Of course not! But that wouldn't hurt either. Now, come on!
[rapid knocking]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, maybe she's not home. Maybe she went to the editor-in-chief of the Ponyville Chronicle to correct the misprint they've made.
Pinkie Pie: Nope. She's home.
Rainbow Dash: How do you know?
Pinkie Pie: Because she's right there looking all sad and alone.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] I knew it! Something is wrong! [knocking rapidly] A. K!
Pinkie Pie: Now she's sighing with the weight of the world. Now she's hanging her head in utter despair. Now she's shaking her hoof and cursing the heavens like nothing could ever possibly be the same again. Why, oh, why did this happen to her?!
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Pinkie Pie: Whoops. Never mind. That time, she was just stretching. [chuckles]
Rainbow Dash: A. K., it's us! Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie! Your friends!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no. Did somepony ransack your cottage again and steal some ancient, mysterious relic that's the key to saving all of Equestria?!
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! Sparky!
A. K. Yearling: [gasps]
[chest closes]
A. K. Yearling: [sighs] Nothing's been stolen.
Rainbow Dash: Then is somepony blackmailing you and forcing you to retire? Cause if they are...!
A. K. Yearling: No. Nothing like that.
Rainbow Dash: So you're just quitting and moving away? Why... would... you... do... that?!
A. K. Yearling: I already explained everything to the Ponyville Chronicle.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, really? [reading] "Author A. K. Yearling announced yesterday that the next adventure novel in her popular series, 'Daring Do and the Curse of the Pharaoh's Tomb', will be her last. Yearling looks forward to her retirement." That doesn't explain anything!
A. K. Yearling: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: It just says you're giving up writing stories. But most ponies don't know that you actually are Daring Do and that the stories are real. So what you're really saying is that you're giving up being Daring Do, but you're not saying why!
Pinkie Pie: Of course, if you don't feel like talking about it, that's A-okay, A. K.! As your friends, we completely understand. Right, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Yeah. We just came to make sure you're all right. That's really why we wanted to find out what's going on.
A. K. Yearling: If you really want to know... My last quest took me to a village in Southern Equestria, where I started seeing these.
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Wake Of Destruction: Daring Do Ruins Entire Village Marketplace!"
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "Dare Or Scare: Local Rogue Daring Do Involved In Frightful Fiasco"?
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Daring Do Leads Bull Into China Shop During High-Speed Chase—"
A. K. Yearling: That's enough! [sighs] Everypony I tried to help is mad at me.
Pinkie Pie: That's not true. They're not mad at A. K. Yearling. They're mad at Daring Do.
A. K. Yearling: They don't sell my books in Southern Equestria. The ponies there don't know who A. K. Yearling is. They only know Daring Do, and apparently she does more harm than good.
Pinkie Pie: Then I guess it's a good thing you look so different as A. K. Yearling!
Rainbow Dash: So all we have to do is go down there and explain to these ponies that none of this stuff is true.
Pinkie Pie: Easy-peasy-cheesy!
A. K. Yearling: But that's just the thing – it is true.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: What?!
A. K. Yearling: I guess I've always been so focused on saving priceless relics and stopping the bad guys that I never really thought about the mess I leave behind.
Pinkie Pie: Then you are in a tricky pickle. But why is all this happening now?
A. K. Yearling: [sighs] I guess ponies are finally fed up. Either way, I'm done with adventures, having or writing.
Rainbow Dash: Come on! For every one pony who's upset, there must be at least a hundred that know you're a hero!
A. K. Yearling: I don't think so, Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Well, why don't we go visit this village "Som...nam...bu...la" and see for ourselves?
A. K. Yearling: Those articles seem to make it pretty clear how the villagers feel.
Pinkie Pie: But if we go there, the ponies can tell you in person just how much they appreciate you.
Rainbow Dash: And what a heap of rotten apple cores these articles are!
A. K. Yearling: You really think so?
Rainbow Dash: I know so! Let's go!
A. K. Yearling: [sighs]
[adventurous music]
Rainbow Dash: [squealing] This is so cool! It looks just like that village in your last book where Daring Do recovers the Doomed Diadem from the Wild Bunch Gang who chase after her through the desert!
A. K. Yearling: It should. I based that entire chapter on my experiences here in Somnambula.
Pinkie Pie: What happens? No, wait, don't tell me. I changed my mind! Tell me!
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do thwarts Ahuizotl's evil plot to separate the Sister Crown Relics. And if it wasn't for her, the region would be cursed with eternal night, and the entire town of Somnambula would have sunk into the ground!
Pinkie Pie: Ah, puh! There's no chance that these ponies don't think you're a hero.
Rainbow Dash: Watch this. [to "Cortland"] Hiya there, mister! I was hoping you could tell me about a pony named Daring Do. I hear she's an awesome adventure-pony hero.
"Cortland": Daring Do? Oh, she's awesome, all right. Awesome at destroying ponies' apple carts...
[crash]
"Cortland": ...and priceless, sacred statues!
Dr. Caballeron: Indeed. Daring Do is a menace who destroys everything she touches!
[murmurs of agreement]
Rainbow Dash: What?! No! Daring Do is the exact opposite of a menace!
A. K. Yearling: Ugh! I tried to tell you! Coming back here was a mistake!
Rainbow Dash: Come on, A. K.! So we picked a bad example. That was just one angry pony.
Pinkie Pie: Two angry ponies!
A. K. Yearling: It doesn't matter! I never should have come with you! You two should just go home!
Rainbow Dash: Come on! We gotta follow her!
Pinkie Pie: I dunno. It really seemed like she doesn't want us cramping her saddle.
Rainbow Dash: But we have to convince her that ponies do appreciate her! As her friend, I have to make sure she believes that.
Rainbow Dash: Look, Pinkie! It's the Get On Inn! Daring Do stays here all the time in her adventures. Which means there must be ponies here who love Daring Do! Maybe they can help us.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffing] Mmmmm. My nose is telling me to help myself to muffins.
[bell ringing]
Rainbow Dash: Come on...
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, she's fancy. I got this. [to Mrs. Trotsworth] A good evening to you, madame. We are but weary travelers who humbly wish to inquire on the status of a certain mare of intrigue taking residence here.
Mrs. Trotsworth: What in Southern Equestria are you on about?
Pinkie Pie: Is it true that Daring Do stays here?
Mrs. Trotsworth: Ha! Not anymore, she doesn't!
Rainbow Dash: Why not?
Mrs. Trotsworth: The last time I rented that rascal a room, she was in such a rush to hightail it outta here, she didn't even pay her bill!
Rainbow Dash: But—
Mrs. Trotsworth: After that, a band of ruffians showed up and destroyed half the rooms looking for her. Guess she made them even more mad than she made me!
Rainbow Dash: No, no, no. You've got it all wrong.
Mrs. Trotsworth: Hmph! How do you figure?
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do was trying to save everypony from the curse of the Doomed Diadem of Xilati. And she was only in a rush because she had to get the crown back to the Tiara of Teotlale before the curse took effect. [to Pinkie Pie] Chapter seventeen.
Mrs. Trotsworth: Sounds like a tall tale to me. And a hard one to believe, now that I know Daring Do is a scoundrel and a thief! Every year, ponies come to offer precious glowpaz to the Somnambula statue in the village in hopes for a good future. Why, that poor fella had his glowpaz necklace stolen by Daring Do just yesterday!
Rainbow Dash: Hmmm...
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [gasps] There's A. K.!
Dr. Caballeron: Daring Do ruined our town and stole our precious glowpaz! We need to make sure that if she turns up again, there will be consequences! Everypony who's with me, meet at the statue tomorrow!
[ponies agreeing]
A. K. Yearling: [sighs] Now I'm getting blamed for things I didn't even do? Why would I steal from them?
Pinkie Pie: They are super bad! But we're still staying the night, right? [chomp] Because I already ate all the free mini muffins! [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Listen, A. K. After a good night's sleep, we're going to fix all of this. I promise.
[ponies murmuring]
A. K. Yearling: I shouldn't be here, Rainbow Dash. This is never gonna work.
Rainbow Dash: Of course it will! All I have to do is go up there and explain to everypony how wrong they all are.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! And then I'll be like, "What she said!"
A. K. Yearling: [sighs] Easy-peasy-cheesy...
Pinkie Pie: Exactly!
Dr. Caballeron: Here it is! The remains of your– I mean, our Somnambula statue! Now that Daring Do has destroyed it, tell me, where will we hang our glowpaz?
Random Villager: We don't even have any glowpaz because they were stolen by Daring Do!
[ponies shouting and booing]
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do would never steal anything! And okay, she destroyed your statue, but it was because she was trying to save you all from Ahuizotl!
[confused chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Ahuizotl? He's about yea big? Long neck? Itty-bitty face? Weird claw thingy on his tail?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! I know him! He's a baddie!
[concerned murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Trust me, if Ahuizotl had gotten away with the Doomed Diadem, your entire village would have been swallowed up! And that's a lot worse than losing some crummy old statue!
[ponies gasping]
"Cortland": Ahem! This was not some crummy old statue! It was the namesake of our town! If you want to understand us, you must first understand her.
Rainbow Dash: Who?
"Cortland": Somnambula. Long ago...
"Cortland": [narrating] ...this village fell prey to an evil Sphinx who demanded most of their crops. Like her fellow villagers, Somnambula didn't have much, but she used what she had to keep others from giving up hope. The son of the Pharaoh, Prince Hisan, was so moved by her compassion that he decreed nopony would go hungry again. But when Hisan stood up to the Sphinx, the beast captured him, telling the Pharaoh the only way to get Hisan back was to solve her riddle. Nopony would volunteer to save the prince. Nopony except Somnambula.
[adventurous music]
"Cortland": [narrating] The Sphinx gave her the riddle. "I shine brightest in the dark. I am there but cannot be seen. To have me costs you nothing. To be without me costs you everything." As Somnambula thought of the hardship she and her fellow villagers had experienced, she instantly knew the answer. "Hope!", she shouted.
[Sphinx roaring]
"Cortland": [narrating] The Sphinx was so enraged, it seemed she might still refuse to release the prince, so Somnambula asked her for one more challenge. But if she accomplished it, the Sphinx would leave from the kingdom forever. The Sphinx quickly agreed, asking only that Somnambula walk to the prince across a deep chasm... blindfolded! Further, the Sphinx had cast a powerful spell that prevented Somnambula from flying.
[Sphinx laughing evilly]
"Cortland": [narrating] But Somnambula never lost hope! She knew she'd need to make a leap of faith to save the prince. Guided by the sound of the prince's voice... she easily made it across.
[Sphinx roaring]
"Cortland": [narrating] The Pharaoh asked how Somnambula prevailed, and she explained that she had always hoped she could make things better for her people and that hope had carried her through. The Prince replaced the pearls Somnambula gave up with a string of glowpaz. And around her neck, they glowed bright enough to light the entire kingdom.
"Cortland": Forever after, glowpaz became our symbol of hope.
[ponies chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Wow. I had no idea how special the statue was to you. Somnambula sounds like a pretty cool pony. But I bet if she were here, she'd tell you how cool Daring Do is too, because they've both fought to protect this town!
[ponies chattering]
Dr. Caballeron: If Somnambula were here today, she would condemn Daring Do for destroying your– our symbol of hope!
[ponies booing and shouting]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, buddy! What did Daring Do ever do to you to deserve all this?!
Dr. Caballeron: Only... everything!
Rainbow Dash: Dr. Caballeron?!
Dr. Caballeron: Yes... Rainbow Dash. [laughing evilly] When I saw you, her closest friend, I knew that Daring Do would not be far behind. I really do owe you for leading her right to me.
Rainbow Dash: But I-I didn't mean to—
Dr. Caballeron: Thank you for helping me break Daring Do's spirit by destroying her reputation, but I can't have you running off and telling her my plan. [whistles]
Rainbow Dash: Help!
A. K. Yearling: Caballeron?! No!
Pinkie Pie: He's got Rainbow Dash! Come on!
Pinkie Pie: [panting] I'm... coming... Rainbow... Dash... [to Daring Do] Ah! I knew you'd come!
Daring Do: You did? I sure didn't. What if I cause more trouble?
Pinkie Pie: You won't.
Daring Do: How do you know?
Pinkie Pie: I just do! You wouldn't let anything happen to Rainbow Dash. You care too much.
Daring Do: You're right. Which way did they go? To the pyramid!
Rainbow Dash: Somepony help! Somepony! Anypony! Pinkie Pie?! Daring Do?! Is that you?!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Rainbow! We'll save you!
[rumbling, gurgling]
Dr. Caballeron: [laughing evilly] If my previous plan didn't cause you to give up, Daring Do, then the shame of losing your dear friend Rainbow Dash to the slime will! Oh, and that ancient magic from the legend is real. There'll be no flying in the pyramid! Good luck, Daring Do! [laughing evilly]
[slam]
Daring Do: [grunting] He's right! We'll never get to her in time!
Pinkie Pie: If this really is like Somnambula's story, then we just have to have hope that we can.
Daring Do: I think we need more than hope, Pinkie. There was a bridge in the story, and there's no bridge here. What are we going to do?
Rainbow Dash: [whimpering]
Pinkie Pie: I don't know, but Rainbow Dash is our friend. Just like Somnambula. We need to make a leap of faith and hope that we can save her! [grunts]
Daring Do: Pinkie!
[steam rushing]
Daring Do: Aha!
Pinkie Pie: Wheeee! [giggles] I knew we'd do it!
Daring Do: Thanks for reminding me to never give up hope, Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash: And I'm kinda "hoping" you ponies will untie me before we all take a bath in bubbling green slime!
Daring Do: We're on it!
[steam rushing]
[ponies chattering]
Daring Do: Not so fast, Caballeron!
Henchponies: [gasps]
[glowpaz clattering]
"Nile Faras": You stole our glowpaz!
[ponies shouting]
Daring Do: I should have known you were just trying to sully my name so that you'd be free to steal whatever you wanted.
Dr. Caballeron: Of course that was the plan, Daring Do! At first I just wanted the glowpaz, but then I saw an opportunity to write you out of the story for good! [laughing evilly]
[ponies gasping]
Dr. Caballeron: And with the destruction you leave in your wake, it didn't take too much to convince ponies you were a villain!
Daring Do: You're wrong, Caballeron. And I won't let you break my spirit again. Because I'm never going to give up hope that I can protect ponies and ancient treasures from miscreants like you!
[ponies shouting in agreement]
Dr. Caballeron: R-Remember! She ruined your statue! You're fools to believe in her! [growls] You'll pay for this, Daring Do!
[ponies cheering]
Daring Do: Okay, okay, that's enough. [to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie] Thanks for helping me come to my senses. You two are true friends.
Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? That... was... awesome!
Pinkie Pie: We're just glad you're back to your old self again.
Daring Do: [chuckles] Me too. But I'm glad I realized that even if you're fighting for something good, you're still responsible for your actions.
Rainbow Dash: And if something bad happens that you didn't intend, you shouldn't give up hope or lose faith in yourself.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! All you gotta do is make it right. Feel free to use that in your next book!
Daring Do: You know, I think I will.
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [squealing and laughing]
[Egyptian-style music]
[ponies cheering]
[credits]

It Isn't the Mane Thing About You

[ponies chattering]
[flowers rustling]
Filthy Rich: Hmph! Looks like I'm not the only one who left Mares Day to the last minute.
Sweetie Drops: There's just so many! How can I choose?!
[angry crowd chattering]
Rose: Now, hang on, everypony! We'll help all of you!
Sweetie Drops: How?!
Rarity: What I would do...
[crowd gasps]
Rarity: ...is pick flowers that accentuate my mane. It makes for a captivating color story when you present them to whomever they're intended.
[boop]
[flowers rustling]
Lily Valley: That's it!
Rose: Color consultations was a great idea, Rarity! Now, what can we do for you?
Rarity: Oh, darling, I need a dozen lavender pieces for Photo Finish's shoot on the most beautiful manes in Equestria.
[beat]
Rarity: I know you're swamped, but it's for Vanity Mare! She's going to take pictures of my mane, so color coordination is a must.
Rose: Anything for you, Rarity.
[fans blowing]
Rarity: Have you a single big one? If the wind came from one direction, it would really intensify the effect.
Mr. Breezy: I don't. Uh, but I could make you one! It's not like I've got anything else to do.
[door opens]
[whistle]
Rarity: Hmm. I do enjoy the windswept look, but other ponies might need to see it before they feel it.
[switch clicks]
[door opens]
[ponies aah-ing]
Rarity: My mane will be flowing over the chaise in the tableau I have in mind. But I was hoping to choose the color. Could you make one in a pale yellow? I need something across the color wheel from this. [giggles]
"Chelsea Porcelain": Oh, if these came in different colors, I'd buy one for every room.
Davenport: Hmm... Sales have been down. More colors it is!
[bits clinking]
[bell rings]
Rarity: Pinkie? I need to put Photo Finish in a good mood, and nothing creates a better mood than your confecti— Ooh. Am I interrupting?
Pinkie Pie: We were just celebrating the anniversary of the twins' first sneezes! [giggles] [clears throat]
Just about one year ago
There was a tickle in your nose
You snorted through the nursery
[snorts]
Happy Sneeze-iversary!
Achoo! Achoo! Aaaaa-choo!
[can squirting]
Rarity: [deadpan] Congratulations.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [blow on candles]
[theme song]
[stretching]
[snap!]
Rarity: [shrieks] Pinkie! I can't have Photo Finish shoot my mane like this! And this party string won't come off!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that's because it's not just party string. It's super-sticky celebration string!
Rarity: [low growl]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry. I guess my sneeze-versary was a little too sneeze-abratory. [giggles nervously]
Rarity: [shuddering sigh] It'll be fine, Pinkie. I'll find a way to clean this up before the shoot tomorrow. [whimper] Actually, you might consider doing the same.
[stretching]
Pinkie Pie: [grunting, straining] If only we had some kind of super-sudsy mane conditioning shampoo for you and a magical cleaning remover potion for me.
Rarity: [gasps] That's it! We'll pay a visit to Zecora! She's a wonder with a cauldron. I'm sure she can mix up a fix for both of us.
Pinkie Pie: [straining]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: That's good, because it would take forever to yank all of those baked goods out of the super-sticky celebration string.
Rarity: I... think you may still have some baking to do.
[eerie music]
Rarity: I do wish Zecora lived in town. One shouldn't have to brave the darkest part of the forest for shampoo.
Pinkie Pie: Do you think Photo Finish would want to take a picture of my mane?
[bird flapping]
Rarity: Well, uh... Hmm...I'm not sure that your style is quite right for this particular photo essay. Photo Finish travelled everywhere in her search for the most beautiful of manes.
Pinkie Pie: [shaking]
[poink!]
Creature: [yelp]
Pinkie Pie: Even Yakyakistan?
Rarity: Well, yaks don't have manes, per se, and I'm not sure their style is quite what she's looking for either.
[splash]
Rarity: Though at this moment, neither is mine.
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry! Zecora will abso-tively be able to help!
Rarity: I'm sure you're right.
[beat]
Rarity: Listen, spooky eyes! Why don't you take a picture?! It will last longer!
[creatures squeaking]
Rarity: On second thought, don't. Getting my picture taken in this state is what I'm trying to avoid!
Rarity: Are you certain that's safe?
Zecora: I'm sure they seem strange, but my methods are mine. After all, I've been doing this for quite a long time.
Pinkie Pie: I'll have those cupcakes cleaned off in no time!
Rarity: You really should bake new ones.
Pinkie Pie: Nah!
Zecora: For your mane, of course, just soap will do, so use my super-sudsy shampoo.
Rarity: Oh-ho, what a relief! I can't tell you how worried I was that my mane wouldn't be ready for the shoot. [laughs]
Zecora: You were right to be concerned. Manes are tricky, I have learned.
Rarity: Oh! [scoffs] Tell me about it!
Zecora: Cleaning is simple, but a magical fix could cause any number of troublesome ticks.
Pinkie Pie: Really?
Zecora: Oh, there are tales I could tell to make your hair stand on end. Horrifying, terrifying attempts to mane-mend!
Rarity: Well, I do enjoy a good yarn, but I'm not sure I could take anymore mane fright today.
Pinkie Pie: Well, I love a good scary story! [giggles]
Zecora: There's the contagious frizz that spreads friend to friend, or the story of the infinitely splitting end!
Rarity: [screams]
[clatter]
Rarity: Uh-huh, hmm, yes, well, very entertaining. Uh, thanks for the shampoo. Ta-ta!
Pinkie Pie: Anything about curls that keep on curling until your whole body is one big curl?
Zecora: [laughs] There is one story I nearly forgot: of an Earth pony who needed to clean up her shop.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! That's just what I have to do! Huh, weird.
Zecora: Perhaps it'd be better if I were more clear. You can't clean up Sugarcube Corner from here.
Pinkie Pie: Geez, Zecora, I can take a hint.
Zecora: With just a few drops, any mess you'll improve if you focus on that which you want to remove.
Pinkie Pie: It won't be hard to focus on the super-sticky celebration string. It's kinda the only thing you can see.
Pinkie Pie: Zecora says it would only take a few drops, but I figured we should all chip in. Just in case! Remember to only focus on the party string. We don't wanna accidentally remove anything else.
Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [babbling]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Sudsy! [giggles]
Rarity: [humming] A relaxing shower really gives you the chance to focus on the fabulosity of your mane! [laughs, sniff sniff] Not the most pleasant scent, but it gets the job done. [humming] My mane feels lighter alrea— [screams]
Zecora: [sipping]
[door opens]
Zecora: [spits]
Rarity: It's important that you know that I am not pointing hooves, but—
Zecora: I don't understand. Is that you, Rarity? Why would you think to point your hooves at me?
Rarity: Let's just say I understand why your shampoo hasn't made a splash in the marketplace.
[cloak rustling]
Rarity: Goodness, Zecora! You could at least pretend it isn't that bad!
Zecora: I'm sorry, my dear, but there is nothing to say. You just took the wrong potion from here yesterday.
Rarity: Oh, thank goodness! I thought maybe your shampoo had triggered early-onset mare pattern baldness!
Zecora: No, this lack of hair was put into motion when you mistakenly washed with remover potion.
Rarity: [laughing] Oh, what a relief! Well, if you could just whip up a cure, I'll be on my way. So much to do before the shoot tomorrow.
Zecora: As I mentioned before, there's no easy fix. Mane-mending magic's the trickiest of tricks.
Rarity: [mumbling] Sorry?
Zecora: I doubt that your mane has left us forever. There is a chance we can fix it, I think, if we're clever.
Rarity: W-w-w-w-w-w-wait, there's, there's a chance?! You think?!
Zecora: I need to focus if I'm to work any faster. One wrong ingredient spells utter disaster. You should go finish your list of to-dos. Keep your mind off of all of these mane-losing blues.
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: [exhales] There's nothing to worry about. Zecora will have a cure before I've even finished my to-dos. But I don't know if I can even show my face looking like this!
Caramel: [gasps]
"Mint Flower": [crying]
Rose: I'm sorry, miss, but I can't match your mane if I can't see it.
Golden Harvest: What about mine?
Rose: Marigold, I should think!
Rarity: Uh, sorry. I, uh, believe it was my turn, and I-I-I-I just need to pick up some—
[flowers rustling]
Golden Harvest: Perfect!
Merry May: Now me!
[squeak]
Customer Pony: It's wonderful how this display shows that your fans provide just the right amount of air!
Mr. Breezy: Well, I owe it all to Rarity.
Rarity: Oh, so kind of you to say. I-I—
Mr. Breezy: Kindness has nothing to do with it! Rarity always knows how to make something look its best. Probably because she looks so good herself! That ain't something us non-fabulous folk here can understand.
Rarity: N-Non-fabulous?!
[customers agreeing]
[ponies muttering]
Davenport: Now I appreciate everypony's interest in our new sofa colors, but the yellow one is spoken for.
Rarity: Oh, thank you, Davenport. Um, perhaps I can pick it up once everypony leav—
Berryshine: I'll give you twice whatever the pony who wants to buy the yellow one is paying!
Sprinkle Medley: Three times!
Rarity: But— But— I— I—
Davenport: Sold!
[ripping noise]
[crowd gasps]
Rarity: [worried shriek]
Rarity: I can't believe how differently ponies treat you when you can't command their attention.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure that's what happened?
Starlight Glimmer: Wait. You can't command ponies' attention because your mane's messed up?
Rarity: "Messed up"? Does this look "messed up" to you?!
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Rarity: Honestly! How hard is it to pretend it's not so bad?
Starlight Glimmer: Hard.
Rarity: If today is any indication of how ponies will treat me from now on, I can't simply wait to see if my mane grows back!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Rarity. I'm sure nopony means to make you feel worse than you already do.
Starlight Glimmer: Didn't you say Zecora was working on a cure?
Rarity: Yes, well, even if everypony isn't utterly indifferent to my presence, Zecora might not be able to fix this in time for the shoot. Can't you do a spell to restore some semblance of my mane?!
Starlight Glimmer: The thing is, it's pretty much like Zecora said. Fixing manes with magic is—
Rarity: Tricky! I know! I don't care! Make with the tricks!
Starlight Glimmer: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[magic zap]
"Silver Medal": [screams]
[shattering]
[magic zap]
[bird pecking]
Rarity: This won't do! I need an actual mane!
Starlight Glimmer: But it has to come from somewhere.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you can't just make a mane with magic. The results could be disastrous.
Rarity: More disastrous than this?!
[thump]
[magic zaps]
[flapping noise]
[scissors snipping]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I don't think there's anything else we can try.
Rarity: [panicked stuttering] B-But Zecora said there was still a chance!
[door opens]
Zecora: At last, Rarity, I have searched for so long! What I told you before was totally wrong!
Twilight Sparkle: Zecora, you found a cure? That's amazing!
Rarity: [sighs in relief] You mean I'll get my fabulous mane back in time for the shoot?
Zecora: Oh, no. I'm afraid I can't fix it before the big shoot. But in time, the hair will grow back from the root. There's no magical cure to hasten us through it, unless you went backward in time to undo it.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh-uh. I think we can both say that's not a good option.
Rarity: [groans, bawling]
Rarity: I have always believed that the right outfit can make up for any other areas that are lacking. But I will need your honest opinions. [nervous ta-da] How awful is it?
Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: [simultaneously] Uhhh...
Opalescence: [yowls]
Rarity: Oh, come on! Can't anypony pretend it's not bad?!
Fluttershy: We could, um, try.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe...?
Rarity: Well, if any of you have an idea how to make this disaster look good enough for Photo Finish's piece in Vanity Mare on the most beautiful manes in Equestria, [sobbing] I'm open to hearing it!
Applejack: Is that all?
Rainbow Dash: No problem!
Rarity: Hm?
[Bessie being milked]
Rarity: I don't understand, Applejack. How is milking a cow going to help?
Applejack: That's just it. It looks like we hired a new milkmaid...
Granny Smith: This is pretty close to my color as a young'un!
Applejack: Just a little down-home ingenuity.
Rarity: It's a good idea, Applejack, but Photo Finish is looking for the most beautiful manes, not bonnets.
[thip]
Applejack: [laughs nervously]
Rainbow Dash: This'll do the trick. Just you wait!
[spinning noises]
Rarity: [gasps] You know, this is really quite fetching!
Rainbow Dash: Yes! Nailed it!
[poof]
Rarity: ...Just not portable.
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Harry: [growling]
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: There!
Rarity: Oh, let's face it. I'll just have to call Photo Finish and cancel.
Twilight Sparkle: I think we all know how bad Rarity's been feeling, but I never thought she'd cancel her shoot with Photo Finish.
Rainbow Dash: You saw her mane, right?
Applejack: But it's Rarity. If anypony can turn lemons into lemonade, it's her.
Fluttershy: I guess it's harder for her when she feels like the lemon.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she's not a lemon – she's our friend. And right now, she needs our support.
[knocking]
Rarity: [muffled] Come in.
[bell rings]
Rarity: Would you mind closing the door? I'm more comfortable in the dark.
[click]
Applejack: Okay, Rarity, you've done just about enough sulkin'! Havin' a fabulous mane is a wonderful thing, but it ain't the only thing!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! And we're here to remind you how awesome you are, mane or no mane!
Rarity: [sighs] It's lovely of you to say, but it's hard to argue with cold, hard facts.
Fluttershy: What facts are those?
Rarity: That without my mane, I simply can't shine as I once did, and ponies treat me like the sad, invisible pony I've become.
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, you're not invisible. You're our friend. A friend that started a fashion empire.
Fluttershy: A friend who made us all feel beautiful in her lovely creations.
Rainbow Dash: A friend who stuck by us, no matter what!
Applejack: A friend so generous that she once chopped off her own tail to help a sea serpent.
Twilight Sparkle: I know you lost some confidence when you lost your mane, but unlike your hair, confidence is something you can get back right now.
Rarity: Goodness... You're right! The only pony behaving differently today was me! Besides, what doesn't shine from the outside in...
Starlight Glimmer: Um, Rarity, what are you doing?
Rarity: I'm preparing to shine from the inside out!
[guitar twang]
Rest of main cast and Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!
[flowers rustling]
Filthy Rich: It's my own fault. I shouldn't have bought flowers without asking Spoiled what she likes.
Rose: Well, we don't have much left. What does she like?
Filthy Rich: Um, uh... purple?
Rarity: I have a solution!
[guitar twang]
Rose: Rarity, that mane is...
Daisy and Lily Valley: Amazing!
Rarity: Thank you. Although I'm afraid I missed my chance at Vanity Mare, which means I have quite a few lavender arrangements to spare.
Filthy Rich: Uh, is lavender purple?
[flowers rustling]
[fans blowing]
Rarity: Mm... The windswept look is very last-season. Perhaps you could set this up outside. It's sure to draw in the hoof traffic.
[fan blowing]
Stallion: Ahhh!
[crowd chattering]
[bits clinking]
Rarity: Photoshoot or no, you can always use a chaise!
Applejack: Well, Rarity, if you wanted to shine from the inside out, I think this afternoon, you became the brightest filly in Equestria!
Rarity: Oh, pshaw, Applejack. I'm simply making up for all the time I wasted feeling sorry for myself.
Rainbow Dash: I don't know why you were so upset. Your mane looks awesome!
Rarity: I'm just glad I have all of you to remind me that even if I accidentally use magical remover potion on my mane, I can look good on the outside as long as I feel good on the inside.
Twilight Sparkle: How'd you end up using remover potion on your head, anyway?
Rarity: [gasps] Pinkie!
Rarity: If I had the remover potion this whole time, that means Pinkie must have the—
[door opens]
[flooding noise]
Pinkie Pie: Wheeeeeeee! [giggling]
Rarity: ...shampoo.
Pinkie Pie: Shampoo? Wow! That explains why our manes are all so bouncy and soft!
[guitar twang]
Rarity: Uh, perhaps I'll fetch the rest of that remover potion.
Pinkie Pie: Great! Hey, is there something different about you? New hoof polish?
Rarity: So you're sure? You're sure it's fully recovered?
Applejack: Yes, Rarity. It's been months. Your mane looks fine.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, look! It's the "Most Beautiful Manes in Equestria" issue of Vanity Mare! You should read it.
Rarity: Oh, honestly, Pinkie? After all I went through, I'm not sure it even matters what mane graces the page—
[whap]
Pinkie Pie: Read it!
Rarity: But I... I cancelled the shoot.
Applejack: We had a little talk with Photo Finish.
Fluttershy: And explained just how beautiful we thought you were. Inside and out.
[pages flicking]
Rainbow Dash: While you were shining from the inside out, Photo Finish took a few pictures.
Rarity: I don't know what to say!
Applejack: Luckily, you don't have to say anything. Your style speaks for itself.
Mane cast: [encouraging noises]
[credits]

A Health of Information

Fluttershy: Thank you so much, Zecora. I never would've found the crisscross moss without you.
Zecora: Of course. I know where it grows, so it's not much to ask. Though retrieving it has been a difficult task.
Fluttershy: Oh, but the oxen visiting Sweet Feather Sanctuary next week will surely appreciate it. It really adds a shine to their coat.
[splut]
Zecora: There we go. Now, that wasn't so tough. Fluttershy, tell me, will this be enough?
Fluttershy: Gee, I don't know. It's a pretty big pack. So maybe enough to fill up this sack? [gasps, laughs] Oh, my! You're rubbing off on me, Zecora!
Zecora: Whoa. Whoa!
[branch snaps]
[splash]
Fluttershy: [screams] Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!
Zecora: [gasps]
Fluttershy: Zecora, are you all right?
Zecora: No need to fret. I only got wet. At least now I can easily grab all the crisscross moss there is to be had.
[poof]
Fluttershy: [gasps] What's happening to you?
Zecora: Honestly, it's hard to tell. But suddenly, I don't feel so well...
Fluttershy: [gasps deeply]
[theme song]
Dr. Horse: All right, Zecora. Let's have a listen to the old ticker.
[jazz drum solo]
Dr. Horse: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Fluttershy: Do you think it's serious, doctor?
Dr. Horse: Well, that wasn't a good sign.
Fluttershy: I can't believe a flower did this. I take back thinking it was pretty!
Zecora: [coughing]
Dr. Horse: Mm-hmm. We're looking for any color other than red.
Fluttershy: Phew. [gasps loudly]
Dr. Horse: Oh, it's just as I thought. I'm afraid you have a very rare disease called... [echoing] Swamp Fever!
[thunder and lightning]
Zecora: Tell me, doctor. What should I do? I've never heard of Swamp Fever, mind you.
Dr. Horse: Unfortunately, very little is known about the disease. Except, of course, its symptoms – change of coat, coughing bubbles, shock sneezing, confusion, and the last stage, the afflicted turn into the very trees that drop the disease-spreading flower.
Zecora: Oh! Is there anything that can be done for such a terrible conundrum?!
Dr. Horse: A cure has yet to be discovered. I'm sorry, Zecora.
Zecora: Hmmm.
Dr. Horse: It's a lot to take in. I'll leave you two to discuss.
[door closes]
Fluttershy: Zecora, this is all my fault! If you hadn't been helping me get the crisscross moss, you wouldn't have gotten Swamp Fever. I'm so sorry.
Zecora: Fluttershy, you are not to blame. These things happen all the same.
Fluttershy: I refuse to accept that! There has to be somepony who can help you!
Zecora: Oh. There's a healer of legend who never would fail. But I only know her from ancient folktales. Mystical and masked, she came in the night and cured everything from hoof cough to fur blight. What became of the healer, nopony knows, for she disappeared ages and ages ago.
Fluttershy: The Mystical Mask! Of course! My parents would tell me about her whenever I was sick in bed.
Zecora: There's so many accounts of her power to heal. She can't just be a legend. I think she's real.
Fluttershy: If that's who we need to cure you, then I'm going to find her! And I know just the pony who can help!
Fluttershy: [pants] Oh.
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Twilight? Twilight? Twilight! Oh, I'm so sorry to bother— Are... Are you cooking?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Spike and I are having a cook-off!
Spike: My cauliflower bites blew her sweet potato muffins out of the water!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're here, Fluttershy, because we're gonna need a second opinion about that.
Fluttershy: [grunts, gulps, grunts, gulps] Um, they're both delicious, but... [quickly] Zecora-has-Swamp-Fever-and-there's-no-cure-and-it's-all-my-fault-and-the-only-pony-who-can-cure-it-is-the-Mystical-Mask-and-I-need-your-help-to-find-her!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Spike: So, what'd she pick? The cauliflower bites, right?
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] That's the last book on ancient ponies, and still no mention of the Mystical Mask.
Fluttershy: Hmm. Did we check the unabridged versions?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, and the books on rare diseases, the books on rare plants, and the entire section on bog habitation.
Fluttershy: Well, we might have to look through every book in the entire library, but I know we'll figure it out.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
[music]
Fluttershy: [sighs] Another dead end. Have you found anything yet, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Fluttershy: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[thud]
Fluttershy: Goodness! Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I'm fine. Fluttershy, you know that I want to help Zecora. But I think we'd be a lot better off if we got some sleep. We've been at this for hours.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how late it had gotten.
Twilight Sparkle: No problem. I'll grab you a pillow and—
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no. I meant you should sleep. I can't rest until Zecora is healed.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand how you feel, but I still think we'd have more luck if we tried again in the morning. Just promise me you'll take a break soon.
Fluttershy: [not listening] Mm-hmm.
Twilight Sparkle: [yawns] Good night, Fluttershy.
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: [snoring] 9-by-13-inch pan...
[thud!]
Fluttershy: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: [awake] Nonstick pans!
Spike: [groans] What's all the commotion in here, ladies?
Fluttershy: Sorry, but I figured out who the Mystical Mask is!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] You did?!
Fluttershy: All I had to do was cross-reference a book about masks with another book on ancient Equestrian healers, then use a third book to translate it all from Olde Ponish, and there it was! Zecora was right! The Mystical Mask wasn't just a legend. The Mystical Mask was Mage Meadowbrook!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps deeply] The ancient sorceress from Hayseed Swamp? We studied her at Celestia's school! Are you sure?
Fluttershy: Absolutely! Mage Meadowbrook wasn't just a sorceress. She was also a healer, and back then, healers wore masks so they wouldn't get sick themselves!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I am so incredibly proud of you for using your research skills to figure this out! But Meadowbrook lived ages ago, and didn't she disappear?
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. But if we go to Hayseed Swamp, maybe we can find something she left behind! Something that could lead to a cure!
Twilight Sparkle: It seems like a long shot, but I guess it's possible.
[pyow!]
Fluttershy: [grunting] We have to try! I've got a route all planned out, and on the way, we can check up on Zecora, and then—
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're leaving now?
Fluttershy: Of course! Every second we spend waiting is a second Zecora is coughing bubbles!
Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy, you haven't slept! And that's a long journey!
Fluttershy: There's no use trying to talk me out of this, Twilight! [grunts] We've got no time to waste!
Twilight Sparkle: Can we at least grab some breakfast?
Fluttershy: I packed cauliflower bites.
Twilight Sparkle: Aw. No sweet potato muffins?
Spike: I, uh, ate them all. They were actually really good. [chuckles]
Fluttershy: And that's when I realized the Mystical Mask was actually Mage Meadowbrook!
Zecora: [coughs] That's marvelous, Fluttershy. I am quite impressed. While you are gone on your journey, I'll try not to be... worried.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, no. Zecora, you didn't rhyme! You must be getting worse.
Zecora: Oh. No, no, no, not at all. Something... something... ball? [sneezes]
[electricity crackles]
Fluttershy: [gasps] That's it! We have to go now!
Twilight Sparkle: Lead the way, Fluttershy.
[thud]
[circling birdies]
Fluttershy: [groans]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[thump]
[music]
Twilight Sparkle: So... [chuckles nervously] where do you think Meadowbrook lived?
Fluttershy: [yawns] I'm not sure. Maybe there's somepony we can ask.
Twilight Sparkle: I think we might be the only ponies here.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Wait! I recognize that tree! [gasps] Yes! This has to be it! It's just like the illustrations of her home!
Twilight Sparkle: Anypony who lives in a tree is okay by me.
Fluttershy: [grunts] Phew. Well, if the doorway is sealed up, we'll just have to dig our way in. Back up, Twilight! I don't want you to get hurt! [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Or we could try the handle.
Fluttershy: [laughs nervously] It really blends in with the bark.
Twilight Sparkle: Easy to miss.
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Wow. It looks like this place has been abandoned for years. [gasps] Twilight, look! It's the same kind of lilypad that gave Zecora Swamp Fever! Hmm. I wonder if Meadowbrook was looking for a cure for Swamp Fever, too. [gasps] Do you think she found it?
Twilight Sparkle: I hope so, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
[loud squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: That's exactly what I'm talking about. You're making your excited squeaking noise!
Fluttershy: Uh, I wasn't making my excited squeaking noise.
[loud squeak]
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: [scream]
Cattail: [Cajun accent] Y'all can stop screamin' now. Didn't mean to scare ya. I do that a lot.
Twilight Sparkle: Scare ponies or rock creepily in the dark?
Cattail: Well, both, I s'pose. Name's Cattail. Pleased to meet ya.
Fluttershy: Likewise, but, um, may I ask, why are you in Mage Meadowbrook's home?
Cattail: Oh, I take care of the place. I ain't much of a cleaner, but from what I hear, my kin wasn't neither. So I doubt they'd mind a few cobwebs in our ancestral home.
Fluttershy: [gasps] You're related to Mage Meadowbrook?
Cattail: Mm-hmm.
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness, Twilight, we did it! Not only did we find Mage Meadowbrook's old house – we actually found one of her descendants!
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, I would not have guessed it.
Cattail: So you're lookin' for some kind o' cure, huh? Well, now, I know Meadowbrook was known to always be writin' in her journals. If she had the cure you want, I reckon that's where it'd be. Come on. I'll show ya the library.
Twilight Sparkle: Library?! Now we're talkin'!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Well... [chuckles] Libraries come in all shapes and sizes.
Fluttershy: This is good. It'll take us less time to go through everything.
[thud]
Fluttershy: [blows air, reading] "Today, my mom made me eat peas. Peas are yucky." And we can probably skip this one, unless she found a cure when she was a foal.
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "I met a colt today. He pulled my mane, so I put a frog on his head." Also not helpful, but I do kinda want to see where it goes. [grumbles]
Fluttershy: Wait! Listen to this! [reading] "Today, I tried again to brew an unsniffle elixir..."
Fluttershy and Mage Meadowbrook: [crossfading] [Cajun accent] ...and I finally got it right!
Chipmunk: [sneezing]
[sipping noise]
Chipmunk: [sighs]
Meadowbrook's Mother: Meadowbrook, I think it's time you had this.
[thumping]
Mage Meadowbrook: [gasps] My very own healer's mask! You think I'm ready, mother?
Meadowbrook's Mother: Mm-hm.
[knocking]
[door opens]
Meadowbrook's Mother: [gasps] What caused this?
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] Mother calls it Swamp Fever. We've been tryin' to find a cure, but it hasn't been easy.
[lily puffs]
Meadowbrook's Mother: [coughing]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Royal Pin: [coughs]
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] The fever spread like wildfire.
[ponies sneezing and coughing]
Meadowbrook's Mother: [coughing]
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] I fear if we don't find a cure soon, everypony will be in grave danger!
Meadowbrook's Mother: [coughing]
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] With mother sick, I didn't think I'd ever find a cure. But starin' at those cursed flowers today, I saw somethin'.
[flash bees buzzing]
[lilies puffing]
Mage Meadowbrook: [gasps] Flash bees! [narrating] I realized the flowers' poison didn't affect the flash bees. And if they were immune to Swamp Fever, their honey could be the cure!
[flash bees buzzing]
[branch snaps]
[flash bees buzzing]
[zaps]
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] But they were so aggressive defendin' their hive, I didn't know how I was gonna get it!
[flash bees buzzing]
Mage Meadowbrook: Here goes nothin'!
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] Today, I cured mother...
Fluttershy and Mage Meadowbrook: [crossfading] ...and the rest of the bayou!
Fluttershy: [reading] "It was the greatest feeling I've ever experienced, and I promise to dedicate my life to curing ponies all over Equestria!"
Cattail: And she did just that. Right up 'til she disappeared without a trace.
Fluttershy: So all we have to do is find those aggressive flash bees and get them to give us their honey! Of course, it doesn't say how she did that...
[beat]
Fluttershy: What? Is my mane messy? I know I haven't slept in a while, but... [gasps] Oh, no! I've caught Swamp Fever!
Fluttershy: Huh?
[thump, thump]
Twilight Sparkle: [slightly muffled] Are you sure these are necessary?
Fluttershy: What?
Twilight Sparkle: I said, are you sure these are necessary?
Fluttershy: Yes! I won't risk infecting you or Cattail!
Twilight Sparkle: What you can't risk is getting any sicker! If you don't rest, your symptoms will only get worse!
Fluttershy: [coughs]
Cattail: Mm-hmm. You really should rest up before going up against those flash bees. They are nasty critters.
Fluttershy: Um, you don't know this about me, but I'm pretty good with animals. And besides, Dogtail—
Cattail: Cattail.
Fluttershy: Um, Zecora is counting on me. I have to help her, just like Meadowbrook helped her mother and all those bayou ponies long ago!
Twilight Sparkle: But Fluttershy, as much as Meadowbrook took care of other ponies, I'm sure she also took care of herself.
Fluttershy: [strained] You're not gonna change my mind, Twilight!
Cattail: Ooh. For bein' sick, she sure is strong.
Cattail: The flash beehive is just up yonder.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?
Fluttershy: No! It's too dangerous, Twilight. Besides, I've already gotten one friend hurt. I won't let it happen to another. [exhales] Okay, Fluttershy, you can do this! [coughs]
Fluttershy: [panting] [straining] Mind over matter! [grunts] [straining, panting]
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: Hello, flash bees! I was hoping I could get some of your honey.
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: Oh! I see. You don't let others have any. Well, I'm sorry, but I really need it.
[zap]
Fluttershy: [squeaks] I didn't want it to have to come to this, but I'll just have to use... the Stare!
[flash bees buzzing]
[zap, zap, zap]
Fluttershy: [shrieks] [coughs] You really are aggressive! [coughs] Oh, dear. [whimpers]
Fluttershy: [groans] What happened? Where am I?
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales] I'm so glad you're okay. You're still in Meadowbrook's tree.
Cattail: You fainted, but Twilight shot some magic up and caught ya. It was crazy.
Fluttershy: Goodness gracious! [coughs] Have you heard from Zecora? Is she okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh...
Cattail: We got word your zebra friend has started sproutin' leaves.
Fluttershy: She's already turning into a tree?! I thought we'd have more time!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, you've been asleep for three days.
Fluttershy: Three days?!
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. You were asleep so long, we were afraid you wouldn't be able to move when you woke up. But thankfully, you just wore yourself down!
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. We have to get back to the hive! I've wasted so much time, and—!
Cattail: Now hang on there, Fluttershy. Those flash bee critters are tricky.
Twilight Sparkle: Cattail's right. I can't even use magic to calm them down. We'll have to find another way to get the honey.
Cattail: We've tried everything from disguises to things I won't even speak of. [shudders]
Twilight Sparkle: He's been through a lot these past three days.
Fluttershy: Wait... Disguises...
[flash bee buzzing]
Fluttershy: [gasps] That's it! I know how she did it! I know how Meadowbrook got the honey!
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: This is how Meadowbrook got the honey from the flash bees!
Cattail: She threw a mask at 'em? I wouldn't recommend that.
Fluttershy: No. The male bees aren't aggressive around the queen bee, and this mask has the same stripes that she does.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, that's brilliant!
Fluttershy: [sneezes]
[zap]
Cattail: Whoa!
Fluttershy: There's no time to waste!
Twilight Sparkle: Hooves crossed!
Cattail: Oh, golly! I can't watch!
Fluttershy: [coughs] Mind over matter!
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: [buzzing]
[splat]
Fluttershy: Twilight... It's working!
Zecora: [gulps]
[leaves rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: I think she's cured now, Fluttershy.
Zecora: Ohhh, I do feel fine, and this honey is divine.
Fluttershy: Oh, you're rhyming again! Welcome back, my friend!
Zecora: Thank you, Fluttershy, for all you endured. If not for you, I would not be cured.
Fluttershy: Oh, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been sick in the first place.
Zecora: Regret is not what you should feel, because on this journey, you've learned a great deal.
Fluttershy: That's true. I certainly learned that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anypony else. In fact, if I had rested like Twilight had suggested all along, maybe I would have thought to use Meadowbrook's mask sooner.
[window squeaking]
Dr. Horse: [coughing]
[bubbles popping]
Dr. Horse: Please tell me you found the cure! [sneezes, sneezes]
[credits]

Marks and Recreation

Apple Bloom: Okay! let's see how your still life's comin' along, Kettle Corn!
[beat]
Sweetie Belle: Well, that certainly is... round.
Kettle Corn: I can make it rounder!
Apple Bloom: I'm afraid that's all the time we have today. We'll try somethin' else tomorrow.
Kettle Corn: But I like circle painting.
Scootaloo: And on the way to figuring out what you're meant to do, you'll find a ton more stuff you like. That's what makes looking for your cutie mark so great.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm.
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Sorry, everypony. We're closin' up shop. We'll have to help you out tomorrow.
Foals: Awwww!
[door closes]
Scootaloo: I don't know if we can help them tomorrow. Working with blank flanks one at a time takes forever.
Apple Bloom: If only there was a way we could help a whole herd of them at once.
Sweetie Belle: That would be perfect! We'd save time and they could help each other!
Scootaloo: Just like we used to! Oh, but it'd have to be somewhere big enough to handle all those blank flanks.
Sweetie Belle: Somewhere outside, with tons of activities to try.
Apple Bloom: Are you two thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Cutie Mark Day Camp!
Apple Bloom: And I know just the place, Applejack used to go there when she was little.
Scootaloo: Camp Friendship! Oh. Sorry. I thought we were all gonna yell that one too.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Attention, all blank flanks!
Scootaloo: And blank flank affiliates! Come to our cutie mark day camp to find out what you're truly good at!
Sweetie Belle: Bond with other blank flanks and find out what you're meant to do together!
[ponies chattering]
Scootaloo: Hey, Rumble!
Rumble: Oh, hey, Crusaders. Look, I can't stop. I've gotta meet my brother for... something.
Apple Bloom: No problem. Just wanted to make sure you heard about our cutie mark day camp. The first session's tomorrow.
[paper being scrunched]
Thunderlane: What'cha got there, little brother?
Rumble: What? Oh, nothing. Come on! I want to show you a new dive roll I'm trying.
[whoosh]
[paper being uncrumpled]
Scootaloo: Come one, come all! Cutie Mark Day Camp is for blank flanks of all kinds!
Thunderlane: Hmmm...
[foals laughing and chattering]
Apple Bloom: Welcome, cutie mark campers!
Sweetie Belle: Who's excited to be here?
Foals: We are! [dissolves into excited chatter]
Sweetie Belle: Well, we're excited too! At Cutie Mark Day Camp, you'll be able to try all kinds of things!
Apple Bloom: Kayaking!
Scootaloo: Horseshoe-tossing!
Kettle Corn: Circle-painting!
Apple Bloom: You can try 'em all! But the most important thing is that you'll be tryin' them together.
Scootaloo: That's what worked for us!
Thunderlane: Then I bet it'll work for these little guys too!
[foals gasping]
[ding]
Rumble: I thought you said we were gonna go practice for the Wonderbolts Ponyville Extravaganza show.
Thunderlane: I'm going to Wonderbolt practice. You're going to cutie mark practice.
Sweetie Belle: And we're glad to have you!
[foals making awed noises]
Skeedaddle: I can't believe your own brother is a Wonderbolt!
[more foal chatter]
Scootaloo: U-Uh, Rainbow Dash is practically my sister, and she's a Wonderbolt too!
[beat]
[foals laughing]
Pipsqueak: Do you know Spitfire?
Thunderlane: I know she'll be mad if I'm late. [to Rumble] Now you have a good time and try some stuff. Who knows what you'll be good at?
[horseshoe clinking]
[foals wowing]
Apple Bloom: All right! Looks like we found the first activity of the day – the horseshoe toss!
[foals cheering]
Thunderlane: Well, wish I could stay and play, but it's time to fly. Have fun!
[whooshing]
[foals making awed noises]
[horseshoe clinking]
Sweetie Belle: Come on, Rumble!
Apple Bloom: Step on up and show us how it's done!
Kettle Corn: No way he's as good as his brother.
Rumble: Egh.
[clink]
Rumble: [unenthusiastic] Whoops. Aw, it looks like I won't be getting my cutie mark in the horseshoe toss...
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry about it, Rumble. Hardly anypony finds their calling on the first try.
Rumble: Eh, I wasn't worried.
Scootaloo: Good! 'Cause there's a ton of other stuff to try. We'll find you something you're good at.
[foals cheering]
Rumble: [sighs]
[montage music]
[thump, splash]
Rumble: Whoops.
[thunking]
[twing]
Rumble: Whoopsie.
[hooves thumping]
[foals laughing]
[thump]
Rumble: Whoops.
[pencil scribbling]
Skeedaddle:
The first and last lines
Have five sy-lla-bles but the
Mid-ddle has sev-en.
It's called a haiku.
[scribbling]
[pencil breaks]
Rumble: [spits]
[unenthusiastic] Whoops. I've tried it all.
Time to tell my brother this
Camp isn't for me.
Scootaloo: Come on, Rumble. Isn't it fun just trying stuff?
Rumble: Not really.
[shimmer]
[foals cheering]
Kettle Corn:
Haiku cutie mark!
And I never would have tried
Without Skeedaddle.
Apple Bloom: That's what Cutie Mark Day Camp is all about.
Sweetie Belle: Working together and helping each other.
[foals cheering]
Kettle Corn: But I can still come back, right? And maybe paint some circles?
Scootaloo: Of course! Let's all meet right back here tomorrow.
Foals: Hooray!
Sweetie Belle: Wow. I can't believe we got a cutie mark on the first day!
Apple Bloom: Yup. This camp was a pretty swell idea. Everypony's really enjoyed it.
Scootaloo: [sighs] Everypony except Rumble. He didn't have much luck with anything.
Sweetie Belle: Trying to find out what you're meant to do can be frustrating. You remember how long it took us to get our cutie marks?
Apple Bloom: [shivers] I remember the nightmares.
Scootaloo: Well, we can't let Rumble quit camp just because he didn't find something he's good at then.
Sweetie Belle: We'll just have to convince him to come back and try harder!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm!
[whooshing]
[Wonderbolts motif]
Scootaloo: Hey, Rumble!
Rumble: What are you all doing here?
Scootaloo: We just wanted to apologize for not finding anything you liked today.
Rumble: Oh. Whatever. It's fine.
Apple Bloom: It's not fine. It's frustrating, and we know what it's like.
Rumble: I'm not frustrated!
Scootaloo: It's okay! We've all been there. But we won't give up on helping you.
Sweetie Belle: We know you'll get your cutie mark. Everypony does.
Rumble: Actually, I don't need your help. Because I don't want to get my cutie mark!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: What?!
Apple Bloom: I... I must have hay in my ears, because I thought I just heard Rumble say—
Rumble: You heard right! I don't want my cutie mark!
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] He said it again!
Scootaloo: Not wanting a cutie mark is like not wanting to breathe!
Sweetie Belle: Everypony wants to know what they're meant to do!
Rumble: Hmph! Not this pony.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Why?!
Rumble: Because cutie marks are silly, and... a-and they just force you into one thing your whole life!
Sweetie Belle: That's silly. Having a cutie mark doesn't mean you can't do other things.
Apple Bloom: Yeah! Our cutie marks are in helpin' other ponies with their cutie marks, but I still like makin' potions with Zecora.
Rumble: And when was the last time you did that?
Apple Bloom: Um... I-I-I think it was, uh... Well, we've been pretty busy helpin' other ponies lately.
Rumble: Oh. You mean doing the thing you got your cutie mark for? The thing you're stuck doing for the rest of your life?!
Sweetie Belle: Okay. Maybe we will be doing that more than anything else. But we love being Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Rumble: Well, that's fine for you, but I'm not gonna be put in a box!
Scootaloo: A blank flank who doesn't want a cutie mark? That's gotta be the strangest thing I've ever heard.
Apple Bloom: Granny always says, "Some ponies have to find their own hay."
Scootaloo: Are you sure she didn't mean "find their own way"?
Apple Bloom: Oh. That would make more sense.
Sweetie Belle: I can't believe Rumble isn't interested in getting his cutie mark either, but we can't force him.
Scootaloo: And we've got a whole camp full of ponies who are interested in getting cutie marks.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-hmm.
[whoosh]
Rumble: [sighs] Here he comes. The fastest, most elite flyer in Equestria!
Thunderlane: Thunderlane!
Rumble: Whoa! [yelps] Urgh... I was gonna say me. You're not the only Pegasus in the family, you know.
Thunderlane: Oh, sorry, little brother. You're right. You might be the most elite flyer in Equestria some day. But for now, you should try other things, too! Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to be at camp?
Rumble: [scoffs] That camp is for losers who can't do anything.
Thunderlane: Great, so there's no pressure. You can try everything and not be worried about looking bad.
Rumble: I'm not worried about that. I just don't want to get a cutie mark in any of their ridiculous activities.
Thunderlane: Well, you're still going back tomorrow. You can't be a blank flank forever!
Rumble: Huh...
[bell rings]
Sweetie Belle: All right, cutie mark campers, that's it for jam-making!
Pipsqueak: But this is fun, and I didn't get my cutie mark yet. What if I'm not good at anything else?
Scootaloo: You don't get a cutie mark just because you're good at something or even because you like it. There's more to it than that.
[splat]
Kettle Corn: I'm real good at painting circles, but I got my cutie mark in haikus.
Skeedaddle: Which is what I like! But... I'm still a blank flank like you.
Pipsqueak: So you can't get a cutie mark in something you like?
Apple Bloom: Now, we didn't say that.
Rumble: You don't have to!
Scootaloo: Rumble, you came back!
Rumble: Say bye-bye to painting circles. You'll be too busy haiku-ing from now on!
Kettle Corn: But... I like circles.
Apple Bloom: Come on, Rumble. That's not how cutie marks work.
Pipsqueak: So that's how cutie marks work?
Apple Bloom: Am I speakin' Olde Ponish?! I just said it wasn't!
[Rumble]
"Cutie marks are great," they say
Pfft, yeah, right!
They make you special in your way
But that special mark that's just for you
Will erase the stuff you liiiiiiike... to do
Kettle Corn: So, no more painting?
Skeedaddle: No more haiku?
Sweetie Belle: Rumble, stop! That's just not true!
[Rumble]
So you're good at charming snakes
Too bad!
Or you bake delicious cakes
Oh, well!
Maybe there are lots of things
That you like to do
Well, your options get pretty stark
Once you got that cutie mark
Blank flanks are better
Nopony to tell you who you have to be
Blank flanks are better
Keep your spirit soarin' free
So listen up 'cause I ain't lyin'
Don't need no mark, so why keep tryin'?
If you like just bein' you
Then keepin' that blank flank blank
Is the thiiiiiiiing to do
Scootaloo: Cutie marks don't limit you.
Apple Bloom: They only show you what you can do.
Pipsqueak: But... what if you can't do a thing? These cutie marks are frustrating!
[Foals]
Blank flanks
Blank flanks
Blank flanks
Blank flanks
[Rumble]
You say there's nothin' you can do?
Foals: Yeah, exactly!
[Rumble]
A blank flank is the way for you
It's no work to just be who you are
No hunt to be some cutie star
You're perfect just being you
Don't bother with what you cannot do
[Rumble and Foals]
Blank flanks!
[Rumble]
...are better
Nopony to tell you who you have to be
[Rumble and Foals]
Blank flanks!
[Rumble]
...are better
Keep your spirit soarin' free
So listen up 'cause I ain't lyin'
[Rumble and Foals]
Don't need no mark...
[Rumble]
...so why keep tryin'?
If you like just bein' you
Then keepin' that blank flank blank
Is the thiiiiiiiiiing to do!
Rumble: That's it, blank flanks! Be proud of who you are! You don't need some phony pony telling you you're just one thing! Blank flanks forever!
[Foals]
Blank flanks forever!
Blank flanks forever and ever!
Blank flanks forever!
Blank flanks forever and ever!
Blank flanks forever!
Blank flanks forever and ever!
[Rumble and Foals]
Blank flanks!
Pipsqueak: Whoopee!
Apple Bloom: Now wait just an apple-pickin' minute, Rumble. Where do you think you're leadin' our campers?
Rumble: They're not your campers anymore! I'm starting a new camp!
[digging noise]
Rumble: Everypony on this side of the line is in Camp Blank Flanks Forever!
[foals cheering]
Scootaloo: Whoa-whoa! You can't be a blank flank forever!
[foals gasping]
Rumble: That's just the kind of talk I'd expect to hear from Camp Cutie Mark! Which is why blank flanks need a camp where we can enjoy being blank flanks and appreciate our blank flankiness without being pressured to get a cutie mark!
[foals cheering]
Scootaloo: Now hold on, everypony.
Rumble: Blank flanks forever!
Foals: Blank flanks forever! Blank flanks forever! Blank flanks forever! Blank flanks forever! [cheering]
Sweetie Belle: What just happened?
Scootaloo: Has everypony gone mad?!
Apple Bloom: In a word: yes.
Sweetie Belle: I just can't see what we did wrong. I thought everypony was having fun.
Apple Bloom: They were until that Rumble came and made a mess of things. What are they doing now?
Scootaloo: It looks like whatever they want.
Sweetie Belle: Honestly, it's not all that different from what they were doing here.
Apple Bloom: Then what was the point?
Scootaloo: Point is that Rumble is a madpony who must be stopped!
Sweetie Belle: Now calm down, Crusaders. We just need to talk to him again. The key is to remain calm.
Sweetie Belle: [yelling] Cutie marks... make you... special!
Rumble: By putting you in a special little box!
Sweetie Belle: [yelling] Special!
Rumble: Box!
Apple Bloom: Come on, Sweetie Belle. I think you've "remained calm" long enough.
[foals chattering]
Sweetie Belle: Kettle Corn, you covered your cutie mark?!
Kettle Corn:
I'm blank flank again,
Keeping my options open.
I'm more than haikus.
Sweetie Belle: You just haiku'd right then!
Rumble: Don't let them get in your head! You're an open-ended question! Blank flanks forever!
Foals: Blank flanks forever!
[click]
Pipsqueak: Blank flanks forever! Blank flanks forever!
[horseshoes clinking]
Pipsqueak: Whoa! You're cracking great!
Skeedaddle: Thanks! [gasps] Oh, no! What if I get a cutie mark in it?!
Rumble: Then you'll be stuck doing it forever! Blank flanks, no more potential cutie mark activities!
[clink]
[thunk]
[thunk]
[tik]
[beat]
[painting noises]
Sweetie Belle: Well, Cutie Mark Day Camp is a bust.
Apple Bloom: No, it isn't! It's a swell idea! We just can't seem to talk any sense into that... that Rumble.
[rumble]
[whoosh]
Scootaloo: Maybe we can't, but I bet I know somepony who can.
[whoosh]
Thunderlane: Lemme get this straight. My little brother up-ended your entire camp? How in Equestria did he do that?
Sweetie Belle: Well, [inhales] [motor-mouth] it started when he couldn't toss a horseshoe or paddle a kayak or shoot an arrow or use a pencil, and we felt bad that he wasn't good at anything, but now he doesn't want a cutie mark at all because he's afraid he'll get stuck doing something he doesn't like forever, you know? [gasps]
Thunderlane: No, I don't. Rumble's good at all that stuff.
Apple Bloom: Well, that doesn't make a lick of sense. Unless... he was bein' bad at stuff on purpose!
Thunderlane: [sighs] I was afraid of this...
Scootaloo: Afraid of what?
Thunderlane: Ever since I became a Wonderbolt, Rumble's either watching me or trying to fly like me. He won't do anything else. That's why I thought your camp was such a good idea.
Scootaloo: I don't understand. If Rumble wants to be a Wonderbolt someday, what's wrong with that?
Thunderlane: Not a thing. But right now, he isn't even giving anything else a chance.
Apple Bloom: Sounds to me like Rumble isn't afraid of bein' put in a box at all.
Sweetie Belle: It doesn't?
Apple Bloom: Nope. I think Rumble's already picked out a box. He's afraid he'll get a cutie mark that'll keep him from it.
[whoosh]
[quick Wonderbolts motif]
[birds chirping]
Pipsqueak: I don't know how to say this, Rumble, but Blank Flank Forever Camp is kinda...
Skeedaddle: Boring?
Rumble: If we wanna stay blank flanks, we can't risk doing stuff.
Skeedaddle: What if I get a cutie mark in being bored?
Scootaloo: Attention, blank flanks of Cutie Mark Day Camp!
[thump]
[foals chattering]
Sweetie Belle: The Cutie Mark Crusaders are pleased to announce today's special guest – Thunderlane!
[whoosh]
Thunderlane: Hey, everypony! It's me!
[whooshing]
[foals ooh-ing and ahh-ing]
Apple Bloom: Anypony who's interested, gather 'round for a day of activities with a genuine Wonderbolt!
[thump]
Skeedaddle: Uh, sorry, Rumble. But cutie mark or not, I'm not missing out on this!
Foals: Whoa!
[foals straining]
[clink, spinning]
[zip]
Apple Bloom: All right, campers. It's time for our last activity of the day.
Sweetie Belle: A Wonderbolt obstacle course! Just like the one they'll fly through in their upcoming show!
Scootaloo: But on the ground, since not everypony has wings.
[foals cheering]
[bouncing noises]
Rumble: Thunderlane, aren't you gonna run the course?
Thunderlane: Nope! I know I'm a Wonderbolt and my cutie mark is all about moving fast, but I really like to cook!
Rumble: Since when?
Thunderlane: We take turns making the meals at Wonderbolts HQ. I didn't want to at first, but now I love it! I just wish I'd tried it sooner.
Rumble: You do?
Thunderlane: Of course! There's more to me than just flying, and I bet there's more to you, too.
Kettle Corn:
Obstacles are fun!
Running free through mud and dirt
Beats circle painting!
Apple Bloom: That haiku pretty well sums it up.
Scootaloo: Looks like Thunderlane was right about the obstacle course getting Rumble to come back over.
Sweetie Belle: Hey, Rumble. Aren't you gonna do our Wonderbolt course?
Rumble: I'm cooking today. Maybe I'll do the course tomorrow.
Apple Bloom: So you're comin' back tomorrow?
Scootaloo: You're not worried about getting your cutie mark?
Rumble: Nah. I already know I'm a good flyer. It kinda runs in the family. I guess it's time to see what other stuff I can do.
Thunderlane: Hm-hmm.
[credits]

Once Upon a Zeppelin

[music]
[quill breaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh!
[rumbling]
Spike: [belches, sighs] Aw, thank goodness. I thought I had too many deep-fried gems.
Twilight Sparkle: [mutters] It's from my parents! Spike, they won a zeppelin cruise and get to take the whole family! [sighs] I wish I had time to go with them, but there's just too many princess duties I have to take care of.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Even Princess Celestia takes a break sometimes, and she raises the sun.
[beat]
Spike: [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Spike: You need a vacation! I can keep track of the friendship log, boost community morale, and answer fan mail for a few days.
Twilight Sparkle: But, Spike, you're as much a part of my family as anypony. I can't just leave you here to do all that work.
Spike: [loudly] What?! I can't hear you! You're on vacation!
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I could use a little time off from being a princess. You're the best, Spike!
Spike: I know.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna go pack everything neatly into one suitcase!
Spike: Wait for it...
Twilight Sparkle: [shouting] Cruises have activities, right?! I should probably make a schedule?!
Spike: There it is.
[theme song]
[awed muttering]
Twilight Velvet: Oh, gee. I am really looking forward to a relaxing vacation.
Night Light: Watch out. She won't admit it, but when your mother says "relaxing vacation", she means "doing something crazy". Last time, she ended up bungee-jumping over Luna Bay!
Twilight Velvet: What was that, hon?
Night Light: Oh, I was, uh, just telling Twilight about my new, uh, bingo strategy book! It's a, heh, real page-turner!
Shining Armor: Oh, I can't wait to get on this zeppelin and fly like a Pegasus!
Twilight Sparkle: Really? I remember you getting airsick on Admiral Fairweather's Wild Ride at Pony Island.
Shining Armor: Oh, please! I grew out of airsickness a long time ago.
[feedback]
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] I hope you ponies feel welcomed aboard, because you are!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that was an... assertive welcome.
[whirring]
Sparkle family: [awed reactions]
Night Light: Guess this is what it's like to be big-time prize winners. [laughs] I just wish I could remember what contest we won.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. You don't know where this prize came from?
Twilight Velvet: When somepony offers you a free vacation, you just sign the paperwork and don't ask questions!
Night Light: Especially when it means we all get to fly off together. What should we do first?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I did categorize the ship's activities and make a schedule organized by each of our interests. Dad, you're easy. Bingo competition right here.
Night Light: Oh, I just love how the numbers and letters are organized in their little boxes. It's so satisfying.
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor, they've got a tiny boat race in a tiny pool here.
Shining Armor: Aw, sis. Only you would remember I love tiny things.
Flurry Heart: [babbles]
Twilight Sparkle: And Cadance, there's a Peewee Princess Playtime here that Flurry's gonna love!
Flurry Heart: [babbles]
Princess Cadance: Oh, wonderful!
Twilight Velvet: Hmm. This barrel jumping at Neighagra Falls sounds interesting.
Twilight Sparkle: Eh. I just want to see you all have a good time. And this works out perfectly, because we have room for the one thing I wanna do! Our ship passes the Frozen North at sunset, which is the only time you can see the astrological phenomenon known as the Northern Stars. It's like the stars are shooting out of the setting sun!
Rest of the Sparkle family: [interested reactions]
Princess Cadance: Well, we definitely don't want to miss that.
Twilight Sparkle: Then it's settled. Hmm. But we don't have anything to do right now. Any suggestions?
[feedback]
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] Attention, cruise ponies! Don't let this zeppelin be a bore! Leave your room and see the tour!
Princess Cadance: A tour could be fun.
Sparkle family: [agreeing]
Shining Armor: I'm flying! I'm— [groans, gags]
Princess Cadance: I'm afraid Flurry may be airsick. Since I know that isn't a problem for you, would you mind taking her below?
Shining Armor: [grunts]
[feedback]
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] Far to our right, you can just make out the white tufts of Cloudsdale, where Princess Twilight Sparkle once toured the weather factory.
[interested reactions]
Twilight Sparkle: How'd he know that? And why announce it on a cruise?
[indistinct conversations]
Princess Cadance: Why don't we move to the other side of the deck?
[indistinct conversations continue]
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] We are now high enough to see all of Canterlot, even the royal tree where Princess Twilight and her brother Shining Armor were born!
Twilight Sparkle: What? That's not right.
[clamoring]
Twilight Velvet: [gasps] Oooh!
Night Light: Let's get down for that!
Twilight Velvet and Night Light: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, you guys know that's not where we were born. What are you so excited about?
Night Light: Well, it is a really nice tree, sweetheart.
"Raspberry Sorbet": We just wanted to say how excited we are to be here!
Twilight Sparkle: Um... yeah. Us, too.
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] On our route north, we will pass the spires of the Crystal Empire, where Princess Cadance rescued her Alicorn baby Spike from a monster made of fire!
Princess Cadance: Well, that doesn't even make sense.
Night Light: Well, "Royal Grandparents" sounds a bit fancy, but of course you can take our picture.
[camera shutters clicking]
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Cruise Ponies: [excited sounds]
Princess Cadance: Uh... Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, that's it! Does anypony know where the cruise announcer is?
Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, sir.
Iron Will: You can call Iron Will "Iron Will"!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] What are you doing here? And why do you keep announcing random things about me and my family?
Iron Will: The assertiveness seminar market dried up, so Iron Will started a new career organizing themed vacation packages!
Twilight Sparkle: And the theme of this vacation is...
Iron Will: [over loudspeaker] Everypony, stomp your hooves if you are here for the premiere Cruise of the Princesses Experience!
[clamoring, hooves stomping]
[ponies clamoring]
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Iron Will, I'm not sure it was entirely honest of you to offer this cruise to my family without telling us that ponies bought tickets just to see Cadance and me!
Iron Will: Iron Will outlined all the details of the cruise in the Prize Acceptance and Consent Form that you signed.
Twilight Velvet: Well, when somepony offers you a free vacation, who reads the fine print?
Iron Will: Iron Will prides himself on providing a quality vacation experience. But if Twilight Sparkle and her family don't want it, Iron Will can cancel the cruise and break the hearts of every princess-adoring pony on board.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
"Sunny Side": I love you, Princess Twilight!
Princess Cadance: As much as I want a family vacation, I don't think I could entertain all these cruise ponies. My hooves are pretty full taking care of Flurry Heart.
Twilight Velvet: I guess we were just so excited by the idea of a family cruise.
Night Light: [sighs heavily] All right. I guess we better turn this ship around.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! Iron Will, what if I offered you a deal? If I agree to do whatever princess activities you want, will you promise that my family gets to do the activities they want?
Shining Armor: Sis, you don't have to do that. We want you to enjoy yourself, too.
Flurry Heart: [babbles]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want the vacation to end now or let down all these ponies who were looking forward to seeing us. So what do you say, Iron Will? Do we have a deal?
Iron Will: Princess Twilight has a deal!
Twilight Sparkle: Great! So it looks like we have some time before Dad plays Bingo.
Iron Will: Actually, we have just enough to pick the winner of our grand-prize raffle.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Well... [chuckles] who doesn't like prizes?
Iron Will: All right, cruise ponies! When the zeppelin flies, it's time for a prize!
[ponies cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you all for being so gracious and respectful to me and my family. And now, without further ado, the winner is...
[papers rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Tracker!
[hooves clopping]
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Star Tracker! Enjoy your prize! Okay, Dad! Bingo time!
[bump!]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Oh. I'm sorry. I don't have the prize.
Iron Will: Congratulations to Star Tracker, who wins the grand prize – spending the day with Twilight as an honorary member of her family!
[fireworks]
[ponies cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: That's the prize?!
Star Tracker: Uh-huh. [chuckles nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, well... I guess you should come with us, honorary family member.
Night Light: Sure! [laughs] There's always room at the bingo table!
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] Ahem! Is everypony ready?
Night Light: Sure are, sweetie! Give that cage a whirl!
Twilight Sparkle: Dad? [amplified] What did you say?
Star Tracker: He... He said to, uh, uh, give it a-a whirl. Heh.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Um, thanks.
[sloooop]
[rattling]
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] I-19!
Night Light: Hey, hey! Now we're talkin'! This Princess Bingo is great!
Twilight Sparkle: Did you get that one, Dad? [amplified] Can anypony tell me how my dad is doing?
Star Tracker: He, uh, he said the Princess Bingo is, uh, great. Heh.
Ponies: [chanting] Princess Bingo! Princess Bingo! Princess Bingo! [continues underneath]
Star Tracker: Twilight is my favorite time of day. [laughs] And it's also your name. [laughs] So I just thought that was cool.
Twilight Sparkle: [forced laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Phew! Just made it!
[squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: And I'm ready to give you the tiny boat race of your life!
Shining Armor: [whinnies, sick noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure you're not airsick, big brother?
Shining Armor: [queasily] No way. How can I be airsick? I'm in the water, so it totally cancels out! [gurgles]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think that's how it works. But I'm ready if you are.
Iron Will: Technically, Princess Twilight Sparkle should officiate the princess paddle boat race.
Twilight Velvet: Well, I suppose I could could race your brother.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Well, as long as Shining Armor gets to race, I'm happy.
[magic zap]
[cameras clicking]
[thump]
Star Tracker: [nervous noises] S-Sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales]
Star Tracker: [nervous] I'm gonna write about this race tonight in my journal! [nervous noises] It's just so exciting!
Twilight Sparkle: On your mark, get set—
Star Tracker: Go! [laughs]
Twilight Velvet: [cheers]
[splashing]
Twilight Velvet: Oh, my word, that was exciting! Wasn't it, son? [laughing]
Shining Armor: [nauseous] Just so everypony knows, I'm getting out of this boat because of how not sick I feel.
[splash]
Twilight Velvet: Aww, that's all right, dear. We'll take you back to the room.
[squeak]
Iron Will: [through microphone] That was just the first heat! Of ten!
[abs popping]
Iron Will: Now, who's ready to see a princess face when they win their race?!
[cruise ponies cheering]
[babies gurgling]
Flurry Heart: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Cadance, I'm so glad you got in the Peewee Princess Playtime!
Princess Cadance: Flurry is having a wonderful time.
Twilight Sparkle: That's great. I'm just on my way to take some old-time Appleloosan photos!
Star Tracker: Themed photoshoots are the best. [nervous noise]
Twilight Sparkle: And then do a quick question-and-answer session on becoming an Alicorn before Mom's barrel ride at Neighagra Falls! I really hope I don't miss that.
Princess Cadance: Twilight, are you sure you don't mind doing all of these princess activities?
Twilight Sparkle: Mind? What? Absolutely not. I mean, you guys are having fun, right? [sighs] Besides, I have to make sure these cruise ponies are happy if I want to be a good princess.
Princess Cadance: You're already a good princess, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Honestly, as long as I get to see the Northern Stars tonight with everypony, I'll be happy. But right now, I gotta go take some pictures. See you later!
"Sun Cloche": Why don't you play and make a princess friend?
[babies gurgling]
Princess Cadance: Uh... I am so sorry, everypony, but it looks like Flurry needs her nap.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, why did that last question have to be a two-parter? I just hope I have time for one barrel ride with Mom!
[thunk]
[crunch]
Twilight Velvet: [gasps] Neighagra Falls was amazing! The endless open air, the water in my mane! Oh! The small confines of the barrel!
Night Light: [chuckles] Another relaxing vacation in the books, hon. [kiss]
[splash]
Twilight Velvet: Oh, honey, I know you're disappointed, but we waited as long as we could. Maybe you should take a break from these princess things.
Twilight Sparkle: Disappointed? No! I've just been answering some detailed questions about Alicorns! You know how much I love details!
Twilight Velvet: I just don't want you to forget. It's your vacation, too.
Twilight Sparkle: How can I when it's a totally successful vacation?
Night Light: All right. Well, uh, we can't wait to see those Northern Stars!
Iron Will: Iron Will lived up to his side of the bargain, and Princess Twilight only has one more thing to do for the day.
Iron Will: [through microphone] It's your last chance. Come get in line if you want the princess to sign!
Cruise ponies: [excited chattering]
[time passing music]
Cruise ponies: [excited squealing]
Fan: [indistinct] I'm never letting this go!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] How long have you been waiting?
Star Tracker: [nervous noises]
[distant whooshing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. What time is it?! [panicked noises, gasps]
Night Light: [in middle distance] Wow. [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [crying]
Princess Cadance and Flurry Heart: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [tearing up] I missed them? I missed the Northern Stars? [crying]
Princess Cadance: You were right, Twilight. They were breathtaking.
Flurry Heart: [gurgles]
Night Light: Aw, we wish you'd been here to see it, sweet-pea, but we're sure you're making a whole bunch of cruise ponies happy.
Star Tracker: [laughs] I'm so happy I could cry!
Twilight Sparkle: [suddenly indignant] Oh, yeah. The cruise ponies are happy. My family is happy. Even Iron Will is happy.
[crunch]
Twilight Sparkle: You know who isn't happy? Me!
[smack]
[crunch]
Star Tracker: [yelp of pain] Augh, my hoof!
Twilight Sparkle: [insincerely] I'm sorry. But maybe that wouldn't have happened if you weren't practically standing on my tail! Not even my real family stands so close! Rrgh!
[thump]
Princess Cadance: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I only made that deal with Iron Will so my family and the cruise ponies could have the vacation they wanted.
Princess Cadance: What about what you wanted?
Twilight Sparkle: I just want everypony to be happy.
Princess Cadance: Well, sometimes ponies want more from a princess than you can give, and it can be hard to know where to draw the line.
Twilight Sparkle: You seem to know pretty well.
Princess Cadance: Once I had Flurry Heart, the line was easier for me to see. You will always have obligations as a princess, but you also have an obligation to yourself.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I think I need to set some boundaries. But first, I owe somepony an apology.
Twilight Velvet: Aww, how's that, dearie?
Star Tracker: Better. Thanks.
[door opens]
Star Tracker: [panicking] Uh, I think I should go!
Twilight Sparkle: No, Star Tracker. You should stay. I have something to tell you. All of you. I'm glad you all got to do the things you wanted, but I should have stood up for myself so that I could do what I wanted, too. [to Star Tracker] It wasn't fair of me to lash out at you. If I felt like you were standing too close, I should have said something. I'm sorry. [to everypony] What do you say we do something off the schedule?
Everypony else: [gasps]
Star Tracker: Who are you?
Twilight Sparkle: Yup! We're gonna do something I want us to do, as a family. Honorary members, too.
Shining Armor: [gags]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Flurry Heart: [giggles]
Everypony: [laughs]
Night Light: Now that's cold! This is more like it!
Star Tracker: You and your family have been really kind to include me, but you deserve your own vacation together. [laughs nervously] And I'm really glad we met, too!
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh!
[splat]
[boing]
Iron Will: [through microphone] Attention, cruise ponies! If it's your dream, come to the deck for ice cream!
Cruise ponies: [excited chatter]
Star Tracker: Oh, no! Leave the princess alone!
Iron Will: What did you say to Iron Will?
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, everypony. [through microphone] [clears throat] First, I want to thank all of you for coming. It means a lot that you'd spend your hard-earned bits just to be with us. But I honestly came on this cruise to take some time off from being a princess. I'm just a pony, too, after all. And even though I want everypony here to be happy, I'd really like to spend the rest of the cruise relaxing with my family.
"Sunny Side": Of course, Princess Twilight.
"Sun Cloche": But why was this trip advertised as a Cruise of the Princesses if you just wanted to get away?
Iron Will: [whistling] Iron Will's Cruise of the Princesses makes no guarantees as to the participation of actual princesses.
[pages rustling]
Cruise pony: What?!
Cruise ponies: [angry chatter]
Iron Will: But Iron Will learned his lesson before. Satisfaction not guaranteed. No refuuuuuuunds!
[ponies gasping]
[guitar riff]
Shining Armor: Wow. He may be pushy and manipulative, but nopony can say that minotaur isn't prepared.
Twilight Sparkle: There's still plenty of activities. We pass Fillydelphia on the way back. I could give Flurry Heart a quick history tour.
Princess Cadance: That's very thoughtful. But right now, the family and I have something scheduled for you.
Night Light: Behold! The Northern Stars!
Flurry Heart: [gurgling]
Twilight Sparkle: You did all this for me? This is amazing! Thank you. And Shining Armor, I can't believe you're up there even though you're airsick!
Shining Armor: I am not air— [gurgles] [nauseous] Oh, okay. Maybe I'm not feeling great!
Flurry Heart: [laughing]
Twilight Velvet: Oh, dear!
Night Light: Whatever you say.
Princess Cadance: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Now this is the only activity I need.
[credits]

Secrets and Pies

Pinkie Pie: Okay. All we need is a dot of salt, a dab of sugar, and a spritz of ginger.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Are those real measurements? How do you keep track without a recipe?
Pinkie Pie: Pie baking is more art than science. And this will be my masterpiece! It's to celebrate Rainbow Dash's seventy-third Wonderbolt training session!
Twilight Sparkle: Seventy-third? That's specific.
Pinkie Pie: I know! The pie is blueberry because Wonderbolt outfits are blue. The crust is rainbow, for obvious reasons. But the most special part is the seventy-three super secret sweets and spices that represent each training session! [giggles] Could you please pass the... [quickly] brown sugar, pink sugar, sweetroot, apple jelly, berry mash, and a towel?
[splattering]
Twilight Sparkle: You sure are going to a lot of trouble for Rainbow Dash's pie.
Pinkie Pie: Phew! That's because I know how much she loves them! My pies are her favorite! It's worth all the trouble to see her happy. Now I'm going to need some cocoa powder, cocoa flakes— Ooh! Cocoa bar! [chomp] [mouthful] Want some?
Twilight Sparkle: Isn't that for the pie?
Pinkie Pie: [gulps, laughing] Oh, Twilight! That's hilarious! You don't mix chocolate into a blueberry pie! This is my mid morning, pie-making chocolate fuel that keeps this pie baking train chugging down the tracks! [chomp, babbles, gulp] Break time's over! Now let's finish this pie! Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo-choo!
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles]
[theme song]
[Wonderbolts theme]
Spitfire: Good training, everypony. Nice work, Crash. You really added that sparkle to that pressure diamond-drop.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Surprise! Happy seventy-third Wonderbolt training session! [blows party horn]
Rainbow Dash: My seventy-third training session? That's specific.
Pinkie Pie: I know! I'm just so proud and happy for you, and I've been counting all your training sessions, and I was going to wait until your hundredth, but I got too excited, and I know how much you love pie, so happy seventy-third training session!
Rainbow Dash: Whaaa?! You didn't have to do this.
Pinkie Pie: I know I didn't have to, but I reeeally wanted to! [squealing] Have a bite.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! What's that?! Huh. Guess it was nothing. But wow, heh. This pie is the best I've ever had! Mmm! Is that cinnamon?
Pinkie Pie: I knew you'd love it! Have more. I made the whole thing for you.
Rainbow Dash: Really? Oh, that's so great! But I need to go change. A-And then I have to take Tank to the vet. Heh. His sensitive tortoise tummy's been acting up again. Do you mind if I take this pie with me?
Pinkie Pie: Of course not! I gotta get back to my shift at Sugarcube Corner anyway. Congratulations again!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Thanks.
[trash cart squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] I knew she'd love it. [gasps deeply] Is that...? Is that...?!
[zoom]
Pinkie Pie: Stop!
[clattering]
Pinkie Pie: You didn't see a blueberry rainbow-crust seventy-three-ingredient pie with a slice eaten out of it in here, did you?
Janitor Pony: Uh... n-no?
Pinkie Pie: Right. Of course you didn't. That would be ridiculous. Because I made it for Rainbow Dash, and she loves my pies. She would never throw them away like trash in the trash with other trash, right? Right?!
Janitor Pony: Um... riiight?
[Batman-style scene wipe]
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... That pie couldn't have been the one I made. I must be seeing things. I did have a lot of chocolate this morning. [chomp, gulps] But what if I wasn't seeing things? What if that was my pie? [scoffs] That would be bananas! [chuckles, laughing crazily] [gasps] Unless Rainbow Dash's been replaced by an imposter who throws delicious pies away!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Or... has she been brainwashed by a pie-hating evil queen?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: You make a good point. Rainbow Dash is too stubborn to be brainwashed. Plus she hates washing. Hmm. There's something else going on here. Let's look up a few of the more recent pies I've made for her. The boysenberry pie I made for her birthday... and her three half-birthday lemon meringues... and the "It's Not Your Birthday But Here's a Pie Anyway Day" custard pie! She ate all of these... Right?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Another pie!? Thank you so much! Whoa! What's that?!
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: [chewing noises] Huh. Guess it was nothing. Heh-heh.
Rainbow Dash: Awesome! Three lemon meringues? Uh... Hey, what's that over there?
[thunk, thunk, thunk]
Rainbow Dash: [chewing noises] Oh, never mind. Heh. Great pies!
Pinkie Pie: Happy "It's Not Your Birthday But Here's a Pie Anyway" Day!
Rainbow Dash: Thank you! No way! Check that out!
[thunk]
[clang]
Shoeshine: Oh! It's not even my birthday!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, sorry. Guess it was nothing. [slurp] Mmm! But that custard was everything!
Pinkie Pie: Have I ever really seen Rainbow Dash eat one of my pies? And do I always look when somepony points behind me? What's there?! Heh. Good one. But I need answers.
Pinkie Pie: I've sent Rainbow Dash a pie every month she's been a Wonderbolt, and you're telling me you've never seen her eat one?
Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot: Uhhh...
Spitfire: Uh, affirmative. Or, uh, negative. Um... I-I-I mean, she wasn't seen eating one.
Pinkie Pie: Hmm... Interesting. Very interesting.
Spitfire: Are we under investigation?
Pinkie Pie: As chief detective on the pie case, I've labeled you all ponies-of-interest. So it's best you tell me everything you know.
Spitfire: Well, we have been getting mysterious monthly pie donations.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Would you be able to pick these pies out of a line up?
[ceiling fan creaking]
Pinkie Pie: I hear Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise Tank has been having tummy troubles. When did it start?
Dr. Fauna: About a week ago. Poor Tank had all the telltale signs of sugar overload – jittery shell, sleeplessness, reptilian indigestion.
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... And this all happened the day after I made Rainbow Dash a "Thanks For Lending Me Your Jacket" peach pie. It seems the pieces of the puzzle are plopping into place, but the picture isn't pretty. [gasps] Note to self – P. Alliteration Pie. Is that everything, Doctor?
Dr. Fauna: Well, there's also this.
Pinkie Pie: Interesting. Did you have the lab analyze the flavor of that pie?
Dr. Fauna: No. But you know, Miss Cheerilee was in here not long ago. The class hamster was having similar symptoms. [gasps] Perhaps it's a pie pandemic!
Pinkie Pie: Perhaps. And I just might know Pony Patient Zero!
[pipe bubbling]
Cheerilee: Dr. Fauna's right. I do always have to remind the foals and fillies not to share the pies with the class hamster. Animals just can't digest pony food.
Pinkie Pie: Indeed. But where do these pies come from?
Cheerilee: Well, they're from Rainbow Dash. She drops off her "Day After Rainbow Dash's Half-Birthday" pie every year.
Pinkie Pie: Did you say the day after her half-birthday?! Very, very interesting. Because I give her a pie on her half-birthday every year! And I have a feeling it's the same pie.
Cheerilee: Well, wherever it comes from, the students just love it.
Pinkie Pie: I'm so glad. At least I can be sure somepony is.
Pinkie Pie: She didn't eat the blueberry. She didn't eat the banana. She didn't eat the cream, and she didn't eat the chocolate. She didn't eat any of 'em! Why?! And don't tell me this all just started recently! It's been going on for years! Cheerilee said so herself. If there's one thing I know, you can't escape the truth!
[ding!]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[ding!]
[whoosh!]
[lightning strikes]
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash doesn't like pie, and she's been lying to me about it the whole time! [screams]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled scream]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie?! Pinkie Pie!
[clicking]
[ka-chunk!]
Applejack: Whooooaaaa! [grunting] Oh. Party-planning cave. Right. You okay? Or are you just screamin' for fun?
Pinkie Pie: Screaming is fun. But I'm not okay! I've been making Rainbow Dash pies for years, but she doesn't even like them. She's been lying to me!
Applejack: But everypony loves your pies. They're the greatest thing since sliced apples.
Pinkie Pie: Thank you!
Applejack: And I could swear I've seen her eat one of your pies before.
Pinkie Pie: Have you reeeaaally?
Applejack: Um, I... thought I had. That's why I said it?
Pinkie Pie: Are you sure?
Applejack: Maybe I haven't...?
Pinkie Pie: Exactly! Because it's all been a sham! Rainbow Dash has been laughing at my pies behind my back and scheming of a way to get rid of them for years!
[clouds rumbling]
[thunder]
Rainbow Dash: Bring forth the worst-tasting food in all of Equestria!
[carts rolling]
Rainbow Dash: And now I will destroy Pinkie Pie's horrid abominations, freeing the land of these disgusting pies forever!
Pinkie Pie: Nooooooo!
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: Good riddance, strawberry cream and peaches 'o plenty! Begone, apple crumble and lemon surprise!
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: Gone! Gone! Gone! [laughing evilly]
[thunder]
Applejack: I really don't think that's what's happening.
Pinkie Pie: I don't think so either. I know so.
Applejack: Well, I've got just the thing to get your mind off all this madness. We've had a great apple harvest, so I was hopin' you could whip up a few of your delicious pies.
Pinkie Pie: Yes. I will make pies. Lots of pies. I'm going to make Rainbow Dash so many pies, it'll force her to admit the truth. Or I'll catch her in the act of getting rid of them. Operation: "Pie of Lies" is a go. Thanks, Applejack. I knew I could count on you to come up with a plan.
Applejack: I don't think that's what I did. Also, uh... how do you get out of here?
Rainbow Dash: [snoring]
Pinkie Pie: Surprise!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] W-W-What's happening?!
Pinkie Pie: Happy unofficial "Wake Your Friends Up" Day!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. I've never heard of "Wake Your Friends Up" Day.
Pinkie Pie: Well, it's unofficial. But I made you your favorite pie in celebration! Ta-da! Gifts are the second most important part of "Wake Your Friends Up" Day.
Rainbow Dash: What's the first most important part?
Pinkie Pie: Accepting the gifts and enjoying them immediately.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Well, I'm sorry I forgot about "Wake Your Friends Up" Day. Let me make it up to you. Here!
Pinkie Pie: [sneezes]
[thudding]
Tank: [chomp]
Pinkie Pie: [sneezes] The pie! Where'd it go?!
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean where did it go? Heh-heh. Mmm-mmm.
Pinkie Pie: How—?! Where—?! When—?! [distressed sounds]
Pinkie Pie: Congratulations on your seventy-fourth Wonderbolt training session! Here's a pie. Now eat it!
Rainbow Dash: Okay, this is getting a little out of hoof. I haven't even trained yet.
Pinkie Pie: Well, I wanted to pre-celebrate because I already know how great you're gonna do. Eat the pie!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, look out!
Pinkie Pie: I'm not gonna fall for— [screams] Whoa! [grunting]
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie! Are you okay?!
Pinkie Pie: [grunting] Get me down!
EMT Pony: Sorry, ma'am, but we have to make sure you didn't sustain any internal injuries.
Pinkie Pie: But the pie! What happened to the pie?!
Rainbow Dash: Oh! The pie was delicious! You just get better!
Pinkie Pie: Noooooooo!
Pinkie Pie: [unconvincing] Ah! Somepony help me! Rainbow Dash, thank goodness you're here! I was trying to fix the top pie on my pie pyramid, but the whole thing became unstable. And there's only one way to save me! You have to eat the pies!
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, I got ya!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, right. Or you could save me that way.
Rainbow Dash: You gotta be more careful, okay?
Pinkie Pie: [growls] Rrgh!
[thud]
[pies splat]
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash! I wanted to thank you for saving me from the pie pyramid, so have a pie! Have three! Have fifteen! I know how much you love them! Now eat up!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Thanks!
[fillies laughing]
Rainbow Dash: I can't wait to eat [loudly] all these pies!
[fillies clamoring]
Pinkie Pie: What!? Where did they—?! How did you—?!
Rainbow Dash: Delicious! You did it again, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [growls]
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, there you are! I made a pie for everypony, and you're the only one who hasn't eaten hers yet. So here. Your pie. For you to eat. Now.
Rainbow Dash: Are you okay? You seem to be staring more than usual.
Pinkie Pie: I just really like to watch others enjoy my pies. [unhinged giggling]
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: You sure you don't have to blink?
Pinkie Pie: Me? Nope. I'm not much of a blinker. [licking] Don't mind me. Go ahead and take a bite.
Rainbow Dash: Well... Do I want to take a big bite or a small bite...? I just don't know... Or maybe medium? No, no, no. Definitely not medium.
Pinkie Pie: [panting] [strained] Just try some.
Rainbow Dash: Ahhhh... Do you have any milk?
Pinkie Pie: [grinding teeth]
[deep bell ring]
Cherry Berry: [chomps slowly]
[bird flaps slowly]
[whipping]
Rainbow Dash: [slurps]
[bell rings]
Rainbow Dash: Ah, never mind. Your pies are just too good to resist.
Pinkie Pie: What?! No! No! That's it! I can't take it!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, everything okay, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: No! Everything is not okay! You hate my pies!
Rainbow Dash: What are you talking about?
Pinkie Pie: You know exactly what I'm talking about! I saw what you did! Well, I didn't see what you did. But I know that you've been fake-eating my pies! You threw away the pie I made for your seventy-third Wonderbolt training session, and I know you secretly somehow got rid of all the other pies I gave you! Admit it!
Rainbow Dash: That's crazy! What do you think I did? Somehow make them all disappear into thin air?
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: [nervous chuckle] Okay. So maybe I made one of them disappear into thin air.
Pinkie Pie: How could you?!
Rainbow Dash: What?! I, uh... I-I just wanted to share these amazing pies with the folks of Cloudsdale! So I, uh... I was trying to send them up via... balloon mail.
Pinkie Pie: But you just said they were delicious.
Rainbow Dash: Well, obviously that's because... I have amnesia!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: I've been brainwashed!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: I-It's Opposite Day?
Pinkie Pie: Your memory is working fine, you hate washing, and I know today's not Opposite Day because I baked you a pie for it every year. A pie that you'd probably just throw away. Or give to charity. Or destroy with your laser eyes while laughing at me!
Rainbow Dash: Laser eyes?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Oh! So you admit it!
Rainbow Dash: What? No! I can explain!
Pinkie Pie: I don't want to hear it!
[pie tin clangs]
Rainbow Dash: She won't listen to me. She won't let me apologize. [sighs] I feel terrible.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you have been lying to her. To all of us, actually.
Applejack: Yeah. Is there anything else you're lyin' about that we should know?
Rainbow Dash: No! Well, not that I can think of off the top of my head. Is it my fault that I don't like pies? And not just Pinkie's pies. All pies! I know how much she loves making pies, and if I told her I didn't like them, it would have crushed her.
Applejack: Uh, you kinda crushed her anyway.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, but I...! [stutters, sighs] You're right. I guess I should've just eaten the pies in the first place. [gasps] Wait! That's it! I know how I can make it up to her!
Pinkie Pie: Pee-yew! Gummy, is that you?
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Huh. What is that? Oh. It's you.
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, wait! I know now that I should've been honest with you from the start, because lying to your friends is wrong. And because getting rid of all those pies was a giant hassle. I mean, do you have any idea how many pies you've made for me over the years?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, I know exactly how many. I have a very detailed pie-ling system.
Rainbow Dash: Of course you do. The point is I thought the hassle was worth it just to spare your feelings, but I was wrong. So to make up for it, I made this pie for you. Well, I guess I made it for me. To eat in front of you. Point is I'm eating this pie for friendship!
Pinkie Pie: Wait. That smelly circular monstrosity is a pie?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! I know I can't go back and eat all the pies you made for me in the past, so instead I'm going to eat this one giant one for you now. So here I go.
[splat]
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: Ahhhh...
Pinkie Pie: Wait! I can't watch you do this!
[clattering]
Pinkie Pie: I mean, is that crust or some kind of concrete?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, honestly, I have no idea.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I can't believe you're willing to eat this terrible pie for me. It's ridiculous, and this whole thing is overly complicated, and... [sighs] I think I finally understand why you lied.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! What's that?!
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: [chewing noises] Huh. Guess it was nothing. Heh-heh.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals] I'm so glad you enjoyed my pies!
[thunk, thunk, thunk]
Rainbow Dash: [chewing noises] Oh, never mind. Heh. Great pies!
Pinkie Pie: [high-pitched squeal]
Rainbow Dash: No way! Check that out!
[thunk]
[clang]
Shoeshine: Oh! It's not even my birthday!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, sorry. Guess it was nothing. [slurp] Mmm! But that custard was everything!
Pinkie Pie: Seeing you eat my pies makes me the happiest pony in all of Equestria!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. I know it does.
Pinkie Pie: You did a lot of ridiculous and overly complex things to get rid of my pies because it made you happy to see me happy. Just like I went to a lot of effort to make you the pies because it made me happy to see you happy.
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Pinkie Pie: And if you're willing to go through all of that, it really shows how much you're willing to do for your friends.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, shucks. It was nothing.
Pinkie Pie: Now get out of that thing and give me a hug!
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: Just remember. In the future, you can always be honest with me.
Applejack: Uh, I could've told her that.
Rainbow Dash: [straining] Heh. Cool. H-How about this? Your hugs are too tight.
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] No, they're not.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[credits]

Uncommon Bond

Starlight Glimmer: Oooh! Excuse me. When does the noon train from the Crystal Empire arrive?
"All Aboard": Uh... noon?
Starlight Glimmer: Heh. Right. Sorry. I'm just a little excited because my friend Sunburst is coming.
Starlight Glimmer: He's my oldest friend. I mean, we've known each other practically forever. We have tons in common.
Starlight Glimmer: We both love magic and games and jokes – everything, really. Now that I think about it, there isn't a pony in all of Equestria I have more in common with.
[muffled dance music]
[train whistle blows]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
[brakes hissing]
[ponies chattering]
[door closes]
[train chugging]
Sunburst: Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Sunburst! You made it!
Sunburst: Of course! I've been looking forward to this visit for a long time.
Starlight Glimmer: [grunts] Whoa. How long are you staying?
Sunburst: Uh, just a... little reading for the train.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckles] Same old Sunburst. [grunts] It's going to be so great spending time together. Just like old times. You and me doing the stuff we like – games, magic...
Sunburst: Antiquing.
Starlight Glimmer: What?
Sunburst: Antiquing. You know I like antiquing.
Starlight Glimmer: You do?
Sunburst: Um, of course! Historical knickknacks, ancient relics... Oh! You are so lucky! Ponyville is antique central!
Starlight Glimmer: It is?
Sunburst: How have we never talked about this? We are going antiquing, and you are gonna love it!
Starlight Glimmer: Okay. Let's drop your stuff off at the castle first.
Sunburst: Sure. Only... we may need to make a few of trips. [nervous chuckle]
[theme song]
Sunburst: This is so great! Who knew I'd be the one showing you the cool sights of Ponyville?
Starlight Glimmer: I'm a little surprised myself.
Sunburst: Wow! What a difference between the hoof-molded bricks and the extruded ones, right?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh-huh... Ha-ha...
Sunburst: Oooh! Check out all these chandeliers! Sometimes, the crystals have magical properties.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Oh, that's cool. How do you—?
Twilight Sparkle: Sunburst! I'm so glad you're here!
Sunburst: In the antique store?
Twilight Sparkle: In Ponyville! Starlight's really been looking forward to your visit. Though I'm glad you're in the antique store, too. I'm usually the only one.
Sunburst: That's crazy! Who doesn't like antiquing, right?
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous chuckle] Right.
Twilight Sparkle: Oooh, look! An ancient map of Equestria made by the Mighty Helm.
Sunburst: Without the help of unicorn magic or Pegasus flight, the Earth ponies of the Mighty Helm were able to map the entire coast of Equestria.
Starlight Glimmer: Coooool...
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunburst: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunburst: [laughing]
Sunburst: You don't have to pretend to like all this stuff.
Starlight Glimmer: What? No! I do like it. I mean, if you like it, I like it. Besides, we've almost looked at everything, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, wow! You have got to see this Saddle Arabian vanity!
Starlight Glimmer: This shop looked a lot smaller from the outside.
[montage music continues]
Sunburst: Did you see this Palominian letter opener?
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! That goes well with this ancient phoenix feather quill! We could write to each other!
Twilight Sparkle and Sunburst: Pen pals! [laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: [joins laughter, sighs] Um, I-I really like this old-timey barrel.
Sunburst: Actually, the stuff I bought is inside the barrel. But I can't wait to see what it is!
Starlight Glimmer: Wait. You don't know what you bought?
Sunburst: Mm-mmm. It's a blind buy. Sometimes shops get too busy to go through everything, so they load up a box or barrel and sell it without knowing what's inside.
Twilight Sparkle: Buying one is sort of like a treasure hunt.
Sunburst: Once I found a first edition History of Equestria in the original Olde Ponish.
Twilight Sparkle: Hliet foresettan pliht!
Twilight Sparkle and Sunburst: [laughing]
Sunburst: It's an Olde Ponish saying. "Reward prefers risk!" Uh, it loses something in the translation.
Starlight Glimmer: Mm. [chuckles, sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Why don't we look through this stuff later?
Sunburst: Yeah. What do you want to do, Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I don't know if you're gonna remember this, but...
Sunburst: [gasps] Is this...?!
Starlight Glimmer: Dragon Pit!
Twilight Sparkle: I remember that game. You two used to play it?
Sunburst: Pretty much any time we weren't working on magic. I can't believe you found a copy!
[die clatters]
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst would get so excited whenever his dragon got trapped, he knocked the whole board over.
Twilight Sparkle: That's adorable.
Sunburst: Uh, well, it's an exciting game. But I have a little more control over my horn now.
[die clatters]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh-oh! Somepony's dragon's gonna get trapped!
[rumble]
[boing]
[marble rolling]
Twilight Sparkle: Doesn't seem so exciting to m—
[clunk]
Twilight Sparkle: Aaah! [laughing]
[whoosh]
[clatter]
Sunburst: Huh. I guess it is adorable.
Starlight Glimmer: [chuckle]
Starlight Glimmer: I hope you're enjoying your visit so far.
Sunburst: Are you kidding? I mean, first antiquing and then spending time with Twilight?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Yeah. She's pretty great.
Sunburst: Right? I mean, I know she's a princess, but I never thought she'd be so fun to just hang out with.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, she is the Princess of Friendship.
Sunburst: [chuckle] Right. I guess that makes sense.
Starlight Glimmer: So tomorrow I thought—
Sunburst: I suppose I'm just surprised at how well we get along. I don't have much in common with most ponies.
Starlight Glimmer: You two are pretty similar. I don't know many ponies who are fluent in Olde Ponish.
Sunburst: Exactly! I probably have more in common with Twilight than any pony in Equestria!
Starlight Glimmer: Right...
Sunburst: [sighs] Anyway, I better get some sleep. [yawns] Ponyville might be small, but there's a lot to do. Maybe we should ask Twilight what she recommends we see!
Starlight Glimmer: Um... sure.
Sunburst: Great! Good night, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: Um...
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: ...Good night.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [singsong] Knock, knock!
Sunburst: [yelps] Oh. Hi, Starlight. [yawns] Is it morning already?
Starlight Glimmer: Yup! Maybe a bit early, but like you said, there's a lot to see in Ponyville.
Sunburst: Uh... Right. Okay.
Starlight Glimmer: Plus, I couldn't really sleep. I just kept thinking about all the stuff we have in common and how much fun we'll have today.
Sunburst: Great. Uh, is Twilight up yet?
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, I'm pretty sure she's busy with princess stuff today.
Sunburst: Oh. [yawns]
Starlight Glimmer: But I've got a full day of stuff planned. Just you and me.
Sunburst: Uh, great. Um, would you mind turning around or preferably... leaving the room so I could get changed?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! Right! Sorry. [laughs nervously]
[door closes]
[fly buzzing]
Starlight Glimmer: One genuine Sweet Apple Acres apple tree! Because we used to drink so much apple juice as foals?
Sunburst: Uh, I don't remember that.
Starlight Glimmer: Really? I mean, it was all we drank. Here. Try an apple. I bet that'll jog your memory. [grunts]
[thunk]
Trixie: [yelps] Ow.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie? What are you doing here?
Trixie: Huh. I often seek the privacy of the orchard to practice new feats of amazement. And also, I fell asleep.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Well, Sunburst and I were just catching up, so—
Trixie: [gasps] I don't suppose the two of you want to see a never-before-witnessed magical marvel?
Sunburst: Sure!
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Why not?
Trixie: Behold, visiting friend from Starlight's past, and be amazed by the Great and Powerful – and current best friend of Starlight – Trixie!
[fireworks]
[chains rattling]
[padlock clicks]
Trixie: I give you... the Unicorn Escape! [grunting] Just... a sec... One more... [grunts] twist... and... [grunts] [straining] The Great and Powerful Trixie requires a little assistance.
Sunburst: I know this trick. There's a special link, but I could never hold the chain up long enough to find it.
[chains rattling]
Sunburst: [grunting]
Trixie: [pained grunting]
[pop!]
Trixie: Well, if I could do magic like that, I'd have a whole slew of new tricks at my disposal.
Sunburst: I always liked close-up magic because I knew I could do it if I just practiced enough.
Trixie: [giggling]
[montage music continues]
[clomp, clomp]
[newspaper tearing]
[cards shuffling]
[box shaking]
[ball rolling]
Trixie: Starlight, why didn't you tell me how much Sunburst and I had in common?
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastic] Gee. I don't know.
Starlight Glimmer: I know Trixie's "magic" is, you know, fun. But the Mirror Pool is actual magic.
Sunburst: Whoa. This place is pure pony lore.
Starlight Glimmer: Yup. I mean, it's supposed to be all dangerous, and I guess I shouldn't have broken the seal to get in, but you wanted to see the sights of Ponyville, right?
Sunburst: So, Pinkie Pie just dove in and made copies of herself?
Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm. If we made copies of ourselves, we could get a year's worth of hanging out over in one day.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, not that we would.
[tapping]
Sunburst: Do you hear that?
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. I hope it's not a leftover Pinkie Pie.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Not exactly.
Starlight Glimmer: Maud! How did you get in here?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] This cavern's actually connected to mine.
Sunburst: Uh, what are you doing?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Tapping.
Starlight Glimmer: Maud isn't super chatty. I mean, you and I could sit around and talk all day, but she looks pretty busy.
Sunburst: Are you taking some kind of core sample?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Not exactly. I'm uncovering this section of strata for closer study. You might want to step back.
[crumbling]
Starlight Glimmer: [coughing]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm studying this area's metamorphic—
Sunburst: —foliation. Is this gneiss, phyllite, or slate? Wow. The pressure above must be pretty uniform to get the planar fabric to be this consistent.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You know about geology?
Sunburst: Eh, I dabble. For example, by the speleothems in this cave, I kind of figured there was another way out.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Because of the calcite deposits.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
[montage music continues]
[bubbling]
[squeaking]
[ting!]
[tapping]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? Where's Sunburst?
Starlight Glimmer: [mumbles "I don't know"] Doing stage magic with Trixie? Studying new rocks with Maud? You're here, so I guess you two aren't off translating some ancient Olde Ponish text.
Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about? Why would Sunburst be doing any of that? I thought he came to Ponyville to see you.
Starlight Glimmer: I thought so, too, but it hasn't worked out that way. When we were foals, we had more in common than any two ponies in Equestria. But now, it seems like he's got more in common with my friends than he does with me.
[clunk]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Everypony changes, but that doesn't mean there aren't still things you both like. You both love magic, right?
Starlight Glimmer: Magic?
Twilight Sparkle: Sure. You're really good at it, and Sunburst practically knows every spell that ever was.
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] You're right! Thanks, Twilight! You're the best!
Twilight Sparkle: Heh. I try.
Sunburst: Starlight, what happened? Maud and I found some fascinating sedimentary stratum, but when I turned to show you, you were gone.
Starlight Glimmer: Maud does have a way of making rocks really interesting, but I wanted to work on something a little more "us".
Sunburst: What's this?
Starlight Glimmer: Just a little something I made up.
Sunburst: Whoa! You made up this spell? Just now?
Starlight Glimmer: Yup!
[magic zap]
[wind whirling]
Sunburst: Wow.
Starlight Glimmer: I know, right? But wait, there's more!
[magic zap]
[wind whirling]
Young Starlight Glimmer: Cool, right?!
Young Sunburst: Um... sure.
Young Starlight Glimmer: Now we can play Dragon Pit! Just like we used to!
Young Sunburst: Actually, I thought we could go with Maud and—
Young Starlight Glimmer: I mean, nothing was better than just you and me playing this game when we were foals, right?
Young Sunburst: Starlight.
Young Starlight Glimmer: Do you what to be red or blue?
Young Sunburst: Starlight! I don't want to play the game at all!
[magic zap]
[whoosh]
[shimmer!]
[door creaks]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on in here?
Starlight Glimmer: Nothing. I was trying to have fun doing the one thing I thought we still had in common, but I guess we don't even have that anymore.
Sunburst: I don't understand. Starlight and I have known each other since we were foals, but that doesn't mean we have to be foals to hang out.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Starlight does have a tendency to overdo.
Sunburst: I mean, it is surprising how well I get along with all of her friends, but she and I still have tons in common.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you just need to remind her what those things are.
Sunburst: That's it! That's exactly what I'll do! Uh, right after I think of them.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-oh.
Trixie: Obviously you and I hit it off. I am quite impressive. And we share a love for prestidigitation.
[poof!]
Sunburst: Right. And Starlight and I share a lot of things, too. I just need to think of them. What else do you guys have in common?
Trixie: Well, we've both made not-so-great choices in the past.
[pop, pop!]
[pop!]
Trixie: And we're self-conscious about everypony judging us, even though we've both changed and are trying hard to be better.
[sawing]
Sunburst: Yeah, we don't really have that.
[beat]
[clop, clop]
Trixie: Hmph! I can think of something you have in common. You're both poor practice audiences.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Starlight and I don't really have a lot in common. Other than feeling different from most ponies. And comedy.
Sunburst: Comedy?
[clatter]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm very funny.
Sunburst: Was that a joke?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No.
Sunburst: Oh. Well, that's more than I can think of that she and I have in common.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] We don't really spend that much time talking about that, though. Mostly we're just comfortable around each other.
Sunburst: [sighs] We used to be. We did everything together. But now I'm wondering if we've spent so much time apart that we don't connect over anything anymore. And if we can't connect over anything, then maybe we're not even friends!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Well, at least it's not serious. That was a joke.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I appreciate you trying to help, Twilight. But it seems pretty clear that Sunburst and I have grown apart.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand. But I feel like that only happens if you both let it. You still want to be friends, right?
Starlight Glimmer: I created a spell so we could relive playing a game in our childhood home... and bodies.
Twilight Sparkle: Right...
Starlight Glimmer: I'm just not sure Sunburst wants to stay friends, too.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you might be surprised.
[door opens]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Prepare yourself...
Trixie: ...for the new and improved Dragon Pit!
Sunburst: We had to take out a few spaces to get it to fit, but you hardly miss them. Maud made the dice.
[die clatters]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pumice is the lightest igneous rock. It seemed the best choice.
[die clatters]
Trixie: And I added the special effects. There's nothing like a little well-placed magic smoke.
[poof!]
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like somepony's dragon is going to get trapped.
Starlight Glimmer: I thought you didn't want to play this game.
Sunburst: Well, I didn't want to pretend to be a foal, but I know you wanted to play. I thought it'd be fun to play a version big enough for full-grown ponies. What do you think? Fun, right?
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, it's missing something.
[magic zap]
[cracking]
Sunburst: Aaaah! [grunts]
Starlight Glimmer: [giggles] Now it's fun.
All except Maud Pie: [laughing]
[brakes hissing]
Starlight Glimmer: I don't know why I got so worried about us not having anything in common.
Sunburst: Yeah. I kind of think it doesn't matter as long as we enjoy each other's company.
Trixie: And that game was certainly enjoyable.
Starlight Glimmer: What made it even better was getting to play it with all my friends.
Sunburst: See you soon?
Starlight Glimmer: You bet. I want to hear if you find anything interesting in that barrel.
Sunburst: Trust me, Starlight. You'll be the first to know.
[train whistle blows]
[train chugging]
[ominous music]
[credits]

Shadow Play - Part 1

Star Swirl the Bearded: [narrating] The best elements within us can spread light and virtue, and I know ponies who represent them all – strength, bravery, healing, beauty, hope, and sorcery. Myself and these Pillars of Equestria were gathered together by another to maintain and share the light of these powerful ideals. But we soon came to believe the pony who brought us together only wanted that power for himself. Cast out and alone, this power-mad pony turned to darkness to satisfy his thirst. Transformed into a Pony of Shadows, he returned for revenge – to extinguish the Pillars' light and rob the world of hope. To stop him, the Pillars and I must make a grave sacrifice. But we shall leave behind a seed in hopes that one day it will grow into a force to stand against the darkness for all time. We must now face the fiend with the only plan we have...
Sunburst: [reading] "...I only hope it will be enough." That's the last entry. And maybe Star Swirl's final words before he vanished.
[theme song]
Princess Celestia: I've always wondered what happened to Star Swirl. This is quite a discovery, Sunburst.
Twilight Sparkle: So it's genuine? You can verify that this journal really belonged to Star Swirl the Bearded?!
Princess Luna: Indeed. From the looks of it, the last thing he wrote before facing the Pony of Shadows.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... So, the Pony of Shadows was really real?
Princess Celestia: It appears so.
Princess Luna: We never met the other Pillars, and we were too young to understand the danger they faced.
Applejack: Hold on a second now. All those legendary ponies were real, too? And they went off with Star Swirl to face the Pony of Shadows, and then none of them were ever heard from again?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, yeah. Weren't you listening?
Fluttershy: But what happened to them all?
Rarity: They must have defeated the villain, since Equestria is still full of light and hope.
Starlight Glimmer: But how? And where did they go?
Princess Celestia: My Olde Ponish is a bit rusty, but I wonder if the answers can be found somewhere within the pages of this book.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I just happen to be an expert in Olde Ponish. I mean, I've practically memorized every ancient text about Star Swirl there is!
Spike: Seriously. All of them.
Princess Luna: We have fond memories of our old teacher. If you could discover what happened to him, we would be most grateful.
Sunburst: Solving a thousands-year-old mystery could take forever! Think of the research! The re-reading! The re-re-reading!
Princess Celestia: You might find you need help.
Applejack: Luckily, she's got a whole bushel o' helpers right here.
Rainbow Dash: Totally! Uh... how long will all this research take, exactly?
Twilight Sparkle: Let's get this back to my library. I'm sure we'll figure out what happened in no time.
Rest of Mane Six: [excited chatter]
[candlelight fizzles]
Spike: [yawns] Figure it out yet, Twilight?
Sunburst: [snoring]
[thud]
[paper rustling]
Sunburst: [yelps] What did you figure out?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] You figured something out? [slurps]
Fluttershy: What is it?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Nothing. I mean, Star Swirl was a genius, obviously. But forget Olde Ponish. There's parts where his hornwriting is like another language! [groans]
Applejack: Twilight, we've been studyin' and referencin' and cross-referencin' for three days straight now.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. I haven't spent this much time reading since the last Daring Do book came out.
Rarity: Perhaps it is time to take a break. This mystery is over a thousand years old, after all. Another day or two won't make a difference.
Twilight Sparkle: Two days?! I don't want to waste two seconds! I'm close to an answer. I can feel it.
Starlight Glimmer: [reading] "Hearg sylfum se Ponhenge". What's that?
Twilight Sparkle: The Temple of Ponhenge?! You can read that?!
Starlight Glimmer: The hornwriting's pretty sloppy, but it's nowhere near as bad as mine. [reading] "Toward dol grimlic of Fola Firgenbeorg"?
Sunburst: "At the base of Foal Mountain"...
Starlight Glimmer: [reading] "User endemest scield".
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] "Our last stand".
Spike: [yawns] Well, that sure sounds like a clue to me. [blows]
Twilight Sparkle: This is it. Ponhenge. I can't believe it.
Sunburst: I've never seen magical runes like these before! Have you?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-uh.
Rainbow Dash: I don't think anypony's seen any of this for a long time. [straining] Whoa!
Applejack: It'd take a whole team of ponies to clear away all this brush.
[rock clatters]
Fluttershy: Even then, I'm not sure we'd find out what happened here over a thousand years ago.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I suppose it was a long shot.
Spike: Cheer up, Twilight. Finding a whole set of ancient ruins is pretty impressive. Maybe you could write a paper on it.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I hoped we'd get here and the mystery would just magically be explained.
[magic shimmering]
Spike: Uh... Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic humming]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl!? I... I've wanted to meet you my whole life! I can't believe you're here!
[low humming]
Sunburst: I don't think he is here. I don't think any of them are.
[static fizzling]
[magic zap]
[boom!]
[boom!]
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly] You summon me at your peril, Star Swirl! Once I defeat all of you, this realm will embrace the darkness as I did so long ago! [roars]
[vines snapping]
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly] Drawing me here will only make me stronger. You will never defeat me!
Star Swirl the Bearded: We did not come here to defeat you.
[magic shimmering]
Pony of Shadows: What are you doing?!
Star Swirl the Bearded: We came... to contain you.
Pony of Shadows: [screams]
[thud, poof]
[magic shimmers]
Pinkie Pie: [to Twilight] Well, you did ask for a magical explanation.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... what just happened?
Starlight Glimmer: It looked like Star Swirl cast a spell that banished the Pony of Shadows.
Sunburst: Of course! Powerful magic like that would leave an impression on this place. Bringing the book back here let us see what happened.
Applejack: Which was what?
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl and the rest of the Pillars sacrificed themselves to save Equestria.
Starlight Glimmer: It's amazing to think one of the greatest mysteries of Equestria was solved with a musty old book from an antique shop.
Sunburst: But I wouldn't say the mystery's solved. Star Swirl's spell was one of the most powerful feats of magic in all of history. It'll take years of study before we fully understand it.
Twilight Sparkle: I think I understand Star Swirl's spell!
Twilight Sparkle: I know I've finished one of Star Swirl's spells before, but this one was on a whole different level! Was it an explosion of magical feedback? An evocation? A kind of incantation? It's Star Swirl, so the possibilities are endless! And once Starlight set me on the right track with his crazy hornwriting – [laughs, snorts] I mean, he was a genius, so I guess we can forgive a little messiness – I went through the journal again, and it's amazing!
Rarity: Twilight, darling. We understand you're excited, but that's all we understand.
Rainbow Dash: What exactly is so amazing?
Twilight Sparkle: Only how Star Swirl and the other Pillars sent the Pony of Shadows to limbo!
Applejack: They did what now?
Twilight Sparkle: They used their magic to open a portal between worlds – to limbo – and pulled the Pony of Shadows inside.
[poof!]
Rarity: Darling, your diorama!
Twilight Sparkle: I made more!
[clatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl thought the only way to trap the Pony of Shadows in limbo was for the Pillars to take him there.
Applejack: So they got stuck, too!
Fluttershy: The Pony of Shadows must have been really awful for them to do that.
Pinkie Pie: I suppose being trapped for all time with a super-duper bad guy in limbo might be okay if you were doing the limbo, but that's still pushing it.
Twilight Sparkle: The thing is, I think I can get them out.
Sunburst: Twilight, are you serious? You can save the most legendary ponies of all time?
Starlight Glimmer: I-I don't know. Opening portals between worlds didn't work out well for me. Are you sure it's safe?
Twilight Sparkle: First of all, you opened portals through time. And second of all, Star Swirl wrote the spell you used to do it. If he'd been here, he could have stopped it. Equestria would be safer with him in it. We have to save him.
Applejack: But you'd be savin' all the Pillars, right? A-And they disappeared ages ago.
Twilight Sparkle: That's the thing about limbo. It isn't one place or another. It's in between, so time stands still. If we can pull them out, it'll be like they never left. I actually built another model to demonstrate—
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[thud]
Spike: What can we do to help?
Twilight Sparkle: If I'm right, we need to find items that are connected to the Pillars in some way.
Rainbow Dash: You mean, like, stuff that belonged to them?
Fluttershy: How would we know what to look for? Or where?
Twilight Sparkle: Luckily, Star Swirl took a lot of notes. [reading] "My compatriots are as varied as the realm itself and hail from every corner of our land, bringing with them artifacts and talismans of great power."
[magic shimmering]
Starlight Glimmer: Um, Twilight? What are you doing?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not doing anything!
Applejack: Rockhoof's shovel!
Rainbow Dash: Flash Magnus' shield!
Rarity: Mistmane's flower!
Fluttershy: Meadowbrook's mask!
Pinkie Pie: And the blindfold Somnambula wore when she faced that nasty sphinx!
Twilight Sparkle: I guess we don't need to figure out who should get what.
Petunia Paleo: Professor! It's a Mighty Helm headpiece! Maybe it belonged to Rockhoof himself!
Professor Fossil: Legends don't wear helmets. This belonged to a real pony.
Applejack: Oh, I can guarantee Rockhoof was as real as you and me.
Professor Fossil: [chuckling] And I suppose that ravine was dug with his trusty shovel to save the village from an erupting volcano.
Applejack: Probably.
Professor Fossil: I love old legends as much as anypony. But a pony strong enough to save a village from rushing lava with a shovel is... preposterous.
[rumbling]
[ponies yelping]
Applejack: [straining, grunts]
[loud thud]
[birds chirping]
Professor Fossil: I can't believe you just did that. Y-You saved us!
Applejack: I bet if you told somepony else the story, it might sound... [gasps] "preposterous".
Professor Fossil: I suppose some stories might be true...
[magic humming]
Professor Fossil: And Rockhoof's appears to be one of them.
[gate creaking]
[smack!]
Rarity: Ow!
"Lotus Petal": You keep those hooves to yourself, dearie! This place has been in my family for generations, and I'm not about to let some whippersnapper take the last good piece of it! Time was, ponies came from far and wide to see these gardens. But that flower's the only worthwhile thing left!
[hedge trimmers snipping]
[broom sweeping]
[hedge trimmers snipping]
Rarity: Perhaps it just seemed like your gardens were worthless. But a little pruning can work wonders. Of course you will have to look after more than just one flower now.
"Lotus Petal": You've given me back my family's legacy. The flower you wanted seems like a fair trade for that.
[magic humming]
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe Flash Magnus' shield ended up in the Dragon Lands.
Spike: Good thing you brought the official Equestrian friendship ambassador to the dragons to help you navigate our customs. Like our favorite sport – gorge surfing!
Maar: Wahoo! [whooping] Ollie!
[dragons cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Okay. That was awesome.
"Billy": Dragon Lord Ember commanded us to make peace with ponies, but it doesn't mean you can surf in our spot.
[dragons growling]
Spike: Whoa, fellas. As the official Equestrian friendship ambassador to the dragons, I have to say that's not very friendly.
Garble: Well, what do you know? The puny pony-dragon's sticking up for his pony pal.
Rainbow Dash: Hey! That's an ancient pony artifact!
Garble: Hooves off my gorge board! I found it in the desert, and finders keepers.
Rainbow Dash: It isn't yours.
Garble: Huh. It sure looks like mine. But I might consider racing you for it.
Rainbow Dash: No problem.
Garble: Um... No. I mean [to Spike] you.
Spike: [nervous chuckling]
[dragons cheering]
Dragon: Awesome!
Garble: [blows raspberry]
Spike: [gulps]
"Billy": On your marks... Get set... Surf!
[lava splashing]
Spike: Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaaa! Aaah! [grunting] [painting] I won? I won! Woo-hoo! Give up the shield, Garble!
Garble: [grunts] Lord Ember only commanded us to be nice to ponies. She never said anything about pony-loving dragons.
Spike: Uh, s-since Dragon Lord Ember commanded you to make peace with ponies, you can't very well attack one of their friends, can you?
Garble: I guess we'll find out! [grunts] Aaah!
[thunk]
Garble: Ugh. Why is he always hiding behind ponies?
Spike: I wasn't hiding when I beat you down the ridge.
Garble: You fell.
Rainbow Dash: Wow. You must be slow if all Spike had to do to win was fall down.
Garble: I'm faster than you.
Rainbow Dash: Doubt it.
Garble: Fine! I'll race you back to the top. If you win, you can have your pony junk. But if I win, you'll leave and I get to give it to him!
Rainbow Dash: Fine. I'm pretty sure I could beat you anyway. But with that heavy hunk of metal on your back, it'll be a snap.
Garble: Huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks for the tip.
[shield clatters]
Garble: See ya at the top, loser! Hey! That's mine!
Spike: Finders keepers, remember?
"Billy": See, because that's what you said to them when they first showed up—
[thud]
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: Just remember not to turn away from them, Cattail. Flash bees can get pretty aggressive. I guess that's why none of the other bayou animals can get to the water.
[animals whimpering]
Cattail: Wouldn't it make more sense for you to wear the mask that calms the bees?
Fluttershy: It would... if I didn't have to fly up here to move their hive. There!
[flash bees buzzing]
Fluttershy: Now the other bayou creatures can get to the water without the bees feeling threatened.
[splashing]
Cattail: You know, you didn't have to help with this. I would've lent you the mask anyway.
Fluttershy: I know. [giggles] But I couldn't leave without helping.
[magic humming]
"Fahal Alkhayl": I don't think anypony can find anything in there.
Daring Do: I wouldn't give up hope just yet.
[slime draining]
Pinkie Pie: This old blindfold was stuck in the drain.
Daring Do: Weren't you looking for a blindfold?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah!
[magic humming]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I'm gonna meet Star Swirl the Bearded! You know, outside of my dreams.
Starlight Glimmer: I can't believe you're actually going through with it.
Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean?
Starlight Glimmer: I'm all for pushing the envelope, obviously, but this is pretty out there for you, Twilight.
Sunburst: What's "out there" about saving the most legendary ponies of all time from a thousands-year-old prison?
Starlight Glimmer: Well... nothing when you say it like that. Unless "the most legendary ponies of all time" knew what they were doing, and we shouldn't mess with it.
Sunburst: I'm sure Star Swirl and the Pillars did the best they could back then, but magic has come a long way. Mostly because of the work they did.
Starlight Glimmer: That's true. And you did get your wings from finishing one of Star Swirl's spells.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly.
Starlight Glimmer: But then I messed with one and nearly destroyed the universe, so...
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, Star Swirl the Bearded is the greatest wizard who ever lived. The chance to have him back in Equestria is worth the risk.
Spike: That's good news.
Rainbow Dash: Otherwise, we'd have brought this shield for nothing.
Applejack: I hope you don't think you're the only one to find her artifact, because this here shovel says otherwise.
Rarity: [laughing] Honestly, you two. Not everything is a competition. But Mistmane's flower is by far the most attractive of the artifacts.
Pinkie Pie: You're just saying that because you didn't have to scuba dive in a pit of green slime to get yours!
Fluttershy: Or move a flash beehive.
Twilight Sparkle: Good work, everyone. Let's do this!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[magic zaps]
[magic humming]
[boom!]
[thuds, crashes]
Star Swirl the Bearded: What... What has happened?
Twilight Sparkle: It worked! We brought you back!
Star Swirl the Bearded: To where?
Twilight Sparkle: You and the others have been trapped in limbo for over a thousand years, but I figured out how to get you ho—
Star Swirl the Bearded: What?! No, no, no, no! You must undo what you've done!
Twilight Sparkle: What? Why? I mean, I don't think I can.
Star Swirl the Bearded: You cannot bring us back!
Twilight Sparkle: But I did. I brought all the Pillars back.
Star Swirl the Bearded: You cannot bring only the Pillars back!
[lightning strikes]
[ponies gasp]
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no!
[to be continued]
[credits]

Shadow Play - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Sunburst: That's the last entry. Star Swirl's final words before he vanished.
Applejack: All those legendary ponies were real, too? And then none of them were ever heard from again?
Twilight Sparkle: They used their magic to open a portal to limbo.
Pony of Shadows: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: We need to find items that are connected to the Pillars in some way.
Twilight Sparkle: We brought you back!
Star Swirl the Bearded: You cannot bring only the Pillars back!
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly]
[theme song]
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly] Your pitiful attempt to imprison me has failed, Star Swirl!
[magic fizzles]
Star Swirl the Bearded: You must return us to limbo. It's the only way to stop him.
Twilight Sparkle: I only figured out how to bring you back.
Sunburst: Working on it! No table of contents!
Pony of Shadows: Allow me to assist. [grunts]
[vines lashing]
[rocks breaking]
Pony of Shadows: There! Without the power of Ponhenge, your banishing spell is useless!
Star Swirl the Bearded: You have studied my writings. Surely you have some other plan.
Twilight Sparkle: No. I just wanted to save you. I didn't think—
Pony of Shadows: Don't fret. When I extinguish the light and hope of this miserable world, you won't remember any of this.
Twilight Sparkle: No!
[magic zap]
Pony of Shadows: Argh! This one is almost as... strong as you, Star Swirl. But even in my weakened state, she cannot stop the might of shadows! [grunts]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Lucky for her, she's not alone!
Pony of Shadows: [straining] Arrrrggghhhh!
Star Swirl the Bearded: Know this, fiend! We will not rest until we find a way to return you to limbo!
Pony of Shadows: [growls] Never! Your days of glory are through, Star Swirl. Now my dark power will reign, and you six will bow to me!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Um... where'd he go?
Somnambula: That is a riddle we must unravel. And quickly.
Mage Meadowbrook: How long have we been gone?
Fluttershy: Over a thousand years.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Then my spell worked – before it was meddled with – and the realm has been at peace for a millennia!
Pinkie Pie: Weeeeell... we did have to save everypony from Nightmare Moon and Discord and Chrysalis and King Sombra and Lord Tirek, and there was that one time when Starlight traveled through time and almost destroyed life as we know it! But that's all in the past.
Flash Magnus: If you are truly this accomplished, we will stop the Pony of Shadows twice as fast together.
Star Swirl the Bearded: We shall see. It is an easy thing to say you have saved the world. It is quite another to do it.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, we've saved the world, Beardo. And we can do it again.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Be that as it may, the problem of locating the Pony of Shadows remains, and this land is vast.
Rarity: It sounds like you need a map. Luckily, we have just the thing.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Something about this magic seems familiar...
[magic zap]
[ponies gasp]
Rarity: Did you know he can do that?
Twilight Sparkle: He's Star Swirl! He can do anything!
Star Swirl the Bearded: This map, and indeed this very castle, are grown from the seed we planted over a thousand years ago.
Rockhoof: Then it did work!
Sunburst: What worked?
Somnambula: Each of us infused a crystal seed with our magic in hopes that it would grow into a force for good.
Mistmane: We wanted to leave something to protect the realm in our absence, but we never dreamed our gift would become so powerful.
Applejack: Y'all mean the Elements came from you?
Pinkie Pie: You know, the sparkly crystal things that grow from the Tree of Harmony and represent each of us? Laughter, honesty, generosity, loyalty, kindness, and magic!
Somnambula: They are reflections of our own elements of hope, strength, beauty, bravery, healing, and sorcery.
Mage Meadowbrook: We had no idea our small seed would bloom into the living spirit of the land. I am glad our mantles have passed to such capable ponies.
Star Swirl the Bearded: More importantly, we no longer need Ponhenge to send our foe back to limbo. We can use the stored magic in this Tree of Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle: But doesn't a banishing spell take a lot of power? We'd have to sacrifice the Elements for that.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Mm-hmm.
Fluttershy: They'd be gone... forever?
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl, I don't think the Tree can survive without the Elements. If it dies, Equestria will suffer.
Star Swirl the Bearded: If the Pony of Shadows has his way, your land will not exist. So unless you have a better idea...
[magic zap]
Star Swirl the Bearded: Our foe will seek dark places from which to draw power. I will prepare my spell so that we may strike as soon as you find him.
Rainbow Dash: What are we waiting for?
Flash Magnus: I like your spirit!
[excited chatter]
Spike: What about this one?
Twilight Sparkle: Seapony etiquette isn't going to help right now, Spike.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, Twilight? Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: I just unleashed ultimate evil and doomed Equestria because I was obsessed with meeting my idol! Why wouldn't I be okay?!
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: [scoffs] You didn't know that was gonna happen.
Twilight Sparkle: But I should have listened to you and left things alone. Now the Elements of Harmony will be lost to fix my mistake!
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe there's another way.
Spike: If there is, Twilight will find it.
Twilight Sparkle: Portal gate... Portal keys... Portal spells... Yes! If the Pillars can hold open the gateway to limbo, a powerful pony can do the banishing spell herself! Do you know what this means?
Spike: [panting] I can stop carrying books?
Twilight Sparkle: The Pillars don't have to leave Equestria! Even though we'll lose the Elements, we'll have the ponies that created them. And the Pony of Shadows will be banished for good!
Starlight Glimmer: That's great. Heh. But I was thinking of another way that maybe doesn't involve banishing at all?
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl knew what he was doing when he cast that spell. If I can make it even better, maybe he'll see that I take magic as seriously as he does.
Rockhoof: It seems the dark places Star Swirl indicated on the map have changed.
Applejack: I bet the Pony of Shadows would've loved the Ghastly Caverns before a thousand years of erosion turned it into the Ghastly Gorge.
Fluttershy: The Appeloosian Wastes sure sounded dark and desolate.
Rarity: Who knew they would become such a popular square dancing destination?
Pinkie Pie: And I get how this part of Equestria used to be cast in eternal night where the Pony of Shadows could draw power and wreak havoc while ponies were powerless to stop him. But...
[clang]
Pinkie Pie: [echoing] ...it's kinda made a comeback! Did I mention it's really bright?!
Star Swirl the Bearded: It seems there are fewer dark corners in the realm these days.
Rainbow Dash: Isn't that a good thing?
Flash Magnus: True. The Pony of Shadows will have a hard time regaining power. When he rears his head, we'll be ready!
[thunk]
Fluttershy: Isn't there some way to banish him without losing all of you?
Mage Meadowbrook: Oh, I wish there were. But to save our home, we are willin' to leave it.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think you'll have to! My spell isn't finished yet, but I think we can send the Pony of Shadows to limbo without all of you having to go as well!
Star Swirl the Bearded: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, Twilight, this is hardly the time to take risks on half-baked spells.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Applejack: Beggin' your pardon, Mr. the Bearded! But Twilight doesn't do anythin' halfway!
Pinkie Pie: Especially not magic!
Rainbow Dash: Seriously! She got her wings by finishing one of your spells!
Rarity: I think you'll find her work is worth reading before you dismiss it out of hoof!
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm!
Mage Meadowbrook: While it is an unconventional approach, I believe it could work.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Hmm. I suppose there is a chance.
Sunburst: But we still have no idea where to find the villain.
[cutie marks shimmering]
Spike: Maybe we should try there?
Applejack: The Hollow Shades. I think a branch of the Apple family lives there.
Sunburst: They'd have to be pretty distant. The Hollow Shades was abandoned eons ago.
Rarity: Hmm, that's odd. The only time the map's called all of us to one place was Starlight's village.
Rainbow Dash: So it's like a super-villain tracker! No offense.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you think the map could be trying to tell us where the Pony of Shadows is?
Star Swirl the Bearded: Hmm... The Tree of Harmony acting to protect the light of the realm... Yes. A good thought, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: [squeals]
Star Swirl the Bearded: I will make my notes on this spell. Ready yourselves for battle.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I know I'm not as experienced as all of you, but is banishment really the only option? I mean, it's been a long time. Maybe the Pony of Shadows is ready to talk?
Star Swirl the Bearded: I doubt we can save our homeland with a conversation.
Starlight Glimmer: But we could try.
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I'm sure Star Swirl and the others did try.
Star Swirl the Bearded: The Pony of Shadows was not interested in reconciliation. Once a villain, always a villain. Twilight, Sunburst, would you accompany me? I wish to refine this spell for our use.
Rockhoof: Come. We must prepare for the struggle ahead.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I know Star Swirl is a great wizard, but this whole plan seems... wrong. The map's only ever sent us to solve friendship problems.
Spike: Maybe so, but the Pony of Shadows doesn't really seem like the "friendship" type.
Starlight Glimmer: Honestly? We don't know anything about him.
Spike: Well, nopony does.
Starlight Glimmer: That's not entirely true.
[squeaking]
[grinding]
Starlight Glimmer: You all knew the Pony of Shadows before he became what he is now. You must've been friends. So what happened?
Rockhoof: The tale of our rift is a sad one.
Sirens: [operatic singing]
[ponies arguing]
[clang!]
Rockhoof: [narrating] Stygian was a pony like the rest of us, though more scholar than hero. He recognized our emerging world would need champions to defend it.
Aria Blaze: [hisses, roars]
Sirens: [roaring]
[magic zap]
[ponies cheering]
Flash Magnus: [narrating] He may have gathered us together, but he himself was just an ordinary unicorn who soon grew jealous of our abilities.
Mistmane: [narrating] He stole objects from each of us. Artifacts to use in a spell.
Mage Meadowbrook: [narrating] And we cast him out for it.
Somnambula: [narrating] We always thought he'd return and seek forgiveness. But when we saw him again, his heart was bent on revenge. He dashed even my hope of saving him.
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer: But why did he steal the artifacts from you?
Mage Meadowbrook: No doubt it was an enchantment to take our powers for himself.
Starlight Glimmer: Hmm...
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: That looks like a lot of work.
Star Swirl the Bearded: It is what must be done, and it would be best if we were not disturbed.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, Starlight, but we can't stop to talk. The stakes are too high, and we have to—
Starlight Glimmer: Banish Stygian to limbo. I get it.
Sunburst: Uh, who?
Star Swirl the Bearded: Stygian was the name the Pony of Shadows gave up when he turned to darkness.
Starlight Glimmer: And I'm just trying to figure out why.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Envy. He wanted more power than he had, and that desire led him down a path from which there is no return!
Starlight Glimmer: I know from experience that's not always true. When the map called you six to my village, it was for a friendship problem. Are you sure this is different?
Twilight Sparkle: I...
Star Swirl the Bearded: Stygian wants to destroy all that is good in this world. There's no way to befriend a pony like that.
Starlight Glimmer: I guess I'm lucky your idol wasn't around when you decided to be my friend. I might've been banished to limbo, too.
[door closes]
Somnambula: I am glad we have the chance to see what has grown from our efforts so long ago.
Mistmane: It seems a shame to harm it.
Star Swirl the Bearded: A necessary sacrifice. With the Elements' power, we will bind the Pony of Shadows in limbo. And thanks to Twilight, we will remain to watch over the realm ourselves.
[magic humming]
Rockhoof: Um... how do we use them?
Rarity: Well, you... Oh. I'm not sure. They simply work for us.
Star Swirl the Bearded: The Elements are attuned to you. We must use their magic in pairs.
Rainbow Dash: No problem. We're used to banishing evil before breakfast.
[hoof-bump]
Applejack: And it'll be an honor to save Equestria with y'all.
Starlight Glimmer: I really hope Twilight knows what she's doing...
Sunburst: I don't remember reading anything that said the Hollow Shades was like this.
Mistmane: Ohhh. The Pony of Shadows must have twisted it to his purposes.
[evil chuckle echoing]
Star Swirl the Bearded: Prepare yourselves. He is here. Stygian! Show yourself and face us!
Pony of Shadows: [laughing evilly]
[rumbling]
[cracking]
[ponies scream]
Sunburst: [groans] I definitely would've remembered reading about this.
Pony of Shadows: [laughing maniacally] Welcome to the Well of Shade! When you turned your backs on me, I discovered this place. The darkness spoke to me of a power beyond any I could imagine, and I listened. The shadow and I became one. Soon, all of the realm will be the same. Then all ponies will feel the despair I did when you cast me out!
Star Swirl the Bearded: We did what we had to do. You tried to steal our powers for yourself.
Pony of Shadows: No! It was you who were selfish! And now you will pay!
[magic zap]
[cracking]
Starlight Glimmer: Are you still sure this isn't a friendship problem?
Star Swirl the Bearded: Ready? Open the portal...
[shatter!]
Star Swirl the Bearded: ...Now!
[magic shimmering]
[wind whistling]
[magic zap]
Pony of Shadows: No! You will not trap me again!
Star Swirl the Bearded: Twilight! Push him in!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? There's... a pony in there.
Pony of Shadows: [roars]
[light humming]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you... Stygian?
Stygian: I was, once. Until my friends betrayed me.
Twilight Sparkle: But Star Swirl says you betrayed them. You wanted their magic...
Stygian: No! I wanted their respect. I brought them together. I planned strategy, and I read all I could about the beasts we faced. But I didn't have magic or strength, so nopony ever noticed me. I went to Ponhenge to make my own copies of the artifacts. With them, I thought I could be a Pillar, too, and stand by their side in battle. I never wanted to steal their power. But instead of sharing and letting me help, my friends threw me out. [voice deepening and growling] So I became stronger than any of them! The darkness welcomed me when no pony would, and I will do what I must to protect it!
Twilight Sparkle: This is all a misunderstanding! If the Pillars knew how you felt, I'm sure they wouldn't have turned their backs on you. The shadow isn't who you really are. Let me help you be Stygian again.
Stygian: Even if my friends did still care, what makes you think you have the power to help me?
Starlight Glimmer: Because it's what she does. I wasn't so different from you, and Twilight helped me change. If there's one pony in Equestria that can save a friendship, it's her.
Stygian: I... I want to believe you... [growls] But the darkness will not be stopped!
Twilight Sparkle: Aah! [grunts]
Pony of Shadows: Argh! [pained groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Fight the darkness, Stygian! You don't need it anymore! Revenge isn't what you want! Friendship is!
Pony of Shadows: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
Pony of Shadows: [roars]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! The shadow won't let go of him. He wants to stop, but he can't do it alone.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Then we must help him!
[magic shimmering]
Pony of Shadows: [roars, screams]
[magic explodes]
[whoosh]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts, sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Oh, it felt sooooo good to do that again!
Pinkie Pie: Friendship power rush! Whoo!
Rarity: The Elements! They didn't disappear!
Fluttershy: Maybe because we used them for healing magic instead of banishing?
Applejack: Look!
Star Swirl the Bearded: Long ago, you needed our help, Stygian. But instead of listening, we turned our backs on you. Pride clouded my judgment. I owe you an apology. Thank you for helping us see the errors of our ways, Twilight. It seems I never accounted for the Magic of Friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, Swirlstar! Uh, Star Swirl!
[cutie marks shimmering]
Starlight Glimmer: [clears throat] Soooo... apparently a conversation can save Equestria?
Star Swirl the Bearded: [chuckles] Something tells me I will be making a lot of apologies today.
Star Swirl the Bearded: I simply cannot believe how tall you've gotten!
Princess Celestia: Well, it has been over a thousand years. Will you stay here and teach magic once again? My sister and I have such fond memories of your lessons.
Princess Luna: As long as you don't ask for those essays we owed you before you disappeared.
Princess Celestia: [giggles]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [chuckles] I'm not certain Canterlot is where I belong. The realm has grown, and I believe I'll have a look around before I settle in any one place.
Mage Meadowbrook: And I long to see what has become of my home.
Mistmane: I believe we all do.
Princess Celestia: Then I hope you will return to Canterlot on occasion and share the wisdom of your great experience with the next generation of ponies.
Star Swirl the Bearded: We would be honored. But if it is wisdom you seek, look no further than your own pupil. She showed me that the power of friendship is a magical force indeed. And that in turning away from others, you hurt yourself as well.
Twilight Sparkle: It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.
[credits]

School Daze - Part 1

Twilight Sparkle: This happened while we were gone?
Applejack: Wow! Those are all the places we went when we left to save Equestria!
Rarity: Ugh! There's that horrid town where we were almost sold!
Rainbow Dash: The pirates! They were pretty awesome! Uh, once they decided not to throw us overboard.
Pinkie Pie: And Mount Aris! Ooh, Starlight! Did you know we made seashell necklaces for aaaaaa... [inhales] ...aaaaall the seaponies?
Starlight Glimmer: I... You... Really? What about that unicorn? The one who attacked Canterlot?
Twilight Sparkle: Tempest! I invited her to come to Ponyville, but she wanted to spread the word of the Storm King's defeat and share what she learned about friendship.
Applejack: Y'all think that's why the map grew? Friendship quests beyond Equestria?
Fluttershy: I hope not. I've had quite enough life-threatening adventures, thank you very much.
[squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: How many friendship quests do you think we need to go on before we have to expand the throne room?
Twilight Sparkle: We can't do it all alone.
Pinkie Pie: Sure we can! We just need to knock this wall down, get some paint...
Twilight Sparkle: No. I mean, the world is filled with so many different creatures who know nothing about friendship. We need help if we're gonna teach them all about friendship. Lots of help.
Rarity: Perhaps. But where does one go to learn about friendship?
Twilight Sparkle: Here! They can all go here! Because we're gonna open a school!
[theme song]
Princess Celestia: I think a school of friendship is a wonderful idea, Twilight! I'll help in any way I can.
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: I just have a few questions. What time should school start each day?
Princess Celestia: It really d—
Twilight Sparkle: What's the ideal length for class? Do you test regularly?
Princess Celestia: Oh, well, that's—
Twilight Sparkle: What about class projects?
Princess Celestia: That's a very—
Twilight Sparkle: Assigned seating? Open seating? Or is that... too unstructured?
Princess Celestia: [giggles] Oh, Twilight. You were my star pupil. If anyone knows how to run a school, it's you.
Twilight Sparkle: There's a big difference between attending a school and running one. It's not like there's a rule book to follow.
Princess Celestia: Actually, there is. The EEA guidebook is very specific about how to run a school.
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA? I've never heard of that. Should I have heard of that?!
Princess Celestia: Of course not. You've never run a school before. The Equestria Education Association is a board of learned ponies that oversee every school in Equestria.
Spike: Even your school? But you're you!
Princess Celestia: Not even a princess can do whatever she likes when it comes to shaping young pony minds. The EEA ensures that whether it's unicorns studying magic, Pegasi learning weather, or Earth ponies researching agriculture, all schools are held to the same high standard. They'll need to approve your plan before you can move forward.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike, looks like we have a presentation to make.
Spike: [scoffs] After everything we've been through, how hard can that be?
[deep chord]
Spike: I'm gonna go with "really hard".
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, hello. My name is—
Neighsay: Princess Twilight Sparkle. I am Chancellor Neighsay. Equestria owes you a great debt. But princess or no, we expect you to do things by... the... book!
[thud]
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: I think you'll find my curriculum meets all your requirements, Chancellor.
[pages flipping]
Neighsay: And can we trust you to follow through with this plan? Will you leave the school unattended to gallop off on your... "adventures"?
Twilight Sparkle: My journey beyond Equestria showed me firsthoof that the threats out there are greater than we imagined!
[EEA members hushed whispering]
Twilight Sparkle: If we want to keep our land safe and create a friendlier tomorrow, we need to teach the Magic of Friendship far and wide.
Neighsay: A school for ponies to learn how to protect themselves.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, more like respecting differences and communicating.
[long pause]
Neighsay: The EEA concurs. Every pony should be prepared to defend our way of life. So, if your work is in order, provisional EEA approval is granted. We will need to observe your school up and running before it can be fully accredited.
Twilight Sparkle: Then please, join us for Friends and Family Day. It'll be the perfect time to see our progress!
[stamp]
[various glints]
[splashing]
Rainbow Dash: It's too much. Too much!
Rarity: Ugh, you think so? I had hoped dressing the part would help me feel the part.
Rainbow Dash: Not your dress! This! Us! Teaching?! They're gonna think I'm an egghead!
Pinkie Pie: Well, the students are gonna love my confetti cannon class. It's gonna be... a blast!
[party cannon squeak]
Fluttershy: Um, hello there. I'm your teacher. I hope you enjoy class. But if you don't enjoy it, that's okay, too.
Applejack: I don't know about all this.
Twilight Sparkle: It's going to be fine. Everything about this school just feels right.
Starlight Glimmer: See? If Twilight isn't stressed, you've got nothing to worry about.
Applejack: And you're sure you want us to be teachers? In classrooms?
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA is very clear on how schools should be run. We have a huge responsibility, and I need you all to do this by the book. That means no cannons in class, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Awww. Not even a [high-pitched] teeny cannon?
[tiny party cannon fires]
Twilight Sparkle: I know it's not some big adventure against the forces of evil, but this could be the most important thing we've ever done. I can't run a school of friendship without my best friends. Can I count on you?
Rarity: Of course you can, darling.
Rainbow Dash: Call me Professor Egghead. I'm in!
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: [screams] First day at school! So many new ponies!
Twilight Sparkle: About that. One thing I forgot to mention. It's not just ponies.
[students chattering]
Pinkie Pie: That was unexpected.
Rarity: Ooh! Students certainly traveled from far and wide to attend our school!
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms. After all, friendship is something that needs to be shared with every... creature.
[magic zap]
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Welcome to the School of Friendship! I'm your headmare Twilight Sparkle. Please follow Guidance Counselor Starlight to sign in and get your class assignments. Then we can show you your living quarters.
[thump]
Sandbar: Whoa, sorry! I'm Sandbar. Are you a student here, too?
Gallus: [sarcastically] No, I just figured I'd randomly stand here and see how many ponies would walk into me. [huffs]
Grampa Gruff: Gallus! [wheezes]
Rainbow Dash: Grandpa Gruff? What are you doing here?
Grampa Gruff: Flew all the way from Griffonstone to introduce Gallus.
Gallus: Rainbow Dash, right? Gilda told me about you. You're a teacher? Huh. Thought you'd be... cooler.
[door slams]
Prince Rutherford: Ponies!
Pinkie Pie: Prince Rutherford!
Prince Rutherford: This Yona Yak. She come to pony school. Hah. Make it better.
Yona: Yak can't wait to meet ponies and tell all about Yakyakistan!
[ponies screaming]
Yona: [yelps]
[thud]
[crash]
Applejack: Why don't I show you around before you destroy the place?
Smolder: But dragons are better than this! Why am I here?
Ember: Because as Dragon Lord, I'm ordering you to be here! Hey, Spike! Come meet Smolder.
Spike: Great to see you, Ember! Uh, which one is Smolder?
[beat]
Thorax: Ocellus! What did we talk about?
[changeling zap]
Thorax: I told you, stay in your own form. It's the polite thing to do. Sorry, she's shy.
Silverstream: What is that?! No way! I didn't know ponies could turn into... um... What are you?
Thorax: A changeling.
Silverstream: Ponies can turn into changelings?!
Fluttershy: No, but changelings can turn into ponies.
Silverstream: Huh. That's confusing!
[changeling zap]
Seaspray: I am General Seaspray of Her Majesty Queen Novo's navy. I would like to introduce the queen's niece, Silverstream.
Silverstream: This place is amazing! I've spent most of my life in a coral reef underwater. I was a seapony, but now I'm a Hippogriff. Long story. Anyway, wow! Is that a yak?!
[ponies chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for supporting the grand opening of our school. I hope you'll all join us for Friends and Family Day to see the amazing progress your students are making.
[cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like school's in session!
[Choir]
The School of Friendship, first day of class
Will we fail or will we pass?
Students come from far and wide
Brand-new friends here by our side
[Twilight Sparkle]
Take a breath, look around, it's amazing
I can't believe that it's real
Students galore, new ideas to explore
Can't contain the excitement I feel
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
Think "success", keep it firmly in sight
Make sure to do things by the book
Make sure to do it all right
[Choir]
The School of Friendship, must get to class
Will we fail or will we pass?
Students learning from the best
Taking notes to pass the test
[Twilight Sparkle]
Wait, hold on! Not like that! Just a second!
I'm not sure if that method's approved
Let me take a look – yup, right here in the book
[Rainbow Dash]
Come on! We just got in the groove!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
We are shaping young minds to ignite
Do it like it says in the book
Now make sure you're doing it right
[Pinkie Pie]
There's not an equation on how to have fun
[Fluttershy]
The students look bored now – oh, what have I done?
[Applejack]
Can't teach bein' honest, not sure what to do
[Rarity]
I'm quite certain I'm lost
[Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle]
None of us has a clue!
[Students]
School of Friendship, another class
Wish it were more of a blast
Thought this school would be more fun
Can't wait for our classes to be done
School of Friendship
[Twilight Sparkle]
Can't mess up, can't afford a mistake now
[Pinkie Pie]
No way to have fun
[Fluttershy]
Oh, what have I done?
[Students]
Bored with this class
[Twilight Sparkle]
Think "success", keep it firmly in sight
[Students]
Wish that we could leave our desks
[Rarity]
We don't have a clue
[Students]
Listen to this one request
Make things fun, we're really stressed
[Twilight Sparkle]
Make sure to do things by the book now
[All sans Twilight Sparkle]
Can we tell her this thing is a mess?
[students groaning]
Silverstream: Is this what boring is? Am I bored?
Smolder: Ugh, please. These ponies are the heroes of Equestria?
Sandbar: Listen, these ponies saved all of us from the Storm King.
Gallus: How? By boring him into surrender?
Ocellus: Our teachers are a little different than I expected.
Yona: Ugh! Pony school waste of time! Yak school teach how to braid yak hair! Braiding yak hair is best! Whoa!
[thud]
Smolder: Oof! Is there anything in Yakyakistan that isn't the best?
Yona: Yes! Wait. No! Yaks best.
Smolder: No claws, no wings, no fire. What is it exactly you're proud of?
Sandbar: Whoa, cool it. No need to harsh Yona's love for her heritage, okay?
Gallus: Awww, are we not being sweet and friendly enough for you, pony?
Silverstream: That was sarcasm, right? Because you weren't being sweet or nice!
Smolder: Maybe dragons and griffons are just too tough for friendship.
Yona: Yaks tough, just not nasty.
Gallus: Who you calling nasty, klutz?
Gallus and Yona: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, break it up! Break... it... up!
Starlight Glimmer: What is going on here?!
Gallus: Just a friendly discussion about the magic of friendship amongst friends.
Applejack: Everypony— I mean, everyone, go to your next class! I just can't believe it. Fights breakin' out when they're supposed to be learnin' friendship?
Starlight Glimmer: Things definitely aren't going as "by the book" as Twilight planned.
Rainbow Dash: That's because we're terrible teachers! Face it. This school isn't gonna work.
Applejack: [fading in] ...fights breakin' out in the hallway...
[other main characters talking over each other]
Pinkie Pie: ...putting myself to sleep!
Rainbow Dash: I don't look like that, do I?
Pinkie Pie: [snores]
Twilight Sparkle: I get it. Things are getting off to a rougher start than expected. But that's okay!
Spike: Who are you, and what have you done with Twilight Sparkle?
Twilight Sparkle: Every school in Equestria follows these rules. As long as we do too, we'll be fine.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe we should... try something new?
Twilight Sparkle: The EEA will be here this afternoon for Friends and Family Day. They need to see a school that follows their guidelines.
Fluttershy: Even if those guidelines aren't working?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, then we have to try harder and make sure they do.
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Another morning, another chance to inspire our students!
[door opens]
Sandbar: Hey! Professor Dash's class is this way.
Ocellus: Where are you going? You're not [gasps] skipping, are you?
Smolder: That's exactly what we're doing.
Silverstream: But Friends and Family Day—
Gallus: Is after class. Relax. This is just a quick... mental health break.
Ocellus, Silverstream, and Yona: [whispering]
Silverstream: That sounds legit! We're in!
Sandbar: I guess I'll tag along, too. Make sure you don't get into... trouble.
[students giggling]
Fluttershy: This way, Angel!
Silverstream: Professor Fluttershy! We're busted!
[changeling zap]
Fluttershy: Oh, my! What are you all doing? Aren't classes that way?
Ocellus: Ah— [clears throat] A generosity field trip, daaaaarling. [giggles] I'm taking the students to the lake to look at our divine reflections.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Oh, that sounds nice. Have fun!
Angel: [growls]
[changeling zap]
[students giggling]
Smolder: I take back everything I said about you! That was cool!
Ocellus: Thanks! Wait, what did you say about me?
[students giggling]
Starlight Glimmer: You're sure sticking to the book is gonna work?
Twilight Sparkle: My friends can handle anything. They'll have these problems turned around before we know it.
Neighsay: Problems?
Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Chancellor Neighsay! You're here!
Neighsay: Yes. And you seem unprepared. If there are problems...
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Problems? Ha! Of course not! We can't wait to show you around!
[scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles nervously]
Gallus: And that's why griffons breathe fire when we get mad.
Silverstream: They do not! Wait! Do they? No! Really?!
Yona: Griffons just full of hot air!
[students laughing]
Smolder: And yaks are actually good at jokes. How about that?
Ocellus: What are dragons good at?
Smolder: Competition! Who's up for a race?
[skidding brakes]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Why aren't you in class teaching?
Rainbow Dash: Because my students are gone! Uh, g-gone somewhere else! Doing a loyalty lesson! And-and I was just going to grab, uh... this pencil! Because they need it. Wherever they are. Which I know, 'cause... I'm the teacher!
Twilight Sparkle: I see. [laughs nervously] Well, Chancellor, we have other classes. We can just—
Neighsay: Let's follow the professor. I'm quite curious about this lesson in loyalty.
[students laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Of course, we want to instill a sense of loyalty towards others. We encourage acts of generosity and kindness.
[students yelping]
Gallus: Figured we shouldn't be the only ones enjoying the view.
Yona: Waaaah! Yak not best at flying!
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] And appreciation for the value of laughter...
Yona: Flying is best!
Silverstream: Congratulations, Yona! You are officially the weirdest thing I've seen so far!
Smolder: What do you say, Ocellus? Can you be weirder than a flying yak?
[changeling zap]
[other students gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: ...and to always be honest in any situation.
Neighsay: Honesty is imperative. Princess, are we going in circles?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, look at the time! We'd better head to the lake for Friends and Family Day. I'm sure all the students and faculty will be there.
[ponies chattering]
Prince Rutherford: [laughs]
[clink]
[buzzing noise]
Ember: What is that?!
[shocked noises and screams]
Neighsay: Aah! The school is under attack!
Gallus: [grunts]
[spinning]
Silverstream and Smolder: [gasps]
Yona: [screams]
[splat]
Pony: Oh, my goodness!
[changeling zap]
[crunch]
[all coughing]
Silverstream: Uh, maybe skipping class wasn't the best idea?
Neighsay: How dare you! This act of aggression against ponies—!
Twilight Sparkle: I-I'm so sorry, Chancellor. We clearly had some students get a little carried away.
Neighsay: Those are students? But you said you were opening this school to protect Equestria! To defend ponies from... dangerous creatures who don't have our best interests at heart!
Twilight Sparkle: My school teaches for all of us to work together through friendship.
Neighsay: And how do you know these creatures won't take what they have learned here and use it against us?
Twilight Sparkle: Friendship isn't just for ponies!
Neighsay: It should be.
Prince Rutherford: Unicorn think yaks no need friendship? Maybe yaks no need pony school!
Neighsay: Well, perhaps you should return to your kind.
Ember: "Your kind"?! Smolder, let's go!
Seaspray: Queen Novo will want to hear of this!
Grampa Gruff: Well, this place seemed lame anyways.
Thorax: [despondently] It's fine. We know not every pony sees us the way you do. We're used to it.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia helped me reach out to all the kingdoms! When she hears you closed the school because—!
Neighsay: Because you failed to meet the EEA's standards?
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Neighsay: Irresponsible teachers, students skipping class, endangering ponies! Your school is a disaster. Perhaps if you had had higher standards for who was admitted, this could have been avoided. Regardless...
[magic noises]
[chains rattling]
Neighsay: By order of the EEA, I am shutting this school... [stomps] down!
Twilight Sparkle: [sad gasp]
[to be continued]
[credits]

School Daze - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Twilight Sparkle: This happened while we were gone?
Applejack: Friendship quests beyond Equestria?
Twilight Sparkle: We're gonna open a school!
Neighsay: We expect you to do things by... the... book!
Twilight Sparkle: We have a huge responsibility, and I need you all to do this by the book.
Smolder: These ponies are the heroes of Equestria?
Gallus: This is just a quick... mental health break.
Neighsay: The school is under attack!
Neighsay: Those are students?
Neighsay: I am shutting this school... [stomps] down!
Twilight Sparkle: [sad gasp]
[theme song]
[phonograph playing sad music]
[door opens]
Spike: Twilight? You feeling okay?
Twilight Sparkle: [muffled groan]
[click, sad music stops]
Twilight Sparkle: [incoherent groan]
Spike: [sighs] Look on the bright side. Sure, the EEA closed your friendship school. But now you've got time to do other stuff! It's like being on vacation!
[flumph]
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: A failure vacation! I'm supposed to be the Princess of Friendship! And all I did was make enemies with Equestria's allies, upset my friends, and get my school... [eye twitches] ...unaccredited! There is no bright side! [blows nose]
Spike: Okay, then. I'm gonna need backup. Operation Cheer-Up is a go!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight! You can't sit around in the boring dark all day!
Applejack: Exactly! What you need is a double dose of Granny Smith's apple mash.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Whenever I'm sad, a hug from Angel Bunny always makes me feel better.
Angel: [squeaks] [whimpers]
Fluttershy: Oh! Uh... Maybe it's just me. [laughs nervously]
Rarity: I find that nothing brightens my mood like a new ensemble!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs, still tearing up] Thanks, Rarity. It's a great dress... [sobs] for somepony who knows how to run a school! [blows nose]
Pinkie Pie: [whispering, to Spike] You didn't tell me this was a pity party! I would've brought ice cream!
Twilight Sparkle: I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but not everything can be fixed with dresses and cupcakes.
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: What?!
Twilight Sparkle: I just need some time to be alone and think.
[doors close]
[waterfall rushing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh...
Starlight Glimmer: I wondered how long you'd take to get tired of pillow-fort pouting.
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony's already tried to cheer me up. It won't work.
Starlight Glimmer: [short laugh] I'm not gonna cheer you up. I'm gonna tell you what you did wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Starlight Glimmer: You gave up too easily.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, you made me a guidance counselor. That means tough love.
Twilight Sparkle: Neighsay was right. I failed. The school was a disaster.
Starlight Glimmer: So was I when you met me. But you showed me that when you know in your heart something is right, you stand up for it. You did that for me. Why not for this?
Twilight Sparkle: I can't go against the EEA! They're in charge of all the schools in Equestria!
Starlight Glimmer: And you're in charge of all the friendship in Equestria. Why should you let somepony else stop you from doing your job?
Twilight Sparkle: But the EEA rulebook—
[splash]
Starlight Glimmer: Doesn't matter! You can write your own rules! Because you are doing something new. Something important!
Twilight Sparkle: You're right! Why we're doing this is way more important than how we're doing this! And we are doing this!
Starlight Glimmer: Now, that's the Twilight I know. How can I help?
Twilight Sparkle: You already have.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Guess what? The School of Friendship is back in business!
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Rarity: But why?!
Fluttershy: Oh, no.
Applejack: Bad idea.
Pinkie Pie: Do we still get to guess?
Rainbow Dash: No offense, Twilight, but teaching at that school was the most boring, horrible, awful thing ever.
Applejack: Uh, pretty sure she's gonna take offense to that.
Twilight Sparkle: No, Rainbow Dash is right. I owe you all an apology. I was so focused on doing things the EEA way, I didn't listen to any of you. I'm sorry. I promise, this time, we'll run the school the way friends should – together.
Rarity: So... we'd be allowed to teach however we want to?
Fluttershy: No more scary pop quizzes?
Pinkie Pie: Confetti cannons for everycreature?
[party cannons clanking]
Twilight Sparkle: Whatever you need to teach the Elements of Harmony.
Pinkie Pie: Yippeeeee!
[party cannons fire]
Applejack: Well, in that case, we're behind you one hundred percent, Twilight.
Spike: [clears throat] Just two small problems. The school is still unaccredited...
Twilight Sparkle: [eye twitches]
Spike: ...and we don't have any students.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll take care of the first part if you five can round up our class.
Rainbow Dash: Totally! Uh... how?
Applejack: Roundin' up the pony students ain't gonna be an issue, but...
Fluttershy: The creatures from the other kingdoms seemed pretty upset with us.
Rarity: Pfft! Nonsense! I'm certain we can win them over with our charm and style!
Pinkie Pie: [singsongy] Cupcake-gram for Prince Rutherfoooord!
Prince Rutherford: Why pink pony here? Yaks mad at ponies!
Pinkie Pie: Because... you don't have to be mad anymore! We're reopening Twilight Sparkle's School of Friendship! And it's gonna be super-uper-duper better than before! We're—
Rarity: —ever so sorry about the misunderstanding. All creatures are, of course, welcome.
Fluttershy: We would be really happy if you sent your student back to class.
Applejack: It won't be the same without 'em. We're open and ready to start teachin'—
Rainbow Dash: —right now! So, what are you waiting for? Get your student and let's go!
Grampa Gruff: Not happenin'!
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Do you need me to do the whole apology and explanation thing again? Okay. [inhales]
Grampa Gruff: Listen, missy! It's not happenin' because—
Grampa Gruff, Ember, Prince Rutherford, Seaspray, and Thorax: [simultaneously] Our student is gone!
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [simultaneously] What?!
Prince Rutherford: Where Yona?! This all pony's fault!
Ember: You're pretty quick to blame them! What are you hiding, yak?!
Prince Rutherford: [snorts]
Thorax: C-Can... Can we just focus on finding our lost students?
Grampa Gruff: Nice try! You grubs are probably hidin' the whole lot of 'em!
Princess Celestia: Please, everycreature! If you can just explain what happened...
Seaspray: The students left us notes before they disappeared. When the school closed, they didn't want to say goodbye to each other. They claim they ran away to stay together.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe it! They did learn friendship!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
Seaspray: The students couldn't have done this by themselves. Some creature is hiding them! If the niece of our queen is not found soon, I promise there will be retribution!
Ember: Yeah? Well, my dragons will burn every kingdom until we find which of you is hiding Smolder!
Grampa Gruff: Tell it to the griffon army!
Prince Rutherford: Yaks fight griffons and dragons!
Thorax: The Changeling Empire can't afford an international incident. If any creature blames the changelings for this—
Ember: What are you up to, shapeshifter?!
Thorax: B-But we're friends!
Princess Celestia: Find the students quickly, Twilight, or I fear our world will be at war!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Let's review what we know.
Spike: Smolder, Ocellus, Silverstream, Yona, and Gallus disappeared together.
[beat]
Spike: That's all we know.
Applejack: They're probably just off hidin' somewhere.
Starlight Glimmer: Unless they used some kind of spell to disappear.
Rainbow Dash: Ooh! Or went undercover!
Pinkie Pie: Maybe they were attacked by a ferocious shrimp! Nopony ever expects that!
Fluttershy: [gasps] Shrimps can attack?
Pinkie Pie: Nope! That's why nopony expects it.
[door opens, bell rings]
Sandbar: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Sandbar! Are you having a party?
Sandbar: [incredibly nervously] No! I'm just, um... really hungry? Yeah?
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Rarity: We need to think like our students. If someone told us we would never see each other again, what would we do?
Pinkie Pie: Go someplace we could all hang out and eat lots and lots of cupcakes!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What?
Fluttershy: Sandbar was friends with all of the missing students... and he just got plenty of cupcakes.
Applejack: Huh. He was at the farm this mornin' pickin' up a wagonload of apples...
Rarity: And I saw him in a shop buying pillows and blankets!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] He must be taking all that stuff to the other students! We've gotta follow him!
[smack]
Gallus: [laughing] Huh. This place is way cooler than I thought it'd be.
[thud]
Smolder: [chewing] Even I'm impressed. What's it called again, Ocellus?
Ocellus: The Castle of the Two Sisters. I remembered it from class. Princess Twilight's "History of Pre-Equestrian Friendships".
Gallus: Huh. Who knew? School was actually good for something.
Yona: Yona not really like school. But Yona like new friends!
Smolder: [grunts] [strained] Smolder... like breathing!
Silverstream: Hey, you guys! Sandbar's back!
[thump]
[door opens]
Yona: Cupcakes are best cakes!
Sandbar: Aah!
Yona: [panting]
Sandbar: [sighs] Thanks for the assist, Gallus.
Gallus: [scoffs] I was saving the cupcakes. [chewing]
Ocellus: Pillows! How nice! The castle is gonna be so much more comfy.
Smolder: And fun! Pillow fight!
Smolder and Sandbar: [grunting and laughing]
[buzzing]
[thump]
[students laughing]
Silverstream: You guys! I just found stairs!
[beat]
Gallus: Aaaand we care because...?
Silverstream: Stairs are awesome! We don't have anything like 'em underwater, 'cause you know, [magic zap] no way to climb 'em!
Rest of students: Ohhhh.
[magic zap]
Silverstream: This place has everything! If only my family back home could see it...
[thump]
Silverstream: [chewing]
Ocellus: I wish the other changelings could meet you all. You're not nearly as strange as the stories say.
Smolder: Gee, thanks. But yeah, hanging out with other creatures is actually... not bad.
[rustling]
[thump]
Sandbar: Uh, most other creatures. What is that thing?
Ocellus: [sighs] Am I the only one who didn't sleep through Professor Fluttershy's "Critters of Comfort and Conflict" class? It's a puckwudgie. Maybe I can make friends with it!
[changeling zap]
Ocellus: [puckwudgie noises]
[puckwudgie growls]
[more puckwudgies growling]
[changeling zap]
Ocellus: Oops.
Yona: Yak plan better. [screams battlecry]
[needles flying]
[thunk]
[puckwudgie snarling]
[needles flying]
[puckwudgie noises]
[puckwudgie noises]
Smolder: [grunts]
[needles flying]
[flumph]
Smolder: Think, Ocellus! Did Professor Fluttershy say anything about how to beat puckwudgies in her lecture?!
Ocellus: Uh... I'm sorry, I can't remember!
Gallus: I'm gonna go ahead and guess it's not pillows, apples—
[needles flying]
Gallus: ...or cupcakes.
Silverstream: Wouldn't class have been about how to make friends with them?
Sandbar: Uh, guys? They're getting really close...
Yona: Yona not scared! Yona have friends!
[puckwudgies gnashing]
[whoosh]
Gallus: Is that Professor Egghead?!
[magic noises]
Spike: Aw, yeah!
[puckwudgie noises]
Fluttershy: Oh! Don't hurt them! Just ask them to leave nicely.
[thunk]
[fuse burning]
[party cannon fires]
[fireworks exploding]
Yona: Not bad! [quickly] For pony.
Ocellus: Wow! They're amazing!
Gallus: I had no idea our teachers were actually cool.
Sandbar: [chuckles] I've been trying to tell you!
Silverstream: Did you see that?! Rainbow Dash was like voooooom and then werrrrr, and the puckwudgies went flying! And then the birds came and—!
Smolder: Yeah, we all just lived it. But you're right. That was pretty amazing. Even by dragon standards.
[puckwudgie noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Is everycreature alright?
Students: [general agreement]
Spike: [panting] You're lucky we got here in time!
Starlight Glimmer: You know, this probably isn't the safest place for a campout.
Ocellus: Does that mean you're going to send us back to our homes?
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly. We have another option in mind.
Gallus: We're listening.
Twilight Sparkle: It's pretty clear you've already started learning friendship without your teachers. But we'd like to show you even more... if you'd come back to school?
Smolder: Not much of a choice.
Applejack: To be honest, we felt exactly the same way when Twilight told us she was reopening the school.
Rarity: But this time, we guarantee it shall be different.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! With class run my way, it'll be two hundred and twenty percent cooler.
Fluttershy: And without the EEA—
[puckwudgie noise]
Fluttershy: —it'll be much friendlier.
Pinkie Pie: Plus, all your nations won't go to war if you come back with us! Bonus!
[beat]
Sandbar: Wait. What's happening?
[magic noises]
Princess Celestia: Twilight! I was so relieved to get your letter!
Seaspray: As was Queen Novo. Oh, we're just glad you're alright, Silverstream!
Grampa Gruff: [to Gallus] Don't expect a welcome party from me, sonny! It's time you got home!
[smack]
Gallus: I'm not leaving.
Grampa Gruff: Whaaaat?!
Ocellus: None of us are. Sorry, Thorax.
Prince Rutherford: Yak not understand. This pony joke?
Smolder: No. We're going back to school.
Ember: How? You can't even get inside!
[magic noises]
[chains shattering]
Twilight Sparkle: School is back in session!
Students: [cheering]
[magic warbling]
Neighsay: Who dared remove my seal?
Twilight Sparkle: I did, Chancellor Neighsay! And I respectfully ask you to step aside, or classes will start late.
Neighsay: Classes won't start at all! The EEA has spoken, and none shall pass!
[boom!]
Yona: Yak pass if yak say! Hmph!
Neighsay: This is for the greater good. The school was disorganized, the teachers unqualified! And those dangerous and unpredictable "students" put ponies' lives in danger!
Prince Rutherford: [growls]
Ember: [growls] I'll show you unpredictable!
Grampa Gruff, Ember, Prince Rutherford, Seaspray, and Thorax: [shouting]
Princess Celestia: Hold on, please! I'm sure Princess Twilight Sparkle has a good explanation for all of this.
Twilight Sparkle: I do! It's true that my School of Friendship is EEA-unaccredited...
Spike: Look! She said it without doing the eye thing!
Neighsay: Then it is not a school!
Twilight Sparkle: It's not an EEA school. It's a friendship school with its own rules. I should know. I wrote the book!
[thump]
Twilight Sparkle: These students reminded me that every friendship is special, so the way we teach it has to be just as unique. My school is going to do things differently.
Neighsay: Allowing all of these creatures to attend your school, changing the rules for them – it simply won't work!
Princess Celestia: I seem to recall something about Earth ponies, unicorns, and Pegasi doing something similar, don't you?
Twilight Sparkle: I promise you, Chancellor. My school will help protect Equestria.
Neighsay: Or destroy it!
[magic noise]
[students cheering]
Grampa Gruff: Hmph. How is this school going to be any different from last time?
[Twilight Sparkle]
This brand new school of friendship
Is home to everyone
[Ocellus]
We're learning how to trust
[Gallus]
We're here to all have fun
[Rarity]
With friendship ties that bind us
[Applejack]
Tighter than the strongest bonds
[Fluttershy]
We're hoof-in-hoof
[All]
In hand in hoof in wing or even claw
[Twilight Sparkle]
There's a griffon in the garden
[Rainbow Dash]
Hippogriffs hang in the hall
[Spike]
And the door will be open
To all creatures great and small
[Pinkie Pie]
And a yak or two or three
[Yaks]
Sing in perfect harmony
[Starlight Glimmer]
That might have been a changeling
[Fluttershy]
But it kind of looks like me
[All]
This school of friendship is for all of us
A place where we belong
Where we all learn to share and trust
The only rule here is to find your way
And friendship always wins at the end of the day
[Twilight Sparkle]
Some things you just can't teach with books
Some things you only know
So trust your heart and let us lead
And your friendship's sure to grow
[Students]
And once we master kindness
We will spread it 'cross this land
[All]
And give the gift that's ours to share
So others understand
This school of friendship is for all of us
A place where we belong
Where we all learn to share and trust
The only rule here is to find your way
And friendship always wins at the end of the day!
Ember: Ugh, fine! If you promise to stop singing, Smolder can stay!
Smolder: Wahoo!
Prince Rutherford: Uh, if dragon stay, yak stay.
Thorax: I know you will make the changelings proud, Ocellus.
Seaspray: You belong here. Now, can you show me those stair things you mentioned?
Silverstream: [incoherent excited noises]
Grampa Gruff: [to Gallus] What? You belong at home! You think I care if you've made friends?
Gallus: Please, Grandpa Gruff? [whimpers]
Grampa Gruff: Alright, alright! Stop doing that!
[students cheering]
Starlight Glimmer: Guess I make a pretty good guidance counselor, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Writing the rulebook was the most fun ever! I can't wait to start working on the new lesson plans!
Applejack: [clears throat]
Twilight Sparkle: ...with some help from my friends.
[credits]

The Maud Couple

Meadow Song: Puh-leeeez put your hooves together for your next performer, Maud Pie!
[applause]
Maud Pie: [taps on microphone] [deadpan] What do you call an Alicorn with no wings and no horn?
[beat]
Maud Pie: Earth pony.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] But seriously, being an Earth pony isn't so bad. We've got magic powers, too. Like walking around and picking stuff up with our teeth.
[confused murmuring]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] That's sarcasm, by the way.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] It's funny, 'cause it's true!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] My favorite thing to listen to is clastic rock – the accumulation of sediments over millennia forming to create sandstone, shale, and breccia. It sounds something like this.
[feedback]
[beat]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] And that's my time.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Isn't my sister Maud the most hilarious, entertaining, amazing comedian ever?
[beat, ponies burst into uproarious laughter]
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: Your jokes, your hilarious delivery, your... your everything!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] How was my... timing?
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] You got me! C'mon, let's celebrate sister-style. We can get matching stickers that says "Eyes on the Pies", then show them off at the Ponyville Sticker Convention that I could plan for tomorrow if you want.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Actually, I'm busy tonight.
Pinkie Pie: Aww, that's what you said yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before the day before that. [sighs] It's just, we haven't hung out in a really long time because you always have other plans. Even when you promised to build whipped-cream pyramids with me.
[spraying]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I know. I am sorry, Pinkie. The reason is I have a—
Pinkie Pie: Apology accepted, as long as we get some serious sister time before your birthday. And there's, uh, definitely no reason I wanna hang out before your birthday. Just, you know, not planning anything special.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Okay.
Pinkie Pie: What about tomorrow morning?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Yay! Just you and me. Best sister friends forever!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Best sister friends forever.
Pinkie Pie: I can't wait for tomorrow to be today. [extended squeal]
Pinkie Pie: [continues squealing] Tomorrow is today! Who's ready for some fun times at Sugarcube Corner? The answer is "you"! I would also accept "Maud". Maud? Maud!
[echoes]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Oh, I get it! We're playing hide-and-go-seek!
[music]
[barrel clattering]
[splashing]
[zoom]
[thud]
[knock, knock, knock, knock]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Aha! Found you!
[crash]
[clattering]
Pinkie Pie: Where's Maud? I've already tried Discord's dimension, Granny Smith's wax museum, and Yakyakistan! She has to be here!
Starlight Glimmer: Nope, it's just me. Reading.
[pages flipping]
Pinkie Pie: Story checks out. Or does it?! It does. But are you sure there's nopony hiding... in your closet?!
Starlight Glimmer: Pinkie, I don't have a closet. Is everything okay?
Pinkie Pie: No. I was supposed to go birthday cake shopping with Maud today.
Starlight Glimmer: And ruin her surprise party?
Pinkie Pie: I wasn't gonna tell her why, silly. But now I can't even find Maud. I'm usually way better at hide-and-seek than this.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, she probably just found a new rock formation and forgot you two were gonna hang out. Tell ya what. You take care of the cake, and I'll look for Maud.
Pinkie Pie: Really? Thanks, Starlight!
[flowerpot clattering]
Pinkie Pie: Just checking.
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] I've gotta get very important ingredients for a very important pony's cake. And it's gotta be tippy-top super-duper secret.
Mudbriar: Technically, it's not your turn yet.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to cut in front of anypony.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Um, whatcha doin'?
Mudbriar: I am currently speaking to a pony at a baking supply shop two minutes before it closes for lunch.
Pinkie Pie: Rrrrrright. Okay. Just that I'm trying to plan a party here, and the clock is ticking, while you, uh... What are you doing anyway?
Mudbriar: I am currently speaking to a—
Pinkie Pie: I mean, can I help you move this along? What are you looking for? Rolling pins, cupcake tins, cookie cutters with tails and fins?
Mudbriar: [to S06E12 Unnamed Unicorn Mare #3] Goodbye.
Pinkie Pie: That's what you've been standing here all this time to say?
Mudbriar: I was deciding between "goodbye" and "see you later".
Pinkie Pie: Uh... but, they're the same thing.
Mudbriar: Technically, they're very different. "See you later" implies an event in the near future wherein we see each other. "Goodbye" expresses good wishes where parting or at the end of a conversation.
Pinkie Pie: Yyyyyeah, same thing.
Mudbriar: I will not apologize for speaking with precision.
Pinkie Pie: In that case, apology not accepted. Goodbye, later, see ya—same thing!
[door slams]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Can you believe that guy?! Huh? "Out to Lunch"?! Oh, come on!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [groans] No Maud, no cake, no anything! And how annoying was that pony? Who takes so long to say goodbye? Or was it "see ya later"? Ugh! Now he's got me doing it!
[bump]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Hello, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Maud! Found you! My turn to hide! Hee-hee!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm sorry I wasn't around this morning.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, pssh. What are you apologizing to me for? I'm not upset, you silly-willy.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] The reason is I met somepony—
Pinkie Pie: Wanna hang out right now? I mean, I can see you're not doing anything with anypony else. Unless they're invisible or reeeeeaaaally small.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie, the reason I've been so busy is that I have a boyfriend now.
Pinkie Pie: A wha...?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] A boyfriend.
Pinkie Pie: A whaaa...?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] A boyfriend.
Pinkie Pie: A whaaaaa...?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] A boyfriend.
Pinkie Pie: That's so exciting! My sister, in love!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Technically, we're in "like".
Pinkie Pie: Tell me everything! Who is he? What's his favorite color? Does he like ice cream? If he were a bird, what kind of bird would he be? Wait. Is he actually a bird? Oh! I don't know, because you haven't told me anything yet!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You'll like him. We have a lot in common.
Pinkie Pie: Well, I love you, so I know I'm gonna love your boyfriend! Oh, I can't wait to meet him!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You don't have to.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] He's a rock! And you love rocks, so it's perfect! [gasps] Is Boulder jealous?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No. Behind the rock. Mudbriar, are you back there?
Mudbriar: Technically, not anymore.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] A wha-whaaaaaaaaa?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie Pie, meet Mudbriar.
Mudbriar: Technically, we've already met.
Pinkie Pie: You?!
Mudbriar: M'yes.
Pinkie Pie: You?
Mudbriar: M'yes.
Pinkie Pie: You...
Mudbriar: M'yes.
Pinkie Pie: I mean, [laughs] you! You, you, you!
Mudbriar: M'yes. M'yes. M'yes.
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry. Let's start over. Hi, I'm Maud's sister, Pinkie Pie.
Mudbriar: I know.
Pinkie Pie: Sooooo... how did... you two meet?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] At a rock show.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! You're into rocks, too?
Mudbriar: No. I like sticks.
Pinkie Pie: Then why were you at a rock show?
Mudbriar: It was a petrified wood show, which technically makes it a stick show.
Maud Pie: [deadpanly happy] Except that in the per-mineralization process of petrification, all organic material is replaced with silicates – i.e., rocks.
Mudbriar: While retaining the original structural elements of wood – q.e.d., it was a stick show.
Pinkie Pie: I'm... really into sticks, too! They're great for hitting piñatas! Haaaaa...
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie...
Pinkie Pie: Oh! You wanna go first?
Mudbriar: That is stick abuse.
Pinkie Pie: It is? I'm sorry. Oh, this is awful. I'm not being a very good sister. Let's start over. I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you!
Mudbriar: Technically, we've already met.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You should introduce Pinkie to your pet.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Your pet likes fetch!
Mudbriar: This is my pet. So no.
Maud Pie: [deadpanly happy] Aw. Look at Twiggy and Boulder playing together.
Mudbriar: They're adorable.
Pinkie Pie: [whispering, to Maud] It's just a stick.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Don't be rude.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. One more time. [through gritted teeth] I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you!
Mudbriar: Technically, we've already met.
Pinkie Pie: [growls, snort]
Pinkie Pie: [straining] Daaah! I don't get this guy!
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Maud has a boyfriend?
Pinkie Pie: [groans] How could she like someone so weird? He has an inanimate object for a pet!
Starlight Glimmer: So does Maud.
Pinkie Pie: Boulder has ten times the personality of some random stick! Mudbriar, too, for that matter. He's not like Maud at all! Maud is hilarious, friendly, caring, and easy to talk to!
Starlight Glimmer: Yep, that's Maud.
Pinkie Pie: But this guy is awkward, quiet, and kind of... strange.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, that also sounds like Maud.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] You're so funny, Starlight! Maud is nothing like Mudbriar. If she were, then we wouldn't be best sister friends forever.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, Maud obviously likes something about him.
Pinkie Pie: [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe you just need to spend more time with him. Find out what you have in common.
Pinkie Pie: That's easy – nothing!
Starlight Glimmer: You both care about Maud. I know. He could help you with her party.
Pinkie Pie: I guess...
Starlight Glimmer: And I'll keep Maud busy while you and Mudbriar plan the best surprise birthday ever.
Pinkie Pie: That I can do!
Pinkie Pie: Listen. Maud's birthday is tomorrow, and there's no time to waste. You're not afraid of slides, are you?
Mudbriar: No. Whyyyyyyyyyyy??!
[crash]
Mudbriar: Oof!
Pinkie Pie: No reason. Wheeeeeee!
[crash]
Mudbriar: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to my party planning cave!
Mudbriar: Technically, due to the speleothems growing from the ceiling, this is more of a cavern than a cave. Maud taught me that.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, okay.
[squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: Here's what I'm thinking for her surprise party – edible rock candy plates, gem-shaped ice cubes, a pebble piñata. Uh... we'll skip that one.
Mudbriar: Might I make some suggestions?
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Suggest away! That's why you're here! You and me! Planning... together! Friends!
Mudbriar: I have a vision board of everything Maud loves, and none of those things are on it.
Pinkie Pie: Hmph. Let me see this "vision board".
Mudbriar: It's not a physical thing. I'm envisioning it. [quietly] Om, I enter through the large door of my mind palace and enter to the back, where I have all of my books and possessions, and what do I encounter? The Maud Room. None of those things are there. [out loud] Just as I thought. Maud doesn't like surprises.
Pinkie Pie: Where does it say that? She never told me that!
Mudbriar: Mmm. It sounds like she was protecting your feelings. She's very caring that way.
Pinkie Pie: Stop acting like you know my sister better than me!
Mudbriar: Technically, I never said that.
Pinkie Pie: [angrily] Well, technically, I don't care! And since I've been best sister friends forever with Maud my entire life, I think I'm the expert here! Oh, but fine. If you don't believe me, let's ask her! [whispering] But we have to be super-sneaky.
Mudbriar: Can you be more specific?
Pinkie Pie: No!
Starlight Glimmer: Huh. You must be Mudbriar.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm Starlight Glimmer. Nice to meet you. I've heard great things!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm so glad the two of you are spending time together. So... how's it going?
Pinkie Pie: Mudbriar and I have just spent the best time bonding! And we're really starting to make some headway becoming besties, except for one teensy-weensy disagreement that maybe you could settle, Maud. See, Mudbriar here seems to think that [starting to laugh] you don't like surprise parties! Isn't it funny how [suddenly angry] wrong he is?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I like surprise parties...
Pinkie Pie: Hmmmm.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] ...because I know they make you happy when you throw them for me.
Pinkie Pie: See? Wait, what?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'd rather just do something small with you, Starlight, Boulder, and Mudbriar for my birthday.
Pinkie Pie: No party? No party?! Did he put you up to this?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Mm-mm.
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Maybe you should consider, I don't know, taking things a little less serious with Mudbriar because he's kinda sort of... [loudly] impossible to like?!
Starlight Glimmer: Hey, Mudbriar, have you ever flown a kite? Let me tell you all about it. See, the first thing you should do is—
Pinkie Pie: I just can't believe you would choose sitting around with him over a party with your own sister!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I didn't choose either of you. Technically, I said I wanted to be with both of you.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] "Technically"?! Ugh, you even like the way he talks?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Everything about him makes me happy.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] [tearing up] Then I guess you don't need a best sister friend forever anymore.
Maud Pie: [deadpanly concerned] Pinkie...
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, wait, let's all slow down and talk about this.
Pinkie Pie: No! [crying]
Mudbriar: See you later!
Pinkie Pie: [crying] I don't understand! How could Maud like Mudbriar? Is it Opposite Day? Nothing makes sense!
Fluttershy's apparition: I'm not shy, and I hate animals!
Rarity's apparition: Fashion?! Not for me, darling!
Applejack's apparition: Peh! An apple a day is downright disgusting!
Rainbow Dash's apparition: Slow and steady wins the race!
Twilight Sparkle's apparition: I never learned to read!
Mane five's apparitions: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: What if I don't like cupcakes?! [screams]
[rooster crows]
Pinkie Pie: Good morning! Oh, wait. Bad morning. [groans]
[door opens]
Limestone Pie: Get out of bed, sis. If you're gonna be here, you gotta work.
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh.
[pickaxe clinking]
Pinkie Pie: You're probably wondering why I came back to the family farm in the middle of the night.
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm.
Pinkie Pie: Well, it all started when—
Limestone Pie: Less talking, more farming!
Pinkie Pie: [sad groan] It's just... Maud has a boyfriend.
Limestone Pie: I'm not jealous! Who said anything about jealous?!
Pinkie Pie: Don't be! He's super-duper weird! And somehow, he tricked Maud into liking him. And now I'll never get to see her again! [sighs] I came home because you two know her better than anypony. What am I missing? What does she see in him? [tearing up] What does he have that I don't?! [starts bawling]
Limestone Pie: Buck up, Pinkie Pie. You look as miserable as I feel all the time.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs]
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: It's just that I love Maud, and I want to love Mudbriar, but I can't see anything to like about him!
[beat]
Limestone Pie: Ugh, fine! We're taking a work break. Come on!
Limestone Pie: I'm looking at a sparkling bright blue and white rock. See it?
Pinkie Pie: You mean that lumpy grey one?
Limestone Pie: No, the beautiful blue and white one. Right there.
Pinkie Pie: I would not describe that as beautiful, blue, or white, but... [laughs nervously] Okay.
Limestone Pie: [to Marble] Show her.
[rock cracks]
[glistening]
Limestone Pie: It's a geode! The outside looks like a regular rock, but the inside is filled with beautiful gems.
Pinkie Pie: So you're saying I should crack open Mudbriar like a rock! It all makes sense! No, wait. It doesn't.
Limestone Pie: It's a metaphor, Pinkie! You see Mudbriar as a rock, but Maud sees him as a gem. Even if you never see past his dullness, you can see how happy he makes Maud. And to a sister, that's all that matters.
Marble Pie: Mm-hmm!
[rock clinks]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Limestone, Marble, thank you! I don't know what I'd do without you two! Pie pile!
[thud]
Limestone Pie: Okay, okay! You're crushing me to gravel, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: I really owe Mudbriar an apology. [gasps] And I owe Maud a party! I just hope I'm not too late!
[paper rustling]
[whirring hooves]
Pinkie Pie: I brought you an olive branch to say sorry. I was really unfair to you, and I'm ready to listen to your ideas for Maud's birthday, if you still want to plan it together.
Mudbriar: Technically, this isn't even an olive branch. It's a quercus, most likely castaneifolia.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, come on! [through gritted teeth] Sorry! Keeping it together...!
Mudbriar: And I love a good quercus. Friends?
Pinkie Pie: Friends! Now, do you have any ideas for the party?
Mudbriar: There is one.
[music]
[ponies chattering]
[door opens]
Crowd: Surprise!
[indistinct talking]
Background pony 1: Can you believe this punch? Oh, it's so good!
Background pony 2: Another great party!
Background pony 3: I know!
Background pony 4: Yeah!
Maud Pie: [deadpanly happy] This is my favorite party ever.
Pinkie Pie: It was all your amazing boyfriend's idea. He said the best present would be me throwing you a surprise party you didn't have to go to.
Mudbriar: Technically, it wasn't a surprise because she could see the pre-party preparations from up here.
Pinkie Pie: [through gritted teeth] Technically... [normally] You're right!
[credits]

Fake It 'Til You Make It

[birds chirping]
[ducks quacking]
Angel: [growls]
Fluttershy: Don't worry, Angel, I won't forget you.
Angel: [munching]
Fluttershy: [sighs] There's nothing so peaceful as a cuddly friends picnic.
Rarity: Fluttershy!
[zip!]
Rarity: [panting]
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness, Rarity! What's the matter?
[screech]
Rarity: Oh, the better question would be, "What isn't the matter?"
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. Do you wanna have some lettuce and talk about it?
Rarity: Uh... Oh! I would love to, darling, but I just don't have the time. The Canterlot Royal Fashion Show is practically upon us, and the cornerstone piece of my collection just isn't working!
Fluttershy: Oh, that sounds serious.
Rarity: Oh-ho-ho, it's serious. The entire collection is designed around it!
Fluttershy: Do you need help knitting? I've started making tea cozies. It's an elephant.
[fabric ripping]
Rarity: Yes, well, I don't need help making clothes. Sassy Saddles is pitching in. Plus, I'll be pulling all three of my Manehattan assistants.
Fluttershy: All three? Does that mean you'll have to close Rarity For You?
Rarity: That's just it, darling. This is Manehattan's busiest shopping season, and I can't just close the shop. So I was hoping... you might consider running it?
Fluttershy: Of course. I'm happy to help. Though I'm surprised you picked me.
Rarity: Well, I may have asked a few others.
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, but we've got a Wonderbolts show coming up.
[zoom!]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry, but it's pie season and the pie orders are piling up.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, I've got a curriculum to make up.
Applejack: Nope.
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
[record scratches]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] My calendar's packed, but I hear Fluttershy's free. And you haven't asked Boulder.
Rarity: Uh... Oh?
Rarity: [chuckles] It doesn't matter who else I asked, because I couldn't be happier that you agreed to help!
[theme song]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: I think I forgot how big this shop was. How do you find anything?
Rarity: Oh, darling, it's easy to track. The store is divided into sections – chic, classic, modern, sophisticated, avant-garde, traditional, and obtuse. And, of course, each section is divided by season, color, and price. It's a classic SCP system. Then it's just a little ringing ponies up...
[cash register keys clacking]
[ka-ching!]
Rarity: ...a little fluff and fold... Voilà! But, of course, that's the easy part.
Fluttershy: [gasps] It is?
Rarity: Mm-hmm. As you well know, the real focus at Rarity For You is on the customer!
[door opens, closes]
Rarity: Care to give it a try?
Fluttershy: Um, okay. [quietly] Hello. Um, welcome to Rarity For You. What can I help you with?
Pursey Pink: I need something classic but modern. Something with drama but also understated.
Fluttershy: Um, aren't all those things opposites?
Pursey Pink: Yes. So?
Fluttershy: But how can I—?
Pursey Pink: I'm sorry. Are you asking me how to do your job?
Fluttershy: No! But I just, um—
Rarity: If I may, I'm thinking noir-esque minimalist but with a twist. Perhaps a tapered hem.
[dramatic music]
Pursey Pink: [gasps] It's like you read my mind! Are you a fashion psychic? [laughs]
Rarity: Hmm. The inseams say, "Yes!"
Rarity and Pursey Pink: [laugh]
[ka-ching!]
Fluttershy: Wow. You make it look so easy.
Rarity: Oh, darling, come now. You've conquered your shyness a thousand times over. You can't let a few fashion ponies undo all that progress.
Fluttershy: I guess not.
Rarity: You simply must access your inner strength and allow it to shine through!
Fluttershy: How?
Rarity: Uh, daily affirmations? Meditation? Ooh! Power posing works wonders whenever I feel intimidated. Try these. Confident warrior! Gold medalist! Showpony!
[creaking]
[thud]
Rarity: [clears throat] Or... not.
Blue Bobbin: We need to leave now if we're going to catch the train to Canterlot.
Rarity: Oh, goodness, look at the time! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, go, go! I'm right behind you!
Fluttershy: You're not gonna be here? In your work room?
Rarity: But, darling, I simply can't. The fashion show is in Canterlot tomorrow, and I'll be up all night, even with the help of all of my assistants!
Fluttershy: [gulps]
Rarity: Well, not all my assistants.
Fluttershy: Smoky! Softpad! Smoky Jr.!
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Oh! [giggles]
Rarity: Ever since you convinced me to let them live in the shop, these beastie sweeties have been nothing but helpful.
Fluttershy: And I'm sure they'll help me let my inner strength shine through!
[raccoons chittering]
Rarity: Oh, I wish I could stay and offer more help. [gasps] Why not try a new outfit? Think of it as the costume for your role as... Shop Pony! Ha ha! You know what they say – "clothes make the pony".
Fluttershy: Um, who says that?
Rarity: You know, "them". All right. I'm sure you and your furry friends will do just fine. Ta-ta!
[door opens, closes]
Fluttershy: [sighs] I hope she's right.
[door opens, closes]
Fluttershy: Whew. Here goes nothing.
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Welcome to Rarity For You. What can I help you with?
Bracer Britches: What's the thread count of this shirt? I can't be seen in anything less than a thousand.
Fluttershy: Um, thread... count? Um... Well, I'm not sure. Let's see... Um, one, two, three, four...
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me for just one second. [pants]
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm afraid I don't know much about fashion to satisfy these customers. What am I gonna do?
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: Oh, I've never tried to act before, but... I suppose it's worth a shot.
Fluttershy: [clears throat, snooty voice] Severe but not unapproachable. Acceptable business attire. [normal voice] Oh, does that sound like a shop pony to you?
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] So sorry for the wait. The shop has some... staffing issues today.
Bracer Britches: Yes, well, I still haven't had an answer on this thread count.
Fluttershy: Here at Rarity For You, our merchandise defies typical attempts to quantify its quality, but rest assured, it will make you the envy of all who see it.
Bracer Britches: Oh, in that case, I'll take three!
[ka-ching!]
Fluttershy: Ta-ta!
[door opens, closes]
Fluttershy: [normal voice, sighs, faints, pants, sighs] Smoky Jr., I can't believe it worked! [snooty voice] I suppose clothes really do make the pony after all.
Luckette: I don't know about you, but I have a full day of shopping planned. And if even one shop pony isn't up to my standards, well, I shall make my displeasure quite plain.
Strawberry Ice: Oh, you are wicked! [laughing]
Rarity: Canterlot fashion show or no, I simply can't leave Fluttershy to fend for herself with these Manehattanites. [panting]
Bracer Britches: Rarity?
[screech]
Rarity: Oh, darling, I'm afraid I can't stop. Potential emergency at the boutique.
Bracer Britches: Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm quite certain the pony you left in charge can handle it. Oh, she's simply divine!
Rarity: Oh, well, I always knew Fluttershy had it in her. [laughs] And there's still time to catch the train to Canterlot!
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] It's an unique play on the old standard. We call it a Rarity cut with a triple-cut stitched hem and a guacamole chevka pattern fabric.
Silver Berry: Don't you mean "chevron"?
Fluttershy: If I had meant "chevron", then that's what I would've said.
Silver Berry: [chuckles] Of course. It's so unique! So en vogue! It must be mine!
[ka-ching!]
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: [normal voice] Aw, thanks, everyone. But I feel I should push the snootiness further.
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: If you really wanna help, I suppose serving tea would be nice. Oh, if you don't mind.
[tea pouring]
Old Money: I like my accessories bold and shiny, and I'm just not seeing anything nearly bold and shiny enough.
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] I'm afraid bold and shiny won't work with your whole... modelle. Perhaps... pointy.
Old Money: Pointy? Yes! I must have pointy!
Fluttershy: Not everypony can pull off a found object, but you... nearly get there.
[ka-ching!]
Valley Trend: [millennial accent] I need, like, a red carpet glitz-and-glamour gown that's also casual, but, like, still artsy and a total head-turner.
Fluttershy: Yes. Casual chic prêt-à-porter is very branché this season.
Valley Trend: Uhhh... Like, I don't understand any of that, so, like... I don't care about it?
Fluttershy: Um, one moment, please.
[zip!]
[raccoons chitter]
Fluttershy: [normal voice] Oh, I think I need a new character.
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] Okay, I've got, like, this high-key savage look for you? It's a totally live ensemble with a little, like, thingies that sparkle and make the whole squad go, "Whoa! That pony is 'woke'!"
Valley Trend: That is, like, exactly what I need!
[raccoons chitter]
"Snow Hope": This store is a desperate wasteland of nothingness. Do you have anything in black?
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] Can you, like, chill for one sec? BRB.
[zip!]
Fluttershy: [goth voice] It's not like the futility of shopping can be made better with black leather and metal studs, but they help.
"Snow Hope": Uh.... that jacket completes me.
Joan Pommelway: [spits] [British accent] This tea's, like, lukewarm. It's barely drinkable.
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] This tea must always be at a precise temperature! See that it doesn't happen again!
[raccoon chitter sadly]
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] Whoa, that color is, like, almost too lit for you? [goth voice] The blackness of this vest is a reflection of your soul. [snooty voice] This hemline is nothing short of an inspiration of craftsponyship. Are you sure you deserve it?
[music]
[hoof pounding]
[raccoons chittering]
[slow motion sounds]
[splash]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Mare E. Lynn: [screaming]
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] I don't know what's worse – that you spilled the tea or that it's still cold! Either get it right or go back to the forest!
[racoons chittering angrily]
[dishes clatter]
Fluttershy: Oh, it is so hard to find good help these days.
[raccoons chittering]
Spike: Okay! Okay! Slow down, everyone! I'm doing my best!
[raccoons chittering]
Spike: So, Rarity is busy at an important fashion show, and Fluttershy is running her shop in Manehattan, but to do it, she's playing different shop pony characters that are all mean?
[raccoons chittering happily]
Twilight Sparkle: How in the world did you figure that out, Spike?
Spike: I'm not Dragon Charades champion for nothin'!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't imagine Fluttershy would ever be mean to her animal friends. This sounds serious. Spike, tell everyone it's time to head back to Saddle Row!
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] I wouldn't think it was possible to make something so dowdy even more matronly, but here you are. [goth voice] It's like a scream in the void, empty and ultimately meaningless. [hipster voice] I would srsly help you right now, but, like, I don't wanna, you know?
[raccoons chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: You weren't kidding. This is worse than we thought! She's being horrible to everypony!
Applejack: Uh, are you sure that's even Fluttershy?
Pinkie Pie: Maybe it's just three really, really fast ponies that really, really look like her!
Rainbow Dash: Well, let's find out! Hey, Fluttershy? Are you running the shop or performing in a one-pony show?
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] If you don't mind, I can only improve the taste of one customer at a time. You'll have to wait your turn. Ugh, honestly! These small town ponies come to the big city and think they can behave any way they please!
Rainbow Dash: What?! You are a small-town pony! And your cottage isn't even in the town!
Applejack: Look, Fluttershy, we came here because we were worried and we care about you.
Fluttershy: [goth voice, to Neigh Sayer] Let's get out of this aura of positivity before it consumes us.
Pinkie Pie: As fun as this Fluttershy switcheroo game is, Smoky, Smoky Jr., and Softpad are really concerned.
Spike: Yeah! They came all the way to Ponyville to get us.
[raccoons chittering]
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] They should have, like, stayed there? The shop is, like, a no-rodent zone now.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike: [gasps]
[raccoons gasping]
Pinkie Pie: She called them "rodents"?!
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, I understand why you think you have to act this way for these customers, but there's gotta be a better way.
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] [sarcastically] Goodness! You are so right. Please, step this way so that we may discuss your concerns.
Twilight Sparkle: I knew you'd come to your senses!
[door slams]
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] Indeed.
[crowd muttering]
Rarity: Ugh, the centerpiece of my collection, and it's still not right! Oh, darling, I'm afraid we've literally run out of time. It's up to you! Go out there and sell it! Now, attitude!
[ponies cheering, cameras clicking]
Rarity: I don't understand. When I left Fluttershy, she had everything well in hoof.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, things might have seemed all right when you left, but they're definitely not all right now.
Applejack: She's actin' worse than the worst Manehattanite I ever saw!
Rainbow Dash: She kicked us out of the shop!
Pinkie Pie: She called Smoky, Smoky Jr., and Softpad... "rodents"!
Rarity: Wh-wh-wha... Rodents?! Well, why didn't you say that from the start?! She obviously needs help! Come on!
Fluttershy: [goth voice] Your melancholy is way too shallow for a look with this much unfeeling depth.
"Snow Hope": Huh.
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] Ugh! Your style isn't even on the same page? Turn away. Don't even look at it, okay?
Valley Trend: [gasps] I can't even!
[magic noises]
[hooks sliding]
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] I think not, dear! This is all far too fashion forward for the likes of you!
Bracer Britches: Ugh! Well, I never!
[door opens]
[door slams]
Applejack: [sighs] Told ya it was bad.
Rarity: Bad? This is worse than I could've possibly imagined!
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] Rarity! I'm so glad you're here! [kissing noises] Finally, a pony who understands that the couture in this shop is far too brilliant to even consider selling!
Rarity: Whaaat?!
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] You, like, totally get how lame customers are? Ugh! [goth voice] Watching them leave filled me with a sweet sadness. [snooty voice] And you'll be pleased to hear that I've taken care of your rodent situation.
[raccoons chittering]
Pinkie Pie: Will somebody tell her to stop saying that?!
Rarity: That's it! Fluttershy, I'm afraid you've left me no choice! You are terminated!
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] Well! Good luck replacing me! Humph!
Rarity: [sighs] Well, thankfully I— [shrieks]
Fluttershy: [goth voice] I always thought she was too controlling.
Rarity: You— you— you are terminated, too!
Fluttershy: [goth voice] Whatever.
Rarity: Now, I— [shrieks]
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] I know, right? I mean, uh, ugh?
Rarity: Actually, you're, like, totally terminated as well!
Fluttershy: [hipster voice] Like, okay.
Rarity: [sighs] Well, I'm glad that's over— [shrieks]
Fluttershy: [normal voice] I guess I owe everypony an apology.
Rarity: [sighs] You think?
Fluttershy: I got so caught up trying to please all of your customers that—
Rainbow Dash: What customers?
Fluttershy: I might have taken my salespony characters a little too far.
[pumping]
Fluttershy: [to raccoons] I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. You know I was only pretending, right?
[raccoons chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: But, Fluttershy, why did you think you needed to be somepony else to run the shop?
Fluttershy: I guess acting like the ponies of Saddle Row gave me the confidence to interact with them.
Rarity: Darling, I'd never trust some horrible Saddle Row pony to run my shop. That's why I wanted a friend to do it.
Fluttershy: Well, I'd definitely rather be myself anyway, even if I don't exactly have what it takes to be a shop pony.
Twilight Sparkle: I wouldn't sell yourself short. Those salespony characters all came from you!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! I think you totally have what it takes.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe a little too much.
Rarity: Indeed. You have all the inner strength you need, but I think we prefer it coming from our sweet, regular Fluttershy.
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Rarity: And that's just given me the inspiration I'm looking for!
Rarity: And last one... There! The missing piece for my new collection – the Warrior of Inner Strength!
[mane cast and ponies cheering and applauding]
[raccoons chittering]
Pony: Oh, gorgeous!
Fluttershy: Oh, it's lovely, Rarity! I'm just sorry you had to leave the Canterlot Royal Fashion Show early.
Rarity: Oh, darling, making the perfect dress is scads more satisfying than showing it off.
[customers chattering]
Blueberry Curls: Ooh, striking dress, Rarity. I certainly hope you aren't trying to undercut the Royal Fashion Show by ducking out and debuting it here.
Rarity: What? No, I—
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] Have you considered the possibility that the Royal Fashion Show is trying to undercut Rarity's by continuing on in Canterlot and not moving the whole affair here?! Hmm?! Have you?! Hmmm?!
Blueberry Curls: I, uh... No.
Fluttershy: [snooty voice] Hmph! Just as I thought! Hmmm!
[beat]
Fluttershy: [to Rarity] Oh! [giggles] Inner strength.
Fluttershy and Rarity: [laughing]
[credits]

Grannies Gone Wild

Soarin: I'm sooo glad I made it to Las Pegasus before the fastest, most thrilling ride of all time closes for good!
Rainbow Dash: Wait. The fastest, most thrilling ride of all time?
Misty Fly: [gasps] She hasn't heard of the Wild Blue Yonder?
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Of course I have! It's that one where, uh... All right, you got me. What is it?
Soarin: Only the coolest rollercoaster ever!
Misty Fly: [scoffs] You can't really call yourself a Wonderbolt if you haven't been on it.
Rainbow Dash: It looks incredible!
Soarin: Oh, it is. First, you strap yourself into the cloud rocket car, and then you're catapulted straight through a...
Rainbow Dash: ...series of daring dips and terrifying turns...
Rainbow Dash: ...flipping upside-down so many times you don't know which way is up!
Rainbow Dash: 'Til finally you climb to the highest peak on the rails! Then drop towards the ground at lightning speed...
Rainbow Dash: ...before coming up to a screeching halt! It's the coolest ride ever to exist in the history of Equestria!
Applejack: So, when did you ride it?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. [laughs] I haven't.
Applejack: [sighs]
[theme song]
Applejack: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: The ride closes this week! Forever! But I can't go to Las Pegasus because I have to teach at Twilight's school. I'm gonna miss out on the coolest rollercoaster of all time! Unless...
Applejack: Why do I feel like you're about to ask me a mighty big favor?
Rainbow Dash: Can you cover my classes? [whimper]
Applejack: Absolutely!
Rainbow Dash: Really? Awesome! [whoosh, grunts]
Applejack: On one condition. You tag along with a few other ponies goin' to Las Pegasus.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Surely you don't mean Granny Smith!
Applejack: No, no, of course not. I mean Granny Smith and the rest of the Gold Horseshoe Gals.
Granny Smith: Hurry your haunches, hinnies!
Applejack: Grand Auntie Applesauce, cousin Apple Rose, and cousin Goldie Delicious.
[cat meows]
Applejack: Why, I'm sure they'd be plumb tickled to have you join their annual grandmares' trip to Las Pegasus. It'll be perfect. I'll teach your classes, and you can look after them for me.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Look after them?
Applejack: So they don't get too carried away. Usually Big Mac goes along as a chaperone, but I'm sure he'd love a break.
[drag, snap, meow]
Rainbow Dash: There is no way I'm going to Las Pegasus with a bunch of old, slow grannies!
Applejack: So you don't mind missin' your only chance to ride the Wild Blue Yonder?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine! I'll go!
Applejack: Ha! That's the spirit! Now skedaddle so I can help them get ready.
Granny Smith: Applejack! Have you seen my cranky flank cream? I can't find it in this whole tootin' farmhouse.
Applejack: It's, uh, gonna take a while.
[clock chimes]
Rainbow Dash: [groaning] Why is this taking so long? The Wild Blue Yonder's gonna close before we even get to Las Pegasus.
Applejack: Here. I made a list to help you keep the grandmares out of trouble. Don't wanna have to bring 'em back home before you get to go on your rollercoaster.
Rainbow Dash: That could happen?!
Applejack: Only if you don't follow the rules. These grannies need a lot of care. If one of 'em overdoes it, it's bye-bye Las Pegasus for the lot of ya.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "Make sure they get their naps". "Eat only soft foods". "Careful when dancing"? "Don't get too excited"? Seriously?!
Applejack: And don't let 'em out of your sight. Ever.
Rainbow Dash: Wait. Then how am I supposed to go on the rollercoaster?
Applejack: You'll find time. And you might even learn a thing or two about havin' a good time from these old gals.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. That'll happen.
Applejack: All right, y'all! Time to get this show on the road! [chuckles] Or in the sky, in this case.
[grannies chattering]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Come on, come on, come on!
[cats meowing]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash: Go, go, go, go, go!
Rainbow Dash: Argh! Everypony okay in there?
Granny Smith: Dandy as a pansy in a plant pot!
Apple Rose: You know, this hot air balloon ride reminds me of the time I climbed a tree. Have I ever told you that story?
Auntie Applesauce: Only about a million times.
Apple Rose: Huh? What did you say?
Rainbow Dash: [echoing] They said they've heard the tree story!
Apple Rose: Oh, you wanna hear the tree story? Okay.
Goldie Delicious: Here we go again.
Apple Rose: Back when I was a young filly, I was afraid of tree-climbin'. These knockin' hooves sweatin'. Have you ever had the hoof sweats? Well, they're just the worst thing. You know, cousin Strudel – she used to get 'em too. Now, of course she was a champion fritter... [fades out]
[distant cheers]
Rainbow Dash: The Wild Blue Yonder is in our hotel?! Uh, I bet you grannies are feeling super tired from your journey.
Granny Smith: Nope! How about a trot down the avenue to see the sights, girls?
Goldie Delicious: Oh, forget the sights! I came here to play some serious horseshoe toss!
Apple Rose: Oh, can we see the rainbow fountains at the water show? They're so magical!
Auntie Applesauce: My pores are crying for a mud mask at the Prism Palace Spa!
Rainbow Dash: You know what would be really fun? Relaxing in our room! Come on. Last one to the hotel is a rotten apple! [whoosh] Let me get that for ya. [grunting]
[distant cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh! There it is! The best rollercoaster ever!
Goldie Delicious: Aaah! Warm up those withers, ladies! There's a horseshoe-hurlin' trophy with our names on it!
Grannies: [groaning]
Applejack vision: [ghostly voice] Don't let them get too excited! Or you'll have to go hooooooome!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. That sounds a little too exciting. Why don't we get you checked in first?
Auntie Applesauce: Oh, my. You are a strong pony. Aren't you, sugarhocks?
"Luggage Cart": [gulps]
Grannies: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[door opens]
"Luggage Cart": Welcome to our Gold Horseshoe Suite. Only the best of the best for our favorite guests. Which, of course, means you lovely mares.
Auntie Applesauce: Why, thank you a bushel and a peck, you scrumptious morsel of frosted carrot cake.
"Luggage Cart": Oh. [chuckles] Thank you, ma'am.
Auntie Applesauce: I think he was sweet on me. Maybe I should ask him to accompany me to the magic show tonight.
Granny Smith: Ha-ha! You sure your name's not Applesaucey? Better find the brakes on that buggy, sugar. We just got here.
Auntie Applesauce: You're right. Better see what else is out there first. The day is young, and I am not!
Grannies: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Granny Smith's right. Let's not overdo it. How about a nice nap so you can really enjoy Las Pegasus?
Goldie Delicious: [yawns] Good idea. We could use some shut-eye, hmm?
Apple Rose: But I'm not tired. Uh, oh, right! Uh, yaaaawn.
Grannies: [yawning]
Granny Smith: You go along now and explore while we rest, sugar booger. Yawn.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, if you say so! [to Lemon Squeezy] What? They'll be in here sleeping the whole time I'm gone!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Quit judging me!
[door closes]
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] One ticket for the coolest rollercoaster of all time, please. [gasps] But... But... this line never ends!
"Cranberry Muffin": I know, right? Good thing we can just stand here all day without any responsibilities waiting for us!
Rainbow Dash: [groan]
"Cranberry Muffin": Oh, hey, thanks!
Rainbow Dash: Enjoy the ride.
[door opens, closes]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. They didn't even know I left.
[cat meows]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
[cat meows]
Rainbow Dash: Aah! [gasps] They're gone!
Rainbow Dash: [panicked whimpering] Granny Smith! Apple Rose! Are you here?! Applesauce? Goldie? Oh, I'm the worst chaperone ever!
Applejack vision: [ghostly voice] Don't let them out of your siiiiiiiiight!
Rainbow Dash: I know, I know! Excuse me, sir. Have you seen a group of old mares around here?
"Tight End": Lady, you just described half the ponies in this place.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] This place is huge! They could be anywhere!
Crowd: [chanting] Goldie! Goldie! Goldie! Goldie! Goldie! Goldie!
Carnival Barker: Can they do it? Can good old Goldie Delicious and the Gold Horseshoe Gals break the all-time resort record, folks?
[clang]
Crowd: [cheers]
Goldie Delicious: Now that's how you hurl a horseshoe!
Rainbow Dash: Ha! No way! Goldie's totally got game!
Carnival Barker: Make some noise for the best-played game of horseshoes this resort has ever seen! Can you believe your eyes, folks?
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Go, Goldie!
Carnival Barker: Stand back! She's getting excited!
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Uh-oh!
Goldie Delicious: Oh, oop!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, mind if I try?
[clank]
Rainbow Dash: Whoops. Guess I'm no good at this game. Sorry.
Carnival Barker: And the Gold Horseshoe Gals are out! Looks like the show's over, everypony.
Crowd: Awww! [groaning]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'm so glad I found you! Everypony feeling okay? Not too excited?
Goldie Delicious: Pretty much the opposite right now.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Good. From now on, I'm not letting you grannies out of my sight.
Auntie Applesauce: In that case, let's paint the town candy apple red!
Goldie Delicious: Ooh! We could play more games!
Apple Rose: Or go shopping for hats! Have I ever told you about the time I got a new hat, and it turned out to be a bird? [laughs]
Granny Smith: That's what we ought to do!
Rainbow Dash: Really?
Granny Smith: Hit the buffet! All that horseshoe tossin' sure works up an appy-tite.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Uh-huh...
Granny Smith: I love me some nachos. I'mma set my dentures loose on these vittles until the crumbs cry uncle!
Applejack vision: [ghostly voice] They can only eat soft foods! You're a nacho away from no rolly-coaster!
[whoosh, clang]
Granny Smith: [exclamation of surprise]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Granny. You know you can't have those. They're super crunchy.
[clang]
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: How about some nice soft carrot soup, instead?
Granny Smith: I thought you was supposed to be the fun one.
Rainbow Dash: Wait. I am fun!
Carnival Barker: [over P.A.] Attention all, thrill-seekers! There's only one day left to ride the ride of all rides, the Wild Blue Yonder, before it's gone for good! Get in line! Now!
Rainbow Dash: [anxious groan] So... what does everypony want to do tonight? I was thinking go to our room and put on eye masks and earplugs? [crunching]
Auntie Applesauce: I'd rather hit the club and show off my dance moves. I'm quite a legend when it comes to rumba.
Grannies: [agreement]
Rainbow Dash: Sounds kind of intense. Aren't you all exhausted from your big day?
Goldie Delicious: Heck no! We save up our energy all year for Las Pegasus weekend, isn't that right, girls?
Auntie Applesauce, Apple Rose, and Granny Smith: Mmm-hmm!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Dancing it is, then. I'll be there.
[splat]
[trance-like music]
Applejack vision: [ghostly voice] Careful when daaaaaanciiiiing!
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Stop doing that! Uh, that's probably enough dancing for now! Right, Apple Rose?
Apple Rose: Oh, that was just my warm-up.
Auntie Applesauce: Look! It's our favorite magicians, Big Bucks and Jack Pot! And aren't they lookin' handsome as ever?
Jack Pot: [laughs, ahem] You little fillies have got some smooth moves!
Grannies: [giggling]
Big Bucks: Say, how would you Gold Horseshoe Gals like to bring some of that good energy into our magic show tonight?
Jack Pot: Here's five complimentary VIP tickets to our most amazing trick in the Ponet Fantastique Theater, just over there.
Auntie Applesauce: Sugarcube, we never miss your show.
Jack Pot: Fabulous. We'll save a spot for you on stage.
Big Bucks: And in our hearts.
Rainbow Dash: So gross.
Grannies: [cheering]
Granny Smith: Yeehaw, girls! Applesauce landed us some Very Important Pony tickets for the show tonight! [chuckles]
Grannies: [laughing and giggling]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! You said you were going back to the room after dancing! So each pony could have some alone time?
Goldie Delicious: Oh, now don't be a stick in the mud! Trust me, you'll loooove this show! It's the best thing in Las Pegasus!
[grannies cheering]
"Cranberry Muffin": Oh, hey! Thanks for giving me your place in line. They said I'm one of the last ponies ever to ride the Wild Blue Yonder! Ha!
[applause]
Big Bucks: And now, for the trick that made us famous!
Jack Pot: The most dangerous magical feat known to ponykind.
[music]
Jack Pot: We'd like to invite some very special mares to the stage.
Auntie Applesauce: That's our cue, girls!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, where are you going? Come back!
Big Bucks: Meet our lovely assistants!
[applause]
Jack Pot: They will make a splashtastic escape using only the instructions we give them... with our minds.
Crowd: [oohs]
Big Bucks: Don't try this at home, folks!
[hatch opens, water flowing]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Applejack vision: [normal voice] Do I really have to say anything?
Rainbow Dash: Release those grannies, right now!
Crowd: [shocked gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
[creaking]
[splash!]
Crowd: [gasps]
Granny Smith: What'd ya go and do that for?! That was our big star moment!
Rainbow Dash: Y-You were in danger! I saw the water! You were trapped!
Goldie Delicious: Oh, pish-tosh! This is a magic show! We've seen it a thousand times! Everypony always escapes.
[crowd murmuring]
Big Bucks: Uh, that's right, folks! Because of our, um, skill as magicians!
Jack Pot: And now, a disappearing act!
[poof!]
Auntie Applesauce: Well, I hope you're happy! We've been waiting to be picked as the lovely assistants in that trick for years!
Goldie Delicious: You keep ruinin' our fun! I had a hot hoof goin' in that game you decided to lose for us!
Granny Smith: And I wanted to eat those nachos at the buffet!
Apple Rose: And I could have torn up the dance floor if you didn't keep stopping me!
Granny Smith: They're bein' too polite to say it, so I will! Rainbow Dash, we thought you'd be a hoot, but I ain't never met a wetter hen!
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Goldie Delicious: She's right! You've had your mane in a twist ever since we arrived!
Apple Rose: Is something the matter, dear?
Rainbow Dash: I'm so sorry, everypony. The truth is, all I wanted to do for this whole trip is ride the Wild Blue Yonder. I mean, it's why I came to Las Pegasus in the first place! Applejack told me not to let you out of my sight, or you might overdo it and we'd have to go home early.
Auntie Applesauce: Applejack put you up to this?
Grannies: [annoyed chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Well, now it's too late. I ruined your trip, and it's the last day ever to ride the Wild Blue Yonder! The line is so long, I'll never get to go on it.
Grannies: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, what's so funny?
Granny Smith: [chuckling] Is that all you wanted?
Goldie Delicious: Well, fish-flavored kitten kibble. Why didn't you say so sooner? Come on, girls!
[trumpet fanfare]
Granny Smith: We're Gold Horseshoe members. The most exclusive club in Las Pegasus. And she's with us.
Goldie Delicious: We've been comin' here every moon since we can remember. Even some we don't remember.
Auntie Applesauce: It definitely has its perks.
Rainbow Dash: Like fancy suites and rollercoaster rides?
Apple Rose: That's right. And I hope you like riding in the front.
Rainbow Dash: Um, yes! [squeals] This is amazing! Isn't this amazing?
Granny Smith: Sugar, you probably want to hold on 'bout now.
[coaster clanking]
[cheering]
[snap! snap! snap!]
Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry I misjudged you for being older ponies. You mares are actually pretty cool.
Granny Smith: Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, Granny?
Granny Smith: The gals and I have been talkin', and, well... We think you're a hoot after all! We'd like to invite you to become a permanent member of the Gold Horseshoe Gals! [hoots]
Rainbow Dash: Ha-ha! Really?
Grannies: Mm-hmm.
Auntie Applesauce: Same time next year?
Rainbow Dash: I wouldn't miss it for anything!
[credits]

Surf and or Turf

[doors open]
Scootaloo: Princess Twilight!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We're glowing!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggling] That's what happens when you're summoned by the Map.
Sweetie Belle: Somepony needs our help?
Apple Bloom: We're being called by the Map?
Scootaloo: Did I mention we're glowing?!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Scootaloo: So where exactly in Equestria are we needed?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, where you're going isn't even in Equestria.
Sweetie Belle: Wow! That's almost... off the table!
Apple Bloom: But what's way out there?
Twilight Sparkle: Mount Aris, the home of the Hippogriffs! And that's where you're headed!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa...!
[theme song]
[ponies chattering]
Sweetie Belle: You really don't need to come with us, Twilight. We can take care of this mission just fine on our own.
Apple Bloom: Mm-hmm.
Scootaloo: Yeah!
[thud]
Scootaloo: Oof!
Sweetie Belle: Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: I know that. But I'm not so sure the ponies who care about you want you going off so far on your own. Besides, there's some school business I need to take care of on Mount Aris. This permission slip is for Silverstream. It's very important that her mother and father sign it, or else no field trips.
Scootaloo: [whispering, to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle] Sounds like somepony just wants a vacation.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, yes, I have been wanting to visit Mount Aris ever since the Hippogriffs moved back. But it's purely research. Silverstream's brother is gonna meet us there and take us to their houses.
Apple Bloom: Wow! They have more than one house?
Twilight Sparkle: I guess so. The social structure of the Hippogriffs and seaponies is a bit of a mystery.
"All Aboard": All aboard! Last stop – the new Mount Aris Station!
[ponies chattering]
[train whistle blows]
[train chugging]
Sweetie Belle: I don't know if I'd like being a Hippogriff. Part bird, part pony...
Scootaloo: I'm happy with just my pony parts, thanks.
Apple Bloom: I think Hippogriffs are pretty neat. I learned all about them from Applejack. The Hippogriffs all once lived happily on Mount Aris. But when the Storm King invaded, they used a magic pearl to turn into seaponies and escape to the underwater safety of Seaquestria. Then, in the Battle of Canterlot, when Applejack defeated the Storm King—
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, what? She told you she defeated him? By herself?
Apple Bloom: Uh, maybe she didn't say that exactly. But it makes for a better story.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
[train whistle blows]
"All Aboard": Final stop – Mount Aris Station!
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa!
[train chugging]
[brakes hissing]
Sweetie Belle: All right. So what kind of cutie mark-related friendship problem do you think we're supposed to solve.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But Hippogriffs don't have cutie marks. So it might not have anything to do with that at all.
Apple Bloom: Huh. Still, the Map called us, so it must be a kind of problem that only we can solve.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Go, Crusaders!
Sweetie Belle: But how do we know exactly who we're supposed to help?
Scootaloo: Ahem. Attention, please! Anygriff here have a problem?
[beat]
Scootaloo: Eh. That's all I got.
Apple Bloom: Maybe if the Map could be a little more specific about our mission, like maybe... an address?
Twilight Sparkle: The Map doesn't really work like that. But I'm sure you and whoever needs help will find each other.
[water splashing]
Terramar: Excuse me! Miss Sparkle? Over here! Sorry I'm late. I'm Silverstream's brother Terramar.
Apple Bloom: A Hippogriff can have a seapony for a brother? How does that work exactly?
Sweetie Belle: Shhh! It's rude to ask a question like that!
[magic sounds]
Scootaloo: Whoa!
Apple Bloom: Can I ask now?
Terramar: [chuckles] It is kind of strange. See, after the Storm King was defeated, the seaponies didn't have to hide anymore. So some of them changed back to Hippogriffs and went home to Mount Aris.
Twilight Sparkle: But others got used to living under the water and stayed in Seaquestria.
Terramar: And me? Well, I kind of go back and forth with this. It's a tiny piece of the magic pearl. It was split up among our kingdoms.
Apple Bloom: Whoa!
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Cool!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm pretty eager to see the Hippogriff village. You know, to... get this form signed. And... research! So...
Apple Bloom: Hey, Terramar? Does anygriff you know up there have a problem they need help with?
Terramar: [chuckles] On Mount Aris? No. Everygriff is pretty happy up there. [sighs] It's a great place to live.
[Hippogriffs laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! This looks amazing! Last time I was here, it was a ghost town!
Terramar: Yeah. Queen Novo thought it was important to return our village to its former glory.
[trumpet fanfare]
Sky Beak: And now, I officially open the "Glad to Be a Hippogriff" Festival!
[trumpet fanfare]
[Hippogriffs cheering]
[whoosh!]
[Hippogriffs cheering]
Twilight Sparkle and Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ahh! Whoa!
[Hippogriffs continue cheering]
Scootaloo: Wow! We picked a good day to show up!
Terramar: Not really. We do this every weekend. Hippogriffs really like being Hippogriffs.
[Hippogriffs cheering]
Sky Beak: [chuckles] There's my boy!
Terramar: Hi, Dad!
Sky Beak: Haven't seen you in days, son. Wish you'd come around more often.
Terramar: Oh! Dad, these are some of Silverstream's friends from Equestria. They came up to—
Sky Beak: [gasps] Princess Twilight Sparkle! [screeches]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Aah!
Sky Beak: Attention, everygriff! Princess Twilight Sparkle is here! She's Silverstream's teacher!
[Hippogriffs gaspinng and exclaiming]
Sky Beak: Here to take in the marvel that is Mount Aris, your Highness?
Twilight Sparkle: Absolutely! And to have you sign a form for Silverstream.
Sky Beak: Glad to! But first, let's show the princess some real Mount Aris hospitality! To the refreshment tent for a stein of salmon juice!
Twilight Sparkle: Eh. Research. See you later! And good luck! I know you'll find your mission!
Sweetie Belle: Well, your dad's certainly... outgoing, isn't he?
Terramar: He's a great guy. All my relatives are nice. That's kind of the problem—
Sweetie Belle: Wait, stop.
[whimsical wind chimes]
Sweetie Belle: What's that wonderful sound?
Terramar: Those are the Harmonizing Heights. Legend says that—
[zoom!]
[whimsical wind chimes]
[birds chirping]
[water splashing]
Sweetie Belle: Woo-hoo! Yeah! Awesome! I love this!
Terramar: Uh, is she okay?
Sweetie Belle: This is absolutely the best place ever! You are so lucky!
Scootaloo: And you get to swim in the ocean! You have two great places to live!
Apple Bloom: How do you make up your mind which one to stay in?
Terramar: I can't. That's the problem.
Apple Bloom: Did you say... "problem"?
Sweetie Belle: You have a problem?!
Scootaloo: Yes!
Sweetie Belle: Woo-hoo! We discovered our mission!
Scootaloo: All right!
Apple Bloom: We did it!
Sweetie Belle: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [chuckles nervously]
Scootaloo: Sorry. You were talking about your problem?
Terramar: Right. Like I said, Mount Aris is one great place to live. That's why Silverstream and my dad and some of my cousins came back here. But Seaquestria is another great place to live. That's where my mom is.
Sweetie Belle: Ohhhh. I-I didn't know that.
Terramar: So no matter where I am, I feel like I'm letting someone down.
Apple Bloom: No wonder you're having such a hard time deciding.
Terramar: And I have to choose soon. Every other griff my age already knows where they belong. I'm still not sure.
Scootaloo: When in doubt, chart it out!
Scootaloo: Now, we put down everything great about each place and everything not so great. Compare them, and... your decision is made for you!
Sweetie Belle: Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Mount Aris is the best of all possible worlds. Pro – it's beautiful. Con – too far from Equestria. I think that pretty much sums it up.
Terramar: But you haven't been to Seaquestria yet. How can you even compare them?
Apple Bloom: Terramar's right, Sweetie Belle. It'd be fair if we visited both places before we decide.
[screech]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, everypony! This festival is fantastic! Look what I won at the ring toss booth! Ahem. But of course, I'm really here on business. Sky Beak's already signed the form. Now I just need your mom's signature. Is she around?
Apple Bloom: Um... she's a seapony. In Seaquestria.
Twilight Sparkle: That's what Silverstream meant by "houses"!
Terramar: Mm-hmm. If you'd like to meet my mom, we're just heading down there now.
Apple Bloom: And how exactly are we gonna visit underwater?
[magic sounds]
[water bubbling]
Scootaloo: Whoa! [giggling] Woo-hoo! Yeah! [giggling] Whoa! This must be just like flying! Woo-hoo!
Apple Bloom: Where's your mom's house, Terramar?
Terramar: Come on. It's this way.
Scootaloo: This is awesome!
Scootaloo: [giggling]
Terramar: Mom!
Ocean Flow: Terramar! Welcome home, baby! No excuses. This time, you're staying for dinner.
Terramar: [chuckles] Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, this is my mom Ocean Flow. And this is—
Ocean Flow: [gasps] Princess Twilight Sparkle! What an honor! You know, Silverstream just raves about you.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she is one of our most hardworking students. In fact, I brought this form for you to sign so that—
Ocean Flow: Both my children are so smart. Would you like to see their baby pictures?
Terramar: Mom!
Twilight Sparkle: That sounds adorable! I'd love to! And you know, to find out about aquatic pony early development and, uh...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling] Research.
Ocean Flow: Oh, well, maybe your friends would like a snack while we're gone? Some kelp chips? Fish oil tea?
Terramar: No, thanks, Mom. I'm gonna go show them around.
Scootaloo: Look out! [giggling] Can't catch me!
Sweetie Belle: Huh. Not much sunlight down here, is there?
Scootaloo: [giggling]
[bongo drums drumming]
Scootaloo: Boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da-boom!
Sweetie Belle: No grass to run in and no hooves to run on it with. And excuse me, but how do you keep from getting all pruney? [sighs]
Scootaloo: [laughing]
[thud]
Scootaloo: [bubbly] Everything sounds funny down here!
Sweetie Belle: Okay. I've seen everything I need to. So, uh, why don't we find Twilight Sparkle, finish the chart, and, uh, head back up the mountain? I have some serious field twirling to do.
Scootaloo: Where's she going? I want to stay and swim some more! [sighs]
[magic sounds]
[seagull squawking]
Sky Beak: [screeches] Princess Twilight, you're back! And just in time for the screeching competition.
Twilight Sparkle: Why not? Could be another trophy in my future! Be back soon!
Scootaloo: All right! Let's add some positives to the Seaquestria side!
Apple Bloom: Uh-huh!
Scootaloo: Swimming is like flying, multi-color fish, and did I mention the flying thing?!
Sweetie Belle: You forgot the cons. Dark, wet, sea monsters...
Scootaloo: I don't remember any sea monsters. Apple Bloom, looks like it's up to you.
Apple Bloom: Me? Well... Both places have a lot of good things about them. I can understand why it's hard for you to decide.
[Apple Bloom]
Your heart is in two places, you can only live in one
You're torn between the hilltops and the tide
[Sweetie Belle]
Thank goodness that the Cutie Mark Crusaders have begun
To give you hope and help you to decide
These hills, they call to you, they say "Harmonizing Heights"
This is your home, simple and serene
The sun-dappled leaves or a mountain terrace
You can see twenty-three different shades of green
To dare to compare anywhere to there
Is unfair and just plain wrong
Colt or mare or you wear feathers, fins, or hair
This is where you belong
Scootaloo: Well, on the other hoof, I can think of a place that's way more exciting and cool, not to mention more you! Come on, you know exactly where I mean!
Seaquestria's the most, you're supposed to be there
Underneath the sea where you can feel at home
Swimmin' with your friends, you can spend all day here
Playin' in the bay here, splashin' in the foam
Sailin' through the wavy blue
You'll view a slew of tortoises
Forget the rest, the sea's the best
For all intents and "porpoises"
[Sweetie Belle]
Build your nest here on Harmonizing Heights
[Scootaloo]
Live it up here in Seaquestria
[Sweetie Belle]
Nothing compares to Harmonizing Heights
The eagles are regal
[Scootaloo]
But the schools are cooler
[Sweetie Belle]
Their claws are so awesome
[Scootaloo]
With their sweet maneuvers
[Sweetie Belle]
Star wishes every night
[Scootaloo]
Starfish by eel light
[Sweetie Belle]
Better
[Scootaloo]
Wetter
[Sweetie Belle]
Shinier
[Scootaloo]
Brinier
Seaquestria!
[Sweetie Belle]
Harmonizing Heights!
[Scootaloo]
Seaquestria!
[Sweetie Belle]
Harmonizing Heights!
[Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo]
That's it! This is the end!
Don't ever talk to me again!
Apple Bloom: Terramar, where're you goin'?
Terramar: Ugh! If you all can't even agree amongst yourselves, how am I supposed to make up my mind?! It's hopeless!
Scootaloo: Hmph!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle said to tell you it's your fault that Terramar ran off.
Scootaloo: Well, you tell Sweetie Belle that if it weren't for her, our mission would've been over by now! And a success!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Scootaloo says this whole thing is your fault.
Sweetie Belle: Well, tell her that I'm not the one who dashed all of Terramar's hopes and made him give up on the world! Both worlds!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] Sweetie Belle says it's your fault that Terramar ran— Oh. Wait. I already told you that, didn't I?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, what's going on? Where's Terramar?
Apple Bloom: Uh, well... he... he kinda left. He wanted to be by himself.
Scootaloo: Which was not my fault!
Sweetie Belle: Mine, either!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, of course not. Why would you think that?
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Because it was our fault.
Scootaloo: All we had to do was help him choose which world to live in.
Sweetie Belle: And we let him down.
Twilight Sparkle: Whoever said that he had to choose?
Apple Bloom: Well, he did.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... Maybe Terramar's making it harder than it has to be.
Ocean Flow: Yoo-hoo! Princess! We're having a seashell-crafting circle. Care to join us?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, we're right in the middle of—
Sky Beak: There you are! The flag-folding ceremony's about to begin!
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, really. I've had a great time in both places today, but... [whispering, to Cutie Mark Crusaders] Wow. This must be how Terramar feels all the time.
Ocean Flow: Oh! Hello, Sky Beak.
Sky Beak: Ocean Flow! You're looking well.
[Hippogriffs and seaponies chattering]
Sweetie Belle: Hmmm... This gives me an idea.
[water flowing]
Scootaloo: Huh. I thought for sure he came this way.
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] He did.
Terramar: And I'm staying here, too! That way, I don't have to be on land or in the water!
Scootaloo: We're sorry. We were supposed to help you, and...
Sweetie Belle: ...we just ended up confusing you more. It's all our fault.
Terramar: Oh, great! You're sorry, and I'm still confused! I'm staying in my tree.
Apple Bloom: We might have somethin' worth comin' down for.
Sweetie Belle: We thought we'd get every creature together for a picnic on the beach.
Scootaloo: And we mean every creature!
[Hippogriffs and seaponies chattering]
[splashing]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Sky Beak: Son! There you are! Your friends told us how you've been feeling.
Ocean Flow: And we're sorry if we ever made you think you had to choose between worlds. That wasn't our intention, honey.
Sky Beak: Your Hippogriff heritage is something to be proud of, certainly.
Ocean Flow: But you're more than just where you're from or who you live with. We love you because you're you, no matter where you choose to be.
Sky Beak: You don't have to decide. You can keep doing what you've been doing – going back and forth.
Ocean Flow: And enjoying both places.
Terramar: [laughing]
Scootaloo: Something we forgot to add that both places have – family and friends who love you.
Terramar: Thanks for everything. Hey, uh, are you glowing?
[shimmering sounds]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Yes! We did it!
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations! Your first map mission is a success!
Sweetie Belle: Guess that means we're officially done here. I hope you come visit your sister in Equestria.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, come see us! You'll love it!
Scootaloo: Who knows? You might even want to live there!
[beat]
Scootaloo: Yeah, that was a joke.
[credits]

Horse Play

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, I have an idea for your ones-versary.
Princess Celestia: My... "ones-versary"?
Twilight Sparkle: The one-thousand, one-hundred, eleventh year anniversary of when you first raised the sun.
Spike: Good thing Pinkie Pie reminded us, or we would have forgot to celebrate.
Princess Celestia: You're not the only ones. What did you have in mind?
Twilight Sparkle: To commemorate your first sunrise, I've written a play. We'd like to perform it at my School of Friendship, if you don't mind.
Princess Celestia: [giggling happily] Mind? Oh! Of course not! Oh! I think a play is a fantastic idea!
Spike: Did she just... prance?
Princess Celestia: Oh, uh, forgive me for getting so excited. It's just, when I was a filly, my friends often put on plays. [sighs] It was so wonderful. Everypony coming together to create a magical experience to share with others. I've always believed theater brings out the best in us and forges a special bond of friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] I didn't know you used to act!
Princess Celestia: Oh, not me. I was always too busy with my magic lessons to be part of any plays myself. But still, it's something I always wished I could experience.
Twilight Sparkle: And you still can! Princess Celestia, we would be honored if you would be the star of our play!
Spike: We would?!
[theme song]
Princess Celestia: You want me to star in your play?!
Spike: Yeah... When did that happen, exactly?
Twilight Sparkle: If you'll excuse us for a second... [whispering] Don't you see, Spike? It's perfect! Princess Celestia has always wanted to be in a play, and this one's about her!
Spike: [whispering] I guess, but how are we supposed to give her directions? She's the ruler of Equestria!
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] She's also our friend. Celestia's always kind to everypony. So if we have a chance to finally do something for her, we should.
Spike: Hmmm...
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Come on. How many times has Celestia helped us? Guided us? Been a warm, calming voice over our shoulder?
Princess Celestia: Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Aah!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Princess Celestia?
Princess Celestia: Your invitation is very kind, but are you certain it's wise? I have no acting experience at all.
Twilight Sparkle: Experience? Pssh! You'll be playing yourself. And we'll all help you. Please? It'd mean so much to the students if you were in our show.
Princess Celestia: Well, if you're sure...
Spike: Yeah, what she said.
Princess Celestia: Then I would be delighted to join your theater troupe!
[squeak]
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Confetti is ready! Woo-hoo!
Applejack: Puh! Wormy apple cores, Pinkie! How many times have I told you to keep your special effects away from my sets?!
Pinkie Pie: Three hundred twenty-seven. Oh! Unless you just did. Then it's three hundred twenty-eight. [squee]
Applejack: Ugh.
Starlight Glimmer: I can't believe you've memorized your lines already, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Once you get past terrifying, paralyzing stage fright, the rest is easy. Now I just hope Princess Celestia says we can do our play.
Rarity: Oh, as soon as she sees these fabulous costumes, all she'll be able to say is "Brava!"
Rainbow Dash: Heads up! Here comes our answer!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Wonderful news, everypony!
Applejack: Yeehaw! We get to put on our show?
Twilight Sparkle: Even better. Princess Celestia is gonna be our star!
Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, and Fluttershy: [gasps]
Spike: Yeah, that's how I felt, too.
Rainbow Dash: Celestia? Starring in our play? This is huge!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, she was a little nervous at first, but I told her not to worry. With us helping, it will all go smooth as—
Rarity: Silk! I must find the silk! If Celestia's going to be in our play, we have to take everything up to the next level! None of these old ideas will do!
[squeak]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Forget my regular party cannon! For princess-sized effects, we're gonna need Big Bertha!
Applejack: Grrrr...! Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: What?
Rainbow Dash: Our play is gonna be amazing! I gotta tell everypony I know! And even the ones I don't!
[whoosh, boom!]
Applejack: Why in tarnation are y'all gettin' so starstruck? We've met Princess Celestia before. Plenty of times.
Starlight Glimmer: Those were formal things – galas, world-saving. This is different! Imagine doing sweaty warm-ups with a princess, blowing your nose in front of a princess, sitting around just... talking with a princess.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm a princess. You talk to me.
Starlight Glimmer: That's different. You're not a "princess" princess.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, thanks. Celestia wants to experience the special friendship that theater ponies have. To give her that, you just need to be yourselves.
Fluttershy: You... You really think so?
Applejack: Heh. Aw, quit frettin'. It's only a couple o' pals gettin' together to put on a ones-versary play. What could go wrong?
Spike: [amplified] Places, everypony! We're here to rehearse "A New Day in Equestria"!
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat]
Spike: [amplified] Directed, written, and produced by Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: Page one, act one, scene one. Action!
[curtains squeaking]
Fluttershy: Once upon a time, before Celestia, Equestria was suffering terrible hardship. Raising the sun every morning was so hard, it took five great sorcerers plus Star Swirl the Bearded to do it.
Young Six: [straining]
[clanking]
Fluttershy: And every day, the unicorns helping Star Swirl would use so much magic, they lost their powers forever. Things looked bleak. Soon, Equestria would lose all its magic users! Then, the land would be covered in darkness for eternity!
[clanking]
Twilight Sparkle: [to Spike] Even I can't believe how good my play is! The sets, the props, the outfits – they're all great!
Spike: And... here comes the best part.
Fluttershy: But then, a student named Celestia discovered she had the power to raise the sun herself without draining her magic!
[birds chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, that's your cue, Celestia.
Princess Celestia: Oh! Uh, right! Of course! Heh. [clears throat] [quietly] It is time for a new day in Equestria.
Spike: Um, what?
Princess Celestia: Oh, uh, I said [quietly] it is time for a new day in Equestria.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: And your delivery was... great! But maybe you should try it a tiny bit louder for the ponies in the back row.
Princess Celestia: Oh, yes, yes. My Royal Canterlot Voice. Thank you for the reminder, Twilight. [booming] It is time for a new day in Equestria!
[birds squawking]
Princess Celestia: Oh! Goodness! This theater does have strong acoustics. M-My apologies. I'm still learning to hone my craft.
Twilight Sparkle: No, no! You're doing... fine! Why don't we try it one more time? Just like you're talking to me.
Princess Celestia: [flat and stilted] It is time for a new day in Equestria-aaa.
Twilight Sparkle: A bit more energy.
Princess Celestia: [rushed and hyperactive] It's time for a new day in Equestria! [normal] Uh, how was that?
Applejack: Uh, honestly?
[teleportation zap]
Applejack: [muffled]
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Wow! It's hard to believe you've never done this before! Let's move onto the dance number!
[dance music]
Spike: Again! Step, buck, leap, touch! Again! Step, buck, leap, touch! Got it? Movin' on! Five, six, seven, eight!
Princess Celestia: [with wildly varying tone] Come on, Star Swirl. Throw off that must-Y hat and let's have a... a dance!
[clanking]
Young Six: [yelps]
[crash!]
Young Six: [groaning]
Princess Celestia: Oh, dear. I think we have a problem!
Applejack: [whispering] Yeah. Our lead actress is a disaster!
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating] What are we gonna do?! If I tell Celestia she's terrible, it'll hurt her feelings, and I'll be a bad friend. But if I keep her in the show, she'll be the laughingstock of Equestria, and I'll be a worse friend.
Applejack: Ya need to tell Celestia the truth, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Any other suggestions?
Spike: Why don't we just cancel the show?
Twilight Sparkle: Real suggestions?
Spike: No, think about it. Right now, most of Equestria doesn't even know we're doing a ones-versary play. If we shut it down...
Rarity: ...Nopony will ever miss it!
Starlight Glimmer: So they'll never find out Princess Celestia's a bad actress!
Fluttershy: And she won't be embarrassed!
Pinkie Pie: Ah! It's the perfect plan!
Rainbow Dash: All right! I just finished telling everypony to come to our play!
Twilight Sparkle: You... did?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! You should've seen how excited they got when they found out Celestia was in it! They said they'd tell their friends, and then their friends would tell their friends! Everypony in Equestria's gonna see this thing! Uh... did I miss something?
Twilight Sparkle: Just the bright light of hope being snuffed. But that's okay. If we can't cancel the show, I know what I have to do.
Applejack: Be honest with Celestia and give the lead role to somepony else?
Twilight Sparkle: Not a chance!
Applejack: Twilight, you know truth is a huge part of friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: And so is making another pony's dreams come true. Look, I promised Celestia that this time, she could be a part of the play instead of just watching it. And I plan to keep that promise.
Fluttershy: But how?
Princess Celestia: You want to give me acting lessons?
Twilight Sparkle: No-no-no-no-no-no-no. More like a special workshop with other actors. To... take your performance from good to flawless.
Princess Celestia: Thank you so much, Twilight! This is what I always knew theater must be about – that special stage pony bond of shared trust and honesty.
Spike: Yeah. Heh. That's what it is. Ahem.
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia, meet Method Mare performers On Stage and Raspberry Beret!
On Stage: Avec pleasure, your Majesty!
Princess Celestia: The pleasure is all mine! If there's anything I can do to become a better Equestrian thespian, I will! What do you have planned?
On Stage: I thought we'd make it up as we go along. [chuckles] Otherwise known as improvisation!
Raspberry Beret: Yes, and we can start as soon as we get out of this box.
Princess Celestia: What box?
Twilight Sparkle: [distressed whimper]
[clattering]
Twilight Sparkle: How's it going over here?
Rainbow Dash: That sun will never rise again.
Pinkie Pie: That's why I have something even better!
[zip!]
Rarity: [gasps] It's the perfect substitute!
[pop!]
[balloon deflating]
Rarity: It was the perfect substitute.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Please give me something to be happy about.
On Stage: Let's try visualization! And... you're skiing!
Raspberry Beret: Whoosh! Whoosh! Oh, it's so snowy today! Brrr! I'm getting chilly!
Princess Celestia: Should I get you a blanket?
On Stage: All aboard! The Ponyville Express is leaving the station! Whoo-whoo! Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga...
Princess Celestia: It is? But I don't see anything.
Raspberry Beret: Let's be weeping willows in the wind! We are strong in adversity yet supple as we bow to fate.
On Stage: Well? What do you feel?
Princess Celestia: Mmmm... nothing. Oh! The classroom floor under my hooves! Does that count?
Twilight Sparkle: [facehoof]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Do I wanna know?
[clanking]
Pinkie Pie: Wait for it...
[flames crackling]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie!
[splash!]
Pinkie Pie: Whaaaat? It's realistic! The sun is just like a burning marshmallow!
[water dripping]
[whirring]
Twilight Sparkle: What are they doing now?
Spike: [sighs] The simplest acting exercise they could think of – a game of charades.
Raspberry Beret: A puppy! A duck-billed platypus! Antidisestablishmentarianism! Oh, I give up! What?!
Princess Celestia: My love for Equestria and all the ponies in it! Twilight, you felt what I was emoting, didn't you?
Twilight Sparkle: [stuttering] Yeah!
Spike: [to On Stage] Now, that's the best acting we've seen all day.
[indistinct chattering, orchestra tuning up]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay! I tried and tried and tried! But we have to face facts. We can't make Celestia an actress. So there's only one thing to do!
Applejack: Tell her the truth finally?
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, and Fluttershy: [groans]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I've rewritten the script to give Celestia a more artistic part with no lines.
Pinkie Pie: And to make sure the show's a hit, I've whipped up the biggest, bestest, flashiest fake sun ever!
All but Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[fuses sizzling]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Pinkie? That looks unsafe.
Pinkie Pie: Why would untested magic fireworks that I bought in a back alley from Trixie at midnight be unsafe?
[fireworks exploding]
[boom!]
Twilight Sparkle: [coughing]
[water splashing]
[crash!]
Pinkie Pie: [blows]
Twilight Sparkle: [anguished shriek] I can't take it anymore! It was supposed to be a simple play! Just one simple play! And then everything goes wrong, from the stage to the props, right down to the worst! Lead! Actress! In Equestria! [panting]
[curtain flapping]
All but Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Princess Celestia: Twilight, if you honestly thought I was a bad actress, why didn't you tell me?
Twilight Sparkle: I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to insult your acting! It's just, I-I got so stressed! But... that's no excuse for what I said. You have every right to be upset with me.
Princess Celestia: I'm not upset because you insulted my acting.
Twilight Sparkle: You're not?
Princess Celestia: I'm upset because, in all the time we've known each other, I thought I taught you about the importance of friendship, trust, and honesty!
Twilight Sparkle: Celestia, wait!
Pinkie Pie: No!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: You can't fly away now! Look!
Fluttershy: Ponies are taking their seats for the show.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Standing room only! Did I do a good job of advertising for this thing or what? Sorry.
Starlight Glimmer: We can't put on a show with no lead actress!
Applejack: You go find Celestia. We'll figure out a way to stall this thing 'til you get back.
Spike: Good luck. Nopony's gonna volunteer to try to tame that.
Rarity: No pony indeed.
Spike: [gulps]
Spike: So... [chuckles nervously] Ahem. Uh, who likes juggling?
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia! Please wait! Can we talk?
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid I haven't much to say, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: All right then. Just listen. You've guided me since I was a filly. You've given me knowledge and advice and friendship. Just once, I wanted to be able to give something back to you. I know what I did was wrong. I should've told you the truth. But I promised you could be in our play. I had to make it work. Nothing would make me feel worse than knowing I disappointed you.
Princess Celestia: You really mean that?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! I look up to you more than any pony I've ever met! I hate to let you down. Like I did.
Princess Celestia: [sighs] You had good intentions, Twilight. But you know that the truth is always better than a well-meant lie. Didn't Applejack remind you?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] About a hundred times. And now, because I didn't listen to her, I've ruined your whole ones-versary.
Princess Celestia: Well... I don't know about that. Isn't there an old saying? "The show must go on"? There may be a way for us to save the play yet.
Twilight Sparkle: But how? I mean, if I'm being completely honest... you're not an actress.
Princess Celestia: No. But I am a princess.
[crowd booing]
Spike: Ugh! Good news – free food. [chewing] Bad news – this play is officially a disaster.
Princess Celestia: Fortunately, I know a thing or two about how to deal with those.
Starlight Glimmer: You came back!
Princess Celestia: Yes. But let's celebrate later. Right now, we have a show to do!
Rarity: But... but... but how?! The audience is about to riot! We have no backdrop! And our lead actress is—!
[squeak]
Rarity: Uhhhh...
Princess Celestia: No longer in that role. Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Twilight, go calm the audience. Let them know the play will start in just a minute.
[teleportation zap]
Princess Celestia: Rainbow Dash, bring us some clouds and place them behind the stage. There, that's our new backdrop. Starlight, do you have a copy of the script?
[magic zap]
Princess Celestia: Spike, you narrate the play. Fluttershy will be our new lead.
Fluttershy: Oh, my. Me? Playing you? While you watch me playing you? Oh, no. Oh, no. I think my stage fright is coming back. [hyperventilating]
Princess Celestia: Visualize with me. You're a princess. Regal. Commanding. Confident. Feel the rising sun's warmth. Equestria needs you.
Spike: Once upon a time, before Celestia, Equestria was suffering terrible hardship. Raising the sun every morning was so hard that it took five great sorcerers plus Star Swirl the Bearded to do it.
[crowd laughing]
"Rainbow Stars": You call those great sorcerers?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Hecklers! What should we do?
Princess Celestia: [whispering] Spike! Improvise!
Spike: Y-Yes. And, uh... raising the sun each day was super draining. But you can see that for yourselves, right? I mean, do these guys look beat-up or what? Star Swirl's so stressed, he's got kinks in his horn!
[crowd laughing]
Spike: But that's okay. 'Cause it turns out Celestia had a special power to raise the sun all by herself!
Fluttershy: It's time for a new day in Equestria!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! In all the commotion, we forgot we don't have a sun! What do we do?!
Princess Celestia: We play charades.
Fluttershy: [trembling]
[crowd ooh-ing and ahh-ing]
[crowd cheering]
On Stage: My goodness! I had no idea this production would have such elaborate special effects!
Princess Celestia: Judging by how many flowers the audience threw, it seems our play was a success.
Fluttershy: I just feel bad you never got a chance to actually be in it.
Princess Celestia: You shouldn't. I never felt I had to be on stage to be a part of the show. All I ever wanted was to share an honest bond of creativity, artistry, and happiness with my friends. And that's exactly what I got to do.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you for saving our play, Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia: You're welcome, Twilight. But from now on, none of you will have to call me "Princess" anymore.
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Huh?
Spike: Wait, what? We don't?
Princess Celestia: No. I had so much fun tonight, I've decided to give up my crown, step down from the throne, and devote all of my time to the theater!
Twilight Sparkle: Y-You... what?!
Princess Celestia: Gotcha! Maybe I'm not such a bad actress after all.
All: [laughing]
[credits]

The Parent Map

[knocking on door]
Mail Pony: [sighs]
[knocking on door]
[pounding on door]
[door opens]
Mail Pony: [clears throat] Morning, Sunburst.
Sunburst: What? Oh! Hi! [chuckles nervously] You know, no matter how many times I read it, Houyhnhnm's Guide to Magical Arcana never gets boring.
Mail Pony: If you say so. I've got another letter for you. From Sire's Hollow.
Sunburst: Mm-hmm. Sure thing.
[door closes]
Mail Pony: [groans]
[thud]
[shimmering sounds]
Sunburst: What's this? Could I be experiencing the cerebration transmogrification effect described in chapter seventeen—?
[thud]
Sunburst: Oh. My cutie mark is glowing. My cutie mark is glowing! I know what this means! Why am I yelling?!
[theme song]
Sunburst: Princess Twilight, what an honor this is! I-I mean, it is, right? I'm called for a friendship mission?
Twilight Sparkle: You sure are. And it must be a special one. Nopony outside of Ponyville has ever been called before.
Spike: If you need some pointers, let me know. I've been on my fair share of missions.
Twilight Sparkle: You've been on one, Spike.
Spike: And that's my fair share.
[door opens]
Sunburst: Starlight! You mean we've both been called? This is great!
Starlight Glimmer: [depressed] Yeah... Great...
Sunburst: Aren't you excited? You and me on a mission together!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Sunburst: I'm... sorry. Are you not excited to go on a mission with me?
Starlight Glimmer: No. Uh, no! I mean, yes. Heh. Totally excited about us going together. Just... not so excited about where.
Sunburst: Sire's Hollow?
Starlight Glimmer: Yep. Home.
Sunburst: [deflated] Oh. Great.
Spike: You know, I can go if you two don't want to. I am kind of an expert.
Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst: [groans]
[train chugging]
[indistinct conversations]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] It's not that I don't want to go home. It's just that whenever I do, my dad treats me like a filly. Like nothing's changed since I was a foal.
Sunburst: Huh.
Starlight Glimmer: I know. I'm a horrible daughter.
Sunburst: N-No, no! My mom actually does kind of the same thing.
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
Sunburst: I don't even have to go home. She sends me letters constantly asking about my plans for the future. [imitating Stellar Flare] "You're a grown-up pony, Sunburst! You need a plan!" [sighs] I haven't been home in a while either.
Starlight Glimmer: Hmph. We'll just have to explain to our parents that we're on an important friendship mission so they can't bother us.
Sunburst: Do you really think that will work?
Starlight Glimmer: Nope!
[brakes hissing]
[train whistle]
[train chugging]
Sunburst: [sniffs, sighs] The great thing about home is it always stays just how you le—
[thud]
Sunburst: Augh!
Starlight Glimmer: Where did that come from?
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
"Ever Essence": Essence?
Sunburst: Essence of what?
"Ever Essence": You tell me.
[spritz]
Sunburst: [coughing]
Starlight Glimmer: What is it?
Sunburst: Uh... chocolate maybe?
"Ever Essence": Not chocolate maybe. Chocolate definitely! And all of the benefits with none of the drawbacks.
Sunburst: Didn't this used to be a fruit stand?
"Ever Essence": I don't know what it used to be. The Sire's Hollow Development Committee determined what it is.
Sunburst: The Sire's Hollow Development what? Where do ponies buy fruit?
"Ever Essence": You can get a fruit smoothie two doors down.
Sunburst: All the shops are different. Everything's changed!
Starlight Glimmer: Not everything. That's the same as it ever was.
[door opens]
"Raspberry Latte": Sorry. Our bookstore's been declared a site of historical significance by the Sire's Hollow Preservation Society.
"Minty Mocha": You'll have to experience the books from here. That's why windows are see-through.
[door slams]
Sunburst: What?!
Starlight Glimmer: Preservation Society? What is happening around here?
Firelight: I'll explain it to you, sugarplum! [chuckles] You are just as cutesy-wutesy as ever!
Starlight Glimmer: [muffled] Dad! [normally] Quit it! What is going on?
Firelight: Oh, just a father wanting to preserve our town's rich history for his little pumpky-wumpkin! [chuckles]
Starlight Glimmer: Dad, you promised no "pumpky-wumpkin"'s in public!
Sunburst: [stifled laughter]
Firelight: [whispering] Sorry, chipmunk cheeks.
[smack!]
Starlight Glimmer: Don't. You're preserving the whole town? That's crazy!
Stellar Flare: That's exactly what I told him! I said, "Firelight, you're crazy!"
Sunburst: Mom?
Stellar Flare: Our village needs the same thing you do, Sunburst – a clear plan for the future.
[snip!]
Stellar Flare: That's why I started the Sire's Hollow Development Committee. And I've got plans for this little town. Big plans!
Firelight: Listen here, Stellar Flare! I'm not gonna let you turn our historical heritage into Las Pegasus!
Stellar Flare: And I'm not gonna let you turn it into a museum!
Firelight and Stellar Flare: [growling]
Starlight Glimmer: W-Wait. Are you two fighting over this?
Sunburst: Like having a friendship problem?
Stellar Flare: Oh, there's no problem.
Firelight: Because there is no friendship!
Sunburst: Well, the good news is we know why we're here.
Starlight Glimmer: [huffs]
Sunburst: [sighs] Maybe we should've sent Spike after all.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
[magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst and I were called here to do a job, and it looks like you two are it.
Stellar Flare: You mean your success depends on us?
Sunburst: Uh...
Firelight: And you have to hang out with us the whole time you're here?!
Starlight Glimmer: Um...
Stellar Flare: Well, I'll hear what you have to say. But every plan I've made for this town is perfectly reasonable.
Firelight: Good luck convincing me my preservation efforts don't make sense.
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: [sighs]
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
Starlight Glimmer: So we can't hold the books?
"Raspberry Latte": [laughing] No!
Sunburst: Can you hold the books?
"Minty Mocha": No.
Starlight Glimmer: So nopony can read the books?
Firelight: [chuckles] Isn't she adorable? [chuckles]
[gate clanking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
"Ever Essence": You can call them... mm... "smells". But I call them essence!
[spritz]
Sunburst: [coughing]
Starlight Glimmer: [sniffs] Fruity.
Sunburst: Too bad there's nowhere to get actual fruit.
Stellar Flare: In the future, all ponies will drink their fruit!
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: [slurping]
Starlight Glimmer: [coughing]
[thud]
"Cracked Wheat": One hundred percent ancient pony grains! Just like the town founders ate! Hope you like crust!
[crunch, thud]
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow!
[gate creaking]
Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's—!
Stellar Flare: Okay, it's annoying. I get it.
Firelight: Maybe my preservation efforts were a little over the top.
[crash!]
"Cracked Wheat": [groans] Oh, no.
Stellar Flare: And I might have been trying to turn the town into a shopping mall.
Firelight: Well, whatever direction the town takes from now on, how about we work together on it?
Stellar Flare: Deal! Sunburst, you should move closer to Ponyville. After this success, I'm sure the Princess of Friendship will want to send you on more missions.
[smack!]
Sunburst: That's not really how it works. Oh, look at the time! We should get going now that we solved the friendship problem, right, Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah... The thing is, I don't think we did solve it. When we solve a friendship problem, our cutie marks are supposed to glow.
Firelight: Aw, don't be disappointed, puddin'. Your papa will work this out for ya.
Starlight Glimmer: Heh. My papa wasn't called by the map in Twilight's castle. I was.
Stellar Flare: How are you gonna explain this to the princess? What's your plan if she fires you from friendship quests?
Sunburst: Mom! She doesn't—! It-It's not—!
Stellar Flare: Use your words, Sunburst.
Sunburst: [angry groan]
Starlight Glimmer: I guess you two weren't the problem we were sent to solve after all.
Stellar Flare: So now you don't even know why you're here? Ah! We have to figure this out before we run out of time!
Sunburst: [sighs] Mom, there isn't a time limit.
Firelight: So you're here for an extra long visit? [laughs] You can stay in your old room, punkie wunk! It's just like you left it!
[guitar riff]
Starlight Glimmer: [whispering] We need to find this friendship problem now!
Firelight: Now, I know you have your little job to do, but Stellar and I know the town a lot better than you two.
Stellar Flare: That's right! Neither of you have been home in ages. You're gonna need our help to succeed!
Starlight Glimmer: I guess that makes sense...
Firelight and Stellar Flare: [chuckling]
Stellar Flare: I already have some ideas!
Firelight: Me, too!
Sunburst: I think I liked it better when they were fighting.
[chalk tapping]
Firelight: Okay! Now that I've explained how Sire's Hollow was founded, we can start to explore all the possible friendship problems that might have developed over time.
Starlight Glimmer: [inhales] I appreciate the history lesson, Dad, but I need to find the problem now. In the present.
Firelight: Aw, now, hon-bun. How are you gonna do that without all the backstory, huh? Oh! Of course I know how hard it is for you to sit still and focus, soooo... would it help you pay attention to hold on to your bwankie?
Starlight Glimmer: [growling]
Stellar Flare: Now, you've had a little setback. But don't worry. I know exactly what you need to do.
Sunburst: Make a plan?
Stellar Flare: Already got one! Step one – interview the suspects. Step two – use your talents to solve the issue. Step three – get the Princess of Friendship to send you on more missions!
Sunburst: Mom! It does not work like that!
Stellar Flare: Uh-huh.
[beat]
Stellar Flare: [clears throat]
"Ever Essence": [poorly acted] Oh! Thank goodness you are here! These two ponies refuse to use my essences.
"Raspberry Latte": Maybe because we don't like to cover our natural scent!
Stellar Flare: [clears throat irritably]
"Ever Essence": Ugh.
"Raspberry Latte": Ugh.
"Minty Mocha": [sighs] [poorly acted] And she refuses to buy our books.
"Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": [poorly acted] Surely this is a friendship problem.
Sunburst: Ugh! It needs to be a real friendship problem! You can't just make one up! [angry groan]
Stellar Flare: This is what happens when we don't rehearse! Ugh!
Firelight: Starlight? Sweetie? I found a really old town bylaw that nopony agrees on. Apparently, we're not supposed to prance or canter after dinnertime. Could that be the problem? Silly-filly?
Starlight Glimmer: Whew! What are you doing?
Sunburst: [sighs] Hiding from my mother. She started making up friendship problems for me to solve.
Starlight Glimmer: [scoffs] My dad won't even let me talk to anypony in case they're "strangers". I'm a grown mare!
Sunburst: [sighs] We're never going to find the friendship problem with them around, let alone solve it.
"Cracked Wheat": Maybe you two should start looking for it on your own? [crunching]
[lamp clicks]
Starlight Glimmer: [whispering] Okay! So we wanted to talk to all of you, you know, in private.
Sunburst: [whispering] Just to see if there were issues any of you had with your friends.
"Ever Essence": [whispering] Got it. Just one question. Why are we whispering?
"Cracked Wheat": They're avoiding their parents.
"Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": Ohhhh... [various agreement]
Sunburst: No. Not avoiding. Just... taking a break.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah. We needed to focus. B-But we're definitely not avoiding them.
"Raspberry Latte": So you're whispering with all of us in the darkest corner of the shop where nopony can possibly see because you're not avoiding them?
Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm.
Sunburst: Uh, but they definitely can't hear us in here, right?
"Cracked Wheat": No way! This is the antiquities section. Nopony ever comes back here.
Firelight: There you are! But what are you doing in here? [gasps] Is the friendship problem in my favorite section of the bookstore?
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: [groans]
Firelight: ...And then, I thought the best way to look for a friendship problem in the present...
Starlight Glimmer: Dad!
Firelight: ...was to look back in our town history even farther!
Starlight Glimmer: [angry groan]
Stellar Flare: Sunburst! Oh, finally! Now, I know you don't want me to make up a problem, but what if I start one?
Sunburst: That's not how this—!
Stellar Flare: I mean, nopony ever became a success by following all the rules, right?
Sunburst: [nickers angrily]
Stellar Flare: [to Firelight] How are things on your end?
Firelight: Couldn't be better! New leads and such!
Starlight Glimmer: Guys...?
Stellar Flare: We really are providing excellent assistance, aren't we?
Sunburst: Guys!
Firelight: I dare say our children should be grateful for our help.
Starlight Glimmer: Guys!
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: We don't want your help!
Stellar Flare: I'm sorry. You don't want our help?
Firelight: [chuckles] That's... That's ridiculous! What reason could you possibly have for that?
Starlight Glimmer: Because you're driving us crazy!
Stellar Flare: Oh, really? And just how am I driving you crazy?
Sunburst: By always coming up with plans! I don't need a plan! I mean, maybe I do, but it'll be mine, not yours!
Stellar Flare: [choking up] Well... I'm sorry for trying to help! [crying]
Starlight Glimmer: And you're not any better! I'm not a filly! I'm a grown pony with a job to do, and I'll do it on my own!
Firelight: Well. I'll let you get to it then.
Starlight Glimmer: Great. Now we have to smooth things over with our parents on top of finding and solving a friendship problem.
Sunburst: It's almost like our relationship with our parents is the friendship problem.
Starlight Glimmer: You don't think that's it, do you?
"Cracked Wheat": [clears throat] That's what all of us think.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans, collapses] Why couldn't we have been sent to stop a war or something?!
Starlight Glimmer: Dad?
Firelight: Hello, Ms. Glimmer. How is your friendship problem search going? I only ask as an interested observer, since I know you are an adult who's capable of doing things without help from anypony else.
Starlight Glimmer: Actually... I think Sunburst and I figured out what it is.
Firelight: So Stellar and I weren't really helpful after all.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, we haven't actually solved it. And I don't think we can. Not without you.
Stellar Flare: [sniffs]
[spritz]
Stellar Flare: [coughing] Pungent. Ugh. [to Sunburst] Oh. Did you come by to be driven crazy by more of your mother's plans?
Sunburst: No, I came to apologize.
Stellar Flare: Well, it's going to take more than an apology to make up for telling me you don't want my help finding your friendship problem.
Sunburst: Oh, I'm not sorry for that. Starlight and I already figured out what the problem is.
Stellar Flare: This is a terrible apology.
Sunburst: Well, if you come with me and help fix it, I'll give you a better one.
Starlight Glimmer: Usually, Twilight or one of our other friends gets called to a place with a friendship problem to fix.
Sunburst: But Starlight and I realized we came here to fix a friendship problem we already had.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry I've been avoiding coming home, Dad. But you can't keep treating me like a foal.
Firelight: I'm sorry, sugarbun. [sighs] I just know how hard things were for you when you left home. I guess I wanted you to feel safe, like... when you were young.
Starlight Glimmer: Dad, I know I've made some mistakes, and I'll probably make a bunch more. But I learn from them. I think that's what growing up is.
Sunburst: I'm sorry I never told you how much your plans bothered me, and I know you just want me to succeed. But I need to do that on my own.
Stellar Flare: I remember how lost you were when you flunked out of magic school. I thought as long as you had a plan, you'd never feel that way again.
Sunburst: You don't have to worry, Mom. I need to find my own way. And I definitely don't feel lost anymore.
[shimmering sounds]
"Cracked Wheat": [crying] That's so beautiful!
Stellar Flare: The glowing cutie mark is such a symbol of accomplishment. I don't suppose there's a way for you to get it to glow all the time.
Sunburst: [chuckles] Pretty sure it doesn't work that way.
Starlight Glimmer: Not unless we solved a friendship problem every few seconds, and I kinda hope this one will be it for a while.
Firelight: You know, it seems to me your map is saying we're not just your parents. Heh. We're your friends, too.
Starlight Glimmer: I guess so.
Firelight: So if I promise to treat you less like a little filly and more like a friend, will you visit more?
Starlight Glimmer: Absolutely. Mmm.
Sunburst: And if you start to drive me crazy again, I'll tell you instead of never coming home.
Stellar Flare: That's lovely of you to say, dear. But you know, I can always visit you.
Firelight: Stellar, you're a genius! [laughs] How do you feel about a road trip?
Stellar Flare: I might have a few plans for that.
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: [chuckling nervously]
[train chugging]
[credits]

Non-Compete Clause

[whooshing]
[papers fluttering]
Yona: Huh?
[whooshing]
Silverstream: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Did I miss the Teacher of the Month announcement?
Applejack: You're just in time. But it's gonna be me.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, right. I got this one nailed.
Twilight Sparkle: And the Friendship School Teacher of the Month is... Fluttershy!
Applejack: [groans] Again?
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Fluttershy: Oh, my! I don't know how I keep winning.
[camera flashes]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Me, neither.
Twilight Sparkle: The award is based on the students' vote. They must really like you.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Next item of business – I've been looking into a new activity for our friendship classes. Spike?
[pages flapping]
Twilight Sparkle: Section one-forty-seven, paragraph two states that teamwork is a key part of friendship. And section two-two-nine, paragraph nine says outdoor activity reinforces learning. Add that together, and what do you get?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! Okay, let me see. One-forty-seven, two-twenty-nine, carry the two... Three hundred and eighty-seven?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm. A teamwork field trip. Leading it is a Teacher of the Month-type job, so I thought I'd ask—
Applejack: I'm your pony, Twilight! Sweet Apple Acres has taught me a thing or two about workin' together.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but being a Wonderbolt's the definition of teamwork.
Applejack: [chuckles] I'm sure you're not sayin' fancy flyin' makes ya a better choice than me.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] I wouldn't say "better". Just a little more qualified. No offense.
Fluttershy: Maybe you can lead the field trip together.
Applejack: [stutters]
Rainbow Dash: [stutters]
Twilight Sparkle: Of course! Who better to model the importance of working as a team?
Pinkie Pie: Um, Rarity? Fluttershy? Me? Spike? This flowerpot?
Twilight Sparkle: Both of you are teamwork experts. If the students see the two of you teaching together, they'll learn even more. I know you've been competitive in the past, but I'm sure you'd never let that get in the way of friendship education.
Applejack: Of course!
Rainbow Dash: Totally!
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [groans, chuckles]
[theme song]
Ocellus: I've never been on a field trip before.
Smolder: Yeah, what's the point of this exactly?
Gallus: Getting out of the classroom. Duh.
Yona: Yak best at field-tripping! [grunts]
Silverstream: That's what we're doing?! So fun! [grunts]
Sandbar: [chuckles] Pretty sure the headmare has something else in mind.
Twilight Sparkle: All right, class. Today you'll learn how important working together is for building a strong friendship.
Applejack: Hey, y'all! Ready to get out there and do some learnin' the Apple family way?
Rainbow Dash: This is basically gonna be the best field trip in the history of ever! With me in charge, that is. Whoa!
Applejack: [chuckles nervously] With us in charge. Meanin' mostly me.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Good one.
Twilight Sparkle: And what teamwork activity do you two have planned for today?
Applejack:
Shed buildin'!
Rainbow Dash:
Canoe racing!
Silverstream: No... way. We get to do both?!
Twilight Sparkle: I bet that's exactly what your teachers had in mind. Why don't you start with shed building first?
Applejack: Heh. Don't mind if I do! Everycreature, follow the leader!
Twilight Sparkle: I'll check in later to see how it's going. Remember to work together!
Applejack: [deep inhale] Now take a good, deep breath. What do you smell?
Gallus: [inhale] Uh, yak?
Yona: [sniffing] Mm-hmm!
Applejack: Nope. Try again.
Ocellus: Um, apples?
Applejack: And...? Anyone? Anyone? No? The promise of... teamwork! That there's an apple shed. And this here is what we're gonna use to build it. Nothin' brings friends together like a little hard work and honest sweat.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] Sweat? Seriously? That's supposed to be part of friendship?
Applejack: Not everypony would know that, Rainbow Dash. Just "Teacher of the Month" kind o' ponies.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever. Let's just get this done so we can move on to my activity.
[montage music]
[hammering]
[sawing]
Applejack: That's it! Measure twice and cut once! Haste makes waste! Slow and steady!
Rainbow Dash: Emphasis on the slow.
[whoosh]
[thudding]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Applejack: Rainbow Dash! Ya can't build an apple shed like that!
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Oh, yeah? I just did!
[thud]
Sandbar: Whoa! No way!
Rest of Young Six: Whoa!
Gallus: Impressive... if you can call an apple shed impressive.
Applejack: Just 'cause it's fast don't mean it's good!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, sorry, can't hear you. Too busy practicing my "Teacher of the Month" pose. [grunting]
Applejack: Don't count your pictures before they're snapped, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! These students are totally gonna vote for a teacher who gets things done!
Applejack: No! They're gonna vote for a teacher who gets things done right!
Smolder: Yeah... This isn't awkward at all...
[montage music continues]
[wood creaking]
[hammering]
Applejack: Steady... Steady... Take 'er nice and slow...
[creaking]
Applejack: Little to the left...
[creaking]
Applejack: Uh, a hair to the right...
[creaking]
Applejack: Now, a hoof shavin' higher...
[creaking]
Rainbow Dash: [growls] Just bring it down already!
Gallus and Smolder: [yelps]
Applejack: [yelps]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles nervously]
Applejack: I'll give ya one guess whose side is still standin'.
Yona: Yak side! [grunts]
[thud]
Yona: [chuckles nervously] Uh...
Applejack: [sighs]
Ocellus: Um, professors? I'm a little confused about teamwork now.
Rainbow Dash: That's because you need a different teacher. Follow me! Last one to the stream is a rotten apple shed!
Applejack: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: Who's ready to smash the all-time Equestria speed record for river canoeing?!
[cricket chirping]
Gallus: Is that even a thing?
Sandbar: First I've heard of it.
Rainbow Dash: We need to get to the finish line before this alarm goes off. That means you gotta move fast! Any questions?
Yona: Uh, Yona has questions.
Rainbow Dash: No time for 'em! Get in the boat!
Applejack: You really think winnin' some canoein' record is gonna get you that Teacher of the Month trophy?
Rainbow Dash: I'm pretty sure everycreature's gonna like it a lot better than pounding nails and cutting wood.
[splashing]
Yona: Yak not like water.
Ocellus: Sometimes, when I'm scared to try something new, I whistle.
Yona: [weak whistling]
Gallus: We got you, Yona.
Yona: [yelping]
[thud]
Applejack: Way I see it, Twilight's gonna give that teachin' trophy to a teacher, not a racer.
Rainbow Dash: We'll see about that.
Rainbow Dash: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Harder! Put your backs into it, newbies!
Applejack: Stroooooke... Stroooooke... Stroooooke... Slower... Focus on your paddle technique, y'all.
Silverstream: Woo-hoo! We're really going now!
Smolder: So... when do we get to the part when we move?
[water splashing]
Rainbow Dash: When everycreature starts listening to me, the leader of my activity, Applejack! Now stroke!
[water splashing]
[water rushing]
[watch ticking]
Rainbow Dash: Dig in, team! We can still beat that record!
Applejack: Stop!
Rainbow Dash: Go!
Ocellus: Which way do we go?
Rainbow Dash: Left!
Applejack: Right!
Silverstream: Aye-aye, captains! Wait, what?
Rainbow Dash: Left! I can see the finish line from here!
Applejack: If we go left, we'll be headin' straight into the bite-acuda fish!
Rainbow Dash: Who cares about a few fish?
Sandbar: Uh, professors?
Applejack: You'll care plenty when they bite ya!
Sandbar: Guys?
Rainbow Dash: We'll just go around them!
Sandbar: Rock!
All: [screaming]
[crash!]
[water rushing]
All: [gasping, coughing]
Silverstream: [giggling]
Yona: [panicked whistling] Oof! [grunting]
[rip!]
Silverstream: I love field trips!
Applejack: I hope you're happy.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Obviously not! Because there goes our new speed record!
Yona: [panicked whistling, coughing] Help! Yak not swim!
[transformation zap]
Ocellus: That's okay! Your friends can change into creatures that do!
Yona: [panicked whistling, coughing]
Twilight Sparkle: How's the canoeing... going?
Smolder: About as good as the apple shed building.
Rainbow Dash: I totally had things under control until Applejack messed 'em up!
Applejack: I did not!
Rainbow Dash: Did too!
Applejack: Did not!
Gallus: Yup. It's been like this all day.
Sandbar: I wouldn't say all day. Just... ninety-nine percent of it.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe this! You're not teaching teamwork! You're competing with each other! I thought you were past that!
Rainbow Dash: We are! Mostly.
Applejack: We got carried away with wantin' to be the Teacher of the Month is all.
Twilight Sparkle: The Teacher of the Month wouldn't care about being the Teacher of the Month! I know Fluttershy would be thrilled to see another pony win. That's it! I'm taking over this field trip!
Applejack: H-Hold up, Twilight. Don't count Rainbow Dash for the award just yet. You shoulda seen her fire up those students to build a shed.
Rainbow Dash: No way! You're the one the students listen to. Besides, you saved us from those pony-eating fish.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, long story. But Applejack should definitely be Teacher of the Month.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... Maybe you two have learned something, after all.
Applejack: Does that mean you'll give us another chance at the Teacher of the— [muffled]
Rainbow Dash: Field trip?
Twilight Sparkle: Well...
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight. We get it. No more arguing. Right, Applejack?
Applejack: Right as rain and twice as fresh!
[hoof-bump]
Twilight Sparkle: Fine. But I'm picking the next activity you two lead. A nature walk. Nopony could possibly argue over that. Right?
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Right!
Applejack: See? We're agreein' already.
Applejack: Well, look at that. The path splits up ahead. Left or right?
Smolder: Ugh. Here we go again.
Applejack: Where to, Rainbow Dash?
Rainbow Dash: I was thinking right... unless you want to go left. Because what makes you happy makes me happy.
Applejack: Aw, heck. Forget about me. You want to go right, we'll go right.
Rainbow Dash: But teamwork means listening to other ponies, so it's up to you.
Applejack: Well, aren't you as sweet as sugar apple pie? But it's up to you.
Yona: Ugh! Follow me! Yak know best way!
Applejack: Hey! Where are y'all goin'?
[montage music]
Ocellus: I think we've gone in the same circle five times.
Sandbar: Only because someponies won't make up their minds about which way to go.
Rainbow Dash: Do you want to keep going in a circle, Applejack?
Applejack: Up to you, Rainbow Dash. I insist.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] No, no. I insist.
Applejack: Heh. But I insisted first.
Silverstream: Are we still on a field trip? 'Cause this just feels like being lost.
Smolder: Ugh.
[whoosh]
Smolder: We can still get back to school before dark if we cross that ravine and stop doubling back.
Rainbow Dash: We knew that. All part of our plan. Right, Applejack?
Applejack: Uh, yup! All we have to do is, uh... build a bridge 'cross that, uh, giant canyon, and we're home free. That is, if-if you think a bridge is a good idea.
Rainbow Dash: Only if you want to build a bridge.
Gallus: Stop! Listen. We can just fly everyone over and be done.
Applejack: Nope! There's still plenty o' time to teach y'all a lesson in teamwork.
Rainbow Dash: Cooperation!
Applejack: Togetherness!
Rainbow Dash: You are so right!
Applejack: Only as right as you are!
Smolder: Okay! We'll build a bridge! What do we use?
Applejack:
Branches!
Rainbow Dash:
Vines!
[beat]
Applejack:
Vines!
Rainbow Dash:
Branches!
Applejack: I'm goin' with your idea! Vines! No buts about it!
Rainbow Dash: I-I'm building with your idea! Branches! End of story!
[montage music]
Ocellus: [yawns]
[crickets chirping]
Applejack: [muffled] Why use a branch when you can use a vine? [grunting] Whoa!
Young Six: [gasps]
Applejack: [grunting]
Young Six: [sighs]
[crack]
Rainbow Dash: Why didn't I think of branches to begin with? They're so— [yelping] ...easy to work with.
Young Six: [gasps]
[wind whistling]
Applejack: [muffled] Come on now... [grunting] These here vines are just the thing, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Not to disagree, but these here branches are the way to— [screams]
Applejack: [screams]
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [screaming] Help!
Ocellus: Uh, at least now they're agreeing on something.
[vines creaking]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] I can't get out!
Applejack: Let me try. [grunting]
[vines creaking]
[teeth snapping]
Rainbow Dash: Let me guess. Bite-acudas?
[splashing]
Applejack: Mm-hmm.
[teeth snapping]
Applejack: And they look mighty hungry.
Sandbar: We gotta get our professors out of there! Anycreature have a plan?
Gallus: Leave 'em hangin'?
Silverstream: What?!
Gallus: I'm kidding! ...Kinda.
Ocellus: We need to work fast! And together!
[vines snapping]
Smolder: But mainly fast.
Applejack: I hate to admit it, but—
[vines snapping]
Applejack: ...this whole mess is kinda our fault.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. No trophy is worth getting eaten over.
Applejack: So what do ya say? You want to team up and get ourselves out of this here pickle barrel?
Rainbow Dash: I thought you'd never ask.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [screams]
Ocellus: Aah! Don't worry. I'm just the distraction.
Rainbow Dash: Ocellus?!
Applejack: [sighs] You nearly scared the cutie marks off us!
[splashing]
Ocellus: [roars, chomp-chomp]
[splashing]
[vines snapping]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [screaming]
Silverstream: Need a lift?
Yona: Yak smash! [grunting]
Sandbar: [grunting]
Smolder: [grunting]
Yona: [laughing, grunting]
Sandbar: Welcome back, professors!
Rainbow Dash: Now, that was a rescue!
Applejack: And y'all did it together!
Young Six: [cheering]
Gallus: No big. Those fish weren't even a thing.
Ocellus: [growls]
Gallus: [screams]
Ocellus: [chuckles] Oops. Sorry.
Silverstream: [giggles] Best... field trip... ever!
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? How was the field trip? What did you all learn?
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: Uhhhh...
Yona: Yak learn ponies smart!
Silverstream: Yeah! Professors Applejack and Rainbow Dash were such good teachers!
Gallus: It was kind of crazy genius. They showed us what not to do so we'd figure out what we should do.
Twilight Sparkle: Really...?
Sandbar: It took us a while to get it.
Smolder: Especially at the ravine. It would've been so much easier to just fly home.
Silverstream: But instead, our professors built bridges the wrong way just to show us how important teamwork is.
Gallus: Yeah. That was super dangerous. Talk about commitment.
Ocellus: We know it's too early to pick the Teacher of the Month. But we'd like you to consider Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you for telling me. I'm so glad to hear your field trip was a success. I'll make sure to schedule another one right away.
Young Six: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [to Rainbow Dash and Applejack] You were actually just competing the entire time, weren't you?
Applejack: To tell you the truth... yeah.
Rainbow Dash: Well, not all the time. I agreed with you for the whole nature walk.
Applejack: Only 'cause you were anglin' for that Teacher of the Month award!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: You were the one doing the "angling"!
Applejack: [scoffs] You were more like fandanglin'!
Rainbow Dash:
What does that even mean?! No one here can understand your country bumpkin talk...!
Applejack:
Look, we all live in the same town here...!
[credits]

The Break Up Break Down

[oven timer ticks]
Big McIntosh: [groans]
Spike: You said it, Big Mac. This is taking forever! I know it's wrong to cut corners when it comes to gifts from the heart, but this is an emergency, right?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Spike: Discord? A little help? Discord!
[beat]
Spike: [sighs]
Big McIntosh: [whispering]
Spike: Yeah? Oh! Good idea! [clears throat] Captain Wuzz! Are you prepared to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?
[poof!]
Discord: Huzzah, fellow adventurers! Shall we storm the ramparts of Squizard's castle to reclaim Calico's Ring of Imperceptibility?
[beat]
Discord: You did summon me for a rousing Guys' Night of Ogres & Oubliettes, did you not?
Spike: Uh, sort of. But do you think you could magically hurry up this pie real quick first?
Discord: You seem to be mixing up [poof!] the Lord of Chaos [poof!] with a second-rate clown magician for hire.
Big McIntosh: Eee... wait!
Spike: This needs to go in the mail today, or it'll never get to Sugar Belle in time for Hearts and Hooves Day!
Big McIntosh: [embarrassed giggling]
Discord: Please. Can't you see that that holiday is a commercialized ruse pushed on you by the greeting card industry?
Big McIntosh: [clears throat irritably]
Discord: Fine. You owe me for this. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: Keep your eye on the pie. [à la Doug Henning] It's magic time!
[poof!]
[theme song]
Discord: [sniffing] This smells... uh... palatable.
Spike: Well, pies really are Sugar Belle's thing. But I think that makes this all the more special. It shows you're interested in what she cares about.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spike: And he's planning a big romantic Hearts and Hooves dinner. It was my idea to bake the invitation inside.
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: [reading] "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle. Meet me in my barn at sunset for a surprise."
Spike: Pretty clever, huh?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. [chuckling]
Discord: Ugh. [snaps fingers]
[paper wrapping]
Spike: Awww. "Sugar Belle". See?
Discord: Well, you two certainly have bought into this romance nonsense hook, line, and sinker.
Spike: For a formerly friendless immortal despot, you're pretty cynical.
Discord: I'm a realist. And love, like all things warm and fuzzy, isn't real.
Spike: Aw, come on. You act tough, but deep down, you're a softie. I mean, you don't have tea with Fluttershy every weekend because you like tea.
Discord: But I do like tea! Every tea! All the teas! Chamomile, Earl Grey, green, white, yellow, mate, lemon, ginger, chai, spearmint, peppermint, hibiscus... [inhale] ...cinnamon, pumpkin spice.
Big McIntosh: [groans]
[door opens]
Spike: Tell you what. While Big Mac mails his incredibly romantic gesture, I'll show you the splendors of Hearts and Hooves Day in Ponyville. I bet I can prove you believe in love.
Discord: Fine. Call it a gentleman's wager. Loser mows my lawn for eternity.
Spike: Is it, like, a riding mower or...?
Discord: Tweezers!
Spike: [gulps]
[montage music]
Apple Bloom: Hear ye, hear ye! This special Hearts and Hooves Day meetin' of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is now in session! First order of business – helpin' my big brother decorate the barn for his big date with Sugar Belle tonight, and... Hello?
Sweetie Belle: It seems like everypony's got somepony special but us.
Scootaloo: When's it gonna be our turn?
[knocking on door]
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Huh?
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Huh?
Scootaloo: [gasps] Who's it from?
Apple Bloom: Can't tell. It's all smudged, but it looks like it's addressed to... "Belle"? Hmmm...
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] "Sweetie Belle"!
[paper tearing]
Sweetie Belle: Somepony certainly went through a lot of trouble for me! On Hearts and Hooves Day!
Scootaloo: [gasps] You don't think...
Sweetie Belle: Could it be...?
Apple Bloom: Hang on a minute. Mysterious package, smudged address, no idea who it's from... Hm. I know what this is. You've got a secret admirer!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheering and laughing]
Spike: [sighs] Another Hearts and Hooves Day. Love is in the air, Discord. Look at all these happy couples.
Discord: How can they be happy if they aren't playing Ogres & Oubliettes?
Spike: As a great dragon poet once wrote to his beloved, "I love you with the utmost clarity. I love you, dear. My sweet, sweet Rarity—" Are you even listening?!
Discord: Of course. "Love is... something-something, and Discord is great." I don't know. Can we play O&O now?
Spike: Sure, after you admit you believe in love and... Sugar Belle!
[bushes rustle]
Spike: Big Mac's girlfriend. What's she doing in town so early?
Mrs. Cake: Well, Sugar Belle, I'm sure Big Mac won't be expecting it.
Spike: [gasps] She's planning her own romantic surprise for Big Mac? What if she goes to Sweet Apple Acres before Big Mac's ready with his surprise? We've gotta warn him!
Discord: [scoffs, snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: [singing] ...ffle, cookin' a souffle...
[poof!]
Spike: Aah!
[thud]
Big McIntosh: Whoa!
Spike: [slurring] Mig Bac... Mig Bac...! [groans] I mean, Big Mac! We just saw Sugar Belle! She's at Sugarcube Corner! But I think she's on her way over here now! You gotta keep her away from here until the barn's finished!
Big McIntosh: [gasps] Eeyup!
Spike: I wonder what she has planned for him.
Discord: [chuckles] We don't have to wonder. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Spike: Aah!
[bushes rustle]
Spike: Ugh! Will you warn me next time you do that?
[door opens]
[clop, clop, clop]
Mrs. Cake: Just be honest with him. I'm sure Big Mac will... [continues indistinctly]
Spike: Ohhhh. She hasn't seen him yet. Take note, Discord. This is what love is all about.
[poof!]
Discord: "Spike – Love is about spying in the bushes."
Spike: Make fun of me all you want. But look at Big Mac's face and tell me you don't believe in love.
[romantic music]
Discord: [scoffs]
Sugar Belle: I hope he'll be okay without me.
[screech!]
Big McIntosh: [panicked noises]
[bushes rustle]
Spike: Oh. Hey. We're just... not spying—
Big McIntosh: Hush!
Sugar Belle: I mean, he has been on his own before. So he'll be fine, right? [sighs] How should I tell Big Mac tonight? "You won't need to come visit me in my village anymore"? "We need to talk."
Mrs. Cake: Just be honest with him.
Sugar Belle: You're right. Okay! "We're finished."
Big McIntosh: [gasps]
[heart beating]
[crack]
[thud]
Discord: You're right. She did surprise him.
Spike: Ugh.
Big McIntosh: [wailing loudly, gulping]
Spike: Okay. Things seem bad. Maybe they're really not. Maybe "we're finished" was about the day. Ponies say that, right? Like-like, "Hey, remember yesterday? That's finished, 'cause it's today!"
[beat]
Spike: Maybe not that. Oh, I know! Maybe Sugar Belle has a wacky cousin who's never been on his own, and she has to leave him in charge of her shop while she apprentices with Mrs. Cake, who does that, like, two days a week. N-No, no, three. That's why she won't need you to come to her village anymore, because... she'll already be here!
[beat]
Spike: Nah. I don't even buy that one.
Big McIntosh: [continues wailing, gulping] She takes pie-bakin' seriously! Why'd I even try?! I bet she thought I... I was makin' fun of her! [continues wailing]
[poof!]
Discord: Oh, I hate seeing you like this, Big Mac. And over a girl, no less. I'm calling an emergency Guys' Night [poof!] right now to cheer you up.
Big McIntosh: [blows nose]
Discord: Besides, we can't have you ruining any more of my thousand-year-old monogrammed handkerchiefs. These are silk, you know. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: Class is now in session.
[poof!]
Discord: Lesson one – nothing can break your heart if you only love yourself. You've got to show everypony that you're too cool to be bothered with so-called love. Observe.
[poof!]
Discord: This is how cool guys lean against things. When you see a guy leaning against a thing looking this cool, you think, "Wow! That guy doesn't have a care in Equestria. Not a guy who leans on things that cool."
Spike: I don't think leaning's gonna help. Am I doing it right? Whoa!
[thud]
Big McIntosh: [sighs]
Spike: We're not like you, Discord. We can't put on a front and pretend not to love. It's impossible.
Discord: Lesson two – plenty of ponies in the pasture. Right, Big Mac? I know just the gal to make you forget all about Sugar Belle.
Big McIntosh: You... said... her... [wailing] naaaaaaame!
Discord: Oy vey... [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[ponies chattering]
Apple Bloom: Okay. We finished decoratin' the barn for Big Mac, which means we got the rest of the day to ourselves. There's a whole town of possible admirers out there and only three of us. But together, we're gonna get to the bottom of this! Ready? Break! Excuse me! Pipsqueak? Mind answerin' a few questions? No? Late for somethin'? Are you Sweetie Belle's secret admirer?!
Scootaloo: [to Button Mash] Excuse me! I'm doing a research survey about sending pie in the mail anonymously. Would you say you're pro-that or anti-that?
Sweetie Belle: [to Snips and Snails] Happy Hearts and Hooves Day! Did you boys happen to send any packages to me recently? It's okay to say no! I won't be offended! [whispering] Please say no, please say no, please say no.
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: Sir McBigguns, meet Skellinore. She's a Level 18 Bone Warrior in Squizard's mage army, but only to pay off skeleton student loan debts. Get to know each other, why don't you? [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Spike: Wow. You're really going all out to cheer up Big Mac. I'm impressed.
Discord: Yes, yes, I'm amazing. Anyway, since we're in the neighborhood, care for a quick game of Ogres & Oubliettes? Like I've been wanting to play all week?!
Spike: I take it back.
Discord: I'm helping our friend first and foremost. See for yourself.
Spike: I think he's showing her a picture of Sugar Belle.
Discord: What?
Spike: And now he's crying.
Discord: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. No, he's not. Let me see that.
Spike: Don't touch it! I'm looking!
Discord: Give me that!
Spike: Cut it out! Discord, quit it!
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: She used to do this thing where her-her nose would wrinkle when she laughed. Right there, in that hole where your nose used to be. I never told her how much I loved wrinkle-nose cutie-face... [wailing] and now I never will!
Discord: Ugh. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[poof!]
[thud]
Big McIntosh: [crying]
Spike: Okay. I think we've had enough of the aloof master of chaos remedies for a broken heart. You know what I do when I have a problem too big to solve? I hide from it! When she can't find you, she'll realize how much she misses you. Plus, if she can't find you, she can't break up with you.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Hup!
Spike: Ha!
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[door opens]
Scootaloo: [sighs] I don't get it. We asked every stallion in Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: [groans] There's gotta be somepony we're missin'. Somepony obvious. Somepony right in front of our noses.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, well. At least the barn's looking great for Big Mac's date.
[poof!]
Discord: Too bad there won't be a date.
Sweetie Belle: Sugar Belle is so lucky to have a non-secret admirer like Big Mac.
Discord: Well, she certainly doesn't seem to have appreciated it.
Apple Bloom: I bet she's gonna take one look at this barn and say, "What did I ever do to deserve this?"
Discord: [whispering] Yes, what did she do to deserve this?
Big McIntosh: She broke my heart.
Discord: Well, not yet, technically. In fact, she can't break your heart if you break hers first.
Big McIntosh: [angrily] Eeyup!
Sugar Belle: Thanks for the tour of Ponyville, Mrs. Cake.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, my pleasure.
Sugar Belle: I'm off to surprise Big Mac with the news. Imagine the look on his face when I tell him, "We need to talk."
Mrs. Cake: Oh, dear me, no! I told you, don't say it that way or he'll think you're breaking up with him.
Sugar Belle: Break up with him? Never! Why, without my favorite delivery pony, I couldn't imagine being happy ever again. He knows that.
Mrs. Cake: Good! Save your mix-up for cake batter – that's what I always say! [chuckles]
Sugar Belle: He's a good listener, that pony. I promise you, no mix-ups.
[poof!]
Sugar Belle: Ah! Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: Sugar Belle... we need to talk.
Big McIntosh: I know why you're here.
Sugar Belle: You do?
Big McIntosh: But I have somethin' to tell you first.
Sugar Belle: Oh, can I go first? I'm gonna be—
Big McIntosh: Stop.
Sugar Belle: Oh. Why don't we tell each other on three? One—
Big McIntosh: It's over!
Sugar Belle: What's over?
Big McIntosh: You and me. It's over.
Sugar Belle: Ah... What?
Big McIntosh: We're breakin' up!
Sugar Belle: I... don't understand. Why are you breaking up with me? And why are you leaning like that?
Big McIntosh: I... don't know!
Sugar Belle: Big Mac, please. Talk to me.
Big McIntosh: I... You... [loud groan] This is why I don't like talkin'! Words can hurt! Words hurt! Goodbye, Sugar Belle!
[door slams]
Sugar Belle: [crying]
[sad montage music]
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: Big Mac! Oh, thank goodness! You gotta help us with this.
[rustling]
Spike: Ugh. Dude, how long have you been not hiding?
[poof!]
Discord: Oh. I should probably have said something.
Big McIntosh: Y'all should go.
Spike: Did ya...? Did she...? Are ya...?
Apple Bloom: Big Mac, what's goin' on? Where's Sugar Belle?
Big McIntosh: Just go!
Sweetie Belle: But we worked so hard on this chart. I think we've almost cracked it. If you could just—
Big McIntosh: Not right now!
Sweetie Belle: But I can't stand having a secret admirer who's too scared to tell me who he is!
Big McIntosh: Maybe he doesn't like talkin'!
Sweetie Belle: But that doesn't make any sense!
Big McIntosh: Maybe he used to talk too much, and it only ever got him into trouble!
Spike: [sighs] What if you're right, Discord? What if love isn't real at all?
[ding!]
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle. I'm just mad, and I'm takin' it out on you.
Sweetie Belle: That's okay. I bet it felt good to get it out though.
Big McIntosh: Actually, it did. Tellin' you how I felt just then... I gotta go!
Spike: Big Mac! Where are ya goin'?
Big McIntosh: I gotta talk to Sugar Belle!
Spike: Discord, you gotta use your magic and...! Guess you have better things to do. Big Mac's gonna need a miracle.
Sugar Belle: [sighs]
[clatter]
Sugar Belle: Oh. All the rotten luck...
[splash]
Big McIntosh: Caught ya just in time! We both know I don't like to say much, but I'm gonna say somethin' now. [sighs] Even though I'm hurtin', I wouldn't trade this feelin' for anythin'. Because it'd mean givin' up the good times we had, too. I only broke up with you because you were gonna break up with me. I respect your decision, and you should know you'll always be in my heart.
Sugar Belle: I didn't want to break up with you.
Big McIntosh: But... you said you didn't need me to visit anymore. You said I'm gonna be on my own. I-I heard you said "we're finished" when I was hidin' in the bushes.
[beat]
Big McIntosh: That sounds worse than it is.
Sugar Belle: Oh, Big Mac! I was talking about my cousin! I have this wacky cousin who's never been on his own, but I have to let him run my shop on weekends. Which is why you won't be delivering to my village anymore because I'll already be here apprenticing with Mrs. Cake, who does that two days a week. No, three.
Big McIntosh: Wait 'til I tell Spike!
Sugar Belle: I'd never break up with you! I suppose there's a lesson here somewhere about communication, talking instead of assuming, or eavesdropping is wrong. Wouldn't you say?
Big McIntosh: Eeeeyup!
Sugar Belle: [giggles, snorts]
Big McIntosh: Hee-hee. Wrinkle-nose cutie-face. [kisses] You must've been awful confused at my breakin' up with you after you got my pie.
Sugar Belle: What pie?
Big McIntosh: You didn't get the pie I sent?
Sugar Belle: Mm-mm.
Big McIntosh: Or the invitation?
Sugar Belle: Uh-uh.
Big McIntosh: Well, in that case... allow me to escort you to a Hearts and Hooves Day surprise!
Sugar Belle: [giggles, snorts]
[birds chirping]
Sweetie Belle: [sighs]
Apple Bloom: Mind if we join ya?
Sweetie Belle: [chomp] [reading] "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle. Meet me—"
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Sugar Belle?!
Scootaloo: You have got to be pulling our hooves!
Sweetie Belle: It was all a mix-up?!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laughing]
Sweetie Belle: Oh, it's funny. I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself for not having a special pony on Hearts and Hooves Day. But remembering all the fun we had, I think I have two special ponies – my two best friends.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: Awwwww...
Spike: [sighs] And so ends another Hearts and Hooves Day. Despite a bumpy start... and middle... and ending... lot of bumps today... love was in the air.
Discord: So was confusion, apparently, and a fair number of assumptions.
Spike: But you have to admit, after seeing everything Big Mac went through, love is a hundred percent real.
Discord: [humming]
Spike: Seriously?! Discord, come on! I can't believe you!
Discord: Who do you think broke Sugar Belle's wagon wheel?
[thud]
Discord: Ta-da! Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!
Spike: You old softie. [laughs] I knew you had a heart.
Discord: Speaking of how great I am, are you busy for the rest of the night? [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
Discord: Calico's Ring of Imperceptibility isn't going to reclaim itself, you know.
Spike: Ogres & Oubliettes? I thought you'd never ask! Oh, and... just wondering. No biggie, but... is Skellinore gonna be there?
Discord: Spike, she's an imaginary one-dimensional paper cutout skeleton.
Spike: Well, nopony's perfect.
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[credits]

Molt Down

Rarity: I do appreciate you showing me the way to the phoenix nests, Spike.
Spike: Anything for you, Rarity. Besides, I've been meaning to visit Peewee.
Rarity: He really was an excellent pet. I can't imagine why you set him free.
Spike: Phoenixes aren't meant to be domesticated. Even in the wild, they like to keep to themselves.
Rarity: Well, they are beautiful. A few of their feathers will add just the right splash of color to my latest— Spike! What are you doing?
Spike: Uh, nothing!
Rarity: Is there something wrong with your face?
Spike: [sighs] It's a stone scale. It isn't magical or anything like the call of the Dragon Lord. It's just... red. And itchy. [groans] And embarrassing.
[throbbing]
Rarity: Ooh, precious pants, that does look uncomfortable. But even I get the odd blemish from time to time. It's nothing to be embarrassed by. You could pay Zecora a visit. She makes a cream that works wonders. Just don't get the shampoo.
Spike: There's Peewee's parents! But I don't see Peewee.
Rarity: Oh, maybe he moved out. Everypony has to leave the nest at some point.
[fluttering]
Spike: Peewee!
Peewee: [squawks]
[sizzle]
Spike: Ouch! [scratching]
Rarity: Perhaps you should pay Zecora a visit sooner rather than later.
Spike: [sighs] I don't want anypony else to see this. Besides, I'm sure it'll clear up after a good night's sleep.
Spike: [snoring]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you're still asleep!
Spike: [groans] Just five more minutes... [continues snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: It's nearly noon, and you promised to help me with my lecture for class today!
Spike: Noon? Whoa! I slept like a rock! Which reminds me – all that sleep probably cleared up my stone scale!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Um, on second thought... [chuckles nervously] You can go back to sleep if you want.
Spike: [screams]
[theme song]
[curtains drawing]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: Hiding from my hideous face!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure it feels terrible, but it's just a breakout. It's not the end of the world.
Spike: That's easy for you to say. Your face isn't covered in itchy red spots! [scratching]
Twilight Sparkle: I used to get terrible breakouts any time I had a final exam with Celestia. Who probably never had a blemish her whole life.
Spike: Well, I'm not in magic school.
Twilight Sparkle: No, but these things can be stress-related. And you did spend yesterday with Rarity.
Spike: [chuckles nervously] What could possibly be stressful about that?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] You could try Zecora. She makes a cream that—
Spike: Works wonders. I've heard. But I'm not leaving the castle until my face is back to its adorable self. [winces]
Twilight Sparkle: Fine. But you're still gonna help me practice my lecture.
Spike: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] The element of generosity and its importance in relation to the other Elements of Harmony—
Spike: [gags, breathes fire]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] My lecture!
Spike: I don't know what happened! I just had a sudden case of— [gags]
[teleportation zap]
Spike: [breathes fire]
[teleportation zap]
[fire extinguisher spraying]
Spike: ...indigestion. I'm so sorry!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] It's okay. I'm sure I can rewrite the lecture from my notes. I have a lot.
Spike: I can help you with—
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you should leave the castle after all. And go somewhere less... flammable?
Spike: [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Spike: Hey there, not handsome.
Rarity: [singsongy] Oh, Spike! My, what a fetching ensemble you put together. Very noir-esque. [giggles] I believe Shadow Spade herself would approve.
Spike: Uh, thanks.
Rarity: But I wonder if you wouldn't mind taking it off.
Spike: What? Oh, I, uh... I... [muttering lowly]
Rarity: Sorry, you'll have to speak up. My ears are a little bit clogged or something. It's just that I absolutely must have a model for my phoenix feather dress, and nopony else is available.
Spike: Sorry, Rarity, but I... I am super busy all day giving... tours of the school!
Pinkie Pie: Really? I thought I was giving tours today. Guess not. Free day! Whee! Woo-hoo!
Spike: Classrooms are that way. [groans] Dorms are that way. [groans] Twilight's office is up there. This is a fountain.
Tourist Pony: [panting] Could you slow down a bit? We've come a long way to see the school, and I don't wanna miss anything.
Spike: Oh. Um, yeah. [wincing, scratching] Sorry.
Tourist Pony: I-Is something wrong?
Spike: What? Why? No! [scratching]
Tourist Pony: Uh, do all the dragons at this school suffer from scale issues?
Spike: [low voice] I don't know.
Tourist Pony: What?
Spike: [low voice, straining] I don't... know!
Tourist Pony: I-I'm sorry, did-did you say "firework show"?
Spike: [low voice] I said... [loudly, echoing] I don't know! [gasps]
Spike: [echoing] This is the school library! It's one of the most serene spots on campus, where students can spend time in quiet reflection or study! What?!
Smolder: Could you please stop shouting? We're trying to do our homework, and it's kind of distracting.
Spike: [loud voice] Was I shouting?!
[affirmative muttering]
Spike: [clears throat, normal volume] I have no idea what you're talking— Ulp! [belches, breathes fire]
[thud]
Spike: [gasps and groans]
Spike: [breathing fire]
[door opens]
Smolder: If you're trying to hide, you need to do a better job. All I had to do was follow the smoke.
[door closes]
Spike: [low voice, straining] Leave me alone!
Smolder: What?
Spike: [low voice, straining] Leave! Me! Alone!
Smolder: I can't under... Was that "sleeves made of foam"?
Spike: [low voice] I said, leave [normal voice] me alone! [belches, breathes fire, sighs]
Smolder: [laughs] Wow! I have seen some pretty bad molts in my time, but yours takes the cake!
Spike: Molts?
Smolder: The molt? Super painful stone scales, fire burps, uncontrollable volume shifts? It's all part of growing up dragon. Congrats!
[smack!]
Spike: [groans and winces]
Smolder: Oh. Sorry.
Spike: No-no-no-no-no. The last time I grew up, I turned into a giant greedy monster.
Smolder: Greed-induced bigness. That's totally different. The molt is completely normal. Every dragon goes through it. Pretty soon, you'll leave and strike out on your own.
Spike: Why would I do that?
Smolder: Have you been living with ponies your whole life?
Spike: Uh-huh.
Smolder: Oh. Well, in the Dragon Lands, a molter's loved ones kicks them out at the first stone scale.
Spike: What? Why?
Smolder: I think it's biological. We call it the "molt effect". I haven't even told you about the smell.
Spike: Smell? [sniffs] Ugh!
Smolder: Yeah. I mean, I love my brother and all, but one whiff, and I was all "See ya!" [sniffs] Speaking of which...
Spike: Wait! Does the molt effect happen to ponies too? [gasps] Twilight already asked me to leave the castle today. If she kicks me out, where am I gonna live? I'm too young to grow up!
Smolder: I'm sure you'll find a nice...
[thud]
Smolder: ...hoard of gems to guard or a village to terrorize. Oh, now that dragons and ponies are friends, I guess that's off the table.
Spike: So no creature's gonna wanna be around me?
Smolder: Oh, I didn't say that. That molt stench is a magnet for predators. Tatzlwurms, hydras, rocs...
Spike: Dragons are scared of rocks?
Smolder: R-O-C-S. Rocs? Humongous birds of prey that can snack on a molting dragon like candy!
Spike: [low voice] So Twilight's kicking me out, and the only creatures who don't find me disgusting want to eat me?
Smolder: Seriously, I heard none of that.
Spike: [loud voice] Twilight's kicking me out, and the only creatures who don't find me disgusting want to eat me?!
Smolder: Congrats!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [shouting] Hey! Is this the shouting closet?! Because I've got a free day, and I'm totally up for some shouting! [sniffs] [normal voice] Also, where's that brussel-sprouts-covered-in-cotton-candy smell coming from? Because it is really interesting.
Spike: I didn't know where else to go. I can't take the chance that Twilight will kick me out. You aren't feeling any molt effects, are you?
Zecora: [nose plugged] When it comes to breakouts, I've seen all circumstances. But as with the molt smell... let's not take any chances.
Spike: [scratches, sighs] Is there anything you can do to cure me?
Zecora: The ailments you have aren't something to cure. The molt's a condition that dragons endure.
Spike: [scratches] But if anypony sees or smells me right now, they'll be so grossed out, they'll avoid me forever!
Zecora: Perhaps we can lessen this strange molt effect. The smell is the most likely cause, I suspect.
Spike: [low voice] It's all so embarrassing.
Zecora: I know you are speaking, but I can't hear a thing. Are you talking about teaching asparagus to sing?
Spike: [low voice] I said it's [loud voice] embarrassing!
Zecora: If the goal is to not have your friends all depart, perhaps your volume is where we should start.
[stomach rumbling]
Spike: Oh, no. [gags, belches, breathes fire, sighs]
Rarity: Zecora! Hello? Are you there?
Spike: [loud voice] I can't let Rarity see me like this! Please don't let her know I'm here!
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Rarity: [loudly] Oh, dear! I'm talking even louder than I thought, aren't I?!
Zecora: I have volume concerns today by the scores. But it seems that I'm ready to help you with yours.
Rarity: [loudly] Eh, I-I'm sorry?! I can't seem to hear anything! I was hoping you could help! I have no idea what happened! One minute, I was sewing phoenix feathers onto a dress, and the next I couldn't hear my own voice!
Zecora: Ah, the feathers of that bird can affect ponies' ears. It's a magic ailment I've treated for years.
Rarity: [loudly] I only know you're talking 'cause your mouth is going up and down. [sighs, sniffs, coughs] [normal volume] Oh, goodness! I hope that incredibly pungent odor belongs to some sort of magical curative. [loudly] I hope you're not busy, but I must have my hearing back! It turns out that I talk to myself while I sew, and without that conversation, I simply can't think!
Zecora: It's a simple cure, and the directions are clear. Just one or two drops in each of your ears.
Rarity: [sighs, normal volume] Oh, thank you. You're an ear saver. [loudly] Oh, and while I am here, do you have any blemish cream?! Spike is having some scale issues!
Spike: [loud voice] You have no idea!
Rarity: [gasps, normal voice] I think I heard something! [loudly] Your cure is working already!
Zecora: The cream that you want is just over here. It's a popular potion for all creatures this year.
Rarity: [sighs, normal voice] Thank you, Zecora.
[window creaks]
[door opens]
Rarity: [loudly] I don't mean to be rude, but I do think your hut could use an airing out!
Zecora: Rarity's gone. There's no need to hide. [sniffs, groans] Though I wonder if we should continue outside. Can't treat your symptoms down there on the ground. It's safe to come out. There's no ponies around.
Spike: I'm not hiding from ponies. I'm hiding from that!
[roc screeches]
[roc screeches]
Spike: Did I forget to mention the molt smell attracts predators?
Zecora: That's something that would've been quite nice to know! But it's not worth discussing right now! We should go!
[roc screeching]
Spike: It's only after me! I'll lead it away while you get help! This way, birdy-bird! Molting dragon over here! [grunting and huffing]
[leaves rustling]
Spike: Okay, maybe this wasn't a good plan.
Zecora: You can't hide in a tree! You have to come down! We stand a much better chance on the ground! [screams]
Spike: Zecora! Bring her back! [groans, scratches]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [panting]
[thud]
Rarity: Oh, Spike. What are you doing here?
Spike: Rarity! You have to get out of here! There's a giant roc trying to eat me! It's got Zecora!
Rarity: Yes, what? [loudly] I was just at Zecora's, but I'm heading back! I can't read these instructions! Does this say "two drops once a day" or "one drop twice a day"?!
Spike: Rarity, there's no time! We have to get help!
Rarity: [loudly] Yes, my ears are completely clogged! Why, Spike! Your stone scales look worse! Oh, here! I picked up just the thing. Ah—
[roc screeches]
Rarity: [screams]
Zecora: Oh, I wish you'd escaped either claw of this bird! But the both of us trapped in the same one's absurd!
Rarity: [loudly] What?!
Spike: [groans] Let my ponies go!
[thudding]
Spike: Whoa! [breathes fire]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [screams, groaning]
[grinding sounds]
Spike: [sighs, scratches, wailing groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: If my stone scales didn't itch so much and we weren't in immediate danger, this would be [chuckles] really embarrassing!
Twilight Sparkle: Danger?
[roc screeching]
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I was headed to Zecora's to get some cream for your scales. I had no idea you were—
Spike: [groans] About to be eaten by a giant predator attracted to my molt smell?! [scratches]
Twilight Sparkle: Molt smell?
[roc screeches]
Rarity: [high-pitched] Twilight!
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Was that Rarity?
Spike: And Zecora! I tried to save them, but it's all I can do to stop scratching long enough to dive out of the way when that bird attacks!
[magic zaps]
Rarity: [loudly] This isn't the first time I've been in the clutches of a horrible giant creature, but it doesn't get any easier! [cries]
[magic zaps]
Spike: [gasps, sighs] Finally! I didn't think that itching would ever stop!
[cracking sounds]
Spike: What's happening?! I... I can't move!
[magic zaps]
[cracking sounds]
Spike: What just... happened? Did I just sprout wings? I just sprouted wings!
[magic zaps]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [gasps] I've gotta help them! W-Whoa! Whooaaa! [yelping]
[thuds]
[magic zaps]
Spike: Whoops.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?! How did you get wings?!
Spike: I don't know! But they're pretty aweso– Whoa!
[roc screeches]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you think you can fly up and distract him while I work on freeing Zecora and Rarity?
Spike: Hey, giant chicken! If you like dragons so much, come and get me!
[beak snapping]
Spike: Greetings.
[beak snaps]
[stomach rumbling]
Spike: [breathes fire]
Rarity: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Zecora: I know that the molt produced surprising things. But I'm glad that the last was a new pair of wings!
Rarity: [loudly] Yes! And also, I'm glad you've got wings!
Twilight Sparkle: This is amazing! I didn't know if you'd ever get wings. I'm so happy for you. Does it have something to do with this molt you were talking about?
Spike: [sighs] It's what's been going on with me. The breakout, the fire burps. The molt is when dragons get older and start to change. I wish I could stop it, but I can't. I-I should go.
Twilight Sparkle: Go? What are you talking about?
Spike: In the Dragon Lands, families make molters leave home. It's called the molt effect.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this isn't the Dragon Lands, and molt effect or no, I don't want you going anywhere.
Spike: But I'm growing up. What if something even worse happens?
Twilight Sparkle: You're supposed to grow up, but you'll always be you. And whatever happens, we'll get through it together.
Spike: Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Look at me! Let's go home!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I don't need to carry you anymore, do I? You have wings.
Spike: They are new, and I don't want to overdo it.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rarity: I can't believe you thought any of us would send you away because of some silly molt effect. [sighs] Even if the symptoms were slightly unsettling. And let's face it, the odor wasn't pleasant. Nopony would stop caring for you just because you were getting older. Everypony goes through changes, but sometimes change can be wonderful. Like being able to model for any length of dress! [giggles] Uh, a bit higher, darling, please?
Spike: I'm glad to help, Rarity. But don't you think there's wonderful things about flying that don't involve dresses?
Rarity: Of course, darling. Flying will also be beneficial for you to help me with gowns, frocks, robes, shifts, skirts, minis, maxis... [fades out]
Spike: [sighs]
[credits]

Marks for Effort

Constance: [tweeting]
[leaves rustling]
Scootaloo: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Apple Bloom: [grunting]
Scootaloo: Almost... there...
Apple Bloom: Ah! I can't wait! Twilight's school is supposed to be amazin' inside!
Sweetie Belle: [whispering] Rarity says there's never been a school like it!
Scootaloo: [grunting] I heard the students get to do tons of awesome stuff!
Apple Bloom: Do ya see anything yet?
Scootaloo: Uh, yeah. It looks like a broom! And a dustpan and some buckets.
Sweetie Belle: That sounds like a closet.
Apple Bloom: Try another window.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Scootaloo: Whoa...
Pinkie Pie: Whooooo's ready for cupcakes?!
[music]
Gallus: [slurps]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, they're not for you, silly. They're for sharing! First, say something nice like this. Ocellus, you are a great listener! Now you get to keep one cupcake and share one with another creature.
Ocellus: Yona, you're really strong!
Yona: [chomps]
[crashes]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh!
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa!
[thud]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [oohing and ahhing]
Fluttershy: All right, students! It's time to meet some new friends!
Students: [excited chatter]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [oohing and ahhing]
Applejack: Incomin'! [grunts]
Students: [laughter]
Applejack: That's friendship in action, y'all!
Students: [excited chatter]
Sweetie Belle: Wow! And I thought our school was fun!
Scootaloo: Yeah! Miss Cheerilee never lets us play buckball in class. I know. I've tried.
Apple Bloom: Hey! Why don't we go here instead? It's still school, right?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheering] Great idea!
Apple Bloom: [sighs] What could be better than learnin' friendship with your best friends?
Pinkie Pie: Learning friendship with your best friends... and cake! [munches]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggling]
[theme song]
[indistinct chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] Good morning, class. Today, we're going to learn about friendship through the ages. Spike, slide one, please.
[slide projector turns on]
Twilight Sparkle: Back in the days of Chancellor Puddinghead... Uh, Spike?
Spike: Huh? Sorry, Twilight. Still getting used to my new wings. They're pretty great, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Spike. As I was saying... Huh? What are you three doing here?
Apple Bloom: We wanna go to your school!
Twilight Sparkle: But why?
Sweetie Belle: We wanna learn friendship!
Scootaloo: And play buckball!
Twilight Sparkle: I see. Why don't you three come with me? Spike, you're in charge.
Spike: Yes!
Starlight Glimmer: Hi, Twilight! Looks like you could use a guidance counselor's help! Hint, hint.
Twilight Sparkle: No, thanks, Starlight. I've got this.
Starlight Glimmer: [sadly] Great. Well, I'll just... go dust my office for the seventieth time.
Twilight Sparkle: [to Cutie Mark Crusaders] I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but... you can't be my students.
Sweetie Belle: Why not?
Scootaloo: Isn't this place for everycreature?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but we teach friendship lessons here. You already know all about helping ponies in need and being there for each other.
Sweetie Belle: Can't you just give us a chance?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaase?
Twilight Sparkle: You need Cheerilee's classes, not mine. Hurry up. You don't want late marks on your permanent record.
[door opens]
Students: O dragon! My dragon!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?! What did you do?
Spike: [laughs nervously]
[door closes]
Scootaloo: [sighs] Well, I'm not giving up! I know we can prove we belong in this school!
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! Um... how?
Apple Bloom: By showin' Twilight we've still got lots to learn about friendship. And I know just where to start.
[squish]
Applejack: [grunts] What in tarnation? Apple Bloom! You know better than to leave our good tools out like that! And aren't you supposed to be on harvest duty right now?
Apple Bloom: Eh, it's not like the apples are goin' anywhere.
Applejack: [stammering] What's gotten into you? Those chores are your responsibility! Farm work is family work!
Apple Bloom: Sorry, Applejack. Maybe if I went to Twilight's school, I'd learn to be better at helpin' the family.
Applejack: Ahhh. So that's what this is all about. Well, if it's learnin' you want, I'd be happy to give you a private lesson right now... [angrily] Startin' with cleanin' up all this equipment!
Apple Bloom: Hmph!
Sweetie Belle: Please can I go to Twilight's school?!
Rarity: [screams, sighs, sighs again]
Sweetie Belle: Please? Please?!
Rarity: I'm going to call you "Repeatie Belle"! We've been through this! Please let me concentrate! [sighs]
Sweetie Belle: How 'bout now?
Rainbow Dash: So there I was, leading the Wonderbolt formation into a super dangerous Sundown Spiral, when suddenly... [imitates whooshing] There was a huge storm cloud in our way!
"Citrine Spark": What happened?
Rainbow Dash: My genius happened! I changed the routine on the fly! And because my crew are such tight friends, they followed me!
"Berry Bliss": [gasps] What did you do?!
Rainbow Dash: Only the coolest thing ever! I flew up and—
Scootaloo: Did a super-amazing half-twist into a backflip sonic rainboom?!
Rainbow Dash: Hey! I never told that story to my students before. Scootaloo!
Scootaloo: [laughs nervously] Never met her. [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Sweetie Belle: They're coming! Get ready!
[scooting]
[whirrs]
Scootaloo: Look out!
Apple Bloom: [stiltedly] Look out! Whoa!
Scootaloo: [grunts]
[thudding]
Scootaloo: [stiltedly] Hey! Watch where you are going!
Apple Bloom: [stiltedly] I was watching! Watching you drive like a crazy pony!
Scootaloo: [stiltedly] Well, maybe if you did not drop apples all over the street, I would not have to!
Fluttershy: Ooh. I've never seen Apple Bloom and Scootaloo argue like this.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. They usually go together like candy canes and stripes.
Sweetie Belle: Whoa! Oof!
Apple Bloom: [stiltedly] My apples? This is all your fault, Scootaloo!
Scootaloo: [stiltedly] Hey, Sweetie Belle is the clumsy one!
Sweetie Belle: [stiltedly] I'm not talking to either one of you ever again!
Fluttershy: Goodness. They seem really upset.
Pinkie Pie: It's almost like they forgot they're friends.
Scootaloo: [quietly] I think it's working!
Sweetie Belle: [stiltedly] You are so careless! [quietly] Good plan, Apple Bloom!
Apple Bloom: [stiltedly] Careless? I will show you who is the one who is careless! [quietly] And great acting, Sweetie Belle!
Scootaloo: [out loud] We're an awesome team!
Apple Bloom: All right!
Pinkie Pie: Yay!
Apple Bloom: Oops.
Pinkie Pie: You're friends again! I knew you would be! Candy cane stripes forever!
[party cannon squeak]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sighs]
Scootaloo: Now they'll never let us into Twilight's school.
Apple Bloom: Okay, we've tried shirkin' chores, pesterin', disguises, fightin'.
Sweetie Belle: Hmmm... We need to do something new. Something unexpected.
[muffled crying]
Apple Bloom: Great idea, Scootaloo! We haven't tried cryin' yet.
Sweetie Belle: Yeah! It always works for Rarity.
Scootaloo: I wasn't crying. I think it's coming from outside.
Cozy Glow: [crying]
Sweetie Belle: Aww. She looks so sad. We better go see what's wrong.
Cozy Glow: [continues crying]
Apple Bloom: Hey. Are you okay?
Cozy Glow: Oh. Thank you for asking. But no. I'm having real trouble with... [sniffling] ...the School of Friendship.
Scootaloo: Twilight won't let you go either, huh?
Cozy Glow: Oh, no, it's not that. I'm in her class, but... [sniffling] ...it's too hard! [crying]
Sweetie Belle: Really?
Cozy Glow: I just moved here to go to school, but everything's so new and different. I don't know anypony.
Apple Bloom: Well, now you do. I'm Apple Bloom. This is Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Cozy Glow: [sniffs] I'm Cozy Glow. It's very nice to meet you, but I don't know if I'll stay long. I'll probably flunk out. I'm having so much trouble with my friendship lessons.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasps]
Sweetie Belle: We can help with those!
Scootaloo: We know all about friendship!
Apple Bloom: And studyin' with you would be almost as good as bein' in class!
Cozy Glow: But why would you help me? What's in it for you?
Sweetie Belle: That's how friendship works. When you give from your heart, you don't expect anything back.
Cozy Glow: Well, golly, if you really mean it...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Uh-huh!
Cozy Glow: I could use some help with my homework. I have to do something nice for each of these ponies. But I don't know anything about them. And it's so hard to talk to ponies you've never met.
Apple Bloom: Well, you're in luck, 'cause we know all of those ponies!
Scootaloo: Get ready for a friendship A-plus!
[zoom!]
Scootaloo: That's Bon Bon. If you wanna do something nice for her, first you gotta figure out what she needs.
Cozy Glow: Well, how am I supposed to do that?
Scootaloo: Just pay attention. Friendship is about listening to others.
Sweetie Drops: Ow. Ow.
Scootaloo: Uh-oh. That cactus keeps pricking her every step she takes. Hmm, if only there was something to protect her from those spines.
Sweetie Drops: [winces]
Cozy Glow: It looks like you need help carrying your cactus, so here's a safe way to take it home. [laughs nervously]
Sweetie Drops: Thank you! That's so thoughtful.
Cozy Glow: I did it!
Scootaloo: Good job! But, uh, next time, maybe don't give away my helmet.
Cozy Glow: Oopsie.
Sweetie Belle: Green, purple, yellow. And one more purple. Whew. Sorting all those took longer than I thought.
Cozy Glow: You really think Mrs. Cake will like these new sprinkle shakers?
Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm. Now she won't have to use rainbow sprinkles all the time. She can just pick the color she wants!
[bell ringing]
Mrs. Cake: Ooh! I'm sorry, I was out to lunch. Were you fillies waiting for me long?
Cozy Glow: No. Um, these are for you!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, well, what a lovely surprise! I can't wait to try them out!
[sprinkles shaking]
Mrs. Cake: Look! I made rainbow sprinkles! Aren't they wonderful?
Cozy Glow: But... she... I... [groans]
Sweetie Belle: At least she likes her present?
Cozy Glow: Uh-huh...
[thuds]
[whistling]
Cozy Glow: Golly. How'd you know that would make him so happy?
Apple Bloom: Friendship means pitchin' in to help others' chores go faster. 'Specially when their special somepony's waitin' for 'em.
[school bell ringing]
[students chattering and laughing]
Scootaloo: [groans] That class was so boring!
Sweetie Belle: Not even Miss Cheerilee can make the history of radishes exciting.
Apple Bloom: I bet they don't have to learn about that stuff at Twilight's school.
[zoom!]
[crash!]
Cozy Glow: Guess what! I got an A on my homework!
Scootaloo: [cheers]
Apple Bloom: Nice goin'!
Cozy Glow: And I never could have done it without your help!
Sweetie Belle: No problem!
Scootaloo: We just wish we could have done more.
Cozy Glow: Actually, you can. Headmare Twilight is giving us a big test at the end of the week, and I could really use your help studying.
Apple Bloom: We wanted to go to Twilight's school more than anything. But helpin' you has been even more fun! You can count on us!
[montage music]
[Angel munching]
[magic noises]
Cozy Glow: Um... intelligence?
[magic noises]
[clattering]
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: [giggles]
[music continues]
Apple Bloom and Cozy Glow: [giggling]
Cozy Glow: Laughter?
Sweetie Belle: Yes!
Cozy Glow: Is it... control?
[wind blowing]
[bushes rustling]
Cozy Glow: Kindness! Loyalty! Honesty! Generosity! Laughter! Magic!
Cutie Mark Crusaders and Cozy Glow: [cheering]
[students laughing]
Apple Bloom: How'd the test go?
Sweetie Belle: Were there essay questions?
Scootaloo: Did you remember what we taught you?
Cozy Glow: I... failed! [crying]
Apple Bloom: But how could Cozy Glow fail her friendship test?
Twilight Sparkle: Ahem. I'd like to see you three in my office!
Scootaloo: [quietly] I know we wanted to be invited inside, but it kinda went different in my head.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you'd do something like this!
Apple Bloom: Like what?
Twilight Sparkle: You are Cozy Glow's tutors, aren't you?
Scootaloo: We've been working with her for days!
Twilight Sparkle: That's what she told me. So you've been setting her up to fail?
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: What?!
Apple Bloom: How?!
Twilight Sparkle: I know you're upset that I won't let you come to my school, but to teach Cozy all the wrong things out of spite... That's just cruel!
Sweetie Belle: But we taught her all the right things!
Twilight Sparkle: Then how do you explain these friendship test answers? [reading] "What are the six Elements of Harmony?" Five turtlenecks and a cheese grater? "Who is the Princess of Friendship?" Your mom?
Apple Bloom: I... I don't understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Me neither. I never thought you three would pull such a mean prank. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to stay away from my school. And my students.
[door closes]
Cozy Glow: Oh, no!
Starlight Glimmer: Hmm? [dryly] Yay. Now I'll alphabetize them in reverse order. [sighs] Not much need for a guidance counselor at a school of friendship.
Cozy Glow: [clearing throat]
Starlight Glimmer: Aah!
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: How much of that did you hear?! Uh, never mind.
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously] Welcome! Can I get you a comfort pillow? Security blanket? Empathy cocoa?
Cozy Glow: Uh, I just need some advice.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! Well, I have plenty of that! Anecdotes, insight, midnight confessions... I'm babbling. [clears throat] Go ahead. I'm listening.
Cozy Glow: I think I got my friends in trouble. They helped me study for my friendship test, and I failed it... on purpose.
Starlight Glimmer: Why would you do that? Uh, sorry. Listening. [sips cocoa]
Cozy Glow: Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders wanted to go to this school more than anything. So I thought if I showed Headmare Twilight they're bad at friendship, she'd let them come here with me.
Starlight Glimmer: That's devious. I-I mean, I see. [sips cocoa]
Cozy Glow: I guess I still have a lot to learn about friendship.
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, I think you're doing all right. Sure, that was a really, really bad way to try to help your friends, but what matters is you wanted to. The reason the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't go to this school is because they'd make better teachers than students.
Cozy Glow: So you do have a place for them here?
Starlight Glimmer: Hmmm...
[students chattering]
[scraping]
Apple Bloom: [groans] I bet there's no "Wonderful World of Cleaning" lesson at Twilight's school.
Sweetie Belle: [coughs] We'll never find out now.
Scootaloo: [sighs] I still don't get how Cozy failed her test after all that studying.
Sweetie Belle: Or how Twilight could blame us for it!
Apple Bloom: Or how gum can be so sticky!
[knock on door]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry to interrupt, Miss Cheerilee. But can I borrow Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo?
[ominous music]
Scootaloo: We didn't do anything wrong! We promise!
Twilight Sparkle: I know that. Now. Which is why I wanted to talk to you.
Sweetie Belle: Wait. So we're not in trouble?
Starlight Glimmer: Just the opposite. Cozy Glow, is there something you'd like to say?
Cozy Glow: This is all my fault. I messed up my test on purpose so we could all go to school together. I'm sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, Cozy Glow. Honesty is one of the pillars of friendship. [to Cutie Mark Crusaders] But you already know that. Which is why I'd like to give you these.
[thud]
Spike: [groans]
Applejack: They're honorary diplomas, makin' y'all official graduates of this here school.
Rarity: You've more than earned them.
Rainbow Dash: Without even having to study!
Pinkie Pie: [cheering]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [chanting] We are graduates! We are graduates! We are graduates!
Twilight Sparkle: And if you're interested, I think Starlight has a place for you at my school after all.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Woo-hoo!
Starlight Glimmer: We could use some friendship tutors on staff. And I hear you're the best out there.
Apple Bloom: Then what are we waitin' for? Let's get tutorin'! Come on, Cozy!
Twilight Sparkle: And that's why this school needs you as our guidance counselor.
Cutie Mark Crusaders and Cozy Glow: [laughing]
[credits]

The Mean 6

Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I've been planning this retreat for weeks, and we're already ten minutes behind! Where is that photographer?!
Photographer: ...No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
[doors open]
Photographer: I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me? I don't expect you to forgive me... Forgive me?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: Of course. I'll help you set up your—
Photographer: Princess Twilight, thanks so much for this! The Canterlot Historical Society is thrilled to document the friendship work your teachers do! Let me just pretty you all up!
[poink!]
Photographer: Ooh!
[poink!]
[poink!]
Photographer: [giggles] Ooh!
[poink!]
[poink!]
Rainbow Dash: Ow! Hey!
Photographer: Don't want a single hair out of place, do we? This is for the history books! Now...
[camera flashing]
Photographer: Well, that's that! Bye!
Pinkie Pie: Waaaait! You forgot Starlight! She needs a picture, too!
Photographer: 'Kay.
[camera flashing]
Photographer: Now I'll get out of your manes. I know how busy you are.
[ominous music]
Photographer: Now I have everything I need.
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: [maniacal laughter]
[theme song]
Queen Chrysalis: Yes, I know! We have been planning this for quite some time. [laughing evilly] Oh, thank you, Applejack. My spell can create a copy of anypony I desire. All I need is an image and a piece of the pony. [sniffs] Oh, and this.
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Why copies, Rarity? Because Princess Twilight and her friends control the Elements of Harmony, the most powerful weapon in all Equestria.
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Which means you - will - be - able - to - use - them - too!
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: And serve me!
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Together, we will destroy Twilight Sparkle and her meddlesome friends!
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Of course I haven't forgotten Starlight Glimmer! She stole my hive. Turned my subjects against me! So I'll take her friends away while she watches! And then, I'll destroy her! [maniacal laughter]
[magic zap]
Queen Chrysalis: With the Elements under my control, I'll build a new hive of Earth ponies, unicorns, and Pegasi, and I will rule as Queen once again!
[magic sounds]
[cracking]
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. At least our retreat isn't too far behind schedule. Get ready for fun!
Rainbow Dash: Are we talking fun fun, or learning pretending to be fun?
Twilight Sparkle: Both! We've all been so busy teaching, we've hardly had a chance to hang out with each other. And I may have scheduled some friendship activities as well!
Pinkie Pie: Count me in! We can do friendship trust falls and pony pyramids! Oh! And hide and seek! Quick! Find me!
Fluttershy: Well, I love the idea of some quiet time with my best friends.
Pinkie Pie: [screams] You found me!
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, why is Applejack carrying all your stuff?
Rarity: Oh, that's not mine. Yes, I used to overpack a tad, but now it's just the essentials for me. I'm a simple filly.
Applejack: Normally I wouldn't lug so much gear, but did y'all know this is Starlight's first time campin'?
Starlight Glimmer: I just never really felt the need to... "hang out" in nature.
[insects buzzing]
Starlight Glimmer: Home has books, tea, fewer bugs, a roof...
Applejack: That attitude right there is why I brought the whole kit and caboodle. I'm givin' Starlight the full Apple family campin' experience!
Fluttershy: Um, where are we camping?
Twilight Sparkle: Right next to the Elements that brought us all together in the first place – the Tree of Harmony!
Queen Chrysalis: Listen to your queen! We must retrieve the Elements of Harmony!
Mean Pinkie Pie: Hunting down some lame Elements? This is the worst day ever!
Mean Fluttershy: No. Now it's the worst day ever! [laughing cruelly]
Mean Rarity: Those Elements are mine! Along with this rock! Oh, and that twig!
Mean Applejack: I got all kinds o' Elements right here under my hat. I'll let you see 'em for five bits.
Mean Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Losers.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Why didn't you just attack them?
Queen Chrysalis: Excuse me?
Mean Twilight Sparkle: You were close enough to pull hairs from their manes. Why not just take your revenge then?
Queen Chrysalis: They've defeated my army. I know better than to strike alone. I need—
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Friends?
Queen Chrysalis: Servants! And the power of the Elements!
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Right. So where are these Elements of Harmony?
Queen Chrysalis: The location of the most powerful weapon in Equestria isn't something made known to just anypony. I learned they were hidden somewhere in this forest.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, well, it is a big forest.
Queen Chrysalis: [growling]
Pinkie Pie: Everypony, stop! And smell these roses! [sniffs] Ahhh! Oh, yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous giggle] Right. Roses. Fun. Now, let’s try and stay on schedule.
Rarity: Applejack, darling, anything in that wagon for mane maintenance?
Applejack: Uh, let's see here. Uh... all right. I got a bandana!
Rarity: Ugh, an entire wagon and no anti-frizz? Darling, you're not even prepared.
Applejack: I am! For campin'? How ya doin', Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: Whoa! Ugh. [flatly] Great.
Bird 1: [tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! You and your sister fell out of your nest and got separated? That's terrible! Here. I'm sure your home isn't too far away.
[swing creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Pinkie! If we keep stopping to have fun, we're never gonna get to the fun things I've got planned!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Good point! Last one to the Tree of Harmony is a parasprite! Whoo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[thud]
Mean Pinkie Pie: I'm sooooo bored. Are we there yet?
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Where yet? We don't even know where we're going!
Queen Chrysalis: The quicker we search the forest, the quicker we find the Elements.
Mean Applejack: I know where the Elements are. This, uh, here boulder just told me. I swear.
Bird 2: [tweeting]
Mean Fluttershy: You tried to fly out of the nest, but you fell and got lost?
Bird 2: [tweeting]
Mean Fluttershy: [laughing cruelly] Hope you like walking! [laughing cruelly]
Mean Rainbow Dash: [yawns] Come get me when I should care.
Queen Chrysalis: Where... are... the others?!
Mean Applejack: Uh... A, uh, a bugbear in... plaid socks flew down and, uh, g-grabbed them! Then disappeared! Huh. Craziest thing I ever did see!
Queen Chrysalis: Turn around. We're going back.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: No. Keep searching. I'll find the others. We can accomplish more if we split our resources.
Queen Chrysalis: Very well. You have my permission.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: "Permission"? You need us way more than we need you, your Majesty! The others are fools. But with me to lead them, there's no reason we can't find the Elements and keep the power for ourselves!
[rustling]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: You're it! Hey, how'd you get ahead of me? You're fast.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! I'm looking for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie: Aren't they back there?
Mean Twilight Sparkle: They are?
Pinkie Pie: Sure! Unless they're already at the Tree of Harmony.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: What is the Tree of Harmony?
Pinkie Pie: Oh-ho-ho. This is one of your "activities", right? Like a friendship quiz? It's the crystal tree that holds the Elements of Harmony. Boom!
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Where is it?
Pinkie Pie: [imitates buzzer] It's at the bottom of the stairs in the ravine by the Castle of the Two Sisters. Double boom!
Mean Twilight Sparkle: How do you know? You've seen it?
Pinkie Pie: Mm-hmm. Honestly, Twilight, these questions are super easy.
Bird 1: [tweeting]
Fluttershy: Right where you belong.
Bird 1: [tweets]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. This isn't where I belong. Oh, Rainbow Dash! I'm so glad you're here. I was lost.
Mean Rainbow Dash: Bummer. Later.
[beat]
Fluttershy: What just happened?
Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Starlight Glimmer: [overlapping] Fluttershy!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, fantastic. First Pinkie races ahead of us, and now Fluttershy's lost somewhere behind us. My retreat is off to a great start!
Rarity: It's not like Fluttershy to disappear like this.
Applejack: We'll split up and search for her. We can all meet back at the Tree. Starlight, take the navigation gear and—
Starlight Glimmer: [quickly] Go with Rarity? Great! Rainbow Dash, you can go with Applejack! [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: I'll find Pinkie Pie.
Mean Pinkie Pie: Bored. Bored. Bored.
Queen Chrysalis: This is ridiculous! Where are my other minions?!
Mean Rarity: Probably plotting to steal my things! [growls]
Mean Applejack: They're at a secret party up in that there tree. Run by a... squirrel named, uh, Jerome. But, uh, y-you need a password to get in.
Queen Chrysalis: [growls] Enough!
[thud]
[slam!]
Queen Chrysalis: You will go out there and find the others, you will bring them back here, and we will steal the Elements of Harmony so I can destroy Starlight's life like she destroyed mine! [through gritted teeth] Understand?
Mean Rarity, Mean Applejack, and Mean Pinkie Pie: [nervously] Uh-huh!
Mean Applejack: The party password is "rutabaga".
Queen Chrysalis: [eye twitches]
Mean Fluttershy: [mockingly] Why don't you fly up to your nest? Oh, that's right. You can't! [laughing cruelly]
Bird 1: [tweeting]
Mean Fluttershy: Oh. Nopony asked you. I hope you all freeze this winter!
[mice squeaking]
Mean Fluttershy: [laughing cruelly]
Fluttershy: Hello again, little friend. I think I may be walking in circles.
Bird 1: [tweeting angrily]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, my! Where did you learn that kind of language? Um, excuse me?
[animals growling and chittering angrily]
Fluttershy: [whimpering]
Mean Rarity: Finally, you found her!
Rainbow Dash: Me? We're looking for Fluttershy!
Applejack: Where's Starlight?
Mean Rarity: Well, if I knew that—
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] Hey!
Mean Rarity: This is mine! And this as well! Oh, and this is absolutely mine!
Applejack: Rarity, what in the hay are you gonna do with a fishin' rod?
Mean Rarity: I don't know. But I wants it! [snorts]
[thud]
Rarity: Starlight, darling, you're a gloriously bad camper. And coming from me, that is saying a lot.
Starlight Glimmer: I know. Want to break it to Applejack for me?
[rustle]
Mean Applejack: Who's breakin' what now?
[thud]
Mean Applejack: Who are you?
Starlight Glimmer: Very funny, Applejack. Still me under all this gear. Starlight.
Mean Applejack: Starlight? How 'bout that? Y'all better come with me. It's, uh, dangerous out here.
Rarity: Applejack, darling, are you all right? You look a little peaky. And where's your wagon?
Mean Applejack: Uh... stolen! Uh, I barely got away! Follow me, and I'll tell ya all about it.
[clattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! There you are! What are you doing?
[bubbling]
[pop!]
Mean Pinkie Pie: You call that a pop?! Ugh!
Twilight Sparkle: I thought you were racing to the retreat.
Mean Pinkie Pie: Please. Why would I waste my time on a boring, lame, no-fun retreat?
Twilight Sparkle: What? Rainbow Dash! I think something's wrong with Pinkie!
Mean Rainbow Dash: Not my problem.
[splash!]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[bubbling]
[pop!]
Pinkie Pie: And then we all grew super-long manes with all kinds of colors, and your castle grew out of the ground, and everypony was like, "Whoa!" And then we sang this song about rainbows, and— [gasps]
Fluttershy: [crying]
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy! What's wrong?
Fluttershy: [crying] Everycreature is mad at me!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] What?! That can't be right!
Fluttershy: [crying, sniffling]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [groans] Can we hurry this up? We're on a schedule here!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, your schedule can wait! Fluttershy's upset.
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Well, tell her to get over it! I'll go get the others. Stay here!
Fluttershy: [crying, sniffling]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, great. You upset Fluttershy, too?
Pinkie Pie: You know what, Twilight? Maybe if you weren't so worried about schedules, you'd realize you're the one ruining the retreat for your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Well, if my friends don't care about the retreat I planned for them... maybe they should've stayed home!
Fluttershy: Can't we all just get along?! [crying]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Keep it together. You can do this. You need those imbeciles if your plan is gonna come together.
Queen Chrysalis: Your plan?
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Uh, the plan. I'm just trying to do your bidding, your Majesty.
Queen Chrysalis: Grub-sitting you six is nothing like controlling my hive! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just destroy you all and start over!
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Because I know where the Elements of Harmony are. You need me.
Queen Chrysalis: [maniacal laughter]
Mean Rarity: Mine. Mine! [crazed laughter] All mine!
Rainbow Dash: [to Applejack] I'm guessing some kind of curse? Maybe poison joke?
Applejack: Well, somethin' sure ain't right.
Mean Rarity: What are you plotting back there? I can hear you, you know! Don't think you're going to steal my things! [panting, spluttering]
Applejack: Hang on. I got a shovel we can use to whack those vines out of the way.
Mean Rarity: [grunting] I knew it! I knew you wanted it all for yourselves! You can't have it!
[thud]
Mean Rarity: It's mine, you hear me?! All mi-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-hine! [crazed laughter]
Mean Applejack: ...So there I was. Just me and, uh, a bucket of honey. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket. Uh, b-but I-I survived all by myself in this here forest for, uh, a hundred and... twenty-seven hours!
Rarity: Really? I can't believe you've never told us that story before.
Starlight Glimmer: She's making a point. We get it. You're the greatest camper in the history of Equestria.
Mean Applejack: Well, I sure don't need any o' that silly stuff you're luggin' around.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, the things you gave me are silly?!
Mean Applejack: [chuckles] Just look in a mirror. Guess I should've told you that before, huh? [chuckling]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps, tearing up] Glad I was so entertaining for you!
Rarity: [to Mean Applejack] I'm going to make sure that she doesn't break a hoof out there, and then you and I are going to have a serious talk!
Queen Chrysalis: Finally! There. That's all of you. Nopony leaves without my say-so.
Mean Applejack: Now, wait a second. Weren't you just—?
[magic zap]
Mean Applejack: [gulps]
Queen Chrysalis: The time for my revenge on Starlight Glimmer has come! Let's see if you're telling the truth about this Tree. [maniacal laughter]
Rarity: Starlight! Oh! Please stop running!
[screech]
Rarity: [yelps]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh!
Rarity and Starlight Glimmer: Whoa!
[crash!]
Fluttershy: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Of course I care about Fluttershy!
Pinkie Pie: Then you've got a super weird way of showing it!
Rarity: W-What in Equestria's going on here?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight is so into her retreat that she doesn't even care if her friends are upset! She just wants us to "stay on schedule"!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm sorry, Pinkie! If I knew you thought this was a "boring, lame, no-fun retreat", I wouldn't have invited you in the first place!
Pinkie Pie: I never said that!
Applejack: Sorry, y'all. We would've been here sooner, but we had to take the long way after Rarity ran off with all my stuff.
Rarity: Wha—?! I most certainly did not!
Applejack: What?! You know I ain't no liar! [to Starlight Glimmer] Where's all your gear?
Starlight Glimmer: Why? So you can laugh at me some more?!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, hey, we're all friends here!
Fluttershy: Friends?! You left me alone in the woods! [crying]
[main cast except Twilight arguing]
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony, quiet! Listen. We know each other really well — the great stuff and how to get on each other's nerves, too. I wanted a fun trip with my friends. But instead, I got carried away with plans and ruined everything. If you want to forget it all and head home, I won't be offended. I just want us to stop fighting.
Applejack: [to Starlight Glimmer] Hey, sorry if I got carried away with all that campin' stuff.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry, too. I should've just told you I'll never like camping. Also, I'll never like camping.
Rarity: Well, if we're all being honest, I can't survive with just this tiny yet fashionable little saddlebag! I miss my things!
Pinkie Pie: [to Twilight Sparkle] I'm sorry that you thought that I thought your plan was lame. Your plans are the most un-lamest!
Rainbow Dash: And I always have fun when we're all together. Even if it's learning pretending to be fun.
Twilight Sparkle: So... does that mean you still want to have the retreat?
All except Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy: Yes!
Fluttershy: If everypony likes me again.
All: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Let's get to that Tree. I have the whole campsite set up and ready.
Mean Pinkie Pie: [groans] What's this garbage?
Mean Applejack: Badger installation art! Ya see—
Queen Chrysalis: Just! Retrieve! The Elements!
Mean Fluttershy: [laughing cruelly]
Mean Rarity: Mine! Mine!
[clattering]
Mean Rarity: Mine! [crazed laughter]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Once we get the power of the Elements, no creature – not even her Majesty – can tell us what to do. Just follow my lead. Got it?
Mean Ponies: [laughing evilly]
Mean Rarity: Ooh! That one's mine!
[ping!]
Mean Rarity: [crazed laughter]
[thud]
Mean Fluttershy: Oops. I'd say sorry, but I'm not!
Mean Rarity and Mean Fluttershy: [grunting]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Stop it, fools!
[ping!]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: We need the Elements to take out Chrysalis! [gasps]
Queen Chrysalis: How dare you! I created you!
[magic zap]
[thud]
[dull pulsating]
[ping!]
Mean Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
[ping!]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
[ping!]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [groaning]
[magic sounds]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic sounds]
Mean Twilight Sparkle: Imbeciles! You ruined everythiiiiiiiing!
[shimmering sounds]
[clattering]
Queen Chrysalis: Servants always fail you in the end! Just wait, Starlight. I will have my revenge!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Are you kidding me?
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] This was... the worst... day... ever!
All: [laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: Come on, everypony. We can fix this campsite in no time.
Applejack: Spoken like a true camper.
Starlight Glimmer: Eh, don't push it.
Applejack and Starlight Glimmer: [chuckling]
Twilight Sparkle: You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.
[credits]

A Matter of Principals

[chest opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Who can tell me what these are?
Sandbar: Whoa...
Gallus: Me likey...
Yona: Shiny!
Smolder: Treasure?
Ocellus: Nope! They're all legendary magical artifacts!
[beat]
Ocellus: Heh-heh. I've read ahead in Equestrian Cultures and Camaraderie: Volume Seven.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Ocellus. This is the Amulet of Aurora, the Talisman of Mirage, the Helm of Yksler, the Crown of Grover, Knuckerbocker's Shell, and Clover the Clever's Cloak.
Spike: And the gems are real! Eh, not that I... tasted them.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia gifted these to our school, since they each represent one of the cultures our students come from. And we'll learn all about them in a Spell-venger Hunt!
[beat]
Smolder: [aside, to Sandbar] Is that a pony thing?
Sandbar: Eh.
Twilight Sparkle: It's a magical scavenger hunt. Each of you will work in pairs to try to find where in the school these artifacts are hidden.
Spike: The team that finds the most wins a private tour of the Canterlot Archives with Princess Celestia.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Silverstream: [excited squeal] Learning and fun?! Does it get any better than that?!
Gallus: You've been underwater a long time, haven't you?
Twilight Sparkle: Gallus and Silverstream, sounds like you're our first pair!
Students: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: What? They'll make a great team.
[cutie mark glowing]
Yona: Um, why pony glowing?
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. You all were called on this friendship quest, too?
Fluttershy: It must be a really important one.
Rarity: And terribly far away.
Rainbow Dash: Just getting there will take days!
Applejack: Do y'all know what this means? There won't be any teachers left to run the school!
Mane Six except Applejack: [gasp]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: Should we send our students home?
Pinkie Pie: I say we take 'em with us! Road trip!
Rarity: In the middle of my friendship quilting class? I think not! All of those unfinished seams! [faints]
Applejack: Problem is we don't even know how long we'll be gone.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, everypony. I already have a seventy-point plan in place for this very situation.
Starlight Glimmer: You want me to be headmare?!
Twilight Sparkle: You're the perfect choice! You're a good leader and an expert in friendship. I trust you to run this school exactly as I would.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, that's a pretty big responsibility, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Which is why I've prepared everything you need.
[bell ringing]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: The curriculum, rules for the Spell-venger Hunt, dining hall menus for the next six months...
Spike: Six months?! You're not really gonna be gone that long, are you?
Twilight Sparkle: ...and Spike. Anything that isn't covered in my files, he'll be able to help you with.
Starlight Glimmer: Then why not put him in charge?
Spike: No-ho-ho, thanks. Eh, being a princess for Twilight was hard enough.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm gonna pretend that made sense. But if you're sure it's what you really want, I promise I won't let you down.
Twilight Sparkle: I knew I could count on you.
[door closes]
Spike: [yells]
Starlight Glimmer: Great. What could possibly go wrong?
[galloping]
Spike: Goodbye, Rarity! A-And everypony!
Starlight Glimmer: Come back soon! Please!
Discord: [blows nose]
Starlight Glimmer: Huh?
Discord: [through mock tears] I hate goodbyes, don't you? I just go to pieces.
[pop!]
Starlight Glimmer: Discord! What a... heh... nice surprise! This is your first time at our new school, isn't it?
Discord 1: Oh, was I not invited to the grand opening?
Discord 2: Friends and Family Day?
Discord 3: Baccalaureate?
All three Discords: I hadn't noticed.
[flash]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, at least you're here now. Um, why are you here now?
Discord: To fill in for Twilight, of course, as head-draconequus. I seem to recall a whole song about how this school is where you make your own rules. Now, who better at that than me?
Spike: Then you also must've heard Starlight is in charge now.
Discord: Really? I thought there must be some mistake.
[flick]
Starlight Glimmer: Nope. Twilight picked me for the job. And she left pretty detailed instructions for me to follow.
Discord: Well, I'm sure that she wouldn't mind a few tiny suggestions. [snaps fingers]
[flash]
Discord: [writing] "Item one – Gravity is optional."
[warbling]
Starlight Glimmer: Whoa-oa!
Discord: "Item two – The school's new mascot is an ambidextrous marmoset."
[marmoset mascot squeaks]
Discord: "Item three—"
Starlight Glimmer: Not gonna happen. I promised Twilight I'd handle this her way. So thanks, but no thanks.
Discord: Reeeeeeally? Well, we'll see if you change your mind. [snaps fingers]
[flash]
[splash]
Spike: Uh-oh. When we play Ogres & Oubliettes and he puts that many E's in "really", the things don't usually end well.
Starlight Glimmer: Don't worry, Spike. Discord and I are old "save Equestria" buddies. He'll be fine. Now, what's next on Twilight's list?
[door opens]
Spike: Okay. I hid the artifacts for the Spell-venger Hunt and ordered school supplies for the week. All you have to worry about is teaching class.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Thanks, Spike. Maybe we will get through this okay.
[doors open]
[peacocks call]
[Castle Thunder]
[typewriter clicking]
Discord: Come in, come in. You'll let the twittermites out. [munches]
Spike: Twittermites?
[swarming]
Spike: Ow!
[splash]
Starlight Glimmer: Discord! What are you doing?!
Spike: [gasps for air]
Discord: Nopony was at your desk. Imagine what Twilight would say. [imitating Twilight] Oh, how could you, Starlight?! You've broken my trust and failed me completely! [normal voice] Oh, don't worry. I'll cover for you. By the way, I hope you like Limburger cheese. I got a month's supply for the teacher's lounge. [snaps fingers]
[flash]
[crate opening]
Spike: [screams]
[squish!]
Spike: [sniffs, gags]
Starlight Glimmer: [gags] We'll take it from here, Discord. Go relax. Have a cup of tea. At home.
[door stops]
Discord: Oh! Some thanks for all my help. And after I hired all those substitute teachers for you.
[splat]
Spike: Actually, that does sound kinda helpful. And it was next on our to-do list.
Starlight Glimmer: Which teachers did you hire?
[stomp]
Iron Will: They call it "making friends", because you have to make creatures be your friends! Show me what you've got, yak!
Yona: [clears throat, quietly] Be my friend.
Iron Will: If you're quiet, I don't buy it!
Yona: [louder] Be my friend!
Iron Will: I've heard pudding that's more convincing!
Yona: [huffs, even louder] Be! My! Friend!
[zip!]
Starlight Glimmer: [quietly] That's not how Twilight teaches friendship.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Some field trip! Where's my iced tea?! [sips, gulps, spits] This is too cold! [sips, gulps, spits] Now it's too hot!
[pours]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [sips, gulps, spits] Now it's too tea-flavored!
[clatter]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: You call yourselves friends?!
Spike: That is definitely not how Twilight teaches friendship.
Discord: [sips]
Starlight Glimmer: You hired a tree as a teacher?!
Discord: Its schedule was free.
Spike: Uh, guys? That's not just any tree.
Smolder: [sneezes]
Students: [scream]
Spike: [blows nose] It's a dragon-sneeze tree.
Smolder: [sneezes]
Students: [scream]
Starlight Glimmer: W-W-W-Wait! Calm down, everycreature! It's gonna be okay!
Yona: [yells] BE MY FRIEEEEENNNND!
Discord: Mmmm, my, my, my. You do seem like you're in over your head. Won't Twilight be so disappointed with how you're ruining—I mean, running her school?
Students: [screaming]
Starlight Glimmer: Discord!
Discord: [munching]
Starlight Glimmer: This is all your fault!
Discord: Mine? I thought you were in charge here. But I'm happy to pitch in if you need me.
[flash]
Starlight Glimmer: What I need is for you to leave!
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[flash]
Discord: Happy now?
Spike: Come on, Discord. You know that's not what she means.
Discord: Fine! From now on, I won't try to help. At! All!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] Thanks, Spike. Let's just hope he stays gone.
Spike: I wouldn't count on it. I think Discord's trying to test you.
Starlight Glimmer: But why? I thought we were friends.
Spike: Well, it's kinda what he does. Even to ponies or dragons he cares about.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, well, I'm ready for him. I told Twilight I'd run her school right, and I'm gonna keep that promise. No matter what.
[nighttime ambience]
Starlight Glimmer: Good morning, students! I know there's been a little bit of adjustment since the professors left for their trip. But I've brought in new new teachers. And now everything should run smoothly. Now it's time for class. And don't forget, this afternoon is the Spell-venger Hunt!
Students: [chattering]
[door slams open]
[stock gasp sound]
Discord: [California accent] Yo! Greetings, fellow creatures!
[flash]
Discord: Is this seat taken?
Ocellus: [laughs nervously]
[poof]
Trixie: Welcome, class! You may call me the Great and Powerful Professor Trrrrrri—
[phone ringing]
Discord: Shhh! Really, that's so inconsiderate!
[phone ringing]
[bananaphone ringing]
Discord: Oh, I better take this. Hello?
Voice on bananaphone: [garbled sped-up gibberish]
Discord: Oh, he did not! And what did you say?
Voice on bananaphone: [garbled sped-up gibberish]
Discord: [gasps] You did not!
Trixie: Discord! Why are you here?!
Discord: Why, I'm a student of friendship, of course. Unless you don't think you're good enough to teach me.
Trixie: Of course I am! No fruit calls in my class!
[banana peels]
Discord: [gulps]
Trixie: Magic is the most important element of friendship. So, today I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, will put on a magic show!
Discord: [snaps fingers]
[Pigasus squeals]
[ursa major roaring]
Students: [scream]
Discord: [chuckles] I'm learning so much. Aren't you?
Trixie: [growls] Discord!
[doors close]
[bananaphone ringing]
[beep]
Trixie: Eh, hello?
Voice on bananaphone: [garbled sped-up gibberish]
Trixie: Um, what exactly is a long-distance plan?
Yona: [pants]
Discord: Take a lap, team!
Sandbar: Uh, actually, we just finished Professor Spitfire's workout.
Discord: Sounds like somepony needs a little motivation. [blows whistle]
[flash]
Students: [gasp, scream]
[bugbear growls]
Silverstream: I've never run so fast in my life! Oh, this is great!
Sandbar: [pants] Hey, coach, we need a break.
Discord: Friendship is about honesty. So believe me when I say... we're not stopping! [blows whistle]
Sandbar: [yelps, pants]
[bugbear growls]
Yona: [panting] Yona... can't run... faster...! [grunts]
[bugbear growls]
[zap!]
[bugbear whimpers]
Starlight Glimmer: Discord, that's enough! Endangering students crosses the line! I don't know why you're trying to ruin this school, but it stops now!
[flash]
Discord: I wouldn't be so sure.
Starlight Glimmer: This is your last warning.
Spike: Hey-hey-hey! Take it easy, Starlight! Discord's your friend, remember?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, he's not acting like it!
Spike: [huffs] She's right, Discord. What's your problem?
Discord: My problem? How is the fact that Twilight decided to put an incompetent, power-hungry unicorn in charge of her school my problem?!
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps, yells]
[zap!]
[crackles]
Students: [shudder]
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous laughter] Don't worry. I just banished him from school grounds forever. He's fine.
Spike: That probably made things worse. Why didn't you just talk to Discord?
Starlight Glimmer: Because he's right about one thing. I've been doing a terrible job as headmare.
Spike: No, you haven't. Discord is just bein'... Discord.
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe. But I wonder why me being in charge bothers him so much.
[school bell rings]
Spike: We can figure that out after the Spell-venger Hunt. C'mon!
[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: For this afternoon's Spell-venger Hunt, you'll need to use the artifacts' history to find where they're hidden in the castle. When you spot one, touch it with a magic shield to keep track of your score.
Spike: Twilight left the list of your hunt partners before she left. I'll pass out the shields.
Starlight Glimmer: Ready... set... Spell-venger Hunt!
[gong strikes]
Students: [chattering]
Spike: C'mon! We can use Twilight's observatory to watch the teams!
Students: [chatter continues]
Smolder: I hope you know where you're going.
Ocellus: To the Helm of Yksler!
Smolder: Eh, works for me.
Ocellus: In our book, it says Yksler was an honorable yak warrior. Any enemies that saw him put down their weapons in peace. I think his artifact must be in one of these suits of armor.
Smolder: I'm guessing that one.
[shields flash]
Ocellus: Yes! One down, five to go!
[slaps]
Starlight Glimmer: Awww, Ocellus and Smolder found their first artifact! Wait. What's that?
Ocellus: Uh, I don't think that's part of the Spell-venger Hunt!
Ocellus and Smolder: [scream]
Ocellus: The school is haunted!
Smolder: And not cool!
Starlight Glimmer and Spike: [gasp]
Silverstream: We're totally gonna win this Spell-venger Hunt!
Gallus: Yeah, I doubt that. But at least I know where one of the artifacts is. Saw Spike hide it yesterday.
[thud]
Gallus: The Crown of Grover! Score!
[shimmer!]
Gallus: They say it's magic and King Grover used it to become the first ruler of Griffonstone. I know, pretty sweet, right?
Silverstream: You paid attention in class!
Gallus: What?! I-If you ever tell an—
[slam!]
Gallus: Whoa!
Silverstream: 3D painting!
King Grover Painting: [screeches]
Gallus and Silverstream: [scream]
Changeling Painting: [hisses]
[students screaming]
Pony Painting: [hisses]
[students screaming]
Discord's Ghost: [laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: Yup, that's definitely Discord. This is not good.
Spike: I thought you banished him from the school.
Starlight Glimmer: Only his body. Apparently, his ghost can come and go just fine. Let's go. We have to stop this.
[lift clanking]
Spike: How? No offense, but I don't think magic is the answer against Discord.
Starlight Glimmer: This time, I'm not using magic.
Yona: Hmm... What Yona look for?
Sandbar: The Shell of Knuckerbocker. It's like a seashell, but if you blow into it, you call a dragon! There's a sweet poem in our book about it. "Climb to the heights with dragon flight." [gasps] Like flight of stairs!
Yona: Yona take pony word for it.
[squish]
Yona: Huh?
Sandbar: [grunts] What's happening?!
Yona: Ugh! Yona not know! But Yona do know Yona not like Spell-venger Hunt!
Discord's Ghost: [laughing] Boo! Boo! Boo!
[students screaming]
Ocellus: [yelps] Whoa!
Starlight Glimmer: Everycreature, stop!
Silverstream: B-B-B-But the school is haunted!
Starlight Glimmer: It's not haunted. It's Discord.
[poof!]
Discord's Ghost: Headmare Starlight! Look at me! Look! I won the Spell-venger Hunt! Well done, me! Now what's my prize?
Spike: Detention.
Discord's Ghost: Well, that's disappointing.
Starlight Glimmer: Discord, you can't keep messing up the school.
Discord's Ghost: On the contrary. I think I rather can. And will.
Starlight Glimmer: Then I have just one thing to say to you.
Discord's Ghost: Oh, do go on.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry.
Discord's Ghost: What?
[zap!]
Starlight Glimmer: I had to stop thinking like a headmare and start thinking like a guidance counselor to finally understand. You felt left out.
Discord: Uh... [stuttering] I don't know what you're getting at.
Starlight Glimmer: Nopony ever invited you to the school. And when you offered to help, I didn't listen. I was so worried about doing things Twilight's way, I didn't stop to think about being a good friend. I'd like to apologize for that. And offer you the job of vice headmare.
Spike: Huh?
Silverstream: Really?!
Gallus: What?!
Ocellus: Why?!
Yona: No!
Smolder: Him?!
Sandbar: Totally confused.
Discord: I accept! I mean, I-I-I suppose I can find some time in my busy schedule to help you out. But I will need my own office, expense account, parking space...
Spike: You're new to the world of education, aren't you?
Starlight Glimmer: Next time you want something, just ask for it, all right?
Discord: But then we'd miss out on all those delightful misadventures.
Spike: Hey! Watch the wings!
Starlight Glimmer: Now, Vice Headmare Discord, if you'll help me get this Spell-venger Hunt back in order.
Discord: [snaps fingers] Everything is re-hidden.
[rattling]
Silverstream: [screams]
Discord: [chuckles] Well, with a few surprises.
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! I can't believe you tricked us into going on a friendship quest that wasn't real!
Discord: Oh, back so soon?
Rarity: A glamour spell on our cutie marks?
Rainbow Dash: A fake summons from the map?
Pinkie Pie: Hey, at least we got to go spelunking in that really creepy cave with all those eyeless worm creatures chasing us.
Yona: Oh, Yona so glad ponies back!
Applejack: Uh, y'all get the feelin' we missed somethin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for taking care of the school, Starlight.
Starlight Glimmer: It was a challenge. Heh. But I think things turned out just the way you'd have handled them.
Spike: [to Discord] Guess this means you're not vice headmare anymore.
Discord: Oh, poo! I just ordered business cards!
[credits]

The Hearth's Warming Club

[holiday music]
[Sandbar]
Ponies' voices fill the night
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again
Come on, everycreature! Sing!
[chatter stops]
[chatter continues]
[Sandbar]
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la
[Ocellus]
[hesitantly] La-la-la-la... la...
Yona: Not everycreature celebrate same way, you know.
Smolder: Yeah. Dragons don't do pony holidays.
Spike: Sure we do! I love Hearth's Warming Eve! It's all about friends and presents and family and... presents!
Twilight Sparkle: It's also about putting aside differences to come together, like the Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns did on the first holiday.
Ocellus: Oh! Is that why you put their Fire of Friendship on top of the tree? To help us remember their unity?
Rainbow Dash: And 'cause it looks cool.
Silverstream: This is my favorite day of the year! [giggles] Not that I don't like the other ones. Tuesdays are great!
Yona: Yona like any day that is start of winter break.
Gallus: Two whole weeks without classes. How will Ocellus survive?
Ocellus: [laughs nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: I think you'll all enjoy the time off to be home with your families. To celebrate your own traditions. Attention, everycreature! School is officially out! Happy holidays, and we'll see you after the break!
[excited chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: And for those of you traveling outside Equestria...
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, shouldn't you guys be getting ready to go? If you miss that train, it's a really long walk.
Twilight Sparkle: Go pack up, and we'll take you to the station.
Young Six: [chatting excitedly]
[rattling]
Spike: It's that new bowtie I wanted, isn't it?
Twilight Sparkle: You'll have to wait and see.
Spike: I'm waiting! But in the meantime, I'm shaking!
[sprinkling]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Spike: [gasp]
[bubbling]
Spike: [gasps]
[theme song]
Spike: [gasps]
[splash!]
Spike: [grunting]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
[snap!]
Spike: Wha... What happened?!
Twilight Sparkle: Everything's ruined – that's what's happened!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: And I don't think it was an accident. Somepony was up here!
Spike: Over there!
[window creaks]
[wind whistling]
Twilight Sparkle: Outside!
[wind whistling]
[door slams]
Spike: That's the students' quarters!
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: Might as well give up, whoever you are! We got ya cornered!
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? Is anypony there?
Rainbow Dash: I'll check the back door!
[door opens]
Silverstream: What's happening? [gasps] Another decorating party?
Twilight Sparkle: Has anycreature come in here?
Smolder: Well, yeah. All of us did. To pack? Like you told us to?
Spike: After that. Did you hear anything?
Silverstream and Smolder: Uh-uh.
[door opens]
Gallus: What's up?
[door opens]
Yona: Yona done packing!
[door opens]
Ocellus: Is something wrong?
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] The back door's locked! No way out!
Twilight Sparkle: But whoever did it had to have come in here! We saw them!
Ocellus: Whoever did what?
Sandbar: Whoa... That is so not cool.
Spike: And whoever did it ran into your rooms. No one came out, and all of you are still here.
Rainbow Dash: One of you must have done this! But... why would any of you want to sabotage Hearth's Warming Eve?
Young Six: [muttering nervously]
Yona: Ugh! Yak not do this! Yona offended by accusation!
Twilight Sparkle: We don't know what happened. Maybe this wasn't even on purpose. But I want to give whoever caused this mess a chance to tell the truth and explain themselves. I'll make it easy for you. Close your eyes. Now, if you did this, raise your hoof. Or claw. Or whatever.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Come on, Spike. Looks like we have to— Spike, you can open your eyes.
Spike: What? Oh!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what about me?
Twilight Sparkle: You all can.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: But since nocreature took responsibility for this mess, you're all gonna have to help clean it up before you can go home.
Young Six: [protesting]
Smolder: Why do I have to stay?!
Sandbar: Aw, but the holidays!
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: While you're cleaning, we'll bring you into my office one at a time. Since honesty is one of the Elements of Harmony, we want to give you each a chance to tell us the truth.
Rainbow Dash: And once we find out who did it, just you wait! We're gonna...! We'll...! What are we gonna do exactly?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] The guilty party won't be going home over Hearth's Warming break. She or he will stay here for some one-on-one friendship lessons.
Silverstream: But what if none of us confesses?
Twilight Sparkle: Then... [sighs] I guess there's no holidays for anycreature. You'll all stay over the break.
Young Six: [gasp]
[water splashing]
[splat]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: All right, let's get to the bottom of this. Who wants to be interviewed first?
Gallus: Eh. I'll go. Beats mop duty.
Silverstream: Hey, I know! We can make a game out of this! See who finishes cleaning up first!
Yona: Woo-hoo! Yak win! Yak best at cleaning! [grunting]
Smolder: Let's save time and cut to the chase. Which one of you did it?
Ocellus: I would never do something this horrible! I love Hearth's Warming Eve! And I do not want to miss going home for it.
Sandbar: Huh. I didn't even know changelings celebrated Hearth's Warming.
Ocellus: Oh, yes! It's our favorite holiday! Well, since Headmare Twilight shared it with us last year. She gave our hive very clear instructions.
Ocellus: [clears throat, reading] "Welcome to the traditions and fun of Hearth's Warming! Here's a guide to help you enjoy this celebration of pony history. Families start the holidays by putting the tree up!"
[creaking]
Ocellus: [reading] "Thirsty? Dive into some holiday punch!"
[splash!]
Changelings: [laughing]
Ocellus: [reading] "Just before bed, everypony exchanges gifts."
Ocellus: It doesn't say how long we keep doing this.
Ocellus: [reading] "And to finish celebrating, you can build a fire, light it up, and sing carols."
[Changelings]:
Carols, carols, carols, carols, caroooools
[laughing]
Sandbar: You might have misunderstood things just a little.
Ocellus: Eh. We may not have done everything exactly the way you do. But we made our own traditions! And I can't wait to do it all again this year!
Smolder: If we ever get out of here.
Twilight Sparkle: Ocellus? Your turn.
[foreboding music]
[doors close]
Silverstream: What happened?
Gallus: What do you think happened? I told her I didn't do it.
Yona: Ugh! Yona tired of waiting! Yaks always home for holidays!
Sandbar: How do you celebrate Hearth's Warming in Yakyakistan, Yona?
Yona: Yaks do not. Our holiday much better. Is called Snilldar Fest. Night before, yaks gather things to smash and put them in big pile. Then in morning, we smash them! In afternoon, we smash them again! In evening—
Gallus: So it's just about smashing stuff, like all your other holidays.
Yona: No! How griffon get that idea? This holiday about so much more. Last year, for example. Most perfect Snilldar ever.
Yona: [voiceover] Whole family – grandpa, grandma yak, Yona's brother, sister, mother, father yak – all go to woods singing yak song.
[Yona and family]
Yak song! Yak song! Not very long! Sing again!
Yak song! Yak song! Not very long! Sing again!
Yak song! Yak song! Not very long! Sing again!
Yona: [voiceover] Calves in family pick out perfect smashing log. Then yaks smash it!
[yaks yelling and grunting]
Yona: [voiceover] Then yak family build perfect snow fort... and smash it!
[crash!]
Yona: [voiceover] Then we hang perfect things on perfect moss pile and—
All but Yona: You smash it.
Yona: What you think yaks are, barbarians? Moss pile is for special family rituals. Last year, ritual for Yona.
Yona: [voiceover] All yak family gather around Yona and braid Yona hair for first time.
Gallus: So, to recap... Your holiday is about smashing things and family.
Yona: Two most perfect things ever put together. Happy Snilldar Fest! [yelling and grunting]
Silverstream: Happy Snilldar to you too, Yona! It's so cool to learn new traditions from new friends!
[clatter]
Smolder: Yeah, well, one of these new friends has gotten us all in trouble. And they'd better confess soon.
Ocellus: Sandbar? Sorry, but they said they want you to go in next.
[mop clatters]
Silverstream: Why the rush to get home, Smolder? Like you said, dragons don't really have holidays, do they?
Smolder: Meh.
Ocellus: [gasps] That's so sad! You must do something in the winter for fun.
Smolder: Well, we do have the Feast of Fire. Everydragon gets together and tells stories. The best one wins a pile of gemstones.
Yona: Ooh, what story won last year?
Smolder: It was called "A Dream Come True".
Silverstream: Come on, now you've gotta tell it!
Smolder: Ugh, fine. Once upon a time, there was this sad little dragon.
[thunderclap]
Smolder: [narrating] Her name was Scales. She lived alone in the wilderness with nothing to eat.
[stomach growls]
Smolder: [narrating] But one night, as she sat alone in a storm, she heard something. It was the Dragon Lord! Scales was scared, but the Dragon Lord told her not to be afraid, that he was taking her to the Dragon Lands for a great feast.
[dragons munching]
Smolder: [narrating] Scales sat with the Dragon Lord's family and friends and had the biggest, best dinner of gemstones she'd ever eaten! Then, while the dragons were telling stories, Scales thought it would be so easy to seize power from this feeble and sensitive Dragon Lord. She saw her chance... and took it!
[flames bursting]
Smolder: [narrating] She claimed the Bloodstone Scepter and took over the Dragon Lands! [as Scales, evil laughter] And forced the Dragon Lord to live out in the cold, just as she used to!
Ocellus: That's a horrible story!
Smolder: Maybe to you. But dragons like hearing about weak, kind creatures getting defeated.
Rainbow Dash: Silverstream! You're up! Let's go!
[door closes]
Smolder: So, did you tell them you did it?
Sandbar: What?! No way! Why would I say that?
Smolder: You already live in Ponyville. Staying here over break is no big deal.
Yona: School of Friendship good place for pony to have pony holiday.
Sandbar: I'd still rather spend it with my family at home. Oh! That reminds me! I have the best holiday story ever! It's called...
Sandbar: [voiceover] "The Day My Hearth's Warming Doll Almost Fell into the Fire!"
All but Sandbar: [sounds of awe]
Sandbar: [voiceover] Just before we went to bed, my mom, my dad, and my sister all put our Hearth's Warming Dolls up on the mantel, just like we do every year. But this year, I put my doll too close to the edge, and it fell!
Sandbar: [in slow motion] Nooooooo!
Ocellus: [gasps] And?!
Sandbar: My doll hit the floor. But it could have gone in the fire!
Smolder: [sarcastic] That's a great story. And you told it really well.
Sandbar: Yeah. It was a Hearth's Warming miracle.
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Next! Smolder, come with me. Yona, Twilight's waiting for you.
[door closes]
Ocellus: The last two. So if neither one of them confesses, that means...
Silverstream: We're never going home!
Ocellus: We'll be here forever!
Sandbar: Beyond forever.
Silverstream: But I can't miss the Three Days of Freedom Celebration!
Gallus: [sarcastic] How long does that last?
Silverstream: It used to be only one day, but now to commemorate our escape from the Storm King, we're adding two more days of awesome! See?
Gallus: There's a book?
Silverstream: Mm-hmm! Queen Novo had these made for the Mount Aris board of tourism to explain it all to guests!
Silverstream: [voiceover] We'll spend the first night in Seaquestria, thanking the ocean for protecting us from the Storm King. Sea-dancing, whale-singing, shell-stringing... Lots of "ing"'s.
[splash]
Silverstream: [voiceover] The second day will be on Mount Aris, with sky-dancing and a wind song in the Harmonizing Heights to celebrate the Storm King's defeat. Then the third day, everycreature will party together, on land and sea! Grandparents and parents and sisters, uncles, brothers, acquaintances, neighbors, and cousins. And at the end of the night, Queen Novo is gonna give out presents!
Gallus: Wait. Hold on. "Cousins"? What are those?
Ocellus: Your aunts and uncles' children. You know, part of your family. Heh. Oh. You're teasing us again, right?
[door opens]
Sandbar: I'm guessing neither one of you confessed.
Yona: [sighs] Headmare Twilight say wait here.
Silverstream: Maybe they're changing their minds about sending us home.
Smolder: Why would they? Face it. We're stuck here.
Ocellus: [sniffles] But-but-but I have to go home!
Silverstream: My mom makes the best kelp fritters.
Sandbar: How can you be so cool about this?
Smolder: We're mad. We just show it differently.
Sandbar: More like you don't show it at all.
Yona: What pony getting at?
Silverstream: Maybe it wasn't just one prankster. Maybe there were three of you. And you're trying to hide your guilt by not being upset!
Ocellus: It does make sense.
Gallus: Guys, stop it.
Smolder: Or maybe whoever did it is only pretending to be upset to throw us off.
Ocellus: Me?! But I didn't!
Gallus: Come on, let it go.
All but Gallus: [arguing]
Sandbar: Come on! Ocellus, you know you did it! Just fess up!
All but Gallus: [shouting]
Gallus: I said, stop fighting! That's not what the holidays are about! No matter what you call them or how you celebrate! D-Do you know how lucky you all are? With your stories about sharing and-and kindness and getting together with everycreature that you care about?
Ocellus: But griffons do that too, don't they?
Smolder: Some holiday about a moon?
Gallus: [sighs] Blue Moon Festival. The one time of year when griffons are nice to each other. Well, as nice as we can be.
Gallus: [voiceover] Families get together to eat and then complain about the food and give each other presents they don't like and mostly just try not to yell at each other.
Silverstream: Well, at least you get to be with your family.
Gallus: No... because I don't have a family.
Sandbar: [voiceover] What about Grampa Gruff?
Gallus: [voiceover] That's just his name. He's not anygriff's actual grandpa. I felt like I never had a place in Griffonstone.
Gallus: Then I came here and, well, met all of you. So I don't want to go home for the break. And that's why... I did it!
Yona: [gasps] Griffon mess up decorations?!
Gallus: Yeah. It was me. I put goo powder in the Fire of Friendship.
All but Gallus: [gasps]
Sandbar: So it wasn't Ocellus?
Ocellus: Why would you ruin things for us?
Gallus: I didn't plan to! I just figured if I made a mess, our teachers would make us stay to clean up. We'd be together a little longer.
Smolder: Well, it worked, didn't it?
Gallus: Better than I thought. And when Headmare Twilight threatened to cancel winter break, that meant I would get to be with all of you through the entire holiday. That's why I didn't confess.
Sandbar: So, why are you admitting this now?
Gallus: I hated seeing all you fighting and-and blaming each other. That's the opposite of what all your holidays mean. Except maybe yours, Smolder. I can't keep all of you from the happiness of your homes and families just because I feel bad. I'm sorry. Don't worry. You won't have to tell our teachers. I will.
Twilight Sparkle: You don't have to. We already know.
Rainbow Dash: We kinda guessed it was you. But we wanted to give you the chance to tell the truth.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm proud that you did, and I'm glad to see you've been paying attention in Professor Applejack's honesty classes. But you're still going to have to make amends and stay over break for extra friendship lessons by yourself.
Silverstream: I'll stay with him.
Ocellus: Me, too!
Yona: Yona stay also!
Sandbar: I'm staying!
[beat]
Smolder: What? All right. I guess pony holidays can't be that bad.
Sandbar: Now you can finally know what it's like to spend Hearth's Warming with friends who care about you.
Rainbow Dash: [whispering, to Twilight Sparkle] Looks like they don't really need any extra lessons.
Twilight Sparkle: Since you obviously know that Hearth's Warming is about coming together, I'd be honored if all of you would join my friends as guests at our holiday table.
Young Six: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: After we finish cleaning up.
Young Six: [cheering]
Sandbar: Hey, this reminds me of another story! "The Time I Almost Spilled Grape Juice on the White Couch"!
Smolder: Does it have a depressing ending?
Ocellus: I'm not sure pony stories work that way.
Yona: Gallus want Yona braid feathers?
Gallus: Uhhh... pass.
[Silverstream]
Hearth's Warming Eve is here once again!
[credits]

Friendship University

Star Swirl the Bearded: [voiceover] Dear Twilight, it is difficult to express how grateful I am to you for teaching me the power of friendship.
Rare Find: [grunts]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [voiceover] You would think after more than a thousand years, there would be nothing left to learn.
[wind whistling]
[clang!]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [voiceover] And yet, even a pony as old as I can continue to be surprised by how much there is to know.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "I hope you find these postcards enjoyable, and I look forward to seeing you again, though I can't say when my journey will be complete. Your friend, Star Swirl.
Rarity: It must be gratifying to have your idol writing to you about the friendship lessons he's learning.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it. Of course, if he really wants to learn about friendship, he could just come to our school.
[door opens]
Cozy Glow: Professor Sparkle? The mailpony just came with, uh, a few things.
[door squeaks]
Rarity: Ooh! The sewing machines I ordered for my class!
Cozy Glow: These came, too. I wasn't sure what to make of them.
Rarity: These machines were costly, but I am quite certain the friendship lessons I can teach my students with them will be invaluable.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rarity: Oh, don't worry, darling. I'll think of something. And I didn't use the school funds to buy these. I made the purchase entirely with my own bits.
Twilight Sparkle: It's not that. It's this!
Rarity: [reading] "Why waste your time at a friendship school that's just a school? Learn everything they teach and more at Friendship University"?!
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Who would open another friendship school?
Rarity: Oh, pfft! I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. You're the Princess of Friendship. What could this other school possibly offer?
Smolder: It isn't just another friendship school. It's a university!
Ocellus: It says they teach the same lessons of competing schools in half the time. That's twice the learning!
Gallus: And it's in Las Pegasus? If Professor Rarity lets us skip her sewing class – road trip!
Young Six: [excited chatter]
Rarity: I think we need to look into this school.
Rarity: I don't like to judge solely on appearances. But... what kind of friendship school is this?
"Polo Play": Only the best friendship school in the west... and maybe all of Equestria!
[ponies cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: There's more ponies in here than at our whole school. Who is running this place?
[clank]
Flim: [echoing] Welcome, friends! You are about to embark on a journey of amazing magnitude! One that will change your lives forever!
Flam: [echoing] Prepare yourselves to embrace a new path and become students of...
Flim and Flam: Friendship U!
Twilight Sparkle: Flim and Flam. Of course.
[Flim]
If you're alone and you can't make friends
We understand your plight
[Flam]
Until now, there was just one way
Your friendships could take flight
[Flim]
There is a school real far away
That'll teach you what to know
But if you live here, you couldn't stay
[Flam]
You'd learn you have to go-o-o-o
Ponies: Awww...
[Flim]
Now, there is an alternative to all of that adversity
[Flam]
Not just a school, I'll have you know
[Flim and Flam]
But a whole university
At Friendship U, our aim is true
In a city, not some backwater
You'll learn the things you need to know
At our new alma mater
Flim: That's it, everypony, you heard correct!
Flam: Friendship U, the one and only university of friendship!
[Flim]
As you can see, we're a success
By any kind of stat
[Twilight Sparkle]
That may be so, for all I know
But I still smell a rat
[Flam]
Everypony, lookie here
That other school's headmare
[Flim]
Her presence is a testament
To the mutual respect...
[Flim and Flam]
...we sha-a-a-are
Twilight Sparkle: What?! No, it isn't!
[Flam]
It really is the final piece
To make our work complete
[Flim]
To have the Friendship Princess
Bless our school is such a treat
Flam: We're so honored!
[Flim and Flam]
At Friendship U, we teach to you (and you!)
All of our friendship knowledge
You'll learn it all in half the time
At the one and only friendship college
Twilight Sparkle: How can anypony learn friendship in half the time?
Flam: Our coursework is so accelerated, to take longer would be a crime!
[Flim]
The lessons that we teach have been
Reviewed and checked and edited
[Flam]
Which might explain why our new school's
[Flim and Flam]
About to be accredited
At Friendship U, oh, yes, it's true
Even the Princess of Friendship agrees
The only place in Equestria
To give out friendship degrees
Yeah!
[Ponies]
Friendship U!
Friendship U!
Friendship U!
Flim: That's it, everypony! Let's hear it! Tell us again why it's the best!
[All]
It's the only university of Friendship U!
[Flim and Flam]
Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: Accredited?
Flam: It means officially recognized or authorized.
Rarity: We know what it means. But who would accredit this place?
Chancellor Neighsay: Why, the EEA, of course.
Twilight Sparkle: Chancellor Neighsay?!
Chancellor Neighsay: The Equestria Educational Association has taken an interest in institutions that teach friendship in a pony-first environment. Surely you didn't think your school has a monopoly on the concept?
Rarity: Well, she did write the book on it.
Chancellor Neighsay: Ah, yes. How to teach friendship to creatures who will one day use it as a weapon against us.
Twilight Sparkle: How could they use friendship as a weapon?!
Chancellor Neighsay: You tell me. It's your book. Meantime, this university appears to be a promising option for ponies who'd prefer to stick to the EEA book on the subject.
Twilight Sparkle: You can't be serious. They're obviously up to something. It's Flim and Flam!
Flim: [gasps] Well, that certainly wasn't friendly.
Chancellor Neighsay: One would think the headmare of a school of friendship – albeit an unaccredited one – would behave differently. Unless she was trying to undermine the competition? Hmm?
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: I— No! What?! I-I am not!
Audience Pony: I did think the Princess of Friendship would be friendlier.
Flam: Now, now, fillies and gentlecolts. Let's show the princess just how friendly we are by signing up for some classes!
[ponies cheering]
Flim: Why don't I show you around?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, but approval from the EEA won't convince me that this school is what you promise.
Flim: And what would it take to convince you?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, somepony whose opinion I respect, for one.
Flim: Really? Somepony like... this?
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: [gasp]
Star Swirl the Bearded: Twilight?
Rarity: Uh-oh.
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl? What are you doing here?
Star Swirl the Bearded: Why, studying friendship at Flim and Flam's wonderful school!
Rarity: Oh, please. I think I know a disguise when I see one. Take off that ridiculous beard... Flam!
[stretching sound]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [screams]
Flam: How's it going in here?
[snap!]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [groans] It-It's really me.
Chancellor Neighsay: I'd heard rumors you've returned, but I didn't believe it until now. And if a pony of your stature is studying here, there really isn't anything else I need to see. I, Chancellor Neighsay, hereby confer upon Friendship University complete and unreserved EEA accreditation!
Twilight Sparkle: I... I don't understand. Why would you come here and not my school?
Star Swirl the Bearded: My travels brought me to Las Pegasus. I didn't come for the school, but Flim and Flam convinced me to try it out.
Twilight Sparkle: You can't trust Flim and Flam! They tried to con the Apples out of their farm! They sold fake health tonic! They run a resort in Las Pegasus!
Flam: Technically, our resort is a legitimate business.
Star Swirl the Bearded: I spent a thousand years thinking the worst of a "bad" pony. You taught me to look for the best in him. Whatever Flim and Flam's past may be, starting this school shows they want to change for the better.
Twilight Sparkle: I wish I could believe that.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Besides, what's untrustworthy about opening a school of friendship? They don't even charge for classes.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But I know they're up to something. And until I find out, I'm begging you, come to my school instead.
Chancellor Neighsay: I understand feeling threatened by competition, but my word, Princess. I wonder if the ill manners of the creatures at your school aren't contagious. I think I will take my leave before I become infected.
Star Swirl the Bearded: Twilight, I promise I'll visit your school soon. But for now, perhaps it's best if you return there.
Twilight Sparkle: You don't think they're running an actual friendship school, do you?
Rarity: Darling, of course not. Which is why we have to investigate!
Twilight Sparkle: But we can't go poking around the school. Everypony'll think I'm still just "threatened by the competition".
Rarity: Only if we do it as ourselves.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Rarity: In these disguises, we could pass as students at out own school.
Twilight Sparkle: [muffled] I don't know, Rarity.
Rarity: Ah-ah. What did I say about using our real names?
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, "Plainity". But I'm pretty sure this isn't enough of a disguise.
[door closes]
"Polo Play": Hey, strangers! Are you two new here?
Rarity: [blows bubblegum] We sure are. Completely new.
"Polo Play": Great! See ya in class!
Rarity: [squeals] Now, I've read enough Shadow Spade to know the key to going undercover is rehearsing your backstory. [clears threat, in affected voice] I'm "Plainity". and I love bland old normal stuff. No frills for me. [normal voice] Okay! Your turn.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] My name's Eyepatch. I have an eye patch.
Rarity: Perfect! Now, how do we start our investigation?
Twilight Sparkle: I think we should split up. You enroll in some classes and find out what they're actually teaching. I'll look around and see what I can find, assuming I'm not recognized.
Flam: Welcome, newest students! Let's dive right in, shall we? One of the most important elements of friendship is being thoughtful. True or false?
[students chattering eagerly]
Rarity: If by "thoughtful" you mean "generous", I'd say true.
Flam: Correct! [laughs] It was a trick question. Very impressive, Miss...?
Rarity: Plainity.
Flam: Well, well, well, Miss Plainity, keep it up and you'll be ready for our next level in no time!
[students' sounds of awe]
Flam: Now, let's see if you can demonstrate for the class. What's something generous you could do for... me right now?
[zip!]
Flam: Class, Plainity here is now my star pupil. If any of you want a chance at studying with Star Swirl, I'd take notes on her every action.
[writing sounds]
[door creaks]
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? The door is open, so I'll just assume it's okay to come in and look around. Unless somepony says it's not. All right, then.
[door closes]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "The Element of Laughter and its applications." Okay, that seems pretty genuine. "When to support your friends' decisions and when to talk sense." Huh. That's actually kind of interesting. Aha! "Friendship University's true goal... is to help friends become better friends"? [groans] Where is the proof that it's all a scam?
Flam: There isn't any!
[click]
[camera flashes]
Flim: Twilight Sparkle! Did you really think an eye patch was enough of a disguise?
Twilight Sparkle: No, I didn't!
Flam: Well, then we agree that everypony will recognize the Princess of Friendship in this photo of you sneaking into our office.
Flim: I can see the headline now! "Princess of Jealousy! Twilight Sparkle Bent on Ruining Her Competition!"
Flam: So sad. A news story like that would destroy your reputation. Nopony will want to go to your school after that.
Flam: Just wait until the papers get a hold of this!
Flim: "Princess Unhinged!" It'll be the talk of Equestria!
Star Swirl the Bearded: Well, gentleponies, I've finished another stack. The lessons in these worksheets are quite fascinating. Twilight? What's going on here?
Flim: Oh, just your protégé getting caught snooping in our office in disguise! Well, sort of.
Flam: Oh, honestly, Princess Twilight, envy does not look good on you.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not envious! I know these two are up to something. I'm just trying to find out what.
Star Swirl the Bearded: The only pony I see who is up to something is the pony in this picture, and it is not the princess I know.
Flim: Well, it's about to be the princess all of Equestria knows.
Flam: Unless... you decided to drop the whole "uncover the scam" thing.
Flim: Then we'll rip this silly picture up and not let it completely and utterly ruin you and your school.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers]
Rarity: You can be generous with all sorts of things. Gifts, compliments, your time.
[ponies chattering excitedly]
Rarity: Hey, Eyepatch! Where's your eye patch? [gasps] Was your cover blown?
Twilight Sparkle: You could say that. Flim and Flam took a picture of me sneaking into their office.
Rarity: Were we wearing our eye patch?
Twilight Sparkle: If I don't stop investigating, they're going to tell everypony that I'm trying to sabotage their school because I'm jealous.
Rarity: But-But-But that's ridiculous!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. Maybe I am just upset that Star Swirl came here instead of my school. Flim and Flam may have turned over a new leaf. We should probably just go home.
Rarity: Twilight, you are not the kind of pony to let your emotions cloud your judgment. If you think Flim and Flam are up to no good, you can't give up, even if their lessons really are impressive.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait, what?!
Rarity: Which reminds me. Can you get a message to Spike? I want to return those sewing machines. I need the bits if I'm going to keep advancing here. Tuition's free, but the worksheets sure aren't. [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Flim and Flam are charging for these?
Rarity: Well, they have to cover expenses, and Flam insists that everything extra goes to improving the school and—
[beat]
Rarity: This is the scam, isn't it?
Twilight Sparkle: Let's find out.
Star Swirl the Bearded: These lessons are so valuable. Are you sure I can't give you more?
Flam: Ah-ah-ah! Unnecessary! Being able to share them with a pony like you is our real reward. [to Destitute Pony] Oh, my. And you want to study alongside Star Swirl, hmm?
Destitute Pony: It's all I have.
[paper rips]
Flim: Come back for the rest when you can afford it.
Destitute Pony: W-Wait! I'll sell the shirt off my back!
Flam: And that's the kind of determination that'll get you to the next level, student whose... name I know!
Rarity: [whispering] Twilight, maybe I should take over the investigation. Think of your reputation!
Twilight Sparkle: My reputation isn't worth much if I won't risk it for what I think is right. Besides, I have a plan.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[door opens]
[cranking sounds]
[door slams]
[door opens]
[bits jingling]
Flim: Well, brother of mine, we've got almost all the bits we need to expand our resort. If we add another level of classes and worksheets, we'll be there.
Flam: Maybe we should add two levels, just to be safe.
[beep!]
[powering-up sounds]
[water running]
Flim: [sighs] It's a thing of beauty. But I was thinking. What if we added another extreme pool slide here?
Flam: Mmmm... Sure, as long as the pipes for the musical chocolate fountain go through... here.
Twilight Sparkle: But shouldn't it go closer to the pudding hot tub here?
Flim: Fair point, but— What?!
Twilight Sparkle: I knew your school was a scam!
Flim: Well, well, well, if it isn't the Princess of Jealousy. I guess we'll be going to the papers after all.
Twilight Sparkle: And I suppose I'll just lead your students into this secret room of bits and resort expansion plans!
Flam: Uhhhh... l-let's not get hasty. You have something on us. We have something on you. Let's just call it even.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think so. You can destroy my reputation if you want, but using your students' bits to expand your resort is wrong, even if the lessons you teach are good ones.
Flam: Of course they're good. We copied them from your book.
Flim: We just skipped every other page. All the lessons, half the time!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] Fine. If you really want to call it even, give back the bits and stop charging for my lessons. Then you can teach them as much as you like.
Flim and Flam: Nah!
Flim: Running a school is more work than we thought. Besides, we almost have everything we need.
[zip!]
Rarity: I think not!
Flam: Plainity? My star pupil?
Rarity: [affected voice] Not Plainity, but... [normal voice] Rarity!
[beat]
Flim: Who?
Rarity: We decided to bring somepony else here to listen to everything you just said!
Flim: [stutters] Hey, Star Swirl. We were just about to—
Star Swirl the Bearded: Return the bits you've collected from your students and close your school?
Flam: [gulps] Yeah. That.
[bits jingling]
Star Swirl the Bearded: [sighs] It seems I'll never stop learning from your example, Twilight. It is a valuable lesson to stand up for what you know is true. I wish I had known it, too.
Student 4: Thanks for returning our bits. But how are we going to learn about friendship now?
[disappointed murmuring]
Star Swirl the Bearded: Well, I can refer you to a fairly reputable establishment just outside of Ponyville. I'm quite certain the headmare would consider letting you in.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
[students cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Of course, if I ever go to a school again, I'll make sure it's yours. In friendship, Star Swirl."
Rarity: I still don't understand how Flim and Flam could have gotten a copy of your book.
[door opens]
Cozy Glow: Uh, I finished straightening up in the library. Professor Rarity, I just wanted to make sure you're definitely keeping these.
Rarity: But of course, darling. If there's one thing I learned at Friendship University, it is not to give up when you know what's right. And I know teaching friendship through sewing is right! I just need to figure out how.
[credits]

The End in Friend

[school bell rings]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! Rarity! Just the pony I'm looking for! Can you come to Twilight's class with me? It won't take long.
Rarity: Oh, I'd love to help, but I have to meet Rainbow Dash for our day of fun together.
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight wants to use you as an example for the students.
Rarity: Ooh!
[door opens]
Rarity: Your example is here! [laughs] Oh!
Rainbow Dash: I thought I was the example.
Twilight Sparkle: You both are. Because together, you perfectly demonstrate my lesson on compromise in friendship. Rainbow Dash and Rarity have very different interests that keep them busy. But being friends is so important to them, they always manage to make time for each other.
Rarity: [laughs nervously] Our day of fun was hard to plan, what with Rainbow Dash's extremely time-consuming and erratically scheduled Wonderbolts practice.
Rainbow Dash: And Rarity's weird fashion seasons. She's working on her winter collection, and it's not even summer yet!
Twilight Sparkle: But you still found time to be together, and that's what counts. See, class? These ponies are models of true friendship in action.
[pencils scribbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy your day of fun!
Silverstream: Ooh! Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! What amazing stuff are you gonna do together?!
Rarity:
Shoe shopping!
Dress shopping!
Fabric dyeing!
Rainbow Dash:
Obstacle races!
Buckball!
Flight goggle shopping!
Rainbow Dash: Aw, come on! I even said "shopping" that time!
Rarity: Perfect! We'll go shopping first.
Rainbow Dash: But I brought stuff for buckball to—
Smolder: Are we supposed to be learning something here? 'Cause this doesn't sound like compromising at all.
Gallus: Yeah, you guys have nothing in common. How can you be friends?
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [laughing nervously]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Even though Rainbow Dash and Rarity enjoy doing different things, there are plenty of reasons why they're friends.
Yona: Uh, like what?
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] We've always been friends.
Ocellus: Always?
Rainbow Dash: Well, no. Not always. But for like a super long time.
Rarity: And we know all the same ponies.
Smolder: Um, is that it?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, there was that time during the Cloudsdale Best Young Flyer Competition that I totally saved Rarity's life.
Rarity: Yes! And I once proved Rainbow Dash's innocence to her beloved Wonderbolts when she was being framed for a mysterious incident.
Sandbar: Cool! What else?
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight Sparkle: [laugh nervously]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, look. It may seem like Rarity and Rainbow Dash don't have that much in common when you try to put it into words, but sometimes friendships can't be explained. You just have to see them in action to understand.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, that's a great idea!
Twilight Sparkle: Just go about your day of fun as you normally would. You won't even know we're here!
Rainbow Dash: [singsongy] Game on!
[sports theme]
[thwacking]
Rainbow Dash: Rarity! You were supposed to be holding your bucket!
Rarity: Hmm? Oh! Sorry, darling. Wearing this drab jersey gave me an idea for a buckball-inspired line of "athleisure" wear that would allow for maximum flexibility and style! Uh, but I'm ready now! [blink, blink]
Rainbow Dash: Good! 'Cause this time, I'm gonna try something new and super-intense!
[sports theme continues]
[thwacking]
[whirr!]
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: Rarity! Are you even paying attention?!
Rarity: What? Oh! I mean, of course! Uh, I held my bucket and everything!
Rainbow Dash: But you have to catch the ball!
Rarity: Really? Well, that sounds dangerous.
Rainbow Dash: [quietly, to herself] Oh, forget it. She's never gonna understand the point of this game. [out loud] Buckball time is over!
Rarity: [sighs] Finally!
Twilight Sparkle: Uhhh, see? They did something Rainbow Dash likes, so now it's time for something Rarity likes. Compromise!
Rarity: Hmmm... I'm genuinely not sure. Are they too in style?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, isn't that what you want them to be?
Rarity: Oh, yes, yes. But they should be ahead of the curve. If they're in fashion right now, then they're practically already out.
Rainbow Dash: That doesn't make any sense.
Rarity: Hmmm... Perhaps I should get the stilettos instead. What do you think?
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Unless you like tripping with every step, heels on a horse are pretty useless.
Rarity: [nickers] Au contraire. They're perfect in a multitude of situations. Formal functions, afternoon teas, evening teas, high tea, tea by the sea, royal tea—
Rainbow Dash: Can they clean up glitter? Ew! It's on my hooves! Are we done yet?! [groans] This is sooooo boring!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash and Rarity are just, uh, showcasing an aspect of friendship called "banter", the playful and friendly exchange of remarks. [laughs nervously] It's all in good fun.
[pencils scribbling]
Rarity: Ooh, I cannot wait! Collecting gemstones is my favorite!
Rainbow Dash: Finally, something we can agree on! Treasure hunting!
Rarity and Rainbow Dash: [laugh, hoof-bump]
Twilight Sparkle: See, everycreature? That didn't take long. Now they're having a great time together.
[pencils scribbling]
Rarity: Ooh! Magnifique! This will be perfect for the emerald-encrusted romper I've been working on!
Rainbow Dash: Cool! Now, what would be even cooler is if we could find a treasure chamber or something! Now, if I were a secret door, where would I be?
[knocking]
[crack]
[thud]
Rarity: Ugh, Rainbow Dash! Could you please refrain from all of that racket? It's muddying my concentration.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Look! A lever! [grunts] It's stuck! Come help me, Rarity!
Rarity: [sighs] Just a moment.
[thumping]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
[crash!]
[shatters]
Rarity: [gasps] You ruined my gems!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, you ruined my treasure hunt!
Rarity: Ugh! This wasn't about treasure! It was about finding gemstones for my winter collection!
Rainbow Dash: Who cares about clothes?! We're supposed to be on an adventure together!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-oh.
Rarity: That... is... it! This "day of fun" is officially over!
Rainbow Dash: Fine by me! Maybe I can spend some time doing something I actually like now!
Young Six: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously] Surely, you don't mean that. You're just having a little disagreement. [to students] Sometimes that happens between pals. But no matter what, they can always get past the problem and stay good friends.
Rainbow Dash: I don't think we can. [to Rarity] You don't care about any of the things I like! It's always about you and your boring fashions!
Rarity: Oh, puh-lease! You don't even give my interests a chance! You have absolutely no respect for the finer things! No respect, I tell you!
Rarity:
I suppose we're just not friends anymore!
Rainbow Dash:
I guess we're just not friends anymore!
Students: [gasp]
[pencils scribbling]
Rarity: ...And then there was the time Rainbow Dash called my Cloudsdale Couture Boutique idea "impractical"! Imagine that! Just because I needed Twilight to perform the butterfly wing spell on me whenever I wanted to deliver merchandise!
Rainbow Dash: ...And I told her a thousand times Pegasi don't even want restrictive heavy dresses! We need to be able to fly! Duh!
Rarity: Not to mention the day I was wearing a really gorgeous hat, and Rainbow Dash didn't even notice!
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts show was ruined! Rarity's hat was blocking everypony's view!
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [snarl]
Starlight Glimmer: Enough! Guidance counseling is for talking out your problems, not telling me everything that's ever happened in the history of Equestria! [groans] But I've learned sometimes talking isn't enough. You need to put yourselves in one another's shoes.
Rainbow Dash: No way am I wearing those!
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] What I'm saying is we need a way to help you two reconnect. Follow me!
[doors open]
Rainbow Dash: The library? And this helps us how?
Starlight Glimmer: You both love books. Rainbow Dash never stops talking about Daring Do adventures, and you're a huge fan of Shadow Spade mysteries.
Rarity: Your point?
Starlight Glimmer: The perfect way for you two to reconnect as friends is to read each other's favorite book. I'll read them, too. Then we'll all discuss afterward. It'll be a "Good Friends Book Club". Okay? I'll bring snacks.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Fine!
Rarity: If you insist.
Starlight Glimmer: Great! We're all here! To start, why don't you two share one thing you liked about each other's books?
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay. I'll go first. Uh, I really enjoy the part in Daring Do and the Razor of Dreams when Daring used a vicious cragadile as a raft, and then—
Rarity: [giggles] Please.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what's so funny?
Rarity: Oh, sorry. It's just that I find those action sequences so ridiculously over-the-top.
Rainbow Dash: But they're real! You even met Daring Do!
Rarity: Yes, but the book's descriptions just drag on, and what about those silly unpronounceable names? Doctor whozit-whatsit... [Spanish pronunciation] Caballeron?
Rainbow Dash: Ca-ba-ller-on! Just like it looks! How hard is that?! [snarls]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, tea, anypony? Cucumber sandwich? [laughs nervously] Or we could go over some nice friendly talking points.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] Seriously?! Don't even get me started on those clothing descriptions in Shadow Spade! What a yawn fest!
Rarity: [stutters] But... the outfit descriptions are an integral part of the plot of The Colt in Crimson: A Shadow Spade Mystery!
Rainbow Dash: [insincere yawning]
Rarity: You see, if you didn't know that Sir Fluffingsworth von Radishfield wears only silk, double-breasted waistcoats, you'd never deduce that he, in fact, was the culprit!
Rainbow Dash: W-Wait. He was?
Rarity: [gasps] You didn't even read it!
Starlight Glimmer: [quietly, to herself] I can see I'm gonna need reinforcements.
[teleportation zap]
Rainbow Dash: Not my fault it's so boring and put me to sleep!
Rarity: If you can't be bothered to read the thing I like, that just further illustrates the point that we have nothing in common anymore!
Cherry Fizzy, Savoir Fare, Rose, Lyra Heartstrings, Sweetie Drops: [collective gasp]
Rainbow Dash: At least we agree on that! From now on, I'm only hanging out with ponies who get me!
Cherry Fizzy, Savoir Fare, Rose, Lyra Heartstrings, Sweetie Drops: [deeper collective gasp]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Your drama can wait! Twilight needs help! Now!
Twilight Sparkle: [panicking noises]
Starlight Glimmer: [panting] Any luck?
Twilight Sparkle: No! It's goooone!
Rainbow Dash: What's gone?
Twilight Sparkle: The Amulet of Aurora!
Rarity: [gasps] One of the magical items you've been keeping for Princess Celestia?
Twilight Sparkle: That amulet can reverse the tides and summon tsunamis! If it falls into the wrong hooves, Equestria will be in grave danger!
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, Twilight! I know tons about searching for lost treasure!
Rarity: And if I follow the culprit's clues, I'm certain I can find who took your amulet!
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! I'll feel so much better knowing you two are looking for it together!
Starlight Glimmer: While we work on a locator spell. It's the perfect solution!
[closet doors open]
Rarity: There appear to be no signs of damage to the surrounding artifacts, suggesting the thief did not leave in a hurry.
[clattering]
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, your boots are leaving sparkles all over the floor!
Rarity: Pfft! Those aren't from my boots. Mine are magenta, not blue. See?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Rarity: I mean, really!
[doors open]
Rarity: [panting] Turns out these boots were not "made for trotting," as advertised. Where are you going?! We promised Twilight we'd work together!
Rainbow Dash: Don't you see? The Amulet of Aurora is made out of Azurantium!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Azurantium? You know! The same metal that the Amulet of Atonement from Daring Do book four is made from? It always leaves sparkles wherever it goes. Just like this, remember? It's from the book you just read!
Rarity: [laughs nervously] That book! Yes! The one I-I just... just read! Ha-ha-ha!
Rainbow Dash: Seriously?! After giving me all that grief, you didn't read mine either?!
Rarity: Oopsie?
Rainbow Dash: [groans] As soon as we find this amulet, we are done with each other!
Rarity: Fine by me!
Rarity: [panting] Ooh! Rainbow Dash, slow down! You're flying past important clues! Look, it's a print. But definitely not a hoof. Are those claw marks?
Rainbow Dash: Who cares? I found a bigger clue!
[geyser spewing]
Rarity: I hope you don't expect me to... [shudders] ...wade through that.
[submerging]
[plop]
Rainbow Dash: Nah. It's too deep. We'll get stuck.
Rarity: Ooh. Clever. What Daring Do book did you get that from?
Rainbow Dash: Actually, I learned it at Scootaloo's Filly Guides camp.
Rarity: [sighs] At least you can fly across.
[geysers spewing]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps, grunts] Nope. If one of those geysers burns off my wing feathers, I'll be out of the Wonderbolts for weeks. [groans] I could...
[construction sounds under]
Rainbow Dash: ...try and slingshot my way through. But I'd need two perfectly placed trees, some stretchy rope, and a pith helmet. [groans] Too bad we can't do what Daring Do did in book four and find a cragadile for a raft.
Rarity: Ta-daaa! The S.S. Cragadile, at your service!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, that... is... awesome! Uh, I mean, it's all right, I guess.
[dragging sounds]
Rainbow Dash: How did you know how to do that?
Rarity: Mmm. We may have been friends for a super-long time, but you don't know everything about me yet.
[splashing]
[wings revving]
[geysers spewing]
Rarity: [gasps] The glitter trail! It's gone!
Rainbow Dash: How are we supposed to find the Amulet of Aurora now?
[leaves rustling]
Bufogren: [croaks]
Rarity: [screams]
Bufogren: [quietly] Owww. Ears. Why hoof-hoofs yell? Too, too loud.
Rarity: [loudly] Sorry! What did you say?!
Bufogren: [quietly] Too, too loud.
Rainbow Dash: I think it's a Bufogren. They have really sensitive ears. [whispering loudly] Did you happen to see anycreature with a sparkly thingy go this way?
Bufogren: Saw it.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [gagging]
Rainbow Dash: Hold that thought! [gasping]
Rarity: [coughing]
Rainbow Dash: His breath smells so bad, I can't think! But we can't hear him from back here. Now what?
Rarity: Hmmm... [sniffs] Aha! I think I have the perfect solution. An old unicorn beauty trick. That is, if you can somehow procure us a tiny bit of cloud?
Rainbow Dash: Now that I can do!
[geyser spewing]
[spinning]
Rarity: Ooh! It's adorable! [nose pinched] Um, excuse me, kind sir. I have a special treat for you in exchange for your information.
Bufogren: Ooh... What's that?
Rarity: [nose pinched] It is a magical unicorn delicacy called "Effervescence". Very now. Very chic. [yells]
Bufogren: Owww!
Rarity: Sorry, sorry. Enjoy.
Bufogren: Mmmmm.... My mouth. Fresh and minty. [nomming]
Rarity: [sniffs, sighs] Good. Uh, now, which way did the sparkly thing go?
Bufogren: Up-up. Up there.
Rarity: Thank you! [to Rainbow Dash] Well, what are you waiting for? Go on! Fly up there and get that amulet!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, we're doing this together, remember?
Rarity: But how can we— [screams, panicky noises, panting]
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, but I wasn't leaving you behind in that swamp.
Rarity: [exhales] Thank you.
[door jiggles]
[knocking]
Rainbow Dash: Huh. Maybe the key to unlocking this thing is in these inscriptions.
Rarity: Or perhaps the key is right here!
[click]
Rarity: I couldn't decide between the boots and the stilettos, so I got both!
[lock unlatching]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: High heels could do that?
Rarity: And you called them "useless".
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I shouldn't have said that. Or made fun of the other stuff you like to do. Some of it's actually sorta neat.
Rarity: I... owe you an apology, too. Buckball may not be my thing, but it's something you enjoy. And you're very good at it. I never should've treated your interests like they were worth less than mine.
Rainbow Dash: Soooo... does this mean we're still friends?
Rarity: I would very much like that. Now let's go find that amulet!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! [laughs]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Wait! That tunnel leads to the... school? A secret passage! Awesome!
Rarity: [gasps] Spikey-wikey! You stole the Amulet of Aurora?!
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly.
Rarity: You mean, this was a setup to make us get along?
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry to interfere, but you both...
Rainbow Dash: ...reeeeeally needed it.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [laugh]
Smolder: So even though you don't like any of the same stuff, you two are friends again?
Rarity: Heh. Always. I think we just needed a teensy reminder.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. We don't have to love the exact same things to have fun together. I mean, imagine if we did! How boring would that be?
Rarity: When we give each other a chance to share the different things we enjoy, it can be surprisingly wonderful! [sighs] Too bad we wasted our day of fun.
Rainbow Dash: We still have a little time left. You wanna... go hit the shops? I could actually use your help picking out some new buckball gear.
Rarity: Do I?! But only if you help me choose some buckball fan attire, so I can cheer for my favorite player at the drop of a fabulous hat!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, yeah! Let's go already!
Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [laugh, happy chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: [to students] See? Good friends always work through their differences.
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs] Even if it takes a little help.
[credits]

Yakity-Sax

[birds tweeting]
[rustling]
[honk!]
[birds fluttering]
Fluttershy: Huh? [gasps] Some poor creature's in trouble! We have to help it! Oh, listen to that suffering! It must be in horrible agony!
[dissonant music]
[screech]
Fluttershy: Ooh! It sounds like a herd of injured chimerae! [pants] Or it's Cerberus with snifflitis in two of its heads and kennel cough in its third. Or maybe it's—
[screech]
[dissonant music continues]
Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie?
[music stops]
Pinkie Pie: Thaaaaaaaat's me! And a-one, and a-two, and a-I know what to do! [inhales deeply]
[dissonant music resumes]
Fluttershy: Ugh. At least no animal is suffering. Right, Angel?
[plop]
Fluttershy: [laughs nervously] Well, until now.
[theme song]
[dissonant music]
[ponies screaming]
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: [scream, groan]
Applejack: What is that thing?
Twilight Sparkle: It's called a yovidaphone. It's from Yakyakistan, where it's actually quite popular.
Rainbow Dash: Is it supposed to sound like that?
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly. It's known to produce a fairly complicated, melodically rich, and harmonious tone.
[bird chirping]
[bird squawks]
[music continues]
Rainbow Dash: Are you sure we're talking about the same thing?
[blare!]
[music ends]
Pinkie Pie: [panting] Phew! And that's with only a few days of practice! Can you believe it?!
[honk!]
Rarity: Yes. Yes, I can.
Applejack: I can honestly say I've never heard anything like it in my life.
Pinkie Pie: Well, if you enjoyed listening to my playing half as I enjoyed playing my playing, then I should totally play more! That way, we'll be even!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I don't think that's necessary, Pinkie.
Rest of the Mane Six: [agreeing]
Rainbow Dash: Please. Don't.
Pinkie Pie: There's a chance I may have missed a note or two here or there, but I just love playing so much! [sighs] You complete me.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I, for one, am glad you're having so much fun with your new hobby.
Pinkie Pie: [not listening] Uh-huh. Sure.
Twilight Sparkle: And it's great that you're learning a new skill, and... and you're just waiting for me to finish talking so you can start playing again, aren't ya?
Pinkie Pie: No! But if you're done... And a-one, and a-two, and a-I know what to do! [inhales deeply]
[dissonant music resumes]
Fluttershy: [sighs, to Angel Bunny] It's okay. She's gone.
Applejack: Anypony else think that sounded like an apple core cut up in a pulp grinder?
Rarity: Apple-solutely! Uh, absolutely.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so maybe she isn't good yet. But she's our friend, and we should be supportive.
Applejack: She just started playin'. She's bound to get better. Right?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we just need to be supportive of her practicing... [groans] So the getting-better part happens as fast as possible.
Rest of the Mane Six: [agreeing]
[yovidaphone plays]
Rarity: Aah! Aah! [sighs]
[animals snoring quietly]
[bird whistling snore]
Pinkie Pie: [inhales deeply]
[yovidaphone plays]
[animals crying]
[crowd cheering]
Pinkie Pie: [inhales deeply]
[yovidaphone plays]
[thud]
[yovidaphone plays]
[splattering]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're absolutely right, Spike. Sometimes it is nice to get out of the library and be in the sun.
Spike: Especially when you take the library with you.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles]
[screech]
Applejack: [burbles, sighs] We need to do somethin' about Pinkie Pie's playin'!
Rainbow Dash: Like, now!
Fluttershy: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Is it really that bad?
Rainbow Dash: Does this answer your question?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, a trophy?
Rainbow Dash: For second place. Second! Place! All because of Pinkie's playing!
Rarity: And I wanted to turn heads with my new fall line, but not like this! [sobbing]
Applejack: And thanks to her fruit-blastin' melodies, I got an orchard full of nothin' but applesauce! And it ain't even saucin' season!
Rarity: And just look what her playing did to poor Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [snores, gasps] Oh. So very tired. [yawning] It practically took me all night to get the nursery back to sleep. [resumes snoring]
Applejack: I mean, I know we said we should all be supportive, but Pinkie's been playin' for moons now, and she's not gettin' any better.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! If anything, she's gotten worse!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, maybe we can just pretend she's really good, and then I'll find a spell that will—
Applejack: Oh, no, no, no! We're not goin' through that again! Remember how well it worked out when you weren't honest with Celestia about her actin' ability?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] You're right. We'll just have to tell Pinkie Pie she's not very good at the yovidaphone.
[yovidaphone plays]
[ponies screaming]
Rarity: Well, there's no time like the present.
[music stops]
Pinkie Pie: Phew! Huh, that's weird. I coulda sworn this place was packed a second ago. Hey, guys! Can I favor you all with a tune? I take requests!
Applejack: Actually, we do have a request, and yeah, it involves your yovidaphone.
Pinkie Pie: You mean the thing I love more than anything else in Equestria? My sun, my moon, my stars, my everything? Ooh! Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Applejack: All right. In all honesty... Uh, in all honesty... Rarity has somethin' to say!
Rarity: Pinkie, please listen to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine! So, Pinkie, remember when we all were shocked to discover Princess Celestia wasn't so good at acting?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, she was awful! But that's kind of a random thing to bring up. I thought you wanted to talk about my yovidaphone playing.
Rainbow Dash: Well, it's, uh... It's just... You need to know, uh... Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Pinkie, we all support you, but we're afraid you're just not good at the yovidaphone, and none of us want you to waste your time on something you can't do well.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. [upbeat] Why didn't you just say so?
[air deflating]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We were all really nervous to tell you.
Pinkie Pie: Why? It's just a silly instrument. Well, lunch break's over. Gotta get back to the bakery. Those apple turnovers aren't gonna apple themselves! [whistles gleefully] No more yovidaphone playing for me-e-e!
[door closes]
Fluttershy: Wow. She took that so much better than I thought.
[trash can creaking]
[honk!]
Pinkie Pie: [sadly] No more yovidaphone playing for me. And a-one, and a-two, and I don't know what to do. [crying]
[indistinct conversations]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Another beautiful day in Ponyville.
Spike: Uh, Twilight, when was the last time you saw Pinkie Pie?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm, not since we told her to stop playing the yovidaphone. I'm still surprised with how well she took it.
Spike: I don't think she took it as well as you think she took it.
Daisy: Top of the morning to ya!
Pinkie Pie: Is it morning? I hadn't noticed.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not good.
Rainbow Dash: There you are! We've been looking all over for you!
Rarity: It turns out Pinkie may not have taken our critique of her yovidaphone playing in the spirit with which it was intended.
Twilight Sparkle: I saw.
[shriveling]
[shade closing]
Spike: There's gotta be something we can do.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure there is, Spike. We just have to figure out what.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I don't get it. So she's no good at playing the yovidaphone. What's the big deal? There are so many other things she's really good at doing.
Applejack: Yeah! Not bein' able to play the yovidaphone is nothin' compared to all the things she can do well.
Twilight Sparkle: And that's exactly what we'll show her! I bet if we get her to do the stuff she likes and is good at doing, she'll cheer right back up and forget all about the yovidaphone.
Applejack: Hoo-whee! That's a great idea!
[air squeaks, hisses]
Rarity: Let's get started. Apparently, there's not a moment to lose.
[music]
[tea pouring]
[clink]
[animals chittering]
Fluttershy: [slurps]
[bubbling]
[thud]
[weak party cannon squeak]
[party cannon squeak]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
[air hissing]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs, groans]
[spraying and popping]
Pinkie Pie: [sneezes]
[mirror shattering]
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy: [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: So, I'm guessing nopony had any success?
Applejack: [sighs] My party cannon idea was a real dud.
Rainbow Dash: Don't blame yourself. None of us did any better.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, not to worry. I came up with the perfect solution. Instead of trying to remind her what she's good at, we'll remind her what she's best at. And that's being our friend. We're gonna throw her a Pinkie Pie Appreciation Party!
Fluttershy: That's a wonderful idea! If anypony needs to know how much she's appreciated, it's Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash: We can get the whole town involved, just so she can see what a good friend she is to everypony.
Twilight Sparkle: Then I hereby officially declare today Pinkie Pie Appreciation Day!
Rest of the Mane Six: [cheer]
[various party noises]
Rarity: Now this is perfection!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! If anything could help Pinkie Pie cheer up and make her forget about her yovidaphone, this is definitely it!
Applejack: Sure is! Okay, who's gonna get her?
Twilight Sparkle: No need. Gummy's on it. In fact, there he is now!
[dragging noise]
[thump]
[beat]
Applejack: Uh, Gummy? You were supposed to bring Pinkie Pie. What happened?
Gummy: [blinks slowly]
Rarity: Is she still coming?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy, can you understand what he's saying?
Fluttershy: I could... if he was talking.
Spike: Let me try something. [slowly, loudly, and deliberately] Gummy! Where is Pinkie Pie?!
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should just go and get her.
[magic zap]
[party horn]
Applejack: What in tarnation is goin' on here?!
Rarity: This decor is dreadful.
Rainbow Dash: And all of Pinkie's stuff is... gone?!
Rarity: It is a puzzle.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Excuse me.
Rarity: Oh, yes, of course.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, Maud? Can I ask you a question?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You just did.
Applejack: Well, can I ask you a question?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You just did.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Fine! How about if I ask you a— Wait.
Rarity: Oh, for goodness' sakes! Maud. All of your sister's things are gone. Explain.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] No, they're not. They're right here.
Fluttershy: Have you seen Pinkie Pie?
Maud Pie: Lots of times. I grew up with her.
[cart rumbling]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's try this a different way. Why did you pack up all of Pinkie's things?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] She asked me to.
Rest of the Mane Six: What?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Pinkie told me to pack up her room and take everything to the rock farm.
Rest of the Mane Six: What?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] She said she wouldn't need them since she's moving to Yakyakistan.
Rest of the Mane Six: What?!
Rarity: Terribly sorry, Maud. Must've misheard you. It almost sounded like you said Pinkie's [chuckling] moved to Yakyakistan!
Applejack: Uh, Rarity? She did say that.
Rarity: Uh, terribly sorry, Applejack. Must've misheard you. It almost sounded like you said [chuckling] she did say that!
Twilight Sparkle: Maud, I don't understand. Why would Pinkie leave Ponyville?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Why would she want to go live with the yaks?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] She said without the yovidaphone, her life had no meaning, and at least in Yakyakistan, she could listen to the masters play. She hoped that would give her some semblance of happiness.
Rarity: Well, no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no! That will not do!
Applejack: I say we go to Yakyakistan right now and make her come back home!
Twilight Sparkle: We can't just march up there and tell Pinkie what to do.
Fluttershy: [tearing up] But... we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we may not be able to go to Yakyakistan and force her to come home, but we could go say goodbye... and if we happen to mention how much her friendship means to us, and how much we'd miss her if she were gone forever, and then she decided to come back home on her own...
Rainbow Dash: Then what are we waiting around here for?! Let's get going to Yakyakistan!
Rest of the Mane Six: [cheering]
Rest of the Mane Six: [various yelps and whoas]
Twilight Sparkle: We're almost there.
Applejack: Pinkie's gotta be around here somewhere.
Fluttershy: But where?
[distant yovidaphone playing]
Rarity: Is that...?
Twilight Sparkle: The music of the yovidaphone.
Rainbow Dash: Are you sure? Because that actually sounds kinda... good.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm sure. Come on.
[yovidaphone playing]
Rainbow Dash: Huh. Not what I expected.
Yaks: Shhhh!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, sorry.
Yaks: Shhhhhhh!
Rainbow Dash: [hushed] I said I was sorry!
Fluttershy: [hushed, gasps] There she is!
Pinkie Pie: [gulps] [despondent] Gimme another.
Yak waiter: But pony already had twenty-five ice—
Pinkie Pie: I said, gimme another!
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Pardon me!
Applejack: Excuse us.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, uh, sorry!
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] I feel nothing.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we can help with that.
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Oh. Hey. What are you guys doing here?
Applejack: Just hear us out.
Rainbow Dash: We respect your decision to move to Yakyakistan.
Twilight Sparkle: But we just wanted to remind you how much you mean to us, and how much we'd miss you if you decided to move here for—
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Fine. I'll move back to Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash: Wow. That was a lot easier than I thought. We're awesome!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, what's wrong?
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] That's what's wrong. I thought coming here and listening to real yovidaphone playing would make me happy.
[yaks applauding]
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] It makes me feel worse. I'm never gonna sound like that.
Yigrid: Yovidaphone fan pony watch instrument while Yigrid visit little yak's room?
Pinkie Pie: [despondent] Eh. If I can't play it, I might as well do menial chores for those who can.
Applejack: Okay, so Pinkie Pie is obviously still miserable.
Fluttershy: Oh, I can't bear to see her like this.
[yovidaphone honks]
Rarity: Indeed. But what else can we do?
[yovidaphone honks]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, we've tried everything!
Fluttershy: Maybe not. Look!
[yovidaphone honking]
Pinkie Pie: [stifled giggling] Whoops! Sorry!
[yovidaphone honking]
Pinkie Pie: I forgot what an awful yovidaphoner I am.
Twilight Sparkle: Playing it makes you so happy.
Pinkie Pie: [wistfully] [sighs] It sure does. I mean... it did.
Twilight Sparkle: Then you should never stop.
Rarity: So say we all!
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, under: [sounds of agreement]
Applejack: Absolutely.
Pinkie Pie: But... you were the ones who told me to stop because I wasn't good.
Twilight Sparkle: And we were wrong.
Fluttershy: Playing makes you happy.
Rarity: And as long as it makes you happy, it doesn't matter how good you are!
Applejack: So get up there and show these yaks how it's done!
Pinkie Pie: [stage whisper] I don't know if you've noticed, but the audience are all yaks, and they kind of have "issues" with things that aren't perfect! Like my playing!
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you get up on that stage and play. If these yaks don't like it, they'll have to answer to us!
Pinkie Pie: Well, okay... If you all say so...
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] Ladies and gentleyaks! Performing for her very first time here, let's give a big round of stomps for... Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: [clears throat] Um, hi! So, uh, any yaks here from out of town?
[yak snorts]
Pinkie Pie: Ooookay. And a-one, and a-two, and I-kinda-remember-what-to-do... [inhales]
[discordant yovidaphone playing]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[chicken squawks]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps for breath]
[beat]
[yaks cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Uhhh, I kinda wasn't expecting this.
Rainbow Dash: Me, neither.
Yigrid: [stomps] Oh, pony play good set!
Pinkie Pie: You think so? Even though it wasn't perfect?
Yigrid: Yovidaphone is instrument of happiness. Playing yovidaphone make pony happy. Pony playing is perfect!
Pinkie Pie: Well if that's the case, lemme play you the song I just wrote two seconds ago! It's called "I've Got the Best Most Supportive Friends a Pony Could Ever Ask For"! [aside] It's a working title.
Twilight Sparkle: And a-one...
Applejack and Rarity: And a-two...
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash: And a you-know-what-to-do!
Pinkie Pie: [inhales]
[yovidaphone plays until iris out]
[credits]

Road to Friendship

Starlight Glimmer: [dramatically] I don't know, folks. She's been in there a long time!
[crowd gasps]
Flurry Heart: [whimpers]
Starlight Glimmer: Do you suppose the Terrifying Trunk Escape is too much for her?! What if the Great and Powerful Trixie can't—?!
[poof]
Trixie: Escape?!
[crowd gasps]
Starlight Glimmer: But if you're there, who's in here?
[poof]
Trixie: Why, our volunteer, of course!
Granny Smith: [coughs] Crabapple surprise! You shoulda oughta tell a pony before ya go a-poofin' 'em around the stage!
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: Trixie, that was an amazing show!
Princess Cadance: Flurry Heart and I loved it! I'm so glad we decided to come. You two have a real chemistry.
Trixie: The Terrifying Trunk Escape does require a grrrreat and powerful assistant.
Princess Cadance: The way you two work together, it's like you've known each other as long as Twilight and I have.
Starlight Glimmer: It was pretty fun.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course it was! There's nothing better than a bond with another pony. You can share all kinds of things.
Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance: Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake! [giggle]
Starlight Glimmer: I think we'll stick to the stage magic for now.
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't chant.
[theme song]
Trixie: [sighs] As much as I love my one-pony show, it's always nice to come to Ponyville and perform with my great and powerful assistant. Cadance is right. We do work well together!
Starlight Glimmer: Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight's school! [gasps] Which I'm supposed to be doing right now!
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: See ya later.
[teleportation zap]
[door jiggles]
[thud]
Hoo'Far: Excuse me, Ms. Powerful...
Trixie: [giggles] Usually, ponies just call me Trixie. But "Ms. Powerful" has a nice ring.
Hoo'Far: From here to Saddle Arabia, I have seen nothing that compares with your wondrous show. Uh, would you consider blessing my homeland with it?
Trixie: I was just about to set out on tour. [grunts] But Saddle Arabia is much farther than my usual route. [grunts] Ugh!
[thud]
Trixie: [laughs] And, uh, my caravan might not be suited for an extended tour.
Hoo'Far: Mine is new and quite spacious. If it would help persuade you, I would happily trade it for yours.
Trixie: Trade it?! Heavens, no! This is more than just some great and powerful wagon you see before you! It is shelter. It is transportation. It is my only friend on the long and lonely nights on the road.
Hoo'Far: Very well. Then I must see as many of your performances as I can. If I cannot convince you to bring your tour to Saddle Arabia, I must be prepared to relate its magnificence to your many fans there.
Trixie: "Many fans", you say? [laughs] Well, I suppose I could consider the trip.
Hoo'Far: Wonderful! I look forward to seeing you on the road! And if you change your mind about the caravans, my offer remains open.
Trixie: Hmmm...
Trixie: It's just so far away. Of course, I love visiting new and exciting places. I am a traveling magician after all.
Starlight Glimmer: Hmmm. Sounds like your mind's made up.
Trixie: Not quite. The road is a lonely place. And this trip even more so. I was hoping I might convince my grrrrreat and powerful assistant to come along?
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
Trixie: Of course! You're not just my assistant and my counselor. You're also my friend. And what's better than a road trip with friends?
Starlight Glimmer: Nothing! This will be the best magical road trip ever!
[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: I should probably get somepony to cover my student counseling duties while we're gone.
[clattering]
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, are you all right?
[door opens]
Trixie: One caravan for two all set! Oh. You brought luggage. [nervous laugh] I mean, of course you brought luggage!
Starlight Glimmer: You bet I did! Everything two ponies need for the road trip of their lives! Three one-thousand-piece puzzles, one copy of Dragon Pit – the best board game in the history of ponies – my famous collection of campfire spices, and an inflatable raft. Did I forget something? I could pop back to the castle and grab it.
Trixie: Oh, no. It isn't that.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, maybe we don't need the raft.
Trixie: [sighs] We just needed a little great and powerful rrrrreorganization! [struggling] Now, everything... fits.. just... fine!
[crash]
Trixie: [sighs] Who am I kidding? My wagon is too small for us. I understand if you're having second thoughts.
Starlight Glimmer: Second thoughts? [scoffs] Are you kidding? This wagon isn't small. It's... eh... cozy. And there's no such thing as too cozy.
Trixie: Well, all right then! I guess it's time to hit the road! [struggling] I'll... start us off...
[crash]
[door closes]
[rattle]
[poof!]
Starlight Glimmer: [coughs] Okay. Maybe there is such a thing as too cozy.
Trixie: You're sure you wouldn't rather ride?
[rattle]
[poof!]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sure.
Trixie: And you're not backing out? The two of us sleeping in that cozy caravan could get tricky.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, there's plenty of high-quality inns to stay at on the way. Don't worry about it. I'm not backing out of the greatest and most powerful road trip bonding experience two ponies could ever have.
Trixie: Well, when you put it like that, I'm actually kind of excited!
Starlight Glimmer: Me, too! [sighs] Thank goodness we're not like Twilight or the others. They'd probably sing a song about it.
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're off on the road to friendship
Our ride might be tiny and small
Starlight Glimmer: Beats walking though, eh, Trix?
Trxie: I am walking.
[Trixie]
But road trips are a great way, we've been told, to get along
[Starlight Glimmer]
I'm glad we're sticking to it, we've already got a song
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're off on the road to friendship
Side by side, just like peas in a pod
[Trixie]
Our bond of friendship is stronger than this tour's demands
Hoo'Far: My offer to trade caravans still stands!
Starlight Glimmer: Wait, what did he say?
Trixie: Nothing!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're so tight, we can't move around
I guess we're stuck together 'cause we're friendship bound
Trixie: Sure is great traveling with you, buddy!
Starlight Glimmer: You too, buddy!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're off on the road to friendship
Trixie: Yes, we are!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We've each got the other to blame
[Starlight Glimmer]
Any trip can be exhausting if you make a fuss
[Trixie]
But we get on so well that's there no way that could be us
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're off on the road to friendship
And there's nowhere that we'd rather be
Trixie: Was that off-key?
[Starlight Glimmer]
In summer, winter, spring, and fall, we're friends throughout the year
[Trixie]
For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here
Starlight Glimmer: For nine, at least!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're so tight, we can't move around
Trixie: [quickly] Like a race where you tie your hooves together and you have to move in perfect synchronization to win!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're friendship boooooound
Starlight Glimmer: [quickly] Or like a buddy movie where the two protagonists can't get away from each other because they're wearing hoof-cuffs!
[Starlight Glimmer and Trixie]
We're friendship boooooound!
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laugh]
Trixie: Ooh, the marketplace. Perfect! I've learned the hard way that life on the road requires very specific supplies. And we only have so many bits. So we'll have to spend them wise...
Starlight Glimmer: [chewing]
Trixie: ...ly.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Sorry about wasting bits on street food.
Trixie: Oh, it's fine. Falafel bonding, right? [laughs] Besides, we still have enough for... haycakes and juice.
Starlight Glimmer: Um, why don't we go there?
Trixie: Oh, no-no-no. I always buy my haycakes here.
Starlight Glimmer: So we're just going to wait in line for hours? Uh, which is totally cool! Waiting-in-line bonding! Right?
Trixie: After our falafel purchase, we weren't able to get everything on my list. But we are definitely set for breakfast.
Starlight Glimmer: And I'm sure we'll find out that waiting in that super-long line was worth it.
Trixie: A few hiccups always happen. We'll be back on the road to friendship after a good night's sleep.
Mrs. Trotsworth: We're all full!
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [gasp]
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I'm sure we'll find something.
Tall Pony: Nope.
[door closes]
Short Pony: Sorry.
[curtain draws]
Round Pony: All full!
[door closes]
Hoo'Far: Ah, the Glowpaz Festival. Somnambula is no doubt filled to the brim. Luckily, travelers such as ourselves have our caravans.
Trixie: [laughs, to Starlight] You said there'd be plenty of places to stay. "Don't even worry about it," you said. Ya might've thought to make a reservation!
Starlight Glimmer: Um, I've been with you singing and standing in line. When would I have done that?
Trixie: I don't know. But I'm starting to think you aren't as great and powerful an assistant as I thought!
Starlight Glimmer: So you just brought me along to do your legwork?
Trixie: [sighs] No. Of course not. I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I was really looking forward to a relaxing night in a nice room.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Me, too. But since there's literally no room at the inns, I guess it's lucky we've got the wagon.
Starlight Glimmer: [unenthusiastically] Sleeping-in-tight-quarters bonding.
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [unenthusiastically] Yaaaaay.
[bumping]
Starlight Glimmer: [grunting, groans]
Trixie: Is there something I can do to make things more comfortable for you?
Starlight Glimmer: You could get rid of this junk.
[clattering]
Trixie: Yes, well, before we throw away the magical items it's taken me years to collect, we could try switching hammocks.
Starlight Glimmer: Fine.
[clang]
[birds chirping]
Starlight Glimmer: [snoring loudly]
Trixie: [gasps] Hmm? [whispering] Starlight! Starlight! I think there's a wild animal outside!
[thud]
Trixie: Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: [continues snoring]
Trixie: Starlight!
Starlight Glimmer: [startled noises] What?
Trixie: I'm sorry. Your snoring is a bit, um...
Starlight Glimmer: Loud? [nervous laugh] Yeah, I do that. I had my village convinced we were being attacked by bears every night.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs, clears throat] But we probably need a better solution here.
Trixie: [sleepily muttering] Ladies and gentleponies... Great and Powerful Trixie... amazing feats...
Starlight Glimmer: Seriously?!
Trixie: [sleepily muttering] Prepare to be amazed...
Starlight Glimmer: [munching]
[door opens]
Trixie: [grumpily] Sleep well?
Starlight Glimmer: [grumpily] Sure did.
Trixie: Is, uh, that the last of the haycakes?
Starlight Glimmer: [chomps] Oh. Yeah. Sorry.
Trixie: It's fine.
[juice pours]
Starlight Glimmer: I don't suppose there's any more juice.
[drip]
Trixie: [glugs] Ahhh! Nah. I guess we'll have to resupply.
[door opens]
Hoo'Far: What a glorious morning! I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the first show of your tour!
Starlight Glimmer: Is he gonna be following us for the whole time?!
Trixie: I do not know.
[crowd murmurs]
Starlight Glimmer: [flatly] She's been in there a long time. Do you suppose the Terrifying Trunk Escape is too much for a pony who drinks all the juice and talks non-stop in her sleep?! What if the Great and Powerful Trixie can't...
[poof]
Trixie: Sleep?! Because her roommate snores like an ursa major?!
[crowd murmuring]
Starlight Glimmer: [flatly] But if you're there, who's in here?
[poof]
"Cortland": There's not much room in here!
Trixie: At least you don't have to sleep in it with another pony!
[fanfare]
Hoo'Far: [claps weakly] This show is much better in Ponyville.
[crowd murmuring]
Trixie: Oh. Would you like the last carrot? I know how fond you are of eating the last of things.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, no. It might make me thirsty, and we don't have anything to drink. So...
Trixie: The good news is I'm so exhausted, I could sleep through a stampede of wild boars! Which, you'll be delighted to know, is only slightly louder than your snoring.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, I'm looking forward to rehearsing the act with you all night. So diligent of you to go over it and over it in your sleep.
Trixie: [through gritted teeth] Practice makes perfect.
Starlight Glimmer: Not today, it didn't.
Trixie: Well, I'm sorry you're so miserable!
Starlight Glimmer: Really?! Because if you wanted to make things more comfortable, you could always pare down a bit!
[poof]
Trixie: Well, since you're so concerned about space, you can have it all! I'll sleep under the stars, where at least the wild animals will be QUIETER THAN YOU!
[door opens]
Hoo'Far: I do not mean to interrupt, but it seems there is trouble on the road to friendship.
Starlight Glimmer: [derisive laugh] Ya think?!
[carrot incinerates]
Trixie: [gasps] Where's my wagon?!
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: I traded it to that pony from Saddle Arabia for his. He even threw in a pair of robes.
[dramatic sting]
Trixie: You what?!
Starlight Glimmer: I traded the old, worn-out wagon that was too small for us, for this nice spacious one that we can both enjoy.
Trixie: [stammering] Who said you could do that?!
Starlight Glimmer: Nopony. I just did it. [sighs] Now we both have plenty of room, and you didn't even have to give anything away.
Trixie: Au contraire. I did give something away! I gave away my wagon... and my best friend!
[clatter]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were better friends with that beat-up old wagon than you are with me!
Trixie: Well, it's easy when the wagon is a better friend! It would've never traded you away!
Starlight Glimmer: That's ridiculous.
Trixie: Oh, it is ridiculous. In fact, this whole tour is ridiculous! I don't even know why I invited you in the first place!
Starlight Glimmer: Well, maybe I should just head home!
Trixie: I think that's a very good idea! And you can take this horrible giant caravan with you!
Starlight Glimmer: Fine!
Trixie: Good!
[dragging]
[thud]
Trixie: [grunting] Come on! Whoa!
[door jiggles]
Hoo'Far: Goodness! Oh, Ms. Powerful. Eh, but where is your assistant? I had hoped providing you with a more comfortable means of conveyance would allow you to once more dazzle the crowds with mystifying feats of magic.
Trixie: Normally, that sort of flattery would suffice. But today, we must discuss your dishonest and unfair procurement of my wagon!
Hoo'Far: I desired your wagon and provided one of equal and better value in return. It seems like a perfectly honest and fair trade to me.
Trixie: Unfortunately, it is more nuanced than that!
Hoo'Far: I'm sure it is, but I am eager to set out. If you'll excuse me.
[whoosh]
Hoo'Far: I am willing to wait as long as you are. [sips]
Trixie: Ha! We'll just see about that!
[music]
Hoo'Far: You know, even if I was willing to reverse the trade, you don't have my caravan to offer in return.
Trixie: [grumbles] Details!
[vines snapping]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs, grunts]
[alligator growls]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [struggling] You all seemed... a lot less threatening when there were two of us!
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps, yells] This place is awful! How did I not see it before?!
[hawk cries]
"Rainy Day": Hey! It's one of those traveling ponies!
"Snow Violet": Your song really inspired us! We decided we need to head off on the road to friendship, too!
"Rainy Day": It sure beats the road to deliveries!
"Snow Violet": Yeah! Sometimes traveling together is hard!
"Rainy Day": You reminded us we could also make it fun! Thanks again! Woo-hoo!
"Rainy Day" and "Snow Violet": [laughing]
[door opens]
Hoo'Far: Steaming hot beverage?
Trixie: Thank you. No.
[rumbling]
Starlight Glimmer: What are you two doing?
Trixie: Taking a stand! By lying down! Not that you care, Wagon-Trader-Away-er!
Hoo'Far: I'm afraid I'm still not interested, despite your assistant's convenient appearance.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, I came back to apologize. I should never have traded away the wagon. It wasn't mine to trade. It belongs to my friend.
Hoo'Far: Hmmm. If you truly were friends, I suppose I'd be honor-bound to reverse the trade.
Trixie: Okay! Fine! We're friends! Best friends who share a deep bond who weren't prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling. Happy?!
Hoo'Far: I'm still unconvinced. Perhaps you could prove your friendship.
Trixie: How?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, we could do our friendship chant!
[beat]
Trixie: Oh, right... Our world-famous chant of friendship that we do all the time because we're such great friends.
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [out of sync] Magic, tra-magic... poof of smoke... want to wave your hooves... and tell a... little joke!
[poof]
Hoo'Far: [coughs] That was the worst friendship chant I have ever heard! And you two were clearly making it up as you went. But only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.
Trixie: So you'll give back the wagon?
Hoo'Far: Though I'd suggest heading back to Ponyville. I'm not sure Saddle Arabia is ready for... uh, this.
Starlight Glimmer: That's fair.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry your Saddle Arabian tour was ruined.
Trixie: Honestly, I don't think I could've stood one more second on the road. At a certain point, I don't even like traveling with myself.
[door opens]
[luggage thuds]
Starlight Glimmer: It is a lot harder than I thought. Still, I'm glad we tried. Mostly so we know not to do it again.
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: [laugh]
Trixie: I think it's made our friendship greater and more powerful than ever!
"Cortland": [grumbles] You know, there's actually plenty of room in here for one pony to nap. Is the show over?
[credits]

The Washouts

[bang, bang, bang]
Scootaloo: Order, order, everypony! I hereby call to order this meeting of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club!
[fans murmuring excitedly]
Scootaloo: First order of business – [quickly] Let's-celebrate-the-one-and-only-Rainbow-Dash-yay-she's-amazing-now-if-there's-nothing-else-that-concludes-this-meeting-of-the-Rainbow-Dash-Fan-Club-thank-you-all-for-coming-any-questions?!
[bang]
[confused murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Scootaloo: Meeting adjourned!
[door slams]
[bang, bang]
Scootaloo: I'd like to call to order the first ever meeting of the newest and most exciting club – of which I am the president, founding, and only member – the Washouts Fan Club!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[theme song]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey, Scootaloo. I was just in the neighbor— Oh! What's this? Did I interrupt your fan club meeting?
Scootaloo: Hey! What are you doin' here?
Rainbow Dash: I could ask you the same question!
Scootaloo: Oh, uh, y'know... mmm... s-s-stuff. Uh, definitely not starting a new fan club or anything.
Rainbow Dash: Ha! It's no use pretending! I heard everything when I was outside eavesdropping, like I do for every meeting!
Scootaloo: You eavesdrop on every meeting? That's weird.
Rainbow Dash: Well, sure it sounds weird when you say it out loud. And I probably shouldn't because eavesdropping is wrong, but still. Why are you starting a new fan club?
Scootaloo: I just think maybe it's time for me to explore other fan clubs.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] What is a "The Washouts"?
Scootaloo: Only the newest, and greatest, and only stunt troupe in Equestria!
Rainbow Dash: Stunt troupe?
Scootaloo: How can I explain it? Like the Wonderbolts, just twenty bajillion percent cooler! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: "Twenty bajillion"?!
Scootaloo: They do all sorts of extreme stunts that focus on daredevilry and sheer guts rather than boring old flight and formation junk.
Rainbow Dash: "Boring old flight and formation junk"?!
Scootaloo: Are you just repeating everything I say?
Rainbow Dash: Only because my brain feels like it's strapped to one of those rockets about to explode.
Scootaloo: So you do get it! Aren't they awesome?!
Rainbow Dash: Can you believe she actually said that?!
Pinkie Pie: Pfft, well, yeah! Eavesdropping on every meeting is kinda weird.
Rainbow Dash: I mean, she basically said that the Wonderbolts aren't cool! And... And it kinda sounded like she didn't think I was cool either. But, peh, we all know that's crazy! I mean, I'm definitely not worried about her looking up to somepony else. Heh. Nope. Not! At! All!
Applejack: Well, I'd understand if you were. It'd be like if Apple Bloom started lovin' bananas more than apples. [laughs, sotto voce] Y'all tell me if that ever happens, ya hear?
Rainbow Dash: But what could the Washouts possibly have that I don't?!
Pinkie Pie: Why don't you find out?
Rainbow Dash: They're doing a show in Ponyville this weekend?!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! They do look pretty amazing... uh, -ly unamazing. [nervous laugh] Trying so hard to look amazing is what I mean.
Pinkie Pie: Nice save, Twilight! [squee]
[crowd chattering]
Scootaloo: Awww. I knew we shoulda lined up last night.
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry for making us late. Who would've guessed Xtreme Chocolate Airshow Cupcakes would take an x-tremely long time to bake? [slurps, chomps]
Rainbow Dash: Look at this! It's a total Wonderbolts ripoff!
Scootaloo: What do you mean? The show hasn't even started yet.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but look at what we're sitting on.
[bang, bang]
Rainbow Dash: Hello?! The Wonderbolts have bleachers, too! We practically invented sitting on bleachers!
Rarity: Ugh!
Rainbow Dash: And look at that! Popcorn and cotton candy?! Ripoff!
[feedback]
[music]
Scootaloo: Huh? Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh!
Announcer: This is the time! This is the place! This is the team! This is... the Washouts!
[crowd cheers]
[explosions]
Pinkie Pie: Mmmm! Quality confetti cannon work.
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Scootaloo: Oh, yeah!
Announcer: Say it with me now, the Washouts' official motto...
Announcer and Crowd: Leap before you look!
[crowd cheers]
Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Lame.
Fanpony: Oh!
Announcer: Remember, ponies. While they're amazingly awesome, the Washouts are highly trained professionals in protective fire-proof flight suits! Do NOT try this at home!
[kaboom!]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. Come on, come on! She's not gonna make it!
[clang!]
[crowd gasps]
[crowd cheers]
Rainbow Dash: That... was... insane! Woo-hoo!
Scootaloo: I told you!
Rainbow Dash: I mean... [clears throat] It was pretty cool. Who are these guys?
Scootaloo: I can't just go up and talk to them.
Rainbow Dash: You can if you're with me. After all, one of the reasons there's a Rainbow Dash fan club is because I'm fearless. Observe.
[water splashing]
Rainbow Dash: Hey!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, so as a fellow aerobatic professional, I really enjoyed your show. Heh. Actually, you might recognize me since I'm a... pause for dramatic effect... a Wonderbolt.
Short Fuse and Rolling Thunder: [laugh]
Rolling Thunder: [Australian accent] Ha! Join the club.
Scootaloo: [excited noises]
Rainbow Dash: O... kay...
Rolling Thunder: No. I mean, literally. Join the club. We're called "The Washouts" because we all used to be Wonderbolts just like you. Heh. Until we "washed out".
Rainbow Dash: No way!
Rolling Thunder: Yep. [sighs] Name's Rolling Thunder. I got booted out of Wonderbolt Academy because of "flagrant disregard for hazardous weather". Pfft! If doing barrel rolls through nine hundred million volts of electricity in a raging thunderstorm is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Rolling Thunder: Ha. This 'ere's Short Fuse.
Short Fuse: Ah, nice to meet you.
Rainbow Dash: What's your story?
Short Fuse: ANGER ISSUES! GET OFF MY BACK!
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... Okay. So, who's the leader?
Rolling Thunder: Only the most reckless ex-Wonderbolt of all time.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Lightning Dust!
Lightning Dust: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: [snarls]
Scootaloo: Scootaloo. I'm Scootaloo. Hi.
Rainbow Dash: Lightning Dust! I should've known you were the brains behind a crazy idea like the Washouts! Or should I say, "lack of brains"!
Lightning Dust: [snarls]
Scootaloo: You two really know each other? Oh, my gosh! This is so cool!
Lightning Dust: Your "friend" got me kicked out of the Wonderbolts.
Scootaloo: Oh. That's, uh, less cool.
Lightning Dust: And it was the best thing that ever happened to me! Great to see you, wingpony! I heard you're a full-fledged Bolt now.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, I'm still—
Lightning Dust: Mad at me? Look, was it wrong of me to endanger the lives of your friends? Yeah. But, hey, now I only endanger these knuckleheads.
Rolling Thunder and Short Fuse: [laugh]
Short Fuse: [through gritted teeth] Don't call me "Knucklehead"! [laughs]
Lightning Dust: C'mon, you know you miss me. Me and her, we blew everypony out of the sky.
Scootaloo: Really?
Lightning Dust: Actually, yeah, really! All that wind was totally dangerous, but we had fun, right? Two fastest times on the Dizzitron!
Rainbow Dash: If I remember correctly, I had you beat by half a second.
Lightning Dust: Only because when I went, I cranked up the dizziness factor.
Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm glad it all worked out. Your show was pretty dynamite.
Lightning Dust: [to Scootaloo] Wanna know the secret? We basically ignore everything the Wonderbolts ever taught us about safety.
Rainbow Dash: Well, we do have safety rules for a reason.
Lightning Dust: Don't listen to her, kid. All their "rules" were just ways of keeping their little club exclusive so they could feel good about themselves.
Rainbow Dash: It's not about making anypony feel bad. It's about finding the best flyers. The best of the best.
Lightning Dust: I started the Washouts because I believe anypony can be the best of the best. You know, Rolling Thunder is gonna be out for a while.
Rolling Thunder: Ah, during the finale, I caught the old hind leg in the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot! Patent pending.
Lightning Dust: There's a spot on the team if you wanna join up.
Scootaloo: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: I appreciate the offer, but I'm already a Wonderbolt.
Scootaloo: I'll do it! Can I do it?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, lemme think. No!
Scootaloo: [scoffs] I wasn't asking you!
Lightning Dust: Awww, you're cute. But technically, you haven't washed out of the Bolts, which is kinda our thing.
Rainbow Dash: And also, no!
Scootaloo: Oh, what if I joined and dropped out super quick?!
Rainbow Dash: That's it! You're comin' with me!
Scootaloo: Where are we going?
Rainbow Dash: To hear what the actual Wonderbolts think about you joining just to drop out for the Washouts!
Lightning Dust: Say hi to Spitfire for me!
[Wonderbolts theme]
Scootaloo: [yawns]
Rainbow Dash: Ever seen two simultaneous inverse displacement rolls before?
Scootaloo: [scoffs] Would've been a lot cooler if you had the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot, patent pending.
Rainbow Dash: You... What?! [to Spitfire] See? This is what I was telling you about.
Spitfire: I got this. [to Scootaloo] You know what happens when something goes wrong with the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot?
Rainbow Dash: Patent pending?
Spitfire: You end up in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Scootaloo: But with enough practice—
Spitfire: Practice?! Well, la-dee-doodle-dah! Lemme give you a different scenario. You're probably saying to yourself, "I'm young. I'm strong. I'm gonna go out there and stunt some tricks with my new friend Lightning Dust!" Well, I'm here to tell ya that if ya play that game, you're gonna find out it's pretty hard to "stunt tricks" in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Rainbow Dash: I think she gets the poi—
Spitfire: I'm not finished! Listen, I get it, kid. I used to be like you, tellin' myself, "I'm gonna touch the sky!"
Scootaloo: I don't—
Spitfire: Well, whoop-dee-doodle-doo! You think you got it made in the shade? Well, things are gonna be pretty shady indeed when you can't go out in the sun, 'cause you're in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw! Do I make myself clear?!
Scootaloo: [shakily] Uh-huh...
Spitfire: Excellent. Have a hat.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Heh. Sorry that was a little... intense. I just wanna make sure you don't get hurt. That way, you can follow in my hoofsteps. Heh. Everypony's dream, right?
Scootaloo: More like "follow your wingflaps".
Rainbow Dash: Same difference.
Scootaloo: [sarcastically] Thanks, super-talented flyer, for clearing up what I should do.
Rainbow Dash: Clearing things up is one of my specialties. Now, come on. Let's go rip up all your Washout posters into tiny pieces and throw 'em off a cliff.
Rainbow Dash: I just thought of a great way to raise awareness for your original fan club. You know, the one about me?
[clatter]
Rainbow Dash: How about a silent auction where every item is just a picture of yours truly? [laughs] Nah! I'm just kidding.
[blow dryer blowing]
Rainbow Dash: That makes me seem too egotistical, doesn't it? Oh, oh! Maybe if they're framed, it's like, "Wow, she's so humble!" Ya think? Scootaloo?
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Scootaloo?
Rainbow Dash: Anypony seen Scootalo—
[bump!]
Rainbow Dash: Ow! My fault, my fault! Sorry, I— Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] Sorry. I was just... um...
Rainbow Dash: Please tell me you got that stuff so you could rip it up and throw it off a cliff.
Twilight Sparkle: They were doing an autograph session before practice.
Rainbow Dash: Seriously?! [groans] You haven't seen Scoot, have you?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually...
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe Scootaloo ditched me to watch them practice! Why can't she see how dangerous they are?!
Twilight Sparkle: That's kind of the whole draw. It's exciting.
Rainbow Dash: But it's like the harder I try to convince Scoot they're dangerous, the more she likes them!
Twilight Sparkle: You can't control her actions. Only yours. Teach her what's safe and what isn't, like a good role model. Then hope she makes the right decisions.
Rainbow Dash: But what if she chooses them over me? She's gonna get hurt!
Twilight Sparkle: I think I know somepony else who might get hurt if that happens.
Rainbow Dash: Um, maybe you're right. But this isn't about me. I'm just worried about Scoot.
[clanging]
Short Fuse: Wow. You're really workin' hard on this new stunt. [chomps, spits] What kind of sorry excuse for a tomato sandwich is this?!
Lightning Dust: Sorry, Dash. Autograph session's over. Unless you wanna buy Short Fuse's limited edition half-eaten tomato sandwich.
Short Fuse: I'm not signing that abomination!
Rainbow Dash: You haven't seen Scootaloo, have you?
Lightning Dust: Ohhhh, isn't she that pony that used to respect you?
Rainbow Dash: [growls] I'd appreciate you helping me find her so I could apologize for trying to make her quit liking you.
Lightning Dust: [laughs] Oh, I'm pretty sure she still likes us.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Lightning Dust, I know we go way back, but I can't let her do this!
Scootaloo: I don't need you standing up for me!
Rainbow Dash: Obviously, you do! Because you can't see how dangerous this is! Do you not remember what Spitfire said?
Lightning Dust: Ugh. Lemme guess. [imitating Spitfire] You'll be in a full-body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Rainbow Dash: That doesn't even sound like Spitfire.
Scootaloo: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: That's it! We're leaving!
Scootaloo: Just because I look up to you doesn't mean I have to be you! But based on your definition of what makes somepony great, I have bad news. I'll never be the best of the best or a Wonderbolt! Because I! Can't! Fly! Is that what you wanted to hear? But not being able to fly doesn't mean I can't do something awesome! Like strapping my scooter to a multi-stage liquid-fueled rocket and jumping twenty-two wagons lined up in front of a roaring crowd!
Twilight Sparkle: That was awfully specific.
Lightning Dust: That's 'cause it's what she'll be doing in the show tonight. Half off for princesses! [whispering] Bring your friends!
Twilight Sparkle: Scootaloo, are you sure that's what you really wanna do?
Scootaloo: Absolutely. [to Rainbow] And there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Rainbow Dash: You're right. You're your own foal, and you have to make your own decisions.
Scootaloo: Good! Because I already have!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[crowd chattering]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry for making us late again. Who would've guessed Scootaloo's super-difficult stunt special cupcakes would've been super-difficult to bake? [chomps]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! Looks like all of Ponyville is here. Except for Rainbow Dash.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Announcer: And here to introduce the most dangerous stunt we've ever performed, it's your fearless captain, L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Lightning Dust!
[crowd cheers]
Lightning Dust: In just a moment, the newest member of the Washouts will be rocket-sledding down that hill, up that ramp, and over all twenty-two wagons to land on the other side in one piece! Heh. If she's lucky.
[crowd gasps]
Lightning Dust: Put your hooves together for Half-Pint Dynamite!
[crowd cheers]
Scootaloo: Lightning Dust, I have to tell you. I actually started Equestria's first Washouts fan club! As far as I know. So this is a real honor, ma'am! Uh, do I call you "ma'am"?
Lightning Dust: You land this jump, you can call me whatever you want.
Scootaloo: Wow. That sure is...
Lightning Dust: Dangerous? Nah! Well, maybe a little.
Scootaloo: Has anypony tested it before?
Lightning Dust: Where's the fun in that?
Scootaloo: [gulps]
[tape stretching]
Scootaloo: There's m-more?!
Lightning Dust: You're not thinking of backing out, are you?
Scootaloo: No! I'm just thinking about drinking through straws.
Lightning Dust: Are you the president of my fan club or not?
Scootaloo: Of course! It's just—
Lightning Dust: You wouldn't wanna get impeached for dishonoring my wishes, would you?
Scootaloo: I... Is that a thing?
Lightning Dust: Light it up!
[flames roaring]
Scootaloo: Okay. Now I am thinking about backing out.
Lightning Dust: Too late!
[rockets roaring]
[crowd cheering]
Scootaloo: [whimpering]
[crowd gasps]
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: I know I was supposed to let you make your own decisions, but that doesn't mean I can't swoop in and save you from time to time.
Lightning Dust: If I'd known you were gonna bail, I would've done the trick myself!
Rainbow Dash: Great! So you won't mind how that rope's about to coil around your hoof.
[snap!]
Lightning Dust: RIVALS FOR LIIIIIFE!
Rainbow Dash: Wouldn't have it any other way!
Scootaloo: I'm sorry for joining the Washouts. Lightning Dust wasn't who I thought she was. She didn't care about me being scared or putting me in danger. She only wanted a good show, even if it meant I got hurt. That's not the kind of pony I wanna look up to.
Rainbow Dash: I'm the one who should be apologizing for not acting like somepony who deserves a fan club. I've been lucky enough to have somepony who thinks I'm the coolest. But there's nothing cool about making you feel like you'll never be as awesome as me. I think we should cancel the Washouts Fan Club. Because I know a fan club that could use some new members.
Scootaloo: The Rainbow Dash Fan Club!
[bang, bang, bang]
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] Welcome to the first ever meeting of the newest fan club for the awesomest, previously under-appreciated pony in Ponyville! With founding member and president Rainbow Dash presiding, it's the... Scootaloo Fan Club!
[fans cheering]
Scootaloo: You know, Rainbow Dash was right. Eavesdropping on your own fan club isn't weird at all.
[credits]

A Rockhoof and a Hard Place

[digging sounds]
[clunk!]
Rockhoof: [grunting and laughing] You're going to have to work faster than that if you plan to dig up my whole village, lass. Let me help.
Professor Fossil: [yelps]
[thud!]
Professor Fossil: Er... Thank you, Rockhoof, but we're trying to carefully preserve every bit of history here.
Rockhoof: Aye. This place is full of memories. Did I tell you about the time our chieftain knocked down five boulders with the kick of a wee ball?
Professor Fossil: [gasps] Stop that!
[ball thunks]
Rockhoof: But... [stutters] That's what this is for.
Professor Fossil: Maybe in the past. [blows] Now it belongs in a museum. Safe. Preserved. Untouched.
Rockhoof: Agh! Next you'll be sayin' I shouldn't have used the old sweat lodge.
Professor Fossil: [gasps]
[crash!]
Professor Fossil: So, you see why Rockhoof isn't an ideal fit for my team. Perhaps you could use his, uh... unusual talents?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, Professor Fossil! We'd be honored to have a Pillar of Equestria on our staff!
Professor Fossil: Oh, thank Celestia.
[door closes]
Rockhoof: [slurps, crunch] Ugh! [spits, groans] That apple's made of wood! What a horrible trick to play!
[whack!]
Rarity: Hmm. Has anypony seen my decorative centerpieces? They were right here.
Professor Fossil: Good luck!
[theme song]
[students chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: So, join me in welcoming Professor Rockhoof to our faculty!
[students cheering]
Rockhoof: Thank you! Thank you, all! I know I'm new to your world, but there's one thing I learned when I saved my village from a rushing river of hot lava. There's nothing you can't do with hard work. And a shovel!
[crunch!]
[students gasping]
[creaking]
[crash!]
Smolder: Except maybe stand on stage.
Spike: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: So, um... everycreature dismissed. We'll... see you in class!
[students chattering]
Smolder: You think that new pony is gonna be the weirdest teacher at school or just one of the weirdest?
Yona: Yona like new teacher. He big like yak!
Gallus: And he smashes things like a yak, smells like a yak...
Yona: Yes! He perfect!
Sandbar: Guys, he's one of the Pillars! He's like... pony history!
Rockhoof: Hello, class!
[crash!]
Rockhoof: Eh, um... [clears throat] I'm, uh, your new "Theory and Defense of Friendship" teacher.
[creaking]
Rockhoof: But, uh, I haven't had a chance to look at Headmare Twilight's notes yet. What have you all been learnin'?
Ocellus: We just studied all about how Princess Celestia and Luna used a spell to trap Discord in stone sleep for hundreds of moons.
Rockhoof: Ohhhh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! So it's a class about stories, is it?
Gallus: Stories! Yeah! And we never, ever, ever get homework!
Rockhoof: Good! The best way to teach colts and fillies is by experience. Like the time I was in the woods and I ran across an ursa major!
Silverstream: Really?!
Sandbar: We're not doing that, right?
Yona: You fight ursa major? All alone?
Rockhoof: Aye. And I defeated her, too.
Smolder: Now this I'm interested in!
Yona: How Professor Rockhoof win?
Rockhoof: Well... that's quite a tale.
Twilight Sparkle: From what Professor Fossil said, it sounds like Rockhoof just hasn't settled into modern times yet. Our school is the perfect place for that. Plus, we get a new teacher.
Applejack: [chuckles] This may be the fastest friendship problem you ever solved.
[crash!]
Rockhoof: Dodge! Thrust! Shovel leap! Shovel throw!
[crunch!]
[thud!]
Rockhoof: Shovel whack! Now you lot be the ursa major. Lots o' growlin', mind?
Gallus, Yona, and Silverstream: [growling]
Rockhoof: [laughing]
[thunk!]
[students cheering]
Applejack: Maybe classrooms were less breakable in the old days?
Yona: Ooh-ooh-ooh! What happened next?
Rockhoof: [laughing] The huge beastie jumped out of the moonlit mist, her fearsome fangs at my throat! But I rolled clear.
[crash!]
Silverstream: Then what?
Rockhoof: She backed me up against a wall, ready to pounce!
[students gasping]
Rockhoof: I looked at her. She looked at me. And I say—!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Professor Rockhoof?
Rockhoof: Nope! Guess again! [clears throat] Uh, oops.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry to interrupt. Class, why don't we go ahead and take lunch early today? Rockhoof, can we take a walk outside?
[students chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Our school is about finding your own special way to teach.
Applejack: And we can already tell you're a... smash with the class. [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: But maybe you could do a little less smashing in the classroom?
Rockhoof: Sorry about that. I did get a bit carried away. The students were so interested in my tale. [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: I know it's a big change. But I think you're gonna fit in just—
[flames roaring]
[boom!]
Rockhoof: Fire!
Twilight Sparkle: Rockhoof, wait!
Rockhoof: No time! The building's ablaze! We have to get everypony out!
Yona: Professor Rockhoof best teacher ever! [sighs] Day cannot get better.
[crash!]
Rockhoof: Let's get you outside, wee ones!
Yona: Day just got better!
Rockhoof: [grunts]
Silverstream: [yelps]
Rockhoof: Alley-oop!
Applejack: Rockhoof?
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?!
Rockhoof: Savin' the school!
[shatter!]
[water splashing]
Rockhoof: Just like fightin' a volcano in the good old days!
Rarity: Would somepony kindly explain what is the meaning of all this water?!
Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure. But I think it's surf's up! Woo-hoo! Cowabunga!
Rockhoof: Sorry, Rarity, but I had to put out the ragin' inferno.
Spike: Inferno? Where?
Rockhoof: Did you not see the smoke and flame?
Smolder: Yeah, that was us. You know, dragons? Having a fire-breathing competition?
Rockhoof: You, uh... what?
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] They do it all the time. That's what we were trying to tell you.
Applejack: We know you're used to bein' a hero, Rockhoof. Only what we need here is a teacher.
Rarity: One who doesn't ruin an entire class's friendship quilts. Do you know how hard it is to stitch a pineapple pattern?!
Rockhoof: [sighs] My deepest apologies. I'm not used to living with dragons or much else in this modern time. Professor Fossil made it clear I'm not welcome back in my old village. Seems I don't belong here either.
Pinkie Pie: Wheeeee!
Twilight Sparkle: So apparently, finding Rockhoof a new job is a lot harder than we thought. Has anypony had any luck?
Rest of Mane Six: [negative muttering]
Applejack: I-I thought you were gonna try him out at the post office.
Twilight Sparkle: We did.
Rockhoof: [yelling] Do you know where I can find Cranky Doodle Donkey?! I need to deliver his medicine! He has a rash in a very embarrassing place!
Spike: [shudders] I did not need to hear that.
Rarity: Yup. Rockhoof's time as a spa masseuse didn't work out either.
Rockhoof: Now just let me know if this is too much pressure!
[crunch!]
Bulk Biceps: [high-pitched shriek]
Rainbow Dash: W-Well, at least Rockhoof's really strong. Maybe we could find him a job carrying heavy stuff?
Pinkie Pie: I tried that already. Zecora needed somepony to help her get supplies, but...
[knock, knock]
[door opens]
Rockhoof: I know you said you only needed a few leaves, but I figured why not bring you the whole thing?
[bees buzzing]
Rarity: Oh, how horrid.
Fluttershy: None of the other Pillars seem to be having trouble fitting into the modern world.
Applejack: Then maybe they can show Rockhoof how they did it. Get him used to livin' in this time.
Twilight Sparkle: Great idea! Rockhoof's old friends would be happy to help. And I bet he'd love to visit them.
Rockhoof: [sighs] Even Canterlot looks different from the old days.
Applejack: Aww. I'm sure once you see your old pal Flash Magnus, you'll feel right at home.
Flash Magnus: Trot, two, three, four! Trot, two, three, four! Keep it lively, rookies! Visitors on site! Company, halt! Rockhoof, you old ditch-digger you!
Rockhoof: Flash Magnus, as I live and breathe! Is this your squadron?
Flash Magnus: After we got out of limbo, I went looking for work for a pony with experience in the Royal Legion. Once a soldier, always a soldier.
Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia was happy to find a new drill sergeant for her guard!
Rockhoof: Uh... that's great. She really put you in a job that big so soon?
Flash Magnus: Ho-ho, this is nothing. You should see what Mistmane is up to.
[shimmering sounds]
Rockhoof: They made you the royal landscape artist for the Crystal Empire?
Applejack: Wow...
Twilight Sparkle: Your work is beautiful.
Mistmane: Oh, thank you. I've never worked with crystal before, but in my heart, I know I'm where I belong.
Rockhoof: You always could find the beauty in things. But there's not much demand for shovel ponies like me nowadays.
Mistmane: Don't give up hope. See Somnambula. She'll help you find your purpose.
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] Somnambula's a motivational speaker. Bet they didn't even have those back in your time.
Rockhoof: [whispering] Because we didn't need them. Ponies knew what to do with their lives.
Somnambula: Focus on my voice and feel yourself unlock your potential. [inhaling and exhaling] Imagine everything that troubles you as one big cloud. Now let it float away. You are relaxed. Free to do anything you wish.
Rockhoof: [snoring loudly]
Applejack: Guess he wished he could take a nap?
Rockhoof: Mage Meadowbrook, your home looks just the same as the old days. Wish I could say the same for mine.
Mage Meadowbrook: Well, I've had to expand my clinic a bit. Many creatures need healin' in this modern world. Aww. Looks like you could use some, too. What's got you heartsick, Rockhoof?
[thud!]
[bottles clattering]
Rockhoof: Thing is, I can't do my old job like Flash. Or adapt like Mistmane. Or succeed at something new like Somnambula. Or go home, like you.
Mage Meadowbrook: Give it time. Even Star Swirl's still learnin' about friendship.
Applejack: Yeah! And I bet Stygian took plenty o' time to fit in.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, look what I found! Me and My Shadow, the third hit novel by former villain Stygian! I'm impressed! He's really thriving!
Rockhoof: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: Rockhoof? Where are you going?
Rockhoof: I'm not sure. Maybe I just don't belong in this modern world.
Applejack: Now this here's a right mash of apples. 'Stead of solvin' Rockhoof's problem, we made him feel even worse.
Rainbow Dash: I'll tell you the real problem here. We haven't given Rockhoof the chance to be who he really is.
Pinkie Pie: A pony with a metal shovel and a heart of gold?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. A hero! What we need to do is find him a job that's as epic as he is!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. I might know just the thing.
Rockhoof: I'm honored to serve in the Hippogriff Navy, General Seaspray! I promise I'll prove my worth.
Seaspray: Think nothing of it. I know how hard it is to adapt to a new home. After our many years below the waves, land customs seemed strange.
Rockhoof: Like you didn't fit in, no matter how hard you tried?
Seaspray: As though the world had moved on without us. Never fear, Rockhoof. We shall be as brothers in this bright future above the waves.
Applejack: [whispering, to Twilight Sparkle] Uh, why do the Hippogriffs need ships if they can turn into seaponies?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe they just like cruises?
Hippogriff Sailor: General! The fog's too thick to see our way out of the harbor!
[water rushing]
Seaspray: Heave to, swabbies! Halt the ship and hold her 'til the fog passes!
Rockhoof: Wait, General! We can navigate the same way my Coltic ancestors traveled through the Selkie Mists! We'll look to the stars! There in the northwest sky is the constellation O'Bridle's Pelt! Steer the ship toward that!
Seaspray: You heard the pony, crew! Make full sail!
[water rushing]
Applejack: Yee-haw! Rockhoof did it!
[crash!]
Rockhoof: But... I don't understand! The stars have always steered me true!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. Stars can move slowly over time. They must look different now than over a thousand years ago.
Seaspray: It was an honor serving with you, Rockhoof. But it seems our paths lie in different directions.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, mistakes happen. We'll think of something else for you to do.
Rockhoof: Oh, there's no need, lass. I already know what I want to do next.
Applejack: Really? What?
Rockhoof: I heard there's a statue spell that sends creatures into stone sleep. I want you to cast it. On me.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Spike: [muttering sleepily]
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Rockhoof: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Rockhoof: Aye!
Spike: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Rockhoof: Aye!
[door opens]
Spike: Hey, guys. Need me to help you decide something?
Twilight Sparkle: Rockhoof wants me to cast a spell to turn him into a statue! The answer is no!
Rockhoof: Well, it should be "aye", because I wouldn't even be here to be turned into a statue if Twilight hadn't cast a spell in the first place! [stomps]
Spike: Whoa. I thought you were arguing over ice cream flavors.
Twilight Sparkle: The answer is still no! Why would you want to be turned into stone?
Rockhoof: Because I'm a relic of a bygone age. I belong in a museum. Safe. Preserved. Untouched. I don't belong in this time. It's up to you to make that right.
Twilight Sparkle: But there has to be a better way!
Rockhoof: Twilight, please understand. I want to be remembered as the hero I was, not the disappointment I've become.
Twilight Sparkle: But you're not! Rockhoof, wait! Spike, can you teach my class today?
Spike: Uh, you're not really going to turn him to stone, are you?
Twilight Sparkle: Only because it's temporary. As soon as I think of a new solution, we'll wake Rockhoof up. I know he has more to offer the world as a pony than a statue.
Sandbar: Did you hear Rockhoof caught all the bees in the Everfree Forest and gave 'em to Zecora as a gift?
Silverstream: Wow! Terramar said Rockhoof called down the stars and sunk the whole Hippogriff Navy!
Smolder: He's definitely weird, but in a fun way. You never know what's gonna happen next with him.
Yona: Professor Rockhoof best pony!
Spike: Hey, class. Welcome to the Theory and Defense of Friendship.
Gallus: Another sub? Let me start by telling you we don't get homework and we only do field trips.
Spike: Yeeeeah. Nice try. Twilight sent me to tell you she won't be in today 'cause she has to cast a stone sleep spell on Rockhoof.
[students gasp]
Ocellus: Like Discord?! But why?! Rockhoof isn't a bad guy!
Spike: ["I don't know" sound] Your instructions are to write an essay on heroism and what it means to you.
Yona: No!
Spike: Oh, don't worry. It doesn't have to be a long essay.
Rockhoof: Maybe like this? Or on three legs? Hmm. What will give the wee birds fewer places to, uh... decorate?
Yona: Professor Rockhoof! Dragon said you want to turn into stone! Yona not believe it!
Rockhoof: Aye, I'm afraid it's true, lass.
Yona: But... pony need finish ursa major story for class!
Rockhoof: Oh, it's sweet of you to try to get me to stay, Yona. But I'm afraid old stories like mine aren't worth anything in this day and age.
Yona: Fine! If pony no want tell Yona story, then Yona tell pony story! From class report! [reading] "When Yona come to pony school, Yona not fit in. Pony ways strange. But Yona find friends! Yona meet Professor Rockhoof! Pony brave and strong as yak! Not afraid! Hero! When Yona grow up, Yona want to be just like Professor Rockhoof!"
Rockhoof: Well, uh, since you went to the trouble of writing something that nice, I suppose the least I could do is tell you the rest of the story.
Yona: Yona tell whole school Rockhoof is best! Now all want to hear story!
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I have the spell. But will you please reconsider? Rockhoof?
Rockhoof: The ursa major tried to grab me by the gullet! But I ducked her claws!
[students in awe]
Rockhoof: She had me cornered. So I look at her. She looks at me.
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rockhoof: And I say, "Sorry you won't be having any dinner tonight, lass! Guess you'll just have to... grin and bear it!"
[students laughing]
Rockhoof: And then I tossed her away with my shovel high into the sky! And she's been a constellation up there ever since! Or so I'm told. And that's the end of my story.
Students: One more story! One more story!
Rockhoof: No, no. Thank you for listening. But it's time to say goodbye.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. You said there wasn't anything in this time you were good at. What about telling stories?
Rockhoof: It was just a tall tale.
Twilight Sparkle: One that captured the hearts and imagination of everycreature here.
Yona: Plus, pony story super fun!
[students cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: As the Princess of Friendship, I'd like to appoint you as Equestria's official keeper of tales!
Spike: Can you do that?
Twilight Sparkle: Eh.
Rockhoof: I, uh... That's very kind of you. But I still think these old bones are more suited to a museum display.
Twilight Sparkle: You are a living record of our history. Your stories can inspire and teach generations to come. If you're a statue, that's all lost.
Rockhoof: But will I ever really belong in your world?
Yona: Rockhoof Yona's friend. So Rockhoof belongs!
Rockhoof: You know... That reminds me of another story. Once, there was a small yak that knew more than a great hero.
Smolder: Hey, don't forget the dragons in this one!
Rockhoof: Aye, there were dragons. And ponies. And plenty of Hippogriffs. Plus a changeling and a griffon...
[credits]

What Lies Beneath

Twilight Sparkle: The Tree of Harmony remains one of the most powerful sources of magic known to ponydom. And though it has been at the "root" of magic and friendship from the moment it was planted, its ways are mysterious. Almost as if it has a mind of its own.
Smolder: Mind? [scoffs] It's a tree.
Twilight Sparkle: A tree that grew a castle.
Silverstream: Was that before or after Discord made chocolate rain?
Cozy Glow: [whispers] After.
Gallus: I'm never gonna learn pony history!
[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: You can all show me what you've learned on tomorrow's test – "Friendship's Effect on the Course of Equestrian History".
[students groan]
Twilight Sparkle: Remember! Study groups are both fun and effective!
[students chattering]
Sandbar: So, who wants to study together?
Gallus: With other students? This is Equestria! If you want the real scoop, there's only one place to go. Hello, oh maaaaagical Equestrian tree! Can you tell me everything I need to know about friendship?
[beat]
Sandbar: [groans]
Young Six: [laughing]
[shimmering sounds]
[theme song]
Smolder: The Elements of Harmony grew the Tree?
Sandbar and Ocellus: [groan]
Ocellus: No! The Pillars grew the Tree.
Sandbar: The Tree grew the Elements, and then the box with six locks.
Ocellus: But our professors found six keys and unlocked the box.
Gallus: I'm so gonna fail.
Silverstream: You guys! Check this out!
Gallus: That's a plumbing diagram on how to fix a sink.
Silverstream: [giggles]
Sandbar: What does that have to do with Equestrian history?
Silverstream: Nothing. I just can't believe that's how sinks work! Where's Yona?
Yona: [snoring]
Smolder: [laughs] Apparently, [imitating Yona] yaks no love study groups!
Gallus: Shhhh. [laughs]
Yona: [snoring] Spider! No!
Young Six: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: [giggles]
Sandbar: Hey, Cozy. What are you doing here?
Cozy Glow: I volunteered to help Professor Sparkle organize these books. So, experts on Equestrian history yet?
Gallus: I think I'd be better off studying the plumbing book. This stuff is impossible.
[changeling zap]
Ocellus: Oh, come on, Gallus! With good friends and solid study habits, anything is possible!
Gallus: [laughs]
Smolder: How about you just tell us what's on tomorrow's test, professor?
Rest of Young Six: [excited chatter]
[changeling zap]
Ocellus: Now, hold on a sec. I can't give y'all a sneak peek. That there wouldn't be honest.
Rest of Young Six: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: [clears throat] Golly, it's so inspiring how relaxed you all are about studying friendship, considering your disadvantage.
Yona: What cute pony mean?
Cozy Glow: Just consider where you all came from. If Sandbar hadn't sacrificed so much of his time to get you up to speed, who knows how behind you'd be?
Sandbar: That's... not what—
Cozy Glow: [to Ocellus] I mean, growing up as a love-starved changeling? [to Silverstream] Or hiding underwater from an evil king all those years? Trusting anycreature must be so hard for you. [to Gallus] And griffons never want to be around anycreature, even other griffons. [to Smolder] And dragons are so fierce compared to us. There must be days you can't wait to get away from all us cute ponies. [to Yona, imitating Yona] "Everypony know yaks think yaks are best!" Making friends with any other creature must seem like a step down. It's just so impressive how you keep trying to understand friendship, even though it isn't in your nature. Oh! I'll let you borrow my notes! It's what friends do. I'll be right back!
Silverstream: We... should... get back to studying.
[tapping]
[loud, echoing tapping]
Gallus: Could you stop that clicking?! I'm trying to focus!
Sandbar: Dude!
Gallus: What? We have a test. I don't know every detail about every adventure the professors went on like you do.
Ocellus: That's why we're studying together.
Smolder: Right. To help us "disadvantaged" creatures.
Yona: Yona confused. Why we all upset?
[clang!]
[shimmering sounds]
Silverstream: I only glanced at that plumbing book, but I'm pretty sure this isn't supposed to be here.
Ocellus: What are you doing?
Smolder: Dragon. Strange magical cave. What do you think I'm doing?
Ocellus: [grunts]
Sandbar: [startled whinny]
[shimmering sounds]
Silverstream: Did we know this was down here?
Sandbar: I don't think anypony knows this is down here.
[hoofsteps echoing]
Illusion Twilight Sparkle: [stilted] Welcome.
Sandbar: Headmare Twilight? Where are we?
Illusion Twilight Sparkle: [stilted] Where you need to be.
Yona: Uh, Yona confused.
Illusion Twilight Sparkle: [stilted] It is as I feared. You are not one. What has happened?
Ocellus: We were studying friendship's effect on history, but then...
Gallus: Since friendship just isn't in our nature, what's the point?
Illusion Twilight Sparkle: [stilted] You do not believe friendship is in your nature? That is NOT acceptable!
[wind whistling]
Silverstream: Our headmare is glowing, you guys. What is going on?!
Ocellus: We should probably get back to studying for the test.
[wind stops]
Illusion Twilight Sparkle: A test. Yes. By sunrise, this door will be closed. Finish the test before then, and you may go. Fail the test, and here you will stay.
[teleportation zaps]
Sandbar: Huh?
Gallus: Huh?
Smolder: Huh?
Yona: [shudders]
[water rushing]
Silverstream: Ooh!
[splash]
Silverstream: Mount Aris? Headmare Twilight sent me home? Wait. Am I suspended? Hello? Anygriff here? Hmm. They must be topside.
[distant growling]
Silverstream: Huh? [gasps, screams]
[magic zap]
[splash]
Silverstream: [screams]
[growling sounds]
Silverstream: The Storm King?! He's back?!
Gallus: Big room. No exits. Big deal.
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: Not cool! [hyperventilates]
Yona: Nothing for yaks to be afraid of. Just empty cave. Nothing in here can hurt—
[skittering]
Yona: ...Yona.
[spiders chittering]
Smolder: Ugh. Things like this just don't happen in the Dragon Lands. Huh?
Stepford Pony 1: ...And I told her she was the cutest pony of all ponies!
Stepford Pony 2: [to Smolder] Ohhh! Aren't you just the most adorable thing? Come join us.
[beat]
Smolder: No. On so many levels. No.
[screech!]
Smolder: Huh?
Stepford Pony 1: Come sit by me, and let's compliment each other!
Smolder: [groans]
Ocellus: [gasps] Why do you look like that?
Changeling 1: What do you mean? We all look the same.
Ocellus: Not me.
Changeling 2: Of course not you... your Majesty. We'll go drain the love from those pathetic ponies in Ponyville just as you ordered.
Ocellus: [whimpers, gasps] Nooooo!
Illusion Rarity: Oh! Thank heavens we found you!
Illusion Rainbow Dash: There's an emergency! And we need you, Sandbar!
Sandbar: [gasps] My first friendship adventure! Yes! Count me in! Oh, I've been waiting for this— Wait! The others!
Illusion Rainbow Dash: We don't need them! We need you! Come on!
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: Aah! Come on, Gallus. Get it together. Deep breaths. [inhaling and exhaling] Ah... Ahh... Achoo!
[shing!]
Gallus: [panicked whimpering] Okay. If this is a test, there's got to be a way out. It's just a puzzle... that will squash you if you don't figure it out.
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: [laughs] No pressure. [exhales]
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
[shing!]
Gallus: Oops.
[cracking sounds]
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: [panting]
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: Hah! [grunting]
[shing!]
[cracking sounds]
[thud]
Smolder: [groans] Look. I have to get out of here and find my friends. So just tell me what I have to do to pass this test. I'm not afraid of anything.
Stepford Pony 2: Um, I dunno. Seems like she's afraid to be cute and adorable, doesn't it?
Stepford Pony 1: Or maybe she's just afraid to admit she likes being cute and adorable.
Stepford Pony 2: Mm-hmm!
Smolder: Just this once. [clears throat, cute voice] May I have some tea, please?
Stepford Pony 1: Aw, but you can't have tea if you aren't dressed for it.
Smolder: Okay. But let's keep this between us.
Smolder: [slurps, giggles]
Yona: [panting]
[spiders chittering]
Yona: Huh? [panicked grunting, screams]
[thud!]
Yona: [screams, panting, screams, whimpers] Yona need help! Where Yona's friends when Yona need them?! [screams]
[spider chitters]
Yona: Huh?
[spider chitters]
Yona: Yona... no mean to scream. Yona love making friends. Spiders friends?
[spider chitters]
Yona: Wait. What little spider say?
[cracking sounds]
Smolder: What happened to you?
Gallus: What happened to you?
Smolder: You never saw any of that. Got it?
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: Maybe the others got out already and we're the last ones?
Smolder: [sarcastic] Yeah, that totally seems like something they would do.
Gallus: [groans] Any other dragon or griffon would save themselves and get out of this crazy cave.
Smolder: Guess we aren't just any dragon or griffon anymore.
Gallus: Guess not. You go that way. I'll check over there.
Sandbar: Wait. I really should find my friends.
Illusion Rarity: Darling, it was so generous of you to take the time to teach those other creatures about friendship.
Illusion Rainbow Dash: But if you're going to join us and do something that really makes a difference, we need to know where your loyalty lies.
Illusion Rarity: You do want to impress us, don't you, Sandbar?
Ocellus: [crying]
Smolder: Huh? Ocellus?
Ocellus: Go away.
Smolder: We're still in those weird caves beneath the school. We've gotta get out of here. [gasps] Chrysalis! Where's Ocellus?!
Ocellus: It's me! I'm hideous! [crying]
Gallus: Hello?!
[bubbling]
Gallus: Where are—? Whoa!
[splash!]
Silverstream: Shhhh! The Storm King will hear you!
Gallus: The Storm King? He was defeated. We're still under the school. This is all just some crazy test.
[growling sounds]
Gallus: Okay, that's horrifying.
Silverstream: I can't find any Hippogriffs or seaponies. They must all be captured! Gallus! Get back down here!
[growling continues]
Gallus: It's not real.
Silverstream: Yes, it is! He's back, and I'm never gonna see another sunset or fly through a cloud bank or study plumbing! He's gonna take away everything I love! I'm gonna be trapped down here forever!
Gallus: I'm afraid of being trapped, too! I'm scared of small spaces.
Silverstream: Really?
Gallus: Yeah. And I was stuck in a room that kept shrinking. But I realized I had to face my fear, and I found the way out. This is your test. He isn't really here.
[growling sounds]
Silverstream: But what if he is?
Gallus: Then tell him exactly what you think of him.
[magic zap]
Silverstream: Uh, hey! Storm King! You're nothing but a big, old bully with a silly name and a goofy crown! You thought you could scare us into doing whatever you wanted! But we learned that together, we're stronger than you! And now that we're rid of you, we're gonna soar through the sky and go on adventures and never give you another thought ever! [stomps]
[rocks toppling]
Silverstream: Ha-ha! I did it! I told him!
Gallus: Okay. Heh. Hug time later. W-We still have to get back to the library.
Smolder: You're a changeling. Just change back.
Ocellus: I can't.
[changeling zap]
Ocellus: Maybe my past was so horrible, it's still inside me just waiting to come out again.
Smolder: That's ridiculous. That's not who you are anymore. You've changed.
Ocellus: Maybe we can't really change that much.
Smolder: [muffled] I like cute, silly stuff.
Ocellus: I'm sorry, what?
Smolder: I like cute, silly stuff! But ever since school started, I've realized that sometimes I kinda don't mind cute stuff.
Ocellus: [laughs]
Smolder: If a dragon like me can admit she likes tea parties, that's proof we can change. I was gonna invite you to a top-secret tea party with me, but if you want to stay down here...
Ocellus: Oh! No! I want to come!
[changeling zap]
Smolder: I thought that might work. Come on, let's go!
Silverstream: Where's Yona and Sandbar?
Gallus: The way out is closing!
Smolder: We aren't leaving without them!
[spiders chittering]
Yona: Yona find you guys!
Rest of Young Six: [screams]
Silverstream: Hey, Yona. Who's your... spider army?
Yona: Yona always scared of spiders. But then Yona meet Spindle.
Spindle: [chitters]
Yona: Yona realize no reason to be afraid. Spiders and yak friends! So Yona ask new friends to help finding old friends!
Gallus: Do you think your new friends can help us find Sandbar?
Spindle: [chitters]
Smolder: Of all the strange things that have happened tonight, that's the strangest, right?
Sandbar: Okay, enough! I'm not going anywhere without my friends!
Illusion Rainbow Dash: So you don't care about anypony but your friends? Are you really that selfish?
Illusion Rarity: Honestly, you really are such a disappointment.
Sandbar: I've always looked up to you. You would never turn your back on each other, and that's what makes you strong. Now I have a group of friends that I think is every bit as amazing as yours. If I have to give up on them to make you proud, then you aren't the ponies I thought you were. I don't care if I disappoint you. You disappoint me.
[shimmer!]
Silverstream: Did you just tell our professors you were disappointed in them?
Sandbar: Something tells me those weren't actually our professors. Besides, they tried to get between me and my friends.
Smolder: That's all very sweet. Now, can we please get out of here?!
[cracking sounds]
Sandbar: [grunting] You! You're not Headmare Twilight, are you?
Ocellus: [gasps] You're the Tree of Harmony!
Silverstream: The Tree of Harmony turned into a sparkly version of our headmare to talk to us? Did I miss a chapter in class?
Tree of Harmony: Like all living things, I change as I grow. As I have grown, so have my abilities.
Gallus: I'm a bit rusty on pony history. But since when does the Tree of Harmony trap creatures in a cave with their biggest fears?!
Tree of Harmony: You chose what you saw in my roots, not me.
Sandbar: [gasps] Our friendship got us past our fears!
Tree of Harmony: You were more concerned with each other's well-being than your own. You were strong when your friends were weak. You let each other in and showed that you would be there for each other, no matter what. Friendship is in your nature.
[shimmer!]
[cracking sounds]
Gallus: W-We just learned a friendship lesson from a tree, didn't we?
Cozy Glow: You're all right! I came back with my notes and saw this and didn't know what to think!
Silverstream: We're better than all right! We just got tested by the Tree of Harmony! And we totally passed!
Cozy Glow: The Tree of Harmony? Here?
Silverstream: Yeah! Well, below here. Under the school! We found this and went down and met the Tree, and Gallus was all, [imitating Gallus] "Friendship is not in our nature." And the Tree was like, "Whaaaaat?!" And it tested us!
Smolder: Long story short, friendship is in our nature. The Tree said so.
Ocellus: I guess we should tell somepony there's a giant magical hole in the library.
[clang!]
Ocellus: Or not.
Sandbar: We have to tell our professors about this! They won't believe that—!
Cozy Glow: You can't!
Yona: Why no?
Cozy Glow: Because... it's my fault. You were all getting along so well, and I felt left out. I was jealous. And it upset you so much, the Tree of Harmony had to test you. [gasps] Oh! I'm gonna get expelled for sure! [crying] Please don't tell anypony about this! Especially the professors! Please, please, please—!
Smolder: Okay! [yawns] I'm actually too tired to do anything right now.
Sandbar: Yeah, but we can't go to sleep. We'll miss the test.
Gallus: [yawns] The test! I almost forgot!
Ocellus: [yawns] We're all gonna fail.
Silverstream and Yona: [snoring]
Cozy Glow: What if I tell Professor Sparkle I needed help organizing these books, and you were all kind enough to pitch in? I'll get you an extension!
Sandbar: [yawns] Thanks, Cozy. That's nice of you.
Cozy Glow: I'm just so sorry I caused all of this. You're such good friends. I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
Silverstream: [sleepily] Mmm... No problem... Friendship is... [snoring]
Cozy Glow: You get some rest. Don't give any of this another thought. Just let Cozy take care of everything.
[ominous music]
[credits]

Sounds of Silence

Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you two are going on a friendship quest! This is amazing!
Applejack: What do you mean, Twilight? We've been on one together before.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! This is the first time the map has teamed up the same ponies for a second quest!
Fluttershy: That is special.
Applejack: Heh. Must be 'cause we're extra good at solvin' friendship problems.
Twilight Sparkle: I hope so, 'cause it looks like this one might be a little tricky. You're going to the Peaks of Peril.
Fluttershy: The Peaks of... P-P-Peril?!
Applejack: Aw, it's just a name. It doesn't mean anythin'.
Fluttershy: Like how Cloudsdale is in the clouds and the Crystal Empire's made of crystal?
Applejack: Fair point. So, what can ya tell us about the place, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Only what Rockhoof told me. Back in his day, nopony knew much about the Peaks of Peril except for the legend on this ancient shield. It says a group called the Kirin used to live there, known for their kindness and truth-speaking.
Applejack: Now we know why the Map called us.
Twilight Sparkle: Unfortunately, other creatures also lived there. The Nirik, fearsome beasts of pure fire.
Fluttershy: [shudders] Maybe you should go instead of me, Twilight. [laughs nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Fluttershy. Flanks don't lie.
[shimmering]
Applejack: Aw, I'm sure the two of us'll get that friendship problem solved, no matter what kind o' creature has it.
Fluttershy: [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
[train chugging]
[brakes hiss]
[train chugging]
[wind whistling]
Applejack: Guess nopony else is goin' out as far as we are.
Fluttershy: Maybe they know something we don't?
Applejack: Now, Fluttershy, I've told you a dozen times. There's nothin' to be sca—
"Loose Tracks": [screams]
Applejack and Fluttershy: [scream]
"Loose Tracks": I'm sorry.
Fluttershy: [screams] You really startled us.
"Loose Tracks": Oh, it's just that I'm not used to seeing anypony taking the train to... [ominously] the end of the line. The final destination. The last stop!
Applejack: We get the picture. Why?
"Loose Tracks": Nothing but uncharted terrain and wild beasts out that way. [maniacal laughter]
Applejack: Well, maybe there's a little somethin' to be scared of.
Applejack: Yah!
[squishing]
[Fly-ders buzzing]
Applejack: [groans]
[rocks crumbling]
[rustling]
Applejack: [panting] Those must be the Peaks of Peril. Whew. Tough goin', huh, Fluttershy—? Fluttershy? [groans]
Applejack: Yah! [grunts]
[squishing]
[Fly-ders buzzing]
Applejack: [groans]
Applejack: [pants]
[splash!]
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: There. That should be enough flowers to keep your tree cozy.
Applejack: Fluttershy! What are you doin'?! This is no time for visitin' varmints! We're on a friendship quest, remember?!
Fluttershy: Yes, but actua—
Applejack: Come on! We're burnin' daylight!
Fluttershy: I know, but what I found out is that—
Applejack: Now, we gotta get up that peak! I figure if we use some rope and elbow grease, we can make it up half—
Fluttershy: Applejack! Can you please listen to me?! [clears throat] What I'm trying to say is the squirrels told me a shortcut they take to the Kirin village.
[grinding]
[rustling]
Applejack: Oh. [chuckles] Sorry, Fluttershy. I suppose I got a little too caught up in the adventure.
Fluttershy: That's all right. If you hadn't come back to get me, I probably would've talked to the squirrels all day. Heh.
Applejack and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[rustling]
Fluttershy: I hope that's not a Nirik! [gasps]
Applejack: Show yourself!
Fluttershy: [shudders]
Applejack: Well, hi. I'm Applejack, and this here's Fluttershy.
[beat]
Fluttershy: If you have any friendship problems, we're here to help.
[beat]
Applejack: Huh. [to Fluttershy] Quiet bunch, ain't they? [clears throat] We're from Equestria, and we're plumb tickled to meet y'all.
[beat]
Applejack: S-So, uh... what are your names?
[beat]
Applejack: [stressing] Ap-ple-jack! Flut-ter-shy! Remember?
Fluttershy: [whispering, to Applejack] Maybe they don't understand us.
Applejack: [stressing] Do. You. Un-der-stand. Ponish?
[beat]
Fluttershy: Oh! But you don't speak?
[beat]
Applejack: Don't or won't?
Fluttershy: Will you excuse us for a moment? [to Applejack] You have to ask yes-or-no questions, or they won't answer.
Applejack: Like talkin' to Angel Bunny?
Fluttershy: Not exactly. I can always tell what Angel is feeling. But these Kirin don't show anything.
Applejack: Well, how are we gonna solve a friendship problem if none of 'em will tell us what it is?
Applejack: These Kirin are quieter than an apple blossom on snowfall. Still, there's gotta be some way to make 'em speak. [chuckles] Beautiful day, ain't it?
[beat]
Applejack: [whinny] Knock, knock! Now you say, "Who's there?"
[beat]
Applejack: Police. "Police who?" Police [please] say somethin'!
[beat]
Applejack: Uh-oh! I feel a sneeze comin' on! Aaaa-CHOOOOO!
[beat]
Fluttershy: Gesundheit.
Applejack: [groans] Don't any o' y'all talk?!
[beat]
Applejack: Now we're gettin' somewhere.
Fluttershy: A dark spooky path that leads into unknown territory?
Applejack: Tell you what, sugarcube. You stay and see if you can get anythin' outta these here Kirin. I'll go and try to find one that talks.
Fluttershy: Phew! Be careful. And watch out for Niriks!
[rustling]
Applejack: [yelps] Phew! [yelps] Oh. Have you seen a Kirin that talks?
[beat]
Applejack: Any idea where I should look?
[beat]
Applejack: Oh, for the love of Celestia! Can't ya just say somethin'?!
Autumn Blaze: [giggles] Gotcha! Sorry, sorry, but that was too good. Oh, you don't know how much I missed jokes. Hi-larity! Am I pronouncing that right? Some words I haven't said in a will. While! While. Hi, I'm Autumn Blaze. You've just arrived, and perhaps you're tired or hungry or reflective and want to sleep and eat and journal? Which you should do, of course! But first— Oh! Oh, what joy to talk with another creature! It's been so long! You must tell me everything about you! There's so much to say, so much to do! Oh, look at me. I'm going on, and you haven't seen— I mean, have you seen—? W-What am I saying? Of course you haven't. So just— I— yeah— I will j— Follow me!
[beat]
Applejack: That... was somethin', all right.
[wind whistling]
Applejack: Oh, wow. [gasps] This... is amazin'.
Autumn Blaze: Oh, you think so, too?! The way the light shimmers off everything, like, like it all suddenly woke up the moment you saw it. And you realize maybe the water and the mountains and the forest and the... yes, the rainbow and the stars and the sky are all looking back at you thinking the same thing? That we are a part of the everything. That maybe there's just one thing and we are all it.
[beat]
Applejack: I was gonna say it's pretty. But yeah.
Autumn Blaze: [hums, sniffs] Mmmm! And this is just the first stop on a journey of amazing things to see, smell, tiptoe through. Oh, I haven't been able to share all of this with anypony in forever! Since they all took that vow of silence. So it's a lot for me to pro-cess. Process? Uh, deal with.
Applejack: Whoa there. Vow of silence?
Autumn Blaze: That's, uh... That's why they asked me to leave.
Applejack: I hope it's not a sore subject, but... you mind explainin' why y'all went quiet in the first place?
Autumn Blaze: It's a long story.
Applejack: [sighs] You'd rather not talk about it?
Autumn Blaze: No.
Applejack: I-I under—
Autumn Blaze: [begins singing] I'd rather... siiiiiiiiiiiing!
[Autumn Blaze]
La, la-la-la, la-la
La-la-la, la-la-la
The Kirin used to speak and sing
We weren't always quiet
We told stories and funny jokes
My stand-up was a riot
But then one day, a fight broke out
And hurtful words were said
Flaring tempers were inflamed
Destruction quickly spread
And flaming bred from head to head
It even burnt our... bread
Sorry, I forgot how much I love rhyming. Where was I? Oh, right!
My happy village lay in ruins
Relationships got worse
Spoiler alert: we quickly learned
That words could be a curse
"No more talking," yelled our leader
The last thing said aloud
Into the Stream of Silence
We stepped as a crowd
The water cooled emotions
And peace was soon restored
But with no way to speak my thoughts
I got super... bored
Seriously, there's only so long that Sudoku can keep you entertained!
'Cause rainbows won't light up the sky
Unless you let it rain
And shiny apples sometimes come with worms
No, you can't give up your laughter
'Cause you're scared of a little pain
It's a lesson that the Kirin never learned
I was stuck in silent prison
With the voices in my head
'Til I tripped over my salvation
In a helpful flowerbed
I found a cure to clear my pipes
And I became quite chatty
With years and years of stored-up words
I drove my village batty
They didn't like my jokes and songs
And daily dose of news
The plays I wrote, the speeches spoke
Variety revues
Or the story about the Kirin who hid below an opera stage
And fell in love with this opera singer, and he wore a freaky half-mask thing, and he played the organ a lot and got all broody 'cause the singer was in love with another dude, so he took her away on this underground gondola. I mean, who doesn't love musical theater?!
The village leader made it clear
I had to make my choice
I could stay and live with them
Or I could keep my voice
So I came here, but left the couch alone
They're hard to move
With just the view for company
Until ya heard me groove
Take it away, boys!
[beat]
'Cause rainbows won't light up the sky
Unless you let it rain
And candles just won't glow until they're burned
No, you can't give up your laughter
'Cause you're scared of a little pain
It's a lesson that my village never learned
No matter how hard I schooled them
Fear of hurt is still what ruled them
Sometimes you gotta let it raaaaaaaain!
Yeah, sometimes you've gotta let it rain
Applejack: [gasps] I can't believe it! Nopony should give up feelin'... their feelin's just to keep from gettin' angry!
Autumn Blaze: That's what I said! You know, after I started talking again.
Applejack: [gasps] I bet this here's the problem that Fluttershy and I came to help y'all with!
Autumn Blaze: Really? Who's Fluttershy? Oh! Did you name your shadow? Mine's called "Silhouette Gloom of the Sundown Lands".
Applejack: Right... Well, I'm thinkin' if we just go talk to the other Kirin, we can get 'em to welcome you back proper-like. Maybe even convince 'em to take your cure.
Autumn Blaze: Oh, yes! Yes, of course! Oh, just one small thing. The antidote from my anecdote? It's gone.
Applejack: There's no cure left?!
Autumn Blaze: I used the last of the foal's-breath flowers to make it. And I-I haven't seen them bloom since.
Applejack: [sighs] Well, this wouldn't be a friendship quest if it was easy. I'm gonna start by gettin' your friends to welcome you back!
Autumn Blaze: You know, between you and me, I'm not sure she's gonna convince them. [deep voice] Nope! [normal voice] But... [whispering] I hope she does.
Applejack: [panting] Fluttershy! Guess what!
Applejack and Fluttershy: I figured out the friendship problem! Me, too! Go ahead! [laugh]
Applejack: Bet that's a problem the Kirin never have.
Fluttershy: [giggles] No.
Applejack: Anyhow, we gotta get 'em all talkin' again.
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no-no-no! We can't ever let that happen!
Applejack: I thought you said you figured out the friendship problem. Was somethin' lost in translation?
Fluttershy: The Kirin are usually peaceful and kind. But when they get mad, they turn into Niriks, creatures made of fire and vengeance!
Applejack: Heh. That seemed less scary when it was in a song.
Fluttershy: The last time they all argued, they got so angry, they accidentally destroyed their whole village. So the Kirin decided to make sure it would never happen again.
Applejack: But that's no reason to stop talkin'.
Fluttershy: Yes, it is! Fire is dangerous, especially in a forest like this. Why, think of all the animals it could hurt.
Applejack: Not if they don't turn into fire-breathin' Nirik in the first place.
Fluttershy: And how can you be sure that won't happen?
Applejack: There's gotta be a better way than givin' up all your feelin's!
Fluttershy: Applejack! You're not listening!
Applejack: 'Cause you're not talkin' any sense!
Fluttershy: Um, what are they doing?
Applejack and Fluttershy: [yelp]
Fluttershy: [grunts] Maybe they got worried because we were arguing with each other.
Applejack: Aw, shucks! We were just havin' a normal, civil disagreement! Honest!
Fluttershy: W-Where are they taking us?! [grunting]
Applejack: To the Stream of Silence! If we hit that water, we'll never be able to talk or feel anythin' ever again!
Applejack and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Autumn Blaze: [distorted] Put them down!
[flames roaring]
Fluttershy: [whimpering]
Applejack: It's all right. I think I know this one. And she's tryin' to help.
Autumn Blaze: Well, yeah! Can't have them silence the only friend who'll speak to me.
Fluttershy: She talks?
Applejack: You have no idea. Fluttershy, meet Autumn Blaze.
Fluttershy: Well, thank you for that... um, wall of fire. But I thought Niriks were dangerous when they're angry. How did you know you could control your temper?
Autumn Blaze: I didn't. Huh. I guess anger's like other feelings. It's not about having them. It's what you do with them.
Applejack: And givin' up happiness to keep away anger is no kind o' life.
Fluttershy: I never thought of it that way. I can't imagine not being able to talk to my animal friends.
Autumn Blaze: Fern Flare, you used to love to laugh at everything. And Rain Shine, you sung the most beautiful harmonies. Don't you miss it?
Applejack: I know you're worried about fightin'. But friends can disagree without causin' a ruckus.
Fluttershy: Everypony gets mad sometimes. Even Applejack and I argue.
Applejack: What?! When do we ever argue?
Fluttershy: [clears throat] On the way here? And about the Kirin being silent? And right now!
Applejack and Fluttershy: [growl, laugh]
Applejack: We don't always see eye-to-eye. But we never let that get in the way of our friendship.
Fluttershy: And if you're really angry, then take some time away to be a Nirik where it won't hurt anypony.
Applejack: I-I think they're tryin' to say somethin'.
Autumn Blaze: Okay, are you hungry? Oh, no. Is some Kirin trapped in a well? Okay, "baby". "Baby fish". "Ba"— "Ba"— No. "Baby fish mouth"? Uh, something? Anything?! [groans] Just write it down! [groans] This is making me furious. Would you excuse me? I'll be right back. [distorted scream] You were saying?
[beat]
Autumn Blaze: Ohhhh! You want the cure for the Stream of Silence!
Fluttershy: That's wonderful! Uh, isn't it?
Applejack: Well, it would be. Except there aren't any flowers left to make the cure.
Fluttershy: Are you sure?
Autumn Blaze: Oh, beyond sure. Believe me, I've had a lot of alone time lately. I searched the entire forest seventy-three and a half times. Although I wonder if that second half could make a difference.
Fluttershy: Hmm. I wish she'd told us what kind of flowers she's looking for.
Applejack: They're called foal's-breath.
Fluttershy: I've never heard of that.
[squirrel chittering]
Applejack: Uh, Fluttershy? A little help?
[squirrel chittering]
Fluttershy: [gasps] He says he knows where to find more foal's-breath!
Applejack: Well, what are we waitin' for? Lead the way!
Fluttershy: [gasps] That's what foal's-breath looks like?!
Applejack: Autumn Blaze never would've made it past the Peaks to search here. I owe you an apology.
Fluttershy: Why?
Applejack: 'Cause if your kindness hadn't made you stop to help the squirrels, we never would've found this here flower.
Fluttershy: And if your honesty hadn't convinced the Kirin to talk, we wouldn't need to find it.
Applejack: [chuckles] Guess it's a good thing the map sent both of us, huh?
Autumn Blaze: [gasps] You found them?! Where were they?! Tell me everything, and feel free to add complicated descriptions and comedic tangents!
[beat]
Autumn Blaze: Oh. Right. First things first.
[shimmering]
[Kirin laughing, cheering, singing]
Rain Shine: Autumn Blaze, you have given us a gift. The realization that anger is within us, but it is our choice how we let it out. We would very much like it if you came back to live with us. I can't say how much we've missed your beautiful voice.
[Autumn Blaze]
'Cause rainbows won't light up the sky
Unless you let it rain
And candles just won't glow until they're burned
No, you can't give up your laughter
'Cause you're scared of a little pain
It's a lesson that my village never learned
Oh, yes, 'cause rainbows won't light up the sky
Unless you let it...
Raaaaaaaain!
[shimmering]
[credits]

Father Knows Beast

Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Spike: Whoa! Ta-da!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike. Now let's try a flip. Remember – two flaps, then straight up!
Spike: Got it!
[flapping]
Spike: [grunts]
[splash]
Spike: [inhales]
[flapping]
[bump]
[thud]
[crash]
[fwip]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: You're doing great, Spike. Now let's see the big finish!
Spike: [sighs]
[sloop!]
Spike: Whoa-oa-oa-oa!
[crash]
Spike: [grunts] I don't know about "big", but I am definitely finished.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should get Rainbow Dash. She's the one who taught me advanced flying techniques.
Spike: No, thanks. If I'm gonna mess up, I'd rather do it in front of you. I just don't understand why none of your advice is helping.
Smolder: Because she's teaching you to fly like a pony instead of a dragon.
Spike: What's the difference?
Smolder: Well, we don't have feathers, for starters.
Spike: Ye-he-he-hes!
[hoof-bump]
Spike: Wow! Thank you so much! How did you know I just needed to bend my wings?
Smolder: Honestly, this is Dragon 101. Usually dragon parents teach this stuff.
[knock, knock]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I've been thinking about our flying lesson.
Spike: Uh-huh...
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I overlooked something as simple as feathers. It's no wonder you were having trouble. I wish I had more "dragonish" knowledge to give you. Do you think being raised by ponies has affected you in other ways? Spike?
Spike: Did you say something, Twilight? Sorry. I'm just finishing up this "thank-you" throw pillow for Smolder. And you know how I get when I'm in the embroidery zone.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles]
[theme song]
Spike: It's a pillow! But not for your head. Although it could be. It's a throw pillow. They're more casual. You can use 'em anywhere. You don't like it.
Smolder: Uh, it's not that. It's just dragons don't really use pillows. At all.
Spike: What?
Smolder: Hey, what's that?
Spike: I don't know. But it's... heading right for us!
[crash!]
Spike: Okay. Now I really owe you for the lesson.
Sludge: [groans, chuckles] Hey there, young dragons. [coughs] Name's Sludge. How are yours tails shakin'? [groans]
Spike: You all right?
Smolder: Yeah. What happened?
Sludge: To what?
[thud]
Sludge: Oh. I don't need to explain myself to a couple of baby dragons. [groaning and whimpering]
[thud]
Sludge: Ow...
Spike: Maybe not. But you're hurt and need help. So I'm taking you to Twilight's castle whether you like it or not?
Sludge: Castle, eh? [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad Spike brought you here, Sludge. I understand you made quite the impression in town.
Pinkie Pie: Literally! There's a hole and everything!
Sludge: Well, I hope you're not expecting me to fix it. [groans]
Applejack: It doesn't look like you're in much shape to do anything.
Sludge: I'll manage. Dragons take care of themselves. I don't need help from a bunch of castle-livin' ponies. [whimpers]
Rarity: Darling, do be careful.
Sludge: I'm... [groans] ...fine.
[thud]
Fluttershy: I can't watch!
Rainbow Dash: You're not the first stubborn dragon we've met, you know?
Spike: And sometimes, even dragons need help.
Twilight Sparkle: I promise. My friends and I will only do enough to get you back on your claws.
[montage music]
[sewing machine whirring]
[cider press whirring]
Sludge: [sighs]
[crash!]
[doors creak]
Sludge: [sniffs]
[clang!]
[thud]
Sludge: [chewing noisily]
Mane Six and Spike: [cheer]
Sludge: [chomp]
Twilight Sparkle: I know you had your reservations, but it's good to see you feeling better.
Sludge: T-Thanks, I guess.
Rarity: That's what friends are for, darling.
Sludge: You're pretty lucky to have friends like these, kid.
Spike: Actually, I was orphaned as an egg, and Twilight raised me. So these ponies are more than my friends. They're my family.
Twilight Sparkle: We try our best, but sometimes I worry that maybe Spike is...
Spike: Missing something deep down and dragonish.
Sludge: Really? Wow. I-I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that.
Applejack: Why in Equestria would you be glad to hear that?
Sludge: I wasn't gonna say anything since your life seemed so perfect, but I have a confession to make. Coming to Ponyville wasn't an accident. I was looking for you. Spike... [sighs] I'm your father.
Mane Six: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: [continues gasping] Sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: So you crashed in Ponyville on purpose?
Sludge: Well, the crash part wasn't on purpose, but heading here was. I've been searching everywhere for you, kid.
Spike: Did you ask in the Crystal Empire? I'm kind of well-known there.
Pinkie Pie: Actually, Spike's well-known everywhere. Not a lot of dragons were hatched by the Princess of Friendship.
Applejack: Mm-hmm.
Sludge: [choked up] You make it sound so simple. I wish you'd been there to help me search.
[doors open]
Spike: I can't believe it. I have so many questions.
Sludge: Well, ask away. Answering questions is what dads are for.
Spike: I guess my biggest question is simple. Why was I an orphaned egg?
Sludge: [stammers] You sure you don't want to ask something else? [choked up] It's a lot of painful memories. [sighs] Your mother was the best dragon I'd ever met.
Sludge: [voiceover] The Dragon Lord even picked her to scout for the Great Migration, and-and even though she just laid your egg, we knew she'd have to go. But finding the Migration route could take a lifetime, and you deserved a chance to know your mother. So I went looking for you, carrying your egg to places no dragon or pony has ever been. Past Mount Aris, the abandoned home of the Hippogriffs...
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Did you visit Klugetown?
Sludge: You've been to Klugetown?
Mane Six: [various affirming]
Twilight Sparkle: Also, the Hippogriffs returned to Mount Aris after we helped them defeat the Storm King.
Sludge: Oh, well, have you heard of the Land of the... Scale Collectors?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-uh.
Sludge: [to Spike] Because that's where your mother's trail finally led.
Sludge: [voiceover] To a prison world of dragon hunters, where I was forced to choose between surrendering myself or surrendering your egg.
[clang!]
Sludge: [voiceover, choked up] Of course, there was no way I was gonna sacrifice my boy. So they took me instead, and that's where I'd been ever since.
Sludge: Locked up somewhere not even the Princess of Friendship has heard of.
Spike: Whoa... How did you know I was a boy?
Fluttershy: Whatever happened to Spike's mom?
Rainbow Dash: And how did the egg make it all the way back to Equestria by itself?
Pinkie Pie: Hmm?
Sludge: I wish I had all the answers. [crying]
Spike: Well, that's all in the past. The only thing that matters now is that we're together. And I'm gonna make up for lost time.
Spike: I hope you don't mind, but I have a list of all the things I always wanted to do with my dad?
Sludge: Mind? Spike, my boy, with you by my side, I feel like we could do anything. What do you want to do first?
Spike: Well, I've kind of been working on a list for a long time.
[scroll unrolls]
Sludge: Dude, you want to do all of this?
Spike: Oh. I mean, w-we don't have to.
Sludge: If you think doing everything on this incredibly long list is gonna fill the hole where your dragonishness should be, then that is exactly what we're gonna do!
Spike: [gasps]
[montage music]
Granny Smith: [blows whistle]
Sludge: [chomp, belches fire]
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Spike: Oh, yeah!
[wind whistling]
[paper tearing]
[paper tearing]
[oven timer rings]
Sludge: [chewing noisily]
Sludge: [gulps]
Spike: I can't believe we got so many things done. But this is all my stuff. Is there anything you always wanted to do with me?
Sludge: Not really.
[beat]
Sludge: Uhhh, I mean, uh, I'm happy to do whatever you want. But if I had a castle like this with all this stuff, I'd probably just lay around all day doing nothing like a real dragon.
Spike: Like a real dragon?
Sludge: Sure! I'm not surprised you don't know any better. Twilight basically raised you as a pony. You're barely a dragon at all.
Spike: Huh?
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike! How are things going with Sludge?
Spike: Honestly, I thought having him around would make me feel more dragonish. But I kind of feel less.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm sorry. I wish I could help.
Sludge: Awww, shucks. [chewing noisily] I guess I shouldn't have said anything about you being more pony than dragon. I just wish we had more in common.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you two can come up with ways to turn up Spike's, uh, dragonishness.
Spike: You think that's something we can do?
Sludge: You know what, son? I think it is!
Sludge: Spike, I'm gonna teach you a thing or two about being a dragon. So, listen up, my boy, because I'm only gonna say this once.
Look at this castle where you live
Spike: It's pretty sweet, right?
[Sludge]
You can't be a dragon here
Spike: Uh, I can't?
[Sludge]
Look at these books up on the wall
Spike: Hey, I just finished organizing those!
[Sludge]
This treasure pile's not right, I fear
Trust me, I got you covered here. You see all this soft pony stuff you're surrounded with? This has got to be the first thing to go.
Nothin' 'bout this place says "dragon den", there's too much fluff
All these fancy robes, toss in a pile
Take those goblets, dishes, is that gold? Still not enough!
De-ponifying might just take a while
Sure, this place is grandiose
But to a dragon, it's just gross
Time we make the lot all disappear
Reality you need a dose
To all these ponies, you're too close
You just can't be a dragon here
Good job, my boy! But this is still just the beginning!
Each and every dragon has a swagger all his own
Watch and I'll show you what I mean
You can't move like this with so much stuff to weigh you down
A dragon always keeps it lean
Lose this! This! Ooh, this is nice!
Your life is soft, your scales are coiffed
These pillows, beds, and sheets are washed
A delight, but it's just not right what's underneath
Every dragon must be free
Look at you, then look at me
Since when do dragons brush their teeth?
Ha! Please!
Sure, this place is grandiose
But to a dragon, it's just gross
Time we make the lot all disappear
Spike: What do I do?
[Sludge]
Just grab it all and give to me
After that, then you'll be free
You just can't be a dragon heeeeere!
Spike: Ha! You're right! I feel better already!
Sludge: See? What did I tell you? You're very lucky that I found you. Now, go get me some more.
Spike: You got it! I'm gonna go get you all the cushy pony stuff I've got... Dad.
Sludge: Great! Go get 'em... son!
'Cause this dragon just can't wait to live here
[sinister laughter]
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike? I just thought I'd check to see if you and Sludge had any luck turning up your dragonishness. It's hard not to feel like somehow I let you down all these years.
Sludge: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to barge in on ya!
Sludge: [grunts, sighs] Ah, don't worry about it. Mi castle es su castle.
Twilight Sparkle: Right. Well, I'll just get out of your way.
[door closes]
[squeak!]
[splattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Spike! I'm so sorry. My morning is not going well. What is all this? Why'd you leave the castle so early?
Spike: I didn't leave. I spent the night outdoors to get in touch with my dragon side.
Twilight Sparkle: Outdoors?
Spike: Yeah! And Sludge asked me to bring him the best breakfast Ponyville has to offer so he can show me how a real dragon would eat it. See you later!
[door closes]
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: ...And that's why I thought we could use the map to—
Spike: Hey, gang! Dad was just showing me how a real dragon would act in a throne room.
Sludge: Dragons like to sprawl when they get their claws done. [blows] Now, if you'll all excuse me, it's time for my bath.
Spike: [sighs] Isn't he the best?
Rarity: I'm not sure that's exactly the word I would use.
Sludge: Uh, Spike? The bath isn't gonna fill itself, son.
Spike: Be right there... Dad.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're not spending the night outside again.
Spike: Oh, I am. I'm just looking for a good bedtime story to read to my dad first.
Twilight Sparkle: It's nice that you have somepony to show you dragon culture. But are you sure that's what Sludge is doing?
Spike: What do you mean?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, taking over your room, making a mess of things...
Spike: [scoffs] That is dragon culture.
Twilight Sparkle: You never acted like that.
Spike: That's because you raised me. Now I finally have a chance to see how I'm supposed to be.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think you're supposed to be any different than who you are.
Spike: Maybe you just don't like that I have a real parent now.
[cracking]
Twilight Sparkle: That's not true! I'm glad Sludge is here. I-I just wish he wasn't such a—
Spike: Dragon? Of all ponies, I can't believe you would have a problem with that.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[splashing]
[bushes rustling]
Smolder: What happened to you?
Spike: Just sleeping outside like we're meant to. It's not like dragons are supposed to live in castles.
Smolder: I... guess not. But I live in the school. Nothing says we have to live outside.
Spike: [sighs] I'm so confused. It's been great having Sludge show me how to be a real dragon, but Twilight just doesn't get it.
Smolder: What do you mean?
Spike: She can't handle how good at being a dragon Sludge is. Maybe someday, I'll be able to lay around doing nothing as well as he does.
Smolder: What?
Spike: Well, not now, of course. I'm too busy bringing him pony stuff so he can show me what a dragon would do with it.
Smolder: So, Sludge just lays around while you wait on him claw and tail? Uh, dragons are rude and rebellious, but they aren't lazy lumps who take advantage of their kids.
Spike: Huh. Now I'm really confused.
Smolder: Me, too. Why don't you tell me everything Sludge said about being a dragon?
[door opens]
Sludge: [chewing noisily] Hey! What's going on, son?
Spike: Twilight doesn't like having real dragons in the castle, so I told her we're moving out.
Sludge: [coughs] You what?!
Smolder: Spike! I found the perfect cave where you two can live! There aren't even any comfortable rocks inside!
Spike: That does sound perfect!
Sludge: No, it doesn't! I-I-I mean, uh, I'm not sure I fully demonstrated all the ways a dragon would live here.
Spike: But we're not gonna live here anymore, so it doesn't matter.
Sludge: It matters to me! [stammers] I want to make sure you have all the knowledge you need.
Spike: But I do. Dad, you've already shared so much.
[singing] This bed is much too soft
Just take that silk robe off
We can't be dragons living here
Sludge and Spike: [straining]
Sludge: Stop! I'm not your father!
Spike: What?
Sludge: I just said that to get in on this sweet castle life.
Spike: So... you... pretended to be my dad?
Sludge: Now-now-now-now-now, don't look at me like that, kid. I did what any dragon would do.
Smolder: No. You didn't.
Sludge: Hey. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. That's what dragons do.
Smolder: No. It isn't.
Sludge: You know what? I don't need this. I'm out of here! Enjoy lovin' pony town!
Spike: [sighs]
Sludge: I'm taking this pillow.
Spike: I can't believe I thought somepony like that could show me how to be anything.
Smolder: Uh... it must be hard growing up not really knowing who you are.
Spike: That's the thing. I know exactly who I am. And how I got that way.
[door opens]
Spike: Um, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Hi. Where's your father?
Spike: He's gone. Turns out he wasn't what a real dragon should be after all. He also wasn't my real dad.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. I'm so sorry.
Spike: I'm the one who's sorry. You were just worried about me, and I lost my temper. Sludge was just a great big phony.
Twilight Sparkle: I have to say, I'm not surprised. There's no way a dragon like that was related to you. But if you still want to search for your real family, I'd understand if you spent more time in the Dragon Lands.
Spike: I don't think so. I already know who my real family is.
Twilight Sparkle: Aww! It's me, right?
Spike: Mm-hmm! Besides, there's no way I'm living without pillows.
[credits]

School Raze - Part 1

[thud]
Derpy: [groans]
Cozy Glow: Thank you for the mail delivery. Have a wonderful day!
Cozy Glow: You're new here, right? I'm Cozy Glow, Professor Sparkle's friendship assistant. Welcome to our school! Your first class is just down that hall.
Cozy Glow: A seven-letter word for "teamwork". Have you tried "synergy"?
Silverstream: That's it! Thanks, Cozy!
Cozy Glow: What are friends for?
[door opens, closes]
Cozy Glow: Good morning, Professor Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: The mail's here already? What time is it?! I'm late for my class's field trip to Cloudsdale! [panting]
Cozy Glow: Don't worry. I asked Professor Rainbow Dash to cover for you.
Twilight Sparkle: And she said yes?
Cozy Glow: Uh-huh. I told her how busy you are and how much her loyalty meant to you. I also color-coded your teaching schedule by friendship element and catalogued all the magical artifacts in the school. I hope that's okay.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay? Cozy, that's amazing! You're like my right-hoof pony! I don't know what I'd do without you.
Cozy Glow: [giggles] It's like you taught me. Helping is what friendship's all about.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. And hopefully my class is learning that on their field trip right now.
Cozy Glow: I heard they might do some sightseeing first.
[thunder and lightning]
Rainbow Dash: Ta-da! The Pegasus Weather Factory! Every drop of rain or flake of snow from Cloudsdale comes from there.
[sounds of awe]
Rainbow Dash: I know, right? Hey! The cool stuff's over here!
Ocellus: Wow! I've never stood on a cloud before!
Starlight Glimmer: You can't normally. But for our trip, I cast a spell that lets us walk like Pegasi.
[wind whistling]
Gallus: Hey, Yona! Come check out this view! Unless you're too scared.
Yona: [teeth chattering] Yona not scared! [screams] Now Yona scared!
[students gasp]
[theme song]
Yona: [screams]
[magic fizzles]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
[ponies and creatures gasping]
Rainbow Dash: Come on! We gotta catch 'em!
[ponies screaming]
Yona: [screams]
Gallus: Gotcha!
Ocellus: It's okay, Yona! You like flying, remember?
Yona: Flying, not falling!
[thud]
Yona: [kissing sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: I don't understand. It-It's like my spell stopped working. That's... never happened before.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: We have an emergency!
Rainbow Dash: The students dropped out of the sky!
Twilight Sparkle: Slow down. What happened?
Starlight Glimmer: I cast a spell for our field trip to Cloudsdale, but my magic just failed.
Rainbow Dash: We barely caught everypony in time!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're all okay, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Starlight. Maybe you did your spell wrong. Let's take a look.
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't drop that book.
Starlight Glimmer: [sarcastically] Maybe you did your spell wrong?
[thud]
Rarity: Ow!
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Rarity ran into the door.
Rarity: [sobbing] My magic is go-o-o-one! I even had to use my hooves to coif my tail!
Rainbow Dash: Still think there's nothing to worry about?
Twilight Sparkle: This doesn't make any sense. Magic can't just disappear. Something has to be causing this.
Cozy Glow: Um, didn't we learn in class about a creature that eats magic? Ter, Tee... Tir-something?
Fluttershy: [gasps] Tirek!
Rainbow Dash: Isn't he trapped in Tartarus?
[door opens]
Spike: [gagging]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what's wrong?
Spike: [gagging, belches, sighs] Thanks. I've never had a letter get stuck before. It's from Princess Celestia! We've all been called to an emergency meeting in Canterlot! Look!
[magic fizzles]
Twilight Sparkle: Pretty sure I know what it's about.
Princess Celestia: Throughout our city, ponies have been reporting tales of their magic failing. Spells going wrong. Potions not working.
Princess Luna: Even raising the moon has become difficult. Are there similar troubles in Ponyville?
Twilight Sparkle: We experienced it first-hoof.
Princess Cadance: It's the same in my kingdom. The Crystal Heart seems safe for now, but I worry if this continues.
[door opens]
"Special Delivery": [panting] Letter for the princess from Star Swirl the Bearded!
Princess Celestia: Ah! It is even more terrible than we feared! Magic is disappearing all across Equestria!
[ponies gasp]
Princess Celestia: Star Swirl believes the power will drain from our land in three days. First, unicorn magic and spells will fail.
Starlight Glimmer: That's what's happening now.
Princess Celestia: On the second day, creatures will lose their magic abilities.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, no!
Princess Celestia: And finally, magical artifacts will stop working. When the sun sets on the third day, the magic in our world will be gone forever!
[ponies gasp]
Princess Cadance: But why is this happening now?
Princess Luna: That's the worst part. We have no idea.
Twilight Sparkle: Has anypony checked on Tirek?
Pinkie Pie: You mean the big, red, scary centaur who eats magic? Why would we wa— Ohhhh. Riiiiight.
Princess Celestia: If he has found some way to escape his prison or work from within it, he could be responsible for this.
Princess Luna: That is the best explanation so far. Somepony should investigate.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll go.
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no. Not without us, you wo— Wait. Did you say "we"?
Twilight Sparkle: I've finally learned that it's okay to count on your friends for help. Um, you do want to come, right?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, duh!
Princess Celestia: Thank you, all. We will search for ways to protect Equestria in your absence.
Princess Luna: Be careful. Tartarus has changed since you were there. It now holds many dangerous creatures, and you won't be able to rely on your magic.
Applejack: With her friends by her side, she won't have to.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. I left you my lesson plan, all my student files, and my annotated syllabus notes. If anything goes wrong, get Celestia.
Starlight Glimmer: Got it!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should just close the school and send my students home.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Would you go save Equestria already?
Spike: Okay. Cozy packed us all up for a trip to bad guy central.
Cozy Glow: Don't forget the sandwiches. I marked whose is whose, just in case. [whispering, to Spike] Starlight can't stand mustard.
Starlight Glimmer: That's so sweet of you, Cozy. But Twilight has asked me to stay here to run the school.
Cozy Glow: Oh. I thought that after what happened last time—
Spike: Once she's survived Discord, anything else is a piece of cake.
Cozy Glow: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Plus, she'll have you to help her.
Cozy Glow: Oh, golly, yes! I promise I'll be the best assistant ever! Come on. We can start working on your substitute headmare plans right now, if you like.
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. Uh, okay.
Twilight Sparkle: See? Nothing to worry about. Tell me there's nothing to worry about.
[doors open]
[students chattering]
Cozy Glow: Good morning, friendship students! I know we're all sad Professor Sparkle is away. But don't worry, because she left me in charge to do things just the way she would.
Gallus: Uh, I thought Starlight Glimmer was gonna be temporary headmare.
Cozy Glow: She was, but she left me this note. [reading] "I have to go. Twilight needs my help. I know the school is in good hooves with you, Cozy." [giggles] Isn't that sweet? We won't let Starlight down, will we?
[students agreeing]
Smolder: It's just kind of weird, isn't it?
Cozy Glow: I don't know what you mean.
Smolder: Like, why'd she change her mind? Why did Starlight write a note instead of saying goodbye to us herself? Doesn't make any sense.
[students murmuring]
Cozy Glow: [giggles] Oh, Smolder, you forget. We're not scheming dragons. We're ponies. Sounds like somecreature needs to do a little extra friendship homework.
[students laughing]
Smolder: [growls]
Yona: Yak not pony either! If Smolder get homework, Yona get homework.
Ocellus: Me, too!
Sandbar: I'm in!
Silverstream: Yeah! [laughs] Homework party!
[beat]
Gallus: [groans] Fine.
Cozy Glow: What loyalty. Professor Rainbow Dash would be so proud. You are such good friends. You all are. And I'm grateful because it will be awfully hard running a whole school alone. Can I count on each of you to help me?
[students cheering]
Cozy Glow: Thank you so much! It's just like our professors taught us. Together, we can get through anything!
[Fly-ders buzzing]
Rarity: [blows]
[smack!]
Rarity: Ow! Ugh! I have had it with these horrible flies! [whines] I miss my magic!
Twilight Sparkle: Have you tried using your tail to shoo them away?
Rarity: [gasps] Bite your tongue! It's for decorative purposes only!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! I didn't know we packed green cupcakes.
Fluttershy: Um, we didn't. They must've gone bad without magic to keep them cold.
Rainbow Dash: "Magic" this, "magic" that. We don't need magic to go on a little hike.
[thunder]
[rain falling]
Rarity: You were saying?
Applejack: You just need to think more like Earth ponies, y'all. Granny's "Apple Core No-Bite-No-More"! That'll keep the flies off.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] Ugh! It smells just like it looks!
Fluttershy: Even if our food's spoiled, these blueberries are still good to eat.
Spike: Too bad we can't do anything about the rainstorm.
Rainbow Dash: I can't stop that storm by myself, but I can still help!
[thunder]
Twilight Sparkle: I think we have all the magic we need right here. Not that I don't want to get it back. Heh. Let's go!
[students chattering]
"Citrine Spark": Cozy Glow baked our class cupcakes today!
"Berry Bliss": And she made all of us friendship bracelets!
"Patty Peppermint": She's the nicest pony I've ever met. I'm so glad she's headmare!
Sandbar: Uh, temporary headmare? Right, guys?
"Citrine Spark": Oh, oh, of course. But if Twilight takes her time coming back, I won't mind.
[students laughing]
[door opens]
Silverstream: Finally! We thought you forgot about study club.
Sandbar: Sorry I'm late. Cozy Glow gave our class tickets to a Sapphire Shores concert in Ponyville tonight.
Gallus: You get the feeling Cozy's trying too hard to make us like her?
Ocellus: Or maybe she just wants to help us keep our minds off of how scary it is that magic's disappearing.
Smolder: I don't trust her. What's she up to behind those big eyes and bouncy curls?
[clattering]
Yona: And why Cozy pony coming out catacombs so late at night?
Gallus: Let's go ask her.
Twilight Sparkle: This is the only door to Tartarus. The good news is the seal isn't broken, so we know Tirek didn't escape.
Applejack: Let me guess. You got bad news, too?
Twilight Sparkle: Last time I was here, I had to use magic to get in. And according to Star Swirl, all unicorn magic was gone by yesterday's sunset.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe he was wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[magic fizzles]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, Twilight. I got this.
[knock, knock]
Pinkie Pie: Free pizza delivery!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Huh. Always worked before. Oh, well.
Applejack: Did any of y'all pack somethin' that could actually help?
Rarity: These all do magic, but not the kind we're looking for, I'm afraid.
Spike: How about this?
Twilight Sparkle: The Key of Unfettered Entrance! Where did you find this, Spike?
Spike: In your bag. Cozy Glow must've packed it for you.
Twilight Sparkle: She really did think of everything.
Fluttershy: Um, what does it do?
Twilight Sparkle: It can magically open any door. And since artifacts like this haven't lost their power yet...
[whirring]
[gears clicking]
[cranking sounds]
[shatter!]
Twilight Sparkle: I guess it only works once.
[door slams]
[cockatrice hisses]
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
Applejack: Cockatrice!
Rarity: Do something, Fluttershy!
Rainbow Dash: Don't look at it! It'll turn you to stone!
[cockatrice hisses]
Pinkie Pie: I don't feel like stone.
[boing, boing]
Pinkie Pie: Unless it's really bouncy stone.
Fluttershy: I think he lost his magic, too. All the creatures here must have.
[low growling]
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl said that would happen on the second day.
Spike: I know it should make me feel safer, but it just makes me sad. We gotta fix this!
[door opens]
[chair creaks]
Chancellor Neighsay: Where is Princess Twilight?!
Cozy Glow: Oh, golly. She's away on a quest. I'm watching the school for her.
Chancellor Neighsay: Magic is failing across our land, and she left a foal in charge of this facility?
Cozy Glow: Yes, sir! Is there anything I can do for you?
Chancellor Neighsay: That won't be necessary. Twilight's folly stops here. As of now, I am headstallion. And I have quite a few changes to make.
Pinkie Pie: If all these monsters lost their magic, then getting past Cerberus should be easy-peasy!
[loud thudding]
Rainbow Dash: Look out!
Mane Six and Spike: [scream]
Fluttershy: I'll talk to him.
Cerberus: [growls]
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, puppy?
Cerberus: [snorts]
Fluttershy: You're a very good guard dog. Yes, you are. But, um, we were wondering if we could get by to check on Tirek.
Cerberus: [slurping]
Applejack: That looks like a yes.
[splash!]
Rarity: I'll get you a towel, darling.
Fluttershy: [giggling]
Lord Tirek: The Princess of Friendship here for a visit. What have I done to earn the honor of your company?
Twilight Sparkle: We want answers, Tirek. Magic is disappearing from Equestria.
Lord Tirek: I know. What a waste of such... [slurping] ...mmmm, delicious power.
Rainbow Dash: So you are behind this!
Lord Tirek: Silly filly, if I had all of that magic, you think I'd still be locked up in here? But I might know something about it...
Cozy Glow: What are you doing?! Those are Twilight's student files!
Chancellor Neighsay: These aren't. Not anymore. With Equestria under attack, ponies must stand together. Twilight has endangered us all by skipping off on friendship trips while these dangerous creatures run loose.
Cozy Glow: You don't think they're the reason magic is disappearing, do you?
Chancellor Neighsay: Yes, and I came to warn Twilight. But since she is gone, it falls to me to protect you foals from these monsters.
Young Six: [murmuring]
Chancellor Neighsay: Did you hear something?
Cozy Glow: It sounded like it came from over there!
[door creaks]
Young Six: [grunt]
Chancellor Neighsay: You again. As I suspected.
[magic surging]
Young Six: [scream]
Chancellor Neighsay: From now on, this school is pony-only! As nature intended.
[door opens]
[thud]
Chancellor Neighsay: Since you refuse to explain your plot against Equestria and return the magic you stole, you will stay here while I summon your guardians to take you home.
Sandbar: Wait! You were right about them from the beginning, Chancellor. I see that now.
Smolder: What are you saying?!
Silverstream: Sandbar?!
Sandbar: I don't want anything to do with creatures that could threaten Equestria!
Chancellor Neighsay: Wisely put, colt.
[magic surging]
Chancellor Neighsay: Everypony will come to their senses eventually.
[door closes]
[thud]
[thud]
[multiple thuds]
Apple Bloom: [yawns]
[clatter!]
Apple Bloom: What in tarnation?!
Sandbar: Sorry. I ran out of apples. I need the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My friends are in trouble. Chancellor Neighsay locked them up.
Apple Bloom: Huh? I thought Cozy Glow was in charge.
Sandbar: Not anymore. But you guys are good buddies. If you can convince her to distract Neighsay, I can break out my friends. Will you help me?
Apple Bloom: Do mulberries have seeds?
[beat]
Apple Bloom: That's a yes.
Twilight Sparkle: Where is Equestria's magic going, Tirek? What's making it disappear?
Lord Tirek: If you let me out, I'm sure it will jog my memory. What do you say? I scratch your back, you scratch mine?
Rainbow Dash: How about you tell us what you know or you'll be stuck here forever, because we're out of magic keys and nopony can open the door?
Rarity: Oh, dear. I hadn't thought of that.
Spike: We're just as trapped as Tirek?
Lord Tirek: [chuckles] What a pity. Well, for you. Sweet revenge for me. It seems my little protégé's plan worked after all.
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
Applejack: Which little protégé?
Lord Tirek: Oh, we've never met. We're pen pals. Each letter had so many questions about draining magic.
Pinkie Pie: And you answered them?!
Lord Tirek: I was bored. So I simply pointed my pen pal in the right direction.
[thud]
Fluttershy: Can't you just tell us your pen pal's name? I mean, since we're stuck here anyway?
Lord Tirek: Oh, why not? The irony is too perfect. Her name is...
Sandbar: Cozy Glow! I-I could've sworn I saw her come down this way when she left her office.
[clang!]
Sandbar and Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Cozy Glow: Enjoying yourself in there, Starlight? I'm sorry I had to push you in. But what else could I do? You were going to ruin all my plans.
Sandbar and Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Cozy Glow: You might get some company soon, if I can't make that annoying Neighsay back off! [inhales, exhales] All this magic needs time to drain from Equestria before my vortex sucks it to another realm. [giggles] Three days can sure seem like forever, huh? You know, you ponies got it all wrong. Friendship isn't magic. Friendship is power! With Twilight and her lackeys out of my way, all of Equestria will bow to me! The future Empress of Friendship! [maniacal laughter]
[to be continued]
[credits]

School Raze - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Princess Celestia: Magic is disappearing all across Equestria!
Cozy Glow: Didn't we learn about a creature that eats magic?
Princess Luna: Somepony should investigate.
Twilight Sparkle: We'll go.
Gallus: I thought Starlight Glimmer was gonna be temporary headmare.
Chancellor Neighsay: With Equestria under attack, ponies must stand together.
Sandbar: I need the Cutie Mark Crusaders. My friends are in trouble.
Lord Tirek: It seems my little protégé's plan worked after all.
Cozy Glow: The future Empress of Friendship! [maniacal laughter]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: Cozy Glow is behind all of this?!
Lord Tirek: [laughs] I'm not usually a fan of ponies, but draining your precious world of magic so she could trap the six of you was inspiring! [laughs, coughs]
Spike: Um, there's seven of us.
Twilight Sparkle: I knew we shouldn't have left!
Applejack: But Starlight's in charge at the school. If anypony can stop Cozy Glow, it's her.
Lord Tirek: Cozy Glow outsmarted the six of you! I doubt this Starlight stands a chance! [coughs]
Twilight Sparkle: We have to get out of here. Her students can't handle Cozy on their own.
Rainbow Dash: Then I guess we'll just have to bust our way out! [yells]
[clang!]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] That didn't work. [groans]
Rarity: Not everything can be solved with brute force. We need magic to escape.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe there's a way to get out without magic. Like a secret lever or a secret button or a secret admirer who knows a secret about you but is all, "Your secret's safe with me because I put it in Tartarus and I have a key!"
Twilight Sparkle: I'm afraid not. The most powerful villains and monsters of all time are trapped here. And without our magic, so are we.
Cerberus: [whimpers, slurps]
Twilight Sparkle: Unless... These creatures might be losing their magical powers, but there's still a magic that makes up what they are. Maybe we can borrow some of that.
[cockatrice hisses]
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Cozy Glow: Uh, excuse me? Um, Chancellor Neighsay?
Chancellor Neighsay: You might as well get used to calling me Headstallion Neighsay. I plan to be here for quite some time.
Cozy Glow: Gee, it sure is a relief to have somepony in charge, what with the magical crisis going on. And we're all so grateful to you for taking care of those... non-ponies. But doesn't the EEA need you?
Chancellor Neighsay: What the EEA needs is somepony to protect this school from the threats at Equestria's borders instead of gallivanting off on adventures beyond them.
Cozy Glow: Twilight didn't just run off willy-nilly. She left me in charge. I'm her right-hoof mare!
Chancellor Neighsay: Another in a long list of mistakes the Princess of Friendship has made. Rest assured, from now on, this school shall be run according to strict EEA guidelines.
[door opens]
Chancellor Neighsay: The way it always should've been.
Cozy Glow: Well, that sounds just peachy—
[door closes]
Cozy Glow: ...Headstallion Neighsay.
Sweetie Belle: Cozy Glow did all of this? How? Why?
Apple Bloom: I don't know. But come on, y'all. We gotta get Starlight out of there before she comes back.
Sandbar: Wait!
[shimmering]
Sweetie Belle: [screams]
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle!
Sweetie Belle: Help!
Apple Bloom: That's gotta be what's suckin' up all the magic in Equestria.
Sandbar: But if that's true, then Twilight and the others went to Tartarus for nothing. And if all of Equestria's magic's getting sucked up in there, there's no way for them to get back!
Scootaloo: We need to get help!
Sweetie Belle: But Starlight's trapped here, and there's no way to get word to Celestia or anypony else!
Apple Bloom: I guess we're on our own.
Gallus: [grunting]
[door rattling]
[thud]
Smolder: Still locked, huh?
Gallus: We gotta at least try to get out.
Ocellus: Why? If Sandbar's turned his back on us, every other pony probably has, too.
Yona: Sandbar not turn his back! Sandbar is our friend!
Smolder: Uh, did you miss the part where he said he didn't want anything to do with us?
Silverstream: Maybe he just said that so one of us could be free to snoop around and figure out what's going on.
[lock unlatches]
Sandbar: I dunno. That sounds too clever for a pony to come up with.
Yona: [gasps, laughs] Yona knew Sandbar was still our friend!
Sweetie Belle: We all are.
Scootaloo: Except for Cozy Glow. That pony is not who we thought she was.
Apple Bloom: She's the one draining magic out of Equestria!
Young Six sans Sandbar: What?!
Sandbar: We'll explain on the way. But right now, we gotta get to get to Chancellor Neighsay.
Gallus: Huh?
Sandbar: I know he doesn't like non-ponies. But if we tell him what's going on, he'll help.
Chancellor Neighsay: I am sure you are all concerned about the magic situation. But I want to assure you that this institution is safe, despite the absence of your headmare. As your new headstallion, let me be the first to say that the reign of Princess Twilight is over! From now on, this school will adhere to EEA doctrine, as it should have from the start!
[students murmuring]
Cozy Glow: [claps] Thank you, Chancellor Neighsay, for that rousing speech. I know you're a stallion who truly believes what you say. And when you say this school will be run according to EEA doctrine, I know you mean it. And when you say there won't be any more lessons from the Princess of Friendship at the School of Friendship, I guess you mean that, too.
[students murmuring]
Chancellor Neighsay: That's not exactly what—
Cozy Glow: But Twilight decided to run her school outside of the EEA guidelines. And even though you tried to stop her, Princesses Celestia and Luna trusted her enough to support her.
[students murmuring]
Chancellor Neighsay: Well, I-I wouldn't say that—
Cozy Glow: So, since I know you mean what you say, my question is really for the students. Are we going to give the pony who already tried to wreck Twilight's school once another chance to do it?
[students dissenting]
Cozy Glow: I guess things will have to stay the way Twilight wants them. Which includes leaving me in charge.
[students shouting]
Chancellor Neighsay: This—! I can—! Just—!
[door opens]
Sandbar: Okay. So maybe we need a new plan.
[chains rattling]
Cozy Glow: Oh, oh, not too tight. We don't want to hurt the Chancellor.
[padlock clanking]
Cozy Glow: I'm sure Twilight will know what to do with him when she gets back. Now, back to class, everyone. We let the EEA disrupt our friendship studies long enough.
[doors close]
Chancellor Neighsay: [grunting] Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted to have somepony in charge of the school.
Cozy Glow: Oh, I do. You just aren't the pony I had in mind.
[clank!]
Cozy Glow: I can't very well have the EEA running the school if I want to run it myself. Of course, that's just the beginning. You see, if there's one thing I've learned here, it's that friendship is the most powerful thing there is. And as headmare of the School of Friendship, nopony will have more friends than me! Making me the most powerful pony in Equestria! [maniacal laughter]
Chancellor Neighsay: [gulps]
[door opens]
Cozy Glow: [giggling evilly]
Scootaloo: Hey, Cozy Glow! What's so funny?
Sweetie Belle: Are you just happy to be running the school?
Cozy Glow: Oh, I'm just keeping Twilight's seat warm.
Apple Bloom: Still, it's pretty impressive.
Sweetie Belle: Is there anything we can do to help?
Scootaloo: We can hang out with you all day if you want.
Cozy Glow: You know, there is something I need help with.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheer]
[door opens]
[thudding]
[rattling]
Chancellor Neighsay: Oh, wonderful. I suppose you've all come to gloat?
Silverstream: Actually, we've come to undo all these chains and free you!
Chancellor Neighsay: But... But why?
Yona: Now that nasty pony met even nastier pony, maybe nasty pony not be so nasty.
[screech!]
[chains rattling]
[crash!]
Sandbar: Also, we'd kind of like to stop Cozy before she drains all the magic from Equestria.
Chancellor Neighsay: She's behind that as well? I must get word to Celestia and Luna.
Sandbar: How? Without magic, it'll take forever to get to them.
Chancellor Neighsay: While it's true that unicorns have lost their ability to cast spells, the most potent magic in Equestria is housed in our... artifacts. The EEA medallion allows me to travel throughout Equestria. Its magic worked when I chained you up. Perhaps it still has enough to send me to the princesses.
[magic surging]
Ocellus: I hope he makes it.
Smolder: I hope he doesn't come back and lock us up again.
Gallus: If he comes back.
Silverstream: Everything's gonna be fine! Twilight and the others are probably already on their way!
Cerberus: [growls, whimpers]
Fluttershy: Um, are you sure there's magic in Cerberus? Clarissa the pig has two tails, and while her singing voice is lovely, I don't think it's magical.
Twilight Sparkle: We need to try everything if we want to get out of here.
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. Tartarus isn't so bad. I could hang out here for a while!
[flames roaring]
[crunch!]
Pinkie Pie: Eh. Maybe not forever though.
Lord Tirek: But that is just what it will be! If my protégé has followed my instructions, by sunset tonight, every last vestige of Equestrian magic will disappear into the ether forever!
Twilight Sparkle: Have you even thought about what losing magic would mean?
Lord Tirek: It means the six of you will be trapped here! Like me!
Spike: Seven!
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. It means you're trapped here. Forever. With us.
[beat]
Lord Tirek: Uhhhh... I hadn't thought of it like that.
Spike: So, what do we do, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Dash and Applejack nearly have Cerberus tired out. If Rarity pitches in, I think they can get him to sit still long enough to try what I have in mind.
Fluttershy: I'm sure I can get the other monsters to help. [whispering, to Spike] Besides, I would never call them monsters.
Spike: What about Tirek? He's probably got some magic, too, right?
Pinkie Pie: Leave him to me.
Rarity: [to Cerberus] Down!
Cerberus: [low growl]
Fluttershy: Okay, everyone! Time to show Equestria that you aren't monsters! You're wonderful, mystical creatures!
Pinkie Pie:
I know it's not your birthday, so
You get a party, even though
We'll sing and dance from one to ten
And then we'll do it all again!
[blows] More tea, Princess Pudding Rock? [high-pitched voice] "Oh! Don't mind if I do!" [laughs] I can do this all eternity.
Lord Tirek: Fine! I'll help you leave! Just please stop!
Pinkie Pie: Tirek's in!
Apple Bloom: It's just so excitin' to have a foal our age runnin' things. We should have an ice cream social every day!
Cozy Glow: That's a splendid idea, Apple Bloom. But to tell you the truth, the thing I need help with most is cleaning.
Sweetie Belle: Say no more. Just take us around the school and show us everything you want cleaned.
Cozy Glow: Well, actually, you could start right in here.
Scootaloo: It looks pretty clean already.
[door slams]
Cozy Glow: Do you three think you can fool me?! I know a diversion when I see it!
[rocks crumbling]
Yona: Uh, why pony lead us back down here?
Sandbar: We obviously can't handle Cozy on our own. But we can't just sit around and wait for help. So, there's one more prisoner I think we should free.
Silverstream: Ooh! I guess Starlight! Is it Starlight?
Yona: Counselor pony, come out! We need help with nasty pony!
Sandbar: She can't talk to us from in there. We'll have to figure a way to get her out.
Gallus: Hey! This is just like chapter twelve in "Kanthaka's Facts and Artifacts" from Twilight's class!
[beat]
Gallus: What? I've been studying. Finals are coming up, you know?
Ocellus: Actually, I remember that, too! Cozy must've linked these artifacts to act like a mystical magnet, attracting all the magic in Equestria into that orb.
Smolder: So, we can shut it down by yanking one of these things out, right?
Ocellus: Sure, though that would probably cause a magical feedback loop and destroy the whole school!
Cozy Glow: Destroy the School of Friendship?! Oh, dear! Chancellor Neighsay was wrong about a lot of things, but I guess he was right about all of you!
Twilight Sparkle: All right. Is everypony ready?
Rarity: [to Cerberus] Sit! Good! [to Twilight Sparkle] I can't say for how much longer.
[cymbals crashing]
Pinkie Pie: All eternity!
Lord Tirek: Yes, by all means, please! Just get on with it!
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat]
Pinkie Pie: There's your cue, you evil centaur, you.
[magic surging]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: That's it! I think it's working!
[doors creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: Come on! I don't know how long I can hold it!
Rainbow Dash: [to Cerberus] Good boy!
Fluttershy: [to creatures] Bye, friends. Hopefully, we'll be able to turn you all back into your normal, wonderful selves soon.
Pinkie Pie: [to Lord Tirek] Thanks for the assist, your redness!
[zoom!]
[doors creaking]
[thud!]
Pinkie Pie: Yay! Twilight did it!
Twilight Sparkle: I couldn't have done it without all your help.
Rarity: I'm not sure we did!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Applejack: Tirek said all of Equestria's magic would be gone at sunset.
Twilight Sparkle: Without magic, there's no way we'll get back to the school in time!
Fluttershy: What does that mean?
Twilight Sparkle: It means... we've failed!
Cozy Glow: After everything Twilight's done for you, why would you want to destroy her school?
Gallus: We don't! You're the one using these artifacts to drain magic from Equestria!
Cozy Glow: Me?! We all just saw you with your claws all over them! [gasps] It all makes sense. These creatures want magic gone from Equestria because it's the only thing ponies have that they don't!
Ocellus: Technically, there's a magical component when Silverstream and I transform.
Yona: And Yona's friends' friendship is magic! Twilight said!
Cozy Glow: And you repay her by sending her to Tartarus on a wild goose chase so you could destroy everything she built! [gasps] They've even trapped Starlight in that-that thing! We have to defend this school!
[students shouting]
Sandbar: No! No, don't listen to her!
[Young Six and students shouting and grunting]
[thud!]
Gallus: [screams]
Smolder: Gallus!
Rest of Young Six: [grunting]
[cracking]
[vortex swirling]
"Citrine Spark": They just sacrificed themselves trying to save their friend. Professor Dash always said there's nothing more loyal than that. Shouldn't we try to save them?
Cozy Glow: They brought this on themselves. There's nothing we can do.
"Berry Bliss": That doesn't seem very generous. Or kind.
Cozy Glow: Yeah, yeah. The Elements of Harmony are very important. They're just not applicable in every circumstance. And with magic gone from Equestria, I'm not even sure the Tree of Harmony will be as helpful as it once was.
[shimmering]
Cozy Glow: What's happening?!
"Berry Bliss": They're glowing like the Elements! I think the Tree of Harmony saved them!
Gallus: Guess our friendship is pretty magical after all.
Ocellus: Hurry! Grab the artifacts!
Silverstream: Um, didn't you say that could destroy the school?
Ocellus: But if we don't try, we could lose magic forever!
Sandbar: You all better get clear!
[students screaming]
Cozy Glow: Wait! Where are you going?! Stoooooop!
[magic surging]
[boom!]
[thud]
[teleportation zap]
[students panicking]
[teleportation zap]
Yona: [laughs] Counselor pony—!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, it's nice to see you, too.
Ocellus: I guess magic is back.
Cozy Glow: You've ruined everything! Now Twilight and her ridiculous friends can escape from Tartarus!
[teleportation zap]
Cozy Glow: I mean... Yay! All my friends are safe!
Applejack: You can drop the act, Cozy Glow! Your pen pal Tirek told us all about how he helped you suck up all that magic!
Twilight Sparkle: But I still don't understand why.
Cozy Glow: [growls] Why?! Because friendship is power! You might be the Princess of Friendship, but as headmare of this school, I can collect even more friends than you!
[students murmuring]
Twilight Sparkle: You're the one who doesn't get it, Cozy. Friendship is powerful, but power isn't why you make friends. I'm sorry I couldn't teach you that.
Gallus: Well, you taught us.
Silverstream: You can't let one bad apple make you think you failed.
Sandbar: And we never could've stopped her if we hadn't learned what you taught us about friendship.
Cozy Glow: Honesty? Loyalty? Generosity? Blah-blah-blah! I can make more friends without using any of them! And if I can't do it here, I'll do it somewhere else!
"Patty Peppermint": Yeah... I don't think so!
Chancellor Neighsay: [sighs] I'm glad you're back in charge of the School of Friendship, Princess.
[door opens]
Chancellor Neighsay: It's clear to me now that there is nopony better suited for the job.
Spike: [belching]
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on?
Silverstream: Hi, Headmare Twilight! We're just practicing for graduation!
Spike: [belching]
Twilight Sparkle: Graduation?
Gallus: Now that we've saved Equestria, we figure we're done with school.
Twilight Sparkle and Chancellor Neighsay: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Saving Equestria is nice, but I'm afraid it'll take more than one semester to learn all there is to know about friendship.
Spike: [belches] Told ya.
Young Six: Awwww...
Chancellor Neighsay: Your headmare is right. I thought friendship was something only ponies should share with each other. But you all taught me how wrong I was. I suppose true friendship can take a lifetime to understand.
Twilight Sparkle: If it were easy to learn, we wouldn't need a school.
[crash!]
Apple Bloom: [yelps] We held her off as long as we could!
Scootaloo: But she locked us in this closet!
Sweetie Belle: What happened?! Is everything all right?! Where's Cozy Glow?!
All except Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Everything worked out just fine.
Princess Celestia: As for Cozy Glow, I can assure you — where she's going, she won't be causing any more trouble.
Cerberus: [whimpers]
Lord Tirek: Of course it's boring here now! But at least you're not in a cage!
[magic surging]
[clang!]
Cozy Glow: Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?
[ominous music]
[credits]

The Beginning of the End - Part 1

Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Fluttershy: Oh, good. We're all here.
Twilight Sparkle: So everypony got an urgent summons to the castle with no explanation?
Pinkie Pie: Yup! I just love a good mysterious summons. What's it about? Do you think it's a surprise party? Hey! Why are we running?
Twilight Sparkle: Because something could be terribly wrong! Somepony turned bad? Another evil creature back for revenge?!
Applejack: Don't you think you're bein' a little paranoid?
Twilight Sparkle: Why else would the Princesses send scrolls in such a hurry?
Rarity: Good point. They know better than to make us worry.
Pinkie Pie: Plus, I like it when you run so fast, the walls get all blurry! Wheeee!
Rainbow Dash: Race ya!
[bouncing]
[door opens]
Rarity: [panting]
Spike: [yelps]
Princess Celestia: Girls. Thank you so much for coming.
Twilight Sparkle: What's wrong?! What can we do?!
Princess Luna: That's just it. Nothing's wrong! Everything's perfect!
Applejack: Did y'all call us down here just to tell us that?
Rarity: With all due respect, majesties, you might want to save your urgent summons for matters that are a bit more... well, urgent!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [giggling]
Princess Luna: Well, there is more to it. Equestria is currently enjoying its longest period of harmony in recent years.
Princess Celestia: And it's all thanks to you, Twilight. And your friends, of course.
Spike: Who, us?
Rarity: Oh, pshaw. [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: It's about time you noticed!
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
Princess Luna: Because of your efforts, there's been less and less for us to do.
Princess Celestia: So, after much consideration, my sister and I have decided it is time for us... to retire!
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
[poof]
Discord: Breaking news! The royal princesses retiring! I have so many questions! Who'll take over? Who will run Equestria? Will it be someone tall, dark, and handsome? Or will it be the Lord of Chaos?
[magic zaps]
[beat]
Discord: Oh, fine. Go with the obvious choice.
Twilight Sparkle: [panicked noise]
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: You're retiring?!
Spike: Princesses can retire?
Princess Luna: [chuckles] Of course we can. I for one am looking forward to a little R&R. Maybe a trip to Silver Shoals.
Twilight Sparkle: And you want me to take your place?!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: Mm-hmm!
Princess Luna: With the help of your friends, of course!
Princess Celestia: We can't think of anypony more worthy. Over the years, we've watched you grow. You've faced task after task...
Princess Luna: ...challenge after challenge...
Discord: Countless adversities, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it...
Princess Celestia: And you've always prevailed.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, but that doesn't mean that I'm— that we're ready to do what you do!
Princess Celestia: Oh, of course you are. I realize this is a lot to take in, but—
Rainbow Dash: Nope! Makes perfect sense. We're awesome! [gasps] Does this mean we get all your powers?! Ooh, ooh! I call dibs on showing up in everypony's dreams!
Twilight Sparkle: You can't be ready to step into their horseshoes just like that!
Applejack: Well, if the princesses think it's time to retire, we're not a bad choice. We always have Equestria's best interests at heart.
Twilight Sparkle: That's a fair point... which should be taken into consideration when we have a round table discussion—
Rarity: Well, I'm in! Darlings, we'll all need a complete wardrobe update! And I would love to pick your brain about mane maintenance when you have a moment.
Fluttershy: As long as we all have each other, I'm sure we can do it!
Pinkie Pie: Yay! "Protectors of Equestria" on three! One... two...
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] If you're all on board, I guess I am, too.
Mane Six and Spike: Protectors of Equestria!
Twilight Sparkle: It'll be a bit of an adjustment, but I imagine the transfer of power will be a lengthy process, which will—
Princess Celestia: Actually, we just need a few days to put together a little ceremony.
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh] A few days?!
Rest of Mane Six: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: But that's so soon! Shouldn't there be some sort of training program that lasts weeks? No, months? If not years?!
Princess Celestia: Everything you've gone through over the years has been a training program.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, but there's gotta be a guide or a rulebook!
Discord: Yes, I have it right here. "How to Rule Equestria", by Nopony McPretendsmith.
[beat]
Princess Luna: The friendship journal you wrote yourselves is a better guide than any we could provide.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating]
Princess Celestia: We have the utmost confidence in you.
Princess Luna: And we hope you have the same in yourself.
Twilight Sparkle: [still hyperventilating, hyperventilates into paper bag]
Discord: Oh, I'm absolutely certain she does.
Twilight Sparkle: I am not confident about this at all!
Discord: Well, that's what I thought. I was being sarcastic before.
[spray bottle noises]
Discord: What? This is all so predictable. Now's the part where you all tell little Sparkle here that everything is going to be fine, but she won't believe you. Ugh. I don't need to be here for this.
[poof!]
Twilight Sparkle: It's just... I know I said yes, but then they said "in a few days", and there's still so much to figure out! It's all happening so fast! [hyperventilating into paper bag] I think I need some— [sips water, gulps] Okay! I'll feel much better—
Rarity: —once you make a plan?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, wow. It's like you—
Spike: —knew you were going to react this way? We did.
Pinkie Pie: Classic "Twilight-ing".
Twilight Sparkle: "Twilight-ing"? You... You made me a verb?
Applejack: It's not a bad thing. We just know you have a... process.
Rainbow Dash: Stage one – you get big news and you're like "Nooooo!", but then you pace, and you chart, you worry...
Fluttershy: It's okay. You go ahead and "Twilight", and we'll be here for you.
Twilight Sparkle: You're all acting so calm! But this is a big deal! What do we do if something big happens and the princesses aren't there to help?!
Rainbow Dash: Um, if you think about it, they literally almost never help.
[beat]
Applejack: Huh.
Pinkie Pie: And we still always win! Like when Sombra almost took back the Crystal Empire, or when Chrysalis pretended to be Cadance, or when Tirek came back and absorbed all the magic, or the other time Chrysalis tried to take over, or with Cozy Glow and the school! [inhales] Am I missing anything?
Rarity: Pony of Shadows.
Spike: Starlight when she was evil.
Fluttershy: Discord when he was evil.
Applejack: Do Flim and Flam count?
Rainbow Dash: See? We've almost always done things without the princesses' help! Which makes sense now, because it was all just training for you to take over!
Spike: And it worked! I mean, if you think about it, there hasn't been a single villain that we couldn't defeat.
Twilight Sparkle: Phew!
Queen Chrysalis: One day, you'll see! I will defeat Twilight Sparkle and her friends! [cackles] And they will pay for stealing my kingdom!
[magic zap]
[whoosh]
[scraping]
Cozy Glow: Psst, Tirek!
Lord Tirek: It is Lord Tirek. And what is it now?
Cozy Glow: I just wanna make sure you can see my best friends rock sculpture from over there!
Lord Tirek: [groans]
[whooshing]
[crumbling]
[drip]
[magic noises]
[whirling]
Queen Chrysalis: Lord Tirek!
Lord Tirek: A changeling? [to Cozy Glow] See? She gets it.
Queen Chrysalis: Chrysalis, queen of the changelings! Or at least I will be, when I'm restored to my rightful place! Why did you summon me? What do you want?!
Cozy Glow: [yelps] Oh, golly! We didn't bring you! I thought you freed us from Tartarus!
Queen Chrysalis: Tartarus? Whoever pulled you from there must have been somepony very powerful indeed.
King Sombra: [laughs]
Queen Chrysalis: King Sombra! You have returned? Why did you bring us here?
Grogar: He didn't.
[whoosh]
[thump]
Grogar: It was I. You may call me... Grogar.
Queen Chrysalis and Lord Tirek: [gasps]
Queen Chrysalis: The Grogar?
Lord Tirek: I thought that you were a legend!
King Sombra: I've heard of you.
Cozy Glow: Who?
Grogar: I assure you, I am very real. And you have all been brought here as part of my plan to rid Equestria of Twilight Sparkle and her friends once and for all. [laughs]
Cozy Glow: I am so sorry, but the name 'Grofar'? It just doesn't ring any bells.
Grogar: Grogar! I have been away too long if my name no longer strikes fear into the heart of one so tiny. Perhaps a demonstration of power is in order?
[magic zaps]
Lord Tirek: [kisses] Grogar is ancient and extremely powerful. The land that would become Equestria was a mere collection of farms and pastures until he declared himself emperor of all he saw. I remember hearing tales of his tyranny when I was young.
King Sombra: I have also heard of the first Emperor of Equestria. The "Father of Monsters".
Grogar: I gave life to the foulest of creatures and allowed them to run wild, taking what they wanted and destroying the rest. My reign was a glorious, fear-soaked epoch of darkness in Equestria.
Queen Chrysalis: Ha! Until Gusty the Great rose up and banished you.
Grogar: That fool believed taking my bell would defeat me! But she only weakened me temporarily.
Cozy Glow: Um, Tirek is really old – [to Tirek] no offense, you look great – [to Grogar] but if he knew about you when he was young, we have super different ideas about what "temporarily" means.
Grogar: Silence! I've spent millennia gathering power, biding my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to seize control of Equestria! And watching all of you. I've seen each of your humiliating defeats at the hooves of six puny ponies. And do you know why they've always bested you?
Queen Chrysalis: Because they cheat!
Lord Tirek: Because they are annoyingly lucky.
Cozy Glow: I'm just a kid, so...
Grogar: It is because they work together. Where one is weak, another is strong, and thus unified, they are a formidable force! But we shall use their own strategy to defeat them.
Queen Chrysalis: What are you suggesting?
Grogar: I suggest nothing. I demand that you join me, and together, Equestria will be ours!
King Sombra: I don't do "ours". I only do mine. I will take back the Crystal Empire on my own, and I will destroy any pony who gets in my way!
Grogar: Such confidence. Go! Try to take back your kingdom. I shall send you there myself. If you prevail, you may keep it. But when you fail, you will submit to me!
King Sombra: And if I refuse this deal?
Grogar: Then I shall return you to the darkness from which you were summoned.
King Sombra: Fine! But this is a waste of time, as I will crush those who defy me. I will defeat all who get in my way! I'm—
[whoosh]
Grogar: I advise the rest of you to prepare to work together!
Cozy Glow: Well, working together sounds an awful lot like making friends, so... you two are in luck, because I know all about that!
[twang]
[knocking]
Starlight Glimmer: Twi! You in here? With the school closed for the summer, I didn't think anypony would be here—
[paper rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: So much to do, not enough time! No! I already did that! Wait, no, I didn't! Uggggh, not enough time!
Spike: [hushed] Help! She's spiraling! We're at the "my plan needs a plan" stage of a total Twilight meltdown!
Starlight Glimmer: [hushed] Oh, got it. [normal] Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Did I write down "eliminate redundant lists" on my School of Friendship to-do list or my personal to-do list?
Starlight Glimmer: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Gah! Starlight! Oh, good, you're here! I need to talk to you.
Starlight Glimmer: Okay...
Twilight Sparkle: Hang on, I had "talk to Starlight" written down on one of these. Just let me find it so I can cross it off! [worried noises]
Starlight Glimmer: Wow, you are "Twilight-ing" hard.
Twilight Sparkle: You say "Twilight-ing", too? Well excuuuuse me! This is the first time I've ever been asked to run a whole kingdom!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, you're right, you're right. [chuckles] So, what did you want to talk to me about?
Twilight Sparkle: Ah, here it is! I wrote it down. [reading non-stop] Starlight, you have blossomed into one of the strongest, smartest, most caring ponies I know, and I can't think of anypony better to leave in charge of my castle and the School of Friendship! So what do you think?
Starlight Glimmer: What?! You want me to take care of the castle and run the school?!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh... I can't! I'm not ready! Remember what happened the last time you left me in charge?! And now you want me to do it permanently?! What if I don't do the right things?! [hyperventilates] What if—?!
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, get a hold of yourself! You've risen to every challenge you've ever faced. You can do anything you put your mind to. You've got this.
Starlight Glimmer: Hah! And so do you. See what I did there? You just said everything you need to hear.
Twilight Sparkle: [sarcastic laugh] Nice try. But running a school and running a country are two very different things. Now, if you don't mind I have seven thousand, four hundred, and thirty-two things to take care of before I become the new ruler of Equestria! [hyperventilates, hyperventilating into paper bag]
Spike: It was a valiant effort.
[Crystal Ponies screaming]
[crystals cracking]
[shing]
[magical zaps]
[metal clinks]
[crystals cracking]
[door opens]
Shining Armor: The guard says Sombra's breached the castle!
Princess Cadance: Hurry, Twilight! We need you!
[poof!]
Princess Cadance: Do you have Flurry Heart?
Shining Armor: I thought you had her.
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance: [gasp]
[door opens]
Flurry Heart: Mama!
Princess Celestia: [gasps] You won't get away with this!
King Sombra: Oh, but I already have.
Flurry Heart: [angry noises]
King Sombra: [laughs]
[crystals cracking]
King Sombra: With the Crystal Heart now in my possession, there is nothing to stop me from ruling the Crystal Empire!
[chains clinking]
King Sombra: Kneel before Sombra! [sighs] Long live the king.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for coming so quickly—
[magic zap]
Rest of Mane Six and Starlight Glimmer: [gasping]
Discord: Sure thing. But if you're gonna be the ruler of Equestria, you may want to work on your penmanship. This looks like it says, "Cadance sent an emergency message. Sombra's back, and he's taking over the Crystal Empire."
Twilight Sparkle: That's exactly what it says!
Rarity: But... But how is that possible?! I thought the Crystal Heart had dispelled him into the ether!
Twilight Sparkle: I have no idea! But he's back, and it's up to us to save the Empire and my family!
Fluttershy: Shouldn't somepony tell Celestia and Luna?
Discord: Ooh, good point! One of us should probably loop in the real rulers of Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: No. If we're going to run Equestria, we'll need to handle things like this on our own.
Discord: Oh, Twilight! Could this mean that you finally have the confidence to ascend to the throne like the princesses believe you can?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe? Unless you'd consider taking care of Sombra for us?
[beat]
Discord: Oh, no-no-no-no! You're absolutely right! You need to learn how to handle these things on your own. Ta-ta!
[magic zap]
Applejack: Handlin' things on our own is all well and good, but last time we defeated Sombra with the Crystal Heart.
Spike: What if he has it already? How are we gonna stop him?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] With the Elements of Harmony! With those, we can defeat anypony! Even Sombra!
Discord: Ah, no-no-no. You didn't need the Elements the last time you defeated Sombra. And I'm not sure that using them still counts as "handling things on your own".
Twilight Sparkle: My family is in danger. I'm not taking any chances.
Rainbow Dash: She's got a point.
Discord: Ugh, fine.
Pinkie Pie: What's his problem?
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, can you stay here and-
Starlight Glimmer: [cutting off Twilight] -take care of the school? I've got you covered.
[teleportation zap]
[magic twinkling]
[teleportation zap]
King Sombra: [chewing]
[magic zap]
King Sombra: It's cute that you think that will do anything.
Princess Cadance: It might not, but they will!
Pinkie Pie: Cavalry's here! [grunts]
King Sombra: [chuckles] How can I be surprised when I'm waiting to show all of you your greatest fear?
Mane Six: [gasp, groan]
[clanks]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh...
Princess Celestia: Oh, Twilight. How disappointing.
Princess Luna: Equestria was in your care, and you let it be destroyed!
King Sombra: You should all surrender! Nothing can defeat your own fears!
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: We didn't need to defeat them. We just needed to face them long enough to distract you!
[crystal cracking]
King Sombra: Nooooo!
[magic zap]
Shining Armor: [mockingly] It's cute that you think that'll do anything.
[magic zap]
[explosion]
King Sombra: [growls] You may have won the battle, but I shall win the war!
[magic zap]
Spike: Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: We totally just wiped the castle with that guy!
Shining Armor: Thanks, Twily.
Pinkie Pie: That was fun!
Applejack: And easy.
Rarity: As magical battles go, that was a cakewalk.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm... Cakewalk...
Rest of Mane Six: [giggle]
Twilight Sparkle: We did handle this pretty well. On our own.
Spike: Does this mean...?
Twilight Sparkle: I still don't feel like I'm one hundred percent ready, but will I ever?
Applejack: Knowing you? Nope.
Twilight Sparkle: I have you guys, and we have the Elements. And together, we've never failed. We'll be okay.
Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [assorted cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Once again, Equestria is safe.
Fluttershy: What should we do to celebrate?
Pinkie Pie: I vote for a cakewalk!
[rumbling]
Applejack: What's goin' on?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know!
[cracking]
[shattering]
Mane Six: [gasps]
King Sombra: [laughs evilly]
[to be continued]
[credits]

The Beginning of the End - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Princess Celestia: It is time for us... to retire!
Twilight Sparkle: And you want me to take your place?!
Princess Celestia: With the help of your friends, of course.
Grogar: You may call me... Grogar. Together, Equestria will be ours!
King Sombra: I will take back the Crystal Empire on my own!
Spike: How are we gonna stop him?
Twilight Sparkle: With the Elements of Harmony! With those, we can defeat anypony!
[rumbling]
[shattering]
King Sombra: [laughs evilly]
[theme song]
King Sombra: [laughing maniacally]
Rainbow Dash: What. Just. Happened?!
Fluttershy: The Tree of Harmony can't really be gone, can it?!
Twilight Sparkle: It can't be!
King Sombra: But it is! You thought you defeated me, but you led me right to the source of your power. Now that it's destroyed, nothing can stop me!
[clinking]
Twilight Sparkle: He's right... With the Elements gone, I don't know how we can defeat him!
Rainbow Dash: Then we'll just have to beat him the old-fashioned way!
[clinking]
[magic zap]
[crunching]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
King Sombra: Ha! You're no match for me! I will finally rule the Crystal Empire! [gasps] Wait... With you out of the way, I will rule all of Equestria!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
King Sombra: Oh, yes. And I think I know exactly where I'll start.
Applejack: Don't you dare say it!
King Sombra: Your sweet, little hometown.
Rarity: You leave Ponyville alone!
King Sombra: Or what? Without your Elements, it would be so easy to control you.
[magic noises]
Mane Six: [yelps]
King Sombra: But there's no point. My conquering Ponyville is already your greatest fear! [laughs maniacally]
Mane Six: No!
Fluttershy: What do we do?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! The Tree of Harmony grew the Elements! It kept the Everfree Forest under control! And now it's gone. Sombra will take over Equestria, and it's all my fault! I knew I wasn't ready to take the princesses' place, but I never thought I'd mess up this badly!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What are you looking at me for?
Rainbow Dash: This is usually when you say something funny to lift our spirits.
Pinkie Pie: Sorry. Nothing about this is funny to me.
Rarity: [tears up] I'm sorry. I'm trying to be strong, but I just can't bear to think about poor Sweetie Belle under the spell of that monster!
Pinkie Pie: Or those sweet little Cake twins...
Rainbow Dash: Or Spike, or Starlight...
Fluttershy: Or Angel... or anypony forced to do that monster's bidding!
[splat]
Applejack: What the—? Twilight, what are you doin'?
Twilight Sparkle: We can't just stay here. I don't have a plan, and I don't know what I'm gonna do once we get out. But we can't sit here and let Sombra make slaves of everypony we love!
Rainbow Dash: Let me help! I'm faster!
[digging]
Pinkie Pie: I like digging!
[whrring]
Fluttershy: I've been known to get my hooves dirty!
Applejack: Move over, y'all!
Rarity: Normally, I wouldn't dream of digging, but right now, show me the muddy!
[digging]
[whirring]
Mane Six: [gasps]
Applejack: Apple Bloom! It's me! Look at me, sugarcube! Twilight, you gotta free her! Please!
[magic noises]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] I... I can't! Without the Elements, my magic isn't strong enough to stop Sombra's! Spike! Spike, where are you going? Starlight?
Starlight Glimmer: [monotone] We must lay siege to Canterlot.
Twilight Sparkle: No! Snap out of it, you two! You're stronger than his magic!
Rarity: Sweetie Belle, please stop! I can't get her to stop! I can't get her—!
Twilight Sparkle: None of us can. We can't reach them!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: [sobbing] He made them bake a black licorice fruitcake that says "Congratulations to Our Favorite Supreme Emperor King Sombra" in green frosting! It's the ugliest cake I've ever seen! [sobbing]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight, this is bad! Like, really bad!
Fluttershy: [sobbing] I've never been so sad in my whole life!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what to do! I don't know how to free them, but I don't know how to stop Sombra! Everypony was so sure I'd do such a great job! Well, this is exactly what I was afraid of! Could anything else possibly go wrong?!
Pinkie Pie: Well... With the Tree of Harmony gone, the Everfree Forest could grow out of control and threaten the town!
Rarity: Darling, that's oddly specific.
[crackling]
Mane Six: [gasp]
[crackling]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Even if we figure out how to defeat Sombra and bring everypony back to Ponyville, if we don't stop the forest, there won't be a Ponyville to come back to!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: Ahem.
[clicking]
Fluttershy: For our friends!
Applejack and Rarity: For our families!
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: For our home!
Twilight Sparkle: For Equestria!
[crackling]
Mane Six: Equestria!
[whoosh]
Royal guards: [inhale]
[magic zaps]
King Sombra: You! Break it down!
[thuds]
[crash]
[door opens]
King Sombra: They've fled! Celestia and Luna are too cowardly to even stand against me! Equestria is mine! [laughs maniacally]
Mane Six: [grunting]
[magic zaps]
[chopping]
Fluttershy: Come on, everypony! [shrieks]
[crackling]
[animals squeaking]
Applejack: We've been at this for hours, but it's just growin' back too fast!
Twilight Sparkle: We have to keep trying!
[crackling]
[magic zaps]
Mane Six: [gasp]
Applejack: I know we're supposed to be able to handle things on our own, but I've never been happier to see two ponies in my whole life!
[teleportation zap]
Star Swirl: Nopony is meant to handle this on their own!
Twilight Sparkle: Star Swirl! The Tree of Harmony, it's—!
Star Swirl: I know. I alerted the princesses as soon as I could. I felt it when it happened. Like part of my essence just ceased to be.
Twilight Sparkle: I know what you mean. I'm sorry.
Star Swirl: Don't be. I've more than enough magic in me to keep the Everfree Forest under control.
Twilight Sparkle: You can do that?
Star Swirl: The Pillars and I planted the Tree of Harmony. Who do you think kept the Forest under control before it did?
[magic zaps]
Star Swirl: It will take time, but with the princesses' help, I can keep it at bay!
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: Aw, yeah! Go get 'em, beardy!
[magic zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Sombra's back, and he's taken control of all of our friends!
Princess Luna: We've left Canterlot defenseless!
Princess Celestia: Twilight, you must go! Defend Equestria, and we shall contain the forest.
Pinkie Pie: At least now we're back to just one problem!
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Mane Six: [shrieks]
Pinkie Pie: Aw, everypony's all evilly!
Royal guard: [growls]
Fluttershy: Sombra's gonna force us to fight our way through our friends?!
Rainbow Dash: Not if I can help it!
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, guess we need a different plan. Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! I'm not prepared to fight against the citizens of Equestria! I guess that's one more thing I'm not ready to do...
Applejack: Well, we'd better figure out somethin' quick, because none of them seem to have a problem with it!
[drawbridge lowering]
Rarity: [shrieks] Oh, sorry about this, Fancy Pants!
Applejack: We promise we'll let y'all out as soon as we can!
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash: Ooh, will I go here? Or here? Or here, or there?!
Fluttershy: [pants] Huh?
[ding!]
[whoosh]
[smack!]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Gotcha!
[whoosh]
Fluttershy: I don't know how long we can hold them off!
Applejack: And holdin' them off isn't what we need anyhow! We need to get inside!
Rarity: But we can't just leave them here, all possessed and Sombra-fied!
Pinkie Pie: What do we do, Twilight?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, but we can't stay here!
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry we couldn't help our friends, but I didn't know what else to do.
Applejack: At least we're inside.
Pinkie Pie: [unconvinced] Yeah! All we have to do now is defeat King Sombra! [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: I... We...
[splat]
Discord: [chewing] Oh, my. No Elements? No princesses? Seems like you're in a bit of a pickle! Or are you in... [snaps] ...more of a jam? [chewing] Mmm!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord! What are you doing here?!
Discord: [swallows] Well, I was going to hang these up all over the castle to celebrate your coronation, but apparently it's a bit premature.
[pop]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad to see you! We could really use some all-powerful Lord of Chaos help right now!
Discord: Moi? Oh, I couldn't possibly.
[trotting]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, poodles!
Twilight Sparkle: Discord, please!
Discord: Oh, fine. [snaps] Just to be clear, I was really rooting for you to do this on your own and parlay that confidence boost into being the best protectors of Equestria you can be.
Rainbow Dash: A little less talking and a little more helping?!
Discord: [snaps]
[splat]
[door opening and closing]
[splats]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Thank you, Discord!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what we'd do without you!
[magic zaps, crystals cracking]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, "King" Sombra! Time to give up the crown!
King Sombra: [laughs] Here to fight the good fight with nothing but your wits? Admirable, but foolish! [grunts]
[splat]
King Sombra: [grunts]
Discord: Well, I guess it's on me to be the MVP today. I was betting on you, and I do hate being wrong. Although if you think about it, I am your friend, so maybe you win because friendship wins? Although Fluttershy should get most of the credit for that. She's my favorite.
King Sombra: [grunts]
Discord: [slow motion yell]
[thud]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Discord!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasps]
King Sombra: [laughs] Not even the Lord of Chaos can stand against me! I am truly the most powerful creature in Equestria!
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: Discord!
Twilight Sparkle: We need you!
Fluttershy: [tearing up] Oh, please wake up, please wake up... [gasps] Discord!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you're okay! We can't beat him without you!
King Sombra: You couldn't beat me with him, either! [laughs]
Discord: [coughs] [weakly] It would appear that you're on your own. [ragged breath] [snaps] I have nothing left to give.
Applejack: That's it, then? We're doomed?
King Sombra: Of course you are. I can't believe it's taken you this long to realize it. Now, how shall I eliminate all this clutter in my throne room?
Mane Six: [growl]
Discord: [weakly] Listen to me. You don't need me. You don't need the princesses, and you certainly don't need the Elements. [coughs] Fluttershy, you will always be kind. Applejack, you will always be honest. Rarity, you'll always be generous. [ragged breath] And Rainbow Dash will be loyal as can be. Pinkie will always bring laughter wherever she goes. And Twilight... [coughs] you are and always will be the embodiment of magic. You lost sight of what's in front of you. You're here, together, willing to give everything you've got for Equestria. Nothing and nopony can ever take that away from you, because that's who you are.
King Sombra: [laughs] It's going to take more than a sentimental speech to save you.
Twilight Sparkle: Discord's right. We've proven time and time again that the real magic is the six of us working together! With these girls by my side, I'm not afraid of you! I'm not afraid of what you can do or how much power you have!
King Sombra: You should be.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: You may knock us down, but we're gonna get back up again!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: And again!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: And again! As long as we're together, we will never stop trying to defeat you!
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining]
Fluttershy: For our friends!
Applejack and Rarity: For our families!
Mane Six except Twilight Sparkle: For our home!
Twilight Sparkle: For Equestria!
[magic noises]
King Sombra: [grunts] No! This can't be possible! Your magic can't defeat mine! I destroyed the source of your power!
Twilight Sparkle: You can't destroy our friendship, Sombra!
Rainbow Dash: And we keep telling bad guys.
Applejack: But y'all just don't seem to remember.
Mane Six: Friendship is magic!
[magic explosion]
King Sombra: Noooooooooo!
[crystal cracking]
[boom]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Aw, do you want more juice?
Discord: [weakly] Only if it's not too much trouble. And it's red. And it has one of those little umbrellas. And two cherries. No, no, actually, make it three. And maybe, uh... some donuts?
Princess Celestia: I see you've made yourselves at home.
Twilight Sparkle: Celestia! Luna! I know what you're going to say. I should have called on you as soon as I knew how dangerous it was. A good leader knows when to ask for help, and I didn't. And because of me, the Tree of Harmony was destroyed. Equestria deserves somepony much better than me as its leader.
Princess Celestia: You're right.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Princess Celestia: About one thing. A good leader knows when to ask for help, but a great leader has the courage to admit when they've made a mistake and the strength to make it right. Today, you've proven to me beyond any doubt that you will be a great leader.
Twilight Sparkle: Will be?
Princess Celestia: Luna and I have decided it may have been a bit unfair to thrust this upon you without giving you the time you need to prepare.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Thank goodness! I really wasn't ready!
Discord: Not ready?! So, Twilight's not taking over?! This was all for nothing?! I pretended to be very hurt and gave one of the most convincing speeches of my—?!
Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: Pretended?!
Discord: Of course! You don't think some "would-be king" could actually hurt the Lord of Chaos, do you? Anyway, as I was saying, I pretended to be very hurt to convince you that you didn't need anything but yourself to be the incredible leader I know you can be. And now it's not happening?!
Princess Celestia: It will. But when she's ready.
Discord: How can she not be ready?! What a waste of a perfectly wonderful speech! Ugh! Honestly, I don't know why I even bother.
Rarity: Ugh! So he could have ended the whole Sombra thing whenever he wanted?
Fluttershy: But he didn't, because he cares.
Rainbow Dash: That's Discord for ya.
Applejack: He sure has a weird way of bein' supportive.
Pinkie Pie: Super odd dude.
[magic zap]
Discord: I heard that!
[magic zap]
Mane Six, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna: [laughing]
Princess Luna: Also, truth be told, Celestia and I had fun today fighting side-by-side with Star Swirl for our home. It's been years since we've gotten to do what you girls do. You all make it look so easy.
Rainbow Dash: Well, we are kind of an awesome team.
Fluttershy: Every adventure is heart-pounding, but so rewarding.
Pinkie Pie: I'm up for anything, as long as it's with all of you!
Rarity: [giggles] Life certainly hasn't been dull since we met.
Applejack: Nowhere else I'd rather be.
Twilight Sparkle: We are pretty incredible together. And we would do anything for Equestria. I guess I know, when the time comes, as long as we're together, we probably—
Rest of Mane Six: [clearing throats]
Twilight Sparkle: We definitely got this.
Rest of Mane Six: Awww!
Cozy Glow: Now I'll say something nice about centaurs. Tirek, you say something nice about changelings. And Chrysalis, you say something nice about ponies!
Queen Chrysalis: Never!
Grogar: Let us hope the three of you will be enough for my plans.
Queen Chrysalis: And what of King Sombra?
Lord Tirek: Did he succeed?
Grogar: Hah!
[magic noise]
Grogar: I'd say he gambled and lost! But at least he can serve as a warning to those who doubt continuing with my plans. Unless any of you have doubts.
Lord Tirek: Uh, not I.
Queen Chrysalis: Nope!
Cozy Glow: I'm good!
Grogar: Then we shall join forces and work together to bring Equestria to its knees! [laughs]
Cozy Glow, Queen Chrysalis, and Lord Tirek: [nervous laughter]
[credits]

Uprooted

[zooming]
[thud!]
Rainbow Dash: Congratulations, Silverstream! You're officially the first non-Pegasus Wonderbolt!
Silverstream: Really?! That is such an honor! I don't know how to thank you, Professor Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Easy! You're kicking off our show right now! So get up there and make me proud!
[whoosh!]
Silverstream: Wait! I don't have my uniform!
Ocellus: Silverstream! Somehow, I missed a class all year, and the final is today! If I don't pass, I can't graduate!
Yona: [screaming]
[beat]
Yona: [sighs]
Ocellus: Whoa. That was weird.
Silverstream: And that's even weirder.
Smolder: [sips, sighs] Hmm? Uh, this isn't mine!
Gallus: [screams] Make it stop! Make it stop! [hyperventilating] Huh?
Sandbar: [panicked noises]
[magic sounds]
Tree of Harmony: Good. You have all answered my summons.
Silverstream: Wait. You mean this isn't my dream?
Yona: Friends must be dreaming together!
Gallus: More like a nightmare!
Sandbar: I know, right? How do I pick just one? They all look so good!
Smolder: That's your version of a bad dream?
Ocellus: But why did you bring us here, Headmare Twilight?
Tree of Harmony: I am not Twilight. I am merely the messenger. You all must hurry. The Tree of Harmony needs you.
[smash!]
[magic sounds]
Young Six: [gasp]
[theme song]
[squeaking]
Spike: [clicks tongue] Lookin' good.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! I have horrible news!
Spike: What's wrong? Is the Crystal Empire under attack again?!
Twilight Sparkle: What? No! We only have twenty highlighters! And they're all orange! How will everycreature color-code their notes?!
Spike: I'm pretty sure you're the only one that does that.
Twilight Sparkle: Still, twenty isn't enough for the new school year!
Spike: We got plenty of time to order more. The friendship students won't be back until—
[doors open]
Spike: Uh, now?
Yona: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this is a surprise. Why are you all here so early? Did I send out the wrong back-to-school date?!
Smolder: Oh, we're not here for school.
Sandbar: Yeah. We're back 'cause the Tree of Harmony called us here.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Gallus: Don't feel bad it didn't reach out to you. We kinda have a special connection with it after last year.
Twilight Sparkle: But the Tree couldn't have called you. It's gone! Sombra destroyed it!
Young Six: [gasp]
Spike: Mmmmaybe next time, ease in with those truth bombs.
Sandbar: W-What about the Elements of Harmony?
Twilight Sparkle: Those are gone, too.
Ocellus: But doesn't that mean the Everfree Forest will take over Equestria?!
Spike: We've got that part under control, and Sombra won't be coming back, so... some good news, right?
Silverstream: Can we see the Tree ourselves? Or what's left of it?
Twilight Sparkle: As long as you promise to stick together. The Castle of the Two Sisters isn't the safest place, as you may remember.
Yona: Yona not scared of puckwudgies anymore! Friends save whole school from evil Pegasus!
Spike: [aside, to Twilight] She does have a point.
Young Six: [laughing]
Ocellus: Yes!
Young Six: [gasp]
Gallus: How could this happen?!
Ocellus: [gasps] If only we hadn't gone home for summer break. Maybe we could've saved the Tree.
Smolder: [huffs] I wish that Sombra guy was still around, so we could teach him a lesson!
Yona: That not bring back Tree. Or Elements of Harmony.
Silverstream: [gasps] Wait! We all saw and heard the Tree in our dream, right? How could it talk to us if it was really gone? Maybe if we close our eyes and think really strong friendship thoughts, the Tree will get better!
Smolder: Eh, I've heard worse suggestions.
[music]
[beat]
Sandbar: [loud whisper] Is it working?
Yona: No.
Ocellus: I guess the Tree really is gone.
Gallus: Then we need to do something to honor it!
Smolder: Ah, good idea, Gallus!
Sandbar: Hey, maybe that's why the Tree called us! It must've used the last of its magic to make sure we'd come here and keep its memory alive!
Ocellus: It did say it needed us.
Thorax: Ocellus!
[transformation noise]
[thud]
Thorax: There you are! The hive has been worried sick! Why did you leave without telling us? The last time you and your friends did that, it almost brought our kingdoms to war!
[transformation noise]
Ocellus: Uh, sorry, Thorax! It was an emergency!
Thorax: Well, next time, ask before you run off. Now, come on. Let's go home.
Smolder: Wait! She can't leave! We have a... dragon quest!
Thorax: But she's not a dragon.
[transformation noise]
Thorax: You know what I mean.
[transformation noise]
Yona: This quest for all Yona friends! Need to help Tree!
Sandbar: And it might take a while.
Silverstream: Can we stay, Headmare Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, as long as you get permission from your kingdoms, I suppose it's all right.
Gallus: You want that permission in triplicate, or is one enough?
[beat]
Gallus: What? I like to be prepared.
[dragons yelling]
Smolder: [straining] Yah!
[dragons cheering]
Smolder: [laughs]
[montage music]
Yona: [snorts]
[knocks on door]
Grampa Gruff: [coughs]
[door slams]
[music continues]
[inaudible dialogue]
Sandbar: Hey, you're back! Great! Since I live locally, I figured I'd do a little cleaning up while you were gone. Give us a head start, you know?
Rest of Young Six: [gasp]
Gallus: Sandbar, where's the Tree?
Sandbar: I got rid of it, to make room for a memorial.
Smolder: You did this?!
Sandbar: Uh, yeah. That's what you guys were thinking, right?
Smolder: [smack]
Silverstream: So not.
Ocellus: How can we remember the Tree if it's totally gone?!
Sandbar: Oh, it's not gone. Look! I planted a new tree. [grumbles]
Ocellus: Sandbar, you know that's not the same tree, right?
Sandbar: But it's a symbol, y'know?
Yona: Pony heart in right place.
Gallus: [growls] That doesn't matter! This cave was supposed to stay exactly the same so that future creatures could come visit and experience the memory of the Tree!
Sandbar: Sorry, everycreature. I thought I was helping.
Smolder: The Tree of Harmony is a huge part of Equestrian history. If we're gonna honor it, we need to do better than that.
Silverstream: Yeah! Like with lots of artwork that represents the symbolism and deep emotions of the Tree!
Gallus: No! It should be a museum with all the Tree's history and artifacts.
Smolder: Or a really big and imposing monument, so everycreature knows how powerful the Tree was!
Ocellus: I think we should turn this cave into a place for creatures to reflect on the Tree's true gift – the Elements of Harmony.
Smolder: Boring.
Silverstream: I like my idea better.
Sandbar: What's more perfect than another tree?!
Ocellus: What would Headmare Twilight want?
Gallus: Yona! You've been awfully quiet. Which idea do you like best?
Yona: Yona like when friends not argue. M-Maybe friends listen to each other and... make plan together?
[beat]
Rest of Young Six: Naaaah.
Yona: [groans]
Sandbar: [to sapling] Hey, little guy. Need a drink?
[water sprinkling]
Gallus: Step right up! Walk this way! Welcome to the one, the only, magical Tree of Harmony Museum! Come, see the birthplace of the Tree! Grown from the tears of a basilisk and tended day and night by pony magicians! This is truly one of the wonders of Equestria!
Yona: Uh, Gallus? None of that actually true.
Gallus: So? Honoring the Tree means giving it a story that creatures will care about.
Sandbar: It already has a great story!
Gallus: Yeah, but mine makes more sense.
Sandbar: Whatever. Can you just keep it down? My sapling doesn't like the noise.
Gallus: Good! It doesn't belong in the Tree's memorial anyway. [to tourists] And if you think this is great, just wait until you see the mystical Cave of Harmony!
[scraping]
Smolder: [straining]
[thud]
[crunch]
[whoosh]
Yona: What dragon doing?
Smolder: [straining] Making a memorial statue of the Tree. When creatures see this, they'll be super impressed!
Yona: Uh, look like rock, not tree.
Smolder: I'm not finished yet! And, honestly, I'm kinda having a hard time remembering what the Tree looked like. I can't believe I'm already forgetting.
[painting noises, splats and splashes, etc.]
Silverstream: Hmmm... Needs more loyalty.
[splash]
Silverstream: Careful, Yona! It's not dry yet.
Yona: What hippogriff painting?
Silverstream: It's the Tree, silly! See? These are the emotions its loss made me feel, dancing with the representations of Elements of Harmony!
[beat]
Silverstream: Maybe I should label it.
[creaking]
[splash]
Ocellus: Oops! Sorry!
Silverstream: Oh, no! Brown isn't an Element of Harmony!
[splashing]
Ocellus: [straining] Thanks, Yona! This fountain is heavier than I thought.
[thud]
[wind chimes]
[transformation zap]
Ocellus: It's for creatures to look at as they honor the Tree's memory in quiet thought and contemplation. I got some help and guidance from the counselor at our feelings forum back home. Only positive energy will bloom here.
Gallus: Wait! You can't go yet!
Tourists: [gasps]
Gallus: There's a whole puppet show of the time the Tree tested us in the catacombs under the School of Friendship! [to Smolder] Hey, stop! You can't bring that hunk of junk into my museum!
Smolder: It's not for your museum. It's for my tree memorial.
Gallus: So leave it outside!
Smolder: It belongs in here!
[crunch]
[crash]
[splash]
Silverstream: [gasps]
[rumbling]
Yona: [gasps]
[crash]
Gallus: Uh-oh.
Silverstream: [gasps] What did you do?!
[water flowing]
Ocellus: My meditation garden is ruined! Why couldn't you've been more careful?!
Gallus: This never would have happened if you had all just listened to me!
Sandbar: And made the Tree some kind of roadside attraction?! Uh, no thanks!
Silverstream: [hyperventilating into paper bag] Headmare Twilight is gonna be so mad when she sees what you guys did to the Cave of Harmony!
Smolder: Yeah, like some rainbow art project was better?
Sandbar: Not cool!
Silverstream: It's impressionism!
Ocellus: I'm just glad the Tree isn't here to see this.
Smolder: This is all your fault!
Gallus: I give up!
Yona: [grunts] Quiet! [stomps] Friends doing this the wrong way. All remembering Tree of Harmony for what Tree was, not what Tree is!
Smolder: You mean 'gone'?
Yona: No! Yona mean even though Tree not here here, Tree here. In hearts. Tree made friendship even closer.
Ocellus: That's right! We ran away to be together right above this spot! The Castle of the Two Sisters!
Sandbar: And later on, the Tree tested us to show us we're stronger as a team!
Smolder: It did call us all here.
Silverstream: [gasps] You mean the Tree of Harmony lives on in our friendship!
Gallus: Wow. I can't believe we just got schooled by a yak.
Yona: Yaks know things not forever. That's why smash and rebuild.
Ocellus: I think we took care of the smashing part.
Gallus: Then maybe we should start building. Together?
Smolder: Just one problem. We still haven't decided what we should do for the Tree.
Yona: Yona have idea.
[clanking]
Ocellus: The Tree! Where did you find it?!
Sandbar: Oh, I didn't move it too far.
[beat]
Sandbar: It was kinda heavy.
Gallus: And you're just mentioning this now?
Yona: What important is that Yona bring back branches so friends can rebuild!
Smolder: Rebuild what, exactly?
Silverstream: Ooh-ooh-ooh, I know! Something that represents what the Tree is! The gateway to our friendship!
Yona: Yes! What ponies call it? Club... home?
Gallus: A treehouse!
Ocellus: [gasps] That's a great idea!
Smolder: I know the Tree would've liked that!
Yona: Uh-huh!
[transformation zap]
Sandbar: [straining] Help me lift this piece!
[Silverstream]
We celebrate our friendship
[Ocellus]
We celebrate the tree
[Sandbar]
The memories inside us
[Young Six]
We'll build for all to see
[Smolder]
The tree brought us together
[Ocellus, Silverstream, and Gallus]
(Brought us together)
[Smolder]
And even though it's gone
[Ocellus, Silverstream, and Gallus]
(Even though it's gone)
[Gallus]
Our monument of friendship
[Rest of Young Six]
(Of friendship)
[Young Six]
Can make the gift live on
[Ocellus]
A piece from me, a piece from you
[Silverstream]
We'll use the tree and we'll make do
[Gallus]
If things don't fit, there's lots of glue
[Young Six]
Friends don't quit in the end
And together, we'll see this through
[Smolder]
It's hard to say farewell
[Sandbar]
To something you hold dear
[Silversteam, Sandbar, and Ocellus]
But goodbye isn't forever
[Young Six]
As long as we are here
The tree is in our memory (ahh-ahh-ahh)
Its roots have grown deep in our hearts
(Deep in our hearts, deep in our hearts)
Its branches raise our spirits, together we're all bound
Forever it stands, lost but now it's found
[Smolder]
So lift a beam and build it strong
[Silverstream]
Work as a team, it won't take long
[Yona]
Hey, Silverstream, I think that's wrong
[Silverstream, Gallus, and Yona]
We'll live the dream and sing our song
[Young Six]
And make the tree something all can see
In a place where we belong!
Sandbar: Well? What do you think?
Ocellus: It's, uh... kinda messy...
[bat squeaking]
Smolder: Yeah... like a bunch of different parts all smushed together.
Silverstream: Oh, it's just like us!
Yona: Yona think it perfect!
Gallus: Let's give it a try.
[thud]
Young Six: [giggling]
[rumbling]
Sandbar: Whoa! What's happening?!
Ocellus: It looks like magic!
Smolder: Everycreature out!
Young Six: [panicked panting]
[rumbling and creaking]
[crunch]
[creaking]
[shimmering sounds]
Young Six: [gasps] Whoa!
Gallus: How did that happen?
[glow]
Tree of Harmony: Because of you. The spirit of the Treehouse would have perished without your selfless deeds and caring. Whenever you seek solace, come here. Your friendship, and the friendship of future generations, will always be safe within these walls.
[magic zap]
[door opens]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: I felt a burst of magic all the way over at the school! Is everycreature okay?
Silverstream: A little confused, but definitely okay!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Where did this come from?
Smolder: We were kinda gonna ask you the same thing.
Spike: It looks like part of the Tree of Harmony. But how? I thought it was destroyed!
Ocellus: It was. But when we used the broken parts to build something new, this happened.
Twilight Sparkle: The Tree has always been good at surprises. When Star Swirl planted the Tree's seed, he didn't even know what it would grow into. I guess the Tree is still alive, changing and adapting to be whatever Equestria needs.
Gallus: A cool place to hang out?
Twilight Sparkle: Something tells me this is more than that. It seems the Elements of Harmony may still be with us in their own way.
Spike: [sighs] That's actually really reassuring.
Silverstream: But why did the Tree need our help to become something new?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure. If I had to guess, I'd say your friendship is more powerful than you know.
Yona: Oh, Yona know. Yona just need to remind friends.
Spike: So, who's gonna give us the tour?
Young Six: [umm-ing and uhh-ing]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Why don't we all go in together?
Young Six: [laughing]
[credits]

Sparkle's Seven

Spike: Twilight! Look at this scroll I just got!
[fanfare plays]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Do you know what this means?
Spike: Uh-huh!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, I don't. What's so exciting about a toy crown?
Spike: [laughs] This is no "toy crown". It's the hard-won helm of the Sibling Supreme!
Twilight Sparkle: When Shining Armor and I were small, we competed over everything.
[wind blowing]
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] To keep it friendly, our parents gave us gold stars every time we did something special. Sharing... getting good grades... even telling a really funny joke. And at the end of each week, we'd add up the stars. The sibling with the most would win the Crown of the Sibling Supreme — and bragging rights — 'til next time.
Starlight Glimmer: Guess that explains your love of charts and so much else.
Spike: I always wanted to be Sibling Supreme one day. [reading] "Meet me at Celestia's castle to decide who deserves the crown once and for all."
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: Race you there!
[door opening and closing]
Starlight Glimmer: Guess I'll watch the school?
[theme song]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[fanfare]
Twilight Sparkle: You're wearing it?!
Shining Armor: Look, I know you've always held a grudge because I left home with this.
Twilight Sparkle: Grudge? [scoffs] What grudge? Just because you've had it for way longer than you should have and I never got a chance to win it back!
Princess Celestia: With the return of Sombra, Princess Luna and I felt it was time to reinforce the castle's defenses.
Princess Luna: I said we could do it ourselves, but some ponies are a bit stubborn.
Princess Celestia: So I asked our old Captain of the Guard to handle the job.
Shining Armor: I've taken the security here to a whole new level. The only thing I need now is somepony to test it.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] You want me to break into Celestia's castle?
Shining Armor: If you can get past my defenses, steal the crown, and get out, you'll be Sibling Supreme forever!
Twilight Sparkle: For-ev-er...
Shining Armor: But! If you fail, I keep the crown.
Twilight Sparkle: Deal! Wait. Are you sure this counts? Mom and Dad aren't giving us any stars.
Princess Celestia: I will represent their authority. And thank you, Twilight. Your help will reveal if there are any holes in our security.
Princess Luna: [nickers]
Shining Armor: And there aren't. I've designed a multi-tiered, impenetrable, triple-backed-up line of defense.
Shining Armor: [voiceover] The castle is surrounded by shards of Queen Chrysalis' throne. Thanks to Star Swirl, its anti-magic powers are now tuned to stop anycreature from using a spell to get inside. You can't fly in, either.
[fans whirring]
Shining Armor: [voiceover] Giant fans keep anycreature from flying too close to the castle.
[bird squawks]
[bricks clink]
Shining Armor: [voiceover] Plus, the entrances to the tunnels below the castle have been sealed, so there's no underground access. And even if you could get in — which you can't — I've doubled the ranks of security. Ponies protect every hallway and door, which can only be opened with royal guard medals.
Shining Armor: Even if you brought an army, the throne room is the safest spot in Equestria. I rigged a floor trap to activate at the slightest touch.
[ka-chunk!]
Shining Armor: But say you avoid the floor — still no luck, because I've employed nature's alarm system.
[geese honking]
Spike: Geese?
Shining Armor: You can hear their honks all the way in Ponyville.
[goose honks, snaps]
Shining Armor: Plus they bite. [nervous laugh]
[goose honks]
Twilight Sparkle: So that's what we're up against.
Applejack: Whew. That's a barrel and a half of obstacles. Plus a bushel and a peck of impenetrability.
Rarity: And all of this to win some fillyhood competition with your brother?
Twilight Sparkle: It's more then that! Okay, it's exactly that. And to protect Celestia's castle!
Fluttershy: If it means that much to you, Twilight, we're in.
Pinkie Pie: I was already in! Come on, who doesn't want to hang with geese?!
Rainbow Dash: Of course we'll help. But how?
Spike: Shining Armor may have come up with some great security, but he'll never guess Twilight's plan.
Twilight Sparkle: We play to our strengths and defeat all of the security measures. That way, if one of us fails, the others will still have a shot at getting the crown. Pinkie, you'll distract the guards with a surprise party.
Pinkie Pie: Yes, sir, Twilight, sir!
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, you'll buck your way into the sealed tunnels. Rainbow Dash, if anypony can outfly those wind turbines, it's you. Rarity, you'll sew us guard costumes so we can sneak past security. Then Fluttershy will disable the throne room alarm by charming the geese.
Spike: [belches]
[poof!]
Spike: It's from Shining Armor. [reading] "Dear Twily, hope your idea isn't just..." [indistinct muttering] Tunnels? He guessed your whole plan!
Twilight Sparkle: What?! Pinkie party, Rarity costumes... "Signed, the future Sibling Supreme"?! Oh, come on! [grumbles]
Rarity: Twilight, darling, nopony knows you better than your own brother.
Twilight Sparkle: So you're saying I should give up?
Rarity: I'm saying your brother will win. No matter how brilliant your plan is, no matter how many variations you try, it will be something your brother expects, and he'll always win! Unless... when the perfect chance comes along, you do something he can't expect. Then you'll win.
Spike: You've been practicing that speech, haven't you?
Rarity: A little bit. It felt like I rushed. Did I rush it?
Applejack: Absolutely not.
Fluttershy: Oh, no.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, it was fast-ish.
Rarity: We have to do the opposite of what Shining Armor expects. Therefore, Twilight cannot mastermind the plan. But I can!
Applejack: That's... definitely unexpected.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how is you making a break-in plan the opposite of Twilight doing it?
Rarity: Because my plan is for each of us to devise our own unexpected part of it. Allow me to demonstrate.
[magic sounds]
[harp flourish]
[indistinct talking]
[film noir music]
[silence]
Rarity: We're looking for a pony with information.
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: We got questions, and you're gonna serve us up some answers, juice jockey!
Rarity: Where is the secret entrance to the passages under Canterlot Castle?
Server Pony: Shining Armor sealed 'em all. There's no secret entrance.
Rarity: There's always a secret entrance!
Rainbow Dash: So make like a glass of O.J. and spill!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know what I can do!
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] You're gonna need a lookout, so I can be your eye in the sky. [on-screen] Too low, silly! Up here!
[jangle pop music]
Saturn: [laughs] Oh, Pinkie! That tickles! [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What?
Applejack: How about somethin' a little more down-to-earth? Like, I distract the guard ponies with a farewell performance by my alter ego, famous country-western superstar Apple Chord!
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't know you had an alter ego. And why would she be giving a farewell performance?
Applejack: Well, it's a long story.
Applejack: [voiceover] Back on the farm, playin' music was about makin' her family smile. Word of her talent spread, and soon, Apple Chord was playin' real shows.
[crowd cheering]
Applejack: [voiceover] The more she played, the bigger those shows got.
[crowd cheering]
Applejack: [voiceover] But she missed playin' for her family... So one day, she gave it all up. Seein' her family smile was all she ever wanted from her music.
Applejack: Of course, Apple Chord could come out of retirement for a farewell concert this one time.
Rainbow Dash: Wait. Did you just make all that up, or did that actually happen?
Applejack: Um...
Rarity: Doesn't matter. It's perfect. Fluttershy? Spike?
Fluttershy: Well, I guess the opposite of what I'm good at is... [gasps] ...being in small spaces.
Spike: I always wanted to be a super-spy. Is that the opposite of anything?
[metal clanging]
Spike: Special Agent Fluttershy, target detected below.
Fluttershy: It's almost too easy.
[Mission Impossible-esque music]
[laser sounds]
[explosions]
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm. I guess I'm the only one left that still needs a plan.
Rarity: [laughing] Oh, no, darling. That is the plan. You shall do nothing!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Spike: Shining Armor definitely won't expect that.
[music]
[fans whirring]
Shining Armor: Applejack? What are you doing?
Applejack: Applejack? [laughs] Who's that? My name's Apple Chord, and I've got a couple of songs to play for ya. Clap your hooves if you know 'em! And a one, and a two, and a...
My love is like a barrel
A barrel full of hay
[wind blowing]
[hot air activating]
Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts did a fly-by, and the only way past those giant fans and into the castle ducts is here. But there's no room for mistakes!
Pinkie Pie: Just like space travel!
Fluttershy: Uh, Pinkie? We're not actually going into space, right?
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] No, silly! I'm dropping you two off as soon as we're close to the fans! Then I'm going into space!
[thud]
Shining Armor: You're up to something, Twily.
Twilight Sparkle: Nope. Just looking at the flowers. [sniffs, sighs]
Shining Armor: [unconvinced] Right.
Twilight Sparkle: [sniffs] Ooh! Maybe Rarity's plan will work!
Pinkie Pie: Canterlot! We have a problem! [screams]
Applejack: I know that one's a crowd favorite. What say we play it one more time? And a one, and a two, and a—
Pinkie Pie: [screaming]
Applejack: [quietly] A distraction's a distraction.
Twilight Sparkle: Where's Spike and Fluttershy? Did they make it into the castle?
Pinkie Pie: They jumped out right before the balloon went [blows raspberries] but that's all I could see without being in space, where I didn't get to go!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's hope Rarity and Rainbow Dash had better luck.
Rarity: What's this? Closed?!
BeauDe Mane: Oh, the seedy juice joint is always closed around this time.
Rarity: Then how are we meant to shake down ne'er-do-wells for information?!
BeauDe Mane: What sort of information do you need?
Rainbow Dash: Um, the location to a secret entrance to the passages under Canterlot Castle.
BeauDe Mane: You mean that one?
Rarity: Yes, thank you. That will do nicely.
Rainbow Dash: Zephyr Breeze?!
Rarity: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, darling, this couldn't be more perfect!
Rainbow Dash: How is this perfect?! He's the most annoying pony in Equestria, and he's totally obsessed with me, and we have to come up with a way to distract—
[twang! twang!]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no. Oh, no-no, no way! Unh-unh!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
Zephyr Breeze: [slurps] Wha...? Rainbow! I knew you'd come running when you heard I got this job! The mares love a pony in uniform, am I right?
Rainbow Dash: Not really. I mean, eh, totally. Why don't you step into the light so I can see how... ugh... handsome you look in it?
[film noir music]
Rarity: [grunting]
Zephyr Breeze: I told the sarge that gold kinda clashes with my aura, but apparently, they aren't big on input. Still, I totally managed to rock the look, don't you think?
Rainbow Dash: Yep. You're real guard material.
Zephyr Breeze: I'm part of the castle team now, so I'm basically— Whoa! We got a swooner! [seductively] It's good you're finally being honest with your feelings for me, Rainbows.
Rainbow Dash: [gags] Blech.
Zephyr Breeze: The truth is such a gift. Like, I had to follow my bliss to see guarding is my calling. Like, look at me go. I'm gonna walk over here, and I go whoo! Over there! And I go, "Yeah!" and sometimes, I just stand like this and look real cool, and I go down the hallway and go, "Unh, unh, unh, unh, unh!"
[glass scraping]
Spike: [gasps, sighs]
Fluttershy: [hushed] We'll have to glide to the throne. No flapping.
[goose grunts]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
[geese honking]
[trapdoor opening and closing]
[door opens]
Princess Luna: [distant] Sister! Another false alarm from Shining Armor's guard geese!
[door shuts]
Twilight Sparkle: We should have heard by now! Something must have gone wrong!
Pinkie Pie: Probably several somethings. [inhales, blows air]
Twilight Sparkle: No lookout, no distraction, and no word from the ponies inside! I'm starting to think this whole operation might be a giant flop!
[geese honking]
[scratching]
Fluttershy: [hyperventilating] Oh, no!
Spike: Gee, Fluttershy, I thought your whole small spaces thing was just part of the plan to be unexpected.
Fluttershy: Once, I got trapped in the Castle of the Two Sisters, and Angel Bunny and I were separated! Now whenever I'm in a tiny room, it's all I can think about! I was so worried he felt alone and forgotten!
Spike: [sighs] I know that that's like.
Fluttershy: What do you mean?
Spike: I was always excited to be a part of Twilight's and Shining Armor's rivalry, like I was their little brother. But they never really thought of me that way.
Fluttershy: I know they both have a special place in their heart for you, but sibling dynamics are hard. Trust me.
Spike: Right. Zephyr Breeze.
Fluttershy: Honestly, he could learn a lot from you about being a little brother.
[rumbling]
Rarity: I am sick of being lost in these slimy corridors, too! But you shouldn't pull every lever you come across! Half of them are traps!
Rainbow Dash: And the other half might open a secret passage to the castle!
Rarity: It's not worth the risk! Oh, hello, Spike. [to Rainbow Dash] Even if we did find our way back to the castle, we'd still have all of those guar— Spike? Fluttershy?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, what are you guys doing down here?
Spike: We, uh, kind of fell through the floor.
Fluttershy: I don't think our plan is working.
Rarity: We've both hit dead ends. Perhaps we should return to the outside and reevaluate.
[mice squeaking]
Rarity: Eugh!
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating]
Spike: Psssssst!
[metal squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: What are you all doing out here?
Rarity: In retrospect, our plan might have been too unexpected.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Every part of it failed?! Oh, now I'll never get the crown!
Spike: Maybe we should go back to doing things the Twilight way.
Twilight Sparkle: You mean the totally expected way?
Spike: It may not be a surprise, but you have a pretty good record for planning things.
Twilight Sparkle: Then I guess it's worth a try. Thanks, Spike.
Spike: What are little brothers for?
Twilight Sparkle: Okay! You all know what to do!
[music]
[balloon inflating]
[pop!]
[slide whistle]
[guards chattering]
Rarity: At least one part of our expected plan worked unexpectedly.
[door opens]
[whooshing]
Zephyr Breeze: To be fair, it was never made specifically clear to me what "guarding" actually means, so this is on you.
Applejack: I'm strong, Twilight, but not even I can buck through solid rock.
Twilight Sparkle: That's why I brought a specialist.
[tapping]
[chalk drawing]
[joints cracking]
[crunch]
Rarity: [deep voice] Next shift. You're on break.
[whoosh]
[thud]
[door opens]
[geese honking]
Fluttershy: You've been glaring so hard. Who wants a feather massage?
[gesse quiet]
Spike: We mapped this out when we got lost down here. The lever to the secret hallway entrance should be... here.
[click]
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe this worked!
Spike: I guess sometimes the best plan is the one you expect!
Twilight Sparkle: All I have to do now is fly over and take the crown, and I'll be Sibling Supreme forever!
Shining Armor: Not exactly.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, come on!
Shining Armor: Gotta admit, it was unexpected for you to do everything exactly how I thought you would. But you should know by now there's no way to beat the true Sibling Surpreme!
Princess Celestia: I am sorry, Twilight, but it looks as though Shining Armor has truly won the crown.
Spike: That's the thing about looks. They can be deceiving.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?!
Shining Armor: How in Equestria did you do it?!
Spike: Come on. You two don't think you have the only sibling rivalry. I had an inside pony help.
[dramatic music sting]
Spike: It wasn't hard to miss there were some disagreements on the whole security thing.
Princess Luna: [flashback] I said we could do it ourselves, but some ponies are a bit more stubborn.
Spike: [voiceover] So, while Shining Armor went on and on about his improved security measures, Luna and I struck a deal. She put Zephyr in charge of the catacombs and helped keep Celestia out of the castle hallways. Once Luna was on board, I just had to do my part and make sure we stuck to Twilight's plan so we'd all get to the throne room at the same time. I knew Shining Armor would let it play out until the last possible second. Then, while everyone was distracted by his gloating, all Luna had to do was float the crown over to me.
[beat]
Princess Celestia: [clears throat] [forced] I, uh, apologize, for not listening to your concerns, sister. It seems we need to make adjustments to account for threats inside the castle as well as out. If you agree?
Princess Luna: [forced] If you think it's worth discussing.
Rainbow Dash: So, if Twilight and Shining Armor failed, who gets the crown?
Spike: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: The true Sibling Supreme. Spike.
Spike: Huh?
Shining Armor: The little brother we've always had.
Mane Six: Awww...
[heist music over credits]

The Point of No Return

[zoom]
Spike: Whoa!
[thud!]
Spike: Twilight, mail's here!
[doors opening]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you all right?
Derpy: We just had a really heavy delivery today.
Spike: Is it a deluxe set of special edition Ogres & Oubliettes figurines that I'm totally surprised by and have been hinting that I need forever?
Derpy: Well, it's for Twilight.
Spike: Awww...
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you.
Derpy: You're welcome!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. It's from Princess Celestia.
Spike: [belches] So is this. Really? She couldn't have put it into the box?
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "My dearest Twilight, I have been conducting a thorough cleaning of the castle, and I came across a few items of yours in your old room. I thought you might want them back." I didn't even know I'd left anything! Awww, look! Remember this? It's the macaroni picture frame Cadance helped me make when I was a filly!
Spike: [quietly, sarcastic] Who could forget a masterpiece like that?
Twilight Sparkle: My G1 Star Swirl figure! And some of my favorite school scrolls! And here's my extra extra credit report on "The Impediments of Using Magic in Everyday Chores"! Ha! Still so true!
Spike: Is my Smash Fortune comic in there? I've been looking for that for years. Whoa, whoa!
[thud]
Spike: [muffled] Or this.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Spike: What's wrong? It just looks like an old library book.
Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! It belongs to the Canterlot Library! That means it's... overdue!
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: You don't understand, Spike! I have a perfect library book return record!
Spike: [clears throat] Had a perfect record.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] I've never turned in a book even a minute late! And this one has been overdue since I left for Ponyville!
[stamping]
Dusty Pages: Make sure you bring this one back on time. We've got a long waiting list of ponies who can't wait to read it.
Twilight Sparkle: I promise I won't let you down!
Dusty Pages: Oh, of course, you won't, dear. If there's anypony I can trust to take care of a book, it's you, Twilight Sparkle. After all, you still hold the "Best Book Borrower" title.
Twilight Sparkle: Oooh! I hope I do forever!
Twilight Sparkle: Spi-ike! Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. What's that for?
Spike: Well, it was a gift for Moon Dancer, but...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing.
Twilight Sparkle: And then Celestia sent me to Ponyville, and I forgot all about this! Dusty Pages prided herself that no books were damaged or lost on her watch, and I failed her! I failed myself!
Spike: I take it we're going to Canterlot?
[zip!]
Spike: [groans] The sooner, the better, I guess.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[leaves rustling]
Spike: Uh, why are we hiding? Don't you wanna return your book?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes. But what if somepony sees me in there? I'm the Princess of Friendship. Everywhere I go, ponies recognize me. I'll stick out like a sore hoof.
Spike: [incredulously] Princess Twilight Sparkle in a library? Stop the presses!
Twilight Sparkle: A late book is a big deal, Spike. What if Dusty Pages revokes my library card? Or bans me from ever entering the building again?!
Spike: Don't you already have most of those books in your collection at home?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but the ones in there have a special Canterlot Library-y smell!
Spike: You sniff books?
Twilight Sparkle: You don't? I used to live in a library. If I'm not a good example of proper book borrowing behavior, then what kind of princess am I?
Spike: One that makes mistakes like everypony else. Trust me. Once you return that book, you'll feel way better.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike. Let's go! [screams, giggles nervously]
Spike: [groans]
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, clears throat, deep voice] I have a book to return.
Librarian Pony: Princess Twilight! So good to see you!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Librarian Pony: Need some recommendations from the new release section?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Is that the new edition of Mooncurve's Seven Theories on Bending Time? I have been waiting for the release sin— Uh, I mean, uh, no books today! [chuckles] Thanks!
[ponies gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: But I do need to speak with Dusty Pages about a... [clears throat] sensitive matter.
Librarian Pony: Dusty who?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh] Dusty Pages? The head librarian? She's worked here forever.
Librarian Pony: I'm sorry, princess. I don't know her. Now, was there some other way I can help the library's Best Book Borrower?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous giggle]
Spike: [hushed] Just ask where to return an overdue book! It's no big deal! It happens all the time!
Twilight Sparkle: [hushed] Not to me it doesn't! [sighs] Fine. Fine! Oh, no! I didn't even think about the late fine! A book out this long will probably cost a thousand bits!
Spike: She— I mean, we have an overdue book.
Librarian Pony: [laughs] Well, that's no problem at all. In fact, it happens all the time.
Spike: See?
Librarian Pony: I'll just find it in the card catalog. Uh, number one-eight-nine-oh-five, got it! [laughs] Oh, wow. Yeesh. I haven't seen a book this late in... well, ever. [clears throat] You need to go and see First Folio in the Grossly Overdue Book Return Office for Ponies Who Should Know Better.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't pull any punches with those names, do you?
Spike: And that office would be...?
Librarian Pony: In the basement. [whispering] Because of the shame.
[thud]
Spike: Whoa. [strains] Looks like nopony ever goes down here.
Twilight Sparkle: Nopony except undependable rule-breakers who deserve all the horrors this hallway holds!
Spike: And faithful dragon companions. Uh... hey! It looks like First Folio left a note on the door!
Twilight Sparkle: "Abandon hope, all ye who enter"?
Spike: [reading] "Out to lunch on Restaurant Row." Guess we'll have to try back later!
Twilight Sparkle: No! I can't wait another minute to return this book! In the time it took us to get there, I racked up another... seventeen bits in late fees! We're going to lunch!
Spike: Good, 'cause I'm starving! [licks lips]
[beat]
Spike: Oh. You mean to find First Folio. Can we at least get takeout?!
Twilight Sparkle: Tell me if you see any librarian-type ponies.
Spike: Twilight, we tried this at three other restaurants already!
Twilight Sparkle: And my late fines are already up another twenty-six more bits!
Spike: [mock-sobbing]
Pretzel: Waiter, we're ready to order.
Spike: Oh, uh, I'm not actually—
Pretzel: Three samosas, two curry specials... Do you think that's enough for the two of us?
Spike: Hm. Well, I would probably order some naan as well. For the table?
Pretzel: Sounds great.
Moon Dancer: Twilight? Is that you?
Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer! How've you been? I'm just visiting. No real reason. Heh.
Moon Dancer: Well, it's good to see you! I'm just meeting my friend, First Folio, for lunch. Do you want to join us?
Twilight Sparkle: First Folio?! Yes! I mean, thank you.
First Folio: Princess Twilight, good to meet you! Did you know your picture is still up in our library as the Best Book Borrower?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah... I was hoping I could talk to Dusty Pages about that.
Moon Dancer: Oh, Dusty Pages left the library moons ago. Didn't you know?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm.
First Folio: Oh, I heard she was forced to leave. It's so sad. She loved the library.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Forced to leave?
First Folio: Yuh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. She had a perfect librarian record. Until one careless pony didn't return a book, ruined it all.
Moon Dancer: Are you okay, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervously] Uh-huh. Would, uh, you excuse me?
[whoosh]
[spinning]
Spike: That's why you only order spicy if you can take it. Twilight, what's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages isn't working at the library any more because I didn't return this book! Spike, I think I got her fired!
[brake skids]
Spike: Twilight, the library is that way!
Twilight Sparkle: Change of plans. We're going to Dusty's house. She used to invite me over for tea all the time.
Spike: But what about your late fees?
Twilight Sparkle: They're not as important as making things right.
Spike: Wait. So you're not going to return the book?
Twilight Sparkle: No. Dusty Pages is. It's my fault she lost her job. So if I give her the book, she can get her old job back. It'll fix everything! [sighs]
[knocking]
[door opens]
Meathead Pony: Didn't you see the sign? No salesponies!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not selling anything.
Meathead Pony: No carolers either. No surveys, no petitions, no free literature...
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: No problem. I'm just looking for somepony who used to live here. I'm pretty sure this was her house.
Meathead Pony: Dusty Pages?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!
Meathead Pony: Hold on. She moved to... Silver somethin'. Shoals, Seas, Surfer, whatever. When you find her, give her this.
[thud]
Meathead Pony: It's been stackin' up for years! And tell her to change her address!
[door slams]
[montage music]
[knocking]
[squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Silver Stable Community: For the best golden years." This has to be it!
Spike: I hope so. It's the last "Silver" spot on the map we haven't looked.
[door opens]
Spike: [straining] [gasps] Whoa! This place is—
Twilight Sparkle: Terrible, I know! There's not a single bookshelf in sight!
Sand Trap: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: Poor Dusty... [to receptionist] Excuse me!
"Teddie Safari": Yes, how may I help you?
Twilight Sparkle: Do you have a resident named Dusty Pages?
"Teddie Safari": Oh, yes. Her apartment is in the next complex, ground floor.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe that my carelessness sent her here, when she could be happily surrounded by millions of wonderful-smelling books!
Spike: You realize that might just be a you thing, right?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] There she is! Here we go. [exhales]
[knocking]
[long pause]
[watch ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Spike: She's bound to be back soon. Maybe we should just wait here.
Twilight Sparkle: No. We are fixing this now. This place isn't that big. We can find her.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry to interrupt your plein air painting, but we're looking for Dusty Pages. Have you seen her?
Apple Rose: Sure have!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] And...?
Apple Rose: She had to leave early to get to her fengbi de ti session.
Old Stallion: Which is right before she leads the woodworking class with me. Then she's on to windsurfing.
Apple Rose: Ooh, and don't forget theatre rehearsal! Dusty's playing the lead role. Again.
Old Stallion: Then there's her band practice later.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
Spike: Wow. Dusty sounds like one busy pony.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's just filling her days with distractions to cover the pain of losing the best job ever! But not for long!
[montage music]
[gate swinging]
[teleportation zap]
[hammer tapping]
[door shuts and opens]
[splash]
[more splashes]
[door opens]
[door opens]
[band playing music]
Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages, finally! Come on, Spike!
Spike: Wait. She looks pretty happy up there.
Twilight Sparkle: Trust me, it's all an act. She'll be a lot happier when I deliver the news that she can go back to working at the library!
[music abruptly stops]
Twilight Sparkle: Care to take five, everypony?
Dusty Pages: Ah! Twilight Sparkle?! My stars! It's so wonderful to see you! What are you doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: I've been looking all over Equestria for you!
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: I need to tell you something.
Dusty Pages: Well, you brought my mail! Oh, thank you! [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: No. I mean, yes, we did, but that's not why we're here. I let you down, and I can't forgive myself until I set things right.
Dusty Pages: I don't remember you doing anything wrong.
Twilight Sparkle: You told me to take care of a special book I checked out from the Canterlot Library, and I never brought it back!
Dusty Pages: [gasps] It was you that had that book out? The one that broke my perfect record?
Twilight Sparkle: But now you can bring it to Canterlot Library and get your job back!
Dusty Pages: No, thank you! I don't ever need to see that library again! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.
[band playing music]
Spike: [snapping fingers]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you mind?
[music pauses, continues softly]
Spike: [slurping]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. If Dusty Pages won't go back to Canterlot Library and explain everything, then she won't be able to get her job back. Even worse, her record will remain imperfect!
Spike: And yours will, too?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah! But that doesn't matter any more!
Spike: [dryly] Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe a little bit. Oh, no, bits! The late fines! How much do I owe now?!
[abacus clicking]
Spike: Uhhh... you don't wanna know.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] It would've been worth all the bits in Equestria if I had made things right with Dusty! I wish I knew why she won't go back!
Spike: Why don't you ask her?
Twilight Sparkle: She didn't seem to want to talk.
Spike: You surprised her, and she probably had something else on her schedule. That thing is packed! Come on. What have you got to lose?
Twilight Sparkle: Now that I've messed up this much? Nothing. You're right, Spike. It's worth a try. Where do you think she went? Crochet? Bingo?
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: A squishy fruit food-fight tournament?!
[splats]
Spike: Hey, everypony! We come in—
[splat]
Spike: Eh, pieces.
[splats]
[teleportation zap]
[splats]
Twilight Sparkle: Stop! We just want to talk to Dusty Pages for a moment! Please?
Dusty Pages: Time out! [to Twilight] Next time, you should rent gear.
Spike: We're not actually here for the game.
Twilight Sparkle: I was hoping you'd give me another chance to talk to you about the library book.
Dusty Pages: [sighs] This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. I know I ruined your life by not returning my book on time, and I will do anything I can to make it up to you. Even promise to never take a book out of a library again, if that's what it takes.
[ponies gasp]
Dusty Pages: [laughs]
Spike: That is not the reaction we expected.
Dusty Pages: Twilight, dear, you've got it all backwards! I'm not upset with you!
Twilight Sparkle: You're not?
Dusty Pages: No! If I'm mad at anypony, it's me.
[tapping]
Dusty Pages: All those years I spent hiding away in that library, trying to be perfect. When your book never came in, I felt something exhilarating!
Twilight Sparkle: What was it?
Dusty Pages: Freedom.
Spike: From books?
Dusty Pages: From perfection! I was too stubborn to know when to call it quits! It took your mistake to make me realize that I wasn't living the life I wanted!
Twilight Sparkle: You mean you weren't fired? You left the library because you wanted to?
Dusty Pages: Twilight, your late book was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I'm not afraid to try things I might fail at. In fact, sometimes messing up teaches me more than getting it right!
Twilight Sparkle: You're sure you don't want to return it and get that perfect record back?
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: [strangled scream]
Dusty Pages: Ah, good. It was a yellow one. You can still see the words.
Twilight Sparkle: But it'll have a stain!
Dusty Pages: That doesn't change the truth inside it. Wait. Did you even read that thing?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, uh, no, I guess I didn't.
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Perfection".
Dusty Pages: And the next part?
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "The Impossible Pursuit".
Spike and Dusty Pages: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That might've been useful to look at earlier.
First Folio: Uh-huh... Your total late fees come to...
Twilight Sparkle: However much it is, I'll cover it. Uh, do you have a monthly payment plan?
First Folio: Twenty-eight bits.
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasps]
Spike: That's it?!
First Folio: Yah-huh. Most ponies don't know that it caps at a month. Probably 'cause we don't tell them. [snorts]
[bits clinking]
First Folio: Thank you. Your account is back to normal. Although we will be taking down your Best Book Borrower picture.
Twilight Sparkle: Um, is that really necessary? Heh. It just seems so permanent. Heh. I mean, I did return the book, after all.
Spike: [clears throat]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Letting the perfection go. [sighs] You want me to reshelve this for you?
First Folio: No, it's an old edition. We've already replaced it with a new copy.
Spike: In that case, can we keep it? It might be a good reminder to have around.
First Folio: You sure? It's got a stain.
Twilight Sparkle: That's what makes it perfect.
[credits]

Common Ground

Announcer: Highlights in the world of sports! Buckball fever has swept Equestria! What started as a backyard hobby for fruit farmers and the like has blossomed into a literal phenomenon, with something for everypony. Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies alike can't get enough of this breakthrough sport.
[fans cheering]
Announcer: And with its popularity still on the rise, buckball fans want—nay, demand—an institution catering to their new obsession. And the ponies of Appleloosa answered the call, delivering a state-of-the-art locale where fans Equestria over can celebrate their passion: the Buckball Hall of Fame. Though given the game's recent nature, the only inductees so far will be the members of the current championship team from Ponyville.
Pinkie Pie: [whispering loudly] Do you think they know we're here?
Rainbow Dash: I think they have a pretty good idea.
Snails: A pretty good idea about what? [chomps]
[theme song]
Fluttershy: I can't believe the ponies of Appleloosa built this place.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, especially after their team lost to us. They must really love buckball.
Fan: [chuckles] Oh, my gosh! It's you! I can't believe you're you! I mean, here! I mean, Team Ponyville! Yeah!
Snails: Yep, it's us.
Fan: How much for an autograph?
Snips: Bits for autographs, eh?
[cha-ching!]
Snips: [whispering] Snails, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Snails: What is the sound of one hoof clapping?
Snips: Yeah! I mean, uh, no! How many of you would pay for an autograph from my best friend Snails?
[ponies clamoring]
Male Pony: I can't believe I'm about to get his autograph.
Snails: Wow! That's a lot of writing.
Fluttershy: I'm so proud they decided to honor us. I never thought I'd get to be in anything like a Hall of Fame.
Pinkie Pie: Me, neither! Unless you count a Royal Order of Party Planners Memorial Library, which I don't, because every party planner gets one of those eventually.
[hooves clack]
[clamoring continues]
[bits jingling]
Fluttershy: I hope Snails finishes signing autographs soon. We can't play without him. And if we lose or forfeit one game, we'll be out of the tournament.
Rainbow Dash: Well, he better get his flank over here then! You have to win the first few games without me cheering you on.
Fluttershy: Oh, why?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Applejack was too busy to come, so she made me promise to go to all the museum exhibits and tell her about them. I'm gonna try to get in first and beat the crowd so I can get back to the tournament faster.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Then you'd better hurry. Looks like there's already a line.
Rainbow Dash: What?! [grunts] The doors aren't even open yet! What kind of sports fan camps out for a museum?
Quibble Pants: The real question is what kind of sports fan doesn't?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Quibble Pants?
Quibble Pants: Rainbow Dash, fancy meeting you here.
Rainbow Dash: Fancy meeting me? I'm a sportspony. Of course I'd be here. What's fancy is you being here. If "fancy" meant confusing.
Quibble Pants: There's nothing fancy or confusing about it. Y-You can't keep me away from that... that buckball rink. I'm... I'm the biggest fan there is.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, it's a buckball field. And you are?
Quibble Pants: Oh... sure. What w-with all th-the bucking and the balling, uh, uh, on the buckball field, w-which is where they play buckball. I-I-I wanted to be first inside to experience the grand history of the sport. I-I mean, I guess only a real fan would understand that.
Rainbow Dash: Whaaaa...?
Quibble Pants: Oh, perfect timing. Rainbow Dash, I'd like you to meet Clear Sky, the most amazing pony I've ever met.
Rainbow Dash: Um, you've met Daring Do, so that's probably an exaggeration. [to Clear Sky] No offense.
Clear Sky: None taken. When it comes to describing your special somepony, a little exaggeration's normal. [to Quibble] And I feel the same way about you.
Rainbow Dash: And who is this?
Clear Sky: This is my daughter Wind Sprint.
Quibble Pants: And she is pretty amazing, too!
Clear Sky: Wind, did you thank Quibble for camping out so we'd be first in line?
Wind Sprint: [unenthusiastic] Thanks.
Quibble Pants: No problem. I-I-I probably would have done it anyway. I mean, I... I can't wait to see the... [reading from a brochure] "evolution of the buck basket from farm to field"! That... That sounds just, I mean, oh, wow! There... There is a lot to see!
[crowd cheering]
Wind Sprint: I'd rather see the game.
Quibble Pants: Oh. Well, I... I mean, sure. T-T-That makes sense. We could just go to the tournament instead.
Clear Sky: No! Quibble planned this whole thing for us, and you could be a little more appreciative!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] I kind of wanted to skip the museum, too. But I promised a friend that I'd check out all the exhibits.
Wind Sprint: Ugh! All of them?
Quibble Pants: You, know, I-I'd like a chance to catch up with Rainbow Dash. Why don't we split up? We'll... We'll cover more ground that way, and...
Rainbow Dash: So... you and Clear Sky, huh?
Quibble Pants: Oh, yeah, she's great. Honestly, I've never been happier... [panicked] Which is why I need your help! I don't know what any of this stuff is!
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean?
Quibble Pants: See this? I-I don't know what it is.
Rainbow Dash: A ball?
Quibble Pants: W— And this? I-I— No idea!
Rainbow Dash: It's a basket. How do you not know what these are?
Quibble Pants: I'm not even a hundred percent sure what bucking is. I literally know nothing about buckball or any other sport!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I figured you weren't the sportiest pony in Equestria.
Quibble Pants: But Wind Sprint is, and her dad was some big athlete, too. I-I can't compete with that. I really want things with Clear Sky to work out, but if Wind doesn't like me, I-I might as well give up.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, why?
Quibble Pants: They're a family. Even if it's okay with Clear Sky, I wouldn't ask them to make me a part of it if Wind Sprint isn't on board. I thought if I could convince Wind I was a big buckball fan, we'd have something to bond over, but I'm... I'm pretty sure she's on to me.
Rainbow Dash: Here.
Quibble Pants: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: Give it a shot. It's easy.
Quibble Pants: Aah! Aah! Oof!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I don't think she's fooled.
Quibble Pants: Could... Could you talk to her? I-I mean, you're a famous sportspony. Y-You'd know what to say. Maybe you could talk me up a little.
Rainbow Dash: Ha! No problem. I've totally got your flank.
Quibble Pants: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: [to Wind Sprint] Trust me, the game's a lot harder to play with apples.
Wind Sprint: You play?
Rainbow Dash: Who do you think taught them? Of course, being a Wonderbolt takes up most of my time, so I don't get to practice as much as I'd like.
Wind Sprint: Wait. You're Rainbow Dash? The Wonderbolt? Whoa, my dad was a great flyer, too.
Rainbow Dash: Hmm, you don't say. You know, Quibble's pretty sporty, too.
Clear Sky: [groans]
Quibble Pants: [grunts]
[thud]
Wind Sprint: [unconvinced] If you say so.
Rainbow Dash: I think I've seen enough of this museum for three Applejacks. Let's go watch some buckball!
Quibble Pants: That sounds awesome! Oh, but first, I got you [singsongy] a little surprise.
Wind Sprint: [unimpressed] Oh. A book.
[thud]
Quibble Pants: Oh, not just a book. It's a buckball almanac. This thing has every buckball fact and statistic ever recorded!
Wind Sprint: [sarcastic] Wow.
Quibble Pants: I know! I never realized there was so much math in buckball. I-I mean, this game's got more numbers than Ogres & Oubliettes. [laughs, snorts]
Wind Sprint: Thanks?
Quibble Pants: I-I-I guess I could hold it for you. You know, so you don't have to carry it.
Wind Sprint: Can we go to the game now?
Clear Sky: Sure, honey. Listen, Q, this trip was a lovely idea, and the book was sweet, but you don't have to try so hard. Everything's gonna be fine. [kisses]
Quibble Pants: Not even my presents are in the ball court.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, do you mean "ball park"?
Quibble Pants: Do I?! I don't know! One thing's for sure: Wind is never gonna like a pony like me.
Rainbow Dash: Of course she will. She just needs to see your sporty side.
Quibble Pants: I don't have a sporty side.
Rainbow Dash: Everypony has a sporty side, and we're gonna find yours. By the end of the day, I am gonna turn you into the sportiest pony in Equestria!
Quibble Pants: Look, I'm not saying it's a terrible idea, but it's a terrible idea! You can't turn me into an athlete! It's impossible!
Rainbow Dash: It's either that or be yourself and bond with Wind over comic books and role-playing games.
Wind Sprint: Ooh! Ah! [laughs]
Quibble Pants: Uh, I have a 17 charisma, all right? Don't you think I tried? She doesn't even like Daring Do. She thinks she's not athletic enough.
Rainbow Dash: What?! Wow. We need to get started on "Operation: Sportify" ASAP.
Rainbow Dash: To figure out what your sporty side is, we just need to see what your skills are. Everypony's got something. Speed!
[zooming]
Rainbow Dash: Strength!
Quibble Pants: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Agility! Heh. Of course, some ponies can do it all.
Quibble Pants: You're amazing, but what about me?
Rainbow Dash: Right. We should probably start small. I'll pass the ball to you, and you just pass it back to me, okay?
Quibble Pants: Okay. Uh-huh.
[music builds up]
Quibble Pants: And... buckball!
[thud]
Quibble Pants: Ow.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. Maybe agility's not your thing.
Rainbow Dash: Ready?
Quibble Pants: If I say no, do I still have to run?
Rainbow Dash: Yep.
Snips: Can we get on with this? Snails and I did so well with the autographs, we decided to expand. And these souvenirs are not going to sell themselves!
Rainbow Dash: Remember, think speed.
Quibble Pants: Got it.
Rainbow Dash: On your marks, get set...
Quibble Pants: Speed. Speed.
Rainbow Dash: Go! [blows whistle]
Quibble Pants: Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Whew! [laughs] Okay! What a race, right? Oh. So much for speed.
Snips: Eh, this was fun, but I've gotta get back to work.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Quibble. You got this!
Quibble Pants: [strained voice] I... got... this! I... Ugh! This is hopeless. I... I don't have any skills. Not agility, not speed. I-I can't even lift more than one book, and I love books!
Rainbow Dash: If we had time to train, I know I could mold you into the perfect sportspony. [groans] Or at least a sportier pony.
Quibble Pants: Who knows how long that would take? I-I need to get Wind to like me now.
[crowd cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Maybe you're not the best athlete in Equestria, or the most coordinated, or the fastest, or... even a little bit strong.
Quibble Pants: I-I'm sorry, wait. Is this supposed to be making me feel better? Because it's not.
Rainbow Dash: But none of that matters because I just figured out how to sportify you!
[action theme]
[whistle blows]
[crowd cheering]
Game Announcer: And with that score, the stars of Team Ponyville advance to the next round. If they keep winning like this, they'll never get off the field.
Wind Sprint: Wow! The players from Ponyville are so good!
Quibble Pants: They sure are.
Clear Sky: Quibble, where have you been? I was hoping we'd all watch the tournament together.
Quibble Pants: Oh, I've just been arranging for us to hang out with a few of my close friends. From Team Ponyville. That is, if Wind's up for it.
Clear Sky: This is wonderful, Q, but I still feel like you're trying too hard to get Wind's approval.
Wind Sprint: This is so great! Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are the best players out there!
Rainbow Dash: Well, you can thank Quibble. Wonderbolts, buckball stars... He's friends with the sportiest ponies around, so he must be pretty sporty, too, right?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, so this is Quibble Pants. Rainbow Dash told us all about how you two spent a whole Daring Do convention geeking out together about books!
Fluttershy: And even though at first she thought you were the most annoying fanpony she ever met, you two eventually became friends.
Quibble Pants: Uh...
Clear Sky: I guess even sportsponies agree. Quibble's a pony you like more and more over time.
Wind Sprint: Ugh. Knowing sportsponies isn't the same as being one. [to Fluttershy and Pinkie] What's it like playing in front of all those fans?
Fluttershy: Um...
Rainbow Dash: I guess you'll find out.
Wind Sprint: What do you mean?
Quibble Pants: Yes, what do you mean?
Rainbow Dash: I think it's time we told Wind about your next surprise.
Clear Sky: Q, Wind really doesn't need any more surprises.
Wind Sprint: Is it another book?
Rainbow Dash: A – books are awesome. And B – this is way more awesomer than that! For the tournament halftime show, you and Quibble are gonna play a game of buckball against Team Ponyville!
Quibble Pants: We're what?!
[distant crowd cheering]
[whoosh, thud]
[whirring, thuds]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you should probably stretch.
Quibble Pants: No amount of stretching is gonna make this okay! What were you thinking?!
Rainbow Dash: Look, you wanted to impress Wind Sprint, and this just made sense.
Quibble Pants: Really? How does me making a fool of myself in front of her, Sky, and a billion buckball fans make sense?
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, I've got your flank. I already talked to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. They're totally gonna make you look good.
Quibble Pants: Oh. Okay, well, maybe this isn't the absolute worst idea ever.
Game Announcer: Mares and stallions, foals and colts! Put your hooves together for today's halftime presentation, as buckball's biggest stars take on a team of fans just like you!
[crowd cheering]
Referee: [blows whistle]
[whoosh]
[thud]
[crowd cheers]
Game Announcer: And that's one for the Ponyville champs! Looks like these fans don't know what they signed up for!
Referee: [blows whistle]
[whooshing]
Fluttershy: [flatly] Oh, no. Quibble's wide open, and I'll never get there in time to block.
[whoosh]
[slow motion noise]
[crowd awwws]
Game Announcer: Ooh! Looks like our fan team needs to work on their passing!
Referee: [blows whistle]
[whooshing]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Hee-hee!
[crack]
[smack]
[thud]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Game Announcer: And the fan team finally scores! ...For the other side. That makes three! Team Ponyville wins!
[smack]
[thud]
Quibble Pants: It says very clearly on page six-forty-seven of the expanded buckball tournament rules that "a goal is scored when an Earth pony sends the ball into a basket". But it doesn't say which basket!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm pretty sure everypony knows you're not supposed to score in the other team's goal.
Quibble Pants: But the rules don't say that! If that goal is ours, it's only two-to-one, and we can keep playing.
Wind Sprint: I don't want to! You're not a sportspony! It's not fun playing this game with you!
Quibble Pants: I was just... trying to get her to like me.
Clear Sky: I know! But I told you you didn't need to. You and I have to rethink all of this.
Quibble Pants: [whimpers, sighs]
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing out here?
Quibble Pants: Apparently this book is as close to sports as I'll ever get.
Rainbow Dash: Come on. That goal you scored for the other team was amazing.
Quibble Pants: [sighs] Thanks for trying, Rainbow Dash, but I think we can both agree the whole sportify idea was a big flop.
[thump]
Rainbow Dash: What?! We haven't even gotten started! I've got, like, seven more top-notch ideas to turn you into a super-sporty pony!
Quibble Pants: [sighs] Wind's already made up her mind, and so have I. Time to throw up the towel.
Rainbow Dash: It's "throw in the towel". And that's ridiculous! You can't just give up!
Quibble Pants: Wind and Sky deserve a pony they both like in their lives. Besides, Sky wants to "rethink things", so I'm just beating her to the lunch.
Rainbow Dash: It's "beating her to the punch", and it's barely a sports reference. How do you not know that?
Quibble Pants: Because... I! Don't! Know! Anything! About! Sports! And pretending I did just made things worse.
Rainbow Dash: So you should stop pretending! Look, you are terrible at sports. You're uncoordinated, slow, weak—
Quibble Pants: Okay, again, not really making me feel better.
Rainbow Dash: And you're completely clueless about anything having to do with athletics. But maybe I'm not the pony you should've come to for help.
Quibble Pants: Oh.
Wind Sprint: I wish we didn't even come here.
Clear Sky: Quibble thought you'd like it.
Wind Sprint: Well, I don't, and I don't like him. Why do you like him?
Clear Sky: Because he's kind, and smart, and his friends certainly seem to care about him, which is always a good sign.
Wind Sprint: I don't care how many ponies care about him. They're not gonna make me forget about Dad.
Clear Sky: Oh, sweetheart. I know Quibble's trying too hard, but he doesn't want you to stop loving your dad. He just wants you to like him. And I think maybe there's enough room in your heart to do both.
Quibble Pants: Hey, there. Glad I found you, because I have a confession to make. I know it's hard to imagine, but I'm... really not all that sporty.
Clear Sky: [mock horror] [gasps] No!
Quibble Pants: I'm sorry I was trying so hard to convince you otherwise. I just really wanted us to get along, but I guess it backfired. Do you think we could start over? Maybe we could watch some of the tournament together, and you could teach me some sports stuff?
[whoosh, thud]
[crowd cheering]
Wind Sprint: Okay. That's their ball.
Quibble Pants: I'll try to remember that if I ever decide to play buckball again. But I probably won't. Oh, look. Pinkie Pie's gonna flip and triple bounce the ball into the goal.
[springing]
[thud]
[crowd cheers]
Wind Sprint: How did you know that?
Quibble Pants: It's right here. Pinkie flips and triple-bounce bucks over eighty percent of her shots from the northwest section of the field when the wind is blowing from the east.
Wind Sprint: Huh. I guess this book's kind of cool after all.
Clear Sky: [slurping]
Quibble Pants: Look, Sky, I know you're thinking of calling it quits between us, and after today, I don't blame you. But Wind and I just made a connection!
Clear Sky: Calling it quits? What are you talking about?
Quibble Pants: You said you wanted to rethink things.
Clear Sky: Yeah! Things like having your friend help you pretend to be a sportspony so Wind would like you.
Quibble Pants: Wha— I-I don't— I— Oh! I-I didn't... What?!
Rainbow Dash: Say wha—? [nervous laugh] Wha...?! Hah! Nah!
Wind Sprint: Mom, look what Quibble showed me! [reading] "When Fluttershy flies higher than the other Pegasus, Pinkie scores ninety-two percent of the time," and it just happened!
Clear Sky: Wow! You better watch out, or you're gonna start to like books.
Wind Sprint: I guess that wouldn't be so bad.
Clear Sky: Huh. Looks like you didn't need sportiness, famous ponies, or lavish gifts to bond with Wind after all.
Rainbow Dash: Technically, he still needed to buy her the book, but that's it.
Quibble Pants, Clear Sky, and Wind Sprint: [laughing]
[credits]

She's All Yak

Silverstream: [gasps] See?! New posters! We never had those underwater!
Young Six: [excited chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: I won't keep you in suspense any longer. We're bringing one of Ponyville's oldest traditions to our school – the Fetlock Fete.
Smolder: The what-lock what?
Sandbar: It's a pony dance party! They're the best!
Ocellus: I'm ready!
[transformation noise]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] You don't need to do that, Ocellus. This year, the event's at school and open to everycreature. We're calling our dance the Amity Ball.
Ocellus: Even better!
[transformation noise]
Yona: Yona not know Amity Ball dance. Yona only know traditional dance of Yakyakistan. Go like this! [grunting]
[loud thumping]
Yona: Ball dance like that?
[thud]
Sandbar: [laughs] Not exactly. It isn't just one dance. It's a whole night of them. Plus an awesome party!
Twilight Sparkle: And we'll have all the old Fetlock Fete traditions – the Pony Pal Contest, the lucky pot dinner. You'll love it! So, like this says, "get your pony pal and come along."
Smolder: Want to go? I've got nothing better to do.
Gallus: You had me at "dinner".
Silverstream: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Now, who wants to help me hang more posters?
Silverstream: Me!
Ocellus: Sure!
Sandbar: Hey, Yona, want to be my pony pal? We can enter the contest together.
Yona: But Yona yak. Yona not pony.
Sandbar: So?
Yona: Pony, pony, more pony.
Sandbar: Aw, that's just a poster. Come on! It'll be tons of fun together. Promise.
Yona: Okay. Yona go with Sandbar.
Sandbar: Great! I'll get the tickets. See you later! [laughs]
Yona: Yona not let Sandbar down! Yak best at being pony pal! But Yona not sure how if she not pony.
[crash]
Rarity: Ooh! Oh, terribly sorry, Yona. All these dresses I'm sewing for the dance have me completely frazzled.
Yona: Dress? Yona need dress for dance?! Yona have lots to learn about being best pony pal.
[theme song]
[sewing machine whirring]
[knocking]
Rarity: [yelps]
[door opens]
Yona: Yona interrupting?
Rarity: Oh. [laughs] Well, not interrupting exactly. More like blocking the flow— uh, stopping me from what I'm doing— so, yes, interrupting! [nervous laugh] Now, what can I do for you, Yona?
Yona: Yona not know yak need special pony dress for dance. Yona no can wear what Yona always wear?
Rarity: Yona could— I mean, you could. But the Fetlock Fete or whatever Twilight is calling it – it's all about a tradition. There's a certain way to do everything at the dance.
Yona: Yes! That what Yona want to learn! How to do all the pony things, even if Yona has to wear dress.
Rarity: Well, uh, y-y-yes, if that's what you really want.
Yona: Mm-hmm! Yona be best pony pal for Sandbar!
Rarity: In that case, at an elegant affair like a pony dance, one must converse in a sophisticated fashion. Talking with Brussels sprouts in your mouth helps you to learn to [elocuting] ar-ti-cu-late. [normally] Take a mouthful, and repeat after me.
Yona: [chomps]
Rarity: [elocuting] How kind of you to ask me to tea.
Yona: [muffled] How kind of you to ask me to tea.
Rarity: [elocuting] May I offer you a glass of punch?
Yona: [muffled] May I offer you a glass of punch?
Rarity: [elocuting] The weather is quite agreeable today.
Yona: [muffled] The weather is quite agreeable today. [chews, gulps, belches loudly] Yona like Brussels sprouts!
Rarity: Let's move on.
Rarity: We will need to do something about your hairstyle. But first, let's find the right dress!
[wheels squeaking]
Rarity: Now, purple taffeta, frosted chiffon... [gasps] Gold brocade! One of my favorites!
Yona: Yona like brown.
Rarity: Blech... Earth tones. They're so... [laughs nervously] ...earthy, aren't they? Don't worry. We shall find something to make you stand out.
Yona: Yona not want to stand out. Yona want to fit in.
Rarity: [sighs] Quite. And by the time we're through, it'll be like you've been going to pony dances your whole life.
[Rarity]
The more you know how things are done
The more confident you'll be
There's more to a dance than just having fun
And there's no better teacher than me
Rarity!
Yona: Oh, Yona see!
Rarity: When I'm finished with you
You'll start to fit right in
Listen to me when I say
Once you learn the pony way
You'll start to fit right in
[Yona]
Right in!
[Rarity]
No need to wait another day
To be part of our smart soiree
The perfect dress
A color all the rage, but still unique
Now loose the braids
Try a style more fantastique
Here's what we'll do:
A horn-icure and a de-frizz
We'll dry shampoo this
Whatever yak part this is
Too curly, too blue
Too retro, too new
Too Twilight, too furry
We'll find one, don't you worry
Choose what you want to be and be it
Picture you to see and see it
I'm the mare to guarantee it
You'll fit right in
My plan, my grand design
Your friends will thrill to find
A new you that's too divine
Yeah, you're gonna—
[Yona]
Yona gonna—
[Rarity and Yona]
Fit right in
[Yona]
Right in
[Rarity]
Listen to me when I say
Once you learn the pony way
[Rarity and Yona]
You'll/I'll start to fit right in
[Rarity]
Right in
[Yona]
Yak not waste another day
To be part of your pony...
[Rarity and Yona]
Waaaaayyyyy
[Yona]
Yak not waste another day to
[Rarity and Yona]
Fit... right... in!
[thud]
Rarity: [gasps] I almost forgot! The most important part of the ball!
Yona: Oh. [scoffs, laughs] Yona already have pony pal.
Rarity: Oh, not that, darling. The dancing! And I know precisely who can help!
Yona: Uh... Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy good at dancing?
Rainbow Dash: Don't be so surprised. I'm awesome at everything! Except for baking.
Fluttershy: There are two traditional dances that everypony does at the Fete. After a few days of practicing with us, you'll know them both.
Yona: And fit right in!
Rarity: Absolutely. We'll start with the slow dance, the Pony Cotillion. That's Fluttershy's specialty.
Fluttershy: Oh, [nervous laugh], I wouldn't say specialty. It's just fun. Here, Yona. I made you a chart.
[paper unfurling]
Fluttershy: All you have to do is follow these dance steps. You'll learn them in no time.
[thump]
[record needle scratches]
[classical music plays]
Fluttershy: Now, just start walking. Step on whatever color I name. Let's begin. [in rhythm with the music] Blue, red, step ahead. Green, black, now step back. Now you try.
Yona: Blue, red, step— ah, oh! No. Um, Yona start over. Blue, red, green, black, yak step back?
Fluttershy: Good! Now, [in rhythm] black, green, red, and blue. Red, black, hold one and two. Red, blue, red once more. Green, black, blue, red, three and four.
Yona: [yelps] Yona feel like she has four front feet! [yelps]
[thud]
[squeaking]
Rarity: [sighs]
Fluttershy: Ooh. Um, maybe we should try this again later.
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry, Yona.
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: That was the hard one. Mine's way easier.
[needle scratches]
[uptempo pop music plays]
Rainbow Dash: A little dance called the Pony Prance! The key to this one is speed!
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Yona, try it! Just get with the flow and let yourself go!
[loud thumping]
[crashing]
Rarity: Oh, my!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa there!
Yona: [panting] Yona like to flow and go!
[thump]
Applejack: Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres, Yona. Rarity tells us you need some help gettin' ready for the big dance.
Rarity: "Some". Ha! Indeed. And we only have a few more days.
Pinkie Pie: Well, you've come to the right place. Because if you asked me what my favorite part of the dance is, I'd say everything about the dance! But especially... this! The Fetlock lucky pot dinner!
Applejack: It's part of the Ponyville dance tradition. Everypony brings a dish to share, and we swap 'em without knowin' whose is whose. Although my lucky pot probably gives me away. [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: You can cook anything you want! Like, can I suggest, oh, I don't know, maybe... cupcakes?!
Rarity: Uh, I already told Yona a little bit about that tradition. She's even brought her own lucky... bucket.
Yona: Yak buckets are best buckets. Yona think make traditional yak dish – tree-root stew!
[flies buzzing]
Yona: Extra fiber. Mmmm. Ponies like?
Pinkie Pie: Hmm, I'm not sure. So, just in case, let's get baking!
Pinkie Pie: [quickly] Flour, milk, sugar, butter, icing. Then we mix, and we beat, and we pour into pans. We bake...
[ding!]
Pinkie Pie: And now you try it!
[ripping]
Yona: [sneezes]
Pinkie Pie: Well, that's one way to mix it.
Applejack: Let's try somethin' a little simpler. I'm sure we can do somethin' with these.
Yona: Yah!
[splat]
Applejack: O-kay. Applesauce it is.
[thwack]
[montage music]
Yona: Blue, red, green... whoa! Blue...
[tumbling]
[splatting]
[ripping]
[whiffle-whiffle-whiffle]
[ding!]
Yona: [muffled] How kind of you to ask me to tea.
[scrubbing]
[boinging]
Yona: [chomp] [less muffled] How kind of you to ask me to tea.
Mane Six except Twilight Sparkle: [snoring]
Yona: [rhythmically] Blue, red, step ahead. [elocuting] How kind of you... [rhythmically] Green, black, Yona step back. [elocuting] ...to ask Yona to tea. [rhythmically] Black, green, red, and blue. Red, black hold one and two. Red, blue, red once more. Green, black, blue, red, three and four!
Rainbow Dash: Look! She's dancing!
Applejack: How 'bout that? And she's good!
Rarity: Yona, if someone at the party tells you they're thirsty, you say...
Yona: [elocuting] May Yona— um... May I offer you a cup of punch?
Rarity: By Celestia, I think she's got it!
Pinkie Pie: She's really got it!
Applejack: Yona, you did it!
Rainbow Dash: You dance great!
Fluttershy: And are so well spoken!
Pinkie Pie: You'll be the hit of the ball!
[Rarity]
You've mastered so many pony ways
And grown a lot in the past few days
You've shown a turn that has earned our praise
[Yona]
And now I fit right...
[Rarity and Yona]
...in
[Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie]
You fit right in!
Spike: [amplified] Hello, everycreature! I'm your DJ, Scales-n-Tail, spinning your favorite tunes all night long! So welcome to the Fetlock Fet— I mean, the Amity Ball!
[students cheering]
Gallus: I'm just glad I'm here with you guys. Least I'm not the only non-pony in the crowd.
Sandbar: You're not still worried about that, are you? Like Headmare Twilight said, this is a dance for everycreature. There's no pony pressure.
Gallus, Ocellus, and Smolder: [giggling]
Ocellus: You should've told Yona that.
Sandbar: Uh, what do you mean?
Silverstream: Didn't you hear? Our teachers have been helping her get ready for the dance! She's been taking lessons. [crunching]
Smolder: She's gone full pony for the dance.
Gallus: All for you.
[snap!]
Sandbar: For me? Why?
Yona: [elocuting] How kind of you to ask me to this soiree, Sandbar.
Gallus, Ocellus, Silverstream, and Smolder: Uhh...
Smolder: What?
Silverstream: You look so weird!
Sandbar: Yona?!
Yona: [elocuting] Quite. Oh, I do hope I make a good pony pal for you.
Sandbar: Uh, of course you do. But, Yona, you didn't need to do any of... this.
Smolder: And why are you talking so funny?
Yona: [elocuting] I am not "talking funny". I'm fitting in.
Gallus: Could've fooled me.
Rarity: Yona! You look absolutely scrumptious, darling. [kissing] Uh, why don't I get that for you?
Sandbar: You made a lucky pot?
Yona: [elocuting] Precisely like ponies prepare!
[microphone feedback]
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] Welcome, everycreature, to our school's first annual Amity Ball! For those of you who've never attended a Fetlock Fete, we can't wait to show you some of our fun traditions on this special night!
[students cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] So, Spike...
Spike: Uh, Scales-n-Tail?
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] Uh, right. Scales-n-Tail. [to crowd] Let's get this party started!
Spike: [amplified] Oh, yeah, party ponies! It's time to raise the roof and stomp your hoof for the traditional first dance of the night, the Pony Cotillion!
[classical music plays]
Yona: Ah! Yona know this one!
Sandbar: You do?
Yona: [elocuting] Indeed! Green, black, then step back. Shall we?
[spoon clinks]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Applejack: [chuckles]
Sandbar: [chuckles] Wow! How did you learn this?
Yona: [elocuting] I had good teachers.
[stretching]
Yona: Whoa!
[crash]
[students gasp]
[music stops]
Sandbar: [gasps] Yona! Are you alright?
Yona: Yona never practice dance with dress on. Uh... [elocuting] I mean, [chuckles] may I offer you a cup of punch?
[pouring]
Spike: [amplified] Time to shake things up a little! That's right, everycreature! It's the Pony Prance!
[slider clicking]
[uptempo pop music plays]
Sandbar: Uh, maybe we should sit this one out.
Yona: [elocuting] No! I do so love the Pony Prance!
Sandbar: Ah!
[hooves clicking]
Yona: [yelps]
[crunching and crashing]
[record needle scratches]
[worried chattering]
Rarity: [screams]
Yona: [yelps]
Sandbar: It's okay, Yona!
Smolder: Just stop bouncing!
Gallus: We got you!
[smack!]
Sandbar: [grunts]
[smack!]
Silverstream: [grunts]
[smack!]
Smolder: [grunts]
[smack!]
Gallus: Ah!
Yona: Wig... come... off! [grunts] Huh? [yelps]
[skidding brakes]
[crash!]
[splat]
[clang]
[splats]
Sandbar: [gasps]
[splats]
Rarity: What a calamitous yak-ccident!
Sandbar: Yona!
Ocellus: What happened?!
Silverstream: Are you all right?
Yona: [bawling] No! Yona not all right! Yona want to be alone! [crying]
[flump]
Yona:
Yona sad...
Yona sing sad song...
Sad Yona...
[bird twittering]
Yona: Yona no blame bird. Yona no want to be around Yona either.
Yona sad...
Yona sing sad song...
Sandbar: Yona?
Yona: [panicked gasp] [sniffling] How Sandbar find Yona?
Sandbar: I know you pretty well by now. I figured you'd come here. Besides, it's where I'd go if something like that happened to me.
Yona: Sandbar mean something awful and embarrassing. So awful, Yona cannot come down from treehouse ever!
[whirring]
Yona: Will Sandbar bring Yona food and water?
Sandbar: You know, it really wasn't that bad. I don't think anycreature hardly even noticed.
[beat]
Sandbar: Well, maybe one or two didn't. If they happened to be in Canterlot for the day. But anyway, it's all over now, so... will you come back to the dance with me?
[thump]
Yona: Yona disappoint Sandbar. Yona not make very good pony.
Sandbar: Why would you think you disappointed me? And who said anything about having to be a good pony?
Yona: Yona just want to do all the right pony things and fit in at dance! Then maybe Sandbar and Yona win best pony pals contest. Instead, Yona win worst pony ever.
[crunch]
Sandbar: That's not true.
Yona: Really? Sandbar, name two ponies worse than Yona.
Sandbar: Cozy Glow and Sombra.
Yona: [chuckles] Okay, Sandbar right. They worse.
Sandbar: Yona, it doesn't really matter if you're a great pony or a horrible pony. You're the best Yona I know. That's why I asked you to the dance.
Yona: Really?
Sandbar: I never wanted you to be anything other than what you are. My friend, Yona, the yak. [grunts] So, what do you say? Let's go back to the dance?
[sweeping]
Rarity: [sighs]
[door opens]
Rarity: [gasps]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Sandbar: [hushed] Don't worry. I'm with you.
Gallus: We all are.
Pinkie Pie: Yona! Are you all right?
Fluttershy: We were so worried when you disappeared like that.
Yona: Yona fine, but... Yona sorry. Not mean to make such a mess and ruin the pony dance.
Applejack: It's not your fault, sugarcube.
Rainbow Dash: It's the opposite. If anything, we should be apologizing.
Pinkie Pie: I thought we were just teaching you how to have fun at the dance.
Rarity: We never meant to try to turn you into something you're not.
Yona: Is okay. Friend help Yona feel better.
Twilight Sparkle: And that's why we're giving you this.
Sandbar and Yona: Huh?
Sandbar: No way! The Pony Pal prize!
Twilight Sparkle: From now on, it's the annual Amity Ball Award for Friendship!
Applejack: No pony-ness required.
Rainbow Dash: We all decided you and Yona totally earned this.
Rarity: Your actions tonight exemplify the true meaning of friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, you two!
Young Six: [cheering]
[students cheering]
Spike: Yona! I'm glad you're back! Everypony wants to learn that crazy dance you did!
Yona: Yak dance? Is easy! Yona teach... if everycreature want to learn?
Rarity: It would be an honor.
Spike: [amplified] You asked for it, and DJ Scales-n-Tail is gonna deliver! Everycreature join Yona for... the Yakyakistan Stomp!
[fast-paced Middle Eastern music plays]
[loud thumping]
[students laughing]
[multiple thumps]
Yona: [laughing, chanting "Yak! Yak! Yak!"]
[credits]

Frenemies

Cozy Glow: [clears throat] I don't want to tattle on my good friend Tirek, but... you might like to know he left food out. Again.
Grogar: I'll deal with it when I'm done.
Lord Tirek: Don't trust anything that nosy little Pegasus says!
Grogar: I don't trust anything any of you say.
Lord Tirek: Hmph!
Queen Chrysalis: Are you planning on attacking anypony anytime soon? If not, I don't know why I'm wasting my time here. I am a queen, you know?
Grogar: [snorts] I'm leaving, since it's impossible to accomplish the work I need to do here. I suggest the three of you come to some kind of accord.
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [arguing]
[magic zap]
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [muffled]
Grogar: I don't care how, but you must learn to work together! Only then can we accomplish what you so greatly desire – the defeat of Twilight Sparkle and her friends!
[theme song]
Cozy Glow: Nothing says "teamwork" like an inspirational banner. When Grogar sees this, he'll realize there's no way he could survive without me!
Lord Tirek: [grunting]
Cozy Glow: You're gonna have to exercise a lot to get as big as you were when you absorbed the life force of all those ponies. Anywho, Grogar wants us all to work together, so I've scheduled a team meeting. Doesn't that sound fun? And since Grogar left me in charge...
Lord Tirek: No, he didn't.
Cozy Glow: [giggles] Someone's a real grumpy-taur today. If we aren't meeting, I guess I could just stay and offer positive and inspiring—
Lord Tirek: Fine! I'll join your meeting. Just leave!
Cozy Glow: See you soon!
Queen Chrysalis: It's been weeks, and Grogar's done nothing! It's not healthy to hold on to all of this rage! I could lash out at any moment.
Cozy Glow: And how are you doing this fine—?
Queen Chrysalis: How do you think I'm doing?! I'm ready to exact my revenge! [to hunk of wood] See what I mean?
Cozy Glow: Being cooped up with nothing to do is the worst! You know what you need? A team meeting!
Queen Chrysalis: I don't do meetings.
Cozy Glow: Grogar left me in charge.
Queen Chrysalis: No, he didn't. And even if he did, Chrysalis obeys no one.
Cozy Glow: [singsongy] There'll be cupcakes.
Cozy Glow: Grogar wants us to work together to defeat our enemies. Which means we need to trust each other.
Queen Chrysalis: [chewing] If we are to trust one another, perhaps inform Lord Tirek to stop trying to absorb my essence!
Lord Tirek: [spits] I wasn't doing anything of the sort! How dare you!
Queen Chrysalis: How dare I?! Do you know to whom you are speaking?
Lord Tirek: How could I not? You tell your log every five minutes.
Cozy Glow: This is why Grogar left me in charge.
Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis: no! he! didn't!
Cozy Glow: [growls] Huh?
[Cozy Glow]
I think I know a way that we can grow
Time to try something new, something better
No more solo, trust is the way to go
And all we need to do is work together
Lord Tirek: Ah, please!
No thanks, no way, I feel the need to say
I'm smarter, stronger, and I don't need you two
Queen Chrysalis: Ha!
Stronger? Okay, I guess we'll downplay
How bad you got your rear end handed to you
[Cozy Glow]
It's time to try a better way to be bad
Lord Tirek: [groans]
[Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis]
Do we really need a better way to be bad?
[Cozy Glow]
United as one
[Queen Chrysalis]
Teamwork? Please, what a fad
[Cozy Glow]
Combine all our strength, we'll go to any length
Once we have a better way to be bad
Let's go begin, this time we're gonna win
[Queen Chrysalis]
The ice you're on is thin, so watch what you say
[Cozy Glow]
I know you're in, I think I see a grin
[Lord Tirek]
For all this pain and torture, I swear you'll pay
[Cozy Glow]
This time, we've got a better way to be bad
[Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis]
Sounds like a long shot, this "better way" to be bad
[Cozy Glow]
United as one, we'll make those ponies so sad
[Lord Tirek]
If we say "okay", would you just go away?
[Cozy Glow]
Once we have a better way to be bad
We want to break their friendship
We want to make them weak
You want revenge on Starlight
You want that huge physique
So let's increase our chances
By working as a team
To crush our enemies to dust
And laugh as they all scream!
All: [laughing evilly]
[Lord Tirek]
I think I see a better way to be bad
[Queen Chrysalis]
Just put me in charge, make me queen, you'll be glad
[Cozy Glow]
No! Listen to me, I'm the best of us three
[All]
Then you'll see a better way to be bad
[tempo increases]
Cozy Glow: Wait!
This is my thing, a better way to be bad
[Queen Chrysalis]
You shall do as I command, I will rule this triad!
[Cozy Glow]
Hey! This is my song!
[Lord Tirek and Queen Chrysalis]
Sorry, not any longer!
[All]
A better way to be bad
[Cozy Glow]
Now you're making me mad
[Lord Tirek]
Won't the ponies be sad?
[Queen Chrysalis]
That would make me so glad
[All]
Now we've got a better way to be baaaaaad!
Cozy Glow: Hey! You stepped on my cue!
Queen Chrysalis: Well, I did not! You stepped on our cue!
Lord Tirek: Ah, your rhythm was way off!
Cozy Glow: Oh, you think you're so cool just 'cause you're a queen!
Grogar: Enough! I had hoped by now you would've resolved your differences, but apparently not.
Queen Chrysalis: Perhaps if we knew what the plan was, we would be better able to prepare!
Lord Tirek: Assuming you even have a plan.
Grogar: Of course I have a plan! I have located an object of power, and it occurs to me this is the perfect test. The three of you will work together to retrieve it. Against this item, those ponies won't stand a chance.
Queen Chrysalis: I have come close to ruling Equestria several times. Perhaps I should be the one to lead us.
Cozy Glow: I nearly drained all the magic from Equestria! That was good!
Lord Tirek: I absorbed all the magic of Equestria! I could feel it flowing through my body as I grew!
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [arguing]
[magic zap]
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [grunt]
Grogar: Each of you failed to defeat Twilight Sparkle and her friends! My power is greater than all of yours combined. This is but a fraction of it! Understood?!
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [various assenting, grunt]
Grogar: Now you shall retrieve the rest of it.
Grogar: [narrating] Thousands of moons ago, the self-righteous Gusty the Great, unable to best me face-to-face, stole my Bewitching Bell. A talisman containing much of my own magic. The Bell cannot be destroyed, so Gusty hid it in a place it has taken me millennia to discover – an enchanted cave high atop Mt. Everhoof, protected by magical winds that prevent anypony from reaching its peak. There, the Bell has remained until now.
Grogar: Scale Mt. Everhoof. Bring me back my Bell.
Queen Chrysalis: [laughs] The ease of this task is laughable.
[bird screeches]
Queen Chrysalis: Well, it sounded easy.
[bird screeches]
Lord Tirek: Scale the mountain...
Queen Chrysalis: ...retrieve Grogar's Bell...
Cozy Glow: ...together! I drew up a detailed plan with several visual aids to show how we can... ditch each other and do it alone. Maybe when I'm waiting for them at the top, then they'll appreciate me.
[wind whistling]
[growling]
Queen Chrysalis: [hisses]
[whimpering]
Queen Chrysalis: As if anything on this mountain is scarier than I. [chuckles]
Lord Tirek: [blows]
[splat]
Lord Tirek: [coughs, spits]
[wind whistling]
[door opens, closes]
Rusty Bucket: Halt! Who goes there? A pony? There ain't been ponies around here in I-don't-know-how-many moons!
Cozy Glow: [whimpering] Oh, golly, good sir. I'm just a poor lost pony looking for help.
Rusty Bucket: Aw, don't fret, little filly. Ol' Rusty Bucket here, at your service.
Cozy Glow: I'm so glad I found you. I need help getting to the top of the mountain.
Rusty Bucket: Uh, no can do, ma'am.
Cozy Glow: Why not?!
[rumbling]
Rusty Bucket: [lowered] Shhh! Not so loud! This here's avalanche territory. I'm the guardian of this here mountain. It's my job to keep ponies from heading up. Nothing at the top but dangerous snow, dangerous ice, and dangerous wind. Basically, it's dangerous.
Cozy Glow: It must get lonely all by yourself. Maybe I could be your friend?
Rusty Bucket: Aw. I'd love a friend.
Cozy Glow: So, now that we are friends, you could help me up the mountain.
Rusty Bucket: Hmm, uh... a real friend wouldn't ask me to do something I'm not supposed to do. Says so right here in the Journal of Friendship, written by Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
Cozy Glow: are. you. kidding me?! [echoing]
[birds chirping]
Rusty Bucket: Shhhh!
Cozy Glow: I didn't want to be friends anyway.
Rusty Bucket: Awww...
[slipping sounds]
[transformation noise]
[crunch!]
[crunch!]
[transformation noise]
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: Almost there.
[crunching]
[leaves rustling]
[wind whistling]
[thud]
[snow crunching]
Rusty Bucket: Nope. Not that way neither.
Rusty Bucket: [yawns]
[rumbling]
[flump!]
[sizzling]
Cozy Glow: I tried being nice!
[rumbling]
Rusty Bucket: Shh-shh-shh! Now, just calm down there, filly.
Cozy Glow: You calm down! Ponies are supposed to do [echoing] what I ask them to do! It's, like, my thing! Okay?!
[rolling]
[thud]
Cozy Glow: [screams, fades]
Rusty Bucket: Meh.
[door opens, closes]
[wind whistling]
Queen Chrysalis: Apparently I don't need anypony else.
[transformation noise]
[clawing noises]
[whoosh!]
[thud]
Queen Chrysalis: [grunts]
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: [groans] Agh!
[leaves rustling]
Cozy Glow: [panting]
Lord Tirek: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: It's not funny, Tirek!
Lord Tirek: Didn't make it to the top? Surprise, surprise.
Cozy Glow: You didn't make it to the top either.
Lord Tirek: I didn't try to.
Cozy Glow: What?!
Lord Tirek: It took about five minutes to deduce that Grogar was right. None of us could make it up alone. So, rather than subject myself to the elements, I decided to let you two face the danger, take what you learned, and use it to my advantage. [laughs]
Cozy Glow: I put up with your "I'm smarter than you" attitude in Tartarus! But I'm over it!
Lord Tirek: I'd had enough of you trying to manipulate me with that insincere, syrupy sweetness. At least now we can see the real you.
Cozy Glow: This is not the real me! I'm cute and lovable!
Lord Tirek: [scoffs] No, you're not. You're annoying, and you snore.
Cozy Glow: I do not snore!
Lord Tirek: [mock-snoring]
Cozy Glow: At least I don't talk to my Gram-Gram in my sleep.
Lord Tirek: Don't you dare bring Gram-Gram into this!
[Ophiotaurus roars]
Cozy Glow and Lord Tirek: This is your fault!
[Ophiotaurus roars]
Queen Chrysalis: [roars]
[Ophiotaurus grunts softly]
Cozy Glow: Quick! It's distracted! Let's go!
Lord Tirek: Wait.
Queen Chrysalis: [roars]
[transformation noise]
[magic sounds]
Queen Chrysalis: [slurps]
[thud]
Queen Chrysalis: Mmmm... So much love. I haven't eaten this well in ages.
Cozy Glow: [gags] So gross.
Queen Chrysalis: Just so we're clear, I didn't save you because I like you. I did it because... because I...
Cozy Glow: Neeeeeeed us?
Queen Chrysalis: [gritted] Yes.
Lord Tirek: Clearly I was right to wait. Now tell me everything you learned today. Leave nothing out.
Cozy Glow: Why are you doing that? Didn't you already drain it of love?
Queen Chrysalis: I always save a little for the next day.
Cozy Glow: You cocoon all of your... meals?
Queen Chrysalis: Of course.
Cozy Glow: So when you pony-napped Twilight and the others, you cocooned them.
Queen Chrysalis: Yes. Until that sow Starlight Glimmer freed them, corrupted my subjects, and stole my hive!
Lord Tirek: Those ponies have weaknesses. I used that turncoat Discord. Tricked him into helping me capture his so-called "friends".
Queen Chrysalis: [sighs] Discord was really something until friendship ruined him.
Lord Tirek: You should've seen Twilight's face when her friends appeared in bubbles around me. She was all... [exaggerated groaning]
Cozy Glow and Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: She's so stressed out all the time.
Queen Chrysalis: When I posed as her former foal-sitter, I thought she was going to implode!
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]
Cozy Glow: I wish I could've seen her face when I nearly erased all the magic from Equestria.
Lord Tirek: All magic was a little excessive, don't you think?
Cozy Glow: Eh, I think big. Besides, it would've been worth it just to see Twilight and her friends bow down to me!
Lord Tirek: Indeed it would. Who wouldn't love to see those prissy ponies realize they lost everything?
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: I'm a pathetic pony princess! I made a detailed list of all the ways I'm a failure!
Cozy Glow and Lord Tirek: [laughing]
Lord Tirek: You know, working with you two may not be the worst thing.
Queen Chrysalis: Perhaps... as long as it results in the complete destruction of our enemies.
Cozy Glow: I wouldn't have it any other way. Do the pathetic princess thing again!
[transformation noise]
Cozy Glow and Lord Tirek: [laughing]
[door opens, closes]
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: [roars]
[rumbling]
[flump!]
Cozy Glow, Lord Tirek, and Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]
Rusty Bucket: I'm okay!
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: [growls]
[crash!]
[wind whistling]
[transformation noise]
[wings flapping]
[transformation noise]
[transformation noise]
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: Aah!
[thud]
[zap!]
Lord Tirek: [pained groan]
Cozy Glow: Can you absorb it and make it go away?
Lord Tirek: I can only absorb magic from living beings.
Cozy Glow: Like her?
Queen Chrysalis: Betrayal!
Cozy Glow: Not betrayal. Teamwork. If Tirek absorbs your energy, he might be strong enough to break through.
Queen Chrysalis: And then?
Cozy Glow: Then... he gives it back.
Lord Tirek: I do?
Cozy Glow: Mm-hmm.
Queen Chrysalis: How do I know you won't take my magic and leave me?
Cozy Glow: Would we do that to you? Okay, normally, yes, we would.
Lord Tirek: I'll give you your magic back.
Queen Chrysalis: Do it.
[magic sounds]
Queen Chrysalis: [groaning]
Lord Tirek: So... much... power! [kisses] Welcome back, baby!
[magic sounds]
Lord Tirek: It's not big enough for me!
Cozy Glow: Maybe not you! Keep it open, or I'll be trapped forever!
Queen Chrysalis: Would that be so terrible?
Lord Tirek: [chuckles, grunts] Can't... hold... much... longer! Hurry!
[flump!]
Cozy Glow: Ta-da!
Queen Chrysalis: My magic...
[magic sounds]
Queen Chrysalis: I-I wasn't sure you were going to give it back.
Lord Tirek: Neither was I. But working together seemed smarter than to continue fighting.
Cozy Glow: When we helped each other, it felt better somehow.
Queen Chrysalis: I haven't felt like this since before I lost my hive. Having others who will be there for you is... pleasing.
Lord Tirek: All of these years taking power from ponies...
Cozy Glow: When you use your power to help others...
Queen Chrysalis: Yes, it feels... nooooooooo!
Cozy Glow and Lord Tirek: Whoa!
Queen Chrysalis: The Magic of Friendship is like a disease! An infection that spreads to those around you! I watched it infect my hive! I will not let it get me!
Cozy Glow: Same.
Lord Tirek: Obviously.
Cozy Glow: But... Grogar said we have to work together.
Queen Chrysalis: Grogar is too powerful. Something must be done about that. Let Grogar think we're his loyal servants. In the meantime, we'll hatch our own plan.
Cozy Glow: Ooh... I love a good backstabbing!
Lord Tirek: After that, we can go back to trying to destroy each other!
Cozy Glow: In the meantime, what do we do with this?
Grogar: You failed to retrieve the Bell?!
[loud thud]
Cozy Glow: W-W-We're sorry, almighty Grogar.
Lord Tirek: We worked together as you asked.
Queen Chrysalis: We just aren't as powerful as you.
Grogar: [angry shout]
[magic zap]
[boom!]
Grogar: Obviously! At least you finally did as you were told and worked together.
Cozy Glow: Of course!
Lord Tirek: Whatever you command!
Queen Chrysalis: Forget about that old bell. You were right. We're so much more powerful... when we work as a team.
[humming]
[credits]

Sweet and Smoky

[bird chirping]
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Smolder: Uh, Headmare Twilight? Sorry to bug you in the Teachers' Lounge. Is it okay if I miss class?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. You can make it up tomorrow.
Smolder: Actually, I'll be gone for a week.
Twilight Sparkle: A week?! In the middle of the semester?
Fluttershy: Oh, is everything all right, Smolder?
Smolder: Not exactly. [sighs] My brother's been having a hard time since I left for school. I want to go home and check on him. He's a really sweet guy, and the other dragons can be kind of rough.
Spike: Did you say "sweet guy" and "dragon" in the same sentence?
Smolder: Yeah. He's sort of like you, Spike.
Spike: Awww...
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry to hear about your brother, Smolder. But the Dragon Lands are really far for you to go by yourself. And I'm not sure about you missing so much class.
Spike: Hey! What if she got a school credit for it? Kind of like a... a kindness field trip? I'll go with her.
Smolder: Thanks! The Dragon Lord is way too busy for personal problems when it's baby dragon hatching season.
Fluttershy: Baby... dragon... hatching season?! [gasps] All those cute little snouts poking out of those adorable little shells?! Teeny, tiny, twitchy tails?! Can I go too?!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, you are the perfect pony to lead a kindness field trip.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Fine. But I'm gonna expect a full report when you get back.
Smolder: How many pages?
Twilight Sparkle: I was talking to Fluttershy. Hatching season sounds fascinating!
Fluttershy, Spike, and Smolder: [laughing]
[theme song]
Spike: Okay, I made a list of what cheers me up when I'm down, so if your brother's like me, he's gonna love it! What should we do first? The Smile Song? The sharing circle? Or friendship bracelet weaving?
Smolder: I'm not sure those are the kind of things my brother's gonna be into.
Fluttershy: Well, what would make your brother happy?
Smolder: Just having Spike and me accept him for who he is will make a huge difference. Dragons who appreciate his more sensitive side.
Spike: I got it! Show tunes!
Smolder: Yeah, no, but good try.
Fluttershy: [sniffs] Oh! Uh... [through plugged nose] That's an interesting smell.
Smolder: [inhales, sighs] The stink of sulfur. Sharp rocks under my claws. [sighs] It's good to be home.
Spike: I can't wait to meet your brother, Smolder. We're gonna be best buddies. I just know it.
Smolder: He usually hangs out near here. I'll go try and find him.
Fluttershy: Spike, do you mind if I take a peek at the cute little baby eggs?
Spike: No problem. I'll stay here and finish this comfort blanket. It'll be like a hug every time Smolder's brother wraps it around himself.
Fluttershy: Awww. I'm sure he'll love it, Spike.
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh... my... goodness! Good morning, little one. I've come a long way to meet you. Did you know there's a whole wide world out here waiting to say hello? Did you? Oh, did you, boo? [baby talk]
Ember: It can't answer you. It's an egg.
Fluttershy: Ah, Dragon Lord Ember. How nice to see you.
Ember: Nice to see you too... uh... Which one are you again? The party one? Apple Dash! Or was that the country one?
Fluttershy: Fluttershy. The one who loves creatures. Are... all these yours?
Ember: What?! No! None of them are. Watching over eggs is just part of the glamorous life of a Dragon Lord.
Fluttershy: I think it sounds wonderful.
Ember: Yeah? Then maybe you can help.
Fluttershy: [gasps] I'd love to! Just tell me what to do!
Ember: I don't know. It's my first time being in charge. Dad wasn't big on sharing Dragon Lord details. It's kind of a "burn or be burned" job.
Fluttershy: Well, I'm sure you're doing great.
Ember: Not really. The eggs should've hatched by now. But none of them have even cracked.
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. Maybe they're lonely? Don't you worry. Auntie Fluttershy's here. And the Dragon Lord and I are gonna do everything we can to welcome you into this world.
Ember: Really? How?
Fluttershy: Um... I have no idea.
Spike: Now, that's a thing of beauty. Whoa!
Garble: Well, if it isn't our little pony friend Spike.
Spike: That's Equestria's official friendship ambassador to the Dragon Lands to you! And I'm not little! I had the molt. See?
Garble and Dragons: [laughing]
Garble: Oh-ho-ho, runt's got wings. I'm soooo impressed. What's that supposed to be?
Spike: Nothing! Aah! [grunts]
Garble: Looks like a baby blanket to me.
Spike: It's not a baby blanket. It's a... comfort blanket.
Garble and Dragons: [laughing]
Garble: Awwww. Did your pony pals make it for you with friendship and gumdrops?
Spike: No. I made it. And by the way, knitting's a lot harder than it looks.
Garble: Check out the baby blanket, guys! It's a lot harder than it looks! [laughs] Got your bwanky!
"Billy": Aw, little baby crying?
Spike: [panting]
Garble: Oh! Missed!
Spike: [panting]
"Billy": Bet he broke a claw and everything. [laughs]
Clump: [laughs]
Spike: Give it back! That's for my friend!
Garble and Dragons: [laughing]
[flames roaring]
Spike: Cut it out! You know laugh fire's dangerous! It can—!
[burning sounds]
Spike: ...do that.
Smolder: Garble!
Garble: Smolder? What are you doing here?
[high-fives]
Clump: How's it scalin', brah?
Spike: [whispering] We'd better get out of here before your brother shows up. Garble isn't very nice to sensitive dragons.
Smolder: But Garble is my brother.
Spike: Your brother?!
Garble: Got a problem with that, pony-boy?
Spike: Oh, brother. [teeth chattering]
Spike: [whimpering]
Smolder: I've missed you, bro. We got a lot of fun to catch up on. There's no lava diving at school.
Clump: Good luck gettin' Garble to do anything.
"Billy": Heh, yeah. He's gotten so weird since you left. Hiding and moping around...
Garble: I have not!
Clump, "Billy", and Fume: Have so!
Smolder: Easy, guys. I learned at Twilight's school ganging up on each other isn't half as cool as you think.
Clump: Awww. Pony school made you soft.
Smolder: Want to try me and find out?
Clump: [gulps] M-Maybe later.
Spike: So, uh, let's get lava diving. What do you say?
"Billy": Better stay here, shrimp. Lava might ruin your blanky-wanky.
Garble: Let the wimp tag along. Then we'll have somedragon to dunk! [laughs]
Smolder: Hmph. Only gonna warn you once. Spike's my friend. You mess with him, you mess with me. Besides, he came here to hang out with you, Garble.
[beat]
Clump, "Billy", and Fume: [laughing]
[flames roaring]
"Billy": [mockingly] Awww. How sweet. Ha!
Clump: Let's go do dragon stuff. Garble can have fun with his new friend.
Clump, "Billy", and Fume: [laughing]
[flames roaring]
Garble: But I'm not having fun! And he's not my friend! [growls]
Smolder: Eh, just ignore them, "Gar-Gar".
Garble: Smolder! Not in public!
Spike: Oh, it's okay to have a nickname. Sometimes I'm called "Spikey-Wikey".
Garble: Seriously? You're admitting this? [to Smolder] I am not hanging out with him.
Smolder: Give him a chance, Garble. You guys have a lot in common.
Garble: [groans] Fine. Race you to the lava pit.
Spike: Wait. I thought you said your brother was sweet.
Smolder: All the tough guy stuff is just an act. He's a big marshmallow.
Spike: Yeah, not seein' it.
Smolder: Well, maybe a burnt marshmallow. Smoky on the outside, but squishy inside. He just needs friends who can appreciate that part. Like you. You're not changing your mind about helping me cheer him up, are you?
Spike: Me? 'Course not! [nervous laugh, sighs]
Smolder: Okay! Lava jumping! Just like old times, huh, Gar-Gar?
Garble: Yeah. Just like old times. Except for one little annoying thing.
Smolder: Scales away!
[splash]
Smolder: Come on in! The lava's fine!
Garble: [sighs]
Spike: You know, whenever I'm feeling a little down, it always helps if I do something with a friend. How about we jump together?
[smack!]
Spike: Aah!
[splash]
[bubbling]
Smolder: Ooh... [winces] Spike? You okay?
Spike: [gasps] [stuffed] Uh, I know there must be something worse than lava up your nose. Ah... ah... [sneezes] I just don't know what it is.
Garble: Cannonball!
[whistling through air]
Spike: Aah!
[splash!]
Garble: Woo-hoo! [laughs] Oops?
Spike: Ah! [coughing] [strained] Swallowing lava. Swallowing lava's definitely worse.
Garble: [insincere] My bad.
Fluttershy: [reading] "...And then they all lived happily ever after." Time to come out, little ones. [baby talk] Maybe you'd like a song? [deep breath]
Ember: I think you might be encouraging them to stay in. Dragons aren't much for touchy-feely stuff.
Fluttershy: Oh. I'm sorry.
[rattling]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Goodness. Why are the eggs shaking? [gasps] Are they finally hatching?
Ember: I wish. They've been doing that for days. I'm sure it means something, but it's probably not good.
Spike: Try this. Red velvet. Guaranteed to brighten anycreature's spirits.
[smack!]
[splat!]
[squish!]
Garble: Feelin' better already.
Spike: I dunno about you, but a change of scenery always turns my frown upside-down. Aah!
[flump!]
Spike: [under breath] I will be the bigger dragon. I will be the bigger dragon. I will be the bigger dragon. I will be the bigger dragon.
Spike: Sometimes, just hearing what someone appreciates about you can make you feel better about yourself.
Smolder: I'll go first. Spike, I think it's really nice that you're trying to cheer up Gar-Gar.
Garble: [groans]
Spike: Thank you, Smolder. My turn. I like how you always let everycreature know how you're feeling, Gar-Gar.
Garble: Only Smolder gets to call me that!
Spike: [pained groan] Thank you for speaking your truth. [groans]
Clump: More fresh lava comin' up!
[crunching]
[bubbling]
[drain sound]
Spike: Okay. New activity. Who wants to make vision boards?
"Billy": Hey, Garble, Smolder! Surf's up!
[splashing]
Garble: Let me show you how it's done!
[splashing]
Smolder: You coming?
Spike: I'll... catch up with you.
[splashing]
Spike: [sighs]
Fluttershy: [sighs] Spike! There you are!
Spike: Hey, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: For a land that's all rocks, this place is surprisingly easy to get lost in.
Spike: How are the baby dragons doing?
Fluttershy: The eggs won't hatch. They just keep shaking. I'm starting to think the dragons are too scared to come out. I was hoping you could help. If you're not too busy cheering up Smolder's brother.
Spike: Not a chance. Smolder's brother is Garble.
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Spike: The only thing that cheers him up is to make me miserable.
Garble: Hey, Spike! Want to play lavaball?
[whoosh!]
Spike: Huh?
[glop!]
[sizzle!]
Fluttershy: Excuse me, but that's not a very nice game!
Garble and Dragons: [grunting, laughing]
[glop! glop! glop!]
Clump: Ah! Nearly got you!
Fluttershy: [echoing] ENOUGH!
[splashes]
Fluttershy: [clears throat] I mean, leave my friend alone please. Spike came all this way to cheer up Garble, which was a very kind thing to do.
"Billy": [to Garble, mockingly] Awwww, do you need cheering up?
Clump: What's wrong, Garble? Did somedwagon hurt your wittle feelings?
Garble: No! I-I don't know what she's talking about! Spike's the one who's gonna cry!
Smolder: Hey! Are we lava surfing or what?
Garble: Uh, yeah, yeah! [nervous laugh] Let's go hang with a real dragon, not a pony wannabe!
Garble and Dragons: [laughing]
Spike: See? It's no use. [sighs] Why don't I see what I can do about the eggs and you cheer up Garble? At least he listens to you.
Fluttershy: Just you wait, Garble. You're dealing with Fluttershy now, and she's packin' a whole lifetime of kindness!
Ember: Oh... Coochie-coochie-coo. [groans] Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-coochie-coo! Coochie-coochie. I said coochie—!
Spike: Uh, what are you doing?
Ember: [gasps] Spike!
Spike: Hi, Ember!
Ember: Shouldn't you be doing whatever it is you do at Twilight's school?
Spike: I wish. It's a long story. Wow. These eggs really do look scared.
[rattling]
Spike: Wait. Aren't the hatching grounds supposed to be hot?
Ember: Uh, of course. There's a lake of molten lava under them. That's why the eggs are laid here. The heat makes them hatch.
Spike: Then something's wrong. I don't think the eggs are shaking because they're afraid. They're cold.
Ember: You're right! But what happened to the lava?
Spike: I might have an idea.
Fluttershy: Garble! Smolder! Is anydragon there?
[bongo drums]
Fluttershy: Oh, my. Are those... bongo drums?
Garble: Fire, dragon. Wig and waggin'. Feelin' like I be saggin'.
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Smolder: [snapping fingers] Oh, yeah. I dig.
[bongo drums]
Garble: Ragin' lava. Balaclava.
Smolder: Huh?
Garble: Aah!
Clump: Fresh lava comin' up!
[bubbling]
[splash]
Spike: See? I wondered where that lava was coming from. They must be draining it from the underground lake.
Ember: [growls]
[loud thud]
Ember: Put that rock back! Immediately!
Clump: Uh, yes, Dragon Lord Ember!
Ember: How long have you been removing these boulders?
Clump: Uhhhh... a while.
"Billy": It made our lava pool so nice and warm-like.
Ember: [growls] It's supposed to be heating the eggs! Now they'll never hatch!
Dragons: [panicked grunts]
Clump: Sorry, Dragon Lord Ember!
"Billy": We'll put the lava back! [panicked grunts]
Clump: [panicked grunts] Here you go, lava! Come on! So difficult! And liquid-y!
Spike: I don't think it works that way. The hatching grounds can't be the only warm place in the Dragon Lands. There's got to be somewhere else we can take the eggs.
Ember: You know how fragile those things are? No way we'll be able to move them all safely. [growls] You! Go and bring all the dragons to the hatching grounds! We'll have to make the heat ourselves!
Garble: What do you think you're doing sneaking around here, pony?!
Fluttershy: Sneaking? Looks to me like the only one sneaking around is you, Garble. Why didn't you tell me you were a poet?
Garble: I'm not!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
[bongo drum taps]
[bongo drums]
Fluttershy: Words. Rhythm. Sometimes rhyme. Weird punctu... ation. Sure sounds like poetry to me.
Smolder: It's okay, Gar-Gar. Fluttershy won't think you're soft for being a poet. And neither would anydragon who was your real friend.
Garble: [sighs] 'Kay, fine. But I'm not a flowery, namby-pamby poet! I'm a beat poet. Dig?
Fluttershy: I totally feel you.
Garble: And you better not tell my friends about it!
Fluttershy: But why? If I was a poet, I'd want to share my creations with everypony.
Smolder: I'm the only one Garble will perform for. He hasn't written any poetry since I left. That's why he's been so sad.
Garble: I need to create. But if the other dragons ever found out I like this junk, they'd make fun of me forever.
Fluttershy: Is that why you pick on Spike? To make your friends think you're tough?
Smolder: Wait. You've been picking on Spike?
Garble: Uh... only when you're not looking. But if I didn't pick on Spike, they'd just pick on me! And he is kind of a weakling.
Fluttershy: Hmph! I'll have you know Spike is stronger than you are any day!
Garble: Yeah, right! That little cupcake-making, blanket-cuddling pony-dragon? [laughs] Give me a break!
Fluttershy: [gasps] First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a pony! Second, Spike isn't afraid to be who he is, no matter what you or anycreature thinks! That's real strength! Not like some dragons I know.
Smolder: For a pony without a horn, she's sure got a point.
Spike: I've been looking all over for you guys! We need your help! Hurry!
[zip!]
[flames roaring]
Ember: I've ordered everydragon to warm up the eggs, but they still won't hatch. I don't know what else we can try.
Spike: We can't give up! There's got to be something we can do!
Clump: [mockingly] How about we wrap the eggs in a bunch of baby bwankets? [laughs]
"Billy": [laughs] Yeah! The wimp can knit 'em up quick-like!
Spike: Hey, watch it! That laugh fire could burn somepony!
Dragons: [laughing]
Garble: Burn... Good idea, Spikey-Wikey!
[zip!]
Dragons: [stop laughing]
[bongo drums]
Garble: Eggs, come. Burst into that light. Break through shells that bind.
Spike: [snaps fingers]
Garble: Break free, explore. Stuck! ...Between rock and... hard place.
[beat]
Dragons: [laughing]
[flames roaring]
Garble: Freedom, come! Don't be shy! Look those others in the eye!
Dragons: [uproarious laughing]
[flames roaring]
Garble: Stake your claim! Don't stop! Just do! Be the one and only... you!
Dragons: [uproarious laughing]
[cracking]
Fluttershy: Spike, look!
Spike: What? Huh?! Their laugh fire's so hot, it's hatching the eggs!
Garble: Come to light! Proud to be! Open up! Bam! Be... free!
Dragons: [uproarious laughing]
[cracking]
Smolder: You did it, Gar-Gar! You performed in front of other dragons!
"Billy": [laughs] And it was super lame! What kind of weakling writes poetry?
Ember: The hero of the Dragon Lands! That's who!
Smolder: Yeah! Garble saved our eggs because he was strong enough to be who he is, whether you liked it or not. I grew up thinking it was okay to make fun of differences. But my friends have taught me to celebrate them.
Dragons: [grunting]
Ember: And from now on, in my kingdom, that's exactly what we will do. Now, if you don't mind, can you teach me how to write poetry like that? It's pretty cool.
Garble: Uh... yeah, sure. No problem!
"Billy": Yeah, me, too!
Clump: I want to learn!
Spike: Take a number, guys.
Fluttershy: I'll take them all! [giggling]
[credits]

Going to Seed

[rooster yawns, crows]
Winona: [eating]
Applejack: I know we've had this day marked on the calendar for quite a while, but it's finally here.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Sure is.
Granny Smith: What?
Applejack: The Confluence. A harvest a hundred moons in the makin'. When every apple comes ripe at the same time. Big Mac's been up late workin' on this schedule so we can be sure not to miss a single tree. All it'll take now is a few days o' hard work. Who's with me?
Big McIntosh: [snoring]
Apple Bloom: [groans] That looks like a lot of work.
Granny Smith: Aw, don't you worry, chick-a-bidee. We got this Confluence under control. I got us some help.
Applejack: That's great, Granny! Twilight and the others are too busy at the school to lend a hoof. We could sure use some more muscle. Who'd you get? Braeburn? Honeycrisp?
Granny Smith: [chuckles] Even better.
[muffed meowing]
[thud]
[door opens]
[cats meowing]
Goldie Delicious: Howdy, y'all!
[scritching]
Big McIntosh: [pained yelling]
[thud]
Goldie Delicious: Mm-hmm. Now, that's how you wake a pony up.
Apple Bloom: Goldie Delicious!
Goldie Delicious: Granny told me y'all could use a helpin' hoof with this here Confluence, so I came a-runnin'.
Applejack: Well, with a harvest this big, we're grateful for all the help we can get. I guess.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Goldie Delicious: It's too bad y'all ain't ever caught the Great Seedling. He'd have granted you a perpetual harvest, Confluence or no.
Applejack and Big McIntosh: [laugh]
Applejack: The Great Seedlin'? Well now. I haven't thought about that old mare's tale for years.
Goldie Delicious: The Great Seedlin' ain't no mare's tale! He's a magical Earth spirit...
Goldie Delicious: [narrating] All the colors of the harvest that travels from farm to farm daring ponies to catch him. And those that have the ingenuity are rewarded with crops that are always in bloom.
Goldie Delicious: And he's as real as you and me!
Granny Smith: As I'm up to recall, Apple Bloom used to love settin' traps for the Great Seedlin' when she was a young'un. [laughs]
Big McIntosh: [laughs]
Applejack: Well, I'm pretty sure she's outgrown the whole thing by now. Right, Apple Bloom?
[beat]
Apple Bloom: Or maybe I'm big enough now to finally catch him! Who's with me?!
[theme song]
Applejack: Apple Bloom, you haven't hunted for the Great Seedlin' since you were little. Why would you want to start again now?
Apple Bloom: The Confluence is so big! He's bound to show up! And if we catch him, he'll make all the apples ripe all the time! Right, Goldie?
Goldie Delicious: Mm-hmm. That's right, young filly.
Apple Bloom: [laughs] Just imagine. Sweet Apple Acres would be the busiest orchard in Equestria! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do!
[door opens]
Applejack: Don't forget we have actual work to do, too!
Goldie Delicious: Nothin' like a little filly enjoyin' the harvest. [chuckles]
Applejack: I don't mind Apple Bloom havin' fun. But there's honest-to-goodness work to do that doesn't have a thing to do with an old legend.
Granny Smith: Aw, quit worryin', sugar booger. Apple Bloom can hunt for the Seedlin' all she wants. If you're so fret-a-fied about work, why don't you and your brother get to buckin' your own selves?
Applejack: Granny's right.
[cat yowls]
Applejack: Come on, sleepyhead. Let's get to work.
Big McIntosh: [yawns] Eeyup...
[cat yowls]
[thud]
Applejack: Hyah! Hwah!
[apples thudding]
Granny Smith: [chuckles] ...and if you had two o' them, it would've been a "pair o' pears"!
Granny Smith and Goldie Delicious: [laughing]
[crack]
Applejack: As much as I appreciate her volunteerin', I'm not sure how much help Goldie's gonna be.
Goldie Delicious: Oh, now, that reminds me of the time Dottie – that's my cheetah, you understand – she found out where I keep the catnip.
Granny Smith and Goldie Delicious: [laughing]
Applejack: I love hearin' her and Granny spinnin' yarns, but it looks like the harvestin's up to us. You're gonna have to redo that schedule.
Big McIntosh: [sighs] Eeyup.
Applejack: And as much as I'd rather Apple Bloom were helpin', I guess there's no harm in her huntin' the Great Seedlin' for a day. Right? Big Mac!
Big McIntosh: [snores, yells]
[thud]
[whip!]
Big McIntosh: [yells]
Apple Bloom: Gotcha! Awww. You ain't the Great Seedlin'.
Big McIntosh: Nope.
[whap!]
[rooster crows]
[sizzling]
Applejack: We fell behind a bit yesterday, so we need everypony at their best.
[cat meows]
Goldie Delicious: If that's your brother's best, we might be done for. Mm-hmm.
[hooves rattling]
[thud]
Applejack: He was just up late workin' out a new schedule so we can stay on track.
Apple Bloom: I didn't sleep either! I was too excited! I can't wait to see if I caught the Great Seedlin'!
[door opens]
Applejack: I hope you're ready to cheer Apple Bloom up when her traps come up empty.
Apple Bloom: Everypony! Come quick! You got to see!
Applejack: What in blazes is all the excitement about?
Apple Bloom: Look!
[whimsical music]
Apple Bloom: The Great Seedlin' did this! Didn't he?!
Goldie Delicious: Well, braid my mane! These sure look like Great Seedlin' tracks to me!
Apple Bloom: Ha! I knew it! He was here! The Great Seedlin' was here! Ain't that amazin', Applejack?!
Applejack: Yeah... Amazin'...
Goldie Delicious: [laughs]
Apple Bloom: [gasps] Isn't it beautiful? I just can't believe the Great Seedlin' was really here!
Applejack: Neither can I.
Apple Bloom: What do you think this means?
Goldie Delicious: [laughs] Well, it looks to me like a challenge. The Seedling wants you to know that he was here, and he's daring you to catch him. Mm-hmm.
Apple Bloom: You think I still have a chance?
Granny Smith: You're an Apple, ain't ya?
Goldie Delicious: Why, if you set enough traps, you're bound to catch him.
Apple Bloom: You're right! And that's just what I'm gonna do! Look out, Great Seedlin'! Here I come! [giggles]
Granny Smith and Goldie Delicious: [laughing]
Applejack: Now, why would you go and do a thing like that?
Goldie Delicious: A thing like what?
Applejack: You know what I mean. We got enough work to do without you distractin' Apple Bloom by makin' some apple tracks and pretendin' the Great Seedlin' did it.
Goldie Delicious: [gasps] I did no such thing!
Granny Smith: What in the tater tarnation would make you say a thing like that?!
Applejack: Well, somepony did it. And she sure seems to be enjoyin' this quite a lot.
Goldie Delicious: I'm enjoyin' it because Apple Bloom's enjoyin' it!
Applejack: Uh-huh. And I suppose you two didn't do it either?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Granny Smith: O' course not. But I suppose it could've been Goldie's cats! Why don't you ask them?
[cat meows]
Goldie Delicious: Have you considered that maybe it was the Great Seedlin' after all?
Applejack: Ha-ha. Very funny.
Granny Smith: I swear, sometimes I think she's part mule.
[clattering]
Applejack: Apple Bloom?
Apple Bloom: You know where there's more rope? I've got a lot of traps to make if I'm gonna catch the Great Seedlin'.
[toy squeaks]
Applejack: That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I know you're excited, but we sure could use your help today. Are you sure you want to spend time tryin' to catch somethin' that... might not even be real?
Apple Bloom: What? But the Great Seedlin' is real. You saw the tracks. You think those appeared all by themselves?
Applejack: I don't know who made the tracks. But I don't think it was the Great Seedlin'.
Apple Bloom: Why not?
Applejack: Because the Great Seedlin' is just somethin' to make the harvest fun for young'uns. And you're old enough now to know that there's a time for fun and there's a time for work.
Apple Bloom: But catchin' the Great Seedlin' is helpin'! He can make the trees blossom all the time!
Applejack: [sighs] All right. How about this? If you help me with the harvest today, I'll help you set traps for the Great Seedlin' tonight. Deal?
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo! Yes! It's a deal!
[apples thudding]
[barrels creaking]
[thunk!]
[apples thudding]
Applejack: Kinda looks like those Seedlin' tracks, huh?
Apple Bloom: Sure. If there were hundreds of apples in a bunch of different lines.
Applejack: Well, if enough apples fell or got knocked down by the wind maybe. Or animals.
[beat]
Applejack: I'm just sayin' there's a lot of possible explanations.
Goldie Delicious: And one o' them is the Great Seedlin'!
Applejack: And the rest of 'em ain't!
Granny Smith: That ain't what you thought when you was a foal.
Apple Bloom: What does that mean?
Granny Smith: Your sister was plumb loco about catchin' the Great Seedlin' when she was your age. Same as you are now. Worse, even.
Goldie Delicious: Oh, is that so? Do tell, Granny.
Granny Smith: Well, it must've been the last Conflu-inky, I reckon. I was supposed to keep an eye on your sister, but...
Granny Smith: [voiceover] ...she was slipperier than an apple seed.
Granny Smith: Applejack! Get your flank back here! You're supposed to be sortin' in the barn!
Young Applejack: Sorry, Granny! I got to check my traps, or the Great Seedlin' might get away!
[leaves rustling]
Young Applejack: Now, where'd I put that trap?
[twig snaps]
Young Applejack: [gasps] Whoa!
[thud]
Granny Smith: Bust my buds. Where's that young'un get to?
Granny Smith: [voiceover] She spent the better half of the day stuck in that trap! [laughs]
Applejack: [voiceover] And missed out on helpin' with the harvest because I was chasin' somethin' for little foals. I felt guilty everypony else had to work harder because of me. So I decided right then and there I was too old to waste any more time on Great Seedlin'.
Granny Smith: Oh, we finished the harvest just fine. But we laughed about that story for years! [laughs]
Goldie Delicious: [laughs] I'm still laughin'!
Apple Bloom: I'm sorry that happened, Applejack, but it won't if you and me set traps together like you promised. Plus, we'll get 'em done twice as fast and won't miss out on any of the harvest!
Applejack: Then let's get to work.
Apple Bloom: [gasps]
[montage music]
[rope stretching]
[twang!]
[snap!]
[crunch!]
[leaves rustling]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
[cats meowing]
Winona: [barking, yelps]
[thud]
Winona: [panting]
[tree straining]
[twang!]
[thud]
[cans clattering]
[leaves rustling]
Apple Bloom: [laughs] It sure was fun settin' up all those traps together.
Applejack: [laughs] I forgot what a good time it could be. If any two ponies can catch the Great Seedlin', it's us.
Apple Bloom: I can't wait to check in the mornin'.
Applejack: Now, there's still plenty of harvestin' to do. So promise me you'll help, even if all our traps are empty.
Apple Bloom: I promise. So long as you're ready for the bountiful harvest the Great Seedlin's gonna give us when one of our traps nab him!
Applejack: [laughs] Deal.
[door opens]
[rooster crows]
[rumbling]
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [panting]
Apple Bloom: Come on, Applejack! If we hurry, we can check every trap and still stay on schedule!
Applejack: Now that's what I like to hea—
[whimsical music]
Applejack: Whoa.
Apple Bloom: [gasps] I don't believe it!
Goldie Delicious: This must've taken all night.
[smack!]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Nothin'!
Applejack: Huh?
Apple Bloom: I checked all the traps near the tracks! Every one was sprung, but they're all empty!
Applejack: Every trap sprung? No way critters did this. Or the wind. I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but... maybe the Great Seedlin' really was here!
Goldie Delicious: So, you're finally ready to admit the Great Seedling might be real?
Applejack: I can't think of anything else that could've laid out these tracks and sprung all our traps.
Apple Bloom: And if he left this many tracks behind, he's practically beggin' us to catch him!
Granny Smith: I ain't never seen anything like this before.
Applejack: Well, tell us what you have seen! Goldie, you too! We need to know it all if we're really gonna catch him!
Granny Smith: Sure, Goldie and I'll tell you all about the Great Seedling all day. While we work.
Applejack: Work? Apple Bloom and I don't have time to work today! We've got to set up traps in every row! Even the carrots! Just to be sure!
Apple Bloom: Yesterday you said the Great Seedlin' was just somethin' to make the harvest fun for young'uns.
Applejack: That was before I thought we could actually catch him! Besides...
Big McIntosh: [yawns]
Applejack: ...Big Mac can make time in the schedule for us to set traps, right?
Big McIntosh: Uh... eeyup?
Applejack: Great! Get to it! Apple Bloom and I are gonna go capture us the Great Seedlin'!
Big McIntosh: [sighs]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
[multiple thuds]
[apples thudding]
[barrel creaking]
Big McIntosh: [wheezes]
[multiple thuds]
[thud]
[leaves rustling]
Winona: [barking]
Applejack: Whew! All right! Just one more hill to go!
Apple Bloom: What's wrong, Big Mac?
Applejack: Huh. Is this right?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: But that doesn't make any sense. How can all these trees be bare if we haven't bucked 'em yet?
Goldie Delicious: Seems like more work of the Great Seedlin' to me.
Apple Bloom: How do you mean?
Goldie Delicious: The closer you get to catchin' the critter, the more mischievous he gets.
Applejack: You're sayin' the Great Seedlin' is takin' our apples?
Granny Smith: Yes. Sounds like he's fixin' to throw you off the scent.
[thudding]
[cats meowing]
Applejack: Have you ever heard of anypony actually catchin' him?
Goldie Delicious: Oh, there are stories. But it's hard to say for sure. He's quite a trickster. Guess that's why the reward is so great if you can trap him.
Applejack: Well, his tricks have given me an idea. Settin' traps is one thing. But I reckon if we keep watch over the trees that haven't been bucked, the Seedlin' won't know what hit him!
Apple Bloom: That's a great idea! Anypony else want to stay up with us?
Granny Smith: Ah, no. A pony like me needs her beauty rest. But you young'uns have a good time.
Goldie Delicious: My kitties can't sleep unless they're curled up on my haunches. [titters] But I can't wait to see the Great Seedlin' with my own eyes once you catch him.
Applejack: Guess it's just you and me.
[paper tears]
Apple Bloom: Too bad nopony else wanted to come out. But I'm glad we're doin' this together.
Applejack: [chuckles] Me, too. It's been a long time since I was on a real Seedlin' hunt. And this is the first time doin' it with my little sister.
Apple Bloom: [yawns] When did you start tryin' to catch the Great Seedlin'?
Applejack: I couldn't have been much more than a foal. I remember our parents tuckin' Big Mac and me in and tellin' us all about the Great Seedlin'. And I got so excited, I could barely sleep. So I—
Apple Bloom: [snoring]
Applejack: Don't you worry, sugarcube. I won't let him get away.
Applejack: [snoring]
[clatter!]
Apple Bloom: [yelps]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
Apple Bloom: [whispering] Applejack, wake up!
Applejack: Huh? W-What is it?
Apple Bloom: [whispering] I think a trap went off!
Applejack: Well, let's go check it out!
Applejack: See anything?
Apple Bloom: Mm-mm.
Applejack: Don't scare him off. We got to lead him into one of the traps.
Apple Bloom: [whimpers] I'm not worried about scarin' him.
[galloping]
[twig snaps]
[leaves rustling]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
[cans clattering]
Apple Bloom: I think the Great Seedlin's huntin' us! [screams]
Applejack: Apple Bloom! Wait!
Apple Bloom: [panting]
[twang!]
Applejack: [panting] Huh?
Apple Bloom: [whimpering] Applejack!
Applejack: Huh?
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [scream]
Applejack: [panting]
[thudding]
[rattling]
Big McIntosh: [snoring]
Applejack and Apple Bloom: Big Mac?!
Applejack: He's been harvestin' in his sleep this whole time!
Apple Bloom: Big Mac is the Great Seedlin'?!
Big McIntosh: [mumbling] Aah!
[whiffle!]
[thud!]
Applejack: Y-You okay, Big Mac?
Big McIntosh: Nnnope.
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [laugh]
Applejack: ...And thanks to all of Big Mac's late-night work, we brought in the whole harvest with time to spare.
Goldie Delicious: No wonder you were so tired all the time.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: I'm glad we solved the mystery, but I really wanted to catch the Great Seedlin' before I get too old to try.
Applejack: You know what, sugarcube? You're never too old to be a filly. There will always be work to do, but havin' fun together is somethin' you never grow out of.
Winona: [panting]
Goldie Delicious: Well, looks like you don't need me anymore. Time to get home before Dottie gets in the catnip again. I have stories about that, I'll tell you what.
Applejack: [chuckles] We're real glad you came, Goldie.
Apple Bloom: Sure are! Come back next year!
Goldie Delicious: [whistles]
[cats meowing]
Goldie Delicious: Oh. Looks like you forgot to clean up the carrots.
Applejack: Huh. Big Mac wasn't harvestin' the carrots. Just the apples.
Big McIntosh: ["I-don't-know" sound]
[whimsical music]
Applejack: You know what this means?
Apple Bloom: Time for another hunt!
Applejack: Look out, Great Seedlin'! Here we come!
[credits]

Student Counsel

Trixie: I know how hard you've been working lately, so I figured you could use a break.
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Trixie, this looks amazing! But my job doesn't really seem like work.
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! Speaking of...
[teleportation zap]
Trixie: [sighs, blows, sips]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Sure, being counselor for the students at Twilight's School of Friendship is demanding, but—
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. One sec.
[teleportation zap]
Trixie: [sips]
[spoon clattering]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: What was I saying? Oh, right. Being able to use the experiences of my checkered past and help young students feels pretty great. Oh, yum! [chomps] Mmm, thanks!
Trixie: Of course I feel nothing but admiration for the work you do, but it is a little all-consuming. And I miss spending time with you.
Starlight Glimmer: What are you talking about? We're spending time right now.
Trixie: Well...
Starlight Glimmer: [chewing]
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: [mouth full] Hold that thought.
[teleportation zap]
Trixie: [growls, chomps]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Sorry. I cast a spell on the door to my office so this bracelet goes off whenever there's a knock. Yona is having the worst time with her braids lately. [sips] Anyway, you were saying?
Trixie: [sips]
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously]
[theme song]
Silverstream: I totally respect my younger cousins' decisions to stay seaponies, but they've never been on dry land. Preparing for a visit with them is almost as much work as the research assignment Headmare Twilight gave me on hazardous fauna of the Everfree Forest! How would you describe a shower to creatures who live in water? So far, I've got "warm" and "steamy". Actually, steam has water in it.
Starlight Glimmer: Silverstream, there are a lot of students who want to see me today.
Silverstream: I just need a few shower adjectives... that don't rely on the wet part.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] Well, there's "clean", "relaxing", um...
Silverstream: "Relaxing"... I don't know. A nap's relaxing, too. "Warm" and "clean" are okay. Wow. I have to give this some more thought.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Okay. Well, I'm here to help. My door is always open.
Trixie: Except for today, of course.
[door closes]
Student Pony: [whimpers]
Trixie: If we leave now, we can finish everything before sundown.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, I-I can't leave. It's almost spring break. Twilight and the others have already left to celebrate the spring solstice in Canterlot, and I have to help the students with any issues before they head home for the holiday.
[bracelet chiming/knocking on door]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Trixie: I know you're busy, but I hope you haven't forgotten about the Spring Solst-astic!
[beat]
Trixie: The party Maud and Mudbriar are throwing?
[beat]
Trixie: Sunburst is coming to town?
[beat]
Trixie: You and I promised to make the cake?
Starlight Glimmer: [scoffs] How could I possibly forget about that?
[bracelet chiming/knocking on door]
[door opens]
Trixie: [low growl]
[door closes]
Trixie: Nopony is saying your job isn't important, but plans you make with your friends are important, too.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forgotten. Obviously I need to be available to my students, but that doesn't mean I can't help with all the things we have to do.
Trixie: Good!
Starlight Glimmer: Great!
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: So... what are all the things we have to do?
Trixie: [whines] Maud needs streamers for the decorations. Sunburst wants us to pick up a genuine pre-Equestrian spring solstice chafing dish from the antique shop.
Starlight Glimmer: Of course he does.
Trixie: Mudbriar wants a bouquet of flowering sticks – whatever that means. And I thought we were both looking forward to Mrs. Cake teaching us the secret recipe to her famous spring solstice cake.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh! I-I totally am! [chuckles] But we could just buy a cake from her, right?
Trixie: We could... but then we'd miss out on baking together. Plus, the time I spent flattering and convincing and begging her to share the recipe with you for nothing! And we promised to make a cake, not buy a cake! And the Great and Powerful Trixie keeps her promises!
Starlight Glimmer: Okay! Why don't we just split up these jobs? I'll get the streamers and the chafing dish. You—
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: —get started on those sticks, and I'll be right back! [laughs nervously] You know, why don't I just hang on to this? Don't want to forget the things I just said I'd take care of. Because I am totally gonna take care of them!
[teleportation zap]
Rose: Could it be plum blossom?
Trixie: I have no idea.
[teleportation zap]
Trixie: [yelps]
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: Whoops! Heh. Sorry, Rose. But I need a bouquet of flowering sticks, stat!
Trixie: I thought I was getting the flowering sticks.
Rose: Uh, I'm still not exactly sure what they are.
Trixie: No one is.
Starlight Glimmer: Right. Got it. You get the sticks. I'll get the streamers—
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: —riiiight after I take care of what I'm sure is an even smaller student problem than the last one! [laughs nervously]
[teleportation zap]
[glue squirting]
Silverstream: I think I have the shower thing under control. But I can't figure out how to describe a towel.
[bracelet chiming]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Now, Smolder, I understand the school can be a bit drafty, but that doesn't mean you can breathe fire anywhere you want!
Starlight Glimmer: What do you mean Trixie already picked up Sunburst's genuine pre-Equestrian equinox chafing dish?! That was my job! I think. Wait. Was it?
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
[teleportation zap]
[transformation zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: Ocellus, it's perfectly normal for a changeling to struggle with identity issues, but—
Silverstream: Counselor Starlight!
[door opens]
Silverstream: When you're done, I need some synonyms for the word "dry". Or, really, just help explaining the concept.
[door closes]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Wait, Mrs. Cake! You can't close! Trixie and I need to learn the recipe for your equinox cake!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, it's fine, dear. Trixie was already here. I told her everything she needs to know.
Starlight Glimmer: What? No! Aww! The Great and Powerful Trixie might keep her promises, but the Busy and Distracted Starlight sure doesn't. I promised to help her today, and I haven't done a single thing.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, that doesn't sound hard, dear. A-And I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but [whispering] your hoof is glowing.
[bracelet chiming]
Starlight Glimmer: Of course it is.
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
[click]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie? What are you doing here?
Trixie: It's the one place I knew I could find you.
Starlight Glimmer: I am so sorry about today. I'm just so—
Trixie: Busy. I know. Obviously your students are more important than your friends.
Starlight Glimmer: That's not—!
[bracelet chiming/knocking on door]
[door opens]
Silverstream: Starlight, you have a minute?
Starlight Glimmer: Actually, Silverstream, I don't. Besides, I need to lock up the school for the holiday, and it's time you caught the train home. I'm sure a smart and capable student like you can figure out the solution to any problem over the break. But for now, the counselor's office is closed.
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: I have a cake to bake.
[clatter]
Sunburst: Yow! Is this cake supposed to be so sharp?
Trixie: [growls]
Sunburst: I mean, it looks really... interesting?
Mudbriar: Technically, it's not symmetrical or aesthetically pleasing.
Trixie: [growls]
Starlight Glimmer: Maybe it's not the best cake. But we made it together, and that's what counts.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm glad you brought it. And everything else. I'm very excited. This is going to be the most perfect party ever.
Trixie: And with all of your students home for the holiday, I won't have to worry about you being summoned to your office in the middle of it.
Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm. Nothing is gonna take me away from this party.
Terramar: Hello?! Starlight?!
Starlight Glimmer: [spits]
Terramar: Starlight?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Sorry. This is a private cavern.
Terramar: Is Starlight here?! I was told she'd be here!
Starlight Glimmer: What's wrong?
Terramar: I'm Terramar, Silverstream's brother. I've been looking all over for you. Silverstream is missing!
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
Trixie: [chewing]
Starlight Glimmer: I don't understand. Silverstream didn't come home?
Terramar: Mm-mm. I was supposed to meet her at the Mount Aris train station, but she never showed up!
Sunburst: It's a long way between Ponyville and Mount Aris. She could be anywhere.
Terramar: Our parents are leading teams of Hippogriffs and seaponies, searching the land and sea between here and our home. They sent me to check the school.
Starlight Glimmer: But the school's closed. All the students are gone.
Terramar: Are you sure? I know she had a big project due for Twilight. Do you think she might've stayed to finish it?
Starlight Glimmer: She never told me about a project.
Trixie: Well, to be fair, you closed your office the last time she came by.
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
Trixie: [short laugh]
Terramar: What kind of counselor turns away a student with a problem?!
Trixie: The kind with too much on her plate! Starlight has always gone out of her way for her students. And I mean always.
Starlight Glimmer: Except apparently when it matters. This is all my fault! You all go back to the party. Terramar and I will check the school. We'll find your sister.
[teleportation zap]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I should've known it couldn't last. Party perfection is more of a Pinkie thing.
Mudbriar: Mm. I wasn't going to say anything, but these flowers are just glued on, so technically, it wasn't perfect already.
[beat]
Mudbriar: But that's probably not important.
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: You check the grounds, and I'll look inside.
[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: Silverstream?
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [echoing] Hello?
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: Anycreature?!
[splash]
[teleportation zap]
Terramar: [panting] She's not down here.
Starlight Glimmer: I don't see her anywhere.
Terramar: Did you check her room?
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, she's not here.
Terramar: No, she isn't. But look at this.
Starlight Glimmer: A cockatrice?
Terramar: Could that be what her project was on? You don't think she went into the Everfree Forest to find a cockatrice by herself, do you?
Starlight Glimmer: I don't know, but I'm going to find out.
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: [laughs nervously]
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
All: [yelps]
Starlight Glimmer: What are you all doing here?
Sunburst: We came to help.
Trixie: We couldn't let you handle this alone.
Mudbriar: Technically, she wasn't alone.
[beat]
Mudbriar: But we wanted to help anyway.
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks. All of you. But the students are my responsibility. I'm the one who didn't do my job when it actually mattered.
Trixie: I... might share a bit of the blame for pressuring you into leaving work early.
Starlight Glimmer: But I don't want to ruin your party.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] We can still have a party. A search party.
Terramar: Can we talk about all this later? Silverstream might be in the Everfree Forest alone!
Trixie and Sunburst: [gasp]
Starlight Glimmer: We think she went in to do research on cockatrices.
Sunburst: What?! The gaze of the cockatrice is known to petrify any who dare to cross its path! And the reptilian birds are elusive and solitary! W-Where would we even start?!
Trixie: I have a lot of experience telling ponies that I have experience with the dangerous creatures of Everfree Forest! Follow me!
[zip!]
[tense music]
Trixie: The Great and Directionally Astute Trixie says we go left!
Trixie: This way!
Trixie: [sniffs]
[wind whistling]
[owl hoots]
Trixie: [slurp, chews, spits]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Weren't we just here?
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, do you have any idea how to find a cockatrice?
Trixie: No. But usually, when there's a dangerous creature in the forest I don't want to meet, this is how I meet them.
Sunburst: We might need a more concrete plan.
Trixie: Hmph. Suit yourself.
Terramar: Um, according to Silverstream's research, the cockatrice prefers rocky terrain and ample shade.
Trixie: Rocks and shade. Hmm. I can't imagine where we'll find that in a forest.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Actually, rocks aren't the most hospitable environment for shade trees.
Mudbriar: Technically, pine trees like Pinus cembra or Pinus sylvestris can grow from narrow crevasses or cracks in a rocky rhizosphere.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You complete me.
Starlight Glimmer: There's some pine trees over there!
[cockatrices clucking and hissing]
Starlight Glimmer: [whispering] I thought you said they were solitary!
Sunburst: [whispering] They are! This must be some kind of migration.
Terramar: [whimpers] At least there's no sign of Silverstream. I can't imagine getting caught in the middle of that flock.
Trixie: [whispering] It's just lucky we're all over here and they're all over there.
[cockatrice hisses]
Mudbriar: Technically—
Trixie: [whispering] Don't even say it!
Starlight Glimmer: Whatever you do, don't look at them. Their gaze can turn you to stone.
Terramar: [whispering] So what do we do?
[cockatrices hiss]
Sunburst: Ruuuuun!
[teleportation zap]
[cockatrices squawk]
Sunburst: [screaming]
[thud]
Sunburst: [groans, babbles]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst!
[magic zap]
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: Aah!
Starlight Glimmer: Stop! It's me!
Sunburst: Starlight! I'm so sorry. We have to get out of here.
Starlight Glimmer: I know. Hang on.
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: We can't leave Silverstream might still be in the forest. Stay here. I'll get the others.
[teleportation zap]
Sunburst: Be careful!
[clucking and hissing]
Terramar: The clucking is coming from everywhere!
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie fears no cluck!
[poof!]
[cockatrices hiss]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Come on!
[teleportation zap]
[cockatrices hiss]
[teleportation zap]
Sunburst: Aah!
[teleportation zap]
[cockatrices hiss]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Maud! We've got to get out of here!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I'm not leaving him.
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps]
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Trixie, Sunburst, and Terramar: [gasps]
Sunburst: Mudbriar's been turned to stone?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I didn't think I could love him any more.
Trixie: We've got to get out of here!
Terramar: But we haven't found Silverstream! We can't leave yet!
[cockatrices hiss]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, we can't stay here! Come on!
[cockatrices hissing]
[leaves rustling]
[cockatrice clucks]
Starlight Glimmer: [screams]
[cockatrices hissing]
Starlight Glimmer: This way!
[cockatrices hiss]
[doors open]
[doors close]
[thudding]
Trixie: Now what?!
Sunburst: Let's hope Silverstream found a good place to hide. There could be hundreds more cockatrices on the way. If this really is a migration, it'll take a full lunar cycle to complete.
Terramar: Ohhh. I have to get word back to our parents that Silverstream could be surrounded by those terrifying birds!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] And as handsome as Mudbriar is now, we should probably catch one of them to turn him back to normal.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] This is all my fault. I'm never taking time off from my counseling duties again.
Trixie: That seems a little extreme.
Starlight Glimmer: Really?! If I hadn't galloped off to a holiday celebration, Silverstream would be safe with her family, and you'd all be enjoying Maud's party! Instead, my student is missing, we're surrounded by a flock of petrifying chicken-snakes, and Maud's boyfriend was turned into a hunk of rock!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You got the "hunk" part right.
Starlight Glimmer: And to top it off, we have no idea if Silverstream even came to Everfree at all! But I have no idea where else to look!
Trixie: Has that always been there?
Starlight Glimmer: What? Oh, that's the students' treehouse. Apparently it grew from the Tree of Harmony and— [gasps] Of course! That should've been the first place we looked!
[scraping]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs, gasps] Silverstream, look out!
Silverstream: Counselor Starlight, no!
Edith: [hisses]
Silverstream: Wait!
[magic humming]
Edith: [clucking softly]
Silverstream: This is Edith. She's helping me with my project.
Starlight Glimmer: I... don't understand.
Silverstream: After you encouraged me to solve my own problem, I decided to get my project done before I left. That way, I could really focus on my family during my visit. The school was closed, so I came here.
Terramar: Why didn't you tell anyone? Mom and Dad are worried sick!
Silverstream: Oh, no! I'm so sorry! Once Edith volunteered to help, I guess I lost track of time. Cockatrices are really friendly if you know how to interact with them.
Edith: [clucking softly]
Sunburst: I can't believe you figured out how to trigger her nesting response.
Silverstream: They are really fascinating creatures. Did you know that they migrate to the Everfree Forest once a year? Can you imagine what would happen if you stumble on a whole flock of these?
Starlight Glimmer: I have a few ideas.
Silverstream: [gasps]
Silverstream: I'm sorry you got turned to stone looking for me. But I'm glad Edith was able to turn you back.
Sunburst: [hushed, to Trixie] How do you tell the difference?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I have mixed feelings about it.
Mudbriar: Technically, I will always be a stick pony. But the experience has given me an even deeper appreciation for the density and permanence of rock.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Swoon.
Terramar: Silverstream and I should get going. But I wanted to thank you for everything you did to help find her.
Starlight Glimmer: I just wish I hadn't abandoned her in the first place.
Trixie: Starlight, you didn't abandon her.
Starlight Glimmer: I might as well have. Even though it turned out all right, things could've been a lot worse.
Sunburst: You can't be expected to supervise your students every second of every day.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm not so sure.
Silverstream: I like that you're always available, but it kind of makes it okay to come to you with stuff that maybe isn't super important.
Trixie: Of course being a school counselor is a big responsibility. But always being at work isn't fair to anypony. Especially me.
Starlight Glimmer: Do you think if I had set times to see me, it might help you decide what you really need to talk about?
Silverstream: To be honest, you really weren't very helpful with the other stuff anyway.
Starlight Glimmer: Yeah— Wait, what?!
Trixie: Happy Spring Solst-astic, everypony! Who wants a piece of Mrs. Cake's famous—?
[clang!]
Sunburst: Petrified dessert?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] You had me at "petrified".
All except Maud Pie: [laughing]
[credits]

The Last Crusade

Skeedaddle: [panting] Cutie Mark Crusaders! Cutie Mark Crusaders! Cutie Mark Crusaders! Cutie Mark Crusaders!
Scootaloo: We're at my house!
[door opens]
Skeedaddle: I got my cutie mark!
Sweetie Belle: You did?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: That's great, Skeedaddle!
Scootaloo: Yeah! What's it for?
Skeedaddle: Knot-tying! And I never would've gotten it without all of you!
Apple Bloom: Did we suggest knot-tying?
Skeedaddle: [to Sweetie Belle] First, I tried sailing, like you said. [to Scootaloo] Next, I tried fishing, like you said. [to Apple Bloom] Then, I tried rowing, like you said. But my oar broke. So I used my fishing line to tie it back together, and I got my cutie mark! [squeals] I can't wait to tell everypony!
[zip!]
[door closes]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheer]
Aunt Holiday: Oh, how exciting. You three truly have a gift for helping ponies.
Scootaloo: Aw, thanks, Aunt Holiday. But I'm not sure we can take credit for this one.
Aunt Holiday: Of course you can. You encouraged that colt to try new things. And because you all believed in him, he succeeded.
Auntie Lofty: I could use that kind of help. Huh.
Scootaloo: [laughs] Come on, Auntie Lofty. You already have your cutie mark.
Auntie Lofty: Lot of good it does me. I can't decide what theme to give this quilt. Ah, I've run out of inspiration.
Apple Bloom: How about apples? Puppies? Kites!
Sweetie Belle: Or cotton candy! Or ballet!
Scootaloo: What about a Wonderbolt quilt?
Auntie Lofty: [laughs] See? Leave it to you three to come up with more ideas than I've had in a year! Now, that's talent.
[cuckoo clock]
Aunt Holiday: Goodness. We'd better get going, or we'll miss our train home. I left you plenty of healthy food for the weekend.
Auntie Lofty: And I left you cookies. [chuckles]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Aunt Holiday: The Cakes will stay with you tonight. Then Rarity, and Rainbow Dash after that. Remember, we're just a few stops from Ponyville if you need us.
Auntie Lofty: She knows, Holiday. See you next week, slugger.
Scootaloo: Bye, Aunt Holiday! Bye, Auntie Lofty!
[door closes]
Sweetie Belle: Your aunts are so nice.
Apple Bloom: Yeah. It's really cool they watch you while your parents are gone.
Scootaloo: I know. I just wish they lived closer. Nopony bakes like Auntie Lofty.
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Scootaloo: [gasps] They're coming home today!
Sweetie Belle: Who?
Scootaloo: My parents!
[theme song]
Cheerilee: Today, we're gonna learn about the Pegasus Weather Factory.
[door creaks]
Cheerilee: Once everypony is in their seats.
[door closes]
Cheerilee: The factory specializes in snow, rain, sunshine, and... [clears throat] Scootaloo? May I help you?
Scootaloo: I... just noticed your erasers needed dusting. [nervous laugh]
[soft thuds]
Cheerilee and foals: [coughing]
Cheerilee: Why don't we hold off on the lesson until after lunch? How about show and tell? Does anypony have any—?
Scootaloo: My parents are coming home to Ponyville today!
Snips: Wait. They don't live here?
Scootaloo: Nope. Their jobs are way too important for that. They travel to the farthest, most dangerous places in Equestria to study unknown plants and fierce creatures. And what they learn helps pony science and medicine. I'd go with them, but it's too dangerous. Once, my mom had to wing-wrestle a wyvern, and my dad got trapped in a chimera's cave for three moons! He still has the scars to prove it.
Snips: [scoffs] You're making that up. Nopony has that kind of job.
[loud thuds]
[cragadile roars]
Foals: [gasp, scream]
Cheerilee: It's a cragadile!
[cragadile growling]
[crash!]
Snap Shutter: Easy there, Marshmallow! Time you were in your crate for your nap! [grunting]
[cragadile growling]
Mane Allgood: And that means now, mister!
[cragadile whimpers]
[clunk]
[door closes]
Scootaloo: [gasps] Mom! Dad! [squeals]
Apple Bloom: Still think she's makin' it all up?
Snips: Nuh-uh...
Scootaloo: Everypony, meet my parents – Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood!
Snap Shutter: Heh. Sorry to make such an entrance. Just brought back a few mates from our last adventure.
Mane Allgood: We couldn't wait another moment to see Scootaloo! I hope we didn't interrupt anything.
[hooves rattling]
Cheerilee: No, I, uh... think... class is dismissed.
[students chattering]
Snap Shutter: Crikey! You're nearly as tall as me now, Scoot!
Scootaloo: Aw, come on, Dad.
Mane Allgood: Oh, Scootaloo. We missed you.
Scootaloo: Me, too, Mom. Did you get all my letters?
Mane Allgood: And read them twenty times! But they're never as good as the real thing. It's so good to see you.
Snap Shutter: I say we celebrate with ice cream sundaes. They don't have those in the jungle, that's for sure.
Mane Allgood: Why don't you all come? Our treat.
Scootaloo: And Princess Twilight said we're such good friendship tutors, she might even let us teach a class!
Snap Shutter: Good on ya, Scoot!
Mane Allgood: What an honor!
Scootaloo: I can give you a tour of the school if you want. I mean, if you're staying for a while this time.
Snap Shutter: Oh, you'll be seeing plenty of us.
Scootaloo: Really?!
Mane Allgood: Mm-hmm. Because we've taken a new job assignment that will let all of us live together!
Scootaloo: I can't believe it! That's awesome!
Apple Bloom: All right, Scootaloo!
Sweetie Belle: Woo-hoo!
Snap Shutter: We never planned to be away for so long in the first place. We just kept discovering things that could help Equestria. And nopony else had the experience to finish our job.
Mane Allgood: But with all that's happened lately – Sombra's return, the destruction of the Tree of Harmony – we decided our family should be together.
Scootaloo: This is the best day of my life.
Snap Shutter: We'll stay in town for the weekend so you can pack your things.
Scootaloo: Wait, what?!
Mane Allgood: We're all moving to Shire Lanka! That's where our new job is.
Scootaloo: But... my friends are in Ponyville.
Snap Shutter: You can come back and visit 'em. Or they can take the train to us. There's one every month.
Apple Bloom: But Scootaloo can't leave!
Sweetie Belle: We've been together our whole lives!
Mane Allgood: It'll be a big change for everypony. But it'll be a good change. Give it time. You'll see.
Scootaloo: The only thing I see... is the end of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! [sniffling]
[gavel pounding]
Apple Bloom: [sniffles] I now call our last ever Cutie Mark Crusader meeting to order. First item of business... [sobbing] CRY!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [crying]
[pounding]
Scootaloo: You can't let the blank flanks down just 'cause I'm gone. You got to keep being CMCs without me.
Sweetie Belle: [sniffles] How?! There's only two of us!
Scootaloo: [sobbing] Maybe you can find a replacement for me.
Sweetie Belle: No, we can't! You're the only... you!
Apple Bloom: [sobbing] Nothin's gonna be the same! Who's gonna ride their scooter ahead of us everywhere we go?
Sweetie Belle: [sobbing] Or... Or put on plays with us? Or go camping with us? Or just hang out with us?!
Scootaloo: [sobbing] Well, it's worse for me! I have to say goodbye to both of—!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Guess who just got three front-row tickets to the Wonderbolts show next week!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [whine, bawling]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, that is not the reaction I was expecting.
Scootaloo: [sniffles] Thanks for the tickets, Rainbow Dash. But I can't go.
Apple Bloom: Her parents are makin' her move super far away from Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash: What?! No way! Scootaloo belongs here!
Sweetie Belle: [sobbing] And now we'll probably never see her again! It's hopeless!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [crying]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I cannot believe you're giving up so easily. You're the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Solving tough problems is what you do.
Scootaloo: [sniffles] We are pretty good at coming up with ideas.
Sweetie Belle: That's right. When we work together, we're unstoppable!
Apple Bloom: I can't believe we didn't think of it before. It's list time, y'all! First question – why do Scootaloo's parents want to move to Shire Lanka?
Scootaloo: That's where their new job is.
Sweetie Belle: [gasps] What if we get them a job here instead?
Apple Bloom: Yeah! They like dangerous creatures, right? We got to have some of those around here. Like, uh, Timberwolves!
Scootaloo: Dad knows all about those. And cockatrices and bugbears. They only study super rare animals.
Sweetie Belle: Then maybe we need to give them an animal nopony's ever heard of!
Apple Bloom: Uh, then how would we hear about it?
Sweetie Belle: Because we're making it up! Come on!
Rainbow Dash: Sooooo... you want these tickets, or...?
[leaves rustling]
Scootaloo: This is what I wanted to show you. The tracks of the mysterious Everfree banshee beast!
Mane Allgood: Hmmm... They're like nothing I've ever seen.
Scootaloo: Legend says it has five claws and three wings. And it's suuuuper dangerous if you get close. If only somepony could prove it exists.
Snap Shutter: Hmmm... Easy enough. We'll follow the spoor.
Scootaloo: [panicked whimpering] I think I heard something this way.
[leaves rustling]
[camera clicks]
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [grunting]
Apple Bloom: So the plan is we let 'em get a picture, then we hide again. Right?
Sweetie Belle: [straining]
[twig snaps]
[camera clicks]
Sweetie Belle: Now the plan is... run!
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: [panting]
[snap!]
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Aah! Oof!
Scootaloo: [nervous laugh] Guess you solved the mystery.
Mane Allgood: We'd better get back. There's a lot to get ready before the house goes up for sale tomorrow.
Scootaloo: [whines]
Sweetie Belle: Don't worry, Scootaloo. We have a new plan to keep you in Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: We just got to show your parents we're a set of three. Then they'll have to let you stay here with us.
[camera clicks]
Snap Shutter: Scoot, are these yours?
Scootaloo: Yeah. Thanks, Dad. We're sending them to the Pony Book of Records.
Sweetie Belle: We're the only three ponies in Equestria with the same cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: The chances of that are so rare. It means we belong together forever.
Snap Shutter: Yeah, but you don't have the same cutie mark.
Apple Bloom: [short laugh] Sure we do. Look!
Snap Shutter: Well, this part is the same. But the picture inside each of these is different. I think it means you'll stay best friends no matter where you go, and that's really special.
Scootaloo: But... we... [sighs] How do you argue with that?
Scootaloo: [sighs]
[door opens]
Apple Bloom: All right, y'all. Time to take things up a notch.
Scootaloo: With prune juice?
Apple Bloom: It's a potion I mixed up from Zecora's book. Prune is only one of the ingredients.
Sweetie Belle: What's it do?
Apple Bloom: [reading] "On this potion, please depend. Any separation, mend. Friends together 'til the end." We just got to dab a little on our hooves. Sounds perfect, right?
Scootaloo: Better than perfect!
[drops splash]
Sweetie Belle: Is something supposed to happen?
[magic sounds]
[snap!]
Sweetie Belle: Is this the something that's supposed to happen?!
Apple Bloom: The book didn't really say.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa... W-Whoa... Whoa! [grunt]
Scootaloo: Thanks for trying, Apple Bloom. But I might as well face it. I'm gonna have to leave Ponyville.
Apple Bloom: Don't give up, Scootaloo. This just gave me an even better idea how to keep you here. Come on!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whoa! [grunt]
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we'd better see Zecora about fixing this first.
Scootaloo: We're running out of time.
[chains jangling]
Scootaloo: This has to work!
[door opens]
Mane Allgood: Scootaloo, I know you're having fun with your friends, but we need to get all our things to the station.
Snap Shutter: We can't miss tomorrow's train. It's the only one for a month.
Scootaloo: Then you'll just have to go without me! I'm staying with the CMCs!
Sweetie Belle: We're chained to this post!
Apple Bloom: And nothin' and nopony is gonna move us! No matter... what.
Snap Shutter: We just sold the house, Scoot. I know this is hard to accept, but just—
Scootaloo: It's more than hard! It's not fair! You're making me pick between my family and my friends!
Mane Allgood: Oh, Scootaloo. Moving away won't stop you three from caring about each other. Why don't you sleep over with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom tonight? It'll give you a chance to say a real goodbye.
Scootaloo: But I don't want to say goodbye! You're changing my whole life without even asking how I feel! [crying]
Apple Bloom: [panting] Scootaloo!
Sweetie Belle: Where are you going?
Scootaloo: To stay with my aunts. [tearing up] You heard my parents. There isn't another train to Shire Lanka for a month. If I'm not on it, they'll have to go without me.
Apple Bloom: Then we're comin' with ya!
Scootaloo: Are you sure? I don't want to get you in trouble.
Sweetie Belle: Rarity won't be mad.
Apple Bloom: Applejack neither. I bet she'd do the same thing for her friends.
Scootaloo: You're the best, you know that?
Apple Bloom: We're the best.
Sweetie Belle: Together!
[train whistle blows]
[brakes hiss]
[train chugging]
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Aunt Holiday: [gasps] Scootaloo! What a nice surprise.
Auntie Lofty: And I've got a surprise for you! You three inspired me to finish my quilt. See? It's Cutie Mark Crusader-themed!
Aunt Holiday: We love hearing stories about all the ponies you've helped. So Lofty decided to celebrate the special job you three do.
Scootaloo: [sighs]
Auntie Lofty: It's... still a work-in-progress.
Scootaloo: It's not your quilt we're sad about, Auntie Lofty. Mom and Dad are back. And they're making me move to Shire Lanka with them!
Aunt Holiday: Snap and Mane are back? They didn't tell me that.
Scootaloo: Oh. I think the mailpony delivered your letter to my house. I love my family, but I love being with my friends, too. I don't want to have to choose.
Auntie Lofty: Well, then why don't your parents stay in Ponyville?
Scootaloo: Their job is too important.
Apple Bloom: That's it!
Sweetie Belle: Is this another potion idea?
Apple Bloom: No. Scootaloo's parents are the only ponies in Equestria that can do what they do, right?
Scootaloo: Right...
Apple Bloom: Well, so are we! Our cutie marks prove it!
Sweetie Belle: Yeah... Our job is to help other ponies find their purpose!
Scootaloo: And nopony else can do that! So if my parents split us up, it'd be just as bad as them quitting their jobs!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Woo-hoo! [laughing]
Apple Bloom: Now, how do we explain that to 'em?
Aunt Holiday: Oh, you don't have to explain it.
Auntie Lofty: They will.
Mane Allgood: Feeling better, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: A little. I just want to show you something before we go.
Snap Shutter: All right, but let's make it swift. That train won't wait.
Snap Shutter: Sweet Celestia's slippers!
Mane Allgood: What is all this?
Rainbow Dash: It's Cutie Mark Crusader Appreciation Day! But we couldn't start without all of them here.
Ponies: CMCs! CMCs! CMCs! CMCs! CMCs! CMCs!
Mayor Mare: These three ponies share a rare ability to help others find their true purpose. It's a job only they can do, and only together.
Mane Allgood: That sounds familiar.
Mayor Mare: In honor of all they have done and continue to do for the ponies of this town, I would like to present the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a three-handled Key to the City!
Ponies: [cheering]
[zooming]
Snap Shutter: A full Wonderbolt salute!
Aunt Holiday: Oh, I'm not sure you know just how important Scootaloo and her friends are, little brother.
Auntie Lofty: But you're about to find out.
Skeedaddle: The CMCs used their free time to set up a camp to help us blank flanks find our cutie marks. The Cutie Mark Crusaders see the best in everypony, even when that pony can't see it in themselves.
Snap Shutter: Well, I'll be a three-tailed bandicoot. I had no idea how important Scoot's club was.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, it's way more than just a club. The CMCs have made a difference for everypony here.
Terramar: And not just ponies. They help everycreature.
Aunt Holiday: Whether it's encouraging others to discover their special talent...
[hooves tapping]
Auntie Lofty: ...or inspiring them to do what's in their heart...
Aunt Holiday: ...these three offer the town something no other pony can.
[train whistle blows]
Rainbow Dash: No way! After all that, you're still gonna make her leave?!
Mane Allgood: We just want what's best for Scootaloo. And until now, we thought we knew what that was.
Snap Shutter: [sighs] Turns out you're just like us, Scoot. You have an important job that only you can do. You love it, and it helps all of Equestria.
Mane Allgood: Sometimes that means missing out on other things you love, like watching our daughter grow into a pony we're very proud of.
Snap Shutter: Which is a long way to say... Scoot, if you want to stay, we understand.
Scootaloo: [gasps] Really?! [tearing up] Thanks, Dad! Thanks, Mom!
Mane Allgood: Oh, sweetie, I'm just sorry we didn't realize it sooner.
Snap Shutter: Our work is our life's purpose. We could never quit. So there's no way we can ask you to do the same.
Auntie Lofty: Maybe you should've thought of that before you sold the house.
Aunt Holiday: Lofty, don't tease my brother. We already have a solution worked out.
Auntie Lofty: Since the CMCs make Ponyville such a nice place, we've decided to move here.
Aunt Holiday: You can live with us, Scootaloo. If you'd like.
Scootaloo: That would be amazing! Will you... still come and visit?
Mane Allgood: Of course!
Snap Shutter: Rabid bugbears couldn't keep us away.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: You get to stay here! You get to stay here! You get to stay here! [laugh]
Apple Bloom: Uh... you are stayin' here, right?
Scootaloo: Are you kidding? CMCs forever!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheer]
Ponies: [cheering]
[credits]

Between Dark and Dawn

[stomping]
Twilight Sparkle: Remind me how this happened again!
[crunch]
Applejack: And why there's a giant turtle eatin' my family's entire summer crop!
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. Mr. Tortoise-Snap said he was hungry. But he promised me he would only take a few small bites.
Rainbow Dash: I don't think that thing knows what "small" is.
Mr. Tortoise-Snap: [gulps]
[stomping]
Spike: Aah!
Rarity: Spikey-Wikey!
Spike: Whoa!
Mr. Tortoise-Snap: [chomps]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack and Pinkie, you distract him! Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy, let's save Spike!
Applejack: [grunting]
[whirring]
Mr. Tortoise-Snap: [low growl]
[snap!]
Fluttershy: Mr. Tortoise-Snap, I'm only asking nicely once! Let my friend go!
Mr. Tortoise-Snap: [low growl]
Spike: Whoa! Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: And now, a simple teleportation spell should—
Princess Celestia: Halt, interloper!
Princess Luna: Stay back, friends! My sister and I will take care of the beast!
[magic zaps]
Rainbow Dash: All the times we've actually needed their help, and they show up for this?
[whooshing]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: That's just what I was about to do!
Princess Luna: [laughs] Goodness, sister! That was fun!
Princess Celestia: No need to thank us. To be honest, we've recently realized we like being part of the action.
Princess Luna: Experiencing life instead of just dreaming about it.
Princess Celestia: And making a difference outside the throne room.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [laughing]
Applejack: Y'all think they're gonna be doin' this a lot?
[theme song]
[crunch]
[splash]
Fluttershy: Oh, my. We'd better ask somepony to fix that hole. It seems very dangerous.
Princess Luna: Which is why we're here!
[whoosh]
[thud]
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: [growls] I can't read this thing. How am I supposed to lead a Filly Guides hike if the map makes us more lost?
Princess Celestia: Did somepony say "lost"?
Princess Luna: Not for long! [laughs]
[zap!]
Pinkie Pie: [slurps]
Mrs. Cake: Oh, now, this is just terrible! Miss Cheerilee ordered cupcakes for school today, and I forgot to make the order!
Pinkie Pie: Ah, no biggie. We could—
[crash!]
Princess Celestia: Students going hungry? Not on our watch!
Princess Luna: Let us bake, sister!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[splattering]
Applejack: And then they carried Granny Smith across the street. There wasn't even any traffic!
Fluttershy: It's not that we don't appreciate their help.
Rarity: But suddenly, Celestia and Luna seem to think we can't do anything on our own.
Rainbow Dash: How are we supposed to learn to be rulers of Equestria with them fixing every teensy problem for us?
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe the princesses changed their minds. Maybe they don't think we're up to the responsibility of protecting Equestria after all!
Spike: Or maybe this week's just a one-time thing that'll never happen again.
[doors open]
Princess Celestia: Ah! A strategy meeting! What is the danger this time? A rampaging beast? Evil spell? Friendship problem?
Princess Luna: We're ready to do whatever we can.
Twilight Sparkle: Great. But is something wrong? It's just... You've been helping us an awful lot, and we know you have way more important ruler-y things to do, so...
Princess Luna: We've spent more than enough time in the throne room. Real life is happening out here.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. That's what this is about? You're sick of being princesses?
Princess Celestia: Not exactly. Battling the Everfree Forest alongside Star Swirl made us realize what we've missed out on. So, instead of spending the day ruling...
Princess Luna: ...and the night patrolling dreams...
Princess Celestia: ...we wanted a chance to do the things you do. Save the day! Adventure with friends! Shampoo anteaters.
Spike: I'm pretty sure Fluttershy's the only pony that does that.
Rainbow Dash: Well, there are waaaay more fun things to do than follow us around.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! You should make a list of all the stuff you never tried but always wanted to! There's a lotta little things out there to do!
Princess Celestia: What an intriguing idea. Only... it's much harder to justify a vacation from the castle when it's not an emergency we're responding to.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. We'll cover your palace duties. It'll be a good chance for us to practice for when you retire.
Princess Luna: Well, if you're sure you don't mind the extra effort.
Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs]
Princess Celestia: Thank you, Twilight! What a relief to know the Royal Swanifying Ceremony is in good hooves. [laughs]
Applejack: The what now?
Princess Celestia: "Fun Not Yet Had". [squeals] I can't wait to start planning our time off!
Princess Luna: The chance to do whatever we want! And you know what that means!
Princess Celestia:
Adventure!
Princess Luna:
Relaxation!
Princess Luna: Well, it's just that I... I spend each night in everypony's intense dreams. So I could use some real-world downtime.
Princess Celestia: [sighs] I understand. But for me, every day is real-world. Meetings and decrees and meetings about decrees and decrees about the meetings... I crave excitement!
Princess Luna: Uh, I'm not sure how we can both be happy. Unless...
Princess Celestia: [gasps] We take turns doing what we like!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: Sister trip!
Princess Luna: And I have the perfect accessories for us to wear! Wait right here!
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Princess Celestia: Oh. [nervous laugh] We'll be... twin-sies.
Princess Luna: [giggling] Just like regular pony tourists. I knew you'd love it.
Princess Celestia: I have a few things for us, too.
[thud]
Princess Celestia: Sunglasses, bug spray, ice boots, hoof sanitizer, and travel snacks!
Princess Luna: [slurps, chews, coughs]
Princess Celestia: You have to add water. What do you think?
Princess Luna: It's perfect, sister.
Princess Celestia: And here are instructions of how to prepare for the Royal Swanifying.
Twilight Sparkle: If it's written down, I'm sure we can handle it. Have fun!
Princess Luna: One more thing. We're leaving you in charge of raising the sun and moon while we're gone.
Twilight Sparkle and Spike: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh]
Princess Celestia: We have put a small part of our power in this amulet. You can activate it with your magic at any time. Preferably dawn and dusk.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! That's not a terrifying level of responsibility or anything!
Twilight Sparkle: We won't let you down, princesses. [to Spike] Please tell me that scroll says what the the Royal Swanifying is.
Spike: Apparently it's a celebration of all the swans in the royal lake. We round them up, parade them through the streets, and finish with a party in the castle.
[swan squawks]
Rainbow Dash: One question. Why?!
Twilight Sparkle: It doesn't matter. This is our chance to show Celestia and Luna we'll do whatever the job requires. If they can take care of all this themselves, then I know we can. Together.
Fluttershy: Um... hmm.
Rarity: Ah. Jolly good.
Spike: You're definitely not reading the same scroll I am.
Princess Celestia: Remember, sister. From now on, we are regular, carefree ponies!
[excited chattering]
[camera clicks]
Princess Luna: We're leaving the princess life behind, and we're not even going to fly!
Princess Celestia: Of course. [laughs] How new and different. It's just like Pinkie Pie said.
[Princess Celestia]
There's a lotta little things you gotta do in this world
[Princess Luna]
There's a lotta little things you gotta try
[Princess Celestia]
Just a pack of punchy plunges other ponies all take
[Princess Luna]
That have princess-pony-passed us right by
[Both]
Nopony knows you like your little sister
Nopony is a better confidante
Nopony is truer than the one you are
Nopony else here I could want
[Princess Celestia]
You can't saunter on a sojourn hid behind castle walls
[Princess Luna]
You can't throw a throne down on the beach
[Princess Celestia]
So we're gonna be absconding
[Princess Luna]
To a little vagabonding
[Princess Celestia]
And this bucket list is gonna be a peach
[Both]
Nopony knows you like your older sister
Nopony is a better confidante
Nopony is truer than the one you are
Nopony else here I could want
There's a lotta little things you gotta try in this world
There's a lotta little things you gotta see
[Princess Luna]
But just reading by a river and resting our hooves
Would practically be perfect for me
[Both]
Nopony knows you like your sister
Nopony is a better confidante
Nopony is truer than the one you are
Nopony else here I could want
[Princess Celestia]
You can't venture on adventures if you're taking a nap
You can't check things off your checklist while you sleep
So let's take another hill
[Princess Luna]
Sometimes you can be a pill
And why's the way ahead always so steep?
[doors open]
Fancy Pants: Princesses, we are here to... Oh.
Applejack: Uh, we're fillin' in for Their Majesties. What can we help y'all with?
Fancy Pants: I say. How irregular. Well then. We offer our assistance as heads of the Royal Swanifying Committee.
Rarity: Ah, what a relief.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you, but we have it all covered.
Fancy Pants: Reeeeeally? Well, good luck with that.
Twilight Sparkle: If we ask for help, it's just like admitting we're not as good at the job as Luna and Celestia are. Besides, how hard can throwing a swan party be?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! All we have left to do is polish the armor, bubble the punch, glitter the carpet, puff the pastry, float the floats, and carpet every road in Canterlot! Should I keep reading?
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh]
Princess Luna: Uh, Celestia? Since we're both a little tired, m-maybe the first thing we do shouldn't be too wild.
Princess Celestia: Exactly what I was thinking.
Princess Celestia: ziiiiip liiiiiiiiiine!
Princess Celestia: Now, every time we have tea, we can remember this magical day!
Princess Luna: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. But now, we're going to do something I've always wanted to do but never could because of my night shift.
Princess Celestia: Is it another zip line?
Princess Luna: No.
Princess Luna: It's the post office!
Princess Celestia: It is indeed.
Princess Luna: Just think! All the mail in Ponyville goes through here! Isn't that amazing?!
[thump]
Princess Luna: One stamp, please!
[clattering]
Princess Luna: [licks] Wait for it...
[watch ticking]
[door opens]
Princess Celestia: You didn't need a stamp if you were just going to give this to me.
Princess Luna: Yes, but I didn't give it to you. A mailpony took it from me, searched to find who it was meant for, and gave it to you! It's about the process!
Princess Celestia: [echoing] Did you know that nopony has ever explored the bottom of these caverns?
[roaring]
[rocks crunching]
Princess Luna: [flatly] I wonder why.
Princess Luna: I have always wanted to try this!
[technopop]
Princess Luna: Isn't this wonderful, sister?
[Princess Celestia]
There's a lotta little things you gotta do in this world
[Princess Luna]
There's a lotta little things you ought to view
[Princess Celestia]
And our little lotta list may be a little bit long
[Princess Luna]
[sighs] And might take a lotta bother to do
[Both]
But I'm sure it gets better later on
[Princess Celestia]
And after darkest night, a new dawn
[Princess Luna]
It's my turn to do the choosing
[Princess Celestia]
After river rapid cruising
[Both]
This adventure isn't too fun to be on
[inflating sounds]
[doors open]
Fancy Pants: Princess Twilight! It has come to our attention that you don't intend to serve watercress at the Royal Swanifying Ceremony.
Twilight Sparkle: There's not enough in the castle kitchens to—
Fancy Pants: Don't tell me. Tell him.
[swan squawks]
Fancy Pants: And you must do something about the garbage piling up outside. The street sweepers are on strike, and the royal carpeters can't do their jobs.
Applejack: Did you even know there were royal street carpeters?
Fancy Pants: Oh, dear. I do hope those aren't the final decorations for the gala.
Rarity: How rude.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you for your constructive criticism. But we really don't have time to chat, so...
[doors close]
Princess Celestia: [chewing, gulps] Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself on your super-relaxing picnic, sister.
Princess Luna: I would be if you hadn't made us hike through a million prickle bushes! [groans]
Princess Celestia: Well, they hurt less than that horrible howling you dragged us to.
Princess Luna: That was Ponygliacci, and it's an opera! And you made us leave early, even though it was still my turn.
Princess Celestia: Oh, just face it, Luna. You are never happy!
Princess Luna: Because you don't want me to be happy. I always have to do things your way. I bet you wish I'd never come back so you could still rule day and night!
Princess Celestia: You think I like that kind of pressure?! Being responsible for every little thing in Equestria and you?! What I'd like is a [booming] sister I can depend on!
Princess Luna: [booming] You mean boss around!
Princess Celestia: [booming] Calm down, Luna!
Princess Luna: No! And don't you dare use your Canterlot Voice on me! I think this adventure would be better if I did it by myself!
Princess Celestia: Fine! I just remembered something I forgot I always wanted to do. Be alone!
Princess Luna: [tearing up] Guess we have the same thing on both of our lists then.
Applejack: Pinkie! You got those appetizers yet?!
Pinkie Pie: Still mashing the guacamole!
Spike: [yelping]
Rarity: So we're just going to have to do with sequins!
Fluttershy: Um, sorry for the bad news, but the courtyard is full of swans waiting to get in!
[swans squawking]
Rainbow Dash: And we're nowhere near ready!
Twilight Sparkle: How does Celestia and Luna rule a kingdom and get all this done by themselves every year?!
Fancy Pants: [laughs] Oh, how droll.
Spike: Uh, what's the funny part exactly?
Fancy Pants: The princesses never do all the ceremony planning by themselves.
Twilight Sparkle: They don't?
Fancy Pants: Oh, goodness, no. That's what the gala planning committees are for. Nopony could handle all this. [sips] Are those... sequins?
Rarity: Still rude.
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! New plan, everypony! We're going to delegate!
Rainbow Dash: [to Upper Crust] You! You're on food duty!
Rarity: [to Jet Set] I need gemstones! And purple satin!
Fluttershy: [to Fleur de Lis] Tell the ponies at the gates there's a slight delay on the gala! Oh, um, if it's not too much trouble, I mean.
Applejack: Uh... Now, who can we get to clean up all this garbage?
[stomping]
Pinkie Pie: I'm delegating!
Twilight Sparkle: So this is how you rule Equestria!
Princess Luna: [slurping, sighs] Things are so much more relaxing without my bossy sister.
[ponies laughing]
Princess Celestia: Who needs a gloomy sister moping around all the time anyway? [whinnies]
Princess Luna: [groans]
"Nurse Sweetheart": Honestly, princess, didn't you wear any sunblock?
Princess Luna: That's a thing? [sighs] Celestia would've warned me. If she were here.
Princess Celestia: Now, was it two left turns and a right, or two right turns and a left?
[whoosh!]
Princess Celestia: Luna always handled directions.
[twig snaps]
[chicken clucks]
Princess Celestia: [shakily] And scared away the chickens!
Princess Celestia: Oh! Heh. I thought climbing Mount Filly-mane-jaro was on my list.
Princess Luna: I'm not copying you! I just wanted to watch the sunrise.
Princess Celestia: Ah. I'm, uh, here for the moonset.
[beat]
Princess Celestia: So, uh, how did the rest of your day go?
Princess Luna: Oh, amazing! Yeah. Uh, f-fantastic. Best ever, really.
Princess Celestia: Yeah. Me... too. Mmm.
Princess Luna: You... You can walk with me. You know, i-if you want, I mean.
Princess Celestia: Oh, well... [scoffs] Since we're going the same way. [laughs]
Princess Luna: This is so beautiful. It must be amazing in the sunlight.
Princess Celestia: The night's pretty special, too.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: Lucky star!
Princess Luna: You taught me to look for those when I was a filly.
Princess Celestia: [laughs] Hope I wasn't too bossy doing it.
Princess Luna: You know, being with your sister all the time is hard, but being without her? It's even harder.
Princess Celestia: I do know. [sighs] And I wouldn't trade you for any of the adventures on my list.
Princess Luna: Not even your zip line?
[poof!]
Princess Celestia: Not even my zip line.
Princess Luna: I'm sorry I said those things before. Sometimes it's just tough being the little sister.
Princess Celestia: It's not always easy being the big sister either. I'm sorry, too.
Princess Luna: [gasps] The sun and the moon together? At the same time?
Princess Celestia: Now, where have I seen that before?
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [laugh]
[long pause]
Princess Celestia: You think maybe Twilight's having trouble with the amulet?
Princess Luna: We should probably go help her.
Spike: Okay, okay! I think I got it! Sunburst says we just need to reset the amulet with this! Turn the screw on the back—
[cranking]
[sproing!]
Spike: ...and no more than one half turn.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers] Does anypony have some tape?!
[credits]

The Last Laugh

[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: I thought Pinkie Pie said to get here right away.
Applejack: She sure had a burr in her britches about somethin'.
Spike: So where is she?
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] Yeah. What is taking her so long? [giggles] Just kidding. You guys really need to look behind you once in a while.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Pinkie? You said you had something important to tell us.
Pinkie Pie: Not telling so much as showing. In fact, what you're about to see may shake the very foundations of your perception for all time!
Fluttershy: Um... a cupcake?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! But wait, there's more!
[click]
[squeak!]
Pinkie Pie: It's an invitation to visit the Cheese Sandwich Amusement Factory!
Spike: Cheese Sandwich opened a factory?
Applejack: Heh. What do they make there? Rubber chickens?
Pinkie Pie: That's ridiculous! They make way more there than just rubber chickens! [giggles]
Rarity: Gosh, Cheese hardly seems the factory type. I just assumed he'd continue to wander Equestria throwing parties. Still, you must be excited to see him.
Pinkie Pie: I am! I can't wait to tour his factory, catch up, have him tell me my life's purpose, swap gag tips—
Applejack: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What did you say?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, catch up? I mean, it has been a while.
Twilight Sparkle: I think Applejack's asking about the part about Cheese Sandwich and your life's purpose.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that. Yeah. It's just... All of you have found your thing. You're gonna rule all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt, Fluttershy has her animal sanctuary, Rarity has her boutiques, Applejack has the hat... And the farm! So that's like... two things! I don't even have one. [sighs, chomps] When I first got Cheese's invite, I was a little jealous. It felt like even he was moving on to bigger and better things. And everypony was leaving me behind. But then I realized Cheese Sandwich is a party pony just like me. If he figured out his purpose, he can help me figure out mine.
Twilight Sparkle: I think talking to Cheese Sandwich is a great idea. But the only pony who can really find your life's purpose is you.
Pinkie Pie: I know, silly. That's why I'm going to visit Cheese Sandwich's factory so I can ask him to help me. [chomps]
Spike: Uh, Pinkie? Are you sure this is edible?
Pinkie Pie: I am not! [chomps]
[theme song]
[bouncing]
Pinkie Pie: Yup! Anypony with a smile like that is exactly the kind of pony I want helping me!
[bouncing]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, hey, guys! Pardon me? Just gonna... squeeze by? [straining]
Guard Pony 1: Can we help you?
Pinkie Pie: You sure can! I'm here to see Cheese Sandwich!
Guard Pony 2: Cheese Sandwich doesn't "see" anypony.
Guard Pony 1: This factory's shut tight. Nopony ever comes out, and nopony ever goes in. Including you. So move along.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, that's a shame. To think I came all this way because of this personal invitation from Cheese Sandwich himself.
Guard Pony 2: You... You have an invitation?
Guard Pony 1: Well, why didn't you say so?
[alarm]
[clang!]
Guard Pony 2: Next time, I get to push the button.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Desolate-y! Hello? Anypony there?
[doors open]
Pinkie Pie: [yelps] Cheese! I'm so happy to see you! [strains]
[stretch]
[whip!]
Sans Smirk: Hmm. This should have gotten a big laugh. I wonder if we need to add more carpet rolls. I suppose it could be the mask. Let's try taking the nostril flare down ten percent. Thoughts?
Pinkie Pie: I have a thought. Who are you?
Sans Smirk: So sorry. Sans Smirk, vice-president of amusement integration. Mr. Sandwich is very excited you're here. If you'll just follow me, it's a short trip through the factory to Cheese's office.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! A whole factory dedicated to gags! Ooh! I bet this is the funnest place ever!
[doors open]
Pinkie Pie: Huh.
[industrial sounds]
[conveyor belt whirring]
Pinkie Pie: Maybe the fun is behind all this boring-looking factory stuff.
[thud]
[pop!]
[thunk!]
Sans Smirk: The fun is the factory stuff. We take a fairly serious approach to comedy here. Observe. [stilted] Oh, look. A pretty flower. [sniffs]
[squirt]
Pinkie Pie: The squirting flower's a classic. Ohhh! What if the flower was part of a shirt, but the flower didn't squirt – the shirt did?!
Sans Smirk: That is literally the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, [giggles] come on. That's just off the top of my head. You probably get, like, seventeen thousand ideas like that from Cheese every minute.
Sans Smirk: We'd have to use a series of interconnected tubes in the fabric. What do you think of this?
[flatulence]
Pinkie Pie: I think it's a whoopee cushion.
Sans Smirk: Yes...?
Pinkie Pie: But what if you made the embarrassing sound come from somepony else?!
Sans Smirk: I sit on it, but the sound comes from you... We could call it the "ventriloquoopee cushion".
[factory ponies agreeing]
Pinkie Pie: So... which way is Cheese's office again?
Sans Smirk: Right. Of course. It's been quite a while since we've had the opportunity to work with true comic inspiration like this.
Pinkie Pie: What about Cheese?
Sans Smirk: Oh! One more thing. Our super-slip banana peel. Still in development, but we think it's pretty special.
[splattering sounds]
[factory ponies yelping]
Sans Smirk: So? Too slippery?
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh-ho-ho. What if, instead of slipping, you were sticking? One step on this banana peel, and you can't get it off! [giggles] That's funny!
Sans Smirk: Wow. Just... wow. You're exactly the pony Cheese Sandwich needs to see.
Pinkie Pie: Great! Because he's exactly the pony I need to see!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Uh... hello?
Cheese Sandwich: [grimly] Pinkie, I'm... I'm glad you came.
Pinkie Pie: Of course I did. Your factory's... big. It really seems like you found your purpose. Which is perfect, since I came here for help.
Cheese Sandwich: That is perfect. I knew I could count on you to help me.
Pinkie Pie: Well, that's triple-perfect, because... uh, wait. Why do you need my help?
Cheese Sandwich: Because, Pinkie, I... [claps]
[ka-chunk]
Cheese Sandwich: ...I completely lost my laugh!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: You lost your laugh? Is that some kind of joke? Because it's not a funny one.
Cheese Sandwich: It's not a joke. And even if it was, I... I wouldn't be able to laugh at it.
Pinkie Pie: Riiiiight... Why don't we continue this discussion over some delicious canned peanut brittle, hmm? [laughs]
[sproing]
Pinkie Pie: Wow. You did lose your laugh. That's horrible!
Sans Smirk: Sorry to interrupt, but it occurs to me that a seven percent tighter wind on the snake springs would yield a twelve percent increase in giggle output.
Cheese Sandwich: This is why we're a team. Sans here has always been able to eke every last laugh out of my gags. W-Which is a help, since I haven't come up with any good ones in a while.
Pinkie Pie: Wait. So you can tell if a gag is funny is not – you just can't laugh at it?
Cheese Sandwich: [tearing up] Yes! And it's torture!
Pinkie Pie: How did this happen?
Cheese Sandwich: I don't know. Back when I was a party pony, I... I laughed at everything.
Cheese Sandwich: [voiceover] I spread my party cheer wherever it was needed. I even started making individual, one-of-a-kind novelty gags for each and every one of my parties.
[whack! whack! whack!]
[foals laughing]
Cheese Sandwich: [laughing]
Cheese Sandwich: [voiceover] Soon, it seemed like everypony in Equestria wanted one.
[excited sounds]
[buzzing]
Cheese Sandwich: [laughs]
Cheese Sandwich: [voiceover] It was more work than my hooves could handle, but I didn't want to disappoint all those smiling faces.
[door opens]
Cheese Sandwich: [voiceover] Luckily, Sans Smirk came to me with the idea for a factory. A gag factory. I could finally keep up with demand and make everypony happy. Soon we were sending gags all over Equestria.
[conveyor belt whirs]
[flatulence]
[conveyor belt whirs]
[crank]
[ribbit!]
[conveyor belt whirs]
[squirt]
Cheese Sandwich: [voiceover] But then, one day, my laugh was just... gone.
Cheese Sandwich: I haven't left the factory since. I-I don't want anypony to see me like this. I-I mean, look at me! Boneless 2 doesn't even recognize me anymore!
[chair creaks]
Cheese Sandwich: So, can you help me, Pinkie? W-What do you think?
Pinkie Pie: I think I've got two words for you. Knock... knock.
Cheese Sandwich: Who's there?
Pinkie Pie: Boo.
Cheese Sandwich: Boo who?
Pinkie Pie: Don't cry, because I'm gonna get you your laugh back!
Pinkie Pie: Let's start with something small. Excuse me, Mr. Smirk. But is there something in my... eye?!
[rattling]
Sans Smirk: Top notch eye-googling, Ms. Pie.
Cheese Sandwich: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Why, thanks, Sans, ol' pal. Put her there!
[buzzing]
Sans Smirk: [groaning]
[sizzle]
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Sorry about that. Let me make it up to you. How about some... pie?
[splat!]
Sans Smirk: Googly eye to hoof buzzer to pie-face pratfall. Mwah! Masterful.
Cheese Sandwich: Meh.
Pinkie Pie: Come on! Those classic bits put Rainbow Dash's funny bone in a cast for a week!
Cheese Sandwich: Don't blame yourself, Pinkie. Whatever I got, I got it bad.
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... Maybe we need to start even smaller.
Pinkie Pie: You can't run before you can walk, and you can't laugh before you can smile. And your smiler's all out of whack. Now let's see what we're working with. Give me your biggest, bestest smile!
Cheese Sandwich: [straining] Am I doing it? Am I smiling? I feel like I'm smiling.
Pinkie Pie: Almost... [laughing nervously] Maybe I just need to spot you for a rep or two. [straining] Okay! You got this! It's all you! Ready?
Cheese Sandwich: Anything?
Pinkie Pie: Awww...
Cheese Sandwich: Guh.
Pinkie Pie: I'm not giving up on you yet, Cheese. I know there's something somewhere that'll make you laugh. I just have to figure out where to look.
Sans Smirk: I would like to take this opportunity to point out that we are in a gag factory.
[door opens]
Sans Smirk: This is where the magic happens – research and development. It's where we figure out the science of funny.
Pinkie Pie: How do you science funny?
Sans Smirk: Of course there's no one-size-fits-all joke. No grand unified gag theory. But if we figure out the funny of one gag, we can combine it with the funny of another gag and make a third funnier gag.
[sproing]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: I... guess that makes sense. "Rule of threes". Hmmm. One, two, three. Yup. That math checks out. Hmmm. At this point, I'm willing to give anything a try.
[montage music]
[awestruck sounds]
[door closes]
[clang!]
[splash!]
["uh-uh", "nope", etc.]
[squirt]
[pop-pop-pop]
Pinkie Pie: [groans] I don't understand! We've tried everything! Stand-up, classic gag, physical humor, prop comedy, vaudeville, surrealist alt-scene character pieces – nothing's worked!
Sans Smirk: It seems we've exhausted every avenue that even the science of comedy can provide.
Cheese Sandwich: That's it then.
Pinkie Pie: What do you mean?
Cheese Sandwich: [sighs] I appreciate everything you've done, Pinkie, but if you can't make me laugh, nopony can.
Sans Smirk: But, sir, you can't just surrender.
Cheese Sandwich: It doesn't look like I have a choice. I need to figure out how to live without a laugh. I know you tried your best, but it's time you went home.
[doors open]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Sans Smirk: I, too, am horrified.
Pinkie Pie: So that's it? You're all just giving up?
Sans Smirk: I'm afraid Mr. Sandwich is right. You are the funniest pony in Equestria. And if you can't bring back his laugh, it is surely gone forever.
Pinkie Pie: But... Cheese was just as funny as me. I-I can't believe that's all gone.
[doors open]
Sans Smirk: None of us can. I shudder to think what'll become of the factory.
Pinkie Pie: You're not gonna close down, are you? I thought this place was Cheese's life's purpose!
Sans Smirk: It certainly was mine. But if Mr. Sandwich has finally given up, there's only so long we can retool his old ideas before we run out of gags to produce. I don't suppose... you'd consider working here? Your fresh take on our classic gags rivals Mr. Sandwich in his prime.
Pinkie Pie: I need to find my life's purpose, but I don't think that's it. I'm a party pony! I need to make ponies happy in real-time!
Sans Smirk: Ah, yes. In our early days, nothing brought Mr. Sandwich more pleasure than seeing the laughter his gags brought to ponies firsthoof.
Pinkie Pie: Guess it's back to the drawing board.
Sans Smirk: Well, there will always be a place for you here if you change your mind.
Pinkie Pie: Hold on. What did you just say?
Sans Smirk: There'll always be a place for you here?
Pinkie Pie: No-no-no-no. Before that.
Sans Smirk: Back to the drawing board.
Pinkie Pie: [groans] That was me!
Sans Smirk: Nothing brought Mr. Sandwich more pleasure than seeing the laughter his gags brought to ponies firsthoof?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! That! We've been going about this all wrong! We don't need to make Cheese laugh. He needs to make us laugh!
[zip!]
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Cheese! I figured it out! I know why you can't laugh!
Cheese Sandwich: What? Why?
Pinkie Pie: You started this factory because you didn't want to disappoint smiling faces. But in here, you can't see any.
Sans Smirk: [panting] It does make a certain sense, sir. Spreading laughter has always brought you joy.
Cheese Sandwich: But spreading laughter is what this factory does.
Pinkie Pie: Except you don't see it. You're a party pony like me. You need to make ponies smile in-person! Here. Just try it.
Cheese Sandwich: Okay... um... [clears throat] Why did Boneless 2 cross the road? To prove to Boneless 1 he wasn't a chicken.
Sans Smirk: Very funny, sir. Excellent joke. Oh! I mean... [forced laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Really?
Sans Smirk: Sorry. Not much of a laugher.
Pinkie Pie: Here. Try me. I promise I'll laugh.
Cheese Sandwich: Pinkie, you laugh at everything. I appreciate what you're doing, but I think it's a "cost lause". [stutters] A lost cause.
Factory Pony: [snickers]
Cheese Sandwich: What... was... that?!
Factory Pony: Um, I'm sorry. When you swapped the letters of those words, it was just a bit...
Cheese Sandwich: Funny?
Factory Pony: Uh-huh.
[Cheese Sandwich]
So you're saying it's a mix-up
Of the sounds that I just made
That coaxed the snicker from your throat
In a delicate cascade?
If I did it one more time
If I reproduced that feat
Mixed up some letters here and there
You'd "lelly-baugh" tout suite?
[ponies laughing]
[Cheese Sandwich]
Then that's all I need to do
That's who I need to be
I thought I needed laughter
But it has to come from me
Squirting flowers and knobby knees
Rubber chickens my expertise
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
[ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah!
[Cheese Sandwich]
I suppose now I should amp things up
To get the thing I'm after
Move whole syll-AB-les around
And change em-PHA-sis to get laughter
Can't stop now, I'm on a roll
I've almost got it back
Bright folks like you aren't subject to
My play-on-words attack!
With something else, I'll have to play
To get me where I'm going
Pinkie Pie: Whatcha gonna do?
[Cheese Sandwich]
[falsetto] Some Commedia dell'arte
To get the laughter flowing
And it's what I need to do
It's who I need to be
I thought I needed laughter
But it has to come from me
Follow right behind, if you please
Walk this way and I guarantee
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
Accordion solo!
Pinkie Pie: Shred it, Cheese!
[accordion playing]
Cheese Sandwich: Whoo! [laughing and whooping]
And it's what I need to do
It's who I need to be
I thought I needed laughter
But it has to come from me
Whoopee cushions and Dungarees
I know jokes like my A-B-C's
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
[ponies laughing]
[Cheese Sandwich]
And now my biggest test
The hardest fish to fry
[Pinkie Pie]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
[Cheese Sandwich]
A mind so analytical
A sense of humor dry
[Pinkie Pie]
So dry!
[Cheese Sandwich]
To make you laugh would prove to me
That this experiment's done
[Pinkie Pie]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
[Cheese Sandwich]
Something ridiculous and not too smart
Something like a pun
Hey, Sans! How did the laughing bird's eggs hatch? They cracked up!
[rimshot]
Sans Smirk: Sir... that is so... ridiculous! [laughs]
[Cheese Sandwich]
Then that's all I need to do
That's all I need to see
I thought I needed laughter
But it had to come from me
[All]
Squirting flowers and knobby knees
Rubber chickens and Dungarees
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese!
[factory ponies laughing]
Sans Smirk: It's so good to have you back, sir. Finally we can get the factory back to how things used to be.
Cheese Sandwich: Sans, my good pony, I don't think I could run this factory anymore. But you can!
Sans Smirk: Without you? I-I don't understand.
Cheese Sandwich: Pinkie was right. This is what I need.
[factory ponies laughing]
Cheese Sandwich: I just can't have funny ideas. I need to wander the land and see ponies laughing at them. You can run the factory, but I need to [operatically] liiiiiive! And don't think I've forgotten about you, little buddy.
[chair creaks]
Cheese Sandwich: I knew you'd be onboard. Don't worry. Out in Equestria, I'll have more great ideas for gags, and I'll send them all to you.
Sans Smirk: Sir, are you sure this is what you want to do?
Cheese Sandwich: Of course. It's my life's purpose!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! That's what I came here looking for!
Cheese Sandwich: You did? Well, come on! Let's figure it out!
[factory ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Actually, I think I'm good.
Pinkie Pie: ...And then I said goodbye, and then I came here! Oh! And then I gathered you all together and started telling you about it. First, I said—
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that sounds like quite a trip!
Fluttershy: And Cheese Sandwich just left his own factory?
Pinkie Pie: Yup. But I think Sans Smirk's hooves were the perfect ones to leave it in. As much as Cheese was born to wander Equestria and make ponies laugh in-person, Sans was born to run that factory.
Applejack: And you don't sound so worried about findin' your life's purpose anymore.
Pinkie Pie: Nope! I figured out Cheese and I are pretty much the same. We both need to see ponies laughing to feel fulfilled. And I already do that. My life is purposing itself all over the place!
Rarity: [giggles] I agree completely.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks. Oh! I almost forgot! I got you all a little something from my trip. Who likes peanut brittle?
[boom!]
[squeak!]
Mane Six: [laughing]
[credits]

2, 4, 6, Greaaat

[bird chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: I have to admit I was a little shocked when Princess Celestia told me she wanted to start a scholastic buckball league. But I was even more surprised that she wanted the first game to be between her school and ours! Apparently, she's a huge sports fan.
Pinkie Pie: Always thought Celestia was kind of a jock, just with really wavy hair.
Twilight Sparkle: Anyway, we don't have much time. The game is in two weeks, and I want all of you to coach the team!
[excited chattering]
Fluttershy: [hyperventilating]
Twilight Sparkle: I know how you feel. Young athletes ready to take the field. Ooh, you could almost breathe in the excitement!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Snails: I don't think you should breathe it in so hard.
[splash!]
Fluttershy: It's just... Two weeks doesn't feel like a whole lot of time to train a whole team.
Pinkie Pie: Mmmmaybe the School of Magic could play a few other schools first. Like the Mane and Tail Styling College or the Scroll-Making Institute?
Twilight Sparkle: Relax. You're gonna do just fine.
Fluttershy: Um, [gasps] what makes you so sure?
Twilight Sparkle: Because I have faith in my friends, who also happen to be the best buckball players in Equestria!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah!
[squeaks]
[music]
[smack!]
[whoosh!]
Fluttershy: I guess that is sort of true.
Twilight Sparkle: I asked Rainbow Dash to help, too. But I'm not sure when she—
[whooshes]
Rainbow Dash: Sorry I'm late! But when Twilight said she needed my help with the buckball team, I figured I'd better grab every piece of coaching equipment I could find! So what should I focus on? Offense? Defense? Trick plays?
Twilight Sparkle: I was thinking of something even more important.
Rainbow Dash: Awesome! Lay it on me. Whatever it is, I'll give it a hundred and twenty percent!
Twilight Sparkle: I knew I could count on your enthusiasm! That's why I want you to coach the cheer squad!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Cheerleading?!
[theme song]
[music]
Rainbow Dash: I don't mean to sound ungrateful. It's just when you said you wanted my help with something important, I thought you meant something important.
Twilight Sparkle: The cheer squad is important.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs hysterically] Oh. Well, sure, cheer squad is totally important to somepony who isn't me. But I'm more about ponies playing in the game, not cheering for it.
[students laughing]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, it's great that some ponies only want to cheer, though I don't know why they would.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. Well, maybe this will be a good opportunity for you to find out.
Rainbow Dash: Of course I've seen cheer squads before – on the sidelines – but I'm not even a hundred percent sure what they do. I'll probably just mess it up.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you might be surprised. In fact, I'm more sure than ever that you're the perfect choice.
Snips: I'm actually one hundred and twenty percent sure. And it's a good thing, too. The cheer squad really needs you.
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean?
Snips: Well, I've been helping out, and let's put it this way. We've got two weeks until the big game, and... we could use two years. But that's all gonna change because you're here to save the day!
Rainbow Dash: Okay... So why are you here?
Snips: What? A pony can't show school spirit?
Rainbow Dash: You don't even go to this school.
Snips: Uh, okay. When I went to the Buckball Hall of Fame, I found out buckball souvenirs are big bits. If Twilight's team does well, I could start selling them full-time in Ponyville! So I have a vested interest, and you have an assistant coach! [blows whistle]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Lighthoof and Shimmy Shake: [giggling]
Lighthoof: [valley girl accent] She's here!
Shimmy Shake: [valley girl accent] Get the lights!
[rhythmically] Over and over and over again!
[Lighthoof]
[rhythmically] We wanna dance for each other and for all of our friends!
Rainbow Dash: Dancing. Right. I've seen you two around school, haven't I?
Shimmy Shake: [laughs] I'm Shimmy Shake, and this is Lighthoof.
Lighthoof: And we are your lead dancers.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: I didn't know you three would be here.
Yona: [laughs] Yona want to cheer and make pony pyramid!
[stomping]
Ocellus: And I thought this could be my chance to make an impression on everypony. You know, for something other than changing shape.
Rainbow Dash: I didn't realize you were into school spirit, Smolder.
Smolder: Eh. I just came with these two. Guess they think you can make cheer squad cool or something.
Rainbow Dash: Don't count on it.
Snips: Okay! Now that we're all here, why don't you tell us the plan? How are you gonna make us into the most awesome cheer squad ever?
Rainbow Dash: Eh... I'unno.
Cheer Squad: [groan]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, if you guys were an actual buckball team, I'd have plenty of ideas. But I don't know anything about cheerleading.
Snips: Oh! [laughs] Yes! Good one, coach! But Headmare Twilight picked you for the job, so I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing.
Rainbow Dash: If you say so.
Snips: [laughs] Right. Okay, gang, let's show Rainbow Dash what we've been working on, and she can take it from there.
Yona: Cheer squad can do that!
[stomping]
Lighthoof: Yup. All we need is a little music!
[up-tempo music playing]
Shimmy Shake: Over... and over... and over a...gain!
[stomping]
Lighthoof: We want to dance... for each other and for all of our friends!
Smolder: [unenthusiastically] Two, four, six, eight.
Ocellus: [quietly] Uh... friendship school is really... great.
[stomping]
[crash!]
Smolder: Well, that was a disaster.
Shimmy Shake: It's kind of hard to stick to our choreography when the floor is moving.
Lighthoof: [scoffs] Yeah, Yona, your stomps are a little too powerful.
Yona: Can we make pony pyramid instead?
Ocellus: Maybe we should figure out what cheers we should do first.
Smolder: [scoffs, sarcastically] Yeah, because that'll fix everything.
Snips: So, I mean, there's a few... uh, a lot of problems, but nothing you can't solve, right?
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Oh, yeah. Listen, you guys don't have anything to worry about.
Smolder: We don't?
Rainbow Dash: Nope. In fact, I think what you all just did is totally fine. You guys have got this. So, uh, I'm just gonna head down to the field. Uh, great practice, everypony!
[whoosh]
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! What are you doing?
Snips: [grunting] What are you doing?! You've got to come back and coach the squad!
Rainbow Dash: I watched them cheer stuff. Looked fine to me.
Snips: [grunts] Well, it's not! Do you know what'll happen if they do what they just did at the big game?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, nothing?
Snips: Uh, wrong!
Rainbow Dash: Ooh!
Snips: A good cheer squad gets the fans excited, which gets the team excited. But if nopony's excited, then no... pony... buys... any... souvenirs!
Rainbow Dash: I think you're blowing this a little out of proportion.
Snips: Point is, if I'm going to make any bits at these games, that squad has to get better. And to do that, they need a coach.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] You know what? You're right! Why don't you do it? I mean, you're the one with a vested interest.
Snails: The trick to being a good buckball keeper is to do nothin'. Just empty your mind. Be the ball.
Pizzelle: Uh, balls don't have minds.
Snails: Exactly.
[music]
"November Rain": Uh, where's my blindfold?
"Berry Bliss": My turn!
Pizzelle: I want to do that!
"Berry Bliss": Over here!
Smolder: Why are you watching Snails' weird practice when you're supposed to be practicing with us?
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Snails' practice is definitely weird. Uh, I thought Snips was practicing with you.
Smolder: He was.
Shimmy Shake: [sighs] Do you have any idea how hard it is to dance in this stuff?
Ocellus: [softly] Plus all these buttons jingle so much, you can't hear my cheers.
Smolder: Speaking up might help a little.
Rainbow Dash: So don't dance and cheer.
Yona: Uh, then what cheer squad do?
Rainbow Dash: I dunno.
Smolder: [angrily] Maybe you should! [calmly] Or whatever. You're the coach! You're supposed to come up with stuff for us to do.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. I've got something for you to do.
Snails: Just do nothing. Empty your minds. Be the squad.
Smolder: We are the squad.
Snails: Oh, yeah.
Snips: At least helping sell my souvenirs was... something.
Yona: Yona still not understand how this make us better. Huh? Professor Dash needs to stay and coach!
Rainbow Dash: [groans] You guys asked me to come up with something, and I did.
Smolder: I don't think nothing counts.
Rainbow Dash: Then I'm out of ideas.
Snails: This is the School of Friendship. If you need ideas, you should ask your friends for help.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine.
[montage music]
[party cannon squeak]
Rainbow Dash: Okay. Since you guys have been nagging me nonstop about this cheer stuff for, like, ever...
Smolder: It has literally been one day.
Rainbow Dash: ...I went around and got everything you need!
[music]
Smolder: Uh, what're we supposed to do with hay?
Rainbow Dash: Beats me, but Applejack seemed pretty sure about it. Oh, I almost forgot.
Ocellus: A rhyming dictionary?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Zecora's a lot less helpful than you'd think. That's from the library so you can come up with cheers. Okay! Good practice!
Smolder: So, you're just leaving again?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Look. I talked to my friends, and they said this is the stuff you need. Wouldn't a true cheer squad be able to figure out what to do with it?
Lighthoof: But Fluttershy and Pinkie wanted us to show 'em everything we come up with tomorrow!
Shimmy Shake: They want us to get the team all excited before the big game!
Rainbow Dash: Well, then it's a good thing I got you all this stuff. You better get to work!
[whoosh]
[door slams]
Snips: Don't look at me.
[music]
Fluttershy: Good work, everypony! Let's take a break!
Rainbow Dash: [whistles] Yeah! [whistles] Wow! This team is really shaping up! Nice job!
Fluttershy: Thanks. I'm excited to see what you've been up to.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! I can't wait to see the cheer squad!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs hysterically] Oh. You're serious.
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! Go, team! This is so exciting!
Fluttershy: Well, I'm sure you've put in a lot of hard work.
Rainbow Dash: How much work does cheer squad need?
Snips: Anypony want to buy an official School of Friendship cheer squad headband? Now I personally would buy them before the performance!
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy: Huh?
[up-tempo music playing]
[stomping]
[Shimmy Shake]
Over... and over... and over again!
[stomping continues]
[Lighthoof]
We wanna dance for each other and for all of our friends!
[Smolder]
[unenthusiastically] School of Friendship, rah, rah, rah
[Ocellus]
Let's win this game and hit the... oh, what rhymes with "rah"? Spa?
[stomping continues]
[record needle scratches]
[stomping continues]
Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof: Yona!
[creak]
[party cannon squeak]
Smolder: [blusters]
Pinkie Pie: I know I said I couldn't wait to see the cheer squad, but maybe I could've waited just a teensy bit longer.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! Nice one! Huh? What?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know what everypony's so upset about. So it wasn't great. Cheerleading's never great. That's why everypony gets up to get a snack during it.
Yona: [bawls loudly]
Rainbow Dash: What is the big deal?
Shimmy Shake: If you don't know, there's no point in us trying to explain it to you!
Lighthoof: Lead dancers, out!
Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof: Hmph!
Smolder: It's not that we were bad. It's that you didn't even want to try to help us get better!
Rainbow Dash: I didn't try? What are you talking about?! I got you a party cannon! It's not my fault you couldn't figure out how to use it right.
Ocellus: [loudly] Well, you could have shown us! [sobbing]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa. Ponies might actually care about cheer squad if she cheered like that all the time.
Smolder: Why would you say ponies don't care about cheer squad?
Rainbow Dash: Because they don't.
Smolder: No. You don't. But they do! I bet Headmare Twilight does! And you know what? I do, too! I actually got excited when I found out you were gonna be our coach! I figured if anypony can make cheer squad awesome, it's you!
Rainbow Dash: Me? Why?
Smolder: Because everything's always awesome with you! Or twenty percent cooler! Or whatever! You're the most enthusiastic pony in Equestria when it's something you care about. I just wish we were one of those things.
[door opens, closes]
Snips: And it looks like my assistant cheer coach/souvenir selling business is a bust. So I'm gonna take off, unless you can think of something else for me to do.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe I can.
Ocellus and Yona: [snoring]
Snips: [blows whistle]
Yona: Yaks hate loud noises!
Ocellus: Aah!
Snips: Squad meeting! Outside! ASAP!
[new age music]
[record needle scratches]
Snips: [blows whistle] Dance ponies, buckball field, pronto!
[thud]
Smolder: [snoring]
Snips: [blows whistle] Hey, dragon! Get out here and join your squad!
Smolder: So, what? Is there some new button you wanna sell?
Snips: Not a button.
[whooshes]
Cheer Squad: Ugh...
Smolder: Not this again.
Lighthoof: Sorry. We're not buying.
Rainbow Dash: Wait! Look, I know I haven't been a great coach because I don't care about cheerleading. But all of you do, and I care about you. So I guess maybe I care about cheer squad. And a good friend reminded me that I can make anything I care about totally awesome. So from now on, I'm gonna give this thing a hundred and twenty percent, and I expect the same from you. We are gonna dance! We are gonna cheer! We're gonna make the biggest pony pyramid Equestria's ever seen! And when we're done, we're gonna make sure everypony on that field is so pumped up, they'll forget they even came to see a game!
Snips: Ah! But not so pumped up that they forget to buy a pennant or a button or a quality souvenir T-shirt.
[beat]
Snips: What?
[montage music]
[stomping]
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle in time with stomping]
Rainbow Dash: [blows whistle]
[music continues]
[hissing]
Rainbow Dash: [coughing]
[hissing]
[party cannon squeak]
Cheer Squad: [laughs]
[crowd cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: Yahoo!
Princess Celestia: I realize the game of buckball traditionally requires an Earth pony, a Pegasus, and a unicorn, but I appreciate you allowing my students to compete.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, and the wings and magical-dampening ring you made seem to be working really well.
Princess Celestia: Indeed, though not as well as your team. [echoing] Come on, School of Magic!
Fluttershy: Ohhhh! The suspense is horrible! I'm the most nervous I've ever been, and that's saying something.
Rainbow Dash: I know how you feel!
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry! Celestia's team might be tough, but we can still win this thing!
Rainbow Dash: What? Oh, yeah, totally. But I wasn't talking about the game. Come on, come on, come on, come on!
[cheering]
Announcer: And that's the end of the first half!
Rainbow Dash: Aaah! Sorry! Can't talk right now!
Fluttershy: I sure hope Dash being nervous is a good sign.
[ponies chattering]
[up-tempo music playing]
[stomping]
[Shimmy Shake]
Over and over and over again!
[Lighthoof]
We'll cheer for our team 'til the ve-ry end!
[rhythmic stomping]
[crowd cheering]
Smolder: [blows smoke]
[Ocellus]
Everypony in the crowd, if you're feeling hip
When I say "friend-", you say "-ship"!
Friend!
[Crowd]
Ship!
[Ocellus]
Friend!
[Crowd]
Ship!
[Ocellus]
Welcome, everypony, to the halftime show
We're the friendship squad, and we're ready to go!
We're here to cheer and get you all excited
If you'd like to join in, then you're all invited!
It's a simple cheer, so don't chime in late
[All]
It goes two, four, six, GREAT!
[party cannon squeak]
[flames whooshing]
[cheers and applause]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Not bad, right?
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy: They... were... awesome!
Cheer Squad: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Well, they have a pretty decent coach.
Cheer Squad: [laughing]
[crowd cheering]
Announcer: And that's the game. Final score — School of Magic, five; School of Friendship, four.
Fluttershy: Nice work, everyone. You can't win them all.
Pinkie Pie: Sometimes, that's just how the cupcake crumbles.
Rainbow Dash: You guys were amazing!
School of Friendship Team: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: It was flawless. I can't think of any way that could've been better!
Smolder: We could have won the game.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] The game was just a sideshow. You guys were the main event!
Princess Celestia: I'm glad to see such good sportsponyship on display. Your cheer squad was an inspiration, Rainbow Dash. I'll have to start one at my school as well.
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, Rainbow Dash! It's almost like you were the perfect pony to coach cheer squad after all!
Rainbow Dash: Wait a second. Was this one of those things where you knew the lesson I needed to learn before I learnt it?
Twilight Sparkle: You mean like how you don't have to care about a thing other ponies like as long as you care about the ponies who like it? Nope. Don't know what you're talking about.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Princess Celestia: Nicely done.
All: [laughing]
[credits]

A Trivial Pursuit

Spike: Okay, Spike. You know you might get distracted by the stacks of books and copious charts, so remember what to say. "Twilight, I know you're in full prep mode for Trivia Trot tomorrow, but you need to get some sleep!" Huh. [laughs] Nice work. You got this.
[door opens]
Spike: [gasps] This is weird.
[thud]
Spike: Twilight! What are you doing?
Twilight Sparkle: Great question, Spike! And the answer is...
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: ...going to bed! Brains need eight hours of sleep to perform at optimum levels!
Spike: Oh. Cool. I thought I'd have to force you to go to bed since tomorrow is your chance to be the first pony to win Ponyville Trivia three times in a row. That is tomorrow, right?
Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: ...yes! Ask me another one.
Spike: Another what?
Twilight Sparkle: Another question! I want to stay in the zone. That way, I can sleep in the zone! Wake up in the zone! And be totally in the zone tomorrow!
[beat]
Spike: Uh, this is a whole new level of "Twilight-ing", isn't it? Heh.
Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: ...yes!
Spike: Are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: ...yes!
Spike: Well, good night, Twilight. Good luck with your brain sleep and getting that third win. [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: The answer is...
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: ...good night! And yes!
Spike: That wasn't a question.
[theme song]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you decided to come watch your first Trivia Trot, Spike. I hope the rules aren't too confusing.
Spike: Rules? Isn't trivia just asking questions and answering them?
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] The Trot is a little more involved than that. Let's start with the first category of rules. [reading] "Categories. Rule one: Each category must be categorically designated and thoroughly researched in all categorical..."
Twilight Sparkle: "...participating in Trivia Trot." And that wraps up rule forty-one point six. Of course, the exception to that – rule forty-one point six A – is interesting itself because—
Spike: Oh, look! We're here!
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! I can't wait to see who my partner's gonna be!
Spike: You don't get to pick your own team?
Twilight Sparkle: Rule twenty point one six B, Spike. To keep things fair, the teams are randomly selected.
Spike: [sarcastically] Twenty point one six B. How could I forget?
Twilight Sparkle: And based on the regular attendees, I've charted every potential teammate's strengths and weaknesses, plus my percentage of winning with each one!
Spike: Ha! I knew there'd be a chart! Glad I'm just watching. I don't think I could handle being your teammate. What if I let you down?
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] You could never let me down, Spike. But I'm glad you're watching, too. I'm going to need all the support I can get for win number three!
[door opens]
[indistinct conversations]
Applejack: Well, well, well, if it ain't our reignin' champ. Think you can win again this week, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Everypony here has a different area of expertise, so it really is anypony's game. But yes!
Rainbow Dash: Then you better hope you get paired with me, because I am gonna rule this game!
[door opens]
Sunburst: We'll just see about that! I didn't come all the way from the Crystal Empire to lose. And I hope you realize I have the highest percentage of correct answers, and I aim to keep it that way.
Rainbow Dash: [whickers] I hope you realize not every category is gonna be "Spells So Old, Not Even Star Swirl the Bearded Remembers Them".
Fluttershy: I hope there's one on fur maintenance for adorable creatures, because I've been 'brushing up'. [giggles]
Angel: [chitters angrily]
Mudbriar: Technically, that was a category last week.
Maud Pie: It won't be in the game tonight.
Twilight Sparkle: Rule thirty-seven point two C. No back-to-back categories. But I think Fluttershy was joking.
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Sure sounded like a joke to me! [giggles] Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie?!
Pinkie Pie: Present!
[dramatic musical sting]
Twilight Sparkle: [panicked muttering]
Spike: What's wrong, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I hadn't anticipated Pinkie Pie as a potential player! She's never played before! My chart is completely off! I have no way to predict what'll happen, and unpredictable is not good for a Trivia Trot three-peat!
Spike: Do I have to do that thing where I list all your successes as Princess of Friendship to put things into perspective and remind you this is just a game?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! This has nothing to do with being the Princess of Friendship! And this is not just a game! This! Is! Trivia Trot!
[tapping]
Granny Smith: Okay, settle down, everypony. I'm fixin' to pick these here teams.
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] It's starting! I have to reevaluate my chart! Spike, I need you to find the part on matchups! Can you look outside?
[teleportation zap]
[door opens]
Spike: What'd I miss?
Twilight Sparkle: Granny's about to call out the fifth team. Sunburst gave me the highest chance of winning, but he's been paired with Cranky Doodle!
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [mumbles, muttering] What? Who's that?
Twilight Sparkle: At least Rainbow Dash and Applejack aren't together. Team Apple-Dash is basically unstoppable.
Applejack: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
Twilight Sparkle: And apart they'll spend all their energy trying to one-up each other, so that only helps my chances.
Bulk Biceps: Let's do this! Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: Eh, not every team is a threat, but there aren't many ponies left.
Granny Smith: All righty, hold on to your horseshoes, 'cause the next pair of players is... Maud and Mudbriar!
[crowd groans]
Spike: What's wrong?
Twilight Sparkle: Maud and Mudbriar have been paired together every week. It's a statistical improbability! Which would be fine if they weren't so good.
[sizzling]
Twilight Sparkle: [deep gasp] Oh, no! According to my calculations, the only pony who could really threaten my winning streak is...!
Granny Smith: And our final pair of contestants for this week's Trivia Trot is... Twilight and Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! It's you and me! Isn't that great?
[clatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. Great.
Spike: So, I'm guessing the one pony who could mess up your winning streak is Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! I can't believe we're partners for a game! I love games! And I'm super duper excited for this game because it'll be my first time ever playing, and I get to play with you, which makes it even funner!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight and Pinkie Pie forever! Ooh! We could be Team Twinkie! Or [gasps] Team Pink-Light! [gasps] Sparkle Pie! No-no-no-no! [gasps] Twi-Pie! [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I'm glad you're excited, but tonight's game is special. I could be the first pony ever to win three consecutive Trots in a row. And I'm really hoping I do.
Pinkie Pie: You don't have anything to worry about. I'll do everything I can to be the bestest and most funnest teammate ever.
[bell ringing]
Spike: So... still think you can win?
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales] I know I can. Pinkie might not be the partner I expected, but I can coach her along. And besides, I'm pretty good at this game. If she misses a few, I'm sure I can pick up the slack.
[airhorn blows]
Pinkie Pie: Let's get this party started!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously]
Granny Smith: Now, the first order of business is we need somepony to keep score.
Spike: I'll do it!
Applejack: [laughs] I'm not sure you wanna take that job, Spike. The score-keepin' can get a mite intense.
Sunburst: Yeah. Starlight used to do it, but now... Well, I can't even say the word "trivia" around her.
Granny Smith: [scoffs] Apple mash. Don't let them scare ya. You'll be fine. Now, let the games begin!
[crowd cheers]
Applejack:
Get ready to get squashed! Hey, don't copy me!
Rainbow Dash:
Get ready to get squished! Hey, don't copy me!
Granny Smith: The first category is "Literary Figures".
[crowd groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! A category about books! We're off to a great start!
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Granny Smith: [clears throat] Who is the pony that despises the holiday season in the old classic A Hearth's Warmin' Tale?
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: The answer is nopony! Because everypony ends up loving the holiday with singing, festive cakes, and thoughtful presents!
[beat]
Granny Smith: Well, as much as that ain't exactly wrong, it ain't exactly right neither.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs nervously]
Twilight Sparkle: [whines]
Spike: Just doing my job, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry. I didn't know we could have negative points.
Twilight Sparkle: It's fine, Pinkie. But maybe it'll help our chances if I coach you as we go. Tip one – try sitting still.
Pinkie Pie: Can do, Coach Twilight—
Twilight Sparkle: And don't get distracted. Or be distracting. Oh, and remember to listen carefully. Also, it's best to keep quiet between questions.
Pinkie Pie: Got it.
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers] Sitting still, sitting still, sitting still...! [continues under]
Granny Smith: Which topographical locale used to be a cavern, but after thousands of years of erosion, is now a gorge?
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: What?!
[bell rings]
Maud Pie: The answer is the Ghastly Gorge.
Granny Smith: That is one hundred percent correct!
Applejack: [chomp]
Granny Smith: The next category is "Apples"!
Rainbow Dash: Rigged!
Applejack: I didn't hear you complain when the category was "Wonderbolt History".
Rainbow Dash: But... [stutters] that-that's totally different!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Pinkie. Remember, the category is "Apples". Keep your mind on apples.
Pinkie Pie: Apples, apples, apples, apples... Ooh, and oranges. And grapes! And strawberries. [gasps] Strawberry cupcakes! I'm hungry.
Granny Smith: Which variety of apple only blooms for five days?
Rainbow Dash: [coughs] Don't choke. [whistles]
Applejack: Now, why would I choke on a question about apples? Uh... What was the question again?
Granny Smith: You kiddin' me?
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Pinkie, you know this one. Mysterious apples? Only around for five days?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[stomach growls]
Pinkie Pie: Quiet down there. Pretty sure there's a rule against tummies ringing in.
[bell rings]
Fluttershy: Um, I'm just guessing, but is it zap apples?
Granny Smith: Finally! Yes, Fluttershy, it is. At least somepony here knows her apples.
Bulk Biceps: Yeah!
[thud]
Fluttershy: [weak laugh]
[stomach growls]
Spike: One minute left in the refreshment/bathroom break—! Aah!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! I don't think I can coach Pinkie well enough for us to get my three-peat! I don't want her to feel bad! She's trying so hard, but I might have to start answering everything myself!
Pinkie Pie: Look, Twilight! No more belly growl interruptions for Team Twi-Pie! [chomps, gulps]
Spike: Maybe instead of focusing on Pinkie, you should just focus on how you're playing.
Twilight Sparkle: Or... I should look at how everypony else is playing.
Granny Smith: Hope you're all in your seats 'cause the break is over, and it is time for more questions. [muttering] Let me see, uh... How do you say "reward" in Olde Ponish?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[smack!]
[bell rings]
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [snoring]
Sunburst: "Reward" in Olde Ponish is "hliet".
Granny Smith: Correct!
Twilight Sparkle: Sleeping!
[crowd muttering]
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] Sunburst's partner is sleeping. And according to rule fifty-seven point six, sleeping on the table is subject to dis-qual-i-fi-ca-tion!
Granny Smith: Oh, looky here. That's an actual rule. Cranky is disqualified. I'm sorry, Sunburst. Without your teammate, you can't play neither.
Sunburst: Aw, fine! But I'm counting that as a correct answer! [groans] Can't even stay awake for five minutes...
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Pinkie. We're not out of this game yet.
Angel: [whispering]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
[bell rings]
Fluttershy: Is the answer carrots?
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Rule thirteen point two! No help from pets!
Applejack: Nyah!
Rainbow Dash: Nyah!
Twilight Sparkle: Rule seventy-two point eight! No sticking tongues out at opponents!
Twilight Sparkle: Motion to establish new rule! No expressionless contestants!
Granny Smith: Nice try.
Twilight Sparkle: Fine.
Granny Smith: The next category is... "Cupcakes"!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Twilight! I know all about those! You have to let me help!
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales heavily] Suuuure! Just when we're finally back in the game! [laughs crazily] Why, that sounds perfect, Pinkie, but... Ooh! Isn't that a confetti appreciation parade I see?
Pinkie Pie: Where?!
[zip!]
Granny Smith: What flavor cupcakes did Princess Celestia order for Princess Luna's surprise birthday party last year?
Pinkie Pie: Wait, what?!
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Double midnight chocolate fudge with chili pepper frosting!
Granny Smith: Correct!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! I knew that! I made those cupcakes!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Pinkie. But you were looking at the parade, and I didn't want our team to miss out on the point.
Pinkie Pie: I guess that makes sense, but which way did that confetti parade go anyway?
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: 1547 Pony B.E.!
[smack!]
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Vanhoover!
[splat]
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Cutie Pox!
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Bananaaaaas!
Granny Smith: The category is "Sticks and Stones".
Twilight Sparkle: [brays] I don't know anything about those! That's not any kind of category!
Mudbriar: Technically, it's a kind of category where we know the answers and you don't.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating]
Pinkie Pie: Don't worry, fellow Twi-Pie. I grew up on a rock farm. I'm sure I know some of these.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating faster]
Granny Smith: What kind of stone can be used to start a fire?
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: The black one!
Maud Pie: The answer is flint.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, that one! We both get points, right?
Sunburst: Sorry, Pinkie. Rule four – answers must be specific and exact. I'd help you if I could. I know this category pretty well.
Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Pinkie! I forgot the name of that famous rock in Griffonstone. Could you ask Maud?
Pinkie Pie: You got it! Hey, Maud! What's the name of the famous rock in Griffonstone?
Maud Pie: Pinkie, you can't ask me that.
Pinkie Pie: Sure I can. I just did.
[crowd muttering]
Pinkie Pie: What?
Granny Smith: You can't go and ask another player about rocks when that's the category. It's in the rulebook. Where's... Sorry, Pinkie, but you're disqualified.
Pinkie Pie: What?!
[loud thud]
Pinkie Pie: I-I can't believe I'm disqualified! [whines]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously] I'm sorry, Pinkie. Guess I forgot about that rule.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no! If I'm out, you don't have a partner! You won't be able to get your third win!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, since there's another player who has also had his teammate disqualified...
Sunburst: Rule nineteen point seven B, whereby players whose teammates were disqualified may form a new team.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Okay. Um, I'll just cheer you on from... over there.
[balloons deflate]
Granny Smith: The next category is "Ancient Legends".
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, we're gonna crush this round!
Sunburst: I don't know, Twilight. You seem out of the zone today. But don't worry. I can pick up the slack.
Twilight Sparkle: What?! I am the reigning Trot champ! If there's any slack that needs picking, I'll be the up! I mean, wait...
Sunburst: I'm just saying you seem a little frazzled, and I do have a correct answer percentage to maintain.
Granny Smith: Who traveled to Equestria from a distant land seeking to steal the magic from its pony inhabitants?
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: That would be Lord Tirek!
[bell rings]
Mudbriar: Technically, that answer is incomplete. The answer is Lord Tirek and Scorpan.
Twilight Sparkle: But Scorpan tried to convince Tirek not to do it, so technically he wasn't part of it, even if he started out—! [groans] Never mind.
[montage music]
[bell rings]
[bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Look, Sunburst. I realize I may have been a little off earlier, but I'm really good at this game.
Granny Smith: How many holes are there in Daring Do's hat?
[bell rings]
Rainbow Dash: Twenty!
Granny Smith: Correct!
Rainbow Dash: Ha!
Sunburst: Twilight, I knew that one! You just cost us a point and the correct answer I needed to boost my percentage!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I knew it, too. You're not the only pony to ever read a book, you know?
Sunburst: You're right, Twilight. I'm sorry. But now that I think about it, I'm not so sure about Dash's answer. Could you do a quick fact check?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I know it's twenty. But if you want proof... Wait! According to rule eighteen point three, I can't check outside reference material.
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Are you trying to get me disqualified?! What kind of pony would do that to their own teammate?!
Sunburst: You're right, Twilight. I don't know what got into me. I was so focused on my correct answers, I wasn't thinking straight. Can you forgive me?
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Sunburst. I understand. And I have a teammate of my own to apologize to. Lucky for you, Cranky's awake. And according to rule fifty-seven point six B...
Sunburst: Players previously disqualified for sleeping may rejoin the game. Provided they're well-rested.
Cranky Doodle Donkey: [mutters] Where am I? What time is it? Where are my morning haycakes?!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you were the best teammate I could ask for, but I let wanting to win keep me from seeing that.
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] I knew you wanted to win, but I probably could have helped a little. And even if I couldn't...
Twilight Sparkle: ...we still could've had fun. I'm so sorry for not realizing it. I got so obsessed with one thing, I forgot what really mattered.
Pinkie Pie: [sarcastically] No! That doesn't sound like you at all!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, win or lose, nothing is more important than my friend. Or my team. Twi-Pie forever?
Pinkie Pie: I-I don't know.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand. I guess even the Princess of Friendship can mess things up with her friends.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, it's not that. It's just that I already changed it to Team Twi-Burst, and now I guess I should change it to Sun-Doodle? [chomps]
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I have a better idea.
Twilight Sparkle: According to rule thirteen point two, players can join the game at any time, provided they start from zero.
Pinkie Pie: Wow. These rules are really convoluted. But doesn't starting from zero mean we'll lose?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, our chances aren't good, but the odds of having fun on Team Twi-Pie are one hundred percent!
Granny Smith: What is the name of the Ponyville Day Spa's most popular candle?
[bell rings]
Pinkie Pie:
Candlelicious Melty Wax!
Twilight Sparkle:
Competitive Library Musk!
Granny Smith: Uh... no.
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie: [laugh]
[credits]

The Summer Sun Setback

Cozy Glow: [clears throat] Where are ya goin'?
Grogar: Since you three were unable to retrieve my Bewitching Bell, we need another source of great magical power to defeat Twilight and her friends.
Cozy Glow: [singsongy] He's gone!
Lord Tirek: I don't trust him.
Cozy Glow: None of us do.
Queen Chrysalis: Which is why double-crossing him with his own bell will be so satisfying.
Lord Tirek: If we can figure out how to use it.
Queen Chrysalis: Hmmm...
[rattling]
Cozy Glow: Twilight Sparkle may be the worst, but she does know stuff. She once said the Archives in Canterlot has a restricted area.
Lord Tirek: Celestia and Luna love to hoard information for themselves. If there's an answer, it's there.
Queen Chrysalis: My triumphant return to Canterlot? I like the sound of that.
Cozy Glow: Oh, my gosh! Road trip!
[theme song]
[door opens]
Princess Celestia: Sorry to interrupt. We know you're busy planning the Summer Sun Celebration as we requested. But...
Princess Luna: Oh! Things seem, uh, calmer than we would've expected.
Spike: No complaints here.
Twilight Sparkle: With the exception of the odd trivia night, I've made a lot of progress since the Royal Swanifying Ceremony. You may not know this about me, but I occasionally freak out.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: That was a joke. I wanted to show you with the Summer Sun Celebration how much I've improved. So I focused on delegating and trusting others. It's been great!
Princess Luna: That's... actually what we came to talk to you about. This may be the last Summer Sun Celebration you'll need to plan.
Twilight Sparkle: Did I do something wrong?
Princess Celestia: Of course not. It's just that the Celebration has always been about us. My defeat of Luna...
Princess Luna: ...and, thanks to you and your friends, my reunion with my sister.
Princess Celestia: Now that we're leaving, we don't see a need for the holiday any longer.
Twilight Sparkle: Now that you're...
Princess Celestia: My sister and I have decided. The time for us to retire is upon us. You and your friends have proven you are ready to lead Equestria. So let this be the last Summer Sun Celebration as Equestria leaves behind the old to embrace the new!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulps]
Rarity: My goodness! How are you feeling about all this?
Pinkie Pie: Something like this could definitely send you into full freaky-outy mode!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm actually fine. But if this is gonna be the last Summer Sun Celebration, I want to make sure it's the best Celebration ever!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Please-don't-give-us-more-work... Please-don't-give-us-more-work... Please-don't-give-us-more-work...
Twilight Sparkle: So, even though everything was done, I thought of a few last-minute changes I could use your help with.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] I knew it!
Discord: [echoing] Oh, the end of a beloved holiday? Last-minute changes to a celebration?
[poof!]
Discord: That sounds positively chaotic!
Applejack: What are you doin' here?
Discord: I've known Celestia and Luna longer than any of you. I terrorized them, they turned me into stone...
[crack]
[crumble]
Discord: If this is the last Summer Sun Situation, I simply can't miss it. Well, I see I've arrived just in time for the "Twilight gives her friends an impossibly long and overly detailed list" predicament.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess some draconequus isn't the know-it-all he thinks he is.
Rainbow Dash: This is it?
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Rainbow Dash: We were kinda with Discord on this one.
Twilight Sparkle: No more crazy lists. No more freaking out. With your help, I know we've got this.
Discord: [groans] Character growth is so boring. Do I at least get my own note card?
Twilight Sparkle: There. Now, I need to go rewrite my speech. But if you all look at your cards, you'll see—
Discord: Can't talk now. Have so much to get done before sunrise. [snaps fingers]
[poof!]
[clatter]
Lord Tirek: Why are so many ponies up in the middle of the night?
Cozy Glow: It's that silly sun holiday.
Queen Chrysalis: How many holidays do you ponies have? No matter. Getting into the castle won't be a problem.
Lord Tirek: Are you sure about that?
[fans whirring]
[bird chirping]
Queen Chrysalis: Oh. Those are new. But even so...
[transformation noise]
[wood creaking]
Queen Chrysalis: [affected voice] Transfer. Have to head inside. Open up.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Queen Chrysalis: Right. Of course. [laughs nervously]
[thuds]
Queen Chrysalis: Uh, do yours get glitchy too? More medallions, more problems, am I right?
Queen Chrysalis: [normal voice] They've increased security into the castle. This is going to be more challenging than I thought.
[transformation noise]
[poof!]
Rainbow Dash: Could you not go popping us all over the place, please?!
Discord: Time is of the essence. Let's go, team!
Fluttershy: We need to know what we're doing before we go and do it.
Applejack: Pinkie, you and I are givin' Braeburn and the Appleloosan ponies some adjustments to the menu.
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy and I are meeting the Pegasi from Cloudsdale to give them changes to the weather.
Rarity: Spike, we're going to update the Flaming Sky Firework Unicorn Troupe with Twilight's new vision.
Discord: And I'm supposed to... [reading] "make sure Discord doesn't do anything 'Discord-y'"? Well, that's annoyingly specific!
Lord Tirek: Increased security on a crowded holiday with Twilight and her friends bumbling around? This is impossible.
Queen Chrysalis: Oh, no. This is perfect. We need a distraction, and those ridiculous ponies just gave it to us. Now, do exactly as I tell you.
[ponies gasp]
Pinkie Pie: Step away from the wagons! Official food-tasters here on official food-tasting business! [eating noisily]
Braeburn: [sighs] Well, it ain't gonna be easy. But I think we can whip up these new cookies Twilight wants before sunrise.
Applejack: If anypony can handle some last-minute bakin', Braeburn, it's y'all.
Pinkie Pie: [chomps, gulps]
Braeburn: We brought plenty for the Celebration. But if she keeps testin', we might be in trouble.
Pinkie Pie: [chomps, gulps] But I see a suspicious-looking cookie!
[magic sounds]
Braeburn: You okay?
[bushes rustle]
Apple Honey: I feel weak all of a sudden...
[magic sounds]
Braeburn: Is somepony back there?
[magic sounds]
Apple Cobbler: What is it?
Braeburn: Everypony... get away from the food... 'til we figure out what's goin' on...!
[ponies screaming]
[bushes rustle]
Lord Tirek: [laughing]
Feather Flatterfly: The princess wants what?!
Rainbow Dash: Just what's on that little card. No big deal.
Feather Flatterfly: No big d-d—?! I-I-It's a m-much more aggressive weather pattern than what was originally ordered! This... This is... very irregular! We'll need to... No, first we must... Wait! We ca— [wails]
Fluttershy: Take a breath.
Feather Flatterfly: [inhales]
Fluttershy: Let it out slowly.
Feather Flatterfly: [exhales] Tell the princess we will do our best.
Fluttershy: We're sure you're doing an excellent job.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah, totally. You're not gonna panic and screw it up at all!
Feather Flatterfly: I... I... I'm not built for high-pressure situations!
Cozy Glow: Golly. Sounds like you need some help.
Feather Flatterfly: Who are you?
Cozy Glow: Somepony who's organized enough to handle the small stuff so you can focus on the big picture!
Feather Flatterfly: The big... Yes! That sounds right!
Cozy Glow: [chuckles] This kind of weather has to be handled delicately. Good thing I'm here. I'll take care of everything.
[fireworks explode]
Spike: Whoa!
Rarity: The Flaming Sky Firework Troupe is a marvel.
Fire Flare: We take pride in what we do.
Spike: These last-minute changes aren't too challenging, are they?
Fire Flare: Ha! The more challenging, the better! We aim to astound! Now, if you don't mind, we do have a new routine to prepare. Horns at the ready!
[transformation noise]
Queen Chrysalis: Very impressive.
Fire Flare: Thank you. Unfortunately, we have no room for anypony else at this time... [clears throat] I'm sorry?
Queen Chrysalis: Crackle Cosette. And I don't want to join your silly little troupe.
Fire Flare: Pardon me?
Queen Chrysalis: Oh, I meant no offense. It just seems a pity for unicorns to waste their talents on something so... inconsequential.
[unicorns muttering]
Queen Chrysalis: Unicorns wield magic. We are the most powerful ponies in the land. Don't you ever feel you're destined for more than... performances?
Twilight Sparkle: It's all coming together. I really think this is gonna be the best Summer Sun Celebration ever!
Rarity: You've done an outstanding job.
Twilight Sparkle: We've all done an outstanding job!
[screech]
Discord: And what about me? You'll be happy to know that I have been watching myself all night, and I have yet to do one "Discord-y" thing.
Princess Luna: Now, that truly is amazing.
Princess Celestia: Twilight, we know you had, uh, [laughs] difficulties using the amulet to raise the sun and moon. We thought perhaps a practice session before the festivities might be in order.
Twilight Sparkle: That's... a good idea. Thank you all so much.
[doors close]
Applejack: I sure am proud o' her.
Spike: Yeah! She finally realizes things will turn out fine, even when she isn't micromanaging every little detail.
[thud]
Applejack: Braeburn? W-What's wrong?
Braeburn: Earth ponies sick... Food missin'... Can't... bake... anythin'...
Royal Guard: Something is wrong with the weather! Storms, hurricanes, fog – you name it! It's a disaster out there!
Fire Flare: Rarity! Please inform her highness that we will not be performing! A simple fireworks show is beneath us! We're better than that!
Applejack: What the...? Everything was fine a minute ago!
Fluttershy: Apparently, a lot can change in a minute.
[ponies moaning]
[thunder]
[ponies panicking]
Rainbow Dash: It's total chaos out there!
[beat]
Discord: Don't look at me.
Fluttershy: What are we gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: Do about what?
Spike: [laughs nervously] What are you doing here?
Twilight Sparkle: I forgot these. You guys okay?
Applejack: Twilight, w-we're sorry, but—
Rainbow Dash: But, uh, we don't know what to do now that everything's all ready! [forced laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: I guess I was too organized. I'll try to come up with a few last-minute errands for you before sunrise.
Rainbow Dash: [stilted] Well, that's a relief!
Applejack: Explain to me why we didn't tell her the truth.
Rarity: Oh, Twilight is finally learning not to let her stress get the better of her. If she finds out everything went wrong, it could be devastating!
Fluttershy: Oh, she would be so upset.
Rainbow Dash: She'll totally freak out!
Applejack: Well, what do y'all suggest?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Let's just fix it all before she notices. No lying necessary.
Applejack: I guess.
Spike: We'd need a miracle.
Rainbow Dash: We have a miracle! Don't we?
[poof!]
Discord: I suppose I could fix everything. But isn't the real miracle here the miracle of teamwork and character growth?
[poof!]
Rainbow Dash: OH, COME ON!
Fluttershy: Discord is right. Twilight needs us. Whatever happened, we can fix this.
[thunder and lightning]
Spike: What did happen?
[ponies screaming]
Cozy Glow: Best... road trip... ever!
Pinkie Pie: Even if I was an actual doctor, I would have no idea what's wrong.
Applejack: There's gotta be a reason. Something got 'em all sick. Maybe the food?
Pinkie Pie: I ate the food, too! Does that mean I'm sick?! Oh, nooo! [coughs]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Nope! I feel fine. [chomps]
[magic sounds]
[thud]
[unlatching sounds]
[doors open]
[thunder and lightning]
Feather Flatterfly: I don't know how this happened! I'm gonna be fired for... for sure!
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts will have all the weather rounded up any minute.
Rainbow Dash: [yelling]
[crash!]
Rainbow Dash: Or not!
[door opens]
Cozy Glow: Not here. The Archives are in a different part of the castle.
[goose honks]
Rarity: What about "aiming for perfection"?
Fire Flare: We've set our sights higher.
Spike: Higher than perfection?
Fire Flare: Higher than putting on a silly little show for the other ponies.
Rarity: But you were so excited before. What changed?
[goose honks]
Queen Chrysalis: [honks]
[transformation noise]
[clanking]
[creak]
Twilight Sparkle: You two just enjoy the festivities. I have a few surprises in store for— Yes, Discord?
Discord: Oh, well, don't mind me. I'm just here for the chaos.
[thunder and lightning]
Discord: [laughs] And here we go!
[whoosh]
Twilight Sparkle: What is Rainbow Dash doing?
[sloshing]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, is this soup?
Pinkie Pie: Yes! I... was really hungry?
[unicorns grumbling]
Rarity: Nopony understands wanting to take pride in your work more than I do!
Unicorn 1: You could do more with your magic than make frilly dresses!
Rarity: Oh, pffft. Nopony makes frills anymore. This season's actually all about simplicity—
Spike: Not the point, Rarity!
Feather Flatterfly: Princess! I beg your forgiveness! It's entirely my fault!
Twilight Sparkle: What is?
[thunder and lightning]
Feather Flatterfly: That!
Fluttershy: Oh, um, just a slight hiccup in the weather. [laughs nervously]
[whoosh]
Applejack: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, what is going on?
Applejack: I told y'all this was a bad idea! But nopony ever listens to me!
Twilight Sparkle: That's it!
Rest of Mane Six and Spike: [yelp, groan]
Twilight Sparkle: I thought everything was fine! What is going on?!
Applejack: Everythin' was goin' fine.
Pinkie Pie: Until it totally wasn't.
Fluttershy: We tried to fix it ourselves.
Twilight Sparkle: Why didn't you tell me?
Rainbow Dash: We didn't want you to freak out.
Twilight Sparkle: And you thought not telling me everything was a total disaster would avoid a freak-out?!
Spike: When you say it like that, it sounds like a really bad plan.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales]
Discord: Here it comes!
Twilight Sparkle: I know how I used to react, but I really have changed. Panicking won't solve anything. But we can handle whatever problems come our way as long as we handle them together!
Princess Celestia: Spoken like a true leader. How can we help?
Twilight Sparkle: I love a good to-do list. So tell me exactly what happened so we can figure out exactly what "to do" to fix it.
[montage music]
[whooshing]
[muffled boom]
[poof!]
[poof!]
[creaking]
[chains rattling]
[clang!]
[whooshing]
[thunder]
[fireworks]
Fire Flare: [whistles]
[fireworks]
[trumpet fanfare]
[cranking]
[crowd cheers]
Twilight Sparkle: [amplified] This Celebration has always been a reminder not to fear the night, for there is always a new day to look forward to. But as we look towards Equestria's future, I am sad to say today will be the last Summer Sun Celebration.
[crowd gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Because there is something even more important to celebrate. There are two ponies who have watched over us night and day for as long as we can remember. We will no longer commemorate their battle or their reunion. Instead, we will take this day to celebrate how much they mean to all of us. From this day forward, today will be known as the Festival of the Two Sisters!
[crowd cheers]
Princess Celestia: We don't know what to say.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] A brand new holiday? You're my kind of princess!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm just glad we pulled it off.
Applejack: About that... We just wanted to say we're real sorry.
Rarity: You did tell us you'd changed.
Fluttershy: As your friends, we should've trusted you.
Rainbow Dash: Next time you say you're not gonna freak out, we'll believe you.
Twilight Sparkle: Good. Because I'm sure there's gonna be plenty of things I'll need my best friends' help with.
Pinkie Pie: Whee-hee!
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: Aah!
[thud]
Mane Six: [laughing]
Discord: You know, it really does seem like you just might be ready for whatever comes next, your Majesty. [chewing]
Cozy Glow: Sooooo did you find what you're looking for?
Grogar: Once again, I've found success where you all find failure. I have located what I sought, and tomorrow I will set out to retrieve it. When I return, Equestria will finally be ours for the taking.
Lord Tirek: Hmph!
Queen Chrysalis: Oh, stop pouting.
Cozy Glow: You knew you couldn't stay that buff. You had to return all the life force to those Earth ponies so Grogar doesn't suspect anything.
Lord Tirek: I don't have to like it.
Cozy Glow: Well, I don't like that we worked so hard to destroy their party and they still pulled it off. But you don't see me complaining!
Queen Chrysalis: Our goal wasn't to destroy. It was to distract. And now we have exactly what we need.
Lord Tirek: And no time to waste. We have to master the Bell before Grogar returns.
Queen Chrysalis: We've managed to stay one step ahead of everypony so far.
Cozy Glow: You know, it really was super easy to get all those Earth ponies and Pegasi and unicorns to turn on each other.
Queen Chrysalis: It was, wasn't it? Now that is something to think about...
[credits]

She Talks to Angel

Antoine: [hissing]
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh. Antoine believes what he eats is his business. Do other predators feel that way, too?
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: Would anyprey like to respond? Muriel, does it bother you when Antoine tries to eat you? Just because you're on opposite ends of the food chain doesn't mean you can't work—
Muriel: [trumpets]
Fluttershy: Huh? It doesn't mean you can't...
Harry: [roars]
Fluttershy: [clears throat, strained] It doesn't mean you can't work togeth—
Sandra: [growls, chomps]
Fluttershy: Oh! [sighs] I'm sorry, but the more you distract everyone, the longer this will take.
Angel: [angry chittering]
Fluttershy: I am listening to you. But if you really want to be heard, you should join our predator/prey support group. Then you can talk to everyone here. You could teach all these hungry predators the delights of a carrot-based cuisine. Sorry, everyone. I think somebunny just wants a little attention. Now, since we all need to get along, what if all predators promise to only eat vegetables while staying at the sanctuary?
Harry: [low growl]
[animals chattering]
Sandra: [whines]
Fluttershy: Oh, Sandra, you can do it.
[stomach growls]
Sandra: [whines, growls]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Angel, Sandra, wait!
Sandra: [barking]
[rumbling]
Harry: [roars]
[crash!]
[animal sounds]
[fighting sounds]
Dr. Fauna: It might look like chaos, but Fluttershy makes it work, even with Angel running around.
Zecora: Ohhhh. Perhaps I can help those two get along before something here can go terribly wrong.
[theme song]
[birds chirping]
Dr. Fauna: Zecora found this little guy and brought him to my office. But I thought he might do better at the sanctuary.
[poof]
Angel: [coughing]
Zecora: Bringing him here seemed the right thing to do. I've never seen geckos breathe smoke though. Have you?
Fluttershy: Ooh. I certainly haven't.
Dr. Fauna: I thought we could take a look at his diet. Plus, it's about time for me to give all the animals here a checkup.
Fluttershy: That's a wonderful idea.
[lizard chirping]
Fluttershy: If we really want to know what's going on, we need to make sure the problem isn't your food.
[stomach growls]
Fluttershy: I wouldn't worry too much. It's probably just something he's been eating. Oh. [grunts] Um, is there anything else we can do for you?
Zecora: Ahhh. Seeing what you two do, the real question is – can I help you?
Angel: [blows raspberry]
Fluttershy: You mean me and Angel?
Zecora: Mm-hmm.
Fluttershy: Oh, he's fine! We're fine! I... I just don't always have time to indulge him. But we're best friends!
Zecora: Even the best of friends need help from time to time. Come visit me in my hut, should you change your mind.
Fluttershy: Okay, thanks! But Angel and I are great!
Dr. Fauna: Oh, goodness, Fluttershy. Is this the list of what you do every day? [chuckles] How do you find time for anything else?
Fluttershy: Between here and teaching at the school, I'm not sure I do. You're gonna love it here, little gecko.
[lizard chirps]
Fluttershy: What is it? Not fluffy enough?
[lizard chirps]
Fluttershy: Oh, sorry. We need to see if your food is causing your issue.
[lizard purring]
Fluttershy: Huh? Hmm. Not now, Angel.
Antoine: [hisses]
Fluttershy: There's snake treats made to look like chocolate chip cookies.
Antoine: [chews, gulps]
Fluttershy: They're vegan. Pinkie Pie made a whole jar of them. They're all yours if you promise. No more trying to eat Muriel the baby elephant. [gasps] No, Angel. I have too much to do.
Clementine: [coughing]
Dr. Fauna: Oh, careful, girl. That neck is still pretty sore.
Fluttershy: Don't forget to shift your weight, Scout!
Scout: [snoring]
Dr. Fauna: [sighs] What does she want?
Fluttershy: Her neck is feeling better, but a massage every day for the next week wouldn't hurt. I'll add it to my list.
Dr. Fauna: [laughs] Fluttershy, I've said it before, but I'll say it again. This place would be a... zoo without you! [laughs, snorts]
[thunk!]
Fluttershy: Angel!
[beat]
Fluttershy: Listen to you for once? Just what exactly is that supposed to mean?!
Angel: [chitters]
Fluttershy: Come back! I-I meant tell me, not—! [groans]
Dr. Fauna: Well, whatever it is, you're the only one he can tell about it. Little fella just wants you all to himself.
Fluttershy: Unfortunately, that's not an option.
Dr. Fauna: Aw, he's not causing any real trouble.
[crash!]
Dr. Fauna: Aah!
[birds chirping]
Dr. Fauna: Other than that, possibly.
[crash!]
Muriel: [trumpets]
Dr. Fauna: Or that. I'll just stop talking.
[zip!]
Fluttershy: [groans] I'll take care of it. I hope this is important, Angel. I barely made a dent in my to-do list for today.
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Concentrated carrot extract? That's for reviving energy-sapped herbivores. Are you feeling rundown?
Angel: [chitters]
Fluttershy: You just like the taste?! Ugh! Angel, that extract is in short supply! What's gotten into you? Every day this week, you've been causing trouble when I have work to do!
Angel: [chitters]
Fluttershy: Of course I know you can't talk to anypony else. But that's not my fault. I have responsibilities!
Angel: [growls]
Fluttershy: You're right. We can't go on like this. I guess we do need to see Zecora for help.
Zecora: No need to sit and silently stew. Tell each other what's bothering you.
Fluttershy: He's so impatient, even when he knows I have work to do.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Well, that's not true. We talk all the time.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Of course talking at the sanctuary counts. That's where I am when I don't have a class to teach.
[beat]
Fluttershy: What do you mean that's the problem?
[beat]
Fluttershy: You feel like I'm the only pony you can talk to, and all I do is ignore you? Well, I feel like you don't care about my responsibilities.
[beat]
Fluttershy: [laughs nervously] Um, as you can see, we're kind of at an impasse.
Zecora: Ahhh, such luck, your coming here indeed. Behold, the antidote you need.
Fluttershy: Is this what you meant by "help us"?
Zecora: When trouble brews between you two, turning sister against brother, true understanding is what's due. Each must come to know the other. There's no time to waste. Go directly home. But you both must taste when you're finally alone.
Fluttershy: Not yet, Angel. Zecora told us to take it together when we got home.
[beat]
Fluttershy: Hmm. I suppose we could dust off the old picnic blanket. It'll be just like old times. We'll drink the potion and settle in for a nice tea party. I can barely remember the last time we did that. I've been so busy at the sanctuary. Though I really need to keep an eye on Zecora's gecko, and I haven't finished any of today's chores. If I don't, the animals won't get the care they need. Ohh. Maybe we should just save the potion until af— Angel! Zecora said to go home first!
[pop!]
[splash]
Angel: [gulps, burps]
Fluttershy: I know she said we have to take it together, so... I guess I have to.
[pop!]
Fluttershy: [gulping, belches] I wonder what it's gonna doooo—
[magic sounds]
Angel: —whooooaaaa!
[thud]
Angel: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, hang on, hold up! Am I a pony? Why am I a pony?!
Fluttershy: [high-pitched scream]
Angel: Question. Did we switch bodies?
[thud]
Angel: Whoa! Gah! Guh! Whoooaaa-whoa-whoa! Seriously? I'm a pony? La-la-la-la! Talking is so cool. Do you think this is what Zecora meant to happen?
[beat]
Angel: How are you gonna do your chores?! Really? That's what you're worried about?
[beat]
Angel: [scoffs] Well, maybe I don't want to switch back. I've only been able to talk to you since we met. And now I can talk to anypony I want! [to Rose] Roses are red, violets are blue! You sell flowers... [to Daisy] ...and so do you!
[zip!]
Angel: [to "Cultivar"] Rubber baby buggy bumpers! [to Cream Puff] Rubber baby buggy bumpers!
Cream Puff: [crying]
Angel: Toy boat, toy boat, toy bo— Aah! Aw, come on!
[beat]
Angel: I am so too listening! Quit being so bossy because—! [gasps, sniffs] Are there carrots around here?
[beat]
Angel: You think Zecora gave us the wrong potion, so you're gonna go to her hut in the forest and get something to switch us back?
[beat]
Angel: All by yourself? You really don't know what it's like being a bunny.
[beat]
Angel: Good luck with that! I'm gonna go find those carrots!
[thudding]
Angel: I need to finish your chores? [laughs] I don't work for you. And caring about other animals is a "you" thing.
[warbling]
Angel: [gasps] The Stare?! You can still do that? Ugh! No fair making me do your bidding against my will!
[warbling]
Angel: All right! I'll go do your lame chores while you go see Zecora.
[splash]
Clementine: [slurping]
Angel: Anypony know where that useless list of Fluttershy's chores is?
Dr. Fauna: Hey, Fluttershy! I was starting to wonder if you'd make it back.
Angel: Fluttershy! Oh! Yeah! Uh, that's me! Definitely Fluttershy! A hundred percent!
[beat]
Dr. Fauna: Uh, okay.
Angel: See how shy I am? Hmm? I talk to animals, I want to marry Discord—
Dr. Fauna: Your list is over there.
Angel: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. There's my good old list of chores that I will absolutely not rush through because I definitely do not have better things to do. Well, well, well. Remember me?
Spike: [shudders] I hope the gem tart stall is still there again. I could use a snack!
Twilight Sparkle: You nearly bought every tart they had last time, Spike. I can't imagine they wouldn't show up when there's a great customer like you. Oh, hi, Angel. What's going on?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you know what he's trying to say?
Spike: Nope.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Angel. You should probably find Fluttershy. If I see her, I'll let her know you're looking for her.
Fluttershy: [panting]
[tense music]
Sandra: [stressed barking, whines]
Angel: And we're gonna keep at it until you start to develop a taste for it!
Sandra: [whines]
Angel: Uh... [reading] "Check Muriel's trunk."
Muriel: [exhales, deep inhale]
[keys jingling]
[thunk]
Angel: Eh, seems fine to me. As long as we don't need those keys.
Muriel: [whines]
Angel: Anyway, let's see. [reading] "Massage Clementine's neck."
Clementine: [coughing]
[hard thuds]
Clementine: [coughing]
Angel: [reading] "Get Scout to switch legs"?
Scout: [snoring]
Angel: Eh, probably best not to wake him. Did the thing with the thing, yadda-yadda-yadda, animals, animals, animals... All that's left is... "Monitor Zecora's gecko until bedtime"?
[beat]
Angel: All right, dude. How about we do bedtime now?
[lizard chirps]
Angel: Yeah, eating makes me tired, too. Which reminds me. There's some carrot extract with my name on it. Okay! Let's get you fed and off to dreamland! What do you eat anyway?
[lizard chirps]
Angel: [to Antoine] What do you say, snake? Can you find something else to eat if I borrow those cookies for my friend here?
[jar clinks]
[lizard gulping, burps]
Angel: Eh, I'm sure that's normal. There you go. Problem solved. I don't see what's so hard about this job. Fluttershy is such a whiner.
Antoine: [hissing]
[thud]
[bushes rustling]
Fluttershy: [panting, squeals]
[eagle squawking]
[thud]
Fluttershy: [panting]
Zecora: Quite a day, my fuzzy friend. Did things work out for you in the end?
[beat]
Zecora: I'm... sorry, dear bunny, that things seem so grave. But I don't understand when you sign and wave. A single link to all the world. Only one in all the land. How special she must be to you, the one who understands. Perhaps if you explain what you wanted to some pony who understood. If you truly felt heard and valued, all would return to good. And if you were to both apologize, having learned this little lesson, I imagine that might bring an end to the friendship therapy session.
[door creaking]
Angel: [grunting]
Dr. Fauna: Fluttershy? Do you mind helping me look for Muriel the baby elephant?
Angel: Oh, she's having dinner with Antoine.
Dr. Fauna: Antoine the python?!
Angel: It was on the list. "Remember – Antoine wants to have Muriel over for dinner."
Dr. Fauna: Not OVER for dinner! He wants to have her FOR dinner!
Angel: Wait. What?!
Muriel: [muffled trumpeting]
Dr. Fauna: Bad snake! Open your mouth this instant, mister!
[mice squeaking]
Sandra: [growls, barks, whines, barks]
Harry: [growls]
[crack!]
Scout: [crying]
Clementine: [coughs]
[fire whooshes]
Dr. Fauna: Aah! What is going on?! You did all the chores on your list! Huh?! Didn't you?!
Angel: Well, technically I did 'em, kind of. But more technically, it's not my list.
Dr. Fauna: You wrote it!
Angel: Did I though?
Dr. Fauna: What's gotten into you?!
Angel: You do not want to know.
[thud]
Dr. Fauna: Huh? Angel?
Angel: What's wrong with her— h-him?! What happened?
Dr. Fauna: He's exhausted!
Angel: [whimpers]
Dr. Fauna: Fluttershy! I need a jar of concentrated carrot extract! Stat!
Angel: Ah! It's locked in the supply room!
Dr. Fauna: Where are your keys?!
Angel: Uhhh...
Muriel: [muffled trumpeting]
Angel: Any ideas how to get the keys out of the elephant that's inside the snake?
[animals grunt]
Angel: Okay, point taken. And I totally deserve it. I did not provide you with the care that Fluttershy would. But now you know what it's like not to get the level of attention to which you've become accustomed!
Sandra: [grunts]
Angel: The point is... Fluttershy is trapped in my bunny body. If we don't help her, maybe none of us will get her attention! I get that you don't want to help me. But don't you want to help her?
[animals chattering]
Sandra: [grunts]
Angel: Here goes nothin'.
[creaking]
Antoine: [hissing]
[squirrels chittering]
[pop!]
Muriel: [trumpets]
[thud]
Angel: [gasps] Now we just need to get those keys out of there.
Antoine: [hisses loudly]
Muriel: [trumpets]
[keys jingling]
Angel: [laughs] Nice one, snake. I guess Fluttershy was right. Predators and prey can work together.
Angel: [grunting, panting] This place is so... much... work!
Dr. Fauna: Oh, I know. I have no clue how you do it all. But we are so grateful.
Angel: I can't believe she does this every day! I just wish I could tell her myself.
Dr. Fauna: What?
Angel: [whimpers] You're awake!
[beat]
Angel: It was so hard getting to Zecora's hut? And impossible getting back? You can't believe I survive like this?
[beat]
Angel: Well, I can't believe you work here every day! These animals are crazy! No wonder you don't have time for me.
[beat]
Angel: My life is hard? No, your life is hard!
[beat]
Angel: You never appreciated me? No! I never appreciated you!
[beat]
Angel: You're sorry? I'm sorry, too! Come here, you little bunny who's a pony who's a bunny! Ooh!
[magic sounds]
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness! I'm back! I'm a pony again!
[smack!]
Fluttershy: Oh, Angel. I promise to always make time for you from now on.
[beat]
Fluttershy: What do you mean maybe I won't have to?
[beat]
Fluttershy: You want to do what?!
Fluttershy: "And that's when I realized Fluttershy doesn't have to be the only one I talk to. I can come here and talk to all of you. And now that I know how much work goes into this place, I suppose I can kinda sorta help out every now and then."
[squirrels chitter]
Sandra: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Oh, Angel. That is so sweet. But now that I know what you go through every day, I understand why your time with me is so important. I promise to always make time for you.
[animals grunt, applaud]
Dr. Fauna: Turns out your friend here doesn't have a problem at all. He isn't a gecko. He's a fire lizard.
[fire whooshes]
Dr. Fauna: I forgot that before they get their flame, it's hard to tell them apart. [laughs]
Zecora: I'm glad to discover where the source of it lies, or the fire that he breathes would be quite the surprise.
Dr. Fauna: Speaking of surprises, can you please never do that again?!
[credits]

Dragon Dropped

[door opens]
Rarity: [singsong] Oh, Spiiiike? Are you in here? Hellooooo?
[beat]
Rarity: Spike?
Spike: Mm-hmm...
Rarity: Oh, there you are! I was starting to think you weren't here. I realize this is last-minute, but I've decided on a quick trip to the gem cave! I am on an urgent mission to find some faceted iridescence for my new design, and I can't think of anypony I'd rather have along than my favorite basket holder/bodyguard Spike.
[beat]
Rarity: Spike?
[beat]
Rarity: Spiiiike?
[beat]
Rarity: [echoing] SPIKE!
[thud]
Spike: What? Oh. Hey, Rarity.
Rarity: Honestly, Spike. It's almost as if you haven't been listening.
Spike: [blows fire] Oh, uh... of course I was. But just to be sure, could you say it all again?
Rarity: [sighs] I was saying that I had planned on visiting the gem cave—
Spike: Oh, no! Is that the time?!
Rarity: Aah!
Spike: [panting]
Rarity: Of course, you're right. This is a bit of a late start, and those gems won't pick themselves.
Spike: Uh-huh.
[doors open]
Rarity: But the real question is which basket do you want to hold? The smaller one, right? [laughs]
Spike: Oh, right. Sorry, Rarity. Can I take a rain check on... What was that again?
[beat]
Rarity: The... gem cave?
Spike: Right. Sounds great. But I need to get to the post office before noon.
Rarity: [laughs] All right, very funny. Obviously, you'll get the bigger basket, and I shall—
[beat]
Rarity: Spike? Hello?
[theme song]
[gem clinking]
Rarity: I don't understand. For as long as we've known each other, Spike has never turned down an opportunity to join me here. It's his favorite place.
[gem clinking]
Rarity: Ideally you catch the gems, dear. And for a trip to the post office of all places?
[gem clinking]
Rarity: Maybe you should move closer? And why would Spike need to go to the post office at all? He sends mail by breathing! Breathing, darling! Breath mail!
[gems clinking]
Rarity: Honestly, Applejack, if you're going to fill in, you could make an attempt to hold the basket the way Spike would.
Applejack: [spits] And how's that?
Rarity: Well, for one thing, Spike knows how to keep things quiet so as not to waken the bats.
[bats squeaking]
Rarity: And he usually pulls me closely so no gem ever touches the ground!
Applejack: [gasps] Rarity, Spike's been followin' you closely since he got to Ponyville. And in case you hadn't noticed... [echoing] I AIN'T SPIKE!
[bats squeaking]
Rarity and Applejack: [yelping]
Rarity: Actually, Applejack, I had noticed!
[doors open]
[books thudding]
Twilight Sparkle: Um, hi, Rarity. What's up?
Rarity: Ugh! Besides my mane? Well, that is a question for Spike.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Well, Spike isn't here. I think he's at the post office.
[scraping sounds]
Rarity: Again?! What is it with Spike and the post office?!
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, what's going on?
Rarity: Spike declined my invitation to the gem cave, and I intend to find out why.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. That doesn't sound like Spike. Did you two have some sort of fight?
Rarity: A fight? Goodness, Twilight. What in Equestria would we fight about?
Twilight Sparkle: I've had arguments with friends before, and they can put a real strain on friendships.
Rarity: Well, certainly. But I think I'd remember if we had an argument.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you didn't realize it? Do you think you could've done something that unintentionally hurt his feelings?
Rarity: Well, if I didn't realize what I did, how would I know what I have done when I did it? [brays] I wonder if that's it. It certainly would explain his behavior. I must apologize!
Twilight Sparkle: For what?
Rarity: Oh, pfft. That's hardly the point. Poor Spikey-Wikey! This calls for a grand gesture!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Good talk. [groans]
[door opens]
Rarity: [grunting]
[scraping]
[clang!]
Gabby: Wow! That's a big crate of stuff you're mailing.
Rarity: I'm not mailing it.
Gabby: Then why are you pushing it into the post office?
Rarity: Oh. I didn't realize griffons worked at the Ponyville Post Office.
Gabby: Oh! [giggles] No, I don't work here exactly. I'm the official mail carrier of Griffonstone. Gabby Griffon. Nice to meet ya!
[rattling]
Rarity: [sighs] Yes, well, uh, these things aren't for sending. They're for apologizing to Spike.
Gabby: Oh! Spike was just here. He went to go make us a—
Rarity: That's perfect! It'll give me a chance to practice. Uh, you stand there and tell me if I hit the right apologetic notes.
Gabby: What are you apologizing for?
Rarity: Darling, I don't see why that matters.
[clattering]
[gems clinking]
[thud]
[ka-chunk!]
[deep boom]
[music playing]
Rarity: [overdramatically] And that is why I simply cannot bear the thought of having hurt you! And even though I don't know what it is that I did, I want you to know that it doesn't matter! Because I am prepared to do anything to make it right! [sobs] And scene.
[ka-chunk!]
Gabby: [muffled speech]
Rarity: Oh, sorry, dear. Here.
Gabby: I said, that sure sounds genuine.
Rarity: Well, of course it sounds genuine! It is genuine!
[thud]
Spike: Rarity? What are you doing?
Rarity: Obviously, I'm working on my apology to you, Spike. I don't know how I could be more genuine. I mean— [gasps] Spike!
[zip!]
[ka-chunk!]
[deep boom]
[music playing]
Rarity: [overdramatically] Oh, Spike! I am so sorry! Please forgive me!
[crash!]
[cat yowls]
Rarity: [overdramatically] You have to forgive me! I don't know what I did or why you're mad at me! Just please say you forgive me! [wailing] Pleeeeeeeease!
Spike: Of course I forgive you. But, uh, what are you apologizing for?
[ka-chunk!]
Rarity: Why does everypony keep harping on that—?! Wait. Don't you know?
Spike: No, I'm not mad at you about anything.
Rarity: B-But... But I don't understand. If you're not upset with me, why in Equestria would you refuse to go to the gem cave?
Spike: Uh, because I had other plans?
[clattering]
Gabby: With me!
Rarity: [gasps]
Rarity: I don't understand. You two know each other?
Spike: Gabby and I are sort of pen pals.
Gabby: Yeah! There was this whole thing where I pretended to get a cutie mark because griffons don't get cutie marks, so Princess Twilight had Spike send a bunch of letters off to Griffonstone about the first griffon ever to get a cutie mark! Which I didn't really have.
Spike: Gabby wrote back explaining things, and after that we just started writing back and forth.
Gabby: Turns out we have a lot in common! We both come from cultures that don't have the friendliest of reputations.
Spike: [slurps] And we're both in the message-sending business!
Gabby: Uh-huh!
Spike and Gabby: [chomp, gulp]
Gabby: I sure wish I could send scrolls with my breath!
Spike and Gabby: [laughing]
Rarity: [forced laugh] Yes... Now I understand why you didn't come to the gem cave. Having a friend in town is a rare treat. Well, since you're busy today, maybe we can do something tomorrow. Fabric shopping? I know how you love to pick out the colors.
Spike: Uh, actually, now that there's a griffon at Twilight's school, Gabby's here all the time.
Gabby: Grampa Gruff asks for a lot of updates about how Gallus is doing. [sighs] Speaking of which, I better get going.
Spike: I'll fly with you.
Rarity: Well, all right. You two fly along. I'm sure Spike and I can do something some other—
[beat]
Rarity: ...time?
Rarity: I cannot decide which shade of purple is the most royal! And there's the pink! How will I ever choose?!
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] Too bad Spike's not here. I bet he could help you narrow it down.
Rarity: He is a good sounding board, isn't he?
[muffled thud]
[curtains close]
[montage music]
[camera clicks]
[bits clinking]
[door opens]
[door opens]
[thud]
[slurping]
[sewing machine whirring]
Rarity: [sighs] Could you bring the pincushion a little closer, dear? I suppose now that Spike's always so busy with Gabby, I'm just now realizing how much his presence has meant to me over the years.
[beat]
Rarity: Even closer, darling. I don't want to prick you. I have to admit everything feels a bit "less than" without him. Too close!
[thud]
Rarity: Oh, darling, it's no use. Thank you for trying. I'm just accustomed to the help of a small, highly attentive dragon.
Fluttershy: Maybe you should let Spike know how grateful you are for everything he's done for you.
Spike: [snoring] Aah!
Rarity: Oh, I am sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to frighten you.
Spike: Rarity? What are you doing here?
Rarity: Well, I realize it's late. Or rather, early. But I have a surprise, and I just couldn't wait to share it. The Great Gem Crevasse of the Crystal Mountains!
[click]
Spike: Whoa!
Rarity: It is only accessible once a year, and I thought a little day trip would make a wonderful thank you for all the help you've given me over the years.
Spike: Oh. But I'm supposed to meet Gabby today for her rounds.
Rarity: I see. Well, there's always next year.
[door opens]
Spike: You know what? I'll just write her a note.
Rarity: Are you sure?
Spike: Absolutely.
[train chugging]
[train hisses]
[gems clinking]
Spike: Wow. Rarity, you weren't kidding. The Gem Crevasse was amazing! I'll be snacking on these for a week.
Rarity: What did I tell you?
Gabby: Hey, Spike!
Spike: Gabby! You won't believe where I went today!
Gabby: Actually, I think I will. I got your scroll. The Great Gem Crevasse sounds a lot better than doing my rounds.
Spike: Mm-hmm!
[gems clinking]
Gabby: Whoa! It was definitely better! I gotta get back to Griffonstone, but you have to tell me all about the Crevasse tomorrow!
Spike: Absolutely! [grunts] Thanks again, Rarity. What a great day.
Gabby: Okay! Start from the beginning, because I want to hear everything!
Spike: Well, to get to the Crevasse, you have to climb across a rope bridge because the air's too thin to fly!
Gabby: That is amazing! Then what?!
[thud]
Gabby: Whoa!
Spike: Sorry, Rarity!
Rarity: Oh, no apology necessary, Spike. In fact, I was just looking for you.
Spike: You were? Why?
Rarity: Because I just acquired... these!
Spike: Passes to Power Ponypalooza!? For today!?
Rarity: Mm-hmm! I know we just went to the Crevasse, but I feel I've barely scratched the surface of expressing my gratitude for all you do.
Spike: Uh... of course I want to go, but that'll be two days in a row we haven't hung out.
Gabby: Nah! Are you kidding? It's Power Ponypalooza! You have to go! And now you'll have two things to tell me about!
Spike: Okay! Come on, Rarity! Let's go!
Spike: Whew! Are my claws sore.
Rarity: Indeed. I had no idea how much walking there is at a Power Pony convention!
Spike: [grunting] Aww. I know I told Gabby we'd hang out tomorrow, but I might need the whole day to rest.
Rarity: Whoo. I know what you mean. Perhaps you could, uh, just send her another note.
Rarity and Spike: [grunting]
Spike: [chuckles] I think maybe you're right.
Rarity: Honestly, I might need to spend tomorrow putting my hooves up as well. [laughs]
[door opens]
[knock on door]
[door opens]
Rarity: I hadn't counted on Power Ponypalooza being quite so draining, but I thought we might spend the day recuperating together.
Spike: No way! Ogres & Oubliettes?!
Rarity: Well, I know how much you enjoy it. And this seemed like the perfect opportunity for you to teach me the game.
[door opens]
Gabby: [echoing] Spike? I got your note! I figured I'd come by before my rounds with a bowl of energizing turnip soup.
Rarity and Spike: [laughter fading in]
Rarity: Can Princess Shmarity use her Shield of the Coiffure to defend herself from the purveyor of poor color coordination?
Spike: Oh, she can try... Success! Shmarity's shield holds against the Green-Eyed Monster's attack! And then—!
Gabby: Spike?
Spike: Oh, hi, Gabby. We were just—
Gabby: Your scroll said you were too tired to do anything today. But I guess you were just too tired to do anything with me.
Spike: No-no-no-no! That's not true! I can come with you on your rounds right now!
Gabby: I don't think so, Spike. Maybe I'll just handle the rounds on my own from now on.
[thermos clinking]
Rarity: Oooh! Princess Shmarity uses her Prismatic Beam to change that poor monster's color to a more pleasing shade of purple!
Rarity: What do you think, Spike? Solids or prints?
Spike: [sighs] Prints, I guess. You already have a lot of solid colors.
Rarity: Oh, you are so right. Prints it is! So nice to have you back, Spike.
[cash register rings]
Rarity: Although I hope you're able to reconcile with Gabby.
Spike: I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to.
[montage music]
Rarity: I quite enjoyed our day together today, Spike.
Spike: Yeah...
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, Spike.
Spike: Uh-huh...
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. I've never seen Spike this sad before. Do you know what happened?
Rarity: [clears throat] Yes, well, perhaps he's still just tired from Power Ponypalooza.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think that's it.
Rarity: I... suppose... it's possible it could have something to do with... [coughs] Gabby not wanting to spend time with him anymore.
Twilight Sparkle: What? I thought the two of them were hanging out all the time.
Rarity: They were! Honestly, it took everything I had to convince him to spend any time with me at all! But between crystal gem crevasses, Power Pony conventions, and a marathon game of O&O, I managed to get some time in.
Twilight Sparkle: It sounds like you made sure he didn't have any time to spend with Gabby at all.
Rarity: What?! Pfft! I most certainly did not!
[beat]
Rarity: Well, I... suppose I may have monopolized him a teeny bit. [sighs] I'd just grown so used to having Spikey-Wikey around, I wasn't prepared for how much I'd miss him when he wasn't.
Twilight Sparkle: Friendships change, but just because Spike made a new friend doesn't mean he stops being yours.
Rarity: I know, but now I have to share him! Which I suppose I'll have to get used to. [gasps] Right after I fix the mess I've made!
Twilight Sparkle: Good talk.
Gabby: [sighs]
[door opens]
[music playing]
Gabby: Rarity? Is all this stuff for Spike again? Wouldn't it be easier to just give it to him? And why are you even here?
Rarity: I am here to apologize. Actually, more to confess. And all of this stuff isn't for Spike. It's the evidence against me!
Gabby: Evidence? For what?
Rarity: For my acts of utter selfishness!
Gabby: I don't understand.
Rarity: These are items I used to lure Spike into spending as much time with me as possible!
Gabby: They are? You did?
Spike: Rarity? What are you doing?
Rarity: Well, obviously I'm apologizing to Gabby so the two of you can renew your friendship, Spike. Now please, even if you can't forgive me, you simply must forgive— [gasps] Spike?! Oh. I actually owe you an apology, too.
Gabby: You apologize a lot.
Rarity: I wish I didn't need to, but the more time you two spent together, the more I missed my time with Spike, and the more I used every means at my disposal to get it back. I am truly sorry.
Spike: You really miss spending time with me?
Rarity: Oh, of course!
Gabby: I have to say, after not hanging out with you, I understand why. You're kinda awesome! And I know what it's like to miss that now, too.
Spike: So, do you think maybe we could start hanging out again?
Gabby: Absolutely.
Spike: I don't suppose you'd like some company on your rounds right now?
Gabby: I sure would!
Rarity: Wonderful! I can't tell you how pleased I am that the two of you have— [laughs] ...reconciled.
[pickaxe clinking]
Rarity: [whispering] I suppose Twilight is right. Friendships do change.
[gem shattering]
[bats squeaking]
Rarity: [whispering] Of course Spike and I will always be friends, and I can get used to sharing him.
Pinkie Pie: [panicked yelping, whispering] Sorry! I just didn't want to drop another one and wake the bats.
Rarity: [whispering] Darling. Catching the gems is what the basket is for.
Spike: [whispering] Wow. You two need to be a lot quieter.
Rarity: Spike! How wonderful to see you!
Spike: Yeah. Gabby and I had a great day, but I'll always still want my Rarity time.
[pickaxe clinking]
[gem shattering]
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhh! So that's how it works!
[wings flapping]
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike: [scream]
[credits]

A Horse Shoe-In

Starlight Glimmer: I think you really spruce up the office, Ms. Philodendron. [gasps] Oh! I'm gonna call you Phyllis! [baby talk] Don't you look good, Phyllis!
[knock on door]
Starlight Glimmer: [baby talk] Come in!
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: [clears throat] I mean, uh, come in!
Spike: Uh, were you just talking to someone?
Starlight Glimmer: No! Why? [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight, I have something very important to discuss with you.
Starlight Glimmer: If this is about leaving early yesterday, I didn't have any students on my schedule, and Trixie was having a magical emergency, which actually turned out to be nothing—
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] It's not anything like that.
Spike: [clears throat, reading] "Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, in light of her impending ascension to the throne of Equestria and in anticipation of her many duties and responsibilities forthwith, does hereby intend to make good on her previous offer to you, Starlight Glimmer, of replacing her as headmare of the School of Friendship!"
Twilight Sparkle: I want you to take over the school when I move to Canterlot.
Starlight Glimmer: I know! It's just so... amazing! I'm a little... Do you think I'm really up for it? Of course you do. I've covered for you every time you've had to run off and save Equestria, but... I mean... Yes. Of course! Thank you! [squeals]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: [straining] You're welcome. And I can't think of anypony who'd be better for the job.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm a little nervous. And excited. I'm mostly just nervous.
Twilight Sparkle: I understand. Of course I'll have a lot of important responsibilities as ruler of Equestria, but I'll always be available to help whenever you need.
Spike: [gags, belches]
[poof!]
Spike: Are you supposed to be at a royal etiquette lesson with Celestia and Luna right now?
Twilight Sparkle: Right! [sighs] Can't underestimate the important responsibility of royal napkin placement.
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Wow. I mean, no biggie. Right, Phyllis? I've totally got this.
[shatter!]
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous laugh]
[theme song]
Trixie: You know I'm nothing but proud that you've been officially offered the position of headmare...
Starlight Glimmer: Thanks...?
Trixie: ...but I can't help wondering if it's gonna cut into our social schedule.
Starlight Glimmer: What do you mean?
Trixie: Take now, for example. Instead of heading to the delightful lunch I had planned, we're striding with determination toward what I can only assume is Twilight's office.
Starlight Glimmer: Obviously our lunch is super important, but so is taking over the school. And the only pony who's really run the School of Friendship is the Princess of Friendship. And I'm worried about doing it all alone, so I want to get as much advice from Twilight as I can while she's still here.
Trixie: But Twilight's never really done anything alone. She always has her friends.
Starlight Glimmer: But that just gave me an idea! Thanks, Trixie! You can give good advice when you don't mean to.
Trixie: Uh, thanks? Are we still doing lunch?
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Getting royal place settings just right is a lot harder than it looks.
Starlight Glimmer: Okay... Uh, I know how busy you are, but I wanted to talk to you about running the school because, honestly, I was a bit worried about taking it over all on my own. But I just realized you never did it alone.
Twilight Sparkle: Having a friend help out is pretty great.
[magic humming]
Starlight Glimmer: Exactly! So, what do you think about me hiring a vice headmare to help run things?
Twilight Sparkle: I trust you to run the school any way you want. And if that means hiring a vice headmare, I think it's a great idea.
Starlight Glimmer: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Like you said, I've always had ponies around to help. And don't worry. You can always call on me to—
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Rarity says you were supposed to be at the boutique five minutes ago for your second fitting for the coronation gown.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. How many fittings are there gonna be?
Spike: A lot?
Twilight Sparkle: Anyway, good luck finding your vice headmare. I know you'll pick the right pony for the job.
[teleportation zap]
Trixie: Wow. I heard the whole thing. And all I can say is I am humbled.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, why?
Trixie: I hadn't ever considered it, but hearing you say it out loud made me realize what a great and powerful vice headmare I'll be! Plus, we get to work and socialize at the same time!
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, well, sure, that would be fun, but I can't just give you the job.
Trixie: Oh, oh, no, of course not. I imagine there's a lengthy "process" to go through before you inevitably hire the "best pony" for the position. Wink.
Starlight Glimmer: Exactly. I'll probably interview several ponies.
Trixie: Of course. "Several". Wink.
Starlight Glimmer: Why do you keep saying "wink"?
Trixie: I'm not saying "wink". Wink.
Starlight Glimmer: [nervous laugh]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm glad you all decided to be a part of the search for the School of Friendship's vice headmare.
Spoiled Rich: Honestly, if you're looking for somepony to fund-raise, I can bring in enough bits to have several buildings named after me.
Starlight Glimmer: Well, that's not the primary responsibility of the vice headmare. But anypony is welcome to apply. I think the selection process I've come up with is pretty special.
Trixie: [whispering] Albeit unnecessary. Wink!
Starlight Glimmer: [clears throat] Since you all have to prove you have what it takes to be vice headmare, I've designed the interview in three stages. Each stage will test a different skill the vice headmare needs. Only those who do well will move through the stages until finally the best candidate rises to the top! So, without further ado, it's time for stage one – substituting for the teachers!
All but Starlight Glimmer: [excited murmuring]
Trixie: Once the students get a sample of my great and powerful instruction, they might not want to go back to the regular faculty.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Ocellus: Wow, that seam is so straight! You really learned how to sew from mending apple sacks on the farm?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Spoiled Rich: Obviously, loyalty is the foundation of friendship and trust. But nothing gets more loyalty than a big stack of bits! This book on business will teach you all how to earn your own. Chapter one – Equity...
[instruments playing]
[students laughing]
[yovidaphone blaring]
[bass guitar sounds]
[students laughing]
[bubbling]
[balloon inflating]
[fan whirring]
[snip!]
[drip!]
[sounds of awe, cheering]
Trixie: In the Pre-Equestia Era, year thirteen twenty-two, Abraxius the Bold did... [muttering] ...ooh, a bunch of boring stuff... [muttering] ...for a really long time. Okay, I know history is important, but I never learned any of it, and look how I turned out.
[students groaning, yawning]
Gallus: [snoring]
[students snoring]
Trixie: [whispering] Wink! [snoring]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, Phyllis. Obviously those three are moving on. But what about the rest? Mm-hmm. I think we're in agreement on this one. [sighs] I know what you're gonna say. But it would be so much fun to have my vice headmare be a friend. She just needs a little more hoof-holding than some of the others, but it could still work out, right?
[door opens]
Trixie: Starlight, I've given this a lot of thought. And even though I still believe naps are a valid use of class time, you'll be the one running the school. So if you say no naps, then no naps! And I know I can be a little stubborn and not the best listener, but I just can't wait for us to tackle this job as a team. Two great and powerful friends taking on the world! And I know you still have to go through all this "interview" stuff – wink! – but I just had to tell you how excited I am!
[door closes]
Starlight Glimmer: See? I told you it could work. [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: All right, remaining vice headmare candidates. Welcome to stage two! All of you are here because you performed well – or well enough – to face your next challenge – parent/teacher conferences! The vice headmare will need to be a master communicator, and I can't think of a better test of that than meeting with our students and their parents or guardians.
Dr. Hooves: I eagerly look forward to sharing my love of science with both progeny and progenitors!
Octavia Melody: Indeed. An orchestra is made up of different parts, and good communication is the key to harmony.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Trixie: A lifetime on stage has taught me that good communication is essential to holding your audience's attention, which is why Trixie is also known as a great and powerful communicator!
Octavia Melody: Life at the School of Friendship is like a song, and although she started out singing her part pianissimo, Ocellus is now soloing fortissimo!
Dad Changeling: That's good, right?
Octavia Melody: [nervous laugh] Indeed.
Dr. Hooves: The science curriculum at this school is somewhat lacking, but Yona has taken to the subject like a yak to smashing! If fostered, I believe she could easily blaze a trail and expand our understanding of science itself!
Yona's Mom and Yona's Dad: Yaks best! Yaks best! Yaks best!
Trixie: Gallus is a fantastic student. He's even taught me a thing or two about napping.
Grampa Gruff: [yawns] Is that why you're putting me to sleep?
Trixie: Um, excuse me?
Grampa Gruff: I don't know why I have to come to these things.
Trixie: Well, most parents or guardians want to be involved in our students' lives. Maybe we should find a different representative from Griffonstone to be Gallus' guardian.
Grampa Gruff: Oh, that'd be great. If you find one, [echoing] let me know!
Sky Beak: I'm so confused. You're saying Silverstream is exuberant?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sky Beak: And enthusiastic?
Big McIntosh: Uh, eeyup.
Sky Beak: But aren't those the same? And are they good? I mean, you could be trying to tell me she's unfocused, but then you might just be explaining that you appreciate her high energy.
Big McIntosh: Eh, nope. Uh, eeyup. Uh... mmmaybe?
Sky Beak: There seems to be a lot of nuance here, and I just want to make sure I understand exactly what you're saying. So what are you saying?
Big McIntosh: Uh...
Grampa Gruff: Gallus doesn't need to know I'm proud of him! And he certainly doesn't need me trekking all the way to Ponyville!
Trixie: Good! Because you're no longer welcome!
Grampa Gruff: Ohhhh! Well, fine with me!
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, what happened?!
Trixie: I'm not sure. But we'll have one less conference to worry about next semester.
[smack!]
Starlight Glimmer: I really appreciate your honesty, Big Mac, and you're right. Parents expect a lot of detailed communication when it comes to their kids. And if you aren't comfortable with that, vice headmare probably isn't the job for you.
Big McIntosh: Yeah, nope.
[door opens]
Trixie: Starlight, I know why you wanted to see me, and you don't have to worry.
Starlight Glimmer: Uh, good.
Trixie: It's thoughtful that you'd want to check in on me after my shocking confrontation with Grampa Gruff. But never fear. I shall recover.
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, that's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You can't get into a shouting match with parents or guardians. For the final stage of the interview process, you'll each have to put together a field trip. And if you really do want the job, I need yours to be exceptional. Because if I had to pick a vice headmare right now, it wouldn't be you.
Trixie: Oh, I see what you're doing! Obviously you're not going to give the job to somepony else, but you want to see my best. Well, message received! Wink.
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] Trixie, I—
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie is about to pull out all the stops! I hope you're ready for the most exceptional field trip to ever grace this school!
[poof!]
Starlight Glimmer: Is it wrong for me to think she might actually pull it off?
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans] Don't answer that.
Gallus: [yawns]
Starlight Glimmer: Not looking forward to the performance?
Gallus: I know Octavia loves music, but a field trip to a classical music performance isn't my idea of an exciting time.
[dubstep cello]
[ponies cheering]
Gallus: Okay! I take it back!
Dr. Hooves: When I heard we'd be arranging field trips, I knew right away I wanted to take you all to my lab. I can think of no better trip than one through the quantum field! I am referring to time travel! I've been working on a temporal transportation device!
Smolder: A chair?
Dr. Hooves: And three... four... five... Congratulations! You are now five seconds into the future! You see, we are all already time travelers! Hmm? Who's next?
[beat]
Smolder: Uhhh, now what?
Dr. Hooves: Oh. I actually hadn't thought that much beyond this.
Smolder: Ugh.
[poof!]
Trixie: [coughs, clears throat] Ponies and other students! Welcome to the greatest and most powerful field trip of your lives!
Yona: Where Yona and friends going?
Trixie: I am thrilled you asked. Because today we're not doing a normal, old, boring field trip where you go somewhere.
Yona: So... not field trip.
Trixie: Au contraire. I could have easily taken you to Froggy Bottom Bogg. But we don't need to leave the comfort of the classroom for our field trip. I can bring the field trip to us!
[teleportation zap]
[crash!]
[students gasp]
[crack!]
[electric sounds]
[flash bees buzzing]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, what did you do?!
Trixie: Well, I found the perfect little patch of bog to teleport into the school. I guess I just didn't consider the possibility that a hive of flash bees might have nested there.
[zap!]
[flash bees buzzing]
[students yelling]
Trixie: [yelping] Who told you bees to nest in my patch of field trip bog?!
[poofing]
[electric sounds]
[students yelling]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie, go with the students! I'll handle this!
Trixie: I was only trying to give them an exceptional field trip experience! Which you have to admit I did.
[flash bees buzzing]
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie: Aah!
Starlight Glimmer: We'll talk about it later!
[magic sounds]
[boom!]
Trixie: Um, Starlight?
[clattering]
Trixie: Hey, there. So, um, they're gone?
Starlight Glimmer: [bitterly] Yes.
Trixie: Nice! Teamwork, am I right?
Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding? I don't know what team you're on, but it isn't mine. This was a disaster. It was dangerous.
Trixie: I think the words you're looking for are "great and powerful".
Starlight Glimmer: It wasn't even acceptable! You went from not taking it seriously to blowing things so out of proportion you put everycreature in danger! And I wanted to work with a friend so much, I ignored the fact that you would never be right for the job!
Trixie: I'm confused. What are you saying?
Starlight Glimmer: I'm saying you'll never be vice headmare!
Trixie: But... But I thought you created the position for me.
Starlight Glimmer: Why would you think that?! I created the position because I need help! But I can't think of any way that you would ever help me!
Trixie: Twilight's friends always helped her.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh-ho. That's because Twilight's friends are competent! They care about what they are doing! And they know how to do it!
Trixie: Well, I guess I won't take up any more of your time, Headmare Starlight.
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? I just thought I'd check in to see how the search for a vice headmare was going.
[magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: A lot better now.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay...
Starlight Glimmer: I really wanted it to be a friend, so I ended up pushing aside some pretty big signs that it wasn't gonna work out.
Twilight Sparkle: Not everypony is right for every job, but everypony has something to contribute. The trick is figuring out what.
Starlight Glimmer: What if you and your friend can't figure it out?
Twilight Sparkle: If you have a job to do, you have to decide what's best and be upfront and honest, even if that means you can't work with a friend on it.
Starlight Glimmer: So, I guess that means talking to them at the beginning instead of stringing them along until you get so frustrated you totally lose it and say a bunch of really awful things?
Twilight Sparkle: Pretty much.
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs]
[knock on door]
Starlight Glimmer: Trixie? I know you're in there.
Trixie: Well, you're wrong!
[clatter!]
Trixie: [coughing]
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry for all those things I said. I just really wanted it to work out, even though I knew it probably wouldn't. I should have said something sooner.
Trixie: Obviously we can't have what we want, because I'm terrible at everything and could never help you with anything!
Starlight Glimmer: You aren't terrible. And you have a lot of great qualities. Maybe not vice headmare qualities, but great and powerful friend qualities.
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Well, you really stand by the ponies you care about. Gallus even said nocreature's ever stuck up for him the way you did with Grampa Gruff. It would have been nice to run the school together, but not everypony is right for every job.
Trixie: I know how you take your responsibilities seriously. And maybe I should've known I wasn't exactly a perfect fit.
Starlight Glimmer: If it makes you feel any better, nopony was.
Trixie: What do you mean?
Starlight Glimmer: Well, Dr. Hooves has decided to go back to his experiments, and Octavia is worried the responsibilities of vice headmare will take too much time away from her music. Maybe getting a vice headmare was a bad idea.
Trixie: Starlight, obviously you'd like some help, and hiring a vice headmare is a great idea.
Starlight Glimmer: But who could it be?
Trixie: Well, you need somepony who's responsible like you and detail-oriented like Twilight. And... smart, obviously. It is a school after all.
Starlight Glimmer: It would be nice if I got along with them, since having it be a friend can't work out.
Trixie: Maybe it can.
[poof!]
Sunburst: ...And I knew as soon as I read Trixie's scroll that it was the exact right thing for me to do.
Starlight Glimmer: But what about being Flurry Heart's Crystaller?
Sunburst: Well, honestly, now that Flurry Heart's a little older, there really isn't much for me to do outside of the occasional tradition or festival. And working at a school is what I always thought I'd do. I mean, if you'll have me.
Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding?! You're hired!
Trixie: I had a feeling this would work out.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, Trixie, thank you so much.
Trixie: Between being insightful when I want to be and giving good advice when I don't mean to, I suppose I can be a pretty good friend.
Starlight Glimmer: More than that, actually. You really did give good advice. And you helped me talk through the problem of finding the right pony for the job. And we know you care about the students.
Trixie: Trixie the Great and Powerful Advice Giver, Problem Talk-Through-er, and Student Care-About-er! Eh, I think I'll go with "friend".
Starlight Glimmer: "Friend" is perfect. But there's a position here at the school you might be right for, too. What would you say to being the School of Friendship's new student counselor?
Trixie: I'd say this office needs a bit of redecorating. Potted plants scream desperation.
[thud]
Starlight Glimmer: Phyllis, no!
[credits]

Daring Doubt

[knock on door]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Oh! I just stopped by to thank you for letting me borrow your Daring Do books. I love them!
Rainbow Dash: Wait 'til you get to Daring Do and the Riddle of the Sphinx!
Fluttershy: This is actually my second time through! I read them all! From Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue to Daring Do and the Fallen Idol!
Rainbow Dash: Fallen Idol? That's not in the series.
Fluttershy: Oh. It just came out last week. Maybe that's why you haven't heard of it?
Rainbow Dash: No way Daring Do's biggest fan – me – would miss a book coming out! Besides, A. K. Yearling always sends me a copy.
Fluttershy: Well, I'm happy to let you borrow mine until yours arrives.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "The true story of the thieving fraud known as Daring Do"?! What?! Why would A. K. Yearling write that about herself?!
Fluttershy: Oh. It looks like she didn't. This book says it's by Groom Q. Q. Martingale.
Rainbow Dash: Who?
Fluttershy: I guess he's a new writer.
Rainbow Dash: A bad one. [reading] "The only thing worse than Daring Do's destruction of temples is her cruelty to the mild-mannered Dr. Caballeron"?!
Fluttershy: It was written from his point of view. I figured it was an artistic choice.
Rainbow Dash: More like a disaster! Listen! [reading] "Daring Do isn't just a fictional character from over-the-top adventure stories. I've met her, and she is a real, live pony!" That's supposed to be a secret! [grunts] We're the only ones who know Daring Do is really A. K. Yearling in disguise. But if other ponies read this book, how long will it take them to figure that out?! We have to go warn her! Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Hm? Oh. Sorry.
[theme song]
Rainbow Dash: A. K. Yearling is signing all her books at the bookstore today. We can warn her about what's going on.
Fluttershy: Don't you think you should read Martingale's book first? Just to hear both sides of the story?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, why? The only true thing in that pack of lies is that Daring Do is real.
Fluttershy: There's also a lot of insight into Dr. Caballeron's life choices. Did you know he's actually a history professor and amateur bird watcher?
Rainbow Dash: Are you serious right now? A random writer trashes our friend and exposes her secret, and you want to talk about birds?!
Fluttershy: [whispers] Also spider cruelty.
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Fluttershy: You have to admit Daring Do wrecks a lot of spider webs in her adventures.
Rainbow Dash: In order to save precious artifacts from the bad guy, who you seem to have forgotten is Dr. Caballeron! Are you sure you read the same series I did?
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Well, at least A. K. Yearling's true fans know Martingale's book is bogus.
Fluttershy: I'm not sure those are all fans.
[slam!]
Pony 1: Why didn't your books say Daring Do was real? This changes everything!
Pony 2: And why do you only write about her good side? Is she bribing you?
Pony 1: On page five-thirty-one, it says that Daring Do kicks puppies!
"Peach Fuzz": She does?!
A. K. Yearling: What?! No! Look, are any of you here for my actual book signing?
[ponies muttering negatively]
Pony 2: Uh-uh. Frankly, I don't even know how you can call it fiction if it's all real. [scoffs] You're as much a fake as Daring Do!
[ponies agreeing]
Rainbow Dash: I... guess we're a little late to warn you about the new book, huh?
A. K. Yearling: [sighs] I always feared that someday everypony would learn Daring Do was real.
Fluttershy: But why? Aren't you proud of your adventures?
A. K. Yearling: Of course, but I'm not in it for the fame. The stories just seemed too good to keep to myself. I wish I knew who this Martingale author was and why he's determined to ruin my character. And me.
Fluttershy: Maybe we can ask him.
Rainbow Dash: No way! He's doing a signing across the street?!
A. K. Yearling: You'd better go without me. I can't risk the chance Martingale might recognize me as Daring Do.
[indistinct chatter]
Fluttershy: Oops. Um, sorry. E-Excuse us.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] That's not Martingale! It's Dr. Caballeron in disguise! Now it all makes sense! Daring Do's archnemesis created a fake author self so he can write books that make him sound like a hero! Who does that?!
Fluttershy: Uh, A. K. Yearling?
Rainbow Dash: This is totally different. [to Dr. Caballeron] Well, well, well! Up to your old tricks again, huh? Just like in Somnambula! Spreading lies to make Daring Do look bad!
Fluttershy: Would you sign our book?
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: I am just a simple author telling it like it is. Who should I make it out to?
Fluttershy: Fluttershy. With two "T"'s.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] We know who you really are! And unless you want us to tell all of them, you'd better answer some questions!
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: I'm afraid that's all we have time for today. [chuckles]
Ponies: Awwww...
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: But please take a free copy of my book on your way out.
Ponies: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: We aren't gonna let you get away with this, Caballeron!
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: Get away with what? I am merely telling my side of the story.
Rainbow Dash: You mean lying!
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: You think everything in A. K. Yearling's books are true? In Daring Do and the Quetzal's Quest, she states that the Fangthorn Flowers are red when in fact they are blue!
Fluttershy: It's true. They are.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] That sounds like more of an editor's mistake.
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: Still, if that is wrong, is it not possible that other, bigger things are, too? Take a look. It's in my book.
Rainbow Dash: But I don't have to take your word for it! C'mon, Fluttershy!
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: [sighs dramatically]
Fluttershy: Is something wrong?
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: It is terrible being misunderstood. It is true in the past I have not been as nice to Daring Do as I should. But I have my reasons!
Fluttershy: Want to talk about what happened?
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: My team and I were only ever interested in researching artifacts and taking them to our museum where...
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: [narrating] ...other ponies could study them. But Daring Do always seemed to get there first with her own plans. I offered to team up with her, but she refused. She had her own ideas of where the treasures belonged.
Fluttershy: Daring Do did have a lot of artifacts on her shelves at home. But didn't you try to sell them to the highest bidder?
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: Only because I had to.
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: [narrating] Since Daring Do kept taking our artifacts, our museum closed. We were desperate for money to keep it open.
Ahuizotl: [roars]
Fluttershy: She does destroy a lot of ancient sites. Not to mention the homes of the animals that live there.
Groom Q. Q. Martingale: And I felt it was my duty to tell the world. Thank you for listening and understanding, Miss...
Fluttershy: Fluttershy. Two "T"'s.
Dr. Caballeron: And I am Dr. Caballeron. "Martingale" is merely a nom de plume to build my brand. You know, my team could use an insightful Pegasus like you, Fluttershy. Have you ever thought of being... an adventurer?
Fluttershy: Who, me?
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: Finally! What took you so long?
Fluttershy: I decided to find out which author is really telling the truth, so I joined Dr. C's Tenochtitlan expedition!
Rainbow Dash: Say whaaaaaaat?!
"Peach Fuzz": So Daring Do doesn't kick puppies?
A. K. Yearling: That was one time! Accidentally!
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] A. K.! You have to help me! Groom Q. Q. Martingale is really Dr. Caballeron, and he has Fluttershy! The book thing was his new plan to ruin Daring Do's reputation, and he's trying to make my friend a criminal! They're off to Tenochtitlan right now!
A. K. Yearling: He must be after the Truth Talisman of Tonatiuh! It requires the wings of a Pegasus to retrieve it!
Rainbow Dash: That's gotta be why Caballeron tricked Fluttershy into joining his gang!
A. K. Yearling: Then it's up to us to stop him!
[cloak flaps]
"Peach Fuzz": Whooooaaaa!
[crunch]
Dr. Caballeron: Watch where you put your hooves, everypony. We do not want to disturb the fragile jungle ecosystem.
Fluttershy: Oh, that's so thoughtful.
Dr. Caballeron: Yes, unlike Daring Do, who slashes plants aside with her cruel machete.
Fluttershy: Thank you.
[crunch!]
Dr. Caballeron: Fool! Don't you know that's poison?!
[beat]
Dr. Caballeron: I... don't want you to get hurt, my friend. [nervous chuckle]
Rogue: But I'm hungry.
Fluttershy: Oh! I can help with that! Here!
Dr. Caballeron: You are... willing to share?
Fluttershy: Of course! That's part of the fun of having an adventure with friends!
[munching and sipping]
[bushes rustle]
[jaguar roars]
[lynx yowls]
[cheetah growls]
Fluttershy, Dr. Caballeron, and henchponies: [gasp]
[white cat yowls]
[screech!]
Dr. Caballeron: Fluttershy! Run! These ferocious beasts want to eat us for dinner!
Fluttershy: That's a common misconception. Have you ever tried just talking to them?
Dr. Caballeron: That's crazy! You are on your own!
Withers: She's a goner.
Biff: I can't watch!
[jungle cats purring]
Fluttershy: We're very sorry for coming into your territory. We're just passing through.
Dr. Caballeron: How did you do that?
Fluttershy: Everycreature likes to be listened to. You just need to take the time to understand them.
Dr. Caballeron: You are more talented than I realized.
Fluttershy: Thanks. I'm having the best time with you all!
Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy must be having the worst time with Caballeron's goons!
Daring Do: We need to catch up to them before they reach the Truth Talisman!
Rainbow Dash: Why? What's so special about it?
Daring Do: It has the power to make the pony holding it tell the truth. But Caballeron only wants it because it's made of solid gold. He'll melt it down and use it to get rich.
Rainbow Dash: So if this Talisman is so important, why didn't you already save it? You said only a Pegasus can get it, right?
Daring Do: Yes, but the temple traps are far too dangerous to face without a map. And maybe even with one.
Rainbow Dash: [gulps]
Biff: Boss, how about we take the shortcut?
Dr. Caballeron: How about you be quiet?!
[beat]
Dr. Caballeron: I-I mean... no, thank you, Biff. Let's just follow the map.
Biff: Aww. I'm supposed to be Dr. C's second-in-command. But he never listens to me.
Fluttershy: Well, keep trying. I believe in you.
Dr. Caballeron: At last! Now we simply have to wait for the sun to reach its highest point, and our path will be revealed.
[fly-ders buzzing]
Fluttershy: Withers. Don't. Move.
[zip!]
[flute sounds]
Withers: [cheers]
Daring Do: There they are! We can catch them before they enter the temple!
[vines snap]
Daring Do: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Daring Do: Get back, Rainbow Dash! It's Ahuizotl!
[vines snap]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Ahuizotl: [laughs evilly] Daring Do, my old nemesis. You may have outsmarted my jungle cats, but you cannot escape me!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] We didn't see any cats! We're just here to rescue Fluttershy!
Ahuizotl: Hmmm... It must be a coincidence that only a Pegasus can retrieve Tonatiuh's treasure, and there are two of you here.
[slam!]
[zip!]
Ahuizotl: [roars]
[grinding]
[magic sounds]
[rumbling]
Dr. Caballeron: Quickly! Before the sun moves and it closes!
[rumbling]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Phew! That was cutting it close.
Daring Do: And without a map, we'll have to guess which way to go.
[rumbling]
[shimmering]
Dr. Caballeron: [overdramatically] Oh, no! I knew the Truth Talisman could not be moved by magic, but I never realized we'd have to fly to retrieve it! Our journey has been for nothing!
Fluttershy: Don't be upset. I can get it.
Dr. Caballeron: Oh, Fluttershy, you are too kind. But I could never ask that of you. It might be dangerous!
Fluttershy: I want to do it! For all of you, my new friends. And to protect a historical treasure!
[rumbling]
Fluttershy: [screaming] Whoa!
Biff: [grunts] Give me a hoof here!
Withers: [grunting]
[cracking]
[thud!]
Fluttershy: [yelping] Aah!
[lava bubbling]
[rumbling]
Withers: We did it!
Rogue: You're safe!
Fluttershy: Thanks, everypony.
Daring Do: Give us the Talisman, Caballeron!
Rainbow Dash: We're not taking no for an answer!
Fluttershy: Wait! You don't understand! My friends are researchers! They only want to study the Talisman and keep it safe in a museum! Right, Dr. C?
Dr. Caballeron: Uhhh... no.
Fluttershy: [gasps] But... But you said—
Daring Do: Now that he's holding Tonatiuh's Talisman, he has to tell the truth!
Rainbow Dash: Admit it, Caballeron! You're only pretending to like Fluttershy because she has the wings you needed to steal the Truth Talisman! Isn't that right?!
Dr. Caballeron: No! I admit that was the original reason, but my henchponies and I have come to value your friendship and kindness.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Didn't see that coming.
[rumbling]
Ahuizotl: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: Or that!
Ahuizotl: More intruders? And you dare to steal Tonatiuh's Talisman?! Guardian-goyles, attack!
[shimmering]
[guardian-goyles growl]
Ahuizotl: [laughs evilly]
[thud!]
[guardian-goyle roars]
[guardian-goyles growling]
Dr. Caballeron: Fluttershy! Can't you ask them to stop like the jungle cats?
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me? Uh, guardian-goyles?
[guardian-goyle growls]
Daring Do: It's no good! They're only stone and magic, not alive! I encountered some like this in Marapore!
Dr. Caballeron: Ah, yes. I seem to recall similar creations in Flankladesh.
Rainbow Dash: So? How do you get rid of them?!
[chomp!]
Daring Do: I know they don't like bright light!
Fluttershy: There's none of that in here.
Daring Do: Not yet! Caballeron! Do you still have the Diamond of Lapis Lux?
Dr. Caballeron: Yes! I-I mean... [straining] Yes! I-I mean—! [growls] How did you know I stole it?!
Daring Do: Lucky guess. Hold it high!
[guardian-goyles growl]
[cracking]
Fluttershy: Wow! You two make a great team!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Daring Do: Feel later! Now it's time to escape!
[thudding]
Biff: If we want to get out of here, we're all gonna have to work together.
Dr. Caballeron: That's... actually a good idea.
Fluttershy: See? Told you he'd listen.
Daring Do: A truce until we escape? How can we trust you?
Dr. Caballeron: I cannot lie. Now, all together!
All: [grunting]
[thud!]
Ahuizotl: [humming] Aah! You again! [growls] If I wanted to play games, I would get out my pinochle deck!
Daring Do: This way!
[whooshing]
Daring Do: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna need the deluxe spa package after this adventure. That doesn't leave this temple!
Rogue: That's it! I'm quitting the henchpony business to finally follow my dreams of becoming an opera star!
[beat]
Rogue: Uh... maybe you should hold this.
[slam!]
Ahuizotl: You cannot hide in there forever! It's a dead end! [laughs evilly, grunting]
Daring Do: Ahuizotl won't give up until he catches us. We have to find another way out!
Ahuizotl: [grunts]
Fluttershy: [gasps] I think our problem is the solution.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, did you forget there's a monster out there that wants to crush us?
Fluttershy: But why? Nopony ever asked Ahuizotl what his side of the story is. He must have a reason for being so upset.
Rainbow Dash: Or maybe he's just the bad guy! Do I need to remind you he's tried to squash Daring Do like a hundred times?!
[slam!]
Dr. Caballeron: And me as well. I was so scared, I had to change my ascot. Aah! Curse this truth teller!
Fluttershy: Understanding begins with listening.
Ahuizotl: [growls] Prepared to meet your doom?
Fluttershy: Um, not really. Just here to ask – why are you chasing us, Mr. Ahuizotl?
Ahuizotl: Well... the thing is, I'm in charge of protecting this jungle. If another artifact goes missing on my watch, I'm going to be in so much trouble with the other guardian creatures.
Fluttershy: Awww. That sounds like a lot of responsibility.
Ahuizotl: [stammers] It is! And those two have taken so many relics from my land, my job is on the line! So... maybe I am a little violent and ferocious. Can you blame me? [blows nose]
Daring Do: The only reason I've been taking the artifacts is because I thought I was protecting them.
Dr. Caballeron: I was stealing them to get rich. But I never realized you had a noble cause. I thought you were just being a monster.
Ahuizotl: [sighs] I get that a lot.
Rainbow Dash: Maybe there is something to this whole listening-to-everypony thing.
Fluttershy: It doesn't always mean they're telling the truth, but everycreature deserves kindness.
Ahuizotl: True. And because you returned the Talisman and took the time to understand me, I will let you all go.
[rumbling]
Ahuizotl: On one condition! You swear to never steal artifacts from the Tenochtitlan Basin again!
Daring Do and Dr. Caballeron: I promise.
Daring Do: I'll even write that in my next book.
Dr. Caballeron: Your next book? You mean you're actually A. K. Yearling?
Daring Do: Don't tell anypony!
Dr. Caballeron: That gives me an idea.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, what's going on? I thought your first co-written novel would bring out a ton of fans.
A. K. Yearling: We've been upstaged by a new author.
Ahuizotl: And so, the noble Ahuizotl bravely toiled day and night to protect the jungle's precious artifacts...
[credits]

Growing Up is Hard to Do

Apple Bloom: I can't believe we're goin' to the Appleloosa County Fair!
Sweetie Belle: Animal shows, carnival rides...
Scootaloo: And all kinds of food on a stick! [slurps]
[thud]
Sweetie Belle: Speaking of food, did you pack snacks for the train?
Scootaloo: For there and back.
Apple Bloom: And our train tickets are all set.
Sweetie Belle: And I've got our whole itinerary planned!
Apple Bloom: Are you sure you're not Twilight's sister?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: [laugh]
Scootaloo: Weeks of planning has all come down to this. All we have to do now is wait for our chaperone to get here.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Mm-hmm!
[pause]
Apple Bloom: So when's Rainbow Dash comin'?
Scootaloo: I thought you were gonna ask Applejack.
Apple Bloom: [to Sweetie Belle] I don't suppose you asked Rarity?
Sweetie Belle: You mean we spent all this time planning a trip, and none of us asked anypony to take us?!
Scootaloo: In our defense, every other part of the trip was planned really well.
[clatter]
[theme song]
Sweetie Belle: We really did think of everything except finding somepony to take us, and the fair is only today!
Rarity: I'm sorry, darlings, but I can't possibly go to Appleloosa. I promised to deliver a new design to Fancy Pants for his Monocle and Top Hat Appreciation Society soiree.
Sweetie Belle: Can't you finish it tomorrow?
[smack!]
Rarity: Well, I could. But you'll learn as you get older how important it is to keep your promises, especially when running a business.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should just go by ourselves?
Rarity: What?! Oh, my dear, no! Appleloosa is far too long a train ride for young foals without accompaniment. You could end up in the wrong place entirely. Why don't you see if Rainbow Dash is free?
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, but I just heard from Spitfire that a whole bunch of storm clouds got loose from the cloud factory, and she needs every Wonderbolt to help bust 'em.
Scootaloo: Aw, come on, Rainbow Dash! They won't miss one pony! And we really want to go to the fair! Apparently we're too young to go alone.
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh. Young ponies like you could get lost and never find your way back. But I still can't go. Being a Wonderbolt isn't just about showing off. It's also a responsibility. You'll understand when you get older. I'm sure you'll find somepony else to take you.
Applejack: I wish I could, sugarcube. But Big Mac's not feelin' well today.
Apple Bloom: Awww. But Big Mac's old enough to take care of himself, and we'd all have so much fun together.
Applejack: Sometimes takin' care of somepony is more important than havin' fun. Speakin' of which, don't you even think about tryin' to go without a grown pony there to take care of you. You could end up in hot water or worse.
Apple Bloom: We know.
Scootaloo: The fair could be over before we find somepony to take us.
Apple Bloom: But then we thought of you, since the fair will be full of all sorts of animals and creatures.
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, but Twilight has an important magical research project, and she's asked for my help.
Sweetie Belle: I guess that means Twilight's busy, too?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm afraid I am. Star Swirl sent me this enchanted flower, and it isn't doing well. If I figure out its magical properties, maybe we can save it.
Scootaloo: So that's a "no" on going with us to the fair?
Apple Bloom: We've already asked Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, and none of them can come.
Sweetie Belle: And everypony made it clear we're too young to go on our own.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, definitely. You could take the wrong train or miss your stop...
Fluttershy: Or get lost in a strange town and end up in a dangerous situation with nopony to help you.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We know!
Twilight Sparkle: I know it's hard, but sometimes you just can't do what you want.
Scootaloo: I'm pretty sure if you wanted to go to the fair, you could.
Twilight Sparkle: Sure, grown-ups can do a lot of things that foals can't. But there's plenty we can't do either. Like right now, I can't find a single reference to this flower!
Fluttershy: None of the birds or insects I've talked to have heard of it either.
Twilight Sparkle: I wonder if there's anything in Shadetail Evergreen's Tome of Flora and Fauna?
Fluttershy: That book's pretty out of date, but it might be worth a try.
Twilight Sparkle: I think there's a copy in the library filed under "Discontinued But Still Potentially Useful Ancient Texts". Unless I put it under "Hokum With a Slight Chance of Practical Applications".
Apple Bloom: I guess this flower is the most interestin' thing we're gonna see today.
Scootaloo: Unless you count watching Twilight struggle to remember how she organizes her books.
Sweetie Belle: I bet every pony in Equestria is in Appleloosa right now.
Apple Bloom: Every pony but us.
Scootaloo: I wish we didn't have to wait to grow up.
[magic sounds]
Apple Bloom: I wish it would happen all at once. Then we'd know everything we need to get to the fair and back with no problem.
[louder magic sounds]
Sweetie Belle: I just wish we were as old as our sisters. Then nopony could tell us what to do, and we'd be able to take care of ourselves.
[even louder magic sounds]
Scootaloo: Hey, Sweetie Belle, why's your face all lit up?
[high-pitched humming]
[zap!]
[whooshing]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [whimpering]
[whooshing stops]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [groan]
Apple Bloom: [gasps]
Sweetie Belle: [gasps]
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[shatter!]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Scootaloo: Do you know what this means?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We can go to the fair! [laugh]
Scootaloo: [laughing]
Apple Bloom: I hope you brought the tickets. We've gotta hurry if we're going to make the train.
Sweetie Belle: I think we'll be fine. Check out how fast we're going! Grown-up legs are strong!
Scootaloo: You're not kidding!
[rattling]
Scootaloo: I don't know how much of this my scooter can take!
[ponies gasp]
Apple Bloom: And nopony yelled at us to slow down even once! Being a grown-up is great!
[pocketwatch ticking]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [panting]
[train whistle blows]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sigh]
Sweetie Belle: We made it!
Apple Bloom: Of course we did! We're grown-up ponies now! We can do anything! And all those worries Twilight and the others had don't apply anymore. Because we're big! And bein' big is all it takes!
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Woke up this morning feeling tired and small
But look at us now - we must be ninety feet tall
Don't have to worry 'bout making mistakes
Because being big is all it takes
[Scootaloo]
A tiny twist of fate brought on this big change
Give me room, gotta zoom, I've got plans to arrange
Can do what I want, be it run, trot, or traipse
'Cause being big is all it takes
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Being big isn't just a size
At bedtime we don't even have to close our eyes
We're in control now, for goodness' sake
'Cause being big is all it takes
[Sweetie Belle]
Leaving behind the little pony you've known
Stepping out, growing up, making moves of my own
You can't tell me no, there's no place I can't go
Mountains, cities, jungles, or lakes
'Cause being big is all it takes
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Being big isn't just a size
We'll tell you our opinion 'cause we're oh, so wise
We're in control now, for goodness' sake
'Cause being big is all it takes
[Scootaloo]
I can eat all the snacks 'cause that's for me to decide
[Apple Bloom]
We know how it all works, even what we ain't tried
[Sweetie Belle]
Facts don't matter now 'cause it's not what we know
We can win any argument with...
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
"Because I say so!"
Can't stop us now, don't try to stand in our way
We're awake, gonna take all we can from today
Once we had to listen, now you'll hear what we say
Everything is always okay
'Cause being big is all it taaaaaakes
All it takes!
[train chugging]
[brakes hiss]
[train chugging]
Scootaloo: I think I ate too many snacks.
Sweetie Belle: Uh, this doesn't look like Appleloosa.
"Loose Tracks": That's because it isn't...
[creaking]
Apple Bloom: You all heard that, right?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, hello? [to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo] Do you think we got on the wrong train?
Scootaloo: I thought trains just took you where you wanted to go.
"Loose Tracks": [laughing]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [scream]
"Loose Tracks": Sorry, I don't mean to laugh. But you three must not travel much. This is Hayseed Junction. The train to Appleloosa isn't for a few hours. Or you could set off on hoof. It's treacherous and confusing! Unfit for the young or timid! But you three are grown-ups. You'll be fine. I'll write down some directions.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should wait for the train.
Scootaloo: And miss the fair?!
Sweetie Belle: We already ended up in the wrong place, which is exactly what we were warned about. And what if we can't follow the directions?
Apple Bloom: Come on. We didn't come all this way for nothin'. Besides, I've been through a swamp as a young pony. As a grown-up, it'll be a snap.
Scootaloo: Grown-ups always know the way!
Sweetie Belle: Because being big is all it takes!
"Loose Tracks": [laughs maniacally, hacks, inhales] Sorry. I've got kind of a throat thing.
[montage music]
[splash]
[bufogren croaks]
Scootaloo: Aah!
[splash]
[vines stretch, recoil]
[bubbling]
[splashing]
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle, are you sure this is the right way?
[wind whistling]
[branches creaking]
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle?
[bushes rustle]
Sweetie Belle: Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: Aah!
[thud]
Scootaloo: Don't do that!
Apple Bloom: Girls?
[snap!]
[thud]
Apple Bloom: Maybe we should head back to the station.
Sweetie Belle: I'm not sure we can. I think we're lost.
Scootaloo: Just like Twilight and the others said!
Spur: Well, where were you when I was feeding and caring for him?!
[bushes rustle]
Biscuit: [screams] Wild swamp ponies!
"Spring Green" and "Savage Honeydew": Hmph!
Sweetie Belle: We're not wild swamp ponies. We're just grown-ups.
Scootaloo: And we are definitely not lost.
Spur: Okay. But that swamp is pretty confusing if you're not from around here. I'm Spur, and this is Biscuit.
[rattling]
Apple Bloom: I'm Apple Bloom. Nice to meet you. But, uh, we're not confused. We're just... explorin' new ways to Appleloosa.
Biscuit: Hey, that's where we're going!
Spur: No, it isn't!
Sweetie Belle: Uh, which is it?
Spur: Biscuit thinks he can just take Bloofy here to the fair.
Biscuit: Why not? It's just up the road. And Bloofy's my pet, too.
Spur: Since when?! Bloofy's never even seen a crowd! Which you'd know if you ever took care of him!
Biscuit: Did you ever think meeting all those ponies might be good for him?
Bloofy: [chittering]
Apple Bloom: He seems okay meetin' us.
Biscuit: See? They're grown-ups, and they get it. Bloofy should totally come to the fair with me, right?
Spur: Y'all don't really think that, do ya?
Sweetie Belle: Um... Hold on. Us grown-ups need to confer. [to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo] What do you girls think?
Scootaloo: If they go to the fair, we can tag along!
Apple Bloom: And Spur probably should share Bloofy. I mean, that's somethin' a grown-up would say, right?
Sweetie Belle: As grown-up ponies, we think you should share Bloofy and let Biscuit take him to the fair.
Biscuit: That is some quality grown-up advice!
Bloofy: [chittering]
Spur: But Bloofy's never been around anything that exciting. What if something goes wrong?
Apple Bloom: We're headed to the fair, too. Since we're such great advice givers, feel free to ask us for more.
[ponies chattering]
[horseshoe clangs]
[splash!]
[ponies laughing]
Sweetie Belle: [laughs] It's everything I thought it'd be!
Bloofy: [squealing]
Passerby Pony: Well, my goodness, what an interesting critter! You should enter him in the animal showcase. You'd be sure to win "Most Interesting Creature"!
Biscuit: Animals showcase? That's exactly what we should do!
Spur: That seems like a bad idea. What do you grown-ups think?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
[thunk!]
[bell rings]
[ponies cheer]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]
Sweetie Belle: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-whoo!
[splat]
Spur: What happened to being able to ask your advice?! You ran off the second we got here!
Scootaloo: [gulps]
Apple Bloom: Where's Biscuit and Bloofy?
Spur: That's why I came to find you.
[fanfare]
[ponies chattering]
Spur: It's one thing to bring Bloofy to the fair, but it's another to stick him in a showcase!
Biscuit: What's the big deal?
Sweetie Belle: You are supposed to be sharing him.
Scootaloo: Yeah, I'm with Biscuit. The showcase looks like fun.
Spur: Sorry if I think taking care of Bloofy is more important than having fun!
Bloofy: [shrieking]
Biscuit: Bloofy's just excited. He probably just wants to get out.
Bloofy: [chitters, sniffs]
Apple Bloom: Are you sure you're not just upset you have to share him? What if you took a little break?
Spur: You mean, like, leave?
Sweetie Belle: If sharing him is too hard, that might be the best thing. Take our word for it. We are grown-ups.
Apple Bloom: I don't know what Spur's so worried about. Bloofy and Biscuit are havin' fun.
Scootaloo: Yeah. What could go wrong?
Bloofy: [chittering]
[ponies cheering]
Bloofy: [squealing]
[whooshing]
Scootaloo: Me and my big grown-up mouth.
[ponies screaming]
[whooshing]
Apple Bloom: Do you think this qualifies as gettin' into a dangerous situation with no grown pony to help us?
[cow moos]
Sweetie Belle: I think we're the grown ponies that need to be helping today!
Scootaloo: Bloofy! Treats, treats, treats! Who wants a treat?
[whooshing continues]
[teleportation zap]
Biscuit: What do we do now?!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Run!
[train whistle blows]
Fluttershy: I hope you're right about the girls coming here.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, once we read Shadetail Evergreen's warning that the flower grants wishes, it wasn't a stretch to think they wished themselves to the fair. It's all they were talking about.
Fluttershy: Or maybe, since we told them they were too young to come, they wished to become grown-ups, then came here and caused some kind of trouble that led to a town-wide panic!
[distant screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. Or that.
Apple Bloom: Twilight! Fluttershy! Thank goodness! I know you're not gonna believe it, but it's me, Apple Bloom!
Scootaloo: And I'm Scootaloo! We kinda got turned into grown-ups!
Sweetie Belle: And we thought we could take the train here, since we were old enough, but we ended up in the wrong place, just like you said we would!
Apple Bloom: And got lost!
Scootaloo: Just like you said we would!
Apple Bloom: Then we met these foals who led us to the fair, and we tried to give them some grown-up-style advice, but it turned their pet into a tornado that might destroy the whole town!
[whooshing]
Fluttershy: Goodness! A Whirling Mungtooth! They are very rare and just the cutest little things when they're not excited.
[crash!]
Fluttershy: This one's excited.
Scootaloo: How do we calm him down?
Fluttershy: When they're young, a Mungtooth forms a tight bond with its caretaker. They're the only ones who can get them to stop spinning.
Biscuit: Spur's the one who really took care of Bloofy. We have to find her!
Twilight Sparkle: You all go look for Spur. Fluttershy and I will do our best to keep everypony here safe.
[teleportation zap]
[ewe bleats]
Spur: That's Bloofy?!
[teleportation zap]
Biscuit: I'm so sorry, Spur. You knew what was best for him all along.
Apple Bloom: And even though we seem like grown-ups, you were way more responsible than us.
Spur: What do you mean, "seem" like grown-ups?
Sweetie Belle: Uh, we don't have time to explain. Right now we have to stop this, and you're the only one who can do it.
Spur: How?
Fluttershy: I'll show you. He mostly just needs to see you.
Spur: Hey there, Bloofy-boo. It's okay.
[whooshing stops]
Bloofy: [squeals, chitters]
Spur: How did you know what to do?
Fluttershy: After years of experience with animals, I've picked up a few things.
Spur: Well, one thing's for sure. Bloofy definitely earned the "Most Interesting Creature" prize.
Biscuit: I'm sorry I didn't listen to you.
Apple Bloom: We all are.
Spur: I guess grown-ups aren't always perfect.
Twilight Sparkle: They sure aren't, but young foals pretending to be grown-ups are even less so.
Spur: What do you mean?
Twilight Sparkle: There's only one petal left. But I think the three of you know what to wish for. And I'm pretty sure Star Swirl won't mind.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: We wish we were foals again.
[magic sounds]
Biscuit: Hold on! You three are actually younger than us?!
Sweetie Belle: The flower turned us into grown-ups, so we figured we could do whatever we wanted. But I guess that's not exactly true.
Apple Bloom: We did everything real grown-ups told us not to and caused all kinds of trouble.
Scootaloo: And things could have been a lot worse. I guess we were pretty selfish.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you learned something. That's what growing up is. Which is why you probably shouldn't skip any of it.
Sweetie Belle: I know we didn't make the best impression, but we sure would like to visit you and Bloofy some day.
Spur: I guess that'd be okay, on one condition. You get a real grown-up to bring you.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Deal!
All: [laughing]
[credits]

The Big Mac Question

Spike: [sighs] I just wanted everything to be perfect. I mean, this was a big deal. But when Discord insists on being involved...
Discord: Regardless of what Spike might say, that little dragon begged me to help. And let me tell you, he can cause plenty of chaos all on his purple lonesome.
Mrs. Cake: I pride myself on baking under pressure, but I just... Oh, dear...
Apple Bloom: You'd think we would be used to stuff like this in Ponyville.
Sweetie Belle: I still have nightmares.
Spike: It seemed simple when it started...
Spike: [gasps] It's beautiful!
Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Nope!
Spike: I'm not gonna eat it!
[poof!]
Discord: Eat what? What is it! I want to see!
Big McIntosh: Nope!
Discord: Why not?!
Spike: Because you have a big mouth.
Discord: Me?! I keep tons of secrets! Like Fluttershy's secret fear of clowns. Or that time I caught Twilight sleep-trotting through town. Oh! And did you know that Octavia went on a date with Bulk Biceps? [chuckles] Talk about an odd couple. I heard that— Oh. All right. Point taken. But we're pals, right? Comrades. Amigos. Come on!
[dreamy music]
Discord: [deep gasp] big mac is going to propose to sugar belle?!? [echoing]
[theme song]
Spike: Of course Big Mac asked me to help with his proposal. I'm the most romantic dragon I know.
Discord: [sighs] It really is a curse having infinite powers. Everypony is always asking you to move a couch or help with a proposal.
Spike: Spill it! Every detail! Don't leave anything out!
Discord: Ugh. Do we have to hear all the details? Is that like a "friend" thing?
Big McIntosh: [sighs] Eeyup.
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: I don't talk much, so I want to show Sugar Belle how committed I am. First...
[wood clattering]
Spike: [gasps] You're making a picnic table that matches the shelf you made Sugar Belle for her shop when you had a crush on her, and you're setting up a romantic meal overlooking Sweet Apple Acres?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Discord: Uh, how did you figure that out?
Spike: If you were a hopeless romantic, you'd know that was the only logical choice.
Big McIntosh: Then...
Spike: You painted apples to leave around Ponyville with little riddles tied to the stem that will lead her up here to meet you?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Discord: Seriously?!
Big McIntosh: Now...
Spike: Yuh—
Discord: I know! You need a giant rhino named Dolores who can knit a romantic sweater for two!
Big McIntosh: Uhhh... nope.
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Spike: Come on. He needs food for the picnic. That was a gimme.
Discord: I do not get this game.
Spike: Okay. You finish your table, I'll pick up whatever you need to eat, and Discord will put all the apples in place.
Discord: I will?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
[poof!]
[goat bleats]
[chicken clucks]
Discord: [reading] "From the Sugarcube Corner, look for your next clue. Red, delicious, sweet like you. Find it; you'll know what to do." [groans] He should stick to bucking apples.
Spike: Sugar Belle's gonna love it!
[thud]
Spike: I'll get the food. How long will it take you to place all the apples?
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Spike: Are you sure you put them in the right spots?
Discord: Those terrible riddles on the apples were very clear on the location. I'm sure that they were placed properly.
[beat]
Discord: I-I-I think. Maybe. Does it matter?
[beat]
Discord: Oh, okay, fine! I'll double-check.
[door opens]
Spike: She didn't see the apple! What are we gonna do?
Discord: Well, we could just give it to her.
Spike: That's not romantic! She needs to discover it!
Discord: Don't be such a drama dragon. I've precipitated liquid cocoa on Equestria and herded long-limbed Leporidae. I can certainly make a pony see an apple. [snaps]
[poof!]
Spike: [sighs]
[oven timer dings]
Spike: Hey, Mrs. Cake. I need to pick up a few things.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. I'm a bit busy at the moment. Oh. Is this sour cream or sweet cream?
Spike: Oh, it's kind of important. Maybe I could take some of these off your hooves?
[smack!]
Mrs. Cake: No! Those are for... something important, too!
Spike: All of them? There's... one, two, three, four—
Mrs. Cake: Twenty-one! And yes, all of them!
Spike: Who needs twenty-one desserts?
Mrs. Cake: I can't tell you! It's a secret! Come by later.
Spike: Later won't work.
Mrs. Cake: Why not?
Spike: I can't tell you. It's a secret.
Mrs. Cake: [muttering]
Spike: [gags] Ugh! Did somepony else bake these?
Mrs. Cake: No. Why?
Spike: No reason.
[poof!]
[pop]
Discord: Shhh.
[poof!]
Sugar Belle: Thank you! These are perfect!
[bits clinking]
[poof!]
Discord: You know, if she's too busy to read the horribly written clues, maybe you should just tell her. [snaps]
[poof!]
[apple chittering]
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
[apples chittering]
Discord: [gruffly] Listen up! Each of you has a job to do! Take a look at your stems!
[apples chittering]
Discord: Tell me about it. But regardless, go to your designated location, deliver your messages, and make me proud! Dismissed!
[apples chittering]
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Discord: [sighs] I just have to say, Big Mac is really lucky to have me as a friend.
Mrs. Cake: Okay... One down, twenty to go. Then I can help you.
Spike: Maybe I can help you. Delivering parchments is my thing. A little dragon breath and fwoosh! We deliver each scroll into each dessert. Then you can help me. Watch!
Mrs. Cake: [whimpers]
Spike: [inhales, blows fire] Ta-da!
[flames roaring]
[ponies screaming]
Talking Apple: Hurry, there's no need to sneak!
Talking Apple 2: The next apple is at the boutique!
[ponies screaming]
[apples chittering]
[doors open]
[pop]
[apple chittering]
[pony yelps]
[doors close]
Talking Apple 3: At Twilight's castle, take a right! The next apple sits in plain sight!
[ponies screaming]
Mrs. Cake: What in the blazes is going on?!
Spike: Discord.
[poof!]
Discord: [slurps] Oh! Are you finally finished? I've been done for a while.
[ponies screaming]
[splat]
Discord: You know, thinking back, I probably could have been clearer which pony to deliver the messages to.
Spike: You think?
[apples chittering]
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Discord: I sent them back to Sweet Apple Acres. Apples are terrible at taking directions. Couldn't even manage to stay in one location. Now, bananas... [chuckles] ...are much better at listening.
Sugar Belle: What's going on?
Spike: Apples running everywhere, and she didn't see the poem to get to the hilltop?!
Discord: Getting her to the hilltop is easy, and not seeing the poems is actually a blessing when you think about it. [snaps]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
Mrs. Cake: Why would you think sending flaming messages into my desserts would work?! You've ruined all of them!
Spike: To be honest, I tasted some, and burning them might have been an improvement.
Mrs. Cake: What?! I never!
Big McIntosh: Spike?
Spike: Aah! Uh, hey there, Big Mac. Heh. I bet you're wondering what—
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: Sugar Belle!
Sugar Belle: Big Mac?
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: Discord!
Discord: Mrs. Cake!
Mrs. Cake: What did I do?!
[beat]
Discord: Nothing. I thought we were just saying each other's names.
Spike: I guess this can't get any worse.
Discord: As the Lord of Chaos, I'd advise against saying things like that.
Cutie Mark Crusaders and Granny Smith: [screaming]
Granny Smith: It's comin'! Save yourselves!
[booming]
[birds chirping]
Giant Apple: sugar belle!!! sugar belle!!!
Apple Bloom: We have a bit of a reputation for gettin' carried away.
Sweetie Belle: Especially when romance is involved. Heh.
Scootaloo: But that wasn't the case with this. We were just helping Sugar Belle with her plan.
Sugar Belle: And the last one should just say "Eeyup!"
Mrs. Cake: [muttering] Three tablespoons... So, you're saying you want to put each one of those inside a dessert?
Sugar Belle: Well, since Big Mac's plan to send me a Hearts and Hooves Day pie with a message inside didn't go so well, I thought it'd be fun to do it right.
Sweetie Belle: Awww! That's so romantic!
Sugar Belle: He's a pony of few words. I love that about him. So, I thought I'd use as many words as possible to propose to him! All he has to say is—
Apple Bloom: [imitates Big McIntosh] Eeyup! [giggles, normally] I can't wait for you to be a part of the family!
Sugar Belle: You three played such a big part in Big Mac and I getting together. I'm glad you could help with this.
Scootaloo: [reading] "I-love-you-Big-Mac-would-you-like-to-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together-I-hope-you-say-eeyup!" And each word has to go into a dessert? That's... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven... Whoa!
Mrs. Cake: Twenty-one! I know!
Sugar Belle: Actually, it's twenty-two. Mrs. Cake was kind enough to help me bake all the apple-flavored treats I made to get Big Mac to visit me in my old shop. That one has the invitation for him to come here.
Mrs. Cake: Oh, it's... it's no bother! I do love a challenge! Did I add the sugar to this one or to that one?
Scootaloo: I think I've seen her add sugar to that bowl six times so far.
Sugar Belle: Now you three go deliver that pie. I have to get some flowers to spruce the place up.
[door opens]
Sugar Belle: [gasps]
[door closes]
Sugar Belle: Uh-oh. Spike and Discord are outside. If they figure out what we're up to, they'll spill the beans! And I want this to be a surprise!
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: I don't think they suspect anything.
Scootaloo: Why would they suspect that we're holding an invitation pie and that Mrs. Cake is baking a twenty-one-dessert proposal?
Apple Bloom: I can't believe I'm gonna have a sister-in-law! [echoing]
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Shhhhhh!
Sweetie Belle: This is our shot to make up for all the trouble we caused when Big Mac first asked Sugar Belle out!
Scootaloo: We can't give away the surprise! You need to play it cool!
Apple Bloom: Right, right. Uh, how's this?
Scootaloo: Better?
Sweetie Belle: Come on! Let's go find your brother!
Big McIntosh: Screwdriver... Nope.
[barn door opens]
Apple Bloom: Big Mac! He ain't here. Let's go.
Scootaloo: Hold on... That looks just like the shelf Big Mac made for Sugar Belle. Weird.
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should wait here for him. He's bound to show up soon.
Apple Bloom: You know, When I'm lookin' for somethin', Granny says it's best to check the least likely place. Come on!
Big McIntosh: Screwdriver!
[door creaks]
Scootaloo: Big Mac!
[loud thud]
[crash!]
[door closes]
[raccoons snoring]
Apple Bloom: Big Mac!
[raccoons squeal]
[door opens]
Sweetie Belle: Big Mac!
[pony screams]
[door closes]
Sweetie Belle: [groans]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Sweetie Belle: [sighs]
Apple Bloom: How is Sugar Belle supposed to propose to Big Mac if we can't even find him?!
Scootaloo: Mrs. Cake isn't finished yet. We still have time.
Apple Bloom: You know, when I'm lookin' for somepony, Granny says it's best to just stay in one place. Let's head back to the farm and wait. Big Mac is sure to show up soon!
[beat]
Apple Bloom: Well, don't just stand there. Come on!
[apples chittering]
[poof!]
Large Apple: Love is in the air! [chitters]
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
[beat]
Big McIntosh: Eeeeeeeeeyup.
[squirrel chitters]
Granny Smith: [snoring]
Scootaloo: Granny!
Granny Smith: Aah! Who goes there?!
Apple Bloom: Granny, have you seen Big Mac?
Granny Smith: Oh. Hey there, li'l dumplin'. I just had the most peculiar dream.
Scootaloo: That's nice, Granny, but we really need to find Big Mac, so—
Granny Smith: It was about Grand Pear. Only it wasn't. We were in outer space on some kinda mission to explore a strange new world.
Sweetie Belle: If we get stuck listening to Granny, we'll never find Big Mac.
Granny Smith: And Mudbriar was there, bein' as logical as ever, but his ears was all pointy-like. And then Discord showed up and... well, you know, he was pretty much the same.
Apple Bloom: Once she gets goin', there's nothin' in Equestria that can stop her.
[booming]
Scootaloo: You sure about that?
[roaring]
Big McIntosh: Spike?
Spike: Aah! Uh, hey there, Big Mac. Heh. I bet you're wondering what—
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: Sugar Belle!
Sugar Belle: Big Mac?
[poof!]
Big McIntosh: Discord!
Discord: Mrs. Cake!
Mrs. Cake: What did I do?!
[beat]
Discord: Nothing. I thought we were just saying each other's names.
Spike: I guess this can't get any worse.
Discord: As the Lord of Chaos, I'd advise against saying things like that.
Cutie Mark Crusaders and Granny Smith: [screaming]
Granny Smith: It's comin'! Save yourselves!
[booming]
[birds chirping]
Giant Apple: sugar belle!!! sugar belle!!!
Big McIntosh: Discord!
Discord: Why does everypony immediately assume that this has something to do with me?
Giant Apple: i love you! you love me! our love will grow like an apple tree! So let me ask – will you marry me?
[splat]
Discord: Okay, but to be fair, the message did get to Sugar Belle.
Discord: This whole story is being twisted to make it seem like it was all my fault. Which it wasn't!
Mrs. Cake: Wait. So you two were orchestrating a proposal? That's what I was doing!
Discord: Who are you proposing to?
Apple Bloom: Discord!
Discord: Me?!
Giant Apple: i love you! i love you! i love you!
Discord: [snaps]
[poof!]
[apples thudding]
Spike: So the messages that were in the desserts...
Mrs. Cake: ...were Sugar Belle's proposal to Big Mac before Spike set them on fire!
Discord: Oh, so I'm not the only one who messes things up, am I, Mr. High-and-Mighty Dragon?
Spike: Hey! Those desserts were ruined way before I ruined them!
Mrs. Cake: They were not! Well, I... may have mixed up a... a few ingredients. It was such a rush.
Discord: You should both be very disappointed in yourselves.
Scootaloo: What about you and your apple monster?!
Discord: Yes, but you all expect that of me.
Apple Bloom: All we wanted to do was make up for messin' things up the last time. Sugar Belle, Big Mac, we're really—
Sweetie Belle: Where'd they go?
[beat]
Discord: Okay, this time, it really wasn't me!
Mrs. Cake: I shouldn't have taken all those desserts at once. It's just, how can you say no to such a sweet idea? Oh! Ha! "Sweet"! [laughs] I made a joke.
Spike: In retrospect, dragon flame and baked goods aren't the best combo.
Apple Bloom: We felt like it was all our fault.
Scootaloo: Except for the apple monster. That was Discord. And Mrs. Cake messing up those recipes. And Spike burning the messed-up recipes. And—
Sweetie Belle: The point is we all felt bad for ruining Big Mac and Sugar Belle's proposals.
Granny Smith: It was all green, and then Grand Pear looked at me all dramatical and says, "Where nopony has gone before!" And whoosh! Away we flew!
Sugar Belle: Today was... interesting.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sugar Belle: You okay?
Big McIntosh: I... I'm sorry, Sugar Belle. I wanted everything to go right today. I wanted our love to be as perfect as my parents' was when they planted these two trees together. Instead, it turned into a mess. Just like when I asked you out. Just like Hearts and Hooves Day. No matter how hard I try, I always seem to mess up when it comes to you.
Sugar Belle: I think you've got things backwards.
Big McIntosh: What do you mean?
Sugar Belle: From everything you told me about your parents, they had to deal with things a lot tougher than some burnt desserts and an apple monster.
Big McIntosh: I.... guess that's true.
Sugar Belle: This apple tree and pear tree are stronger together. They'll survive whatever comes because they don't have to do it alone. They belong together. Like your parents. And like us.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Sugar Belle: Today was a disaster. But today was also the last day we're ever gonna have to do anything apart. From here on out, we'll be together. And we'll make sure everything always works out just right.
Big McIntosh:
Sugar Belle, will you—? Sorry.
Sugar Belle:
Big Mac, will you—? No, I'm sorry.
Big McIntosh: On three?
Sugar Belle: Sure. One...
Big McIntosh: Two...
Big McIntosh and Sugar Belle: Will you marry me? Eeyup! [kiss]
Sugar Belle: We'll have to thank our friends for messing up so bad that they made it all work out perfectly.
[apple chitters]
Discord: Well, we've all made up, and we're here for a do-over. And this time, thanks to me, we've got it right. So, why don't you two... you know?
Spike: Uh, I think they did okay without us.
Apple Bloom: And that's how we were responsible for the perfect proposal! [laughs] Or, should I say, "pear-posal".
Sweetie Belle: If we hadn't messed up so bad...
Scootaloo: ...it wouldn't have worked out the way it did!
Mrs. Cake: It's just like baking. Sometimes, it's the mistakes that help you discover something truly special.
Spike: And when all the planning and grand gestures go wrong, it reminds you the most romantic things are usually the simplest.
Discord: Which is what I knew all along. You're welcome.
[romantic music]
Mayor Mare: It is my sincere pleasure to say, for my second Apple family wedding, that I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!
All: [cheering]
Discord: That's your cue!
Apples: [singing] Happy marriage, happy Apples! Happy marriage...
Spike: Discord!
Discord: Oh, just let me have this one!
Apples: [singing] Happy marriage, happy Apples! Happy marriage, happy Apples!
[credits]

The Ending of the End - Part 1

Queen Chrysalis: Hey there, my unicorn friend. Have you heard?
Unicorn Baker: About Princess Twilight Sparkle's coronation? Who hasn't? I'm on my way there now. So much baking to do and—
Queen Chrysalis: No, no. [whispers] About the Earth ponies.
Unicorn Baker: I know their crops have been underperforming, but, uh...
Queen Chrysalis: That's not it. They're hoarding the food for themselves! I heard the Mayor of Appleloosa say that if unicorns and Pegasi want to eat, they can use their own hooves to dig.
Unicorn Baker: How awful!
Queen Chrysalis: We unicorns have to stick together, right? [sinister laughter]
[transformation zap]
Lord Tirek: Ah, Chrysalis. Another successful field trip, I presume?
Queen Chrysalis: Spreading distrust among the unicorns and Earth ponies is almost too easy. We could take down Twilight and her friends a hundred times, but as long as they have the "love" of Equestria behind them, they'd crawl back to defeat us. Not anymore.
Cozy Glow: No friendship, no magic! It's so obvious when you think about it. I did my part freaking out the Pegasi.
Lord Tirek: And Grogar's long absence has given me time to prepare the next part of our plan. [blows]
[grinding]
Lord Tirek: Grogar's Bell. This artifact can steal any creature's magic. It holds that magic until it is released by this spell. Which means all the power inside is ours for the taking! [kissing]
Cozy Glow: You're drooling on the Bell.
Queen Chrysalis: Let's try the spell before Grogar gets back. I'm sick of waiting for that old goat's master plan.
Lord Tirek: Take my hands.
[beat]
Lord Tirek: So we can all be part of the spell. Unless you'd prefer I take all the magic myself?
Queen Chrysalis: Our pact stands. What we do, we do together. Once we defeat the protectors of Equestria, we can claim this land and rule our kingdoms alone once more.
[magic humming]
[reverberating gong]
[magic humming]
Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow: [laughing evilly]
[theme song]
Grogar: I have returned. Twilight Sparkle's coronation is today, and we are going to ruin it with this artifact. But to succeed, you must work together.
Queen Chrysalis: Oh, way ahead of you, Grogar. [spits]
[rumbling]
[crash!]
[magic zap]
Grogar: The Bell! You had it all this time?! Why didn't you tell me?!
Cozy Glow: We're villains. Duh.
[magic zap]
[reverberating gong]
[magic humming]
Grogar: [pained groaning]
[thud]
Lord Tirek: That was unexpected.
Discord: [snapping fingers]
Cozy Glow: Wait. Discord was Grogar? Like, the whole time? Should we follow him?
Queen Chrysalis: Without magic, he's no threat. Besides, we have plans.
Princess Celestia: Doesn't she look so adorably regal up there?
Princess Luna: Our little Twilight, all grown up. Should we tell her that we've cleared out our royal suites so she and Spike can move in?
Princess Celestia: Oh, maybe wait until after the coronation. Twilight doesn't need anything else to worry about today.
Spike: So, you freakin' out yet?
Twilight Sparkle: About what?
Spike: Oh, I don't know. It's not every day the princesses that have ruled Equestria for hundreds of moons retire and pass all their responsibilities on to your and your friends.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, that. Actually, I'm feeling pretty good. We've all faced so much and come out okay. I know we're up to the challenge of keeping Equestria safe and happy. There's nothing we can't handle together. Which reminds me...
Spike: Royal advisor? What's that?
Twilight Sparkle: A new position I created for you. You've been at my side for every step of this journey. Knowing I had you to count on gave me the strength I needed to grow and succeed. I wouldn't be here without you.
Spike: Thanks, Twilight. You know I'll always be your right-hoof dragon.
Twilight Sparkle: I was hoping you'd say that. Because now that my crown's been fitted, we have some royal errands to run!
[wind whistling]
Rarity: And you're sure this is where Pinkie told us to get the blackberries for her special coronation dessert?
Fluttershy: Maybe they keep their produce in the back?
Fruit Seller: Nope. This is all we got. But I got a special on these taters.
Rarity: [gags]
Fluttershy: Um, no, thank you. We'll keep looking.
Rarity: [gags, coughs] Ooh! Twilight, darling! You're just in time. Only one more pre-coronation stop. We're picking up the final touch for your apres-hors d'oevres gown...
Twilight Sparkle: Is that before or after the royal marshmallow-eating-contest gown?
Rarity: What?! I haven't made one of those! You must tell me when they add these sorts of things!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs] It's okay, Rarity. I was just joking.
Spike: Joking? Day of her coronation? You've come a long way, Twilight.
[door jiggling]
Rarity: Well, that's odd. They look open.
[knock on door]
Lemon Hearts: What do you want?
Rarity: Oh. Well, this being a thread shop, I thought I might buy some?
Lemon Hearts: Put the bits in the mail slot.
Twilight Sparkle: What was that about?
Rarity: You know designers. Don't like being interrupted when they're on a creative roll. With thread this exquisite, can you blame them?
Rainbow Dash: Weather for the coronation is sunny skies! It was weird, though. Not many Pegasi wanted to help me clear the clouds. They were kinda on edge.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Spike: They're not the only ones.
Rarity: It's the first shift in royal power in over a millenium. Of course everypony is a little jumpy. Change does that.
Fluttershy: But I'm sure it's not because they're worried about you.
Rainbow Dash: How could they be? How many times have you saved their flanks by now?
Twilight Sparkle: You're right. I'll just have to let everypony know that even with Celestia and Luna gone, we'll make sure things stay the same.
Applejack: Twilight! There you are! You mind tellin' your friend here that I don't need an official guard wherever I go? Especially if he ain't gonna help carry apples?
Twilight Sparkle: I appreciate you taking such good care of my friends, but we're fine now.
Applejack: It was the strangest thing. He kept callin' me "Earth pony", like I didn't have a name. And watchin' me like he thought I'd steal the silver!
[loud thud]
Pinkie Pie: Do not go in that kitchen!
Rainbow Dash: You look like you were in a sugar war.
Pinkie Pie: For some reason, the bakers are super grouchy with each other. That unicorn chef started throwing dessert at Mrs. Cake! I tried to help, but I got caught in the crossfire! Tasty, tasty crossfire. [slurps]
Twilight Sparkle: You sure this is just pre-coronation nerves?
Discord: [groans] My aching metatarsals! You know, you forget how convenient snap-travel is.
Spike: Wait. Did you just walk here?
Discord: Yes, actually. And I have a confession to make. You see, I might have made the teeeeeniest boo-boo. All very well-intentioned and noble on my part, of course, but—
Applejack: Get to the point, Discord.
Discord: You remember that whole thing with King Sombra? That was slightly my fault. And by "slightly", I mean... I brought him back.
Rarity: You did?! But why?!
Discord: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Which is why I also brought back three other villains who are now on the loose and not really big fans of yours. So... my bad.
Mane Six and Spike: [gasp]
Princess Luna: Let me get this straight. You wanted to boost Twilight's confidence, so you brought back Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek to attack her?!
Discord: Don't forget Sombra.
Princess Celestia: And while you united these three villains, you pretended to be Grogar?!
Fluttershy: Discord, how could you do this to Twilight?! And us?!
Discord: Look what a great job you did defeating Sombra. All the confidence you gained. Remember the cheering? The hoof-bumps?
Twilight Sparkle: Except it was all a lie.
Discord: A well-intentioned lie.
Applejack: For all the time you've spent with us, you really haven't picked up too much in the way of friendship lessons, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: You've been setting up challenges for us the whole time, haven't you? None of our successes were actually real.
Discord: Of course they were! You just had an extremely good-looking safety net.
Spike: And how was that supposed to help again?
Discord: I intended to prepare Twilight for anything by orchestrating an epic attack at her coronation.
Rarity: You beastly beast! Don't you know how much this day means to Twilight?! And me?! I made her dress! Why wait until now for such a horrible plan?!
Discord: You don't take a final exam on your first day of class. Just think – after defeating three baddies, Twilight would have to believe that she's the leader we all know she is!
Princess Celestia: You have made a grave misjudgment, Discord. Do you have anything else you'd like to tell us?!
Discord: Would you like the good news or the bad news?
Princess Luna: That wasn't the bad news?!
Discord: All my chaos magic is... gone. Trapped in Grogar's Bell.
Spike: [sighs] So what's the good news?
Discord: Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow now have all of the real Grogar's magic.
Rainbow Dash: in what world is that good news?!
Discord: Compared to me losing my powers, anything else is good news!
Princess Celestia: Twilight, Luna, we need to make a plan. Maybe it's not too late to stop this disaster from happening!
Twilight Sparkle: I... I need some time to think first.
Discord: Well, there isn't any time! Look what I overheard them saying! [snaps]
[beat]
Discord: Ugh! Just listen to my voice and use your imagination!
Queen Chrysalis: [in Discord's voice] Let the fool go. Without magic, he's no threat. Besides, we have plans.
Cozy Glow: [in Discord's voice] The "Lame Six" are so busy being perfect, they haven't even noticed what we've been up to. Have I mentioned how great revenge is?
Lord Tirek: [in Discord's voice] I hope you got a name picked out for your future kingdom. Because it's time to destroy Equestria!
Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Lord Tirek: [laughing evilly in Discord's voice]
Discord: They're probably on their way to attack Canterlot right now!
Pinkie Pie: Then we'll stop 'em!
Twilight Sparkle: How?! Stopping Sombra by himself was hard enough! And that was with lord-of-chaos training wheels!
Princess Celestia: Twilight, it doesn't matter if Discord set up your successes or not. We believe in you and always have.
Princess Luna: Lean on your strengths to counter your weaknesses.
Twilight Sparkle: My strengths? Right! Spike! Send a letter to Star Swirl! Tell him we need the Pillars to guard the border of Canterlot!
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] If the villains are coming for a fight, we'll have one waiting for them! With Chrysalis on the loose, she'll go after Starlight! Warn Cadance and Shining Armor! They're our final line of defense if we fail!
Twilight Sparkle: The ultimate battle for the fate of Equestria is coming!
Cozy Glow: We're not going anywhere until you two stop arguing! Chrysalis, say something nice about Tirek.
Queen Chrysalis: [groans] He's... red.
Cozy Glow: Tirek?
Lord Tirek: She's... not as annoying as I expected.
Cozy Glow: Good! Now we were talking about Grogar's Bell.
Queen Chrysalis: We should take the magic inside it. You know how powerful Discord was. That much chaos magic in our veins...
Lord Tirek: But taking it all would be madness! It's impossible for any other creature to control!
Cozy Glow: I guess if you need a guinea pig to find out if anypony can use chaos magic, I'll volunteer.
[magic zap]
[reverberating gong]
[magic humming]
Cozy Glow: [bellowing evil laughter] Fools! Now I have more power than all of you! Kneel before my might!
[magic zap]
[rubber chickens squeak]
[magic zaps]
[pineapples snarling]
Cozy Glow: Aah! Take it back! Take it back!
[magic zap]
[reverberating gong]
[magic humming]
Cozy Glow: [panting]
Lord Tirek: Still think chaos magic is a good idea?
Queen Chrysalis: Leave it in the Bell. We've got a kingdom to conquer.
Cozy Glow: So, where should we strike first?
Queen Chrysalis: [laughs] Everywhere.
Twilight Sparkle: We've faced enemies of Equestria before. And we've always succeeded, no matter the odds. That wouldn't be possible without all of you.
Discord: You're welcome!
Spike: Dude, read the room.
Twilight Sparkle: So I ask for your help again today in what is our biggest battle yet. All of Equestria is at stake, and I can't do this alone. But I'm not afraid. Because with friendship as our armor and teamwork as our power, nopony can ever bring us down!
[doors open]
Cozy Glow: Oh, come on!
[thud]
Cozy Glow: Where'd you get that? A daily affirmations calendar? Yeesh.
Twilight Sparkle: Cozy Glow?! You're—!
Cozy Glow: About to wipe the floor with you!
[zap!]
Twilight Sparkle: Aah! [groans]
All except Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Cozy Glow: Wow! It's true! Alicorns really do have more fun!
[zap!]
Star Swirl the Bearded: Spread out and stay ready, friends! Canterlot depends on us!
[booming]
[loud thud]
[zap!]
Lord Tirek: [laughs, grunts]
Rockhoof: [groans]
[teleportation zap]
[zaps]
Lord Tirek: [cackling]
[thud]
[smack!]
[thud]
[magic humming]
Pillars: [groans]
Lord Tirek: [smacks lips] Magic seasoned with age. Delicious.
Rockhoof: No!
[shatter!]
[magic humming]
Rockhoof: [groans]
Lord Tirek: Oh, run along. The big stallions are playing.
Rockhoof: [groans] Somnambula...! Warn... the princesses...!
[loud thud]
[magic humming]
Lord Tirek: Ahhhh. The perfect dessert to a legendary meal.
Starlight Glimmer: Stay with your buddy! No running! Just follow Counselor Trixie!
Queen Chrysalis: Starlight, star bright. Where's the pony I want to fight?!
Starlight Glimmer: I have to go. You got this?
Trixie: Nopony does a great and powerful escape like Trixie.
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Queen Chrysalis: Ah. Just the headmare I want to see.
Starlight Glimmer: You didn't make an appointment! [yells]
[teleportation zap]
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer and Queen Chrysalis: [groan]
[wind howling]
Queen Chrysalis: What is this place?
Starlight Glimmer: Somewhere you can't hurt anypony!
Queen Chrysalis: Wrong. I can hurt you!
[multiple magic/teleportation zaps]
Queen Chrysalis: Argh!
[multiple magic/teleportation zaps]
Queen Chrysalis: [growls] Stay still so I can blast you!
[teleportation zap]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, yeah, real motivating!
[zap!]
Starlight Glimmer: Aah!
[teleportation zap]
Queen Chrysalis: [snarls]
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: Ugh! You'll pay for that!
Starlight Glimmer: Put it on my tab!
[teleportation zap]
[zap!]
[rumbling]
Queen Chrysalis: No!
[crash!]
[teleportation zap]
[boom!]
Starlight Glimmer: Aah! Ugh! [groaning]
Queen Chrysalis: Now I'll have all eternity to take my revenge on you!
[zaps]
Royal Guards: [yelling]
[zap!]
Royal Guards: [groaning]
[splash]
Cozy Glow: [laughing evilly]
Princess Celestia: Stand down, Cozy Glow!
Cozy Glow: Gee, I guess I could. But... I'm having too much fun!
[zap!]
Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna: Aah!
[boom!]
Princess Celestia: Ready, sister?
Twilight Sparkle: Wait! What are you...?
[zap!]
[reverberating gong]
[magic humming]
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna: [scream, pained groans]
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: NO!
Cozy Glow: That's the problem with you magic-types. You're so reliant on all your special power, you forget to use your brains!
Twilight Sparkle: Keep telling yourself that! Now!
[whoosh!]
Cozy Glow: Whoaaaa!
Pinkie Pie: Surprise attack!
[boom!]
Cozy Glow: [coughs]
Fluttershy: Fly, my pretties!
[geese squawking]
Cozy Glow: Aah!
Spike: [breathes fire]
[boom!]
[geese squawking]
Cozy Glow: [grunts]
Spike: [breathes fire]
[geese squawking]
Cozy Glow: Aah! Aah!
[thud]
[clatter]
[boom!]
[wind blowing]
[thud]
[magic hums]
Queen Chrysalis: You think your pathetic shield can stop us? [laughs] The Pillars have been defeated. Your school is abandoned. Face it, Twilight. You've lost!
Twilight Sparkle: You can attack us and we may fall. But Equestria will still stand, united in friendship. And we won't stop until we defeat you, no matter how many ponies you take down!
Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow: [laugh]
Lord Tirek: Didn't you all notice something was wrong in Equestria? We've been busy.
Queen Chrysalis: A whisper here, a rumor there...
Lord Tirek: Destroy some crops, cause some damage...
Cozy Glow: Turn pony against pony...
Queen Chrysalis: Until your whole kingdom is on edge, waiting for just one tiny thing to push them over the brink!
Lord Tirek: There's no backup friends or rainbow magic to save you now!
Cozy Glow: Golly, I think it's time for some redecorating!
[magic humming]
[explosion]
[crumbling]
Queen Chrysalis: You know what's stronger than friendship, Twilight? Fear!
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[shatter!]
Lord Tirek: 'Cause when you have to protect yourself, you don't have time for anypony else.
Cozy Glow: Too bad you never taught that in school.
[magic humming]
[crunch!]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Rarity: [groans]
[zap!]
[boom!]
[rumbling]
Rarity: Go, Twilight! Get help!
Applejack: We'll hold 'em 'til you get back!
Twilight Sparkle: No! I can't leave you here!
Fluttershy: It's our only chance!
Rainbow Dash: You'll come up with something to save the day!
Pinkie Pie: You always do!
Spike: We believe in you!
Discord: Fly, you foal!
[crumbling]
[teleportation zap]
[To be continued...]
[credits]

The Ending of the End - Part 2

[Previously on My Little Pony]
Spike: It's not every day the princesses pass all their responsibilities on to your and your friends.
Princess Luna: You wanted to boost Twilight's confidence, so you brought back Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek to attack her?!
Cozy Glow: Discord was Grogar?
Twilight Sparkle: You've been setting up challenges for us the whole time, haven't you?
Discord: My bad.
Twilight Sparkle: The ultimate battle for the fate of Equestria is coming!
[explosion]
Applejack: We'll hold 'em 'til you get back!
Discord: Fly, you foal!
[teleportation zap]
[theme song]
Cozy Glow: And now for your complete destruction! Won't that be fun?
Queen Chrysalis: Patience, Cozy. Destruction is so... permanent. We need to show the rest of Equestria that we've broken their heroes first. Besides, we should have fun with our guests.
Lord Tirek: No! We should hunt down Twilight Sparkle. As long as she's out there, she's dangerous.
Queen Chrysalis: Is that big, strong minotaur that scared of one little pony? Relax. It's not like her friends are going anywhere.
[fizzle]
[cage creaks]
Queen Chrysalis: The fools brought the remains of my throne to Canterlot to protect themselves. Hah! Those shards block their magic. [to Cozy Glow] Careful. Too close and the shards cancel even our powers. But on this side of the cavern, we're the most powerful beings in Equestria, thanks to Grogar's Bell. Isn't that right, "Grogar"?
[chains clanking]
Lord Tirek: What are you doing?! You saw what happened when you tried to take Discord's chaos magic.
Cozy Glow: Yeah, but there's Alicorn princess magic in there now, too! I could be so much more powerful if I just could have—
Queen Chrysalis: What do you mean you could be?
Cozy Glow: Um, hello? I'm the best one out of all of us! Nobody sees... [continues under]
Lord Tirek: What are you talking about?!
Queen Chrysalis: The best at what?!
Fluttershy: This is really bad.
Applejack: We gotta find Twilight. She's probably already figured out some way to defeat those monsters.
Rainbow Dash: Any idea how we get out of here to do that?
[squish]
Spike: Too sticky. There's no way anypony could get through this.
Discord: I'm so sorry. It made so much sense in my head. Twilight defeats her worst enemies and is filled with confidence. I truly did have the best intentions. I swear I'll make it up to you.
Rainbow Dash: That's gonna need to be a pretty epic make-up.
Lord Tirek: Stay away from the Bell, you pest!
[zap!]
Lord Tirek: None of us can use the Alicorns' magic until we figure out how to handle that fool's ridiculous chaos magic!
Discord: I could always tell you how. It would give you power over all reality. But you'd have to ask nicely and spare my friends.
Spike: No, Discord! This isn't the way to help!
Cozy Glow: Discord, could you pweeeease—?
Queen Chrysalis: Threats are more my speed. Speak!
Lord Tirek: He's lying. He won't tell us.
Discord: I certainly won't tell you after the way you lied to me last time we teamed up, you muscle-bound cretin.
Lord Tirek: This "cretin" could destroy you before you blink, so choose your words carefully.
Discord: You're right. "Cretin" is too polite. How about "pathetic centaur who uses magic to compensate for the fact that deep down he's afraid he'll never be enough to please dear old dad, King Vorak"?
[zap!]
[boing! boing! boing!]
[crash!]
Cozy Glow: [laughs] You missed!
Starlight Glimmer: Did he, though?!
[whirring]
[shing!]
[crash!]
Queen Chrysalis: Get her!
[multiple magic/teleportation zaps]
Starlight Glimmer: [blows raspberry]
[teleportation zap]
Applejack: Get Twilight!
Starlight Glimmer: No way! She's always needed you guys!
[whoosh!]
[zap!]
Starlight Glimmer: Ugh!
Princess Celestia: Find Twilight! We may not have our magic, but we aren't completely helpless! We'll hold them off as long as we can!
Rainbow Dash: That... was a pretty epic make-up.
Discord: Just save Equestria. And keep Fluttershy safe!
[multiple magic/teleportation zaps]
[crash!]
Unicorn 1: Why are you out in the open?! Hide!
Rarity: Where is everypony?
Unicorn 1: The unicorns have been gathering in Celestia's School of Magic ever since the attack. That's where I was headed when I saw you.
Rainbow Dash: What about the Earth ponies and Pegasi?
Unicorn 1: It's everypony for themselves.
Applejack: That ain't right.
Unicorn 1: Well, you can all stand out here and debate. I'm goin' where I'm safe.
Spike: Chrysalis was telling the truth. They really have turned ponies against each other.
Applejack: Everypony's scared, that's all. We just need to get to Ponyville and find Twilight pronto. She'll know how to set things right.
[ponies chattering]
Mayor Mare: Please, stay calm! I know it seems bad, but there's no need to panic!
"Winter Lotus": Give us one good reason not to!
[ponies yelling]
Mayor Mare: [sighs] Because Ponyville's own heroes of Equestria are here to save us!
Applejack: Where'd all these ponies come from?
Granny Smith: Earth ponies been pourin' in lookin' for somewhere safe.
"Winter Lotus": We don't have unicorn magic to protect us or a city in the sky to hide in like those cowardly Pegasi!
Rainbow Dash: Cowardly?!
[clouds rumbling]
"Winter Lotus": They're blocking Cloudsdale! Said they didn't want any "grounded" ponies up in their business!
Rainbow Dash: Listen up, buddy—!
Fluttershy: Don't! That's exactly what Chrysalis and the others want. More fighting. We know you're scared. We're here to help.
S08E14 Unnamed Earth Mare #4: You better fix this!
[ponies yelling]
Applejack: Twilight's probably as worried as everypony else and tryin' to find somewhere safe. That's why I was sure she'd be waitin' for us in Ponyville. Where else could she be?
Spike: [gasps] I know where Twilight is!
[doors open]
Princess Cadance: Oh, thank Celestia you're all alright. She's upstairs. It's... not good.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: You're here?! I was so worried! Where are the princesses?
Pinkie Pie: They put up a crazy fight so we could escape and find you! Mission accomplished! Now let's save Equestria! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: They made a terrible mistake. You all did. From the second I got away, I've been searching every book, scroll, and spell for a way to rescue you and stop Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy, but I haven't found anything. I failed.
Spike: You'll come up with something. We can't save Equestria without you.
Twilight Sparkle: You all escaped without my help. You didn't need me then. So why would anypony need me now?
Rainbow Dash: We know things look bad, but we've been in tough spots before, and we always—
Twilight Sparkle: Look around! Nothing we've ever done has mattered! Sombra? Returned and destroyed the Tree of Harmony! Chrysalis, Tirek, Cozy Glow? Returned and more powerful than ever! The School of Friendship? Shut down! Everypony in Equestria is so blinded by fear, they can't remember what friendship is! Nothing we do makes any difference!
Pinkie Pie: But we're still free and together.
Rainbow Dash: And it's not like things can get any worse.
[windigos neighing]
[wind howling]
Spike: Haven't we learned never to say that by now?
[windigos neighing]
Earth Pony 2: The windigos!
"Winter Lotus": [scoffs] That's just a Hearth's Warming Eve story.
Earth Pony 2: Creatures made of wind that spread cold and misery across the land to punish ponies?! Seems pretty real to me! Let the Pegasi deal with this! There's nothing we can do except hide!
[ponies panicking]
"Cotton Sky": That's enchanted wind! We can't control it! And we can't rely on those snooty unicorns for any help! Build up the cloudbank! We'll try to block it!
Hyper Sonic: What about everypony down below?
"Cotton Sky": They're on their own. We all are.
[windigos neighing]
Unicorn 1: Fortify the shields around the School of Magic! We need to protect ourselves! It's all we can do.
[ponies chattering]
Rainbow Dash: We have to do something!
Twilight Sparkle: I've already done enough.
Applejack: You want the truth, Twilight? Bad things happen. No matter what you do, there's never gonna be a time when everything's perfect. But that don't mean you quit tryin'!
Twilight Sparkle: What if I make things worse?! Ever since Celestia told me I was taking over, I've been gaining confidence. Then I find out it's all a lie. Equestria's been falling apart around us, and I didn't even notice! What kind of princess does that make me? I'm scared.
Fluttershy: I probably know more about being scared than anypony. But thanks to all of you, I've learned I'm always less scared when I'm with my friends.
Rainbow Dash: If we're facing impossible odds, we're facing them together!
Rarity: It's what we always do, darling.
Twilight Sparkle: But we're on our own, and we have no idea what to do!
Pinkie Pie: That's true pretty much every time something terrible is about to happen.
Twilight Sparkle: We don't have the Elements of Harmony anymore. How can you all be so calm about this?
Spike: Because, even if you don't believe you can do this, we do. We believe in you. In us.
Applejack: The truth is, all our lives wouldn't be the same if we hadn't met. We're better off because of our friendship with you. So when you say you haven't made a difference, that's just not true. You've made a big difference to us.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you. Sometimes even the Princess of Friendship needs a reminder that there's more to the Magic of Friendship than rainbow lasers.
Spike: Although that part is pretty cool.
Twilight Sparkle: We still need a plan.
[door opens]
Princess Cadance: That sounds like the pony I used to foal-sit for. Count us in.
Twilight Sparkle: No. You need to stay here and protect Flurry Heart. If we don't... If things don't work out, she's Equestria's last hope. Okay. Three of our worst villains have taken over, powered up by ancient magic. Everypony in Equestria is so scared and divided that the windigos are circling. And it's up to us to fix it all.
Pinkie Pie: What are we gonna do, Twilight?!
Twilight Sparkle: The same thing we do every time, Pinkie. Try to save the world!
Lord Tirek: Every prisoner is safely in their cells. Now we can hunt down the rest of the— Windigos?
Cozy Glow: I'm not hunting anypony d-d-d-down in this weather! Can't we magically get rid of them and w-w-w-warm things up?
Queen Chrysalis: I don't think we should. This could work out quite well for me.
Lord Tirek: You mean us.
Queen Chrysalis: The harsh weather is the final blow to break the ponies' spirits. Once Equestria is a frozen wasteland, we'll use our magic to destroy those windy beasts. Ponies will be so grateful, they'll do whatever I want!
Lord Tirek: The windigos are ancient magic. It would be unwise to leave them unchecked. Best we deal with them now.
Queen Chrysalis: [snarls]
Cozy Glow: We probably should deal with Twilight and her friends before anything else.
Lord Tirek: Thought it was too cold for you to hunt anypony down.
Cozy Glow: We don't need to. They're right there!
Spike: You think they know we're here?
[magic whooshing]
Applejack: I'd say they have an idea.
Twilight Sparkle: That bell has Discord, Celestia, and Luna's magic inside. If they use it against us—
Fluttershy: Discord's magic is so chaotic, he's the only one who can use it.
Queen Chrysalis: You just can't accept that you were beaten before you even realized there was a fight, can you?
Twilight Sparkle: You can't beat us if we never give up! As long as I have my friends by my side, I'll put my faith in friendship—
Cozy Glow: Ugh, can we get on with this please?
[zap!]
[boom!]
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: We need to get that bell and get Discord and the princesses their magic back. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, you're with me.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! I'll grab that bell in ten second—!
Twilight Sparkle: No. We're the distraction. They're gonna get the bell.
[boom!]
Queen Chrysalis: Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Cozy Glow: There!
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [yell]
[magic zaps]
[whoosh!]
Cozy Glow: Whoa!
[teleportation zap]
[neck cracking]
[whoosh!]
Twilight Sparkle: [yells]
Lord Tirek: Aah!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Step right up, evil fillies and gentlevillains! Try your luck!
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: [growls]
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: grunting]
Pinkie Pie: Missed me!
[zap!]
Pinkie Pie: Close, but no cherrychimichanga!
[zap!]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Thanks for playing!
[zap!]
Cozy Glow: Do they have to be so annoying?!
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: Not annoying! Distracting!
[boom!]
[zap!]
Spike: Aah!
[magic surging]
[shatter!]
Spike: [breathes fire]
[zap!]
[boom!]
[magic zaps]
Applejack: [grunts]
[rope snaps]
Cozy Glow: Now, now, professor. We all know you're not the fast one.
[zap!]
Queen Chrysalis: Enough! Or the dragon's wings get plucked!
Spike: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Please! Don't hurt him!
Spike: Don't worry about me! Just save—! [groans]
Lord Tirek: Turns out that the Magic of Friendship is your biggest weakness. A fitting end to your pathetic story.
[magic whirring]
Rainbow Dash: No matter what, we face it together!
[windigos howl]
[zap!]
[boom!]
[magic humming]
Spike: What happened? Can I open my eyes?
Applejack: Ya sure can! Way to go, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: It's not me!
[marching sounds]
[whooshing]
[transformation zaps]
Lord Tirek: Don't let them escape!
Cozy Glow: Which ones?!
[zap!]
[stomps]
[whooshing]
Cozy Glow: Whoa!
[magic zaps]
Thorax: The changelings won't fool them forever. And I don't know how long the unicorns' shield will hold.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. How are you all here?
Gallus: That's kinda our fault.
Smolder: You know those long lectures about friendship you gave at school?
[windigos howling]
[ponies panicking]
Sandbar: We all know the story of Hearth's Warming Eve! We can defeat the windigos together!
Berryshine: You really think if we all sing a couple songs, everything will be fine?
Sandbar: It's not just singing that saved the founders of Equestria! It's what it represented!
Rasberry[sic] Dazzle: Earth ponies, unicorns, and Pegasi becoming friends! We learned at Twilight's school that friendship is the most powerful magic there is!
Hyper Sonic: Focusing on our differences keeps us divided! Villains and creatures like the windigos use that division against us!
Yona: Yaks strong. Ponies strong. But yaks and ponies stronger together! Yaks must be loyal to pony friends!
Smolder: I know helping other creatures by being kind and generous sounds lame. But I've seen how powerful it can be!
Gallus: Playing together! Singing together! Even laughing together! That's what real heroes looks like!
Silverstream: Were we really happy by ourselves at the bottom of the ocean? Be honest! It's the ponies that showed us a better way!
Ocellus: They've taught us how powerful love and the Magic of Friendship truly is! We can't let them stand alone! We're their friends! They need us!
Applejack: How 'bout that? It's just like you said the day we opened that school.
Spike: The more creatures who know about friendship, the safer we'll be.
Pinkie Pie: We told you you had it all figured out!
[thud!]
[thud!]
[cracking]
[magic zaps]
[zap!]
Twilight Sparkle: ENOUGH! Because of you, I almost lost my way! But everycreature here has reminded me of the true power of friendship! There will always be darkness in the world, but there will also always be those who find the light! The Pillars knew this! That's why they created the Elements of Harmony! The Elements showed me and my friends how strong our friendship could be! Together we worked to bring harmony to Equestria! But there will always be more to do! Which is why we teach others about the Magic of Friendship! Others who will continue our mission after we are gone! Now I truly understand! The Elements were just symbols! The real magic has always been right here! And the more who understand how powerful friendship is, the stronger we will all be! Together!
[magic surging]
[boom!]
Cozy Glow: This is bad, isn't it?
[BOOM!]
[magic humming]
[clang!]
Cozy Glow: [groans]
Queen Chrysalis: You think friendship will save you?! We will always return! Nothing will ever stop—!
[splat!]
[rain falling]
Spike: [slurps] Chocolate rain?
[teleportation zaps]
Discord: Don't look at me!
[electrical discharge]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! You took Discord's magic from the bell?! How do you feel?
Pinkie Pie: Hmmm... Tingly. Itchy. Also like...
[slam!]
Pinkie Pie: i could transform the cosmos so everything is made of icing!
Discord: Perhaps maybe I should...
[reverberating gong]
Pinkie Pie: [dizzily] Waiter! There's some chaos in my soup!
[reverberating gong]
Discord: [snaps]
[pineapple snarls]
[reverberating gong]
Princess Celestia: There isn't a punishment worthy of all you've done!
Discord: [whispering] You know what I would do if I were... [indistinct]
Princess Luna: Oh. That does seem fitting.
Discord: May I help? Please?
[zap!]
[boom!]
[cracking]
Queen Chrysalis: [snarls]
[thud!]
Discord: Together forever. I can't think of anything that they would want less!
[ponies cheering]
Princess Celestia: When I sent you to Ponyville, I had high hopes. When you became Princess of Friendship, I knew I made the right choice. But nothing could prepare me for how proud I am right now. Equestria is definitely in the right hooves. You are ready.
Twilight Sparkle: You know what? I think I am.
Applejack: Thank goodness. First question, your Highness. What do we do with all these creatures?
Pinkie Pie: We're gonna need a lot more chairs for the coronation!
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, as ruler of Equestria, I'd like to postpone the coronation for a while. At least until the castle's rebuilt. Besides, there's something we need to do first.
Rarity: Post-apocalyptic donuts. Interesting choice.
Twilight Sparkle: I know. But there's gonna be plenty of time for all the challenges and struggles and adventures to come. For now, I just want to spend a quiet moment with the six best friends I've ever had.
Applejack: Well, mostly quiet.
Pinkie Pie: [eating noisily] Mmmm!
Fluttershy: It's like the end of an era.
Rainbow Dash: Or the beginning of an even more awesome era!
Twilight Sparkle: All I know is whatever comes next is going to be perfect.
Spike: How do you know that?
Twilight Sparkle: With you guys by my side, how could it not?
Mane Six and Spike: [laugh]
[credits]

The Last Problem

[ponies and creatures chattering]
[camera clicks]
[door opens]
Future Spike: I got here as soon as I could, but friendship ambassador is a full time job these days. Making peace between Abyssinians and the Diamond Dogs has not been easy.
Future Twilight Sparkle: That's why I picked you for the job. But I'm glad you could come.
Future Spike: So what's the emergency?
Future Twilight Sparkle: Ever since I took over Celestia's School, my focus has been on teaching magic. But now it seems my top student has missed the most important lesson of all.
Future Spike: What do you mean?
Future Twilight Sparkle: Let's just say it'll be good to have my royal advisor and friendship ambassador by my side.
Future Gallus: Your Majesty, she's here.
Future Twilight Sparkle: Send her in, Gallus.
[door opens]
Luster Dawn: Your Majesty.
Future Twilight Sparkle: Luster, I may be ruler of Equestria, but I'm still just your teacher.
Luster Dawn: And you've been wonderful. I've enjoyed every moment at the School of Magic. But I'm just not sure it's the right place for me.
Future Twilight Sparkle: I see.
Luster Dawn: And it's not the work. I could spend weeks in the library doing research. It's just that there's a lot of focus on making friends.
Future Spike: If that's your problem, you've come to the right place.
Luster Dawn: But that's just it. I don't want to make friends.
Future Spike: What?! [clears throat]
Future Twilight Sparkle: So you'd rather leave the School of Magic than make friends?
Luster Dawn: I was hoping to set up an independent course of study. I want to accomplish as much as you have someday.
Future Spike: It'll be hard to do that without friends.
Luster Dawn: I'm not so sure. Friendship looks like more of a distraction than anything else and ultimately a waste of time.
Future Spike: What?!
Luster Dawn: I know you and your friends accomplished a lot together, but that was so long ago, and as far as I can see, you rule by yourself now.
Future Spike: Uh, hello? Royal advisor right here.
Luster Dawn: And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it's better. Plus, if friendships ultimately fade, why even make them in the first place?
Future Twilight Sparkle: You know what, Luster Dawn? You're right.
Future Spike: WHAT?!
[theme song]
Future Spike: Friendship is more trouble than it's worth?! [to Twilight] This is your top student?
Future Twilight Sparkle: Friendships take work, and there's no guarantee they'll last. They can be complicated. They can be messy. And they never go the way you plan. Friendship is a hard thing to navigate. I remember the first time I realized it might not last forever.
Twilight Sparkle: [panting, yelping]
Spike: Twilight? Uh, I'm pretty sure that's everything.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm just doing a final check, Spike.
Spike: But we did a final check. Of every room. Twice.
Twilight Sparkle: Ah-ha! See? An issue of Power Ponies. Now, aren't you glad we triple-checked?
Spike: Thanks, but I already read this one. I don't need to take it to Canterlot.
Twilight Sparkle: No-no-no! You love Power Ponies. We're taking it.
Spike: Really, Twilight, we don't have to bring the comic. I'm not even sure how much longer I'll collect them. A lot is changing, and I am getting older.
Twilight Sparkle: Just because things change doesn't mean you leave everything you love behind! [sighs]
Spike: You're not still worried about ruling Equestria, are you?
Twilight Sparkle: No. I know it took some time, but I've never been more ready for anything in my life. Just because I'm ready to sit on the throne in Canterlot, doesn't mean I'm ready to leave Ponyville. When we were all fighting to save Equestria from Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow, I was too busy to think about it. But now it's all happening at once.
Spike: What is?
Twilight Sparkle: The coronation. Moving. Leaving our friends.
Spike: I thought we'd all be ruling Equestria together.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course we will, but it won't be the same. They all have lives here. We're moving away and they're not, and I can't help but feel like we're leaving them behind. What if we all just drift apart?
Spike: I guess I hadn't thought about it like that. Maybe you should talk to them. I bet they're feeling the same way.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Spike. Thanks. Sometimes talking to a good friend is all it takes.
[crates closing]
[stamping]
Twilight Sparkle: So, you're not worried about how things might change with me living in Canterlot?
Applejack: Of course not. Change is natural, like the seasons. That's just life on the farm.
Twilight Sparkle: I guess so.
Applejack: Anyhoo, I really need to get all these boxes packed and sorted. There's a lot more work now that the folks beyond Equestria are comin' to the coronation, too.
Pinkie Pie: Worried? Pfft! No way! After everything we've been through? No way. Unless you're talking about the coronation, because then yes. Obviously the cakes are handled, but there's the whole rest of the party to stay on top of. [whispering] And honestly, I'm not convinced Gummy really took care of the fireworks.
[sparkler sizzling]
Twilight Sparkle: But what about after the coronation? Don't you think things are gonna be different?
Pinkie Pie: Well, since I'll be in charge of all the Canterlot galas from now on, I'll have to go there a lot more. So I guess that's different, but I don't think I mind.
Twilight Sparkle: No. Of course not.
[birds chirping]
[doves cooing]
Fluttershy: Wonderful work, everyone! We couldn't be more ready. Josephine, if you and the rest of the doves leave now, we should all arrive in Canterlot at the same time.
[doves cooing]
Fluttershy: Eloise and Hubert, you should go, too. I know it's a long way, but don't worry. I'll bring plenty of snacks to restore your energy before we perform.
[swans honking]
Fluttershy: Everyone else gets to ride since the trip's too much for your little wings. We need everyone in tip-top shape for the coronation. I'm glad we got the chance for one last rehearsal. Everyone's so excited. But I can't imagine anypony's more excited than you. Moving to Canterlot. Being crowned. I can't think of a single bad thing about any of it!
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laugh] Yeah. Me, neither.
Rainbow Dash: In three, two, one, and...
[whooshing]
[smack!]
[zoom!]
[soft thud]
Spitfire: Look, Rainbow Dash. I know this is important to you, and we all want the routine to be special, but are you sure it needs to be this complicated?
Rainbow Dash: Of course! And I know we can pull it off! Sorry, Twilight. I don't have time to talk. We've got a lot more work to do before the coronation.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Rarity: Darling, change is an integral part of fashion. I myself am considering opening boutiques for non-ponies. Things must evolve, or they become stale. For example... I was just struck with a sudden inspiration to change my design for your gown by including the webs of these star spiders. They glow for a short while after they're spun. They won't have much time to weave the sash, but the effect will be dazzling. You see, darling? Change can be fabulous if you embrace it!
[doors open]
Spike: Starlight is supposed to come over soon. There's a little something we wanted to give you before we leave. You know what? I think you're right, Twilight. I should take my comics to Canterlot. We can't leave the Power Ponies behind.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think the Power Ponies care, Spike. Just like all of our friends.
Applejack: All right, Twilight. Are you ready? We all wanted to see you off, but there's still a lot to do.
Spike: Aren't you coming on the train?
Applejack: I gotta go with Big Mac so we can go over our packin' list or we won't know who gets what deliveries.
Rainbow Dash: And I'm gonna meet the Wonderbolts so we can go over the routine one last time.
Pinkie Pie: I'm going with Gummy. He said he knows when the fireworks display should start, but does anypony really believe that?!
Fluttershy: And I still need to pick up food for the swans and doves who flew ahead to Canterlot. If I don't get them fed, they'll be too pooped to perform.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'll be living in Canterlot alone. Might as well take the train alone, too. Bye, I guess.
Rarity: Oh, you won't be traveling alone, darling. I'll have just enough time on the train to weave the star spider sash for your gown. But we should leave now. There's no time to dawdle if you want the coronation to be perfect.
Twilight Sparkle: That's the problem! You're all so worried about making my coronation perfect, but I'm leaving Ponyville and none of you even care!
Rest of Mane Six: [gasp]
Luster Dawn: Exactly. You moved away, your friends didn't care, and that was that.
Future Twilight Sparkle: Actually, not exactly.
Applejack: Of course we care that you're movin', Twilight.
Fluttershy: I can't believe you'd think we don't.
Pinkie Pie: What could possibly make you think that?
Twilight Sparkle: I tried to talk to you all about how I was feeling, but you seemed more worried about what you had to do for the coronation.
Spike: It's true. I was there.
Rarity: I suppose it gave us something else to focus on.
Applejack: I knew you were worried about everything changin'. I guess I thought if I made it seem like everything was okay, it would be.
Fluttershy: I was just trying to make you feel better. That way I wouldn't feel so terrible.
Twilight Sparkle: Before I moved to Ponyville, I didn't really know what friendship was. You've all taught me so much. I can't believe it all might be ending. But when I imagine the future, all I can think about is that we won't be together! I'm literally moving away from you, and it's terrifying!
Fluttershy: I'm scared, too.
Pinkie Pie: Me, too.
Rarity: Rattled to the core.
Applejack: Eeyup.
Rainbow Dash: I wouldn't say scared.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Buuuut just because I won't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it.
Pinkie Pie: I'm going to miss you so much!
Rarity: I just can't stop thinking about how much things are going to change!
Rainbow Dash: W... What if we don't see each other?
Fluttershy: What if we don't talk as much?
Applejack: What if we don't stay friends?!
Rest of Mane Six: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: I know it's weird, but knowing you're all are as upset as I am actually makes me less worried.
Spike: That's nice, but you should be more worried about missing the train to Canterlot!
[doors open]
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry, I'm so late. I actually thought I'd missed you—
Spike: There's no time!
[smack!]
[thud]
[train whistle blows]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! We missed it! But maybe...
[teleportation zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. We're on the train. Everything should be fine, right?
[beat]
Rarity: I'd worked out exactly how much time I needed to weave my star spider sash, and now I'm behind!
Applejack: I hope Big Mac can figure out who gets what deliveries on his own.
Savoir Fare: I assume these contain the finest sparkling apple juice?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup!
Baker Pony: Ah, the Sweet Apple Acres applesauce for my coronation parfait! This is, uh, the applesauce?
Big McIntosh: Uhhh... eeyup?
Fluttershy: [sighs] I don't have the snacks the doves and swans will need to perform after their long flight. I'd better find the food car.
[star spiders screech]
[hummingbirds tweet]
Rainbow Dash: And I need to meet the Wonderbolts!
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: Where's the coronation team?
Janitor Pony: Well, they waited, but when you didn't show, they thought you must've meant to meet outside of Canterlot.
Rainbow Dash: [growls]
Pinkie Pie: The only thing I'm worried about is Gummy handling the fireworks display. But I'm sure it's fine. [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it could always be worse.
[brakes screech]
[sheep baaing]
[doors open]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Princess Luna: Goodness, Twilight. Are you all right?
Twilight Sparkle: My friends and I had a few hiccups on the way. But everything's fine now.
[sheep baaing]
Princess Celestia: We really are both just so proud of you. If you need a moment, that's all right. It is your coronation.
[trumpet fanfare]
Princess Luna: Although it would be nice to get started. Are you ready?
Rarity: NO! She can't possibly be crowned without wearing her coronation gown!
Princess Celestia: Very well. [to audience] Citizens of Equestria and beyond!
[crowd cheering]
[yaks stomping]
[dragons breathing fire]
Princess Celestia: My sister and I have ruled this land for quite some time, but even we know that change eventually comes to us all. And though we know it can be unsettling, it's as natural as the rising and setting of the sun and the moon. Both of which my sister and I feel confident leaving in the hooves of the pony who will come after us.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
Rarity: You look amazing. Ooh! I almost forgot!
Princess Celestia: And so without further ado, I give you the new ruler of Equestria - Princess Twilight Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[thud]
Princess Celestia: [gasps]
[crowd gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry.
[magic surges]
[crowd ooh's]
Princess Luna: Um, Twilight?
[birds chirp]
[star spiders screech]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. I know these aren't the snacks I promised, but it's all I could find.
[swans honk]
Spitfire: Well, Dash or no Dash, Twilight's about to get that crown. Wonderbolts, roll out!
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: No! Wait!
[zoom!]
[fireworks explode]
[swans honk]
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[crowd gasps]
Applejack: To Twilight!
[splat]
[crowd murmuring]
Princess Luna: Hmm. Close enough.
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers]
Luster Dawn: Okay, I get it now. Your coronation was such a disaster that you and your friends never really recovered, and that's why you all drifted apart.
Future Spike: Well, you're half right.
Luster Dawn: So the coronation wasn't a disaster and your friendships just faded away over time?
Future Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly.
[door opens]
Future Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Sorry I'm late. But it is so hard to find a sitter with a sense of humor for Li'l Cheese.
[Boneless 6 squeaking]
Future Rarity: Honestly, I would have been here sooner, but you would not believe how busy Yakyakistan is these days.
Future Rainbow Dash: Maybe we could get to places on time if you let me do some of the chores instead of always doing everything yourself.
Future Applejack: Maybe I would if you did them the right way. Oh. Sorry. We're not the last ones, are we?
Future Fluttershy: Discord's headed to an O&O convention or he'd be joining us.
Luster Dawn: I just assumed that since you all aren't together all the time now—
Future Twilight Sparkle: That we aren't friends?
Future Mane Six and Spike: [laugh]
Future Twilight Sparkle: That is not the point of my story. It's true my coronation was a disaster.
Pinkie Pie: [gulps] Well, at least the coronation is over.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: [snickers]
Mane Six: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: That was something.
Starlight Glimmer: I was just about to say the same thing. I know maybe it wasn't the coronation you planned, but it's good to see all of you laughing.
Spike: We wanted to give this to you before you left Ponyville, but things got a little hectic.
Starlight Glimmer: Since you're moving away, we thought if you missed any of us or Ponyville, this might help.
Twilight Sparkle: Awww.
Pinkie Pie: It's a book of memories.
Applejack: And we all chipped in some.
Fluttershy: No matter how much things change, you'll always have this to look back on.
Twilight Sparkle: I love it. Thank you so much. But I don't want to only look back. Obviously the coronation wasn't perfect, but that doesn't matter. It's our relationships that really count, and we have to maintain them.
Rarity: But now that we'll be living in different places, I'm not exactly sure how.
Twilight Sparkle: I am. I suggest we meet once a moon. In fact, my first royal decree as ruler of Equestria is to establish this Council of Friendship!
Mane Six, Starlight Glimmer, and Spike: [cheer]
Princess Celestia: And what a wonderful decree it is!
Princess Luna: We always knew that whatever adversity you faced, you and your friends would find your way through it together.
Princess Celestia: We know Equestria is in the perfect hooves with you and your friends looking out for it. And while we'll always be here if you need us, it's time for us to be on our way.
Twilight Sparkle: You're leaving?
Princess Luna: We hope you'll come and visit us in Silver Shoals.
Princess Celestia: But now it's time for you to rule on your own. You're all more than capable.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you. For everything. Mmmm! [chuckling]
All: [laughing]
Luster Dawn: So, even though everything changed and you moved away from your friends, you didn't grow apart? And this is the Council of Friendship? That's what you're all doing here?
Future Rainbow Dash: Duh! This time every moon.
Future Applejack: [chuckles] What she means is this is how we've been rulin' together.
Future Rarity: And how we've continued to face every problem and threat to Equestria over the years.
Future Pinkie Pie: But mostly, it's how we keep in touch. No matter how busy life gets.
Future Twilight Sparkle: Sometimes friendships can be hard, and it takes work to maintain them. But without friends, things can be a lot harder.
Luster Dawn: I never thought about friendship being something to work at, and I don't mind work. I guess if they don't have to fade away, maybe making friends isn't the waste of time I thought. But I've been so focused on my studies, I wouldn't know where to start.
Future Twilight Sparkle: That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.
[Future Twilight Sparkle]
When I started out, I was unsure
I thought I knew all that I needed, didn't know what to expect
But when my walls came down, I saw the truth
All along something was missing
And I think you'll see it, too
This is where the magic happens
This is where the magic lives
Our friendships weave together stronger
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
And the greatest spell you'll know
Is how the Magic of Friendship grows
[Future Pinkie Pie]
And no matter how much time goes by
The party will still be here with some fun new games to try
[Future Rainbow Dash]
Big adventure's waiting obviously
Long as we're still here together
We'll be flying happily
[All]
This is where the magic happens (where the magic happens)
This is where the magic lives (where the magic lives)
Our friendships weave together stronger
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
And the greatest spell there is
What the Magic of Friendship gives
[Future Applejack]
And it's somethin' true to pass on down
To generations yet to come
[Future Rarity]
And we'll never stop believing in
The generosity of the friendships we've won
[Future Fluttershy]
And because the love that I feel
For every single living creature is something that is real
Friendship happens so naturally
[Future Twilight Sparkle]
Oh, and how I used to wonder
[Choir]
(Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh...)
[Future Twilight Sparkle]
What friendship could be!
[All]
This is where the magic happens (where the magic happens)
This is where the magic lives (where the magic lives)
Our friendships weave together stronger
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
And the greatest spell you'll know (you'll know)
Is how the Magic of Friendship grows
[Future Twilight Sparkle]
How the Magic of Friendship grows
["My Little Pony" theme melody]
THE END
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls

[train chugging]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! Your very first princess summit. You must be over the moon, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I am excited. But, to be honest, I'm a little nervous, too.
Pinkie Pie: You're 'nervicited'! It's like you wanna jump up and down and yell "YAY ME!!" But you also wanna curl up in a teeny-tiny ball and hide at the same time! We've all been there!
Fluttershy: I'm there almost every day.
Applejack: You've got no reason to fret, Twi. Everything's gonna be just–
Rarity: TWILIGHT! Oh, sorry, darling, but I just realized you're not wearing your crown. You haven't forgotten it back in Ponyville, have you?
Twilight Sparkle: It's in my bag. Just feel a little self-conscious about wearing it. Haven't really gotten accustomed to these yet, either.
Rarity: You are a princess now, Twilight. Embrace it! I'm telling you, if I had a crown like that, I would never take it off. Why, I'd sleep in the thing.
[horn fanfare]
Flash Sentry: Her highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle!
Princess Cadance: [laughs] Twilight! I haven't seen you since the coronation!
Princess Celestia: We have so much to discuss. But it can wait until tomorrow. You all look tired from your journey. Now, off to bed, all of you.
[excited conversation]
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Spike: What's wrong, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, Spike. I'm just... worried, I guess. Princess Cadance was given the Crystal Empire to rule over. What if, now that I'm a princess, Celestia expects me to lead a kingdom of my own?
Spike: That would be awesome!
Twilight Sparkle: No, it would not! Just because I have this crown and these wings, it doesn't mean I'll be a good leader!
Spike: Aw, sure ya will, Twilight. Now c'mon, you should get some shut-eye. Big day tomorrow! [sigh]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] Can't... tuck...! [grunts]
[twang]
Twilight Sparkle: Just trying to get comfortable! Ugh!
[remixed theme song]
[crickets chirping]
[hoofsteps]
[door creaks]
Spike: [snoring]
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh!
Spike: Huh? What?
Twilight Sparkle: [yawns] My crown! She's got my crown! Stop! Thief! She's stolen my crown!
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Stop! [grunts]
[clatter]
Main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: What did you do with my crown?
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry it had to be this way... Princess.
Main cast: [gasps]
Fluttershy: Who was that?
Princess Celestia: Sunset Shimmer. A former student of mine. She began her studies with me not long before Twilight. But when she did not get what she wanted as quickly as she liked, she turned cruel and dishonest. I tried to help her, but she eventually decided to abandon her studies and pursue her own path. One that has sadly led to her stealing your crown.
Spike: She replaced Twilight's with this one.
Princess Celestia: I suppose Sunset Shimmer thought you wouldn't notice right away that this was not yours. And by the time you did, it would be too late to go after your crown and Element of Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle: But I don't understand. Where did she go? Where did she take the crown?
Princess Celestia: You'll soon know more about this place than even I do.
Princess Luna: This is no ordinary mirror. It is a gateway to another world. A gateway that opens once every thirty moons.
Pinkie Pie: Sparkly!
Princess Luna: It has always been kept in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. But when Princess Cadance took over the Crystal Empire, we sent it here for her to watch over.
Princess Celestia: [sigh] I had always hoped that Sunset Shimmer would someday use it to return, to come back to Equestria seeking my guidance. Obviously, this is not what has happened.
Princess Cadance: Twilight, you must use the mirror to go into this other world and retrieve your crown. Without it, the other Elements of Harmony have no power and Equestria is left without one of its most important means of defense.
Princess Luna: Your crown does not belong in the place Sunset Shimmer now calls home. And in her possession, your Element of Harmony will no doubt be used to bring harm to the inhabitants of this other realm. They will not have the power to defend themselves.
Princess Celestia: You understand the importance of your task?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course.
Princess Celestia: Good. Then you must go at once.
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa! She's going, we're going with her.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Rainbow Dash: Right, girls?
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! I'm so 'nervicited'!
Applejack: You do realize that's not a real word, right?
Princess Celestia: I'm afraid I can't let you go.
Rainbow Dash: What?! Why not?!
Princess Celestia: Sending all of you could upset the balance of this alternate world, creating havoc that would make it impossible for Twilight to get the crown back from Sunset Shimmer. This is something Princess Twilight must do alone.
Princess Luna: Time is of the essence. On the third day, when the moon reaches its peak in the night sky, the gateway will close. And once it does, it will be another thirty moons before you will be able to use it to return.
Rest of main cast: [remarks of encouragement] Spike, NO!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Aaaah!
Spike: [yelping]
Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Spike: Uh, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Spike! You're not supposed to– Spike? Are you a... dog?
Spike: I... think so. But I have no idea what you are!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? [screams] [panting]
Spike: Twilight, you have to get it together!
Twilight Sparkle: [heavy breathing] [sigh] What... does the rest of me look like?
Spike: Um, like you. Only not you. Your muzzle's really small.
Twilight Sparkle: My muzzle?! [panics]
Spike: Are you gonna scream again? Where are we?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But that must serve as the gateway back to Equestria. We need to find my crown as soon as possible and get back there. I suggest we start searching the castle first.
Spike: Works for me. Yeah, I don't think that's how the new you is supposed to–
[dog pants and whines]
Twilight Sparkle: Whooaaa... Whoa! Ooh... [laughs nervously] C'mon, Spike. I do not wanna be like this for longer than I have to.
Spike: Well, look on the bright side. You don't have those pesky wings to worry about anymore.
[thud]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm! [grunts] [gasps] My magic! It isn't working!
Spike: Makes sense. You don't exactly have your horn.
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Spike: We really need to find you a mirror.
Twilight Sparkle: What do ya think, Spike? Other artifacts she's stolen from Equestria? [gasps] What am I?
[school bell rings]
[scattered conversations]
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Oof!
Flash Sentry: Whoa. You okay?
Spike: I don't think this is a castle.
[Twilight Sparkle]
I've never seen a place
That's quite like this
Everything is turned around
This crazy world is upside-down
Getting on my feet
It's the hand that I was dealt
But I don't have much time with them
Got to learn all that I can
They don't use any magic or fly with any wings
I don't get these funny clothes, skinny legs or tiny nose
Everything's confusing when it seems so new
But I look a little closer and it starts to feel familiar too
What a strange new world (what a strange new world)
I'm trying to make heads or tails of this strange new world (what a strange new world)
Sorting through the small details of this strange new world
What a strange new world
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm really sorry. I-I just found it, and-and I thought I should give it to her. I didn't know you had dropped it.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, I did! And I was about to get it before you swooped in and ruined everything! You shouldn't pick up things that don't belong to you.
Fluttershy: [hushed] It... doesn't really belong to you, either.
Sunset Shimmer: Excuse me?!
Fluttershy: N-n-nothing...
Sunset Shimmer: That's what I thought. It's as good as mine, and you know it. You really are pathetic. It's no wonder your best friends are all stray animals.
Twilight Sparkle: How dare you speak to her that way!
Sunset Shimmer: What did you say?
Twilight Sparkle: I said, "How dare you speak to her that way!"
Sunset Shimmer: You must be new here. I can speak to anyone any way I want.
[locker door shuts]
Fluttershy: I can't believe you did that!
Twilight Sparkle: I couldn't just stand there.
Fluttershy: Well, it's just that nobody ever stands up to Sunset Shimmer.
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer!?
Fluttershy: You've heard of her?
Twilight Sparkle: Sort of...
Fluttershy: I don't think I've seen you around before. Did you just transfer to Canterlot High from another school?
Twilight Sparkle: Um... yes! Another... heh, school! My name's Twilight.
Fluttershy: [very quietly] I'm... Fluttershy.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, what was that?
Fluttershy: [even quieter] It's Fluttershy!
Twilight Sparkle: It sounds like you're saying Fluttershy, but how can that...?
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness! Who's this sweet little guy?
Twilight Sparkle: That's Spike! My, uh... dog!
Fluttershy: Oh, he's so cute! Go on, eat up, little pup!
Spike: [eats] Huh?
Fluttershy: Oh, wouldn't ya just give anything to know what they're really thinking?
Twilight Sparkle: He usually just tells me.
Fluttershy: Oh, w-what do you mean?
Spike: [barks]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, uh, nothing! (chuckles) Never mind. Sunset Shimmer said you picked something up. Something that belonged to her. It wasn't a crown, was it?
Fluttershy: How did you know?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, lucky guess? Do you still have it?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm.
Twilight Sparkle: But you know what happened to it.
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. This morning, I was passing out flyers for the animal shelter like I do every Wednesday.
Fluttershy: Canterlot's animal shelter needs more volunteers. Won't you help an animal that can't help itself?
[papers fluttering]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
[clunk]
Fluttershy: Ow!
Fluttershy: I have no idea how it got there. But I didn't want anything to happen to it, so I decided to give it to Principal Celestia.
Twilight Sparkle: Principal Celestia? She's the ruler here?
Fluttershy: You could say that. Technically, I guess she and Vice Principal Luna do make the rules.
Twilight Sparkle: Where is she now?
Fluttershy: Probably in her office. Third door on your left.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you!
Fluttershy: Oh, wait! You're not really supposed to have pets on school grounds. Might wanna tuck him into your backpack. That's what I do.
[cat meows]
[bird chirps]
Fluttershy: They just get so lonely when I'm in school all day.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, okay! Thank you!
[school bell rings]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! I'm late for class!
[knock knock knock knock]
Principal Celestia: Come in. How may I help you?
Twilight Sparkle: Um, uh... Whew. My name's Twilight Sparkle. I-I'm new here, and... Well, I understand that Fluttershy found a crown this morning and gave it to you.
Principal Celestia: Yes. I've had Vice Principal Luna put it somewhere for safekeeping. No idea how it ended up in the front lawn. Were you interested in running for Princess of the Fall Formal this year?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no. Not exactly. The truth is... Well, the truth is I... You see, the crown is actually... Princess of the Fall Formal?
Principal Celestia: It's Canterlot High's big Fall dance.
Twilight Sparkle: Like the Grand Galloping Gala.
Principal Celestia: Uh, Grand Galloping Gala?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, uh, it was a big deal at my old school.
Principal Celestia: And was there a princess?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but she wasn't exactly a student.
Principal Celestia: Here at Canterlot High, the students select one of their peers to represent them. She receives her crown at the Fall Formal.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. You asked me if I was interested in running for Princess. Can anyone run?
Principal Celestia: Yes. You just need to let the head of the Fall Formal planning committee know you'd like to be on the ballot. Was there anything else?
Twilight Sparkle: Um, nope! That was it!
Principal Celestia: Well, if you do need anything else, my door is always open.
[door closes]
Spike: Twilight, why didn't ya just tell her the crown was yours and ask for it back?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I was going to, but imagine if one of them showed up in Equestria saying they came from a place filled with tall, fleshy, two-legged creatures with these? We'd think they were crazy!
Spike: Hmm. You make a good point.
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like if I want my crown back, I'll have to become Princess of the Canterlot High Fall Formal. So that's what I'm gonna do!
Spike: And how exactly do you plan on doing that?
Twilight Sparkle: I have no idea!
[school bell rings]
[students chatting]
Twilight Sparkle: I know we've just met, but I was wondering if you might be able to help me with something.
Fluttershy: Of course!
Twilight Sparkle: I've decided to run for Princess of the Fall Formal, and–
Fluttershy: [gasp] Oh! Oh, gosh! Sorry. It's just, oh, running for Fall Formal Princess is a really bad idea.
Twilight Sparkle: Why?
Fluttershy: Sunset Shimmer wants to be Fall Formal Princess, and when she wants something, she gets it! She'll make life awful for anyone who stands in her way. Just ask the girl who ran against her for Princess of the Spring Fling.
Twilight Sparkle: I have to try!
Fluttershy: Oh, I don't think you understand. You'd have to convince everyone here to vote for you instead of her: the athletes, the fashionistas, the dramas, the eco-kids, the techies, the rockers...
Twilight Sparkle: Why is everypony–
[smack]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, everybody separated this way?
Fluttershy: Maybe it was different at your old school, but at CHS, everybody sticks to their own kind. One thing that they do have in common is that they know Sunset Shimmer is gonna rule the school until we graduate.
Twilight Sparkle: Not if I can help it! [chews apple] So, uh, [giggle] where would I find the head of the party planning committee?
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy said she'd probably be in here.
Pinkie Pie: Incoming! [breathes in and blows into a balloon]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi, my name's Twilight Sparkle and... Pinkie Pie?
[balloon deflates]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Are you psychic?!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no. I don't think so. Unless of course that's something you can do here.
Pinkie Pie: [sigh] Not usually.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy said this is where I'd find the head of the Fall Formal planning committee.
Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy, huh? Don't let the whole "shy" thing fool you. She can be a real meanie.
Twilight Sparkle: You two aren't friends?
Pinkie Pie: Waited a bit to get your name on the ballot, huh? Dance is day after tomorrow.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm brand new here.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! I thought you didn't look familiar. Though, now that I'm really lookin' at you... Do you have a twin sister who lives in the city, has a pet dog named Spike that looks just like that one?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, maybe?
Pinkie Pie: Thought so. Anyhoo, just need to fill this out and you are officially up for the coveted Princess of the Fall Formal crown.
[pen scratching]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! You have really bad handwriting. It's like you've never held a pen before.
Twilight Sparkle: [nervous laughter] Is it?
Applejack: Somebody order a dozen cases of fizzy apple cider?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Oh! Me, me-me-me, me, yeah, ha-ha, me!
Applejack: Can you bring in the rest?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Applejack: Hey, I know you.
Twilight Sparkle: You do?
Applejack: Sure. You're the new girl who gave Sunset Shimmer the what for today. [gulps cider]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight Sparkle here is gonna run against Sunset Shimmer for Princess of the Fall Formal.
Applejack: [spits] I'd think twice about that. Oh, sure, she'll probably approach you all friendly like... [fakes Sunset Shimmer's voice] I sure am lookin' forward to some friendly competition. [fakes Twilight's voice] That's so good to hear. [normal] But then, here comes the backstabbin'.
[balloon pops]
Applejack: About the only girl in this school you can trust less than Sunset Shimmer is Rainbow Dash.
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash?
Pinkie Pie: She's the captain of, like, every team at Canterlot High.
[balloon pops]
Applejack: She's also the captain of sayin' she's gonna do somethin' for ya, and then turnin' around and not even botherin' to show up.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks for the advice, Applejack, but this is something I really need to do.
Applejack: Huh, suit yourself. Hey, how'd you know my name is Applejack?
Twilight Sparkle: Um, I uh... [nervous laughter] Didn't you say?
Big Mac: Nnnope.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, it sure was nice meeting you both. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around.
Pinkie Pie: That one's tryin' to hide a secret, but I am totally on to her. [whispering] She's psychic!
Applejack: Uh-huh. If you say so.
[doors open]
Sunset Shimmer: This looks terrible! There should be more streamers near the stage and fewer balloons.
[balloon pops]
Snips: Yeah, streamers!
Snails: And fewer balloons!
[thud]
Sunset Shimmer: Fizzy apple cider? Ugh! This is my coronation, not a hoedown.
Applejack: Well, now, it ain't necessarily gonna be your coronation this time around.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, is that so? You country folk really aren't that bright. Must be why the other students say such awful things about you.
Applejack: Grrr...
Sunset Shimmer: Obviously it's gonna be my coronation. I'm running unopposed.
Pinkie Pie: Not this time. The new girl just signed up!
Sunset Shimmer: What?!
Pinkie Pie: I know. Her handwriting is really bad.
Sunset Shimmer: [to herself] Where is this Twilight Sparkle? [laughs] [to Applejack and Pinkie Pie] I'm looking forward to meeting the competition!
[students chatting]
Sunset Shimmer: Can't believe I didn't recognize you earlier. Shoulda known Princess Celestia would send her prized pupil here after my crown, and her little dog, too.
Twilight Sparkle: It's my crown!
Sunset Shimmer: Whatever. This is just a minor setback for me. You don't know the first thing about this place, and I already rule it.
Twilight Sparkle: If that's so, why do you even need my crown? You went to an awful lot of trouble to switch it with the one that belongs here.
Sunset Shimmer: Pop quiz: what happens when you bring an Element of Harmony into an alternate world? You don't know? Seriously? [laughing] And you're supposed to be Princess Celestia's star student? Then again, what were the chances she'd find somepony as bright as me to take under her wing after I decided to leave Equestria? Bit embarrassing that you were the best she could do.
Spike: [growls]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, and I'd keep an eye on your mutt. Hate for him to be... taken away from you.
Spike: Is that a threat?
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, of course not.
Spike: [barks]
Sunset Shimmer: But I'd cut down on the chatter if I were you. Don't want everyone to know you two don't belong here, now would you? You wanna be a princess here? Please. You don't know the first thing about fitting in.
Sunset Shimmer: I want you to follow her. Bring me something I can use just like I did with that last girl who thought she could challenge me.
Snips: You got it, Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset Shimmer: When the crown and its power are mine, Twilight Sparkle will be sorry she ever set hoof into this world. Not that she would've been much safer if she'd stayed in Equestria.
Snips: Yeah, in Equestria.
Sunset Shimmer: What are you still doing here?! Go!
Snips and Snails: Ow. Oh.
[vending machine creaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
Trixie Lulamoon: Excuse me. The Great and Powerful Trixie! ...Needs some peanut butter crackers.
[machine clanks]
Trixie Lulamoon: Voilà!
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer is right. I don't know the first thing about this place. If I'm gonna really fit in and win votes, we need to do some research.
Spike: Research?
Twilight Sparkle: This place has a school. I have to believe it's got a... library!
Snips: Got your phone?
Snails: Got yours?
Snips and Snails: [snickering]
Twilight Sparkle: So I just push the letters here, and then the words and moving pictures will come up here?
Cheerilee: [sigh] That's right.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe this place does have magic.
[music playing]
Scootaloo: [in video] "When you're a younger–"
[music shuts off]
Cheerilee: Uh, girls, what are you doing?
Sweetie Belle: We're just seeing how many hits our new music video has gotten.
Scootaloo: [in video] "So the three of us will fight the fight..."
Cheerilee: [groaning] No, just...
Scootaloo: [in video] "There is nothing–"
[music shuts off]
Cheerilee: No! The school computers are for research purposes only.
Apple Bloom: It's just as well, y'all. Some of the comments about our song were really awful. "Epic fail"... "Funniest thing I've ever seen"?!
Sweetie Belle: Funniest thing they've ever seen, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I don't know that that's what you should take from... [sounds of exertion]
Snips and Snails: [snickering]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Whoa! Waah!
Cheerilee: Shhh!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... [nervous laughter]
Snips and Snails: [snickering harder]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Voice on P.A. system: The library will be closing in five minutes.
Twilight Sparkle: [yawn] [gasp] I hadn't even thought about where we're gonna sleep tonight!
Spike: Way ahead of you.
Spike: It's a little [cough, cough] dusty. But it doesn't seem like anybody comes up here.
Twilight Sparkle: It's perfect, Spike.
Spike: So, how did your research go?
Twilight Sparkle: I found this book. It's called a yearbook. It seems to be something they use to keep a record of things that have happened at the school. Look. That's Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and I'm gonna bet the girl on the far right is Rarity.
Spike: There's a Rarity here!? Uh, I mean, uh... interesting photo.
Twilight Sparkle: It's interesting because they look like they're friends.
Spike: They do look like our friends. But I thought we'd figured that out already.
Twilight Sparkle: No, I mean... they look like they're friends with each other. But it doesn't seem like they're friends now.
Spike: Not so much.
Twilight Sparkle: I just can't help but get the feeling that Sunset Shimmer had something to do with it.
Spike: I wouldn't put it past her. But she wanted your crown 'cause she's planning on doing something even worse! If you're gonna stop her, you have to focus on making friends here. Can't worry about why these girls aren't friends anymore. Even if they [yawning] do remind you of your Ponyville friends.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right, Spike. [sigh] Eye on the prize.
Principal Celestia: [on P.A. system] Good morning, students, and happy Thursday. Just a reminder to pick up your ballots for the Princess of the Fall Formal today. They are due at the time the dance starts tomorrow night, so don't forget to turn them in and make your voice heard.
Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy said I'd need to win over all those different groups if I wanna become Princess of the Fall Formal. So I've compiled a list of talking points.
Spike: [laughing] You made a list? That's so unlike you! [laughs nervously] Uh... Please... Continue.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll start introducing myself, sprinkle in some things I learned about their world into the conversation, show them how I fit in here! [sigh] Okay, Spike. Time to make a good first impression on my fellow students. The whole world sorta depends on it.
"Nolan North": Hey, look.
[students laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Why is everybody looking at me funny? Whoa! What're you...? Why did you...? Rarity?
Rarity: Perfect! Oh, yes. This is good! No one will recognize you!
Twilight Sparkle: Why wouldn't I wanna be–
Rarity: And we'll need a disguise for your dog, which is too bad. He really is so adorable! Y'know, with a little work, I think I could make him look like a rabbit instead.
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: A rabbit?
[door opens]
Applejack: There you are, Twilight.
Rarity: So much for the disguise.
Applejack: I've been lookin' all over for ya!
Fluttershy: Me too.
Pinkie Pie: Me three! I like your new look!
Rarity: I do have an eye for these sorts of things. Not that you seem to care.
Pinkie Pie: What?!
Twilight Sparkle: Why do you think she doesn't care? No, never mind. Why were you all looking for me? What's going on?
Fluttershy: Oh, she hasn't seen it yet.
Twilight Sparkle: Seen what?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, it's really not that bad. [laughing nervously]
Sunset Shimmer: [in video] Twilight Sparkle wants to be your Fall Formal Princess. But what does it say about our school if we give someone like this... such an important honor?
Twilight Sparkle: Wha... I...
Pinkie Pie: I take that back. It's pretty bad!
Twilight Sparkle: But this all happened yesterday! At the library! Has everyone in the school seen this? Is that why they were all looking at me that way?
Pinkie Pie and Applejack: Mmm...
Twilight Sparkle: What am I gonna do? No one is gonna vote for me after seeing this!
Fluttershy: Not that it'll make any difference, but I'll still vote for you.
[thunk]
Fluttershy: You were so nice to stand up for me when Sunset Shimmer was picking on me yesterday.
Pinkie Pie: If ya still wanna run, maybe there's something I can do to help!
Fluttershy: Word of advice? Don't accept her help. She doesn't take anything seriously!
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Why do you have to be so awful to me?
Rarity: Oh! Pff. Kch. Ts! Don't play innocent, Pinkie Pie! You are no better than she is!
Pinkie Pie: And what is that supposed to mean?!
Rarity: [to Twilight] I am happy to offer up my assistance as well. [to Pinkie] To someone who would appreciate what I have to offer!
[arguing]
Applejack: Listen to y'all carryin' on! Get over it and move on!
Rarity: You mean like how you've gotten over what happened with Rainbow Dash?
Applejack: She said she'd get the softball team to make an appearance at my bake sale. I tell everybody they're comin', and then not one of 'em shows up! She made a liar outta me! That's different!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Is not!
Applejack: Is too!
[arguing continues]
Twilight Sparkle: STOP! All of you! I wanna show you something. You were friends once.
Applejack: Hmm. The Freshman Fair. Y'all remember?
Pinkie Pie: Mm-hmm.
Rarity: Yes.
Twilight Sparkle: But something happened. I think that something was Sunset Shimmer.
Rarity: Well, it's a nice theory, darling, but Sunset Shimmer had nothing to do with it.
Fluttershy: She's right. Sunset Shimmer isn't the one who ruined my silent auction for the animal shelter by bringing fireworks and noisemakers! It was supposed to be a serious event, and Pinkie Pie ruined it!
Pinkie Pie: What are you talking about? I got a text from you saying that you didn't want a silent auction. You wanted a big party!
Fluttershy: Uh! I never sent you a text!
Pinkie Pie: You didn't?
Rarity: You don't think she's the one who's been sending me those e-mails, do you? Every time I volunteer to help with the decorations at a school function, I get an e-mail from Pinkie Pie saying she has plenty of volunteers! And then I find out she's done everything herself.
Pinkie Pie: I never sent you any e-mails!
Applejack: Maybe she's the reason Rainbow Dash didn't show up for my bake sale!
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't you ever ask Rainbow Dash why she didn't show up?
Applejack: Heh, I guess I kinda stopped talkin' to her at all after that.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe now would be a good time to start.
Rarity: They're actually talking! That's a good sign!
Pinkie Pie: Hugs! Ooh, hugs are always good!
Applejack: Somebody, and I think we can all guess who, told Rainbow Dash that my bake sale had been moved to a different day. Dash showed up with all the softball team and thought I'd cancelled on her!
Rainbow Dash: So you're lookin' to dethrone Sunset Shimmer and become Princess of the Fall Formal, huh? Gotta say, I'd really love to see that happen. I'll totally help you out! All you gotta do is beat me in a game of one-on-one.
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Rainbow Dash: First to five goals wins. One-zip!
[energetic music]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasping]
Rainbow Dash: That's game!
Rarity: I... really thought you were gonna... pull it off there in the end! [laughs nervously]
Rainbow Dash: So what's the plan? How can I help you be princess instead of Sunset Shimmer?
Twilight Sparkle: But... I... lost!
Rainbow Dash: Of course you lost. I'm awesome! But I'm not gonna help just anybody try and beat Sunset Shimmer. The Fall Formal Princess should be someone with heart and determination. You've proved that you've got 'em both!
[cheering]
Snips and Snails: [snickering]
Twilight Sparkle: And... can I get mine with extra oats?
Mrs. Cake: Oats?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, scratch that. However you normally make it is fine.
[cup clatters]
Flash Sentry: Oh! We've got to stop bumping into each other like this.
Twilight Sparkle: You know me! Always trying to make a big splash around here. 'Cause my drink kinda splashed... on the ground! [nervous laughter] I'm gonna go over there now.
Rarity: Don't even think about it! You're already trying to get her crown. Who knows what Sunset Shimmer would do if you ended up getting her ex-boyfriend too?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not trying to. I don't even know... We just accidentally... Ex-boyfriend?
Fluttershy: Flash Sentry broke up with her a few weeks ago. I can't believe she hasn't done something awful to him yet.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe she's just waiting until she has the power to do something really awful.
Applejack: All right, girls. Dance is tomorrow night, and we still don't know how we're gonna get Twilight the votes she needs to be named princess. Right now, folks only know the Twilight from the videos Sunset Shimmer posted online. We need to help 'em see her differently.
[remarks of agreement]
Rarity: I'VE GOT IT! Ahem. I mean, um, perhaps I have a solution. Now this may be an absolutely preposterous idea, but what if we all wore these as a sign of unity? Freshman year, they were very, very popular. A way for everybody to show their school spirit! You know? "Go, Canterlot Wondercolts!" Ahem. I haven't sold any in ages. I mean, the five of us are obviously very different, but deep down, we're all Canterlot Wondercolts! Sunset Shimmer is the one who divided us, Twilight Sparkle is the one who united us. And we're gonna let everyone know it! What do you think?
[students chatting]
[guitar strumming]
[lunch tray thudding]
[glasses thudding]
[stomping and clapping]
[Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity]
Hey, hey, everybody
We've got something to say
We may seem as different
As the night is from day
But you look a little deeper
And you will see
That I'm just like you
And you're just like me.
Yeah!
Hey, hey, everybody
We're here to shout
That the magic of friendship
Is what it's all about
Yeah,
We thought we were different
As the night is from the day
Until Twilight Sparkle
Helped us see another way
So get up get down
If you're gonna come around
We can work together
Helping Twilight win the crown
So get up get down
'Cause it's gonna make a sound
If we work together
Helping Twilight Sparkle
Win the crown!
[Pinkie Pie]
Hey, hey hands up now,
We're sending a message
To the crowd
Hands wave up
Then come down
We party together
All around
[Rarity]
Generous, honesty,
[Applejack]
Laughter, kindness, loyalty
[Fluttershy]
Twilight helped us each to see
[Rainbow Dash]
All that we can be!
[Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity]
So get up get down
If you're gonna come around
We can work together
Helping Twilight win the crown
So get up get down
'Cause it's gonna make a sound
If we work together
Helping Twilight Sparkle
Win the crown!
[Twilight Sparkle]
I'm gonna be myself
No matter what I do
And if we're different yeah
I want you to be true to you
If you follow me
We'll put our differences aside
We'll stick together and
Start working on that school pride!
[All students]
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Start now, make a change,
Gonna come around
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Canterlot Wondercolts
Help her win the crown!
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Start now, make a change,
Gonna come around
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Canterlot Wondercolts
Help her win the crown!
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Start now, make a change,
Gonna come around
Jump up make a sound (Hey!)
Stomp your hooves turn around
Canterlot...
[song continues in the background]
Sunset Shimmer: Take those off! I have something I need you to do.
[school bell rings]
[student chatting]
Rarity: Doesn't everyone look just fabulous?
Twilight Sparkle: It was a great idea, Rarity!
Applejack: Don't know what she's smilin' about. Twilight's the one that's gonna be Princess of the Fall Formal.
[knock knock knock]
Sunset Shimmer: Vice Principal Luna! Something terrible has happened!
Sunset Shimmer: Isn't this just awful? And after Pinkie Pie worked so hard to make things so perfect! Why would Twilight Sparkle do something like this?
Vice Principal Luna: Why would you think Twilight was responsible for something like this?
Sunset Shimmer: Because I have proof.
Twilight Sparkle: But... But I don't understand!
Vice Principal Luna: This is clearly you in the photographs, is it not?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but...
Vice Principal Luna: I think it should be fairly obvious that the school cannot let someone who would do something like this compete for the Fall Formal crown.
[knock knock]
Flash Sentry: Vice Principal Luna. I found these in a trash can in the library. Thought you should see them. Someone obviously combined these photos to make it look like Twilight was the one who trashed the gym.
Vice Principal Luna: I appreciate you bringing these to my attention, Flash. In light of this new evidence, you may of course continue your bid to be crowned the Princess of the Fall Formal.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! You have no idea how important this is to me!
Flash Sentry: (chuckles) What was I gonna do? Not prove your innocence? Wouldn't be much of a Canterlot Wondercolt, would I?
Vice Principal Luna: I am afraid enough damage has been done to the gym that we will have to postpone the dance until tomorrow night. If you will excuse me, I need to let my sister know about this latest development.
Flash Sentry: So, uh, I was wondering. If you aren't already going with somebody, wanna go to the Fall Formal with me tomorrow night?
Twilight Sparkle: That would be... Tomorrow night!? No, no-no-no-no-no, no no no no no! Nonononono! I can't! The portal! That'll be too late! [panting]
Flash Sentry: One "no" would have been fine!
Rarity: Everything okay in there?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! [to herself] Only it's not okay. It's not okay at all! If I don't get my crown tonight, I won't be able to go back to Equestria for another thirty moons! Oh, what are we gonna do?
Spike: Hmm. We tell them the truth. Let them know what's really at stake if you don't get the crown tonight. They'll help us figure somethin' out.
Twilight Sparkle: But what if they won't? What if when they find out how different I really am...?
Spike: Twilight, these girls rallied around you 'cause they saw what was in your heart. They aren't gonna feel any differently about you when they find out you're a pony princess in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you followed me here, Spike.
Spike: Me too. Unless, of course, we get stuck here for another thirty moons.
Applejack: You okay?
Twilight Sparkle: The Fall Formal isn't happening tonight.
Pinkie Pie: WHAT!?
Twilight Sparkle: It had to be postponed because Sunset Shimmer had Snips and Snails ruin all of Pinkie Pie's decorations.
Pinkie Pie: WHAT?!?
Twilight Sparkle: But the Fall Formal has to happen tonight.
Pinkie Pie: Wha–!
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] You see...
Pinkie Pie: You're from an alternate world and you're a pony princess there and the crown actually has a magical element embedded in it that helps power up other magical elements, and without it, they don't work anymore, and you need them to help protect your magical world, and if you don't get the crown tonight, you'll be stuck in this world and you won't be able to get back for, like, a really, really long time! [squee]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that isn't the reason.
Spike: Nope, she's pretty much spot-on.
Rarity: He can talk!?
Spike: Oh, yeah! And back where I come from, I'm not even a dog! I'm a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon!
Fluttershy: This is so amazing! Tell me, what are you thinking right now?
Spike: Sure would love a scratch behind the old ears!
Rarity: Gah...
Spike: Uh, maybe later.
Twilight Sparkle: How did you know all that?
Pinkie Pie: Just a hunch.
Applejack: Wait a minute! Lemme get this straight. You're a pony?
Rarity: You're a princess?
Fluttershy: You're from another world?
Twilight Sparkle: [gulp] Mm-hmm.
Rainbow Dash: That... is... awesome!
[excited chatter]
Spike: See? Told ya.
Rarity: I simply cannot believe they did all this!
Pinkie Pie: If I only had some kind of... party cannon that could decorate everything super fast!
Twilight Sparkle: I know it seems impossible, but, maybe if we all work together?
Applejack: Now that's the kinda can-do spirit I'm lookin' for in a Fall Formal Princess! Let's do it, y'all!
Rarity: Absolutely!
Rainbow Dash: Rock on!
Pinkie Pie: Yes, indeedily!
Fluttershy: [whispers] Yaaay!
[Twilight Sparkle]
It's time for us to come together
It's the only way that things will get better
It's time for us to take a stand
So come on and lend a helping hand
[All]
Fix it up
Yeah, it's all right
We'll get it ready by tonight
Mix it up
Yeah, help a friend
We'll come together in the end
[Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash]
It's time to show that we've got school spirit
Raise your voice and let everyone hear it
[Rarity and Applejack]
It's time to show that we're strong
So come on, everybody, sing along
[All]
(Look...) Look how we've all come together
(Things...) Things are only just starting to get better
(Look...) Look how we've all come together
(Things...) Things are only gonna get better, better, better, better!
(We... will...) Fix it up, yeah, it's all right
(Come... tonight, tonight...) We'll get it ready by tonight
(We... will...) Mix it up, yeah, help a friend
(Come... together, together...) We'll come together in the end
(We... will...) Fix it up, yeah, it's all right
(Come... tonight, tonight...) We'll get it ready by tonight
(We... will...) Mix it up, yeah, help a friend
(Come... together, together...) We'll come together, together now!
Pinkie Pie: This... looks... sooooo... GOOD!
Principal Celestia: [clapping] All right, everyone! Fall Formal is back on for this evening.
[students cheering]
Principal Celestia: So you'd better get out of here and start getting ready. Oh, and don't forget to cast your ballots for the Fall Formal Princess on your way out!
"Scott Green": You got my vote, Twilight.
"Cloudy Kicks": Mine, too!
Girl #2: Mine too!
Girl #3: Mine too!
Sunset Shimmer: You're lucky she was able to pull this off. Next time I ask you to make a mess of things, try to show a little restraint! I need this Formal to go on tonight just as much as she does.
Fluttershy: I still can't believe we pulled that off!
Rainbow Dash: I can! We're awesome!
Rarity: Enough chatter, girls. We need to get ready, and we need to look fabulous!
[All]
This is our big night
We're getting ready
And we're doing it up right
This is our big night
Friendship survived,
Now we'll start it out right
The time's right, gonna make it last 'cause it's the first night
That we're ever gonna start to just have fun together
We're so glad, so happy we could never be mad
Did it right now, this is our big night now
Six friends on the way up now
Six friends here to show you how
This is our big night
We're getting ready
And we're doing it up right
This is our big night
We made it happen
Now let's party all night
This is our big night
This is our big night
This is our big night
This is our big night
[limo pulls up]
[girls laughing]
[car pulls up]
Flash Sentry: Uh, Twilight! Look, I know you said "no" about going to the Fall Formal with me, but would you reconsider and at least have one dance?
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't say "no"! I mean, I did, but... I didn't mean no, to you. I was... Well, what I mean is... yes. I'd love to dance with you!
[smack]
[rock music]
Twilight Sparkle: Anybody see Sunset Shimmer?
Rainbow Dash: Maybe she was too embarrassed to show! She's gotta know you won by a landslide!
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe...
[music ends]
[cheering]
Principal Celestia: First off, I wanna say how wonderful everything looks tonight. You all did a magnificent job pulling things together after the unfortunate events of earlier. And now, without further ado, I'd like to announce the winner of this year's Fall Formal crown. The Princess of this year's Fall Formal is... Twilight Sparkle!
[students cheering]
Principal Celestia: Congratulations, Twilight.
Spike: Twilight! Help!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?
Spike: [growling]
Twilight Sparkle: They've got Spike!
Sunset Shimmer: That's close enough!
Spike: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't hurt him!
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm not a monster, Twilight. [to Snips and Snails] Let him go. [to Twilight] You don't belong here. Give me the crown, and you can go back to Equestria tonight. Or keep it and never go home.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasp]
Sunset Shimmer: Tick-tock, Twilight. We haven't got all night. The portal will be closing on its own in less than an hour. So, what's your answer?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Sunset Shimmer: What!? Equestria! Your friends! Lost to you forever! Don't you see what I'm about to do to the portal?!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but I've also seen what you've been able to do here without magic. Equestria will find a way to survive without my Element of Harmony. This place might not, if I allow it to fall into your hands. So go ahead. Destroy the portal. You are not getting this crown!
Sunset Shimmer: Fine. You win.
Rainbow Dash: You... are... so awesome!
Applejack: I can't believe you were gonna do that for us!
Rarity: It's no wonder you're a real live princess!
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, yes, she's so very special! [to Snips and Snails] Grab him, you fools!
Spike: [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Spike! Spike! Fluttershy!
Sunset Shimmer: I'll take that! [chuckles evilly] At last! More power than I could ever imagine!
[students gasp]
[thunder rumbles]
Sunset Shimmer: [evil laughter]
Main cast: [gasps]
Snips: This is gonna be so cool!
[students screaming]
Sunset Shimmer: I've had to jump through so many hoops tonight just to get my hands on this crown, and it really should have been mine all along. [growls] But let's let bygones be bygones. I am your princess now, and you will be loyal... to me!
[students screaming, Wilhelm scream]
[entranced moaning]
Sunset Shimmer: [to Snips and Snails] Round them up and bring them to the portal. [to Twilight and friends] Spoiler alert: I was bluffing when I said I was going to destroy the portal. I don't want to rule this pathetic little high school; I want Equestria! And with my own little teenage army behind me, I am going to get it!
[zombie-like moans]
Twilight Sparkle: No, you're not!
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, please! What exactly do you think you're going to do to stop me? I have magic, and you have nothing!
Rainbow Dash: She has us!
Sunset Shimmer: [growls, evil laughter] Gee, the gang really is all back together again. [evil laughter] Now step aside! Twilight has tried to interfere with my plans one too many times already! She needs to be dealt with! [evil laughter] What!?
Twilight Sparkle: The magic contained in my Element was able to unite with those that helped create it! [echoing] Honesty! Kindness! Laughter! Generosity! Loyalty! Magic! Together with a crown, they create a power beyond anything you could imagine, but it is a power you don't have the ability to control! The crown may be upon your head, Sunset Shimmer, but you cannot wield it, because you do not possess the most powerful magic of all: the magic of friendship!
Sunset Shimmer: No! [screaming] What is happening?!
Twilight Sparkle: Here and in Equestria, it is the only magic that can truly unite us all!
Twilight Sparkle: You will never rule in Equestria. Any power you may have had in this world is gone. Tonight, you've shown everyone who you really are. You've shown them what is in your heart.
Sunset Shimmer: [crying] I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know there was another way.
Twilight Sparkle: The magic of friendship doesn't just exist in Equestria. It's everywhere. You can seek it out, or you can forever be alone. The choice is yours.
Sunset Shimmer: But... But all I've ever done since being here is drive everyone apart. I don't know the first thing about friendship.
Twilight Sparkle: I bet they can teach you.
Spike: Those are my girls! Woo-hoo!
"Brawly Beats": Did that dog just talk? Whoa. Weird.
Spike: Seriously? The talking dog is a weird thing about all this?
Rarity: I, for one, think you're adorable.
Spike: Oh, yeah.
Principal Celestia: I believe this belongs to you. A true princess in any world leads not by forcing others to bow before her, but by inspiring others to stand with her. We have all seen that you are capable of just that. I hope you see it too, Princess Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I do.
[crowd cheers]
Flash Sentry: Would now be a completely awkward time to ask you for that dance?
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
[All]
This is our big night
We made it happen
Now let's party all night
We're here now and we worked so hard to make it come around
To tonight so let's try to make it last forever
The school lights so bright, beat is pumping through the night
Party's starting, DJ's got the music just right!
Six friends on the way up now
Six friends here to show you how
This is our big night
This is our big night
This is our big night
Main cast: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: You'll look out for her, won't you?
Rarity: Of course we will. Although I do expect some sort of apology for last spring's debacle.
Twilight Sparkle: I have a feeling she'll be handing out a lot of apologies.
Spike: We better get going.
Twilight Sparkle: I know we've only been friends for a short time, but I'm gonna miss all of you so much. [sigh]
Spike: That crown really does suit you, Princess Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: You know what, Spike? I am starting to feel a little more comfortable wearing it.
Spike: And the wings?
Twilight Sparkle: I've been walking on two legs and picking things up with these! Wings? I'm thrilled that's all I'll be dealing with back in Equestria!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, bummer!
Fluttershy: Twilight!
Rainbow Dash: Ah, you're back!
Rarity: You've got your crown!
Pinkie Pie: I knew you could do it!
Applejack: Oh, we were so worried.
Princess Celestia: Sunset Shimmer, is she alright?
Twilight Sparkle: I think she's gonna be fine. I left her in good hands.
Rainbow Dash: What are hands?
Fluttershy: Where did you stay?
Rarity: What did they wear?
Pinkie Pie: Did ya have fun?
Applejack: What'd ya eat?
Rainbow Dash: Would ya say she's just as awesome as me?
Twilight Sparkle: [sigh] I wanna tell you all everything, I do, but I'm just so exhausted from all the dancing.
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Princess Cadance: Dancing?!
Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry: Oh.
Flash Sentry: We've got to stop bumping into each other like this.
Twilight Sparkle: Who was that?
Princess Cadance: He's a new member of the castle guard. Flash Sentry, I think. Why? Do you know him?
Twilight Sparkle: Not exactly.
Applejack: Oooh! Somepony's got a crush on the new guy!
Twilight Sparkle: No. No, I don't.
Rarity: [gasp] She does! She absolutely does!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't be ridiculous. I don't even know him. He just...
Pinkie Pie: Totally reminds you of a guy you met in the other world who played guitar, was in a band, and helped prove you didn't destroy all the decorations for a big dance, so you could still run for princess of the big dance, and then asked you to dance at that dance?! [big breath] Right?
Twilight Sparkle: How did you know that?
Pinkie Pie: Just a hunch!
[credits]
[Singer]
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
I couldn't see what was
Right there in front of me
Turned my back
Got my mind off track
Yeah
You saw a world that was
Something new entirely
Helped me to see
All the possibilities
Oooohhhhh....
Like a star in the day light
Or like a diamond at night
Your light was hidden
From my sight
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
Every friendship is tested
You say you're sincere
But it's all unclear now
But with a word
Everything changes
And just like that
You and I are right back
Oohhh....
Like a star in the day light (Star in the day light)
Or like a diamond at night (Diamond at night)
Your light will shine
When the time is right
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
When I put my hand out
And I thought I would fall
You knew what I needed
And you came around
To fix it all
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
Ooohh-wa-ooohh
(Like a star in the day light)
A friend for life (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
That's what you are to me (ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohh)
(Like a diamond at night)
Ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ohhh
That's what you are to me

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks/Animated shorts

Music to My EarsEdit

[dubstep music]
[music stops]
Mrs. Cake: What can I get ya?
[music continues]
[school bell rings]
[music stops]
[music continues]

Guitar CenteredEdit

Rarity: Rainbow Dash, I simply don't understand why you can't just play the guitar you have.
[sproing]
Rarity: [gasps] Now I understand.
Pinkie Pie: How about this one?
Rainbow Dash: No.
Pinkie Pie: Lookie here!
Rainbow Dash: No.
Pinkie Pie: Super groovy!
Rainbow Dash: No, Pinkie.
Applejack: Well, whatcha looking for?
Rainbow Dash: That's the problem! I need something that looks as awesome as I'm gonna make it sound. [gasps] Hands off my guitar, Trixie!
Trixie Lulamoon: I touched it first, Rainbow Dash!
Applejack: Sounds to me like this is a makin' for a nice, friendly competition.
Rainbow Dash: All right! Let's see who plays best!
Trixie Lulamoon: A shred-off?
Rainbow Dash: Shred on.
[electric guitar battle]
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Check me out! Uh, she can have it. Turns out this is the one that really speaks to me.
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful Trixie always wins in the end! [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: I doubt it.
Trixie Lulamoon: Twelve-thousand dollars?! You'll pay for this, Rainbow Dash!
Pinkie Pie: No, silly! If you want it, you have to pay for it.

Hamstocalypse NowEdit

[door creaks]
Fluttershy: Thanks for coming, Rarity. The rescue center needs all the help it can get.
Rarity: Oh, but of course, darling. Helping cute little puppies and kitties will never go out of style.
Fluttershy: Once a year, a lucky volunteer gets to clean the hamster habitat. I signed up for it months ago to be sure I'd get it. [singsongy] Housecleaning!
Rarity: Ooh. Uh, Fluttershy, darling, aren't hamsters, uh, rodents?
Fluttershy: They sure are. But they're cute and cuddly like bunnies. Okay, everyhamster, follow Rarity into the next room. She'll take good care of you while I give your home a nice scrub.
[pounding on the glass]
[door opens]
Fluttershy: Rarity, what happened?!
Rarity: Oh! Aah! Well, uh, Carl Pettington's coat just begged to be accessorized, but Emilia Furhart refused to be left out and got Curtis Pawpower to chew right through Carl's little scarf, and before I knew it, I had a habitat-wide feud on my hands! [beat] Also, I named them.
Fluttershy: Ladies and gentlehamsters, please! Now, I know you're all upset, but why don't we head back into the habitat and talk it over?
Carl Pettington: [smooches]
Emilia Furhart: [squeaks angrily]
Fluttershy and Rarity: [gasp]
Curtis Pawpower: [frightened squeak]
[tambourine jingles]
[door closes]
Rarity: Huh! I never would have guessed hamsters could be so touchy about fashion!

Pinkie on the OneEdit

Granny Smith: Just remember, the most important thing about sugar butter cocoa cookies is to fold your batter. Too much arm turnin'll make your cookies tougher than a lump of coal.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Pinkie. You're s'posed to help me find a drummer for my band.
Pinkie Pie: I guess I could fold a little faster.
[pots and pans clattering]
Rainbow Dash: Most people don't know how hard it is to find someone who could use both hands the way a drummer does.
Pinkie Pie: I'll bet!
[splat!]
Granny Smith: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Now, it's important that our banner look awesome! So feel free to use as much glitter as you want. A drummer can't just be anybody.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, of course not. [tapping on the glitter jar]
Rainbow Dash: They need to have the right instincts, you know?
Pinkie Pie: Totally! [continues drumming]
Rainbow Dash: [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: It's gotta be someone with a lot of...
Pinkie Pie: [squirts strawberry syrup]
Rainbow Dash: ...energy.
Pinkie Pie: Absolutely! [stirs glass] [drums on lunch tray]
Rainbow Dash: I mean, a lot! Energy, enthusiasm...
[plates and trays clattering]
Applejack: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [stops drumming] Whaaaaaaat?! [resumes drumming with silverware]
Rainbow Dash: They have to be able to carry the whole band on their shoulders!
Pinkie Pie: [still drumming with silverware]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Pinkie!
Rarity: We've got to find an outlet for all that energy!
Pinkie Pie: [wild, fast drumming]
Fluttershy: [exclaims]
Applejack: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Pinkie Pie: [cymbals crash] [pants]
Rarity: Whatever made you think of Pinkie for the drums?
Rainbow Dash: I dunno. Guess I just have a sense for these things.
Pinkie Pie: [plays sting]

Player PianoEdit

Rarity: [grunts and pants] Come on, Rarity! You simply must get this piano to band practice! [grunts and pants] What kind of person doesn't put a piano on wheels? [grunts, groans] Just look at me. I'm a mess. What I need is a bit more muscle. [to Rover, Fido, and Spot] Oh, boys!
Rarity: I simply cannot thank you enough. And while I am a bit repulsed by your musky smell, I can appreciate that you're all diamonds in the rough.
[students scream]
Rarity: Excuse me! Pardon me! Excuse me! Thank you!
Rover, Fido, and Spot: [panting]
Pinkie Pie: [drums]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Where is Rarity?!
Applejack: That gal probably just wants to make some sort of grand entrance.
Rarity: Tada!
Applejack: Told ya.
Rainbow Dash: Rarity, couldn't you have chosen a more portable instrument?
Rarity: Heavens, no! The grand piano is the most refined and elegant of instruments. With it, I will be able to express my full musicality.
[kitchen timer goes off]
Rainbow Dash: Well, our time's up. I guess we'll have to move our practice to the gym.
Applejack: Guess you're gonna express your "full musicality" clear across campus.
Rarity: Huh? Awww...
Pinkie Pie: Or you could play this! It's part guitar, part keyboard! It's a guitarkey!
Rainbow Dash: You mean a keytar.
Pinkie Pie: Po-tay-to, to-mah-to.
Rarity: [plays keytar] Ooh! Oooh! Oh, my!
Applejack: Well, look at that!
Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Wowee!
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness!
Applejack: Well, then, how about ya take that keytar and move your tail to our next rehearsal space?
Rarity: Fine, fine. [to Rover, Fido, and Spot] I don't suppose... [plays keytar riff]

A Case for the BassEdit

Applejack: Okay, Granny, one more time. When ya accidentally sold my bass at the garage sale, who did ya sell it to?
Granny Smith: [stammers] I sold it to the owners of that new pawn shop. Uh, Flibbity Flabbity, somethin' like that.
[bell rings]
Flim: Welcome to the grand opening of the Flim Flam Brothers' Everything Under the Sun Emporium!
Flam: If you want it...
Flim and Flam: ...we've got it!
Flim: Need a pogo stick?
Flam: A bowling ball?
Flim: A stuffed clown?
Flam: Whatever this is?
Applejack: I'd like that bass.
Flim: I can give you this bass for a non-negotiable price of one thousand dollars.
Rarity: Why, you only paid Granny Smith two dollars for it!
Flim: Yes, well, we have to cover our overhead and transportation costs.
Applejack: Listen, Granny never should've sold my bass. I'll give ya the two dollars back and we'll call it even.
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity: [agreeing]
Flim and Flam: Likely story!
Applejack: It is. That's my bass.
Flim: And can you prove that this is, in fact, your bass?
Rarity: Her initials are monogrammed right on the strap.
Flam: That could mean anything. It could stand for...
Flim: "Aardvark Junior"...
Flam: "Anvil Jokers"...
Flim: Or "Animal Jane".
Flam: Why, I'll bet you don't even play the bass, Applejack -- if that is your real name.
Rainbow Dash: Of course that's her real name!
Pinkie Pie: And she does play the bass!
Applejack: [plays slap bass solo]
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity: [cheering]
Flim: Perhaps this is her bass. But there are still the transportation costs and overhead.
Flam: Don't forget the stocking fees.
Flim: Wouldn't dream of it, brother!
Applejack: [sighs]
Flam: Then again, I suppose we could make some sort of trade?
Applejack: Come on down to the grand opening of the Flim Flam Brothers' Everything Under the Sun Emporium.
Granny Smith: Since when do you play the bass?

Shake your Tail!Edit

[The Rainbooms]
We've just got the day to get ready
And there's only so much time to lose
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party
So let's think of something fun to do
We don't know (we don't know) what's gonna happen
We just know (we just know) it's gonna feel right
All our friends are here
And it's time to ignite the lights!
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
[Twilight Sparkle]
So what you didn't get it right the first time
[Pinkie Pie]
Laugh it off, no one said it is a crime
[Rarity]
Do your thing, you know you're an original
[Applejack]
Your ideas are so funny that they're criminal
[The Rainbooms]
Ohhh-ahh!
We've just got the day to get ready
And there's only so much time to lose
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party
So let's think of something fun to do
We don't know (we don't know) what's gonna happen
We just know (we just know) it's gonna feel right
All our friends are here
And it's time to ignite the lights!
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight!

Perfect Day for Fun!Edit

[The Rainbooms]
Oh, aw aw oh, oh, oh, aw oh uh
Oh, aw aw oh, oh, oh
Looking forward to some fun
Knowing all our friends will come
'Cause we're here to spend the day
Everybody come and play
Let's all pick a meeting place
And we're gonna have to race
Everybody follow me
This is where we're gonna be!
With my best friends, though we're different
We feel like we still belong
And every day it makes our friendship strong
Let's go find some games to win
Everybody's joining in
'Cause we're having such a blast
Applejack: Hey, did I just come in last?
[The Rainbooms]
Doesn't matter win or lose
When we always are amused
My friends stand out in a crowd
Having fun and laughing loud!
With my best friends, we can depend
They will always follow through
It's a perfect day for fun when I spend it with you
Oh, aw aw oh, oh, oh, aw oh uh
Oh, aw aw oh, oh, oh
Taking photos with my friends
Never want this day to end
But the time is going fast
So come on and make it last
Get the band up on the stage
Doesn't matter what your age
Hear the music, now's your chance
Everybody start to dance!
With my best friends, though we're different
We feel like we still belong
And every day it makes our friendship strong
With my best friends, we can depend
They will always follow through
There's a guarantee for fun when I spend it with you

My Past is Not TodayEdit

[Sunset Shimmer]
Power
Was all I desired (I desired, all I desired)
But all that grew inside me
Was the darkness I acquired
When I began to fall
And I lost the path ahead
That's when your friendship found me
And it lifted me instead
Like a phoenix burning bright
In the sky
I'll show there's another side to me
You can't deny
I may not know what the future holds
But hear me when I say
That my past does not define me
'Cause my past is not today
Ambition
Is what I believed
Would be the only way
To set me free
But when it disappeared
And I found myself alone
That's when you came and got me
And it felt like I was home
Like a phoenix burning bright
In the sky
I'll show there's another side to me
You can't deny
I may not know what the future holds
But hear me when I say
That my past does not define me
'Cause my past is not today

Friendship Through the AgesEdit

[Twilight Sparkle]
Nothing stays the same for long
But when it changes doesn't mean it's gone
Time will always get away
As it leaves behind another day
[Fluttershy]
Things may come and things may go
Some go fast and some go slow
Few things last, that's all I know
But friendship carries on through the ages
[Rarity and Fluttershy]
Things may come and things may go
Some go fast and some go slow
Few things last, that's all I know
But friendship carries on through the ages
[Rainbow Dash]
Been around for a long time
Rocking out hard 'cause I'm in my prime
Maybe it'll change further down the line
But my friendship carries on through the ages
[Applejack]
Every single style has something
Different it can say
There's nothing wrong with being unique
And special in your own way
[Pinkie Pie]
Maybe you wanna be a pop star
Get your fifteen minutes of fame, wha, ah! Ah, oh!
That won't last forever
But friendship remains the same, ah-oh, oh!
[The Rainbooms sans Sunset Shimmer]
Things may come and things may go
Some go fast and some go slow
Few things last, that's all I know
But friendship carries on through the ages
[Rarity]
But friendship carries on
[The Rainbooms]
Things may come and things may go
Some go fast and some go slow
Few things last, that's all I know
But friendship carries on through the ages
[Rarity]
But friendship carries on
Ohhh-oh, carries on...

Life is a RunwayEdit

[Rarity]
Life is a runway (runway)
Listen, here's what it's all about
I tell you, life is a runway (runway)
Time to bring what's on the inside out
Into the light
Into the light
Life is a runway
When you see it my way
Take all the good inside
Make it beautiful
Fashion is a way to start
Showing what's in your heart
Call it superficial
I call it irrefutable
Oh-oh, oh wha-oh
Oh-oh, oh wha-oh
Oh-oh, oh wha-oh
Life is a runway
You can be the girl
That you want to be
With a little love
And some accessories (life is a runway)
Don't be scared to show you have
Personal style
Just go do your thing
You'll make everyone smile (life is a runway)
You can be the girl
That you want to be
With a little love
And some accessories (life is a runway)
Don't be scared to show you have
Personal style
Just go do your thing
You'll make everyone smile (life is a runway)
Life is a runway (runway)
I'll show you what it's all about
I tell you, life is a runway (runway)
Time to bring what's on the inside out
Into the light
Into the light
Into the light
Into the light
Into the light

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

[patrons arguing]
Female Patron: What?!
The Dazzlings: [vocalizing]
Aria Blaze: [sighs] That was barely worth the effort, Adagio. I'm tired of fast food. I need a meal.
Adagio Dazzle: The energy in this world isn't the same as in Equestria. We can only gain so much power here.
Aria Blaze: Ugh! I wish we'd never been banished to this awful place!
Adagio Dazzle: [sarcastically] Really? I love it here!
Sonata Dusk: For realsies? Because I think this place is the worst.
Aria Blaze: I think you're the worst, Sonata.
Sonata Dusk: Oh, yeah? Well, I think you're—
Adagio Dazzle: Ergh! I'll tell you one thing, being stuck here with you two isn't making this world any more [through clenched teeth] bearable.
[sonic rainboom]
Adagio Dazzle: [gasp] Did you feel that?! Do you know what that is?
Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze: I 'unno.
Adagio Dazzle: It's Equestrian magic!
Aria Blaze: But this world doesn't have Equestrian magic.
Adagio Dazzle: It does now. And we're going to use it to make everyone in this pathetic little world adore us!
[The Rainbooms]
We used to fight with each other
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
That was before we discovered
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
That when your friendship is real
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
Yeah, you just say what ya feel
And the music, yeah, the music
Gets us to the top
As we learn how the rainbow...
Rainbow Rocks!
[Applejack]
You can pick up the bass
[The Rainbooms]
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
[Rainbow Dash]
And you can play the guitar
[The Rainbooms]
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
[Pinkie Pie]
You can bang on the drums
[The Rainbooms]
(Oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh)
[Twilight Sparkle]
Or you can sing like a star
[The Rainbooms]
And the music, yeah, the music
Gets us to the top
As we learn how the rainbow...
Rainbow Rocks!
As we learn how the rainbow...
Rainbow Rocks!
[students chattering]
Sunset Shimmer: Want some help?
Apple Bloom: Uh, no thanks. We're good.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh. Okay.
Pinkie Pie: Sunset Shimmer! Over here!
[students whispering]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] I had no idea the whole school would be here.
Rarity: Quite the eye-catching advertisement, if I do say so myself.
Pinkie Pie: And it smells like cake!
Fluttershy: It does? [sniff, sniff]
Pinkie Pie: I used frosting instead of paste!
Applejack: Uh, Fluttershy, you've got a little somethin', uh...
Fluttershy: Did I get it?
Applejack: Heh, not exactly.
Principal Celestia: Good afternoon, students. I just wanted to tell you all how pleased I am that so many of you are going to participate in the first ever Canterlot High School Musical Showcase!
[students cheer]
Principal Celestia: This is a wonderful opportunity to raise money for all our after-school programs here at CHS. So keep working on those signs and posters. I think it's going to be one of the most exciting events we've had at CHS since the Fall Formal.
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh! I am never gonna live that down.
Fluttershy: You were pretty bad at the Fall Formal.
Sunset Shimmer: A demon. I turned into a raging she-demon.
Pinkie Pie: And tried to turn everyone here into teenage zombies for your own personal army!
Rarity: Oh, darling, you have us, and we've forgiven you for your past... ahem... booboos.
Applejack: To be honest, I'd say the whole experience brought everyone at Canterlot High closer than ever before!
Pinkie Pie: One, two, three!
[The Rainbooms]
There was a time we were apart
But that's behind us now
See how we've made a brand new start
And the future's lookin' up, ah-oh, ah-oh
And when you walk these halls
You feel it everywhere
Yeah, we're the Wondercolts forever, ah-oh, yeah!
We are all together
(Ah, ah, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Now it's better than ever
(Ah, ah, oh-oh-oh-oh)
You can feel it, we are back (You... can... feel... it...)
And I'm so glad that we're better
Better than ever
Whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Oh yeah, we're better than ever
Whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Rainbow Dash]
There was a time we couldn't see
Past the differences
[Applejack]
That separated you and me
And it left us on our own
[Pinkie Pie]
But now you walk these halls
And friends are everywhere
[The Rainbooms]
Yeah, we're the Wondercolts forever, ah-oh, yeah!
We are all together
(Ah, ah, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Now it's better than ever
(Ah, ah, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Now that we are back on track (Now... that... we... are...)
Yes, I'm so glad that we're better
Better than ever
Whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Oh yeah, we're better than ever
Whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Oh yeah, we're better than ever
Whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Oh yeah, we're better than ever!
Sunset Shimmer: [applauds]
Rarity: [laughs] I still can't believe that happens when we play! Ooh! I've got to look into some new accessories! Something that looks good in a longer ponytail. Ooh! Maybe some clip-on earrings for when I get those adorable pony ears.
Applejack: I just wonder why it happens. Princess Twilight took her crown back to Equestria. Shouldn't that mean she took all the magic back with her?
Rainbow Dash: Who cares why it happens? It makes my band totally awesome!
Rarity: Oh! Your band?
Rainbow Dash: Duh! It was my idea to start the Rainbooms so we could be in the showcase. Plus I'm the lead singer and guitarist.
[knock on door]
Flash Sentry: Uh, heard you outside. You guys are sounding really tight.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, we're getting there. Rarity's still coming in a little late on the second verse, and Applejack's bass solo could use a little work. They'll get it together in time for the showcase.
Flash Sentry: Uh, I don't suppose any of our friends from, uh... out of town might come? Uh, it being a special charity event and all.
Applejack: Sorry, Flash. I don't think Twilight's gonna be back at Canterlot High any time soon.
Flash Sentry: [laughs nervously] Oh, yeah. Okay. I just, you know, thought I'd ask. Uh, k-keep on rockin' it.
[thud]
Rarity: Well. [giggles] Someone is quite the smitten kitten. [to Sunset Shimmer] Oh. Sorry. I always forget you and Flash used to be an item.
Sunset Shimmer: It's okay. Flash is a great guy and all, but I never really liked-him liked him. I was just using him to become more popular. Ugh! The old me really was just awful, wasn't she?
Rarity: Mmm... horrid.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy: Mm-hmm, uhhh, etc.
Pinkie Pie: Yep!
Applejack: But the important thing is that you've turned yourself around.
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks, Applejack, but I'm not sure everyone else at CHS feels the same way.
[P.A. system beeps]
Vice Principal Luna: Sunset Shimmer, please report to the main foyer.
Sunset Shimmer: Gotta run. I volunteered to show some new students around the school. Thought it'd be good for them to get to know the new me before they heard all the stuff about the old me.
Rainbow Dash: We've still got a few minutes before lunch starts. What do you say we do "Awesome As I Wanna Be"?
Fluttershy: Um, Rainbow Dash? I was wondering if we could maybe play the song I wrote?
Rainbow Dash: We'll get to it.
Fluttershy: Oh. Okay.
Rainbow Dash: [plays chord]
Sunset Shimmer: Hi. Are you the girls I'm supposed to show around?
Adagio Dazzle: We are.
Sunset Shimmer: Canterlot High is a great school. You're really gonna love it.
Adagio Dazzle: Oh, yes, we really sense there's something... magical about this place.
Sunset Shimmer: That's the science lab. Computer lab is in there. Oh! We're having a big musical showcase this weekend! The whole school is pretty much rallying around it.
Adagio Dazzle: [gasps] A musical showcase?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sure since you're new, Principal Celestia would let you sign up if you're interested.
Aria Blaze: We have been known to sing from time to time.
Sonata Dusk: Hello? We sing, like, all the time! It's how we get people to do what we want.
Adagio Dazzle: [growls]
Sonata Dusk: Wha-What did I say?
Adagio Dazzle: What you meant to say was that being in a musical showcase sounds like a great way to meet other students.
Sonata Dusk: Ohhhh, yeah. Th-What she said I meant to say. That's what I meant. To say.
Aria Blaze: [scoffs] And what you would have said if you weren't the worst.
Sonata Dusk: You are!
Adagio Dazzle: You'll have to excuse them. They're idiots.
Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk: Hmph.
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: [nervous laugh] Those are pretty. Where did you—
Adagio Dazzle: [laughs] Sorry. These pendants mean an awful lot to us. We'd just hate for anything to happen to them.
[students chattering]
Applejack: So how was the tour?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know. I mean, these girls, they were... There was something off about them.
Pinkie Pie: Like, off like this? Or off like this? Or... Oh, oh! Like—
Rainbow Dash: Maybe we should just let her tell us.
Sunset Shimmer: That's just it. I can't put my finger on it. They just acted sort of... strange around me. Maybe someone already talked to them. Told them about what I did. [sighs] So much for making a good first impression.
Fluttershy: Uh-huh. Oh, that's probably not it.
Adagio Dazzle: This is it, girls. The moment we've been waiting for.
Sonata Dusk: Lunch?!
Adagio Dazzle: [groan] The chance to get our true Equestrian magic back.
Sonata Dusk: Oh. Right.
Adagio Dazzle: Our voices are just strong enough to make them want something so badly, they'll fight to get it.
Aria Blaze: So we're just gonna do what we always do? Stir up some trouble and then feed off the negative energy? [sarcastically] Some plan, Adagio.
Adagio Dazzle: It won't be the same as the times before! There is Equestrian magic here. Their negative energy will give us the power we need to get this entire world to do our bidding.
Sonata Dusk: But we can get lunch after though, right? It's Taco Tuesday!
Adagio Dazzle: Just follow my lead.
Aria Blaze: Or my lead.
Adagio Dazzle: My lead!
[The Dazzlings]
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ahh
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ahh
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ahh
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ahh
[Adagio Dazzle]
We heard you want to get together
We heard you want to rock this school
We've thought of something that is better
Something that changes all the rules
Why pretend we're all the same
When some of us shine brighter?
[Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk]
Shine brighter
[Adagio Dazzle]
Here's a chance to find your flame
Are you a loser or a fighter?
[The Dazzlings]
Me and you, you and me
Why don't we see who is better?
We don't have to be one and the same thing
Oh, what's so wrong with a little competition?
Are you afraid of failing the audition?
[Adagio Dazzle]
You're a star and you should know it
Yeah, you rise above the rest
It doesn't matter who you hurt
If you're just proving you're the best
[The Dazzlings]
Ah, ahh-ahh-ahhh
Battle! You wanna win it
Let's have a battle, battle of the bands
Let's have a battle, we'll go all in it
Let's have a battle, battle, battle
Battle of the bands
[The Dazzlings and students]
Battle!
"Blueberry Cake": I can beat you!
The Dazzlings and students: Battle!
"Cherry Crash": Ha! You wish!
The Dazzlings and students: Battle!
Trixie Lulamoon: I so want this!
The Dazzlings and students: Battle!
"Captain Planet": Not if I get it first!
[The Dazzlings and students]
Me and you, you and me
Why don't we see who is better?
We don't have to be one and the same thing
Oh, what's so wrong with a little competition?
[Students]
I'm going out and winning the audition
[The Dazzlings and students]
Battle! We wanna win it
Let's have a battle, battle of the bands
Let's have a battle, we'll go all in it
Let's have a battle, battle, battle
Battle of the bands!
[students arguing]
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhh. They're that kind of "off".
Sunset Shimmer: Those three are definitely in possession of some kind of dark magic. How else could you explain what happened back there?
Applejack: Don't worry, y'all. We'll let Principal Celestia know all about this and those girls will be kicked to the curb in no time. Last thing she needs is another CHS event almost ruined by some power-crazed lunatic. [to Sunset] Er, no offense.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] None taken.
Principal Celestia: Dark magic? I find that very hard to believe. Those girls came into my office earlier and were absolutely delightful.
Vice Principal Luna: Ugh! Perhaps Sunset Shimmer is just eager to make someone else out to be a bad element, so that her actions at the Fall Formal will become old news.
Sunset Shimmer: I could see why you might think that, but—
Rainbow Dash: That's not what's happening! We saw all of this go down in the cafeteria too!
Principal Celestia: Yes, but isn't your band supposed to be part of the Musical Showcase?
Rainbow Dash: Yes.
Vice Principal Luna: Perhaps you're all just worried that the Dazzlings will steal your spotlight.
Applejack: The "Dazzlings"?
Principal Celestia: It's the name of their musical group. That's why they came by my office earlier – to sign up for the Showcase. Even sang a little song to Vice Principal Luna and I.
Applejack: They did?
Principal Celestia: Yes. And we think having a Battle of the Bands instead is a marvelous idea.
Fluttershy: I can't believe they got to Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna too.
Rainbow Dash: They've gotten to everybody.
Pinkie Pie: Not everybody!
Applejack: Pinkie Pie's right. We were there when the Dazzlings were singin' and we weren't affected. It was like we were protected somehow.
Rainbow Dash: So let's take them down! It's not like we haven't tangled with dark magic before and totally whooped its sorry butt! Uh, no offense.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] None taken. Again.
Fluttershy: But that was when Twilight was here. There may be some kind of magic inside us, but it only comes out when we play music. I sure don't know how to use it to... whoop anybody's butt.
Rarity: [sighs] If only we could get a message to Twilight. Maybe she could tell us how to break the spell the Dazzlings have cast on our friends.
Rainbow Dash: Well, that's not gonna happen. The portal's closed.
Rarity: [gasps] [gasps again]
Rainbow Dash: And I get the feeling they don't exactly have cell phones where she's from.
Sunset Shimmer: I may have an idea how we can get in touch with Princess Twilight!
[rustling]
Sunset Shimmer: When I was Princess Celestia's student back in Equestria, she gave me this. Even after I abandoned my studies, I held onto it. Deep down, I guess I knew I was making a big mistake, and I wanted to still have a way to reach out to her. Maybe it still works.
Rarity: That's a book, darling. What do you mean, "maybe still works"?
Sunset Shimmer: It used to be that if I wrote something here, it would appear in the pages of a book back in Princess Celestia's library. I get a message to her, then she can get a message to Princess Twilight.
Rainbow Dash: So what are you waiting for? Get to writing!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Been a long time since I've written these words. "Dear Princess Celestia..."
Delivery Pony: Excuse me, Princess. Where do you want all these books from Princess Celestia?
Twilight Sparkle: The library. Third door on the left.
Delivery Pony: Even this one that's glowin' and vibratin'?
[buzzing]
[pages flipping]
Fluttershy: What is it, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: It looks like a message to Princess Celestia from my friends at Canterlot High.
Rarity: How is that even possible?
Twilight Sparkle: I have no idea, but it... sounds like they need my help.
Twilight Sparkle: The way Sunset Shimmer described them, I think these new girls sound an awful lot like... the sirens.
Pinkie Pie: Not the sirens! [whispering loudly to Fluttershy] I don't actually know what that is!
Twilight Sparkle: The sirens were three beautiful but dangerous creatures who had the power to charm ponies with their music. But to maintain this power, they had to feed on the negativity and distrust of others. The more of this negative energy they consumed, the stronger their voices became, and the farther they could spread their dark magic.
Fluttershy: I don't think I like this story very much.
Twilight Sparkle: If the sirens had their way, they would have divided and conquered all of Equestria. But a certain Star Swirl the Bearded wasn't having it. Rumor has it he found a way to banish them to another world – one where he believed their magic power would be lost. That world must have been the one where my Canterlot High friends live.
Applejack: But Star Swirl must have sent them there ages ago. How come they're just surfacin' now?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. But if my hunch is right and it is the sirens who have come to Canterlot High, this spell they've cast is just the beginning. My friends need me. I have to get back to them.
Rainbow Dash: I hate to burst your bubble, Twilight, but the connection between their world and Equestria will still be totally cut off for a super long time.
Pinkie Pie: Okay, first of all, if there was bubble-blowing going on, why wasn't I told about it?! And secondly, if the connection is totally cut off, how was Sunset Shimmer able to get a message to Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Pinkie, you're a genius!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I get that a lot. [to Rainbow Dash] Now about those bubbles...
[handiwork noises]
Twilight Sparkle: ...And the interval between the two points is defined as the square root of the sum of the squares of the separation between the points along three spatial dimensions.
Spike: Say what now?
Pinkie Pie: Duh! She's gonna take the magic in here and put it in there. That'll make the portal open up so that whenever she wants to, she can go from here to there. There to here. Here to there. Here there! Here there! Here—
Applejack: We get the idea!
Twilight Sparkle: Now to see if it actually works.
[magic noises]
Main cast: Ooooh...
[electricity crackling]
Main cast: Ahhhhh...
Applejack: Don't suppose we could join you this time around?
Twilight Sparkle: Better not. It could make things pretty confusing if Canterlot High all of a sudden had two of all of you.
Rest of main cast: [agreeing]
Spike: But I still get to go, right? There isn't another one of me at Canterlot High. And you never know if you might need your trusty assistant.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm.
Spike: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: We won't be gone long.
Fluttershy:
Oh, you be careful, Twilight.
Rainbow Dash:
Take care!
Applejack:
Y'all be safe now.
Rarity: And don't forget to dress well.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Ready, Spike?
Spike: [cracks knuckles] [blows] [squeaks claws] Ready!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] I'm starting to think she's not coming.
Sunset Shimmer, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Oof. I'm back.
Rest of main cast: [greeting Twilight]
Twilight Sparkle: And I've got some bad news about those new girls.
Rest of main cast: [worried reaction]
Rarity: Oh, I do hate that you had to return at a time of crisis. There's so much catching up to do!
Applejack: For starters, a certain blue-haired guitar player was just askin' about you.
Twilight Sparkle: [excitedly] Flash Sentry was asking about me?! [clears throat] Isn't that nice? [sips milkshake]
Rarity: Perhaps you would give us just the slightest bit of gossip from your world?
Spike: She's got an official title now. [imitates fanfare] The Princess of Friendship!
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, that's really impressive. Guess you really were Princess Celestia's prized pupil.
Spike: She's even got her own castle!
Rarity: A castle?! You have your own castle?!? Eh... [clears throat] Ooh, uh, lovely.
Twilight Sparkle: What's new here? I mean, besides your school becoming the target of dangerous magical creatures from Equestria?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, so, that isn't exactly the only strange thing that's happened since you left. Pretty sweet, huh? It happens to all of us when we play.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. My crown was returned to Equestria, but some of its magic must have remained here at Canterlot High. Now that we're all back together, we can use that magic on the sirens. Just like when we were able to use it on Sunset Shimmer when she turned into that horrifyingly awful winged monster! No offense.
Sunset Shimmer: [disgruntled] None taken. Heh. I'm used to it.
Rainbow Dash: They'll never even know what hit 'em! [karate yells]
Applejack: We've got nothin' to worry about now that Twilight's back.
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm pretty sure I could find something to worry about. But it won't be the sirens.
Twilight Sparkle: The sooner we do this, the better. Any idea where the Dazzlings might be?
Pinkie Pie: [sips milkshake] [sighs] There's a big party tonight for all the bands who signed up to be in the showcase! That would include the Dazzlings.
Twilight Sparkle: Looks like we've got a party to crash.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
[students arguing]
Flash Sentry: [sighs] I'm gonna get more punch!
[crash!]
Flash Sentry: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Eh, bumped, into, always, doing?
Flash Sentry: What are you doing here? You came back for the big competition, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Something like that.
Flash Sentry: Huh. Not that there's gonna be any real competition. No one here wants this as bad as my band does!
Twilight Sparkle: Can you excuse me for just a minute?
[students' arguing becomes louder]
Adagio Dazzle: [mock surprise] Oh, no! No one's mingling! It's like there's some kind of underlying tension that could bubble to the surface at any minute!
Sonata Dusk: It's the fruit punch, isn't it? I knew I used too much grape juice!
Adagio Dazzle: It's not the fruit punch! It's us!
Aria Blaze: But the punch is awful, too.
Sonata Dusk: What do you know about good fruit punch?
Aria Blaze: More than you!
Sonata Dusk: Do not!
Aria Blaze: Do too!
Adagio Dazzle: This is just the kickoff party, girls. Imagine what a tizzy they'll be in by the time the Battle of the Bands starts.
Twilight Sparkle: There isn't going to be a Battle of the Bands! We're gonna make sure of that! Alright, girls, let's do this! Friendship is magic!
[awkward silence]
[someone coughs]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, weren't there rainbows and lasers and stuff last time?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. We're all together again. Why isn't this working?
Spike: You, uh... really need to go ahead and do that whole "magic of friendship" thing now.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm trying, Spike. I thought the six of us standing together against the sirens would bring out the magic we needed to defeat them. That's what happened before.
Adagio Dazzle: Talk about throwing down the gauntlet! This group is obviously serious about winning! A little cocky though, aren't they? Claiming there won't really be a battle. Seems they think they've already got this thing all locked up.
Trixie Lulamoon: Not if the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie has anything to do with it!
Flash Sentry: Whatever, Trixie! We're the best band at CHS!
Apple Bloom: No! The Crusaders are gonna win!
[students arguing even louder]
Adagio Dazzle: I think we may have found what we're looking for. Or rather, it found us.
Aria Blaze: [slaps herself]
Adagio Dazzle: Magic!! Don't you see?! Everyone else has fallen under our spell. But not these girls. These girls are special.
Twilight Sparkle: It doesn't make any sense. I should have been able to create the spark that would help us break their spell. That's how it worked before.
Sunset Shimmer: But to defeat me, you drew magic from the crown I was wearing. The sirens' magic comes from their music. So maybe you have to use the same kind of magic to defeat them. Or... maybe not.
Twilight Sparkle: No. I think you're onto something.
Sunset Shimmer: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: It's when you play music that you transform now, right?
Applejack: Yup. Ears, tails, the whole shebang.
Twilight Sparkle: So maybe the way to use that magic to defeat the sirens is by playing a musical counter-spell!
Fluttershy: You mean like a song?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh. And in order to free everyone who's been exposed to the sirens' spell, we'll need them all to hear it.
Rest of main cast: Hmmm...
Rarity: [gasps] The band competition! That's the next time we can be certain everyone will be in the same place at the same time.
Applejack: Guess the Rainbooms are the band to beat.
Rarity: And I believe you, Twilight, just became the Rainbooms' newest member.
Rest of main cast: [laughing and cheering]
Pinkie Pie: So what do you wanna play? Triangle? [ding] Sousaphone? [fwomp!] Theremin? [plays theremin] Soooo magical.
Twilight Sparkle: I might take a little too long to learn how to play something with these. I'll just sing.
Rainbow Dash: Like, as in, lead singer? Cuz that's usually my gig. This being my band and all.
Applejack: It's our band! And, of course, as lead singer. She's the one with the magical know-how to help us pull this thing off.
Rainbow Dash: Okay, yeah, that's cool. I'll just use this as a chance to hone my already insanely good lead guitar skills.
Twilight Sparkle: It's only temporary. And we don't have to win the Battle of the Bands. We just have to perform during the first round of the competition.
Rainbow Dash: Let's get to learning that musical counter-spell!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that's just it. I don't know any.
Rest of main cast: Awww...
Twilight Sparkle: But I'm sure I could figure out how to write one.
Spike: Totally! Twilight can write a spell like it's nobody's business. That's pretty much how she got to become a princess in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: Technically, I helped finish a spell. And there was a little more to it than that, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, whatever.
Twilight Sparkle: I've got this. [to Spike] C'mon!
Applejack: Where're you goin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, last time we were here, Spike and I spent the night in the library.
Pinkie Pie: Are you crazy?! We're besties now! Slumber party at my house!
[video game noises]
Pinkie Pie: Status update: "Okie-dokie-lokie."
[smartphone camera snaps]
[video game noises continue]
Rainbow Dash: [slams console]
Applejack: Hey! I was about to beat you!
Rainbow Dash: I doubt it. So, Twilight, how is that counter-spell comin'?
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Oh, uh, good. Great. Thanks for letting me use your notebook, Fluttershy. I really like the song you wrote for the Rainbooms.
Fluttershy: Thanks. [sighs] Hopefully one day, we'll get a chance to play it.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Applejack: Hey!
Rarity: Twilight, I think I speak for all of us when I say I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't come back to help us.
Rest of main cast: Uh-huh.
Applejack: Darn tootin'.
[doorbell rings]
Pinkie Pie: Pizza's here!
[zip!]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Don't you want any pizza?
[drawer opens]
[drawer closes]
Rest of main cast: [snoring]
[drawer opens]
Twilight Sparkle: [spits] No. That's not gonna work.
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, Twilight. You're up late.
Twilight Sparkle: Just looking over the counter-spell. We only get one shot at this. It has to be perfect.
Sunset Shimmer: We really are lucky you're here.
Twilight Sparkle: That's what everyone keeps telling me.
Sunset Shimmer: Who could possibly need this much whipped cream? Must be nice to have everyone always looking to you for answers to their problems... instead of waiting for you to cause a problem.
Twilight Sparkle: Just because everyone expects something from you doesn't mean it's guaranteed to happen.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, that doesn't stop them from expecting it.
Twilight Sparkle: Which only makes things harder because the last thing you want to do is...
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: ...let everybody down.
Sunset Shimmer: Waaah!
Maud: Boulder was hungry.
Sunset Shimmer: I still can't get over the fact that she's related to Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle: You and me both!
Sunset Shimmer: [yawns] I better get some sleep. Good luck with the counter-spell. Not that you'll need it. This must be nothing compared with the stuff you're expected to deal with as a princess in Equestria.
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer? ...Never mind. It's not important. No, I have to be able to do this. I have to.


[Twilight Sparkle]
[singing slightly off-key]
Hey, hey, listen
[feedback]
We've got a message for you
We're not all alike
But our friendship is true
Yeah, we're really different
But we still get along
So hey, hey, listen to our song
You may think you're in control
But we're here to prove you wrong
With our friendship and our music
With the power of our song
Gonna stomp our feet, clap our hands
With the magic of friendship
Gonna stop your evil plan
Spike: Eh, that sounded... way better than the last... five times you've played it. Heh heh.
Big McIntosh: Nnope.
Spike: [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: I think it's pretty obvious what's going wrong with this counter-spell.
Applejack: You're turnin' what should be the chorus into a five-minute guitar solo?
Rainbow Dash: I have to pick up the slack somehow! Are you guys even trying?!
Fluttershy: I'm trying.
Twilight Sparkle: It's fine. [nervous laugh] It'll be fine. One more time from the top!
Rarity: Or, perhaps we could take a short break, try on some of the wardrobe choices I've put together? I'm particularly fond of this one. Eh, of course we could always go with something a bit more modern.
Applejack: We're tryin' to save our school here. Enough with the costumes!
Rarity: [robotic voice] Oh, you can never have enough costumes!
Pinkie Pie: She just wants to make things fun! Isn't that what being in a band supposed to be? [plays rimshot angrily]
Sunset Shimmer: You don't have time for any of this! You're supposed to check in at the Battle of the Bands in fifteen minutes!
Main cast: [gasps] Oh, no!
Twilight Sparkle: What? But it's not ready! If we play our counter-spell in the first round and it doesn't work, the sirens will know what we're up to and make sure we don't get a chance to play it again!
[screeeeeech!]
Applejack: Then we'll have to buy ourselves some time so you can keep workin' on it!
Rarity: But how do you propose we do that?
Rainbow Dash: We compete in the Battle of the Bands for real! I take over lead vocals again and we stay alive until the finals! We unleash the counter-spell then! [to Twilight] You'll have figured it out by finals, right?
Spike: Of course she will. Twilight Sparkle's never met a problem she couldn't solve. Right, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [not so confidently] Right.
Rainbow Dash: Then let's go win us a Battle of the Bands!
Principal Celestia: Welcome to the first ever Canterlot High School Battle of the Bands. I believe I speak for everyone when I say it is by far the greatest thing we have ever done here at this school!
[students cheering]
Principal Celestia: We are so glad our three newest students encouraged us to turn this event into something exciting!
Vice Principal Luna: But, as this is now a competition, we can only choose one winner. Who is it going to be?
[students arguing]
Male Student: You're the worst thing to happen!
Adagio Dazzle: You feel that, girls? Our true power is being restored.
Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk: [giggling]
Adagio Dazzle: And that's before we've tapped into the strongest magic here.
Aria Blaze: But the Rainblossoms, or whatever they're called, aren't under our spell. How exactly are we supposed to get to their magic?
Adagio Dazzle: The Rainbooms are just as capable of falling apart as anyone else. They just need a little... push in the wrong direction. I have a feeling everyone here is going to be lining up to give them a shove.
[Snips]
[beatboxing poorly]
[Snails]
Aw, yeah! Snips and Snails indahouse, yo!
[Snips]
They call me MC Snips and that ain't no lie
My favorite food is like pumpkin pie
[Snails]
I'm DJ Snazzy Snails, I like whales
When I go to the beach, I always bring my pails
[Snips]
[beatboxing poorly]
Everybody knows my favorite color is orange
My rhymes are so fly, they're better than... um...
[Snails]
Than an orange, yo!
[Snips]
Yeah!
[Snails]
Yeah!
[Snips]
Represent!
[Snips and Snails]
[beatboxing and freestyling poorly]
[Snips]
What do we... What do we do now?
[Snails]
Get off the stage, I'd like to leave right now
[Snips and Snails]
[beatboxing and freestyling poorly]
[Snips]
Bam! That just happened!
[Snails]
Aw, yeah! We out!
[Snips]
Snips and Snails outta here!
[microphone feedback]
Principal Celestia: Please do not drop the microphones.
Snips: Yeah! Bam!
Snails: [laughing]
Snips: In your face, Rainbooms!
Applejack: Least we know one group who won't stand in the way of us gettin' to the finals.
Rainbow Dash: Let's get ready to rock!
Pinkie Pie: Wait! Where's Rarity?
Rarity: Oh! Here! I'm here! [panting]
[metal fringes jangling]
Rarity: We will be performing in front of an audience. I'm not going to wear something fabulous? Hmph.
Applejack: Guh...
[students chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: Remember, we have to be good enough to make it through but not so good we let the sirens see the magic within us. They could realize we plan to use it against them.
Rainbow Dash: Got it! Be cool enough to win, but not so cool that we end up showing off the whole ears and tails and rainbows thing. Sooo... about twenty percent less cool.
Pinkie Pie: One! Two!
[The Rainbooms]
We've just got the day to get ready
And there's only so much time to lose
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party
So let's think of something fun to do
We don't know (we don't know) what's gonna happen
We just know (we just know) it's gonna feel right
All our friends are here
And it's time to ignite the lights!
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
[Twilight Sparkle]
So what you didn't get it right the first time
Apple Bloom: Boring!
[Pinkie Pie]
Laugh it off, no one said it is a crime
[Rarity]
Do your thing, you know you're an original
[Applejack]
Your ideas are so funny that they're criminal
[The Rainbooms]
Ohhh-ahh!
Twilight Sparkle: [coughing]
[The Rainbooms]
We've just got the day to get ready
And there's only so much time to lose
Because tonight, yeah, we're here to party
So let's think of something fun to do
Snips and Snails: [laughing]
Snips: Awesome.
[The Rainbooms]
We don't know (we don't know) what's gonna happen
We just know (we just know) it's gonna feel right
All our friends are here
And it's time to ignite the lights!
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Rarity: [gasps] [crying]
[The Rainbooms]
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight
Shake your tail, shake your tail
Shake your tail 'cause we're here to have a party tonight!
Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna: [applauding]
Rarity: Ruined! Absolutely ruined!
Applejack: Rarity, were you tryin' to make us lose out there?!
Rarity: Wh- Oh! This was not my fault! This was an act of sabotage!
Applejack: Yeah, well, whoever did this couldn't have done this if you didn't insist on dressin' like... like... this! We need to sound good! Is there some reason that concept seems to escape you?
Rainbow Dash: And what was with the confetti, Pinkie Pie? How am I supposed to shred if there's paper stuck in my frets?!
Fluttershy: It was pretty distracting...
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Says the girl who was running from a light the whole time! A light!
Sunset Shimmer: You still sounded much better than most of the other bands. I'm sure you'll make it to the next round. But it won't matter if you don't have that counter-spell ready. You all find a place to practice where the sirens can't hear you. I'll keep an eye on things around here.
Derpy: [playing musical saw]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think we should use a classroom. [nervous chuckle] We really need to stop bumping into each other like this.
Flash Sentry: [to bandmates] Uh, you guys hear something?
"Brawly Beats": Uhh-uhh.
"Ringo": Uh, nope.
Twilight Sparkle: I said, we have to stop—
Flash Sentry: There it is again. So annoying.
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you acting like this? I thought we were friends.
Flash Sentry: Yeah, and then you decide to come back here just so you can beat me in the Battle of the Bands. I want this, Twilight, and you're trying to take it from me! Some friend.
Twilight Sparkle: That's not why—
Applejack: Come on, Twilight. We've got things to do.
Flash Sentry: You really think you're gonna help them?! Ha! I bet you have no idea what you're even doing!
Adagio Dazzle: [chuckling] Tears already? This is only the first round.
Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk: [laughing]
Principal Celestia: The next band to take the stage will be Trixie and the Illusions.
Adagio Dazzle: Better head back. We're supposed to go on after Trixie.
Sunset Shimmer: You're never gonna get away with this.
Adagio Dazzle: Why? Because you didn't? Oh, we know all about you, Sunset Shimmer. You've got quite the reputation at Canterlot High.
Sunset Shimmer: I've changed! I'm in a much better place now!
Aria Blaze: Waiting in the wings while your friends have all the fun?
Adagio Dazzle: Oh, yes, you girls are so tight. And yet... they didn't ask you to be in the band.
Aria Blaze: Probably afraid no one would want to see them play if she was in the group.
Sonata Dusk: Too bad! So sad!
Adagio Dazzle: If it's any consolation, no one is going to remember you at all by the time we're done.
Adagio Dazzle: Remember, girls. We want to save the good stuff for when our full power has been restored.
[The Dazzlings]
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
You didn't know that you fell
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Adagio Dazzle]
Now that you're under our spell
Blindsided by the beat
Clapping your hands, stomping your feet
You didn't know that you fell
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh
[Adagio Dazzle]
Now you've fallen under our spell
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
[The Dazzlings]
We've got the music, makes you move it
Got the song that makes you lose it
We say "jump", you say "how high?"
Put your hands up to the sky
We've got the music, makes you move it
Got the song that makes you lose it
We say "jump", you say "how high?"
Put your hands up to the sky
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
You didn't know that you fell
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Now that you're under our spell
[Adagio Dazzle]
Listen to the sound of my voice
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh
[Adagio Dazzle]
Soon you'll find you don't have a choice
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh
[Adagio Dazzle]
Captured in the web of my song
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh
[Adagio Dazzle]
Soon you'll all be singing along
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Oh, whoa, oh
[The Dazzlings]
We've got the music, makes you move it
Got the song that makes you lose it
We say "jump", you say "how high?"
Put your hands up to the sky
We've got the music, makes you move it
Got the song that makes you lose it
We say "jump", you say "how high?"
Put your hands up to the sky
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
You didn't know that you fell
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Now that you're under our spell
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
You didn't know that you fell
Oh-whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
Now that you're under our
[Adagio Dazzle]
Spell
[maniacal laughter]
Sunset Shimmer: This is it! Last round and you're in the finals! Unless you think the counter-spell is ready to be played now.
Applejack: Don't worry, Twilight. Finals aren't until tonight. We'll get in a little more practice before we're supposed to hit the stage. We won't let you down!
Rest of main cast: ["Mm-hmm!", "Yeah!", etc.]
Twilight Sparkle: You won't let me down...
Fluttershy: Um, I was just wondering. We haven't played any of my songs yet, and...
Rainbow Dash: It's the semifinals. We gotta do "Awesome As I Wanna Be".
Fluttershy: Don't know why I even asked...
[Trixie Lulamoon]
...I got tricks up my sleeve
See me dominate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat!
Crowd: [cheering]
Principal Celestia: [laughing] Fantastic!
Trixie Lulamoon: Hmph. You're never gonna top that performance, "Rain-goons". You shouldn't be allowed to when you have such a big advantage over the rest of us.
Rainbow Dash: My superior guitar playing and off-the-charts awesome singing voice?
Trixie Lulamoon: Oh, don't be ridiculous. I mean her! If you were really all that, Rainbow Dash, you wouldn't have needed to bring in some magical ringer to have half a chance. Everyone's talking about it.
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Puh-leeze! I could win this thing as a solo act and everybody knows it!
Trixie Lulamoon: [scoffs] Sure you could.
[poof]
Main cast: [coughing]
Pinkie Pie: She's gone! [pause] Oh, wait. There she is.
[peeyow!]
Principal Celestia: Next up, the Rainbooms.
Spike: Knock 'em dead, Rainbooms!
Sunset Shimmer: I'll be here... just... watching.
[The Rainbooms]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
Awesome as I wanna be
[The Rainbooms]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
Awesome as I wanna be
First you see me riding on a sonic boom
Got my guitar shreddin' up my latest tune
There is nothin' you can do to beat me
I'm so good that you can't defeat me
[Rainbow Dash and the Rainbooms]
Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution
Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be
(Yeah!) I'm awesome, take caution
Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be
[The Rainbooms]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
[instruments clattering]
[music stops]
Fluttershy: [squeals]
Flash Sentry: Now that's the bad girl we love to hate!
Crowd: [jeering]
Octavia Melody: I knew she was still trouble!
Male student: The real Sunset Shimmer is back!
Sunset Shimmer: No. It isn't like that.
Rainbow Dash: What was that?!
Sunset Shimmer: You were showing them your magic. I-I didn't know what else to do.
Rarity: Ugh. Close the curtains? Unplug her amp? Give us a chance to deal with the situation?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sorry, I just wanted to help.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well, you didn't.
Applejack: None of this would've happened if you weren't tryin' to show off – as usual.
Trixie Lulamoon: Good show, "Rain-brooms". I especially liked the part where Sunset Shimmer, in a fit of jealous rage, knocked out Rainbow Dash mid-guitar solo!
Sunset Shimmer: It wasn't a fit of jealous rage!
Trixie Lulamoon: If you say so. Ooh! Looks like they've already decided who'll be moving on to the finals! I'm guessing it wasn't too difficult a decision.
[door opens]
The Dazzlings: [vocalizing]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
Rarity: What can we do? There isn't gonna be another opportunity for us to play. And I had the most gorgeous outfit for the finals!
Applejack: Yup, 'cause that's the real tragedy here, Rarity – that you won't get to play dress-up!
Rarity: You know perfectly well that is not what I meant!
Rainbow Dash: You guys wanna keep it down? They're about to announce who's moving on.
Fluttershy: Who are you kidding? You know it isn't gonna be us.
Principal Celestia: The band that will be joining the Dazzlings in tonight's finals... The Rainbooms!
Trixie Lulamoon: What?!
Main cast: Huh?
Pinkie Pie: Did they just say, "the Rainbooms"?!
Trixie Lulamoon: This isn't over!
Principal Celestia: Congratulations, girls. You deserve it.
Pinkie Pie: Seriously?! We didn't even finish our—!
Adagio Dazzle: See you at tonight's big show, Rainbooms. We are really looking forward to it.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, well... not as much as we are!
Crowd: [jeering]
Photo Finish: Zis never should haf been you, Rainbooms!
Crowd: [jeering]
Trixie Lulamoon: This is a travesty! A travesty!
Adagio Dazzle: It really is! The Rainbooms don't deserve to be in the finals. Not when your band was so much better in the semis.
Aria Blaze: And wanted it so much more.
Adagio Dazzle: Alas, this is the way it's going to be. Dazzlings vs. Rainbooms.
Sonata Dusk: Unless, of course, the Rainbooms don't manage to make it to their set or held up for some reason.
Trixie Lulamoon: Hmm... [sinister chuckling]
Rainbow Dash: Check, one, two. Testing, testing... [taps microphone] Testing...!
[voice echoes]
[microphone feedback]
Fluttershy: This doesn't make any sense. We were awful. Doesn't anybody else think it's strange that we're the ones that made it to the finals?
Trixie Lulamoon: Very strange.
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing here, Trixie? Pretty sure the losers are supposed to be up there in the cheap seats.
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful Trixie is the most talented girl at Canterlot High. It is I who deserves to be in the finals. And I will not... [snaps fingers] ...be denied!
[trap door clanks open]
Rainbooms and Sunset Shimmer: [screams] [grunts]
Trixie Lulamoon: [evil laughter] See you never!
[trap door slams shut]
Adagio Dazzle: [chuckle] Told you someone would give them a shove.
Sonata Dusk: She didn't shove them. She pulled a lever.
Aria Blaze: [groans] Go back to sleep, Sonata.
[Trixie Lulamoon]
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
And I captivate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat
[The Illusions]
Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh
[Trixie Lulamoon]
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
See me dominate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat
[The Illusions]
Oh, whoa, oh oh oh oh
["Tricks Up My Sleeve" continues muffled]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Applejack: Give it up, Rainbow Dash. You've been tryin' at this for hours. It's not gonna open.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe it doesn't even matter that we're trapped down here. I don't think the counter-spell would have worked anyway.
Applejack: Of course it would have worked, Twilight. Assumin' a certain band member didn't try to hog the spotlight the whole time we were tryin' to play it!
Rainbow Dash: Hey! If you wanna tell Twilight she's getting a little too caught up trying to be the new leader of this band, you don't have to be all cryptic about it.
Rarity: She was talking about you, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Me?! I'm just trying to make sure my band rocks as hard as it needs to!
Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: OUR BAND!!
Twilight Sparkle: But why wasn't it working? I should know what to do. How could I not know what to do? How could I have failed like this?
Applejack: It might've been your idea to start a band, but it's not just your band, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I'm the one who writes all the songs!
Fluttershy: I write songs! You just never let us play any of them!
Rarity: I had the most perfect outfits for us to wear!
Applejack: Again with the costumes! No one cares what we're wearin'!
Rarity: I care, Applejack! So sorry if I enjoy trying to make a creative contribution to the band!
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Anybody here remember fun?! I'll give you a hint: It's the exact opposite of being in the Rainbooms!
Rainbow Dash: I wish I never asked any of you to be in my band!
Rarity: I wish I'd never agreed to be in it!!!!
Fluttershy and Applejack: Me neither!
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie: [arguing]
[Trixie Lulamoon]
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
See me dominate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat!
[fireworks]
[crowd cheering]
Trixie Lulamoon: Try to top that!
Adagio Dazzle: [sarcastically] Oh, gosh! I don't know if we can!
The Dazzlings: [laughing]
[The Dazzlings]
Ahh, ah-ah, ahh
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie: [arguing]
Sunset Shimmer: Stop! You have to stop! This is what they've been after all along! They're feeding off of the magic inside you!
Applejack: How can they be using our magic? It's the magic of friendship.
Sunset Shimmer: Ever since you started this band, you've been letting little things get to you. I never said anything 'cause I didn't feel like it was my place. Not when I was so new to this whole "friendship" thing. I still have a lot to learn. But I do know that if you don't work out even the smallest problems right at the start, the magic of friendship can be turned into something else.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe all this tension was happening right under my nose and I didn't realize it. I'm supposed to be the one with all the answers. And all I've done since I got here is let you down.
Sunset Shimmer: I don't think anyone is supposed to have all the answers. But you can count on your friends to help you find them.
Twilight Sparkle: I think you already have. C'mon! We need to get out of here!
[slamming on door]
[knocking on door]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Spike: Sorry I took so long. I had to find somebody who wasn't under the sirens' spell to help me get you out.
Twilight Sparkle: Why isn't she under their spell?
Spike: Never takes off her headphones.
Applejack: Come on, y'all! Time to prove we've still got the magic of friendship inside us!
Twilight Sparkle: And there's only one way to do it!
Pinkie Pie: We're getting the band back together?
Rainbow Dash: We're getting our band back together!
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Rarity: Ooh, which version of the counter-spell are we going to play?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think it matters what song we play, as long as we play it together as friends.
Rainbow Dash: I know just the song. Fluttershy's written a really great one.
Fluttershy: [squee]
Applejack: We're about to save the world here. Personally, I think we should do it in style. Rarity?
Rarity: I thought you'd never ask!
[The Dazzlings]
Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
[Adagio Dazzle]
Welcome to the show
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah
[Adagio Dazzle]
We're here to let you know
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
[Adagio Dazzle]
Our time is now
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah
[The Dazzlings]
Your time is running out
[Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze]
Ah, ah, ah
[The Dazzlings]
Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah...
Rainbow Dash: How are we supposed to play over them from up here?
[car horn honks]
The Rainbooms: [cheer]
Pinkie Pie: Awesome!
Rainbow Dash: Sweet!
[The Dazzlings]
Feel the wave of sound
As it crashes down
You can't turn away
We'll make you wanna sta-a-a-ay
We will be adored
Tell us that you want us
We won't be ignored
It's time for our reward
Now you need us
Come and heed us
Nothing can stop us now
[The Rainbooms]
Oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh
I've got the music in me
Oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Twilight Sparkle]
Don't need to hear a crowd
Cheering out my name
I didn't come here seeking
Infamy or fame
[The Rainbooms]
The one and only thing
That I am here to bring
Is music, is the music
Is the music in my soul
Gonna break out (Out!)
Set myself free, yeah
Let it all go (Go!)
Just let it be, yeah
Find the music in your heart
Let the music make you start
To set yourself apart
Adagio Dazzle: So the Rainbooms want to turn this into a real Battle of the Bands? Then let's battle!
[The Dazzlings]
What we have in store (ah-ah)
All we want and more (ah-ah)
We will break on through (ah-ah)
Now it's time to finish you!
[instrumental]
Twilight Sparkle: [vocalizing]
Sirens: [vocalizing]
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer, we need you!
[drum solo]
[Sunset Shimmer]
You're never gonna bring me down
You're never gonna break this part of me
My friends are here to bring me 'round
Not singing just for popularity
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
We're here to let you know
That we won't let it go
[The Rainbooms]
Our music is a bomb and it's about to blow
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
And you can try to fight
But we have got the light of
[The Rainbooms]
Friendship on our side!
Got the music in our hearts
We're here to blow this thing apart
And together, we will never
Be afraid of the dark
Here to sing our song out loud
Get you dancing with the crowd
As the music of our friendship
Survives, survives!
[All sans Dazzlings]
Got the music in our hearts
We're here to blow this thing apart
And together, we will never
Be afraid of the dark
Here to sing our song out loud
Get you dancing with the crowd
As the music of our friendship
Survives, survives, survives!
[The Dazzlings]
[singing off-key]
We will be adored
Tell us that you want us
We won't be ignored
It's time for our reward...
Crowd: [booing]
Sunset Shimmer: Guess that explains why these were so special to them.
Twilight Sparkle: Without those pendants and the magic you brought here from Equestria, they're just three harmless teenage girls.
Flash Sentry: Rainbooms rule! That was amazing!
Sunset Shimmer and Main cast sans Twilight: [giggling]
Trixie Lulamoon: You may have vanquished the Dazzlings, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
[poof]
Main cast, Sunset Shimmer, and Flash Sentry: [coughing]
Pinkie Pie: She's gone! [pause] Oh, wait. There she is.
[thud]
Trixie Lulamoon: Trixie's okay!
Rainbow Dash: You know, Twilight is going back to Equestria soon. The Rainbooms could really use someone to help Fluttershy on backup vocals.
Sunset Shimmer: [plays guitar riff] I also play guitar.
Rainbow Dash: We'll see.
Applejack: Sure wish you could stay longer.
Twilight Sparkle: Me too. But I have responsibilities in Equestria that I have to get back to. Its citizens need me. But now I can go through the portal whenever I need to. This isn't goodbye. It's just goodbye 'til next time. Ready?
Spike: Ready!
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight,
Missing you already, and I hope you'll be back soon. Things are definitely looking up for me here at Canterlot High. But I know I still have a lot to learn about friendship. Hope you don't mind if I write to you for advice when I need it.
Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.
Rainbow Dash: You ready or what?
Sunset Shimmer: Ready!
Pinkie Pie: One! Two! Three! Four!
[credits]
[Applejack]
Once upon a time
You came into my world and made the stars align
[Rarity]
Now I can see the signs
You pick me up when I get down so I can shine
[The Rainbooms]
Shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
[Rainbow Dash]
Friends, you are in my life
And you can count on me to be there by your side
[Sunset Shimmer]
And when the music comes alive
We sing our songs to lift us up so we can shine
[The Rainbooms]
And the sound that we hear in our hearts
Makes a crescendo
And the light that ignites in the dark
It makes us all glow
And shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows
Together we stand
As the rain begins to fall
And holdin' our heads up high
As the sun shines through it all
[The cast]
And the sound that we hear in our hearts
Makes a crescendo
And the light that ignites in the dark
It makes us all glow
And shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows
Shine like rainbows
We shine like rainbows
[The Rainbooms]
We shine like rainbows
Sci-Twi: No doubt about it, Spike. There's definitely something strange going on at that school...
Puppy Spike: [barks]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Friendship Games/Animated shorts

The Science of MagicEdit

The Rainbooms: [conversing] Huh?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I thought we were rehearsing.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, you are. Sort of. Back when I was Princess Celestia's student, I learned best by going out into the field and actually doing something. Studying ancient books is fine for some people, but I like to solve magical mysteries by rolling up my sleeves and getting my hooves... uh, hands dirty.
[glove snaps]
Applejack: I can relate to workin' hard outdoors, but what the hay does that have to do with us playin' music?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm trying to figure out how magic works here. Why you grow ears, tails, and wings when you pony up and what your instruments have to do with it.
Fluttershy: Um, are you sure we need to figure it out?
Sunset Shimmer: It'll be fun. Just start playing. You won't even know I'm here.
[Background singers]
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah, bah, bup, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah, bah, bup, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Applejack: [chomps apple]
[Background singers]
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah, bah, bup, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah, bah, bup, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
[drum solo]
[Background singers]
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah, bah, bup, bah
Bah, bah, bah-da, bah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
[electricity crackle]
Sunset Shimmer: Finally, after all this testing, I've come to a definitive conclusion! [electricity crackles] [coughs] I have no idea how magic works in this world. [groans]

Pinkie SpyEdit

[whistle blows]
Rainbow Dash: Crystal Prep High School. The competition!
[rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: Gah! What are you doing?
Pinkie Pie: You said we needed to be sneaky while we check out the competition for the Friendship Games. Wanna see what else I have? Cat burglar! Dog burglar! Tree! Bunny suit! Camouflage!
Rainbow Dash: That's, like, the opposite of camouflage! Quick! Get down!
[whistle blowing faintly]
Rainbow Dash: We need to get a better view!
[balloons inflating]
Pinkie Pie: Best view in the house!
[whistle blows]
[balloons popping]
[whistle blows]
[balloon deflates]
Pinkie Pie: [sniffing] You smell like vanilla.
Rainbow Dash: We're trying to eavesdrop! That means they don't hear us!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I have just the thing!
"Said Thunderbolt": [panting]
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing?! We're trying to spy on them! Do you even know what the word "spy" means? It means being sneaky! It means not being seen! It means BEING QUIET!
[pause]
Pinkie Pie: Bush to Dash. Code red. You have been spotted. RUUUUUUUUUUUNNN!

All's Fair in Love & Friendship GamesEdit

[bell rings]
Sweetie Drops: And then I said...
Lyra Heartstrings: "It tastes like marshmallows"?
Sweetie Drops: Yeah, so that made me...
Lyra Heartstrings: ...feel like you were on a camping trip?
Sweetie Drops: Yes! Just like—
Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops: That time we went to the amusement park in eighth grade!
Sweetie Drops: [gasps] You know me so well!
Lyra Heartstrings: [scoffs] You know me so well!
Sandalwood: Dudes, the tryouts for the Friendship Games are about to start!
Sweetie Drops: O...
Lyra Heartstrings: M...
Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops: Goodness!
Sandalwood: There are limited spots on the CHS team! So bring your A-game! [laughs]
[students cheering]
[students gasping]
[disco music]
[record scratch]
[tap dance music]
[8-bit video game music]
Japanese Voice-Over Guy: Compete!
Sweetie Drops: Yah!
Lyra Heartstrings: [yells]
Sweetie Drops: [growls, yells]
Lyra Heartstrings: [growls]
Sweetie Drops: [yells]
Lyra Heartstrings: [gulping]
Sweetie Drops: [grunts]
Lyra Heartstrings: Ha!
Sweetie Drops: [grunts]
Lyra Heartstrings: [squawking like a peacock]
Sweetie Drops: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Lyra Heartstrings: [squawking like a peacock]
Sweetie Drops: [louder] Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Micro Chips: Is it just me or did things take a turn towards Weirdsville?
Sweetie Drops: [louder] Hoo!
Lyra Heartstrings: [squawking even louder]
Sweetie Drops: Hoo!
Lyra Heartstrings: [squawking]
Sweetie Drops: Hoo!
Lyra Heartstrings: [squawking]
Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops: [squawking and hooting]
Sandalwood: Aw, dudes, Vice Principal Luna just posted the roster for the Friendship Games team!
[students chattering]
Lyra Heartstrings: [exasperated] You made the team!
Sweetie Drops: [exasperated] You made the team!
Lyra Heartstrings: Best!
Sweetie Drops: Friends!
Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops: Forever! [laughing]

Photo FinishedEdit

Vice Principal Luna: Photo Finish, our yearbook photos this year could use a bit more... mmm, pizzazz. Would you like to take some pictures for—
Photo Finish: Say no more! I, Photo Finish, will kepture za magicks! I go!
Photo Finish: Shtop! Hold that pose! [snaps fingers] Ja! You are shtarving! Now take a bite! No! Do not bite it! Yes! Yes! No. No!
[camera snapping]
Photo Finish: Enough! I go!
[basketball bouncing]
Photo Finish: Shports! [snaps fingers]
[fan whirring]
Photo Finish: Jump! Jump! Like a beautiful gresshopper! Like a graceful gazelle! You are striving to place the orb of desire in the net of the future!
[camera snapping]
Photo Finish: Enough! I go!
[crash!]
Photo Finish: Yes! Read! You are so very intrigued by the story! No, no! That book is out of order! It does not comply vith the Dewey Decimal System!
Miss Cheerilee: Shhhh!
Photo Finish: Enough! I go!
Photo Finish: Drink! Drink! Play, play! Paint it! Paint it! Yes! No! Yes! No! Enough! I go!
Vice Principal Luna: Photo Finish, I have been receiving a number of complaints from students and faculty about you! Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Photo Finish: I say nothink. Photo Finish lets her work speak for itself.
Vice Principal Luna: These are really impressive! You may continue, but do try to be less disruptive.
Photo Finish: Hold that pose! Ja, ja! You have the authority! Sign the waiver! [indistinct]
Vice Principal Luna: Hold on! What the—?! [screams]

A Banner DayEdit

Vice Principal Luna: I'm sure you'll come up with the perfect sign that lets the Crystal Prep kids feel welcome but also conveys that we are stiff competition.
Micro Chips: 100 percent!
Flash Sentry: Oh, yeah, sure!
Sandalwood: Totally.
Vice Principal Luna: I'll be back in an hour to see what you've come up with.
Flash Sentry: I got it! We should decorate it with the sheet music to my song "Love in a Flash". It'll show them we're talented while welcoming them in with the universal language of music.
Micro Chips: I was thinking we could paint a model of DNA. It shows that we're smart but invites them in with the very fiber of our being.
Sandalwood: But what we should do is portray peace through art. One love, bros.
[clattering]
[guitar music]
[techno music]
[new-age music]
Sandalwood: Dude!
Micro Chips: [gasps] What did you do?!
Flash Sentry: Watch the hair, man!
[thud]
[clank]
Sandalwood: You're harshing the flow!
Micro Chips: Hey, you did that on purpose! [gasps] My friendship algorithm!
Flash Sentry: Hey! You just projectile-scienced all over my chorus!
Micro Chips: Well, you guys painted all over my molecular structures!
Sandalwood: And how am I supposed to paint my spirit guide when there's DNA and a treble clef in the way?
Flash Sentry: Oh, I don't know! Ask your spirit guide!
All: You're ruining my design!
Vice Principal Luna: [clears throat] My, oh, my.
Micro Chips: We're really—
Vice Principal Luna: Proud of yourselves, I hope. This is wonderful!
Flash Sentry: It is?
Vice Principal Luna: It's inspiring but still warm and welcoming. I love how your work is literally enmeshed. Truly excellent work, boys.
Flash Sentry: Uh, thank you! This is just what happens when you allow love to lead the way.
Micro Chips: With song.
Sandalwood: Through the self-replicating material present in nearly all living organisms.
Vice Principal Luna: [chuckles] That's great to hear. Now just add "Welcome Crystal Prep", and I'd like to see five more by the end of the day. Thanks, boys!

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Friendship Games

Sunset Shimmer: I got your text, Rainbow Dash! Did something come through the portal? Is Equestrian magic on the loose? Did Twilight come back with a problem that only we can solve?!
Pinkie Pie: Has a giant cake monster covered all the cakes in the world in cake?!
Rainbow Dash: Um, not exactly.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I don't understand.
Applejack: Well, Sunset, I was just tellin' Rainbow Dash here that a broken guitar string doesn't really qualify as an emergency.
Rainbow Dash: It totally does!
Rarity: Really, Rainbow Dash! I was in the middle of sewing a very complex appliqué on my latest frock.
Fluttershy: And I was just about to tuck everyone in for the night at the shelter. Now we'll have to start stories all over again.
Sunset Shimmer: Why would you send all of us an emergency text for a guitar string?
Rainbow Dash: Well, I was going to pony up and show our fans some awesome guitar licks, but I kinda need all six strings to do it. Got any extra?
All but Rainbow Dash: [groan]
Sunset Shimmer: Here. But everyone finished practicing for the day. I'm pretty sure all the music rooms are locked.
Rainbow Dash: No problem. The acoustics in the hallway are perfect for power chords. [plays chord] C'mon! Let's go!
Applejack: You comin', Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: I'll catch up in a bit. [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight, how's life treating you in Equestria? Any cool new magic spells? It's been pretty quiet here at CHS since the Battle of the Bands. We still pony up when we play music, which Rainbow Dash just loves to show off. But I still can't quite grasp what it's all about. I would love to hear what you think about it when you get a sec. Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.
[bus pulls up]
[bus drives away]
[electronic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: Hey! What are you doing?! Wait! Stop!
[car skids]
Sunset Shimmer: Who was that?
Sci-Twi: [sighs]
[All]
Ahhh-ohhh...
Ahhh-ohhh...
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Ha!
Ahhh-ohhh...
The Friendship Games!
[guitar intro]
We've come this far
And we're not goin' back (No way!)
Prepare yourself
Cause we're on the attack (Attack!)
Won't have to find us
We'll be tracking you down (Right now!)
And when we're finished
We'll be takin' the crown
All the way (all the way)
All the way to the Friendship Games
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
All the way (all the way)
All the way to the Friendship Games
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
Hey! Ho!
Hey! Let's go!
[Rainbow Dash]
We studied hard
And we're here to win
[All]
Whoa-oh
[Applejack]
We're only tellin' you once
[Sunset Shimmer]
Our magic comes from the inside out
[Main six]
What you see's what you get
Don't you ever forget
[All]
All the way (all the way)
All the way to the Friendship Games
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
All the way (all the way)
All the way to the Friendship Games
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
[softer] Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
[even softer] Na, na, na-na-na, oh
Na, na, let's go!
Sunset Shimmer: She was definitely doing something to the statue – or was going to.
Fluttershy: Do you think she came through the portal from Equestria?
Sunset Shimmer: No, I'm pretty sure I woulda noticed that. I think she was from over here.
Applejack: Well, that's a relief. The last thing we need is another magical so-and-so bent on world domination comin' over from Equestria.
Rarity: Agreed. I have no interest in another fight against the powers of evil magic. The wear and tear on my wardrobe is just too much to keep up with.
Sunset Shimmer: Still, a mysterious figure snooping around the portal? Don't you wanna know what she was up to?
Fluttershy: [shudders] I don't even wanna guess.
Rainbow Dash: Well, you don't have to. Because I've totally figured out who it was!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! A nighttime statue cleaner? A magical portal maintenance maintainer? A gardener?!
Rainbow Dash: Seeing as how they got off a bus from the city and got back on a bus headed to the city, I'll bet they go to...
All but Sunset Shimmer: Crystal Prep.
Rainbow Dash: Yep. With the Friendship Games starting tomorrow, they'd totally try to prank us by defacing the Wondercolts statue.
Sunset Shimmer: Why would anyone take a bus all the way from the city for that?
Applejack: Because the Crystal Prep Shadowbolts are our biggest rivals?
Rarity: Because that's just what the students at Crystal Prep would do?
Rainbow Dash: Because even though they beat us in everything – soccer, tennis, golf – they still have to gloat!
Sunset Shimmer: Seems kinda silly to me.
All but Sunset Shimmer: Silly?!
Rainbow Dash: So I guess you think the Friendship Games are silly, too.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, it's not like we'll be fighting the powers of evil magic.
Fluttershy: No. We'll be fighting against a school full of meanies. Not everything has to be magical to be important.
Sunset Shimmer: You're right. I'm sorry. I know it's a big deal.
Rarity: [scoffs] That's putting it mildly, darling. They're still revamping the playing field in preparation.
Sunset Shimmer: I just don't understand why there's this big rivalry. Aren't the "Friendship Games" supposed to be about our two schools getting along?
Applejack: Well, it's kinda hard to get along with someone who beats you at everything.
Rainbow Dash: Not anymore! This time, things are gonna be different.
Sunset Shimmer: What do you mean?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, you'll find out.
Principal Celestia: As I am sure you all know, tomorrow, Canterlot High School will be hosting our fellow students from Crystal Prep Academy as we join together in the spirit of excellence, sportsmanship, and fidelity to compete in the Friendship Games.
Students: [unenthused cheering, sparse applause]
Principal Celestia: Since the games only happen every four years, I'm sure you're all curious what goes on.
Flash Sentry: You mean other than us losing?!
Principal Celestia: And that is exactly why I've asked Rainbow Dash to come up and give you all a little, um... context.
[microphone feedback]
Rainbow Dash: Thank you, Principal Celestia. [clears throat] I know a lot of you might think there's no way we can beat a fancy school like Crystal Prep at anything.
Pinkie Pie: Unless it's a "losing to Crystal Prep" competition! 'Cause we're really good at that!
Rainbow Dash: [groans] And I know that CHS has never won the Friendship Games even once.
Rarity: Oh, dear. I hope this speech isn't meant to be motivational.
Rainbow Dash: Crystal Prep students are super athletic, super smart, and super motivated. But there's one thing they aren't. They aren't Wondercolts!
We've fought magic more than once
And come out on top
[Chorus]
Oh, oh
[Rainbow Dash]
There's other schools, but none can make those claims
[Chorus]
Na, na-na-na-na, oh
[Rainbow Dash]
Together we are Canterlot
Come and cheer our name
[Chorus]
Oh, oh
[Rainbow Dash]
This will be our year to win these games
[Rainbow Dash and chorus]
We'll always be Wondercolts forever
And now our time has finally arrived
'Cause we believe in the magic of friendship
And you know, at the end of the day, it is we who survive
[instrumental break]
[Students]
Hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
We're not the school we were before
[Students]
Before!
[Rainbow Dash]
Yeah, we're different now
[Chorus]
Oh, oh
[Students]
Hey, hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
We overcame the obstacles we faced
[Chorus]
Overcame the obstacles we faced
[Students]
Hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
We're Canterlot united
[Students]
Unite!
[Rainbow Dash]
And we'll never bow
[Chorus]
Oh, oh
[Students]
Hey, hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
So get ready to see us in first place
[All]
We'll always be Wondercolts forever
(Three! Two! One! Go!)
And now our time has finally arrived
(Our time is now!)
'Cause we believe in the magic of friendship
And you know, at the end of the day, it is we who survive
At the end of the day, it is we who survive
Na, na, na-na-na-na
Wondercolts united together
Na, na, na-na-na-na
Wondercolts united forever
Na, na, na-na-na-na
Wondercolts united together
Na, na, na-na-na-na
Wondercolts united forever
Na, na, na-na-na-na
Wondercolts united together
[Rainbow Dash]
We'll always be Wondercolts forever
And now our time has finally arrived
'Cause we believe in the magic of friendship
And you know...
At the end of the day, it is we who survive
At the end of the day, it is we who survive!
[students cheering]
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, that was amazing! Even I feel like we can win!
Rarity: I feel like my school pride is at an all-time high!
Applejack: Is anybody else wonderin' how Dash ponied up without playin' her guitar?
Rainbow Dash: I know, right? It's probably because I'm so awesome!
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe. I mean, you are awesome, but there's gotta be more to it than that, right? It just seems so random.
Vice Principal Luna: Well, it would be nice if you girls could get a handle on it. We'd like to keep magic as far away from the Friendship Games as possible. We don't want to be accused of cheating.
Rarity: We don't need magic to defeat those hoity-toity Crystal Preppers.
All but Rarity, Sunset Shimmer, and Luna: [agreeing]
Rarity: [giggles]
Vice Principal Luna: Still, the Friendship Games are serious business. We don't want any surprises. Especially the kind that could cause us to forfeit. Sunset Shimmer, you came here from a world of magic. Perhaps you can get to the bottom of our magical development.
Sunset Shimmer: I'll do my best.
Rainbow Dash: Okay. Anybody have any guesses what the events are gonna be?
Pinkie Pie: Pie eating? Cake eating? [gasps] Pie-cake eating?!
Applejack: They won't even let us see what they're doin' to the field. You think they'd at least tell competitors what they're competing in.
Fluttershy: It could be anything.
Rarity: Anything?! How will I ever pick the right outfit?!
Sunset Shimmer: I really wanna help, but I think I better go focus on figuring out why Rainbow Dash ponied up. See ya later!
Pinkie Pie: Seems like she's got everything under control. Nothing to worry about.
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh! [sighs] [voiceover] Hey, Twilight. Haven't heard back from you yet. I guess you must be pretty busy with your role as princess. But I could really use your advice right now. You see, I've been given the job of keeping magic under control here at CHS, even though I still haven't quite wrapped my head around it. And now after seeing Rainbow Dash pony up the way she did, it makes me think her magic might be... changing. Everyone is looking to me to figure things out and I really don't wanna let them down. But I'm not sure I have enough experience with friendship magic to solve this.
[school bell rings]
Sci-Twi: [deep breath] Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me.
Puppy Spike: [pants]
[door opens]
Puppy Spike: [whimpers]
Sci-Twi: Spike? Spike?!
Puppy Spike: [barks]
Sci-Twi: [giggles] There you are.
Puppy Spike: [barks] [licks]
Sci-Twi: Okay, okay! Last night's field test confirmed it, Spike. With this device, I can track and contain the bizarre energy coming from Canterlot High.
Puppy Spike: [growls]
Sci-Twi: I know you didn't like me going over there, but I just couldn't wait. And soon, I'll have all the time I need. All of Crystal Prep is gonna be there for the Friendship Games. I just hope all that "rivalry" nonsense doesn't get in the way of my research. If I can collect enough data on these EM frequencies, I should be able to extrapolate the waveforms to determine their origin. That would practically guarantee my entrance into the Everton Independent Study Program! Whoa!
[knock on door]
Dean Cadance: Twilight, you know the rules against pets.
Sci-Twi: Well, Spike isn't a pet, Dean Cadance. He's the focus of my research project. Human-canine cohabitation: effects and implications.
Dean Cadance: If you say so. But Principal Cinch is highly allergic, so I suggest you put on a clean shirt.
Sci-Twi: Why?
Dean Cadance: Because she wants to see you.
Sci-Twi: Ooh! Maybe she has news about my application to Everton!
Dean Cadance: I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Are you sure that's what you really want?
Sci-Twi: Why wouldn't it be? A program that allows me to focus all my attention on my own advanced math and science projects? What a dream come true!
Dean Cadance: But there aren't any classrooms with other students. You'll be doing everything on your own.
Sci-Twi: That is why it's called an "independent study program".
Dean Cadance: I just don't want you to miss out on anything. That's all. Being around other people isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it's how you learn the most about yourself.
Sci-Twi: I guess.
Dean Cadance: Meet you in Principal Cinch's office in a few minutes?
[door closes]
Sci-Twi: [to Puppy Spike] What's she so worried about? Everton is exactly what I need right now. [sighs] It's not like I have anything left to learn at Crystal Prep.
[Sci-Twi]
I've walked through all these halls before
I've been in and out of every door, oh-whoa-oh
There's nothin' in this school that I don't know
In every class, my grade's the best
The highest score on every test
I think that means it's time for me to go
I know there's more that's out there
And I just haven't found it yet
I know there's more that's out there
Another me I haven't met
This school is full of people
But still I don't belong
They only dream of winning
Look at me like something's wrong
Maybe I'm better off alone
Will I find what I'm lookin' for
If I just do it on my own?
I know there's more that's out there
Something to fill this hole inside
I know there's more that's out there
And I'm not afraid to try
There's only so much this school can offer
And I'm not saying that it's wrong
But I know there's more that's out there
'Cause I've been searching all along
Beyond these rooms, beyond these walls
So much to learn, I can't see it all
There's somethin' out there callin' me
And it's a mystery that I can't wait to see
'Cause I know there's more that's out there
Another place, another way
And I know there's more that's out there
And I'll find out someday!
I'll find out someday...
[door creaks]
[chair squeaks]
[door creaks]
Sci-Twi: Shining Armor? Why is my brother here?
Dean Cadance: As an alumni, Principal Cinch thought he could provide some unique perspective.
Sci-Twi: Perspective on what?
Principal Cinch: Why, the Friendship Games, of course. You competed in the games, did you not, Shining Armor?
Shining Armor: [ahem] I did.
Principal Cinch: And you happen to recall who won?
Shining Armor: Ha ha, Crystal Prep did. We always win.
Principal Cinch: We always win.
Sci-Twi: Why did you ask to see me?
Principal Cinch: Twilight, I'll be honest. It doesn't matter whether or not Crystal Prep wins or loses. [monkeyshine squeaks] The important thing is we are expected to win because Crystal Prep has a reputation. And it is that reputation... my reputation that is responsible for everything we have here. For everything you've done here. And you've done quite a lot, haven't you?
Sci-Twi: I don't know. I guess.
Principal Cinch: Oh, don't be modest. You're the best student this school has ever seen. What I can't understand is why my best student wouldn't want to compete.
Sci-Twi: In the Friendship Games?
Shining Armor: Look, Twily, I know it's not really your thing, but representing the school is kind of a big deal. Plus, they could really use your help.
Principal Cinch: It seems Canterlot High is undergoing something of a renaissance. Test scores are up, grades, even athletics are on the rise. You see, they are developing somewhat of a reputation. This can not happen!
Sci-Twi: Principal Cinch, I can't possibly participate in the games. My work here is very—
Principal Cinch: Ah, yes. Your work. Cadance, could you and Shining Armor find my contact sheet for the Everton Independent Study program?
Dean Cadance: Of course.
[door closes]
Principal Cinch: I understand you've applied. You see, one of the advantages of having a reputation is a certain amount of influence in such things. So, let me offer you a deal. In return for contributing your agile mind to these games, I will use my influence to guarantee your application is approved. Though, I suppose I could also have it... denied. What do you think I should do?
Puppy Spike: [growls]
Sci-Twi: Ugh! Come on, Spike! I was always gonna go to Canterlot High for the Friendship Games. Ich! The only difference now is that I have to compete. Besides, it's not like Principal Cinch gave me much of a choice.
Puppy Spike: [whimpers]
Sci-Twi: I know, Spike. I don't like it either. I probably won't be able to collect anywhere near as much data as I thought. But maybe I can still get some.
Puppy Spike: [whimpers]
Sci-Twi: Spike, I wouldn't leave without you. Just remember to be quiet. And try not to shed.
[door creaks]
Sci-Twi: Dean Cadance, I'm not really sure where to go.
Dean Cadance: One second, Twilight.
Sour Sweet: [sourly] You could try the end of the line!
Sci-Twi: What did you say?
Sour Sweet: [sweetly] Just that someone as smart as you should definitely go first.
Sci-Twi: I... I didn't mean to. I was just asking.
Dean Cadance: This is the right bus, Twilight. Go ahead.
Sci-Twi: But... I didn't mean to cut in front.
Sour Sweet: [sourly] [scoffs] Well, it's too late now.
[bus door opens]
Indigo Zap: Are we gonna win?!?!
Sci-Twi: I... I don't know.
Indigo Zap: Wrong answer!! Try again! Are we gonna win?!?!
Sci-Twi: Um... I guess? I-It's just... I mean... I heard that CHS is doing well now. With their reputation. And, I mean, it's not better than ours, of course. But we can't let them do it, you know? Win, I mean? Right?
Bus Driver: You're gonna have to take a seat!
Sci-Twi: Hi, Sugarcoat.
Sugarcoat: That was a really bad speech. You should consider not speaking in public.
[engine starts]
Sci-Twi: Well, Spike, at least I've got you with me.
[rock music playing on headphones]
Lemon Zest: Dude, you have gotta hear this!
Sci-Twi: Uh? Eh!
[Rainbooms practicing]
Rainbow Dash: I hope the Friendship Games have a music competition, because we would totally rock it! [plays chord]
Sunset Shimmer: Um, we're supposed to keep magic out of the Friendship Games, remember?
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs]
Rarity: Easier said than done, darling. I'm sure in Equestria, magic does whatever you want. But...
Sunset Shimmer: This isn't Equestria.
Applejack: Well, when it comes to magic, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Rarity: And while Sunset works on keeping the magic out of the games, I've been working on what to put in! [giggles]
Applejack: Rarity, what'd you go an' do?
Rarity: Well, I had a little time on my hands, and since we don't know what the Friendship Games' events are, I made a few options for uniforms!
Rainbow Dash: You really didn't have to do that.
Rarity: I know.
Applejack: No. You really didn't have to.
Rarity: I know! [giggles]
Principal Celestia: Vice Principal Luna can help your students get settled if you'd like me to show you around, Principal Cinch. There have been quite a few changes since your last visit.
Principal Cinch: Oh, yes, Principal Celestia. I'm sure that would be fascinating.
Vice Principal Luna: Oh, it's always such a pleasure to see you, Dean Cadance. Even if it means another defeat.
Dean Cadance: Thank you, Vice Principal Luna, but I hear it's not going to be so easy this time.
Indigo Zap: Comin' through!
[thud]
Sci-Twi: Oof!
Sunny Flare: Seriously?
Sci-Twi: Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to. [groans] [to Sour Sweet] Oh, sorry. Why don't you go ahead?
Sour Sweet: [sweetly] You are such a sweetie! [sourly and hushed] I am watching you!
[rock music on headphones]
Lemon Zest: Ahh! Yeah! [rocking out sounds]
Sugarcoat: You are kinda being a doormat right now.
[device hums]
Sweetie Drops: Hi, Twilight.
"Cherry Crash": Hey, Twilight!
"Sweet Leaves": Hi, Twilight.
"Mystery Mint": Hi, Twilight.
"Scribble Dee": Hey, you. Lookin' good.
Sci-Twi: Um, hi.
"Sophisticata": Hey, what's happenin'?
"Blueberry Cake": Really nice to see you.
"Velvet Sky": Twilight, how ya doin'?
"Starlight": Twilight, yo! [clicks tongue]
Sci-Twi: Hi. Hello. Uh, good.
[thud]
Flash Sentry: Twilight? I almost didn't recognize you. When did you start wearin' glasses?
Sci-Twi: Um, like, since forever.
Flash Sentry: Oh, so how long are you here for?
Sci-Twi: Just for the Friendship Games.
Flash Sentry: Right. Of course. We'll totally win with you here.
[device beeping]
Sci-Twi: Uh, I gotta go.
Flash Sentry: Uh, okay. Bye? Aw.
Applejack: Uh, Rarity, these outfits are great, but why would you put so much time and effort into clothes we might not even wear? You're gonna exhaust yourself before the games even start.
Rarity: Oh, pff. Kch. Fff. Ts! Don't be silly, darling! Putting effort into clothes is what I live for, and spending time on my friends fills me with energy!
All but Rarity: [amazed reactions]
Sunset Shimmer: And magic, too, I guess.
[device continues beeping]
Rarity: [out of breath] Actually, Applejack, now that you mention it, I suppose I could use a tiny break. [faints]
Applejack: I told you.
[door opens]
All but Sci-Twi: Twilight?
Sci-Twi: Uh, yes?
Applejack: Well, I'll be. You shoulda told us you were comin'.
Rarity: Darling, those glasses. What are you wearing? It's so... severe.
Sci-Twi: My uniform?
Fluttershy: Your uniform for what?
Sci-Twi: For... Crystal Prep. But why does everyone at this school know who I am?
Rainbow Dash: Did you just say "Crystal Prep"?
Puppy Spike: [barks]
Fluttershy and Rarity: Spike!
Sci-Twi: [gasps] You know my dog's name, too?
Principal Celestia: And our music program has especially taken off. [gasps] Twilight?
Sci-Twi: This is getting ridiculous!
Principal Cinch: I must apologize for the curiosity of my prized student.
Principal Celestia: Your student?
Principal Cinch: The smart ones are always curious. I'll return her to check in with the rest of her classmates.
Principal Celestia: I didn't know Twilight had a twin sister.
Pinkie Pie: She doesn't! That Twilight is obviously the Twilight from this world since it couldn't possibly be the Twilight from the pony world since the Twilight from the pony world doesn't go to Crystal Prep or wear glasses.
Principal Celestia: Nevermind.
Sci-Twi: I'm sorry, Principal Cinch. I was just following these strange readings. Actually, they led me to those girls and—
Principal Cinch: Twilight, what you do in your free time is of little interest to me, but while you're here, I... all of Crystal Prep, in fact, require your complete focus.
Sci-Twi: But why does everyone at this school seem to know me?
Principal Cinch: Perhaps they're trying to confuse you. Perhaps they're trying to lure you away.
Sci-Twi: It didn't feel like anyone was trying to lure me.
Principal Cinch: I don't know what they're planning, but I guarantee, it isn't to help us win.
Rarity: I can't believe our world's Twilight goes to Crystal Prep!
Rainbow Dash: You're saying that Twilight's gonna play against us? She'd never do that!
Fluttershy: Our Twilight wouldn't.
Sunset Shimmer: [angrily] Our Twilight is a princess in Equestria and an expert in friendship magic! And if she was here, we'd have already figured out why magic is randomly popping up during pep rallies and costume changes. [deep breath] Sorry. I'm just frustrated that I haven't heard back from her.
Applejack: She's a princess in Equestria. Probably got problems of her own to deal with.
Rarity: We certainly can't expect her to drop everything and pop through the portal whenever. Especially if it's to deal with something as minor as a few random pony-ups.
Sunset Shimmer: But they aren't minor! Magic came into this world when I stole Twilight's crown. It's taken a lot for me to earn everyone's trust. If we have to forfeit the games because I can't think of a way to keep it under control...
Fluttershy: Oh, Sunset, I'm sure you'll be able to figure things out.
Applejack: You're the one who helped us understand what was goin' on with the sirens. Remember?
Sunset Shimmer: I guess. But Twilight was the one who really figured out what we needed to defeat them.
Rarity: But don't you remember, darling? What we needed to defeat them was you.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] All right.
All but Sunset Shimmer: [cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, guys! Let's see if we can find any info about the events and come up with a strategy. You comin', Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: I'll... catch up with you guys in a bit.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Still no reply.
[device humming]
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe there's another way I could reach her. Hey, let go!
[whoosh]
Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer: [scream]
Sunset Shimmer: What did you do?!
Dean Cadance: Twilight, you have to check in with the others.
Sunset Shimmer: Where's the portal? [grunts] Where's the portal?!
[cup crunches]
Applejack: What do ya mean the portal's gone?
Sunset Shimmer: I mean it's gone. It's closed. It's not there anymore!
Rainbow Dash: How'd that happen?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know. But it has something to do with that Twilight.
Applejack: What in tarnation is she up to?
Indigo Zap: Huh?
[splat]
Indigo Zap: [snarls]
Sunset Shimmer: Leave this to me. Twilight, what have you been up to?
Sci-Twi: Me? Oh, I was just, uh—
Indigo Zap: Who wants to know?!
Rainbow Dash: Um, we do.
Applejack: All right, everyone. Let's not get too competitive before the games even start.
Sugarcoat: The games aren't really competitive since we've never lost.
Fluttershy: That's not a very nice thing to say.
Sunny Flare: Sorry, dearie, but these games aren't about being nice.
Rarity: Well, you might use a little tact.
Pinkie Pie: Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!
Sci-Twi: Oh, hi. I'm Twilight.
Pinkie Pie: I know. You look just like my friend. Her name is Twilight too.
Sci-Twi: That's... heh, weird.
Pinkie Pie: What's that?
Sci-Twi: It's sort of a spectrometer. I built it to track EM frequencies, but it can also contain anomalies. [beat] It measures things.
Pinkie Pie: Like the party?
Sci-Twi: Yeah, though it doesn't look like much of a party to me.
Pinkie Pie: I know. Something is definitely missing. Come on!
Sci-Twi: Aah!
Principal Celestia: Hello, everyone! I'd like to take this opportunity to greet all of our visitors from Crystal Prep Academy and welcome them to CHS.
Sci-Twi: [grunts] What in the world is in these?
Pinkie Pie: Party cannons, of course!
Principal Celestia: And lastly, I would like to recognize the twelve students that CHS has elected to compete. I don't think we could have chosen a better group to represent the excellence, sportsmanship, and friendship the games stand for.
[party music]
[everyone conversing]
Sci-Twi: Um, are you sure this is a good idea?
Pinkie Pie: Absolutely!
[party cannon squeak]
[everyone talking]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, floaty!
[device humming]
[whoosh]
Pinkie Pie: Aw! Oh. I am party pooped.
[flash]
[device closes, powers down]
[thumping on microphone]
[feedback]
[record scratch]
[music stops]
Principal Cinch: I'd like to thank Principal Celestia for her unconventional welcome. It's been four years since the last Friendship Games, but it feels as though nothing has changed. Canterlot High continues to pick its competitors in a popularity contest and Crystal Prep continues to field its top twelve students. It is a comfort to know that even after so many years of losses, your school remains committed to its ideals, however misguided they may be. I wish you all the best of luck, regardless of the inevitable outcome.
Pinkie Pie: Oh.
Applejack: I'm sorry, Pinkie. I thought your party additions were really swell.
Fluttershy: They definitely broke the ice.
Rarity: Yes. If only that Principal Cinch hadn't frozen it again.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, she's awful.
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, Pinkie, what happened to you?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. Everyone started having fun after Twilight and I fired the party cannons and I ponied up.
Sunset Shimmer: Of course you did.
Pinkie Pie: But then the magic just drained right out of me.
Sunset Shimmer: Wait, what do you mean "drained out of you"?
Applejack: Hey. Where is that other Twilight?
Pinkie Pie: Oh. She's right... Uh, well, she was right here.
Vice Principal Luna: [over P.A. system] Good morning, students. I'm sure you're all thrilled to start the first day of the Friendship Games. Our competitors will face off in every aspect of the CHS curriculum, culminating in the elimination equation finale.
Dean Cadance: Welcome to the first event, the Academic Decathlon! You'll be scored on chemistry, home-ec and everything in between. But remember, only the six students from each team with the most points will move on to event number 2. Good luck!
[Sunset Shimmer and Wondercolts]
Ho! We're gonna take you down
Ho! We're gonna take you down!
Take you down! (Ho! We're gonna take you down!)
Take you down! (Down, down, down)
[Sci-Twi and Shadowbolts]
(Oh oh!) We're here to take you out
(Aw aw!) We're here to take you out (Aw aw!)
Take you out! (We're here to take you out!)
Take you out!
[Wondercolts]
We're not about to let you win, so get out of our way
Think you got us beat, but we're here to stay
United strong, yeah, we'll take you down
You're not so tough, now you're in our town
All of the times we lost before
Not about to give up, we're only bringin' it more
We can smell your fear, we can see your sweat
Hope you didn't spend money 'cause you're losin' this bet!
You've got nothin' on us
Na, na, na-na-na, na
Let's go, Wondercolts!
You've got nothin' on us
Na, na, na-na-na, na
Let's go, Wondercolts!
[Shadowbolts]
Talk a little too much for a school that never wins
Maybe you should just stop 'fore you even begin
We are Crystal Prep High and we have a reputation
Every little moment is about our education
Put your ear to the ground
Listen to that sound
You're a house of cards
And it's about to fall down (fall down)
About to fall down (fall down), hit the ground
You've got nothin' on us
Na, na, na-na-na, na
Let's go, Shadowbolts!
You've got nothin' on us
Na, na, na-na-na, na
Let's go, Shadowbolts!
[Wondercolts]
Pressure's on, now we're gonna beat you
Step aside, it's time that we defeat you
Crystal Prep yourself 'cause you're about to go
Down, down, down, down
[Shadowbolts]
Pressure's on, you know we're gonna take you
Just give up before we have to break you
Canter-not-a-lot, you're about to go
Down, down, down, down
[Wondercolts]
Take it up to the top
'Cause we know we can win
[Shadowbolts]
Maybe you should just stop
'Cause we've seen you give in
[Wondercolts]
We believe in ourselves
And we've got what it takes
[All]
And we're not gonna stop
[Sci-Twi]
I can't wait 'til this is all over
There's so much more that's going on
[Sunset Shimmer]
And before these games are over
I'll find out just what she's done
[All]
Can she do it? Will she make it?
Who will win it? Who will take it?
Can she do it? Who will take it?
Did she win it? Did she make it?
Who's the winner? Who's the reject?
How did she answer?
Principal Cinch: Incorrect!
[camera shutter clicks]
Vice Principal Luna: That means the winner of the Friendship Games' first event is Twilight Sparkle and Crystal Prep!
Crystal Prep Students: [sigh, scattered applause]
Rainbow Dash: That was awesome!
Rarity: Truly amazing!
Sunset Shimmer: But we didn't win!
Applejack: That was as close to winnin' as Canterlot's ever been.
Dean Cadance: After a careful tally of the points, we'd like to present the students moving on to the Friendship Games' second event.
[applause]
The Main Six: [cheering]
Flash Sentry: Congratulations! You were really great!
[device humming]
Sci-Twi: I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Flash Sentry: Okay, then. Aw.
Cat: [purrs]
[bush rustling]
Fluttershy: Do you wanna give her a treat?
Sci-Twi: Guess I'm not the only one to smuggle her pet into school.
Fluttershy: [giggles] Not just one.
Sci-Twi: Oh, wow. All I have is Spike.
Puppy Spike: [panting]
Fluttershy: It really is uncanny. Does he talk?
Sci-Twi: Um, not that I know of.
Fluttershy: Congratulations on winning, by the way. Though, it didn't seem like anyone on your team was very excited about it.
Sci-Twi: No one at my school gets excited about anything they didn't do themselves.
Fluttershy: That sounds awful. [beat] Here. Hold this.
Sci-Twi: Um, why?
Fluttershy: Holding a bunny always makes me feel better.
Sci-Twi: Well, that's ridiculous. But... Ooh. It actually kind of works. I'm on the other team and you just lost. Why are you being so nice to me?
Fluttershy: You looked like you needed it.
[magic noises]
Sci-Twi: [gasps] Whoa!
[device activates]
Puppy Spike: [growls and barks]
Sci-Twi: Spike!
Puppy Spike: [yowls]
Sci-Twi: Spike!
Fluttershy: [shudders]
Sci-Twi: Spike, are you okay?
Puppy Spike: Um, I think so.
[beat]
Sci-Twi and Puppy Spike: Daaaah!!!
Sci-Twi: [squeals]
Puppy Spike: Twilight, wait!
Fluttershy: [sighs] Bye.
Sci-Twi: [panting]
Puppy Spike: Twilight, come on! Wait for me! [panting] Why did you run away like that?
Sci-Twi: Um, oh, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the glowing girl, or the hole in space. Or my talking dog!
Puppy Spike: Yeah. Weird, right?
Sci-Twi: Are you okay? How do you feel? What happened? Where did you go?
Puppy Spike: Hey, one question at a time! This is pretty new to me, too.
Sci-Twi: Sorry.
Puppy Spike: All I know is I chased that pointy rabbit through the glowy thing and then I was somewhere else. Next thing I knew, I was back in that nice girl's arms and I could talk! I don't really understand why I couldn't before. I mean, it's so easy.
Principal Cinch: Twilight.
Sci-Twi: Quick! Hide in here!
[locker closes]
Principal Cinch: Who are you talking to?
Sci-Twi: Um, myself. It's a nervous habit. Were you looking for me?
Principal Cinch: Indeed I was. Quite a coincidence that the CHS students moving on to the next event are the same nice girls who were so interested in you, don't you think?
Sci-Twi: I'm not sure.
Principal Cinch: Perhaps you should get to know them after all.
Sci-Twi: But I thought you didn't want me to.
Principal Cinch: Let's just say I'm covering my bases. Who knows? Perhaps they will reveal to you the secret to Canterlot High's newfound success.
Sci-Twi: I dunno. Spying feels kind of... wrong.
Principal Cinch: Well, it's your decision, Twilight. It's not as if your application hangs in the balance. On second thought, yes, it does.
Puppy Spike: Man, she's awful. What are you gonna do?
Sci-Twi: [sighs] I don't know, Spike. I don't know.
Fluttershy: All I did was hand Twilight a bunny. Then I ponied up.
Sunset Shimmer: I just don't get it. Rarity's magic came out when she made us outfits. Pinkie's when she fixed the party and now Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: And then Twilight's pendant thingy just pulled the magic right out of me. I couldn't even stand up.
Pinkie Pie: Like me at the party!
Rarity: Or me right before we met Twilight!
Sunset Shimmer: So she's stealing magic?
Applejack: I don't know. She doesn't seem like the magic-stealin' type.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, but she had something to do with closing the portal. If her pendant can pull in magic, maybe it stole the portal, too.
Fluttershy: How?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know. And the pony or person or princess who could help me figure this out is completely unreachable now.
Pinkie Pie: Which is too bad, because Twilight knows everything about magic and portals and magical portals and portable magics!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: For now, let's just focus on beating the Shadowbolts. And as long as this event puts me in a playing field, I don't think we've got anything to worry about.
Applejack: Oh, it puts you on a playin' field, alright.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps loudly]
Sunset Shimmer: Am I the only one who thinks this is overkill?
Applejack: [to Rarity] I don't suppose you made motocross outfits.
Rarity: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Of course I did!
Principal Cinch: You will race in pairs. Indigo Zap and Sugarcoat will handle the motocross.
Indigo Zap: Yes!
Principal Cinch: Lemon Zest and Sunny Flare have requested the short track.
Lemon Zest and Sunny Flare: [high five each other]
Principal Cinch: Since archery is a standard requirement at our school, any of you should be able to do it. Twilight and Sour Sweet will start us off.
Sour Sweet: [sweetly] Well, that's just marvelous! [sourly] If you wanna lose before we even start!
Principal Cinch: Given that Twilight won the last event single-handedly, I have every confidence that she will be able to pull her weight here. Won't you?
[camera shutter clicking]
Dean Cadance: Welcome, everyone to the Friendship Games Tricross Relay!
[crowd cheering]
Dean Cadance: In this event, our qualifying competitors will face off in archery, speed skating, and finally, motocross.
[engine revs]
Dean Cadance: So if the competitors are ready... [blows airhorn] Each competitor must hit a bullseye before their teammates can start the next leg of the relay.
[arrows hit]
[audience cheers]
Sour Sweet: [growls]
[audience cheers]
[arrow hits]
[arrow misses]
Sour Sweet: [growls]
Applejack: [breathes]
[arrow whooshes]
[arrow hits]
[bell dings]
[crowd cheers]
Dean Cadance: And Canterlot is off to an early lead!
[arrows keep missing]
Sour Sweet: [sourly] Well, that's just fantastic!
Fluttershy: I'm sure glad I don't go to Crystal Prep.
Applejack: You said it.
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Dean Cadance: If CPA can't hit another bullseye soon, they'll be out of this race.
Sugarcoat: You're really bad at this!
Applejack: Ugh! I can't take anymore! Ya have to stop aimin' at the target.
Sour Sweet: [sweetly sarcastic] Oh, that makes perfect sense! Don't aim at the target! Thanks so much!
Applejack: Ya have to stop aimin' at where the target is an' aim at where the target's gonna be.
Sour Sweet: [sweetly sarcastic] Yeah! Definitely take advice from the person [sourly] you're competing against!
Applejack: Do you wanna hit the bullseye or not? Then trust me. Take a deep breath.
Sci-Twi: [deep breath]
Applejack: And let the arrow go... riiiiight.... now!
[arrow whooshing]
[arrow hits]
[crowd cheers]
[bell dings]
Puppy Spike: Yeah! That's my girl!
Applejack: See? I was tellin' ya the truth.
[magic noises]
[device hums]
Applejack: Eh... what... are... you... doing?!
Sci-Twi: I don't know!
[thud]
[whoosh]
Dean Cadance: Canterlot only has two laps to go! But it looks like Crystal Prep is making up for lost time!
[Shadowbolts fans cheering]
[wheels rolling]
Rarity: Come on!
[Wondercolts fans cheering]
Dean Cadance: What a finish!
[camera shutter clicks]
[engines rev]
Sci-Twi: Aah!
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!
[crowd cheering]
Everfree Forest creature: [roars]
[crowd gasps]
[tires screech]
Everfree Forest creature: [roars]
Sunset Shimmer: Dash, you saved me!
Rainbow Dash: I wasn't about to let my friend become plant food.
[magic noises]
[tires screech]
Rainbow Dash: We can still win this!
Everfree Forest creature: [roars]
[thud]
Dean Cadance: Canterlot wins!
[Wondercolts fans cheering]
Dean Cadance: Attention, students, please proceed to the gym.
[device humming]
[portals closing]
Applejack: Is everybody all right?
Rainbow Dash: Better than all right! We won!
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, we won, but somebody could've been seriously hurt. The magic is going haywire and I have no idea how to fix it!
Sci-Twi: Um, excuse me, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to learn about the strange energy coming from your school. I didn't know that it was magic or... how it works.
Rainbow Dash: That's okay. Neither do we.
Sci-Twi: Oh, no! Oh, no no no! Not again!
Rainbow Dash: [struggling]
Sci-Twi: I'm sorry! It just started absorbing energy on its own! But I'm not sure how!
Sunset Shimmer: What do you mean you don't know how?!
[portal opening]
Sci-Twi: It also causes these corresponding rifts to appear! I don't know how that works either.
Sunset Shimmer: Is there anything you do know?! Like how to get our magic back?! Or how to fix the portal to Equestria?!
Sci-Twi: Equestria?
Sunset Shimmer: You're supposed to be so smart, but did you ever think that you shouldn't be messing around with things you don't understand?!
[portal closing]
Sci-Twi: But I wanna understand!
Sunset Shimmer: But you don't! And worst of all, you put the lives of my friends in danger!
Sci-Twi: [voice breaking] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. [sobbing]
Puppy Spike: Twilight, wait!
Principal Celestia: [clears throat]
Principal Cinch: You can't possibly call that a fair race.
Principal Celestia: Principal Cinch, we all saw what happened. You can't think CHS had some kind of advantage.
Principal Cinch: Can't I? Even without your trained attack plants, your students have wings!
Principal Celestia: Well, the race certainly had some... extenuating circumstances. Perhaps we should end the games now and declare a tie.
Principal Cinch: A tie? Was this your strategy all along? To force us into accepting you as equals? I think not. The games will continue and Crystal Prep will prevail despite your antics and whatever performance-enhancing regimen your students are on.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sorry I couldn't stop all this from happening.
Principal Celestia: It's not your fault, Sunset.
Sunset Shimmer: Isn't it? I should know how to control the magic I brought here. But I don't. I let everyone down. And now Principal Cinch thinks we're cheating.
Principal Celestia: It doesn't matter what Principal Cinch thinks.
Sunset Shimmer: But it does. The students here at CHS don't just wanna win. They wanna beat Crystal Prep. It isn't gonna count if the other side doesn't really think they lost. Crystal Prep is never gonna believe we won fair and square if there's magic around. And that magic is only around... because of me.
[crowd cheering]
Dean Cadance: Since the score's tied, the final event will determine the winner of the Friendship Games.
Vice Principal Luna: Somewhere on campus, a pennant from each school has been hidden. The first team to find their school's flag and bring it back wins.
Dean Cadance: And as soon as our teams are ready, we'll begin.
Fluttershy: I don't feel like playing these games anymore.
Rainbow Dash: But we have to play. This is the last event!
Rarity: [scoffs] It's a little hard to focus with all the magic stealing and portal opening.
Sunset Shimmer: And I feel awful about what I said to Twilight.
Fluttershy: Especially since she obviously didn't mean to do all the stuff she did. She's actually really nice.
Sunset Shimmer: [facepalms]
Applejack: Let's just get through this last event and prove we're not a bunch of cheaters. Then you can go over and apologize.
Principal Cinch: I know I'm asking you to beat a team that isn't playing fair, but Canterlot High must be made to understand that even with magic at their disposal, beating Crystal Prep is simply not an option.
Sugarcoat: What if they grow wings again?
Principal Cinch: A fair question. Though I believe we can now fight fire with fire. I've seen what your device can do, Twilight. Containing magical energy is fine, but have you considered releasing it?
Sci-Twi: But I don't even understand how it works.
Principal Cinch: But you'd like to. And since our opponents have already used it to stay competitive, I see no reason why we shouldn't do the same. Unless, of course, you have no interest in Everton. Though, honestly, I think there's more knowledge packed in that little device than any independent study program could offer.
[Principal Cinch]
I realize that you've always been an outcast
It's not everyone at school who likes to think
To find a student that's like you
I've had one or maybe two
But the good ones disappear before I blink
[Shadowbolts]
(Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh
Oh, wuh-oh-wuh)
[Principal Cinch]
Now, I understand you have your reservations (oh-wuh)
It's hard to have a brain as large as yours (oh-oh-oh-oh)
But if we don't win these games
Well, I think I've made it plain
What will happen if we have the losing scores!
[Shadowbolts]
(Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh
Oh, wuh-oh-wuh)
Unleash the magic, unleash the magic
If we lose, then you're to blame (ah, ah-ah-ah)
They all have used it, maybe abused it (ah-ah-ah)
So then why can't we do the same?
(Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh
Oh, wuh-oh-wuh)
[Principal Cinch]
Call it power, call it magic
If we lose, it will be tragic
More important is the knowledge we'll have lost (oh-oh-oh-oh)
A chance like this won't come again
You'll regret not giving in
Isn't understanding magic worth the cost?
[Shadowbolts]
(Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh
Oh, wuh-oh-wuh)
Unleash the magic, unleash the magic
We're not friends here after all
Our only interest in this business (ah-ah-ah)
Is seeing Canterlot High School fall
(Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh
Oh, wuh-oh-wuh, oh)
[Principal Cinch]
What I'm suggesting's very simple
And since it's win-win on all scores
You only want to learn about the
Magic that you have stored
And as for me and all the others
We only want what we deserve
That our school will clinch the win
And my...
[Principal Cinch and Shadowbolts]
...legacy will endure
Unleash the magic, unleash the magic
If we lose, then it's a crime
But we can win it if you begin it (ah-ah-ah)
It's up to you to not fail this time
[Male Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Female Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Sci-Twi]
Imagine all I'll learn by setting it free
Vice Principal Luna: If both teams are ready...
[Male Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Female Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Sci-Twi]
And now winning these games depends on me
[Male Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Female Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
And what doors might open if I try to use it
Dean Cadance: ...the last event of the Friendship Games begins...
[Male Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Female Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Sci-Twi]
But the magic's what I really want to see
Puppy Spike: Twilight, no!
[Male Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic now
[Shadowbolts]
Unleash the magic, free the magic...
Unleash the magic, free the magic...
[All]
Now!
[boom, whoosh]
Puppy Spike: [gasps]
Sci-Twi: [struggles] Heeeeeeeeeelllllllp... meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Uhh! Ahh!
[transformation noises]
Puppy Spike: [whimpers]
Midnight Sparkle: [evil laughter] [to Sunset] You were right! I didn't understand magic before, but I do now!
[explosion]
Sunset Shimmer: Equestria!
[crackling]
[students screaming]
Sunny Flare: Hey! Where are you going?!
Principal Cinch: Anywhere to avoid that... monster! And I suggest you do the same!
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, you can't do this!
Midnight Sparkle: Why not?! There's a whole other world right there, and it's just filled with magic!
Sunset Shimmer: But you're destroying this world to get it!
Midnight Sparkle: So what? There's more magic there, and I want to understand it all!
[explosion]
[students screaming]
Sunset Shimmer: Uhh!
Applejack: [grunts] Don't let go!
[students screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Hang on!
Rarity: Obviously! [struggling]
Indigo Zap: We got you!
[device humming]
[magic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: This isn't the way! I know you feel powerful right now, like you can have everything you want! I've been where you are, I've made the same mistake you're making! I put on a crown and, just like you, I was overwhelmed by the magic it contained! I thought it could get me everything I wanted!
Midnight Sparkle: Oh, you're wrong. Unlike you, I can have everything I want!
Sunset Shimmer: No, you can't. Even with all that magic and power, you'll still be alone! True magic comes from honesty! Loyalty! Laughter! Generosity! Kindness! I understand you, Twilight, and I want to show you the most important magic of all...
[transformation noises]
Daydream Shimmer: ...the Magic of Friendship!
[magic noises]
Midnight Sparkle: [grunts] [evil laughter]
Puppy Spike: Twilight!
Sci-Twi: Spike?
Midnight Sparkle: Noooo!
Daydream Shimmer: Take my hand, Twilight. Let me show you there's another way... just like someone once did for me.
[magic noises]
Sci-Twi: I am so sorry... I didn't mean for any of this to happen...
Sunset Shimmer: I know. And going by my own experiences, they'll forgive you.
Puppy Spike: [barks]
Sci-Twi: [giggles]
Principal Cinch: [angrily] Principal Celestia, on behalf of Crystal Prep, I demand that you forfeit the Friendship Games! Clearly, CHS has had unfair advantage for quite some time! And it's certainly obvious that your students have been using magic for their own benefit!
Principal Celestia: I'd like to think that saving the world benefits us all.
Sugarcoat: At least they didn't manipulate Twilight into releasing all the stolen magic and turning into a power-crazed magical creature that tried to rip the world apart just to win a game.
Pinkie Pie: Wow! That's a lot to take in when you say it all at once.
Principal Cinch: That's ridiculous!
Puppy Spike: Nope, that's pretty much what happened.
Sour Sweet: [sweetly] Actually, we're all to blame. [sourly] Mostly it was her.
Principal Cinch: Obviously my students have been infected with your magic, but I plan on taking all of this up with the school board!
Principal Celestia: Good. I'm sure they would be very interested in hearing all about the magical students with wings.
Vice Principal Luna: Oh, and the portals to different dimensions.
Dean Cadance: And don't forget to tell them about the talking dog. [giggles]
Puppy Spike: Because that would never ruin your reputation.
[Princess Twilight's theme playing]
Principal Celestia: Well, I know these Friendship Games haven't been what any of us expected, but given what we've all just been through, I think it's fair to declare us all winners.
[everyone cheers]
Dean Cadance: I guess that was one way to finish up your time at Crystal Prep. Pretty sure Cinch will be fast-tracking your application after all of that.
Sci-Twi: I've been thinking about it and... I'm not so sure now is the time for me to apply to Everton.
Dean Cadance: Really?
Sci-Twi: I may know about a lot of things, but friendship isn't really one of them. And I'm definitely not gonna learn more about it by being alone all the time.
Dean Cadance: So, you're staying at Crystal Prep?
Sci-Twi: Well, it seems the students here at CHS know an awful lot about the subject. I don't suppose...
Dean Cadance: You could transfer to this school instead.
Sci-Twi: Really?
Dean Cadance: You'd certainly be missed at Crystal Prep. But I think that's a great idea! I'll be sure to speak to Principal Celestia about it right away.
Fluttershy: Still no word from Princess Twilight?
Sunset Shimmer: Not yet. But I think I may have figured out how magic works in this world. We pony up when we're showing the truest part of ourselves. I was so busy waiting for someone else to give me the answers that I gave up looking for them myself. I'm sure there will be more magical problems that pop up in this world, but like Applejack said, Princess Twilight has her own problems to worry about in Equestria. We can't expect her to always be around to help us.
Sci-Twi: But maybe I can be?
Principal Celestia: It seems we have a new Wondercolt here at Canterlot High!
Sci-Twi: I'm not sure how much help I could be. But I'd like to try. If you would all give me a chance.
Principal Celestia: I'm sure I can count on you girls to help her feel at home.
Sunset Shimmer: You sure can.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner! I didn't get your messages until just now because I was caught in this time travel loop and, honestly, it was the strangest thing that's ever happened to me! [beat]
Pinkie Pie: [slurping drink]
Twilight Sparkle: Make that the second strangest.
[end credits]
[Sci-Twi]
I spent so much time searchin'
Lookin' for somethin' more
Diggin' holes too deep
And opening every door
And when you stand too close
Yeah, the picture's never clear
And when you look too far away
It all but disappears
[All]
And it was right (right) there in front of me (Oh-oh, ah-oh-oh)
Just too close for me to see (Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Sometimes the things you want
Are not the things you need
And it was right there in front of me
[Sunset Shimmer]
There was a time before
I didn't know where I belonged
I thought I needed more
And that I couldn't get along
[Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer]
But who I am
Was all I ever needed
And when I faced that test
I finally succeeded
[All]
And it was right (right) there in front of me (Oh-oh, ah-oh-oh)
Just too close for me to see (Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Sometimes the things you want
Are not the things you need
And it was right there in front of me
Oh, whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer]
And it's all I'll ever need
[All]
Oh, whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer]
And it was right there in front of me
[All]
Oh, whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
[Sci-Twi and Sunset Shimmer]
And it's all I'll ever need
[All]
Oh, whoa-oh, oh-whoa-oh
And it was right there in front of me-ee-ee

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree

Spike: [snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: [in her sleep] No... It can't be...! It isn't true...!
Fluttershy: Um, Twilight?
[knock on door]
Spike: [barks excitedly]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight! The bus for Camp Everfree leaves in ten minutes!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no-no-no-no-no! I can't believe I overslept!
[door opens]
Sunset Shimmer: Me neither. That's not like you.
Twilight Sparkle: I know!
Pinkie Pie: Don't you have a super-annoying alarm clock that goes [imitates alarm clock buzzer]?
[alarm clock buzzer]
Sunset Shimmer: It's gonna be fine. We'll help you pack.
Spike: [pants]
Applejack: [sighs] We're gonna be out in the woods. When is she gonna need that?
Rarity: If we were going to the moon, I'd insist she packed an evening gown. One never knows, darling.
Twilight Sparkle: Lemme just get changed.
The Equestria Girls: Midnight Sparkle?!
Twilight Sparkle: How is this possible? Sunset Shimmer helped me defeat you at the Friendship Games!
Midnight Sparkle: You and your friends can never truly defeat me! [maniacal laughter]
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash: [scream]
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: [scream]
Spike and Sunset Shimmer: [scream]
Midnight Sparkle: Midnight Sparkle's a part of you! I'll always be there waiting in the darkest shadows of your mind! I'll be back, Twilight! And this time, I won't stop until I have all the magic!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Twilight Sparkle: Stop!
Spike: Twilight, wake up!
Pinkie Pie: We can't stop, silly! We're not there yet!
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, are you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Heh. I'm fine.
Pinkie Pie: We are gonna have so much fun! We're gonna roast marshmallows and eat marshmallows and sleep on marshmallow pillows!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, probably not gonna do that.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe you're not.
[squeak]
Principal Celestia: Attention, students, we're almost there. But before we arrive, we just wanted to say how proud we are of you for raising enough money to go on this class field trip.
Vice Principal Luna: When we were your age, we made some of our favorite memories in these woods, and we're sure you will, too.
Principal Celestia: Now who's excited for Camp Everfree?!
Students: [cheering]
[All]
Will you be lost by time or be part of history?
Will your story be told or remain a mystery?
Will they sing your song, telling all that you have done?
Time to make your choice, only you can be the one
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree! (Hey!)
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree! (Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Will you do something great with the time that you have here?
Will you make your mark? Will you conquer what you fear?
And when you go back home, everybody there will see
You were part of the Legend of Everfree!
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree! (Hey!)
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree! (Hey!)
Will you find your greatest glory?
Will you be a falling star?
Here to learn what nature teaches
Here to learn more who you are
Will you be lost by time or be part of history?
Will your story be told or remain a mystery?
And when you go back home, everybody there will see
You were part of the Legend of Everfree!
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree! (Hey!)
Oh, oh, oh-oh-whoa
As you join in the Legend of Everfree!
Hey!
Fluttershy: Isn't Camp Everfree just beautiful? I can't wait until we have our first nature walk.
Spike: I definitely wanna go on one of those.
Fluttershy: You wanna see all the adorable woodland creatures, too?
Spike: Yeah! Specifically squirrels. More specifically, so I can chase 'em! [barks, pants]
Applejack: I'm just lookin' forward to roughin' it. I'm gonna make my own shelter, forage for food...
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you know they provide us with food and tents, right?
Applejack: Yup! Still gonna forage though.
Rarity: [sighs] I'm just after some R&R. The past year has all been a bit too much for my tastes.
Pinkie Pie: I'll say! We fought three evil sirens who tried to hypnotize everybody with their singing, one ridiculously competitive rival school, and two demon friends! [to Sunset and Twilight] Uh, heh-heh, no offense.
Sunset Shimmer: None taken. [to Twilight] You'll get used to it.
Applejack: Yep. Canterlot High has become a regular magic magnet. Gonna be nice gettin' away to a place where we don't have to worry about that kinda stuff.
Flash Sentry: Here you go, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks. It's... Flash, right?
Flash Sentry: Yup, that's me! And you're you. And we don't know each other very well. [muttering] Cool story, bro.
Twilight Sparkle: Right. I guess I'll... see you around.
Sunset Shimmer: You know how there's that girl who looks just like you when she's here but lives in another dimension and she's a pony princess?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Sunset Shimmer: Flash kinda had a... thing for her.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh.
[P.A. feedback]
Gloriosa Daisy: [over P.A.] Hey, everyone! If you could start heading to the courtyard, that would be rad! It's time to start the best week of camp ever!
[campers conversing]
Spike: [barking]
Gloriosa Daisy: [amplified] Hi, everyone! Welcome to Camp Everfree! I'm Gloriosa Daisy, your camp director! Think of me as your friendly camp and nature guide. And this is my brother, Timber Spruce!
Timber Spruce: Think of me as that awesome guy... who should always be invited to fun things.
Gloriosa Daisy: We aim to please, so before we hand out our tent assignments, we'd like to hear from all of you. You're free to do whatever you like here.
Timber Spruce: Uh, except hike near the rock quarry. That's off-limits.
Gloriosa Daisy: Y-Yes, but otherwise, your options are wide open. So what activities will make this the very best week of your lives ever?
Rainbow Dash: Ooh! Rock climbing!
Gloriosa Daisy: Done!
Rainbow Dash: Archery!
Gloriosa Daisy: Of course!
Rainbow Dash: Tetherball!
Gloriosa Daisy: Naturally!
Sunset Shimmer: Rainbow, I know you're excited, but maybe give somebody else a chance to make a suggestion.
Bulk Biceps: Arts and crafts! My mom... needs new pot holders.
Gloriosa Daisy: I'll supply the looms!
Pinkie Pie: Cookie decorating! [slurps]
Gloriosa Daisy: Ooh, I do make a mean sugar cookie.
Fluttershy: Early morning nature walks?
Gloriosa Daisy: With walking sticks for everyone!
Rarity: Ooh! Me! Oh, uh... a fashion show! Where I design the most fabulous camp looks inspired by today's hottest trends and have them modeled by my classmates in a gorgeous outdoor setting!
Gloriosa Daisy: A camp tradition!
Timber Spruce: We have literally never done that.
Gloriosa Daisy: I'll be taking requests the rest of the time you're here, so if there's anything you'd like to do, anything you need, just ask.
Principal Celestia: What about the camp gift? That was my favorite Camp Everfree tradition.
Gloriosa Daisy: The camp gift! Of course!
Timber Spruce: [whispering] Really?
Gloriosa Daisy: [whispering] Yes, really.
Timber Spruce: [whispering] Well, I just thought—
Gloriosa Daisy: [whispering] Then you thought wrong!
Sunset Shimmer: Anyone else picking up on a little tension between Gloriosa and her brother?
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Ehhh...
Pinkie Pie: A little.
Gloriosa Daisy: Every year, campers work together to create something useful. A gift for future campers. Working toward this common goal is key to forming the strong bonds that will last well beyond your time here at camp! [hushed] Which is why it's so important. [out loud] This gazebo was a gift from last year's group. Oh, oh, oh, and the totem pole and the sundial were also made by campers!
Principal Celestia: The sundial was our year's gift!
Vice Principal Luna: [coughing] Even though "some people" thought it was a little impractical, since the sundial can't be used at night.
Gloriosa Daisy: [chuckles] You all seem like a-a really amazing group. So I'm certain you'll come up with something inspiring to leave behind.
[campers cheering]
Timber Spruce: Speaking of leaving things behind, now's the time when we give out tent assignments so you can leave your heavy bags behind.
Gloriosa Daisy: Uh, girls will be getting their assignments from Timber. Guys, you're with me.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, boy! Hmm... Yay! I'm in the Emerald Tent!
Rarity: Ooh, me, too!
Applejack: Aquamarine.
Rainbow Dash: Me, too!
Applejack: Yee-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah!
Fluttershy: I got Amethyst.
Sunset Shimmer: Sapphire.
Twilight Sparkle: Me, too! I mean, I'm assuming I am. Heh-heh. Technically, sapphires aren't just blue. Heh-heh. They can be pink, purple, yellow...
Timber Spruce: Yeah, but they're mostly blue. That's why they're named after the Latin word sapphirus.
[beat]
Timber Spruce: [whispering] That means "blue".
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] I know. But did you know that sapphires are just rubies without chromium?
Timber Spruce: No. But did you know that Sapphire Tent is the best one?
Twilight Sparkle: No. Why's that?
Timber Spruce: Because you're in it.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I bet you say that to all the campers.
Timber Spruce: Not true. [to Bulk Biceps] You're in the Ruby Tent? Ha! That's the worst one!
Bulk Biceps: Aw, man!
Timber Spruce: I'm just jokin', buddy. Ruby Tent is great. It's like a sapphire but with chromium.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Timber Spruce: But the Ruby and Coral Tents do look an awful lot alike to the undiscerning eye. I better show you where it is. [to Twilight] See ya around.
Rainbow Dash and Sunset Shimmer: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Applejack: Heh. Nothin'.
Rarity: Ooh! That was adorable!
Gloriosa Daisy: [blows whistle] Okay, everyone, go get settled in. We'll be meeting at the docks in fifteen minutes to go over some camp safety rules. Let me know if you need anything!
Filthy Rich: I need somethin'.
Gloriosa Daisy: Filthy Rich! So nice to see you. [whispering] What are you doing here?! Camp is just getting started!
Filthy Rich: Just takin' in the scenery, Gloriosa Daisy. It's so... hmm... relaxin'.
Gloriosa Daisy: Well, you can look around when camp is over. Now, if you don't mind...
[beat]
Filthy Rich: Fine.
[limo drives away]
Gloriosa Daisy: Filthy Rich is, uh, an alumni of the camp. He likes to check on his old stomping grounds every now and again. But enough about him. Find your tents and put away your things. We've got the best week of camp ever to begin!
Rarity: [sighs] I'm all for learning safety rules, but I do hope I can get started on my designs for the camp fashion show sooner rather than later.
Applejack: Huh. I still can't believe you talked Gloriosa into havin' a fashion show. We're in the middle of the woods, for cryin' out loud! We're s'posed to be roughin' it!
Rarity: It's clear from Gloriosa's own wardrobe that she appreciates a well put together look. Even if we are in the "middle of the woods".
Applejack: Fair enough. Just as long as you don't put me in one of your fancy pants outfits. ...You're gonna, aren't ya?
Rarity: No. Yes! [chuckles] Don't worry, darling. It'll absolutely speak to your personal sense of style...
Sunset Shimmer: [spookily] Oooooooooohhhh.... [normal] That was weird back there, right? With that guy, Filthy Rich?
Twilight Sparkle: Huh? Oh. Uh, I guess so.
Sunset Shimmer: I just have this feeling that Gloriosa's hiding something. Her brother is pretty cute, though, huh?
Twilight Sparkle: He's okay.
Sunset Shimmer: Ooooh, now look who's trying to hide something.
Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm not!
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, you okay? You seemed a little freaked out on the bus earlier.
Spike: Probably had another one of her nightmares.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fine. I mean, what do I have to complain about? Ever since I transferred here, everyone from CHS has been really nice and accepting, especially considering what happened at the Friendship Games.
Sunset Shimmer: That wasn't your fault. Principal Cinch is the one who encouraged you to try and use all that magic to win the Games for Crystal Prep. You weren't ready to have that kind of power. But it's over now. And if there's any group that's gonna forgive you for something that happened in the past, trust me, it's this one.
Rainbow Dash: You guys comin' or what?
Sunset Shimmer: Be right there! I just wanna put on some sunscreen. Huh. I coulda sworn I packed it.
Twilight Sparkle: Found it!
[levitation noises]
Sunset Shimmer: Did you? How is this possible?
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe this. It's...
Sunset Shimmer:
Amazing!
Twilight Sparkle:
Terrible!
Sunset Shimmer: Are you kidding? This is great! I mean, we've all ponied up before, gotten the whole ears and wings and tail thing, shot magical rainbow lasers, but nothing like this has ever happened! How did you do it?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know! Maybe I didn't. Maybe it's her!
Sunset Shimmer: Her who?
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing. Never mind. Can we just not talk about it? And could you please not bring this whole levitating thing up to the others?
Sunset Shimmer: Why not?
Twilight Sparkle: You heard Applejack. This is supposed to be the place where everyone can get away from magic. I don't want them to know I brought some crazy new kind with me.
Sunset Shimmer: If you really don't want me to, I won't say anything.
Twilight Sparkle: I really don't.
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing! [grunting] [sighs] [grunting] [sighs]
Spike: I think you're just gonna have to pick it up.
Sunset Shimmer: Awww.
Gloriosa Daisy: [thinking] —show up like that!
Sunset Shimmer: What did you say?
Gloriosa Daisy: I... didn't say anything. Just here to make sure everyone was headed over to the docks! Did you need something?
Sunset Shimmer: Nope.
Gloriosa Daisy: Because if there is anything I can do to make this week the best week ever, you just let me know. I've got this!
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks, I'm good. [to Spike] People that chipper make me nervous.
Pinkie Pie: This is gonna be so much fun!
Sunset Shimmer: I guess not all people.
Rarity: Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? It looks like a diamond shining in the sun!
Fluttershy: It is lovely out here. The fresh air, the cool breeze, the birds that land on your finger.
Rainbow Dash: I think that only happens to you.
Gloriosa Daisy: Lake activities are available every day until sunset, so if you want to canoe, sail, windsurf, or swim, just let me know.
[ducks quacking]
Fluttershy: Aren't they just the cutest?
[wood splinters]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Timber Spruce: Whoa! I know I'm charming, but you don't have to fall for me.
Flash Sentry: [sighs] Guess I can't get too jealous, right? After all, she isn't my Twilight. Not that the other Twilight was mine! But we were... you know.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah. I get it. But your Twilight is a princess in Equestria. Hate to break it to you, but that's where she's gonna spend most of her time.
Flash Sentry: So you're saying I just need to get over her?
Sunset Shimmer: Kinda, yeah.
Flash Sentry: Ouch. You're not pulling any punches.
Sunset Shimmer: Not really my style. Sorry.
Vice Principal Luna: This is a safety hazard. I suggest we close down the dock for the remainder of the camp.
Students: [complaining]
Gloriosa Daisy: Oh, I'm sure it won't have to be for the remainder of camp. Just needs to be patched up a bit. I've got this!
Applejack: Huh. Or maybe we do! If you ask me, this whole dock needs to go. [thump] Building a new one could be our camp gift. Sure, it would benefit us, but a nice new dock would benefit future campers, too.
Students: [cheering]
Timber Spruce: I don't know. It's an awful lot of work. I wouldn't want you guys to miss out on doing other fun camp stuff because you're so busy building a dock for future campers.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: I hear what you're saying, Timber, but we're Canterlot Wondercolts. We've got a reputation to uphold! And there was no way we were gonna leave this place without contributing the most awesome camp gift ever! I'm with AJ. Building a new dock is definitely it! What do you guys think?
Students: [cheering]
Gloriosa Daisy: [to Timber] Looks like it's settled, then.
Timber Spruce: [to Gloriosa] Looks like it.
Sunset Shimmer: That's some tension, all right.
Twilight Sparkle: We can reinforce the foundation.
Applejack: Make it nice and sturdy.
Sunset Shimmer: And we can add a wood-carved sign that says "Camp Everfree".
Fluttershy: And little boxes with food so you can feed the ducks and fishies.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, we'll add lanterns so you can see at night!
Rarity: [gasps] It's stunning! And will make an absolutely perfect runway for my camp fashion show!
Applejack: More importantly, it will be a great place for docking canoes and feeding the wildlife.
Rarity: Oh, you say "tomato", I say "perfect place to showcase glamorous boho-chic stylings".
Twilight Sparkle: What do you guys think?
Principal Celestia: It's going to be a lot of work, but we can do it!
Pinkie Pie: Yes! Adult supervision!
Applejack: Huh, nice hammer. Where did you get it?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, duh. The toolbox?
Applejack: Hah, that's cool. I made mine.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: Making lanterns out of solar-powered garden lights! Pretty crafty there, Timber!
Timber Spruce: You think that's crafty? You should see my macaroni art. I'm like the Picasso of noodles.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Principal Celestia: All right, now. You've made a lot of progress, but it's going to be getting dark soon. We can pick this up tomorrow between our other camp activities.
Gloriosa Daisy: Everyone, get cleaned up, and we'll gather by the fire pit at eight to share s'mores and scary stories!
Pinkie Pie: S'mores!
Rarity: ...And that's when she looked down and realized she was wearing purple socks with a burgundy dress! [screaming] Purple and burgundy, darlings! The same color family! [screaming]
Students: [murmuring]
Applejack: Uh... that was a terrifying story.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Yeah, I'm terrified she'll try to tell it again.
Vice Principal Luna: [clears throat] Anyone else have a spooky story?
Timber Spruce: I have one. But I'm warning you, you might as well hug a friend now. That's how scary it is!
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Spike: [whimpers]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear.
Bulk Biceps: [clattering teeth]
Timber Spruce: It's time I told you about the legend of Gaea Everfree.
Timber Spruce: [narrating] Many years ago, my great-grandparents came to this forest. Seeing its beauty, they decided that it would be the perfect place for a camp. But once they started building, strange things started to happen. One pitch black night, when the wind was howling, a tree branch crashed through the roof of their cabin! They screamed and ran outside, only to see the giant creature rising from the earth! She had wild hair like the roots of a tree. Her mouth had jagged rock teeth and her eyes were pools of black tar. But her aura shimmered like diamonds. Anywhere she went, she left a trail of gem dust in her wake. Trembling, my great-grandparents asked who she was and what she wanted. In a deep and hollow voice, she told them that her name was Gaea Everfree – an ancient spirit who held domain over the forest, and that my great-grandparents were trespassing on her land. They begged her to let them stay and build their camp, to share this wonderful place with others. Gaea Everfree finally agreed but warned them that they would not be able to keep it forever. Someday, she will return and reclaim the forest as her own.
Timber Spruce: So if you see a trail of gem dust, you'll know that it is... [louder and scarier] Gaea Everfree!
Students: [screaming]
Gloriosa Daisy: Hey, guys! Sorry, didn't mean to scare you!
Sunset Shimmer: Then why'd you come out of the bushes?
Gloriosa Daisy: I... took the scenic route, because the forest is beautiful at night. But no one else should do it without a guide, kay? All right, everybody, time to head to your tents.
Snips: Oh, hey, Gloriosa. Do you have extra toothbrushes? I forgot mine.
[fly buzzing]
Gloriosa Daisy: Sure do! I'll get one for you.
Snails: [shuddering] I'm scared of the dark! Do you have flashlights?
Gloriosa Daisy: Of course! I got this!
Spike: [struggling] Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Sorry, Spike. I guess that story got to me.
Applejack: Why? It can't be real.
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. Gaea Everfree could be some creature that got booted from Equestria and ended up in this world. That's what happened with the sirens.
Applejack: Eh. Sounded more like something that Timber was makin' up just to scare us. At least I hope it was. Last thing I want is to have camp ruined by some power-crazed magical creature.
Rarity: Oh, hear-hear. We've had to deal with more than our fair share of those. At the Fall Formal, a musical showcase, the Friendship Ga— Well, I mean, you know, everything turned out all right, of course [nervous chuckle]
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm. I'm kinda tired. I'm gonna turn in.
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe lay off bringing up what happened at the Friendship Games? I think she's still pretty sensitive about it.
Pinkie Pie: [with mouth full] Our lips are sealed.
Spike: [snores]
Twilight Sparkle: [restless grunts]
Midnight Sparkle: Here I am! Over here. I'm always here!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
Sunset Shimmer: [muttering] What happened?
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing. Sorry, Sunset.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, Twilight, I think something happened.
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
[thud]
Spike: [grunts] [sighs] Is it time to get up already?
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, we really have to talk about this.
Twilight Sparkle: No, we don't!
Derpy: [blows]
[bird screeches]
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, I know you don't want to, but I really think we need to figure out what's going on with your magic. If you could learn to control it—
Twilight Sparkle: But that's just it! I'll never be able to control it!
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: What happened?
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't mean to!
Sunset Shimmer: We didn't see anything, so we don't know what happened.
Sunset Shimmer: Are you okay?
Sandalwood: Yeah. It was so weird. We were stuck in a middle of the lake with no wind, then all of a sudden, bam! The wind picked up, and we were pushed right into the dock.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] You don't think it was the spirit, do you?!
Twilight Sparkle: [to herself] No, it was me.
Trixie: Spirit, show yourself! The Great and Powerful Trixie commands it!
Rarity: What's that?!
Students: [concerned chatter]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, man! All our hard work! Ruined!
Fluttershy: At least the fishies are eating well.
Sunset Shimmer: Let's salvage what we can out of the water. Maybe we can still fix this.
Rarity: We have to try! Camp Everfree needs a runway!
Applejack: Dock.
Rarity: Dock. Yes. That's what I meant.
[Twilight Sparkle]
It used to be so simple
It was a world I understood
I didn't know what I didn't know
And life seemed pretty good
But now the darkness rises
From somewhere deep inside of me
Her power overtakes me
Can I keep this midnight from getting free?
If I can stay with the light
I know I'll be free
And I can start to be whole
I can start to be me
But instead I am struggling
With all that I see
And these friends
Mustn't see the midnight in me!
The midnight in me!
They mustn't see the midnight in me...
Spike: [in his sleep] So many squirrels...
Sunset Shimmer: Spike?
Spike: Ah! Oh. Aw, man! I was having the best dream. Wait. That dream could be a reality!
Sunset Shimmer: Before you run off to chase squirrels, do you have any idea where Twilight could be? I really need to talk to her.
Spike: What happened? Did she do that lifting things off the ground thing again?
Sunset Shimmer: That's just it. I don't know if it was her. But if it was, we need to deal with it head on.
Spike: I can track her down.
Twilight Sparkle: Keep it together. Deep breaths. You are not a monster.
Twilight Sparkle and Timber Spruce: [scream]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, hi. [chuckles] What are you doing here?
Timber Spruce: Uh... Looking for you.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I just went on a nature walk and got a little lost.
Timber Spruce: Let me show you the way. I'm kind of an expert at these woods. I've lived here my whole life.
Twilight Sparkle: That must have been nice. Growing up at a camp.
Timber Spruce: Yeah, though it has its downsides. When I was younger, I wished we'd sell this place so we could live in a town like normal people.
Twilight Sparkle: Really?
Timber Spruce: I was ten. I really wanted to hang out at the mall.
Twilight Sparkle and Timber Spruce: [giggle]
Timber Spruce: I've never told that to anyone. You must be special. [beat] And not just because you have tree branch in your hair.
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. How long has that been in there?
Timber Spruce: Not long. Just the whole time we were talking.
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] Well, why didn't you say something?
Sunset Shimmer: [to Spike] I guess we can help Twilight deal with the magic stuff a little later.
Principal Celestia: Rock climbing is all about perseverance and trust. Rarity, you can trust that Applejack will spot you.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, so you can totally go faster than you're going.
Applejack: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry. I've been waiting to do this since we got here.
Rarity: Well, you have to wait a little longer, darling.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, good! Twilight, if you spot me, I can finally go. I'll go get another harness.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure—
Timber Spruce: I better make sure my sister doesn't need anything. See you later?
[romantic music]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, there you are! I was looking for you!
[rumble]
Students: [screams]
Spike: Was that an earthquake?
Twilight Sparkle: We aren't near any fault lines.
Bulk Biceps: Hey! Who left this crystaly dusty stuff here?!
Rarity: [yelps] I-I believe I'd like to come down now!
Applejack: [struggles] Sorry, it's a little bit stuck.
Rarity: [screams] Applejack! What are you doing?!
Principal Celestia: Is everything okay over there?
Applejack: Uh, I don't know what happened. I didn't even pull the rope that hard. It's like she was light as a feather all of a sudden.
Rarity: [breathing heavily] I was scared half to death!
Applejack: It wasn't my fault! Let me help you get your harness out.
Rarity: No, thank you!
Applejack: [screams, spits water]
Principal Celestia: What in the world just happened?!
Rarity: Oh, dear! I am so sorry! I think. Did I just do whatever that was?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think it was your fault. I gonna go get Applejack a towel.
Sunset Shimmer: Me, too. [to Twilight] You're not the only one with a new kind of magic! This is great!
Twilight Sparkle: No, it's not! Rarity and Applejack could have really hurt each other! Why is this happening? I don't—
Gloriosa Daisy: Hi, girls! Anything I can do for you?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Applejack just fell into the lake!
Gloriosa Daisy: Oh, no! She's gonna need warm towels, dry clothes, oh, and a hot cocoa! I've got this!
[screams]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: Fluttershy?
Sunset Shimmer: What happened?!
Fluttershy: I don't know. We were just decorating cookies and—
Pinkie Pie: And I was all, "You need more sprinkles! And you need more sprinkles!"
Sunset Shimmer: So, standard Pinkie Pie stuff.
Pinkie Pie: I was just tossing sprinkles to Fluttershy, when all of a sudden they glowed pink and exploded!
[explosion]
Pinkie Pie: Just like that, only earlier!
Sunset Shimmer: Oookaay. Why don't you lay off touching stuff for a while?
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. We really should clean all of this up. [struggles] Can someone help me out?
Constance: [tweets]
Fluttershy: Thank you, Mr. Bird.
Constance: [tweets]
Fluttershy: Why, of course I can get you a little something to— [gasps] Did you just... talk?
Constance: [tweets]
Fluttershy: But I don't speak "chirp".
Constance: [tweets]
Fluttershy: I don't know if you're the only bird I can understand.
Constance: [tweets]
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Please don't call for your friends.
[tweeting and hooting]
Fluttershy: It's nice to meet all of you, too.
Sunset Shimmer: Were you just talking to the birds?
[tweets]
Fluttershy: Um, yes?
[door slam]
Fluttershy: [screams]
[tweets and hoots]
Applejack: Did you tell them what happened? So crazy! I hoisted Rarity up the rock climbin' wall like it was nothin'! Like I had way more strength than I usually do.
Rarity: And I made a diamondy thing appear out of nowhere, which normally I'd be excited about. I mean, the facets were just perfect, and the—
Applejack: Rarity!
Rarity: Oh, sorry. It knocked Applejack over and then it disappeared!
Applejack: Speaking of disappearing, has anybody seen Rainbow Dash?
[zoom]
Rainbow Dash: [screams] [thud] Ow!
Applejack: Whoa! How'd you do that?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. I started running to get the harness, and the next thing I knew, I was practically back in town!
Rarity: But if you had some sort of super speed, why you were gone for so long?
Rainbow Dash: Because I lost it when I got far away. And then it came back when I got close to camp.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Being at camp is giving us all new magical abilities!
Sunset Shimmer: Not all of us have gotten new abilities. I haven't, but Twilight— ...hasn't, either.
Applejack: [sighs] So much for my theory that leavin' CHS would mean leavin' any new magic business behind.
Sunset Shimmer: Something at the camp must be making this happen.
Fluttershy: Um, Gaea Everfree?
[door opens]
Fluttershy: [screams]
Gloriosa Daisy: Applejack! I was looking for you! Here, I brought you some towels and dry clothes. Uh, what happened in here?
Sunset Shimmer: We're kinda trying to figure that out.
Gloriosa Daisy: Well, don't worry about it. I got this!
Sandalwood: Gloriosa, I kicked my beanbag into the lake!
Gloriosa Daisy: [eye twitch] I'll get you another one!
Derpy: And I'm all out of arrows!
Gloriosa Daisy: Say no more! New arrows coming right up!
Timber Spruce: There you are! [hushed] Filthy Rich is back. Do you want me to handle it?
Gloriosa Daisy: [hushed] Absolutely not! [normal] I've got this! [screams internally]
Sunset Shimmer: Fluttershy, enough with the screaming!
Fluttershy: I didn't scream.
Rainbow Dash: For once.
Rarity: Nobody did.
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
Principal Celestia: [over P.A.] Attention, campers! Anyone who's interested in making floating paper lanterns, please meet us by the picnic tables.
Applejack: I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I've been lookin' forward to comin' here for a month. Maybe we forget about this "new magic" for a bit and just try to focus on enjoyin' our time at camp?
Rarity: I was oh, so excited about designs I've come up with for the camp fashion show.
Rainbow Dash: And I've barely gotten to whoop anybody in tetherball.
Sunset Shimmer: I think we should try to figure it out. But if letting it go for now is what the rest of you want...
Everybody sans Sunset and Twilight: [agreement]
Pinkie Pie: Abso-tootly-lutely!
Rarity: Um, Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?
Pinkie Pie: Putting marshmallows in my lantern. Then when we light them, mine will be beautiful and delicious!
Spike: Hey, Twilight, why aren't you with everyone else?
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset said something at camp is causing the other girls to get new magic. I think it's Midnight Sparkle. She's still part of me. I can feel it. And I think her magic is infecting my friends.
Spike: What are we gonna do?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what I can do.
Gloriosa Daisy: Okay, everyone! It's time to watch your lanterns fly!
Timber Spruce: Hey, cool lantern! Mine's my face!
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously]
Timber Spruce: Uh, you okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm.
Timber Spruce: You don't seem like yourself tonight.
Gloriosa Daisy: Ready? And... go!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Aw! Oh, well! Now I get to eat it! [chomps] Yep, beautiful and delicious.
[snoring]
[rustling, footsteps]
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps] Twilight? Twilight! Where is she going?
[rustling]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight? What are you doing out here?
Twilight Sparkle: We're... we're meeting a cab to take us home.
Spike: She thought you'd talk her out of it.
Sunset Shimmer: Because I would. Twilight, you can't leave.
[magic noises]
Pinkie Pie: You don't think it was the spirit, do you?!
Twilight Sparkle: [to herself] No, it was me.
Twilight Sparkle: I think it's Midnight Sparkle. She's still part of me. I can feel it. And I think her magic is infecting my friends.
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, there's no Midnight Sparkle. There's only you.
Twilight Sparkle: How did you know what I was thinking?
Sunset Shimmer: When I touched your hand, I could see things. I could understand why you were leaving. My new magic...! This is my new magic! This is incredible!
Twilight Sparkle: No, it's not! I'm infecting you now!
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, you have to stop looking at this as a bad thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Easy for you to say. Magic turned you into something beautiful. The last time I tried to use it, it turned me into a monster. I'm just so afraid it's gonna happen again.
Sunset Shimmer: Yes, last time I turned into something amazing, but I've let magic turn me into a monster, too. So if anyone understands what you're going through, it's me. I can help you, Twilight. And the rest of our friends can be there for you, too. But not if you run away.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I'll stay. But I still don't think it's a good idea for me to be near the rest of our friends right now. Not until we know why this is happening.
Sunset Shimmer: Understood.
[rustling]
Sunset Shimmer: What was that?!
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: [scream]
Timber Spruce: [screams] Wait. Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: Timber? I'm so glad it's just you! Wait, what are you doing out here?
Sunset Shimmer: With an axe?
Timber Spruce: I was chopping down firewood.
Sunset Shimmer: In the middle of the night?
Timber Spruce: We needed more for tomorrow night's campfire. And if I didn't take care of it tonight, it would be one more thing Gloriosa would add to her list. [imitating Gloriosa Daisy] I've got this!
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles]
Timber Spruce: What about you two? Why are you hanging out in the woods in the middle of the night?
Sunset Shimmer: Oh! I was sleepwalking. Twilight found me and was bringing me back to camp.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm.
Timber Spruce: Come on. I'll walk you guys back. I'll protect you from [spookily] Gaea Everfree! Everfree! Everfree!
Sunset Shimmer: Come on. That's obviously just a spooky story you made up to tell around the campfire.
Timber Spruce: Oh, no. It's legit. How else would you explain what happened at the docks? And that weird thing where the earth shook? Come on. I know a shortcut back to the tents.
[sparkling]
Sunset Shimmer: Legit, huh? I think we just found our "Gaea Everfree".
Spike: But why would he work so hard to make us think she was real?
Sunset Shimmer: You heard what he said about wishing his sister would sell this camp. If nobody wants to come here because it's home to some angry ancient nature spirit, it sure would help his cause.
Spike: We should tell Twilight.
Sunset Shimmer: Not yet. She's obviously going through a lot right now. We should probably be a hundred percent sure before we tell her the guy she likes is a jerk who's trying to run everybody out of camp.
Spike: Uh-huh!
[hammer knocking]
[planks creaking]
Rainbow Dash: Phew! Uh, you gonna give us a hand here, Rarity?
Rarity: Oh, I'd love to, but I really need to get the stitching on this poncho done if it's going to make it into the camp fashion show. Though at the pace you two are moving, I don't know that the runway will ever be finished.
Applejack: The dock is our gift to the camp, and it's gonna get finished. That is, if Rainbow Dash would hurry up and bring me more wood.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I can't go any faster! I don't want to end up in the woods again.
Applejack: Don't be silly.
Rainbow Dash: Really?
Applejack: [sighs] I know I said we should try to forget all about this new magic business, but I can't. What if I hammer the board into splinters?
Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash: [agree]
Applejack: Aw, shoot! I'm all out of nails.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, here you go!
Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, no! [scream]
Applejack: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: What? Ohhh, did you think the nails would explode like the sprinkles? Wow! Glad that didn't happen, huh?
Rarity: [sighs] Sorry, girls. I didn't mean to. I don't know how to control this.
Rainbow Dash: It's okay.
Fluttershy: Oh, none of us do.
Sunset Shimmer: Which is why we shouldn't pretend this isn't happening.
Rainbow Dash: Do you have them now, too?
Sunset Shimmer: It started last night. When I touch people, it's like I can feel what they're feeling and see their memories.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh, fancy! Try me, try me!
[happy music playing]
Pinkie Pie: La-la-la-la. Ooh, taffy!
Sunset Shimmer: That explains so much.
Pinkie Pie: Yep.
Sunset Shimmer: Girls, we can't just brush these powers aside because it doesn't seem like the ideal time to get them. What if it turns out that they could actually make things better?
[Sunset Shimmer]
So you have magic
And it's not that great
But when it found you
You know it was fate
And it might seem scary now
But it can be wonderful, too
So how about we embrace the magic
And make the magic part of you?
You take a little dash of magic
And you let it ignite
Mix things up a little bit
And it might start to go right
In just five seconds flat
How the story has changed
All 'cause now you've embraced the magic
And it just got better in every way
I say embrace the magic
No more holding back, just let it out
If you can take the magic
And learn a little more what it can do
Once the magic is part of you
What's standing in your way
That you can't move today?
You've got the strength in you
To make your dreams come true
No need to shield yourself
From the magic that can help
Protect from any harm that might come
So you have magic
And it's not that great
But when it found you
You know it was fate
So if you listen close
You might make a new friend
And together we can make it!
I say embrace the magic
No more holding back, just let it out
If you can take the magic
And learn a little more what it can do
Once the magic is part of you
Once the magic is part of you
Once the magic is part of you
Once the magic is part of you
Rainbow Dash: Okay, that was pretty awesome!
Sunset Shimmer: And look what you managed to accomplish!
Rarity: Please, please, please can we do a run-through for the fashion show on it right this minute?
Applejack: Thought you weren't finished with the stitching on your poncho.
Rarity: I am now.
Sunset Shimmer: Get started without me. I've gotta go find Twilight. Seeing what we've been able to do here might make her embrace the new magic, too! Uh, not that she has any.
Gloriosa Daisy: [muffled] I just wish you didn't tell them that ridiculous story!
Timber Spruce: Ah, this is all too much for you! You have to let it go!
Sunset Shimmer: [to herself] I knew it! He wants her to get rid of the camp!
[door opens]
[door creaks]
[bump]
Sunset Shimmer and Flash Sentry: Ugh!
Flash Sentry: Sunset Shimmer? What were you doing behind that door?
Sunset Shimmer: What? Um, nothing! I, um, lost an earring. Uh, there it is!
Flash Sentry: Hey, listen. I'm glad I ran into you. I really wanted to thank you.
Sunset Shimmer: For what?
Flash Sentry: For the tough love. Telling me I should get over Twilight. I needed to hear that.
Sunset Shimmer: Sure, no problem.
Flash Sentry: Is something wrong?
Sunset Shimmer: What? No. Why?
Flash Sentry: Come on, Sunset. We used to date. I know when something's bothering you.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Okay, here's the deal. My friend really likes someone, but I don't think that someone is who she thinks they are. I don't wanna upset my friend by telling her what I think, because I also want to protect her, because if what I think is happening is really happening, then she deserves to know. You know?
Flash Sentry: Nnnno. But what I do know is that your friend is lucky to have someone like you to look out for them.
Sunset Shimmer: Really?
Flash Sentry: Yeah. You know, you've changed a lot since we went out. You're so much... nicer.
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks. I'm glad you noticed.
Flash Sentry: Uh, look, maybe you and me, we could start over as... friends.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, uh, sounds great. I gotta go!
Flash Sentry: Cool, yeah! I want to start over later, too! Hah.
[rumble]
[magic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: Ah, shoot! He's definitely up to something!
[phone playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor]
Twilight Sparkle: It's Sunset. She says to meet her by the rock quarry.
Spike: I thought we weren't supposed to hike out that far.
Twilight Sparkle: She says it's important!
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: What is that? [shrieks]
Sunset Shimmer: Shhh!
Twilight Sparkle: What's going on down there?
Sunset Shimmer: I think it's Gaea Everfree. Or rather, someone who wants us to think she's back. C'mon! Whoa...
Twilight Sparkle: This place is beautiful.
Sunset Shimmer: There's Equestrian magic here. I can... I can feel it.
Spike: Wait. I thought Timber was just faking there was a magical nature creature. Are you saying it's real?
Twilight Sparkle: Timber? What does he have to do with any of this?
Gloriosa Daisy: [softly] Nothing. It's all me.
Sunset Shimmer: Gloriosa? But... Timber. I was sure he was the one trying to make it seem like Gaea Everfree was back. It was you who was trying to scare everyone away?
Gloriosa Daisy: I would never try to scare anyone away from Camp Everfree.
[magic noises]
Filthy Rich: My, oh, my. You fell behind on your payments, Gloriosa. I own the land now.
Gloriosa Daisy: Please. My great grandparents founded this place. It's been in our family for generations! You have to let the camp stay!
Filthy Rich: Instead of turning it into a spa resort that will line my pockets with more money than this camp ever could? [chuckles] I don't think so.
Gloriosa Daisy: Please! I-I-I-I just need a little more time!
Filthy Rich: Fine. I'll give you 'til the end of the month. Hmph.
Gloriosa Daisy: [cries]
Gloriosa Daisy: What'll I do? [cries]
[magic noises]
Gloriosa Daisy: Huh?
[magic noises]
[rumble]
Gloriosa Daisy: Oof. [coughs] Wow!
[magic noises]
Gloriosa Daisy: [gasps]
[magical burst]
Gloriosa Daisy: Oof.
Timber Spruce: You don't know what those things are!
Gloriosa Daisy: But I know what they can do! I've been practicing! I can control their power now!
Timber Spruce: You don't know that for sure!
Gloriosa Daisy: This is our camp, and it's being taken away! If this has to be our last week here, I'm going to use whatever it takes to make it count!
Derpy: [blows]
[magic noises]
[splash]
[crash]
[magic noises]
[rumble]
[splash]
Timber Spruce: You were using magic all over the place! I had to tell them something to cover for you! What did you want me to do?!
Gloriosa Daisy: I just wish you didn't tell them that ridiculous story!
Timber Spruce: Ah, this is all too much for you! You have to let it go!
Sunset Shimmer: Timber wasn't talking about letting go of the camp. He was talking about you letting go of the magical geodes! All those things you were doing to make this week the best week ever. Every time you used magic to do them, you caused another problem somewhere else! Timber was... covering for you!
Gloriosa Daisy: How do you know what I was doing with the geodes? How do you know about the magic?
Sunset Shimmer: I can see things. Feel things. Because I have magic, too. And so does she. And so do our friends.
Twilight Sparkle: Gloriosa, Timber wasn't wrong. Maybe you should stop using magic. Too much of it can be dangerous if you can't control it.
Gloriosa Daisy: Oh, I got this. And I'm going to use it to save my camp. I just need more power!
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: No!
[magic noises]
Gloriosa Daisy: Sorry, girls. I know what I need to do. But I feel like we're not on the same page. So...
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: [struggle] Gloriosa!
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: No!
[students chattering]
Rarity: Where are Twilight and Sunset? [sighs] they're missing our dress rehearsal.
Pinkie Pie: Uh-uh.
Rarity: I suppose we can get started without them. Whenever you're ready!
[techno pop music]
Rarity: Hmm. Told you you'd like it.
Applejack: It's alright... I guess. I do get to keep it after camp though, right?
[brambles growing]
[water pump squeaking]
Snails: She looks... different.
Snips: Yeah. She looks... taller.
Rarity: This is only a preview. I've got another entire line I'll debut at the real thing.
[record scratch, music stops]
Rarity: Why did you stop the—? [gasps] Oh, my goodness!
Gloriosa Daisy: Attention, campers!
Trixie: It's Gaea Everfree!
Flash Sentry: She's real!
Bulk Biceps: Aah! We're doomed!
Timber Spruce: Gloriosa?! What are you doing?!
Applejack: That's Gloriosa? Am I goin' crazy, or are her feet not touchin' the ground?
Pinkie Pie: Freaky-deaky!
Gloriosa Daisy: I have an announcement to make! Filthy Rich wants this to be the last session of Camp Everfree. But don't worry, I've got this!
[sounds of magic and rapid thorn growth]
[screams]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! We literally just finished building that!
[Gloriosa Daisy]
I have waited for the day
To send this greedy wolf away
Now the magic is my salvation
Gather close in my protection
We... will... stand for Everfree!
Behold the beauty of nature in all its glory
No need to fear the vultures at the door
Right here you have me to protect you
Within these walls of thorns
Forever free, forevermore!
They have come into our domain
Here to seal our camp in chains
But we have held it for generations
This is just a complication
We... will... stand for Everfree!
Trust in me, this is for your own good
Don't be afraid, nature is our friend
All of this beauty that surrounds us
Every lovely bloom designed to defend
Let them come, just let them try!
I'm not about to say goodbye!
This camp will be here throughout the ages
Written into the history pages
We... will... stand for Everfree!
Fluttershy: Oh, why do these kinds of things always happen to us?
Rarity: What are we going to do?
Rainbow Dash: What we always do! Save the day!
The Equestria Girls: [agree]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! This is gonna be so much fun! I only wish we had time to make superhero capes!
Rarity: Oh, me, too!
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Enough about our wardrobe! We've got to stop Gloriosa from trapping everybody in here!
[screams]
[magic and rapid growth noises]
Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops: [scream]
[magic noises]
Rarity: [grunts]
[knocking on the ground]
[gophers chattering]
Fluttershy: Um, hi. Do you think you can give us a hand— um, er, paw? We could really use a way out.
[gophers chattering]
[zooming]
Applejack: [grunts] Hmph.
[gophers chattering]
[magical explosions]
[crunch]
Applejack: [yelps]
Rainbow Dash: [struggling]
[magical explosion]
[bigger magical explosion]
Applejack: This isn't working! Her magic is too strong!
Spike: [growls]
Sunset Shimmer: Nice work, Spike! [grunts] Twilight, you have to use your magic!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think I can lift something that big.
Sunset Shimmer: It's our only chance of getting out of here and helping our friends!
[sounds of magic]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] [sighs]
Gloriosa Daisy: Why are you fighting me?! I'm doing this to save our camp! I'm doing this for you!
Rarity: [chuckles nervously] Gloriosa, let's just think about this for a moment, shall we? I mean, I think Camp Everfree is absolutely delightful, but I just don't know that I'm quite ready to give up my weekly trips to the spa.
Gloriosa Daisy: [sweetly] To the spa...? [enraged] To the spa?!
Rainbow Dash: [yelps]
[bowling strike SFX]
Timber Spruce: Gloriosa, this isn't the way!
Gloriosa Daisy: I appreciate your concern, Timber, but I got this!
Timber Spruce: Agh! No, you don't!
Sunset Shimmer: [grunts] Twilight, do you think you can use your magic?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't want to use too much. Midnight Sparkle could take over.
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, our friends are in there!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay.
Timber Spruce: Please, Gloriosa! What you're doing is crazy! You have to listen to me!
Sunset Shimmer: That isn't Gloriosa.
Rarity: Twilight!
Applejack: Sunset!
Rainbow Dash: You're okay!
Sunset Shimmer: That isn't your sister. It's someone who's been consumed by Equestrian magic.
Timber Spruce: Whoever you are, you have to let my sister go! Please, Gloriosa, come back! I need you! Gloriosa!
[electricity crackling]
Twilight Sparkle: [huffs]
Applejack: Rarity!
Rarity: [grunts] I can't keep this up forever!
Sunset Shimmer: [to Twilight] It's up to you. You can use your magic to pull the brambles apart!
Twilight Sparkle: No. There's too many of them. It would take too much magic. I can't!
Sunset Shimmer: It's the only way! You have to embrace the magic inside you!
Twilight Sparkle: What if she takes over? What if instead of saving everyone, I turn into Midnight Sparkle and only make things worse?
Sunset Shimmer: That won't happen! We won't let it.
[shield cracking]
[magic noises]
Rarity: Agh!
Sunset Shimmer: Come on, Twilight! You have to be stronger than she is!
Midnight Sparkle: [laughs] You will never control me! I will always be a part of you!
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpers] Noooo!
Sunset Shimmer's voice: Twilight, listen to me! You are in charge!
Rarity's voice: You are a light, darling! A force for good!
Rainbow Dash's voice: Yeah! You can kick the darkness's butt!
Pinkie Pie's voice: We're here for you, Twilight!
Applejack's voice: And we'll be here, no matter what!
Fluttershy's voice: We believe in you!
Sunset Shimmer's voice: You... are not... Midnight Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: No! I... am... Twilight Sparkle! And the magic I carry inside me is... the Magic of Friendship!
[shatter]
Gloriosa Daisy: No! Stop!
[gigantic explosion]
[campers rejoice]
Timber Spruce: Gloriosa?
[magic sound]
Gloriosa Daisy: What... What happened?
Timber Spruce: It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
[cheering]
Spike: You did it! Whoa. Nice bling.
Applejack: What... What are these?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure. But clearly we have some kind of connection to them.
Rarity: I almost don't care what they are. They are gorgeous! [gasps] And will totally go with the other collection I was working on for the camp fashion show! [giggles] That's probably cancelled, isn't it?
Gloriosa Daisy: I am so sorry. I only wanted this to be the best week Camp Everfree has ever had, and instead I've made it the worst. Maybe it's for the best that I'm losing the camp to Filthy Rich.
Principal Celestia: No. It's not. This camp has meant so much to so many people, my sister and me included.
Vice Principal Luna: Why do you think we wanted our students to come here?
Twilight Sparkle: We can't let Filthy Rich take this place away! If camp meant so much to you two, maybe it meant as much to the other campers who came here in years past.
Sunset Shimmer: And maybe we can get them to help save it!
Applejack: Oh! Like a fundraiser?
Rarity: Or a ball?!
Rainbow Dash: Our band could play!
Fluttershy: I could help write a new song just for the occasion!
[students agreeing]
Gloriosa Daisy: Those are all good ideas, but where would we hold it?
Sunset Shimmer: We could hold it in the crystal cave!
Rarity: [gasps] A Crystal Ball! I love it!
Gloriosa Daisy: I admire everyone's enthusiasm. Really, I do. But I-I just don't know how we're going to plan a ball by tomorrow and invite everyone.
Equestria Girls: We got this!
[Twilight Sparkle]
I used to think that stories were just that
Set in stone, concrete as a fact
It didn't dawn on me
That I could change history
[Sunset Shimmer]
Now I know I'm writing my own song
Fight my way to the ending that I want
I'll turn a tragedy
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
Into an epic fantasy
[The Rainbooms]
Hey, hey, hey
You can be a hero (hero) too
Oh-oh-oh
Take my hand, I'm here for you
Come away with me
Be the legend you were meant to be
You'll always be Everfree
Oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah
To be the legend you were meant to be
Oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah
To be the legend you were meant to be
[Fluttershy]
There was a time when fear would hold me down
'Cause I let it chain me to the ground
[Rainbow Dash]
Look at me now, I'm soaring high
It's never boring in the sky
[Applejack]
When I know I've got friends on my side
Whatever trials, I'll take them all in stride
[Rarity]
Together we will shine so bright
A radiant brilliance in the night
[The Rainbooms]
Hey, hey, hey
You can be a hero (hero) too
Oh-oh-oh
Take my hand, I'm here for you
Come away with me
Be the legend you were meant to be
You'll always be Everfree
Oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah
To be the legend you were meant to be
Oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah, ah-oh, oo-wah
To be the legend you were meant to be!
[cheering]
Gloriosa Daisy: Thank you all so much for coming! And for helping us raise enough money to... save Camp Everfree!
[cheering]
Gloriosa Daisy: [to Rainbooms] Thank you. For everything. Oh, if I'd just asked for help in the first place...
Rainbow Dash: Hey, don't sweat it, it's kinda what we do.
[chatter]
Timber Spruce: Not to brag or anything, but it's pretty cool how I saved all those campers from those Rubus fruticosus.
[beat]
Timber Spruce: Blackberry brambles.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm familiar with the genus. It's just a little weird you say you saved the campers. I thought I saved them.
Timber Spruce: Yeah. But I saved you from falling on the docks so that you could save the campers. So technically, it was all me.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] I'm really glad I met you.
Timber Spruce: Uh-oh.
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Timber Spruce: That sounds like a goodbye. And here I was hoping we'd still be able to hang out. Maybe get dinner and catch a movie?
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah. I'd really like that.
Timber Spruce: Oh, good! I was hoping that's what this meant.
[sweeping romantic music]
Gloriosa Daisy: Oh, uh... [chuckles nervously] Sorry. I need to borrow Timber. There are some donors I really want him to meet. They were good friends with Mom and Dad.
Timber Spruce: Save me a dance, okay?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Rarity: Adorable.
Sunset Shimmer: He does seem like a pretty cool guy.
Rainbow Dash: You know what else is cool? Our awesome new superpowers!
[zoom]
Rainbow Dash: I handed out, like, four hundred fliers, set up the stage, and still had time to pick up pizza! I love my super-speed!
Sunset Shimmer: About that. I think the crystals are the source of the superpowers.
Fluttershy: You're not gonna ask us to give them up, are you?
Sunset Shimmer: No. In fact, I think maybe we were meant to have them all along.
Twilight Sparkle: Me, too.
The Equestria Girls: [agreement]
[slurping]
Sunset Shimmer: There is one thing I'm still wondering about, though.
Twilight Sparkle: What's that?
Sunset Shimmer: Where did the magic that hit this cave come from?
[magic noises]
[Sunset Shimmer]
Somewhere's a book
With chapters still blank
[Main cast]
Insi-i-ide
[Rarity]
It's the book of our lives
And the story is ours
[Main cast]
To write
[Sunset Shimmer]
Ours to write
[Applejack]
Some pages fade
While others are black
[Main cast]
And whi-i-ite
[Fluttershy]
And the story begins
Again every time
[Main cast]
We try
[Applejack]
Every time we try
[Main cast]
And hope shines eternal
And friends are all I need (Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: All I need)
And hope shines eternal (Twilight Sparkle: Shines eternal)
And the future is always bri-i-i-ight
When you're here with me
[Twilight Sparkle]
I've fought through the darkness
And come out the
[Main cast]
Other si-i-ide
[Rainbow Dash]
For rain clouds will clear
The way for the
[Main cast]
Sunny sky
[Applejack]
Way for the sunny sky-y-y
[Pinkie Pie]
I've been afraid
And stayed through the longest
[Main cast]
Ni-i-ight
[Twilight Sparkle]
Through the longest ni-i-ight
[Pinkie Pie]
But morning still comes
And with it, it brings
[Main cast]
A light
[Rainbow Dash]
Oh, it brings a li-i-ight
[All]
And hope shines eternal
And friends are all I need (Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, they're all I need)
And hope shines eternal (Applejack: Shines eternal)
And the future is always bri-i-i-ight
The future is always bri-i-ight
Yeah, the future is always bri-i-i-ight
When you're here with me
Rainbow Dash: Third time is a charm. Or is it fifth? I've lost track.
Rarity: All that matters is that the runway is finished.
Applejack: I think you mean the "dock"?
Rarity: Oh, to-mah-to, tomato.
Pinkie Pie: Let's celebrate!
[magical explosion]
Rarity: [squeals, faints]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Dance Magic

Pinkie Pie: [rhythmically] To the right! To the right! To the left! To the left! Now up! Now up! Bring it down! Spin it around! Wash that car like you mean it! Come on!
[water rushing]
[blow dryer whirring]
[squeaking]
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Thanks, Big Mac.
[car driving away]
Rainbow Dash: Sweet! More cash to add to the stash!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Rarity: [sighs] How about a little break? All of this sunshine and suds are doing a number on my hair.
All: [agreeing]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, anybody seen Twilight lately?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm here. I was just going over the numbers again.
Sunset Shimmer: Have we raised enough to make all the repairs to Camp Everfree?
Twilight Sparkle: We've only raised half. I counted the money four times just to be sure.
All: [groan]
Applejack: It's all right. We can just wash more cars. There's gotta be some we missed.
[wind blowing]
Sunset Shimmer: I, uh, think we're gonna have to come up with a new plan.
Rainbow Dash: But we're running out of time! The camp fundraising deadline is next week. And Pinkie Pie's already hosted a bake sale, Twilight and Fluttershy had that doggie day care, and Sunset Shimmer and I planned this car wash.
Rarity: Not to worry, darlings. It's my turn to devise a plan, and I already have something amazing in mind. It will be the most profitable of all of our fundraising events! The pièce de résistance!
Applejack: Hee-yoo! Now we're talkin'! What's your idea?
Rarity: Meet me in the music room later this afternoon, and I will explain everything.
Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh!
Pinkie Pie: Hee-hee!
Spike: You got nothin', huh?
Rarity: How did you know?!
[EG short theme song]
[title card]
Rarity: Oh, rats. Three hours and still no ideas for a lucrative last-minute fundraiser. Usually, window-shopping inspires me.
TV announcer: Are you a musician?
Rarity: Hmm?
TV announcer: Do you and friends love to dance?
Rarity: Yes.
TV announcer: Are you unique, cool, stylish?
Rarity: Yes, yes, yes, and... obviously!
TV announcer: Do you want to win a cash prize?
Rarity: Yes!
TV announcer: Then enter the Canterlot Mall Chance to Prance Competition! All you need is a music video of your own original song and dance. Then you could be prancing your way to first prize! Sign up now at the booth near the Aunt Orange smoothie kiosk.
[screech]
Rarity: Oh, we're certain to win!
Sour Sweet: [sweetly] Rarity! What a nice surprise! [sourly] Not.
Rarity: [gasps] Sour Sweet! Sunny Flare! Why, it's been ages.
Sugarcoat: It's only been a few months since the Friendship Games.
Rarity: Is that all? Wow! [giggles] How is everything over at Crystal Prep Academy?
Sunny Flare: Oh, things at CPA have never been better since Principal Cadance took over.
Sour Sweet: Yeah. She's going to let us have the spring dance on a yacht, if we raise the money.
Rarity: Ooh, sounds divine.
Lemon Zest: Are you signing up for the "Chance to Prance" contest, too?
Rarity: I am! Heh-heh. Are you girls here to sign up for the competition?
Sugarcoat: We definitely aren't here because we like standing in lines.
Sour Sweet: I assume you already have a video concept figured out. The competition's going to be pret-ty fierce.
Rarity: Yes, it came to me as soon as I saw that gorgeous red ruffled ensemble on the way over here.
Sour Sweet: Oh. Tell me more.
Rarity: Oh! Well, each member of the Rainbooms is going to dance in a different style—like flamenco, hip-hop, or street ballet—and we'll wear costumes to match each genre. Designed by yours truly, of course. [giggles]
Sugarcoat: That sounds like a very good concept.
Sour Sweet: Yeah, heh, I guess it's okay. If you're going for way too over-the-top.
Rarity: Thanks! So, what's your concept?
Sugarcoat: Nothing. We don't have one yet.
Sour Sweet: What she means is it's a surprise! But it's a-ma-zing. So original.
Rarity: Oh, well, I can't wait to see it. Good luck!
Sour Sweet: You, too!
Rarity: See? It's a wonderful plan. We'll write some lyrics for our new song, and we'll choreograph some dance moves. Then our video will win a cash prize, and voilà!
Applejack: You make it sound simple as pie.
Rarity: That's because it is! The girls at Crystal Prep even agree. They're making a video, too.
Twilight Sparkle: They are?
Rarity: I-Is that a problem, darling?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no, it's not. Just haven't heard much about my old school since I left, I guess.
Spike: Well, if you ask me, Crystal Prep has got nothin' on CHS! I love it here! [shudders] See what I mean?
Rarity: Okay, before we get started with the choreographing of our dance moves and [mumbling], there's just one tiny, teeny-weensey, little thing I forgot to mention.
Sunset Shimmer: What's that?
Rarity: Uhhhh... [quickly] I would need to use our fundraiser money to buy costume materials for the video!
Sunset Shimmer: Hmm. How much is the grand prize worth?
Rarity: More than double what we need to fix up Camp Everfree!
Rainbow Dash: Hah! Then of course you can use the money for costumes!
Applejack: [sighs] Oh, what the hay? Why not?
Rainbow Dash: Sweet!
Pinkie Pie: Whee-hee!
Twilight Sparkle: According to my calculations, if we lend Rarity the funds we've already raised, we stand to gain four times as much money as we have now.
The Equestria Girls: [cheering]
Twilight Sparkle: But if we lose the video contest, we'll be completely back to square one and zero dollars. Anyone else think this is an awfully risky endeavor? I mean, um, heh... Me neither.
Rarity: All right, girls. Who's ready to shoot our winning dance music video?
The Equestria Girls: [cheering]
Rarity: [laughs] Looks like I have some fabric shopping to do!
Rarity: Let's take it from the top one more time. Rainbow Dash, don't forget your cue. It's when Fluttershy does her triple pirouette, okay?
[beep]
Rarity: And... action!
["Dance Magic" instrumental playing]
Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer: [grunting]
Rarity: Cut!
[record scratch]
Rainbow Dash: Hey! What happened to the music?
Rarity: Fluttershy, it's supposed to be a triple pirouette.
Spike: [yawns]
Fluttershy: I know. It's just that... um... uh, I-I don't think I can do one of those.
Rarity: Darling, of course you can, darling. I believe in you.
Spike: How about you try "jazz paws" instead?
Sunset Shimmer: Heh. Thanks, Spike. But all these moves are pretty hard.
Rarity: Oh, I know. But if we want to win, we have to bring our A-game!
Twilight Sparkle: Crystal Prep certainly will. They're excellent dancers, and you know how they love to compete.
Applejack: How about we forget about the other teams and get back to dancin'?
Pinkie Pie: Great idea, Applejack! [imitating synth drums] It's really fun! [imitating synth drums] I haven't stopped this whole time! [pants]
Rarity: Let's take it from Rainbow's entrance. [sighs] And... action!
["Dance Magic" instrumental playing]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa!
Rarity: Oh! Oh! This is a disaster!
Sunset Shimmer: Whoops. Sorry, Rarity.
Rarity: Oh. Well, I can fix it, but I'll have to run to the fabric store before it closes. Keep practicing while I'm gone! Ahhh!
Rarity: Oh, thank goodness I budgeted for backup fabric.
[dance music]
Rarity: [gasps] Is that a disco-inspired look? And a street ballet tutu?! I don't believe it. They stole my brilliant idea!
[sewing machine whirring]
[knock, knock, knock]
Pinkie Pie: We're here!
Twilight Sparkle: We got your text. You said it was an emergency?
Applejack: Everythin' all right, sugarcube?
Rarity: Well, since you asked... [sobbing] the answer is no!
Fluttershy: Oh, no! What happened?
Rarity: [through tears] Sour Sweet... and the... Crystal... Prep girls stole our video concept! [sniffs] I saw them filming at the mall. They copied my design ideas and everything! So of course they looked absolutely fabulous. But the worst part is that they're all incredible dancers!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Major bummer in the summer! Tissue for your issue?
Rarity: [sniffs] Ta. [blows nose] Everyone is counting on me, on the video to win us the prize money for the camp. [sighs] Oh, how could I have been such a fool?! Of course, those Crystal Preppers stole my concept! I practically served it to them on a platter!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't be too hard on yourself. It's gonna take more than one Friendship Games for those Crystal Prep girls to learn that winning isn't everything.
Applejack: Eh, maybe this was all for the best.
Rarity: Hmm? W-What do you mean?
Applejack: Uh, your concept and costumes are really awesome, but, uh... our dancin'...
Sunset Shimmer: Nnnnot so much.
Applejack: [giggles] We could barely get in a two-step without trippin' over each other's boots. [laughs]
The Equestria Girls: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: You can say that again!
Rarity: Nonsense! You all looked great! [sighs] Okay, maybe not great, but, but... but it was getting there! And the point is we don't have to let them win! That is our video concept! And I am going straight to Crystal Prep to let them know that they have messed with the wrong girls! Mmm! Who's with me?!
[silence]
Rarity: [clears throat] No, n-no, seriously, who is with me? I have no idea how to get to Crystal Prep.
Twilight Sparkle: I'll go. Maybe I can try to reason with them. We were classmates once.
Rarity: That's the spirit! Come on!
[spy music]
Rarity: Okay, where's the dance studio?
Twilight Sparkle: There's a dance studio?
Rarity: Didn't you go to this school?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I can show you where the library is.
[dance music]
Rarity: Wait, shhh. That's their music. Bingo!
Sour Sweet: Hey, girls! So what did you think of our routine? Scared yet?
Rarity: Don't change the subject, Sour Sweet!
Sugarcoat: But you didn't bring up a subject.
Rarity: You, either!
Sour Sweet: Ooookay...
Rarity: You know why we're here! You stole my— our music video idea! Now... change your concept, or else!
Sour Sweet: Sorry, heh, but we can't.
Shadowbolts: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: And why is that?
Sunny Flare: Because we care about winning. Duh!
Sour Sweet: And we will, because we're just about to submit our video.
Shadowbolts: [laughing]
Rarity: You're what? [stammers] It doesn't matter! Because we are still doing our video the way we planned!
Sour Sweet: Go ahead. But there's just one flaw in your little plan.
Sunny Flare: By the time you submit yours, it'll just look like you copied us.
Sugarcoat: Except the worse version.
[dance music resumes]
Rarity: Oh, this is all my fault! All the money we raised is gone, and now we have no music video! I should never have convinced you all that we could pull this off in so little time!
Rainbow Dash: Are you crazy? We're great at doing stuff super-fast. I mean, look at Pinkie Pie. She just built that castle made entirely out of chocolate bars while we were talking.
Pinkie Pie: [chomps, gulps] Want some?
Rarity: What I want is a new video concept!
Pinkie Pie: Eh. [chomps]
Rainbow Dash: So let's create one!
Rarity: Really?
The Equestria Girls: [agreeing]
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we'll come up with something even better than before.
Rarity: Okay. I suppose it's worth a try.
[zip]
Pinkie Pie: I think it's working!
Applejack: Yeah! I-I got somethin'! Okay, so we're in home-ec class...
Rarity: Aah!
Applejack: ...bakin' some apple fritters! And then, a fresh batch comes outta the oven. [sniffs, sighs] And everybody's havin' a great time!
The Equestria Girls: [conversing]
Rarity: Wait. So basically, we are eating pastries at school in our music video?
Applejack: [laughs] Uh, I guess I'm just kinda hungry.
Rarity: Anyone have another idea?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, oh! I do! So... we're in the middle of the jungle. And we're being chased by henchmen who are shooting poison arrows at us!
The Equestria Girls: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: When suddenly, out of nowhere, the shadow of a giant beast appears!
[Ahuizotl roars]
Twilight Sparkle: Wait a second! Isn't this a scene from the latest Daring Do book?
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Oh, yeah. That's why it seemed so cool. Never mind.
Pinkie Pie: Okay! I've got it!
Rarity: [screams] Please, do tell.
Pinkie Pie: We'll start out on... the moon! And we'll be wearing really sparkly costumes. No, wait! We'll be in spacesuits! We're surrounded by gorgonzola cheese! But then, a space doggie walks over and start to eat the cheese!
Spike: Mmm! Rich with buttery undertones.
The Equestria Girls except Rarity: [giggling]
Rarity: Stop! This will never work! [frustrated noise]
Pinkie Pie: Aw, why not?
Rarity: [grumbles] Because the contest is for dance music videos, and not one of your ideas included dancing at all!
Pinkie Pie: But they were pretty funny, huh? [giggles] I liked yours, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Thanks, Pinkie!
Rarity: [growls]
Fluttershy: Are you okay?
Rarity: Okay? No, I am not okay! The contest deadline is tomorrow, and we have just been wasting time!
Rarity: [crying and sobbing] Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom. [resumes crying] Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
Sunny Flare: It's no use, Sour Sweet. Why are we even still trying?
Sour Sweet: Because the deadline hasn't passed. We can still come up with an original song to replace the Sapphire Shores one we've been practicing our choreography with.
Sugarcoat: That's highly unlikely.
Lemon Zest: Why did we tell Rarity that we already submitted our video?
Sour Sweet: So that we can still use her concept. Rarity is creative. She'll come up with something else. But if we don't, we have nothing. And imagine what our classmates would say.
Lemon Zest: They'll say it's our fault the spring dance had to be held in the boring old auditorium instead of on a yacht like we promised.
Sour Sweet: Exactly.
Rarity: Oh. They just don't want to disappoint their classmates.
Sugarcoat: But the Rainbooms have a band. They'll surely have a killer original song, and we don't.
Sour Sweet: Yet.
Sunny Flare: Face it, Sour. We're doomed.
Rarity: [clears throat] Excuse me, girls.
Sour Sweet: R-Rarity! Uh, how long have you been over there?
Rarity: Long enough to hear that you have no original song.
Sugarcoat: Like I said. Doomed. [sips]
Rarity: [chuckles, clears throat] Maybe you're not. Look, I know our teams haven't been getting along too well lately. But I think I have a solution where everybody wins.
Sour Sweet: We're listening.
Applejack: So what's the big plan you were excited about?
The Equestria Girls: [gasp, awed reactions]
Sunset Shimmer: Aren't the Crystal Prep girls using this video idea now?
Rarity: They are, yes. But so are we! Girls, you can come out now! I know it's hard to believe, but the Crystal Preppers here helped me to realize that competing against one another was getting us nowhere.
Lemon Zest: And Rarity helped show us that winning was the only thing driving us. We didn't even care if we had to steal to accomplish it.
Sour Sweet: But that's not who we are. Anymore.
Rarity: The Crystal Prep Academy girls have offered to help with dance moves if we'll help them with an original song.
Sugarcoat: Combining our talents is the most logical thing to do.
Sunny Flare: We'll make one epic music video together.
Rarity: So, what do you guys think? Are you in?
The Equestria Girls: Ummmmm...
Pinkie Pie: Best! Music! Video! Idea ever!
All: [laughing]
Fluttershy: We can start by teaching you the words to our song.
Sunny Flare: But this is just about the Rainbooms. There's nothing about us in the lyrics.
Fluttershy: Yet. Wanna help me make some changes?
Rarity: Anybody else care to work on some music?
Sour Sweet: We'll get to it after I teach you some dance moves.
Rarity: Music first.
Sour Sweet: Dance first.
Rarity: Music first!
Sour Sweet: Dance first!
Rarity: Music first!
Sour Sweet: Dance first!
Sugarcoat: The order is irrelevant.
Rarity: Oh, yeah.
Rarity and Sour Sweet: [laughing]
Rarity: Lights!
Sour Sweet: Camera!
Rarity: Action!
[Sunset Shimmer]
I feel it stirrin' deep down inside my soul
The rhythm's taking hold, and it's about to roll
[Twilight Sparkle]
A million sparkles falling across the floor
So, DJ, give it more, it's what we're looking for
[The Crystal Rainbooms]
Dance the night away
All our friends right by our side
It doesn't matter what style you bring
We're about to go on that ride (Hey!)
It's dance magic, once you have it
Let your body move, step into the music
It's dance magic, and it's electric
Let your body move to the music
[Pinkie Pie]
[rapping] Doesn't matter what style you got
Just keep dancin' on that spot
Your friends like you for who you are
Dance queen, on the scene, superstar!
Crystal Prep, you got the moves
Rainboom bringin' all the grooves
Put it together and make it fit
Crystal Rainbooms, dance magic
[The Crystal Rainbooms]
Dance the night away
All our friends right by our side
It doesn't matter what style you bring
We're about to go on that ride (Hey!)
It's dance magic, once you have it
Let your body move, step into the music
It's dance magic, and it's electric
Let your body move to the music
Crystal Rainbooms got a style that's all our own
Dancin' nonstop, body movin' in the zone
Bring whatever style you got
'Cause the party is goin' on
It's dance magic, and it's electric
Let your body move to the music
Applejack: Yee-hoo! We've got enough to make Camp Everfree look just like new!
Lemon Zest: We're having the spring dance on a yacht!
[high five]
Pinkie Pie: Who's up for a celebratory Aunt Orange smoothie?!
All: [cheering]
Rarity: [gasps] Ohhh-ho-ho-ho-ho! I have just had the most brilliant idea! Maybe Crystal Prep could use an award-winning band to play at their spring dance? It'll be the perfect way to show off your new dance moves!
Sour Sweet: That would be amazing! Of course, then we'd have a new dilemma to deal with.
Rarity: Oh, no. What?
Sour Sweet: Figuring out what we're all gonna wear?
Rarity: Oh, I already have some ideas that I'd be willing to share.
Sour Sweet: Me, too.
Rarity and Sour Sweet: [laughing]
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Movie Magic

[thunder and lightning]
Stalwart Stallion: [evil laugh] It is almost time. Once I have all three relics, no one will be able to stop me, and Marapore will fall! For I am Stalwart Stallion—!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Canter Zoom: Ugh! Cut!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry. But at this point in the story, Stalwart Stallion would be known as Mojo.
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: What? You think he wants Daring Do fans to call him out for making a mistake like that?
Canter Zoom: Let's go again. [through megaphone] And this time, say "Mojo" instead of "Stalwart Stallion", 'kay? And action!
[EG short theme song]
[title card]
Rainbow Dash: I can't believe we're really here!
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for letting us come, Mr. Zoom.
Sunset Shimmer: We promise we won't get in the way. Again.
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh]
Canter Zoom: As a fellow Camp Everfree alum, I was more than happy to afford the girls who helped save it the chance to visit the set of our little film.
Rainbow Dash: Eh-heh! Little? This is Daring Do we're talking about! This movie is gonna be huge!
P.A.: Uh, there's a problem in wardrobe. They can't find the costume Daring Do is supposed to wear in the nightclub scene.
Canter Zoom: If we're ever able to finish it, it will be. If you'll excuse me.
Twilight Sparkle: According to our visitor schedules, they won't start shooting the next scene for a while, which means we have time to—
Rarity: Get my picture taken with Chestnut Magnifico, the actress playing Daring Do!
Fluttershy: And ask her to sign my petition to bring more bird feeders to Canterlot High!
[beat]
Fluttershy: Well, Chestnut Magnifico is an avid supporter of a foundation that helps build homes for animals in need.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, okay. But I was thinking that we could—
Sunset Shimmer: Check out all the sets?
Applejack: I'd sure like to get a closer look at that volcano.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually, I thought we'd—
Spike: Find the buffet!
Pinkie Pie: And the cupcake fountain!
Rainbow Dash: I don't know what a cupcake fountain is, but I'm pretty sure they don't have one.
Pinkie Pie: Of course they do. I read it in my 100 Things You Didn't Know About This Movie Studio: Insider's Tour Guide.
Applejack: Is the number-one thing we didn't know that the guy who founded this studio was an eccentric oddball with a sweet tooth?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: I guess we're splitting up?
The Equestria Girls: [agree]
Twilight Sparkle: [to Rainbow Dash] I don't suppose you want to—
Rainbow Dash: Check out the props that A. K. Yearling designed specially for the movie?
Twilight Sparkle: You read my mind!
[clapperboard]
Fluttershy: Maybe we shouldn't bother her when she's in her trailer.
Rarity: Darling, please. Actresses love interacting with their fans.
[door opens]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rarity: Oh, Miss Magnifico! I—
Chestnut Magnifico: Ugh! I don't care if I'm under contract! This is a joke, and I want this thing shut down! Do you hear me?!
[beep]
Rarity: [giggles] She probably just didn't see us.
Applejack: Hmm. Wonder how long it takes to build somethin' like this.
Sunset Shimmer: Several weeks, I'd bet.
Applejack: They sure do go all out makin' it look like the real deal, huh?
[crunch]
Sunset Shimmer: Though I don't think the rainforest is known for its... Bon Mot peanut butter praline crunch bars.
Applejack: Better pocket that. Wouldn't want it ruinin' the shot.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] Wow! These are the three Altoriosa Relics!
Twilight Sparkle: The Staff!
Rainbow Dash: The Sword!
Juniper Montage: Don't forget the Arrow of Altoriosa! You're from Canterlot High, right?
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
Juniper Montage: I'm Juniper Montage, Canter the director's niece. What do you think?
Rainbow Dash: They're awesome!
Juniper Montage: A. K. Yearling is very hands-on when it comes to the sets and props for the movie.
Twilight Sparkle: Have you met her?
Juniper Montage: Just once when she came to check out the relics. I did get her to sign a copy of the latest Daring Do book, though. [squees]
Twilight Sparkle: So what do you do here?
Juniper Montage: Mostly, I bring my uncle coffee and help get everything ready for shooting. I've been on the set for all the movies he's shot here. Pretty much know every inch of this place like the back of my hand. [giggles] I tried to convince him to cast me as Daring Do, but... [bitter] he really didn't go for that. [cheerful] Hey! Have you guys seen the set for Caballeron's secret lair?
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Juniper Montage: They usually lock the door to that set, but I've got keys that open just about every door in this place. Come on. I'll show you.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Three lunch buffets, six different kinds of fondue, two rooms with nothing but candy, and still no cupcake fountain! Oh, well. At least we found those peanut butter praline crunch bars! They weren't in my guidebook, but they sure were delicious!
Spike: [sighs] I'll say. You think they got any more?
Canter Zoom: Ahh! One more month, Chestnut! That's all we need! I'm doing everything I can to keep us on schedule! But with all the setbacks we've had, I don't think we can do it! If you could just agree to stay on for one more month...!
Chestnut Magnifico: Unacceptable!
Canter Zoom: But—
Chestnut Magnifico: Where are my imported peanut butter praline crunch bars?!
Spike: [whispering] Now would probably be a good time to resume the search for that cupcake fountain.
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] You guys should've seen the relics. [shouting] They were amazing!
Canter Zoom: Ugh! Quiet on set, please!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] Sorry! Maybe I'll just go take one more peek at them.
[zip]
Canter Zoom: And action!
[thunder and lightning]
[crack]
The Equestria Girls: [gasp]
[crash]
Canter Zoom: [exasperated] Cut! Cut! Cut! What is going on around here? We just filmed on this volcano, and it was fine! This could set us back weeks!
Rainbow Dash: They're gone! They're all gone!
Canter Zoom: What's gone?
Juniper Montage: The relics!
The Equestria Girls and Canter Zoom: [gasp]
[clapperboard]
Rainbow Dash: I wanted to check them out again up close, and they weren't there!
Canter Zoom: This can't be happening! What are we gonna do?!
Sunset Shimmer: Couldn't you just get the prop department to make new ones?
Canter Zoom: The missing relics were personally approved by A. K. Yearling! We could have new ones made, but we can't use them until Miss Yearling has given them her official stamp of approval! You think it'd be easy to reach someone who is always holed up in her office writing, but Miss Yearling is a very difficult woman to track down.
Rainbow Dash: I-It'll be okay, though, right?
Canter Zoom: Chestnut's contract with us is almost up, and with Mount Vehoovius collapsing, and now this, I fear we'll have to stop production altogether!
Rainbow Dash: But-but you have to finish this movie! Think of all the Daring Do fans who'll be so disappointed if you don't!
Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure there's nothing you can do to—
[crash]
Canter Zoom: [stressed] I'm so sorry. Please excuse me.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... There was trouble with one of the costumes when we first arrived. A set that was fine yesterday just collapsed. And now, the most important props in the movie have been stolen. I don't think these are just coincidences.
Sunset Shimmer: Me, neither. All the things that have gone wrong on set have put production on hold. It seems to me like someone is going to a lot of trouble to make sure this movie doesn't get made.
Spike: Who would want to—?
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, dear! You don't think...
Rarity: Oh, no-no-no-no. Certainly not!
Fluttershy: When Rarity and I followed Chestnut Magnifico to her trailer, we overheard her saying something about shutting down the movie...
Rarity: Yes, but she said she wanted something shut down. We don't know that she was talking about the movie.
Pinkie Pie: Maybe she's just really mad that they're always running out of her imported butter praline crunch bars.
Sunset Shimmer: Bon Mot butter praline crunch bars?
Pinkie Pie: Those are the ones!
Spike: We, uh... may have tried a few ourselves. Heh.
Sunset Shimmer: We found this on the Mount Vehoovius set right before it collapsed.
Twilight Sparkle: It sure seems like all signs are pointing to Chestnut Magnifico as the one causing all the problems around here.
Rainbow Dash: I don't know who's behind this or what's going on, but the first thing we need to do is find those relics.
Twilight Sparkle: I agree. The relics were here earlier, and if Chestnut is behind this, then they must still be around here somewhere.
Rarity: Chestnut Magnifico is an acclaimed actress! She'd never do something so dramatic!
Sunset Shimmer: [sarcastically] An actress? Dramatic? Never!
Applejack: Well, she might do somethin' like this if she was tryin' to get out of workin' on a movie she didn't want to do.
Sunset Shimmer: Why don't Fluttershy, Pinkie, Spike, and I follow Chestnut Magnifico and see if we can find anything out?
Pinkie Pie: Let's do it!
Twilight Sparkle: In the meantime, we should look for the relics.
Applejack: Where do we even start? It's not like there's some mysterious, thievin', cloaked figure we can chase after and say, "Hey, tell us where you're keepin' the relics!"
Rarity: You mean like that one?
Rainbow Dash: Hey! Stop right there!
[magic sounds]
[whoosh]
[chase music]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] I can't believe I lost them! My geode gives me super speed, but I guess being awesomely fast doesn't help when the person you're chasing knows their way around better than you do.
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, guys.
Applejack: Any luck findin' Chestnut?
Sunset Shimmer: We couldn't find her.
Pinkie Pie: But we did find a cupcake fountain! [chomp]
Sunset Shimmer: Then we got lost and somehow ended up here. What have you guys been doing?
Rainbow Dash: We spotted this super-suspicious cloaked figure, but they got away. [sighs] They're here somewhere.
Nervous P.A.: There you are! W-Where are your costumes? We've got to hurry! I-I-I'm so gonna be fired if you aren't ready. The director wants to shoot in three minutes!
Applejack: Uh, I think there's been some kind of mistake.
Director: Wait, wait. Who are these girls?
Nervous P.A.: They're the Power Ponies!
Director: [groans]
Nervous P.A.: I'm fired, aren't I?
Director: So fired.
Applejack: Hey! There she is!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[chase music resumes]
The Equestria Girls: [panting]
[car alarm]
The Equestria Girls: [out of breath]
[door opens]
Applejack: Uh, what's this place supposed to be?
Rainbow Dash: And where did she go?
Twilight Sparkle: She must be around here somewhere. Wherever here is.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Are you kidding?! This is the set of Stormy with a Side of Pudding!
Applejack: Stormy with a side of what, now?
Pinkie Pie: [grunts] It's only my all-time favorite movie!
[beat]
Rarity: [smack]
Pinkie Pie: I've tried to get you all to watch it, like, a kazillion-billion times! I've heard they use real pudding! [tastes] Oh, they do! [slurp]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! We're running out of time! We're supposed to be hunting down the missing relics and catching the bad guy, not eating pudding!
Twilight Sparkle: We're trying. Maybe we should make our way back to the Daring Do set. There might have been some clues we missed.
The Equestria Girls except Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry! I've got this!
Rainbow Dash: I saw you come in here. Where are you?
[suspenseful music]
Rainbow Dash: [whimpers]
[door slams]
Rainbow Dash: [screams, sighs]
[locker door creaks]
Rainbow Dash: Hey! This is just like the outfit Daring Do wears in the nightclub scene. What's it doing in here?
[door creaks shut]
[door rattling]
Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] Hello? Anybody out there? [sighs, snaps] No problem! I'll just call my friends and let them know— [groans] Except I can't because security took all our phones when we got here. [groans] Help! I'm trapped in here!
[door rattling]
Applejack: We have to find Rainbow Dash.
Rarity: I don't see how. She moves so fast, she could be anywhere on the lot by now. Why she felt it necessary to wear the geode that gives her super-speed to a movie set, I'll never know.
Sunset Shimmer: I wish I'd brought mine. One touch and I'd be able to see Chestnut's memories and get to the bottom of this whole thing.
Pinkie Pie: I know how to find Rainbow Dash! Follow the pudding! See?
Spike: [sniffing] Follow me!
Twilight Sparkle: You're a genius, Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: I know!
Sunset Shimmer: C'mon, this way!
Pinkie Pie: Eh, for the road!
[clapperboard]
Spike: [sniffs]
Pinkie Pie: There's no more pudding. Which means she must be here somewhere.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? Is anyone here?
Applejack: Rainbow Dash? Where are ya?
[door rattling]
Rainbow Dash: [muffled, grunting] Help! Somebody! I'm trapped in here!
Fluttershy: Hello? Rainbow Dash? Are you in there?
Rainbow Dash: [muffled] Yes! Help! I'm locked in!
Fluttershy: It's okay, Dashie. We're here.
Sunset Shimmer: I'll go find somebody with a key.
Twilight Sparkle: Wait.
[magic sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Boy, am I happy to see you!
Rarity: Did you just make that lock unlock itself?
Sunset Shimmer: Nice!
Applejack: Thinkin' maybe we should all start wearin' our geodes around. Never know when our new magic might come in handy.
Rainbow Dash: How did you find me? I gave up banging on the door five minutes ago.
Pinkie Pie: Pudding never lies.
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, is that the costume that went missing when we first got here?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. But I didn't see the person who locked me in, and there's still no sign of the relics.
Applejack: Huh. I say we head back to the scene of the crime. Maybe there's somethin' there that could lead us to the relics.
Twilight Sparkle: Or... we could let the culprit lead us to them!
Rainbow Dash: How? I just told you I didn't see who locked me in here.
Twilight Sparkle: I've got a pretty good idea who our thief is. But we're gonna need Canter Zoom's help to catch her.
Canter Zoom: You found this in a supply closet?
Twilight Sparkle: We didn't find the relics. But we don't think the thief has had a chance to take them off the lot yet. We wanted your permission to search the Tricorners Village set from top to bottom. Maybe we'll find a clue that would lead us to where they're hidden.
Canter Zoom: Of course. Chestnut, I need you to get into hair and makeup. As soon as we get the relics, we're gonna start shooting again.
Chestnut Magnifico: Hmph. We'll see.
Canter Zoom: Juniper, can you do a smoothie run? I'm sure all this sleuthing is gonna make everyone thirsty.
Juniper Montage: Absolutely!
Rarity: I told you all it wasn't Chestnut!
Juniper Montage: [coyly] [gasps] Look! I found the missing relics!
Sunset Shimmer: Because you're the one who stole them!
Canter Zoom: She... She wouldn't.
Twilight Sparkle: She would. And she did. What she didn't expect was for Rainbow Dash to come to the Tricorners set before she was able to sneak them off to a safer hiding place. So she was forced to hide them in the first place she could find.
Rainbow Dash: Ah! They're gone!
Juniper Montage: What happened?
Twilight Sparkle: But she knew she couldn't leave them there.
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] So the first chance she got, she tried to sneak them away. Unfortunately for her, we spotted her!
Twilight Sparkle: But Juniper knows "every inch of this place like the back of her hand"...
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] ...and was able to trap us and lose Rainbow Dash.
[whoosh]
Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] For a while. But when Rainbow Dash managed to figure out where she'd run off to, she locked her in a closet with a set of keys that gives her access to "just about every door in this place"...
Twilight Sparkle: ...which gave her the time she needed to hide the relics here.
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] When did you figure out it was her?
Twilight Sparkle: I started to piece things together when I unlocked the door to get you out of the supply closet. But I knew Juniper would never admit she was the one who had taken the relics.
Sunset Shimmer: Unless, of course, she was caught in the act of trying to move them again!
Twilight Sparkle: [to Canter Zoom] Which is why I told you to send her on that smoothie run. So she'd think she had the opportunity to get the relics off the lot where we'd never find them.
Juniper Montage: But instead of searching the Tricorners set, you all were secretly following me here.
Canter Zoom: Why would you do this?
Juniper Montage: I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry. I just can't stand Chestnut! She's always eating all the peanut butter praline crunch bars, which are the only candy bars I like.
Pinkie Pie: [crunches]
Canter Zoom: That's hardly a reason to go—
Juniper Montage: [angry] And I was mad at you for casting her as Daring Do! I mean, I have told you over and over again how badly I wanted to play Daring Do, and you just ignored me!
Canter Zoom: But, Juniper, you're too young! You don't have any experience.
Juniper Montage: I know! But I thought if enough things went wrong, Chestnut would maybe back out of the movie and then... you would give me a chance.
Canter Zoom: Not only did you jeopardize the production, endanger the safety of the actors and the film crew, but you also lied to me and took advantage of my trust!
Juniper Montage: I know. A-And I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I was going to return all the props, just as soon as Chestnut quit. I hope you can forgive me.
Canter Zoom: You're my niece, Juniper, so, of course, I can forgive you. But I'm sorry to say you're no longer welcome on the set, and it'll be a [snaps] long time before I consider allowing you back here! Keys!
[tense music]
Chestnut Magnifico: Canter, there you are! [laughs] So sorry I'm not in makeup, but I've just gotten a call from my agent. I no longer have to work on that ridiculous documentary about nests next month. Ha-ha! I swear, when they approached me, I thought they wanted to do a documentary about my organization for homeless animals, [laughs] not on various "nests" around the world! Completely misleading! But no matter! That's all behind us!
Canter Zoom: Does this mean...?
Chestnut Magnifico: No more scheduling conflict! I can extend my contract and continue filming Daring Do. Hey, are those the missing relics?
Canter Zoom: Yes! And I don't think we'll have to worry about them disappearing again. And it's all thanks to our visitors from Canterlot High. First you save Camp Everfree, now the Daring Do movie. Y'all are certainly on a roll.
Rainbow Dash: Heh, heh. Uh, speaking of roles... Don't suppose you've got any extra parts my friends and I could play? You know, heh, as a reward for saving the day?
Canter Zoom: I think we could figure something out.
[clapperboard]
[action music]
Stalwart Stallion: You will give me the Sword of Altoriosa!
Chestnut Magnifico: I don't think so, Stalwart!
Stalwart Stallion: Have it your way! Hostium prihobore... [continues incantation] Give up, Daring Do! The Sword shall be mine! [evil laugh]
Rainbow Dash: [wolf whistle]
[Raiders-esque music]
Rainbow Dash: This is so awesome!
Canter Zoom: Cut! Again?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, sorry.
[clapperboard]
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Mirror Magic

[Dance Magic playing]
Juniper Montage: [groans] Those girls! Ugh! Ahh! First, they get me kicked off the Daring Do set. Now... Ooh! They're everywhere! I bet they'll be at the premiere tonight. I bet I'll be the lucky one ushering them to their seats. Ugh! [slapping and shaking]
Boss: [on walkie-talkie] Juniper, where are you? We need you back at the popcorn popper stat.
Juniper Montage: [imitates radio static] What was that... [imitates static] boss? Can't hear you! [imitates static] Losing you! [imitates static] [to herself] If those girls hadn't shown up, I would have played Daring Do! Tonight would have been about me. I would have been a star! [to kiosk clerk] You're right. They are a bit much.
[magic sounds]
Juniper Montage: [screams] What was that? [screams]
Reflection Juniper Montage: Mmwah!
Juniper Montage: Incredible! [to kiosk clerk] Keep the change. Something tells me this thing's worth it.
[EG short theme song]
[title card]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight, tonight's the night of the big movie premiere. All my friends are really excited, and I should be, too. Except I can't seem to keep my mind on anything other than our new powers, and the rogue magic that's loose in this world, and how scary but exhilarating it all is. How does it work? How can we be prepared for it? When will it show up again? Well, you see the problem. With the weight of all Equestria on your shoulders, you must have some advice on how to— [out loud] Oh, no! [sighs] Shoot.
Pinkie Pie: What's the matter, Sunset Shimmer?
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I just ran out of pages in my journal. That's all.
Rainbow Dash: Chillax, SunShim.
Fluttershy: Um, who's "SunShim"?
Rainbow Dash: That's Sunset Shimmer's new movie star name. [sips] I just made it up!
Applejack: For sweet apples' sake, we only have bit parts in this flick. We're not movie stars.
Rarity: Yet, darling. Yet.
Twilight Sparkle: There's more bothering you than just journal pages, isn't there, Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: Um...
Pinkie Pie: C'mon! Share your troubles. It might help soothe your stressed nerves.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I don't wanna take any of the fun out of our big night...
Pinkie Pie: I said spill it, SunShim!
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, okay. It's just that things have been calm around here, magic-wise.
Rarity: And that's bad how, precisely?
Sunset Shimmer: It's not. It's just that instead of enjoying the fact that things are calm, I'm constantly thinking about things going wrong, even when they aren't.
Fluttershy: Ooh, like... like what things?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know. I shouldn't even be thinking about any of this stuff right now. And neither should any of you.
Pinkie Pie: Look! Twilight's writing you back! Hey, everybody, Sunset's getting an Equestritext!
Applejack: What's it say?
Sunset Shimmer: Princess Twilight wants me to come to... Equestria.
[cameras flashing]
Juniper Montage: It's like this mirror is the only one around here who gets me.
Boss: [clears throat irritably] Popcorn spill at the condiment counter.
Juniper Montage: Does this look like someone who cleans popcorn spills?
Boss: No. It looks like someone about to fire somebody.
Juniper Montage: Ugh! [sighs] This is the worst. Hey, I know what will perk me up! A little Mirror Me time!
Fans: [clamoring] Can I please have your autograph? [etc.]
Juniper Montage: [giggles] That's more like it! [sighs] I wish this popcorn would just clean itself up so I could just stare at you all day.
[magic sounds]
Boss: Whuh? Done already? I'm shocked.
Juniper Montage: You and me both! [nervous laugh]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, yells]
[magic sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa! Oof!
[crash!]
Sunset Shimmer: [groans] Princess Twilight? Is that you?
Starlight Glimmer: Nope! Starlight Glimmer.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs nervously] Oops. Whoa. Whoa! Phew. Whoa. That feels a little weird after all this time. Starlight Glimmer. You're Twilight's student, right?
Starlight Glimmer: Uh-huh. She wanted me to give you this.
[magic sounds]
[thud]
Sunset Shimmer: [groaning]
[magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: She wanted to give it to you herself, but then she and her friends were called away to solve a friendship problem. That happens a lot around here.
Sunset Shimmer: That must be stressful, huh? Never knowing when you might be called on to save the day. Dropping everything at a moment's notice. How does she do it?
Starlight Glimmer: Sorry. She just told me to give you the journal.
Sunset Shimmer: Heh-heh. So, are you sure she won't be back anytime soon?
Starlight Glimmer: Pretty sure.
Sunset Shimmer: O...kay... I guess I'll be going now.
[whiffle!]
Starlight Glimmer: What's it like back there?
Sunset Shimmer: It's pretty different. And not so different at the same time. It's kinda hard to explain.
Starlight Glimmer: Heh. Guess you kinda have to go there to really get it, huh? I, uh, don't suppose...
Sunset Shimmer: You really think Princess Twilight would be okay with that?
Starlight Glimmer: I don't know for sure that she wouldn't be okay with it.
Sunset Shimmer: That's not a particularly compelling argument.
Starlight Glimmer: She wants me to learn as much as I can about friendship. And I'm not learning a whole lot just hanging out here in her castle.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, I haven't ever seen you in that world. So chances are you aren't gonna run into yourself.
Starlight Glimmer: ...is something you don't hear everyday.
Sunset Shimmer: So, just lay low. Don't draw too much attention to your—
Starlight Glimmer: [scoffs] You'll barely even notice I'm there!
Sunset Shimmer: Introducing you to my friends could be a nice distraction.
Starlight Glimmer: But you'll also totally notice I'm there, and it will keep your mind off of other things that might be bothering you. So? What do you think? Can I go back with you?!
Sunset Shimmer: Hmmm...
[Crystal Mirror activates]
[magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: [groaning] What happened?
Sunset Shimmer: It's all pretty weird at first, but try to roll with it. [to "Tennis Match"] Hi!
Starlight Glimmer: Are these?
Sunset Shimmer: Hands.
Starlight Glimmer: And what happened to the rest of my hoo—
Sunset Shimmer: Feet! Those are feet. Remember the whole thing where I said you need to lay low? Now would be a good time to play it cool.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. Right. Heh. Play it cool. Heh-heh.
[jaunty music]
[students chattering]
Starlight Glimmer: You did say I'd make a good distraction.
Juniper Montage: Mirror, pick up this popcorn!
[beat]
Juniper Montage: Mirror, I command thee, pick upeth this poppage of corn!
[beat]
Juniper Montage: Ugh! Why won't this thing work anymore?
Patron: Like... we were gonna eat some of that.
Juniper Montage: Mirror, make these annoying people go away. Well, that kinda worked...
Pinkie Pie: Juniper Montage?!
Juniper Montage: Whoa!
Applejack: What in the blazes are you doin' here?
Pinkie Pie: Were you invited to the Daring Do premiere? Ooh, that's exciting! No, crazy! No, concerning! No! Just no! No offense.
Juniper Montage: I wasn't invited to the premiere. My uncle Canter Zoom felt bad for firing me, so he pulled some strings and got me this job.
Fluttershy: You work here?
Juniper Montage: As little as possible.
Rainbow Dash: Y'know, if you hadn't tried to sabotage the movie, you could be celebrating with us.
Juniper Montage: Ooh! This should be my night! I would have found a way to be in the film if you all had stayed out of it! I would have been Daring Do! Everyone would've loved me! See?
The Equestria Girls: [confused reactions]
Juniper Montage: Can't you see what's right under your noses? Ugh! I wish you'd all just go away and leave me alone!
[magic sounds]
The Equestria Girls: [screaming]
[sinister music]
Juniper Montage: Hmm. Looks like I may be finally getting the hang of this.
Reflection Juniper Montage: [giggles] Hi, me!
Sunset Shimmer: Six cell phones, all straight to voicemail.
Starlight Glimmer: I'm sure they're around. What's the worst that could have happened? [licking]
Sunset Shimmer: Magic is on the loose here now, and it does not work the same way it does back in Equestria. Any number of terrible things could have happened. [exhales] And lately, I spend eighty percent of my time thinking about them. My friends are probably fine. I'm overreacting. But maybe not. I can't tell anymore.
Starlight Glimmer: This is the problem you wanted to talk to Princess Twilight about, right? Because you can still talk it over with me if you want.
[beat]
Starlight Glimmer: Or you could just journal with Princess Twilight about it. Whatever works.
Sunset Shimmer: It's just... I know my friends and I have been given special powers for a reason, and I want to be ready for whatever is gonna be thrown at us. I guess knowing that is making me feel like I could never really relax and let my guard down, so I end up obsessing about it and can't get out of my own head.
Starlight Glimmer: Hmm. That is a toughie. Guess my advice would be to just trust things will work themselves out in the end. If you spend too much time worrying about the bad things that might happen, you'll miss out on all the good things that are happening.
Sunset Shimmer: Heh. Like how Princess Twilight's student is teaching me a lesson right now.
Starlight Glimmer: Yup. Like that.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs] Come on. Let's go take a look around the theater. I'm sure they're fine.
Rarity: Uh... Any clue yet where we are or what just happened? Anyone?
Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie's on the case!
[fourth wall creaking]
Pinkie Pie: Nope, no wall over here. Come out, come out, walls, wherever you are! I don't get this place! There's no walls in here anywhere!
[magic sounds]
Applejack: Somehow, some way, that dang Juniper sucked us all inside of that mirror of hers.
Twilight Sparkle: Or into some kind of limbo behind it.
Fluttershy: I think I might be freaking out a little bit.
Rainbow Dash: You call that a freakout?
Fluttershy: It's sort of a deep-down-inside freakout. Ah!
Pinkie Pie: On the upside, there's popcorn in here! [crunch, crunch] Mmm, sticky...
Rarity: How could this happen on the evening of my very first movie premiere? Of all the nights! Curse you, cruel fate!
Rainbow Dash: Not our number-one problem right now, Rarity.
Rarity: Mmm, true. But perhaps we can agree it's in the top five.
Applejack: Is there really no way out of here?
[pellets crashing]
Equestria Girls: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! [etc.]
Rarity: Oh, my heavens! What's that?
Rainbow Dash: Chocolate-covered almonds?
Pinkie Pie: Dibs!
[Pac-Man-like sounds]
[magic sounds]
[door opens]
[door closes]
Sunset Shimmer: It's Juniper Montage!
Starlight Glimmer: [surprised] No! [gasps, seriously] Who's that?
Sunset Shimmer: She's trouble. Huh. That's Fluttershy's barrette. Wait here for me.
Juniper Montage: Sunset Shimmer. I was wondering if you'd show up.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm, uh, looking for my friends. I don't suppose you've seen them.
Juniper Montage: [giggles mischievously]
Sunset Shimmer: Where are they?
Juniper Montage: I'll never tell.
Sunset Shimmer: You don't have to.
[magic noises]
Canter Zoom: You're lucky I offered to get you this job after the stunt you pulled on my set!
Juniper Montage: I just wanted to be Daring Do. I just wanted people to like me.
Juniper Montage: Everyone would love me if it weren't for you girls! This is all your fault! Ugh! I wish you'd all just go away and leave me alone!
The Equestria Girls: [scream]
[magic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps]
Juniper Montage: What?
Sunset Shimmer: I know you want people to like you. But trust me, the magic in that mirror is only gonna make things worse for you.
Juniper Montage: You're just saying that because you want the mirror for yourself.
Sunset Shimmer: What I want is my friends back. Please, Juniper. You wished them into that mirror. Maybe there's a way you can wish them out.
Juniper Montage: Or maybe... I wish you'd join them!
[magic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: [screams]
Starlight Glimmer: [gasps] Sunset!
[magic sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer!
Sunset Shimmer: Oh...
Pinkie Pie: Hooray! We're all together again!
Twilight Sparkle: But wait. If we're all together, then nobody out there knows where we are!
[flashing sounds]
Fluttershy: Um, girls...
Sunset Shimmer: Starlight Glimmer does!
Fluttershy: Um, girls...
Rarity: You mean Twilight's student back in Equestria?
Pinkie Pie: How would she know where— Ohhhh!
Twilight Sparkle: You didn't. She isn't...!
Sunset Shimmer: I kinda told her she could come back here with me.
Fluttershy: Girls...
Applejack: You really think Princess Twilight would be okay with that?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know for sure that she wouldn't be okay with it.
Fluttershy: Um, so sorry to interrupt, but—
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Check out our geodes!
Fluttershy: [sighs] That's what I was trying to say.
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Something's changed. This wasn't happening before.
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe it's because all seven of us are together now.
Applejack: Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
[magic noises]
Rarity: I'm going with not a good thing!
[transformation noises]
Juniper Montage: Now everyone will recognize I'm a real star!
[patrons screaming]
Starlight Glimmer: Okay, first things first. I need to get that mirror away from her.
[patrons frightened]
[paparazzi clamoring]
Juniper Montage: Want Mommy to take our picture together?
[splat]
Child: [screams and cries]
Juniper Montage: Mmwah! Mmwah!
"Watermelody": [screams]
Starlight Glimmer: [struggles]
[crack]
[cracking]
Sunset Shimmer: The mirror is breaking!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! If Starlight Glimmer doesn't find a way to get us out of here soon, I don't know what's gonna happen!
Sunset Shimmer: Starlight Glimmer, I hope you know what you're doing.
Juniper Montage: Give that back!
Starlight Glimmer: No! This mirror is nothing but trouble. You have to realize that.
Juniper Montage: What I realize is that you are just like those other girls! I wish you'd join them!
Starlight Glimmer: Eh... Phew! Looks like you can't make that wish unless you're the one holding the mirror! Whoa!
[cracks]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
[cracking]
Starlight Glimmer: I wish Sunset Shimmer and her friends would come back!
[crack]
Juniper Montage: [laughs] Looks like you can't use it, either!
Juniper Montage and Starlight Glimmer: [growl and struggle]
[patrons yelling]
Starlight Glimmer: [whimpering]
Juniper Montage: Give it back to me!
Starlight Glimmer: But my friends are trapped in there!
[Dance Magic playing]
Juniper Montage: Your friends stole my one chance at being famous! [growls]
The Equestria Girls: [whimpering]
Applejack: Whoa...
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering, screams]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight!
[magic sounds]
Starlight Glimmer: Is fame really what you're after or are you looking for something else?
Juniper Montage: Like what?!
Starlight Glimmer: Like... a friend?
Juniper Montage: Who would want to be my friend?
Starlight Glimmer: I would.
Juniper Montage: Why?
Starlight Glimmer: Because I understand you, Juniper. You think getting revenge is going to make you feel better, but it's not! Please, don't make a mistake that you'll end up regretting for the rest of your life.
Juniper Montage: I've already made too many mistakes. What I've done is... is... unforgivable.
Starlight Glimmer: No, Juniper. I know they'll forgive you. But first, you have to set them free!
The Equestria Girls: [screaming]
[emotional music]
Juniper Montage: I... I wish I could make up for my mistakes.
[magic sounds]
The Equestria Girls: [screaming]
[magic sounds]
The Equestria Girls: [screaming]
[thud!]
The Equestria Girls: [relieved conversation]
Sunset Shimmer: Starlight, you did it!
[patrons conversing]
Starlight Glimmer: So much for laying low.
Sunset Shimmer: I think even Princess Twilight would understand.
[sad harp music]
Juniper Montage: I'm so sorry.
Sunset Shimmer: It's okay. We've all been there.
Juniper Montage: Really?
Starlight Glimmer: Manipulated an entire town into giving up their talents so they wouldn't think they were special.
Twilight Sparkle: Overpowered by a magic I couldn't control and created a rift between two worlds, almost destroying both of them in the process.
Sunset Shimmer: Turned an entire school into my own personal zombie army in hopes of conquering a distant pony world.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! We are a really forgiving group!
The Equestria Girls: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie and Juniper Montage: [giggling and snorting]
Starlight Glimmer: [sighs] I'm so sad to leave. I haven't really had the chance to get to know all of you.
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe you don't have to leave yet. [reading] Dear Sunset, some lessons are better learned in action, and you girls are great teachers. Starlight should stay for a few more days. Enjoy the premiere!
The Equestria Girls: [cheering and laughing]
Starlight Glimmer: Huh. Think you can focus on the positive?
Sunset Shimmer: Whatever happens is gonna happen. I've just gotta live in the moment, right?
Starlight Glimmer: Right!
Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, and Fluttershy: [giggle]
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Summertime Shorts

Make Up Shake UpEdit

Rarity: [humming] Ooh. Hello, me. [giggles, smooches] Perfect! Now my visage matches my fabulous Fall Formal attire. [giggles] Okay. Who's next?
[music]
Rarity: Aha! Applejack, darling! Come sit here. I shall now transform your drab makeup look into something dance-worthy.
Applejack: N-no, no! I'm already gussied up just enough, thank you.
Rarity: Oh, pff. Kch. Ts! It's not called the "Fall Informal"!
Applejack: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Jazz it up!
Fluttershy: Um, some light blush could be nice.
Rainbow Dash: Come on! Go for it!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Eh, why not?
Applejack: [groans] Oh, all right. But nothin' too fancy, ya hear?
Rarity: Oh, I would never! [hums]
[music]
[tea pours]
[cream pours]
Rarity: [sips, sighs]
[music resumes]
Rarity: My goodness! I have simply outdone myself!
[whimsical music]
[horror sting]
Rarity: Soooo?
[blink, blink]
Applejack: Uh, looks... great. Heh. Uh, maybe just a tad less blush.
Rarity: Mmm.
[wipes]
Applejack: And, uh, lipstick.
[wipes]
Applejack: What the hay? A bit of the eyeshadow too while you're at it.
Rarity: Mmm.
[wipes]
Applejack: A little more.
[wipes]
Applejack: Wow! Ha-ha! You were right, Rarity! You really are great at this! Heh. Thanks.
[clatter]
Rarity: It was nothing...

A Photo Booth StoryEdit

[dance music]
[punch pours]
Male students: [laughing]
[camera snapping]
Photo Finish: Dah! Zere is no style! Just go!
[wah wah wah wah]
The Equestria Girls: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah!
Pinkie Pie: All right!
Photo Finish: Okay, everybody! Say, "za cheese!"
The Equestria Girls: Za cheese! [giggle]
Photo Finish: No, no, nein!
The Equestria Girls: [gasp]
Photo Finish: Ze fashion is there, but ze style, it's not!
Rarity: I beg your pardon!
Photo Finish: Vee need more silliness! [snaps] Hold it!
[flash]
Photo Finish: Zat's it!
[flash]
Photo Finish: I like it!
[flash]
Photo Finish: Zat's it! Jas, qveen!
[camera flashing rapidly]
Photo Finish: [sighs, glugs, sighs] Hydrate!
[flash]
[camera flashing rapidly]
Photo Finish: Hoo! Ha! Hoo! Ha! [grunts] Flash! Flash!
The Equestria Girls except Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[sizzle]
[flash, flash, flash]
The Equestria Girls: [giggling]
Photo Finish: [pants] Enough! Dat... vas... everyt'ink! I cannot top zis vork! I go!
[screech]
The Equestria Girls: [giggling]
Rarity: Does this mean I can keep the wings?

Raise This RoofEdit

[students conversing]
[applause]
[banjo music]
Applejack: Hey! This is the song I requested!
[bump]
Applejack: [to Apple Bloom] Care to cut a rug with your big sis, sugarcube? [laughs] Yee-haw!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Yee-haw! All right, ha!
Rarity and Fluttershy: [cheer and applaud]
Rainbow Dash: Challenge accepted! [to Scootaloo] C'mon, kid! Let's show 'em what we've got!
[hip-hop music]
[students gasp]
[country western music resumes]
[hip-hop music resumes]
Rainbow Dash: Top that, Apples!
Applejack: Oh, we'll top it, all right.
[country western music resumes]
[country western and hip hop music combined]
Apple Bloom: [whispers to Scootaloo]
[record scratch]
[funky music playing]
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: [giggle]
Apple Bloom: Yeah!
Scootaloo: [laughs]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Where'd you get that?
Pinkie Pie: Emergency trophy in the event of an epic dance-off.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: [giggle, gasp] Huh?
[tense music]
Rainbow Dash: I guess that was pretty awesome.
Applejack: Color me impressed!
Rainbow Dash: But, uh, any chance you guys wanna rematch?
Applejack: [groans]

Steps of PepEdit

[whistle blows]
[applause]
Pinkie Pie: Thanks for joining my cheering club, Fluttershy! What better way to spend a bee-you-tee-ful Saturday? I just know that when the teams at CHS hear our voices, they're gonna be so totally super-duper pumped and win everything! We just need some "rah-rah" and some "oomph"!
Fluttershy: Oh. Um, I'm glad to help, but I'm not sure my voice will add much... oomph?
Pinkie Pie: Every cheer counts. Watch this! Woo-hoo! All right, Wondercolts!
[cheering]
Pinkie Pie: See?
Fluttershy: Oh. Wow. Um, [clears throat] gooooooooooo.
Pinkie Pie: [through bullhorn] All right, fans of Canterlot, you "Fanterlots"! I wanna hear you cheer! When I say "Wonder", you say "Colts!" Wonder!
Students: Colts!
Fluttershy: Colts.
Pinkie Pie: Wonder!
Students: Colts!
Fluttershy: Colts.
Pinkie Pie: When I say "Blue", you say "Goal!" Blue!
Students: Goal!
Fluttershy: Goal.
Pinkie Pie: Blue!
Students: Goooooooooooooooooal!
Fluttershy: Goooooooooooooooooal.
[buzzer]
[whistle blows]
[cheering]
Pinkie Pie: All right! Come on, Fluttershy! We can't stop now! We're on a goal roll!
Pinkie Pie: [through bullhorn] Okay, you Wondertones! When we say "Sing", you say "Song!" Sing!
Fluttershy: Song?
Pinkie Pie: Sing!
Fluttershy: Sooooooonnnng?
Pinkie Pie: When I say "Jazz", you say "Hands!" Jazz!
Fluttershy: Hands.
Pinkie Pie: Jaaaaaazzzz!
[The Wondertones]
Haaaaaaaaaaaands!
Pinkie Pie: Wow! That sounded great, Wondertones! I think our cheering worked again! [to Fluttershy] C'mon! Another team needs us! [to the Wondertones, through bullhorn] Hey! You guys wanna join?!
[Big McIntosh]
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...
[Rarity]
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...
[Toe-Tapper]
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...
[Torch Song]
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...
Pinkie Pie: To the gym!
Fluttershy: Are you, um, sure about this one?
Pinkie Pie: You betcha! Here. You need this more than me.
[feedback]
Pinkie Pie: When I say "Play", you say "Yay!" Play!
Students: Yay!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Pinkie Pie: Play!
Students: Yay!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Pinkie Pie: [inhales] Plaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!
Fluttershy and Students: [inhale]
"Velvet Sky": Shhhhh!
[clock ticking]
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and students: [quietly] Yay!
[ding!]
Pinkie Pie: That's checkmate! Woo-hoo!
[students cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah!
Fluttershy: [sighs]

Mad TwienceEdit

[Twilight Sparkle]
I gotta shuffle through these pieces
And try to make it right
My brain is feeling crazy
Another sleepless night
A few more calculations
And I'm gonna crack the co-o-o-ode
When I daydream, I imagine
How fun my life will be
Creating my invention
And working flawlessly
When I finally make it
My heart just might explo-o-o-ode
It's so perfect, can you imagine?
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, let me solve this mystery)
So perfect, don't keep me hangin'
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, a dream come true, we'll all agree)
I wish it was as easy
As one plus one makes two
The answer's not so simple
Where is this new breakthrough?
This piece of inspiration
I can't wait to downlo-o-o-oad
I can feel it getting closer
It soon will be revealed
I'll spend my waking hours
In this magnetic field
My heart is beating faster
But time is moving slo-o-o-ow
Because it's perfect, can you imagine?
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, let me solve this mystery)
So perfect, don't keep me hangin'
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, a dream come true, we'll all agree)
Sometimes my thoughts are drifting far away
Gotta pull them back, can't let get them go astray
Here I go, not looking back
Working hard and right on track
It's meant to be, all will see
It fits together perfectly
I got it now, the puzzle's clear
Soon enough, it will appear
I think I'm gonna pinch myself
I can't believe it's finally here!
It's so perfect, can you imagine?
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, let me solve this mystery)
So perfect, don't keep me hangin'
(So P-E-R-F-E-C-T, a dream come true, we'll all agree!)

Monday BluesEdit

[Sunset Shimmer]
Wake up in the mornin'
And I pull the covers over my head
Hey-oh (Week is starting, week is starting)
I gotta get it movin'
But I'd rather stay here instead
Hey, hey (School is calling, school is calling)
[Twilight Sparkle]
My hair's a disaster, don't know what to do
But I need to move faster to make it through
This crazy morning has got me confused
(Clock is racing, time is wasting
9:00 to 6:00, brain is phasing)
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
Everywhere that I go
Everything that I do
I can't shake these Monday blues
'Cause some days, I can't find the way
Out of this haze, hope I'll be okay
[Twilight Sparkle]
Just can't seem to get it right
A cloud is hanging over me
Hey (Rain is falling, rain is falling)
I wish it was the weekend
'Cause you know that's where I'd rather be
Hey, hey (Friday's calling, Friday's calling)
[Sunset Shimmer]
I wonder what things won't go my way
Or if I'll ever make it through the day
I hope this feeling won't lead me astray
(You'll get through it, you can do it
With your gals, there's nothing to it)
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
Everywhere that I go
Everything that I do
I can't shake these Monday blues
'Cause some days, I can't find the way
Out of this haze, hope I'll be okay
[Twilight Sparkle]
Just when I feel like it might come crashing down
[Sunset Shimmer]
I can count on my friends to help me turn my mood around!
[Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle]
(With my gals, there's nothing to it!)
Everywhere that I go
With everything that I do
I'll say goodbye to the Monday blues
'Cause I've got my friends with me
And the sunshine is all I see
Everywhere that I go
With everything that I do
The world feels so fresh and new
'Cause I've got my friends with me
And those blues are ancient history!

Pet ProjectEdit

Fluttershy: [giggles] Who's a good girl? Almost done, Winona!
[hair dryer blows]
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: Wow! Winona looks cleaner than a whistle!
Fluttershy: Now she's all ready for the photo shoot.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, photo shoot?
Fluttershy: For the charity calendar. We're making it to raise money for the local animal shelter. It's gonna feature all of our pets.
Sunset Shimmer: Wow, that's great! I wish I could contribute, but—
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] I don't have a pet.
Fluttershy: Oh! [gasps] Do you want one?
Sunset Shimmer: No, no. I wouldn't even know what to get.
Spike: [barks]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Fluttershy: Oh! [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
Tank: [chomps]
Rainbow Dash: Heh-heh!
Gummy: [squeaks]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
Opalescence: [purrs]
Rarity: [giggles]
Sunset Shimmer: Awwwww...
Fluttershy: Okay, everypet, get ready for your big close-up.
Sunset Shimmer: Awwww... Wait! Got room for one more?
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] You're not a pet, silly!
Sunset Shimmer: No, I mean, I've changed my mind! Fluttershy, will you help me... choose a pet?
Fluttershy: [gasps] I thought you'd never ask!
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa, there!
[doors open and close]
Fluttershy: Welcome to the animal shelter! Oh, I just know there's gonna be the perfect little pet for you somewhere in here!
[guinea pig squeaks]
Fluttershy: They're just so cuddly. Don't you think, Sunset Shimmer?
[guinea pig squeaks]
Sunset Shimmer: Eh, not for me. Maybe something a little less... furry?
[bubbles]
Fluttershy: How about a betta fish? No fur at all. And this one's got beautiful fins.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I don't know. It would be cool to be able to hold my pet.
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. Ooh, I know just the thing!
[triumphant music builds up]
Sunset Shimmer: Hey there, little guy.
[music]
Sunset Shimmer: Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine! I'll take him.
Fluttershy: [sniffles]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: [giggle]
Applejack: Wow!
Sunset Shimmer: Awww.
Fluttershy: Oh, don't worry. You can scoot in a little, sweetie. They won't bite.
Sunset Shimmer: It's okay, Ray. I'll take care of you, okay. Promise.
[camera flashes]

Subs RockEdit

[students conversing]
[door opens and closes]
Principal Celestia: Good afternoon, class. I will be filling in as substitute teacher today!
Student: [whispering] Oh, this is so cool!
Principal Celestia: [sighs] This is quite the treat for me. I love being your principal here at Canterlot High, but I do miss my old teaching days sometimes. Let's get started on the geology lesson, shall we? Who can name the three types of rocks?
[P.A. system buzzes]
Miss Cheerilee: [over P.A., singsongy] Principal Celestia, please report to the library!
Principal Celestia: [laughs] I'm sure it can wait till after—
Miss Cheerilee: [over P.A.] Immediately!
Principal Celestia: I'll be right back, students. Twilight, you're in charge 'til I return.
[clock ticking]
Principal Celestia: So sorry about that. Now, uh, where were we? Ah, yes. Who can name the three types of—
[knock on door]
Granny Smith: Eh, itty-bitty cafeteria crisis. You got a minute?
Principal Celestia: Uh, of course.
[clock ticking]
[clock ticking]
[door opens]
Principal Celestia: [sighs] Now, let's try this again. Who can—
[thud]
[students yelp]
Principal Celestia: Who can—
[thud]
Principal Celestia: —name—
[thud]
Principal Celestia: —the—
[thud]
Principal Celestia: I'll be right back.
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] One, two! Uh... [laughs nervously]
Principal Celestia: Okay, who knows the three types—
[telephone rings]
Voice on phone: [garbled gibberish]
Principal Celestia: [sighs] You're sure Vice Principal Luna can't handle it?
Voice on phone: [garbled gibberish]
Principal Celestia: [sighs] I'll be right there. [to students, sighs] Won't be but a moment! [laughs]
Principal Celestia: I'm back! And I'm quite certain that will be the final interruption. Ha! Now, who—
[school bell rings]
Principal Celestia: [groans]
[students conversing]
Rarity: She was right about one thing. That was the final interruption!
Principal Celestia: [frustrated noise]

Shake Things Up!Edit

[Applejack]
Same old, same old
Same old story, same situation
Same old, same old
Goin' out of my mind
I know, I know
Life's too short, gotta stand for somethin'
I know, I know
How to turn things around
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody mix it up
[tempo building]
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody giddy up
(Snap! Pop!
Clap! Drop!
Dance! Move!
Mix! Bop!
Snap! Pop!
Clap! Drop!
Dance! Move!
Mix! Bop!
Dance! Move! Mix! Bop!
Dance! Move! Mix! Bop!
Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop
Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop)
DROP!
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody mix it up
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody giddy up
Rock... Roll...
Mix... Move...
Snap...
Spin...
Yeeeeee...
HOOOOOOOO!
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Have another, have another)
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody mix it up
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody giddy up
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody mix it up
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Drop the beat now
Shake things up now
Spice it up, stir it up
Everybody giddy up!
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)
(Dance, move, mix, bop, have another)

The Art of FriendshipEdit

Pinkie Pie: I just don't know! There are so many splendiferous things I could paint, but I'm drawing a blank!
Sunset Shimmer: You just need to find some inspiration, that's all. Get those creative juices flowing.
Pinkie Pie: You're absolutely right, Sunset Shimmer!
Pinkie Pie: [slurps]
[pause]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Still no ideas. Are you sure that these are the creative juices?
Pinkie Pie: Sunset Shimmer said that all the greatest artists find inspiration in nature. Maybe this will help me think of something. [sighs]
[pause]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Nope.
[birds chirping]
Pinkie Pie: Ooooh! You birdies are right! I have to get even more in tune with nature to really be inspired by it!
[birds chirping]
Pinkie Pie: Chirp! Chirp!
[birds chirping]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Pleh!
Pinkie Pie: There's nothing more inspirational than a sweet tune or a bangin' beat! And a one, two, a one-two-three!
[speed drumming]
[cymbals crashing]
[tapping]
[discordant piano chord]
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
[tapping continues]
[rumbling]
Sunset Shimmer: [loudly] So, uh, Pinkie! Any luck finding inspiration?
Pinkie Pie: [stops tapping] What? Oh! No. But I do have a tummy full of fruit juice, feathers in my hair, and a headache! Heh.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, when all else fails, I usually just paint a subject that I think is awesome. Something that makes me really happy. Like these bright sunflowers.
[whimsical music]
Pinkie Pie: Of course! I've got it! It's been right in front of me all along!
[music]
[paint splattering]
Pinkie Pie: Woooo-hoo-hoo! [giggling] Yeah!
[splash!]
Pinkie Pie: When you said to paint a subject that's totally awesome and makes me happy, I thought of something right away! Ta-da! I painted you, Sunset!
Sunset Shimmer: Yes, Pinkie. Yes, you did.
Pinkie Pie: Do you like it?
Sunset Shimmer: It's... inspired. Can I paint you next?
[squish]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]

The Canterlot Movie ClubEdit

Apple Bloom: I'm so glad we could get together for another meetin' of the CMC.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: The Canterlot Movie Club! [laughs]
Scootaloo: Doesn't even feel like we've seen the new Daring Do movie five times already!
Sweetie Belle: I know! That's because there are so many awesome new details to notice every time we watch it!
Apple Bloom: Should we go get seats then?
Scootaloo: Oh. Looks like we're a little too early.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sigh]
Pinkie Pie: Aah! Thank jellybeans you three are here!
Apple Bloom: Is everything okay, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: No! It's Gummy! He's... missing!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: I brought him here to see the Daring Do movie again because it's his favorite.
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ours, too!
Pinkie Pie: I love the part when Daring Do swings in on the vine and defeats the band of howler monkeys before breaking into the volcano fortress!
Apple Bloom: So what happened to Gummy?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! I went to buy some candy and some more candy, and poof! He was gone! You haven't seen him?
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mm-mm.
Apple Bloom: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? A missin' pet? A friend in distress? This sounds like a job for the CMC!
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo: Yeah!
Sweetie Belle: Never fear, Pinkie Pie! We will save your gator from... mortal peril!
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! Mortal peril!
[spy music]
Sweetie Belle: [crunches]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ewww! [gasps]
[coin inserted]
[crane cranking]
[game sounds]
[SFX continue]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [cheer]
Apple Bloom: Wow! That was great! Just like Darin' Do does in the movie!
Sweetie Belle: Except instead of rescuing the stolen animals from Ahuizotl, we saved Gummy from the eeeeevil puny claw!
Pinkie Pie: [mouthful] Oh, there you are, Gummy! Come on, you silly gator! [giggles] We have a movie to watch! [giggles] Thanks again!
Scootaloo: That was so exhilarating! I feel like we need to have another adventure right now!
Apple Bloom: Uh, Scootaloo? We're about to. Remember? The movie!
Scootaloo: Oh. Right.
Sweetie Belle: Onward to adventure!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [giggle]

Leaping Off the PageEdit

Rainbow Dash: This is gonna be great! A whole afternoon with just me and the best books ever written! [sighs, reading] Daring Do and the Forbidden City of Clouds by A. K. Yearling.
[lizard slithering]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Slingshot will never catch me now! The Doomed Diadem is going back where it belongs!
[horn honking]
[screech]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[bushes rustling]
Slingshot: [honking]
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Slingshot: [honking]
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] So long, Slingshot! Now I just have to find A. B. Ravenhoof's old pal, Brumby. Then, he'll lead me to the Forbidden City of Clouds.
Slingshot: [honking in background]
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
[parrot playing ringtone]
Rainbow Dash: Huh...
[parrot playing ringtone]
Rainbow Dash: Dr. Caballeron? I-Is that you?
[thudding]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting] Reveal yourself!
[rumbling]
[cracking]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, sorry to interrupt, but Applejack honked a million times, and you weren't answering your cell. If we don't get going, we'll miss the movie.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. I'm ready.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh.
[door closes]

Get the Show on the RoadEdit

[drumsticks tapping]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Where is Applejack? How are we supposed to go on tour if we don't have the tour bus she promised us?!
[horn honks]
[jalopy driving in]
[muffler dragging]
[door opens]
Applejack: [grunts] Told y'all I'd find us a tour bus. Ain't she a beaut?
[wheel cover falls off]
[bus falls apart]
[beat]
Applejack: Uh, heh heh. Might need a little fixin' up.
[The Rainbooms]
Right now
[Applejack]
We're standin' at the bottom
Of a mountain that we gotta climb
[The Rainbooms]
Now
[Rainbow Dash]
Clock's ticking, gonna need a miracle
To get it done in time
[The Rainbooms]
But hey (hey), that's okay (that's okay)
We gotta build up steam
Put our heads together, make a, make a plan (plan)
We can do anything
Time to get this show on the road
Turn on the lights (the lights)
Make 'em shine bright (bright)
Light up our dreams (dreams)
Bright as the sun (sun)
Shining like gold (gold)
Let's get this show (show) on the road
[Rainbow Dash]
[rapping] When you only got one shot
You don't mess around, give it everything you got
A little hard work, a little bit o' sweat
And you'll see how far you get
You're part of a team
[The Rainbooms]
A number-one team
[Rainbow Dash]
You got a dream
[The Rainbooms]
Gotta see that dream
[Rainbow Dash]
Now roll up your sleeves, and take control
Let's get this show on the road, oh
Let's get this show on the road, oh!
[The Rainbooms]
Time to get this show on the road
Turn on the lights (the lights)
Make 'em shine bright (bright)
Light up our dreams (dreams)
Bright as the sun (sun)
Shining like gold (gold)
Let's get this show (show) on the road
Time to get this show on the road
Turn on the lights (the lights)
Make 'em shine bright (bright)
Light up our dreams (dreams)
Bright as the sun (sun)
Shining like gold (gold)
Let's get this show (show) on the road!

Epic FailsEdit

[students chattering]
Rarity: [gasps] My goodness! Look at Countess Coloratura! They've caught a picture of her falling over during yoga class!
Rainbow Dash: Awkward!
Sunset Shimmer: Just imagine having your most embarrassing moment broadcast for all the world to see.
The Equestria Girls: [groaning]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughs nervously, sighs]
[music]
[bubbling]
[kersplut!]
[Applejack's theme music]
Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Applejack: [laughs] So then Granny Smith is hootin' and hollerin', and Big Mac comes out of the barn with his hands over his head swattin' flies like ya wouldn't believe! [laughs, sniffs]
Pinkie Pie: Uh-oh!
Applejack: Eh. Heh-heh.
[smoke detector beeps]
[sprinkler activates]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[whistle blows]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] And she passes it up the wind! She's coming in for the winning goal! She shoots! She—
[bounce]
Rainbow Dash: [yelps] Oops. Heh-heh.
[birds tweeting]
Fluttershy: Oh! [giggles]
Dog: [barks]
Lyra Heartstrings: [gasps]
"Heath Burns": [gasps] Ooh!
[thud!]
Fluttershy: [gasps] Oh, no!
"Heath Burns": [groans]
Fluttershy: [squeals]
[jazz music]
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps loudly]
Rarity: [laughs]
[leaf tears off]
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs nervously]
Rarity: Ooh! [laughs]
Rarity: Lucky we never do anything that embarrassing. Right, girls?
The Equestria Girls: [kind of agreeing]
[slip]
The Equestria Girls: W-W-Whoa!
[crash!]
The Equestria Girls: [laugh] Epic fail!

Coinky-Dink WorldEdit

[Pinkie Pie]
Put on a smile, it's a coinky-dink world
Laugh yourself awhile in a coinky-dink world
Come on, take a whirl through a coinky-dink world
You never know where you'll find a best friend
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
In a loud crowd or sittin' all alone
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
A little bitty smile has the power to start some fun
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
It's a zip-zap-toe-tap coinky-dink world
A cling-clang-shake-your-thang coinky-dink world
A wham-pow-wonder-how coinky-dink world
A fizz-pop-never-stop coinky-dink world
Take a whirl in a coinky-dink world
Life has a way of keepin' us all dancing
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
Don't skip a beat, just do your thing
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
Step on up to all the world has to bring
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
It's a zip-zap-toe-tap coinky-dink world
A cling-clang-shake-your-thang coinky-dink world
A wham-pow-wonder-how coinky-dink world
A fizz-pop-never-stop coinky-dink world
Take a whirl in a coinky-dink world
One little thing leads to another
One tiny start never stops
You've got a special magic about ya
Big smile, big mind, big heart!
What do you know? Great minds read at the same time
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
What do you say? No way! Me, too!
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
Coincidence is a joyride shared with you
(Coinky-dink, coinky-dinky-doo-wah!)
It's a zip-zap-toe-tap coinky-dink world
A cling-clang-shake-your-thang coinky-dink world
A wham-pow-wonder-how coinky-dink world
A fizz-pop-never-stop coinky-dink world
Take a whirl in a coinky-dink world!

Good VibesEdit

[Applejack]
The truth that we have come to know
Starts out small, but watch it grow
[Rarity]
Taking time to help each other
Brings us close to one another
[Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy]
Beginning now starts something new
Good deeds done out of the blue
[Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle]
Put your kindness to the test
You'll be amazed what happens next
[All]
One small word can brighten the world around you
One big smile can change someone's day
A helping hand goes farther than you can dream
Good vibes, so many different waves
[Sunset Shimmer]
Moments that you don't expect
Spirits down, you're in the depths
The world feels like it's lost the light
But little things can make it right
[Applejack and Fluttershy]
Think of all the lives you've touched
They come 'round and twice as much
[Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie]
Friendship makes the world get lighter
Blur the lines and make it brighter
[All]
One small word can brighten the world around you
One big smile can change someone's day
A helping hand goes farther than you can dream
Good vibes, so many different waves
It only takes a moment to make someone's day
Good vibes, good vibes
It keeps us growing stronger, so let's hear you say
Good vibes, good vibes
One small word can brighten the world around you
One big smile can change someone's day
A helping hand goes farther than you can dream
Good vibes, so many dif-fer-ent waves

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Better Together (season 1)


School of RockEdit

Maud Pie: [deadpan] Welcome to Rock Talks with Maud. Are you ready for rocks?
Male Student: Woo!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Me, too. I'm thrilled that you are here at the Canterlot Natural History Museum to learn about rocks, minerals, fossils, and, last, but not least...
Sweetie Belle: [snores]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] ...landforms. As you can see, our display is currently undergoing some metamorphic changes.
[crack]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] It's been rocky getting this new one off the ground, and we're all feeling... the pressure. That's a little rock business humor for you.
"Velvet Sky": [yawns]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Ha-ha.
Pinkie Pie: Good one, Maud!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Thank you. Minerals are classified as naturally occurring substances formed in a geological process. They feature a crystalline structure, in addition to specific physical properties and chemical composition. Now for something really fun. I will point to the sedimentary rocks. There. And there. There. That one. There. And there. [continues under]
Pinkie Pie: Ready for what we planned with Maud?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm.
Rarity: Let's do it!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Thanks to the rock cycle, we also have these gems. Friction heats up rocks. Baked rock doesn't melt, it forms them into crystals.
Students: [gasp]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] But all of it starts with hot magma rising to the crust through volcanic pipes. You might know it as "lava".
[rumbling, explosion]
Students: [chatter]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] "Magma-nificent." And the process of fossilization is the reason we have these dinosaur bones. Imagine, if you will, that these colossal prehistoric beasts go walking through the museum right now.
Students: [chatter]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Look at that. You don't have to imagine. "Dino-mite."
Students: [cheer]
Young Girl: As a proud member of the Maud Squad, I just wanted to ask, will you sign my geology book?
[scribbles]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Look at Maud! She's ecstatic!

A Fine LineEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Hey, is this the line for the new Tirek's Revenge video game?
Sandalwood: Yeah!
Sunset Shimmer: Ooh! Rise of Tirek was awesome! I've been waiting ages for the sequel!
Sandalwood: Whoa, whoa. Heh, this is the line for the line.
[music]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunts]
Sandalwood: Hey, it's about the quest with your buds. Not the loot.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
[music]
Sandalwood: Can you believe we've already been here three hours?! Time flies when you're with your best friends! Ha ha! Let's do trust falls!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: That looks unsafe.
Sunset Shimmer: Rainbow Dash? I thought you couldn't make it.
Rainbow Dash: I finished up early. Where is everybody else?
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I didn't think they'd wanna do this. But, hey, at least you're here.
[zip!]
Sunset Shimmer: And now you're gone.
Sandalwood: Oop! Sorry! Sometimes things get outta hand when you're having this much fun with your best friends! Ha ha!
Pinkie Pie: Is this yours?
Rainbow Dash: Turns out they do wanna do this!
[rock music]
Sunset Shimmer: Wow! It's my turn already?
Cashier: Thorry. Just thold the latht one.
Sunset Shimmer: Aw, it's all right. I got to hang out with you guys. Who cares about a video game?
Pinkie Pie: Oh! That's what we were waiting for? I just thought we were having a super-duper fun line party! I pre-ordered it for you weeks ago.
Sunset Shimmer: You know what the best part of this game is?
Applejack: Uh, the quest?
Rainbow Dash: The powerups?
Fluttershy: The revenge?
Sunset Shimmer: It's multiplayer!
The Equestria Girls: [cheer]

Pinkie SittingEdit

Rarity: I can't thank you enough for filling in for my babysitting emploi, Pinkie Pie. I couldn't pass up the last-minute ticket to the Young Designers' Gala.
Pinkie Pie: Ah, no biggie-wiggie! I love kids!
Rarity: Oh, you're a small pink lifesaver! Toodle-oo!
[party cannon squeak]
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Lily! Welcome to the best babysitting bash on the block! I have all sorts of super-fun stuff for us to do!
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: Do you want to... bake a yummy cake, or... make super-silly hats, or bake a silly hat-shaped cake?
Lily Pad: Um, I-I think I'll just sit quietly and read, if that's okay.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Okay.
[clock ticking]
Pinkie Pie: Boring! So... what's the story about?
Lily Pad: It's... It's a... It's about a band of girl pirates who are sailing the seven seas, and one day, there's a big storm and stuff.
Pinkie Pie: Then what happens?
Lily Pad: Um, they get stranded on a desert island.
Pinkie Pie: Whee! Woo-hoo! Hmm? Dessert Island! [munches] Want some?
Lily Pad: Unh-unh.
Pinkie Pie: Tell me more!
Lily Pad: Um, and then the monkeys...
Pinkie Pie: [imitates monkey screeching]
Lily Pad: ...and the crabs...
Pinkie Pie: Pinch, pinch, pinch, pinch!
Lily Pad: [giggles] ...and the birds...
Pinkie Pie: [squawks]
Lily Pad: ...become the pirate girls' friends and they teach them all kinds of cool tricks.
Pinkie Pie: Pinkie want a cracker! [squawks] Whee! [laughs, imitates monkey] Rawk! Pinkie want a cracker! Rawk! [pants]
Lily Pad: Do you want me to read it to you?
Pinkie Pie: Do I?!
Lily Pad: [reading] "The pirates waved to their new friends on the shore as they sailed into the sunset. They lived happily ever after. The end."
Pinkie Pie: [yawning] You're gonna make a terrific babysitter some day, Lily. [snores] Monkeys... pirates...
Lily Pad: I hope I'm as good as you.

Queen of ClubsEdit

[pig snorting]
Applejack: [laughs]
Rarity: Oh! [nose pinched] Whyever do you have that swine accompanying you to school, Applejack?
Applejack: It's Photo Day for all the clubs, and it's a Young Farmers' Club tradition to have your critter in the yearbook picture.
Rainbow Dash: You're lucky you're only in one club. I'm in five this year. So busy.
Applejack: Well, Young Farmers is just one of the six clubs I'm in.
Rainbow Dash: [stammers] I meant five sports clubs!
Rarity: Sweeties, darlings, loveys, it's not a competition.
[techno montage music, camera flashing throughout]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [sigh]
Applejack: Well, the scores are in, and it's a darn-tootin' tie! Gah!
Rainbow Dash: You have got to be kidding me! After all that?!
Applejack: At least between the two of us, we joined every single club at CHS.
Rarity: [clears throat] Not all the clubs.
Rainbow Dash: How did we miss that one?
Rarity: Uh-uh-uh, darlings. It's very exclusive.
Applejack: Is that my pig?
Rarity: Oh, well, of course. You can't expect me to be the president and the vice-president.
[pig oinks]

OverpoweredEdit

[garbled thoughts overlapping]
Sweetie Belle: [thinking] My science project is gonna be overdue!
Sandalwood: [thinking] Hey, a jelly bean!
Trixie Lulamoon: [thinking, singsongy] Trixie is gre-eat, Trixie is powerful...
Sunset Shimmer: Lalalalalalalalala!
Sunset Shimmer: [groans] Well, the earmuffs don't work. I'm now hearing everything everyone's thinking without even touching them! Is anyone else experiencing a sudden... uh... surge in their powers today?
Rest of the Equestria Girls: Uh.... eh...
[birds chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: Whooooaaaaa!
[clang!]
Applejack: Uh...
[clang!]
[boom!]
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Sunset Shimmer: So you have! Sorry. I just heard all of your thoughts. Can't help it.
Twilight Sparkle: Fascinating. I wonder what's causing it.
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Hi, guys! I just ran here from the soccer field in three seconds! Wait, hold on!
[zoom!]
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Forgot my backpack! [chomp] Yuck! This needs mustard.
[zoom!]
[zoom!]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Super speed is where it's at, am I right?! It's like, I can't stop because I've been getting so much done!
[geodes shimmering]
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. I may have a theory about what's going on with our magic.
Twilight Sparkle: Our geodes are all connected. So the more each of us use our magic for everyday tasks, the more all of our powers become supercharged and go... haywire!
Sunset Shimmer: Since Rainbow was using her super speed for everything, all of us experienced an uncontrollable boost.
Rest of the Equestria Girls: Ohhhhh.
Rainbow Dash: [laughing nervously] Whoopsies.
Rarity: Well, so long as we use it in moderation, our magic should stay under control?
Pinkie Pie: And our geodes will go all glowy if it's about to get whack-a-doodle-doo?
Twilight Sparkle: It seems that way.
Rest of the Equestria Girls: [agreeing]
Zephyr Breeze: Hey, Rainbows! There you are. Do you wanna go to the mall with me?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, I forgot I have to be at a... uh... a thing.
Zephyr Breeze: Okay.
Rainbow Dash: Uhhhh...
Zephyr Breeze: O...kay. That's cool. I don't... care anyway.
All except Fluttershy: [laughing]
[silence]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]

The Finals CountdownEdit

[school bell rings]
Miss Cheerilee: And I hope you're all prepared, because final exams are in two weeks!
Rarity: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, girls. We're gonna ace these finals!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Hey, it's true, no stoppin' now
You're facin' a big test
So much to do, so much to learn
So bring it, be your best
Feeling doubts, forgetting facts
Won't get you to the top
If you're gonna make it
You got to pull out all the stops
You've got to rise up to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
Rise up to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
The hard part is getting goin'
To get your mind on track
Put aside all those distractions
'Cause there's no turnin' back
But you know it just gets better
When you see the end in sight
Take it on, start going strong
You can get it right!
[The Equestria Girls]
You can get it right!
You've got to rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
Rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
You've got to rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
Rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
Flash by flash, card by card
Rememberin' all that you know
Put yourself through all the paces
Take a seat, it's time to show
Step by step, start it small
Look how much you can grow
Now you're lookin' at all aces
Take a seat, it's time to show
[All]
You've got to rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class (gotta rise up!)
Rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class (gotta rise up!)
Rise up (up!) to the top of the class
Go straight to the top of the class
And you know you can make it
You know what you've got
You've got to rise up!

Star CrossedEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm so excited for my, uh... "hang-out" with Timber Spruce. First, we're gonna peruse the exhibit on gravitational fields for thirteen minutes. Then, we'll marvel at the vastness of the universe during the planetarium show. And finally, we'll enjoy...
Spike: [yawns]
Twilight Sparkle: ...cups of hot cocoa and casual conversation as we spot constellations in the night sky.
Fluttershy: Oh, that all sounds lovely! You're sure it isn't too much for one "hang-out"?
Twilight Sparkle: No! It's all going to go exactly as I planned! Perfect, that is!
Fluttershy: I got something special for your big night. Just in case.
Twilight Sparkle: Awww, that's so sweet. You didn't...
[bugs wriggling]
Twilight Sparkle: ...have to?
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Timber! Wanna go inside and see the gravity exhibit? It's really pulling me in! [nervous chuckle]
Timber Spruce: Uh... [nervous chuckle] On account of the gravitational pull?
Twilight Sparkle: [loud, awkward chuckling] Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: But it says the exhibit should be right here, next to the statue of Star Swirl.
Timber Spruce: Maybe it got sucked into a... black hole?
Twilight Sparkle and Timber Spruce: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! The planetarium show's about to start!
Museum Employee: All shows are cancelled for the rest of the day.
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh...
Timber Spruce: Hey, that's okay, Twilight. It's not the end of the world.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] The telescope! Come on!
[clouds rumbling]
Twilight Sparkle and Timber Spruce: [slurp]
Timber Spruce: Ow! Hot!
Twilight Sparkle: Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot! Ow! Ohhh... I'm tho thorry, Thimber. Nothing's gone ath planned. We got lotht, the show wath canthelled, we burned our tongueth, and now the thky's too overcatht to thpot a thingle thtar! [sighs] And I wath really hoping to impreth you.
Timber Spruce: [nervous chuckle] Tell me about it. Now how am I supposed to impress you by pointing out the constellations of Equuleus, Pegasus, and Cassiopeia?
Twilight Sparkle: You know where those are?
Timber Spruce: Uh, I... may have done a little astronomy studying in preparation for tonight. Okay. A lot of studying.
Twilight Sparkle: Consider me...
Twilight Sparkle and Timber Spruce: ...starstruck.

My Little Shop of HorrorsEdit

Principal Celestia: Thank you for looking after my garden while I'm away on vacation, Twilight. I really appreciate it.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so excited, Spike! I even brought my own watering can!
Spike: Ha-ha.
Twilight Sparkle: This is the perfect chance to expand my knowledge of botany!
Spike: Let's get to it!
[Twilight Sparkle]
Give a little and you
Get a little and you
Care a little and it starts to show
Growing things is easy
If you just give it room to grow
Oh! [laughs] Well, hi there, little guys! How are you doing?
[Singing Plants]
Give a little 'cause ya
Care a little and ya
Try a little and it starts to show
Growing quick is easy when you just
Get some room to grow
[Twilight Sparkle]
Starting small but growing taller
All ya need's a little love
A little care
A little for you, a little for you
And maybe just a little more over there
[Singing Plants]
Give a little 'cause ya
Care a little and ya
Tip a little and ya make it more
Growing big is easy when you just
Get a little bit more!
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh. You, too? And you? Well, okay. More?
[Plant Soloist 1]
Gettin' a little isn't quite enough to satisfy
[Plant Soloist 2]
I'd like a little more, please
Can you help me? I'm a-dyin'!
[Cactus]
Please, I'll be your best friend
You can tell me all your woes
[Tree]
Shove over just a little bit
I need some room to grow!
[Plant Soloist 3]
Come on, Twilight, help me out
I'm thirsty, I need love
[Plant Soloist 4]
Over here, I need some
[Plant Soloist 3]
Hey, bud, you don't gotta shove!
[Singing Plants]
Help us, Twilight, we need more
That's the water we adore
Just a little extra taste
Don't let a droplet go to waste
[continues under]
Applejack: Whoa! What the hay is goin' on here?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know what happened! I was just watering them, and—! And—!
Applejack: It's that waterin' can, that's what! It's got magic all over it!
Twilight Sparkle: What do we do?!
Spike: Twilight!
Applejack: Quick! Try this!
[sprinklers going off]
Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: Phew!
Principal Celestia: Oh, and Twilight? Just be careful not to over-water the plants. Have fun!

Display of AffectionEdit

Prim Hemline: It's absolutely... adequate.
Rarity: [sighs] After working here for months and months, I knew I'd finally do something to catch your eye!
Prim Hemline: In a couple of days, a style scout from Canterlot City Fashion Week is visiting our shop. I need a window display with something fresh. I would like you to design and execute it.
Rarity: Really? [gasps] Thank you, Ms. Hemline! You will not regret this!
Prim Hemline: Oh, and Rarity? Don't mess up.
Rarity: Thank you for the opportunity! [sighs] I thrive under pressure. One does not become a diamond without pressure.
Rarity: [stressed] IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE! What in heavens will I do? I have tried everything – fringe, appliqués, cheese! The muse has left me!
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sure you'll have an idea soon. You can't force artistic inspiration.
[people exclaiming indistinctly]
Rarity: Another piece by the secretive street artist Flanksy. I wonder what it's like not to want credit and praise for one's genius creations.
Sunset Shimmer: Y-Yeah, uh... me, too.
Rarity: This mural is everything I want to say, but through paint instead of fabric!
[harpsichord]
[tap tap]
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, it looks like you found your muse again.
Rarity: Ah-ha-ha-ha! Yes, uh, [clears throat] it's a postmodern installation piece celebrating the creative process— Ooh, who am I kidding? It's atrocious! This window's not avant-garde; it's avant-marred!
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe there's a way we can save it.
Rarity: It's supposed to be finished by tomorrow! [sobbing] I'M GOING HOME! Au revoir, career! [bawling]
Rarity: Huh?
[crowd gasping, exclaiming]
Rarity: [gasps]
Prim Hemline: Hmm. I don't know how you did it, Rarity, but congratulations.
[shifty music]
Rarity: [gasps]

A Little Birdie Told MeEdit

Cranky Doodle: All right, kids, notebooks away. Quiz time!
[students groan]
Fluttershy: Well, hello there, Hubert. Is everything okay?
Hubert: [twitters]
Cranky Doodle: Only No. 2 pencils, got it? Okay... Begin!
Fluttershy: Oh. We'll talk after the quiz, okay?
Trixie Lulamoon: [indistinguishably] Ugh, I hate math.
[birds chirping]
Fluttershy: Slow down. You're all talking at once. What is it?
[birds chirping]
Fluttershy: Oh, I see. If you take four from that one and divide them equally, that sounds like a solution to the problem, Reginald. Good thinking.
Trixie Lulamoon: Mr. Doodle!
Cranky Doodle: Yes?
Trixie Lulamoon: The Honest and Observant Trixie has reason to believe that Fluttershy is cheating!
[students gasp]
Trixie Lulamoon: Yes! I saw her talking to those birds!
Cranky Doodle: Fluttershy, cheatin' is a serious offense.
Fluttershy: I swear I wasn't cheating. I was whispering to the birds because they were having an argument over sticks for their nests and—
Trixie Lulamoon: An argument? Sounds made-up!
Fluttershy: No, n-n-no! See, Hubert thought that Reginald was stealing from his, but I told him, "Surely, you can tell the difference between oak and poplar sticks." Right, sweetie? [giggles] They don't know anything about math, but I studied really hard for this test.
Trixie Lulamoon: Sure you did.
Fluttershy: Hey! I know my stuff!
Trixie Lulamoon: So prove it, then!
[music]
Fluttershy: Go on. Make... my... day!
[music, students gasping throughout]
Cranky Doodle: She's correct!
[students cheer]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Trixie Lulamoon: Hello? The Great and Powerful Trixie needs a tutor. Uh, which one of you knows trigonometry?

Super Squad GoalsEdit

Sunset Shimmer: [narrating] Meanwhile, in Canterlot City...
Rainbow Dash: A whole day in the big city to do whatever we want!
Rarity: Ooh, just think of the fashion!
Applejack: The food!
Pinkie Pie: The frolicking! That's short for "frosting licking"! I'm gonna get my hot little hands on the new dessert trend – the puff cake! Half cream puff, half cupcake! [shuddering]
Rarity: The city is our oyster!
[smash!]
Jewelry Store Owner: Help! He's getting away with my jewels!
Rarity: [gasps] The cupcakes will have to wait for justice!
[1960s Batman-esque music]
Twilight Sparkle: That way!
[music continues]
Applejack: [grunts]
[bicycle bell jingles]
Biker: Geh!
[bump!]
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa!
[jazzy music]
Pinkie Pie: He went this-a-way!
Fluttershy: Oh, um, excuse me, but, um, can we please have the jewelry back now?
[shimmering]
Sunset Shimmer: You didn't need to give her the jewels to impress her.
Thief: I'm... so... sorry. [sobs]
Sunset Shimmer: But now you'll have plenty of time to think about that...
Rainbow Dash: ...from jail!
[clang!]
The Equestria Girls: [munching]
Pinkie Pie: It's everything I've dreamed of!
[ending button]

Road TrippinEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Instruments? Check. Band members?
The Rainbooms: Check!
Twilight Sparkle: Directions to Cousin Goldie's party? Check. Perfect! We're a little behind schedule, but if we get on the road in the next 37 seconds, we'll make it just in time to go on stage for Goldie's party.
The Rainbooms: [cheer]
[seat belt clicking]
Granny Smith: Buckle up, Rainbooms.
[bus drives off]
[traffic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: Aw...
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. The GPS has accounted for traffic.
Granny Smith: G-P-what-now? I don't need that ninny newfangly flippatyjippaty. I know me a shortcut!
The Rainbooms: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: Woohoo! Step on it, Granny!
[tire pops]
[bus drives off]
[screech!]
Fluttershy: Um, excuse us, sorry to interrupt your lunch, but, do you mind?
[bus resumes]
[screech!]
[boom!]
Pinkie Pie: If a tree falls in the woods and then gets sprinkle-blasted to bits, did it ever really exist?
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, I love your riddles, but— BRIDGE!!!
Granny Smith: Hold on ta yer horses, girls!
[bus revs up]
The Rainbooms: [scream, then scream in slow motion]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry! I love your work!
Female Director: Tell the props department we're gonna need another bridge!
Twilight Sparkle: We've 30 more seconds!
[screech!]
Goldie Delicious: Please welcome the Rainbooms!
[crowd cheers]
Goldie Delicious: [to Granny] How was the drive, dear?
Granny Smith: Aw, pfft! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
Goldie Delicious: Don't ya go squeezin' my Lemon Squeezy, that's my favorite cat.
Goldie Delicious and Granny Smith: [laugh]
[music plays]

X Marks the SpotEdit

[pirate-themed video game music]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh? What the...? Check this out! I found an actual real-life message in a bottle!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Is it a love letter? A secret recipe? Or, wait. Someone's trapped on a deserted island? We have to save them!
Sunset Shimmer: It's a treasure map.
Twilight Sparkle: It looks just like this beach.
Pinkie Pie: Amazing! Let's go!
[pirate-themed video game music]
Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle: [panting, yelling]
Sunset Shimmer: Look! There it is! I wonder if it's filled with loot!
[chest opens]
Pinkie Pie: The treasure is a treasure map!
Sunset Shimmer: [reading] "Follow the trail to the top of the MFBO and look for the X at the end of the..." [gasps] It's a code! If only we had a... decoder ring!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that's convenient.
Sunset Shimmer: "Follow the S-H... SHELLS to the... PIER and look for the X at the end of the R-A-I... RAINBOW!"
Pinkie Pie: Look! There's a trail of shells!
Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]
[crowd noises]
[baby cooing]
Twilight Sparkle: This is the pier. Now where's the—
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow!
[truck drives away]
Twilight Sparkle: "X Marks the Sushi"?
Sunset Shimmer: Excuse me, do you know anything about a treasure map?
"Carrot Bun": [pirate accent] Aargh! Congr-argh-tulations! Ye mateys followed ye map to find the bounty of X Sushi!
Sunset Shimmer: Yes! What's our treasure?
"Carrot Bun": Twenty p-argh-cent off any hand roll, plus all-ye-can-eat wasabi! Aargh!
Twilight Sparkle: That's it?
Pinkie Pie: The treasure is a sushi truck! That's amazing!
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm... Mmmm... I like it.
Pinkie Pie: Ah... ah... tho thpithy! [breathes fire]
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]

Aww... Baby TurtlesEdit

[distant crying]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Rarity: Is everything okay, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I don't think so. I hear crying.
[distant crying]
Fluttershy: From a bunch of baby sea turtles. They just hatched and are trying to find their way to the water. But they're lost.
Rarity: Oh, no!
Fluttershy: Ohhh... How could I ever find a bunch of teeny, tiny turtles on this great, big beach?!
Rainbow Dash: Tank here is a tortoise. Maybe he could help us?
Fluttershy: Hmmm... That's not exactly the same, but it's worth a try.
Fluttershy: Lead the way, Tank!
[music]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
[whoosh!]
Rarity: There they are!
Baby turtle: [sneezes]
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack: Awwwwww...
Fluttershy: You did it, Tank!
Rainbow Dash: So, what do we do now?
Fluttershy: We just need to help them get to the water safely. Just over this sand dune, past those rocks and crabs, beyond that abandoned sandcastle city, and around that dangerous shipwreck! [gasps] Oh, boy...
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. We'll just carry them to safety.
Fluttershy: We can't! They have to make the journey on their own so they can imprint and return to this beach when they lay their own eggs someday.
Rainbow Dash: Well, then, the least we can do is help clear a path for them.
[music]
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Applejack: [grunting]
[splashing]
Fluttershy: That's it. The path is clear. Go, baby turtles! Be free! Um... Adorable tiny turtles?
Rainbow Dash: Tank? Fluttershy, look! The trail in the sand! Tank?
[rustling]
Fluttershy: Tank led the babies!
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack: Awwwwww...
Baby turtles: [giggling]
Fluttershy: Well done, Tank! [giggling] They think Tank's their mommy.
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack: Awwwwww...
[splashing]

Lost and FoundEdit

Applejack: [sighs] Summer. Ya know, there's nothin' like kickin' back and enjoyin' the—
Rarity: Complete disaster!
Rainbow Dash: Are you okay, Rarity?
Rarity: [bawling] My earring's gone! A one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable work of art! I should know. I made it. I was reapplying my SPF when I realized my ear was... naked! I don't know what to do! It meant so much to me! And... and...
Applejack: If you want our help, just ask.
Rarity: Oh, would you mind? I took the liberty of getting some equipment.
[metal detector clicks]
Applejack: Any luck?
Rainbow Dash: Not so f— Wait! I got something!
Rarity: [gasps] Could it be?!
[digging]
Rainbow Dash: Close... but not quite.
Applejack: Hold yer horses! Now I'm beepin'!
Rainbow Dash: Now that is definitely a—
Rarity: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] False alarm.
Rarity: [sighs]
[horseshoe clinks]
Rarity: Well, not to worry. We've got plenty of time.
Rarity: I can't believe this! We've combed the entire beach and found nothing! Nothing! I'm sorry I've wasted your entire day.
Applejack: Are you kiddin'?! We haven't even done half the beach! Who knows what else we'll find?
Rainbow Dash: What even is this? [laughs] The sand is full of mysteries!
Rarity: But the sun's going down. [sighs] I guess it's a lost cause. [sniffles]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, hold that thought! And this.
[whooshing]
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Got it! How's that for service?
Applejack: Uh, that's not it. Is it?
Rarity: It's... not. But thank you, both of you. I had a wonderful day just the same. Uh, I'll just take one last sweep. Guh. Ooh! Found it! Heh-heh.

Too Hot to HandleEdit

Fluttershy: Thanks for helping with the Crab Adopt-a-Thon, everyone.
Rarity: Oh, not a problem. My whole life has been leading up to this moment! Voila! Crustacean couture!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh-la-la! Let me help! Ow! Ow!
[crab snipping]
Pinkie Pie: Actually, how about I help us away from the crabs? I could get us a snack! There's still an hour until the shaved ice stand closes!
Rainbow Dash:
Sounds great!
Fluttershy:
Oh, yum!
Pinkie Pie: Cool! I promise I'll be back before it starts! [imitates feet pattering]
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Sparkly.
[splat]
Little boy: [crying]
[seagull squawking]
Pinkie Pie: Hey!
[seagull squawking]
Pinkie Pie: Still works.
[sizzling]
Pinkie Pie: Ow! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! [growls]
[laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Ah!
[music]
Pinkie Pie: Boingy, boingy, boingy! Whee! [laughs]
[snap]
Pinkie Pie: [screaming]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Nailed it!
Rainbow Dash: You made it!
Pinkie Pie: Barely! You'll never believe what I had to do to get these back un-melty.
Rarity: Right on time. I hate to say it, but these crabs are getting awfully...
Rainbow Dash: Don't.
Rarity: ...crabby!
Fluttershy: Aw. They're hot, poor things. If only we had a way to cool them off.
[music]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Do you... want this?
[crabs scuttling and snipping]
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry, everyone. I wanted to have enough to share.
Rainbow Dash: No worries, Pinkie. I got this.
[whooshing]
[splat]
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity: [laughing]

Unsolved Selfie MysteriesEdit

[laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Say, "cheese sandwich!"
[click]
Pinkie Pie: Okay, once more with Gruyère!
Twilight Sparkle: Wait. What's that splotchy thing in the background?
Sunset Shimmer: It's a sea monster. We just caught it on camera!
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on. I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
Pinkie Pie: A sea monster?! I gotta see it to believe it! But I already believe it! [squee]
[geode glowing]
Fluttershy: But I don't hear anything.
Sunset Shimmer: Something's out there, and I'm gonna find out what it is. Who's with me?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Over here!
Fluttershy: I'll go. Maybe I can hear it better underwater.
Twilight Sparkle: You guys go ahead. I'll do some investigating of my own around the beach.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm...
Timber Spruce: Whatcha lookin' for?
Twilight Sparkle: Answers!
Timber Spruce: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. I'll let you know when I have them.
Sunset Shimmer: Hurry! We have to move quickly so it doesn't get too far away!
Pinkie Pie: I'm ready! I'm not ready! Where's my floatie?
Sunset Shimmer: There's no time!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[Jaws-esque music]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! My friends! Sunset Shimmer! Pinkie Pie! Watch out!
Sunset Shimmer: We saw it! We saw the monster again!
Twilight Sparkle: I know! I saw it, too!
Sunset Shimmer: See? I told you! It was real!
Pinkie Pie: It's not only real! It's right there!
Timber Spruce: [screams]
[water rising]
Fluttershy: [sputters] I think I caught our "monster".
Pinkie Pie: My floatie! [laughs] Foiled again.
Sunset Shimmer: Eh...
Timber Spruce: [whistles innocently]
Pinkie Pie: Oh! I knew you would come back to me.

The Salty SailsEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Life vests – on. Nautical dictionary – memorized. And course – set. Smooth sailing ahead. Ready about!
Pinkie Pie: I'm about ready for a snack. Care to try a caramel cream puff?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm.
Rarity: Well, just serendipitous that we're setting sail, because I am winded.
Pinkie Pie: What's in the trunk, Rarity?
Rarity: Hmm? Oh, just a change of clothes and a coat in case it gets chilly. Also, a small folding table, various tools, a fashion reference library...
Pinkie Pie: [whistling]
Rarity: ....and a bag of gems. You know, the essentials.
Twilight Sparkle: The essentials, right. My calculations accounted for the weight of the boat, but I forgot to account for Rarity.
Rarity: Hmph.
Pinkie Pie: At sea, nothing's accounted for. Its tides are fierce yet sublime, as beautiful as they are chaotic. Cast away!
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. I checked the weather. We should expect a strong westward gale in three, two, one.
[wind blows]
Twilight Sparkle: Aah! We're going the wrong way! Ready about! Tack! Jibe! Am I the only one who memorized the nautical dictionary? Turn!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: Oh! [chuckle]
[splashing]
Twilight Sparkle: We're way off course! Tack north! Almost back on track. If only we could get a little more power.
Rarity: [gasps]
[music]
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: [scream]
[splashing]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] My meticulously plotted chaaaaaaart!
Pinkie Pie: Surrender to the seeeeeeeea! [gasps] A rock! I mean, rock ho!
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: [scream]
Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
[splash]
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: Whichever way the wind blows, I guess it's not off-course as long as you're with your friends.
Rarity: Especially if your friends have towels!
Pinkie Pie: The ocean – vast, mysterious, wild. We may never fully understand her, but nonetheless, she commands respect. [chomps] Ooh! Salted caramel! [gulps, slurps]

Blue CrushedEdit

Rainbow Dash: You sure you don't want to try it, Fluttershy? You can use my board.
Applejack: You'll be hangin' ten in no time. Twenty, even.
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no-no. I'll leave that to the experts like you and Rai—
[rock music]
Zephyr Breeze: Who's ready for a lesson in the fine art of the crush? Afternoon, ladies.
Fluttershy: My brother?!
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles] Zephyr Breeze? Since when do you surf?
Zephyr Breeze: [chuckles] Since always. I mean, look at this deck. Gladys. She's my pride and joy. She and I have been together for what seems like a lifetime.
Fluttershy: No, you haven't. You only just—
Zephyr Breeze: Waxed her this morning? Yes, it's true. See that shine? She's ready to seize the waves, so to speak.
Applejack: [groans] Let's quit hollerin' and hit the water then.
Zephyr Breeze: What's that now?
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Zephyr! Show us what you and "Gladys" can do!
Zephyr Breeze: [chuckles nervously] Okay...
[rock music]
Applejack: Whew! Looks like a big one! How would you tackle it?
Zephyr Breeze: Me? Uh, well, to be honest, I think it's best to start smaller. You girls probably aren't rea—
Rainbow Dash: Here it comes!
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [whooping and laughing]
Zephyr Breeze: [screams]
Rainbow Dash: Isn't this great? The waves today are just killer!
Zephyr Breeze: That's what I'm afraid ooooof! Aah!
Rainbow Dash: Zephyr?
Applejack: Why on Earth would you try to hack it out there without knowin' how? You could've got hurt!
Zephyr Breeze: I did! My pride, that is. Wounded.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Zephyr...
Zephyr Breeze: I know. I've shocked you all. But Rainbow Dash, if you could find the strength to forgive me and the courage to keep from hopelessly falling for my—
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Zephyr Breeze: Maybe you could give me some tips?
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Fine. But I'm only doing this for Gladys. [whispering] He doesn't deserve you.

Turf WarEdit

[baby giggling]
Timber Spruce: Ahoy, Applejack! Whatcha doin'?
Applejack: I'm the substitute lifeguard today, and I'm ready to dive in headfirst. What's the plan? [grunting]
Timber Spruce: Well, there's not much to do so far, so just take a load off.
Applejack: [continues grunting] That's not my way. Gotta be prepared.
Timber Spruce: Oh. Heh. Me, too. It's just that my time at Camp Everfree taught me to trust in myself and be confident—
[baby crying]
Timber Spruce: Someone in need! Timber to the rescue!
Mother: My baby! Oh, how can I ever repay you?
Applejack: Just doin' ma job, ma'am. [to Timber] Uh, I got here first, so I just took care o' savin' that kid for ya. You're welcome!
Timber Spruce: Ow! Heh. You didn't have to.
Lyra Heartstrings: [screams]
Timber Spruce: Oh! I'll handle this! See? This is the kind of lifesaving instinct I developed at Everfree.
Woman 2: [yelps]
Applejack: Giddy up!
[splat]
Applejack: See, this is what hard work can do.
[music]
Bulk Biceps: Help! [gasping] Help!
Applejack and Timber Spruce: Got it!
Bulk Biceps: [struggling]
Applejack: I gotcha!
Timber Spruce: I've got you!
Bulk Biceps: Heh? Hmm? [crying]
Applejack: Why are you crying? We're savin' you!
Bulk Biceps: [through tears] It's just I hate to... see you fight!
Timber Spruce: [grunting] We're not fighting.
Bulk Biceps: Really?
Timber Spruce: [grunting] You're right. We're kind of fighting. But we're also saving you.
Applejack: [grunting] Yeah. With my elbow grease and Timber's know-how, we actually make a pretty good team.
Timber Spruce: Yeah. I guess we do.
Applejack: Let's do this together?
Timber Spruce: Deal.
Bulk Biceps: Thanks, guys!
[woman yelps]
Timber Spruce: Race ya?
Applejack: Yeehaw!
Timber Spruce and Applejack: [laughing]

Friendship MathEdit

[seagull squawks]
Pinkie Pie: [sipping] Ooh! Rarity left her Canterlot Beat magazine here! Ooh, look! It even has a pop quiz!
Twilight Sparkle: A quiz? On what? But I haven't studied!
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Score your friendship levels: Are you BFFs for life?"
Twilight Sparkle: Okay! I'm in!
Pinkie Pie: "Question 1: What's your best friend's favorite food?"
Twilight Sparkle:
Cotton candy?
Pinkie Pie:
Books?
Pinkie Pie: That's only my third favorite food, behind cupcakes and regular cakes. [munches] No points. Oh, well. Next question: "Favorite part of school." It's... hmmm...
Twilight Sparkle:
Lunch?
Pinkie Pie:
Library?
Pinkie Pie: Nope. It's helping the janitor refill the snack machines. Okay! The score is still zero-zero. Cool! Same-sies! Last question: "What is your friend's biggest fear?"
Twilight Sparkle:
Uh... ice cream without sprinkles?
Pinkie Pie:
Is it... clownfish?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh-uh.
Pinkie Pie: Actually, mine is clownfish, but I don't even wanna think about undecorated desserts. [shudders] We flunked!
Twilight Sparkle: Flunked?! That can't be right! Are there no more questions?!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, it's just a silly quiz.
Twilight Sparkle: You're right! It's deeply unscientific. I'll do my own calculations to empirically prove we're best friends... foreveeeerrrrrrrr...
[music]
[stomach grumbles]
Twilight Sparkle: I've got it!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Twilight, your friendship equation!
Twilight Sparkle: That's all right. Our friendship is unquantifiable!
[squeaky axel]
Twilight Sparkle: It just means it can't be measured.
Pinkie Pie: Oh! [laughs] I coulda told you that!

The Last Day of SchoolEdit

[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: It's the last day of school!
Twilight Sparkle:
Nooooo!
Rainbow Dash:
Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: It's okay, Twilight. You've still got four more hours of classes. That's plenty of time to do extra credit work.
Rainbow Dash: Four more hours?! Oh, man! Might as well be a hundred years!
Twilight Sparkle: It's barely enough time to write all my thank-you cards to the teachers!
Rainbow Dash: Take it easy, Twilight! We'll be back in three months!
Twilight Sparkle: Three months?!
Miss Cheerilee: [clears throat] Ladies?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, sorry, Miss Cheerilee, it's just Rainbow Dash was—
Rainbow Dash: Why don't we watch a movie for the last class of the day?
Miss Cheerilee: Oh! That's not a bad idea, Rainbow Dash! No use getting you started on a project this close to the finish line.
Twilight Sparkle: But I still have letters to finish, and a collage to make! And maybe I should just rewrite my final exams just in case!
Rainbow Dash: Daring Do vs. the Swamp Monsters!
Miss Cheerilee: Great suggestion!
[VCR activating]
[music on television]
[clock ticking]
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: Noooooo!
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Twilight Sparkle: Um... [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Twi? Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight Sparkle!
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
Rainbow Dash: You know that summer break means you can read whatever you want, right?
Twilight Sparkle: I... can!
Rainbow Dash: Anything! We could even take a trip to the... public... library...
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
Twilight Sparkle: It's summer vacation!

OuttakesEdit

Fluttershy: Okay. All set up to make the cutest, most cuddly adoption video ever. Once everyone sees what good pets you are, you'll find your forever homes in no time. [deep breath] I know exactly what to say. I just have to say it to the camera nice and clear. Yup. Just me, Pup-Pup, and the camera. [gulps] Plus the hundreds of people who'll watch the video... [whimpers]
Fluttershy: [softly] Are you an animal looking for a home? Whoops. Oh, I mean... Take two!
[static]
Fluttershy: [more softly] Is your home furry? No, no, no, start over. Take three.
Pup-Pup: [slurps]
[static]
Fluttershy: Pets... Friend... You... Happy... Take... T-T-Take, take, take...! Oh... Maybe I'll take an entirely different approach off-camera.
Fluttershy: You guys should be the stars of the video anyhow. I'll just get some super-cute shots of you guys being your well-behaved, perfect pet selves. And action! That's it, Mr. Puppy!
Mr. Puppy: Rowf!
Fluttershy: Oh. Oh, where did Kitty run off to? Come down and play. Please? No? Okay.
[animals making noises]
[bird chirping]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] What happened?
Fluttershy: [weakly] They heard the call of the wild... There's no way I'm gonna finish this video.
Twilight Sparkle and Appleajack: [laugh]
Applejack: I think you've captured the fun of havin' a pet perfectly.
Fluttershy: [gasps] You do?
Twilight Sparkle: Certainly. With a little editing magic, this will make a great adoption video.
[static]
[sad music]
Fluttershy: [voiceover] Shelter pets... are the best!
[music gets more upbeat]
Fluttershy: [voiceover] If you're looking for a pet, these pets are looking for you!
[hamster squeaking]
Pup-Pup: [slurps]
Fluttershy: Come on down to the Canterlot Animal Shelter! Where we have the furry friend that's purr-fect for you!

Pinkie Pie: Snack PsychicEdit

[50's doo-wop music]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! This place is packed!
Pinkie Pie: Welcome, girls! Be back soon! [to Flash] Big test?
Flash Sentry: Yeah. How'd ya know?
Pinkie Pie: When you're stressed, you always order grilled cheese. [gasps] Be right back! Here! Twi can help you. She's basically a genius at everything. Especially math.
Flash Sentry: Oh, no, it's... no big deal. Heh. I mean... only if you have time.
Twilight Sparkle: So, uh... what're ya workin' on?
Pinkie Pie: Hi! I wanna introduce you to my friend Rarity.
Rarity: [gasping]
"Blueberry Cake": Uh, why?
Pinkie Pie: That's why!
Rarity: Don't worry, darling. I can fix this! Do you have glitter on you?
Pinkie Pie: [sniffing] Chlorine! [sniffing] And soup. Aw, candy corn! [to Crystal Prep students] Eating soup after the big loss at the swim meet today?
Crystal Prep Male 1: Yeah. Losers don't deserve nachos.
Pinkie Pie: That's not true! Hold on. I know just what you need!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: First, you totally deserve nachos for trying! And second...
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: ...this is Rainbow Dash! She's the captain of every single team at Canterlot High!
Crystal Prep students: [awed reactions]
Pinkie Pie: She's the best at turning today's loss into tomorrow's win!
Rainbow Dash: Okay. Here's the game plan for next week.
Sunny Sugarsocks: How do you do it, Pinkie?
Pinkie Pie: Do what?
Sunny Sugarsocks: You always know exactly what everyone needs.
[music continues]
Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry: [laugh]
Pinkie Pie: It's just a gut feeling, you know?
[stomach rumbles]
Pinkie Pie: [snickering]
Sunny Sugarsocks: Mm-hmm. I know.
Pinkie Pie and Sunny Sugarsocks: [high five] Yeah! [nomming] Woo-hoo!

Five to NineEdit

[Applejack]
Before the sun comes up
You gotta start your rocket boosters
Rise and shine, I'm feelin' fine
Wake up, Mr. Rooster
The early bird gets the worm
The sunrise makes me squirm
Oh, keepin' busy is keepin' good
Keep on goin' just like you should
Call me crazy, misunderstood
But you won't hear me complain
'Cause I got time to spare
Fun to share
My friends along
A job well done by the break of daaaaawn
So many things need gettin' done
Around the neighborhood
So, get to work and get it done
Before the gettin' goin' gets good
Most people dread the grit and grime
But elbow grease works every time
Keepin' busy is keepin' good
Keep on goin' just like you should
Call me crazy, misunderstood
But you won't hear me complain
'Cause I got time to spare
Fun to share
My friends along
A job well done by the break of dawn
Count my chickens, milk the cows
Hang those lights, I'll show ya how
Invite my friends, clean the barn
This is so excitin'!
Strum a guitar and sing this yarn!
Keepin' busy is keepin' good
Keep on goin' just like you should
Call me crazy, misunderstood
But you won't hear me complain (Yee-haw!)
'Cause I got time to spare
I got fun to share
My friends along
A job well done by the break of dawn
Keepin' busy is keepin' good
Keep on goin' just like you should
Call me crazy, misunderstood
But you won't hear me complain
'Cause I got time to spare
I got fun to share
My friends along
A job well done by the break of daaaaawn
[snoring]

So Much More to MeEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Are you sure you don't wanna come to the karaoke party, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Oh, no, Sunset. I can't. The thought of singing in public makes me... [squeaks]
Sunset Shimmer: No worries. See ya tomorrow.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Fluttershy]
Do you think the coast is clear?
No one to see, no one to hear
Me sing out my song?
I think we're all alone
I don't need my name in lights
That's not where I set my sights
No, oh-oh, no, not me
I don't need a stage to sing
I like the quiet, I like the calm
To turn it up, to sing along
I'm not just shy
Look close, and you will see
There's so much more to me
I'm just fine rehearsing on my own
My hairbrush is my microphone
Look out now, I'm in the zone
Yeah! Can you feel it?
I like the quiet, I like the calm
To turn it up, to sing along
I'm not just shy
Look close, and you will see
There's so much more to me
I speak soft out in a crowd
I whisper, "am I being too loud?"
But when I close that door
The crowd, it just wants more and more and mooooore
I like the quiet, I like the calm (oh-whoa-whoa)
To turn it up, to sing along
I'm not just shy
Look close, and you will see
There's so much more to me
I like my friends, I like my pets (oh-whoa-whoa)
I like to rock, do pirouettes (oh-whoa)
I'm more than shy
I'm more than you can see
There's so much more to me
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, Fluttershy! I came back to say we decided to go to a movie instead, but... Were you playing music?
Fluttershy: [squeaky] No!
Sunset Shimmer: Okay. Well, do you wanna come?
Fluttershy: I guess so.

The Other SideEdit

[Rarity]
Sitting here with my head in my hands
Ideas that come and go
Sketching my heart out, nothing will turn out
Everything seems so-so
I've been here before, and I know that I can
Do it if I try
But why, oh, why
Do you stumble before you fly?
My wheels keep turnin' (Oh, oh!)
My fire's still burnin' (Oh, oh!)
'Cause right now I'm learnin' (Oh, oh!)
How to get to the other side
It's a game of waitin' (Hey, hey!)
Anticipatin' (Hey, hey!)
But I keep creatin' (Hey, hey!)
So I can get to the other
Get to the other side
(Get to the other side, hey!)
(Hey!)
(Get to the other side, hey!)
So I can get to the other
Get to the other...
Keep on believin', I'll be achievin'
The harder that I go
Don't really know how, I won't give up now
Until I steal the show
With time, it gets better, I'll be a trendsetter
Doin' it my own way
Hey, hey, hey!
Won't stop 'til I seize the day
My wheels keep turnin' (Oh, oh!)
My fire's still burnin' (Oh, oh!)
'Cause right now I'm learnin' (Oh, oh!)
How to get to the other side
It's a game of waitin' (Hey, hey!)
Anticipatin' (Hey, hey!)
But I keep creatin' (Hey, hey!)
So I can get to the other
Get to the other side
(Get to the other side, hey!)
(Hey!)
(Get to the other side, hey!)
So I can get to the other
Get to the other side!

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Better Together (season 2)


Reboxing with Spike!Edit

[techno music]
Spike: Hey, paw pals! Welcome to this month's "Fancy Fetch Unboxing with Spike"! I love pampering myself, and of course putting it on the internet for you, my fans, first! #PuppySelfCare! I've decided to splurge a little this month and get the deluxe package! Let's get a better shot. Whoa! Look at this! Fabulous Fido's Faberge Flying Disk. Of course you can't actually throw it. Far too delicate. [kisses] Hmm. What other gems do we have here? Oh! Slippers to make your paws feel plush! They're encrusted with locally-sourced amethysts. Oh... my... goodness! [laughs] This is why I started vlogging in the first place! I've been waiting for a sniff like this. It's a classic white ankle sock. Cotton/nylon blend, two hundred wears deep, never washed. This ain't no dry wick. This baby is as absorbent as they get! [sniffs, sighs]
[music stops]
Spike: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Did you spend two hundred dollars on a box with a dirty sock in it?
Spike: [laughs nervously] Can't put a price on... #PuppySelfCare?
[beep]
Spike: And now, for my new show – "Reboxing and Returning Stuff".

DIY with ApplejackEdit

Applejack: On today's "DIY with Applejack", we're gonna build my friend Rarity a dream dressin' room – in just seventy-three easy steps!
Rarity: Hello, darlings! I can't wait for my fabulous new dressing room and—
Applejack: [clears throat]
Rarity: Oh. Sorry. [laughs] Promise I won't make another peep.
Applejack: Let's get started!
Applejack: First, ya need wood. So, for step one, I'm gonna cut down one of my trees.
Rarity: Ooh, just a dash of peep. How many trees are we going to need?
[video fast-forwarding]
Applejack: Step eight – gettin' rid of splinters. Now, ya have to give each square foot of the surface thirty clockwise strokes with the buffer...
Rarity: Thirty?! Darling, that seems a bit excessive!
Applejack: Yes. Thirty. And then you have to double-check those strokes by— Aw, shoot! I lost count! Well, I have to cut down a new tree.
Rarity: [yawns] Yes, this is positively electrifying.
[static]
Applejack: Step twenty-nine – paintin' your room! I chose this practical brown color...
Opalescence: [hisses]
[static]
Applejack: Step twenty-nine-point-five – paintin' your room with this, uh, very bright purple.
Applejack: Step forty-two – adding tufted button walls! You're gonna wanna be careful, measurin' the satin at least twice...
[video fast-forwarding]
Applejack: Now that you've measured five times, we can begin to cut the samples.
Rarity: [clears throat]
[static]
[scissors snipping]
[video fast-forwarding]
Applejack: We just have to figure out which of the sixty-two samples...
Rarity: [yawns]
Applejack: ...work best. [clears throat] Now the real fun begins!
Rarity: [sarcastically] Oh, now the real fun begins. I've been having so much fun the whole time. [sighs]
Applejack: Rarity! Wake up!
Rarity: [yawns]
[thud]
Applejack: Step seventy-three – the big reveal!
Opalescence: [meows]
Applejack: [whispering] Oh. Yeah. G'night, you two.

The Craft of CookiesEdit

Pinkie Pie: Welcome to "The Craft of Cookies" with me, Pinkie Pie! In just one class, you, too, can become a Certified Cookie Master! [gasps] Let's get started. [squee] Yummy! Yes, please! Tasty! You're gonna be delicious! Now, step two – making cookies! Cup of sugar, tablespoon of baking powder, dash of vanilla, pinch of salt, and for our final ingredient, two Tank kisses! [smooches, slurps] Mmmm... Cotton candy. This is taaaaaasty! [as Gummy] You've really outdone yourself, Pinkie! [normally] Aw, thanks, Gummy! Now for the not-so-secret ingredient – chocolate! [munches] Mmmm... mmm... [continues munching] [as Gummy] Don't eat all the chips! [gulps, normally] Whoa. My tum-tum. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much chocolate. [belches] Now, to bake our creations!
[kitchen timer ticking]
Pinkie Pie: Mmm-mmm-mmm!
[kitchen timer rings]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] They're ready!
[splat]
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs] What's that, Gummy? You think I've just invented the perfect cookie? Awww... And now, for the final, and best, part – sprinkles!
[boom!]
Pinkie Pie: Et voila! Two dozen ultra-scrumptious cookies for a sophisticated snack time! Until next time on "The Craft of Cookies", this is Pinkie Pie bidding you a sweet evening and a most delicious morrow!

Street Magic with Trixie!Edit

Trixie Lulamoon: Today, the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie is here to blow your feeble minds with some serious magic!
Spike: Uhhh... Trixie, everyone believes that you're Great and Powerful. You don't have to prove it!
Trixie Lulamoon: Don't worry, I got this.
Spike: I'm worrying! I'm worrying!
Trixie Lulamoon: Magic, don't fail me now! Abraca—!
[magic sounds]
[crowd gasps]
Trixie Lulamoon: —dabra? [sighs] Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the Great and Powerful Trrrixie's astounding power of telekinesis!
[crowd cheers]
Trixie Lulamoon: You're welcome. I am all-powerful.
[cameras snapping]

Sic SkateboardEdit

[rock music]
[wheels rolling]
Rainbow Dash: Hey, everyone! I'm super-stoked because today is the day! This skateboard trick is gonna blow your mind! It's been a super-intense four weeks of training. Nothing but grinding, claw-stretches, shredding, and shredded lettuce! [chomps]
[kids marveling]
Rainbow Dash: Some say it couldn't be done, but get ready, 'cause today, you're going to witness the first ever Tortoise Kicker Ramp Ollie! Time to bust out of that shell, Tank. Let's do this!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Wait'll you guys see this!
[kids gasp]
[music continues]
Rainbow Dash: [squeals]
[wheels rolling]
[music stops]
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!
[kids cheer]
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. I'll add some sick special effects later.
[boop]
[music]

Street ChicEdit

Rarity: Hello, darlings! Welcome to "Street Chic with Rarity"! A show that keeps you ahead of the curve, so you're always the first girl on your block to wear the most glittering and glamorous frocks in fashion! This week, I am bringing you the latest in summer flair! So let's get started! As you can see, Applejack has a simply scrumptious country style that really works for her. So I will just make some simple tweaks.
[flash]
Rarity: [gasps] Sometimes I just shock myself with how good I am!
Applejack: [shivering] Uh, d-d-d-don't you think it's a... pinch chilly for this getup?
Rarity: Nonsense! You look gorgeous! And oh, so summer!
Applejack: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold...
[geese honking]
Fluttershy: Oh. They're starting to head north for the winter.
Rarity: It may be fall, darling, but we in the fashion world are in summer mode. And now, so are you!
[flash]
Fluttershy: [shudders]
Rarity: She's sporty! She's stylish! And she needs a sensational summer look to dazzle all the other sports... people? [clears throat] Anyway...
[flash]
Rarity: It's elegant yet still sporty! She'll be bringing drama along with the summer sun!
Rainbow Dash: That... doesn't look like the sun to me.
Rarity: Ignore the nature, Rainbow Dash. Summer chic is a state of mind. We'll see you next time on "Street Chic with Rarity"! Until then, don't forget to strike a pose!
[plop!]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Rarity, you got anything for winter?
Rarity: Ugh. Remind me to do our photoshoots indoors from now on. [shudders]

Game StreamEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Welcome to "ShimmerCode", my game channel! I've decided to take a break from racking up crazy-high scores to introduce my friend, Fluttershy, to gaming.
Fluttershy: [quietly] Yay, games.
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, Fluttershy, your pick. What'll it be?
Fluttershy: Oh. The squirrel one.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, sure. I usually play more advanced games, but what my guest player picks, we play. This will be... easy.
Fluttershy: Time to press some buttons. Whee.
Sunset Shimmer: Here we go!
[video game music]
Sunset Shimmer: The gameplay here is actually very simple. Get your squirrel to climb the tree...
[video game sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Climb the tree... [angrily] Climb the tree...!
Fluttershy: Like this?
[video game sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Uh... yeah.
Fluttershy: Hmm? Oh. Ooh. [giggling]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: [angrily] What do you want from me?! TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED! [sobs, screams]
[video game sounds continue]
Fluttershy: Yippee! Did I do it right?
Sunset Shimmer: That was... amazing! Can I watch you play it again?

Best in Show: The Pre-ShowEdit

[dogs barking]
Applejack: Howdy! And welcome to the first annual Canterlot Pet Show! Sure is great to be here, ain't it?
Fluttershy: [quietly and stiltedly] "Sure is, Applejack. Can't wait to see all the wonderful contestants."
Applejack: Heh. All righty, then. You heard the lady! Let's meet 'em! This is the backstage area, where the pets get fresh and spiffy before the competition. Right, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. Fresh and spiffy.
Banana: [barks]
Applejack: Why, look at this handsome feller! [to Flash] Tell us about your pooch!
Flash Sentry: Oh! The dog's a Boston terrier named—
Fluttershy: Banana! [to Banana] Anything else to share?
Banana: [barks]
Fluttershy: [giggles] Banana's favorite snack is bananas, he loves his banana toy, and his favorite pastime is—
Banana: [barks]
Fluttershy: Awww! What a cutie!
Bulk Biceps' dog: [barks]
Fluttershy: Oh, really?
Bulk Biceps' dog: [barks]
Fluttershy: She loves daytime TV, is a great listener, and—
Applejack: Uh, I think the show will be startin' soon, so we should wrap this up.
Fluttershy: I think we have time for one more quick interview.
Applejack: Winona?
Winona: [barks]
Applejack: What are you doin' back here?
Winona: [barks]
Fluttershy: Awwww. [giggles] Winona only said that she wanted to surprise you by competing today!
Applejack: Huh. Yee-haw! We gotta get ready to win that gold!
[bell rings]
Fluttershy: That's the signal! It's time to enjoy the cutest show in Canterlot!

Best in Show: The Victory LapEdit

Applejack: Giddyup! What a show! So many surprises and one too many jugglin' acts, if you ask me. And now for the victory lap! Here comes our participation winners!
[crowd cheering]
Fluttershy: I have such a hard time reading that Gummy. He's a pet of mystery.
Applejack: Next up, our third place partners: Micro Chips and JVJ-24601. Uh... [quietly] Hey, Fluttershy, does a robot count as a pet?
[electronic noises]
Applejack: Uh, I mean, over to you, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Thank you, Applejack! JVJ-24601 really wowed the judges with their super shiny coat.
Applejack: Our second place team sure knows how to put a game face on durin' a tough competition!
Fluttershy: Couldn't agree more, Applejack! And Tank kept his focus, despite the distraction of being totally in love. Bravo, Tank!
Applejack: Huh. You sure do have the inside scoop, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: Well, Tank is a very talkative tortoise.
Applejack: And our big winners! I dunno about you, Fluttershy, but I can't think of a more deservin' duo!
Fluttershy: Yes, despite being in a horribly cranky mood during the personality round, Fluffersnuff really turned on the charm for the win!
Fluttershy: You guys did great!
[crowd cheering]
[electronic noises]

Schedule SwapEdit

Principal Celestia: Welcome to another exciting school year at Canterlot High. [over P.A. system] As you settle into your new classes, please make sure everything's in order.
Applejack: Everything's not in order! Where's Pinkie Pie?
Fluttershy: Um, isn't Rarity in this class?
Twilight Sparkle: But I thought Sunset Shimmer was in advanced physics with me.
Sandalwood: This is regular physics, dude.
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Principal Celestia: All final schedule changes must be made by the end of the day.
[door opens]
[girls panicking]
[thud]
Applejack: I was supposed to be in wood shop with Pinkie Pie, not frou-frou paintin' time with nobody.
Fluttershy: I only signed up for drama to be with Rarity, but she wasn't there. Which was very dramatic, but for all the wrong reasons.
Principal Celestia: Don't worry. I'll sort it out.
[keys clacking]
[printer whirring]
Rarity: [sighs] Okay! Phew!
Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Thank you!
Rainbow Dash: All right!
Rarity: [groans] This is the strangest math class I've ever been in.
Zephyr Breeze: That's 'cause it's wood shop. [plays wood flute]
Rainbow Dash: Huh. Sunset should be in here.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, have you seen Sunset? Wait. I didn't know you were taking advanced physics.
Pinkie Pie: Advanced physics? [laughs] Thank goodness! I thought they had ruined P.E.! Rainbow Dash, I'm on my way! Don't choose things without me!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[girls panicking]
Principal Celestia: Girls! I think I can arrange for you all to have one class period together. But this is the final change, okay?
[girls cheering]
Applejack: Well, she wasn't lyin'. Lunch technically is a class period.
Pinkie Pie: Best class to have together ever!
[girls agreeing]
Fluttershy: Um, has anyone seen Sunset?
[keys clacking]
Sunset Shimmer: I think I'm supposed to have lunch this period.
Principal Celestia: [sighs]

Twilight Under the StarsEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for helping me with tonight's Canterlot Celestial Society Members' Social, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: No trouble, space rubble. Stars are like the glitter of the sky!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so nervous. My favorite astrophysicist, Rosette Nebula, is here! She's so smart and cool and probably very funny. Do you think she'll like me?
Pinkie Pie: Of course she will.
[guests clamoring]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] There she is! Rosette Nebula! I just have to meet her!
Pinkie Pie: And I have to get this celestial celebration into orbit! Woo-hoo! Space party!
[music]
Pinkie Pie: Hmm...
Pinkie Pie: Party cannon!
[boom!]
[squeak!]
[guests laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[wheels squeaking]
Pinkie Pie: Atomic chocolate cake!
Rosette Nebula: Did you know the smell of chocolate increases brain waves and contains—
Twilight Sparkle: The neurotransmitter serotonin, which triggers relaxation and contentment.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm, sciency.
Rosette Nebula: I'm Rosette Nebula.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! I'm Twilight Sparkle. It's such an honor to meet you. I'm so interested to hear about your theories on... [fades out]
Pinkie Pie: Cake fixes everything.

Five StarsEdit

Pinkie Pie: Best diner in Canterlot, ladies! Not a single bad review! Five-star rating on Screech!
Doo Wop: Let's keep it up!
Pinkie Pie: Super happy with your flavor selection? How about a review?
[electronic chimes]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah!
"Garden Grove": We'll both have the club sandwich.
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: I thought you might.
Fleur de Lis: Wow. That was, like, so fast.
Pinkie Pie: That's what I like to hear. Care to Screech about it?
[electronic chimes]
[coffee pouring]
Pinkie Pie: Can I get you anything else?
Old Lady: Nah. Just gonna enjoy my paper.
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie-lokie!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: Hope you're enjoying your paper. If you're enjoying your service, too, feel free to leave a Screech!
[electronic chimes]
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers]
[air hissing]
Doo Wop and Sunny Sugarsocks: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: We just got our first ever four-star review. We're dooooomed! [sobbing]
Sunny Sugarsocks: Four stars doesn't seem so bad.
Doo Wop: Gosh darn, it's still a good review. Our streak was bound to end sometime.
Pinkie Pie: No! We are a five-star diner! I have to fix this!
Pinkie Pie: Just in case the first one gets cold. Complimentary piece of pie? Complimentary whole pie?
[zipping]
Twilight Sparkle: Mmmm.
Pinkie Pie: Agh! What am I doing wrong?! Fine. I'll just leave you alone.
[cellphone vibrates]
[electronic chimes]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Old Lady: All I wanted was some peace and quiet.
Pinkie Pie: [whistling]

FOMOEdit

Rarity; Ooh, Rainbow Dash! Would you like to come over after school today to—
Rainbow Dash: Ooh, uh, that sounds really cool, but I can't. I have, uh, plans.
Rarity; What sort of plans?
Rainbow Dash: Just chores and stuff! Gotta go!
[zoom!]
[door opens]
[engine running]
Twilight Sparkle: I've always wanted to do this! It's gonna be so much fun!
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]
Rarity: Taxi! Taxi!
[tires screeching]
Rarity: Follow that motorbike!
[tires screeching]
Rarity: [gasps] They're shopping without me. [sobs] I've never felt so betrayed in all my life! No!
Sunset Shimmer: We'll see you guys there. I will have plenty of time to think about that.
Fluttershy: [giggling]
Rarity: I guess their plans don't involve me. Driver, take me home!
Taxi Driver: Uh, lady, I need an address.
[taxi stops]
Rarity: I guess I'll just be alone by myself while all my friends are having fun together... without—
Rest of Equestria Girls: Surprise! Happy birthday, Rarity!
Rarity: Wha...?
Rainbow Dash: You didn't think we'd let you spend your birthday alone, did you?
Rarity: [stammers] Of course not, darling! I knew you had something up your sleeve from the very beginning!
Rest of Equestria Girls: [laughing]

I'm on a YachtEdit

[Equestria Girls]
Hey, hey!
[Sunset Shimmer]
Check our new ride
The wind is blowin', and we're feelin' real fly
Me and my girls are pumped up
[Equestria Girls]
That's right!
[Rarity]
Gonna see some dolphins before the end of the night (Fluttershy: Dolphins!)
[Rainbow Dash]
Hold up, pass the sunscreen
Can't nobody stop us from doin' our thing
We flossin' on 'em with our bling-bling
[Fluttershy]
Pinkie Pie's on deck, and it's
[Equestria Girls]
Fire she'll bring
[Pinkie Pie]
We hotties on a yacht-y
It's a special kind of party
Setting sail so we can play
Because it's anchors away
We got floaty-woaties, beach toties
Queens of the sea
We're fabulous, phenomenal
[Equestria Girls]
Don't you agree?
Hey, hey, hey, hands in the air
Oh, oh, oh, wind in our hair
We're hoppin' on, so float along
'Cause EG's on this yacht
Hey, hey, sippin' on lemonade
Shinin' bright, but we're throwin' no shade
Exclusively, we're V.I.P.
'Cause EG's on this yacht
Oh, no!
[Sunset Shimmer]
The sun's beatin' down
AJ fell asleep when no one was around (Pinkie Pie: What?!)
Now she's got a burn and a serious frown
[Applejack]
That won't even stop me from really gettin' down
[Equestria Girls]
Hey!
[Rainbow Dash]
DJ, drop that beat
She knows what we need to make us move our feet
Divin' in the pool to escape the heat
[Rarity]
Now we're getting hungry, and it's time to eat
[Pinkie Pie]
Lobster on a silver platter
'Cause the costs don't even matter
All expenses are paid
EG crew
[Equestria Girls]
Got it made!
[Pinkie Pie]
Little boats are driftin' by
Seagulls up in the sky
We're a picture of perfection
As we wave to them
[Equestria Girls]
Hi!
Hey, hey, hey, hands in the air
Oh, oh, oh, wind in our hair
We're hoppin' on, so float along
'Cause EG's on this yacht
Hey, hey, sippin' on lemonade
Shinin' bright, but we're throwin' no shade
Exclusively, we're V.I.P.
'Cause EG's on this yacht
We're livin' our life like
This moment never ends
Sun shines on us so brightly
When we're chillin' with friends
Spike: Worldwide, y'all! Equestria Girls crew! Keepin' it hot on a yacht! And it's aaaaaall good!
Hey, hey, hey, hands in the air
Oh, oh, oh, wind in our hair
We're hoppin' on, so float along
'Cause EG's on this yacht
Hey, hey, sippin' on lemonade
Shinin' bright, but we're throwin' no shade
Exclusively, we're V.I.P.
'Cause EG's on this yacht

Run to Break FreeEdit

[birds chirping]
[students chattering]
[locker slams]


[Rainbow Dash]
I have so much more to say
But I live in slow motion
From moment to moment, hey
Holding back from day to day
The clock's ticking slowly
But time cannot hold me down
I find myself in the rhythm of my feet
Feel it in my heartbeat
The time is now, and I won't hold back, hold back
Gonna break free, yeah, I'm runnin'
Watch me, yeah-yeah, I'm runnin'
I let go in this moment, all roads open
Gonna break free, yeah, I'm runnin'
I was born to break free
I choose my path, I choose my dreams
My spirit's a fighter
A passion igniter, yeah
All I need's inside of me
A light shining brighter
A spark to a fire now
I find myself in the rhythm of my feet
Feel it in my heartbeat
The time is now, and I won't hold back, hold back
(Whoa-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh)
Gonna break free, yeah, I'm runnin' (yeah-yeah)
Watch me, yeah-yeah, I'm runnin' (I'm runnin', runnin', whoa)
I let go in this moment, all roads open
Gonna break free, yeah, I'm runnin'
I was born to break free

Camping Must-HavesEdit

Rarity: Hello, internet darlings! It's your music festival muses Rarity and Applejack here, presenting our camping must-haves.
Applejack: Now, you're gonna be out in the hot sun all day long, so be sure to bring plenty of sunscreen.
Rarity: Of course, your SPF won't be complete without a chapeau. And it should match your parasol and your blanket, of course.
Applejack: But you don't really need all that.
Rarity: And maybe a scarf.
Applejack: I can think of two must-haves for makin' an outhouse feel like an in-house. Bring your own TP and plenty of hand sanitizer.
Rarity: Be sure to include one or two all-natural moisturizers. It never hurts to have a whole set.
Applejack: You can't go three days without 'em?
Rarity: Oh, I'll fit them in, darling. I'll just tuck them in next to the cushioned seat cover, air-freshening candle set, and four-panel privacy screen.
Applejack: [sighs] And finally, you'll need a sleepin' bag for a few hours of shuteye.
Rarity: Plus pillows! Travel pillows, body pillows, accent pillows, throw pillows, bolster pillows, hypoallergenic pillows...
Applejack: And where are you plannin' to put all them pillows?
[scraping sounds]
Rarity: [grunting] Just... [sighs]
Applejack: Excuse me! What happened to bringin' only our must-haves?
Rarity: This is a one-of-a-kind bespoke four-poster bed! I absolutely must have it!
Applejack: Campin's about makin' do with what you got! It's about breakin' off a stick to roast marshmallows or rustlin' up pine needles for deodorant!
Rarity: But, darling, we're not camping.
Applejack: Huh?
Rarity: We're glamping!
[thuds]
[clunk!]
[fire roaring]
[horn honking]
Applejack: Well. I think I'm gonna like glampin'.

Festival FiltersEdit

[chattering]
[click!]
Rarity: Ooh, what filter are you going to use, darling?
Sunset Shimmer: I was thinking about going #NoFilter.
Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Applejack: Not to sound like Granny Smith, but why do y'all care so much about a filter? All it does is make a new picture look... old.
Rarity: [laughs] Oh, no-no-no-no-no, sweetheart, no. They are so much more. You can model the latest trend with "Shape Chic".
[beeps]
Applejack: I'd never wear a dodecahedron.
[beeps]
Fluttershy: If you're missing your friends, try "Flora/Fauna".
[birds chirping]
Fluttershy: Oh! [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Check it out!
[music playing]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] We're in a band!
Applejack: Uh, we do that already.
Fluttershy: "Fish Eye"!
[click!]
Rarity: "Birds' Eyes"!
[click!]
Rainbow Dash: "Normal Hair"!
[click!]
Rainbow Dash: You guys look great.
Twilight Sparkle: "Watson"!
[click!]
Fluttershy: "Bigfoot Blurry in the Background"!
[click!]
[dramatic sting]
Equestria Girls: [giggling]
Fluttershy: Looks just like him.
Rainbow Dash: "Pony"!
[click!]
["My Little Pony" theme]
Rainbow Dash: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Party picture!
Sunset Shimmer: This one is awesome!
Fluttershy: That cake looks delicious.
Applejack: I'll say. What's this filter called, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: What filter?
[beat]
[squeak!]
Equestria Girls: [laughing]

How to BackstageEdit

[drone whirring]
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, everybody. Sunset Shimmer here, your M.V.P. with a B.T.S. look at the V.I.P. life. Translation – I got a backstage pass!
Sunset Shimmer: Need a break? First perk of the V.I.P. treatment – swag, swag, swag, swag, swag! I'm talking foreign chocolate, instant cameras, noise-canceling headphones... or... socks. Rock on! Must be to keep the bands from getting cold feet. [chuckles] I guess I'll just, uh, put them on. [grunts] Whoa. V.I.P. coming through!
[thud]
Sunset Shimmer: Check it out – the world-famous green room, where all the bands hang out before the show. Any guesses on who we'll see? Are you kidding me? This... is... amazing! You're lookin' at the guy who invented pickup-only reverb! Ever wonder who does PostCrush's light show? She runs a four-gel hot swap! [screams] This is the best day of my life!
Lighting Girl: Did you want to meet the band?
Band Member: Cool socks.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs] Thanks. Can I get a picture?
[band members laughing]
[camera clicks]
Sunset Shimmer: [squee]
Sunset Shimmer: [narrating] And that's how you backstage.

Festival LooksEdit

Rarity: Some say the best part of a music festival is the music. But to me, it's fashion!
Applejack: An old pair of cowboy boots will keep you from steppin' in a pile of... uh... fashion emergency.
[pig oinks]
Fluttershy: If you've got hang-ups with hangers, look for style right outside your window.
[birds chirping]
Rarity: [gasps] I believe they're famished for fashion.
Fluttershy: Well, actually, they do want me to regurgitate worms into their beaks.
[keys tapping]
Rarity: Innovative! Who's next?
Rainbow Dash: Make sure you can move whether you're dancing at the festival or after a hat trick.
Rarity: Touchdown!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, that's not what it's called—
Sunset Shimmer: Can't go wrong with a classic.
Pinkie Pie: Classic? You mean like... confetti?
[squeak!]
Pinkie Pie: Confetti everywhere! Hmm. Classic Pinkie Pie.
Rarity: Aah!
Pinkie Pie: Oops! Sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: You know what's always in style? Personal responsibility. Earplugs for high-decibel situation, a water bottle, flashlight and compass in case you get lost, the other kind of compass in case you need—
Rarity: And there you have it, my loves. At the end of the day, it's always in fashion to be utterly yourselves. See you at the festival!

Five Lines You Need to Stand InEdit

[indistinct chattering]
[drone whirring]
Pinkie Pie: Hello, computer net friends. Pinkie Pie here, bringing you the list you've all been waiting for. Because anybody who's anybody knows that music festivals aren't about the music or the scene or even the camping. Which is why we're counting down the five lines you need to stand in! Oh, yeah!
Pinkie Pie: First up, the security line. If we play this right, we might just make a new friend.
Security Guard: Bag, please.
Pinkie Pie: You can show off all the cool stuff in your purse.
Security Guard: How in the—?
Pinkie Pie: I know, right?
Pinkie Pie: The only thing that tastes better than nachos is nachos you waited two hours to get. Besides, how else could I ever decide what I want on them? Which is everything! Ohhhh, delicious! [eating noisily]
Pinkie Pie: Up next, the photo booth line. Let's practice a pose! Say "cheese"! Say, cheese?
"Watermelody": [gags]
Pinkie Pie: Eh, your loss. [eating noisily]
Pinkie Pie: Why not take a chance on a mystery line? It could lead to the coolest place you've ever seen! [to person in line] Do you know where this line goes?
Person in Line: ["I-don't-know" sound]
Pinkie Pie: Ah! Me, neither! But if it's this long, it's got to be good, right? [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: Last, but certainly not least, is the bathroom line. Or, as I like to call it, the conga line! Cha-cha-cha, everybody!
[students laughing]
[conga music]
Pinkie Pie: This is the best line ever!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Congratulations! You made it!

Find the MagicEdit

[The Dazzlings]
Where do we go? Every day's the same
Did we lose the magic, magic, magic?
So ordinary, stuck on repeat
Gotta find the passion, passion, passion
The days go round and round, round and round
Gotta break away, find a great escape
Round and round and round
Round and round and round
Ohhh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
[Adagio Dazzle]
Can I find the beauty in the simple things?
[The Dazzlings]
Can I learn to see it, see it, see it?
The days go round and round, round and round
Gotta break away, find a great escape
Round and round and round
Round and round and round
Ohhh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
[Adagio Dazzle]
Let's find the magic
[The Dazzlings]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find (Adagio Dazzle: Hey!)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh...

Let It RainEdit

[Sunset Shimmer]
It's all right, yeah
I'm walking right beside you
I feel the way, feel the way that you do, too
Oh, I can't lie, sometimes
Everything feels like it's just too much
But you gotta let it in, even if it's tough
Know it gets better, know it gets better
Push through the weather, weather
Let it ra-a-a-ain
Let it ra-a-a-ain
Don't be afraid of walls coming down
Sometimes it hurts, you'll figure it out
Let it ra-a-a-ain
Let it rain, it's okay
There's beauty in the breakdown
There's sun behind those gray clouds
You know, I can't lie, it's all right
Everything feels like it's just too much
But you gotta let it in, even if it's tough
Know it gets better, know it gets better
We push through the weather, weather
Let it ra-a-a-ain
(There's beauty, there's beauty in the breakdown)
Let it ra-a-a-ain
Don't be afraid of walls coming down
Sometimes it hurts, you'll figure it out
Let it ra-a-a-ain
(There's beauty, there's beauty in the breakdown)
Let it rain, let it ra-a-a-ain...

Cheer You OnEdit

[Flash Sentry]
Leading ladies, I'm happy where I stand
'Cause you're the superstars, and I'm a super fan, yeah
You're my heroes, you've got the master plan
So into you
I'm just here to cheer you on
Someone you can count on
I live to cheer you o-o-on
The supporting man in your world
All for Equestria Girls
(Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Yeah
(All for Equestria Girls)
(Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Yeah-eah
If I could be the wind under your wings
To watch you soar so high makes my heart sing
You don't have to ask, I'd do anything
So into you
I'm just here to cheer you on
Magnificent and strong
Someone you can count o-o-on
The supporting man in your world
All for Equestria Girls
[Sandalwood]
[rapping]
Haters gonna hate, he knows where he stands
They wish they could be an Equestria Man
He is the one, he'll never be fake
Friendship forever, bonds you don't break
"F" is for freedom, "R" is for rare
"I" is inspired, "E"-questria, yeah
"N", never-ending, "D" is for dreaming
Don't stop believing, he'll always be there
[Flash Sentry]
I'm just here to cheer you on
Someone you can count on (yeah!)
I live to cheer you o-o-on
The supporting man in your world
All for Equestria Girls
(Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Magnificent and strong
(Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls)
Someone you can count o-o-on
The supporting man in your world
All for Equestria Girls!

Do It For the Ponygram!Edit

Rarity: Oh! Ugh! [whines]
[static]
Rarity: Aah!
[static]
[hair dryer whirring]
[static]
Rarity: #PerfectOnTheFirstTry.
[beep!]
[dripping]
[whirring]
[bubbling]
[whistling]
[humming]
[bubbling]
[drip]
[poof!]
Twilight Sparkle: Science!
[beep!]
Pinkie Pie: Party time!
[squeak!]
[rewinding]
[squeak!]
[rewinding]
[squeak!]
[beep!]
Rainbow Dash: Time to fly!
[boing!]
Fluttershy: Whoa!
[rewinding]
[boing!]
[rewinding]
[boing!]
[beep!]
Rarity: Hey, "dar"s! That's what we're calling "darlings" now. It's all part of our new "slang-uage" we're calling...
Pinkie Pie: "Sweet 'Breev's!"
Rarity: Everything's cooler when you abbreviate it. Suh-tuh-guh-buh-nuh-nuh?
Pinkie Pie: Totes! That's an 'abbrev'. As in, I totes have no idea what you just said!
Rarity: That is the power of 'breev's. 'P' to the 'breev'!
[beep!]
Rainbow Dash: [giggling] I'm gonna hide in Pinkie's locker and scare her when she—
[clang!]
Rainbow Dash: [screams]
[beep!]
[camera beeps]
[camera clicking]
[beep!]
Snips: [laughing]
[water swishing]
Snips: O-O-Okay, okay! T-Try again!
[water swishing]
[students gasp]
[students scream]
[hip-hop music]
[beep!]
[whoosh]
Fluttershy: [grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Equestria Girls: [cheering]
[beep!]
Pinkie Pie: Cupcakes! Vanilla swirl! Chocolate crunch! [giggling] Strawberry coconut! Lemon drop! Key lime! Orange creamsicle! Raspberry ganache!
[beep!]
[The Other Side playing]
Rarity: Whoa!
[thud]
Rarity: [grunting]
[Rarity]
Won't stop 'til I seize the day
My wheels keep tuuuu... [winds down]
[muffled grunting]
[dolphin laughing]
Rarity: Aah!
[splash!]
[beep!]
[Five to Nine playing]
Applejack: Yeeee-haw! Oof!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo!
Pinkie Pie and Applejack: [laughing]
Applejack: Oh, apple fudge.
[beep!]
[hip-hop music]
Twilight Sparkle: [laughing]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Choose Your Own Ending (season 1)


Best Trends ForeverEdit

Flash Sentry: Cloudy mornings will clear up in a flash. [plays guitar] Giving us clear skies all week to jam out to this tune. And that's your Weather... in a Flash. [clicks tongue]
Rarity: Thank you, Flash. Now for this week's most essential forecast: trends, featuring me, Rarity, your on-trend friend. As always, I look to Prim Hemline's style guide for inspiration. [sighs] Which I have memorized, so, uh... the latest trend simply has to be, uh... Don't panic, Rarity. You once made a skirt out of slap bracelets. You can find inspiration anywhere!

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

Rarity: The latest trend: Smart is Chic!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Trixie Lulamoon: Twilight, the Great and Powerful and Smart Trixie has a question for you and you alone. How do I get to that cool place with those little bound stacks of paper?
Twilight Sparkle: Books? Do you mean the library?
Trixie Lulamoon: The library!
Twilight Sparkle: Down the hallway to your right.
Trixie Lulamoon: Library, here we come!
Silver Spoon: Twilight, which word is cooler? "Boronic" or "onomatopoeia"?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, they're both kind of bombastic.
Diamond Tiara: "Bomb-tastic"? Oh, oh, I love that! It's like "da bomb" plus "fantastic"!
Twilight Sparkle: No. Bombastic means overly florid in an attempt to sound impressive.
Diamond Tiara: Whoa. Bombastic much?
Silver Spoon: Ooh! You just got incinerated!
Twilight Sparkle: What's gotten into everyone?
Students: [chanting, mispronouncing] Ski-ence! Ski-ence! Ski-ence!
Twilight Sparkle: There's a month-long wait list to check out the sequel to the book I just finished.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Arthropods"?
Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs] Not everything, obviously. Why is everyone suddenly into the stuff I'm into and taking my books?
Rarity: I may have taken the teeniest, tiniest, little bit of inspiration from... well, you. I'm sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That's okay, Rarity. I'm flattered. Besides, trends come and go, but friendship is always in fashion.
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: Ooooh!
Rarity: And not to worry. Dramatic capes are about to pop!
Students: Ski-ence! Capes? Capes! [clamoring]
[zip!]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Rarity: The latest trend has to be... rainbows! Sherbets, sprinkles, or rainbow hair – it's all in!
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh!
Rarity: Oh, so glad I found you, Rainbow Dash. I am tailoring a particularly tricky pinafore, and I was wondering if...
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful—!
Rarity: Oh, uh, thank you. Uh, b-but I'm late for... b-being over there. [laughing] I just had the most embarrassing mix-up. I thought I was talking to you— [gasps, stammering] No, no. No, it can't-can't be. Oh! Excuse me! [screams]
[thud]
Rarity: [narrating] Submitted for your approval. A portrait of a school taken over by a trend. Namely, a hairstyle. Rainbow in nature, the calling card of one ROY G. BIV.
Rarity: Oof!
Rarity: [narrating] So if you choose to enroll in this class-wide craze, hurry up and catch the bus headed for... the Rainbow Zone.
Rarity: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Hey, Rarity. I don't know what it is, but everyone looks awesome today!

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Rarity: [gasps] Confetti! Of course!
Pinkie Pie: [hyperventilating] Confetti? I love confetti! And parties and cupcakes and surprises, but most of all... [deep breath] Confetti!
[squeak!]
Applejack: Can the next trend be a little less... messy, Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: [sneezes]
Rarity: Well, this place needed a little color, don't you think?
[squeak! squeak! squeak!]
Applejack: If Principal Celestia sees this, we'll be in trouble. Let's get to cleanin'!
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: [whistles]
Applejack: Party's over, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: A party? And I missed it?! Aw, shoot! I was busy spreading the joy of confetti to the whole entire school!
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity: We know!
Principal Celestia: Great job cleaning up, girls. Pinkie Pie, lay off the confetti, okay?
Pinkie Pie: Okay...
[SQUEAK!]
Rarity: [sighs] This afternoon's trend forecast... Detention.
Pinkie Pie: Wheeee! [giggles]

Fluttershy's ButterfliesEdit

Rainbow Dash: Auditions for the Fall Play!
Applejack: I can't believe we're doin' "Dazzled" this year.
Rarity: Ooh! Nothing holds a candle to the glamour of legitimate theater. I was born for the lead — Selfie Soot! [in a Southern belle accent] A coal miner's daughter with the heart of a dancer.
Pinkie Pie: Let's all do the play together! Aah! It'll be like planning an amazing party where everything has to be perfect or we get embarrassed in front of the whole school. Right, Fluttershy?
[zip!]
Fluttershy: [quietly] I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. Ahem. "Down here, we mine for coal."
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you okay, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Ohhh... It would be so fun to be in the play with all of you. But when I think about trying out on stage all alone... Mm-mm.
Rainbow Dash: You perform all the time with the Rainbooms.
Fluttershy: Well, it's different when we're all together. It's less... terrifying.
Applejack: You know, I got just the trick for stage fright.
Rainbow Dash: I bet I could help, too – in half the time as Applejack.
Applejack: It ain't a contest. But if it were, I'd win.
Fluttershy: Really? Hmm... Who should I pick to help me?

Choose Rainbow Dash endingEdit

Rainbow Dash: You just need a little practice speaking in front of a crowd. Ready?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm. [distressed squeal]
Rainbow Dash: You'll thank me later. Game on!
Fluttershy: [taps microphone]
[feedback]
[whistle blows]
[students cheering]
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] Here goes. Um, in between two with the... score time...
"Cherry Crash" and "Mystery Mint": Huh?
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] She's bringing, um... Oh, help me, somebody. The... ball goes up, and... boom goes a header ball— a-a head ball. Uh... Oh, no. [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Lose yourself in the game! Come on, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [sighs, over loudspeaker] Number twenty-two is pushing to the... limit. The ball, it's tucked away by number thirty-four, who passes back to Dash. She holds it, makes her move. She's coming, hears the crowd, she's wide open! I don't believe it!
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for... cooooooaaaaaaaal!
[students cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. And the crowd goes wild.

Choose Applejack endingEdit

Applejack: Surefirest cure for stage fright is to picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens.
Fluttershy: Chickens?
Applejack: Heh. A little cluck-cluck, and it'll pluck ya right up. You never heard of this trick?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm.
Applejack: Everyone does it. And I mean everyone.
Fluttershy: Even you?
[chicken clucks]
Fluttershy: Oh.
Applejack: Told ya.
Applejack: [voiceover, echoing] Picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens...
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Applejack: [clucking]
Fluttershy: I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. "Down here, we mine for coal."
[overlapped approval]
Applejack: Heh. Chicken trick worked, huh?
Fluttershy: Actually, I pictured everyone in the audience as you, Applejack.
Applejacks: We believe in you, Fluttershy!
Applejack: Heh. Awww. Well, I'm glad you were able to imagine it in one way or the other. 'Cause my backup plan wasn't so hot.
[chickens clucking]
Applejack: [clears throat] Speakin' of which, I should probably get them back to the farm.
[chicken clucks]

Choose DJ Pon-3 endingEdit

[loud, bass-heavy music]
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for coal.
[students cheering]
Rarity: Wow. She really knows how to make an entrance.

Text SupportEdit

[school bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: How cool is chemistry class? I can't believe I got to come up with my very own chemical formula – jalapeño supernova cupcake frosting! [slurps]
[phone buzzing]
Sunset Shimmer: That wasn't the assignment.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, you sound just like my lab partners. [to Snips and Snails] Couldn't have done it without you guys!
Twilight Sparkle: I just got the weirdest text from Timber Spruce.
Rarity: Pirate, plane, alligator, thumbs up, waterfall, golf club, ice cream sundae.
Twilight Sparkle: What does it mean? Is it an inside joke? A hieroglyphic reference? A secret code? Ugh! My brain feels weird. I'm not used to not knowing things.
Rarity: Hmmm. Sounds like you could use a translator.
Fluttershy: I could help.
Sunset Shimmer: Leave this one to me.
Twilight Sparkle: Who can get me out of this text-astrophe?

Choose Rarity! endingEdit

Rarity: As you are no doubt keenly aware, I am fluent in all the latest text slang, "phone lingo". [chuckles] If I may?
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. So, you're just gonna—
Rarity: No, no, darling.
[phone chimes]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much. But what'd I just say?
[phone buzzes]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! He replied!
Rarity: Robot, shooting star, trophy? [laughing] Oh, he's a witty one.
Twilight Sparkle: He won a space robot contest!
[beat]
Rarity: Fancy dress, anvil, high-five, napkin...
Twilight Sparkle: Anvil? I don't know if—
Rarity: Shh-shh! Darling, darling.
[phone buzzes]
Rarity: [laughing] Do you like ice cream?
Twilight Sparkle: Who doesn't like ice cream?
Rarity: Check mark, check mark, couple holding hands, sunshine, three balloons, spoon! [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, but what just happened?
Rarity: Oh, well, I started by sending a dragon because you're powerful, ice cube and snail because you're cool but take it slow, and then pyramid, well, for obvious reasons. Then he was way into it, so in this last one, I was just double-checking. You and Timber Spruce have a date on Sunday at three o'clock to have ice cream.
Twilight Sparkle: Thumbs up, smiley face!
Rarity: You're welcome.

Choose Fluttershy! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: So, what are you thinking, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I'd start with... a bird.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good.
Fluttershy: Then iguana, guinea pig, regular pig, frog, baby chick in the egg, baby chick out of the egg, all three see-no-evil monkeys, cat, cat, cat, cat, all the cats, and, um...
[squirrel chitters]
Fluttershy: ...finish it with a squirrel on his hind legs.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good. Sent. That was perfect! So, what did we just send?
Fluttershy: A bunch of cute animal emojis! [giggles]
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: But what does it mean?!
[phone buzzes]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] He says yes to the zoo! The zoo? Ohhhh! The zoo! Thank you, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: No matter what the problem is, adorable animals are always the answer.

Choose Sunset Shimmer! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Timber Spruce wants to dress up like pirates and fly through waterfalls with an alligator while we eat ice cream with golf clubs for spoons?! That's crazy! Golf clubs would make terrible spoons.
Sunset Shimmer: Have you thought about maybe asking him what he means?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, great idea! How would I ask that in emojis?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh.
[phone beeps, dials]
Twilight Sparkle: Calling?! No calling! Who talks on the phone?! [strains] Sunset, whyyyy?!
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, Timber Spruce? Sunset Shimmer here.
[indistinct talking]
Sunset Shimmer: Mm. Mm-hmm. That text you sent Twilight Sparkle. Mm-hmm. Ohhh! [chuckles] That's what you meant? That's what Twilight thought, but we weren't sure. Thanks.
Twilight Sparkle: You just... boy talked... mouth words... phone.
Sunset Shimmer: He's wondering if you're free to play pirate alligator mini-golf this weekend.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, duh! Of course! How do I say yes?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. Heh.
[indistinct talking]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!

Stressed in ShowEdit

Rarity: [in a Southern belle accent] Mother, I fear I do not share your dreams of coal. Instead, my heartbeat calls for me to dance!
[beat]
Rarity: Ahem. Heartbeat calls for me to dance? To dance!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry. Uh... [reading] But Selfie Soot, my sweet summer child, without your help, I'll never mine the mine in time. Or run lines with Flash Sentry in time, or help Applejack build a stage in time, or practice my monologue in time, or find time for time and time! [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, am I missing a page?
Sunset Shimmer: Um, when was the last time you took a break from the play?
Twilight Sparkle: Take a break! Break a leg! Break a take!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] I think she's broken.
Sunset Shimmer: Breathe, Twilight. You just need something to take your mind off the play a little while. We're here for you. Right, everyone?
Rainbow Dash: Of course!
Fluttershy: Let one of us help take your mind off it.
Pinkie Pie: You bet!

Choose Fluttershy! endingEdit

[bird chirps]
Fluttershy: Ta-da! Just what you needed. An escape to nature.
[squish]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. I got mud on my boots.
Twilight Sparkle: Boots?! That reminds me! I need to help Rarity design Selfie Soot's magic boots for the play!
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no. Don't think about that. Think about... this. [whispering] Be as cute as you can possibly be.
Angel: [chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: Aww! He's adorable!
Fluttershy: It's why I love nature so much more than big cities.
Twilight Sparkle: Shiny City! Applejack is building the city sets while we're out here lost in the woods!
Fluttershy: Aah! Animals, unite!
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: Dazzle her with your tranquility.
Twilight Sparkle: "Dazzled" is the name of the play!
[birds chirping, hooting]
[woodpecker pecking]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Oh, yeah. This... this is nice. Heh. So relaxing, so calm, so... [snoring]
Fluttershy: Shhh. Let her take a little nap, everyone. All we need now is some volunteers to keep her warm. Spunky and Plunky, are you up to the task?
[skunks chittering]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight! Only ten laps to go!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fasting as lap as I can!
Rainbow Dash: A great practice always clears my head. I promise. You'll feel great in no time. Right, guys?
Sunset Shimmer: [panting] We'll catch up!
[rock montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Hah. Look at that. You beat me. And I only sorta let you win.
Twilight Sparkle: I feel completely de-stressed. And we managed to give Spike some exercise.
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] And I guess Sunset, too.
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Wow.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I know what we could do to get your mind off the play. We could ask Rarity for a makeover. Oh! Or ask Bulk Biceps for a massage. He gives such good massages. Or we could ask Applejack to whip you up an apple face mask. Ah, there are so many options! Maybe too many options? It's kind of stressful just thinking about it. Right? Huh? Where'd you go?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Take a look at this! I made an anti-stress list. You love lists, don't you? Well, to start, this is a list of lists we could make. We could make a list about color, a list about numbers, a list about buckets, lists— Twilight? Twilight?
[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Whew.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Aaaah!
Pinkie Pie: I had a feeling you'd be here.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, listen. I really appreciate what you're trying to do and everything, but it's too much. All day, all I've been able to think about is, "Where's Pinkie Pie? Where's Pinkie Pie?" I haven't had one moment to...
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: ...think about the play. [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: You're welcome!

Driving Miss ShimmerEdit

Fluttershy: What do you mean you failed?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, groans] Mr. Cranky Doodle said I didn't have enough experience to pass the driving test. I have a retest on Monday, but it's my last chance, and he wants me to practice with someone more experienced.
Rarity: Oh, pfft. Darling, is that all? I can take you any time you like.
Applejack: Don't fret your fritters. I can borrow Granny's truck.
Fluttershy: We could use my car.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, I guess I'll go with...

Choose Rarity endingEdit

[limo screeches]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
Rarity: Isn't it fabulous? I rented it for the day. If you're going to study driving, you must do it in style. I call it "stretch chic".
[door closes]
[car vrooming]
Rarity: Now, just a few things that you absolutely must know. Always have both sparkling and still water. You never know which one your passengers will prefer. Never play the music too loud or too soft. It has to be just enough that their heads bob but not so much that they cover their ears. And finally, always have your lights on the ready in case of an impromptu party breaking out.
Sunset Shimmer: Your headlights?
[dance music playing]
Sunset Shimmer: Rarity, I'm not going to prom. I'm just trying to pass my driving test.
Rarity: Darling, can't we do both?
Rarity: Just a little bit— Oh! No, an inch to the left. Now—ooh, careful! The shoulder! Watch the shoulder! Ooh, driving can be stressful, darling.
Cranky Doodle: Not bad, Sunset. You completed the left turn, the right turn, the U-turn, and the K-turn. But now comes the party where everyone fails – parallel parking. Don't expect to—
Sunset Shimmer: Done.
Cranky Doodle: Where on Earth did you learn to do that?
Sunset Shimmer: Mmm, I just had to... stretch my talents.
Cranky Doodle: I don't get it. Eh.

Choose Applejack endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Thanks for helping me out, Applejack.
Applejack: Think nothin' of it. I've been lookin' for a reason to take a spin in the old jalopy.
Granny Smith: Who are you callin' a jalopy?!
Sunset Shimmer: [coughing]
Granny Smith: See? Like she's fresh off the lot.
Applejack: Whew. I can't believe she's still in such good condition.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, she's something, all right.
Granny Smith: You girls ready for the ride of your lives?
[engine revving]
Granny Smith: Now, the first thing you ought to know is—
[pop, hiss]
Granny Smith: ...be prepared.
Sunset Shimmer: To fail?
Granny Smith: For anything.
Applejack: [grunts] All right, Sunset. Use that wrench to loosen the bolts, and we'll get this tire replaced in two shakes of an apple tree.
Sunset Shimmer: Heh. And what if I don't have you and Granny Smith around?
Applejack: Well...
Cranky Doodle: Oh, this is unfortunate. Of course I know how to change a tire, but, uh, I wouldn't want you waiting around. So I guess, uh... you fail? Is that fair? Hmm?
Sunset Shimmer: Not to worry. I know exactly what we need.
Cranky Doodle: Ya do?
Sunset Shimmer: An apple-jack. [chuckles]

Choose Fluttershy endingEdit

Fluttershy: Sunset, over here!
Sunset Shimmer: Sweet ride, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: In you go, Miss Kitty.
[cat meows]
Sunset Shimmer: All right! I'm ready to clock some miles on this bad boy! Let's do this!
Fluttershy: [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer. Check your little engine light to make sure that the trip's all right. The coolest drivers will admire—
Sunset Shimmer: All right!
Fluttershy: ...properly inflated tires.
Sunset Shimmer: So, what are we learning first? Turns? Switching lanes? Parking?
Fluttershy: Oh! Funny you should ask. I actually have a rhyme for that, too.
[horn blares]
Cranky Doodle: Now, Sunset, I know all this safety business might seem boring to you – and it is – but it's also... [groans] ...important. Tell me what do you do even before you start the car.
Sunset Shimmer: Turn up the radi— Oh, not that. [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer.
Cranky Doodle: Very nice. If your driving's as good as your rhymings, I'm sure you'll do just fine...-ings.
Sunset Shimmer: [rhythmically] I had some help from the best. Now it's time to pass this test.
Cranky Doodle: Just start the car.

Rarity Investigates: The Case of the Bedazzled BootEdit

Flash Sentry: [reading] I tell ya, no coal-minin' daughter of ours is goin' to Shiny City wearin' boots like those!
Sunset Shimmer: Cut!
Snips: [chuckling]
Sunset Shimmer: Snips, Snails, where's the other boot?
Snips: Hey, props ain't our job.
Sunset Shimmer: Yes, it is. Your job is props.
Snips: Well, yes, but... Right.
Sunset Shimmer: The play about is magic dancing boots. No one's buying tickets to see a magic dancing boot.
Rarity: [gasps] Somebody's pilfered my bedazzled boot, eh? Not good. But a new case falling right into my lap? Not bad. Don't you worry your sweet red head... redhead. [snaps fingers] Speaking as the lead whose foot that boot adorns – and the costume designer whose mind dreamt of it in the first place – let me assure you I shall find the boot. But where to begin? Somebody's got to know something.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Rarity: What do you say, Miss Pie – if that's your real name?
Pinkie Pie: I can't take it anymore! It was me! I did it! I'm the one! [crying]
Rarity: Pinkie, it couldn't have been you.
Pinkie Pie: Huh? It couldn't have?
Rarity: You were nowhere near the auditorium when it went missing.
Pinkie Pie: I wasn't?
Rarity: You were at the frozen yogurt shop.
Pinkie Pie: I was?
Rarity: You literally still have frozen yogurt in your hand.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm. Yeah. You were just so upset, I thought confessing would make you feel better.
Rarity: [narrating] I could tell that dame had a sweet tooth for trouble. [speaking] There's still something you're not telling me. You saw something!
Pinkie Pie: Like, at the frozen yogurt shop, I took more than one free sample, and then I put the used sample spoons in the wrong cup.
Rarity: Slow down.
Pinkie Pie: And then someone took my spoon.
Rarity: This is bigger than spoons!
Pinkie Pie: And I watched them, Rarity!
Rarity: P-P-Pinkie—
Pinkie Pie: I watched them eat my yogurt germs!
Rarity: Pinkie Pie, please! Have you or have you not seen my boot?!
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh! You mean that one under the pile of bell-bottoms?
Rarity: [gasps] You solved the mystery!
Pinkie Pie: But I have so much more to confess.
Rarity: [slurps, narrating] Solving a case never tasted so good.

Choose Trixie! endingEdit

Rarity: [narrating] The moment she strutted into my office, I already knew she was guilty. Only guilty people strut like that. That's a guilty person strut.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] The moment I strutted into her office, I knew I could outsmart this buffoon.
Rarity: [narrating] The dame wasn't talking, and that was fine. I can not talk, too. I can not talk for hours. I'm not even talking right now.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Heh. Me neither.
Rarity: [narrating] Looks like Trixie picked up a racket and decided to play.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Little does she know two can play this game.
[clock ticking]
Rarity: [narrating] Oh, she's good. But I had a little special something prepared.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Makeup? We could be here...
Rarity: [narrating] ...for hours.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] You win this round, Rarity, but the match ain't over yet. The Great and Powerful Trixie always prevail—
[crunch]
Trixie Lulamoon: Ow! You better clean up these rocks. Someone could get hurt. Not me, but you know, something.
Rarity: Spike?!
Spike: Sorry. I wanted to see what it's like to be a dancer.
Rarity: You want to dance in the play? Aw, we'll find a spot for you, Spike, but next time you borrow a boot, ask first. [narrating] Case closed.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Trixie, amazing.
Spike: [narrating] How come nobody's talking out loud?

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: Well, last time I saw them together was, uh, when I was buildin' the mine shaft set over by the costume rack.
Rarity: [narrating] Detectives trust their instincts, and mine were telling me to check the costume rack.
Rarity and Applejack: Maud?!
[thunder crashing]
Rarity: Of all the people, Maud?! Honestly, I never pegged you for a crook! Who put you up to it? What do you got against my big debut? Why aren't you answering me? Why? Why?! Why?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Huh. You might have thought this one is rose quartz, but it's actually amethyst.
Applejack: Uh, nobody thought that.
Rarity: They're just rhinestones, darling.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Made of amethyst. The world's largest amethyst geode weighs two and a half tons.
Rarity: A t-t-two-and-a-half-ton bedazzling gem?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Are you imagining yourself hugging it?
Rarity: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I am.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Me, too.
Rarity: Glimmering, gleaming, glitzing geodes... all for me! [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh. Nice.

All the World's Off StageEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Go! Go! And go!
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: Ten seconds to set change. Stage crew ready?
Snips and Snails: [grunting] Uh-huh.
Sunset Shimmer: In five, four, three... Pyro!
[fog machine]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[scenery creaking, music warps down]
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[thud]
[crowd aw's and talks]
Sunset Shimmer: [blows] Guys, the effect is ruined if we don't get the set across the stage in time with the dancers.
Snips: Ugh! But it's like moving a ton of bricks that's been built like... like a city!
Sunset Shimmer: There's gotta be a better way to move this thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Sunset. I've got an idea!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Me, too! Pick me, pick me, pick me!
[lights shut off]
Micro Chips: Surely, brains, not brawns, are the secret formula for backstage success.

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Thanks, Twilight. Your geode powers will make moving this set a cinch. Ready? Magic, go!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight— Aah!
[robotic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: This is the perfect chance to test my Robotics Club project.
Sunset Shimmer: I would've gone with super amazing, perfect-for-this-specific-problem Equestrian magic, but okay.
Snips: Oh, great! There go the robots taking all our high-paying jobs again!
Snails: Yeah! Wait. We're getting paid for this?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh!
[robotic noises]
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
[clanking and whirring]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, your robot's amazing! Let's do this one more time from the top.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready when you are!

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie, what are these?
Pinkie Pie: Party balloons!
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure we have time for balloons.
Pinkie Pie: You will make time, Sunset! I mean, there's always time for balloons. Ha ha!
Snails: [shudders, stiltedly] I love balloons. They're not scary at all.
Snips: Little balls of joy!
[creaking, pop!]
Snips: Aah! Traitor!
Snails: I told you!
Pinkie Pie: Actually, they're the set.
Sunset Shimmer: You mean they're for the set.
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: I feel like you're gonna have to explain this.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: Bring in Shiny City!
[disco music]
[zip! zip! zip!]
[air rushing]
Pinkie Pie: See? Balloons can do anything.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs]

Choose Micro Chips! endingEdit

Micro Chips: While simple machines do provide a mechanical advantage, by multiplying force against a single load — i.e., the set — I'm afraid the net loss of force due to friction in the opposite vector has not been overcome.
Sunset Shimmer: No kidding.
Snips: Pfft. Your face is an opposite vector.
Micro Chips: "Your face" is nothing more than a genetically predetermined arrangement of stratified squamous epithelial cells.
[squeak! squeak!]
Snails: Oh, snap, Snips! Burn! I think.
Snips: Harsh.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure you'll be able to move that giant heavy set on your own.
Micro Chips: I won't be moving anything. This muscle is gonna convince those muscles to move it on their own.
Sunset Shimmer: Bulk Biceps? But I already asked him for help. He's too busy working out for his part in the play: Lump of Coal.
Bulk Biceps: This Lump of Coal is gonna be cut like a diamond! [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
[disco music]
Bulk Biceps: Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
Micro Chips: Go! Muscle, muscle, muscle!
Sunset Shimmer: How'd you convince him to stop and help?
Micro Chips: Isn't it obvious? I fabricated a counterfactual peer review to pseudo-scientific study in Insane Lats magazine that postulates the only way to make your shirt uncomfortably tight for the summer is battle ropes.
Bulk Biceps: I battled the ropes, and I won!
Sunset Shimmer: You are a genius.

Constructive CriticismEdit

[handiwork noies]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I'm so glad we picked you to be the set designer, Applejack.
Applejack: I'm the only one who applied, so...
Sunset Shimmer: And the plans look fantastic. Just one thing. One little, kinda huge, important thing. Is this gonna be built in time?
Applejack: Absolutely! Construction's the quick part. Like I always say: "Measure twice, cut once. But only after you measure three more times." [resumes hammering]
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting] Glad that's not my job! I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting louder] I said I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?!
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting even louder] I said—
[thuds]
Applejack: Waaah!
Nurse Redheart: You're going to be fine.
Applejack: Whew!
Nurse Redheart: Just stay away from lifting, hammering, cutting, anything set-building related.
Applejack: But the play's this Friday! Don't worry, Sunset. I still got thi— Ow!
Sunset Shimmer: How about we get you an assistant set designer?
Applejack: I guess I could use a hand.

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Applejack: Thanks a bushel for helpin' me build the set, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: You got it, AJ! This is gonna be done before you can say, "Take a look at this blueprint!"
[whooshing]
[whirring]
Applejack: Well, actually, Rainbow Dash, you really should take a look at this blueprint.
Rainbow Dash: Already did. Got it up here.
[whirring]
Applejack: Slow down!
Rainbow Dash: No time!
[zip!]
[whirring!]
Applejack: But ya need to measure more and cut less! You're not measurin' enough!
[whooshing]
Applejack: Stoooop!
Rainbow Dash: What's up? I'm done, by the way.
[music]
Applejack: Hmm. This doesn't look like the blueprints. It's... even better!
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Heh. I guess I was looking at the green prints. Is that what these are? Sorry.
Applejack: That ain't a green print. That's... That's my vision board on green paper.
Rainbow Dash: Say what now?
Applejack: Green is my power color. I sketched out all the stuff I wish I could build but knew I'd never have time, and you've just built it all.
Rainbow Dash: Only because I followed your amazing ideas.
Applejack: Where'd you find this?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. I ran to your house while I was building. Your room is a mess, by the way. And your diary was unlocked. I didn't read it.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Okay, I read it.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Applejack: Are you sure you have time to help, Pinkie Pie? Don't you need to practice your drum solo?
Pinkie Pie: I am gonna practice my drum solo, silly. A-one, two, three, four!
[drumming]
Applejack: So you can't help me?
Pinkie Pie: I can't hear you! I'm busy helping!
[zip!]
[rhythmic hammering]
[rhythmic handiwork]
Applejack: Pinkie! Drum over here!
Pinkie Pie: Okay!
Applejack: And over here!
Pinkie Pie: You got it!
[rhythmic drumming, hammering continues]
[deep thud]
Pinkie Pie: Thank you, Canterlot High School! What'd ya think?
[drum roll]
Applejack: I'll be honest. I think you drummed up one heck of a set, Pinkie Pie.
[rimshot]
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laugh]

Choose Photo Finish! endingEdit

Applejack: So what we got here is a basic disco layout with a light-up dance floor and recessed cans to backlight the performance.
Photo Finish: B-b-buh! Mouth closed please.
Applejack: [muffled] But how am I supposed to tell ya what to do?
Photo Finish: Vit' your heart, Applejek! Open it and let Photo Finish feel where ze light needs to be, und zen ze set vill be built vere ze lights are not! [snaps fingers]
[uptempo music plays]
Applejack: Soooooooooooooo... what do I do?
Photo Finish: You're already doing it.
[music continues]
Photo Finish: Yes! Can't you feel it?!
Applejack: Feel what?
Photo Finish: Da passions!
[ding!]
Photo Finish: Shh! It iz time!
Applejack: What? [stutters] This doesn't look anything like it's supposed to.
Photo Finish: You are looking vit' your eyes! Look vit' your heart!
Applejack: You're makin' less sense than a jackrabbit on roller skates.
Photo Finish: Behold!
[electricity humming]
Applejack: Whoa. Thank you so much.
[flash!]
Photo Finish: Zat look! Zat is vhy I do zis! [snaps] I go!
[zip!]

Opening NightEdit

[indistinct conversations]
[conversations stop]
Rarity: [American accent] Ma, Pa, I have got to leave this humdrum, do-nothin', lump-of-coal town. I'm goin' to be the best disco dancer that Club Amethyst has ever seen!
Twilight Sparkle: [old lady voice] Bury those silly dreams in a slag heap, Selfie. Only fools try to make it big in Shiny City.
Rarity: How will I ever become a disco dancer when all I know is coal, coal, [crying] coal?!
[door opens]
[creaking]
"Curly Winds": [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Your canary tears have summoned me, my child. It is I, your Fairy Bootmother.
[audience oohs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Do not despair, for all coal turns to diamonds.
[music]
Rarity: [squeals]
[cheering and applause]
[disco music]
[zip!]
Snips: Hey!
Applejack: How's Coal Miner #2 doin'?
Fluttershy: Thinking of calling in sick?
Applejack: Don't be nervous. It's only one line. All you have to do is ring that bell and say, "The mine is closed."
Fluttershy: [quietly] "The mine is closed."
Applejack: Yeah, that, but... maybe a little louder?
[applause]
Applejack: Ha! Go get 'em!
[electricity humming]
Fluttershy: [breathes deeply]
Snips: Nuh-uh!
Snails: Hey!
Snips: [grunts]
[rope creaking]
[clangs]
[audience gasps]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh!
Applejack: Fluttershy needs our help!

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: [to Snips and Snails] Quick! I need a costume!
Snails: Uh, we only have one.
Applejack: [facepalms, groans]
Applejack: Ooh, pardon me. Talkin' apple tree comin' through. Oh, hello, coal mine. Just me, the magical talkin' apple tree. R-Remember, Fairy Bootmother? You enchanted me?
[creaks]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Y-Yeah. I certainly enchanted you. Heh. That.
[creaks]
Applejack: [grunts] Well. Would ya look at that? The bell's back where it needs to be. Someone should really ring it. Just flutter on over. Don't be shy.
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

[screech! whiffle, whiffle, whiffle]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[clink! whirr!]
[whoosh!]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[magic noises]
[bell clanging]
[audience murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Just usin' my magic here! Classic Bootmother.
[audience ohhh's]
[clangs]
Fluttershy: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. Sorry!
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]

Choose Sunset Shimmer! endingEdit

[zip!]
[creaks]
Sunset Shimmer: [awkwardly] Oh, Coal Miner #2, it is I, the assistant director, um, of the play of life!
Fluttershy: [gasps, whispering] This isn't in the script!
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] Follow my lead. [out loud] You're a genius. You crashed this bell on purpose. For this bell is a metaphor, is it not?
Fluttershy: It is?
Sunset Shimmer: [dramatically] Whether it's our family's expectations to work in the coal mine or if it's a fear of the spotlight, we all need to let go of what's holding us back. The pressures of life turn all into diamonds!
[audience aww's]
Sunset Shimmer: Come on, everybody! Join in! Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Everyone: Ding-dong...
Snips and Snails: Dong-ding...
Everyone: Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] You got this.
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]
Snips: [sniffs] Do you believe in me, buddy?
Snails: I do!
Snips and Snails: [sobbing]

Happily Ever After PartyEdit

[cheers and applause]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! What's the lowdown on the after-party hoedown? I'm ready to throw down!
Rainbow Dash: Is it gonna be the best night ever or what?!
Apple Bloom: Suppose so.
Sweetie Belle: [simultaneously] Perhaps.
Scootaloo: [simultaneously] Eh.
Rarity: Whatever is the matter, girls? I thought you were excited for the soirée.
Sweetie Belle: We were. We even put together a super special slide show of all the great memories we made while doing the play.
Scootaloo: But Mr. Cranky Doodle says parties are not an "appropriate appropriation of his expensive projector".
Rainbow Dash: Maybe one of us can turn that heart of coal into a diamond!

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: If he's gonna be stubborn about it, so can we.
[door opens]
Applejack: Hey there, Mr. Cranky Doodle. I heard ya won't let us borrow your projector for our party.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ya heard right.
Apple Bloom: Ooh, she's gonna have a good old-fashioned stubborn-off!
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
Applejack: I'm askin' nice.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: The answer's no.
Applejack: Not leavin' without it.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You're gonna be here awhile.
Applejack: Fine by me.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Talking overnight.
Applejack: Got a sleepin' bag.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Floor's not comfortable.
Applejack: Air mattress, too.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll hyperventilate.
Applejack: Got an air pump.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Won't let you plug it in.
Applejack: Foot-powered.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll get a cramp.
Applejack: Eat bananas for potassium.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: They're... not... in... season!
Applejack: You're right. I can admit when I'm beat.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ha!
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
Rainbow Dash: Great party, you guys! Yeah, good times.
[amazed reactions]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Hey!
[dramatic music]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Thanks for finding my flashlight.
[click, click]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I've missed this.
[door closes]
Cutie Mark Crusaders, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]

Choose Rarity! endingEdit

Rarity: Don't worry, girls. In the fashion industry, there is no room for compromise, and I happen to be an excellent negotiator.
[door opens]
Rarity: Good evening, Mr. Cranky Doodle.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Oh, hello, Rarity.
["Law & Order"-esque music]
Rarity: I am here representing the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I understand you are denying them the use of a projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes. My projector.
Rarity: Uh, let the record show that Mr. Cranky Doodle has identified the projector in question. So, if I am understanding you correctly, this is your projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes.
Rarity: And you take it home with you when the school day ends.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Well, no, I can't do that. I—
Rarity: Mm. That's right. You can't do that, can you? In fact, this projector cannot leave the school premises because it isn't your projector at all. It is the property of Canterlot High School...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Rarity: ...a public school funded by hardworking taxpayers such as Applejack and myself! So, technically, is this not the taxpayers' projector? My projector? Applejack's projector?!
["Law & Order"-esque music builds to a climax]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Uh...
Rarity: Therefore, did you not lie under oath when you identified it as your own?
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I didn't take an oath. You're out of order!
Rarity: This whole projector situation is out of order! I'm confiscating this as evidence.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wait! It's expensive, and it could be damaged if not cared for properly. Also, I pay taxes, too!
Rarity: You think you'd feel more comfortable if someone were there to supervise it?
[indistinct conversations]
Sweetie Belle: We did it!
[high fives]
Rarity: Oh, delighted we could reach a settlement. In exchange for the projector, he could attend the party to supervise said projector.
[rhythmic clapping]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

[marker squeaking]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wrong. Wrong. Right, but...
[door opens]
Scootaloo: Mr. Cranky Doodle, come quick! There's a full-blown math emergency backstage!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: A "math-mergency"?!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Drops is fixin' to take the square root of negative one!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: It's worse than ℹ︎ could've imagined! I say "ℹ︎" and "imagine" because...
[door creaks]
[spy music playing]
[whiffle!]
[drawer opening]
[creak!]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: I'm just gonna borrow this.
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
[projector clicking]
[conversations continue]
Rarity: Ah! Looks like they threw a splendid party after all.
Rainbow Dash: They just needed a little coaching.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.
Rarity: Where are those girls, anyway?
[conversations continue]
Scootaloo: Uh, we gotta get back to—
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ah-ah-ah! Here's where the problem really shifts into high gear. Take that solution and plug it into this function, and the square root and the sum of the second prime number divided... [trails off]


Best Trends ForeverEdit

Flash Sentry: Cloudy mornings will clear up in a flash. [plays guitar] Giving us clear skies all week to jam out to this tune. And that's your Weather... in a Flash. [clicks tongue]
Rarity: Thank you, Flash. Now for this week's most essential forecast: trends, featuring me, Rarity, your on-trend friend. As always, I look to Prim Hemline's style guide for inspiration. [sighs] Which I have memorized, so, uh... the latest trend simply has to be, uh... Don't panic, Rarity. You once made a skirt out of slap bracelets. You can find inspiration anywhere!

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

Rarity: The latest trend: Smart is Chic!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Trixie Lulamoon: Twilight, the Great and Powerful and Smart Trixie has a question for you and you alone. How do I get to that cool place with those little bound stacks of paper?
Twilight Sparkle: Books? Do you mean the library?
Trixie Lulamoon: The library!
Twilight Sparkle: Down the hallway to your right.
Trixie Lulamoon: Library, here we come!
Silver Spoon: Twilight, which word is cooler? "Boronic" or "onomatopoeia"?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, they're both kind of bombastic.
Diamond Tiara: "Bomb-tastic"? Oh, oh, I love that! It's like "da bomb" plus "fantastic"!
Twilight Sparkle: No. Bombastic means overly florid in an attempt to sound impressive.
Diamond Tiara: Whoa. Bombastic much?
Silver Spoon: Ooh! You just got incinerated!
Twilight Sparkle: What's gotten into everyone?
Students: [chanting, mispronouncing] Ski-ence! Ski-ence! Ski-ence!
Twilight Sparkle: There's a month-long wait list to check out the sequel to the book I just finished.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Arthropods"?
Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs] Not everything, obviously. Why is everyone suddenly into the stuff I'm into and taking my books?
Rarity: I may have taken the teeniest, tiniest, little bit of inspiration from... well, you. I'm sorry, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That's okay, Rarity. I'm flattered. Besides, trends come and go, but friendship is always in fashion.
Twilight Sparkle and Rarity: Ooooh!
Rarity: And not to worry. Dramatic capes are about to pop!
Students: Ski-ence! Capes? Capes! [clamoring]
[zip!]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Rarity: The latest trend has to be... rainbows! Sherbets, sprinkles, or rainbow hair – it's all in!
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh!
Rarity: Oh, so glad I found you, Rainbow Dash. I am tailoring a particularly tricky pinafore, and I was wondering if...
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful—!
Rarity: Oh, uh, thank you. Uh, b-but I'm late for... b-being over there. [laughing] I just had the most embarrassing mix-up. I thought I was talking to you— [gasps, stammering] No, no. No, it can't-can't be. Oh! Excuse me! [screams]
[thud]
Rarity: [narrating] Submitted for your approval. A portrait of a school taken over by a trend. Namely, a hairstyle. Rainbow in nature, the calling card of one ROY G. BIV.
Rarity: Oof!
Rarity: [narrating] So if you choose to enroll in this class-wide craze, hurry up and catch the bus headed for... the Rainbow Zone.
Rarity: [screaming]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Hey, Rarity. I don't know what it is, but everyone looks awesome today!

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Rarity: [gasps] Confetti! Of course!
Pinkie Pie: [hyperventilating] Confetti? I love confetti! And parties and cupcakes and surprises, but most of all... [deep breath] Confetti!
[squeak!]
Applejack: Can the next trend be a little less... messy, Rarity?
Twilight Sparkle: [sneezes]
Rarity: Well, this place needed a little color, don't you think?
[squeak! squeak! squeak!]
Applejack: If Principal Celestia sees this, we'll be in trouble. Let's get to cleanin'!
[montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: [whistles]
Applejack: Party's over, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: A party? And I missed it?! Aw, shoot! I was busy spreading the joy of confetti to the whole entire school!
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity: We know!
Principal Celestia: Great job cleaning up, girls. Pinkie Pie, lay off the confetti, okay?
Pinkie Pie: Okay...
[SQUEAK!]
Rarity: [sighs] This afternoon's trend forecast... Detention.
Pinkie Pie: Wheeee! [giggles]

Fluttershy's ButterfliesEdit

Rainbow Dash: Auditions for the Fall Play!
Applejack: I can't believe we're doin' "Dazzled" this year.
Rarity: Ooh! Nothing holds a candle to the glamour of legitimate theater. I was born for the lead — Selfie Soot! [in a Southern belle accent] A coal miner's daughter with the heart of a dancer.
Pinkie Pie: Let's all do the play together! Aah! It'll be like planning an amazing party where everything has to be perfect or we get embarrassed in front of the whole school. Right, Fluttershy?
[zip!]
Fluttershy: [quietly] I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. Ahem. "Down here, we mine for coal."
Rainbow Dash: Uh, you okay, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Ohhh... It would be so fun to be in the play with all of you. But when I think about trying out on stage all alone... Mm-mm.
Rainbow Dash: You perform all the time with the Rainbooms.
Fluttershy: Well, it's different when we're all together. It's less... terrifying.
Applejack: You know, I got just the trick for stage fright.
Rainbow Dash: I bet I could help, too – in half the time as Applejack.
Applejack: It ain't a contest. But if it were, I'd win.
Fluttershy: Really? Hmm... Who should I pick to help me?

Choose Rainbow Dash endingEdit

Rainbow Dash: You just need a little practice speaking in front of a crowd. Ready?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm. [distressed squeal]
Rainbow Dash: You'll thank me later. Game on!
Fluttershy: [taps microphone]
[feedback]
[whistle blows]
[students cheering]
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] Here goes. Um, in between two with the... score time...
"Cherry Crash" and "Mystery Mint": Huh?
Fluttershy: [over loudspeaker] She's bringing, um... Oh, help me, somebody. The... ball goes up, and... boom goes a header ball— a-a head ball. Uh... Oh, no. [whimpering]
Rainbow Dash: Lose yourself in the game! Come on, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [sighs, over loudspeaker] Number twenty-two is pushing to the... limit. The ball, it's tucked away by number thirty-four, who passes back to Dash. She holds it, makes her move. She's coming, hears the crowd, she's wide open! I don't believe it!
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for... cooooooaaaaaaaal!
[students cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. And the crowd goes wild.

Choose Applejack endingEdit

Applejack: Surefirest cure for stage fright is to picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens.
Fluttershy: Chickens?
Applejack: Heh. A little cluck-cluck, and it'll pluck ya right up. You never heard of this trick?
Fluttershy: Mm-mm.
Applejack: Everyone does it. And I mean everyone.
Fluttershy: Even you?
[chicken clucks]
Fluttershy: Oh.
Applejack: Told ya.
Applejack: [voiceover, echoing] Picture everyone in the audience as a bunch of chickens...
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Applejack: [clucking]
Fluttershy: I'm Fluttershy, trying out for Coal Miner #2. "Down here, we mine for coal."
[overlapped approval]
Applejack: Heh. Chicken trick worked, huh?
Fluttershy: Actually, I pictured everyone in the audience as you, Applejack.
Applejacks: We believe in you, Fluttershy!
Applejack: Heh. Awww. Well, I'm glad you were able to imagine it in one way or the other. 'Cause my backup plan wasn't so hot.
[chickens clucking]
Applejack: [clears throat] Speakin' of which, I should probably get them back to the farm.
[chicken clucks]

Choose DJ Pon-3 endingEdit

[loud, bass-heavy music]
Fluttershy: Down here, we mine for coal.
[students cheering]
Rarity: Wow. She really knows how to make an entrance.

Text SupportEdit

[school bell rings]
Pinkie Pie: How cool is chemistry class? I can't believe I got to come up with my very own chemical formula – jalapeño supernova cupcake frosting! [slurps]
[phone buzzing]
Sunset Shimmer: That wasn't the assignment.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, you sound just like my lab partners. [to Snips and Snails] Couldn't have done it without you guys!
Twilight Sparkle: I just got the weirdest text from Timber Spruce.
Rarity: Pirate, plane, alligator, thumbs up, waterfall, golf club, ice cream sundae.
Twilight Sparkle: What does it mean? Is it an inside joke? A hieroglyphic reference? A secret code? Ugh! My brain feels weird. I'm not used to not knowing things.
Rarity: Hmmm. Sounds like you could use a translator.
Fluttershy: I could help.
Sunset Shimmer: Leave this one to me.
Twilight Sparkle: Who can get me out of this text-astrophe?

Choose Rarity! endingEdit

Rarity: As you are no doubt keenly aware, I am fluent in all the latest text slang, "phone lingo". [chuckles] If I may?
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. So, you're just gonna—
Rarity: No, no, darling.
[phone chimes]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much. But what'd I just say?
[phone buzzes]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! He replied!
Rarity: Robot, shooting star, trophy? [laughing] Oh, he's a witty one.
Twilight Sparkle: He won a space robot contest!
[beat]
Rarity: Fancy dress, anvil, high-five, napkin...
Twilight Sparkle: Anvil? I don't know if—
Rarity: Shh-shh! Darling, darling.
[phone buzzes]
Rarity: [laughing] Do you like ice cream?
Twilight Sparkle: Who doesn't like ice cream?
Rarity: Check mark, check mark, couple holding hands, sunshine, three balloons, spoon! [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, but what just happened?
Rarity: Oh, well, I started by sending a dragon because you're powerful, ice cube and snail because you're cool but take it slow, and then pyramid, well, for obvious reasons. Then he was way into it, so in this last one, I was just double-checking. You and Timber Spruce have a date on Sunday at three o'clock to have ice cream.
Twilight Sparkle: Thumbs up, smiley face!
Rarity: You're welcome.

Choose Fluttershy! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: So, what are you thinking, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: I'd start with... a bird.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good.
Fluttershy: Then iguana, guinea pig, regular pig, frog, baby chick in the egg, baby chick out of the egg, all three see-no-evil monkeys, cat, cat, cat, cat, all the cats, and, um...
[squirrel chitters]
Fluttershy: ...finish it with a squirrel on his hind legs.
Twilight Sparkle: Sounds good. Sent. That was perfect! So, what did we just send?
Fluttershy: A bunch of cute animal emojis! [giggles]
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: But what does it mean?!
[phone buzzes]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] He says yes to the zoo! The zoo? Ohhhh! The zoo! Thank you, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: No matter what the problem is, adorable animals are always the answer.

Choose Sunset Shimmer! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: Timber Spruce wants to dress up like pirates and fly through waterfalls with an alligator while we eat ice cream with golf clubs for spoons?! That's crazy! Golf clubs would make terrible spoons.
Sunset Shimmer: Have you thought about maybe asking him what he means?
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh, great idea! How would I ask that in emojis?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh.
[phone beeps, dials]
Twilight Sparkle: Calling?! No calling! Who talks on the phone?! [strains] Sunset, whyyyy?!
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, Timber Spruce? Sunset Shimmer here.
[indistinct talking]
Sunset Shimmer: Mm. Mm-hmm. That text you sent Twilight Sparkle. Mm-hmm. Ohhh! [chuckles] That's what you meant? That's what Twilight thought, but we weren't sure. Thanks.
Twilight Sparkle: You just... boy talked... mouth words... phone.
Sunset Shimmer: He's wondering if you're free to play pirate alligator mini-golf this weekend.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, duh! Of course! How do I say yes?
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh. Heh.
[indistinct talking]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes!

Stressed in ShowEdit

Rarity: [in a Southern belle accent] Mother, I fear I do not share your dreams of coal. Instead, my heartbeat calls for me to dance!
[beat]
Rarity: Ahem. Heartbeat calls for me to dance? To dance!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry. Uh... [reading] But Selfie Soot, my sweet summer child, without your help, I'll never mine the mine in time. Or run lines with Flash Sentry in time, or help Applejack build a stage in time, or practice my monologue in time, or find time for time and time! [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, am I missing a page?
Sunset Shimmer: Um, when was the last time you took a break from the play?
Twilight Sparkle: Take a break! Break a leg! Break a take!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering] I think she's broken.
Sunset Shimmer: Breathe, Twilight. You just need something to take your mind off the play a little while. We're here for you. Right, everyone?
Rainbow Dash: Of course!
Fluttershy: Let one of us help take your mind off it.
Pinkie Pie: You bet!

Choose Fluttershy! endingEdit

[bird chirps]
Fluttershy: Ta-da! Just what you needed. An escape to nature.
[squish]
Fluttershy: Oh, dear. I got mud on my boots.
Twilight Sparkle: Boots?! That reminds me! I need to help Rarity design Selfie Soot's magic boots for the play!
Fluttershy: Oh, no-no-no. Don't think about that. Think about... this. [whispering] Be as cute as you can possibly be.
Angel: [chittering]
Twilight Sparkle: Aww! He's adorable!
Fluttershy: It's why I love nature so much more than big cities.
Twilight Sparkle: Shiny City! Applejack is building the city sets while we're out here lost in the woods!
Fluttershy: Aah! Animals, unite!
[animals chattering]
Fluttershy: Dazzle her with your tranquility.
Twilight Sparkle: "Dazzled" is the name of the play!
[birds chirping, hooting]
[woodpecker pecking]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Oh, yeah. This... this is nice. Heh. So relaxing, so calm, so... [snoring]
Fluttershy: Shhh. Let her take a little nap, everyone. All we need now is some volunteers to keep her warm. Spunky and Plunky, are you up to the task?
[skunks chittering]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Twilight Sparkle: [panting]
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Twilight! Only ten laps to go!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm fasting as lap as I can!
Rainbow Dash: A great practice always clears my head. I promise. You'll feel great in no time. Right, guys?
Sunset Shimmer: [panting] We'll catch up!
[rock montage music]
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Hi-yah!
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Woo-hoo!
Rainbow Dash: Hah. Look at that. You beat me. And I only sorta let you win.
Twilight Sparkle: I feel completely de-stressed. And we managed to give Spike some exercise.
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] And I guess Sunset, too.
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Rainbow Dash: Wow.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I know what we could do to get your mind off the play. We could ask Rarity for a makeover. Oh! Or ask Bulk Biceps for a massage. He gives such good massages. Or we could ask Applejack to whip you up an apple face mask. Ah, there are so many options! Maybe too many options? It's kind of stressful just thinking about it. Right? Huh? Where'd you go?
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Take a look at this! I made an anti-stress list. You love lists, don't you? Well, to start, this is a list of lists we could make. We could make a list about color, a list about numbers, a list about buckets, lists— Twilight? Twilight?
[school bell rings]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Whew.
Pinkie Pie: Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Aaaah!
Pinkie Pie: I had a feeling you'd be here.
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, listen. I really appreciate what you're trying to do and everything, but it's too much. All day, all I've been able to think about is, "Where's Pinkie Pie? Where's Pinkie Pie?" I haven't had one moment to...
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: ...think about the play. [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: You're welcome!

Driving Miss ShimmerEdit

Fluttershy: What do you mean you failed?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, groans] Mr. Cranky Doodle said I didn't have enough experience to pass the driving test. I have a retest on Monday, but it's my last chance, and he wants me to practice with someone more experienced.
Rarity: Oh, pfft. Darling, is that all? I can take you any time you like.
Applejack: Don't fret your fritters. I can borrow Granny's truck.
Fluttershy: We could use my car.
Sunset Shimmer: Well, I guess I'll go with...

Choose Rarity endingEdit

[limo screeches]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
Rarity: Isn't it fabulous? I rented it for the day. If you're going to study driving, you must do it in style. I call it "stretch chic".
[door closes]
[car vrooming]
Rarity: Now, just a few things that you absolutely must know. Always have both sparkling and still water. You never know which one your passengers will prefer. Never play the music too loud or too soft. It has to be just enough that their heads bob but not so much that they cover their ears. And finally, always have your lights on the ready in case of an impromptu party breaking out.
Sunset Shimmer: Your headlights?
[dance music playing]
Sunset Shimmer: Rarity, I'm not going to prom. I'm just trying to pass my driving test.
Rarity: Darling, can't we do both?
Rarity: Just a little bit— Oh! No, an inch to the left. Now—ooh, careful! The shoulder! Watch the shoulder! Ooh, driving can be stressful, darling.
Cranky Doodle: Not bad, Sunset. You completed the left turn, the right turn, the U-turn, and the K-turn. But now comes the party where everyone fails – parallel parking. Don't expect to—
Sunset Shimmer: Done.
Cranky Doodle: Where on Earth did you learn to do that?
Sunset Shimmer: Mmm, I just had to... stretch my talents.
Cranky Doodle: I don't get it. Eh.

Choose Applejack endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Thanks for helping me out, Applejack.
Applejack: Think nothin' of it. I've been lookin' for a reason to take a spin in the old jalopy.
Granny Smith: Who are you callin' a jalopy?!
Sunset Shimmer: [coughing]
Granny Smith: See? Like she's fresh off the lot.
Applejack: Whew. I can't believe she's still in such good condition.
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, she's something, all right.
Granny Smith: You girls ready for the ride of your lives?
[engine revving]
Granny Smith: Now, the first thing you ought to know is—
[pop, hiss]
Granny Smith: ...be prepared.
Sunset Shimmer: To fail?
Granny Smith: For anything.
Applejack: [grunts] All right, Sunset. Use that wrench to loosen the bolts, and we'll get this tire replaced in two shakes of an apple tree.
Sunset Shimmer: Heh. And what if I don't have you and Granny Smith around?
Applejack: Well...
Cranky Doodle: Oh, this is unfortunate. Of course I know how to change a tire, but, uh, I wouldn't want you waiting around. So I guess, uh... you fail? Is that fair? Hmm?
Sunset Shimmer: Not to worry. I know exactly what we need.
Cranky Doodle: Ya do?
Sunset Shimmer: An apple-jack. [chuckles]

Choose Fluttershy endingEdit

Fluttershy: Sunset, over here!
Sunset Shimmer: Sweet ride, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: In you go, Miss Kitty.
[cat meows]
Sunset Shimmer: All right! I'm ready to clock some miles on this bad boy! Let's do this!
Fluttershy: [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer. Check your little engine light to make sure that the trip's all right. The coolest drivers will admire—
Sunset Shimmer: All right!
Fluttershy: ...properly inflated tires.
Sunset Shimmer: So, what are we learning first? Turns? Switching lanes? Parking?
Fluttershy: Oh! Funny you should ask. I actually have a rhyme for that, too.
[horn blares]
Cranky Doodle: Now, Sunset, I know all this safety business might seem boring to you – and it is – but it's also... [groans] ...important. Tell me what do you do even before you start the car.
Sunset Shimmer: Turn up the radi— Oh, not that. [rhythmically] It's the driving safety rhyme. Start your trip with seat belt time. Nine and three is where you'll be. Adjust your mirror to see things clearer.
Cranky Doodle: Very nice. If your driving's as good as your rhymings, I'm sure you'll do just fine...-ings.
Sunset Shimmer: [rhythmically] I had some help from the best. Now it's time to pass this test.
Cranky Doodle: Just start the car.

Rarity Investigates: The Case of the Bedazzled BootEdit

Flash Sentry: [reading] I tell ya, no coal-minin' daughter of ours is goin' to Shiny City wearin' boots like those!
Sunset Shimmer: Cut!
Snips: [chuckling]
Sunset Shimmer: Snips, Snails, where's the other boot?
Snips: Hey, props ain't our job.
Sunset Shimmer: Yes, it is. Your job is props.
Snips: Well, yes, but... Right.
Sunset Shimmer: The play about is magic dancing boots. No one's buying tickets to see a magic dancing boot.
Rarity: [gasps] Somebody's pilfered my bedazzled boot, eh? Not good. But a new case falling right into my lap? Not bad. Don't you worry your sweet red head... redhead. [snaps fingers] Speaking as the lead whose foot that boot adorns – and the costume designer whose mind dreamt of it in the first place – let me assure you I shall find the boot. But where to begin? Somebody's got to know something.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Rarity: What do you say, Miss Pie – if that's your real name?
Pinkie Pie: I can't take it anymore! It was me! I did it! I'm the one! [crying]
Rarity: Pinkie, it couldn't have been you.
Pinkie Pie: Huh? It couldn't have?
Rarity: You were nowhere near the auditorium when it went missing.
Pinkie Pie: I wasn't?
Rarity: You were at the frozen yogurt shop.
Pinkie Pie: I was?
Rarity: You literally still have frozen yogurt in your hand.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm. Yeah. You were just so upset, I thought confessing would make you feel better.
Rarity: [narrating] I could tell that dame had a sweet tooth for trouble. [speaking] There's still something you're not telling me. You saw something!
Pinkie Pie: Like, at the frozen yogurt shop, I took more than one free sample, and then I put the used sample spoons in the wrong cup.
Rarity: Slow down.
Pinkie Pie: And then someone took my spoon.
Rarity: This is bigger than spoons!
Pinkie Pie: And I watched them, Rarity!
Rarity: P-P-Pinkie—
Pinkie Pie: I watched them eat my yogurt germs!
Rarity: Pinkie Pie, please! Have you or have you not seen my boot?!
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh! You mean that one under the pile of bell-bottoms?
Rarity: [gasps] You solved the mystery!
Pinkie Pie: But I have so much more to confess.
Rarity: [slurps, narrating] Solving a case never tasted so good.

Choose Trixie! endingEdit

Rarity: [narrating] The moment she strutted into my office, I already knew she was guilty. Only guilty people strut like that. That's a guilty person strut.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] The moment I strutted into her office, I knew I could outsmart this buffoon.
Rarity: [narrating] The dame wasn't talking, and that was fine. I can not talk, too. I can not talk for hours. I'm not even talking right now.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Heh. Me neither.
Rarity: [narrating] Looks like Trixie picked up a racket and decided to play.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Little does she know two can play this game.
[clock ticking]
Rarity: [narrating] Oh, she's good. But I had a little special something prepared.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Makeup? We could be here...
Rarity: [narrating] ...for hours.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] You win this round, Rarity, but the match ain't over yet. The Great and Powerful Trixie always prevail—
[crunch]
Trixie Lulamoon: Ow! You better clean up these rocks. Someone could get hurt. Not me, but you know, something.
Rarity: Spike?!
Spike: Sorry. I wanted to see what it's like to be a dancer.
Rarity: You want to dance in the play? Aw, we'll find a spot for you, Spike, but next time you borrow a boot, ask first. [narrating] Case closed.
Trixie Lulamoon: [narrating] Trixie, amazing.
Spike: [narrating] How come nobody's talking out loud?

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: Well, last time I saw them together was, uh, when I was buildin' the mine shaft set over by the costume rack.
Rarity: [narrating] Detectives trust their instincts, and mine were telling me to check the costume rack.
Rarity and Applejack: Maud?!
[thunder crashing]
Rarity: Of all the people, Maud?! Honestly, I never pegged you for a crook! Who put you up to it? What do you got against my big debut? Why aren't you answering me? Why? Why?! Why?!
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Huh. You might have thought this one is rose quartz, but it's actually amethyst.
Applejack: Uh, nobody thought that.
Rarity: They're just rhinestones, darling.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Made of amethyst. The world's largest amethyst geode weighs two and a half tons.
Rarity: A t-t-two-and-a-half-ton bedazzling gem?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Are you imagining yourself hugging it?
Rarity: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I am.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Me, too.
Rarity: Glimmering, gleaming, glitzing geodes... all for me! [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh. Nice.

All the World's Off StageEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Go! Go! And go!
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: Ten seconds to set change. Stage crew ready?
Snips and Snails: [grunting] Uh-huh.
Sunset Shimmer: In five, four, three... Pyro!
[fog machine]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[scenery creaking, music warps down]
Snips and Snails: [grunting]
[thud]
[crowd aw's and talks]
Sunset Shimmer: [blows] Guys, the effect is ruined if we don't get the set across the stage in time with the dancers.
Snips: Ugh! But it's like moving a ton of bricks that's been built like... like a city!
Sunset Shimmer: There's gotta be a better way to move this thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry, Sunset. I've got an idea!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Me, too! Pick me, pick me, pick me!
[lights shut off]
Micro Chips: Surely, brains, not brawns, are the secret formula for backstage success.

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Thanks, Twilight. Your geode powers will make moving this set a cinch. Ready? Magic, go!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight— Aah!
[robotic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: This is the perfect chance to test my Robotics Club project.
Sunset Shimmer: I would've gone with super amazing, perfect-for-this-specific-problem Equestrian magic, but okay.
Snips: Oh, great! There go the robots taking all our high-paying jobs again!
Snails: Yeah! Wait. We're getting paid for this?
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh!
[robotic noises]
[disco music]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
[clanking and whirring]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, your robot's amazing! Let's do this one more time from the top.
Twilight Sparkle: Ready when you are!

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie, what are these?
Pinkie Pie: Party balloons!
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure we have time for balloons.
Pinkie Pie: You will make time, Sunset! I mean, there's always time for balloons. Ha ha!
Snails: [shudders, stiltedly] I love balloons. They're not scary at all.
Snips: Little balls of joy!
[creaking, pop!]
Snips: Aah! Traitor!
Snails: I told you!
Pinkie Pie: Actually, they're the set.
Sunset Shimmer: You mean they're for the set.
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: I feel like you're gonna have to explain this.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Nope.
Sunset Shimmer: Bring in Shiny City!
[disco music]
[zip! zip! zip!]
[air rushing]
Pinkie Pie: See? Balloons can do anything.
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs]

Choose Micro Chips! endingEdit

Micro Chips: While simple machines do provide a mechanical advantage, by multiplying force against a single load — i.e., the set — I'm afraid the net loss of force due to friction in the opposite vector has not been overcome.
Sunset Shimmer: No kidding.
Snips: Pfft. Your face is an opposite vector.
Micro Chips: "Your face" is nothing more than a genetically predetermined arrangement of stratified squamous epithelial cells.
[squeak! squeak!]
Snails: Oh, snap, Snips! Burn! I think.
Snips: Harsh.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm not sure you'll be able to move that giant heavy set on your own.
Micro Chips: I won't be moving anything. This muscle is gonna convince those muscles to move it on their own.
Sunset Shimmer: Bulk Biceps? But I already asked him for help. He's too busy working out for his part in the play: Lump of Coal.
Bulk Biceps: This Lump of Coal is gonna be cut like a diamond! [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: And... bring in Shiny City!
[disco music]
Bulk Biceps: Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
Micro Chips: Go! Muscle, muscle, muscle!
Sunset Shimmer: How'd you convince him to stop and help?
Micro Chips: Isn't it obvious? I fabricated a counterfactual peer review to pseudo-scientific study in Insane Lats magazine that postulates the only way to make your shirt uncomfortably tight for the summer is battle ropes.
Bulk Biceps: I battled the ropes, and I won!
Sunset Shimmer: You are a genius.

Constructive CriticismEdit

[handiwork noies]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, I'm so glad we picked you to be the set designer, Applejack.
Applejack: I'm the only one who applied, so...
Sunset Shimmer: And the plans look fantastic. Just one thing. One little, kinda huge, important thing. Is this gonna be built in time?
Applejack: Absolutely! Construction's the quick part. Like I always say: "Measure twice, cut once. But only after you measure three more times." [resumes hammering]
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting] Glad that's not my job! I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting louder] I said I'd be afraid I'd hammer my finger or something!
Applejack: What?!
Sunset Shimmer: [shouting even louder] I said—
[thuds]
Applejack: Waaah!
Nurse Redheart: You're going to be fine.
Applejack: Whew!
Nurse Redheart: Just stay away from lifting, hammering, cutting, anything set-building related.
Applejack: But the play's this Friday! Don't worry, Sunset. I still got thi— Ow!
Sunset Shimmer: How about we get you an assistant set designer?
Applejack: I guess I could use a hand.

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

Applejack: Thanks a bushel for helpin' me build the set, Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: You got it, AJ! This is gonna be done before you can say, "Take a look at this blueprint!"
[whooshing]
[whirring]
Applejack: Well, actually, Rainbow Dash, you really should take a look at this blueprint.
Rainbow Dash: Already did. Got it up here.
[whirring]
Applejack: Slow down!
Rainbow Dash: No time!
[zip!]
[whirring!]
Applejack: But ya need to measure more and cut less! You're not measurin' enough!
[whooshing]
Applejack: Stoooop!
Rainbow Dash: What's up? I'm done, by the way.
[music]
Applejack: Hmm. This doesn't look like the blueprints. It's... even better!
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Heh. I guess I was looking at the green prints. Is that what these are? Sorry.
Applejack: That ain't a green print. That's... That's my vision board on green paper.
Rainbow Dash: Say what now?
Applejack: Green is my power color. I sketched out all the stuff I wish I could build but knew I'd never have time, and you've just built it all.
Rainbow Dash: Only because I followed your amazing ideas.
Applejack: Where'd you find this?
Rainbow Dash: Oh. I ran to your house while I was building. Your room is a mess, by the way. And your diary was unlocked. I didn't read it.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: [quickly] Okay, I read it.

Choose Pinkie Pie! endingEdit

Applejack: Are you sure you have time to help, Pinkie Pie? Don't you need to practice your drum solo?
Pinkie Pie: I am gonna practice my drum solo, silly. A-one, two, three, four!
[drumming]
Applejack: So you can't help me?
Pinkie Pie: I can't hear you! I'm busy helping!
[zip!]
[rhythmic hammering]
[rhythmic handiwork]
Applejack: Pinkie! Drum over here!
Pinkie Pie: Okay!
Applejack: And over here!
Pinkie Pie: You got it!
[rhythmic drumming, hammering continues]
[deep thud]
Pinkie Pie: Thank you, Canterlot High School! What'd ya think?
[drum roll]
Applejack: I'll be honest. I think you drummed up one heck of a set, Pinkie Pie.
[rimshot]
Applejack and Pinkie Pie: [laugh]

Choose Photo Finish! endingEdit

Applejack: So what we got here is a basic disco layout with a light-up dance floor and recessed cans to backlight the performance.
Photo Finish: B-b-buh! Mouth closed please.
Applejack: [muffled] But how am I supposed to tell ya what to do?
Photo Finish: Vit' your heart, Applejek! Open it and let Photo Finish feel where ze light needs to be, und zen ze set vill be built vere ze lights are not! [snaps fingers]
[uptempo music plays]
Applejack: Soooooooooooooo... what do I do?
Photo Finish: You're already doing it.
[music continues]
Photo Finish: Yes! Can't you feel it?!
Applejack: Feel what?
Photo Finish: Da passions!
[ding!]
Photo Finish: Shh! It iz time!
Applejack: What? [stutters] This doesn't look anything like it's supposed to.
Photo Finish: You are looking vit' your eyes! Look vit' your heart!
Applejack: You're makin' less sense than a jackrabbit on roller skates.
Photo Finish: Behold!
[electricity humming]
Applejack: Whoa. Thank you so much.
[flash!]
Photo Finish: Zat look! Zat is vhy I do zis! [snaps] I go!
[zip!]

Opening NightEdit

[indistinct conversations]
[conversations stop]
Rarity: [American accent] Ma, Pa, I have got to leave this humdrum, do-nothin', lump-of-coal town. I'm goin' to be the best disco dancer that Club Amethyst has ever seen!
Twilight Sparkle: [old lady voice] Bury those silly dreams in a slag heap, Selfie. Only fools try to make it big in Shiny City.
Rarity: How will I ever become a disco dancer when all I know is coal, coal, [crying] coal?!
[door opens]
[creaking]
"Curly Winds": [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Your canary tears have summoned me, my child. It is I, your Fairy Bootmother.
[audience oohs]
Rainbow Dash: [stiltedly] Do not despair, for all coal turns to diamonds.
[music]
Rarity: [squeals]
[cheering and applause]
[disco music]
[zip!]
Snips: Hey!
Applejack: How's Coal Miner #2 doin'?
Fluttershy: Thinking of calling in sick?
Applejack: Don't be nervous. It's only one line. All you have to do is ring that bell and say, "The mine is closed."
Fluttershy: [quietly] "The mine is closed."
Applejack: Yeah, that, but... maybe a little louder?
[applause]
Applejack: Ha! Go get 'em!
[electricity humming]
Fluttershy: [breathes deeply]
Snips: Nuh-uh!
Snails: Hey!
Snips: [grunts]
[rope creaking]
[clangs]
[audience gasps]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Sunset Shimmer: Oh!
Applejack: Fluttershy needs our help!

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: [to Snips and Snails] Quick! I need a costume!
Snails: Uh, we only have one.
Applejack: [facepalms, groans]
Applejack: Ooh, pardon me. Talkin' apple tree comin' through. Oh, hello, coal mine. Just me, the magical talkin' apple tree. R-Remember, Fairy Bootmother? You enchanted me?
[creaks]
Rainbow Dash: Oh. Y-Yeah. I certainly enchanted you. Heh. That.
[creaks]
Applejack: [grunts] Well. Would ya look at that? The bell's back where it needs to be. Someone should really ring it. Just flutter on over. Don't be shy.
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]

Choose Twilight Sparkle! endingEdit

[screech! whiffle, whiffle, whiffle]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[clink! whirr!]
[whoosh!]
[music]
[sparkle!]
[magic noises]
[bell clanging]
[audience murmuring]
Rainbow Dash: Just usin' my magic here! Classic Bootmother.
[audience ohhh's]
[clangs]
Fluttershy: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. Sorry!
[bell clanging]
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]

Choose Sunset Shimmer! endingEdit

[zip!]
[creaks]
Sunset Shimmer: [awkwardly] Oh, Coal Miner #2, it is I, the assistant director, um, of the play of life!
Fluttershy: [gasps, whispering] This isn't in the script!
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] Follow my lead. [out loud] You're a genius. You crashed this bell on purpose. For this bell is a metaphor, is it not?
Fluttershy: It is?
Sunset Shimmer: [dramatically] Whether it's our family's expectations to work in the coal mine or if it's a fear of the spotlight, we all need to let go of what's holding us back. The pressures of life turn all into diamonds!
[audience aww's]
Sunset Shimmer: Come on, everybody! Join in! Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Everyone: Ding-dong...
Snips and Snails: Dong-ding...
Everyone: Ding-dong, ding-dong...
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] You got this.
Fluttershy: The mine is closed!
[cheers and applause]
Snips: [sniffs] Do you believe in me, buddy?
Snails: I do!
Snips and Snails: [sobbing]

Happily Ever After PartyEdit

[cheers and applause]
Applejack: Hoo-wee! What's the lowdown on the after-party hoedown? I'm ready to throw down!
Rainbow Dash: Is it gonna be the best night ever or what?!
Apple Bloom: Suppose so.
Sweetie Belle: [simultaneously] Perhaps.
Scootaloo: [simultaneously] Eh.
Rarity: Whatever is the matter, girls? I thought you were excited for the soirée.
Sweetie Belle: We were. We even put together a super special slide show of all the great memories we made while doing the play.
Scootaloo: But Mr. Cranky Doodle says parties are not an "appropriate appropriation of his expensive projector".
Rainbow Dash: Maybe one of us can turn that heart of coal into a diamond!

Choose Applejack! endingEdit

Applejack: If he's gonna be stubborn about it, so can we.
[door opens]
Applejack: Hey there, Mr. Cranky Doodle. I heard ya won't let us borrow your projector for our party.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ya heard right.
Apple Bloom: Ooh, she's gonna have a good old-fashioned stubborn-off!
Scootaloo: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
Applejack: I'm askin' nice.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: The answer's no.
Applejack: Not leavin' without it.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You're gonna be here awhile.
Applejack: Fine by me.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Talking overnight.
Applejack: Got a sleepin' bag.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Floor's not comfortable.
Applejack: Air mattress, too.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll hyperventilate.
Applejack: Got an air pump.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Won't let you plug it in.
Applejack: Foot-powered.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: You'll get a cramp.
Applejack: Eat bananas for potassium.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: They're... not... in... season!
Applejack: You're right. I can admit when I'm beat.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ha!
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
Rainbow Dash: Great party, you guys! Yeah, good times.
[amazed reactions]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Hey!
[dramatic music]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Thanks for finding my flashlight.
[click, click]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I've missed this.
[door closes]
Cutie Mark Crusaders, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash: [laughing]

Choose Rarity! endingEdit

Rarity: Don't worry, girls. In the fashion industry, there is no room for compromise, and I happen to be an excellent negotiator.
[door opens]
Rarity: Good evening, Mr. Cranky Doodle.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Oh, hello, Rarity.
["Law & Order"-esque music]
Rarity: I am here representing the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I understand you are denying them the use of a projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes. My projector.
Rarity: Uh, let the record show that Mr. Cranky Doodle has identified the projector in question. So, if I am understanding you correctly, this is your projector.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Yes.
Rarity: And you take it home with you when the school day ends.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Well, no, I can't do that. I—
Rarity: Mm. That's right. You can't do that, can you? In fact, this projector cannot leave the school premises because it isn't your projector at all. It is the property of Canterlot High School...
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [gasp]
Rarity: ...a public school funded by hardworking taxpayers such as Applejack and myself! So, technically, is this not the taxpayers' projector? My projector? Applejack's projector?!
["Law & Order"-esque music builds to a climax]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Uh...
Rarity: Therefore, did you not lie under oath when you identified it as your own?
Mr. Cranky Doodle: I didn't take an oath. You're out of order!
Rarity: This whole projector situation is out of order! I'm confiscating this as evidence.
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wait! It's expensive, and it could be damaged if not cared for properly. Also, I pay taxes, too!
Rarity: You think you'd feel more comfortable if someone were there to supervise it?
[indistinct conversations]
Sweetie Belle: We did it!
[high fives]
Rarity: Oh, delighted we could reach a settlement. In exchange for the projector, he could attend the party to supervise said projector.
[rhythmic clapping]
Cutie Mark Crusaders: [laugh]

Choose Rainbow Dash! endingEdit

[marker squeaking]
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Wrong. Wrong. Right, but...
[door opens]
Scootaloo: Mr. Cranky Doodle, come quick! There's a full-blown math emergency backstage!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: A "math-mergency"?!
Apple Bloom: Sweetie Drops is fixin' to take the square root of negative one!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: It's worse than ℹ︎ could've imagined! I say "ℹ︎" and "imagine" because...
[door creaks]
[spy music playing]
[whiffle!]
[drawer opening]
[creak!]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[whoosh!]
[door opens]
Rainbow Dash: I'm just gonna borrow this.
[indistinct conversations]
[mid-tempo music plays]
[projector clicking]
[conversations continue]
Rarity: Ah! Looks like they threw a splendid party after all.
Rainbow Dash: They just needed a little coaching.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.
Rarity: Where are those girls, anyway?
[conversations continue]
Scootaloo: Uh, we gotta get back to—
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Ah-ah-ah! Here's where the problem really shifts into high gear. Take that solution and plug it into this function, and the square root and the sum of the second prime number divided... [trails off]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Choose Your Own Ending (season 1)

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Forgotten Friendship


[Angelic]
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
You are my Equestria Girls
You turn the light switch on
It brightens up my day like the sun
When my friends come a-runnin'
You were right all along
That together we're always better
We could turn a sketch into a masterpiece
When you're here, I feel like I'm complete
You are my Equestria Girls!
[All]
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah, ah-ahhh
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ahhh
[Sunset Shimmer]
Back in the day, I used to walk these halls
Acting tough, but all alone
I needed a friend to lend me a helping hand
I couldn't do it on my own
[All]
We've come so far together
Got memories to treasure
I look at you, stories come back to life
And if I need reminding
I know where I can find you
In these pages, you'll last forever
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
Ah, ah-ah
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ahhhh
[Sunset Shimmer]
Remember when I, I lost the crown
You didn't leave me out in the rain
We still had songs to sing, magic transforming
Special in every way
The gems chose us by name
[All]
We've come so far together
Got memories to treasure
I look at you, stories come back to life
And if I need reminding
I know where I can find you
In these pages, you'll last forever
Forever, forever
[Sunset Shimmer]
In these pages, you'll last forever
[bump]
Sunset Shimmer and Wallflower Blush: Oof!
[papers flapping]
Wallflower Blush: Excuse me.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sorry. I didn't see you come in.
Wallflower Blush: I've been here for a while.
Sunset Shimmer: I didn't realize.
Wallflower Blush: I've been trying to get your attention for, like, half the song.
Applejack: [softly] Ain't she a quiet one?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. And we know some pretty shy people. Am I right?
Fluttershy: We do? Who?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm Sunset Shimmer. President of the Yearbook Committee and editor-in-chief. Do you want to join? We could always use extra help.
Wallflower Blush: I'm Wallflower Blush.
Sunset Shimmer: Nice to meet you.
Wallflower Blush: I've been on the Yearbook Committee all year.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh! Um...
Wallflower Blush: We met in ninth-grade English.
Sunset Shimmer: And... I was... saying it was nice to meet you then. You didn't let me finish.
Wallflower Blush: Anyway, I counted up all the votes for the yearbook Superlatives.
Equestria Girls: [clamoring]
Sunset Shimmer: [reading] "Most Likely to Succeed", "Best Smile", "Class Clown." [gasp] Ooh! We won "Best Friends"! Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and me!
Pinkie Pie: I always knew I liked you all, but now it's official! In yearbook form! The people have spoken!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good for Micro Chips. "Most Likely to Invent Cold Fusion". Not a reason to be jealous. Pfft! I'm not! [laughs]
Fluttershy: Don't worry, Twilight. We know you're a genius.
Rainbow Dash: Besides, it's just the yearbook.
Equestria Girls: [gasp]
Sunset Shimmer: Just the yearbook?!
Applejack: [groans] Now ya gone and done it!
Sunset Shimmer: The student body has entrusted me with the responsibility of gathering their memories into the pages of this book. In thirty years, we might not remember everything, but we will remember what's in the yearbook.
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm entrusting you not to put us next to "Best Muscles". Every time you close the book, it'll be like we're kissing Bulk Biceps!
Rarity: Oh. Uh, why don't we take our picture at the beach on Saturday? Everyone's bound to look adorable.
Pinkie Pie: Beach day! I'll make my world-famous fun-in-the-sun cupcakes. [whispers, to Fluttershy] The secret ingredient is edible sunscreen! It's SPF fun-hundred!
Fluttershy: Yech.
[door opens]
Trixie Lulamoon: The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to speak to the yearbook editor immediately!
Sunset Shimmer: Unfortunately for me, that's me. What do you want, Trixie?
Trixie Lulamoon: Ha! Just as I suspected! I was not voted "Greatest and Most Powerfullest"! Explain yourself!
Sunset Shimmer: How should I put this? You didn't win "Greatest and Most Powerful" because it wasn't one of the Superlatives.
Trixie Lulamoon: Hmm. Neither was "Biggest Meanie", but that didn't stop you from winning it our freshman year.
Applejack: That was different. The whole school voted for her.
Pinkie Pie: She was soooooooo mean.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, we all know you've earned the right not to be remembered that way.
Sunset Shimmer: Thanks. [to Trixie] We're not having a "Greatest and Powerfullest" Superlative. Sorry.
Trixie Lulamoon: Oh, you're the one who'll be sorry, Sunset Shimmer! When you least expect it, I'll have my revenge, and then I'll disappear! Like this! Behold! The Magician's Exit!
[poof!]
Equestria Girls: [cough]
[door handle jiggling]
Sunset Shimmer: Allow me. We were actually on our way out.
[door unlocks]
Trixie Lulamoon: Hmph!
Equestria Girls: [laughing]
Wallflower Blush: I'll just finish up...
Sunset Shimmer: Ooh. Forgot to turn off the lights.
Wallflower Blush: ...in the dark.
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight, I thought you'd be happy to hear that the girls and I were voted "Best Friends" in the yearbook today. After all, if you hadn't forgiven me, I'd still be the arrogant student I was when I left Equestria. You gave me the second chance I didn't deserve, and I'll never forget it. Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.
[magic noises]
[beachgoers chattering]
[click]
[drone beeping]
Twilight Sparkle: Group picture, practice run #36-A, attempt seven — success! Oh, no! [grunting] Your eyes do not deceive you. I finally invented a selfie-sensing camera. It hovers into position whenever it detects a selfie opportunity. [grunts]
Applejack: I prefer to take selfies myself... ie.
Rarity: Which beach blanket should we use for the photograph?
Rainbow Dash: You mean the white one? Or the white one?
Rarity: [gasps] This is toasted oat and linen lamb's wool. Eggshell, warm frost, pale nimbus, and... Well, that one is white, I suppose.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. That's the one I was talking about.
[wind blowing, waves rushing in]
Spike: Don't worry, Rarity! I got it!
Pinkie Pie: No, I got it! I got it!
Spike: Nuh-uh! I got it! I got it!
Pinkie Pie and Spike: [yell] I don't got it.
[filtered breathing]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Ocean monster! Ocean monster!
Spike: [yells]
Fluttershy: Quincy the sea turtle says the tide's coming in. We should take the picture soon or risk having damp ankles. Oh, he's so thoughtful.
Rarity: Ick.
[drone beeping]
Rarity: Mwah.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh. Twilight, you got the Selfie Sensor working?
[hovering and beeping]
Sunset Shimmer: O... kay. So, who's ready to take a "Best Friends" picture?
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Uh-oh. What did I do?
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Should we do it now, or... did you wanna swim first? How's the water?
Applejack: Sunset Shimmer? Askin' to be in our "Best Friends" picture? Heh. Now I've heard it all.
Sunset Shimmer: Am I missing the joke here?
Rarity: The only joke is whatever this is you're playing on us, acting all nice like you're our friend.
Fluttershy: And it's not funny!
Rainbow Dash: Because you aren't nice.
Applejack: And we ain't friends.
Sunset Shimmer: Wait. What?!
Applejack: You got applesauce in your ears? I said, we ain't fr— Whoa!
Sunset Shimmer: You sure can.
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Sci-Twi: I'm so sorry.
[Sunset Shimmer]
My friends are here to bring me 'round...
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps] It's like I've been... erased!
Sunset Shimmer: This has to be a bad dream. Wake up, Sunset. Wake up!
[poink!]
Sunset Shimmer: Ow!
Pinkie Pie: Nope. You're awake. Ow! [giggles] Me, too! [giggles]
Sunset Shimmer: [to Rainbow Dash] What about you?
[motorbikes zooming]
[screeching]
Sunset Shimmer: No! Rainbow Dash, you saved me in that race!
Rainbow Dash: What are you talking about?
Sunset Shimmer: I can see your memories, and I'm not in them!
Applejack: And exactly how is it you can see our memories, if you don't mind me askin'?
Sunset Shimmer: With this!
Rarity: Oh, pfft! It's obviously a cheap knockoff of ours.
Sunset Shimmer: We got them together. You were there, remember?
Fluttershy: Why is she still talking to us?
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie, what about when I came to your sleepover before the Battle of the Bands?
Pinkie Pie: Ha! The closest you've ever come to a party of mine is freshman year, when you pretended to be Applejack and texted me, "Your party is lamer than a hungry duck in snow boots."
Applejack: Like I'd ever say that.
Pinkie Pie: It really hurt my feelings.
Fluttershy: And it wasn't very nice to the ducks, either.
Sunset Shimmer: That was a long time ago. Twilight, you remember me, right? We've been through so much together. Please...
Twilight Sparkle: I only met you once, when you yelled at me at the Games.
Sunset Shimmer: Doesn't anyone remember that I've changed?!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Maybe not anyone. I'll be right back!
Rarity: Don't hurry back, darling!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Dear Princess Twilight, this is gonna sound crazy, but... are we friends? Am I... nice? Please answer...
[shimmering]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Of course we're friends!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Are you okay? What's going on?
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Kinda hard to explain. Might be easier in person. Well, not "person", so to speak...
[warbling]
[zapping]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: Aah! Oops! [laughs] I was trying to hug you.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: So, what's been happening?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: This is bad, Sunset. It's way beyond anything I've ever heard of. Although...
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: I just had an idea. But you might not like it.
Sunset Shimmer: I'll do anything to get my friends back, Twilight.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: There is one pony who might be able to help, but I don't know if you two want to see each other.
Sunset Shimmer: Who? ...Oh.
[doors open]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Sooo, Princess Celestia... [nervous laugh] You'll never guess who's back! Actually, maybe you can guess, 'cause she's right here. But, um...
[beat]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [whispering, to Sunset] Am I helping?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Princess Celestia, the last time we saw each other, I was your snide little pupil who betrayed and abandoned you.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [whispering] I wouldn't have said it that way. [clears throat] What Sunset means to say is—
Sunset Shimmer: I mean that I come before you a changed pony, humbly asking for forgiveness, guidance, and knowledge.
[tense music]
Sunset Shimmer: Or I can just go, and you never have to see me again.
Princess Celestia: I've missed you, Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset Shimmer: I... I'm so sorry.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [squee]
Princess Celestia: I am not familiar with the exact spell that could have erased your friends' memories. But it sounds like Equestrian magic is at work in your world.
Princess Luna: Hmm. Indeed. The toilings of this nefarious enchantment could portend unimaginable catastrophe if left unchecked.
Sunset Shimmer: [stifles giggle]
[slap!]
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry. I'm just used to hearing you say no student parking in the faculty lot. Heh-heh.
Princess Luna: This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power.
Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle: [giggle]
Princess Celestia: The answers you seek are in the Canterlot Library.
Sunset Shimmer: There's over a million books in here.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: I wish! But don't worry. You're looking at somepony who knows this place like the back of her hoof. Where are you going, Princess Celestia?
Princess Celestia: To the restricted section.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: There's a... a reh... a reh... a reh... [hyperventilating]
Sunset Shimmer: Breathe, Twilight.
[clank!]
[door opening]
[bats squeaking]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [prolonged gasp] Oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh! So many books all unread! Ancient historical artifacts! [gasps] I just... I thought...! I can't...! [wheezes]
Sunset Shimmer: You sure you're up for helping me go through all this stuff?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Don't take this away from me!
Princess Celestia: I should warn you, however. The archives' mechanical catalog has not been... well-maintained.
[cranking]
Sunset Shimmer: [coughing]
[machine falling apart]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Guess we'll have to read everything! C'mon! No way! Can you believe they have Canterlot Cantabiles Volume Thirty-One? You heard me! Thirty-One! Sunset, that's when it gets goooooooood! [gasps] Over here! An original Windigo Weather Warning from the pre-Equestrian era! Oh, my goodness! I can't! I just can't!
Sunset Shimmer and Princess Celestia: [laugh]
Sunset Shimmer: [yawning, tiredly] Did you know Chancellor Puddinghead tried to pass a law mandating Earth ponies drink carrot juice at every meal? I do. Know that. Now.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Awww. Sounds like you got to read all the fun books. [yawns] We should probably take a break from looking...
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Because I found something! You're familiar with The Seven Trials of Clover the Clever?
Sunset Shimmer: Obviously. Why?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Well, first of all, these date back to before the founding of Equestria. Look at this.
Sunset Shimmer: "The Memory Stone". That sounds promising.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: It belonged to an evil sorceress who was practically invincible. With the Memory Stone, she could erase any memory from anypony. Even fragments of memories.
Sunset Shimmer: Fragments like... memories of me being nice?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. Clover the Clever knew the sorceress had to be stopped and the Stone destroyed, so he chased her across land and sea. But every time he got close, the sorceress would erase his memory and escape. But he kept finding her.
Sunset Shimmer: How?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: These scraps of parchment. He secretly wrote everything down so he'd know what had happened and where to go next. Like a trail of bread crumbs.
Sunset Shimmer: Clever! Ohhhh. Clover the— Yeah, got it. What happened on the other side of this portal?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: The last page is missing. Clover must've hid it to keep anypony else from finding the Memory Stone. Sunset, what if the Memory Stone ended up in your world?
Sunset Shimmer: And someone is using it to make everyone hate me again?
Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle: But who?
Pinkie Pie: We’ve been out here a while. Time to reapply!
[squishing]
Twilight Sparkle: I've been thinking... Should we be worried about Sunset Shimmer?
Trixie Lulamoon: Yeah! Worried she comes back! I think it's a shame the way she's treating you, pretending to be your friend. She's obviously up to something. Sunset thinks the whole school exists just to serve her. [snaps, to Snips and Snails] Water, please! [to the Equestria Girls] You know, seeing as how the yearbook president seems to be having a little identity crisis, I believe that means the vice president takes over. And, why... [gasps] that's you, Rarity!
Rarity: If this is your way of asking to be made "The Greatest and Most Powerful", the answer is no. And didn't we have this conversation yesterday? I can't quite remember.
Applejack: Uh...
Fluttershy: Hmm.
Trixie Lulamoon: Maybe we did, maybe we didn't. Memory is such a fickle thing. You never know when you'll forget something important. Like how Great and Powerful I am, which is why I need to be in the yearbook!
Rarity: [groans] I'll think about it.
Trixie Lulamoon: That's all I ask.
Sunset Shimmer: I should be getting back to my world. Maybe I can convince my friends I'm telling the truth, now that I know what we're looking for.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: The Memory Stone. I'll stay here and search the restricted section top to bottom until I find a way to get your friends' memories back.
Sunset Shimmer: If that's even possible.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Oh, it's possible. Even if I have to reorganize the whole library by subject. Or maybe chronologically! Oh! And fix the broken catalog machine... [clears throat] I'll figure it out.
Sunset Shimmer: Thank you. Both of you.
Princess Celestia: This is quite a contrast from the last time we parted ways. But you are not that way anymore. With every choice you make, you prove yourself to possess a kind heart.
Sunset Shimmer: I guess I had a good teacher.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: You were a good student.
Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]
Princess Celestia: [angrily] Are you saying I wasn't a good teacher?
Sunset Shimmer:
Oh, no! I wasn't...!
I mean, what I meant...!
She didn't sa...!
Princess Twilight Sparkle:
She didn't say that!
Princess Celestia: [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle: [join in laughter]
Sunset Shimmer: Princess Celestia has a sense of humor? Looks like I'm not the only one who's changed.
Sunset Shimmer, Princess Celestia, and Princess Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: [sotto voce] It's been a grueling afternoon, but here we are: the final match! Next point wins! A hush falls over the crowd of ten thousand fans.
[drone beeping]
Twilight Sparkle: Go, sports!
Rainbow Dash: I'm not holding back this time!
Fluttershy: That's what I'm afraid of. [squeals]
Pinkie Pie: Bring it on, Rainbow Dash! You and Rarity just bought your team a one-way ticket on the express train to You're Going Down!
Rainbow Dash: Ooh. Nice game face, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Thanks! I've been practicing all day. Isn't that right, little baby camera?! You're in my house now!
[drone beeping]
Spike: [growls]
Rarity: [laughs] Somebody's jealous.
Spike: Please! Call me when the flying can opener learns how to fetch.
[hovering and beeping]
Spike: You're the worst.
[hovering and beeping]
Spike: [chowing down]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Fluttershy: [squeals]
Pinkie Pie: [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
Sunset Shimmer: [panting] Great news, guys! I figured it out. Someone's erased your memory with Equestrian magic! You don't remember, but we're still friends!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: This is the Memory Stone. Do you recognize it?
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh. Right. Guess not. But look. See? This is proof! We are friends!
Rest of the Equestria Girls: Ehh...
Trixie Lulamoon: Oh, please. This is the same girl who made flawless fake photos of your friend trashing the gym.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, wait a minute! Is this supposed to be me making such a ridiculous face? Ha! I'd never fake a face like that! Preposterous! Fake, I say!
Trixie Lulamoon: [cackles] My work here is done. Trixie out!
[poof!]
Trixie Lulamoon: And don't forget, Rarity! You promised to put me in the yearbook!
Sunset Shimmer: Wait! You did what? [grunts]
[crunch]
[drone beeps, fizzles]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Sunset Shimmer: It was an accident! I can help fix it!
Twilight Sparkle: I think you've helped enough.
[locker door closes]
[students whispering and gossiping]
[bump]
Sunset Shimmer: I don't want your lunch money! I'm not mean! Got it?! I'm not mean!
[locker door slams]
Trixie Lulamoon: [yelps]
Sunset Shimmer: So... here we are.
Trixie Lulamoon: Here we do are.
[intense showdown music]
Trixie Lulamoon: You really want to do this here in the hallway in front of everyone?
Sunset Shimmer: Up to you.
Trixie Lulamoon: Behold! Canterlot High School's Greatest and Powerfullest Student! If a seven-scale mockup doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.
Sunset Shimmer: Where's the Memory Stone? You turned my friends against me just because I wouldn't put you in the yearbook as the Greatest and Powerfullest?! "Powerfullest" isn't even a word!
Trixie Lulamoon: What are you talking about?
Sunset Shimmer: It's not a word!
Trixie Lulamoon: No. What Memory Stone?
Sunset Shimmer: The one you used to erase everyone's memory, you manipulative... blowhard!
Trixie Lulamoon: A stone that could make everyone forget all the bad tricks I've done...? Which is no tricks. Your puny rock pales in comparison to the Great and Powerful Trixie!
Sunset Shimmer: I don't believe it. You have no idea what I'm talking about.
Trixie Lulamoon: I... don't. Sorry.
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Trixie Lulamoon: Did somebody really erase everyone's memories of you?
Sunset Shimmer: Mm-hmm.
Trixie Lulamoon: And even though we all know you're the Biggest Meanie, you're saying you're not mean anymore?
Sunset Shimmer: It's complicated.
Trixie Lulamoon: So you have this idea of who you're supposed to be, but no one at school sees you that way. Is that it? Trust me. I get it.
Sunset Shimmer: Ha. I can't believe the only person who believes me is the one I called a manipulative blowhard. Sorry.
Trixie Lulamoon: I took it as a compliment. Let me help you find the Stone.
Sunset Shimmer: What's in it for you?
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: No way. Absolutely not!
Trixie Lulamoon: Well, if you'd rather go on being the Biggest Meanie, that's fine by me.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: I've looked everywhere! Why can't I find the missing pages? I've always been good to you, library!
[thud]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] This is it! The last piece was in a secret compartment! Clover the Clever buried the Stone! This rock formation must be somewhere in the other world. But it doesn't say how to get your memories back. [gasps, reading] "Perhaps if I had destroyed the Stone right away, some of my memories could have returned. But when the sun sets by the third day after a memory has been taken, it is erased forever."
Princess Celestia: You must warn Sunset Shimmer at once.
Sunset Shimmer: So, where should we start... partner?
Trixie Lulamoon: How about with what I call you? I'm thinking the Great and Powerful Trixie's... Pretty Decent Assistant-Detective-Helper Person.
[suspenseful music]
[students conversing]
Equestria Girls: [laughing and talking]
Trixie Lulamoon: A cafeteria full of suspects, two detectives, and only one Memory Stone. Seems impossible, but so does pulling a rabbit out of a hat, and I do that all the time. Let's talk motive. Who here hates you enough to erase everyone's good memories of you?
Sunset Shimmer: If you go back far enough... everyone. [sighs]
Trixie Lulamoon: [writing] "Known enemies: all."
[door opening]
Nurse Redheart: G-G-Good afternoon, ladies. Y-You feeling okay?
Trixie Lulamoon: That depends on how well you answer my questions. Has anyone come in complaining of memory problems in the last few weeks?
Nurse Redheart: Not that I can recall...
Trixie Lulamoon: You can't recall? [gasps, to Sunset] We're too late!
[keys clacking]
Micro Chips: Aah! Will you accept a half-chewed carrot stick?
Sunset Shimmer: What? Ew! I told you I don't want your lunch money, and I definitely don't want your lunch.
Trixie Lulamoon: [munching] Speak for yourself. Mmm, thanks. Word around school is you know a lot about erasing memory.
Micro Chips: I erased a ton of memory just this morning.
Sunset Shimmer: You did?!
Micro Chips: Four terabytes of quantel-accelerflex memory to be precise.
[beat]
Micro Chips: How come no one's ever impressed by that?
Sunset Shimmer: Is there anything you can tell us about it? Anything at all?
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I can't tell much from a drawing.
Sunset Shimmer: Okay.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Only that it's felsic-intrusive igneous, granular in texture, most likely arranged in an equigranular matrix, with scattered biotite mica and amphibole, at least sixty-five percent alkali feldspar by volume, with a melting point of twelve-fifty centigrade, plus or minus ten degrees. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
Trixie Lulamoon: Sure, it seems like we've only come up with dead ends. But I mean, it could be worse?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] It's worse.
Twilight Sparkle: Good as new! Best Friends yearbook group picture, take two, #36A, attempt eight!
Equestria Girls: Best friends!
Trixie Lulamoon: Oh, stop looking at that. You're just going to wind yourself up. You can't think if you're wound up. Oh, think, Trixie!
Sunset Shimmer: I wanted to come in here and see who we're missing. [sighs] But we've talked to everyone, A to Z.
Trixie Lulamoon: Wait. "Not pictured: Wallflower Blush". Who's Wallflower?
Wallflower Blush: I'm right here, you know.
Trixie Lulamoon: Uh, who are you?
Wallflower Blush: Wallfower. I've known you since third grade.
Trixie Lulamoon: Ahh! I remember third grade. Not you specifically, but what a grade it was. The Great and Powerful Trrrrixie debuted her disappearing frog trick. You know, a lot of people don't realize how much work goes into raising tadpoles. You really have to coddle them... [trails off]
[buzzes]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: [voiceover] Sunset, we think the Memory Stone was buried under this rock formation. And if you don't destroy the Memory Stone by the time the sun sets today, all those memories will be erased forever.
Sunset Shimmer: How am I supposed to find a rock formation that looks... like... that rock formation?! That'll work.
[click]
Sunset Shimmer: Can I ask a silly question, Wallflower? Where did you take that lovely photograph?
Wallflower Blush: Oh. That's my garden. Well, the school's garden, technically. I'm the president of the Gardening Club. I founded it, too. I'm also the only member. And the only one who's ever been to the garden. Or seen it. Or even asked about it.
Trixie Lulamoon: You're not really into other people, huh?
Wallflower Blush: I was maybe going to add this picture somewhere in the yearbook. What do you think?
Trixie Lulamoon: Sorry. Sunset doesn't let anyone put things in her yearbook. No matter how much they deserve them.
Sunset Shimmer: No! You should do that, Wallflower. Uh, so don't let us keep you from working on it.
Trixie Lulamoon: What?! The Great and Powerful Trixie is... annoyed and insulted!
[keyboard clacking]
Wallflower Blush: What are you...?
[students conversing]
[bushes rustling]
[music]
Applejack: That was different. The whole school voted for her.
Pinkie Pie: She was soooooooo mean.
Twilight Sparkle: Of course, we all know you've earned the right not to be remembered that way.
Wallflower Blush: [sighs] Why should you notice me? After all, you're Sunset Shimmer. Everybody loves you now. [sighs] Why can't they see you haven't changed?
[magic noises]
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm...
Pinkie Pie: [snores]
Applejack: [sighs]
Opalescence: [yowls]
[magic noises]
Sunset Shimmer: You erased everyone's memories?
Wallflower Blush: Uh... Yes.
Trixie Lulamoon: Wait. Who are you again?
[Wallflower Blush]
You don't see me fitting in
I'm sitting here alone
Right beside my shadow
Always on my own
If I could share my wildest dreams
Maybe they would see
I'm more than just a wallflower
There's so much more to me
I'm invisible, invisible
A droplet in the mist
Invisible, invisible
It's like I don't exist
Right beneath my picture
This is what you'll read
A laundry list of nothings
Not likely to succeed
A yearbook with blank pages
That no one wants to sign
A memory forgotten
Until the end of time
Hey! What are you doing?!
Sunset Shimmer and Wallflower Blush: [grunting]
Sunset Shimmer: What did I do to you?! Honestly, I don't even know you!
Wallflower Blush: Exactly! You had everyone fooled, but now they know you're still... the Biggest Meanie!
Sunset Shimmer: You're about to see how mean I can get!
Trixie Lulamoon: Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Let's not antagonize the person with the all-powerful mystery rock!
Wallflower Blush: I don't like confrontation. Let's just... forget this ever happened!
Sunset Shimmer: Don't erase—!
[whoosh]
Trixie Lulamoon: Huh? What was I saying? I'm sure it was something brilliant. Also, [gasps] how is it already three o'clock?
[door handle jiggles]
Trixie Lulamoon: Why won't this door open? And what are we even doing in here?
Sunset Shimmer: I... don't remember.
[door shaking and banging]
Sunset Shimmer: Is anybody out there? Somebody open the door! If we don't get outta here and figure out who has the Stone, in a few hours, it'll be too late to restore everyone's memories. I'll lose my friends forever.
Trixie Lulamoon: How are we supposed to catch someone who can erase our memory every time we get close to catching them?
[paper uncrumples]
Sunset Shimmer: By being clever!
Trixie Lulamoon: Wha?
Sunset Shimmer: I wrote myself a note. "Check the video." Yes! It's been recording this whole time!
Trixie Lulamoon: Twilight's camera? What are you talking about?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't remember doing it, but I must have realized our memories would get erased, so I pressed record!
[video rewinding]
Wallflower Blush: [on video] That's my garden.
Trixie Lulamoon: Who's that?
Sunset Shimmer: Wallflower Blush.
Trixie Lulamoon: Name's not ringing a bell.
[Wallflower Blush]
[on video] You don't see me fitting in...
Trixie Lulamoon: Ugh.
[song fast-forwarding]
Trixie Lulamoon: Long song, huh?
Sunset Shimmer: [on video] What did I do to you?! Honestly, I don't even know you!
Wallflower Blush: [on video] Exactly! You had everyone fooled, but now they know you're still the Biggest Meanie!
Sunset Shimmer: [on video] You're about to see how mean I can get!
[beep]
Trixie Lulamoon: She's kinda right about you.
Sunset Shimmer: [sarcastically] Yeah, thanks.
Trixie Lulamoon: Actually, the Wise and Moralizing Trixie was making a point. You said you didn't do anything.
Sunset Shimmer: I didn't! I wasn't mean to her at all!
Trixie Lulamoon: But maybe it's not good enough to not be mean to someone. Maybe you have to be nice.
[tender music]
Sunset Shimmer: You're right. Not that it matters. I'm still trapped in here. [sighs] Unless you can magic us out of here.
Trixie Lulamoon: Ooh, what's the point in trying? You've seen enough of my tricks to know what'll happen.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] At least when the sun goes down and everyone hates me forever, I'll still have one friend in the morning.
Trixie Lulamoon: Huh?
Sunset Shimmer: And I mean, she is the Greatest and Powerfullest Canterlot High School has to offer, so I guess I can't complain.
Trixie Lulamoon: You poor fool! You actually believed me when I was pretending to give up? Mere stage banter! The Great and Powerful Trixie never gives up on herself or her friends. I mean, her Pretty Decent Assistant-Detective-Helper People. Behold! The Magician's Exit!
[poof!]
Trixie Lulamoon: Yes! It worked! I finally did it!
[knocking]
Sunset Shimmer: Still in here!
Trixie Lulamoon: Ummm... [nervous laugh] Um, all part of the trick! Have you out in a jiffy!
[poof!]
[poof!]
[poof!]
Trixie Lulamoon: You know what? Just leave me in here! Just go!
Sunset Shimmer: I owe you one, Trixie! I will never forget this!
Trixie Lulamoon: Never say never.
Sunset Shimmer: Wallflower? Wallflower, stop!
Wallflower Blush: You remember my name?
Sunset Shimmer: I remember everything! The Memory Stone, how I acted, all of it!
Wallflower Blush: What?! How?! I erased the whole afternoon!
Sunset Shimmer: Listen. I used to be just like you. Sure, I was popular, but I was lonely.
Wallflower Blush: You're nothing like me, and I'm not lonely, because I have... plants! That sounded less lonely in my head.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sorry, Wallflower.
Wallflower Blush: No, you're not. You're just trying to look good in front of your friends! And it's working! Gah! How am I supposed to get back at you if nothing I do matters?! I hate you!
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps]
Wallflower Blush: I wanted to teach you a lesson by erasing your friends' good memories of you. But obviously that didn't work. But what if I erased all their memories of high school?
Sunset Shimmer: You can't! You'd be stealing their memories of each other!
Wallflower Blush: They'll think of each other the way you think of me! Which is not at all!
[zap!]
Sunset Shimmer: Nooo!
Equestria Girls: [gasp]
Sunset Shimmer: I've ruined their friendship once before. I'd rather give up my own memories than let it happen again! [grunts] Fluttershy! No! Applejack! [grunts] Rarity! Aah! Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie! Twilight! Don't forget me!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps] This isn't Canterlot. Where am I? Princess Celestia? What's happened to me? Somepony, help me! Who are you?
Twilight Sparkle: We're your friends.
Applejack: We may not remember you...
Pinkie Pie: But after seeing what you did...
Rarity: ...the sacrifice you made for us...
Fluttershy: ...we'd be proud to call you...
Rest of the Equestria Girls: ...our friend!
Wallflower Blush: [gasps]
[heroic music]
Twilight Sparkle: Wallflower! You have magic you do not understand! But it is nothing compared to the Magic of—!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, yeah, we get it. Light her up, ladies!
[magic noises continue]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight... Sparkle?
Twilight Sparkle: Sunset Shimmer!
Equestria Girls: [cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: We're so sorry.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm just glad to have you all back.
Wallflower Blush: I'm so ashamed. When I first found the Memory Stone, I only erased little things – awkward hellos, saying the wrong thing, literally any public speaking...
Twilight Sparkle: I've had plenty of awkward moments I wish I could erase, too.
Wallflower Blush: But it's no excuse. I was so used to erasing memories that I got completely carried away. I'm sorry for everything.
Sunset Shimmer: It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I may have stopped being mean, but a Great and Powerful friend helped me realize I still wasn't very nice to you. Everyone matters, Wallflower. No matter how insignificant or invisible they feel.
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight, you can add a new ending to the archives. The Memory Stone is no more.
Vice Principal Luna: No student parking in the faculty lot.
[door opens]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Thank you for your help. Give my best to Princess Luna and, of course, thank my second-best teacher Princess Celestia. Make sure she knows you're kidding when you say that, though. I'm happy to say everything is back how it used to be.
Trixie Lulamoon: I demand to speak to the yearbook president! How did this get in here?
Sunset Shimmer: A yearbook president never reveals her secrets!
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Well, not exactly how it used to be.
Sunset Shimmer: I've got a yearbook delivery for Best Gardener!
Equestria Girls: [chattering]
[drone beeping]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Oh, come on! Seriously?!
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rollercoaster of Friendship


[Angelic]
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
You are my Equestria Girls
You turn the light switch on
It brightens up my day like the sun
When my friends come a-runnin'
You were right all along
That together we're always better
We could turn a sketch into a masterpiece
When you're here, I feel like I'm complete
You are my Equestria Girls!
Vignette Valencia: Experience the world like you've never seen it before, at the one, the only, Equestria Land! Stop! Cut! Cut! Why is everyone dressed like they're not dressed?!
Designer: [Russian accent] Because you keep changing your mind about the costumes, Vignette Valencia.
Vignette Valencia: Do you know what it means to be in charge of public relations for this park? It's my job to make sure the world knows how amazing Equestria Land is gonna be. And in two weeks, when there's fifty thousand people here for opening day, the last thing they'll see before they leave at night will be this light parade. And, by extension, your costumes, which apparently do not exist as of this moment! B.Y.B.B. Be yourself, but better. Do you even have a philosophy?
Designer: G.W.I.Q. Guess vhat. I qvit.
Vignette Valencia: [sighs, inhales] I need a stress salad! Where am I gonna find a new costume designer for the light parade with only two weeks left? [to performer] I'm not promoting you. [sighs] If only I could put a filter on real life to make everything the way I want it.
[magic swirl]
Vignette Valencia: Only way to feel better is getting ten thousand likes with the perfect salad pic.
[digital magic noises]
Vignette Valencia: Hey, did somebody install a new app on my phone?
[electronic buzzing]
Vignette Valencia: Oh. 'Cause I like it!
[patrons conversing]
Rarity: Anything?
Applejack: Nothin'. You?
Rarity: Nuh-uh.
Pinkie Pie: Somebody has unspilled beans at this table, and it's not me, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, or Sunset Shimmer!
Applejack: [deep breath] Rarity and I applied for summer jobs at the new theme park.
Pinkie Pie: Equestria Land? Wait... Will you get to go there for free?!
Applejack: Actually, they pay us to go there.
Pinkie Pie: [excited squealing]
Applejack: We applied to work side-by-side as caramel apple girls.
Rarity: Yes. It's not that I'm nervous, but... Applejack, you're perfect for the job. And, well, my résumé is less apple-centric.
Applejack: [chuckles] We'll be together. I got a good feelin'.
Rarity: [huffs] No missed calls while we were talking about caramel apples. Shall we practice answering our phones and sounding calm?
[phone vibrates and alerts]
Rarity and Applejack: [scream]
Sunset Shimmer: That was about as calm as Pinkie Pie on Cake Day.
Pinkie Pie: Was it today? Did I miss it?! [sips]
Rarity: One new e-mail!
Applejack: It's from the park!
Rarity and Applejack: You open yours first! No, you open yours first! [laugh]
Applejack: Okay, okay. Same time. One, two...
Rarity: Too late! I opened mine! [screams] Oh. They said I'm overqualified for caramel apple girl. [gasps] They want me to be lead parade costume designer!
Equestria Girls: [excited chatter]
Twilight Sparkle: You haven't even started, and you already got promoted!
Rainbow Dash: That's gotta be a record.
Applejack: I didn't get the job. But I'm really happy for you, Rarity.
Rarity: Oh, pffft. There must be a mix-up, darling.
Pinkie Pie: Obviously, the internet mailman gave you the wrong letter. I know that's not how the internet works, but I'm trying to cheer you up.
Twilight Sparkle: Technically, Rarity didn't get the job, either, since she got a different job. So they're probably about to send another e-mail with your promotion.
[phone vibrates and alerts]
Applejack: [gasps, groans] Just a sale at Stinky Bottom's Discount Hat Emporium.
Rainbow Dash: Forty percent off! Oh, sorry. Not helping.
Rarity: Well, I'm not going to accept it without you, obviously. Pfft.
Applejack: What?! You cannot let this opportunity pass you by, Rarity. Think of all those vision boards, the late-night sewin'. This has been your dream since... since kindy-garten.
Rarity: Mmm... Preschool, actually. But that's not the point. My mind is made up. We planned to spend the summer together, and... that's what we're going to do. Riiiiiiiight? [blink, blink]
Applejack: You're takin' the job, and that's final.
Rarity: Okay, if you insist! [squeals] I'm gonna be a costume designer!
Equestria Girls: [excited chatter]
Applejack: Heh-heh. All right. I probably shouldn'ta quit my old job this mornin', huh?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm sure they haven't replaced you already.
[splat!]
Sunset Shimmer: Eh.
Vignette Valencia: My name is Vignette Valencia, and to answer your first question, yes, I'm that "Vignette", but no, I do not think I'm better than you just because I have three million followers on Snapgab.
Rarity: [huffs] You're up to three million now? I mean, yes, uh, yes, I-I am familiar with your online repertoire.
Vignette Valencia: I have a good feeling about you, Rare. Oh, you have to let me call you "Rare". It's the perfect name for lead parade costume designer. Not a... um, caramel apple girl. I don't even know why you applied for a job like that. Not with a Snapgab feed like yours.
Rarity: Oh.
Vignette Valencia: Obviously, I looked you up. Great pictures, by the way. That gingham and linen sundress caught my eye, and your follower count is [faux French pronunciation] im-press-ive. For someone just starting out, of course. But I can already tell you've got magique inside.
Rarity: Oof. Magi— You can?
Vignette Valencia: The light parade is the most important event in the park. Over a hundred cast members, and you are gonna make them look perfect.
Rarity: [sighs]
Vignette Valencia: Oh. And before I forget, don't put anything on that table. Especially your phone. No reason. Just a super-important rule I made up, 'kay?
[squishing]
Applejack: [grunting]
[phone rings]
Applejack: Rarity!
Rarity: Applejack! Darling! How's work on the farm?
Applejack: [insincere] Fantastic! [grunting] I could not be happier... makin' foot-stompin' applesauce the old-fashioned way with my family.
Granny Smith: Less chatter, more splatter!
Rarity: Oh, good. I'm so happy for you.
Applejack: And I'm happy for you and your new job, too.
Rarity: Oh, yes, well... [nervous laughter] It's certainly a big job.
Applejack: I'm sure you won't slip up. Whoa!
Rarity: Well, I-I was calling, because, you see, well, it's not that I'm... [nervous sounds] nervous or anything silly like that, but I-I-I was wondering if... if you and the girls wanted to come on opening night to see the parade. V.I.P. passes! You can cut the lines!
Applejack: You bet your britches, missy! I wouldn't miss your big night for the world! Whoa!
[splash!]
Applejack: Ugh...
Rarity: Applejack? Darling? Hello?
[patrons yelling and conversing]
[thunder crashes]
[deep evil laughter]
Trixie Lulamoon, Sweetie Drops, and Lyra Heartstrings: [scream]
Pinkie Pie: Equestria Land opening day! What should we do first? Appleloosa Wild West Stunt Show? Nightmare Moon's Haunted Castle? Sugarcube Everything?!
Applejack: Now, hang on. I got the sense Rarity's overwhelmed, which is understandable. I mean, she's all alone here without any of her friends. Which is why I wouldn'ta taken the job, but that's just me. Uh, point is, we're here to support Rarity.
[girls yelling gleefully]
Applejack: What? Uh, which character is that?
Pinkie Pie: Ah, it's not a character, silly! That's Vignette Valencia! She's famous on Snapgab, which you'd know if you actually logged in once in a while. You're missing my "One Cupcake Every Day" series.
Fluttershy: She posts a lot of pictures of her Welsh corgi named Yas Queen.
Rainbow Dash: And she's friends with, like, every awesome athlete in the world!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Don't look at me. I only follow bots that post interesting science facts.
Applejack: These are her pictures? "Chillin sandy style"? "U no how I do"? "I came I saw I vintaged"? Okay, somebody tell me why this picture has twenty thousand likes.
Vignette Valencia: [on phone] #Bangs.
Applejack: Uh, I don't know. Spendin' all that time just to look good in a picture ain't my idea of fun.
Rarity: There you are!
Applejack: Here comes the lead parade costume designer!
Rarity: Guilty as charged! [giggles]
Applejack: So? You've been here solo without your best friends all this time. How can we help?
Rarity: Hold that thought. Vignette! Over here!
Applejack: You know Vignette Valencia?
Rarity: Pfft. Do I know her?
Rarity and Vignette Valencia: Mwah! Mwah!
Rarity: Why, she's my best friend at the park!
Applejack: [gasps]
Vignette Valencia: Selfie! Oh, but can we use your phone? Mine's been acting super-weird lately. Thanks. You're the best!
[phone camera snaps]
Applejack: [growls]
Rarity: Everyone, this is Vignette Valencia. She runs P.R. for the park, and she's my boss.
Vignette Valencia: I told you not to use the "B" word. I'm your... "friend"... who gets to boss you around!
Rarity: [nervous laugh]
All except Applejack: [nervous laughter]
Pinkie Pie: I don't get it.
Rarity: Heh. So this is Sunset Shimmer, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy.
Applejack: [clears throat irritably]
Rarity: Oh! Ha. And Applejack. Sorry, you were standing a— I-I didn't see you.
Vignette Valencia: Hmmm.
Rarity: They're my best friends. So... I thought you'd like to meet them.
Vignette Valencia: [uninterested] Mm-hmm.
Rarity: Uhhhh, fun fact – uh, we perform together in a band called the Rainbooms.
Vignette Valencia: Rainbooms? Why is that familiar? A hundred thousand followers? Focused consumer-centric demographic, too? Does your curated content consistently aggregate across multiple platforms?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: We sing songs together!
Vignette Valencia: [gasps] I am going to turn you into the centerpiece of tonight's light parade!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, the Rainbooms?
Vignette Valencia: Shhh... Are you ready? B.Y.B.B. Be yourself, but better! That's been my power phrase since I started my first company. A middle school girl selling artisanal handmade mascara. "But isn't that just melted crayons?" Hey, neighsayers gonna neigh. But I say B.Y.B.B.
Fluttershy: Um, how many people will be watching us?
Vignette Valencia: All of them! What do you say?
Sunset Shimmer: Well, if it's gonna help out Rarity...
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy: [agree]
Applejack: Hmph.
Vignette Valencia: Like, like, like, like, like, like. Upload and post it, ladies. This'll trend fer sure! I'll @ you later with the exact deets. B.Y.B.B, Rare. V, out.
Rarity: I know. She's amazing, right?
Applejack: She sure is... somethin'.
Twilight Sparkle: Logistical question: How're we supposed to get our instruments?
Rarity: Pfft, kuh! Vignette will handle everything.
Applejack: I got a question, too. When you said she's your "best friend at the park", did you mean "best friend, comma, at the park"?
Rarity: Did I say that? [gasps] Listen, tonight's a huge opportunity. And not just for me now, but for all of us!
Rainbow Dash: Let's go see the park!
[zoom!]
Rarity: [to Applejack] Honestly, I don't know why you're giving me your frowny eyebrows.
Applejack: [sighs] It's nothin'.
Rarity: Uhhh, well, uh... enjoy the park. I'm gonna be super-busy preparing for tonight. So let's meet in the staging area for sound check and run-throughs. I have three minutes' break at four o'clock, and I can give you two of them. B.Y.B.B.! [laughs] Rare, out!
Applejack: [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: Well, looks like Rarity doesn't need us as much as you thought. So...
Fluttershy: Should we practice for the parade? It's a little... [gasps] ...daunting, isn't it?
Rainbow Dash: We know every song by heart. Wouldn't you rather go have some fun?
Equestria Girls except Applejack: [cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Great idea!
[patrons screaming]
Fluttershy: [shudders]
Rainbow Dash: [yelling] Pretty great, right?!
Fluttershy: [shudders, yelling] What?!
Rainbow Dash: [yelling] Can you hear me over all the screaming?!
Fluttershy: [yelling] I can't hear you over all the screaming! [normally] Oh. I wish I'd gone with Sunset and Twilight. Or Pinkie Pie. Or anyone else in the entire park.
Rainbow Dash: Look at it this way. It's the perfect opportunity to conquer your fear.
Fluttershy: Can't I conquer something a little smaller first?
Rainbow Dash: Hey, good idea! A warm-up before the big game! Ooh! What did you have in mind? Dragon Lands Drag Racing? Ooh, the Appleloosa Runaway Train! Ooh, Neighagara Falls Barrel Flume?!
Fluttershy: Mm-mm.
Fluttershy: [screaming, hyperventilating] Oh, these kids are so brave.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Rarity: Applejack, this parade is a living, breathing dance of light and sound! [to assistants] Love it, lock it, stitch it. Beautiful, perfect, I just threw up, love it. Now hurry up! I need these done yesterday!
Applejack: You were born for this, Rarity. Anythin' I can do to help?
Rarity: Play a great show tonight? [to mascot] Excuse me! I know I am not seeing a lapped zipper on that faux fur! A lapped zipper is simply a stuck zipper waiting to happen! Ugh! [to Applejack] This is what I'm up against.
Applejack: So, uh... wanna take a break and go get a caramel apple?
Rarity: I'd love to, darling, but I am a tad super-insanely busy. Heh.
Applejack: Of course. I-I just thought... Uh, never mind. You're right. I wouldn't wanna rain on your parade.
Rarity: Rain?! I didn't plan for rain! [to assistant] Get me one hundred ponchos, stat!
[rollercoaster chugging]
Rainbow Dash: I'm proud of you. You know that? You're facing your fears head-on. Just like I always did as a kid. I mean, look, a four-hundred-foot vertical drop right into these loop-de-loops and a corkscrew? You're probably super-nervous about that, I bet. Heh. And that next part where it goes backwards? Uh, how are you feeling, Fluttershy?
[seagull squawking]
Rainbow Dash: Is it even safe to be this high up? You're probably thinking, "Stop the ride! I want to get off!" That's what you want, right? Right now? You're about to yell it? Stop the ride! Seriously! Please, somebody stop the ride! STOP THE RIIIIIIIDE!
[rollercoaster stops]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[wobbling sounds]
Fluttershy: That was actually kind of... fun. [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Totally! That's why I didn't want to get off! I was just saying what you would've said. [nervous laugh] That's all.
Fluttershy: You were very brave.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. You, too... by the way.
[thud!]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[phone rings and buzzes]
Fluttershy: Hmmm...
Applejack: Uh... Hmmm...
[map crumples]
Micro Chips: Apples! Caramel apples over here! We've got red and green and everything in between!
Applejack: Micro Chips?
Micro Chips: Caramel apple?
Applejack: Uh, Applejack. You're who they hired to be the caramel apple... girl?
Micro Chips: Vignette said she wanted cool nerd chic. I'd say she found it. Wouldn't you?
[squish]
Micro Chips: [grunting]
[clattering and splatting]
Micro Chips: [clears throat] Do you by any chance have a knife or samurai sword or several tiny but very sharp nail clippers?
Vignette Valencia: [talking indistinctly]
Vignette Valencia: I know what you're thinking. "But, Vignette, how can I ever thank you for coming up with such a brilliant idea for the parade?"
Fluttershy: I don't understand. You want me to pretend I'm someone else tonight?
Vignette Valencia: Everyone in the band has a new role. It's part of my BOLD, NEW VISION! All caps, Helvetica, sixty-five. "Fluttershy: Bad Girl". Spiked hair, ripped tights. I've already commissioned an A-list graffiti/sneaker artist to tag up a custom guitar. How do you feel about skulls? B.Y.B.B.
Fluttershy: Uh, maybe I, um... shouldn't do it. At all.
[beat]
Vignette Valencia: You're right. If collab-ing isn't your thing, that's your life decision to make. But I just thought of a way for us both to get exactly what we want.
Fluttershy: You did?
Vignette Valencia: Of course! Getting what I want is what I do best, sweetie. Now say "cheese!"
[electronic zapping]
Vignette Valencia: Sorry, Fluttershy. You'll thank me later.
Fluttershy: [echoing] Um, excuse me? Vignette? Where am I?
[bowl clattering]
Fluttershy: Ooh! And do you mind if I eat this salad? I'm feeling stressed.
Flim: Step right up! Don't be shy!
Flam: You like prizes? We got prizes!
Flim: Toss this ring onto any one of these bottles! Easiest game in the park!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! This game does look easy!
Flim: Would ya lookee here? Somebody who knows a thing or two about a thing or two!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Twilight, they're just giving ya the old bump-and-tingle to lure you in. These games are rigged.
Flim: Slanderous!
Flam: Libelous!
Twilight Sparkle: Do you know what's not rigged? The laws of physics. Assuming no air resistance and a vertical displacement of zero, horizontal displacement equals initial projectile velocity squared times the sine of twice the launch angle divided by the acceleration due to gravity.
[music]
[fwip!]
Flim: Oh, the suspense!
Flam: The drama!
Flim: I can't watch!
Flam: Hold me!
Flim and Flam: [fake shudder]
[boing!]
Twilight Sparkle: Errgh!
Sunset Shimmer: You were pretty close, though. Maybe we should try one more time?
[assistants chattering, handiwork noises]
Rarity: Finished! [sighs] Let there be light!
[buzzing]
Rarity: [sighs] Maybe tonight won't be a disaster after all.
[crackling, short circuits]
Rarity: [eye twitches] Will you, uh, excuse me for a moment? [muffled] Of all the outlandish circumstances in the universe, why are all the wretched things happening to me?!
Applejack: Huh? Hey, Rarity. How's—?
Rarity: I wasn't having a meltdown! Who said I was having a meltdown?! I am not having a meltdown!
Applejack: Whoa. Uh, have you seen Fluttershy? See, she went wanderin' off with Vignette and then just disappeared.
Rarity: Are you honestly asking me this right now?
Applejack: Oh, it's not that I don't trust Vignette, if that's what you're thinkin'.
Rarity: We're in a giant fun park with fifty thousand people. 'Course you can't find her. [gasps] Fifty thousand people! [gasps] All looking at my costumes!
Applejack: Are you seriously not concerned about Fluttershy?
Rarity: That's a hundred thousand individual eyeballs, Applejack.
Applejack: Well, if you ain't gonna worry about her, I will!
[beat]
Rarity: Somebody get me a bigger pile of clothes to scream into!
[boing]
Sunset Shimmer: Come on!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Flim and Flam: [idle noises]
Sunset Shimmer: All right! What's next? What are we doing? How are we going to win this?!
Twilight Sparkle: Guess who just mapped out a perfect projectile trajectory taking into account propulsion, gravity, and aerodynamic drag! This gal! Betcha thought I forgot about friction, air drag, and veering initial velocities. Well, guess what. I didn't!
Sunset Shimmer: What she said!
Flim: You know what they say...
Flam: Hundredth time's the charm.
[tense music]
Applejack: Howdy, y'all!
[ding!]
[squeak!]
[splat!]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: Applejack!
Applejack: Oh. Sorry. Have you seen Fluttershy? Nobody's seen her all afternoon. Her phone's goin' straight to voicemail. I keep thinkin' somethin' real bad mighta happened.
Sunset Shimmer: Lighten up, Applejack. There's not always a villain with Equestrian magic out to get us.
Twilight Sparkle: On a side note, do you have tickets we could borrow? Kinda used 'em all.
Flim and Flam: [innocent whistling]
Sunset Shimmer: I don't like to lose.
[dramatic music]
Rainbow Dash: Applejack! Hey! I was just about to ride this thing for, like, the tenth time already!
Little Girl: [coughs]
Rainbow Dash: Shhh! Nothin' outta you!
Applejack: Uh, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, she was with me, super scared of this ride, but I think she went off with Vignette.
Applejack: Okay. Thanks.
Rainbow Dash: If you see her, tell her she still owes me a rollercoaster ride! [nervous whimper]
Pinkie Pie: [whistles] No frowning allowed! Hmmm... As "Fun Inspector", I'm a little concerned about what I'm seeing here.
Applejack: Pinkie Pie? Don't tell me you're workin' for the park now, too.
Pinkie Pie: [laughing] No, silly! Fun Inspectors are freelance! And don't get paid! And totally made up by me earlier today when I saw a little girl crying because she dropped her ice cream, and I said to myself, "Pinkie Pie, this place isn't as fun as it could be!" Do you like the uniform? I made it out of things I found in the trash, but you can't even tell!
Applejack: Geh, uhhh... so, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?
Pinkie Pie: Nope. But I have seen my Deputy Fun Inspector! Ta-da! Now you have all access to the entire park, Deputy Fun Inspector! [slurps]
[rings tossing]
Flim: [unenthusiastically] Ugh. Wow.
Flam: [unenthusiastically] So close.
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle: [groan]
Sunset Shimmer: I can't feel my fingers anymore.
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: It all looks the same! Is this real life? How long have we been here?
Flim: Um, hey, listen, lady.
Flam: Uh, how about you just take a parakeet and go home?
Sunset Shimmer: It's not about the parakeet!
Little Boy: Awwww.
Twilight Sparkle: You said it yourself. It's rigged. How about we get some ice cream?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] You're right. Why didn't I listen to myself? We never even had a chance.
[slow motion sounds]
Flim: [surprised sound] Well, would ya look at that?!
Flam: A winner every time!
Applejack: ...Or maybe I want her to be my prime suspect because she's Rarity's new best friend at the park. Am I goin' crazy over a whole lot o' nothin'?
Security Guard: What's that badge ya got there?!
Applejack: I, uh... [stammers] Y-Y-You see, it-it's just—
Security Guard: It's a crime to fake security badges, you know. I'm a fake cop, but I can send ya to real jail!
Applejack: Uh, if you'll just let me explain. I'm lookin' for my friend, and—
Security Guard: Shhh! Hands on your head! No sudden moves! Got that? Huh! Why didn't ya tell me you were a Deputy Fun Inspector?!
[door opens]
Security Guard: I am so sorry about that, ma'am. Uh, here's my workstation. It hasn't been fun-inspected in years.
Applejack: I'm tryin' to tell you my friend made this badge. It ain't real.
Security Guard: Oh. An undercover Fun Inspector. I get it. Anyway, have fun "not inspecting" my workstation. Wink, wink.
Applejack: How many times do I have to say it?
[door closes]
[walkie-talkie chatter]
Vignette Valencia: Rarity told me you're the coolest, smartest friend who knows what's the opposite of down. What's up!
Rainbow Dash: Heh. True.
Vignette Valencia: I have a bold new vision for the Rainbooms that you are going to love! The Throwbacks! Capital T, #TBT, Throwback Today. Or for short, T.C.T.H.T.B.T.[T.B.T.], pronounced "ta-ca-ta-ca-ba-ta"! You are going to represent the touchstones of cool throughout the ages!
Rainbow Dash: I like it so far, and I assume I'll like what you say next.
Vignette Valencia: "Rainbow Dash: '50s Sockhop Sweetheart"! Poodle skirt, adorable blonde hair. How do you feel about shaving your head? I only ask 'cause you'll definitely have to do it for the wig.
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... there is no way anyone is shaving my head.
Vignette Valencia: B.Y.B.B.?
Rainbow Dash: B.I.A.A.T.B. But I already am the best?
Vignette Valencia: Well, if you insist on just, ugh, being yourself or whatever, then at least let me take a picture of the real you.
[electronic zapping]
Applejack: [gasps] Is Vignette zappin' my friends with a magical phone?! I knew she was up to somethin'! Just wasn't expectin' somethin' so magic and evil. She makes 'em disappear, but where do they go?
[zap]
Rainbow Dash: [echoing, to Fluttershy] Aw, man! Are we trapped in a magical phone? Typical. You gonna eat that stress salad?
[assistants chattering]
Rarity: One hour until wheels up, everyone! The light parade waits for no one! Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
Vignette Valencia: Big night tonight, Rare. Perhaps the biggest of all time. Definitely the biggest of your life. I'm excited for you.
Rarity: You're not worried? Not that I'm worried. Unless you're worried, in which case, I'm very, very worried!
Vignette Valencia: There's no room for self-doubt. You've gotta get rid of it faster than a pleated cargo skort.
Vignette Valencia and Rarity: [shudder]
Vignette Valencia: So I love everything you've done here. One thought – do we want the costumes to have lights on them? You've got time. I think we should start from scratch.
Rarity: Huh?
Vignette Valencia: B-T-Dubs, every amazing fashion vlogger and Snapgab celeb's gonna be here tonight! No presh.
Rarity: Really? 'Cause I'm feeling presh. Why am I seeing neon pink and yellow on that dragon's tail?! Is this a beast of legend or a safety vest?!
Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
Rarity: [sighs] I suppose Applejack has better things to do than final fittings and sound check!
Sunset Shimmer: Don't be mad at her. She's still out trying to find Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who aren't here either, by the way.
Rarity: Do not tell me who to be annoyed with!
Pinkie Pie: I know you're stressed, Rarity, but I'm sure you've got something totally amazing up your sleeve! You did remember to wear sleeves with amazing things up them, right?
Applejack: Stop!
[assistants gasping]
Applejack: Oh! Uh, not everybody stop. I just meant my friends. Y'all keep doin' what you're doin'. Sewin' up them, uh, clothes.
Rarity: Where have you been?!
Applejack: Nobody go anywhere with Vignette, understand?
Twilight Sparkle:
Nope.
Sunset Shimmer:
Not really.
Pinkie Pie: Nuh-uh.
[music]
Rarity: You can explain yourself after the parade. I'm sure—
Applejack: No, Rarity. Vignette is evil!
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: [whispering loudly] Applejack, she can hear you!
Applejack: She's done somethin' to Fluttershy. And I saw her from the security office when she made Rainbow Dash disappear with her phone! Ten eggs in a chicken coop says it's Equestrian magic.
Vignette Valencia: Oh, honey, delusional isn't your color. You're an autumn.
Applejack: If you're so innocent, then how do you explain this?! Say goodbye to your mannequin thingy!
[camera phone snapping]
Applejack: Uh, hang on. Watch it... disappear!
[beat]
Applejack: Uh, I think I hashgabbed my SnapTag or all in the— Ugh. I can't figure out these new, fandangled apps. Ugh. I sound just like Granny Smith!
Vignette Valencia: I just saw your friends. They're in wardrobe, and they're fine.
[camera phone snaps]
Rarity: Are you sure?
Vignette Valencia: And looking good in your costumes, by the way.
Rarity: Applejack, the parade is less than an hour away, and—
Applejack: This is bigger than the parade, Rarity!
Rarity: Nothing's bigger than the parade, Applejack!
Applejack: I know you didn't just say that about your missing friends!
Vignette Valencia: I'm gonna let you two sort this out amongst yourselves. [snaps fingers, waves hand]
[zip!]
Rarity: Applejack, admit it! You don't care about my parade!
Applejack: "My parade?!" This isn't about you! She's done somethin' to our friends!
Rarity: Is this about our friends or about you and Vignette? Ever since she gave me this opportunity, you've been jealous because she sees my potential but she didn't hire you!
Twilight Sparkle: You guys, stop!
Sunset Shimmer: This isn't like you!
Applejack: You're so blind, you can't even see she's usin' you! You only like her because she's always blowin' smoke up your chimney! But that's what she does to everyone! YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL!
[dramatic sting]
Applejack: Maybe I should just... go.
Rarity: Maybe you should.
Sunset Shimmer: Applejack, wait!
Rarity: [sobbing]
Pinkie Pie: Rarity!
Vignette Valencia: Waiting is for waiters, ladies. We're better off without her.
Twilight Sparkle: "We"?
Vignette Valencia: The Throwbacks, formerly known as the Rainbooms.
Sunset Shimmer: Hang on. Why does "we" include you?
Vignette Valencia: Obviously, somebody needs to fill Applejuice's spot. And since it's so last-minute, we are lucky to have someone with as much vision and talent as moi.
Pinkie Pie: Uh... you?
Vignette Valencia: And not just that! We'll be playing a song I wrote!
Sunset Shimmer: Okay. One – you are not in the band! And two – we are not performing without Applejack.
Pinkie Pie: Which is her name, by the way. Not "Applejuice".
Twilight Sparkle: And you know what? She's not usually one to make things up, like, ever.
Sunset Shimmer: So all that stuff she said about you...
Vignette Valencia: Eh. Is true.
[electronic zapping]
Vignette Valencia: Now let's see if this Equestrian magique is all it's cracked up to be.
[beeping]
Vignette Valencia: Now then... That's better.
[beeping]
Vignette Valencia: I wish I'd had this thing years ago! Think how perfect my life could've looked!
[door opens, door closes]
Vignette Valencia: [squeals] Rare, you're not gonna believe this!
Rarity: What? What is this? What am I looking at?
Vignette Valencia: Your friends, but better! Now we can make the parade exactly how I want it!
Rarity: How you want it? You said you hired me for my vision!
Vignette Valencia: Well, I needed your vision to bring out my vision. But now there's an app for that.
[hologram fizzling]
Rarity: Vignette, wh-what is going on here? Where are my friends?!
Vignette Valencia: Like, trapped in the internet as zeroes and ones or erased from existence or something? [intonation of "I dunno"] Mmmm.
Rarity: What?!
Vignette Valencia: See, like, my phone became magique or something, and now it has this power where whenever I take a picture of something and it disappears. And then I can customize them with a swipe of my finger and make them real again, or... real enough, but hey, blah-blah-blah, O.M.G., I'm boring myself to death just talking about this stuff.
Rarity: Bring back my friends this instant!
Vignette Valencia: Fine. If you wanna be with them so bad, I'll do you one last favor. You're welcome.
Rarity: [gasps]
[snap!]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] I can't believe we're trapped in Vignette's phone.
Rainbow Dash: We're no strangers to getting stuck in magical objects.
Sunset Shimmer: At least Rarity and Applejack are still free. Maybe they can get us out of here.
Fluttershy: They have to stop fighting first.
Twilight Sparkle: We can't just sit around hoping to get rescued. If we're in the internet, we can hack our way out! Well, I can. Maybe.
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope Rarity and Applejack are okay. I wish we knew what's going on out there.
[snap!]
Vignette Valencia: Sorry, Rare, guess you're not so "rare" after all. Okay, that was your cue to disappear!
[electronic zapping]
Rarity: Hmmm. Never underestimate a good accessory!
[electronic zapping]
Vignette Valencia: Stop un-magique-ing my magique thingy!
Rarity: [grunts] I can't believe I listened to you over Applejack!
[magic sounds]
Rarity: [pants]
Vignette Valencia: Hey! U-G-H! Whatevs! I don't need you anyway. Attention, people who work for me! I am now the lead costume designer because our former lead costume designer is being H.B.W. Herself, but worse! Now pretend I just gave you an inspiring speech and get back to work!
[vibraphone chiming]
[patrons chattering]
Applejack: The parade's about to start! Ugh! If only I had done somethin' or said somethin' different! Maybe none of this woulda happened. [sighs] I really screwed things up with Rarity.
Rarity: Applejack!
Applejack: [gasps] Rarity!
Rarity: [panting] Don't go!
Applejack: Uh...
Rarity: You were right. I got carried away and let this stupid parade become the only thing that mattered to me! And I let Vignette manipulate me with false flattery into forgetting what really matters – my friends.
Applejack: Come on, now. Your talent puts you so far beyond the need for flattery.
Rarity: Stop flattering me! I've not finished apologizing! [breathes] I'm sorry I lost sight of why we applied for jobs here in the first place.
Applejack: And I'm sorry I got jealous. All this time I thought I was bein' honest with you about not likin' Vignette. I wasn't bein' honest with myself. I felt like I was losin' my best friend.
Rarity: You didn't. Caramel apple girls to the end?
[music]
Rarity: [gasps] Our friends! Vignette has them all trapped in the internet! She confessed! We have to get them out! We have to save them!
Applejack: What?! We've been wastin' all this time chin-waggin' about feelin's?! We need to get crackin' on a rescue plan!
[phone rings]
Applejack: Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: It worked! Applejack, we're stuck in Vignette's phone! I found a way to hack her apple popper app to route a VoIP connection to your IP address!
Applejack: Uh... Magic. Got it.
Twilight Sparkle: Listen. We've come up with a plan to set all this right. You'll need to remotely install a virus that creates a backdoor admin account, which you can use to reset all the permissions on her phone and make a proxy backup. That should get us out of here! How much coding do you know?
Applejack: Uh, none. Uh, I can rub two sticks together.
Twilight Sparkle: [voice both on phone and nearby] Oh, boy. Okay. Get a pencil.
Applejack: Uh, hang on. I think I can hear you talkin'.
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Applejack: S-Somewhere close.
[door opens]
Applejack: Really, y'all?
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhhhh. The phone just teleported us into some random white room in the park.
Sunset Shimmer: We were just sitting in a white room the whole time?!
Pinkie Pie: Wait, you guys didn't know that?
Sunset Shimmer: [steaming]
[zap!]
Twilight Sparkle: Micro Chips?! [gasps] Did Vignette take your picture just now?
Micro Chips: I was just minding my own business making perfect caramel apples, when suddenly, Vignette saw me and said I wasn't as cool a nerd as she thought. Then she took my picture, and I ended up here, violating all known laws of space and time.
Sunset Shimmer: Guys, this is bad! It means Vignette is on the parade route, and she's using her phone to change whatever she doesn't like!
Fluttershy: What happens if she decides she doesn't like the crowd?
Twilight Sparkle: Everyone in the park is watching that parade! If her phone teleports that many people into this tiny room at the same time...!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Squish city!
Rarity: Our friends are in that crowd! Sweetie Belle is in that crowd! We've got to stop her!
Applejack: You do realize if we stop the parade, no one will see all your hard work.
Rarity: Someone reminded me that none of that matters without my friends.
Sunset Shimmer: We'd better hurry! I'm sure Vignette's getting more corrupted by Equestrian magic every minute!
[crowd cheering]
[Vignette Valencia]
[off-key]
Be yourself, but better
Or don't be yourself at all
Follow Vignette on Snapgab
That's V-I-G-N-E-T-T-EEEEEEE!
[feedback]
[crowd jeering]
[dissonant music playing]
Vignette Valencia: This crowd isn't cheering enough for my taste. Luckily, that can be tweaked with the flick of a finger. Say "cheese", everyone!
[float creaking]
Rarity: Sorry to rain on your parade!
[thud]
Applejack: Nice one!
Rarity: But I'm afraid this evening is cancelled. Now turn off your phone and hand it over!
[confused murmuring]
Vignette Valencia: Are you honestly asking a social media star to hand over her phone?
[crowd gasping]
Applejack: Yeah. She is.
Vignette Valencia: Rarity, this is the version of your friends that will be popular. I have the metrics to back that up.
[beat]
Vignette Valencia: Doesn't matter if they're real. It's what you show people online. This is your chance to be everything you've always wanted!
Rarity: No! It's a chance to look like everything I've always wanted! What I really want has been right in front of me the whole time! My friends!
[pony-up theme]
Vignette Valencia: [gasps]
Rarity: No amount of online success is worth it without my real life friends to share in it!
[magic sounds]
Vignette Valencia: [gasps]
[zap!]
[holograms crackling]
Vignette Valencia: What have you done?! Now how can things ever be perfect?!
Rarity: I love nothing more than someone telling me I made a perfect outfit, but I'd say you got a bit carried away.
Vignette Valencia: I-I... guess so.
Applejack: You guess so?! You created virtual holograms of our friends and almost sent an entire crowd of people to squish city!
[crowd disapproves]
Vignette Valencia: But, B.Y.B.B...
Rarity: It's not a bad thing to want to be better, but not at the expense of other people. And especially not your friends.
Vignette Valencia: Friends? [sighs] I have three million followers, but no real friends. How pathetic is that?
Rarity: Hmmm. You've got one. If you want.
Applejack: Make that two.
[crowd cheers and applauds]
Pinkie Pie: Why are they clapping? Do they even know what's going on?
Fluttershy: Eh.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! The Rainbooms are trending on Snapgab!
Pinkie Pie: People are saying that rainbow laser thing was the coolest light parade show they've ever seen!
[cameras snapping]
Applejack: Hey, maybe the parade ain't ruined after all!
Sunset Shimmer: We do still have our real instruments up there.
Rainbow Dash: [to Fluttershy] You're not too nervous?
Fluttershy: I should ask you the same thing.
Rarity: [to Applejack] If you're up for it.
[crowd cheering]
[Rarity]
A blemish on the surface
Of a perfect happy pic
Just add a fancy filter
And that's an easy fix
But behind that perfect snapshot
Are the people who you love
Don't forget those happy moments
Are because of
[Applejack]
Our memories together
[Rarity]
They can last forever
[Applejack]
We won't let this break us
[The Rainbooms]
We'll get through whatever
Side by side on this adventure
Our friendship will never, ever end
Side by side, besties forever
We know that it's more than just a trend
[Applejack]
'Cause it's you
[Rarity]
And me
[The Rainbooms]
This is how it should be
[Applejack]
The whole world stands before you
Full of things to see
Pay attention or you'll miss it
Life's best is always free
Don't lose sight of what's important
Give more than you can take
There's so much to strive for
So many friendships you can make
[Rarity]
All those likes can't measure
[Applejack]
The fun we have together
[Rarity and Applejack]
When we're in the moment
[The Rainbooms]
Everything is better
Side by side on this adventure
Our friendship will never, ever end
Side by side, besties forever
We know that it's more than just a trend
[Rarity and Applejack]
This is how it should be
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Spring Breakdown


[Angelic]
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
You are my Equestria Girls
You turn the light switch on
It brightens up my day like the sun
When my friends come a-runnin'
You were right all along
That together we're always better
We could turn a sketch into a masterpiece
When you're here, I feel like I'm complete
You are my Equestria Girls!
[calypso music]
[seagulls squawking]
[ship's horn blows]
Pinkie Pie: Spring break!
[patrons conversing]
Pinkie Pie: Spring break!
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: Spriiiiiiiiiing breeeeeeeeeeak!
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Welcome aboard the Luxe Deluxe, where you'll set sail for a full week of luxurious luxuriating on our most deluxe luxury liner!"
Fluttershy: Ooh! Sounds... luxurious.
Twilight Sparkle: Did you see there's a petting zoo onboard?
Pinkie Pie: Mmmm! Smoothies!
Twilight Sparkle: And an all-you-can-eat buffet you can... eat all you... can eat at?
Pinkie Pie: [screams] Twilight, this cruise has everything! And a moving floor!
[floorboards creak]
Applejack: [gags, gulps] I think I may have forgotten to pack my sea legs. [gags]
Sunset Shimmer: Thank you for organizing this trip, Twilight.
Rainbow Dash: I've gotta hand it to ya. You really have an eye for climactic battle settings!
Rest of the Equestria Girls except Sunset: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: Imagine going head to head with a sea monster by the pool!
[people screaming]
Rainbow Dash: [voiceover] Ka-chow! Evil Equestrian magic flows up the diving pool! [imitates explosion] The boat's sinking! Everyone's screaming!
Rainbow Dash: And then we save the day!
Fluttershy: Oh. Is the sea monster okay in the story?
Rainbow Dash: Better than okay! [slurps] She's our friend now! Best spring break ever!
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer: Or we could do... not that.
Rest of the Equestria Girls: [agreeing]
Twilight Sparkle: I was hoping we could do something without... having to battle Equestrian magic for a change?
Applejack: We couldn't even spend the day at Equestria World without creatin' a calamity.
Rainbow Dash: Which we then uncalaminated, like literal awesome superheroes!
[beat]
Rarity: [sighs] Twilight, this is a most deserved respite. We're all very thankful for the chance to relax and do absolutely nothing.
Rest of the Equestria Girls: [agreeing]
[cell phone buzzes]
Rarity: Oh! [gasps, screams, pants]
Rainbow Dash: What is it? Evil magic?!
Rarity: A GPS alert! We're in international waters!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps] What does that mean?
Rarity: Tax-free shopping! [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer: This is gonna sound crazy...
All except Rainbow Dash: [indistinct conversing]
[classical music]
[doors open]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Honey walnut crisp! Candy-coated cupcakes! Banana sorbet delight! [gasps] Triple Choco-Berry Blasted Butter Biscuit Bundt Cake?! [squeals] I waited my whole life to taste a cake like this! NOOOOO!
Puffed Pastry: [French accent] Excusez moi, mademoiselle. How about one fresh from ze oven?
[heavenly choir]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Rainbow Dash: Hee-yah!
Pinkie Pie: CAKE OVERBOARD!
[splat]
[patrons gasp]
Puffed Pastry: [gasps] Mon gâteau! ["My cake!"]
[steaming]
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh]
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [scream]
[doors slam]
Rainbow Dash: [nervous laugh] You saw it. She had a... a... spatula. So... you're welcome.
[goats bleating, birds chirping]
Fluttershy: A goat on a boat? [laughs] Now I've seen everything.
[rabbit chittering]
Fluttershy: Aren't you just the softest thing?
[rabbit chittering]
Fluttershy: You have forty-two grandchildren? Wow, Mr. Bouncy, that is impressive! I'd love to meet them.
Rainbow Dash: Not today!
Fluttershy: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Sure, he seems cute and cuddly now. But have you seen what a magic-infused evil rabbit can do?
[beat]
Fluttershy: Um... eat carrots?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, evil carrots!
[whoosh, whoosh, whoosh]
[ship creaking]
Applejack: [gagging]
Rainbow Dash: What's up, AJ?
Applejack: Hmmmph. Mmmph! Mmmmmph!
Rainbow Dash: You can't talk?
Applejack: Mmmm-mmmmmm, mmm-mmmmm!
Rainbow Dash: Evil magic stole your voice?!
Applejack: Mmmmmm! Mmmmmmmm...
Rainbow Dash: Out, evil spirits! Out!
Applejack: [gulps, sighs, retches]
Rainbow Dash: Or you're seasick. Heh. Because of evil magic?!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Or not. Heh.
[rock music]
Rainbow Dash: Has anyone seen bad magic on board?!
[record scratch]
[patrons muttering]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
[door opens]
[mystical music]
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Trixie Lulamoon: Prepare yourself!
Rainbow Dash: I'm ready for anything!
Trixie Lulamoon: [laughs]
Trixie Lulamoon: Prepare yourself... for the Great and Powerful Trixie of the High Seas! Two shows daily! Tip your waitresses!
Rainbow Dash: Wasn't ready for that.
Trixie Lulamoon: Why, hello, Rainbow Dash. If you're hoping for a glimpse of the ultimate power in the universe, you'll have to wait 'til tonight.
Rainbow Dash: Nah. Just looking for bad magic.
Trixie Lulamoon: Sorry to disappoint you, but the bad magic of others always follows the amazing magic of moi.
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean?
Trixie Lulamoon: Ugh, I'm talking about the old grandpas in the audience who see my show and then try to impress their kids with a disappearing quarter trick on their way home!
Rainbow Dash: Their magic only shows up in response to your magic! Huh! You're a genius!
Trixie Lulamoon: Well, obviously. Now, do you mind helping me shove this ten-foot handkerchief down my sleeve?
[door opens, door closes]
Trixie Lulamoon: [struggles]
[pop music]
[squeaks]
Rarity: Nine ninety-nine? [giggles] My savvy shopping smarts strike again! Here's ten. [struggles]
[coin clinks]
Ragamuffin: [Cockney accent, grunts] By golly, that's real copper, it is! Blooming delightful! A... penny for your thoughts, miss?
Rarity: [stammers, laughs] Oh, you can't afford my thoughts.
Ragamuffin: [chuckles] Quite right. Lovable scamp like meself. Ol' Ragamuffin, that's me name, innit? Uh, need a 'and?
Rarity: Uh, Ragamuffin? I'm Rarity.
Ragamuffin: Uh, Raar-it-ee? Hmmm.
Rarity: Uh, no-no-no-no-no. Rarity.
Ragamuffin: Rarr-it-ee?
Rarity: Close enough.
[guitar strum]
[tambourine jangle]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... Look at us! Getting ready to play at a pool party! Who knows what hijinks will ensue, am I right? Maybe I'll fall in the pool fully clothed! And everyone will laugh! [laughs] Are you not having fun?
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] My whole life, I've been taught that you could only berry blast a butter biscuit on a bundt cake with two layers of chocolate. But this afternoon, I saw the truth. The buffet has a Triple Choco-Berry Blasted Butter Biscuit Bundt Cake.
Twilight Sparkle: How was it?!
Pinkie Pie: I don't know! 'Cause Rainbow Dash got me banned from the buffet!
Twilight Sparkle: What?!
Fluttershy: She also scared the animals in the petting zoo. Now they don't want pets. [whispered] It's just a zoo.
Applejack: Ugh. She sure wasn't helpin' me not get sick off the side of the boat.
Twilight Sparkle: But you're still having fun, right?
Fluttershy: Oh, of course.
Pinkie Pie: [sarcastically] Yeah.
Applejack: [gags]
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, everyone.
Sunset Shimmer: It's not your fault.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, gang! Sorry I'm late! So, listen. I've got an idea for our show tonight! We unleash some awesomeness on the crowd! I'm talkin' rainbow lasers!
Sunset Shimmer: Is that a thing?
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Yeah! When we—
Pinkie Pie: Do you mean when we turn into ponies or do you mean—?
Rainbow Dash: No! The other thing!
Sunset Shimmer: I always called that "pony up".
Rainbow Dash: [scoffs] The rainbow lasers!
Fluttershy: I don't think that's a thing.
Rainbow Dash: It will be after we do it tonight! Who's with me?
Sunset Shimmer: Rainbow Dash, can I talk to you for a second?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, gulps] Twilight worked really hard to plan this trip for all of us, and... uh, how can I say this without being mean?
Rainbow Dash: Just say it! I can take it!
Sunset Shimmer: You're ruining it for everyone!
Rainbow Dash: Ouch! Your words just... punched my feelings.
Sunset Shimmer: You said you could take it. Just stop looking for a problem when there isn't one. How's that?
Rarity: [giggles] Hello, darlings!
Twilight Sparkle: Where have you been?
Ragamuffin: 'Avin' a li'l chat with ol' Ragamuffin, she was!
[beat]
Ragamuffin: All right, all right. Thanks for ev'rything, Rarit-y.
Rarity: [sighs]
Ragamuffin: Good luck for all that music an' whatnot.
Applejack: [gags]
Ragamuffin: Cheers!
Rarity: [sighs] It's like he fell out of a historical romance novel.
Fluttershy: Is that how romance sounds?
[water rushing, wind pulsing]
Rarity: [claps]
[Rainbow Dash]
Get in the groove
You bring your dancing shoes
I'll bring the attitude
You bring the crew so we can move
Light up the floor
Turn up the bass
Yeah, let me see that smile on your face
Come on and go with the flow
Gonna steal the show, yeah
[Twilight Sparkle]
Let me show you how it goes
Sunset Shimmer: Repeat after me!
[The Rainbooms]
'Cause it's all, all, all, all good
I feel abso-absolutely amazing
'Cause it's all, all, all, all good
I feel abso-absolutely amazing
Rainbow Dash: Rainbow lasers!
[instrumental break]
[boom!]
[lightbulbs popping]
[patrons screaming]
[power winding down]
[patrons mumbling]
Rainbow Dash: Oh! It's about to go down!
Patron: The ship's going down?!
[patrons scream]
Rainbow Dash: Not the ship! The ship's not going down! Ugh! I meant evil! Stop screaming!
[worried conversing]
Fluttershy: What happened to the lights?
Rarity: What happened to the engine?
Pinkie Pie: Awww, I hate seeing a party get shut down before its time.
Applejack: The good news is now that it's dark, maybe my brain won't know I'm on a boat. [gags] Oh, no. It heard me. Blegh!
Twilight Sparkle: Let's not let a little thing like a total mechanical and electrical failure ruin our fun.
[tambourine jingles]
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Leave it to me!
Rainbow Dash: She's wasting her time! Because this is Equestrian magic!
Sunset Shimmer: Stop!
Rainbow Dash: You stop! We show off our magic, and literally ten seconds later, the power blows? We scared whatever's out there, and it's fighting back! We should split up and search the ship! Who's with me?
[silence]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! That's the last time I ask "who's with me?".
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but, heh, may I?
[pipes rattling]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] What a mess! Did you even read the six-hundred-page online emergency handbook?!
[cartoony skittering]
Pinkie Pie: Time to raid the desert buffet under cover of darkness! Triple Choco-Berry Blasted Butter Biscuit Bundt Cake, here I come!
Puffed Pastry: Who said zat?!
Pinkie Pie: No one! Shouldn't you be upstairs?
[thud]
Puffed Pastry: Somebody has to guard ze bundt cakes! Stay back! I have a spatula!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: [slurps]
[muffled Irish stepping music]
Rarity: Hello... Ragamuffin...
[muffled conversation]
Rarity: Ragamuffin? Are you down here? I was just, uh, [clears throat] in the neighborhood, and, um...
[door opens]
[music gets louder]
Rarity: What?!
[rhythmic clapping]
Rarity: Who needs electricity when you have... [stammers] whatever this is?
[water splashing]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs]
[lightning strikes]
[electrical humming]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! I knew it! Evil magic! You guys gotta see this!
[zip!]
[wrenching sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] All that's left is to hold this lead wire in place while the auxiliary unit cycles, and everything should be back to normal in three... two... one—
Rainbow Dash: No time for that!
Twilight Sparkle: Aah!
[kaboom!]
[music]
[explosion]
Rainbow Dash: No time for that!
Pinkie Pie: [squeals]
Puffed Pastry: Gah! Banned for life!
Ragamuffin: [chuckles] Well, me pa worked in a coal mine, but I always wanted to dance! Eh, a fancy girl like you wouldn't understand.
Rarity: Well, actually, in the school production of Bedazzled, I played a coal miner's daughter who danced in bedazzled magical boots from her fairy bootmother. So... [nervous laugh]
[sweeping romantic music]
Rarity: [nervous laugh] Aah!
Rainbow Dash: No time for that!
Rainbow Dash: I promise, this is more important than all of your things.
Rest of the Equestria Girls: [skeptical murmuring]
Pinkie Pie: I don't think so!
Rainbow Dash: Behold! Evil magic!
Rest of the Equestria Girls: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: What? Huh? The whole ocean was glowing a minute ago! It went "whoosh-whoosh-whoosh" w-with little ribbon thingies!
Twilight Sparkle: [indignantly] Do you know which sorcerer can conjure the greatest magic of all? Mother Nature.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Twilight Sparkle: What you saw was probably nothing more than an innate phosphorescent biochemical property of common algae.
Rainbow Dash: Whaaaat? If that's what you think, then let's get in lifeboats and I'll prove it! The magic came from that way! We sail out and find the source!
Twilight Sparkle: And then?
Rainbow Dash: Then it's go time!
Twilight Sparkle: Which means?
Rainbow Dash: We take no prisoners!
Twilight Sparkle: Where would we take them?
Rainbow Dash: Who?
Twilight Sparkle: The prisoners. That's kidnapping! Are you even listening to yourself?!
Rainbow Dash: [growls] You don't want me to be right because you're scared to be a superhero!
Twilight Sparkle: We're not superheroes!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, oh! Excuuuuse me! We're just ordinary girls who have saved the world from complete destruction multiple times!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, yes.
Rainbow Dash: Keep telling yourself that! But the rest of us aren't in denial! Right, everyone? Let's get to those boats and do what we do best! Who's with me?!
Rarity: [growls]
Applejack: Hmmph.
Pinkie Pie: [growls]
Rainbow Dash: [sighs] Okay, that's the last time I say that.
[lightning strikes]
[chandelier jingles]
Applejack: [gagging]
Twilight Sparkle: I wasn't very nice to Rainbow Dash last night.
Sunset Shimmer: No one's blaming you for wanting to give us a normal spring break. We'd be having one if it weren't for me. I brought magic to this world in the first place.
Twilight Sparkle: I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. In any world.
Sunset Shimmer: Aww. Same here. How about we make sure Rainbow Dash knows that, too?
[doors open]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs, gasps]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[wind blowing]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Let's have a do-over!
[water splashing]
Sunset Shimmer: You don't think she went off into the storm, do you?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'll call her.
[dial tone ringing]
Rainbow Dash's voicemail: What up, nerds? It's Rainbow Dash having way too much fun being awesome to answer your call! So leave a message, if you're too old to text me!
[lightning strikes]
Twilight Sparkle: You're going after her?
Sunset Shimmer: She wouldn't even be out there if I hadn't brought magic to this world in the first place. What about you? Are you in?
Twilight Sparkle: Of course I'm in! A hundred percent on board!
[thunder]
Sunset Shimmer: Then get on board.
Twilight Sparkle: I just said I.... "On board".
Applejack: Oof. I'll fix the engine while you're gone. We'll be ready to go before that storm hits us. [sickly groan]
Sunset Shimmer: But you're seasick. Going below deck is the worst thing you could do.
Applejack: [gulps] Not worse than losin' Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie: I'll help keep people calm! Get cake. I mean, keep people calm!
Fluttershy: And I'll make sure there's lifejackets for everyone. Even grandchildren.
Rarity: And I'll inform the below-deck crew. Even though we're from two different worlds. One a lonely coal miner, the other a sophisticated beaut—
Applejack: [gags]
Rarity: I mean... [clears throat] I'll, uh, I'll, uh, I'll help Applejack.
Sunset Shimmer: We'll find Rainbow Dash and be back as soon as possible. [to Twilight] Let's go!
[motor running]
Sunset Shimmer: You forgot to untie the rope.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, yeah.
[adventurous music]
[lightning strikes]
[motor winds down]
Sunset Shimmer: There! That's her boat! Rainbow Dash?!
Twilight Sparkle: Any sign of her? You don't think she... went in there?
Parrot: [squawks]
Sunset Shimmer: Where's Fluttershy when we need her?
Parrot: [squawks] "I'm going in that jungle!"
Sunset Shimmer: "I'm going in that jungle"? The parrot must be repeating what she said. Let's go!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: In there?
[thunder and lightning]
[animal sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: Anyone could've said that.
Parrot: [squawks] "Or my name isn't Rainbow Dash!" [squawks]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh! Fine.
[suspenseful music]
[bat squeaking]
Twilight Sparkle: [yells, screams, yells, growls, pants, yells]
[splat]
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
[plants rustling]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles, screeches, yells, growls]
Rainbow Dash: Help! Help! Heeeeeellllllp! Ugh! [sighs] Way to go, Rainbow Dash. You did it again. You had to go off on your own, didn't you?
Sunset Shimmer: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey! Uh, heh, 'sup? Um, just takin' a rest in here, y'know? Finding evil magic is hard work.
Twilight Sparkle: [indignantly] Did you find any?
Rainbow Dash Nah. Just quicksand.
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh. Don't struggle. We'll find something to pull you out.
Rainbow Dash: Struggle? [struggling] Who's struggling?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs, under her breath] Typical Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: I've had a little time to think.
[blub]
Rainbow Dash: A lot of time, actually. And I spent most of it wishing I could make it up to you. Because you were right.
Parrot: [squawking] "Twilight's wrong!"
Rainbow Dash: Anyone... could've said that.
Parrot: [squawks] "Or my name isn't Rainbow Dash!"
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Gotta stop saying my name all the time.
Twilight Sparkle: [scoffs]
Rainbow Dash: I was a little annoyed at first, but I'll admit it: I ruined everyone's spring break for nothing. There's no magic out here! Nothing magical at all!
[suspenseful music]
Rainbow Dash: The only villain trying to ruin spring break was me.
[monster growling]
Sunset Shimmer: ...And maybe that giant plant monster?
Rainbow Dash: What giant plant monster?
Twilight Sparkle: That giant plant monster!
Sunset Shimmer: [screaming]
[plant monster growling]
Rainbow Dash: [screaming] Get me out of here!
Twilight Sparkle: [struggling] We're trying!
Sunset Shimmer: [yells]
Rainbow Dash: Try harder!
Sunset Shimmer: Ugh!
Rainbow Dash: Oof!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[plant monster roars]
[splat]
Sunset Shimmer: Oof! Take my hand!
Rainbow Dash: Take your hand? [panting]
Sunset Shimmer: I've seen something like this before.
[sparkling]
Sunset Shimmer: This is definitely Equestrian magic!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, struggles] I can't hold it back much longer!
Sunset Shimmer: I have a way out of this. Do you trust me?
Rainbow Dash: Of course!
Sunset Shimmer: See you soon!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Did you just...?!
Sunset Shimmer: I'll explain later! We jump on three!
[monster roars]
Twilight Sparkle: Oof!
Sunset Shimmer: One, two, three!
[slow motion sounds]
[magic booming]
[water rushing]
Sunset Shimmer: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: Where are we?
Rainbow Dash: Not about to get eaten. Good enough for me.
Sunset Shimmer: It's... more complicated than that.
[magic sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa...
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [continues screaming, pants, screams again, screams louder] PONY FACE!
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight! You're okay! This is supposed to happen!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] All my things are horse things!
Sunset Shimmer: 'Round here we call them "pony things".
Rainbow Dash: Incoming! Wah!
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Sunset Shimmer: That wasn't quicksand back there. The sand was covering a portal to Equestria. I thought there was only one from school to Celestia's mirror, but who knows how many there are and where they might lead?
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, I wasn't listening. Because we're ponies!
Rainbow Dash: Y'know, Twilight, since I kinda messed things up on the boat, maybe this could be your vacation!
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm...
Rainbow Dash: We're here, we're ponies. Let's have some fun! Pony style! Whoa!
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, that's not a thing we say.
Twilight Sparkle: This would be a fantastic opportunity to study the physical laws of a novel dimension.
Sunset Shimmer: Shouldn't we be getting back?
Rainbow Dash: It's just a little rain. I'm sure our friends are fine.
[lightning]
[patrons screaming]
Applejack: [sighs, on walkie-talkie] Breaker-breaker four-and-a-half, this is "Red Delicious" requestin' a storm status update! Over!
Rarity: [on walkie-talkie] Ahoy, uh, matey! Uh, this is Rarity. Please repeat.. the words you said.
Pinkie Pie: [squeals]
[lightning]
Rarity: I'm beginning to wonder if— [screams]
[splash]
Rarity: ...if this is no ordinary storm!
Pinkie Pie: I don't think she heard you.
[lightning]
Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie: [scream]
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] We'd better keep a low profile. Follow my lead.
[zip!]
[whimsical music]
[apples thudding]
Sunset Shimmer: [whinnies]
[bushes rustling]
[cartoony skittering]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: A little higher on the left.
Spike: [grunting]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Now on the right.
Spike: [grunting]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: A little more. [gasps] Sunset Shimmer!
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight!
Spike: [grunting]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: It's wonderful to see you! What are you doing here?
Sunset Shimmer: It's a long story.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Wait. How are you coming in the front door and not up from where I keep the mirror? [gasps] You found another portal between our worlds!
Sunset Shimmer: I guess it wasn't that long.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I like her.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Other me! Good to see you both again! What about the others?
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, they're back home waiting for us. But they're fine. No reason to hurry back.
[lightning]
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope they hurry back!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack said to tell you she's about to reconnect the engine and we might feel a little jolt.
Fluttershy: Oh. When?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, she didn't say.
[vroom!]
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy: [scream]
Applejack: I can't slow it down!
[lightning]
Applejack: And we just lost steering!
Spike: ...and that's the last time I ever went to a dragon wedding!
Both Twilights, Sunset Shimmer, and Rainbow Dash: [laugh]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Oh, you have to try Ms. Cake's chocolate fondue. It takes twenty minutes though.
Twilight Sparkle: Ah, we have all the time in the world.
Pinkie Pie: We're running out of time! Watch out for rocks! Watch out for everything!
Rarity and Fluttershy: [scream]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Pinkie Pie (pony): [screaming]
Sunset Shimmer: Did you hear that? It sounded like Pinkie Pie yelling.
[wheels squeaking]
Pinkie Pie (pony): I was yelling, silly! Standing at the front door yelling, "Fondue delivery!" Oh, hey, Rainbow Dash, pony-in-the-glasses-who-I-don't-recognize. Here. You have to try this! It's a fresh batch!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, ow! Too hot! It needs to be, like, twenty percent cooler.
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts, munches] Mmm! I love this!
[thunder and lightning]
Rarity: I hate this!
Rarity and Pinkie Pie: [grunt]
Fluttershy: [groans] I can't take much more of this!
Pinkie Pie: You might not have to! [gasps] Rock ho!
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy: [scream]
[metal ripping]
Applejack: [yells]
[ship creaking]
[water sloshing]
[patrons gasping and screaming]
Trixie Lulamoon: Behold! The vase is now empty! The question is – can the Great and Powerful Trixie bring the water back?!
[water splashing]
Trixie Lulamoon: Oh, no. I'm too powerful. I'm too powerful!
Fluttershy: [gasps] We're... sinking!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: And that was from the time I was rescued by my own pupil! [giggles] Which really gave me some perspective on the importance of mentoring.
Twilight Sparkle: You ponies are, like, superheroes!
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Oh, we're not superheroes.
Twilight Sparkle: Sure, just ordinary ponies who save the world from complete destruction multiple times.
Rainbow Dash: Sound familiar?
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Here's a good one.
[magic sounds]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: This is from our battle with the Storm King. He stole our magic and used it to create the most powerful storm in Equestria. But, luckily, my friends and I were able to work together to drain his magic and seal his power into this.
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle: [awed reactions]
Rainbow Dash: This symbol looks familiar.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: You've... seen this before?
Rainbow Dash: It's just... That symbol. It looks exactly like what I thought I saw in the water when we were back on the boat. But we decided the magic glow was just Mother Nature.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: When you saw the thing that looked exactly like this thing, there wasn't any thunder or lightning accompanying it, [nervous laugh] right?
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, there was definitely thunder.
Twilight Sparkle: Affirmative on the thunder.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Nopony freak out, but I think that maybe there's a chance when we destroyed the Storm King, we didn't capture all his magic, and maybe it found its way into your world! It might be turning into a giant, magic storm and threatening your friends as we speak! NOPONY FREAK OUT!
Sunset Shimmer: Our friends!
Twilight Sparkle: We have to go back!
Rainbow Dash: Ladies... it's hero time!
[wind whipping]
[water splashing]
[patrons gasping and screaming]
[metal creaking]
[thunder and lightning]
Fluttershy: We're sinking!
Pinkie Pie: To the lifeboats!
[lightning]
[splash]
[bubbling]
Pinkie Pie: And there go the lifeboats. That was a very specific lightning strike.
[thunder and lightning]
[patrons screaming]
[electrical humming]
Rainbow Dash: No time to lose! Let's do this!
Twilight Sparkle: Everybody, grab on!
Sunset Shimmer: Right!
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: Weather update – sunny!
Rainbow Dash: With a chance of awesome!
Sunset Shimmer: I can't believe how easy that was!
Twilight Sparkle: I think we all learned a valuable lesson today.
[far-off screaming]
Rainbow Dash: I learned we don't have to go looking for trouble.
[fireworks exploding]
Rainbow Dash: Just have to be there for each other when it finds us.
Twilight Sparkle: But I guess if you hadn't run off, we wouldn't have what we need to go back and save our friends.
Rainbow Dash: All part of the plan.
Parrot: [squawks] "The ship is still sinking." [squawks]
Sunset Shimmer: Guys! The ship is sinking!
[partons screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no!
Sunset Shimmer: We gotta help them!
Parrot: [squawks]
[pull-cord cranking]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts] It won't start!
Rainbow Dash: It's hero time! [grunts, panting]
[ship rattling]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you guys okay?
Pinkie Pie: You're back! [laughs, squeals] While you were gone, we fixed the boat, but then we crashed into a rock, and we're sinking, so... we ruined your spring break! [sobs]
Twilight Sparkle: It's not your fault. The storm was Equestrian magic. Rainbow Dash was right all along. Whatever the seven of us are facing, however our lives are changing, we're going through it together. So, let's get everyone off this boat like the superheroes we are! Who's with me?
Rest of the Equestria Girls: We are!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts] See how easy that was?!
Twilight Sparkle: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Rainbow Dash:
Rainbow lasers?
Twilight Sparkle:
Pony up!
Sunset Shimmer: I thought we were calling it—
Rainbow Dash: No, we agreed on—
Pinkie Pie: Light it up, ladies!
[pony-up music and sounds]
Fluttershy: I'll get the animals!
Sunset Shimmer: AJ, Dash, Pinkie, and I will make sure the decks are clear!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah!
Rarity: I'll make a new lifeboat!
Twilight Sparkle: I'll help!
[adventurous music]
[magic sounds]
[rabbit whimpering]
[rabbit chittering]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
[zipping]
Sunset Shimmer: Head for the lifeboat! That way!
[little girl crying]
[music]
[no dialogue]
[little girl crying]
[door pounding]
Applejack: Stand back!
[door opens]
Puffed Pastry: [grunting]
[fanfare]
Puffed Pastry: I thought I told you never to come in here!
Pinkie Pie: Good thing I'm a slow learner.
Puffed Pastry: I'm trapped. My foot is stuck!
Puffed Pastry and Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
Pinkie Pie: [deep breath, bubbling] Triple Choco-Berry Blasted Butter Biscuit Bundt Cake! [munching]
[water splashing]
Pinkie Pie: Is that everyone?
Rainbow Dash: All clear!
Applejack: Okay! Let's shove off!
[vroom!]
[patrons conversing]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Ragamuffin: Well, I s'pose this is goodbye.
Rarity: Take care of yourself.
Ragamuffin: You, too, Rar-i-ee.
Rarity: Ragamuffin, don't let anyone tell you you can't be a dancer. [dramatically] For all coal turns to diamonds!
Ragamuffin: [non-accent] That's the best advice I've ever heard!
Rarity: Thank yo— Wait. What?
Fluttershy: So... now what?
Sunset Shimmer: I might have a way home. But it's... kinda weird.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: A little more on the left.
[picture creaking]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: A little more. Perfect.
Spike: Phew!
[crash!]
Spike: [groans]
Sunset Shimmer: [singsongy] We're back!
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Sunset's Backstage Pass


[Angelic]
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
You are my Equestria Girls
You turn the light switch on
It brightens up my day like the sun
When my friends come a-runnin'
You were right all along
That together we're always better
We could turn a sketch into a masterpiece
When you're here, I feel like I'm complete
You are my Equestria Girls!
[engine sounds]
[indistinct chatter]
Sunset Shimmer: Starswirled Music Festival, we have arrived!
Applejack: Two days and nights of cool music, hot food, and sleepin' under the stars!
Sunset Shimmer: To Pinkie and me, this festival is about one thing only.
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: PostCrush!
Applejack: [chuckles] We know. Y'all won't stop talkin' about it. 
Pinkie Pie: Who, PostCrush? That's only because PostCrush is the craziest, most amazing-est pop duo ever! PostCrush, PostCrush, PostCrush!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Oh. I see your point.
Sunset Shimmer: After they cancelled their last tour to go on "indefinite hiatus", we thought we'd never see them live.
Pinkie Pie: But we thought wrong! Roll call!
Sunset Shimmer: Kiwi Lollipop...
Pinkie Pie: A.K.A. "K-Lo"!
Sunset Shimmer: ...is the cool one.
Pinkie Pie: While Supernova Zap...
Sunset Shimmer: A.K.A. "Su-Z"!
Pinkie Pie: ...is the zany one! Not unlike another certain dynamic duo I know.
Rest of Equestria Girls: [laughing]
Applejack: All right, less laughin' and more gaffin'. We got an early mornin' tomorrow.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
[birds chirping]
Sunset Shimmer: [snoring]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh? [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Sunset Shimmer: Hey!
Rainbow Dash: Oh! Uh, sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.
Sunset Shimmer: Ah. Not gonna let a little thing like intense pain ruin this perfect day!
Applejack: So, I says to Big Mac, "Get your own chicken coop!"
Fluttershy: [spit take, laughs]
Applejack: Hey!
Fluttershy: Sorry. That one has animals in it.
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Pinkie Pie!
[beat]
Fluttershy: Um, I don't get it.
Equestria Girls: [laughing]
[splat!]
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa! Are you okay?
Sunset Shimmer: Just a little mud.
Pinkie Pie: Sunset, Sunset! Look!
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: So many lines to stand in! This day's already amazing! Let's go! [to "Cherry Crash"] You come to this line often? Any other sweet lines we should hit up?
Rainbow Dash: Hey!
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Sunset Shimmer: Hmm. That line's moving fast. Huh. They are, too. Can't this thing move any faster?!
Security Guard: Security is an art. It cannot be rushed.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Aw, cheer up. Lines fly when you're having fun!
[beeping]
Pinkie Pie: See you in there, Sunset!
[beeping]
Sunset Shimmer: Whew.
Applejack: Welp, y'all have fun seein' PostCrush. We'll see ya back at camp tonight.
Sunset Shimmer: Main objective – Get front row for PostCrush. Mission procedure – we cut around the neon garden to the main stage and rush the front during Pon Iver's set. We can camp there until showtime.
Pinkie Pie: Secondary objective – win a tandem bicycle!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar. And my sugar senses say... three hundred and five!
[buzzer]
Pinkie Pie: Awww.
Sunset Shimmer: What about seeing PostCrush together?
Pinkie Pie: Uh, this bike has two seats, Sunset. That's one more than usual! Fine. I'll focus. Oh, look! The neon garden!
[zip!]
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! [giggling]
Sunset Shimmer: [panting]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling, snorts]
Sunset Shimmer: [panting] The neon garden is a maze?!
Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
Sunset Shimmer: [groans] Where is Pinkie Pie?!
Sunset Shimmer: Come on! We're gonna miss the show!
Pinkie Pie: Awww.
Festival Artist: Who wants to be part of an art show?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I do! I do!
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Guess what! I spilled paint, and it looks exactly like Rarity with a pirate mustache!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What? It's washable.
Sunset Shimmer: There. Now, no more getting separated and no more distractions.
Pinkie Pie: You got it, Su— Whoa!
Sunset Shimmer: They are about to go on! We'll have to push to the front row! Come on!
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs, gasps] Puffed Pastry's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! No! I will not give in! [squeals] I can't resist!
Sunset Shimmer: This is the worst possible time for churros, Pinkie! W-Whoa!
[crash!]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Our bad.
[door creaks]
[snip!]
[door closes]
Announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! PostCruuuuush!
[crowd cheers]
Rest of Equestria Girls: [chattering]
Rainbow Dash: There they are! Two peas in the pod! How was it? Rad-tacular? Amaze-magic?
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Applejack: Uh, what's wrong?
Sunset Shimmer: We missed PostCrush. Someone wanted to win a bike, then got us lost in a maze, covered in paint, sidelined by churros, and finally, kicked out!
Applejack: Uhhh...
Pinkie Pie: I'm really sorry. I wish we could do the day all over again. I'd do it different.
Sunset Shimmer: Me, too. I'd do it alone.
[music]
Sunset Shimmer: [whimpers]
[whoosh!]
Sunset Shimmer: [snoring]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh? [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Sunset Shimmer: Ow!
Rainbow Dash: Oops! Heh. Sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.
Sunset Shimmer: Starswirled... day one?
Applejack: ..."Get your own chicken coop!"
Fluttershy: [spit take, laughs] Sorry. That one has animals in it.
Sunset Shimmer: What?
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Pinkie Pie!
[splat!]
Sunset Shimmer: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa!
Pinkie Pie: Sunset, Sunset! Look! So many lines to stand in! This day's already amazing!
[zip!]
Twilight Sparkle: Are you okay?
Sunset Shimmer: I'm... not sure.
Pinkie Pie: You come to this line often? Any other sweet lines we should hit up?
Sunset Shimmer: What's going on?
Rainbow Dash: You said it, Sunset. [to Security Guard] What's with these long lines, man?
Security Guard: Security is an art.
Security Guard and Sunset Shimmer: It can't be rushed.
Applejack: Welp, y'all have fun seein' PostCrush. We'll see ya back at camp tonight.
Pinkie Pie: What do you want to do first, Sunset? There's so much we can do! Like... win a tandem bicycle?! All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar.
Sunset Shimmer: Anyone else having serious deja vu?
Twilight Sparkle: Nope. Just deja V-you. [laughs] Get it? 'Cause it's just you? With the deja v...
Sunset Shimmer: I don't know how to explain it, but... I did all of this yesterday.
Twilight Sparkle: We were at school yesterday. [grunts]
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie? I know where she's headed.
Pinkie Pie: What are we waiting for?
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie, focus. If you keep running off like this, we'll be late for the concert!
Festival Artist: Who wants to be part of an art show?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, ooh! I do! I do!
Sunset Shimmer: No!
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer: [growls]
Pinkie Pie: Awesome.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] If this already happened, could you've warned us about the paint?
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie's just splattered paint, and it looks exactly like Rarity with a pirate mustache. How's that?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that would prove it for sure!
[stall door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Seriously?!
Pinkie Pie: What? It's washable.
Sunset Shimmer: So, what do you think, Twi? Any scientific explanation for this?
Twilight Sparkle: It's possible that yesterday, a snag in the fabric of spacetime could cause a temporal point – i.e., today – to fold in on itself and thereby repeat. Quite facinating, really.
Sunset Shimmer: Time loop!
Pinkie Pie: Time loop! [laughs] Classic Sunset.
Sunset Shimmer: But why only me? The only time I was alone was on the hill when I wished—
Pinkie Pie: For more wishes? Solid choice.
Sunset Shimmer: This might sound crazy, but... I think Equestrian magic is giving me another chance to see PostCrush.
Twilight Sparkle: Eh. Not that crazy.
Pinkie Pie: Eh. Seen crazier. Wait. Why didn't you see PostCrush?
Sunset Shimmer: Mistakes were made.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, don't beat yourself up. I promise we'll see them together tonight, or so help me, I— [sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gasps] Puffed Pastry's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! Now's proooob'ly not the best time to go get one.
Sunset Shimmer: It's not. Let's get moving so nothing goes wrong for PostCrush.
Pinkie Pie: On the other hand, if I get two, then Sunset can have one with me. No! No! I will not give in! [slurps, whimpers, groans] But I can't resist!
[zip!]
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, this is the worst possible time for churros! Pinkie, stop!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[crash!]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [groaning]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Our bad.
Sunset Shimmer: No, her bad. You saw whose bad it was, right, sir?
[door opens]
[door closes]
Announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one... [continues under]
Pinkie Pie: Maybe you'll get another another chance?
Announcer: ...PostCruuuuush!
[crowd cheers]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Sunset Shimmer: Thank you! Ow! [strained] Thank you!
Rainbow Dash: Oops! Heh. Sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.
Applejack: So, I says to Big Mac, "Get your own chicken coop!"
Fluttershy: [spit take, laughs]
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Pinkie Pie—!
Sunset Shimmer: No time for jokes. I'm gonna head out on my own today. Laters!
Twilight Sparkle: You okay?
Sunset Shimmer: Keep Pinkie Pie busy! Thanks!
Fluttershy: But weren't you supposed to see PostCrush togeter?
[beeping]
Pinkie Pie: Sunset! Hey! Wait up! Hey! [gasps] Win a tandem bike? Sunset! Suuuunseeeet!
Sunset Shimmer: [panting]
Pinkie Pie: You found me! Oh, okay! Now I'll find you!
Pinkie Pie: I'm having fun with my friend! Whoa!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: Sunset! Sunset? Sunset... are you... [gasps] ...ditching me? [whimpers]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Universe, I promise to make the most of this do-over do-over!
[ka-chunk!]
[rock music]
[crowd chattering]
Announcer: [laughs] Let me hear three big cheers for two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! It's PostCruuuuush!
[crowd cheers]
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs] We did it! PostCrush roll call! Whoa!
[Kiwi Lollipop]
(Yeah)
[PostCrush]
Be the true, true, true original
Dare to be what you are meant to be
Working hard, that's our thing
All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
True, true original
True, true original
True, true original
[cymbal crash]
[PostCrush]
We're perfect, perfectly true
Sunset Shimmer: What a perfect day!
Rainbow Dash: Hah. There she is. The lone wolf. [howls]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs]
Applejack: Pinkie Pie's been actin' mighty strange this evening. Any idea what might've happened to her?
Sunset Shimmer: We... lost track of each other.
Pinkie Pie: Me lose track of Sunset? Hah! But she's been right here the whole time! Right, actual Sunset Shimmer? [imitating Sunset Shimmer] Right, Pinkie Pie! By the way, your roasting technique is flawless! [laughs, normally] Thanks!
[beat]
Rarity: [sarcastically] How was the show?
Sunset Shimmer: It was... perfect.
Rarity: [scoffs] I was being judgmental, darling. What is the point of throwing shade if no one's there to catch it?
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry. Too blissed out from the show to care right now. Talk tomorrow?
Sunset Shimmer: [snoring]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Hmm? [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: It... can't be. It's still—
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Rainbow Dash: Oh! Uh, sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, Equestrian magic.
Sunset Shimmer: My...
Sunset Shimmer: ...do-over...
Sunset Shimmer: ...can...
Sunset Shimmer: ...end now! Cue Snips, and push Sandalwood out of the way in three, two...
Snips: You stage direct— Whoa! [groans]
[splat!]
Snips: Aww. Could've warned me, you know?
Sunset Shimmer: Tried that. You called me a witch.
Snips: [gasps] Are you?!
Sunset Shimmer: [groans, grunts]
Festival Artist: Hey, watch it!
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry. Thought you didn't come up 'til later. I'll make a note of that for next time. Day seventeen – saw paint guy by food truck right before he breaks up with his girlfriend. It's not you, it's her. I'm not a witch. I'm just gonna go.
Festival Artist: Yeah, well... you better run!
Sunset Shimmer: Run from my problems? I... actually haven't tried that yet.
[engine starts]
[vrooming]
[tires screeching]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Sunset! Slow down!
Equestria Girls: [yelping]
Sunset Shimmer: I gotta break out of here somehow! Maybe if I leave the campgrounds, it'll finally end!
Pinkie Pie: What. Are. You. Talking about?!
Sunset Shimmer: This is all your fault!
Equestria Girls: [screaming]
[exhaust backfires]
[engine dies]
[metal creaks]
Pinkie Pie: Are you saying the calendar industry cooked up a conspiracy to make every day today just to save paper?!
Sunset Shimmer: No, I'm not saying that at all.
Pinkie Pie: You're right. It's too obvious.
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry to hijack the RV while you were all sleeping, but I've tried everything except leaving.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... It's possible a snag in the fabric of spacetime could cause a...
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: ...temporal point – i.e., this day – to fold in on itself and thereby repeat.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: You really have done this a lot.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer: Okay, you've made your point! Stop!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] This time loop started because I missed PostCrush. So why didn't it end when I saw them?
Twilight Sparkle: You sure it's only about PostCrush?
Sunset Shimmer: Uh...
Pinkie Pie: I probably ask you this every day, but what did Princess Twilight say when you told her about this?
Sunset Shimmer: The journal! Of course! How did I not try that weeks ago?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] Seriously though, why didn't you? Are you asking yourself, "Self, how do you spend seventeen days with my best friend Pinkie Pie without asking for help until now?"
Sunset Shimmer: Uh...
Twilight Sparkle: Still think this is only about PostCrush?
Applejack: Bad news. Transmission's shot. Repairs ain't gonna be cheap. Tow truck says he'll need cash tomorrow.
Rainbow Dash: [yawns]
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs, sarcastically] Tomorrow? Sure. Tell him I'll give him a million bucks if I see him!
[bird chirping]
Sunset Shimmer: [snoring]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Sunset Shimmer: Huh?
[thud]
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Sunset Shimmer: Ow.
Rainbow Dash: Oops! Heh. Sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.
Sunset Shimmer: No, Rainbow Dash. You won't! Every day you say that, but you never are! Why won't you change?!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Okaaaaay...
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: So you think Princess Twilight can help you with this temporal loop thingy?
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] I sure hope so.
Pinkie Pie: [slurping]
[buzzing]
Princess Twilight Sparkle: Sunset, I've been doing some research, and it looks like you've found another long lost Equestrian artifact.
Sunset Shimmer: Lucky me.
Princess Twilight Sparkle: The Time Twirler. I don't know how it found its way into your world, but when activated, it has the power to loop time. What you're experiencing isn't simply magic run amok or a wish gone awry. Somepony is using the Time Twirler to cause this.
Sunset Shimmer: If we find whoever used the Time Twirler to start the loop, we'll be able to end it for good. Tell the others we've got a new mission.
Rainbow Dash: That was just a little preview of the rad-tacular... [continues under]
Pinkie Pie: Whoever has the Time Twirler is the only person besides you who isn't in the same place doing the same thing every day. Have you noticed anyone who doesn't belong? Anyone out of place? Anyone... evil?!
Sunset Shimmer: I don't think so. How could I? Every day is the same!
[Lyra and Bon Bon]
Every day's the same
Sunset Shimmer: It goes round and round. Wait. What was that?
[Festival Artist]
Round and round and round and round
Round and round and–
Sunset Shimmer: Hey, what are you listening to?
Festival Artist: Meh.
[The Dazzlings]
So ordinary, stuck on repeat
Sunset Shimmer: I think we've got a clue.
[The Dazzlings]
Gotta find the passion, passion, passion
Equestria Girls: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: They must be a last-minute addition!
Sunset Shimmer: Who?
Rainbow Dash: But they lost their voices! They gotta be using magic!
Applejack: That or vocal processing.
Rainbow Dash: They wouldn't! Wait, what am I talking about? Of course they would.
Sunset Shimmer: Who are you talking about?! [gasps]
[The Dazzlings]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, let's find the magic
Sunset Shimmer: The Dazzlings are back?!
[The Dazzlings]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh...
[crowd cheers]
Adagio Dazzle: [sighs] That song's called Find the Magic. [under voice] Human scum.
[microphone feedback]
Sunset Shimmer: Seriously?
Rarity: The chord progression is kind of samey-samey.
Sunset Shimmer: And the Dazzlings are behind the time loop!
Rarity: Still no excuse for lazy songwriting.
Rainbow Dash: So what are we gonna do?
Sunset Shimmer: New mission – we have to get backstage.
Twilight Sparkle: Our backstage passes are only good for day two, and you're not a V.I.P.
Sunset Shimmer: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: You're a V.-important-P. to me.
Sunset Shimmer: The key is getting past him.
Snips: Uh, we just want an autograph.
Snips and Snails: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: Ugh.
Fluttershy: He's terrible.
Rainbow Dash: Yikes.
Rarity: Oh, my.
Pinkie Pie: The weak shall crumble before me! I got this!
Sunset Shimmer: Wait! If you want to help, let me come up with a plan. No distractions, no detours, no... walking off while I'm talking to you.
Pinkie Pie: Last summer, weren't you working at the, um...?
Security Guard: Cat food convention?
Pinkie Pie: [off-sync] Cat food convention? Oh, that's right! Mm-hmm! Uh, you were the guy who...
Security Guard: Yeah. I... got... fired!
Pinkie Pie: Because, mmm... now, what happened again?
Security Guard: I tried taking a kitten home with me, all right? But that's against the rules!
Sunset Shimmer: [groans] If she blows this thing, I'll have to start all over tomorrow!
Pinkie Pie: Was it an orange cat?
Security Guard: Tuxedo! Ask me her name! See what happens!
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: What was her na—?
[snip!]
[door slams]
Pinkie Pie: Ohhh. I guess I don't got this. [whimpers]
Sunset Shimmer: You don't. But together, we do. For a time looper, today's failure is tomorrow's success.
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
[whack!]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Sorry.
Fluttershy: [laughs] Sorry.
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes? Whoa!
[splat!]
[beep]
Adagio Dazzle: [under voice] Human scum.
[microphone feedback]
[crowd cheers]
Snips: Uh, we just want an autograph.
Snips and Snails: [crying]
Security Guard: [gasps]
[soft pop music]
Sunset Shimmer: Say hello to Hattie the kitty cat.
[kitten purrs]
Security Guard: [gasps, tearing up] Hello, Mr. Kitty.
Sunset Shimmer: If you spend all your time keeping people out, how are you ever gonna let anybody in... to your heart?
Security Guard: Oh, gosh... Go ahead and go backstage, the both of you's!
Pinkie Pie: Really? Wow, thanks! Great idea, Sunset!
Sunset Shimmer: We came up with it together.
[click!]
[van door opens]
Sonata Dusk: Ooooh, that was our best show yet!
Aria Blaze: The loop is really working.
Adagio Dazzle: Of course it's working. It was my idea.
Sunset Shimmer: I knew it! I bet they're hiding the Time Twirler somewhere in their tour bus.
Pinkie Pie: Nice thinking. Also, looks more like a tour van to me.
[van door closes]
[van door opens]
Sunset Shimmer: Stay here and stand guard. If you see anyone coming, sound the alarm.
[van door closes]
Pinkie Pie: You got it! No one's gonna get by me! No way, no how! Nuh-uh! Nope! Nah, nah-ah!
Adagio Dazzle: Wait. Did one of you remember to take the bread out of the toaster?
Aria Blaze: It's not my job to not start fires.
Sonata Dusk: [scoffs] How was I supposed to know you can't put tacos in the toaster?
Adagio Dazzle: [groans] You two are so annoying. Let's go.
Pinkie Pie: Keepin' watch. That's what I— [sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gulps, gasps] Puffed Pastry's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros! [whimpers] Now's probably not the best time to go get one. On the other hand, if I get two, then Sunset could have one with me. No! I will not give in! [swoons, slurps] No. No, no, no! [panting] So good... No! No! [whimpers]
Sunset Shimmer: Not here. [groans] Ugh, where is it?
[click!]
Sunset Shimmer: Who leaves toast in a toaster? Honestly.
[van door opens]
Adagio Dazzle: Don't even think about eating our toast, Sunset Shimmer!
Sunset Shimmer: [nervous laugh, sighs] I was wrong. This is the worst possible time for churros.
Adagio Dazzle: What are you doing on our bus?
Sunset Shimmer: Sorry, not sorry, Adagio. But it's time to take this track off repeat. I heard you admit the time loop was your idea.
Adagio Dazzle: Time loop? What? We looped a vocal track.
The Dazzlings: [laughing]
Adagio Dazzle: [gasps] Hey!
Sunset Shimmer: You're telling the truth.
Adagio Dazzle: Of course I am!
Sunset Shimmer: But your song. "Every day is the same".
Adagio Dazzle: That's about being stuck in this miserable human world with no magic or hope of returning to Equestria.
Aria Blaze: And by the way, if there's Equestrian magic afoot around here, we call dibs.
Sunset Shimmer: I thought if anyone would want to be able to redo the day and fix their mistakes, it's you three.
Adagio Dazzle: We made the mistake of using our powers to manipulate Canterlot High School, and we've paid the price for it with our magic.
Sonata Dusk: Unless you count the magic of vocal processing.
Adagio Dazzle: Which I don't! What I'm saying is we already get a do-over with every new day. It's called living life.
Sonata Dusk: You should try it sometime.
The Dazzlings: [laughing]
Sunset Shimmer: I can't!
Aria Blaze: Poor Sunset Shimmer. Are you mad?
Sunset Shimmer: I don't get a new day, okay? I get this day forever! Nothing changes! I can't tell you how sick I am of Pinkie Pie ruining everything by running off to get churros! I hate churros!
Pinkie Pie: Oh. I, uh... just wanted to say the Dazzlings are back, but I see you see they see you seeing them, and you've seen me too, so, um... see ya. [crying] Cool tour bus!
Sunset Shimmer: No, Pinkie! I didn't mean it!
Adagio Dazzle: If the day's always the same, maybe you're the one who needs to change.
[van doors close]
[van drives away]
Pinkie Pie: [crying]
[crowd gasping]
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie, wait up! I'm sorry.
Pinkie Pie: It's okay! Did you convince the Dazzlings to break the time loop? [whimpering]
Sunset Shimmer: No. It wasn't them.
Pinkie Pie: Oh. Well... I'm gonna find a nice line to wait in so I don't ruin it for you again. [sobs] You deserve to have a good day, Sunset. [crying]
Sunset Shimmer: So do you, Pinkie Pie.
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: Starswirled day one! Come and get it!
Sunset Shimmer: Not today!
Applejack: ..."Get your own chicken coop!"
Fluttershy: [spit take, laughs]
Pinkie Pie: What do you call a PostCrush fan with three eyes?
Sunset Shimmer: You call her Pinkie Pie, because you spell your name with three I's!
Fluttershy: Ohhhh. [laughs] Puns.
Sunset Shimmer: In your face, mud!
Twilight Sparkle: Uhhh, you okay?
Sunset Shimmer: Never better.
Pinkie Pie: A line?! Ah! This day's already amazing!
Sunset Shimmer: I know! Pick whichever you want. They're all slow, but security is an art. It can't be rushed.
[beep]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Win a tandem bicycle?!
[zip!]
Applejack: You two have fun now!
Pinkie Pie: All I have to do is guess how many candies are in the jar. And my sugar senses say... three hundred and five!
[buzzer]
Pinkie Pie: Awww.
Sunset Shimmer: Five hundred seventy-two and a half, counting the green jellybean you ate part of in the parking lot.
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
[screech!]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs, gasps]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, Sunset! [laughing]
[camera clicks]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Sunset Shimmer: [whistles]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[splat!]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
[stall door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
Pinkie Pie: This is the best day ever! And now, for the grand finale! Post—! [sniffs] What's that smell?
Sunset Shimmer: You'll see.
Puffed Pastry: Puffed Pastry's exclusive Starswirl cinnamon-swirled churros! Get zem while ze're marginally fresher than a little bit!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] How did you know?!
Sunset Shimmer: [muffled] Two, please.
Pinkie Pie: [sniffs]
Sunset Shimmer: You know, when I did things alone my way, I realized having a perfect day wasn't perfect without... you.
Pinkie Pie: Awwww.
[clang!]
Sunset Shimmer: Ow! Mine's hard as a rock! This is like eating a crowbar.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles] I know! [eating noisily]
Festival Intern: [to Puffed Pastry] Your lousy golf cart broke down on me for the last time! Find someone else to deliver churros backstage to PostCrush, because I quit!
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: See what happens when you embrace the chaos of our friendship?
Sunset Shimmer: This couldn't happen with all the mission-planning in the world.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, I hope they like us! You must've met them on one of the other days. Tell me what happens!
Sunset Shimmer: [laughs] Nope. First time. And I'm glad it's with the other half of my dynamic duo. You ready?
[knocking on door]
[door slides open]
Sunset Shimmer: Special delivery!
Pinkie Pie: We are huge, huge, ginormous fans!
Supernova Zap: Heeeey. The usual delivery guy looks like two girls today.
[thud]
Supernova Zap: I mean, today's the first time we have done this! Yesterday was, um... a different day.
Sunset Shimmer: Today can be a funny thing.
Kiwi Lollipop: Word. Thanks for being fans, but we gotta... you know... get on stage.
Pinkie Pie: Of course! We don't want to keep you. Come on, Sunset.
Sunset Shimmer: But before you go on, at least give me the honor of shaking your hand. As a thank-you for all your music and anything else you might've done to me. I mean, for me.
Kiwi Lollipop: Anything for a fan.
[whoosh!]
Kiwi Lollipop: Tomorrow has to be perfect! We've only got one shot at this!
Supernova Zap: [groans] As if I'm not super-duper aware, K-Lo!
[shimmering sounds]
Supernova Zap: Ooh...
[zap!]
[Kiwi Lollipop]
(Yeah)
[PostCrush]
Be the true, true, true original
Dare to be what you are meant to be
[zap!]
[PostCrush]
Working hard, that's our thing
All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
[zap!]
[PostCrush]
True, true original
True, true original
[zap!]
[crowd cheers]
Kiwi Lollipop: [groans] Your voice? So flat! Ugh! I can't!
Supernova Zap: [groans] Whatever! We can just do it all over again!
[zap!]
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps] You found the Time Twirler! You're the ones causing the time loop!
Supernova Zap: Pause. How did you see my brain?
Kiwi Lollipop: We're gonna loop our show 'til it's perfect! A fangirl like you wouldn't get it.
Supernova Zap: Unless you're such a fangirl, you do get it.
Kiwi Lollipop: You know fans can never get it.
Sunset Shimmer: But I do. I wanted things to go perfectly, too. But now I know they never do.
Supernova Zap: Then we. Stop. Never!
Kiwi Lollipop: And now that we know you're in on our little secret, you'll never set foot inside this festival again.
Sunset Shimmer: Go ahead. Take our pictures and hang them up. Tomorrow morning, they'll all disappear.
Kiwi Lollipop: Ever heard of drawings?
Sunset Shimmer: Everything resets.
Supernova Zap: You don't, and neither do we. Now that I've seen your faces, I'm an art school dropout, and you better believe I can draw your faces so good, guards will ban you at the gate from now until 4eva!
Kiwi Lollipop: 4eva-eva!
Pinkie Pie: No!
Kiwi Lollipop: Yeah, she can.
Supernova Zap: Mmmm-hmmmm. Security! We got a code chartreuse – crazy fan alert!
Sunset Shimmer: How are you gonna let anyone in if you keep kicking people out?!
[door closes]
Sunset Shimmer: Tonight is my last chance to stop this before I get banned for life!
Sunset Shimmer: Think fast, Sunset. Come on, think! Okay... If we climb up this tree, attach a rope there, and swing over and... [sighs] Who am I kidding? I'm done for.
Pinkie Pie: At least we'll be together.
Sunset Shimmer: You know what? That actually makes being trapped at an eternal music festival seem not half bad.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs, sniffs] What's that smell? [sniffs] Could it be? [gasps] Puffed Pastry's exclusive star-crusted, cinnamon-dipped churros!
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, yeah. Um, it was a little too inedible for my taste.
[beat]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: Like eating a crowbar!
Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Churros is magic!
[door opens]
Security Guard: Hey! You two! I remember you.
Sunset Shimmer: You do?
Security Guard: Yeah. You respected my security line earlier today. So many of these kids just don't get it.
Pinkie Pie: We get it!
Security Guard: So I thought, "Hey, self, these gals aren't crazy fans. They're just fans. And they didn't do anything... illegal."
Pinkie Pie: Weren't about to, either!
Security Guard: You're just big fans of PostCrush. And since security is all about karma, I thought it's only right you should be able to see the show.
Sunset Shimmer: Mister, you are the best security guard ever!
Security Guard: Oh, gosh. [chuckles] Go on in!
Sunset Shimmer: Final mission – get the Time Twirler from K-Lo's hair and turn it– twirl it off, or– [groans] Make it not work anymore! Wait.
Pinkie Pie: What's wrong?
Sunset Shimmer: It's just that... I've already seen PostCrush. But if we break the time loop right now, you won't. We're ruining PostCrush's only reunion show.
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] Are you kidding?! They trapped my best friend at a super fun music festival without me for weeks! They are so going down!
Supernova Zap: [sighs] I'm getting tired of living the same day over and over. Can this please be our last performance?
Kiwi Lollipop: We've been over this, Su-Z. We don't stop until we get it perfect.
[boom!]
Pinkie Pie: Sorry to interrupt, buuuut...
Sunset Shimmer: ...you have something that doesn't belong to you.
Supernova Zap: [gasps] Who let you two back in?!
Sunset Shimmer: Give us the Time Twirler now!
Kiwi Lollipop: You wouldn't dare! If you were real fans, you'd want this show to be perfect!
Sunset Shimmer: Eh. Nothing's perfect. Right, Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: Yup! [grunting] You just gotta make the best with what you've got!
[clunk!]
Kiwi Lollipop: [growls]
Supernova Zap: Yah!
Sunset Shimmer: [grunting]
Kiwi Lollipop: Give it back!
Sunset Shimmer and Kiwi Lollipop: [grunting] Whoa!
[bing!]
[whip!]
[clatter!]
Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Kiwi Lollipop, and Supernova Zap: [grunting]
Announcer: Let me hear three big cheers for the two best friends who got back together for one incredible night! PostCruuuuush!
[crowd gasps]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunts]
[magic sounds]
[whoosh!]
Kiwi Lollipop: [sobs] Our legacy is destroyed! Everything was riding on this show! And you ruined it!
[crowd cheers]
Sunset Shimmer: Are you sure about that?
Crowd: [chanting] PostCrush! PostCrush! PostCrush!
Sunset Shimmer: Your fans don't want perfection. They just want to see you rocking out and having fun. Sometimes, the flaws and silly mistakes are what makes the experience perfect. That's the best part about seeing live music. And it's the best part of being friends.
[crowd cheers]
Kiwi Lollipop: Heh. We did use to have a lot of fun.
Supernova Zap: Guess we got so wrapped up in the pressure to be perfect...
Kiwi Lollipop: ...we forgot.
Sunset Shimmer: So what do you say?
Kiwi Lollipop: I don't know. This one's for real.
Supernova Zap: [sighs] Let's do it then. For real. It'll be you and me. Just like old times. Whatever happens happens.
[Kiwi Lollipop]
Always first place, never second best
Only high stakes, we aim to impress
And there's no room for mistakes
Yeah, we're flawless everyday, 'cause
[PostCrush]
We're all about perfection
Projecting that pure reflection
Exceeding your expectations
[Kiwi Lollipop]
(Yeah)
[PostCrush]
Be the true, true, true original
Dare to be what you are meant to be
Working hard, that's our thing
All this way, we're perfect, perfectly true
True, true original
True, true original
True, true original
We're perfect, perfectly true
[Kiwi Lollipop]
Oh-oh, true original
Oh, oh, hey, hey
(We're perfect, perfectly true)
True original
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
[Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie]
But it's not about perfection
Set off in your own direction
Shake off the expectations
[All]
You're the true, true, true original
Dare to be who you are meant to be
Free yourself, do your thing
All your way, you're perfect, you're perfectly you
True, true original
True, true original
True, true original
You're perfect, you're perfectly you!
Crowd: [cheers, chanting] PostCrush! PostCrush! PostCrush!
Sunset Shimmer: I think we just played Starswirled!
Supernova Zap: Yeah, you did!
Kiwi Lollipop: Get over here and take a photo with us!
Sunset Shimmer: Now this is a perfect moment!
Pinkie Pie: [squeals, giggles]
[camera clicks]
[phone buzzes, alarm sounds]
Pinkie Pie: [snoring] Churros... Nom-nom-nom...
Sunset Shimmer: Starswirled day two!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Yes! We did it! [laughs] Woo-hoo! What do you wanna do today, Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: Whatever the day brings us. Yesterday was the longest three weeks of my life!
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [laughing]
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, I guess it would've been!
[credits]

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Holidays Unwrapped


[Angelic]
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
You are my Equestria Girls
You turn the light switch on
It brightens up my day like the sun
When my friends come a-runnin'
You were right all along
That together we're always better
We could turn a sketch into a masterpiece
When you're here, I feel like I'm complete
You are my Equestria Girls!
Pinkie Pie: [snoring]
Rarity: [sleepy mumbling]
Pinkie Pie: [snoring]
[alarm clock beeps]
Equestria Girls: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: I'm awake! I'm awake! What time is it?! Did we sleep through the test?! [snores]
[beeping stops]
Rarity: No, but school starts in thirty minutes!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] How's everybody feeling about our test?
Fluttershy: Even after our all-night study session, I still don't know the difference between vaporization and sublimation.
Applejack: [sighs] Reckon this test is gonna be an abomination.
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe we all fell asleep halfway through our first all-nighter!
Rainbow Dash: Not all of us. While you chumps were studying all night, guess who was coming up with a plan.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: You call that a plan?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Come on! Do I have to spell it out for you?! It's snowing!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Snow day means no school! No school means no test!
Applejack: Uh, it's hardly snowin', Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Come on, guys! You are seriously lacking vision!
Twilight Sparkle: I've got twenty/twenty vision, and I can clearly see it's not snowing enough for the school to be canceled!
Fluttershy: [sighs] Too bad it's not a snow day.
Rainbow Dash: It's not a snow day yet. If we can save a sinking cruise ship and break the laws of time and space to see a concert, I'm pretty sure we can convince Principal Celestia to call a snow day. There's a lot of innocent kids out there who probably didn't study, and they're depending on us! So what do you say? Who's with me?!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know.
Rainbow Dash: Huh? Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... I guess.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Pinkie Pie: [snoring] Ah! Can't believe I almost slept through a montage!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: [eating noisily]
[zip!]
[montage music]
[raccoon growls, hisses]
[bionic clicking]
[slashing sounds]
[thud]
[raccoon growls]
Pinkie Pie: [blows raspberry]
[raccoon snarls]
[ducks quacking]
[thud]
[raccoon growls]
[thud]
[poof!]
[paint splattering]
Fluttershy: [whistling]
[woodpecker sounds]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
[raccoon chitters]
[whoosh!]
Pinkie Pie: [chomps]
[woodpecker sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: Wah!
[thud]
[magic sounds]
[woodpecker sounds]
Fluttershy: Oh! [giggles]
[thunder]
[water rushing]
Sunset Shimmer: It remembers...! [blows]
[sounds overlapping]
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: We did it! We saved the world!
Twilight Sparkle: I got to admit. We really did pull together as a team.
Principal Celestia: [slurps]
Vice Principal Luna: A blizzard? Quite an unforeseen development, I'd say.
Principal Celestia: Indeed.
Vice Principal Luna: Shall we cancel school?
Principal Celestia: Hmmm...
Rainbow Dash: She's making the call!
Mr. Cranky Doodle: Don't bother with the snow day! It's phony baloney! Hope those girls enjoy detention after their test!
Rarity: What's going on?
Applejack: What are they doing?
Rainbow Dash: Quiet, you guys! I'm trying to see!
Principal Celestia: [clears throat]
Equestria Girls: [gulp]
Pinkie Pie: [whimpers] How are we supposed to know how snow fits into the water cycle?!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, what have we been doing for the past two hours?
Rainbow Dash: All part of the plan. What better way to study than a hands-on project?
Pinkie Pie: Ohhhh! I get it! This test relates to our snow day! Which means... potatoes get mashed, then evaporate into potato moisture, where they converge into potato clouds! And when those clouds can't hold the weight, that's where the potato flakes come from! Or is it potato chips? Am I missing something?
Equestria Girls except Pinkie Pie: [laugh]
Rainbow Dash: I didn't sleep.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, your soufflé's looking great, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Chestnut Magnifico, Chumbly-Bonk-Bonk...
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie Pie?
Pinkie Pie: ...DJ Pon-3, Flash Sentry, Fluttershy, Gloriosa Daisy, Juniper Montage, Lily Pad, Lyra Heartstrings, Maud Pie, Muffins...
Sunset Shimmer: [gasps] But you forgot to set the timer!
Pinkie Pie: ...Octavia Melody, Photo Finish, Rainbow Dash— Shhhh! Zecora, Zephyr Breeze, Zipporwhill... Done! I stopped using the timer after I realized a soufflé takes the same amount of time as saying all my friends' names in ABC order!
Sunset Shimmer: You're friends with someone named Chumbly-Bonk-Bonk?
Pinkie Pie: Eh, he's more of a walk-by-what's-up acquaintance, but I needed an extra half-second on the list.
[clang]
Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie: [sniff] Mmm-hmmm!
Sunset Shimmer: So what's this for?
Pinkie Pie: This is a holiday tradition I have with Rarity.
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Every year, I surprise her with a dessert that's as elegant as she is.
[pop!]
[fizzle]
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] And every year, she asks me why it's all deflated.
Sunset Shimmer: What...?
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Soufflés are only good for a little while, and I never get it to her in time.
Pinkie Pie: We have seven minutes to get to Rarity's house before this soufflé frumples into a soggy yuck-bucket!
Sunset Shimmer: Seven minutes? How many friends' names is that?
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] How would I know? Gimme that timer, woman!
[timer ticking]
[zip!]
[zippers zipping]
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, Pinkie? [muffled] Pinkie? Pinkie! The time!
Pinkie Pie: Half the time is gone! Why didn't you say so?!
[whirring]
Pinkie Pie: Now, this year I have it all planned out. The route, the speed, the exact angle I need to hunch over at to protect the soufflé from the wind. There will be no deflation this year! [inhales]
[people shouting]
[door slams]
[snowballs thudding]
[door opens]
Photo Finish: You go!
[thud]
[snowballs thudding]
[smack!]
Bulk Biceps: Aah!
[door closes]
Applejack: Ambuuuuush!
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Whoa! Whoop! Oof! [gasps] Whew.
Fluttershy: [breathes heavily] We've been pinned down for hours with no reinforcements and no handwarmers.
Trixie: [shakily] I'm cold... S-S-So cold...
Fluttershy: Stay with me, Trixie!
Sunset Shimmer: Uh, hold up, everyone! Pinkie Pie and I aren't in the game!
Granny Smith: What game? This here's war! Fire in the hole!
[snowballs splatting]
Sunset Shimmer: One hit, and this thing's finished!
[timer ticking]
Pinkie Pie: [groans] Oh, well. Maybe next year. [whimpers]
[dramatic music]
Sunset Shimmer: [breathing heavily]
Snails: [slightly muffled] Has anyone seen my other boot? I can't find my boot! Got it! [slow scream]
Winona: [barking]
Apple Bloom: [low-pitched scream]
Applejack: [grunts] Real life ain't the same as them silly ol' video games you play, ain't that right, Sunset?!
Sunset Shimmer: Nobody calls Tickle Fruit 2 "silly"!
Applejack: [grunts]
[thud!]
Applejack: [low-pitched scream]
Sunset Shimmer: Rarity is getting that soufflé, and you're gonna get it to her! Flash Sentry! To me! Double time!
Flash Sentry: [panting] Reporting for duty! And seriously, thank you, Sunset! 'Cause, like, I've been wanting to come on one of your adventures for so long 'cause, I mean, you guys do so much cool stuff, and I—
Sunset Shimmer: Flash.
Flash Sentry: I promise I won't mess this opportunity up.
Sunset Shimmer: Whatever! Stop talking! Are you ready?
Flash Sentry: I was born "are you".
[beat]
Flash Sentry: Ready.
[thud]
Flash Sentry: [groans] Well, that was embarrassing. Go on without me! I'll be fine!
Sunset Shimmer: Pinkie! Run! Aah!
Pinkie Pie: Sunset!
[wind whistling]
Pinkie Pie: Sunset!
Sunset Shimmer: [coughs] Tell... Rarity... OW!
Pinkie Pie: You okay?
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, I fell on my keys. Go, go!
Pinkie Pie: Right! Bye!
Sunset Shimmer: All right! Who threw those cheap shots?! Was it you?!
Bulk Biceps: I'm a conscientious objector!
[snowballs thudding]
[timer ringing]
Pinkie Pie: [sobbing] Oh, my sweet little soufflé! All I ever wanted was for you to be torn apart and digested by my friend Rarity so she could feel the same kind of joy she brings to me!
Rarity: [gasps] Is that this years' soufflé?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Rarity?! Where'd you—?! How did you—?! Wait, tell me later! Eat!
Rarity: [chews, gasps] It's heavenly!
Pinkie Pie: YES! I finally did it!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, laughs] Sneak attack! Bet you weren't expecting this! [laughs]
[snowballs thudding]
Rainbow Dash: Aww, no fair! I spent two days as a snowman for that!
[splat]
Rainbow Dash: Aah! Ugh!
Pinkie Pie and Rarity: [laugh]
[thud]
[apples thudding]
[creak]
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for inviting me to your family's holiday party. Would you say the Apple Family Annual Holiday Harvest and Cider-Making Fest is more of a mulling fest or a chilling fest?
Applejack: Don't you fret. It's always a blast. Well, aside from when the Flim Flam brothers make their appearance.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Applejack: They make it a tradition to swindle my family at the Harvest and Cider-Making Party. One year, they took all our ladders in the middle of the party.
[wind whistling]
[bucket clatters]
[rip!]
Applejack: [voiceover] We had to improvise.
[thud]
Applejack: [voiceover] Another year, they de-bottomed our baskets.
Applejack: [voiceover] Last year, they gave Apple Bloom a pet worm.
[pop music]
Applejack: [voiceover] Colonel Wigglesworth and all his friends...
Applejack: ...ate up every apple we had.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] That's horrible. And to think, bow ties used to be a symbol of integrity that only cool people wore.
Applejack: Oh, honey, you're thinkin' of bolo ties. Anyway, this year we're settin' traps for those no-good Flim Flam brothers. If they try anythin' slippery, then things are gonna get sticky.
Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, I promise if you let me come up with a plan, we can out-bamboozle those bamboozlers!
Applejack: [laughs] I was hopin' you'd say that!
Apple Bloom: Yes!
[montage music]
[pig oinks]
[chicken clucks]
[splatting]
[thud]
[poof!]
[poof!]
[creaking]
[poof!]
[whooshing]
[dirt crunching]
[pepper crunching]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... Yuck!
Apple Bloom: Nobody's talkin. They're just standin' around. Guess a cider party ain't much fun without cider.
Applejack: Huh. You sure this is the best way to fool the Flim Flam brothers?
Twilight Sparkle: It is in fact the only way. I triple-checked my game theory matrix. Those no-good grifters are gonna offer a fake diamond for the party's eponymous cider. We'll play along, and by the time they figure out we sold them pepper and salt water, we'll be celebrating our victory with the real cider, which is hidden in here.
Applejack: I hope you're right.
Twilight Sparkle: Trust me.
[door opens]
Flim: Greetings!
Flam: Salutations!
Flim: No tricks this year!
Flam: Cross our hearts of gold!
Flim: Speakin' of gold, how would you feel about selling us your cider? For the generous sum of...
Flam: ...Let's say...
Flim: ...Ohhhh...
Flim and Flam: ...This genuine real-life diamond?
[car trunk closes]
Applejack: Y'all come back next year, ya hear?
[vroom]
[door closes]
Granny Smith: We did it!
Applejack: Yee-haw!
Apple Bloom: That was amazin'!
Applejack: [laughs] Twilight was one step ahead of 'em from start to finish! Let the real Apple Family Annual Holiday Harvest and Cider-Makin' Fest begin!
[beat]
Applejack: Uh-oh.
[dramatic music sting]
Applejack: Where's the real cider? Did they take the real cider?!
Applejack and Apple Bloom: [gasp]
Apple Bloom: Aw, man!
Applejack: That ain't fair! They must've known about the switcheroo and double-reverse switcheroo'd us right back!
Twilight Sparkle: Unless I knew they'd doubled-back and take the real cider using a series of tunnels I dug knowing they'd find them and use them, ensuring that when they emerged right outside the front door, they'd get... trapped in a net!
Applejack: Did you do that?
Twilight Sparkle: You tell me!
[door opens]
Applejack: Nope.
Twilight Sparkle: Uhhh...
Flim: Looking for this?
Flam: Nobody outsmarts the Flim Flam brothers. Oh, thanks for the cider!
[poof!]
Flim: Time to go!
Flam: See you next year!
Flim: Oh, and one more thing...
Flam: Enjoy your pepper water!
Flim and Flam: Yah-dun-dun-dah-dun-dah! Hey!
[vroom]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
Applejack: Guess this party's over.
Twilight Sparkle: Actually... it never got started.
[thud]
Apple Bloom: No wonder Scootaloo was so quiet.
Applejack: But... who... how... how'd you...?
Twilight Sparkle: These clocks are all wrong. The real party doesn't start for another twenty minutes. [slurps] Mmmmm. Delicious!
Applejack: You didn't switch the cider, did ya?
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm.
Granny Smith: [laughs] Surprise me once, shame on you! Surprise me twice, shame on me! Surprise me three times, the fourth surprise is gonna be on you! [laughs] You're the surprised ones! [cackling]
Applejack: Huh. Wow. I... I don't know what to say.
Twilight Sparkle: How about... cheers?
Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: It's winter break, I have hot cocoa, and we're about to bring a giant wagon of toys to little kids! [gasps] This is the best day ever! [sniffs] Is that... a marshmallow? [laughs] Today just got better! [squeals]
Applejack: Mighty kind o' ya to let us keep all these toys in your storage locker, Sunset. I didn't have the space after Granny Smith converted our barn into a hot yoga studio.
Sunset Shimmer: No biggie. Nice to finally use this darn thing. I've been paying monthly, and I never use it.
Twilight Sparkle: What is it, a gym membership? [snorts, laughs] Let's just open the locker.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah... Good idea, Twilight. You know, the Toys for Kids Festival is gonna start soon, so just open this lock with the key. Pinkie?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Oh! I gave the key to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: I gave it to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: And I entrusted it in Chad. Do you have it, Chad?
Chad: [hoots]
Rarity: Oh, right! The key! I put it in a charming little bag, and I gave it to you.
Sunset Shimmer: Yeah... and I left it in my locker.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, no worries. We'll just run down to the school, get the key, and we're back in business.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, school's closed. [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: Like I said, school's closed for winter break.
Rarity: Well, this won't do at all. Without the key, there's no toys. And that means those adorable children at the Toys for Kids Festival are going to open empty boxes!
Rainbow Dash: Ah! That's worse than clothes!
Rarity: [stutters] Excuse me?!
Sunset Shimmer: Not on my watch. I have a plan. The school doors might be locked...
[heist music]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] ...but the air vents aren't.
[creak]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Unfortunately, the hallway has a motion sensor security system, which we'll have to hack into and disable.
[beeping]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] That's where Twilight comes in.
[beeping]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] Once we're in, we'll need a distraction so the janitor doesn't see us.
Chad: [hooting]
Janitor: [screaming]
Sunset Shimmer: [voiceover] I'll grab the key, and we're out.
Sunset Shimmer: Any questions?
Twilight Sparkle: A few. You do know that you're describing breaking and entering, right?
Sunset Shimmer: Well—
Twilight Sparkle: And Fluttershy is friends with animals, sure. She's not going to use them to attack our janitor.
Sunset Shimmer: Not "attack" exactly.
Twilight Sparkle: And finally, climbing through a vent is dangerous, and if a young person saw us doing it, they might try to imitate it and get hurt.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Then I guess it's game over.
Pinkie Pie: Except game not over, 'cause ch-ch-check out my awesome plan! Here's what I'm thinking...
[heist music]
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] First, we bake a dozen pistachio cream cupcakes.
[oven clangs]
Pinkie Pie: [voiceover] Then, we leave them outside Principal Celestia's office to lure her out. Once she's out and while the door's still open, I'll use my licorice whip lasso to catch the door handle. Then, when we get the key... that's where these chocolate-covered crunch nuggets come in. [chomps] Mmm!
Sunset Shimmer: What are those for?
Pinkie Pie: To eat, silly! After all this heisting, we're gonna be hungry! Any questions?
Twilight Sparkle: Actually yeah. So, how are we supposed to bake two dozen cupcakes before the Toys for Kids Festival, hmmm?
Pinkie Pie: Uhhh—
Twilight Sparkle: And I don't think a licorice lasso is a real thing.
Pinkie Pie: Mmmm... it could be.
Twilight Sparkle: And once again, this is trespassing. Come on, someone has to have a plan that's not a crime.
Applejack: [groans] We got powers! I'm sick of not usin' our powers! I wanna use our powers!
[engine revving]
[rock music]
[boom!]
[boom!]
[rumble]
Applejack: Apple... JACK!!!
Rest of Equestria Girls: [cheer]
Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, no.
Sunset Shimmer: You know what? Fine. Why don't you plan the heist?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm...
[tense music]
[beeping]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks again for letting us come in and get Sunset's key, Principal Celestia.
Principal Celestia: Of course, Twilight. You know that all you had to do was knock.
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering] Thank you.
[children laughing]
[crunch!]
Fluttershy: Whew!
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] Well, that's the last gift. Now who wants to go cash in some gift cards?
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie: [cheering]
Sunset Shimmer: Twilight, where's that bag I gave you?
Twilight Sparkle: I left it at school! But I got an idea.
[holiday music]
"Wiz Kid": [laughs]
"Alizarin Bubblegum": Ahhh!
"Celery Stalk": Ahhh!
[whoosh!]
[people gasp]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Sorry I'm late, everybody. Hard to park at the mall at this time of year.
Fluttershy: That's why we carpooled.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Really gotta start checking my texts.
Sunset Shimmer: Why didn't you just run to the mall?
Rainbow Dash: [laughs nervously] I learned the hard way that high velocity and icy sidewalks don't mix well.
Twilight Sparkle: Now that we're all here, who wants to go first?
Rainbow Dash: For what? What are we doing?
Twilight Sparkle: The secret present switcheroo!
Rainbow Dash: That's today?!
Fluttershy: Remember? We pulled names from Applejack's boot when she forgot her hat.
Applejack: You mean my lucky boot.
Rainbow Dash: Uhhhhmmm...
Sunset Shimmer: Didn't get that text either, huh?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah! N-No, yeah, uh, I did! Um, I just have to... go to the bathroom!
[whoosh!]
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: Sorry! I forgot! I can't believe I forgot to get Fluttershy a present! [panting] How am I supposed to find a present in the next five minutes?!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah. I'm at the mall. This is where presents are born. I won't let you down, Fluttershy!
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: A line?!
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! An even longer line?! Really?! Come on!
[whoosh!]
[indistinct chattering]
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
[whoosh!]
[indistinct chattering]
Rainbow Dash: Please no line, please no line, please no line...! What is with the mall being so crowded on the holidays?! Some of us have last-minute shopping to do! [groans]
Zephyr Breeze: Need to cut the line?
Rainbow Dash: Yes! I would do anything—!
[beat]
Rainbow Dash: Undo! It's been less than three seconds! Doesn't count, what I said!
Zephyr Breeze: Rainbow Dash. It's all good, Miss Awesome. Come on in to "Trend of the Line", your home for everything from wi-fi shoelaces to... uh... regular shoes and... smaller shoes? Uh, how's it go again? Come on in to your home for everything from wi-fi shoelaces to, uh... just plain old regular shoes and... Ugh. How's it go again?
Rainbow Dash: You work here?
Zephyr Breeze: [chuckles] Not for long if I can't remember our slogan, but yeah. Since we're buddies, I'll let you jump the line.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, thanks, but I don't know if "buddies" is exactly the word I'd use. [whispering] No! You gotta be nice. But only because you love Fluttershy.
Zephyr Breeze: Fluttershy? Follow me, milady.
Zephyr Breeze: This is so Fluttershy. A high tech basketball hoop. Oooh! It's yells at you to "get good!" when you miss a three-pointer, so you're always motivated to reach your athletic performance goals.
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... I want that, but... no, I don't think Fluttershy would.
Zephyr Breeze: Cool! I knew you'd love it!
Rainbow Dash: No, no, no. I'm not here for me. I need a gift for Fluttershy.
Zephyr Breeze: Got it.
[squeak]
Zephyr Breeze: How 'bout these?
Rainbow Dash: Aah! Ooh. They look expensive.
Zephyr Breeze: They are! And when you wear them, it takes everything you see and turns it into an urban landscape.
[game SFX]
Rainbow Dash: Even forests with cute animals?
Zephyr Breeze: Absolutely nonexistent when you're wearing these bad boys!
Rainbow Dash: Uhhh... nah. I don't think Fluttershy would like that.
Zephyr Breeze: Right, right, right. My bad, my bad. One sec.
[toy squeaking]
Zephyr Breeze: [in singsong] Oh, yoo-hoo! Rainbow Daaaash? [laughs] How about this?
Rainbow Dash: What's that?
Zephyr Breeze: It's for high-fiving when you're really far away or when you're really short. Like... [grunts] ...or like... [grunts] ...or maybe... [grunts] ...oh, come on... [grunts] ...you know? [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: What?! That's not a gift! That's not for anybody! Who would want this?!
Snips: [laughs] Oh, this thing rules! Snails is gonna love it!
Rainbow Dash: These are your suggestions? Do you even know Fluttershy?
Zephyr Breeze: Who?
Rainbow Dash: Your sister!
Zephyr Breeze: I know, I know. I-I was joking. Sorry. Look. I know a gift that will make Fluttershy super-happy. I'll grab it for you now.
Rainbow Dash: [groans]
Zephyr Breeze: Here it is! She'll love it. Instant camera. Around this time last year, Fluttershy's favorite instant camera broke. She really wanted another one. Get someone something they'd never get themselves. Trust me.
Rainbow Dash: Huh. That's actually... a great idea! [laughs] Thanks, Zephyr! You're amazing!
[whoosh!]
Zephyr Breeze: Right on!
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: And who got Fluttershy?
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Standing here the whole time! Here you go, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [gasps] An instant camera? I love it!
Rainbow Dash: You do?
Fluttershy: It's perfect for fun candid photos. Zephyr got one for me last year after my first one broke.
Rainbow Dash: He did?! [groans] I should've known. I'm sorry—
Fluttershy: Now that I have two, I can finally do two-angle instant photo bear cub candids! [giggles] Thank you, Rainbow Dash!
[holiday montage music]
[mini-party cannon squeaks]
[camera clicking]
Snails: You got me the same thing that I got you?!
Snips and Snails: High-five!
Snails: [sobs]
Snips: You... Y-You crying, Snails?
Snails: No. Friendship means never having to say "high-five".
[students conversing]
Applejack: Hey, y'all! Who's ready for a new holiday tradition?
Twilight Sparkle: Technically, it's not a tradition if it's new. Tradition implies something that's been done before and everyone expects it and—
Applejack: How do y'all feel about startin' a holiday tradition?
Rainbow Dash: Sounds cool.
Sunset Shimmer: I'm in.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh!
Rarity: Fabulous!
Twilight Sparkle: Words matter, people.
Applejack: Every year for the Apple Harvest Festival, my family sends a theme photo to our friends. This is when we were pioneers. This year, we were the forest. And last year, we all pretended to be ghosts.
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, there's no one in this picture.
Applejack: Because you can't see ghosts, Twilight. Sheesh.
Rarity: Indeed. We're all familiar with your yearly cards.
Applejack: I was thinkin' we could all get gussied up and do a holiday photo to send out to the whole school!
Rarity: Ohhh... G-Goodie.
Sunset Shimmer: Oh, man, AJ, I would love to, but I have a... a thing. You know, right now. With Hoops Dunkington. You know, Hoops from Crystal Prep. We're gonna get... sandwiches.
Applejack: Heh. You're so funny. Bring him along. He can take the picture.
Sunset Shimmer: Aw, man. He just... canceled.
Applejack: We just gotta figure out what we're all wearin'.
Twilight Sparkle: I could design it!
Rest of Equestria Girls: No!
Rainbow Dash: Remember when you made us be the quadratic equation for Halloween?
Fluttershy: I didn't mind that costume.
Rainbow Dash: 'Cause you got to be a plus or minus. I could barely function. [gasps] Wait. Was that a math pun?! [groans] You're ruining me!
Twilight Sparkle: Ah, don't be such a square.
[rimshot]
Applejack: I already decided on the theme. A cornucopia! You know, them goat horn-shaped basket thingies overflowin' with flowers, fruit, and corn? It's the symbol of the Apple Harvest Festival!
Rarity: I'll take the lead on wardrobe.
Sunset Shimmer: Whaaaat...?
Fluttershy: Really?
Twilight Sparkle: Unexpected.
Rarity: Simply tell us the location of the photo, and we will be there!
Applejack: Well, this is the best news ever! Thanks, y'all. I'll get the auditorium ready for the shoot. See you guys this afternoon!
Rarity: [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer: Rarity, are you okay? I think you just offered to do something that you don't really want to do.
Rarity: No, Sunset. Unfortunately, I offered to do something I have to do. As a good, generous friend, I have to save Applejack's photo shoot. I also have the best taste of anyone involved.
Rainbow Dash: Yup. Knew there was another reason.
Rarity: I know not what a goat horn-shaped basket thing—
Rainbow Dash: Uh, cornucopia?
Rarity: —cornu-huh-duh-buh is, but I can guarantee that I will make us the most fabulous version of that... that... thing that I can. [gasps, moans]
Pinkie Pie: Rarity! Are you okay? What do you need?
Rarity: Take me to the drama department's costume room! Time is running out!
[montage music]
[whooshing]
[birds chirping]
Rarity: I'm going to make this...
Rainbow Dash: Cornucopia!
Rarity: ...so fashionable that people will learn what a...
Rainbow Dash: Cornucopia.
Rarity: ...is.
Sunset Shimmer: So, no appointments this afternoon?
Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing, Sunset?
Sunset Shimmer: Trying to get any appointment I can for this afternoon. But my dentist, doctor, dermatologist, podiatrist, and guitar teacher are all booked.
Twilight Sparkle: You have a podiatrist?
Sunset Shimmer: I can't be in this picture, Twilight. We're gonna look silly.
Rarity: Yes, Sunset. Yes, we are. But we're going to be the most fashionable kind of silly there is. As Applejack's friends, it's the least we can do. For friendship.
Sunset Shimmer: [sighs] For friendship.
[montage music continues]
Twilight Sparkle: I would just like to point out that the quadratic formula was better than this.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, well, I'm feeling a little "husky", so I don't want to "ear" it. [chuckles] Sorry if that joke was "corny", but it's all I have right now!
Fluttershy: Well, I like my outfit. I'm a bunch of grapes.
Rarity: Let's just get to the auditorium before anyone sees us.
[poof!]
Equestria Girls: [grunting]
[school bell rings]
[students conversing]
Rainbow Dash: RUN! [panting] Aah! Oof! [grunting]
[students laughing]
[camera clicks]
Rainbow Dash: Help! I'm stuck!
Rest of Equestria Girls except Pinkie Pie: [yelping]
[students laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Whoa!
Fluttershy: I got you!
Rarity: [crying]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
Rarity: Oof!
[students laughing]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunting] Aah!
[cameras clicking]
Sunset Shimmer: [grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Aah!
[thud]
Sunset Shimmer: Okay, so, now that we are a laughingstock—
Pinkie Pie: Did someone say "stalk"?
Sunset Shimmer: [groans] Let's just get to the picture. Nothing to lose.
Applejack: Looks great, Photo Finish.
[door opens]
Photo Finish: Vat iz dis?
Rarity: Well, we told you we would do this photo shoot of dressing up and w-whatnot, Applejack.
Sunset Shimmer: And we put ourselves through quite the ordeal to get here, amidst laughter and judgment. But it's because we're your friends. And we respect your family traditions. So if we have to look like corn and squash—
Fluttershy: And grapes.
Rarity: Then we're willing to do it. We love you, friend.
Applejack: [laughs] What?! Granny Smith is the one that made us dress up. I was just sayin' we should take a picture with a cornucopia set behind us. Should've known when you said "wardrobe".
Rest of Equestria Girls: [sigh and groan]
Sunset Shimmer: [whispering]
Rarity: Uh, we could change. But it would be a shame to waste the ensemble I made for you.
Applejack: [laughs nervously] Uh...
Applejack: Wishin' y'all a Happy Holidays, from our cornucopia to yours. Love, Applejack.
Sunset Shimmer: Sunset Shimmer.
Rainbow Dash: Rainbow Dash!
Fluttershy: Fluttershy.
Rarity: Rarity.
Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie!
Twilight Sparkle: And Twilight Sparkle!
[camera clicks]
[credits]

My Little Pony The Movie

[opening logos]
[Rachel Platten]
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
See the ponies trottin' down the street
Equestria is where they wanna meet
They all know where they wanna go
And they're trottin' in time
And they're trottin', yeah
They got the beat
They got the beat
They got the beat
Yeah, they got the beat
Go-go music really makes us dance
Do the pony, puts us in a trance
Do the watusi, just give us a chance
That's when we fall in line
'Cause we got the beat
We got the beat
We got the beat
Yeah, we got it!
Spike: 'Scuse me! Dragon on the move! Important princess documents comin' through!
S04E26 Unnamed Earth Mare #1: Whoa! Everypony from Manehattan to Saddle Arabia is here!
Apple Cobbler: I know, filly! We almost couldn't book a stable!
Clear Skies: Princess Twilight must have her hooves full with this giant Festival!
Female Pony 2: Are you kidding?! She's smart and organized and cool under pressure! There's nothing she can't handle!
Twilight Sparkle: Ommmmm... Ohhhhhhh mmmmy goodness, I can't handle this! Ooh! Nothing is working! I just have to get it together! Just go in there! And ask! This is your Friendship Festival! Everypony's happiness rests in your hooves. [facehoofs] Ohhhh!
Spike: Okay, Twilight. Got all your charts and graphs.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, thank goodness you're here, Spike! I'm just so nervous about this meeting!
Spike: Whachoo talkin' 'bout?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I'm about to ask the three most royal princesses of Equestria for a huge favor! What if they reject me?
Spike: It'll be fine. Just remember the most important thing.
Twilight Sparkle: Smile?!
Spike: Eh... no. You're a Princess, too.
Twilight Sparkle: Right! [exhales] Good morning, Princesses. Thank you all for seeing me. I have an idea that I think will make our Friendship Festival the most wonderful celebration Equestria has ever seen!
Princess Celestia: Yes, Twilight! We are very excited!
Princess Cadance: Ponies have been arriving from all over all morning.
Princess Luna: I'd like to think it's to see us, but Songbird Serenade might be the bigger attraction.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, she is the... "mane" event! [giggles] And to make it extra special, I could use your help. Spike?
[whiteboard wheeling in]
Spike: [humming fanfare]
Twilight Sparkle: Songbird Serenade's performance is not scheduled to start until after you begin the sunset. And based on my precise calculation, to get the very best lighting for the stage, Princess Celestia, I was hoping you could make sure the sun stays about 28.1º to the south, and, Princess Luna, if you could raise the moon 62º to the north at the same time, it would reflect the sunlight on the other side and really frame the entire stage perfectly!
Princess Luna: I...
Twilight Sparkle: But wait! There's more! Cadance, if you could use your crystal magic to create an aurora above the stage, the sun and the moon will shine through it and create a truly amazing light show!
Spike: Presenting Songbird Serenade!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Whoa-ho!
Whoa!
[bonk!]
Spike: [weakly] Ta-da...
Princess Luna: So you're saying you want us to move the sun and the moon for the party.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'd do it myself, except I don't have your magic. [snorts]
Princess Celestia: Twilight, each of us uses our powers to serve Equestria in our own way. You are the Princess of Friendship. You already have all the magic you need.
Twilight Sparkle: So... that'd be a no?
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
[zooming]
Rainbow Dash: Sky's cleared and ready for the festival!
Pinkie Pie: [blowing up a balloon]
[balloon squeaking]
[balloon deflating]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[birds whistling in harmony]
[balloon zooming by]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Heads up, Fluttershy! Out of control balloooooon!!
Fluttershy: Hoo. I don't think it's the balloon that's out of control, Pinkie Pie!
Applejack: Hey, y'all!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Applejack: Anypony up for some free samples of my family's apple cider?
Rainbow Dash: Ah! Thank you! Loved it!
Rarity: [humming]
Applejack: Wow, Rarity. It's a fine job you're doin' there. 'Course it might not get done 'til after the concert.
Rarity: Applejack, darling, anypony can do "fine". Twilight asked me, so clearly, she's going for fabulous, and fabulous takes time.
Rainbow Dash: Fabulous takes forever! But "awesome"...
[flies past]
Fluttershy: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: ...can get done in four seconds flat! Faster if I do my sonic rainboom!
Rarity: Aah! Nono, oh no! Don't you dare, Rainbow Dash! It looks wretched enough already.
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, it's fine!
Rarity: If you were raised in a barn! Ahem, no offense, Applejack.
Applejack: None taken. Especially since I wasn't raised in a barn. My family just happens to have a barn. Where I was born. And... spent most of my formative years...
Rainbow Dash: [very quickly] Raised in a barn!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, just two hundred and eighteen things left to do and we're ready.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie: Hey, Twilight!
Rarity: Hello, Spike.
Spike: Uh, hi, Rarity. Heh heh.
Applejack: How'd it go with the other Princesses? They like your idea?
Pinkie Pie: I bet they loved it!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Not exactly. They think I can make today perfect without their magic.
Rarity: And they are absolutely right, darling. This festival is your brilliant idea and we know you're up to the task!
Twilight Sparkle: But what if I'm not?! What if Songbird Serenade hates the stage?! Or nopony makes a new friend?! And if I fail at the festival, then who am I?!
Pinkie Pie: Twilight, look at me! This will be the biggest celebration Equestria has ever seen! As the Princess of Friendship, you cannot fail! This day will define who you are! The pressure is intense! It's almost too much for any single pony to handle! [screams]
[ponies gasp]
Pinkie Pie: But you have us! So stop worrying.
[clink!]
[magic whirs off]
[balloon pops]
Rainbow Dash: [burps]
Twilight Sparkle: Ah!
[Applejack]
It's time to show 'em what you've got
[Rarity]
It's time to go and get things done
[Fluttershy]
But you don't have to do it on your own
[Pinkie Pie]
'Cause you've got friends right here to make it fun
[Mane Five]
We got this, you got this
We got this together
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Spike: Whoa!
[Rainbow Dash]
Sometimes the pressure gets you down
And the clouds are dark and grey
Just kick them off and let the sun shine through
And scary as it seems, more help is on the way
'Cause friends have friends that wanna help out, too
[Rainbow Dash and Wonderbolts]
We got this, you got this
We got this together
[Crowd]
It's the Festival of Friendship
And we can get it done
A festival that they won't forget
A party to be proud of
A day of games and fun
Just you wait and see
A magic day in perfect harmony
[Fluttershy]
You got this
[Bird]
[whistles melody]
[Fluttershy and bird whistle]
We got this together
[Applejack]
With friends and family, you are never alone
If you need help, we've got your back
You can be honest, let your problems be known
[Applejack and Apple family]
'Cause you got us to pick up the slack
We got this
[Big McIntosh]
Eeyup!
[Apple family]
We got this together
[Rarity]
Pay attention to the details
Every gem even-spaced
Make the colors perfect
[Spike]
Takin' one or two to taste
[Rarity]
Inside and out, beautiful throughout
Generosity is what we're all about
[Spike]
[mouthful] You got this
[Rarity]
You got this
[Rarity and Spike]
We got this together
[Twilight Sparkle]
Today needs to be perfect, it all comes down to me
I don't know if I'm ready
For all the things they need me to be
I am the Princess of Friendship
But that is more than just a crown
It's a promise to bring ponies together
And never let anypony down
[Pinkie Pie]
We've got an awful lot to bake
Each pony needs a piece of cake
Oh, wait! There's something better we can do
We're gonna need some more supplies
To make a really big surprise
She'll be so shocked—she's sure to love it, too!
You got this!
We got this together!
[All]
It's the Festival of Friendship
Together we are one
A day we will never forget
And now everything is ready
So when the day is done
[Rainbow Dash]
The weather
[Applejack]
The banquet
[Rarity]
The style
[Fluttershy]
And music
[All]
All will be in perfect harmony!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, yells, groans]
[ponies gasping]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: Oopsie! Guess my easy bake confetti cake cannon needs a little bit more fine tuning!
Twilight Sparkle: [nickers] Hmmm...
Code Red: Songbird Serenade? Is it really her? It is, it is!
Songbird Serenade: Hiya. I'm lookin' for the pony in charge?
[camera flashing]
Songbird Serenade: I need to set up for my sound check.
Twilight Sparkle: Ms. Songbird Serenade? Um, I was just going to check on you. [laughs nervously] I'm Princess Twilight, and sorry about the mess. I'm usually not so...
[ponies gasping]
Female pony: Oh! How embarrassing!
Songbird Serenade: Caked in cake?
Twilight Sparkle: Heh heh.
Vinny: You have visual on buttercream?
Whinnyfield: Visual confirmed. Go for cleanup.
[thunder]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Storm clouds? I ordered perfect weather! Rainbow Dash?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh... I... don't think those are storm clouds.
[ominous music]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I bet those are the clowns I ordered!
[crumbling]
[balloons deflate]
Pinkie Pie: ...Or definitely not the clowns I ordered.
[balloon deflates]
[ponies gasp]
Party Favor: Brian, no!
Grubber: [breathing and grunting]
[microphone feedback]
Grubber: [clears throat, voice echoing] Ponieth of Equethtria, we come on behalf of the fearsome, the powerful, the almighty...Thtorm King!
[ponies cowering and whispering]
Female pony: This is terrible!
Grubber: And now, to deliver the evil, evil methage, put your hooveth together for Commander Tempeeeetht!
[sparking]
Twilight Sparkle: Is that a... unicorn?
Spike: I think so, but what happened to her horn?
Princess Celestia: "Tempest" is it? How may we help you?
Tempest Shadow: Oh, I'm so glad you asked. How about we start with your complete and total surrender?
Twilight Sparkle: Hi there. Princess of Friendship. Not exactly sure what's going on, but I know we can talk things out.
Tempest Shadow: Oh, goody. All four Princesses. Here's the deal, ladies. I need your magic. Give it up nicely, please, or we make it difficult for everyone!
Princess Luna: And why should we cower before you? There's one of you and hundreds of us.
Tempest Shadow: [chuckles] I was hoping you'd choose "difficult".
[storm creatures growl]
[airships hovering]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Princess Cadance: [gasps]
[storm creatures roar]
[ponies screaming]
Tempest Shadow: [grunts]
Princess Cadance: [grunts, screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Princess Celestia: Cadance!
Princess Cadance: [gasps] I can't... stop it!
Tempest Shadow: [grunts]
Princess Celestia: Luna, quick! Go south beyond the Badlands!
Princess Luna: Hmph!
Tempest Shadow: [grunts]
Princess Celestia: Seek help from the Queen of the Hippo— [screams]
Princess Luna: [gasps, grunts, yelps]
Twilight Sparkle: Luna!
Tempest Shadow: [chuckles]
Rainbow Dash: Twilight!
Tempest Shadow: [chuckles] Easy as pie.
Grubber: Oh, I love pie. Oh, you totally got the latht Printheth!
Tempest Shadow: That's not the Princess! Grubber, get her now!
Grubber: Guyth, we gotta get the Princess!
[clatter]
Applejack: Over here, y'all!
Twilight Sparkle: Come on!
Mane Six: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
[bridge crumbles]
Mane Six: [scream]
[splash!]
Mane Six: [gasp for air, scream]
[music grows intense]
[music becomes quieter]
Grubber: Which one of you guyth ith goin' down there?
[storm creatures growl]
Grubber: [sighs] I would, but I jutht had a hearty meal, and I will think and I will thide-cramp. I'm very big-boned. I think quick.
[water flowing]
Rarity: [catching her breath]
Applejack: Everypony okay?
Rarity: I think my bottom's on backward.
Pinkie Pie: We just got our cupcakes handed to us by the worst party crasher ever!
Rainbow Dash: We gotta go back there and fight!
Spike: Well, you saw the size of those goons. You seriously wanna go back?
Applejack: So now what? We can't hide here forever. And let's be honest, we can't go back. Look at what they did to the Princesses. We gotta keep them from Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: The Queen.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, the Queen! Uh, what queen?
Twilight Sparkle: Celestia told Luna to find the Queen of the... "Hippos". Luna can't, so I have to.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, hippos? Seriously?
Pinkie Pie: I've heard they're surprisingly graceful for their size. Huh, but they're always hungry.
Spike: Hungry?
Applejack: Hippos?
Twilight Sparkle: They're somewhere south, past the Badlands.
Fluttershy: That means we'll have to... leave Equestria. Oh!
Rarity: I'm not even packed!
Twilight Sparkle: I understand you're scared, and nopony else has to go. But I have to find this queen. She might be our only hope.
[music]
Rainbow Dash: Well, you're not getting all the glory. We're in this together.
Applejack: We got your back.
Pinkie Pie: Indeedy!
Rarity: I am ready to save Equestria!
Fluttershy: Yay.
Spike: We're all behind you, Twilight.
Pinkie Pie: Let's go find this hippo!
Spike: Uh, south?
Pinkie Pie: Hehe! Whee! [giggles] Whee! Boingy-boingy-boingy-boingy-boingy! Anypony up for a game of "I Spy"?
All but Pinkie Pie: [groan]
Pinkie Pie: No, really! Come on! I spy with my little eye something that is orange. No takers? It's you, Applejack! [giggles]
[storm creatures grunting]
Tempest Shadow: All this power wasted on parties when there are far greater uses.
[ringtone]
Tempest Shadow: Well? Answer it!
[dial-up modem noises]
The Storm King: Where am I supposed to be looking? I never understand how this spell works. Tempest!
Tempest Shadow: Over here, Your Excellency.
The Storm King: Where?
Tempest Shadow: Over here.
The Storm King: Huh?
Tempest Shadow: No. No, right. Look right.
The Storm King: My right?
Tempest Shadow: Yep.
The Storm King: Oh. There you are. Here's the deal. I'm in the middle of a big re-brand here. "The Storm King" is tracking well as "intensely intimidating", but you know what? I need to back it up. You know what I need to back it up with? A storm! That would be great! You promised me magic that could control the elements, and right now, I'm holding a what? A branch. A twig. Bleh!
Tempest Shadow: Uh, that would be the Staff of Sacanas, Your Excellency, and it will...
The Storm King: Mm-hmm?
Tempest Shadow: ...channel the magic of the four rulers of this land.
The Storm King: Mm-hmmmm?
Tempest Shadow: You'll soon have the power of a hundred armies.
The Storm King: So that would be a yes on your locking down the four Pegacornicuseses, or whatever you call them?
Tempest Shadow: Give me three days. I'll have everything ready for your arrival.
The Storm King: [ominous] Remember, Tempest. Only I have the power to make you whole. Make this twig work, and you'll get your reward. Fail me, and your horn won't be the only thing that's broken.
Tempest Shadow: It won't be a problem.
The Storm King: [upbeat] Great! [warbling] I'm ready to power up, crash and bash, and be the biggest, baddest bugaloooooo...
[beat]
Grubber: Thorry, bad thpell thervice. You want me to call him back?
Tempest Shadow: Do you have the Princess?
Grubber: Well, uh, funny thtory. It kinda theemth like she... she might've like, you know, got away... a little bit. I know you're dithappointed, but I got one word for you: "thpongecake".
[zap]
Grubber: [screams]
Tempest Shadow: I need all four for the staff to work.
Grubber: Hey, I know! I want the Thtorm King to fix that crazy horn as badly as you do. It lookth like a crackly chipped tooth on the top of your head. And you know you don't look good in hatth.
Tempest Shadow: That Princess is not gonna keep me from getting my horn back! Prepare my ship!
Grubber: Ihhh!
Tempest Shadow: Please. How far could one little pony get on her own?
[slide guitar sting]
Pinkie Pie: [panting] There's sand in my... everything... Heh... Saving... Equestria... [demented laugh] Oh! Look! Maybe this guy knows which way to go! What's that, friend? We're lost? [demented laugh, coughs, faints]
Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Spike: [panting]
Spike: We could be going in... circles! Endless... sand... [inhales] Nothin' for miles... but sand... [breathes] and this rock... [coughs] and this cactus... [breathes] and this roooooooooaaaaaad.... [breathes, faints, breathes] ...this rooooooad....
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm? A road? Where there's a road, there's a... [gasps]
Spike: Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Cool!
Applejack: What is that?
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! A city! [scoffs] We are doing it, you guys!
Rarity: You know what they say: where there's a city, there's a spa!
Rainbow Dash: Who says that?
Applejack: 'Case you forgot, we're on a mission to save Equestria.
Rarity: I can multitask.
[bird squawking]
Pig Creature 1: Don't worry, little one, we'll let ya go!
Pig Creature 2: To the highest bidder!
Pig Creatures: [laugh]
Pig Creature 1: Nice!
[birds squawking]
Vendor 1: Storm King bobbleheads!
Vendor 2: Ooh. Hey! You with the horn, you selling?
Fluttershy: Oh...
[birds squawking loudly]
Fluttershy: Ooh!
Twilight Sparkle: Hi there! Ooh, I'm sorry. Here. Lemme help you with that.
Pushkin: Hey! No magic around my merchandise!
Mane Six: [scream]
Capper: Hmmm... Very interesting...
Twilight Sparkle: Okay. We just gotta stick together. Be careful who you talk to. And try to blend in.
Pinkie Pie: Can I have your attention please?!
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Pinkie Pie: Can anypony take us to the Queen of the Hippos?!
Mori: You want something? You gotta give something!
Pinkie Pie: Well, how about a big warm hug from a grateful pony friend?
[honk]
Pinkie Pie: How about this comb that I've never used? A picture of my sister Maud? This breath mint? Seriously, buddy. Help me help you.
Pig Creature 1: [belches]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you can't just take off! [through clenched teeth] And you don't need to announce to every...
Pinkie Pie: Relax, Twilight! I totally got this!
Louise: How much for the giant gecko?
Mane Six: Huh?
Spike: Who you callin' a gecko?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Spike isn't for sale.
Vera: I want that fancy purple hair! I'll give ya two storm bucks for it!
Rarity: Two storm bucks?! It's worth more than that!
Twilight Sparkle: Heh?
[various creatures bidding]
Deer Creature: Gimme that pink one!
Pig Creature 1: I'll take the blue one!
Pig Creature 2: No! I want the blue one!
Louise: I need that lizard!
Creature 1: I'll take that picture of your sister!
Deer Creature: I want all seven for my collection!
Capper: Back up, everyone! Back it up! Y'all in some serious danger! Now you didn't touch any of them, did you? Just look at all those colors! You think that's natural? They're infected with "pastelis coloritis".
[creatures gasping]
Applejack: Now, you listen here, fella, there ain't—
Capper: Don't worry, don't worry, as long as you're not covered in purple splotches, you'll be fine. Uh-oh.
Mori: [gasps] What do I do?!
Capper: Enjoy your last moments and don't touch anyone. Because parts will fall off.
Mori: [screams] Me parts!
Vera: [gasps]
Capper: Well, all right. [purrs]
Rainbow Dash: You are awesome!
Capper: Mm-hm.
Rarity: And quite charming. [giggles]
Spike: Huh!
Capper: Capper's the name. Charming's my game. So... to the Hippos, then?
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know if we should trust him.
Pinkie Pie: We could definitely use a friend out here!
Capper: You know what? Little Cotton Candy Hair is right. And, if I do say so myself...
[Capper]
This town is not a nice place
For little fillies all alone
There are lots of twists and corners
That could lead to the unknown
Let me guide your way
And I'll be sure to help you through
You could really use a friend out here
And luckily for you...
I'm the friend that you need
When you're lost and don't know what to do
I'm your pal, your amigo
Useful and resourceful, too
And my help, you'll concede
Is a plus guaranteed
You can call and I'll come running
Just follow my lead
'Cause I'm the friend you need!
[Klugetown Wool-Seller]
He's a friend
Scaly Klugetowner: Quite a friend!
[Klugetowners]
He's a friend indeed!
[chomp]
[Capper]
You need a bud to spot the danger
A pal to stop the creep
A chum and not a stranger to assist
You need a bro who is cunning
That can help you take the leap
A friend who knows what's lying in the mist
Don't fear these darkened alleys
They're scary, yes, I know
Why, you could use a friend
To protect you wherever you go
And such a dazzling beauty
Covered in dirt and muck
But now your fate is changing
Now you are in luck
'Cause I'm the friend that you need
When you're lost and don't know what to do
I'm your pal, your amigo
Lookin' out for friends like you
And my help, you'll concede
Is a plus guaranteed
Just call and I'll come running
We'll say it's agreed...
[to Needy] Here. Tell Verko, "My place, twenty minutes." I've got something that will "magically" erase all my debt.
'Cause I'm the friend you need!
[Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash]
He's a friend
Rarity: Quite a friend!
[Ponies except Twilight Sparkle]
He's a friend indeed!
Capper: Welcome, my little ponies, to my little manor.
Rarity: Ooh! A sort of a roco-hobo-Bohemian hodgepodge.
Capper: Apologies for the state of my litter box. I wasn't expecting guests.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! So many fun breakables!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Applejack: [chuckles]
Capper: Y'all sure y'all want the Hippos?
Pinkie Pie: Yessirree! The Queen of the Hippos!
Capper: Not like the Queen of the Lions, or Tigers, or Bears?
Fluttershy: Oh, my!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
[storm creature grunting]
Vera: [screaming]
Toothy Klugetowner: Please! Please! I don't know anything! [screams]
Grubber: You really think the ponieth got thith far?
Tempest Shadow: [sniffs] Oh, they're here. Attention! A little purple pony passed this way. Tell me where she is...
Grubber: ...or thumpin real bad'th gonna happen. [squeaks]
Mori: You think we're gonna fall for this again? I don't know what kinda scam you're workin' with Capper and the rest of your friends, but--
Tempest Shadow: "Friends?"
Mori: Poison or no poison, you're gonna pay!
Tempest Shadow: [grunts]
Mori: [groans]
Grubber: Ohhhh, Fishman juth got dropped!
Tempest Shadow: Now...
Mori: Ihhhh...
Tempest Shadow: ...about this... "Capper"...
[horn charges up]
["The Girl from Ipanema" playing]
[Mane Six and Capper laughing]
Capper: Stop playin' me! A sonic rainboom? That's not a real thang! Is that a real thing?
Rainbow Dash: I'll show ya!
Capper: Naw-naw-naw, I don't need you sonic "rainbooming" up in my place, thank you very much. Whoa, hey, hold up now. Whoa.
Rarity: Here you go. I do apologize. If we were back home, I could've done something truly fabulous.
Capper: Okay... What's the catch?
Rarity: Nothing. After all that you've done for us, consider it a "thank you".
Capper: Oh. Uh, don't thank me. Really.
Twilight Sparkle: Guys! We've been looking for the wrong queen! We don't need the Queen of the Hippos! We need the Queen of the Hippogriffs! Part pony, part eagle!
Capper: Oh! Oh, the Hippogriffs! Now, the trouble with that is... no one knows... where they are...
Twilight Sparkle: Says here they're on the top of Mount Aris!
Pinkie Pie: You mean the mountain right outside the window?
Capper: Objects in windows may be less mountainous than they appear. Heh heh heh...
Twilight Sparkle: Let's go, everypony.
Capper: [gasps] Wait! [cat yowl] You can't—you can't make it by y'allselves. You need an airship! And lucky for you, I can get you a ride.
Twilight Sparkle: I think we can get there on our own.
[door opens]
Verko: Here's Verko! [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Verko: These ponies better shoot rainbow lasers out their eyes if they're gonna settle your debt! Brought the big cage. Let's load 'em up!
Mane Six: [gasp]
Rarity: You were... You were going to sell us?
Twilight Sparkle: I knew it! We gotta get outta here!
Tempest Shadow: [chuckles evilly]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Tempest Shadow: Silly little ponies.
Twilight Sparkle: Tempest!
Spike: [screams]
Fluttershy: [squeaks]
Tempest Shadow: [resumes chuckling] Trusting strangers? Big mistake. Big...
Grubber: Huge!
Verko: Hoo-hoo! My goodness! Well, look at you! With your scary broken horn and scowly eyes. What tricks do you know, my little pony-wony?
[zap!]
Verko: [weakly] Not bad... [faints]
Twilight Sparkle: Go! Go!
Tempest Shadow: Get her now!
Grubber: You gonna be thcared now, ponieth!
Mane Six: [panting]
[storm creatures grunting]
Mane Six: [screaming and grunting]
[crash]
Mane Six: [screaming]
Applejack: I'm... gonna... be... sick!
Mane Six: [screaming and panting]
[crumbling]
Twilight Sparkle: We have to get there! To the docks! Hurry!
Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Applejack: That's it.
Rarity: [yelps]
Applejack: Don't look down now!
Spike: [yells]
Pinkie Pie: Yay!
Spike: Dah!
Pinkie Pie: Woo! [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [pants, grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Best... escape... plan... ever!
Twilight Sparkle: WHAT?!?! Thwa!
Spike: Shh!
Boyle: Did you hear something?
Squabble: [squawks]
Boyle: Eh, probably just the rats. If we find 'em, we'll eat 'em.
Rarity: Rats?
[storm creatures growling]
Capper: [grunts]
Tempest Shadow: Now... where are they going?
[horn charges up]
Capper: Okay. No need for violence. Uh, they're headed...
[button sparkles]
[beat]
Capper: They headed east! Yeah, to... to Black Skull Island. So, uh, glad I could be of service to His Majesty, the Storm King. I'll just be on my way. [yowls]
Tempest Shadow: When I get my Princess. Until then, your fate is still... up in the air.
Grubber: [laughs] Oh, you're gonna go in the thkiff! Which ith a boat! Thpethifically, a air-boat! [laughs]
Capper: [yowls]
Grubber: We make a great team. I love it how you thaid hith fate wuth "up in the air", and then I thaid, "you're gonna be in the air on an air-boat!"
[ship horn blows]
[ship bell clangs]
Boyle: [belches and scratches]
Rainbow Dash: Blugh!
Applejack: Whadaya think, Twilight? Should we just... ask 'em to take us?
Twilight Sparkle: Last time we trusted somepony, he tried to sell us!
Mane Six: [gasp]
Boyle: Hey, guys! Come check this out!
Mullet: Looks like a pack of stowaways.
Lix Spittle: What are we s'posed to do with 'em?
Squabble: [squawks]
Boyle: I think we tie 'em up!
Applejack: [gasps]
Lix Spittle: [squawks] We clip their wings!
Rainbow Dash: [gasps]
Mullet: Nah. We scar 'em...
Rarity: [yelps]
Mullet: ...emotionally!
Fluttershy: [sobs]
Mullet: Wai-wai-wai-wait. What say the book, Captain Celaeno?
Captain Celaeno: Storm King's rule book says, "Throw them overboard."
Mane Six: Huh?
[parrots grunting]
[union whistle blows]
Captain Celaeno: All right! That's lunch!
[splut]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
[munching]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa whoa whoa! So you were about to toss us overboard and you stopped for a lunch break?
Boyle: Storm King only allows one break a day for meals, then it's back to hauling goods.
Spike: So you're delivery guys?
Captain Celaeno: And gals. These uniforms aren't exactly doing us any favors.
Twilight Sparkle: Then can you deliver us to Mount Aris?
Captain Celaeno: Sorry. We do what the Storm King orders or we suffer his wrath.
Twilight Sparkle: Right. Still going overboard.
Lix Spittle: Eh, it's nothing personal. Pudding?
Rarity: There's pudding?
[splut]
Rarity: Oh.
Rainbow Dash: You weren't always delivery birds, were you? What about before the Storm King?
Captain Celaeno: Yeah. We used to be much more adventurous.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I met that guy in the desert!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! You used to be pirates?!
Mullet: Um, we prefer the term "swashbuckling treasure hunters".
Rainbow Dash: So... pirates.
Squabble: [squawks]
Rainbow Dash: You birds have a choice to make. You could let some cloven-hoofed Storm King tell you how to live your lives, or...
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: ...you could be awesome again!
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, this really isn't a good time for a—
[Rainbow Dash]
I know the world can get you down
Twilight Sparkle: —song.
[Rainbow Dash]
Things don't work out quite the way that you thought
Feeling like all your best days are done
Your fears and doubts are all you've got
But there's a light shining deep inside
Beneath those fears and doubts, so just squash 'em
And let it shine for all the world to see
That it is time, yeah, time to be awesome
[Ponies]
Ah, ah, ah-ah, awesome!
It's time to be so awesome!
Ah, ah, ah-ah, awesome!
It's time to be so awesome!
[Captain Celaeno]
You've no idea how hard it's been
[Ponies]
(It's time to be awesome!)
[Captain Celaeno]
This dull routine we've been forced to do
[Rainbow Dash]
Don't let them rob you of who you are
Be awesome, it's all up to you
[Captain Celaeno]
I feel the light stirring deep inside
It's like a tale still yet to be told
[Ponies]
(It's time to be awesome!)
[Rainbow Dash and Captain Celaeno]
And now it's time to break the shackles free
And start living like the brave and the bold!
[All]
It's time to be awesome!
Let loose, be true, so awesome!
It's time to be awesome!
Go big, be you, so awesome!
[Mullet]
We used to soar through the clouds in the skies
[Lix Spittle]
Elaborate schemes we would love to devise
[Boyle]
We rescued our treasure and stored it away
[Captain Celaeno]
Saving those gemstones for a rainy day
[All]
We see that light filling up our skies
[Rainbow Dash]
So take the Storm King's orders and toss 'em
[All]
'Cause it's the time to let our colors fly
[Captain Celaeno]
Hey, scallywags, it's time to be awesome!
[All]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
[instrumental continues]
Captain Celaeno: Come on! Let's show these little ponies how it's done!
Mane Six except Twilight: [oohing and ahing]
Rainbow Dash: Awesome! I knew you had it in ya! And now for the finishing touch!
Pinkie Pie: Rainboom! Rainboom! Rainboom! Rainboom!
Twilight Sparkle: No no no no no! No!
[sonic rainboom]
Rainbow Dash: Aw, yeah! [laughs]
Captain Celaeno: Wow!
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh!
Grubber: [slurping] Huh? Huh? Looka that rainbow! Looka that rainbow! Whoa, that'th so cool!
Tempest Shadow: Yeah. Of them to alert us. Funny, though. [to Capper] They don't seem to be heading to Black Skull Island.
Capper: Like "ha ha" funny or... ha ha...
Grubber: [yells]
[airship backfiring]
[swords clanging]
Captain Celaeno: Yeah! Ha ha!
Rainbow Dash: Nice!
Captain Celaeno: [laughs]
Squabble: [squawking]
[bell ringing]
Captain Celaeno: Storm guards! Looks like they found you!
Twilight Sparkle: Tempest!
Captain Celaeno: Secure the rigging! Lock down the cargo! Everyone, prepare to be boarded!
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness!
Rainbow Dash: Ya think she saw my sonic rainboom?
Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding me?!?!
[thud!]
[pirates yelping]
Mane Six: [scream]
Spike: Whoa!
Grubber: [grunts]
[storm creatures grunt]
Grubber: [chomps]
Tempest Shadow: Where is the Pony Princess?
Captain Celaeno: "Princess"? Prin-Cess, Prin-Cess... Nope. All we're hauling is Storm King merchandise.
Squabble: [squawks]
Tempest Shadow: You do realize that if you were to shelter fugitives, the Storm King would be quite... explosive.
Captain Celaeno: [gulps]
Twilight Sparkle: [whispering loudly] We have to get off this ship before they tell Tempest we're here!
Rainbow Dash: [whispering loudly] We helped them get their mojo back! They're not gonna give us up!
Rarity: [breathes loudly]
Fluttershy: [shivers]
Applejack: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[crash!]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[woodwinds]
Twilight Sparkle: I've got this!
Tempest Shadow: Now, I'm gonna count to three, and if you don't tell me where they are, your ship is going down. One...
Twilight Sparkle: Hold this!
Rainbow Dash: What are you doing?!
Tempest Shadow: ...two...
Grubber: Oh, thith is inteeenth!
Tempest Shadow: Three!
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Tempest Shadow: What?
Captain Celaeno: [gasps]
Rarity: Oh, for Celestia's sake!!!
Pinkie Pie: [screams, laughs] Whee!
Fluttershy: [yells] I can't look!
Rarity: [screams] Ooh! [resumes screaming] Huh?
Fluttershy: Ooh!
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Applejack: What in the hay is she up to?
[strings and brass building up]
Spike: [yelps] Huh? [breathes fire]
Mane Six: [cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Whee-hee-hee!
Mane Six: [sighing]
Rarity: Thank goodness.
Applejack: Phee-yew! Quick thinkin', Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Yahoo! Ha ha!
Pinkie Pie: That was fun! Can we do it again?
Rainbow Dash: Next stop, Mount Aris!
Twilight Sparkle: We're home free!
Mane Six: [cheering]
[storm creatures grunting]
Grubber: There'th no ponieth. But I found thith. It'th a... kind of a cupcake... with thprinkleth... Oh, yeah, and I found thith, too.
Tempest Shadow: Huh.
Grubber: Wow, this is a real artitht!
Tempest Shadow: Looks like they're heading to Mount Aris.
Capper: Really? [stammering and laughing nervously] Mou- Mount Aris? I... Well, that's my mis— I didn't know that... Mount Ari... My bad, I didn't... That's my... I'm sorry, I'm very very sorry.
Tempest Shadow: Now, about your betrayal...
[zap]
[fireworks]
[splashes]
[waves crashing]
Rarity: We had to crash the balloon at the bottom of the mountain! That's it! I simply... cannot... even! I have nothing! The bad guys have won! I'm so sorryyyyyyyy-y-y-y!
Rainbow Dash: We're almost there!
Rarity: [growls] Will you stop saying that?!
Rainbow Dash: No, really! We're actually here!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] This is it!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh!
Applejack: Well, I'll be. [laughs] Hippogriffs, here we come!
Rarity: [sighs] Time to rest my hooves!
[quiet strings and woodwinds]
Rarity: Are we sure this is the right place?
Applejack: Hello?! Is anypony home?!
Pinkie Pie: No Hippogriffies here! Or here! Or here! Or here or here or here! Waaaaaiiit! Nope! This place is emp-ty!
Twilight Sparkle: But... Celestia... The map. They have to be here.
Spike: Something bad happened here. Something that turned this whole place into a ghost town.
Fluttershy: A g-g-g-g-ghost town?!
[distant humming]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] It's coming from over there!
[humming continues to grow louder]
[crumbles]
Princess Skystar: [gasps] What was that?!
[splash!]
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Wait up! Cannonball!
[splash!]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: [sputters] She's gone!
[water flushing]
Twilight Sparkle: Now what?
[bubbles]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
Mane Six: [scream]
Rarity: Oh, boy. I hate epic adventures.
Mane Six: [screaming, trying to talk]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps for air]
Mane Six: [gasping for air]
Pinkie Pie: Way to leave it to the last minute, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't make these bubbles!
Fluttershy: Then [pants] who did?
[something swimming past]
Mane Six: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Hello? We're looking for the Hippogriffs.
Princess Skystar: How do I know I can trust you?
Twilight Sparkle: Please. The Storm King invaded our land. And we need their help.
Princess Skystar: The Storm King?! I'm so glad I saved you guys! I'm totally taking you to my mom!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Does your mother know where they are?
Princess Skystar: Oho! [singsongy] She might have an idea! [giggles]
Twilight Sparkle: Hoo-hoo!
[bubbles]
Princess Skystar: We're almost there!
[choir and orchestra playing]
Mane Six and Spike: Wow!
[choir and orchestra continue]
Princess Skystar: Mother, look what I found!
Queen Novo: Is it another shell?
Princess Skystar: Mm-mm.
Queen Novo: Because I am telling you if it is another shell, I am— [gasps loudly] Princess Skystar, whatta you done?! You know surface dwellers are forbidden here! Guards!
[guards grunting]
Mane Six: [gasp]
Princess Skystar: No no n-no! M-M-Mom, please! It is so not like that! The Storm King is trying to destroy their home, too!
Twilight Sparkle: We need to find the Hippogriffs. Do you know what happened to them?
Queen Novo: Well, of course I know. I'm the queen. I know everything.
Princess Skystar: Oh, oh, it's such a good story!
Queen Novo: Don't you dare tell them!
Princess Skystar: Once upon a time, like, a while ago, the Hippogriffs did live on Mount Aris.
Mane Six: Oooh!
Queen Novo: Did I not say don't tell them? But hey, I'm just the queen. Don't mind me.
Princess Skystar: Fine! I can't tell you! But if I could tell you, I'd say that that horned beast did show up to steal their magic!
Queen Novo: Seriously?
Princess Skystar: But, to keep it out of his clutches, their brave and majestic leader, Queen Novo, hid them deep underwater where he could never go! We are... Well, we were the Hippogriffs! Ta-da! [laughs] [whispering] But I totally did not tell you that!
Queen Novo: Well, I guess the pearl is out the oyster now. I am Queen Novo.
Applejack: Hold on now. Lemme get this straight. When the Storm King came, you just abandoned your entire city and fled?
Princess Skystar: We didn't flee! We swam! Y'know, in order to flee.
Twilight Sparkle: But... how?
Princess Skystar: Oh! Can we show them? Huh? These are the first guests we've had in, like, foreveeerrr! Can we, can we, can we, can we, can we, can we, can we, can we, can we?
Queen Novo: Well, I suppose I should make sure it still works. [chuckles]
Princess Skystar: [giggles]
Queen Novo: Careful, now.
Princess Skystar: [squeals]
Mane Six: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh! [laughs]
Fluttershy: Ooh! Oh! [laughs]
Applejack: Oh. Wa-wa-whoa! [laughs]
Mane Six: [awed reactions]
Fluttershy: Wow!
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Rarity: These fins are divine!
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack, I'll race ya to that coral!
Applejack: You're on!
Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! [giggles] Ooh! Try it, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: [giggles] Yay.
Spike: Guys? Guys? What is... [puffs] ...happening?!
Fluttershy: Aw, so cute!
Twilight Sparkle: This is amazing! With this, we could transform everypony at home into something powerful enough to face the Storm King's army!
Queen Novo: Or it could end up in his greedy claws!
Twilight Sparkle: But...
Queen Novo: Honey, I'm sorry about your home. I truly am. But my responsibility is to protect my subjects. The pearl... is not going anywhere.
Twilight Sparkle: But we've come all this way. And you can't just hide down here! Trapped forever! There's so much you're missing!
Queen Novo: We are one hundred percent okay with that!
Jamal: [chitters]
Queen Novo: Yes, Jamal?
Jamal: [chitters]
Queen Novo: Ooh! Time for my seaweed wrap.
Jamal: [chitters]
Queen Novo: Yes, a massage, too. Mama needs her deep tissue.
Applejack: So that's it? We left home for nothin'?
Princess Skystar: Oh, my gosh! Best... idea! You can stay with us! Forever! [laughs] There are so many things we can do! We can make friendship bracelets out of shells and... picture frames outta shells and... decorative wastebaskets out of shells... Oh, I have so many projects that involve shells, haha! Now I have someone new to share them with! I mean, aside from my friends, Shelly and Sheldon. Right? "Shelly"?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
Princess Skystar: And "Sheldon"? [chuckles] Get it? [chuckles, snorts]
Rarity: Ooh, ooh...
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Rarity: That sounds lovely, darling, but you must realize, we can't stay.
Applejack: We've gotta get back to our families.
Princess Skystar: Oh, no. Of course. Of course. Heh. Of course you have your own friends back home. It's fine. It's fine. Heh. [whispering] Shelly and Sheldon get jealous anyways. Heh. It's probably for the best. [sighs] Yeah, I'll just, um... [sadly] I'll get Mom to, uh, turn you back so you can go home.
Pinkie Pie: I know we have to go, but you guys saw how disappointed Princess Skystar was. Couldn't we stay for just a little longer?
Applejack: Pinkie, we just don't have time for—
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no. No no. Pinkie's right.
Rainbow Dash: Say what now?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we still need to come up with a plan to get back. A few minutes won't make a huge difference. And if there's anypony who can cram a lifetime of fun into a blink of an eye, it's Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie: [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: So, go ahead and show Skystar the best time ever!
Pinkie Pie: I won't let you down!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm counting on it.
Rest of the Mane Six: [giggling]
[strings and harp]
Princess Skystar: [sniffling] It's probably for the best. [holding back tears]
[Pinkie Pie]
[as Shelly] Hey, now, don't be sad
[as Sheldon] I know we cannot stay
[normal voice] But we've got a couple minutes
And a little time to play
[Princess Skystar]
I know you have important things
So it's okay, just go
[Pinkie Pie]
But we can still pick one small, little thing
To do with you, y'know!
One small thing doesn't seem like a lot
One small thing, work with the time you've got
Soon, one small thing becomes two
After two, perhaps another few
Then one small thing is not so small
One small thing can be the biggest thing of all
[Princess Skystar]
All right now, since you're here
Let's see what we can do
Swim with the flow until you go
Together, me and you
[Pinkie Pie]
I've got necklaces for everyfish
So what else do ya got?
[Princess Skystar]
Well, we could play the bubblefish
You'll like this one a lot!
[Pinkie Pie and Princess Skystar]
One small thing, it's a good place to start
[Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy]
(Just one small thing)
[Pinkie Pie and Princess Skystar]
One small thing, and we don't seem so far apart
[Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy]
(Don't seem apart)
[All]
Soon, one small thing leads to more
It's so much more than there was before
Just one small thing, and you will see
The start of something big for you and me
[Pinkie Pie]
One small thing
[Seaponies]
Just one small thing
[Princess Skystar]
Or a tall thing
[Seaponies]
Just one tall thing
[Fluttershy]
Or a sing thing
[Seaponies]
Just one sing-y thing
[Rarity]
Or a bling thing
[All]
Just one bling-y thing
[Applejack]
A conga thing
[All]
Yeah, a conga thing
[Rainbow Dash]
Or a longah thing
[Seaponies]
Just one longah thing
[Pinkie Pie]
A blue thing, true thing, you thing
[Seaponies]
(Oooh-oooh)
[Princess Skystar]
A whee thing, sea thing, me thing
[Seaponies]
(Oooh-oooh-oooh!)
[Pinkie Pie and Princess Skystar]
So many things and everything until our time is done
There's one small thing for each and everyone!
[Princess Skystar]
One small thing, so much we can create
You and me, we started something great
It's so amazing, look around
At all the happy sights and sounds
One small thing is big, it's true
You did this all for us
I just wish there was one small thing
An extra special kind of thing
[Princess Skystar and Seaponies]
That we could do for you...
One small thing!
Queen Novo: Woo! [laughs]
Princess Skystar: Hmm?
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Rest of the Mane Six: [laugh]
Queen Novo: Well, I guess there is one small thing we can do.
Pinkie Pie: Ahhh!
[alarm blaring]
Rest of the Mane Six: [gasp]
Female seapony: The pearl alarm! Oh, no, the pearl alarm!
Princess Skystar: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelling in distance]
[alarm continues]
Twilight Sparkle: [struggling] Ow!
Queen Novo: [snarls]
Twilight Sparkle: No! Please!
Queen Novo: All of this so you could sneak in and take the pearl?!
Princess Skystar: [yelps]
Queen Novo: [to Skystar] This is why we don't bring strangers into our home! [to Twilight, ominously] You don't deserve to be one of us.
[water]
[splashing]
Mane Six: [gasping for air]
Rainbow Dash: [coughing]
Rarity: [gasping, faints]
Applejack: What were you thinkin'? I mean, stealin' their pearl?
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] It was the only way to save Equestria.
Pinkie Pie: 'Cept it wasn't! The Queen was going to say yes! We did what you told us and that's what made her realize we were ponies worth saving! [gasps] Unless... You didn't really want us to show her the best time ever! You just wanted us to distract her!
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: I never would have done it, but this isn't Equestria! We can't just dance around with con artists, make rainbooms in the sky and expect everything to work out! It's not enough! We are not enough!
Pinkie Pie: No, Twilight! We stuck together! We were gonna get the help we needed! The only thing that stopped us... was you!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I'm doing the best I can! It's all on me. I'm the one Tempest wants. I'm the last Princess!
Pinkie Pie: You're also the only one who doesn't trust her friends!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe, I would've been better off without friends like you!!!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[soft strings]
Fluttershy: [whimpers]
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, I...
Pinkie Pie: [sniffles] I just can't talk to you right now.
[strings continue]
[waves crashing]
[piano]
Spike: Twilight? It's okay. You'll figure it out.
Twilight Sparkle: [through tears] No. I can't. I ruined everything. There's no chance to save Equestria now. It's all my fault. Spike? [gasps]
Spike: [muffled] Twilight, look out!
Twilight Sparkle: [screams, gasps] No no no no no! Noooooo!
Spike: [muffled] Twilight, help me!
Twilight Sparkle: Spiiiiiike!!!
Spike: Twiliiiiiight!!!
Twilight Sparkle: [struggles]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Tempest Shadow: Aww, the "Princess of Friendship". With no friends! [chuckles] And no way out.
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you doing this? You're a pony! Just like me.
[zap]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
Tempest Shadow: I'm nothing like you! I'm more than you'll ever be!
[Tempest Shadow]
It's time you learned a lesson
It's time that you understand
Don't ever count on anybody else
In this or any other land
I once hoped for friendship
To find a place among my kind
But those were the childish wishes
Of someone who was blind
Open up your eyes
See the world from where I stand
Me, among the mighty
You, caged at my command
Open up your eyes
Give up your sweet fantasy land
It's time to grow up and get wise
Come now, little one, open up your eyes
We all start out the same
With simple naive trust
Shielded from the many ways
That life's not fair or just
But then there comes a moment
A simple truth that you must face
If you depend on others
You'll never find your place
[instrumental]
And as you take that first step
Upon a path that's all your own
You see it all so clearly
The best way to survive is all alone
Open up your eyes
See the world from where I stand
Me, among the mighty
You, caged at my command
Open up your eyes
And behold the faded light
It's time to grow up and get wise
Come now, little one, open up your eyes
Open up your eyes!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so sorry you felt so alone.
Tempest Shadow: I saw the truth. My "friends" abandoned me when times got tough. Looks like I'm not the only one. Face it, Princess. Friendship has failed you, too.
Twilight Sparkle: Friendship didn't fail me. I failed friendship.
[silence]
Fluttershy: [sighs] This whole journey was such a mistake. [gasps] All we wanted was somepony to help us.
Applejack: [sighs] Ya think, maybe it's time we talk to Twilight?
Spike: She's! Been! Taken!!!
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Spike: [panting] Twilight's been taken! Tempest! She grabbed her! And took her on her ship!
Rest of the Mane Six: [gasp]
Rainbow Dash: We gotta get her back!
Fluttershy: How? We'll never catch up!
Applejack: And we got no way to defeat those monsters.
Fluttershy: [sighs]
Capper: Well, good thing I happen to know of a group of mighty heroes that could handle this easily!
Rarity: [angrily] Well! Look what the cat dragged in! Himself!
Capper: These heroes have faced the Storm King's army and escaped! I've seen them tackle the streets of the roughest towns, break out of the tightest situations, and inspire others to join their cause!
Rest of the Mane Six and Spike: Ooooh.
Applejack: Now don't get too excited. He's just talkin' about us.
Rest of the Mane Six and Spike: Awww.
Capper: They even escaped certain doom at the hooves of Commander Tempest!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. That was pretty great.
Captain Celaeno: Are you kidding me?! That was awesome!
Squabble: [squawks]
Boyle: Figured you could use a claw!
Captain Celaeno: We're on board to help you fight the Storm King! Just not on board our... actual ship.
Mullet: That crazy unicorn sunk it. But you got back our argh! And we're ready to kick some booty.
Boyle and other pirates: [laugh heartily]
[bubbles]
Rest of the Mane Six: [gasp]
Spike: Whoa!
[magic sounds]
Capper: Is that what I think it is?
Princess Skystar: Hellooooooo!! Me again! [giggles] I'm gonna get so grounded, but I talked things over with Shelly and Sheldon and they pointed out that you were just trying to help your friends.
Pinkie Pie: Ahhhh!
Princess Skystar: So I wanna help too. 'Cause ya know... one small thing... [whispering] can make a really big difference!
Spike: That's it, right? We didn't make friends with anypony else?
Capper: All right, y'all! I think our course is clear. Y'all ready to do this thang?
Pinkie Pie: We're coming, Twilight!
Everypony: [cheers]
Pinkie Pie: As soon as we bake up a plan!
[wind rustling]
[Songbird Serenade]
I am here and I see your pain
Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain
I'm telling you you can not escape
[storm creature growls, bangs on cage]
Songbird Serenade: [sighs]
[wheels clanking]
[doors open]
[music]
[clang]
[doors close]
Grubber: [laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Tempest, don't do this. Don't give the Storm King—
Tempest Shadow: Your magic? Did you think you'd keep it all to yourself? Time to share. I'd love for everybody out there to know what I can really do.
The Storm King: Ooh, fascinating! What can you really do?
Grubber: Your bidding, of courth, Your Mighty One.
[beat]
The Storm King: Bidding's good. I like bidding! Um, what are you supposed to be?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm the Princess of Friendship!
The Storm King: [laughs] Oh. That's nice. [to Tempest] Why is this one still moving?
Tempest Shadow: She and her friends put up a bit of a fight, but she's alone now. She won't be a problem.
The Storm King: Yeah. So, speaking of problems, this place, it seems a little too—oh, I don't know—cute!!! I don't like cute! I never did like cute! Doesn't really go with my whole "big bad powerful magic guy" thing, does it?! Deliver the punchline, Tempest, because this has gotta be a joke! [grunts]
[magic sounds]
The Storm King: Huh? [gasps]
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [struggling] No!
The Storm King: [laughs] Check out the light show! Wow! Wow!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
The Storm King: Let's get this storm started! Ooh, hey, that's good. I should trademark that.
[zap!]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps]
The Storm King: Not bad. Actually, kinda first rate. What else does it do?
Tempest Shadow: Your Excellency, you promised to restore my horn and give me—
The Storm King: Deh-deh-deh-deh-deh, okay. Hang on.
[magic sounds]
The Storm King: You gotta be kiddin' me! I can move the sun?! A ha ha! Wow! Now this is what I'm talkin' about! Ha ha! Time to play! Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday! Day, night! Day, night! Day night! Day night! Day night! Sunrise, sunset! [humming gleefully]
[wheels clanking]
Spike: [breathing fire]
[shields clang]
Capper: Uh, yeah, I got a delivery here for a Mister "The Storm King". I was given explicit instructions to bring this here cake to this here castle's throne room.
[storm creatures growl]
[weapons brandishing]
Capper: All right, then. Look here. Could one o' y'all go be a pal, go tell your boss he's not gettin' his "congratulations on subduing defenseless pastel ponies" cake? 'Cause I don't wanna be the one responsible for the big guy missin' his special dessert. You know what I'm sayin'?
[storm creatures growl]
Capper: Thank you kindly, fellas. I'mma be sure and put in a good word for the botha y'all.
[storm creature snarls]
Applejack: [quietly] Pinkie, quit lookin' so happy! Ya ain't foolin' nopony!
Pinkie Pie: [quietly] Oh! Okay! [whimpers]
[wheels clanking]
Grubber: Mmm! Pie! Oh, hello, cake! Ooh! Don't mind if I do!
[cake splatter]
Grubber: Mmm! That's some, like, gourmet ithing! Who putth eyeballth in filling? [hyperventilates] Guards!
[storm creatures growl]
Capper: Uh-oh. Plan B?
Rainbow Dash: The jig is up!
[slow motion sounds]
Captain Celaeno: Come on!
Mullet: Harr!
Princess Skystar: Oof! [grunts] Gotcha!
Squabble: [squawks]
Lix Spittle: [grunts]
[storm creature yelling]
Lix Spittle: [laughs]
Applejack: [grunting]
Rarity: Lovely!
Pinkie Pie: Surprise!
Storm Creature: [surprised grunts]
Pinkie Pie: Double surprise!!
[splat!]
Pinkie Pie: Whee! [laughs]
Fluttershy: [whimpers] Ooh!
[storm creature growls]
Fluttershy: You seem tense. Do you wanna talk about it?
Storm Creature: Huh?
Captain Celaeno: Yeah!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Captain Celaeno: Head for the castle! We'll hold them off!
Rainbow Dash: Come on!
[storm creature blubbering]
Fluttershy: Let it all out.
Everypony else: Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: Oh! Sorry, our time is up. Buh-bye!
Storm Creature: Goodbye!
[storm creatures grunting]
Princess Skystar: Keep going! Shelly? Sheldon?
Shelly and Sheldon: [chattering]
Storm Creature: [grunts] I can't see!
[action music]
[storm creatures growl]
Applejack: Uh-oh.
Capper: [to Spike] Hey, ain't you a fire-breathin' dragon?
Spike: [breathes fire]
Capper: [laughs]
[storm creatures scream]
Tempest Shadow: What?! How?!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] It's... It's the Magic of...
The Storm King: Yeah, yeah! Friendship, and flowers, and ponies, and bleh! I'm so totally over the cute pony thing. This... ends... now!
[rumbling]
The Storm King: [laughing]
Capper: Uh-oh.
Rarity and Fluttershy: [yelp]
The Storm King: [maniacal laughter] Yeah!
Capper: Move them hooves, ponies!
Rarity: [screams]
[storm creatures yelling]
Rainbow Dash: You'd have to be flying faster than a speeding Pegasus to break through that wind!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Excellent idea, Rainbow Dash!
The Storm King: Now I truly am the Storm King! And the entire world will bow to my ba-ba-ba-boom, baby!
Tempest Shadow: Yes, yes, you are every bit as powerful as I promised, Sire, now, restore my horn and I swear to use my magic to serve you!
The Storm King: [laughs] Who cares about your dinky little unicorn horn?!
Tempest Shadow: But... we... we had an agreement!
The Storm King: Get with the program! I used you! It's kind of what I do!
[zaps]
Tempest Shadow: [yelps]
[zap!]
The Storm King: Ahh!
Tempest Shadow: [yelps]
The Storm King: [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
The Storm King: Ow!
Tempest Shadow: [gasps, grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on!
Tempest Shadow: Why are you saving me?
Twilight Sparkle: Because this is what friends do.
[strings and harp play "Open Up Your Eyes"]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts]
The Storm King: [sarcastically] Awwww! Isn't that just so sweet! [laughs] Yeah. See ya!
Mullet: You sure about this?
Pinkie Pie: Just do it! Thank you! I'm excited! Who's excited?! Aaah! I've never been so excited!
Squabble: [squawks]
[boom! boom! boom!]
Rest of the Mane Six and Spike: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Whee!
The Storm King: [laughs] Ooh!
[window cracks]
[squee]
Pinkie Pie: [weakly] Bull's-eye!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! You all came back! I'm so sorry! I was wrong to—
Pinkie Pie: I'm sorry, too. Friends mess up sometimes, but we never should've—
Rainbow Dash: Uh, make up later! This isn't over!
Mane Six: [gasp]
[crackling, crumbling]
Tempest Shadow: [panting]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunts, gasps] I've gotta get control of it!
Pinkie Pie: Go! You've got this, Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: No. We've got this. Together.
["Time to Be Awesome" action theme playing]
Pinkie Pie: Whee!
The Storm King: [grunts] The staff belongs to me!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
The Storm King: [grunting]
Mane Six: [whimpering]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
The Storm King: No! That's my staff!! [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
The Storm King: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: [grunting]
The Storm King: Miiiiiine!! Mine!!!
Applejack: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: No!
The Storm King and Twilight Sparkle: [scream]
Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Nooooooooooo!!!
[wind blowing]
[somber orchestra]
[wind dies down]
Pinkie Pie: [sobs]
[light glistening]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps]
[strings, harp, penny whistle, and guitar]
Pinkie Pie: Yay!
Applejack: Yee-haw! [laughs] All right!
Mane Six: [laughing and cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Group hug! [squeals]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs]
[strings]
The Storm King: [grunts]
Tempest Shadow: [gasps]
[crackling]
The Storm King: [grunts]
Tempest Shadow: Nooo!!
[slow motion sounds]
[crash!]
[magic sounds]
Rainbow Dash: Whoa! I can't believe she did that!
Twilight Sparkle: I can.
[magic sounds]
Tempest Shadow: [gasps]
Fluttershy: Now what?
[strings]
Tempest Shadow: Now... we fix everything.
[magic sounds]
Princess Luna: [gasps]
Princess Celestia: [gasps] Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: Princesses! Oh!
[music]
Muffins: [gasps]
[music continues]
Spike: [clears throat] Fillies and gentlecolts, get ready for a little...
[fanfare]
Spike: Songbird Serenade!
[crowd cheering]
Songbird Serenade: And now, to celebrate the fact that we're all still here in one piece, give it up for Princess Twilight and her friends!
[crowd cheering]
Code Red: All right! Way to go, guys!
[camera flashing]
Bulk Biceps: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha!
[Songbird Serenade]
I know you, you're a special one
Some see crazy where I see love
You fall so low but shoot so high
Big dreamers shoot for open sky
So much life in those open eyes
So much depth, you look for the light
Capper: Ooh!
Rarity: And perfection!
[Songbird Serenade]
But when your wounds open, you will cry
Princess Skystar and Pinkie Pie: [laugh]
Princess Skystar: [gasps] Mom!
Queen Novo: You are so grounded! [laughs]
[Songbird Serenade]
You'll cry out now and you'll question why
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as the sun comes out
As the sun comes out
[instrumental]
Tempest Shadow: Well, that's one thing that never changes around here. The party.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I hope you'll stay. More friends are definitely merrier.
Tempest Shadow: [sighs] But, um... my horn.
Twilight Sparkle: You know, your horn is pretty powerful, just like the pony it belongs to.
Tempest Shadow: I did tell you I wanted to show everypony in Equestria what I could do, right?
[zap]
[fireworks]
[Songbird Serenade]
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
Pinkie Pie: Nice touch, Tempest!
Tempest Shadow: Actually, that's not my real name.
Pinkie Pie: Oooh! What is it?!
Tempest Shadow: [quietly] It's "Fizzlepop Berrytwist".
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Okay! That is the most awesome name ever!
[end credits]
[Songbird Serenade]
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as the sun comes out
As the sun comes out
I am here and I see your pain
Through the storms, through the clouds, the rain
I'm telling you you can not escape
You can do it, just feel, baby
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
In your tears as the sun comes out
As the sun comes out
Here comes the sun smiling down
Here comes the sun smiling down
Here comes the sun smiling down
Smiling down
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
I can see a rainbow
In your—
As the sun comes out
[record scratching]
[Lukas Graham]
So, we wanna stay
But can't find peace while sittin' still
I guess we never will
We're on the way
We won't hurry back again
The journey is the end (oh)
I love this very moment
We're speedin' up, not slowin'
We might know we can't win
But we're dumb enough to try
We're going, there's no maybe
That's why they call us crazy
And we'll say if anybody asks us
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know (oh)
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know
We never need to know
Seekin' boundaries to break
Let's forget the ones we've made
So we carry on
Don't let good things pass us by
The time we're gone will be the best time of our life
I love this very moment
We're speedin' up, not slowin'
We might know we can't win
But we're dumb enough to try
We're going, there's no maybe
That's why they call us crazy
And we'll say if anybody asks us
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know (oh)
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know
So go tell 'em we won't stop
We know they can't change us
We're gonna go way off the map
To get ourselves back on the track
Go tell 'em we won't stop
We know they can't change us
No need to worry so much
We do whatever we want (oh)
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know (oh)
"Hey (hey!), where you gonna go?" [clap clap]
We're off to see the world
We don't need to know (oh)
Ohhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ohhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ohhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ohhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
[score suite]

My Little Pony Best Gift Ever

Alice: [voiceover] 'Twas a single day left before Hearth's Warming Eve,
Everypony was busy, so much to achieve;
They hustled and bustled, their heads were a-spin,
And it's here that our holiday story begins...
[Ponies]
Hearth's Warming Eve is almost here
There's so much left to do
[Rainbow Dash]
Still need to shop for all my friends
But what to get? No clue!
[Fluttershy]
This one is nice, and that's so cute
Although that's pretty, too
[Rarity]
Why do I make all these gifts each year?
I doubt I'll make it through
[Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity]
One more day before the cheer
[Ponies]
Shop! Pay! Box! Wrap! Bow! Repeat!
[Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity]
One last chance before the holiday's here
[Ponies]
Box! Wrap! Bow! Again!
[Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity]
One more day to make the holiday great
One more day before we celebrate
[Rarity]
One day, and then it's here
[Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity]
One more chance to bring that holiday cheer
[Pinkie Pie]
Hearth's Warming Eve is almost here
A day for us to share
[Applejack]
Friends and family all together
[Pinkie Pie]
Pies and Apples and a Pear
[Applejack]
Together families, lots of work
There's so much to prepare
[Pinkie Pie and Applejack]
With all the planning we still have to do
We've got no time to spare
[Ponies]
One more day before the cheer
[Pinkie Pie]
Stuff! Box! Wrap! Card! Bow! Repeat!
[Ponies]
One last chance before the holiday's here
[Pinkie Pie]
Stir! Pour! Bake! Again!
[Ponies]
One more day to make the holiday bright
[Wensley]
One more day, and I can sleep at night
[Applejack]
The family's almost here
[Ponies]
One more chance to bring that holiday cheer
Before the fun, there's preparation
(Just around the corner)
Shopping, cooking, decorations
(The complications)
It's all worth it in the end
Spreading joy to all your friends
Even when it never, ever
Ever seems to end
Aah!
[Spike]
Hearth's Warming Eve is getting close
We're not prepared, I fear
Twilight, you should take a break
[Twilight Sparkle]
No time for rest, that much is clear
I made a list and checked it twice
There's lots to do on here
Oh, if I can't get everything done
I'll have to wait and celebrate next year
[Ponies]
One more day before the cheer
Shop! Pay! Box! Wrap! Bow! Repeat!
One last chance before the holiday's here
Box! Wrap! Bow! Again!
One more day to make the holiday great
One more day until we celebrate
[Cutie Mark Crusaders]
Please, oh, please make it really, really great!
[Parcel Post]
One more gift, try to hurry, don't be late!
[Daisy, Rose, and Lily]
Box! Wrap! Bow! Repeat! Gotta concentrate!
[All]
Just one more day until we all celebrate!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts, to Twilight] Do we wanna know why you're wrapping up everypony in town?
Spike: Not wrapping paper. A to-do list.
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Two of these! Three of those! I'm gonna need ten of those! Just in case!
Rarity: Twilight, darling, are you all right?
Twilight Sparkle: Sure! Just-grabbing-a-few-things-do-I-need-this-no-that's-silly-I-need-eight!
Applejack: Hey, y'all! What's everypony—? Ohhh. Traditional holiday meltdown?
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh.
Twilight Sparkle: [hyperventilating]
Applejack: [calmly and quietly] Hey, Twilight. How's your day?
Twilight Sparkle: I got way behind grading midterms, and Cadance and Shining Armor are coming here with Flurry Heart for Hearth's Warming Eve, and I haven't started decorating, and I don't know what to get any of you, and—!
Applejack: Stop! Take a breath.
Twilight Sparkle: [inhales deeply]
Applejack: Now let it out sloooooooooowwww...
Twilight Sparkle: [exhales slowly]
Applejack: Now, I think I have an idea that might help. What if we change up how we give gifts this year and do a Hearthswarmin' Helper?
Fluttershy: What's a Hearthswarming Helper?
Applejack: Whenever the whole Apple family got together, there were just so many of us, it didn't make sense to buy everypony gifts. So we'd put our names in a hat...
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, a game of chance! Tell me more.
Applejack: ...then we'd pull a name, but keep it a secret.
Pinkie Pie: A dash of mystery. Good. Good.
Applejack: Instead of buyin' everypony a present, you just get one for the pony you picked from the hat.
Pinkie Pie: Wait. So instead of lots of presents, I only buy one of you a present? What kind of game is this?!
Rarity: Well, it would save time.
Spike: And you could get the pony you pick something really nice. [sighs]
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat] The less shopping, the better. In!
Fluttershy: Will that help, Twilight?
Twilight Sparkle: I was stressed about shopping.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Fine. I will only buy one present for my secret Hearthswarming Helper buddy.
Applejack: We just need to put everypony's name in this here hat.
[ripping and writing]
Applejack: Y'all ready? No peekin'.
[music]
Pinkie Pie: So excited! Aah! Too excited! I don't wanna give anything away!
[zipping]
Pinkie Pie: Wheeee!
Rarity: When will the gift exchange occur?
Rainbow Dash: How about Twilight's castle tomorrow night, Hearth's Warming Eve?
Applejack: That's perfect! Pinkie and I can spend the evenin' with y'all and the next mornin' with our families!
Twilight Sparkle: And thanks to all of you, I should be ready to celebrate by then!
Fluttershy: Oh, this is so exciting!
Spike: Uh... Um, Applejack, is it against the rules to trade names? Like if I had a better idea for somepony special? I mean specific?
Applejack: If you can figure out who has the pony you want and they're okay with tradin', I guess it's fine.
Spike: Great! So, uh, who do you—?
Applejack: I don't have Rarity.
Spike: What?! That's not who I—!
Applejack: Uh-huh.
[doors open]
Spike: Heeeey, Twilight! Whatcha planning to get your secret pony?
Twilight Sparkle: Not sure. I'm getting the castle ready for my family first. Then I'll shop.
Spike: Maybe something sparkly? Fashionable?
Twilight Sparkle: No! Those aren't really the kind of things my pony likes.
Spike: Oh. Welp, gotta go! Wish me luck!
Twilight Sparkle: With shopping?
Spike: Well, yeah! If everypony's only getting one gift, we have a ton of responsibility to make sure it's extra-special good.
Twilight Sparkle: I didn't think of it that way. The present I get for Pinkie Pie should make or break her holiday. I can't just go shopping and hope to find something nice. This needs forethought, planning, research! I'll decoarate later. Knowing Pinkie, she probably already has a perfect idea what to get her pony.
Pinkie Pie: I have no idea what to get my pony!
Limestone Pie: There's a pile of presents right there. Pick one, and you're done.
Pinkie Pie: Those were for when I was getting all of my friends matching harmony Hearth's Warming hats! Now it's just Twilight! [sobs] I can't give one pony a matching present with nothing to match it! I need something special for only her!
[shatter!]
Maud Pie: [deadpan] I've got it.
Pinkie Pie: I don't think Twilight likes rocks as much as you do, Maud.
Maud Pie: [deadpan] Don't rock it 'til you try it.
[boing!]
Marble Pie: [giggles]
Gummy: [sticks tongue out]
Pinkie Pie: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gummy. But this is the biggest holiday challenge I've ever faced!
[crunch!]
Pinkie Pie: [to Limestone] Uh, this one's for you. Hey! This is the biggest holiday challenge I've ever faced! How exciting is that?! Am I up for the challenge? I know I'm good at gift-giving, but am I the best at gift-giving?
Limestone Pie: Who would say they're the best at gift-giving? That's ridiculous.
Marble Pie: Uhhhh—
Pinkie Pie: Marble, you're a genius! Yaks would say they're the best at gift-giving! If anypony knows what to do, it's them! I gotta go to Yakyakistan! Thanks! These Pie sister talks are the best! [smooching]
Spike: Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: I don't have Rarity!
Spike: Whoa!
[thud]
Rarity: Oh! [chuckles] How's your shopping going, Spike?
Spike: Uh, fine!
Rarity: [whispering] Which pony did you get?
Spike: I can't... remember?
Rarity: I've got Applejack, darling. She's going to adore her present. There's a brilliant designer in Manehattan – Fedora Felt – who makes the most marvelous hats. I asked for a new take on western chic that would be the envy of every farm pony in Equestria.
Spike: That's a great gift, Rarity. I hope I can find something for my pony as special as you are. Uh, she is! U-Uh, bye!
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, what about your favorite food?
Fluttershy: Ooh. I couldn't pick just one. What if it hurt the other foods' feelings?
Rainbow Dash: Riiiiight... But there's gotta be something you really, really like.
Fluttershy: I really, really like... everything! Why do you ask?
Rainbow Dash: Juuuust getting gift ideas. Uh, for my pony. Who isn't you. So, uh, is there anything you don't like?
Fluttershy: Hmmm... Not liking things!
Rainbow Dash: [groaning]
Fluttershy: I hope that helped!
[sparkly sounds]
Spike: Hey, Fluttershy! Thinking of getting that for your Hearthswarming Helper?
Fluttershy: Mm-hmm. She loves shiny things.
Spike: [overacted] I wish I knew what my secret pony wanted. She's so hard to shop for.
Fluttershy: Oh, no. Maybe I could help. Unless you don't want to—
Spike: Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy: Oh! I was just talking to Rainbow Dash about these—
Spike: Great idea! We should trade ponies!
Fluttershy: Wait. Trade?
Spike: Well, Applejack said it's not against the rules. And you know what Rainbow Dash likes, so it's perfect. [gasps] Rarity?! What a surprise! [chuckles] Thanks!
[zip!]
Applejack: There you are! I need your help.
Fluttershy: Do you want to trade names, too?
Applejack: What? No. I just need help figurin' out what to get Spike.
Fluttershy: Phew!
[door closes]
Rainbow Dash: Candle. Great. Whatever. Fluttershy-shopping done.
Discord: Ugh. You can't honestly be serious.
Rainbow Dash: Ghost candle!
[thud]
Discord: A candle is what you buy when you have no idea what to get somepony.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] What do you want, Discord?
[poof]
Discord: Fluttershy told me about this Hearth's whatever-it's-called. I may not be invited, but I wanted to make sure she gets a quality gift.
[clunk]
Rainbow Dash: I tried asking her what she likes, but she likes everything.
Discord: Well, she says that, but her real friends know what she actually likes.
Rainbow Dash: I've known her a lot longer than you have.
[poof]
Discord: Then you must surely know that lit candles around adorably flammable animals make her nervous, don't you?
[sheep bleats]
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Fine. I'll get her something else.
[plane engine roaring]
Discord: Perhaps I'll tag along to steer you in the right direction.
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
[door opens]
Spike: I can't wait to give Rarity her gift. It'll be just as special and beautiful and amazing as she is. Just imagine when she opens it and sees... uh, sees... I have no idea what to get her! [sobbing]
Fluttershy: I come to the Rainbow Falls Hearth's Warming Craft Fair every year. They have perfect presents for anypony.
Applejack: Hopefully, anydragon, too. Wanna split up? Meet back here in an hour?
Fluttershy: Sure.
Flam: Oh, no! There's only a few left!
[excited chatter]
Flim: Fillies and gentlecolts, we want you all to have the best holiday your bits can buy! But there are only a limited number left!
Fluttershy: [to Flam] Limited number of what?
Flam: Why, you don't know about Holly the Hearth Warmer?
[ponies gasp]
Flim: You seem like somepony looking for a gift for a very special friend.
Fluttershy: I am!
Flim: A friend who wouldn't want to miss out on the must-have gift everypony is talking about?
Fluttershy: She certainly wouldn't wanna miss out on that.
Flim: A truly awesome friend who deserves something twenty percent cooler than any other gift out there?
Fluttershy: That sounds just like her!
Flim: Well, look no further! This is it!
Fluttershy: Ooh! Ooh! How much does it cost?!
Flim: How much do you have?
Prince Rutherford: Yojan! Is that good angle for optimal smashing?!
Yojan: [whimpers]
Prince Rutherford: [snorts]
Pinkie Pie: Guess who!
Prince Rutherford: Yojan?
Pinkie Pie: No, silly!
Prince Rutherford: Ingville? Tormand? No, no, wait! Grimhorn!
Pinkie Pie: Nope-ity, nope, nein, and nyet! It's me!
Prince Rutherford: Aww, Prince Rutherford knew it Pink Pony all along! Yaks best at guessing.
Pinkie Pie: Yaks best at everything! That's why I'm here. Sorry to interrupt Snilldar Fest, but I need help. Can you tell me where to find... [imitating yaks] best gift ever?! [echoes]
[crows cawing]
Prince Rutherford: [exclaims] Not here! Follow this way!
[zip!]
Prince Rutherford: [whispering] Prince Rutherford about to tell honorary yak friend something very top secret.
Pinkie Pie: Honorary yak friend listening.
Prince Rutherford: [whispering] Yaks best at all things except one. Yaks not best at giving gifts.
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] What?!
Prince Rutherford: [whispering] I know! It hard to believe!
Pinkie Pie: How am I gonna figure out how to give Twilight the best Hearth's Warming gift ever?!
Prince Rutherford: [whispering] Oh, no worry, honorary yak. Prince Rutherford keep secret map in perfectly organized files.
[clatter!]
Prince Rutherford: Best gift givers up northern pass, where sky shimmers and glows. There, secret gift giver grove. Only yak princes and pink honorary yak know.
[zipper zips]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] My lips are sealed.
Pinkie Pie: [shouting] Time for my top-secret quest to the Gift Givers!
[bell dinging]
Derpy: Oh, hi, Rarity. How can I help you?
Rarity: I expected a package today, and I was wondering where that might be.
Derpy: Oh, okay. Uh, let's check. Name?
Rarity: Uh, Rarity?
Derpy: [clears throat, mumbles] Oh! Here we go! Your package was delivered to Sweet Apple Acres.
Rarity: What?! It was supposed to be delivered to Rarity's Boutique!
Derpy: Um... okay... but... now, the package was for Applejack, and she is at Sweet Apple Acres.
Rarity: [low growl] Yes, it's for Applejack, but I will be delivering it.
Derpy: Uh... that's my job.
Rarity: It's a gift for Applejack from me.
Derpy: [gasps] What if she opens it?! It shouldn't go to Sweet Apple Acres! Oh! Wait! It went to Sweet Acorn Orchard instead! [laughs] Oh, well, that's a relief.
Rarity: Why is that a relief?!
Derpy: Because Applejack's not in Sweet Acorn Orchard. Do you want me to get the package and deliver it to her?
Rarity: No! [clears throat] Uh, may I have the address for Sweet Acorn Orchard? I think I'll just collect the package myself.
Derpy: Are you sure? 'Cause I would be happy to—
Rarity: You have helped so much already.
Derpy: Break time!
Spike: Shopping for Rarity. No problem. She likes lots of stuff. I just need something special.
Pony Vendor 1: Brand-new top-of-the-line sewing equipment?
Pony Vendor 2: A priceless rhinestone necklace?
"Top Notch": A sculpture of Rarity made from smaller sculptures of Rarity?
Spike: [gasps] Oooh... Wow! Awesome! Shopping for Rarity. Slight problem. She likes lots of stuff. But nothing is special enough!
[ponies conversing]
Discord: Oh, goodness, no.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
Discord: Even worse!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, come on! Fluttershy would love a spa day!
Discord: Really? Love the stress of deciding which treatment to get? Love worrying that she's not relaxing enough? Or relaxing too much? And what about all those sweet animals she's left alone?! So much to worry about, and all because of you.
Rainbow Dash: She's Fluttershy! Everything makes her worry!
Discord: Now you sound like somepony who knows her!
Rainbow Dash: Well, if you're such an expert on Fluttershy, what did you get her?
Discord: Oh, and you honestly expect me to tell you what I got Fluttershy so that you can one-up me? Well, I have half a mind to stop you entirely.
Rainbow Dash: Good! Please stop helping me! I'm begging you!
Discord: Well, I suppose I could tell you what my backup present was.
Rainbow Dash: [sarcastically] Great. Still helping.
Discord: It would've made a lovely addition to her animal sanctuary. But you have to be the fastest pony in Equestria to even have a chance of—
Rainbow Dash: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. You're talking to the fastest pony in Equestria! If there's some fast animal out there Fluttershy would love, I'm the one who can get it.
Discord: Oh, I just don't know.
Rainbow Dash: I'm calling it! Dibs!
Discord: If you insist. [snaps]
[poof]
Twilight Sparkle: The ideal gift for Pinkie Pie needs to be A – unique, B – specific to her personality, and C – food-based. What is a unique food? Cupcakes? Nah. Cookies? Nope. Pies? Pastries? Pudding? [gasps] Wait! [echoing] Puuuuuuuuuuuudding! [reading] "After defeating the Windigos, the Earth pony, Pegasi, and unicorn nations prepared the first Hearth's Warming meal together. Chancellor Puddinghead made a pudding so delicious, legends were written about it!" This is it! Unique, totally Pinkie, the most incredible dessert ever!
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: Where's the recipe?!
Applejack: I've narrowed down my choices for Spike to fire-dancing sticks, or a Power Ponies comic. Unenchanted, I think. Aah! What is that?!
Fluttershy: Holly the Hearth's Warmer doll. Isn't she sweet?
[pullstring winds]
Holly the Hearth's Warmer Doll: [Flim's voice] I love being an expensive toy!
Applejack: Egh. Why'd you think that was a good gift for Rainbow Dash?
Fluttershy: It's the must-have gift of the season. And in short supply.
Applejack: "Short supply", huh? How much did that set you back?
Fluttershy: All my bits. All my bits? Can I borrow some for the train ride home?
[bits jingle]
Applejack: Somethin' about this here doll seems fishy. And I ain't just talkin' about the smell of that plastic. Where'd you get it?
[ponies chattering]
[music]
Applejack: Flim and Flam! What are those two Hearth's Warmin' hooligans up to now?!
[wind whistling]
[creaking]
[knock, knock!]
[door opens]
Rarity: Uh, is this Sweet Acorn Orchard?
Butternut: It is. But we've never had no pony like you visit before.
Rarity: Rarity. Uh, pleasure. I'm actually here about a package that was recently deliv—
Oak Nut: Oh, that was from you?
Rarity: [sighs] So it did arrive! [chuckles] Uh, if I could just—
Butternut: We don't know how to thank you!
Rarity: Thank me?
[clatter]
[tea pouring]
Oak Nut: I was just sayin' to Butternut I wish we knew who our Hearth's Warming miracle was.
Butternut: Oak Nut and I couldn't believe it when we opened it. Pistachio said right away whoever sent it just got him.
Oak Nut: Says when he put it on, he could feel his destiny.
Rarity: As an... acorn farmer?
Pistachio: [scoffs] A farmer?! Filly, please! This is a Fedora Felt original! Look at this bold stitching. These daring textures. It's a whole new take on western chic. There is no way I would wear it in the grove!
Butternut: We don't know where he got his fashion sense.
Oak Nut: Heh. Far as we know, a hat's a hat.
Pistachio: Except when it's art.
Butternut: Thank you, Rarity.
Pistachio: Rarity? The Rarity?!
Rarity: Mm-hmm.
Pistachio: You have to stay for lunch! I won't take no for an answer!
Rarity: Oh, well, I, uh... I would be delighted.
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: The recipe for Chancellor Puddinghead's magical pudding was filed under "Magical Spells", not "Recipes". Only took four hours to figure that out. Let's see. Nutmeg, sugarplums, gingerbread, candy canes... [reading] "Warning – To avoid untold culinary devastation, each ingredient must be measured with exact care." [laughs] Book, have you met me?!
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Shining Armor and Princess Cadance: Happy Hearth's Warming!
Flurry Heart: [squeals]
Twilight Sparkle: But you're early. Your scroll said you were coming tomorrow.
Princess Cadance: Uh, the scroll we sent yesterday?
Twilight Sparkle: Yesterday. Right. Welcome! Uh, what are you doing?
Shining Armor: Decorations not up. Frazzled mane. Determined look. I've seen this before. What are you obsessing about this time, Twily?
Twilight Sparkle: Nothing!
Shining Armor: So, decorations aren't up because...?
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I thought it would be more fun if we all decorated it together!
Princess Cadance: Oh, that sounds wonderful. We could start decorating right aw—
Twilight Sparkle: After I finish one quick errand. Just a few ingredients. Nothing to obsess about here! [laughs] Make yourselves at home. Be right back! Promise!
[teleportation zap]
Princess Cadance: She's definitely freaking out about something.
Shining Armor: Oh, yeah.
[bouncing]
[wind howling]
[clang!]
[cranking sounds]
Pinkie Pie: [grunting]
[bear growls]
[door opens]
Aurora: By Blitzen's beard, it took you long enough!
Pinkie Pie: Aah!
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: Are you sure you were expecting me? My name is—
Aurora: Pinkie Pie. I know. Because I know everything.
Alice: Oh, don't be silly. You only know what's already happened. But you don't know what she's about to ask.
Pinkie Pie and Alice: What am I about to ask? How did you know I was gonna say that?!
Bori: Will you two stop showing off? She doesn't have all Hearth's Warming.
Pinkie Pie: Who are you reindeer?
Aurora: Aurora.
Bori: Bori.
Alice: Alice.
Aurora, Bori, and Alice: The Gift Givers of the Grove!
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! And you can help me give Twilight the best gift ever?!
Bori and Alice: Mm-hmm!
Aurora: What about those matching hats? They were so cute.
Pinkie Pie: Well, that was—
Bori: Before she had to get just one gift for Twilight. Try to keep up, Aurora.
Alice: I'm gonna get that box Pinkie is gonna say she likes.
Bori: Aurora remembers gifts that have already happened. Alice knows the gifts that are going to happen. I just stay in the moment and keep the two of them in line. Speaking of, I believe we have a request for a gift.
Aurora: The best gift is more precious than gold, but it cannot be sold.
Bori: When it breaks, it's not ended, for quickly it's mended.
Alice: It can never be bought yet is easily sought. Ah! Here we go!
[paper rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I like that box!
Alice: Told ya.
[shimmering]
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] The perfect gift! Wow! I don't get it.
Alice: You will.
[bits jingling]
Flim: We said no refunds!
Applejack: [clears throat]
Flim: Oh. You.
Applejack: What are y'all doin' with these dolls and that ridiculous getup? Don't you have a resort to run?
Flim: It's off-season. Besides, we're planning an expansion.
Flam: And expansions cost bits.
[clang!]
Flim and Flam: Flim and Flam's Fro-Yo Flume Ride!
Fluttershy: Well, that sounds fu—
Applejack: It ain't no excuse for sellin' cheap dolls to ponies.
Flim: We're just giving ponies what they want.
Flam: Shopping for the perfect gift is stressful.
Fluttershy: Oh, that's true.
[zip!]
Flim: You want to get something that really stands out.
Fluttershy: I do.
Applejack: [groans]
Flam: And when you tell your friend you got them the hottest gift in Rainbow Falls, what'll they say?
Fluttershy: "Woo-hoo"?
Holly the Hearth's Warmer Doll: [Flim's voice] The more you spend, the more your friend knows you love them!
Fluttershy: Oh, right. They really are good at selling things.
Flim: You may not like it.
Flam: But technically, we're not doing anything wrong.
Flim: Ponies are desperate for the right gift.
Flam: And who are you to tell them this isn't it?
Flim: If ponies get tired of Holly after a few days...
Flam: ...or she falls apart, who really got hurt?
Flim and Flam: Nopony!
Flim: Don't let the curtain hit ya on the way out.
Fluttershy: Of course Rainbow Dash wouldn't want this! I'm so mad, I could just... kick!
[thunk]
Fluttershy: [pained noise]
Applejack: Convincin' ponies to buy that doll ain't in the holiday spirit!
Fluttershy: But Flim and Flam have a point. We can't tell ponies what to buy.
Hughbert Jellius: [smooch]
Applejack: Huh. But maybe we can show 'em!
[snow crunching]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Guh. Could you try to make less noise?
Discord: [whispering] Of course! [snaps]
[poof]
[action music]
Discord: We'll move silently.
[poof]
Discord: Blend into the shadows. The winterchilla will never hear us coming.
Rainbow Dash: Winterchilla?
Discord: Small, adorable, fuzzy, and fast. But they're so rare, there's no telling where they— Oh, there's one right there!
[winterchilla squeaks]
Discord: Now, if you're going to get it, I think the first move is to—
[zip!]
Rainbow Dash: Be super fast?
Spike: Making a gift is way more personal than buying it. [blows] Rarity loves things that take time and effort. I'm sure this one will be the one that works. [yawns] I just need to... stay focused and... [snoring]
[ponies chattering]
Flim: Have a wonderful holiday. And remember, no refunds. Next!
Flam: What are you doing here?
Applejack: Same as everypony else.
[bits jingle]
Applejack: I want a Hearth's Warmer. In fact, I want three!
Flim: Seriously?
Applejack: [overacted] After I saw my friend here with hers, I knew I had to buy some for my granny, my brother, and my little sister!
Flim: Yeah, yeah, great story. Next!
Fluttershy: [overacted] But, Applejack, your granny, your brother, and your sister, they are all so different. How can the same doll be the right gift for all of them?
[ponies murmuring]
"Burning passion": Oh. Well, that might be true.
Applejack: [overacted] But, Fluttershy, this is the must-have gift of the season.
Fluttershy: [overacted] Just because it's must-have for one pony doesn't mean it's must-have for everypony, does it?
Applejack: [overacted] That's true! I guess I need to put more thought into getting the right gift for each pony. Can I return these?
Flim and Flam: No refunds!
[beat]
Applejack: Oh, uh, you want 'em? I'm gonna go pick out gifts that are just as special as the ponies they're for.
"Minty Bubblegum" I... think I'm gonna do some more shopping, too.
[ponies agreeing]
Flim: Now, hang on a moment! Wait! Come back!
Flam: We'll give you a great deal!
Flim and Flam: Buy one, get one free?!
Applejack: [sighs] The sweet sounds of the season.
Butternut: It's a shame you got to leave.
Rarity: Oh, you've been so generous. But I must get home for a previous engagement. I'll be keeping an eye on you, Pistachio. I have the feeling you've got quite the future in fashion.
Pistachio: Rarity! Rarity! I love my parents, but... they don't understand that we just had lunch with one of the most famous ponies in Equestria.
Rarity: Oh, I don't know about most famous. [giggles]
Pistachio: I know you didn't send a Fedora Felt original to some nopony you've never met from Nowhere, Equestria. I'm sure this is actually for somepony special, so... if you want it back, I get it.
Rarity: The hat is indeed for somepony very special. And I couldn't bear to see him part with it.
Pistachio: [gasps] Oh, thank Celestia! Because I did not want to give this up! [chuckles]
Rarity: But if I hear you call yourself a nopony again, you shan't be my guest for Fashion Week in Manehattan.
Pistachio: W-What—? S-Seriou—? Wha—?!
Rarity: [softly] Sorry, Applejack.
[ponies shouting angrily]
[train whistle blows]
Applejack: Puttin' those two in their places makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Fluttershy: Ooh. But we never got gifts for Spike or Rainbow Dash, and it's already Hearth's Warming Eve.
Applejack: It probably ain't what they're expectin', but we still got these. Yay.
Fluttershy: Don't do that.
[splashing]
[shimmering]
Princess Cadance: Flurry loved sledding.
Shining Armor: Too bad her aunt wasn't there.
Twilight Sparkle: Shh!
[plop]
[shimmer]
Flurry Heart: Ooh!
Twilight Sparkle: There. Ingredients measured exactly. Now, what were you saying?
Shining Armor: Hi, remember us? We came all the way from the Crystal Empire for some quality family time?
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I did get a little stressed about Hearth's Warming this year.
Flurry Heart: [baby sounds]
[shimmer]
Flurry Heart: Ooh!
Shining Armor: [laughs] What? You? Never!
Twilight Sparkle: So my friends decided we should do a Hearthswarming Helper and give one pony a present to save time.
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Shining Armor: Let me guess. You got super worried about making sure the present was perfect and went all Twily-nanas, didn't you?
Twilight Sparkle: I wasn't Twily-nanas! Okay, fine. A little Twily-nanas.
Princess Cadance: Twilight, we know you get overwhelmed. You should have just told us. We could've helped.
Twilight Sparkle: The good news is Pinkie's present is almost done, and it's just friends and family and a calm, quiet Hearth's Warming Eve.
[door closes]
[bubbling]
[ominous music]
Discord: [tearfully] Goodbye. Enjoy your exclusive pony-only holiday gathering. I'll just be home, spending quality time with... myself.
Rainbow Dash: Uh... I wouldn't have this little fella without you, so... if you wanna join, Fluttershy would love having you. And I wouldn't totally hate it.
Discord: Great! Awesome! In that case— Oh, look! Sunset! It's officially Hearth's Warming Eve!
[winterchilla grunting]
Rainbow Dash: What is it doing?
[winterchilla growling]
Discord: Oh. Uh, did I forget to mention that the winterchilla transforms into a winterzilla when the sun sets?
[winterzilla growling]
Fluttershy: How did everypony's shopping go?
Rarity: Well...
Pinkie Pie: Uh...
Applejack: Yeeeeeah...
[knock, knock]
Spike: Coming!
[door opens]
Spike: [gasps, chuckles]
Pinkie Pie: Did you get attacked by a party?
Spike: I fell asleep. On somepony's present.
Twilight Sparkle: Run!
Rest of main cast: [gasps]
Twilight Sparkle: The pudding is coming!
Rainbow Dash: Run! The winterzilla is coming!
[crash!]
[crumbling]
[winterzilla roaring]
All but Discord: [gasp]
[winterzilla growls]
Rainbow Dash: What is that?!
Twilight Sparkle: Magic pudding! What is that?!
[winterzilla roars]
Rainbow Dash: A winterchilla!
Twilight Sparkle: They turn into winterzillas after dark!
Rainbow Dash: Does everypony know this except me?!
[sparkling sounds]
Spike: Aah!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] You like the sparkly?
[winterzilla growls]
Twilight Sparkle: Just follow it this way!
Spike: Is this honestly the best plan we can come up with?!
[winterzilla growls]
Rainbow Dash: Can't you do something?!
Discord: I did! This is Fluttershy's gift.
Rainbow Dash: What?!
Rarity: [grunting] A little help, please!
Shining Armor: I've got this!
Princess Cadance: Which one of us can fly, darling?
[magic zap]
Rarity: Whoa!
Shining Armor: Your mom sure is something.
[magic zap]
Princess Cadance: [giggles] You're not so bad yourself.
[winterzilla roars]
[sloop!]
[thud]
[sparkling sounds]
[winterzilla chomping]
Twilight Sparkle: No-no-no! Not that sparkly! This one!
[zip!]
Spike: [grunts] I'm okay if he doesn't want to chase me anymore!
Applejack: How are we gonna get rid of this thing?!
Discord: Oh, for Scorpan's sake!
[poof]
Discord: Hello?! If only one of you had a way with animals?!
Fluttershy: Oh, my.
[winterzilla growling]
Fluttershy: Uh... [clears throat] Excuse me.
[winterzilla roars]
Fluttershy: Whoa! This is supposed to be the happiest time of year! So if this is how you plan on behaving, you can march yourself right back to where you came from!
[winterzilla whimpers, sobs]
Fluttershy: Awww. Your family is gone for the holidays, and you're all alone?
[affirmative growl]
Fluttershy: I'm so sorry. If you calm down, I'm sure you could join us.
[boing, boing]
Pinkie Pie: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[magic zaps]
Pinkie Pie: Uh, maybe leave the baking to me next time. [giggles, chewing] Actually, it's pretty good.
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: Chancellor Puddinghead's recipe.
Pinkie Pie: Now, that's an impressive dessert!
Twilight Sparkle: It's your Hearth's Warming present!
Pinkie Pie: Really? That's so thoughtful.
Twilight Sparkle: It took a lot of research, but I—
[magic zap]
[splat]
Shining Armor: Maybe focus on the task at hoof, Twily?
[winterzilla whimpering]
Twilight Sparkle: Right. The recipe needed to be exact. I think Flurry Heart added something while I wasn't looking, but I have no idea what to add to adjust it. A teaspoon of nutmeg, three sugarplums, extra—
Pinkie Pie: Gingerbread? Four more candy canes?
Twilight Sparkle: How do you know the recipe?
Pinkie Pie: I don't get it.
Alice: You will.
Pinkie Pie: Happy Hearth's Warming, Twilight! I'm your Hearthswarming Helper!
[splash!]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
[shocked growl]
Rest of cast: [gasps]
[shimmering sounds]
[beat]
[happy growling]
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Rest of cast: [cheers]
Discord: Uh, a bit reindeer ex machina, but... two thumbs way up! Whoo!
[fireworks exploding]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry for failing as a Hearthswarming Helper, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: What?! With no pudding disaster, my gift with the exact ingredients wouldn't have made any sense. This way, it was perfect! [nomming]
Rarity: [sighs] At least Twilight has something to show for her effort. I ordered you a fabulous farm hat, Applejack. Alas, it decided it belonged to somepony else.
Applejack: Pops said sometimes the hat chooses the pony when he gave me this. Hopefully my gift inspired whoever's wearin' it to be the best farmer ever.
Rarity: Uhhh, ooh... Something like that.
[rip!]
Fluttershy: We're really sorry about your gifts.
Applejack: We got a bit distracted with Flim and Flam's shenanigans.
Holly the Hearth's Warmer Doll: [Flim's voice] Commercialism is the greatest gift of all!
Discord: [zapping]
Rainbow Dash: They're better than my gift. [sighs] Sorry about the winterzilla.
Fluttershy: [giggling] Oh, he's a big sweetheart. And he ended up being really helpful.
[footsteps thudding]
[winterzilla purring]
Fluttershy: It was actually kind of nice to be the pony who saved the day for once.
Discord: Oh, really? You mean a giant beast that only Fluttershy could tame, making her the hero of Hearth's Warming Eve, was a great gift?
[poofing]
Discord: Imagine that.
Rainbow Dash: [stutters, blows] You mean you tricked me into putting my friend in danger on purpose so you—?!
[winterzilla growls]
Fluttershy: [giggling]
Rainbow Dash: Let's just say it was from both of us.
Applejack: I guess Hearthswarming Helper was kind of a disaster.
Princess Cadance: I don't know. Ponyville always seems to have way more exciting holidays than the Crystal Empire.
Spike: There's one gift left, but I messed up, too. Your present's only kind of finished, Rarity, but I guess it's better than nothing.
[Spike]
I wanted to get you
Something oh, so rare
A gift to show I care
But nothing can compare
To you, that's easy to see
But I got stressed and overthought
Until the day was shot
And it was all for naught
But now it's clear to me
I'm not gifted at gifting
It's really pretty sad
I tried to show I care
But it turned out bad
I'm not gifted at gifting
So all that's left to say
Is that I really hope my gifting
Didn't ruin your holiday
Rarity: Oh, Spike. A song is a lovely present.
Spike: I wanted to get you the best gift ever. I just couldn't figure out what it was.
Rarity: [smooch]
Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! The Gift Givers told me that! Oh, what was it? The best gift is more precious than gold, but it cannot be sold. When it breaks, it's not ended, for quickly it's mended. It can never be bought yet is easily sought.
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]
Pinkie Pie: What's so funny?
Twilight Sparkle: It's a riddle, and the answer is "friendship"!
[Twilight Sparkle]
The most magical gift
That I can recall
It could've been big or small
Or even nothing at all
It doesn't matter, you see
If it's from my friends on whom I depend
No matter what you spend
It will be perfect to me
The true gift of gifting
Is what it means inside
We can show we care
Spreading love far and wide
The true gift of gifting
Is totally free
And you're the best there is at givin' it
With the friendship that you give to me
[All]
We've all been friends forever
And look how far we've come (how far we've come)
The holiday brings us close
And now it's time for fun (it's now begun)
[Pinkie Pie]
The greatest gift you give to me
Is more precious than gold
[All]
Ah-ah-ah-ah
[Pinkie Pie]
Never ended, always mended
And it can't be bought or sold
[All]
The true gift of gifting
Is what it means inside
We can show we care
Spreading love far and wide
The true gift of gifting
Is totally free
And you're the best there is at givin' it
With the friendship that you give to me
Alice: And so it worked out,
And a lesson was learned, there's no need to obsess;
Gift-giving is simple as long as you recall:
Friendship is the best gift of all.
[credits]

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic/Animated shorts

Triple Pony Dare YaEdit

Granny Smith: Seven... Eight... Nine... No, that's a button. I wonder what that goes to. Uh, lemme check.
Rainbow Dash: [deep inhale, long sigh, deep inhale]
Pinkie Pie: Mmmm! Don't you just love Granny's Hearth's Warming fruitcake? [to Applejack] Uh, what's wrong with her?
Applejack: Triple Pony Dare. I bet Rainbow Dash she couldn't wait patiently in this line all the way to the end.
Pinkie Pie: Wow. There's Triple Pony Dares, and then there's just impossible!
Rainbow Dash: [straining, screams] Out of my way!
Applejack: Told ya so! I win, fair and square.
Rainbow Dash: No, you don't! I didn't Triple Dare you back! First one to finish a Dare, they're Triple Pony Dare champion! Forever!
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: Hmph!
Rainbow Dash: Triple Pony Dare ya. No touching, no wearing, for one... whole... moon!
[bionic clicking]
Applejack: I missed you so much, Tallulah!
[whooshing]
Applejack: Triple Pony Dare ya, Rainbow Dash! Fly slower than apple molasses!
[screech!]
Rainbow Dash: [straining] Aah!
Rainbow Dash: Keep going. You need twenty more to win this Dare.
Applejack: [straining] Whoa...! [screams, groans]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Applejack: You gotta dig five holes before sunset – Earth pony style!
Rainbow Dash: [grunts]
[clang!]
Rainbow Dash: [warbling]
[crack]
Rainbow Dash: Buck one and only one.
Applejack: [gulps]
[soft tap]
[thud]
[flump!]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: So? Find a Triple Pony Dare champion forever yet?
Applejack: It should be me! If Rainbow Dash didn't keep comin' up with such lowdown, nasty Dares.
Rainbow Dash: Me?! Do you know how hard it is to fly slow?!
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] I just figured out how to settle this whole thing!
Rainbow Dash: You did?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh. I Triple Pony Dare you... to quit daring each other!
Applejack: No way!
Rainbow Dash: Me, neither!
Pinkie Pie: Guess that means... I'm the winner! I win! I win! I win! Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! [giggles]

The Great Escape RoomEdit

[crunch]
Rainbow Dash: Hey! You stepped on my tail!
Applejack: Sorry. Can't see a darn thing.
Fluttershy: Did Pinkie Pie say what her Hearth's Warming Eve surprise was going to be?
[click]
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: [yelp]
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to my amazingly amazing escape room! So? You amazed?
[beat]
Rarity: Yes. Because it looks remarkably like Applejack's barn.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, it's sooo much more. Holiday clues, puzzles, and riddles are hidden everywhere! And until you solve them to find the key...
[rattle]
Pinkie Pie: We're locked inside!
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity: [gasp]
Twilight Sparkle: Come on, everypony. We're experts at escape rooms now.
Pinkie Pie: Good! 'Cause if we don't get out of here in time, something super big and really scary is going to happen!
Fluttershy: What kind of something?
Pinkie Pie: I don't remember.
Rarity: But... But you created this escape room!
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh. Then I made sure to forget everything so I can play, too. Whee!
Rainbow Dash: That's not what the clue means. We're supposed to lick the candy canes, then sing carols.
Applejack: The way I see it, we gallop backwards, whistle carols, then lick 'em.
Pinkie Pie: Why not try both?
[gramophone playing]
Pinkie Pie: [whistles]
Rainbow Dash: [straining]
Fluttershy: [straining]
Rarity: Two hundred thousand, seventy-four... Two hundred thousand, seventy-five... Two hundred thousand, sev...
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, what does any of this have to do with finding a key?
Pinkie Pie: We're having fun!
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling]
Rarity: Oh, poo! I've lost count! One... Two...
[music]
[clock ticking]
[bell clanging]
Rainbow Dash: Well? Which one of these is the thing you need for the perfect Hearth's Warming Eve?
Pinkie Pie: All of them! [squee] Yay!
Fluttershy: [cries]
[buzzing]
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
Pinkie Pie: And time's up! And you didn't find the key, so get ready. What's gonna happen?!
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: [scared noises]
[whirring]
Mane Six except Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
[squeak!]
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah! That's what it was! Woo-hoo! Wasn't that sooo much fun?!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh... "fun" is a very strong word.
Gummy: [blows noisemaker]

Mystery VoiceEdit

Rarity: Welcome, class. Today, we are going to make dolls for Hearth's Warming Eve.
[loudspeaker whines]
[microphone taps]
Loudspeaker: Good morning, students and teachers. Due to the snow, Yodeling Club is canceled. Thank you.
[click]
Rarity: Hmm. Odd. That didn't sound like Twilight. Well, as I was saying—
[loudspeaker whines]
Loudspeaker: Hi-hi-hi! One more thing. Urban yovidaphone practice is postponed 'til after holiday break. Ta for now!
[click]
Rarity: Ta indeed! Now, if that is all...
[beat]
Rarity: Wonderful. As I was saying, I think you're going to find this project very—
[loudspeaker whines]
Loudspeaker: the fun and games society regrets to inform you that today's outdoor chess event is being rescheduled! Scheduled... scheduled...!
[click]
Rarity: [annoyed tone] As I was saying—
[loudspeaker whines]
Loudspeaker: have a great day!
[click]
Rarity: [growls] That does it! Enough interruptions!
[door opens, slams]
[thud]
[smack!]
Rarity: What are you two doing here?
Rainbow Dash: I can't get through a sentence without being cut off! I'm gonna tell those announcers to pipe down!
Fluttershy: I'm gonna ask them politely! I've been trying to teach my students how to feed a hedgehog—
[loudspeaker whines]
Loudspeaker: [high-pitched] And don't forget! The Jump-Rope Jamboree is also canceled!
Fluttershy: But that keeps happening.
Rainbow Dash: Let's go have a friendly teacher chat with those announcers. On three.
Rarity: One...
Fluttershy: Two...
Rainbow Dash: Three!
[door opens]
Applejack: [high-pitched] Sorry for the inconvenience!
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity: Applejack?!
Applejack: Oh, hey! What do you think? Twilight said I could do the announcements today. With all the bad news, I thought I'd give 'em some flavor.
Rainbow Dash: Wait. All those voices were yours?
Applejack: [chuckles] Sure were. Want to hear another?
Rarity: Actually, if you don't mind saving them, I think we have a perfect Hearth's Warming solution for the blizzard outside.
Applejack: [non-accented] This land shall be known as Unicornia. [normally] ...proclaimed Princess Platinum. [gruffly] pegasopolis! [normally] ...demanded Commander Hurricane. [high-pitched] Dirtville! [normally] ...suggested Chancellor Puddinghead. And still the windigos raged outside. [spooky noises]

Rarity's Biggest FanEdit

Twilight Sparkle: I'll have my usual mane style. Thank you, Aloe.
Rarity: [fake cough] Not again.
Twilight Sparkle: Do you need some water?
Rarity: Oh, I'm fine, darling. But why couldn't you try something different for once? A chic updo will simply scream "headmare"!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure I want my mane to scream anything. [to Aloe] I'll just have the same as always.
Rarity: Oh, bother. Of course you will.
Twilight Sparkle: What can I say? I know what I like. But there's nothing stopping you from trying a new style.
Rarity: I do feel the winds of change rustling my mane. But what to get? Hmm... [groans] I need something spectacular!
[wind whistling]
Rarity: Something... moving!
[window closes]
Twilight Sparkle: Princesses Celestia and Luna are the only ones with manes like that.
Rarity: Not for long!
Rarity: [grunting] Oh, come on, mane! Move! [sputters] There must be a secret to it.
[magic zap]
[cracking]
[hairspray hissing]
[cracking]
[wind whistling]
[train whistle blows]
"All Aboard": Last stop!
[ponies chattering]
Rarity: Oh, poo!
Spike: Oh, uh, hey, Rarity. I picked up that fabric you asked me to. Anything else you need?
Rarity: [gasps]
[wings flapping]
Rarity: Now that you mention it...
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: Rarity! I can't believe you figured it out! What's the secret to the spell?
Rarity: Actually, there was no spell. All it takes is... [clears throat]
[wind whistling]
Rarity: ...a big fan!
Spike: [panting]
Rarity: Thank you, Spikey-Wikey. Now, come along. We've got things to do and ponies who need to see me!
Spike: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [giggles]

Ail-icornEdit

Twilight Sparkle: [sneezes]
Spike: I've tried everything! Poultices, soup, a poultice made of soup. But nothing's helping Twilight get better!
Twilight Sparkle: [congested] I told you, Spike. It's just a little spring allergy— [sneezes]
[magic zap]
Twilight Sparkle: —in my horn.
Rarity: Strange. I've never had a horn allergy.
Rainbow Dash: Must be an Alicorn thing.
Rarity: Oh, pity. The glitter is simply par excellence.
Spike: Uh, I wouldn't do that.
[poof!]
Spike: Told ya.
[whiffle!]
[stretching]
[snap!]
Applejack: That... is the fifth strangest thing I've ever seen.
Rarity: How do I get it off?!
[thud]
Rarity: Whoa! Whoopsie! Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: [coughing]
[teleportation zap]
Fluttershy: S-So... c-c-c-c-c-cold...!
Spike: See? We gotta do something to stop Twilight from sneezing magic!
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry. But there's nothing you can do. Everything I've read says this just has to run its cour— Ah...
Rainbow Dash: Take cover!
Twilight Sparkle: Ah... Ah... [sneezes loudly]
[magic zap]
Applejack: Uh-oh! Whoooaaa! [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Applejack.
Rainbow Dash: I'll get you down!
Twilight Sparkle: [sneezes]
[magic zap]
Rainbow Dash: [horn honks, sawing sounds]
Spike: Uh... what'd she say?
Rainbow Dash: [jackhammering, slide whistle, chicken squawk]
Fluttershy: I don't know. Not even I speak sound effect.
[knocking]
Rarity: This is ridiculous! We simply must find a cure!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: [muffled] Never fear!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie is here! Special delivery from Zecora!
Rainbow Dash: [drill sound, cuckoo clock, cat yowl, bionic clicking]
Pinkie Pie: That's what I said. Anyhoo, Zecora promised this potion will cure Twilight!
Twilight Sparkle: [gulping, hiccups]
[poof!]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Aw, yeah!
[poof!]
Twilight Sparkle: It worked!
Pinkie Pie: Except...
[poof!]
Pinkie Pie: ...there may be some teensy-eensy side effects.
Baby Twilight Sparkle: [crying]

Teacher of the MonthEdit

Applejack: Hey, Fluttershy! Congrats on bein' Teacher of the Month. Again. What is this, number fifteen?
Fluttershy: Oh, um... sixteen, actually. [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: What's your secret? Say some other pony wanted to be Teacher of the Month. What should she do?
Fluttershy: Well, um, I'm not exactly sure.
[students chattering]
Fluttershy: All right, class. Time to tidy up.
Students: Awww...
Fluttershy: I mean, it's time for a clean-up dance party!
[thud]
[dance music]
Students: Yay! [laughing]
[camera clicks]
Fluttershy: Today, we're gonna learn about responsibility.
Students: [groan]
Fluttershy: By taking care of baby animals!
Students: Yay!
[camera clicks]
[rain falling]
Fluttershy: Sorry, everyone. Looks like we have to cancel our field trip because of the weather.
Students: Awww...
Fluttershy: We'll just have to stay here and play games instead!
Students: Yay!
[camera clicks]
Applejack: Wow. You really are a great teacher.
Rainbow Dash: So? Teach us! How can we get our picture on that wall?
[dance music]
Applejack: Welcome to the first annual Student Appreciation School Party!
Rainbow Dash: Set up and hosted by us!
Students: Yay!
Fluttershy: I definitely think they should be Teachers of the Month, don't you?
[students muttering in agreement]
Applejack: Thanks for your help, Fluttershy. We wouldn've never thought of this without you.
Smolder: Wait.
[music stops]
Smolder: This was Fluttershy's idea?
Rainbow Dash: Well...
Applejack: Uh, yup.
Students: [laughing]
[camera clicks]
Rainbow Dash and Applejack: [laugh, sigh]

Starlight the HypnotistEdit

[door knocks]
[door opens]
Starlight Glimmer: Oh, hey, Twilight. Did you knock?
Twilight Sparkle: No! I mean, yes! I mean, am I interrupting something? I'll come back later.
Starlight Glimmer: No, stay. I was just fixing Pinkie Pie's kite. Uh, is everything okay?
Twilight Sparkle: [laughing nervously] Well, since you asked, there is a little tiny something bothering me.
Starlight Glimmer: Oh. [chuckles] Then you've come to the right counselor.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, wow. This is actually kind of embarrassing, but...
Starlight Glimmer: But...?
Twilight Sparkle: The thing is, I'm terrified of... of...
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps, screams]
[spoon clatters]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: [screams, yelping]
Starlight Glimmer: Ladybugs? Like the cute, little, red beetle things with black spots?
Twilight Sparkle: When I was a filly, a swarm of them got into our house. Shining Armor told me that their spots were extra eyes watching you wherever you go! So creepy! [whimpers] Ever since Fluttershy assigned the students that ladybug care project, they're everywhere! What's this? "Magical Hypnosis for Phobias: A Beginner's Guide".
Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm. I've been studying the techniques. Want to give it a shot? Okay! All you have to do is keep your eyes on the star. You should begin to feel sleepy any moment. [echoing] Just listen to the sound of my voice. Instead of being afraid when you see a ladybug, you will now—
[door bursts open]
Pinkie Pie: Kite-flying time! Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: Ladybug... Kite-flying time... Woo-hoo... [groans]
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [yelps] Can't see me now, huh?! What's wrong?! Got clouds in your eyes, spots?! [crazed laughter]
Pinkie Pie: Wow! Twilight really likes her new kite. But why does she keep yelling at it to stop looking at her?
Starlight Glimmer: [groans]

Sundae, Sundae, SundaeEdit

Pinkie Pie: Step right up, everypony, to the coolest attraction in all of Equestria! [slurps, giggles]
[ponies chattering]
Pinkie Pie: And I mean cool.
Daisy: Ooh...
Pinkie Pie: This show is cooler than a snow sandwich in Yakyakistan.
Sea Swirl: Ooh...
Pinkie Pie: What icy treasures await you ponies behind this very curtain? Oh! I'm glad you asked. 'Cause I've got the "scoop"!
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: A big one! Presenting the one, the only... Sugarcube Corner Ice Cream Museum!
[squeak!]
[ponies cheering]
Mrs. Cake: [clears throat] Uh, Pinkie Pie? Uh—
Pinkie Pie: The Sugarcube Corner Ice Cream Museum is the only place where you can learn about the history of ice cream and admire whatever flavor you favor! [giggles] Come on, everypony. Revere the rocky road! Commend the cookie dough! Marvel at the mint chip! And don't forget to take a dip in the rainbow sprinkle pool! It's so beautiful!
Mr. Cake: [worried sound]
Mrs. Cake: Pinkie Pie, dear, the ice cream is going to—
Pinkie Pie: Be delicious! That's right, Mrs. Cake! Because there's tasting spoons for everypony! You get a spoon, and you get a spoon, and you get a spoon, and you get a spoon!
[ponies laughing]
Pinkie Pie: What could top that, you ask?
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Go on. You ask.
Crowd Pony: Uh, what could... What could top—?
Pinkie Pie: Toppings! Jimmies, gummies, crumbles, jumbles, sprinkles, pickles... [gasps] And that's just the first row!
Mrs. Cake: Well, why don't we go inside and see?
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] Tell me, Cranky. What flavor of ice cream are you most excited about?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Vanilla.
Pinkie Pie: Well, you're in luck! 'Cause this museum's got that, too! Now, who's ready to chill out with me?!
[ponies cheering]
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to...
Mrs. Cake: [whimpers]
[ponies gasp]
Pinkie Pie: The Sugarcube Corner Ice Cream— [gasps] Soup Museum?
Cranky Doodle Donkey: Good. I can't stand eating cold things.
Pinkie Pie: [slurps] Mmmm! [gasps]
[splash!]
Pinkie Pie: Melted is my new favorite flavor!
[ponies laughing]

My Little Pony: Rainbow Roadtrip


[Singer]
I got your message, the sun is shining
And the open road is calling our names
My bag is packed, so are you ready?
'Cause to lose this day would be a shame
There's a rainbow waitin', a song is playin'
And I can't wait to hit the road with you
There's a rainbow waitin'
And we got rainbow road-trippin' to do!
[music]
Pinkie Pie: [singsongy] Road trip! [normal] Okay, not technically a road trip, because we're taking that. Uh-huh. Whoa!
Rainbow Dash: Beat ya to the balloon!
Pinkie Pie: Nope! I'm gonna beat you!
[zip!]
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: [humming]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Pinkie Pie: Whoa!
[both grunting]
Pinkie Pie: I'm gonna beat you!
Rainbow Dash: No, I'm gonna— [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Eep!
Applejack: Howdy.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: [panting] Okay, I was fourth.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah? Well, I was fifth! [giggles]
Rainbow Dash: That's not even—!
Pinkie Pie: Aw, yeah!
Rainbow Dash: But I beat you!
Applejack: Y'all are both still late! We gotta shove off soon, or we'll miss the tailwind.
Fluttershy: Don't worry. We wouldn't have left without you.
Rarity: Well, that goes without saying, darling. After all, Rainbow Dash is the guest of honor at the Rainbow Festival.
[whoosh!]
Rainbow Dash: Ha-ha!
Fluttershy: Has anypony seen Twilight? It's not like her to be late for an adventure.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm coming, I'm coming! [panting]
Spike: [grunting]
Twilight Sparkle: [panting] Sorry. I just had to pack up a few books and papers to grade.
Spike: [straining] And by "few", she means "slightly less than I'm able to lift"! [grunts]
Rainbow Dash: Wait. You're bringing work to a festival?
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! It's supposed to be a nonstop fun-o-rama party!
Rest of the Mane Six: Yeah!
Twilight Sparkle: Grading papers is fun. It's relaxing and rewarding and—
Applejack: Too much to talk about right now. [grunts]
[flame igniting]
Spike: [grunts, sighs]
Applejack: Let 'er loose, Spike!
Twilight Sparkle: Keep an eye on things for me, and feel free to file those class assignments while I'm gone.
Spike: It's my top priority. Have fun, everypony!
[music, music stops]
Fluttershy: Um, why aren't we going anywhere?
Applejack: Hmm. The basket's too heavy.
Rainbow Dash: Rarity?
Rarity: How dare you! I brought the itsy-est valise!
Applejack: Sorry to do this, Twilight, but... [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: My papers!
[whistling]
[thud]
Spike: [grunts] Ugh.
Applejack: They'll keep 'til we get back.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Miss us!
Pinkie Pie: Bye-bye!
Twilight Sparkle: Keep an eye on things!
Spike: See ya! And remember, whatever happens at the Rainbow Festival, I wanna hear all about it when you get back!
[Mane Six giving various goodbyes]
[traveling music]
[birds chirping]
Rarity: Did somepony mention something about a spa in... where is it we're going again?
Rainbow Dash: Hope Hollow. Or, as I like to call it...
[whoosh]
Rainbow Dash: "Rainbow Dash Fan Central"!
Applejack: Ugh. You're gonna be like this the whole trip, ain't ya?
Rainbow Dash: You know it! I mean, look at this letter! They love me there!
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Dear Rainbow Dash, thank you for agreeing to be our guest at this year's famous Hope Hollow Rainbow Festival. The many members of your fan club..."
Rainbow Dash: [clears throat]
Applejack: [sighs]
Twilight Sparkle: [continues reading] "...are looking forward to your visit. You and your friends will be staying at our famous luxury Rainbow Resort and Spa, where your every whim will be catered to."
Rarity: Oh, I accept that challenge. I have so many whims.
Fluttershy: Oh, look. There's a famous butterfly garden, too.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm. Y'know, it's strange that we never heard of this festival before, especially since everything in the town is so well-known.
Rainbow Dash: [reading] "At this year's festival, you can eat treats at the traditional Rainbow Bakery Booth, sing your favorite rainbow-themed songs at the karaoke competition..."
Pinkie Pie: Bakery and karaoke?! It's like they see into my soul!
Applejack: [reading] "...and try our famous rainbow trout catch-and-release activity." Huh. Now that sounds right up my river.
Pinkie Pie: Plus, we get to watch the mayor give Rainbow Dash an award! I call dibs on the cheering section! [squeals]
[party cannon]
Rarity: An award for what, exactly?
Rainbow Dash: I 'unno. Showing up? General coolness? [laughs] All of the above?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, we're so glad you invited us along.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! It's gonna be one long party, which starts... now!
A hundred bottles of pop on the wall
A hundred bottles of pop
[Mane Six]
Take one down, pass it around
Ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall
Ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall
Ninety-nine bottles of pop... [fades out]
[Pinkie Pie]
Two bottles of pop on the wall
Two bottles of pop
Take it down, pass it around
One bottle of pop on the wall
And a-one more time!
A hundred bottles of pop on the wall
[muffled speaking] Six times too many?
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Shouldn't we be there by now?
Applejack: Huh. I thought so, too. Maybe we should've turned left at that last cloud instead o' right.
Fluttershy: Ooh, it's getting darker by the minute.
Rarity: I can't see anything! Oh.
Pinkie Pie: I spy with my little eye... a rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: Great. We're playing that game now?
Pinkie Pie: No, I really do spy a rainbow!
Mane Six: [awed reactions]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow! That's the biggest rainbow I've ever seen.
Rarity: [panicked] And we're headed right for it!
Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. We'll pass right through it. Rainbows aren't solid.
[thud]
Mane Six: [gasping]
Applejack: Tell that to the rainbow.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think that's a rainbow. It's a rainbow billboard!
[creaking]
Fluttershy: Oh, no!
Twilight Sparkle: Hang on, everypony!
[air escaping]
Mane Six: [screaming]
Pinkie Pie: [blowing]
Rarity: I don't think that working!
Applejack: We're gonna craaaaash!
Mane Six: [resume screaming]
Mane Six: [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, let's get everypony out!
[music]
[teleportation zap]
Mane Six: [sighing]
[crash]
Mane Six: [scream]
Pinkie Pie: [coughs]
Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie: [gasp]
Applejack: Phew! Thanks, y'all. That basket could've been us.
Fluttershy: Where... are we?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh! [reading sign] "Welcome to Hope Hollow: Home of the Famous..."
[crash]
Pinkie Pie: [resumes reading] "...Rainbow Festival"!
Rarity: We've arrived, and there's nopony here to greet us?
Twilight Sparkle: Good thing, too. The guest of honor and her friends just destroyed the town sign.
Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, did your letter say where our hotel is?
Rainbow Dash: Uh... [reading] "The middle of town".
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm... Doesn't really help much when you don't know where the middle is. Let's start looking.
[music]
[spooky music]
[sign creaking]
Applejack: Huh. Funny. You'd think a big luxury resort would be sorta, well... easier to spot.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! It seems like the whole town's shut down.
Fluttershy: Oh, look. There's somepony.
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. Hello!
Petunia Petals: [gasps] Oh.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you can help us. We're here for the Rainbow Festival.
Petunia Petals: [Minnesota accent] Oh, uh, "Rainbow Festival"?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, you know, the one where I'm the guest of honor? [laughs] Yeah!
Petunia Petals: Oh, for cryin' in the mud, what's Sunny done now?
Applejack: Excuse me?
Petunia Petals: I mean, um, you'd best talk to Mayor Skies about that.
Twilight Sparkle: Great! And where would we find him?
Petunia Petals: City hall. Uh, but it's closed 'til tomorrow, don'tcha know? Is there somethin' I can help ya with?
Rarity: Uh, yes, please. Could you direct us to the Hope Hollow Luxury Resort?
Petunia Petals: [giggles]
[beat]
Petunia Petals: Oh! Oh, you mean the hotel?
Mane Six: Mm-hmm.
Petunia Petals: That's easy. There's only one in town.
Applejack: Could you, uh, give us directions?
Petunia Petals: No need. You're there.
[doors open]
Petunia Petals: I mean here!
[music]
[lights click]
Petunia Petals: Hotel Hope, also known as the Town Information Center and Library! My name's Petunia Petals, by the way. Helloooo!
[zip!]
Petunia Petals: I'm the librarian here and the information guide...
[ding!]
Petunia Petals: ...and the hotel manager, historian, chef, portrait painter—
Rainbow Dash: Um, I'm Rainbow Dash, and this is everypony.
Rarity and Pinkie Pie: Hello.
Applejack: Howdy.
Petunia Petals: Well, hello, everypony! You just wait one hoofshake, and I'll take ya to the room.
Rarity: The room?
Petunia Petals: There's only one. Makes it easier to find! [chuckles]
[music]
Petunia Petals: Here it is! The Royal Suite!
[door opens]
Mane Six: [gasp]
[lights flickering]
Rarity: [gasping dramatically] How rustic and charming.
Petunia Petals: Isn't it just?
Rainbow Dash: I couldn't help noticing there are only three beds.
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, four.
Pentuina Petals: Oh, there's a pop-out, too! [grunts] It can be a little tricky.
[thud]
Petunia Petals: There she is. Sleeps two. You'll be all fresh and ready to see the mayor in the mornin'.
[door opens]
Petunia Petals: Sleep tight.
[door closes]
[shatter]
Twilight Sparkle: Did anypony notice anything strange about Petunia?
Rarity: Other than that she just called this place "the Royal Suite"?
Applejack: Hard to tell in this light, but she looked a little gray, didn't she?
Rarity: Probably from all the dust up here. [blows, coughs]
Pinkie Pie: Aw, this room's not so bad. All it needs is some balloons, streamers... [humming] And... a piñata! Good thing I brought some!
Fluttershy: Huh? And look. It comes with a cute little spider. Hello, spider.
[spider squeaks]
Fluttershy: Awww.
Rainbow Dash: [groans] Sorry, everypony. I didn't know what I was getting you into.
Twilight Sparkle: Aw. The most important thing is we're all together.
Applejack: Yeah. As long as we have beds to sleep in, we're set.
[fwip!]
Applejack: Whoa! Ugh.
[music]
Twilight Sparkle: Well... [yawns] ...it wasn't the worst night of sleep ever.
Rarity: But definitely in the top three... or would that be the bottom three?
[ponies murmuring]
Fluttershy: Why is everypony looking at us?
Applejack: Maybe they recognize Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Or Princess Twilight. But probably me.
Rarity: No. I think they're staring because we're the only part of this town that isn't... gray.
Pinkie Pie: Whadaya mean?
Rarity: Look around. All the colors here are gone!
Twilight Sparkle: That's so strange. It's just like I noticed about Petunia last night. Everything's mostly gray.
Petunia Petals: Oh! Hellooo!
Applejack: Except the stuff that's grayer.
Fluttershy: Oh, my. I knew something was different, but—
Rainbow Dash: This is so weird!
Man Pony: Huh?
Rarity: And the way they're gawking at us, it appears they think we're the odd ones.
Fluttershy: Maybe they don't even notice. It might be rude to mention it.
Twilight Sparkle: I wonder what caused this.
Applejack: We can ask the mayor.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, if we ever find him.
[ponies whispering]
Barley Barrel and Pickle Barrel: [grunting]
Barley Barrel: Quit shoving!
Pickle Barrel: Shoving? These are pro-level moves I'm doing, sis. Yeah— Ohhh!
Barley Barrel: C'mon! Let go!
Barley Barrel and Pickle Barrel: [gasp, grunt, gasp again]
[angelic choir]
[beat]
[zip!]
Barley Barrel and Pickle Barrel: [whispering indistinctly]
Mrs. Hoofington: [upper-class accent] Don't pout, dear. It'll wrinkle your withers.
Mr. Hoofington: [upper-class accent] I'm not pouting, sweetums, but I am hurt by your comment. I thought the pie I baked was quite tasty.
Mrs Hoofington: I didn't say it wasn't.
Mr. Hoofington: You didn't say it was.
Mr. and Mrs. Hoofington: Oh!
Moody Root: Watch where you're goin'! You don't own the sidewalk, ya know?!
Mr. Hoofington: Well, I never!
Mrs. Hoofington: Ugh.
Mr. Hoofington: Huh?
Mr. and Mrs. Hoofington: Oh!
Mane Six: Huh?
[crane cranking]
Applejack: Well, look at that. Somepony's fixin' up our balloon.
Mayor Sunny Skies: [Minnesota accent] Oh, goodness. This is unfortunate. Bad with a side of terribly awful. [to Mane Six] Excuse me. Sorry.
Mane Six: [angry reactions]
Mayor Sunny Skies: [sighs] Eh? Ohhh! [laughs] Well, stuff me in an olive and call me a pimento! It's the Rainbow Dash! Ya made it! Uh, it is.. you, isn't it?
Rainbow Dash: Pretty sure, yeah.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, thank Celestia! I saw the balloon, thought the worst, and... Well, you're here, all o' ya! Welcome to the Hope Hollow Annual Rainbow Festival!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm Twilight Sparkle, and you must be...
Mayor Sunny Skies: Sunny Skies, the mayor o' this lovely town, and pleased as a poplar tree to meetcha!
Fluttershy: We're very sorry about your rainbow billboard, Mr. Mayor. It was dark and—
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, don't give it a second thought. That old thing needed repair anyway. I haven't used it since... uh... well, never mind. Uh, a-a-anyway, once your balloon's fixed up, Torque can take care of the billboard. Everypony, meet Torque Wrench, our town handypony. She offered to repair your balloon for ya.
Torque Wrench: He volunteered me.
Mayor Sunny Skies: She'll have it fixed in a jiffy.
Torque Wrench: If, by "jiffy", ya mean "this will take all day".
[torch flame]
Mayor Sunny Skies: Sooo ya got in last night. I wish I'd known. I would've been here to greetcha. Uh, where'd y'all stay?
Rarity: At the "Luxury Hotel".
Applejack: Petunia Petals let us in.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, well, of course she did. She's somethin', I'll tell you what. I'd be lost without her. I mean, uh, th-the town would be.
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Mayor, I hope you don't mind my asking, but is there a reason your town is... faded?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh! Heh. Ya spotted that, did ya? Well, it's a... long story. Uh, why don't I show you the town highlights first?
Mane Six: [confused reactions]
[plop]
Mayor Sunny Skies: Here's our famous outdoor spa with the all-natural mud bath. Pretty, huh?
[plop]
Rarity: Ah! Ugh.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we could see some of the Rainbow Festival activities from the brochure.
Mayor Sunny Skies: O' course! The bakery booth is there...
Fluttershy: Huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Hmm?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Or... will be. We're... still settin' up, but we gotta lotta great things planned.
Fluttershy: And... the butterfly garden?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, that's right over here.
Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: Huh.
[paper falling]
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, uh, lemme fix that.
Fluttershy: So none of the butterflies are actually...
Mayor Sunny Skies: Real? Oh, no. Uh, what with the flowers not havin' color and all, the butterflies don't really come around much anymore.
Applejack: I'm almost afraid to ask, but the brochure mentioned fishin'?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Fishin'? Oh, I'm not sure whatcha mean.
Twilight Sparkle: "Our famous rainbow trout"?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, yah, sure! Uh, well, uh, you don't fish for him exactly. You just kinda, uh, talk to him. Uh, he's right over, uh... [sighs] That's funny. Where'd our trout go?
Trout Pony: Oh, Mr. Mayor! Uh, just, uh, taking my lunch now, okay? [slurp!]
Mayor Sunny Skies: [chuckles nervously]
Pinkie Pie: Um, so no big deal – well, actually, okay, yes, kind of a big deal – but the brochure also mentioned a karaoke contest? [blink, blink]
Mayor Sunny Skies: Right here!
[sign falls]
[thud]
[microphone feedback]
Mayor Sunny Skies: The trout doubles on harmonica.
Trout Pony: [toots harmonica]
Fluttershy: How... multitalented of him.
Pinkie Pie: Good thing I bring my own karaoke party!
With me wherever I go
Whoa, whoa-oh!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Well, uh... that's the big tour. [hums]
Twilight Sparkle: Mayor Skies.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Eh?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. Your Rainbow Festival isn't quite as you described.
Rainbow Dash: And the resort hotel wasn't what it was cracked up to be either.
Applejack: 'Cept for all the cracks.
Rarity: None of these things are as pictured in your brochure.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Well, maybe I exaggerated a little, but I-I'd intended on havin' everythin' ready. It's just kinda hard gettin' anypony excited about anythin' in this town anymore! Ugh. I didn't think ya'd come if ya knew the truth.
Twilight Sparkle: The truth?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh... There is no Rainbow Festival!
Mane Six: [gasp]
Applejack: No Rainbow Festival?!
Rainbow Dash: No fan club?!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Believe me, I didn't mean to—
Rainbow Dash: Bring us here for nothing?!
Twilight Sparkle: Think of all the papers I could be grading!
Mayor Sunny Skies: If ya just let me—
Rarity: We should just leave this very moment!
Applejack: Balloon's not fixed yet.
Fluttershy: Maybe we should let the mayor explain.
Mayor Sunny Skies: [clears throat] Uh, guess I should start at the beginnin'. A long time ago, when my Grandpa Skies was mayor, Hope Hollow was different. They used to call this town "The End of the Rainbow", 'cause everything you'd ever want, you could find right here.
[Mayor Sunny Skies]
Next door neighbors chatting over white-wood fences
Stoppin' on the street to say hello
When friends did well, we sang their praises
Brought soup to comfort them when they felt low
That was our town at the end of the rainbow
No pots of gold or buried treasure
Just everypony looking after each other
The truest riches cannot be measured
It was a lesson that had kept us together
In our town at the end of the rainbow
To honor our fine town, my Grandpa Skies decided
To throw a party each and every year
They planned for weeks, cooked for days, celebrated fifty ways
So everypony would gather here
In our town at the end of the rainbow
Grandpa made a gizmo called the Rainbow Generator
To paint the sky with lots of colors shining bold and bright
To remind us all together we are greater
And darkness never wins against the coming of the light
Grandpa passed it on to Dad, then it was my turn
To make the pretty rainbows in the sky
It filled my heart with pride to see our whole town gathered gratefully
Where we were sure there would never be
An end to the rainbow
Then fences went up, we lost track of our neighbors
Each year passing, dimming spirits all around
The happy days came to an end
Nopony had time to spend together in the town
I thought I knew exactly what the festival needed
A bigger, better rainbow would surely make them see it
But the extra magic was too much for the Rainbow Generator
And I'm the one who brought the rainbow to an end
That's how our town, our little pony town
That's how our town saw the end of the rainbow
Pinkie Pie: [bawls] That is the saddest story-song I've ever heard!
Mayor Sunny Skies: I tried for a long time to get everypony interested in the Festival again. To remember what it's like to come together as a community and share the fun. But nopony even bothered listenin'. That's why I wrote to you, Rainbow Dash. You were my last hope. I figured if a pony of your stature came to town, it would get everypony excited about puttin' on the Festival again. I mean, "Rainbow"'s even part o' your name!
Rainbow Dash: Mmm, yeah, I can see that.
Twilight Sparkle: Mr. Mayor, what kind of magic did you use on the Rainbow Generator?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, I'm not sure. I didn't know what I was dealin' with. I only wanted to help. But instead, I sucked all the color outta the town. That billboard's one o' the only things that didn't change. To me, it's a reminder of what we can be. Keeps the "Hope" in "Hope Hollow".
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm. If I could find out the type of magic you used, I might be able to reverse the spell.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Ya mean, you're gonna stay?
Mane Six: [agreeing]
Applejack: Heh. Nothin' we like better than a challenge, 'specially when it comes to helpin' ponies.
Mayor Sunny Skies: You don't know how clam-happy this all makes me! Thank you kindly!
Twilight Sparkle: We'll do whatever we can to bring back your Rainbow Festival.
Mayor Sunny Skies: I won't fib to ya, it won't be easy. It's gotten so nopony even talks to each other anymore.
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm, it might be tough, but we have a little experience bringing ponies together.
Pinkie Pie: Yay! This is exactly like planning a party! Only bigger, 'cause it's a festival! [giggles] Which means more cupcakes! Whoo-hoo! Ooh. Ah! I've got a date with the Bakery Booth! Ha-ha!
[zip!]
Pinkie Pie: [giggling rhythmically]
Fluttershy: Um... I'd better go with her.
Rarity: Hmmm, an overall stylistic look to unify the sentiment of the celebration. That's what this festival needs.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Ya mean like a rainbow?
Rarity: Yes, darling, yes, yes, but more complex, more thematic, something like— Ooh! something like that! Formidable!
Twilight Sparkle: The biggest challenge is getting your town interested in a Rainbow Festival when everything's so... gray. I think if we can bring the color back, it'll solve everything.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Yah, I'm with ya there, but—
Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, I need your help.
Rainbow Dash: Mr. Mayor, seriously, is there a fan club?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, you betcha! They're around... somewhere.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh.
Applejack: Any tools I can borrow, your Honor? I'm gonna spruce up that billboard to let everypony know this here Rainbow Festival's back in business!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh, that's music to my ears! Torque Wrench, let's get our guest tooled up, whadaya say? She's gonna put our rainbow back up.
Torque Wrench: [sarcastically] Oh, yippee.
[music]
Petunia Petals: Heh-heh.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh! Uh, if ya don't mind, I, uh, I have a speech to work on. See ya 'round.
Applejack: Hmm.
Rainbow Dash: So... what's your plan?
Twilight Sparkle: If magic caused this, maybe magic can solve it.
[music]
[magic sounds]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Oh, I was afraid of that. I've never seen any magic like this before.
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Let me try. I mean, "Rainbow"'s part of my name, right?
[music]
[whooshing]
[boom!]
[ponies exclaiming]
Rainbow Dash: Ugh. Yeah, that's all I got.
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Thanks for trying. I guess I need to do more research.
[whooshing]
Barley Barrel: Look out!
Pickle Barrel: No, you look out!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [screaming]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [grunt]
Pickle Barrel: [groans]
Rainbow Dash: Are you okay?
Barley and Pickle Barrel: Oh!
Barley Barrel: Why did you zig in front of me like that?
Pickle Barrel: I didn't zig! You zigged! I zagged!
Barley Barrel: That's no excuse for—!
Rainbow Dash: Guys, guys, hold on! It was just an accident.
Pickle Barrel: An accident that happened in front of you.
Barley Barrel: Ugh, I'm so embarrassed. All of our lives, we've been wanting to meet you, and—
Rainbow Dash: Wait. So you're the fan club?
[doing!]
Barley Barrel: You've heard of us?
Pickle Barrel: Barley's the president.
Barley Barrel: Pickle's the assistant president.
Rainbow Dash: Well, what do you know? The mayor was telling the truth about something!
Barley Barrel: Anyway, you're my brother's favorite Wonderbolt!
Pickle Barrel: And my sister's favorite Wonderbolt, too!
Barley Barrel: He knows all your best moves!
Pickle Barrel: So does she!
Barley Barrel: We practice all of 'em, every day!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [grunting]
Pickle Barrel: But we really can't do them. [to Barley] Well, it's true!
Barley Barrel: [to Pickle] Go ahead. Ask her.
Pickle Barrel: No, you ask her.
Barley Barrel: No, you ask her!
Pickle Barrel: No, you!
Barley Barrel: No, you do it!
Pickle Barrel: No, you do it!
Barley Barrel: Mmm!
Rainbow Dash: Somepony ask me!
Barley Barrel: Do you think maybe... you could give us a lesson? Just a tiny one? Show us some of your moves?
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Well, you promise to listen and work hard and practice?
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [gasp]
Pickle Barrel: Yes!
Pickle Barrel: Absolutely, practice!
Rainbow Dash: Heh, tell you what. If I like what I see, the three of us will put on a show at the Rainbow Festival.
Barley and Pickle Barrel: Oh!
Barley Barrel: There's still a Rainbow Festival?
Pickle Barrel: And we're gonna perform at it?
Rainbow Dash: I think the whole town should know there's a couple of future Wonderbolts living here. C'mon! We got work to do!
[whoosh!]
Barley Barrel: Did you hear that?!
Pickle Barrel: She called us "future Wonderbolts"!
[whoosh!]
[magic sounds]
Applejack: I think some o' this can be saved, but we'll need some fresh lumber. Uh, Torque, the mayor said maybe you could lend a hoof.
Torque Wrench: [groans] Him and his crazy schemes. What's your business in this anyhoo? Hmm?
Applejack: Well, for one thing, we're helpin' the mayor. And for another, Granny Smith always says, "You break somethin', you fix it. And any job you do, you should be proud of."
Torque Wrench: [laughs] Proud of bein' the repairpony? [laughs]
Applejack: Well, absolutely! It's a pretty rare talent to have. Nice work on that balloon basket, by the way. Reweavin' all that straw is no joke.
Torque Wrench: Oh. Yah, well, thanks for, well, noticin'.
Applejack: [grunts]
[hammering]
[magic sounds]
Rarity: [humming] Hmm? That's one of my designs! Hello?
Kerfuffle: [gasps] Whoa, no way! Stack my pancakes! Are you really the Rarity?!
Rarity: Uh, it's just "Rarity". Uh, and I-I couldn't help but notice that you've got—
Kerfuffle: [gasps] I love ya! I love ya so much! Your work, I mean! Your designs, your taste, your eye for beauty!
Rarity: Well, thank you—
Kerfuffle: They're the perfect canvas for me to fancy up!
Rarity: Yes, about that. The— the hat, the— the boa, the scarf, the—
Kerfuffle Do ya like 'em?
Rarity: Very charming.
Kerfuffle: [gasps] Thank ya! [giggles] Those are Kerfuffle originals! I'm Kerfuffle! Spelled like it sounds, with a double "ffff" for the "fuff"! [gasps] I should really stop talking now.
Rarity: I do hope you don't mind my asking. But with all this talent, why don't you simply display your own work instead of adding to others?
Kerfuffle: [laughs] Oh. Oh, no, I-I couldn't. It's... not good enough by itself.
Rarity: Hmph, au contraire. Take this shawl. Hoof-dyed, nicely woven, a piece of art by itself. Imagine if you could work in color.
Kerfuffle: Oh, I do imagine. I mean, that's how I design things. I feel in my heart what the colors are. Like this scarf. This stripe is red, then orange, yellow...
Rarity: Like a rainbow. How would you like to work with me as the official assistant designer of the Rainbow Festival?
Kerfuffle: [gasps] Really? Work with you?! I can't believe it! [laughs gleefully] Wait, there's still a Rainbow Festival?
Rarity: Darling, if we have anything to do with it, not only will there be a festival, it will be the most stylish anypony in this town has ever seen! Now let's get started!
[magic sounds]
[music]
[doors opening]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow...
[music continues]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Petunia Petals: Ya like it?
Twilight Sparkle: I love it! I just never thought—
Petunia Petals: That a teeny town like Hope Hollow would have a library this grand? We may be small, but we're well-read. I make sure of it.
Twilight Sparkle: Mayor Sunny was right. You are something!
Petunia Petals: Did he really say that? [giggles] Oh, that silly unicorn. Did he say anythin' else? I mean, uh, anyhoo, what can I do you for?
Twilight Sparkle: I don't suppose you have a magic section?
Petunia Petals: [laughs] "Arcane", "Elemental", or "Theory of"?
Twilight Sparkle: [squeals]
Pinkie Pie: Let's see. If fifty cupcakes makes a party, that means for the festival, we need... divide by two, carry the one...
Fluttershy: More?
Pinkie Pie: Super more! We're gonna need some baking help!
[sign creaks]
Fluttershy: [gasps]
Pinkie Pie: Huh?
[crack]
Fluttershy: It looks like it's closed.
Pinkie Pie: Aw, that's so sad.
Mr. Hoofington: [distantly] We can only use the ones from our yard, lovey.
Mrs. Hoofington: Oh, darling, stop it.
Pinkie Pie: Excuse me. I see you're taking your pie for a walk, and I was wondering—
Mrs. Hoofington: We're not interested. Ugh, it's getting so a pony can't even walk down the street without being terrorized.
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] That's not terrorize. This... [babbles]
Mr. and Mrs. Hoofington: Aah!
Pinkie Pie: ...is terrorize.
Mr. Hoofington: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: So, how would you like to be a part of the official baking team of the Rainbow Festival?
Mrs. Hoofington: There's still a Rainbow Festival?
Pinkie Pie: Uh-huh. We'll have a booth with cupcakes and pastries and fun, and we're gonna start with this pie! Let the taste test begin! [chomps, gags] Blech! Bleghhht! [gagging] What kind of pie did you say this was s'upposed to be?
Mr. Hoofington: Apricot.
Pinkie Pie: Are you sure? It's kinda... crunchy.
Fluttershy: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mrs. Hoofington: Well, the apricots are from our very own tree.
Mr. Hoofington: In our very own yard.
Mrs. Hoofington: Behind our very own house.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah. Maybe we should get a look at this tree.
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [grunting]
Rainbow Dash: All right, rookies. Show me what you got.
Barley Barrel: [whispering, to Pickle] She sounds just like we always imagined she'd sound!
Pickle Barrel: [whispering, to Barley] Only twenty percent cooler!
Rainbow Dash: Well? Aren't you gonna fly or something?
Pickle Barrel: Yes, sir! I mean, ma'am. Uh...
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [chuckle nervously]
[music]
Barley Barrel: Okay? Break!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [groan] Whoa! [grunt, yell]
[music]
Rainbow Dash: Fancy flying is something you have to work up to. Even I didn't become "Rainbow Dash" in one day.
Barley Barrel: Two days?
Rainbow Dash: Everypony's got to learn the basics before they can show off.
[whoosh]
Barley and Pickle Barrel: Whoa!
[music]
Rainbow Dash: You'll get there. But first, let's start with a single flip.
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [gasp]
[magic sounds]
Fluttershy: If you don't mind my asking, you don't sound like the other ponies here in town.
Mr. Hoofington: Oh, we weren't born here. We're originally from Manehattan.
Mrs. Hoofington: But it was so big. All those ponies crammed together, never talking to each other. Ooh.
Mr. Hoofington: We heard Hope Hollow was just the opposite, so we moved here.
Mrs. Hoofington: And it was wonderful... uh, for a while.
Fluttershy: What happened?
Mrs. Hoofington: Uh, things changed. Oh! Here. This is the tree.
Mr. Hoofington: This is where the apricots in my pie came from.
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Well, I'm no expert, but I don't think these are very ripe. Apricots are supposed to be orange.
Mr. Hoofington: Well, that's the problem, isn't it? With hardly any colors in this town, one apricot looks like another.
Fluttershy: What about that tree? Its apricots are big and juicy.
Mr. Hoofington: Oh. We can't use the apricots from that tree.
Pinkie Pie: Sure ya can! All you gotta do is—
Moody Root: Hey! Stay away from my tree!
Fluttershy: W-What was that?
Mr. Hoofington: Just old Moody Root.
Mrs. Hoofington: He's made it quite clear he won't share his apricots. He hasn't even said "hello" in ages.
Fluttershy: Have you tried saying "hello" to him?
Mr. Hoofington: What? Well, no, but—
Fluttershy: Mr. Moody Root, are you there?
Moody Root: Who wants to know?
Fluttershy: I'm Fluttershy. Your apricot tree is beautiful. So healthy. You must take very good care of it.
Moody Root: Well, I try to. Plant food. A good water now and then. Keeps my apricots happy.
Fluttershy: I bet that's why you have so many of them. You must always be busy making things. Jam, cobbler, pie...
Moody Root: Nope, I just eat 'em. Although, pie does sound pretty good.
Mrs. Hoofington: What in Equestria is she doing?
Mr. Hoofington: I haven't the foggiest, dear.
Pinkie Pie: Doing what she does best.
Fluttershy: Your neighbors were just about to bake some pies. You know them, right? Mr. and Mrs. Hoofington, Mr. Moody Root.
Moody Root: Um... [clears throat] H-H-Hello, uh...
Mr. Hoofington: Yes. Hello.
Mrs. Hoofington: Hello, Mr... Root.
Moody Root: [clears throat]
Fluttershy: But they're a little short on apricots.
Pinkie Pie: If only there was some apricots we can use... [clears throat, clears throat more irritably]
Mrs. Hoofington: Oh, yes, of course! We'd be happy to bake you a pie.
Mr. Hoofington: Two or... three pies even.
Moody Root: So ya mean if I give ya my apricots...
Pinkie Pie: [gasps] What a great idea!
Fluttershy: Then everypony can share. What do you think, Mr. Moody Root?
[sloop!]
Mrs. Hoofington: Ugh. Oh, well.
Fluttershy: Wait for it...
[music building up]
[gate opens]
Moody Root: Got a ladder? We can just pick 'em from your side of the fence!
Mr. Hoofington: Um, yes, of course! Uh, this way!
[magic sounds]
[music]
[pages flipping]
Twilight Sparkle: A prism curse? An erasure spell? None of these are big enough to make a whole town lose its color on their own! Ugh! Unless...
Mayor Sunny Skies: [muffled] Oh, for the love o' cheddar!
Twilight Sparkle: Huh?
Mayor Sunny Skies: [muttering]
Twilight Sparkle: Mayor Skies.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Oh!
Twilight Sparkle: What is all this?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Princess Twilight! Welcome to our town's Rainbow Room. Anything you want ta know about each year's festival from the very beginnin'.
Twilight Sparkle: The pictures! They're in color!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Sure are. Oh. Those are from happier times. Back when there still was a festival. Seems even though we faded, the memory never did. I come here sometimes for inspiration. I need plenty for this speech I'm writin'. Biggest one of my life. [to Petunia] Oh! Didn't see ya there!
Petunia Petals: Sunny! I-I didn' know you were here.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Uh, Uh, j-just leavin'. [chuckles] I-I gotta finish this. W-Well, uh, s-see ya later!
Twilight Sparkle: Whoa. The festival was really something, wasn't it?
Petunia Petals: Used to be wonderful. It brought the whole town together for a long time, and these pictures are from the last festival. You can see it didn't go well.
Twilight Sparkle: Right. The mayor's magic in the generator caused the colors to go.
Petunia Petals: That's what Sunny thinks. He blames himself for it, but I'm still not convinced it was anythin' other than an accident!
Twilight Sparkle: There's something strange about this. I just can't put my hoof on it. If only the Generator hadn't been destroyed...
Petunia Petals: Not all of it was.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps]
Petunia Petals: [grunts]
Twilight Sparkle: Wow!
Petunia Petals: I don't keep it out because I know it hurts th' mayor to see it.
Twilight Sparkle: Mind if I borrow this?
[music]
Mayor Sunny Skies: [laughs] Great job! It's even better than it was before, don'tcha know?
[ponies chattering]
Pony #1: Rainbow Festival?
Pony #2: Didn't know it was still goin' on.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Sure is! Bigger and better than ever! I hope. Tell all your friends!
Colt: Can we go, Mama?
Pony #2: I suppose so. Why not?
[magic sounds]
Colt: [gasps, laughs]
Twilight Sparkle: Mr. Mayor. [grunts] I hope you don't mind, but—
Mayor Sunny Skies: Where'd ya find that?
Petunia Petals: I gave it to her, Sunny. She has an idea.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Best idea would just be to throw that thing in the trash heap.
Twilight Sparkle: My theory is that the Generator magnifies whatever magic it uses, makes it stronger. So if we could rebuild it and use one of the reversal spells I just read about, it could work to bring color back to the town!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Even if we could get it workin' again, which is quite a tall order...
Applejack Not for a gifted repairpony who I just happen to know.
Torque Wrench: Let me take a look-see. Yah, I could give 'er a go.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Huh. I don't wanna get my hope up, but... yahoo!
Torque Wrench: Don't worry. I'll get to work.
Petunia Petals: Um, how's your speech comin', Sunny? I'd be happy to help you with it if you'd like.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Uh, oh, no, you couldn't. Uh, t-thanks, but, uh, I have to do a little mayor-type business, don'tcha know? But I'll check back in a little bit to see how everythin's goin'.
[zip!]
Petunia Petals: Hmmm. He's actin' so peculiar.
Applejack: From what I've seen of the mayor, how can ya tell exactly when "peculiar" kicks in?
[music]
Moody Root: [chomping] Mm-mm-mm-mm! If I'd have known your pie was this good, I'd have given you those apricots ages ago!
Mrs. Hoofington: Mr. Hoofington did all the baking.
Mr. Hoofington: Mmm, inspired by you, Snookums. Mwah.
Moody Root: Say, the whole town should know about this here pie.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, don't worry. They will. We're gonna give it away at the Rainbow Festival!
Moody Root: Wait, what? There's still a Rainbow Festival?
Fluttershy: Uh-huh.
Moody Root: [laughs]
[magic sounds]
[ding]
Torque Wrench: Well, here it is. Had to hoof-build some of the parts myself, but it's as good as new.
Applejack: Hoo-wee! This looks amazin', Torque. Nopony else could have pulled this off.
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you so much for your help.
Torque Wrench: It was a real challenge, but turns out that was part of the fun! [chuckles]
[music]
[magic sounds]
Applejack: Whoa! D-Did y'all see that?
Twilight Sparkle: Now we need to test it.
Petunia Petals: Should we call the mayor?
Twilight Sparkle: Might be best to make sure it works first. I'd hate to disappoint him.
Applejack: Uh, Twilight, I think I saw—
Twilight Sparkle: In a moment, Applejack. This is important.
Applejack: Yeah, but—
Twilight Sparkle: Turn on the Generator.
Applejack: Oh. Okay.
[clicking and whirring]
Twilight Sparkle and Petunia Petals: [gasp]
Applejack and Torque Wrench: [gasp]
[machinery continues]
[sheen!]
Applejack: Huh! Well, look at that!
Petunia Petals: Oh, isn't it beautiful? That's what the Generator has always done for years and years.
Twilight Sparkle: Now we just add magic, and...
[boom!]
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Petunia Petals, and Torque Wrench: [sigh]
[music]
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] I'm sorry. I thought for sure it would work.
Petunia Petals: Let's not tell the mayor. It would break his heart.
Twilight Sparkle: No. We have to tell him we failed. We can't bring the color back.
Applejack: Hmm... Twilight! I really think you should see this. You betcha—
Pinkie Pie: We did it!
Twilight Sparkle and Petunia Petals: Huh?
Applejack: [sighs]
Pinkie Pie: [humming] Everything you need for the Rainbow Festival bake sale!
Moody Root: [grunts]
Fluttershy: Courtesy of the Hoofingtons.
Mr. Hoofington: And Mr. Moody Root!
Moody Root: [chuckles]
Twilight Sparkle: Ooh! Everything looks delicious!
Petunia Petals: Mr. Moody Root! Why, I haven't see ya in the library in ages.
Moody Root: High time I came back. Hey, you got any of them there cookbooks?
[whoosh!]
Moody Root: Wha?
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [laughing]
[music]
Torque Wrench: Hey, they're pretty good.
Rainbow Dash: They've been practicing their tails off for the big show.
[whoosh!]
Torque Wrench: What big show?
Rainbow Dash: The Rainbow Festival. They're the official entertainment.
[music]
Barley Barrel: Mm!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [grunting]
[thud]
Rainbow Dash: Uh, landing still needs a little work.
Rarity: You're all here! Wonderful! You can help us set up our cart. Kerfuffle's official Rainbow Festival accessories.
Kerfuffle: Ta-da!
Rainbow Dash: Heh, whoa-ho-ho! Nice stuff.
Kerfuffle: And I designed color-matched assessories for each of ya!
Pinkie Pie: Um, I can't help but notice that the color-matched accessories don't have much color.
Rarity: Well, of course not, silly. The town doesn't have any color, remember?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, right.
Kerfuffle: Oh, but don't worry. I know where the colors are supposed to be. An orange scarf for Applejack, red leggings fer Fluttershy...
Fluttershy: Ooh.
Kerfuffle: The pink flower lei is for, well, you-know-who.
Pinkie Pie: No, who? [laughs] Mm-hmm.
Rarity: And look at my purple kerchief. Isn't it divine?
Kerfuffle: The blue goggles are fer Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Oh-ho-ho.
Kerfuffle: [to Barley and Pickle] And I think I have some that might match for you two.
Pickle Barrel: Whoa!
Barley Barrel: Whoa!
Kerfuffle: And somethin' very special for Princess Twilight. Wing bling! In every shade of the rainbow, don'tcha know?
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Kerfuffle, this is amazing! Everypony, you've done great work. [sighs] I just wish I could've done my part. I hate to admit it, but I'm stuck. I don't know how to make the town's color come back.
Applejack: [spits] That's what I've been tryin' to tell ya! It is comin' back!
[magic sounds]
[ponies exclaim]
[magic sounds continue]
Pickle Barrel: Whoa!
Fluttershy: What's happening?
Rarity: Something wonderful!
Twilight Sparkle: But how? It wasn't the Generator. Which means something else must have drained the town's color in the first place! I have to get back to the library!
Twilight Sparkle: I thought so! Look. In the second photo, when the Generator goes off, this pony is walking away. But on the third photo, when all the color's gone, he's back where he was. Which means...
Petunia Petals: [gasps] We have to tell the mayor!
Mayor Sunny Skies: Tell me what?
Petunia Petals: Sunny! Have you seen what's happenin' outside?
Mayor Sunny Skies: No, I've been in here fer a while workin' on my speech.
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe we should just show him.
Mr. Hoofington: Who wants apricot pies? Best pies in Hope Hollow!
Mrs. Hoofington: Pies for sale! Yummylicious!
Pony #2: Hello there, Mr. Hoofington, Mrs. Hoofington. Been a while.
Mrs. Hoofington: How lovely to see you.
[magic sounds]
Mr. Hoofington: [gasps]
Mrs. Hoofington: Oh!
Pinkie Pie: What's better than one pie? Lots of pies! Official Rainbow Festival goodness right here now!
[magic sounds]
Moody Root: [gasps]
Rarity: Over here, darlings! Just look what Kerfuffle has come up with!
Customer #1: I never knew you did such great work. I have to visit your shop.
Trout Pony: Hey, ya got anythin' waterproof?
Kerfuffle: Mm-hmm. Whoa!
[magic sounds]
Mayor Sunny Skies: [gasps] Oh! But... colors! So you were able to reverse the Generator?
Petunia Petals: The Generator had nothin' to do with it and never did.
Mayor Sunny Skies: So none of it was my fault?
Petunia Petals: No, ya big doofus! How many times have I tried to tell ya that? All those years, ya blamed yerself for nuthin'.
Twilight Sparkle: These photos from the library explain everything. Once I realized they were out of order, it proved that the town's colors got dim before you turned on the Generator.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Boy howdy, am I glad to hear that! But then, what did cause it?
Twilight Sparkle: It's called "Hopeless Magic". Everypony was already giving up each other, losing hope. Then, when the Generator blew up, it must have been the last straw. It took all the hope out of the town for good, along with the color. But now there's a different kind of magic. Of everypony coming together again. Just the way you wanted it, Mayor.
Torque Wrench: Whadaya know? There is still a Rainbow Festival.
Twilight Sparkle: And we'd better get it started. This town's been waiting long enough.
Torque Wrench: The Generator's workin' again, Mr. Mayor, just the way your grandpa built her.
Mayor Sunny Skies: Heh. I just hope my speech lives up to the occasion.
Twilight Sparkle: Attention, please! Welcome to the brand new Hope Hollow Annual Rainbow Festival! And here's the pony who made it all possible – Mayor Sunny Skies!
[ponies cheering]
Mayor Sunny Skies: I am as proud as a two-tailed peacock to see you all here today to once again celebrate our little town at the end of the rainbow.
[cheering]
Kerfuffle: Ohhh...
Mayor Sunny Skies: And I can't give enough thanks to Rainbow Dash, Princess Twilight...
Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles]
Mayor Sunny Skies: ...Pinkie Pie...
Pinkie Pie: [giggles]
Mayor Sunny Skies: ...Fluttershy...
Fluttershy: [giggles]
Mayor Sunny Skies: ...Rarity, and Applejack.
Applejack: Heh.
Mayor Sunny Skies: My grandpa started this festival to celebrate us, the ponies of Hope Hollow. It's you who brought friendship back to our town, and all the bright colors that come with it.
Girl Pony: Aw.
Mayor Sunny Skies: We just have to always remember to reach a hoof out to our neighbors, to respect and listen and talk to each other. You never know what just sayin' "hello" to somepony can do. So, without further ado...
[Pinkie Pie]:
Here we go
This is the moment, yeah
Let the Rainbow Festival begin!
Mayor Sunny Skies: [awkward laugh]
[generator whirring]
[ponies gasping]
[magic sounds]
Colt: Whoa, what's happening?
Torque Wrench: Wow.
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Whoa.
Kerfuffle: It's exactly as I imagined it!
[ponies cheering]
Petunia Petals: That was a beautiful speech, Sunny.
Mayor Sunny Skies: What? Oh, no, uh, that wasn't my speech.
Petunia Petals: Uh, but, uh, then what have you been writin' all day?
Mayor Sunny Skies: Well, uh, another speech. I mean, it's for later, but... Oh, flapjacks. I guess now is as good a time as any. [sighs] Petunia, you've never given up on me or the town. You always had hope when we had none, and I can't imagine a day without you. You're the pony who brings color into my life. Petunia Petals, will you marry me?
Petunia Petals: Of course, ya silly goose!
[all cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Attention, everypony! Introducing Hope Hollow's very own Junior Wonderbolts!
[cheering]
Barley Barrel: Did you hear what she called us?!
Pickle Barrel: Did you hear what she called us?!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: Junior Wonderbolts! [laugh]
Pickle Barrel: All right!
Barley and Pickle Barrel: [laugh]
[music]
Rainbow Dash: Okay, guys. Showtime!
Pickle Barrel: [chuckles]
[music continues]
[boom!]
[ponies cheering]
Rainbow Dash: Heh. Now this is something I'm proud to be a guest of honor for! [gasps]
Fluttershy: And it looks like there's a butterfly garden after all.
Pinkie Pie: Only one more thing could make this Rainbow Festival better.
Rarity: Oh, not more karaoke, darling.
Pinkie Pie: What? No. A trout DJ!
Trout Pony: [toots harmonica]
[ponies cheering]
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Now that's a party!
[All]
We're living in color
[Twilight Sparkle]
Step out of the shadows and into the light
Where it's bright and you might see all the colors you are
[Rainbow Dash]
Or any color you wanna be that your mind can see
And wear them bright like a shining star
[Rarity]
Why just be black and white?
No need to hide all those colors inside
[Fluttershy]
'Cause when they shine up bright
It just feels right
[All]
To be living in color
We'll be living in color
To be living in color
We'll be living in color
[Applejack]
Make up any colors that you can devise
Mix 'em up, watch the joy as it multiplies
[Kerfuffle]
Make a rainbow and you will see
How together we are like
[All]
One when we harmonize
[Rarity]
Why just be black and white?
No need to hide all those colors inside
[Fluttershy]
'Cause when we shine so bright
It just feels right
[All]
To be living in color
We'll be living in color
To be living in color
We'll be living in color
[Fluttershy]
Hello, my friend is a big bright yellow
[Twilight Sparkle]
Violet's what you get when you're feeling mellow
[Moody Root]
Red is the part where your heart starts to glow
[Kerfuffle]
In the mood, in the groove, indigo
[Rainbow Dash]
Blue is the sky spinnin' high as can be
[Applejack]
Orange can amaze, bringin' days that are sunny
[Mrs. Hoofington]
Green is serene, take a breath, feel new
[Pinkie Pie]
Feel all the living colors
[All]
There's a rainbow in you
Now we're living in color
Yeah, we're living in color
Now we're living in color
Yeah, we're living in color
We're all living in color (living in color)
We're all living in color
We're all living in color (living in color)
We're all living in color
We're all living in... color!
[credits]
[Singer]
Ah, ah, ah-ah, ooh
Ah, ah, ah-ah, ooh
Ah, ah, ah-ah, ooh
Ah-ah
There's a rainbow waitin', a song is playin'
And I can't wait to hit the road with you
There's a rainbow waitin'
And we got rainbow road-trippin' to do
Ah, ah, ah-ah, ooh
Ah-ah-ah